#then he proceeded to buy us tickets for transformers

[avoiltaire]

GO MILES!!

[mcheang]

Marinette and the chocolate factory

Willy Wonka is finally opening his factory, allowing only 5 children from Paris to enter.

By using a large chunk of her savings to buy several crates, Alya gets to go to the factory and record it for her blog…until she reads the terms and conditions that forbid her taking photos or videos.

Adrien was the next lucky winner…until his father refused to allow him to enter the domain of a recluse candy maker where Adrien will no doubt try to wreck his model diet. So he gives the ticket to Lila instead, who is thrilled about her interview.

Chloe gets her ticket after her father buys a large chunk of chocolate bars and orders all his staff to unwrap them.

Surprisingly, Felix is the next winner. He had calculated which chocolate bar the next ticket could be found in and proceeded to buy it.

Marinette got the ticket on the last day, much to her conflicted emotions since she doesn’t want to spend the day with any of these kids! While Alya is not openly antagonistic, there is a rift between these former friends after Marinette warned Alya to actually fact check and to stop trying to reveal pieces of Ladybug’s personal life’s.

Still, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity…and Tikki wants to go anyway.

At the factory, the children enter the doors alone, with no adult but Willy to supervise them.

Knowing Willy’s distaste for spies and thieves, Lila paints Marinette as a potential thief, unaware that Willy Wonka did his research to test each potential heir. He knows Lila is a liar and that Chloe was the one to steal Marinette’s hat design.

As Willy tells the kids to go ahead and eat their first location, Alya falls into the chocolate river trying to get a souvenir for Nino, ignoring Willy’s warning not to touch his river with her ungloved hands.

Willy was internally relieved as he had qualms about letting this so-called reporter into his private factory.

At the inventing room, Lila chews the gum meal before Willy can finish his sentence, interrupting his speech. She stops at pumpkin pie and begins to swell up, her skin turning orange.

Willy: well, at least I will get to finish my speeches

At a honeycomb room, Chloe asks to buy his specially trained honeybees but he refuses.

Offended, Chloe throws a tantrum and stays behind when they move on, attempting to steal a few bees behind Willy’s back. Except the bees end up swarming her. Blinded by the golden insects, Chloe accidentally stumbles into the garbage chute.

Willy: how in the world did she end up a recurring hero?

At the television room, Felix tries to learn the secrets of this teleportation device and messes with the switches and dials, accidentally sending himself inside the TV.

Willy: and this is what happens when little boys play with things they don’t understand!

When Marinette was the only one left, Willy Wonka congratulated her and declared his intention to name her his heir.

Marinette protests, stating she is too busy with her own design commissions and helping out at her family bakery.

Willy Wonka: even if my factory gives you the privacy you need to conduct your transformation potions?

Marinette: what?!

Willy: oh, if I could discover Oompa-Loompas, I can discover an ancient order protecting magical jewellery. They need more candy in their lives. Those poor trainees looked so unhappy.

Marinette: but how did you find out about my secret identity.

Willy: I did my research on each of the lucky finders of my golden tickets.

Marinette: I’m not sure…

Willy: well if you’re not sure, how about Tikki? I’m sure the kwami of creation will have good ideas for my business, especially if she has a sweet tooth as I hear.

Tikki: yes!

So while Marinette was named Willy’s heir in name, the other ticket holders emerged covered in chocolate, orange, covered in garbage and stretched painfully thin respectively.

Alya was disappointed she missed the rest of the tour. And her phone had been ruined!

Lila was going to get fired from Gavriel! There was no way to return to her original skin tone.

Chloe was already calling her father to sue Willy Wonka except Willy already sent footage of her behavior to the mayor and warned the mayor that he won’t go down without a fight. And Chloe is not very popular with the Parisians.

Felix was wishing for an akuma to turn his body back to normal!

[whentherewerebicycles]

“When it comes to happiness and unhappiness, people often confuse rumination with self-awareness. Psychologists define the former as ‘recursive self-focused thinking.’ It is to dwell on something about yourself, without recourse to new knowledge. Many studies show that rumination can exacerbate bad emotions and deepen depression, because it reinforces your negative emotional status quo.

In contrast, self-awareness—to be attentive to our own thinking processes—leads to new knowledge and breakthroughs. One recent study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences concluded that self-awareness allows us to recognize emotional cues and distractions and to redirect our minds in productive ways. In essence, studying your own mind and pondering ways to improve your happiness takes inchoate anxieties and mental meandering and transforms them into real plans for life improvement.

Rumination is to be stuck; self-reflection is to seek to be unstuck. The trick, of course, is telling the difference. Say you have just experienced a breakup. If you go over the painful circumstances again and again, like watching a looped video for hours and days, this is rumination. To break out of the cycle and begin the process of self-reflection, you’d have to follow the painful memory with insightful questions. For example: ‘Is this a recurring pattern in my life? If so, why?’ ‘If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?’ ‘What can I read to help inform me more about what I have just experienced and use it constructively?’

Self-reflection moves feelings of unhappiness from our reactive brains to our executive brains, where we can manage them through concrete action. The action itself is crucial. There is an old joke about a man who asks God every day to let him win the lottery. After many years of this prayer, he finally gets an answer from heaven: ‘Do me a favor,’ says God. ‘Buy a ticket.’ If you want happiness, reflecting on why you don’t have it and seeking information on how to attain it is a good start. But if you don’t use that information, you’re not buying a ticket.

Easier said than done, I realize. When we are happy, we are primed for action; unhappiness often makes us want to cocoon. The way to fight this is to do the opposite of what you want to do: When you’re unhappy, don’t curl up and watch a sad movie. Exercise, call a friend in need, and read up on happiness instead. You will be reprogrammed for action.”

— Arthur Brooks, “Don’t Wish For Happiness. Work for It.”

[joshslater]

Grimsby pt. 1

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Butcher Jones was pacing around in my apartment, poking, prodding and lifting every one of my possessions in the mess. I sat quiet on a chair and made every effort to look at Butcher Jones and not at the mountain of muscle standing at the door, preventing me from running out. Butcher Jones wasn't that old, perhaps mid forties, and looked slim, almost frail. It was hard to know if his nick name butcher was a sarcasm that stuck, or if there was something more sinister behind it.

"I don't see much of value around here. Do you?", Butcher Jones asked, looking down in a kitchen drawer.

"The loan wasn't for home improvements", I replied, immediately regretting the slightly sarcastic retort. Why could I not keep my mouth shut? This was what got me in trouble to begin with.

"That's a shame... Such a shame... Would be awfully convenient for both of us if there was something here I could bring with me, and we would be even. But there isn't is there?" "No, sir." "And there is no way you can scrape together that amount of money within the week.” "I think I can work someth.." "I wasn't asking." "Yes, sir. No, sir."

I glanced towards the door. The mountain of muscle was standing perfectly still just in front of the apartment door, without expression and just waiting to be told what to do. Lift something. Smash something. Break someone.

"And if you can't give me my money, isn't that stealing?" "Yes, sir." "I can't let people steal from me unpunished, can I?" "N-No, sir."

The muscle appeared unarmed, like that would make a difference. Butcher Jones dragged the other chair around the table, placed it in front of me and sat down. He looked exceptionally ordinary. Probably a good thing in his line of work.

"If you sold everything in here, how much could you get from it?" "£10,000 perhaps" "Not even close. And that still wouldn't make us even, would it?" "No, sir. No, it wouldn’t."

I wanted to look away, to look down, anywhere, but he held a steady stare into my eyes, and I wasn't sure what to do. Was it a dare, a game of chicken, some sort of power move?

"I'll buy it. All this shit, your apartment deposit and you work for me for three months, then we're even. Is that fair?"

It was so unexpected and he blurted it out so fast I barely registered what he said. Basically he takes everything I own and own my ass for a quarter. There was an unspoken "or else" in there somewhere too.

"Yes..."

"You're worried about where to sleep. What to eat." He got up on his feet quickly and patted me on my shoulders. "You're working for me now, so everything will be taken care of. You still work for Ross' Repairs?"

"When they have anything for me."

"I’ll tell them you’ve quit. I have a special assignment for you. An undercover kind of deal. I need you to go somewhere, blend in and just be part of the community for a while. Think you can do that?"

That was how I less than two hours later sat on a train to Grimsby, through Doncaster. The only thing I owned was the clothes on my back. The two most valuable items on me was the £54.30 train ticket and a crappy Huawei phone. The ticket was about to become worthless and the phone was lent to me by Butcher Jones. He took my smartphone after I had recorded a vague “I’m away for a long while” voice message, and gave me the shitty phone to receive assignment updates to.

With a three hour ride I had plenty of time to think through what had just happened. He was right that I didn't really own anything of value, so walking away from my stuff wasn't that big of a deal. I might have been able to pay him back if I worked really hard for three months, but to be debt free after three months of "blending in" was pretty sweet deal. Hopefully I wouldn't have to do anything too illegal.

I only had 10 minutes to switch train in Doncaster, and didn't have time to grab a lunch bite. It didn't even dawn on me until on the second train that I couldn’t even if I had time. I don't have a penny on me. If only I could have had breakfast before I left.

Arriving at Grimsby Town station I didn't have any further directions. I would be picked up by Declan, whoever that was, and he would tell me what to do.

Some guy decked out exclusively in Nike gear shouted obnoxiously close to me. "Oi! Chayse!" It wasn't until the third or fourth time I realized that was the name of my cover identity.

"Sorry, mate. Chayse Brown." "Fucks sake youse head filled with cotton innit. This way."

Before I had time to work out if it was a ribbing or genuine insult, he was walking towards the ticket hall. He looked to be about my age, perhaps even younger. Unkempt hair, tired look and an unlit cigarette in the corer of his mouth. He was dressed in hideous trainers, grey Nike air joggers, a Nike air sweater in a few different shades of grey, and a black back pack.

"Ere we are. Get changed. All of it."

He pulled out a filled plastic Tesco bag from his backpack and handed over to me. I looked at him quizzically, and he impatiently motioned towards the handicap restroom.

While desperately trying to avoid having me or any piece of clothing touch the floor, I replaced my shirt, T-shirt, jeans, socks, underwear and shoes with the items from the bag. It wasn't like a massive downgrade. My underwear were all supermarket packs, my Levis and shirt second hand, and the rest was mainly a difference in style. But once I had the new sneakers, white socks, Lacoste polo, and Nike joggers on, I certainly looked like I had been downgraded. But I couldn't deny that Declan and I looked like mates. I was here to blend in.

"Hey, you got anything to eat." "Take this" He handed over the cigarette from his mouth. "No, thanks. I don't smoke." "You do now. Jones' orders." Begrudgingly I put the damp end in my mouth. "Light?" "In the car"

The car, a beaten up, green Vauxhall Corsa, was parked illegally just outside the station. Once inside he tossed his backpack with my clothes in the back and tossed me a lighter.

"I should light it in here?" "Why not?"

It was probably a good thing to start smoking on an empty stomach, as my coughing turned into nausea while Declan almost couldn't handle the car as he was pissing himself. Once he had recovered from laughter he promised to teach me properly after the appointment.

“What appointment?” “A do-over at the barbs’. Mr. Jones want you to look proper mint ASAP.” Declan took back the cigarette, put it in his mouth, and then fumbled in the pile of trash in his door compartment. He found what he was looking for and tossed me a small pack of something. “Nicotine patches?” “I reckon ya needed help until ya lit fags proper” “Thanks, I guess.” “And put yous trackies in ya socks like a proper lad” “Like this?” “Mint fucker and a” Apparently that was a yes, because he looked approvingly at what I’ve done to my socks. It felt wrong.

We stopped in a residential area, and at first I didn’t even see the hair dresser. It was located in the basement of an apartment building. As we entered a middle eastern man greeted us with a big smile and offered us tea. Declan declined for both of us and proceeded to give short instructions for my haircut. Skin sides and four mills top. I didn’t really know what that meant, but only a few minutes later I could see the result. An oval island with short hair on top of my head, and essentially no hair elsewhere. It was almost a shock what huge difference it made. I looked brutal in an unpleasant way. Seeing the actual shape of the skull, specially in the back, weirded me out. My ears looked bigger too.

“You gonna havta like do yous every 2 weeks hear me? 4 mills.” “I hear you” “Let’s do ears then.”

Declan laghued way to much about his own joke before instructing Muhammad to pierce both earlobes and insert a cheap looking glass healing stud. Mohammad told me to keep them in at all times for the next two months. Definitively not remove them at all for the first few weeks, or it could start to bleed.

“You have time to mint brows?” Declan asked Muhammad. “I have time.” he answered.

I had no idea what they talked about, but Muhammad swapped to a different trimmer attachment and did a few well practiced strokes over my eye brows. He then picked up a spool of black thread, pulled out an arms length and twisted it in some weird way. Finally he put it against my skin and using a process I’d never seen before pulled out hairs, shaping the eyebrow. It hurt like hell. I grabbed my trackies and clenched my fists white.

“You want any slit?” He asked me. “Aye, two on left” Declan answered for me.

Muhammad used a different trimmer and carefully shaved two slits in my left eyebrow. As he stepped aside I didn’t see myself in the mirror. In less than 30 minutes I had been totally transformed. Between the brutish haircut, punk eyebrows and douchy ear studs there was little of me left. I had an uneasy feeling that this was moving way too fast, like I was being erased. But then that was the point with undercover, wasn’t it? I could understand why Butcher Jones wanted this done before I met anyone local.

“Oi, pose here. I’ll send a snap to Butcher”, Declan directed.

“Trackies out of yous socks again.”

[bleedingcoffee42]

I Know You Do- Carnival AU -Pt2

Late Fictober Prompt #8  “I Know you do”

Continuation of this prompt.   Warning: AU,  Royai, WIP

xxxxxxxxxx

Ed hit the ground coughing and gasping for air.  He didn't feel the pain of his shoulder hitting the pavement from the height of the back of the truck until he tried to move.   He rubbed his face after feeling something sticky on it and realized he landed in a pile of someone's spit out tobacco chew.  He sat up quickly and wiped it off as best he could.   Then he looked up at a man who was the source of the discarded tobacco as he chewed and watched him.  

“Too scary for you?”  The man asked, brown drool dripping from his lip.   “Maybe you should try the games.   Knock over a beer can with a baseball, how hard can that be?”

Ed stood up and turned away, embarrassed by his not so graceful dismount from the back of the truck and eager to tell his brother of his findings.  The delay of the pain of his fall now hit him and he winced.   He'd have a bruise later for sure.  

However, Al was not standing there.   However,  the entire carnival has suddenly come to life in his absence.  

The parking lot was now alive with lights strung across the midway and booths selling everything from jewelry to games of chance.   Where the hell did all this come from? How long had he been out?  “Hey, Mister, did you see a giant suit of armor here a few minutes ago?”

“The one the alchemist uses?”

“Yeah, that one.”  Ed replied.  He wondered what Al got into that made this guy recognize him as an alchemist.  

“The Alchemist is getting ready to put on his show so you better get a ticket.”

Ed watched the man spit another lump of wet tobacco out and it hit the ground right next to his boot.   He was done talking and decided it was best to just go look for his brother instead of ask questions;    it's not like he would be hard to find.   He dusted off his coat and pants and wiped his face off again before proceeding to walk towards the largest tent in the parking lot.   People were milling about, somewhat normal looking couples out on dates and families with children.   It was odd, like they had turned the dial up on aesthetic and were no longer  on 'creepy cesspool' but more of the weekend carnival he was expecting.  

How long had he been in that truck for this transformation to take place?

He saw there was a line forming by the tent that had a sign over the entrance announcing it as “The Alchemist” tent.  A little tacky for Al really, this was something he would have done.  Maybe in some effort to buy him some time or investigate a lead, Al had decided to roll with that mistaken identity thing and pretend to be him.   It didn't matter, it was basically a huge sign saying “Look in here” meant for him.  He went past the line forming and pushed back the curtain.

“Hey kid, where the hell do you think you're going without a ticket?”

Ed rolled his eyes as a huge man put his hand out and grabbed him by the shoulder.   He pulled out his pocket watch and showed it to the guy.  “This is my ticket.”

“Listen kid, if you need money you have to go to the Sacrificial Pawn booth over there.  He'll appraise your watch and give you some tickets.  Until you get a ticket, shove off.”  

Ed was abruptly shoved out of the way and given a bunch a cold glares from people in the line who he had cut in front of.   The watch didn't have it's usual effect of awe and respect he was accustomed to seeing.  Just a bunch of people rolling their eyes and pushing forward to hand in their tickets.  

He put the watch away and walked around the side of the tent, ducking between boxes and crates to weave his way to the back where he'd just sneak in when nobody was looking. He'd given enough money to this scam, he wasn't buying a damned ticket just to see what Al's impersonation of his was.

He found a place he could slip under the tent and sneak a peak, and did so.   The tent was filling with people taking seats and a stage that was covered with a velvet curtain.    No Al.   So he slipped back out from under the tent and walked behind it to find the stage entrance.   Pushing back the tent, he same a meager stage with a table and some boxes.   Nobody there either.   So he looked around and found another tent that looked promising and walked right in.

He wasn't expecting to walk in on Lieutenant Hawkeye wearing a corset, miniskirt, fishnet stockings and heels.  She was looking in a mirror and putting a feather in her hair.  She looked like a magician's assistant.  “Lieu....Lieutenant?”

“Kid, you're not supposed to be back here.”

Ed was frozen in place.  It sounded like Hawkeye but she was not wearing a lot of clothes.   “I wanted to see if...”

“I know you do.”  She said and walked over to him and gave him a sympathetic smile.  “They all do. Everyone just wants to ask the alchemist a question before the show starts.”

Ed was paralyzed as she put her hands on his shoulder and leaned over to look him in the eye.   There was a lot of cleavage....

“However, you need to buy your ticket and just go enjoy the show with everyone else.”  She smiled at him and spun him around using his shoulders and pushed him to the door.

“No!”  Ed finally regained his motor skills.   “What the hell are you doing?  I thought you were shutting this place down and now you're undercover?  Is Al involved in this?  Is Mustang?”

“Riza, it's fine.”  

It was the Colonel's voice and he turned around to look at a man pushing a curtain away from a tiny bed.  He was buttoning up his vest and was not in uniform.  He was wearing some black tuxedo.  Dated black tuxedo.   Like he was really trying to bring back the 1880s.    Mustang wanting to dress up was not a surprise, him wearing some vintage fashion was another.   What...the fuck.

“He's just a young fan who has probably heard that this is our last tour with the show.”  Mustang moved over to the mirror to make sure he tied his bow-tie perfectly.   Then he donned his top hat and grabbed his cape to place over his shoulder and affix around his neck.   “No reason to panic young man, we're just taking some time off.   My lovely assistant there is pregnant and we're having a baby.”

Ed watched Mustang turn around, dramatic as always with his stupid cape fetish....but there was a smile on his face that said this wasn't some joke.  There was no recognition in his eyes of who Ed was, no mocking spark of amusement that Ed knew Mustang wouldn't be able to hide.  Mustang cracking a joke about Hawkeye having his baby was plausible but Hawkeye would have set him straight immediately.   He looked at Hawkeye and she was glowing, smiling like his own mother used to when she held baby Al.   She said nothing, didn't threaten Mustang at all, and then she put her hand on her belly and looked at Mustang with pride and Ed suddenly felt queasy, light headed and passed out.

[brownskinsugarplum76]

Loose and Easy, Part 1

New fanfic. NSFW FYI. Happy holidays! ❤️

At least the concert has gone off without a hitch so far, Joyce thought. Because zealous fans had trashed a concert arena in another town while waiting to buy tickets, she and the other guards were on alert here, but in reality there were just thousands of people enjoying the spectacle of the wildly popular British group, too transfixed to cause mayhem.

The worst part about working this concert has to be it going on for hours. Three hours of lunacy was what the lead singer had promised during a moment of coy banter with the audience.

Joyce’s shift had her standing at the front of the venue, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. She had attended one of their concerts before, but her seat wasn’t this close to the front. I see why these girls are doing anything and everything to get his attention, she thought, thoroughly enjoying the view from her vantage point.

She was halfheartedly scanning for trouble in the crowd but looking at him in earnest. His body, which had transformed from willowy to bigger in all the right places over the course of the band’s existence, glistened with tangible signs of the energy, the heat, that he and his 3 rowdy co-conspirators brought to the night’s events. He effortlessly stalked his patch of the stage, shimmying, hip swiveling, passionately flailing his arms and arching his back when the palpable, electric current of the band’s spirit became too much for him.

So tasty. Her eyes hungrily lapped up the fine details of every inch of him, from curly head to white snakeskin booted toe. It was hard not to stare at him and his orgasmic enthusiasm, despite there being world-class musicians present who also were performing with equal parts skill and abandon, like it was their last concert, like they did every night.

She locked eyes with him on more than one occasion, and he kept his gaze on her for what seemed like an interminable amount of time. Each time she felt flushed and intoxicated. If this is his eye-fucking, what must the real deal be like? She considered that possibility for a minute, eyes still on him. Who am I kidding about surveillance? she caught herself and realized where her priorities really were tonight.

“Hey, Joyce, why don’t you go take your break now?” asked Rich, her boss, tapping her on her shoulder and breaking her concentration.

“Sure, Rich. Thanks.” She slowly wound through the crowd to the series of doorways and the lengthy stretch of hallway that would be a hotbed of excitement and last-ditch hookup attempts for the vast audience in a couple of hours. She hoped there was an once of seduction that the singer could see in her walk and the shape of her body as she made her way out, but she was enrobed in the drab polyester uniform that was required for the guards and did the best she could.

She procured a cigarette and a lighter from her locker in the back and proceeded to smoke in the hall. Moments later, he, the singer, emerged from the stage area. The sound of thunderous drums and his disappearance from the stage meant it was time for “Moby Dick,” which meant he would have a lot of time on his hands.

He recognized Joyce and smiled with satisfaction, striding confidently toward her on long, strong legs that were hugged unmercifully by skin-tight gold pants. “My personal bodyguard!” he said by way of a greeting and flashed his million-dollar smile.

Where do I sign up for tending to that body?  

His fully open rayon shirt trailed behind him as he stalked her way, chest forward, an assured lion of a man with a beautiful, thick mane of hair to round out that leonine image.

She was hypnotized by the louche swing of his hips, which was clearly a show for her,  the strip of waistband on those wonderful pants that was flush to his toned, tanned stomach, and then, of course, that ripe bulge of his that strained the clingy, satiny pants to their limits.

One of those nights for him, I guess. I think I know how that feels right now… I can’t take it, being this close to him…

“I’d kill for one of those.” He gracefully swept his lush curtain of hair from his eyes and looked in Joyce’s direction. She couldn’t tell if his powerful beam of desire was for her, or a cigarette, or both.

“I can’t have you killing anybody when the show must go on,” said Joyce. “I’m not just your bodyguard, you know.” She grinned and passed the cigarette his way.

He leaned against the wall while he smoked. “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying the show,” he said with a wink, back to holding her gaze for an extra long time again, then switching to eyeing her light brown skin and assortment of curves with the look of a hungry man ready to devour the best meal of his life.

If you only knew how much I’ve enjoyed it…

“The ocean of fans seems to be on its best behavior tonight, eh?” he continued.

Joyce returned a smile as her heart started beating faster in her chest. “It’s amazing. Everyone here is so into the music, into the energy of what you all are doing. I’m glad I had the opportunity to cover this concert, although I wish I could just enjoy it like a regular fan. I saw a show on your last tour, and it’s still the best concert I’ve ever seen.”

“The energy does feel good tonight.” He returned the cigarette to her. ”It’s made me feel loose and easy. Join me for a drink?” he asked, jerking his head to the side toward the dressing room.

The spoken request was harmless enough, but between them was the tangible air of where they both hoped things would go.

I’m probably already impaired by all that weed smoke, she thought–the guards were never fast enough to catch the many culprits–so she nodded her yes to a drink and smiled.

She crushed the cigarette, and he led her to the dressing room a few paces away. It was one fairly empty room with a fold-out table lined with bottles of various kinds of beers and spirits for the band. He picked up a vodka bottle and took a swig.

“Here you go.” He moved closer. Under the scent of the recent cigarette she smelled a mix of sweat and sandalwood on him, and it made her even weaker. She took a drink.

He moved behind her and put his large, bejeweled hands on her shoulders. “Bonzo is a little frisky tonight, so I think I have quite a bit of time to spare. Care to keep me company, so I don’t get bored?” he asked, his soft, melodious voice a devilish seduction in her ear that made her dizzy.

I can help you out, for sure.

Some critics called the lengthy jam explorations of his band an excessive indulgence, but Joyce called them a blessing in that moment. She faced him, smiled, and traced a finger down his chest. “I’m sure we could find something interesting to do together.”

She took a healthy swig of the bottle’s contents and then another, fully nervous to abandon her post for him, but in no time she started feeling more relaxed.

He watched, intrigued, as she took off her hat and took her hair out of the bun she wore for work and shook it loose. “That’s more like it.” He ran his fingers through her hair before tracing her full lips with a finger and then following up with an exploratory kiss.

“I hear you’re into blow jobs back here, but in case that might be boring, I’d like to propose something else.” She winked and unbuttoned some buttons on her shirt, and then some more, until her shirt was as open as his.

He took it off of her and promptly unhooked and removed her front-closure bra as well, freeing her full breasts. “I’m not bored at all now,” he said, his open smile taking on a wolfish meaning.

He took one of her nipples into his mouth while he rolled the other in his fingers. “Mmmmm,” she intoned, as she enjoyed the heightening sensations in her body and forgot that her break was ending.

She kissed him some more, entwining her fingers in his hair and gently pushing him forward to better unify their mouths and tongues. Then she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and he took care of the rest.

He stood before her completely naked, truly a “golden god,” with his body a uniform warm bronze tone. But more importantly, in an instant, she could confirm all the rumors whispered in the concert hall about him being breathtakingly well hung.

She peeled off the remainder of her clothes.

“I’d really love to savor this–and maybe we can, after the show?–but I know time is short for both of us. Let’s have a bit of fun now.” He kissed her hard, jolting her further into the mood. She yielded to the fantasy come to life with a contented moan while they both made a quick exploration of each other’s bodies with frantic caresses.

“So hard,” she murmured, grasping his cock. “I need it now.” Partly because I really do, but partly because who knows which band members or crew could show up back here? She walked over to the table with all the bottles, braced her hands on the table, and bent over.

“Great idea, love.” Knowing she was prepared to receive him, he entered her from behind. He was not disappointed. “You weren’t lying about enjoying the show, it seems. So wet.”

She savored a delicious sensation of complete fullness inside that she had never felt before. He gripped her waist tightly, and their insistent thrusting began to rattle the bottles on the table.

They moved with good chemistry. She delighted in the thump and sting of his balls hitting her pussy. “Oh, Robert, don’t stop.”

“Mmm, we will have to meet up again after the concert, ” he sighed. And then he lost his words.

She was worried that his primal screams and grunts would affect what the audience heard from him after the drum solo, but she delighted in this raw performance he was giving for her, an audience of one.

She matched his enthusiasm and desire. A nearly empty bottle toppled over the edge of the table. She lost herself in the wild, breakneck rhythm and the energy swelling and building in her body, and she cried out, too, overwhelmed by the pleasure.

When he skipped a beat, and then another and became noiseless, shaking violently behind her, she knew that their sensual duet was coming to an end. Her body began to sympathetically shudder, as if the current of pleasure he was riding had leapt into her. And then everything exploded inside of her, too.

She stood, closed her eyes, and tried to compose herself. “Wow. Not boring, right?” Rich will be furious about my absence, but it was worth it!

“Not boring one bit, love,” he said, circling his arms around her waist and drawing her close.

She fought the urge to invite Robert to put the world on hold and lie down on the nearby couch. Instead, she settled for a kiss before starting to get dressed. He followed her lead, equally reluctant to have to put more time together on hold.

He sat down on the floor to get his shoes back on. “Can you come out to play with me after you finish here?”

“I’d love that, she said, twisting up her hair in front of a lighted mirror before donning her hat again. “I may have all the time in the world if I don’t get back to my post soon, though. Rich is going to kill me!” What in the world can I use as an excuse? What will Rich believe?

“Let me help you with that,” Robert said, joining her at the mirror to fluff his golden curls. “I must let someone know how brave, how good you were at breaking up that fight backstage. Remember?” He winked. “You have a gift for…diffusing tension that should be rewarded. We’ll go back together, and it will all work out.”

A dirty mind, quick, clever thinking, a dose of compassion, a protective nature… I could get used to this.

They exchanged a smile and, as they left the room, they nearly collided with a man in a 1977 tour shirt running their way. “Oh, good, you’re heading back,” he said to Robert. It’s almost time.”

“I’m on my way. Hey, before I go, can you make sure she can get back here after the show? The name’s Joyce.” He smiled that charming smile at her again. Joyce gave Robert a puzzled expression.

“You got it.”

Joyce and Robert were on the move in the hall. How did he know my name? She was a little embarrassed that she hadn’t introduced herself before their episode. “My badge,” she said out loud, laughing.

“I have many talents–and I’d like to show you more of them–but clairvoyance isn’t on the list, I’m afraid. ” He joined along with her laughter as they continued to walk.

“Joyce, where the hell have you been?” Their connection was broken by Rich’s ire.

Robert quickly assumed a more conciliatory posture and began to weave his tale of Joyce’s valor, sprinkling on the magic dust of his infectious smile in full measure at the end.

Rich was suspicious but eked out a “Good job” for Joyce, in spite of the look on his face.

“One last request, Rich: we had planned a small party, and I’d like to invite Joyce as my guest as thanks for all she’s done tonight. Could I steal her away from you as soon as the concert ends?”

“Sure.” Rich said no more than this tensely delivered word, in a concerted attempt to keep from exploding. “Come on Joyce,” he said, walking back toward the arena.

She mouthed a silent “Thank you” to Robert, and he blew a kiss to her before racing for the door to the stage.

By the time Joyce made her way to the front of the venue, Robert was already on stage, grooving to the end of the song.

“Everyone still good out there?” he addressed the audience when the band stopped playing and received an appreciative roar in return.

“I’d like to thank you all for being on your best behavior tonight, so that my new friend–my bodyguard!–could have a good time.”

The band was used to Robert’s rambling messages for the audience but had to exchange glances as they realized this one must’ve had a double meaning that was tied to his disappearance.

A range of emotions went through Joyce’s mind, but she settled on equal parts annoyance at their interaction being shared, and satisfaction with having taken the risk. She would give him a lesson on manners later. There is a later, she thought, excited that the night wasn’t over yet.

She smiled to herself, monitored the crowd, and enjoyed the show some more.

[impalaimagining]

PittCon Sunday

(sorry this is so late. my mind has been reeling since I stepped into Jensen’s hug. cut comes after the gold panel)

My heart was racing as I typed this because it contains the letters to Jared story and the interaction between he and I as I gave him the binder and reliving that moment is everything I ever wanted. My liiiffeeee <3333 

Part One (Gold Panel): 

They come walking down the glass bridge. Jensen waves. Jared pushes him aside and becomes the star of the show. Jared takes off his beanie and everybody screams (still don’t understand how he does it).

Someone in the second row continues to talk to Jared from her seat instead of waiting to be selected for a question. (*heavy eye rolling from me*)

Jared and Jensen are sleepy little dorks and I love it. They’re still running on Vancouver time. Jensen didn’t sleep Saturday night, he watched the hours roll by. Jared says we should’ve called Jensen and invited him out with us. Jensen’s got “about two hours of solid” him left before it gets either “really interesting or really boring.”

Jared realizes the actress who plays Hitler granddaughter is from Pittsburgh. They’re “chuggin’ along” with filming - already on episode six. 

Jared says they’re still waiting for the call for season 14 renewal.

Fan is upset because Jensen promised to sing at SNS this year. He laughs and asks, “You believed that?!” He blames timezone switches and Rob, because Rob “likes Pittsburgh to himself.”

They’ve been on a juice diet because “summer was hard” on them (specifically Jared - who still looks incredible, by the way). As Jensen was walking on stage, he found a cup of goldfish crackers and stuffed a handful in his mouth. He comes on stage still chewing. They’re already talking about getting burgers for dinner Sunday night.

Jared envies people who can draw because he loves to do it but is “really bad at it.” Jensen makes a “mean stick figure.” They joke about they wish they could take their profession anywhere the way musicians and sketch artists/painters can. Jensen laughs and says he envisions Jared standing in front of a t-rex exhibit “To be! Or not to be!”

Jared takes on “Misha form!” while answering a question about their childhood memory. Jared tells the story of Tom starting kindergarten. He was flooded with emotions while the other parents were already used to taking their kids and just dropping them off. Meanwhile Jared is crying. Jensen says he has a lot of good childhood memories, but one of his favorite is his sixth birthday. He woke up and put on his cowboy outfit, complete with six-shooters and a sheriff’s badge. He walked outside and there was a horse in the yard for him to ride. Their yard wasn’t big, but he rode the horse in circles and shot his cap guns.

Jensen was never “into” sports medicine, but it was what he chose as he selected college major originally. Jensen says he thinks it would be fun to be a boat captain. Jared planned on going to school for engineering to follow in the footsteps of his brother. Instead, his brother ended up becoming a surgeon, and Jared thinks he would’ve followed that path as well. Jared’s other career options are doctor or teacher. “It’d be fun to be a wildlife photographer,” according to Jared. Jensen decides he wants to be a food and drink writer. Jared mocks avocado toast, Jensen says he’ll wolf one down if it allows him to travel to Italy.

Jared has so much trouble with his microphone.

They’ve never dreamed as Sam and Dean, but they dream about them and the set. Jared has had dreams about Kim Manners since his passing, where they talk, “which is... interesting.”

Danneel has to tell Jensen to stop using the Dean voice. Other times she’s like, “Can you please use the Dean voice...?”

Fan says alternate universe in s12 was out of left field but it was awesome. Asks if the boys have been surprised by anything the writers have thrown into the plot. Jensen says French Mistake. Jared says his big left field moment was when he traveled to Los Angeles before season 6 and met with Sera. She told him about soulless!Sam and he had to hide his gut reaction because he was right in front of her instead of being on the phone like he normally would be. Soulless!Sam is one of Jared’s favorite character twists. 

Jensen would never rule theatre out of his life as a future option. He doesn’t currently have plans to return to the stage, but he wouldn’t mind going back. Jared says he hasn’t done theatre in a long time, and he loved it. It’s the “best training ground possible,” but it’s hard to keep it fresh. Jared compares theatre to doing squats for thirty minutes. Jensen laughs and mocks him. joking about never skipping leg day.

A fan is getting fired for being at the convention. Asks about binge watching because she has a lot of free time now. Jensen says he watched Ozark in a week. Jared says Breaking Bad, but he’s on to Ozark because of Jensen’s recommendation. 

Fan gives suggestions for food places. A place called Burgatory. Jensen asks if there are any exits. 

“Did someone say Sanchez?” - Jared... why

Unicorns or dragons? Jared: unicorns ‘cause they’re not going to kill me, and they fart rainbows. Jensen: I’m gonna go dragons. Speaking of dragons... anybody watch game of thrones? Jared jokes about Jensen ruining the show for him by mentioning dragons. Jensen asks if everyone is caught up. Fan says no. Jensen: “earmufffssss!” He thinks they totally ripped off the demon!Dean transformation scene.

Part Two:

Jensen Ackles photo op! 

Was a little nervous but not really because like yeah he’s adorable and Jensen friggin Ackles but I didn’t have anything to tell him or show him so it was nothing like Misha (or Jared).

I walked up and said, “Hi! How are you?” He smiled and said, “I’m good. Tired. How are you?” I kind of yelled a little bit when I responded but it was so worth it. “Great now!” And then I proceeded to throw my arms around him and Chris took the picture. Jensen rubbed my shoulder as I was walking away. 

His hugs are so soft and gentle. His voice is so sweet and smooth. Jensen Ackles smells amazing and he’s so... *sigh* 

Part Three: 

JARED. PADALECKI.

This is the motherfucking ultimate high point of my weekend. I met. I hugged. I got a photo with. Jared. Padalecki. 

As I walked up, my heart was pounding let me tell you, boy. He smiles and says, “Hi!” oooh lawd his breath smells like booze and it’s something of my dreams (don’t ask.). I can smell his cologne. Y’all weren’t kidding when you said he uses a fuckton. I love it. I’m all giggly and nervous and I’m like, “I wanna show you something!” 

I spin around and pull my hair back off my ear and show him my tattoo. He - I kid you not - screams over the music playing. “NO SHIT!” I nod and give him this giant smile. “That’s my handwriting!!!” Yes it is you big, beautiful man. “That’s awesome!” I’m in fuckin euphoria and I don’t even feel him lean against my head when Chris snaps the photo. I have no idea if I even looked into the camera at this point. I’m praying to God I did and as I leave, Jared gives me a little pat on the back and when I turn around, he’s still smiling at me. “Thanks so much!” I get a wink. I GET A MOTHERFUCKING JARED PADALECKI WINK I AM SIMULTANEOUSLY LIVING AND DYING. (the next person in line was already next to him while this is all happening, LOL)

I practically skip out of the room but there are no tears. How did I do this??? This man makes me so fucking happy I didn’t even cry??? Jared is my savior. That’s it. 

Part Four: 

Jim Beaver. What an adorable father-like man.

I’m thoroughly convinced he’s drunk when he comes on stage. Jim Beaver danced. Like... heavy footwork, light on his toes danced. He’s holding a coke can and I can pretty much guarantee it wasn’t just soda in that can. 

I don’t remember much of his panel but the first thing he said was, “Hey idjits!” 

A fan asked him to say balls. It was... kind of awesome. 

A young girl came up to the mic to ask a question. He called her on stage and knelt down at her eye level. “Is that all you see???” She laughed. She has the same name as his daughter. They’re spelled the same way. “Are you my kid?? How weird would that be if my kid came all the way here and I didn’t know it. I didn’t buy her a plane ticket, I know that!” She asks her question (which I forget because I suck) and after he answers, he hugs her and sends her back off the stage. 

Part Five: 

J2 main panel. Boys come running down the center aisle through the crowd. Pretty convinced their body guards/handlers hate them lmao.

I’m not going to go through every question like I did for the gold panel. Jared and Jensen are perfect. That’s just about all you need to know. 

Jared’s pretty sure he’s going to get in trouble for jumping. His back has been hurting. “The medicine, it works!” 

It’s a glorious Sunday because “Dallas hasn’t played yet.”

Jared’s pretty sure turning 35 makes everything stop working.

Jim Beaver walks by in the glass bridge. Jared has the crowd yell “come back!” 

Jensen thanks football fans for giving up opening day to be at the convention. Says it’s hard not to be in front of a tv on the first football Sunday. Terrible towels come out.

Jared compares having three kids to “drowning... and then someone throws you three kids.” Jensen originally only wanted one kid, but Danneel wanted three. They compromised on a second pregnancy. ... “You always find a way to get what you want, don’t you, ladies?”

Jensen apologizes for having to leave the J2 photo ops earlier in the day because Danneel had called him multiple times. He thought something was really wrong. When he called back, she asked if he could FaceTime quickly. Arrow was saying “dada.” “Unfortunately, it was our plumber that was there...”

If I had been playing the SPN Con drinking game I would’ve been wasted the entire weekend. Good Lord. 

Jensen’s favorite episode to film was Baby. Jared’s favorites include episodes like Baby, French Mistake, Changing Channels, and Hollywood Babylon. It was the first time they were allowed to make fun of themselves and the industry. After filming Hollywood Babylon, they convinced the crew to give them the bigger trailers since they were already on set. 

Working with kids depends on their parents.

Jared mentions GameBoy. Jensen has a moment like dude you’re so old why are you bringing up GameBoy. It becomes a running joke throughout the panel. 

“Does your face hurt, Jensen?? Because it’s killin’ me!” ... dorks. 

They turn off Sam and Dean when they go back to their real lives. It’s easy for them at this point to flip the switch of the emotional pain Sam and Dean go through because of their friends and especially their family.

Part Six: AUTOGRAPHS AND THE BINDER (!!!!!!)

Guys guys guys I’m freaking out at this point. I know how much trouble I could get in for giving something to Jared. The handlers are going to hate me. According to a friend, “They’ve kicked people out for less.” hashtag fuck.

Something happens with another fan and the woman announcing rows to head back to autos is wrapped up with other things. I waited so much longer than I should have. It was horrendous and put me that much more on edge. 

Finally my row is called. I’m only in the fourth row. Why did it take this long. 

Steve Miller Band is playing from Jared’s phone onto a bluetooth speaker while I’m standing in line. When I get to him, it’s Fly Like An Eagle.

“How’re you, sweetheart?” *dies* He signs my book. “Did you read it?” I nod and say yes, of course. “And...?!” I told him I loved it and I thought it was very brave of him to share as much and as honestly as he did. He smiles and then I bring up the binder. 

Me: “I actually have something to give to you, and I know it could get me in a lot of crap for doing it this way. This is a project I put together. It’s letters from me and a lot of my friends because we just wanted to thank you for what you’ve done and let you know how much you mean to us. I don’t expect you to read them all, there’s a lot of them in there.” J: “I do like to read! *he’s flipping through them, paging to see just how many there are* No way! Damn girl!!!” Me: “It’s just something we did for you.” J: “Thank you. Thank you very much. Please pass on my gratitude to whoever sent you a letter.” Me: “I will, thank you!!!” J: “Thank you.” AND THE FREAKIN’ SMILE OMG. 

I don’t know how I lived. I don’t know how me and my shaky knees made it to Jensen’s autograph line but I did and he is such a sweetheart, my goodness. 

I slipped Jensen my book and he was just so tired omg it’s so sad and adorable. He signed the wrong page of my FDEWB book because sleeeepy. 

He slid it across the table to me and I thanked him for everything. He said “You’re welcome.” And patted the back of my hand and again, *i die*

THUS CONCLUDES MY FIRST EVER CON WEEKEND MY LIFE HAS BEEN MADE AND JARED HAS THE LETTERS AND MY SHIRT /STILL/ SMELLS LIKE HIM.

[ireadnowi]

Holiday in Madeira: Top 10 things to do in Madeira

Madeira – the just about untapped islands are a tropical destination offering adventurous nature tracks, blissed out sunbathing and a side of Portuguese culture that’s unique from that of the mainland. We hiked up mountains (to chase waterfalls, yes literally).

we indulged in local delicacies, eating at remarkable restaurants, and mostly we chilled call at the sun, forever surrounded by panoramic views, lush nature and endless stretches of the Atlantic.

This visit was a part of a gifted press trip with Visit Madeira, however, all opinions are my very own. Read on to ascertain what we got up to during our stay in Funchal, Madeira.

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1. Ride on the car

The most efficient/novelty thanks to ascending the very steep Funchal slopes is to catch the Madeira car. The destination? We hitched a ride up to the Monte Palace Tropical Gardens and you'll conveniently buy a combo ticket to both attractions for 31,40€. Along your journey within the glass cars, you’ll be treated to sky-high views of Funchal, surrounded by the Atlantic blues. The journey itself only lasts quarter-hour but is certainly not one to miss. No got to book tickets beforehand, you'll simply purchase a ride at the station.

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2. Visit Monte Palace Tropical Gardens

When we finally reached the highest of the gorgeous car ride, we had a full morning to explore the magical Monte Palace Tropical Gardens. Once a lavish 18th-century hotel, the location was bought by José Berardo in 1987 and transformed into a tropical public attraction, covering 70,000 square meters of exotic plants, lakes, fountains, and wildlife.

As you stroll through the gardens, you'll admire the gorgeous ceramic tile collection portraying the history of Portugal, including the foremost important social, cultural and non-secular events. If you get the prospect to go to, I’d recommend wearing some shoes with some serious grip for the steep cobbles that wind around the gardens – I spent a good amount of your time gripping Justin’s arm sort of vice.

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3. Lunch at Restaurante Do Forte

This restaurant is found within the walls of the historical fortress of São Tiago. Constructed in 1614, the brilliant yellow-colored walls of the fortress are like the palaces in Sintra on mainland Portugal. At Restaurante Do Forte you'll be seated during a romantic setting, with a view of the ocean to enjoy whilst eating your way through a various gastronomic menu featuring international cuisine with traditional Madeiran ingredients.

Not only is that the restaurant during a stunning location, but each dish that came out was also an edible work of art! We started with the seafood trilogy of scallop, shrimp, and squid. For mains, Justin and that I both tucked into their Surf & Turf – Beef fillet with prawn and sea bream + roasted shallot cream, the meat was incredibly succulent and pair perfectly with the accompanying vegetables. For dessert, I had the Pistachio delight – caramel, meringue kisses, gooseberry gel + pistachio sponge which was (almost) too pretty to eat.

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4. Swim at Doca do Cavacas

For our Judgment Day in Madeira, we visited Doca do Cavacas – a posh of natural pools with direct sea access. It costs a measly 2€ euro to urge in and a further 4.90€ for 2 sunbeds + an umbrella for the whole day, a solid bargain if you inquire from me.

We came here on a weekday which I might highly recommend doing, as obviously a spot as gorgeous as this is often completely rammed on the weekends, and spaces are limited. We spent a couple of hours chilling within the sun then headed up to the particular restaurant of Doca do Cavacas, where I enjoyed some fresh garlic prawns, of course. Will there be one holiday where I don’t eat them? I hope not!

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5. Explore Zona Velha (the old town)

In the charming backstreets of Funchal’s old town, Zona Velha, you'll find over 200 painted doors as a part of the aptly named Painted Doors Project which transforms this area into an outside gallery. Head to Zona Velha for an active atmosphere, it’s where Funchal’s hottest nightlife venues and restaurants are located with most of the action happening on Rua de Santa Maria. Walking through the narrow cobblestones streets of the Old Town also will lead you to the gorgeous Socorro Church.

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6. Enjoy the simplest views of Funchal

While there are many “miradouros” (viewpoints) dotted around the hilly slopes of Funchal – we got a tip-off from the locals to go here for the simplest panoramic views of the town and harbor below. One evening we packed our bags with a couple of bevies and caught a taxi to the present spot (don’t plan to walk because the climb is V unforgiving). We watched the sun drench the town during a golden-red glow before setting behind the clouds and watching the hills illuminate during a mesmerizing sparkle.

7. Immerse yourself in traditional Madeiran culture

On the primary night of our visit, with no real agenda, we stumbled across a leaflet from our hotel advertising a “Typical Maderia evening” with traditional Madeiran food, music, dancing, and free-flowing booze? Hold my phone.

We received the restaurant excited at the prospect of unlimited grilled meat + drinks and a vast chance of being dragged abreast of the stage to embarrass ourselves! We quickly realized that we were far and away from the youngest people within the place by a solid 30 years. However, we fully embraced the hilarity, making a toast with the elderly couple sat opposite us on the table and proceeded to drink a bottle of white within the space it took them to drink their first glass!

The grilled meat was incredible, made all the more enticing by being hung high above the table on massive iron skewers! Justin quickly ate himself into a beef-based coma by the time the cultural Folklore dancing began….and then found himself being grabbed by the dancers decked in bizarre-looking hats. He was in time at the rear of a line – fully knowing he couldn’t break off at the danger of starting ANOTHER line.

For 30 euro each including a transfer/to from the hotel – it had been banging deal for our first night in Madeira where we soaked up their local culture, dishes, and alcohol! Booking is often made here.

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8. continue a Levada Walk

Much as I like a glam holiday moment, you can’t beat going for an honest ol’ hike within the forest and Maderia has some incredible trails to explore! We were lucky enough to possess a personal guide to accompany us on a famous Levada walk.

“Levada” maybe a Portuguese word derived from the word “levar” – which suggests holding. These mini-canals are irrigation systems developed to distribute water from the rainfall heavy and wet regions along far distances to banana plantations, vineyards, fruit orchards, and vegetable gardens. They wind around the mountains of Madeira, making them ideal walking paths for keen hikers.

We hit the Levada do Caldeirão Verde track which was about an hour's drive from Funchal. The walk was so beautiful but not without its scary moments. There are very narrow paths with huge drops to the side and little tunnels to squat your way through #legday! The highlight of the walk found us at the bottom of a 100ft waterfall that left us with a small neck ache staring up at it.

Our guide packed us a picnic, so we tucked into sandwiches, refreshments and a famous pastel de nata to refuel for the long sun-drenched forest walk back. I highly recommend booking a guide, not only is it cheaper than catching a taxi (as transfers to/from your hotel are included), but you’ll have the added comfort of safety, experience and lunch is included too!

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9. Drink cocktails at Sé Boutique Hotel’s Rooftop Bar

An Instagrammable rooftop bar serving delicious cocktails will always call to me sort of a siren. Sé Boutique Hotel‘s terrace bar is hospitable to the general public and may be accessed via the hotel lobby. there's no cocktail menu here, just sit back and relax and let their barman, Rui, do all the work, he’s the expert in any case. He made us their signature drink ‘The Flamingo’, which went down smoothly and quickly. Come here for sunset and luxuriate in the 360° views over the town of Funchal. Stay to mingle with the locals and guests of the hotel, it’s the right thanks to starting a night in Funchal.

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10. Dinner at DC Atelier Restaurant

Wow, what an experience. If you’re visiting Madeira to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary or just the very fact you’re a wonderful person – then treat yourself to a monumental fine dining experience at DC Atelier Restaurant located at the Nini Design Centre Restaurant. the planning center was born from the skills of Portuguese designer, Nini Andrade Silva. Built into the jagged rocks of the old fort, the center’s design features take inspiration from Nina’s favorite art subject: pebbles. Everything from the elevator, furniture and right down to the serving plates combat some sort of a pebble-like shape or texture.

The restaurant is found on the highest floor boasting views looking back at the town of Funchal, which in the dark is illuminated by thousands of twinkling lights. The menu features fresh seafood and re-interpretations of traditional Madeira dishes with Atlantic cuisine.

We started with the nice and cozy Tiger prawn salad with a wine reduction, and as I write this I'm hit with a momentary pang of sadness as I realize ready to | I'll"> I will be able to never be able to eat this dish anytime soon (until my next visit to Madeira, of course). it had been THAT good. For mains, we divided and conquered two different portions of meat – lacquered duck + the catch of the day with a mustard crust and potato terrine. Dessert was the Salty Caramel Cheesecake which a piece of art in itself – again the planning nodding to the pebble theme of the restaurant with caramel balls sprinkled throughout.

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Four Views Baía

Located within the center of Funchal, the Four Views Baía hotel is during a prime position, with epic views of the bay of Funchal. We were welcomed by the stunning hotel staff who gave us an excellent rundown of the local spots within the area and showed us to our incredible suite on the 11th floor. The view from our balcony (which mind you, if you saw from my Instagram stories then you'd have seen was 3 times the dimensions of our room) was simply breath-taking!

On top of everything, our suite had it’s own bathtub bath with floor to ceiling windows so we could watch the sunsets from the tub! The decor is sleek and modern, and therefore the room featured a little kitchenette, LCD TV and free access to their spa. The hotel offers a variety of entertainment, head on right down to their Woogie Boogie Bar for various evening events and activities.

The standout of this hotel is undoubtedly their outdoor swimming bath where you'll chill and absorb the views of the Funchal harbor and surrounding hills. There’s also a heated indoor pool for those visiting Madeira within the slightly colder months.

[miraculoussideblog]

Ways To Say I’m Sorry-Chapter 6

Chapter [1][2][3][4][5][you are here]

[AO3]

Chapter Six- I hate that I love you/I love that I hate you

“Here.” Chloe placed the God awful brooch on Sabrina’s desk. “My Great Aunt Millie passed away last week. She left me this in her will. It’s yours now. Get it out of my sight”

“This looks expensive,” Sabrina said. “I can't accept this.”

The diamond and gold flower brooch was obnoxiously large and clunky. It looked like it was straight from a costume jewelry store, but it was worth almost one hundred thousand Euros. She didn't want to ruin any of her finery with that ugly thing. “It's worth a fortune. Try not to get it stolen..”

“Thank you so much Chole. You’re the best.”

“I know.” She flipped her blonde locks over her shoulder. “What are friends for?”

Nathaniel slumped down on his couch, this was a day for the books. Flying, a picnic on the Eiffel Tower, that Kiss. He was in love.

He had to end things with Sabrina before he could tell her. What they were doing was wrong. Chloe was doing much better, there was no reason for Sabrina to interfere. He called her over to tell her to her face. Sabrina, stated she’d get what she needed and left. She’d grown cold over the years. Whatever happen between the two really screwed he up.

A banging on the door startled Nathaniel. It had to be Chloe, she was in such a panic when she ran off. Something had to be wrong.  He opened the door. Chloe’s tear stained eyes were red and swollen. “What happened.”

In a fit of rage, Chloe pounded her fist into his chest. “How could you,” She screamed. “I trusted you. Bastard.”

“You’re hurting me,” Nathaniel seized her hands.

“Good.”

“What’s going on?”

“She kissed you!”

“Who?”

“Sabrina!”

Nathaniel, released her. Chloe proceeded to pound away at his chest. He shouldn’t have let Sabrina come over. He was so desperate to end things, he wasn’t thinking.

“Why did she kiss you?”

“We’re French!”

Chloe stopped hitting him. “Then why was she here?”

Nathaniel paused; it was now or never. He took Chloe’s hand and lead her to the couch. “Chloe, I care for you so much. Believe me, I would never do anything to hurt you. When you came back to Paris, Sabrina approached me and asked if I could help you out. She set up with Marinette job and a place to stay. My job was to get you to the bakery, and keep an eye on you. That’s all. I’m swear I only called her over to end it. I couldn’t stand lying to you anymore.”

Chloe sat expressionless. Her eyes completely blank. “All this time…” she mumbled. “All this time you’ve been helping me, not because you wanted to, but because you had to.”

“It’s not like that--”

“Did she tell you what happened the night I left town? Is that why you took pity on me?”

“I don’t know what happened between you two and I won’t ask. I know it’s hard for you to even say her name. I should have told you sooner.”

“I should go,” Chloe stood up.

“No please. I love you. I’m so sorry.”

Chloe paused. “I love you too. And I hate that I love you.”

“What?”

“You’ve given me so much. I don’t know if I love you because of you or everything you’ve done for me. I get it now. You’re Sabrina’s replacement. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not Sabrina. I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Relationships are about give and take. And I keep taking and taking. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“Chloe, you are not that person anymore.” He pulled her into a hug. “The fact that you can’t see that, and are still trying to improve proves you’ve changed. And I love you for it.”

“Nathaniel…” She pulled away. “I’m sorry.”  

“Ugh.” Chloe rummaged through a jewelry box filled with cheap costume jewelry. She needed to wash her hands, her skin could not stand touching such cheap accessories. She already felt a rash coming on. She checked the final drawer. Found it. “Thank you Great Aunt Millie.”

“What are you doing?” A voice said from behind.

Shit.

“Sabrina,” Chloe slipped the brooch in her pocket before turning around to face her friend. “I came to tell you I'm leaving the country.”

“What's in your pocket?”

“I have a friend who offered me a place to stay until this blows over. I'll keep in touch I promise. I have a plane to catch.” Chloe tried to push past Sabrina, but she didn't budge. “Sabrina, move.”

“Chloe, what did you put in your pocket?

Chloe’s finger grazed the slight bump in her pocket the brooch. She had two options lie or run and she already did a lot of running today.

“You're being absurd. Get out of my way.” Chloe crossed her arms over her chest, hoping she would back down. Sabrina reached for Chloe’s pocket. “what are you-" Sabrina pulled the brooch out.

“Aunt Millie’s brooch.” She muttered, placing the gaudy piece of finery on the dresser beside her. “You did say it was worth a fortune.”

“I just want to keep my the memory of my Great Aunt Millie alive while-"

“Save it.” She said sharply.

“You never wear it anyway. It's more useful to me now than you.”

“So you were going to steal it?” Sabrina looked livid. Chloe hadn't see her this upset since the Vanisher episode.

“Borrow. As soon as Daddy’s lawyers  get everything straightened out I'll buy you something better.”

“I don't want another gift. You betrayed my trust. You don't care about anybody but yourself.”

“Don't you care about me? My life imploded today.”

“And the first thing you do is steal from your so called “best friend” rather than ask for help?”

“I don't need your help.”

“You just need a hundred thousand Euros and a first class ticket to London.”

“How did you-"

“I know everything that involves you in this city. Call it intense loyalty or whatever, but I am hurt you didn't come to me first.”

“If you knew everything about me you would know I've been pretty preoccupied today.”

“Oh I know, but that's no excuse. You book a ticket out of the country as soon as thing get hard.”

Chloe checked her phone. She needed to get to the Orly Airport soon. Without the brooch she won't have enough money to live comfortably until she could figure out how to get her money back. “I need to leave. I'll call you as soon as I-”

“Don't bother. If you take that brooch, I never want to see you again.”

Chloe’s eyes darted to the brooch and back to her friend. Five years ago, this would have been an easier decision. She was bond by a sense of duty since getting her Miraculous, since becoming Ladybug’s friend. Ladybug wasn’t here. She didn't give a rats ass about Chloe, no one did. She had to look out for herself.

“Goodbye Sabrina.” Chloe picked up the brooch as she pushed passed her former best friend.

Chloe laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling for God knows how long. Pollen buzzed up to her fave to check to see if she was still alive. She didn't want to talk to her, or anybody right now. So many thoughts raced through her head.

Why was Sabrina helping her if she never wanted to see her again? Why bring Nathaniel into this?

“Chloe?” The trap door creaked open.

“Go away Marinette.”

Marionette sighed as she climbed up and shut the door under her. “I wanted to apologize for this afternoon. I was out of line.”

“I'm not upset about that anymore.” She rolled over to face Marinette. “Why did you give me a job and apartment?”

“You needed help.”

I was terrible to you and your family. Why did you say yes to Sabrina?”

Marinette sat beside her on the bed. “So you know.”

“Did she tell you what I did?”

“No.” She shook her head. “But I decided to give you a second chance. I know what ever happened with Sabrina is over, she's giving you a second chance.”

“I stole from her,” Chloe finally said. The action weighed down her heart the second she walked on the plane. “Right before I left Paris I stole an expensive brooch from my late Great Aunt. I gave it to Sabrina a few years ago. I took it right in front of her face. And we ended our friendship there.”

“Did you apologize?”

“Up until now I thought she didn't want anything to do with me.”

“Well, she cared enough to make sure you had what you needed when you returned. Right now, she's probably just giving you space until you're ready to apologize.”

“I don't know how. People say actions speak louder than words. But old Chloe would just buy Sabrina’s forgiveness. I am not that person anymore."

“Then use your words,” Marinette said. “I'm sure that's all she wants in the end. Show her you changed.”

“You sure?”

“You won't know until you try.” Marinette’s phone rang between them. She checked the caller ID. “It's Fu! Hello,” she answered quickly. Marinette listed intently. Her face didn't give away any emotion. “We’re on it.” She hung up. “Wayzz was watching Nooroo and he coughed up another akuma. It's loose.”

“Nathaniel!” Chloe jumped up.

“What about him?”

“I found out about the Sabrina thing and some other stuff. He seemed upset, but not ‘lock me up in a tower so I'll never leave him’ upset.” She dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. “Shit.”

“Go to him,” Pollen said.

“I'll let the rest of the team know. It might not get to him. There must be someone in Paris more miserable than him.”

“Thanks...I guess.” She turned to her kwami. “Pollen Transform me!”

Golden light showered her body as she transformed into Queen Bee.”

“Good luck.”

Chloe raced to Nathaniel’s apartment. All of his lights were off. Shit. He left. She should have warned him if the possibility of a loose akuma. She was just so hurt she completely forgot. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

She called him again. The phone rang once, twice. “Hello?” He finally answered.

“Nathaniel where are you?”

“Chloe?”

“There's an akuma loose. It's not tied to Hawkmoth so it's unpredictable.” Nathaniel didn't respond. A shriek rang through the phone. “Nathaniel are you okay? Nathaniel!”

“I'm at the Seine,” he whispered. “It's here.”

Shit. Nathaniel's apartment as in the opposite direction. She released her wings and flew as fast as she could. She could hear the commotion as she got closer. She prayed Nathaniel was okay.

From the distance, she could see Nathaniel hiding behind a tree. He was okay for now. She needed to get him as far away from the attack as possible.

“Nathaniel!” she shouted, trying to get his attention. “Nathaniel.”

He glanced in her direction, his eyes wide with terror. “Look out!” He pointed behind her.

Out of the corner of her eye, the akuma appeared behind her. Before she could react, a green ray of light shot from its pen, knocking her out of the sky.

[burnouts3s3]

Shazam, a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously. Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Ticket Price: Will Vary Theater to Theater How much I paid: 9.25 USD Rated: PG-13 for Intense sequences of action, language and suggestive material. Running time: 132 Minutes (2 Hours and 12 Minutes). 3-D: Yes, but I didn't see it in 3-D. Post-Credits Sequences: One mid credits sequence, one mid credits scene and one scene after the credits.   My Personal Biases: I like Superheroes. I like superhero movies. I like the DCEU and I have a disposable amount of income that means going to see an overpriced movie means nothing to me. Sorry if you were looking for someone harsher. My Verdict: Shazam feels like the first time    that the DCEU is attempting to copy the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. However, it’s still a lot of fun and Zachary Levi has genuine charisma in the role. But the main draw is seeing Billy find his real family and mess around with his powers. Shazam, a review

With the MCU and DCEU locked in fierce competition, the DCEU has to decide what direction to take. After the box office disappointment of Justice League, the DCEU found new success after Aquaman broke 1 Billion dollars worldwide. With Shazam, the DCEU seems committed to changing course. What will happen with Shazam as it goes for a ‘family friendlier’ superhero and lightens its tone? In 1974 Upstate New York, while playing with his Magic 8-Ball, a young Thaddeus Sivana is magically transported to the Rock of Eternity, where he meets the wizard Shazam, who introduces him to the mystical statues containing the spirits of the Seven Deadly Sins: Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and Sloth. The last of a council of seven, Shazam spent centuries searching for a new champion. Put to a test to see if he is pure of heart, Sivana attempts to touch the Eye of Envy, failing the test. When he is transported back to the car, he causes a scene when he tries to go back, causing an accident that injures his father. While I can’t say that Shazam revolutionizes the superhero genre, there’s a lot of fun to be had. If the DCEU is willing to ape the films of the MCU, Shazam is a good starting point.   In present-day Philadelphia, Billy Batson is arrested by child services after he lures and traps police officers to assist in his search for his mother. He is adopted by the Vasquez's, and he shares a room with Freddie Freeman, a paraplegic. Meanwhile, using testimonies by those rejected by Shazam, Sivana returns to the Rock of Eternity and frees the Sins, allowing them to use his body as a vessel to escape. With his power, he kills his father and brother for the abuse he suffered as a child. While at school, Freddie is bullied by a group of kids. Billy intervenes and flees onto the subway, where he is summoned by Shazam, who tells him of one who used his powers for evil. Billy promises he uses his powers for good, and Shazam has Billy grab his staff and say, "Shazam!", which transforms Billy into an adult with multiple superpowers. With Freddie's help, Billy begins to learn the full extent of those powers. Zachary Levi is PERFECT as Shazam. Levi has always had an interesting range, but playing an adult with a kid at heart is aces. Scenes like Billy going to buy beer while in the Shazam costume had me rolling on the floor! If there’s a weakness to the proceedings it’s the actual ‘plot’. Mark Strong is a good actor but Thad is a very generic villain even as a foil to Billy. And it’s clear the movie doesn’t take it seriously either and uses it for comedic purposes. The main story is showing Billy deal with his birth mother and whether or not he has a place in his new Foster home.   CAVEAT: It’s not that Mark Strong’s Thad is a bad character, but the main draw here isn’t the special effects, but the human story of Billy adjusting to his foster family and trying out his new powers. The big superhero fight seems secondary to watching Billy grow as a character and Zachary Levi nails the role perfectly. I imagine more people will be talking about the comedy bits than the actual plot and I think that’s a good thing.  Like Deadpool, it doesn’t change the formula, but calls out the tropes and has a fun time doing it. Verdict: Full Price!

[exofluffstuff]

I thought you said, you loved me.

(Requested Chanyeol’s scenario)

Words:3,815 Genre: Fluff

(Reader X Chanyeol)

Background: You are a famous pop idol in America, you and Chanyeol met in one of his EXO concerts and  both of you fell hopelessly in love with each other. But as both of you have busy schedules, and Chanyeol realizes he  wants to break up with you because he barely gets to see you. But soon realizes he can’t live without you. Will you take him back?

Story: Reader’s P.O.V

One year Earlier:

“Y/N” my manager screams….“Y/N, wake up you’re going to be late for your flight!” she finished saying. “Ugh… Just five more minutes” I barely manage to say. “No! You’re going to get you’re little ass of the bed” she snapped. “Ok! Ok!” I said as finally waking up and getting out off the bed since I know I can’t make my manager go mad, she turns into a bitch when she does.  I got into the shower and got dressed as quickly as I can. I did a simple makeup and waited for my manager to give the next instructions for me to follow. “Where are we going next?” I asked to my manager. “ We are going to Japan!” she said excited. “Really!” I said with much excitement as she. “Yes!!, you know you’re favorite band is going to have a concert there also!, is a day before yours” she said. “What band are you talking about?” I asked. “You know the one that you listen to all day!, the Chinese dudes” she said while rolling her eyes. “You mean EXO!!” I said practically screaming with excitement. “Yeah, yeah those” she said with an sassy attitude. “Ah, and by the btw they are KOREANS, not Chinese! Oh well just one , Lay but they just to have other 3 Chinese members but they left” I said explaining to my manager. “Oh ok, do you want me to find you some tickets?” she asked. “Yeah! Of course, duh!” I said. “Ok” she said. “I’ll put it on my agenda and start to look for concert tickets on the flight” she said. I nodded. “Well time to leave and head for the airport” she said. I just followed her instructions. After a 30 minute drive, we finally arrived at the airport. We went over desk grabbed our tickets and proceeded over to to the checking area. After that, an airport staff came to me and my staff and instructed to be in a special room just until the flight starts boarding. This was done for my privacy and for my safety. After the 2 hour wait, they finally called us to board the plane and being a celebrity and all, I got the VIP section or better known as first class. Since I was still tired, I decided to take a nap. In which resulted as a 9 hour sleep. I was surprised to my self that I slept that long but who cares I haven’t sleep this good in a long time. “How many hours are still in flight?” I asked. “They are like 12 more hours or less” she shrugged. “Umm okay…” I said. “ I am hungry” I finished saying. “I’ll a assistant” she said. She hit a button located on the very top of the seat and waited for somebody to come. Then after 5 minutes or so a lady came. “Yes, how may I help” the lady asked. “Umm I am hungry, you see I didn’t had anything since we left Florida” I said. "Do you have ramen or something similar? I asked. "Umm let me check" the lady went. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! You have to keep your figure for the concert!" the manager started saying. "You know I love ramen!" I said. "I will eat it and by the way is the first meal I had in all day" I finished saying. "Ok, I'll let it slide just for this trip but you know you have to exercise more than before" the manager said. "Ok Kristine!" I said.(yes that's the managers name) . "Miss, yes we do have so ramen do you want pork or chicken with it?" the lady asked. "I would love to have it with chicken please" I said to the lady. The lady nodded and smiled. After finally eating my ramen which it was so good and decided to read my social media. I replied to some of the lovely messages that some of the fans had left. " So did you buy the tickets" I asked Kristine. "Yes...do you know how hard it was" she said with exhaustion. "Ok, which seats you got me?" I asked. "I couldn't get you the all included package but at least I got you the one that follows behind that package which is also a good one, you'll seat at the arena part, where you can see them straight and you'll see them after the show, where they take pictures with you and sign your CD or poster" she said. "Sounds good" I said with a smile. "Thank you so much Kristine!" I said. "You know you gave to dress very casual and disguise you're self, just in case some fan discovers you" she said. I just agreed with it. I know its for my own safety. "At what time is the concert?" I asked. "The concert is 3 hours after we arrive at Japan, so I suggest you sleep and relax all you want" she said. I just nodded and indeed decided to sleep some more. After hours later, we finally headed arrived at Japan and I could feel my anxiety pecking through me. It always happens to me when I don't want it to happen. I often suffer from anxiety attacks and I can't really control them. I really don't know what triggers them. "K...r...i...s...t...i...n..e" I started to say to Kristine as I shivered and shaked. "Is it your anxiety?" Kristine asked. I nodded breathing hard, trying to relax myself since I am at a public place. "Mark get her some water" she instructed the guy I barely know. He has been working for me, well actually for Kristine, he's actually her secretary. "Ok" he said as he started running. "Just sit down here in this chair, calm yourself. Everything will be okay" she started saying. I just tried and tried feeling myself hopeless, until finally I calmed myself. "Here" said Mark handing me a bottle of water. I drank. After that accident, we took our bags and grabbed a taxi and just headed to our hotel. The hotel was so wonderful and elegant. 'Probably Exo is staying here too' I said to myself. As I walked into the entrance to the lobby, a dark dressed with a black hat man bumped into me. "Oh I am so sorry, I was not looking straight, I am so sorry" he started to explain. "It's okay, I.." I started to say but as I looked straight into the man's face, I kind of recognized his face, he kind of looks like Chanyeol. But I shrugged it off.I got quickly to my room and decided to get ready for Exo’s concert. I told Kristine to get me Alice, my makeup artist, in order to create a perfect disguise. After, a while of putting make up and circle contact lenses and some lenses. I decided well actually, was forced to dress very casual but still look pretty. “Y/N, Jane will be going with you!” Kristine said. “Really, is it true?” I asked. Since Jane is one of my favorite female bodyguards I have. She is like my best friend and of course fan girls with me over Exo. Jane enters surprised. “Did you called me Kristine?”  Jane asked. “Yeah, you’re going with Y/n to a Exo concert, listen you’re going because you need to protect her and because, I know you’re also a fan” Kristine said. “But, you’re not going like that” I said. She started at me like I'm crazy or something but hey she needs this makeover, not every day you get to see you’re biases , I'm right or I'm right?  Jane talked Kristine over and over again about buying her concert tickets and she going with me and I was much as excited as she is. “Alice, please do you’re magic to Jane, she needs it” I said. “But do it quickly we have one hour left and we already need to be there!” I said. She obeyed and transformed Jane into a very lovely, and pretty women, I know she is. “Ok, Jane! Are you ready”  I asked. “YASS!” she screamed. We walked out of our hotel room and headed down to the lobby and ordered a taxi. The taxi driver pulled and told us to get in. We did and told the driver our designated location and he gladly drove us. We finally arrived and I could feel my anxiety again pecking in. “Calm down, Y/N” you’ll be alright, there’s no need for you to feel nervous or anything ,I am here and probably nobody here knows who you are” she said. I just calmed myself and just smiled at her. We got down of the car and headed straight into the concert stadium. It was huge! and I was so awed. by it. “So I am going to preform here tomorrow, it’s so big!” I said and felt kind of nervous. “Yeah” said Jane. “Excuse, may I see you’re tickets” a security guard asked. “Umm yeah sure” I said as looked around for the tickets in my purse. “Jane, I don’t the tickets!” I said as I started to panic. “Yeah, I know” she started to laugh as she took out the tickets. Huh, probably Kristine gave it to her without me realizing it. We handed him our tickets and headed straight into the area. Jane walked me through our seats and just as we sat the concert started and the introduction of Exo played through the screens.  Throughout the  I could feel somebody staring at me so casually. But I every time I tried to meet the strangers gaze at me, there was nobody looking . After 2 hours the concert was over. I was already satisfied and super duper happy that I got this chance.  “Are you Y/N ready to see them, specially, you know who” she said while winking at me. “Yeah, of course but what happens if he doesn’t like me at all” I said to her sounding nervous.  “Chanyeol would be crazy if he doesn’t like you at all....I bet he’s a fan of you” she said sounding very sincere. “Nah, I don’t think he’ll like my music or even my voice”. I responded. “Are you NUTS!, she said you are the AMAZING Y/N!, you have a very beautiful, strong and angelic voice, that anyone would be jealous of!” She said practically screaming because of the fans screaming. “Sh......remember don’t blow our cover!” I said to Jane shushing her. “Oh yeah, I forgot” she said. I could the feel the stares of the fans on me. We got out to the meet and greet line and we where practically the last ones in the line except they are other two other fans behind us. We waited for an half an hour and it was almost out turn. “Next” I heard a security guard scream. It was my turn and I was so happy slash nervous. Jane gave me encouraging look, as she walked with me over to the guys. Everyone signed my CD and smiled at me. Until, it got to Chanyeol. “Huh, aren’t you the girl that I bumped into earlier” he said. I knew it was him that I bumped into. “Do you mean at the lobby at the hotel?” I said smiling nervously. “Yeah, so you are the one!” he said. “Yeah” I said. Baekhyun looked at me with a serious and said. “Aren’t you Y/N?” he asked. “The Y/N pop singer from America that has an amazing voice?” he asked again. “Umm, I don’t think so. I think you are mistaken me” I lied. “But, your voice and you’re physical appearance looks so much alike” he said. I just shrugged. “Yeah she is” Jane blurted out. I looked at her with a annoyed face.. “See, she is the one we where talking about Kyungsoo, doesn’t she has an amazing voice” Baekhyun practically screamed. I could feel the fans talking out their phones and  taking pictures and being amazed because I like their music. “Sh...Baekhyun can’t you see she is uncomfortable right now!”  Chanyeol said angry to Baekhyun. “You see Miss Y/N Chanyeol has been a fan of you ever since you made it big” Baekhyun said. I could see Chanyeol blushing and being kind of shy. “I’ve been a fan ever since you guys started, ever since 2012″ I said making it less embarrassing for Chanyeol but it was true. I could the guys smiling and thanking me for my support for them and that they were very happy because of that. “So do you agree to go on a Date with me tomorrow?” Chanyeol whispered. “Yeah...” I said and we quickly exchanged our numbers. “Sorry to interrupt but, Y/N but we have to go, Kristine called and told me to quickly escort you back safely to our hotel” Jane said. “Okay” I said. “Well, I have to go” I said sounding kind of sad as I walked out “It was nice meeting you!” I could hear Baekhyun scream. 

The next day came fast as I wanted it to be. I got a text later the night before that the date was going to be at lunch, since I couldn’t do it at night; since my concert was the next day. I told Alice that I had very special date and that I need her magic for it. She gladly accept it. I quickly got dressed and waited for Chanyeol to call me in order to head down to the lobby where he would wait for me. After 5 minutes of waiting, I finally got the text and quickly headed down to the lobby, As I got of the elevator, I saw how nervously Chanyeol waited for me. That made me, to like him more than I had before. I walked towards him but he didn’t notice me because he wasn’t facing my direction. I tapped his shoulder and he surprisingly looks at me but then he let out a very charming smile. I smiled back. “Hello, you look so beautiful today” he said. “What would you like to eat?” he asked. “I would love to have some Ramen”I said with twinkles in my eyes. “So you love Ramen, I never expected that from you” he said sounding surprised. “Well, they are pretty tasty and also I would love to have what Japanese call ‘muchi’ I think is what they call him, you know the rice cake but not what you guys call ‘Tteokbokki’, umm I mean the sweet rice cake that you eat as a desert” I said sounding nervous. “Oh I know what you mean!” he said. “I know the perfect place for Ramen and ‘Muchi’ “ he said. “Lets go” he grabbed my hand and we headed out of the hotel and into a taxi.  The drive took about 15 minutes and we finally arrived. It was a nice little but cute place. He again grabbed my hand and lead me into the restaurant. “I heard this restaurant is famous for both of the things you asked” he said smiling. “Yeah” I said. We got seated and I told him to order for me, since I wanted to be surprise. His choices amazed me and I love every single dish he ordered for me. We laugh and talked for a very long time, that I lost track of time. I learn we had so much in common and by every moment I keep losing my mind over him. I just can’t believe that this was happening to me. The enchanting moment got ruined because Kristine called me and started to scream over the phone and I soon realized that I was late for my rehearsing. “Chanyeol, I loved very much our time together, but I have to go. I’ll be late for my rehearsal.” I started to explain to him why I had to leave all of a sudden. He understood me and told me “ I loved being with you, just let me know when you come to Korea in order to give you a good tour of my country” he said sounding kind of sad. “Ok” I agreed to it. “Be safe!” he said. As I walked out of the restaurant and into the a taxi. Thinking I might never see him again.

Present time: 

After that day, we never missed a conversation. He always called me and asked me about everything. I actually thought that he might never confessed his feeling for me, until the day that I decided to give him a surprise in Korea. It was the happiest day of my life.We decided to both rent out an apartment in Seoul for my convenience in order for me to not be, in hotels all the time. Every time I visit him we went on dates and died everything that a couple does, which was probably every 3 months or so; until my schedule clears up, then I can finally stay with for months but as of now we both have very busy schedules.  In this year we actually about to have our 1 year anniversary of boyfriend and girlfriend and since I finished my schedule, I would be flying out to Korea just to see my loving boyfriend, which is very dear to me. I called him and told him that in a couple of hours I would be arriving in South Korea, he agreed to come and pick me up. After boarding and the hours of flight being over, I finally arrived at South Korea. I would that country so much, the scenery is so beautiful and not to even mention their beauty and skin care products. My handsome boyfriend was waiting for me outside with a bouquet of beautiful dark red roses. I smiled but his returning smile was cold and distant. I just shrugged it off, thinking I might be imagining it. I headed into the car and Chanyeol got my bags and placed in the trunk and headed into the drivers seat. I smiled at him and tried to kiss him but he kind of pushed me away and gave me his cheek to kiss. “Is there something wrong” I asked. “No” he said and we did not speak at all on the journey to our apartment. I decided to wait until we get to the apartment to discuss the matter. After the long and boring drive, we finally arrived. I got out of the passenger seat and opened the trunk and got out my bags, Chanyeol grabbed the heavy ones and placed them in the bedroom we both share. “Chanyeol” I called. He quickly came to me. “Can we talk”  I said with pleading eyes. “Fine” he muffled under his breath. “What is wrong with you, I barely even know you with this attitude of yours” I said sounding calm. “Attitude, huh, is that what you call it?” he said sounding angry. “Yes, I do but seriously I want to know what’s wrong” I said still pleading for his answer. “I can’t take it anymore, I can’t be in this relationship. We are both busy and we barely see each other” he said raising his arms over to his head. “But....I thought you said you love me!” I said with almost tears in my eyes, waiting to not hear the words ‘I want to break up with you’ but as soon as I thought them he said them sounding serious. “But...but...what about our love, our relationship” I said with tears streaming down my eyes. “It all died” he said sounding cold. “It all died, huh?” I said as the words repeated over and over my head. I started to shake and could feel my anxiety pecking. I quickly grabbed the car keys that were in the kitchen and storm out of the apartment. I opened the door of the car and plugged the car key and turn it on and drove out as quickly as I could of the corner if my eyes I could see Chanyeol just starring as I drove off. I decided to just let it all out. My hands shaking, tears rolling down my eyes. I feared one day this would happen and it did. As my vision turned blurry and my breathing hard, I couldn’t see well that night, and so without me realizing it, I got into the wrong side of the road but just as I was about to pull to the other side and I got hit by a truck, in which resulted in my car being squashed into side and the car turning uncontrollably until it stopped by a three. After that I lost all conscience.  

“Y/N, Y/N” I could feel somebody calling. I opened my eyes and saw myself in a weird room. I looked around all I could see were gadgets that belonged to a hospital so that means I am in a hospital. “Y/N!” Jane screamed. “You are alive!” Kristine said with excitement. “What happened to me...I ...I .. Ouch” I screamed in pain. “Easy girl, you got into a serious accident, If it wasn’t for that Jerk who put you in this position” Kristine started to say. “Yeah, the doctor told you got into an accident because of a your anxiety, that the anxiety was caused because of something very painful and stressful situation you experienced right before you’re accident.”  Jane explained. I just nodded. “I need to see her, you don’t understand..I need to see her” I heard a sobbing voice say. “Gentlemen, you can’t be here, you are prohibited to see her” a nurse said. I pecked out of my corner of my eyes and it was Chanyeol. He looked so devastated. He looked like he haven’t sleep or eaten in days. I started to cry because I hated seeing him in this state because of me. Jane looked at me and went directly to the nurse and “Let him in, its okay” He ran to me and started to kiss. “I” he started to say but his tears started to flow. I also started to cry. Jane grabbed Kristine out of the room to give us some privacy. “ I am so sorry, I have never had let you go” he started to say while shaking and sobbing. “ Love you so much, and I realized that very late. I thought you had died” he said with so much fear in his voice and he help me close and hugged for the longest time. I cried with him. “ Will you forgive me?, I promise to never be a jerk, you are my everything” he pleaded while tears rang down his yes. “Yes” I said with tears on my eyes. He then kissed passionately and I kissed him back with  equal affection. 

I hope you guys liked it. Have a good  day or night. I apologize for any errors. 

[bigyack-com]

Neiman Marcus Files for Bankruptcy

In March 2019, the luxury retailer Neiman Marcus opened its first outpost in Manhattan. Spread over three floors and 188,000 square feet, the store was an anchor tenant of the gleaming Hudson Yards development and, the company’s chief executive said, a new kind of “retail theater.” It boasted in-house aestheticians, live cooking and mixology demonstrations, and fitting rooms complete with interactive touch screens.The executive, Geoffroy van Raemdonck, was about a year into the job and had already hired a slew of new executives, including a chief for the company’s other jewel in New York, Bergdorf Goodman. Each of the hires, he said in a late November interview with The New York Times, has “a passion for transforming our business.”“They all believe that not only are we going to delight our customers by bringing to them unique and curated experiences, but they really believe that we are traveling a new course for how the retail industry and department store are transforming themselves,” Mr. van Raemdonck said.On Thursday, all of that came to an abrupt halt when Neiman Marcus became the first major department store group to file for bankruptcy protection during the coronavirus pandemic. It’s a stunning fall that follows the collapse of Barneys New York late last year and comes as shadows gather over chains like Lord & Taylor and J.C. Penney.The company entered Chapter 11 restructuring proceedings in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Southern District of Texas.In a letter to customers, Mr. van Raemdonck emphasized that the business was not liquidating and that it planned to reopen stores once it was safe to do so.“This is simply a process that allows our company to alleviate debt, access additional capital to run the business during these challenging times, and emerge a stronger company with the ability to better serve you and continue our transformation over the long term,” he said.Covid-19 temporarily forced the closing of all 43 Neiman Marcus stores across the country, as well as the group's two Bergdorf Goodman stores and Last Call outlets, all but stopping sales and crushing the company’s revenue streams. While that may have been the immediate cause of the company’s troubles, its problems had been building for years. An untenable debt burden accrued as part of two leveraged buyouts by private-equity firms and changing consumer shopping habits combined to render its position precarious even before the virus hit.The pandemic has been disastrous for the already weakened retail industry. In March, the sales of clothing and accessories fell by more than half. Those numbers are expected to be worse for April, considering that many stores were open for at least some of March. Retailers have furloughed employees, slashed corporate salaries and hoarded cash in a desperate attempt to make it to the end of the shutdown. This week, J. Crew, the mass-market retailer, also filed for bankruptcy protection, as did John Varvatos, the men’s wear brand. There is widespread belief the trend is likely to continue.Neiman Marcus said it would “continue to assess store closure decisions” for Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman and Last Call and reopen once it was safe to do so. Ten Neiman Marcus stores are now offering curbside pickup, and some temporary store closings will continue through May 31.In a statement, the company said it would receive $675 million in financing from creditors to keep running the business, as well as $750 million in exit financing from the same creditors. It hopes to emerge from bankruptcy by “early fall.” The creditors will become majority owners of Neiman Marcus, which expects to eliminate $4 billion in debt.“It is a change of ownership by which our debt holders are forfeiting $4 billion in debt in exchange for owning the N.M.G. business operations,” Mr. van Raemdonck said in an internal video sent to employees on Thursday.William Susman, managing director at Threadstone Advisors, said he expected the retailer to use bankruptcy to shed some of its leases and reduce its physical footprint, a situation that could make it more attractive to a potential buyer.“Neiman Marcus has a bad balance sheet, but it’s still a luxury brand,” Mr. Susman said. “They still have a reason to exist.”Neiman Marcus was founded in Dallas in 1907, just in time to become a magnet for new oil money. It built its reputation on an unabashed embrace of the trappings of luxury — and the dreams of those who aspired to own them, or experience them for a moment. It became famous for its extravagant Christmas catalog, which over the years offered items like an authentic Guinness pub-in-your-home for $250,000 and a $20 million submarine.The company’s mastermind was Stanley Marcus, son of one of the founders — Herbert Marcus. (The other founders were Herbert’s sister, Carrie Marcus Neiman, and Carrie’s husband, A.L. Neiman.) Under his guidance, Neiman Marcus became the first department store to hold a weekly fashion show for customers. On the occasion of the Texas Centennial Fair in 1936, the store held a special extravaganza it called “100 Years of Texas Fashions,” and Edna Woolman Chase, the editor of Vogue and a guest, said: “I dreamed all my life of the perfect store for women. Then I saw Neiman Marcus, and my dream had come true.”It became such an institution that in 1983, Frederick Wiseman made a documentary about it titled, simply, “The Store.” At that point, it was in the midst of a countrywide expansion that culminated in a public stock offering in 1999 by Harcourt General, the book publisher and the store’s then-owner.Six years later, during private equity’s first, somewhat misguided flirtation with luxury, a leveraged buyout by TPG and Warburg Pincus took it off the market for about $5.1 billion — and its debt problems began. The company weathered the financial crisis and changed hands in 2013, when it was sold to a group led by Ares Management, another private-equity firm, and the Canada Pension Plan Investment Board in a $6 billion deal. Since then, the business has evolved in fits and starts.Neiman Marcus filed to go public in 2015, which would have helped pay down its debt, but an initial public offering never materialized. Its last public annual report was for the year that ended in July 2018, when its revenue was $4.9 billion and its net interest expense of $307 million exceeded its net profit of $251 million. The company has spent much of the last two years working to restructure a crushing burden of long-term debt that was reported at almost $5 billion a year ago. Last year, it managed to push the bulk of its maturities back to late 2023.Moody’s said last May that Neiman Marcus’s debt levels had reached “unsustainable levels.” As it is at most department stores, part of Neiman Marcus’s challenge has been transforming itself for customers who increasingly do their shopping online. Luxury brands like Neiman’s were slow to accept the idea of e-commerce, believing that the in-person experience was crucial to high-ticket sales. In 2014, in a shortcut to digital prowess, it acquired the successful German-based website MyTheresa.com, which had made a name for itself as an early competitor to Net-a-Porter.But MyTheresa has become a major point of contention for a group of bondholders, who have been arguing since 2018 that Neiman Marcus improperly transferred MyTheresa’s valuable assets to the company’s owners, leaving little to protect holders of the company’s unsecured debt. MyTheresa.com is not included in the bankruptcy filing.Though Mr. van Raemdonck said in the video to employees that the bankruptcy did not mean the company would be sold, speculation has begun about a potential acquisition.Richard Baker, the chief executive of Hudson’s Bay, which owns Saks Fifth Avenue, explored buying Neiman Marcus in 2017. A combined Saks and Neiman Marcus-Bergdorf Goodman would consolidate the few high-end department stores that remain. Saks has also licensed use of the Barneys New York label.Another name that has been mentioned as a possible buyer of Bergdorf Goodman (though not Neiman Marcus) is the luxury behemoth LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton.Until very recently, Neiman’s felt it was in a good position. When asked about Barneys in November, Mr. van Raemdonck expressed his dismay that the storied brand had fallen, but he emphasized that its challenges stood apart from Neiman’s properties.“Every single store we have at Neiman Marcus Group, the brand or Bergdorf, they’re all profitable,” he said.Michael J. de la Merced contributed reporting.Contact Vanessa Friedman at vanessa.friedman@nytimes.com or Sapna Maheshwari at sapna@nytimes.com. Read the full article

[a-alex-hammer]

Hands-on: The War of The Worlds Combines Theater With VR In London

Jeff Wayne’s The War of The Worlds: The Immersive Experience is a musical interpretation of the classic H.G. Wells science-fiction story. The project has been around for some 40 years as a rock opera musical experience with an album that’s sold 14 million copies and many sell-out stage performances too. Now, it has been re-created as a theatrical experience with VR interspersed throughout.

The new ‘War of the Worlds’ experience is focused on vignettes based around the key events from the rock opera.

The Location

Guests buy their tickets and reserve their slot online and arrive at an imposing building in London that has been transformed for the experience. On entering, guests are greeted by a giant (captured) Martian scout. After being registered, and assigned to their group, they wait at the ‘Spirit of Man’ bar. They then enter the attraction and are led through the story of the Martian invasion first narrated via an impressive holographic screen – only then to be thrown back in time to the events themselves.

Three kinds of immersive technology are employed in the experience – first with 3D viewers that usher the audience into the world of the 1800’s. Placed in a themed observatory viewing the heavens. This star gazing experience is interrupted by the devastating Martian invasion, and one of the live actors becomes the first victim to the invaders through an impressive practical special effect. The guests are then ushered deeper into the the venue by a soldier, where they take refuge in a nearby house only to be confronted in a darkened sequence by the aliens.

Backpack VR With Vive

We moved to the first use of full VR in the experience – the guests donning backpack PC’s and putting on HTC Vive headsets; they exit the house and enter a virtual re-creation of the countryside and come face to face with a 300-foot Martian fighting machine – gazing up as this monster blasts the surrounding landscape with its heat ray; rushing to a bridge for shelter the group then exit, helping their wounded guide.

Then to the second VR experience, groups jump onboard boats that are steered by their guide. This ends up in the heart of the naval battle between the Royal Navy battleship Thunder Child – protecting an escaping ferry from the attack of a Martian fighting machine. Escaping by only the skin of their teeth, the audience is ushered to ‘The Red Weed Bar’, where a pause in the action takes place and guests can purchase drinks.

The action resumes, rushed from the pub to a church. Guests in confessional boxes don their VR headsets again to see what’s happening in the church. Eventually, the audience stumbles on the underground remnants of humanity and see their fanciful plans to rebuild from underground – this enigmatic part of the “rock-opera” recreated using a dome display. Guests lay back within the enclosures, soaring through futuristic spires, from the imaginations of the mad Artilleryman.

Finally, the experience concludes once again in VR, guests entering their own personal hot air balloon that soars over the wasteland of the English country, seeing the abandoned Martian machines, as they succumb to destruction by the natural microbes of the planet. After this extravaganza the audience re-emerge into the main lobby of the attraction and the ‘Spirit of Man’ bar, where it all started.

The Achievement

One of the major elements the developer successfully captured is the use of motion-captured actors, rendered in the virtual environment, in a believable manner. While the technology still shows its limitations, the VR elements of the experience worked well and this is definitely something that is unachievable at home.

The 110-minute event is a two-part experience which bonds the audience together and offers a natural pause to the unfolding action. VR is used to place the audience in peril and wonder at the same time. The inclusion of a full bar with themed cocktails and refreshments, along with souvenir pictures of your group’s survival on this visit; all add to the social element of the proceedings.

At the opening of the attraction at the end of May, Andrew McGuinness – CEO of dotdotdot, the developers behind this undertaking, said they hoped the experience will continue beyond its initial run through August.

This attraction places the bar high for others to emulate. This is much longer than the 15 or so minutes of “Hyper-Reality” experiences, such as The VOID’s ‘Star Wars: Secrets of the Empire’. This is also more of an audience experience than an interactive VR game installed at an arcade somewhere. The 110-minute “immersive theatrical experience” charges some £49.50 ($62) per ticket. I was provided free entry to evaluate the experience.

About The Author

Kevin Williams is an author and presenter, as well as a consultant, specializing in the immersive out-of-home entertainment industry. He co-authored the book  “The Out-of-Home Interactive Entertainment Frontier” and is working on a new edition. He can be reached at kwp@thestingerreport.com

Tagged with: experiences, location based

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Source/Repost=> http://technewsdestination.com/hands-on-the-war-of-the-worlds-combines-theater-with-vr-in-london/ ** Alex Hammer | Founder and CEO at Ecommerce ROI ** http://technewsdestination.com

[uterusclub]

What better way to kick off the month of May then with fresh, awesome tattoos! I mean, we made it just about 2 months since our last ones so we were clearly, well overdue! And as always, we booked our appointments with the most talented and awesome, Jackie at Stained in Pain! Designs? Sharon opted for a Sailor Moon wand (nerd!) and I acquired yet another animal (bunny) on my ‘spirit animal’ forearm. While we waited in much restless anticipation, we played a ‘which one would you get’ game with the tattoo panels on display. “You have to pick one” Sharon said as she turned panel after panel and we met with much horror and often, disgust! Once Sharon was up, I hung out in the threshold lobby and quickly became friends with some older, Latina ladies. The one woman was getting her noise pierced and had been considering getting a tattoo for quite some time so she pelted me with just about every possible question involving tattoos which I hardly minded – especially since she was most complimentary about mine. After Sharon finished up, we got started on mine at which point, I was lulled into a complete state of calm. Probably could have taken a nap had I not been starving. Tattoos complete, we thanked Jackie and made our way a few blocks around the corner to BATL Chicago for some free axe-throwing.

Yes, you read that correct. And actually, we had been meaning to try this out for quite some time but the scheduling just never panned out. This time, all was perfect – even if we anticipated staying for just a few moments to get some good videos and pictures. The place wasn’t crazy crowded when we arrived but there were definitely clusters of people hanging out at picnic tables situated behind the axe-throwing stalls. We proceeded to the front counter and ‘registered’ ourselves before acquiring wrist bans and being directed into a stall. So there we stood, bandaged like potential drug addicts with no idea as to how any of this worked. Some very nice people chilling in our line explained that everyone rotated turns. They even pointed us out to the instructor for our section who told us to ‘listen in’ as he explained procedures and rules to another couple throwing before us. Seemed fairly easy. Throw the thing and like, hit the thing. Once we stepped up for our turn though, self-pressure was ON! I managed to hit either way too high or far too low. Sharon was merely trying to stick something ON the actual board. At some point, Sharon got a hit and I ended up on a bullseye that was conveniently not captured but I promise you it was legit. And on both of those notes, we were satisfied to end our night of merriment and unbandage ourselves at the home front.

  Our adventures this month have not only brought us physical endeavors but musical ones as well. For the past few months and out of disdain for my ‘usual’ programmed stations, I’ve been listening to a college radio station, 88.7. As a result, I’ve come across many awesome bands and singer/song-writers one of which, Sharon also became invested. After completely falling in love with the soft, buttery sound of Bruno Major, there was no hesitation in purchasing tickets to see him perform at Lincoln Hall. We pregamed the evening with dinner at Red Lion Pub because, well, it’s allegedly haunted and literally down the street from the music venue. We were seated in a quiet, fireplaced room with a tall ceiling and vintage decor which was all ours for a few minutes. Food was absolutely stellar. To kill time, we made our way to Sprinkles Cupcakes down the street which I wasn’t impressed with (not enough sugar in the frosting) but Sharon was a huge fan of. Having killed as much time as possible, we finally headed to Lincoln Hall where we grabbed a couple drinks and made our way to the upstairs balcony to perfect viewing. Ah, balconies and sitting – two of our most beloved and logistical preferences for concerts. The opener for Bruno Major was a young girl by the name of ‘Eloise‘ we would later see performing with our headliner. She was, magical! Her voice was mesmerizing and we were both blown away. Unfortunately, the asshats sitting next to Sharon weren’t of the same persuasion as they began talking and messing around with their phones for the duration of the entire time we were there. Fucking RUDE! But moving along. Once Bruno Major took stage, I couldn’t help but feel a little under- whelmed. His voice was well, from what I could tell, just as stellar as the radio but it was drowned out by the instruments surrounding him. He also wasn’t as charismatic on stage as his predecessor. But he did perform two of my ‘favorites’ of which I couldn’t have been more please.

May could not be complete without a celebration of Cinco de Mayo or rather, Cinco de Meow Meow as we call it. And this, was like no other you will EVER hear of. It is a tale of danger, violence, courage and above all things, ridiculousness. We had previously discussed the idea of making a Uterus pinata to commemorate Cinco De Meow Meow for quite some time. Why? Well, why not? That’s the short answer. The long one, we’ll leave to your imagination. In any case, with my hectic schedule and Sharon’s abundant, craft activities, it didn’t appear likely we would have time to make said pinata. Instead, I rallied to purchase one online which DO exist, mind you, but they’re fairly expensive – at least the shipping was. So I did what any resourceful individual would do and turned to the sideshow that is Facebook Marketplace. If you’re unaware, you can basically buy anything online from anyone. People sell home-made food and hair-braiding so it wasn’t unheard of to attempt to purchase a Uterus pinata there. Added entertainment? The lady I contacted only spoke/wrote in Español. And although I’ve had an embarrassing amount of escuela throughout high school and college, I turned to trusty Google Translate to help pave the way! So we went back and forth. She wasn’t charging me much but she was located in an area I’d consider the ‘ghetto.’ So who was to be sure we wouldn’t be murdered upon arrival? But obviously, this was going to still happen. The morning of, Sharon was surprisingly calm about driving us into the ‘hood’ of the southside. Apparently she was semi-familiar with the area. I was having literal heart palpitations. We arrived at our destination and a man came outside to meet me with a ginormous Uterus pinata! I joked that I hadn’t expected it to be so big and felt almost bad we weren’t being charged more. Throwing it in the backseat, we made a quick stop-off to my parent’s house to borrow some old bats and rope and grabbed some red, dollar-store candy to store inside our masterpiece. Once home, we changed into our ‘get-ups’ ie. Mariachi t-shirts, hats, and mustaches and carried the pinata with our bats across the street to Wilson Park. I wanted to hang the pinata up in a nearby tree with kids in the background for irony sake but Sharon’s embarrassment forced us to walk farther into the park towards a more deserted area. Once we settled on a spot, I rigged a pulley system (which surprisingly worked – mostly) and we set up our camera for much anticipated violence. Passer-byers gawked but I could care less. Sharon felt the need to attempt explanation which, well, was futile. Destroying that Uterus didn’t take much. It was hilarious and very therapeutic and in all truth, I’d love to begin and end each and everyday that way. After cleaning up the remnants of victory, we made our way back home and made food and drinks while taking in some most appropriate, Three Amigos.

Remember 2006? Yes, I agree, very vaguely but I DO recall the birth of a band called Hellogoodbye. Yes, I bought that album with all the smash hits and never thought of them again . . . until the here and now when I realized they were touring at The Chop Shop. Being most intrigued and expecting nothing short of throw-back central, I Spotified the crap out of what I discovered to be newer albums of theirs? Obviously I had lost track of them but was pleasantly surprised and awed in the sound transformation. They definitely didn’t sound like 2006 anymore but it felt as though they had ‘matured’ in the same sense that I had. It was more mellow and a bit, more complex, dare I say? In any case, I sent my new ‘favorites’ of theirs to Sharon for a once-over who was equally awed and impressed. This was going to ROCK! If you’re unfamiliar, Chop Shop is a fairly intimate venue situated inside a butcher store/restaurant in Wicker Park. We took this opportunity to blue line it for the purposes of hitting up the Robin Williams Mural located randomly in Logan Square. Were it not for the obstructive vehicles in the parking lot, the sight, I’m sure would have been even more magnanimous. The blue pop of genie carries a sad, yet empowering truth and conviction to it – if you ask me. I donned my L.E.D. shoes for the occasion which I switched to color-coordinate for the evening. For pre-game, we hiked it over to Sharon’s most beloved, Big & Littles which always makes me think of Role Models. The joint was deliciously empty and the food, most appetizing. Stomachs full, we back-tracked to the Chop House where we, you guessed it, headed straight upstairs to the balcony area but were met with no seats. Doh! Instead, we teeter-tottered back and forth from both ends of the room to finagle an ideal viewing area. We finally settled on an off-center position where we grew more and more haggered in stature and morale as the night wore on. Not only was the opening bad terrible, but the in between set-up took an ungodly amount of time. By the time Hellogoodbye appeared, we had neither time, patience, or will to stay much longer. Sharon was ultimately pissed that no ‘older’ songs were played while I basked in listening to two, newer ones I had become most familiar with. And I’ve gotta give credit to the band for the ostentatious set-up with lights and balloons and colorful curtains but all in all, 2006 called far too late.

Now I’m no marathon runner by any means, but sometimes, I can pull off a 19 hour activity extravaganza! It’s a rare occasion but a truly worth-while one. The morning began with a little update to our patio decor. If you’re unaware at this point, we create ‘scenes’ outside our apartment windows in which our ‘old lady skeletons’ are showcased. With the upcoming summer and our trip to Hawaii on the horizon, we felt it appropriate to hula the crap outta everything. And so we coconut-braed and lei-ed our ladies with an attempt at including a life-size, pink, inflatable coffin in the picture but this became far too burdensome for space and picture purposes – although our neighbor across the way heartily agreed with our overambitious endeavors. After running over to my dance studio for a quick rehearsal, I drove back home and picked up Sharon to make our way over to Skokie for some Bunny Yoga. And let’s be honest here, yoga is one of my least favorite things in the world. I respect those who do it, I just don’t understand it. So having said that, we were most obviously there for the bunnies and nothing else. We arrived early (as always) and set up our mats in a smallish room where other people had already began to gather. As the time wore closer to the start of class, the room became almost claustrophobic with bodies. There was no pre-registration which made this free-for-all, just plain dumb! Three bunnies arrived and upon being released, kept mostly to the front part of the room. Eventually, the ladies running the operator, placed them in other areas of the room for a more interactive experience. I was in absolute heaven! The yoga – I vaguely recall – as my only focus was relocating bunnies and their proximity to me. Best yoga class ever! But never again.

The day proceeded with more, fun-filled activities. Our most beloved friend, Tina drove to our apartment at which point, we all made our way to a restaurant by the name of Short Fuse. The joint was super spacious and the wall art was quite the sight! And while the drinks were mostly beer, the food was dece and the service impeccable. Sharon and I salvaged our thirst for the next stop on the agenda – a bar in Schiller Park that had piqued my interested – Sway Bar. I had enjoyed their promotional images and had read many good reviews so it made sense to take a trip out to see it. I can’t say I was impressed – nor was I let-down by actually going there. The place was artsy and chill – major points for Banksey paintings on the walls. They also had a pool table which we took advantage of. Our bartander was outstanding and I felt quite at home hanging out there – people watching many strange individuals inbetween pool shots. At some point, an old school-mate of Tina’s and future acquaintenance of mine appeared. Small world indeed.

But wait, there’s more! After adequate booze consumption, we now headed over to Triton College’s Cernan Earth and Space Center for a Motown Laser Show! That’s right. If you didn’t know about this, you’re welcome. I’ve actually known about this for quite some time but hadn’t been in the longest. Tina was also aware of it’s existence. So we showed up, early again, and ventured into the gift shop to purchase tickets which Sharon got for a crazy, discounted price (pretend to be a student or senior). We then sat and chilled for an hour (felt longer somehow) of explosive shapes coordinated to groovy Motown tunes. People clapped in between (we’re too cool for that) and I may have yelled out ‘Stevie!’ when Superstition kicked on. All in all, it was a decent time. As Sharon put it, I’m sure it would have been more enjoyable on drugs. If that wasn’t enough, our night still wasn’t over.

Fortunately, a second wind kicked in as we made our way over to Native Bar in Logan Square for their 90’s themed Silent Disco. If you’ve never done this, you simply must. The concept is this. You get headphones to switch between three different DJ’s all playing different styled music. Our options? Alternative, pop and hip-hop. The different stations are designated by ‘color’ on your headphones – which is how you decipher who is listening to what. We arrived right at the kick-off hour of 10 p.m. The set-up was actually outside in the backyard area of the bar. We began immediately jamming out right in front of the DJ tables accompanied by lights and fog. For the next three hours, we dance-partied our asses off and I’ve never had more fun! Let me, at this time, remind you that Sharon and I generally go to sleep at 9 p.m. By the time 1 a.m. rolled around and we were met with an alien-voiced announcement over headphones that the event was over, we were very disappointed and could have gone on for hours. Sharon and Tina complained about knee discomfort (there was lots of jumping) but I was in tip-top shape (thanks, dance) and had zero complaints. It wasn’t until the next morning that my head may have had an alcohol-induced complaint or two. But all in all, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Going a bit out of order but I’ll clump them together, we hit the movies twice this month. The first show we saw was The Hustle which if you’re unfamiliar, is basically a girl-rendition remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I’d grown up on this movie and can repeat several scenes by memory so I was super excited when I first saw the trailer. Sharon was unfamiliar with the original movie so we made a point to watch it the night before. When we arrived at the AMC in Norridge to watch it, we noticed slight chaos inside the theater. A younger, hoodlumy fellow was outside and informed us that there had been a fire and everything was shut down. “They aint even got any popcorn!” he also proclaimed which I responded with much incredulous-ness. Still, we had 30 minutes til our show so we figured it was still salvageable. Once inside, we headed to the ticket line which was ever-growing with a frustrated, angry mob for refunds. Behind us in line, we listened to the altercation of two gang-sounding members who threatened to what I can only assume, murder each other, in so many words. Talk about your wholesome activity. The only highlight was seeing our friend, Sue towards the end of line whom we lost track of and didn’t get to actually say ‘hi’ to. In any case, tickets purchased, we watched what I would review as a very fun, accurate portrayal of the original which I would most likely watch/purchase in the near future.

The second, more recent movie we saw this month was Aladdin. And let’s preface this by saying our expectations were low. Very low. Solely based on the previews and the fact that Robin Williams can never been trumped. We even pre-gamed at Park Tavern in Rosemont for some $8 mimosa carafes before the show to guarantee less annoyance/viewing pain but alas, the movie was still fairly dreadful. Granted, this IS a children’s film and all, but as the ‘children’ who grew up on this movie, it paled in comparison in terms of magic and authenticity. Let me also take a moment to discuss the forced ‘girl power’ message attempt that the world of today keeps shoving down our throats. It’s too much, it’s too obvious and it’s too annoying. Due to alcohol intoxication, my bladder needed several breaks during the movie which I was not reluctant to take as I knew I would be missing absolutely nothing.

In closing and only because it’s coming to an end soon, I mentioned attending a dance rehearsal earlier. The whole point of this was, indeed, for rehearsal but more specifically because of our ‘bring a friend to dance‘ week which occurred just last week. This is both fun and nerve-wrecking as we get to finally ‘show’ but we’ve been working on since November and what is to be expected for our recital in a few weeks. The nerves are a results of people sitting fairly close to you – not to mention Sharon sitting in the exact area I dance the most around. I forewarned that I would most likely, almost die after our lyrical piece, ‘Survivor’ which ended up being the favorite of the crowd. Everything else was a blur really.

All in all, the spring or rather, pre-summer has proven to be of much consequence. Music and dance were most substantial. Exciting and disappointing endeavors were had and much was shown for it all. And as we kick-off the summer of 2019 with even higher expectations of future trips, I’ve no doubt, we’ll find some charming nitches in between the cracks and cranies of this life.

Charmed, I’m Sure What better way to kick off the month of May then with fresh, awesome tattoos! I mean, we made it just about 2 months since our last ones so we were clearly, well overdue!

[mccartneynathxzw83]

A Miami Beach Conference United Art and Tech A-Listers to Make the Case for Blockchain—And Ended as an Allegory of Market Mayhem

A Miami Beach Conference United Art and Tech A-Listers to Make the Case for Blockchain—And Ended as an Allegory of Market Mayhem

Nearly halfway through “The Art of Blockchains,” the star-studded, half-day conference hosted by billionaire collector, gallerist, and entrepreneur Adam Lindemann to explore the art world’s awkward romance with blockchain technology, New Museum director Lisa Phillips succinctly verbalized the fundamental tension haunting the shared space. “We’ve heard a lot about value,” she said, “but not a lot about values.”

Phillips was only referring to the two discussions that preceded her own panel in the day’s program. But her observation cut through some of the ambient hype and to the heart of the major question that needs to be addressed if this technology—or any other—can ever yield a transformational future for the art market.

After an occasionally revelatory, sometimes-exasperating, frequently surreal five hours, the conference deserves credit for surfacing truly foundational questions about art’s relationship to innovation, especially among an art-world guest list that would otherwise rarely, if ever, engage on these specific terms. It united, among others, Phillips and Museum of Modern Art curator Stuart Comer with guests like Pace vice president Adam Sheffer and Armory Show director Nicole Berry.

Just how many attendees registered the dramatic scale of the implications, let alone walked away willing to take action because of them, remains the most relevant questions.

New Museum director Lisa Phillips and Adam Lindemann.

Viewfinders

To say that blockchain has been a popular topic in the art world this year would be a laughable understatement—indeed, this wasn’t even the only major blockchain confab of the week.

Eventbrite lists an all-week “Blockchain World Conference,” not particularly art-focused but “strategically tied to the art basel festival in Miami which will attract High Net Worth individuals from all over the globe.” Elsewhere, for a ticket price listed as between $125 and $1,075, you could have gone to an “investor and entrepreneur networking event” called “Bitcoin Mansion” in the Design District. And tomorrow, at Nikki Beach Club, yet another event, dubbed “Art Decentralized,” promises a keynote by the artist known only as VESA.

“The Art of Blockchains” was by far and away the most reputable of these events, featuring an unexpected diversity of participants, and organized by Lindemann, who has studied the technology for over a year, and is an investor in multiple blockchain ventures, including Artblx, which organized the conference.

With a handful of welcome exceptions, the most consistent, nagging issue running haunting the various conversations in “The Art of Blockchains” had little to do with the specific limits or capacities of the technology itself. To my eyes and ears, it was actually about the drastic extent to which, even for very intelligent people, personal incentives can often harden a worldview and limit the imagination.

This is hardly a problem exclusive to those of us (myself included) who attended the conference. Author Chuck Klosterman has written an impish, eye-opening book about this phenomenon titled But What If We’re Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past. In it, he tours readers through multiple thought exercises proceeding from the premise that what is obvious in retrospect is often unfathomable in the moment—and vice versa.

That very human fallacy tends to be especially powerful within closed, niche groups. Just think of the aggressive (and heartening) re-evaluation of modern and postwar art now elevating the revolutionary contributions of women, people of color, and non-Westerners. If we all agree that this revision is so long overdue, why didn’t our predecessors realize it at the time? More discomfiting, what might be happening right now that we ourselves cannot begin to process?

Adam Lindemann and Square co-founder Jim McKelvey during a “fireside chat.” Photo credit: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

I raise this issue because several of the conference’s speakers seemed almost militantly oblivious to the prospect that other art lovers and potential art lovers—the untold thousands of people whose interactions with art, they contend, will be transformed by blockchains—might have radically different wants and needs than the ones that would satisfy their respective business plans. This was the obstacle Lisa Phillips targeted with her line about value versus values.

Her comment seemed motivated by the day’s first panel, where legitimately progressive ideas—building communities within a digital commons, meaningfully expanding the audience for art, finding sustainable ways to fund traditionally market-resistant media—emerged, only to be sidelined time and again by the supposed allure of “participating in art” through fractional ownership and tokenizing great works to “release liquidity” bottled up inside them, as if we were discussing the need to frack shale formations during an OPEC tantrum. Although plenty of big checks will change hands during Miami Art Week, far more people are here to see art and go to art-related parties than to actually buy art, making the rhetorical dominance of transaction-based art experiences throughout the day seem especially dissonant with the realities on the ground.

Similarly, speaker after speaker invoked the idea that blockchain was already a “disruptive technology,” and that its base-level reformation of the art trade was “inevitable”—the most revered term in Silicon Valley’s techno-capitalist dialect. Yet what blockchain has actually accomplished to date to deserve the anointing oils remains mysterious to the average citizen, besides flooding their daily experience with breathless evangelism about how blockchain and cryptocurrencies will change their lives. So far, it is less a triumph of technology than of tautology.

A “physical Bitcoin” (which is sort of a gimmick, but exists). Photo Illustration by Thomas Trutschel/Photothek via Getty Images.

Alternative History

Blockchain’s defenders would say that I’m demanding results too soon. But how long do we have to wait? While the popular genesis of cryptoculture was the appearance of Satoshi Nakomoto’s 2008 Bitcoin white paper, NYU professor Amy Whitaker pointed out later in the day that a paper detailing the underlying technology had actually been published by scientists Stuart Haber and Scott Stornetta all the way back in 1991. In short, we have had the blueprint for blockchain for 27 years, and at present, the manifestation that has reached furthest into the zeitgeist is Bitcoin, a currency that promises decentralization but has delivered a state of affairs in which 97 percent of all Bitcoin value is siloed with just four percent of Bitcoin wallet addresses, according to a Credit Suisse report earlier this year.

Granted, the art industry has only gotten started with blockchain in the past few years—late as usual, when it comes to tech—and our industry could be uniquely suited to capitalize on this technology via potential use cases like time-stamped title registries and smart contracts. But there was precious little discussion in “The Art of Blockchains” of the possibility that blockchain may simply be flawed technology, a prospect that would explain why its hype started dying out in the earlier-adopting business world months ago, and a recent study of 43 blockchain-based ventures “found no documentation or evidence of the results blockchain was purported to have achieved,” according to USAID fellow John Burg and colleagues.

To his credit, Nanne Dekking of blockchain title registry Artory spoke to this inconvenient truth in the day’s first panel by offering that he knew of “only one company with a successful blockchain use case” to date: shipping titan Maersk, which uses the technology to verify its supply chain. Yet his co-panelist, Emmanuel Aidoo, Credit Suisse’s remarkably titled “Head of Distributed Ledger Technology,” immediately scoffed, claiming that he personally runs 17 blockchain projects. He could not, however, tell us anything about them, because, in his words, “We are not public about everything we do.”

Similarly, in a thoroughly surreal “fireside chat” with Lindemann, Square co-founder Jim McKelvey began by asking whether the room would obey Chatham House Rule by anonymizing his statements if we were to write or post about them. The room said “no,” and here we are.

This odd cloak-and-dagger veneer from Aidoo and McKelvey was eerily reminiscent of the findings of that aforementioned 0-for-43 blockchain study, in which its authors said that they were unable to elicit responses through direct inquiries to any of the ventures they looked into. “Despite all the hype about how blockchain will bring unheralded transparency to processes and operations in low-trust environments, the industry is itself opaque.” The irony is thicker than the air before a South Beach thunderstorm.

Adam Lindemann with Kenny Scharf in front of Scharf’s live painting made during the Art of Blockchains luncheon. PHOTO CREDIT: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

Of Arsonists and Firefighters

Such reflections bring us to a crucial possibility raised by Whitaker: that too many people in the art-and-blockchain space are expecting a technological innovation to solve fundamentally human problems. Even the most elegant software can’t change a thing if the people involved don’t want that change to take place.

Change demands that extraordinary (and extraordinarily rare) individuals commit themselves to something that actively works against their own incentives for the sake of a greater good. To borrow a metaphor from Anand Giridharadas, whose book Winners Take All interrogates the surprisingly widespread belief that we can and should trust plutocrats (many of them rich from Big Tech) to “change the world” for the better when they are the people benefiting so disproportionately from the way the world works now, this baseline assumption is as misguided as relying on arsonists to be firefighters.

Still, that particular formulation feels too harsh to me here. The issue at “The Art of Blockchains” was less malice than myopia. People with careers in art or careers in tech tend only to see what they’ve been trained to see. But regardless of the difference in animating force, the results at the conference were the same as in Giridharadas’s formulation: As ever, the people offering the most disruptive and transformative ideas about blockchain’s potential were almost invariably the ones with the least power to implement them.

Notions of power also came to the fore through artist and Serpentine Galleries chief technology officer Ben Vickers. In the day’s final panel (alongside Whitaker), he broke from previous presenters by stressing the need to understand the actual technological details of blockchain. Why? Because the details reveal crucial information about who holds the otherwise-invisible power in an allegedly decentralized system. (For more details, just look deeper at blockchain-based fractional ownership.)

By contrast, the opening panel’s moderator happily bypassed the ins and outs of the technology once most members of the audience raised a hand to confirm they had previously heard of blockchain. And in his aforementioned “fireside chat” with Lindemann, McKelvey repeatedly hammered on the idea that the technological details would simply put everyone to sleep. (What very much woke up the people in my row was McKelvey’s backfiring joke that an artist is “somebody who sells something no one else needs,” en route to a monologue endorsing blockchain’s importance to the art world by way of his own practice as a blown-glass artist.)

Artblx co-founder and CEO Dan Long, Pace President and CEO Marc Glimcher, moderator Arthur Falls, and Credit Suisse’s Emmanuel Aidoo. Photo credit: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

The Light at the End of the Chain?

Nevertheless, there were pleasant surprises. Chief among them was Pace president and CEO Marc Glimcher, who did something vanishingly rare for a dealer in his position: admitting that the traditional art market had failed progressive artists in the past. He voiced this idea in the context of performance art, which he argued had essentially rendered painting irrelevant in the 1970s—until dealers’ inability to find a sustainable economic model for its proponents undid the medium from the inside.

However, Glimcher went further by trumpeting proof of concept for an alternative model in Pace’s recent history. He claimed that the gallery sold one million timed tickets, at $20 each, during Japanese media collective teamLab’s 14-month exhibition at Pace’s (since-closed) Menlo Park pop-up space. He also estimated that only about 10 percent of teamLab’s revenue came from selling installations, while the other 90 percent came from ticket sales.

This triumph and other evidence from Pace’s Bay Area presence (which continues via a permanent Palo Alto space) led Glimcher to declare to the audience, “Either we’re going to amend our model, or they”—meaning the next generation—“are going to do it for us.”

Whitaker, the NYU professor, alluded to a similar concept during the day’s final panel. There, she raised the possibility that the real disruptive technology within the art-and-blockchain Venn diagram was not the technology itself but rather the galvanizing opportunity for “artists acting as an organized whole” to secure their own rights. She expressed optimism about this union stemming from her belief that people are “inherently generous”—though at the self-admitted risk of naivete.

A Picture That Spoke 1,000 Words

And yet, souring this moment of hope at the conference’s close was an incident that served, in my mind, as the most indelible sight of the day.

Earlier, during a seated luncheon inside the convention center, spray-can maestro Kenny Scharf had created a live painting on a surface composed of 100 small canvases. The concept, as Lindemann explained to Bloomberg before the event, was for “every attendee to get a piece” as “a metaphor for blockchain: It’s meant to be shared.”

But that is not how things played out.

Shortly after Scharf completed his work, with no announcement, a splinter group of attendees descended on the painting and began tearing small canvases out of the matrix for themselves. Others in the room quickly abandoned their plates to charge into the scrum. The rest of us stared in awe as our former tablemates, so refined and docile moments earlier, created a 20-deep feeding frenzy for the remaining parcels of unclaimed property. Among them, a tall, bearded man with a Samson-like mane wading back through the crowd, clutching three canvases to his chest like battlefield trophies, head thrown back in laughter.

Although there were a few gift bags with pieces of Scharf’s work waiting at the check-in table outside the conference room as we returned for the afternoon’s sessions, in the end, the symbolic painting was not evenly distributed. The most aggressive and opportunistic carted away an outsized share of the gains.

As metaphors for blockchain go, I venture to guess this was not the one that Lindemann hoped for. If the highest ranks of the art world are willing to face up to the dysfunction and self-interest it revealed, then “The Art of Blockchains” could still be a historic moment regardless of the underlying technology’s fate. But as with so much else in the blockchain space, that’s a colossal “if.”

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A Miami Beach Conference United Art and Tech A-Listers to Make the Case for Blockchain—And Ended as an Allegory of Market Mayhem

A Miami Beach Conference United Art and Tech A-Listers to Make the Case for Blockchain—And Ended as an Allegory of Market Mayhem

Nearly halfway through “The Art of Blockchains,” the star-studded, half-day conference hosted by billionaire collector, gallerist, and entrepreneur Adam Lindemann to explore the art world’s awkward romance with blockchain technology, New Museum director Lisa Phillips succinctly verbalized the fundamental tension haunting the shared space. “We’ve heard a lot about value,” she said, “but not a lot about values.”

Phillips was only referring to the two discussions that preceded her own panel in the day’s program. But her observation cut through some of the ambient hype and to the heart of the major question that needs to be addressed if this technology—or any other—can ever yield a transformational future for the art market.

After an occasionally revelatory, sometimes-exasperating, frequently surreal five hours, the conference deserves credit for surfacing truly foundational questions about art’s relationship to innovation, especially among an art-world guest list that would otherwise rarely, if ever, engage on these specific terms. It united, among others, Phillips and Museum of Modern Art curator Stuart Comer with guests like Pace vice president Adam Sheffer and Armory Show director Nicole Berry.

Just how many attendees registered the dramatic scale of the implications, let alone walked away willing to take action because of them, remains the most relevant questions.

New Museum director Lisa Phillips and Adam Lindemann.

Viewfinders

To say that blockchain has been a popular topic in the art world this year would be a laughable understatement—indeed, this wasn’t even the only major blockchain confab of the week.

Eventbrite lists an all-week “Blockchain World Conference,” not particularly art-focused but “strategically tied to the art basel festival in Miami which will attract High Net Worth individuals from all over the globe.” Elsewhere, for a ticket price listed as between $125 and $1,075, you could have gone to an “investor and entrepreneur networking event” called “Bitcoin Mansion” in the Design District. And tomorrow, at Nikki Beach Club, yet another event, dubbed “Art Decentralized,” promises a keynote by the artist known only as VESA.

“The Art of Blockchains” was by far and away the most reputable of these events, featuring an unexpected diversity of participants, and organized by Lindemann, who has studied the technology for over a year, and is an investor in multiple blockchain ventures, including Artblx, which organized the conference.

With a handful of welcome exceptions, the most consistent, nagging issue running haunting the various conversations in “The Art of Blockchains” had little to do with the specific limits or capacities of the technology itself. To my eyes and ears, it was actually about the drastic extent to which, even for very intelligent people, personal incentives can often harden a worldview and limit the imagination.

This is hardly a problem exclusive to those of us (myself included) who attended the conference. Author Chuck Klosterman has written an impish, eye-opening book about this phenomenon titled But What If We’re Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past. In it, he tours readers through multiple thought exercises proceeding from the premise that what is obvious in retrospect is often unfathomable in the moment—and vice versa.

That very human fallacy tends to be especially powerful within closed, niche groups. Just think of the aggressive (and heartening) re-evaluation of modern and postwar art now elevating the revolutionary contributions of women, people of color, and non-Westerners. If we all agree that this revision is so long overdue, why didn’t our predecessors realize it at the time? More discomfiting, what might be happening right now that we ourselves cannot begin to process?

Adam Lindemann and Square co-founder Jim McKelvey during a “fireside chat.” Photo credit: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

I raise this issue because several of the conference’s speakers seemed almost militantly oblivious to the prospect that other art lovers and potential art lovers—the untold thousands of people whose interactions with art, they contend, will be transformed by blockchains—might have radically different wants and needs than the ones that would satisfy their respective business plans. This was the obstacle Lisa Phillips targeted with her line about value versus values.

Her comment seemed motivated by the day’s first panel, where legitimately progressive ideas—building communities within a digital commons, meaningfully expanding the audience for art, finding sustainable ways to fund traditionally market-resistant media—emerged, only to be sidelined time and again by the supposed allure of “participating in art” through fractional ownership and tokenizing great works to “release liquidity” bottled up inside them, as if we were discussing the need to frack shale formations during an OPEC tantrum. Although plenty of big checks will change hands during Miami Art Week, far more people are here to see art and go to art-related parties than to actually buy art, making the rhetorical dominance of transaction-based art experiences throughout the day seem especially dissonant with the realities on the ground.

Similarly, speaker after speaker invoked the idea that blockchain was already a “disruptive technology,” and that its base-level reformation of the art trade was “inevitable”—the most revered term in Silicon Valley’s techno-capitalist dialect. Yet what blockchain has actually accomplished to date to deserve the anointing oils remains mysterious to the average citizen, besides flooding their daily experience with breathless evangelism about how blockchain and cryptocurrencies will change their lives. So far, it is less a triumph of technology than of tautology.

A “physical Bitcoin” (which is sort of a gimmick, but exists). Photo Illustration by Thomas Trutschel/Photothek via Getty Images.

Alternative History

Blockchain’s defenders would say that I’m demanding results too soon. But how long do we have to wait? While the popular genesis of cryptoculture was the appearance of Satoshi Nakomoto’s 2008 Bitcoin white paper, NYU professor Amy Whitaker pointed out later in the day that a paper detailing the underlying technology had actually been published by scientists Stuart Haber and Scott Stornetta all the way back in 1991. In short, we have had the blueprint for blockchain for 27 years, and at present, the manifestation that has reached furthest into the zeitgeist is Bitcoin, a currency that promises decentralization but has delivered a state of affairs in which 97 percent of all Bitcoin value is siloed with just four percent of Bitcoin wallet addresses, according to a Credit Suisse report earlier this year.

Granted, the art industry has only gotten started with blockchain in the past few years—late as usual, when it comes to tech—and our industry could be uniquely suited to capitalize on this technology via potential use cases like time-stamped title registries and smart contracts. But there was precious little discussion in “The Art of Blockchains” of the possibility that blockchain may simply be flawed technology, a prospect that would explain why its hype started dying out in the earlier-adopting business world months ago, and a recent study of 43 blockchain-based ventures “found no documentation or evidence of the results blockchain was purported to have achieved,” according to USAID fellow John Burg and colleagues.

To his credit, Nanne Dekking of blockchain title registry Artory spoke to this inconvenient truth in the day’s first panel by offering that he knew of “only one company with a successful blockchain use case” to date: shipping titan Maersk, which uses the technology to verify its supply chain. Yet his co-panelist, Emmanuel Aidoo, Credit Suisse’s remarkably titled “Head of Distributed Ledger Technology,” immediately scoffed, claiming that he personally runs 17 blockchain projects. He could not, however, tell us anything about them, because, in his words, “We are not public about everything we do.”

Similarly, in a thoroughly surreal “fireside chat” with Lindemann, Square co-founder Jim McKelvey began by asking whether the room would obey Chatham House Rule by anonymizing his statements if we were to write or post about them. The room said “no,” and here we are.

This odd cloak-and-dagger veneer from Aidoo and McKelvey was eerily reminiscent of the findings of that aforementioned 0-for-43 blockchain study, in which its authors said that they were unable to elicit responses through direct inquiries to any of the ventures they looked into. “Despite all the hype about how blockchain will bring unheralded transparency to processes and operations in low-trust environments, the industry is itself opaque.” The irony is thicker than the air before a South Beach thunderstorm.

Adam Lindemann with Kenny Scharf in front of Scharf’s live painting made during the Art of Blockchains luncheon. PHOTO CREDIT: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

Of Arsonists and Firefighters

Such reflections bring us to a crucial possibility raised by Whitaker: that too many people in the art-and-blockchain space are expecting a technological innovation to solve fundamentally human problems. Even the most elegant software can’t change a thing if the people involved don’t want that change to take place.

Change demands that extraordinary (and extraordinarily rare) individuals commit themselves to something that actively works against their own incentives for the sake of a greater good. To borrow a metaphor from Anand Giridharadas, whose book Winners Take All interrogates the surprisingly widespread belief that we can and should trust plutocrats (many of them rich from Big Tech) to “change the world” for the better when they are the people benefiting so disproportionately from the way the world works now, this baseline assumption is as misguided as relying on arsonists to be firefighters.

Still, that particular formulation feels too harsh to me here. The issue at “The Art of Blockchains” was less malice than myopia. People with careers in art or careers in tech tend only to see what they’ve been trained to see. But regardless of the difference in animating force, the results at the conference were the same as in Giridharadas’s formulation: As ever, the people offering the most disruptive and transformative ideas about blockchain’s potential were almost invariably the ones with the least power to implement them.

Notions of power also came to the fore through artist and Serpentine Galleries chief technology officer Ben Vickers. In the day’s final panel (alongside Whitaker), he broke from previous presenters by stressing the need to understand the actual technological details of blockchain. Why? Because the details reveal crucial information about who holds the otherwise-invisible power in an allegedly decentralized system. (For more details, just look deeper at blockchain-based fractional ownership.)

By contrast, the opening panel’s moderator happily bypassed the ins and outs of the technology once most members of the audience raised a hand to confirm they had previously heard of blockchain. And in his aforementioned “fireside chat” with Lindemann, McKelvey repeatedly hammered on the idea that the technological details would simply put everyone to sleep. (What very much woke up the people in my row was McKelvey’s backfiring joke that an artist is “somebody who sells something no one else needs,” en route to a monologue endorsing blockchain’s importance to the art world by way of his own practice as a blown-glass artist.)

Artblx co-founder and CEO Dan Long, Pace President and CEO Marc Glimcher, moderator Arthur Falls, and Credit Suisse’s Emmanuel Aidoo. Photo credit: Madison McGaw/BFA.com.

The Light at the End of the Chain?

Nevertheless, there were pleasant surprises. Chief among them was Pace president and CEO Marc Glimcher, who did something vanishingly rare for a dealer in his position: admitting that the traditional art market had failed progressive artists in the past. He voiced this idea in the context of performance art, which he argued had essentially rendered painting irrelevant in the 1970s—until dealers’ inability to find a sustainable economic model for its proponents undid the medium from the inside.

However, Glimcher went further by trumpeting proof of concept for an alternative model in Pace’s recent history. He claimed that the gallery sold one million timed tickets, at $20 each, during Japanese media collective teamLab’s 14-month exhibition at Pace’s (since-closed) Menlo Park pop-up space. He also estimated that only about 10 percent of teamLab’s revenue came from selling installations, while the other 90 percent came from ticket sales.

This triumph and other evidence from Pace’s Bay Area presence (which continues via a permanent Palo Alto space) led Glimcher to declare to the audience, “Either we’re going to amend our model, or they”—meaning the next generation—“are going to do it for us.”

Whitaker, the NYU professor, alluded to a similar concept during the day’s final panel. There, she raised the possibility that the real disruptive technology within the art-and-blockchain Venn diagram was not the technology itself but rather the galvanizing opportunity for “artists acting as an organized whole” to secure their own rights. She expressed optimism about this union stemming from her belief that people are “inherently generous”—though at the self-admitted risk of naivete.

A Picture That Spoke 1,000 Words

And yet, souring this moment of hope at the conference’s close was an incident that served, in my mind, as the most indelible sight of the day.

Earlier, during a seated luncheon inside the convention center, spray-can maestro Kenny Scharf had created a live painting on a surface composed of 100 small canvases. The concept, as Lindemann explained to Bloomberg before the event, was for “every attendee to get a piece” as “a metaphor for blockchain: It’s meant to be shared.”

But that is not how things played out.

Shortly after Scharf completed his work, with no announcement, a splinter group of attendees descended on the painting and began tearing small canvases out of the matrix for themselves. Others in the room quickly abandoned their plates to charge into the scrum. The rest of us stared in awe as our former tablemates, so refined and docile moments earlier, created a 20-deep feeding frenzy for the remaining parcels of unclaimed property. Among them, a tall, bearded man with a Samson-like mane wading back through the crowd, clutching three canvases to his chest like battlefield trophies, head thrown back in laughter.

Although there were a few gift bags with pieces of Scharf’s work waiting at the check-in table outside the conference room as we returned for the afternoon’s sessions, in the end, the symbolic painting was not evenly distributed. The most aggressive and opportunistic carted away an outsized share of the gains.

As metaphors for blockchain go, I venture to guess this was not the one that Lindemann hoped for. If the highest ranks of the art world are willing to face up to the dysfunction and self-interest it revealed, then “The Art of Blockchains” could still be a historic moment regardless of the underlying technology’s fate. But as with so much else in the blockchain space, that’s a colossal “if.”

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