#then like. 3-4 days is not unreasonable to imagine….

[latinokaeya-moving]

i’m trying to figure out the theoretical journey to take from sumeru to get to mondstadt based on random estimates/reasonable assumptions and i’ve come to the conclusion that if you were travelling by land then there’s no way you would be getting there in anything less than a week’s time

[citrustan]

for what it's worth [3/4] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff, light smut, college student!reader x crush!jungkook

summary: you make an awful revelation about your crush of two years.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: some bitchiness (or like justice? idk it's up to you really)

note: yes. there is a chapter 4 because i'm not ready to let go of this just yet. and a thank you.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Two weeks passed by and you and Jia pretended as if absolutely nothing happened. It was simply the quiet before the storm.

Your days seemed to blend into nights, you felt yourself slipping into a bad place mentally. Always feeling distant and fatigued.

The emotional turmoil of having your trust broken and your privacy invaded caused you to miss out on much needed sleep.

While on the outside, everything seemed pretty much the usual except for a few painfully obvious differences.

You had stopped (publicly) obsessing over Jungkook, and it initially invited a lot of concern from Yoongi and Namjoon. But they didn’t push you too much when you blatantly ignored their questions about him. You also avoided Jia as much as you could. She didn’t seem to have noticed.

Despite your crush on Jungkook, you had come to accept the boundaries of your non-friendship with him and the fact that he was deeply committed to Jia.

You had no intention of causing any harm to their relationship, as you had already shared your support with Jungkook for their secret.

It was difficult to not think of them. It often made you break into tears of anger and frustration. You had to mourn your loss.

Every night, thoughts of Jungkook would continue to consume you. You’d still imagine him to be yours. Images of him smiling at you and his voice calling you cute would linger in your mind.

It’s just pretend. There’s no harm in it.

You knew that Jia had described you as a ‘creep’ to Jungkook, but the label bothered you. You were not a creep, and you wanted to understand why Jia had portrayed you that way. No matter what you came up with in your head, nothing was a good enough reason to call you such a gross name. Sure, she hadn’t revealed to Jungkook your identity but that baffled you more.

Also, had Jungkook never wondered about this ‘creep’?

Too many things kept you up at night and you couldn’t stand being on the other side of the truth. You could no longer afford to let these things bother you. You were too fucking old for this shit.

With the final week before your course evaluations being right around the corner, you had subconsciously come to some harsh unanimous decisions. They weren’t impulsive or unreasonable. You really had thought this through. These decisions may be a risky, or bitchy, or just as sneaky as Jia was, but they’d still be within reason.

He needed to know the truth about you, Jia, and what she told him.

You wanted to tell Jia that you knew about them. It probably wasn’t going to come out of Jungkook, so it had to be you.

Why must you continue to suffer?

You didn’t want to wait around and anticipate Jia’s next move.

You’re not the type of person who sits around and ignores things like these. You had held it in for a while now.

You understood that your actions would have consequences and you were more than ready to face them. You hoped.

While you pretended nothing ever happened, Jia and you saw way less of each other.

You could count the times you interacted, or even passed by, or saw each other over the weeks on one hand.

Still, every time you’d think about your interaction with Jungkook, you were reminded of Jia too. Him and Jia. You couldn't help but notice his annoyingly deep feelings for Jia. He was so… considerate of her. It probably is just the bare minimum but it doesn’t matter. You could tell he was a great boyfriend to her. No wonder she kept him hidden.

Sometimes, it felt so wrong and scandalous to fantasize about the man. Maybe it even is so. But you weren’t just infatuated with Jungkook. You really liked him. Emotions like these don’t disappear overnight.

You longed to be loved and held by him too.

The campus shuttle came to an abrupt halt, indicating that it was the last stop. You had missed yours.

*

As the semester continued, Jungkook found himself missing the moments he had shared with you before everything became so complicated. Jia completely stopped mentioning you. Whenever he’d ask, she’d pout and demand his attention to be back on her. While he’d give into her, you still remained in the back of his mind.

It was late in the evening, and Jungkook had decided to take a break from his hectic study schedule, opting to go for a walk around his dorm on campus.

As he neared the drop-off point for the shuttle, he couldn't help but think about you, remembering the first time you had met at a bus stand.

He stood there, lost in thought, when he suddenly saw a figure leaning against the street light.

An involuntary smile crossed his face as he couldn't believe the coincidence.

"_____, is that you?" Jungkook called out, waving to get your attention. He jogs to where you now stood upright.

You turned towards him, your eyes widening in surprise as you recognized him. "Jungkook? What are you doing here?"

He chuckled and motioned to the bus station. "Well, it seems like the bus stands are our special spot. I thought I'd take a break and enjoy the nostalgia."

You let out a mix of a sigh and an awkward laugh, feeling a mixture of nostalgia and uncertainty. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Jungkook nodded, and he noticed the hesitation in your eyes. "Would you like to grab some dinner? We can catch up?"

You were caught off-guard.

"Right now? It's not late enough for dinner." You attempt to find an excuse.

"Sure it is. There's a new Chinese fusion restaurant right off the road outside." Jungkook urged.

"Fusion? What is it fused with?" You wondered.

Jungkook paused. "I... Actually don't know. Want to find out?" He smiled, invitingly.

Not used to the attention he was giving you just now, you found it difficult to tell him 'no'.

Especially when you really wanted to 'catch up' with him.

So, you reluctantly agreed, and the two of you were headed to the nearby restaurant.

Jungkook smiled back at you as he led the way, "Do you want me to hold your hand? It looks heavy."

WHAT?

Your mouth slightly parted open.

Oh, my god? What was his deal?

You're malfunctioning.

"No. I'd rather not..." You hesitantly refuse. Jungkook slows down to let to catch up to him. "Are you sure? You look like you've been carrying that around for a while. And, I really wouldn't mind it."

More confused than ever, "Well, it is attached to me. I'm okay."

"Well, un-attach it! I'll hold it for you." Jungkook's hands graze your shoulder.

Your brows furrow. Finally, you just ask him. "What?"

"Let me hold your bag. Unbuckle, un-attach, relax." Jungkook blabbered as he switched positions to walk behind you, gently taking your backpack off your shoulders.

Oh.

Oh, no. Did you really think he was asking to hold your hand? Really now?

You big dummy with a capital 'D'.

You sigh. "Okay. Thanks, but let me just-" You cut yourself off by unzipping your backpack and pulling out a white sweater with pearls for buttons.

The two of you pause mid-way so you can comfortably wear your sweater. The temperature was dropping my the hour.

Although you don't have your matching mittens and earmuffs, it should be fine.

"That's pretty, _____." Jungkook complimented you.

"Where'd you get that?" He asked, thinking about how much Jia would like this kind of clothing.

You shyly blush and look down at your glossy, red pointed toe heels, "Thanks. I made it myself with the yarn my mother spun for me."

Jungkook looked genuinely impressed. "No way. That's got to be worth a lot then."

You stared up at him with big eyes. Nobody had ever said such sweet things to you.

(That's a lie. Your other friends have always praised your clothes and outfits. But this is different, so it's ok!)

You wordlessly, softly smile at him. Jungkook stares back at you.

Suddenly, his expression changes. His eyes grow big and his mouth forms a smile, "Ah! Could I commission you to make something just like that for Jia? She loves stuff like that!"

And just like that, your heart shattered. Again.

Your kind smile turned into a forced one. "Maybe if I have time."

You noted that he didn't demand or suggest you to make a sweater for Jia, but rather requested it and offered to compensate for it. That just tells you more about how considerate and present he is.

Every time you've talked to people about your handmade clothes, they'd beg you to make them one or jokingly ask about it so that if you do end up making something for them, they wouldn't have to pay you for your efforts. This doesn't include your friends, obviously. And, even if your friends were to act this way, you'd gladly gift them your handiwork.

Well, even though he's somewhat of a stranger to you, if Jungkook ever asked you for something, you'd probably just do it for him too. No questions asked.

Jungkook asked you about your day and your classes. And, you him.

As you were walking on the snow covered sidewalk, you mentally cuss yourself out for picking these shoes. Not only were your feet partially frozen and numb, but also you were ruining very expensive shoes.

"Oh! Puddle, watch out." Jungkook swiftly skipped over a puddle of water that horizontally covered a significant portion of the walkway from one end to the other.

You watched him regain his footing and turn back to you.

Does he expect you to leap like that? Your legs aren't as long as his! But, you don't gave a choice.

You can't step in it, it could very well be a hole of icy water. That'd be risking a potential amputation.

You can't walk around it because there's nowhere to go. And, you can't switch to walking on the road because, well it's dangerous, and there's a metal partition placed specifically to avoid mixing people on wheels and people on foot.

Jungkook puts his hand out for you to grab.

"Just put one foot out to this side and I'll pull you up. Don't worry! I've always done this with Jia." He mentions Jia, hoping to reassure you that he wouldn't let you slip.

All it does is make you more uneasy. Just the thought of Jia. It has an odd effect on you. Your body feels colder. You shudder briefly.

Your only goal now is to get past this stupid puddle without humiliating yourself. You realize that delaying this makes you look more cowardly, hence humiliating you.

So, you grab hold of Jungkook's surprisingly warm hand. Not going to lie, you faked some uncertainty just so you could keep holding his hand.

Someone has got to get you in check.

Jungkook urged you to trust him yet again. His stance showed he was prepared to pull you through.

You lift your left foot and somehow land it on the other side of the puddle. Not even a second after, Jungkook roughly pulls you to him with all his strength.

Not expecting this amount of force, you clumsily collide into his chest, immediately wrapping your arms around his torso to avoid falling back into the very puddle you were trying to get across from.

Jungkook reciprocates by circling his arms around your shoulders and head.

How you wished he held you elsewhere, but he was so respectful.

Everything happened so quickly.

Embarrassed, your breath hitched and you suddenly pushed him to the side.

"Sorry." You whisper. You don't know if he could even hear you.

You fix your sweater and continue staring at your feet, eyeing the little droplets of water on your pants.

Your tummy and nether regions were blazing fire and you felt your nipples slowly hardening. You clench your hands into fists, desperately praying nothing is visible. I mean, you were wearing white.

You wanted so badly for Jungkook to reach out, just stick his hand up your top and soothe your pretty, sensitive nips. Your breathing has become unstable for a few seconds.

You should be beaten up for having these thoughts about a taken man.

Jungkook suddenly places his hand on your arm, making you jolt. "We're close. Look, it's there." He smiles and points to the establishment.

"Great. I'm so cold." You try to play it off, just in case he noticed something.

You then cover your chest by flipping your hair back over it.

This time, he let you walk ahead of him.

On reaching the restaurant, Jungkook skipped ahead of you and pulled the door open for you. "After you." He smiled, goofily.

You blush and instantly shake it off, "Why, thank you. My fragile hands could never."

Jungkook and you were immediately hit by the warmth and coziness of the home style, Chinese fusion restaurant.

"Huh. This is not at all what I expected." Jungkook looked around, pleased with himself.

You replicated that action.

The restaurant was designed to replicate someone's home, or garage. It had unique tables and chairs. No two items were the same. Even most of cutlery was different.

You appreciated the dedication to this concept.

"Good evening! Table for two?" A very familiar voice interrupted you.

Your head abruptly turned towards the direction of the voice.

"Joon!" You exclaimed, rushing over to throwing yourself into his personal space.

Surprised by your sudden enthusiasm, Jungkook raised a brow. This was the most chipper he'd ever seen you.

Jungkook and Namjoon knew each other.

Other than from your constant yapping, Namjoon knew of Jungkook because Jungkook was actively trying to pursue Namjoon, pleading for him to be Jungkook's musical mentor. However, Namjoon wouldn't budge.

Namjoon instantaneously engulfs your whole body with his arms, rubbing your back.

When Namjoon clearly looked at the man stood behind you, his eyes widened.

No way.

Is this why you went off-grid? Had you finally managed to bag Jeon Jungkook? Namjoon was too stunned to move.

Namjoon was just about to ask you about it when Jungkook speaks instead. "Table for two is right. Thanks."

You let go off Namjoon, confirming Jungkook's words.

Whatever. Namjoon will be blowing your phone up later either way. So, he decided to let you off the hook for the rest of the evening.

Namjoon cheekily smiles at the two of you as he leads you into an isolated booth.

It was a space behind some beaded curtains, giving the illusion of the space being more private.

The table was relatively smaller and surrounding it were three chairs; two regular wooden ones with soft cushions, and one loveseat.

Then, Namjoon abruptly left.

You didn't realize what Namjoon was doing until he returned with two menus and something that looked like a candle and a lighter.

Oh, no.

No. This was NOT happening.

You frown and awkwardly wait for him to set the table up and leave.

What? There's nothing you can do or say without overreacting! It's not like you WANT to wine and dine your friend's boyfriend.

(You totally do, but you would not pull something like that purposely.)

Jungkook seemed to just go with the flow, unbothered.

You promptly sat yourself on one of the wooden chairs and Jungkook opted to sit on the comfortable loveseat.

"So, how do you know Namjoon?" Jungkook wasted no time.

"We've been friends for a while." You continue, "Jia too. She knows him."

At that, Jungkook raises a brow. Jia knows Namjoon? Jungkook has mentioned Namjoon many times before. Jia never indicated that she knew him.

Still, he brushed it off.

"How do you know him?" You ask.

"Oh, he's like rhythm and poetry royalty. I've been sending this man emails for months begging him to mentor me... I can't believe Jia- It's so weird, finally seeing the guy who kept rejecting me." He cut himself off towards the end.

He can't believe Jia WHAT? Tell me. PLEASE.

You painstakingly push your annoyance away.

Instead you laugh, "I had no idea he was being pursued by students, wow."

"Yeah..." Jungkook giggled, somewhat embarrassed.

As the evening went on, you talked quite a bit. If he noticed, he didn't mind your awkwardness.

As if you were suddenly remembering something, you hummed. "I take it you didn't tell Jia about the... thing?" You struggled to find the right words to describe it.

Jungkook slowly nodded and repeated, "The... Thing."

"Yeah. You know, about you guys? Dating?" You press your legs together, a little anxious.

"Oh! Right!" He smiled in realization, "I actually did end up telling her about it that same night." He nodded, this time, positively.

You froze and your face dropped.

Had you been drinking something at that moment, you'd have spat that out. If you were eating at that moment, you'd have dropped your utensils on the floor.

"And then we talked about you for a while. I told her you gave me your word. I mean, I'm sure she already told you..." He continued.

Jia. She knows you know.

"Because she panicked..." Jungkook kept talking but at that point you had tuned him out.

Your mouth involuntarily formed a sad pout. Your eyes which were drying out from tiredness, slowly began to fill up with tears of... frustration, and anger, and confusion.

She knew.

She didn't even try to talk to you.

You assumed she was just busy.

But, she was actually just avoiding you. Just as you her.

Your eyes were glazed over.

The humiliation, guilt, anger and paranoia set in all at once.

Does this mean... Jungkook knows? Is he toying with you?

No. That's far-fetched. Way off. He'd never do that. He was so nice to you all night.

But, he IS a nice guy. Why wouldn't he be nice?

You're starting to make less sense now.

You don't even blink because if you do, your tears won't hold themselves back.

Jia fucking knew and avoided you on purpose. She couldn't face you. She fucking betray you, and she couldn't handle it. She didn't want to face it.

Jungkook sensed that there was something on your mind. "_____, is something wrong? Should I not have told her? What's going on?" He asked, his curiosity piqued.

You hesitated for a moment. You weren't used to being impulsive. That was never you. But, lately, that streak was becoming increasingly steady.

So, you decided to open up. Like an idiot.

"It's me."

Jungkook nervously smiled, "It's you?"

"The 'creep' with the schoolgirl crush." You added.

Jungkook's eyes widened in surprise, and he leaned in, his expression a mix of shock and curiosity. "You? But... I don't understand."

He shook his head and stared at you, expecting you to keep going.

Great job, idiot.

You didn't have a choice now.

You took a deep breath and began to explain, "I had a crush on you, Jungkook. I have a crush on you. I've never been silent about it." You winced.

The tears. They're coming.

"I mean, I've never been silent about it with my friends. Including Jia."

The knot forming in your throat felt tighter.

Jungkook listened carefully, trying to make sense of this... revelation. "So, it was all a misunderstanding? There was never a 'creep'?" He reasoned.

You kept your eyes trained down at your lap, more embarrassed than ever. "I... No? I don't know." Your eyes were heavy with tears. Your nose began to sting.

You pressed your lips together to hold all the ugly sobs in, and squeezed your eyes shut.

"_____?" Jungkook questioned worriedly.

You furrowed your brows and frantically shook your head, "Jia. Everyone, my friends, everyone knew about it- that I liked you. From the day we met. The- it was like a mixer?" You slouch and let your arms fall to your sides, "I can't remember. I've liked you for so long..." You trail off silently shedding tears.

You inhale before letting out a little squeaky apology.

Jungkook only looks at you. He doesn't understand, or register anything.

"_____..." Jungkook begins.

"I didn't know Jia was your girlfriend. I'd always talk to her about you, and how good you looked on whatever, whenever- and how you, and then she..." Your shoulders begin to shake towards the end of your sentence. You fully began to cry.

Thank goodness you were separated from the rest of the restaurant-goers.

You were clearly unable to hold a conversation.

You wanted to bang your head on the table. Repeatedly.

Jungkook's brows almost touched his hairline.

"I'M the 'creep' she told you about. I'm the reason for... But I didn't know. I SWEAR. Until you told me. I knew then." You sniffle every two seconds. "I was going to tell you how I felt but then you- I'm sorry!" You finally broke down, sobbing into your hands.

"Hey. Just... breathe, okay?" You felt Jungkook shimmy out of his seat and back away from the table. He then walks over to you.

You already knew tomorrow's _____ was going to kill herself.

Jungkook pours you a glass of water.

He has no idea what to tell you.

He can't find the words to even begin to describe what he's feeling right now.

Jungkook's brain had stopped generating new thoughts. All he's thinking about is the crying girl in front of him, half-heartedly confessing her feelings for him.

Frustrated, he ran his hands through his hair. Then he looked down at you.

You are whom his girlfriend was worried about?

The same girl whom he hadn't stopped thinking about the past weeks.

The same girl who's his girlfriend's friend. His girlfriend.

His girlfriend who lied- hid things from him.

Had you planned this? Was Jia right to hide him away?

Jungkook really doesn't know what to think.

Jungkook needed to leave. He felt suffocated.

"_____, I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I... wish I had known the truth earlier." Jungkook solemnly spoke.

He hoped you believed him. He can't tell if you're in the right frame of mind to talk. He knows he sure isn't.

You sniffle harder, still appreciating his understanding. "I honestly just wanted to clear the air and be honestly honest with you...." You sigh deeply, speaking shakily. "I just thought... Maybe Jia would talk to me herself. And when she didn't--- I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."

Jungkook just stood by you, unmovingly. It was as if he himself was trying to figure out what to say.

After what felt like forever, you hesitantly lift your head up to look at Jungkook, "I understand if you'd want to leave now."

And you meant it. You couldn't force him to watch you cry like an idiot. So, you understandingly told him he had a free will, that he could walk away.

And he really did.

Jungkook stared down at your tear-stained face for a few seconds.

Then without uttering a single word, he slowly blinked at you and walked away.

Now, you stare at the back of his head, wide-eyed.

You didn't expect him to actually leave this instance.

I mean, he didn't owe you anything, but you still felt uneasy.

The rational part of you truly understood his choice. But the emotional part of you was destroyed.

Even though you have no right to feel this way, you're so disappointed. In him. In yourself. In Jia. You think that's well deserved though; your disappointment in Jia.

Did she hate you?

Nothing else mattered.

You don’t know it yet but the biggest burden had just been lifted off your shoulders.

(Until you face Jia. But, more on that later.)

And, as for Jia; Jia had enough time to come clean. This was not on you. It was all her.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Stolen Angel - Part 3

Demon!Jake Seresin x reader

Summary: You thought you were having a one-night stand with some random, normal guy. Turns out he’s a winged, demon-like stalker who has been obsessed with you for years.

Warnings/Notes: Jake is a little dark. Kidnapping. Manipulation. Obsessive behavior. I’m sure there are typos. This used to be a different fic for August Walker, so if you see it, it’s fine. I wrote that one too.

Words: 1426

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

JAKE POV - (One Year Ago)

He can’t stop watching you. Smiling, laughing, serving customers caffeinated beverages on their way to work. The sunlight streams through the front glass window of the cafe, the rays illuminating everything of you that they reach. Your hair, your eyes, your skin. You’re bright, happy, healthy, stunning, and it does unreasonable things to his heart.

He’s been sitting there for two hours now, not even pretending to occupy himself with a magazine or newspaper or anything that will make him less conspicuous. You’re the only thing that has his attention. The only thing that ever has his attention when he comes to this world. He spends this time, each second of it, observing your every move, memorizing every feature of your face, and when you leave for the day, he follows. Just so he can be a little bit closer to you.

You’ve never noticed him, and sometimes he chuckles at your lack of awareness and how well it works in his favor. You have no idea that he trails you from the cafe to your apartment. You have no idea that he stands outside your building as night cloaks the day. You have no idea that he leans against the same lamppost he always does when he comes to see you, his stare latched on to your window—third floor, second from the left—as you strip yourself of your uniform and into your pajamas. He’d watch forever if he could, but he, and those like him, do not have that luxury. 

The hand that lands on Jake’s shoulder is expected and he turns his head to his friend. 

“Time to go,” Javy says. “In a month you can come back and stalk her some more, but we’re cutting it close. We have to get back.”

Jake sighs, giving your bedroom window another glance. The light clicks off. “I know.”

“She’s not going anywhere. I’ve kept an eye on her in your absence and she’s had the same routine for the last six months,” Javy reminds him as he rolls his shoulders, preparing for the weight of his wings to return. 

Cartilage and bone materialize as his gray feathers, one by one, seek him out from the spot he had shed them. Each one returns to their place, layering themselves together until his wings are fully reformed. 

Javy gives them a testing flap, scattering the fallen leaves at their feet. When he sees Jake has yet to call for his own wings, he huffs. “Seriously, it’s eleven fifty-six. Do you really want to spend six months in The Tower because you chose to stare at your little girlfriend rather than be punctual…again? You literally just got out.”

Jake stands from his leaned position and a moment later his black feathers find him. He spreads his wings out in a stretch. 

“I’ll take that as a no,” Javy says with pride. “So let’s go.” Then he’s shooting up into the night, a speck in the darkened sky. 

Jake takes one last look at your window, imagining himself in that apartment, holding you, kissing you, falling asleep beside you. He doesn’t want to leave you behind. Leaving you behind is leaving a part of his heart behind. But he has to do it. For the night, you’re warm and safe tucked in your bed, and that will have to be enough for him until his return next month.

“Good night, Angel,” he mutters. “Sleep well.” Then he follows after his friend.

—

Food everywhere. Grapes smashed in between the stones of the walls; plums dotting the floor, one having rolled under the bed; juice from apple slices staining the rumpled bedsheets; the silver tray, now dented in the middle, thrown across the room. All as if some bratty tornado tore through the place. Except now the brat is missing. 

He’d guessed you would struggle to stay put once you regained enough of your energy, which is exactly why he'd planned to sit by your bed while you slept. But—albeit very reluctantly—he had listened to Javy’s advice about giving you some space for the night. A mistake, clearly, because now he has to hunt his little escapee down.

Shaking his head, Jake rubs the back of his neck and gives the room one last scan in case you got the bright idea to hide until he got close enough for you to whack him in the skull with something hard. When the assault doesn’t come, he jogs to the window and peers through it the way you were when he found you standing there the other day, your pearly wings in all their grandness cascading gracefully from your back. 

Glancing to the nearby field many stories below, he spots you seated in the grass with your knees tucked to your chest. His pounding heart stutters in relief.

How the fuck did you get out, Angel? he thinks as he hurries from the room, down the multiple twisting staircases, and through the maze of halls. You’re the last person who should have the ability to leave this place. New residents of The Tower have been known to roam the halls for months at a time, trying to find a way out until they surrender to exhaustion and return to their rooms, and yet you walked right out the front door?

When he reaches the main floor, he stops short at the silhouetted figure leaning against the doorframe. He knows that figure well, and realizing that someone he trusts has been keeping an eye on you from a reasonable distance permits Jake to take a calming breath before he steps closer. 

“She’s…content, I think,” Javy says, tucking back his large gray wings to provide enough space for Jake to comfortably stand beside him. “Doesn’t seem to want to run off.”

“Only because she doesn’t know where to go,” Jake sighs, running his fingers through his hair. And thank fuck for that. “How long has she been out here?”

“At least since four. That's when I found her,” Javy informs him. He looks at Jake, playfully grinning. “We watched the sunrise together.”

“Has she seen you?”

“No. She hasn’t so much as turned her head in hours,” he answers, then after a pause of consideration, says, “How do you think she managed to make it out on her first try?”

Jake shakes his head. He has that very same question. Anyone would. “I don’t know, but had I known she could, I would have locked the damn door.”

“Maybe The Tower felt bad for her,” Javy suggests. “You know she always made it easy for the unfairly imprisoned.”

Unfairly imprisoned. Yes, Jake supposes that is what you are. But it’s not for forever, and it’s simply to protect you while you adjust to your new life by his side. Surely, you can understand that. And then you can start accepting the happiness and love you’re denying yourself. 

“She fucking scared me,” Jake says, and Javy snickers.

“Then I imagine you're even.”

“She's not scared of me, she just has to get used to me.” Jake watches the gust of air flutter your feathers. You still haven’t moved, save for one hand's fingers which continuously weave through the blades of grass. “She's taking her damn time though.”

“Don't be unfair. She's known you for a couple of weeks—a couple of very difficult weeks—which is nothing compared to the head start you had.” Also true, to Jake’s dislike. But he’s shown you how much he cares, and that should be plenty to help you catch up. Then Javy says, “You should take her back. Just for a few hours.”

Jake’s head snaps to the right, eyes just short of bugging from his head. “Are you insane?”

Javy shrugs. “The day is coming up. It might be easier for her to be here with you if she knows she has the option to visit her world.”   

“That’s not her world anymore.” 

“True,” Javy agrees. “But don't you miss seeing her smile?”

Jake swallows. He’d give anything to see you smile again; smile at him again. Though he was gifted one when he was deep inside of you, praising you, telling you how beautiful you were, offering the same compliment since he brought you here has not elicited the same reaction. If anything, you frown more intensely, with more effort. 

“It's too soon,” Jake says. “She's still attached, and I can't trust her.”

“It's more important that she trusts you,” Javy counters. “And this could be your olive branch, my friend.”

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @penguin876 @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @roosteraloha @b-bradshaw @fandom-life-12 @hookslove1592 @buckysteveloki-me

[cassandracain52]

You made me think about immunocompromised Tim so now you suffer the consequences (my thoughts) :D

Disclaimer: I haven't actually read that particular arc yet - I'll get around to it, I swear! But I do know roughly what happens.

With the whole spleentuation Tim turns the Red Robin costume into what basically amounts to a Hazmat suit. He doesn't actually change much - he goes for full face coverage and introduces some airtight seals. It makes upkeep slightly more laborious and makes him a lot scarier than he wants to be but it's this or risking getting benched for an infection for an unreasonably long time. Bruce returns and doesn't even question the look until he finds older Red Robin costume without the Hazmat qualities and in an attempt of casual bonding asks Tim why he changed it. You can imagine how the rest goes.

Second scenario:

Bruce vanishes before the pandemic, when he returns the family is very careful with like, disinfecting everything and they always have gloves and masks on their person. He writes it off as a side-effect on the pandemic until he realises how much more careful everyone is around Tim

Third scenario:

Tim uses his general lack of an immune system as a way to get out of things he doesn't want to do where there'll be a crowd. Mostly Gala's. Like:

Tim: I'm worried I'll get sick when I go to the opening of the Lexcorps factory we need to make An Appearance at.

Bruce: You went to ComicCon last week, you'll be fine.

Tim: 🥺

And like, what's Bruce going to do? Tim is right he SHOULD be a lot more careful. He SHOULDN'T go to the gala. So he folds like wet paper without fail every time. Tim cuts his public appearances down to an absolute minimum. Jason is seen more often and he's supposed to be dead.

Tims coup de resistance (is that the saying) is getting to attend a business meeting virtually because one of the three (3) people there was travelling two weeks ago

4.

Bruce: Tim you should go to sleep staying up this long is not good for your health your immune system will thank you.

Tim: what immune system.

Bruce: What do you mean what immune system.

Tim *chuckles*: I'm in danger.

Bruce: What do you mean what immune system.

5.

Damian sneezes once and refuses to take off his mask for six days straight on the off-chance he'll get Tim sick. He was literally digging through the dusty attic. He is not sick. Tim isn't even around half the time. You don't need to sleep in the mask Damian. DAMIAN.

”Jason is seen more often and he's supposed to be dead.” <<<asfghjkl XD this is taking me OUT😭 I never really thought of Tim using this as a “get out of jail free” card but he so would. But only for things he doesn’t want to do. That party of maybe 200 guests at most? Nope sorry can’t do it, too risky. That concert with 50,000+ people? Completely fine

All these scenarios were so fun!! I especially appreciated “What do you mean what immune system.” and Tim just immediately starts sweating bullets cause Oh Did He Forget To Mention That?

and Damian would so be super paranoid to accidentally get Tim sick but also would never admit that because Tim Must Never Know He Worries About Him

Damian wearing a full mask, gloves, and maintaining a ten ft distance at all times because Jon (who has seasonal allergies) sneezed kinda close to him: You’re a disgrace to this family Drake. Do us a favor and die

Tim not falling for this for a second: Uh-huh so can I just- [attempts to take approximately One Step Closer]

Damian rapidly scrambling back: nO I HATE YOU STAY AWAY-

Please feel free to share your thoughts again🤣

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

ok wait there is so much you mentioned there that im so interested in i hope you dont mind me doing a little ramble

1. fire poker drama with roman and dot. SO interesting actually, weve seen baby logan and dot talk about the scar but no one elses reactions to it i dont think so thats super cool, im also very interested in roman specifically reacting as opposed to virgil or patton who id imagine would be equally upset about logan being hurt (my first thought was roman having more baggage around someone you think loves you intentionally hurting you but also ill let you keep it secret too pslsjs) and also like. considering the roman/dot dynamic. very interesting good concept

2. logan and the terrible horrible no good very bad week - ALSO very cool this was one of my favourite lines in the original laoft story, i love logan immortality angst so much, especially when the people he loves are still alive (another thing i can imagine slightly fucking with you a little, watching your friend/brother/boyfriend/etc mourning you when you still have your full life ahead but knowing regardless that hes not really being unreasonable)

3. dot + larry realising logan cant lie. i just find all the raising a fae stuff really interesting, kind of like growing up disabled where like. as a parent you have to accept that you fundamentally have to treat your children differently because they have different needs whilst still maintaining the balance of raising them fairly. also the realisation of like "oh yeah one of our kids is a literal whole different species there is absolutely zero guidance on what were meant to do here"

4. virgil asking shelley to marry patton - first of all just very very cute second i think itd be so funny of shelley to know for ages that LMP are about to get proposed to and having to stay quiet about it (im also now wondering about whether you think like logan and roman would tell their own families theyre thinking of proposing thats interesting too)

5. patton and logan discussing roman the day after meeting him. also just a very cute and interesting idea and also i love any LMP as kids content pslsks

ok sorry theres me being autistic about laoft in your inbox ill leave you be now

you are so chill and valid i love this

i was thinking the poker drama would come about earlier in their friendship, before Romans really had time to warm back up to her, so he's especially irate

[stop-talking]

So I guess I should do an intro post / fanfic masterlist

Hi.

• I'm 20 yrs old, she/her, and obsessed with Josh Hutcherson. (Mike & Futturman especially have my heart)

• I'm new to writing, but I read like crazy and spend 90% of my time daydreaming up little stories about my favorite characters. Just using Tumblr as an outlet to get those little stories to the world.

• Feel free to request any fanfic related to a jhutch character. I'm most comfortable writing for Mike, Futturman, and Derek, but I'm willing to try to write for other characters. (Minus Peeta. Thinking about the Hunger Games makes me unreasonably sad & I'm not sure I know his character well enough to do him justice.)

My Works

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

✩ Mike Schmidt:

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (18+)

Exactly what it sounds like. His babysitter goes missing, but he can't leave Abby home alone. Unfortunately, he's broke as fuck, and can't afford to pay someone to watch her. So... he calls you. He'll endure your bitchy attitude and relentless teasing if it means his sister will be safe. Somewhere along the way, endure turns to enjoy.

Fem reader; 10k words (total)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

No Abby, we're not getting ice cream.

Silly little one-off about the average shopping trip for Mike and Abby. He's just trying to get things for dinner, but Abby has other plans. Just Mike being the single mother that he is.

Mike's POV; 1.2k words

Read here

Open wide (18+)

Mike hasn't been to the dentist since he was a kid, but with his new job, and health insurance... he really has no excuse not to. One problem, though. He doesn't remember the experience being so... erotic? Is he insane, or is the attractive, young, dental assistant... hitting on him?

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

Read here

Sleepless Nights

Abby is sure something's up with her brother. He's always been tired, sure, but ever since the events at Freddy's... well, he's gotten a lot worse. The stubborn man won't let her help, so she convinces him she's the one in need of comfort.

Abby's POV; 500 words

Read here

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

✩ Derek Danforth:

So I'm stuck on this shithole island, and I can't even have a smoke? (18+)

You're hired by his mother as a last resort to try and get him sober. Alone with just him for three weeks, your job is to rehabilitate him.

Unfortunately, Derek sees you as his personal chef, maid, and whore. You flat-out refuse at first, but well, after so many days of only interacting with each other... The lines are a little blurred. something-to-lovers. It's complicated.

Fem reader; 22.9k words total (so far)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 (Part 8 coming soon)

Derek sending you nudes while you're at work (blurb) (18+)

Read here

Older; not Wiser (18+)

Derek isn't the type to entertain 20-year-olds. Really, he's not. That is, until one falls right into his lap. Literally.

You're just so sweet and fun, how could he ever dream of saying no when you ask him to show you a good time?

Part 1 (Part 2 coming soon)

fem reader; 2.5k words

✩ Josh Futturman:

Win for me ♡ (18+)

You're tired of your boyfriend paying more attention to his stupid game than you. So, late one night, you take matters into your own hands. Literally. Hopefully his little gaming buddies don't mind hearing him moan into the mic...

Gender-neutral reader; 2.3k words

Read here

✩ Clapton Davis

Saturday School

(Request) "Imagine listening to music with Clapton while in detention... like sharing earbuds with him while y'all sit in silence. Then a cringe song comes on at the wrong time LMAO"

Gender-neutral reader; 2k words

Read here

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

[walkingstackofbooks]

Too many DBIP feelings! #4

Part 1: Richard's insecurity over Julian's enhancements Part 2: Richard's arguing tactics Part 3: Amsha's manipulations Part 5: Their disregard for Julian's wants

Part 4: Their 'apologies'

Both times after they argue, his parents then approach him to apologise/make amends. I've always previously assumed this was abnormal for them due to the situation, but I'm starting to wonder if actually this was quite a regular pattern that Julian grew up with. Both his parents clearly want to see themselves as "good people", and so I can imagine them feeling the need to make these lip-service apologies that --presumably, if he's made these same arguments to them before -- end up meaning very little.

Did he learn as a child that shouting was the only way to get them to listen, if only for a little while? Is he used to apologies lasting only for a short while before his parents return to the status quo?

There are imo a number of factors leading to his unusually impassioned defence of his father in the final scene, but I think this could play into it. Agreeing to go to prison is the kind of apology Richard can't just take back a few days/weeks/months later when he starts to remember how 'unreasonable' Jules was being and wonder why he agreed to it when he was in the right. I can imagine one of Julian's first thoughts being "what happens when he changes his mind?"

(Also, it has to be mentioned how shit an apology the first one was. "It's a stressful time for all of us and maybe I said some things I shouldn't have." MAYBE?? Fuck you. Really.)

[Heading towards headcanon territory: Amsha's behaviour, as previously discussed, is another reason why I wouldn't be surprised if the argument-apology model was frequent, because whether or not she's consciously aware of her manipulation, it's an excellent way to control Julian's feelings. It gives her the power of being the mediator; it puts Julian in the position of either accepting it and showing forgiveness, or sounding unreasonable. We never see his actual reaction to their 'apology', but we know they don't think there's anything too unusual about the hologram simply standing there - and Amsha feels quite at ease to reward her unresponsive 'son' with a kiss. Idk, but it seems like they expect Julian to reluctantly accept their apology, and even if he doesn't, they're now in position to absolve themselves of any reponsibility because 'at least we tried'.]

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

I saw someone else do this and it seemed helpful so here goes

Things That I Don't Think Neurotypical People Do But I Don't Know If They're Autism

autistic people your input would be very appreciated but no pressure of course

Crying and feeling like I need to throw up when loads of people are screaming around me

Constantly being told I'm "making a face" when I'm just existing

Spending most of my waking hours thinking about 1 specific show (The Owl House)

Needing to think about and imagine scenarios for said show to relax and fall asleep

Unbalanced noise??(like that thing when audio only plays through one earphone) makes me feel liek there are bugs crawling all over me

I want to flip tables and scream and cry when I have to hear people chewing (school cafeterias are hell)

Menus and the possibility of there not being something I'll eat on the menu stress me out to an unreasonable extent (idk this might just be a socially awkward thing)

I mirror people ig?? I think everyone kinda does thta though right??

Flappy hands and jumping around to get out excited/happy energy

Rehearsing scripts for social situations

I hate 3/4 length leggings, like I need to wear really long socks and pull them up if I have to wear them (the temperature difference becomes really distracting and I can't think at all)

Was bullied for being "weird" for like 4 years (I don't think this is that relevant but have been told it might be)

Need to be leaning against or touching the wall in some way when I'm walking in corridors (I end up stumbling or banging into people if I don't)

Bright lights >:[

When someone says something so blatantly incorrect and just fucking lacking any human compassion with so much condescension I get so fuckinv angry I'm still upset abt it days later

An inconclusive list but this is all I can think of right now

Big dessert spoons feel too big in my mouth hate hate hate hate them D:<

My dog went to a groomers and stopped smelling if Dog and started smelling like puppy shampoo and it threw me off for weeks

[nanowrimo]

The Art of the Pitch

When submitting your manuscript to an agent, your pitch letter is the first thing they read. But with hundreds of emails pouring into agents’ inboxes every day, how do you get yours to stand out? Author Jeff Herman has some tips:

On any given day, there’s a massive surplus of desperate manuscripts clamoring to fill way too few opportunities. It resembles hordes of famished zombies ripping at the walls and doors where a remnant of agents and editors have found sanctuary. This helps explain why the barriers to your success seem to be unreasonably extreme, not to mention insensitive and discourteous. The harsh process is a form of self-preservation for the gatekeepers. However, access is possible; sometimes you just have to reframe what you’re seeing.

Countless manuscripts that merit publication will spend eternity in the clouds because the authors failed to get agents and editors to read them. From the perspective of the gatekeepers, unsolicited manuscripts are a burden until proven otherwise; they’re an ever-accumulating digital landfill that’s humanly impossible to process and cope with, or even think about. But it’s within every writer’s power to change the math for themselves. 

The following guidance doesn’t promise to be the cure, but it does promise to meaningfully elevate the odds that your manuscript will be requested and read. My advice is the consequence of reading more than one-million pitches covering everything you can imagine.

1. Don’t be boring. Boredom causes attention to shut down. The letter should be as entertaining, compelling, and alluring as the body of work you want to read. Too many writers treat their pitch letters like job applications; imagine having to read hundreds of those a day.  

2. Don’t waste space. Avoid filler. Keep to a single page with short paragraphs (eyes detest densely packed sections). 

3. Use lively and relatable descriptions. Make descriptive lines count with language that transmits visceral and dynamic images. Imagine movie trailers.

4. Get to the point by the second line. Don’t wander into the weeds or try to be a pen pal. 

5. Say exciting things about yourself. For example, “I’m a third-generation serial killer.” Or, “I’m a former President of the United States.” (However, only share things that are true!)

6. Don’t compare your work to bestsellers. It might make you appear arrogant or grandiose. Do a little research to find the titles that best match your work. 

7. Don’t reveal how many years you’ve been trying to get someone to read your pitch, let alone your work. Don’t reveal how many thousands of times you’ve been rejected so far. Don’t expect strangers to care about your aspirations from the goodness of their hearts.  

8. Be softly immodest. Show you're a winner in ways that say it for you. Highlight your accomplishments, don’t hide them. Success tends to gravitate to people who know how to personify a successful image. 

9. Don’t stereotype yourself in ways that could undermine your chances. For instance, there’s no reason to say your age unless it’s germane to the book. (Ageism is frequently an elephant in the room, and unfortunately, publishing isn’t an exception.)

10. Keep trying. Consistently showing up and doing the work regardless of how you feel will get you far. Writing and publishing is a game of long ball that rewards tenacity and resilience. 

Jeff Herman is the author of Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors & Literary Agents, 29th Edition and coauthor of the acclaimed Write the Perfect Proposal. He has presented hundreds of workshops about writing and publishing and has been interviewed for dozens of publications and programs. His literary agency has ushered nearly 1,000 books into publication, including many bestsellers. He lives in Stockbridge, MA. His website is www.JeffHerman.com.

Based on the book Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors & Literary Agents, 29th Edition. Copyright ©2023 by Jeff Herman. Published by New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

Top photo by Andrew Dunstan on Unsplash.

[goodluckclove]

WIP Tag Game!

Whoa tagged again by the brilliant @ivaspinoza! Check her out if you're down for what I imagine to be some intense bloodsucking existentialism!

I'll do this for all of Songbird Elegies as a whole. I'm on book two right now - Blind Trust comes out June 20th!

Read below to hear some things about the origins of the series that I haven't actually said yet and probably won't say again.

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Funny story! I hadn't written anything tangible for months since leaving my terrible copyrighting job. I was absolutely miserable. I ended up leaving my second job because of a medication problem and spent a week in bed detoxing off of Seroquel withdrawal - bad bad don't do that if you can help it. After that I fell into recovery and just had no idea what to do with my days.

The turning point was when I sent an email going fully no-contact with my across-the-board abusive parents. They did some awful things across the course of my life and I'm still spending a good chunk of time making up for their ridiculous medical neglect. I might need throat surgery because of them. Not great! But anyways, I sent that email and wrote the first 15 pages of Blind Trust later that day, sitting on the floor while my wife took a nap on the couch. It just came out. Wife said they liked it so I just kept going.

Three months and two data losses later and the first draft was done!

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I have so many Songbird Elegy playlists oh my God. It's hard to say, and the answer will change, but right now it's "Love Me, Normally" by Will Wood.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

They're all very important to me for different reasons. Scott is the one I tend to talk about the most because he captures a lot of mania and upbeat romanticism, qualities of myself that I value despite the obvious faults. Edgar is just as important, but they represent a lot of my current struggles and I'm doing a lot of healing and processing through them which is good but less - you know - fun?

Tenzin reminds me of my wife with her quiet stoicism. Katy reminds me of my older sister and everything she sacrificed to keep me and my siblings alive. She's more of a mother to me than my own mother. My sister is actually the first person to finish Blind Trust after I finished it.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Disco Elysium maybe? Griffin and Sabine - has anyone else read that? The Witcher, but specifically the novels? Requiem for a Dream for later books. Tales of the City in terms of tone and character focus. Fleet Foxes and Hoizer and early Decemberists?

Good, warm soup. If you like a bowl of good, warm soup, you will enjoy Songbird Elegies.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Definitely Edgar's arc. Their experience with their metaphorical (or are they??) inner child and the abuse they've been working to escape and recover from has been hard to look at directly. Especially once I introduced Scott's mother, who's turned into a weird mix of the maternal figure I wish I had and the one I feel I could've been if I chose that path.

Yesterday I found myself writing how I wish it went when my wife met my parents, through Scott and Edgar meeting Scott's mom. The sharing of parental pride and affection despite potential embarrassment. It's a cute scene, but there's a lot of grief in there for me. I wonder if it'll show.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Wilford Brimley is Katy's pet Persian cat. He is old and weird and a little fucked up. I had to edit his introduction in Blind Trust because it was six (small) paragraphs and Wife told me that was unreasonable (skill issue), but I can include some canon info:

He shoves his paw under the bathroom door while people are in the bathroom

He likes feet

Edgar sometimes shares little bits of cheese with him

Once he fell asleep in Edgar's lap but then peed in his lap and just kept sleeping in the piss

Edgar treat him like a weird cousin he has to make conversation with during holidays

Wilford thinks he's his brother and an equally fucked up cat

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Cars mostly! Edgar has a shitty used car that's always close to breaking down. Katy has a newer car that's still used, but she takes very good care of it - I think it's a Fiat. I think Tenzin probably uses the car Scott's Dad left behind after he died, which is a vintage Cadillac convertible that Scott's Mom fixed up.

Scott is the only one without a license since he essentially has a magical dissociative disorder and hasn't yet felt safe behind the wheel. In Blind Trust he's taken every form of public transit to cross the country. I think when he was younger he used to skateboard to get around Bluerose.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I'm close to 40k into book two!

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

I have hopes that people will enjoy the tenderness of it. I'm like a reverse-whump ace writer, in that I've written a series that's aggressively pro-comfort and recovery. People start off in pretty sorry states and then make the difficult effort to put themselves and each other back together.

There's explicit ace representation in Scott and aroace rep in Katy (she doesn't know it yet though shhh). Edgar comes out as Agender and changes pronouns midway into the series, but still keeps presenting as androgynous/masc leaning. There's diversity in body types and gender identities in a way that feels warranted to me - Scott has Klinefelter's and grew up taking T, and he made a best friend that came out so she could take her E with him. Same goes with disabilities in prominent characters, though the main four focus on what I have personal experience in.

As a disabled queer writer I hope to make a series that tells a fantastical story about people like me that doesn't pander specifically to my market.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I hope people read it. I hope they like it. It'd be cool if I could talk to people about it. I've been pretty deep in the Songbird Elegy fandom for some time now haha.

On a more serious note I hope there's a market for non-sexualized romances that are still hyper intimate. I know I'm into it but I'm still not sure if other people are. I'd like to create more media about positive and fulfilling ace relationships, both romantic and platonic. I'm tired of people seeing that type of life as a loss. Any healthy companionship is not a loss.

I want people to read Songbird Elegies and think about the love in their lives and in themselves. All of it, in every way. Yeah.

I tag @ryns-ramblings! I wanna hear about your thing!

[bluevelvet-room]

PERSONA 3 RELOAD TRAILER SPOILERS AHEAD

as promised, i am typing up my thoughts about reload with in depth discussion on the 2 most recent trailers. i'll put that in a read more - but before that, a disclaimer: first of all, these are my own thoughts and opinions and i will not be debating anyone about anything subjective i say. second of all, i'm only discussing the most recent 2 trailers because the other ones make me unreasonably angry so i might be missing stuff. anyways.

as a persona 3 fan, i havent necessarily been excited about reload for so many reasons i wont really be going into, but these new trailers have given me some amount of hope, and i will just be mostly ignoring the glaring issues.

some things almost definitely confirmed by the two most recent trailers as well as the demo they had at the sega event the other day:

3 physical attack types confirmed to still be in the game. this is a good thing

kouha and eiha have been added to the light and dark skill set, but no evidence of nuke or psy. this is an okay thing (im glad no nuke or psy - they have no real place in the game. but i dont necessarily think that ken and koro needed to deal damage because theyre both op as shit anyways if you build them right) (this might need fact checking, but i saw several people saying it, so)

despite prior claims, there is in fact fes content in reload. "the answer" may not be in it, but there IS fes content. so it's less original persona 3 as claimed and more the journey without the answer, fes edition. we know this for certain because a fes/portable exclusive scene is shown in the character trailer (mitsuru calling the cops because she thinks junpei's room has been burgled, as seen in the hidden cameras, an fes/portable exclusive feature)

new outfits that have been affectionately dubbed "tacticool" by my brother, and i will be using that phrasing to refer to it from now on. tacticool outfits are not an immediate addition - the old armbands do exist in the game for some amount of time. from trailer analysis, i've concluded that SEES switches to the tacticool outfits after fuuka joins but before aigis does, presumably at the same meeting where fuuka is asked to join. tacticool outfits standardly include the new armband, which is uniquely numbered to each character - minato is 3, and i've been able to catch junpei's number as 5. if anyone can figure out the other numbers, let me know i'm so curious. they also include a new coat and 3 magazine clips, which (speculatively) probably mean an evoker upgrade at the same time, possibly to be able to shoot shadows - though i'm not sure how well this would work as bullets would be pierce damage and almost entirely defeat the point of ever using aigis

we got clips of the additional male teammate "scenes", which i'm very excited about. it's confirmed they wont be social links, but they will have moments with minato, which is all i've ever wanted.

the demo apparently includes a version of baton pass, which is. fine. sure. i can deal with that

new ost/battle music which i am withholding judgment on until i can hear the full thing

dlc outfits - p4 uniform, p5 uniform, and phantom thieves outfits which look ugly as hell on the persona 3 characters and do not match the vibes at all thanks atlus. why does junpei still wear his hat

when a battle ends with an all out attack, the initiating character gets an end screen like in persona 5. we've only seen minato's thus far, though

TACTICOOL OUTFITS - IN DEPTH

now imagine if you will that i spent like an hour watching a two minute trailer because i care about these outfits so hard so i am going to describe my thoughts about them in so much detail

as i said earlier i think these come hand in hand with some sort of evoker mechanic upgrade/change, and theyre only introduced after fuuka

if i had to guess, the armbands are numbered with mitsuru as 1, akihiko 2, minato 3, yukari 4, junpei 5, and so on

they all have SHEATHES for their weapons which is sick as hell as well as everyone wearing some form of glove which is also sick as hell!!!

mitsuru has a cape. this is the most amazing thing that could have ever happened ever, and i support her in her cape endeavors

fuuka has a tactical poncho and headset (probably to make it more clear how she's speaking to everyone), but no clear evidence of having an armband. if she did have one, i'm pretty sure it'd be covered up by her poncho, so ??? but it's it's possible that only the fighting members of SEES get the new armband

ken with the oversized coat is so sick. i cannot even begin to stress how cool i think this 10 year old is. atlus was like would you like the world's sickest 10 year old with a sick ass coat and im EATING IT UP

if i think of more things i will reblog this post or make a new post idk i just needed to get the Melting Brain out. i hope everyone enjoys these ramblings and gains something out of it

[zero-ek]

GUYS GUYS GUYS AZKI SOLOLIVE AZKI SOLOLIVE LOOK AT THIS BEAN!!!!!!!!

YES I'M A WEEK LATE DO NOT JUDGE ME.

I am UNREASONABLY excited for this one, being that its:

• Her first solo live in 3 years

• Her first solo live in an actual venue in like 5 years by this point (not counting Holofes and the SorAZ one)

• Her biggest venue yet (i think it's like 1200 seated and 2000 standing!!!)

• Her first ever concert with an actual band like holy shoot!!!!!!

Everything about this is just so dang special on a very personal level, like, i think i mentioned this before but AZKi is someone who really belongs in the stage, like even putting her incredible singing aside, just the way that she carries herself so naturally and confidently, i'd say that she is the most comfortable i've seen a Vsinger be in the stage, whether she's alone or sharing it with someone else, and regardless of it being virtual, on a small club or even at the massive arenas of the Holofes.

Plus, and i realized i talked about this before, but it's incredibly endearing how much it shows that she adores being on stage too, like with how she always talks so dearly about her performances on the recap streams, or how she would always mention here and there wanting to go back to venues so bad for the past two years. Again, i know that there was the SorAZ live earlier this year and i was happy for that, but to not only see her standing on her own once again, but being able to do it on such a big venue, with an in-house band is just so incredibly fulfilling.

We can kind of already guess how it'll probably look like, given that her friend and fellow Victor Entertainment Vsinger MaiR also held her major debut live at the same venue, also with a live band:

But i'm still very interested to see how AZKi's songs translate into a live band. I'm assuming it's gonna be a standard 4-piece, so i'm looking forward to see if the setlist will be built around it with her more standard rock and ballad songs, or (and what i'm looking forward the most if it happens) if and how they'll arrange her more synth-y songs like "Intersection", "Time Capsule" or "Take me to Heaven"

(I'm also hoping that they do our lord and saviour Wataru Sena's godly drumwork justice but seeing how it's gonna be two performances i'm keeping my expectations reasonable)

I know this is dreaming way too big but can you imagine if she one day gets to have like a full on string section? Heck even just like a cello-violin combo would go so hard, as displayed by Ojou and HACHI. Like imagine "petal dance" or "Afterglow" or "Unmei no Arika" or "End Roll..." with live strings it would be so freaking insane, i don't know if any other holomems have done it before or if it's even feasible but hey i can dream at least.

Also also, the title of the live is "Kowairo Enthropy", "Kowairo'' (声色) means "impersonation", but the title writes it as 声音 "Seion", meaning "tone of voice". I've been really intrigued by this choice and i'm wondering if it's just a fancy title or if it's like a theme that she'll go into.

And of course, the second big news is her 3rd/Major 1st album!

(Artificially upscaled)

I wanna save any opinions on it until at the very least the XFD comes out, however, if i read the description right, it means that we're getting Inochi 2024 and another Wataru Sena song, which i cannot deny myself the excitement of, that man does not miss!

Akki is also set to have a song, they've done songs for other singers that i know and i've generally enjoyed their work, so i also have good expectations for what they might cook up. Hige Driver is returning from the SorAZ album, so i'm expecting at least 1 idol-ish song.

I don't really have much to say just yet given that i don't know or at least don't recognize any of the other composers, but if she handpicked them herself i have good reason to trust her sense, seeing that the post-INNK-pre-Victor songs (the "Pages" EP and "Ginga to Kairo") were very good. Going by the title and art i do trust, or at least hope that the songs will be made to her standards and direction, like her other friend and fellow Victor Entertainment Vsinger Asano Ruri's major 1st album was.

(Also hoping that she was allowed to do lyrics or some co-composing on any of these songs, pretty much any song that she's had writing credits on is a favorite of mine, let her cook!).

Also also, her birthday is coming up! These announcements actually caught me by surprise since i was expecting her to announce them on a 3D live, but i am aware that it's more standard for major musicians to leave like 2 or 3 months between announcement and event. So i'm like 80% certain that the big thing for this birthday will be the key visual for the sololive, since it's the only thing not revealed yet, but also, i'm secretly hoping to see either a new outfit or a remastered 1st model, as i said in my last AZKi post, not only it means a lot to me personally, but it's been getting a revival in popularity and it'd be the perfect time to bring it back.

I seriously cannot wait for the sololive and i sincerely hope she sells the absolute heck out of that venue because she absolutely deserves it!!!!

[something-about-sunflowers]

Alright, this might be a long post so, fair warning lmao.

I realize my previous post may sound like I’m doing some deep dive conspiracy exposé or something, just getting out ahead of it: this isn’t that. This is mostly speculation and educated guesses. For the sake of clarity, this is just how I am reading the situation and may not, in fact, reflect what is actually happening (Even though, I’m pretty positive it is).

Disclaimer aside, I’m gonna get into why (I think) Izzy and the real living human beings who are fans of Izzy are getting so much aggressive hate. And why there’s so much inflammatory discourse around the character.

The gist of it is:

1. Its Ship War Bull Shit

2. The Entitlement

3. Silencing And Scare Tactics

4. We’re Not Falling For It

5. As Good Of A Solution As We’re Gonna Get (At Least Until Something Big Changes In Fan Culture As We Know It)

Now, actually Getting Into All That:

1. Its Ship War Bull Shit

Exactly what it says on the tin. I’m not saying and I don’t want to imply that everybody with their own preferred non-Izzy ships are the ones encouraging and participating in this behavior. What I am saying is that a non-zero number of, particularly Blackbonnet/Gentlebeard, shippers (though this isn’t unique to them) don’t like seeing other people ship Izzy with one (or more) of the characters in their ship. The same could be said for other fan favorites/popular ships as well. Jim, Lucius, Frenchie, etc. There is almost always another popular ship that the other party is involved in.

Though this does go beyond shipping as well. The way I see it, even people who don’t have ‘overlapping’ ships (or who don’t have ships at all and simply like Izzy on his own merit) are a target because of association with other fans who do. Whether that is actual interactions with said other fans or only imagined by way of them both being fans of Izzy.

This idea of a zero-sum game where, if people ship Blackhands that means there’s less people who ship Blackbonnet/Gentlebeard! (Or Ouizzy vs Room People, or Sprizzy vs Lucius’ polycule, or Jim/Izzy vs Tealoranges) is a false one. Multi shippers exist. Some people are more than capable of shipping two overlapping pairings with no problems. Sometimes people just don’t ship your ship. Its unreasonable to be mad at a Tealoranges shipper for not shipping Blackbonnet/Gentlebeard, so should it be unreasonable to be mad at a Blackhands/Gentlehands/Ouizzy/Sprizzy/etc shipper for not shipping your preferred ship.

Which brings me to my next point, being:

2. The Entitlement

Hi. I’m someone who is very particular in my ships. I have a handful that I like and I don’t particularly like to see ones that I don’t like, especially if they involve a character I ship with someone else. The difference between me and The Problem is that I am fully aware that my fandom experience is my own responsibility. If I don’t like something, its on me to remove myself from situations where I might encounter said thing. I don’t go into tags for ships I don’t like. I don’t go into tags for characters I don’t like. If I read a fic that deals with topics or ships that I don’t like I simply back out and move on with my day (provided the fic was properly tagged, please make sure you’re tagging your fics properly).

The Problem comes when people don’t take responsibility for their own fandom experience and expect everyone else to cater to their tastes. You are not entitled to other people’s: time, energy, enjoyment. If you are not paying someone, they don’t owe you anything.

I understand it can be frustrating when it seems like there’s not enough content for something you enjoy but there’s an apparent abundance of content for something you don’t but the only person who’s problem that is? Is you. Be the change you want to see in the world. If you think there’s a lack of content for your preferred thing? Go make content for that thing. If you don’t think you have the talent to make content for the thing? Do it anyway. Talent is not inherent and practice doesn’t make perfect but it does make improvements and for every imperfect thing you do make you’re increasing the amount of the thing you like. If you’re not inclined to make then consider commissioning someone. If you can’t be bothered to do either though? You’re not allowed to complain about a lack of content because you are part of the problem.

The entitlement doesn’t do you any favors either. When I joined this fandom I was over the moon for Blackbonnet/Gentlebeard. Now? I only read it if its written by a small handful of people because I don’t/can’t trust that anyone outside of those people aren’t going to be Weird About Izzy (and unnecessarily aggro at me about it). I don’t engage with the content for it anymore because The Problem has made it unsafe to do so. I have no intentions of making any sort of content for it now either. I do not cater to bullies and, for my own sake, I don’t care if ‘innocent’ people get caught in the crossfire. They are missing out on content because of people they are either passively allowing to remain in their spaces or actively encouraging. I am not the only one who has adopted this policy in light of The Problem.

Again, you are not entitled to other people’s: time, energy, enjoyment. If you make your spaces inhospitable for them, they are well within their rights to remove themselves from said spaces and blacklist the community from their own spaces.

Speaking of inhospitality:

3. Silencing And Scare Tactics

This is where the issue really lies. Fueled by The Entitlement, The Problem decides the best way to avoid/discourage content they don’t like is to make it seem like said content causes harm. Basically: ‘Its Problematic!’

This is where the ‘Izzy is racist/homophobic/a colonizer/etc comes from. It doesn’t matter what the canon says. It doesn’t matter if its interpretation or bad faith or anything else. ‘Izzy is a bigot’ is by and large, true or not, a silencing tactic to scare people into complying with the demands of The Problem. Its why ‘and that makes you an apologist/part of the problem’ always follows. Regardless of whether or not the person being told this is a part of any of the groups Izzy has allegedly wronged (for the sake of being part of those groups).

Its why several BIPOC have been accused of racism for being fans of Izzy. Why abuse survivors have been called abuse apologists for liking him.

The average person, when interacting with the fandom, will hear the loudest voices yelling ‘Izzy is problematic and so are you if you like him’ and avoid the topic for fear of coming across as problematic themselves. They won’t bother looking into the accusations because there is a risk in digging deeper and moreso of speaking out. ‘Its Problematic’ is a shield to hide the abuse being thrown at people who would really rather just be minding their own business.

Which isn’t to say its bulletproof, since:

4. We’re Not Falling For It

Which means that we’re being, perhaps not just as loud but, as loud as we can be about it all being Bull Shit. To some this might come across as apologia and ignoring the actual wrongs the character has done, its not. What it is is disputing false accusations towards the character and towards ourselves. Its quoting Word Of God and citing canon and saying ‘hey, this interpretation doesn’t really match up with the themes of the show’. Its poking holes.

Which The Problem doesn’t like.

Which leads to doubling down on accusations towards the fans. ‘Racist/abuse apologist/etc’. Over a fictional character. This isn’t to say that no Izzy fan is (consciously or unconsciously) racist, though the same could be said for fans of any character, just that its not because of association with the character. Personally, I think there is more issue with removing the agency from a BIPOC character and making all their faults be the fault of their white henchman (and all their virtues being attributed to the influence of their white boyfriend), but that’s just me.

What it also leads to is death threats and suicide bait. Which, I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a much worse offense than ‘liking the wrong fictional character’.

The excessive vitriol (the anon hate, the doxxing, the death threats, the outlandish accusations) comes from the fact that we’re doing our damnedest to show that The Problem is an actual problem and they don’t like having the spotlight shining on their bad side.

Which leads me to my last point:

5. As Good Of A Solution As We’re Gonna Get (At Least Until Something Big Changes In Fan Culture As We Know It)

The best thing we can do, until something big changes, is to remove the spotlight entirely. Deplatform the worst of them as we’re able to, which means not debating and not correcting (This’ll be especially difficult for me, I like to argue lol. Though, if you’re like me, you could also make a separate post disputing the argument after you’ve blocked the original poster. Just make sure you don’t mention their name/@ when you do, otherwise you’re just giving them back their platform by giving people access to them again.), and block liberally.

Blocking is a solution to two problems: 1. It avoids the possibility of seeing bad faith takes that you might want to argue with, and 2. It keeps The Problem from having access to you. It also provides you with a way to report The Problem if they do that fun thing they like to do and go around blocks to get to you anyway.

I know I’m probably not saying anything we didn’t already know, but I think its a good thing to remind people (and myself) of sometimes. We’re not The Problem, we deserve to have a space where we can enjoy ourselves in the fandom without harassment, and we have at least some level of ability to make that possible. This is hardly the first or only fandom to be experiencing this sort of issue, but given its the fandom we’re in right now, we gotta do what we can to make sure its a safe one (Which means, anybody who isn’t experiencing this, but who isn’t speaking out about it? Maybe start doing that. Its not just us that need your help, its fandom as a whole. Many voices make changes.).

[something-tofightfor]

15 Questions

Thank you for tagging me last week - @grogusmum @quica-quica-quica @oonajaeadira and @miss-mandalorian - im sorry it took 8 years for me to respond! 

1. are you named after anyone?

I am not. My mom always told me that after 26 hours of back labor she didn’t care what my name was, and so she didn’t even spell it the correct way because she wrote really fast. I get called by my middle name a lot more than my first by my family anyway. 

2. when was the last time you cried?

About 20 minutes ago. (Have TLOU playing in the background) But the last time I actually cried for a reason that wasn’t media-related was on my birthday because I did my yearly tradition of listening to my voicemails from my dad. 

3. do you have kids?

I do not and never will. I am perfectly happy without them. 

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sure do. If I’m not being sarcastic, you know there’s something wrong.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

Posture. And I tend to look at people’s hands - don’t know why, it’s just always something that I’ve done.

6. what’s your eye color?

Blue! But they’re sort of a gray blue. 

7. scary movies or happy endings?

I haven’t ever seen a movie or show that has truly scared me - I wish I could find one. I *do* like happy endings, but know that they’re very unrealistic in a lot of scenarios - even though they’re fun to imagine. 

8. any special talents?

I am UNREASONABLY good at word puzzles and trivia games - Family Feud, Wheel of Fortune, Lingo, Jeopardy, bar trivia ... I retain ridiculously unnecessary amounts of general knowledge and pop culture trivia, and it’s always a shock to people.  

9. where were you born?

A hospital about 10 minutes from where I currently live. 

10: what are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, singing along to music loudly and off-key. Gardening. Live music. 

11. have you any pets?

A half Maine Coon / half Siamese cat named Neptune that is the literal light of my life, and a tabby cat named Beckett that lives with my sister because my dad stole her. 

12: what sports do you play/have you played?

The closest thing to a sport that I participate in is skiing. 

13: how tall are you?

5’6”

14. favorite subject in school?

I loved all of my writing courses. My senior year, I had four of them, two study halls, two art classes and both early dismissal and late arrival. I’d literally go to school, write and fuck around in the art room for 5.5 hours a day and then go home. It was great. 

15. dream job?

Someone needs to pay me to travel around and try new foods And if that isn’t going to happen, I would love to work on the continuity department for moves and TV ... because the amount of inconsistencies I’ve caught watching the shows and movies I love is staggering and I KNOW I could do better since I am obsessed with details. 

If you want to play, please feel free! So many people have already been tagged, I’m not sure who is left. 

[pumpkinnning]

For the Weird Questions for Writers, could you answer those please:

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

Thank you !

Hi thank you for asking <3

4. So because I am a basic bitch I would say "blush" and "laugh" because I use them all the time it's unreasonable !!!! Writing about grown men but they keep turning into giggly debutantes around each other it's terrible !!!! Also I have been going overboard with the fire metaphors recently. Everything's all incandescent and red hot and smoldering and shit. Cheesy but whatever it's my fic I am being as self indulgent as I want !!!!!

27. For Sanctuary it was definitely Seb. I mean there's basically two characters in this fic so far 😂 I find it a lot more easy and instinctive to write Charles especially since we're in his head. This Seb is a lot more remote and mysterious even to me, and he's quite different and more closed off than actual Seb, so I was worried it would end up being out of character. And in general Seb seems like such a fascinating multifaceted guy, I imagine it's easy to write him as too one note or not get his weird humor right 😂😂 I do like what I came up with but I'm still not sure I got it right. But whatever it's all made up anyway

31. Dear readers I love you 💛💛💛💛💛 no but it's still so surreal to me that people want to read what I write and get invested, and leave me such lovely comments. And also it's just so interesting to read which parts of the story people respond especially well to, or how they understand it - I wouldn't say it has made me change the story but I think it helped me make it better, give more weight to certain things, go deeper into some stuff. Some of them were really clever honestly it made me understand my own story better.

And when people get enthusiastic it gives me so much energy. (I have adhd so I'm hardwired to thrive on positive reinforcement lmfao). Honestly I think I would struggle to write at this point without that. Like sure it's important as a writer to love what you do for it's own sake but ngl after 100k the validation really makes the difference 😂 I also LOVE it when people tell me shit like "I'm reading this with a cup of tea after a hard day at work." Like this is my silly little hobby but it's also a little part of other people's lives for a moment that's so cool ! It brings me so much personally in terms of practicing my writing and having fun and like processing my issues or whatever and none of that would have as much staying power without readers. So thank you 💛

[thehashivetmom]

The Vet Tech Tales - Part 1

I was a vet tech for close to 15 years. I've worked at 5 different animal hospitals with about 20 different doctors, and I can firmly tell you, it's not what you think...

Let me start by saying every veterinarian is VERY different and the medical field is always growing, changing and advancing. In some practices, the doctors are very hands on and in others, the techs do almost everything you think the Dr is doing. The 3 things vet techs are legally not allowed to do are diagnose, prescribe and perform surgery. That's it. Everything else, we do. And in some cases, we "strongly encourage" the diagnosis and / or prescription for a patient. We also assist in surgeries and perform solo dentals, clip and cleans, sedated grooms, sedated radiographs and many other "not surgery" surgical procedures. We don't cut during surgery, but we scrub in and hold, twist, turn, wipe and move. (I'll let your imagination run with that, because whatever version your mind comes up with, the answer is yes).

I have loved this job and hated this job. It is very stressful and very rewarding, but at the end of the day, like most jobs, we are underpaid, over worked and unappreciated. The most common misconception about being a vet tech is that we "play with puppies and kittens all day". The 3-4 times a week that we actually get to see a puppy or kitten is pure joy. Animals like their home, their "safe space", their comfort zone. So taking them to a weird place, with crazy smells and unfamiliar people, with the expectation of them just being ok with a stranger, touching them all over and doing things to them that they are not use to, is insane. About 75% of them go into fight or flight mode. Especially the poor babies that are there because of a wound, illness or some kind of trauma. On top of all these crazy things happening that they don't understand, they are also in pain. This field is not for the faint of heart... in fact you have to have an unreasonable balance of stone cold unattachment and an overwhelming amount of love.

The techs, like the doctors, also vary in their work tactics. I did this for a long time, its literally the only thing on my resume. Yes, I obviously needed the paycheck, but I always knew I wanted to work with animals. I wanted to save them, help them, love them. I wanted to feel accomplished and like I was good at something. So I worked my ass off, I learned everything I could learn and all the different ways to do it. I was good at my job. But, the burn out is real. And it's not being burnt out with the animals. Yes, I got bit, scratched, bruised, hissed and growled at, but I never let that hurt my feelings... it's a natural response, or it's a reflection of poor ownership. (That's a whole other topic). I loved helping animals, I am good at helping animals. It's everything else that I grew to hate. The politics, the pay, the unreasonable hours, the unbelievable expectations, poor management, favoritism... basically the people. As previously stated, I wanted to work with animals, not people. I made some lifelong friends, but I made more toxic relationships. I'm honestly not a people person to begin with, I'm not great with authority and I have been known to hold a grudge. I'm not perfect. But the thing with this job, is that you are not allowed to have a life, outside of work. I have 2 kids under the age of 13, I have 2 step daughters in their mid-twenties, a grandbaby and another on the way. I'm also engaged to a wonderful man that works hard and plays harder. I have a life. But you are expected to work 10-12 hour days and weekends, I get it, I signed up for that. My daughter also gets sick a lot. My kids dad is not in the picture and with my fiancé being the main bread winner in our house, it makes sense for me to stay home with her when she's ill. I came to work with pink eye, the flu, covid (yes, I was asked to come in with covid), migraines, sinus infections, stomach bugs, I came in on my days off, I worked late and I took work home with me. But when my 7 year old is sick, I'm staying home with her. I brought her to work with me a few times, but then I was told I couldn't do that any more because she may be contagious. Last time I checked, pink eye and covid are also contagious. The shit that I caught, for having to be a mom, was unthinkable. Of course from the people who do not have kids, I got comments like "Did you enjoy your day off?" "Must be nice to sit at home all day." and eventually "If you miss another day of work within the next 6 months we are going to have to let you go." That's when I quit my last job and never looked back.