#then she tells everybody shes gay or thinks she is and im like oh alright fucking sick dude im so happy your happy i just was into you and

[lickingteeth]

i’m gonna sound like an incel but listen i’m not bashing every girl i’ve been romantic with i just want to speak on my own experiences and rant cause i’m fucking confused and so so lost ⬇️

[unlimitedhorsepower]

please imagine this video as barnaby and ryan while theyre singing theme for apollon

to me theme for apollon is romantic in some ways but its sung by barnaby and ryan which is so funny to me. fanservice moment!!!!

barnaby canonically thinks fanservice is important for fame and heroism while kotetsu doesnt understand it and is against the concept like cmon hes being a hero over here!

meanwhile ryan is the embodiment of fanservice because its about 98% of his personality and comes to him naturally. karina is also the embodiment of fanservice but she doesnt enjoy it particularly and is a chore to her because all it has given her is weird invasive idol fans.

plus if ryan was asked to do fanservice with karina hed laugh and go like DUDE... think again... robert is about to get his ass kicked in 30 seconds unless he changes his mind. so no.

logical course of course is ryan and barnaby fanservice. they did a fanservice performance for the “theme for apollon” they sang and karina had to teach them to dance and kotetsu didnt get to see it earlier.

all heroes waiting in the audience for the performance and kotetsus like hey karina give us a hint and karinas just like (defeated) i dont even want to talk about it..... youll see it soon...........

and its like this (as bros)

everyones like god. alright. keith didnt notice anything and was like oh it was nice:). subaru has a misguided homophobic incident on accident bc it was just fanservice and he also wasnt homophobic he was just so perplexed like is that allowed HUH

also im sure there are fans for ryan and barnaby like the two of them because of the rising like no they actually were the better duo. people writing unhinged tweets about them.

normal people are writing tweets like this about it

however ryan will never shut up not even in a car and neither of them also thought much of it because theyre friends and they both think fanservice is important its for the viewers maybe its okay to be gay 4 pay. except neither of them are thinking about it like that its just for the ratings

someone tells barnaby hes kinda gay and hes like no everybody does that (the everybody is just ryan and he is just friends with him also like smfh). everyone is growing gray hairs barnaby and ryan need to stop affirming each other about being straight.

not all LGBT people are in love or anything you can both be LGBT without being gay for each other. wake UP.............

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[theskyexists]

ive bought harrow the ninth and am now attempting to reread act 1 so that i may understand it better

ianthe clearly proposes that Harrow not get herself killed trying to bring Gideon back - reading it over again. instead to take the future and somehow?? be really powerful together and forget about their cavaliers. but harrow says no

im once again struck with how offhand this book introduces the concept that the empire goes out to deliberately kill planets over a couple of generations

now im not sure....there also seems to be an implication that there’s no aliens - because they say only humanity has a soul - but client planets were said to rebel - i guess the human colonisers rebel against central solar system command sometimes? but then what enemy does the Cohort fight? possibly it’s just bigotry that they think aliens dont have a soul

but like - they find LIVING PLANETS and then - kill them slowly. to the extent that they need to move the entire population. WHAT? why do they do that??? just so they can do some bone tricks???!

what the fuk

so how did the planets get murdered again? and which solar system planets could really have been said to have had enough life to have a soul?? cos like, only one of them is really known for that

why did God give Harrow the choice to go back home TWICE if he was never going to let her?

once again, why mess with the Hand candidates if God was always gonna come for Cytherea? just to mess with him more?

yeah - harrow keeps hearing and saying ortus ninegad but the rest of the world remembers gideon.

Harrow truly is totally mentally shattered AND time is totally fucked up

but sometimes in the fake-ish timeline Harrow remembers but doesn’t remember Gideon - like how she notes that there were two womb-bearing members of the Ninth who were the right age...but only elaborates on herself

for some reason - Harrowhark remembers Ianthe’s arm ripped from her by Cytherea - but now it’s whole. for some reason

that letter is still so what the fuck

‘like you did the last time’ - hm harrowhark sewed Ianthe’s lips shut? how did she come by the power?

is ianthe - calling Harrowhark God?

throughout the first act, they keep referring to time, having too much time, or not mastering time, or not having enough time, ‘this time’ etc.

the eggs you gave me all died - that’s DIRECTED at Harrow, is my theory

ok but the planet revenants come after Lyctors and also God (- God became God when? at the Resurrection) before the Lyctors happened - God was still at Canaan House - despite the Revenants already coming right...

is Teacher criticising god and lyctors for leaving Canaan House lol?

ok so yeah Canaan House WAS part of a ‘last sacrifice’

ok so - Harrowhark is a little resurrection miracle. This implies that God killed a lot to resurrect the Houses.

wow God is being a very dad to Harrow

Blood of Eden - BOE - they turned their back on the solar system. now they hate necromancy. in other words - when the solar system died, God resurrected it - but before that point some humans had fled - lived. and they can see what absolute fuckin horror necromancy is ACTUALLY

so what im getting is...maybe...god resurrected humanity by killing the planets...?

i just realised that Ianthe has taken Gideon’s place as the smartass in the room - the counterweight to Harrow’s portentousness

what the fuck do augustine’s comments to Mercy mean???? why is she unloveable? why would he say that God doesn’t need her? and why is it obscene that Augstine calls God John? What is the dangerous game she’s playing? What was the foul implication??

‘Then that is your downfall’ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Harrow BURN!!!

what i don’t get is - the Cohort is an army - when they land they die because they’re being killed by an enemy at the front - NOT in pure sacrifice for thanergy. so why does only the death of humans and planets produce thanergy. why is the death of the enemy not good enough? they don’t have fuckin souls?? they MUST be complex life. and doesn’t a planet produce a constant stream of thanergy? but i guess it’s not dying enough - generally its life maintains itself in ecosystems.....unless a fuckin lyctor ‘makes the juice flow’ i guess!

sometime in the next book there IS gonna be a ‘are we the baddies’ meme. muir loves memes and she stuck skulls on absolutely EVERYTHIGN. Like WHY THE FUCK would you colonise planets if you gotta kill them for it? LOL????

huh? augustine just said that they can’t use necromancy when in the river - but mercy mocked harrow for having hypothermia ? implying her fundamental failure was not being able to necro while in the river? Harrow’s inability was what was wrong partly right?? oh no ok it’s how Harrow tried to compensate for her body going lights out while in the river. alright. that was written confusingly

how and why is this a completely different story???

The Sleeper.......is Harrowhark? the suit is too close to what she was wearing killing the asteroid. and the sleeper is lying on ‘something’. oh they just straight up say it lololol

ortus got into trouble 19 years ago...hhmmmmm wasn’t Gideon 19??? huh? which is why Mercy started at Harrow’s peculiar YELLOW eyes that Harrow can’t see herself i think

‘i do things face to face’ ortus says after stabbing harrow. HUH? why go for a stab if decapitating would have done the job? just to give her a small chance to fight back? (face to face?)

why not tell God that ‘his’ attack dog is trying to kill you?

why does Ortus the First want me dead? ‘who?’ ---uh. has she forgotten him completely (time shit) or is she saying the wrong name? mercy wouldnt reply like that then right?

she told him and he’s like - oh well guess you gotta just get through repeated almost-successful attacks on your life. ???? THANKS GOD!!!

‘you, with your unfortunate memory for poetry’ HA! i love how we are reminded that she knew all the fuckin damn books nearly by heart which is insane!

Teacher suggests his dying at least three times a day?? hahaha what?.........................is this purely a meme reference. is that meme the mental image im supposed to have of Teacher??????????? is this trying to say that this meme was preserved in the amalgamation of human life that is Teacher?? oh my god....

no.....palamedus and camilla....did old Harrow really kill them.....

seems like all the murders were consensual maybe?

it’s probably too straightforward that Harrow created and alternate timeline and made for a Harrow Lyctor without Gideon dying and kicked her to the original? maybe she took Ianthe and Coronabeth with her bc she needed Ianthe’s help

is this Cytherea or Dulcinea? Pro seems real this time. why does Dulcie call Pal and Cam strands and cords?

did muir put in a fuckin secondary school S - muir’s just like - im gonna put in all the memes as a nod to ancient human culture

still no idea what the messages are that Harrow is getting

This Harrow is so goddamn sick. I mean she was sick before, but at least she had Gideon. Really do feel that that helped her. now she didn’t have that -- AND she’s getting slapped with trauma another five times

if ortus can undo the thanergy of her own bone then why not simply crumble HARROW into dust? cos there’s a core of thanergy fusion in her that he can’t undo?

FLKJDFKLJSDLFSD fucking IANTHE ‘Wow! Not how I imagined this happening, at all.’  FUCKIN HELL

Harrow with her fucking fucked up dramatic inner monologues about weakness and Ianthe comes in with this shit. she really is doing Gideon proud here.

Did love Harrow’s musings about how only a truly idiotically obedient Cavalier would be the only one to keep to a vow of silence. HAH! nice one muir

‘have you taken the time to rest lately?’ asks God, YOUR FUCKING SAINT IS TRYING TO KILL HER IN THE FUCKING BATH YOU IDIOT AHAHAHAHA

JEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - try and be normal Harrow! try and make some soup and read a book! Harrow: *does and then hyperventilates hidden under her bed after 86 hours of zero sleep*

she was trying to remember what cutlery did. why is this so goddamn funny hahahaa. this book has ONLY been Harrow being in extreme states of misery ALL THE TIME both mentally and physically to the point of death

GOD IS HAPPY THAT SHE MADE SOUP AND DOESNT EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE SHE’S NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK SOMEHOW THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT

thats what you fucking GET you piece of shit god! you push a prodigy teen to the brink and she fuckin explodes your lyctor and feeds you her fuckin marrow. maybe you shouldn’t have ignored her goddamn fucking understandable distress

SHE FUCKIN HITS HIM WITH THE FUCKIN TRUTH what an IDIOT of a God. he truly doesn’t understand mortality anymore huh

I LOVE HOW MERCYMORN CONTINUES TO MAKE HARROW YOUNGER IN HER HEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHA she’s only nine years old!!!hahahaha

naturally God focuses on how - wait- actually harrow is truly an INSANE necromancer - INSANE

still no idea what the fuck is going on in the not-past

aww. ianthe’s scent soothes harrow now. begrudgingly of course.

i thought this was gonna be lovely angsty harrow/gideon but naturally that did not happen

harrow is comfortable! first time in the whole book! one moment of comfort!!!

‘love my twin, also murder’ tridentarius pffjlfjdljf

‘how i crave your honeyed words’ hah

wow this scene sure is weirdly sexual with these similes lol ‘as though she had shyly undressed for you’ ok there Harrow you about to chop her arm off calm it probably sex repulsed thirsty teen

i do love how....there is this theme again that’s everybody underestimating the main character - who is actually a prodigy. Gideon had that with the sword and Harrow also has it with being a Lyctor now

it’s so telling that these Saints would rather be shits to these babies than help Ianthe grow a new fuckin arm

i dont see why Ianthe can’t work off this bone construct which is her own stuff and put some flesh on it since SHES A FLESH NECRO?

Ianthe that’s super gay

wow muir really never delivers on full gay does she??? i dont mind but i think it’s so striking hahaa

how are Harrow and Ianthe still hung up on the Saint of Duty? i mean, if they dont have him against the RB they’re dead anyway

why is the First going through rain and ice?

Harrow haunted? naawwww

i cant help but like mercymorn though - she cares. it’s soured ages ago but she cares.

awww Harrow needs Ianthe to sleep

Ianthe constantly poking Harrow for her prudishness is so goddamn funny.

‘It’s the type of energy i wish to take into my future’ AHAHAHAHAHAAH IANTHE MY GOD

‘i always forget you were an honest to go nun ... and six years old to boot if you listen to mercymorn’ HAHAHAHAHAHA

‘you look good enough that im proud of my handiwork but not so good that i’ll be consumed with lust and ravish you over the nut bowl’ fpdfjsdfkjsd this is what harrow means with crude japery and yet....

mercymorn has started to call harrow three years old. i will NEVER tire of this gag

all of the blood of eden stuff happened in the past 25 years??? god was on the erebos, but he also remembers ortus kicking the commander out of an airlock? that was in the last 25 years??

Ianthe‘s carressing the nape of Harrow’s neck. hmmhm

its honestly super weird if you think about it for more than 10 seconds that theyre talking about their cavaliers whom they murdered (im still not sure if all consensually) ten thousand years ago (!) and how hot they were that just seems.....fucked up

Harrow is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically all the time but especially now. yep well that was to be expected i guess lololol

Harrow being painfully frozenly fascinated by (god having) sex and deeply repulsed is very Harrow

oh nooooo well that was a perfect kiss between them really

the funny thing about Harrow is that though she is so completely fucked up - just like Gideon - she is fundamentally a helper.

why wouldn’t Harrow have thought of blood wards! she knew he could only bleed thanergy! it;s the first thing i thought - just use not bone wards then!

ortus thinks anastasia is in Harrow - which makes me think - why does he think that’s possible?

mercymorn now calls Harrow a two-year-old. i am waiting for embryonic genius

so did they use the river to get to the planets theyre killing?

Harrow feels the peace and pleasure of a stroll through nature that she has come to kill

oh my god - Harrow somehow saved Cam and Pal is still attached to the mortal plane!!

Harrow helps Cam risking herself entirely just like that. yknow as she does

i wonder if Pal has realised that Harrow is not who he remembers

i think he realised once he realised haz mat suit was Harrow also...

ianthe xo’d harrow.....lol

im sad that original harrow is definitely dead.... :( loved her. guess gideon’s not coming back either. not sure how the second adept survived. she didn’t survive in the original timeline either. but she was ‘killed’ in the other - just like coronabeth..so that means soemthing

this whole ‘flashback’ stuff to Canaan House is Harrow being in the River the whole time. the cold temperatures, the blood, the creatures theyre fishing from the sea that apparently abominations

after all, we’ve just learned about river bubbles and a haz!harrow that can change their parameters.

all the people ‘dead’ she’d not spoken to much or at all beforehand. like they’re NOT real, in the River. the only one not like that is Dyas...

the fact that the narrative keeps calling Dulcie, Dulcie means she’s really Dulcie.

there’s giant organs falling from the ceiling. this is definitely the river

they talk about time AGAIN

the Body is the devil who let herself be used to complete the work of Teacher and the Lyctors in his mythology....hmm. and when they realised the price (AFTER? the work was done?) they wanted her dead but he buried her....SHE allowed them to become Lyctors?? I still don’t understand why the heck that was necessary

the king is dead, long live the king. hmmmm

Harrow comes onto a hallucination of the devil who was her first crush with the voice of her parental figures and the eyes of a love interest she can no longer remember - which is actually not precisely a hallucination probably - and gets summarily rejected lol OUCH (the Body didn’t mean it that way ofc)

Harrow is so repressed on every single front but definitely sexually

I love Mercy

so there is death beyond death. does everybody go into the river and become a mad horrid ghost? like - is that everybody’s fate? how awful

ok so God DID resurrect the planets also. ? but like. then why are there resurrection beasts?

what does resurrection mean? and who killed the planets in the first place?

BECOMING NONE HOUSE, LEFT GRIEF

oh.....my god.

ARE YOU AND IANTHE BEING SAFE!!?!?!?! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

HIS BODYGUARD IS THE DEVIL??

so the destruction of Earth somehow made God? as though it was something that simply followed from it

A.L. was destroyed in the first assault? Of an RB

so the RB’s were happily running off in the other direction until they decided to fuck around and kill their mates to become immortal and powerful - then the RB’s turned around and came towards them - which meant leaving the planets God had resurrected forever.

what the fuck god??? hahahahaa

God always seems so likeable goddamn.

Harrow is such a dramatic bitch. Affection??? JUST KILL ME!!! KILL ME!! LET ME SMASH THE GLASS SO I CAN KNEEL IN IT AND BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!

Harrow goes into her fun kid's game of not dying to traps.

But she instantly calls him father. OH MY GOD

HE DOESNT BELIEVE HER!!!

'then that will be your downfall' - is what Harrow said to Augustine AND IT WILL BECOME TRUE FOR THEM ALL

to be dismissed like that where it hurts most - to have God Dad dismiss her only slip of comfort her only pillar of truth in this crazy old world

'nobody had watched you leave'

SOMEBODY HAD - I love all the deliberate references to Gideon

Temporal lobe!!!! Again the temporal lobe!!!

So why was it again that Harrow refused to be locked in with the Emperor?

So isn't God gonna check out Harrow's temporal lobe? He's just gonna let that mystery go to its death?

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

Muir what the fuck??!!!!!!!!

Oh it was.....a hallucination?

Always love how this dips into genuine horror sometimes

What's weird is that Lyctors seem made for the task of going into the river and killing Resurrection Beasts - instead of the other way around.

So say - that the sword somehow holds Gideon's soul (we've just learned that that's possible from Pal and also Ortus trying to get Pent to summon his grandma by his sword) - does it not make sense that Harrow 'for some reason' stabbing Cytherea's corpse with it transferred it to her? Or maybe it's SOMEHOW Anastasia if Ortus was macking on her. But Ortus thought HARROW had/was Anastasia.

IANTHE WANTS TO MARRY HARROW - HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Every fucking chapter doesn't make things any clearer. This is worse than Gideon the ninth

Hello???? Am I reading a canon alternate universe roleswap au??? What the FUCK is going on. This is like - if they hadn't gassed the 200 and her parents instead adopted Gideon for her clear necromantic gifts which nobody noticed somehow the other time round

I do love how Aiglamene was the sole source of slight comfort in Gideon's life. And Crux was Harrow's - apparently in any sequence of events.

Harrow is tumbling through timelines. But how can you do that just by messing with the lobe?

WHAT!! WHAT!!!

Is this...is this what I think it is??? Is thi

The fanfic roots are STRONG in this one. In fact I believe I've READ this fanfiction

Harrow's temporal fever dream (in the river?) HAD HER (Decidedly Not) VYING FOR 'HER DIVINE HIGHNESS' hand, which is either the Body or Gideon or both lololol. Seeing as the previous had Gideon as the main unnamed titled character - I bet it's Gideon ahahaaga

A fucking. COFFEESHOP AU. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

We've had roleswap, 'ball' au, and coffee shop au populated by the ghosts of the dead LOLOL,

I knew it!! I knew that they were ghosts and that they were in the river!!

Ok so but when did Harrow shoddily create the bubble? When she adjusted her memories at the start? When is this. Ah Harrow has the same thought hahaa

So the stage is a - she was building her memories while sleeping?

Why is that she cannot access her lyctorhood like this...

I just realised that Harrow's mind made the party food taste like SALT based on Ianthe's cooking!!!! Hahahaha

THE NARRATOR IS GIDEON. But it doesn't sound like Gideon though

There's more to the work than simply preserving Gideon's soul though. There are next steps that Harrow prepared for that Harrow doesn't know about yet

Who was the sleeper and why was it in Harrows riverscape of memories that she ACCIDENTALLY??? made

Ok she sounds like Gideon NOW

Gideon no it's not because she didn't want you! It's because she wanted you to live!!!!!

And she succeeded....your soul is INTACT in her body!!!! You're protecting her with full consciousness!! How the fuck. And why didn't that happen before when she went to the bubble?

Are the ghosts of the contestants happy that they got pulled out of the River briefly? Or were they so briefly in there they couldn't remember?

She returned them to the RIVER???? is that really such a kind fate????

Something has gone wrong in the River - yeah because why r all these ghosts going insane and stoppering it up like slib

Do love how Muir has found a way to give these characters more screentime

I actually said 'oof' when Harrow screamed at Ortus - oof that really is embarrassing. GodDAMN Ortus you stepping up with the emotional support!

I've EVEN read the damn fanfic in which they switched bodies. My god.

A. L. apparently is thought to wander about still. I think she's the body....I do believe she's the body. That's why the Lyctors are scared of her

She thought - what. Mercy is talking about blood of Eden's commander. What is going onnnnn still!!!! Mercy is the traitor I guess. But how is blood of Eden connected to the ninth house and the body?

Why is Mercy awake on the mithraeum and not in the River anyways?

Gideon.... And the commander were in cahoots? So did A. L. and Anastasia an the body and the commander all have the same eyes?????

What the fuck is going on indeed.

Cytherea seems to have had a plan B for getting revenge on the Emperor. Or something had a plan B with her corpse as the main weapon.

If guns are so effective against people why aren't they still used.

The messages are from the commander. I.e. Gideon's mother. I.e. Anastasia? We never explicitly did learn how she met her end no? Gideon was convinced that Anastasia had taken the baby. It just seems incongruous how the Emperor spent like 80 years on the Erebos and the Lyctors were faffing about - meanwhile there was this drama going on in the last half century?

I love Abigail Pent. Love that I got to see more of her.

I'd honestly forgot that Judith was alive by the end of all of that shit

The sleeper is -the sleeper is Gideon's mother. Also. She's haunted by her mother. SOMEHOW. what the fuck? They couldn't drag her spirit back from the river they said!

'you wizards never learn' there's a whole modern regular sci fi world and culture out there! Or maybe it's just a. L.

Is it? Or is it Anastasia? Or is it the commander? Or are they the same thing?

The sleeper wants Harrow's body. Somehow invaded it - probably from the river? - which means its Anastasia or the commander. Which means that whatevers possessing Cytherea is someone else.

In retrospect - Harrow's coldness to Ianthe talking about - to what her - seemed nonsense at the time - in the very first part - doesn't quite fit.

Oh my fucking GOD Gideon is fighting Ianthe for messing around with her fucking girlfriend - who is HARROW, who actually, Ianthe wants to marry.

They just went from ramping up to a serious fight to Gideon dropping Corona's name and suddenly they're like - ah we got more important priorities actually.

Augustine's first thought at thinking a.l./the body (?) is in Harrow is John - and the Second is Joy!(mercy?)

'How I was gonna have to take showers with all your clothes on.' fuckin Gideon hahahaha

Wonder if Ianthe truly believes what she's saying - that Harrow was trying to rid hersel of Gideon. It's preposterous. It's just hurtful talk.

GIDEON REALLY THOUGHT THAT LOOK TO MEAN THAT HARROW DIDNT LOVE HER??? THIS IS A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ALL THE ANGSTY DRAMATIC SHIT IVE BEEN YEARNING FOR

Oh my fucking god Gideon calling Ianthe out for being in love with Harrow in the most iconic way ufsojdjdodnd 'she wants the D - the D stands for dead'

Crazy brain-mutilated Harrow sure made it seem that way I can tell ya that!!

Hahahahahaha Ianthe remembering Harrows prudish Ortus/Cytherea shit. Amazing

Aw Gideon really went and fell right into the cavalier/bone mistress shit huh. And trying to shield Harrow - well as noted before - very necessary because harrow has been having a godawful miserable time - mostly because of herself.

Gideon appreciating Ianthe's pun xD

Love how neither of them position themselves as the love of Harrows life but instead as inexorably attached to her by the sheer role they play in her life - they don't dare aspire to what they think they can't get.

Muir realises this is gonna end up as a Gideon/Harrow(/theBody)/Ianthe ship right?

Oh WOW THIS IS AMAZING. nonius the legendary nonius!!! Come to protect Harrow!!!

For some reason the Sleeper can manipulate the rules of this River bubble and doesn't seem surprised about it

If all her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem.lololol. somehow Harrow, you inspired undying loyalty in even a person that you treated abominably

Yeah Harrow you slowpoke. If the Sleeper can adjust the rules - so can you

If the sleeper was not Harrow's invention - but planted itself - then they're very lucky it got to the ghosts that weren't actually there - first.

So it was the commander....a portrait in a shuttle of blood of eden - can only be the commander. And redhaired? There are too many red haired people in this book!!

It's nice how all these ghosts got to have lasting impact from beyond the grave

NONIUS KNEW ORTUS/GIDEON?

Ok so ....there's the bed of the River with stoma. But there might also be the other side.

Did Harrow really not account for steps beyond her plan to mutilate her brain?

Is this book really gonna go: fuck you Gideon will die anyway ?????

But.wait. the sleeper had a two-hander. Where did that go???

I don't get it. If they go into the river - won't they also go insane?

SO NYAH!!!!!???

Ok but - what? The Commander ALSO -somehow - took over Cytherea's body?

'did the ten billion give you that too' I KNEW CANAAN HOUSE HELD EVEN GRUESOMER EXPERIMENTS AND SACRIFICES THAN LYCTORHOOD. God is made of ten billion souls. I think they killed humanity on earth to spare it 'slow inexorable apocalypse' and used the power to make the Empire from the resurrected. There was an extremely vague implication by Teacher to the amount of souls violated in Canaan house in the first book.

So God knows the commander went for the ninth house? Firstly, how. I don't understand how Anastasia fits in here!!! It would explain though how the commander

So the commander found the ninth house - and she died right? They tried to call her spirit but couldn't. But she became a revenant?

Ah. God THREW the bomb.

A fuckin wake me up inside joke jskdjskdnd

So Mercy and Augustine ( not Gideon ?) had all turned against God? And they were working with the commander to -... Make a baby????? And then evacuate the houses???? (For when God dies - there being a risk that Dominicus would go out I guess)

Make a baby/body to lever the one who lies in the tomb into....?

Love how the book foreshadowed Mercy and Augustine manipulating and lying to God - and turns out they did that on much bigger scale

They....meant to kill the baby to break the blood ward?

'The woman who I was pretty sure was my mother, wearing the body of the woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered -' KSNFKDJDKFJJFC

So why did they want this consistently characterised as kindly and humane god dead?

GIDEON THOUGHT IT WAS HIS!!!! But he called Wake Anastasia then????

They really are the same???

Oh my god I know what they're gonna say. Gideon is the daughter of God. WHICH HARROWS FUCKIN ROYALTY AU FEVER RIVER DREAM FUCKING FORESHADOWED HAAHAHAHAHHAA

Isn't it fucking ironic that God told Harrow that - HE WANTED HER TO BE HIS??? WHILE GIDEON HIS ACTUAL DAUGHTER WAS SPINNING INSIDE HER CHEST LIKE A LITTLE NUCLEAR FUSION REACTOR

They've been trying to kill him for more than 500 years???? Did mercymorn actually genuinely learn the extremely fine knowledge of the body for THIS purpose? How many thousands of years ago did they decide to kill god?

A fucking DAD JOKE

GIDEON REMEMBERING HOW SHE USED TO TELL HARROW HOW HER OTHER PARENT MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD SO STOP PICKING ON HER

I am fucking DELIGHTED I AM SO GODDAMN OVERJOYED

It segues into a reminder of how shit their childhoods were and how their suffering had them lash out at each other endlessly and how it made Harrow suicidal and shit though - which is great

ALECTO'S EYES. THE A. FOR A. L.

A. L. The cavalier of God....but she walked. She had a body.

Ohhhhh. That's why they betrayed him. That age-old hurt. Ten thousand years old but still the bane of their existence, the seed of their madnesses. The loss of their cavaliers. Oh how did they manage to keep that from him?

I honestly thought - is Mercy saying she knows he killed humanity? But that's not what she couldn't have forgiven?

But why did he hide it? Why did he hide the perfect way? ('it would be easier' why???)

Ah. Yes. The expansion, why would the Emperor do that?

Uhhhhh. Couldn't Mercy have done that all along??????????????????????? Couldn't Mercy have killed God all along? That was both a trick and utterly sincere.

Augustine and Mercy were trying to do the right thing..... Mercy.... :'( Augustine was right. God is much less sentimental than he seems.

'im not even mad that you failed to either fix or put down Harrow' hm guess the constant kill quest HAD come from God after all. What a goddamn bitch of a man

What was the original plan? Unleash a. L. ? And then what? How would that help with the whole Dominicus going out problem?

Had God ever really thought to make up for all the bullshit he put his Lyctors through. He seems so affable and human but he's caused so much suffering. He's as good at manipulation at them - better!

The resurrection beast can't kill him, but he let his Lyctors die to them one by one anyway. So why??

Why are they punching each other in the River? They can use theorems right? God could blast Augustine to pieces same he did mercy?

Yes! It's true! Pyrrha and Gideon both exist in the same body - foreshadowed by his cavaliers build. There was something so fishy about it.

I love how Gideon has exactly the same response as me: what the fuck. Pyrrha??? Gideon??? What the fuck??? Why did they BOTH have an affair with their enemy??? So ok. Pyrrha stayed underground from Everybody for the thousand years. SOMEHOW their compartmentalisation let her pop up in his body regularly and not just when Gideon remembered her - because the hadn't fucked up his brain. But then how did THEY do that.

This absolutely galactic balsiness

The stoma thinks John is a resurrection beast. Might it be.....because he's..... A revenant. A 10 billion souled kinda- revenant ? A bit like.....Harrow is? Which is why he felt kin to her? Which is why he compared her creation to Resurrection?????I've really gotta reread those messages from commander wake.

A fucking jail for mother meme. Jail for one thousand years. Gideon how do you know this one????

I KNEW Ianthe would do that. Knew it. She doesn't want the system to die. Coronabeth is still out there. Well guess what - she's on the opposite side babe. Ok I realised that Gideon's mum apparently stuck to Gideon and then the sword? But also did Harrow manage to break the blood ward because of of her proximity to Gideon? Did Harrow uhhhh get put into a pocket in the river? But the emperor wasn't murdered!!! Fuckin chapters kept lying. They're on a hold planet. Finally - we meet the people. Alecto and Camilla and Corona? And Judith.? Did Alecto somehow do a time twisty around to come save Gideon at that moment in the river? Once again nothing much more is clear.

[thebisexualdogdad]

Sidekicks and sex pollens

Co-written with @inhumanshadows

Tags: @18aquamarine-flower18 @russiangeckosexparty @lordparadox @heartbreaker6995

Word count: 3.3k

Ao3 version with gifs

Being Poison Ivy's sidekick it wasn't uncommon for you to have to deal with the fellow sidekicks of heroes like Batman. 

The old Robin, now going by Nightwing, and the new Robin had showed up to your bosses greenhouse and Ivy grew bored of the fight so she left you to your own devices to take care of them.

This particular greenhouse was a personal favorite and personal achievement of yours. You sat on a makeshift throne, looking the Bat's sidekicks over... 

There was no denying they were attractive.

"Hello boys... looks like we have a battle of the sidekicks going on, huh?"

And you knew they were attracted to you too. 

Looking down you saw the erections straining against their suits caused by the fact that only a pair of leaves covered your lower half leaving the rest of you in the nude. 

"This'll be much easier if you just give yourself up," Nightwing yelled. 

"What? Do you need some alone time to handle your... Situation?" You teased pointing down to his crotch.

Try as he might, you could see the stoicism behind Nightwing's eyes falter as you mention his "problem."

"That's none of your business!" He answers.

"Don't feel too bad birdbrain. Your junior over there is sporting one too." You comment, pointing to Robin.

"How do you know this isn't residual from the porn I was watching earlier?" Robin quipped thinking he was being smart. 

"Will you shut up," the older man sighed. 

"Why don't we have some fun boys," you grinned, vines growing out behind you and grabbing the two of them.

The two of them let out "manly" yells as the vines capture their arms and legs, suspending them slightly in the air.

You stand, sauntering over to them, hand on your chin.

"What to do... what to do..." You say to yourself letting your free hand brush against each of the sidekicks.

You look to them. "You boys have any ideas? Robin? I mean if your problem was from something you watched earlier... why don't you enlighten me?"

Using a trick Ivy taught you, you kissed his cheek, letting out a pollen which he inhaled. 

Uncontrollably Robin spurted out, "I want to get fucked in the ass so I watch gay porn while I finger myself." 

"Seriously dude," Nightwing groaned.

"Oh Nightwing your buddy here can't be the only one here with some dirty little secrets," you said using the same pollen on the other sidekick. 

"I've always found you really sexy," He shouted wishing he hadn't.

"Well... that trick works better than I thought... Anything else you boys wanna tell me?"

You waited... no response.

"Oh boys... you wound me... " You say, feigning hurt. "Well... I'll tell you what. How 'bout we play a game? Something like 20 questions, hmm? You tell me something you may not want others to hear and mayybe... I'll tell you two some naughty little things... How's that?"

"You start since you already got us to spill our guts," Robin said knowing he was going to like this game more than he'll ever admit. 

"Alright then... I like when my... Partners you could say are under my total control," you smirked, "you're up." 

"I like to be tied up," Robin admitted. 

"Like this?" You said making your vines grip him tighter. 

The moan Robin let out as you tighten the vines was like music to your ears.

"That means nothing..." Robin quickly states.

"Whatever you say Wonder Boy..." You turn your attention to the Nightwing. "Now... what about you? You still haven't said anything... It's only fair." 

"I... I..." Nightwing starts.

"You're a big boy... I'm sure you've got some fantasies in that brain of yours." You say using the vines to bring him closer and whisper in his ear.

"I... wanna kiss you... all over." He relents.

"You first," you grin kissing his jaw making him groan. 

Robin squirmed as much as the vines would allow him wanting to be the one your lips were on as he watched. 

Your hand gripped his cock through his suit while your lips assaulted his neck.

"Oh...fuck..." Nightwing moans, hips moving on his own.

You pull away as he groans. "None of that now..."

"Wait! Come back!"

"Now... should I tell you guys something? Or... Robin? Do you have something you wanna tell me?" 

"I want you to touch me!" Robin exclaims.

You chuckle to yourself, waving your hand and making a vine snake around to be in front of Robin's face.

"Will this suffice?"

"I want your hands you asshole," Robin mumbled.

"Now thats no way to talk to the man that you want to make you cum so hard you might black out," you smiled reaching into his suit and grasping his hard cock. 

Robin moaned loudly with the first touch of skin to skin contact. 

"What about me?" Nightwing said desperately. 

"Oh don't worry babe i won't forget about you," you said pulling Robins cock out of his suit.

You run your fingers over each of the hard cocks in front of you.

"Well... I'm gonna have so much fun with these... Is that what you want Robin? Nightwing? You guys want me play with you? Tell me what you want."

"Please put your mouth on me," Robin begged. 

"Since you asked so nicely," you smiled taking a long lick up the shaft of his cock. 

Robin's eyes shut tight as you swirl your tongue around the tip. 

Nightwing groaned watching your mouth toy with Robin while your hand stroked him.

You slowly start to bob your head in shallow, short movements, enjoying the moans coming out of Robin's mouth.

"Oh Fuck! Keep going!" Robin moans.

You bobbed your head a few more times, taking notice of the ragged breathing before pulling off of Robin and quickly moving to Nightwing, swallowing the tip.

"But I'm so close," Robin grunts.

"Not yet bird boy," you wink before taking Nightwings cock back into your mouth. 

Now it's Nightwings turn to become a moaning mess as your lips work his cock. 

You know Robin is desperate to touch himself as his hands squeeze into tight fists between the vines making a show you quite enjoy watching.

You chuckle, vibrations going up the cock in your mouth. Nightwing tries to move his hips to put more of him into your mouth.

You wave barely thinking the thought and a vine wraps itself around his waist. You open your mouth and let the vine pull him away.

"Well boys... this was fun. But now I must make my exit." You give the boys an exaggerated bow. 

"However... I will leave you with one last present."

Two plants each on a table either side of you open to reveal beautiful petals, the centers releasing clouds of pollen, obscuring your form and filling the sidekicks noses.

"Don't go," they both gasp but you were gone. 

The vines release them and they put their cocks back into their suits scrambling around looking for you. 

"Where-where did he go?" Jason stammered. 

"I don't know," Dick said feeling his cock throbbing.

"What do we do now?" Jason questioned, wincing at how badly he needed to cum.

"Not much we can do now except go home..." Dick says. "Maybe take one of the plants and see what they sprayed us with..."

"I know what I wish I sprayed him with..." Jason says, not missing a beat.

"Come on... lets get home... maybe then these problems will go away."

"But I still gotta cum!" Jason whines

When they arrived home Jason returned to his bedroom not wasting a second to finish what you started with his own hand though he much would have rather it had been your's. 

Dick however tried his best to analyze the pollen they had taken but within fifteen minutes he couldn't help himself from touching his throbbing cock. 

He could hear Jason moaning from his room even all the way down in the cave and Dick's own moans started filling room.

Dick searched Bruce's computer files of logged villains and sidekicks until he found yours. 

"Mistletoe," he moaned staring at your picture as his hand stroked his cock.

Back in Jason's room the current Robin was furiously jacking off, wishing again that his hand was yours or better yet, your mouth. He focused back on the feeling of your tongue running up and down the length before a warm feeling wrapped itself around his cock.

"Oh fuck..." He moaned, cum shooting all over his chest and stomach.

Unknown to Jason, Dick was on the verge of cuming to images of you barely covered by foliage.

Dick came into his hand groaning your name. 

If only they knew that you yourself were busy jerking off in the privacy of your own home to the memory of their cocks in your mouth. 

This was an encounter none of you would forget and you all secretly hoped that you would run into one another again soon.

When you weren't helping Ivy, you did have a life and a day job being a forensic botanist for the GCPD. Right now you were on your lunch break and grabbing a slice or two from your favorite pizza place when in walks in an old friend.

You wave him over, taking notice of the younger guy next to him.

"Hey, Dick. It's Y/N... from the precinct."

"Y/N hey, it's been a while," Dick said shaking your hand. 

"Who's this?" You asked looking to the guy next to him. 

You couldn't quite place it but for some reason he seemed familiar. 

"This is Jason, Jason this is Y/N we used to work together," Dick responded. 

"Nice to meet you Jason, would you guys like to join me for a bite and catch up?"

"Sure, sounds great." Dick answers before going and getting his and Jason's usual.

"So... you and Dick used to work together? Back when he was a detective?" Jason asked and you nodded, "What did you do?"

"I'm a forensic botanist. It's not that interesting. Why don't you tell me about you Jason? How do you know our mutual friend?"

"Uh well we-" Jason stuttered trying to come up with an excuse that didn't involve outing themselves as crime fighting vigilantes but he was saved by Dick returning to the table, "Dick i was just telling Y/N how we met." 

"You see Jason was an underprivileged youth at the new center im working at," Dick said right away, clearly making Jason offended.

"Oh so you're working at a youth center now?

That's great, everybodys been wondering what you've been up to since you left," you told him.

"Yeah we help keep kids like Jason off the streets and away from drugs," Dick continued. 

You all sat and ate, making small talk here and there, catching up with Dick.

"It was fun catching up with you Dick. Jason, nice to meet you but I gotta get back to the precinct and wrap up some cases. You should stop by, I'm sure the rest of the guys would be happy to see you."

You clear up your area, bid them goodbye and head out, still trying to figure out why Jason seemed familiar.

As you were leaving Jason turned to Dick, "I feel like I know that guy." 

"Well yeah I just introduced you to him," Dick said sarcastically as he popped the last bite of his pizza crust in his mouth. 

"No smartass I feel I know him from somewhere but I can't tell where... Anyways... All we ever gonna talk about what happened last week?" 

"No Jason. We are never going to talk about what happened," Dick spat back, "but I do have a lead on where Mistletoe and Ivy might be going tomorrow night." 

"And where's that?" Jason said confused.

"Y/N mentioned a big botanist convention a few towns over this weekend.

"Did he? I kind of zoned out during all that boring science talk," Jason said finishing his own pizza. 

"It sounds like there's gonna be some pretty rare plants there that Ivy and Mistletoe won't be able to resist seeing for themselves."

"Great... so we have to go and watch a bunch of stupid plants..." Jason muttered. He did admit that Dick had a point, rare plants were like drugs to Ivy and her hot sidekick.

What the fuck? Jason thought. Did I just call a bad guy hot? Especially one that...

Jason stopped thinking as he felt his cock stir in his pants.

"Son of a-" He curses.

"What?" Dick asks. "What the hell? What are you thinking about? Actually don't answer that we need to tell Bruce about this lead. Lets go."

After Bruce gave them the go ahead to scope out the convention the two walked around the main floor with the fake badges Alfred had made them. 

Dick was on high alert taking note of which plants were of highest value while Jason was bored out of his mind. 

Dick overheard a pair of botanists mention the genetically engineered one of a kind plant being held in a locked room upstairs only those with VIP badges could get into. 

"We need to go upstairs," Dick told Jason. 

"Great I could use a snack break," Jason said in relief. 

"No you idiot, Ivy and Mistletoe are going to be after this so called one of a kind plant." 

Dick and Jason snuck into the master exhibit but all of the guards were laying the floor passed out. 

Dick leaned down, putting two fingers to one of the guards necks, "he still has a pulse, they must be here already"

"Really? What was your first clue?"

"Just keep an eye out." Dick ordered.

They fanned out, heads on swivels as they worked towards the VIP section, finding more unconscious botanists along the way.

"It's a beautiful plant, Ivy... How long until the bird brigade is gonna show up?"

"Not long... I trust you can handle them?" A female voice said. No doubt obviously Ivy.

"Sure thing."

The sound of shattering glass made the vigilantes rush toward the sounds of your voices only to barge into an empty room.

"Where did they go?" Robin asked.

"It's so good to see you again boys," you said from behind them. 

The duo turned around but you already had vines shooting towards them. 

Nightwing was able to deflect the vine with his staff, Robin however was trapped once more. 

"Not again," he mumbled struggling to break free while Nightwing bolted towards you.

You and Nightwing fought but in the end you had managed to capture him in another web of vines. 

"I see you two are making me work for it this time," you said sighed.

"What do you and Ivy want with those plants?!" Robin barked.

"Ugh... really? Shop talk? What? Do you think I'm gonna monologue Ivy's plan so you can run and tell the Bat what we plan to do? No... I'm gonna have some more fun."

You snap your fingers and the boys are blasted with another cloud of pollen.

All of a sudden the boys started to feel hot, uncomfortably so.

"What... what did you... do..." Nightwing says between pants, sweat starting to form.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough. But I better give us some more privacy."

You reach into a small pouch on your hip, pulling out a few seeds, tossing them around the room, vines sprouting and blocking the exits.

"This time I plan on having my way with you," you said pulling Nightwings pants down exposing his ass. 

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you whispered in his ear as you toyed with his entrance with your fingertips. 

"Don't fucking stop," Nightwing grunted, groaning as you pushed your cock inside him while making direct eye contact with Robin.

"Oh fuck... you're tight... Tell me. Do you like the feeling of my cock in your ass?" You punctuate the sentence by nibbling on Nightwing's ear.

"Yes... yes I do. Oh god. Please keep moving!"

You hum in agreement, licking the shell of his ear as you slowly increase your pace, still keeping eye contact with Robin. You can see something in his eyes... envy.

"You doing okay over there Robin? You enjoy watching me fuck your partner? Or do you wish it was you I had my cock inside of? I remember that dirty little secret you told me the last time we met."

"Please... Fuck me," Robin begged. 

You pulled out of Nightwing, positioning yourself behind Robin and tugging his pants down. 

"What a nice ass you have," you said giving it a firm smack. 

Robin sighed but it turned into a moan when you roughly pushed your cock inside of him. 

“Oh wow! You both feel amazing” you say, thrusting into robin’s ass. “This is the first time anyone’s ever fucked either of you isn't it?”

“Yes.” Both boys moan.

You run your hands around Robin’s front, hands on his chest under his shirt.

You continue to push in and out of Robin, occasionally snapping your hips.

Robin moans in time with your thrusting, slowly becoming more and more undone.

Without even having to touch his cock he was cumming hard while you continued thrusting through his release. 

You could tell Nightwing was just as close to his own climax so you returned your attention to the original sidekick, getting on your knees in front of him and taking his cock in your mouth, tasting the cum already leaking from him.

You hollow out your cheeks and suck on the leaking cock, taking it to the base as it starts to twitch violently, shooting rope after rope of hot cum down your throat.

“Oh shit!” Nightwing moans as you suck every last drop from him. You pull away licking your lips and then go back to Robin lapping up the leftover cum from his sensitive cock.

“Ah! Fuck...”

“Well... that was delicious boys.  And impressive. I mean. Boy wonder came without me even touching him. Anything you wanna say? Did you have fun?”

"Best... Night... Ever..." Robin said exhausted from his orgasm. 

"Good to hear, maybe I'll let you cum again if you act like a good boy," you teased. 

"Mistletoe," a deep voice said behind you. 

"Batman," you sighed turning around, "you always have to ruin the fun." 

"What did you do to Nightwing and Robin," he questioned. 

"Nothing that they didn't want me to do," you grinned.

Batman looks over to his sidekicks, still bound in vines, pants around their ankles.

“I’m sure... where’s Ivy and the plant?”

“Look, like I told the bird twins. I’m not telling ya. Now. I got stuff to do and you have other things to deal with. Ta-ta!” 

You throw down more seeds that release another bout of pollen while many vines converge on Batman allowing you to make your escape.

“See you soon boys!” You shout, voice gradually getting quieter.

The Bat would’ve chased after you if he wasn’t worried about Nightwing and Robin... he was thankful there was more pollen left to take and analyze.

"Are you guys alright?" Bruce asked them as they checked on the red marks around their wrists left from the vines. 

"I'm fine, a little embarrassed," Dick grumbled. 

"I'm not that was the best orgasm I've ever had," Jason said proudly making Bruce shake his head in disgust. 

"Let's go back to the cave, maybe I'll be able to find something in this pollen you didn't," Bruce said trying to change the subject. 

"Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Poison Ivy and Mistletoe," Dick stated. 

To be continued...

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

[notalwaysthevillian]

Brewing Love

Warnings: Kissing, allusions to nsfw, food mention

Pairings: Remile; background Logicality, eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: ~1.4k

Read from the beginning!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 7

The rest of the month seemed to whip by. Before Remy could blink, he was sitting on the curb in front of his apartment with his friends, waiting to meet his new roommate.

“Oh, I can’t wait to meet him!” Emile bounced on her toes, silver fabric of her dress bouncing with her. “What’s he like, Patton?”

The bubbly man lit up at the opportunity to talk about his friend. “Virgil is great! He’s a little sarcastic and it takes him a bit to open up to people. But once you’re his friend, he’ll do anything for you.”

A moving van pulled up, cutting off all conversation.

The man who stepped out was not someone Remy could’ve pictured Patton being friends with. His purple hair was shaved on the sides and left long on the top, barely reaching to the top of his eyebrows. The hoodie he was wearing looked handmade. Patches were expertly sewn on, giving it a bit of a ragtag look. Yet somehow it fit with his skinny jeans and combat boots.

“Virgil!”

Virgil barely managed to stabilize himself before he had an armful of Patton. The two of them giggled as they nearly fell over.

Logan’s fond sigh was expected.

Roman’s was not.

Turning, Remy saw the heart eyes directed at Virgil. He grinned, having a feeling it would be all too easy to get the two of them together.

That feeling grew as Virgil locked eyes with Roman and blushed.

It took them the rest of the afternoon to get Virgil moved into the spare bedroom. Since there were quite a few of them, Virgil had been told not to worry about hiring movers. He apologized multiple times as they hauled his furniture upstairs, but was reassured at every turn.

As Roman walked in with a nightstand, Remy pulled out his laptop. “Who’s down for pizza?”

“Me!” Patton and Emile shouted in unison.

Logan rolled up the sleeves on his button down and ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose we do need sustenance.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Remy could see Virgil hovering. “V, what kind of pizza do you like?”

“I don’t care as long as there’s no pineapple.”

A loud gasp grabbed everybody’s attention. Roman threw a hand over his chest. “You don’t like pineapple on pizza? You wound me.”

“Does he always talk like that?” Virgil asked, turning to Patton.

Logan nodded. “Ever since he played the Prince in our college production of Into the Woods.”

“Alright, so a medium pizza with just pineapple for the wounded prince, a large pepperoni, and a large sausage?” Remy asked, double checking the order.

Patton let out a giggle and whispered something to Logan, making his face turn three shades of red.

Knowing if he asked it would be something about Logan’s...sausage, Remy continued with the order. The tracker started blinking. “Alright, it should be here within half an hour.”

Grabbing Logan’s hand, Patton pulled him over to one of the armchairs. As the two of them got comfortable, Roman took the other end of the couch, leaving the other chair open for Virgil.

“I think we should get to know our new friend.” Roman leaned back. “How do you feel about truth or dare?”

“Must we play such a childish game?” Logan shifted, wrapping his arms around Patton’s waist. “Can’t we just ask Virgil questions about his life?”

“Yeah, that sounds way better than your suggestion, Princey.”

“Princey?”

“It suits you.” Virgil smirked.

The five of them started asking questions. Virgil told them about his first pet (a lizard named Gizzard), where he went to college (Florida State), and plenty of other personal tidbits.

“Who was your first kiss?” Roman asked. Remy wouldn’t have been surprised if he batted his eyelashes as he did.

Virgil turned fire engine red. “Um...it was…mmhp.”

“What was that?” Logan leaned forward, resting his chin on Patton’s shoulder.

“It was, um. It was Patton.”

“What?!”

Roman’s outburst made Virgil jump and blush harder. The poor guy was nearing purple at this point.

“He was worried about kissing someone that would turn out to be a jerk.” Patton explained, intertwining his fingers with Logan’s. “So I offered.”

“Do you still like our Pattycake?”

“Roman, that’s not an appropriate question.” Logan snapped, before turning to Virgil. “I feel as though I must reassure you. Anything that happened between you and Patton happened long before we met. I hold no hostility towards you. Patton is an excellent kisser.”

“Aww, Lo!” Twisting around, Patton straddled his boyfriend and started kissing him.

Remy could see Virgil watching, looking somewhere between confused and weirded out. “Yeah, that’s something you’ll have to get used to. When it comes to each other, they kind of forget there’s other people in the room.”

“Patton and Logan, sitting in a tree…” Roman sang.

The couple broke apart just as there was a knock on the door. Roman got up and headed to the door. Virgil moved, taking the vacant spot on the couch.

“I never got to thank you for letting me stay here.”

Remy waved a hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about paying rent until you find a job.”

“Remy, I can’t -”

“Gurl, I’ve been paying for this alone anyway. A few more weeks, months, whatever - it’s not gonna put a dent in my piggy bank.”

Emile pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re so generous.”

“Have you ever worked as a barista? I’m sure Logan could afford to pay another person.” Roman set the pizza down on the coffee table next to some paper plates and grabbed his box. “Lord knows they have the business for it.”

“I don’t know if I could handle something like that.” Virgil grabbed a slice. “People can be really rude when it comes to food service.”

The rest of them exchanged amused looks.

Logan cleared his throat. “Virgil, how would you like a job where you’re allowed to talk back to the customers?”

“That doesn’t exist.”

“Did Patton not tell you about our business?”

Wiping sauce off his chin, Virgil shook his head. “No, he just said you own a coffee shop.”

Leaving Logan to explain the ins and outs of what they did, Remy grabbed some pizza for himself and Emile. Holding it out, he fed her a few bites before eating it himself.

“Hey!” She protested, trying to grab it back. “That’s my piece.”

“It’s mine now.”

Shaking her head at his antics, Emile leaned in. She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him deeply, making his head swim.

Before promptly stealing his pizza.

“Em!”

She giggled, taking a large bite. “Hmm?”

“What were you saying earlier about us tuning others out?” Logan asked, a twinkling glint in his eye.

Remy raised an eyebrow. “I’ve walked in on you and Patton having -”

“Okay, okay!”

“That’s what I thought.” Remy said with a laugh.

Cheeks burning, Logan turned back to Virgil. “As I was saying, if you’d like a job there, it’s yours.”

“Can I come in and see what it’s like first? Before I decide?” Virgil bit his nail, stopping when Patton gave him a stern look.

Logan nodded. “Of course. Just let me know and you can shadow Remy for a day.”

“How about Monday?” Virgil set his empty plate down next to the nearly empty pizza box. “That way I can settle in.”

“Monday is perfect.”

After finishing off the pizza, Logan, Patton, and Roman all headed out. Roman took the rest of his box, shooting a mock glare at Virgil - who responded by sticking out his tongue.

“V, do you mind if Emile stays over?” Remy asked as he broke down the pizza boxes.

Virgil shook his head. “As long as you guys aren’t loud.”

“Oh, we’re not - we haven’t, um…” Blood rushed to his face as he struggled to get the words out. “We’re just sleeping. I swear.”

Virgil filled up a cup with water, gave Remy a nod, and disappeared into his bedroom.

Emile walked out of Remy’s bedroom, her duck slippers quacking with every step. She rubbed her eyes, blindly reaching for Remy.

Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her off to bed.

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[sharkmobster]

spider verse coffee shop au??

Anon im sorry i wanted to draw the coffeeshop au but ive been so tired lately so imma just overshare about what goes down bc this au is just (thick tombstone voice) : “everybody’s traumatized bitch lets get you a latte”

 • this au is incredibly villain centric bc uhhhhh all i do is think about villains

 • its also very aaron davis centric bc time to project my anxiety onto a grown ass man babey!!

 • anyway this takes place in a normal world where there’s no superheros or avengers or what have you, everyone’s super average 

• like i said this is more or less aaron centric and focuses on him readjusting to society and making connections with other people, and just healing in general. Aaron’s whole deal is that he was wrongfully arrested for defending himself against an off duty cop who was harassing him and ended up with a 10 year sentence  (but was let off a year earlier for good behaviour). He’s got a lot of guilt bc of this if only for the fact that he feels like he let down his brother and Miles (who was a small lad at the time).

 • Fun Fact! Jefferson was the one that picked up Aaron at the jail when he served out his sentence! The ride back to brooklyn was awkward! but also jefferson loves his brother and even tho they’ve had their falling outs he never once stopped believing that his brother was innocent. Jefferson also made sure to pull some strings and ended up getting an apartment set up for Aaron (even though jefferson and rio were 100% down to open their home to him for as long as it took him to get back onto his feet but of course aaron denied them bc he didnt want to be a burden) Aaron’s grateful but he tends to avoid his own family…a lot….

• it’s ridiculously hard to find a job bc nobody wants to hire an ex convict no matter the circumstances and Aaron’s legitimately about to lose hope when he spots an expensive looking shop nestled in between an old arcade and a knick knack shop

 • ‘Vanessa’s Cafe’ is neatly printed above the door in fancy gold lettering. it’s obvious that the owner has serious cash bc the shop looks too damn good and too well maintained to be a regular mom and pop shop. there’s a help wanted sign hastily scribbled on a piece of notebook paper in the middle of the window which is odd since it off sets the professional vibe of the place. But hey it’s worth a shot so Aaron walks in ready to be denied another job only to find the weirdest looking group of people he’s ever seen.

 • The first guy that catches his attention is the very large albino man who looks way too stressed out and manic to be working in a coffeeshop, but the job must pay well because he’s very well dressed.

 • “Liv, for fuck’s sake! Clean your goddamn station!” he’s whisper shouting? Is that even a thing? oh look at that he’s got a full set of razor sharp teeth. huh. that’s a hell of an aesthetic he’s going for.

 • The lady in question isn’t even giving him the time of day, just enthralled by her phone with a smile that looks too peaceful given what’s happening around her. She’s got wild hair tied up messily in a knitted bandana, weird glasses (custom made??) and when she glances up at aaron, her eyes widen in interest like he’s some anomaly to be cracked open. aaron looks anywhere that isnt the wild eyed lady at the counter.

• Theres another big guy that’s hanging around the back, heavily tattooed and lifting stacks of heavy boxes. Aaron takes notice of his prosthetic hand and the tattoo guy takes notice of Aaron. 

• “Lonnie. Customer.” The Tattoo guy seems nonplussed about Aaron and walks into the back. aaron assumes that he’s offended him by staring at his prosthetic for longer than necessary which yeah….yeah he’s probably not happy about the staring. 

 • lonnie’s got a bad case of resting bitch face so he’s glaring at aaron without actually glaring and he’s just rough around ALL the edges so his tones got that nice bite to it as he shouts from across the counter (which is not something you do to a customer but it’s lonnie…..)  "Hey! Ya looking for a job, skinny jeans?!“

 • Aaron blanches at the idea of working with these people but he is absolutely desperate for a job at this point.

 •"Yeah. I just got out of-”

 •"Great, you’re hired! We’re speed running this whole introduction thing, string bean.“

 •and that’s all i got other than like small details like:

 •Peter B Parker owns a ”“’'cafe”“” across from Vanessa’s and its literally just a burger joint that h a p p e n s to sell coffee and Parker will fight you if you call his place a deli ahdhdj

 •Liv and May are dating (big shock) and peter b has to constantly deal with seeing his competition over at his place all the time and it’s yikes

 • Tombstone and Noir will 100% throw hands on contact. They don’t hate each other tho??? Its weird they just like to fight. gives them a chance to work on their banter i guess. Noir works the coffee machine at Peter’s “'cafe”’ so i guess he’s the “”barista”” of the joint but he drinks the coffee more than the customers do

 • Miles and the rest of the spider kids “”“”“"intern”“”“” at the cafe which basically translates to free labor

 •  spider ham works there but he isnt a pig he’s just john mulaney. i know its weird. nobody actually sees him tho so he’s a complete mystery as to what he looks like so he could be john mulaney you never know. the only person who’s seen him is noir and that’s only bc they’re  a thing???

 •oh speaking of everyone being gay:  everyone’s gay

 • Lonnie and Gargan (tombstone and scorpion) are 100% dating but everyone legitimately thinks that the both of them are straight old men despite the fact that they live together, go to work together, hang out afterwards together, and they’re just always together

 • lonnie’s  daughter (janice)  visits every other week (def the product of a divorce he went through years ago) she’s alright with gargan but she’s very distant towards her dad and def has that teen angst phase that she’s going through

 • (lonnie can and will talk to you for hours about how much he loves and supports his daughter despite the fact that their relationship is very estranged)

 • you can find janice hanging out with the cute blond punk girl at that weird burger/coffee place across the street

 • oh gargan’s big and strong despite the fact that he’s missing three limbs, liv works in robotics on the side and constantly tweaks and repairs his prosthetics when they start acting up which leads to them having this weird friendship where they both borrow each other when they need something and dont really expect anything in return (like gargan’s good for getting her supplies and doing heavy lifting when she needs it and liv’s always down to run check ups on gargan)

 • oh yeah liv used to be a scientist but immediately lost her license and phd when she started going above some board members heads to buy less than legal things through super illegal sources

.• that’s another thing, kingpin tends to just hire ex cons and criminals to work in his cafe just bc he believes that a person willing to work hard to better themselves deserves a chance to re enter society again.

 • like they’ve all done bad things but still ended up with a job at the cafe. aaron fought a cop, liv did some shady deals for an illegal experiment, gargan used to run a drug ring years ago due to personal reasons but once he was free from jail he never dealt with the stuff again, and lonnie killed a dude (allegedly. he never went to jail bc they couldn’t prove anything but hey word spread around quick and everyone knew not to go anywhere near this guy)

 • kingpin is in this au btw he’s just……a very depressed man who’s still grieving over his wife and son dying in a car accident

.• he rarely shows up to run the cafe bc its too much for him being in the place that his wife loved and built up from the ground. he used to be the manager after she died but couldn’t handle it and mostly left lonnie to take care of it

• which holy fuck lonnie is trying his best to keep this cafe alive and well and there’s only two other people working there so like its enough to have him scrambling all over the place trying to find more help (thanks aaron)

 •miles doesn’t know aaron’s working at the cafe across the street and aaron def wants it that way bc even tho he’s out of jail he hasn’t actually……visited miles yet….. it’s the shame that’s keeping aaron from reaching out to him which is….sad bc miles doesn’t care what happened he just wants his uncle back.

 • oh oh one more thing RIPeter used to run the deli across the street but had to leave brooklyn to go volunteer at homeless shelters across the states indefinitely so theres no telling when he’ll be back, so he left the cafe under the guidance of pb parker (peter b parker voice: my cafe now)

 •and uhhh thats all i got, like i said this au is just found family trope + the healing we all want + bad people getting redemption which is all the tropes that i love all compacted together in the most cliche au you can imagine!

[strawberryybird]

Me sees the character songs post, immediately wants to know what character songs you have for the characters and why.

ok so. welcome to the rabbit hole that is my music taste and what is my no.1 most frequently done activity.. plastering emotions i have for fictional characters all over my music taste. I restricted myself to ¾ songs for each character & then to Edie, Hubert, Dorothea, Lysithea & Byleth because otherwise we’d be here all day (and those are the Primary Daydream Candidates rn)

under a rm because as im sure we’ve all seen.. i just don’t fucking stop.. also i got weirdly deep about some of these topics. i don’t know how to tag it. tread careful?

Here are some songs.. welcome to my (notoriously bad) music taste. alsoi go in Very heavy handed about it all. i make only a few apologies:

Edelgard:Everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears. (ucan go with Lorde’s cover but i prefer the original bc im like that.) i meanit’s pretty heavy handed but it’s such an Edelgard song it !!!! fuels my ficwriting. if it’s not so very Edelgard’s relationship with twsitd then idk whatto tell you. plus it’s an iconic song

Medicine - daughter. (daughter is My Favourite Band. Ever. I cannot articulate how much ilove their (and ex:re’s) music!!) anway. this is a hegegard song & i don’ttake constructive criticism. I’ll reiterate this better in other descriptions,but please don’t take my inclusion of a song about such a topic as adevaluation of it in any way, that’s not my intention. The reason I go so feralfor Hegegard is because im no stranger to watching someone you care about hurt themselvesin a way you can’t stop, and that’s what the AM ending evokes in me. Hence: asong I love that one can read the same story in. And then the lyrics ‘You couldstill be / What you want to / What you said you were / When I met you” just !! parallelsEdge of Dawn’s lyrics about regret & overall I’m very feral about this.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - blue oystercult. this is PRIME Edelgard telling freshly-awokenbyleth she’s been waging war for 5 years. also !!!! “Seasonsdon’t fear the reaper / Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be likethey are” >>> “The Edge of Dawn (Seasons ofWarfare) (フレスベルグの少女～風花雪月～,lit. Girl of Hresvelg ~Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon~)” .. the link is tenuous but coincidence?? is it, fuck.

Seneca - Novo Amor. this is another one of those songs that could mean something different to everyone. very easy to project onto, is novo amor. I like the story of being prepared to run and break ties at any given moment, but ending up - emotionally or physically - in the same place one always was. apart from the glaring tie of how Edelgard returned to garreg mach, this song is a lot of me trying to repatriate Edelgard’s lack of emotional arc in the game by saying . well. this song. 

You can call me Al -  paul simon. am i projecting edeleth thoughts onto my favourite song? it’s morelikely than you think!!! but also i like the chorus and all the exasperating ‘call me el’jokes i can make.. i may be half writing a fic based on this song.

Dorothea:Agnes - glass animals. so i have significant emotions about edelthea at the best of times !! and this song !!! really bloody hits it home !! yes I knowit’s got a really heavy and real subject matter and I’m not trying to devalueit or minimise it.. but the story - about watching someone close to you hurtthemselves/get hurt, and doing so in ways you can’t stop them from - is adamn real one. And a Lot of why I love Dorothea’s character in the gamebecause she’s the one who can’t stop her friends from getting hurt – through exposureto warfare .. or  stopping Edelgard becomingthe monster at the end of the story. Even though she’s one of the healers onthe beagle’s team. And I feel that.

Ex’s and Oh’s – Elle King. So you know that one spn fanvid featuringthis song about all of dean winchester’s relationships? That, but for my flirting Queen Dorothea Arnault. (and I have the dumbest most fun little headcanon thatonce Dorothea and Sylvain derailed a lgbt+ society meeting whilst Edie wastrying to go over the budget by blasting this song and dancing on the table.The idea makes me laugh)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra. The whole thing about wanting just that onemoment to cherish the people you love for one moment more before you have goout face the world? If that’s not the timeskip’d Dorothea Arnault Aesthetic, Idon’t know what is.

(Call Me Out – sea girls. On a much lighter note, this song is fueling the later half of mydrafts of road trip au. And it’s literally because of that one verse. im gayshut up.)

Hubert:Red Right Hand – nick cave and the bad seeds. Is it on the nose? Is itheavy handed? Oh u fuckin bet but that won’t stop me!!! A) it’s a good song. ItIs. B) I like narrative songs. C) Any ‘red right hand’ symbolism in Anycharacter has me love them immediately and also plonk this song in the middleof any playlist about them. sure, the artic monkeys version might be a bit more on hubert’s brand.. but my mileage varies about it lmao

I had fortress by bear’s den earmarked for Hubie, as I think it’s easilyread about boundaries and a one sided intense relationship & that’s! Hubiebaybee! But I can’t possibly cover unhealthy relationships without shoving thealbum Hospice by The Antlers into every which way of it. It’s by no meansdirectly translatable to Edelgard and hubert’s relationship and it’s arguable ifI should even mention it in the same sentence as a bloody fictional character… that beingsaid, I’ve been having emotions about:Shiva – the antlers. This song specifically reads to me to be a really goodarticulation of my own thoughts about Hubert’s perspective of Edie getting experimentedon. heavy but damn. I like that. I just see a lot of what their teen years togethermust have been like in Shiva.

Time – Pink Floyd. Ok so.. it’s like Hubert in parallel bc I think thissong is a lot about searching for a purpose/reason or a quote unquote bloodyred path in life. And I may have been listening to it when I watched Hubert/DorotheaA support & now it’s just permanently associated with it bc it complementedit so well. And I like it. So . it stays. It’s very much a beagles song to meas well.

Lysithea:The Beautiful Dream – George Ezra. Ok so I read this Edelysithea ficwith this on repeat bc the title reminded me of it, and then I stuck it onrepeat because it worked too well and now.. im crying.. and i like the inflection of Lysithea’s bitterness over the titular lyric. (but also, it remains one of my steadfast edeleth songs.. sorry lys)

Secrets (Cellar Door) – Radical Face. Another Edelgard&/Lysitheasong!! I really like their relationship ok. And given the song itself can beread straight or an allegory for whatever you particularly want, but the storyis just too on the nose for me not to mention it here.(also general advocation of listening to the whole of radical face’s musicbecause I’ve loved it for years now & the work is beautiful.) (also it’swonderful for fe awakening projection. Or ur own.)

Oh Children – nick cave and the bad seeds. there’s a million different interpretations of this song, but to try nail a few onto Lysithea.. there’s the harry potter use of making/finding a light in the depths of tragedy & i love that for Lys. there’s the whole ‘the kids aren’t alright’ theme and it’s various depths. and i like narrative lyrics to plaster my large fictional-character-caused-emotions onto, so make of this one what you will.

Marianne (and Lysithea too if you like)Bad Blood – Radical Face. Ok so. This is one of my favourite songs in bloodyexistence, and it’s so loaded with meaning & it has a metric tonne of it. Icould wax lyrical about how much I love Radical Face’s work. I don’t want myinclusion of this song (specifically this one) to in any way devalue it. Butmusic is ofc incredibly subjective, and so is my reading of a lot of threehouses – in case it’s not bloody obvious by now. There’s a Lot of stories onecould take from Marianne’s character (and none of them are More Valid^tm thanany other), and I do see a very personal story in her – as I do in this song. Hgghhghive just spent 10 minutes trying to find an impersonal way to talk about twovery personal and relative stories, which naturally doesn’t work. That, and theway I read her story is Real Fucking Dicey for tumblr.com. so if this song is about accepting rejection because of parts of yourself so deep they’re in your blood, i think.. y’all can see.. where my neurodivergent gay self is going with this..

Byleth:Something to Believe In – Tom Walker. Yeah. You’re bloody welcome. If this isn’ta completely on the nose Byleth song, I’ll eat Dorothea’s hat.

Don’t Let the Man – Fatboy Slim. ~ And the sign said green-hairedpartially possessed emotionally void mercenaries need not apply for aprofessorship at the country’s most prestigious academic centre… ~

Emigrate - Novo Amor. this just fucking Got Me in the ‘actively choosing crimson flower’ feelings. im an emotional wreak but its aight. the lyrics just matched up too well for me to let it go !!!

Alps - Novo Amor. this hit me in the ‘i miss the gremlin child sothis’ feelings one day and now it’s permanently stuck that way.

Make Them Gold – chvrches. (this is very much associated with awakening’sfuture past kids and also the Carmilla series in my mind But!!) I love a story about‘if we’re all falling, we’re going down together’ and the magical power of teamwork, and how it brings out the best in people.. & that’s what this song& Byleth kinda bloody stand for ya know??

woooh.. oh my god . i need another cup of tea.

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x13 (300th) Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giu)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

“Dad’s on a hunting trip- 

[shuts laptop]

Giu: It’s already a no from me

uuugh ok [opens laptop]

“-and he hasn’t been home in a few days “

Zee: That’s when I fell in love

Kat : I fell in love at “easy tiger”

Nat: He looks like a demon

Giu: he does

sign under the register: your baby daddy sitting in jail? Sell your gold and get bail. 

wow.

S: we are looking for the good stuff.

me searching for men

Kat : I need that wad of money, And the man attached to it

Giu: SAM

Zee : So done

Nat: Dean's done

Kat : That was so Jared lol

D.”No you didn’t”

Kat: Oh shit Dean. All sexy business

Giu: They not happy

Kat : FIRE

Giu: NOT THE HAIR NOT THE HAIR

[pauses video] TUMMY! [presses play again]

Giu: HE’S A BIG BOY

Zee : Turn his back to dean?

Nat&Kat: They always talk too much

Nat: he stole my line

Nat: PLAGIARISM

Nat: don't put that in

Giu: I’m gonna put that in

Nat: no

The smoke coming out the gun tho. I love that gun.

Zee : Put that down dean

Giu: Dean don’t touch things

In what goddamn dystopian fantasy a theater in 2019 show Beetlejuice? because I wanna live there.

Giu: I want that jacket. Doesn’t it look like the family business jacket?

Zee : I want that car,with everything in it

Giu: ...AND ON IT

Nat: I want that man

Giu: lol it’s like the Winchesters are some sort of the mean girls of town. 

The Campbell brothers are scary. They have two shotguns and a strange silver blade. 

I hear the tall one hair's insured for $. 

I hear the other one has a tinder account. His favorite music can be heard from miles before coming into town.

One time, they met god. And he stayed at their house. One time, they killed Hitler. It was awesome.

Kat : I WANT THE MEN

-” The Campbell brothers “  [sobs]

D:”Make it double”

Oh look the Family Business stuff again

S:” John Wayne Gacy cigar box” 

uh that’s not good. 

“Jack and Cass are out with Jules and her crew. When they’re back they can help us cataloging “ [already excited] 

D:” aWeSoME”

- “Where did they even came from? them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat” 

I love how before the boy Eliot talked about hearing stuff from the trunk of the car and I did not even bat an eye, because.....yeah...probably happened more than once.

Giu&Kat: Dumb bambi look

- Max:” It doesn’t mean they kidnapped bigfoot or whatever “

that could have happened too .

How did I miss all this gay vibes between the girls before?

Giu: anyway that is unrealistic, those girls would be drooling after those two.

Nat: Nah, they're too old for them

me at myself editing the commentary: they lesbian, bitch .

Nat: Max is trouble, isn't she

Kat: Don’t touch my baby’s car teen bitch

Zee : Why is sam so hot here?

Nat: BABY

- D;” No,no, no, no”

Zee : Oh the bitch did

Giu: THEY DED

Giu: DON T MOVE YESSIR

-S *thinks of the kids*

D: “Swear to God if anything happens to that car-” *thinks murder*

Giu: Meanwhile dean is having panic attacks

Nat&Giu&Kat: I don't wanna die. lol

Giu: TRIPLE PLAGIARISM

Kat: Stop Omg

Nat: We should stop

Zee : Look at those puppy eyes

- “So you want me to give you an underage girl’s address?” 

Nat: hahahahahahhahahahahaha i like that woman

D:”Marta, how’s that grandson of yours?”

“if you could help us out I would, I would really appreciate it”

“Please”

Zee : I’d melt

Kat: THAT TAP

Nat: I mean...helloooooo

Giu: There goes her values

Nat: I would tell him everything and more

Zee : Giuls the hand gif. Please and thank you

- you want my address too?

Kat: He’s putting the moves

Kat: Their lips are extra pink

-Yeah but like...I would have melt with Sam too honestly.

SKIP DAY!  aaaah the memories, we had skip days once a month.

Giu: OH NO

Zee : They dumb

Giu: i wouldn’t touch that creepy fuck teddy bears

Giu: can I slap some sense in those bitches

Giu: GACY FUCK NO

Nat: Baby, please tell me you're not hurt

Kat: BABY BABY

D: “ FBI everybody out” 

me : ....arrest me.

Giu: Sam: no fuck clown

Kat: Serial killer clown

Nat: Sammy, I think you need to get away

Kat: Best and worst thing ever

- D:” ‘Cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns” 

eh same .

Zee : look how happy he is

D:” Sam....today”

Kat: HURRRY UP SAMMEH

D: “....Hey! “

Nat: Dean Bean

Kat: Adorable bean

Zee: We’re damn good at why we do

Nat: They're going all dad on them

Kat: It’s hot

- S:” You sure don’t wanna call Mom here? or Cass?”

 D:” No because if it works , great, if not, why get their hopes up?”

Zee : Hello

Nat: JOHN

Kat: SHIT SHIT. SHIT Kicking their asses lol

Giu: My eyes are sweating

Nat: I got Negan vibes lol

? : “Don’t you move” 

[chills]

Zee : That’s another Daddy

Giu: HE LOOKS GOOD

J: “What in the hell”

J: “Sammy, aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

Nat: Palo Alto. Oh god.

Giu: Good god [sobs]

J: “What happened to you?”  when did you stretch like that

Nat: It's 2003

Kat: It’s very difficult

J:”You saved the world?”

Zee : More than once

Giu: We died....more than once

Zee : Look at that precious face

D:”I think he’d be real happy to know you are finally here”

- Glad they mentioned Henry, I miss him.

S:” We are legacies because of you”

J.” I just wish that I had been there to see it”

Nat: Awww the look on Sammy

Nat: It fucking breaks my heart alright

D:”Non of this would have happened without you”

J:” It’s good, it’s fine. I went out taking out yellow eyes. That was the point. Get the thing that killed Mom”

Giu: im not ready for what.’s coming

Zee : Me neither

Kat: So much sobbing

Nat: What are you talking about. I'm not ready for the whole damn episode

Giu: STOP WITH THE MUSIC

Zee : Brace yourselves

- J [desperately softly]:” ...Mary?”

Giu: OH NO FUCKING JDM

Nat: Oh god NO

Zee : Oh fuck you

Giu: FUCK MY LIFE. FREAKING ACTING SKILLS.

Nat: FUCK OFF

Zee : IM SCREAMING HERE

Nat: THE BOYS...lol

D:” I’m freaking out”

No Dean, I’m freaking out. And I already know, looking at Sam face, what’s coming.

Nat: "I wanted this man"

D:” I wanted this since I was 4 years old”

I CAN T

Zee: One family dinner

Nat: NO DEAN BEAN PLEASE Sammy is right

Kat: He is but it hurts. So much

Nat: TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME

oH....Sammy and Daddy time. Can I skip?

Look at John fucking face!! he’s already so proud.

S:” Dean and I tried to make that once” [nervous laughter]

[John’s face falls] 

Zee : Here come regrets

J:”i...I remember “

Sam’s like...”you do?”

J: “ I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I?”

The noise and expression and breathing Jared choose to made here is worth more than any words

Nat: GOD, SAM YOU PRECIOUS BEAN

S:” no, that’s okay”

J:”No, it’s not”

[me bathing into the holy light of jesus] yeeeees thank you 

Sam looks so uncomfortable.

J: “You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left” 

ooooh John is trying so hard tho.

S: “..Dad...” [pauses like he can’t believe he can say that again]

me hitting myself : stop doing this to yourself bitch.

S: “ yeah...you know what? you did some messed up things”

S: “When I think about you....and I think about you a lot..[voice cracks]”

S:”I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye”

Giu: fuck NOPE I’M OUT

Kat: *drags you back*

Giu: *fights it*

Zee: I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Kat: I can’t i can’t I can’t

Giu: JARED STOP

Nat: FUCK JARED WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD

Nat: JARED STAHP

Kat: JARED IS INCREDIBLE

J: “Sam....[touches him]”

S: [gets almost scared when John touches him]

and now a change of camera so you can see more hurt

Nat: FUCK THIS I'M GOING OUT WITH YOU GIULS

Kat: I’ll tie you down

Zee: Can this fucking music just stop

Giu: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME MERCY? it’s 8:40am it’s too early for this

Kat: FUCK YOU JARED PADALECKI

Giu: STOP CRYIG

Giu: ahahahaahahhahahahaahah imma have a heart attack

Nat: SHIT NO FUCK THIS

Giu: Im forgetting english and spelling

J: “Son...I am so sorry”

Zee: That’s enough

Nat: YOU FOUGHT FOR US THAT'S ENOUGH

Giu: CLOSURE

Nat: what's english i'll start to groan in german soon

Zee: I’ll swear in Greek

Giu: I’m already gesturing in italian anyway

S:”Want some company?”

Nat: I get the booze you get the food, I want that bumper sticker

Nat: Why doesn't he remember?What the fuck is happening

Giu: The surnaaaame

Kat: YOU’LL SEE THE SHIT IT HAPPENING

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Blue steel

Nat: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giu: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Never forget

Nat: WANNA BE TED TALK

Nat: PROFESSOR JARED

Giu: GOD BLESS KALE (Misha wrote that)

Kat: THE TURTLENECK

hot take: that’s Misha’s turtle neck

Nat: THE GLASSES

D:”No, no , it gets worse”

TEDTalk!Sam is an empty shell. I hate it.

Kat: THE SLICKED BACK HAIR

Giu: Lotta beheadings

Zee : Can Jared stop being hotter in this ep?

D:”Well, I’m cool but you are  ugh”

Giu: I saw enough doctor who to know what is Sam talking about.

S:” If all is different, then what else changed”

Giu: OH.

Zee : Oh no

Nat: Zach is also ugh

Giu: NO GO AWAY

Giu: HEY BABE

- GUESS WHO NEVER FOUGHT IN HELL AND RAISED SOME SALTY ASS FROM PERDITION???

Z:”Earth ...where you are always stepping in something”

I mean, he’s not wrong

Zee: Constantine

Nat&Zee: I don't understand that reference

Giu: SDEFAFANSBAKWBLENDP

Zee : Control yourself woman

D:”How are we gonna tell Dad?”

S: “How are we gonna tell Mom”

Nat: Why are the teens everywhere are they running out of extras? I can be an extra.... for love scenes

Zee : I can be a fly in the wall

Z:”I need to know who’s been messing with time?” like...I mess with time, that’s my thing, who’s stealing my job

Giu: SQUINTY BOY

Z:”This town is always been a little muddy for us”

Z:” he...murders you all”

Kat: Ugh I want to stab Zach in the face

oh jfc Cass is a fucking murder machine,kinda like the apocalypse world NO 

Nat: Zach, just shut the fuck up, will ya

Zee: I’m an angel of the lord AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zee : GIULS IM DEAD

Giu: IS IT BAD THAT IM AROUSED

Kat: WINGS

Giu: FUCK

Zee: THE ONLY LOGICAL OUTCOME.  Babe how dare you ?

D:”Cass? “

C: who’s this bright soul , oh no he’s hot.

D:”Cass, you know us”

C: I WISH.

C: “I don’t know you”

Kat: I DONT KNOW YOU

Nat: Ow...a stab in the heart

Giu: NO

Kat : Breaking my heart

- Oh look you can pin point the exact moment HIS heart breaks.

D:” Cass, don’t”

Giu: LAGO DI GARDA!!

Nat: THE GARDA LAKE? IS THAT AN EXPRESSION?

Giu: No , it’s where i live.

- The satisfaction of seeing Sam kill Zach. Sam enjoying it.

Kat: YAS SAMMEH

Nat: Cas, come on!

- I love that Sam is holding the blade to cut and not stab.

ok ok...honestly I’m enjoying this ok? in the sense that I missed seeing Castiel so strong and powerful , and this is as it should be. He’s an angel , a soldier, with eons of wars behind, he was a captain ffs, the Winchester, they can be as strong as you want but they are human. Even Zach was stronger than them, he was just stupid to fall for Sam trick.

Giu: PLEASE DON’T KILL THEM

Giu: please don’t kill Cass, please don’t kill Cass.

Kat: Dudes the bloopers from this scene will be epic

Nat: I SWEAR IF THEY DON'T SHOW IT

Giu: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

D:”Cass, Cass, stop it”

....bitch HE HESITATED , Cass hesitated , he just kept Dean there when he could have just snaps his neck with a bit of pressure.

Zee : Sammy to the rescue

Giu: OH THANK GOD

Us: We want Bamf Castiel back!

Writers: OK

Us: NOT LIKE THIS

Zee: Who needs a heart?

oh look, those plates have the same decorations as the cups we saw in older eps. WHY DO I KNOW THAT. 

D:”Egghead”

Nat: me vs. your mom that's not even a choice

Giu: JOHN

Zee : Mary is showing emotion

Nat: I know who i would chose

yeah ok...I would choose this John tho, not the one we started in 2005 .

Zee : Me too

Kat: I almost don’t hate her. She’s hurting so bad. But everything else would be fucked

M:” Sam I can’t”

me too Mary, me too.

Nat: that's the thing. she's hurting more about her husband than her boys

Kat: I said almost

-J:” I never meant for this”

Kat: No son

J: “My fight. It was supposed to end with me. With Yellow eyes”

Giu: AGAIN

J:” But now you- you are a grown man and I’m incredibly proud of you”

Zee : Look how proud

Nat&Giu: JOHN, STAY

Kat: He’s waited so long to hear hat

Nat: LET SAM BE INTERNET FAMOUS

J:” I guess that I hoped, eventually,you would...get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”

Zee&Giu : I have a family

Nat&Kat: WE EAT

Nat: A man after my taste

Giu: AND MY POOR HEART

Zee : Too much silence

Kat: #awkward

Nat: #sad

Giu: #The last supper

Zee : Stahp

Kat: SHUT UP BITCH

J:” We can be grateful for this time we have together.”

Kat:  #AMEN

Nat: sounds like AYE MEN

Giu: ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

Kat: Fucking Bob Seger

Giu: THEY DESERVE ALL OF THIS,ALL OF IT . MY BABIES

Kat: I WANNA KNOW THE CONVO

Nat: #DOMESTIC LIFE

S: “It doesn’t feel right to have all of this and have to throw it away and I know we have to.” S:” He just goes back to...to..being Dad”

-Oh honey 

Giu: Sam is panicking

Nat: Who would save the world tho

S:” I think it would be nice”

D:” yeah? I used to think that too.”

D:”For the longest time I blamed Dad. I mean I blamed Mom too,you know. I was angry”

D: “Why don’t send him further back , and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world?

oh...OH Dean is woke

D:” But there’s the problem. Who does that makes us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I’ve got to be honest. I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.”

D:”I’m good with who I am,and I’m good with who you are”

Zee : Does anybody else experiencing chest pain??

Nat: What's a chest. I can't feel anything below my mouth

Giu: what s a mouth

Kat: #too old for this shit

D:”Cause our life, they are ours”

Kat: BAWLING

Kat: THIS FUCKING MUSIC

M: “I hate this”

Giu: WE HATE THIS

Zee&Kat: My girl

-NOOOOOO

J:”I miss you so damn much”

Nat: #make it stop

Nat: fuck this

Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO I

Giu: STOP IT STOOOOP

Nat: JARED CONTROL YOUR FACE

Kat: THEY BOTH NEED TO

Zee : Fuck this flips table

-What a soft hug omg I can’t. Why is John so soft , whyyyyyy.

Giu: I WANNA DIE

Nat: FUCK THIS

-Dean’s eyes are dead , he’s trying to be emotionless and I can’t deal with it.

Also Sam keeps throwing glances at Dean and it breaks me.

John looking at his sons is PAAAAIN.

J:” You two. You take care of each other”

S: “We always do”

Can I say that I expected some “Yes Sir” here and there and I’m so glad that there were none? Like...yes they grow up and they are their own men and I’m so damn glad. I would have hated if I heard them saying that.

Kat: GOOD TO SEE YOU DAD

Dean said that so softly I can’t

Nat: OMG

Giu: JARED FUCK

Zee : I’m gonna faint

Nat&Kat: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS

Giu: JDM FUCK U TOO

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU

This ....Jared you fucking broke me here, you just ...can’t go and act like this and expect me to still be breathing .

Giu: JAY DON’T

Goddammit Dean still looks like he doesn’t wan’t to break but ...I can see it, your lips are shaking damn you Jensen.

Oh no here comes the hug of pain.

J:”I love you both so much”

why is Sam crying so much this season , JARED !

-oH NO DEAN SAID IT....DEAN SAID I LOVE YOU , I CAN’T , 911 HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

Nat: HEY, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONE

I’m so sick of seeing tears ok? And seeing John so emotional??? NAAAAAH FUCK THAT, I saw those tears falling . FUCK U

NOT THE WINK 

Zee : Can they all fuck the fuck off???

J:”Sammy...”

Kat: JENSEN FUCK YOU JARED FUCK YOU JDM FUCK YOU

Nat: TAKE MARY WITH YOU

Giu: dean your face

Kat: JENSEN BROKE ME

Dean looked like a little scared kid there and he just broke me once again.

Nat: THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND THEY KNOW IT THE WRITERS KNOW IT  I HATE THIS SO MUCH

Kat: Yeah but that one look. Fuck

ok Now....I wanted to make this gif so badly because it haunted me. This....This is when Sam break the pearl. The sound looks like it hit Dean like a bullet or something and I just ....look at him it looks like he wants to scream, his lips seems like they are spelling a soundless ‘NO’ or he just let go, because he wasn’t breathing until the sound ....I need a minute, I’m gonna throw up my breakfast. 

Bye John , I’ll miss you fiercely

aaaaand Dean looks like he’s dead again.

Nat: HEY GIULS Lebanon walk.

Nat I’m dead what do you want me to do? Call me if there is a ghost walk of Lebanon-

Also YAAAAAAS THOSE TWO ARE THE CUTEST

Nat&Kat&Giu: CAS

Sam looks relieved

Kat: OF FUCK THIS

Nat: Look at that phone

Giu: OMG NO

Nat&Zee&Kat: One hell of a dream

Kat: So much plagiarism

Zee : This music NEEDS to stop

Nat: NO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Can we have a “fuck” count ?

Nat: aWWWW...jACK

Nat: WTF JACK

Giu: Jack honey dont

Kat: WHAT ARE THE DOING TO BABY BEAN

Zee: March 7???

Nat: Yeah no

Writers: heya! we are gonna give you some sweet stuff for the 300th, y’all gonna hate it so much.

after credits brainstorm

Nat: SO GET THIS Did John remember? Did John know that the boys are happy and he spends the last of his days thinking about how he could get rid of Michael? Giu: What what . Oh fuck I sure hope so Nat: He saw that the boys were happy, that Mary came back. That's all he wanted . That's why it wasn't hard for him to let go and make the deal. Zee: I soooooo don’t need this rn Giu: im on board. Because he said that he had the strangest dream right? So since their life are fucked up anyway , what hurt could it make to look that shit up? Nat: He will remember but it's more like a vivid dream and he will do anything to fight for them so that's why it wasn't hard for him at all to save Dean, even though he can't defeat YED. Because he knows that his boys will save the world.  And still live. with an angel and lucifer's child.

.

.I have no word , and no answer of how I’m feeling right now.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie    @mariekoukie6661    @dragontamerm     @closetspngirl  @rainflowermoon   @mattiecat     @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2  @jacks-word-of-the-day   @4evamc    @dammitsammy   @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride  @destielhoneybee  @castiellover20 

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

COMMANDER LILITH

THIS NEWS @ ME AND THE VINE COMP

LETS GOOOOOOOOO

BEST NEWS FIRST

IT’S SUPPOSEDLY FREE AND COMING OUT NOT THE 11TH BUT THE 9TH LIKE THIS MONTH THE 9TH LIKE IN 4 DAYS

I FEEL BAD FOR THE PEOPLE GOING TO E3 CAUSE NOW THEY CAN’T PLAY THIS DLC UNTIL THEY GET HOME, F IN CHAT FOR THE BOYS

HOLY SHIT THIS IS REAL OKAY

EVERYBODY STAY CALM

SANCTUARY IS UNDER SIEGE

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW, BABY

THE VAULT MAP HAS BEEN STOLEN

OH WE’RE OFFICIALLY CALLING IT THE VAULT MAP NOW, OKAY, CALYPSO TWINS CONFIRMED TO HAVE TAKEN OUR OLD KEY

YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT CONFIRMED WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH ALL THESE GODDAMN PLANTS

YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT OLD CANCELED TPS DLC? OF COURSE YOU DO, THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE APPARENTLY USING AS A BASE FOR THIS ONE

REMEMBER THE “INFECTED” STATUS EFFECT? WELL, I’M ASSUMING THAT’S WHAT THE TOXIC GAS IS

“A DERANGED VILLAIN HELL-BENT ON RULING THE PLANET” SO WE’RE NOT FIGHTING THE CALYPSO TWINS?! SOMEONE UNDER THEM??? I ALMOST WANT TO BELIEVE IT’S SOMEONE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT- JUST SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE WHO WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD AND THE TWINS SHOW UP AT THE END OF THE DLC AND WIPE HIS ASS OFF THE MAP FOR US AND YOINK THE VAULT MAP THAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS AWAY FROM UNDER US

NEW LEVEL CAP 80?? HOLY FUCK?????? AND WE CAN START PLAYING IMMEDIATELY AT LEVEL 30 OH MY GOD I COULD KISS WHOEVER DECIDED THAT WAS NECESSARY I LOVE YOU

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR OP LEVELS? AM I GONNA BOP IN WITH MY OP8 ZER0 AND END UP FIGHTING ENEMIES AT LEVEL 88 WHEN I FINALLY LEVEL UP??? WHEN MY GEAR IS LEVEL 80 (AS THAT’S WHAT OP8 DOES) BECAUSE OH MY SWEET JESUS I DON’T WANNA GRIND MY HIDE OF TERRA AGAIN AHHGGGGGG

okay im gonna take a breath now

we’re calm

we’re good. this is good, we’re okay, i have to type everything 5 times over so its coherent but you know what this is okay this is happening, we’re cool.

i have to be the bearer of bad news as well but i don’t know if those screencaps of the ship from bl3 are what we’re seeing here in the new dlc (as much as I want to be right lmao). the screencaps of the ship definitely seemed like a insect infestation, not a plant one, ya know?

THEY’RE TURNING THE CARS GAY

or at least like... Buttstallion themed... check out the little horseshoe emoticon in the back there

but it’s pride month, they totally knew what they were doing and the fact that pre-ordered copies of bl3 apparently get a buttstallion themed skin for their ...gear... guns..? iirc... that means we can have gay guns in bl3, too. gearbox is treating us so fucking right, thank you

anyway the location the car is in looks like the highlands or a hammerlock’s big game hunt-type area. mossy/grassy with boulders in the background.

it looks almost like uranus spawns in right at the start of the dlc! which is awesome, and now i understand why they boost you to 30 before you start.

im verrrryyyy interested in that shot of Sanctuary up in the sky there. you can see the drill, its surrounded by a cloud of dust, it looks like its falling to pieces. i also don’t know where exactly this screenshot takes place but my first thought was the eridium blight (because of the mountain in the back) but that wouldn’t match the sky at all. I then thought maybe the ruins of helios? but we would be able to see more rocks and shit around the edges. then i was all “maybe the highlands”? the rock would match as it has grass growing on top, and sanctuary is very close to overlook, so it’s definitely possible. im gonna say somewhere near the highlands, yeah. the WEP and Opportunity are both fairly near there and it does have some pretty mountainous areas... so. maybe the highlands.

it looks like the giant vines are reaching up towards sanctuary so i retract my previous statement. i don’t think that’s dust. i think they’re drilling away at the plants trying to grow up to it lol

“Shooting the Moon” makes me think this has something to do with Elpis (not a surprise, if you realize the dlc they’re basing this off of is an old TPS dlc called Luxy’s Space Adventure where a bunch of mutated plant people end up on the space-cruise ship) 

honestly i’m really fucking hoping they bring back the flamethrower for the final boss (elon musk’s..?)

an area where we can see exactly what this space-cruise ship was supposed to look like

we also know in the dlc that the disease was spread by some space pirates, so i don’t know if that’s going to be the case here (they board the cruise ship and start spreading disease). Loader bots are apparently ‘Hacked’ so it’s probably not Hyperion we’re going at again. I could see them throwing the space pirates at us, tho maybe changing the guys a little bit so it’s not too much like Captain Scarlett. 

there is this boss character and that logo on the bottom, possibly a logo for who we’re going to fight in the new dlc? Interestingly enough, she’s got the red and black color scheme, too. cough troy cough. god them having space pirate as a backstory would be fucking AWESOME

i have been going thru the concept art album here if you want to take a look for yourself and tbh

this pic got me thinking about that “Atlas ice cream shop” prompt the VA for lorelei released 🤔

anyway, moving on from old dlc to what’s new! because lord knows they must’ve changed a lot lol

the infected psychos on the title art

also, correct me if im wrong, but it looks like lily is standing in 2 places at once- flying sanctuary on the right and three horns divide on the left

anyway

uranus looks a lot more DAHL themed than i originally noticed, like yeah he looks like saturn, but check that color scheme. may be the work of the new baddies.

this logo may hold some importance, but i can’t recall ever seeing something like it before.

so this minimap

lucky me i extracted all the textures from bl2 a couple days ago

im very pleased to say this doesn’t look like any minimap we’ve been shown so far, although i did a very quick glance through, so if you guys recognize it, please tell me!!

i can’t believe they made the guns sparkly and gay. Thank you gearbox. fucking thank you.

the area sal is in reminds of that one place in frostburn canyon, but i doubt that’s actually where he is. likely a new area we haven’t discovered yet!!

lily

the background is uhhh disgusting, but it is giving me WEP vibes, with the windmill/lighthouse (wherever that area is where you find maya’s ECHO log) and the walls. though the texture of the ground is giving me hammerlock’s hunt vibes.

anyone know why her wings are giving off the digital pixel look angel’s did? like the digistruct vibe?

weird.

tina! she’s clearly playing a big part in this dlc. wondering if pickle and athena are also around. I don’t think this is sanctuary. the big wall in the back. perhaps where the vines are actually growing from below the mining ship?

would then pin this as somewhere near overlook.

brick! looks to be the same-ish area as tina (if the buildings have anything to say about it)

honestly the people in the ground is killing me lol. person on the left seems like some random civilian..? he’s just got pants and loafers on. maybe the cruise ship crashed on pandora and the pirates aboard are taking their changes lol

doubtful, though, considering the plan seems premeditated with the huge cloud of toxic gas and shit

now I’m just wondering if the reason the CoV psychos are wearing those respirator-like masks is because the twins showed up with them and were like “if you wear these ‘blessed masks’ when you go to fight the plant shit, you won’t die. yeah, we’re gods. join our cult lmao”.

im just really curious how this ties into the CoV. I imagine either the twins are working with the (new?) villain somehow, or they end up stealing the Vault Map away from us (and possibly killing the bad guy first) at the very end of the DLC. I do want to entertain the idea that they’re like “hey!!! we can help!!!” and then end up betraying us right at the end and toppling Sanctuary for good and taking the key.

alright, that’s all i’ve got. I’m gonna go scream into my pillows now until the 9th happens. 

btw, season 1 of vip stuff happens TOMORROW (the 6th!). hype!!!

edit:

lilith’s digistruct pack has a red accent on it now

im wondering if this is some sort of projection of Lily since her wings have the weird pixels...

[telling-our-stories]

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

 It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."

[rhiezus]

               1989 As Our Ships, Moments & Characters.

Welcome To New York

This song is kind of annoying but it’s a classic, of course that I thought of Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo first because... c’mon, first Yura was born in New York and second the lyrics is very them... Also a little bit of WNDR? Because of their tour? I mean they getting famous and coming to America, it also reminded me of them a lot because it’s like fame is been waiting for them.

Walking through a crowd, the village is aglow Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats Everybody here wanted something more Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before

I mean you can see why I mentioned WNDR right?

When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer Everybody here was someone else before And you can want who you want Boys and boys and girls and girls

Also Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo forgetting their past to be together and shit.

Blank Space

Okay I have no idea, I thought of Linlin but... I don’t know, the thing is this album has a lot of “personas” created by Taylor so it’s hard to tell which one of them is who. I have no idea, seriously, let’s just listen and think together. 

Style

I was thinking about this one while I was washing the dishes, that’s why I decided to do this today, hehe. Okay so hear me out, first I remembered this whole album I tried to associate with Nayoung years ago but then I was remembering our ships and came up with Julie and Valak, but I was like? Not so much because they are very dragged only by each other, so I don’t know. Then I though of 2sun, I was like, yes? Very much. But then, finally out of nowhere I was... Oh my god this is Ruy and Hai.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mm, yeah) I say, "I heard, oh That you've been out and about with some other girl" Some other girl He says, "What you heard is true, but I Can't stop thinking 'bout you, and I" I said, "I've been there too a few times"

Right? I mean... It was exactly why i thought about them.

Oh, you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down (and when we go) We come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

The gays literally never go out of style, that’s why we keep making them.

Out Of The Woods

Oh my baby, I love this song. Funny thing that when this about first launched, I didn’t like this song because I thought it was too repetitive but then when I came across while we were in the mood “nayoung x keun breakup fiasco thing”, I just fell in love with it. Because it’s literally Nayoung’s mind, I just- Yeah. I also I was just thinking about how it reminds me of Danbi and Daehyun too, somehow?

Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying on your couch I remember You took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color

It makes so much sense, yes. I don’t have much to say about 1989 this album just speaks for itself, I just point the people that it speaks to.

Looking at it now Last December (last December) We were built to fall apart Then fall back together (back together) Your necklace hanging from my neck The night we couldn't quite forget When we decided, we decided To move the furniture so we could dance Baby, like we stood a chance

December? Does it ring a bell? Haha, we knew. 

Also, I gotta add this description by Genius, again: The repetitive nature of the chorus reinforces the idea that the fear and nerves that came with the relationship were overbearing and completely took over her thoughts. 

When you started crying, baby, I did too But when the sun came up, I was looking at you Remember when we couldn't take the heat? I walked out and said, "I'm setting you free" But the monsters turned out to be just trees When the sun came up, you were looking at me

I wanna cry this is so Nayoung and Keun, for god sakes... Finally they out of the woods kkkjkjk

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Anna and Kuen, I literally just thought of it. Before I thought of Haneul and Hyuntae, but honestly? Totally Anna and Kuen, I can literally see.

People like you always want back The love they gave away And people like me wanna believe you When you say you've changed The more I think about it now The less I know All I know is that you drove us Off the road

Yeah, I mean, I’m still out of words, I’m just trying to make my point cross effectively. 

Let me remind you This was what you wanted You ended it You were all I wanted  But not like this

Yes?? Also, she repeats the “stay” like a hundred times so, yeah.

Shake It Off

It is still Hailey to me, or just WNDR being goofyes in the dorm. Literally what Taylor says about this song just speaks to WNDR in a nutshell: I really wanted it to be a song that made people want to get up and dance at a wedding reception from the first drum beat. But I also wanted it to be a song that could help someone get through something really terrible if they wanted to focus on the emotional profile, on the lyrics.

But I keep cruisin' Can't stop, won't stop groovin' It's like I got this music in my mind Saying it's gonna be alright

So yeah, nothing more to say. 

I Wish You Would

I literally can’t stand the connections between Taylor’s songs and Harry anymore on genius, but here we go. This song is about while he was in the car making the decision to get out the car and see her, she was sitting in her bedroom, wishing he would make the move and go back to her and just pitch up at her house. She compared it to a classic John Hughes movie where both parties want the same thing but neither has the guts to say anything.... So it did kinda reminded me of Nayoung and Keun, can you blame me, no? BecUASE LITERALLY ALL THIS ALBNUM Oh MY gOD, This is so Bonghu and Sanchan breakup days too... 

I wish you would come back Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I Wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I Wish you were right here, right now, it's all good

Like, shut up?? It’s totally young Bonghu and Sanchan, okay? Okay.

It's 2AM in my room Headlights pass the window pane I think of you We're a crooked love in a straight line down Makes you want to run and hide But it makes you turn right back around

Hahahah, I soooo I’m right, I don’t knowkkjl.

Bad Blood.

THIS IS CHIHYE AND INNA. OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS SO CHIHYE AND INNA. ALSO. THIS IS 7SINS TO JULIE. KKKK IM DYING. Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?‘ she did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ .... 7SINS ABOUT JULIE, AND CHIHYE AND INNA ABOUT Hmm NothING THEY JUST BITTER (MAYBE BC BOTH MARRIED PYONGHO AND ONE LITERALLY FOR NOTJISNJKJ)

Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it's all rusted Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?

I mean Julie literally kind of destroyed 7sins so I can see the point of anger, and Chihye is just a bitch so yeah...

Band-aids don't fix bullet holes You say sorry just for show If you live like that, you live with ghosts

Yes girls, that’s why them, in the end, make peace with each other is all good SPB is the bitch here c’mon... And I mean Chihye and Inna were never “friends” again because they never really saw each other again but Inna always made an effort and still wanted Chihye to be alright? So it’s true she lives with ghosts, she went nuts... But I wonder now if their friendship never ended because off status and guy problems, maybe... just maybe... Chihye would have moved on for a better life and maybe even Nayoung wouldn’t have been born and things would be good. In the other hand, 7sins was built to break because SPB was poor and hanging by a string, so all that shit just was the point of the iceberg so it was fine judging Julie for a while because she didn’t take it personally and when things were revealed that it indeed was for the best, they didn’t share grudges and just moved on with their lives like they were supposed to. 

Wildest Dreams.

We literally just talk about her, I mean Chihye is every tragic story about Taylor.. But, in a way, this could also be about Inna and Pyongho, or Lian and Chihye, it depends on the day. ALSO COULD BE OH MY GOD ARAKI AND KAYNKKKJ, yes. 

He said, "Let's get out of this town Drive out of this city, away from the crowds" I thought, "Heaven can't help me now" Nothing lasts forever But this is gonna take me down

OH, YES BRING ME THE TRAGIC BRING ME THE PAIN BRING ME THE SAD AND MEMORIES AND LONG LASTING LOVE AND YEEEEAAAAH. I’ll shut up.

He's so tall and handsome as hell He's so bad, but he does it so well I can see the end as it begins My one condition is

This just applies to Lian and Kayn, oh what a combination. Maybe not even them because they are nice too.

You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night Burnin' it down Someday when you leave me, I'd bet these memories Follow you around

Yes, Araki and Kayn & Lian and Chihye all in one song. Maybe I was just crazy with Pyongho and Inna, I don’t know, I get crazy all the time. This verse made me want to answer one of smutty times between Araki and Kayn, because literally all they do is fuck and miss each other.

How You Get The Girl

Finally, you are here Haneul and Hyuntae, I’ve waited to talk about how much this song is them because... You will see it. First Taylor says: It’s written for a guy who has broken up with his girlfriend, then wants her back after six months. But it’s not going to be as simple as sending a text like, ‘Sup? Miss you.’ That won’t work. You need to do all the things I say.

Stand there like a ghost Shaking from the rain, rain She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane?" Say it's been a long six months And you were too afraid to tell her what you want

It wasn’t exactly like that, but a girl can imagine and not everything has to be right. First, because that’s literally Hyuntae realizing he did things wrong and missed his timing to explain things, but Haneul is just pissed at his ass. 

I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait forever and ever

Like I said, it wasn’t exactly like that but it was pretty similar. 

Remind her how it used to be, be, yeah-yeah With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, cheeks Tell her how you must have lost your mind, ooh-ooh When you left her all alone And never told her why, why

I meAN, I MEAN??? CmOn. I love the “pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks” because it’s so cheesy and so Haneul and Hyuntae when they were dating, they probably do have pictures like that on their cellphones and at a time Haneul’s cheesy ass must even have one framed to give to Hyuntae. AND YOU LEFT HER ALL ALONE AND NEVER TOLD HER WHY, cmOn, yeah?kkjk Also lost your mind, yes, it was the anxiety talking, not Hyuntae, makes sense...

Anyways, I love this cheesy song because the beat, the lyrics, everything reminds me of Haneul and Hyuntae’s relationship not only as lovers but as friends too, you know? Yeah *sobs*

This Love

Oh, it’s Lian and Chihye again. Okay, let me think... yeah, can’t... Yeah. Also I was just about to go to the other song, when I thought “maybe this is Taewoon and Hojin” and then all of sudden... This is also Hansol and Chan-u.

This love is good, this love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

The sad melody, the way Taylor is whispering? I mean, almost makes me wanna cry because I love young Lian and Chihye just trying to survive. (( I also love young and innocent Hansol with wicked and confused Chan-u, how they managed to survive and still get married and shit? wHO KnoWS

Tossing, turning Struggled through the night with someone new And I could go on and on, on and on Lantern, burning Flickered in my mind, only you But you were still gone, gone, gone

Totally Chihye about being with Pyongho but wanting to be with Lian... LeT IT GO, GO IN TO THE LIGHT CHIHYEEEEEEE

Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need

*sOBS*, this part is so sad what the fuckkkjk. DIE CHIHYE DIE I CANT TAKE YOUR SADNESS IN THIS ALBUM ANYMOre for god sakes. “when youre young, you just run but you come back to what you need” sounds like a board name,, OH MY GOD THIS COULD ALSO BE TAEWOON AND HOJIN OH MY GODKKKJK shut up ..... Hansol and Chan-u got married and Chihye is dead, get over it, life is good xd

I Know Places

I don’t really listen nor like this song, but the lyrics reminded me of Julie and Valak, i’m telling this album is about the terrible and twisted people. ALSO YURA AND CHIYO TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY AND MEDIA IS A BITCH.

You stand with your hand on my waistline It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by It's a bad sign, bad sign Something happens when everybody finds out See the vultures circling, dark clouds Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out It could burn out

This is also jenkai. 

Baby, I know places we won't be found And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide I know places, I know places

For Julie and Valak the place is his car, that’s my theory. And Yura and Chiyo is just Japan... (jenkai is that park at midnight & jongin’s car). Oh my god, when Julie and Valak were discovered by dispatch imagine everyone like “valak drives?”

They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we run Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it My love

I’m addicted to this song now. 

Clean

My god I don’t know 2/4 of this album. It’s... Hansol and Chan-u, now that I remembered of them I simply won’t forget.

The drought was the very worst  When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst It was months and months of back and forth  You're still all over me Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

See? I mean their relationship is very complicated, but according to genius this song is about getting over a heartbreak and moving on with your life to rediscover yourself and like Taylor said: When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean....... Also, it reminded me of Haneul and Hyuntae. 

Ten months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it Ten months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

I’m speechless for both ships. Also they both risk it so... hHAHAJKk Oh my god this is so Kaili getting over Julie too jkjkk jeez But finally what she says in the end sends me: The hidden message to Clean is “She lost him, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything.” This song is not just about losing someone you love – it’s also about losing yourself. Being clean is about moving on as a person and really taking care of yourself mentally.

Wonderland

How many songs are left for this, oh god... At this point I can only point Hansol and Chan-u too, I’m tired I’ve written to much. But because too: It is a description of a toxic relationship, from beginning to end. It uses the story of Alice In Wonderland as inspiration for the highs and lows of enjoying this state of relationship wanderlust, irrespective of negative consequences.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twistin' around me I should have slept with one eye open at night

I seriously can’t take the Harry Styles on Genius anymore... You read this, you tell me who ship it is: https://genius.com/4254518

You Are In Love

I love this song *michael’s meme*. Seriously, ugh. Dedicated to all my lovebirds with a happy and healthy relationship who had been missing here because this album is so so very tragic and I haven’t got my time to mention them properly. Specially: Zeev and Eleanor, Kaili and Raye, Mark and Hana, Minhye and Jukan, Jinhyung and Kyungri... Who else?

Morning, his place Burnt toast, Sunday You keep his shirt, he keeps his word And for once, you let go Of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much, but it said enough You kiss on sidewalks You fight and you talk

This reminded me of Eleanor and Zeev... 

One night, he wakes Strange look on his face Pauses, then says "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

And this... Minhye and Jukan.

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out) You are in love, true love

And this... Jinhyung and Kyungri.

And so it goes You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown And you understand now Why they lost their minds and fought the wars And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

Okay the “office downtown” reminded me of Keun and Nayoung... I’m telling, I love this song I just can’t pick one ship for it. Also this song Taylor wrote for her friends who are in love and this comment just cracked me up: Isn’t it much more likely (and adorable) to imagine Jack looking at a picture of Lena while he produces music in his home studio? kkkj 

New Romantics

THE BEST WAY TO FINISH THIS FINALLY CAUSE IM SO TIRED. LETS JUST LISTEN AND APPRECIATE FOR God sakes its been an hour.

just appreciate me screaming the lyrics of this song in telegram when it cames.

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Kurt felt his feet scraping across the ground as he forced himself down the hallway. The last few weeks had left him feeling so small. Dave and Santana being outted, Dave’s suicide attempt, losing out on both class presidency and the main role in A West Side Story; every bit of life seemed to be weighing him down recently. And then there was Blaine.

 Ever since Blaine had enrolled at McKinley, the two of them seemed to be parting ways more as each day went past. Of course Sebastian’s arrival hadn’t helped the situation, but deep down Kurt knew those same issues had been festering for a while. At times, Kurt found himself wondering if he was mismatched with Blaine; if Blaine would be happier with someone like Sebastian, someone more… spontaneous. Or at least someone who would answer his calls. Since that night, the sheer sound of Blaine’s voice was off-putting to Kurt. All that would come to mind was his hands spreading out and grabbing at Kurt, taking as much as he could like a kid with a candy bowl. The memory left a bad taste in Kurt’s mouth; almost as bad as remembering he had apologised for rejecting Blaine’s advances. At the time, Kurt had convinced himself that Blaine was right, that he had just been spoiling the fun, but the bad taste remained nonetheless.

 The one positive that had come out of the last few weeks was that the New Directions had reunited. To the surprise of everybody, Rachel had suggested giving others a chance to sing at Nationals, as long as she got her solo of course. It did mean, however, that all choreography the group had begun to work on prior to the girls coming back now had to be changed. And with Rachel’s two left feet and Tina’s quieter nature, Kurt was called in by Quinn to help choreograph and teach the new routine.

 On better days, Kurt didn’t mind helping out. Today was not one of those days. After the hypocritical mess Blaine pulled singing It’s Not Right But It’s Okay, Kurt was in no mood to see the glee club. Regardless, both Rachel and Quinn had insisted that with Nationals coming up, every chance they can get to practice had to be used.

 As he entered the room, Kurt could all but feel the atmosphere change. Quiet whispers stopped as Finn stood up. Giving signal to the others, Kurt watched as they followed him, each one of them approaching him as Puck closed the door.

 “Why are you all acting like you’re about to give an interve… oh my god, this is an intervention, isn’t it? Look I know Blaine gave a messed up image of us but it’s not going to affect the tea…”

 “We just want to talk,” Finn interrupted, gesturing Kurt a seat.

 Kurt bit his lip before shuffling his feet over to the seat. The awkward silence continued. Filled with uncertainty, Finn’s eyes shuffled between the boys’ and Rachel’s before she sighed and spoke up.

 “What’s going on with you Kurt?”

 The others scolded the brunette’s bluntness before being reminded that no one else was willing to ask. As they begun to quarrel, Quinn shut them down.

 “What Rachel meant was is everything okay? You’ve had a tough year, not to mention everything you’re still dealing with from last year and we just wanted to check in. If our conversation after Karofsky taught me anything, it’s that none of us should assume that people are coping when they’re in strife.”

 “I’m fine.”

 The words sped out of Kurt’s mouth like a horse belting toward the finish line. Kurt could feel how untrue the statement was as he spoke the words, yet he still found himself faking a smile in hopes to convince the others. It didn’t work. As he looked over at Mercedes, her disappointment hit him, forcing him to look at the ground.

 “Honey,” she started, “the truth is you haven’t been yourself for a long time now. And it’s clear that Blaine going behind your back for the West Side Story role has made things worse, especially after his performance today. We got to hear his side, now it’s only fair we hear yours.”

 Kurt stuttered for a moment before falling silent. His head went back and forth arguing over what to say next. On one hand, this was his relationship. It wasn’t any concern, or business for that matter, of the others. Not to mention Blaine was already upset with him, why make things worse? But at the same time, they were his friends and they were there trying to help. Even Santana and Puck had shown up. Regardless, Kurt couldn’t find the words.

 “It’s nothing, I’ll fix things up with Blaine later on,” He lied before sighing, “Thank you though Mercedes, for setting this up.”

 “It wasn’t me,” Mercedes smiled, looking over at Finn.

 Kurt blinked before staring at Finn.

 “I’m your brother Kurt. I’m worried about you. Nothing you say is going to change that. I, I just couldn’t find the words to say that, so I called in these guys.”

 Silence filled the room again. Kurt find his eyes shuffling back to the ground. Mike moved next to Kurt, placing his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and assuring him it’d be alright.

 “You’re wrong about the show being the issue,” Kurt started, “Around the time the role was allocated, Sebastian came into the picture…”

 “The jerk from Daltons who was trying to get onto Blaine?” Tina enquired.

 “Yeah him,” Kurt muttered, “except it wasn’t just him trying to get Blaine. Blaine was responding and meeting up with him behind my back. The night before the opening day of the show, Sebastian invited us to some bar. Blaine spent the whole night getting drunk and dancing with him until it was time to leave. I got him to the car and he wouldn’t stop touching me. I yelled for him to stop, but he, he just wouldn’t. Eventually I shoved him off and he yelled at me before leaving, but things just haven’t been the same since.”

 “That hobbit tried to rape you?” Santana shouted.

 Kurt shook his head as he began to stutter. Being barely comprehensible, he started saying it was his fault and how he had apologised the next day. As the eyes of those around him widened, Quinn interrupted.

 “You shouldn’t have.”

 “Quinn’s right,” Puck jumped in before looking at Quinn in guilt, “It’s not your fault he tried to take advantage of you after knowing you had drunken.”

 “Actually, I was the designated driver, so I was sober.” Kurt explained.

 “Dude it doesn’t matter,” Finn said, “He doesn’t get to treat you like that.”

 Unable to find the words, Kurt fell silent. Deep down he knew Finn was right and that once upon a time, there would be no way Kurt would let himself be treated like this, but things were different now. The realisation of dying alone had plagued his mind. He didn’t expect Finn or Rachel or any of the other straight members to understand. Finding a partner for them was like finding a penny. The opportunity was always there. Hell, even Santana and Brittany didn’t have to worry because they found the love of their lives already. But he hadn’t. The two gay men Kurt knew were Blaine and Karofsky, a boy who physically assaulted him for years. The thought that he may never find love crushed Kurt, but at least Blaine was something.

 Before anyone spoke, a phone began to blare. Reaching in his pocket, Kurt noticed the number straight off, leading him to sigh.

 “That’s him now,” he started, “I should probably get going.”

 The group went to speak out, but Finn just shook his head at them. As Kurt gathered his things and started to walk out of the room, he heard Brittany’s voice come from behind him.

 “Don’t forget we love you Kurt.”

 Closing the door behind him, Kurt walked away. Once out of the building, he looked down at his phone, sighing as he pressed the number of the missed call. Before he was able to say anything, a voice cut in.

 “Where are you Kurt? I called your dad when you didn’t answer and he said Finn told him you were at a glee meeting which clearly isn’t where you are. Are you with Chandler? Is that why you refused to answer my calls? I knew Finn was threatened by my talent but to help you do this is next level petty and you dragging him into it is just as bad.”

 The voice continued rambling, cutting Kurt off as he tried to answer. Moments of incoherent rambling passed, lowering Kurt’s patience until all at once, it disappeared.

 “Blaine, stop,” Kurt started, “I’m not with Chandler. The fact that you think so little of me as to not only accuse me of that but bring the glee club into it with your performance today shows just what you think of me.”

 Stutters from the other end of the phone fell silent as Kurt pushed the red button. Stopping in his tracks, Kurt felt a sigh leave his chest. Confusion and guilt begun to set in as Kurt realised that despite his frustration, the sigh had been in relief, not despair. As the phone in his hand begun to vibrate again, he found himself clenching harder as he walked away. After minutes of nonstop ringing, Kurt hung up one final time before clicking the messaging button.

 ‘I’m sorry okay. Just give me time.’

 Disgust hit Kurt as he pressed send. He continued walking as he thought about how things had gotten so bad between him and Blaine that the person he could tell everything to had become the person he felt he had to lie most to. The phone continued to buzz as several messages came through. With his patience falling, Kurt placed his phone in his bag, making sure to do so in a way where it would not noticeably vibrate off anything else.

 As he reached his house, Kurt went straight into his bedroom, closing the door and grabbing out his phone. Upon seeing the endless stream of messages, Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, grasping then slightly yanking at it. His fingers began typing at the phone before deleting and typing again for several minutes before stopping and deleting it once more. He typed one final message.

 ‘We need to talk to someone Blaine. Meet me in Emma’s office tomorrow.’

 Before Blaine could respond, Kurt heard his door twist. Placing the phone back in his bag, Kurt stood up. The door opened, leading Kurt to relax.

 “Don’t come in unexpectedly Finn. You startled me.”

 Finn stared at Kurt in silence for a moment before speaking.

 “I just wanted to check that we’re cool after what happened. Look, I know I should have spoken to you privately before bringing in the others like that. I just didn’t know what to say. I think you need to tell Burt and my mum though, you know, about what Blaine did.”

 Kurt felt his throat tighten with each word that came out of Finn’s mouth. His eyes began scanning the room, looking for anything else to talk about. Maybe an unclean surface to attend to or homework to do. But nothing came to mind. With an awkward expression on his face, Kurt looked back at Finn.

 “We can’t tell dad. You heard about what he did to Karofsky and that was just some bully. Blaine’s my partner. He’d put him in hospital.”

 “Maybe he should.”

 Finn’s words came off louder and more abrasive than he had meant them, causing Kurt to flinch. In response, Kurt let out a sigh whilst saying Finn’s name. Another silence came over the room before Finn spoke.

 “Kurt, we’ve gotta tell someone who can help you.”

 “I don’t need help Finn. I’m fine.” Kurt lied.

 “So you’d still be calling it fine if I did that to Rachel then? Or what about if Sam did it to Mercedes? Because that definitely wasn’t the case when you were telling me that what happened to Quinn was Puck’s fault and his alone.”

 “Blaine didn’t get me drunk Finn. Plus, after what happened with Puck and Quinn, I know you’d never do that to Rachel, nor would the other guys with their girlfriends.”

 “We never thought Blaine would do that to you Kurt.”

 Finn’s words hit hard. Kurt tried to find words, but none came to him. Silence began to consume the room only to be broken by the vibrating sound coming from Kurt’s bag. Nothing was said, but the sympathetic look in Finn’s eyes made Kurt just uncomfortable enough to look away. Finn considered reaching out for Kurt’s arm before another vibrating noise from Kurt’s bad stopped him. Instead, he clenched his fist and sighed.

 “At least tell mum.”

 “You say that as if she wouldn’t just tell my dad.” Kurt said.

 “She wouldn’t,” Finn started, “She’s been here before Kurt. I mean not sexually from what I know, but when I was little she had a relationship that really messed her up, the same way Blaine is messing you up right now. She’ll be able to help… Just think about it, yeah?”

 With that, Finn walked away. Kurt sat back down on his bed, grabbing out his phone. Blaine had sent several messages stating why they didn’t need Emma involved and how everything was going to be okay. Kurt stared at the final message, a simple ‘I love you’, for several moments before placing the phone face down on the bed. Pulling himself up from the bed, Kurt walked over to the door, checking down the hallways for Finn before closing it. As the door clicked shut, Kurt felt his body slide down to the ground as began to cry.

[gncharlie]

Charlie Kelly’s favorite musical is Cats, you can’t change my mind (I feel like if it was playing in philly Dee would wanna go with Charlie but the whole time she’d be like I could do better than that, Mac would go cause he thinks that would be a great venue to meet other gay men at, Frank would go but he would only go while tripping cause he thought it would be more fun that way, and Dennis gets roped in cause the whole gang is going and he doesn’t want to be left out) (sorry if these sucked)

nah this didn't suck dude, it is cute,, and accuratei feel dee had 2 tickets cuz she was gonna go with some date but the date flaked out so she was like 'okay ill take charlie he likes music and would probably be the least annoying of the gang' but when dee goes to ask charlie about it mac overhears and goes 'ooh what a musical? that's gay,,, im going, maybe i'll pick up some beefcakes' (to which charlie and dee look at him like, yeah alright, i'm sure there will be beefcakes at a theatre...) later in their apartment, charlie tells frank how dee is taking him to a musical and frank butts in the next day like 'im going, im not staying in this bar doing work while you have fun looking at man-cheetahs, buy me a ticket bitch' and dennis tag along literally last second when he notices everyone leaving the bar and he goes 'woah woah woah, where's everybody going?? you guys going somewhere? without me???' and upon hearing they're going to see Cats dennis is like 'oh alright i can go, i'm going, buy me a ticket dee'and so somehow through frank's endless supply of money they get 5 good seats and they somehow don't get pulled out of the theatre (cuz you know they'd cause some kinda disturbance 5 minutes in)

[the-mf-bread-babies]

After some negotiation, the Russell family had joined the Skullsmashers. Although Lan and Gabriel preferred to stay as nomads, the other four members had entered the gang.

Some groups have their traditions whenever a new member joins, and this one was no exception: Jacob Watanabe, the leader, had organised a welcoming party for the recent recruits.

A number of people who were involved with them had been invited, and it was Ace and Nova's job to hand out the invitations. Damon asked to join the duo for the trip in his excitement of entering the gang.

“yea so im guessing you wanna know the area and stuff right” Jake asked, stacking up the invitation letters. “yup !! got kidnapped once and i won't be doing that again !!” Damon explained weirdly happily, making the punk give him an odd look. “you what”

“got kidnapped by hexa agents !! :-))” The new recruit repeated. Ace entered the room, putting a switchblade into their pocket. “like, which branch?” “oh they were a hideous shade of green, if that helps !!” Damon replied, playing with a knife. “You got kidnapped by the plant department…?” Nova asked as she put down her Nintendo 3DS™.

“absolutely !! apparently, it was because my grandpa's plants were ‘unusual’ and ‘a threat to moroz's delicate fauna,’ which was quite stupid because he was just growing some strawberries.” Damon elaborated. Rachel stepped into the room and slammed the door shut, her face looking slightly like shit. “alright you gay fucks, let's rock!”

“Oh, that's Rachel… she ate a cockroach once because I dared her to…” Nova stated quietly to Damon. “uh… cool.” “chop chop, bitches!” The lesbian yelled out, honking the horn as she waited for them. “got all the invites right” Jake asked. “uuuuuuhhhhhh yep, all… 32 of them.” Ace confirmed, shoving the letters into a pouch and carrying it.

The three made their way into the truck, and for some reason Nova sneaked in a KitKat bar. “that's everyone, right?” Rachel asked, her head craning from her seat as she counted the passengers repeatedly, each time getting more and more confused. “henderson's sleeping, and i didn't wanna wake her up to bring her along.” Ace said, already knowing who the girl was looking for. “oh. okay.”

Damon watched as Ace pulled out a map about three feet wide. “Which base're we visiting first?” Nova asked her best friend as she hid behind the map to sneakily consume the snack. The newbie internally judged her as she took a bite from both bars at once. “your favorite.” Ace replied jokingly as they giggled. “furniture bandits, huh?” Rachel yelled out in a mocking tone. “I Am Such A Victim Right Now” Nova struggled out, burying her face into her hands.

“what about 'em?” Damon asked, visibly confused. “oh, so nova here–” Ace started, only to be interrupted by a large palm to the face. “ow–” “Just a misunderstanding is all!” “nova has a cruuush~” Rachel added, angering her slightly. “omg she does?? she didn't tell me!” “Shut up–” “nova likes wrenchhead~”

Damon sighed. “wrenchhead, the one that has a wrench for a head, wrenchhead ??” He asked. “NO!” “whatever, man, you're not alone. not our fault they're so cute.” He confessed in shame. “why does everybody have a crush on wrenchhead now????” Ace asked in fear. “It's the voice…” “i was thinking of wrenchhead ii, who didn't have a voice and communicated through hitting things with tools. idk just found it kinda hot.” Damon explained. “Oh, it's Wrenchhead IV for me.”

“the one that has pet hamsters ??” The former nomad asked. “Yes…” “why would anyone like wrenchhead 4.. that's like the niall of the furniture bandits.” Ace stated bravely. “Coming from someone with a crush on goddamn Macklemore.” Nova revealed, making her friend screech internally. “I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT HE IS UNATTRACTIVE. THAT IS ALL.” Ace clarified, slamming their hands together. “okay, now, that's just being supportive of gay rights.” Rachel said.

“finally, someone understands me.” Ace sighed, folding the map. A long silence was born, making the atmosphere a little awkward. “anybody here like pyramid head ??” Damon asked, receiving no response. “damn, ok.”

The four arrived at their first destination, a large warehouse that proved to be the home of the Furniture Bandits, a friendly gang who spends their time either raiding abandoned places for furniture or building their own.

Like most groups in the area, the bandits elect (writing this on nov 3 i hope that fucker doesn't win) a leader who organises their work. The Furniture Bandits are commanded by what they call a ‘Wrenchhead.’ A wrenchhead really just sets the aesthetics down for the group, meaning each era they spend under a new leader produces wildly different types of furniture.

Why a group of bandits got together to build furniture and steal, that's the mystery.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and exited the vehicle. The others followed suit. “should i tell wrenchhead–” Rachel teased. “No,” Nova spat out, frowning. A small group of the bandits approached the four, one of them holding a bunch of papers. Seeing this, Ace chaotically went to grab the invitation letters and held them out to them.

“Would'ja like to enter the group?! Got two free slots left for woodworking, three for secret doors!” A bandit yelled out; definitely new. “sir, thanks and all, but our group's literally associates with yours, so…” Rachel stated disappointedly. “yeah, jake sent you guys some invitations for the new recruits' party. so like.” Ace added, waving the papers. “Oh. Okay,” The bandit said, awkwardly accepting them.

“thanks, guys!” Rachel shouted out, entering her pickup truck. “next stop, the stalkers.” She mumbled, driving away. “THE STALKERS?!” Damon yelled out to the group in excitement-slash-horror. “you guys are friends with that super creepy group ??” Ace cleared their throat while they shot a look at Rachel. “well,”

“remember henderson, the tall girl that was sitting in the living room with you?” Rachel asked. “well, she was temporarily in a group with me, and, well, a former hexa scientist. called it the ‘main four.’ some anime reference.” She elaborated, “eventually, we joined forces with the skullsmashers, and the others founded the stalkers. the scientist's background helped them a lot with their work.”

Damon's eyes widened. “you were not only in a group with a former hex, but also with stalkers ??” He asked in awe. “uh, yeah, also, i mean, jake would be mad at me for saying this, but–” Ace said mischievously. “… He dated a ringleader. Ever heard of them?” Nova continued, smirking. “no” He replied disappointingly.

“Well, the ringleaders are usually a top group's best associates.” Said Nova. “They're a council; their group's got an active hexa traitor, two mad scientists married to each other, a hitman, a dragon tamer, a himbo, a two-thousand-year-old ghost…” “Basically, they're pretty cool…” She explained, taking a bite out of a chocolate bar. “how…??” Damon asked, still confused.

“you know how new assassins hold those super grand parties where a LOT of hitman groups attend and they wanna recruit the guy?” Ace asked. “no” “well, they do, and back when jake–” “like, jake went to andre's party, and shit happened, and they dated for a bit!” They explained. “our group leader dated an assassin ??” Damon asked in fear. “yeah, but not one of the weird ones. ringleaders do background checks for their clients! sometimes, if the client's a shitbag, they'll end up mysteriously dead!” Rachel said happily. “scoran,” She grumbled under her breath.

“okay…” Damon concluded as they arrived at a dirty alleyway. “please don't tell me this is the stalkers' base, man.” He said, looking outside the window. “Just their most inconspicuous tunnel exit yet…” Nova said, pointing to a stack of hay. “Who the hell puts hay in an alley?!”

Ace cautiously exited the truck, tightly holding the invitations. They slowly walked towards the hay, tossed it near a dumpster and quickly ran right back to the vehicle. “RAT!!! THERE WAS A RAT GO GO GO” They commanded, hiding in fear from the rodent.

The next location for them to visit was located in Chalkós, a country situated near their base in Koalemos. “Bet 8-Ball's jealous we get to go here…” Nova said with a slight giggle. “i'm guessing this is where the ringleaders are.” Damon muttered, looking outside the window. It was a particularly large mansion in the middle of nowhere; akin to finding a mislocated toy in the produce section of the supermarket.

“yeah, that's andre's house. originally, he lived with us, but ever since he got involved with the ringleaders, he bought himself a nice house.” Rachel explained. “also we could afford some super major renovations in our base thanks to him, so that's cool.” “honestly, i have no idea why he broke up with jake, but it's probably because he didn't want him to get in danger or whatever. kinda miss having him around, though.” She added, exiting the vehicle yet again.

Their last destination was going to be the one that they'd spend the longest in– As Andre was an old friend of theirs, and probably had zero outside contact in a long time, he's much more talkative ever since he moved there. Not much of a downside, though; that man could fill up plot holes like he fi

The doorbell rang and echoed through the house, and the owner came running to the front door.

“HIIIII!!!”

Andre turned the doorknob and kicked the door open. “Guess who went to the honker guillotine?!” He yelled out excitedly as his arms were unmoving from a T-rex-like position. “woaaahhh!!!!” Ace exclaimed,