#then my coworker was kind of annoying me what w her leaving at random times and all

[missmeinyourbones]

Headcanons for Porco? 👉👈🤍

annoying. thats it.

LMFAO IM KIDDING but serious

hes not the type to be overprotective or handsy, but he 100% always has his eye on you if that makes sense. like he’d never say no to you leaving his side at a gathering to go chat w some friends, he’s kissing ur temple and telling u to have fun, but he’s absolutely keeping his eye on you as you move around the room from group to group. he knows exactly when to step in or grab you from a situation. ive talked about him being the fun police & this kinda goes hand in hand w that. he likes being responsible for you in a way thats comforting, not overbearing <3

i think of him as being ur personal garbage disposal. let me explain. like whatever food you dont eat, he will 100% shovel it down for you. like if you go out to eat and ur too full to finish ur meal and dont want to package it to take home, he’s like ugh just gimme ur plate and finishes it. or if you get something that you dont like or has something you pick off of it, he’s automatically offering to switch meals with you or biting off the pieces you dont like you so can eat the rest of it unbothered

i picture him being a really big jay z fan ...... LMFAO PLEASE. like he loves the idea of him being like the “god of rap” so i see him knowing all of his songs and shit. he raps them in the car and sings them in the shower. hes like baby im jay z and ur like my beyonce <3 thinking its cute and then ur like didnt he cheat on her ??? and hes like 🤕 ok statement is redacted i meant it in a cool way

GOSSIPER. a little messy bitch. absolutely LOVES talking shit w you. automatically hates people you dont like or have an issue with. even if you dont hate them, he does. you have a tiny argument w ur coworker one time and now every time you mention them casually he’s like oh you mean our nemesis? we hate him >:( or you fight w a close friend ONE time and rant to him about it, and now every time you go to hangout w them hes like hey remember that one time they did you dirty? yea they can die for that

mf is the life of the party wherever he goes. you can always be sure that he will wedge himself into the center of a room. he’ll have people dying laughing at his stupid stories and jokes. he’s dancing like a moron in the middle of the club. he loves being the center of attention, and more often than not, u get roped into it too. like as he’s telling his stories and the crowd is hanging onto his every word, he has u sitting in his lap. he’s dancing like an idiot but he’s doing that cheesy lasso/rope move on you to get you to join him. i hate him fr 

i know it, u know it, everyone knows it. porco is a CAR GUY. his car is his baby (he claims second to you but sometimes ur really not sure LMFAO) he is obsessed w his car. constantly driving you two around in it, taking it to get washed, parking somewhere just to sit and talk in it. hes so picky about stuff in it hes like BABE dont spill that please :/ or can u not bend the aux chord like that :/ its helpful when something happens to ur own car tho bc he puffs out his chest and is like let me handle it 🖐🤨 does all of ur oil changes and fills ur tires. teaches u how to drive stick shift. u tell him u dont know what kind of windshield wipers you have and he loses his mind </3 

NOTE: these are so random and has been in my inbox forACTUALever so thank u for being patient / for this fun request! i hate him

[love4shinsou]

GASP! THREE ASKS IN ONE DAY! WHADDYA KNOW XD I'm just riled up for more headcannons of yours :D they're wonderful. But for now is fluff— How do the BNHA boys (Shoto, Bakugo, Izuku, Amajiki, Kirishima, and Dabi) handle an S/O that when jealous, gives them more attention and love than usual. Like a girl interacting with them and when they're gone they're all over them XD (You're choice if you want them to sneer, I prefer not to ^^')

Shoto

You two were just having a nice walk on a warm Saturday evening when this random girl came up to Shoto. She was quite racket too. .she was wearing crop top that was more like a bra and short shorts that could easily be mistaken for underwear. Shoto liked girls that knew how far to go with these things, and knew how much to cover up, but still flaunted what they had. This was definitely not a girl he would take the slightest interest in, but you though otherwise.

"Hey, Todoroki. I saw you in the sports festival and on T.V lately and I'm a fan~ Could you sign my chest??" She asked in a fliety tone while posting to her barely covered chest. Shoto was trying hard not to cringe. You grabbed his arm and held it tight, and pulled him down a little to kiss him on the lips, and on his cheek. He smiled and kissed your forehead.

The girl seemed shocked and even a little mad. She huffed nd walked away, thankfully. "Well, she was an. .experience." Shoto said to you. "Yeah. .i hope an experience we don't have to deal with anymore." You sighed. He chucked a bit and grabbed your hand, kissing it and continuing the nice walk.

Bakugo

He finally took you on a nice date on a Friday night. It took a lot of encouraging from Kirishima, but he took you to a nice, fancy restaurant.

You guys were having a good time, eting fancy food and Bakugo even being a little soft. (We all know he's secretly a soft boi, i mean. .come on)

When he was paying the check to be a nice boyfriend this girl in a ling red dress came up to him with a seductive smile. "Hey, your pretty hot. I've seen you around fighting villans and you look really cool. We should get out of here and find something a little more fun, eh??" She asked in a confident tone, like she was all that and shit.

Your smile wuickly feel and you latched onto him and started kissing his cheek and his hands. He was completely puzzled. He even had his "wait, what-" look on his face. The girl definitely didn't like this, but took the hint that you weren't going to let go, so she walked away and back to her group of friends were she told them all about you being annoying and not letting Bakugo go with her. Like he was going to do that anyways. 🙄

He was actually blushing. Being able to feel your lips on his skin and get so much affection out of nowhere.

When you two were leaving you passed the group of friends that included the girl. He stopped and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and smirked, thinking that he was about to take her somewhere to get fucked, but it was the complete opposite. "Hey, if you call my baby annoying again I'll make sure you get put in your fucking place you bitch." He growled before pulling you away.

You laid your head on his shoulder the whole drive back to the dorms and you both cuddled till you feel asleep while watching Netflix because Bakugo was being hella soft. UwU

Izuku

Uraraka was already very persistent with trying to get with Izuku, but now that you two were dating she was even more persistent. You weren't going to be the only one jealous.

You and Izuku were just chilling in the common room when Uraraka came busting in and sat next to Izuku. Which was fine with you two because you both had friends and you two weren't in the middle of anything, so you both started to talk amongst one another.

It was all chill until Uraraka started flirting with Izuku. And I mean flirting. She was calling him cute, and telling him how great he is at everything. Since Izuku got flustered by almost anything he blushed and thanked Uraraka. Now you were kinda triggered. You got up, and just Izuku thought ou were going to leave you sat down right in his lap. You straddled him and put his face to your chest. He blushed and looked up at you with a red face, but he was totally loving this.

Uraraka was completely shocked by this. Her mouth was wide and she was blushing herself. You didn't tell her to leave because you didn't think that she needed to, but you just wanted her to kbow that Izuku was yours and wasn't on sale. 👏👏🍵

He just kind of stayed there and was actually falling asleep. "Your comfy. .c-can I do this more often. ." He stuttered, his cheek pressed against your chest. You smiled at rubbed his head. "Mhm!!" You looked over at Uraraka and smiled sweetly. Yup, she wouldn't be trying anything any time soon.

Amajiki

You two were put on a date for boba tea!! The best thing to even exist. You two sat outside on a rainy day, under an umbrella the restaurant provided for outdoor seat of course and watched the rain fall, vibing and feeling aesthetic as hell.

You leaned in for a kiss, which made Tamaki blush, but he leaned in as well cuz your his girlfriend and he loves you when you were so rudly interrupted by the waitress who took your orders. "Hey, so you're super cute, so I was thinking we could go out sometime." The waitress with brown hair said, putting her hand on Tamaki's. This made him squeek and start studdering out what a response he couldn't quite get out. You looked at him and put your cup down. You cupped his squishy face with your hands and kissed his nose. He blushed furiously. "Y-y/n, w-what was that f-for. .!!" He stuttered out.

You giggled and hugged him, resting your head on his chest. He couldn't help but practically melt and rub your head. He looked back up at the waitress with a 'what do you think the answer is??' Kind of look, which took a lot of confidence on his part to do.

The waitress scoffed and walked away.

When you two were leaving she walked up to you both with two extra freshly made boba teas. "Here, one of my coworkers snitched on me about before, so my boss made me make you more boba. Here." She said, shoving the bobas towards you and Tamaki. You both gladly took themand thanked her, more like thanked her coworker and boos than her.

You two held hands all the way back to U.A because Tamaku felt so bad about the whole ordeal. You two drank some more boba tea and were just being the cutest couple at U.A you guys were.

Kirishima

You and Kirishima were granted permission to go to a gym outside of campus since the one they had at U.A was completely full, and you needed to get training in. Well, it's wants that full, it was mostly taken up by Bakugo's entitlement-

You held hands and kissed eachothers cheeks and were all giggly on the walk to the gyn, which wasn't that far from U.A actually, even though the school was literally on a big ass hill.

You trained first, Kirishima spotting you and helping you out of course. After a while of you training, you helped Kiri out with his. He trained a bit with you, fighting a bit, but not too much since it wasn't the U.A gym and then he started lifting waits and such.

You were currently spotting him on a bench press when you noticed another girl eyeing him as he lifted the waits. You ignored it and made sure he was still going strong, which of course he was. Hey, he's the manliest of men.

After he was done and he was thanking you with a kiss for spotting him the girl came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and being the nice guy he is he smiled and said hello. "Hello, can I help you with something, ma'am??" He asked sweetly, not expecting her to do what she was about to. "Sure can. I'm pretty hungry and you must be too, so I was thinking that you can take me out and let me have a bite of you. Seeing you work out over there has got me starving." The lady said, running her finger over Kirishima's bicep. He was totally shocked at this and had no idea how to respond. Nobody had said something like. .like that to him before.

At that moment you got in front of him and made grabby hands. He smiled and understood what you wanted, so he picked you up, resting your head on his shoulder. You gave him soft kisses on his shoulder and neck, making him sigh in content.

The girl grunted and walked back to whatever she was doing previously. You and Kirishima were quite done with this girls shit, you you just decided to leave, Kirishima holding you all the way back.

Dabi

The league of Villans were having a meeting with two other villans to see if they were 'good enough' to join the league.

You were sitting in Dabi's lap, not being you were jealous just because that's where he liked you. Shigaraki was currently trying to intimidate the villans, which he was actually doing pretty well.

At the end of the meeeting, the girl villan with long pink hair came up to Dabi with a blushy face. "Hello, you're scars are super cool, and you seem super cool as well. Maybe you would want to go out sometime??" She said in a soft tone, looking away from him.

He was about to say something when you got down on the floor and latched onto his leg, looking up at him and whining. He lost all interest in telling the girl of and squatting down, pulling you in his arms and holding you. He stode back up with you in his arms. "Yeah, so that's a no. And you also won't be going the league. You suck." He stated like it was nothing like he usually did.

Now, he would have gone to his room and fuck ya, but today he sat down on the couch and cuddle with you. Cone on, we all know that he's super clingy.

I think the Izuku one is my favorite- XD~Alex

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young

[tamiddyinyourcity]

1:04pm. Back to hell in an hour. :)

I overslept today, since yesterday was so much headassery. Between me having to stop a 6 foot 4 tall man from attacking an elderly man for calling him "Brian", his legal name, instead of his "spirutual name", Moses, since he 100% believes he is God and William Shakespeare reincarnated......

(As well as the grown man proceeding to shout at me that I was "nothing but a pretty face", [and i didnt even say anything????? i deadass was asking if he could sit down and talk this out, and he got furious about being stopped from attacking an old man?????], aaaand all sorts of condescension. Yaaaaaay.)

Then some random dipshits leaving without signing out, as if 10 seconds would have killed them. Other people having simple instructions such as "all you need to do is write your name, the time, and the room number you're visiting".

They'd write shit like

"Time: 5:10pm

Name: (fucking scribbled wingdingz)

Room number: (an alien number)

(Turn your head sideways)

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NUMBER IS THAT?????? I CANT EVEN TAKE A GUESS. HOW DOEs ONE WRITE THIS?

But lots of people are on substances around here, so I guess that's all I can really say.

After lots of condescension from my bosses, hearing how little my coworkers give a shit, and more....

Plus the needlessly rude or overly perverse people who live inside of the building....

A bitch gets annoyed.

I had to avoid drinking rosé last night, since I didn't wanna risk a hangover. But the feeling stuck this morning.

That's a little depressing.

That, factored in with my grandmother kicking the bed this morning like the stupid bitch she is, eating only big meal yesterday then going to bed eating nonstop Twix bars.....

And more...

I feel empty.

I don't like feeling empty.

Maybe after today, I can make a trip somewhere nice. Visiting another city for the day, or even just another asshole town. I haven't interviewed the homeless in ages....

Just something.

Since now that my relationship is finally resolved, I wanna do shit that used to make me happy. Wandering aimlessly. Living life. Feeling peace.

Just chillin in a forest with some cheese and some fruit, like in a Studio Ghibli movie.

(I could really use the destressing. Since I swear to god, I almost punched the guy at my job the other day. He's had it coming for awhile. He sexually harrasses any person he meets, and at the very least, is a pissbaby. Just ask my coworker, who had him repeatedly draw her when she was pregnant. Sweet, right? Until it was drawing her naked..... and doing perverse yoga positions. He then kept saying he would give the art to her in a frame.... and so forth. Even invited her and her husband over for "naked yoga sometime"... He is a white 55 year old, and the other girl is like.... 22. You gotta be rich for that to work, my dude.)

Also during the scuffle yesterday, he told me "I can't believe I almost would have fallen for a girl like you!" NIGGA, I AM N I N E T E E N .

And you are a weird, white Hotep-wannabe, with a santa clause beard and an underbite.

Go...... away.

Not a fan of white men who fetishize black women. At all.

Been there, done that.

Wish I saw the signs sooner, but it's not like I would complain about some dude with a decent job, decent arms, and an absurdly good taste in R&B and Rap/80s And Dad Rock Music wanting to fuck me senseless. (But, alas, they no longer are cute to me. Unless they pay for my food or can hold some intriguing compliments..... then they're a 4/10, at best. No man that disrespects black women is above average, ever; they're pathetic.)

Oh look, I just gave myself flashbacks to four different men. Nice. Lets move on before i depress myself even further.

So anyway, now it's 1:54pm.

My face feels like shit. I haven't nutted this morning. I am angsty. And extremely not looking forward to work.

Listening to this song uplifts my mood. :)

Back to Crack is the new Beethoven, honey.

And here's another one as well:

I gotta do something nice for myself today, unless I want to inevitable break down into tears. I already cried today at three different things, and I know that one of them was my ex. The other two? No fuckin idea. A bad dream?

Oh, right. I dreamed we were friends.

Alas, no longer possible.

This morning keeps getting worse and worse! A reminder of being unwanted by a guy I had feelings for? Check! Another reminder of all the guys who didnt want me as well past sexual? Yep! Damn, we are on a ROLL today.

I started writing since I thought, "Clearly, masturbating isnt working. Get your hand out your pants, wash them, and write a post. You always feel better after writing."

Aaaaaand do i?

I feel cynical. Which is slightly more amusing than being face down in bed, but I have no desire to be alive at the moment. Not even on some suicidal shit, just on some "yesterday was so draining that I feel like I should just stop moving entirely and let whatever happens next to me happen next", sorta day.

........

Hmm...... I should probably vlog soon.

About people in my life who I love. And the ones i hate, as well.

Interesting things happen to me, people do always enjoy hearing about shit I go through.

Like that time someone mailed me their best friend's severed dick in the mail, just for it to get lost. (Those people terrified me.... so much.)

"Crackhead John", the grown man with the temper of a 10 year old, who I had my first time with. (Grown as in "I was seventeen, he was nineteen and creepy for so many reasons outside of that", and has severe issues. He's like if you manifested a YouTube comment section troll from 2010 into a real human being, and let him sell cars, do cocaine, and screw minors.)

His dick was huge, if anyone wondered why I tolerated him.

Imagine finding out that a man has a huge dick, but absolutely no stroke...... Like....... Jesus.

Anyway, he's definitely top tier "black fetishizer", in hindsight. Fucking creep.

But whatever; he did the bare minimum requested of him, "help me remove this hymen so I can live a full successful life of being the hottest girl out there", and worked. He tried to seem so head over heels? He was pathetic. Yikes. :)

Hmmm.... I think the entire story of my ex Matty is amusing. Another case of a man in college, falling for the underage girl from the broken home. Using her for sex. (But in his defense, he did get creepily attached to me off the bat. A special type of peace comes from letting a guy ram your skull into his headboard a bunch of times, just for when the nut is done and you're ready to leave, he goes, "Wanna hang out a bit longer?" Cue playing Naked Nintendo together, lots of making out and sex, aaaand then going to Jack In The Box and eating food. I think he held my hand that day? Idk, but it was very cool.)

I think it was our either 2nd or 3rd hangout, but he made a picture of me and him his phone background. Was telling all his friends and family how *amazing* he saw me. We saw eachother almost every day. And then on days where my mom was getting to unstable levels, he let me come see him. Not only that, but promising he would take care of me the entire day, so I wouldn't have to lift a finger or stress myself out.

I had a large amount of feelings for that man.

So imagine my shock when he threw me away, on the EXACT day he told me "I want no one else, and nothing more than to just be with you and only you. Youre the only person I want".

Since not even seconds after I confirmed truly wanting to be serious as well..... He told his best friend, JaLeah, who he talks to over long distance.

Gushed all about being head over heels for me, excited to start our relationship.

......

She didn't handle that well.

Long story short, I got messaged over discord, right as I was admiring the photos of our dates and intimate moments shared over Google Drive, that he lost all feelings for me and decided to date JaLeah instead.

Claimed that all we had together was nothing, and that he actually realized he was in love with JaLeah.

All of his "love" for me, dropped like a fly, since some other bitch decided to say she liked him and throw a fit at the RIGHT MOMENT. One three hour phone call was all it took! He goes from being in love with me and going raw in da puss puss, to willingly giving up everything between us for the sake of having a long distance, Snapchat Only relationship with this girl......

Fucking cunt.

I did almost die over this. Tried some tacticd and methods, had luckily failed. Stabbing myself in the wrist with a pen out of rage did nothing but injure my wrist for maybe a few weeks, or a month. Not fun. I might've attempted starvation, but I never do it to punish myself, just since I either feel like a blockage in my stomach stops me from eating when stressed.... or, IBS.

All his friends and family were PISSED. They LOVED my adorable ass. His friends nonstop vouched for me, and read his ass for filth. His dad dragged him out of bed at midnight to shout at him, but eventually cooled down, asking if he genuinely thought it was a good idea to leave me.... a girl he had been in love with and seeing nonstop for a month or more straight.... (yes, short time period, i know. but it was almost every day, so it shouldnt be hard to picture falling for someone you bang every single day for a month straight, as well as 8 hour hangouts, meeting their family, friends, and going on dates with.)

I believe they're still dating, to this day.

Good for them.

I told them maybe a year ago that I fucked his best friend. Long story short, he has trust issues now. Yay.

Rule number one to be a boss ass bitch: never let a clown nigga try to play you.

If he play you, then rule number two.....

Yall know the rest. Look up the original song lol.

And of course, more and more stories of men I dated who had conflict avoidant personalities. I wonder why I attract those types? I like sweet, sensitive dudes, and funny guys.

But damn, WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE THE ONES TO ABANDON ME THOOOOOOOUGH?

Like.... yall really aint helping my abandonment issues, honestly. :)

Anyway. 2:30pm. Time to go to work. :)

Here is another song about men sucking that relate to this topic. Enjoy.