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rizzkisworld · 4 months ago

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exes to lovers

pairing: ex!enhypen x gn!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint

word count: 2.6k (each member is 300-400)

warnings: mention of princess treatment in Jay's(I don't feel like it implies a female reader, but understand if gendered terms make you uncomfy), Sunghoon's is a little depressing, lmk if there's anything else

Ty to my bae Milan ( @kairoot ) for the help💋

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

Heeseung

Guess I never got over you

There's never a moment in time where he's not thinking of you. Everything reminds him of you. Whenever he's scrolling through pictures on his phone, he always comes across yours. He could never bring himself to delete them. You were just.....his whole world. You were his everything and even though you broke up he could still feel a piece of you somewhere in his heart.

He doesn't even try to get with anyone else. He might go on dates here and there, but nothing goes anywhere. Not because the date was bad, but none of them are you. He only wants you. He doesn't admit it to anyone else, but you're always on his mind every second.

A year without you felt like hell. It was the biggest surprise to see you out while he was running errands. He wanted to be normal, didn't want to approach you and make you feel awkward. But most importantly, he didn't want to expose that he still had heavy feelings for you. He assumed you got over him, probably dating someone else now. He wouldn't be surprised cause you're so amazing.

He's in total shock when you approach him. There's a smile stuck on his face the entire time. Talking to you felt as if the gloom in his cloudy brain was overtaken by sunshine. You were his sunshine. You'd invite him to get something to eat after figuring out you both hadn't eaten. Was this for real? Is he dreaming?

You never realized how much you missed him until now. The others never satisfied your needs. Never gave you the proper attention he had, stared at you with loving eyes like he had, going out of their way to make you smile on your worst days like he had. You realized then that Heeseung was made for you. Being together may not have been right a year ago, but now, you knew it was the perfect time.

Jay

Never a moment you're not on my mind

Breakups were difficult, we all know this. But your breakup with Jay broke you. You felt as if a part of you left. You felt as if you were drowning in an ocean and he was the only one who could save you. But he wasn't there. At this point you believed life was unfair. Your first valentine's day without him really reminded you how in love you were.

The sweet gestures he would do, the dates he would plan, the gifts he would get, the princess treatment you received. You felt like you mattered to him. You felt like you were special. And you were. He saw you as more than just his partner. The breakup did a lot of damage to his heart as well. Though he wasn't as broken for long like you were, the impact you left on his life was visible. Especially now that you are gone.

You miss him everyday. There were times you believed you were over him. Times when you believed you were okay. Suddenly everything would come crashing down again. You just knew he was with someone new. Knew he didn't think about you the way you thought about him. Though not to the same extent as you, he did think about you.

Fate. That's how you'd both describe it when you bumped into each other. It was at a concert for a band you both loved. You'd spend so much time gushing over them together when you were dating. Things were extremely awkward. Actually that's an understatement for the tension between you two. It was as simple as a "hi" and a "how are you" before you had parted ways that day.

Little did you guys know that one occurrence was one of many. Suddenly you guys saw each other five times a month. At that point you knew it had to mean something right? The short conversations turned into long ones. All of a sudden you guys were texting? Then calling? Oh this totally meant something. Let's just say a rekindle of the relationship was the next step and it came faster than you could ever imagine.

Jake

Are we even exes?

The breakup was unexpected....kind of. Jake couldn't handle seeing you hurt, you couldn't handle seeing him that way either. With that being said, you both agreed to be friends. Friends, that was totally all you were. He was totally your ex. It was normal to still talk everyday, cuddle in bed, watch movies together, say "I love you" to each other, and make out. You know, things exes don't do.

You both swear up and down that you didn't realize you two were still acting like you guys were together. It took your friend to ask you if you got back with him for you to realize the situation. That's when the real breakup happened. You cried for days after cutting things off. Some days you felt fine and then the next you would feel as if a pile of garbage fell on you.

This sucked. Everything sucked. Everyone sucked. It took months to finally get over him. You had started going on dates again and let Jake completely leave your mind. Life without him was strange at first, but then it became normal. Even when you first saw him again at your mutual friend's party, you weren't fazed. He didn't seem fazed either. In fact, you saw him dancing around with another girl. That had to be his girlfriend right?

Didn't matter to you though. Strangely enough, that wasn't a one time thing. You started seeing him everywhere. Like legitimately everywhere. Was this a sign? Nah, it can't be. Things changed fast however. At another one of your friends party's you saw him again.

This time he was alone. He came up to you first. You guys talked for a bit...maybe one hour... actually for the rest of the party. One thing led to another and you both started talking consistently again. You found out that the other girl wasn't his girlfriend and she was just someone he met at that party. Safe to say you two weren't opposed to the idea of trying to work things out.

Sunghoon

Seems like we both can't move on

You always wondered if he still thought about you. You for sure thought about him. Every single day. There was no proper way to describe the hole you felt in your heart without him around. It made you feel as if you didn't cherish the relationship while it lasted. Little did you know that Sunghoon had thoughts about you. They were never ending. Whenever he tried to focus on other things, you popped back into his mind.

Something he's embarrassed to admit is that he has dreams about you. He didn't even realize that he stopped going outside much. He spent most of his time in his bed doing nothing, but thinking about you. You were no better. You were someone he could rely on and be raw and honest to. He was someone you could be your most authentic self with.

When you went on dates with other people, that was the one thing you noticed. None of them made you feel safe the way he did. None of them made you laugh the way he did. Were you ever going to find another like him? The first time you had seen him again, you chose to not speak. You wanted to get over him, talking to him wouldn't help.

Funny enough, Hoon shared that same thought process. He noticed you, but feared speaking with you would make it harder to get over you. He knew it would. The both of you hated to admit, but you both hoped to see each other again. Unexpectedly, it happened again. This time, you couldn't pretend you didn't see him. He couldn't pretend he didn't see you. Because you both locked eyes the moment you saw each other.

He was about to approach you, but his friend called for him before he could reach you. Feeling somewhat hurt, you went home hoping another occurrence like that would happen. You didn't need to hope, though. Your phone buzzed, and when you checked your notifications, he texted you. 'Wanna talk in person...alone?' That was the message. You couldn't leave him hanging. Better yet, you weren't going to. Maybe, just maybe, this time things would go right.

Sunoo

The words friend and ex don't mix

You never imagined that you could still be friends with your ex, but Sunoo was different....or at least you thought. Everything was mutual, so you guys promised there would be no bad blood. What was meant to be something as simple as being cordial, you found yourself still texting and calling him.

It's not like he was much better either. He picked up all of your calls and called back when he missed them. He responded to all your text messages and eventually found himself going out of his way to message you.

One thing led to another, and you guys began to hang out again. Realizing how much you missed him, how much he missed you, all of this became a regular thing. Still at that, you told yourself that you were just friends and nothing more. That was until your friend asked you directly if you still had feelings for him.

Of course you said no, it was impossible for you to catch feelings for your ex again right? Actually no, not at all. What if he didn't feel that way about you? Wondering if you should cut things once and for all, you then receive a message. From him. He wanted to meet with you. Anxious was somehow an understatement for how you felt.

You knew just as good that you would regret this. You knew he was going to cut things off, so you were preparing yourself. This last time you would spend together felt so bittersweet. You'd be in for a surprise when Sunoo spoke words you didn't know you desperately wanted to hear. "Wanna try us again?" That sweet smile you missed seeing. His delicate voice you missed hearing. Nothing in the world could compare to this moment. "Of course."

Jungwon

Can't escape you

You hadn't seen him since the breakup. It had been about 2 years since it all happened. It took you some time, but eventually you were able to move on from everything. You weren't necessarily trying to get back in the dating pool. Everytime your friends tried to set you up on a date you told them you weren't ready. The time just didn't feel right.

But has timing ever been on your side? Six months ago you started a new job at a café. It was mainly so you could build your bank up to help pay for your studies. Your coworker had told you the other day that someone new would be working. You did not expect it to be Jungwon. While you were wiping down the counter, you heard his voice. There was no mistaking his voice. "Hey, I'm Ju- oh.." He paused the moment he noticed who you were.

"Hi." You avoided all eye contact with him. Opening hours were coming up in 15 minutes, so you needed to make sure everything was set up. However, you couldn't take your attention away from him. He couldn't take his eyes away from you. You both failed to notice that neither of you moved. That was until the door opened and customers started coming in. From that day on you realized you'd be seeing him a lot.

For the first 3 months of working together you didn't dare speak to him and neither did he dare speak to you. The only words you'd exchange were work related. One day however, oddly enough, Jungwon approached you. Why? You still don't know, but the conversation was pleasant. You got the chance to catch up on each other's lives and share a few laughs. That's all. At least you thought so.

More months passed, and whenever you saw Jungwon you got that feeling. You know, the one where you can't think straight when your crush is around and your heart feels like it's 3 steps away from a heart attack? But you didn't have a crush on your ex right? Caught up in your thoughts, you never noticed how his eyes shined whenever they landed on you. How he was so eager to see you and hear your voice. He already accepted defeat. He'd fallen for you all over again. Now, all he needed was for you to admit you wanted him too.

Ni-ki

I'm here now

One of the more..."normal" breakups. Things just didn't work out at the time. He was traveling a lot while you were busy studying. You guys barely had time for each other and the relationship turned into a long distance one. You both decided things weren't working out and ultimately decided to break up. It broke your heart, of course it did. No breakup was easy.

You often found yourself reminiscing on the time you had spent together. He did too. Riki found it hard to sleep some nights knowing you weren't in his arms. I mean technically towards the end of the relationship you weren't there often, but being broken up felt different. Slowly but surely you built yourself up again. You weren't crying anymore and you were able to sleep peacefully now. However, you did still think about him from time to time.

It had only been a few months after all. You were still healing and that journey is never finishing quickly. Once you were in a better state your grades had improved, your skin was clear, you really took time to look after yourself. Riki on the other hand was healing slowly too. A few people had approached him, but he wasn't interested. Though he was getting over you, there were times you were on his mind. When a year and 6 months of your breakup passed, the both of you were in better shape. You both felt better and looked better.

Even better news, Riki was no longer traveling like crazy. He knew this was probably going too far, but he needed to see you. He at least wanted to see how you were doing. He claimed he wanted nothing more, but deep down, he wanted to hold you, kiss you, tell you the words you wanted to hear before you guys broke up. 'I'm here to stay.' You were at the library looking for a book you needed for a class when you noticed a familiar figure in your peripheral entering. It was Riki. You couldn't lie and pretend like you weren't excited. Riki didn't even know why he was there.

Something in his body just told him to go to the library. Now he knew why. Upon seeing you, he couldn't resist the urge to let his arms fly open. You found your way into his embrace. His hug was tight. It made you feel secure. Without saying any words, mainly to avoid noise violations, his body did all the talking. The reassurance you wanted from that time, you finally got it. Riki wasn't letting you go anytime soon. He honestly forgot you guys were in public. To make the moment more perfect, he leaned into your ear and spoke those magical words. "I'm here, and I'm going to stay for you.”

#enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #enhypen reactions #enhypen smau #enhypen angst #heeseung fluff #jay fluff #jongseong fluff #jake fluff #sim jaeyun fluff #sunghoon fluff #sunoo fluff #jungwon fluff #niki fluff #riki fluff

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yandere-daze · 9 months ago

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I´ve had this idea plague my mind for the last few days and now it´s finally time for me to unleash it onto the world. Feel free to comment on or ask questions about this idea/ AU if you find it interesting!

This work was inspired by the normalized yandere genshin AU I stumbled upon while scrolling through Tumblr, created by @fancyfeathers

Hope you enjoy!

gn reader

2,2k words

tw yandere, normalized yandere behaviour, mentions of obsession, possessiveness, kidnapping, stalking, murder, emotional manipulation and isolation

Yandere! Genshin Academy/Normalized Yandere AU

In this AU, yanderes are a normal and accepted part of society. Not only are their toxic attitudes and behaviours permitted but even encouraged. Somehow, over the years, people have even started to wish for a yandere as their partners. By Teyvat society at large, yanderes are seen as somewhat of an ideal partner. They´re fiercely loyal and would do absolutely anything for their darlings, right?

And yet, many darlings sing a different tune when reality suddenly comes crashing down onto them when a yandere actually starts pursuing them. Fantasizing about things such as being kidnapped is simply something entirely different compared to experiencing the real thing. And yet, when they call out for help from their loved ones, they´re simply patted on their back and congratulated. Some might even express their condolences to the poor yandere, saying that it always takes a bit of time for a darling to realize that this is for the best.

You are one of the few people who are completely horrified by the concept of a yandere and even more so to see everyone around you treat kidnappings or murder sprees as something completely normal or even romantic. You shudder at the thought of ever attracting the attention of a yandere, knowing that you would have no one to help you avoid that dreadful fate.

Which is why your complete world is turned upside down when you´ve been registered at the wrong academy by mistake. An administrative error, you were told. One, that might take a few weeks or even months to correct.

Now normally, you would have been annoyed but fine with this. You would just have to bear with it for a bit and attend a different school until the error is fixed and you can finally go to your desired one.

But you felt a pool of dread form deep within you when you did some research on the academy you had been wrongly assigned to. It actually wasn´t all that easy to find information on the academy, which you found strange, seeing as this has never been an issue with any other well-regarded academy. But no matter how much you search, nothing concrete is to be found. Only a few abandoned forum posts where people asked around about their missing friend who had last been seen close to the academy in question.

It made you feel a bit uneasy but you figured that it probably didn´t have anything to do with the academy itself. As sad as it was, disappearances were happening all over Teyvat, so this one case wasn´t really of note.

But seeing as you couldn´t find anything else, you figured that you would just need to figure things out on your first day attending the academy.

And oh, were you in for a nasty surprise.

As soon as you sat down for your first lesson, you noticed how strange the atmosphere was. Everyone had been staring at you so strangely when you entered the room, it kind of unnerved you.

After that, a few introductions were exchanged and you slowly calmed down again. Your classmates seemed nice enough and you thought that maybe, your time here wouldn´t be so bad after all.

All that quickly changed when your professor finally entered the room and introduced himself as the instructor who would teach you the subject of "stalking".

Turning your head left and right, you tried to see if anyone else was as shocked about this as you were but to your surprise, no one even raised an eyebrow at this very concerning introduction.

A class on stalking? Maybe this wasn´t what you actually feared and more so a clumsy way of saying that this would be a psychology class focusing on the mental effects stalking has on the victims? With all these yanderes running around unchecked, there were bound to be many victims and so a class like this might actually be beneficiary. I mean surely they wouldn´t actually try to teach young adults how to kidnap someone, right?

Right?

Well, it turns out you were wrong when the professor started outlining different forms of stalking. Following "your darling" around, stalking them online, placing cameras or microphones in their rooms to observe them anytime you wanted.

Your mind was spiraling as you listened to the lecture and you briefly wondered at just what kind of an academy you had been enlisted in. Surely this must be some kind of joke, right? A prank played on newcomers at the academy to get them spooked? Surely someone is going to come in any moment, clear all of this up and then laugh at you actually falling for this?

But no matter how much you hoped for this to be the case, no one was coming. No one was making fun of you for falling for such an obvious prank. In fact, none of your classmates seemed perturbed at all by what was being taught here. How could they be okay with a lesson that basically amounted to "how to stalk someone 101"? You felt like you were losing your mind.

Glancing to your right, you see your blond deskmate eagerly nodding along to whatever the professor was saying and swiftly taking notes whenever a sentence seemed to particularly strike a chord with him. His red eyes practically sparkled as he outlined "helpful tips and tricks for not alerting your darling of your presence" on his paper, using a text marker to highlight a particular passage as if to say that it would come in handy in the future.

On your left, you saw another tall male student and for a moment you hoped that maybe, just maybe, there was someone else here who was bothered by the lecture given. He had a bored look on his face and he was wearing some type of headphones over his grey hair. Was he even paying attention? Maybe he was trying to cancel out the horrific lecture taking place at the moment.

You discreetly leaned over a bit, only to see that he was actually holding a book hidden under the desk, his eyes carefully following the paragraphs of tiny letters. Well, it seems like he certainly wasn´t paying much attention to the lecture because what he was secretly reading seemed to be some advanced material on the success rate of different methods of stalking, from the looks of it.

You quickly turned your head back when you saw him glancing over at you with an unreadable stare. Well, it looks like your hopes were dashed again after all. This guy was nuts too.

Knowing this, you really couldn´t do much aside from waiting for class to be over.

Your small hope that this was just a really strange outlier was quickly destroyed again in your following classes.

Next was a class on emotional manipulation and how to get your darling to depend on you.

Then, a class on how to force yourself into your darling´s life and how to approach growing closer to them.

Finally, the day ended with a lecture on how to kidnap your darling and make them disappear without a trace.

As the bell finally rung, the professor informed your class that there was also an optional class about how to effectively "get rid" of a rival that you can sign up for. You pretended to not be bothered when several students raised their hands to show their interest in attending this course.

You scrambled to get out of your seat as fast as possible, not wanting to stay in this hellish classroom for even a second later. You fled into the hallway and walk by groups of students excitedly chattering about things you didn´t want to listen to.

"Oh, I hope I can find my darling soon! I just know I´ll feel a special connection when we first make eye contact! I´ve been waiting for so long", the first girl swooned as she twirled strands of her long brown hair around her finger, seemingly lost in her own fantasies.

"Agreed. I know that once I meet my darling, I won´t let anything get between us. I will never let them go. It´s only a matter of time", the taller, blue-haired woman chimed in, her voice calmer than that of her excitable friend.

You didn´t like the way her eyes linger on you as you pass by them.

Once home, you tried to make contact with the administrative office again to ask them if the process of your transfer can be sped up in any way. You didn´t want to spend another second in that academy.

With what you have seen today, you were easily able to deduce the true nature of this academy and it left you absolutely terrified.

The fact that you weren´t able to find any information about the academy beforehand, your strange classmates fixated on their potential "darlings" and of course the horrid classes being taught there.

Somehow, you have ended up in an academy for yanderes. Every single person you saw there today was a lovesick lunatic in some shape or form. And the more you thought about it, the more you realized you were in huge danger there. What would your crazed classmates do if they ever found out that you actually weren´t a fellow yandere but someone they could claim as a "darling"? The very thought of it makes you sick. You have to get out of there immediately!

Which is why your heart dropped when after some long hesitation, the person on the phone finally answered you.

"You must excuse me but I´m afraid to tell you that there have been some... unforeseen circumstances that do not permit me to work on your case at the moment. I have been asked to postpone this matter until further notice".

"What? Why?", is all you could manage to say in your befuddlement. You knew bureaucracy can take a long time but for this woman to specifically be asked to postpone this? Just what was going on here?

Again, the woman on the phone hesitated to answer and you could hear a tinge of nervousness in her voice when she finally spoke up. As if she wasn´t sure if she was allowed to say what she was about to.

"I´m afraid that I´m not at liberty to provide this information. The person asking me to...focus on different cases for the meantime wished to stay anonymous. Even so, it is not within my power to refuse their wishes as they have provided our establishment with a generous donation. I sadly cannot help you with this issue", at least the woman did sound generally apologetic but that didn´t really help you in this situation.

Your mind was still reeling as you processed this information. Someone specifically asked for your transferal to not be worked on? Why would anyone do this? And they seemed to have a large fortune too? Why all this to make you stay around?

It can´t be that you already attracted someone´s attention while at the academy, right? Surely that couldn´t be true! You made sure to not interact with anyone directly after you realized just what kind of people attended this school. How could one of these yanderes have "fallen for you" already?

It seemed so utterly unbelievable and if you were being honest, you didn´t want to believe that it was true either. But nothing else made sense. Why would anyone do this otherwise?

Noticing your prolonged silence, the woman spoke up once more.

"I´m sure that all of this will be resolved soon. It will only be a few months. I am sure you will find many friends at your current school soon."

You sure hoped not. The thought of being noticed by any of the yanderes already made the hairs on your neck rise. You vowed to stay away from anyone who even showed a fleeting interest in you. You had to keep yourself safe until you can finally switch schools. You could do this, you had to!

You barely registered when the woman bid you farewell and hung up the phone after you once again didn´t answer her.

Now completely alone, you forged a plan. If you didn´t want to get involved in anything dangerous, no one could find out that you were actually here by mistake and not a yandere. Nothing could be worse than these lunatics finding out that you´re a darling, so you´ll have to be very careful. But how do you do this?

Well, it seemed like you must act like a yandere yourself. You would have to pretend that you´re a lovesick fool who totally isn´t bothered by all this talk about kidnapping, stalking, and murder. Thinking about it again already made you sick but you didn´t really have any other options. No one could find out or it was over for you.

You only hoped that you could convincingly play the part and that no one was perceptive enough to see right through you. Well, it couldn´t be that hard, right?

Surely no one already had their eye on you. Right?

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carolmunson · 1 year ago

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caught like a fool without a line. (older!modern!eddie)

part five of who knows how many. orange colored sky setlist.

summary: we've been seeing eddie for a month and the fear starts to settle in. with eddie's past and present making things difficult and your own insecurities brewing, things come to a bit of a head one night when you're out at a bar. featuring older!robin and our favorite guy older!steve from @loveshotzz series 'all i really want is you'.

tw: age gappy (reader and eddie are 12 years apart, but reader is late late 20s/early 30s and eddie and late late 30s/early 40s throughout this story so it's not like so bad). drunk!reader, alcohol consumption, discussions of eddie's promiscuous past (i know some people don't like when eddie is a slut), implied that reader wears eddie's clothes to bed but not that reader is small. gifs by: @keerysbrandnewbg and @eddiemunsonsource

songspiration: open | rhye and feelings | lauv

You swirled the big ice cube in the tumbler with an unenthusiastic flair, making the orangey red liquid in the glass nearly spill. “And I don’t get it, we had a really nice first date and then made out again the next week and talked all the time and now he’s barely texting me back,” you complain, the tart grapefruit of your friend’s new take on an Aperol Spritz floods your mouth at your next sip.

“Maybe he’s just busy,” your friend Charlie suggests from behind the bar, “He’s older, you said, right? He might just not be on his phone as much. Do you like the drink? Is it too bitter?”

“It’s bitter but not in a bad way, in a good citrussy way,” you nod, “And yeah he might not be on his phone as much but then why just sort of suddenly drop off and barely respond? Like, look at this.” You take out your phone, laying it on the bar and scrolling through a plethora of blue texts with some sprinkles of gray in between, “I look so pathetic.” “I think you just really like him,” she shrugs, smirking, “And I think that’s good, you haven’t been this excited about someone for a little bit.” “Yeah, but every time I’m excited about someone it bites me in the ass,” you lean on the palm of your hand, flipping your phone over, “Plus like, I’m not trying to be with anyone like that right now.”

Your friend gives you a look, “Okay, sure.”

“What do you mean ‘okay, sure’?” you scoff.

“You’re not trying to be with anyone like your ex,” Charlie corrects, her dark red lips pulling into a smirk, “You go on and on about how you just want someone to take care of things for you. Maybe he’s that kind of dude.”

“He has someone come every Sunday to clean his house for him,” you sip the drink again, “I don’t think he can take care of anything for me, considering I can clean my own house.” The bar slowly starts to fill up with the after work crowd, leaving Charlie to run back and forth between you and pouring beers for incoming patrons.

“He can afford to have someone come and clean his house,” she says with a smirk, holding down the tap while she fills a glass with Lagunitas, "That's kind of hot." You flip your phone back over and sigh, no new messages.

If anything is true in the music and art world Eddie is involved in it's that Eddie Munson is a professional loverboy. Never with someone for too long, never long enough for them to want something more than fun -- never long enough for 'Are you my boyfriend?' never long enough for 'What are we?' It got easier the older he got, the less women and men cared about labels. You were right to make that judgement about his key carabiner hanging on the front of his keys. Eddie Munson is a slut, and everyone knows it but you.

He had two actual girlfriends in his early twenties, but nothing quite like his friendship with Steve. 'Platonic life partner, sometimes,' they'd list it as -- never too afraid to get affectionate. Hugs, kisses on the forehead, Eddie held him so many nights when Emma died he felt like they left an indent in the center of the bed. He touched and loved the people who loved him back, but to anyone else – he never wanted to get too close. He always gave out just enough of him – enough for people to keep wanting more, a satisfaction he basked in now since he was such a loner in high school with no notches to his belt.

But now he’s blabbering on to Robin over a huge plate of nachos about how you texted him all day. You texted him all day and he had his phone charging in the kitchen while he was upstairs in his office so he didn’t know and now it’s very clear that you’re upset.

"Okay? How is this different from the girl you were seeing over Christmas?" Robin laughs over a mouthful of loaded nachos, a frosty pink Frosé next to her to beat the heat. Her eyes crinkle closed, a smattering of freckles stretching on the apples of her cheeks when she smiles. The heat of a sunburn runs soft pink over her nose, outside of the gray in her sand blonde hair that she'll never dye, she looks almost the same as she did in high school. “So you didn’t text her back,” she shrugs, “You leave her alone, she fades off into the distance – just like the girl before that, and the guy before that, and the girl before that. Why're you talking about it like it's the end of the world?” "I care," he groans, turning his phone to show Robin your messages. You'd sent them every few hours, but most of the messages from the morning and afternoon were from when he was working -- phone nestled on the charger down in the kitchen while he clacked away on code upstairs. By the time he saw them he was embarrassed, and you were probably already at your friend's bar. Eddie tries to explain the whole situation while Robin scrolls through with a careful and soft expression, a tiny smile forming on her face.

“I already fucked it up,” Eddie sighs, pulling his hair up into a ponytail with volume hair stylists would envy. He runs his hand over his jaw, following the edge of it to land behind his neck where he squeeze gently on the muscle.

Robin shrugs again, passing his phone back to him, “Par for the course, kid.”

His eyes narrow, “I’m older than you.”

“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes, “You always fuck it up, Ed. That's your thing. You walk into a room and someone leaves crying. You've never done the whole sappy love thing with someone, why do you think you're changing your tune now?”

“I know but – fuck Robin, I didn’t even sleep with her yet,” he says a little louder than he intends. His tattooed hand wraps around the Pilsner glass in front of him, dripping in condensation, bringing it to his lips.

“That’s a new development,” she raises her brows, crossing her legs, "You never wait this long."

“I just…I don’t…I shit – I don’t know.”

“What did Steve say?” Robin asks, teeth biting down on the straw to her drink, “He always has good girl advice.”

“I haven’t even told Steve.”

“At all?!” she nearly spits out the frose all over the nachos.

“Rob we just buried Em,” he explains softly, “Like, she’s not even fuckin’ cold yet. I can’t just come out of the woodwork five months later like ‘Hey man, think I actually met a girl I’d consider a future with. We’ve been seeing each other for a month’. And like – what if I’m just psyching myself out? What if this is just an early midlife crisis?”

Robin takes a slow sip, nodding while he speaks before taking a pause. “Ed, I think you’ll feel better if you tell Steve,” she offers, “I think he’d get your head straight about it. But in the meantime, you should text her back.”

“What do I even say?” he huffs, shoving a loaded nacho into his mouth. “Try honesty with a woman for once in your entire life, Rockstar boy,” Robin plasters on a customer service smile that makes him let out a frustrated ‘tsss’, “It won’t kill you.” "Here, I'll text Nance and ask her -- she's our next best bet," Robin takes out her phone and types with the fervor of a teenager with a sugar high. Eddie sips his beer, looking at the screen of his phone while the cursor to type blinks back at him.

You stumble out of the bar, too crowded now to have fun with your friend. Over tired and over served you make your way down the street and around the corner, stopping to lean against the brick wall of a different bar when you feel your phone buzz in your hand. You take a minute, taking in your surroundings. People are so loud down here, and everyone is so pretty. Street lights are there and gone and there and gone as cars whiz passed on Delancey, the bustle of the Friday night life in the LES is a buzz with excitement. You're already a little down for the count. Your phone feels like a paper weight in your hand, sighing with satisfaction at the notificaiton on the screen. But your chest still aches with annoyance, how many times were you gonna get drunk at a bar with a swollen heart over some dumb boy? Man? Guy?

You don't want him to come save you, you know how to get home. You can see the green bulbs of the train entrance and the glow of the McDonalds 'M' on the corner in the distance. Down the stairs, one train into Brooklyn, cross platform transfer -- you've done it drunker than this countless times before. You text Charlie with an air of victory before putting your phone back in your smart black faux leather bag slung over your shoulder. The warm summer air flows over your legs, catching the hem of your a-line skirt -- the light material flowing in the breeze. Time isn't working quite right for you but it feels like it's been five minutes and he hasn't shown up, so you make your way to the edge of the corner to cross.

"Whoa there, Peach," you hear Eddie's gruff voice from the side of you, the pull on your arm the same as when he steadied you at Trader Joe's a month ago, "Careful now."

You pull out of his hold, glassy eyes focused on the black and white stripes on the street ahead of you, "I know what I'm doin'."

“Where are you goin’, huh?” he asks softly. Eddie steps in front of you, guiding you to the light post to get out of the way of other pedestrians.

“Home,” you slur, “M’goin home. Trainssright there.”

“I don’t think you’re good to take the train,” his voice is gentle, hand coming out to hold you at the waist, “I can get you a car.”

“I’m fine.” It's the only sentence that comes out lucid, his jaw ticks.

"You don't look fine," he looks down into your glassy eyes, a look he's seen before. The way his mama would drown herself in whiskey and stumble into the kitchen so the bruises would't hurt so bad. The way an old fling would slur to him about how she can't live without him. The way you look so sad and it's his fault.

"I'm. Fine," you reiteratie. The light changes, the bright white of the walk sign flashes across the street. You go to pass him but his hands place themselves on your shoulders. "You really wanna get boiled alive on the train?" he asks with a smile, "You don't wanna take a car?" You sigh, why does he have to be so handsome? The gin from your last two drinks travels from your head to your thighs, pulling them together at the sight of his smile. He has that ratty vest on, a CBGC t-shirt sticking to him under it, the sleeves completely torn off. He smells like cedar and citrus again, a hint of a left over cigarette. His grays catch the light of the over head lamp, bouncing like tinsel in his pony tail sitting on the crown of his head. "Can we go to your house?" you ask, voice raised a higher octave than normal. His face blanches, "Aw honey, that's not a good idea. I don't want you to think that I --" "Please?"

"Thanks, have a good night," Eddie waves off the delivery man with a smile as he rides away on his bike. With plastic in hand he makes his way back up the stairs where you've set up shop on one of the stools in his kitchen, head down on the island counter.

"Food's here," he says quietly. Dealing with drunk you was very much like dealing with drunk Robin in the early 2010s, overgrown toddler in a bad mood. You let out a half hearted 'Yay', head coming up, eyes half closed in the kind of sleepiness a few mixed drinks and some beers can send you into. He goes into the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Poland Spring and a beer for himself. The waters get placed in front of you while he tends to getting the food plated up.

You ignore the water -- Blue Moon bottle staring right at you, and to be honest -- a cold cirtussy beer sounds sooo good right now. You reach forward, the glass ice cold against your palm now that the liquor has fully settled, heating up your skin. The sound of glass on the counter cobbles through the kitchen when you slide it closer to you, alerting Eddie to the noise.

“Excuse me,” he says sharply, snatching the bottle out of your hand, “Can you behave?”

You pout when his eyes narrow at you, heart thumping guiltily in your chest, shame brewing in your skin. You nod back at him with sad eyes, a twinge plucking in your heart strings.

“Don’t give me that face,” he warns, “Don't act up."

“I don’t like when you’re mean,” you mumble softly, running your fingers in shapes over the butcher's block counter top. He sighs, plating your sandwich and pulling your fries from the bag. He kisses your temple while he slides the plate in front of you. "I'm sorry, honey," he says quietly, but gin always puts you in the mood to argue. "You don't have to talk to me like, like -- you don't have to talk to me -hic!- like I'm a kid," you hurtle out, surprised at your own gumption, "I'm not."

"I know," he says, putting the bags into his recycling bin under the sink, "I'm not talking to you in any kind of way Peach I -- " "You don't even like me," you state. His head cocks to the side, leaning on his hands while they hold on to the edge of the island. "Who said that?" "I was -hic!- I was talking to someone at the bar about --" you start, lump building in your throat, "About you and um -- they said, they said it sounds like --" Your eyes water, "Like I'm just for fun." "Oh," he says, looking down at his hands. The weight of this conversation falling into his stomach from his chest like a deep pit.

"Like I'm just fun for you to play with -- but like, you don't even wanna have -- you don'even wanna h-have-have seggzwithme so like -- you don't even like me." More and more if your insecurities flow out of you like a broken faucet, tears starting to slip down your cheeks.

"And like you probably don't even think I'm pretty."

"Oh, baby, no," he coos, brows tilted in sympathy while you drunkenly let all your sober fears out, "I think you're so pretty."

"So pretty," you repeat, wiping your face with your hands, "But that's it."

Eddie takes a deep breath, coming over to you and pressing his warm soft lips to your cheek, "Let's talk about this in the morning, sweetheart. I'm gonna get upstairs ready for you."

"I should just go home," you sniffle, embarrassment starting to flow through you with your bloodstream, burning all your pores, "I'm sorry." "No, no, don't go home," he assures, nose nuzzling against your cheek, "Stay. Just stay."

He makes sure you eat, watching you come back to yourself the fuller and more hydrated you get. You're easy to lead upstairs, pliant and tired now, needy almost -- not that you'd ever admit to it. You tease him about his 'old man pills' when he takes out his perscription high dose Motrin he got for some old back pain. Great for when you might get a killer hangover these days. You grimace at the Pedialyte mixture he has you drink before you get tucked into his bed -- out before you can even feel him grab the pillows and a throw from the other side of you. He settles in downstairs on the sectional, sighing while he thinks about the way your face scrunches when you're about to cry. He flicks through his Hulu options on the big screen in front of him but nothing really seems to catch his attention. Mind wandering to you asleep upstairs but knowing better than to crawl into bed next to you when you're not yourself enough to say it's okay. The familiar buzz of his phone goes off on the coffee table, when he picks it up his face is on the front screen while someone calls in on FaceTime. "You're callin' late, man," Eddie grins lazily, socked feet sticking out to rest on the worn walnut table in front of him, "You okay?" "Yeah me and Bandit just got in from camping. Got some pics of him to send you, he's such a scamp." "You have fun?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. Eddie's voice is quiet while he speaks making Steve's head cock to the side. The lights changes on his face while he walks from the living room to his bedroom. "Yeah we had a lot of fun," Steve starts, "Why're you whispering?" "What do you mean?" Eddie asks, getting up off the couch to pad back into the kitchen. "You're talkin' all quiet," Steve smirks, "You got a girl over or something?" Ed puts his phone down and huffs while he grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet. Steve giggle, leaning his head in closer to the screen. "You do, don't you?" he guffaws, "Am I interrupting?" "She's sleeping," Eddie says softly, picking up the phone again and leaning against the counter. "Aw, so you ended up texting her back? Good."

"What the fuck? Who told you that?" Eddie's brows furrow, spitting through a mouthful of chips. "Robin, obviously." The light changes on him again while he makes his way to his own kitchen. Bandit's little pants and huffs echoing into the phone, "You think Nancy came up with the 'Hey pretty girl,' opening? She's never been a flirt."

"Well it worked so, congrats."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" Steve pulls his own bag of chips out. They crunch together. "It just didn't seem right," he shrugs, "Y'know with Emma it's hard to be like, 'Hey I think I might actually see a future with this girl I've only been seeing for a few weeks.' Like, you just lost the love of your life."

"I'm not gonna be sad to hear that you're into someone, Ed," Steve smiles softly, voice calm, "Tell me about her."

So he does, he tells Steve about how he kept running into you that day at Trader Joe's and how he felt so stupid for not waiting at the doors for you but he was too scared. You were so cute in your bike shorts and sneakers, so careful in how you chose the fruit you were gonna get. When he saw you on the platform he knew it was like he was getting a second chance -- "Maybe Em thought you should stop being such a whore and sent her over," Steve laughs. Ed rolls his eyes but can't hold back his chuckle, watching as Steve rests his chin on the heel of his hand while he listens. Eddie talks about the picnic date, how he immediately felt comfortable telling you about his mom. The rain, the kiss in his apartment -- how he could've fucked you but didn't. How all your little dates had gone since.

"Oh so you like her," Steve nods.

"I'm scared," Eddie says quietly. "Scared?"

"What if it's just a fluke and I hurt her? Or I get hurt?" Eddie asks, "And like -- please don't take this the wrong way but like -- what if I put in all this effort and then lose her?"

"Like how I lost Em?"

Eddie nods slowly, not wanting to say the quiet part out loud. He talks about what you said when you got back to his place, how you think he doesn't really like you, how he doesn't think you're pretty. You're just for fun. "But this doesn't feel like 'just for fun', does it?" Steve challenges gently, "Cause if she was just for fun you would've texted me about if she could deep throat or not."

Eddie chuckles darkly, pink rising on his cheeks -- Steve chuckles too. Still gross boys who are gross.

"You should tell her how you feel," he encourages, "What's the worst that can happen?" "Everything."

"Okay," Steve shrugs, "I lost everything. And what happened?"

"We all came to pick you up." "Exactly. We'll be here to pick you up, too. Don't like..." Steve sighs, "Don't just immediately throw something away just because you're not used to it. The more you stand there and think about what you want, the less she's gonna think you want it."

"I know..." "So let her know you want it."

They talk for an hour, both cozied up on their respective couches -- Bandit immediately getting in the frame and yelping at Eddie's face on the screen. The seize in Eddie's chest loosens because maybe this could be okay. Now he just has to make sure you know it.

You wake up the next morning, groggy and dry -- but thankfully not nearly as hungover as you were expecting. Your joints hurt, your stomach's a little jumbled, but no headache and that's what matters the most. You shift in his crisp sheets, turning around to see that the bed is empty next to you -- pillows and throw blanket gone with him. You slept alone. You look at your phone on the bedside table next to a full bottle of water. You chug it while you check your notifications -- 6:11 AM. If anything was true, you always woke up too early when you drank too much the night before. The water sits heavy in your belly, pressing your bladder which was already screaming for you to go to the bathroom. With a sigh you stand up, and when you do, the embarrassment of the night before settles in. Your emotional hangover.

You pad to the bathroom and pee, seeing your face in the mirror like you did the night you got rained out. Your makeup is smeared, face a little bloated -- you do your best to wash it off. The cool water feels good against your skin, still hot from the liquor and dehydration. You pat your face dry and leave the bathroom, lingering at the top of the stairs where he's laying on the couch, already awake. "G'morning," you rasp out. He perks up, head tilting up to look at you from his place in the living room. "Morning, peach," he smiles, "You feelin' okay?"

You nod, ungracefully stomping down the metal steps of the spiral staircase while you get your footing, "Your old man pills must be magic or something."

Eddie pulls back the blanket, scooching back against the cushions to make room for you to lay down next to him, "C'mere, baby."

C'mere, baby runs down your spine, making your throat catch. You make your way towards the couch, crawling in next to him. The living room is quiet, with just some early morning sun pooling into the windows -- like you two are the only people awake on the street this morning. He covers you up, wasting no time wrapping himself around you and pulling you into him, "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," you nod into his chest, the scent of his skin mixing with the faint smell of cirtus and cedar, "Did you?" "Normally I'm fine on the couch," he says, voice grizzly and sleepy, "But I didn't sleep a wink last night." "Oh, I'm sorry. I could've slept on the couch or I --" "No, it's not that," he shakes his head, catching your gaze, "Probably would've slept better if you were next to me." Your cheeks burn, a smile splittling across your face, "Well I'm here now."

"You are," he nods, leaning up to run his thumb over the apple of your cheek where a stray piece of glitter sits. Remnants of your makeup that you couldn't wash away.

"I'm um...sorry for how I acted last night," you confess, "That's not like -- that's not how I am."

"Don't be sorry," he assures quietly, "I understand." You're both quiet for a moment, the hum of the central air fuzzing the silence between you. "You're not just for fun, peach," he says, a seriousness to his normally playful voice, "I'm sorry I made you feel like that." "I um -- I'm sorry I kind of went a little insane," you shrug, feeling small, "I didn't mean to text all those times and then come here and cry and like --" "Stop apologizing," he says, thumb grazing your lower lip to stop you, "You were just feeling a way, that's okay. I get it." He takes his thumb away, leaning down to give you a kiss that sends you reeling. Warm and soft, delicate. His hands lead his arms around you again, smiling when you reach up to cup his cheek. "I like you," Eddie smirks against your mouth. "I like you, too," you smile when he breaks away. "The deli's open on the corner if you want me to run over and get a bacon, egg, and cheese," he offers quietly. "Why do I feel like you were gonna do that anyway?" you ask in the same tone. "I was," he grins again, "I just wanted to impress you by asking." He sits up, clamboring over you to get some coffee started so it'll be done by the time he gets back. You wait patiently for him, rolling your eyes while he shoves his socked feet in his slides, leaving the house in his pajamas of a t-shirt and black joggers. You prepare the coffees, feeling domestic like you live here -- getting used to where things are already.

He comes back twenty minutes later, sighing when the air conditioning hits him as the door opens, "It's already like, 80 degrees."

"Gross," you reply, face scrunching in the way that he likes, "Coffee is ready." "Oh, thank you." His eyes glitter at the gesture, seeing that you used the same mugs from when he had you over the first time. Those are his favorites, but you'll learn that eventually. The sandwhiches are tossed on the butcher block counter where you cried last night, but your embarrassment melts away when you feel him wrap himself around you again -- like he can't get enough. "I'm playing a show on Thursday at House of Yes," he says, "They're doing a metal theme'd night." "Yeah?" you ask, hands reaching for the plastic baggy and taking out both of your sadwhiches wrapped in foil. His arms still tight around your middle while you maneuver around your kitchen. "You should come," he asks, kissing the top of your head, "I'll get you a ticket."

"I don't know if that's really my scene," you shrug, twisting in his hold to face him, "I'm not like -- I'm not cool and underground like that." "So?" he quirks his brow, "You can be cool and underground for one night to hang out with your hottie rockstar boy-toy."

"That's so gross that you described yourself that way," you laugh, pushing out of his hug and opening your sandwhich, "Like, so cringey, babe." "Babe," he repeats back to you, "I like that. You can call me 'babe' whenever you want." "Duly noted," you agree, teeth sinking into the bread of the roll and breaking into the warm and gooey center. The jumble in your stomach starting to fade away while the grease of the egg soothes it. Eddie takes his sandwhich and coffee to the living room, taking his phone off the coffee table to open up his text conversation with Steve:

she called me babe.

i literally can't even breathe right now.

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fluff #older!eddie munson #older!eddie #older!steve harrington #stranger things au #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic

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lilystyles · 11 months ago

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gingerbread at midnight.

part one of the sweetest thing series by @lilystyles

the sweetest thing masterlist & my main masterlist xxx

authors note did somebody say christmas fic szn??? if there is two things people know about me it is that i love christmas and i love harry styles. so here u go!

brief description during a chilly evening at the bakery, harry learns how to make gingerbread.

warnings! fluffy christmas baking including niall :) (4.3k words)

grumpy!roommate!journalist!H x sunshine!baker!roommate!reader

* * * * *

It was a snowy December evening and Harry finished work early for a change. Being a busy journalist who worked for one of the biggest media companies in the world, he never finished before the sun went down. Even before he’d been promoted to his high position now, and he was just some young fresh-faced Uni graduate assistant who rarely saw the light of day. Waking up early and finishing late. He was always running off much less sleep than your average person, and even when he was at home he was busily typing away on his laptop. But despite his strenuous hours and stressful workload, he loved his job a lot, and openly admitted he was a workaholic.

This was why he needed a roommate. He worried for his sweet girl while he was away during the evenings.

At first, he couldn’t think of anything worse, he’d had roommates in Uni who literally made him want to pull his (gorgeous) hair out and swore to himself he’d never do anything like that again if he could avoid it. It wasn’t that his job didn’t pay well, in fact, he was very wealthy and he could’ve gotten a sitter for the days but it just didn’t seem practical to have a sitter every day for the rest of his life. And no, his sweet girl was not a partner to crawl into bed with during the evenings, or a child who needed his attention throughout the day.

His sweet girl was his spotted Dalmatian named Peaches, who got lonely during the long nights he’d stay at the office.

Y/n had been the perfect candidate for a roommate. Who he had met through a mutual friend Niall, they went to school together apparently and Niall worked with her now. He vouched that she was easy to live with. There had been a period of time when he had nowhere to go and Y/n let him live rent-free in her flat for a month until he could afford to get back on his feet. She was stupidly kind and generous, sometimes to a fault, but if you had the privilege of her friendship you were so lucky. When Niall explained to Harry what a good person she was Harry believed him. Niall had this great ability to see people’s true intentions, and when he looked at Y/n he saw a beacon of light coloured like spun gold.

Y/n worked for most of the week too, sometimes on weekends if they needed extra hands or she felt like going in, but her hours were flexible despite being a baker, which was unusual for her occupation. But she had a good group of workers who all loved their jobs even if it wasn’t exactly high-paying to work for her, which meant Y/n’s day-to-day life was pretty breezy. And during Harry’s hunt for roommates when Niall mentioned that this friend looking for an apartment with roommates happened to be a girl he was happy, because girls were usually clean and smelt good. Y/n very much smelt good and left a warm touch to the once cold large apartment. Quickly after she started living there, suddenly vases of flowers appeared everywhere, paintings were strung up on his grey walls, hand-knitted rugs found their way onto the couch, food was baking in his oven and Y/n’s contagious warmth filled every room. Harry had grown up with just his mum and sister and there was something he liked about having a feminine touch that made it feel homely. He liked how soft, caring, and gentle they were. Y/n was so sweet, whenever he had a bad day she made a tea and let him complain for however long he needed. And she and Peaches got on great, Y/n took her for long walks in the park near their flat and sometimes she even took Peaches into her work and the gorgeous pup would just sit in the front greeting customers.

The tires of Harry’s car rolled against the snow as he steadily drove through the busy middle of the city to the familiar route of Y/n’s bakery. She’d ran it for a couple of years now, having bought it fresh out of culinary school. It used to be a bookshop that was owned by a lady called Miss Green, now it was called ‘Sweets & Things’ and very successful with all the locals. Before they’d became roommates and he’d even known of her existence Harry remembers eating a particularly delicious danish pastry with blueberries in it, funny that a few years later his roommate made him fresh ones when he’d had a particularly rough day at work.

During the Christmas season the little bakery picked up a lot more. Y/n found herself catering for lots more events starting from October and she didn’t know why but people seemed to need more sweets around this time of year. Halloween needed lots of cookies and sweets, but something about Christmas drove her sales right up. Maybe it was what got them through the bleak winter weather. And since Harry knew she’d been a bit stressed by it all lately, not that she would ever complain that wasn’t her way because she loved her job and was grateful to live out her dreams, he thought it might be nice to drop her some dinner since she’d been neglecting proper meals during the work week.

He picked up some takeaway from this little mexican place near his office, Niall had raved about it a few times now, he got an array of food from the menu and asked what they thought was best. Now he had three big bags of spicy smelling goodness heating up his backseats. He knew that Niall and Y/n would be eternally grateful and Harry wouldn’t mind eating with their company tonight. He forgot not everyone ate takeaway at their desk in the pitch black like he did.

His car pulled up out the front of Sweets & Things and he saw the golden bright lights were still on in the front area of the bakery, but no one was behind the counter manning for costumers. Snow littered the grass and concrete out the front, all the benches people sat at were caked in a thick layer of white and Harry shivered at the sight of outside. His office heaters were broken so he was actually always sweating, no matter the season.

He parked his car lethargically and the sound of Fleetwood Mac cut off with the engine. He knew that the bakery stayed open until nine during the holiday season since Y/n had been working much later than normal and he’d asked about it, Harry checked his watch, and there was a little bit until they would shut down but it didn’t seem all that busy. And his friends deserved to eat after all.

He locked the car and walked along the path shivering and hugging the food to his body in attempt to warm himself up. He wiped his dress shoes against the welcome mat as he pushed the door with his broad shoulder, his dress shoes clicking on the tiles as he entered the bell above the door rang and he heard Y/n’s soft sweet laugh from behind the counter and footsteps. A warmth wrapped around his body and the smell of sweet baking and pastries filled his nose.

The shelves with glass casing showed to be practically empty of sweets. This made him smile. Y/n always felt particulary chirpy when people liked her new creations of the week.

He felt his face start to warm up now and he sighed to himself.

“Hello! Welcome to Sweet & Things, what can I get y—” Y/n’s voice began in her usual script to customers stopping when she saw him, “Oh, Harry! What are you doing here?!”

She rushed around the counter to come give him a cuddle in greeting. That was something about Y/n that took him a while to get used to, she was very physically affectionate. He opened his arms for her and held her happily.

She looked cute as ever. Dressed in an apron that was covered in all sorts of powder and a little pink blouse that hugged her figure, paired with her favourite well-loved Levi’s, her shoes were these dark pink boots that made little clicks on the tiles. She looked beautiful, despite the fact she was running off less sleep than usual, she’d been here since the early morning and was probably very tired by now. Her hair was up in a messy bun that she’d thrown back with a pen and her face was bare of much makeup today. She was just in some lip balm that he could smell was strawberry-scented.

She pulled back from his warm arms and smiled up at him as if she hadn’t seen him weeks when in reality he’d driven her to work that morning. They carpooled and in the evening she’d either walk or catch the bus but usually Niall offered her a lift home.

“I just thought I’d bring you and Niel dinner, it’s from that Flaming Green Jose’s place he was talking about.” He said showing the bags of food.

Y/n smiled this really big grin that Harry loved to make appear on her precious face.

Y/n knew Harry was a bit of a grumpy old bastard sometimes, he tended to complain and not like new ideas, but he really was the sweetest thing underneath his stern face and scary resting stare. He was a sweetheart underneath it all. Even though he was so intimidating and tall Y/n always thought he was quite delicate looking. He looked pretty even under the harsh light of the front room, he was in one of his usual business outfits he wore to the office that made him look especially good. Today’s suit was all black and he had a big beige-brown coat over the top to keep him warm in the cold and this deep dark crimson scarf that Y/n had bought him when she noticed he had no scarfs, he said how much he liked her purple one day it was so soft he said and she decided then he needed one too. His long curls of brown hair were dusted in snow and messier now that it was the end of the day. She was sure it was from running his hands through it, he did that a lot when he was concentrating or thinking.

She rushed forward hugged him again with a big squeeze and kissed his cheek in thanks, he smelt so addicting and her head was the perfect height to smell his clothes that smelt like he always did. Like tobacco, vanilla, and his citrusy and woodsy shampoo.

“Well aren’t you just a doll?” She said with a smile.

Harry couldn’t help but smile back at her looking down at her as a dimple formed in his normally stoic face. She pulled away from him hand still holding his bicep as she examined all the bags in his hands. Even though he dressed very formal always, he still had his touch on things, like his rings. Harry always wore dozens of amazing large rings, and nail polish too. Y/n had conviced him a few evenings ago to choose this nice lavender colour rather than his normal black. He said he would only if she would match him. So her nails were littered in that same colour and she was reminded of him whenever she looked at the chipping colour while she was kneading dough. And underneath those long shirts and pants were so many inked pieces of skin, that suited him more than you’d think.

Y/n loved when, usually on Sundays which were his day off, he was sat at home in just some pyjamas that showed all the ink and she could ask him the stories behind each while they did laundry. She liked him in suits of course, there was something very attractive about it, but she liked him all cosy and casual too. He barely ever dressed that way, only at home. She felt lucky to see him that way.

She snapped herself out of her daydreams about his gorgeous hands and that cross tattoo she loved when her tummy rumbled hungrily at the smell of the delicious dinner.

“Niall! Harry brought us dinner!” She called out and Niall stepped out of the kitchen. He looked similar to Y/n, dressed casual too, because she didn’t think uniforms suited her place. The shorter man was in a pair of his own baggy jeans and this brown knitted jumper and a pair of ratty old sneakers. His bleach blonde hair was in messy spikes and he had a pair of glasses on today instead of contacts.

“Haz, is that Flaming Green Jose’s?” Niall asked instantly without even greeting him properly as he walked over to sniff and grab at the bags.

Harry nodded lifting the bags in show, the green plastic was printed in the familiar taco on fire logo that proved it was in fact Flaming Green Jose’s.

Niall practically drooled and looked up at him eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“I could kiss you, mate!” He said, his Irish accent dancing off his tongue.

Harry grimanced at him and handed over the bags. “Please don’t. Just take the tacos.”

Y/n giggled by his side squeezing his arm in her usual way when he said something that made her laugh.

Niall and Harry quickly began to set up the containers of different Mexican dishes while Y/n grabbed some cutlery, cups, and cold water for them all to enjoy their late dinner. The bakery had a few tables for people to sit and enjoy snacks at, and only for one portion of the day did they serve hot drinks, Niall was also a trained barista, which was perfect because she thought coffee suited a lot of her sweets.

The three of them set up their food in one of the booths that was a cherry red leather colour. The snow was falling heavily outside now against the windows and it had started to quiet down out there. Not as many shoppers or people finishing work were wandering around outside as usual. The storm was keeping people, hopefully, rugged up and warm inside.

Y/n dreamily looked outside as she turned the big overhead lights off and switched on just the fairy lights she had strung up for Christmas spirit. They were a nice soft golden orange glow for them to eat.

The three friends enjoyed their dinner quietly as the radio hummed some old jazz Christmas songs, they were all huddled together really close and Y/n leaned into Harry sleepily which he didn’t mind at all. The bakery was warm but Y/n felt chilly now that she was sweating away in the kitchen. Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulder to help warm her as they lazily chewed down their food. Even though he’d stripped himself of his massive coat and scarf he was still rather warm.

Niall was right it was quite good food and a family-run business which was always nice to support. Y/n knew how it hard was to be a little business in the busy city of London.

The three chatted about nothing particularly worth noting, just talking about normal Harry, Y/n, and Niall things and enjoying the food. Harry was very hungry so he’d barely spoken a word just chewing lazily beside Y/n. When all the food was gone and they all felt sufficiently full Y/n kissed Harry’s cheek once more.

“Thanks again for dinner, H.” She said softly eyes drooping, now that’d she been fed she was getting a bit sleepy.

He smiled, a big one for Harry, he was almost showing teeth.

“I know how hard y’guys have been workin’, just wanted to help in some way.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. And it wasn’t too much of a big deal but the fact he’d thought of them when he’d gotten the night off was sweet, he was so busy and he chose to spend some free time helping friends. That hardly matched his scary persona.

This made Y/n’s heart swell and she spoke softly. “Thanks, Haz.”

“Yeah mate, you’re the best.” Chimed Niall wiping his face with a napkin. Niall had devoured his food contently.

Their little dinner together was interrupted by the door swinging open, the bell ringing, and a couple of two walked in.

Y/n stood up, moving from the warmth of Harry.

“Hi! How can I help you?” She said plastering a smile on her face, walking over and tying the back of her apron back on.

The couple ordered a few Christmas cookies decorated like pieces of art and some cream horns that Y/n had made that morning. Y/n handed them their bags took their change and waved goodbye.

“Have a good night!” She chirped to them.

They smiled and waved. “You too, Y/n!”

Y/n came back over and sat down again, looking over to Niall tucking her knees up to her chest. “Is it gingerbread time then, Ni?”

Niall nodded throwing his head back with a sigh.

Gingerbread could be quite tedious. Especially the way Y/n decorated them. She really made them all individual pieces of art just for people to eat them. Which was beautiful, but also very time consuming.

Harry looked over, “I thought gingerbread was quite easy, Y/n makes it so quickly.”

Niall scoffed. “That’s because Y/n’s a machine. But even she can’t do this many cookies alone.”

Harry looked over at the tired pair of bakers and down at his hands. He tried to think of the last time he’d made gingerbread. Must have been with his sister Gemma when they were kids visiting their grandparents. But he thought if he could get an interview with James Hadden (a man who notoriously never answered questions to the media) then he could bake some cookies. How hard could it be?

“Let me help then. Many hands make light work.”

Y/n blinked. “You hate Christmas,” she stated.

He looked over at her. “But I like your Christmas cookies.”

Y/n decided not to fight him on it. “Alright. Niall find him an apron I’ll start setting up.”

Y/n began getting out all the ingredients they’d be needing this way they could each make a batch to save time. She grabbed flour pouring enough into three bowls for each batch, some unsalted butter, brown sugar from the cupboard, some eggs from the fridge, baking soda, milk, and all the spices. As she looked at the array of ingredients laid out on the steel bench she noticed she was missing the most with most important ingredient; golden syrup.

She walked to the stock cupboard and saw the big bottle of golden syrup sitting on the tallest shelf. Adam, a really tall baker, had been working earlier he must’ve put it there. Y/n tried to reach on her tiptoes though it was no use, her fingernails only just grazed it.

When a hand came out from behind her gripping the big can it startled her and she turned to see Harry standing behind her.

“Oh, you scared me,” She giggled.

“Sorry, Love.”

She followed him back out to the kitchen. He placed the big can down on the bench and she took in his form. His long shoulder-length hair was pulled back in a bun now, and he’d taken off his suit jacket and tie, his black shirt was rolled up to his elbows and the buttons on his collar were undone. He had an apron on now too, one of Y/n’s collection, it was pink and frilly with flowers.

Y/n softly explained to Harry the process of making the batter and he was intently listening to her every word watching her through his lashes. Soon enough the dough was perfect and all three of them rolled out the dough the perfect width which meant Harry had to re-roll it. Once Y/n gave a thumbs up of approval they began using the cookie cutter shapes and cutting the cookies out.

Harry had the make hearts and stars, Niall made gingerbread men and women, and Y/n made circles and snowflakes.

Eventually, they put in their first batch, a little after 10. They kept re-rolling the dough and cutting as many as they could until the batches vanished. Harry was very good and gentle with his technique, and some were wonky but Y/n loved that he was helping and it took her years to perfect her cookies so he was doing very well for his first time. She selfishly wanted to keep his batch for them to go home and eat but she didn’t.

By 11 all the batches were cooked or still cooking. Niall was on oven duty and Y/n was teaching Harry how to decorate.

The ginger people were decorated all classic. White iced smiley faces and an outline around their body, little chocolate buttons for the outfits and a pinch of icing sugar to look like snow. Harry tried his best to do them and Y/n loved their imperfections it was like real people; all individual.

The others needed to be painted in colourful swirls of festive landscapes and honestly, they looked like individual paintings. Harry was amazed at her steady hand and ability to decorate such creative and individual designs for each cookie.

“Y’like tha’ bloody Andy Wharol of cookies, Y/n.” He said.

And she giggled her concentrated face cracking to a smile. She looked over at him. “It’s just practice.”

“No, it’s not.” Said Niall, from his station. “I’ve been practising for ages, your baking is just pure talent.”

By midnight the last batch had cooled down and they were all decorating together and Y/n was humming along to the Christmas playlist she had put on.

Niall twirled Y/n around and they sang along goofily. Niall and Y/n had been friends since culanary school which felt like years ago now. They were only teenagers then. All baby-faced and wide-eyed, now they were older and still just as immature when put together. When Y/n opened her bakery and she needed extra hands he was the first person she called.

Niall was her best friend, and Harry had easily become her other one. Even though she was so tired and it was late, and her feet ached. The boys made it better. Niall singing into a spatula and Harry refusing to dance or sing was what kept her going the final stretch. She stopped decorating to go over to Harry, she looped her arms through his waist forcing him to step away from the bench and she tried to make him sway with her.

His body stayed still and she moved closer to the front of him, in hopes of seeing his face.

��C’mon! Dance, Grinch!”

“I don’t even dance when it isn’t Christmas, Y/n.”

She huffed arms crossing, “Please?” she asked, fluttering her eyes best of her ability in hopes of convincing him.

Harry melted at the sight. She was so cute, even Harry couldn’t say no to her. He sighed like it was the most horrible task anyone could’ve asked him and she held out her hand with a smile. He grabbed it and she raised her hand for him to twirl under and he obliged spinning even though he was much taller than her. She leaned in close to him hands landing on his hips as his landed on her shoulders in an embrace while they swayed. She sang softly, and very off-key and Harry just shook his head.

She was like a ray of sunlight, and he was like the moon. She looked up at him, “Thanks for helping,” she said softly.

“Of course….you’ve done way more for me.” He said.

She just shook her head and was about to reply but Niall cut them off.

“I gotta’ get home to Max soon.” Max was Niall’s recent boyfriend.

“Sorry, let’s get back too it.” Y/n said pulling away from Harry.

By almost 1 AM they were finished with every cookie. It was perfect. They would probably all sell out tomorrow. Y/n grabbed two handfuls one for Niall and one for Harry. She wrapped them like she would for costumers. She tied two pink ribbons and handed one to Niall.

“Thank you for all your hard work, Ni, I’ll see you Monday?” He nodded smiling in his easy going way, and pecked her cheek.

“Bye, Pet, see you Monday.” They waved him off and they heard him leave when the bell chimed.

Y/n and Harry turned the lights off and grabbed there things. Y/n put on her layers of clothes. A big red coat, her lavender scarf, and her blue beanie that had a fuzzy ball on top. She grabbed her bags and keys and they locked up the shop.

At least tomorrow both her and Harry had the day off.

The walk to the car was brisk but short, the snow had stopped now and but it was still freezing. The pair stayed close by to one another, trying to keep warm as they walked quickly to the car.

Harry started the car as fast as he could and cranked the heat and while they waited for it warm up they finally tried the few pieces of gingerbread she’d saved for them.

“Y/n this is so fucking good.” He said looking over at her. His hair was back down and he’d put on all his layers too. She smiled.

“All you, H.”

He just shook his head. “You’re the best.”

She looked over blushing. “And you’re the sweetest.”

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deonsx · 1 year ago

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If They Cheat On You Revenge

Part2!

Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Jouno

Content: Cheating Revenge

Not:You have a chance to choose the next story below, don't forget to vote

Dazai Osamu

After that incident, everything became worthless to you. You were afraid that the man you valued more than yourself would betray you and drive you to suicide. How could he do this to you? You were still in the same house because Dazai said that he would leave that house and at least he wouldn't be able to take the house full of memories from you. A week has passed since this incident and now Dazai was only coming home to take his clothes, he was taking his memories at home to erase them more and more day by day

One day you decided to go out. You wanted to give yourself what you needed to get yourself out of this darkness. Of course, you didn't decide to do this alone. Chuuya-san, Osamu's closest partner, heard about your incident and called you

You met and talked for a long time, Chuuya was really interested in you, he was always Dazai and your closest mutual friend, you used to meet, but now the wheels have changed and the man you thought you would marry and live with forever..he touched the skin of a another woman

"Why don't you leave that house, s/o? There's no point in being in a house full of bad memories anymore." When he told you this, you thought he was right and you decided to go home together and collect your belongings. As you were taking your steps towards the house, you saw your door open and heard a woman's voice. "My love, Should I take these too?"

You saw a woman right in front of the door, she was taking your belongings and throwing them away one by one. "How dare you put your hands in my house!" You looked at the woman who quickly dropped the frame in her hand with your shout. You looked at your ex and the woman he cheated on you with. "I-I just.." she try to talk, Chuuya stepped into the house and gave the woman a hard look, "I see you have your eye on my relationship with s/o, chuuya" Osamu was hateful but tried to stay calm, Chuuya just chuckled "Shame on you..you prefer silver to gold, Don't you even dare talk to her”

Chuuya Nakahara

After that day, everything changed. You left the house you lived in to never see his face again. You came across your old friend Osamu. "My my! This beauty? Why does Chuuya leave you alone? Is he still at work like this?" You were in the agency's cafe and suddenly your eyes filled with tears as if it hurt you. When you saw this, the brunette's face became serious. "What's going on, s/o?"

You felt a lump in your throat and you couldn't stop crying. Osamu narrowed his eyes as he gently held your chin and wiped away your tears. "I understand..so he chose another woman over you." Even though you were amazed at his intelligence, you felt very helpless and continued to cry on his chest

You spent your days talking to him and he made you feel good. One day, while you were laughing with Dazai about something, you heard the sound of the door opening behind you, but since your back was turned, you didn't feel the need to look. "So I guess I wasn't the only one who was behind someone back all this time." That familiar voice.. for months. The voice you didn't hear rang in your ear. You were afraid to turn around, but Dazai's voice protected you

"Who is this pathetic man? It's doubtful that you can even talk yet" Dazai grinned and mocked the red haired man "So you've had your eyes on my girlfriend all this time? I should have guessed" Chuuya got angry and the force of gravity covered the surroundings "You're the one who cheated and you're still so daring? Try and Beat me if you dare"

Fyodor Dostoyevski

After everything you've been through, you didn't want the fraud committed on you to go unanswered, so you did the only thing that could hurt your lover... you decided to expose his plans, you took all the documents, messages, records and foiled Fyodor's plans one by one

Fyodor trusted you very much even when he was cheating on you.. you gained his miraculous trust, you took every penny of the money in his bank and gave the crime documents and plans to the Detective agency, that is, his enemies, of course you did not leave it like that, his current biggest enemy "Dazai Osamu, you are finally here" everything in one day you did

You met him in one of the back dark alleys "These documents..why are you giving them to me? What do you want in return" You gave a deep breath and shook your head "the best thing you can give me is Fyodor's collapse Osamu" You grinned and just winked and left, Your phone start ringing after couple hours, you knew this sound, Fyodor Dostoyevsky

You answered your ex's phone with a look of happiness on your face "You..What the hell are you doing s/o?" You heard the tense voice coming from the other end of the phone, seemingly calm but eating at you inside, "What have I done, dear?" The phone hung up on you as soon as you asked this, his next move was obvious, he was coming for you

Finally a black silhouette appeared at the door and opened it quickly "Very rude Fyodor" You spoke to him mockingly "How long have you been on the different side s/o" you squinted your eyes as you looked into his purple irises he still thought he didn't know what he was doing "Ever since my beautiful lover held someone else in his arms"

Nikolai Gogol

Even if you found out that he was cheating on you, you did not want to abort your child, the fruit of your relationship and love. You were very indecisive at first, but now you had a due date and were waiting for the day to come. You did not leave the house during your pregnancy, you were all alone except for your friends who visited you

At the end of 8 months, at the insistence of your friends, they took you to a nice restaurant a few days before the birth to celebrate it in advance. "I can bet that she will look like her aunt!" Your friend said, laughing and looking at the others, Your daughter was going to be your daughter, but she would grow up without a father

"I bet he will look like me the most " You made a bet with your friends and it was a night you had a lot of fun. Your friends offered to take you home, but after a long time you wanted to walk by yourself and now you were walking alone on the street, accompanied by a white street lamp that turned on from time to time, towards your house

“S/o..?” That familiar voice that made you freeze where you were.. you wanted to turn around but at the same time you didn't want to see his face. When his hand touched your shoulder, you quickly backed away. "Don't touch me." When you turned towards him, he looked at your swollen belly. "Is this baby.. our child?" Silence surrounded you, you did not answer him, with the sudden tension, you were about to fall to the ground in pain, Nikolai quickly held you

Your birth had started, Nikolai quickly took you in his arms and brought you to the hospital, and now you had your child in the hospital, whom you had been waiting for 8 months. She looked like his father with white hair and colorful eyes. He looks like his father. There is a Nikolai looking at her longingly, but you were not going to let him touch this child. "Go away." you protected her from his as you hugged him "S/o...please let me love her" he said with his eyes narrowed and his voice trembling "Just the fact that you looked at her is a blessing I gave you, don't come near us again”

Jouno Saigiku

You couldn't believe that the love you had given for years was so simplified. He had been cheating on you for 5 months, and while looking into your eyes, "It's been 5 months, s/o." What he said pierced your heart with a sharp arrow

You quickly slapped him and let your eyes fill with tears "You fucking! How could you do this to me!?" you kept hitting him and your eyes were burning in pain, "Get out of my house right now! GET OUT!" You quickly kicked him out of the house and vowed to end him

You tried to get yourself together for 1-2 days and then you went to your rivals' agency. When you entered, everyone took cover. "I came here to do something important..detectives agency." You gave all the information you could about him. It didn't take long for them to trust you of course, it took them months. A total of 1 year later... Your big plan was ready, finally the agency decided to raid their headquarters and you were going to kill him there

Everyone dispersed as planned and in the end you trapped them all but you did something that wasn't included in the plan and locked you in the same room with him "You are finally here...finally" you spoke as you walked towards him. When he tried to use his ability you quickly drew your sword and caught him at his weakest point..you always knew him. you learned everything and now you were his rival

You put the gun to his head.. But you didn't, you couldn't pull that damn trigger. Your hand shook. In the face of the man you believed would make you happy for the rest of your life.. That person wasn't the person you wanted anymore. "I'm not someone like you, Jouno, I won't kill you like you killed me”

Enjoy!

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tangerinesilk · 1 year ago

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－ I CAN SEE YOU : TANGERINE X FEM!READER

tangerine is going on a solo mission… well, at least he thinks he is. with lemon missing by his side, he’s left with one other option that is supposed to make his job easier. unfortunately for him, you’re not the easiest to work with. stubborn, strong-minded and feisty. you’re both so alike yet nothing has made your bloods boil more than each other.

rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)

warnings ✷ (very quick) smut: fem receiving, kisses all over bodies, a needy but quick hj, p in v, dirty talk, praising, implied rough (consensual) sex / others: cursing, drinking alcohol, mention and use of guns and violence, male hurting female (?) but not between main characters, mentions of blood and wounds.

tropes ✷ enemies to lovers!!!, person a is all talk no bite + person b knows that but still pushes them, playful banter, hiding together in small spaces, fake dating (?), if one is hurt– the other goes a bit crazy, says ‘i dont care’ then cares 5 seconds later.

word count ✷ 6k!

songs that fit the vibe ✷ i can see you - taylor swift | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia + the weeknd | king of my heart - taylor swift | attention - charlie puth | nonsense - sabrina carpenter

a/n ✷ so i made a poll a months ago and this trope + pairing won! i’ve honestly been wanting to write a dave lizewski one as well and got a request idea. so.. we will see lmao. i will probably post then maybe edit later if there's still things i don't like... also, if you couldn't tell but im kind of a swiftie so i will love to write fics inspired by whole ass albums y'all.

but i hope this is what u guys expected and wanted. i actually do love writing for tangerine. just gives into my delulu thoughts. also, if you guys would like a plain pwp fic and not all of this fluff and dialogue stuffed inside, pls let me know bc i am definitely into that idea. 🫡

“You had to go and get yourself shot… then you wonder why you have to wear a bulletproof vest. Fuckin’ hell.”

Tangerine kept his voice at a hushed tone, basically talking under his breath as he strutted through the grand hall of the hotel. Golden light glossed over his figure, passing by couples who were at standing tables with their cocktails.

“Well, Thomas said-”

“Thomas didn’t say shit. Don’t get me fuckin’ started now.”

Lemon already knew Tan was in a bad mood. Another Thomas the Tank Engine factoid wasn’t a playful move right now.

“Hey, mate. Don’t get all fussy wit’ me. You’re just mad about your new partner for the night.” Lemon rolled his eyes.

“Can’t believe I can’t be held accountable of myself. I can handle it on my own but you had to call the fuckin’ princess-”

“She’s good. Your denial is obnoxious, bruv. It’s only a night, you get in and get out.” Lemon replied, holding his wounded side as he laid in his bed back in England, “What happened between you two that you’ve got beef like this?”

“No time to explain nor do I have the patience.” He arrived at the small bar to the side of the room, “If I leave her behind, can I take half the pay that’s supposed to be hers?” Tangerine asked.

“She’s supposed to be wearing a red dress. You’ll see her there… and please don’t cause a scene.” His brother begged.

“No promises.” He replied before hanging up.

Tangerine blows a sigh past his lips, quickly asking for his drink of choice before scanning the mass of people around him. His blue eyes could only search so fast for the man that the hit was called on, causing him an instant frustration when he’s already worried about you ruining things regardless of how long you’re together.

“He’s next to the woman in the tacky gold ballgown… about two feet away from the ice sculpture.” Your soft voice suddenly spoke next to him, “But, I didn’t need to tell you that, right?”

The smirk on your face burned at his nerves and you noticed the clench in his jaw.

“Well, if it isn’t the fuckin’ Queen herself.” He said in a stern tone, “What? Germany was too borin’ for ya? Had to figure out a way to ruin someone’s operation?”

“Lemon is the one who called me in, and it isn’t about you. It’s about the pay out… you’re bound to screw something up with your ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ tactic.” You trailed, rolling your eyes as you turned your head away.

“And I’m certainly not afraid to use that tonight and not your fucked up, painfully long mind games like some fuckin’ psycho thilling killer.” He spat as his drink was place in front of him.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Fuck you.”

“Darling, I’m flattered, but we have more important things to do right now.” He lowly groaned, purposefully looking at his target so his back was facing toward you.

Behind his tall stature, you glimpsed past his shoulder and saw your target chatting up a woman.

He won’t be smiling for long, you thought.

“Alright, I’ll wait for him to slip away, follow him and you go through the kitchen.” Tangerine said under his breath, keeping quiet for only you to hear him.

“To go where?” You ask, walking around him to stand face to face.

“Erm…” He sighed, “Whatever car or vehicle you got here in, drive yourself back to whatever place you’re staying and I’ll figure out how to wire you the money.” He shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.

He took a step but you placed your hand on the center of his chest, “Not so fast. I’m not going down if you make a mess of this.”

“I don’t make messes. Well, actually, I get away with them once I’ve done ‘em so, I don’t need to worry about a liability.” Tangerine smirked, a bit of a tilt to his head. Cheeky bastard.

“The only liability here is the one who is ready to pull the trigger in his back.” You said before huffing, “I’m not sorry for what happened in Paris, but that was my choice. So, I’m going with you because it’s our operation. You know… I don’t need a fucking helping hand either.” You practically growled.

The two of you held a long gaze, creating a tense eye contact before he sighed, “Didn’t even say anythin’ about Paris, but if you’d like to assume I’m still mad ‘bout that, be my guest, princess.”

His shoulder bumped yours, making you clench your jaw before quickly following behind his tall stature. While he seemed persistent, you grabbed his hand which made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor.

He turned, “Am I your babysitter?”

“No, you’re my date. Hold my hand, you idiot.” Your eyes pierced through his.

As he looked down at your hand, he slowly grasped it, your fingers intertwining with one another’s before he proceeded through the glamorous crowd.

Couples swayed and waltzed between each step you took, assuming you were unnoticed by your target. Tangerine kept his eyes on him, easy to with the frosty-white full head of hair he had slicked back. The woman in the tacky dress ran her hand down his shoulder, pressing her lips to his ear to whisper something which made you and Tangerine veer to the side at a standing table.

“Are they movin’?” He asked, facing his back toward them.

Your eyes smoothly shift, taking a quick glance at the assumed couple. You ran your hand down Tangerine’s arm, accidentally feeling how toned his bicep was through the thick fabric of his suit jacket. You almost glanced down, wanting to give another squeeze before clearing your throat. A heat rose on your cheeks as you turned your head to face away from him.

“Y-Yeah, near the bathroom. There’s also a backdoor that leads up to the second floor… lots of private rooms for reasons that are obvious.” You said in a hushed tone, moving away from him to the other side of the table.

“Alright, since you wanna tag along, I’ll follow them and you cover the door.” Tangerine suggested once again.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “You do understand what teamwork is, yes?”

He chuckled, “Yes, I go up there, shoot a few rounds, then we make a getaway.”

“Will you just trust me?”

“Your trust means nothing… I need to know you’re not going to fuck anything up. Just like in Paris.”

You smirked, “So you do have that against me.”

“Well, it’s not like it was your best. Leave me with a shot in the arm, Lemon on the ground and you, little miss greed, get away with your cash. If we all did this job for money, we wouldn’t be riskin’ our lives just runnin’ around killin’ or resucin’ people just for someone’s dime. You obviously do though.”

You narrowed your eyes, “You don’t know me…”

“Nor do you know me so…” He huffed, “Let’s just do what we have to do.”

There was tension between you, as if there was more fo a protective instinct than hate toward one another. You couldn't figure out Tangerine’s deal. Why was he so hostile toward you? Yes, what happened in Paris was fucked up, but he wasn’t the type to hold a grudge. He didn’t take shit from anyone, so why were you getting under his skin?

“Shit!” He grunted under his breath, seeing your target disappear into the hall.

The two of you hurry, yet still try to act casual to not raise eyebrows, and exit into the same hallway. As you push open the door, you hear the two talking in the stairwell before another door closes.

“You got your gun on you?” He asked as his hand slid into the back of his pants.

“Of course.” You scoffed, tearing up the slit in your dress. He saw the small pistol strapped to your thigh, making his mouth a bit dry.

He nodded, “Good…”

Taking a quick breath, Tangerine opened the door. You slipped through and he followed behind, your backs facing one another as you scanned the hallway. It wasn’t narrow but if anyone slipped out of one of the rooms, they were right in your sights.

“I’ll take this one, you take that one.” He whispered, pointing his gun to the opposite door of his.

With your heart in your throat, you slowly crack the door open and don’t see anyone before a body flies from behind and slammed the door open from Tangerine’s side. The woman lied dead on the floor, blood all over his dress, and just as you turned around, a punch slid across your cheek.

Instinctively, you ducked to dodge the second jab and swoop under to get on the other side of the man as Tangerine wrapped his arms around the guy to pull him to the ground.

Tan loudly grunted as he tried to gain control, basically attempting to straddle him in order to push his arm against his neck. Even with all his strength, the man gripped his hands around Tangerine’s arms to throw him off along with trying to push his knee between his crotch.

“Watch the door!” Tan directed to you.

You nodded, catching your breath with your back against the wall by the door. The adrenaline ran through your veins and heard your heartbeat in your ears as one tear of blood dripped down your cheek. The crack of bones made you turn your head, seeing the man’s body go limp as Tan began to stand over him.

He quickly walked over the man, as if he was in the way, and comes to your side.

“He nicked you bad. Lemme see.” Tan said, your eyes meeting his as he held your cheek. The touch of his hand seemed to be some comfort, his thumb wiping the blood away and trying to see how bad the wound was.

“Bastard.” He muttered, “C’mon, let’s go before someone comes up.”

Without a word in, he grabbed your hand and dragged you behind his lead. You two headed for the exit door down the other side of the hall as you heard footsteps rumble from the other stairs you came up.

“Wait a minute.” Tan said, fiddling with his belt buckle.

Your eyes widen, “What on earth are you doing?”

He smirked, “Relax, darling. You flatter yourself too much.”

You rolled your eyes as the sound of his belt slid against the fabric of his belt loops before curling the leather strap around the door to keep it locked. The two of you fled down the stairs and suddenly found yourselves in the kitchen area. A few eyes followed as you both ran through, very obvious that you were running from something, but still aimed to get to some kind of exit.

With sudden luck, Tangerine saw his car across the street, instantly knowing which way he was supposed to go. Without skipping a beat, he grabbed your hand once more and the two of you ran across the street. Hopping into the passenger seat and Tan taking off was like a blur, just happening in seconds.

“Y/N?” Tan saying your name woke you from your trance.

“Huh?” You asked, shaking your head.

He quickly turned his head, “You alright?” He said with concern, one hand on the steering wheel and his foot easing off the gas.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay. I don’t know what happened back there.” You trailed, a bit embarrassed. You were never one to let your guard down, well– enough to get hit right smack in the face.

“Are you sure?”

You turned your attention to him, “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” You asked rhetorically.

“‘Cause of that big cut on your cheek.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Alright, what’s your big plan now, Einstein? Were just going to sleep in your car and hope we don’t wake up decapitated?”

He half-chuckled, “You truly think so little of me, don’t you?”

“Is that rhetorical?”

Tan rolled his blue eyes, “We’re goin’ somewhere safe.”

– – –

You wanted to believe you were strolling into some kind of trap. The lobby had a classic aesthetic to it, pale gold wallpaper and a wall of keys behind the person at the small front desk. You two placed your go-bags on the red carpeted ground as Tangerine checked into a room.

“Hello Mr. Tangerine.”

Oh, great. He’s some guest of honor here.

“‘Ello, Colin. My usual room.”

“Is that what you say in front of all the girls?” You tilted your head, standing behind him.

He rolled his eyes, “‘Cuse her.”

The man chuckled, crinkles by his eyes, “How many nights are you staying this time?”

This time. You could scoff out loud but you didn’t want to hear the tude from him.

“Just overnight. Nothin’ too serious.”

“Well, enjoy your stay, as always.” The man nodded before Tangerine thanked him.

The two of you head toward the old elevator, watching him quickly press the up button before you stand by his side. You half chuckled, “I’ve never seen you act so kindly toward anyone, tell me, does he see you bring girls through here all the time or-”

“Has anyone ever told you to shut your pie hole?”

“Hmm, not verbally. But, those eyes of your say enough for me… you’re too predictable, sometimes, Tan.”

He gave you a lingering look as the door opened, passing him into the elevator. The two of you make your way to the fifth floor and the hall is eerily quite for a hotel full of private contractors and assassins. You had your hands behind your back then patiently waited for Tangerine to jiggle the key into the lock, opening a door to a huge room with a surprisingly wide view.

“You’d think the curtains were closed.” You muttered as he walked over, closing them anyways.

Suddenly, he stripped from his suit jacket and you couldn’t help but see how tight his button up was around his biceps and chest.

“Did you get that a size too small?” You ask as you chunk your heels into the corner.

“Well, I certainly can’t kill fuckin’ bloaks wearing baggy clothes now.”

“But, you can in a three piece suit?” You cocked your eyebrow.

He licked his lips, “As if your dress is a flexible material.” Tangerine said as he pulled his rings off, placing them on the night stand.

“I can say the same for your pants.”

Tangerine wanted to look down but didn’t give into your comment. You place your bag down on the bed, grabbing your silk pajamas nearly folded on top and changed in the bathroom.

“God, just go to bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” You somewhat groaned.

You sit on the top of the bed, unfolding the duvet before shoving it off to get underneath them.

Tangerine paused, “What the fuck do you you’re doin’?”

You furrowed your eyebrow, “This thing called going to sleep. Try it sometime, you’d be less grouchy.”

He rolled his eyes, “I know that, smartass, I mean what’re you doin’ in the bed that I’m goin’ to be sleepin’ in too?”

You rolled over, putting your weight on your elbows, “I know you’re dramatic but this takes the cake for top performances.”

He faked a laugh, “If you don’t get your ass out of that bed in two seconds, I’ll throw you in the tub with a pillow.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to. Fine, do it.” You said before laying flat into the mattress, staring straight at the ceiling.

He didn’t care for your equal amount of sarcasm, but he just gave you a cocked eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I’d rather sleep on the floor anyways.” He said, stretching his arms up and behind his head. Your eyes quickly admired his muscles before turning back.

“Be my guest, princess.” You scoffed, slipping on your pajama shorts, “I’ll enjoy my big comfy bed.”

You pulled the heavy duvet over your waist, curling up with the dense pillow beneath your head.

Tangerine stood there, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched you roll on your side. He tilted his head back before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on the desk chair. Although your eyes were closed, his side of the bed sunk in and you tried to hold back your smile at his faded stubbornness.

With your backs facing one another, you two just listened to the silence of the city. It gave you a moment to think of Paris– the last time you were with one another or much rather supposed to be against each other. You were a double agent, not exactly proud of it but you let greed take over your motivated justice.

Having to scam Lemon and Tangerine wasn’t your finest hour either, you thought about it for months and finally coming face to face with Tangerine (out of the two, he wasn’t the one you would want to bump into again), all the guilt came rushing back like the snap of an elastic band.

– – –

The morning sun runs through the thin silk of the curtains, shining over your bodies in the bed. You wake up to the sound of light snoring, happy that you could sleep through it, and Tangerine in a deep slumber with his arm over the bed. He suddenly looked like innocence, so soft and tender, simply laying there like it was any other day.

You sit up, putting your hair out of your face then head to the bathroom. When you turn the light on, you’re almost surprised to see your reflection. Forgetting about the scar against your cheek, you look more rough around the edges. You sigh as you run your fingers over it, remembering the way Tangerine did last night.

After washing up, you go back out and Tangerine is now standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Your eyes quickly shift up his body, admiring the tattoos in their random places and how the band of his briefs rest on his hips. You sealed your lips from smiling at how sharp his v-line was accompanied by the happy trail disappearing into his pants.

“Sleep good with that stick in your ass?” You retort, passing him.

He rolled his eyes, “...You’re annoying, ya know that?”

“Oh, you’ve made that clear.” You mocked him as you closed the curtains more, “That’s why I love to do it.”

Tangerine flicked on the lamp, giving the room a warm glow.

“Alright, I say we lay low today. Better to be out of sight and–”

You cut him off, “Stuck in this room together?... are you trying to kill me t–”

He then put his hand over your mouth, looking deep into your eyes, “Yes, stuck in this room where we can keep an eye on each other and you can’t screw me over again.”

Your heart stopped for a split second, as if he couldn’t have been more of the controlling one. He took his hand away and you gulped, “Yep. Fine. Fair.”

Tangerine pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before you go to your bag in the chair that’s pushed in the corner of the room. You slightly bend over to look inside your duffle and his icy eyes can’t help but look up the back of your thighs and straight at your ass and lower back. How he could easily put his hands on your hips and make you hold onto something.

He shook his head, feeling like he was coming down with something to even imagine that thought.

You pulled out an old novel and sat yourself back on the bed, hoping that the hours would pass as you sank further into the broken-in mattress.

Tangerine sat down in the chair nudged into the corner, adjacent from your view, and he pulled out his gun that was conveniently tucked into the back of his pants.

“Are you actually holding me hostage?” You furrowed your brows, but didn’t take your eyes from your sentence.

“Whatever fantasy you’d like you believe.” He trailed, opening his gun and emptying his rounds into his palm.

– – –

Suddenly, you leaped out of a deep sleep. Your book laid open on your stomach while an extra pillow was between your legs. Your eyes fluttered open, thinking the past few days has been a dream, until you noticed Tangerine wasn’t sitting in the chair. You quickly looked around before hearing the bathroom door open and he stepped out, shirtless and in new dark slacks that rested on his hips.

Your mouth became dry. How could you dislike him so much yet here you are, ready to jump his bones as he crossed the room.

“What are you getting dressed for?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.

He half-chuckled at your groggy voice, “I want a drink.”

“Oh, like you’re not just going to abandon me here like I did you?... Where you go, I go.” You warned him.

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“A bit hypocritical coming from you.”

Tangerine just ignored your smart comment and opened the door, letting you through first before he followed. His eyes, once again, trace your lower back and trailed down your legs. His cheeks flushed pink as he quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he caught up to you so you two were walking side by side.

You pushed the faded down button as you pushed a big breath past your lips. Tangerine put his back against the wall and crossed his arms, his muscles basically restraining in his light button up. As you turned around, you rolled your eyes– but not at him, just at yourself. How could you have any little feeling for someone who also annoyed you to your core?

He took your silence as a bit of a tease. To be fair, you two didn’t really know one another. You met once before and then you simply betrayed him. Quickly, you were dead to him, but now you’re forced to be together and it raised an important question to himself too. Why was he helping someone who obviously can’t be trusted?

Tangerine furrowed his eyebrows at that thought, knowing he would have thrown you to the wolves last night after you closed your eyes. He played with his watch a bit before the elevator dinged and caught both of your attentions.

After entering, the low-sounding shifting mechanics of the elevator were the only sounds between you two. You heard Tangerine sniffle, seeing him stretch his neck out of the corner of your eye, but you kept a straight view to the doors. While Tangerine thought you were continuing to give him the silent treatment, you were lost in your own thoughts of the past.

You flashbacked to your last night in Paris together, and remembered how the guilt creeped up on you knowing that, in a few hours, you’d have to betray both Lemon and Tangerine. Before knowing them, you didn’t care, but now that you’ve realized how hard you were falling for Tan, it felt like a double edged sword. If you didn’t do it, maybe you could stay with him– have a life together. But, if you went through with your selfish heist, you’d lose the guy who made you comfortable with being vulnerable after a long time.

Obviously, you regretted your decision.

“Is this what you want?” You simply asked.

Tangerine quickly turned his head, “What?”

You rolled your eyes before facing his direction, “This.” You gestured between the two of you, “The weird animosity and constantly arguing and nit-picking?”

He never thought you’d be so bold to point it out, “I mean, we don’t like each other. Simple, isn’t it?”

“I guess…” You trailed, facing back toward the doors.

Tangerine licked his lips, wondering if he should utter the words on his tongue.

“...But, that doesn’t mean we can’t start over.”

You looked over your shoulder once more before turning around to him, “You mean that?”

He arched his eyebrow, “Should I regret it now?”

Just as the elevator dinged, the doors slowly opened and the hotel lobby appeared empty. You smirked to yourself, “Why don’t we catch up over that drink, huh?” You sort of teased– not sure if it had purpose.

– – –

Your drink tasted smooth, easily trailing down your throat as you leaned your head back to finish off the rest of the liquor in your glass. Once you tilted your head back straight, you were met with Tangerine’s signature eyebrow arch.

“Don’t worry, I’m paying for my own drinks.” You sighed, placing your glass back down on the wooden table top.

“As long as I don’t got to carry you back up to the room.” He sighed, sounding more defeated than witty, then his blue eyes glanced down then back into your eyes.

You hummed, running your finger along the rim of the empty glass.

“‘right so, what’ve you been doin’ since we last…” He cleared his throat, “saw one other?”

You crossed your leg over the other, “Not much. Actually, it’s the first time I’ve been out for a while. After leaving you guys, I laid low in Tuscany.”

“For how long?”

You shrugged, “Five months? I was on the countryside and I wanted to be alone…” then, you smirked, “I heard that you were in Kyoto.”

Tangerine could chuckle about it now, “For a bit. Had a job to do for some psychotic, fucked up family. The dad called in us, they were all turin’ on each other. Whole fuckin’ thing…”

“As in…” You trailed, “Against one another? The whole family?”

He just nodded before taking a sip of his drink.

You raised your eyebrows, “Wow… and you got out with no bruises or cuts? Bullet holes?”

Tangerine licked his lips before he presented the side of his neck, lighter skin over his tanner tone to show the scar. You carefully reached out, brushing your fingers against it which made a tingle go up his spine. You sit back down as he turned back in his chair, and he seemed to tense up.

“Amazing you survived it.” You sealed your lips.

He crossed his arms, “I supposed…”

A comfortable silent fell between you, the light, jazz music playing at a low, and Tangerine’s eyes trailed up the side of your bare leg. He didn’t mean to stare this much, but he felt more vulnerable than usual. One thing you knew is that Tangerine was a layered person, you had to take time to get to the center of him and realize he’s not so cold once you get to know him.

“Five months in Tuscany, I bet that was lovely.”

“Not really. I isolated the whole time… I wanted to be by myself, but I felt bad about what happened… what I did in Paris.” You admitted, but didn’t look into his eyes, fearing that he would turn on you in a second.

Tangerine sighed, “You had to do your job, we did ours… that’s ‘bout all that can be said.”

Assuming from the lack of eye contact and his tone, he seemed hurt too. You could easily let it boost your ego, but, you actually felt a relief. This hatred you’ve held against each other has finally come down and even though it wasn’t actually said, both of you can feel hostility leave the room.

You bit the inside of your cheek, “Remember, we’re starting over. Clean slate. I hope I’m making a good impression so far.” You raised your eyebrows, lifting your glass again just to drink the mixture of watered down liquor.

He chuckled, “You’re just lovely.”

The comment made your face get hot. You blame the accent and how it can just get under your skin.

“I don’t think you’ve ever called me something so nice.”

Tangerine smirked, “Funny since we’ve just met, darling.”

Darling.

It was the first time you heard it as a term of endearment then pure spite.

You rolled your eyes, but you could humor that Tangerine was going along with it. This new cheeky side of him was something you didn’t think existed– maybe it was the liquor talking, but you hoped it wasn’t just that simple.

“So, what brings you here?” You continued to tease, placing your elbows on the table, “Business… or pleasure?” Your hand laid on top of his, brushing your fingertips along the chunky rings that perfectly fit his fingers.

Multiples thoughts sounded through both your minds.

“Maybe it’s the liquor.” “Maybe we’re a little over our heads.” “Maybe we’re bored.”

But, Tangerine held your hand on top of the table, gently holding it as his thumb grazes over your knuckles.

“Depends…” He trailed, now leaning in too, “What are you here for?”

– – –

In just a few minutes, you two were back in the room you felt trapped in for hours.

Tangerine pressed your back against the wall, a tingle running up your spine from the coolness of the wallpaper. Your lips pressed together over and over, tilting your head before biting his bottom lip. He effortlessly lifted you up with his hand under the back of your thighs, and your ankles meet around his back.

He needed so bad, desperate even… and the feeling was mutual.

He put you down on your feet again, pressing a kiss against your scarred cheek then another on your jaw. His light kisses run down the middle of your breasts as his hand lifted up the end of your skirt. You pushed your hips out as your back was against the wall still, watching him pull down your panties in an instant. You kick them to the side and Tangerine placed your leg over his shoulder, kisses along your inner thigh and your hand ran through the front of his curls.

Suddenly, his tongue ran over your swollen clit before sucking on it. With one hand in his hair, the other caressing your breast and running your thumb over your nipple.

Tangerine panted, moving his hand against your pussy lips. He pushed them apart, showing your tight hole and how you clench around nothing. He lowly groaned, running his fingers over your clit before sliding his two fingers into your pussy. You bite your bottom lip to hold back the moan stuck in your throat, watching him suck your clit and finger you at the same time.

Just as your climax neared, he felt your cunt tighten around his fingers. He couldn’t end it like this so, he took them away. You let your leg down, watching him come back up and tower over you.

“If I’m goin’ to make you cum…” He sighed, “I’m gonna be deep inside you when you fucking crumble.” He said so low before pressing his fingers against your tongue, and you tasted yourself.

You pulled his hand back, running your thumbs over his tattooed hand.

“Not if I make you cum first.” You trailed, moving his hand down so you could kiss him.

He could drop to his knees in an instant, but Tangerine surprisingly kept his composure.

You smirked as you pushed him toward the bed, the back of his knees hitting it to make him sit down. As you stood in front of him, he leaned on his elbows as he watched your dress drop to the floor. It pooled at your ankles and when his eyes shifted back up, so glossed over, your bare body was the center of his attention.

“Hmm, I don’t think you’ll last.” You taunted.

As much as he could snap back, you straddled him and pulled apart his tightly buttoned shirt. Your hands ran over his toned and tatted chest before reaching down to his pants, unzipping the fly and he shuffled a bit to shift them off his hips. His cock was hard, restrained from his boxers and you felt flattered.

You giggled, leaning forward to share a slow kiss with him. Your bare pussy rubbed against his cock as you moved closer to him. A low groan mumbled between your makeout, and you pushed him back so you two both fell on the bed.

Your hands pressed into each side of the mattress, gaining strength to help yourself grind against his hard. His big hands tightly held your hips as you continued your smooth momentum, whimpering at your clit being rubbed by your harsh grind.

As heat rose in the room, your right hand dipped between the two of you, and ran over his hard cock once more. Tan’s lips now desperately met your jaw before taking a light bite at your neck. The feeling of your hand caressing through his boxers could make him release right there.

Becoming more impatient, you finally pushed your hand into the band of his boxers and he once more moved his hips to shift out of them.

“Fuck, your cock is so big… can barely hold it with my hand. God, I want you to stretch me out…” You moaned, “Is that okay?”

You purposefully let him believe that he was in charge, and you were falling into the submissive role. Tangerine gained a bit of confidence from your desperate comments, and he sat more up on the bed.

“Fucking christ…” Is all he could say.

He moved the swollen and red tip against your wet slit, also aching and needing your walls to wrap around him now. At first there was pressure, pushing the tip inside your hole then slowly guiding your hips down to completely take in every inch of his cock.

Once he bottomed out, your body lightly shook as your lips brushed against his. He was fully inside you, the tight and warm feeling making him wither beneath you.

Tangerine moved his hand, kissing your shoulder, “God, you feel like fuckin’ heaven.”

“Don’t stop. Please…” You huffed.

– – –

Then, it was morning.

The rising sun peaked through the small split of the curtains. As you tried to shift, your body ached throughout every muscle. A small groan left your lips, but you were pulled back by a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

It snapped you back into reality. Last night really happened… and you were okay with that.

Tangerine’s tattooed arm unconsciously tightened around you, holding you close still as he still slept behind you. You barely look over your shoulder and saw his face, his eyes still shut and his curls looked wild.

You faintly smile as you turn around to face him, and that’s what woke him up. He pulled his arms back and rubbed his eyes from the brightness of the sun coming in. You run your finger along a curl on his forehead, pushing it to the top of his head and your heart melted from the sight of those blue eyes.

“Did last night really happen?” You mumbled, but with a faint smile on your lips.

He placed his hand gently on your cheek, caressing his thumb against your jaw.

“I think the real question is…” He trailed, “Do we stay another night or go back to pretending to not know each other's existences?”

You bit your bottom lip, lightly giggling, “I think we pick secret option three and go somewhere else. Get away for a while… see where this is going. Don’t you?”

Just at that moment, Tangerine’s phone vibrated in his pants that were on the floor next to the bed. He turned over on his other side, reaching down to pull it out and reading a text Lemon just sent.

“Got a call about a job in Budapest. Are you in or overstaying your weekend?”

Tangerine smirked at himself, then felt your lips press against his neck. You placed another kiss on his shoulder, leaving a tender love bite before he turned back around to kiss you. Maybe it was the natural thrill of the chase, but you loved the not knowing.

Whatever was next, you could only hope that he kept it interesting.

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine x y/n #tangerine x you #tangerine fic

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utilitycaster · 6 months ago

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no d20 spoilers here since i know you know the gist of the drama but the fact that both kipperlilly (and the ratgrinders as a whole) and laudna are sending the their respective fandoms into meltdowns is FASCINATING to me!!! Especially happening at roughly the same time

I am now officially caught up and. not to brag but, called it re: the Rat Grinders, huh, except it's even more stupid. Like. The "but they're literally minors?" argument sort of falls apart given that they're the same age as the Bad Kids, and are actively trying to kill them, the "but redemption" argument doesn't mean shit since at no point did they make any forays towards redemption and indeed sicced a bunch of dragons on the Bad Kids, and so we're left with nothing but an impotent desire to not have a sick-ass battle in the finale of a D20 Campaign. And, perhaps, an uncomfortable realization that they are not unlike the Rat Grinders and the narrative said "lmao yeah you suck".

Laudna's shit? not that different actually. Like there's a lot of reasons why the arguments defending her are bullshit but the biggest one is that the "Laudna has never done anything wrong ever in her life and Imogen is her tether" crowd have painted themselves into a delightfully tiny little corner and they can't hide it anymore. Like, okay, so, is Laudna in control of her actions? Because if so she just attacked Orym in the middle of the night. Is she not? Because if so why hasn't she made the efforts that Chetney and FCG and Imogen (at least sometimes) did to address that? If the issue is trauma why is hers more valid than that of others? If it's abuse tell me how you feel about Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Percy? Why is Orym shutting down the conversation when he says the Vanguard killed his family but Laudna's not doing the same when she tells Ashton not to speak to her of loneliness and Chetney not to speak to her of loss when she doesn't have a monopoly on either?

Why is it Bells Hells' job to endlessly accomodate Laudna and why are so many people suddenly talking about Bells Hells as an abstract 7-headed entity that didn't deal with Laudna's problems when those same people (if they were around at the time of the gnarlrock airing, and many of them weren't) were like "NO THEY SHOULD MAKE UP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND IMOGEN IS A BITCH BECAUSE LAUDNA DIDN'T MEAN IT." Why wasn't it an issue for them when Laudna's ranting about her time in Issylra and how hard it was got shut down by Imogen kissing her because that's why it didn't stay in the spotlight. Why wasn't it an issue for them when Imogen said "if you need her, that's my answer"? Why is it Orym or "Bells Hells" in the abstract who never spent time on Laudna's trauma after months if not years of throwing a fit any time someone (often me) (not always though) pointed out how much Imogen and Laudna were shoving under the rug and not dealing with? What does it say that you can't even expect Laudna's partner to be the one supporting her through this- it has to be Orym? Why doesn't Laudna have any responsibility here? At minimum she could have spoken up about the sword at at least two if not three junctures and she didn't.

There's a lot of things I hold in contempt, and after the obvious things like bigotry, two I really detest are hypocrisy and dereliction of responsibility. It's been extremely telling with both the D20 and CR discourse that people do not like seeing the story and the fandom say "hey actually you need to take responsibility for your actions, you only get redemption if you work for it, and if you leave a room hoping someone will follow you without saying that's what you want? Don't be surprised if no one does." The reason everyone was preparing to stop Laudna was because she was, in every action and decision, showing herself to be a person in need of being stopped. Can you describe this perfect balance of gentleness in which she's never pushed too hard but she does talk about her trauma and work through it and in doing so leaves Delilah? Have you demanded any other member of Bells Hells be granted that same gentleness and patience and kindness or do you think Orym should get over his grief because it's inconvenient to your arguments.

Just as the Rat Grinders show the narrative saying "being an entitled, resentful, jealous person who hurts others from jealousy makes you an easy tool to be manipulated into cruelty and you need to deal with that," I think Laudna shows the narrative (and certainly the fandom) saying "you do have an obligation to deal with your trauma, especially if it causes you to hurt others, and you can ask for help but you can't just sit on your ass waiting for someone else to initiate the process for you" as well as "if you do hurt people because of your trauma they may be angry with you, this may shape how they see you, and they are justified in that because you hurt them" and I think people in both fandoms hate being told that because I think a lot of the people sparking the discourse really do think that you can shield yourself from criticism over your hurtful actions by claiming trauma or neurodivergence or mental illness or whatever and it's like, no, you do still suck, you just also had sucky things happen to you as well.

#answered #Anonymous #cr spoilers #fhjy spoilers

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theficpusher · 1 month ago

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They Just Don't Know You by mukeandziamgotmelike | nr | 1306 //So, oh, tell me, tell me you won't break my heart. That you won't tear my world apart. That you'll be there when I need, cause I wanna tell them they just don't know you, they just don't know you, they just don't know you, they don't know you like I do.// -OR- Liam has been dating Zayn for months, and still, for some reason, no one approves of him. It's annoying, and Liam wishes they would stop. He doesn't know why they don't trust Zayn, but he just wants to tell them that they just don't know him like he does.

Screaming But Daddy I Love Him by Wishingforloushair | E | 21873 Harry has always tried to be the perfect Christian boy his religiously fanatic mother demands him to be. At seventeen he's never eaten fast food, drunk coffee (unless it was decaffeinated) or touched himself. That is until he meets Louis, one of the church's youth musicians. With his 'I Heart Jesus' stickers on his beaten up guitar case, his band (The Redemption Riffs), and his taste for good quality coffee, Louis' relationship with God is entirely different to Harry's, and Harry is positive that Louis is either a divine vessel, or Heaven-sent. Prepared to worship at Louis' feet, Harry is ready to learn a whole different way of worship and devotion with Louis' help. “That’s coffee,” he remarked, pointing at the dark substance in the other boy’s cup. “Yes, it is,” Louis said, taking a sip from it, his eyes fixed on Harry. “Is it decaffeinated?” Louis raised an eyebrow, putting his mug down. “Will it make you feel better if I tell you it is?” “Lying is bad.” “Then, no, it’s not decaf. I don’t drink decaf coffee because it tastes awful.” “But,” Harry swallowed, glancing over his shoulder before leaning forwards. “Drugs are bad,” he whispered.

What Side Of Love Are You On? by FallingLikeThis | T | 25000 Ever since Harry finally made the decision to come out to his mother as bisexual, she’s been foisting women on him left and right, determined it’s just a phase. But when she puts out a personal ad to find the perfect partner for her son, things really get complicated. Suddenly, Harry’s heart is being pulled in two very different directions. On one side is the sweet, caring woman he has fun with, but doesn’t know his mother chose for him. On the other is a man who seems to be his mother’s worst nightmare, but makes Harry’s heart flutter in ways he’s never felt before. When all is said and done, maybe they’ll all learn that when there is no clear path to go down, the best option is to follow your heart. A Because I Said So Au with a bisexual twist.

but daddy i love him by wanderlou | nr | 28924 Someone cleared their throat and they all turned to the person; Charles. “I cannot and will not support this marriage.” “But Daddy…I love him,” Louis pouted. Or the one where Harry and Louis are getting married and Louis' dad hates Harry. Harry does everything to try and earn his respect during the wedding weekend.

adrenaline by reveries_passions | M | 38208 “Harry Styles,” Nameless Boy who now has a name says. Louis is too busy having an internal crisis to realize the boy has just introduced himself as Harry Styles. Harry Styles, only son of Des Styles, PhD, Dean of Harvard Medical School. Harry Styles, known by everyone and their grandmother. Harry Styles, star rower. Harry Styles, youngest enrolled student in graduate school at Harvard University. Oh my god, Louis thinks, mortified. I just slept with Harry Styles. As he reaches out tentatively to shake the boy’s hand, another thought hits him. Oh my god. Harry Styles is gay. ~ louis tomlinson, college dropout, up and coming dj, and gay activist, is the notorious owner of exclusive underground gay club, adrenaline. harry styles, med student by day, partier by night, child prodigy and seemingly heterosexual son of harvard professors, is the youngest and arguably the smartest student at harvard medical school. or: a one night stand wasn't supposed to become the greatest love story of the 21st century.

Counterbalance by YesIsAWorld | E | 44777 Harry Styles loves two things: teaching ballet and racing motorcycles. Those two worlds collide when his greatest rival on the track, Louis “Tommo” Tomlinson brings his tiny siblings to Harry’s class.

your memory over me by shimmeringevil | E | 64355 Three years have passed since Louis last saw him, but all it took was a few minutes in Harry’s presence for him to be relegated to the desperate twenty-one year old that was practically begging his boyfriend for an ounce of reassurance that he still cared about him. Harry shouldn’t be here. He’s brought too many unresolved feelings with him, that Louis thought he’d never have to face. It’s Harry’s apparent apathy that’s the most difficult to come to terms with. Anger, he could handle. Regret, he would welcome. But Harry’s amiability, and carefree demeanor can only be born from indifference. He’s moved on. He doesn’t care. And that is something Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever be strong enough to face. - OR - The worst heartbreak of Louis’ life walks right back into it when his parents invite their family friends on an all-expenses-paid trip for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Facing a past that he tried to bury long ago, Louis learns that some people have a way of sticking with you even when they’re gone.

Of Mates and Men by bananaheathen | E | 630460 In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

#parents #Of Mates and Men #bananaheathen #your memory over me #shimmeringevil #counterbalance #yesisaworld #adrenaline #reveries_passions #but daddy i love him #wanderlou #What Side Of Love Are You On?#FallingLikeThis #Screaming But Daddy I Love Him #Wishingforloushair #They Just Don't Know You #mukeandziamgotmelike

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asmutwriter · 6 months ago

Text

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 9)

DESCRIPTION: During you're time in the safe house you experience an event that'll likely cause your whole life to change.

WORD COUNT: 3110

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: pregnancy, giving birth, swearing, really bad writing to be honest

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story does not follow the timeline of the show

You'd been living in the safe house for a little under 2 months now. Celebrated Christmas and the New Year inside of it. You saw the man who delivered you new food every week on a Sunday. Edward his name was. Asking him to buy some specific things for your sisters so they could still have a somewhat normal Christmas, given the circumstances. It was quite nice being the three of you though. Over the winter you spent the short days reading, the long nights playing cards.

It was mid January, like any other Sunday. You sat in the living room. Reading a book. Only a few days left before February came around. Which you were greatful for. This month always seemed to last ages and summer would always seem so far away. A knock at the door. Elizabeth calls out.

"I'll get it" she says cheerfully. You stand up. A weird pain going through you as you stand. Letting out a small huff of air as you rub your stomach. Paying it no mind before walking over to the door. You see Edward outside. Brown paper bag with various bits in as he talks to Liz. Who keeps playing with her hair. You half smile at the scene before waddling over. He sees you, a smile on his face. Different to the one he gave your sister but you pay it no mind.

"You life saver" you say. Holding your hand out for the bag. He shakes his head.

"I don't think you should be carrying anything unnecessarily in your condition" he motions at your rather huge stomach.

"Is it really obvious that I'm pregnant?" he laughs as you comically push your stomach out. Motioning for him to come in. He goes to the kitchen. He'd been here plenty of times before so knew where to go. Placing the bag down onto the side.

"I even managed to get you-" he reaches into the bag. Pulling out two oranges.

"Oh my god yes" you hold a hand out, him passing it to you as he starts to empty the bag. That's when you feel it. The same sharp pain going through your side. You brace your hands on the counter. Furrowing your brow before the pain stops just as suddenly as it had started. Edward watches you

"You ok Mrs Shelby?" you nod. Standing back up again, rubbing your stomach.

"Yeah just peachy. Or should I say-" you hold the orange up again "Orangey". He rolls his eyes.

"I thought the dad was meant to say the bad jokes?" you laugh, starting to peel the fruit. Going to say something but the pain comes back. Harder this time. Ed stops what hes doing. Coming over to you as he steadies you. You bend forward. Grabbing his hand and clinging onto it as if your life depended on it. "Liz call the midwife" you see her running off.

"No" you call out. A small plea in your voice "please don't.... fuck!" you say. Hearing her speaking on the phone.

"Lets get you sat down" he says. Pulling out a dining chair as Liz runs back in, shortly followed by Mary.

"Midwife is on the way"

"Good. Flo just breath"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?" you shut your eyes. Rubbing your stomach as you speak in a low whisper. "Please get them out of this room" you say, almost as a sob. He nods. Motioning for your sisters to leave. SHhtting the door behind them to the kitchen. He comes and sits next to you. You dig your nails into the wood of the table.

"We- We should contact my husband"

"I can't do that" you look at him. Focusing on your breathing as you give him a questioning look. "Mr Shelby was very clear on his instructions. We do not contact him no matter what. To keep you, your child, and your sister safe". You chuckle slightly. A shaky breath out as you look away from him. Another contraction hitting you. You bend over slightly. Hand going to your stomach as your nails scratching the table before balling it into fists. Feeling the pain of your nails into the flesh of your palm.

Letting out a crying laugh as the pain subsides. Shaking your head slightly. "I'm having his baby and hes to fucking busy to come and see me"

"Its for your safety Mrs Shelby" you run a hand over your face. Pushing yourself up from your chair. Starting to pace. Ed stands too, hands outstretched like your a stray dog hes trying to tame. "I think you should remain sat down" you shake your head. Swaying on your feet side to side. Hearing the front door knock. Ed stands up. You shut your eyes as you hear the door open. The familiar voice of your midwife being heard.

She walks into the kitchen. Smiling at you as she places a medical bag onto the dining room table. "Its nice to see you again Mrs Shelby" you nod. Breathing deeply through your nose as she continues to speak. "Why don't we go to the bedroom for a little more privacy, hmm?" you nod.

Letting her take your arm as she leads you to the bedroom. You stay standing as she goes and and moves your pillows around for you.You stand as she does so, swaying softly as you shut your eyes. Ed following with the medical kit. She looks at him, taking the kit from him.

"Thank you" she smiles at him. He stands, hands placed neatly in front of him as he watches. She coughs slightly, causing him to look at her "I'm going to have to ask you to leave sir. There's no men allowed in the delivery room"

"I can't do that. I'm sorry ma'am" she turns to face him fully.

"I understand your concern. But my only aim for this visit is to deliver the baby safely. Your men have already checked my person. I am unarmed. Now I need you to leave so that I can do my job" he looks at her.

"I'll be just outside the door. If I hear anything unusual I will make no hesitation to come in here" she nods. Him turning tail and heading out the door. Shutting it behind him as your midwife faces you. A smile back on her face. "Why don't you come and lie down on the bed Mrs Shelby?"

"I don't want to lie down"

"I'll be able to help you a lot better if you lie down and let me have a look at whats happening".

"Is it to late to not have it?" she half smiles.

"Unfortunately so. Come on" she gently takes your shoulders. Leading you to the bed. Helping you up and lie down. Going between your thighs as she examines you. You shut your eyes as you breath.

"You're 4cm dilated"

"6 to go, right?" she nods. You shake your head. Turning your legs to go back over the bed. Standing up and pacing again. Gripping the end of the bed frame as another contraction hits. Screaming out. Dorothy (the midwife) coming over and comforting you. Rubbing firm yet gentle circles onto your lower back. She continues to rub onto your back. Massaging the pain away as best as she could.

"I want my husband" you say in a choked sob. "Please..."

"I can't do that Mrs Shelby. I'm sorry. What you need to focus on is getting this baby out. Do you think you can do that?" you shake your head.

"No. No I cant do it. I cant do this" you grip the bed frame tighter. Crying out again. "I need my husband... Please..." She waits for this contraction to pass before helping you to lie down onto the bed.. Dorothy checks how dilated you are.

"You're at 10cm my lovely"

"What the fuck does that mean?" you say. Hand coming up and covering your eyes.

"It means that you can start pushing for me. Count to 3 and give a really big push. 1, 2, 3 - that's it. Good girl. Do that one more time for me ok? 1, 2, 3 and push. Well done my lovely. The head is out. Hold it there. You're doing so well. Ok. Now do it one more time. Do you think you can do it? Come on. 1. 2. 3. Push. Keep pushing. Keep going. Well done. You did so well"

You pant. Eyes opening as you look. Dorothy clamping the two ends of the umbilical cord. Cutting it. Your eyes follow her as she holds your baby. Her rubbing its back. Unable to hear its cries a fear washes over you. "Is my baby ok?". As if on cue you start to hear its crying. A sigh of relief as she wraps the small human up in a blanket.

"Congratulations Mrs Shelby. You have a beautiful baby boy". You get handed him. A smile on your face as you look at the child you had made.

"Oh my god" you say in a soft whisper. Gently stroking the babes features. You feel Dorothy help clean everything up. Covering your lower regions before opening the door. You cant see it but Edward, Elizabeth, and Mary all wait outside the door. They come in. Edward checking to make sure everything seems well as Elizabeth and Mary rush to your side. Looking at your baby. A smile on your features as you look at the child.

"Have you thought of any names?"

"Yes. We were going to see if it was a boy or a girl first" you look up at her. "We're going to call him Charles" looking back down at the baby. "Charles Shelby" you whisper the name. Closing your eyes as you kiss his forehead.

5 months had passed. You were still in the safe house. Your midwife had stopped coming regularly around 4 months ago. Although she did tell you that if you had any further questions to contact the doctors. Edward was still coming every Sunday. Delivering you all food as you remained on lock down. Liz and Mary outside in the garden. Happy to be in the summer sun.

You were sat on the living room floor. Holding a toy that Edward had brought you as a gift for Charles. You play with it. Booping it onto the childs nose causing him to giggle. That's when you hear the front door open. Turning to look at the hallway. Edward wasn't meant to come round for another 3 days and the men patrolling your house never came in. You stand up. Picking up your child as you hold him close to you.

Rubbing his back as you make your way to the living room door. Poking your head round you see someone you weren't expecting.

"Thomas..." you whisper his name. Him examining the pictures on the wall. Turning to face you at hearing his name. He smiles at you. His cold stare growing warm as they meet yours. "I- I wasn't expecting you today" he nods.

"I told you I'd come and get you once the threat had been dealt with. So here I am".

"So we're safe to come back home?" he nods. You smile. Hugging the child you were holding close to you. Shutting your eyes as you rest your head against Charlie. "We can go home" you whisper. "We can go home". Kissing the side of his head. You open your eyes. Seeing your husbands eyes on the child your holding.

"Shit" you look between the two of them "shit yes. Tom meet your son. Charles" he comes over fully. The baby staring at him as he gently strokes the babes cheeks. This close proximity you get the scent of whiskey and cigarettes from your husband. The familiarity of it causing you to relax as he smiles at his child. The baby smiling back at him. Mimicking his dads expression.

"I've come to take you, your mum, and your aunties home. What do you say about that, ey?". You kiss your childs cheek before stroking his hair. Turning to Tommy.

"Could you hold him whilst I get the girls and our stuff please?". He nods without hesitation. Hands coming out as he takes your child. A genuine smile on his face as he takes him in his hold. The child looks at you, reaching a hand out. You take it. Kissing the back of his fingers.

"I will be back soon my love" kissing his fingers again. "You stay here with your dad, ok? I'll only be a minute" Stroking his cheek. He looks at his father. The hand you were holding goes to his dads cheek. An unsure but small smile comes over the youngers face. You stroke his hair again. Kissing the top of his head. "I'll be quick".

You're husband drives you all back home. Pulling up outside your house. The back doors open as your sisters get out. You grab the handle to open the car door. Stepping out as you hold your son. Liz and Mary grab your bags as well as their own as the start going into the house. You smile as you look at the familiar building.

Thomas comes over to you. A hand going gently to your upper arm as he looks at you. You turn your head. Meeting his ocean eyes. "I have a present for you". Your brow knits together as you look at him.

"What for?"

"Many reasons. To celebrate our one year anniversary, the birth of our son, Christmas, plus the fact that the threat that separated us is now gone for good" he pauses for a moment. Letting the words hit your ears

"What is it then?"

"That defeats the point of a present if I tell you, ey? All I ask is that you and Charlie get into the car and I'll take you to it" you don't move. Instead just watching him. Trying to read him. It had been a while so you were a little rusty. "Trust me, Florence". You nod slightly.

"I trust you Mr Shelby" he smiles. You move to the side as he reaches behind you. Grabbing the car door, opening it for you as you get in. Shutting it behind you before getting into the drivers seat. Charlie watches your husband as he loosens his tie. Pulling it up and over his head. Turning to face you as he holds it in his palms.

"You still trust me Mrs Shelby?". You look at the tie. Then looking at his eyes. His soft, pulling you in as they scan your features. "Do you?". He repeats. You bite the inside of your lip. Looking at the tie again before nodding. Looking back at his eyes he smiles. You wrap and arm around your son. Holding him close to you as Tommy brings the tie up. Wrapping it around your head and tying it in the back. You reach a hand out. Gently touching his shoulder "Is that comfortable?". You nod. Feeling him shift. The car engine starting. A rumble going through you and the vehicle as you feel it starting to move.

"Where are we going Mr Shelby?"

"You're going to have to wait and see". You feel his hand go to your leg. Squeezing it softly before moving back again. Your hand remaining on his shoulder as a form of security for you.

You're unsure of how much time goes by before the car comes to a stop. He removes your hand from his shoulder. Placing it to join the other one wrapped around Charles. Hearing the door beside you opening. You feel him remove the child from your lap before a hand comes out and takes yours. Helping you step out the car.

"You know, making your blindfolded wife get out of a car whilst she wears heels may not be the best idea you've ever had". A chuckle escapes him. Causing you to smile "Well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself at this image"

"Very much so" he says. You can hear the smirk in his voice as you successfully get out the car. He turns you. Bringing your arms up as he places Charlie back into your arms. Not letting him go fully until he knows you have a good hold on him. Feeling him move behind you. You move your head, tilting it so you can hear him better when he speaks. "Are you ready?". You nod. Feeling his hands come up. Untying the tie around your eyes. Taking it and placing the material in his pocket.

You blink a few times. Eyes becoming re-accustomed to the light. Feeling his hands gently rest onto your upper arms. You hold Charlie as you manage to focus on a house standing before you. No. Better described as a mansion. He leans near your ear. Speaking into it. "Welcome to our new home - Arrow House"

"Our- Did you just say our home?" he nods. His hands still resting on your arms. Holding you as you whisper "This is ours...?" Scared if you speak any louder you might break the magical atmosphere. A smile on his face as drops your arms. He comes round to the front of you. Outstretching a hand, to which you take. Holding Charlie still.

Awestruck as he goes up to the front door. Leading you with him. Opening it you go inside the beautiful entrance way. "Your fucking kidding me" you say. Adjusting Charlie on your hip. Looking up at the grand staircase. He watches you. His hands placed comfortably in front of him. "This is a joke right? This is a friends house that you've borrowed or something"

"I had some spare money left over that I needed to spend. Given the circumstances of your pregnancy I thought it only made sense to buy us a house. One that could accommodate for us"

"Fuck me..." you whisper. He takes out a cigarette. Rolling it over his lips. Taking out a lighter and lighting the end. Drawing a drag from it before removing it from his lips. Placing the lighter back into his pocket.

"We have room for a few maids which should be starting at the end of the week. I've got a few cars to come by to deliver your personal items. They should be arriving later today" he places it back in his mouth.

"You've really set a high bar for presents. You realise that Mr Shelby?" he smiles. Watching as you bring a hand up. Feeling joyfully overwhelmed.

Previous / Next

TAGS

@whorecrux-of-slytherin @kkrenae @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @frozenhuntress67

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crimsonwritings · 7 months ago

Text

Flames in our hearts - Prologue

Pairing: Cassian x female reader

Summary: Cassian and Y/N both have to let their partners go.

Warnings: angst, some kind of panic attacks

Words: 2.4k

A/N: It’s finally here! The first part of my firefighter Cassian fic. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to post this earlier but I was overthinking which resulted in a writers block. I’ll try to post the next parts more regularly from now on. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist | Moodboard

Y/N´s POV:

“So this is it then.”

Four years ago I would have never believed that him and I would ever be in this situation. Sitting in our small town café, nothing but an untouched glass of water in front of me, because I was physically incapable of consuming anything right now. Him being placed in the seat opposite of me, staring at the wall, the table and the wall again. Anywhere to avoid my gaze.

It probably looked like a break up scene straight out of a movie. Even the weather seemed to play along, as the sky was filled with dark grey clouds, rain pouring down to the earth. If angels existed I imagined those raindrops to be their tears as they mourned over the pieces of my shattered relationship. I wanted them to drown my emotions until I wouldn’t feel any of this pain right now. And if it meant that I wouldn’t be able to feel anything ever again so be it. I couldn’t care less.

“Yeah. This is it,” he answered. I knew that this decision wasn’t easy for him, could hear it in his silent, shaking voice. How much time had we actually spent together? One third of our lives? First as friends, before it had turned into something more, something intimate - something vulnerable.

He had been my first everything and oh, how I had wanted him to be my last. The one and only, like those fairytales always swoon about. Some part of me still wanted him to be just that. But fairytales aren’t real and my teenage dreams had to concede their space in my head to the cruel realities of this world.

“It used to be so easy with us but now…it just doesn’t feel like it did at the beginning. You became so distant and I know that to an extent it’s my fault but I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s frustrating me. I can’t live like this anymore. And it wouldn’t be fair to you either.”

How generous of him. Breaking up with me to spare my feelings. I didn’t know why it caused a rumble of anger to drive through my body. Didn’t I feel the exact same thing? Wasn’t it me who had questioned our relationship over the past months?

At least he was able to set me free. I on the other hand felt like a snake, meandering around his body and pushing my fangs in his skin, even though I knew I would poison him with my insecurities. I just couldn’t let go.

Because that was my greatest fear. Being left by someone I loved, someone who was supposed to love me back. It had made me doubt him at some point, when he had disappointed me one to many times with such little things. Suddenly I hadn’t been able to see the good things anymore, only the bad, which had resulted in me emotionally distancing myself, snapping at him when he told me I was a fool for doing so.

And now here we were, in the middle of that small town café, knowing that we weren’t able to make each other happy anymore. One side being controlled by her fears, the other driven by frustration, annoyance maybe. I couldn’t even blame him for feeling this way. For I couldn’t stand myself either. What used to be a loving relationship became a downward spiral pretty fast.

I knew that this was right. That I had to let him go to hopefully find his happiness, even if it meant that he would end up with someone else. If she could appreciate everything he had to offer then he was hers to claim, not mine. But why did it feel so damn wrong? Why was the thought of somebody else living my dreams with him worse than what we had now?

The merciless feeling of my panic rising up consumed me whole. I knew it all to well. It always started with that lump in my throat, swelling on and on until I feared I couldn’t breath anymore. It then resulted in a gag, as if my body tried to get rid of it by throwing up. Meanwhile I could feel the tears lining up, threatening to spill but never doing so, not granting me that sort of relief. I could feel the familiar cold running over my skin, causing me to shiver. My hands were already shaking so hard I had to grab the chair beneath me, so nobody would notice.

Calm down Y/N. Don’t you dare let them see your weakness. Nobody wants to see it.

But no matter how many deep breaths I inhaled to calm myself down, it didn’t work.

I wasn’t strong enough for this. I couldn’t let him go. Instead I needed him to take me in his arms, soothing me that everything would be all right, that he had overreacted and that we would work on it. Like we had promised each other so many times before.

My voice trembled as I begged him, “Please! I will become the girl you fell in love with again! All I need is time!”

Something deep down in me protested. Questioned why I had to beg him to love me. Why it was so important for me to be loved by him.

I didn’t listen. All I could hear were his final words.

“Stop making this any harder than it already is. You assured me of this so many times but I can’t believe you anymore. And it wouldn’t matter anyway. My love for you is gone Y/N. I feel nothing…I’m sorry.”

Something inside of me shattered at his words. Maybe it was the hope I still had left. To mend this. To get out of this nightmare. But now there was nothing left. He had made his choice and I could do absolutely nothing about it.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Neither the beat of my heart getting painfully fast nor my breath being so flat that I feared I would faint. The tears started to run down my cheeks - finally - but it caused embarrassment to flow through me as I felt the stares of the strangers around me, starring and judging.

I almost jumped up from my seat and stormed out of the cafe, away from the pity and the pain.

He didn’t try to stop me.

~*~

Cassian’s POV:

“Say that again.” His words came out in a gasp.

He didn’t know how they had ended down here. Only a few minutes ago he had felt as if he could touch the sun! Finally, after so many years of pining after it, his life had become perfect, giving him wings of jauntiness! But it seemed like he had gotten to close to the radiant heat of the burning star, for now it felt like those exact wings had caught fire, causing him to race down towards the ground, to the predict of a devastating crash.

She alone could save him now.

But instead of throwing him something to grab onto in his fall she definitively shredded his wings to pieces, robbing him of any chance to survive.

“It’s over Cassian. I’m breaking up with you.”

There were no tears in her eyes as she said it. No signs of doubt on her face. She was sure in her decision and seemed utterly cold about it. Like an ice queen she stood in front of him, wearing the mask she had always worn to protect herself. Every time she couldn’t stand the overwhelming emotions around her. Cassian couldn’t help but find it majestic, how she stood her ground, watching him slowly crumble in himself.

The shock must have been evident on his face, he was sure about it. He felt like he couldn’t move. He wanted to tear his eyes from her icy stare but no matter how hard he tried, his body wouldn’t allow him to. All he was capable of doing was holding on to the balcony railing of his apartment.

In the corner of his eye he saw the lights of the city he called his home. There was a musician playing on the streets somewhere, he could hear the happy melody in the distance. Usually he would have loved it. It all seemed like a mockery to him now.

“But…I don’t understand! I thought we were happy!”

As the realisation started to settle in he could feel the panic rising up. The ringing in his ears became louder and louder and he had to resist the urge to shut them with his hands, even though he knew that it wouldn’t help one bit. Otherwise he would have missed her next words.

“Happy?! Do you really think I’m happy with everyone trying to change me the whole time?”

There was anger in her eyes now, a little spark that could turn into a wildfire if he didn’t take care. He had seen it a million times already. That fiery anger that threatened to eat her alive. It always resulted in her sending the flames towards her opponents, mixed with nothing but cold, brutal calculation.

“You know that it’s true Cassian. They all want me to be that cheerful little girl who loves to go on family adventures and gets along with everybody and keeps quiet about all the things that go wrong with you all. But I’m not. I hate pretending that I like them. And I most certainly hate that they only see Feyre’s sister or your girlfriend in me. Especially Rhysand!”

“He doesn’t do that and you know it! All he is trying to do is to integrate you. And if you wouldn’t be so god damn stubborn about it you would see it!”

Something had switched in Cassian, he didn’t even realise it. All of a sudden the shock had turned into anger. He stepped towards her, fists clenched and eyes squinted.

She didn’t back down. Instead she stabbed her finger in his chest and bared her teeth, ready to fight back. “You’re only proving my point! You’re doing it again! Defending him! It’s always like this, you’re always on his side!”

“Can you blame me? He is the only family I have left! I owe him so much, hell we wouldn’t even live in this apartment without him!”

“Should I be thankful for this now? It’s only a reminder that we are completely dependent on him. All I did over the past years was trying to match his expectations. I really tried, for you! But I can’t do this anymore! I don’t even know who I am anymore!”

“So the only solution for you is to break up with me? Throwing me away when I’m not of use for you any longer?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cassian.” She turned around and stormed into their shared bedroom, Cassian right on her heels. When he saw all of her stuff packed up in some suitcases the panic returned. He could feel his heart beating rapidly and he had to hold onto the door frame as he slightly stumbled at the sight.

“Where…where are you going?”

“Eris offered me to stay in his family’s summer house. He’ll pick me up in a thew minutes and you won’t follow me!”

She had planned this then. Had made her decision, when exactly? Days ago? Weeks ago? Leaving him, without even giving him the chance to explain himself or making things right with her. He would change if he needed to. All she had to do was talk to him, telling him what he could do better. Yet all of it wouldn’t lead to anything, because she had given up a long time ago.

What hurt the most though was the fact that she trusted another man more than she trusted him. Of course Eris would have offered to help her. That viper had tried to lure her in even before she had chosen Cassian. But why did she ran into his arms when Cassian was right here, willing to catch her like he had done so many times before?

When Nesta reached the door again, he stepped in front of her. He needed an answer. He needed to know if there was even the smallest chance of winning, should he fight for her.

„Tell me Nes, I won’t let you go otherwise. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore.“

One last time she looked up to him with those beautiful steel blue eyes. He desperately searched for any sign of emotion in them. Hell, he would even take all of her anger again. At least this would mean that she still cared about him. But it seemed like she didn’t feel anything anymore as she made his nightmare come true.

„I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye Cassian.“

There it was, that final crash. He had hit the ground now, forced to watch her pass him and leave the apartment, not able to reach out for her, even though an inner voice screamed for him to hold her back.

It felt like an out of body experience. He could feel everything. The tears that ran down his cheeks. His knees giving in, causing him to sink to the ground against the wall. He could hear his sobs and pleas for her to come back. Yet everything was distant, covered under a blanket of devastating pain.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, when he finally came back to his senses. All he knew was that he had to stop her.

He got up on his wobbly legs and hustled out of the door on the floor of the apartment building screaming with everything his shaky voice could offer: „Nesta! NESTA!“.

But it was to late. She was gone. She had left him, like everyone else had done. He was all alone again.

When the old lady, who lived next door stepped out of her apartment at his screaming he gathered all his strength and made his way back into his own flat.

Entering the living room he saw a small black velvet box lying on the bookshelf. She hadn’t found it like he had planned. She hadn’t looked for it.

He could hear the box giggle at his misery, mocking him. He knew it was all in his head but he couldn’t stand it anyway. So, as the anger boiled up in him again, he grabbed the box, stepped out on the balcony - and with a yell he threw it into the river down below.

Tags: @hellodarling1357

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

#cassian x reader #cassian x y/n #cassian x you #cassian #acotar fanfiction #acotar #cassian angst #cassian fluff #modern!cassian au #firefighter!cassian au

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i-am-church-the-cat · 1 year ago

Note

Okay so sorry for this ask. I just had this random thought blurb and wanted to share with someone. But like imagine:

Lando decides to suggest to Oscar that it would be funny if they get married in Vegas. Cause like that would be hilarious. Except Oscar looks him dead in the eye and says “I can’t, I’m already married” before walking away.

So of course Lando has a major freak out trying to figure out who he married and ropes the whole grid in the search. There is a strong rumor it’s Daniel (which Daniel started cause it’s funny). There is also the rumor that is Taylor Swift (that’s Este trying to annoy Nando). And of course there are suggestions of Fred, Liam, and even Arthur (which Pierre and Charles’s shut down right away because they would have to kill him).

And everyone keeps asking Logan if he knows and he just keeps laughing it off. But he’s also it’s a sad laugh because he’s a little sad to thing that nobody thinks he could be worthy of Oscar, even if he agrees.

And of course this pisses Oscar off. Because his husband is the sweetest man around. Because who the fuck cares if he is having a bad season when he is always there to make sure Oscar does things like eat breakfast or makes sure he isn’t too hard on himself.

So when the grid decides to do a group breakfast the morning after in Vegas (to compare horror stories). Oscar marks the shit out of Logan as they show up with their wedding rings.

Anon, never apologize for being the smartest motherfucker in the room. As a secretly married loscar truther, I am in love with this. And you’re always welcome to come in my messages or my ask box with stuff like this.

I can imagine Oscar being so smug at that breakfast. It’s his ring around Logan’s finger, it’s his marks on Logan’s body, it’s him who gets to keep bringing waffles for Logan to devour in record speed.

And I think the reason no one suspected it could be Logan Oscar was married to is because they would’ve known, right? Surely they wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret for 9 months?

(Well, Alex and George had known pretty quickly who it was but they weren’t going to spoil the surprise.)

But even now with them both declaring themselves to each other for all of them to see, they barely act any different. Small touches, leaned in whispers, pressed as close together as two people could in opposite chairs, but still completely level-headed.

And finally Lando snaps and is like “How? How are you two so calm around each other? If I had a partner on the grid, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of them.”

Oscar shrugs and Logan laughs awkwardly and even now they’re like twin planets - always together but never crashing.

“We’ve been together for a long time,” Oscar answers which, they would hope so for the youngest married couple on the grid. “And most of that time it’s had to be a secret. I guess we’re just used to it.”

“Plus, neither of us are big on PDA.” A rather ironic thing for Logan to say while covered in bite marks and red-purple hickies. “We like to keep our private life private.”

And suddenly Lando feels bad because maybe they had never planned on coming out to them, or at least not so soon, but Lando had practically forced their hand because of his little goose hunt. But Logan smiles understandingly at him and is quick to reassure.

“Don’t worry, we were planning to tell people on the grid sooner rather than later, probably when my contract extension was announced, if it’s ever decided.”

Oscar makes a face at that but doesn’t interrupt.

“We just chose now because…” And suddenly Logan gets this look on his face, something pained and almost embarrassed. Oscar tangles their left hands together to stop him in his tracks, proudly displaying their matching rings before continuing.

“None of you thought I could have the honor of being married to Logan - hurtful, by the way, I’m obviously a catch - so I wanted to show everyone who I belonged to.”

Logan blushes a light pink, but he’s smiling. Oscar feels a bit of relief as Logan lays his head on his shoulder, allowing him to turn his nose into the gel-less waves of his blond hair.

The rest of their drivers start to clamor their excuses - you’re too good at hiding it, we thought Logan was dating that Instagram model, actually you’re right you aren’t good enough for my junior Williams driver but you make him happy so I guess it’s okay (this one is of course from George who is met with a lot of boos and biscuit throwing) - but it doesn’t really matter.

Who cares what any of them thought? At the end of the day, Oscar is the one sitting here with Logan Sargeant’s hand intertwined with his, he’s the one that will get to go back with him to their shared apartment, bundle his Florida boy up against the cruel English winter, and indulge in the domestic bliss of being with someone he truly loved.

When one had that, who cared about anything else?

#my hand slipped #sorry for hijacking your post anon #but i love this!!#domestic loscar for the win!#loscar #logan sargeant #oscar piastri #f1 rpf #anon #anon ask #fairy-eyed eagle

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red-airhead · 1 year ago

Text

𝓘 𝓵𝓾𝓿 𝓱𝓲𝓶 | 𝓗𝓪𝓷 𝓙𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓰 |

Masterlist

word count - 2,547

genre - hurt with comfort, romance, fluff

warnings - gn terms, you/your pronouns, afab! reader, reader is insecure, self doubt, denial, mutual pining, bsf! Jisung, technically theres an argument, swearing, mentions of comparisons to others, distancing, hugging, cuddling, mentions of alcohol, mentions of hating your body, lmk if I missed anything.

my dear friend @j-onedrabbles is being featured in this! I couldn't think of a better person to feature in this just because they've always influenced a lot of my writing, and even sometimes motivates me and gives me inspiration. I love you Karma <3

“They’re better off without me anyway.” You’d tell your friends every time you’d catch feelings on a guy or girl, or when you’d be broken up with.

Self doubt, that’s what you had. You never believed it but you knew it was true, and there was no way of denying it whenever they would constantly point out the way you’d get all upset and gloomy seeing that person happy with someone else, as you felt like it was the only way to be proven right, that they were better off without you.

This time though, it wasn’t someone who just suddenly came into your life, it was your best friend that you caught feelings for. Jisung was beautiful to you. He was so kind and so sweet that it was hard not to fall in love.

For the 2 years you had been friends, you made it through not catching feelings but the moment that he said you were prettier than anyone he’s ever met, it made you melt.

At first, you thought it would go away, but when days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, you knew there was no denying that you had officially caught feelings for your best friend.

You thought it was embarrassing, really. You thought that after all this time, why now? Or why did it have to be someone you were so afraid of losing. You knew it was a matter of time before he realized and left you behind because he’d find it weird, but you knew that wasn’t the case, he couldn’t leave you.

That’s when you ended up having a very long conversation with Hyunjin about this. Besides Jisung, he’d listen to you as well and would try and understand your problems.

“I feel like it’s about time you’d tell him.. It’s been almost 4 months Y/N..”

“Yeah, and things have been fine! Nothing bad has happened and he doesn’t know!”

“You’ve been distancing yourself.. You’ve been trying to hide away from him, and you know it. You two haven’t hung out in 2 months and you know it. I know it’s hurting you to be with him without being his partner, but he needs you more than anything and you know that it’s true.”

He was right. It had been two months. Two months since you’ve talked to Jisung without letting the conversation die, two months since you’ve stayed at his house for the night, wearing his clothes, cuddling with him underneath his sheets.

“How would you know that he’s better with me than without me?”

“Because I know you two, more than anything.. Neither of you can live without each other and you know better than anyone that he’s been feeling like shit, like hes been doing something wrong this entire time.” Hyunjin did have a point. Jisung beat himself up more than anything in the world when he doesn’t know what’s wrong.

“But–”

“No but’s you’re talking to him soon. You need to see him, talk to him. He needs it more than anything in the world right now.”

-----------------------------

Six months. Almost six months since you’ve been able to talk to Jisung face to face, or even hear his voice. It was so difficult at this point to even want these feelings.

You were recently invited to a gathering by Hyunjin, one he knew JIsung would be at since it was just the usual group. You couldn’t say no, you had agreed about a month go when you were tipsy.

Except at this gathering, no alcohol was going to be consumed, and no one was going to be getting shit faced drunk to get rid of the pain.

Movie night, something that you enjoyed so much with Jisung and the others. It was so comfortable between all of you, especially when you could all snuggle without a problem, it just felt like second nature.

But now, you dreaded it. You were stuck next to Jisung with Hyunjin on your other side, preventing you from moving any further since he was just hogging the one side. That ended up with you pressed up against Jisung.

You could smell his cologne, one you picked out and one he kept using. He was warm, and that warmth was urging you to snuggle into his arms even more as the movie went on.

You were quiet the entire time, and so was Jisung. Everyone knew that something was going on, and they all knew you both had feelings for each other, but you just denied it.

It was so difficult to even look at him without wanting to cry or melt at his peaceful expression.

Even worse, the movie night was at his house, and everyone had plans to leave early, and those who left, carpooled with the others. You were basically forced to stay the night.

Breaking the silence while you were cleaning, you said, “I’ll sleep on the couch..”

He stopped everything he was doing and just looked at you, and you could tell he was upset, “You don’t have to..” He muttered, frowning at the way you just started to get everything set up. You didn’t even bring a change of clothes..

“It’s okay,, I’ll also just wear–”\

“No it’s not okay. Please,, come lay down with me, and get a change of clothes..” Jisung said in one of the most hush tones you’ve heard from him. You couldn’t deny him now.

“Fine..” You muttered, walking to his room and looking through his clothes, he followed close behind, also grabbing a change of clothes. You went to the bathroom to change, sliding off your shirt and then leggings. You just stared at your reflection. Yet another reason you believed you weren’t good enough for him. You hated how your body looked, he wouldn’t like it either.

Before your tears started spilling, you quickly slipped on the borrowed clothes, blinking away your tears and then picking up your clothes, folding them and walking out of the bathroom.

When you arrived at his room, you set down your clothes on his dresser, glancing over to see him on his phone, laying underneath the covers. With a soft huff, you got underneath the blankets and just turned to your side. You knew he was looking at you with such a heavy frown.

“You’re not gonna snuggle with me?”

“Nope..” You popped the ‘p’ as you just buried yourself in the covers.

It was silent for a little while, until you felt him shuffle, set down his phone, and start hugging you from behind.

“Ji– Plea–”

“You know it's been really hard to fall asleep ever since we stopped hanging out..?” You knew alright. You haven’t been able to sleep well ever since.

“I’ve just been busy–”

“Liar.. I know you, you’ve been sitting in your room alone.. You haven’t posted anything besides reels on instagram so I know that you’re lying.”

He was right. Nights when you weren’t hanging out you were in your bed, watching instagram reels and scrolling through tiktok. The one thing he didn’t include was that you’ve been crying.

“Can we not do this right now? And can you please let me go?” You could feel a pang in your heart from your own words, holding back your tears.

“Y/N–please–”

“Jisung.”

He slowly let you go, turning so his back was facing you. Shortly after you hear sniffling from him, “Ji,, please don’t cry…” You said in a much softer tone.

“I-I’m not crying..” He whimpered out. Yes he was. You sigh, turning around so you could hug him from behind, your cheeks flushing red from it.

“Yes you are.. I’m sorry..” You told him, pressing one of your signature kisses on his clothed shoulder. You heard him start to sob, so you just squeezed him tighter.

He soon turned around, crying in your arms.

“I miss you, so fucking much..” He said, a shaky breath following after.

“I miss you too, Ji..”

“Then why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you hang out with me or cuddle with me?” He whimpered out, holding onto you with a strong grip.

“It’s complicated..”

“Too complicated to tell your best friend?” He asked, looking at you with such a heart broken expression.

You looked back at him, feeling tears prick at your eyes, “It’s not like that.. I just– I don’t want to tell you..”

“But you’d tell everyone else right? You’d tell everyone but me right?” You couldn’t do this right now..

“You’d go to Hyunjin? Yeah? Talk to him about it and completely discard my feelings?”

“Ji–”

“Or would you go to Minho? Tell him everything you cant tell me?”

“Jisung–”

“What about Felix? Huh? What can you tell him that you can’t–”

“Because I love you, more than a friend..!” You snapped at him. Everything froze. Did you really just say that?

You looked at him, and it felt like everything was over. His expression was truly something out of a horror movie.

“Forget about it.. I’m going home..” You quickly pulled him off of you and got out of bed, Jisung quickly scrambling to stop you, grabbing your hand.

“Wait! I-I love you too..”

“Ji, please don’t lie to me to make me feel better..”

“But I’m not–”

“Let go..” You quickly pulled your hand away from his, tears brimming in both yours and his eyes. Quickly, without changing or grabbing your clothes, you walked out of the bedroom and slipped your shoes on. It wasn’t long of a walk, but it was late.

You knew Jisung wouldn’t follow you, so it made you relieved knowing you didn’t have to stop him from following you.

It truly wasn’t long before you got home, and immediately you just started balling your eyes out. All night long you spent thinking about him and how everything he said was a lie.

-----------------------------

It had been a few weeks since your ‘argument’ with Jisung. He kept texting you, trying to get you to answer or come hang out with him, and it even got to a point that you just put your phone on do not disturb.

You were with your friend Karma. Both of you decided to have a night in at your house, preferably a sleepover just how you liked it.

They knew about Jisung, and your crush on him, how it felt practically impossible to be looking or even talking to him.

“I really do think that you should talk to him,, I’m sure the poor guy is practically distraught with this situation.” She explained, sipping at the tea you had made the both of you a few minutes prior.

“You don’t get it though, it’s my best friend we're talking about. It’s Han Jisung, the guy who I fell in love with.”

“Uh hello? I do get it, I’ve been in your situation before and not only that but that guy is absolutely head over heels for you.. Trust me I see it everytime he looks at you.”

You scoffed before taking a sip of your own tea, rolling your eyes a little.

“Seriously! Jisung is probably the one, I can feel it. You really need to talk to him, and I know it’s hard for you but you also have to understand that he’s your best friend and the more you push him away, the more it’s gonna hurt.”

Karma was right, you just didn’t want to believe it.

“If you say so..” You said as you watched them pull out her phone and begin typing..

“What are you doing?” You ask her, brows furrowing together as you lean over.

“Texting Jisung. I’m telling him to come to yours.” You quickly tried to grab their phone but it was too late, the text was already sent.

“Why would you do that!! Fuck now I have to see him..” You whined, throwing your head back in annoyance.

“Yes you do, and this will also be my que to leave before he arrives. I don’t want to witness whatever will go down. Have funnn!” Karma giggled out, standing up, setting down the empty cup of tea, and going to the door, sliding their shoes on and walking out to her car.

This just meant you had to clean now, and look presentable. Before Karma had come over, you had been crying on and off when the argument with Jisung happened, and your house was a mess. You cleaned up the most you could, changing into more presentable clothes.

You waited for a knock on the door, and when you opened it you weren’t expecting to see Jisung with a gift bag and a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

“These are technically apology flowers but you can call them whatever, I also got a gift bag of all of your favorite things to eat,, and even some fuzzy socks and a new pair of pajama pants so we can match and–”

“Okay, okay.. Just get inside..” You quickly ushered him in, watching him kick his shoes off in the process, setting the gift basket and flowers down gently.

Shutting the door, you made sure that it was locked, now walking over to him.

You saw his face, his expression, and it practically broke you. Tear stained cheeks, puffy red eyes, and his brows furrowed completely.

It wasn’t even a moment after that he had his arms around you, tears now forming again and falling down his face. You wrapped your arms around him, sniffling as you held each other.

It was silent in the house besides both of your sniffling and soft whimpers.

“Jisung..”

“Let me go first..” He said, pulling away from the hug and cupping your cheeks, wiping away your tears. You leaned into his warm hands.

“Y/N I love you so much.. I really do, and not in the friend way I really, really love you.. Please don’t run away from me anymore, I can’t take it.. being away from you..” He paused, and you knew what he was going to say next.

“Jisung, I know… I’m sorry.. I pushed you away because I thought it would help, and prevent me from falling for you..” You replied, hands now cupping his cheeks and wiping away his tears.

“I love you too, I just– I didn’t want to–”

“Ruin our friendship, yeah I know..” He chuckled, hands going over yours as he looked back at you.

“Please.. Please stay with me, be in love with me.. I want you to stay around, I want to love you just as much as you love me..” He whimpered out, sniffling. You could see in his eyes the genuine truth, the way he wanted you to be with him so badly.

“Okay..” You whispered, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding away in his hold.

You don’t know what you missed more, the warmth or the hold of his arms.

You felt so safe, so secure.. Why did you ever distance yourself in the first place..

“I was so scared of losing you, I thought you hated me..”

“Hated you? I could never hate you..” You hugged closer.

“I love you..”

You smiled at those words, your heart feeling warm, everything feeling safe and secure.

“I love you too..”

#stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids comfort #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung angst #han jisung smut #han jisung fluff #han jisung comfort #Spotify

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worstamongequals · 2 years ago

Text

Deadly

— “This crazy bitch is trying to kill me.”

“Hmm, I wonder why.”

Eddie Brock x Vigilante!Reader

You and Eddie had been working together for months now: you, Karma, in your hooded disguise, and Eddie masked by Venom. The Lethal Protectors started working with you after coming across you in an alley one night, where they watched you single-handedly take down a would-be rapist, and Venom offered to eat his head. You and Eddie have never revealed your identities to each other, but tonight, you’re forced to when Eddie takes you back to his apartment for a patch-up after a really bad fight.

word count: 3k

Holy fucking shit. Eddie watched in awe as you handed that guy’s ass to him. You, whoever you are, wearing a protective suit with a mask covering your face, the visor glinting in what little light illuminated the alley. We should help her, Eddie. No, buddy, I think she’s got it.

The man grunted when your knuckles connected with his cheekbone once more and he dropped to his knees. “Come on, man, if you’d have just said she was your girl, I’d have left her alone.” You buried your boot in his stomach and he curled into a ball on the cold pavement.

“That’s your problem, pal.” Your voice was all ice and poison. It occurred to Eddie that the man you were currently kicking the shit out of hadn’t realized you weren’t a man. “You should’ve left her alone because she said leave me alone, not because you think she belongs to some other guy.” Eddie heard a loud crack and suddenly the man yelped in pain. You broke a rib that time.

“Please,” He begged. “Don’t do this.”

“Oh?” You paused, drawing a knife from some unseen hiding place and pressing the blade against his throat. “Are those words suddenly supposed to mean something now? Coming from you?”

The man fell silent, save for a wheezing sound whenever he breathed. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, like a fish gasping for air.

“You didn’t seem to think those words held any weight earlier.” The blade of your knife pressed deeper into his skin, releasing a thin trickle of blood. “Speak.”

“I-I just,” He stammered. “Please.”

“Hmm,” You hummed liltingly, as if considering his plea. “I’m gonna go with no.”

You put your foot to his shoulder and pushed him down, until he was flat on his back, lying in a puddle of what Eddie could only hope was the man’s own piss. You pulled a gun from the holster at your back, cocking it and aiming it right between his eyes.

“Good fucking night, you piece of shit.”

“Wait!” Venom leapt down from the roof he had been perched on. You stepped back, adjusting your stance so your gun was now pointed at Venom and your knife was back against the man’s throat. “Allow me to make you an offer.”

“I’m listening.” You tried to steady your voice, but it was difficult to sound cool and collected when you were confronted by this 7 foot, oily black alien thing, with rows of teeth and milky white eyes. But Eddie silently commended you for standing your ground.

“I will eat his head. For you.”

“You-” You stuttered, shocked, but also… pleased? “Who are you?”

“We are Venom, the Lethal Protector.”

“Uh… cool.” You lowered your gun. “I’m Karma.”

“You’re a bitch.” The man on the ground spat.

“Oh yeah? You think so?” You gently dragged your knife down his neck and chest, coming to a stop at the waistline of his pants. Ignoring his panicked shouts, you cut through the jeans and boxers, digging the serrated blade into the base of his weapon of choice. “Right, well karma is a fucking bitch, isn’t she?” You sawed halfway through before you stepped back, almost as if admiring your work. He won’t be using that anymore. Then you looked at Venom and gestured towards the man on the floor. “Be my guest.”

Venom devoured him. And this time, Eddie was glad he did it. Venom wanted to eat brains, and Eddie didn’t want innocent people to die. This was their perfect target group. Someone who deserved to be violently removed from this spinning rock.

“My partner would like to speak to you.”

Eddie could picture your eyes widening underneath your mask. “Who?”

Venom’s face peeled back, revealing a smaller, human face underneath. You tried to get a clear look, to figure out if this was someone you knew or someone you should be able to recognize later, but Venom distorted Eddie’s face just enough so that although you could tell you were now speaking to a human man, you couldn’t make out any identifying characteristics. “Hi,” He said, somewhat awkwardly. You cocked your head to the side - his voice didn’t match his hulking figure at all. “We are Venom. And I’d like to make a deal with you.”

- - -

You grunted when your back slammed into the brick wall behind you. Sucking in a ragged breath, you forced yourself back up onto your feet. Eddie admired that about you. You sniffed, dragging the back of your hand across your nose, only taking a second to acknowledge the blood that came away on your hand. “You’re going to regret that. And everything else you did tonight.”

“You crazy bitch,” The guy’s fists were up, but he looked tired. Not much of a fighter. “I didn’t do anything wrong. She wanted it. You’re just a fucking cockblock-”

“More like chopping block.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“Come find out.” Two knives slid out of their sheaths and into your hands with a shink sound. The man pulled out his baton, gripping it tightly in his sweaty hand. You’d never liked batons - they were fucking brutal. Anyone whose weapon of choice was a baton made your stomach churn; it took a special kind of sick to be comfortable beating someone to death. “She wanted it.” He repeated, mostly to himself.

“None of them did.” You tightened your grip on your knives. “The only thing you protect and serve is yourself.” You launched yourself forward, dodging his first swing of the baton and landing a deep cut on his forearm. He hissed in pain and if looks could kill, you’d be dead. He reached for the radio clipped to his belt. “This is Foxtrot-22, I am in need of assistance-”

You shoved your hand underneath his chin, against the top of his throat, forcing him to step backward if he wanted to continue breathing. “I don’t think so.” You plucked the radio out of his hands, resting your thumb above the talk button. “Repeat after me.”

“You cun- AGH-” You pushed your hand harder into his throat.

“This is Foxtrot-22.” You nodded, signaling him to speak. You clicked the radio on.

“This is Foxtrot-22.”

“And I need to be held accountable for my crimes.”

“I need-” He paused. “Help, Code 8, at my last location-” He knocked you off balance, and you tripped over his discarded baton. You let out an angry, inhuman sound when your palms slammed into the compacted gravel. You flipped over almost immediately, already reaching back to grab your gun when a heavy boot connected with your face. “Fuck!” You fired off a single shot but missed when the man landed a solid kick to your ribs. You dropped the gun, arms immediately moving to cover your abdomen to protect yourself from his unforgiving blows. You heard the gun skittering across the pavement and were suddenly acutely aware of the ever-shrinking number of weapons you had left at your disposal. You pulled a small blade from a hidden holster at your belt and sliced it across the man’s Achilles' tendon, and he let out an animalistic howl of pain. Blinded by white-hot rage, he brought his baton down on you over and over again. You tried your best to gain back your control over the situation, but he got the drop on you. Black spots dotted your vision. That was when Venom came sliding down the rooftop.

“Oh shit.” This stopped the man in his tracks.

“What seems to be the problem here?” The question might’ve sounded neutral enough, but Venom was circling the man like a shark after its prey, eyeing him as if he couldn’t decide which part to eat first.

The man gulped, seemingly aware of his hopeless situation. That didn’t stop him from trying to talk his way out of it. “This crazy bitch is trying to kill me.”

“Hmm, I wonder why.” Venom smiled big. He ran his tongue across the front of his teeth before biting the man’s head clean off at the shoulders. “I never liked the taste of pig.” Venom turned, partially revealing Eddie’s face to you. “You okay?”

You coughed, clutching at your ribs in pain before spitting out blood. Should ribs move this way? Gingerly reaching your fingers under your mask, you touched your face, and you could feel the print left by the man’s heavy work boots. Nose is definitely not supposed to bend that way. The world grew fuzzy and dark. “No.” You mumbled, before fading away.

Venom immediately retreated back into Eddie. Eddie paled, staring at your limp figure that was now slumped back against the squad car of Venom’s most recent snack. He shook his head, forcing himself back into the moment.

Eddie rushed forward, gently placing his hands against your rib cage. Two, maybe three, broken? Carefully, he picked you up and carried you out of the alley.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.” Eddie muttered.

I can heal her, Eddie.

I need to get her somewhere safe.

And Venom took over again, holding you close to his chest, bounding from rooftop to rooftop until he reached Eddie’s apartment. He slid down the side of the building and landed on the sidewalk before melting away until Eddie was all that was left.

Eddie carried you up the stairs, adjusting his grip on you every few steps. He was afraid to drop you or bump your ribs the wrong way. He had to fight the urge to stop and check your breathing every two minutes. When he finally got you inside, he laid you down gently on his couch and checked your pulse.

Allow me.

Your eyebrows scrunched up when Venom vanished into your skin. Something cold wrapped itself around Eddie’s heart and squeezed as he watched Venom mend your broken bones.

- - -

When you woke up, you were warm. Wrapped in a blanket that smelled like a laundry detergent you’d never used. You opened your eyes slowly, afraid of the pain you knew you’d be in and the bruises that most definitely covered your body.

“Hey, good morning,”

Instantaneously forgetting to move slowly, your eyes flew open and you shot up into a seated position. “Venom?”

“Uhh…” He hesitated. “You can just call me Eddie.”

“I don’t remember any- Where-”

“You’re in my apartment, you were hurt really bad. I carried you here,” You turned to face Eddie, surprised to see him on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. “Venom healed you.”

Your hands flew to your face when you realized that Eddie was doing nothing to obscure his face from your view. “Oh no, no, don't worry,” Eddie reached out his hands in a calming gesture. You relaxed when your fingertips met the material that still covered your face. “I left your mask on. Never saw your face. Venom just attached to you for long enough to fix your broken bones.”

“Thanks,” You murmured. You looked around at his apartment. “Nice place.” Then you looked out the window. The moon was shining. “How long was I out?”

“It’s just been a couple hours.” He frowned down at his phone. “It’s 3 AM right now.”

You nodded, unsure of what to say next. You’d never interacted with Venom outside of kicking the shit out of assholes, and this was your first time meeting just Eddie.

Say something to her.

No, what the fuck? Let her go back to sleep.

“My face hurts.” And suddenly your eyes welled with tears. You squeezed them shut, glad to be wearing a mask.

“I can get you some Tylenol.”

Your lower lip quivered. “I can’t swallow pills.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” Eddie smiled at you. “I have these bad boys.” He set a small packet of dissolving Tylenol powder on your knee.

A laugh/sob combo clawed its way out of your throat when you picked up the packet. “Thanks.” You tore it open and flipped up the bottom part of your mask so that the lower half of your face was uncovered.

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

“N-nothing.”

“What.”

“Your face…” Eddie trailed off. “Are you… Wait here. Don’t move.” He practically leapt to his feet, rushing off to another room before returning with baby wipes and a first aid kit. “Do you want me to clean you up?”

You froze. “How do I know you won’t tell anyone who I am?”

“You know me now.” His smile was lopsided. Cute. “If I expose you, you expose me. Even trade.”

You silently pulled the mask off your face.

Eddie failed to hide his grimace. “That bad, huh?” You joked. He smiled apologetically, not bothering to stumble over his words in a feeble attempt to convince you that he never made a face. You appreciate that about him.

You made space for Eddie on the couch, sitting with your legs crossed. Eddie sat facing you, one leg pulled up between you and the other hanging over the edge.

“I mean, you took a boot to the face. It’s to be expected.” Eddie gently wiped your face, careful to not rub too hard.

Five minutes later, he had a small pile of red and pink-tinged wipes next to him and was diligently working at bandaging the scrapes on your face. You found yourself staring into his eyes until he met your gaze, at which point you would quickly look everywhere but him.

“You’re really pretty.” The words fell from his lips and he looked almost surprised at himself for letting them escape. Your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Eddie had refused to bring you a mirror, but you could feel the swelling around your left eye and the many band-aids that Eddie had applied with care. “That’s not funny.”

“Wasn’t a joke.”

The two of you sat in silence for a few more moments, until he moved the first aid kit aside and leaned back, satisfied with the care he’d given you. You fumbled with your mask, running your fingers over the stained material. “Thank you, you really didn’t have to do this.”

“Isn’t this what friends are for?”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Friends?”

“Yeah, I mean… we’ve been a team for a few months now, I’d say we’re friends.” Eddie didn’t meet your gaze. He couldn’t. Eddie had never wanted to speculate on what you looked like underneath the mask, or who you were during the day. Nothing he imagined could compare with what little he already knew about the kind of person you were, so why bother making something up? He’d also never asked. You wore a mask for a reason, Eddie reminded himself. He wanted to respect your privacy. But maybe… Maybe part of him was worried about what he’d find out about you if he ever bothered to do any digging. If he got to know who you were, he might find out something he didn’t want to know. Maybe you had a partner of the non-ass-kicking variety. A life partner. 2.5 kids and a dog in a yard with a white picket fence. I could eat the dog. Shut up. All of the above. Any of the above. It’d crush him. So yeah, he couldn’t bring himself to look at you for too long, because if he did, all he could think about was the next time he’d get to see you without the mask. Eddie already knew you were a fantastic person and a fucking badass. But to top it all off… You were beautiful. He never gave himself permission to wonder what you looked like, but seeing you here, now, you were better than anything he could’ve imagined anyway. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything was just so you. It was too much. You needed to leave. Or maybe he should leave. You were the one who had broken ribs 5 hours ago-

“Eddie.” Your voice pulled him out of his spiral and he looked at you. And then you told him your name. Your real name.

He repeated it after you. “Sounds familiar, do I know you from somewhere?”

“No, you’d remember if you did.” You smiled at him in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

Eddie laughed nervously, and the silence settled around you once more. You thrummed your fingers against your thigh, an anxious habit of yours that Eddie had clocked during your first few nights working together. “Can I-” Eddie cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Can I… can we,” Was it hot in here? Eddie tugged at his shirt collar. “Can we maybe see each other again, without the masks sometime?”

“Maybe in a restaurant?” Venom piped up.

“Dude! Can you shut up?”

I’m helping you, Eddie!

You smiled wide, accidentally tearing open a few of the cuts that had begun to clot. “Ow. Oh, fuck.” You and Eddie reached for a nearby roll of gauze at the same time and your fingers brushed together. “Sorry.” The two of you whispered. Eddie took the gauze and pressed it against your broken skin, holding it there. You looked up at him, but he was staring intently at your injuries. “Yeah. That’d be fun.”

This drew his attention back to you. “Really? So… you don’t have 3 adorable kids and a dog in a suburb somewhere?”

“No,” You smiled. “I’m more of a cat person.”

“Ah.” He smiled back. “Me too.”

#reader insert #fanfiction #marvel fanfic #fanfic #eddie brock #venom #eddie brock fanfic #venom fanfiction #tom hardy #tom hardy characters #x reader #eddie brock x reader

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chaosduckies · 8 months ago

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Restoration (Chapter 3)

I have no idea how I keep making the chapters even longer. I just somehow do. But, enjoy!

Word Count: 4,600

CW: Fear, mentions of death, panic attacks, reference to someone as an “it”, overthinking, slight trigger warnings

3-Nathan

When my mom finally came home from work yesterday, I was expecting her to get her plate of dinner and sit down on the couch putting on The Golden Girls like she usually does. What I wasn’t expecting was that she’d be getting a call from my teacher Mrs. Kay. The worst part about it was that they acted like they were such friends. Joking around and laughing. Had they even met each other? Most likely if my mom had kept it a secret that Mrs. Kay actually knew what happened to us in the past. Was mom the one who put me in that horrid class? No, she wouldn’t do anything against my will. Not unless she knew I would be ready for it.

They had talked on the phone for what seemed like hours. I was guessing Mrs. Kay was asking questions about me since my mom had mentioned me multiple times in their conversation, but I was raised not to ever eavesdrop. As I would be punished accordingly. But I wasn’t in that hell hole anymore. And I guess my fear was still pretty bad if I still thought I would be tortured for listening in on a conversation. What made anyone think I could even go to school with giants?

When I had woken up the next morning, it was to the sweet smell of my moms famous pancakes. The one dad always loved before we were kidnapped. I cringed at the thought, but forced myself out of bed and ready for the day, putting on a light purple shirt with a button up, blue sweater my mom bought me last month, and black jeans. I never wear anything that shows my arms. For good reason too.

I rushed down to the kitchen, where my mom had already place my plate on the very right edge of the kitchen island, giving a happy smile to me, “Morning, Sweetie.”

“What the occasion mom?” I laughed, taking my seat and staring down the pancake on my plate. She had always made them the best. Incomparable to even IHop’s pancakes.

“Oh well, I’m sure you can guess why. Last night I was told you were doing a little project with someone. As far as I knew you hadn’t made any friends, so I was getting worried, but now I know you were just embarrassed to tell me.” She giggled. What? Was she talking about Ryker. Oh no. No. Nononono. Not in a million years would I ever trust a giant ever again. Not after what they put my mom and I through.

“N-No! We’re not f-f-friends.” I stuttered, suddenly feeling bad for saying it out loud. Why? I was only speaking the truth. But that didn’t leave a very satisfying taste in my mouth once the words rolled of my tongue.

“Nate, your teacher told me some interesting things about that boy. Ryder was it? He really does sound like a nice guy. Maybe give him a chance? I know it’s hard for you honey.” She hugged me, her grip loose and weak, and planted a kiss on my forehead, giving a sad smile before digging into her breakfast. Now even my mom was saying that he was really nice. How was I supposed to believe that? For all I know all of those acts could have been acting. The little incident at lunch, him trying to talk to me, what if he was just trying to gain my trust to eventually backstab me? Just the thought was making my hands sake as I reached for my fork. I’d only have to hope that today doesn’t go wrong.

Mrs. Kay had told Ryker and I before we left to meet in her room, or more specifically the little office that was in her classroom. It was right by the many newsletters and papers that hung on to the wall presenting various fights and political issues in the city. I try not to pay attention, but we all knew that there was a growing number of riots all around from bother giants and humans.

I headed into her room, seeing that her room was crowded with what seemed like hundred of other students trying to find their partner. I was almost stepped on a few times had I not been practically running to get to the mini office in the back of the classroom. I guess that was just pure luck. Now I just have to hope that that luck pays off in here.

Inside, there was a teacher desk where currently my teacher was sitting at, looking at something on her computer. I turned my gaze somewhere else, seeing that there were two student desks, both with the same elevators for a human to get on top of one. Ryker was sitting at the one on the far right. There were piles of paper on the floor that looked like it needed to be read through and put in order and graded, and some magazines with a picture of one of the people from the riots on the front cover.

A quick glance back to the crowded room, and I was now face first with the elevator I was guessing I was supposed to take. Mrs. Kay nor Ryker even knew I was here, so if I wanted to back out and hide in the bathroom, now would be the time. Let’s see, if I did decide to hide in restrooms, someone is bound to find me and take me to the principal, but at least I wouldn’t be taken around everywhere like some pet, but my mom would hear about it and she would be mad at me. If I didn’t hide, Ryker would most likely try to keep talking to me and eventually forget I was even there. Maybe. If he doesn’t forget I’m there, he might want to mess around with my like I’m some kind of toy or plaything.

Both options were equally as bad. A tough decision to make, but I don’t exactly want my mother to have gone through all of this trouble for me to have a “normal” life, just for me to quit not even a quarter of the way through. That was cruel. But on the other hand, it would be even more cruel to be subdued to that same torture for who knows how long again. Forget it. Everyone’s going through all of this just for me, so I’ll make sure it’s not in vain. Maybe. If I can get through this.

I walked into the elevator, hand hovering over the same dreadful button I see everyday. I suck in a deep breath, pressing the buttons before changing my mind, and instantly regretting every single one of my choices. Wouldn’t I just be bothering these people? Ryker wouldn’t be bothered by me? As far as I know he’s already frustrated with me not even talking to him, and now I have to stick with him the entire school day in order for me to make it out alive. Maybe even literally.

Unconsciously, I pressed my back up against the back elevator wall, sliding down and holding my head between my knees. Everything felt dizzy, and it wasn’t because of my fear of heights. Was I having a panic attack? No, I would be breathing harder and I wouldn’t be able to think. It was just a little breakdown. In front of my teacher and potential kidnapper. Great introduction for the first day, Nathan. I hissed in my head, trying to stand back up, using the railing to hold myself up on shaky legs. There were a pair of eyes on me, and oddly enough it didn’t feel like a stab right to my back. No time to think about that when I was struggling to just keep my balance.

After struggling to regain my balance, I looked out where the elevator gate was open, revealing a huge black box I’m pretty sure was Ryker’s phone, his hand grabbing it and stuffing it in his pocket. I let out a quiet squeak as his hand moved fast, making me instinctively move back, and once again my back was pressed up against the wall. I made the wrong decision.

My heart was beating fast, and my thoughts were all jumbled up. Any chance of thinking clearly was gone, and now I was trapped inside the elevator unless they wanted to force me out. How can I become friends with someone who was much, much bigger than I was? Would he even want to? Or was he like those sadistic jerks that just want to mess around and act like we were just toys?

There were muffled voices outside, but I wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying, more worried about how I would get out of here. I had calmed down enough to somewhat get thoughts through. If I make a run for it they could easily stop me. If I don't’ run they’ll force me out and punish me for not listening. Wait no- It’s a school why would they hurt a student? Were they even allowed to? Oh wait that’s off topic-

“Hey, um, Nathan? Are you okay?” It was Ryker’s voice. Just as soft as I remember. Too bad I was not in any condition to answer. I most definitely was not okay. Not in the least, and yet I still somehow found myself in this situation. If anything, him knowing I was there only made my heart race faster and my trembling even more severe.

The room stayed silent for a while as I calmed myself down. The first bell rang, signaling that there were five minutes until first period started, and I immediacy felt regret. I was going to make him late because I couldn’t even make it past this stupid elevator. Great. Even more guilt. But even more of a reason for me to get out. I was calmed down enough, and surprisingly I didn’t have a complete panic attack. Now the only thing I have to get past was how he would be carrying me.

Taking one step at a time, I made my way to right in front of Ryker, occasionally tripping over my own feet and catching my balance at the last second, but I made it. I never lifted up my head, scared that I would lose any and all confidence that remained in me if we hade made eye contact. Especially when I had the feeling he would know that I was really, really terrified for my life.

“Ryker? You can handle the rest?” I hear Mrs. Kays ecstatic voice, typing away at her computer. I jumped seeing him move his hand slightly towards me, shutting my eyes tightly and expecting for him to grab me like I used to be, or even dangled in the slightest, but it never came. To my complete and utter shock, he laid his hand palm up on the very edge of the desk, waiting for me to approach. I gulped. I had never done this before.

I had always been grabbed or dangled around, never given the option of being held. It was either in a tight fist that usually resulted in a few broken ribs, or casually being used as a toy for kids. I shuddered at the memory.

Still, this was a surprise. I wasn’t expecting this, and now I felt insecure about how to get on. Do I just jump? Walk? Run? I mean the guy from yesterday had just dragged me on, so this is technically my first time. He just jumped right on. Could I do the same? But Ryker knows Lucky. He doesn’t know me. Maybe only people who Ryker knows are allowed to do that.

Curse my overthinking.

I waited for Ryker to get impatient with me, but it never happened. His hand stayed still, never once reaching for me in anticipation. Maybe a minute had gone by. Th longest minute of my life, but that’s when he eventually gave a sympathetic look towards me, “Have you done this before?” Not willingly, no.

I shook my head almost immediately with no hesitation, feeling terrible for making him wait this long. I dug my head in my hands, feeling all the extra wight of guilt on my shoulders. I’m ruining everything.

“No it’s… it’s fine. Just whatever makes you comfortable.” He told me, a hint of sadness in his tone. What would he sad about?

I took shaky steps to the edge, seeing how I should do this and eventually just walking on. I mean, it worked out, but I fell face first into the fleshy surface. Somehow this wasn’t the first time that I’ve face planted into Ryker’s palm. He let out a chuckle, “You okay?”

How do I even begin to answer? Words were not enough to express the amount of fear that was building up inside me. Not even enough to describe red my face turned from embarrassment. This was the worst feeling ever, but I still managed a weak nod before settling in the center of his hand, trying to stay away from all possible ways to fall down to my imminent death. Not something I would like to enjoy.

He slowly stood up, grabbed his backpack and headed down the hall to his next class that really wasn’t even that far from this one. At least it wasn’t far for him.

There were tons of students in this class, making me feel insecure and tiny. I wasn’t used to being around this many giants. Especially ones that seemed to notice me and give out looks. But they weren’t directed to me. All directed to Ryker, who just sighed and headed to his seat like he didn’t have a care in the world how others looked at him like he was some wild animal. How does he do that?

I was expecting him to just throw me onto the desk, but he let his palm down, letting me get off safely without spraining an ankle or getting the wind knocked out of me. I would have thanked him had I not been terrified. I stood awkwardly on his desk, my thoughts a jumbled up mess. What do I do? I mean of course I have my own work to do on the computers we were given, but I was talking about what do I do now that I was on the desk.

Ryker was pulling out a journal and a book from his backpack and placed them near me, but not so close that I jumped in fear of him dropping that onto me. He glanced in my direction, flashed a smile and dug out whatever else he needed for this class. I looked down, noticing that I was pretty much smack in the middle of his desk. I was in his way.

Before my knees gave out on me, I hurried to the edge of the desk, and forced myself not to look down at the impossible height I was at. I felt stares, but most weren’t directed at me. I groaned to myself, hating the fact that I was being watched. They were just curious, but I’d rather not have to worry about someone constantly having me under their eye. It didn’t feel right.

The final bell rang, and that’s when class had started.

I didn’t even realize how shaky I was until Ryker lightly tapped on the desk in front of me, making me flinch and avert my attention to him. He flashed a sad smile, giving a thumb up as if asking if I was okay. I most definitely was not, but I forced myself to give a shaky nod and pulled out my computer.

Every so often I would jump or react when he had moved to grab something near me or was just flipping a page. I was doing a pretty good job since I haven’t ran off yet. Not that I could without having twenty pairs of eyes on me. Otherwise, everything was going great.

In all honesty, it really wasn’t too bad if I just did the same things over and over again. Ryker took me to his classes, I had somehow never failed to fall face first the second I took a step onto his palm, resulting in him asking if I was okay. During his classes, I moved out of his way before he ended up getting annoyed with me, which I was expecting but never came. Odd. But there was no way I was going to test his patience. It could all go downhill from there.

For lunch, I just sat with at the table Ryker usually sits at, trying to make it easier on him. Both of us never ate lunch apparently. He sat on his phone, while I just finished up some notes from my physics class. He didn’t try to make a conversation with me, only the occasional yes or no questions. If I was okay. Did I want to move. Those sorts of things.

What didn’t sit right with me was how he flashed me sad looks every time I moved away from him or when I jumped. It’s like he felt bad for making me feel scared. Why? It was so weird to see how he cared so much about how I felt when I cared so much about how he felt towards me. Wasn’t he annoyed with having to take care of me? I would be if I had to constantly carry about something that didn’t even look grateful for the help.

The rest of the day was easy. He had his seventh period off, taking us to the library along with four other people who were currently playing Uno. He let me on the ground where there was an entrance to the human side of the library, telling me that I was probably tired of being around him all day and I could have some time alone if I wanted to.

So now here I was in a quiet library where two teachers were talking about something and I just sat here trying to stay calm. Only forty more minutes and I was free. Eight more school days and I wouldn’t have to do this ever again hopefully. Good. I could barely keep up with one day, let alone the rest of the school year? Nope. I do not want that on my to-do list.

It was three minutes before the bell rang, and I decided not to keep Ryker waiting like this morning. It was rude, and I really didn’t want him to be late because I couldn’t even get on his hand without going under a breakdown. I’m just lucky he hasn’t even mentioned anything about this morning.

I walked back into the library, seeing that the people who were playing Uno already left for class while Ryker was sitting down on the couch reading that same book he took out this morning. He didn’t seem bothered at all. Well, that might change after carrying me around for two weeks.

I looked around, trying to find a way to get on the table or really anything to stand up on for him to see me, but there was nothing. There were no elevators in this library. Heck. What do I do now though? The bell’s going to ring soon and Ryker doesn’t even realize. Of course everything has to go downhill right when it’s almost the end of the day. Life hates me.

Yelling was under no circumstance an option. Getting closer to him wasn’t either. I’d just have to hope he realizes soon enough. And luckily, he closes his book and looks towards the door that leads to the human side and sees me. Good. I was not about to yell for him to notice me. Not at all.

He shoved the book in his backpack before standing up and walking slowly towards me, but I couldn’t stop the quiet squeak that escaped my mouth. He was tall. Really, really tall. Even for a giant. How did I not realize this sooner? My breath hitched in my throat as I looked down to the ground. Seeing him sitting at a desk was one thing, but him standing up to his full height while I was on the ground? Not something I wanted to see.

He must have caught on because he crouched down, holding a hand out. Either that or he just wanted to get going. I hurried on, hoping he wouldn’t catch that I was trembling extremely violently.

“Sorry. Were you waiting long?” He asked me. I bit the side of my cheek, shaking my head. I lied.

As soon as the last class of the day started, Mrs. Kay walked in looking cheery as always, “How’d everyone’s day go?” She had asked, earning a few answers from students. Apparently they all had a great time. It’s because they were already friends and used to this.

“I’m glad you all enjoyed it. Today is a free day, so finish up whatever work you have in other classes or talk with your partner. Get to know one another.”

The whole room was bustling with bright conversation while I still couldn’t even say one word to Ryker. A part of me really wanted to. I mean, I was being rude by not actually giving any effort at all to talk, but at the same time I feel like I would just be more annoying to him.

Mrs. Kay came over to us, smiling and keeping her posture as she checked on students as she came down the isle. I winced, already knowing what might happen. She’s going to tell us to talk. Ryker has only asked me simple questions today, and I always either nodded my head or shook it. Meaning I haven’t spoken a single word to him for the week and half. Honestly, I was kind of jealous that others could laugh and joke around with their partners while I couldn’t so much as open my mouth to speak. Some great partner, huh?

“How did today go you two?”

I didn’t bother looking, too embarrassed to answer. Ryker was about to complain to her about everything that was wrong with me and there was nothing I could do about it. Because he isn’t wrong, even if I don’t know what he’ll say. I was weak, pathetic, scared, my bones were even more breakable than a normal humans because of how many times they’ve been broken in the past, I was a lot shorter than the average human, I wasn’t strong. You’re broken. That last thought hangs in the back of my mind and leaves a sour taste on my tongue.

Who knew, maybe he would get an actual partner that could keep a conversation with him. Or to entertain him long enough. Just get me out of here already so I can-

“It was good.” Was all Ryker answered with, and I could somehow hear the smile on his face.

I didn’t know if this was some kind of trick or not, but if it is, then it’s awful. He has to be lying. There has to be something he can say other than “it’s good.” Seriously. I’m pretty sure Ryker grew tired of my at some point in time.

“And how about you Nathan?” The question directed to me.

What do I answer? “I didn’t die?” Or “All my limbs are intact.” Or my body answers for me instead, nodding shakily as I eye the elevator door. Maybe I could get out of here? No one would notice, and as long as Ryker wasn’t looking I could just slip away… No. There’s only about twenty minutes left of class. I can hopefully survive until then.

“Have you two talked at all?” Mrs. Kay asked, a hint of anxiousness in her tone. It’s because she knows from my mom. That’s what my mom was talking to her about. How I reacted to being around giants. Great. Because I needed more people trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

I didn’t bother knowing if Ryker nodded or shook his head. I hated my overthinking. So, so much. All terrible possible outcomes, and that’s all I can think about. That I’ll never live the life I used to live ever again. That no one will figure out whatever was wrong with me. That I’ll never be able to trust a person again. I miss the days when dad would just lie down with me on the cold, metal floor of our cage and keep telling me everything was alright when nothing was.

Wait.

Why was I talking about that?

I wish my overthinking would just go away.

“Hmm. Alright. I said these next two weeks would be fun, and I have the best idea for that.” She giggled, but I could hint that little bit of worry hidden in her words. This wasn’t going to end well for me.

She walks up to the front of the room, “I really wasn’t planning on everyone getting along so well right away, but this is apparently a faster class, so, here’s a little fun I’ve thought of!” She started off, “I want you to go to to each other’s houses. Or, more specifically your bigger partner.” She joked, and a couple laughed along.

But this wasn’t funny to me. Apparently not to Ryker either. We both stared wide-eyed at our teacher, probably both wondering the same thing. Why did she do this?

There really was no way out of this. I thought I would pass by these next eight days with just having to deal with school, but now I have to go to his house? What would his parents think of me? I’m literally bothering him afterschool and that’s probably his time to destress and not be bothered by anyone, which was the complete opposite of what I’d be doing.

“Now, it can be anytime between now and next Friday. You are not required to stay over for the night, but I would like either one of your parents to sign off, proving that it happened. If there are any problems, please take it up with me after class.”

She smiled, and sat down at her desk, probably making the slips we were now supposed to get signed by either one of our parents. But, as I looked back to Ryker, he didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look happy either. His hands were clenched into fists, he was biting the inside of his cheek, and I did not like how close his hands were to me.

Soon enough, the class was filled with excited conversation again. I somehow worked up the courage to turn around, and Ryker was staring out the window, and then his eyes met mine, making me jump. Great turn of events. I wasn’t expecting that.

“How do you feel about being in a house with five other people?” He awkwardly asked, worry encasing every word he said. I quickly shook my head. No. Five people? So him… his parents… does that mean he has two other siblings? Oh heck. No. No this cannot be happening. I can’t even handle one person let alone five?

Ryker gave a sad smile, “Sorry litt-… Nathan. I’ll just tell her afterschool that you don’t feel comfortable with this. I’m not going to force you.”

I had no idea what he was going to call me before, but I didn’t care. I was more shocked at how he willingly offered to tell Mrs. Kay for me that I couldn’t do this. Why?

Maybe he wasn’t that bad after all.

—————————————

Wow. That’s long. But thank you for reading! I hope you’re all enjoying reading this just as much as I am writing it! I promise the next chapter will really explain a lot. For now, enjoy this last-minute drawing I did of Nathan.

#g/t #G/t writing #G/t art #g/t community #sfw g/t #my art #gt #Oc:Nathan #Oc:Ryker #G/t angst #G/t fearplay #restoration #I surprised myself with how long that chapter was #I think I’m going to do something a little special for the next chapter #I’m glad you’re all enjoying this!#Giant/tiny

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