#then that stupid necklace gave me delusional hope that maybe just maybe he did still have feelings for me

[cerberin]

someone sent me a random package and i ended up crying all day about it

[sundrops-crown]

Fairy Tales

Summary: A drabble surrounding Flynn and Stalyan's relationship and how he dropped the question.

A/N: I really think Stalyan’s and Flynn’s relationship is interesting, and I wanted to test the waters by exploring their interactions as this is my first Tangled fic. Brief abuse mentions.

Flynn often thought he loved her. Sometimes he did not. It didn't really matter though because what could a guy like him really hope for? Not only was Stalyan beautiful, but she was a thief. Like him. And in their own little world, they were perfect for each other.

"Are you thinking this through? 'Cause I don't think you're thinking this through."

Flynn dodged as the guard swung at his head.

"You obviously are a very strong man, but you gotta ask yourself, is this really what the king would want?"

Another dodge.

"And do you really want to waste your energy on someone as nimble and witty as moi?"

As it became increasingly apparent his banter wasn't getting him anywhere, Flynn looked for the next best option. He kicked up the stick that had been lying near his foot and in a swift motion, he threw it at Stalyan who grabbed it in midair and whacked the guard over the head.

"Hey, angry! Over here," Stalyan yelled with her palms cuffed around her mouth.

The guard rushed toward her as she managed to leap off the wall and into the bushes, pulling Flynn with her.

They descended into the berry bushes surrounding the walls of Corona, laughing.

"Oh man, we are good!" He brushed the brambles off his legs and leaped out of the shrubbery.

"The stupid look on his face was priceless!"

Flynn grinned and helped Stalyan to her feet.

They were around Corona which was starkly different than his usual setting, but she told him to run away with her, so he did.

Flynn didn't have anybody who would miss him if he left Vardaros anyway. Well.. maybe Lance would, but he lost contact with him ages ago.

He stood up and held out a hand for Stalyan, who took it, smiling slyly.

"Well Rider, that was pretty quick thinking on your part."

"Beauty and Brains, am I right," Flynn said while flashing what he hoped would be a winning smile.

At first Flynn thought running away with Stalyan would just be them going on dates and occasionally making stiff old royals mad, but he quickly realized she was an excellent partner at all things. Read: stealing.

This particular day they had decided to snag jewelry that had just happened to be laying around in a tent set up with merchandise for the lost princess's birthday. Flynn honestly had never really cared much for the event, but the type of opportunities it opened up? Yeah, that was something to look forward to.

Stalyan looked up at the starry night sky around them. The stars twinkled in her eyes as she glanced at him and gave him a look.

"You know, Flynn, I've always wanted to go on a date under stars."

She held up the stolen items and watched them gleam in the night.

"I bet we could sell these for a pretty penny."

See, most people would feel guilty for selling something that wasn't theirs. And Flynn kinda felt guilty too. Key word "kinda." But Stalyan had convinced him his guilt was unwarranted, so he allowed himself to follow her.

Something he had learned very early on in their relationship was that when Stallion said something it usually wasn't best to argue. They were both headstrong and very opinionated which he supposed probably wasn't the best match.

Flynn put his arm around her shoulders and took the commemorative necklaces. They were emblazoned with a picture of the lost princess as a baby surrounded by lanterns.

"I bet we could but to who? Everyone here already has something to celebrate the day."

His eyes trailed over to the groups of families huddled anxiously around a fire. Most were unable to go inside the walls for whatever reason but some chose to stay outside to avoid the crowd.

"You know what, I think I may have the perfect idea."

***

They were laying down on a blanket near the edge of town, watching the night sky. In the lake in front of them, couples rowed by in boats, ready to watch the lanterns pass. He breathed in the beauty of the midnight color the sky had taken on and the chilly air that filled his lungs. He was about to open his mouth to comment on the scenery, but one look at Stalyan, and he promptly closed it.

Her gaze was trained on the couples in the river, and she looked... jealous? He knew Stalyan to be petty at times or to get angry when he would mess up or say something wrong. Heck, his back still stung from the last time he dropped her powder blush. But Stalyan being jealous? Now that was new. She usually had everything she wanted at her fingertips with her being the Barron’s daughter and all.

Stalyan looked directly at him and gave him a tight lipped smile.

"Flynn, when are you going to ask me to marry you?"

In that instant his mouth ran dry, and he was afraid if he opened his mouth no words would come out.

It's not that he didn't love her. He'd even be lying if he said the thought of proposing hadn't crossed his mind from time to time.

But he was so young. And even though he knew it was stupid, knew she would laugh at him if she knew, he wanted something like what was in the books he read.

In those days at the orphanage with Lance, where they would choose random books of the shelf to read, he would lose himself in all sorts of novels. One of his favorites (besides The Tales of Flynnagian Rider of course) were the fairy tales. Ones where the prince and the princess found each other and instantly fell in love. Where they went on quests and adventures together.

Where the prince wasn't scared of the princess.

He wanted something like that. And Stalyan, as beautiful as she was, was not that.

But maybe he was being delusional. He had her. And his mind chided him to remember that without her he had nothing. And if he lost her, he truly would have no one.

Flynn swallowed down the fear in his throat and grabbed her hands.

She began to grin, and he noticed how her eyes took on that familiar look they did when she was happy. Stalyan stood up while he kneeled in front of her and pulled out a ring he stole earlier (and was hoping to sell) from his pocket.

"You read my mind. Stalyan, will you marry me?"

She laughed. "Finally Rider. Of course I'll marry you."

His racing thoughts were interrupted when he felt her mouth on his.

When they broke for air, she looked at him with so much feeling and importance that he blushed. Maybe they would be alright after all. Fairy tales were just make believe anyway.

inspired by the song The Look by Metronomy

[lore-a-lie]

Chapter 2: I Spit on Your Grave Expectations

Daily Life

Kaede wasn’t sure what to expect after that argument, but when she got to the dining hall the next day after washing the crust from her face and the redness from her eyes it was clear things had only gotten worse. Kaito was yelling at Angie about something and their group of friends was visibly split in two, the sets standing on opposite sides of the hall, but that wasn’t what concerned her the most. Kibo was.

He was pink now. Every bit of his previous gentle cyan lighting was gone, leaving only the nearly toxic looking magenta glow in its place. Even the glare he gave her was an intense pink rather than his previous desaturated blue, which shook her for reasons she couldn’t explain beyond feeling “wrong”.

And as around his neck, catching the light despite the shadows there, was Miu’s layered necklace he salvaged the night before, clean and repaired, she didn’t need to wonder why he did. That was a fair enough warning for what this was about.

Kaede wasn’t a good enough leader for them so Angie wanted to take over her responsibilities.

And had Miu not asked this of me I might have been fine with going along with that. But she did, as our friend, so I can’t give up quite yet. Right? Or did Miu just make another mistake putting her faith in me?

The way the room was divided the two new “groups” was pretty clear. Those in support of Angie’s new leadership were Kibo, Tenko, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Gonta. Her friends that wanted to keep supporting Kaede’s own attempts to protect them were Kokichi, Kiyo, and Kaito’s trio of him, Ryoma, and Maki. (Little wonder this would happen the day I was the last to arrive huh? Not that I’d blame anyone here.)

“Kaito, please calm down! Let’s just try to talk about this okay? “This” is about how I’ve been leading everyone so far right? Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Atua doesn’t believe you’ve been doing a good job at keeping everyone safe. You are good at bringing us together, but only in ways that have better enabled us to turn on each other. He doesn’t feel only Monokuma’s motives are at fault for that, as you haven’t tried limiting the means for our betrayals. And so He told me Angie should be the one to lead us now, and to make rules to help protect everyone here! We can’t keep hoping for your dangerous dream of going back outside Kaede, we’ve lost enough of us.”

“And that’s why I’m calling bullshit! How long do you honestly think we could stay here?! Have you seen where our food’s been coming from? Any medical facilities, or even a goddamn nurse’s office?! We can’t trust anything here to keep us alive in the long term you idiot!” Kaito was still furious, for good reason.

He should know more about the dangers of being stuck somewhere without any means of protecting or repairing the resources everyone will be relying on than anyone else here, given his talent and experience. And yet Angie and her supporters kept completely ignoring his warnings and concerns.

“But Atua says it’s safe here, and it’s not like we have any better options. Without a safer alternative it’s plain to see this is the best course of action we can be taking, isn’t it?” (No it isn’t. I need to step in.)

“Tsumugi weren’t you the one to warn me to be wary of cults and con artists? Because it’s sounding like you should be taking your own advice right now you know, you can’t just pretend Kaito’s wrong here.”

“How could she? She and Angie were both Con Artists already aren’t they?” Kokichi mocked, looking for all to see like a cat playing with a canary as both girls glared at him for the pun. (But he’s not really okay with what’s happening here is he? This is too dangerous to allow things to keep going on for long, right?)

“Who are you calling a cult?! We are-” Tenko’s yelling was cut off by a familiar chorus of “Rise and Shine, Ursine”, minus the loudest and deepest voice in their tune. The set of three cubs and their father stood in the middle of the room.

“Hello~ my children! My, my, aren’t you all just chomping at the bit today? At least you’ve got a lot of energy for your exploring later, haven’t you?” The three little cubs kept looking between themselves as their father talked, as if communicating amongst each other while he was distracted talking to the class. “And boy do I have some presents for you~ A wonderful set of rewards for you all surviving so far, won’t that be fun? Come on kids, show them their fantabulous new prizes!”

“No.” The monotone syllable got everyone’s attention, all eyes on the half green bear and his siblings.

“... What? Sorry, must have some stuffing in my belly button, it sounded like you said-”

“Not happening pops. Why should we be listenin’ to ya anymore huh?”

“What do you think you’re playing at kiddo?” Monokuma wasn’t amused by his tiger-striped son’s reply.

“W-we talked about things after the last trial! W-we keep dying and no one cares at all but us! S-so… So we won’t do this anymore! We have the Exisals, so we’ll just do things our way from now on daddy!”

“Though this all bein’ said we prolly should hand out these little doohickies shouldn’t we? But let’s try ta change things up! No more o’ this givin’ you the things and then sit back while you bumbling bastards try to sort their puzzles out business! Each o’ us will keep the keys we got as youse guys figure out where to you’ll need to take us. Will we be helpful? Annoying? Try to lead you astray? Who fuckin’ gives a damn!”

“... This is fine. I mean it’s good you kids are taking some initiative right? This is a good thing for a father to witness, this isn’t a cute lil’ coup d'etat by my Ultimate Lil’ Monokubs or anything, nope not at all.”  

Despite saying that Monokuma was somewhat dazed as he mumbled something about going back home to his cubs who do still like him, sounding somewhat delusional given they’re all here. As he wandered off the pink cub- Monophanie, took out three items to pass out to her remaining brothers. She kept the literal pixelated key for herself, Monosuke was given the ninja scroll, leaving Monodam with the golden hammer. But after doing this the cubs looked at a loss over what they were meant to do next.

“So… Now, what Monosuke? Do we just split up?”

“Uhh… Yeah, sure why not? I don’t wanna to spend any more time with a certain murderer I could mention anyways.” Monosuke gave Monodam a pointed glare at that, but Monophanie’s flailing about trying to deny what he did was more of a response than Monodam’s own stoic stare.

“Then-Let’s-All-Get-Along-With-The-Bastards! Let’s-All-Be-Friends-Now, No-Need-For-Killing-Games!”

“WHAT?! Not a fuckin’ chance, the Killing Game’s the most fun we’ve had! Why should we give it up?”

“I don’t know, making friends could be nice, and no more gross gory bodies to deal with. Let’s give it a try at least, we can always change our minds later right?”

“Fuck that! You two can go play house, or class, or whateva the fuck this shit is but I’m out. If any of yous guys want to use my item I’ll be outside to see if ya can get me ta put it where it needs to go, capisce?” And with that, the bespectacled bear squeakily stormed out the door to the porch as the humans watching things unfold remained speechless. (I mean this is too stupid for words right now isn’t it???)

Angie was the first to break the silence as Monophanie and Monodam kept looking between themselves, their items, and everyone else. “Well we already made ourselves into two groups so this works out well, doesn’t it? Praise be to Atua and his foresight of your own changes of heart!”

“What’s an Atua?” (An excellent question, but not one you should ever ask bear. You’ll see.)

“A term stemming from Polynesian cultures that can mean “power” in a more supernatural sense, like “mana” which is quite different from the apparently common video game concept of the same name. However this typically refers to gods or spirits, in this case specifically for a presumably monotheistic entity that-”

“Atua is Atua silly! He’s all knowing and carefully watches over everyone, like a loving father!” Kiyo did not appreciate being cut off mid-lecture by Angie’s attempt to recruit another member to her cause, but he did at least capture Monodam’s attention.

“Apparently common”? Has he not played any games with it before? That’s weird. I wonder if this means Himiko told him about that before she… When they talked before the show. She knew a lot about that sort of thing, so it might have been what helped her and Angie bond too.

“Angie told Gonta Atua was like Grandma, Atua change?”

“Yup-yup! Atua changes to whatever He feels will help those He cares for best after all!”

“That-Sounds-Rather-Unreliable. And-Convenient-If-You-Are-Making-Him-Up, To-Claim-He-Is-Where Ever-You-Say-He-Is. How-”

“It’s is not the place of mortals to question Him or His divine grace you know?” (And so hails the return of Angie’s scary face, oh joy. If there is a God why do I need to be the one to put up with this right now?)

“No-I-Did-Not. But-Father-Claimed-He-Was-Our-God-Too-And-Look-At-Him-Now. We-Don’t-Need-Yours, Right-Monophanie?”

“Hmm, but Daddy was lying about that wasn’t he? Maybe this “God” is different. Why not give it a try?”

“I-Do-Not-Want-To. It-Doesn’t-Seem-To-Be-Helping-Others-To-Get-Along, Just-Making-Them-Fight.”

“Religion has been known to do both, faith can be quite the terrifying thing when taken to extremes. Particularly those that leave no room for compromise or allow themselves to mix with their neighbors. Among many pantheons, it’s common to find deities that in fact originated somewhere else and became incorporated over time to help pacify and better unite with other cultures.” (Nice trivia Kiyo, but no one cares.)

“Why not you come with us then Monodam, while Monophanie can go with Angie’s? Are you going to tell us where your item belongs? I don’t think I’ve seen anything for it before.”

“I-Don’t-Think-”

“I like that plan! Let’s go!”

Monophanie was quick to leave with Angie’s cult, which upset the remaining bear. If his goal was staying as a group he was proving pretty bad at it with how eager his siblings were to avoid him, given his involvement with Monokid’s death and their own personalities. But seeing Kaede’s expectant face he lit back up again, seeing them as other people he could try to “get along with” instead of his siblings.

“That’s-Because-You-Haven’t-Yet! It-Is-Up-Stairs-With-The-New-Labs, I-Will-Show-You!”

Alas, he forgot the stairs he was thinking of were still locked behind the supposed mural of the pixelated door that required Monophanie’s key to open, so Kaede had to hurry after Angie to see about that first.

After some negotiations between the two it was agreed that since the Magic Key had the most obvious use and Monodam’s item would be used in the area it unlocked Angie’s group would be headed outside to solve Monosuke’s Ninja Scroll puzzle instead.

Monophanie was rather relieved this would mean she wouldn’t need to go to the fourth floor yet and instead would get her more time alone with Monosuke, which in hindsight should have been a warning.

Following Monodam soon proved to be a mistake. Not an avoidable one, and not one that was his fault in particular, but it felt like a mistake nonetheless. The fourth floor lived up to the creepier associations with a number a bit too well in Kaede’s opinion. And that’s only speaking from the top of the stairs, they hadn’t even been to any rooms yet. (AND I DON’T WANT TO. AT ALL. WHY IS IT SO SPOOKY?! ... Kiyo’s lab is here isn’t it? It’s gotta be here with this atmosphere and everything, it suits him way too well. Welp.)

Kiyo apparently assumed the same thing as he gravitated to a set of traditional shoji style doors, unlike all the others in the school. Kokichi quickly followed after him while Kaito stayed where he was, sweating and trying not to look at anything around him.

Ryoma was rather amused by this as he tried leading his friend down the halls but given the scream that could not have been from Maki and Kaito dashing back and practically flying back down the stairs that was clearly a lost cause. It didn’t stop an annoyed Maki from following after him to literally drag him back by the arm though, as if in payback for all the times he practically did the same thing for her.

“C’mon Maki Roll, we don’t need this many people here right?! I can go see about the Ninja Scroll or something-” Kaito tried to argue, but she was still having none of his excuses.

“Not a chance. I thought a “manly” guy like you is supposed to be brave, aren’t you?”

“W-well… I mean… T-that’s why it’s good for you and Ryoma to do this alone! It’s-”

“Better for you to face your cowardice here then. You are the only one with a problem, idiot.” Maki challenged with an air of finality that seemed to shut Kaito up for the most part. Minus some nervous keening noises Kaede could hear as he was being pulled away.

Kaede chose not to draw attention to herself and how she proved he really wasn’t the "only one with a problem" and instead made her way with Monodam down the hall to a set of three doors.

She opened the first to see what was in it, only to let out a shriek of her own and slam it shut again upon seeing what she would swear was a familiar looking bear-shaped ghost floating inside. As Monodam grabbed her hand and made a dash back to the anthropology lab she wasn't the only one.

Had she not been so frazzled by everything Kaede probably would have found the confused looks on Kokichi and Kiyo’s faces hilarious, at least before Kokichi started to laugh at her own expression instead.

“... Might I inquire to what exactly that was about? If you’ll pardon my use of the phrase, you look like you’ve seen a gho-” Kiyo tried to ask, choosing to have marginally more tact than the local liar. If only his choice of words had been better.

“Don’t. Say it. Something was in one of those side rooms, honest!” Kaede tried to explain as convincingly as she could, but with everything going on and only the furiously nodding Monodam in her defense that wasn't saying much.

“Indeed, It-Was-Monotaro! But-Different-Than-He-Used-To-Be!”

“ Please tell me- you’re trying to say- you think you say some ghost- of a robotic teddy bear , Kaede. Because this is fucking priceless, you should see your face right now!” Kokichi was barely able to pause his laughter enough to speak, despite the scolding side look Kiyo was giving him for his teasing. (Don’t you fucking pretend I don’t see you smirking under that mask Kiyo! You’re enjoying this too aren’t you?!)

“S-shut up! You can go look for yourself then if you don’t believe me.”

“And leave you and Kiyo in his spooooky lab alone together? Ooookie-dokie! You two have fun~” (... Well fuck. Why couldn’t it be a normal museum? I can handle those! Everything here feels wrong. How many stories does this lab even have?!... Is this just for a visual pun?)

“I hardly see what you’re talking about, the setup they have here is magnificent. I haven’t the foggiest idea where on earth they could have found some of these works, I never expected I’d be able to so much as see them much less be in their presence during my lifetime.” (THAT PROVES IT’S CREEPY DAMNIT!)

As Kokichi stepped out to investigate Kaede’s “ghost bear” it was almost funny to see Kiyo flit about the room like he was a kid in a candy store. Almost. Though hearing him ramble about how there was a book with “spells” written by the sole survivor of a village, fueled by the fury behind the girl’s pen as she wrote, the incredibly heavy dog statue and cage meant for a séance from it, and a genuine katana did nothing to ease Kaede’s nerves at all. Not that he noticed in his sheer delight at everything around him.

Kokichi really should have expected to find her curled up into a ball like this, sitting on one of the seats near the bookshelves with her head on her knees, when he got back.

“Uhh, Kiyo I think you broke her. Great, now who’s gonna save us from Angie’s crazy cultists?! They even have Kirumi, we can’t compete with that! All we have is an idiot and scary people! WE’RE DOOOOMED!” Kokichi faux-sobbed with his crocodile tears again as Kiyo sighed.

“Technically we do also have one of the less incompetent and supposedly benevolent of Monokuma’s progeny, but you make a fair assessment. They also have Gonta and Tenko among them, which is also concerning as both are as strong as they are gullible I fear. Unless Kaede is back with us now of course?”

“Darn you all to heck, you horrible, horrible people” Came Kaede’s deadpanned reply, muffled by her body.

“Nope! Still broken, she can’t even curse now.”

“... Hmm, I see. Very well then, speaking of curses-” Kiyo’s words certainly got Kaede back on her feet.

“NO! NO MORE CURSES. I HEARD ENOUGH TODAY.” Too bad Kaede’s pointer finger in his face didn’t have its intended effect, as he was still more amused than anything else. She chalked it up to the height thing.

“There, that appears to have done the trick. My apologies for not seeing sooner how distressed you were becoming, I got rather overzealous you could say.” (Or you could say you were a dick, you jerk!)

“That-Is-Good-” Monodam caught the enraged glare Kaede gave him and backpedaled. “I-Mean-Not-Being-Insensitive-To-Your-Friends, That-Is-Bad. But-That-Enjoying-Your-Lab-Is-Good! Each-Was-Tailor-Made-For-You-Bastards-After-All.”

“Is that more or less creepy to hear than everything else here?” (LESS . INFINITELY LESS. Er-waitaminute.)

That did explain the selection of music in her own lab, any songs she saw that Kaede didn’t immediately recognize she still had a vague knowledge of. Like she heard of it and just hadn’t listened to them yet.

And it did indicate they were all in this place for a specific reason, to be singled out like this. But not why or what the reasoning behind this could be for. (I mean even if it looks like a prison school only maybe a handful of us seem like we’d actually belong in one, and if Kirumi’s the prime minister in all but title she shouldn’t fit. Unless she was used as a scapegoat for something? Would she remember that?)

“If such efforts were made to study and accommodate us why were we made to kill each other then? This is rather extreme for a mere social experiment, wouldn’t you say?” Kiyo asked, looking over some of his displays as he did.

“I-Can’t-Tell-You-That. Sorry. I-Could-Tell-You-Other-Things-But-Only-For-The-Killing-Game-Itself, Not Where-You-Bastards-Are. And-As-The-Killings-Should-End-Now-That-Doesn’t-Matter-Anymore.”

“I dunno~ If you have a motive for us later it could make you Monokuma wannabes at least a little useful. Might make us like you a little bit. So spill it, any other “special rules” we didn’t know about?” Kokichi said, putting the bear in something between a hold and a hug.

“Umm… There-Is-The-Tiebreaker-Rule? If-Multiple-People-Tie-For-Having-The-Most-Votes-And-The- Blackened-Is-One-Of-Them-Then-It-Counts-And-The-Spotless-Would-Be-Safe-From-Execution. It-Even- Works-With-Everyone-Only-Having-One-Vote, So-If-You-All-Agreed-To-Vote-For-Yourselves-You’d-Win!”

“I hardly believe the blackened would ever allow things to turn out in such a way. They’d simply need to lie and vote for anyone else to ensure their own survival would be guaranteed, yes?”

Monodam began bashfully poking his paws together at Kiyo's point, almost like he thought his way would have really worked. He also got a bit nervous when Kokichi brought up another motive appearing, so even without their father’s “game�� apparently his cubs have something in store for them all later anyway.

When Kaede was feeling marginally better she made another attempt at looking for where Monodam’s hammer was meant to be used. Kokichi confirmed the three side doors were empty, denying seeing any ghosts or ghouls with a snicker, as he and Kiyo chose to keep her company. (To see me cry again?! Jerks.)

Monodam was trying to not so subtly lead them back towards the three doors, but instead the group went to see about Kaito’s group in the last room. Well, Kiyo and Kokichi did, as Kaede turned around and ran right back to Monodam upon seeing the blood-red hallway, much to Kokichi’s annoyance.

“Seriously Kaede?! Come on you scaredy cat get back here, we have work to do!” Kokichi called after her.

“We hardly need her for this. As Monodam is indicating this isn’t where his item needs to go why don’t we leave that to her for now? I strongly doubt this will be getting any easier on her mind quite yet.”

“It’s the principle of it! Why should we go somewhere when our “leader” won’t?! Kaede come baaack~”

Kiyo ignored Kokichi’s attempt to drag Kaede back and briefly continued along the hallway that supposedly Kaito was capable of going through, before walking back looking like he found something particularly amusing in the hallway ahead. Kaede didn’t have too long to wonder what sort of horrible thing this was foreshadowing as Kokichi pushed her onwards like she was stubborn packhorse stuck by a river.

The series of Jizo statues, decapitated and otherwise, certainly explained what Kiyo thought was so damn funny, but Kokichi and Kaede were less appreciative of the “joke” as the push shifted into more of a cling. As she tried going back again, Kokichi spun on his heel with the force behind her, but shifted their momentum to shoving her forwards instead. While the two made their mad sprint past the 8 figures Kiyo calmy trailed behind them, pausing to examine the statues and the Torii sitting across the way.

Kaede nearly ran into Kaito in her run to get anywhere but the eerie rotting red hallways around her, who she could not be more grateful to see. Since she was still soon followed by Kokichi Kaito wouldn’t be able to say the same, but since he finally got the hug he asked for before he was certainly not complaining.

“Hey there, you okay?” (NO. I have never been good at test of courage type stuff! I never want to come here again. EVER. At least the hallway here looks normal again? Is that another lab? Are we done yet?!)

As that isn’t best to admit Kaede tried salvaging what she could of this situation. “Y-yeah, it’s just a bit too… Spooky for me, you know? With… The gross wallpaper, and stuff on the ceiling, and the lighting-”

“And Kiyo with his sadistic horror fetish!” Kokichi’s voice chimed in behind her.

“And Kiyo with his- Hey wait no, you stay out of this! You made me go through there!”

“Right into Kaito’s waiting arms! You better not let Maki catch the two of you like this~”

“That could prove most troublesome, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned". And who knows what a slighted assassin may do should her fickle feelings sour.” (Do you really have to say stuff like that here Kiyo?!... Of course you do, stupid question. Please don’t kill me Maki.)

“That’s not funny you two, knock it off!” Kaito scolded, giving both of the boys a firm look as if they all didn’t know that push come to shove either could leave him a terrified mess. “You’re here for Angie’s lab right? It’s open and everything so get move on with it. Though unlike the others this one does have locks, which might cause issues later. No idea where the keys for it are yet since we couldn’t find any inside.”

The high ceilings were weird to see be continued from the hallways around it, but the contrasting tone of the normal white fluorescent lighting was a welcome relief. At least Angie wouldn’t need to worry about art supplies or areas for her work to dry anymore, she could even probably hang stuff from the exposed beams if she had to free up floor space.

Having two different types of doors was another odd detail, considering both in Kiyo’s lab matched. But not all of the light fixtures matched either so maybe this was a preference of Angie’s, as she wasn’t here to give them any input beyond what could be seen. No Flashback Lights were in here at least, just Maki and Ryoma looking around the large workspace.

… Which meant it was likely for the best to leave and go see what Monodam was so intent on. Oh, joy.

Kaede managed to get through the disturbing trek faster this time, at a brisk walk while trying not to look around herself too much, but she had stubbed her foot on one of the Jizo heads lying on the floor in her hurry. (And now we know those things are heavy, even though they’re round it barely budged. OWWW!)

Kaito at least was with her this time, which made for much more pleasant company as he wasn’t faring much better than she was as far as nerves were concerned in these hopefully not-so-haunted hallways. She thought it for the best to not point out other rooms on this floor might not be able to have the title. It was getting easier to get used to this now at least, which was little comfort but a comfort nonetheless.

Monodam was sitting on the floor pulling at his feet with his paws until he saw them return, quick to get to his feet and pull them towards the painted glass at the end of the hallway. He nearly threw his hammer at them trying to “hint” to them how exactly they were meant to solve this “riddle”.

Pushy little brat isn’t he? Cuter than the yellow one at least, since he is trying to make himself useful. Sibling murder notwithstanding of course.

Kaito did what he wanted though, and through the shattered glass another hallway could be seen. Still a creepy hallway in its own way, but this one looked more high tech. Tubes and exposed stainless steel floors almost feeling like they’d be better suited to a spaceship than a school.

The door they found at the end had a light with the words “Computer Room” above it, and when they approached the unusual locks sprang to life to open for them. (Must be motion activated or something then, weird to see here.)

This room was massive, nearly if not as big as the labs on this floor were already, and had it not been called the “Computer Room” already Kaede wouldn’t have known what to make of the large cube in the center of the space, surrounded by monitors. (Right, technically computers are those tower things, not the screens aren’t they? But I’ve never seen one this big! I didn’t even know cables came in that size.)

Kaito let out a low whistle as he took everything in and Monodam explained this was for the latest incarnation of the “Neo-World Program”, a simulated world people could enter if they wanted to. (Miu probably would have had a field day with this thing if she were here… But then that could have just lead to her trying to kill someone anyway, couldn’t it? In a world where she’d know the rules better than us.)

But of more of their direct concern was the treasure chest to the left of it. One that looked just like the one with the previous Flashback Light the time before. Kaede made a beeline for it and took the precious clue to what was going on with her and her friends, putting it in her backpack for safe keeping.

She told Kaito to gather everyone on this floor and meet up later as she headed to find Angie’s group.

Best to have everyone regroup in the Dining Hall to see what we’ll be doing with this. It’s as good a time as any to see what they’ve found so far too.

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[shakespearedidnothavecumsh0ts]

Freaky Monday

Maleo Week Day 3 // July 18th → Body Swap This is part one of  a two part fic! It’s a collab with @lilshitwayne for the #maleoweek. 

Once again, Malia was running late. Nothing seemed to go right for her. Her dog took forever to return when she let him out, her car broke down and despite rushing out of the house with her wet hair in just a braid, her uber driver manage to drop her three blocks away and she had to walk to the office. Her asshole boss was going to murder her.

“Sorry I’m late,” Malia sighed stepping into her boss’ office.

He held up a finger, signaling her to be quiet before he trailed off in Mandarin. That’s right, they were expecting ambassadors from the Chinese branch of the company later that day and everyone knew Theo Raeken was even more of a dick when he was expecting foreign visitors. Great. She was twice screwed.

Theo hung up and shot her a pointed look, raising his brows. He was pissed.

“Why are you late THIS time?” he asked with a scoff.

“Do you really want to know?”

“No exactly, I’m more concerned as to why you look like a wet dog.”

“My-”

“I don’t care. Look Melanie-”

“Malia,”

“Melinda, we have important visitors coming here later,” he sighed. “I trust all your work has been completed?”

“I sent you the email last night sir.”

“Right,” Theo chuckled before reaching into his wallet. “In that case, take the company card and go to the salon around the corner. I can’t have you looking like a mess in front of my potential investors.”

“Wow, want me to get a new dress too?” Malia scoffed rolling her eyes.

“Actually, I took the initiative and had one made for you. I estimated the measurements if that’s okay.”

“No problem sir.”

“Good, now get going.”

Malia scoffed as she eyed the dress on the hanger. She was all for looking for the part and making their guests feel comfortable, but judging from the large split on the side of the dress, she would probably be less than comfortable.

Sighing, she shimmied into the dress and let out a swear at how tight it was.

“Perfect fit Matilda,” Theo had said when she’d walked into his office.

“It’s Malia. And the dress is actually a bit snug.”

“That’s the style,” he smirked.

“I’m sure it is,” Malia replied, sneering when Theo turned his back.

She soon found out that it was also damn near impossible to sit in the dress. She had to wonder if Theo had made this tight on purpose or if her friends were right in their campaign to get her to wear more form fitting clothing.

It didn’t seem to matter as all Theo seemed to require of her was to smile and look pretty whilst he greeted his associates. This fact coupled with her intensive knowledge about his schedule and preferences made her wonder why he didn’t just marry her instead. She cleaned up most of his messes anyway.

She’d zoned out most of what he was saying because of how insufferable he was but suddenly became alert when he shaked his head profusely and chuckled before uttering something in Mandarin.

“I’m sorry did you say something?” Malia asked politely.

“Mrs Lee just asked if you were my wife,” Theo chuckled.

“If only he could be so lucky,” Malia scoffed.

“He would be,” Mrs Lee replied, shocking Malia. She had no idea the elderly woman could speak English.

“Well luckily for us both, I’m just his personal assistant,” Malia smiled.

“Malia, why don’t you show Mrs Lee around?” Theo asked.

“It would be my pleasure,” Malia smiled, genuinely this time before guiding the older woman on a tour of the office.

Mrs Lee went on about how beautiful Malia was before handing her a beautiful jade necklace. It looked ancient and had to have been centuries old.

“I- I can’t accept this,” Malia gaped.

��Nonsense dear.”

“It’s beautiful and-”

“Would bring out your eyes. Please accept it or I’ll be deeply offended.”

“Well…. I wouldn’t want that.” Malia replied with a small smile before putting the necklace on.

“See? Beautiful”

"Thank you,” Malia sighed, nodding politely.

~*~

Malia stared at the email on her phone for the longest while. The offer seemed really tempting, always had. Even more so after the day she had. Theo seemed to have no use for her other than to look pretty and smile. She was wasting her talents. She needed a new job indeed.

They had emailed her back. It wasn’t better than the promotion she had envisioned on the Alpha Industries, but it was better than being stuck as Theo’s PA forever. The catch? She had to be there in ten minutes, and she still had one more hour before her expedient ended.

Taking a deep breath and resolving to be brave and quick, Malia walked to Mr. Raeken’s office and knocked.

Malia sighed after getting the go ahead to enter. She had no idea what to tell Mr Raeken, but decided that she was well deserving of a day off.

“Nice necklace,” she scoffed, hoping to dissipate some of her nerves.

“Malia, hi…” he looked up with a smile and for a second - just a tiny second, okay - she melted in her heels.

“Mr. Raeken, I-” she bit her lip, maybe she shouldn’t tell him about the interview, maybe “I’m not feeling very well, may I go home earlier?” Malia lied.

“Oh?” Theo asked with a raised brow.

He wouldn’t object to her leaving because lord knows the girl worked too hard. But of course, the email he received from his friend gloating about possibly poaching his assistant made him believe otherwise.

“Yeah, it’s- it’s the time of the month and I’d really like to lie down” Malia fidgeted under his glare. She knew just from the way he was looking at her that there was no way he would let her go. She was hoping the overshare would make him uncomfortable enough to dismiss her earlier.

“You can take some pills here and take a break. Your work day still hasn’t ended and regardless of the fact, you still need to work,” Theo shrugged.

The bastard. If looks could kill, Theo would be dead by now. Malia bit down on her lip not to curse him and Theo internally sighed. He probably wasn’t doing his crush on Malia any favors, but at least it would stop her from going to work somewhere else. Call it jealousy, but she wasn’t just an amazing girl, but also the best personal assistant he had ever had. He wasn’t letting her go that easily.

“You have a point,” Malia sighed. “But I’d really feel much more comfortable in my own bed,” she addes. “I can make it up tomorrow….”

“Malia. Period or no period, you still have got to work. Go lie down in the lounge for a few” he scoffed, knowing very well that she was lying. Maybe he paid a little too much attention on her, but hadn’t she called in sick just three weeks ago? And then appeared next day pale as a leaf popping painkillers and having more bathroom breaks than normal?

“Right.” Malia scoffed. “I’ll just take whatever advice you give me because you know exactly what I’m going through.” she replied with a sarcastic nod.

He let out a sigh and thought that maybe she really wasn’t lying and wasn’t feeling well, instead of trying to sneak to a job interview. Theo opened his mouth to reply, but Malia rolled eyes.

“Save it, Mr. Raeken” she said, before storming out of his office.

Theo sighed and lowered his head, using his fingers to comb his hair and toying with the necklace hanging on his neck, a recent gift from Mrs. Lee. Maybe this time he had crossed the line.

~*~

Malia let out a sigh and sunk deeper into the silk sheets of her bed before realising that she didn’t own silk sheets. She looked over at the clock on the bedside table and flew up. She was going to be late. She had no memory of the night before. Did she hook up with some random stranger?

Rushing to the bathroom, she realised that she was topless, which was weird, she knew she wearing pants. Silk boxers? Still, she had no time to debate that. She rushed to the bathroom and didn’t know how she felt about using a strangers electric toothbrush so she opted for gargling with mouthwash and went to open the medicine cabinet for something to soothe her headache. She instead found herself screaming when she noticed her reflection wasn’t her own.

Theo had a similar experience, he enjoyed the softness of the blankets he was wrapped in; they were perfect for how insanely cold he felt. Naturally- he cursed the invention of alarm clocks when he looked over at the time, six thirty am? That was bizarre. Reaching out he tapped the irritating thing before sweeping long brown hair from his face. Long brown hair was something he’d never had throughout his life neither were dainty hands and small wrists. And was that a triskele tattoo on the inside of said small wrist? Theo had no tattoos, in fact- he was terrified of needles.

He rushed over to the mirror and let out a small gasp when he noticed who was looking back at him.

Theo touched the mirror, shaky fingers following the contour of his - her - nose… Her soft mouth, the cheekbones. He had to be dreaming.

“Wake up. Wake up now” Theo closed his eyes and pinched himself.

He wasn’t. How was this possible? He ignored the urge to do whatever the dirtiest parts of his mind were telling him to do and instead found himself distracted by the jade necklace around her neck. It was identical to the one that Mrs Lee gave to him the day before, minus the fact that the chain on hers was more delicate.

“Fuck” Theo whispered under his breath. “I can’t be Malia …” just as he mentioned her name, the phone rang across the room.

Theo leaped for it, grabbing her cell phone and picking up just in time to hear his own irate voice “What the fuck did you do Raeken!” she yelled, rough voice and spitting fire.

“Me?! How is- wait- are you me?” Theo asked in a hushed yell, almost as if this was some dirty secret.

It was, wasn’t it?

“You stupid bastard! If this is some joke- you know what, I quit! You can stop the prank now, idiot!” Malia yelled even louder. Surely she was scaring the crap of his uptight neighbors.

“How could this be a prank? You’re delusional! And you can’t quit, I’m in your body!” Theo yelled back.

“You what!? There’s no way this is possible, I- fuck” Malia let out a small gasp. A small woman was standing on the doorway of her- Theo’s room. She was holding her coat and looking completely horrified.

“What? What happened?” Theo asked, growing frantic. He needed to know what was going on.

“Theo” Malia said softly, trying to open a plastic smile to the horrified old lady “Your mom is here”

“That’s impossible. Last I heard she was in Paris sipping mimosas with some Brazilian model who’s half her age.” Theo scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Well, then I’m being robbed by the world’s most ancient thief!” Malia cried, throwing a dirty glare to the lady “Who are you? What are you doing on Theo’s house?”

“Shit,” Theo groaned. “That’s Daisy, my housekeeper. And she’s about to smack you in the head with a newspaper and ask you what the fuck you drank last night.”

As upset as Theo was about Daisy being riled up he had to admit that it would be funny for Malia to get hit by Daisy.

Malia gulped down. She did feel hangover, so maybe Theo deserved to have his head smacked after all. Maybe this was all nothing more than a horrible acid trip.

“Hi… Daisy” she let out an uneasy smile “Theo- I’m fine”

The woman crossed arms “Theodore.”

Malia’s fake smile dropped “Look, I didn’t drink anything, in fact I-”

“Theodore” she cut Malia out sternly “Shut up”                        

“Yes ma'am.” Malia replied, causing Theo to snicker on the other end of the line. It was nice to be the safe one once in a while.

He now understood why all his friends enjoyed watching him get into it with Daisy.

“What was it tonight?” Daisy scoffed, putting her coat on the big vanity that Theo clearly used as an office table and walking towards Malia. “Was it the job again?” her voice was softer now, but Malia didn’t trust this woman. She sounded way too much like Malia’s dad.

“That horrible girl?” Daisy tried once more, picking up the dirty clothes on the floor and throwing Malia a glare for leaving them there.

“What horrible girl?” Malia asked with a scoff and raised brow, she had a suspicion Daisy meant her.

“Oh baby” Daisy let out a small sigh, walking closer and tiptoeing to cup Malia’s face. It showed just how tiny she was, since Theo wasn’t exactly tall to begin with. “You gotta let go.” she patted Malia’s cheek gently.

“Uhm…. I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” Malia replied with a blank expression.

“Enough is enough, Theo” Daisy sighed, walking away “Go shower, you stink. And you have work soon. Come have breakfast”

Malia was left there, stunned and trying to figure out what had just happened and then she remembered “Theo!” she grabbed the cellphone forgotten on the bed and pressed it to her ear.

“Now you remember me, uh? So while you were trying to pry information from my housekeeper, I made a game plan. Meet you at work.” and easily like that, he hanged up.

~*~

Malia let out a scoff and crossed her arms as she sat across from Theo.

“Mind running that plan by me again?” she said, raising her brow, shocked by the sight of her cleavage in that dress she never wore.

“Okay, so- I got us coarse salt, holy water from the church across the street and I paid 50 bucks for the priest to come here. We’ll sit on a circle made with the salt and let him pray for us and we’ll be fine” Theo answered. He had decided quickly that there was only one way to explain the body swap: demons.

Malia let out a scoff “It sounds even more ridiculous now than it did ten minutes ago” and then she added with a glare “By the way - Did you used fifty dollars of my money?”

This was honestly such bullshit and she couldn’t believe he’d used her money for it.

“I’ll pay you back” Theo rolled eyes “In fact, I don’t want to use your economies, so we should switch credit cards.”

It did not have anything to do with the fact that he had spent forty minutes that morning to get dressed. Her closet was a fashion disaster and more importantly - hid her angelic curves. Seriously, Malia needed a reality check.

“Good. And yea, we should,” she said “I need to stay on top of the medication for- shit- Coyote!”

“You do realize that sentence made no sense, right?” Theo crossed arms.

“My dog! Did you feed my dog?!” Malia gasped.

“You have a dog?” he genuinely stunned. Theo wouldn’t say he hadn’t snooped around her house, much like he was sure she did with his. Still, he had seen no dog. Perhaps it was really small “Is it tiny? Because I didn’t see any dog.”

"No. But he was probably out with that slutty French poodle again.” Malia scoffed. “She gave him fleas.”

“Oh-” Theo couldn’t stifle a laughter this time “Okay, uhm- I guess you should go home earlier and feed the dog?” he glared at the clock and paced around “Where’s the fucking priest?!”

Just as he said that the door of his office opened and a reluctant young priest came in.

“Morning, I’m Father Corey…” the man sighed, obviously not wanting to be there and holding his bible like a shield “I’m here to exorcise Malia Tate-Hale and Theodore Raeken, despite the fact that I was not blessed by the Roman Church to do so and this is absolutely ridiculous”

“Thank you. Please tell him that this absolutely ridiculous,” Malia scoffed rolling her eyes. “And how old are you anyway?” she asked, taking a look at the priest, who seemed like more of an altar boy if she was being honest.

“Eighteen but she refuses to believe I’m not a priest” the boy said tiredly.

Theo - in Malia’s body - let out a yelp “No, I paid you fifty bucks for this. Let us sit in the circle and you do your mojo”

Malia rolled her eyes before catching a glimpse of the jade necklace around his- her?- neck. She realised that Theo had one identical to it.

“Wait,” she scoffed.

“No time to wait” Tho mumbled, doing a big circle on the floor with coarse salt and pulling her to sit next to him. “Father, please begin”

“Look dumbass. We have the same necklace.” Malia scoffed.

“So?” Theo hugged his knees - Malia truly had bony knees he realized - and closed eyes “Shh, the exorcism has started”

“I know having you inside my body is like…. Equivalent to having a demon- but this won’t work.” Malia scoffed. “We should talk to Mrs Lee.”

“What? Why?” Theo said, without opening his eyes. Corey - the altar boy - seemed to be truly mesmerized by the amount of bullshit he was experiencing in first hand.

“Uhm…. She gave us matching necklaces and we wake up in each other’s bodies the next morning?”

“Oh…” he seemed to be thinking, before his - Malia’s - face lighted up with glee “Then we could simply swap the necklaces!”

“I don’t think it’s that simple… But, sure,” Malia shrugged, pausing a little before taking it off. Was it wrong for her to be awe of how pretty she looked? It was strange, she’d never really seen herself as beautiful. She hadn’t for years.

“Here” Theo took off his necklace and handed her, practically beaming with happiness. Sure, it hadn’t been all that bad to be stuck inside Malia, but it hadn’t been a walk in the park either and he was eager to go back to his body.

She handed him the other necklace and he put it on, waiting for the sparkles and the magic to happen.

“Uhm?” Malia scoffed. “This isn’t working. Here, take it back. It doesn’t go with my suit.”

Theo sighed. Of course life couldn’t go the easy way. “Then the exorcism it is. Father Corey?”

~*~

Theo turned his back around to the mirror. Yes, he was in a changing room. Yes he had picked revealing clothes. However, he didn’t feel in any right to see Malia’s body naked without her permission. He had been with women enough to know his way with a bra even with closed eyes and while showering was awkward, he could get it done without seeing much.

It was a temptation all the time, but her knew the girl would appreciate.

“Ms. Tate-Hale? Everything alright?” called the girl who was helping him around the store.                        

“Everything’s fine,” Theo called back. “Do you have this in a red?” he asked poking his head out. “I think it’d look great with my necklace.”

~*~

Malia sat in Theo’s home office, going over his accounts. It was a lot easier now when a lecture from Daisy revealed to her that Theo wore glasses. She’d never seen him in them, maybe that’s why she always had so much extra work cleaning up loopholes and loose ends.

To say she was living the dream would be an understatement, there she was- not bringing Theo coffee or using her degree to organise a schedule so all his lady friends would be appeased without finding out about the others.

Of course, nothing lasted forever and she let out a groan when Daisy crossed the threshold.

“Yes Daisy?” Malia scoffed, removing the glasses.

“Don’t Yes Daisy me, Theo” she said, crossing arms “Your credit card bill is here.”

The old lady put the piece of paper on the desk and Malia seriously questioned what kind of housekeeper opened their bosses bills. Daisy did.

“What’s this, Theodore? Four hundred dollars in a dress? Shoes of two hundred dollars each!?”                 

“Wait what?” Malia scoffed, putting the glasses  on and looking over the bill. “That bastard,” she scoffed dialing his- her- number.

“I’m worried about you, Theo!” Daisy cried “Since morning you’ve been acting weird, now you’re spending money on girls… What’s wrong, baby? I thought it was getting better?”

“Thought what was getting better?” Malia scoffed dialing the number again. She didn’t trust Theo anywhere near a salon with her body. Or anywhere for that matter. God only knew what the misogynistic prick was doing with her body as they spoke.                        

“Who were you buying a dress for, Theodore? ” Daisy threw Malia a cold glare “Was it for that horrible woman? ”

“What horrible woman?” Malia scoffed, frustrated. “I tell you I don’t understand and all you do is start consoling me.”

"Lydia! I thought we had an agreement to not bring up her name!”

“Who- oh…” Malia sighed. She’d remembered the redhead. How could she forget? She’d walked in on them in his office a few times. Not the highlight of her job experience.                        

“Yes. Oh” Daisy gave Malia a look full of pity “Maybe you should start therapy again…”

“Again? Theo was- I mean- I was in therapy?” Malia asked, shocked.                        

Daisy frowned and looked confused “Don’t tell me you don’t remember. I remember you whining non stop when I dragged you there”

“I just don’t remember why exactly…. I haven’t been remembering a lot ever since I had a drink off with my Chinese dignitaries. I got drank under the table by an old lady, not my finest moment,” Malia spoke, improvising.

Daisy flinched “It’s the same all over again” she sighed “All you need is for her to step on your life again and the drinking starts all over. I’m calling your therapist. Please don’t spend that much money anymore”

She tiptoed to press a kiss on Malia’s cheek and walked away, worn out.

Malia softened, she needed to know what had happened between them. Was that why he was such a dick to her?

“Hello?” Theo’s voice was bubbly on the other side of the line and Malia realized she completely forgot about the phone still dialing.

“You took my body to a salon? Are you insane?!” she whisper yelled, though Daisy had successfully calmed her down.

“You had some split ends love. I didn’t do anything dramatic Melissa.” Theo scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Mel- alright. Thanks bye” Malia fumed, hanging up without thinking. She was going to make sure he remembered her name. Grabbing her wallet, she walked to the door yelling after her “Daisy, I’m going out, don’t wait me up!”

~*~

Theo was sitting on Malia’s couch, relaxed. He’d finally gotten the dumb dog to like him, at least stop trying to bite him. Malia’s DVR content showed she needed some serious help. Seriously, who watched that stuff?

The phone buzzed and he threw a look at the screen. They had changed phones too, thankfully. He didn’t need Malia to snoop through his messages.

“My name is Malia” said the text, with a picture attached. Theo let out a yelp of horror. She had tattooed her name on his ribs!

He gaped as he stared at the image on the screen and angrily called her and was less than happy to hear her speaking so smugly on the other end.

“You like? I was going for classy yet edgy with the font.” Malia spoke smugly.

“What the fuck, Malia!? It’s permanent! And my body!” Theo yelled, cursing the way Malia’s girly voice didn’t come out rough like he wanted it to.

“Tattoos can be removed, I mean- they take forever and hurt like a bitch to remove but no worries, you’re the boss you can get time off to recover.”

“You’re fired!” Theo yelled, furiously.

“Actually, I think I’ll give you that raise you asked for Malia.” Malia chuckled smugly.

“Why the fuck are you doing this!?” Theo screeched “You know what- I’ll sell your dog. Goodnight” and he hanged up.

Malia growled, she didn’t trust him one bit. She grabbed his car keys and drove like a madman to the other side of the town.

It was late already, but Malia was growing scared. Her poor puppy.  Grabbing the spare key from under the mat she barged in angrily.

“I’ll kill you if you touch my dog you son of a bitch!”

“You’re the one who tattooed my body” Theo said. He was lounging on the couch, in an over sized shirt he had found on Malia’s mess of a wardrobe and socks. He made sure his voice sounded utterly bored.

“What are you wearing?” Malia asked, her eyes widening at the sight of the garment on her body.

“This ugly thing? You should know, I found it in your closet” Theo shrugged “But the socks are comfy, I’ll give you that”

“Take it off.” Malia glared. “Take it off right now.”

“Then I’ll be just in my underwear! I mean, yours- No!” Theo pouted “Also, if you stopped by to see Coyote, is too late. Sold it already”

“JUST TAKE IT OFF!” Malia snapped.