#then said actually that thing looks goofy as hell i want it now. and evolved him back into a Raremon

[laugtherhyena]

Here's the new dudes in question (ft BlueyBoy),, can you even blame me? They're so silly

[animalsalvationassociation]

I’ve caved & now the ASA Au is pivoting!!! 😅😘

(Please read to the end and vote on the poll!)

So I mentioned before that I wanted to go a more scientific route with my Octonauts Au, just because my writing usually delves into the fantasy/magic genres (I mean I write other things like Sci-Fi & Murder Mysteries, but there’s usually still a supernatural element to it).

However, this morning I found a lot of amazing inspiration that derives STRAIGHT from not only mythology but cryptozoology. I’ve talked it over with a moot and I believe I have a good idea of how I want to go about it.

So the story is going to be changing slightly. Ofc we’re gonna have our silly goofy Octonauts with their science fun, but I believe a criptid/monster subplot is just what we need!

Imagine a world where certain species have been believed to have gone extinct, only to find that most of those species exist and they’ve evolved. This will delve deeper into the scary/suspense aspect I’ve been looking for, allowing us to see if Kwazii’s monster tales might be telling some truths after all . . .

(Poll below)

PG-13: Mentions of Blood/Injuries, Violence, Use of weapons, Skipped Death Scenes (as in they’re mentioned but not included in the actual story), Scary/Suspenseful but not horribly traumatizing. (Think Superhero movies)

PG-14: Vivid Death Scenes (Most often they will be based off of memories), Heavy Weaponry, Horror Aspect (as in certain scenes are a little bit scarier than what they would be in a regular story, there’s more suspense and stakes), Lingering on the “edgier” side (idk how to explain it, it’s PG-14 for crying out loud) — (Think . . . Idk—Netflix has PG-14 which is on the cusp of being “Mature”, so go off that I guess)

Note:

Unfortunately in order to create the story I want to tell (even if it is a kids show) it has to feature at least some of these. However these two rating are literally based on violence only.

I don’t usually have swearing in my stories (it makes me uncomfortable to write unless it’s literally the only way the sentence flows/or it makes sense for the character, I only have a few exceptions however like Hell/Damn even then I still don’t use them often) — That also goes for sexual content, that doesn’t exist here. You want smooches? You get a little kissy, that’s it.

However keep in mind, we can have certain aspects of both. If you want a scarier story in the eyes of PG-13, we can do that. I’ll just be careful how I approach the subject.

(This is the only way I can actually explain how the story will play out by literally rating it. By giving it a rating most people are going to understand what it means and will judge based on their interests/age. Please be responsible and respectful. I am not responsible for your choices, especially if you are under the age of 13.)

[artobotsrollout]

Headcanon that Starscream has a tendency to just sorta perch on things sometimes.

Megatron has a standing order that if anyone tells his Second in Command about how it's 'unusual behaviour' they are to be immediately executed because he absolutely loves seeing the unnerved expressions everyone gets from this cryptid gargoyle of a mech just chilling on high objects.

This is not a seeker thing but exclusively a Starscream thing.

Dreadwing almost had a spark attack once when he heard Starscream cackle and call him a showoff from god only knows where during a battle where he swore it was just him and one autobot in the area. Sure maybe he was doing more sword tricks than strictly necessary but HEY RUDE!

Breakdown asked Megatron about it once and the warlord couldn't really give a solid answer beyond 'I think he enjoys feeling tall.'

It's not super goofy looking either he somehow manages to make it look elegant and intimidating. Knockout asked Breakdown to boost him on top of some spare energon cubes once because he was curious and... even he looked goofy as all hell. How the ever loving hell Starscream pulls it off is a mystery.

Starscream got super drunk on high grade once and perched on high, but fairly well hidden spots in the rec room and other communal areas and whispered the dumbest rumours during crowded hours to make it seem as though anyone could have said it. He also chucked small rocks at crew members every now and then and quietly cackled at the baffled and slightly offended confusion. He still refuses to correct the rumours he started and it takes all his willpower not to laugh anytime he hears them. Some of them have evolved too and he thinks it's the funniest shit.

Rumours that are absolutely made up but Starscream refuses to correct:

-Knockout is the reason Soundwave wears a mask all the time. Soundwave should never have scratched his finish. (Knockout actually appreciates this one for the fear factor it instills and Soundwave hasn't corrected it cause he thinks it's hilarious. He may have once or twice even stoked the fire of this rumour)

-Megatron and Optimus are secretly an item currently and just good at hiding it. (cue knowing looks and nudges from vehicons whenever Megatron tries to get Optimus's attention.)

-Megatron was never actually a gladiator, he just was super into fighting movies and payed for body mods to look cool.

-Optimus was not an archivist but the real gladiator who just liked to read a lot.

-Megatron is a lightweight. (Megatron enjoys proving this rumour wrong to the shame of the asker. It's still around cause no one wants to admit how Megatron absolutely decimated them in drinking games like they were a beginning game NPC who challenged Megs and his level 100 Charizard.)

-Megatron is Breakdown's brother. (Cue a seriously confused Breakdown.)

-Ratchet was always that strong and good a fighter. Synth-en had nothing to do with it beyond making him more impulsive. Team Prime had to nerf him so their medic didn't make them all look bad.

-Soundwave is basically the cybertronian equivalent of a demon. Only a select few cybertronians can see him and if you can see him don't look at him or talk about him unless you want him going all enderman on your ass.

-Humans eat Dark Energon being the spawn of Unicron and everything.

-Airachnid is what happens when you mix spiders and bad energon.

-Breakdown lost his eye because he looked at Soundwave and Soundwave went all enderman on his ass.

-Starscream has already killed Megatron and taken over. Megatron is actually just a cloned puppet that Soundwave and Starscream use to keep subjects loyal.

-Knockout personally did the Empurata procedure on Shockwave (the whole remove head and replace with single optic deal ) . Shockwave never should have scratched his finish.

-Megatron and Optimus are secretly the same guy.

-Starscream is Amalgamous Prime in disguise

-Megatron once punched his own reflection because it 'looked at him funny'

-Knockout and Bumblebee are the same guy.

-The human Illuminati conspiracy is actually Soundwave brainwashing popular humans to do his bidding.

-Megatron eats humans sometimes.

-Megatron eats vehicons sometimes

-Megatron is a bad dancer (No one knows if this is true or false, not even Starscream. Drunk Starscream just thought a rumour about it would be really funny.)

-Megatron is bad at math.

LISTEN Starscream started so many unflattering ones about Megatron.

[maraudersbutmuggle]

Promise me, we will always be the same

Sirius let Remus play with his hair. And he was enjoying his time, with his friends. It was hard seeing each other now that they were out of Hogwarts. But they always found the time.

"Did you know..." Peter was saying "That humans are evolving, so we loose abilities that there are not use for us anymore... Who knows, probably in the future, we will lose out ability to sneeze"

"That's ridiculous, Wormy" Remus said

"No, think about it. What was the last time that you sneezed?"

"I haven't sneezed in a long time!" Sirius panicked

"I don't remember the last time I sneezed" Mary added

"Bloody hell..." Marelene sighed in frustration, having her drink.

"I sneezed this morning" Dorcas shrugged

"But... maybe you're are not sneezing as often" Peter said

"It is scientifically prooved that we need to sneeze. Otherwise we would die" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Not because we are more evolved humans" Peter ended satisfied.

"It actually makes sense, Wormy"

"I can't believe you are believing this. Pads"

"Wormy is rational"

"I am rational"

"You are a pair of idiots" Marlene shook her head

Mary smiled "Okay, I am bored. Do we know why aren't The Potters here yet?"

"Shush" Sirius said "Macdonald. There are not even married"

"But they practically are"

"But they're not"

"They are probably shagging" Peter shrugged.

"Or stuck in traffic?" Dorcas suggested.

"Don't get jealous, Sirius. James is always going to be your mistress" Marlene smiled.

Everyone laughed.

"Shut up.... Moony?" Sirius looked at Remus for support.

"Don't look at me, love. I am 100% aware of you secret affair with James"

Everyone laughed again.

"Assholes"

Sirius loved Lily. The ginger was so cool. She was kind, and caring. And she knew perfectly well how to manage James. But Sirius couldn't help but think, James was slipping away.

Sirius got it. James had Lily. And Sirius had Remus. Sirius loved Remus. But ever since Hogwarts. And ever since Fleamont went sick, Sirius barely saw James. Sirius missed James.

Like seeing each other's faces all day. And laying in the same bed telling each other random stuff. And acting all silly. And only by looking at each other agreeing with an idea for the next prank. Laughing at the most stupid things.

Nobody understood that. So yeah, everyone joked about them being a couple and each other's husbands. But James was Sirius' best friend. And he would always be.

"There they are" Dorcas pointed to the door.

James and Lily were entering the pub. They looked genuinely happy. Holding each other's hands. When James saw them, he waved. And Lily smiled. James whispered something on Lily's ear. And she smiled and nodded. They finally walked to their table.

And Sirius was happy for his friend. But he also wanted him back. He wanted The Marauders back. The four of them.

"Hello beautiful people" Lily smiled

They exchanged greetings and kisses on the cheek.

"Oi... Prongs" Sirius said when they were all seated "What was the last time you sneezed?"

James raised an eyebrow.

"For fuck's sake" Marlene sighed.

"I... I don't remember"

"See? There's my point!" Peter exclaimed.

"Yeah Wormy!" Sirius hit his palm. Then he hit Remus' palm, who smiled rolling his eyes, and then James' palm, who accepted without asking.

The Marauders back on track.

"What's going on?" Lily asked to the girls

"They think we are losing our ability to sneeze" Mary rolled her eyes.

"We are?" James asked surprised.

"No we are not!" Remus answered.

"Indeed, that's totally ridiculous" Lily added. Of course. The lovers of logic.

"Thank you, sweetheart!" Remus hit her palm.

"I also think you guys are mental" Marlene said

"I believe in you guys" Dorcas smiled.

"Cas!" Marlene gasped. Sirius laughed.

"Sorry, Marly"

"Thank you, Cas" Peter smiled.

"Prongs?" Sirius raised an eyebrow "What do you think?"

Sirius wanted to proof the goofy and immature James was still there. Because Sirius was. And he was not ready to grow up.

"Oh of course I'm on your team Pads" James said "I clearly haven't sneezed in days for me to not remember"

"Yes!" Peter beamed.

Remus and Marlene groaned at the same time. Lily rolled her eyes and kissed James' cheek.

Sirius smiled widely. James would always be the wanker he loved. Prongs and Pads being silly and childish forever.

"Can we talk about something else?" Mary asked annoyed.

"Amm..." Lily bit her lip "Actually yes..."

"Aren't you getting drinks first?" Marlene asked

"I'll get a refill" Dorcas stood up "Shall I get you a pint?"

"Oh thank you, Cas" James smiled. "One for me"

"Lily?"

"Oh, no thank you. I'm fine"

"Come on, Ginger" Sirius commented "One pint won't kill you"

"She can't drink, mate" James said.

Mary gasped in surprise covering her mouth. Dorcas sat down overwhelmed.

"No way, Lily. Really?" Marlene snorted.

Lily smiled and nodded. James was smiling too.

"What's going on?" Remus asked. And Sirius thanked he was confused as he was.

"I'm very confused too" Peter said.

The boys exchanged looks. Sirius thought girls had a secret power to communicate things between each other. But James knew what was going on too.

"Prongs..." Sirius hissed "Care to explain?"

James smiled wider. He and Lily held hands, while the girls were giggling excited. And Sirius panicked.

"Lily is pregnant, lads" James said as if he didn't believe it himself still. James and Lily smiled at each other. "Oh, and I'm the father"

Sirius stopped breathing for a second. As if someone had punched him in the stomach.

The girls laughed. They seemed pretty excited about the news.

"Oh my God, guys" Mary exclaimed

"You're nineteen" Marlene snorted.

Sirius' point exactly. Nineteen. It seemed like yesterday that they graduated from Hogwarts. Because it was only a year ago.

"Wow" Peter managed to say.

"Do you know what a condom is?" Remus laughed

"Ha ha ha" James rolled his eyes

"Very funny, Remus" Lily blushed.

Remus smiled. And Sirius stared at him. Remus was okay with this?

"Are you gonna keep it?" Dorcas asked "If you don't mind me asking"

"Yeah..." Lily nodded.

"We already told our parents" James added.

FLEAMONT AND EUPHEMIA KNEW?

"And they are going to help us" James continued.

"And we are hoping you too" Lily smiled.

"Of course!" Mary said.

"Except changing diapers" Peter added.

"That's gonna be you main job, Uncle Wormy" James teased.

"Please no"

"I'll help only if you name your baby Marlene"

"We are not gonna do that Mckinnon" James shook his head.

"Am I nothing to you?"

"Padfoot, are you okay?" Remus whispered in Sirius' ear.

And Sirius realized he was very still. With his glass half way up. He hadn't said anything. And he was probably very pale.

Sirius nodded.

"Congratulations" Sirius said, interrupting everyone. But he didn't sound very cheerful.

James and Lily turned to look at him.

"Thank you, Sirius" Lily smiled.

"Ah, stop right there, Padfoot" James smiled awkwardly "Don't start suggesting weird names for my baby"

"Like Elvendork" Remus added, trying to cheer Sirius up. Remus knew him too well.

"Elvendork?" Dorcas asked.

"Sirius named his bike like that" Mary explained.

Sirius faked a smile "Don't worry" he said, and he stood up "I'm having a cig...Moony..." he exchanged his hand.

Remus was usually the one buying cigs. Sirius just smoked occasionally.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Remus said as he gave Sirius the pack.

"No, don't worry"

And Sirius went outside, aware of James' concerned glares on him.

Sirius was angry. They were growing up too fast. Mostly everyone had jobs. Even Dorcas who graduated this July was looking for a job. Just the other day, Remus and Sirius had to sit down and do the maths to divide expenses and bills. And Sirius had been bored as hell, trying to seduce Remus instead, but receiving a yell telling him to be more mature.

Sirius didn't want to be mature. Sirius wanted to be young forever. Most people hate school. But for Sirius, it had been the best experience. Sharing dorm with The Marauders, sharing adventures with The Marauders, sharing secrets with The Marauders, sharing pranks with The Marauders.

Having a relationship with Remus was the best that Sirius could've asked for. Having his beautiful Moony between his arms.

But sometimes, he just missed being silly with his friends. And he missed McGonagall, and Dumbledore, and driving Filch crazy. And caring about stupid exams or essays. And coming up with Tom & Jerry conspirances at 3 in the morning.

That's what Sirius had found in Benjy, his art school friend. Yeah, he was older. But he was still full of life, seeking for fun and adventures. And single... Far away thinking about children. Far away.

Sirius felt James' presence next to him. He leaned on the wall, besides Sirius. And sighed. Sirius tried to ignore him.

"I... I actually think Elvendork would be a cool name for a baby" James started.

Sirius couldn't avoid but smile.

"Is unisex" he added.

"See? Convenient" James smiled back.

"You must be freaking scared" Sirius said. Because he was. And he hadn't got anyone pregnant.

James sighed "Yeah I am freaking scared..." he said "But also really happy"

Sirius simply nodded.

"Like when you're about to ride the rollercoaster" James explained "And you're really nervous, like with a lot of adrenaline and swallowing your vomit..."

"Very graphic..."

"But you know it would be worth it" James continued, and" he smiled "You want to go through that experience, even if it seems scary"

Sirius was silent for a while, only having his cigarette.

"What did Monty and Effie say?" Sirius asked "I'm surprised they didn't kill you"

"They almost did" James laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius didn't want to sound hurt, but he did.

"I'm telling you now"

"With everyone else... Like you don't care about my opinion" Sirius looked down.

"Pads..." James sighed "I do care about your opinion" he said "What's your opinion?"

Sirius shrugged "I... I'm scared of everything changing" he said, trying not to cry "I'm scared of stoping being us. Like The Marauders. We barely see each other. With Moony is different because he is my lover and I shag him..."

"Okay..."

"And Wormy is still Wormy but far away" Sirius continued "And you are... You're gonna be a father" Sirius snorted, still not believing it "And that child is gonna take all the energy from you. And when we less think about it, you will become a semi bold lad with a belly, going after 5 kids running around..."

James shivered "No please no"

"The Marauders are over..."

"Wow..." James said "That's not true"

Sirius turned to look at him.

"I still have a sick pack thank you very much" James rubbed his belly "And I am cool and young"

Sirius didn't answer.

"Listen, Pads" James sighed "We are never gonna stop being The Marauders. Never. Even when we are grey and old. We are still going to prank our grandchildren putting fart bags under their pillows"

Sirius smiled.

"Yeah... We had an incredible time at Hogwarts" James continued "With all the pranks and the parties and the silly jokes. We had our adventures..." he smiled "And yeah that part is over. But we are still having adventures... Like being in relationships, and having babies, and having grown up parties, and having jobs and paying taxes..."

"Fun" Sirius said sarcastically

James laughed "We are in a different stage of our lives" he said "But we are always going to be us. And I am always going to be your best friend. And we are still going to laugh about silly things. We are going to be Marauders"

Sirius snorted.

"So we had our years as Hogwarts Marauders" James added "And now we are Adult Marauders. But with incredible girls as friends. And Lily, and my future baby"

And Sirius knew it. James might be the goofy asshole he loved, but he had matured. He was wize and supportive. He would be an incredible father. And Lily and incredible mother.

"You're going to be an incredible father, James" Sirius said, looking into his eyes.

James smiled nervously "You think?"

"You and The Ginger are practically everyone's parents so..." Sirius smiled "That child is lucky to have you. I wish I could've had that luck" Sirius sighed thinking about Orion and Walburga.

James rubbed Sirius' hair affectionately.

"Cheers Padfoot" he said "Now, you left all grumpy and dramatic" James teased "Before Lily and I got the chance to ask you..."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Would you like to be my baby's godfather?"

Sirius laughed. He started laughing to express all the happiness he was feeling. James was right. It would be an adventure to raise that child. And Sirius was going to help. And be the baby's bad influence. Sirius was ready. A baby Marauder.

"You mean, Dogfather?" Sirius giggled.

James snorted "I'm asking Remus instead..."

"No! Prongsie. I was joking!" Sirius pouted.

James laughed. He was genuinely laughing like they used to. Like children. And Sirius joined him. They started giggling like idiots.

"Promise me, Prongs" Sirius said "We will always be the same"

"Promise, Pads"

And they hugged tightly.

[mittensmorgul]

Since the finale aired, I’ve been yammering on about how it would’ve only worked as a finale to s2, and now that I’m actually rewatching s2, I stand by that even more staunchly. The finale doesn’t work in a post-s2 supernatural universe.

This is the version of Dean we saw in the finale-- the one whose only mission in life was to Save Sammy, to help him get his revenge and allow him to go out and live a Normal Safe Life pretending that hunting and monsters don’t exist. The one who just wanted some pie, to drive his car, and had no real connections beyond Sam in the world outside of Bobby. Even Dean’s characterization in the finale is this far younger Dean who’d never allowed himself to crack open and truly understand love. It would take me years to plow through everything I’ve ever written about him as a character and his long struggle to emotional maturity we saw evolve over the next 13 years beyond this episode, but the tl;dr will always be “this s2 Dean is the same as the Dean in the finale.”

The goal of s2 was saving SAM from his “destiny,” too. In this era of the show, Dean didn’t have a “destiny” the same way Sam did. The ONLY thing that mattered was freeing Sam from “becoming evil,” and being manipulated into terrible things. What Dean wanted, what he was “destined” for by the narrative was irrelevant, because all of his choices and emotional burdens were tied only to saving Sam. To freeing Sam so he could safely return to his “normal life.” Go back to college, have a family and the white picket fence life.

This was before Dean truly began fighting for HIMSELF. Which only really and truly began after he sells his soul to resurrect Sam. That’s when Dean truly begins fighting for himself. Sure, he’s angry with John during s2 for trading his own life for Dean’s, for putting the burden of “if you can’t save Sam, you’ll have to kill him” on his shoulders with his dying breath, but Dean is still fighting against John’s authority and the complicated tangle of feelings of his own childhood and not actually coming to terms with his own wants and needs and wishes out beyond that yet. He’s still unwittingly confronting the “destiny” John had set up for him, and hasn’t moved beyond that yet. It’s only trading his soul for Sam’s that finally brings Dean into the cosmic narrative that will fuel his introspection and personal growth for the rest of the series.

And out beyond that point, his entire character arc explodes into orbit.

Dean’s entire character arc in s3 is confronting this very basic fact: he doesn’t deserve to have been sacrificed just to save Sam. He doesn’t deserve that burden, and he does deserve to live. This is the realization he comes to before eventually being dragged to Hell and then rescued by an angel, who literally tells him, “you don’t think you deserve to be saved” in the aftermath of that. From that point on, we have TWELVE SEASONS of Dean struggling with what he “deserves” versus what is “fate” and “destiny” and eventually confronting what he WANTS if he truly could choose his own destiny.

Plus, out beyond that point, he has Cas. And nothing changes Dean, pushes him to grow and understand himself, and accept himself-- all of himself, from the good to the horrific-- than the pure and unflinching acceptance of Castiel. Cas never looked at him and said “you are evil,” or “you are worthless.” (well, they’ve both said some pretty awful stuff to each other over the years, but there was either brainwashing or other deeper issues pushing those things on them, and they have ALWAYS eventually come back to one another, and the awful stuff was dealt with). Point is, Dean and Cas both began running these parallel arcs of duty versus desire, and for Dean, the duty was always framed around “taking care of Sam” versus pursuing any sort of ambition or goals for himself. They would fight for this for most of the rest of the series, until eventually the goal for ALL of them would be about discovering what they would want for themselves.

The show explicitly dealt with this, repeatedly, over later seasons, asking all of the characters the big questions: is this what you would choose for yourself? What WOULD you choose for yourself if you could?

And then they made the narrative of the final season, of the final Big Bad, the fact that they had NEVER had real freedom, and that their entire lives (and the entire history of not only this universe but every parallel universe) had been Chuck’s Puppet Theater, and true free will had been a lie all this time. Pushing all of the characters to confront their own choices and understand what about who they were as people was separate from what Chuck pushed them into choosing and doing all these years. The main thing that Dean (and also Cas, and to the extent she was included in the narrative this was Eileen’s issue as well) were being pushed to come to terms with what really was real, and were their feelings and choices their own or imposed on them for the furtherance of Chuck’s story.

At the end of the road, finally free and out from under Chuck’s control, they knew what was real. For Sam and Eileen, they had chosen each other. Cas had chosen Dean, but Dean hadn’t yet had a chance to reply, but anyone with two eyes and a brain knows what he would’ve said in return. It’s what Cas stopped him from saying even back in Purgatory in 15.09. And yet, for some reason Sam and Dean forgot all of that, as if none of it had ever even really happened at all, and we went right back to who they were right after they finally defeated the YED, before we even knew Azazel had a name, let alone the fact that the ultimate boogeyman of their entire lives to that point had been nothing more than a fanatic pawn in a much larger destiny for both of them.

The end of s2 was the last time Dean sacrificing himself so Sam could have a normal life, where Dean really felt there was nothing more for himself than fulfilling his father’s orders to save Sammy, even feels remotely plausible. It’s the last time we can feel like Dean might find peace and contentment in a Heaven where John is nearby to be proud of him, and where Dean would actually feel like that validation was even relevant to his own life.

And that finally brings me back to s2, where that was actually addressed through John’s self-sacrifice to save Dean, to serve Dean up to the narrative and provide a stage for this self-transformative journey INTO being a version of John himself. Only... Dean DOESN’T choose that. He fights to save Sam at all costs, even when it seems clear that the right answer would probably be to KILL Sam instead. When not only the ghost of John Winchester plaguing Dean’s mind would make him doubt his own drive to save his brother, but the John Winchester Insert Character of s2-- Gordon Walker-- basically put Dean’s own doubts out there in plain words in 2.10:

GORDON: I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional. I'd heard you were more of a professional than this. Look, let's say you were cruising around in that car of yours and, uh, you had little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was just some goofy, crappy artist. But you knew what he was going to turn into someday. You'd take him out, no questions, am I right?

DEAN: That's not Sam.

GORDON: Yes it is. You just can't see it yet. Dean, it's his destiny. Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has got to hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing. It would wreck him. But your dad? If it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. But you're telling me you're not the man he is?

This, the episode where Dean finally confesses John’s final orders to Sam, where Dean has decided that saving Sam is all that matters, even when circumstance and everyone else is practically screaming at him that this could all be over if only he gave in-- be it his own self-sacrifice OR killing Sam. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, the universe doesn’t care (and neither does Chuck... especially at this point... and the proof of that is Sam’s s15 nightmares where one of Chuck’s alternate universe endings for Sam and Dean was Sam actually going Darkside on demon blood and killing Dean... any iteration of the old drama, Chuck has explored all potential endings-- oh, except the ending where TFW gets to just be happy and live... that’s the one ending they never get and the only one they deserved in the end).

also from 2.10... loads of chat about “destiny” and one of Dean’s first “we should just lay all this shit down and take a vacation” moments when he suggests they go to Amsterdam and enjoy some of the not-coffee-coffee-shops, which Sam counters by doubling down on the fact that Dean has a destiny in all this as much as Sam does:

SAM: Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.

DEAN: Ah, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.

SAM: You mean you don't believe in my destiny.

DEAN: Yeah, whatever.

SAM: Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.

DEAN: I can try.

And that’s it, right there. This is the “neither of you can try for a normal life outside of the other while the other is still alive.” This is Sam pinning a destiny to Dean that’s just as inescapable within Chuck’s narrative as Sam’s demon blood and psychic powers. 

This is the core essence of Chuck’s story about them. The sibling dynamic that Chuck failed to free himself from, and that Sam and Dean failed to free themselves from after Chuck’s demise in 15.19.

Destiny. One must die so the other can live.

And considering the next 13 seasons of the show and the long and emotionally grueling character arcs Sam and Dean proceed through where they truly confront the core of who they are as people-- as individuals outside of their duty and destiny-- the finale ceases to make any sense outside of Chuck’s narrative for them. If 15.20 really happened exactly as we saw it on screen, then Chuck still won.

And they had to loop Sam and Dean all the way back to where they were emotionally at the end of s2 in order to make it seem plausible. Which, for those of us who actually care about what they endured after s2, makes the finale entirely implausible as a whole.

[shera-dnd]

A Day at a Time - Recovery

After an unreasonably long hiatus and an even more unreasonable amount of rewrites, it is finally fucking done, the final chapter of my modern au glitradora fanfic.

As usual here’s the AO3 link if you’d rather read it there and let us move on with the show

Catra woke up to Melog licking her face, bright and early like he usually did. She groaned and grumbled, still exhausted from the past couple of days, but still gave her boy plenty of pets and kisses. He had pretty much saved her life, after all.

Yesterday still felt hazy to her, like it hadn’t really happened. That had been her lowest point since she started therapy and taking meds. It was like slipping in and out of a dream all day, with barely any energy to even acknowledge how awful she felt, let alone get up and do anything about it. It took Glimmer and Adora showing up to get her to even eat.

“I must have really scared you, huh Melog?” She commented, sitting up on her bed “I’m sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to make you worry.”

The cat splayed himself on top of Catra’s lap, begging for more pets, which Catra happily gave.

“I’m glad things got better too.” She offered him a weak smile. “Thank you for getting them. I don’t know what I would do without you”

Seemingly satisfied with the pets and now full of energy to burn, Melog tried to drag his mom out of bed so they could eat and play.

“Yeah, let’s not dwell on that...” She chuckled at herself a little, before finally getting out of bed.

Using her bathroom and looking in the mirror every morning was always a pain even when she looked her best - fuck gender dysphoria and fuck her beard for coming back all the time - but today it felt extra bad, because she looked like absolute garbage. That’s what crying in bed for several hours does to you.

She sighed, took her meds and washed her face.

Nope, still looked awful. Apparently being accepted and cared for by the people she loved wasn’t enough to cure her deep-seated self image issues. Looks like all those romance novels lied to her. Well, one step at a time.

And the next step was breakfast, so she made herself a nice meal and left some extra tuna for Melog. She had barely sat down to enjoy that meal, when she heard a knock on the door.

“Hey, Catra,” She heard Adora calling from outside. “Are you ready to work out?”

Catra put her food aside and did her best to look annoyed about this. Being interrupted this early in the morning was a pain in the ass, but it was vastly overshadowed by how excited she was that Adora really came back. They said they’d try to spend more time with her now, but she still worried that they were only saying it to make her feel better.

So today was a little harder for her to put on her grumpy act as she opened the door to greet her crush “Hey, Adora.” She grumbled “Not sure if you can tell, but it’s raining outside. How exactly do you plan on jogging like that?”

“I think we’ve had enough cardio for now.” Adora answered “It’s about time we did some weight exercises!”

“Why do I have a feeling I’m gonna hate this?” She groaned.

“Oh we are,” Adora somehow managed to shoot Catra a beaming smile as she said that. “But we’re gonna look hot as hell, so it’s gonna be all worth it!”

Catra did not understand how Adora wasn’t aware of how insanely hot she already was, but she wasn’t gonna say that outloud. Instead she decided to mess with her “Are you saying that I’m not hot as hell already?”

“I- What? No!” That seemed to be enough to short out Adora and deeply amuse Catra “I already…” She lowered her voice considerably. “I already think you’re really hot”

Catra was certainly not expecting that earnest response and it certainly had an effect on her poor heart. “H-hey I was just joking!” She awkwardly replied. “Just come on it. Let me finish my breakfast and then we can start.”

~~~

Catra didn’t know who invented planks, but she hated them with a passion. She wanted to say that she hated Adora too for putting her through that hell for what felt like an hour - it was only a minute - but she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to hate her even if she tried.

After this gruelling workout routine, the only thing Catra wanted was to lay down on the yoga mat and maybe pass out for a bit. Unfortunately that request was denied by another person knocking on her door.

“I can get it if you-”

“I’m fine, thanks.'' Catra interrupted, forcing herself up. Fuck, her abs were so sore, but maybe now she would get actual abs. “Hey.” she greeted as she opened the door.

“Hey, Catra I- Oh wow.” Glimmer seemed to freeze for a second as she tried to process Catra and Adora in their workout clothes, covered in sweat.

“That bad, huh?” Catra joked, looking unbearably smug.

“Oh shut up!” Glimmer complained “I wanted to check in on you, but it looks like you’re doing just fine.”

“Oh come on, Sparkles,” Catra smirked, making way for her to enter. “At least stay for a glass of water, you look like you need it.”

“Very funny.” She rolled her eyes as she walked into the apartment, stopping to give Adora a kiss on the cheek on the way in.

Catra tried not to feel bad about that, but it was harder than she’d like to admit. They had said they wanted her to be a part of their relationship and she was happy for that, but it still felt like their affection was always more directed at each other than at her.

Glimmer seemed to notice. She gave Catra a comforting smile, before walking up to her and giving her a matching kiss. Her lips were soft and Catra couldn’t help the awkward smile that formed in her face. Her expression evolved into a full on flustered blush as she noticed that Adora was not only watching, but giving them both the brightest smile she had ever seen.

“What’re you looking at!?” Catra bit back, trying to sound annoyed.

“Nothing...” She replied, with the goofiest smile she could muster.

Catra grumbled a little more, refusing to acknowledge how happy this made her. “Sparkles, your girlfriend is being weird.”

Glimmer chuckled at that “Do you want her to stop?”

No, Catra absolutely did not want her to stop. She couldn’t even begin to describe how much she yearned for their affection. What she also couldn’t do is be honest about that feeling. It took her worst relapse in a long time for her to open up to them yesterday and she certainly didn’t wanna go through that again.

She couldn’t say no, but saying yes would mean that Adora wouldn’t be a big adorable goof around her anymore. So she settled with the only other option she had left, and glared daggers at them both.

Catra couldn’t tell what led her to that conclusion, but Adora seemed to assume that giving her and Glimmer a big sweaty hug was the perfect thing to do in response to that.

“Eww eww eww!” Glimmer complained, struggling to escape her arms. Catra was already sweaty, but still strained to escape the open display of affection.

When they finally managed to break free, Glimmer pointed at the door and ordered “Shower! Now!”

Adora chuckled “Alright alright.” She leaned in to give Glimmer a kiss on the cheek, before she turned to Catra and asked “Mind if I get back here after that?”

Catra didn’t know what to say. She still had a hard time grasping that people might want to spend time with her and that she isn’t just forcing them to endure her presence, and this situation did not help her one bit. Part of her was still afraid that this would crumble to dust in front of her if she made a single mistake.

Still, if this was gonna disappear at any moment, then the least she could do was try to enjoy it while it lasted.

She leaned forward and kissed Adora’s cheek “You better.”

Adora’s goofy smile returned to her in full force as she nearly hopped and skipped her way out of the apartment. Catra couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Wow.” Glimmer started, in a joking tone “That bad?”

“Oh shut up!” She laughed and playfully shoved Glimmer. Only when she recoiled did Catra realize just how sweaty she was.

“Oh no.” Was Sparkles’ only response as Catra shot her evilest grin. She barely had a second to run before Catra came after with her arms spread wide.

“Come on, Sparkles,” Catra laughed as she ran after her. “Don’t you want some affection?”

“No!” She yelled, “No! Eww!” Unfortunately for her, the apartment was small and Catra was far more accustomed to it than she was and soon she was brought into her sweaty embrace “Ugh, I hate you.”

“Aww love you too, Sparkles!” The whole sentence escaped Catra’s mouth before she even processed what she was saying “I mean- I uh-”

Glimmer pulled her into a kiss and softly spoke “I know. I like you too.” Catra hated how easy it was to stun her with simple things like these. “Now let me go before I kick your ass.” She added, playfully.

“Alright alright.” Catra laughed as she let go of her.

“How about you follow Adora’s lead and go take a shower too?” She suggested.

“Wouldn’t it be a bit weird for me to just leave you alone in my apartment while I’m showering?”

“But you aren’t leaving me alone,” She replied, “I have Melog.” As if on cue, he climbed onto the sofa and began staring at the both of them.

Catra rolled her eyes and turned to Melog. “You make sure she behaves while I’m gone.”

He showed no signs of understanding, but her comment still fulfilled its goal of earning a little laugh from Glimmer. That was definitely a sound she could get used to hearing every day.

~~~

By the time she walked out of the shower Adora had already returned. They were both seated on her couch, with Melog doing his best to sprawl onto the both of them for maximum pets and scritches.

“I see you two have made yourselves comfortable.” She commented as she made her way into the room.

“Yeah,” Adora agreed. “Melog made sure we felt very welcome”

“I’m sure he did.” She rolled her eyes as she leaned back against the wall.

In that moment the silence that followed didn’t feel awkward, it felt strangely comfortable. It was like her life was taking a long content sigh at all that had just transpired. Of course this strange and new found peace made Catra immediately suspicious, especially when there was so much uncertainty still in the air.

“So… what now?”

“Well I was thinking I could make you guys some lunch,” Glimmer began. “And then we can maybe binge something on Netflix.”

Catra sighed. “I mean what about us?” she asks, finally admitting her worries. “What are we? What do we do now?”

That seemed to cast the room into a far more uncomfortable silence. Catra couldn’t help but worry that this was that dreaded fuck up that would undo everything.

“I have no idea,” Adora eventually answered, with a shrug. She got up - being careful with Melog as she did - and walked up to Catra “I only just figured how where things stood between me and Glimmer.”

With that Glimmer took her side, arms hooked around her midriff.

“All I know is that I really like the both of you and I wanna be with you two.” She continued, resting one hand on Glimmer’s shoulder and offering her the other. “And we can figure everything else as we go, if you want to.”

She gently took Adora’s hand, just to be yanked forward into a lung crushing hug. A yelp escaped her along with the last of her breath.

“Adora, let her breathe!”

Glimmer’s request only seemed enough for the hug to loosen just enough for her to breathe, while still being extremely tight, and warm, and comforting. It was easy for Catra to, just this once, leave her anxieties aside and lean into this silly little display of affection.

She could do this, she could just be with them and not worry about the future. Just love them and let herself be loved. She knew this wouldn’t fix every problem in her life, but now when those got too much for her to handle, she knew she wouldn’t be doing it alone. Now she had the two of them.

Melog meowed, annoyed that none of that affection was directed at him.

Okay, she had the three of them.

[kawaiijellymonster]

Tomura Shigaraki’s Development

A friend and I have recently been talking a lot about mha and the character development within it, we agreed that the villains, more specifically Tomura experienced significant development and so I wanted to analyze some of that here.

The first time we meet Tomura is when he first attacks U.A in order to get schools plans so he could attack en masse a few days later. This Tomura when we first meet him is very single track minded, childish, and he doesn’t care about the people around him or what happen to them. Tomura attacked U.A because he believes that All Might is bad for society because giving society a pillar to lean on deprives them of the motivation to be strong enough to fight for and defend themselves, he thinks that All Might makes the individuals of the society less self reliant and that that is inherently a bad thing because people will always face an issue with the mindset of “Allmight will save me” rather than “I need to find a way out of this”. 

Tomura was “adopted” by All for One at a very young age, he was given AFO’s last name “Shigaraki” and given Tomura because AFO stated that it meant mourning and that Shigaraki was to become a harbinger of mourning. 

Being raised by All for One gave Tomura unique challenges. Because the way AFO raised him caused him to never grow out of the “I want do do something/have something and I want to have/do it now” ideology that kids live by because he was always given anything he really wanted on a silver platter. All for One also raised him to be devoid of other people in his life, part of this may have been due to his obvious anxiety ( ticks such as his neck scratching are indicative of anxiety) but it was also likely because like Todoroki, AFO was raising him for a reason, Tomura was supposed to have enough hatred for hero society and All Might that if AFO himself was unable to defeat All Might then Tomura could/woudl do it instead. Therefore exposing him to a variety of people with a variety of opinions would have interfered with the conditioning that AFO was trying to impose. 

At the USJ attack it becomes very apparent that while he is intelligent ad can think critically on both macro and micro scales he wasn’t really able to apply that knowledge instantly, he got overwhelmed quickly and became emotional when things didn’t go his way, he only had the thought process of having a bunch of little pawns and then a king hoping that sheer force and numbers could overwhelm the enemy rather than creating a complex and interesting plan that worked off of the abilities of his group. The reason he didn’t do that was 1)because he had never had to before, AFO gave him everything and 2)because he didn’t care about the lives of the people involved. 

All for One leaving his life was one of the most important peices of his development because it required Tomura to begin doing things on his own. He had to create and sustain relationships, quirks and influence were no longer easily at his disposal, nothing was served to him anymore he had to evolve himself in such a way that he grew into the leader role that he had claimed, he had to grapple tooth and nail for every bit of power and influence that he wanted to accheive. 

Thus, the leauge evolved, instead of the begining where it was a bunch of people just kind of existing and doing what Tomura said...just because....It became a group of likeminded individuals who had an issue with society and the way it was run, which in turn forced Tomura to begin cultivating relationships with other people and then made him actually have to put thought into his plans and apply his knowledge properly because the members weren’t strangers anymore, they were friends and perhaps even family. It forced him to change his way of thinking from normal chess where he could sacrifice whoever to get a desired result, to the living chess from the first couple episodes of No Game No Life, the players (members of the leauge) didn’t want to die or get hurt and he does’t want them too either. 

You can clearly see the difference between the two Tomuras if you look at the one who watched as Aizawa beat his members to hell and back during the USJ attack and then look at how Tomura reacted to Magne being killed by Chisaki. He first tried to stop Compress from attacking Chisaki in the first place because he knew it was dangerous, then he stepped up after compress had lost his arm to attack Chisaki himself, because these people actually matter to him now. He clearly is angry at Chisaki’s actions but he still tells twice to stand down because he knows they couldn’t win at that moment and he doesn’t want to lost anyone else that day. 

Moving on to Tomura’s childhood, we know that Tomura killed his family, first his dog, then his mother and sister, and eventually his dad (this one seems to be in self defense given that his dad seems angry and violent, like he might have tried to kill tomura). Then we have a panel where the doctor shows up standing over a bunch of hands and informs him that they are all that is left of his family. 

Those hands become both his trademark and his heavy burden. Tomura wears his fathers hand (or at least the one he refers to as “father”) on his face. This works to remind him of both the fact that he is a monster, and of the past and what he did to his family. It also metaphorically blocked his veiw of the future, keeping him trapped in the dissillusion that AFO created for him. 

However, in recent chapters he has been seen more often without the hands blocking his veiw, he still has them around his body but no longer on his face, its as though the “blinder” from before is slowly being removed and he starting to be able to move forward on his own with his new family and new goals. 

Beforehand while Tomura posed a threat because he was erratic and hard to predict beyond “He’s gonna go after All Might”, now he poses a real actual threat because he has applicable intelligence, a dangerous quirk, and network of people who believe in him and will work with him to acchieve group goals. At the begining he was kinda goofy, the anime did a goood job at animating his kind of carefree languid movements that were slightly menacing, but overall he seemed relatively harmless, like a teenager who’s going through a phase and will get over it. Now he actually seems scary, he seems like someone powerful and dangerous, someone you don’t want to cross. 

This then goes back to the Leauge, the League is a bunch of people who have all been outcast or wronged by society who came together due to relatively similar ideologies and desires to have a place to belong. They are all people who aren’t blinded by the decadance of the Hero society, they see its dark underbelly and the know the wrongs that heroes and citizens commit behind closed doors and when they think people aren’t paying attention. They have all been wronged or outcast for a variety of reasons and it makes the league, their mission, and by proxy Tomura into almost harbingers of Karma. They all want to get back at hero society for something that it has done to them, they’re like the dark things that hero society tries to forget it’s done, but they won’t let them forget, they are working in an attempt to make hero society own up to the injustices that it produces. Which almost makes AFO right, Tomura is a Harbinger, both of mourning but also of a new age, where the injustices of heroes will no longer be tollerated, and due to the development that Tomura has gone through he is the perfect person to be this leader, he isn’t dissillusioned, he is intelligent and complex, and he has become his own person, almost a hero of the villains who is standing there telling them that he will get justice for the wrongs that heroes have commited against them. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Stress”

I thought about this idea during finals week for obvious reasons. As for some of the other stuff, I am still trying to figure out what I want to do. My motivation likes to come and go at odd moments, so the longer, more complicated stuff that requires research is eluding me at the moment, but I hope you all like it :) 

Humanity was crafted in the fire of adversity. On a planet where everything is stronger, faster, and more dangerous than them, they still manage reign supreme. Looking back at their history, the human came down from the trees and developed primarily on hot, hostile prairies of Africa relying on their small bands of family to keep them safe.

Due to the hostile nature of their planet the human has one of the most remarkable and advanced reactions to stress in the sympathetic response of their body, known as the fight or flight system. In response to say, sight of a predator, the human brain immediately releases stress hormones into the blood activating adrenaline and cortisol production. In states like these humans, run faster, jump higher, react quicker, feel less pain, increase their strength, and recognize more frames per second (described by humans as the world slowing down). Additionally the sympathetic response shuts down all parasympathetic actions, which include digestion, growth, ovulation, sex drive, hunger, and other additional functions.

However, this remarkable stress system, which the humans are renowned for, has one horrible downside….. The human body cannot tell the difference between the stress of a predator attack or the stress of a long-term work environment. The human body reacts to deadlines the same way it evolved to react to the chase on the prairies thousands of years ago. Chronic stress is one of the largest dangers posed to your human companions, and should be taken seriously. Long term effects of stress can results in depressed immune systems, sickness, skin problems, high blood pressure, cardiovascular issues, digestive issues, sexual dysfunction, depression, anxiety etc.

Chronic stress is a human’s worst enemy.

***

“I swear by all nine circles of Dante’s hell that if the assembly refuses to hear me out than we are going to have galaxy wide rioting on our hands, and you know who is going to have to deal with it. Me, yeah that’s right, me, just like every other riot, protest, demonstration and sit-in this side of the sector. Just let them be together if they really want, just get them immunized first, Damn!” Commander Vir marched onto the bridge angrily pulling on his jacket and throwing himself down in the Captain’s chair, “Four hours of sleep last night, four, and I have to tell you I am sick and tired of this shit. LIEUTENANT!”

“Yes, Sir.” She asked hesitantly

“What do we have TODAY? What could have possible gone wrong on this fine morning?” The man snarled sarcastically. Krill glanced at Sunny with a worried expression. This was hardly behavior they had come to expect from their friend.

“Well sir, paperwork, as usual, and then you have a conference with the GA at 9, and a report due to the Fleet Admiral at 10. Captain Kamma and Captain Roll need your opinion on dealing with a Finneri dispute over airspace in the Alpha sector, plus the ship is due for routine maintenance, but there is still a little matter about that Vrul scientist that the GA wants transported back to HQ. If you have the reports, I can send them in now…..” She trailed off.

Commander Vir took a deep breath and rested his forehead against one hand messaging his temples, “I haven’t finished the reports yet, I haven’t had enough time to finish the reports, I was doing more important things than finishing the reports like…. Oh, I don’t know trying to put down riots and prevent luting. I think humanity’s public image is more important than some stupid piece of paper. Kind of hard to get anything done when you are trying to keep the entirety of the GA to stop seeing humans as violent militants.”

“Sir, I can-“

“No, I will have the stupid reports done, just give me an hour.” He stood from his chair, “Walk with me.” The supporting crew barely had time to leap from their seats and follow after the man as he marched out of the room. Usually silent, the prosthetic on his leg whirred with excess power as if aware of the man’s agitation. Sunny followed behind the only one able to keep up without jogging. She held Krill by the hand as he floated behind her. Commander Vir answered rapid fire questions left and right as he marched on down the hall. A marine appeared form one of the side halls.

“Captain,”

“Make it quick, Corporal.” The man fell into a jogging step beside him.

“Uh, yes Commander, there seems to be a problem.” A single green eye turned upon the man and narrowed. The entire crew stiffened a little. Krill hid behind Sunny’s bulk. The entire crew had been on edge for weeks now. All of them begged to whatever deity out there that things would get better for their Commander. The crew, once so laid back, and relaxing now found themselves in an enviornment of stress like a rubber band close to sapping, all caused by a triangular ripple effect coming down from on high. When the Commander wasn’t happy, no one was.

Generally, goofy, friendly, social, and fun, the man had slowly grown, irritable, reclusive, and tense as sarcasm and jokes began to fly right over his head….. Accept for the biter angry kind.

“What NOW.”

“Well, sir, the last armament shipment….. well they got our order wrong. We got only two cases of .223.” The man had to speed up a little to keep up

“Two cases! The F*ck are we supposed to do with that. We needed two Pallets not two cases.”

“Yes sir, I know but-“

“Ahg never mind, I’ll call in to the supply department later.” He coughed once or twice, wiping his mouth before pushing past the marine and into the chow hall marching up to the coffee maker and angrily shoving mug under the nozzle. Another glance was exchanged between Sunny and Krill, the man didn’t drink coffee at least he hadn’t until about a week ago. All around, the breakfast crowd looked up from their meals nervously fiddling with their forks and spoons as they watched.

Cup filled up, the man turned in a circle.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Could it have been the unusual power of the prosthetic, the fact that he turned in the direction of his missing eye, or could it have just been coincidence that his leg knocked against the counter sending a wave of hot liquid over his arm and onto the floor as the cup dropped from his hands. The entire room went silent, which only made the shattering of the glass louder followed by the string of abusive, vulgar curses spilling form the man’s mouth that much more poignant. Sure, he wasn’t opposed to cursing, but THAT was excessive.

He waved his arm hissing in pain. Before growing silent, horribly silent. The entire room was still hands raised halfway to their mouths food dripping form forks. He stood very still shoulders hunched hands clenched into half claws.  From their position, Krill and sunny watched as the man’s slow, even breathing began to speed up, blood rushed up to his face, a vein pulsed in his neck.

The expression that came over the human’s face was one of pure animal rage completely out of place in such a setting. Humans and Drev alike ducked for cover, especially telling when it came to the humans, as the man spun in a circle and violently ripped the machine from the wall and throwing it to the floor. Glass and plastic shattered, but that didn’t seem to be enough. The advanced military prosthetic, sensing his anger, whirred to life powerful hydraulics and pistons crackling to life as he engaged the foot. Metal screeched and screamed as it was crushed. Crewmembers cowered further under their tables as the wreckage was kicked violently into the air. The power of the prosthetic sent it halfway across the room where it smashed into the ground shattering whatever piece of equipment was left.

Then slowly they looked up watching as the man spun in an agitated circle, paced to the right, then to the left before screaming through his teeth and running out of the room leaving a scene of carnage behind him.

***

Krill and Sunny found him three hours later forced to explain to the admiral and the GA of the commander’s absence.

They found him in a service tunnel running the side of the engine room sitting in the red emergency lights on the floor with his legs curled to his chest, and his arms about his dog’s neck. The animal had her head resting on his shoulder tail tucked between her legs as if she knew something was terribly wrong.

Sunny had trouble squirming through the close opening, but eventually hauled her bulk into the small space, “Adam?”

The man didn’t look up but a desperate chuckle broke from his lips cracked and breathless, “Great, just what I needed, for you guys to see me like this…… what did the admiral say? Am I fired?”

Krill scuttled around the side of Sunny squeezing himself past her bulk with a huff, “Commander, why would they fire you. Preposterous, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Sunny managed to make it to her knees and then into a low crouch, “Vir, the Admiral actually said that…. Now maybe you’ll understand because I didn’t and I quote, ‘I’m impressed the boy managed to make it this long, my first breakdown was two weeks after I started, and I nearly ran my car into a tree.”

The dog whimpered as the man lifted his head, throwing it back with a shaky breath, “You don’t have to try and make me feel better Sunny. The damage is done, I messed up, and I lost in in front of the crew like a child, and I can’t help but think about how much of a jackass I’ve been for the last few weeks. I’m garbage at this, I should never have taken the job.”

Krill huffed scuttling down the short hallway and over to the man, “Oh what is it you humans say…… pity party is over. Man up and talk to us, you are being horribly illogical, and that is something I cannot abide. Start from the beginning and tell us what’s wrong so we can fix it. You ARE the commander of this ship and you deserve to be here, so might as well fix the problem while we can.”

Fifteen minute later, Krill had ushered them out of the engine room and back to his infirmary where the Commander now hunched on the edge of one of the beds elbows resting on his knees as he stared down at the floor. Krill bustled around him like krill always did examining his burned arm, if there was a problem, he fixed it. That’s just the way he was, Sunny listened.

He rubbed the sides of his head again, “I’ve just been so….. Stressed, I have so much to do, and I don’t have enough time, everyone is counting on me, and now with the riots…. I just….. my body is falling apart, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat because when I do I get nauseous, my head hurts all the time, I’ve bene sick for like…. I don’t know, a month. Feels like my heart never slows down, and someone has their hand around my chest just…. Squeezing. Plus.” He lifted up his shirt exposing his pale stomach, and the livid red bumps across his stomach raised and strangely discolored, “I broke out in hives yesterday, haven’t done that since I was a kid.”

Krill paused shooting the man a glower, hands resting on his hip equivalent, “And you never thought to, oh I don’t know talk to a DOCTOR because you don’t have one of those just conveniently lying around.”

Vir rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, “I…. its stress related Krill, there’s nothing you can do medically for me.” Sunny had moved at this point slowly walking over towards her two friends, and before Krill or Vir could say anything, she pulled the man into her arms, all four of them, and hugged him lifting him completely and easily off the ground. He went quiet in surprise and Krill looked up at her in annoyance.

“Hugs are good for humans. Supposed to relieve stress…. I think.” Sunny said. She thought for a moment he would pull away, but after a few seconds he sagged against her read resting against her chest. Krill relented with a sigh and stepped back.

A muffled voice, “What am I supposed to do Sunny?”

Krill tapped one of his feet on the floor, “The way I see it, Commander, there is only one logical course of action.”

***

The crew watched from where they sat or stood around the chow hall, on or around the tables as the man, their Commander, awkwardly shuffled his feet and stared down at the floor, “I…. have to apologize to…. To all of you for my….. Deplorable behavior lately. “He took a deep breath and looked up with clear difficulty, “The way I have been acting is very unprofessional, and the outbursts are just as bad. I know there are no excuses for what I have done, and I take responsibility but I have been under a lot of stress lately, and I am still learning how to deal with it.”

Some members of the crowd nodded along with him, some frowned, but the vast majority gave encouraging smiles. “That’s alright, Commander, we understand.” Someone said from the back followed by a chorus of agreement.

One of the marines stood up, “We forgive you, Commander, and I have one word for you….” He turned to the room and waved his hand in a wide arc over his head, “Delegation.”

“Delegation?” The man questioned

“Yeah.” The marine said, “Like since you’re a boss you can make everyone else do the work for you.”

The commander shook his head, “I no… I couldn’t”

Just then the lieutenant took to her feet, “Just hear him out, sir. He’s right, you’ve been trying to do everything yourself, and it isn’t healthy. There are plenty of things you can outsource. I mean some of the other captains have specialties in certain areas, and you could put them in charge. And here, on the crew, you could appoint someone as the head of a sector, and just have them report in. They can deal with the little stuff and you can do the big stuff. For instance, I’m great at writing, I was an English major before joining the army, so I can write the reports….. and no offence, but you suck ass at writing… sir.”

The crew broke out into laughter, Vir grinned sheepishly, “Alright, maybe you have a point.”

Other members of the crew agreed, “You’re forgetting we’ve had almost as much contact with E.Ts as you, sir. We can deal with some of the little stuff, so you don’t have to worry.”

The commander took a seat on one of the tables facing the crowd, “I just don’t want it to seem like I’m pawning all my work off on others.”

Another crewmember waved the comment off, “Give us some credit, we know you better than that. Besides everyone deserves a little downtime.”

“Yeah a little stress relief is good. Man you need to get some kind of hobby.” The marine who spoke leaned over towards his companion and quietly…. But not to quietly whispered, “Either that, or get laid.”

The comment hadn’t been quiet enough, and a row of marines broke into fits of giggling. Vir flushed bright red trying to ignore the comment, “Alright, first thing’s first, we need to have a meeting, decide how to divide things up. I’m thinking the marines, the bridge crew a -“ A glare from Krill silenced him, “Of course…. We can talk about that tomorrow….. you…. Are all dismissed.”

The crew shifted to their feet. A few of the marines walked past still laughing causing the blush to flare up again. The marine that had spoken shoved him lightly, “You’re such a boy scout, you know that right?” Vir grumbled as he moved past. The marine turned to walk backwards down the hallway, “Come on man, just saying great stress relief. Woman, dude…… alien if you’re into that.”

Vir raised his hands, “Ok, ok, stop, I get it.” More laughter as the marines walked away. He sighed, but was immediately accosted from behind. The floor fell out from under him, and suddenly his only view was blue armor, “F***, Sunny what the hell.”

She shifted him into a more comfortable position over her shoulder, “This is a hostage situation. You will not be released till you get at least eight hours of sleep, there are no other options.”

Vir sighed, “Guess I don’t have much say.”

“Nope.”

Stress is a human’s worst enemy, and it is our job to make sure our humans stay healthy.

[atrainernamedradish]

Top 10 Least Favorite Pokemon

You know what’s harder than making a top favorites list? A least favorite one. I was particular about this list because I wanted my own personal opinion on the matter instead of adding to the echo chamber that can be the fandom’s. I don’t hate these Pokemon. These are the ones I care for the least. Also, the placements kept changing for this list, but I feel like I finally put everyone on here in the right order now.

10) Whismur Line

The only reason this line is the Normal typing is because Game Freak hasn’t made the Sound typing official. Hell, Electric, or even Steel, would have made more sense. But nope we got these weird fleshy sound-based things that I’m never excited to see.

9) Greedent

I take back everything I said about Diggersby (still wished it didn’t have the belching model cry though), and I’m directing that towards Greedent. It looks like your typical fat, lazy, and not particularly bright cartoon character. Almost feel like they were a bit lazy in this design. Like… they could have done something more, or less since it’s large enough. I feel like Game Freak is trying to recreate a likeness to Snorlax, since it’s the poster child for obese Pokemon, but keeps falling short by giving us the ugliest designs. We don’t need more fat normal types. We’ve got plenty.

8) Electrode

Hey guys, let’s make this Pokeball based Pokemon flip upside down, make it less pissed off and call it an evolution! Also, it’s going to be crazy fast as well explode, most likely killing anything nearby, because why the fuck not? Boring and dangerous… what a match made in hell for a design!

7) Pheromosa

It’s an almost 7 foot tall sentient cockroach with legendary stats. Nope. Just nope. *flees*

6) Grimmsnarl Line

I have been disappointed with this evolutionary line since seeing the leaks of Impidimp. I know a lot of Faerie lore and it ticks me off that they chose a Goddamn Goblin for the first Dark/Fairy type. Also, and I know not all Faeries are cute and cuddly, but why does Game Freak keep trying to sneak in ugly Fairy types? About 95% of the Fairy typing has a cute or pleasing ascetic. That’s one of its themes, that and trying to throw pink on everything, so why give us this ugly line?

The only indicator of this thing remotely being Fairy typing at a glance is that it’s pink. I would have never gotten Fairy otherwise from it. Goblins might be in Faerie Tales, but they aren’t Faeries.

The only one in this line that remotely gives off the Dark typing to me is Morgrem. The other two not so much. Putting black on a Pokemon is maybe another indicator of the Dark typing, but even then it ain’t helping…?

Overall to me this thing is goofy to ugly looking with its design and typing a complete mess. It irritates me that our first combination of Fairy and Dark is this line…

Also, using it in a playthrough and it pisses me off that I’m not getting a Fairy move until it reaches its final evolution! That’s if I don’t want to grind up watt points in the Wild Area for a Fairy TR, or beat Opal before getting said evolution!

5) Shiinotic

Fairy typing makes sense for Morelull when you realize what it’s based on. Hell, even Ghost does. But Shiinotic? I don’t care if mushrooms are a big thing in Faerie Culture. You can’t just design some ugly ass alien mushroom hybrid then slap the Fairy typing on it because of mushrooms or lore from a pre evolution! While we’re at it let’s make the Amoongus and Breloom line Fairies too!

Morelull should have been a single stage line. It would have made sense. But no. They just wanted to make an ugly Fairy type just to prove they could say: “hey fandom I know you’re sick of all the cute and pink Fairy types so here’s an ugly one to change things up!”

And don’t get me *started* on that ugly ass shiny! Game Freak: bright yellow and muddy browns are a terrible color combination! Guess why?

4) Spinda

You know how I praised Alcremie for having multiple forms because of what it was and why it made sense for it? Well I have the opposite opinion regarding Spinda.

If I didn’t believe in the golden rule of everyone having a favorite of each Pokemon then I’d very much assume this thing wasn’t liked by anyone.

Everything about its design annoys me. Why is it a panda? And before anyone tries to tell me otherwise, it’s in its American/English name. Why is it in a constant state of vertigo? I literally was trying to think of a typing it would be better off as instead of the Normal typing and none come to mind. So it’s normal because a) it’s an animal or b) because they needed to give it a typing and no other typing fit.

And out of ALL the Pokemon why does this one have an almost endless possibility of “forms”? This thing has got to be a living dex collector’s worst nightmare!

3) Archeops

This Pokemon is on here for pure personal reasons. Technically there are a few other Pokemon that I feel the same towards, but this one was the worst about it.

You know you have a stupid powerful stat as a non-psuedo legendary and legendary when you need an ability to nerf you. What’s worse is when you need a pretty bulky Pokemon to soak up the damage you reap before said ability does nerf you.

It was always Goddamn terrifying to run into this Pokemon in White 2. Not only was a good chunk of my team weak to Flying, but my Samurott couldn’t take more than one hit from it. Not to mention it didn’t do enough super effective damage to OHKO this thing. So I was never happy to run into this thing because I would only get out of the fight with a lot of collateral damage to my party!

This wasn’t the only Pokemon that was this fucking difficult to deal with in Unova. There is definitely a power imbalance in these games which made playing them a pain in the ass. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Black 2 & White 2, but fuck me if this wasn’t my biggest issues with those games…

(Some of y'all are probably wondering about Slaking, and Slaking is actually easier to deal with thanks to its typing and ability readily triggering.)

2) Pelipper

This Pokemon was originally going to be my least favorite Water type on my favorite and least favorite typings lists, but I think its placement on this list suits it better.

I honestly don’t mind its pre-evolution Wingull. Wingull is kinda cute. Wonder Trade had me groaning every time I saw one, but that was more the player’s fault than anything.

Pelipper is just such a poorly designed Pokemon. Like, what were they thinking when they essentially fused the beak and stomach together? How can this thing carry its front heavy, well front? I assume it can handle all of that weight being airborne since I doubt it can get around any other way with its stubby little feet.

Then they gave it the Drizzle ability and suddenly people give a shit about its ugly ass…

The only time I’ve “willingly” used one was in my Wonderlocke, which was only due to the fact that I was in dire need of a water type, and I'll tell you that right now that I didn’t want to resort to using it. I’m pretty sure it died at the very end in the Champion battle… wasn’t all that sad to lose it if I’m being honest.

This isn’t just reserved for this Pokemon, but I absolutely hate the dual typing of Water/Flying. Nothing says “throw a rock at me” more than this typing combination. 

Overall I just don’t like anything about this Pokemon.

1) Greninja

This Pokemon used to be a lot lower on this list, but as I mentioned right before the list that the order changed as I was making it. I can promise you that this Pokemon isn’t on here because of how popular it is (there are others that would be on here if that was the case). There are many other reasons I will go over as to why this one is on the list.

The first is my experience using a basic one in XY. It’s learn set of moves is terrible, and that’s because it learns a lot of physical moves despite having a much better Special Attack. When I thought about the aspects of a ninja’s special attack being higher than physical it made much more sense. It had little to no options for Dark type moves with one of the best moves for it not being available till you’ve gotten the 8th badge for Waterfall. Greninja was the weakest member of my team with my Aromatisse putting in much more work than it! If Greninja is not competitively trained as well as has any of its hidden abilities then it’s not really that useful. I kept the one from that playthrough because I don’t have the heart to release it or get rid of it…

The second is its design. I very much don’t care for it (its tongue scarf is gross!). Its middle evolution looks so much better to me, and it made me sad evolving it into this ugly thing…

The third is its typing. I’ve had some time to think about it and I’ve wondered to myself: why is Greninja a Dark type? Thinking of the history, and to some extent the mythology of ninjas, nothing screams Dark type to me. I’m also taking into account of Dark being Evil in Japan, and nothing about ninja inherently screams Evil or Dark typing. Then I found myself thinking about its other typing in Water which brought me to the conclusion that the only reason Greninja is a Water type is for two reasons: 1) It’s a starter and 2) it’s a frog.

So you’re probably thinking by this point: “well Radish if you don’t like its typings then what would you change them to?” Unfortunately, I’d keep Water since it’s not the only Pokemon to have a typing based on the animal it is (looking at you Poliwag line!). Dark typing would be replaced with Ghost since ninjas in their lore and mythology can traverse and interact with the spiritual world.

I will address the elephant in the room for my closing thoughts on this Pokemon: Greninja and the fandom. I wholeheartedly believe that if Greninja didn’t have the hidden abilities that it did that it wouldn’t be as favored as it is among the fanbase. As someone who used a basic ability one in hopes of giving it a chance I was greatly disappointed, and didn’t understand why this Pokemon was so popular. That’s why I feel as though the competitive scene is where it has gotten all of its fame from. People give Charizard so much shit for being overrated but do they for Greninja? (Not a big fan of Charizard for those who wanna accuse me as such.)

[popculturebuffet]

The Loud House review 4x29: Brave the Last Dance

In a months late review of a show I watch only on occcasion that i’m doing for some reason: Clyde gets the help of the rest of the Clincoln true to find out if his crush likes him or not: Hyjinks and my smouldring hatred of rusty insues. 

With Ducktales only arriving once a week, me missing reviewing and having a lot of time on my hands i’ve decided to branch out a bit.. maybe not a ton, but ocasionally review other animated shows and seasons. If you have any suggetions or any paticular episode you’d like me to look into, let me know. 

For now I decided to take a look at a show I mostly watch whenever the mood strikes; The Loud House. I do enjoy the series, but it’s a casual love... it also dosen’t help that I can’t go into the tags without finding reams of incest but I digress. I do still like the show and despite it’s ocasoinal terrible episodes and even worse creator, it’s still a solid series and deserves it’s spot as nick’s crown jewel.. I do wish nick would stop abusing everything ELSE in it’s lineup, but that’s a whole other story. The point is I like the show, but i’m not a super fan like I am for say Ducktales or Steven Universe where if there’s something new, i’ll go out and grabs it immediately. But I do like it.  And I do regret not knowing this episode existed for two months because 1) This is a holiday episode and I like to watch those around their holiday and 2) Because dance episodes are my shit. More often than not if i’ts a dance episode of a show, i’ts usually pretty good. Community, Big City Greens, Gravity Falls, She Ra, OK KO, Parks and Recreation.. I really COULD go on indefntiely, but I won’t.  Dance episodes usually bring out the best in a creative team, have adorable romance moments, or huge dramatic attacks and everything in between that just makes them awesome to me. So naturally I watched this as soon as possible and my thoughts.. well as with anything they take some context.    You see this episode follows a character who has kind of a .. problematic history to say the least and thus has kinda gone up and down in my opinon. Early on, as most of you probably recall, the series was more focused on LIncoln, the middle child and only boy in the the titular loud house among 10 sisters. And given it focused mostly on lincoln and his shenanigans and schemes to deal with living iwth 10 other siblings. Now the show has evolved since then and for the better in my honest opinon: now all 11 siblings share the spotlight and whose in an episode depends on whose needed, and thus each of the siblings has their own supporting casts of varying depths and episodes, sometimes with NONE of the other family members playing a signifgiant role. But since the show was originally Lincoln centritc, it also picked up an extra main character outside of the 11 loud kids and their parents: Clyde. Clyde is Lincoln’s best buddy, a glasses wearing awkward kid whose dad’s sometimes smother him but are still loving kind guys, and who often goes over to Lincoln’s to share in the feeling of having siblings outside of his surrogate brother Lincoln obviously. However early on Clyde, like most of the cast in the earlier days, had about three character traits: being an only child, being a dork and having a near pyschotic crush on LIncoln’s oldest sister Lori which gave him crippling nose bleeds.  This would’ve been fine, if a touch annoying, had it just been him fainting and nosebleeding.. but instead, it also causes Clyde to be kind of a dick. He perused her constantly despite her rejecting him for a number of obvious reasons, you know him being a decade younger, her being not intrested, him being more like a second kid brother to her, and of course the fact she has a boyfriend, Bobby. Bobby is the nicest guy around, was a great supporting character, and is probably the reason i’ll get around to watching the casagrandes on occasion. Clyde however treats him like garbage, tried to break them up, and in general was a dick to a guy whose only crime is being in a loving relationship with someone Clyde wants to be with but obviously can’t have. It was annoying with the only time it was tolerable was that episode where Bobby was mistaken for cheating and clyde spent an entire episode preparing to beat bobby up if it was accurate, then upon trying (It wasn’t it was just shenanigans), failed spectacuarlly. Bobby is nothing but nice to him by the way.  So yeah it was hard to root for Clyde for a while but eventually it stopped.. not because they had an episode of Clyde TRYING to get over it, they did it just didn’t resolve it, but it was just dropped.. likely because the writers realized it just wasn’t that funny and with bobby put on a bus to the spinoff, they had no real jokes for it and no one really liked the passing out gag. The fact that series creator Chris Savino got fired for sexually harassment is not lost on me and only makes the gag worse.  But thankfully the character did bounce back and by season 3, even before savino was thankfully fired, they put the joke to bed with Bobby’s exit, and it is thankfully buried deeper than the bunker where htey keep walt disney’s cryogneically perserved body... what you thought he just kept the head? Why woudl they? Disney was rich and belived in the future. He probably wanted his body merged with some sort of mechanical man. But with that gone Clyde thankfully became what he was in his better episodes: an adorable dork, with two loving fathers. Though now he’s not the only kid on the block with two gay dads.. he and Violet should get matching friendship t-shirts reading “Gay dad club”... and i’ll probably draw that at some point but I digress i’m several paragraphs in and I haven’t even gotten to the episode, and I STILL have one last bit of explostion for context that most of you may not need.  That last bit is that LIncoln’s episodes evolved a bit around season 3: instead of JUST being him and Clyde, though that can still happen, Lincoln soon got a circle of buddies, each of whom plays a role in the episode, for reasons i’ll get to in a bit, and part of my reason for reviewing it is to touch on my thoughts about them and my weird love of these episodes. So a breif overview since some of you may not know who they are.  Lincoln himself: The former lead and now one of 10, and a great character I enjoy following a lot even if I miss his Zack Morris-esque fourth wall breaks, minus the smug... no one can out smug or out sexually harass Zack Morris.  Liam: A country boy and the only one of the intial five besides Clincoln I actually like. He’s a kind hearted well meaning country boy and is always kind and friendly, and reminds me a lot of stinky peterson but with a tone down accent.  Zach:... I forget he exists, i’m not even sure this is his actual name. He’s just.. there for some reason and i’m not exactly sure why he’s been kept around now that Stella, who i’ll get to next, has been introduced. But he has goggles and wild hair and that’s.. it. Any of his lines could be said by the others without muchc hange.  Stella: My faviorite out of the group, a frieindly girl who was insitally introduced as Lincoln’s third love intrest.. before pivoting to have her not really WANT to be with any of the guys in an episode that’s really good and instead joining the group. She has more personality and energy than most of them, and thus I do tend to seek out an ep if she’s in it. I do also kinda lowkey ship her with lincoln, but only al ittle. her episodde was about hwo every girl who pays attention to you isn’t into you after all and it’s a lesson kids need. I wish I had it when I was that age honestly. Anyways... finally we have the bane of my existance.  Rusty: I hate this kid. I can’t stand his goofy face, and I love goofy goof so goofy faces are not a problem, obnovious wannabe ladies man smugness, or his basicaly being the useless asshole of the group. LIke Zach, I don’t get why he hasn’t been written out. Hell Zach I at least get as the generic guy they can slott in. Rusty is just terrible. it’s telling that his LITTLE BROTHER, who showed up in one episode as a love intrest for Lucy, is far more popular.. mostly because Rocky’s actually likeable and isn’t a dipstick. I just hate this kid and want this character written off already. He’s the weak link in the group and is SOMEHOW more obnoxious than Clyde during any episode bobby and him were in the same room. And tha’ts an acomplishment! Gah. I could rant about this little shit all day, but i’d prefer to move on.  The episode has a pretty basic setup: Clyde is on the dance comitte, and is a good chef which .. tracks. I do think h’es cooked before and his love of Dessert Storm, a in-series cooking show that the Loud’s love too, has been documented in one or two episodes and cooking does fit his personality: he’s a detail orinted kid, he has parents who have lots of money to spend and have been established to like coooking fancy themsevles, it makes sense he’d pick it up. But it’s the Valentine’s Dance and Clyde has a crush on Emma, one of the girls on the comittee. His friends pick up on this and stellas has an adorable “awww” type grin while the boys all have smug shit eating grins but are all willing to help. It’s part of why I like these eps: the 5 really seem to have a nice rapport and be genuine friends.. friends who all fought over a girl once, except Stella who was said girl, but friends nonetheless, who eventually put said friendship over that. Even if one of them’s a block of wood and the other the bane of my existance, you still get the sense their valued.  It’s from there the episode Segues into the standard loud house formula, which is one of the resaons I do only watch the show ocasionally: while the episodes can varry wildly, some just fall into a formula of “character or characters do various things in a row until they realize they were wrong or something”. Now the show HAS had good episodes out of this formula, L is for Love and Racing Hearts, and yes i’m a saluna shipper but the eps are good beyond that, but sometimes it can feel like padding. This is one of those times. Each of the squad tries something to help Clyde find out if Emma likes him or not, he’s too nervous to take it as a sign he should go for it, rinse and repeat 3 more times before the plot finally moves on. This is also why I went into detail on the Clinclon Crew: each one, except Zach because the boy is made of paper mache remember, gets a chance to try helping him out.  Rusty: As if you needed proof I wasn’t overreacting, Rusty SPIES ON EMMA WITH BINOCULARS for the plan.. he did not need them, and the joke dosen’t land like it should because Rusty sucks. And his plan is to drench Clyde with cologne and if she comments on it, she likes him. I do however like the joke about how clyde thinks Rusty’s cousin that gave him the plan, proving Dumbass is a genetic trait, had a girlfriend at a camp who probably dosen’t exist.  Liam: Liam’s plan is a bit funnier... not because of the plan which like the previous one not really that great but hey their 11 or 12 i’ll give all of them but rusty some slack, because he sucks. But the Clincoln Crew which i’m calling them now so there, head to the movies and Liam says ,d ue to a similar thing happening with his chickens, if a girl sits next to you, they like you back. It’s not entirelys ound but the chicken thing got a small chuckle out of me and LIam does have some odd charisma.  Lincoln: And Zach but i’m not convinced they didn’t just swap in a manquin with a tape recorder jammed inside for him for this or any scene. Lincoln uses one of lori’s magazines with some sounder, if flimsy but beliviebly for kids, logic: ask her for a pen: if it’s a regular one they have no intrest, it’s it’s fancy she likes you. like the other two it happens.. but in a resonable bit of writing like the last two Clyde isn’t sure due to a combinaton of insecurity and these plans being as flimsy as the paper they made Zach out of .  Stella: Whose grandma can read tea leaves and actually predicted her moving to royal woods, because stella is great. Stella is also damn good at it as she does predict Clyde at the dance, in a chef’s hat for reasons that i’ll get to in a moment. dancing with a girl. Tha’s lal he needs and this bit finally ends. As I said it’s the tedium. While what happens NEXT is intresting enough, you really didn’t need all of those or have enough jokes and were clearly padding guys, come on.  So Clyde, and crew, stages an elaborate frencha nd boat related danceposal.. that fails. As you probably figured. Emma is flattered, but shoots Clyde down gently. Clyde reacts as you’d expect: by fleeing the scnee as fast as possible, quitting the dance comitte off screen, and planning never to return, which while overracting, DOES feel realistic.  Clyde goes home for some mopey solo time and becomes a tad insufferable, ignoring his friend’’s texts and getting upset as his dad for watching the movie that clearly inpsiried his dance invite plan, depsite it being their valentine’s day he’s interrupting. It woudl’ve played better if he still got upset but iddn’t you know, run in front of their tv and call them out on something they coudln’t of known as he didn’t give them details.  Thankfully the mild annoyance is b roken when, after ignoring his friends texts, which granted for Rusty and Liam is probably normal as liam probably talks about drywall and Rusty uses the word dawg and unlike Lincoln dosen’t seem genuinely worried after Clyde, you know, got rejected in front of a large crowd.  He’s broken out of his mopey solo time by a call: the person he passed cake duty off to screwed up, and after some urging from Cheryl, the principal’s secretary who Clyde knows personally from past episodes and is head of the dance comitte and an utter delight this episode, Clyde does what any normal kid would do: dawn a flimsy disguise and sneak in there. We also get a cameo from Girl Jordan who hasn’t shown up in forever so that’s nice.  Clyde fixes the cake, and Cheryl compares his mustache to a dead caterpillar which was gold, and tries to sneak out only for Chole, another girl, to notice him and stop him. You can probably tell where this is going: She , rather than mock him finds what he did romantic, she also likes dessert storm, he asks her to dance, puts his chef hat back on because time loop,a nd the two dance and even have an adorable bit where they throw their hats to each other. Also Rusty is dressed like cupid and my eyes boil out of my head as the episode ends.  Overall it’s not a bad ep. Had a suprising amount to say about it, but overall it’s a decent, cute ep for valentine’s day with a nice amount of friendship and some nice character stuff for Clyde and plenty of gay dad’s and Cheryl. Overall not a bad way to spend 11 minutes in this ongoing apocalypse. Coming Soon: I feel like quacking so I think Iw ill.. take a look at an episode of quack pack that’s donsy related.  Until next time courage. 

[darklingichor]

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell *Major Spoilers*

I wrote a little about this book last month, but I want to write more. This is one of those books that has been lingering in my brain so what follows will be long and rambling.

Now, I haven't read Fangirl I've been pulled more toward action adventure and humor in my fiction, for a while now. Hmm, I wonder what could have happened a few years back  that would cause a Pacific Northwest liberal to feel the need for escape? Just one of those things, I suppose.

I need to read it, if only because I wrote Harry Potter fanfic for years and sort of lost myself in it right after high school.

Anyway.

I've heard people calling Carry On an HP knock off. I don't get this. Simon Snow is obviously Fangirl's Harry Potter. That makes Carry On more of a tongue in cheek homage to HP and stories like it as well as something of a love letter to fanfic writers.

A lot of the main characters start out as your standard for this type of story. "The Hero", "The Mentor", "The Damsel", "The Enemy", "The Unspeakable Evil."

Through the book it becomes clear that our hero is well meaning but ill-suited for the role that his mentor thinks he place him in. The mentor is shown to be unhinged. The damsel is sick of screaming and doesn't want to be in the story at all. The enemy is love sick for the hero and dealing with the puberty from hell. The unspeakable evil, isn't. Its just an unforeseen byproduct of the mentor's plan, in which, the hero, is a pawn.

The book plays with archetypes and I read some of them as being fairly meta about their expected place in the story.

Agetha, especially, seems to know her role and resent it. She's who is saved by the hero, whether she likes it or not.

Baz is so certain of his role as "The Enemy" that until his role flips, he's sure his destiny is to be killed by the person he's in love with.

Simon knows his role so well, he's on auto pilot as a defence mechanism. He's either going to die, or he'll get a stock Happily Ever After. He doesn't even allow himself to think too much about what really matters to him, because he knows his life isn't really his.

I would have loved this book because of everything I wrote above, but add to it the nods to fan contribution? It was enough to make me remember my old ff.n login!

I don't know if Rainbow Rowell researched fan fiction but I figure she must have.

I mean, the things I saw played with and reshaped in Carry On, are fanfic tropes. Rowell took things that grew out of fans having fun with their favorite characters and made them canon.

Main character going out with an exchange student, pop culture references, evil good guy, and:

Four words: Draco is a vampire.

Sure, not every fic that used these were the best, but so what? Many were sincere.

What better way to go to Hogwarts as a person raised outside the UK than to live though an OC in an exchange program?

It was weird that no one in the wizard world listened to muggle music, watched movies or TV. Even the muggleborns? I'm sorry, but I was in the same age range as the characters. In fact, if Harry were real, he would be three years older than me. You can't convince me that there were not at least a couple of muggleborns who were  sending an owl a week to remind their parents to tape Friends or My So-Called Life.

There were a fair few stories where Dumbledore or even Harry turned out to be evil. Even before we found out Dumbledore wasn't a saint. It can be fun to play with expectations and Dumbledore was too perfect for too long.

The vampire thing? I mean, why not? Either Draco or Snape. It fits enough for a fic, and you can get some fun stuff out of it. Besides Hogwarts allowed a warewolf, why not a vampire?

The point is, this book reminds me of some goofy fics I read but also reminds me of some that I sometimes have to remind myself aren't canon, because fan fiction can be amazing.

Example: It has been years but I still remember a great fic that someone wrote about Uric The Oddball's years at Hogwarts. I don't remember much about it off hand but I do know that if I re-read HP, when Uric is mentioned, I think of this story like it is something that is actually in the history of the series. (Dude, I googled "Uric the Oddball fan fiction" on a whim. Popped right up: Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte. Guess I shouldn't be surprised! Maybe I should read it again to see if it's still as good as I remember).

So yeah, Carry On is so not an HP knock off and has a number of things that I think make me like it more.

The first one is diversity. It is very nice to have it explicitly said in the text that characters are of different ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities. Watford is a far better representation of a population than Hogwarts is, outside of fanfic (It wasn't there, people wrote it in).

Then there is magic itself, it comes from somewhere it's in the environment, it has to do with celestial alignment, people give words power to channel that energy.

That brings me to something that made me adore the world building here.

The actuality of Simon Snow's universe is that Mages cannot exist independently without the Normals. Without the Normals giving weight and meaning to turns of phrase, rhyme and songs, the Mages couldn't do what they do. Add to that, this means that magic is ever evolving and the Mages must learn about and be a part of, to some extent, the Normal world. This makes Mages who look down on Normals seem even more ridiculous.

I also think this book handled romance better than Harry Potter. I don't know what it was but the relationships seemed awkward and strained in HP. Maybe it was because most of it was shoved into one book, like Hogwarts's water supply was spiked with hormones? I don't know.

What I do know is that even though Simon and Agetha are going through the motions of being together in this book, they still feel like two people who have been dating for a long time.

We don't get a lot about Penny and her boyfriend, but the way she is described talking about him reminds me of how my best friend would talk about her boyfriends when she was visiting me. The way she would go on, you'd think that he was on the moon instead of 90 miles away. I bought that Penny and her boyfriend enjoy each other's company.

And the biggie. Simon and Baz

I almost didn't read this book for two reasons. First: Vampire main character. I love vampires, but I lived through the deluge of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, not to mention that every other book seemed to be about vampires. Even though I didn't watch or read all of them, I just got vampired out.

Second: I have never been one for the whole "enemies to love interest" thing. The Harry/Draco pairing never spoke to me.  Not that I never read fics that managed that ship well, it was just not my favorite, probably because I just never liked Draco.  I tend to prefer romances that are built on friendship (Remus and Sirius dated each other at some point, and nothing can convince me otherwise).

All that being said, I like the Simon/Baz pairing.

I like that Baz freely admits to the reader that a lot of his tormenting of Simon is pigtail pulling.

I like that Simon is more or less: "I like a guy? A guy who was my nemisis? That's new, let's go for it."

There's none of that "Hate turns to love" shit that I personally can't stand.  None of the "I am evil, yet his light draws me" or "His darkness is so seductive"

Baz isn't a villain needing to rethink his position. He's a slightly snobby guy with a lot of family pressure, who is in love with a dude who has been set up as opposition, by the adults in his life.

Simon isn't a good guy wanting to be bad. He's a guy who is following the path set out for him without giving context to his feelings with thought, because he doesn't think. So, when Baz doesn't show up at the first of the year, Simon knows 3 things for sure:

Baz is his enemy

His enemy is not there

He feels very uneasy about it.

Why?

See numbers 1 & 2

This equals out to "plotting" in Simon's mind because that's what enemies do.

It doesn't dawn on him that he was actually missing Baz and that he has romantic feelings for him until later

I also like the interaction between them. Again, I buy that they like each other. The simpler moments, like sharing food, or being flirty. It also makes sense that Baz is so nervous and guarded about the relationship. It fits that they would bicker and argue while trying to figure every thing out.

The relationships feel authentic.

In fact all of the relationships between  the characters feel authentic.  The sibling relationships between Ebb and Nicky, I know siblings that close. The interaction between Baz and his little sister, I know people like them too. The Friendships; in my opinion, too few friends in fiction are depicted messing with each other or being lovingly annoyed by each other.

I've known my two best friends most of my life. Not a day goes by where one of us doesn't say something that if it was said by anyone else, it would lead to a fight. Said by us, it's funny, or at least something we can't argue with.

So I related when Baz's friend complained that he had wasted his childhood hating Simon now that Simon and Baz were no longer enemies and Baz said: "What else were you going to do with your childhood?"

I spent my 20's with my friends seemingly taking turns crashing at my apartment. I spent most of my time ossulating between wishing they would go home and being glad they were there.

So at the beginning of the book, when Penny won't leave Simon's room? I saw myself in the way Simon felt about it.

That authentic and relatable quality was what I really liked about the quiet - if not Happily Ever After - then the Attempting Normal For Now ending each character got.

Well, as normal as you can get with a story involving  mages, vampires and powerful Elton John songs.

I am a dodecahedron of geekdom, btw and the classic rock side jumped up and down clapping hands at all of the music references (and giggled when Carry On was fallowed by Wayward Son which will be followed by Anyway The Wind Blows). 

And now we come to the reason I have not read the sequel even though it is sitting in a bag with the rest of this year's Powell's haul.

From what I have read, Wayward Son is, at least in part, about what happens after Happily Ever After and ends on a cliffhanger. 

After Happily Ever After with a cliffhanger and no release date... Yeah, that will drive me crazy. I haven't even read the second book and I'm already thinking about the third. Aw man! Who dies? Who breaks up? Who becomes evil?

So, even though road trip stories are right up there with time travel stories as one of my favorites, even though I love the idea of showing a character battling depression, even though I love these characters, period; Wayward Son will stay unread until I run out of new books to read, or the next book's release date is close. Whichever comes first, because I want to think of the characters in their quiet ending ending for a little while.

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Sumbission

Thanks for replying to my submission.  Funny thing, you took so long to do it that I thought you got sick of the topic and deleted it lol.  Which is cool.  If you’re tired of talking about it, feel free to delete this too.

Since you did reply though, I just want to reply to a few things.  I agree with Peggy that I don’t believe the writers hated Mon El for two years.  The Kreisberg excuse has no bearing on what happened to him.  Look, here’s an example: after the Harvey Weinstein debacle, do you think the writers/producers of his projects took their hate of him out onto his projects?  Why would they?  It makes no sense.

So why such a difference between s2 Mon El and s3 Mon El?  It’s not because they hated him, it’s because they’re shitty writers who got painted into a corner because of the Mon El hate and let it negatively affect what they did with him in s3,hence making a total fucking mess.  s2 Mon El wasn’t written like anyone hated him, he was spoiled but also funny, goofy and genuinely loving and along the way he evolved into a wannabe hero who fell in love and Kara fell back in love with him too.  What part of that seems like he written from writers who hated him?  Not only that, but you can’t blame it on Kreisberg being there either, he was a producer, not the writers, he didn’t write the scripts so you can’t say Kreisberg is why s2 Mon El was written like that.  I doubt Kreisberg stood over the writers and pointed a gun to their heads saying to write Mon El in that way or else.  The far more logical explanation to me is the writers wrote him that way because they planned to make him a hero and eventual endgame for Kara.  

So why s3 Mon El and the total pile of shit with the way he was written then?  Because not only did scs make their lives hell with the constant barraging of complaining, nastiness and hate, but they also got hate from Sanvers shippers and the moron “feminists” who screamed bloody murder at Kara getting ANY love interest, saying it made her weak, an anti-feminist, and all that BS.  A smart group of writers would’ve just rolled their eyes and kept on with their original plan [to make Mon El a hero and karamel endgame] and muted the bullies or better yet blocked them but these idiots writers literally believed with all the immensely vocal morons screaming over and over that that’s what all the fans wanted.  They tried to rehabilitate Mon El to placate the moron/bully trifecta - they fucked it up not because they hated Mon El but because they got painted into a corner and so came out their weak, shitty writing, not realizing instead of making Mon El look better to the bullies, they were actually making him look worse - and all they did was piss off karamel/Mon El fans but I can assure you that wasn’t their intention.  They didn’t realize the real hate of Mon El was ship-related and they thought the turgid mess that was s3 would make Mon El acceptable to the bullies, which of course it wasn’t acceptable to anyone.  In the end, who knows what happened?  Maybe they gave up and decided it wasn’t worth it to deal with the psychos and just wrote him off BADLY.  Or maybe Chris had had enough, decided to go.  Insert your favorite conspiracy theory here, Area 51 peeps need not apply.

Anyway, one last thing for people who think fans have no say in how a show is run, trust me, they’ve always had a say even back in the days when there was no social media.  Some writers listen more to fans than others but these days, everyone monitors the fan reactions on social media with every show.  There have been many shows who’ve basically kept characters around they never meant to JUST because they’re so popular with fans.  The actor playing the youngest kid from One Day at a Time basically took over all the storylines.  Steve Urkel in Family Matters was meant to be a one-time guest star, and he basically became THE star of the show.  When the writers realized Will on Alias was getting so much hate, they admitted in an interview they retooled the entire character because of it.  I remember the funniest comment of that era coming from an online fan who posted a huge rant about him online and ended it with the line that everyone quoted for a while “And BUY THE BOY A HAIRBRUSH!” (they were complaining about his hair).  But I digress.  And of course Felicity Smoak was never meant to be Oliver’s love interest either till she developed a fan following, I’m pretty sure Laurel Lance was supposed to be his initial endgame.  Point being, I don’t think Mon El was gotten rid of because of nothing but fan hate.  But I definitely do think it was a huge factor in how they ended up writing him in s3 and it’s also why they’ve gotten to the point where they’re afraid to even breathe a word of him now.  Anytime they do, the hyenas go batshit crazy.  And we all know how afraid of the hyenas they are, hence also why SG has become the Luthor hour now.  

Thanks again for putting up with another submission from me.   :)

**************************************************************************************

Yeah, sorry. As I said I’m on fence with this topic. One day I think that, the next this blah blah.

I guess I didn’t make myself clear. I don’t think they hated him because of AK, I think they just didn’t like his character as a whole, a frat boy from Daxam, LI for Kara instead of James etc. But the whole AK drama helped them. There was something about that they could not use AK’s ideas after they kicked him out. I have heard Legion was his baby (while Reign was Queller’s) and they had to changed things. And comparing Legion 3B storyline with 3A storyline – it makes absolutely no sense, there are missing parts, ignored things and simply dumb things – I think, personally, there is some germ of truth in it. Also, well AK was a face of Arrowverse and I don’t think he had at that time other projects. And he is not Weinstein (fuck him very much) league.

Well, they couldn’t have written him differently in s2, because they were supervised. Also, writers can’t openly write their characters like they hate them, because it’s not professional. No writer can admit that, it’s like a say sayonara to your career. We can talk about Dark Angel and Supernatural and about writers who hated characters. Small things. Like writing a dialogue about microagression that haters can twist. Also, you want to tell me executive producers just allow the writers to write anything they want? Plus, I need to check how many writers were changed between s 2 and 3 to have some, hmm, clearer picture.

And I think we didn’t understand each other. I don’t think s2 Mon-El was a problem or that he was written like writers didn’t like him. Problem started in s3. After AK left and Queller and Rowner got more power.

In s2 yes, but in s3 he was written as an end game bait. Imo.

The hate probably was the factor, but just one of many. The same goes for my “writers hated him and karamels”. I don’t think it was the only one possibility (did I sound like that earlier? Sorry).

We all know what fucking FANSERVICE is. It basically killed Teen Wolf and sooo many other shows. When writers and producers become fan’s bitches, you know show is going to drown in shit :’)

But you know, there is fanservice when people demand something JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT SOMETHING, and there is change in plan when something simply doesn’t work. There is fine line between fanservice and throwing away not working plan.

(They were hating on poor Will? Thank god I was not in the fandoms back then xD)

Anyway, all we do here is speculating. Basically I agree with you, just with different proportions. And we won’t know the truth. Maybe in 20 years when some of the writers will write autobiography :P

Thanks for the submission :D

[pokenerdart]

I'm tired of Nintendo

I had enough for the last pokemon games and I'm so fucking angry that I bought a switch for this game that I might just not buy it. You know what ? Fuck you Nintendo. Having to pay for everything on a pokemon game is shitty and you're just looking for money. And you just won't admit it.

Before, we could transfer pokemons to a game of the next generation just by finishing the game. Easy. They kept that up until the 5th gen and after that, because ( I quote ) "tHerE Is NO PosSibLE WaY tO TranSFeR PokEmOns frOm Ds To tHe 3dS"

Okay, fine, whatever. So you have to pay to get your parteners through the new games x and y. But sorry, that excuse ISN'T VALID ANYMORE for the 7th gen. If the problem was to pass to the 3DS it's not the case anymore, so already fucked up on that point. But still, with wondertrade and GTS we had a way to get our favourite pokemons.

Now, we have so much bullshit that I can't even be more furious.

The console was super SUPER expensive compared to the other portable consoles from Nintendo ? Ok. I managed to work a hell lot to get enough money to finally buy it. No, not all the parents can afford something like that and especially not the children themselves BUT pokemon is a game mainly made for young people. That's already super dumb but I got through it. It was x1,5 the price of a 3DS when it came out, I mean COME ON.

The games are 20$, which is ALSO x1,5 the last generation's price. And it's a LOT. Pokemon let's go wasn't even that good already, seriously. It was made for pokemon go players, hadn't the same feeling for catching pokemons AT ALL ( you have to catch a lot rather than just catching your own team and that's all, and it's the same for shinies. I don't want to catch 30 vulpix ?! ) and it was more of a pokemon game to scam people who liked go. I refused that my dad bought it just because of that. Also, fuck all this gen 1 propaganda. GenOners are sometimes really annoying but Nintendo keeps encouraging them like hello ?? Other gen exists too ?? We have like a whole crowd of people waiting for a DP remake and that's the 2nd remake of this gen ! Not counting pokemon go that only featured the 1st gen when it was popular.

Pokemons from the 1st generation have a pretty easy to reproduce design and that's why they made pokemon let's go. Between Rayquaza and Mewtwo, guess who's the easiest to make ?

That's why I also HATE the idea of the galar dex. Cuz you know what ? Pokemon will be deleted. And I bet my fucking phone that there will be more gen one than any other gen because it's the favourite. And also, say goodbye to gen 5. The fandom clearly didn't like that gen and pokemons from it will suffer from the galar dex. It was great but since, you know, you couldn't use pokemons from other gens ( like in let's go btw ) people hated it and said everything from it was trash ?? Like oh no, a goofy ice cream with a funny face ! Pokemons weren't trash in my time when I had a purple jelly pokemon that evolved into a bigger purple jelly pokemon. They were creative. So yeah, some gens will suffer more than others

After that we have the lack of animations. I mean COME ON.

"Animation is hard". I make animations, mostly on 2D yes but I studied 3D models. Once you created it you can make animations pretty fast because you just have to move the body, not to redraw anything. That's why there are so many 3D models animations on YouTube made by beginners, once you mastered it you can do pretty much anything.

"It's good for strategy" Well ... Yes and No actually. I studied a bit strategy and the fact that they deleted some pokemons is a good thing for it but not for us, normal players. The fact that they removed animations from pokemon attacking is just ripping us off the battle, they had better animations in gen 4, come on. And the fact that the attacks must be fast for strategy is because official battles now last 20 minutes instead of one hour which is ... Stupid ?? They used this as an argument for a wall they created ???

"creating models is hard". Yes it is. BUT THEY'RE USING GEN 6-7 MODELS. Well, at least they had to redo them but it's just copying and pasting like wtf ??? The animations are the same. Models are just redone. It's basically like tracing someone's art. Yeah it takes time. But you still have a base, it takes a lot less time than the original one and when you're done I don't think you should show it as "extremely hard work". But you know what actually ? THEY DID OTHER MODELS FOR DYNAMAXED POKEMONS. Yes, they used that "precious time you know it's hard and blahblahblah" to have to do TWICE the exact same ponemons. I'm not talking about gigantamax huh, normal dynamax pokemon. So they're whining about the time but did everything twice. Wonderful.

"animating takes time" again you're talking to an artist and an animator. So before you try to give your "knowledge" because you read an article on BuzzFeed, go and try to do it yourself and then we can talk. I'm not saying that I know everything and that I'm a genius or anything but sometimes trying is easier to understand. Are we good ? Alright. I'm used to get hate comments all the time when I talk shit about this and most of the persons telling me wrong hadn't even tried to draw Pikachu before. Now, I just want to ask you, have you ever thought about the time needed for a pokemon game ? Yeah it takes a lot of time, about a few years. But think of it this way : we got the first trailer of the game 3-4 months ago ? Not sure anymore. But the game will be released the same year the first trailer went out and I'm pretty sure it was the same last year with Eevee and Pikachu. I'll take another exemple from the switch : Zelda botw. That game is a masterpiece. First trailer, 2011. Release date, 2017. Do you know what I mean by that ? TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME. Stop rushing like idiots we won't die if we don't have a pokemon game per year !!

One last thing : the online subscription. You know that you pay WiFi every month ? Now you gotta pay it again for it to work. I get it, maybe people won't use it and all but COME ON. You deleted the 4th and 5th gen GTS. You deleted the dream world. And you're afraid that your online thingy will be not used enough to make money so you make us pay even more ?? Duck you.

Pokémon is the 2nd most money-making licence that ever existed. They stopped making series because they wasn't worth it in terms of money, like pokemon rangers. You're just some lazy People that wants money more and more. And I don't think I can accept that.

[firebirdsdaughter]

When you wish you were asleep…

… Watch raws! XD

Actually, I still kind of wish I was asleep. Maybe I’ll grab a nap after this. (-_-)

But on to my children!

In no order and w/ many typos:

Okay, look. Wyzul’s not ‘weak,’ he’s just meant to have essentially the opposite style of Tankjoh. He’s a ‘planner.’ The manipulative, cunning ‘evil genius type.’ Doesn’t mean anyone has to like him, or think he’s a good villain—hell, I promise you I already miss Tankjoh, too—but he’s not ‘weak.’ He just has a different style. His plan this week was actually rather clever.

Sorry. Wanted to get that off my chest. I miss Tankjoh, too, but I actually like that they followed him w/ a general w/ an opposite style, that the one time Tankjoh kind of tried it, it got him killed (the plan w/ the Cerberus Minusaur).

XD TOUWA. Oh, honey. Who put you in the back? ^^

Knowing the twist makes this whole thing all the more hilarious, somehow.

Though this plan was actually rather clever! If Cardena hadn’t had a few slips in her words… Though admittedly, she was so clearly anxious about it that Banba and/or Melto might have caught onto something anyway, but… It was close.

Banba’s become naturally suspicious, so he may have doubted them anyway, but… It could’ve worked.

Poor Touwa’s so short. And even Banba is kinda hiding in the back there! XD

Other facts about Banba: Google Earth, always taking pics.

Ah, yes, we’re sneaking in. Let us yell, loudly! XD Ah, Toku…

Odd place to keep things, honestly…

There’s something incredibly goofy about the fact that this confrontation is taking place in a cramped stairwell…

They forgot the little men for Banba and Touwa’s transformations. XD

Everyone else is in the middle of fighting a Drunn. Banba has alreday freaking killed his. ><

I think Touwa just asked Wyzul to repeat himself bc they didn’t catch it the first time. And Asuna just figured it out? Uncertain.

Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. I guess it’s Pink??? But she looks purple???

Curse my inability to put an image in the middle of a bulleted list! Curse my attachment to bullet points! DX

I’ll put it at the bottom?

Touwa here, stealing the monster’s lines. XD

Rip unnamed Drunn.

I’m confused as to whether Cardena was trying to tip them off, or just conflicted and getting anxious. Most likely the latter, as she didn’t seem to understand they’d figured it out later.

My watching experience is foiled once more by how INCURABLY BEAUTIFUL TATSUYA IS! DX

Now she’s getting the hairy eyeball from both big brother/dad and mom. XD Deception check failed.

Is that a thing?

They are dunking on this man so hard. I mean, he doesn’t seem to mind, but…

I really hope that smirk really was just Tatsuya and wasn’t planned. I like how they had trouble getting the ‘towel scene’ (a line ad libbed by Simon Pegg) bc Zachary Quinto kept laughing, so they just went w/ a scene where he jus barely smirks and they cut away real fast. This is smaller, scale, of course, it’s very low key and I only noticed it bc I am almost always watching Banba in any given scene, but it’s funny to think it was unscripted.

Aw, I thought Dad was an alright singer. Also, love Ui’s face here. ^^ And she tries to comfort him, such a sweetheart.

Aw, Touwa also looks like he’s finding it cute, too. ^^ I’m still thinking of Touwa and Ui as the ‘babies’ of the fam. Resident youngest sibs. :)

Nah, Banba doesn’t trust this situation enough to start stabbing people, don’t worry, Kou.

Pretty sure he’s just looking for an excuse to leave, actually.

Melto takes the opportunity to go full mom friend.

Banba’s like ‘so one of you was paying attention.’

There’s never any indication here if Touwa figured it out, too. I’m inclined to think he didn’t? But I don’t know.

Why must Tatsuya persist in being so attractive??? DX

Okay, guess it’s confirmed they can call Ui from the braces. … How. Did they program her number into them? Is there some frequency that they tapped her phone into?

Also, largely unrelated, but Ui is really pretty. She really is. She makes goofy faces sometimes, but this actress is really beautiful. I’m love her. ^^

She’s jack awful at lying, though.

Though it is justified that no one caught on, here. How would Wyzul know how modern human technology works? And Cardena’s an alien. And neither of them know Ui very well. She could be like this all the time for all they know.

But also… Did Melto text her? How did she know to leave her phone?

I say Cardena didn’t catch on bc she doesn’t seem to have realised that they knew later.

Tall Cheese seems to be having a good time hamming it up, and that is valid of her.

Really, though. There’s no way they would have actually released Tall Cheese, if this had worked. That’s not Short Cheese’s fault, she didn’t have many options, but I highly doubt Wyzul intended to honour any sort of deal.

I realise I shamefully remembered Short Cheese’s name in the rest of this post. Whoops. I’d go back and fix it, but now it’s funny… ^^;

Oh, yeah. And this explains why Tall Cheese was looking so evil in those photos.

So… Was Wyzul actually just sitting chained up in the park the whole time?

But also… Wyzul is a shapeshifter. Toei, would you mind…? >:)

Synchronised staring at Kou. XD

Oh, yeah. Moment of appreciation for Tatsuya sitting on the bloody playground equipment like a freaking model.

Banba going for a low blow, there. But he has a point.

And… Kou hits a button. We’ve only really seen Banba be this angry when yelling at Crayon the Mushroom Man about curing Touwa, I think… Makes me wonder if the betrayal he suffered happened in a situation like this? He took a risk for someone in a similar fashion, but it turned out they were lying and stabbed him in the back? Like, loosely similar, maybe. Like… Kou’s reaction clearly hits a nerve.

GAH! Toei, give me more to go on! DX

He backs down, though. Either bc he’s still soft for sibling relationships and can’t help it, or he’s getting soft about Kou—or both. This makes me think even more that he’s never killed anyone before. For all his apparent willingness to do so, in the end he can’t got through w/ sacrificing someone like that.

Esp not when considering it while staring into Kou’s sad puppy eyes.

As Touwa mysteriously vanishes from the shot, despite being exceedingly close by a moment ago.

Though… Banba seeing the fact that Kou et al. being willing to sacrifice what’s important to them for what’s important to others… And seeming kinda effected by that… Is kinda fuel for my ‘he ends up trying to protect their innocence/kindness’ idea? In, like… A ‘I’m the expendable one’ kinda way? Not exactly, but… Augh, explaining is hard. I’m sure I’ll think of one later. DX

Like… Could lead to a moment later where he tries to sacrifice himself/something so that they don’t have to? Or forcibly decides to be the sacrifice for something.

Oh, boy, that sounded weird.

Tyramigo is adorable, and will be the death of me.

Tyramigo be like ‘Is this the bomb I’m meant to eat?’ Then checks w/ Kou just to be sure. ‘Eat the bomb? Okay, eat the bomb!’

Him going ‘aaaaaaaah’ like a little baby, he’s so cute. DX

And how it awkwardly cuts out when she says ‘don’t.’ XD

HOW DID SHE NOT CATCH ON? Either her lysing skill improved significantly, or she completely misunderstood Kou’s nod here.

HOW DID HE SWALLOW HE HAS NO THROAT. O_o

They are dunking this poor man so hard… But, like, he’s listed as a special guest star, so I guess he doesn’t mind, and he seems happy, but… XD

Banba in the back: Google Earth, always taking pics.

Actually, that’s him at any given moment, really.

So… Were those copies of them, too?

Kou, you do not get to call people ‘baka.’ You are the baka!

I don’t actually know what he said. Could have been a different word.

Where were they hiding? Did they hang off the edge of the roof? Stairwell?

Banba not only refuses to smile, he sighs like he’s only there under duress.

He maintains his carefully practiced grumpy face for the whole scene, too. XD

Aw, I think Touwa just said ‘we barely did anything.’ Honey, I watched the flashback, you were the other person making copies.

Synchronised brother head tilt. Seriously, they’re at exactly the same angle. Ah, family. XD

Touwa loves it, Banba is required by contract to keep glaring.

His little awkward looking at the ground after, like ‘shit they’re cute’ what do I do??’… ^^ XD <3

They did do great, though. Plus he knew they’d never leave him alone if he didn’t do something there. XD But he is getting fond of them. Will probably be in denial until something happens and then have a freak out. Maybe it won’t even be that big, maybe it will just be Gold shows up and he finds himself getting protective. But I like big. ^^

Oh, please let Gaisoulg be who I hope it it… >.<

Aaaah! They’re so pretty! DX

So… Is it still a Minusaur if it didn’t come from a human?

What’s this? Minusaur is evolving!

Wait… So so they all turn into dragons when they complete????

I guess they didn’t tell her how Minusaurs actually work.

MAH BABIES!

How did we get down on the ground? Who knows. Toku.

The others go w/ proper combat Souls. Touwa and Kou use the balloon Soul and the shiny Soul. At least one of those kinda makes sense.

Aw, she’s self conscious. ^^

What I think I love most is that she’s clearly putting conscious effort into being out of tune. Which she can do bc the actress actually knows how to sing. XD

Asuna playing the drums is SO CUTE. I’M GONNA DIE.

I love how Melto explaining implied the brothers asked.

And the fact that you can just hear her in the background through the whole scene.

I realise it was Wyzul impersonating her, but it seems like something he might pick up from the real her to make it more believable. Plus Short Cheese had a a name for it, making it more likely.

Gods love her, she’s putting so much effort into it.

Banba briefly checking on Touwa when he rejoins them. ^^ I love this family.

Short Cheese thanks everyone, and the kids smile, but Banba gets embarrassed. XD

Oh dear. Wyzul knows we’re in a TV show…

Ui playing the demanding voice instructor is ADORABLE. XD

Kou and Melto in the corner imitating Banba. XD

Next week, looks like Melto is piloting Kishiryu Oh alone, Biker Dad returns (as an illusion), and the kids get stuck in Wonderland when Banba turns his back on them for five minutes.

I’m kidding, I don’t actually know if his subplot is at all related to Wonderland. All it says is that he’s dealing w/ an ‘antiques dealer.’ I have this wild theory that what the summary means is that ‘Wonderland’ is inside a box (the chest that’s referenced in the title and is the goal of the ‘attraction’), and then Banba also ends up chasing it around. Alternatively, he could just end up in a situation where he’s wandering around like ‘have you seen five brightly dressed dork children? I left them right here, but I looked away for one minute and they all disappeared.’ Or he doesn’t know at all. The magazine did say something about him doing things alone… Maybe he’ll get himself into trouble and they’ll have to come save him in episode 10. I mean, we know he’s gonna get a plot about not doing everything himself eventually.

I’ll leave everyone w/ this thought: the shapeshifting Druidon general now knows where the Tatsuis live.

That’s all, folks! Virtual rock candy for anyone who read all that. Excited for next week. I hope we get episode summaries for the next few eps, soon, as that might give me more of an idea as to whether I was actually right. I like the idea of Banba chasing a box that may or may not have his younger siblings in it around the city and drama that could ensue. But they could go other ways w/ this subplot. Like… Maybe the antiques dealer is the hooded person? Or Banba is trying to investigate the hooded person? Or it’s Gaisoulg (please be who I want you to be, Gaisoulg!)? Or an early cameo of Gold? Or a Druidon? Or a completely inconsequential side character. Who knows.

Oh, yeah! Purple chibi!

Though… I guess it’s Pink? It… It looks purple, though… Wait. Could it be… Magenta?

[jinjojess]

Oh, All-knowing Jess, hear my call and drive away my doubts: how was received in Japan the datamining of the beta of Pokémon Gold? What do you think about it? Are some Pokémon you like or want in actual games? (Personally, my favourite is that creepy Pinsir, for some reasons it reminds me of the Kaonashi from Spirited Away!)

You know, that’s a good question. I’ve seen some fanart and reactions on Twitter, but I didn’t really follow it much, sorry!

To make it up to you, I will now review all of the betas:

Chikorita! 

Yay! I think I’ve made it very clear that I am a big fan of this little plant nugget, so I don’t have much to add really.

10/10

AAAGGGGHHH?! 

What the fuck is this thing? How does this relate to Chikorita or Meganium, who are both largely unchanged from their beta designs? Where are the eyes? Like I’m diggin’ the tiny smug face-looking thing at the top of the bulb, but what’s the deal with the huge single eye down below? Where did the legs go? Why does the body shape change so drastically in the in-between stage when both the first and third stages are quadrupeds?!

0/10 would not trade Bayleef for it

Meganium

Whew, okay. Back on familiar ground here. Meganium is likely my least favorite of the Johto starters’ final forms, but I still like my big, dumb boy.

8/10

Tepkon 

Awww~!

So unpopular opinion, but for a long time I really disliked cyndaquil’s design. I’ve come around to it these days, but back when GS came out, it really put me off. This thing is absolutely adorable, and though the design isn’t super inspired, I still fucking love it.

7/10 wouldn’t trade cyndaquil for it, but would love to see the design reworked for future games

Chubby quilava

This is like quilava’s cousin who grows up to discover that he’s actually more of a bear than a twink. Really like it–seems very cuddly.

7/10 like quilava better but I support this thicc boi

Kirara

Seriously, this is basically just Kirara from Inuyasha. Not as crazy about this design as its pre-evos, especially since it seems like it’s trying to edge in on arcanine’s floof territory. An okay pokemon, but not a fave.

6/10 would not trade typhlosion for it

Baby Nessie

Totodile was one of those pokemon that I had been low-key hoping for, but I gotta admit that this is one adorable little fucker. Look at its stubby limbs! Its cute snoot! Its pudgy tail!

6/10 would not trade totodile but would love to see in another game

Let me clear my thoat (I hope ya don’t mind)

I am…less enthused about the middle evo. The eyes are cute and the little shy smile is to die for, but the…ballast? on its throat kind of looks like a giant boil and I’m not really here for that.

4/10 no thanks I’ll keep croconaw

Dragonair but with legs

The final evo I like a bit more–it looks like a dragonair that struck up a deal with Ursula the sea witch so that it could pursue its land-dwelling love. Now that the gem isn’t jammed right up under the chin it’s less off-putting, and the kind of fang-looking necklace is a Good Look.

6/10 still prefer feraligatr but GameFreak please dust off this design

Hoot-Hoot’s just really into henna right now

I’ve never been a huge fan of hoot-hoot, and I kind of like the extra markings. I assume they were taken off to make the design less busy as well as giving it a fanned tail, but I think I’d actually prefer this one.

5/10 would replace regular hoot-hoot with this one

It is the night

Okay, here we go! Now this is a cool-looking pokemon that would make training up a damn hoot-hoot worth it. Noctowl is a decent pokemon in the game since it means you get access to psychic moves early in the game, but I’ve always thought the design looked too goofy. I like irl owls a lot and this design really speaks to me.

8/10 go back in time and give teenage me this bird instead

Mareep

There’s not a ton to say here other than they lightened up mareep’s fleshy bits in the final release, and I like mareep quite a bit so there we go. Instead, I want to draw attention to this disaster of a backsprite. What am I even looking at? A giant ball of cotton candy that rolled through a bunch of broken candy canes?

9/10 I mean I like mareep, but I gotta take off a point for that awful backsprite

Flaaffy

Flaaffs seems largely unchanged. I’m pretty partial to this boi as well, especially since I had one following me for a bit in my Japanese Soul Silver game.

8/10 I like flaaffy, but fuck that name spelling

Ampharos

One of my fave Gen 2 pokemon! Doesn’t seem to have much different about it, though I did always question where the delightful floof went. I mean we get it back in the mega evolution but still. What was that about, GameFreak?

9/10 docked a point for lack of floof

Mikon

So this is clearly a pre-evo idea for vulpix, and it’s pretty damn cute. I love that with the addition of this member to the family, it’s confirmed that the line increases its number of tails by 3 every time it evolves. I like this, but I’m not entirely sold on it. The face lacks some detail and I feel like the design isn’t different enough from vulpix to really feel necessary.

7/10 it’s cute but I don’t think vulpix needs a pre-evo

Mahou Shoujo Green

This tangela pre-evo is pretty cute, though the body underneath kind of reminds me a bit too much of oddish. I mean maybe it’d be cool to look at the oddish line and the tangela line and see how two related species had off-shoots, but I am not really the biggest fan of baby pokemon as an institution so these will all be a hard sell for me, sorry.

6/10 again, cute but unecessary

Tangrowth as imagined by CalArts

I loved tangela a lot back in the day, and tangrowth is a really interesting pokemon as well…however this one has a little bow and ringlet hair so like, no contest, really.

9/10 this should be an alternate evo option for tangela (perhaps for females?)

i could be your angle or yuor devil

So this one is kinda cool in concept. It’s clearly drawing influence from Japanese kites, and the scary face might be an evolutionary feature designed to scare off predators…that or it’s a flying/ghost or flying/dark type and the angel imagery is the ruse. Either way I fucking love this thing.

10/10 I want this concept revisited

Qwilfish

I like qwilfish a lot! It’s got cool typing, it can perform decently on a rain team, and it’s based on a pufferfish. It’s definitely an underdog in the wider world, but not in my heart.

10/10

The Fish Who Lived

I have…reservations about this evolution though. As cool as it would be to have a qwilfish evolution, this just isn’t doing it for me. It’s kinda cool that it’s shaped like a naval mine, and the Harry Potter scar is pretty cute, but I can get over the dead-eyed stare.

4/10 yeah no I think I’m happy to wait for better evo ideas to come along

Pichu

Pichu’s cute enough I guess but I’ve never liked it as much as pikachu and sure as hell not as much as my boy raichu. However if the baby version was this roly poly cutie, I think I’d be more into it. This style of pre-evo harkens back to the good ol’ days of fat pikachu, and therefore I must doff my cap to it.

8/10 with a bit of polishing I would take this over pichu for sure

Cleffa

Okay, so of the baby pokemon, of which I am generally not fond, cleffa is by far my favorite because of how cute it is. This is also extremely cute. I like picturing the trainer being able to just grab the thing by the little knob on its head if it’s heading toward danger. Plus that tail nub is so cute! I don’t know that I could choose between this version and the actual cleffa.

9/10 would be a 10 but Nate once said “what if cleffa’s hands were its nipples?” and now I can’t unsee it

Igglybuff

Iggly has always reminded me of the Powerpuff Girls, but this beta version is so…delightfully round. God, it’s like hypnotizing how round it is. You wouldn’t have to show this from above to trick someone in a silhouette quiz. The tiny, wide-set eyes are also both piercing and kind of unassuming, which I can’t decide is cute or terrifying.

8/10 think I’d swap this guy in for the existing igglybuff

Quagsire!

I freaking LOVE quagsire. It’s so derpy, I love water/ground types, and just everything about it is cute and makes me want to hug it. The only problem with it in this beta is that there’s no wooper.

10/10 bring wooper with you bro

Natu

I’ve always thought natu was cute and really neat in concept, but I’ve never actually sat down and trained one. This sprite isn’t too different from its final one, but it is missing the color scheme, which is one of the reasons I like it.

6/10 stop being so washed out!

Xatu

Also largely unchanged from its final design, though I do prefer the Silver sprite where its wings are spread. (And I’m sorry about this, but some of the pictures will have bits of other sprites in them, since it was hard cutting these all down in Paint with a trackpad.)

7/10 very unique

Prince(ss) of the sea

Is this a pre-evo of goldeen and seaking, and I can see why it was cut. Who thought either of those would be popular enough to warrant a baby form?

2/10 fuck yeah was a meme guys, it wasn’t sincere

Marill

Marill’s okay. I think it’s fairly cute, and the design they went with using smaller ears and non-clown feet is better imo. Plus this is really minor but it’s bothering me that despite the codename “pikablu” this sprite is pink.

6/10 solid cute pokemon, but the final design is better

Finding Flounder

So I’m a big fan of lanturn because of its digimon-esque eyes and its cool typing. Chinchou I’m…eh on. This cutie though, I could get used to this.

8/10 cute eyes are better than terrifying cross eyes I’m sorry

Clanker’s Cavern

As I just said, I like lanturn a lot. However, this is a shark with an anchor attached. That’s like if you left dhelmise and sharpedo at the day care on the same day an enemy team spilled plutonium all over the yard. It’s so stupid! I love this thing so damn much.

8/10 it’s way too similar to other existing pokemon, but I still kind of want it anyway

Homsar

This thing kind of scares me. The gaping mouth, the wide eyes, and the fact that it clearly would inhabit deep parts of the ocean all make me want to nope out. That said though, I respect it.

6/10 glad they came back to this idea with elektross

Crobat

If you’ve ever battled me in one of our local or online tournaments, you will know that I have a soft spot for crobat. I think golbat’s design is kind of terrible, zubat is simplistic yet kinda cute, and crobat gets to be both cute/cool and also not suck completely in battle (see what I did there?). This design seems mostly unchanged.

8/10 a very good bro

Most likely to drive an airbrushed van

This paras pre-evo looks like it’s inspired by a lovely whimsical creature from Wonderland or Fantasia. I kind of like having a pre-evo to show that at the start the sinister mushrooms allow the baby para to call the shots, biding its time until takes over the entire nervous system as a parasect. Really not feeling the face, though.

5/10 cute, interesting idea, but I don’t know if I want to add more baby pokemon to the mix

Spinarak

I have some mild arachnophobia, but I actually rather like spinarak since it’s so adorable. This version is a little more true to life and not as adorable. Also wtf GameFreak stop giving your arachnids six legs!

5/10 very much prefer the final design but kinda reminds me of the little jumpy bois I catch and release from inside my apartment sometimes

Ariados

Again with the six legs thing. Ugh. Anyway, this beta version of ariados is actually much cuter than the one we ended up getting in the final game. I’m pretty lukewarm on ariados in general (my spider boi of choice is the far superior galvantula), but look at this thing’s face! Look at the face on its body! It’s cute even when it’s trying to be scary!

6/10 why did we not get this adorable boi?!

Skarmory

It’s skarmory. That’s it. A pokemon that I like in theory but have never been super into his design.

5/10 respectably cool but not my cup of tea

Alphonse Elric’s head in chibi form, screaming as his body melts

Here it is. My favorite of all of the beta sprites. This thing is so fucking wonderful in part because I have literally no idea what the hell it’s supposed to be. What is this?! What type is it supposed to be? What is it based on? Is it a pre-evo of an existing mon? Why is its mouth parted in an eternal screech? These questions do not necessarily have answers, and I am a sucker for mystery.

10/10 GameFreak please bring this idea to life just so that I can get closure

Mine! Mine!

So I see what they were going for. It’s a baby form of doduo, with three baby bird heads and a big puff of feathers to make it look like a brood peeking out of a nest. I respect the idea, I do. Too bad it also conjures up images in my head of rat kings and other fused abominations. 

5/10 a good idea that didn’t pan out so well

[Obligatory Undertale Reference]

Sunflora would actually probably be more intimidating if it had an evolution rather than a pre-evo, though. I’m no big fan of sunflora, but I gotta say that this sprite is way better than the one we ended up getting.

6/10 replace existing sunflora with this bullet seed-spewing former skiddo

The Littlest Babaar

I’ve never really been into elephants as a species. Like they’re cool, but they’re pretty middle of the pack for me in terms of my animal preferences. As a result, I always found donphan kind of disappointing. However, I do like phanpy quite a bit, if only for the fact that it’s goddamn adorable. This sprite is a bit plain, but does bring the cuteness.

6/10 prefer the final design but this one ain’t bad at all

Donphan

The Don hasn’t changed much at all as far as I can tell. I’ve never trained one in Gen 2, so is its backsprite really just its trunk? If so, hilarious.

5/10 congrats! you exist!

That’s the statement of the grave mint, Doublemint

I can’t decide if this was intended to be a pre-evo for ghastly or if it’s supposed to be a new ghost type (perhaps later replaced by misdreavus?). Either way it’s an interesting concept, and I can imagine the pokedex entry now: “Born from the souls of fetuses who were eaten in-utero by their siblings. Since they feel they were destined to be twins, they find each other shortly after death and fuse together so that they’ll never be alone again.”

7/10 not the most original design but damn we had a shortage of ghost types back in the day

Girafarig

Girafarig is one of those pokemon that I always wanted to be more competitively viable because I think it has a unique design and could fill a cool niche. I like that the final design has the tail as an evolutionary measure and that there’s a smaller brain in it, just like some real life creatures. That said, we really missed out on getting a face full of evil uniraffe in the backsprite. Man, this is a real tough choice.

7/10 let’s keep girafarig as is and try out this concept on a different mon

Smeargle

This version of him seems a bit more…simian than his final, kinda canine design. Not sure if I dig it. Also, have you noticed that Gen 2 felt obligated to have a ditto/mew type mon that could mimic all the other mons? I feel like this concept gets revisited every so often and GameFreak thinks we’re none the wiser.

5/10 flesh beret just isn’t okay

Coin Kitty

So I know I said I’m against baby pokemon on principle, but the fact that this thing never saw the light of day upsets me so much. It’s so. fucking. CUTE.

10/10 go back in time and replace skitty with this

Betty Boop’s best friend

I get the feeling that this dark type cat got recycled into the purrloin line, but this one is way cooler imo. It references the old adage of “belling the cat” and I think that this pokemon line could have had some really cool sound-based signature moves (sorta similar to the whismur or jangmo-o lines).

9/10 not feeling the bipedal thing, but still a really neat concept I’d like to see

Luna

Again, I love the idea of a pokemon based on a fable. I can see why this particular design didn’t get used, given how simple it is and how closely it resembles umbreon if you just glance at it, but I’d love to see this revisited.

7/10 spruce up the design a bit and get back to me

Politoed’s wild ride

So when I first met politoed I felt he was a bit too…cutesy? Like the rosy cheeks were a bit much. This guy feels a bit more like he belongs in the poliwag line, though he doesn’t look like he’d be as bouncy.

6/10 might replace existing politoed design, might not

Slowking

Though I prefer slowbro as my yadon evo of choice, slowking is pretty awesome in his own right. Not a big fan of the clown ruffle, but honestly it’s kind of a minor setback all things considered. 

7/10 remember how he could randomly talk in the 2nd pokemon movie? That was fucked up.

Unknown

All of these cool, unsued beta designs, and this one gets to stay in?

1/10 don’t talk to me right now, GameFreak

Ledyba

It’s ledyba. One of the bug types I’m actually not really all that into. Pretty sure this is the sprite actually used in Gold.

4/10 fine just not for me

I see you

Ledian’s deal as a superhero is kinda cool, even if I don’t particularly care for the actual design. And I gotta say, it’s preferable to the ever-watching eyes of this thing. Those stars aren’t natural; they’re tattoos for each trainer its killed.

3/10 I feel like I need to go lie down

My Little Shetland Pony

Clearly this is intended to be a ponyta baby form, and while I commend the idea of a foal version (or maybe a Shetland or something?), you may notice that there is very, very little to set this pre-evo apart from ponyta. Like it and and rapidash aren’t exactly the most daring design-wise, so stripping it to the essentials doesn’t really work.

5/10 this is cute as all hell but it has no reason to exist

Espeon

Though I get shit all the time for liking espeon the least out of all the eeveelutions, I do still think the design is neat, and the fact that it draws from the nekomata myth is fascinating. Backsprite is a bit janky in the hips department–yet another unrealistic beauty standard, amirite ladies?

7/10 I personally don’t think there are any bad eeveelutions

Umbreon!

My absolute favorite Gen 2 pokemon! Not many changes between this and the final design, though I will say that this one looks a lot more terrifying–the hole eyes are worse than the red ones somehow. Still, love.

10/10 listen this is my personal rating

Alolan Shellder

This one is so fascinating to me. It’s obviously the chompy boi from slowbro and slowking, which in the pokedex is referred to as a shellder, but perhaps this is a unique evolution that only happens when it disconnects from the slowpoke? I am really upset this wasn’t actually used in the game, because getting to have this thing on the same team as slowpoke, slowbro, and slowking would have been like when Banjo-Tooie introduced the mechanic that let Banjo and Kazooie split up.

10/10 give me, dammit!

Garbage Pail Kid

Again with the baby form for a line that already is known for extremely simple designs. Grimer and muk are literally just piles of slime of differing sizes. (Shut up, Alolan forms weren’t a thing til later.) So basically this baby form is fucking adorable, and I’m loving the thing that could be a nose but I’m choosing to interpret as a mouth with a single tooth. It’s just that…who needs this?

7/10 cute, but not necessary by any stretch of imagination

Are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

Okay, so this beta is a) way cooler than remoraid ended up being, and b) makes the evolution line make SO MUCH more sense. I can definitely see why it was changed, especially since censor-happy America was a legit market by that point. And I guess the revolver barrel part of the design still persisted in Gen 2, but still.

5/10 booo censorship!

TANK!

Octillary’s name also makes way more sense with the original tank design. I mean I can kinda see why this changed, but like…Digimon was over there with a creature in the anime just literally called Tankmon who shoots shells at elementary schoolers so I don’t fucking know. 

7/10 I like octillary as is, but this is a much more interesting design

WWE fan

Okay so real talk, I am not the biggest fan of tyrogue’s design, but what was even going on here? What’s with the frog hat? Is it a safety helmet? The general hitmonlee body shape combined with the baby boxing gloves for hitmonchan was pretty cool, but this is not something I’d look at and think “Yes, this will grow up to be a humonoid fighting type.”

5/10 it’s…cute? I guess I just don’t see what’s going on here really

shaga;lsdkfhahdgajspd[f

NO. JUST NO. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING HERE, TOO MANY LIMBS, TOO MANY EYES, JUST NO. HITMONTOP ENDED UP BEING SILLY BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T THIS MANGLED BODY HORROR NONSENSE.

0/10 for reminding me of claydol and my own mortality

Pupper

This is going to come as a surprise, but I’m glad they didn’t introduce a baby form of growlithe. The growlithe and arcanine line includes 2 of my top 3 pokemon ever and as cute as this is I don’t think it would fit aesthetically. It looks like a spaniel that doesn’t match the shisa vibe of the growlithe line. That said, I would love to see it as a first form for a different line of perhaps…ground type doggos?

9/10 please give us some floppy ear dog designs, GameFreak! new doggos!

Like, nya

I do think the hoppip line (except for the last evo) is pretty cute, and this one reminds me a bit of an in-training digimon so I’m liking it. That said, I think the designs we got were better.

6/10 cute but like existing hoppip

Gardnyar

Again, prefer Skiploom.

5/10 not a fan of the flower for some reason

Nyancat theme plays in the distance

So I like this better than jumpluff personally, even if the other is probably a more unique design.

5/10 jumpluff’s limbs bother me, but lbr I was never going to train one anyway

New this Easter

Mr. Mime, I think we can all agree, is an unsettling design. That’s its whole appeal, really. Mime Jr. is cute enough I guess, but this is a tiny clown egg that looks like it’s learning to ice skate for the first time!

6/10 get your derpy clown nose out of here, Mime Jr.

Agatha’s apprentice

Smoochum is…well, she is. She’s kinda cute, and I think I prefer the finished design to this one since it looks way too similar to grown up jynx. Plus it raises some uncomfortable questions about it being born with ganguro make-up and hair (in a style that looks like E4 Agatha’s for some reason). This smoochum looks like it’d be taken out to sit alone at the bar in the club while wearing booty shorts that read “Mama’s Lil’ Bitch” across the back.

4/10 this makes me uncomfortable, and the hair is too close to Agatha’s

Which way to the Chao Garden?

Elekid is one of few baby pokemon I like, but hot damn this thing is adorable. It looks like a tiny, wingless bee with a halo.

7/10 can this be recycled as something else?

Bart Simpson

Really what keeps me from fully embracing the magmar line is largely the fact that they all have butts on their heads. These spikes are way more appealing to me, and so I would have loved having this one in the game.

8/10 is it still too late to redesign magby?

Bellossom

Not too many changes from the beta. I am digging the shoujo sparkles going on around her, haha.

6/10 not a big bellossom fan but a well-design pokemon nonetheless

Audrey III

Nope, I don’t like this, no sir. Where would this even go in the evo line? Is it supposed to be an alternative to victreebel? Cause this isn’t much better, guys.

1/10 I will give it one point since it looks like it could cut a rug on the dance floor

Miltank

A good, solid pokemon I’m pretty fond of (once I got over my salt from the Whitney battle). I like her as a female counterpart to tauros. Nothing too astounding but still fun and cute.

8/10 

Fire Seal

I feel like there’s folklore here, but my tired brain isn’t coming up with anything at the moment, sadly. Not a really detailed design but those tend to be more my favorites anyway. Trying to figure out what this was replaced by in the final game but I’m having a tough time figuring it out.

7/10 we have a lot of seals, but this is the only FIRE seal

Delibird

I see we chose the path with more subtlety in the end.

4/10 not really a big fan of delibird

Hanshin Hopeful

Okay, I know I said earlier that the screaming pile of goo was my favorite, but this line is also my favorite out of these beta designs. This one upsets me because this would have been such a great cultural addition! Osaka (represented by Goldinrod City in the games) has a baseball team called the Hanshin Tigers, which everyone in the area is a fervent fan of. Not only is this unbearably cute, it could have been hanging out in like a little baseball stadium area or something in or around Goldinrod. 

10/10 how could you leave this out?!

Nandeyanen!!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why did I not get this?! The Akihabara of Osaka is even called “DenDen Town” (Electric Town)!

10/10 we’ve missed our chance and now amends cannot be made

Talk to the wing

Is this supposed to be a farfetch’d evolution?! It doesn’t make a ton of sense aside from the waterfowl connection, but like…how pissed would you be if you were farfetch’d? This is kinda cool. I’m not super into swans or anything, but the masquerade/crime fighter mask is a neat detail.

5/10 I could see this being used interestingly, even if I’d probably not use it

Hitori Kakurenbou

I love this concept. Look at this! I know it was basically recycled for shuppet’s line, but this is so much more hardcore. Now this is a pokemon that can use curse appropriately.

10/10 personally like this one better than shuppet, if I’m being honest

Hsien-ko

This is the most Chinese pokemon since arcanine, oh my god. It’s a panda jiangshi. A panda jiangshi! Imagine it hopping after you adorably, ready to leech life you to death.

9/10 it’s not as cute as the pre-evolution, but still–panda jiangshi!!!

Murkrow

Not a lot of changes going on here either, aside from the more obvious witch’s hat design. Unsure if I like this one better or regular murkrow.

7/10 good flappy friend

*uncomfortable cough*

Blissey’s design is a bit too busy and frilly for my tastes, but it’s certainly a lot more acceptable than this. I get what they were going for: a heart on top of its head to represent healing and whatnot, but it just came out so…so yonic in nature that I have to wonder about the person responsible for this design.

1/10 not entirely awful but good lord

Scisor

Here’s the boi, only this time with eyes on his little crab claws! It’s cute but later got used for hydregion instead, and I dunno, I kind of prefer scisor as is. Still think scyther looks cooler, but a good strudy boi.

6/10 for the puppet shows it could give to entertain all the baby forms on this sprite sheet

Pinsir Noh Pinching

Here’s your fave, anon! You’re right that it seems to have a blank Noh-like mask on its face, as if a huge pinching bug wasn’t terrifying enough for you. That said, I kind of like the really creepy vibe, and poor pinsir got left in the dirt by his rival scyther once Gen 2 hit and gave scyther an evolution but nothing for his clampy comrade.

6/10 we could still get a pinsir evolution, guys

Houndour!

As you might expect of me, the houndour line is a close second to umbreon for Jess’s Favorite Gen 2 Pokemon. It combines two types I love, fire and dark, into this edgy but adorable package–what could I not love about it? This design is actually even better than the final one, because look at that sick-ass spine highlighting the ribs that got left in!

10/10 you cannot half ass edge; that misses the point

Houndoom!

Houndoom, meanwhile, looks pretty much as I remember him in Gold. And there’s nothing wrong with that–his design is fucking amazing. Man, kids, back in the metagame in Gen 2, houndoom was firmly in the top tier. Ah, I remember those days…

10/10 like a shark, houndoom has passed through decades without major tinkering to its evolutionary design

Baby yeti

Long before froslass burst onto the scene, this little bundle of deceptively charming horror could have been the first ice/ghost type. Yes, yes, it’s very adorable upon initial inspection, but once you look a bit deeper, you notice that the pokemon itself is actually black as night, with two piercing Jawa eyes, and the happy fur coat is another creature that’s been skinned and put on like a hoodie. Amazing.

10/10 I’ll take four

Wampa

I started on Star Wars references in the last entry and I gotta keep it going. Anyway, the evolution of tiny, arctic Buffalo Bill up there is even more fearsome, with claws and pupils! It’s even somehow found a way to make its fur covering evolve with it, having it sprout huge fangs (yeah I know, adults probably hunt larger creatures for clothing, but let me have this).

10/10 this so should have been a thing

Pon de Lion

I wonder if perhaps this design was meant to be an alternate form or evolution of porygon, or if this was an entirely different species based on toys (presumably to pad out the number of steel types). It’s an interesting idea, certainly, but I 100% get why this design got scrapped–it was a lawsuit from Mr. Donut waiting to happen.

Ugh

Did you know that horses produce 10 gallons of saliva a day? I now do thanks to Nate quizzing us over vacation last weekend to see if we could tell the difference between real animals and pokemon based on factoids. Now, lickilicky was not a new evolution I embraced with open arms, but man, it could have been so much worse.

2/10 I can’t say there’s no appeal (that mustache is great) but it just looks slimy and no thanks

Steelix

It’s steelix, unchanged from this beta to the final game.

7/10 I just think it’s neat

Sunken Master

I would like kingdra so, so much more if this is what it looked like.

9/10 this is goddamn cool and no one can convince me otherwise

Shadow the Edgedog

I’m not gonna lie, I fucking love this stupid design. It’s an electric dog with super sayain hair. 

10/10 fuck you, I do what I want

Oscar Myer

Do I find this design cute? Yes. Do I personally like it more than entei’s? Yes. Do I think it’s a better design than entei? No. It’s a bit too plain to really give off that legendary feel, but for me? I’d totally take this in a game. Also at least the last two have actually looked like dogs. The Legendary “Dogs” we got were a tiger, a lion/bear hybrid, and whatever the hell suicune is supposed to be.

8/10 I am a simple woman with simple needs

Jen Kira

I see people likening this design to Nina Tucker, but I actually don’t see that. It looks more to me like a special edition My Little Pony toy from the 80s released to promote The Dark Crystal. I dig it, even if it’s my least favorite of the three OG doggos.

8/10 if only some of the pizzazz of this design was afforded to fiery boi up there and we’d be onto something

Rook

This weasel/otter type thing is really cute, and perhaps was a concept idea for what later became sentret? I’d say I would want to see it again, but I kind of get the feeling we already did get the concept revived in the mienfoo line.

6/10 glad we got to see this one again

Ho-oh

Doesn’t seem too different from the sprite in the final game, and still a good design. That said though, I’m noticing that there’s no lugia in these beta sprites. What the fuck is that?!

7/10 got bros over this ho(-oh)

Togepi

This little bugger was introduced so early in the anime that I’m not surprised that its design was firmed up by the time the demo came out. Togepi’s okay I guess, but again I don’t really tend to like baby pokemon and I got kind of over-exposed to it in the anime.

6/10 cute but not a fave

Snubble

SNUB PARTY!! Snubs has the dubious honor of being the only dog pokemon I actively dislike. I like granbull so I can put up with it temporarily to get it to evolve, but this does a lot of things on my Dislike Checklist: aggressively pink, check; clown ruffle, check; appears to be wearing a dress, check.

4/10 not a fan

Boscoe

This early version of aipom looks like Marsupilami if it had been created by the Fleischer brothers. Something about this design just isn’t Right, but I can’t put my finger on it. I think it’s the 1930s American animation style face combined with walking on all fours? Either way it creeps me out.

3/10 though aipom is a very middle-of-the-road pokemon for me, it’s a helluva lot better than this abomination

Leafeon Prime

If you had asked us kid pokemon fans back in the days of Gen I what pokemon we’d most like to see in the future, I imagine “grass type eeveelution” was near the top for many of them. It just made sense–you had the leaf stone just sitting around, not reacting to your eevee, and it was so blatantly conspicuous. I had my own grass type eeveelution design I’d made called “Thorneon”, the design of which I might share at some point, and I was far from the only one.

So yeah, I’d have appreciated this a LOT in Gen 2. I was disappointed it wasn’t introduced in Gen 2. However, promises of a grass type eeveelution in Gen 4 got me to finally pull the trigger on getting a DS to play Diamond and Pearl, and that turned out to be an execellent decision. So maybe it was better that they kept this idea incubating for a bit longer.

10/10 I like leafeon and I also like this design–particularly like the vine bits that look like scars

And so there you have it! All 100 beta sprites reveiwed by yours truly. 

Hope it was worth the wait, anon!

[dcarevu]

DCAU #14: I’ve Got Batman In My Basement

“Say, Batman, you wouldn’t be single, would you?”

… Let’s just do this.

Villain: The Penguin Robin: No Writer(s): Sam Graham, Chris Hubbell Director: Frank Paur Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 30, 1992 Grade: F

So my original plan for this episode was to write a really sarcastic review where I would jokingly praise every aspect of the episode and write it up to be some kind of masterpiece. I was even going to give it an A++++++ grade, but then slip in the real grade at the end (and as a reminder, I’m not a professional, skilled, or trained critic. The grades simply mark my general enjoyment of an episode for those who are into that type of thing). Well, I tried a few times to write the damn thing, and I just couldn’t do it. Truth be told, it’s even difficult to jokingly praise this episode because it’s not like it’s entertainingly bad, minus one scene where we see Batman using a screwdriver as a weapon (ugh, puh-lease). It’s just kinda dry and unentertaining to watch, so it does not make for any kind of decent comedy.  Instead, let me start with a little story.

Back before I owned this series on DVD (and hopefully Blu Ray soon), I would watch it everyday on The Hub network. This is how I got back into the series after a long time of sort of forgetting about it (Nostalgia Critic helped re-spark my interest as well). I got exposed to many wonderful episodes this way, such as Sideshow, You Scratch My Back, and Vendetta. I was starting to figure that this show could do no wrong, and so when my dad sat down once when an episode was just starting, I got pretty excited! I was happy that my dad would get to see what great cartoon possibilities could be produced out of a superhero that he mostly remembered from the Adam West TV show (I would argue that this show is great too, but in a very different way). Well, guess what episode came on that way. No, seriously, I want you to just take a guess. Ayup. Now this is before I had ever seen or heard of I’ve Got Batman In My Basement. And with a promising title and title card (although Char thought that the title sounded a little bit creepy, and not in a good way…I will admit, I do get some BDSM vibes), I wasn’t worried. And then the episode started. Wow! Then Penguin! Hadn’t seen him in an episode yet! But I did have his action figure (from the show), and I had heard that Birds Of a Feather was absolutely fantastic. I wish I could even say that there was more buildup before the unfortunate letdown, but really, this episode doesn’t even start out good, particularly if you don’t have any expectations about the Penguin. Hell, if you’re an outsider, I wouldn’t say that the Penguin looks particularly exciting in the slightest. Yeah, he’s got those flipper-fingers, but paired with the sloppy animation of this one, I’m pretty sure Char thought that it was an animation error or something at first. And by the time we get to the two main characters of the episode which are a couple of children, and especially when Batman gets knocked out, I started to realize that not every episode of Batman The Animated Series was perfect. In fact, I knew then that there was at least one that I never wanted to watch again. And this was the one episode my dad happened to see! I almost wanted to change the channel, but I was holding onto a little bit of hope that things would improve. Even if it wasn’t until the end. But, well, you saw the rating. Now, I’ve since seen this episode twice more, via my own decision, merely for the sake of watching the entire series. I’m assuming that if I ever watch through again, I’ll skip this one, but for right now, this is business, and I’ve gotta get the word out about this episode, even though I’m apparently far from the first. Don’t watch it, man. It’ll break your spirit faster than the ground will break an egg from 5 feet up. Oh. And to make things even better, my dad caught another episode a little while later. It was The Forgotten. Yeah. I’ll leave it at that.

So one of the things that I see constantly complained about is that this episode is supposedly pandering to kids, and overall taking a show that was evolving to become more adult and wonderful for all ages to watch, turning it into a typical Saturday morning cartoon. And yeah, I won’t necessarily disagree with this all the way. It certainly does feel like a more typical Saturday morning cartoon. But let’s not throw Saturday morning cartoons under the bus here. By this point, we did have some established quality in cartoon-land. Ren & Stimpy, The Real Ghostbusters, Ducktales, and Tiny Toon Adventures had each been airing prior. Yeah, the episode does focus more on being aimed for kids, but this isn’t inherently bad, and only explains the problems on a very base level. There’s a difference between being aimed at kids yet still being god damn awesome, and talking down to your audience so that the only ones able to enjoy it are kids who a lot of the time will watch anything that moves. This episode seems kiddish because of two main factors; as stated it talks down to the audience, and the two main characters are children (and I swear, they look like they could be Velma Dinkley’s kids). I guess to add a bonus reason, it simply was not approached with love. The team behind the show has basically come out and said that the writers and storyboarders of this one didn't care, and Frank Paur, the reluctant director, tried to shape it up a little bit, but when you have deadlines, there is only so much that you can do. Keep in mind, we are less than 20 episodes into the series. Not everyone they were hiring was necessarily going to be on the same page. When this episode was started, it’s very possible that not a single episode had even been aired yet. After the show was watchable, that’s probably where new writers (and old ones) could watch other people’s work and determine what would work in this newly created DC Animated Universe. I’m a little interested in what Sam Graham and Chris Hubbell could have done with more knowledge of what was expected, but hell, for all I know, Bruce Timm could’ve gone over the series bible 234 times over to them. Lazy work is lazy work. Hard to redeem that because, well, often times the person is too god damn lazy! This is all just some speculation based on things that I know about the show, but ultimately I don’t even care that much. Only watch this one if you’re a completionist like I am.

Now, if held at gunpoint (and maybe I am, given that I really wanna move on to Heart Of Ice instead of finishing up this post) and made to find some positives, I would first tell you that the screwdriver fight is so stupid that it has to be seen. I’d rather just search that scene up on youtube or fast-forward to it, but hey, I didn’t say these were positives that turned that F into an A, did I? Ha ha haaaaa, I don’t think so. But the fact that Batman would wage a tink-tink battle with the Penguin in such a way, oh my god. it’s baffling. This is straight-up Adam West territory, guys. But y’know, I’m probably talking this scene up to much. I always say that it’s ridiculous, that it’s hilarious, that it’s so awe-inspiringly bad, but then I watch it, and it's never quite as entertaining as I remember. Not quite. Maybe being one of the only action sequences (and the only memorable action sequence) causes this effect on me or something? I don’t know. I feel like as goofy as this is, it’s soooo much funnier on paper when it’s purposely comedic. And alright….another positive quality before Sam and Chris push that big red button… Well, Roberta was actually pretty likeable, surprisingly. She was Char and I’s favorite character from the episode, believe it or not. Weird how even though episodes about kids don’t often end up stellar, they can still create a big strong kid character. It’s a case of personalities vs scenarios. Being delicate when it came to children-related plots was maybe a requirement? Then again, Robin’s Reckoning, guys. Robin’s Reckoning. And lastly, uhh, there were a couple of lines that made me chuckle a little bit, and in a way where the line was meant to be funny. Batman’s “Ma’am” at the end was perfectly in character, and Sherman’s response was great. Penguin gets a few good lines as well, despite such a lackluster debut. This episode went ahead to turn Char completely off to the Penguin, which is reluctantly expected, but hopefully after a nice long break from the character, a future episode can turn her around on him. We shall see. This debut is pretty hard to shake.

It embarrassed me a little bit when I first watched it, and it made Char want to vomit. Now that is some quality…Sherman. (Kill me)

Char’s grade: F

Next time: Heart Of Ice Full episode list here!