#also yes!! my covid test was negative so im in the clear (for now) but thank you!!!

[marriedzukka]

Hey there!! 🦝 💙 I’m back, as promised.

Buckle up! I got a lot of thoughts and feelings and I’m here to express ‘em:

There are some things that need to be processed in safe connection with another person. So it makes sense that now Zuko has both a safe connection, as well as having someone else helping with the day-to-day with Izumi, that there’s finally space to process all the grief. But, of course, the guy is gonna repress that shit as long as he can. That’s on brand.

Oh no, the grey hair existential crisis!! Just dye your hair purple and pretend you’re still young. Not that I’m speaking from experience. Not me. Nope. 👀

I mean, I totally get Azula being anxious about how fast they’re moving. I love how you show how difficult it is for them to break unhealthy patterns of communication, and that they’re really trying, and that they really do love each other!! Also, Azula healing through connecting with Jin and with her therapist is The Good Shit. 🤌

Sokka being like, “you can wake me up to talk, or maybe we could ‘do an activity together’?” Call this pick-up line “the old reliable.” 🙄🤣

When I first read the teapot situation I gasped SO hard, then immediately went into problem-solving mode and was thinking they could do some real cute kintsugi family craft together. But I also totally get the important lesson Izumi needs to learn that being sorry doesn’t fix everything. Especially now, knowing your niece’s plant story.

Sokka better be Flynn Rider for Halloween!! Zuko would never live it down.

Katara: “I didn’t say it was smart, but it’s a possibility.”

Me: *sucks teeth* Yikes! Reading this man for filth when he’s not even here!! 🤣🤣

Social worker Aang makes so much sense and it’s a thing I never knew I needed in my life.

The “Haven’t you done enough for me? Aren’t you sick of this yet?” line got me SO BAD. Shattered into 1 million pieces. 💔❤️‍🩹

I LOVE that you had Hakoda be super real with him here about his grief because that normalizes the hell out of what Zuko’s going through.

This argument after Mai’s phone call!! 👀 HOLY SHIT!! This is some very productive conflict, they definitely needed to have this conversation about Sokka feeling shut out. I love the dialogue!!

The flashback to 17-year-old Zuko and the cannon dialogue. I’m fucking WRECKED over here!!

Big Oof. We’re really in it now aren’t we? Because the avoiding and distracting was good for him, honestly, until he was ready to really feel all this. But when he was ready to feel it all he freaked out and postponed it for a few weeks which led to all the shutting out, feeling confused, lots of shame and guilt, etc. Like DAMN how do you write like this???? I’m so impressed and emotional and blown-the-fuck-away by the way this story unfolded because it’s SO REAL!! People really do this!!

Broken heart-itis is a phrase I will be using as part of my daily lexicon, I want you to know this.

I LOVE that Uncle did his own therapeutic letter writing to Lu Ten. 😭😭 You got Uncle helping Zuko with his grief even still. ❤️

“but when that happens, when the grief comes hungry, he’ll feed it and keep going.” I want to have this quote in my social worker office, would you be cool with that? I definitely won’t if you don’t want me to. I’ve got a bunch of quotes in there and I point them out whenever I have a client who I think would need to hear it because sometimes words… *gestures vaguely* they do be hard. And this one… damn. It perfectly illustrates how to feel your painful emotions without shame and without spiraling into thinking you’ve lost all the progress you’ve made. Again, I’m just… blown-the-fuck-away by this.

Ok. I think that about covers everything I was thinking. I’m high-key sad that this story is wrapping up because it’s been so fucking good. Having these updates to look forward to have been Real Enough to Get Me Through this pandemic nonsense, for sure. As always, much love to you and I hope you’re well and healthy and that you did well on the COVID test. 💙

- your most voracious and vocal fan, 🦝

HELLO FRIEND <3 my long and rambling answer is under the read more because I also have a lot to say 😍😍

this made my night lol thank you for sharing these reactions!! at the end of the day I'm writing for myself but theres no way I would've made it to this point without kind people such as yourself sharing your excitement and encouraging me along!! so THANK YOU!!

the grey hair existential crisis was inspired by the grey thats recently started peppering through my own hair lol. this story only takes place within the span of a year, so I needed a way to keep showing the big picture of time passing and that seemed like a good way to introduce it. plus it ties in nicely later when Z is thinking about what S would look like when they get older :')

on Azula- even though shes in the background I still wanted to show that shes been on her own path too, and Z is definitely a big part of that. I think she looks up to him so much even though she hates to admit that. also i was DYING to finally throw in some jinzula and not just hint at it, so that was fun.

I'm so glad you liked the katara/aang/toph scene! it's always tough writing roundtable conversations like that because there are so many distinct voices/viewpoints to keep track of and I'm always afraid that it gets clunky or confusing. But it was important to me to show S opening up to them and taking their advice. I think he was probably getting in his head too much worrying about Z and he really needed that reset with help from his family and friends.

I almost cut that hakoda scene because for a while I couldn't quite figure out where to place it and how to force the two of them together and have Z in a mindset where he would even think to ask about it. Originally the frog scene was the same, but when Z started to spiral, he got up and left on his own to take a break, and ran into Hakoda in the house. but no matter how many times I tried to make that work I hated every outcome. I dont know why but that whole scene out of this entire chapter was the most challenging to push through and figure out. But I didnt want to cut the Hakoda conversation bc I really wanted Z to try to get someone else's perspective, and I wanted to show that he's still developing relationships with characters other than S. But speaking of S, I realized that scene was a good opportunity to show that he WAS paying attention and realized that Z needed help and wasnt about to ask for it himself, so he stepped in.

also OOF the argument scene. I actually loved writing that, despite the angst. I knew going into this chapter that it really needed some conflict, and that Z's internal wrestling wouldnt be enough. it needed to reach a point where he couldn't deny it anymore and they needed to communicate with words. it was cathartic to write and hopefully cathartic for you read

broken heart-itis was also inspired by my niece lol- shes a big fan of doc mcstuffins and once gave me a check-up for my "headache-itis" and told me to "drink iced coffee, take naps, and sleep good" 😂 I was like...okay yes ma'am

I almost cut out Irohs letter too😳 can you tell I get in my own head too much??? I really liked trying to write in his voice though so I’m glad I kept it!

ALSO- you are totally welcome to use the quote, I would be honored!!! that's so sweet and amazing! I used to have a bunch of quotes in my office at my old social work job too, they were so helpful on those days when my brain was just like, No. Not Today.

anyway, I hope you've enjoyed reading my rambling response, I really could talk about this story all day lol. Hopefully you're cool with all this behind-the-scenes talk!!

OH AND I saw your second ask too, that means a lot :) That scene with sokka+izumi is so special to me and I'm so happy that people liked it and still think of it!!! 💙💙💙

ANYWAY THANK YOU raccoon <3 you made me smile today!!!!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 31 - All members of this band caught Covid-19.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression.

Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. So, today, we have a guest. Please introduce yourself.

Y: Nice to meet you, Im YG, the bassist of Jack Caper.

J: Wow, thats an impressive...

K: He stands out, right? I think everyone took notice as soon as he appeared on screen.

J: Right, he looks different from anyone else.

K: Yeh, like 'Eh?!'. Well to begin with, the headcount is different .

J: Yeh, its different. The extra one is this head.

T: *To Y* Have you always had this haircut?

Y: Yeh, well, since summer started. I decided on it this summer.

J: Why that hairstyle again?

Y: Well, I wanted it to feel cool (*as in breezy*)

Kami: It does look cool, right?

J: Hahaha.

K: He said it does look cool, haha.

J: It got a reaction from Kami. He said it looks cool.

Kami: Ah, Im Kami-sama. Pleased to meet you.

Y: Pleased to meet you Kami-sama.

J: He's not a very impressive god.

K: Yeh, exactly. haha.

J: He's one of the lower ones.

Kami: Im really not such an impressive god. I really can't do anything.

J: He gets ¥1000 p/h 

K: Ok, so as to why he is joining us today, his whole band caught coronavirus. So, I thought we could talk about what it was like.

J: This will be a valuable testimony.

Kami: Its a world first, right?

Y: Yeah, its the first case in the world of the whole band catching it.

J: Unbelievable, its not like you could apply to Guiness, but...

K: Yeah, this won't be a Guiness record, haha.

Y: I'll be happy if its recoded as ???*1

J: So how did you all catch it?

Y: Well, its not exactly clear, but it started with our vocalist, and we think that was probably from within a live venue somewhere. And after the vocalist, the other members were tested one after the other, and we were all positive. So we all recieved treatment.

T: Was this in August?

Y: Yeh, August, the vocalist first displayed symptoms on the 13th. And one by one the other members did after that. I was the last, I got symptoms on the 16th.

J: I also know some people who have been infected.

K: I was shocked, right? haha

J: No, not me! A few people I know...but I've forgotten what they said about it, so, could you tell us what happens after you test positive?

Y:  So, you get a positive result, and then in my case, I was hospitalised.

J: Oh, hospitalisation?

Y: Yeh. Well, its probably different depending on the district..districts with free hospital space, or districts with free hotel space. I think there are even districts with no hospital or hotel space free. But I was just straightforwardly hospitalised, within the same day.

T: So, did you have a fever or a cough or anything?

Y: In my case, I had a cough first, and I developed a fever of 38.3℃ on the same day I was tested, just after i did the test. I got the positive test results two days later, and was hospitalised with those symptoms.

J: In what way was it different from a regular cold? What was hard about it?

Y: Well, it was mainly like influenza...high fever, cough, weariness...Also, its often said that you experience loss of taste. I didn't have that, but the other members did.

T: Like loss of smell or taste?

Y: Yeh

K: But you get that a bit anyway when you catch a regular cold, right?

J: Well, yeah, you do. And if you get a fever, you  can't move around much anyway, but.. all the members had this?

Y: Yeah.

J: What was it like in hospital?

Y: Well, in my case, I was in a room with one other patient. We weren't allowed to leave the room, except for shower and toilet.

T: Did you speak much to the other patient?

Y: We didn't speak at all!

J: Was it another corona patient?

Y: Yeh, his symptoms appeared so.

J: Ehh, no conversation?

T: Wasn't it tough?

Y: Well, honestly, I was only thinking about how I wanted to go home. That was pretty tough...the stress..

Kami: How many of you were hospitalised?'

Y: My symptoms were kinda moderate..

Kami: No, no, how many of you?

Y: Out of us five, only I was hospitalised.

J: Only you in hospital?

Y: Yeah.

J: Were the other members in hotels?

Y: Um, two were in hotels and two were at home.

J: So, how did you end up getting discharged?

Y: As for the flow, I had a PCR test every two days in hospital, and after I got two negative results in a row, I left hospital.

J: So its like, if the tests are fine, they say, 'Ok you are free to go'? You didn't have to do anything after that?

Y: Not really, no. They just requested me not to be in close contact with people for two weeks.

J: Just 'requested'?

Y: Yeah, nothing stricter than that from the hospital.

Kami: Eh? After leaving hospital?

Y: Yeh, after being discharged.

Kami: Eh? Even after two negative tests you were told not to have close contact with people?

Y: Yeah, just in case. But as for work, I could restart as long as I kept to this advice.

Kami: You could restart work? As soon as you were discharged?

Y: Yeh, they said that was ok.

Kami: But they asked you not to come into contact with people?

Y: Yeah, they said to limit direct contact with people.

Kami: That seems pretty difficult.

J: Yeh, it does. It would have been easier if they just told you don't meet people.

Kami: After getting a negative test result, and being told you can restart work, you can't be in close contact with people? It seems pretty difficult to understand.

Y: I think they meant like normal situations, like this...like, don't stand near people to talk to them and stuff. Or, refrain from going out to eat with peope, and stuff.

T: How long were you hospitalised for?

Y: 14 days in total.

K: Ahh, two weeks, thats tough.

T: How did you feel when you were given the all clear to leave?

Y: It sounds funny to say, but it was like coming out of jail. Like, 'Back to reality!'

K: Were you charged hospitalization fees?

Y: Not for the first ten days after symptoms appear, but I had to pay after that.

J: So out of 14 days, you had to pay for 4 days yourself?

Y: Well, I was hospitalised a few days after my symptoms began, so I paid for the last 7 days.

J: It seems kind of a unsatisfactory, if you are forced into hospitalization.

K: Well, isn't it the same with any illness?

J: Well, yeah.

K: Like, it can't be helped.

J: Well, yeh, if you are hospitalized with a cold you'd have to pay. Have you had any lingering symptoms?

Y: Out of all five, there is still one of us with no sense of smell.

T: Even after a month?

Y: Yeah, still one with no smell.

K: Thats pretty scary.

Y: I asked just now on Line, and he said he still couldn't smell.

J: Not at all?

Y: Like, recently we all tried smelling our drinks, and he was the only one who couldn't.

J: Are there any parts of it that you were dissatisfied with, or any parts that you thought were handled really well?

Y: Like, inside the hospital?

J: Yeh. Its probably ok for you to summarize what its like in Tokyo, right? Which area were you in?

Y: Arakawa ward.

J: Is there anything you thought they could have done better?

Y: I was grateful that the process leading up to hospitalization was so smooth. They sent a car to my house and stuff. They were really prioritizing me staying away from other people.  And even in the hospital, the nurses and doctors really looked after me.

J: Conversely, was there anything troubling about it?

Y: Yeh, some people were being discharged before they had two negative test results. The government covers the fees for the first ten days as I said, and you have to stay in hospital for at least that time, but after that staying is optional. I stayed and paid for it, even though it was optional. I think it would be better if the state paid for it until a negative test result happens.

J: So there was quite a lot of people leaving before they had a negative test result, for financial reasons, right?

Y: Yeah, for financial reasons.

J: So, that might end up being a reason why the virus spreads more.

Y: It might be, yeh.

J: That kinda leaves a bad taste...

Kami: How much did you pay in fees?

Y: For me it was ¥30,000 per day.

J, T: Eh!?

Y: Thats with insurance.

T, J: ¥30,000 with insurance?

Kami: So, how much did you actually pay?

Y: After that, I got the bill, and it was less than that, so I was relieved.

T: Ah, you paid for seven days?

Y: Yeh. So in total...at first they said it would be ¥30,000 per day, but I got the bill afterwards, and it was about ¥155000.

J: Oh, not bad, right?

Y: Yeah, its not bad.

Kami: So you paid ¥150,000? Im struggling to understand, could you explain again?

J: He likes talking about money, haha.

Kami: How much did you pay?

Y: I paid ¥150,000, actually ¥155,000.

J: Thats with insurance, right?

Kami: Out of pocket?

Y: With insurance, yeh.

Kami: And how many days was that for?

Y: Umm, seven days.

Kami: I though it was only from after ten days?

K: Ten days from the start of symptoms. After that it costs you.

Kami: Oh, is that it? So you paid for seven days.

Y: Yes, I paid for the optional longer stay.

K: This was already explained earlier.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: It was, right?

Kami: Eeehhh?

T: There should be some way to get it back in taxes, it may be a good idea to check.

Y: Thats what I'll have to sort out from now.

J: I think this is a problem. It sounds strange to say it, but in terms of income, low earners have a higher chance of being infected than higher earners. Naturally, rich people won't be getting on packed trains everyday, they will be going to crowded places far less, it some how ends up like that. But if you pass that ten days, and have to pay out of pocket, there will be people who can't. Its like, how is this gonna go? There will be people who don't have the money, and just decide to go home.

K: Yeah, there will be.

T: When corona first started it had this image that it was life threatening, right? But once people actually catch it, their impression might change to it not being that bad. What did you think?

Y: Yeah, when I caught it, I thought it wasn't as bad as I expected.

※On screen note: Symptoms differ depending on the person※

Y: It was like influenza.

J: What kind of reactions did you get from people around you? Were they worried about you? Or were they trying to stigmatize you?

Y: There were both. I had some messages from people in my home town who I barely spoke to before asking me if I was ok, and some derogatory messages from people I don't know.

K: Well, the way the media has dealt with this issue from the start, had been to blame people going out drinking, or enjoying entertainment, thats the image. Its not the case all of the time. But you think you picked it up from a live  event or something?

Y: Yeah.

K: So live shows have that kind of image too. But we don't really know where its originally coming from.

J: Well, as long as infections keep rising, we won't be able to trace it in real detail. Have you had any detailed explanation about that?

Y: I just had a phone call after our vocalist tested positive. The members were then recommended to get tested, and arrangments were made for that.

J: Were you asked about your recent activity?

Y: Yeh, what I did on which day etc. And my temperature at the time.

J: I see. So, at the moment they are saying you will have anti-bodies if you've caught it once, but there have also been reports that the anti-bodies might not last very long. What do you think about that? Have you had an anti-body test?

Y: About a month after all of us got symptoms  and when we were all close to total recovery, we had the opportunity to do a broadcast, and we all did an antibody test at that time.

J: And the results?

Y: The results were that one of us didn't have a lot of antibodies, but the other four did. That was about August 16th *2

J: So its been about three weeks since then. Are you gonna continue to have antibody tests from time to time?

Y: Well, I don't have plans to at the moment, but its a good idea.

T: What kind of talks have you had about how to contine band activity?

Y: Well, forward looking, focusing on putting out material. We've already re-started live shows, so we'll be putting our energy into that.

K: Oh, you've started lives?

Y: Yeah.

K: Well, if your band has antibodies, its easier to move.

Y: Yeah, its safer.

J: Now is the safest time.

K: Right.

J: In relation to corona, its the safest time.

K: People who have antibodies could all do a live?

Y: Ah, us too. Thats interesting.

K: ???? *3

J: But infection numbers are culminating in Japan, so if you think about it, its kinda of the reverse idea.

K: Hm, but if you really think about it, the numbers are still small.

J: How about that? As a band, do you wanna try it?

Y: Yeah, I do. If it was a success, it might help return the music scene to normal.

K: Well, we have to keep moving, little by little, otherwise nothing will start.

J: Yeh, thats it.

K: If we don't try, we too will be always waiting. If there's any chance to get moving, I want to take it. So if these guys can get moving even a little, I can kinda begin to see the light. So, do your best.

T: It puts out a good message, right?

K: Yeah. Ok, well, lets end here. Thank you very much for today.

Y: Thank you.

K: Please subscribe.

T: And check out Jack Caper!

*2 Dates right??

*1, 3 Couldn't catch