#then its the ear hair which i can never quite place right

[eatmyass-x]

“So strong, so righteous. But how long will you resist?” She drags a sharp-nailed finger down the side of his face, her bangles jangling as she goes. “How long can you resist?” She moves even closer, so close that he can feel the heat from her scantily clad body through his own robes. “You are just a man after all.”

No matter how much he tries, Lan Wangji cannot move. The swarm of women is closing in around him. Their movements are strange and unearthly, too quick for the eye to follow and yet slow and treacly. Not quite a dance but he knows no other words that could describe the way in which they swirl and titter around him.

A hand trails down his chest. Lan Wangji grits his teeth and looks away, staring unseeingly into the darkness. He does not know what their intentions are but he knows he must get away, he will not fall prey to this.

“Ah, I see…” the woman whispers into his ear. “I know what it is you need.” And then finally steps away from him.

Lan Wangji breathes a sigh of relief as she walks backwards into the swarm of her similarly dressed accomplices, disappearing amongst them. None of them come any closer to him, but neither do they stop their swaying and dancing. Lan Wangji pays them no mind as he feels a slight tingling in his limbs, sensation slowly returning to him. All he needs is a few moments longer and his body will be able to break free of whatever magic is keeping him locked in place.

Then suddenly the swarm of girls starts unfurling like a flower, petals falling away one by one as something, no someone, makes their way towards him. Lan Wangji braces himself for the return of the woman, but when he looks up his breath feels like it has been snatched right out of his throat. Through the parting crowd comes a man more beautiful than anything Lan Wangji has ever seen before, with the walk of a feline on the prowl and a look in his eye that suggests he has just found his prey.

Lan Wangji tries his utmost to look away but finds his eyes uncooperative. They are drawn helplessly to the miles of golden skin illuminated by the moonlit sky. The man is even more sparsely dressed than the women, upper half of his body entirely bare except for the thick bands of gold around his sturdy arms. He wears just a length of flimsy, deep red fabric tied loosely around his slender waist, leaving most of one leg bare.

Almost every cut and groove of muscle is visible as he walks, and Lan Wangji feels his mouth dry up as the man comes to stand before him. Up close he is even more startling to look at, around the same height as Lan Wangji, his hair falling in thick unruly waves around his angular face. It is impossible to pinpoint which feature is most alluring; the cherry red mouth accented by a mole beneath the plump bottom lip, the bright, doe-like eyes, full of laughter when there is nothing to be laughed at, or perhaps the undeniable strength in the slender, bare body standing less than an inch away. Whatever it might be, Lan Wangji feels drunk on it.

“There you are,” the man says. His voice feels like a melody and Lan Wangji drinks it in.

A hand makes its way up his chest, larger and firmer than the one that had been in its place not so long ago. But Lan Wangji has already forgotten the woman and all the others around him. He cannot seem to remember anything before this moment, before this otherworldly creature graced him with his presence. The hand reaches up and curls around his neck and Lan Wangji’s pulse shoots up, his breathing quickening. He feels intoxicated, parched, ravenous. He wants the man before him with a ferocity he has never felt before.

“That’s right,” the man smiles, getting even closer. “I’m all yours.”

[botched-lineart]

sitting around pondering those luigi brothers rn

[sttoru]

older bf satoru catches you masturbating <3

 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. smut, pwp. age gap (reader early 20’s, satoru early 30’s). māsturbation. turns into cunnilingus. squirting. reader gets called ‘baby, angel, little girl’

you miss satoru so much. he had left you behind in his apartment after getting a call from a colleague, who needed help defeating a curse nearby. it’s been a few hours since then and you’re bored.

bored and horny.

you’re still riled up from the heated make out session you had with satoru before he departed. the one that got interrupted by that damned phone call. you need him back with you—for his slender fingers to touch you and his mouth to kiss you all over.

all you have of him is his shirt. you’re wearing it whilst laying back in his bed, the fabric seemingly oversized on your body. his scent is making you lightheaded. dizzy, to the point your hand moves down on its own.

“mhhg,” you cover your mouth with your free hand, not wanting to risk anything, even if you’re the only one in this apartment. you waste no time dipping your fingers underneath your panties, circling your clit with your thumb while your index and middle finger rub your moist folds.

all you can do is imagine that it’s satoru pleasuring you. he always does it so well—never once leaving you unsatisfied. you cannot recall the amount of times he’s made you squirt from just rubbing your cunt. you’re so touch deprived and he knows how to take advantage of that.

remembering that one moment where your boyfriend had you seated on his lap on the couch makes you increase the pace of your fingers. how he was so focused on listening to the news whilst gently rubbing your tingly cunt over the material of your panties, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

you recall how your panties were quite literally soaking after three whole orgasms. not once did his fingers directly touch your pussy, and yet he managed to elicit such strong reactions from you.

a frustrated whine in the shape of his name leaves your mouth. you want satoru back, so so badly. you want him to whisper sweet nothings inside of your ears as he makes love to you. that smooth and soothing voice of his makes you weak.

“fuck, angel,” satoru’s voice interrupts your little session. your eyes widen and you immediately pull your fingers out of your aching hole. you stammer and stutter, stumbling over your words as you look at the white-haired man standing at the doorframe of his room.

how do you even explain yourself?

your gaze flickers downwards which grants you the delicious sight of his bulge. his hand is right on top of it, indicating that he’s been touching himself before he decided to make his presence known.

satoru is panting, the sweat already starting to form on his forehead. he walks up to the bed and pries your hands away from your cunt. his cock stirs in his boxer briefs at the sight of you in his shirt. you’re so adorable to the older man. so needy. . .

without a word and like a starved man, satoru spreads your legs and yanks your panties down. your cunt is warm and soppy, the slick trail staining your underwear telling him enough. he doesn’t hesitate before diving his head between your plush thighs.

you feel a rush of warmth go through your body the instant his tongue comes into contact with your pussy. satoru’s nose repeatedly bumps against your clit as he tries to press his entire mouth onto your folds. his tongue lolls out, the tip navigating up and down your slit before pushing through, finding that little hole he can’t wait to devour.

“thank you for preparing my meal f’me while i was away,” satoru hums against your cunt before pulling back to allow his fingers to explore you. he glances up at you with a proud smirk before placing his mouth back where it belongs. he can’t let all the prep you did go to waste after all, “she’s fuckin’ delicious, baby.”

your hands pull at his hair in response, gaining a needy whine from your lover. he nearly chokes on both his spit and your juices. his hands hold onto the back of your knees and he uses that firm grip to push your legs further apart.

you’re nearly seeing stars. you didn’t even have time to register satoru’s sudden appearance. hell, you couldn’t even greet him or welcome him back home. that man wasted zero time in getting between your legs, eating you out like there’s no tomorrow.

you stumble over your own words. no matter how hard you try, not a sentence is able to form. all that leaves your mouth are moans of pure pleasure. your thighs shake and your hips buck against your lover’s mouth. you’re more than desperate for a release.

“c’mon, say my name again,” satoru sighs as he circles his tongue around your wet hole. he prods at it, tongue fucking you to acquire as much of your fluids as possible. your sweet wetness is making him throb in his pants, “mhmmm— my naughty little girl couldn’t wait.”

the older man feels great satisfaction at the thought of you being unable to withstand your pleasures. the sinful sight of you trying to fuck yourself with your little fingers on his bed, with his shirt on, is engraved in his mind forever. the second you moan out his name again, he goes all out.

satoru’s tongue doesn’t stop. even when you squeal and beg him to slow down because you feel like you’re going to cum early. that’s exactly what he wants; having you squirt all over his mouth and face. he needs to be covered with your slick.

you tug at his hair again - thinking that’d make satoru pull away - though the effect is the exact opposite. “nhh, do ‘t again,” he whines and moans against your folds, lapping up all that your pussy gives. the loud slurping noises reverberate throughout the room.

satoru’s eyes are closed, his furrowed brows adding to the concentrated yet content look on his blushing face. his lips, which are usually glossy, glisten even more with the liquid your cunt secretes. his eyes open every now and then to take a peek at you—to see if you’re still enjoying what he does.

“bet your small fingers weren’t enough, hm? y’ need mine?” satoru coos once he finally pulls his head back to breathe. he licks his lips as he stares at you with glazed and half-lidded eyes, totally pussydrunk. you don’t even have to respond to his questions. the answers are obvious by the way you’re trembling and desperately babbling incoherent pleas.

your boyfriend nods in understanding. he pouts at you while his fingers rub up and down your spread pussy lips. the pad of his thumb manoeuvres from your gaping hole to the little bundle of nerves at the top. satoru sticks two fingers in your cunt without warning. your high pitched whimper makes him coo at you, “yeah, i know, baby. let it out.”

the white-haired sorcerer pumps his long fingers in and out of you, a rhythm so addicting that it’s impossible not to give in. your back arches off the mattress. you’re trying your best not to stain satoru’s shirt with your juices, though you have a feeling he’d secretly like that anyway.

“am so close, ‘toruuu—fnngh,” you gasp and instantly feel satoru’s tongue replace his fingers. he wants to taste and feel your tight cunt spasm all around his tongue and mouth while you reach that point of no return. he’s going to try his best not to cum untouched in his pants this time.

satoru holds your hips with his big hands, keeping you down so he could properly eat you out and make you release all that tension. your pussy tingles and throbs, and you truly feel like you’re going to ascend.

it feels way too good. inhumanly good.

“cum on my tongu—“ satoru can’t even finish his sentence. a loud moan slips from between your lips, followed by a grunt from your boyfriend. his eyes roll back as your cunt releases more of its lewd fluids—spraying the liquid all over his mouth and chin.

you’re too busy trying to catch your breath to notice the mess you’ve created on satoru’s face and his sheets; a complete and total mess. the older man doesn’t mind neither. in fact, he enjoys it.

“shitttt, that was fuckin’ hot,” satoru flashes you a wide grin. he’s still somewhat drunk on you, which is visible by the way he’s licking up your mess from both his chin and your body. he cleans your cunt with his tongue—even if it’s overstimulating you.

he’s a greedy man when it comes to you. he wants more, more and more. whatever you’re offering, he will get.

satoru’s hands rub your sides to comfort you. he places soft kisses over your clit and pussy, as if he’s thanking you for the meal he just had the pleasure of devouring. he looks up at you with a cheeky smirk before laying his head against your inner thigh, his tongue peeking out between his glossy lips;

“think you can give me one more?”

[leafostuff]

Messes in Distress [Ft. Weeekly Jihan and Zoa]

Tags: BFH, 'Besties'!Zoa&Jihan, No plot all horny, Threesome, Double thigh riding, Double boobjob, Blowjob, Dirty talk, Fingering, Surprise Creampie, Anal, Pussy licking/eating, Mutual orgasm. no beta we die like man

Author's Note: as my august release i have to say: this is the filthiest fic I have ever written, throughout the entire writing process (which only took me two days) I have constantly felt both horny for those two gorgeous girls, but also inspired to keep writing and not stopping at anything.

as its also quite apperant, this is my first ever threesome smut, which I had tons of fun to write, so I do hope you will enjoy reading this fic that I worked very hard on.

PS: yes this was the post that I quickly deleted and responded with "YALL SAW NOTHING", my hand slipped on the post note lol

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This party never looked as colourful and vibrant as it is right now.

Or maybe its just the rave lights Jeonghoon, your best friend installed for his house party. After all of the finals you had to suffer this semester, a proper party is really what you needed, especially in such a big house like his which has more than enough space to party just in the backyard.

But back to what you were saying, there is so much for you to see from you view at the barstool chair. From the football players swimming inside, the cheerleaders eyeing them from the other edge of the pool, probably gossiping about the latest drama or whatnot, some frat boys drinking their 7th shot of the night while dancing to the DJ's (yeah your friend also hired a DJ for the party) music like there is no tommorow, and while some may look at this and call it anarchy, you find it quite enjoyable looking at it.

Then you see them

Two girls, one blondie, the other black haired, neither you have seen before (maybe you seen the blonde one in your 2 am walks back to your dorm, fetching groceries? Eh you don't really know), both of them wearing white tops that expose their bellies and denim blue jeans, both tailored to show their curves from head to toe.

They both look happy, eyes closed while both their bodies sensually move to the rhythm of the music. It's hard not to shift your focus to them, the way their bodies stand closer than usual while they look into each other ,how they lean their faces closer, engaging in a short kiss, or how-

Realize that the black haired girl caught your eyes, the blonde girl joins her, both smiling while their eyes wander downward.

you are a bit puzzled until you look down and realize; your pants now form a visible tent. You try to look away but its too late.

the two girls now exchange a look between each other before leaving the dance floor and heading toward you, their smiles are those of good girls, however you could feel their intentions are anything but.

Eventually they both stand in front of you, meanwhile

"You are Jeonghoon's friend, right?" The blonde asks, her voice softer than you thought.

"Uhhh...yeah? Why?"

"Great" the black haired girl joins the conversation. "We need a favor" she adds, her smile is even brighter than before.

"Sure" you answer, a bit confused "What favor you two need?"

They both grin widely before the blonde speaks again. "A BIG favour..." You could feel her fingers travel upward across your left thigh.

Meanwhile her friend leans her face to your right ear while her fingers mimic her friend's movement but on your right thigh and then her hand finds itself on your currently hard clothed member.

"A favour...only YOU can help us with..." She whispers in your ear.

Take a look at the two girls again, they are even prettier from close as each feature that you saw back then is now presented to you at high definition. From their silky and smooth hair, eyes that look like trouble but you are still in place as if you are frozen and their chests that look a size bigger than what you thought they were.

Their smiles which you could swear you could see them licking their lips.

Their soft, luscious looking red coloured lips that are oh so inviting...

You are not sure if the alcohol is talking right now but honestly, you don't care anymore. "Sure, I don't mind helping you two with your...favor".

The girls' smiles grow wider as you stand up from the barstool, take each one's hand and lead them inside the house and upstairs, thank god everyone else is outside.

"i never really got you two’s name" you said, navigating through the halls of the 2nd floor until eventually you find the door to Jeonghoon's room, but just as your hand gets close to the knob the two girls pin you to the wall, the black haired girl attached her mouth to your neck, alternating between licks, kisses and bites causing you to moan lightly.

Meanwhile the blonde puts her lips on you, engaging in a steamy makeout session while her tongue grazed against your teeth, as if asking for access to your mouth which you humbly accept. It's hypnotic how her sweet lips feel on yours, how her tongue explores inside your mouth, how as soon as she finds your own she initiates a sensual dance of tongues causing both of you to quietly moan.

You both eventually part lips, gasping for air, take a look at one you just kissed, her blonde hair now looks messier than it was when you first met her.

"heh...that was good" she speaks between pants, "anyways, i am Jihyo, and the one who is opening your jeans down there is Hyewon" look down, she already finished popping the last button, leaving you only in briefs.

"Well what are we waiting for, lets get inside" you say, the two girls giggle cutely while you open the room.

in the middle of the room is a king sized bed, big enough to have the three of you on it with pillows on the gar edge of the bed. The two girls lightly push you into the bed before joining you as each one straddles herself on each thigh of yours while their hands work together to take your shirt off your body, throwing it somewhere.

Now the three of you are in a loop.

Starting with Hyewon capturing your lips with hers while her hands rest on the left side on your chest l, admiring both your chest and abs. At the same time Jihyo latches her lips on the right side of your neck, delivering kisses from your shoulder all the way to your earlobe, there eliciting an audible moan directly to your ear before going back to her masterful attack of your neck, meanwhile her left hand wraps around your cock, rubbing it up and down in an attempt to get you harder as fast as possible.

Both of them also start to move their bodies back and forth on each of your thigh, letting you feel their friction getting you closer and closer to your first orgasm.

Suddenly, a switch; now Hyewon does Jihyo's job and vice versa, during those loops, your hands go each one to another girl, appreciating their bodies from their soft bellies all the way to their slander backs, then groping one breast of each girl causing both to gasp in surprise.

Eventually after enough back and forth of them pleasuring you, it gets harder for them to continue rubbing your cock as now they leave your lap, with both of their hands on the hem of your boxers. With perfect timing they pull it down, letting your cock pop out of your cock prison, leaving you the first one being fully naked.

"Wow...unnie, its so big" Hyewon says, looking at your member that is covered with some of your precum with excitement,

"Yes baby...he is so big, and all of it...for us" Jihyo responds, leaning into her friend's lips and pecks her lips lightly.

"I do think its a bit unfair i am the only one naked here" you mention the inequality.

"you are right Oppa" Hyewon replies, "i saw you staring at our tits, when we danced outside" she adds, leaving jihyo with a pretend surprise face.

"Is that so baby..." she questions her best friend before turning her eyes to you "Would you like to fuck them first?" the question might as well be rethoric as without any doubt you say.

"I would gladly want that"

"Then let us get started" Jihyo exclaims, letting you inch your body toward the edge of the bed. Meanwhile she goes behind Hyewon, hands grabbing the hem of her best friend's top, slowly pulling in an attempt to tease you slowly about each part of Hyewon's ample breasts, covered in a lacy purple bra until finally the top is completely off causing her tits to slightly bounce at the recoil, the piece of clothing is thrown at one of the pillows.

Now it's Jihyo's turn to discard her top, this time without any teasing, knowing you can't wait anymore for the show to begin as now she joined her friend being topless, only with a black bra as the wall between your eyes and her nipples.

back at Hyewon, she is now popping each button of her jeans while looking straight at your eyes, biting her lip in arousal and winking to you. Look down and see that her matching purple panties have a wet spot in the middle, making it clear to you that she is excited, and that she is waiting.

And she is not the only one as Jihyo also started quickly working on her own jeans, exposing her black panties and leaving the two girls only with their underwear, both their eyes and panties glistening in what can only be described as excitement.

It's sinful how they are both looking at your cock lustfully like it's their favorite meal waiting to be devoured, how they both kneel down to each side of your thigh while their face get closer to their prized possession.

How they both look at you with innocent eyes one last time before defying it forever.

The scene beneath you is filthy; two girls, both equally as gorgeous and sexy, engaging in a full on makeout session, loudly exchanging saliva with the tip of your cock in between receiving the leftovers. Both of their busts envelop the base, moving up and down, left and right in the rhythm of the kiss, even your balls are not left unsatisfied as both their underboobs take care of that part.

"Fuck...girls..." you mutter, only a minute passed and you are already in a haze, looking at the white ceiling, gripping the sheets of the bed to try and gain some semblance of control. You can't help yourself as you release an audible moan, making sure they know how good they make you feel.

"Unnie...I'm getting wet..." The black haired girl whined, pulling away from Jihyo's lips with an audible 'pop', panting to catch her breath before leaning back into the kiss

"me too baby," she breathily mumbles between kisses. "just a couple more seconds, i can feel him getting close ...".

eventually the first round of the white liquid came out, glazing both of their lips and tongues however they dont stop, even when some of your cum falls inside their mouth they continue, mixing both of their saliva with your cum, making both of their face messier by the second.

More cum erupts from your cock, painting the two girl's faces, some even get on their bras as you can feel yourself relieved with each string you shoot, soon enough the two girls release from their makeout session and rise up to sit on the edge of the bed, finally letting your cock rest, but not for long.

"Oh…you are still hard Oppa..." Hyewon exclaimed, cleaning some of your cum on her face before slightly pushing you closer to the middle of the bed, her previously innocent looking smile now has changed into a slutty grin.

“Let me help you” 

You don't even need words to show you agree as now hyewon hands go behind her back, letting an audible click be heard as her bra falls onto the bed, giving you a front view of her now hardened nipples.

Jihyo, seeing what her bestie is planning, quickly unclasped her bra as well and throwing it somewhere. Then they both, at the same time take their hands to their panties, quickly lowering them down their thighs, to their legs and then out of their bodies, finally joining you in being fully naked

Just the sight of the two girls' boobs being shown to you in their full glory and the way both of their neatly shaven pussies are leaking is enough to get your throat dry, unable to mutter a single word and only stare at them in awe.

Then, their second round of pleasure begins

Hyewon now leans down toward your shaft, letting her slender finger pump you one last time before her luscious lips envelope around the tip of your cock.

Her first slurp is enough to get you to moan loudly and move your head back in pleasure, then she starts moving her lips up and down at a steady pace, making sure every movement is audible with slurps, licks and everything in between. It's even worse when you see how her deer-like eyes stare directly into yours.

You are surprised to see how big her mouth is, as even though a lot of your cock is inside her mouth, she is still able to take more. Eventually your tip reaches the back of her throat, now deepthroating you 

“She is taking you sooo well, isn't she?” You didn't notice when Jihyo snaked behind you, her tits on your back while her hands glide around your pecs. her cloudy lips delivering sweet pecks to your neck and ear as only after processing all of the senses that she delivers you manage to get a small nod and mumble a small “ngh”

She cutely laughs at your attempt at her response. “I bet her lips feel so sweet on your big, thick cock” she whispers directly into your left ear, not expecting a seemingly sweet, adorable girl like her to speak such filth but for some reason, it excites you.

“I can't wait for you to fill both of our good girls holes with your thick, warm and sticky cum, letting you fuck us like your little slu-OH FUCK” but enough is enough as you finally lose your temper, silencing Jihyo by pushing your two left fingers into her wet pussy, your right hand starts groping one of her boobs while your lips connect with her own.

you three are now a mess.

You have Hyewon, her mouth fully coating your hardened shaft with saliva while her hands work diligently to massage your balls and inner thighs. Her eyes aroused by seeing you, fingering and groping her best friend to the points she stop messaging you with her right hand to finger herself to not leave herself out of the pleasure.

You have Jihyo, her eyes closed shut,  lost in the sheer amount of pleasure she receives and gives to you, each time your lips leaves her for attacking her neck she shouts a symphony of moans, but not for long before you continue to kiss her again

And then there’s you, feeling like the star of a porn video with two incredibly hot girls. Which you have never met before and now they are naked, hungry for your cock while you fuck them in various ways.

The only way you can describe this moment the three of you are sharing at the moment is heaven in hell.

“I AM SO CLOSE OPPA,” Jihyo shouts into the air, feeling her climax getting closer with each passing second. Yours is also not so far behind, as the suction of Hyewon's lips is driving you crazy.

However just as you were about to release your load into her throat, Hyewon swiftly lets her mouth out of your cock without any gag, she rises from her prone position and hovering closely above your cock, before quickly saying.

“I'm safe”

“Huh? What are you-OH FUCK” You dont have time to react as the deer-eyed slut impales her slick yet tight pussy directly on your dick, you could swear you see tears in her eyes from the pain she is feeling but its quickly replaced with tears of joy, signaling you that she wants this.

“UGHHH, YES” She curses loudly after the first explosion of cum erupts inside her. Then quickly comes the second, the third and even the forth, each pump gets Hyewon to a level of ecstasy she never felt before as she rolls her eyes backwards and lets her tongue hang out of her mouth while her orgasm flows onto the base of your dick.

At the same time your fingers also get coated by Jihyo's own fluids, moaning unintelligible words but it was clear that she was enjoying every second of her high. Eventually your mutual orgasm comes to an end, as you all fall into the bed, both girls on different sides while you are in between them.

For a moment the surrounding goes silent. No club music from outside the house, no chatter from drunk university students, the only sounds the three of can comprehend are each other’s synced up breathing, attempting to recover from your lust-filled haze. Finally, Hyewon gathers enough strength to talk.

“Oppa…are you…done” a breathy question came from her mouth as for the first time tonight, her eyes looked at yours with pure innocence.

You can't help but giggle at her question and lean forward to peck her lips. “I think with sexy you two are…i dont think i will ever be done” you respond.

“Oh, That's great to hear Oppa…” Jihyo interrupted your small talk with her friend. Take a look at her, her hair messy and ruffled, her entire body filled with a mixture of sweat and cum.

“Because…i haven't got your cum inside me yet…” she adds, her hands now go to her hair, smoothing it from any random strands and then parting it in the middle, creating two symmetrical ponytails from each side of her head.

“But…” another pause as she turns herself face down, letting herself gain control as she raises her body up while keeping her arms and knees on the mattress, her soft and curvy ass pointed up and directly at you before saying.

“I want it in my ass”

And just like that, you could feel yourself getting hard at the view, it's not hard to see how Jihyo's pussy is still wet and is leaking on the sheets, telling you that she is ready for her turn, but before you cave in to her request, her eyes turn toward Hyewon.

“Baby…i want to eat you out, i bet Oppa’s cum tastes as sweet as i think…” She gestures to her best friend, quickly Hyewon shifts in front of her face, sitting in a way that gives easy access to her pussy for Jihyo.

Realize that Jihyo's two ponytails are your handles, you grab each one with your hand, the blonde girl looks back at you one last time with a wide smile and shining eyes, signaling to you that she is ready for you.

And with that out of the way, you begin.

Starting a chain reaction, you pull both of Jihyo's ponytails and slam your cock deep into her asshole. In response, she elicits a moan but quickly she inches her tongue toward Hyewon’s entrance licking out some of your cum that was left over which causes Her to clamp her soft and meaty thighs around her best friend’s head and join Jihyo with her moans.

“Fuck, unnie…it feels so good” The deer-eyed girl moaned, quickly getting aroused again seeing her best friend eat her out while being pounded by you from behind.

“I know ugh baby…he ugh is so deep inside ugh my ass” Jihyo tries to mumble to her friend in between pounds from you and licks from her. Meanwhile, you are silent, lost in the cloudy haze of pleasure from how tight her ass is, only sometimes releasing a groan.

Eventually you start increasing your pace, and it seems that Jihyo’s enjoys it, mostly by the fact that she also starts moving her butt toward your dick, letting you hear breathy moans such ‘yes’ or ‘more’ while still having the energy to pleasure Hyewon, who was holding her best friend's head close to her pussy in order to get eaten out more often.

As you start feeling yourself getting closer to your ends, you mutter loudly. “Shit girls, I am gonna cum”.

“Load it in her ngh ass Oppa” Hyewon managed to respond, struggling to not vocalize her pleasure. “I bet my cock-slut unnie would love getting filled by your thick cum, just like you did to my pussy” she dirty talks, getting you one step closer to where they both want you.

“YES, PLEASE OPPA” Jihyo loudly moans while turning her face back to you. “CUM INSIDE ME, FILL MY SLUTTY ASS WITH YOUR COCK, AS MUCH AS YOU WANT”.

And then, you finally cave in to their requests as for the final time of the night, your cock shoots one last string of cum into Jihyo's ass, one last Lick of Jihyo's tongue into Hyewon’s Cunt and one time where Hyewon clamps her thighs on Jihyo’s head the three of you  moan from the sheer pleasure that overwhelms your bodies and then you all fall into the bed.

Once again the room is quiet, no one dares mutter a word, you all have enough strength to just look at each’s now with tired yet happy eyes.

And in your mind, only one thought pops in your head, and you know that both Hyewon and Jihyo were thinking about the same thing as well.

“Best. Sex. Ever”

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Started writing in 6/8/2024

Finished writing in 7/8/2024

[ao3lestappeninchident]

i saw all those pics of charles at the movie premier. can you write soemthing were he and reader are getting ready for it and maybe some making out

Premier

Charles Leclerc x reader

a/n: I love the suit he was wearing so much. it is so pretty.

----------------------------

"Where did I put it?" you asked yourself while running trough the hotelroom in London.

Ferrari is making Charles attend the movie premier of Gladiator 2 and, as his girlfriend, you have to keep him company. You love Charles with your whole heart, but those media duties can be a little bit annoying some times. More, when he decided to tell you only the day before that it would be happening and you had to throw some shit in a suitcase,

"What are you looking for Cherie?" Charles walks in, messing around with his bow tie as it wouldn't stay in the middle.

"Those earrings which match your brooch."You say as you look up at him. You were wearing one of Ferrari's own dresses and you looked absolutely beautiful.

Charles walked closer to you to help you look, his tie hanging crooked.

"Let me help you with that," you say and undo the bow to put it tighter in the middle, "Can you still breath with this?"

"No, you are taking all my breath away looking that beautiful." he smirks and you blush.

"You look quite handsome yourself, Darling." you place a kiss on his lips and Charles hands find their way on your hips. You want to pull away, but Charles stops you and connects your lips again, making you laugh into the kiss.

"We don ´ t have time for this right now, Charles."

You don't know how he manages to do it, but before you knew you were seated in his lap as Charles had sit down on the bed,"One kiss never hurt anyone."

Your fingers were moving through his hair as his hands were on your back, "Tellement belle," he mutters in between kisses. So beautiful.

Your lipstick had made its way onto his and Charles looked very beautiful too, "You have something here." you trace your fingers over it.

"Maybe another kiss makes it go away." He closes the gap again and a soft noise leaves your mouth.

There was a knock on the door, making you both stop what you were doing, "Charles are you ready, we have to leave." Carlos voice sounded soft. You both quickly stood up, putting yourself together as Charles walked over to the door.

"We will be done in five minutes mate." you couldn't hear what his teammate said, but the sound of Rebecca´ s heel become softer.

You put on some new lipstick and grabbed your bag. "Wait, my earrings." you walk to the table and grab them, "I almost forget them." You put them in and Charles laughs, holding out his hand before you leave the room.

[ma1dita]

james potter x reader please!

so, in this one james and lily survive but they realize that they aren't for each other and decide to get a divorce or whatever it is in the wizarding world. so harry spends half of the week with james, and half with lily and her new partner, mary macdonald (yes, i am a marylily shipper)

so, reader is harry's new primary school teacher and baby boy loves her!

one day, james picks harry up from school and meets harry's favorite “miss pretty,”

turns out, she was in the same class as james (different house, ravenclaw preferably) but he never really noticed her bcs all he ever thought about before was quidditch, his friends, and lily evans

ooooh, harry setting his dad up with reader would be amazing!

james potter x ravenclaw!teacher!reader

wc: 1.8k

a/n: no warnings, unedited. only one ravenclaw mention; thank you for the req love! sorry for the wait

—

Harry J. Potter is undoubtedly James’ son. From his unruly hair that can only be salvaged by a thick swipe of Sleakeazys, to the glasses that slide down the tiny bridge of his nose, and more evidently as of late—the mischief that runs through his veins, there’s really no doubt that this troublemaking 6-year-old is his.

No blood magic or Muggle fraternity… ehem, paternity test needed.

So there he sits in a too-small, sunshine yellow kiddie chair in the hallway of Harry’s classroom because he’s been called in for a parent-teacher meeting. The chair part wasn’t necessary, but Harry’s playing pretend to be a waiter at a 5-star restaurant that his mommy said Lily was taking her partner Mary to. And whatever Harry says, goes for the most part (which is exactly why he’s in this chair in the first place. He could paint a picture of how red Lily’s face got over the phone when she yelled at him over their baby getting called in for misconduct).

It all must’ve been a misunderstanding, or something he’s yet to find out the reason for, such as why little Harry’s pretend Michelin star establishment has the waiter flying food over in an airplane, complete with bumbling engine noises and his arms sticking out as he runs down the hallway. 

Classy.

“H, I ordered extra fries with this burger!” James says in a ridiculously indignant voice, pretending to huff and cross his arms and he almost cracks a smile when his little one comes giggling down the way back to him, “Coming right up, Daddy!” The other, much older parents that pass by the empty hallway are less enthused, but well, James Fleamont Potter and shame don’t belong in the same sentence, much less a lifetime. 

Tiny airplane arms graze the construction paper Hungry Caterpillar that lines the hallway, painted handprints waving back at little Harry as he runs full speed, until the door opens and BOOM!

James hears laughter instead of tears so when he abruptly stands up, knocking the small yellow chair over (and the purple side table he had all his imaginary food on), albeit trying to come off nonchalant, he’s relieved. What he’s more surprised about is the pretty lady that’s whirling his boy around in her arms.

“Harry the hurricane! Just in time to mix things up and sprinkle some energy back into my day huh?”

You’re dressed in a light pink vest and a long skirt that Harry’s hanging off of like the monkey bars at the playground and you seem to think nothing of it as you stick your hand out for him to shake, “Mr. Potter, thank you for coming in!”

“Oh love, James is fine I—” “DADDY! SAY HI TO MISS PRETTY!”

Quite right, he thinks. There’s something charming about you that he finds himself trying to figure out, hair tied messily on your head, different marker stains on your hands, and a stray holographic sticker that says “What a Star!” seems to have found its way to your abdomen. He thinks that if the professors at Hogwarts were this beautiful, he’d actually spend less time in detention.

The tot is grinning ear to ear and almost bouncing as you crouch down and gently take his hands off your skirt and into your own with a velveteen smile, “What did we say, hon? When we’re inside the classroom, we use our inside voices. Soft like a warm breeze, hmm?”

“But Miss Pretty, I’m not in the classroom yet!” Harry says cheekily as he points to his light-up sneakers standing toes away from the doorway. The boy goes running in towards the back of the room to go play with the building blocks and James has to bite his tongue when he watches you pinch your nose before taking your place at the desk in the front of the room.

“Well hello then, Miss Pretty,” he says with a smirk, throwing his blazer over the back of the thankfully adult chair and rolling his shirt sleeves up as he takes a seat. It’s quiet in the room besides the sound of Harry pretending to be Godzilla on a poor imaginary city in the background.

You stare at him a bit sideways, a beat of silence occupying the space between you, and then a snort escapes you—unladylike, but oh, what a woman. 

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

He blinks. Harry’s block towers crash to the ground and it sounds like James’ hopes of this going anywhere outside the classroom, a reverberating sound that drops with his heart falling to his ass, “Say what now?”

“Dear Godric, you’re still the same as back at school!” you scoff, leaning back in your chair and kicking your legs up on the desk (that he admittedly takes a peek at, but anyways); clearing his throat he’s so sure there must be some sort of misunderstanding—how could anyone overlook someone as stunning as you?

“I should’ve known, to be honest, when a mini-me of you walked in here on the first day, oh—the look on my face, I swear Lily’s gonna get a kick of this when she comes by next week, she was worried that you were coming in and not her anyways.”

The furrow in his brow is like a faultline right now, wondering how in the hell all of this has gone wrong in the last few minutes from the door, “Don’t bother with anything that woman says,” and then you’re laughing because, “Funny, from what I remember, you bothered her no matter what she said.”

And look how that turned out 7 years and a divorce later. 

Co-parenting with Lily Evans-McDonald is not for the weak, after all.

“Why am I even here?” James says exasperatedly, eyes flickering to the ceiling and then to his son who’s doing airplane arms as he kicks down his blocks. You cross your arms almost smugly, and he hopes you don’t take offense, which he clarifies by the frazzled look on his face and the hands he runs through his hair—”Your son called me stupid in class yesterday…”

Dear Merlin.

“And he said that his daddy was the one who told him to say it.”

A wheezing noise leaves his chest and he’s in disbelief, eyes whipping between you and his darling boy and the fact that he’s smack in the middle of looking an outright fool when it comes to this parenting all because of—

“You do know I didn’t mean it like that it’s just—”

You’re grinning as he loosens his tie in a panic, “We didn’t learn the alphabet like that back in our day?”

“I MEAN WHO CHANGES THE ALPHABET SONG? Truly!” James blubbers as he tries to cover his ass and somehow he’s the one who feels like he’s in trouble with the teacher. 

Perhaps he is, though this was not the original scene he had in mind walking in here. He takes a deep breath once you give him the same look you did Harry about his inside voice and—Godric you’re good at that—”And obviously…obviously I didn’t know you were his teacher.”

“Oh? Does that make a difference, Mr. Potter?”

You’re biting down on a perfectly plump bottom lip and his eyes are still wide and he can’t do anything but laugh.

“How asinine of me. You’re a Ravenclaw if I remember, right? Used to study with Moony all the time…” James mutters like he’s discovered something monumental and then he whispers your name, and it sounds as soft as you—something unearthed and new. He likes the way it sounds coming from his mouth and by the quirk of your lip, you do too. “How could I forget you?” 

The two of you chuckle like how children share a secret and it’s all too confusing for his bundle of joy that comes bounding past the seats and pushing off his father’s lap. 

“Oof—” James wheezes as he gets the wind knocked out of him, hunching over in pain, “Careful H, holy sh—” He swallows down the rest of his thought as you raise an eyebrow at his language, instead scooping Harry into your arms and sitting him on the edge of the desk.

“Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that at Harry’s age, his brain is like a sponge—there’s a lot for him to learn and he’s obviously a lot like his daddy, so Daddy’s going to have to be more conscious of what he has to say.” 

Oh the irony.

“Daddy will then, yeah?” he chokes out, restraining himself at the joyous look on his kid’s face when Harry says, “Miss Pretty, can you be Daddy’s teacher too?”

You pat the boy’s head and pinch a chubby cheek, “He’s got a lot to learn too, right Harry? Daddy was always in detention when we were little too.”

James is stirring in his seat and feeling hot under your gaze as he watches you interact with his son. He kind of regrets letting Lily take the reins with all of Harry’s parent-teacher meetings because clearly, he’s been missing out.

“Daddy was also Head Boy, but okay.” The two of you are giggling at the disgruntled look he gives your comment and James feels outnumbered, but not in a way that bothers him. If he’s being honest, he can understand why Harry was so intent on always getting his homework done right.

A while after, you all walk towards the door and Harry’s proudly walking out with a “Dinomite!” sticker on his forehead as James and you catch up on trivial things and then…

“DADDY! YOU RUINED THE DINNER!”

Harry’s pointing at the overturned table in the hall that he seems to have missed earlier and James cringes as he feels an imminent tantrum—if you call him a hurricane wait until he starts crying like a tornado siren. But you come to the rescue and bend over to shake his shoulders, “It’s okay Harry that just means you can make Daddy dinner again!” The little one is rubbing his eyes and whining a bit more softly and his father is looking at you like you’re an angel on Earth.

“That’s our cue to go,” he laughs, squeezing your arm and shaking his head, “Wish I could bring you hom—That’s not. That didn’t come out right,” he stutters, “I mean that you’re kind of a miracle worker and clearly doing better than how I fare sometimes with him. I think we’re too alike.”

“You’re doing great and he’s an amazing kid,” you reassure him, pulling out a sticker and pressing it onto his lapel. It’s of a triceratops and says “No one tops you!” He reads it and smirks, the famous James Potter smolder coming out to play and you roll your eyes. Harry is tugging at both your hands and when you look down at him, he’s hopeful and looking at you with determination he must’ve got from his mother.

“Since Daddy’s ruined dinner would you like to teach him now Miss Pretty? He’s got a lot to learn like you said.”

You’re at a loss for words, trying to stutter your way out of this one but James thinks it’s the best idea he’s ever heard.

After all, like father, like son.

“Think I could even go for extra credit if I’m allowed, Miss Pretty.”

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Free Fall | Azriel x Angel!Reader

Summary: After you fell from the sky into his arms, Azriel finds you as his mate, and finally introduced you to his family.

Word Count: ~ 1.3k

Warnings: None! Just a whole lotta fluff

A/N: Thank you to anon who requested this!! It’s just pure fluff and I love it, hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

Masterlist | Next

From the moment you’d fallen from the sky during one of his missions, and he’d caught you in his arms, he’d known you were his.

You had wings like a Peregryn, white, flexible, and feathered, resembling a bird. What was unusual was the little wings that were on the sides of your head, stemming from right around your ears and remaining at all times.

He had been quite surprised, to say the least, and naturally had talked to Rhys about it.

You had been clueless and naive to a fault when he’d found you, and he first wanted you to adjust to this realm before meeting any of his family. Rhys, luckily, had agreed with this and had lent out his cabin in Illyria for you to stay in for now.

It had been baby steps at first, teaching you how to care for yourself, take a bath, brush your teeth and hair, hell, he’d even had to teach you how to use the bathroom. The only thing he hadn’t taught you was how to fly, as you seemed to already know that based on instinct.

Slowly, the two of you had grown closer, and after a few months of working with you, that was when the bond had snapped, and he’d then taught you how to please him throughout the frenzy.

Your wings were sensitive, erogenous in places just like Illyrians, especially the tiny pair of wings on the sides of your head. The littlest touch had you coming undone.

His angel, he’d call you. And he completely believed it.

He knew he was beyond lucky to have you as his mate, untouched, pure, and innocent as a dove. An angel above all things.

Eventually, his family wanted to meet his angel, and after reassuring him that you would be fine with it, he finally arrived at the townhouse, pausing outside the door.

*********************************************************

“It’ll be fine,”

You reassured him, seeing the worried look in his hazel eyes. Your hand rested around his arm.

The townhouse looked lovely, overlooking the large river, the Sidra, Azriel had called it. You would never stop being amazed by this world and its beauty. You could smell freshly baked goods from the home, and many people.

Your nerves rose a bit, but it would be alright. Azriel wouldn’t take you anywhere you wouldn’t be safe.

“Alright, just…they can be a lot. Tell me if you get overwhelmed.”

He spoke softly, before pushing open the door. The sound of excited chatter soon filled the area as you stepped inside.

The High Lord stepped forward to greet you, hair as dark as Azriel’s, but with violet eyes. He looked a bit tired, but immediately started studying you as he offered a hand.

“I’m Rhysand, I’m assuming you’re Y/N?”

He asked, and you nodded, taking his hand in a simple handshake.

“That..would be me.”

You spoke, eyes darting around to all the people in the room, which looked to be a large family room. There was a giant couch and a few armchairs. The couch had one male on it, an Illyrian, you recognized by his wings. Three females were around the room, two in separate armchairs, and the other seated right next to the Illyrian.

Rhys glanced back at them and realized he had to introduce everyone.

“This is…Cassian,”

The Illyrian on the couch. He gave a lazy grin.

“Nesta,”

The female that was on the couch, from the scent alone you could tell her and the Illyrian were mated. She raised a brow at you.

“Mor,”

The blond female in an armchair, in a red dress, a glass of wine in hand. She offered a little smile.

“Amren,”

A tiny female in an armchair also with a glass of wine. She had black hair down to her shoulders and gave you a sharp glance.

“My mate, Feyre, is rocking our son, and Elain is in the kitchen.”

He finished, gesturing for you to sit down. A head popped out of the kitchen and offered a warm smile. So that was Elain.

Azriel glanced over at you, making sure you were perfectly alright. You knew that he would whisk you away at the slightest sign of anything being wrong or amiss. With one hand around your waist in a slightly possessive manner, he led you over to the couch, and sat down with you, Cassian to his right, and you to his left.

“So, where exactly are you from?”

Nesta asked, looking you over with obvious curiosity. You were quite used to it right now. The question was a difficult one to answer, but you tried your best, Azriel’s hand around your waist soothing.

“I'm not sure. According to Azriel, I fell out of the sky.”

You answered, a little shy smile on your face. The female blinked at that, clearly not having expected that. Cassian then spoke up with a grin, nudging Azriel with his elbow.

“Isn’t that adorable, the love of his life falling from the sky into his arms~”

He spoke in a teasing tone, clearly amused. Azriel shot him a withering glance, but next Amren spoke up.

“So you’re from another realm?”

The tiny woman asked in a blunt, dry tone. You paused before answering.

“Well..yes, I think so. I don’t have any memories beyond what I’ve experienced here.”

Amren seemed mildly intrigued by that, based on the glint in her eye, but just gave a little ‘hn’ in response before sipping at the wine glass yet again.

“What’s up with the little wings?”

Mor then asked, a friendly grin on her face as she glanced at the tiny feathered pair of wings that stemmed from around your ears. You flushed a bit, remembering all the ways Azriel had touched and stroked those wings.

“Yeah, they’re like a cute lil’ mini pair.”

Cassian said, hand reaching over to brush against them, but before he could even reach Azriel’s hand snatched his wrist, a low growl sounding out. Territorial Fae bastard, but you were lucky for it.

Rhys raised a brow, a smirk gracing his lips.

“I wouldn’t get too comfortable, Cass.”

He said in an amused tone as Cassian withdrew his hand and held them up in a gesture of innocence, Nesta giving him an unimpressed look as Azriel glared at him.

“My bad. I didn’t expect Az to be the territorial type.”

He said in defense, at which Azriel huffed through his nose and glanced back down at you. You raised a brow, giving him an amused glance.

“They’re..sensitive.”

You said simply about your wings, Cassian catching the implication.

“Ohhh..”

He said, now looking the slightest bit sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck, giving an apologetic grin.

Elain then emerged from the kitchen, a plate full of cookies in her hand that she placed on the coffee table, before sitting down. Everyone snatched one or two of the cookies on sight, Azriel grabbing two and offering you one.

You took it, taking a little bite and nearly moaning at how good it was. It was gooey and warm and overall delicious, that woman was a master chef or something.

“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes,”

Elain then announced, and Nesta got up, presumably to go help set the table. Cassian trailed after her like a lost puppy.

“I’ll go get Feyre,”

Rhys said, before walking up the stairs and going to get his mate, who was hopefully done rocking their baby boy. Amren gave you one final glance, before getting up and stalking off to get more wine, Mor following after her to get her preference from Rhys’ “secret” collection.

Now that the two of you were alone in the family room, Azriel’s worried eyes turned to you, taking one of your hands in his own.

“Are you alright? Were they-?”

You squeezed his hand once, smiling up at him.

“They’re perfect.”

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Could we…. Expound on Shikamaru’s sexual prowess maybe??? I’m tryna see something….. for research, of course.

For research.

this took forever cause i hyped shikamaru's sexual prowess up so much, im sorry for the wait - anyway, thank you for the request, i hope this helps your research

Joint Reverie

Pairing: Shikamaru x f!Reader

Summary: Our lovely reader has been Shikamaru's fwb for a while now, and is waiting for him to return to Konoha from a diplomatic mission. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

W/c: 5.5k

Warnings: Weed (it's a Shikamaru fic, y'all), INTENSE SMUT, pussy eating, cock sucking, nipple playing, slut-calling (real brief, and not in a degrading way), cum-tasting, and penetration - also a lack of protection

Notes: not a part 2 per say, but can very much work as a follow up to this fic... anyway, how do we feel about this one, horndogs? is it up to par? also, Sasuke is the competition dealer, though he isn't in town much.

Masterlist💿

The speakers were such a worthwhile hassle, after you spend your day tangling them all around your tiny, little apartment. Two in the bedroom alcove and four around the living area - they set you back a couple thousand yen, but you couldn't have been happier.

As you placed them, you traced the wires back to the soundboard that your old man had given you. He owned the most popular pub in Konoha, Kintaro Izakaya, and had done the technical sound work at the establishment for years. He was more than happy to give you an old mixer board, and two old speakers to boot - but you really needed new speakers, speakers of your own.

When all was done, you plugged your record player into the soundboard and then plugged them both into the wall, flicking the on switch on your soundboard. Kneeling, you pulled the crate which held only your favourite records from under the table while the board came to life.

What do I want to listen to most?

You shook your head at yourself as you thumbed through the assorted albums. Colours flashed, titles whizzed by - the captured faces of yester-year stared back at you, begging you to chose them.

So, when you got to the beautiful, young faces of Roger Waters and David Gilmour (that's right, I said it, they're yum), you could help but choose The Piper at the Gates of Dawn.

You slipped the vinyl from its sheath and popped the lid of your record player open with your little finger. Carefully, you slotted the black disc around the anchor in the middle and closed the lid, placing the empty album on top of the glass.

With two gentle fingers, you tapped the play button, and the needle arm picked up. You got behind the soundboard, turning the gain dial by a hair, the lights flashing as the needle contacted the vinyl.

You turned the gain dial two clicks more as the radio chatter began to come through. You raised all the equalizer slides to the middle of their tracks, then pushed the rumble and high end further. The beeping began, a bit tinny, so you raised the low-end dial just above the low and high mid sliders, before pulling the mid range down by a hair.

The sounds surrounded you, standing near the middle of your apartment. They wrapped around you, and, as Roger Waters began to sing, you could feel a tear in your eye.

Fuck, you loved improving your apartment, even with such a trifle. It was your happy place, honestly and truly.

Feeling quite content with your work, you sat on your plush, grey couch. The springs whined beneath you as you reached under the coffee table to procure your rolling tray. Such a big day, with so many emotions, surely called for a joint.

Pulling one of your pink papers from the packet, you took a deep breath. The instrumental had begun, and the notes were still hitting your ear exactly how you wanted them to. You tore off a corner of the packet and began to roll a filter, in a desperate attempt to keep your mind quiet.

Alas, you were never so much as a thought away from the ache between your legs, and the only man who could cure it - even after so much sweat, even while rolling up a new distraction.

How were you going to last two more fucking days without him?

The diplomat always had to go so far away, and for such long swaths of time, but this was the longest he'd been gone since the two of you... had come to understand your relationship differently. 

The past two weeks and change had been fucking torture.

He made your toys so wildly unsatisfying, and you didn't want to go out, whoring... well, maybe a little, but whoever you found probably wouldn't satisfy you either. Sure, you could've gone out to find another person to invade the sanctum of your body- see, no, you couldn't. Other people were so... not Shikamaru. They wouldn't make you see the whole night sky from behind your eyelids, not like he did.

To make matters worse, you were already running low on your reserve weed, which you had to purchase off Sasuke, of all people, the last time he was in town. It was Ino who recommended him, and you trusted your good friend's good word. Plus, your dealer was way the fuck out of town, and you were a fiend - no shame in that.

Folding the paper over your tray, you dumped whatever was left in your grinder down. Skillfully as always, you slotted the filter into one end, and began to roll the flakes down. Eventually, you folded the paper in and made a nice, little cone.

Sasuke's product wasn't too shabby either, like Ino promised. It was properly sticky, and almost had a crystalized sort-of look. It was good weed, but it was a far cry from that purple weed of Shikamaru's.

You filled the tip with fallen weed from your tray, and then screwed it shut before putting the filter in your mouth. With a heavy sigh, you scoured the table for your lighter and realized Lucifer Sam had begun to play while you were so preoccupied, thinking about Shikamaru.

That prick can't leave me alone, even in his absence, you thought with a smile as you picked up a white lighter. Does he think about me half this much? Does it piss him off as badly?

Definitely not, but if so - the next answer would have to be, yeah, totally.

You two were simply friends who seshed alone, who shared chocolates, who occasionally fucked and stole kisses. Nothing more, nothing less.

Dragging your perfect joint, you settled into the couch, pulling an ashtray close on the coffee table. You were too in your head. You had to relax, to gather yourself, and remind yourself-

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Man, fuck, you just sat down.

Throwing the small amount of comfort, you had built-up out the window, you got up from the couch, puffing your joint quickly, and drew to the door, not bothering to look through the peephole. Mr. Irizawa kept your building nice and safe - it was probably just one of your neighbours coming to ask you for a cup of sugar, or something like that.

Except, as you pulled open the door, you realized it was nothing like that.

Before you could even smile, Shikamaru threw something onto your couch and cupped your face with both of his hands. He pulled the two of you together in a swift motion and his lips were pressed to yours, hungry and hot, demanding and desiring.

He broke away for only a split second to groan, "Fuck, I missed you."

You smiled as he kissed you again, pushing you back into your apartment and letting the door shut behind him. With a matching force, you kissed Shikamaru back, and he audibly chuckled to himself, letting his right hand drop to your waist. He pulled away, but pressed about five small kisses to your lips as he did so.

Body alight, you beamed, "I missed you too. I thought you still had-"

"Nah, took care of it, darling" Shikamaru responded lowly with a shrug, clearly in the mood for other things.

Ugh, and so were you. Finally.

For a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, smiling like dopes. Shikamaru's warm hand remained on your face, as he brushed the pad of his thumb over your cheek. You took in his sage green sweatpants, and his loose, black long-sleeve, and the way his ponytail seemed to droop a little. It seemed Shikamaru had the presence of mind to shower before he saw you - something you wouldn't have done if you had to go away for so fucking long.

Part of you would have liked a little bit of notice, so you could have showered, or taken out the trash, or something like that - but most of you didn't care and knew he wouldn't either.

Carelessly, you brought the joint to your lips, and Shikamaru's eyes flicked to it immediately, making him lean away from you slightly as he asked, "How could you possibly still have weed left?"

"I had to get some," you gasped, trying to keep the smoke in your lungs.

With a smirk, Shikamaru traced your soft cheek with the back of his index finger, before stealing the joint away from you. He hummed, "Good for you, sneaking into the Nara Compound - I was only joking when I suggested that I didn't think you'd actually do it."

Ooh, shit. You'd negated to specify where you had gotten your weed, honestly forgetting that Shikamaru had ever told you to dip into his stash when you ran out. That really was a crazy suggestion, one that you truly wouldn't take up.

Shikamaru, of course, realized that as soon as he took a long drag from your joint. His eyebrows furrowed immediately, looking at the pink joint in his fingers like it tasted of bleach as he exhaled.

"Where the fuck did you get this?" He asked slowly, drawing the filter back to his lips to take three, short, consecutive puffs. Shikamaru's dark eyes snapped to yours, betrayed. "I'm not mad - but I need to know who sold this to you."

"Sasuke," you answered immediately.

Shaking his head at a painfully slow rate, Shikamaru put the joint back to his lips as he looked at the ground. He took another drag and pulled the joint from his lips like it burned him. With a scoff, Shikamaru lamented, "It's fucking gas."

"Awe, are you jealous, baby boy?" You teased, stealing the joint back from Shikamaru, who looked at you with a certain spark in his eye. You clicked your tongue and pinched his cheek with your free hand. "Well, it's blinding you to taste - your weed is so much better."

"Fuck off, you're saying that to make me feel better," he chuckled as he watched you take a lasting drag from the joint. You pulled it away, passing it back to him. Shikamaru took it hesitantly and sighed, "At least I know you rolled this yourself; no one can roll one quite as tight as my doctor, eh?"

"I don't fuck around, man," you exhaled, creating a thick cloud around the two of you as Shikamaru's grip on your waist tightened. "Seriously. You've got the best product in Konoha, it's a known fact."

A beat of silence passed between the two of you as Shikamaru dragged the joint deeply. He held it then puffed up the smoke randomly. After another drag, he asked, "So, why'd you waste your money then?" He exhaled, "Huh? I know that bastard overcharged you, and I can't even stand the thought of you, seshing with him-"

"Sasuke doesn't smoke - he's a good dealer like that," you teased, trying to soothe Shikamaru's annoyance over.

Didn't work. Shikamaru's eyes snapped to yours, that spark catching to a flame behind them.

You shook your head and sighed, "Look, man; I wouldn't have gone to Sasuke, if I knew it'd bother you so much... I didn't think you were the possessive type."

"Go to Sasuke for anything else, darling?"

"No," you said pointedly. "And what about you, playboy? Did you get any strange while jaunting around the Cloud?"

Shikamaru's expression went from interrogatory, to relieved, to amused, within the span of ten seconds. He laughed deeply, "No, I didn't get any strange."

"Good, I don't need you to make me go get tests," you snipped, stealing the neglected joint form his fingers.

Hooking it into your mouth, you shimmied out of Shikamaru's arm and padded over to your soundboard while he took off his shoes. You turned down the gain, then pushed the rumble up again.

"Quite the set up you've got going on here," Shikamaru hummed behind you as you looked over the lights and buttons in front of you. You smiled, puffing away as you watched the mixer lights jump with each strum, each bang, each lyric. "Wanna give me a lesson, finally? If you don't, it's fine, just know, your buttons are begging me to push them."

He really wasn't kidding, as you had to smack away his hand almost immediately. "Woah, Nelly - paws off," you giggled, angling yourself toward him. You tapped the mono/stereo button lightly, and said, "This one does the least damage, but don't be rough with my buttons."

"Then give me something to be rough with," he suggested.

"Charmer," you hummed, as Shikamaru's presence came over your shoulder. You pressed your ass against him, already feeling his mouth-watering length hardening against you. Your eyes remained solidly on your soundboard as you played with the high-end slider. Pulling the joint from your lip, you mumbled, "You have me already, don't you?"

Indeed, he did. Wrapped right around his lithe fingers.

Shikamaru's warm hands found purchase on the curves of your hip and waist, on either side, moving up and down as his long fingers mapped the expanse of your figure. Warm, minty breath washed over your exposed collarbone, Shikamaru leaning down to kiss and nip at the tender skin playfully. You yelped, twitching against him, just like he wanted.

"As I live and breathe..." His words were so quiet, you almost missed them amongst the sounds of the Pink Floyd; but you could feel the very vibration of his tone against your clavicle. Louder, Shikamaru purred, "I was withering away without you."

Rubbing your ass against his length again, you leaned into Shikamaru as his arms wrapped around your torso. His forearms were so thick, the muscles strained against the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing. The scent of his piney soap filled your nose, getting you higher than any strain ever could. Shikamaru's hands glided across your body, pulling you flush to him, squeezes and caresses in their wake.

In a swift movement, Shikamaru stole the joint from your fingers and put it in his mouth as he spun you around against the table, hand remaining on your hip. He puffed the joint greedily, as he told you between drags, "There is less than a reason for you to keep smoking this shit - you've got a fresh ounce now."

"Works for me, sweetheart," you hummed in response, looking over to the package he had thrown on your couch. You leaned up to press soft kisses to his neck as you whispered, "You know you and yours make me feel the best."

As Shikamaru chuckled lowly, you could feel the thrum against your lips, as your hands clutched his broad shoulders. With that edge in his voice that drove you mad, he asked, "Me and my what, darling?"

"Y'know, you and your everything," you responded with a laugh of your own.

"I want you to use your words, pretty girl," he insisted, pulling you away from him.

Eyes sparkling playfully, and his signature lazy smile on his lips, Shikamaru looked absolutely perfect. He was so fucking handsome, all the time, but in this moment- cripes. 

"Fuck, and I wanna tear your clothes off."

Shikamaru laughed lowly, ashing the roach in the ashtray on your table, "Then, tell me, what of mine makes you feel the best?"

Before you could come up with some witty remark, Shikamaru's gaze returned to you, a new kind of flame kindling in his eye. One that spoke of a lust that existed in the depth of his soul, one that commanded you to comply, with the promise of great reward.

"Do you want a list?" Your eyes darted to Shikamaru's lips as he nodded playfully, hooking his other arm around you now. You hummed, "Well, off the cuff, you've got the best weed - and the best dick-game, ever." Shikamaru cocked his eyebrow, so you continued, "Seriously, no one's ever made me cum... just the people in this room."

Shikamaru laughed loudly, moving back with you in his arms, pulling you along to the alcove where your bed sat. "Keep going. I like it when you sing my praises."

"Look at you; big, strong Shikamaru, soon-to-be Head of the Nara clan, demanding to be praised," you teased as Shikamaru collapsed onto your bed, pulling you on top of him as his cheeks reddened.

Sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, Shikamaru shrugged, "Exactly. Don't you think I deserve a kind word?"

"I think you deserve everything and a bag of chips, sweet boy," you giggled, pulling yourself to straddle Shikamaru's lap. Your clothed heat rubbed against the bulge in his sweatpants, giving both of you a delicious bout of friction, and making Shikamaru's dick twitch in the process. With a content lilt, you sighed, "You're so impressive, Shikamaru. In every capacity; mental, physical, business-wise."

"Think Sasuke's impressive?" He asked with a crooked smirk, trying to disguise the curiosity in his tone as humour.

"Eh, sure, kinda - nothing like you though, no one impresses me like you do." Your tone was so soft, as you continued, "Not in any way - you're so smart, and handsome, and so extremely well-endowed." Grinding your hips down, you leaned down to press another string of kisses to his neck. In a small voice, you said between kisses, "I only think about you, sweetheart... only you."

Grasping your hips with a true grip, Shikamaru began grinding you against his erection with vigour. You could feel the veins through all the layers of cotton that separated you, and a small gasp fell from your lip as his shaft pressed right against your clit.

"Only me, huh?" He asked as his fingers got lost beneath your shirt. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Fucking you, if I can help it," you answered instantly, sitting up on his lap.

You pressed your hands against his chest but applied a generous pressure to your seat as you continued to move your hips in small circles. Shikamaru chuckled warmly, still playing with the hem of your shirt. He looked up at you with a smile, his eyes crinkling into halfmoons as he did.

"Then, how about this for a schedule?" Shikamaru sat up a little as he spoke, grasping the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head. He threw the fabric across the room, warm hands coming to your suddenly cold back, Shikamaru smiled up at you as he said, "We go out to a nice dinner, take a walk, then we fuck?"

Oh, fuck yes! Tonight is the motherfucking night! 

You kept your cool. You smirked, leaning down a bit to catch his head between your tits. Shikamaru kept his eyes on your face, awaiting your answer, as his fingers drew strange shapes on your back.

"How about..." You hummed, pushing him back onto the bed. Shikamaru fell back, confidence faltering slightly as his hands slid to your thighs. With a bright smile, you leaned over him a little and proposed, "We fuck, then dine, fuck again, then walk, then fuck a third time?"

"You're the fucking jackpot."

His words were so mumbled and strung together that you could hardly make them out, but you didn't really care. Shikamaru's smile was back, and he pulled you down for another kiss.

With zeal, his hands moved up your thighs, onto your hips and up your bare torso. Shikamaru cupped one of your tits, immediately catching your left nipple between his thumb and forefinger, while one remained around your back. Suddenly, he flipped you both, so that you were lying on the bed.

Hovering above you for just a second, Shikamaru tore his shirt off and threw it to a corner of the alcove before leaning back down to kiss you. He pinched your nipple, making you gasp, which allowed him to slip his tongue into your mouth quickly. You hummed into his mouth, just so fucking content with how everything turned out - for once.

Moving down, Shikamaru trailed kisses down your jaw, then peppered your neck with little suckles and bites. You whimpered and twitched, only inciting Shikamaru to continue nipping down to your chest.

"Please, sweetheart, stop teasing me," you mewled as his lips captured your right nipple. Shikamaru's tongue swirled for a moment, before his teeth grazed the sensitive skin. You gasped, scratching his shoulder a little with one hand, "Please, please, please."

"Nuh uh, never," he chortled, popping his mouth off your right tit, only to move to the left. 

One of his hands continued to play with your suddenly chilled nipple, as he tongued your left areola wildly. His fingers pinched, while his mouth massaged - he palmed your right tit and sucked the left, looking up at you through his dark eyelashes.

Your hips bucked up, seeking the previous friction, and you clenched around nothing. Rubbing your thighs together didn't provide any solace, because Shikamaru noticed almost immediately and put his leg between yours. 

Moving your hands down, you scratched at his back, trying to pull him up even a little. It didn't work, and Shikamaru moved further down your body as a show.

"Patience is a virtue, darling," he reminded you with a gentle timbre, pressing kiss after kiss to your stomach and abdomen. "Besides, you know I like it when you get all desperate for me."

"Man, fuck you," you whined, your body jerking unconsciously as Shikamaru's hands came to your waistband. "I'm not desperate... I've just been needing you so bad, Shikamaru."

His fingers dipped below the waistband of your sweatpants as he hummed, "I dunno, I'm not convinced."

"You're so mean to me, you know that?" You shuttered as his fingers danced just beneath your waistband. "I'd get on my hands and knees to beg you, and you'd still make me do a dance."

"Well, you are the best dancer," he chuckled.

Your retort was cut off before it could begin as Shikamaru finally tugged at your pants. You were quick to pop your hips up so he could peel them off, and you tried to pull him back to you again. But Shikamaru planted his feet firmly to the ground and lowered himself to the edge of the bed, pulling you forward.

"Hey, I didn't shower-" You tried to warn him, sitting up.

Shikamaru pushed you back down easily and put your legs over his shoulders. Immediately, he said, "Hey, I don't care."

"Mean," you mumbled.

Without any build-up, Shikamaru leaned forward and licked a fat stripe up your pussy. You gasped, while he groaned, "Delicious."

Shikamaru pressed a myriad kisses to your inner thigh then - kisses, so sloppy, you weren't entirely sure he wasn't licking your thigh. But you didn't care, because his soft lips just felt so good against the tingling skin. The glorious sounds from your new speakers fell on deaf ears, as the fog of pleasure clouded your mind entirely.

Then, with another stripe, Shikamaru dove into your pussy. His tongue glided through your folds a few times, then right up the center to swirl around your sensitive clit. You could have screamed as he sucked gently against the bundle of nerves, until he released it to tongue your entrance again.

His name fell from your lips like a chant as your hands scratched at your own stomach, not wanting to fuck up his ponytail. Without wasting a second, Shikamaru reached back and pulled the elastic from his hair, letting it fall around his face like a curtain. You pulled his hair back, not wanting to miss a second of Shikamaru's face between your thighs.

A smile was evident on his lips as you tugged a little, and Shikamaru's tongue drifted up again to tease your clit. His fingers suddenly met your folds, now feeling cold in comparison to the fire that coursed through you. They dipped in, separating your folds in the slick of arousal and spit, only teasing your clenched entrance.

One finger pushed in, curling to stretch you out and hit that spot that only Shikamaru seemed to be able to hit. You cried out lewdly, invigorating Shikamaru as he began to pump his finger into you while he still abused your clit with his tongue. He added another finger, flicking them both against your gummy walls and bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Just as you could feel a rhythmic clench building, you chased the light of your orgasm. You looked at Shikamaru with lidded eyes as he devoured your pussy, sloshing sounds abundant in the room.

Then, he stopped.

"I knew you would do that!" You cried out, feeling the light fade from your grasp. Letting goes of his hair as he stood, you grimaced while Shikamaru smiled so very wickedly.

"Y'wanna cum on my face, or my cock?" He asked rhetorically.

You rolled your eyes, but Shikamaru was looking for you to use your words. He palmed himself over the green cotton, not giving you what you wanted until you stated it with your chest.

You groaned, "Your cock... please."

"That's my girl," Shikamaru grinned as he bunched the fabric of his waistband into either hand. 

Pleased and praised, you couldn't suppress the smile that took over your features. You shimmied up on the bed to give Shikamaru some room. He tugged off his trousers, massive cock smacking just beneath his navel once free.

Shikamaru's cock was a sight to behold, thick and perfectly veined. Your mouth-watered at the mere sight of it, the ache between your legs intensifying.

Taking the base of his cock into his hand, Shikamaru pumped a single languid stroke up his length. Precum gathered at his tip, making his slit glisten in your apartment light. Immediately, you sprung forward, repositioning yourself entirely to be at mouth-level with his cock.

"What's up, Buttercup?" He asked, stroking his dick again.

The precum accumulated so that a true drop formed. Before it could drip, you stuck out your tongue and caught it. Your tongue glided up Shikamaru's frenulum, then around his tip once, before you closed your lips around his head, sucking gently.

Knees buckling slightly, Shikamaru's hand came to the side of your head as he choked out, "You're not- hah- desperate for me, huh?"

You replaced your hand for the one Shikamaru had wrapped around his base, as you took more of his cock in your mouth. Pumping what could never fit down your throat, you bobbed your head, almost like you were nodding. You looked up at Shikamaru to gauge a reaction, and he was smiling down at you broadly, looking so relaxed.

"You're such a slut for me, aren't you, darling?" He asked, pushing his hips forward a tad. This time, you really did nod as you sucked up the length of his cock. Shikamaru tugged on your hair a little, and chuckled, "You're my perfect woman. All mine, aren't you?"

As you hummed against his cock, Shikamaru groaned lowly. His hips began to move on this own, pushing his cock against the back of your throat more harshly. You didn't mind - Shikamaru was always very considerate about his size.

"Fuck, darling, your mouth is so soft." Despite how lost in the moment he sounded, Shikamaru pulled out of your mouth with a shutter. 

You continued to stroke him as he drew onto the bed, and until he pushed you back against the pillows. Shikamaru slid between your legs and lowered himself to you immediately, capturing your lips with his again.

On his tongue, you could taste your bitterness, and you groaned, feeling how wet his chin and nose still were. Shikamaru's cock fell between your folds, and he pushed his hips up, grinding against your bare pussy with his twitching dick. You whimpered, broken pleas falling from your mouth between kisses.

Finally, as if he couldn't take it anymore, Shikamaru sat up. He lined his tip up with your tight hole and locked his eyes with yours as he slowly pushed in, grabbing your waist for leverage. You threw your head back when his tip was sucked in with a squelching sound.

"Holy fuck!" You yelled, feeling like you were getting split apart. Your hands flew to his thighs, scratching and squeezing as you throbbed around him.

Continuing to push in, Shikamaru groaned, "I know, darling, I'm sorry."

"Don't- ah! - be sorry," you cried, feeling like he was almost in. You could feel a pressure on your lower stomach as he neared your cervix. Shikamaru finally bottomed out, and stilled, giving you a second. You didn't want the second, immediately begging, "Fuck me! Fuck me, Shikamaru! Please!"

A string of curses fell from Shikamaru's lips as his grip on your waist tightened. He pulled back a little and then slammed his hips back into you, watching to see if you'd take back your words.

You didn't, only whimpering at the feeling.

That was enough for Shikamaru to take your command for what it was. He pulled back again, this time almost to his head, then thrusted into you deeply. You moaned salaciously as he picked up a very passionate pace, hitting that sweet spot every single time.

A very moist pap, pap, pap sound began to fill the room, your slick already dripping from you and pooling beneath you. Soft grunts and groans fell him Shikamaru's lips, adding to the symphony already at work. Your grip on his thighs tightened, and the crescent-moons of your nails dug into his bulging muscle.

You bounced against the bed, being pushed and pulled by his hands, and reacting to the slamming of his hips. Shikamaru's left hand came to your tit, squeezing the tissue roughly as he plowed into you. A near pornographic sound came from you as he started to tease your nipple again, which only made him that much more zealous.

"Your pussy is fucking amazing," he groaned, pulling at the sensitive bud lightly. Still, it sent shocks through your body, making you feel so warm and tingly. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet for me."

"Only you," you managed to choke out between moans and groans. "Only you, Shika-aaa-maru. Only you."

"You're fucking right, only me." Shikamaru's pace picked up and he leaned over you, putting the hand that was attached to your waist beside your head. Your hands sprung to his back, scratching lightly, a slight pain lingering. He continued to tease your nipple as he asked, "Can anyone else make you feel this good?" You shook your head, a scream bubbling in your throat at the quickened pace. Shikamaru thrust into you firmly, and stayed bottomed out, reminding you, "With words, pretty girl."

"Fuck, no! No, no one! Just you, only you," you gasped.

That was the right answer, because Shikamaru started moving again. Clutching the rippling muscles of his back, you bit onto his shoulder as he continued to pound you mercilessly. His name was the only thing on your mind, so you barely even heard the 'I love you' as it slipped from your vocal cords.

Muffled as it was, Shikamaru heard you.

He kissed you again but slowed his pace considerably. His tongue slipped into your mouth, inviting yours to dance so gently, as his hips met yours in quite the juxtaposition. 

Deeply, you hummed against his lips, and Shikamaru swallowed up every moan that came from you. Slowly, but surely, his pace quickened again, in even more frenzied thrusts. The rhythm was much stronger but started to get unruly.

Pulling up and away from you swiftly, the hand that was playing with your nipple slid down your abdomen, tickling you slightly. Shikamaru's fingers found your clit, rubbing small circles in time with his thrusts.

"Just like that," you purred, pleasure overtaking all your senses. "Fuck- yes- I'm so close."

Heeding you, Shikamaru changed nothing about his pace or position. You were right on the edge, and he was bringing you closer, and closer, and closer-

"Fuck, I love you," he groaned as you came, squeezing around his cock. 

Your heart jumped to your throat, but the fog of your orgasm quelled your worries in an instant. You spasmed wildly around him, milking his cock and, to his credit, Shikamaru continued without so much as a stutter, not taking his fingers off your clit until you had ridden out your entire high.

Then the true sensitivity set in.

"Ah! Fuck! Shikamaru, oh my stars, holy fuck!" You cried out, starting to squirm. 

Taking his fingers from your clit, Shikamaru gripped the other side of your waist and pummeled into your pussy a few more times before he slid out quickly. He took his cock in his hand and pumped it twice before pearly cum began to paint your stomach and tits.

He groaned as the ropes shot onto you, dick twitching with every release. You smiled broadly, swiping a finger through the pool atop your belly button. The pearlescent coating dripped down your finger as you brought it to your mouth. Shikamaru's eyelids fluttered closed as he watched you take the finger into your mouth and sigh with the taste.

"Fuck, were you in the Land of Fruit, because- stars, you're yummy," you chuckled, swiping up a much larger glob of Shikamaru's spend. 

"Oh, shush, you jester," he chortled as he got off your bed.

Shikamaru drew to the bathroom a step away while you took a breath and appreciated the sweet-bitterness of his cum. The music had gone quiet long ago, the record needing to be flipped to the B-side. Shikamaru came out a second later, holding a roll of toilet paper as you continued to suck on your fingers.

"I don't jest - you should've cum on my face." When Shikamaru extended a folded-up portion of toilet paper, you scrunched up your nose and took up another portion to drink up. "What? I'm busy," you said. Shikamaru just rolled his eyes, still smiling as he leaned forward to clean you off, himself. You sighed, "Man, that's mine, what are you doing?"

"Gods above, you're nasty," he laughed, throwing a cum-soaked wad of paper away and tearing off another few squares to clean himself off.

"Nasty for you," you grinned. "Eh, loverboy? Can't be upset with that, can you?"

"You are so in love with me," he bit back.

You nodded, smiling broadly as you threw open your arms. "Yeah, and so are you. Stop being a prick and cuddle me."

[4sturns]

H(ATE) YOU

enemy!chris s. x fem!reader

genre: smut

synopsis: you and chris do not get along. the both of you do the most to irk the other. but what happens when he has you under him, naked and moaning his name?

warnings: smut, pwp, oral (reader receiving), enemies to ???, hair pulling, empty threats (reader's a little violent), marking, chris is a masochist, dacryphila

a/n: y'all want a part two with messy, nasty, disgusting hate sex or nah ... also i had to rewrite literally half of this fic because tumblr crashed on me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

if you were smart you wouldn't be here right now. you'd still be downstairs and enjoying the party just like everyone else. except you're not downstairs, instead you're upstairs in chris' bedroom, completely nude from the waist up and severely worked up.

you're unsure how you even got yourself into this situation. one second you were downstairs by the punch bowl, and the next you were dragged up the stairs and into his bedroom. maybe you shouldn't have provoked him.

chris hovers over you, his shirt discarded on the floor with yours. his breath is hot against your skin, his tongue licking at the sweet spot right under your ear. quiet moans leave your mouth at his motions causing him to smirk against you.

"keep smirking and i'll cut your dick off, sturniolo." you hiss at the boy. all he does in return is suck on your sweet spot, his teeth nibbling at the skin before pulling back to admire his work. a slightly red mark is left behind, though chris is sure it'll be blooming purple and yellow by the time he's done with you.

"maybe you should give my dick a try before saying such things, baby." chris sneers as he lowers his hands from your waist down to your clothed hips. his fingers hook around the belt loops of your jeans before he starts to slowly tug them down, his eyes fixated on yours.

"move faster or i'll do it myself." you throw your head back onto the pillow, breaking eye contact. you're tired of his teasing. you debate whether or not this is worth the fact you're missing out on the party downstairs, but your curiosity gets the better of you, making you stay put in chris' bedroom, your fate left completely in his hands.

"calm down, mamas. i'll give you what you want once you learn to tame that tongue of yours," chris finally gets your jeans off and haphazardly tosses them to the floor. "or you can use that tongue elsewhere." chris smirks.

"shut the fuck up." you snap back quickly.

you're left in your black lace panties which match your bra. your head comes back up to look chris in the eyes right as his teeth take a hold of the waistband of your panties, tugging them down and off of you at an agonizingly slow pace.

"holy shit, chris." you moan at the sight, noticing how much darker chris' eyes have gotten compared to the start of the night.

you can feel his breath against your skin, causing goosebumps to form in its trail. despite the obvious effect chris has on you, you refuse to let your guard down. you refuse to stroke chris sturniolo's ego. but you wouldn't really mind stroking his dick.

chris rids of your underwear, leaning back to place his feet back on the ground before reaching to undo his belt. he watches you as you watch his every move, as if you were daring him to keep going. and he's not one to back down from a dare.

"get your dick out before i cut it off, asshole." you spit through gritted teeth. although you know you don't mean it and chris does too. regardless, he quickens his movements, letting his pants fall to his ankles, revealing his boxers. they feel and look tight against him as his hard cock takes up any extra space. you'd never admit it to his face, but he seems quite big based off the imprint in his boxers.

he confirms this when he releases his throbbing member from the confines of his underwear, hissing when the hot tip touches the cold air. he's leaking from his tip already, presumably from the never broken eye contact he still holds with you.

when chris leans back down to get level with you on the bed, you can feel the temperature in the room start to rise. even if you won't admit it out loud, chris has already done a number on your body. he has barely done anything yet you're worked up beyond words and dripping onto his sheets.

"and for that you're not getting my dick," chris snickers, opting to slide lower onto the bed to settle between your thighs. you open your legs to him without protest, an action which makes chris break out into a smug smile and causing you to let out a huff before finally break eye contact to look at the ceiling.

"aren't you just eager, you pretty thing." chris mocks you, and you can only assume he noticed the wet spot on his sheets.

"i'll kick that look off your stupid face if you keep testing me. i'm dead serious, chris." with this, chris puts his hands up quickly in a mock surrender, something you only get a quick glimpse of before his hands settle back onto your thighs, gripping them firmly and pulling you closer to his mouth.

your heartbeat speeds up rapidly, beating so loud you're afraid chris can hear it. all you want to feel right now is his tongue on you, working at your folds and bringing you to that climax you need so badly.

an embarrassingly loud moan leaves your mouth as chris licks a long stripe up your folds, collecting your arousal. at this he hums, savoring the way you taste before his eyes find yours.

there's a difference between his eyes and yours. his are dark and pointed, while yours are a pure reflection of him. it's clear in your eyes that all you want is him. and he's gonna make you admit it tonight whether you like it or not.

he continues to work his tongue in and out of you, alternating between fucking you open with his tongue and kitten licking at your swollen clit.

a sneaky hand makes it way from your thigh to your entrance, two fingers collecting your slick before plunging into you.

"chris— fuck! just like that, keep going." you're whimpering as you squirm against chris' tongue, and all he can do is hum against you in response as your hands come down to pull harshly at his hair.

your thighs start to tremble in chris' grip. his fingers are working quickly inside of you, scissoring you open before angling them and curling right at your sweet spot. with every drag of his fingers combined with the feeling of his mouth sucking on your swollen clit, you know you won't last long.

you're holding back tears as you feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten. the grip on chris' hair tightens too, causing a muffled whine to vibrate against your clit. you buck your hips up as a long cry leaves your body.

"oh my god, chris, keep going. please don't stop, don't fucking stop— holy shit!" tears cascade down your face as your thighs begin to uncontrollably shake against chris.

chris takes a quick look at your face, noticing the river of tears. his eyes nearly roll into the back of his head as he works faster and harder. his fingers plunge in and out of you so violently that the wet sound of your arousal fills up the room along with your choked cries.

your grip on his hair only seems to get inhumanly stronger, causing him to let out more muffled whimpers and moans against your body. call him a masochist but he'll never get tired of the way you grip, tug, and pull at his hair. he'll always eat it up. chris feels his cock twitch, and he knows he's in deep shit.

it's not long before he starts to imagine what you'd look like crying on his dick, all pathetic and weak while you sob and cry for more.

with a choked sob and a vice grip on chris' hair, the coil in your stomach snaps. a wide variety of curses, cries, and incoherent sentences including chris' name leaves your body as you lose complete control of it.

you're violating shaking against the sheets as chris continues to finger fuck you through your high. loud whines come out from your gaping mouth and fill up the room. chris' mouth has left your heat a while ago, but with the grip you still have on his hair, he reminds in his place.

with a rather sharp pull of his hair, he lets out a strained, almost pornographic moan as his eyes flutter shut.

you immediately let go of his hair, using the little strength you've gained back from your intense orgasm to prop yourself up and into a sitting position. you inch forward, trying to get closer to the edge of the bed where chris sways in a trance.

from your view, you spot a small puddle on the floor. a cruel and mean smile reaches your face as you watch chris' thighs flex every so often. reaching forward, you quickly return your hand to chris' hair, tugging and pulling at it violently making him hiss and look up to meet your dark gaze.

"well, aren't you just eager, you pathetic little thing."

[forlix]

𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬・l.f.

— "if you smell the same as someone, you'll have some peace of mind."

words・1k pairing・felix x gn!reader genres・hurt/comfort, established relationship warnings・detailed descriptions of an anxiety episode

a/n・ inspired by this thing lix said in an ep of skz code and my favorite line from natsume souseki’s kokoro. i hope this can provide u with some solace; love u

When you slip into your side of the bed, Felix feels a touch of cool air from the duvet being lifted off the mattress, but it’s quickly nullified by your body’s warm pressure against his as you tuck yourself into his side. He looks at you, shrouded in one of his old hoodies, glasses halfway down the bridge of your nose, one hand patting down the blanket around your legs and the other holding your phone to your face as you scan over a text.

This is far from the first time you’ve spent the night at his place, and even further from the first time his anxiety has made itself known beyond just its ceaseless simmering beneath his skin. Yet, it is the first time the two events have happened in simultaneity, and he finds himself wondering if he should tell you about the unmistakable tightness pulling at his ribs or the winding coil waiting to snap behind his eyes.

An answer follows as quickly as the question surfaces, though. You haven’t been dating long, but in only three days short of six months Felix has learned that he could cut his heart open over your hands and you’d still find a way not to spill a drop of his blood. That is the extent to which your love makes him feel safe, secure, sacred; the extent to which he believes in your ability to protect his soul, even when it isn’t something unseen and external bombarding his defenses but the most familiar enemy of all. One that bears his name and wears his face.

“Baby,” Felix says, and your fingers still over your screen. As does your heart, when you see his quivering lips and unblinking eyes.

Your phone falls upon the blanket with a soft thud.

Scrawled all over the lines of your face is the worry that Felix was so reluctant to cause, but the way your eyes soften as you look at him now is a perfect replica of how they did that time you took him stargazing on the roof of your apartment building, and breathing becomes marginally easier right away.

“What’s happening?” You whisper, your fingers swift but so careful as they find and slide over his wrist. “How can I help, angel?”

Shakily, blindly, Felix’s hand chases yours under the sheets, and your palms have hardly touched before you’re completing his unspoken sentence. You lace your fingers with his, their pads fluttering against the back of his hand, and this gives him the strength to utter, to plead—

“Hold me?”

Your free hand moves to graze the curve of his cheekbone, then to hold his nape. Then, with a flourish of movement that Felix hardly registers, you lift yourself to straddle his lap and tighten your arm where it curls around his neck, drawing him so gently into your embrace that he can all but evanesce against you.

Time ceases to exist. What proceeds is simply warmth: your hands and mouth pressing life back into his body with every sweep through his hair and “I’ve got you” upon his ear; his face gone in the cluster of fabric that marks the beginning of your hood, his hand pushing beneath the heavy cotton to seek out your bare back, his breaths timed to the quiet heartbeat he finds there.

The two of you spend what feels like multiple lifetimes locked together in this fashion.

It is somewhere towards the end of life number three that Felix realizes, dimly, arbitrarily, that you don’t smell like anything.

You’ve always come with something, be it the aromatic remnants of your childhood home that you’ve never quite outgrown, the fragrance you always dab behind your ears before leaving the house, or the telltale shampoo-conditioner combination you’ve been using for years. But right now, there is no discernible scent attached to your skin or your clothes; no olfactory indications of your person, your presence.

This surprises Felix so thoroughly that it seals his windpipe closed for a few seconds. It’s as if he’s lost something he never realized was precious until only after it’s slipped from his grasp, and the notion nearly sends him on a new spiral entirely, nearly undoes the progress that you’ve so tenderly helped him make since settling upon his thighs.

But then you shift, and, in a manner reminiscent of brushing thick, tangled vines out of the way to read an ancient stone plaque, Felix skims the tip of his nose over the hollow of your throat, and it is there that he finds the subtle scents of you that he thought he’d forfeited. And his next realization not only pries his lungs open again but brings a much-needed rush of oxygen back into them.

It is his bodywash that you used in the shower and his garment that you slipped into right after drying off. It is his blanket that you’re currently folded together in and his dormitory that you’ve carried a spare key to for weeks now. It's his hands and lips that dote constantly on your neck and waist and shoulders and anywhere they can reach like poppies vying for homes in cracked cement.

It’s not that you don’t smell like anything. It’s that you smell like him. 

Like us.

Felix knows well that anxiety is too fickle a creature to ever leave for good, but when this thought occurs to him he senses the foul apparition waver for once.

He starts to unravel himself from you after life number seven, and you expel your relief in the form of a sigh when you pull away and see the faint smile on your boyfriend's face; sense the stable in, out of the chest your hands rest upon.

The puff of air is quickly sucked back in, though, when Felix presses his lips to the underside of your jaw; to the point of your chin; to the apple of your cheek; and, at last, directly to yours. The kiss begins tense and unmoving, still riddled with the tonnage of his burden, but then his hand cradles your face with all the ardor of thank you, and his tears taste like the words I love you when they land on your tongue.

And it is perfect, as is he.

🔖 (send an ask or reply to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · all works are pieces of original writing and all characters and relationships are purely fictional. please do not repost or reuse for any reason.

[mochinomnoms]

What do you think would happen if Floyd were to meet Riddle's mother?! Cuz I just read your Mama/Papa leech Headcanons about meeting their sons crush. But what if it’s reversed? Riddle's mother Meeting Floyd? (I would also say Yuu's parents meeting Jade, but unfortunately, that won't be happening)

“Wow, I thought Lil Goldfishie was a stick in the mud, his mama has a whole branch up her—” *gets kicked in the groin*

I have very mixed feelings about Riddle's mother, in that with the context we have right now she's a bitch and if I ever see her it's on motherfucking sight. But she must love her son still, right? Is she harsh because he wants to set Riddle up for success, but only knows the way she was raised? Is she scared of her kid getting hurt or failing, and so she tries to shield him from all possible harm? Is she so hyperaware of all the dangers in society that she feels the need to keep him in a little bubble, knowing in the back of her mind that making mistakes and getting hurt is part of growing up? A good mother would never want to see their child ever get hurt if it were up to them. I mean, she must care for him in some way, but how? In the manga or novel (not sure which) they mention that she fought back against the school to keep him in, but was that because she wanted him to have the prestige of NRC in his background or because she wants what's best for him? She homeschooled him herself to the point that he's an immensely powerful mage already as a teen, so she could've hypothetically kept doing the same thing, right? Is she a mother that truly cares for her son but suffered the same childhood, but she “turned out fine” so it must be fine? Or is she just a bitch, lol. Either way, she is emotionally and affectionately neglectful and doesn't realize it at best, and emotionally and psychologically abusive at worst.

I have a lot to say on the topic of Mrs. Rosehearts, about her parenting, the cultural differences of child-rearing that EN players and JP players might have. This post talks about it in depth, but I can say more on the topic later.

In regards to Floyd meeting Mrs. Rosehearts, probably against Riddle's wishes or while he's distracted, the poor guy is set up for disappointment. While it's implied that Mama Leech is overprotective and that she calls very often, if not daily, to check in on her sons, they still had enough freedom growing up to get into shenanigans and hijinks. I mean, they beat up a sturgeon and took some of its scales to fashion into earrings like a trophy. And they both speak very fondly of her, so Floyd is going into meeting Mrs. Rosehearts with the expectation that she might be a bit stuffy. But, she raised Riddle, his crush and favorite human! He's strict and mean at times, but he cares a lot for his dorm and is super diligent, she must be like that too!

But she's so…critical. She looks at him unamused, very standoffish, but is polite. He guesses. He can see where Riddle got his strictness from.

“Hello. Who might you be?” She probably didn't expect to have some random student, not even from her son's dorm, come up to her. He was...tall. Towered over her, and based on the color of his hair and sharp teeth, most likely wasn't human.

“Huh, you're not as red as my Lil Goldfishie is.”

She blinked and frowned, resisting the urge to chastise the strange fellow for his informal tone and rube behavior. Not her son, not her problem.

“Pardon? Do you often speak to your elders like this?” she asked, eyeing him as she turned away to watch her son give orders to his dorm as they managed an informational booth.

“Yeah, why not? They're just people. Not like I'm being rude or anything” She would strongly disagree. “You're kinda prickly, like a lionfish.”

“W-what?” She changed her mind, someone needs to put him in her place. “Now listen here, young man, it's quite rude to call people anything other than their na—”

“They're real mean, ya know. Venomous, a nuisance, can't even mess with it cause it has a bunch of spines—oh! Imma call you Mama Lionfish.” The young man snapped his left fingers like he made a revelation.

Mrs. Rosehearts had learned to control her temper, but she still had her moments, Her face been bright red, her lips thinned, and she opened her mouth to start berating the young man.

“Floyd Leech! What did I tell you about calling people names?” A tall, slender women came up to them, pale skin and hair hue similar to the man in front of her. She wore a cream-colored dress and matching blazer, adorned with gold and pearls, and a matching wide brimmed hat. She was followed by Riddle, who looked a mix of anger and concern.

“Never do it in front of people, yeah, yeah.” The man named Floyd pouted, but brightened at the sight of Riddle. “Oh hey Lil Goldfishie! What's uuuup?”

Floyd jogged over to Riddle, halting him midstep as Mrs. Rosehearts noticed Riddle almost bristle, trying to sidestep and get around Floyd. He was failing.

“I apologize, you know how boys can be!” The woman in front of her also towered over her, though not nearly as much as her son did. “My Floyd doesn't mean anything by it, he just a silly boy.”

The blue haired woman laughed, then abruptly stopped, narrowing her golden gaze as she thinly smiled.

“You're the man's mother, I assume.” Mrs. Rosehearts replied, smoothing out her skirt and clutching her hands together. “He's very...spirited. He's from the Leech family? Is it safe to assume that your the Leech family matriarch?”

The other woman's sharp toothed smile grew as she nodded. “Yes. It's not often that I come to the surface. But it's wonderful to know that I'm as—oh—well-known, on the surface, as under the sea.”

Mrs. Rosehearts wouldn't use the word 'well-known' as much as she would infamous.

“Yes, well. I would just remind your son to not so blatantly call people names to their faces.” she said, clenching and unclenching her fist in an attempt to sooth herself. “I'm not sure what your customs are under the sea, but up here he would be considered a riffraff.”

For all her talk about politeness, Mrs. Rosehearts forgot herself at time and let things slip out of her mouth faster than she processed. She knew she pressed a button when Mrs. Leech's smile disappeared.

It was only for a moment, but with the blank face and the way her gold eyes bore into her, it felt like her body and soul were being grasped by something dark and violent.

Then that feeling was gone as Mrs. Leech smiled again and closed her eyes, tilting her head.

“He'll be fine, I'm sure he'll find his people. After all, it seems he's already found someone in your son.”

Both women moved their gazes to the pair, now bickering. Well, Riddle was, the one called Floyd, was just swaying on his heels as he grinned and make a comment here and there. Each one after the other seemed to fluster her son further, his cheeks growing in color as they spoke. Most people who knew her son would assume that the red was attributed to his rage, and it mostly was. But (fortunately or unfortunately, she couldn't decide) her son was much like her. It wasn't rage that made his eyes dart away each time their eyes met for too long. It wasn't rage that made him scuff his foot every so often. And it most certainly wasn't rage in his eyes.

Mrs. Rosehearts cleared her throat, turning away from Mrs. Leech and walking to her son.

“I don't know what you're implying, but I must be going now. My son and I still need to tour his dorm.”

Mrs. Leech watched the other woman walk away, sighing.

“Oh, what a disdainful woman. And her son is so lovely too…she really is like a lionfish.”

“Yeah, it's a good nickname for her, right Mama?” Floyd came bounding over, stretching his arms. “Is' too bad she's a stuck-up, gonna real annoying if she's my mother-in-law.”

“Hm, I'll just have to overcompensate then and be the best Mama for you and the little Riddle!” Mama Leech clapped her hands excitedly, sighing in bliss at the thought.

“Oh, it will be so wonderful to see the family grow big...oh! By the way, Floyd.” Mama Leech walked away, Floyd following after diligently. “I might have mentioned a little 'something' to him about your cute rambles about him. He was so cute, all red and flushed when I said you're positively infatuated, calling him cute and—”

“Aw what! Mama!”

[otterneuvillette]

✧ WE'RE HERE FOR YOU ! ✧

⋆🌼🃏— Pairings: tighnari x gn! reader x cyno (can be read as platonic or romantic, pick your poison :0)

⋆🌼🃏— Sypnosis: You have been targeted by a group of Eremites for unknown reasons, so for your safety and the sake of their worries, you have been staying with Gandharva Ville. Here's how your life has become since then.

⋆🌼🃏— content: gn! reader, mentions of injury and just fluffy with light angst.

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It happened all so suddenly.

You were a Rtawahist researcher, one of the best of your years. You went on an expedition to the desert with a team of adventurers to research the sudden change of movement of the stars.

Along the way, you and your team had a couple of gnarly encounters with the same group of Eremites, which was weird, why are they so intent to capture your group? As far as you know, none of you had offended them or made them feel threatened.

Until they finally captured you while the others were sleeping.

"Come on, give us your research papers and your Mora, and we won't hurt your pretty little head, yeah?" One of them spoke with a gruff voice.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

"Archons! Why do you need my research paper so badly?! Like I understand if you wanted just my Mora, but my research papers??" You exclaimed.

"We don't have to give you our reasons, brat."

They stood up and stabbed the dagger they were holding into a crate next to you.

Thump.

"Just give us the damn papers before things get ugly, you hear me?!"

You shook your head stubbornly.

"No! I worked hard on those, I will not let you have it!" You yelled.

They let out a sound of annoyance.

"Fine, I'll just do this the hard way then." They lifted the dagger up again, it's chilling glint underneath the desert moon made you shiver.

But you'd rather die than let them have it.

You closed your eyes, preparing for a moment of pain that never came.

A groan of pain echoed in your ears, and the sound of cold metal clashing made you open your eyes.

Sliver hair filled your vision along with flashes of purple lightning. You were dazed by its familiarity as a thought crossed your mind.

Cyno.

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That was a week ago.

Cyno told you that your expedition had lasted an extra week than you wrote in your letters. He went looking for you out of concern, and he had found your team and they told him that you disappeared overnight and that the group of Eremites that were terrorizing you and them.

You thanked him with dinner and a couple of rounds of TCG, which you lost, miserably.

And you managed to hand over your research papers to your professor before the deadline.

A win-win situation one might think, right?

Wrong.

Because when you get home from running some errands—

—most of your house was burned down.

All your equipment, your research books are half burned into a crisp.

You felt yourself holding back a scream.

No, this is not the time for an emotional breakdown. You ran inside what's left of your home, as you took whatever you could save in it.

Photo albums, important documents, your boxes of trinkets, anything.

You groaned softly as you cursed yourself for getting a place further out in the city in the first place.

By the sevens, who could be this cruel to do this?!

After a couple of hours, you salvaged quite some stuff. But you were glad that the box was unscathed from the fire, it held all of your precious trinkets that you kept growing up. Everything that they had given you.

You dragged your stuff into a cart that you kept in your yard and headed towards the city. Along the way, you passed by a certain blonde haired traveller who helped you with your other stuff that you hadn't managed to fit into the cart.

When you arrived, you managed to get yourself a place to stay for a while. And without wasting any time, you reported what happened to the Matra. They told you that they will open an investigation as soon as possible. You thanked them as you went back to the place you were staying.

Moments later, you heard a knock on the door, and you opened to find a worried Tighnari and also a serious-looking Cyno.

"Hey, we heard what happened, are you okay?" Tighnari asked you, his ears twitching slightly.

You nodded quietly, too tired to give him a proper response.

"I have some leads to who's the culprit that burnt down your house." Cyno said sternly.

You looked up, curious to hear his answer.

"The group of Eremites that terrorized your team a week ago might have been the ones that did it." He said.

You sighed defeatedly.

"Honestly, I was dreading that. Archons, I have no idea why they are coming for me and my work." You sighed, slumping on the bed.

Tighnari approached you and placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

"You should lay low for now. I suggest you find a safer place to stay, they may still be on the lookout for you." Cyno said softly, feeling quite sympathetic for you.

"You could stay with me? I'm sure Collei would be happy to see you again..?" Tighnari offered. His tail swished gently,as he looked at you with concern.

"I agree with Tighnari, you'll be safer staying with him." Cyno nodded.

"Meanwhile, I'll lead the investigation, I'll make sure the culprit will get the judgment they deserve." He added.

"Fine, I'll stay with 'nari. But only, until I repair my house." You said, sighing.

Both of them nodded in agreement, as you stood up to follow them to Gandharva Ville.

"Let me help you with your cart," Tighnari said, already holding on to it.

You thanked him, while Cyno informed the nearby Matra to gather information about the incident.

You hoped that this matter would be over soon.

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It's been a few weeks since then, whoever did the crime was insanely good at keeping their tracks clean, it even had the General Mahamatra stumped.

Yet, both Tighnari and Cyno did their best to help you take your mind off it, they didn't want to see you stress yourself sick.

You'd just been in your room, minding your own business, when you started to hear voices coming from the living room of Tighnari's house. You decided to go out to the living room to check out what was going on.

"Well, you see, it's funny because-" Cyno seemed to be explaining some dumb joke.

"Oh, archons! Stop with the terrible jokes already!" Tighnari groaned, but his ears perked up when he saw you enter the room. "Make him stop, please!"

"Cyno....please behave?" You whispered quietly, clearly exhausted from the house repairs the day before.

Cyno's playfully pouted, but he sighed and gave in to your gentle request.

"I suppose I can behave myself. For now, at least."

He smiles at you affectionately and then turns his gaze to Tighnari, whose eyebrows were furrowed.

"What's with that face, 'nari? Are you having a headache again?" You said worriedly, hastily approaching where he was sitting.

Tighnari nods slightly, a small frown appearing on his face. "Yes. It's been a long day. The headache seems to be getting worse every day. Archons, I wish they'd go away." He sighs quietly, his ear flicking down in displeasure as you move closer to him.

"Hmm....maybe you should take a break... I'll talk with the other rangers, Let me help you with the patrols for the week." You immediately offered, without even a stutter or hesitation.

Tighnari blinks his eyes in surprise at your eagerness to help. He shakes his head slightly, a small smile appearing on his face. A soft, affectionate gaze wanders over your face.

"No, no. I'll be alright. You know I'm tougher than I look," he tries to protest, but you can tell from his expression how much your offer means to him.

Cyno steps forward and places a hand on Tighnari's shoulder. "Come on, Tighnari. Take a break for once."

"See? Even the General Mahamatra agrees with me. So, just sit tight and rest. Let me handle the rest."

Tighnari sighs and looks up at you then at Cyno, then sighs again, giving in. A slight smile forms on his face as he looks back at you, clearly relieved.

"Alright, alright. I suppose I can take a few days off. But you better not overwork yourself," he relents, his tail flicking slightly.

Cyno smiles and nods affirmatively. "That's better. You look like you haven't slept in days," he comments as his hands gently brush back Tighnari's hair to examine his face.

"I promise I won't overwork myself. I can handle the patrols for a few days. Don't worry, 'nari. I'll be fine," You reassure him, offering a comforting smile.

Tighnari lets out a quiet sigh and closes his eyes, clearly exhausted, his ears slumping down a little.

"Alright, alright. I trust you. Just..." He reaches out and takes your hand, squeezing it gently. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Cyno watches the scene with a fond smile and adds. "Yeah, don't do anything reckless. We both know how you get when you don't take proper breaks."

"It's not really that bad, guys! I promise." You whined playfully, before patting Tighnari's shoulder.

"Let me go make you some herbal tea. I've acquired some new medicinal tea from Liyue from my pen pal." You said excitedly.

Tighnari smiles faintly as you pat his shoulder, his ears twitching slightly in appreciation.

"Thank you. That would be very helpful," he says quietly, clearly grateful for your offer.

Cyno, meanwhile, gives you a slightly teasing smile. "Yeah, sure. And maybe don't forget to take care of yourself, okay? We don't want you getting sick, too. You're not immune to everything either," he adds, his tone playful and affectionate.

"Says you, Mr. "Oh no, I have fallen ill because I refuse to wear proper clothing during cold desert nights!" Seriously, Cyno. You should let me knit you a blanket or something." You huffed as you started brewing the tea, filling the small space with a light jasmine scent.

Cyno groans quietly, a little embarrassed that you've brought up the incident again. His arms crossed defensively, but he can't help but chuckle.

"I'm fine with my clothes, thank you very much," he responds, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "Besides, I like the feel of the desert air against my skin. Even the cold is refreshing." Tighnari, meanwhile, chuckles softly at the exchange, his ears perking up in amusement.

He raises an eyebrow at Cyno, his tone lighthearted.

"You're always insisting that your immune to everything, but look at you. You're just as susceptible as the rest of us," he points out, a fond smile on his face.

Cyno sighs and chuckles, unable to argue with that.

"Fine, fine. I see your point. But... I still enjoy the cold air."

You chuckled, shaking your head.

"Sit down, Cyno. I'm bringing the tea over." You called out.

Cyno sighs and obeys, flopping down on the couch next to Tighnari. His lips curled as he heard your lighthearted chuckle.

"I guess you're right," he admits, leaning back on the couch and stretching his arms. "But I'll still take my chances with the desert air. As long as you brew me some tea to help me when I get sick." Tighnari glances over at you, amusement is evident in his expression.

"The things I'd do for the both of you."

Cyno chuckles, a fond smile spreading across his face.

"And we appreciate it. We really do," he reassures you.

Tighnari nods in agreement, his expression softening. "You always take such good care of us, even when we're too stubborn to admit it," he adds, his tail flicking gently against the couch.

Cyno glances at Tighnari, then back at you, a grin spreading on his face.

"Yeah, you're practically a miracle worker. Always knowing when we need a helping hand, even when we're too proud to ask for it."

Tighnari laughs quietly and nods in agreement. "We're lucky to have you around. Who else would put up with our nonsense?"

"You're being too sweet, just drink the tea already!" You said softly, flushing slightly.

They both chuckled at your reaction.

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"This is delicious. You've outdone yourself this time," Cyno compliments you.

Tighnari nods in agreement, his expression softening as he takes a sip. "Yes, it's so soothing. You're quite a talented herbal tea brewer."

"Thanks, I'm just gonna leave you two to it. I have an appointment with Kaveh soon, so I need to prepare some supplies."

Cyno raises an eyebrow, a teasing smirk spreading across his face.

"Kaveh, huh? What are you two getting up to?"

He takes another sip of tea, his tone lighthearted and playful.

"It's not what you think. I'm just going over my house plans with him. I'm repairing my house because a part of it got burned down, remember? The arson case a few weeks ago? The reason why I've been staying with Tighnari since then?"

Cyno's teasing expression quickly turns to one of concern.

"Right, of course. My apologies for teasing. I remember that case. How's the repairs going?" he asks you.

Tighnari nods in agreement and his ears perk up slightly as well. "Yeah, I hope you're not having too much trouble with the rebuilding," he adds, a hint of worry evident in his voice.

"Well, between having to acquire materials and trying to not break my back fixing it, I'd say it's going smoothly."

"I just hope that my savings are enough to cover for it. The prices of materials are insane." You sighed.

"But Kaveh has been helping out with finding affordable yet quality materials, so I think the repair would go as smoothly as I hope it to be," You reassured.

Cyno nods gently, relief is evident in his expression.

"Sounds like you're in good hands. Kaveh always has a knack for finding good deals. And as for your back, maybe you should take some breaks. Can't be overworking yourself with all this rebuilding," he teases lightly, a gentle smirk on his face.

"I know, I know, thank the Seven, Alhaitham offered to help me with my work, even if I didn't want him to, I could have perfectly done it myself,"

Tighnari nods in agreement, his ears perking up.

"Well, Alhaitham is somewhat of a difficult person to get along with sometimes, but I can't deny that he's quite considerate and helpful if the situation calls for it. Maybe he just wanted to return the favor you extended to him when you helped him in his research." He pauses for a moment, his expression softening. "But you should still take care of yourself. Don't overwork yourself, okay?" He adds, giving you a gentle look.

"I will. I'm going to head out now, so I'll see you tonight, 'nari and you later, Cyno." You said softly and waved the two of them goodbye.

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As you leave Gandharva Ville to meet up with Kaveh, Cyno, and Tighnari continue to chat in the living room over tea. Cyno shares a few jokes with Tighnari, who rolls his eyes but secretly smiles at the playful banter.

As night falls, the house feels a little emptier without your presence. Despite their easy-going demeanors, Cyno and Tighnari can't help but feel a slight sense of worry and longing for your return.

When you finally return home, the apartment is quiet. Cyno and Tighnari are just lounging around the living room. When they hear you enter, they perk their ears up slightly and look over at you. A wave of relief washes over both of them, and they can't help but smile at the sight of you.

Cyno greets you cheerfully as usual, while Tighnari gives you a gentle smile and a tail flick.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to run away from some angry group of Fungi on my way here." You said, catching your breath.

Cyno raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued.

"Angry Fungi? Sounds like quite the adventure. How many were there?" He asks, a serious glint in his eyes.

"A whole group of five huge Fungi. " You answered him.

Tighnari's expression softens and his ears twitch slightly. "Are you alright? Did you get hurt at all?"

You scratched your head bashfully, before looking at Tighnari.

"I might've....gotten a massive bruise on my back...."

Tighnari's expression immediately turns to one of concern upon hearing about your injury.

"Oh no... Let me see that bruise," he requests gently, taking a step closer to examine your back.

"I-I'm fine! I swear, 'nari!" You said hurriedly. taking a couple steps back.

"One of the Fungi headbutted me from the back while I was busy dodging the other ones."

Cyno raises an eyebrow at your insistence that you're fine.

"Headbutted, huh? You should be more careful. We can't afford to have you getting injured. Especially when we're not around to look after you," he remarks, his expression serious for a moment before his usual smile returns.

Tighnari's ears twitch, his concern still evident. "Regardless, let me just take a quick look to ease my worry," he insists gently.

"Fine, fine, just let me change into looser clothing first." You muttered.

Cyno nods in agreement, acknowledging your need for comfort.

"Alright, take your time. We'll be here when you're ready," he reassures you, his ear flicking a little. Tighnari gives you a reassuring smile and nods as well. "Yeah, no need to rush. Just take the time you need to change and then we can check your back. We want to make sure you're alright."

You quickly changed, and soon, Tighnari carefully guided you to the couch.

"How is it? Is it really bad?"

Tighnari examines your back, his fingers gently ghosting over the massive bruise that has formed there.

He winces slightly when he sees the extent of the injury but tries to maintain a calm demeanor. "It's a large bruise. You're going to have to take it easy for a few days to avoid aggravating it. I'll prepare some herbs to make a salve that can help speed up the healing process a little. In the meantime, try to avoid any unnecessary movement, okay?"

You sighed yet again. "I guess I have to postpone the repairs again....." You muttered under your breath.

Cyno overhears your muttered comment and his expression softens, sympathetic to your plight. He puts a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright. There's no rush. Your health comes first. We can figure out a way to handle the repairs later when you're feeling better."

Tighnari gives a nod of agreement and gently pats your back. "Yes, take it easy. Let us handle the repairs for now. You just focus on resting and getting better."

Cyno and Tighnari help you get comfortable on the couch, bringing you pillows and blankets to make sure you're as relaxed as possible.

Tighnari prepares a soothing salve to help reduce the pain and inflammation in your back, while Cyno grabs a cold pack from the freezer to press against the bruise.

They sit with you, keeping you company and making sure you're feeling alright. They chat with you softly, making lighthearted jokes and sharing stories to keep your mind off your pain.

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Eventually, Tighnari returns with the salve he prepared, and he carefully applies it to your back with gentle but firm movements.

As the salve works its magic, slowly reducing the pain and swelling, Cyno gives you a smile and speaks in a teasing tone.

"You know, maybe this is just what you needed. A little break to rest and relax. Maybe a few days off might not be so bad after all."

"But I was supposed to help you so you could take a break, 'nari!" You whined quietly, pouting.

Tighnari smiles at your pouting expression, amused by your stubbornness.

"I appreciate the thought, but sometimes life has other plans. Right now, the most important thing is for you to focus on recovering. Once you're back on your feet, you can help us all you want."

Cyno rolls his eyes playfully and adds in a joking tone. "Yeah, and speaking of being back on your feet, maybe you should try picking on smaller targets next time instead of those huge Fungi."

"It wasn't my fault they came on me in the first place, I don't even know why they were so irritated in the first place!"

Tighnari chuckles softly, trying to imagine you fending off a horde of angry Fungi.

"Fungi can be picky sometimes. And they tend to guard their territory fiercely. Perhaps you accidentally wandered into their turf without realizing it, and they took action accordingly."

"I was walking down the designated path to Gandharva Ville! The Fungi weren't there when I first passed by on my way to Sumeru City!!"

Cyno bursts out laughing upon hearing your playful defense.

"Ah, well, perhaps those particular Fungi took a sudden detour and decided to set up camp on your usual path without warning. Those mischievous creatures can be quite sneaky, you know," he teases.

"Whatever..." You groaned, voice muffled by your face planting into the pillow.

Tighnari grins at your reaction and gently pats your head.

"Don't be upset. We're just teasing. We know you did your best." He turns to look at Cyno, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "Cyno, why don't you make it up to them with one of your jokes? That'll surely lift their spirits."

"Please don't, can't you see I suffered enough? You guys are bullying me, I swear."

"Oh, don't worry, we're not bullies. We just believe in the healing power of laughter!" Cyno says proudly.

He takes a moment to think, then grins wider. "Hey, what do you call a snake with no legs?"

"What is it?" You groaned.

"An adder. Get it? Because it's a snake, and it has been 'added' without legs? Haha!" He laughs at his own joke, clearly pleased with himself. Tighnari hides a small chuckle with a cough. They both look at you, eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"I hate you guys...."

Cyno laughs even harder at your response, clearly enjoying your reaction to his terrible pun.

"Oh, come onnnn. Don't be like that. You know you love my sense of humor." He says with a smirk.

Tighnari can't help but smile at your groaning. He reaches out to pat your head softly, trying to soothe you.

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As the evening progresses, Cyno and Tighnari keep up the light banter, sharing jokes and stories to keep your spirits up.

Slowly, you start to relax, the stress from your injury fading away as their company puts you at ease. The room is filled with laughter, and a comforting atmosphere settles in. Cyno tells another terrible pun, and even though you try your best to maintain a scowl, you can't help but let out a small chuckle.

Tighnari notices your slight smile and grins at Cyno, silently signaling him that their efforts are working. They exchange a sly, knowing look, grateful that you are starting to feel better.

As the night drags on, the room gradually falls silent as you doze off into a contented, healing slumber. Even after you fall asleep, Cyno and Tighnari take turns watching over you, making sure you're as comfortable as possible. They can't help but share a warm, fond smile, appreciating the peace and tranquility of the moment.

Your healing progresses in the following days, Cyno and Tighnari take turns caring for you. Tighnari diligently prepares meals and soothing herbs to help with your recovery, and Cyno occasionally comes by to offer his own unique way of making you feel better – by sharing yet another one of his terrible puns.

Despite your protests, Cyno's jokes never fail to crack a dumb smile on your face, and you find yourself secretly looking forward to his visits, just to hear those awful puns.

Eventually, your injury starts to heal as the days turn into weeks. Your pain and discomfort gradually fade away, and the bruise on your back begins to yellow before finally disappearing completely.

Tighnari examines your back once again, his fingers lightly tracing the area where the bruise used to be, before nodding in satisfaction.

"Yup, it appears that you have fully recovered. The injury has healed nicely, and there are no signs of pain or discomfort left."

Just as you're about to express your relief and thanks, Cyno chimes in with a dramatic sigh.

"Ah, it's a shame that you've recovered so quickly. I was already working on a new series of puns to keep the cheer going."

Cyno remarks, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Tighnari rolls his eyes but can't help but smile at Cyno's antics.

"Oh yes, because your terrible puns were an absolute cure for all our ailments. We simply would be miserable without them," Tighnari retorts, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Cyno pouts, feigning offense at Tighnari's words. "Hey, they weren't that bad! And besides, I had a whole new stockpile ready to go."

"Maybe, some other time, Cyno." You giggled.

"Spoil sport," Cyno grumbles, crossing his arms in mock disappointment, but a smile creeps onto his face at your laugh.

Tighnari lets out a lighthearted chuckle, shaking his head at Cyno's antics. They both sit quietly for a moment, enjoying the light banter and the relief of your full recovery.

You felt relief knowing that no matter what, come rain or shine, both of them would go to the ends of Tevyat for you as you would do for them as well.

But for now, let's just enjoy the tranquility of the moment, shall we?

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extras:

Tighnari: hey, I noticed that you kept the pictures of our student years in the albums you have in your cart.

Y/N: of course I did, they're really precious to me.

*Cyno come closer and picks up a picture.*

Cyno:....hey, when did you take this photo of me passed out on Lambad's Tavern, and...wait...DID YOU SERIOUSLY BALANCE PLATES ON ME?!

Y/N: ......yeah, i'm just gonna leave- *sprints*

Cyno: OH NO YOU DON'T- *runs after Y/N*

Tighnari: *dies of laughter.*

[teamatsumu]

kinktober 2023 -> day 16

daddy - miya osamu x reader

word count: 1386

kinktober masterlist

A sizzling noise broke through the relative quiet of the kitchen, accompanied by your out of tune humming. The smell of spice filled your nose and made your mouth water slightly as you swerved the vegetables around in the pan. It felt almost nostalgic to be doing this, considering you hadn’t cooked in quite a long time. You never had to, your boyfriend took care of that almost every day. And you were beyond grateful for it. You didn’t like cooking, and you weren’t too good at it.

But recently, things had really picked up for Onigiri Miya, with Osamu on the verge of opening a new branch in central Tokyo. His hours had been long and strenuous, and he came home later and later. You had decided to lessen his load as much as you could, which included taking over some of his home chores and the kitchen duties. Of course, it would be nowhere as good as Osamu’s expert cooking, but it was one less thing to worry about for him.

And while your food wasn’t great, it’s not like it was inedible.

You were brought back to the present when there was a click and the door squeaked open, signaling Osamu’s return. You smiled and turned back to the pan, waiting for him to make his way into the kitchen. You listened to the sounds of him toeing his shoes off in the genkan and sighing heavily, making your smile falter. He was probably tired as hell. He really needed to slow down a bit.

“Hi baby.” Your words were laced in affection, turning to look at your boyfriend as he lumbered into the kitchen, his cap bunched up in his hand while the other ran through his dark hair. He deposited the cap on the kitchen island, making a beeline for you and wrapping his arms tight around your waist from behind, head digging itself into your shoulder.

“Tired?” You asked rhetorically, feeling at ease with his hands finally on you after a whole day of being apart. Osamu hummed, reaching out to the knob for the stove and turning off the fire.

“Hey-” Your protest was cut off when Osamu lifted his head enough to lay a small kiss on your neck, his lips moving up to tickle the shell of your ear.

“I appreciate the gesture, babygirl,” he whispered, large hands squeezing your sides. “But there’s somethin’ else Daddy really wants right now.”

Your body reacted instantly, like it always did when Osamu used that word, and you could feel as he pushed his hips into your ass, that Osamu was ready to go. He was already throbbing, so hard against the swell of your ass that it made your breath stutter. Your lips parted when Osamu started placing the smallest kisses over your skin, stopping at the collar of your shirt to trace his tongue along its edge, biting at your shoulder a little. You felt your mind muddle, your pussy throb with need, your eyes glaze over and you slipped, straight into the role that you and Osamu had crafted together for you.

“W-what does Daddy want?” Your voice was husky and small, pushing your hips obediently back into the erection in Osamu’s pants. He hummed in approval.

“I wanna taste my baby.” He whispered back, fingers slipping into the waistband of your shorts. “Then I want my baby to lay back and take as many loads of Daddy’s cum as she can.”

You clenched hard around nothing, feeling yourself grow wet at the thought. Miya Osamu had many talents, and one of his best ones was how well he ate pussy. With the kind of mood he was in, you were certain he was going to leave you a whimpering, drooling mess.

And you were right, half an hour later, you were wailing at Osamu to stop, your cunt overstimulated beyond belief, your thighs covered in your juices, legs shaking, Osamu humming into your clit as you came again, wetting more of his face, his jaw, running down his neck, while he remained completely unbothered, holding your legs apart with an iron grip, tongue and lips working over every single part of you with a desperation you hadn’t seen in him for a long time. Osamu was often tired when he came home these days, but you didn’t know there was a kind of exhaustion that could lead to this.

By the time he resurfaced, tongue running hungrily over his coated lips for any remaining taste of you, you felt he had transferred all his exhaustion to you, leaving you boneless and numb, pussy tingling and clenching like mad. And yet, you still wanted more. You whined and reached for his shoulders, trying to pull him closer with your shaky legs, yearning for his cock to fill you up just the way you liked it.

“Daddy,” you cooed in your best voice, pouting at him. “Can I have your cock now, please? I’ve been a good girl, haven’t I?”

Osamu hummed, a little smirk lifting one corner of his mouth as he played with a strand of your hair, damp with sweat. He tucked it behind your ear so tenderly it made your insides squeeze. Leave it to him to be romantic at a moment like this, with your legs spread open around his waist and his cock gliding over your weeping pussy.

“Ya’ve been so good, babygirl.” He affirmed, making you close your eyes and bask in his praise. “Takin’ it like a champ. And now ya want my cock, too? Daddy’s really spoiled ya, haven’t I, princess?”

You whined and nodded, hips jerking up instinctively, to which Osamu grabbed your thighs, pushing them up until you were bent into a mating press. Your breath hitched, realizing just how rough this was about to get, and the thought nearly made your eyes roll back. And when Osamu finally filled you up, when his dick carved its way into your walls, hitting parts of you that made your toes curl and your chest squeeze, you understood exactly why he wanted to do this after a tiring day at work.

Osamu sighed as if a load had just been lifted off his shoulders, draping his torso over your body until you were unable to move, rendered motionless to just lay there and take what he gave you. It filled you with a primal satisfaction, being at his mercy like that, just taking what Daddy gave you, trusting that he would take good care of you. As he always did. Especially when you two were like this, when he felt overwhelmed and wanted to take control, he could come home and take care of you, reassure himself that he was still good, that he was capable of handling things, and protecting those he loved, and as he fucked into you, thrusts harsh and rough, listening to you whine about how good it felt and how he did it just right, Osamu felt like he was whole again. That he was himself again. That he could do this.

“Daddy ‘m gonna cum.” You babbled out, crying and weeping at how good his cock felt plowing into you over and over again, how your insides were melting and caving, fluttering around him, ready to fall apart as soon as he told you to.

“Good,” he rasped, face flushed red and hips picking up the pace even more, the sounds of skin slapping against skin growing even louder as Osamu’s breaths grew irregular. He was on the verge of cumming, and he wanted to do it with you. “Come on, baby. Cum all over Daddy’s cock. And take his cum while yer at it.”

And so you both allowed yourself to fall apart, you allowed Osamu to fuck his load into your tiny hole, spilling over and running down your ass until it met the floor. You let your nerves fire up, pushing and tugging until you were breathless and overstimulated, until you had gone completely limp in Osamu’s arms, not even registering the fact that Osamu was as hard as ever, still fucking hard into you and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. Not that you were protesting.

Afterall, you let Daddy do whatever he wanted.

Taglist:

@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles @argwein

A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!

[felassan]

Mass Effect: The Official Cocktail Book (Part 1 of 2)

[you can get the book here]

Drink, food, and other lore blurbs from this book. (The book also contains the associated real-world recipes and photography thereof. This post only contains the in-world lore segments).

this post is Part 1 of 2. Rest of post is under a cut due to length. [Link to Part 2]

If there's a particular drink/food you'd like to see the recipe and or picture for, lmk.

Introduction: Written in 2184 CE by “Ambree T’Sia”, identity classified It’s a big galaxy out there. Numerous planets and their inhabitants, all jockeying for power, prestige, and precedence. With these competing agendas often clashing, seldom mixing, sometimes you need a swig of something stiff to get you to the next Relay. Well, you’ve come to the right place. And me? Nine hundred years (give or take) and a variety of careers and aliases later, I hustle my way through the galaxy by the name of Ambree T’Sia these days. It’s the one fiction that allows me to keep the rest of the story honest – with varying degrees, depending on the situation. What I can share is this: a former asari huntress, I left the military bureaucracy to lead a small covert unit of ex-commandos focused on espionage and assassination outside of official channels. More effective and more fun that way. In my earlier years, I quickly learned that the best way to collect information is to buy a merc a drink or talk to the entertainers. The more I relied on bars and nightclubs to gather intel, the more connections I made with the key players. Not just the ones in the back office, but the ones slinging drinks with closed mouths and open ears. I started posing as a bartender myself and got quite good at it. Enjoyed it, even. I couldn’t exactly stay put for, well, reasons. But among those in the know, I’m still the go-to source for recommendations about the Milky Way’s best bars and nightclubs. After one too many “you should write a book!” jokes, I did. Guns and bribes in this economy? A cocktail guide seemed like an ideal little side hustle to help fund my more targeted activities. With this pen name, I’m free to share my favorite anecdotes about well-known figures across civilizations. I’ve also included a few safety tips for surviving the galaxy, setting your drink on fire, or respecting local drinking ages. (If you’re not legal, close this book up and come back when you are, babe.) I guess I just don’t believe in accidental injuries. For those feeling brave, go ahead and speculate about who I truly am. I’m not worried in the least. Because you won’t guess, and I’ll never tell… -- “Ambree T’Sia”

MIXERS Whether you’re slinging the hard stuff or milder “hair of the FENRIS Mech that bit you” drinks, mixers are the essential building blocks to any good bar. By all means, keep your favorite fruit juices, sodas, and whatnots on hand. But as someone who tends to move around a lot due to my… profession (I’m a master of the Asari Goodbye), I tend to lead a minimalist lifestyle. As such, I keep these mixer recipes on file to prepare quickly, as I need them. Let’s just say that they’ll keep your cocktails interesting.

Blue Thessia

Yes, mama is supposed to love all her babies the same, but this mixer is my favorite for its taste and versatility. (Hmm… sound like any cocktail authors you know?) Named after the asari homeworld, the Blue Thessia is the crown jewel of your bar essentials. You’ll predominantly taste sweet juniper and recognize that bold, asari-blue color. You could make your drinks without Blue Thessia, but that’s programming a Quantum Blue Box type AI and not giving it a sexy voice. What a wasted opportunity! Do be aware that this one contains trace amounts of element zero – nothing to concern yourself about, though, and it does keep things nice and sparkly.

Tuchanka Dry

This is the good stuff and it’s very hard to come by, which is why I make my own. Tuchanka Dry is similar to a fat-washed bourbon, which not only adds the flavor of the fat to the spirit, but also its texture and weight. If you’re making a Full Biotic Kick (page 43), well, this part’s the “kick”. Traditionally made with Thresher Maw fat (I did say it was hard to come by), this recipe started as a krogan rite-of-passage celebratory drink, when leftover fat from the kill was mixed together with alcohol. If you prefer dodging grocery carts over acid spit, you can make your own and get a surprisingly similar taste by substituting bacon.

Horse Choker

I’ve often found fighter pilots to be aggressive and competitive, so it delights me that this recipe I procured from a hot-tempered Alliance pilot named Jeff “Joker” Moreau Is instead indulgent and harmonious. The chocolate and espresso flavors combined with the spiced rum work oh so well together in a luxurious cooperation that especially enhances minty drinks. But don’t take my word for it – if you’re feeling a little spicy and hot-tempered, you might find this mixer helpful when you toss back a few shots of Joker’s Challenge (page 98) with your closest frenemies.

Simple Syrup

An essential building block for cocktails. Any well-stocked bar has a traditional simple syrup on hand. If you’re new to cocktail making and a bit apprehensive, start here – just add sugar to boiling water. See? Simple. As you’ll see, I prefer twice as much sugar to water. It’s on the richer side and your mileage may vary, as they say. Be aware that you don’t want to let too much water evaporate, or the syrup will reduce and cook down to something resembling krogan poetry: thicker and sweeter than expected. (Try to get past one stanza of Blue Rose of Illium without rolling your eyes out of their sockets, I dare you.)

Salarian Salination Solution

Successfully made your way through the Simple Syrup recipe (page 13) but still feel like you need one more easy win? Perhaps a mixer that’s ideal for citrus-heavy cocktails? Make this bartender’s saline next and keep in mind that science doesn’t always have to be complicated. Science is also very useful, and you’ll find this mixer in a variety of recipes throughout this book. (For the more adventurous, the Liquified Turian on page 57 is a must.) Now, if you think adding sea salt to warm water isn’t exactly “science”, then your name isn’t Sel Vass – a double-crossing salarian bartender who fancies himself an “intoxicologist”. I have… thoughts on that, which is why I’ve named this Salarian Salination Solution after him. And if your name is Sel Vass, I’m going to add your kidneys to my next bar menu – preferably with you still alive. (I’ve heard that when the Protheans did this to your ancestors, they found the fear adds “spice”).

Tupo Concentrate

I love a good Tupo Concentrate: it has a delicious balance of mouth-puckering tartness and euphoric sweetness. The only problem? I can never find any berries! Tupari sports drink-makers horde as much as they can to sell “12 trillion bottles per day”, despite only containing 10 percent real tupo juice (goddess only knows what the other 90 percent of that swill is). Fortunately, grenadine is a perfect substitute for when you’re looking to add a beautiful hue and unexpected depth of flavor to your cocktail.

Drell Skin Venom

Like bitters, Drell Skin Venom adds a nice bite, making your cocktail extraordinarily complex with just a few drops. Now, you might think that enough Drell Skin Venom may grant the memory-recall properties of its erstwhile secretor, but it’s more likely that the high alcohol content (which keeps it in heavy rotation at swanky bars like the Silver Coast Casino) will create more plot holes in your life than the salarian extranet drama Dynasty of Stars (with the same amount of nausea - stick to science, you excitable little amphibians!)

Asari Honey Syrup

For the occasions where you’re looking to spice things up, I’d suggest using this honey syrup. It’s just as versatile as its simple syrup sister but adds a bit more flavor. This particular mixer has a spicy little background as well: the original recipe was made in an Ardat-Yakshi monastery and its honeyed flavor is as alluring as its makers. Considering said makers enjoy nothing less than total domination, however, this syrup is unexpectedly collaborative with numerous drinks and flavors.

AFTERLIFE CLUB What is Afterlife? Why, the ultimate in illicit entertainment. Iconic, chic, ready to show you a good time… but mind your manners. Under all that polish, Afterlife is seething with violence just under the surface. A locus of power and secrecy – is it any wonder the glitzy club sports an ethic of violence and greed? And that’s just how this nightclub’s patrons, and its Pirate Queen, prefer things. Aria T’Loak oversees this particular multilevel palace of paradise and perdition on the space station Omega. And yes, its lure entices millions around the galaxy to leave their ordinary lives for extraordinary adventures, so be sure to show her the proper respect. She’s shot people she liked far more for way less. The recipes in this section are her top sellers – perfect for when you’d rather spend the night in than risk getting poisoned by a batarian bartender with a grudge against humans.

The Omega Sling

This cocktail is a personal favorite of mine from Afterlife for a reason. It’s sweet, tart, bitter, fruity, and spicy all at once. A complex little thing, and a single-serving punch that can also pack one. While it’s definitely a drink made to impress (look at that list of ingredients!), for me, it tastes like personal accomplishment. I once led a raid on a CAT6 outpost that nabbed enough high-end military gear to outfit my crew for a long, long time. It was a bastard to plan, just like the Omega Sling, but that only made the victory that much sweeter.

Blue Sun Spritz

Did you know that the Blue Suns mercenary group was founded by a batarian named Solem Dal’serah? That’s the public-facing story they’d prefer you believe, at least. And to celebrate said founding, Solem toasted the group with this hard-hitting wine spritz. The color ends up being a rich deep blue – a little on the nose, maybe, but it lands most satisfyingly on the tongue.

Tuchanka Sunset

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that krogan don’t have a sense of humor. I used to run with a Battlemaster in my early days whose wit was as dry and vast as an Asterian desert. We survived an Eclipse double-cross by the skin of our teeth, and when we got back to our dingy little hideout, he toasted our fortune with a Tuchanka Sunset. His own personal recipe. He claimed the bartenders at Afterlife know how to make it, if you ask. Now, I love a good sunset drink and as such was appalled to watch him dump black rum on top of an otherwise flawless concoction. Sensing my shock, with a wry half-smile he said, “Well, yeah, wouldn’t be a sunset on Tuchanka without a choking cloud of toxic ash to ruin the view now, would it?”

Serrice Ice Brandy

I find human Alliance officers to be particularly dull and single-minded. So new to space, with such a short lifespan, few know how to relax and have fun. Not so with their medical personnel: disgruntled, overworked, and with the romance of military life quickly snuffed out by the harsh realities of combat, they know how to put the Rs in R & R. Serrice Ice Brandy always reminds me of a particular Alliance officer named Karin Chakwas, very posh and put together, who got a little salty after a drink (or several) of the stuff.

Sovak Juice

Have you heard the one about how krogan males name their infants? According to salarian scientist Padok Wiks, they get drunk on sovak juice and hold belching contests. Apparently, whatever sounds most like a word becomes a name. I doubt there’s much validity to this claim (although… Wrex?) but I still remember the young krogan merc I renamed after a night of tossing back these nutty, bubbly little things together. It’s been a while, but I do sincerely hope Urp is doing well out there. [note on recipe: “Garnish: For sovak juice? Come on, now.”]

Noverian Rum Swizzle

Seeing as rum is a liquor made with sugarcane molasses or sugarcane juice, one might associate it with warm, tropical climates. One would also be wrong and very much missing out on one of the finest varieties in the entire galaxy. I refuse to make this drink with anything less than quality Noverian rum (and Asari Honey Syrup, of course). Once you’ve had a taste, you’ll understand why Aria T’Loak was so sulky after Purgatory’s stock of the stuff ran out. Though, to be fair, having her entire empire occupied by Cerberus General Oleg Petrovsky may have also contributed to her sour mood. For that authentic touch of frost, I recommend harnessing biotics to give your stick the right amount of swizzle.

DARK STAR LOUNGE Dark stars, as a theoretical curiosity, could be extremely powerful. Dark Star Lounge, an actual bar, definitively serves extremely powerful drinks. Located on the Citadel one level up from the C-Sec office in Zakera Ward (a convenient perp walk away when patrons get too rowdy), many bartenders are happy to give customers exactly what they ask for… the “usual” being a thumping hangover. If you like your drinks stiffer than a turian’s carapace, you’ve flipped to the right section. Higher-proof spirits with a higher spirit-to-mixer ratio for a higher class of drinker, Dark Star recipes do not disappoint. I trust you can handle it… and if you happen to wake up next to an attractive stranger the next morning whose name you can’t quite recall, I recommend breaking the ice over some Huevos Rancheros à la Vega (see page 12, you charmer).

Batarian Ale Shandy

If you’re not a krogan or batarian, please don’t drink uncut batarian ale. It’s mean, it’s green, and it will leave your insides clean. Instead, use this recipe to make yourself a refreshing and fizzy shandy. Yes, a human Spectre managed to stay on their feet after chugging a glass of the uncut ale – at least that’s what one Dark Star Lounge bartender claims. But ask yourself: Are you really the type? I’m reminded of a naïve bar patron cosplaying in plastic N7 armor he convinced his poor wife to buy him (along with his shuttle-fare off world, understandably). You’re not “truly extreme”. Do yourself a favor: Check your ego and enjoy the Batarian Ale Shandy.

Dark Star Vespertini

No trip to Dark Star Lounge is complete without ordering this signature cocktail, the Dark Star Vespertini, especially if you have a bit of a sweet tooth. I’ve included the recipe here, at great risk to certain of my… relationships… at the lounge. It’s simply too delicious not to share, with a rich chocolate-raspberry taste. Be sure to shake this one well – for the nonbiotics who need to do this task manually, I liken it to the amount of time until you start to worry your arm will fall off. If it feels like you’re giving the tumbler a quick ride in an M35 Mako, you’re doing it right.

Ryncol Cocktail

Listen up, tough guys. I promise you that bartenders are never impressed when you swagger up and ask for “the strongest you have”. In fact, just to make sure you embarrass yourself in front of your friends, they’ll probably slap on a fake smile and pour you a tall glass of krogan ryncol. Never heard of it? They certainly don’t advertise the stuff. But for fun, let’s spitball some potential slogans: “Ryncol! It hits aliens like ground glass,” or “Ryncol! It’s like sipping knives,” or “Ryncol! It’ll set of radiological alarms.” Just ask a certain Commander Shepard. And enjoy your purple prayers to the porcelain goddess…

Paragade Punch

While Tupari sports drinks are all the rage, don’t discount Paragade! Especially in cocktails. By itself, it’s not too good and it’s not too bad, but mixed with alcohol, it’s somewhat of a revelation. This recipe gives you a layered drink that starts out sweetly and ends with a real kick to the quads. Perfect for those nights where you might hold your tongue at one bar only to start throwing chairs at the next. It takes a deft hand to get the blue-purple-red proportions right when you’re making one, and to get the ending you want after a night of drinking them.

Dextro Heat Sink

Like a boilermaker, the Dextro Heat Sink is a great way of making strong alcohol stronger. During his Archangel days, Garrus Vakarian and his crew would slug these like candy as they racked up wins against the Blue Suns, Blood Pack, and Eclipse thugs on Omega. This is a sweet and spicy tequila cocktail (the “heat”) with a dropped shot of Ancho Reyes liqueur (the “sink”). An unlimited amount of these might be fun at first, with the occasional pause to blow some heat off your tongue, but it’s advised to keep them to a finite amount.

Turian Horosk

Considering the rigidity of turians, you’d need a pretty strong drink to loosen them up enough to get the wedgie out of their thermal armor. Enter: Turian Horosk. Another Garrus Vakarian favorite, you’re not going to find this outside of a handful of bars, and certainly not at the posher Silver Coast Casinos of the ‘verse. So, if you’re looking to calibrate your soberness in the opposite direction, here’s the recipe for you. The lemonade flavor helps it go down easy and the spices are optional – the hangover from too many rounds of this, however, is not.

PURGATORY BAR The Citadel is a tourist trap. Humans tend to view this as a disparaging label, but I say it with great enthusiasm. For my credits, there’s no better way to take in the sights than as a lowercase t tourist, and there’s no better place to do that than the Citadel. If you have the time, a bar named Purgatory serves drinks that are especially heavenly. If you like new takes on classic cocktails with a slightly higher mixer-to-alcohol ratio, sip on these before taking in the sights and sounds of the Presidium. And if you’re just not convinced it’s worth the visit, well, at least you can whip up these drinks at home. And do take your Citadel recommendations with a grain of salt when you’re there (barring the guide currently in your hands, of course). Especially ones coming from the hotshot human Spectre making the rounds – that one will endorse anything for a discount.

Frozen Pyjak

The best part about tending bar? The customers. I learn a little about a lot just by listening. The worst part about tending bar? The customers. Sometimes I don’t have to listen too intently, as their volume increases with their alcohol intake. For fun, I used to give my loudest customers a freebie: the Frozen Pyjak. I overheard Samantha Traynor boasting (loudly, ironically) about this and it sounded too entertaining not to try it out: Every few hours, you empty your spill pad into a martini glass and toss a little ice in for presentation. This is a much nicer variation for you to make. All these ingredients go incredibly well together, so you can serve it to people you actually like. [note on recipe: “Garnish: Well now, that would defeat the point.”]

Full Biotic Kick

My curiosity for the Full Biotic Kick was piqued by a charming young Alliance comms specialist named Samantha Traynor who extolled its virtues. Apparently, this was the most popular drink served when she worked “extensively” as a bartender during her university days… for a whole four years. I understand humans consider this quite the span of time – how quaint. I believe the “kick” comes directly from the Tuchanka Dry, and if you’ve ever faced down a biotic krogan Battlemaster (and lived to tell about it), you’ll understand why.

Vodka Skycar

As the Citadel became increasingly populated and its denizens spread across the wards of this colossal space station, they began to rely more and more on a centralized mode of transportation. Enter the skycar, a maddeningly slow shuttle that, though nowhere near as glacially paced as Citadel elevators, redeems itself with some of the most incredible views in the galaxy. When I need to slow down, I make myself a nice Vodka Skycar, get lost in its pretty sky-blue color, and hire an ambling ride around the glittering Citadel Tower. Magical.

Rojo Loco

Everyone loves a good Rojo Loco: C-Sec, pirates, accountants, politicians, hunky Alliance marines who think pull-up contests and cute little nicknames might get you into their beds (full disclosure, they can, and they have… cheers, James Vega). Because underneath all the stories everyone tells themselves about themselves, at the end of the day, all any of us are really looking for is to enjoy a bit of spice and heat. Maybe that’s a firefight. Maybe that’s filing paperwork. Either way, this drink ticks that box and gives you the same warm tingle.

TM88 Smash

I love a good rebrand. TM88 used to be known as “Merc’s Courage,” because drinking enough of the stuff gave one the false sense of strength that often comes with getting absolutely hammered. Salarians especially took a shine to this Earth-based whiskey and swore it had medicinal properties… when really it was the shortest distance between two points to get a person drunk. Ever the opportunists, salarians branded TM88 as a cure-all and “the only alcoholic drink endorsed by the Medical Board of Sur’Kesh.” Alliance officer Kaidan Alenko credits the stuff for his speedy discharge from Huerta Memorial Hospital. So, drink up! Doctor’s orders.

ETERNITY Due to its extreme opulence and high level of security, the asari-run planet of Illium is a preferred tourist destination and (second, third, fourth) home of many of the galaxy’s most well-known celebrities. It’s also under a state of near-total surveillance. You can take their self-congratulatory media touting Eternity as “the sexiest bar in the Milky Way” with a few handfuls of salt (though with Matriarch Aethyta slinging drinks, “sexiest bartender” would be harder to argue with), but don’t sleep on their drink selection. I have a soft spot for asari drinks, as you might expect. I find them to be sweet and mellow and think Eternity gets them right. I’ve collected a few of my favorites for you here. Regarding the Liquified Turian (page 57) backstory, well… who can say if that one’s legit? But seeing as the normally stringent customs laws of Council space on safety and sapient trafficking are relaxed on Illium, I can’t say I’d be too surprised.  

Mystery Drink

I understand mystique. It’s a powerful weapon that can influence your enemies before you ever need to fire a shot. I also understand bullshit and am very good at differentiating the latter from the former. So, when I first heard this Mystery Drink is rumored to come from “the deepest reaches of the Traverse,” distilled on a “shadowy nameless planet” by “specifically adapted Vorcha,” alarms were ringing in my head. Until I had a sip. Deceptively fruity and floral but highly intoxicating with an otherworldly appearance, well, does it matter where it came from, especially if you can get the same fabulous taste using syrup from canned lychees? No. In the case of this delicious little Mystery Drink, it most certainly does not.

Asari Honey-Mead Bellini

Made in an Ardat-Yakshi monastery, asari honey mead is for those with taste. And, let’s be honest, credits. Whoever said “the best things in life are free” was compensating, because this expensive little drink is worth the experience. Ever the one to push boundaries, I prefer to prepare my honey mead with sparkling wine to make an effervescent little bellini, because the sweet and mellow flavor mixed with bubbles positively sparkles – in the glass and on the soul.

Perfection

I once crossed paths with this pretty little human who called herself Miranda Lawson. Despite her formidable intelligence, killer biotic abilities, and, well, let’s just say her “superior physical constitution,” she seemed to be… missing something. She didn’t say and I didn’t press, but we shared a drink whose taste was as excellent as the woman pouring. Asking her what she called it, she gave a sad smile and simply said, “Perfection”. Indeed. To her surprise (and delight, I might add), I sweetened the affair with a shot of strawberry liqueur and told her, “Yes, but there’s always room for improvement, dear”. Hmm. I wonder if she ever found what she was looking for.

Memory Stealer

Ah, Kasumi Goto. The best thief in the business. You don’t remember her and she prefers it that way. She’s so good, she’ll even nick your memory of her ever having been there… along with whatever valuables you had in your pockets. When I do have the good fortune of remembering her, I like to pour this drink made with Japanese gin in her honor. And like the master thief herself, one too many Memory Stealers will no doubt leave you with a hazy recollection the next morning.

Liquified Turian

“Ambree,” you say. “Certainly, Matriarch Aethyta’s story of a krogan drinking liquified turian on a bet is embellished? A tall tale? Urban legend meant to titillate, disgust, and delight?” Maybe. Regardless, it’s one of my favorites, so I made this drink in homage (and to capitalize off the story – your girl is nothing if not quick to make a quick cred). I use a tequila base, with agave being native to a desert climate like you’d find on Palaven. Of course, I use egg white for the smooth texture, plus saline to stabilize this particular choice of “protein”. And the blue curaçao, well, turian blood is blue, after all! Mm, you can almost taste the dextro-amino acids. [note on recipe: “Garnish: No embellishment needed with a backstory this impressive.”]

FLUX

Flux is one of the more recent night spots to open on the Citadel and boasts a casino in addition to a well-stocked bar. The atmosphere is almost as inviting as the volus who runs the place – alternating between owner, cook, and bartender, one wonders where Doran finds the energy. But at some point, you’ll be sure to find this little macaroon from Irune shaking his pressure suit on the dance floor.

The recipes I’ve collected from Flux are, as you can imagine, fun and whimsical. Seeing as Doran spends an equal amount of time in the kitchen as he does behind the bar, you can also find a fair bit of culinary flare in the drink preparation. Enjoy yourself, Earth-clan!

Tupari Blast

Despite the volus being a race not cut out for physicality of any kind, their mastery of trade and commerce has helped Tupari sports drinks conquer the galaxy. It seems like you can’t swing a dead CAT6 without hitting a vending machine of the stuff, and Doran has a particular fondness for it. I’d be remiss to not include it here, both for its delicious taste and because of how well it sells. Its strong fruity flavor makes it a consistent Flux favorite. It’ll give you the courage to get on the dance floor and the electrolytes to stay there until closing time.

Rum Relay

A toast to the Mass Relays! Forgive my (brief, I promise) indulgence in sentimentality, but the Relays have brought together an array of intelligent life whose differences remind us of how we’re all pretty much the same: unsure of our place in the universe, but in our best moments willing to teach and learn from our Milky Way sisters and brothers. No one understands that better than Doran, and what better way to celebrate it than by sloshing a Rum Relay milk punch all over the dance floor as you boogie the night away.

Blasto Sting

This one unironically loves the Blasto franchise. The acting, the writing, the backdrops? High camp, babe. A human essayist, Sontag, wrote, “You can’t camp about something you don’t take seriously. You’re not making fun of it; you’re making fun out of it.”  And what’s more fun than adding cream to grape Pucker? It creates a hanar in every shot. Try my favorite drinking game: gather your friends, fire up Blasto Saves Christmas, and throw back a Blasto Sting every time he says, “Enkindle THIS!”

Denorian Beer Granita

Krogan are not known for negotiation. If you find yourself mediating with one for goddess’ sake do not show up empty-handed. I tried to bluff my way through just such a situation once and you wouldn’t be reading this book if I hadn’t had ingredients for Denorian Beer Granita on hand. I developed a fondness for Denorian beer from Urdnot Wrex, but this cocktail takes it to another level. In a desperate attempt to cool tensions, I offered to make a round of this unique drink with its smooth taste, fun texture, and visually appealing look. The krogan got the recipe and I got to walk away (with a little extra pep in my step from the caffeine). Win-win.

Tasty Tankard

What can I say? I’m a Matriarch with a Maiden’s tastes: I like a pretty young thing on my arm, a warm Acolyte pistol, and a heaping bowl of human ice cream. Chocolate, if you’re taking notes. The Tasty Tankard is essentially a boozy milkshake, and I urge you to ignore anyone who tries to tell you that drinks made in a blender only belong in cheesy resorts. This one goes down dangerously easy, and the recipe makes enough for two… or one krogan with a sweet tooth. If that krogan happens to be Grunt, I advise having enough on hand to fill a large enough container. Perhaps a flower pot’s worth? [note on recipe: “Serves: 2… or 1 krogan.”]

CHORA’S DEN Not for the faint of heart, Chora’s Den on the Citadel is the “livelier but deadlier” choice to stop for a drink. A gentleman’s club owned by a scoundrel (novel, I know), the clientele and drinks lean heavily towards the strong and seedy type. The loud music and low lighting do well to cover the bloodstains and less-than-legitimate conversations, but you’ll have a great time if you mind your business and tip the asari dancers well. Be sure to ask Fist, the proprietor of this fine establishment, about the back room – it’s perfect for your next shady deal. And I’m not one for gossip, but if you’re curious about the smell, I’ve heard Fist has a habit of burying “old problems” under the dancers’ stage. The following recipes evoke the Den’s more… aggressive tendencies.

Tequila Se’lai

Whether you’re human, turian, or salarian, we’ve all got our shared little “catch phrases” we catch ourselves saying: “Embrace eternity” if you’re asari, “Victory or death” if you’re krogan, ★heavy breathing intensifies★, if you’re volus… you get the idea. I quite like the quarians’ “Keelah Se’lai,” or “By the homeworld I hope to see one day.” Tragic but beautiful. This recipe is an ode to their homeworld, Rannoch, with desert and coastal flavors all brought together with a lovely prickly pear syrup.

Elasa

I’m not really a “drown your sorrows” type of gal. I’m more of the “drown you in a hail of incendiary ammo if you upset me” type. To each their own. If you lean more on a shoulder and less on a trigger, you can’t go wrong with an Elasa, aka Sorrow’s Companion. (They’re not joking when they say it serves one…) Pale green with a bitter aftertaste and tangy sweetness, it’s a great way to take life’s lemons and make lemon garnish for your cocktail (or limes, in this case). Fist, ever putting the gentlemen in gentlemen’s club, used to refer to this drink as The Cynthia, a snide reference to Elasa being Alliance Commander David Anderson’s preferred drink during his divorce.

Quad Kicker

Not for the faint of heart, the Quad Kicker will, well, kick you straight in the quad, I suppose. Samantha Traynor is adamant about “no curry powder” in her version, but why take away that spicy mouthfeel? Add that curry simple syrup and let this baby wake you up! It ain’t called the Quad Fondler, so step up and throw down with your friends (or enemies).

Shadowbrokertini

I hope by this point you’ve come to realize that I know everything that’s worth knowing. Yet I humbly admit that, try as I might, I’m still unable to unmask the Shadow Broker. But I am familiar with their agents, including a certain proprietor of Chora’s Den. And even though Fist refuses to confess what he knows (which, I suspect, is even less than I do), he did agree to collaborate on a cocktail worthy of that confidential entity. Dark, shadowy, and with enough caffeine to help keep one sharp in the secrets-trading game, the Shadowbrokertini theatrically uses dry ice to add an air of mystery. I trust you don’t need the Shadow Broker’s services to know that swallowing dry ice can kill you, yes? [note on recipe: “(Note: Some Shadow Brokers prefer it without lime at all.)”]

The Erotic Biotic

I suppose I should start this one off with a warning: Don’t underestimate young asari. Yes, there is a strong drive for at the Maiden stage to explore and experience. Curious and restless, some look for the nearest bar to dance in. But that’s no reason to let your guard down. Many don’t realize their mistake until they’re telekinetically slammed into the nearest concrete wall. Well, that’s just the ratio of risk-to-reward that Chora’s Den captures with this drink. With a winky flavor profile of fruit and cream, finish your Erotic Biotic with Drell Skin Venom to add a tingly bite (for the adventurous types), or with chocolate bitters (for the romantics). I like a bit of both – I may be a Matriarch, yet I’ve never lost that desire to explore and experience…

The Shifty Cow

While I’ve heard just about every maxim in the ‘verse, one rings particularly true: “You can’t trust any animal that can milk itself.” Yes, I’m talking about space cows, with their unsettling, grabby little hands. Turn your back around one and they’ll pick through your pockets. The Shifty Cow cocktail is a clarified milk punch. And that’s partly because it’s fun to separate the milk solids from the drink, but also because I’m reminded of these audacious little cows eagerly separating an unsuspecting fool from their credits. And yes, we do have that in common, which reminds me of a human maxim: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” You win this round, space cows.

-----

[you can get the book here]

[dreamcubed]

enchanted | fred weasley x reader

song; enchanted [taylor swift] pairing; fredweasley x fem!ravenclaw!singer!reader genre; s2l, f2l, fluff word count; 2,1k timeline; goblet of fire warnings; mentions of anxiety, mentions of drugs summary; maybe volunteering to sing at the yule ball would mean that your crush would finally notice you, and maybe you could have a wonderfully enchanting night as a result

masterlist

i might consider a speak now anthology... but not until after lover and reputation are done. i just had to use this song for this idea...

"please don't be in love with someone else."

————————————————

The purple sparkles glistening on your cheekbones gave your complexion an ethereal type of blush, accented by your magnificent lilac princess gown that spilled out at your hips. Your hair was perfectly styled, with delicate purple butterflies pinned in various places. This was a night that you had been rehearsing over and over for weeks now - and you couldn't fuck up this moment.

With a squeeze on your arm from your nearest and dearest friend, Jean, you gave a tight lipped smile and moved towards the stage. It felt as if the world stopped when you gripped the microphone in your hand, and silence fell upon the ballroom. You had been unable to think of a good introduction, so decided that delving right into the song was the best course of action. You heard the guitar begin.

"There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place."

As you opened your eyes, you scanned the crowd for the one person whose eyes you wanted pinned on you: the tuft of ginger hair that you had gazed at longingly from a distance for so long. You could tell him apart from his twin brother, quite easily tonight as while George was partnered up with Angelina Johnson, Fred remained dateless. It could only have been a personal choice, as he could have had any girl he wanted.

Including you.

"Walls of insincerity Shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face."

Your eyes locked on to his, and you remembered the moment you first laid eyes on him back in first year.

***

The glance of you, an awkward eleven year old, towards a ginger-haired boy at Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Well, one of multiple ginger-haired boys. And, despite another of them being identical to him, he stood out to you like the shiny full moon in a starry sky. Maybe it was the cheeky grin he had on his face as he watched what appeared to be his elder brother realise that something had been shoved down his pants, or maybe it was the fact he seemed to be brimming with confidence.

For a shy child such as yourself, seeing someone of such the opposite genre, unafraid to be loud and proud— it was a spectacle. You were in awe.

And that was when he turned around and caught you staring. Heat rushed to your ears and you immediately turned away, hiding next to your mother, hearing the sound of his pleasant laughter in the background. You didn't think you would fancy someone at Hogwarts so quickly, and even young naïve you knew that it would be an all-consuming crush.

***

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."

Never had you had his, and everyone else's, full attention quite like this. It made you feel like the goddamn belle of the ball, which was nerve-wracking but exhilarating. You gripped the microphone tighter, letting more memories flood over you, including the first time you exchanged words with Fred.

"Your eyes whispered, 'Have we met?' 'Cross the room your silhouette Starts to make its way to me."

***

Your first charms lesson, practising a simple levitation charm with feathers: a class that you happened to share with who you learned to be the Weasley twins. You couldn't help but glance at him every few seconds, to the point that you lost control of your feather and it went flying in his direction. Eyes growing wide out of shock, you quickly scurried out of your seat and over to where they were sat.

"This yours?" who you now knew to be Fred asked.

You nodded.

"Here you go," he said, passing it over with a smile, "Be more careful next time. You're lucky it's just a feather."

Embarrassment swarmed over you, and you wordlessly nodded yet again, grabbing the feather and hurrying back to your seat.

***

Despite such a humiliating first interaction, you grew in confidence over the years, and your crush on him became less debilitating.

"The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks Like passing notes in secrecy."

***

"Hey, Y/N, you were at Jean's party over the Summer, you saw Cho grinding up on Cedric in the living room didn't you?" your Gryffindor friend asked you as you walked past their table to your own. You stopped walking and chuckled.

"No, I didn't. I spent most the time upstairs."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah with the druggies."

You shook your head at her.

"You act like such a goody-two-shoes at school but you're secretly a party animal."

"Y/N L/N, a party animal? No way," Fred Weasley piped up from nearby.

You shrugged, "You wouldn't know. You didn't even get invited."

You watched as amusement flitted over his eyes at your remark. "Touché, L/N."

***

"And it was enchanting to meet you All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you."

You began walking to one side of the stage, soaking in all the attention being on you which would have driven you to a panic attack in first year. It still made you scared, but you could handle the feeling a lot better these days.

"This night is sparkling Don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck Blushing all the way home."

People began cheering as you picked up your volume.

***

In third year, you got assigned to be Fred's partner in a potions practical, as Snape did not let the twins be paired up under any circumstances. Despite your hatred of the man, you couldn't blame him for that move. And in that instance, you thanked him.

"I'm a lot luckier than George."

"What do you mean?" you asked as you laid out all the ingredients.

"He's partnered with a Slytherin guy, I'm with a pretty Ravenclaw girl."

You froze, relishing in the compliment without trying to appear too embarrassed. "Uh, thanks."

You heard him chuckle, "Like you've never heard it before."

Not from anyone but your mother.

***

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

When you had found out about the Yule Ball, you had been sick to your stomach thinking about seeing Fred with another girl. Every time he had briefly dated over the last few years had killed you, and this was no exception. So, you had thrown yourself into rehearsals and almost entirely isolated yourself, only to find out that Fred hadn't asked anyone and had come alone.

"The lingering question kept me up 2am, who do you love? I wonder 'til I'm wide awake."

Why, though? Why hadn't he asked anyone? Why did he choose solitude and embarrassment over a lovely night of dancing and eventual making out?

"And now I'm pacing back and forth Wishing you were at my door I'd open up and you would say 'Hey, it was enchanting to meet you' All I know is I was enchanted to meet you."

You had spent a lot of time wishing he would ask you, and as you entered the second chorus, you found yourself shutting your eyes and dreaming that he would kiss and hug you when you left the stage. Telling you that he was so incredibly proud of you and that you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

"This night is sparkling Don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck Blushing all the way home."

You opened your eyes and let yourself have another glimpse of his face.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew This night is flawless Don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck Dancing around all alone."

Alas, you did not have a date, and would likely be spending the rest of this evening dancing exclusively with friends— or maybe even alone, if they were busy with their dates. But, a girl could dream, and you could so easily imagine Fred approaching you and asking you for a dance.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

***

You frowned as you saw, for the first time, the Weasley twins in the Hogwarts library. For some reason, you highly doubted that their intentions were educational. Regardless, they appeared lost.

"Need some help?" you offered, beckoning all your courage to do so.

"What? No, we're good. We're fine," Fred said quite too suddenly.

You raised an eyebrow, "I'm not here to snitch, you just seem a bit confused."

They exchanged a look with each other.

"Okay," George sighed, "We're looking for the sludge based charms section."

***

"This is me praying that This was the very first page Not where the storyline ends."

This was was your second to last year of Hogwarts, and you couldn't have that be the end of your interactions with Fred. You needed to have more than that, you needed to communicate your feelings, you needed to feel his embrace. Unfortunately, you were a coward with love, and so you were going to extreme means to attract him so he would do the initiating. Rowena knows you were desperate.

"My thoughts will echo your name Until I see you again These are the words I held back As I was leaving too soon."

In a moment of adrenaline rush bravery, you firmly locked your eyes on to the man you had pined after for years. You hoped he was close enough to the stage to realise that you were looking at him.

"I was enchanted to meet you."

And as the backing vocals picked up, you lowered your microphone and gave a nervous smile as you watched his face contort in shock. He raised a finger and gestures to his chest, as if to say, "Me?"

You nodded, raising your microphone again.

"Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you!"

The corners you had stood in, the people you had hidden behind, the conversations you had avoided— they were history. You had overcome your fears, and it only took you nearly six years. Now, no matter what came of this, you couldn't look back and regret not confessing.

"This night is sparkling Don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck Blushing all the way home."

Maybe he felt the same, or at least had the potential to feel the same. Maybe he had realised that you were no longer the awkward eleven year old with a nose that was too big for her face and a haircut that did nothing for her features.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew This night is flawless Don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck Dancing around all alone."

The crowd had melted away, and you couldn't even hear your own anxiety as you let the song absorb you. You refused to let yourself live to regret this moment.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

A part of the song that you could officially say did not describe you: he knew. Fred knew. He knew that you were enchanted to meet him, that your thoughts echoed his name, that you had held so many words back. And with that thought, you let yourself return to Earth, settling in the middle of the stage as you gently sung the final words.

"Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you."

Cheers erupted from all around you: Durmstrang, Beauxbatons and Hogwarts. You took a bow, unable to wipe the grin off your face as you were applauded, deciding to ignore for that moment any consequences of your actions. That continued when you left the stage and your friends greeted you with hugs and compliments— until Jean pulled you aside and muttered.

"You looked at him."

"What?" you feigned confusion.

She gave you a look, "Don't play dumb. You sang the song at Weasley."

"I- yeah," you admitted.

"Well, don't leave him waiting."

This time, you were genuinely confused, "What?"

She nudged her head to her left, where you turned to see that Fred was patiently waiting for you to finish talking to your friends. "Go get him, girl."

You took a deep breath and nodded with a smile, walking towards the man who held your heart.

"Hi," you murmured, feeling shy again.

"Hi," he said softly, his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Did you like my-?"

"I loved it," he cut you off.

You smiled abashedly.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked as the music began picking up again.

You accepted his extended hand, "You can have every dance."

And Fred grinned.

———————————————

masterlist

written; 17/03/2024 —> 07/04/2024 published; 07/04/2024 edited; —/—/——

[mossdoesartshit]

ITS THE SINNER ADAM BIT. GOD HELP. this will be long fair warning

-----

Adam had woken up to another relatively normal day in hell. Weird as shit birds chirping, screaming, and explosions rattled into his ears as he blinked away sleep. It had been a while now since he'd come to the hotel, and he still didn't quite know how to feel about it, but things felt... safe, for once. Not as safe as back in heaven, mind you, but safe enough he was feeling comfortable. He still had a lot of shit to sort out (most frustratingly, emotions about this entire ordeal), but anything to get back to the comfort of heaven, he mused to himself as he futzed his hair into a good enough shape, and the minimal requirement of clothes on.

He walked down the stairs to the main area of the hotel, trying to remember if he had to hang around the hotel the entire day, or if he could go try and find that milkshake place again-

"YOU. YOU FUCKING KNEW!" Lucifers finger pointed at Adam, snapping any sleep still remaining in his body

"huh???" came out of Adam involuntarily

"YOU KNEW LILITH WAS STILL AROUND, AND DIDN'T TELL US?!" Lucifer continued, Charlie quickly closing the gap between her and her now very angry father "Dad, come on-" "NO." charlie flinched

"HE knew your mother was around somewhere, HE knew of her whereabouts, and DID NOT TELL US. Still the spiteful prick, aren't you Adam!" it came out more an accusation than a question, anger in every possible core within him. Adam brought his hands up defensively as Lucifer continued. "YOU knew and didn't think to tell us? To tell CHARLIE, to tell ME?!" it was true that Adam knew about Lilith, very much unclear as to how Lucifer, charlie, and whoever else of the hotel staff were still around, but... "I thought you guys knew!" Adam tried "BULLSHIT" Lucifer continued even further "I can't even begin to believe you! You waltz in here, pretend all this happy good stuff about how you're TOTALLY getting better, and HERE THE FUCK WE ARE!" The corner of Adam's mouth twitched. As much as he could believe that everyone in the room knew what all he'd known, and as much as he could believe that asking who even told them would be a bad idea, he was getting irritated about the method in which lucifer was bringing this up. He HAD been trying his best and the accusation he wasn't brought further ire to it all

"Hey, dude, chill out a bit-" "CHILL OUT?" ah. "How can you even THINK to say that right now, ARE you even thinking?" well ouch. if it wouldn't've made the situation worse Adam would've been hurt by such a statement, all he really did nowadays WAS to think-

"I SWEAR to.... SOMEONE, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, you probably have been lying this whole time!! About everything!!"

something snapped in Adam.

without much thought, he grabbed a hold of Lucifer tightly and harshly, flaring his wings out as he snarled right into the former angel's face, only slightly registering the sounds of the others in the room either from shock or horror. Lucifer's hat fell, the little snake letting out a small squeak in surprise.

"Listen here, you Mother Fucker. You can call me a helluva lot of things, but fucking Liar. is NOT one of them. You have no idea the shit that happened after Eden, oh boohoo, you fell out of heaven, cool, whatever, do not pretend to know me enough though that id do such a fucking bullshit act as to lie. All my life, through Eden, through Earth, through Heaven, even now, I have been doing nothing but the fucking truth."

Lucifer stared up at Adam, confusion, vague horror, as he stared into Adam's glowing eyes. Not for fear of injury or pain, but... something else. Something that felt familiar. From all the way back in...

Adam shifted his gaze, up from lucifer, up from the floor, to... Charlie. She was clearly nervous, never having had to break up a fight between others. "Hey, Adam, I..." she tried, taking a breath, as she tried a confident smile, her hands trembling and her brows furrowing giving her even more away. "I know that probably hurt, but let's not hurt anyone ok? Take a deep breath, and we can talk this out ok? I-... I needed an activity for today anyway!" she chuckled nervously.

Adam hated this. Fuck's sake, he was just undoing progress. He bit his lip as Lucifer turned to Charlie a little bit, ever the faintest confused

"Whatever" Adam snarled, shoving Lucifer to the side, which Lucifer had not anticipated, and promptly kind of fell on his ass about it. "Do whatever, I need some fucking air"

He shoved his hands into his pockets in frustration, moving to walk away past everyone fast, as Charlie rushed to Lucifer's side nervously. From the corner of his eye, Adam could even spot Vaggie being a little conflicted. Funny, who knows how long ago at this point she'd've looked smug.

"Dad are you ok?" Charlie asked a little hurried, picking up his hat softly, as the little snake curled up. "I'll talk to him, don't worry, I..." she noticed Lucifer wasn't really listening to her, staring after adam, still in his head from earlier. Fuck. Right. Of course that felt familiar from Eden. He was a little shocked it took him so long to remember it. The shade of the tree as he'd stared up at Adam. Fuck. That was going to be a mess to talk about. And he knew, that the two needed to talk. He just hoped Adam knew it too