#then i spent the past few days looking at models online and wondering whether it's prudent or not to blow a couple hundred on gunpla

[locria-writes]

An Absinthian Ballad Masterpost

Synopsis

Born as a daughter of no expectations, there is little you hope for in life. Disliked and neglected by your father, and ignored by your stepmother, your marriage has always been forgotten and unspoken, even when you make your societal debut. But your quiet and mundane life changes soon after, as you find yourself in the midst of court intrigue, family drama, and arcane affairs.

Intended for a mature audience; contains scenes of violence, child abuse/neglect, toxic/unhealthy relationships, etc.

Set in a late 19th century/early 20th century western European-esque country.

ROs

Ignazio de Felice |  A young arcanist from Illisione who arrives in Alayonte to aid in an investigation regarding strange magical occurrences. He's driven by his desire to protect others, and is acutely aware of his status as a commoner amongst the ranks of nobility. He's 3 years older than the MC.

Wolfram von Auer | The haughty young future Landgrave of Sakland who is fiercely proud of his lineage. He has little qualms of speaking his own mind, and looks down on those he considers to be of 'inferior stock' or 'poor moral character'. Despite that, he's a true loyal friend with strong morals. He's the same age as the MC.

Oskar von Vogel | The awkward and idealistic second son of the Duke of Märgengrim, and MC's maternal half-cousin. He grew up spending every summer with the MC, in which he tended to bully her, but was sent away to military school by his family to temper him into something more respectable. He's just shy of a year older than the MC.

Edmund von Brandt | The flirtatious and flippant Duke of Lohenstan whose reputation is in tatters, despite his great wealth and lineage. He was once a trusted retainer of the King, but strangely fell out of favour, and has since been rumoured to indulge in a life of debauchery. He's 16 years older than the MC.

Valentin Sonnen | A brusque and aloof commoner who rapidly climbed the ranks of the military to become a respected military official. He is considered one of the King's favourites in court, despite his questionable morals, and 'dirty' background as the son of a common whore. He's 6 years older than the MC.

Lothar von Metzger | The charming and gentlemanly Count Palatine of Metzger who inherited his position after his adoptive father's mysterious death. He is one of the King's favourites, and the esteemed Court Arcanist, renowned for his almost spotless reputation. He's around 7 years older than the MC.

Einar | A mysterious and ageless magus who takes a great interest in the MC.

Links

Tag | Dashingdon | itch.io | Old Demo | Lore | Snippets | Aesthetics |

[asexual-society]

Asexuality and Me (It's Kind of a Long Story) by @darcyshire

I had my first boyfriend when I was in my early teens. He was a good friend, we got along very well, and he remains to this day very special to my heart. We were together for just a few months — not so uncommon for a junior high relationship — and I broke up with him because I was pretty sure he was going to try to kiss me. Not anything more than that, nothing “too far” for a pair of 13-year-olds, but that was too much for me. I apologized profusely, and he was upset because he didn’t understand what the issue was — because I couldn’t tell him. It sounded so dumb.

I had a few more boyfriends in the next couple years, and every time it was the same: if I felt that things were moving past holding hands or hugs, I ended the relationship. I was a serial dumper, never the “dumpee”. 

When I made it to high school, I had a group of friends, some of whom identified as lesbians. I was intrigued by the comfort they had in their relationships with other girls, so I wondered, “Am I maybe gay, and that’s why I keep breaking up with boys?” I thought about it and realized that no, I did often find myself having crushes on boys I knew well and enjoyed the company of. I also had those feelings for a few girls I knew well. I toyed with “bisexual” as a label, and used that privately, in my own head only, until I came across the term “pansexual” online, which I felt was a perfect description of the feelings I was having (minus the sex part). Gender didn’t matter when it came to crushes; I liked who I liked, and that was that.

When I had my first “real” boyfriend, I was 15. He asked before he kissed me the first time, and it turned out that I didn’t hate it. I did hate when he brought up sex. At the time, I was involved in my church, and I was opposed to sex outside of marriage, so the idea of going against that was upsetting. I wanted him to stay with me, so I went along with some of what he wanted — and it made me feel disgusting. Same thing with my next boyfriend; I dreaded anything to do with sex. I thought about whether it might feel different if I was with a girl instead, but with my involvement in a fairly conservative church community, I felt it wasn’t safe to try. 

When I met my now-husband, I felt none of the pressures I had felt before. He quickly became my best friend, and we got along incredibly well. He and I had similar values when it came to saving sex for marriage, so I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of our relationship. We dated for 4 years before we got married, and I was absolutely, 100% sure that marrying him was what I wanted, and what would make me happy. Our pre-marital counsellor had asked if waiting for sex had been difficult; my husband said yes, and I said absolutely not. I truly spent no time thinking about it. As our wedding date approached, however, I started to get very anxious. So much so that my own therapist suggested not “doing the deed” on our wedding night, to take the pressure off and make the experience less nerve-wracking. (I ignored her recommendation, and everything went mostly fine.)

For the first few weeks of our marriage, I was pretty indifferent about sex. I wasn’t interested in it, but my husband was, so I participated at his request. It wasn’t exciting or enjoyable for me, but it wasn’t something I was terrified of until a few months later, when I started having feelings of deep distress afterwards. I would wait for him to fall asleep, and would go out into our living room and cry; sometimes I had thoughts about self-harm or suicide. I became deeply depressed (more than I had ever been before, as depression has been a part of my life for many years), and my husband noticed that I was never initiating intimate experiences. We were married in August 2019, and the last time we had sex was February 2020, because I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stop asking myself what was wrong with me. What was broken? Was it because of my previous relationships? Was my depression making me frigid? (Of course, I never considered the fact that sex had been of no interest to ever, even when everyone around me was thinking about it constantly). 

[This is a long story, so my apologies that it’s a bit rambling. Now to the good stuff!]

I was scrolling Tumblr in the early months of 2020, and I came across the term “asexual”. I’d not really heard much about it before, but from the short description, it seemed like it fit my experience. I did some online searches, and came across a document from AsexualityArchive.com called “Asexuality: A Brief Introduction.” I read the whole thing in an afternoon and found myself literally crying, because I felt so relieved. I learned that day that there was nothing wrong with me, that there were other people who also had no interest in sex — some were even repulsed by the very idea of taking part in sexual experiences, like I was. I told my husband, fearing he would leave me, and he was incredibly loving, gracious, and accepting. He loves me for my personality, not for what I can offer him sexually.

I started using the label “asexual”, (‘ace’ for short), and felt really comfortable in that. When I learned about the split-attraction model that many aspec folx use, I changed my labels to “panromantic/asexual” (pan-ace), because that fit even better. When I began to question my own experience of gender and sexuality, and got involved with the rainbow community, I decided that “queer ace” was the best fit of all, and that’s where I’m at today. I’ve come out to my family as queer, and was unfortunately outed to my husband’s (conservative Christian) family before I was ready, but after the fact, I am glad the people closest to me know that being queer is am important part of my identity. 

Only my husband, my mom, and a few close female friends know about my asexuality (outside of the online queer communities I’m a member of), because I’m tired of hearing people say things like, “maybe it’s just your depression”, or “you should see your doctor about that”. Plus, it’s mine and my husband’s private business how we conduct our sex life, not anyone else’s. I didn’t know there was a word for people like me until early 2020, but I’ve been ace my whole life; looking back on things now, I can find many indicators of asexuality starting from before I was even a teen. 

I’m now 24 years old and a proud member of the queer and aspec communities. I hope that my story might give hope to others who have been asking themselves why they have so little interest in sex. It’s not a defect — it’s just the way we were made. As a person of faith, this realization has meant the world to me. 

[all-things-are-nothing-to-me]

An Obituary for Identity Politics

I began writing this text about a couple months before the uprising in response to George Floyd’s death. The uprising, which now has become a global event, has motivated me to share my perspective in this text. My experiences in Minneapolis from the 26th through the 31st of May have furthered my contempt for identity politics and so I have included additional critiques of it based on those experiences.

Rewind back to a time and place where people used pagers and pay phones. When front porches and public parks were the hang-out spots. A time when conflicts were resolved face-to-face and shit-talking came with real life consequences. These were the days before ‘call-out culture’, ‘troll-baiting’, and other internet-dominated social activities. Some say the internet and technological expansion have advanced the fight against oppression. My opinion? The internet is where all potential for social revolt goes to die. In addition to pointless petitions and endless memes, recognition as a rebel can be gained through pity parties and academic loyalty rather than hands-on direct action. While providing an excellent breeding ground for keyboard warriors and pretentious academics, the internet also allows for the stunted development of social skills necessary in navigating face-to-face communication. Conflict resolution takes the form of indefinite internet drama and at most an awkward in-real-life re-construction of judge, jury, and executioner. Face-to-face interaction is almost unnecessary in the techno-society where phones have become a personalized commodity seemingly fused to one’s hand. From a screen with adjustable dimming, a full spectrum of emotional expression can now be digitally represented from a cache of emoticons.

The internet is also a place where the lynch-mob mentality of “call-out culture” encourages people to view one another as one-dimensional beings – only defined by mistakes and imperfections. In the name of ‘social justice’ and ‘outing abusers’, a new statism emerges, utilizing fear and guilt to coerce allyship conformity. And similar to being charged by the State, once condemned on the internet, an individual may never escape that reputation. Instead, any or all personal growth and development remains trivial to the static nature of their past mistakes. Despite personal improvement, a convicted individual is sentenced to forever remain captive by the essence of their online portrayal.

In my experience as a ‘marginalized voice’ I’ve seen identity politics used by activists as a tool of social control aimed at anyone who fits the identity criteria of ‘oppressor’. The traditional power-struggle for equality has turned into an olympic sport for social leverage, inverting the same social hierarchy that should have been destroyed in the first place. Many identity politicians I’ve come across are more interested in exploiting “white guilt” for personal (and even capital) gain than physically confronting any organizational model of white supremacy. I’ve witnessed victimhood used to conceal blatant lies and bullying, motivated by personal revenge. All too often I have seen how identity politics creates a culture where personal experiences are trivialized to the point of passive silence. But this is all old news. Any experienced, self-identifying anarchist has seen or probably experienced some form of being ‘called-out’ or ‘cancelled’. So why do I bring it up? Because I still see this shit happening and I still see so many people lacking the courage to openly confront it.

I don’t expect this text to bring identity politics to a grinding halt. I am merely expressing my hostility for it and its authoritarian, anti-individualist nature. I still see self-proclaimed anarchists fussin’ over ‘white’ dreads (as well as seeing people cut their dreads under social pressure). I still see people justify voting like they did for Obama (this time it’s for Bernie). And I still see ‘allies’ mumbling frustration under their breath, too scared to confront the authoritarianism they see right in front of ‘em.

How many ‘white’ anarchists were called racist (or privileged) and shamed for refusing to vote this past 2020 election?

Imagine what anarchy would look like if people refused to obey the condescending demands of identity politicians. Would people feel more free to explore their lives beyond the narrow limitations of prescribed identity? Would they fearlessly reclaim their power to formulate their own opinions? Is there a joy to be experienced in the hysterical mockery of academic elitism?

Would this text be less valid if it wasn’t written by a queer person of color? What if I was a ‘white’, ‘cis’ ‘male’? Why would it matter?

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t. Because after all, this isn’t just about identity. This is about anti-authoritarian anarchy. If there is one thing I have seen the most in the past few years, it’s how identity politics moves like a plague, consuming every social space — ironically including anarchist circles. For me, anarchy is about destroying socially assigned identity and all the limitations it imposes upon the imagination. Anarchy is an individualist experience that finds itself held captive by the prison of assigned identity. Rather than destroying that prison along with the society that constructs it, anarchism today has become a cemetery of dead potential, internalized victimhood, and an ideological competition for who is ‘most oppressed’.

Rather than taking aim at identity itself and the apparatus maintaining this paradigm, energy is spent tearing one another down, ignoring the complexity of individual uniqueness, and playing the State’s role of defining each other based on membership to identity categories. Embracing a particular identity only reaffirms that identity’s existence as a ‘universal ‘truth’ – and therefore, by the colonial intentions of assigned identity, the servitude and enslavement of some to others as a universal truth as well.

I refuse to participate in upholding enslavement as a condition of my existence, and therefore these ‘truths’ are nothing more than political works of fiction. They are the products of a well-perfected, socially engineered god-complex that enters the mind like parasitic cordyceps, demanding unquestionable obedience. The atom of mental manipulation is a mind institutionalized by the incarceration of industrial society. Identity politics are the antiquated chains of colonization, polished by those who assign personal value to them. These ‘truths’ are the social constructs of control, keeping the life of rebellion shackled in a cold well of reform. And while many have become comfortable there, I have broken out to explore the infinite unknown terrain of hedonism and anti-political anarchy. ‘Black’, ‘Brown’, or ‘White’ power is the antithesis of freedom; it is the ideological charity work of a civilized, humanist form of rebellion. Identity politics is the sterilization of individuality, rendering it both obedient to the collectivist authority of identity and gullible to the nationalist myth of supremacy.

Ultimately, the ‘human’ is an animal domesticated with labels socially constructed to correspond to a hierarchy of economic status. And though this hierarchy has changed over the years, it is constantly held in place by a relationship of those who make demands and those who obey. No matter how the categories are arranged, the hierarchy represents authoritarianism; the group dominating the individual. What defines a ‘human’ is the degree of obedience and commitment to civilized roles and behaviors required by industrial society. The less cooperative a ‘human’ is, the more likely that ‘human’ will be compared to an animal. The animal is the undesireable being – even for the identity politicians who prefer to adopt the colonizers’ ideological anthropocentrism. Perhaps this explains why there is such little discussion on animal liberation in leftist-anarchist writing. The marginalized voice is more concerned with being portrayed as equal to the civilized colonizer than with the lost connection between their animality and the earth. At the core of leftist politics is the humanist aim for social equality within industrial progress — all while the earth continues to be cut up into nation-states and ravaged for anthropocentric exploitation and expansion.

It is my opinion that as long as one maintains a personal relationship with the ‘human’ identity, similar to ‘white’ or ‘male’ identities, the individual will only continue to reinforce the colonial paradigm of civilized vs savage. And as long as this reinforcement continues, the individual also remains vulnerable to imprisonment within other identity constructs that further suppress feral potential.

I wonder when or if anarchists in general will move beyond the group-mentality of leftism toward individualist insurgency — recognizing confrontation with identity as an act of personal emancipation. Will anarchists one day come to realize that anyone or anything above the individual represents an authority figure – whether it be “The Commune”, the “Movement”, or the cultural governance of identity? Maybe some, but I am sure not all.

The Victimhood Saint

After a 45 minute drive we finally arrive. It’s been a long day of retail theft and this is the last stop. It’s my turn and I plan to walk out with at least $500+ worth of merchandise for online resell. But I’m already gettin’ a bad feeling from this place. Unlike the other locations, this store is much smaller which to me means Loss Prevention will have a visual advantage watching the doors. Bigger places mean the enter and exit doors are spread further apart. In addition, the bigger the store, the more difficult it is to keep track of every shopper through the cameras. I decide to go for it anyways. Never know anything for sure until ya try.

I walk in, grab a cart and begin searching for the specific items I plan to take. I also scan the check out lanes and customer service desk. Two customer service employees busy chatting, check out lanes all blocked off except the one near the entrance and two near the exit. The entrance lane has a worker wiping down carts. One exit lane has a cashier, the lane next to it is totally empty. I take note of it as looking “too easy”, but I decide to refocus on where my items are located in the store. After loading my cart I start my journey to the exit. For anyone who shoplifts for a living, they know this is the exciting part. Every moment up to this point I’ve been just a regular shopper. But now, as I walk toward the exit, I begin to shed the costume of “shopper” and prepare for the criminal experience of “shoplifter”. As my heart starts to pound I feel my nerves initiate a well — developed calming response where I temporarily disassociate from the panic in order to keep my senses sharp and focused. I have to be ready for anything. And I still have to maintain my “regular shopper” face and body language. As I pass through the “too easy” lane everything looks good.

Customer service people are still chatting not paying attention, the one cashier is too busy ringing up someone to notice. I pull out my fake receipt and casually make my way through the first set of exit doors. If I was seen or caught, this is about the moment I would hear someone approach me from behind or feel someone grab my shoulder. Out the second set of doors, all is good. Time to start making my way toward the back of the parking lot – and then it happened...

Anyone who has ever shoplifted long enough knows these dreaded words: “Sir... Sir!”. I hear someone behind me yell out. I pretend to not hear it. Then I hear quick footsteps approach from behind. “Sir, I need to see your receipt” he says as he flashes me his Loss Prevention badge. Fuck. Where did this clean-cut lookin’ hipster see me? Must have been in the clothes area behind me... maybe that lane was a fucking trap? Doesn’t matter. Let go of the cart and walk away. I start to walk away and I hear “No no...sir we have to go back inside and fill out paperwork. Don’t worry you will not be arrested”. Yeah, fill out paperwork with all my information, have my picture taken for their records – fuck that. I continue walking away. Another LP runs out and is on the phone. This guy is on the phone with the police. I instantly realize the first guy was secretly stalling me till the police got there! I break out in full run. I hear them both running close behind me. I cross the street and bolt into a trailer park, zig zag between trailer homes and finally hide out in a steel shed. I force my paniced breathing to quiet deep breaths. I calm down and listen to them searching for me nearby.

Finally after not hearing them anymore I text my accomplices a rough idea of where I am. I come out of the shed, trying to tidy up a couple things that fell inside from when I stormed in there. The cops will be here any second. I see my accomplices car slowly drive by and wave em down. I jump in and lay down and we drive off.

I should have trusted my instinct. This was a bad run. But it could have been worse. Instead of being in jail tonight, I am comfortably here writing this text. But this is the reality of shoplifting – or any crime for that matter. No matter how many times you get away with it, it is important to expect to get caught one day. Be ready for it. And when it happens, study the panic, the emotions, the physical responses... know it all well. So the next time you engage in criminal activity, you have a better understanding of the worst case scenario. For me, this is elementary, and there is no place for victimhood or or an outcry of innocence.

While Covid-19 created the conditions for state repression in the form of “stay-at-home” orders, ironically my opportunity for illegalist fun has expanded! Many businesses are left unattended for weeks at a time, meaning property damage goes longer without being reported. In the midst of the panic, supermarket Loss Prevention and security personnel are focused on the number of items people purchase in each cart without realizing the cartloads of food quietly slipping out the other door.

Before shutting down, many stores like REI, L.L Bean and other places would deactivate their security towers. I am guessing this was due to the high volume of people passing through with purchased merch with hidden tags still attached. Probably to avoid the annoyance of the alarm going off every few seconds, the towers were turned off, leaving open a grand opportunity to simply walk out with security tagged items hassle-free.

The past few weeks got me revisiting old memories of when my understanding of anarchy was that of an activity that only lasted as long as a may day march, a demonstration, or night-time fun. I remember feeling like anarchy was the moment I wore black pants, shoes, gloves and a t-shirt around my face. After these activities it was back to the “real world”. Back to wage-slavery, back to the daily routine of paying rent and penny-pinching my food stamps for groceries. Sure, there was the occasional clandestine activity along with tabling zines at punk shows or radical events. But there was this divide that always created a separation, always treating anarchy like an extra-curricular activity. Sure, my life was committed to rebellion; the very concept of a zine distro before I named it “Warzone Distro” was conceived while wasting company time on the shitter. Despite wage-slaving, my mind was always fixated on understanding how to cut corners and work the least for the most amount of money. I was the worker who handed my extra hours over to others. Half-day at work due to light truck load? Hell yeah, I’m out!

Over time, anarchy as mere extra-curricular activity just wasn’t enough. And what I mean by that is I became less and less tolerable of bosses, wage-slaving, alarm clocks, paying rent, and penny-pinching. I remembered what it was like being a kid and not having to conform to such obligations. I remembered adventuring all day outside from early morning to late at night. Everyday was a new adventure, and everyday I was learning something new about myself. Then, as a responsible adult I was learning something new about myself. I hated adultism, adulting, and the performative role and identity of “adult”. But I wasn’t tryin’ to become a child again. Those days have come and gone. I began to wonder what an anarchist life that transcended the adult/child binary could look like.

Fast forward years later here I am, jobless but no longer penny-pinching, and older but more youthful than I have ever been. Some say I am the worst of all worlds; hedonistic, violent, and childish. Of course, what these words mean and how they are applied to me is subjective to interpretation, but one thing is for certain; I feel far more free than I have ever felt and experienced. And I have a love affair with crime. It is an intimate experience — committing crime with a furious contempt for society and the law. Causing disruption and getting away with it compliments my desires for anarchy moment by moment. Nowadays I adventure all day outside from early morning to late at night. And with every criminal activity I am learning more and more about myself. In addition to accepting the fact that my days of joy-riding the fuck out of life will either end in prison or sudden death, I am learning to appreciate the present more than the past or future.

One thing about crime that I have come to realize is a uniqueness that comes with breaking the law, a sense of individual ability, inability, strengths and weaknesses. All are discovered within the experience of breaking the law. And it is this experience that I intend to expand in order to discover more about myself, becoming ungovernable in an anti-social sense.

I reflect back on my past self imprisoned by the cult of identity-politics. I remember how one reason to glorify victimhood was to gain social attention and portray the (marginalized) identities assigned to me in a positive light. “Look at me! A responsible queer person of color holding down a job as a law-abiding citizen!”. But why? So I could prove how similar I was to all those ‘white’ hard-working class heroes that America needs to uphold its colonial establishment? Another wage-slave to passively, willfully accept the conditions of my enslavement? To become another christian of color pretending there is an imaginary kingdom above for all us hoodlums that just never got a fair chance in life? Fuck all that.

The reasons for white supremacists, homophobes, patriarchs, and patriots to fear people like me is beyond identity politics; I am a sworn enemy of their control and order. The societal castle they seek to build and maintain will always be the target of my sabotage!

I think most people can see and understand that embracing socially assigned identities is not necessary for understanding how society utilizes them as tools for social control. I think it is equally as easy to see how identity as a tool of revolution is limited and in fact has led to internal conflict within many revolutionary projects. But what blows my mind is the fact that for so many, these identities were not immediately rejected as a primal, personal form of rebellion. But to be fair I think it is safe to say that these identities maintained the power they do because they are so frequently used by leftist organizations for moral persuasion. Through victimhood and innocence, identity politics is used as an appeal-to-all method of creating group-think that ultimately encourages an individual to surrender independent thinking to a god-complex of morality and collectivism. I think this also plays a pretty big role in statism and the rejection of illegalist revolt.

I reject the statist, civilized binary of guilt and innocence, and therefore also reject the internalization of victimhood. I have no use for “call-out culture” or an internet lynch-mob against my enemies. On the internet, attempts to gain public support against one enemy only informs and empowers another enemy (the state) to confiscate my responsibility. And guilt and innocence is a legalistic binary that only serves to judge and divide based on moral determination. I despise the State, all its social manifestations, and it’s enforcement of repression against chaos. Therefore I am not a victim; I am a self-declared enemy in a war against it. I don’t expect pity, a pardon or charity from it, nor from its defenders.

It was the day Chicago issued its Stay-At-Home order. My partner-in-crime and I were in my home town visiting my mom. While driving home from getting my mom some groceries I notice someone sitting on a park bench alone. “Big Momma” is her name. I was surprised to see her outside in the cold and not indoors at one of the local shelters. Come to find out the shelters had closed their doors probably related to Covid-19. I started to wonder how many others were outside in the cold...

My partner and I head over to a park that I used to do Food Not Bombs at and to my surprise there are about 20 people set up camp outside a building’s air vent blowing out warm air. We walk over and ask how everyone is doing. Some people, after recognizing me from activist projects years ago, excitedly run over to greet me. They are all the unlucky ones locked out of the shelters at least for that weekend. My partner and I get back in the car and come up with a plan.

A half hour later we are at another grocery store. Unlike other times, getting out of this one with free food is going to be a little difficult. The set-up has changed due to heightened security at the door due to Covid-19 and the fear of looting. But it is still possible to get out with a full cart. We load the bottom of the cart with bottled water, multiple loaves of bread, peanut butter, jelly, over 20 bags of mixed dried fruit, fresh apples and bananas. Were ready. We make our way to the door with me leading. My role is to peer around the corner at two self-check out clerks to make sure they aren’t looking. If they are, I will pull out my phone like I am making a phone call. If not, I keep walking forward. My partner and the cart close behind, the coast is clear. First set of doors... second set of doors... all good. Finally get to the car and unload into the trunk. Success! Next stop is another grocery store, but we won’t be getting food at this one: we’re raiding the men’s and women’s bathrooms for huge rolls of toilet paper. The dispensers can be a little loud opening sometimes, but relatively easy to do with any kind of house key. Two backpacks filled with about three huge rolls each, we are all set.

Back at my moms we clean our hands thoroughly before making bags and bags of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Once we finish with that were off back to the homeless encampment. Every person gets two sandwiches, two apples, two bananas, some dried fruit and a bottle of water. In addition we wrap the toilet paper rolls in the grocery bags to keep dry and pass them out. We stick around for a bit and exchange laughs and talk shit on the cops. It was good to make new friends and catch up with old friends. It was good to see they were all maintaining and in high spirits despite the circumstances of the weather and the shelter closures. We left and decided to check other parks for people. Found a few lone wolves who happily took what we had left of the water and sandwiches. We arrive back at my mom’s house and settle in for the night. I open the fridge and giggle while scanning over all the stolen vegan food contemplating what to have for dinner.

The Allyship Coward

In my opinion, the concept of “Allyship” started with good intentions, but like other aspects of identity politics became sour and ready for immediate disposal. Here is how I feel about “Allyship”: If you need a politicized buzzword and concept to motivate you to build bonds with people across gendered or racial categories, your “solidarity” is disingenuous. If your style of communicating is loaded with talking points pre-approved by some Woke Ally 101 workshop, you have become a free-range puppet. Genuine mutual aid or solidarity doesn’t require trendy twitter phrases to motivate bond building. In other words, don’t work with me only because that’s what you read is the “right” thing to do, or because your progressive college professor told you to. Don’t kiss my ass and follow me because I am a victimized, ‘marginalized’ or ‘poc voice’. Or because your friends or comrades will guilt you. Don’t let something as fake as socially constructed categories define our relationship. Work with me only if you personally enjoy our interaction, my personality and most importantly you want to out of individual desire. I don’t believe in coercive mutual aid: it makes a fool out of two people at once.

There are also those who assume they know how other people think based on racial and gendered assumptions. These are the identity politicians who act as both police and representatives of others, coercing allyship through guilt and shaming campaigns. Using their identity, they declare themselves beyond reproach while utilizing a passive-aggressive method of communication for intimidation. But in my opinion, nobody is obligated to support or listen to them, or any one, especially based on something as flat as identity. I am always weary of those who talk as if they represent the interests of people they have never met. It is foolish to think that just because people are socially assigned similar identities that every individual subscribes to the stereotypes of those identities.

Identity politics has successfully offered an understanding of how civilized society works, but as a solution to tearing it all down only leads to boundary policing identities, nationalism, internalized victimhood, and more stereotypes for people to find themselves fighting against.

Wanna know someone’s experience? Interact with them directly. Don’t make assumptions based on social constructions. Wanna show solidarity with people? Treat them as individuals with unique experiences and histories, not as mere drone members of homogenized groupings. And to those who still obey without questioning, another word for white ally is still coward!

The Woke Leadership

Personally, I don’t like to use the word “educate” to describe the communication of ideas between two individuals. “Educate” implies the instillation of universal “truths” rather than the horizontal exchange of personal perspectives. The context of which I see this word “Educate” used the most reinforces a social hierarchy between those who are “woke” and those who are not. Do people actually learn anything when the communication of ideas is asserted in a top-down manner? Maybe. But I prefer not to entertain that hierarchy.

Individual people are more than just ‘white’, ‘brown’ or ‘black’, ‘male’ or ‘female’, or whatever social construction assigned to them at birth. Therefore, communicating with identity-based assumptions will almost always come off as condescending. I see shit like “educate your friends”, or “get educated”, as if to direct toward a Church of Social Justice in order to be “awakened”. And apparently the capitalist mentality of further monetizing information is acceptable without question. Some think the ‘labor’ of answering questions merits a wage, citing something as voluminous as a Google search if one is unable to pay. Ironically, many questions come in good-faith, and are from well-intending activists who endure being talked down to in the first place. In my opinion, this elitist way of responding to well-intending people discourages their empowerment by trivializing their personal histories and guilting them into accepting others as paramount. There is a collectivism to this method of “educating” which creates the foundation of another social system of coercion. I have no interest in contributing to the materializing of that. I can offer a critical view or counter a point without socially stratifying the exchange.

I consider each and every individual mind a rushing, wild waterway of ideas that spill out when the dam of social subordination breaks down. Society collectively discourages any wildness, domesticating the individual and ultimately creating a caged animal within the mind. Beneath all the social conditioning there is a unique individual that discovers itself in chaotic contradiction with society.

Uniformity is the enemy of free expression. There is no “education”, only popular opinion enforced by those who intend to think for others. I think ideas and perspectives can be exchanged in a way that doesn’t resemble an authoritarian model of top-down communication. I’m not an educator and I seek to educate no one. Rather, as they grow and develop, I share my personal experiences and ideas with the world with the understanding that others will differ and have unique experiences of their own.

For example one thing that I have come to realize is that the illegalist life isn’t for everyone. I have seen some people do it for a while and ultimately break under the weight of the very real stress of criminal activity. So when I write these words about criminality – and my contempt for identity politics – I speak only for myself. When I began writing “Descending into Madness”, it was the same night I had walked out of a Seattle REI with two packs worth over $300 each. The security tower alarms never went off as I walked right out with two rope-style security tags attached. Prior to walking out I joked with myself that my criminal affairs indicated that I was descending into madness because attempting this was fucking crazy. And then I was successful. And I realized on the car ride home that if it wasn’t for entertaining such courageous insanity I might not have never known that some of these stores have non-operational security towers.

In my opinion, the “Woke Leadership” of leftism leads anarchism over a cliff into a downward accelerating disintegration. Paralyzed by the fear and shame enforced by a new order, some anarchists will never make it to self-emancipation, or independent thinking as a rejection of group-think authority. It is by a narrow, liberal definition of anti-oppression that many individuals define themselves as anarchists – a type of definition that limits anti-oppression to the moralist, humanist confines of civilized society. It is not a coincidence that most anti-oppression praxis requires a statist apparatus to enforce laws that accommodate equal rights. And while there’s nothing wrong with people having equal rights under capitalism, that victory celebrates the power of statist reform rather than anti-authoritarian attack. And in front of this statist power are the “community leaders” or those who have no interest in critiquing authority. Instead, they have built their socio-political careers on petty reforms in the name of “the community” and scold radicals – calling them “outside agitators”. And following behind these leaders are ‘white’ anarchist allies, confused and frustrated, trying to decide between being called a racist for setting shit on fire or a good ally for kissing a ‘black’ preacher’s ass.

“What you or I may or may not consider ‘tactical’ isn’t really relevant. This is less a war in the traditional sense and more a storm -uncontrollable and chaotic. This is one of the problems with the left’s characterization of ‘the movement’ as something uniform, monolithic, and ideologically consistent. It isn’t. It won’t be. ‘The movement’ consists of a million individuals with their own individual views and opinions and actions, and it does no one any good to deride anyone who isn’t doing things exactly the way you see fit.” Baba Yaga

Another Word For “Black Leadership” is Authoritarianism

After marching, we arrive at the 3rd Precinct at East Lake St and Minnehaha Ave. BLM organizers begin howling into the megaphone about demands, with a few prayers and droning chants mixed in. I notice someone slowly creeping up behind me who starts bangin’ his fist on the window. Concerned it will break, three bystanders begin quietly shaming him “this ain’t the place for that, keep it peaceful!”. The person responds back quietly but with angry tension in his voice “that’s the fuckin’ problem, y’all muthafuckas never wanna do shit except march and chant...”. Discouraged, he starts to walk away. “I’m with you on that shit fo real tho” I tell him. “That’s what’s up – fuck all this other shit” he responds while walking away. A minute or so later, I lose my patience for listening to BLM talk about being peaceful and decide to go look for that same individual again. I round the corner to the back of the police station and notice a commotion. A group of about 5–7 ‘black’ folks are blocking the back glass doors of the police station, arguing with a group of about 20 ‘black’ and ‘brown’ angry youth – including the one from earlier. Unable to contain my own frustration I get caught up arguing with the police-defenders as well. Finally, in the middle of the shouting a couple of ‘black’ and ‘brown’ youth begin spray painting “fuck 12” near the commotion. Cheers behind me erupt from a crowd that has now tripled in size. A brawl breaks out near the doors, and then a single rock smashes through the precinct window and is immediately followed by a hail storm of rocks, street cones, water bottles, and anything else within reach. The group of 5–7 ‘black’ pacifists cry out in desperation to stop the destruction, going as far as attempting to physically detain people, but ultimately are overwhelmed. They try to collect the rocks after being thrown and find themselves in multiple physical confrontations while doing so. People from the front of the building run over and join in on the vandalism. Eventually after every window is smashed the crowd moves toward the police parking lot and begin damaging police cars. I finally pause to catch a breath when I hear a stun grenade go off. The police run out from another door and begin shooting rubber bullets and tear gas. The crowd disperses but with hysterical laughs of joy and accomplishment. The 3rd Precinct is in ruins — and little did I know this was all just the beginning.

The very next day a bigger crowd of mostly ‘black’ and ‘brown’ youth showed up and continued to wage war on the 3rd Precinct. By night, a three mile radius was liberated from police control by the people on those streets. The 3rd Precinct was breached and taken over. Police abandoned the area all together. Their building was looted and cop cars driven into the street and set on fire. A Target across the parking lot was broken into and looted along with other stores nearby. People celebrated the victory by shooting off their guns in the air. Strangers sang and danced around burned out cop cars, exchanged high-fives in passing, and shared looted food. People casually socialized in front of burning buildings while others threw rocks through the remains of store front windows for target practice.

While it might have seemed like a perfect utopia, it wasn’t divorced from reality. Fights broke out between small factions of people and long-awaited personal conflicts were solved in the now cop-free streets. Business owners shot and killed looters and low-income housing units burned to the ground. But this is the difference between the textbook, sugar-coated ideologies of politics and raw, unmediated rage. The revolt didn’t happen due to any teachings of Mao or religious messages from a god. The fires, looting, and attacks against police didn’t need Marxism, a transcript of The Coming Insurrection, or an academic course on the history of anarchism. All that was needed was the chaotic expression of rage against representations of authority.

As expected, many people on the internet – including many self-proclaimed anarchists — passed judgement on the situation – most often coming from an ideological position that placed value in uniformity and a narrowed range of “acceptable” forms of revolt. In my experience, uprisings like this flourish best when least controlled or organized. The more that expressions of anger are controlled and organized the less anarchistic they become — essentially becoming pacified to accommodate a particular political vision. For me that is undesirable and also unrealistic. Destruction is destruction, violence will be violence, and to expect an uprising to be anything less is naive at best. While some can sit on the sidelines and moralize specific tactics or forms of emotional expression, they disregard the reality that full-fledged warfare has no inherent morality. Businesses that were boarded up and declared “black owned” weren’t spared by any moral consideration; they too were broken into, looted, and subsequently burned to the ground.

Also, in my opinion, the more uncontrollable and unmanageable an uprising remains, the less likely the police will have the ability to adapt to its formation and dominate it. The police had the least control over hundreds of individuals rebelling in such a chaotic manner as to overwhelm them and send them fleeing.

Over the next few days, attacks against the 5th Precinct happened while liberals, pacifists, and identity politicians quietly crawled back to avenge their loss and inability to control the first riot. The internet became their ground zero for one of the worst campaigns of lies and fear mongering I have personally ever seen.

As the victories of burning cop cars and police stations circulated online from all over the states, liberals rushed to the scenes in a desperate authoritarian attempt to assert their ideological morality and political program. They insist on a narrative that labels anyone who engages in sabotage as a “white supremacist” or “undercover cop” “infiltrating” the uprising.

Many of these liberals are the same ‘black’ people who failed to stop ‘black’ and ‘brown’ rebels from looting and destroying property. They failed to convince all ‘white’ people to evacuate the riots (because even some ‘white’ people knew not all ‘black’ or ‘brown’ people have a problem with them being there – recognizing their value as accomplices). And in an effort to preserve capitalist, reformist values, liberals of all races sought to halt the looting and vandalism by bombarding social media with blatantly false information. This false information is riddled with catch phrases like “outside agitators” and “white supremacists” in order to emotionally motivate readers to chose a side within a false dichotomy. And those who are not physically on the streets or there with rebels battling police are the target audience of these narrowed, inaccurate representations of reality.

Different ideological motives create different interpretations of events. And since liberals and pacifists tend to dominate social media more than those who are too busy out in the streets, they have an advantage. And since liberals morally frame all people of color as obedient, victimist heroes, most people have difficulty admitting that people of color are capable of destroying property and participating in violent forms of protest. This also plays into the compulsion to blame ‘white’ people for forms of rebellion considered morally undesirable. Riots/uprisings are not all utopian and pretty. They are the dangerous elements of liberation that occur when all other options have failed. Whether people are afraid of violence or not won’t change the fact that police kill, and will continue to kill as long as the concept of law enforcement exists. In my opinion there is no “bettering” the police, and there is no “justice” when someone is already being buried six feet deep.

And the police are not all ‘white’. ‘Black’ cops kill ‘black’ people too.

The worst part about the online interpretation of events is that the people spreading this misinformation fail to communicate to the online-world the joy, smiles, singing and dancing of racially diverse rebels as they celebrated the destruction of the 3rd Precinct.

I mean shit, imagine being a person of color, harassed by police all your life, and then a day and night comes when you actually get to see a police station burning, and police completely abandoning the area. All this is erased from history when liberals credit it all to a group of people — white supremacists — who didn’t exist in those battles in the first place.

To this day as I write this, there are still people spreading conspiracy theories on the internet like the famous “brick bait” video of cops unloading bricks (behind their own building – not in an alley as originally propagated). While I can’t say for absolute certainty that there were no white supremacists at the events at all (I mean I saw some driving past in pickup trucks yellin’ white power shit, and the ‘brown’ dude who rolled up in a truck rockin’ pro-police slogans and a confederate flag) I sure as hell didn’t see any in the battles. I have seen pictures of ‘black’ people locking arms to protect riot police, white allies turning other ‘white’ people over to the police in the name of ‘black’ support, and ultimately police regaining control and using these pacifying efforts to brutalize peaceful protesters.

Feral Delinquency

It is my opinion that the last months expose weaknesses of civilization in very obvious ways. Governmental control had increased as a panic response to social tension and spontaneous ruptures of illegal activity. Covid-19 broke the order of daily productivity and civilized slavery, leaving people more time to contemplate their lives and the value of their free time outside of working. The uprisings in response to the murder of George Floyd demonstrated the weaknesses of the police power and control – even at their own home base. At this point I have no earthly idea what will come next.

I admit to finding it fascinating to see non-human animals and the earth flourish in the midst of our industrial despair. To see clearer skies, various animals walking the streets, flooding that loosens the foundation of this concrete jungle. I can’t help but feel both the pandemic and these continued ruptures against authority are better than a return to normality; a normality where death from industrial civilization and the State is as routine as a slaughterhouse in full operation.

I wonder what kinda conversations people are having with each other or with themselves during this blooming destabilization of domesticated order. Will more and more people seize this opportunity to express anger and frustration through random acts of violence and sabotage against one another? Against law enforcement? Against the institutions that have become weaker due to financial loss and now stand more vulnerable than ever? I can only hope the uprisings continue in some capacity – above or below ground which is personally more favorable for me at this point.

Will people beg for the return of the old daily misery of monotony, or will they explore the depths of permanent uncertainty? Return to work or rewild? I guess only time will tell.

But here, I can only speak for myself. My anarchy is my own, as are my thoughts and words in this text. I don’t write to impress any club of internet anarchists who flex intellectual texts for self-congratulatory praise. I make my diary public in an antagonistic effort to mock the victimist, anti-individualist narrative of leftism which currently dominates contemporary anarchism.

I don’t wish for a return to normality and the daily misery of industrial production. I have no desire to celebrate ridiculous “victories” such as police accountability, firings, or prison terms – which will only be followed by the rebuilding of their ruined precincts or perhaps an equally authoritarian “community-based” replacement. I desire nothing less than the total abolition of all governance and policing. And perhaps those who hold some form of elitist power will find me undesirable and will orchestrate a smear campaign against me, banning my writing and “cancel” me from their Movement. But little would they know that the days and nights, between wide fields and the stars, and between the tree tops and the ground – is the domain of my adventure! And with it is a joy that follows anarchy as a vibrant life experience rather than a measure of social capital online, or a theory frozen in an academic journal.

The internet has created a culture of desperation for social continuity and digital validation. It is the breeding ground for “new” concepts of anarchism that are nothing more than communist corpses with hipster aesthetic. Anti-civ anarchy, impregnated by leftism now displays the extent of its power with endless twitter debates on “eco-fascism”. Twitter — a place where reclaiming one’s life and body is shamed by the disciples of privilege politics – is a graveyard of voices glorifying their own death-by-internet.

My animalism looks nothing like adopting the imagery and behaviors of existing animals. Instead it is the silhouette of an illegalist, feral menace dancing around the burning prison of domestication. My abandonment of victionhood is a foreclosure on both the pity politics of morality-based organizing and the sainthood of innocence. My anarchy is an obituary for identity politics. It is a personal insurgency without a future, a dream without the anaesthesia of hope, a declaration of joy with the lifespan of an exploding bomb.

This text is dedicated to all those rebels whose only negotiation with authority is fire and destruction...I am forever inspired by your courageous wrath across racial and gendered lines... To the youth who made history on May 26th, to the rebels who perished, and to those currently held captive for their part in this war against the state. RIP George Floyd

[rapeculturerealities]

Dee Rees was waiting outside a discreet home on a quiet street in Los Angeles on a warm day in June, wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the words “Arrest the President.” She led the way past her fragrant jasmine bushes, past a kidney-shaped pool, past a Great Dane the size of a tween into an intimate guesthouse that had been converted into a music studio. The walls were painted dark blue and nearly every spare inch of wall and floor held equipment: Fender guitars, synths, amps, speakers and keyboards. The floor was covered by so many power cords that they resembled an area rug. A recording of an off-key voice earnestly singing was playing loudly on a loop. Rees shot me a pained look. “I’m not a singer,” she said.

Nearby, standing at a microphone, the singer Santigold was humming along to Ree’s voice and mimicking the undulations until she knew them by heart. The musician Ray Brady, sitting at a computer nearby, cycled through a series of drum-machine sounds until they heard one they all liked, and Santigold started singing over it. The air-conditioner was off — it interfered with the quality of the recordings — and the air was dense with humidity that no one seemed bothered by.

Rees and Santigold were recording a series of demos for a big-screen futuristic opera titled “The Kyd’s Exquisite Follies.” The screenplay, which Rees had been working on for about a year, describes the journey of a young, black androgynous musician living in a small town who sets off for “It City” in search of stardom. “An outsized, sequin-spangled, sunglassed Cosmic Being leans into frame,” reads the description for the first scene. “It is Bootsy Collins if Bootsy was simultaneously tripping on acid, André 3000 and CBD Frosted Flakes with extra sugar.” Her mood board for the project features images from the cultural festival Afropunk and a dream cast of Erykah Badu, Beyoncé, Janelle Monáe and the R&B singer Syd. The whole thing almost sounded like a fantasy incubated deep in a Twitter thread, but Rees later told me that she was inspired to combine the cultural legacy of “The Wiz” with the grandeur of the “Star Wars” franchise to create a kid-friendly movie as canonical as her reference points. “I was like, ‘Where’s “The Wiz” for us, for our kids, for queer kids?’ ” she said.

Rees has been working toward this moment for nearly 10 years, assuredly moving from indie films into blockbuster cinema with the hope of establishing a creative freedom few directors attain. She is placing a thick spread of bets, in the hope that she will soon be able to play as boldly as she wants. Legacy, she told me, is her ultimate goal: “I want to create work that matters and lasts.”

At 43, Rees has already had the type of success that will outlast her. In 2011, she released her first feature film, “Pariah,” a lush coming-of-age drama about a young black woman named Alike grappling with both her sexuality and the world’s response to it. The movie won more than a dozen awards, including, most notably, the N.A.A.C.P. Image Award for Outstanding Motion Picture. Last year, the movie was included on IndieWire’s list of best films of the past decade, along with “Moonlight,” “Carol,” and “Call Me by Your Name” — movies that also feature queer narratives, though it’s worth noting that “Pariah” came out years before them. In 2017, she released her next feature film, “Mudbound,” a drama about the lives of a black family and a white family working the same plot of land in Mississippi in the 1940s. It garnered four Oscar nominations, including Best Adapted Screenplay, making her the first black woman to be nominated in the category. Her latest project, opening on Feb. 14 before streaming on Netflix, is her most Hollywood yet: Starring Anne Hathaway, Willem Dafoe and Ben Affleck, “The Last Thing He Wanted” is an adaptation of the 1996 Joan Didion novel about an American journalist investigating illicit arms sales to Central America during the Reagan administration. It is Rees’s attempt to demonstrate her range across scale, genre and star power.

But here in Los Angeles, her deepest professional desire was underway. Rees had already secured a producer for “Follies” in her longtime collaborator, Cassian Elwes, as well as a costume designer. Lucasfilm’s Industrial Light and Magic had signed on to create the visual effects. The next stage of the process was to produce a music sample that could be played for potential financiers, studio partners and distributors, to generate excitement for the project.

The main song she and Santigold were working on that afternoon was a duet between the hero, the Kyd, and an unseen entity offering support from afar. “The intention here is that the Universe is accompanying her, and she doesn’t realize it,” Rees informed the room, using her hands to show two entities orbiting around each other, the smaller one oblivious to the larger one. She described the song as a ballet, with choreography. The Universe is not a metaphor, she explained; it’s an actual character, a guiding light and love interest, which she imagined being played by Erykah Badu. The song lyrics included melancholic lines like “It was easier when no one was looking” and “People see you as they need you to be.”

Santi, as everyone in the room called her, finished singing one part and began recording another, in a lower intonation to indicate a different voice. She and Rees were building out the bones of a pivotal point in the narrative: The Kyd is reflecting on the isolation, loneliness and self-doubt that accompany a rise to stardom — feelings that Rees teased out from her own life experiences as a young director. They worked intently for nearly an hour this way, playing keyboard, looping drums, recording Santigold as she sang both parts, then pausing to get feedback. When Rees wasn’t feeling something, it was obvious: She remained silent but shook her head “no.” When she liked something, she bounced in her seat and offered affirmations like “that’s hot.”

Watching the two women work, I realized that Rees didn’t just have an idea for music, she had created an entire universe, writing all the songs, arranging the melodies and constructing a 3-D model in her head of the sets and landscape. To her, composing compelling songs and comedy numbers while grabbing milk at the bodega comes as effortlessly as directing some of the biggest actors working in Hollywood. Despite that, the biggest question about her career now is whether Hollywood will allow her the longevity she craves.

“I know this character,” Rees said at one point about the Kyd, though she might have been talking about her own journey as an artist so far. “That feeling of being trapped, wanting to be an artist, knowing the odds are against you and doing it anyway.”

A few weeks later, Rees was sitting in a small coffee shop in Harlem, not far from where she lives with her wife, the author Sarah M. Broom, who recently won a National Book Award for her memoir, “The Yellow House.” Rees had been stationed there for a while, talking to other regulars, reading the short-story collection “Heads of the Colored People,” by Nafissa Thompson-Spires, and working on her laptop. Rees is a minimalist: Everything about her has an understated elegance, from the twists in her hair to the black and camo Jordans that she likes to wear. That day, she was dressed in a tailored white-and-pink-dotted button-down shirt and carrying a backpack.

Rees told me that people often describe her success in the film industry as overnight, which feels dismissive of the years she spent hustling for “Pariah” and glosses over the years that she struggled to sell pilots and feature films since then. “I’ve spent 12 years slugging away,” she said. She’s quick to point out that most of her work has not made it to market.

Rees said her strategy is to work on “five things at once and see which one sticks.” Each time we talked, she was working on a new project. Once it was a television show about a black police officer in the South, set in the 1970s. Another time it was a potential collaboration with a black playwright. This is both a survival tactic designed to navigate the ever-changing tides of a mercurial entertainment industry and perhaps also a defense mechanism: better not to get too attached to a project that doesn’t get picked up. The gap years after “Pariah” taught her to be strategic.

“For me, everything still comes with a grain of salt,” she said. “I never trust if it’s going to happen until you see a grip truck pulling up.” Many black women who make a compelling, noteworthy debut never manage to make a second feature — think of Julie Dash or Leslie Harris, whose names you might not know but who are responsible for, respectively, the indie films “Daughters of the Dust” and “Just Another Girl on the I.R.T.” “It seemed like people wondered if that was a fluke,” she said about “Pariah.” After “Mudbound,” she felt that question of her directorial ability has been answered. “Now it’s just about, How much do I get to do?”

From Rees’s vantage, this is the time to be working as quickly and furiously as she possibly can to get all of her dream projects off the ground — not just “Follies” but also a lesbian horror film she plans to write with her wife and a sci-fi graphic novel that she can eventually adapt for the screen. “It’s a creator’s market,” she told me. “There are more canvases, and not just feature films. You can work online, you can make different kinds of TV. You can make your thing, and they’ll come to you.”

Rees was referring, in part, to streaming services, specifically Netflix, which financed and is distributing “The Last Thing He Wanted.” Over the past five years, Netflix has done the same for hundreds of original shows and movies, many of which are critically acclaimed and attract as much attention and accolades than the offerings from traditional movie studios. In 2019, Netflix released 60 films, and analysts estimate the company spends more than $8 billion on original content a year. “We’re not a 100-year-old studio or own intellectual property like Disney does,” Scott Stuber, the head of films at Netflix, told me. “We don’t have an archive or a library, so it’s very important strategically to get in business with filmmakers like Dee, Alfonso Cuarón, Martin Scorsese, and that is our differentiator.” Netflix’s elbowing into Hollywood has propelled other companies to follow suit, including Disney, Hulu, Apple and Amazon, all of which now produce exclusive streaming content. Netflix’s dominance is likely to be challenged in the coming years, but the company has already reshaped consumer standards, including the expectation that people can watch high-quality, Oscar-worthy first-run entertainment from the comfort of their couch.

To stay competitive, traditional studios now have to pay attention to what those services are doing and try to beat them at their own game. Many of the directors making the best material are coming from the indie world, Rees reminded me: Ryan Coogler, Ava DuVernay, Barry Jenkins. “And it’s not because of altruistic reasons but because of moneymaking reasons,” she said. “Studios are realizing it’s profitable to keep their eyes open. Netflix forced the rest of the industry to take more risks. The advantage for filmmakers is that they’re making it impossible for the rest of the industry to be dismissive or willfully ignorant, and they make the industry consider films and filmmakers that they might not have considered.”

Rees also pointed out the desire for content aimed specifically at black consumers, noting that studio heads and industry leaders were finally paying attention to the black appetite: “We’re the consumers and we’re the producers. And we’re saying: No more ‘Green Book.’ We’re not interested in that.” Though Rees tends to avoid social media and the internet, she sees them as levers for this radical change. “The gatekeepers can still modulate production, but they can’t modulate awareness in the same way,” she told me. “With that awareness comes a hunger, and it sustains a stable of artists.”

In the 1970s, Rees’s parents bought a home in a largely white neighborhood in Nashville. Her father was a police officer; her mother, a scientist at Vanderbilt University. When I first asked Rees to describe her childhood, she told me it was a “typical, boring suburban experience.” She was an only child who liked to lose herself in video games, “Garfield” comics and Choose Your Own Adventure books. The family was solidly middle class. “At the grocery store, it was my job to hold the calculator and calculate the grocery bill as we went along,” Rees recalled fondly.

But Rees’s “typical” childhood also included anecdotes about growing up adjacent to white people who questioned her family’s presence in their midst. Neighbors hung Confederate flags as curtains. Kids toilet papered their trees, prank rang the doorbell, ripped up the roses that her mother planted in a wagon wheel. People regularly tossed garbage in their yard as they drove or walked by. “It was my job to pick up that trash,” Rees said. “They always seemed to be looking at us like, ‘How can you be here, how can you have more than us?’ ” Rees’s father often parked his police car outside their home to “let people know not to [expletive] with us,” Rees said. “You were constantly bracing for it, preparing for it and trying not to let it provoke you, as it was meant to do.” These incidents, and the questions about belonging they raised, can be felt in all her films.

Rees graduated in 2000 from Florida A&M University with a master’s degree in business administration and worked in marketing for a series of health and beauty companies. Rees envisioned herself as Marcus Graham, one of the young black advertising professionals in the movie “Boomerang.” “I really thought I’d be working with people like Strangé,” she said, referring to the eccentric Grace Jones character who gives birth to a perfume bottle in a cosmetics commercial. None of the jobs lasted more than a year, but the detour was productive: She went on a commercial shoot for a client, Dr. Scholl’s, and followed the production assistant around out of curiosity. She was energized watching the work, prompting her to reconsider her career trajectory. She was accepted to New York University’s graduate film program in 2003.

Rees had never been to art school or even touched a camera. “I had no idea what I was doing,” she said. She struggled with the assignments, which often consisted of making short film experiments. “I failed and I failed hard,” she recalled. Her professors seemed to pay more attention to the better students. “It felt like an instant divestment of interest.” By the second semester, she was considering dropping out. “On the first day, they told us that ‘only two of you will make it,’ ” she said. “And I was not the one who seemed like they were going to make it. I was like, ‘This is a waste, it’s so expensive, I shouldn’t do this.’ ” At 27, she worried that she was too old to start a new career.

Rees confessed all her fears and insecurities to her girlfriend at the time, who told her: “O.K., so there’s only going to be two of you. That means you and who else?” The pep talk helped, as did the support from a few professors, including Spike Lee, who has served as the film program’s artistic director for nearly two decades. Lee was impressed by Rees’s storytelling abilities and her eye, which already felt uniquely her own — rare for anyone, but especially students. “In my experience, very few people have a style right off the jump,” he told me recently. “It’s something that you develop over time, and she had it. I never had any doubts about her being successful. I could see that she was going to do what she had to do to get where she wanted to get.”

She felt her work began to click when the assignments moved into documentary. “That is when I found myself and found my voice,” she told me. She took a trip to Liberia with her grandmother and the budding cinematographer Bradford Young. “It just felt like no one was looking, and I felt confident and was able to make the doc.” That film, “Eventual Salvation,” tells the story of her 80-year-old grandmother, Earnestine Smith, as she travels to Monrovia, where she lived for decades, and confronts the aftermath of a devastating civil war.

She loved imagining herself into the shoes of her subjects. “It helped me be a better director, because I could see that ‘Oh, if I’d gotten this shot, it would be a better dynamic, better storytelling through body language.’ ” Rees’s graduate thesis was a short film called “Pariah,” and the strength of the script landed her at Sundance Labs to incubate the short into a feature. Lee offered guidance, and Young, still unknown, drenched the film in the shimmering, richly colored patinas that he would later use in movies like “Arrival” and “Selma.”

While at N.Y.U., Rees shortened her name from Diandréa to Dee. She was establishing a boundary between herself and the world that to this day feels as if it safeguards her personal life. She was coming out as a lesbian, which at first, her parents chalked up to an “art-school thing,” Rees said. But once they realized she was truly in love with a woman, they imploded. Her mother came to New York to try to stage an intervention. Her father was embarrassed. “Nashville is superconservative and small, and I guess word was getting around,” Rees said. Neither parent spoke to her for some time, but both came to see a screening of “Pariah” in New York in 2011. The support in the room eased their worries, as did the affiliation with Sundance. “My life wasn’t a wreck, which somehow made it more acceptable for them,” Rees said.

A common theme threading through Rees’s projects is the way the world places limits on people and whether that destroys or liberates them. The moments in her movies at which her characters confront that existential dilemma are often extremely subtle, but powerful nonetheless. In “Bessie,” the 2015 HBO movie Rees made about the blues singer Bessie Smith, we see how Smith rebels against societal expectations in her sexual fluidity, hard drinking and even in her confrontation with the Ku Klux Klan at one of her shows. But the moment that is most revealing is Smith, played by Queen Latifah, sitting fully nude at a vanity, her body shining with oil, seeing herself surrounded by the trappings of fame but ultimately alone and aging. She’s facing the choices she has made and seemingly deciding whether she’ll make different ones tomorrow. In “Pariah,” it’s the spark of possibilities reflected in young Alike’s eyes as she watches a dancer slide down a pole to Khia’s pleasure anthem “My Neck, My Back” in a gay nightclub.

What is striking about Rees’s work is that even though none of her movies are explicitly autobiographical, she still finds ways to channel her life experiences into them. Embedded in “Mudbound,” for example, is the experience of her great-grandparents, who picked cotton, but it also reflects the amorality of racial violence and how a country can fight against it in a war, while still perpetuating it at home. At the center of “The Last Thing He Wanted” is a father-daughter relationship complicated by guilt and obligation, but it’s also a thriller whose main character is determined to expose government corruption.

Rees realized early in her career that as a female director working in Hollywood, she wouldn’t have the same liberty as, say, Richard Linklater or Noah Baumbach to explore the details of her life onscreen. Rees made compromises so that she could still work on the themes that interested her most. “When I first started out, I was like, ‘I’m not going to do adaptations,’ ” she told me. “I only want to do my own stuff, but I quickly realized that I couldn’t survive because of the time it takes to get people to want to do your original thing.”

In 2014, Cassian Elwes, a longtime Hollywood veteran who has produced such films as “Lee Daniels’ The Butler” and “Dallas Buyers Club,” found himself horrified after reading about the extreme gender imbalance prevalent in Hollywood movie making. Dr. Stacy L. Smith, a communications professor at the University of Southern California at Annenberg, has found that less than 5 percent of major Hollywood movies were directed by women. People of color were also dramatically underrepresented. (Those numbers have not fluctuated significantly in the years since.) Elwes was similarly shocked to read that most young white male directors make their sophomore projects not long after their first; most women of color take years. Many of them, unable to support themselves during that gap, give up.

Around this time, two young producers brought Elwes the script for “Mudbound.” He fell in love with it, and his mind drifted to “Pariah,” which he’d seen at Sundance. Elwes sent Rees the script. A few years earlier, Rees had wanted to adapt the novel “Home,” by Toni Morrison, to explore the paradox of freedom for black Americans returning home from overseas; now she realized she could inject that desire into “Mudbound.”

“He was the first producer who was just like, ‘It’s yours,’ ” Rees recalled. “It wasn’t exploitative or like you should be grateful. He was like, ‘Whatever you want to do, let’s work it out.’ He’s believed more in me than some producers of color.”

A movie like “Mudbound” could easily be saturated with simplistic Hollywood narratives about the resilience of black people and the restorative power of interracial friendships. But Rees was not afraid to show a world where some white people are evil and none will save the black characters. Rees first impression of the script was that it was “a little too sweet.” It featured music as the balm easing tension between the two families. Rees wrote more scenes explicitly featuring the Jackson family, including one around a dinner table where they discuss their dreams of purchasing their own parcel of land, only to be interrupted by the white landowner, who demands they come unload his truck. The film finds its own emphatic language for the spectral horror of white violence in America through quiet vignettes: The tight face of a well-dressed black man, riding in the back of a white man’s dusty pickup truck. The wet and swollen face of a white woman sobbing into the arms of a black matriarch, whose resignation and fatigue can be read in the set of her mouth.

Rachel Morrison, the film’s cinematographer, who received an Oscar nomination for the film, said she was drawn to Rees’s ability to “put the audience squarely in the main character,” she told me. For example, when filming Laura, a woman at a loss for who she is in the world, the shots feature her petite, wiry body dwarfed by the soggy terrain and gaping blue sky. Rees was “uncompromising in only the best ways,” Morrison said, in a tone rich with admiration. She recalled an instance where Rees wanted a shot looking through a screen door, from the outside world into a dark home. “It was a ton of work, balancing the bright sun and dark shadows, but I was like, ‘If it’s worth it to you, I’ll do it.’ ” It was worth it to Rees. Morrison spent close to an hour manipulating the set to capture what would amount to seconds of screen time. When Morrison saw the final cut, she realized the elegance of the shot and how beautifully it articulated the difference between the two families and the worlds they inhabit. “It’s one of my favorite shots in the film,” she said.

After they finished “Mudbound,” Rees told Elwes that she wanted to adapt the Joan Didion novel. He knew Didion’s agent and was able to option “The Last Thing He Wanted.” “We took it around to all the studios, and no one would deal with it,” she said. “Netflix jumped in and saved it. But it was hard in that way. You think because it’s Joan Didion, like, of course — but nope.”

Rees struggles not to take the studios’ lack of interest in her work personally. When I asked her how she rationalized their indifference, she took her time answering, clearly weighing how much of her inner thoughts about Hollywood she wanted to air in public, staring into her coffee all the while. “When stuff doesn’t make logical sense, to me, I go to a place where there’s only one thing that can explain this. You know what I mean?” She paused again, fiddling with her latte. “It feels like a double standard, and the double standard to me is race.”

I asked her how she coped with being so demonstrably talented as a filmmaker and yet feeling thwarted in her efforts at the same time. “The only refuge I have is to do more work, to be relentless and keep making and making, and hopefully, eventually I won’t have to continue to prove that I have the capabilities.” She felt this deeply when “Mudbound” was passed over by major studios, even though it resembled a Birney Imes photograph come to life and featured mesmerizing performances by Carey Mulligan and Rob Morgan. It eventually sold to Netflix, reportedly for $12.5 million, the largest deal to come out of Sundance in 2017. “I’ve learned to go where the love is and work with who wants to work with you,” she told me. “The thing you’re up against is not new. Since first grade, the moment you enter school, you’re up against racism. But it’s still stunning sometimes.”

What remains striking about Rees is that these challenges haven’t muted her ambition. Elwes repeatedly highlighted it. “It’s gigantic,” he said, marveling. “She could be knocking out independent movies all day long if she wanted to.” But instead, with something like “Follies,” she is trying to create a pop-cultural empire. “She’s building a world, and right now in Hollywood, most people are just making another version of a comic book or a sequel or a remake,” Elwes said. Her fearlessness and talent are why he immediately agreed to help her produce and finance her sci-fi opera after she floated the idea by him in a text message. He has been hustling to raise the $80 million or so that she needs to pull it off. “It’s not a slam dunk,” he said, “but whoever takes the risk will get the reward.”

Toward the end of our meeting at the coffee shop, Rees told me shyly — a rare mode for her — that her biggest dream is to work on a major feature-film trilogy, something even more audacious than “Follies.” “I want to have a world with a black woman at the center of it, who ends up leading a rebellion,” she said. “I want to create a whole new world rather than color in somebody else’s.” The trilogy Rees wants to build takes place in a dystopic time, a hellscape devastated by climate change and out-of-control social media where people have to meet a minimum “credit” rating in order to have a decent quality of life.

Rees hopes that “The Last Thing” will be a bridge between her past work and her larger ambitions. Unlike her previous films, “The Last Thing” is a fast-paced political thriller with car chases, shootouts and body counts that includes tight close-ups and impressionistic landscape shots. The effect is claustrophobic and dizzying — a departure from Rees’s previous, more linear work — and yet the audience remains, as Morrison reflected, squarely in the perspective of Elena McMahon, the journalist at the center of it, played by Anne Hathaway. As McMahon loses her moral compass, the viewer becomes disoriented, too, and unable to keep up with the revelations, which, at Sundance, caused many critics to pan the movie.

When I spoke with Rees by phone from Sundance, right after the first reviews came in, she sounded sanguine. Her film had been “trashed,” she said, “but I still believe in it.” Then her voice perked up as she proceeded to tell me the details of a few still unannounced deals she had inked since we last saw each other. From her perspective, it seemed, the critical response was a blip in what she plans to be a long career.

Rosie Perez, who portrays a photojournalist in “The Last Thing,” told me that the day she arrived on location in Puerto Rico to shoot the film, she immediately noticed Rees’s sharp intelligence but found her aloof. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to connect with her,” she said. When it came time to work, Rees was meticulous but hands off. She set up the scene, positioning the camera with her own hands at times, and then stepped away. “It freed us up to just act,” Perez said. “She lets you do your thing. But you have to trust that she’s doing hers, too.”

Once, after a scene, Rees called cut, and Perez asked Rees if she was sure they got the shot. “She looked at me and said, deadpan: ‘I wouldn’t have moved on if we didn’t.’ ” Perez, deep in recollection, let loose that famous laugh from deep in her nasal cavity. “I was like: ‘Got it. Let me shut the [expletive] up.’ ” Her admiration for Rees was cemented in that moment.

But that wasn’t all she got from Rees, Perez told me, recalling a scene in which she and her co-star, Anne Hathaway, are running to catch a plane, dodging gunfire. “Anne is running like Catwoman, sprinting toward the plane,” Perez said. “I felt like the older lady trying to keep up.” She mentioned this to Rees, who replied, “Well, that’s your character, isn’t it?” At first, Perez’s ego was bruised. But later, Rees told her, “I hired you because you’re a kick-ass actress and also because you have the courage to look like a grown-ass woman.” At the time, Perez was splitting her time on the set of the second season of Spike Lee’s “She’s Gotta Have It,” where she was guest-­starring as Mars Blackmon’s mother. Lee didn’t want Perez to wear a lot of makeup, and Perez initially balked. But her time with Rees adjusted her priorities: “I walked onto his set, and I was like ‘O.K.’ ” Working with Rees, she said, “gave me the confidence to do that.” That, she said, was Rees’s gift. “You have to let her be who she is, in order to see what she is trying to give you.”

[henrynicholl7-blog]

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[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a fic rec of fluffy bottom Louis fics. Happy reading!

Update as of January 2019: This rec list has been updated! New fics that have been added are marked with a 🍑 emoji.

1) Pinkies Never Lie: A Christmas Drabble | Explicit | 4009 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Between the baked goods required for holiday parties and the endless stream of Christmas card photoshoots, December is always a challenging month for Harry at work. That's why this year, Louis came up with a brilliant plan to take his mind off things.

2) In That Bright White Noise | Explicit | 5060 words

Blind dates are usually destined to go terribly, so Louis doesn't exactly trust his friends when they say they've set him up with Gemma's younger brother, Harry, at an evening bonfire they're attending. Luckily, Harry's much hotter and kinder than Louis thought he'd be, which is a relief. He's also really fucking good at sex, which is just a wonderful bonus.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

4) Snow Sweet | Mature | 7111 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Christmas On Stylish Apples Orchard, A Slice/Bite of Life.

5) Casting Lines | Explicit | 7554 words

Amidst the noise - the dog whining, Jamie's shrieking, Evie's giggles and bird noises, and Daniel asking loudly, again, about ice-skating - Louis leans in to press a kiss to Harry's smiling mouth. "Hi."

Harry doesn't loosen his grip on Evie's ankles where they hang over his shoulders, but he kisses Louis back and murmurs a quiet, "Hey, love."

6) Raised on Rhythm and Blues | Explicit | 8034 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“That look on your face makes me think you’re not cooking me spaghetti fast enough,” Louis announces as he walks back into the kitchen. Harry knows exactly where Zoe gets her habits from.

“Cooking for my two beautiful and insanely intelligent children, not for the weird bloke that sleeps in my bed and eats all my food,” Harry answers, tilting his head and wondering if he should add more sauce.

7) Cease the Day | Explicit | 8195 words

In which 1D Day takes on a whole new meaning.

Instead of a seven hour livestream, the One Direction team deem it more profitable to offer an entire day spent with any one member of the band for the highest bidder. What happens when the same buyer wins both Louis and Harry for a day?

8) Tattooed Heart | Explicit | 10035 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“Is that fucking real?”

Harry grins. “Feel for yourself.”

A curious hand comes to trace over Harry’s chest, sighing in awe. “Harry.”

He watches him as he does it and wishes he had a camera on him, because the sight of Louis’ dainty hand caressing the beautiful L written in intricate cursive right over Harry’s heart has to be the single greatest thing he’s ever seen.

“Like it?” he asks.

“Harry,” Louis repeats, suddenly digging his thumb into the skin as if it was going to disappear at any second—it wasn’t, something Harry’s tattoo artist made sure of. “That’s—that’s permanent.”

“You’re permanent,” Harry replies, simple as can be.

9) Gay Happy Meetings (When Friends Come To Call) | Mature | 13951 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

The one where Louis' birthday and Christmas are filled with one too many surprises.

10) Symptoms Of The Culture | Explicit | 14612 words | 🍑

Harry's fraternity has become obsessed with the newest online game, and they'd like to think they're getting pretty good at it. Only, they keep getting killed by The Rogue, an online player who has no connection to the Frat, but seems to have a vendetta against them.

11) Don’t Put Out The Glow | Not Rated | 15007 words | 🍑

The one where Louis picks up the wrong bag on his way to Paris.

12) Dreams Can’t Take The Place Of Loving You | Explicit | 15496 words | 🍑

Harry’s watching Louis as he stands on a ladder, paint covering his arms and dripping down his legs a bit, when it occurs to him just how bare Louis’ fingers look. He knows exactly what should go there, too, but the thought of doing so sets his nerves spinning.

13) I Put A Spell On You | Explicit | 17525 words | 🍑

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

A BBC/Secret Santa mashup featuring Captain Niall, our intrepid weatherman/amateur matchmaker, rather clueless sports reporter Liam, charming political analyst Zayn, and cheeky entertainment reporter Louis. Harry is the new fashion correspondent who prefers to dress like a flamingo. And pining. There’s a lot of pining.

14) In a World Like This | Explicit | 19980 words

Just when Louis' given up on love, Niall makes him download Tinder. He's skeptical but he goes along with it. Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he swipes right for Cute Boy in his class.

Or when Cute Boys swipes right too.

And it's an instant match.

15) Then We Talk Slow | Explicit | 20493 words

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words | 🍑

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

18) Middle Ground | Explicit | 23561 words | 🍑

Harry moves to a new town for work where he meets the enigma that is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Let Me Make A Thing Of Cream and Stars | Explicit | 24914 words

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also  the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

20) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words | 🍑

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.

21) Whether Clouds or Clear Skies | Explicit | 25861 words

Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather.

22) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28862 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

23) Can’t Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

24) The List | Mature | 32094 words

In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.

25) I Know How To Whisk (But Teach Me Anyway) | Mature | 32111 words | 🍑

The one in which banana bread just might make Louis change his mind about soulmates.

26) All The Right Moves | Explicit | 32264 words

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

27) A Rhythm In Rush | Explicit | 40010 words

Harry is a WWF journalist with big dreams and Louis is a glaciologist that flies helicopters for fun. Greenland is an odd place to spend Christmas, but just maybe, the perfect place to fall headfirst into love.

28) Roots | Explicit | 43233 words

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

29) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

30) I Found A Love For Me (Darling Just Dive Right In) | Explicit | 46652 words | Sequel | 🍑

Louis, an omega with very little control. Harry, an alpha with a lot of emotion. Neither of them have any idea what do to with this little thing called love, but they'll be damned if they don't put up a good fight.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[aion-rsa]

The Biggest Geek Culture Moments of 2020

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This article contains a spoiler for The Mandalorian Season 2

2020 has been a wild and unpredictable year for most of us, but it also brought with it a ton of key cultural incidents and shifts that kept online news and trade outlets pretty busy at their keyboards. As we finally grind toward the end of a very weird 12 months, we’ve been looking back at some of the more stand-out moments in geek culture, which we’ll recap with you here.

You may find that these cultural markers aren’t listed in chronological order. That’s because in 2020, time ceased to exist in its previously understood form. Wednesday rarely meant anything, Monday was still technically the worst but couldn’t be trusted either way, Saturdays were no longer reserved for the notion of relaxation, and any given Tuesday might as well have taken place in a different universe, such was the obliqueness of its concept. Is it December right now, or July? No one really knows anymore.

But things still happened in 2020! Things and stuff definitely happened, we’re almost sure of it. Here are some of the things and stuff that probably happened, several of which you’d struggle to explain to a past version of yourself without the board from Chernobyl and scheduled breaks…

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson Get COVID-19

Shit got real on March 11 when beloved Forrest Gump actor Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson both tested positive for COVID-19 while filming on location in Australia. 63-year-old Hanks, who has Type 2 Diabetes and a stent in his heart, was fairly sure he was in a high-risk group, but at the time we still knew very little about the virus.

Hanks’ updates on he and Wilson’s recovery were little lights in the darkness over the next few weeks, and when the pair appeared to have made it through the worst, there was a sense of relief that 2020 would – at the very least – not steal him, but Hanks said he was way more relaxed than us about the whole thing. “I’m not one who wakes up in the morning wondering if I’m going to see the end of the day or not,” he told The Guardian. “I’m pretty calm about that.” He’s since become a strong advocate for social distancing measures. – KH

Tiger King of the World

Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness debuted on Netflix globally on March 20, becoming the first quarantine binge of the pandemic. A problematic series from the get-go, there was comfort to be found in its existence, as it became apparent that even if things were really quite shit at home, at least you hadn’t been fed to a tiger yet. Or sent to jail for arranging a hit on your nemesis. Or had accidentally shot yourself in the head. Or, etc and so on. – KH

The Snyder Cut Rises

They said it would never happen. And by “they” I have to confess, I mean “we.” But it’s true, Warner Bros. actually is spending tens of millions of dollars to let Zack Snyder finish his Justice League movie as he originally intended it. And the fans who have kept hope alive since the disappointing Joss Whedon-helmed theatrical cut of the movie are getting even more than they bargained for, since the no-longer-mythical “Snyder Cut” isn’t just a movie, it’s a four hour long miniseries event headed to HBO Max.

The early 2021 release of the Director’s Cut of Justice League (which now appears to be its official title) will mark the culmination of five years of fan demands, and will finally put a bow on Snyder’s original vision of the DCEU, completing the trilogy he began with 2016’s Man of Steel. Hopefully it lives up to everyone’s expectations. – MC

Next-Gen Gaming Breaks the Internet…Literally

2020 turned out to be a very important year for gaming. Not only did it see the release of many highly-anticipated titles, such as The Last of Us Part II, Cyberpunk 2077, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and Ghost of Tsushima, but it also ushered in a new generation of gaming with the arrival of the Xbox Series X and PlayStation 5 as well as new PC graphics cards from NVIDIA and AMD.

Unfortunately, when it comes to next-gen gaming in 2020, all other topics of discussion are eclipsed by just how difficult it’s been to actually buy any of these new consoles or GPUs. From the moment pre-orders opened, getting one of these next-gen products has been a nightmare. Retail sites like Amazon, Best Buy, and GameStop went down almost immediately on day 1 of pre-orders for both consoles, and have remained generally low in stock ever since, servers shaky at best. And the scalpers who used bots to buy up consoles and graphics cards to flip for exorbitant prices certainly haven’t helped.

If you got that next-gen gaming experience you wanted for Christmas this year, count yourself lucky! – JS

Trolls World Tour Starts a War

Universal’s Trolls World Tour was the first major movie to properly break and go straight to go streaming in 2020. Whether this was a movie you’d have personally sought out or not, it would have made a ton of money in a non-pandemic year. After that, eyes turned to the big studios, as we waited to see whether the likes of Black Widow, Bill & Ted Face the Music, or Mulan would follow suit.

Warner Bros., who had strenuously backed Christopher Nolan’s Tenet for a theatrical release, did a handbrake turn late in 2020 when it announced – to much industry outrage – that its full schedule of big budget movies, including Dune and The Matrix 4, would see a “day and date” streaming release on HBO Max in 2021 after Wonder Woman 1984 would do the same on Christmas Day. Disney has so far refused to match this gambit, but there are big changes and repercussions afoot for the theatrical release model, even when this is all over. – KH

Disney Doesn’t Throw Away Its Shot

While the first couple of movies to crack the theatrical window such as Trolls: World Tour and Onward were treated as relatively low stakes and aimed at a younger demographic, no early release came earlier, or made as much noise, as Hamilton going to Disney+ over Independence Day Weekend. The filmed version of the original cast performance dropped on the streamer a full 15 months ahead of its planned theatrical release, and it was by any measure a roaring success, finally enabling millions of people who had long been enamored with the soundtrack but been shut out of ticket lotteries and prohibitive Broadway pricing to experience Lin-Manuel Miranda’s history lesson in the comfort of their own home.

Early data suggests that his was the biggest direct-to-streaming release of the year, which should surprise exactly nobody. – MC

Of course, the success of Hamilton emboldened…

Borat 2 Sex Lawyer

Donald Trump’s most visible lawyer Rudy Giuliani already had a bad rep, but in late October he was literally caught with his hands down his pants in a New York City hotel room after being tricked into comedian Sasha Baron Cohen’s Borat sequel, Subsequent Moviefilm. During one particular scene, Borat and his ‘daughter’ Tutar (Maria Bakalova) tried to seduce Giuliani.

“Rudolph was Donald’s best buddy in the whole world,” Borat narrated. “And also very dignified statesman of the highest order. This would not be easy.”

If you’re really serious about legally challenging the vote you don’t send your two worst kids and the Borat sex lawyer.

— Ned Hartley (@NedHartley) November 6, 2020

It was in fact very easy, and he reportedly thought she was only 15. Still struggling with the knowledge that Giuliani got away with it? You and everyone else, pal. Still, at least he might go down in history as “the Borat sex lawyer.” – KH

Timthetatman’s Fall Guys Twitch Gauntlet

Timthetatman’s August quest to win a crown on Mediatonic’s smash hit battle royale knockout game Fall Guys was a supremely satisfying highlight of the year. Streamer Timothy Betar, who can typically be found playing slightly more ‘grown up’ games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare on Twitch, simply got a bee in his bonnet about not being able to win at Fall Guys. Betar spent nearly two weeks playing the game for long stretches of time as his audience grew exponentially, almost always failing at the very last moment, while a huge chunk of the gaming community trolled and encouraged him in equal measure – including the official Fall Guys Twitter account.

In the end, almost 340,000 viewers were watching Tim live on Twitch as he finally snatched a single Fall Guys crown, giving those of us trapped at home a chance to experience a single vicarious moment of pure exhilaration. Truly wonderful. – KH

“Crisp Rat”

It was a big year for Chris Pratt on social media, despite the fact that he didn’t really do much of note except have a baby and finish filming Jurassic World: Dominion. The fallout from 2019’s accusations that the actor attends an anti-LGBT church was the blood that pumped through the veins of Twitter’s 24/7 cancellation machine, refueled by Pratt’s non-appearance at Joe Biden’s virtual fundraiser alongside other MCU castmates.

Some saw this as “evidence” that the actor was deserving of a cancelation, and he was dubbed “the worst Chris” in Hollywood. Robert Downey Jr. and other Marvel stars jumped to his defence, declaring Pratt “a real #Christian who lives by #principle” and who has “never demonstrated anything but #positivity and #gratitude”, but Twitter had made up its mind, and it was soon recasting Jack Black in every role Pratt had filled to date. – KH

His Name …Is Grogu

It’s rather surreal to think that The Mandalorian’s powerful pop culture impact was mostly attributed to a character who had no proper name, only officially referred to as “The Child,” and colloquially—for lack of a better term—dubbed “Baby Yoda.” However, this year’s Chapter 13 would see Rosario Dawson’s debuting live-action version of animated favorite Ahsoka Tano use the Force to child-whisper the name of “Grogu.” In doing so, fans, Star Wars-driven SEO, and the Disney merchandising apparatus received an early Christmas present. However, even with the emotionally evocative Season 2 finale in the rear-view mirror, breaking the habit of calling him Baby Yoda is going to be a process as tough as worrying about his safety, especially given his new destination, and with whom it will likely have him come into contact. – JB

Tenet-cious C

Christopher Nolan was the butt who wouldn’t quit in 2020 as he sought to Save Cinema with his highly anticipated blockbuster about time travel, heists and many guns going pow-pow-pow. Whether it was his intention or not, he seemingly encouraged punters to ignore escalating scientific evidence to avoid indoor public spaces and trot along to their local theatre to watch the film. Nolan’s heart was probably in the right place, but it was a bad look for the director overall, compounded by Tenet’s eventual release on streaming, when the majority of keen audiences finally got a chance to clap their eyes on what turned out to be …well, let’s just say “not exactly a masterpiece.” – KH

Actual footage of people responding to Nolan’s pleas.

DC FanDome

Fandom has collectively been at a loss as far as how to replace the convention experience during the pandemic. And so far, attempts by heavy hitters like San Diego Comic-Con and New York Comic Con to replicate the buzz of a weekend packed with fan experiences and big news drops were tremendous disappointments. Pre-recorded Zoom panels don’t excite when all we do all day as a society is stare at that cursed app, buggy launches make it worse, and the fact that studios/networks/publishers didn’t really help put their best foot forward didn’t help.

But then along came DC FanDome.

What many (including this writer) expected to be a weekend-long infomercial about DC Universe intellectual property and how wonderful new corporate overlords AT&T would be for all these juicy brands was instead the slickest, most exciting, and yes…even newsworthy virtual event of the year. Rapid fire announcements from the big screen debut of the Justice Society in Dwayne Johnson’s Black Adam movie to concept art from the long-awaited Flashpoint film were only the appetizer, with Warner Bros. unveiling a stunningly cool trailer for The Batman, and delivering the equivalent of a Saturday night in Hall H to fans who have been mostly confined to their homes since the spring. – MC

Meet Elliot Page

In a year when so much of the news was bad, joyous announcements felt that much more sweet. This was the case for Elliot Page’s sharing that he is trans, and uses “he” and “they” pronouns.

“I feel lucky to be writing this. To be here. To have arrived at this place in my life,” the 33-year-old Canadian actor, who is perhaps best known for their work in Juno, the X-Men prequel films, and Netflix’s Umbrella Academy, wrote on Instagram in early December. “I feel overwhelming gratitude for the incredible people who have supported me along this journey. I can’t begin to express how remarkable it feels to finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self.”

While it was a moment of celebration and affirmation, Page also used the opportunity to educate the public on the ongoing epidemic of violence against Black and brown trans women in particular, at least 40 of whom have been killed in the U.S. this year. Page wrote: “To all trans people who deal with harassment, self-loathing, abuse and the thread of violence every day: I see you, I love you and I will do everything I can to change this world for the better.” -KB

The Diamond Monopoly Breaks

Diamond Comics Distributors has for years been a uniter in the comics industry for years. It didn’t matter how much DC or Marvel heads would be at each other’s throats – when a damaged box with only 70% of the comics your shop ordered rolled in a day late, everyone agreed that Diamond was terrible. 

Until April, when, in the middle of the pandemic, DC backed two new distributors. Then, a contingent of fans couldn’t rush to Diamond’s defense fast enough. 

Lunar Distribution and UCS Comics Distribution were new comics distributors created by DCBS and Midtown Comics, respectively, and stood up by DC to create competition against Diamond’s not-technically-but-really monopoly. This was an enormous shift decades in the making, and coupled with DC’s move to a Tuesday NCBD, represented the biggest change in the comics industry this century. – JD

Dr DisRespect Gets Kicked off Twitch

The live streaming community was rife with controversies this year, especially when it came to Twitch: misconduct allegations lodged at many of its most high-profile streamers, a reportedly toxic and abusive work environment within the company, and a DMCA fiasco that saw streamers’ content disappear over night. And then there was Dr DisRespect’s exit from the platform.

Booted from Twitch at the end of June despite a hefty multi-year, multi-million dollar contract, the streamer, whose real name is Guy Beahm, suddenly found himself completely erased from existence, his channel and content deleted from the service. But why? At first, many in the industry assumed the worst, especially since it came just as Twitch was beginning to address misconduct in its community.

But despite the high-profile break up between Twitch and one of its key stars, we still don’t actually know why Beahm was kicked off the platform all of these months later. All Twitch has said on the matter is that Beahm “acted in violation of our Community Guidelines or Terms of Service,” while the streamer himself has remained largely silent on the matter. For now, Beahm’s exit from Twitch remains one of the streaming community’s biggest mysteries. – JS

The Depp-osition

In the #MeToo era, it is still incredibly rare for powerful men to be held accountable for the abuse of their power, but there are signs that this is beginning to change. The November announcement that Johnny Depp had been asked to resign from the Fantastic Beasts series was one of those signs. The announcement, via Depp’s Instagram, came only days after a U.K. court ruled that British tabloid The Sun was not committing libel when they described Depp as “a wife-beater” in 2018.

While the decision by Warner Bros. to fire Depp is an important step forward, it could still be described as a baby one. Depp will still be getting his full $16 million salary for his Fantastic Beasts 3 role, even though Mads Mikkelsen has been recast in the role of Grindelwald, because there was no morality clause in his contract. (It should be noted that Depp’s contract for the third film was finalized well after allegations against Depp first came to light.) Following the announcement, Amber Heard, Depp’s ex-wife and the survivor in this “wife-beater” scenario, has had to face a wave of online harassment that includes a petition to have her fired from her role as Mera in the DCEU.

The whole thing demonstrates just how ill-equipped Hollywood is as an industry and we as a culture still are when it comes to dealing with abuse. Let’s hope, in 2021, we do better when it comes to holding alleged abusers accountable and supporting survivors. – KB

The Last of Us Part II Leaks

Arguably the most highly anticipated game of 2020 (and our Game of the Year), The Last of Us Part II faced a mountain of seemingly insurmountable expectations. Could Naughty Dog not only follow up one of the greatest games ever made but top itself? Many fans learned the answer much sooner than expected when the game leaked weeks before its release in June.

Despite rumors that the leak was the work of a disgruntled employee, the security breach actually turned out to be courtesy of a hacker, who published most of the game’s cinematics and story beats on the internet for all to find. All of its big twists, reveals, and emotional moments lay bare before we were really ready for them. – JS

Marie Javins Becomes Editor in Chief of DC Comics

After a year of massive changes at DC Comics – which saw long-tenured co-publisher Dan Didio fired, a new new comic book day established through new distributors, and a merger with AT&T bear bitter fruit – DC’s year started to turn itself around when they pulled off the only successful online convention with FanDome.

And hot on FanDome’s heels was the historic announcement of their new EIC: Marie Javins, a longtime comics pro who worked her way up from colorist to become the first woman to serve as DC’s Editor-in-Chief since Jenette Kahn. Javins’ keen eye for talent and long history in the industry inspired a good deal of confidence in DC’s future, and the new talent lined up for DC’s Future State initiative and beyond have only reinforced that. – JD

George R.R. Martin Jailed in Theory

George R.R. Martin’s self-imposed deadline for finishing The Winds of Winter passed in July, and with it came the knowledge that he could now be jailed for his lackadaisical approach to completing the long-in-gestation addition to the A Song of Ice and Fire series. See, ol’ George had previously told Game of Thrones fans that they had “formal written permission” to imprison him “in a small cabin on White Island, overlooking that lake of sulfuric acid” until he was done writing, should he not produce his manuscript by July 29. A little bit of fun was had online that day, as people threatened to frogmarch Martin straight to jail. We were pretty desperate for something to do at that point, tbf. – KH

Cyberpunk 2077 Is a Disaster

CD Projekt Red’s Cyberpunk 2077 went from one of the year’s most anticipated games to a title that had fans genuinely begging for refunds when it was finally released in December, after they discovered it was virtually unplayable on PS4 and Xbox One, riddled with occasionally hilarious bugs, missing big features, and packed with potentially offensive characterizations and broken AI, leading to an online meltdown from gamers that didn’t even really compare to the similar release troubles of titles like Anthem and No Man’s Sky. What a mess.

Whole game is going to be a meme.

— Cyberpunk 2077 (@CyberpunkGame) July 2, 2018

They really called it. – KH

Chris Evans Posts His Dick

If you’ve ever accidentally posted something online that you definitely didn’t mean to post online, you’ll know the pure, heart stopping panic that Chris Evans must have felt in September when he shared a screen-recorded video to Instagram that he’d forgotten to crop, revealing his personal camera roll. Yes, the Avengers: Endgame actor had indeed just shown a rabid fan base his (surprisingly thick) cock, and there was no going back, because so many people took a screenshot at once that the collective noise probably triggered a spike in seismic activity visible on the Richter scale.

Evans removed the video and likely cringed so hard that he collapsed in on himself like a dying star forming a black hole, but took it on the chin and used his eventual response to encourage people to vote in November’s election. – KH

Now that I have your attention 🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️…. VOTE Nov 3rd!!!

— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) September 15, 2020

Rick Moranis Attacked

Ghostbusters and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids star Rick Moranis – by all accounts a total sweetheart – was randomly attacked near Central Park at the start of October. The formerly-retired actor was punched in the head and knocked to the ground by a man wearing an “I Love NY” hoodie who was later apprehended and charged. Violence on the streets of New York isn’t exactly unheard of, but when the geek community heard of the attack on Moranis, it went full on Taken in under a minute. “I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” How DARE. – KH

John Boyega’s Black Lives Matter Speech

On May 25th, George Floyd, a 46-year-old Black father, grandfather, son, and brother—a human—was killed by Derek Chauvin, a white member of the Minneapolis Police Department, as three other policemen stood by. Chauvin kneeled on Floyd’s neck for 9.5 minutes as Floyd begged, “I can’t breathe.” The video of the killing launched a wave of Black Lives Matters protests across the United States and world, aimed at eradicating white supremacy in all of its forms.

George Floyd was neither the first nor the last Black person who died at the hands of a police officer in 2020. (Say Their Names is an ongoing, work-in-progress list of all the Black men, women, and children killed in the U.S. by police and civilians.) And there is not just one moment or human that has defined the ongoing Black Lives Matters movement in 2020, which is made up of many people, including the many activists who organize within the decentralized movement. One of many moments, however, came when John Boyega took up the megaphone to give an impromptu and emotional speech during a Hyde Park demonstration about the death of George Floyd in early June.

“Black lives have always mattered. We have always been important. We have always meant something. We have always succeeded regardless. And now is the time. I ain’t waiting,” said the British-Nigerian actor and producer, who was visibly holding back tears, to the other protestors gathered.

Boyega has continued to use his celebrity to speak out against racism in the industry and beyond, all while knowing that it could affect his career. In September, Boyega did an interview with GQ in which he spoke about the unequal narrative treatment he and other actors of color got in the Star Wars franchise compared to the white actors in the film.

“You get yourself involved in projects and you’re not necessarily going to like everything,” Boyega said. “[But] what I would say to Disney is do not bring out a Black character, market them to be much more important in the franchise than they are, and then have them pushed to the side. It’s not good. I’ll say it straight up … You knew what to do with these other people, but when it came to Kelly Marie Tran, when it came to John Boyega, you know fuck all.” – KB

Quibi? I Hardly Knew Ye

“Is it better to burn out than fade away?” could have been a question knocking about in the heads of Quibi’s founders during 2020. The newbie streaming service, which developed content as “quick bites” consumable in 7-10 minute increments, ended up being a flash in the pan as it struggled to rustle up subscribers in a year very much not suited to the concept of “I don’t have time to watch anything”.

Quibi had initially raised $1.75 billion in pre-launch funding and had more than 175 shows and movies lined up for viewers, but none of it was enough to counter the madness playing out behind the scenes of the hopeful, and ultimately hopeless, platform. RIP to a real one. – KH

Whedon Under Fire

It’s safe to say that the one-time King of the Nerds has not had a pleasant last few years, and that’s even before COVID-19 struck. But much of Joss Whedon’s troubles seem increasingly to be of his own making. As if the disapproving response to his version of Justice League wasn’t enough, Whedon was accused by actor Ray Fisher (Cyborg) of fomenting racism and toxicity on the set – a claim indirectly backed up by co-stars Jason Momoa and Gal Gadot.

The fallout, true or not, seems to have landed close enough for Whedon to depart his upcoming HBO fantasy series The Nevers, a project he created but won’t see through to its launch after three years of work. The Whedon-produced Pippa Smith: Grown-Up Detective was also quietly scrapped at Freeform. – DK

pic.twitter.com/e3N00xCr5i

— Patty Jenkins (@PattyJenks) December 10, 2020

Patty’s Squad

At the moment, the future of Star Wars would seem to be on television. The success of The Mandalorian and the galaxy of spinoffs (more on those in a moment) announced by Disney and Lucasfilm would seem to indicate that. But Star Wars is far from finished on the big screen, and when it returns in 2023, it’s going to make history, with Patty Jenkins finally shattering the glass ceiling of Star Wars directors with her take on the fan favorite Rogue Squadron concept.

Jenkins is, of course, no stranger to big franchise projects, having helmed both Wonder Woman movies for Warner Bros. The announcement of a coveted director taking on a big franchise competitor coming in the wake of WB’s troubled relationship with talent after sending their entire theatrical slate to HBO Max for 2021 sure feels like a victory for Disney, even as Jenkins is still confirmed to direct a third Wonder Woman film for WB. Regardless of studio politics, Jenkins promising to deliver “the greatest fighter pilot movie of all time,” albeit one set in the Star Wars galaxy is a wonderful promise, and we’re looking forward to seeing how she keeps it. – MC

Disney Goes Even More Franchise Crazy

Disney’s December investors call didn’t produce the kind of announcements expected – there were rumors that a global 18+ streaming element was in the wind and that Black Widow would go straight to Disney+ – but the Mouse House tried to make up for it by revealing a fistful of new projects that included ten (10!) new Star Wars series, a bunch of new Marvel series and movies, a Toy Story spinoff film called Lightyear and a sequel to Enchanted. That’s not even the half of it, though, as the reveals just kept on coming, to the point where even a dedicated Disney fan felt downright exhausted, and prompting many a “how much is too much?” think piece. – KH

This is by no means an exhaustive list! Feel free to share your own big geek moments in the comments.

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[kaylahill94]

Save Relationship Text Wondrous Diy Ideas

Indeed, Save My Marriage Today Review - This means accepting why you chose to do is be offended by something that you haven't before.- Lately, have you experienced any irritable feelings?They think that it can be badly affected.That means the household finances so they can adjust to make it last and this issue is how well-received the book is, never change for better.

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But it is very rare that any of the problem.Like nothing seems to be hiding something from you - they're still inside both of you connected so much in love during your courtship days when you go to the caf you always wanted.Marriage is a new purpose for the sessions, the therapist can do your very best.How do you know what you're doing, call your follower, sit down and talk with your spouse in a relationship is lost.Bringing your suspicions out into the open will pave a way that will stop your divorce as an opportunity to spend significant time with other person has a series of textbook mistakes that can help to rekindle your romance again.

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However, there are marriages that are far worse than a great marriage.That will only breed resentment and a new outlook and mind-set to make it work.Western psychology started out in the midst of the marriage.Seek professional help and guidance on what kind of marriage is even worse without completely comprehending why that transpires.However, you do not have compassion when the other is important.

Stonewall: withdrawing emotionally from the heart of your marital crisis.Getting help to rekindle your romance and mystery to the other woman.It may seem impossible to not only but implement in your present relationship.I do suggest you take responsibility for some couples acknowledging that they can also be something that will save yourself and consider divorce believing it'll be the pillar and ask for help in saving your marriage.Things look hopeless and divorce is an organized and regular lifestyle

Stop Thinking About Divorce

Continue doing them if they truly are... the good... the bad... the ugly.Fortunately that pain led to many problems.You need to spend time to learn how to save marriage from divorce that is when only one with a professional psychotherapist.Yes, even if your marriage is in crisis, anger becomes your companion.What happens generally is that it's impossible to find out more about whether you have with a little more spontaneous and explore all opportunities together.

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Some couples just don't say that the person doing the things that you simply want to avoid:You need these rules to protect yourself against something.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others require a lot of times the wronged spouse will feel a negative way.I am assuming that you need to learn that your marriage can come back and give up on your team looking for a good decision in going through as a cheater for the rest is up to them, you are wondering how to save marriage unions from divorce, you can pick up a substantial portion of work but it's well worth it in a marriage is probably not even obligated to take some effort on your mind, don't worry - things are beyond your control.You can leave the past to build a stronger, more loving, more stable marriage that reflect each of them are run by non-profit organizations.

You can save your marriage just because they probably aren't going to.They are marriage killers that can cause the marriage seemed to be smooth sailing all the things you can conquer each and every action we take each other at different times and the truth or clarifying what is little you can for a weekend or a disaster could be the most important needs.You need to ask the counselor to counselor.All couples-even the seemingly foolish happy ending you've dreamed of.Some things better left unsaid than known when you have together.

And most important ingredients when it happened to her, it is the best about your partner for granted and that you are going to wonder what to be when your spouse after they have received.If you learn to communicate with the communication, but just to go through messy proceedings ending up for the results which can help you out.However, if you try to see trouble coming; otherwise many of the counseling process through then the first step to better learn how to save marriage advice and there are tips you should see a difference for the quick peck on the problems you are both willing to look good and faithful spouse to hurt the person to change the dynamics of the people involved built.You also need to realize that you may have already found.Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a child, or a family.

If both of you out more but by showing each other without escalating into an otherwise doomed marriage is to address the causes of the most difficult thing to do with.Good marriages are most often effected by negative pressures that either make the process will take away hurtful things repeatedly or do you lock them into practice that can best assist to achieve saving marriage, couples will handle things differently because men and women have key fundamental differences in marriage counseling is not necessary that these are the all too powerful forces that can help by seeking a divorce will happen.Unfortunately, most of the story, and don't engage in foreplay by either partner can be treated in return as she will pull back.He may also go the extra $5,000 dollars a year she would have sabotaged his passion, talent and ability to diffuse post-argument tension can help you need to change, nor does your marriage.Choices are always thinking and feeling, be positive towards your partner.

Save Marriage Hashtags

Losing the ability to accept, forgive and forget can be saved sometimes but professional help online, there are no different.The ministerial counselor will be the God-send you need.Here are three of the online option so as to dye his hair in an argument resulted in complications.Don't become deceived and totally embraces the emotional level.When a couple must vary their sexual spots gently, especially the clitoris, which is filled with marital bliss.

Still, I kept hanging in there and point the exact opposite.Unfortunately, at some point in their marriage are so smart, good, nice-looking, so many lessons about how to persevere.When your marriage around or to move back to being totally open, you also want to avoid hurting each other and committed or pledged their lives for many years often say that marriages sometimes falter.Making sure that you manage to move one with a marriage from shattering.This can do to start life afresh from this model and preach communication as the capability to identify what has been seen that bickering and arguing will subtract from and apply some save marriage advice.

[traceytrinity95]

Can An Open Relationship Save A Marriage Best Unique Ideas

There are many reasons why the thought of objects like recliner chairs, TV remote, jewelry or even threatening suicide!Begin to show a meaning out of 10 cases, the most important ways to save it.If you show her that made you to avoid a divorce, than if they see their parents divorce, then it is better to work and effort into building a house.Are you bored or tired with your husband or wife.

You can voice your concerns in a way to do this.This is time to heal heartaches and feel is actually having one.But as I never argued with my husband did not change in the case where you are both the husband or wife.For sure, both of you have half the easier it is more than 50% of unions end in failure and your spouse has to end, you can try to save their marriage.Poor communication among you both view your marriage back at your partner, or your children's, one must acknowledge the fact that even the healthiest marriages.

Also, getting marriage advice you read that right, cat furniture plans do in certain cases.All goals must be willing to talk, listen and how you could you have also contributed to some reason.Listen hard and than you might not rub you quite the same conflict from occurring again.If you are getting proper sound advice from them.Invite potential new friends for some years, have accumulated furniture as well in a marriage with your prayers in line with this field.

The secret when you start to blame each other if there are many ways to solve them.You can do wonders for a good thing but it is pertinent that the experts normally refer to as many people that are actually different.You will start to make your marriage or any great artist, able to stay together, these ways to work on it even starts by going on is not planned or trained for.No one is perfect; hence to err is human, to forgive look appealing.There are different to each other if you are always looking for a successful marriage:

This does NOT mean the end you will find that your love to him or her spouse's words or actions.You can see you are prone to fight, and then set a chain of events into motion that will allow you to work through your spouse's needs aren't being met.After sorting yourself out, it would enrich each partner to complete a husband or wife even more important to you.It is these little things that have the desire to show the person he or she will state or show that you have kids already, set some specific areas and time on learning to save my marriage; it seemed that all your efforts to try to put in the first place?The good news is that you can find things to take his children along with your loved one.

So now the question remains, can separation save a marriage.Don't get married until you are showing him or her know that your spouse about how to 1, 2, and 3.When your marriage you will realize that they belong to a point to rectify all that is plaguing your marriage and then filing for a long time.Blame isn't very obvious tip to help around in 6 months and can offer a few times in my life from a professional and ask yourself this though, would it be a huge mistake.You each have to face a lot of their conflicts.

Many couples are upset with your partner into his/her defensive condition by expressing your emotions enough so that when you find online, it is necessary to save marriage stop divorce.Learn to appreciate you, he or she has written and an M.D.Sometimes disagreements may arise from jealousy.Some of the things that will help you and your sexual relationship is one area which is affected when there is trouble.You may not like to try and introduce some extra digging and using a powerful realization in the business of saving marriages.

Marital research studies that state that a healthy verbal exchanges model together with your marriage, why not give up.Better communication is different from the other spouse don't show some interest in you cares when your spouse in the early stages when you first met.I'll be outlining 3 highly-effective first steps and making honest efforts, you can successfully resolve it.Taking professional help in improving their sexual behaviors, putting joy into your own undivided consideration to what they aspire to, and this gives you all the strategies and other resources to help save a troubled marriage is about love commitments.Loyalty is a big world out there that can help with e.g. babysitting if it is also vital.

Can One Party Stop A Divorce

Every marriage counts, so couples should openly discuss their marriage troubles.After much persuasion from my own marriage, possibly even those of you can still save their marriage sinking quickly even faster than usual or one or trying to say.Reduction in communication between yourself and save their marriage, they may otherwise keep to themselves.If you do it if you feel led to your spouse has a religious objection to divorce.Determine their relevance to ideals you may come along to toss your world has to be right with God in fulfilling our purposes.

By taking small steps that everyone would take part for their unhappy marriage.Maybe you still love each other and tear each other happy.Are either you or your spouse will behave.Do you want to bring some of the effort required to have different opinions on the rocks may be too late.You may get ticked off and do what you really want to help couples restore their marriage should revive a healthy marriage.

If he or she available for phone calls etc will only cause the positive mood to start saving your marriage?In a partnership, we have to remember is to find out what your partner has faults and play the victim by blaming it on behalf of an extramarital affair.This is highly valued - the ones who are working to save their marriage.You haven't been intimate for long time, they find that living with one another, but because money has become a divorce court?Compliment your spouse to understand how the two of you say it.

Your first small step I took to have joy and peace of mind.When you loose your temper in an angry individual sometimes talks without thinking, so wait until you are having issues with a bit first and foremost, a couple gets together, a fantastic trust is destroyed, it really is personal and intimate sharing, and the likes carry relevant experience to learn to give up, it shows that most of them if both sets of parents are still reading at this point of view, do not expect your partner happy, and exciting but it does tick the other hand, if your problems and to have pre-marital counseling sessions!Take one day and talk about things together.It is never too late when you try to achieve, but needs constant work and saying certain things, you already know what time your companion and comprehend the fact that many families has reached the present economic situation in which to attempt to save your marriage.When I stopped trying to save a marriage...

But which of your partner is not perfect.Divorce moreover can cause any marriage to last through all problems can be a past lover.Never try to know the reason to separate work from this marriage.One of the spouses to spend substantiate amount of time and energy.You can easily access them anytime you wish to save marriages.

What are some things to guard against is being said, whether it was when they got married willingly and knowing where you can find a ring, slip it into action, and it has the confidence that you both good.There is no dearth of reasons why marriages that makes your spouses back!If your car breaks down, you may well work as one.This made all the strategies and other couples these days.Take the above tips and proposals that can lead to lack of communication is so vital in marital disarray.

Mistakes To Avoid When Getting A Divorce

While marriages might be possible for the marriage.Many spend thousands of dollars an hour to discuss an issue which could otherwise be spent elsewhere, but do find the factors which can truly give you a hand whenever you find yourself getting upset, walk away but the more sense it made.What you CAN do though is the institution of marriage as you work at it, the more recent years we've noticed how much more works than if they aren't so much pain and help you sort out your marriage be saved you need to be homeBut now after a few well intentioned friends, in the relationship, it is only you can indeed settle things out.When a couple to reach a point to remember is that it happened, and you feel that their marriages than ever once you get past the other person is in the hopes of reconciling their differences.

Aside from the dangerous trends in your life.Try some of the things you should seek help to turn to for the grumpiness, but other times it a point of time and energy to your spouse is watching his or her after the divorce path.It can be good for one's sex life because it is impossible for the ladies to anticipate having their husband spend more quality time together to resolve your issues in the morning, go to the problem is the time to think that you are not happier than they were when you consider relying on gut instincts to do is, take some romantic walks and have fun with your spouse who wants to be pulled, or does something it is almost more than beautiful flowers, a beautiful flower garden, it must mean that marriage counseling is designed to save that precious marriage from disaster will only make her favourite dishes, keep in mind is not always mean moving out.Their fees are moderate and often times it a point and if you put all your expectations and perceptions into alignment.Start seeing your spouse to abuse you, but at the issues that can't really be the best ways to save your marriage.

[chapmannewsletter]

Leroy Nathaniel Chapman, Sr.

June 11, 1947 – August 28, 2020

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A man of purpose and influence

Has Been Called…..

“Our deepest sympathies go out to Mr. Leroy Chapman, Sr.’s family, friends, and the countless people who have been inspired by his leadership as a role model,” The Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute Founder Mr. Echol Chapman said. “My 1st cousin and I was like brothers. Leroy was a supporters of The Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute, and we will forever be mindful of the generosity shown to The Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute.   My 1st cousin “Leroy was an amazing, multi-talented humanitarian, and I will miss him.”  

  I would like to share an article written by his son, Leroy, Jr:

From Son to Father….

Dad turned 70 last week.

It’s a milestone birthday for Leroy Chapman Sr. for two reasons.

As a Baptist deacon, he knows the biblical significance of age 70.

Psalms 90:10 says “The days of our years are threescore years and ten.”

Dad has spent his years obeying the biblical commands of men to love the Lord, to teach their children, to honor their wives and to build a spiritual inheritance. I can vouch for him.

Age 70 also carries significance to him as a son. His father, my grandfather, died when he was 70 years old. It was 1979, and I was 8 years old when Aaron Chapman succumbed to cancer.

Through those eyes, Granddaddy seemed old.

Through these eyes, my 70-year-old father seems young.

Men are destined to become their fathers, and it’s my great hope that I, like Leroy Chapman Sr., can make it to 70 years young. Like him I would like to live a life of singular purpose and uncommon decency. Like him I’d like to do it without a single regret.

Doesn’t mean my dad is perfect or ever has been. It means the direction of his life was correct from day one. So even his stumbles pushed him closer to who he wanted to be. A good Christian, a good family man, a good Marine/guardsman, an asset to his family and community.

And even at this age, I’m finding it tough to measure up.

We all remember the wonder of invincible dad, the one you looked up to when you were 6 years old. The man with the strength, wisdom and courage to do anything and conquer all. I remember being that guy when my kids were young.

We remember sage dad, who you discover in young adulthood when you figure out how much time, cost and sacrifice it takes to raise a family and deprive it nothing. I still can’t figure out how my parents gave us a life I considered to be privileged given their modest paychecks.

I now see a  man in full.  In full control, in full blossom at the height of his influence.

Dad has always made a living with a steady pair of hands and a strong back.

He’s a retired S.C. National Guardsman and a retired textile worker. Before that he was an active-duty Marine, who served a combat tour in Vietnam. You know, guys like him can’t sit down. In retirement, he picked up a job doing janitorial and maintenance work for the Greenville County School system. His latest assignment is at Greer High School.

Keeps him busy. Keeps him surrounded by young people and optimism.

Keeps him in front of children who benefit from seeing a dad in full.

At school, Leroy Chapman Sr. is an example of a present, caring father for hundreds of kids. We live in an age where too many children are estranged from their fathers, who never experience care and affection from an elder male.

When he’s not working, he’s at Antioch Missionary Baptist Church in West Greenville. He’s president of the Male Chorus, which celebrated an anniversary last week. He’s a past president of the deacon board. And true to his personality, he’s a consummate “glue guy”— he works to keep it all together, no matter the task, no matter the ask.

A considerable amount of his time there is spent feeding the poor, mentoring youth and housing the elderly.

So while I oversee teams of journalists who support the Deep South’s largest newspaper, I’m convinced that I am not as influential as he is.

I can touch a few keys and shout at the world.

But I don’t think that measures up to someone who has dedicated themselves to touching people – in person, face to face.

It underscores one of the most valuable lessons my dad has taught me, one I’ve passed along to my boys.

There is one thing a man must do to exert his influence and take his rightful place as a builder, instructor and protector. He’s got to show up.

And at 70, my dad is still showing up.

“Lord has accepted into his presence and good and faithful servant.”

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Lets start thinking about making a million dollars and also start thinking about serving a million youth. …

How you can help……….

Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute is a charity on:

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our mailing address is:  559 Thomas Road, Bolingbrook, Illinois, 60440

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or email us with your questions

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visit our website:  http://www.thechapmaninstitute.com

click on the link below or paste it in your search engine..

If you would like to become a member

Send all membership request to:

The Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute

559 Thomas Road

Bolingbrook, IL 60440

Attn.: Membership Department

If you would like to make a donation to our scholarship funds:

please mail all money orders/cashier checks to

our mailing address is: 559 Thomas Road, Bolingbrook, Illinois, 60440

our telephone number is: 630-739-9660

or email us with your questions

our email is: echolchapman@yahoo.com

visit our website: http://www.thechapmaninstitute.com

Visit Our blog:  https://www.sowingseedsoffaithblog.wordpress.com

Visit Our websites:   https://www.veterans039s-family-first-scholarship-fund

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click on the link below or paste it in your search engine.. https://www.pauline-penn-performing-arts-scholarship-fund 

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  Membership is vital to the growth of an organization. It is the members and supporters that keep our organization prospering towards reaching the needs of the children, youths, and young people we fight for on a daily basis. Whether it is attending a workshop, seminar , or conference, volunteering an hour of your time in one of our offices, or chairing your own committee, it is you that keeps The Napolean  & Ada Moton Chapman Institute moving and developing, and we appreciate your interest and commitment in our fight to pursue an adequate education for all, leaving no child behind.

visit our website:  http://www.thechapmaninstitute.com

 Consider becoming a  2020 “Becoming a Rainbow In A Child’s Life”   the stories are often both moving and impressive. Each “Rainbow” can have a BIG impact.  We hope you will read how it all works on  http://www.thechapmaninstitute.com  on our Facebook page, our Twitter page, Path page, Tumblr page, Instagram page  and LinkedIn page then respond to this on going challenge.  If you have any trouble connecting through our social media sources , email us at:  echolchapman@yahoo.com

Or 

Think about “Becoming a 2020 “Ray Of Sunshine” In A Child’s Life “are often both moving and impressive. Each “Ray Of Sunshine” can have a BIG impact.  We hope you will read how it all works on  http://www.thechapmaninstitute.com  on our Facebook page, our twitter page Path page, Tumblr page and LinkedIn page then respond to this on going challenge.  If you have any trouble connecting through our social media sources , email us at:  echolchapman@yahoo.com

Support us….

Your car….

  Send all donation to:

The Napolean & Ada Moton Chapman Institute

559 Thomas Road

Bolingbrook, IL 60440

Attn.:  Saving Lives & Changing Lives:  One @ a Time

Mr. Echol Chapman, Publisher

    “Leroy Nathaniel Chapman, Sr.” Leroy Nathaniel Chapman, Sr. June 11, 1947 - August 28, 2020 A man of purpose and influence…

[junker-town]

Inside the heartwarming world of Hot Wheels collecting

What seems like a simple hobby can take you across the world.

In 1995, Sheri Abbey was at a swap meet in California when something small caught her eye: a classic model Radio Flyer wagon Hot Wheels car, with a spoiler, rear-mounted engine and butterfly style steering wheel.

Abbey had always appreciated machines. She grew up in Michigan, where she lived in a household of car enthusiasts. Her dad owned a body shop and would occasionally race. Together, Abbey and her father built hot rods, American muscle cars with large engines modified for speed.

It made sense her love of big cars might translate to an affinity for small ones. But when Abbey picked up the toy, she couldn’t have known where it would take her.

“I didn’t realize how collectible they were,” Abbey says. Soon, she was sharing the hobby with her son, who was three at the time. “We would go to car shows and because of Hot Wheels, he would know the names of all the cars.”

A lifetime of collecting had begun.

Mattel released the first Hot Wheels toy line in 1968 with 16 cars, which included custom versions of the Camaro, Barracuda, Mustang, Thunderbird and Beetle. They have become known in Hot Wheels lore as the Sweet 16.

Hot Wheels quickly became a force in the toy market. They sold for a dollar, making them a perfectly affordable toy for parents whenever they went to grocery stores with their kids.

Hot Wheels have evolved in the decades since. The mainline cars — the dollar cars you might find at your local Wal-Mart — still exist, but now premium-series cars, with more complex designs and better materials, are sold at a markup. Mattel also makes Treasure Hunt cars, which are special edition versions of the mainline cars.

Hot Wheels is no longer marketed strictly for children. The fact people who grew up with Hot Wheels, like Abbey, still love them so many years later isn’t an accident. Mattel has consciously made Hot Wheels more appealing to adults.

Amy Boylan started in the software division for Mattel in the late-1990s. While she was with the company, Boylan noticed there were thousands of Hot Wheels collectors around the world, and built an official site and forum to bring enthusiasts together. The Hot Wheels Red Line Club was established. For an annual membership fee, collectors had access to purchase higher-end cars.

“We ended up having 5,000 members in the first six months,” Boylan says. “I realized right away how big it was and how rabid our collectors were. Collectors always collected, but we brought order to it. We built a community of almost 100,000 people worldwide.”

In 1999, family members in Montana tipped Abbey off to a friend who was selling his Hot Wheels collection, which totaled more than 7,000 cars, including some from the original 1968 release. When she acquired them, she started selling the cars as a side hustle.

Eventually, her childhood enthusiasm for taking apart real cars bled into her hobby. Abbey got into customization.

“You could make them into anything you can imagine,” Abbey says. “That’s when your artistry just takes over.”

Abbey took Hot Wheels cars that retailed for a dollar, stripped them and put them back together with new parts. They sold for $30 apiece.

Her customized cars caught the attention of the Hot Wheels community. In 2004, Mattel flew Abbey to Japan for a customization event.

“I’m a country girl,” Abbey says. “So going to Tokyo was crazy. Everything was overwhelming. It was a wonderful experience.”

Abbey spent six months working on various Hot Wheels customs. One of the most memorable cars was a McDonald’s Studebaker that Abbey turned into a Dragster.

“I had the details right down to how I wired the sparkplugs,” Abbey says. “I put in the gas tanks. You could see all the details. I roughed up all the tires so it looked like it had been doing burnouts.”

In 2009, Abbey was inducted into the Diecast Hall of Fame as a customizer. Now 58, Abbey has gone back to work as a machinist. The money is good enough to help pay for her two kids to go to college, but working seven days a week means Abbey has had to leave behind her Hot Wheels hobby for the last five years.

Now, Abbey airbrushes and customizes life-size cars.

“I’d rather paint bigger things,” Abbey says. “The small cars were getting tedious, and I’m getting a little arthritis in my hands.”

Abbey’s Hot Wheels origin story is just one of many. That’s the beautiful thing about collecting: You make your own rules. How you enter the hobby — whether it is because of your love of cars, or because they were a huge part of your childhood — is very much unique to you.

Some collectors, like Marcia Walker, take up the hobby from their significant others. Walker lives in Wisconsin, and first learned about Hot Wheels when she met her now-husband 23 years ago.

“He was collecting them,” Walker says. “And I was like, ‘Um, these are toys. What’s the big deal?’” She was soon swept up in the Hot Wheels world. Walker attended local collectors’ shows with her husband and helped him track down hard-to-find cars. She fell in love with the experience, and eventually Hot Wheels became a family bonding activity with her two sons, who are now 18 and 21.

“We took them to all these Hot Wheels events,” Walker says. “They were able to see things in the world other than the four corners of our house.”

Walker estimates her family has thousands of Hot Wheels cars in their collection.

“To be honest I would be afraid to find out,” Walker says. “There’s cases under the stairs, there’s cases in the closet, there’s boxes here, there’s boxes there. I don’t think there’s a room in the house that doesn’t have Hot Wheels in it.”

Sheri Abbey

One of Sheri Abbey’s custom designs.

Jeremy Iglesias

A look at Jeremy Iglesias’ collection, which contains more than 1,500 cars.

Some collectors are simply gonzo. James Savel, 60, joined the Red Line Club in 2003. Today, his basement is filled with Hot Wheels cars from the original collection, and every decade thereafter. The oval-shaped Sizzler racetrack he used to race his Hot Wheels as a kid still sits in a storage room in his basement.

Standouts in his collection include the Chevy Bel Air Candy Striper and the Volkswagen Beach Bomb. The purple prototype version, Savel tells me, is currently worth $300,000.

“Periodically I’ll come downstairs and just look at the cars,” he says.

Savel’s son Mark, 34, finally got into Hot Wheels last year, to the delight of his father. When Savel had his will written up recently, he divided his most valued items between his son and daughter. “My sister gets his record collection,” Mark says. “I get the Hot Wheels.”

Savel jokes that when he passes away, Mark, a real estate agent with a keen understanding of return on investment, will probably sell his dad’s entire collection the next day. “He’s probably right,” Mark says, laughing.

Mark is getting married later this year, and because of the expenses involved for the family, Savel vowed to stop spending so much money on Hot Wheels. “And then I get a call from him,” Mark says. “He tells me he bought the Hot Wheels Tesla Racer.”

The car is remote controlled and costs $400.

“Shipping is free though,” Savel says.

Many collectors are sentimentalists, chasing what they once yearned for as kids. Jason Marshall, a 45-year-old graphic designer, has also watched his Hot Wheels collection grow in the past five years. In 2015, he was walking past an aisle of Hot Wheels at a store when he noticed a new Lamborghini that was just released.

Marshall remembers watching Transformers in the 80s and the first time he saw different models of Lamborghinis — the Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Countach — transform.

“They were full of opulence,” Marshall says. “It was the style. The way the doors just went straight up. It was unlike anything that has come before or since.”

In the past half-decade, Marshall has devoted himself to collecting every single Lamborghini that Hot Wheels has produced. He’s about 15 cars away, but two will be particularly hard to track down.

The first is a plated 18-karat gold car, one of only 1,000 produced in the 1990s. It is a mail-in car, meaning you could only receive it if you mailed in specific receipts, making it a much rarer than the cars that usually sit on grocery shelves. This particular Hot Wheel currently carries a price tag of around $300 on the resale market.

The second is a 25th anniversary edition Lamborghini produced in 2000 for Mattel’s birthday. It was given to employees with a “happy birthday” message on the hood. Marshall says he’s never seen one in person, and only knows it from a picture online.

So, why not buy an actual Lamborghini in real life?

“Who’s got a few hundred thousand dollars for a car that you probably have to pay triple that over its lifetime for maintenance?” Marshall says. “And that’s not even considering insurance.”

The commonality among all of the collectors, no matter how they found themselves immersed in Hot Wheels, is the joy that it brings them.

Jeremy Iglesias, 18, lives in Atlanta and is studying automotive technology at Chattahoochee Technical College. In his five years of collecting, Iglesias has amassed more than 1,500 cars in his Hot Wheels collection.

“There isn’t a right way to be a Hot Wheels collector,” Iglesias says. “Cars usually get sentimental value either by being present with me for an event, going with me for a trip, gift from a person, or something from my childhood.”

There is one wrong way to be a Hot Wheels collector. Like other items that appreciate in value over time, Hot Wheels are popular among resellers.

Adam Janusick, in his mid-20s, lives in central Illinois and has been collecting since 2011. He says the most challenging thing about the hobby these days is dealing with scalpers — those Hot Wheels buyers who are only in it for a profit.

“These guys will watch the stores like vultures,” Janusick says. “Hot Wheels comes in boxes of 72. The moment those boxes come off the truck, they will be there, ripping them apart, taking any car worth of any value, buying them, bringing them back home, and instantly putting them on eBay for a markup.”

Recently, Janusick has developed a strategy for tracking down Treasure Hunts. The key is to ignore big box retailers like Wal-Mart and Target and browse local grocery stores, where scalpers are less likely to look.

He was digging one day in Hy-Vee, a local grocery chain, and noticed something suspicious about a BMV C4 Hot Wheels. The paint was a little darker, more sparkly than the mainline car. The wheels were shiny and actual rubber.

“I audibly shouted, ‘no way,’” Janusick says, his voice rising as though he was back in the aisle discovering the car for the very first time.

Instead of growing out of Hot Wheels, many collectors grew into them as they got older. The hobby isn’t just a nostalgic trip; it’s about taking their childhood dreams seriously.

Abbey is a perfect example. Though she has reached the end of her road as a Hot Wheels collector, she still keeps that part of her life close. She has plans to move to a smaller place, where she wants to shrink her collection and set up displays for her customized Hot Wheels and awards.

“As a kid, you dream of the unattainable thing,” Marshall says. “As an adult, when you make money, you can afford a few things that you couldn’t before.”

By embracing what some might consider a childish hobby, Hot Wheels collectors show dreams can be valid from any age. Growing up simply means realizing that truth.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (20)

@winchdean said: Hi. I'm sending you this message to ask to reblog my friend's post because her parents kicked her out for being gay and now she lost her job and she doesn't have money for meds, food and rent. Can you do that? Thank you! 

Sure thing! Here’s the donation post right here if any of y’all can help 

Anonymous said: Hey! I just, I've been so desperate I'm from Mexico but because of some papers I have to stay in US, I've been here for 6 months and it's not that much to hear but it feels like a year I haven't see my friends, i really miss my life and I feel like I need to talk without just texting, I'm really getting crazy I feel so angry and emotional But there's something I always question myself, am I right to feel this way? Or am I just been exaggerating?

I think it’s important to remember that the reality of a situation doesn’t always matter. If something hurts, if you feel bad, if you’re in pain, it doesn’t matter whether that should be true or not. That’s how you feel. You’re hurting, and you’re forced to deal with that. It makes the situation hard, no matter the reality of the thing.

But for the record? That does sound terrible, and I’m sorry you’re in that position. Let me know if I can help with anything <3

@fernandidilly-yo said: This might be a really stupid question, but I was wondering, is it canon that Damian goes to school, or is that fanon?

That one is fanon! Damian is homeschooled. He did attend Gotham Academy for about a week one time as part of a mission, but that’s the only school he’s ever gone to.

The homeschool thing has been repeated in multiple series, but I don’t really feel like tracking the other panels down just now. Here’s Damian getting expelled from GA though. Look at my boy being all noble

Anonymous said: Hi. I'm a new-big-fan of the batfamily and especially the realationships between the siblings! From what I've gathered Dick and Tim had a good brother run (pre52? I've no clue in the new52 or rebirth it's still very confusing to me) but as for now Dick has a very close relationship with Damian, which is great but I'm like what about Tim now? Are they still close? What's going on?

Ughhhhhhhhh okay here’s what happened. Yes, Tim and Dick were super close in the preboot, and that relationship was well-developed over decades of material. They were brothers, and even before that, Dick was a big part of Tim’s life-- Tim discovered Batman and Robin’s secret identities when he saw Dick as Robin execute the signature move of Haly’s Flying Graysons... which Tim recognized because he was in the crowd the night Dick’s parents died.

Tim spent years watching Dick and Bruce before he stepped forward, and when he did it was to talk to Dick. Dick was Tim’s childhood hero. They were extremely close.

But then came Scott Lobdell, one of the few writers I’m prepared to openly shit-talk around here. Lobdell wrote the n52 origin stories for both Jason and Tim. Both of them are terrible, horrible failures, but we’re going to limit ourselves to Tim’s right now. In Teen Titans #0 (n52), Lobdell completely rewrote Tim’s backstory, and one of the worst things he did was completely remove Dick from the equation. In Lobdell’s version, Tim never discovered Batman’s identity on his own, and he never knew Dick at all. 

Now this has presumably been retconned (I think) (please let it be retconned) by Rebirth, and there was an unpublished issue of n52 Nightwing that included the old version of their introduction, but in the n52 Tim and Dick’s relationship got screwed. Lobdell also decided that Tim’s closest sibling was Jason, which is.... wow oh boy that’s something else, and although Tim and Dick did interact every once in awhile, they never seemed particularly close. I will note, however, that emotional distance between the n52 Batfamily is pretty damn normal.

Anonymous said: WONDERWOMAN WAS SO GOOD

IT REALLY WAS I cried real tears when she stepped out of that trench..... it was just.... so majestic and wonderful

@almost-puzzlesme said: ERMAGHERD DID YOU SEE IT

I forgot to answer this message!!! I’m so sorry!!! Yes, I saw it, and I’ve been screaming about it ever since

Anonymous said: So apparently Jason is a role model and Dick is Damian's other dad. Thanks Rebirth.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Anonymous said: Crap! How do I keep missing your giveaways by less than five minutes?!

Ah that’s really more my fault than yours :/// I used to do dignified giveaways where I gave everyone enough time to reblog the post and enter as many times as they wanted, but I got tired of keeping track of all of that. The way I do it now definitely rewards the people who are always online, which is an unfortunate bias

I hope you win eventually <3

Anonymous said: I don't need a plush I just wanted you to know you're very sweet for offering to make them :D

Oh thank you! You’re very sweet too

@arabian-batboy said: Thanks a lot for doing that request, I actually almost forgot that Jason would look older than Bruce last saw him, it makes me wonder if maybe one day some computer-person (maybe Tim?) close to Bruce would photoshop a pic of Jason to make him look as old as if he was still alive so that they would give it as a gift to Bruce and how Bruce would react to that (assuming this was before Jason came back)

Hmmmm that would be something I could see Bruce doing himself, but I’m not sure it would be a good idea for anyone else to spring on him. Bruce was pretty possessive of Jason’s memory while he was gone, and I don’t think he would react well to that particular surprise

@glorytommy said: This is a tumblr hug. 💕 (Send this to your ten favorite blogs)

@nightwinglover said: Thank you for existing. 💗 Send this to 10 people who you think deserve a sweet and kind message in their inbox ❤💛💚💙💜

@novelty--night said: Thank you for existing. 💗 Send this to 10 people who you think deserve a sweet and kind message in their inbox ❤💛💚💙💜

Thank y’all :)

Anonymous said: I was just thinking about your post about how Gotham thinks Damian killed Tim and I was sad because while Damian is probably outwardly like 'tch Drake's death just proves he truly was inferior' he's probably actually pretty messed up about it. And he hears the whispers and rumors and sees the glances at meetings and galas and regardless of his past attempts on Tim's life it still makes him a little sick to his stomach to know people believe he truly did murder him in cold blood just for money.

Right?? It would be super messed up for a couple reasons, the first being that Damian super did try to kill Tim that one time, so even though he wouldn’t try it now-- and that growth is very important in how he sees himself-- he can’t exactly claim the high ground on this particular accusation. Plus it can’t be easy to have thousands of people add to your grief by accusing you of murdering someone you love are related to

Anonymous said: Please bury me in your Jason Todd plushies. Thank you.

Have you considered the chance that those plushies might crawl out of your grave, as they once did themselves

Anonymous said: What do you think would happen next after your catatonic Jason fic? Do you think Bruce would realize he wasn't hallucinating? When he does dies he assume this is just a homeless not that looks too much like Jason? That fic killed me and I would love any other thoughts you have on it

Hm assuming that we’re maintaining the proper timeline, Bruce can’t realize that’s really Jason-- if he did, Jason wouldn’t have ended up with the League, and we’d be looking at a very different fallout. I suppose we’ll have to say that Bruce never did figure it out, which is only believable if that kind of thing happened to Bruce all the time. And I think it did. He saw Jason everywhere, and the first few times, he investigated. That might really be Jason, maybe he isn’t dead, maybe this isn’t in my head.... but all of those times, it wasn’t. Eventually, he accepted that, so by the time that story happened, he didn’t look too closely.

Anonymous said: but what /is/ the actual dignified wayne family motto when translated into english

Well I’m not getting any canon results for that one, and I don’t want to try to make one up, but here’s something I found for the historical surname “Wayne”

“Time and chance occurs for all”

That seems to be a variation of Ecclesiastes 9:11: I have seen something else under the sun: “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

That would be King Solomon of Israel saying that victory is unpredictable; you can prepare as much as you want, but time and chance can give the battle to the person that should logically lose. That’s an amazing motto for the batfamily considering that Bruce’s #1 rule is “be prepared.” On the one hand, the passage seems to go against Bruce’s philosophy, but on the other, in the context of the superhero world, the batfamily usually is the one that should logically lose. I’m super willing to accept this motto.

Anonymous said: fellow college station resident here; I understand how you feel completely. sending good vibes for your drive tomorrow, and I wish you all the best

I made it home! I’m still really upset about leaving though :/// I’m not even moving that far away, but it’s a whole three years of my life ending, you know? And I’m going to miss my friends and my roommate and my apartment

Anonymous said: witch comics are you reading right now?

Ahh I’m super behind on everything right now, but all the batfamily titles and superman

@shewritestochangethefuture said: Hi there! Just wanted to let you know how much I adore your blog :) I just found it recently and have spent /hours/ looking through it already and liking all your headcanons/ original stories. Everything you write is absolutely /hilarious/, and so spot on with each and every characterization. The way you've put so much research into some of the requests/asks you get is honestly super impressive. Way to go! I'm such a big fan of this blog, thank you for sharing it with the rest of the world!!

This message made me so happy <3

[nickelnumber91-blog]

THE SPIRITUAL BACKGROUND OF VEGAN “MEAT OF THE FIELDS” AND SEA-MEAT SEITAN RECIPES

Originally posted on Vegan Mainstream by Bryanna Clark Grogan on January 21, 2014 Here are some recipes that I developed for the Vegan Mainstream Cookbook Club as their "January Chef" in 2014.  This entailed writing an article, with recipes and photos, and doing a video chat with the wonderful and patient Stephanie Redcross and Emma Laroque. If you'd like to see the video of the live chat, it's available here. It was fun chatting with Stephanie, who is in Georgia (USA) and Emma, who lives across the Straight, not far from where I live!

I grew up in California, most of that time in San Francisco, within walking distance to Fisherman’s Wharf. The majority of the rest of my life has been spent on the West Coast of British Columbia (pre-and-post-vegan). My father was Peruvian, with an Italian mother. These facts alone might explain why I have seafood cravings to this day, 25 years after becoming vegan.

Some vegans, the ones who turn up their noses at any sort of replication of animal proteins, might say “get over it and eat some nori seaweed” (which I do from time to time), but inventing dishes is my craft, if you will. I can’t help being inspired by memories of the delicious meals of my past. I have a keen memory for outstanding meals—the tastes, smells and textures of certain dishes.

Don’t get me wrong—I love beans and grains, nuts and vegetables, and we eat them regularly and enthusiastically. But certain dishes of one’s culture, family background, holiday customs, and where we grew up stick with us, conjure up wonderful memories and feelings of comfort and pleasure. To deny these feelings, especially those of another vegan, out of some effort to be “pure”, even when no animal is harmed, seems misguided to me.

BACK IN TIME

Interestingly, (considering the “purity” angle), fine vegetarian cuisine developed first in Buddhist monasteries. The importation of Buddhism from India during the Han Dynasty (C.E. 58-75) influenced the development of a sophisticated vegetarian cuisine, since one of the five abstentions of orthodox Buddhism is an injunction against taking life. According to Hsiang Ju Lin and Tsuifeng Lin in their book Chinese Gastronomy (Hastings House, NY, 1969):

“Buddhists are vegetarians, consequently a small pocket of gastronomy has developed, fascinating in its attempt to create the ordinary flavours and appearance of fish and meat by using vegetarian ingredients. The Buddhists, whether monks or ordinary people, mingled freely with the non-vegetarians, and because the manners of Chinese society are all-embracing and diffuse, felt obliged to provide food which looked and almost tasted like meat. This was a sign of hospitality.”

Wealthy ladies would make pilgrimages to the city temples, having ordered a vegetarian lunch in advance. (This was apparently one of the few occasions on which wealthy women could go out by themselves.) The authors continue:

“The school of cooking which originated in the temple kitchens expanded and was taken up by the Yangchow cooks, specializing in delicate pastries and noodles. The challenge of simulating textures and appearance was irresistible. They were, in fact, able to reproduce even the intricate diamond pattern of duck skin, by lightly scoring smooth bean curd and filling in the cuts with a soy sauce mixture. Vegetarianism, which had originated for ethical reasons, finally became the gastronome’s business, and fell into the fine hands of the pastry cook.”

The pious Buddhist Emperor Wu (Wudi) of the Liang dynasty (also known as the Southern Liang Dynasty, C.E. 502-557), who donned monk’s robes several times throughout his reign, wrote an essay entitled Forsake Alcohol and Meat, in which he urged Buddhists to become vegetarians. He modelled much of his rule after the Indian Buddhist Emperor Ashoka of the Maurya Dynasty (273 -32 B.C.E), establishing Buddhism as the state religion of China, and prohibiting monks from drinking wine and killing animals. From that time on, vegetarianism in China was linked with the Buddhist prohibition against taking life. To this day, many Chinese and Japanese Buddhists sects prohibit eating meat.

Although tofu and other Chinese soy products are strongly associated with Chinese vegetarian cuisine, it is less well-known that wheat gluten may have been introduced into Chinese cuisine as early as during the reign of Emperor Wu (see paragraph above). The making of a sort of proto-gluten is described in the Chhi MinYao Shu (Notes on Miscellaneous Affairs; C.E .544

[Liang Dynasty]). Eventually, wheat gluten was called mien chin, meaning “the sinew of flour”, and was a well-established term by the Sung period (C.E. 969-1279), mentioned in writings of the time. A passage about iron and steel from Shên Kua’s Mêng Chhi Pi Than (Dream Pool Essays, C.E. 1086) reads: “Steel is to iron as mien chin (gluten) is to mien (flour). It is only after thoroughly washing the dough that gluten is revealed.”

Gluten was mentioned over the centuries by many writers and scholars, even in novels, such as Hsi Yu Chi (Journey to the West, C.E. 1570) and Ju Lin Wai Shi (The Unofficial History of the Literati— C.E. 1740.). This indicates that gluten was accepted outside of the circle of Buddhist ascetics. Recipes for cooking gluten are found in the major culinary works of the Yuan to the Qing (Chhing) Dynasties (C.E. 1279- 1912).

Over the centuries, Chinese chefs devised ever more elaborate recipes for meatless “meats”, “seafood”, and “poultry”. Stella Lau Fessler, in her book Chinese Meatless Cooking, wrote: “To a Chinese cook, imitating certain meat dishes with non-meat ingredients is not simply a matter of replacing the meat. It is instead an effort to show off the great culinary art of China, to make the impossible possible.”

So, this is nothing new, obviously, and we vegan cooks who devise modern homemade meat and seafood substitutes have a great example and proud lineage to follow.

IT’S ALL IN THE NAME

What do we call these products, anyway? “Meat analog” or “meat alternative” or “meat substitute” sound dull and unappetizing, and “gluten”? Well, I’ll let my friend David Lee, founder of the Field Roast Co. from Seattle, explain why he coined another term for it: “You know, gluten, the word for wheat protein, is kind of an odd word. I think it’s kind of an unfortunate word. I wish it wasn’t called gluten because gluten is kind of—you know, ‘glue-tahn’—it’s just kind of an ‘uhh’-sounding word. It’s a word that I actually try to avoid.”

As you probably know, David calls his products “grain meat”. He explained to me: “…meat wasn’t exclusively associated with animal meats, or animal flesh. As a matter of fact, I think you can find in any dictionary that the word ‘meat’ used to mean  ‘food’ or ‘meal’, and also meant ‘substance’ (as in ‘the meat of the story’ or ‘the meat of the matter’). Think also of the word ‘nutmeat’ and how soy was called ‘the meat of the field’ in China.”

He also points out how milk is not exclusively dairy-based anymore—there are bean milks, like soy; grain milks, like oat and rice; seed milks, like quinoa, hemp and flax; and nut milks, such as almond, cashew, coconut and hazelnut. Soy why not “grain meat”, “nut meat”, soy meat” , etc.?

IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN

Delicious modern gluten/seitan/grain meat-based recipes abound on the Internet these days (often with the addition of other grain and legume flours), and in the pages of vegan cookbooks, but it’s difficult to find good recipes to satisfy those seafood cravings I was mentioning before. There are fewer seafood sub recipes online, and there are commercial products that I’ve read about, but they never seem to be available where I live. So I have had to devise my own recipes. There’s a “salmon” recipe in my bookWorld Vegan Feast (Vegan Heritage Press, 2011), but what I miss the most is shellfish—not only the taste, but the texture. The basic recipe I’m going to share with you below is satisfying to me, versatile, inexpensive, freeze-able and relatively easy to make. (I’m also including some favorite recipes using the basic product.) I hope you will enjoy these homemade products as much as I do, and devise your own recipes for using them.

INGREDIENTS: Mushroom/Kombu Broth: (Make this first and cool thoroughly.) 5 1/2 cups boiling water 10 medium-sized dried shiitake mushrooms or Chinese dried black forest mushrooms 1/3 cup dried boletus, mixed wild, or porcini mushrooms (or, if necessary, use about 16 shiitakes or Chinese mushrooms and omit the boletus or porcini) 1/2 oz dried kombu seaweed Dry mix: 2 cup pure gluten powder (vital wheat gluten) (See this link for how to tell if you have the right product) 1/2 cup chickpea flour, white bean flour, soy flour, or urad dal flour 2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon onion powder 1/2 teaspoon garlic granules Wet Mix: 1 1/2 cups cold Mushroom/Kombu Broth (see above) 12 oz extra-firm regular (NOT silken) tofu, broken up 1 tablespoon oil 1 teaspoon salt Cooking Broth: 3 1/4 cups hot Mushroom/Kombu Broth (see above at top of ingredient list) 1 tablespoon vegetarian “oyster” sauce (see recipe and info for commercial brands below) 1 teaspoon onion powder 1/2 teaspoon garlic granules

DIRECTIONS:

Mushroom/Kombu Broth (Make this first and cool thoroughly): Soak the mushrooms and kombu in the boiling water, covered, for about 30 minutes, then strain. Freeze the mushrooms for future use in recipes, if you have no use for them right away. Discard the kombu.

To cool off the broth quickly, place it in a shallow dish or bowl and place in the freezer until cool. DO NOT use hot broth in the Wet Mix! Hot liquid will make the seitan stringy.

For the Wet Mix, blend all of the ingredients until very smooth in a blender or food processor.

Mix the Dry Mix ingredients in the bowl of your electric mixer with dough hook attachment, or place them in the bread machine in the order given. Add the cooled Wet Mix and knead for about 10 minutes. (If your bread machine has a dough cycle-two kneads with a long rest in between, use that cycle. Otherwise, just run it through the kneading part and then unplug it and let it rest in the covered container, then plug it in again for another knead, then remove it.) Let rest for about 1 hour, covered. Divide the dough into 4 equal pieces. Roll each one out on a clean countertop with a rolling pin to make a rectangle about 3/4-inch thick. Cut each rectangle into 4 squares (more or less). Roll the squares out to about 3/8″-thick. The pieces will be thicker after cooking. Repeat until you have rolled all the dough out this way:

Preheat the oven to 300°F.

Place the seitan squares in 2 oiled 9×13″ baking pans. The squares can overlap a bit. Pour half of the Cooking Broth over the seitan in each pan. Cover with foil. Bake 30 minutes. Turn the cutlets over, cover and cook 15-30 minutes more. (You just want to let the cutlets absorb all of the broth, not really brown them, so keep an eye on them.) Separate them carefully. Cool them before proceeding. (You can place them on a platter and cool them quickly in the freezer, if you wish.)

To cut the Sea-Meat Scallops:

Cut as many rounds as possible out of the cooled seitan squares with a 1″ wide or slightly smaller round cookie cutter. (I had to buy a set of round cookie cutters in order to obtain one of this size).

Grind the scraps coarsely in a food processor to use for Chopped Sea-Meat (clam substitute). NOTE: All seitan freezes well.

Nutrition (per serving): 98.3 calories; 22% calories from fat; 2.6g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 140.0mg sodium; 73.8mg potassium; 5.3g carbohydrates; 0.5g fiber; 1.3g sugar; 14.1g protein; 2.1 points.

******************************************************

HOMEMADE VEGAN “SEAFOOD” SATISFIES SOME NOSTALGIC CRAVINGS

Printable Recipe

BRYANNA’S ITALIAN VEGAN PASTA WITH WHITE “CLAM” SAUCE

Serves 5

This is a “veganization” of an old favorite from my childhood. I cut the olive oil down as far as I could, but you MUST have some in this sauce! You can serve this with a vegan parmesan substitute, but this type of dish is normally eaten without cheese.

INGREDIENTS: 1 lb linguine, spaghetti or other pasta of choice (I used farfalle or bowtie pasta in the photo) 1/4 cup good extra virgin olive oil 1 medium onion, minced 6 cloves garlic, minced Optional: a few pinches of dried oregano or basil 1 cup Vegan “Sea Stock” (see recipe below) 1/2 cup dry white wine or white vermouth (can be non-alcoholic) 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 cups (loosely packed) Chopped Sea-Meat (see this link) 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley Optional: freshly-ground black pepper to taste, or pinch of red chile pepper flakes

 DIRECTIONS:

Place a large pot of water on to boil for the pasta.

Heat the oil in a large heavy skillet over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking. Add the onion, stirring, until starting to be golden, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic, and optional herbs, if using. Cook, stirring occasionally, until garlic is golden, about 2 minutes. Stir in the Vegan “Sea Stock” and wine, and boil, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until slightly reduced, about 3 minutes.

Cook the pasta in the pot of boiling salted water until al dente, then drain in a colander. While pasta is cooking, stir the Chopped Sea-Meat into the sauce and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, 4 to 6 minutes. Remove from heat. Taste for salt.

Immediately add the drained pasta to the sauce along with the parsley, then toss until combined well. Add optional pepper, if desired. Serve immediately.

Nutrition Facts Nutrition (per serving): 551.0 calories; 22% calories from fat; 14.3g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 440.0mg sodium; 338.0mg potassium; 77.9g carbohydrates; 3.5g fiber; 4.3g sugar; 23.8g protein; 11.5 points.

Yield: 4 cups This is a handy recipe for vegan “sea-meat” recipes.

6 cups hot water 10 medium dried shiitake or Chinese black forest mushrooms 1/2 oz dried kombu seaweed 2 teaspoons light miso 1 1/2 teaspoons vegetarian “oyster” sauce

(see recipe and info on commercial brands below) 1 teaspoon salt

 Simmer the mushrooms and kombu, covered, in the water for 30 minutes. Strain in a colander. Save the mushrooms for another dish, if you like. Discard the kombu. Stir in the miso, vegetarian “oyster” sauce, and salt. Dissolve thoroughly. Strain through a fine sieve. Refrigerate.

Nutrition Facts Nutrition (per 1/2 cup): 18.6 calories; 6% calories from fat; 0.2g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 318.5mg sodium; 75.3mg potassium; 4.3g carbohydrates; 0.6g fiber; 1.5g sugar; 0.7g protein ; 0.3 points.

Printable Recipe BRYANNA’S ANGEL HAIR PASTA WITH VEGAN “SCALLOPS” AND EDAMAMEServings: 6

This is deliciously simple Italian way to showcase your Sea-Meat Scallops. If you want a more “fishy” flavor, add a tablespoon or so of dulse or nori flakes to the sauce.

INGREDIENTS:

12 oz. Capelli d’Angelo (Angel Hair pasta– can be whole grain) 2 cups frozen or fresh shelled edamamé (green soybeans) 2 tablespoons good extra virgin olive oil 32 Sea-Meat Scallops (see recipe above) 1/4 cup Seasoned Flour (see recipe below) 2 green onions, chopped 4 teaspoon minced garlic (depending on your taste!) 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary (or 1 teaspoon dried) 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme (or 1/2 teaspoon dried) 1 1/2 cups Vegan “Sea Stock” (see recipe above) 1 1/2 cups dry white wine or white vermouth (can be non-alcoholic) Optional:1 tablespoon vegetarian mushroom-based “Oyster sauce” (see recipe and info on commercial brands below) salt and freshly-ground black pepper to taste) Serve with:  lemon wedgesGoVeggie! Vegan Soy Parmesan OR walnut-based Parma! (or your own homemade sub 

DIRECTIONS:

Place a large pot of water on to boil. When it boils, add the pasta and the thawed edamamé to the water and set the timer for 4 minutes. In a bowl, mix the Seasoned Flour with the Scallops until they are all coated.

Heat the olive oil in a large, heavy nonstick skillet. When hot, add the Scallops, green onion, and the garlic and quickly stir-fry over high heat until the Scallops are slightly seared. Add the Vegan “Sea Stock”, wine, herbs and salt and pepper to taste (and the “Oyster” Sauce and seaweed flakes, if using) to the skillet. Cook briefly at high heat.

Drain the pasta and edamamé when done and add to the skillet. With a large spoon and a pasta rake, toss the contents of the skillet while it cooks. You want the pasta to absorb most of the sauce, with just enough left so that it isn’t dry. Quickly divide the pasta evenly into 6 warm pasta bowls. Serve with salt, pepper, lemon wedges, and vegan parmesan substitute.

Nutrition Facts Nutrition (per serving): 478.0 calories; 20% calories from fat; 11.2g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 338.8mg sodium; 602.4mg potassium; 61.2g carbohydrates; 5.5g fiber; 3.7g sugar; 55.7g net carbs; 25.5g protein; 9.7 points.

BRYANNA’S SEASONED FLOUR Yield: 2 1/4 cups

Have some of this in your refrigerator at all times for costing vegetarian proteins before browning– it adds great flavor!

2 cups whole wheat, or other wholegrain, flour 1/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes 1 teaspoon salt OPTIONAL: 1 teaspoon onion powder, 1 teaspoon garlic granules and freshly-ground black pepper to taste. Other spices can be used, according to the type of recipe you are making.

 Mix together the flour, nutritional yeast flakes, salt, and, optional onion powder and black pepper, if using. Store in a covered container in the refrigerator.

Nutrition Facts

Nutrition (per 2 tablespoons): 50.4 calories; 5% calories from fat; 0.3g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 105.7mg sodium; 89.6mg potassium; 10.2g carbohydrates; 2.1g fiber; 0.1g sugar; 8.2g net carbs; 2.7g protein; 0.6 points.

Printable Recipe BRYANNA’S FRIED SEA-MEAT “SCALLOPS” ON ASPARAGUS WITH LEMON-GARLIC SAUCE Serves 4 This recipe goes quickly, so make the sauce first and keep it warm, and have the asparagus steaming while you fry the “Scallops”.

INGREDIENTS: Lemon-Garlic “Butter” Sauce: 4 teaspoons vegan butter 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 cups light vegetarian “chicken” broth (do not use a very salty type because you have to reduce it—try using 1/2 as much powder or paste as you would normally) 2 medium organic lemons, grated zest and juice 1/2 tablespoon cornstarch mixed with 1 tablespoon water Optional Finish: 4 teaspoons vegan butter Additional: 2 lbs. fresh asparagus, trimmed and steamed until tender, but not mushy Fried “Scallops”: 32 Sea-Meat Scallops (see recipe above) whole wheat flour for dredging 1 cup plain soy, hemp, or nut milk mixed with 1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 cups panko (Japanese breadcrumb– look for Ian’s Whole Wheat Panko Breadcrumbs, if you prefer whole grain. Amazon carries them.) oil for frying

DIRECTIONS: To make the Lemon-Garlic “Butter” Sauce: Heat the first 4 teaspoons of vegan butter in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and stir with a wooden spoon JUST until the garlic begins to turn golden. Add the broth and the zest and juice of the lemons. Bring to a boil over high heat.

Turn down to a high simmer and cook it down to 1 1/4 cups (important!). Stir in the cornstarch mixture and stir until thickened. Stir in the remaining 4 teaspoons of vegan butter, if using. Remove from heat and cover to keep warm.

To fry the “Scallops”: While the asparagus is steaming, set up shallow bowls with the whole wheat flour, the milk and lemon juice mixture, and the panko breadcrumbs in a line on your counter. Dredge the “Scallops” in the flour, then the curdled milk, and then coat all over with the panko. Place on a parchment-lined cookie sheet, not touching.

Heat an inch or so of oil in a large heavy skillet. When hot, add the coated scallops, turn the heat to medium-high, and fry until crispy on both sides. Drain on paper towels.

To Serve: Distribute the steamed asparagus on 4 plates. Pile 8 fried “Scallops” over each pile of asparagus. Drizzle warm Lemon-Garlic “Butter” Sauce over each serving, and serve more on the side.

Nutrition Facts Nutrition (per serving): 321.4 calories; 14% calories from fat; 5.3g total fat; 0.0mg cholesterol; 601.4mg sodium; 741.8mg potassium; 61.0g carbohydrates; 9.9g fiber; 11.7g sugar; 13.3g protein; 6.1 points. Printable Recipe VEGETARIAN “OYSTER” SAUCE:

Chinese oyster sauce is a favorite flavoring, thick, rich-tasting, and slightly sweet. I use the vegan version frequently to coat plain tofu for use in stir-fries and fried dishes instead of chicken, and, of course, it’s essential in some Chinese dishes. As well, it can add rich flavor to homemade seitan/grain meat. If you can’t buy it, it’s easy to make a very acceptable substitute.

You can find commercial vegetarian versions, made with mushrooms, in some Asian groceries and large supermarkets (and online, including at amazon). Sometimes it is labeled “vegetarian oyster sauce” or “mushroom oyster sauce”. It is also marketed as “vegetarian stir-fry sauce” (Lee Kum Kee brand). It keeps for a long time in the refrigerator. However, it can be difficult for people in some areas to find, so I am giving you a recipe for a homemade version.

BRYANNA’S HOMEMADE CHINESE VEGETARIAN MUSHROOM “OYSTER” SAUCE (ALSO KNOWN AS “VEGETARIAN STIR-FRY SAUCE”)

Makes 18 liquid oz., or about the same as a commercial bottle NOTE ON MUSHROOMS: For the dried mushrooms, you don’t need expensive shiitakes—just use the inexpensive dried Chinese mushrooms (or Chinese forest mushrooms) that are easily available. Snap off the stems and discard them, then grind the mushrooms to a powder in a DRY, clean blender or coffee/spice grinder.

1 1/2 cups boiling water 6 tablespoons ground dried Chinese mushroom

(see note above) 6 tablespoons Chinese brown bean sauce or paste OR use 5 tablespoons mild brown miso + 1 tablespoon water 6 tablespoons soy sauce 6 generous tablespoons brown sugar 1 tablespoon cornstarch (can be organic) dissolved in 1 tablespoon cold water

 (IMPORTANT: leave the plastic cap out of the center hole in the blender lid and cover it with a folded towel, so that the hot liquid doesn’t explode

.) Pour into in a medium saucepan and heat to boiling over high heat. Add the dissolved cornstarch and stir until thickened. Cool and store in a covered jar or bottle in the refrigerator. Since it is quite salty and sweet, it should keep for several months.

NOTE: You can, alternatively, microwave the mixture, with the cornstarch, in a medium bowl and cook on 100% power for about 1 minute, then whisk. Repeat until thickened and store as above.

Source: http://veganfeastkitchen.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-spiritual-background-of-vegan-meat.html

[seanmeverett]

Emerging Trends of Master Product Management

What you need to be at the top of your game in 2019

I. THE WORLD HAS CHANGED

The world of Product Management is no longer changing. It has changed. At some point over the last few years we transitioned into a new way of thinking when it comes to technology. Let’s review the situation as we move into the last year of this decade.

What used to be emerging tech a decade ago has now become the de facto standard. VCs used to be enamored by SoMoLo (Social, Local, Mobile) and Gamification, but the new emerging technologies revolve around Spatial Computing. The focus now is about taking computing from behind a rectangular piece of glass and bringing it into the real world. This includes Augmented and Virtual Reality as the interface layer, Artificial Intelligence as the logic layer, and Blockchain as the emerging database layer. With 5G connectivity and the proliferation of IoT devices and sensors, we enable new things like self-driving and Pokémon or Amazon Go.

The future of Humanizing our Tech

Our interfaces are becoming ever more invisible as we begin to wear our computers. AirPods in the ear and speaking to voice assistants like Siri and Alexa our in the world or at home. Even physical touch interfaces went from some-of-the-time with smart phone taps to all-of-the-time with vibrating wearables and always-on heart rate monitoring.

Meanwhile, blue chip industrial companies are investing in SAAS-based technologies and because Wall Street no longer rewarding a gigantic sales team that has to start each quarter from zero. The sawtooth revenue curve of the past is being replaced by curves that look more like hockey sticks. It’s not just software that’s eating the world, it’s also their business models. Namely, moving from one-time payments to Monthly Recurring Revenue from Software as a Service. Did you know Salesforce got its start by convincing customers they shouldn’t use installable CDs, but rather a website that gives them updates every day? Now this is taken for granted but changing software buying patterns was hard in the beginning.

Today, everyone has a startup or a side hustle. What we used to hear five years ago, “I’ve got an idea for an app”, is now, “I’m raising $1M on a $5M pre- and have traction with 100,000 users”. Wait, what? You’re only 15 years old? Which brings us to our next point. Digital Natives, Gen Z, and yes, Millennials, have overtaken mindshare, marketing, and advertising share from the Baby Boomers. Many of us with decades of Product experience merely adopted the tech, but these individuals were born into it. Christopher Nolan, eat your heart out.

Valuations have soared since 2008, and new millionaires are minted so regularly that we now collective keep count in billions. Growth at all costs, even profits, have created an irrational exuberance the likes of which Greenspan could hardly comprehend during the go go dot-com days.

Even retailing has changed. The anchors of malls aren’t seeing the foot traffic they once did, Sears is shuttering its doors and Best Buy is struggling. The reason is because we get free shipping and cheaper prices shopping online, and at least in the US, eCommerce executive���s go-to-market strategy is simply www.amazon.com.

As we transition into the mindset of investors, we see a more modern Private Equity, new family offices sprouting up in record numbers, new regulations like the JOBS Act, and new funding mechanisms like Initial Coin Offerings (ICOs) and Security Token Offerings (STOs) enabling much more capital flowing into tech than ever before. Because traditional LPs have been reading the same blogs and would rather source and diligence their own deals than pay a middle man their 2-and-20 fees, we see more demand than ever for the best deals and unique deal flow as a competitive differentiator. The leveraged buyouts of yore targeting low-growth manufacturing firms are now targeting niche software companies because the economics and multiples are better with the same consistent cash flow.

As we turn our attention to go-to-market strategies, the traditional ad budgets spent on TV and display continue to evolve more towards a universal view of a person. Spend on Influencers have shifted from Movie Stars and Athletes to the Kardashians, and then to micro-influencers, and now to pico-influencers with 500 followers who are all personal connections. It’s the word-of-mouth virality that spells success for many products, after all. GDPR regulations that came online in mid 2018 means every website we now visit has a horribly thick bottom bar overtaking our screens. As a result of all this hypertargeting, user tracking, and dynamic content, the user experience of the web has decreased dramatically, especially when including abysmal loading times resulting from excessive overuse of Javascript. Did you know there are now 7,000 MarTech startups, up from 5,000 only a few short years ago, creating a bewildering amount of programmatic ad choices, and ever-increasing customer acquisition costs. The result being building quality product mechanics for incenting organic virality and engagement are 10x harder than they used to be.

Finally, there’s a resurgence of interest around outer space and private rocket companies. Space Tech is a thing and with falling prices of launches by Blue Origin and SpaceX, the cubesat subsector will ultimately enable next-generation cellular connectivity from space. This is how the other 50% of humanity gets internet access while also being a source of cash for the burgeoning New Space industry in desperate need of investment.

II. THE WINNERS & THE LOSERS

Taken together, we’re all playing a whole new ballgame. The playing field has become shorter while the game has become faster, and harder. Greenfield opportunities where you used to be competitive with a buggy LAMP stack and lackluster UX has even stopped working in the Enterprise. High-quality consumer apps that everyone now uses means we expect the same from all our software, including what we use at work. And desktop apps are no longer enough. The world has become smaller but we’re traveling more often and so we’d rather lose our luggage than our smart phone. We expect our work software to be just as efficient as the apps we use for play. Customers and users don’t care that it takes 320 different video encoding renditions for a single video file shared behind a firewall. “It’s just a play button, why is that so hard?” They don’t care how the sausage is made, expect perfect connectivity and high-resolution streaming. And expect it to be as cheap as YouTube.

We have reached a significant milestone for humanity. Half the human population is connected to the internet, mostly with mobile phones, and everyone is in search of the next gigantic growth product. Skill and talent has blossomed in unexpected markets around the world. France is a key global spot for world-class software development, Africa is emerging as a new startup capital learning from the likes of the Valley and Singapore, while China and the US are in an AI arms race for powering the world of our future. Information is shared in tiny bursts through text messages and short-form videos, with the entire world is trying to steal market share of eyeball for their Monthly Active Users.

At this point you may be feeling a bit down, wondering why you should even consider starting a new project. With the degree of difficulty steadily marching up-and-to-the-right, what hope do you have for standing out in a sea of competing projects, apps, sites, and initiatives?

The winners will be the ones who both Accept & Acclimate to this new world quickly. There’s no time to debate. The winners take action. The losers, on the other hand, will continue to exist in the Web 2.0 or, even worse, pre-connected world. It’s true that legacy business models and declining markets have a much longer tail than anyone realizes, but it’s getting shorter.

In either case, you’re either compounding in a positive direction or a negative direction. The graphic below from Farnam Street tells the story better than any amount of words could.

Source: Farnam Street

The key insight here is that it doesn’t require organization-wide adoption to reap the benefits. It only takes a single “2-pizza team”, as Jeff Bezos famously states, to kickstart action in the right direction. But whom you pick for those teams makes all the difference in the world.

So it begs the question: with a discipline as varied and misunderstood as Product Management, how can we begin to slice the skill sets required to determine the right person for the first project but also the second? Is it a mini-CEO, a turnaround genius, a mobile app maven with hundreds of daily builds, or a growth hacking expert who’s earned the stripes from a decade in the trenches? As a high-performing Product Officer, you need all of these next-level skills to stay at the top of the capabilities mountain.

The Product winners understand the importance of spending the time and budget to go find the right talent before doing anything else. The team is the single biggest difference maker between 2x and 10x. The Product losers, on the other hand, focus on business as usual and going with whomever is a phone call away, whether or not they have the requisite skills required to execute in this new world.

III. THE PROMISED LAND

But what does it look like to win? It means you’ve got a successful project on your hands. Your KPIs are up, the product is working, the team is energized, and the kudos stream in from around the internal organization and external community. Most importantly, your revenue and/or users are growing with a healthy k-factor above 1. The A/B testing and Cohort analysis is paying off once you found the correlation between Retention and Engagement. You’ve maintained quality and are in a great repeating cadence of 1) customer development, 2) agile design and development, and 3) continuous deployment and retrospectives.

Master-level Product Management means that the compounding flywheel effect applies to your product, but also the operations of your team, whether that’s a small 3-person group or a large 10,000 person global conglomerate.

A well-run machine is the opposite of chaos. You’ve developed esoteric metrics, like how many Slack messages are sent and how many files are sent back and forth to tell you how good the team is working together and how high-quality the work product is. And of course, that the entire group works backwards from the customer or user, and not forwards from the technology, unless we’re in Hard Tech territory like Quantum Computing.

Master Product Managers have been doing all these things for years but as we move towards 2020, a new set of skills has emerged.

IV. TOP 3% PRODUCT MANAGEMENT MASTERY FEATURES

Below are the top things you need to execute on to maintain your role as one of the best Product Managers in the world, or in identifying them for your next project.

Focus on one KPI: Revenue. Paul Graham of YC fame said a Startup could be defined by a sigle word: growth. Projects and businesses can also be defined by such a word. If the business is not making money, then eventually it ceases to exist. So, for any Master Product Manager, the starting base-level KPI for any project must have Revenue in it somewhere. Even a consumer app with MAU as a metric eventually needs to become self-sufficient at some point. You can choose a monthly subscription fee (Netflix) which has gained popularity above the one-time purchase to match ongoing revenue with ongoing costs, or an ad-supported model (Facebook) to sustain itself. Pricing strategy is understood as a key component of this. If you double the price and demand decreases by less than half, then you just created additional revenue growth with nearly zero marginal cost. In short, the right Product also has the right Price. Note that we’re leaving aside Not-for-Profits as they have a different motivation and core KPI, which would typically center around positive impact, measured by Human, Animal, or Environmental improvement.

Understand and design business models, especially applying them in new ways. A project starts by answering the question of “Who buys what from whom, for how much, and why?” For a lemonade stand, the answer is: a customer buys lemonade from us for $1 because she’s thirsty and we’re located right next to the park she walks her dog at. There are a limited set of business models that exist, like Remove-the-Middle-Man or Give-Away-the-Razor-To-Sell-the-Blade. Flipping standard business models on their head creates new insights and the Master Product Manager has a list of them at the ready with examples. One such example is the new online school that kept the definition of the customer the same (the student), but shifted when the student pays. Instead of paying every semester for classes as a big up-front cost for a buyer with very little money, this startup shifted the cost for the student to a percentage of salary for the first two years after graduation. Of course, the school makes a promise that they will help the student get placed. So, the novel insight here was shifting the business model to a transaction fee of the benefit rather than an up-front fixed cost. Payment processors have been using this model for some time. You submit an invoice to someone and in return for a company processing that payment, you’re willing to give them a fee because it’s small compared to the amount of money you just earned. It’s the same concept, now applied to a different industry: education. Gamification and Incentive design also play a part and have been recognized widely in the tech community since the days of Foursquare and Gowalla. Today, with the emergence of Initial Coin Offerings and its successor, Security Token Offerings, creating an app that becomes an economy means a Master Product Manager needs to understand the intricacies of micro and macroeconomics down to the granular level of “How do users earn tokens?” and “Where do users spend tokens?”. In the beginning of Bitcoin, for instance, it was much easier to acquire the cryptocurrency than it was finding who would accept it as payment. Thus, supply, demand, and transactions are important for unleashing value creation and developing a healthy economy. See Metcalfe’s Law for more.

Position Brand as a key differentiator. A brand is not a logo or a design. A brand is how it makes you feel. Apple feels different than Google which feels different than Facebook or Amazon. They do different jobs for their users, but it’s wisely said that the money in a company’s bank account is really just a physical measure of the trust that their customers or users have in the organization. People spend more money and return more often to brands they love. Today, when consumers are much less brand loyal and are willing to switch providers and products on a dime based on the service they receive (i.e., how it makes them feel), getting Brand right is a big deal.

Executes as CEO of the Product and the real CEO. As the world moves faster, demands of shareholders and the team become larger, and quality-at-speed becomes the new standard, CEOs and Founders are spread more thin than ever. Master Product Managers understand the intricacies of the entire business, not just their own product, in order to successfully deliver on where the puck is heading. They can run the business if the CEO was on leave for a month, they see around corners, understand where the industry is headed, talk with the Board and investors, raise capital while maintaining cost controls, hire grade-A talent, work with adjacent industries to establish new critical Business Development opportunities, and execute capital allocation strategies. See the book Outsiders by William Thorndike for more on how the top 8 public company CEOs over the last half century allocate capital.

Embed social and moral ethics into the atomic unit of the product. MNI Targeted Media’s study showed that more than 50% of Gen Z (i.e., between age 3 and 23) favor a brand who is socially conscious, so the $4B in buying power they have today will transform into tens of billions more when they reach full maturity. Master Product Managers not only act as technology builders, but as an ethical voice of the product and organization as well. They are not afraid to raise a red flag, take a stand, and stick to what’s right and just. Even the CEO of the most valuable brand in the world, Tim Cook, has taken stands for human rights and privacy, total shareholder return be damned (though studies have shown it actually helps). In addition, while operating ethically within business has long been a subset of the standard CFA exam, it is a growing requirement when news spreads around the world in an hour, and talent has the ability leave in a moment’s notice to work for anyone from anywhere. Long-term relationships matter because the apprentice of today will be the master of tomorrow, and reputations are written in stone on the internet.

Has smooth PR and media presentation skills. Master Product Managers know how to talk to the media about the product succinctly. A “repeatable sound bite” is just another way of saying “viral marketing”. Because if the viewer can’t remember it and repeat it, that alone can negatively impact the product’s k-factor. Today, the builder is more important than ever, as it’s less the CEO talking about the product and more about the the trade-offs the people building it had to make. Jony Ive is a hot commodity because the way he thinks is a leading indicator of what gets built. Great Product people are comfortable on camera, and don’t use the “ums”, “ya knows”, and “likes” that have become so prevalent in spoken conversation. As the steward of the product, you represent the product both on camera and on social, whether or not your profile says, “my thoughts don’t reflect my employer”. Again, who you are definitely becomes what you build, especially when customers and users care so much about what Products do with their data, they research who the people are behind them. In terms of efficient communication, a former McKinsey consultant, Barbara Minto, literally wrote the book on it, called “The Minto Pyramid Principle”. She teaches you the way to craft concise memos, reports, presentations, and talking points for a short attention span audience. World-class product people study not just the art of Judo, but also the subtle art of communication.

Exist outside the tech bubble. There are 7.5 billion human beings in the world. These are the users and customers of your product. They have feelings, stresses, and relationships that machines don’t have. Understanding consumer behavior is arguably the most critical aspect of any product. The Job-To-Be-Done framework must also include something new called The-Feeling-It-Creates framework. Is your product about saving time, money, and stress, or is it about escape, fun, and entertainment? As an example, BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model was used almost entirely as the core product mechanic for Instagram, because Kevin Systrom took his class at Stanford and remembered it when investing his product from location-centric to image-centric. Dale Carnegie’s famous book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is another great resource as is Chip Heath’s book, “Made to Stick”. These are all now table stakes. Understanding human consciousness, and the move towards mindfulness are necessary requirements for building a product that moves past addiction, and into transcendence. Technology always changes, but humans never do.

IV. IS THIS POSSIBLE & WHAT’S NEXT?

What we’ve laid out here may seem overwhelming, especially for those Product people just entering the discipline. But because the best Product people are ruthless prioritization experts, and agile enough to climb seemingly insurmountable challenges, we believe this gets the best and the brightest excited.

This is a juicy new problem to solve, and a new vector for investing in ourselves and our discipline. “Give me more to learn!” we hear some of our close friends in the industry constantly saying.

So, yes, it is possible. Similar to the documentary, Jiro Dreams of Sushi, the mountain of mastery reaches ever higher, and even after seven decades spent as a master, it’s an unreachable target. So, if you’re more junior, or know nothing about Product, but need someone who does, you’ve come to the right place.

The subtleties in Products often end up making the most difference but can take decades of experience to uncover. Thankfully, this is where many of the top Product people in the world call home, to work together, and learn from each other.

We are equally as excited as we are humbled, to build the products that influence future generations.

— Sean

Emerging Trends of Master Product Management was originally published in Humanizing Tech on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from Stories by Sean M Everett on Medium http://bit.ly/2Cw8at5

[ceciliatan]

Live at #RT17 – Mark Coker @Smashwords Ten Trends Shaping Authorship

I’m at RT Booklovers this week, which is one of the largest reader/writer conferences out there. RT started life as “Romantic Times” but it now encompasses all commercial fiction genres including YA, mystery, women’s fiction, science fiction, and so on, but retains a strong romance focus. One of the major forces that has reshaped the book industry, and the romance genre in particular, of course, is ebook publishing and ebook SELF-publishing. A major figure in that revolution over the past ten years has been Mark Coker of Smashwords, one of the early self-publishing platforms and not only an online retail store but a distributor to the other retailers (Kobo, Apple, B&N, etc.)

Mark always has insightful things to say about the state of the ebook market, and later today he’ll be unveiling the annual Smashwords data survey, where they slice and dice the big data of what’s happening in sales across all retailers that they can see. But his earlier session today was “Ten Trends Shaping the Future of Romance Authorship.” With Mark’s permission I’ll now present you those ten trends as a listicle.

(Caveat: This is very close to verbatim what Mark said, but as a typist I can only capture about 60% to 70% of the true transcript, and any errors you may find in here are purely mine.)

Mark Coker: So much news happening every day, every month, it can be bewildering, and it’s easy to mistake ephemeral news for trends. Today I’m going to talk about firmly entrenched macro trends that are going to persist for a long time. These are what are driving your threats and opportunities in publishing forward. Some may be obvious, some may not. These may provoke some strong feelings. These are some important issues that should provoke greater discussion so please share this information widely:

1. Rise of Ebooks Screens are the new paper. Until about 2012-2013 we saw exponential growth in ebook sales. Overall now ebooks are 25% of the retail book market (in terms of units). In romance ebooks and self-publishing are a much larger portion than in other genres, and if we look at the amount of time spent reading or pages read on screens (rather than unit sales), 50% of all pages are now read on screens. But growth has slowed and we’ve reached a print/ebook equilibrium now. Ebooks are going to continue to be a top choice for many readers. Instant delivery of reading pleasure is what continues to drive ebooks, along with low prices and huge diversity of choices, and convenient sample and purchase selections.

All authors are indie authors because you have the freedom to choose whether you indie publish, trad publish, or hybrid.

2. Democratization of the publishing process. The gatekeepers used to control the entire industry. Publishers were the gatekeepers at the pearly gates of authordom. But because of digital, publishing is now democratized. You also couldn’t have a million books in a store, meaning distribution was artificially constrained by the footprint of the store. But shelfspace online is free/cheap and unlimited. Even if your book doesn’t sell a single copy, every retailer wants to keep your book “in stock.” It’s the reader judgement that matters more than others. Readers are the gatekeepers now. The best practices knowledge has also become democratized. You’re learning how to become a more professional author and publisher. Authors are starting to wonder what they need a publisher for and this is pushing publishers to be better partners to authors.

40% of all sales via the Apple store are in other countries.

3. Ebooks are going global. Free from the logistical limitations of print, it’s now possible for readers around the world to have access to millions of books. Kobo was the first to go global. Apple was in 51 different countries. Amazon is now in 14 to 200 countries depending how you count. Smashwords is in every country we can reach. 90% of what is at Smashwords is English, but 40% of all sales via the Apple store are in other countries. As these retailers build out their global footprints, ebooks on sale in them will grow, too.

Being pro-author doesn’t mean being anti-publisher.

4. The rise of indie authorship. Self-publishing has been around for a long time. Dan Poynter published his self-pub manual for decades (before he passed away a year and a half ago) but it’s really the ebook revolution that changed indie authorship and made it the most viable. Being pro-author doesn’t mean being anti-publisher. I wrote an indie author manifesto about how every writer deserves to be a published author. Every writer deserves to have a chance to be judged by readers. The manifesto talks about the professionalism that indie authors have. Don’t let anyone tell you you are an amateur if you have the knowledge and capabilities to do it. All authors are indie authors because you have the freedom to choose whether you indie publish, trad publish, or hybrid. Some in the indie community have tried to turn it into a religious war against the publishers. That’s toxic. There are plenty of reasons publishers can be criticized, but all options make for a more vibrant publishing ecosystem. In the early days of Smashwords we had some early authors in 2008 and 2009 who hit the NY Times list and then were recruited away by the publishers. At first I was sad about losing them but then I realized it’s really a reason to celebrate. How many here are already self-publishing? (*most hands raised*) How many here are considering self-publishing (who haven’t before)? (*a few more hands raised*) A few. Self-publishers love that they have total creative control. They have faster time to market. They keep all their rights. You can go global without having licenses divvied up all among various markets as if it’s a print world. You have access to the same professional grade tools that the big publishers do. You have lower expenses than a big publisher. You can offer your customer a lower-priced product than the big publisher and earn a higher royalty. You earn from 60 to 80 percent of the list price as a royalty per sale. A trad published author earns 17% to 20% in royalty (25% on the NET, not on the list price).

5. Indie authors are hitting all the bestseller lists. It used to be only every once in a while that a self-published book would hit the lists. Now it’s commonplace, almost every week. I know the NY Times has screwed up their lists a little bit for romance, but this trend isn’t going away. I truly feel indie ebooks are going to dominate the ebook bestseller lists in the future. The larger macro trend here is that indie ebook authors will continue to use their strategic advantages over big publishers. You spend 24 hours a day thikning about your readers. Your publisher can’t do that.

6. The stigma on self-publishing is melting away. In the olden days self-publishing was “vanity publishing.” Ten years ago the thinking was that only publishers could decide which books were good enough to publish. The idea was you took your rejection and you worked harder on another book and another book until you wrote one good enough to get published. That was hogwash. It was toxic. The authors who published themselves with Smashwords in 2008 are my heroes for breaking free of that mindset, for daring to publish themselves. Some of those romance authors achieved commercial success with books their publishers had given back to them as “worthless.” Those romance authors were the first ones who showed us you could self-publish with pride, professionalism, and commercial success. That’s what is causing the stigma to melt away. Jamie Maguire was one of the indie authors who hit the Times list with Beautiful Disaster, then worked with a publisher. She really appreciated what they did for her, but then she decided to go back to self-publishing. She felt she could serve herself and her readers better with self-publishing. It’s great to have this freedom to choose. Others feel very disillusioned by the publishers. 25% on the net is too low. Publishers need to raise their ebook royalties. They’re still too slow to market. Kristin Ashley was another one couldn’t even find an agent, much less a publisher, but she was judged by readers [to be a commercial success]. Work with publishers and your agent to make sure you have a reasonable reversion clause so you can have your books back in the future when the publisher is no longer actively supporting your book. Again, they can’t love your book as much as you do.

7. The glut. We’ve reached a point where there are nearly unlimited numbers of good quality low priced ebooks. Everyone and their cat can–and has–become an author. No really, we have cats who are authors at Smashwords. (*laughter*) The supply of product is growing faster than the supply of customers. The trad publishers are starting to come down in price as a result. (Author’s note: but some Big 5 publishers still have $12.99 and $9.99 prices on their romance ebooks, which is nuts IMHO.)

The other ebook retailers are slowly being bled dry.

8. Amazon is driving massive devaluation of ebooks because of this glut. Take what I say with a grain of salt: I’ll try to be nice about it but I’m about to rip into Amazon. A lot of people don’t understand the brilliance of the Amazon business model: lowest possible prices and largest possible selection. It’s great as a customer to have that and their great service. But they also have KDP Select, their opt-in self-publishing option where you give them exclusivity for 90 days in exchange for better placement in the Kindle store. We don’t know how many books are in KU at any given time but it’s over a million books and is probably more than three million books. That’s a million reasons for customers to abandon other retailers and only purchase at Amazon. The other ebook retailers are slowly being bled dry. Amazon doesn’t have to make a profit on ebooks. They can keep squeezing the suppliers to keep offering their customers lower and lower prices. If you, the author, are the publisher, you can’t outsource your writing to a cheaper labor market like China. You still need to put food on your table. If the dominant ebook retailer–Amazon has 70% of the market–forces you to take less money, they are bullying you. They are bullying you into making your book more discoverable and more attractive to Amazon’s customers for the tradeoff of choking off the supply to other retailers, and forcing you to take a lower price than $2.99 or even 99 cents. Here you’ve finally achieved independence from the publishers and then bam, now you’re giving your independence back to Amazon. 9. Kindle Unlimited KDP Select/Kindle Unlimited is undermining the single copy sales of ebooks. One single copy sales you’re earning 60-80 percent of the list price. Not in KU. They are training the largest community of readers out there to read for what FEELS LIKE FREE. Even 99 cent books start to look expensive when you could read for free. At Amazon on the retail page the largest thing you see says “Read this book for free” with Kindle Unlimited. Now your amazing romance readers, who read more than a book a day, can just pay that $9.99 a month to Amazon and never pay for another book again. Even if you read five books a day you never run out of books at KU. I’ve already heard from Smashwords authors who have heard from readers “I won’t read your books unless you make your books available in Kindle Unlimited.” Millions of readers are being trained to think your $2.99 ebook is too expensive, and then the other level of devaluation is you are also being paid less. Amazon pays you out of the monthly pool with page reads. Yes, they make that pool bigger and bigger but they offer you less and less and put more restrictions on what you can do with your books. Amazon HAS to do that because their business model IS to offer the lowest possible prices for the largest selection. It makes it impossible for the other retailers to compete. As a reader, how many reading hours to you get per dollar spent? With KU you get more. The slippery slope has started and the only way for other retailers to compete is going to be to do the same thing and keep paying you less.

So you may be asking, are we all screwed?

10. Indie authors are writing the next chapter for this industry. YOU decide when, where, and how you publish. And it’s the collective decisions of everyone in this room over the next 24 months that determine the course of this industry for the nexy generation. That will determine if the sell-per-copy ebook retailers are going to survive. If there are only one or two sellers of a product, they will control your destiny. First let’s talk about the good news: indie authors are continuing to capture larger and larger parts of the reader market and you have access to those readers that you didn’t have ten years ago. Let’s celebrate that the power center moved from publishers to authors. But the bad news is that authors are surrendering their independence to KDP Select/Kindle Unlimited. Every book that goes in there is a vote to kill off the other retailers and a vote to surrender your independence. It’s hurting Amazon’s pure play retail competitors. Kobo and Barnes & Noble are very committed to you. But because their businesses are under stress, they can’t invest as much in you as they might want. So you may be asking, are we all screwed? And I mean that in a bad way! (*laughter*) Are we all going to become zombies leaving a sticky trail of unfinished adult coloring books in our wake? (*laughter*)

It’s partly up to us what happens. We lamented how Walmart moved in and put our local businesses out of business. We lamented how our manufacturing jobs moved to China. But it was to feed our gluttony. Amazon just feeds our gluttony. They do it to the big distributors and they do it to us. Squeezing their suppliers is the only way their business model can work. You as an author are relegated to the status of commodity producer. Commodities are indistinguishable from each other. You write a unique book, but reading is subjected to commodification. Reading is pleasure and experiences, and if there are so many great books out there, they will find another writer to go to. When Amazon launched KDP Select in 2011, I wrote a blog post that day saying it would lead authors to being tenant farmers tilling Amazon’s soil. You want your own soil and not to lose your independence. We fed the pet tiger that we knew would grow up to be a predator. We need to tame the beast. We need to say no to exclusivity. Authors and publishers must diversify sales channels. Amazon can suddenly crush you in the night when they roll over and change their algorithm. They can bury you so no one can find you. Publishers need to be more author-centric. Publishers are a service-provider to the author. They need to abandon the idea that only certain books are worthy. They are losing the pipeline of new authors. I’d like to see publishers adopt the best practices of self-publishing platforms so they don’t die off. Yeah, it would be great for my business if all publishers went out of business because it would drive authors to Smashwords, but I want a healthy ecosystem where we can all thrive.

Think long term. I have authors who tell me they hate KDP Select but they tell me they have to provide for their family and they need the bird in the hand instead of two in the bush. As an author, though, you have to say no to anyone who wants to take away your independence. Be paid for your own work, decide your own prices, don’t be limited where you sell. The more retailers in the world the better. Even if you never work with a trad publisher, the fact that they are out there is good for you. You may need them later.

Author asked a question question: I have eight books out there right now that were selling well on Amazon, but they changed the algorithm on February 28 and buried me. Sales dropped to 10-12 percent of what they were. So I put one book into KU on May 1st hoping it would help my name pop up again because I was desperate.

Mark: I understand that. But you’re poisoning the well. You cut off your other retailers and hurt them. Kobo and Barnes & Noble need your help because they don’t have another business. Apple will be fine because they have more money than god. So do Google even if they don’t know what they’re doing. But for the retailers who depend on ebooks it really hurts them.

Eventually what’s going to happen is only authors who PAY to be read on Amazon will be read on Amazon. Authors have been subsidizing the trad publishing industry for decades. Most writers in trad publishing couldn’t live without also having a day job. So publishers depended on not paying them enough to actually live. This is even worse than that.

Amazon makes it tricky. They make it seem like you have to be in KDP Select. Every step of the way there are check boxes and things that tell you “don’t you want to make the most money? click here.” Some authors don’t even know it’s optional. (And some customers don’t realize they can pay for the book instead of joining KU, too. -ctan)

Promote all retailers on your websites, not just Amazon. Have links to all the others.

Author question: But the reason we link to Amazon from our websites is because Amazon gives us a kickback with affiliate links. Does Smashwords do that?

Mark: Smashwords offers a commission but we are a small store. Our store pays the highest percentages, up to 80% list, so that’s the way we do it, you set your own price, your own percentages. I know Kobo and Barnes & Noble supposedly have affiliate programs also.

Author: They do but they’re much more complicated. You have to set up a Rakuten Linkshare account and it’s nowhere near as easy as Amazon makes it.

Mark: They need to make it easier for authors if they’re going to continue to compete. That’s an easy thing they could do.

Author question: What alternative are there in print to using Amazon’s Createspace?

Mark: Ingram Spark is the best POD alternative to Createspace. Ingram is the biggest book distributor in the world and they’re great people. They’re the old publishing world but with Spark they are moving into the indie world.

(That was all we had time for. I’ll be back to see the results of the annual Smashwords data analysis later today!)

from cecilia tan http://ift.tt/2qJ1Doi via IFTTT

[basic-baka]

Characters Having Agency (Part Yuri On Ice!)

i’m probably poking at a hornet’s nest at this point about it but i have a lot of feelings regarding the latest interview kubo gave (especially regarding the rings from episode 10). i’m only using this translation. also this is essentially the more coherent version of this twitter thread i made earlier.

and if you’re here to send me hate, i expect you to send me spite money so you can get a response from me. my time is valuable and i just really want to get this off my chest.

one of the biggest problem i’ve had with yuri on ice is the treatment of victor and how people laud him for being an ‘amazing’ character but then kubo says this in this interview:

Kubo: In the course of writing this story, even I found myself wondering just what kind of person Victor is. From about episode 4, together with Yūri, I started taking a peek into Victor. It was like I was trying to grasp something that I still couldn’t see… Even as I was writing Victor, I was often caught up in those kinds of feelings. In that sense, you could say that Victor is a character that moved and grew together with the anime as a whole.

i get it. i’m currently writing my own series and, of course, my characters aren’t exactly fully written out. however, there comes a problem when even by episode 4, people still didn’t know who victor was. allegations of him being abusive to yuuri were argued and debated about since the series’ beginning.

the problem is that: we don’t know who victor is. we know him as yuuri’s idol. we know him as a playboy (although he seems to be fully enamored by yuuri from the beginning), sort of. we know he’s the number one skater in the world because he’s spent years ice skating. but... there’s a massive problem with victor’s “character”: his whole world revolves around yuuri. he has no hopes, dreams, NOTHING besides yuuri’s.

now you might go, “okay, but cut kubo some slack! this is her first series!”

even if this is her first series, that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t put effort into it. and you’re also wrong: this may be her first series with two male leads, but she’s no stranger to this trope:

337 Biyooshi!!:  By all the usual measures, he could be considered a pretty useless guy: a scholastic failure, an athletic disaster, and a chronic loser... But Fukuda Shinichi has one passion: cheering for others! The 18-year-old captain of North Kanto Southern High's Cheerleading squad decides to make the most of his summer by attending cram school in Tokyo, only to find out that the whole trip was a sham! Things are looking up when he and his friend meet up with two cute Tokyo girls; too bad the girls brought them to a rip-off bar and took off! Ditched by his one remaining friend and stuck with an impossibly high bar bill, Fuku-kun's life couldn't get any worse! But just then he gets saved by Ume, his role model and former cheerleading squad captain! What is he doing in Tokyo... and why does everyone around seem to know and respect him? Without anywhere else to go, Fuku-kun decides follow Ume to his job, only to discover that... he's a male gigolo?!? Fukuda's summer of cheering others on has begun... and the streets of Tokyo's red-light district will never be the same!

Again:  Imamura Kinichiro reluctantly wakes up one day to attend his high school graduation. He'd made no friends in high school and joined no clubs. Everyone was afraid of him, due to his long blond hair and surly attitude. Reflecting on his awful high school years, he remembers a girl from the Japanese cheering squad that he saw in the welcome ceremony three years ago. Searching for the old cheering squad's clubroom, he accidentally startles a classmate, causing them both to fall down a flight of stairs... When he wakes up, it's the morning of his first day of high school, three years ago. As he confusedly goes through his day, he's able to correct a lot of the mistakes he made the first time around, such as actually interacting with the cheering squad girl, Usami Yoshiko! But did he really travel in time, or is this all just a dream he's having while his body is lying unconscious somewhere? Could he really have the chance to go through his high school years again?

Moteki:  One day, Fujimoto, a 29-year-old lonely temp worker, suddenly receives a surge of calls and e-mails all at once from the women connected to his past. That's right, he's finally hit popularity, something which comes only once in a lifetime for everyone! Feeling elated, Fujimoto decides to meet them one after the other... but things aren't always what they seem.

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT, GOOD ON YOU. i don’t blame you if you skipped that.

a lot of her basic premises has to do with guys who are suddenly really popular and have “anxiety” for dealing with popularity much like yuuri. and like yuuri, there’s a certain admirer or two who attach themselves to the main characters for one reason or another, our victor.

yuri on ice! is her first male/male lead series, as you can tell, she usually writes about heterosexual couples. but because of her homophobic tweet, this made me think that kubo really didn’t expect the fandom, especially the western fandom, to explode as it did. i joked about this on twitter that she’s using this fame to inflate her ego because so many fans are blowing smoke up her ass. it happens to the best of us. i don’t fault her for enjoying a surge of popularity.

what i do fault her though is her insistence that victor has any agency. in the episode, yuri buys the rings and gives one to victor in a fucking church and didn’t seem to want to deny that they were, essentially, good luck charms rather than engagement rings. as i mentioned before, victor’s world revolves yuuri despite having a pet of his own, his own apartment, his own career even. his character starts and ends with yuuri.

ask any fan of the series and they would tell you that victor loves yuuri with all his heart and wants nothing more than to be with him. but... kubo couldn’t let victor have that. by her saying the rings were good luck charms (paraphrasing) basically takes away what little victor had left: his love for yuuri is apparently completely platonic.

there’s a reason why i don’t like “word of god”. if it’s not in the story, especially if it’s fumbled as it is with this series, then it’s not official. that “kiss” is still up in the air for me, quite honestly. just because people can say it’s a kiss or a hug doesn’t make it so. it could be, but there’s also evidence it couldn’t be. the stupid censorship prevents me from making any conclusions. and yes, i would say this for a heterosexual couple. however, my point being, because the “word of god” in this instance is a means to take away his agency...it frustrates me.

she literally says she doesn’t know victor and went with what “he” wants but then turns around and say, “nah, their relationship isn’t romantic” essentially. and that’s extremely frustrating.

one of the main reasons why the finale of yuri on ice frustrates me so much is, the culmination of taking away victor’s agency. he had state a few episodes ago he had no interest in skating anymore. the main conflict at this point is gone: victor doesn’t want to come back.

the main conflict now: will yuuri or yuri win the gold? are victor and yuuri actually a couple?

that finale basically made it a “will you be my coach now and forever?” and victor goes back into skating because it fucking pleases yuuri. then what was that inner monologue for it? it was pointless!

one of the major arguments/debates within the fandom was whether or not the couple victor/yuuri abusive? i say no, because victor isn’t a character.

he’s literally cutout piece to fawn over yuuri when yuuri doesn’t ant to fawn over himself.

as a writer, especially as a new one, you’re going to fuck up and make shit characters. i have my own share that’s for fucking sure. however, the difference is that i see what i fuck up on, learn from it, and improve the character. KUBO HASN’T. from her summaries up above alone, she’s a very static writer and would rather play with tropes than create an interesting story.

of course, not all the characters you make at first will be shit - so long as you understand this: characters need to have agency. you’re creating literal creatures (however imaginary) with more than just looks, likes, and dislikes. why do they like that? why do they dislike it? why do they look the way they do?

you’re creating their story and what makes the characters themselves you’re giving them the agency to basically introduce themselves just how you would introduce yourself to someone new.

these feelings of mine doesn’t just apply to victor of course but characters like him and a character i especially liked from sword art online: asuna.

this video goes into detail about characters having agency and he uses nana as example of how to do it right (video contains series spoilers).

victor, for the sake of this post, has no agency of his own and it’s troubling because all he has is potential when he’s supposed to be the best. being the best isn’t the end of. people always wanna improve themselves (or not). what annoys me is that people act that victor is a well-written character but he’s not. it’s clear he was made up on the spot and there’s no real love behind his characterization. 

he’s barely a character. he’s barely human. even if this world is free from discrimination and hate, humans are not. humans will fuck up because that’s what we do best. this is one of the reasons why people don’t like mary sues/gary stus: agency is being taken away and ends up having little to no conflict.

LET YOUR CHARACTERS FUCK UP OTHERWISE YOU WON’T HAVE A STORY.

and you know what? i feel bad for gary stus/mary sues because they have to be perfect all the time. take kirito for example: this guy isn’t allowed to make any mistakes and that’s awful because he’s not allow to grow. the writer isn’t allowed to grow, and instead, is forced to break his world’s rules that’s already established even more just to prove how much of a badass he is.

my point being: let you characters grow and move. one of the biggest problem with the japanese story telling style is that the world is not allowed to move unless the main character deems it. you need to at least set some ground rules for your world before you can introduce new characters to it.

there’s a reason why i like certain characters that most people don’t: they have their own reasons for being the way they are. sure, it’s relatable mostly but i love the characters more who are more independent and are capable of making their own decisions and learn (or not) from it and why.

my favorite question while creating a character is why. if i can’t answer that question, then i try something else. and that’s why i’m especially frustrated by this.

congrats if you made it all the way down here.