#then that's just internalized ableism baby!

[giantkillerjack]

Reblogging this today to add a reminder that if able-bodied people buy shower chairs just because they want them, then the companies who make those chairs will make more, which is bad because then the world will have more shower chairs, which would hurt a LOT of people, somehow, probably!

(Same for when people with perfect vision wear decorative glasses or non-prescription sunglasses! They are selfish impostors stealing from the truly pitiable virtuous!!)

Sure, YOU might be more comfortable; you might enjoy yourself more taking your daily shower, but at what cost??

Are you SURE you want to risk making your bathroom more accessible for any disabled guests you have??

We can't have disabled people thinking that they can just give up and use readily available mobility aids by treating those items as normal household objects with no shame attached!

Disabled people need shame! How else will they be motivated to stop being disabled??

Anyway, all this is just to say, if you're thinking about getting a shower chair, definitely DON'T!!!

You shouldn't get a wheelchair, walker, cane, shower chair, or any kind of assistive technology mobility aid because then you might become dependent on them. Just like how you also shouldn't get glasses if you have bad eyesight because then you might become dependent on those.

For instance, if you end up stuck using corrective eyewear, you could actually lose your ability to tell what things are even when they are extremely blurry! You need to get used to having migraines from seeing unclearly because if you wear glasses all the time, you are basically giving up!! You don't need to see things coming at you from far away! You just need to get good at dodging, and if you can't, then you have no one to blame but yourself!!

For example, I read a really heart-worming article recently about a girl who was stuck using glasses - just absolutely, tragically trapped in her eyewear from dawn to dusk, even though she was good and never ever complained; and I heard she trained herself to discern the blurry faces of her loved ones with 60% accuracy! - she was even able to walk down the aisle at her wedding WITHOUT forcing the discomfort of seeing a woman in glasses on all her guests!!

Sure, she had to give her vows with a splitting headache, and she couldn't see her husband's expression when he said "I do," but overall, SO inspi-ration-al!!! So up-lifting!!

(She didn't even have to use a seeing eye cane, which would have been the worst-case scenario, obviously, because she worked hard to make sure she looked LESS disabled, not MORE disabled!!! Everyone knows blind people exist solely to be a cautionary tale to sighted people!!)

Also, did you know some people get glasses when they only need them a little bit?? How selfish of them! Sure, there's not a shortage, and an increase in demand would result in overall increased accessibility to glasses--but emotionally it's like taking glasses away from someone who needs them more! After all, if everyone who needed glasses got them, then...... um...... more people would have glasses! Which is probably bad!!!!

I also had a friend who was trapped in glasses who saved up all her money for laser eye surgery, and I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Sure, some doctors say some people don't "qualify" and it "won't help" those people, but that's why you can't give up!! You don't want to be one of those people!

After all, what's the worst thing that could happen with an unnecessary laser surgery to the face that comes with crippling debt??? It's worth the risk to gain your FREEDOM back, and I'm so proud of my friend!!

Tragically, she did die later that year while driving Uber and squinting at street signs, but at least now I know my friend is finally free from the shackles of her terrible eyesight. #ripAshley #rippedAshley #justripit 😌😌😌❤😇😇😇

And that's why you shouldn't get used to using a mobility aid!! Because, like glasses, they are inherently embarrassing to be seen with; and - like glasses - it is more noble to suffer silently than to depend on unnatural technologies that force you to rely on them; AND - just like glasses - by abstaining from using them, you DEFINITELY benefit SO many people in tangible life-changing ways!!! (Besides, everyone else will be so much more comfortable if you just look normal! 😊)

I hope you learned something today. 💖

[babyforestnymph]

something i’ve been thinking about a lot is how in order to be as mean to myself as i am i have to go against my own morals and beliefs i quite literally have to lie to myself to be that mean to myself

[notebook-enthusiast]

wish i could just get over what's wrong with me bc i'm sick of myself

[hamletisabitch]

Used a chair at the zoo tonight and it did not in fact make me combust, good job everyone

[r0achlezbian]

are there any warrior cats fans who actually like the books or are we all just discussing our own separate better versions that live in our heads

[quevadilla]

.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

I do not have any opinions on the whole 'reclaiming the word 'retard' to use it as an insult' thing but I will say that it is very funny how at least online, it's driven by the desire to put forth some kind of aloof posturing despite also suffering from the most frenzied and anxious internal justification in the world. "nonono, see, it's not ableism in this case because it's being used by me, the biggest victim of ableism. it has no capacity for harm because i'm just a little guy...but you better watch out because that won't stop me from saying it against uwu babies >:)". the kids who deployed it against you did so viciously and without a second thought. you want cool mean girl cred but cannot even acknowledge a dynamic where you are the victimizer instead of the victim. you're fixated on a potential for cruelty that will never actualize because you suffocate it with your fear of other people's opinions of you at every opportunity, like some kind of lowly stooge- or worse, like the self conscious bullied child you once were. house of cards ass internet persona....

[arliedraws]

All this anti-Remus talk is making me like him even more 😂

I love that he’s a character who is so fixated on image and how he comes off. He’s such a cold person! Detached! Won’t form close bonds! Like…his loving parents fucked him up by keeping him away from all other children until Hogwarts. I love how this plays into his character again and again and again.

I put the rest under the cut because it gets a bit tangential, but whatever, I was feeling a bit heated.

I feel like Remus doesn’t actually know how to make friends—he has let everyone come to him. James and Sirius formed their little group, and Remus has always been in awe of what friends will do FOR him. What did Remus do for his friends? Maybe Remus learns how to accept love, but he is not very good at giving it back.

It’s so interesting to me that Remus doesn’t become Harry’s go-to even after they spent hours together. Harry allows Remus to see his most vulnerable side, and Remus doesn’t reciprocate even after the truth comes out. At the very least, he could write Harry. He could visit Harry in the summer.

But I actually LOVE this about Remus. I love that he’s written as a warm, inviting sort of person when he’s actually someone who is terrified of forming close bonds. No one is allowed to see the real Lupin, and once someone has seen a part of himself he doesn’t like, he immediately detaches himself and disappears. Remus wants to appear in control of himself because he is concerned more about his image than doing the right thing. At the end of PoA, I’m sure he’s upset that he nearly killed Harry and co, obviously, but more importantly, he’s embarrassed that he lost control. If he really cared about the safety of students, he would have revealed Sirius’s disguise to Dumbledore as soon as Sirius escaped Azkaban.

The point of his character is “what you see on the surface is not necessarily what lies below.” It’s one of the most salient themes of PoA.

Anyway, it’s uncomfortable! So many people want to make Remus a “model of marginalization” - who, depending on the fanon, falls on one end of the spectrum which is “ohhhh poor disabled guy :((( he can’t do anything because he’s a pathetic baby” or “look how hot and tall and rational and intelligent he is despite his poverty/disability!!!!”

It’s SO INFANTILIZING. I don’t think Remus is a bad guy or a good guy—I think that his particularly negative character traits are a result of prejudice towards his condition, his upbringing, and his internalized prejudice towards werewolves. So I am not saying he’s a complete asshole. Obviously. My point, though, is that he has friends who support him in school, particularly James, who break the law and risk torture prison (and bodily harm from a werewolf) to support him.* And Remus…he does not do much to reciprocate that sort of love. The very least he can do for James is to check in on Harry (he doesn’t even need to say hi—just literally see that he’s ok!). James risked his life for Remus, and Remus won’t risk Dumbledore’s disapproval to reciprocate.

He continually does the LEAST for Harry. Harry has to beg him to teach him the Patronus Charm. And when Harry is clearly craving his parents’ voices as they’re dying, Remus doesn’t even offer a nugget of “ohhhh, gosh, Harry, let’s give you some good stories about your dad, ok?”

This is a cold, broken man who has convinced himself that being alone is safe because you can never be rejected. This is Remus’s greatest fear. He’s the teacher that needs to be liked but he hides behind professionalism when it suits him. His “nice guy” traits are a fucking ACT. I want people to explore more about his negative traits! He blames his condition when people get too close, and when people manage to climb his walls to try to get close to him, he pushes them away.

Chronic illness does not make you a good person—it just makes life harder. Remus accepts love and support from his friends—and yes, they SHOULD give him love and support because this is what we owe each other, but Remus also owes his friends love and support. It’ll look different from how James, Sirius, and Peter can support him, but you don’t get to just take from your friends without giving back. Your friends are not there to be your mommy. Sometimes, you’ll go through periods where your friends are holding you up and you just need to accept that they don’t resent you for it, but if you’re willing to accept help, you’d better be willing to return it later. As someone who has a few people in their life who take and take and give little in return, I can tell you, it starts to feel like your only purpose is to carry them on your shoulders. And man, it’s fucking exhausting. Sometimes I need to be carried too.

I have no idea how Remus behaved at Hogwarts regarding his friends on a day to day basis because Harry never sees evidence of this, but we see him as an adult who is unwilling to support his friend’s orphaned kid in ANY meaningful way…unless Harry begs him. In the end, Remus is still an autonomous adult and Harry is a child in need. In this situation, at the bare minimum, Remus has the power to pick up a pen and write.

So why don’t we see this more in fic? You all know I’m a Sirius stan, but I am CONSTANTLY critiquing Sirius’s relationship with masculinity. Sirius is my favorite character, and I LOVE exploring the uncomfortable parts of him—he’s cold when he perceives that he has been emasculated, even belittling Harry when he’s insulted. He’ll put himself in danger to protect Harry when all Harry really wants is for Sirius to be there for him (which Sirius can’t do in OotP). These are the bits that make me queasy—and I love exploring them!

Why not explore the ugly parts of Remus? You say you want interesting, well-rounded characters with chronic illness/disabilities/neurodivergence? Then let them be interesting. Make them complicated and embrace the icky parts of them. If you want, explore how society has created a cold, sad, wet noodle Remus and then GIVE HIM A PATH TO GROWTH. Like… if you don’t like these parts, give him scenarios so he can grow and become a better person.

Anyway, stop fucking throwing around words like “ableism” when you hear something you don’t like about a character. You don’t know the real person behind their username. Most of us here have some sort of disability/neurodivergence/chronic illness, etc, so stop fucking assuming we’re Chad Abled-Bodied or Karen Neurotypical, ffs.

It’s fucking insulting and infantilizing that we can’t discuss complexity in characters who are marginalized in their society. By excusing all of their less than cute actions, you’re essentially saying, “This is not a full human being with a full range of emotion and flaws—they are a perfect little baby who doesn’t deserve reproach, who can do whatever he wants!”

But that’s just me, I guess.

—

* (Also, side note, Moony the werewolf could have very well killed any one of them. Additionally, the theory that Moony couldn’t hurt them in Animagus form was ONLY A THEORY. It might not have worked at ALL and they risked their lives to test it.)

[milevenstancyendgame]

Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

[catherine-sketches]

I know in the original concept the creators imagined Viktor having both of his parents

But I can’t shake the image of a single mother from my mind (perhaps because there is so many single parents over here. Vander, Silco, Singed, Ximena, Jinx and Sevika to some extent)

Have you guys ever thought about Viktor’s mom?

Who was this woman? What was she like?

Who was this woman whose response to her baby coming to her saying that he wanted to go to the academy to learn is “say less baby” and make/buy him a academy uniform and probably instructed him to “fake it until he made it”?

Did she cross the bridge with him, fixed his brand new tie and, after kissing him in his forehead, in an accent thicker than his, reassured him by saying:

“When you’re going to change the world, don’t ask for permission”

She clearly had fate in his intelligence to send him there with only his cane, an uniform, a thought and a prayer

How much of her son is her doing? He is confident about his intelligence, sure in his capabilities as an scientist and engineer.

Was it her doing? Did she look at her very tiny boy with his twisted leg and think to herself “I’m going to encourage this passion! My baby will never doubt how smart he is even if he has none of the resources of topside!”

Were those same encouragements that backfired later as Viktor’s internalized ableism? After all, even his mother only valued his intelligence, so maybe…

Did she die before she could notice? Before she could grab him by his bony shoulders so much like her own and shake sense in to him? “My idiot boy, you are as precious to me as you always where. With or without your smarts I would love you regardless with all my heart”

Would she even say that? Or was the internalized ableism that Viktor displayed also present in his mother? Perhaps a even more explicit form of it maybe.

Was their condition genetic? Did Viktor learn to walk with a cane by copying what his mother did with hers?

Did she have a mind like his but never had the resources to chase her aspirations?

Did she want to be a scientist as well? An engineer? Perhaps a doctor even

Did she craft Viktor’s very first cane with half ass knowledge, some drift wood, blood, tears and all the love she could give since she could not afford the cane much less a doctor for her baby?

Did she know about Singed?

Did he tell her about the strange man he meet at the caves?

Viktor, does your mother know that you are creating drugs with a strange man in the fissures?

Where was your mom? Why were you all alone?

Her baby was alone, playing by himself with a tiny boat he made.

Was she at work? Did Viktor had to spend long periods of time alone as his mom was out trying to make the ends meet?

Was this job, possibly the mines, that made her prioritize encouraging his intellect instead of reaffirming to him that he is already enough? Something not out of malice but out of limited time together?

If you only see your baby every morning before work and every night after it how would you know that he is starting to believe himself broken and imperfect?

Did she get to know Singed? Did she approve of her son being his apprentice for a while? If she did what is wrong with her????

Was she like “any knowledge is good knowledge! Go and make some illegal drugs honey. Just come back home in time for dinner.” ?

Were she in another timeline, in another possibility, the Herald to Ximena’s Defender?

Is there a reality were she is the one to rise as machine infused in flesh because she expected the Talis boy to help save her son only to watch his face get plastered everywhere while her baby rotted in his shadow?

Did this version of you, mother of Viktor, become infuriated when that same Talis boy came to you with condolences in his lips and a clear broken heart with the weight of “if onlys” on his large shoulders when your baby succumbed to his illness?

Did that enrage you?

“YOU DONT GET TO MOUR MY VIKTOR! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LET HIM DIE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP HIM, MAN OF PROGRESS, BUT INSTEAD YOU LET YOUR EGO INFLATE TO THE SIZE OF A ZEPPELIN WHILE MY BABY STRUGGLED TO BREATH ! ALL IN THE NAME OF THE PROFITS OF THE CITY THAT STOLE HIS BREATHE IN THE FIRST PLACE”

Did you rip your own heart of your ribs so you couldn’t feel this heart break no more? So you could have a clear mind as you vowed that your Glorious Evolution would make damn sure that no mother from Zaun would suffer the same fate?

Would you have loved Jayce as your son in law in any other circumstance?

Who were you mother of Heralds?

What’s your name?

[sarafangirlart]

Thinking of Hephaestus’s angry speech against Ares and Aphrodite in the Odyssey

Specifically about how he claims the Aphrodite cheated bc of his disability, now one could dismiss this as him just being dramatic and trying to rationalize why his wife would treat him this way. But at the same time… we know how violently ableist Ancient Greece was, we know how ableist the Greek gods are, not just with Hera throwing Hephaestus as a baby for being lame but also the gods laughing at him bc of his limp in Iliad book 1 (it’s not specified which gods specifically tho):

Or Zeus straight us saying he’s disgusted by his limping (he also mentions how he’s covered in soot but he mentions the limping first) in Lucian’s Dialogue of the Gods:

Hephaestus obviously has a lot of internalized ableism but if what he says about Aphrodite is true… then that’s just more evidence that she was the one in the wrong imo.

[just-an-elf-with-the-socks]

In wake of my Modern AU Angbang, I thought I’d go ahead and share what my personal modern AU Mairon is like.

Is thirty-two but doesn’t look a day past twenty and he’s super proud of that

Was once an incredibly renowned jewelry designer in the high fashion industry until his eyesight began to deteriorate

Mairon is legally blind (this was me wanting to insert a tiny nod to the Eye)

Being legally blind isn’t the same as being blind; Mairon can still see, he just 20/200 vision, which means he can only see clearly about twenty feet in front of him

There wasn’t an any type of accident; Mairon has a rare genetic disorder called Retinitis Pigmentosa, causing severe vision loss beginning around age twenty-five

Mairon has a lot of internalized ableism but being with Melkor, who is also disabled, helps him come into his own about being comfortable with his disability

Mairon left home at a young age, determined to make himself known outside of a home where he had many siblings and was very much neglected due to being a “complicated” child

He has high taste and very often uses it to decorate his home or even make intricate sweaters for his dogs (knitting is a fun hobby for him)

Speaking of dogs, Mairon has three giant huskies. Their names are Draugluin, Thuri, and Minnie, who serves as his mobility aid

He really wants to be able to make jewelry professionally again, though he tries to hide it

Actually really good at playing the piano (this was how he met Melkor)

A great cook, loves to experiment, much to Melkor’s dismay (he’s just a baby that doesn’t want to try new things)

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #6674:

when people who hate a piece of media actively participate in the fandom just to hate on everything and show how "woke" they are and you know what while ive seen this in other fandoms this is a genshin submission. because im ACTIVELY tired of these mother fuckers commenting about any thing new thats happening just to spread their toxicity about the game. i dont care if your upset the new character is pale you need to stop trying to force asians to represent you. the fact that the first thought you have when you see any pale character is that "they would be better black" says a whole fucking lot about YOUR internalized racism and prejudice towards not only white people but any one thats pale and that includes asians and middle easterners who are infact poc. you need to reflect on that because with that mindset you are no better than a pale person thinking characters or people would be better white. i dont care if you think the inazuma story is boring and sucks, or that you cant comprehend that Ei was actually handles really well and you cant understand someone battling depression and just because she a fucking archon doesnt mean she cant fuck up. the ABLEISM this reeks and your lack of empathy is astounding. sit down. i dont care if you think the characters are too sexualized. this is especially worse if you only think or go after a specific nation for being sexualized. even if you did care even though mihoyo (a chinese company) sexualized its own culture it still doesnt fucking matter because its not REAL. i could understand if it was a historical film and it was changed like that but this is a fantasy world and ALL the clothes are modified/different and sexualized. sick of this argument GO OUTSIDE AND USE YOUR TIME AND ENERGY TO TALK ABOUT REAL PROBLEMS ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT A GAME THAT WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOU AND WILL COTINUE TO EXIST AS I IS NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU COULD BE SHOWING SUPPORT FOR REAL PEOPLE EXPIRENCEING REAL LIFE THREATENING PROBLEMS BUT NO! YOUR QUITE WHEN ITS A REAL FUCKING PERSON

OR YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ATTACK A REAL PERSON YOU CLAIM TO DEFEND LIKE DORIS FUCKING VOICE ACTOR WHO IS A PERSON OF COLOR AND HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CREATION OF THE FUCKING CHARACTER shut up and sit down you literal children. you arent "woke". you do more harm to this fucking community than good and its a fucking shame genshin got so big and attracted all you privileged babies who have never experienced a real problem once in your lives and that goes to any poc complaining about a fucking fantasy game that has no effect on your lives

sincerely a very tired black woman who has experienced far fucking worse than a character being pale or wearing modified clothing, a character with depression doing morally questionable acts upon her people. please learn what a real problem is.

[atticustimestwo]

do you mind sharing a bit more about your analysis of heart,,,

i'd love to!! (i assume this is about the heart critique piece i did a few months ago, but please correct me if im wrong!)

in terms of the "a critique on the treatment of hearts characterization" piece, i wanted to visually explore some frustrations i have had with how the fanbase seems to fall into some unfortunate patterns when it comes to hearts character.

frequently, i see heart infantilized - this either comes across as him being a kicked dog unable to help himself because he is too weak, a baby angel who did nothing wrong, or a feral gremlin child. i think flattening his character down to any/all of these is, for lack of a better word, a bit problematic?

; one reason being it just defeats the idea of emotions being a visceral, intense thing. heart is meant to represent emotion in its purest form; i feel woobifying him takes away from that concept because it shows having emotions as being inherently weaker or less mature. i think a lot of people kinda forget HMS aren't just tv show characters. they represent greater concepts that near everyone feels and feels uniquely - theyre more sensitive than your typical character. thats not saying treating them as characters is bad! everyone relates to them differently because they are so personal, they make them their own and i think thats really awesome!! ; but boiling them down to these really generic tropes and making heart a baby kinda defeats the idea that emotions are a real, visceral, multifaceted concept. ; another reason i think it can be problematic is that it sometimes unintentionally comes across really ableist? a lot of these 'fandom-y' tropes are already rooted in ableism in some way, which is bad on its own, but theres also the important addition that heart is frequently portrayed as blind.

ive seen people time and time again fall into stereotypes with heart that his blindness makes him weak/helpless/childish. truthfully I dont think people do this intentionally, but its still internalized ableism showing up. i recognize that a lot of the people who woobify heart tend to be on the younger side, so they dont really recognize that theyre flattening him down like that- not out of malicious ignorance, but because theyre kids who havent really had the life experience yet to grasp the full concepts of the album or realize they might be implying harmful stereotypes; that doesn't necessarily mean its okay, but i think its just them being uneducated cause theyre kids and they have yet to learn that stuff. ; all that being said, im not trying to police people on how they portray characters. im not any authority on this fandom/album by any means imaginable - im just a fan like everyone else here! like i said before, characterizing HMS is not inherently a bad thing at all ! its fun, and its what this fanbase is built on in the first place! its so great that everyone can interpret and relate to HMS so personally, i think chonny really hit it off with the concept for the album and the execution is stellar! seeing all the fanart and different interpretations of it and the characters is such a beautiful thing, no matter if its joking, lighthearted, or deep! ; at the end of the day, theres no wrong way to interpret this album, and theres no wrong way to characterize heart. more than anything that critique piece was built up frustration turned to a call to action for people to stop and think deeply for a moment about how they portray heart - to open eyes if someone might be unknowingly flattening or adding problematic ideas to their characterizations. and to just be mindful of that going forward! 💜 

[olderthannetfic]

I mean the big problem boblem is that the Dunmeshi """""fans"""""" are freaking out and acting like children because they try to convince everyone and themselves that Laios is canon autistic. The moment the author said "Didn't write an autistic character" people had a complete meltdown and then tried to psychoanalyze and play at baby's first armchair psychologist towards the author because they were mad it wasn't made or confirmed canon, just to discredit her own thoughts on her works, and her intentions and storytelling.

Idgf what headcanon you have, it isn't gonna change canon, and nobody can change what's written anyway. Everyone is going to read a story differently. It's fine, because that's what happens when you publish to an audience, especially if they're not close to you. But everyone has to admit that the reaction by these people is just batshit, just because the author didn't confirm what they wanted to hear.

You see a character as a secret flying unicorn spitting sparkles? Great.

Author says it's not that? Normal reaction: Ehh ok, but I still like that idea, so I'll keep on going.

Batshit reaction: Complete meltdowns, accusations of ableism, and trying to convince everyone that the author is wrong and that she's secretly autistic herself! That she just doesn't understand her own writing! That she's so inept at understanding her own intentions, we should completely do away with her explanations and intentions! Clearly a bunch of randos who's fave past time is bitching about the works of others should tell us the true intentions and story! Throw in some insults and threats, and of course ironically using armchair diagnosis as a weapon against someone to explain why we shouldn't listen to them. And there we go, an absolute shitshow.

I think the extra irony comes from the neurodivergent community, especially the autism community doing the armchair psychology to explain why we can't trust the author with her intentions or her writing. Feels like there's a lot of internalized ableism if you have to weaponize a (self created) diagnosis aimed at a person you've never met and don't know, and say we should listen or trust her words, because she's just too inept and uneducated to understand what she's doing or writing.

--

[the-banana-0verlord]

Photoshoot

In which Andric's life is told. Inspired from a conversation with @thehollowwriter TW: grooming, depression, suicidal thoughts, alcohol consumption, ableism(internalized), ageism(also internalized). Andric is overall a shitty person with a shitty worldview for most of it. Let me know if you want a trigger warning added

CLICK!

Andric is six years old. This is his first photoshoot. He doesn't quite understand what's going. I want to go home, he thinks. His favorite tv show is running soon. It's a season finale, and he doesn't want to miss it.

"Mom?" he tugs his mother's sleeve. "Can we go home? I'm bored."

"Not right now, hun. The photographer still wants to take a few pictures."

Little Andric looks down with a pout. He didn't like the photographer. He looked at him weird, like a predator admiring the helpless prey in it's claws before gobbling up. Sometimes, when no one else was watching, Andric saw him lick his lips hungrily. It gave him chills.

"What a pretty boy you are. Smile for the camera, will you?"

CLICK!

The next week, Andric is the star of an ad playing everywhere. All his kindergarden friends look at him in awe. The boy's torso fills with pride. He hated the photographer, but if it got him attention like that, he didn't mind.

Andric basks in his celebrity. After all, doesn't he deserve it? He is a pretty boy.

CLICK!

Andric is eight years old. He is in the hospital, watching his newborn sister cry in his mother's arms. Both she and his father sob, while the nurses coo.

"What a beautiful baby!" they all say. Andric's face tries not to betray his disgust. He disagrees. His little sister's face is all wrinkled uo with no teeth. She looks like an old, rotten potato.

An old, rotten potato couldn't be related to a pretty boy like him.

CLICK!

Andric is telve years old. His life consists of school, photo studios and meetings with his manager. Audrey, his little sister, keeps bugging him for attention. He refuses every time, before going away from a photoshoot, leaving her frustrated and teary.

He tries on a few clothes for a contract with a teen's magazine company. The photographer watches him intensely. Andric knows it's because he's pretty.

Contrary to his classmates, he has no zits, no acne. His hair is woven into shiny raven locks. His skin is smooth and his lips fill in perfect shapes. He is thin and slender. No matter if he has to starve himself to attain that. He even manifested his magic not too long ago. He is perfect. So why does he recoil everytime his manager puts is hand on his shoulder?

CLICK!

Andric is sixteen years old. He received his Night Raven College letter a few months ago. He stands in all his glory in front of the dark mirror. The whispers behind him fill his ego to the brim.

"Pomefiore!" the mirror blurts out. Ha, of course the prettiest student would get sorted into the fairest dorm.

The boy goes to join his dormmates. Yet he does not stand with them, but by them, his shine overshadowing his dormmates.

CLICK!

Andric is nineteen years old. For his fourth year, he's pursuing medicine to research cosmetics. While he studies during the day, he parties hard all night. He plays both men and women, breaking hearts and drinking away just to feel something. But he never does. So he tries again. Party, sleep, hungover, class, party. Rinse and repeat.

Then, he graduates. Despite his nightly activities, his grades are stellar. Nothing less from the perfect Andric.

CLICK!

Andric is twenty-three. He watches his parents wrinkle up and die. It's sad, really. In their final moments, they didn't even have the priviledge of beauty. Andric swears to never age, because to grow old is to decay.

Andric stands at his parent's funeral. His sister, fifteen and an orphan, is sobbing loudly. Andric does not shed a tear. Crying gives you wrinkles.

Andric sends Audrey to live with their aunt. As a legal adult, he could've taken her in, but he didn't. His home was like him, perfect, and everything that lived in it had to be perfect as well. She wasn't. So she couldn't come.

CLICK!

Andric is tenty-five. He meets Cindy, the most beautiful woman alive. She takes his breath away. Yet, she hates herself. She wishes her voice was deeper, he shoulders broader. Andric finds it ridiculous. Why change something already perfect?

Few months later, Andric and Cindy recite their vows. It was only natural for the fairest of each gender to get together.

Neither of them smile in their wedding pictures. Smiling gives you wrinkles.

CLICK!

Andric is twenty-eight, and is now growing anxious. His contracts keep getting denied in favor of younger models. He sends every application he can, until one finally calls him back.

He drives to the studio giddily. He is still has worth. He's still pretty. He wasn't prepared for what was to come.

In the middle of a shoot, a defective projector falls on his leg. He's rushed to the hospital, and a sense of dread fills his stomach.

CLICK!

Andric is only tenty-nine, but his life is already over.

His broken leg healed, but the nerve damage was so bad he can'T walk without a cane to support him. He stays in bed all day, even when he gets hungry. Why eat? It won't repair his leg.

Cindy tries her best to cheer him up, to get him out of the house. Nothing works. Defeated, she demands a divorce.

Andric has nothing. No wife, no beauty, no money, no worth. No one will make a contract with a disabled man. No one will put a man using a cane on the cover of a magazine.

Andric is only twenty-nine, but he wishes he was dead.

CLICK!

Andric is thirty years old. He hasn't left his home in a year. A friend from his medicine internship comes to visit him. Compared to Andric, who is a dead man walking, this friend is successful. He is a famed doctor teaching at an even more famed university.

The man comes with a suggestion. Andric already knows basic medicine. He could pick up the practice again, and enter his friend's univeristy. He could get a doctorate. Andric gives it a thought, and finally accepts. It's not like he has anything else to do.

CLICK!

Andric is thirty-six years old. His studies are finished and he gets his certificate and permit to practice medicine. He's still not happy, but he did something of his life.

Night Raven College offers him a place as school nurse. He accepts and moves in.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-five years old. His life is stable. He takes his job seriously and cares for his students. The years softened him up, even if he's still searching for something to fill the void that empties his heart.

He watches the orientation ceremony, and notices a boy. He looks exactly like his sister, he realizes. That day, he learns that he has two nephews he never bothered to ask about.

Andric goes back to his office and grabs a drink. Maybe it's finally time to apologise to his sister and reconnect with his family.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-six years old. It's his tenth year at NRC. This time, a girl shows up at orientation. She's lost, and distressed. Andric pities her.

A month or two later, she shows up at the infirmary, injured. An overblot happened, apparently. He treats her, like he does with everyone else.

Then she comes back again. Over and over again, with even more concerning wounds. He could see the scars settling in on her skin.

Andric doesn't know when or why he became attached to her. Maybe she reminded him of the person he could've been when he was younger, strong in the face of hardships. Maybe she just made him think of a wet kitten in a cardboard box who needed a home. He'll probably never know.

Either way, he ends up with adoption papers in his hands.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-seven years old. He is not a perfect pretty boy anymore. Maybe he never was. He is wrinkled and cannot see without glasses. Strangely, it doesn't bother him that much.

His work as a model is long gone. He's a doctor now, and it fulfills him more than standing in front of a camera ever did. He donates to campaigns who promote anti-objectification and grooming of children in the entertainment industry. He doesn't want anyone to be like he was.

He apologized to his sister. She doesn't forgive him, but he understands he can't undo all the pain he caused in years in only a short span of time. He's just thankful she lets him see his nephews and lets his daughter be a part of their lives.

Speaking of his daughter, she isn't lost anymore either. She found a place in this world so strange to her. You almost don't notice the scars when she smiles.

He also got some news from Cindy, or rather Corey. During the years after the divorce, Corey found out he was happier as man. Andric and him go out for dinner sometimes. Extinguished flames seemingly can burn again.

Finally, Andric doesn't flinch at the flash of a camera anymore. He also eats healthily, skipping no meal. He walks with his cane openly and proudly.

Andric is forty-seven. And he feels alive at last.

☀☀☀

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