#then i got to kintsugi and i was like 'holy shit'

[plum-pitt]

Holy shit. I just realized i’ve never even yapped about my headcanons for the rise guys. This is a criminal offense on my part! Must be rectified immediately!!

Disclaimer: Don’t think there’s a lot of hot takes here, but feel free to disagree and talk about your own interpretations if you’d like!! Headcanon is fun and i love discussing it. it’s all fictional and since the text doesn’t give us much concrete shit on these topics we’re all free to make our own, equally valid readings of it. :3

Leo- Transmasc He/Him, gay as fuck who here could’ve guessed, ADHD haver, definitely smokes weed. Fluent in spanish from watching telenovellas as a child. Wants to be a flirty whore/aff so fucking bad but whenever he sees someone he’s legitimately attracted to any charisma he might’ve had gets thrown out the window and into a woodchipper in favor of helpless stuttering. His portalling mishaps early in the series have led him to silly sidequests all over the world that he just,,,, doesn’t really talk about. This won’t come up until they’ll end up in some random ass place and find out just how well travelled and connected he actually is. He’s also got a job at Hueso’s for fun and extra cash to fund his addiction to pot and ordering stupid shit he doesn’t need online. He’s a server, wears rollerskates to “move faster” on the job, just ends up running into shit more often than not. Great with the kids tho, performs little sleight of hand magic tricks and tells jokes to make them happy, never had a fussy kid he couldn’t calm down in a snap. Calls himself Hueso’s nephew and nepotism hire, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a decently competent and well liked employee outside of the several skating related accidents. Shell was cracked badly in the invasion, when they sealed it up, he asked Mikey to paint the healed cracks gold, mimicking the japanese practice of Kintsugi.

Mikey- Definitely queer but not into labels ;3 He/Him is what he defaults to, but any pronouns work for them. Semi fluent in italian, don’t ask me why, just feels right, let chef boy speak italian dammit. One of those mfs on instagram who insists on posting pictures of the food he makes, except his actually looks good and not painfully mediocre so they get a pass. Has been tagging walls in hard to reach spots all over the city for years at this point, after Raph confronted her abt it, fearing that he’d get caught someday, he told him that he’d stop. Yeah, that was a lie he kept doing it, just sneakier now. Makes money off of art commissions, still broke as hell tho cuz he spends it all on bougie ass ingredients and art supplies. Post canon definitely delved more into mystics and spirituality, trains with draxum but also took up meditation in his free time. Fucks with weed and the occasional psychedelic when working on art, says it helps get the creative juices flowing. Considering asking donnie to forge some documents for him so he can attend college online and earn a psych degree. His speech patterns flip on a dime between vague, wise fortune cookie therapist man and typical gen-z slang so abruptly it gives anyone not already familiar with him total whiplash.

Donnie- NonBinary They/He Bisexual but i can’t decide if they’re the kind that can’t stop pulling or can’t pull to save his life. Fluent in several languages, ASL, French, Russian, Japanese. Actually one of their few acedemic endeavors that he doesn’t typically show off and gloat about, makes it all the scarier when his siblings hear him muttering vaguely threatening sounding shit in russian when shit doesn’t go their way. Has tried most substances for “research purposes”, ultimately decided he doesn’t like the feeling of their big ol brain being hindered under the influence, this has a few exceptions tho, mainly when it’s with Leo. Has John Bishops IP address and threatens to drop it on 4chan to “see what happens” every time he tries messing with their family or stopping him from “borrowing” material resources from the US government. Almost considered bs-ing his way into college before they used a cloaking broach to shadow april at school for like 2 days. It was there they learned that the education system fucking sucks and he probably knows more than most professors about his topics of interest anyway. Does freelance work for cash, as far as their brothers know they’re not building and selling anything dangerous (which is code for probably arming both sides in a far away military conflict with deathrays). Spends his free time cyber bullying children on roblox and twitter, and caring for their greenhouse of plants that all have names. (yes he grows weed. his GeniusGrown™️ zaza is known far and wide for its consistently excellent quality. and no, Leo does not get a family discount. Mikey does tho.)

Raph- Someone please send the big man some help😭 he/him(?) Definitely queer in some way shape or form but refuses to confront any identity crisis because he’s just so busy keeping his dumb ass siblings outta shit. Tried weed once and will never touch a substance again, makes his anxiety spike real bad when he doesn’t feel in full control of himself. Runs around with Cassandra and sometimes Jr to do vigilante justice on the side of he and his siblings’ usual patrols. Living garbage disposal and i mean that quite literally. He has and will eat anything, rocks, toys, silverware, sometimes on accident, sometimes on a dare, and sometimes just because he wants to. He grew up gnawing on the legs of furniture, rusty sewer pipes, really any nonliving thing that he could fit his choppers around (unlike donnie who just bit any living creature within a 5 mile radius of his location). Since the invasion made Leo step up as leader Raph has been able to step back a little bit and not have everything in a chokehold, he has a mini crisis about his place in the family and his sense of identity without being a leader. Tries to hide how much it’s affecting him but ofc, living with mikey, this does not last and his ass FINALLY gets chucked (very lovingly) into therapy. Loves to knit, definitely in some kind of old lady facebook group centered around it (he has so much nursing home gossip floating around in his brain hehe)

Alright that’s all for the teetlez. lmk if yall wanna hear about my thoughts on the rest of the main cast, or some of the side cast! Can’t promise i’ll have this much to say on all of em but i’ve definitely got thoughts lol. I might even make a post diving into different character dynamics. idk tho, my fingies are tired typing all that shit😭

Anyway i hope u enjoyed my ramblings, have a lovely day :3

[linnetagain]

List of random Season/skating/Bloodweave thoughts that I don’t know justify their own asks but that I thought you might like to hear anyway:

Chapter 1, Karlach asking Astarion about pay: “Vroomvroom: so you’ll suddenly do a really shit job in week 5 then? :P” YOU CHEEKY LITTLE BUGGER, YOU (I love it, A+ foreshadowing)

I stumbled across Ryan Dunk’s “Freddy Mercury on Ice” skate, and his butt was weirdly distracting. I’m very aspec, is this what the allosexuals mean when they say a pair of jeans makes their butt look good? Why do I keep looking at his butt, shut up and let me watch the skate

The “middle finger” skate Astarion did while Gale was in the hospital was to Looking at Me by Sabrina Carpenter, right? I’m basing this on its order in my mega playlist, I can never remember what chapter things happen in and I do not have TIME to reread the whole thing again, no matter how enjoyable it would be. Anyway. I finally listened to Looking at Me yesterday, and then listened to it another 37 times. Holy cha-cha music, I was not expecting the mariachi trumpet sound. So sassy, I love it. (I did ballroom for about a year and half in high school, back in yonder years of 2011-2012. I was on the standard team, but sometimes I still get beat over the head with the urge to Do Something Latin by certain pop songs). But, more to the point, I LOVE the lyrics for this story moment. For all Amy’s strategizing about song choice and how they need to handle the narrative with Gale’s hospitalization, I think Astarion freaking nailed it—you think they’re looking at (Gale)? They’re looking at me. Media tries to make a big deal about Gale’s collapse, or Astarion’s response, or the fact that he’s showing up to Hessie’s school, or any potential leaked footage of the Mystra Kerfuffle backstage, or anything Cazador tries, or ANYTHING—Astarion draws their gaze instead, whether they want it or not (just look for the broken necks). I can’t remember the exact names of the maneuvers you can pick when you level up a fighter in-game, but there’s one that will force nearby enemies to attack you instead of your allies. That’s what this reminds me of.

Cool factoid about me: I got to go on a field trip in 1st grade to a nearby ice rink during the lead up to the 2002 Olympics, and we got to watch a skating pair rehearse their routines. After some research, I THINK it was the French ice dancing team, Gwendol Peizerat and Marina Anissina, who won gold in one of their events. The routine I got to watch was probably one of these! Honestly, the thing I remember most is the dude’s luxurious hair XD

Heads up: I am going to attempt to draw Gale & Astarion in contrasting skating costumes, drawing from male/female costumes, but making both of them gender non-conforming/androgynous. Gonna try and give Gale his long skirt. I’ll report back.

Imagine, if you will, all of Gale’s official music videos going forward incorporating dance/skating choreography from Astarion. I remember a gazillion years ago, when Lindsey Stirling was on a “dancing with the stars” type webshow where all the stars were YouTubers, her music videos going forward all credited her pro dance partner as the paid choreographer. Ice skate music videos. Piano on the ice rink. Gale singing (lip-syncing?) while skating. Outdoor skating on location. Maybe Gale skates with him, maybe it’s just Astarion, maybe it’s just Gale! Who knows. Ice skate music videos.

I have had this vivid image for… weeks, honestly, I can’t remember which chapter of my first read-through triggered this, of their final skate being some kind of dope mashup of Golden and Always You, with Astarion’s back and arms and Gale’s chest exposed, with gold body paint highlighting each of their scars. Because kintsugi. I figure Astarion would be the one to design and make/customize the costumes, cuz I do not trust Volo even in the slightest with something like that. Maybe it would pair with Cazador being publicly denounced and/or arrested, like a “do these look like they came from a fall to you??” I don’t know. Maybe there’d be a secret third song that Gale has yet to write that the other two would morph into, something triumphant to resolve the story of the skate/the songs, where Golden is kind of hindsight bittersweet and Always You is a pining song.

Ugh. I wish I had filk powers and could make Gale’s songs real. YO, FAN COMPOSERS/FILK MUSICIANS, I HAVE A PROJECT FOR YOU GIFT-WRAPPED AND READY TO GO—

By any chance, do you have video examples of the particular moves that the boys use in their skates? Both Astarion’s TikToks and their competition pieces. For reasons. No, shush, no guessing.

I found some really cool skating vids to share, but my YouTube is being a BUTT so perhaps that shall be a separate ask. Welp.

HEHEHEHE

Ice skater's glutes are INSANE. I know in canon Astarion has a itty bitty tush, but in season that man is CAKED.

Yes it was Looking at Me!! I have so much fun choosing the songs

Gale is absolutely still working on that song he's been writing about Astarion and it's about to get a whole new angle (so, less sad and pine-y) and I love to imagine Astarion in the music video or choreographing it, haha!

I do have examples of specific moves but depressingly few of them have names - would you be interested in me linking the YouTube videos with the timestamps? Would that be useful?

I'm sorry I haven't responded to the rest of your points but it was either YES, GOOD, YES or I CAN'T ANSWER THAT WITHOUT SPOILERS so I hope you'll forgive me. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm it's so appreciated ily 💕💕

[oxymoronish]

tagged by @aeolianblues, thank you! You've got much better taste in music than me loool

list 13 songs you’ve been listening to lately

The Show Goes On - Bruce Hornby / The Range (from The Bear S2 soundtrack, which is looooovely)

ONE MORE TIME - blink-182 (i've listened to this so many times in the last few weeks pfff. makes me weirdly emotional..)

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) - Fall Out Boy (i'm seeing them live again in december HOLY SHIT)

logical - Olivia Rodrigo (one of my favourites off her latest record)

Clean Slate - the mountain goats (looking forward to the new album)

GRAVEYARD SONG - Jeff Rosenstock (and speaking of new albums, this was a fantastic release as well ahhhhhh. love love rosenstock)

Doo-Ba-Zoo - Joff Bush (is this from the Bluey soundtrack? yes. is it catchy as hell? yeah...)

Just Like Heaven - The Cure (played on The Last Of Us, that's why it's in my library)

Common People - Pulp (i've been catching up on older eps of 6Music's Indie Forever recently, and Pulp comes up a lot)

Chaise Longue - Wet Leg (used to be quite eh about this song but i'm into it now lol)

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Bastille (from their MTV Unplugged session, a fun little cover)

Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne (i'm Always listening to Avril lol, those two first albums are on constant rotation)

I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith (from my work playlist askldfjsdf i get free reign of the music in the autopsy room on weekends so i chuck in some popular stuff for the medical assistants)

Not tagging anyone but feel free to snag this. ta

[newdejavuu]

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST - LISTENING NOTES

no one is gonna care. but here are the notes I took during my first listen of smfs:

- love was such an awesome opener

- heartbreak is amazing and so danceable and gonna be a tour favorite but I’m ready for the new stuff

- OMG THE BASS LINE

- PATRICKS VOCALS HOLY SHIT

- OH THIS IS SO FUNKY THE BACKGROUND GUITAR THE CLAPS

- ITS. SOUL-PUNKY

- the brief moment of silence I SCREAMED

- hold me was so fucking danceable

- OMG FAKE OUT THIS FEELS LIKE BREAKING THROUGH THE SURFACE OF THE OCEAN A BREATH OF FRESH AIR

- this is teenage movie montage shit I’m in love

- Fake out song of the summer. I’m calling it now

- oh, pete. I would never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me

- SCAR CROSSED LOVERS.

- THE CHOIR

- half ur life you’ve been hooked on death.

- THE GUITAR??????((???????

- ohhhhhh???? is this??? mo-town??

- pink seashell. the gold shipped standard. maybe it’ll bring our luck back………

- YAASSSS AN ORCHESTRA

- HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCK. PATRICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

- he could write a musical I know he could. He understands the harmonies.

- Head in my hands this song is everything

- Grammy nomination for I Am My Own Muse

- Ok. A little rockier song w/ flu game

- still got that pop influence. nice drum beat here omg

- GUITARS AGAIN LETS GO JOEEEEE

- I hear influence (I wanna be like you - monkey song)

- OMG HIP HOP NEXT

- IFS PETE POETRY

- JESUS CHRIST. I SPENT TEN YEARS TEN YEAAAAARS.

- Jesus. Such a summer album

- Fall Out Boy, man. Insane musicians.

- Kintsugi kid has me almost in tears. Nostalgia. A little bittersweet.

- DISCO???????????????

- DISCO COVID SO G???

- I love how pop-y this album is. but not quite leaning too far into pop to be a pop record.

- these songs are going to be a blast to dance to on tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- LAST SONG COMING UP

- more strings. God bless

- HOLY GUCK THE JEYS

- SO MUCHHHHH FOR STAAAARRDUST

- OH PATRICK YR VODALS

- sledgehammer to a disco ball. Insane image

- OH A REPRISE OF LOVE FROM THE OTJER SIDE

- PATRICK YOU UNDERSTAND MUSIC THEORY SO MUCH

- 44 minutes passed so quickly. time stopped.

- THE CHOIRRRRERREEREEEE

- the FADE OUT IM

- ITS STRUCTURED LIKE A MUSICAL. ITS A MUSICAL

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For number 19 in your ask game—GOD i am obsessed with The First Step of Kintsugi!! It’s my overall top favorite fanfic, ever. It makes me go absolutely insane every time I read it—screaming, crying, clawing at the walls, etc :D

I could write a whole essay about how much I love it and why, because everything about it is absolutely phenomenal. One of the things I really appreciate is the humor you’ve woven through! There’s SO many incredible lines in that fic, but one line that makes me crack up every single time I reread is pretty early on:

“I get the concern, really. But my body got like. Super weird after I got enhanced. A car could run me over and I’d just get up and walk away.”

“Did a car run you over?” demands Frank.

 “That’s not the point of this,” says Peter.  I lose my entire mind every time I read that, holy shit—just, absolutely hilarious and perfectly in character for peter.

In a more general sense, I love the way your juxtapose the most top-tier humor with the more serious parts of your work! I go on an emotional roller coaster every time, and immediately run right back around to go again. Hope you have a great day!

that line was actually one of my FAVORITE jokes to write in the entire fic and I'm SO thrilled you liked it too. like, the sheer energy of that statement. peter is a walking red flag to reasonable adults. he's so concerning. i love him so much.

i don't think i've ever taken something seriously in my life and i think that's most of where my writing style comes from. like, i'm just a clown. i do a lot of generally serious things and i've had plenty of rock bottoms to become acquainted with and i tend to carve out the space for a joke in it. i have to actively make disclaimers when i do pro bono work where i'm like "hey this is a gender marker change/immigration petition/whatever for you and that's such a big deal, i'm always down to clown but i can totally sober up and not crack any more jokes during our meeting" and i've never had a meeting where someone didn't want a little levity. like, i can definitely tell when it's not the time to make a joke but i just generally think that the world is a much nicer place to live in if your sense of comedic timing is kept in easy reach

[godnectar]

*hugs*

I nowadays like seeing ceramic art. Like ceramic plates and cups. I find them super adorable

You played a lot of games! That sounds really fun. Uno is a major friendship breaker especially +2, +4 cards, and stacking them all together.

Genshin?! Holy I would love to play with you, once I fix my wifi setting on my phone. My phone probably knows that I will get paid soon and wants attention *cries in asian*

How was your day my love? 🧁

if i already was bad at sculpting, i am even worse at doing ceramics- 😭 it's relaxing to see though, and kintsugi would be nice to try out 👀

i really do play many games, and my pc's storage is suffering the consequences 💀 and that UNO shit actually got me more enemies than when i have to participate in group projects,,

and yes! it would be nice to play with you, my sunshine <3 (understand it however you want 😜) but ngl, i only started with genshin like a week ago and i'm awful at it-

[thekidsarentalright]

holy shit i meant to send this way earlier and then this week got rlly chaotic… anyway hello i’m alive!! how are u?!?

my fave paramore song is last hope bc… emotions :3 in the mourning is such a good choice too, it reminds me of watching a sunrise! and my favorite disney movie is either tangled or lilo and stitch <3 there are a lot but those are my top 2 i think!!

also shoutout to the anon who noticed all the dance miserable parallels bc i had similar thoughts the other day! (noticed the parallel between it and heartbreak feels so good) but the way they explained it and connected it to kintsugi kid? and finding EVEN MORE parallels?! galaxy brain moment fr!! i’m so intrigued abt what the other parallels are now 👀

this album is giving v strong vibes of like… healing and seeing the good but through gritted teeth (if that makes sense lol) and i’m so excited for all of it! the (ten years) after kintsugi kid is making me want to explode 😭 can you believe we’re only 20 days away from hearing it??

- 🧋 anon

ah no worries!! i'm pretty good, have had a couple of busy weeks and am having a couple days of nothing which is nice!! i hope ur doing good too, aside from the chaos!!

oughhhh last hope is probably one of my other favorites too it makes me so. words can't describe it actually just. emotions. yeah fkrnfkd in the mourning is So like watching a sunrise i love that :,) n those are both such good picks!!! i love tangled sm too, taste as always

yeahhhh for real that anon is so smart for making all those connections Immediately based off A song title like?? i'm intrigued to hear more of their thoughts too! i love hearing everyones thoughts rn like. deciphering this album has been soooo fun! plus if this is how we are w just titles i cannot Wait till the album comes out omg

those are the exact same vibes im getting from it too!!! very much a "if i can live through this i can do anything" vibe, yk? which is just. such an incredible theme to explore in an album. and the (ten years) is making me crazy too, made a whole post abt it earlier actually fjdnfk i Cannot believe we are so close to it being out, i'm so excited!! which song are you most excited for :0?

[grimm-the-tiger]

Ranking my favorite bands (warning: this is like 50% folk rock/indie folk) 

The Oh Hellos - the only even vaguely religious music I will listen to. Most of their songs are fairly secular, which is probably why I like them, and the more blatantly religious ones are probably closer to “religious trauma” in terms of lyrical content than “praise Jeebus” (there’s a crapton of Bible references though, but they’re used more for metaphor and imagery than religion). Their music is also very optimistic, which isn’t a very common thing with most of the bands on this list; most of their songs kinda give me the feeling of “even if everything’s going downhill, it’ll still get better in the end”. 

Lord Huron - if I heard this out of the blue while I was hiking in the middle of the woods, I would be completely unsurprised. Except for Vide Noir, all of their songs give off pristine “middle of nowhere and there’s weird shit happening” vibes. There’s a supernatural element in like 90% of their songs, ranging from “taking a dimension-hopping acid trip” to “dude comes back from the dead to get revenge on an evil real estate dealer who killed his family”. A lot of their songs (or at least their earlier ones; I’m still listening to Long Lost) also tell stories, which is nice. 

Death Cab for Cutie - I’d imagine their music sounds like what it’s like to live in a city where it always rains. It’s somewhere halfway between nostalgic and melancholic; my two favorite songs from Thank You For Today are “Northern Lights”, which is more optimistic, and “Gold Rush”, which is entirely focused on the nostalgia that comes from returning to your home town to find it irreversibly changed. Also, one of my favorite fics got its title from “Amputations”, so I can’t really complain. 

Imagine Dragons - while I agree with some people that their first three or so albums are their best, the rest of their music isn’t slouching either (”Wrecked” and “Bones” are probably my two favorites of their new songs, and if you haven’t listened to them, YOU SHOULD). While they’re kind of overrated, that’s more due to their popularity than any flaw with their actual music. Also, Dan Reynolds has one hell of a vocal slide, and I can respect that. 

Rise Against - punk is only really my genre sometimes, so I tend to gravitate towards these guys’ music because their lyrics are really good and to the point, sometimes to the extent that it’s downright cheesy (the children’s chorus in “Make It Stop”, anyone?). Not that that’s a bad thing, though; it can actually be really effective, such as the aforementioned “Make It Stop”, where the chorus makes it go from a standard punk rock song to straight-up badass. They’re also more...diverse than most punk bands, I guess, in terms of repertoire; some of their music is more acoustic, and I honestly think those songs are amongst their best because of the contrast they draw between the slow instrumentals and the bitter, harsh lyrics. 

The Lumineers - I only recently started getting back into these guys’ music and holy shit they’ve gotten good. I listened to most of Cleopatra and their debut album maybe three years ago and just kinda thought “meh, they’re good but they’re not that good”, but their new(ish) album III is *chef’s kiss*. I’m probably biased on that front though, since I’m a sucker for concept albums. They’re more melancholic than most folk rock bands I listen to and they don’t rely as heavily on electronic instruments, which gives them a more down-to-earth tone than the other two folk rock bands listed so far, but they make the kind of music I’d listen to on the rare rainy days where I live (Arizona sucks ass, man). 

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

it's been a year since i first completed persona 5 royal, and since then i've read quite a bit of akeshu fic. i went through my bookmarks to find my favorites to rec them to you all here in a kind of masterpost. i'll be giving a short summary as well as my thoughts on them. this is going to end up being a very long post, so the rest will be under a readmore.

so, first off we have my favorite oneshots that I've read this year. listed in the order i read them.

you've got me seeing through different eyes by futuresoon

a bad ending p5r fic where maruki gives akira the ability to actualize akechi according to his wants. really fucked up with a lot of psychological horror, and while i don't necessarily think this is what would have happened in canonverse, its a terrifying thought experiment and exactly what i'm looking for in a p5r bad ending akeshu fic.

Fools Rush In by Atalan

akira speedruns his confidant with akechi in a single day and things end up happening a little bit differently. it absolutely nails their dynamic and there is A Moment in this fic that will forever live rent free in my mind.

never a wish better than this by shouldbeworking

2/2 but its groundhog day (which is fitting, since 2/2 literally IS groundhog day). this made me hurt in a very unique way only a fic like this could. god. hhh. pain. just thinking about it. fuck

When it's over, you're the start by thenotwriter

the phantom thieves slowly start to forget everything that happened in the metaverse, including akechi, but akira doesn't want to forget. there's a moment in this fic that made me cry but don't worry it has a happy ending.

why don't we spin the wheel by futuresoon

what if there was a cognitive akechi in sae's palace. this one has some pretty fucked up stuff in it so read the tags but damn is it good holy shit.

With Mournful Tread by Yustiel

ng+ time loop but its a little bit ethereal and you have to read it multiple times to really get it. that ending though. it always gets me. its the kind of thing you have to stare into space for a while after reading it.

Falling Up by KivaEmber

akechi has Angst about killing akira during the third semester. it's short and simple but it hits extremely hard.

fallen angel by cruellae

after killing akira, akechi descends through one last palace. one final mental shutdown to induce in a target whose distortion is dante's inferno--a hell covering all of tokyo. impeccable symbolism and several moments that make me Emotional.

next we have some shorter longfics, aka anything with multiple chapters that's under 50k words. once again laid out in the order i read them.

Lions Share by Turandot

akira and akechi are both hit with a status effect that compels them to snuggle with sumire that sustains even after they leave the metaverse. very royal trio-centric but not necessarily romantic. this was the first p5 fic i read so my memory of it is a bit hazy, but i do think i had a couple minor gripes with akechi's character, but on the whole it is very very good.

Pleasant Boy by ez_cookie

okay. this is my second favorite p5 fic of all time. GO READ IT.

ah shit. i forgot to tell you what it's about. maruki actualizes goro during the third semester and turns him into the detective prince but Genuine. this fic is so so so good and has my favorite moment in any fic ever. i have fully sobbed both times i have read it, and i do not easily cry. (it has a happy ending.) go read it!!!!! now!!!!!

gravitational reset by chashmish

the third semester if maruki accidentally created a bond between akira and akechi that forced them to be near each other at all times. lots of akeshu fluff as they try to deal with this 'problem' with some amazing moments near the end.

Kintsugi by cryptisPrince and Ethereally

this starts out as a velvet room attendant akechi fic and ends with an akechi palace. the beginning is good but the ending is goddamn AMAZING.

killed with kindness by veterization

(this one is technically JUST over 50k words buuut i decided to put it in this category anyway.) the phantom thieves forcibly befriend akechi starting early on in the game. the pt befriending akechi is literally my favorite thing ever and this fic does it very well. its super sweet.

Press To Give Gold by Erina

persona 5 but the characters use reddit. this one is fricking hilarious and mostly lighthearted fun until it suddenly punches you in the gut. and then its lighthearted fun again.

take me to church by cruellae

akira has a palace post-royal. the symbolism/imagery in this one is what really elevates it for me.

Trickster's Maze by TwilightKnight17

another akira has a palace post-royal. its a tad mean to the thieves but the symbolism and catharsis is worth it. joker's shadows (there are several) are literally the best things ever i love them a lot.

Flight through fall by Tayani

a summary would require several trigger warnings, so. post-royal, very sad and dark, but it has a hopeful ending and i found it to be very cathartic. i've already read it twice and i only found it a couple months ago.

Love, Ren by Tayani

akira (okay, its obviously ren in this fic, but i always call him akira bc ren just does not fit him and i will die on this hill) writes a series of letters to akechi over the course of the game. the characterization is wonderful and the ending beautiful.

finally, we have the longer longfics, aka everything over 50k words. its the shortest list but some of my absolute favorites are here.

the first step to find your way is to mark where you have been by futuresoon

akechi palace fic post-royal. akira and akechi make their way through akechi's palace every night so akechi can return to the living world and the metaverse can finally be completely destroyed. there is a ton of amazing character development for akechi and it gets deep into his backstory. this fic also heavily influenced my own akechi palace au, which you'll probably be able to tell once its out. this is one of my absolute favorite akechi-centric fics. there is some darker stuff though so mind the tags.

it takes a village by shouldbeworking

AND HERE WE HAVE MY #1 AKECHI FIC OF ALL TIME. its a ng+ from akechi's perspective and everyone remembers the original timeline except for goro. i read this fic three times in a fucking row despite it being the longest fic on this list it is THAT good. and i am currently (slowly) making my way through it a fourth time and highlighting all the best beautiful passages which is honestly a majority of the fic. the whole thing is just, absolutely gorgeous in every single way and has everything you could ask for in an akechi redemption fic. i cannot rave enough about this one just go read it and pleasant boy and i will die happy. wow. just. wow.

hiraeth by atomjenkins

akechi spends time with each of the phantom thieves one on one during the third semester. (almost) every chapter is beautiful and explores their parallels with akechi. i have a couple minor complaints about how it deals with akechi's feelings about killing people, and one major complaint about makoto's chapter (the author doesn't like makoto and it shows), but other than that. very solid, highly recommend.

Once More, With Feeling by beesandtoes

akira and akechi get stuck in a time loop on the day akechi dies. this starts out great and slowly gets better and better and then the twist hits and it becomes absolutely fucking amazing. definitely somewhere in my top five.

the uprooting of the universe by akc

taking place five years after the end of persona 5 royal, akira and akechi meet by happenstance and reconnect. both akechi and akira have changed a lot in the past 5 years and while akechi's life is now relatively stable, it's still not happy. basically a slow burn of akechi learning how to let himself become happy and finally make some real friends. the akeshu is extremely wholesome and adorable. also this fic made me kin akechi even harder, lets just leave it at that.

and you know what? lets include some bonus ichinose-centric fics i read bc i went through her whole tag on ao3 and these two were the highlights. ichinose deserves so much better. c'mon you guys lets write more about her please i am begging

A God As Lost As You And Blind by Fuchi

multichapter fic where ichinose and maruki have a long conversation in his taxi and do some soul searching together. there were a few (many) moments where i was like 'do people really talk like this?' but then again this is ichinose and maruki we're talking about.

Do AIs Dream of Past Mistakes? by presidenthomemaker

oneshot where ichinose has a touching moment where she reconnects with her emotions while on a road trip with sophia. nitpick that its a little repetitive of their moment together in p5s but i liked this fic a lot regardless.

[sharkfish]

“Holy shit, is that a tattoo?” - well, is it? or is it something else? :eyes:

[from this prompt list] [all my ficlets]

Dean is so kind. And funny and smart and sweet when he thinks no one is watching, but kind is what Cas is thinking of now, because Dean got up painfully early on a Saturday morning just to help a casual friend set up a booth at the monthly arts and crafts fair. 

Cas is grateful Dean is here, not just because he never would’ve gotten the tent up alone but because Dean’s easygoing calm helps assuage Cas’s fear that he’ll spend all day here to sell absolutely nothing. He doesn’t need the money, but he’d be so embarrassed for not a single person to like the things he so painstakingly created. 

Once the tent is up, they start unpacking the boxes Cas so carefully placed his mugs and bowls and vases in, wrapped in newspaper to prevent chips or scratches. They work in friendly silence, listening to the other vendors setting up around them, and then Dean nudges Cas and says, “How much for this one?” 

It’s one of the kintsugi-inspired mugs, dark blue with veins of gold woven around it. “I couldn’t possibly charge you,” Cas says.

“Yeah, you could. How much?” 

Cas rolls his eyes. “Nothing. It’s yours if you like it.” 

“I like all of your stuff,” Dean says, setting his mug off to the side. Cas has a sudden image of Dean at his kitchen table sipping coffee, or maybe at his desk at work where anyone can see him holding something made by Cas’s hands. It makes a delicious warmth hum in his chest and a smile spread across his face. 

“Thank you,” Cas says. 

The day’s heat is starting to roll in, so Cas sheds his jacket and Dean rolls up the sleeves of his flannel halfway up his forearms. As he does it, Cas catches a glimpse of a constellation of black dots not far below his elbow. 

“Is that a tattoo?” Cas asks, heart sinking because he knows it’s not. 

Dean jerks his sleeve down so the mark is fully hidden again. Flatly, he says, “No.” 

“I didn’t know you have a soulmate,” Cas says. He hadn’t even considered it, too caught up in his feelings to wonder if Dean has a soulmate when so many people don’t. 

Clenching his jaw, Dean says, “It didn’t work out.” 

Cas looks away, fiddling with the placement of a couple of vases on the table. “I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, well.” Dean snorts a laugh like nothing is funny. “I’m not exactly relationship material.” 

Cas wishes he hadn’t brought it up, but that doesn’t stop him from digging deeper. “That’s ridiculous. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate.” 

Dean shoots him a look, but Cas isn’t sure what it means. “Do you have a mark?” 

“No,” Cas says. “I used to wish I did, but now I think it’s better to choose myself.” 

“That sounds good and all, but for me — well, no one wants someone who can’t even make it work with their soulmate.” 

“I do,” Cas says. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to someone just because of that.” 

“You, uh. Would go out with someone like me? Someone with a soulmate?” 

“Yes.” 

“Just someone like me, or — actually me?” 

“You.” 

“Really? Because I’ve been wishing I could ask you out.” 

“You can,” Cas says. “I’ll say yes.” 

Dean rolls his eyes. “You asshole, will you go out with me?” 

“Yes,” Cas says, finally letting himself smile. 

Dean smiles back, but before either one of them can say anything more, a woman pauses at Cas’s booth and says, “How much are the mugs?” 

[marriedzukka]

Hey there!! 🦝 💙 I’m back, as promised.

Buckle up! I got a lot of thoughts and feelings and I’m here to express ‘em:

There are some things that need to be processed in safe connection with another person. So it makes sense that now Zuko has both a safe connection, as well as having someone else helping with the day-to-day with Izumi, that there’s finally space to process all the grief. But, of course, the guy is gonna repress that shit as long as he can. That’s on brand.

Oh no, the grey hair existential crisis!! Just dye your hair purple and pretend you’re still young. Not that I’m speaking from experience. Not me. Nope. 👀

I mean, I totally get Azula being anxious about how fast they’re moving. I love how you show how difficult it is for them to break unhealthy patterns of communication, and that they’re really trying, and that they really do love each other!! Also, Azula healing through connecting with Jin and with her therapist is The Good Shit. 🤌

Sokka being like, “you can wake me up to talk, or maybe we could ‘do an activity together’?” Call this pick-up line “the old reliable.” 🙄🤣

When I first read the teapot situation I gasped SO hard, then immediately went into problem-solving mode and was thinking they could do some real cute kintsugi family craft together. But I also totally get the important lesson Izumi needs to learn that being sorry doesn’t fix everything. Especially now, knowing your niece’s plant story.

Sokka better be Flynn Rider for Halloween!! Zuko would never live it down.

Katara: “I didn’t say it was smart, but it’s a possibility.”

Me: *sucks teeth* Yikes! Reading this man for filth when he’s not even here!! 🤣🤣

Social worker Aang makes so much sense and it’s a thing I never knew I needed in my life.

The “Haven’t you done enough for me? Aren’t you sick of this yet?” line got me SO BAD. Shattered into 1 million pieces. 💔❤️‍🩹

I LOVE that you had Hakoda be super real with him here about his grief because that normalizes the hell out of what Zuko’s going through.

This argument after Mai’s phone call!! 👀 HOLY SHIT!! This is some very productive conflict, they definitely needed to have this conversation about Sokka feeling shut out. I love the dialogue!!

The flashback to 17-year-old Zuko and the cannon dialogue. I’m fucking WRECKED over here!!

Big Oof. We’re really in it now aren’t we? Because the avoiding and distracting was good for him, honestly, until he was ready to really feel all this. But when he was ready to feel it all he freaked out and postponed it for a few weeks which led to all the shutting out, feeling confused, lots of shame and guilt, etc. Like DAMN how do you write like this???? I’m so impressed and emotional and blown-the-fuck-away by the way this story unfolded because it’s SO REAL!! People really do this!!

Broken heart-itis is a phrase I will be using as part of my daily lexicon, I want you to know this.

I LOVE that Uncle did his own therapeutic letter writing to Lu Ten. 😭😭 You got Uncle helping Zuko with his grief even still. ❤️

“but when that happens, when the grief comes hungry, he’ll feed it and keep going.” I want to have this quote in my social worker office, would you be cool with that? I definitely won’t if you don’t want me to. I’ve got a bunch of quotes in there and I point them out whenever I have a client who I think would need to hear it because sometimes words… *gestures vaguely* they do be hard. And this one… damn. It perfectly illustrates how to feel your painful emotions without shame and without spiraling into thinking you’ve lost all the progress you’ve made. Again, I’m just… blown-the-fuck-away by this.

Ok. I think that about covers everything I was thinking. I’m high-key sad that this story is wrapping up because it’s been so fucking good. Having these updates to look forward to have been Real Enough to Get Me Through this pandemic nonsense, for sure. As always, much love to you and I hope you’re well and healthy and that you did well on the COVID test. 💙

- your most voracious and vocal fan, 🦝

HELLO FRIEND <3 my long and rambling answer is under the read more because I also have a lot to say 😍😍

this made my night lol thank you for sharing these reactions!! at the end of the day I'm writing for myself but theres no way I would've made it to this point without kind people such as yourself sharing your excitement and encouraging me along!! so THANK YOU!!

the grey hair existential crisis was inspired by the grey thats recently started peppering through my own hair lol. this story only takes place within the span of a year, so I needed a way to keep showing the big picture of time passing and that seemed like a good way to introduce it. plus it ties in nicely later when Z is thinking about what S would look like when they get older :')

on Azula- even though shes in the background I still wanted to show that shes been on her own path too, and Z is definitely a big part of that. I think she looks up to him so much even though she hates to admit that. also i was DYING to finally throw in some jinzula and not just hint at it, so that was fun.

I'm so glad you liked the katara/aang/toph scene! it's always tough writing roundtable conversations like that because there are so many distinct voices/viewpoints to keep track of and I'm always afraid that it gets clunky or confusing. But it was important to me to show S opening up to them and taking their advice. I think he was probably getting in his head too much worrying about Z and he really needed that reset with help from his family and friends.

I almost cut that hakoda scene because for a while I couldn't quite figure out where to place it and how to force the two of them together and have Z in a mindset where he would even think to ask about it. Originally the frog scene was the same, but when Z started to spiral, he got up and left on his own to take a break, and ran into Hakoda in the house. but no matter how many times I tried to make that work I hated every outcome. I dont know why but that whole scene out of this entire chapter was the most challenging to push through and figure out. But I didnt want to cut the Hakoda conversation bc I really wanted Z to try to get someone else's perspective, and I wanted to show that he's still developing relationships with characters other than S. But speaking of S, I realized that scene was a good opportunity to show that he WAS paying attention and realized that Z needed help and wasnt about to ask for it himself, so he stepped in.

also OOF the argument scene. I actually loved writing that, despite the angst. I knew going into this chapter that it really needed some conflict, and that Z's internal wrestling wouldnt be enough. it needed to reach a point where he couldn't deny it anymore and they needed to communicate with words. it was cathartic to write and hopefully cathartic for you read

broken heart-itis was also inspired by my niece lol- shes a big fan of doc mcstuffins and once gave me a check-up for my "headache-itis" and told me to "drink iced coffee, take naps, and sleep good" 😂 I was like...okay yes ma'am

I almost cut out Irohs letter too😳 can you tell I get in my own head too much??? I really liked trying to write in his voice though so I’m glad I kept it!

ALSO- you are totally welcome to use the quote, I would be honored!!! that's so sweet and amazing! I used to have a bunch of quotes in my office at my old social work job too, they were so helpful on those days when my brain was just like, No. Not Today.

anyway, I hope you've enjoyed reading my rambling response, I really could talk about this story all day lol. Hopefully you're cool with all this behind-the-scenes talk!!

OH AND I saw your second ask too, that means a lot :) That scene with sokka+izumi is so special to me and I'm so happy that people liked it and still think of it!!! 💙💙💙

ANYWAY THANK YOU raccoon <3 you made me smile today!!!!

[wxnterxsxldier]

Kintsugi

Summary: After an encounter the Winter Soldier Y/N realizes that she’ll always be second best when it came to Peggy, she’d never be enough for Steve to love her alone. Little by little, crack by crack she begins to look elsewhere for love and she finds it....... in the Winter Soldier himself. The two fill the holes in their hearts with gold and make something beautiful from something broken.

Pairing: Steve x Reader eventual Bucky x Reader.

Chapter Warnings:Language, angst. Oh and NOT beta read since I have no friends.

Words: 1.2k

Note:I’d install Interactive Fics to change Y/N and L/N to the name(s) of your choice! It helps with the reading process I find. This fic features female pronouns. All flashbacks will be in italics and divided for ease and the song of the chapter is Does She Know? by Astrid S.

Y/N never anticipated to fall for Steve, it was never in her plans to talk to her mother about him for hours on end, with her older brother chiming in about Steve’s “Star Spangled Ding Dong.” 

She never expected to wake up in his muscular arms and feel his chin atop her head, inhaling her scent. His slightly chapped lips brushing against hers until the kisses become feverish and they get lost in each other under the warm sunrise. Their bodies painted shades of pink and gold, hair brightened in the daylight and eyes darkened with lust as you two move in harmony.

Y/N certainly never expected to love him so much and then slowly lose him to Peggy Carter one day at a time. Little by little, each instance breaking her heart a tiny bit more each time.

“You doin’ alright Kitten? You seem a million miles away?” Steve asks as he plants on Y/N’s cheek, pulling her from her thoughts. 

Instantly she plasters a smile on her face, the same one that made Steve’s heart skip a beat. He ‘s noticed that her don’t shine the same when he looks at her, they’ve been getting duller and duller as time went on, and he doesn’t know why. It hurt him to know that something was wrong and he couldn’t fix it, he’d ask but the answer was always the same, “I’m fine Honey, just tired is all.” With a smile on her beautiful face. Steve would only give her a false smile in return and leave to punch his frustrations away. 

Deep down Steve knew why this happened, what he did to cause a rift between them but he couldn’t face it so he pushed it down, so deep that when his world is crumbling down, he won’t know who’s to blame even though it’s his fault.

 “I’m fine Honey, just tired is all.” She replied with a smile, this time Steve only nodded and went on his way. When he was out of view Y/N's smile fell away and she was drawn back to her thoughts, the hollow feeling in her chest returns as her thoughts drifted back to when the feeling started.

After picking up Sitwell the five of them stopped for snacks, Y/N had gotten little churro bites and spent her time in the back seat eating them, occasionally handing ones to the other people in the car. Each time Steve was fed a churro bite he’d always say, “Thanks Kitten.” making Y/N blush and  the  cars other occupants groan at the couples antics even though they had been together for a year. Just as Y/N finishes giving Sitwell his third churro bite he was ripped from the vehicle.

“Holy shit, his ass flew!” She screeched, pulling a pistol from its holster. A S.H.I.E.L.D agent of two years Y/N L/N has garnered a reputation for being a great marksman, a very funny and thoughtful person as well as the maker of the best lasagna in the whole agency, a huge hit at the company potluck. The same gloved hand knocks the small bag of churro bites from Y/N’s hand as she moves to put them into her bag for later. 

“I know damn well this bitch didn’t just knock my $10 churro bites to the damn ground! SAM PULL THE FUCK OV-” Y/N never finishes as the steering-wheel is ripped from it’s rightful place.

“SHIT!” Sam yelled, Y/N and Natasha climbing to the front of the vehicle, weapons at the ready, shooting the top of the car.

The car swerves as Sam slams the brakes. The four of them climb out of the car to see a man dressed in all black, eyes lined with kohl as black as the night sky, making his blue eyes startlingly bright. His metal arm shines blindingly bright in the sunlight, the red star catching Y/N’s attention. 

“Well, well, well the one and only Winter Soldier. Ya know, I thought you’d be taller.” Y/N says with a smile, cocking her gun and firing at the man.

 He deflects the bullets as he rushes her, before he can reach her Steve pushed them both out of the way to safety. A clank made the two look for the source of the noise and Y/N could practically hear Steve’s heart stop.

 It was his compass, it laid a few feet away, wide open. The portrait of Peggy Carter staring them in the face. Y/N never minded Steve’s attachment to the compass and Peggy but what he did next struck Y/N to her very core. It was so very brief, but to Y/N it felt like it was a lifetime.

He let her go. 

Steve let Y/N go to hurriedly retrieve his compass and as Natasha and Sam kept the Winter Soldier at bay with their weapons. He brushed his thumb across her photo.

 Instead of protecting Y/N he protected Peggy, the woman who had moved on from him but he couldn’t move on from her.It was at that moment Y/N realized that she would never be enough, although she tried so very hard to be. She would never be Peggy Carter and Steve would never love her the way she loved him, the way he loved Peggy.

CRACK! 

The first break of many, the many breaks that would leave her big heart a shell of what it once was.

Y/N brings herself back and wipes the tears that have fallen down her face as she remembers where the hallowing of her heart began.

“I’ll never be enough, she had him from the start.” She cries softly, the moments crash together in a blur. 

 “I love you, only you.”  CRACK

 “I’ll always love her Y/N. But know that I love you more.”  CRACK

“Never got that dance.”  CRACK

“I love you so much Peggy!”  

SNAP!

“I’ll always be second best when it comes to Steve’s love, I refuse to stay someone’s second best.” She whispers, standing up and silently heading out of the compound with a bag in hand and not looking back until the moon was behind her. It was all going well...until she felt herself being grabbed, shot full of something and it all went black.

After what felt like forever the veil of darkness was lifted and there he stood. The man who although by accident, showed her the truth. James Buchanan Barnes: The Winter Soldier, standing above her with a bag of churros in his hand.

“H-hi. I’m Bucky, remember me?”

Here’s my very first chapter of Kintsugi, and my very first fic! I would like to thank @cake-writes​ , @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @feelmyroarrrr giving me tips and the courage to actually post something! I hope I did a good enough job.

[ravensandwritings]

and then i plotted out a fuckton of hero academia fic

What is setting up a timeline for fics to follow We Are Here:

Tailor Made - The first step to acceptance is adjusting your life to the new normal, instead of trying to cling to the old normal, or: Toshinori gets clothes that fit. Midnight and Present Mic assist,  while Eraserhead is busy with Eri in the hospital.

Churning The Earth - As provisional classes continue, specialized education branches off from general seminars as students focus on their individual weaknesses and failures with an instructor. How do you teach compassion to one who is set single-minded on victory? With Bakugo knowing his secret, the boy needs more lessons that don't involve combat, but demand respect, dignity and quiet. Or did Bakugo think bodies just cleaned themselves up when a hero fails? (Address that All Might, due to status, never really did this -- it was unseemly for him to be seen assisting, due to his symbol of peace-ness. How did that affect him, how does the guilt linger? How does this affect Bakugo? How is Nighteye's death still looming over All Might?) (Before cultural fair)

Needs Must, Needs Met - Mirio, still quirkless, is a bit adrift. He can't go back to his internship, and school has him on leave. Toshinori, however, has his own ideas. When his needs can also help Mirio meet his own, they get a strange internship between two people who need to find new ways to be heroic. (The Ghost of Nighteye overshadows both of them, and perhaps this bargain will appease his his restless spirit.) (Immediately after Cultural Fair.)

Gravedust - At some point, All Might has to address that he never fixed things with Nighteye. That he could, perhaps, found a way to compromise. Approached him. Apologized. But that time is gone. There are now two graves to tend to in Toshinori's life.

The Ducklings - Taking cues from what they see from the educators, class 1-A start to follow suit in checking in on their teacher's well being. While well-intended, sometimes it can go to far. How can he lead them to great heights if they're busy propping him up?  

A Certain Lack - Featuring Gray-Ace Bi Might and gay as hell Eraserhead. How do you figure out how you feel about someone, when you've had this kind of feeling for a person maybe five times in your five decades? It's not that you haven't had sex -- you happily served other's needs as part of the line of duty. But what about your needs, when they suddenly arise? Do you really need or want it? Isn't it a complication? And what if these feelings are useless, lacking any reciprocation? He's not some twitterpaited schoolboy! But yet... but yet. (Slooooooooow buuuuuuuurnnnnnnnnnn.)

Unexpected Alliance - Between saving the world, each other, and and working toward becoming better heroes as Shinso also tries to join the Hero Course, something comes up in the course of his training: information about All Might that leads him to believe that he's totally got it for the homeroom teacher for 1-A. Who the hell does he take this information, other than Midoriya? But where Midoriya and All Might are involved, Bakugo is sure to follow.  Plans involving kittens, vulnerability, confidence boosters and a healthy dose of teenage meddling ensue. As more of class 1-A get involved, the more risky everything gets. Can they help out their idiot teachers? Can anybody? (Or, Class 1-A does the parent trap.)

Sharing Sleepless Space - Eri's an adorable bundle of PTSD, just like most of her caretakers. With both Eraserhead and All Might living in the teacher's wing with Eri, they take turns handing her off, sleeping in shifts when the nights are bad. Then they just start staying up together, because Toshinori is still a born entertainer-- and his bedtime stories are literally the things of legends.  Sleeping in heaps may ensue, which is good - Shinso and friends didn't work this hard to get those two to relax around each other to not recognized they're totally married already.

Kintsugi - Hot hot hot erasermight, scar acceptance, the body, even flawed, as beautiful. Dealing with body dysphoria and intimacy, All Might can't really fathom becoming intimate again with literally anyone. He still thinks of this body as alien, even if he's now stuck living in it full time.

THINGS WILL PROBABLY BE ADDED AS CANON APPEARS because that's just how i roll.

(And apparently @aerialsquid may either be writing or co-writing some of these bits so who knew, right?)

Stories that may relate or stand on their own?

Learning to Teach - Vigilante-era Aizawa has to deal with the fact that Midnight's not wrong, and his work with the vigilante's has been educational itself. Possibly guest-star of emotionally Wholesome Ingenium / Iida Tensei? Because he needs more pre-Stain love.

What Comes Next - When All Might and Eraserhead have to meet with Iida Tenya's parents, the conversation is very predictable. However, the request from Iida Tensei is not.

Grumpy Old Men - Look someone needs to write rarepair All Might/Knuckleduster, and I am more than willing to take that bullet.

Still nebulous: I want something to do with Nighteye and maybe some grief processing. Obon festival? Two graves to clean?

The Cycle of the Lotus - The lotus is a symbol of rebirth: it draws down beneath the muck every right, only to have its flower push back under the sun, waxy petals making it resistant to sticky mud or algae. Toshinori's got his own lotus blazoned on his side, but he's been down under the muck for far too long. What can get him to rise again? The Symbol of Peace needs a symbol of hope, and in what form does it arrive? Deku-and-Dadmight central? PTSD related probably? FIGURE THIS OUT. (This one's so amorphous still.)

Everything is going to spin off post-Nighteye's death, with some stuff potentially being earlier, Kamino-time stuff, and it will be a loose series of single story pieces? Maybe? Basically it looks like my brain is gearing up to have stuff between Massive Babydaddy Riddler chapters for Sins of the Father, and I'm okay with that. Let there be a cleanser, especially since that first Going Citizen story is, well, 2-3 chapters away from finish. (three years, novel length. Holy shit guys.)

[geminijackdaw]

Hey all, so. I find myself in a weird predicament, because I had two minor announcements I had to write on here, and uh. It was only when I went to write them that I realized that factoids a and b might not play well together 

I’m probably going to be pretty inactive from now until the end of December.  I’m in midterm season, and I just... completely wasted my reading week. I had such noble plans! I was going to really buckle down, and grind, and get myself a comfortable week ahead in terms of coursework. I’d be able to ask questions, polish up assignments instead of scrambling to finish them, actually help my classmates instead of being that dumbass asking questions in the group chat at the 11th hour... you can guess how that went OTL 

I’m not saying it was BECAUSE of writing, but that is absolutely the thing I was doing instead of the stuff I wanted to avoid. This time of year there’s events, and whumptober, and inktober, and halloween stuff, and NaNo is around the corner, and I just can’t. If I can do well for the next few months I’ll be on work placement through school until next september. That means a normal, 9-5 (or something like it) job *w* for the first time in my life. I’ll have evenings! and a predictable schedule! which will hopefully mean more time and energy for writing! 

But I have to get there first, and not blow it in the home stretch. 

I wanted to post something for whumptober (my Six stenence sunday from last week was from that AU, and maybe I’ll post six lines of what I got written today)  but I was treating like fun fandom challenge deadlines like actual deadlines and the stuff I needed to, but didn’t want to do, was getting neglected. I was going to try and get another 50k into UF for NaNo this year, and I just have to. not. do that OTL 

Like, honestly, it feels a little conceited to think that anyone would even notice if I took a little hiatus. I know I am a very small fish in this great big fandom pond. 

Unfortunately, that leaves me with my second problem. 

I’ve been feeling... not great, recently? In an emotional kind of a sense? tl;dr, I had a huge selfpitying TMI dump below that can be summed up as: going to see doctor on Wednesday about starting some medication again.

The time that I was ON said medication coincides directly that any of you here from Kintsugi from FF.net will remember as the point where I uh. Just stopped writing for about two years. Obviously, something was wrong if I just... didn’t feel like doing anything that I used to enjoy. I’m going to mention that to her, hopefully something different or a different dosage might be better. 

I feel like I need to say at this point that like. Please nobody take this as a reason NOT to take medication. PLENTY of artists are happier, more confident, and MORE productive while managing their mental wellbeing using medication. Gosh, can you imagine? Me NOT paralyzed by indecision and a crippling need for validation? I might actually get things done, holy shit. (Read stuff by authors I love and ENJOY THEM without also having to go be in the fetal position for a while dealing with self-loathing and creative envy and feelings of total worthlessness!) That’s the goal, anyway! This could make me a much BETTER writer, or at least one who’s happier with what she does. 

And I was like, yeah! I’m going to try and keep track of how much I write! to make sure that this isn’t putting me into ‘nah I’m cool just being a potato who sits here and just exists and not in the cool zen kind of a way’ mode again. Maybe set aside a bit of time every day! I can set challenges for myself! Do events! And prompts!.... 

.... which brings me back to point 1. 

I don’t know what to do. 

Maybe things will work out great, and I’ll be able to keep to a little timed writing break better if my goddamn brain is all stocked up on all the shit it needs to be, and point 2 will take care of point 1. 

Anyway. I’ll um. I’ll keep you posted.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

oh hell yeah, anon time babyyyy. i don't have a tumblr but now i can let you know how obsessed i am with your writing! you've gotten me into reading marvel fic too, purely cause i was like "damn i need more of polysyndeton's writing, guess i'll read kintsugi" and got way too into it immediately. it's always brilliant and i'm honestly so impressed at the quality, especially considering how often you update??? like, how can you write so much and it be so good. gonna assume you've made a demon pact

i tried to sell my soul to a demon but the best offer i got was for thirty seven cents and a stale taquito so i decided it wasn't worth the whole "head spinning speaking in ancient babylonian floating" bit

yayyyyy im so glad you like kintsugi. i have a special place in my heart for that story. i loveeee peter parker as spider-man, he's my favorite superhero, i love the approach he brings to it and the construct of his character and i really love that he straight up was like "i technically am still supposed to ask for parental permission before going onto club penguin.com but also lets fight crime In The Night," but i also really wanted someone to just be like "why is he fucking twelve. no really why is he like an infant. who is this sassy flippy child. where are his parents." and just. immediately rat him out. without 0 hesitation.

there's like, a tendency in fics to have the hero or vigilante or whatever who found him out like, not tell aunt may on him? which like, i totally get, because it's completely not conducive to the story to the point where i, myself, had to finagle my way out of aunt may being told by having peter hold his own safety hostage. I also have varying head canons as to whether or not the hero/vigilante in question would actually rat peter out, because i think there are some who would be like "bye boy" and rat him out and some who would actually keep his secret, even from may. Out of all my headcanons, frank castle was the one i was like "absolutely would tell aunt may 12/10, holy shit he would rat peter out so fast that you'd think he developed superspeed to do it," and kintsugi was born.

It was honestly a little bit of an indulgent, niche interest fic for me? i wasn't sure anyone would really like it, since frank castle and peter parker never cross paths on the big screen and it's more "frank and peter are trapped together by their own ultimatums and are forced through emotional conversations by sheer proximity" than like, plot-heavy action. Which makes me so, sooo glad you like it!! thank you for your kind words, they made my day

[droewyn]

Give Me a Reason (4/9)

<Part 1>     <Part 2>     <Part 3>

November, 2013

The boy on the ice was new to the Grand Prix series, and it was clear that he wouldn’t be advancing to the final.  His triples were shaky and he wasn’t even attempting a quad.  Not that quads were required, Victor reminded himself.  Just last year he’d taken them out of his programs at Euros on a dare and had still won by a comfortable margin, purely on the strength of a clean skate and high PCS marks.  Yakov had been apoplectic, of course, and had forbidden him from pulling such a stunt at Worlds, but it had honestly been the most fun Victor had had at a competition in years.

The boy – Chulanont, from Thailand – was fun to watch, though.  He danced his program with a cheerfulness that was infectious, and he had the audience clapping along to the music within moments.  A popped triple axel and a two-footed landing on a triple-double combination didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest, though Victor knew he had to be disappointed.  But Chulanont’s spins were solid, and his steps…

Who does that step sequence remind me of, he wondered.  A flash of blue and silver teased at Victor’s memory, crowned in a mop of dark hair.  Oh yes, that Japanese skater. Yuuki something?  Yoshi?  I wonder if Chulanont is his fan.  It bothered him, a little, not to be able to remember the man’s name.  Victor had it written down somewhere in one of his notebooks – he still researched all of the skaters that he shared ice with, Yakov having drilled respect for his competitors into him at an early age – but he didn’t used to need the physical notes the way he did now.  When had the names and faces all started to blur?  I really must be getting old, Victor thought dismally.

Chulanont ended on a slide, his arms outstretched.  He was all smiles as he took his bows, but his eyes gleamed in a way that almost made Victor smile.  He’s determined.  Good.  He’ll take this experience and grow from it.

Victor zoned out during the scoring, already knowing how he’d be judged.  Chulanont had been the last to skate the short program, and he wasn’t close to challenging Georgi’s first place standing.  Georgi’s own skate had been the cleanest Victor had ever seen it, and if he was able to carry that energy over into the free skate they’d be in the Final together for sure, Victor already having secured his own place with a pair of easy golds in Skate Canada and NHK.

Yakov found Victor still sitting in the stands as the crowd was thinning.  “You’re joining us for dinner?” the old coach rumbled.  It was barely a question.  He frowned as Victor shook his head.

“Tonight is Gosha’s, and if I go I’ll just draw attention away from him.”  He sighed with just the right amount of rueful, “what can you do?” disappointment in it.  “I’ll hide in my room and let him enjoy his well-earned spotlight.  Think of me when I’m scrounging scraps from vending machines?”

“Running up the room service bill outrageously, you mean.”  But Yakov’s face had softened into something like fondness.  “It’s true that the fans and the press tend to focus on you whether you skate or not,” he said finally, and Victor knew that he’d won.

It wasn’t that Victor didn’t want to give Georgi the opportunity to shine on his own – of course he did, Gosha had more than earned it – but the real truth was far more selfish. If he went to dinner and someone recognized him – and in Moscow, during Rostelecom, the chances of that happening were pretty damn high – they weren’t just going to ignore Georgi.  They would want, no, insist that he be Living Legend Victor Nikiforov for them, Russia’s Golden God, St. Petersburg’s Hope—

—Victor the Oft Photoshopped, He Whose Shit Is Not Allowed to Stink, Whose Hair Is Discussed More Than His Skating, Subject of Seven Hundred RPF Smut Fics and Supposedly Beloved by All but Actually Having Only a Single (Admittedly Really Great) Dog to Love—

—and he just didn’t want to be that mask.  Not tonight. Not when he didn’t have to be.  Victor the dancing monkey thinks that Victor the Living Legend is an asshole, and just for tonight the dancing monkey is on strike.

Yakov was probably right about the room service bill.

 * Joined channel #therapycouchfort

* Topic is ‘Tomb Raider: Best portrayal of PTSD in a video game ever, or ONLY portrayal of PTSD in a video game ever?  Discuss.’

* Set by StevenMultiverse on Nov 21 19:11:58 2013

suicideflirtsback: holy shit mercy are you okay

iamworthy: *hugs*

mercyslovechild: im ok

mercyslovechild: i guess

KingElsa: What happened?

mercyslovechild: its just

lukewarm_mess: mercy’s parents got CPS called on them

KingElsa: ?

mercyslovechild: tried to tell them once bfore and they blew me off

iamworthy: Child Protective Services, King.

mercyslovechild: they asked if i cut an it was like they stoppd listenning after i said no

/msg lukewarm_mess I don’t understand.

/msg lukewarm_mess Did Mercy’s parents hurt her?

mercyslovechild: now there all sad and ilu and what can we do to help

*lukewarm_mess>> no but she hurts herself and a teacher noticed she was hiding bruises

mercyslovechild: i hate it

iamworthy: At least you’re into therapy now though, right?

/msg lukewarm_mess !!!

mercyslovechild: like, u cant be bothered to give a rats ass until someone else thinks your a bad parent

mercyslovechild: yea but

mercyslovechild: they keep asking if im bullied at school or have bad relationshisp and i dont

mercyslovechild: theres no reason for me to feel this way

mercyslovechild: im just fuckn broken

KingElsa: Mercy.  You are not broken.

suicideflirtsback: ^^^^^^^^

iamworthy: *hugs mercy tight* What King said.

mercyslovechild: yes i am

KingElsa: Am I broken?  Is Iam?  Is Mess? Is Socks?

mercyslovechild: no

lukewarm_mess: so what if you are?

mercyslovechild: but

suicideflirtsback: holy shit mess that’s cold

mercyslovechild: u all have real problems and real illnesses w like diagnoces n stuff that u need help for

lukewarm_mess: broken DOESN’T mean garbage

KingElsa: I don’t.

mercyslovechild: im just some stupid kid crying over nothing

lukewarm_mess: https://www.google.com/search?q=kintsugi&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjz6PXqzJvWAhVj3IMKHbLMBhsQ_AUICigB&biw=1094&bih=626

lukewarm_mess: we fix broken things

lukewarm_mess: we glue them together with gold so everyone can see the scars

KingElsa: I don’t have a diagnosis.

lukewarm_mess: they’re stronger and more beautiful after

lukewarm_mess: more valuable

lukewarm_mess: and more worthy of love

iamworthy: King?

KingElsa: I’ve… never seen anyone.

KingElsa: You’re the only people I’ve ever talked to about this kind of thing.

*lukewarm_mess>> !

mercyslovechild: why

KingElsa: I don’t know, lots of reasons?

*lukewarm_mess>> you havent talked to anyone irl??

KingElsa: But they all kind of boil down to I’m scared.

/msg lukewarm_mess I can’t… I’m under a ton of scrutiny at work…

/msg lukewarm_mess Lots of people hoping for the guy on the top to fall.  If I show weakness…

KingElsa: So if you’re broken what does that make me?  You’re at least trying to reach out for help.

mercyslovechild: …

*lukewarm_mess>> family?  someone else you’re close to?

/msg lukewarm_mess Why Mess, trying to find out if I’m single?

*lukewarm_mess>> not funny

mercyslovechild: i

mercyslovechild: i think i like that pottery thing mess

mercyslovechild: i think i like it alot

/msg lukewarm_mess I am not on speaking terms with my family.

lukewarm_mess: i’m glad, mercy <3

/msg lukewarm_mess For the rest…. I’m kind of married to my work.

lukewarm_mess: we broken people have to stick together

*lukewarm_mess>> +1 313-XXX-XXXX

/msg lukewarm_mess ?!?

*lukewarm_mess>> okay i HATE talking on the phone

*lukewarm_mess>> it’s one of my anxiety triggers

*lukewarm_mess>> but

*lukewarm_mess>> you could text me sometime?  if you want to?

*lukewarm_mess>> and maybe if it’s an emergency you could call

*lukewarm_mess>> if there’s really nobody else

/msg lukewarm_mess I

/msg lukewarm_mess Wow

/msg lukewarm_mess You trust me that much?

*lukewarm_mess>> i just want to know you have someone to reach out to

/msg lukewarm_mess (•̩̩̩́ ᴗ •̩̩̩̀)

/msg lukewarm_mess Thank you.  I don’t know what else to say.

*lukewarm_mess>> say you’ll use it if you need to

/msg lukewarm_mess I will.  I promise.

mercyslovechild: yea i guess we do ^^

<Part 5>