#then maybe you just don't give a shit about antisemitism

[faggotry-enjoyer]

there is SO MUCH bullshit going on at this university and i want to talk about it on here so bad but it's too specific to do so without coming dangerously close to full on doxxing myself

[alexthebordercollie]

Ford's autism

K so I don't think I need to defend the interpretation Ford is on the spectrum. People make jokes about him being autistic all the time. We all see it. What I want to do here is sort of connect together some character details and examine them through the lense of my own autistic experiences.

I wanna start with his hands. It's an observation I've seen from multiple people that Ford is insecure about his hands and often hides them behind his back or in his pockets. And yeah, he is obviously insecure about them. He even mentions his six fingers at times when they aren't really relevant to anything. It just showcases the space this physical deviation of his takes up in his mind. And yes, it makes sense that he's insecure about them because he was bullied for them growing up. I want to add to this observation.

Ford would have been bullied regardless.

The problem was never really his hands. When you're on the spectrum people around you can tell that you're weird. Uncanny. Something is different and feels wrong about you to NT people, especially kids. They will pick any shallow superficial thing they can find as an excuse to bully you and justify the sense of revulsion they feel around you but can't articulate. If Ford had been born with normal hands they just would have made fun of him for something else, it would have been his glasses, or the movies he liked, or hell maybe some good old-fashioned antisemitism. Literally, any excuse they could find.

I know growing up I tried for years to change the things about me that I was made fun of for and it never made things any better. The bullying never stopped. "Fixing" things about myself didn't work because the thing that was actually "broken" was something fundamental to who I am. That realization as a kid was soul-crushing. That there was nothing I could do that would ever make me "normal", that would ever make people like me. I felt like an alien born on the wrong planet.

Ford continues to latch onto his hands as a sore spot because they're something simple and obvious he can point to as an excuse for why he's so outcast. He probably knows by this point that the hands aren't actually the problem. I'd argue this journal entry and his comment about "another failed social interaction" shows that he's aware his hands aren't actually the problem. But, it is a lot easier to fixate on those than to dwell directly on that sinking feeling that at the core of you're being you are fundamentally weird, wrong, unlovable. Ford's a genius. If his polydactyly bothered him that much he could have removed the extra digits. The hands aren't the problem, they're a symbol of a more fundamental kind of pain.

Looking at it through this context also makes the gloves Fiddleford gives him an extra sweet gift given what they represent. A kind of wholehearted acceptance of who Ford is and even a willingness to adapt to his unique needs just to show him love and affection. I think something that hurts me so much about their relationship is that Ford had someone who very clearly loved him as is and would have never wanted him to be someone or something else, and Ford was too stubborn to fully appreciate that.

The same is true of Stanely by the by. He never had a problem with his brother being weird. Another relationship with someone who loved Ford as is but who Ford took for granted. He needs these kinds of relationships in his life. People who embrace and accept him for the weirdo he is. He needs them desperately, which gets me to my next point.

Ford's ego. So it's also a common observation that Ford has a massive ego. He's kind of an ass, to put it mildly. But I have had someone in conversation frame it like the pressure to prove themselves was just on Stanley and Ford just spent his whole life being hyped up and told he was hot shit. This isn't true, or at least it's a flattening of his experiences.

Ford was praised for his genius. This is true. But his own father only gave a shit when said genius showed signs of netting material gains for the family. It only mattered cause Ford could be useful. Furthermore, this genius never netted him social acceptance from his peers growing up. He was still a bullied, weirdo, loser most of his childhood. Add that seeing Stanley kicked out would have drilled into Ford's head that if he couldn't make something out of himself his family wouldn't want him either. Stan was an unspoken threat of what this family does to failures.

Gonna bring up my own personal experiences again. Having set the stage for how it feels growing up on the spectrum. That feeling of alienness that you can't really explain. I loved to write and draw from a very young age. Moreover, as I got older I realized that when I drew, people were nice to me. The only time I got social acceptance was when people were admiring or praising me for my art. So I did it more and more, I devoted myself feverishly to my art. I loved it anyway and would have hyper-fixated on it regardless but the positive reinforcement turned art from something I loved to a need. I NEEDED to be an artist. I needed to be the best at my school. I needed all eyes on my work because it was the only way I could make friends. The only way I could prove that I had value. That I deserved a place in society.

I see that in Ford. I see his ego not as shallow narcissism but as an overwhelming need to prove his value as a person. To be loved and accepted and believing that no one will want him if he isn't brilliant. If he doesn't change the world. If he isn't useful. This is also why he couldn't bring himself to destroy his research even knowing it was the safest and most responsible option. Burning down everything he worked for would mean finally giving up on the fantasy of ever being accepted or valuable.

The sad thing is he's so single-mindedly fixated on this personal goal of proving his worth to the world that when people do come along that love him unconditionally he takes them for granted. These people are statistical anomalies in his life. Nice to have around, but not enough to fix the bigger problem. They aren't reflective of society at large. They aren't enough to prove that he, personally, is loveable. Just that on occasion he meets another weirdo. For a while it's nice. Like a campfire in a barren tundra. But he has to keep moving, he can't stay. Warmer lands are ahead if he can just get to them. If he can just keep moving.

This also is why Ford was so susceptible to Bill. Bill told Ford what he wanted to hear. That he was destined for greatness. That, the fundamental wrongness he felt all his life was something incredible other people just couldn't see. Bill promised Ford exactly what he wanted, but not what he actually needed. Ford never needed the world at large to accept him. He just needed a few good people.

I also think his chemistry with Bill was connected to his autistic experiences as well. Bill is literally an alien. There's no pressure to mask around him. To try and "act normal". Ford can just be himself with Bill and not have to think about it. And sure, he could be himself around Fiddleford, but Fidds is still human. The anxieties of human social expectations are still present. Like when Fidds get him a gift for the holidays and Ford feels a bit guilty that it didn't even occur to him to do the same. He doesn't have to think about these social nuances with Bill.

That said I'm sure Bill isn't what his world would have considered neurotypical anyway. Not that Ford would know that. But Bill was also a strange freak in his own society. Just as outcast, possibly more so. I think Bill sees a bit of his own experiences reflected in Ford. I think he relates to him on a level. Not that he would ever admit it outright due to his own ego. I think Bill's fixation on him after the breakup also stems from Ford rejecting the path that Bill chose for himself. Bill still lives with some sort of deeply repressed guilt for what he did. Imagine how validating it would have been to see someone else like him burn their own world to the ground for the same reasons Bill did. But no, Ford's a better man than him, and Bill can't stand it.

Ok, I don't know how to end this long-ass monologue so I'm gonna call it here I guess. I just wanted to spill some thoughts of mine about Ford as a character. If anyone else wants to add to this with other examinations of Ford's character through this lense go right ahead. I'm just saying as an autistic person myself I understand every choice Ford made. I could relate to why he did the things he did even if I know those were mistakes and even acknowledging that he's kind of an asshole. Ford is a strange man who makes an eerie amount of sense to me.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

You know when this all started coming to light, I fully expected that leftists would try to downplay the horrific violence by acknowledging that it was "bad and our hearts go out to the victims and their families, but......" or by making a sharp distinction between civilians and soldiers (or even like, minors and adults), but the thing that's fucked me up is that nope! We sailed right past any attempt to even pretend at human decency and cut straight to "they deserved it."

Even the kids?? Yep, even the kids.

Like Jesus H. Christ y'all.

I'm used to people feeling like they need to at least gesture vaguely in the direction of giving a shit about Jewish lives and not justifying actual terror tactics and war crimes on civilians (you'd think for consistency's sake they might care about looking like they care for the credibility but..) even if we both know they really don't actually care about antisemitism in a meaningful way. We both know that they won't be there when it actually counts, and they sure as fuck aren't going to interrogate their own personal or group's antisemitism. But usually there's a fig leaf. There's at least a baseline assumption that they should care about antisemitism and Jewish people staying alive, even if they don't actually, so they'll say the minimum amount of correct sounding words and then quickly skedaddle onto whatever it is they actually care about.

And like, is that good? No, it's not. It's not good enough. I'm sick and fucking tired of people doing juuuuuust enough to pretend to care without ever addressing the real underlying issues.

But this? This totally floored me. This drops that baseline assumption that antisemitism and murdered Jews is a bad thing entirely and blatantly sides with literal actual terrorists committing unspeakable horrors while holding it up as "liberation."

And what's worse? Most of those were the further out fringe types (although there were a horrifying amount more than I expected) right? Most everyone else wasn't spouting off about how happy they were that vive la révolucion, right? You know what was really deafening?

The silence from everyone else.

Literally everyone except for maybe one or two gentiles I remember seeing kept their mouths shut. Everyone else? Not a goddamn word about how fucked up it was that people were crowing over our people's fresh corpses. The bodies hadn't even cooled yet and we had jackasses on here publicly celebrating with memes and gore videos, and not a word from 99.9% of you.

The people who did speak up? You have no idea how much it means, and I'm grateful. Truly.

Everyone else who was too gutless, spineless, or oblivious to realize how critical a moment this was for support and/or was more interested in protecting your image or whatever?

Let's just say: duly noted.

I may continue to work alongside you (what choice do I have?) but the trust is gone.

We're clearly on our own, with rare exception.

(This is a vent post I will not be adding any caveats to it and I will be blocking anyone who tries to be an asshole. I will lock reblogs if there's any discourse. Our lives are not up for debate you sick fucks.)

[germiyahu]

Similarly to the guy who set himself on fire (will not be saying his name), I don't want to give Jonathan Glazer any power. I mean we've all talked about it. But again, there's danger in his infamy.

The way he was shaking and stuttering, clearly afraid of something? Yet he was met with nothing but applause from a crowd of smug slacktivists wearing their fucking bloody hand pins. He was ushered into relevance by dozens of publications saying "That's not what he meant uwu don't believe the meaniehead Apartheid supporters!" He was afraid of nothing. This was not courage.

The antisemites desperately want to be silenced. That's part of the appeal. They want to be brave. They want to appear to speak truth to power in the face of an overwhelming system that seeks to crush them. They want to be radical revolutionaries. They want to be martyrs.

But that largely hasn't actually been the case. Mainstream society in America is certainly casually pro Israel, and that hasn't lessened despite their best efforts. But it largely tolerates the antizionist agitation. A lot of people are annoyed by them, even if they don't think they're Jew haters. But institutions aren't really trying to destroy their movement. Some, like universities, are embracing it.

When Jewish people are being victimized, at this point just for saying that they're being victimized (what a great feedback loop), this crowd is insanely envious. They want that for themselves. The cognitive dissonance of wanting to be a victim but knowing you won't suffer any actual real life consequences that are too unbearable is so emblematic of the young educated Leftoid coming from a conservative background. They want to appropriate Jewish fear and what they perceive as Jewish martyrdom.

Since the backlash to Glazer's speech is pretty decisive among the Jewish community, I fear it's only going to incentivize him and others who think like him to go on a victimhood tour. He's going to get invited to talk on shows and podcasts and shit. The antisemites will be incredibly eager to share the news that the global Jewish community really does support genocide after all. Here was this brave man saying "Not in my name!" and they turned on him. All he did was criticize the factual genocide occurring. If they can't handle that... surely they feel very attacked, and called out. Maybe he struck a nerve?

Perhaps the number of Good Jews must be much lower than we thought? Because look at Jonathan Glazer and others like him, standing up against all odds to deliver this inspiring message, and he was cast down, they tried to take his Jewishness away from him! And of course all this will excite them. Because it will create the permission they need to engage in their favorite form of quote unquote activism: harassing people and maximizing cruelty. And Glazer will probably be so butthurt about the backlash that he will conveniently not feel the need to condemn the people who engage in antisemitism to "defend his honor."

Oh and I won't forget that the Israeli teenagers who willingly went to jail were largely mocked and met with a resounding chorus of "Why are we rewarding the bare minimum?" by the way...

[libraryofgage]

Hashah Tovah! It's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and there's no such thing as too much Jewish Steve in my book (that being said, this story isn't about the New Year, it's about Shabbat hfjdks)

Also, I'm gonna be honest, this fic is a love letter to Judaism and my experiences with my temple and the people there. My experiences aren't universal, though, so please don't take anything here as, like, the end-all-be-all of Judaism. If you have questions about anything here, you can ask me; I'll be happy to answer ^_^

The time period is also very loose. Upside Down happened, but some of the attitudes are probably a bit more modern. Honestly, I suggest just shutting off your brain and enjoying the story lmao

CW: vague mentions of antisemitism and homophobia

As always, if you see any typos no you didn't

(also this is like 4k so buckle in bois)

----

Steve's car has officially given up on life. Honestly, he's surprised it even managed to live this long. For all it's been through, it probably deserves some rest and TLC. Steve just wishes it could have demanded that rest and TLC on any other day.

Because it's Friday. Because it's Shabbat. Because he's about to have a mob of concerned elderly members of his temple crowding his door if he doesn't go to services tonight, and that's not something he wants his neighbors to see.

He considers calling Robin, but she won't be much help. She might be his Emergency Goy, but she doesn't have a car. Now that he's thinking about it, Robin may not be the best Emergency Goy, not that he'd ever tell her that.

He knows one other person with a car, of course, but that means he has to call Eddie. Not that Steve has anything against him, of course, but Eddie makes him feel a lot of things that he's not quite ready to confront just yet.

Steve frowns, staring at the phone for a long moment, trying to come up with any other option.

Steve comes up empty.

Shit.

He takes a deep breath and takes the phone off the receiver, slowly punching in the numbers as though he'll suddenly have an epiphany before he's finished dialing.

Unfortunately, he doesn't, and the phone is now ringing. It rings twice before getting picked up, Eddie's familiar voice saying, "You've reached Casa de Munson. The fuck do you want?"

"Do you always answer the phone like that?" Steve asks, momentarily forgetting about the favor he was planning to ask.

He hears Eddie hum and can practically picture the way he's now leaning against the wall next to the phone, an amused smirk tugging at his lips. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Stevie. What, pray tell, has you calling me?" he asks.

Steve almost hangs up. This is already stressful for him. What if Eddie doesn't agree? Worst, what if he does? Wouldn't that mean Eddie is going to see a part of himself that nobody but Robin has seen? That's fucking terrifying. What if Eddie suddenly hates him?

"I, uh, I need a favor," Steve admits.

"What kind of favor?"

If he wanted, Steve could just lie. It wouldn't be his first time lying about Friday plans. "My car won't start," Steve says, hesitating for a second more before continuing, "and I need a ride to the next town tonight."

"Gee, Harrington, get invited to a party?" Eddie asks, a slight edge to his voice that Steve can't quite place.

"What? No. I...it's not a party, okay? This is really important to me, man. Can you give me a ride or should I ask someone else?"

Maybe Hopper or Joyce would have enough time to give him a ride. He just needs to be dropped off. Getting back...can be a bridge he crosses when he comes to it.

"What time would we be getting back?" Eddie asks, pulling Steve from his thoughts.

"Probably after nine. And we need to be there at six, so that means leaving here no later than five," Steve says, trying to ignore the growing hope and sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. "I know it's really last minute, but you could spend the night at my place after. If you want."

"Will it be fun?"

"Uh, maybe? I don't know, man, it kinda depends. I find it fun, but you might get...bored," Steve says. Or offended. Maybe infuriated? Maybe betrayed that this is a whole part of Steve's life he's never hinted at.

"You're being real mysterious about all this, big boy."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just hard to explain."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm bored and curious."

----

On the drive, Eddie keeps trying to figure out where Steve is directing him. He keeps asking questions, Steve keeps dodging them, and that feeling of inevitable dread keeps growing.

Of course, all that dodging is rendered obsolete as Eddie pulls into a parking spot and shuts off the van. A few families are walking into the temple, some parents glancing curiously at the unfamiliar van, some glancing suspiciously, and some too distracted by kids to notice.

"Uh, are you sure this is the place?" Eddie asks, frowning slightly as he looks at the temple and then at Steve.

Steve swallows around the lump in his throat, his hands nervously gripping the material of his sweater. "I'm Jewish," he blurts out, feeling his face burning. When a few seconds pass without any response, he burns holes into a tree outside and adds, "It's Friday night services. Shabbat. I've missed too many because of...you know. The, um, the Rabbi called and asked if I was okay, and I promised to be at services tonight. You don't have to stay if you don't feel comfortable."

"You don't look Jewish."

Steve tenses, jerking his head to look at Eddie. There's no malice in his eyes. No suspicion, either, thankfully. He just looks...confused. "What's a Jew supposed to look like?" Steve asks in return, wondering if Eddie even knows that he's toeing the edge of the antisemitic swimming pool.

Eddie opens his mouth before closing it again. "Uh...I don't know, actually. Just...not you, I guess?"

Okay. Yeah. Steve can deal with this. He forces himself to relax. "Well, Jews come in all shapes and sizes," he says. He hesitates before deciding to get a burning question out of the way. "Are you angry?"

"What the fuck would I be angry about?"

"That I didn't tell you. That I was Jewish. To be fair, only Robin knows."

Eddie shakes his head, turning in his seat to face Steve. "No, Stevie, I'm not angry. I mean, I live in Hawkins, too. Not exactly the place to be standing out unless you wanna get accused of murder."

Despite himself, Steve can't help snorting at that. He takes a deep breath, the last bit of tension leaving his shoulders. "Well, uh, do you want to stay for services?" he asks.

"Can I? I'm not Jewish. And I'm dressed like this," Eddie says, gesturing at his clothes.

A Hellfire Club shirt, denim vest, gaudy rings, and dark jeans. It's incredibly Eddie, and something about it reassures Steve. He says, "You're with me, so not being Jewish is fine. And your clothes are okay, too. It's not formal."

"My shirt literally says Hellfire."

"Well, it's a good thing Judaism doesn't really have a hell."

Eddie stares at him for a few seconds, clearly full of questions, but then he just nods and climbs out of the van. Steve blinks and scrambles out as well, wanting to create some kind of buffer between Eddie and the congregation members who see a stranger and instantly become defensive.

The moment he's shut the door, he hears a little kid shout excitedly, "Steve!"

He whirls around in time to see a young girl rush across the parking lot, much to the shock and concern of her guardian. Thankfully, there aren't any cars, so the girl is unimpeded in her rush to Steve.

Eddie comes around the side of the van just in time to see the girl launch herself at Steve, giggling when he lifts her up and spins. "Yael! Have you gotten bigger?" he asks, smiling brightly as he comes to a stop and sets her on his waist.

Yael returns his smile with a grin of her own, tilting her head up so he can clearly see the brand-new gap in her teeth. "I lost a tooth! See? It came out last week," she tells him, practically bouncing in his arms.

By now, Yael's grandfather has reached them, smiling indulgently. "Yael," he says, his voice gentle but firm, "you know better than to run across parking lots." When she mumbles an apology, he looks at Steve, his smile turning warm. "Steve, it's been a few weeks. I'm glad to see you again, and you've even brought a friend."

Steve returns the smile and nods, shifting closer to Eddie. "Yeah, things got a little...chaotic in Hawkins. Oh. Mr. Adler, this is Eddie Munson. Eddie, Elijah Alder."

Mr. Adler's eyes light up, and Steve suddenly remembers something incredibly embarrassing. "Oh?" he says, looking at Eddie with renewed interest, "So this is the famous Eddie Munson? I'm glad to see you've healed well."

Eddie blinks, glancing at Steve. "Uh, thanks. How'd you know?"

"Steve asked the Rabbi to include you during the Mi Shebeirach."

"The Misha what now?"

"Mi Shebeirach," Steve says, gently nudging Eddie with his elbow. "It's a prayer for healing."

Mr. Adler nods once, his eyes practically dancing with new gossip. "Oh, yes, you've created quite the stir among the Sisterhood, you know. They have a backlog of Mi Shebeirach cards and nowhere to send them."

Steve translates that information as "the old ladies have been dying to know who this mysterious Eddie Munson is, so Steve had better brace himself." His smile becomes a little strained. "Well, let's get it over with, then."

Mr. Adler nods and gestures for Steve and Eddie to follow as he leads them toward the temple. While they walk, Yael looks at Eddie, her eyes wide. "Why is your hair so long?" she asks.

"Cuz I like it that way."

"Oh. Why are you wearing rings?"

"Because they're cool."

"Oh. Why did you need healing?"

"I was hurt really bad."

"Oh. By what?"

"A bear."

"Oh. Are you Steve's friend?"

Eddie glances at Steve, meeting his eyes for a brief second before smiling at Yael. "Yeah, Stevie and I are best friends."

Yael smiles right back. "Steve is my best friend, too! He's super strong and can carry me without getting tired and makes the best hamentaschen at Purim!"

"Yael," Mr. Adler says, cutting off any continuation of the conversation as they reach the doors of the temple. "Why don't you go let the Rabbi know Steve has joined us?"

Her entire face lights up with joy. "Okay!" she shouts, wiggling in Steve's arms until he lets her down. She tugs open the door, straining until Steve smiles and helps her. "Thanks! Bye, Steve!"

With that, she dashes into the temple, her voice carrying Steve's name into the room full of other people. When almost all of them, including three children that Steve can see, stop what they're doing and look over at the door, Mr. Adler says from behind Steve and Eddie, "Brace yourselves, my boys. The wolves have appeared."

Steve groans as Mr. Adler pushes them both inside. "Should I be worried?" Eddie whispers, leaning in closer to Steve as the door shuts behind them.

"I apologize in advance," Steve tells him.

Despite his words, he has a large grin as the three kids shout his name and rush over, much like Yael did. They're followed by a few teenagers and their parents. The kids pounce on Steve, two holding onto his biceps and hanging from them as he raises his arms while the third clings to his leg.

"Where ya been?" one of the teens asks, her hair pulled back into a ponytail so permed it looks ready to burst.

"Yeah, man, I've been manning the oneg table by myself," another teen says, his arms crossed over a Metallica shirt. He's got piercings climbing up one ear and through an eyebrow, and his gaze moves to Eddie as he speaks, taking in the other boy. "Who's this?"

"Yeah," another girl asks, smiling at Eddie and batting her eyes in a way that makes even Steve feel uncomfortable, "who's your friend, Steve?"

"Kids," an older woman says, pushing her way through them, "you know better than to crowd. Shouldn't you be passing out prayer books right now?" Once she's managed to shoo the teens away, she turns her gaze on the children still clinging to Steve. "And you three, I heard Mrs. Rost needs help in the kitchen. Something about there being too many cookies to platter all by herself."

Steve suddenly finds himself weightless as the kids abandon him, dashing down the hall toward the kitchen. He smiles with slight relief and looks at the woman. "Thanks," he says, rolling his shoulders.

"Of course, Steve. Now, who's your friend?" she asks, looking Eddie up and down curiously.

"Oh, right. Uh. Rabbi, this is Eddie Munson. Eddie, this is Rabbi Sara. I, um, I was hoping he could sit in on services tonight?"

Rabbi Sara immediately smiles at them. She holds out her hand to Eddie, shaking firmly when he returns the gesture. "Of course! I'm glad to see you're doing better, Eddie. We've been a bit worried about you here," she says. She glances around before leaning in and conspiratorially whispering, "There's a betting pool on whether his name would be added to the Mourner's Kiddish."

Steve snorts, knowing exactly which members would have started that bet. "Yeah, well, tell Diane and Yakov they've lost."

Rabbi Sara barely holds back her laughter, nodding once as she lets go of Eddie's hand. "Well, how about I spare you boys from socializing more," she offers.

When Steve nods, she gestures for them to follow her, leading the way to the sanctuary. He glances at Eddie as they walk, taking in the way he's tugging on a lock of hair and looking at the hall around them. "You doing okay?" Steve whispers, leaning in closer.

Eddie glances at him, is silent for a few minutes, and then says, "It's a lot to take in."

"Service will be easier. Lots of music. You'll like it," Steve promises, smiling reassuringly at Eddie. He hesitates before adding, "And if you want to leave, just let me know. The important part was making sure people saw I wasn't dead."

That's not entirely true. Steve doesn't want to leave the Shabbat service. He misses the routine of it and the feeling of togetherness as everyone sings. But Eddie's comfort is taking precedence here; he's already given Steve a ride and has begun subjecting himself to Steve's nosy congregation. Leaving early if he gets overwhelmed is the least Steve can do, really.

The teen in the Metallica shirt, Sam, holds out two prayer books when Rabbi Sara leads them to the sanctuary doors. His gaze lingers on Eddie for a few seconds more before asking, "Dude, do I know you?"

Eddie blinks and raises an eyebrow. "I don't know. Do you?"

Their gazes hold for nearly a minute before Sam's eyes widen and light with recognition. Steve is bracing himself for the worst (you know, devil worshipper, accused murderer, wannabe criminal, take your pick). Instead, Sam grins and says, "Yeah, I totally do! You're in that band, yeah? The one that plays at Hideout sometimes? Corroded Coffin. Your music is metal, man."

Eddie returns Sam's grin, throwing an arm over his shoulders and leaning in close. "You know, you're alright. Always happy to meet a fan. What's your favorite song?"

"You played that new one last Saturday. Bats, I think. It spoke to me, man."

Steve stares at Eddie, wondering how he missed the fact that Corroded Coffin started playing gigs again. A curl of something like regret or maybe hurt begins to build in his stomach, and he's almost overtaken by it when Eddie nods and says, "Oh, yeah, that one's about Stevie."

"Oohh, dude, that makes so much sense now."

"You wrote a song about me?" Steve asks, successfully regaining Eddie's attention.

Apparently, Eddie sort of forgot he was there. His relaxed posture becomes a little awkward, and he removes his arm from Sam's shoulder. He clears his throat, tugging a lock of hair in front of his mouth as he says, "Yeah. Is, uh, is that a problem?"

"No," Steve says, feeling a reassuring smile tug at his lips, "but you should play it for me sometime."

"This is all very touching," a voice says behind them, "but can you take the flirting inside the sanctuary? We still need our prayer books."

Steve jolts and looks behind them, laughing awkwardly when he sees Rivkah, a woman in her early 30s, and her partner, Tamar. "Sorry," he says, grabbing Eddie's arm and dragging him through the doors.

"Hey, Harrington," Eddie whispers, allowing himself to be pulled over to some chairs near the left corner of the sanctuary, "is everything okay? Like...are we...safe?"

It takes a moment for Steve to understand what Eddie means. Like, of course, he can't guarantee their safety. It's a synagogue. Every person here old enough to understand the world knows the risk, the potential for one person to show up and wreak utter destruction. Steve is about to say as much (and explain the temple's "worst case scenario" game plan) when he notices Eddie glancing at Rivkah and Tamar.

A light bulb practically clicks on above him, and he almost laughs at himself. He sits down and tugs Eddie into the seat next to him. "Yeah, we're safe, Eds," he promises, smiling softly when Eddie looks at him. "Rivkah and Tamar are married. I attended the ceremony. It was very nice. Tamar broke the glass."

Eddie's eyes widen slightly, and he looks around the sanctuary with renewed interest. His gaze especially lingers on the people that file in, taking in the couples and families and groups that wouldn't make much sense outside the temple's doors. Steve is content to let him look, allowing himself to relax back into the seat and wait.

After almost 15 minutes, Rabbi Sara approaches the bema and smiles at everyone. "Good evening, and Shabbat Shalom," she says, nodding along as her greeting is returned. "I'm glad to see so many familiar faces tonight. And some new ones. The week has been long for some of us, but it's now come to an end, and we have gathered to celebrate its end, another week's beginning, and being together. Now, please open your books to page 47 for the L'cha Dodi."

Steve flips open his book as Anna, the cantor and the same girl who tried to flirt with Eddie, starts playing the guitar next to Rabbi Sara. "Uh, the book is backward," Eddie whispers, leaning close to Steve.

"Hebrew is written right to left," Steve explains, taking Eddie's book and opening it to the right page. "Also, don't worry about singing along. Just try to follow. If you don't know where we are, just nudge me. I'll point you to the right spot."

Eddie nods, looking almost overwhelmed, but Rabbi Sara starts singing before Steve can reassure him verbally. Instead, he just shifts so their shoulders are pressed together, flashing a tiny smile when Eddie looks at him before joining the rest of the congregation in singing.

Steve has to point Eddie at the right line a few times, but he doesn't mind. He's memorized the prayer by now, and the book is really just for show. He pulls Eddie up with the rest of the congregation during the L'cha Dodi, turns him to the sanctuary doors, and places a hand on his back to gently nudge him into a bow. Eddie blinks through it, following along but seeming overwhelmed by the entire process. When the prayer is finished and Rabbi Sara invites them to greet each other, Steve looks at Eddie with a smile (one of the most genuine smiles he's had in weeks), holds out his hand, and says, "Shabbat Shalom, Eddie."

Eddie doesn't hesitate to take his hand, leaning in close and returning the smile. "Shabbat Shalom?" he asks, speaking slowly to test the words and let Steve approve of the pronunciation. When Steve nods, Eddie's smile grows wider, and he whispers, "Shabbat Shalom, sweetheart."

That...that's a new nickname. And Steve doesn't know what to do with it. Maybe Eddie just wanted the pseudo-alliteration, but his smile says otherwise, and Steve feels like he's frozen in place.

And then a few of the kids dash over to him, shouting, "Shabbat Shalom!" at the top of their lungs and practically fighting to shake his hand first. Steve would feel honored if he didn't know they raced to beat each other to every adult.

After greeting, they light the candles. After lighting the candles, Rabbi Sara leads them into the next prayer, the rest of the service flowing smoothly with her as their guide.

The service is (beautifully, wonderfully, incredibly, thankfully) the same as always. Prayers are sung, and Steve can practically feel them in his bones. He's never been particularly religious (his mother would say they're more culturally Jewish than anything else), but he can't deny that the sound of over 50 people, young and old and in-between, singing together is an otherworldly experience.

They are singing a language that only a few of them actually know how to speak. Steve is reading a language that he wouldn't recognize outside of the prayer book. It's disconcerting as always, but also special, because he shares in the ignorance and devotion wrapped into singing words he wouldn't understand without the book's translation on the opposite page.

The Mi Shebeirach and the Mourner's Kiddish are Steve's sign that service is almost over. And for the first time in forever, Steve doesn't speak any names when Rabbi Sara calls for them. He sinks back into his seat, an unfamiliar relief easing tension he didn't even know he had anymore. But it's true. Everyone is fine, and they've all healed, and Steve no longer has to say Max's name or Will's or Hopper's or Eddie's. He no longer has to dodge questions or call up the Rabbi and ask her to include an extra name in the service.

And this realization, the sheer relief he feels at the simple act of staying quiet when Rabbi Sara's gaze sweeps past him, is almost enough to bring him to tears. His throat gets tight, his eyes burn, and his voice almost cracks when he joins the rest of the congregation in singing for those in need of healing and those who have passed.

Eddie nudges him gently, and Steve glances at him and then at their shared armrest. Eddie's hand is lying palm-up, a silent invitation, and Steve doesn't hesitate to accept. He slips his hand into Eddie's, interlocking their fingers, and feels infinitely better when Eddie squeezes his hand gently.

----

"So," Steve says, refraining from getting up as others file out of the sanctuary, practically tripping over kids racing to reach the oneg brownies first, "did you...like it?"

Eddie is silent for a few minutes, staring down at their hands. Steve almost pulls away, an apology ready on his tongue, when Eddie squeezes his hand tighter. "Yeah. It was...different. But good. I...there was more singing than I expected."

Steve grins, glancing up to see the sanctuary has mostly cleared, and stands. He pulls Eddie up with him. "Yeah, we sing most of our prayers. It's nice."

"It is," Eddie agrees, still looking a little lost for words.

Steve doesn't push. Instead, he pulls, leading Eddie out of the sanctuary. He gives their prayer books to Sam, grabs two tiny, sample-sized cups of Manischewitz wine, and gives one to Eddie. "Don't drink it yet," he says, nodding to where Rabbi Sara has her own cup and is waiting for the rest to be passed around.

Once everyone is ready, she blesses the wine, blesses the challah, and invites them all to drink and eat. Steve braces himself before knocking the wine back, the strong, warm grape flavor coating his tongue, vaguely reminiscent of cough medicine. He sees the same grimace on Eddie's face. "This is shit wine," Eddie whispers, his nose still scrunched as he tosses the cup into the trashcan like he can't get rid of it fast enough.

"Yeah. It's specifically for services," Steve says, "it's not supposed to be good."

"Right," Eddie mumbles, glancing at the oneg table, his eyes lingering on the desserts laid out. "Do you wanna stick around? You know, talk to people?"

Usually, Steve would. He likes catching up with the kids and teens, likes ganging up on them when their parents come around and playfully scold them, and he likes hearing the most recent temple gossip. But as he looks at Eddie, feels their hands still tightly holding onto each other, Steve finds he doesn't mind leaving early.

So, he leans in closer to Eddie and grins at him. "Or," he whispers, "we could steal an extra pack of brownies from the kitchen, sneak out the back, and eat them on the drive home."

Eddie returns the grin, amusement and eagerness practically dancing in his eyes, and says, "You read my mind, sweetheart."

Later, when Eddie pulls into Steve's driveway after an hour-long ride spent eating brownies, explaining different prayers, and telling him about old temple gossip, a different kind of tension will start to fester between them. Steve will delay getting out of the car, Eddie won't comment on it, and they'll slowly gravitate toward each other.

And they'll kiss. It will be awkward and taste like chocolate and end far too quickly, but it will be perfect.

Steve will pull away, a faint blush rising and his heart racing faster than it ever did with Nancy, and shyly offer to let Eddie spend the night. And Eddie will accept and spend the night and ask to attend Shabbat with Steve again and...

And so much more.

But for now, while he has no clue of the future that's about to start after an hour's drive, Steve glances around the crowded hall and pulls Eddie toward the kitchen.

After all, they've got brownies to steal.

[spacelazarwolf]

I truly think the people who downplay antisemitism and act like fighting it isn’t as important as fighting other injustices do not understand that zionists can easily point to words like theirs and say: “That. That right there is why Israel needs to exist and continue what it’s doing.”

Because if Jewish life means so little to them to make them care, maybe them hearing that they’re dumbasses sabotaging the causes they believe in will.

EXACTLY!! WHICH IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!!!!!!!!

and i know gentiles hate it bc then they have to give a shit abt jews, but sometimes in order to achieve liberation you have to do something you don't like. it fucking boggles my mind how non palestinian gentiles can justify last weekend's massacre as "necessary for liberation" but they can't stomach simply sitting down with jewish organizations and saying "hey what can we do to get you on board with our movement? what can we do to ensure that you don't need israel?"

like i'm sorry but if you're going to be an activist, sometimes you have to do things that seem unfair, or that are extremely unpleasant. trust me, i have not enjoyed my conversations with political zionists. but i have left them with that person asking questions they weren't asking before, asking why we should have to be the ones constantly being tossed around the globe instead of the people in the countries we live in confronting their own bigotry and hatred of us.

another thing that bothers me is the people that frame this as just "jews r white supremacists that just want to colonize and kill palestinians for fun or bc they want their land!!!!!!" if you are going to be an effective tool for palestinian liberation, or liberation of any kind, it is imperative that you understand the motivation behind your "opposition." most parents of trans kids who don't want their kids to be trans or get treatment aren't doing it bc they fucking hate their kid and would rather they die. most of the time, they genuinely care about their kid and don't want them to be hurt by this perceived evil. are they right? fuck no. but screaming at them is going to make them firmer in their beliefs. what actually helps, and i say this as someone who has actively been a part of this work, is meeting them where they're at. you can't drag them over a fence, but if you can convince them to unlock their side of the gate, you have a much better chance of getting them to come through to the other side.

obviously this doesn't work with people like the transphobic politicians who are making these laws, and it won't work for bibi and his party. but if your target is diaspora jews who support zionism, it absolutely will work, because i have seen it work. if you approach them with patience and understanding and a willingness to address the concerns you have, you are a billion times more likely to be successful in getting them to join the fight. anything less than compassion is allowing yourself to become a tool of the israeli government and the institutions that support it.

[jewishbarbies]

Antizionists don't want Israel to exist but they simultaneously refuse to address why it exists in the first place. No country has ever welcomed Jews with open arms, and were all silent during the Holocaust. Even after the horrors were revealed in full, people didn't want to help. They just wanted them to either die or conveniently vanish into thin air so they wouldn't have to deal with them. Now the world whines about a country that emerged due to their apathy and hatred. And they still, unsurprisingly, don't give a single shit about Jews and their safety or about dismantling antisemitism.

If the world wants Israel gone, then they should be all required to not be hostile in any way, actively work on their biases and dismantle antisemitism, and give the resulting 9.5 million refugees homes, healthcare, food, and safety. But they won't. They haven't for thousands of years and they certainly won't be starting now.

The government is horrible but so are most governments around the world, like Israel isn't unique in that regard at all. The Gaza death toll is also horrible. But Israel isn't going anywhere anytime soon and the world can COPE AND SEETHE.

“but zionism is antisemitic bc it implies we can’t/shouldn’t live with everyone else!!” i actually saw someone post this (I’m paraphrasing), and no one in the thread said that maybe the world should be better to its jews then. like has anyone considered that? also, there’s nothing wrong with having a jewish country in our homeland? you don’t have to go just bc you’re a jew, if you wanna live where you are now you absolutely can. they act like people are forced to go to Israel and can’t leave. like, if we can figure out this government bullshit happening, it’s totally possible to continue being in the middle east and co existing with the other populations there, we’ve done it for thousands of years. just like any other indigenous populations, there’s spats and disagreements, even wars, but no one has to be exiled and forced out to be able to exist peacefully there. that’s the ideology of the people who want us all dead for their own gain and I’m tired of the west listening to them.

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

I don't understand, what's going on with Taylor and Matt trash being a couple? Could you explain to me?

nothing is really going on at the moment tbh, cuz they broke up a pretty long while ago, but the issue is the album (if that's what you're referring to) and taylor swift herself.

[will add sources and more stuff when I find the links and if I realise I missed something out, cuz this is a general thing based off of memory]

Context: dating history

Basically she and matty had been friends for a few years (there are rumors of them hooking up ig in 1989 era maybe, but I don't really care enough to believe shit like that). Apparently he had also been pining for her (according to stuff he said in interviews and tweets) for years, but again, you can still chalk it up to rumors if you wanna.

The thing is that post her breakup with joe alwyn, she started dating him (in like april I think) [there had been dating rumors of them since 2014 tho, and again in March 2023] and the fandom kinda got divided.

Here is the link to their entire timeline

Context: what matty healy did

Matty healy (you prolly know this) is basically racist, sexist, antisemitic, homophobic and God knows what else I have missed out or not been aware of. He did shit like doing the nazi gesture on stage, mocking asian accents, tastelessly making fun of ice spice on her race and bodyshaming her, laughing and basically confirming that he watches violent rape porn of black women on a site that is known to be highly problematic and force their actors (gender neutral) to do things they dont consent to (there was also an actress who was assaulted or something but im not informed on it). Even when he was called out on stuff like this, he accused people (who were poc, btw) of overreacting.

Context: taylor and activism

Taylor had also, in the past (lover era, and miss Americana the doc) had talked about how she had been too quiet about political issues and politics itself for too long, that she understands her influence and power in society, and that she "needs to be on the right side of history" and even specifics such as that she thinks it's spineless to go on stage and say "happy pride month" and not acknowledge the political oppression that queers in USA were facing (something about a bill or the republican party idk man I'm not american, i dont remember but i did research when i watched the doc tho). She has claimed she was gonna be clear about where she stands (many republicans had considered her to be one, and many thought she's conservative or something, but she was always quiet about it, until the lover era). However, she just stopped that activism after the lover era, and went back to being quiet on where she stands (I've seen many swifties refer to the lover era as the activism era) and hasn't spoken about anything substantial really. She did some things like post a black square with 13 hearts during blm, and stuff that every celeb who wasn't openly a pos did, but that's kinda it. Even as a self proclaimed feminist, she didn't speak up on issues such as roe v wade, or about an issue regarding drag queens despite having them in yntcd, or talking about trans/queer rights until she was in a blue state (im not an American, I just like to keep up a little with stuff in usa cuz it's always up in my face sadly, and thus i cant be specific, but anyways, correct me if I'm wrong, or if I missed something).

So even after saying she'll be vocal, she was just... not. And that's basically her on politics or giving a shit about minority communities.

Context: Fandom's reaction

Swifties were extremely disappointed that taylor CHOSE to associate with a man like this, and there were fans calling her out, and she received backlash, too.

Most of these swifties were poc (myself included) and they felt hurt that an artist that they not just supported and developed such a deep connection with, but also financially supported for years, would have such disregard for them. Not just was she dating him, but she kept saying things such as "I have never been happier in all aspects of my life" or saying "I love you" or "uk who you are" in romantic songs on the tour, which was just adding insult to injury. She also did a collab with ice spice (which was completely out of nowhere, and the collab itself seemed badly made and rushed), which fans and others speculated to be a pr cover up for the fact that matty healy had mocked her (many ppl also believed that it was too quick for it to be a pr cover tho).

Now, in the fandom, when poc swifties were calling her out on dating mh, (mostly) white swifties started harassing poc swifties for doing so, or saying that they are hindering with her happiness or some bs about it being "just a fling" (again, myself included). They said it's the same as seeing a friend get out of a long-term relationship and make bad dating choices, and poc swifties should let it go (as if taylor is our close personal friend). In a mostly white fandom, poc swifties felt alienated and sidelined.

Ofc, taylor never addressed any of this backlash, and after she broke up with him, there were articles saying that sources say (which mostly means her pr team atp) that her breakup had nothing to do with his controversies or behavior.

The album release (lyrics, references and reaction)

Now, with the release of ttpd, contrary to what most of the fandom believed, most of the songs on both the albums are believed to be (and heavily hinted on) about matty healy. These include 4 songs- "ttpd", "but daddy I love him", "I can fix him (no really I can)", and "guilty as sin?"

Ttpd, the title track, talks about mh being "a tattooed golden retriever" (wtf) and about him love-bombing her, and her pining after him, thinking about marriage and shit. But daddy I love him and I can fix him, are basically that no one supported her dating decision and she's claiming that she loves him oh so goddamn much, but more importantly, her talking about her fans' reactions. Specifically, describing her poc fans to be "vipers" and "judgemental creeps" who hate her and them being hurt as "bitching and moaning", and basically took the side of the (white) fans who defended her, indirectly. She described his racist bs as "crazy" and said shit like she could "handle a dangerous man." She also has another song, "Guilty as sin?" and while I genuinely don't give a fuck about what she chooses to do in her private life, unless it is problematic, it is about her fantasizing about being with that racist man while being in a long term relationship with joe alwyn. She sings about how she wants him and wants to be with him... in multiple ways, iykyk. Again, out of context, I love this song so much, but that doesn't erase the context, right?

She also has a song "I hate it here" where she says the following lines:

"My friends used to play a game where

We would pick a decade

We wished we could live in instead of this

I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid"

And while there are many reasons why this line by itself is racist (romantisization of a time that was extremely shitty to many communities, most of which she is not a part of, showing herself to be "oh look I'm so woke I still remember the bad things even when I romanticize bad eras in history" which is something you expect from an ignorant white high schooler maybe, not a 34 y/o billionaire who claims to be well-read, etc.) but taylor swift herself saying these is adding insult to injury cuz she has shown time and time again she has no problem with racism (she kept quiet when antonia gentry, a black actress, received hate and racist threats by swifties because of a line BY NETFLIX that taylor didn't like, and she shouldn't ofc, but it wasn't the actress' fault), or associating herself with them (matty healy, for example). It is hypocritical to write something like that after writing an album about pining after a man and his "dangerousness," which is just bigotry. Way to romanticise racism, sexism, and antisemitism, taylor.

Even now, after listening to the album, she clearly doesn't like mh anymore, NOT because of his actions, but because he broke her heart, showing that she still enables and is okay with everything he did.

And that's kind of it (ig) about her and matty healy. I'm not really sure exactly which part you wanted to know, so this is just a gist of it all. Hope it helps :)

[fromchaostocosmos]

Lets talk about trauma

I know that on the many years I've been on this site that the Jewish users of tumblr have discussed, explained, broken down, and shown over and over the multiple ways we are all effected by our generational and communal trauma.

The way that Jews from all over world and varying backgrounds yet all shared the same fears, learned the same survival mechanisms, played the same "games" that were not games, but rather ways to teach children how to survive, just the same everything.

Ask any Jew if nightmares about pogroms and/or the Holocaust and being taken or dying in it and they will tell you yes.

The amount of trauma Jews carry within us is, withing our DNA, within our bodies, within our brains in is immense. We carry several thousands years worth of trauma.

We carry it all. The hypervigilance, that stress cycle, the paranoia, the various of hormones that keep us in semi permanent state of stress, the tension, and more. If you have ever done any research into what trauma does the body, the brain, to a person then you can understand.

Currently Jews who stressed and traumatized people doing our best are being severally stressed and traumatized on a whole new level.

I fear for what this will do to us in the long term. I will not be surprised if Jewish people come out this all with PTSD. I know that I've already had a nightmare where I was at some nebulous Jewish place and a bunch people who came and shot and killed us including me and did so claiming to so in name of freeing Palestine.

Which is sad that I nightmare like that because I shouldn't have to experience that. And Palestinians deserve better than to have antisemites hijacking their cause and needs so that these antisemites can pretend that they are not antisemities.

It is honestly very sad to watch how much of the pro-Palestine movement/people do not actually listen to Palestinians themselves. How much they do not care about what Palestinians want, think, or need. How much this movement supports Hamas despite Gazans direct statements and feelings that say don't support Hamas. How much these groups still will push "charities" that send funding to Hamas or not credible instead of ones that give help to Palestinians.

The self-immolation of the air force man really cemented for how much this movement has been over taken and how little they care for what Palestinians think, say, or want. Because these people have been praising, lionizing, and glorifying this man death is direct defiance of what Palestinians have said.

The way this man death has been treated and talked about makes me extremally worried, and I know other Jews are too, that we may see suicide bombers attacking Jewish centers of life and community. Which in case it isn't clear then I want to make clear this not something I blame Palestinians or Muslims for.

No, this is something we are seeing from people living in the west who culturally Christian.

The way these people talk about martyrdom is terrifying. The way that they talk about Jews is I want to say horrifying and I want to terrifying because it is and it is all not anything new or suprising.

It is horrific, it is disturbing, and there are moments of shock, but not surprise.

I don't know if it is because I've just become numb or because it is the shit gets regurgitated over and over or maybe some combination of both.

Here is a picture of pomegranate for making to the end of this rather depressing post. Pomegranates are wonderful and make things better.

[pandelacreme]

some of yall like to shit on the fundamental idea of national personifications for being cringe, but the fact i am seeing miku worldwide, east asia yuri, and the whole meme about folks reinventing hetalia every few years really goes to show that people love national personifications.

and i am not saying this to dismiss criticisms of it -- both in terms of media (anti-korean narratives in hetalia, the widespread antisemitism in the countryhumans fandom) and in actual ..literal... propaganda (e.g. bharat mata, lady liberty/uncle sam, etc.)

but.. maybe i'll be torched for this, but i do think what matters most is not the fundamental concept but moreso how people choose to engage with with it. and saying that does not mean disregarding all of the issues listed above! stay critical.

but people just love personifying things. to give an abstract concept human/familiar traits has been human beings' way of understanding and perceiving the world since our very existence. so it isn't surprising that nation/imagined community, something many of us hold intrinsic to forming our sense of self, is often subject to personifying.

and i would argue that this love extends to other media that isn't explicitly about national personifications but has a nationally diverse cast (e.g. yuri on ice, street fighter, etc.). obviously it's not 1:1 as the characters in these media are understood to be ... regular people. but i think it would be a purposefully obtuse reading to not account for the appeal of national representation (hell, in yuri on ice they are literally representing for their nation).

regardless of whether or not you like/dislike national personifications, i just wanted to express that the concept itself is not niche and i don't think it should be surprising that lots of people engage with it through a medium they enjoy.

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[matan4il]

Something I see and have seen more of since the SA hearing started was people taking tweets/statements in Hebrew and using Google translate to claim these Israelis are saying really racist, crazy things. Like I'm sure there are asshole Israelis who spout off racist shit, but every country has that, and people can cherry pick whatever they want.

But part of me doubts all of these tweets are even translated correctly. I mean, Google Translate is notoriously bad, but suddenly, it's reliable? I'm sure it's fucking up in some cases, and I wouldn't be shocked if some are straight up wrong or faked (it's not that hard especially now with ai).

But again even if all these racist tweets calling SA's monkeys/slaves and should be bombed are true, those don't represent all Israelis and its clear they're picking the worst examples. Also, it's so annoying to see this idea coming from people who defend the antisemitic stuff in their movement by claiming it doesn't represent all of them. So again it just becomes anouther double standard for Israel/jews in general.

Hi Nonnie,

Absolutely, you're right that there was a lot of taking things out of context, like presenting something that an Israeli official said about destroying Hamas, as if it's said about all Palestinians.

But you're right to be skeptical that maybe some translations are incorrect. Automatic translations ARE bad, but there are also people who are intentionally mistranslating.

I'll give you an example. I'm sorry now that I didn't save that post, but I found the vid that the post used the first 5 seconds from. It's a vid of Yoav Gallant, Israel's Defense Minister, speaking about how, "Gaza won't return to what it was before. We will eliminate everything." Which sounds pretty damning, right? Except the translator intentionally skipped four short words in Hebrew. Gallant actually said, "Gaza won't return to what it was before, Hamas won't be, we will eliminate everything." <- These 3 short words (Hamas lo ihie) totally change the meaning! Here's the vid, and a transcription of the Hebrew words, if you wanna try and follow: "Azza lo tachzor lihiot ma she'hi haita, Hamas lo ihie, nechasel et ha'kol."

Please note that this is an official translation, from an actual news source, the Al Arabiya channel. Which shows you how much you can trust media that's biased against Israel.

Those three omitted words make it clear that what Gallant means will change after the war is specifically that Hamas will be removed from Gaza, and 'we will eliminate everything' refers to the terrorist infrastructure of Hamas in Gaza, not to the entire area.

What gets to me is that you can clearly hear Gallant say 'Hamas' at the start of his second sentence, even without understanding Hebrew or following the entire transcription, so you don't even need to take my word for it. You can listen to it for yourself, and see that someone omitted the word 'Hamas' from the translation, which in the context of a sentence then quoted by countless anti-Israel social media accounts, and by South Africa at the UN's International Court of Justice, is quite a significant omission.

And this is just one example. So yeah, absolutely DO NOT TRUST translations that come from anti-Israel sources. They have every reason to lie, omit and distort, and millions who blindly believe them.

As for how there are some bad apples in Israel, of course there are! Every human group has both horrible and amazing people, and everything in between. That's not the question. In the context of a state, it's a question of whether these people represent an actual policy? Do they even have power to dictate policy? When they say awful things, how are they treated, are they embraced, or denounced? Is the implementation of the state's actual policy in the field indicative of genocidal intents, or do the over 10,000 aid trucks allowed by Israel into Gaza so far, speak louder than an insignificant Israeli politician, who doesn't even have the authority to dictate Israel's policy regarding Gaza, and who thinks he's scoring some cookie points by saying some dumbass shit?

Like one Israeli politician, who's in charge of heritage, whatever that's supposed to mean (I can't tell you a single accomplishment of his, or a task he oversees, but he certainly isn't in charge of ANYTHING that has to do with the war) who was asked (so this dumbass didn't even come up with this dumb take himself), "Would it be a possibility for Israel to use a nuclear bomb on Gaza?" and he said yes. He didn't come up with this idea, he didn't say it's a certainty, he didn't call for its execution, he was just asked about the option and said it exists, except anyone with a single brain cell (yes, you can tell my opinion of him), and certainly the people in Israel with real power, would tell you that even if anyone was that inhumane, dropping a nuclear bomb on Gaza, which is right by Israel, with tons of Israeli communities right next to the border, would kill countless people in Israel, too. Which I am sure he would not actually support in a real life scenario. Oh, and he also got denounced and suspended right away. And still he was quoted at the ICJ, because why not? We all know every country is measured by what its dumbest, least consequential politician says, not by what its leaders do... Oh wait, no. That's just Israel.

So yes, you're right. It is an application of a double standard that discriminates the Jewish state, while most countries aren't treated that way, and while Israel haters themselves wouldn't wanna be treated like that.

I hope you're well, and taking care of yourself in the face of all of this hateful propaganda and discrimination! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[mylight-png]

I just got a stupid reblog saying that "Hamas doesn't want to kill Jews it wants to get rid of colonialist Zionists" and shit. I've already addressed that, being indigenous to Israel, we literally cannot be colonists there, and the history confirms this. That is not the point of this post, however.

If the antisemites will not take my word for it, maybe they will listen to their beloved "resistance group" Hamas and when they are clear about their goals.

So, with that being said, let's take a look at their founding charter, shall we?

"The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said:

'The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, (evidently a certain kind of tree) would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews.' (related by al-Bukhari and Moslem)."

Hmmm. Yes, they definitely only want to get rid of Zionists. For sure. That's why the word "Zionist" was mentioned so many times in this statement of genocidal intent. For sure. (Sarcasm, by the way.)

Let's take a look at another part, hm?

"Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious. It needs all sincere efforts. It is a step that inevitably should be followed by other steps."

Right yes, their struggle is against the Zionists. Not the Jews. For sure. How could I not have seen this before? (Again, sarcasm. Obviously.)

They also mention Jews in addition to Israelis and Zionists as a group of the people they don't like, as well as Christians, such as here:

"'But the Jews will not be pleased with thee, neither the Christians, until thou follow their religion; say, The direction of Allah is the true direction. And verily if thou follow their desires, after the knowledge which hath been given thee, thou shalt find no patron or protector against Allah.'"

Uh. Who is gonna tell them that Jews do not seek to convert anyone? (They might just be referring to Christians, I'll give them that.) However, they still do very clearly vilify those who do not subscribe to their beliefs, and it almost seems as if they wish to violently convert them. Y'know, with the "thou shalt find no patron or protector against Allah". Just saying.

So yeah. Hamas aren't your "freedom fighter" heroes. They are a terrorist group based in genocidal intent.

If you ignore this and fail to condemn them, maybe you just hate Jews. Just saying.

I feel like I'm being a lot more... Not blunt, but I suppose more sassy? With my tone? If that makes sense? But you know what, I'm so fed up with these people not bothering to read a document that is incredibly easy to find online. How can you support something you know nothing about?

So yeah. Hamas's original founding document says it all.

The Antizionism movement is founded, steeped, and marinated in antisemitism.

[softbutchthatlovesyou]

First things first: I am not deactivating. Just. Taking a break.

Mututals: You can get my discord if I don't ask for yours before I leave in a couple days. You can also give me a snap though I may be worse at responding to that.

This is my reasons for leaving so no one thinks I do anything crazy, or if anyone has their own gripe they can take this as a sign to take a mental health break of your own.

.

The Racism on this site remains unchecked, and the agression against black user who call it out should absolutely NOT be that high. You adore recreating the racist systems that got us here in the first place. You think your lense on how we experience opression, even the theories we wrote, are better and clearly so much superior.

Exorsexism is disgustingly rampant. We are a jokes to people. We are fakes to other. We are a convenient argument about people passing. We are "dangerous" to a preciously protected set of binaries that do nothing to help any of us.

Lesbophobia across the site has no reason to be so high on a site with so many Lesbians and yet!! We treat labels like they're more important than lives. People act like a personal interpretation of the idenity is an attack. We go "Being a Lesbian is so complex. It's intricate and special" And then when a butch takes t, or a femmes uses he and maybe even gets top surgery, or someones attraction isnt the simply wlw Lesbianism they're told they're doing it wrong and that it's not fair to try and over complicate being a lesbian.

Transandrophobia and Transmisogyny against me and other trans people on this site is out of control. People are infighting and people are lashing out laterally and comparing it 1:1 to the opression the system holds against all of us.

Intersexism continues to be like, so easy for you guys to commit no matter how many voices speak up about how best to be aware of intersex issues.

You guys adore ableism just as you have for years and years. You're obsessed with degrading people who do mental illness or disability "wrong." You see someone stuggling with illness and you don't wait to tell them your personal opinion on their experience. Adding ocd triggering guilt tripping to post. Refusing to hear out people about adding image ids/alt images and how screen readers work.

The Antisemitism I was seeing well before 10/7 was gross. It only increased as people scrambled not to be associated with "the bad jew." People had mutuals and friends for years that abandoned them at the first chance. They spread lies or twisted truths in order to chose Jewish bloggers off the site. I DO notice that when people make post on antisemitism there is often more Jewish people than goy in the notes acknowledging it. I don't think I've seen one without horrid Antisemitism in it's own notes in months. Multiple people have told me to leave my heritage out of pride in their attempts to keep out Jewish people.

Voices from Palstine are only used when they support certain ideas. You all turned supporting people into a fucking witch hunt against profiles on the Internet. You reblog a post of Palastine joy and then reblog an unsourced tweet about something Palstinians have said isn't true, that slanders Jewish people unprompted. For a long time some of you weren't even sharing the right sources for helping them bc you couldn't fact check before sharing?

-

And then there's fucking STAFF. They couldn't stop themselves from banning trans blogs if you paid them. They couldn't keep harassment campaigns at bay if it killed someone.

They used us to coax queer people here for years by sharing that they support queer identities and even at one point let our porn exist here! And then it was all fucking wiped off the map. Now one mass reporting of an untrue claim can get an minorties blog permanently removed.

They say "We need money!" but when people gave it to them this site got w o r se. They use distractions and try and make stuff around the fun shit we came up with to keep us from fussing.

They mute and remove users who make a loud enough point to sway people. They mute and removes uses that are so quiet no one would notice.

Minorties inboxes are a headache.

.

So I'm out. I'll probably be back at some point because I have things I DO enjoy here.

But for mental health I just gotta catch my breath.

This will be my pinned until I get back I guess im case anyone wonders where I went.

I'll have a queue going of a few last minute things i want on my blog but when it runs out thats it for a while until I return.

Thats all

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series PRT 25

Tagging: @ophelialaufey @madamemaximoff06 @forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

TW: Antisemitic verbiage, hate speech

Oystein had gone to work the next few days trying not to smile so much. Y/n called the shop everyday and they talked for almost an hour. The others thought he was jerking off in his office because he kept locking the door. The last thing he needed was any of them getting suspicious or asking him too many questions about his private life.

Today was different though. She walked through the door with a smile on her face and a brown bag in hand, ignoring everyone else in the shop.

"Hey." Oystein couldn't help but smile looking at her.

"Hi, I brought you lunch." She held the bag up and he laughed.

"I didn't even order anything yet." Oystein looked in the bag and she rolled her eyes.

"As if you weren't going to order from us anyway." Y/n leaned on the countertop and Oystein leaned forward to steal a kiss.

"Thank you. You want to stay and eat with me?" He asked extending his hand. She nodded taking it and following him down stairs instead of to his office.

"Let me grab a drink." He had never taken her down to the Black Circle hangout. She waited in the doorway as he retrieved a coke and a beer from the fridge. She doesn't bother talking to any of the others. She keeps her eyes on Oystein but when Varg stands up, both their attention is turned to him.

"Aren't you a Jew?" Varg blurted.

"Excuse me?" Y/n responded.

"I was going to ask what your thoughts were on these church burnings but then I realized how disgustingly Jewish your last name was." Varg's words were dripping with disdain but everyone else remained silent.

"Back off Varg." Oystein crossed the room towards Y/n but she held up her hand letting him know she was okay.

"That's a lot of talk coming from a guy who had to change his name to fit into his own bullshit narrative." Y/n's words made some of the others look at Varg confused.

"You know, you have some nerve coming in here. You aren't one of us. You could never be apart of what we're creating." Varg seethed.

"You're hanging out in the basement of a record shop talking about idiots who burn buildings down as if that's going to overrun the faith of those people. Newsflash, dumbass...they're buildings. No one was praying in them anyway. They were all rundown and considered historical." Y/n argued.

Varg made a move towards Y/n and Oystein put his hand on his chest.

"I'm serious...back off." Oystein was stern making Varg grit his teeth.

"I don't care if you're fucking her or not. She doesn't belong down here. She clearly doesn't agree with things the Black Circle does so she needs to be gone...now." Varg locked eyes with Oystein and he knew how tense the situation was.

"You're fucking a Jewish chick?" One of the others asked.

"Who I fuck has nothing to do with any of you jerkoffs." Oystein spat.

"Then don't bring a kike in here!" Varg challenged.

"Trust me, I don't want to be in your black metal circle jerk-" Varg shoved Oystein and this time the room moved. Hellhammer stepped into Y/n's side and pulled her back into the hallway to get her out of the fray as Oystein and Varg started arguing. He escourted her back upstairs and he told her to stay in the office. When Hellhammer got back to the bottom of the steps, Oystein ran into him.

"Is she okay?" He asked in a rush.

"She's fine man...but he's right." Oystein looked offended but Hellhammer quickly explained.

"She's not safe around Varg. You know that. He's fucking crazy with that Nazi shit. You know I don't have a problem with her at all, just maybe keep her from downstairs." Hellhammer watched Oystein's face soften before giving him a nod. They both could hear the others talking about gassing her just a few steps below but Hellhammer put his hand on his shoulder.

"Fuck them. Just go eat lunch with your girlfriend man." Oystein continued up the steps thinking about what Hellhammer had just said. He hadn't actually talked to Y/n about being exclusive but he knew that he wasn't seeing anyone else. He could only assume she was only talking to him as well. He also made a great point about Varg.

For some reason, Y/n was able to get under his skin like no one he had ever seen before. It was scary. Oystein walked into his office and saw Y/n sitting in the chair in front of his desk.

"Are you okay?" He asked frowning. He sat across from her sitting the drinks down on the table. She nodded her head.

"Are you burning churches down Oystein?" She asked sounding exhausted. He let his head fall slightly and she sighed.

"Please tell me I'm not going to regret getting into this with you. I need to here, out of jail, not dead. I can't handle losing anyone else." She explained reaching out for his hands.

"I know. I don't want you to regret being with me. I want to give you a reason to be a proud girlfriend." Oystein tried making her laugh.

"You just trying to slip that in there huh?" She put her hand on his cheek and he gave her a soft smile.

"I'm sorry that the answer to your question is disappointing but I won't be involved moving forward. You have my word." Kissing her hand.

"Good because I'm not visiting my boyfriend in lock up." She smiled making him laugh.

"Wow you wouldn't visit me? Not even to sneak in some good food?" Oystein teased.

"Not even then. You'll have to tough it out but you'll definetly need to cut all that pretty hair if you have to do an extended stay." She ruffled Oystein's hair and he leaned over kissing her lips. The two of them heard the others being loud downstairs and he walked over to lock the door so they could enjoy their lunch together. This is the life Oystein never expected to love but sitting in a record shop that belonged to him, with the girl he loved, eating his favorite food...this is the life he never dreamed of but was damn happy to have.

In the back of his mind though, the fear of having someone so precious to him near people as violently motivated as Varg put him on edge. He had to keep Y/n safe from this world.

[spacelazarwolf]

The amount of times that person said "baby suckin" holy shit. If it's such a serious issue to them why are they saying it that way?? Repeatedly? Like it's a funny gotcha? That was weird. Idk what your opinion on that .gov article they linked is but it's not that important to me because I feel like every religion has -something- awful that probably needs to stop. I don't think your refusal to acknowledge the "baby suckin" is you condoning it. Its just pretty damn fucked imo to interrogate every member of a faith you interact with about the worst parts of it that they may or may not even know about. Also if that person happens to see this- if "baby suckin" is so abhorrent then maybe call it something fucking else that gives more respect to the victim of such an act.

considering they’re now replying to as many jews as they can find with this:

my guess is they just hate jews. also i hope someone sees their search history one day and they get outed as the antisemitic nut job they are lmao.