#then martin; hanna; guy Tumblr posts

[nulfaga]

all the paintings of suspects for the dance of death in act iii...

[natjennie]

if something bad happens to caspar right now I'm gonna blow up all of tassing myself actually

[averythepirate]

When the fuck will i find the real killer!!! Stop making me accuse people who are probably innocent!!!! im suffering.

[feastofsnakes]

Not necessarily who you chose, but who you think is most likely to have actually killed him

[boiohboii]

The Twitter Marriage

(Oscar Piastri x fem!driver!reader)

Yn Ln has had a crush on fellow driver Oscar Piastri since their f2 days but she never and will never tell him.... at least not to his face

or

In which Aston Martin driver needed the alcohol to confess her feelings

N.B: rushed a bit cause of finals, but I hope you like it. Also, doesn't follow any timeline tbh. NOTHING IN THIS IS ADDS UP IN REGARDS OF DATES AND CHARACTERS AND STUFF, IT IS JUST FOR FUN.

WARNINGS: REALLY BAD PICK UP LINES, SOME SWEAR WORDS. Probably some spelling mistakes as well. Short fic.

faceclaim: sabrina carpenter

Masterlist

Liked by ynmyworld, f1memes, charliethesinglemom and 168,920 others

Keepingupw/f1: Aston Martin driver, Yn Ln, tweets as she celebrates her p3 in Monaco.... it seems like she has something to say to fellow driver, Oscar Piastri.

username: the entire grid is just having fun with that joke.

username: miss ma'am, STAND UP!!

username: what do you mean stand up? SHE FOLDED LIKE A CHAIR

username: understandably so tbf

username: no but her offering to make Spain Oscar's home race LIKE CARLOS ISN'T LOOKING FOR THAT MAN'S BLOOD.

username: so foul of her 💀

username: her tagging him is insane

username: pr is gonna have a headache tomorrow

username: the fact that she's tweeting this shit while in a club, WHERE OSCAR IS A FEW METERS AWAY FROM HER

username: you know she's out of it when she starts using twitter.

Liked by F1_updates_live, ynmyqueen, oscaroopastryy and 184,710 others

Keepingupw/f1: yn ln on her way back to the hotel last night after celebrating her Monaco podium.

username: she got wasted omg

username: now those tweets make sense

username: where did she even get the shoe box from

username: and where did her shoes go, papers fell out of that thing

username: so are you guys gonna post the video or?

username: what video?

username: there's a video going on twitter where these pics are taken from she was so drunk, she was actually dancing in the middle of Monaco (go queen, live your best life) and then the papers fell out of the box and she immediately went down to pick them up and put them back but then after she was halfway through she kept looking at the ground then at the box and then at her feet, you can see her pouting as she kept putting away the little papers in the box again

username: shut upp!!! I need that video! IT IS A LIFE SAVING MATTER ATP

username: yn ln is gonna be the death of me

yn ln has shared a story

text: when you wake up to a video of drunk you on the streets of Monaco and some tweets that should've gone with you to the grave

yn ln has shared a story

text: self pity and cringe time over, back to our regular schedule of slaying

Sebastian Vettel has shared a story

text: someone tell her that staying with me till the Spanish GP isn't going to make people forget that she exists

yn ln has replied to your story: your kids love me! AND SO DOES HANNA

yn ln has replied to your story: also, please take pity on me, I can't face him again, ever, I will just retire, I can't do this

yn ln has replied to your story: why are you ignoring meeeee!!! Not you too, Oscar is already doing thaaaat, I wanna turn into a worm, I'd die quicker if I was a worm, I wouldn't have to go through this much embarrassment if I was a worm

Sebastian Vettel replied to your message: are you drunk right now?

Liked by pierregasly, wtf1, oscaroopastryy and 268,715 others

Keepingupw/f1: we bring you part 2 of the osyn saga

username: i love this family

username: yn is such a pr nightmare

username: the ACTUAL child of fernando

username: wait, now that you reminded me, I need to update the family tree

username: post the updated family tree you coward

username: anyone who doesn't watch f1 will 100% believe that Charles and Nicole are Oscar's parents

username: hey, don't disrespect charles' heartfelt adoption like that

username: this sport is so fucking unserious

username: I refuse to believe that this is real

Sebastian Vettel has shared a story

Text: huh..... it's not so bad having her here

Liked by OscarPiastri, Charles_leclerc, Arthur_leclerc and 918,037 others

yn ln: let her cook now 🧡

username: yn.... yn..... YN.... WHAT ARE YOU COOKING YN

username: it has started, I can feel it in my bones

username: so she's with Oscar now, good to know (screaming into my pillow as I type)

username: oh so if I wear orange I'm dating Lando now, nice to know ig

username: fuck off away from my replies, I wanna have fun

username: yn pls don't, I can't lose you, you were the only wife left standing

username: PLS TELL ME THAT MY SHIP SAILED

username: if I see that australian's face anywhere on this account I will start biting ankles

username: ok Leo, geez, no need to terrorise your sister-in-law

username: I can't believe she was simping on main for a boy that goes 'wut'

Liked by Ynln, pierregasly, Arthur_leclerc and 890,627 others

Oscar Piastri: let him cook 💚

username: nope, no, nuuh, I see nothing

username: other partner's team colors, matching captions, liking the posts..... yup, they're officially dating

username: we lost her to a mini kimi raikkonen

username: I see that as a win tbh

username: kimi was and is the IT girl of the grid

username: how dare you forget about our very own Britney Spears.... nico you will always be missed

username: you can't prove that they're dating from just that

username: oh boy, the delulu is strong with this one

Oscar Piastri and Yn Ln shared a post

Liked by Charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 903,815 others

Yn ln & Oscar Piastri: I said let them cook 💚🧡

username: YES YES YES YES YES YES

username: MY PARENTS

username: This is why women shouldn't be in f1, wtf is wrong with Oscar? Why would he date yn? And what is this hand placement? Where can I get a yn? Or an oscar?

username: slowly deleting my paragraph

username: had us the first half, ngl

username: yn hide oscar really well during the Spain GP, we leave his safety in your hands

username: THE CURLS OMG

username: MR OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR WHAT IS THIS HAND PLACEMENT

[writingshushf1]

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A man after midnight)

Summary: The one where you are Sebastian Vettel’s engineer through out the years, never realized that maybe, the older man - now newly divorced, had developed feelings for you.

Rating: +16

Warnings: mentions of sex, masturbation, adult (sorta) language, daddy issues.

Word count: 3.5k

Note: since I started this new blog, I’ll post all my ao3 f1 fanfics here! So this is also available in my ao3. btw: this one-shot is inspired on a tik tok by read_between.the_wines (she has really good prompts and I’ll use them a lot!)

masterlist

Sebastian Vettel. Four-time world champion. Has raced for BMW Sauber, Toro Rosso, Red Bull, Ferrari and now, Aston Martin. German. Simple family. Reserved. And now, recently divorced.

That news hit the websites, just the way he didn't want it. They had not been together for a few months, but he had not commented for the safety of Hanna and her children. However, the media always managed to take little pieces of his privacy and spread them to the world.

His closest friends already knew and so did his team, but they all kept quiet about it, they knew him.

A couple of curious eyes were looking for the German at the Aston Martin hospitality. They were friends, the girl might be 7 years younger than him, but they always got along great, especially when she needed to adjust his car. Sebastian was always her safe harbour, since when she joined Ferrari in 2019, only 25 years old and with an impressive knowledge about what he was doing, so when he decided to switch teams, she didn't even hesitate to go for it. The German, on the other hand, he's always had a different take on her - of course, at first it was a platonic feeling, a friendship he never thought he could find, until the day he found himself falling for her. Perhaps, it was the girl who - unknowingly - ended up ending the couple's relationship.

Unfortunately, he knew very well that she felt nothing for him beyond a sweet friendship.

When the woman found him, her expression of curiosity turned bittersweet; she was worried about his condition, sitting on the floor of his driver's room with his hands on his head. She took a few steps and crouched in front of him, touching his arm lightly. At first, the man flinched, but as he smelled the sweet scent of peach perfume, he accepted the caress, letting out a tearful sigh.

"Hey..." She whispered as soon as he lifted his face. He was red, hair messy and beard longer than usual.

"It's public. I'm officially a divorced man."

"They shouldn't have done that. It's cruel. Even more so that you have the girls and the little one." She said quietly. "Did you talk to Hanna after the news came out?"

"Yes... She knows it wasn't our fault." The girl cracked a smile.

"So, if she knows-let's go. Wipe your face and lift your chin. You're too good to succumb to what the media does." She stood, holding out her hand for him to take.

"What would I do without you, liebling?" he laughed, slipping his arm over her shoulder.

"I have no idea. I'm the best friend you could ever have."

…..............................................

She was sitting on top of a large metal box, Vettel beside her, looking at the tools that were on a shelf. It was Saturday after qualifying and they were fixing some technical errors with the car. Their legs wobbled as she listened to him talk about the possible problems, writing them down. As curious eyes lifted to pay attention to their driver, a guy in an Alpine t-shirt walked past them, waving at her and within seconds a silly grin was on his face.

"Someone's got a crush." Sebastian said, in his strong accent.

"Shut up!" She kicked and lightly kicked his leg. "You know I only have eyes for you." She pouted.

"Ahem, I know."

"Come on Seb!"

He only shook his head in denial, cracking a smile. Suddenly, his mobile phone started ringing frantically and he answered it without even seeing who it was, they both knew only one person had that ringtone. His voice was soft yet firm; she didn't understand German, but it sounded like they were disagreeing on something, especially that he pressed his temples with his fingers, taking a deep breath. He hung up, throwing his head back, groaning loudly.

"The little one is sick. My parents can't take the girls and neither can Hanna's parents. I'll need to bring them to the Paddock tomorrow, which I hate because people will be taking pictures."

"Britta can sort it out, can't she? She always does."

"She will. I just think it's going to be a bit weird without Hanna being here with them."

"It'll be fine. I can help you, you know I love the girls and they know I'm the coolest auntie!" She waited for him to come closer to give little slaps of encouragement on his shoulders.

…......................................................

Early Sunday morning, she had arrived and as soon as she entered the Aston Martin hospitality, she felt arms grab her legs. She cracked a smile and looked down, seeing two blonde girls with long smiles, she ran her hand over the hair of both of them, ducking down and being bombarded with love. They ran over each other's words, the sweet girls speaking a German mixed with English that could confuse anyone, however the engineer listened to them intently, with a smile on her face.

Soon, she found the father of these cuties, Vettel was playing ping-pong with Stroll for a video. The three waited away from the cameras for the German, who cracked a warm smile at the sight of them. Even though the girls were not so little anymore, he took one in each arm, walking to his garage. Soon they were distracted by other people on the team, who were loving having two adorable children there.

"They look really cute wearing those Aston clothes." The woman said, nudging him with her elbow.

"They insisted. And I can't always say no."

"So... We'll get a good result today. For them, okay?"

"Okay."

He started in P12 and until halfway through the race, he had not entered the scoring zone, which made the engineer upset. She wanted the kids to see their father happy and in a high position. They did the tyre change a bit too early, which could ruin the strategy, especially as he dropped to P15. However, he was still on a two-lap tyre when several teams started to call for a change, so he moved up positions as he felt confident enough to overtake other drivers. The girls screamed in happiness every time the number 5 car was shown on the various TVs inside the pit lane. He finished in P5 on that cold April afternoon - the girls were self-conscious about how it worked, that their father hadn't won the race, but for them, him finishing fifth where there were 20 other racers was amazing. The three of them ran to the rail, with her holding them so they could see his car very close passing by the finish line.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was conflicted, seeing her with her daughters, having fun and such a natural way, so easy and affectionate. He was trying to push that thought away, but the truth is: he had been thinking about her for a long time.

From the day she first set foot in the Ferrari, the girl hiding behind a cap bigger than her head and red polo shirt twice her size - they didn't have her dress size that week - intrigued him, from the sharp voice, ready to destroy someone in seconds, on another hand, someone so sweet it gave you cavities on just thinking about her. They hit it off at first, the feeling of finding someone who understood your craziness, who stayed late inside the garage studying, tinkering with the car, someone who spoke the language of motoring. Of course, everything was always platonic, he was a married man; she even had a long and painful crush on him, but she moved on, it was too risky to go after a committed man. She just didn't know Sebastian couldn't stop thinking about her, he had loved every bit of her since the day they ran away from the end of the season Ferrari’s party, ending up in some random bar in Maranello, laughing their drunk asses off.

He did not look at his wife the way he looked at her . Several nights, lying in his hotel bed, he would stare at the ceiling and think of calling her, hoping that she would come running and snuggle into his arms, that she would kiss his lips sweetly and spend the night by his side, that he could wake up in the morning with her naked body covered only by a thin blanket. He would touch himself thinking of her. The worst is that she couldn't do that, it wasn't even because of the age difference, she was a grown woman, but he was afraid of compromising the position of both of them - but mainly hers, within the team, it wasn't as if some didn't doubt her real ability normally.

After his interviews and PR duties, he appeared in the garage, seeing from afar the door to his driver's room open and them sleeping on the couch, covered with a duvet. In one corner, the engineer was giving a soft laugh and the older man brought his gaze to her. The girl was leaning against the wall, with a few locks of hair curled in her fingers, her face was flushed and her pupils dilated, in front of her, a tall, dark haired man wearing an Alpine t-shirt. The same man who had waved to her the night before. Internally, he was burning with jealousy, but on the outside, he just took a deep breath and cracked a smile, walking calmly over to them. The German gently touched her shoulder, giving it a squeeze, which made her turn her face away immediately.

"Seb!"

"Hey lieb, are you still going to want a ride back to the hotel? I'll just pick up the girls and be on my way." His tone was low in the hope that the other wouldn't hear.

"Sorry- I'm going out with Matheo. He's dropping me off at the hotel later." She left a kiss on his cheek. "See you tomorrow for breakfast?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow."

He waved to them both as he walked out with the two sleepy little girls. As soon as he turned his face, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, biting his lower lip.

The engineer left with the Alpine strategist shortly after her interaction with Vettel. Matheo quickly took her hand in his, as if to show the others who were leaving that she was his, at first she didn't mind, she was a person who liked to be touched. They were in his car, going to some restaurant she didn't know about - and he didn't make a point of telling her.

"So... You and Vettel?" His voice was soft, yet accusatory.

"We are friends. He's basically a big brother to me, when I got into Ferrari he was always my guide and listened to me, even if I wasn't one hundred percent right." She smiles as she recalls the memories. "I had a side job babysitting the girls when Seb and Hanna wanted to be romantic, at least I didn't spend it alone at the hotel."

"I get it... I thought you might have something, by the way he looks at you ."

"What? No! Seb is very concerned and he has this dad vibe that is so cute. It's not what you're thinking."

He shrugged, parking the car for them to have their supposed romantic evening.

And it was a good one. He bought her a nice dinner, then drove her to her hotel room and kissed her at the door. She brought him into the room and they had sex that night. He wasn't the best she'd ever had, but he definitely made her scream a few times - which wasn't the best idea, since Sebastian's room was next door to hers, at least the girls were going to stay with his parents. On the other side of the wall, the blond couldn't sleep properly, the noises from her room wouldn't let him be at peace. He felt anger, envy, sadness. He was the one who was supposed to leave you like that.

He hadn't slept at all. Then early in the morning he was already drinking coffee when he saw her coming downstairs, her face still a little smeared with makeup.

"Good morning!" She said as she sat down in front of him and received a tired groan in response. "What?"

"It's not easy trying to sleep when the person in the next room is loud." In the same second, she widened her eyes, quickly running her hand over her face, embarrassed that he had heard her groan.

"Sorry! It wasn't intentional. I just... I wanted to please him."

"You mean it wasn't good?" He arched an eyebrow.

"It was! It was good, but not... The best. "

"Wow." He laughed low. "So he really missed something."

"Yeah..." Her face was entirely red. "He was so nice to me all night that I didn't have the courage to tell him that I didn't.... You know, he came pretty close." She mumbled it all out.

"So no second date?"

"First, we've been going out for a few weeks and second, he may not be a knight in shining armour, but he has the potential to be someone good. And I don't want to waste that."

"'I can fix him' syndrome?" he took a sip of his tea. "So... 2000s romance movie. Or daddy issues."

"Vettel!" She couldn't hold back her laughter, putting both hands over her face, hiding it. "Blame my father for abandoning me."

The two of them couldn't control their laughter, drawing attention from a few people around.

….....................................

The engineer was in her loft, lying on the couch with some TV program on. It was half past midnight, a glass of wine in her hand. She hated spending her evenings completely alone, knowing that she couldn't just walk in the next door and her colleagues or Sebastian ready to answer it. The wind whipped against the window, it was so depressing, not a soul there to lift her out of her boredom. Until her doorbell rings. Matheo was there, with flowers. She answered in surprise and he said that refusing her request for him to come to her loft was ridiculous and he could spend even half an hour in busy London for her.

They had had a fight, he had gone out with another girl, and she thought they were exclusive - clearly a miscommunication. And the night at her apartment was post "reconciliation", only he said he wouldn't go, he couldn't stand London. She called Sebastian crying, saying that the strategist didn't care about her and that she wanted so much a hug from the older man, but he was so far away. His heart ached to hear her so destroyed, but he was even angrier when he read the message that appeared almost at one o'clock in the morning, saying that the blessed man had shown up with flowers and that despite everything, he was a good person.

Matheo and she had sex again, not as amazing as the first time - and each time the quality decreased until this time. She blamed the tension of having him again, it was nothing, she could teach him. He left early Sunday morning, saying he needed to get back to see his family.

In the second week of vacation, she received a very important visit. Sebastian Vettel was knocking on her door, with a crate of beer and German sausage.

"You're no good." She said when she saw him, going into his arms in a warm hug.

Again, it was half past midnight, they were drunk. Vettel was making bratkartoffeln, while she was sitting on one of the kitchen benches, drinking beer.

"I know he was an asshole to me, but he tried to fix it. I can give it at least one more chance..."

"But what about the sex?" He looked at her.

"Still bad, but I can change that ." She cracked a damned smile.

"I bet even I could do better than him." He grumbled.

"And how can you be sure?" She asked in a suggestive tone, taking another sip of her beer.

" Because I know you. And I know what you like. " He cracked a smile, focusing on the potatoes in the pan.

"Silly." She slapped his shoulder. "But it's serious. He's good, you know? He doesn't talk about our jobs when we're together, he likes to play video games, and no, he wouldn't steal information from our car even because his team is better than ours."

"You can steal information." He said jokingly, but he was starting to get annoyed with the situation. Was it jealousy? Of course.

"It's serious, Seb. I really think I'll make it official."

"Even though you cried for two hours on the phone with me?"

"I can fix him!" She put her arms up in surrender, repeating the same thing he said to her at the hotel weeks ago.

"Daddy issues."

"You can't say anything if you're single."

"Divorced."

"Same thing."

"Depends on the perspective, lieb."

"How? I don't think so. It's only because you want to get out of the argument."

"Maybe."

"Conflit advoidance."

"Emotional needness."

"Shit." She shrugged, getting down from the countertop and putting the bottle in the trash, soon grabbing another from the fridge. As Sebastian finished the early morning snack for them, she rolled her eyes and spoke again. "But seriously, he looks like a person to introduce himself to his parents! Good job, handsome, nice, takes me to nice places.... The sex is something to improve on, but we know that's only with practice." She laughed.

Suddenly, Vettel closed his eyes and said under his breath. "Can you shut up about him?"

"Um, excuse me?" She turned her face to him, with an annoyed expression.

"Oh-oh! Nothing." He fumbles and almost knocks the sauteed bacon to the floor. "Never mind. Just-just forget it, please." He closes his eyes for a few seconds. "I'm just tired, I'm sorry."

"No! You're not tired." She drops the unopened beer bottle into the sink. "Tell me what you really think about him."

"I... I just not-" She finished putting all the food in, sighing low and leaning his lower back against the counter. "I don't want to hear about him. I don't."

"Why?"

They exchanged glances for a few seconds, in complete silence. Something clicked in the engineer’s mind, making her slowly open her lips.

"Oh my God. Are you jealous?"

He looks away from hers, fiddling with the ends of his blond strands.

"Stop! Are you-are you jealous?" Her voice was slightly shaky.

"Please." He closed his eyes, running his hand over his temples. "Please just shut up about it. Just keep it between us. Just shut up." He muttered, completely embarrassed.

He didn't realise when they got so close, but when he felt her lips almost brushing against his lobe, his breath failed him.

"Make me."

In a single motion, he put his hands on her waist, pressing her against the countertop, and then his body was against her as well. One hand went up to her face and their lips touched. At first, she didn’t kiss back, her head was processing what just happened between them. Sebastian pulled away after a few seconds, she didn’t reciprocate, ‘of course she wouldn’t, she’s in love with that Alpine douche bag’ the older man thought. Her head was full, all the suppressed feelings for him, the need to find other men to endlessly satisfy her and yet she was never satisfied, because they weren’t him. Matheo wasn’t Vettel, he never could be even one percent of what the German was.

When the blond was loosening the touch around her, the engineer finally woke from her trance, grabbing his shirt with both of her hands, pulling him back against her, connecting their lips. It was a sloppy kiss, deep and passionate, it looked like they waited years to share it - in fact, it did. Her hands were on his chest, while he embraced her waist, pulling her closer. Their lips fit perfectly, their rhythm was like no other and their tongues passed each other’s, enjoying the bitter taste of beer. It started to become sloppier, with her leg going up his waist and his body adjusting in the middle of her legs, small moans and lip bites were exchanged - maybe too many times, but they weren’t sober enough to care. The engineer’s lips lowered to his jaw and soon they were along his neck, biting, licking and nibbling spots that would be very visible next morning. Vettel threw his head back at the action, groaning her name, lowering both of his hands to her ass cheeks, squeezing it.

“Bed… Bedroom.” He said, breathless.

She smiled and walked out from him, going up the mezzanine’s stairs and waiting for him. As soon as he reached her, he threw her on the bed, with a naughty smile.

“Show me… How much you know me.”

“Of course, lieb.” He kneeled on the bed, holding her shirt hem.

[bakersimmer]

Hanna: Have you ever gone out with somebody considerably younger than you? Martin: (pondering) I guess... Hmm... more like definitely…

Hanna: (stunned) You've been on so many dates that you don't even remember them all? Martin: Duh… The dating show. Hanna: Oh, right! Anyway, a few nights ago, I went out with a guy who claimed to be 28 on his profile, but surprise-surprise, he turned out to be just 20.

Hanna: (exaggerated tone) Oh, boy... His mom didn't give him going-out money, so guess who got stuck with the bill… Martin: (frowning) Hanna: And before I left the bar, this charmer slapped me on the ass and declared, "I'm going to rock your world tonight!" I was so befuddled that the only thing I managed to say was, "Can't, my mom and dad are home.”

Martin: (pretends to cough to hide he's laughing) Hanna: (notices) Ah, cheater! Martin: (shakes his head) Pollen… Hanna: (triumphantly) Butts, poop, and boobies – A foolproof formula to make a guy laugh!

Martin: (clears his voice, trying to sound serious) Okay, I see you really need help in this department, so listen carefully. Hanna: (does as she's told) Martin: (leans in with a playful grin) Don't go out with guys who live with their moms or with their adult children. It's weird. Hanna: Stop mocking me! (nudges Martin's shoulder) I bet you weren't exactly better at his age. Martin: Well… Hanna: Don't tell me you were worse! Martin: I've always been a gentleman... My first girlfriend was older than me, and I told her multiple times she rocked my world. (snorts) Although, it really didn't take much to rock my world when I was 15. And I never added that many years to my age... Like, who would have even believed it? (looks at Hanna)

Hanna: Implying that I'm gullible? Martin: Maybe just a little. Hanna: (proudly) I may be gullible, but at least I'm not a cheater.

previous / beginning / next

[ejzah]

You Had Me at Jack, Part 7

***

After a fairly long phone call, Kensi Blye returned to the bedroom with a pinched expression.

“Apparently you and my team are going to LAPD for a meeting with your boss,” she informed him.

“You got reamed out, huh?” he guessed. She rolled her eyes.

“No. My boss isn’t happy we didn’t realize there was an open and ongoing investigation, but I think she’s more annoyed with your supervisor.”

“Ah, Roger Bates. Yeah, he kind of hates you guys, so I’d be careful what you say.”

“Fantastic.” She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, inadvertently revealing a healthy amount of cleavage. Deeks cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow, and she hastily dropped her arms, cheeks turning an amazingly dusky shade of red.

“I need pants,” she declared, turning abruptly. “And a bucket of coffee.”

“I’ll take a vanilla latte,” he called after her. “Hold the whip cream.”

***

A few hours later, Deeks waited outside Roger Bates’ office, slouched against the wall. He’d already received his own call from Bates, who had some very choice and not child friendly words to say about NCIS and Kensi Blye’s team. After assuring that the case hadn’t been compromised, calmed down slightly.

“Right through here, Agents,” Bates’ secretary said, ushering Kensi, now dressed in jeans and a coral colored t-shirt, and two men into the outer room. He caught her eyes and winked.

“Agent Blye.”

“Detective Deeks,” she responded, her pitch dropping just a touch. Now that was interesting. “These are my colleagues, Agents Sam Hanna and G. Callen.”

“Nice to meet you. Can I interest you in a cup of coffee? It’s terrible, but it helps to fill any awkward silences,” Deeks said. Agent Callen gave him an odd look, shaking his head.

“I think we’re good.”

“Alrighty.”

“You’re telling me you’re really a cop?” Agent Hanna asked, looking Deeks up and down with a perplexed expression.

“Yep,” Deeks confirmed with a knowing grin. “He tipped his chin up at him. “Detective Martin A. Deeks, undercover division at your service.”

“They don’t have a dress code?”

“Not really. The department understands that undercover work requires a certain amount of leeway, even eccentricity if you will.”

“I guess it would take a special sort to dress up in a Jack Dawson costume every night for weeks at a time,” Agent Callen commented. “Kensi said you played the roll very convincingly.”

“Oh my god, don’t listen to a word they say,” she groaned, glaring at them. “They’re a couple of idiots.”

Before Deeks could same something in return, Roger Bates barreled into the office, greeting the three agents with the barest of nods when they introduced themselves.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” he said, impatiently inviting them into the office. “So, why don’t you tell me what brought you in to nearly blow my detective’s cover?”

“We had information that linked him to a murder we’re investigating,” Callen shared, pausing expectantly. When Bates didn’t take the hint, he added, “Just to give you a forewarning, our boss, Hetty Lange, will likely be recommending NCIS take lead on this case.”

“And she can take that suggestion and shove it,” Bates said, unmoved.

Deeks saw Kensi’s brows raise in surprise. He’d guess that Bates was a revelation for the whole team.

“Our team is specially trained for this kind of situation. Can you say the same?” Sam asked, his smile ever so slightly condescending.

“Deeks is the bane of my existence, but he’s also damn good at undercover work,” Roger Bates declared, looking supremely annoyed at having to make such a statement. “Which of you fellas think you could fit in at a dance club like that?”

Kensi snorted, immediately covering her mouth, muttering an apology under her breath. Deeks concealed a grin at her slip.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me,” Deeks joked. “Anyway, I’ve been investigating a possible money laundering scheme. It’s important, but probably not enough to get a federal agency involved.”

“We take financial crimes very seriously,” Agent Hanna said.

“Well, in that case, I suggest you buy some tear-away pants and find a good waxer,” Deeks said brightly, settling back for what would likely be a very entertaining meeting.

***

“Well, that was interesting,” Deeks commented, strolling out Bates’ office with Kensi by his side. “Your boss is an extremely reasonable woman.”

“Gloating is a very unattractive quality,” she grumbled.

“Oh, don’t be bitter, Agent Blye. Just because your Miss Lang agreed to give LAPD lead on the case doesn’t mean we can’t be civil.”

“Right. You’re already causing trouble.”

“How? I have done nothing but be an absolute delight,” Deeks objected with feigned shock.

“Like you don’t know. I’m talking about the winking, and suggestive comments, the looks,” she rattled off, leaning towards him.

“So, what you’re saying is that you were watching me.”

“Oh no, don’t try to turn this around on me.”

He turned so he faced her, placing a hand on his hip as she stared at him with a furious expression. It was kind of cute.

“Do you want to talk about what happened last night? You know, with the whole making out on my couch thing,” he clarified. “I mean, since we will be working together, it seems like we should be completely honest and open with each other.”

“That was just to keep my cover and don’t you dare think of opening anything in front of me,” she said.

“What if I offered to give you a private show?”

To his surprise, she stilled, eyes flickering with interest before she caught herself, and huffed out a forced laugh.

“Right. In that case you’d be paying me.”

“Uh-huh, you keep telling yourself that, Agent Blye.” He dropped his head towards her ear, whispering, but if you change your mind, I’ll be your Jack any day.” He was rewarded with her inhaling sharply, and he grinned to himself, sauntering away.

[grendelsmom]

I’m obsessed with how Pentiment truly manages to put the player in a position where no choice feels good and every option is so deeply trenched in doubt. Especially in act 1, also in act 2, but act 1 hits that particular angle so much harder.

And part of that is because the Baron is truly such a piece of shit. You can choose to kill Lucky, but even if he did it (which you are never certain about with any of the characters) the Baron was responsible for his pregnant daughters suicide and therefore disgrace even in death. Who could blame Lucky for hating him? You can choose to kill Ferenc, but the Baron blackmailed him due to Ferenc’s interest in the occult, which would surely get him killed by the church, and the Baron only used it to further his own gain. You can choose to kill Ottilia, but the Baron physically abused her husband and killed him in the long run. Which made Ottilia not only lose her husband, whom she loved by all accounts, but also her entire livelihood, because as a widow, she can’t inheret. You can choose to kill Matilda, but the Baron tried to rape her and physically abused her so heavily that she had to leave for months so that no one would notice. But you still have to condem one of them because otherwise, Piero gets the chop.

It’s different in act 2 because Otto is not directly responsible for the harm that comes to the suspects. But they are all just people trying their best. Hanna is at a bad place in her marriage and has, to be fair, an affair with a truly horrible man. But at the end of the day she’s trying to protect her husband and her son and the life they have build in Tassing. Martin/Jobst saw his chance after years as a bandit on the road to get away from that, to lead a better life, and he took it. He’s trying to be a good husband and a good father all while pretending to be someone he is not, but still being better to literally everyone around him than Martin ever was. And Guy is a piece of shit to quite literally everyone in Kiersau and Tassing, but that’s because he is deeply unhappy and bitter about the life he is forced to live. He can never go back home, never be around his people anymore. He’s forced to live as a monk for the rest of his life, so what he does is he steals to help and save those who can not save themselves.

And Pentiment tricks you into believing that this is a fun medieval murder mystery game where you get to play detective and takes all these hard choices and shoves their consequences in your face. There's no good outcome because it was never fair in the first place.

[dijon-mayonnaise]

Hanna getting killed is the most valid choice in act 2 just because Martin and Guy's existence makes the world a better place

Martin is an ally to his lesbian wife and Guy actively helps Jewish people, like what does Hanna do ? Cheat on her husband with a male podcaster?

[chernobog13]

Some of the cast from The Thing From Another World (1951). This shot was used for posters and lobby cards for the film.

Actor Robert Cornthwaite, who played Dr. Carrington (on the left, the bearded fellow holding the flashlight) was arguably the best character out of a film filled with nothing but great characters. TIL he was in his early 30s when he made this film; that's a fantastic make-up job.

Also TIL the tall fellow in the back on the right is John Dierkes. He was a former FBI agent who originally went to Hollywood as a technical advisor. He got the acting bug and quit the Bureau.

What I already knew: the gentleman holding the carbine that obscures most of his face is Paul Frees. Even if you could see his face you might not recognize him, but you would as soon as you heard his voice. Frees worked for decades as a voice actor for radio, animation, and dubbing foreign films. Some of his credits include Boris Badenov from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, Ben Grimm/The Thing from Hanna-Barbera's Fantastic Four cartoon (his is the voice I hear in my head when I read Ben Grimm in the comics, especially when he says "It's Clobberin' Time!"), Burgermeister Meisterburger from the perennial holiday special Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, and the French radio reporter from the American dub of Destroy All Monsters who describes Baragon (really Gorosaurus) destroying the Arc de triomphe.

As for the other guys in the photo: I'll do a separate post soon on Kenneth Tobey (from, with the axe) and Dewey Martin (the airman with the handgun) and their involvement in the film.

As for the blonde guy in the back with the pickaxe, I got no idea. I think he's a stand-in for James Young, who played Tobey's co-pilot Eddie Dykes. Please lemme know if anyone has any info.

[fortheloveofaussiegrit]

Ahhhhhhh your tags are amazing thank you!!! And thank you for reading my stuff. And yeah god RBR and Ferrari Seb would be like two massive reactions. Can even see it being they yearned for each other so long and only got together when Seb was in Aston Martin and he’s like “My god that took you guys so long” if they hadn’t figured it out before he had retired Seb would’ve absolutely set them up.

Also praying you find your vape djdjjdhd

no thank you!! i haven't read fic in a while now and it was a pleasure.. my mind is going in so many directions. fabian coming to race with seb and being like uhh just gotta head out for two ticks heard theres some hot guy presenting on channel 4.. seb setting them up thoooo!! not telling either and just inviting them around for dinner.. hanna would be in full support... uhh can u guys house sit the dogs whilst we're away.. seb and mark just having lunch at a race one time and him just bringing fabian.. inviting mark on a family holiday?? seb playing cupid one hundred percent and he would love doing it too. also like mark going to Fabians races??

[browzerhistory]

OC MASTERPOST

(plain text: oc masterpost)

the goal here is to have a Big List of all my little guys and eventually make refs/posts for all of them at least once so i can link them. i'll organize them by fandom/story if they're original universe guys. anyways It Begins under the cut

RAIN WORLD

safe ship, harbored + the historian: ref sheet and askblog @safe-ship-harbored)

reincarnation ascension + the harbinger: ref sheet

scale of a tamed beast + scugs: ref sheet

rainstorm over sea + the caregiver: ref sheet

chime of eight bells: no ref

in a thousand grains of sand, a pearl: no ref

the beggar: no ref

MARROW & CHRYSALIS (oc story)

yanahel "yanny" owens: ref in this post (link)

tegan anders: no ref

stella martin: no ref

violet west: no ref

hanna baker: no ref

adam & vivienne williamson: no ref

amadeus ???: no ref

sasuke sawada: no ref

STEVEN UNIVERSE

banded amethyst: no ref

sunset diamond: no ref

light blue diamond twins: no ref

black star diamond: no ref

honey diamond: no ref

grape agate: no ref

delilah reese: no ref

emilia winza: no ref

UNDERTALE/DELTARUNE

Clustertale characters:

sans (orchid) and papyrus (citrus): no refs

nototon: no ref

alphys and undyne: no refs

toriel: no ref

Other:

roman, tillana, and delius: no refs

verdana: no ref

hess: no ref

[bakersimmer]

Martin could barely take a seat when Hanna started talking. Irritation clearly etched on her face; it was more than clear that Hanna planned to say out everything she thought about her date, Artur.

Hanna: (angry and annoyed) I swear, I should have sprinted out of there the moment he opened his mouth! It was like he was auditioning for a one-man show. Having grown up with two sisters and now living with a wife and daughter, Martin had mastered the art of smiling and nodding. However, every now and then, some blunt comments still found their way out of his mouth.

Martin: (nodding) Hmm… Hanna: (exasperated) I mean, seriously, the guy didn't even ask about me! I could have been a cardboard cutout for all he cared. It was like he had a script in his head, and I was just an audience of one.

Martin: (chuckling) Hanna: (rolling her eyes) Then he talked about his exes, and surprise, surprise, they were all "self-centered you-know-what's" in his words. I had to endure a whole monologue about how he's the victim in every relationship. Martin: (shakes his head) Hanna: And to top it off, he couldn't keep his hands off his phone. I swear, he was probably swiping right under the table, already planning his next date. Martin: (laughing) Efficient guy. Hanna: (sarcastic) Yeah… let’s give him a trophy… Hanna: (with newfound determination) I even asked him if he thought his exes were the problem in all his relationships, and you know what he said? Martin: (shrugs) Hanna: (mocking Artur's tone) "Well, Hanna, I was just too good for them. They couldn't handle me." Martin: But maybe that's exactly how it was. Hanna: (rolling her eyes) I see you are not taking me seriously... Martin: According to the Council of Men, I must back up a bro… Hanna: (annoyed grunt) Martin: Okay, okay! I don't think he even tried to be polite. Or maybe it was just his way of sifting out, and unfortunately, you didn’t make the cut.

Hanna: So you're saying he acted like a jerk on purpose? Martin: (Shrugs) I'm just making assumptions. Hanna: Hmm… But how would you behave if you were single and looking for a partner? Martin: (laughs) No, no, no! If I find myself single again, I'll gladly stay that way until the end of time. Hanna: Bullshit, Martin! Start thinking because I need an answer. And note that I do not give up easily! Martin: (grunts) Alright! Hypothetically speaking… Hanna: (eagerly waiting) Martin: I wouldn't put all the eggs in one basket. I'd keep my options open. Hanna: I see... you're a player.

previous / beginning / next

[creativecuquilu]

Today is my birthday. And for this year, here is something I've been thinking about for quite a long time: A good bunch of my favorite male characters - including those I recently knew or I like but not enough as to fanart, but taking away everyone I've abandoned or just felt like they shouldn't be here - all gathered up in a boxing ring, the majority wounded and weary, but some a bit dirty and confused. Serious and sad faces, a dark story to tell behind their piercing bleary looks but for some, way worse. And of course - the simplycity, cartoonism and bouncyness of my circled neckless heads, bubble eyes and long rectangly trapece bodies. Dedication and pressure to myself cannot be forgotten on this process...as well as telling you this is based off the Whatcha Say meme. And now the copyrights, which tells you the characters, their series, their actors and their rights, starting from the first row. Hope you like it! But first...Artwork (c) @CreativeCuquiLu Peter Venkman - Ghostbusters - Bill Murray (c) Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Paul Atreides - Dune - Kyle Maclachlan (c) Universal Pictures, David Lynch and Frank Herbert James Tiberius Kirk - Star Trek - William Shatner (c) Desilu Productions, CBS Paramount Television and Gene Roddenberry Larry Daley - Night in the Museum - Ben Stiller (c) 20th Century Fox, 1492 Pictures and 21 Laps Entertainment Agent K - Men in Black - Tommy Lee Jones (c) Columbia Pictures and Barry Sonnefield Horatio Caine - CSI Miami - David Caruso (c) Anthone E. Zuicker, Ann Danahue, Carol Mendelsohn, Jerry Bruckheimer Television and CBS Television Studios Jaime Lannister - Game of Thrones - Nikolaj Coster Waldau (c) HBO Entertainment and George R.R. Martin Guy Montag - Fahrenheit 451 - Oskar Werner (c) and Ray Bradbury Rick Deckard - Blade Runner - Harrison Ford (c) The Ladd Company and Ridley Scott Roj Blake - Blake's 7 - Gareth Thomas (c) BBC and Terry Nation Luke Skywalker - Star Wars - Mark Hamill (c) 20th Century Fox, LucasArts Films and George Lucas Dave Lister - Red Dwarf - Craig Charles (c) BBC Marty McFly - Back to the Future - Michael J. Fox (c) Universal Pictures and Steven Spielberg Sherlock Holmes - The Hound of the Baskervilles - Tom Baker (c) BBC James Bond - Goldeneye - Pierce Brosnan (c) United Artists Pictures Inc. Michael Knight - Knight Rider - David Hasselhoff (c) Universal Pictures Aragorn - Lord of the Rings - Viggo Mortensen (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment, United Artists Pictures Inc, Peter Jackson and J.R.R. Tolkien The Doctor - Doctor Who - David Tennant (c) BBC Arthur Dent - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Simon Jones (c) BBC and Douglas Adams John Hannibal Smith - The A Team - George Peppard (c) Universal Pictures Lucky Luke - Lucky Luke - Jacques Thébault (c) United Artists Pictures Inc, Réne Goscinny and Morris Peeta Mellark - The Hunger Games - Josh Hutcherson (c) Lionsgate Films and Suzanne Collins Alan Grant - Jurassic Park - Sam Neill (c) Universal Pictures, Steven Spielberg and Michael Crichton Asterix - Asterix and Obelix - Roger Carel (c) Extrafilm Produktion GMBH Berlin, René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo Shaggy Rogers - Scooby Doo - Casey Kasem (c) Hanna Barbera Neo - The Matrix - Keanu Reeves (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment, Village Roadshow Pictures and The Watchoski Brothers Gomez Addams - The Addams Family - John Astin (c) Hanna Barbera Inspector Gadget - Inspector Gadget - Don Adams (c) DIC Entertainment Corp. Harry Potter - Harry Potter - Daniel Radcliffe (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment and J. K. Rowling Rocky Balboa - Rocky - Sylvester Stallone (c) Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and United Artists Pictures Inc And for anyone who wants to watch its process...