#then i realized how unstable and depressive i was back then like damn

[datchu]

Bro i went down all my personal posts from the v beginning so p much 10 years ago and holy shit

[elendsessor]

bonus headcanon/relationship study ramble since the brainrot is eating away still and bc i do really enjoy their dynamic

some general + canon of vengeance koshimizu hcs and relationship with the protag hcs ahead.

this does contain massive af spoilers for smtvv and can be potentially triggering since death and depression mentions.

-koshimizu has a dad bod sorry not sorry.

-in fact he’s a total goddamn dad. literally old fashioned. he also enjoys watching baseball and yes can work a grill.

-there’s a bethel japan facebook group (he didn’t start it one of the scientists did and made him create a facebook account) so yes he’s had the displeasure of boomer meme exposure. abdiel won’t stop sharing those ai generated jesus pics either.

-his luck with relationships is so bad. let’s ignore the whole in actual japanese mythology tsukuyomi got married to amaterasu (aka his damn sister) thing. he only pursued one due to seeing humans do that, and since he does have a lot of kinship with humanity, yeah he’s gonna mimic behavior. did hook up with abdiel out of some kind of obligation but had no actual romantic feelings. it was the worst year and a half of his life. they can’t stand one another.

-one of many hcs i displayed in a fic i wrote but basically he met yuzuru via the fact that he constantly had to take miyazu to the nearest hospital. he might’ve not allowed it except he did notice some kind of connection. didn’t realize yuzuru was his knowledge until much later yet tried his hardest to keep him out of the demon summoning business. didn’t work obviously, yet he appreciated yuzuru’s enthusiasm. does treat both atsuta siblings like family and adoption was something he thought about, but due to his position, work, etc., it never came to be.

-is overworked to hell and back. seems to be the last of the logistics type proto fiends anyways so yeah has a lot of pressure put on him. despite being the prime minister, he doesn’t actually do a lot of that stuff. mostly up to proper politicians. he’s kinda like a mouthpiece for them since he was made to be that way. is responsible for anything revolving around public safety. has and always will be his top priority.

-his relationship with vkun is absurdly rocky. it’s more than the whole different souls thing or the fact that they haven’t properly worked with one another. they struggle to communicate and function as a nahobino and he does blame himself for it. they’re doing it out of necessity. really if it were up to him especially after losing yuzuru he would’ve never partnered up with vkun. however, thanks to aogami, he does feel like he owes it to his brother to take care of him.

-it’s weird knowing he has basically a second brother nor fully knows how sibling relations work. yes, he cares deeply and does have that brotherly connection with vkun, but they can’t find common ground outside of wanting to avenge their original partners, and he’s sure that’s not something they should be bonding over (or he should be encouraging). he wants to comfort vkun, but doesn’t know how to. he’s made attempts, but can’t fully follow through with what he thinks he should be doing.

-i did notice (and might make a more in depth post about) how, while not the dominant one, koshimizu does occasionally take over more. for how i see it, due to studies done on aogami and vkun’s nahobino form, he thinks it best to let vkun be in control since it’s more familiar to him. combat types hadn’t had success with fusion, nor have any for that matter, but they were made with being an extension in mind. as such, while inherently compatible with vkun, his different functions plus vkun not being his knowledge makes their form unstable.

-has plenty of regrets, including his relationship with aogami. they already were distant in design and where they ended up, but i do think he felt like he was, in some ways, superior due to how he adopted human emotions and culture while aogami hadn’t. it wasn’t until the battle for the throne or aogami’s “death” that he realized how much he cared.

-while he does state mourning won’t bring his or vkun’s partner back, he does experience grief, but bottles his emotions up as much as possible. part of it is because he always had to once he first developed feelings. he’s still a demon/machine thing and as such believes he shouldn’t have them, especially since he was made with potentially dying in mind. though, this is also because he wants to stay strong for vkun, especially with how badly vkun takes it. koshimizu is a lot more calm and capable than his new partner. he knows that. all he can do is try to provide some support.

-that being said the one thing he did do was make a small grave for yuzuru exactly where he passed on. there was a chance it could be destroyed, there was no body left behind, etc., yet he did think it to be the right thing to do.

-had no idea how to tell miyazu. in fact, he wanted to avoid telling her altogether. with the end of the world coming up, he’d rather not give her more emotional baggage, plus it likely wouldn’t have mattered. word spreads quickly so she learned about her brother’s passing anyways. all the things she accused koshimizu of doing in that missable subquest? he took those to heart. even though he knew none of it was true, he still felt guilty.

-the other unstable part about the tsukuyomibino? one of them supposedly hates the other. vkun thinks his presence is an insult. they look too damn familiar, and koshimizu instinctively calls him “young man.” only aogami can call him that—he’s adamant about it. doesn’t like the idea of sharing a body with him, either. he wasn’t even going to take the throne, rather leaving it up to goddess tao and possibly goddess yoko to decide. both his and koshimizu’s plan was to take down tiamat and whatever else remained of the qadištu.

-whatever happens after that? vkun feels like he might as well die. his mental health declining rapidly was something koshimizu noticed right away and tried working with him on. they did end up bonding more through this. vkun says he hates him, but in reality, he truly doesn’t, and regrets giving koshimizu the cold shoulder. he did want to apologize and thank him, but after realizing he’d never get the chance to, he at least decided to visit any tsukuyomi-related shrines to properly mourn/pray for him (though this is only for the law route, in chaos, he more ends up writing poems n letters in his memory). of course koshimizu understands his frustration. if there’s an afterlife he’s in, he does wish he could tell him that it’s okay.

-their form’s stability improved over time but this couldn’t be said for koshimizu’s ability to fight. he wasn’t made for it nor has had any real combat experience. some dialogue from one of the researchers suggests that it is taking a toll on him. he was going to die one way or another and accepted his fate long ago. didn’t make pushing himself any less torturous.

[natasha-in-space]

HIIIIIIIII DARLING

I'm sorry my hyperactive squirrel brain is excited to request because mystic messanger has been occupying my brain.

Anyways since your requests are open I was thinking

Zen X reader confession??? Like Zen confessing to reader,how he would do it and blablabla (also if it's possible without any spoilers for the story since I'm on the 10th day rn so y'now)

Anyways eat well and don't forget to drink (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

Thank you, dear anon! I hope you stay hydrated and eat well just as much. I had a lot of fun writing out your request! So much so that I decided to go with Zen's POV as well as your own. I hope you enjoy it :)

Zen was a hopeless romantic.

Perhaps it was just a side effect of all the exciting romance plots he always enjoyed acting out throughout his career, or maybe it was a natural part of who he was as a person. If you would ask him this directly, he wouldn't really know how to answer. Maybe, it was a combination of both. He longed for a meaningful connection with someone from a very early age, even if it wasn't necessarily romantic at the time. Songs and musicals gradually opened up his eyes to such an enormous array of breathtaking stories, full of people caring and loving ond another in so many difficult ways, both romantic as well as platonic... Something he couldn't really experience in his own home life. It was only natural for him to eventually start fantasizing about something similar on his own.

But, even despite all that... He never expected to fall for you so fast and so hard. The butterflies in his stomach he would have to deal with whenever he opened up the messenger as soon as he woke up and wondered whether or not he will see you there... how nice it would be to talk to you first thing in the morning, and how much he wanted to ask you about your plans for the day. The ticklish warmth blooming in his chest so breathtakingly whenever you would ask him about his day in turn, such genuine excitement felt in your sweet voice as he would talk to you over the phone in between his rehearsals... In fact, he got in trouble with his manager a few times already for always sneaking off to talk to you. He had no regrets. The many daydreams he would mull over in his own head as he ran his usual evening laps around his neighborhood... Thinking of how wonderful it would be to share his evening routine with you by his side. Would you two bicker like an old married couple? Or, maybe you'll stick together like glue? He couldn't help but want to find out.

It was all pretty dizzying to deal with already, in the best way possible, of course. It's been so long since he experienced the exciting feeling of falling in love.

But, when you showed up at his apartment? All worried for him of all people? He came to the realization that he was too deep to swim back out. Not like he wanted to, anyways. No matter how depressed and discouraged he would become, deep down, he knew he didn't want to let you go. You were the warm ray of sunlight he longed for. You supported him, you respected him, you encouraged him, and...

God, he hoped you would love him.

He made an effort to keep his sentimental heart under control for now. He wanted to be a proper gentleman to you! He wanted to take things nice and slow with you. Not to mention the scandal weighing down on his career currently, making his future rather unstable at best. You deserved someone who could provide for you and care for you... You deserved someone with a stable future. It wouldn't feel right for Zen to confront you with his feelings when he couldn't give you anything in return. At least, that's how he viewed it.

That is until he had to rush in to save you from that damn hacker.

Zen was aware of the danger this world possessed. Hell, he went through so many dangerous situations in his not so long lifetime, he could easily write an entire book about it, if he put his mind to it. But, nothing could compare to the paralyzing fear he felt in his very soul at the prospect of you being in danger, and him being unable to do anything about it. It made him act out in a way he hadn't in a long time. He will probably apologize to Seven for outright screaming at him to provide him the address to Rika's apartment... after giving him a piece of his mind at the party, that is.

Knowing that you were safe and sound beside him was an overwhelming relief that words couldn't describe. It was so strong, that his legs nearly gave out from underneath him the moment you two got back to his apartment. Still, he did his best to appear strong. For you. So that you could rely on him.

But... there was something else, too.

After almost losing you like that, he realized that he couldn't wait until the right moment to confess his feelings for you. Now, he knew more than ever, just how precious you became to him in a short amount of time that you have spent with him. And, truth is, he didn't want to hold back on his feelings anymore. You told him that he deserved to be selfish sometimes... So, as the day slowly faded into night, he gathered all his courage and paddled over to the tiny kitchen, where you resided currently.

"...Y/N?"

You were caught off guard and gasped as you whirled around to look at him with wide eyes. Damn it. He probably should have warned you first. You were probably still so shaken after everything that happened back at the apartment... He chastised himself internally before raising his hands up in the air to comfort you.

Well, no time like the present.

⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝

"My bad, my bad! Didn't mean to startle you. You okay?" Zen watched you with a worried expression plastered all over his beautifully sculpted face. Seeing him there caused your head to fill up with various thoughts for some reason. So many things have happened in the span of just ten measly days. And yet, it felt like months have passed. Figuring out your own feelings amid all this chaos was practically impossible!

"I- Yes, sorry! I just got lost in my head for a moment there." You laughed it off awkwardly. It was peculiar. Zen was always gorgeous, such is his fate. You thought it was only natural for you to get just a little bit flustered in his presence, especially if it's just the two of you in an enclosed space. But, right now, he was rather disheveled. His long hair was tied up in a messy bun, a couple of locks falling over his face rather adorably, his clothes were wrinkled from all the running you two went through today, and his face looked stricken with worry. And yet, somehow, you felt even more drawn to him than ever. He almost sparkled in that cheap kitchen lighting, much to your embarrassment. You couldn't even write it off on the possible moonlight, because his apartment had no windows!

As you stood staring at him, Zen began speaking with a nervous expression. "Y/N, to tell you the truth, I... have decided something after everything that happened to us today."

"Oh?" Just hearing him mention the horrible events of today's morning made all the color drain from your face. What was he going to tell you? You honestly had no idea, but, for some reason, your anxious mind came up with all sorts of worrying options. You sure hoped he wouldn't make you go back to that apartment... You were honestly not above begging if it came down to it. The thought of returning there was too much to handle.

Your chest felt incredibly tight with worry as you waited for him to continue with bated breath. Zen took a deep breath and then raised his piercing gaze back at you, making your heart skip a beat. And it wasn't due to the anxiety this time around. "What I want to say... is my true feelings. I know I already made it obvious that I like you, but... I want to say it properly this time around. I love you."

"Uh-" A small squeak slipped passed your lips as your breath got stuck in your throat. Did you hear him wrong, maybe? Did he... Did he really... So, you tried to pull yourself together and clarify. No reason to freak out just yet! "I... Did I... Did I hear that right? You... love me?"

"Yes, you heard it all precisely right. I love you, Y/N. As a person. As a partner. I love you." He didn't even hesitate. He spoke with confidence, his words were clear and loud enough for you to hear everything.

You could feel yourself freezing up again, the heat rushing to your cheeks before you could do anything to stop it. This was so different from the way you expected this conversation to go! Here you were, worrying about him sending you back to Rika's apartment, but instead he... confessed his love to you!? Amidst all the ticklish feelings of infatuation, came the feeling of great relief, making your shoulders slump forward.

Zen continued, carefully watching your reaction as he spoke. "I know that this is an inconvenient time for something like this. I know that the prospect of being with me in a romantic sense may be very stressful for you. But, please let me say this to you anyway. Y/N... I love you. I think... I think I fell for you even before we met face-to-face."

Zen's tender gaze made your legs feel weak from the intensity of his gaze. The eagerness in his beautiful ruby eyes conveyed more than even a thousand words ever could. He loved you. That's what his eyes told you. There was no doubt about it.

"You have always been so... genuinely supportive of me. You told me that I... that I am inspiring to you, both inside and out. You never saw me as just my looks. You never once doubted me during this recent scandal. Even when I doubted myself. You believed in me when no one else did. You... You don't know just how much you saved me." He smiled at you, and yet, it almost looked like he was about to tear up. He looked at you as if you were the most valuable thing in the entire universe at this moment. And the implications of that made your heart race even more than it already did, if that was even possible. Before you could reply in any way, though, he continued. "...I love your smile. I love how you always look straight at me and accept me as I am, even when I was at my weakest. I love you, Y/N. Because you saw me as who I am. I never knew someone could become so special to me in such a short amount of time, but... it's you, Y/N. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Zen..." Seeing all the emotion flowing through his eyes, and hearing him pour out his heart to you like this truly made you feel lightheaded. You were happy, but it wasn't due to his appearance. Oh, you were so unbelievably happy. And on the brink of crying, too. You were so relieved that he did not plan on sending you away, but you were even more relieved that...

The fact that you were also in love with Zen brought you relief. No other reason could be possible.

This conclusion was so natural, it was as simple as adding up 2 + 2. This was more than anything you've felt with him before. This was more than the ticklish sensations of surprise or embarrassment... You were just so incredibly happy. Giddy, even. The only thing that was left for you to do was to express it.

You accomplished it. Without even thinking, you reached for him and took hold of his sleeve, stopping him before he was about to go on with his words. In hindsight, this was a bit awkward, but you didn't care. Zen's eyes widened a little as he looked at you, awaiting your next move. "Y/N?"

But, unfortunately, you were at a loss for words. While Zen had too much to say, you couldn't form a single word, even as your chest was practically vibrating from all the feelings of affection and happiness stacked within it. You and Zen just stared at one another for a moment or two, nothing but the buzzing sound of his freezer breaking through the silence. Even though you knew you loved him back, you couldn't find the right words to tell him. Was there even any need for the right words? You didn't know. It was confusing. Confusing and so damn exciting at the same time.

You decided to go for it. Blurting out anything that would come to your frazzled mind. "Z-Zen, I- Me too! I mean- Love. I love you, too. That's what I mean."

That was not awkward at all. You couldn't suppress a stupid laugh as you realized just how embarrassingly high-pitched your voice sounded. God, you were such a mess. Regardless, you continued on. In some weird way, you messing up so terribly at first made it easier to just be honest from then on.

"Sounds like a dream come true, my prince/ss". He murmured in return. And, before you could even think about it, he gently cupped your cheek, making your breath hitch. "...Can I kiss you?"

"Wait, no. That didn't come out right. What I'm trying to say is... I am so, so happy to hear you say all of these things... And I don't care about the timing, or your career, or the scandal, or anything at all. I mean- No, I do care, just- Agh, you get what I mean!" This time, Zen chuckled along with you, making your stomach fill up with butterflies at the sweet sound of it. With a happy smile, he nodded along and looked at you expectedly. This made you forget all about your reservations or nerves at once. You felt comfortable, relaxed. "What I'm trying to say here is... I want to be by your side. Supporting you. Loving you. And... And being loved by you. Does that sound okay?"

How could you refuse that?

[nagarashi]

Damn this game! How many times can you hurt my heart?! D;

This cry of discontent means that I played Majima Saga yesterday and all I feel, well besides being devastated, is the desire to drown myself in a river of my own tears =_=

Admittedly, after Zero, the later parts (I settled on Kiwami 2 for now) started to feel a bit more... bland in terms of emotion compared to Zero. So Kiryu's drama doesn't really grab me, either with Yumi or Kaoru, even though I like Kiryu himself as a character, but the tragic image of Majima Goro and his love burned the brightest mark in my heart after which everything else seems rather simple...

 

There's so much Majima in Kiwami 1 that at some point an overdose could happen, everyone remembers that great "Majima everywhere" system, right?  After the events of Zero, I find his obsession with Kiryu very interesting, and oddly enough, his attempts to constantly punch him in the face are a gesture of friendship, as paradoxical as that may sound.

Goro says he wants to fight Kiryu to the fullest, but I have a couple of thoughts about what else that might be... We all remember Zero's denouement and Majima probably knows what kind of involvement Kiryu had in it. I think his desire to keep Kiryu in shape is due to his own gratitude for his help with Makoto and that Majima knows how important it is to be strong if you want to protect what you care about.

 

Everyone calls Majima a comic character, which is a little strange for me, because this comedy is based on tragedy. Maybe I'm overly depressed, but watching his "madness" after Zero makes me sad rather than funny... Or bitterly funny.

His Mad Dog persona, to me, is more of a defensive reaction to the external environment. For almost the entire game, Majima feels oppressed by the fact that his life is under someone else's control, it doesn't belong to him. Most frustrating for him is the fact that he is unable to make his own decisions, which is evident near the end of Zero, when he learns that even his decision to protect Makoto was calculated long ago from the start.

Even when Shimano makes Goro an extremely profitable offer, that is, Majima brings Makoto to him, she gives Shimano the right to own the land, and the girl will be out of danger as Makoto stops being hunted... And even more, Shimano will give the girl to Majima, but he refuses them in the most radical way by making his own choice. Besides, where's the guarantee that everything promised is true? Not to mention that such an act would leave an extremely unpleasant residue on Majima himself. If he did that to Makoto, how would he be different from those who would use him?

 

No one would risk putting a collar on a mad dog, no one would touch it, and no one would go near it...  The image of a chaotic and unstable guy is a good mask to scare off those who want to put this beast back on the chain.

However, the real Majima does sometimes show through the Mad Dog mask. One of those highlights for me was the scene in Kiwami 1, it's practically a moment, but that makes it more memorable... The scene in Shangri-La when Majima takes the girl hostage. Still trying to hide under the mask, he unwittingly shows the same Majima from the distant 1988, still wounded by his love... At least that's what I thought of when I saw him let go of that girl at her words that she already has a lover, she reminded him of his own love for Makoto. Not to mention that no matter how badass Majima thinks he is, he won't hurt, much less a woman or a child.

 I always thought he looked very sad at this moment...

 

Finally, the reason I'm writing this is Kiwami 2, or to be precise, Majima Saga.

When playing Kiwami 2, I was surprised that the game would touch an old wound on my heart again, as I realized at the time that we would no longer be given as close a look at Majima as we were in Zero. So it came as a surprise to me that at a certain moment the opportunity to play for him arose. And I was even more surprised when the events of Saga led to his chance encounter with Makoto.

I was really afraid that the developers might have done something to spoil the story, but...

 

The first minutes are served up in a fun tone - Majima holding back a scream of pain so Makoto won't hear it. It's as funny as it is sad when you think about this scene in a more... larger scale and apply it to Majima himself, who literally has to remain silent in order to hide his feelings from Makoto... and I'm not talking about the pain of the massage right now. That's why his song "Shiawase nara ii ya" to me comes across as more of a scream than a song, a desire to scream out what he wanted to say to Makoto... but couldn't.

 

Then he notices the watch on her hand and seems surprised that she still wears it. Makoto tells him about the important part Majima has played in her life, because thanks to him she was able to get the right to happiness. And he listens to her with an incredibly gentle and warm smile, filled with... relief. After all, this is exactly what he wished for, for his beloved to be happy, even if not by his side. I wonder if listening to Makoto, did he ever think about how they could have a family?

 

It seems to me that Majima really wants his own family. He's got the makings of a good father, and he gets rather sweetly lost when the kids turn to him, it knocks Goro out of his usual mask... For example, it's worth remembering one scene in Dead Souls where he's just giving tough orders and then just one thank you from a little girl makes his Mad Dog mask give a crack and then rushes to defense with some kind of recklessness.

I love how for a moment his gaze slips to the side... He even looks a little tired at this moment.

I'm not talking about the doll girl quest or Hibiki and Yuki's quests in the cabaret club storyline.

Also, in 1992, when he marries Mirei Park, Majima takes the news of Park's abortion rather harshly (even hitting her, and I think deservedly so), which underscores the fact that family is a rather painful topic for Majima. In addition, Park hid her pregnancy and subsequent abortion, perhaps because Majima wanted a child while Park was more interested in her career.

 

I love how many parallels there are in Majima's and Makoto's fates, and that Sotenbori has played an important role in each of their lives, the only difference being that for each of them it is seen differently.

For Makoto, it is the city where her misfortunes began, and for Majima, it is a cage, a prison... She meets Majima and tells him that Sotenbori's is a special place for her, a place she keeps fond memories of when she first met him. It's funny how just one man has made her forget all the pain that was concentrated in Sotenbori for her. This is where her brother left, where Makoto was tricked and sold into slavery, where she was hunted... And yet she keeps good memories of this place, of the short time she had with Majima. And by staying here, she hoped to meet him again, for years to come... And Majima, who for no reason would not want to return to Sotenbori. For him, this place, no longer a cage, but the memories of what was lost in this city are still alive. In fact, it demonstrates well how emotionally fragile Majima can be under the mask of Mad Dog.

 

I like how in the dialogue about the watch, Makoto tells that it's old and should probably be thrown away, but it's important to her, it's her treasure. It's always with her, even the old strap has long since worn out and she had to use a new one... But it's so bright and doesn't fit such an old thing at all. She loved the old design, elegant and perfect for this watch...

How funny that her words felt as if they had a double meaning.

The old thing in a bright, garish wrapper... It's so much like Majima himself that if you forget about the watch for a second, it feels like Makota is talking about him.

 

I also find it very cute the way Majima smiles when Makoto asks him to keep what she told him a secret. It's so in a special way true and gentle, the very presence of their own secret that no one else knows about....

 

The only pity is that everything ends sooner or later. So, the brief reunion came to an end...

It would seem that making the breakup scene on the same level as in Zero, when you could feel what was going on with Majima without any words, would be difficult... Well, Kiwami 2 did a great job with it, but in my opinion in a slightly different way that only emphasized Majima's feelings for Makoto even more clearly.

In the final Zero we could read his feelings through his eyes and the barely visible changes in his face, as he tried his best to hide his feelings from Makoto, but in Kiwami 2 we can see that in their last moments together his resilience began to falter...

 

If for the duration of the massage, Majima made every effort not to show his face and not to look at Makoto, which he was clearly eager to do... and their last moments together only attested to that.

He was in the middle of the session hiding his gaze, but at the end of it, just as he did at the end of Zero, he suddenly starts to hesitate...

 

When he takes the card, he has a moment to walk away, but he continues to stand there unable to turn away from Makoto.

 

Even when he answers Makoto's question, he still reaches out to her with his gaze... like he's waiting for something. From her? Or from himself?

 

And then the situation only gets worse... Majima is caught by his sadness, which he has felt for 18 years, cannot look away ... the most piercing gaze in its tenderness. You can see and even feel every second like a nail being hammered into him, nailing him to his beloved image, seemingly permanently, forever....

 

... And then it all comes to an abrupt halt.

 

Admittedly, that moment when he abruptly turns away is probably one of the hardest moments for me, after Zero's finale. It's in such contrast to the scene before, when Majima gently touches Makoto's smile with his gaze, that I even thought I could hear the sound... you know, like something ripped, like a sharp jerk, or like a tender melody was interrupted by a sharp blow to the keys. At that moment, though, that's what Majima most likely did, yanked himself away with all the strength he was capable of... 18 years of longing and uncertainty...

But Makoto is happy, just as Majima always wanted. Who would he be if he interfered in her life now?

 

Just a moment of weakness, showed well the extent of how much he longed for this girl, that even he barely had enough self-control, he literally breaks free from the grip of his feelings as if from the claws of a beast.

 

Once again, the story ends beautifully on the watch...

Majima once again grants Makoto's wish, which she dropped on nothing, without hope or expectation, she was just talking... But the sad dog grasps at this wish as the little thing he could say without words, "I love you, be happy."

 

P.S.

I freaking love this moment... That frantic look gives me goosebumps.

 

Always found it interesting that Makoto was supposed to be the one to free Majima (i.e. the contract to kill her in exchange for his return to the Tojo clan) ...and she did, but not the way everyone hoped.

She was the reason Mad Dog was finally able to break out of his cage... ...and the reason he was able to keep his soul.

[crispy-bonnie]

YESS I loved your rejection prompts! How about for the payday gang?? The concept of betrayal is prominent in the payday storyline (especially for Bain, who has apparently been betrayed all his life)

As for characters, I would say to write for your favorites :) ooo ooo CHAINS chains also he needs more love (more angst)

guess who's back bitches !! i'm gonna take writing a lot slower because i'm still having a bit of writer's block , but requests will be up and running again !! i also plan on making some catch-up posts for houston , bain , and chains ! gotta give them some love too :]

You reject them — THE PAYDAY GANG

Dallas

He thought you accepted the confession when he saw a rose and letter on his desk

But his heart dropped when he realized that it was the same rose he had given to you, but now it was wilted due to lack of care

Dallas eventually read the letter and oml he was doing his damndest not to sob

He put a lot of effort just attempting to stage the confession but his fears ended up being reality

After this? Isolation, as per usual.

He did a lot more stealth heists alone, wouldn’t talk to anyone. If someone tried to have a conversation with him, he would do his best to walk away or he’d be really dismissive

Bombards himself with work. Like…A LOT. In an attempt to distract himself

He ends up forgetting his basic needs and he has to be dragged out by Wick and Dragan

Dallas even considers leaving the Payday gang. He couldn’t seem to find a reason to stay anymore

TDLR: Isolation and depression

Wolf

Literally holding back tears when you said you weren't interested

"Yeah no I understand I'm gonna go back to my workspace now okaybye"

Wick was confused when he saw Wolf stumble into the room and nearly slam his face against his desk whilst sobbing

After a nice little crying-fest, he'll immediately start to distract himself by tending to his tech

He'll also drag Hoxton with him to Jimmy's bar to start sobbing his eyes out again while having a shit ton of beer [when you're not at the safe house of course]

Wolf got so fucking drunk that he nearly set the fuckin safe house on fire

Hoxton has to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't do it again

Overall an unstable mess. Not violent, but definitely bad

Hoxton

What

No seriously

What the fuck

Hoxton's expression immediately drops once he heard you deny his confession

After that he just kinda left you and the entire picnic there

Unlike Wolf and Dallas, he ends up being aggressive about it

He goes on a lot more heists to take his aggression out elsewhere, but will sometimes slip and end up taking it out on you or someone else

Once he's done with the heists, his immediate impulse is to head to the nearest store and buy a shit ton of beer

So when he heads back to the safe house, the escape van is just packed with beer instead of cash [which annoys the heisters quite a lot]

Has gotten drunk and very violent during this time period

Eventually calms back down and slows down on the alcohol consumption, but is still generally upset over the whole rejection thing

He had put in so much effort only for you to answer with a no

He'll never not be mad about that

Sokol

After Sokol explained his feelings, he was literally fucking MORTIFIED when you said you didn't feel the same

Starts apologizing profusely, and once he's done with that, he does his best not to interact with you after that

The rest of the game is awkward, the drive home is awkward, and everything after that is pretty awkward

Even if you do actually manage to warm back up to him again, he's still embarassed about it

If any of the heisters know about it and try to bring it up in any way, it'll result in a very angry Sokol having to be dragged away from a bloodied and beaten heister

However, if you're the one to bring it up, he'll just be sitting there trying not to have a damn heart attack

Sokol might even be teary as well. He feels so awful for doing that, and he wishes he hadn't even invited you to that game

Clover

So when Clover wakes up and is going through that hangover, she pales and fucking panics when you mention what she did last night

She tries to apologize but you just dismiss it since you knew that she was drunk

But since you didn't say that you reciprocated those feelings, it still had her worried

After that initial period of worry, she ends up being depressed as all fuck

Like Wolf, she'll hang around Jimmy's bar and get drunk about it, more so than usual

She'll be sitting there sobbing while Bobblehead Bob has to sit there and be a therapist for the duration that she's there

Clover can't even be in charge of security anymore because of how drunk she gets

She doesn't change much even after the fact

Just gets drunk at any moment she possibly can

Jacket

Rather than staying on the rink with him for the duration of the couples' skating, you instead actually pull away from him and leave the rink

Sydney had a fuckin mortified look on her face while she stared at the scene for a moment before focusing on the pizza she was munching

Jacket kinda just stood there, disappointed as you left, now staring down at the tape recorder with the special tape he had in specifically to confess to you

He took that tape out and dropped it onto the ground before crushing it with one of his rollerskates

Jacket then left the rink to go and join you and Sydney in having some pizza while the couples skated around, leaving the crushed tape there

After the whole fiasco happened, he didn't seem to change

He wasn't as aggressive during heists, he wasn't reclusive to anyone, he just remained as normal as ever

Okay well

Maybe not

Y'know how he has special lines for certain heisters? I like to think he has special mixtapes that he uses whenever they come around

Yeah well

Your's was crushed and burned. He never responds to anything you say either

He acknowledges that you say it, but never responds. Not even with a gesture.

[the-messenger-hawk]

I like, rarely see your stuff on my dash for some reason. What are some AUs you have for certain fandoms? Be as specific and detailed as humanly possible.

Oh my god. This is...a lot...

I'm gonna, try to get down as much as I can that I still think about....

ATLA AUs:

Dragon and the Phoenix: Mirrorverse–Ozai & Iroh. The eldest child of Fire Lord Azulon is the one who fails to escape his influence, and the youngest found himself overseas.

Drought: Avatar Zuko. Galvanized by having an Avatar of their own, the Fire Nation launches a full invasion on the South, in which Sokka and Katara are the only survivors. 

One Less Betrayal: It’s essentially a villain siblings AU (because there’s not nearly enough of those tbh) wherein the defining change is that Zuko’s final betrayal of the series (his betrayal of the Fire Nation in Book 3) doesn’t happen. However, the effect his newfound loyalty has on his mental health is damning; while he forms a strong bond with Azula, Zuko’s relationships with others (particularly Mai and Ty Lee) suffers greatly. He regresses dangerously, becoming more aggressive and unstable (Azula never has a breakdown in this AU, because she has her brother with her, but he kinda does, albeit not in the same way). Eventually the siblings both become convinced that their father intends to steal all the glory behind the war and leave them with nothing. Working together, the two of them are able to overthrow him, and plan to rule the world together as two crowns, Zuko succeeding Ozai as Fire Lord and Azula becoming the Earth Kingdom’s first Serpent Queen. The two of them are now the resistance’s worst enemy.

Icarus: Modern AU. (posted here~) Jetka. Past-Zukka. Zuko-centric. Zuko finally moves back home to pick up the pieces of his past life, only to realize that some things can’t be fixed. 

Ice King: (posted here!) Sokka is alone after losing his mother, the disappearance of his sister, the departure of his father, and the distance of his grandmother. Soon after Hakoda leaves, the boy crashes his kayak into a iceberg, and uncovers the Avatar, but he has little hope that this will change anything for him or anyone. miserable, depressing.

Innocence: Ozai-centric. Aang’s gift from the Lionturtle doesn’t take Ozai’s bending. Instead, it de-ages him to a small child and wipes his memory. a lot of focus on the fire fam’s past and Iroh

Into the Maw: The Fire Nation conquered the world during the siege on Ba Sing Se. To put the rebellious SWT in its place, the Chieftain’s daughter is arranged to the Fire Nation. Furious and protective, Sokka disguises himself and is sent to the Fire Nation in her place. includes: attempted assassination, cross-dressing. 

The Fire Nation’s Catastrophic Failure: At the end of Sozin’s Comet, Ozai gets turned into a harmless, talking housecat, funny ensues. bonus: Ursa is a bona fide cat lady.

Tuurngaq: Imagine the time period right after Kya is murdered, and the entire family is just completely broken down and grieving because of her loss. But kid Sokka, unable to help his drifting father in any way, or do anything to make his sister’s tears and upset stop, feels some kind of twisted, guilty responsibility to fix everything. So he sneaks into the wilderness and encounters a powerful spirit, which he begs to bring their mother back. And it says it will, with the condition that he offers his own life to the spirit in exchange. Sokka agrees.

Wei: Nonbender Ozai AU. gray morals. Azulon tosses out his second son, and Ozai is declared dead. Ozai becomes an underground prize-fighter to earn money, going by the name of Wei. His desire to be the strongest fighter is only matched by his hatred of the royal family. probably urzai. 

Well He’s no Robinhood: jetka AU. Jet kidnaps the son of the Southern Chief to earn money, and is drawn to how brilliant and challenging he is. 

=========================

KH AUs:

I have a tag for the Guiding Wind AU

A Kinder Shade of Black: Sora and Vanitas are marooned on an unknown world together. Separated from their allies and stuck, they really have no option but to work together in a hostile land. During the interim, Vanitas finds himself tentatively amused that the Lights’ precious golden boy isn’t quite the utterly pure-of-heart champion that others have raised him up to be. A little bit of Darkness goes a long way, especially when everything’s out to get you; it also makes for some rather entertaining company. But he isn’t really expecting for Sora’s influence to distract him in the way that it does, or for the two of them to bridge a gap that was never meant to be crossed. trope: enemy mine/vanso

=========================

Tower of God AUs:

Gladiator AU: I've wrote a bit about this one already, but it's still the best.

Error Code 422: canon divergent au where Wangnan and Miseng stick together and are active in the Hidden Floor arc (and hunted by their glitched out Sworn Enemies). Many secrets are exposed to the main characters/Wangnan outs himself early.

Yet so Far: the one where Wangnan is pining over Bam throughout S2. Nothing unrequited here, he's just dumb and can't spit it out. literally everyone is aware this is going on but Bam.

Rogue Princesses: AU where Team Sweet & Sour are identified as allies of Jue Viole Grace and attacked, leaving most of the team in critical condition. Out of desperation, Wangnan uses the Sword to perform a blood transfusion to save them...with dramatic side effects. -In other words, all of his female teammates basically become bootleg Princesses. (Assumes he reunited with Ehwa, as I'm not leaving her out of this :> )

Sun on the Horizon: Fantasy/kingdom AU. On a diplomatic visit to the capital, Khun is hired to track down the King's missing son. It's not as serious a situation as it seems. Khun has a secret agenda to track down a lost friend, but there's something inspiring about this prince that didn't meet any of his expectations. this is a khunwang au.

Regret: a time-travel au where a very depressed Wangnan gets a chance to go back and undo a moment in time to save his friends. Bam finds out he's about to make a terrible mistake and rushes to stop him, but ends up trapped in the body of his past self, unable to act until history is altered.

slayer prince au: the one where Karaka finds Wangnan on the 20th a decade or so previously, and more or less inducts him as a secret candidate. When Bam arrives on the 20th floor, Jinsung hires Wangnan to keep an eye on his student, and make him a new team. As usual, he goes a little off-script.

[myseasonz]

haven't be in touch with this app for 2 years now, wow.

scrolling down to all the post i had write, i could say, i've been through a lot, haven't i?

sooooo many things happened in the past 2 years, and so much going on that it change many things as well as how my perspective changes every five second, haha.

looking back, i think i know why i'm so depressed, well, i was going through a sudden change of rotation in my lifeㅡmy comfort zoneㅡ that i was never once imagine. it is not easy to adapt in new environment (at least for me).

huftㅡ i'm (still) glad i survived all the big waves.

3 years in college wasn't easy. it's a whole storm, and thunder. (though sometimes it shows up like flowers, it still keep the unfriendly image that let out poison or thorn to hurt physically or verbally). and guess what? i still have to stay in that hell for another 1 year!

anyway, days-months-years that has passed in college have thought me million (or even billion) things like; being part of the society is indeed disgusting. human is a creature where sometimes easy to predict and sometimes is hard to guess, but at the same time they will always have something to make me feel either amaze by them or disgusted by them.

and, going to college actually made me realize there's a lot of opportunity to make (normal) dreams come true! my uni also is the reason i became a traveller. well, i guess, it's hate and love relationship. i hate being in there, but also thank full of all the times i spend there. seriously, if i think about it, well, not a single time i spent there is wasted. i just hate the people (not my close friends tho, they're the reason i'm amaze by human)

oh, and, this gonna be a long post!

since 3 years has passed in college, i think i should also let you know, that you're amazing! truly. and everything's gonna be just alright. you're gonna be just fine! it's gonna be okay in the end too. think about it, okay? just how many nights have you spent over-thinking and worrying about the future, about things might going the wrong way, about you were not good enough?

well, you are more than good enough. and some things were already went the wrong way but so what? it turns out just fine isn't it? it doesn't even bother you a bit, is it?

the future is indeed a mystery, it makes us worry too much. but you know, worrying and anxiety it just a normal feeling human felt when they unstable. everything will be alright. just keep on trying, keep on going and don't forget to breath. (and, cry when you wanted to, dont hold back ur tears.)

so many things happened, things change, some people come and others left. but we've became better, aren't we? we're changing, to be better (i believe)

anyway, time flies so fast?!

cz, i'm turning 22 just in one month! damn!

happy birthday. stay healthy, stay sane. and be good! hope to hear good news from the future (22) me, hehe. be loveable! muach :*

from (21) me to (past and future) me ㅋㅋ

K. 240802 <3

[lonespektr]

Depression and an embarrassment of riches has me in paralysis analysis

Too many choices so 'm going with my sometimes effective ten minute rule

Pull literally every thing off the list and watch the first ten minutes, then circle back to what grabbed you the most

First up

We're all going to the world's fair

(giving it fifteen because i know it's going to be slow)

Okay Internet challenge & urban decay, isolation/internet connectivity

NEXT

Good Omens 2x1

Eh, think the 6,000 years should have been an offhanded line and the galaxy backdrop bit feels like a punt if don't say there's anything else but humans

But the "trouble for asking questions" is always a banger

NEXT

Superman (my adventures animated things)

Damn he already flying I'm annoyed that's usually last and hardest, like way way after he figures everything else out. I like the balance of mostly instant powers and having the one thing that is hard.

Effin love scrawny quaid and i think he's a good choice.

VA & art style on pat with DC as in very good

And that's not surprising because animation remains DC's domain

Spot on with the cat- you could say it's to easy and obvious but the internal commentary he said I HAD to save the cat

These small children are hilarious and now i miss gotham academy 🥹

It's 20min which is still less time than it was taking to load WAGTtWF

Oh Clark is a nervous wreck at times but he doesn't traffic in self flagellation, this is a character departure, this is how i would write Clark and i would be wrong.

Years of practice but no suit

They are doing right by lo, already saving the day

Ummm

Why does he have a symbol embeded???

That's weird

NEXT

More baby quaid

The boys 4x1

Did Laz lose a bunch of weight ? & Frenchie too?

Power dynamic shift

Increasingly on the nose but that has to happen because he's not very smart

The plot "armor" maybe plot "luck" is a better yerm with hip popping up randomly is deeply irritating, i think they kinda stuff is lazy , it's not about having a flawless plot free of holes as it is not making plot choices that are really annoying

Her being bulletproof is good because homelander is too unstable to not try her

The extent that he's a lab rat i just realized he doesn't really have his own place he lives in the HQ

What's her face has such as interesting characterization

Interesting they pride themselves on being over the top and couldn't even do a gay

The aerosolized route may be it

Nice sean Patrick Thomas

Love the commercials

I thought they didn't know but he just talked so 🤷🏾‍♀️

We're all very special people

Lol that was so lazy

She's the smartest woman on earth?

They are doing their very best still reconning this rapist

I miss Simon Pegg doing shit what has he been doing since the undeclared war

Wow a lot but none of it looks interesting

Oh my character development

NEXT

Wicked Cty

[troubledbiker]

Decisive bullshit

If you think that this is about you then may it hit your knee.

When you're kicked out of an rpg, your first thought should be how can I fix what I did, not throw your bullshit onto the owners who were nice and was willing to let you in, but instead you want to go and run your damn mouth saying how vile they are and how they talk trash about their members when YOU are doing the same fucking thing. You said their members were not the best. I maybe an asshole, but I'm a funny haha asshole when it comes to things, I've seen shit that haunted me for life. Imagine that staying with you for the rest of your life.

First example of this is when a BULLDOZER buries your loved ones who departed from life.

second, is when you have a Balloon and as soon as you pulled hard enough, your mother gets a phone call saying a friend of the family passed away and you think it was your fault.

third, the person you consider a best friend is on her fucking death bed and you had to watch her dying as family came in to see her.

four your parents get a divorce and you had to choose between your mom and dad. Mom was a drunk mess on your final half of SENIOR YEAR, you live in a house that is about to go into foreclosure and you feel like your somewhere unstable to the point where the last thing on your mind is wanting to go to school, then when you do this, you fuck with your medicine and then your in and out of hospitals because of DEPRESSION.

So, forgive me if I have the dignity of a nice person who is always too nice, giving people chances but realize you, yourself is unhappy when someone tries to steal someone from you and act like she can run and hide her hands. Or your someone who is a massive asshole who values his imaginary cars, or your someone who uses your mental health as a way to make excuses. YES I had those days but I'm not about to use it as an excuse to get out of posting a FUCKING DRABBLE about what my secret was. Like grow up.

Most of us are parents, uncles, aunts, or trying to get on with life when you realize where you are is where you don't want to be. In front of a computer JOBLESS, depressed, hovered over and constantly hearing "Our neighborhood isn't what it used to be." Like geez sorry you got kicked out of a group who is trying to make a positive space.

This isn't High School, or MEAN GIRLS! Besides most of you saying certain groups are Toxic and Vile are the ones that got tired of your shit. Pretty much, the only ones toxic are three morons who are tired, repeating the same phrases and acting like victims. OH, but sorry I'm a victim when a bitch wants to lay down and snort coke on an imaginary person's couch and not introduce herself to other people.... but sure we're not the best members. I think what the group did was get rid of rotten apples and two of you had chances to come back, but obviously you ran to the first person for comfort... congrats your idiots.

-Sincerely yours

HADES!

[athyathye]

Hello can i request an angsty Mikey x Reader fic? He broke up with her after the disbandment of Toman and after years of depression and closing off her heart, she learned to love someone again and is now getting married to our pretty boy Inupi. imagine the future Mikey wants but wont ever happen.

What it meant to be you

Author’s note 📝: I will write this in Mikey’s perspective...and also add a little fun twist, hope you don’t mind anon~

Tags : Heartbreak! 2k+ words, hurt w/ no comfort, possessive behavior and more

Warnings ⚠️: $uiside attemps, curse words, psychological torture for Mikey, Angst!

“Can you leave? You’re bothering me.”

“Just stop bothering and go!”

“I don’t need it! God, why are you so stubborn…”

I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.

“M-mikey...what do you mean...this is a joke right? I- i”

Your voice haunted me every single day, interrupted my dreams every single night…

“Mikey please!”

Please… I desperately wanted you as well. I wanted to shout, yell or even just tell you how much you mean to me. But I love you too much to put you through that.

“I f*cking hate you. You’re such a goddamn nuisance.”

The day Toman ended, the night where I saw everything happen right before my eyes. The meeting after, not even lasting a whole 5 minutes.

Trust me when I say it hurt far more for me when I told you those words. It hurt me to see your face etched in pain like that. To see you so broken just because of a no-good man like me…

So, how have you been? I don’t know about you, but it still feels like I'm stuck in time...Do you get what I mean? Of course not, Who am I kidding? Someone like you knows how to get through something like this.

Someone like you who leashed a wild dog like me is strong enough to get past the thorn in the bush that I am.

...But I can’t lie...I want you to only want me, I want to see you hurting like me...It’s selfish...No, it’s the worst possible thought I could have, I don’t even deserve to have such beautiful memories with you…

But, the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I had spent time with a beauty like you. The slight hope that you’ll be looking forward to meeting me again like I had with you. That we could still have the future you had once told me.

“Mikey….”

*crush*

Huh? Oh.

You’re getting married? ...How fun…

Tears slid down continuously down the male’s face. Though he didn’t notice. Sanzu glanced at his leader in worry. Wondering just what he should do. He was about to approach him when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine. Stay here. Don’t follow me.” I tried to speak as nonchalantly as I can, though even I wouldn’t believe myself right now.

I left the room without another word.

“Leave him be, Sanzu!” Koko exclaimed.

“Do you realize just how unstable he is right now? For all we know he might go on a killing spree...that’ll be hell for us to handle” Rindou complained, though when he looked at his older brother he shut up.

“Just let the adult do his thing. Look for him tomorrow, let him have a night to himself.” Ran spoke to the rest, hands in his pocket as he turned to leave.

‘I must be going crazy.’ I looked at nothing in particular but the vast infinite space before my eyes.

'I- I’m happy- damn it. I’m not happy at all.' I don’t want you to get married, I don’t want you to leave me. I want to go back to the time where we were happy, when we were stupid and young kids who were ruining their futures.

“...How could you live so happily without me?..How dare you...pfft- agh...how dare I try to corrupt the memories you left me…”  The young lad cried and laughed  at the same time. If anyone else had the pleasure of seeing this broken Mikey, they wouldn’t even believe it.

I stood up, savoring the rushing wind that was threatening to make me lose my balance. Jokes on the world though, that was my whole plan.

I jumped.

‘...Did it work? Did I do it right?’

What the…

I saw myself back at least 10 years ago...I remembered this day. This was the day I ruined my life without a single thought.

“I f*cking hate you. You’re such a goddamn nuisance.”

Did I always have such a cruel tone? Is that even me? Why did I look so cold…

‘You can’t be serious, Mikey…’ I heard someone say. I looked behind me in alarm. Only to be met with the dark opaque space that was similar to the night sky.

‘That was y/n right? That was her!’ “Y/n!!!”

‘I love you….I love you….I love you so much’ I heard her voice begging. What the hell? I don’t remember her saying that?

I’m pretty sure If I heard her say that, it would have changed everything. I would’ve come running back to you that second or the day after.

‘You selfish manipulative little- I hate you so much…’ I heard her utter.

I see…

This is hell, I'm paying for my sins aren’t I?

By watching what you had to go through...this was the price.

It’s not like I didn’t see this coming. I smiled to myself, If hell meant I could keep seeing you, then this would be heaven itself.

‘...We planned our future together didn’t we? You told me you’d marry me, have 10 kids where you’d name each one Mikey jr.’

‘Nevermind. This is hell.’

It hurt. Having to see you cry for me so pathetically, having to sleep on the floor from exhaustion….

It hurt seeing you cry for me every single day for a whole month...It hurt me to see you this devastated over me, an *ssh*le who didn’t even treat you right.

It hurt so f*cking bad seeing you end up in a ditch similar to myself.

‘You’re getting thinner and thinner by the day…’ I watched you inspect yourself in the mirror. Grabbing a familiar hoodie in your closet before you sniffled into it. Sobbing directly into it.

‘That was my hoodie right? The one I wrapped around you on the first date? F*ck’ I hid myself into the nearest corner I could find. Not much can be found in this dark room. I had nowhere to go, everyday I could feel myself losing just about what was left of my sanity, if there even was something left.

“You have to go to school at least one of these days, sweetie” Your mother, who was outside of your room knocked.

‘She’s right...you have to get an education if you want to be successful like you always wanted...What a hypocrite, Mikey.’

‘Mikey...manjiro, how long has it been? It’s been a year hasn’t it? I worry about you so much.’

‘How flattering...has it been a year? You do look a little taller… That means you’ve thought about me every single day then didn’t you? I’m glad.’

‘I heard from Draken you made another gang...I hope you won’t be in so much danger...Who am I kidding you love getting into fights anyways.

‘Draken always had a loose mouth at times...I only loved fighting because you were there to patch me up’

‘Did you forget about me? I’ve been waiting for you, you know? If I see you cheating on me with other girls, even the new gang you’ve been leading wouldn’t be able to stop me’

‘I’d never do that to you...’

‘Mikey, Mitsuya just bought an apartment from pah-chin...He’s on his way to live his dream? Are you happy where you are? I hope you are…..I still can’t get over you.

“Mitsuya was always the best in fixing stuff for us… He stood silent, not wanting to reply to the next stream of words that you thought.

“Manjirou! Just come back please…”

‘Shut up...this was for the best..’

“I miss you so much...you d*ckhead! You promised me!”

‘Shut up, shut up, shut up, just stop.’ He covered his ears with his hands that were shaking tremendously.

“You promised me we’d live and grow old together! Just come back please!”

“STOP JUST STOP IT! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” Mikey screamed into oblivion, his screams and screeches for help so raw and painful that there was no doubt he had damaged his vocal box in one minute.

“...Inui?” He asked himself, seeing the blonde male comfort you in a way that he knew nobody else could.

‘No...no, no, no.’ He repeated, having no more energy left.

He watched as your relationship with Inui progressed every single day. He wondered if he could have done the things Inui did, he wondered if he could look at you so lovingly every time. He wondered if he could be the man you had desperately wanted him to be.

Laying down in the dark, he watched the future you could have with Inui...your children...your grandchildren..until you both died happily in each other’s arms.

He watched it all…

He had no more energy left to even mumble a few words. But tears had miraculously managed to escape his eyes one last time. He closed his eyes, awaiting for what was next.

“....Huh?” It- it’s white?” The room was white? What kind of psychological torture- Sanzu?

“Oi...OI OI! MIKEY OPENED HIS EYES CALL A DOCTOR!!” He heard someone shout, he weakly opened his eyes, taking a look around before he was faced with Sanzu’s obnoxious gaze. But this time, he was more than happy to see him again.

“Mikey, Mikey are you ok?”

‘I’m better than ok...wait- I’m not dead?’

The room he was currently in was in total chaos.

“Mikey, what the hell happened to you last night? Somebody found you in alleyway...Ran was investigating but there was no f*cking clue?”

‘Last night? What? It’s only been a day? T-then It was still the day before your wedding…’

“....Sanzu…”

“Yeah?”

“Get me out of here.”

The real Takemitchy clapped along with the audience, grinning widely along with the other members as they hollered at the way Inupi held your waist while you danced.

He was so happy for the both of you, that was until he saw a cloaked figure near the entrance. It turned away before he could have a closer look.

Of course, the only person who’d try to have a look was obvious. He couldn’t even make an excuse for himself, let alone say something as he rushed out of the building.

I ruined everything again…

It wasn’t a surprise, after all, I lost the most important thing in my life. The reason why I kept going.

I never really had anything to live for after you, knowing that you've achieved the happiness I couldn't give put me at ease.

But it hurt so damn much to see you not needing me anymore. It hurt so much I have to verbally clutch my chest....it hurt so much that my heart felt like it kept breaking.

If this was what I had to leave with without you...then so be it.

“I will end everything here. EVERYONE!!! LET’S DO THIS!”

He jumped once more. He closed his eyes.

‘Let me relive in your memories again...that would make sure you'll never forget me...I'll live on in your memories right?

Even if it means watching you live the life you wanted with Inupi instead of me. I’d rather deal with that than to not ever see you again…’

“I WILL NOT! LET YOU DIE!” A hand grabbed him from the window.

“Takemitchy....Please, put me in peace.”

“SHUT UP!!! JUST SAY ‘PLEASE HELP ME’ DAMN IT!! ...and I’ll definitely come save you...Manjiro”

"It doesn't matter anymore! Just let me die! I don't have a reason anymore! I don't have a purpose..."

"Agh just stop your pathetic groveling Sano!"

Mikey stopped trying to scratch Takemitchy's hand away. He then looked at the said male with begging and pleading eyes, a whole different look from his usual empty ones.

“Then Takemitchy...can you really change the future?

G-give me y/n back. Please...give her back to me...it- it hurts...so damn bad..."

Potential spoilers for Mikey's end in Twisted? Ha ha ha.....I'm kidding I'm not that cruel. 👀 nah legit I'm just trynna promote that fic here KSKKSSKKSKJSJS

[the-knight-of-the-stars]

Percy Jackson:  The Battle of the Labyrinth first reading thoughts:

-I did not thought Rachel would come back, and even less so that she would play an important part. But I really liked her, she was pretty cool. (Not her throwing a hairbrush at kronos, how iconic)

-At the begining, Percy insisting it wasnt a date and then Annabeth being all upset about the interruption. My dear girl, she did thought it was like a date, didn't she?

-I liked that this was Annabeth's mission, we bearly saw her in the last book and here she got to shine a lot more.

-Ok, the setting of this one was amazing. I love the concept of a labyrinth and underground places so this was right up my alley and I think it was very well used.

-The fact that the labyrinth was so unstable and changing added a very interesting twist to it, I really enjoyed every time they were inside of it.

-I love that we finally see this four on a mission together, I loved it.

-And Tyson my dear! He was amazing on this one!-We see a lot more new monsters on this one and it really adds to the urgence of Kronos putting together his army.

-I really like that Percy actually questions himself why he is supporting the gods, I like that he realizes that things are not as binary as they seem. And Annabeth being so close to Luke and still caring about him adds even more layers to the matter.

-Nico's storyline was very interesting too, I like how it was handled, his unresolved issues wih her sister's death and how isolated he feels. I'm glad he realized at the end that he is not really alone.

-We actually got some focus on minor gods too! (Or at least mentions of them).

-Ok, it has nothing to do with anything but it got me thinking... Is Eros ever mentioned? He is a pretty significant figure among the non-Olympians and even a primordial god in earlier versions... No? We saw Aphrodite, so...

-Was not expecting to see Hera, but it was pretty cool.

-But I liked even more to see Hephestus, I loved how in very few pages you understand his struggle with connection and the kind of relationship he has with the other gods. (Also he gave me a lot of steampunk vibes and that is perfect for him)

-Hephestus saying is a shame Athena never married... Weird (didn't they had an accidental son when she rejected him in some myth?)

-I really love how Percy's dreams are used as narrative tools in the story. The slow reveilings of Minos, Daedalus and other small elements was very well placed and made me enjoy the story a lot more.

-Annabeth being jelous and Percy being totally oblivious was driving me insane, but it was kinda cute too.

-AHHHHH AND SHE KISSED HIM THEY ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T. Why didn't they talked about it after ajaksjsj wow, to be a 14 year old idiot again.

-Def was not expecting to see Calypso either, it was more depressing than I thought it would.

-It was definitely not acknowledged enough that they all though Percy was DEATH for several days. (And Hephestus let them belive it???)

-Damn, to see Luke get used like that felt very messed up. Kronos is back and it really feels everything is going down.

-Pan's death was sad and beautiful.

-The battle in the camp was really well narrated, I was at the edge of my seat the whole time. There was finally casualties and it just feels the weight of everything is coming at them. You can tell we are reaching the end of the line.

-OH MY GODS PERCY TALK TO ANNABETH

-Ahhh, I'm so happy Sally found someone who loves her.

-This kids are growing so fast I AM NOT OK

-I liked the ending, full of hope, but bitter sweet. At least I hope they all can have some happy times before everything goes downhill.

-Well I loved the book, may be my favorite one so far.

-I already started The Last Olympian and I can't wait to see where it goes.

-I'm aware now that there is waaay more books from this world and for the looks of it, I do intend to read them all. I'm so hooked, I don't think I can stop now.

[kiraakirana]

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩'𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚 | h. kakashi

─────────────────────♡──────────────────────

Tonight, a firework display will be held to celebrate Lady Tsunade's inauguration as the 5th Hokage. After going through vulnerable and unstable days after Orochimaru's attack and the 3rd Hokage's death, the villagers of Konoha finally come together to witness a new beginning under a new leader. A new light finally emerged from the brim of sadness, once again giving everyone hope towards a bright future for Konoha.

It was the talk of the village for the past few days, everybody was deciding what kimono to wear and who to invite. As you would be working late that night, you agreed to meet up with your friends at the firework display after you're done with everything.

You could hear the distant laughter and cheeriness while you were walking towards the venue. You smiled to yourself, happy that the depressing days after the attack is over and that the villagers are back on their feet. You had a purple kimono on with your hair down and a white flower clipping as an accessory. You were quite in a rush, so you didn't really put that much thought into it.

After talking with your friends for a while, you felt uncomfortable being a 5th wheel as it turned out that they each brought partners. Excusing yourself, you searched through the crowd for a certain shinobi with a distinct white hair. You weren't sure if he attended or not as he's not that much of a people person. But you were relieved when you saw him near one of the food stands with none other than Guy-sensei.

"Hi," you said as you gently tapped his shoulder. He was wearing a blue kimono with his mask, as always, still on.

"Hey," he replied as he put down his Icha-Icha tactics. "Eh? didn't see you earlier."

"Yeah, I just arrived a few minutes ago, had to work late for an impor- shit," you said abruptly. Panicking, you hastily went behind Kakashi's back to hide yourself when you saw the two guys who asked you out yesterday.

"What happened?"

"I'll explain to you later, help me hide please," you said quietly. Seeing how pathetic your hiding strategy is, Kakashi pushed you softly into an empty alley nearby and positioned himself dangerously close to you. He put his right hand on the wall next to you as an attempt to hide your face from whoever you were trying to hide from. Although it was considerably effective, it wasn't good for your heart, afraid Kakashi could hear its loud beating. Leaning close he said, "This way people wouldn't even try to approach."

You could only nod, looking down to gather your thoughts as you felt your cheeks heating up. Damn this copy ninja! Does he realize the things he could do to you? You have the hots for him and has been desperately trying to keep it oblivious, but right now, you weren't sure if you could keep your feelings in check from how close you two were.

"Well, if this isn't convenient," you muttered under your breath. Not wanting to waste this chance by looking away, you looked up to see Kakashi giving you a smile. "Well, if you don't tell me who you're hiding from, we would stay like this until tomorrow morning," he added, "Not that I have any problems with that."

Embarrassed, you pushed Kakashi and stomped away, "They're gone already." You then looked back at him who looked nonchalant about the entire thing, much like his usual self, walking behind you. To you, it seemed like he was acting indifferent, but you failed to notice that Kakashi was a nervous wreck. Even when his fingertips would brush your skin subtly, it would send shivers down his body. He was giving it his all to hold himself back and not get caught up in the moment.

How could he not? You were a famous kunoichi known for your intelligence and beauty. Despite being younger than him by a few years, he admired your maturity and tendency to remain cool-headed at all times. It's not rare that he overhears his comrades complimenting you. You were a truly skilled and hardworking shinobi who earned everybody's respect.

"Thanks," you said quickly.

"Couldn't hear you," he teased.

"I hate you," you replied while turning away. Kakashi was your senior in ANBU and because of your great chemistry and teamwork, you two were often sent together on missions, therefore explaining your close relationship. He was always there to give you advice and comfort you whenever you felt homesick during long missions.

It wasn't until Kakashi was discharged from ANBU that you felt his great impact on your life. You were in denial for quite some time, until you came to the conclusion that the reason you were constantly worrying and missing him was not because you were simply his friend, no. It was a feeling much stronger than that.

"Is this the thank you I get for saving you?"

You swiftly grabbed his hand and took him to the rooftop across the one where Guy and his team were sitting. This was the best place to see the fireworks and it also meant less chance to encounter the two guys you saw before.

"I saw the two guys that asked me out, they also asked me to go to the firework display with them."

"And you rejected them?"

"Yeah, I said I couldn't go tonight," she shrugged, "I mean, I'd rather go with someone else."

"Then why aren't you with this guy right now?"

That question caught you off guard. "Well, he's definitely here right now," you said awkwardly, "But I wasn't brave enough to ask him to go with me. Besides, I wasn't sure if watching firework is his thing," you said, letting out a laugh. Knowing him, you were sure he'd rather stay at home to read his books. You made a mental note to thank Guy for dragging him here.

"Oh."

"You're not going to press me further about who that person is?"

"No," he shrugged.

"You’re no fun," you said jokingly, although it was an attempt to persuade him to ask you more questions. 

He laughed and said, "Okay then, who's the lucky guy?"

"Well there's no fun in it if you directly ask me who he is, you have to guess."

"Then, what's this person like?"

"Um, let me think," you said as you carefully thought about him, "He may seem very nonchalant at first, but deep down he's someone who cares a lot for his comrades."

"Hm, that wouldn't narrow the options by a lot. How does he look like?"

"He has a distinct hair, tall..."

"Why do you like him?"

"I feel safest around him. He's a truly wonderful person, I wish I had the guts to tell him that. I feel like he doubts himself a lot. He needs to know that a lot of people are grateful for him, including me. I've never liked anyone else the same way I like him."

"As your senior, I say you should just straight-up tell him about how you feel,” he gave you a smile and a thumbs-up to encourage you. 

“Ah, so she has a special someone. I mean, it’s no surprise right? Someone like her couldn’t possibly be single forever. I guess I was too late, huh?” thought Kakashi. 

"Well, I don't know if he feels the same way..." you said, shifting awkwardly in your seat. 

"But there's no telling unless you tell him right?"

"Yeah, I guess...”

To hell with pride.

"I like you, Kakashi."

"Wait, I mean you should tell him that, not me."

"Huh? This whole time I was talking about you, damn it."

"Uh? So you?" he looked at you, surprised. You didn't know what made him so surprised though, wasn't that obvious hints? Who else has distinct hair in Konoha? Okay, aside from Guy and a few other people... Yeah, maybe you should've just said 'white hair' but it would be like giving it away.

"Yeah, whatever you're trying to say. If you're going to reject me, at least wait until the firework's over so you don't ruin it."

It was silent for a while and all you wanted to do was throw yourself to the river. Just kidding. You should've stayed home. But then again, there's no better time than right now. It’s either now or never. You had to get the weight off your chest and you’ve prepared for the worst possible outcome for years. "You know what, I'm sorry. I know it's ridiculous for me to like you when you have so many other-"

"I like you too, Y/N."

"Girls fawning over-" you froze for a moment and looked at him in disbelief, "Wait, did you just?"

"Come," he said as he stood up and gave her his hand, "I know a place where you can see the fireworks much better." It was one of your favorite Kakashi smiles, the one where you couldn't see his eyes. Despite not being able to see the rest of his face, this was enough to put the butterflies in her stomach.

It was a place near the river, far from the busy crowd. The water moves calmly and the fireworks could be seen clearly. "You know, I was serious when I said those things. I really see you as a wonderful person."

"Yeah, I know. I'm a very lucky guy."

"But don't get too full of yourself," you said jokingly, landing a weak punch on his arm.

You looked at Kakashi, who was laughing wholeheartedly, in awe. This was truly a sight to remember. Feeling entirely grateful, you gave him a shy hug, hiding your face on his kimono. Y/N who was usually a confident, collected person, became a mess whenever he's around. Only he’s able to do that. 

Kakashi ran his fingers through your hair soothingly and rested his head on top of yours. Despite the loud cracks of the fireworks, you could subtly hear Kakashi's soft voice saying, "Thank you, Y/N."

-

A/N: this is inspired after seeing Kakashi on episode 306 of Shippuden called ‘The Heart’s Eye’. It was so cute seeing Kakashi in a kimono, I just want to give him the biggest hug:(

[fkingsteverogers]

You’re The One I Want

Parts 1 and 2 are tagged ls!reader on this blog. The end includes some ✨spice✨, so beware if that’s not something you’re interested in. 

Bucky Barnes was in hell. Actual hell. He’d been stuck in a house with you and Sam for a month and a half. And, when Sam wasn’t grating on his last nerve, you would appear, wearing the skimpiest shorts he’d ever seen and a loose shirt, looking so beautiful it’d make his mouth go dry with nerves. (Shut up, Sam, it couldn’t be anything else). Before long, you’d do something that would inevitably send his mind straight into the gutter. (His latest fixation had been about laying you out on the table and taking his time exploring). 

You seemed unwilling to talk about what happened (or didn’t happen) between the two of you before all this safe house bullshit. He could still feel the electricity between the two of you anytime you got close. If it got any closer, Sam was going to start feeling it. To make things worse, all his dreams were suddenly about slowly sliding his hands up your legs, feeling the little prickles from where you’d missed a spot shaving and listening to your little gaps as he pressed his lips to exactly the right spot...

He’s well and truly fucked.

See, his plan had been to avoid getting close to anyone until he was sure the Winter Soldier wasn’t coming back. But he’d shown up on your doorstep and you’d taken him in. The two of you had grieved for Steve together, had put together something like a life. You’d made sure he ate on something like a regular schedule, had made him tea when he had a nightmare. He made sure the creepy assholes who lived down the street left you alone. And it had been really fucking nice, to have someone who cared about him, to care about someone like that again. He’d cared about Steve like that once, worrying over his every move and happiness. 

Bucky could have happily stayed with you forever, making tea and watching movies on Friday nights. He would have settled down and started watching the shitty shows you liked. (Something about a fiancé? And 100 days?) He’d do anything to see a smile light up your face. 

It had all been going great until the Incident. 

 You’d kissed him and he ran away like the coward he was. 

You’d kissed him and it had been the best kiss he’d had since...well ever. You’d been so soft against his chest and he’d wanted to stay in that moment forever. He wanted to hold you, to see your smile when you finally broke apart. 

He wanted to kiss you again. 

(He wanted to do more than kiss you.)

Instead, he’d ran halfway across the world in a panic. Sam and Zemo, no matter how irritating, were safer than examining his feelings for you. So he ran away, tried to avoid thinking about you or anything to do with you (which was impossible because you seemed to be inhabiting a permanent space in his brain). His therapist would call it avoidance, he called it self preservation. His feelings for you were a dangerous, unstable bomb. You were grieving the loss of your husband, the man you both loved deeply. You were his friend, the one person who didn’t care if he woke up at two in the morning, thrashing and screaming. Your happiness meant as much to him as his own. 

After everything, you’d ended up trapped in a tiny house, avoiding each other. He missed the way you smiled at him, the way you would rest your hand on his arm to silently ask if he’s okay. And now, with Sam off on some mission meant to show the world that Captain America is alive and well, you’re alone in the house. It’s like it was before, when you shared an apartment. Except you’re not talking to each other and everything is fucked up. He wished Steve was here, he’d know what to do. 

Bucky makes amends the way his mother taught him: food. He realizes halfway through cooking that maybe the Depression era food of his teens wasn’t considered good anymore. The dish is mostly potatoes, butter, and salt. It’s bland but it kept him, his sisters, and their parents fed during the hard months after his dad lost his job. You were probably used to world class food in fancy restaurants. His stupid potatoes weren’t enough. 

You’re clearly surprised he cooks. You’re even more surprised he’s a good cook. Dinner is a little awkward, Bucky talks to fill the silence. He talks about his childhood, and his family, and growing up with Steve. In turn, you tell him about your life. Your family, hometown, what it was like to have Tony Stark as a Godfather. 

It’s so fucking nice to talk again.

He waits for a lull in the conversation as you clean up before he finally asks.  

“Are we ever going to talk about it?” You hum noncommittally, washing the kettle he’d boiled potatoes in. “Talk about what?” You know damn well what he’s asking about. He’s asking about the kiss and that moment before Sam and Torres had shown up. That moment that had pushed its way into your every waking thought. 

Before you can come up with another smart ass remark, he’s crowding you against the counter. There’s an intense look on his face, somehow different from the one he usually wears. Your heart races and you think your body might actually be on fire. 

“About the fact that you drive me crazy.” There’s no time to respond before Bucky’s kissing you. Your hands automatically go to his hair, clutching the short locks. Dimly, you curse the fact that he cut his long hair. Your mind is filled with dirty images of tugging on his hair, of your fingers laced in his hair as he licks and sucks at the apex of your thighs. 

Bucky’s hands, meanwhile, are mapping your body. His left is resting on your hip, hesitantly rubbing circles on the exposed skin. His right hand is cradling your head, keeping you as close to him as possible while you kiss. You stay in this cramped position for a few moments, enjoying the feel of each other, before he breaks away. Your lips are swollen and your hair is mussed, making you look downright sinful. 

You’re both at a loss for words at this new development, so he doesn’t say anything. He sits at the table, settles you in his lap, and continues. Before long you’re grinding against his thigh, making breathy little noises and whines. 

“James.”

It makes his brain short circuit. All he can hear is white noise as a rush of pleasure spreads through him. He wants to make you make that noise again, wants you to call him James in that tone of voice. Somewhere, he distantly realizes you’re chanting his name and rutting against his thigh. It sounds like heaven. 

After, he’ll make sure you’re both cleaned up and settled into your respective beds. After, he’ll wonder what exactly this means for the two of you. Right now, he’s too busy to care.

[snorlaxlovesme]

Walk Me Home

So I guess I wrote this fic for a SoMa week prompt last year and then didn’t post it??? I found it in my drafts and was really confused what a fully completed one-shot was doing staring back at me lmao

So. Here’s a fic for I think the “2am” prompt. Title a reference to the P!nk song, since I’m pretty sure I spammed it while writing this.

                             ____________________

“Hey. Hey!”

Maka hears Soul’s voice call out from behind her, but she doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t want to talk right now; she wants to leave.

“Jesus, why are you walking so fast? Slow down, fuck’s sake.”

The grit of the sidewalk digs painfully into the heels of her bare feet. It doesn’t slow her down, nor does it stop her. In fact, when she hears Soul’s panting from behind her, she petulantly picks up her speed until his hand is landing on her shoulder and pulling her to a stop. He tugs her around despite her best efforts to keep walking.

“Hey, you wanna tell me what the problem is? Why did you leave the party?” He doesn’t even look mad at her, just concerned, which somehow makes her just feel worse. Soul continues, “I went to go talk to Kid for a few minutes and when I came back everyone said you left. Did something happen?”

Clearly something must have happened. She knows he can see it all over her expression, in the way she bolted away from him. Hell, he can probably feel waves of it coming directly from her soul.  

But she doesn’t want to talk, so she pulls her shoulder away from his grasp and keeps walking, marching towards the direction of home, probably. She’s still a little tipsy, even though she only had a couple drinks at the party. But whoever Kid hires to bartend at the Gallows Mansion has a heavy hand when it comes to mixing drinks. Either her cocktails were stronger than normal or Maka really is the lightweight every assumes she is. She keeps walking despite her protesting feet and the way the world is swaying around her.

“So you’re just not gonna talk to me?” Soul asks, still trailing behind her. She can feel his hand come to rest on her shoulders every now and again, steadying her when she tips a bit too far in one direction, but pulling away once she’s righted herself. Protecting her while also respecting her boundaries. It’s infuriating.

Soul keeps talking to her back. “Was it something it something Black Star said? You know how Star gets when he’s drunk. He’s got no fucking boundaries.”

It’s not Black Star. It’s not anyone specifically. It’s just everyone. It’s everything. It’s nothing. She doesn’t want to explain it, because that would just be another weakness to add to the ever-growing pile.

“I can kick his ass if you want,” Soul keeps trying, knowing full-well that he could never take Black Star in a fight. The pathetic offer almost makes her smile, but she gulps it down and tries not to cry.

Soul circles around in front of her. “Look, you don’t have to tell me, but could you please stop for a sec? You’re not wearing any shoes and your feet are gonna get all fucked up. There could be glass or something.” Maka, being Maka, doesn’t give a damn about potential dangers to herself, and continues marching forward, leaving Soul to roll his eyes and pick up his pace to catch up with her again. She’s trying not to look at him, but she can see the way his eyes widen in his ‘I have an idea’ face, and two seconds later he’s transformed into a scythe in front of her, hovering a few feet off the ground beside her. His wings flap quickly and silently to keep steady beside her.

“Please?” His voice comes his weapon form, tinny and desperate.

Now Maka is the one rolling her eyes. His winged-form only rubs salt in her emotional wounds, but her feet are admittedly in a lot of pain after almost a half mile of walking on cracked concrete. She concedes and throws a leg over his handle. She grabs onto him with both hands, expecting him to whisk her away to their apartment above the buildings of Death City. Soul surprises her by hovering another foot in the air, so her feet don’t drag on the cement, but flying at the same pace she was walking.

The quiet extends before them into the night. The farther they get from the Gallows, the harder it is to hear the booming bass of the music. Soul lets Maka direct them with her soul through the residential neighborhoods and away from crowded streets. She started this walk with the intention of being alone.

But, ten times out of ten she’d rather be with Soul.

She swallows. “Do you care what people think about you?”

On a normal day he’d snark at her for finally deeming him worthy of conversation, but today he’s quiet as he thinks of what response she might be looking for. She can feel he’s trying to pick apart the meaning of this starting question, but eventually just decides to answer honestly.

“Yeah. All the time.”

It’s the truth, Maka can feel in his soul that it is, but she still doesn’t believe it. In the time that Maka has known Soul, he’s grown so much. She’s always admired the way he just lets things roll off his shoulders, not giving a shit what others think about him. Maybe he’s just been faking it, but he does a damn good job playing the Cool Guy he’s always wanted to be as a kid. He makes Maka’s version of the same kind of make-believe feel like child’s play. No one believes in her flimsy brand of confidence.  

“Do you care what people think about us?” she asks.

There’s always been something in the way people talk about the two of them. Soul, the powerful, confident demon weapon that took down Arachne and helped save the world from madness on the moon. Maka, the meister who just managed to hold on for the ride. Maybe that’s not exactly what they say, but it’s implied. In the way other students will look at him with admiration, with appreciation, and then how they look at her, like they’re surprised it was little unstable Maka Albarn who managed to produce a Death Scythe. She knows she’s weak, but do people have to throw it in her face all the time? Like she was the last person they expected to be helpful in the apocalypse?  

Even at a freaking party there are people coming up to Soul and asking him for autographs while Maka stands right next to him. Like somehow they know the exact imbalance of strength between Soul and Maka and they���re disappointed in Maka the same way she is with herself.

Just thinking about it has her unconsciously pulling Soul forward down the street a little faster. She breathes deeply. Just a few more minutes and she’ll be home.

Soul finally speaks, breaking her out of her own internal pity party.  

“No.”

Maka blinks.

No?

“Our partnership is no one’s business but ours. If people have something to say about it, whatever. I only care about one person’s opinion when it comes to our partnership. And that’s you.”

God, it’s such a simple yet complete answer. And he’s totally right, like always. She doesn’t know why she gives a shit what other people think about her and Soul. None of it matters in the end, but God, does Maka wish for once that when she thought of the word “strength” she could picture herself embodying that word instead of never measuring up. Instead of feeling guilty for somehow always thinking she’s holding Soul back.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right?”

Maka’s soul spikes so suddenly in surprise that Soul comes to a halt in the middle of the street.

“I’m serious. I know you wanna be the best meister you can be, but you’re too stuck in your own head to realize how fucked I would be without you as my partner.” He quiets in a way that means he’s gathering his words, and Maka listens with bated breath.  

“You’re the smartest and bravest person I know, okay? And you’re also a reckless moron who pulls some of the craziest shit in battle that I’ve ever seen in my life. It sucks that I have to keep saying this to you, but I’ll keep reminding you until you believe it. The only reason I ever had a prayer of becoming of a Death Scythe was because you’ve been my meister. Stop thinking that you’re not good enough, because you’re better than every asshole at the party. You did something they never could and now never will be able to do.”

Maka closes her eyes for a few heartbeats, allowing this to sink in. Even now, at 2am with the sky pitch dark because of the blackened moon, it’s hard to imagine that she was involved in that fight. She helped save the world and she’s still convinced that she’s somehow not good enough. Maybe Soul’s right, and what they have could only be accomplished with the two of them together. Maybe no one else matters but her and Soul.

“Soul? Transform for me, will you?”

Without hesitation, Soul morphs back into human form, holding her now on piggyback instead of on his weapon form. The shift from being supported by his handle to hanging off his backside is so natural that Maka doesn’t even have to think about it, just adjusts her arms so they’re tighter across his shoulders. She presses her face into the side of his neck in gratitude.

“You always know what to say, you know that?”

Soul snorts and hops a little to scoot her higher up his back. “It’s easy when your soul is practically screaming at me what you’re upset about.” He starts walking again, refusing to put her down because of his stubborn insistence that she’ll hurt her feet. “So. Party sucked for you too, then?”

Now it’s Maka’s turn to snort. All of a sudden the night’s whole emo conclusion feels very overstated. She feels foolish for being so dramatic but remembers that Soul thinks she’s strong even when she’s a drama queen. Depends on her even when she gets caught up in her own head. The reminder calms her soul down considerably.

“Think I drank too much,” she says, nestling closer to his back and laying her arms heavily over his shoulders to remain balanced. “Ox said some dumb shit about me being the weaker partner and it made me sad.”

“Alcohol is a depressant,” Soul says, kind of snooty. He’s repeating what she’s told him on his Moody Drinking nights.  

“Wait a minute,” Soul says. “Did you say Ox? Who the fuck is he to talk about being a weak partner?”

“I thought you said you don’t care what anyone thinks about us.”

“Yeah, but that was before I found out it was fucking Ox Ford who was talking down to you. I could totally take his ass in fight.”

Maka laughs for the first time all night. Soul continues ranting all the way home about how he’s going to beat Ox’s face in the next time he saw him (he won’t) and Maka thinks that maybe real strength is remembering that you always have someone on your side.

[harryskalechips]

Hung up high in the gallery

A/N Hello I am back with an angsty story! I would like to call out an anon who gave me this idea! Sadly I made it turn into a depressing one-shot LMAO Anyways, please enjoy!

Harry and Jeff decide to spend their Friday night at a mysterious art opening. Harry starts to realize though that maybe these photos have a deeper meaning than he originally thought. 

Word count 2350

“Look, dude, I know you’re busy on Friday nights writing music and all but why won’t you come to an art opening with me? Glenne is feeling sick and I was invited to go.” Jeff suggests as he talks to Harry through the phone. Harry was just laying on his couch, watching an old episode of friends.

“I mean… yeah, sure. I’m not doing much anyway.”

“Really? Wow, never thought it would be this easy to pull you out of your house.”

“Funny.” Harry sarcastically laughs as he finally sits up on his couch so he can make his way into his bedroom.

“Okay, how about I text you the address and we meet up? Let’s say at 6:30.”

“Wait, Jeff, what are we supposed to wear?” The thing about Harry is that he can go to events every night and they can all be the same ones but he wouldn’t know what to wear to an art opening.

“Wear whatever you want,” Jeff replies. He didn’t know who was the artist they were going to see but since he knew the gallery owner, he was automatically invited to these things.

~

Harry’s eyes light up a bit as he catches Jeff exiting out of his car. Doing the same, he meets his friend in the middle of the entrance right before they enter the building. “I can’t believe I’m your date tonight.” Harry teases as he hugs his best friend.

“Yeah, thanks, babe.” Jeff laughs along.

As they stepped inside, they noticed that they were at an art opening for a new photographer. Photographs of different colours and moods were framed on the white walls with a spotlight on each. They were beautiful and nonetheless carried a story each individually.

The boys were separated a bit throughout the night as Jeff was pulled into conversations with his father’s old pals. Harry entertained some guests who were driven to get to know him because of his fame. A glass of champagne and another, a few appetizers here and there and Harry was now completely bored.

He walked around by himself throughout the gallery. He didn’t want to pull Jeff out of his social circle nor did he want to stick around next to him like a regular date. The weird thing about this art opening was the artist.

They never presented themselves during the introduction of the night nor was their name plastered anywhere. It was kind of suspicious, Harry thought to himself. Maybe they’ll present themselves at the end of the night or something? He didn’t even realize he was entering a new hallway that led to an enclosed room. A couple smiles at him as they walk out leaving him to look around the room with a new set of pictures.

He was the only man in the room as he heard the soft music and conversation going on in the main hall. Looking around, he quickly notices how each picture around the room starts to lose colour until it’s just black and grey.  What were these photos even about?

Starting at the right side of the room, he looks at the first photo with the most colour. It was a picture of a lot of flowers. It was a bit messy too but he started to notice that the flowers looked familiar. It kind of clicked when he realized that each flower he had a shirt of. Weird really, how the photo yelled at him. The title of the picture was just called Colourful. It was a basic name for a picture that showed so much mayhem. So much excitement.

He carried on through the range of photos, there were only ten but he took all his time in the world observing each one. How each photo gave him flashbacks. Specifically flashbacks of his time in New York.

During his time in One Direction around 2014, he lived in New York a bit. He bought himself a decent-sized penthouse and explored a bit during his time off. Went to every cliché place in the city, went to too many fancy events and fashion shows. Probably dated a lot of models too but he knew they were all flings anyway. It was because he met one girl at this coffee shop near his place.

Her name was Y/N. She loved photography probably as much as this artist right now. She had dreams in a busy city. She was still in university but despite both of their busy schedules, they managed to date for a whole year. He was so in love with her.

As Harry noticed he was eyeing the third photograph for too long, he started to wonder if this was her art opening. But how could that be possible anyways? Last time he remembered she wasn’t making much off her passion. She was becoming pessimistic with all the unlimited rejection New York City had to offer her. It would make his mind go crazy if she flew across America to start her career here. He knew she was damn well talented but he doesn’t think he can handle that idea if it were true.

If another person would observe these photos, they would call these pictures beautiful and deep but in reality, the artist knew that they wouldn’t understand anything from this specific collection. No one should. Yes, art is subjective and can be interpreted in many ways but no one would ever realize that the arrangement of photos showed the artist’s journey...in love.

Harry walks back to the second photo before moving on in the line, noticing that each specific detail seems to make him uncomfortable. After the random pictures of flowers, the next photo showed coffee beans sprinkled with glitter on a table? The mood? Energized. Childlike. The name? Addicted. The third photo showed a pair of stereotypical chelsea boots laying recklessly on a carpet with popcorn all over the floor. The mood? Unknown. The name? Comfortable. The fourth photo displayed a flame in a forest all alone with stars above. The mood? Intimate. The name? Ignited. The fifth photo, however, was different from the other four as the colour was the most saturated than the rest. A very big difference that catches a person’s attention. How he thought the colour was decreasing throughout each photo but now this proves him wrong. It was a picture of a girl’s hand in a man’s hair. The mood? Sexual. The name? S. S? Harry makes a face of confusion. The artist clearly took a photo while she was receiving oral pleasure. Harry thought to himself. This artist has to be a girl. The title… she has to be referring to sex.

 The next 5 photos, however, took a turn as they showed a depressing mood. They slowly turned to black and white. The sixth photo was a bunch of shoes on one side of a sidewalk all facing one way. The seventh photo showed a glass wine with a goldfish inside with a little hole with water pouring out. The eighth photo showed the fourth picture but the trees no longer had leaves. The stars were gone and the flame has diminished. The ninth photo showed a simple white bed with the title Miss. The last photo was a picture of the artist’s neck. Oh, she is a girl. It was a picture of her holding a necklace with her fist covering the charm but you see Harry took his time to stare at the photo longer. In between her digits, was a sight of a ring. A ring he knew too well. A ring he gave to Y/N. The title? In love.

“Hi! Would you like to come to the main presentation room now? The photographer will be introducing herself.” Harry turns himself immediately to catch the girl who interrupted his thought process.

“Y/N.” He mumbles as he stands still, completely in shock. So she was here.

“Oh, Harry! It’s so nice to see you again. I-uh I didn’t realize you would be here tonight?” She smiles warmly as she tries to cover up her stutter. She was all dolled up. Her hair was curled nicely. She was wearing a simple white flowy dress with sparkly heels.  She walks towards him and gives him a good hug.

“So, you’re the artist huh?” He tries to make his heart stop beating fast. It’s been five years, why is he acting unstable?

“That was actually supposed to be a secret but yeah, I am.” She smiles sweetly as she looks around the room he’s been standing in. “Oh, were you looking at this collection?” She crosses her arms and looks around the room of pictures. So, her photos in this collection weren’t exactly groundbreaking like the rest but she wanted to showcase this one too because it made her who she is.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful work Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Can you explain the whole story?” Harry bit his cheek a bit as he carefully watched her. He wanted her to admit that these photos were somehow about him. How could it not be? The photo of the flowers, his Chelsea boots, the model’s hair in between her thighs, the sidewalk… that had to be the paparazzi. The rest of the photos were metaphors except for the last one because he couldn’t understand it. In love? Why was it the last photo after all the depressing ones? Why was it black and white?

“Of these photos?” She laughs in shock. “I can’t. You need to interpret them.” She looks back at him and takes a big swallow.

“Well correct me if I’m wrong but these photos seem to be about us.” The mood Y/N brought along with her suddenly fell. She somehow forgot she had to introduce herself to the rest of her visitors as she stood in front of a man who changed her life.

“Why do you say that?” She doesn’t even try to correct him! Harry smirks to himself as he watches her fidget.

“I was there throughout each step of our relationship. Also this last photo,” He walks closer towards it and points at her fingers. “That ring, I bought it in a vintage shop in Paris in 2013. I gave it to you the first fight we had.” She glares at him for a few seconds before speaking out.

“Yeah.” She gives up and lets out an exhale. “You’re right. This collection is about us.” Harry couldn’t even properly listen to her as he stared coldly at her bare neck.

“Wow, can’t believe you dedicated a whole collection for our story.” He laughs and walks towards the fifth photo. Y/N stands silently, just watching him “You’re really clever. The title is S. We all know that meant sex.” He laughs out loud as he looks at her. Was it obvious he was trying to not talk about the depressing side of their love story? How this whole collection showed why their love stood no chance against his fame.

“The title S. actually doesn’t stand for sex.” She shakes her head and smirks. “It stands for Styles.” Now that made his laugh disappear. He realized that there was no way he can find humour in this whole collection because the truth is what happened between them was sad. It was sad to the point, he had to force himself to forget about her. How was that possible! Ever since New York. Track 8 on HS1.

“Oh.”

“Wondering about the colour difference?” She takes a seat on the lonely beach and offers him to sit beside her. He takes a seat without looking at her. He only looks at the picture of the paparazzi. He knew they were the reason. The reason he grew overprotective of her. The reason that he knew so well of what broke them apart.

“Yeah.”

“Many people won’t understand what’s going on this whole series. They think that the colour is probably my love that slowly drains out.” She pauses a bit and looks behind her to make sure no one can hear her. “But the truth is, the colour represents my fear. In the beginning when I first met you. I was scared to get to know you more. My head was in a party of different emotions. Different voices in my head. Just ultimate chaos, you know? But that slowly disappeared as I fell in love with you. That picture,” She points at the fourth one with the fire pit. “You ignited something in me. I felt reassurance that you would take care of me and love me the same way but as the fifth photo shows, all that fear came back rushing into me as we spent our first night sleeping together. I guess you can say S. does mean sex but I named it after you because when you were asleep in my sheets that night all I can think about is your name and who you truly are.”

“If you noticed, the colour is strongly decreasing for the rest of the photos. You know, despite the most hurtful part of our relationship that was so exhausting and stressful, I was still in love with you. I no longer had fear. I was no longer scared to admit to everyone that I was in love with you even though all this sad metaphorical shit represents us. I guess the last photo shows that I am in love with you even everything we went through. You get the vibe right?” She tearfully smiles at Harry as she notices he’s already looking at her.

“I’m sorry about what happened between us.” he takes a hold of her hand looks at her.

“It’s okay, it’s been five years. I’m okay now.” She laughs it off but he still knows her like the back of his hand. He knew there had to be something still there in between him but what happens if that’s a lie and it’s all in his head?

Something inside Harry that he kept buried in his heart began to grow pressure. It felt like his heart was actually aching like it was about to explode. What happens if I’m not? What happens if I tell you right now I’m still in love with you! “Yeah, five years. I’m okay now too.” He lies.

[eliotandquentinsittinginatree]

Canon divergent where Quentin is Fen

Soooo, imagine this: Let’s say that Julia takes Quentin’s place in the story so far, ergo her going to Brakebills, getting to know and more or less befriend, the rest of the gang. 

They do come into contact with the Beast, realize they have to be the one to stop him, learn about Fillory being real, etc...

Enter the deal with the blacksmith. One of them has to take on the mantle of high king, and that one has to marry the blacksmith’s son, Quentin.

Seeing the cute, young man, (on the short side, semi long hair that has his fingers itching to stroke through, bright eyes, leanly muscled, nice smile, but seems shy, etc), Eliot is a lot more receptive to the whole thing than he was with Fen. (- I like Fen, I think she is a great character, but, well, you know.)

Having a spouse he is actually attracted to and can imagine himself falling in love with eventually, has Eliot put a lot more effort into building a relationship with Quentin.

(Oh, they kill the Beast too, by the way. :-) )

As the son of a blacksmith, having been around weapons his whole life, Quentin knows how to use them. Quentin would still have mental issues, but having grown up in Fillory, where people don’t really know about mental health and depression and treatments and such, Quentin had to seek out alternatives methods to deal with his ‘spells’. (Think about that scene with Quentin and Benedict, when Benedict confessed to Quentin about how his parents had told him to just keep those dark feelings to himself and never talk about them) - So, yeah, Fillory isn’t very progressive when it comes to self-care. 

So, whenever Quentin was getting depressed, or as his father would call it, get one of his ‘spells’, his father would make him handle the weapons, or train to fight with them. “A smith can only make a good weapon, when he knows how to fight with a weapon” or something like this. 

Needless to say, Quentin got really, freaking good with a sword. (even though he is totally clumsy with almost everything else. Which Eliot just finds adorable)

When King Idri of Loria threatens war if the Fillorians don’t surrender their magic resources, the wellspring (how did this go again?, damn, so much has happened in the seasons), Quentin convinces Eliot to let him fight Idri in Eliot’s stead. (As the high king’s husband, Quentin can take Eliot’s place for certain things.)

Eliot doesn’t like it, because who would enjoy watching the person they are in the process of falling in love with fight another warrior to the death to prevent a war, but with the wellspring just in the beginning stages of getting fixed again, and magic still being wildly unstable, he has to relent to Margo and Quentin’s arguments that Eliot likely wouldn’t stand a chance.

Watching the fight between Quentin and Idri is a kind of sweet torture for Eliot.

Because his boy is god damn hot fighting with a sword, an almost unnatural seeming grace leading Quentin’s usually clumsy movements, as he blocks and parades and attacks. 

But it’s also fucking terrifying, because Quentin is fighting TO THE DEATH, and Idri is clearly not a novice with the sword.

Quentin get’s some bruises and cuts (severity of those to be negotiated ;-) ) , but ultimately wins. When it is time to deliver the killing blow, the king’s son, Es, calls a halt to the fight. (He doesn’t want his dad to die, it’s understandable.)

Eliot isn’t interested in peace negotiations just then, and leaves Margo and Tick to hash things out with Prince Es. He is far more concerned with getting his injured husband back to the castle and take care of his wounds. And then apply a whole other set of tender loving care upon Q.  ;-)

Eliot at some point in time becomes aware of Quentin’s mental health issues, and does his best to help him with those. With actual communication and reassurance and all those good things. 

Maybe there is a kind of loophole to the whole ‘having to stay in Fillory for the rest of your life’ deal, and Eliot can take like, ‘vacations’ on earth. And Eliot would just LOVE the fuck out of showing Quentin all the things he enjoys on earth, and all the things he thinks Quentin would enjoy on earth. And watching Quentin experience all those things that Eliot doesn’t even think are all that remarkable, makes him fall for his husband all over again. 

And then we could just have lots of funny, cute, lovely little scenes about the two of them having adventures on earth, and in Fillory, and growing into their roles as leaders of a kingdom, and deepening the bonds of friendship with the rest of the gang, and falling more and more in love with each other every day. 

Needless to say, it doesn’t have to follow canon at all after the beast is defeated.

Any takers?