#then im seeing the musical tomorrow
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i wanted to have already had my agathario fic posted because I’m about to see wicked
gotta brace for that to consume me for a hot minute
#im seeing the movie tonight#then im seeing the musical tomorrow#losing my power has messed up EVERYTHING#its not back yet#you can see your breath in my house#its actually colder inside the house than it is outside#its going to take a week or more to come back#its lit y’all
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my experience seeing beetlejuice earlier tonight.
#colette!juice flirted with me......... im fucking honored#seeing it again tomorrow :P#or uh. technically today its almost 1am#IM IN LOVE WITH BEETLEJUICE#literally smiled the whole way home thinking of him <3#my art#digital art#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#bjtm#beetlejuice fanart#beetlejuice the broadway musical#sketch
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Ain’t he pretty
#okay google play Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit 😩#right but yknow what that mouth do#complain probably#Milo Greer more like Milo Munch#gotem#Milo DOES in fact have pretty boy privelege#the amount of questionable art I needed to hunt down to find good refs for that mouth#I-#anyway I’m busy tomorrow but I’ll do a full body next week#im gonna go see a broadway musical tomorrow >:) excited#fen art#fen redacted art#milo greer#redacted milo#redacted fanart
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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Brothers i might have to write some kind of fix-it fic I don’t know how many tinfoil hats I got left
#post#cant shake the feeling viktors arc won’t turn around and it will end disappointing as fuck tomorrow#I’m not a writer at all but I fear I will have to fucking Try#the most i write privately is scripts for my theoretical comics and I do that because I can’t Write write imdhdhdj but we will see#The Line music video segment guaranteed to be beautiful and gut wrenching and will change my life forever but i fear im still going#to be extremely let down by them making Literally Fucking Everything out of viktors hands#its all giving very... ''im turning into this Thing and its scary and i have no choice'' girl#viktor i love you more than life itself youre supposed to be enthusiastic about The Evolution imsmdfgjhjgfd#youre supposed to be like i cant WAIT to become a robot
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to my very cool ice skater readers and the general public i require your help
i'm not entirely sure what song(s) y/n and atsumu should skate to??? i've watched like 20 figure skating pair videos and tried to see what songs are popular. i'm definitely feeling a more upbeat kind of vibe (like i really liked alibi in this video from these two skaters who also have danced to a lot more like??? pop music?? idk what to call it) from them rather than something dramatic or sad. i do not like coldplay bc paradise was kind of cool but no so ig poll for random songs i liked/other??? i will listen to any and all recommendations anyone has like if anyone is like "oh well i've always wanted to skate to this song" LET ME HEAR IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
‼️‼️ GUYS TWO BIRDS IS NOW A BIG OPTION NOW TOO UMMM BUT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER POLL BUT MAYBE I WILL AT THE POLL'S HALFWAY MARK/WHENEVER I WAKE UP LATER WITH FEWER CHOICES ‼️‼️ (thank you @kitnootkat <33)
#mm yeah maybe i shouldn't be asking stuff and making polls this close to midnight but i'll keep this up for a bit#although maybe that means no chapter tomorrow </3333#WE'LL SEE#i know nothing about figure skating#i am trying so hard#why is it so complicated 😭😭😭#put (???) next to any song that i'm not entirely sure works at all but I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING#IM SORRY#music is so hard#what do i even tag this as
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Made my own Scarfy from AVPM!
#Im going to see a lecture by nick lang tomorrow#and I honestly never thought I'd have the chance to engage in starkid 1st hand since I dont live in america\europe#and it would take a while for me to be able to fly to a show#but nick lang is doing a lecture in my country by zoom!#so I got a ticket!#and made scarfy in 4 days to celebrate#starkid#team starkid#starkid musicals#avpm#starkid avpm#avps#starkid avps#nick lang#avpsy#starkid avpsy#puppets#lgbtq#scarfy
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im thinking abt enemies to lovers royal!au with prince!minho and princess!reader where they are supposed to get married to unite their kingdoms and they're on some kind of royal ball and they have to dance together and as theyre waltzing the tension is there and its thicc and they just hate each other so much that its the only thing that occupies their minds and they dont see the world outside themselves ((bc they hate each other sm of course)) and and *explodes*
#im just gonna leave it here#btw this is what listening to classical music while studying does to my brain#n e way#i gotta go and study bc i have an exam tomorrow and i know shit😀#byeee ily see u soon😽😽😽#- 🌱𖥻 [ merin's random hours ]
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...
#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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I was calling my friend a loser today and he said that he can't be a loser because he didn't like musicals and I almost instinctively went "PAUL??" and he immediately questioned whether they had accidently made another musical reference and i just had to nod at him
#im sorry alex ily#but theres really no escaping the references#im gonna call him paul when i go into school tomorrow to see how he acts#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#paul matthews
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davey calling jack ‘jackie’ and jack calling davey ‘dave’….. i love them
#newsies#davey jacobs#jack kelly#even in a non ship context im obsessed w it#every time i see the bit in the musical or people in fanfics writing it#i have to take a second#and implode a little while squealing#anyway just watched west end newsies!! will be back with thoughts tomorrow#javid
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me: there's no way i can write even a considerable amount of the taob chapter before the end of the month like i promised personal things have just got to me it's not happening no way
me regardless: *putting in my earphones. looping vogel im kafig. opening the doc*
#VOGEL IM KAFIG BEST WRITING MUSIC BTW!!!!#like yes i KNOW my mates are gonna be here in minimum 2 hours bc it's the last student night of the term and we're all going out#AND there's drama so everyone's a bit buzzed#(someone find analysis on the impacts of drama/gossip on the local female pack bc it's SO funny it's like we reach a higher state of being)#BUT STILL I FEEL I CAN STILL GET AT LEAST A GOOD PORTION DONE#AND IF I GET ENOUGH DONE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FINISH IT TOMORROW WHEN I GET HOME#like i already (only) have 3k words written so it's not like im starting from scratch#hmmmm. we shall see#taob updates
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"What if I really was someone else, very far away on the other side of a television screen?"
#yes this is inspired by i saw the tv glow#oh wow! i wonder what this ones about?#/j#anyway never let me listen to sad music after 9 at night#cuz ill draw shit like this#it was either this song or willard by will wood#i dunno how to even tag this aside from#i wish i was my sona#but hey#its a persona for a reason#Spotify#anyway im gonna go to sleep mode now#ill see how this does tomorrow
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absolutely fascinating conclusion i am coming to, unsure how to feel about it
#can't confirm it but it does really come across like my sis and her gf are now actively avoiding talking to me#which..... ok????#like i... sort of understand but at the same time... literally why#also that shit kinda hurts 👌#and i love that we only play games when THEY want to anyway but thats been an ongoing issue#should i message them? probably. will i? probably not.#if they want space then fine#i can only think of one reason WHY they would want that and quite frankly? its a kinda dumb reason#and quite honestly i have MORE cause to not want to talk to my sister right now but#whatever <3#sorry im just ranting bc i asked if they wanted to play games like 3 days ago and they said 'maybe tomorrow'#and then i see them launching the game just now 🙃 but they haven't talked to me since then🙃🙃#sure dude thats fine thats chill#i will continue to blast my music and try and write smth#shh ac#seriously shut up
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🚂 The cat of the railway train! 🚂
#my art#cats musical#cats the musical#skimbleshanks#very fitting considering im going to bochum tomorrow to see stex!#anyway did you know i love this man
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oooh, i need to knit four (4) rows of this shawl every day until the end of the month to finish by the recipient's birthday. which isn't, like. bad. but it ALSO doesn't take into consideration that, a.) the early rows will be much quicker than the later rows, b.) i've got three (3) lil non-negotiable deadlines to hit by or before then, too, or c.) i've been backburnering the knitting and doing like. MAYBE. two rows a day so far.
#text#personal#writing#knitting#in btw#rell#driscoll#no i dont know why im like this either#i dont MEAN to put Stress on all my hobbies and YET!!!!#like its not the end of the world if i miss the birthday deadline but i feel bad cuz i didnt have a chrimmus gift for her and she did for me#so i would LIKE to have this for her on her birthday (which is when ill see her)#if i can knock out the microfic tomorrow and maybe poke at a first page ill be good??#i think??#then i can life admin and knit later tomorrow#i should try to do more rows while theyre small#frog boiling etc#they still dont take many minutes per row at this stage so that helps!!#and i am getting the hang of the lace i think#i cant do it while listening to anything more intense than music tho#convos are no go#COULD probably do a couple rows on lunch at work tho 👀👀#anyway im also not reading now which is what i MEANT to be doing#gosh i miss reading also#it hasnt been that long but its been nonfic for a while so it feels long#portia shawl
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