#then again there's no way tsunade would send some kid after jiraiya in the first place...

[evilkitten3]

first this game makes me face konan for jiraiya's sake, then that old fuck sends me to fight a guy with the rinnegan. at least nagato calls him out on that... what the hell, dude

[kyriolex]

Kawaki Academy Arc: The Rumor Mill

This episode starts with the kids rehearsing a play about the three sannin. This is the deeply censored version, so instead of Tsunade and Jiraiya confronting Orochimaru over murder and human trafficking, they are upset because their childhood friend is leaving the village. As we saw in the original series, deserting Konoha’s military leaving your friends behind is the worst thing ever.

Side note: Osuka is hands down the best actor. Her Orochimaru is fantastic. She wanted to play the Fourth, but as Himawari pointed out, this is a role only Osuka can play.

After rehearsal, Sosha the Gossip Queen hands out her homemade newspaper. Her latest scoop: She caught Eiki doing extra “character research” for Jiraiya by reading Makeout Tactics on the rooftop. This is the first of many humiliations this episode has in store for Eiki.

So the next day, everyone brings fake homemade headbands for the play. Himawari forgot hers, so Kawaki tries to give her his real headband. Himawari tells him to put it away, because a real headband would reveal his identity. But it’s too late - Eiki already saw.

He meets up with Sosha. He shows her a mysterious note warning him that Kawaki had a secret, and once Eiki saw the real headband, he realized the secret must be that Kawaki’s a real ninja infiltrating the school. Sosha says Eiki needs to get tangible proof before she’ll publish the scoop.

We get a brief moment on the rooftop where Kae talks about how much she’s going to miss her Academy days with friends. Kawaki tells her to enjoy the present, and she happily scampers off. He then tells Eiki to come out of the bushes and quit being a stalker. Eiki realizes he’ll have to get Kawaki’s headband another way.

Later that day, the kids rehearse on the actual stage Neon and the other background kids set up. Eiki has switched the Jiraiya role with Ehou and is now playing Manda the snake summon. He’s wearing the worst snake costume in history. It doesn’t even have a tail, which is 90% of a snake’s body. 

Orochimaru and Tsunade send forth their Pokemon summons to do battle. Kawaki the slug and Eiki the snake pretend to fight, but Eiki goes off script and knocks Kawaki’s headband out of his costume. He asks for Orochimaru’s help in retrieving it. Osuka takes this opportunity to really chew the scenery as she pretends to lift Kawaki so Eiki can grab the headband.

Eiki retreats to the rafters with his evidence. He announces that this headband will be what shows everyone Kawaki’s true nature. But as he’s gloating, the rafters break and fall. Kawaki saves Eiki from falling on his head and killing himself, but instead of being grateful, he immediately scampers to Sosha to snitch.

But the headband Eiki hands over is fake. He tries to convince everyone Kawaki’s a dangerous imposter, but Kawaki points to the destroyed stage and says Eiki’s the one who almost killed Kae with his shenanigans.

Eiki finally realizes he’s the bad guy, flops onto the ground, and wails. Everybody just watches him sob for two solid minutes. It’s very awkward. But Kawaki tells him to get up and they can repair the stage together.

Once the stage is fixed, Osuka sneaks up to Himawari and Kawaki. She reveals she switched out Kawaki’s official headband for a fake one when she was pretending to lift him up. He asks why Osuka helped him out, and she says it’s the least she could do after he saved her from kidnappers last episode. 

Osuka believes Kawaki’s a drop-out genin who is being forced to redo the Academy as punishment for bad behavior. Given the absolute hell this mission has been for Kawaki, he admits she may be right. Maybe it is some kind of karmic punishment.

Outside, Eiki apologizes again and shows Kawaki the mystery note he received. Someone else is trying to pull the strings to get Kawaki away from Kae. We then cut to some Bamboo politicians lurking in an abandoned garden shed. They plot evilly about how they want to get rid of Kae so her brother will be crowned king instead, so they’ve sent an assassin to infiltrate Konoha.

Kawaki rushes toward the infirmary, where Kae was going to rest of a bit. He’s just in time to see a hooded figure stand menacingly over the princess with a kunai. Kawaki chases the assassin off, and they escape through a window. Kae sleeps through the entire fight.

It’s heavily implied that the assassin is someone from the school, but the figure seems too big to be one of the kids and too small to be Hana-sensei. Maybe the assassin is actually two twins in a cloak. I don’t know.

[the8gates]

Burnouts: Part Ten - The Hill

Word Count: 11.3k

Warning(s): Light smut? Angst. Hidan being an asshole.

Atsuko Kamiyama is 19 years old with no clear direction in life. For now, she's content working at her father's comic book shop while he tours the world promoting his novel. Knee deep in the in-between, she finds herself hooking up with her best-friend, Obito, more often than she should. In a small town, there isn't much to do besides get high, host the weekly Trivia Night at the shop, and fool around.

Maybe it's a rut. But some realizations about herself and the introduction of Kakashi Hatake into her life will make sure she's not stuck running in circles for long.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - AO3 - Part Ten (2)

Monday

After spending Sunday night elbow deep in several different text threads and group chats, Atsuko slept somewhat peacefully knowing that karma seemed to be working in her favor. In fact, she’d woken up Monday morning feeling refreshed and balanced. She made coffee, got dressed, and even did her makeup before leaving for the day. Jiraiya hadn’t returned home the night before, sending her a single text stating that he would be spending the night with Tsunade. So, she left the house without much hassle, feeling fully ready to return to her job for the time being. 

Monday meant that Obito’s group would be there for their D&D session later in the evening. The thought made her a little nervous, but not like it would have the day before. She had confirmation that almost the entire group was on her side. That she’d done the right thing in the end and that Obito was the one who’d fucked up. Things would go okay and if she convinced herself that this was the new normal, then it would grow to become that. 

When she reached the shop, she took a picture of the front and posted it to Facebook along with a message apologizing for the uncertain hours the prior week and letting their followers know that they would be open for business. Within a few minutes, she had several comments and likes on the post. From the kids and all of their other patrons, rejoicing in the news. After she opened for the day and got settled on her stool behind the counter, she grinned as she replied to each one. Leaving this place for six months… it felt impossible. 

The first half of her day went without issue. A few people cycled in and out of the shop at random, short, intervals, but she didn’t hear from anyone she knew until a little after noon. She was lounging on her stool behind the counter when her phone lit up with a message. 

Kakashi, Gai’s Friend, From the Comic Shop: ‘Hey, you’re back at the shop?’

Me: ‘Yeah. It’s been pretty boring.’

Kakashi, Gai’s Friend, From the Comic Shop: ‘It’s my day off… I could come keep you company.’

Atsuko stared down at her phone for a moment, gnawing her bottom lip as she considered how to respond. Despite her embarrassment about Saturday nights events, she knew it was inevitable that she would see him again. And she wanted to. 

Me: ‘That would be great, actually. Only if you don’t have other plans.’

Kakashi, Gai’s Friend, From the Comic Shop: ‘Not unless you consider laying in bed and gorging myself on clementines ‘plans’ lol. I’ll be there in a few.’

Me: ‘Ohh that sounds good. If you’re willing to give up a day of luxury and delicious clementines, then I would be grateful for the company.’

Not fifteen minutes later, Kakashi was entering the shop, the bell dinging pulling Atsuko’s attention away from the true crime video she’d been watching. He looked comfortable and cozy, draped in nothing but an oversized, white, tshirt and a pair of black fashion sweatpants that were shockingly low in the crotch. All of it hung from his lean frame in a way she could never pull off, and he gave her a wave as he approached the counter. 

“Hey. You got here quick… did ya roll out of bed and jump straight in the car?”

Atsuko asked, teasing his eagerness and attire. Kakashi’s normally tired eyes widened and his hand came up to rub the back of his neck, dropping his chin to look down at his clothes. 

“Oh… uh, well… no. I mean…”

He stuttered out, the blush on his face just as endearing as it had been every time she’d seen it before. Finally, he sighed, dropping his head forward in defeat. 

“Yeah…”

He admitted, pulling a laugh from Atsuko. She nodded, moving to grab the other stool behind the counter and yanking it forward, patting the seat. 

“It’s fine. You look cozy. I’m watching Youtube videos.”

She invited, going to start the video over from the beginning so he could get the full story. After he’d rounded the counter and was preparing to sit down, he dug around his pocket for a moment before producing a single clementine. Atsuko’s brow furrowed and she smiled as he sat the fruit down in front of her. 

“You said you like them.”

He defended, shrugging softly when she turned her confused expression to him. She had said that. A surprised chuckle tore its way out of her throat, but she reached for the fruit anyway, beginning to peel it. 

“Thank you… You don’t scare easy, do you?”

Atsuko asked, nodding her head towards the screen of her laptop. Kakashi shook his head just as she peeled the first layer off the fruit, laying the rind on the counter. 

“Good. I’m watching a video about this guy who killed his entire family in one night with a machete and almost got away with it.”

She continued, quirking a brow at him when his eyes widened and he let out a quiet ‘Geez…’ under his breath. Again, she chuckled at his shocked expression, peering up at him as she picked the little strings from the fruit in her hand. She hit play on the video, and they both settled in to watch the forty five minute long documentary.

When she finished peeling the fruit, she reached out to tap the back of his hand where it was resting in his lap. Kakashi caught wind immediately, turning his palm upwards so she could deposit a wedge of the citrus fruit into his hand. For a few moments after that, they just sat in silence and watched the video. Atsuko would pop a piece of the snack into her mouth, before handing Kakashi the next one. Back and forth. There was intimacy in this, she thought. Being able to sit quietly with someone and fall into a natural flow. No expectations or concerns. Just peaceful silence as they shared a snack. 

It took a while for them to adjust to one another’s presence. But, eventually, they were sharing quips over the video. Making fun of some of the things the commentator said or hissing softly when some of the more gruesome details of the crime were revealed. When the video was over, Atsuko stood from her stool and stretched her back with a sigh

“Come on. I’m gonna go smoke.”

She encouraged, tapping his shoulder in a sign for him to stand as well. She grabbed her backpack from behind the counter, rifling around until she found the beaten pack of menthol cigarettes. They shuffled down the hallway to the back door of the shop and one they’d exited, Atsuko leaned against the brick wall and lit her cigarette, taking a smooth drawl. 

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

Kakashi observed, and Atsuko shrugged, blowing the smoke away from where they were standing. 

“Only sometimes… When I’m drinking or stressed. I’ve had this pack for a week.”

She said, shaking the carton to prove her point. Kakashi nodded, moving to lean against the wall next to her. 

“You stressed? Or day drinking?”

He asked, pulling another chuckle from her. 

“Neither, really. I mean… I guess I’m still coping with everything. Thank you again for the other night. I’m really sorry you had to see me like that.”

Atsuko responded, finally addressing the elephant in the room. She knew what his response would be before he even spoke. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you didn’t have to sit there and cry all night.”

Kakashi answered, drawing a soft snort from Atsuko. 

“You know, I don’t let just anyone see me cry. And we did just watch a documentary about how to not get caught after murdering someone…”

She warned, and Kakashi chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. 

“I won’t tell a soul.”

He promised and she nodded, another silence falling between them as she continued smoking her cigarette. This silence was slightly different from the one before. Now, she could feel the oppressive energy of things left unsaid. Like she could feel the words hanging on the tip of Kakashi’s tongue and, before he even drew in a breath to speak, she cringed involuntarily at what was coming. 

“Atsuko… I know this probably isn’t the best time. But I-“

Kakashi started to say and Atsuko nodded, her teeth grinding together at the thought of having this conversation with him. Again, she felt anger flare up in her chest. The same one that had consumed her the night Obito had confessed his feelings for her. It was still something she didn’t understand in the moment. Why the mere idea of someone liking her in that way and wanting to be close to her made her tense up. Like she was preparing to be punched in the stomach. She wasn’t angry at Kakashi per say. Just the situation in general. 

“I know. You don’t have to say anything. I already know.”

She cut him off, taking another drag from her cigarette in an attempt to soothe her nerves. Kakashi fell quiet beside her, almost like she’d scolded him in some way. And that made her regretful, her weary head falling forward as she sighed. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you or anything… I just… with everything that happened with Obito I’m still kind of… fucked up? And I like you too. A lot. But I need some time. And the next time I end up with someone I don’t want to mess it up again. Especially not with you.”

She explained, picking her head back up and dropping it against the brick wall, rolling it to the side so she could look at him. Kakashi did the same, turning his head and dropping his gaze to meet hers. Again, his eyes drew her in. Time completely stilled and she could feel her heart crawling up her throat. They were dark and deep, pulling her into a warm bath. What she wouldn’t give to reach out right now and touch him. To feel those slightly chapped lips against her own again and have his arms wrap around her. 

But she knew better. 

He wasn’t Obito, and in some sick and twisted way, that’s who she was still looking for. Kakashi was his own person and he deserved better than someone who was just looking for a bit of a comfort. Or someone who was trying to imagine him as someone else. She did like him, but it wouldn’t be fair to him or her to do this now. 

“So… what you’re saying is that you do like me?”

Kakashi asked, a shit eating grin spreading across his face as he broke the silence. It took a moment for Atsuko to register the words, but when she did, she scrunched her eyes shut and laughed. She pushed herself away from the wall, tamping out her cigarette on the bricks before turning back to him with a smirk. 

“You know what you said at the lake might actually hold some merit.”

She responded, and he quirked a brow, pushing up and away from the wall as well. Atsuko pinched her tongue between her teeth. 

“You are mean.”

————————————————

Atsuko and Kakashi spent the next couple hours together. Filtering between showing each other funny videos and talking about their interests. The sound of her laptop sliding back and forth across the counter top had become common place as they each snatched it up to introduce one another to things that they enjoyed. Kakashi had scrolled through his Goodreads list, pointing out novels he would recommend to her and talking about the plots of the ones he really loved. He kept a meticulous list of everything he’d ever read, along with his own personal review on each one. Jiraiya’s books were there and he’d gushed about them for a while before clamming up and growing embarrassed when he’d realized that he was waxing on to the author’s daughter. 

Atsuko had shown him some of the anime’s she was interested, pushing him to buy a copy of the first volume of a particular manga she enjoyed from the shop. He’d bought it with her promise that it would change his life. She’d also shown him some of the many interests she’d cultivated over the years. Varying wildly from arts and crafts projects to following specific internet folklore. In the end, they learned a lot of things about each other. 

Kakashi was a good cook, but he hated doing it. Atsuko loved to cook, but she lacked the natural skills. Kakashi loved to read but he didn’t know much about pop culture or current media. Atsuko tried to keep up with all of the trends and popular things, but she didn’t have the patience to read as much as she would like to. Kakashi had a talent for certain arts, but lacked a creative flare. Atusko had tons of ideas, but never knew how to put them into practice or stick to them once she did. 

All in all, they complimented each other in a lot of ways. Like mirror images. Reflecting back at one another from different dimensions. It was honestly a little eerie and by the time she was preparing to set up for the arrival of the kids and Obito’s group, she felt overcome with the sense that they’d done this before. A wave of Deja Vu washing over her and causing a slight chill to run down her back as she bent over to retrieve some drinks from the mini fridge. 

“You okay?”

Kakashi asked at her shiver, and Atsuko nodded as she rose up with an arm full of soda cans. 

“Yeah. Just got a weird feeling.”

She answered, shaking off the feeling with a physical shake of her head. She began setting out the drinks as Kakashi reclined on the stool behind her, his arms cross as he leaned backwards to rest his back against the wall. 

“What kind of feeling?”

He questioned, and she shrugged, turning around to look at him with her arms crossed under her chest. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s silly… but I just had like the most intense feeling of Deja Vu I’ve ever had in my life. It’s like…”

She started to say before letting out a scoff and shaking her head, turning back to gather more drinks from the fridge. Kakashi was quiet for a moment as she added the remaining cans to the counter. 

“Like we’ve met before?”

He asked, throwing out exactly what she’d been thinking without any qualms. The same chill from before worked it’s way down her back, shoulders trembling for a moment as she turned back to him with a wide eyed stare. Kakashi nodded, dropping his head back against the wall to stare up at the ceiling. 

“I feel it too. Sometimes, when you’re about to say something, it’s like I can hear it in my head before you say it.”

Kakashi stated nonchalantly. Like the mere prospect didn’t terrify him to his very core. Atsuko’s mouth went dry, her brain tripping over itself as she struggled to think of something to say. Then, just as she was about to voice her agreement, the bell on the shop’s door rang out and a loud, boisterous, voice snapped the moment in half. 

“Atsuko!”

Hidan shouted from the door way, quickly approaching the counter and drawing both her and Kakashi’s attention. He was wearing that predatory grin, tongue caught between his pearly white teeth. 

“Hidan… You’re early.”

Atsuko stated, handing him a can of sickly sweet Vanilla Coke as he dug around in the pockets of his pants to produce a handful of change. He dropped it on the counter, the change rattling at the same time he cracked the can open and a hissing pop filled the room. 

“Didn’t want to miss the show.”

He answered, causing Atsuko’s eyes to roll so hard she swore she could see her brain. 

“What show, asshole?”

She asked, only able to watch as he saddled up against the counter, leaning on his hip as he made himself comfortable. 

“When Obito shows up. I want a front row seat to that shit show.”

He mocked, earning him a hearty shove from Atsuko, her palm landing against his upper arm with more force than a teasing touch. Hidan moved away from the counter with an offended expression, the hand he was holding his can in unfurling to point an accusatory finger in her direction. 

“Hey! Watch it. I’m on your side with this whole thing. I know Dei sent you those screenshots.”

Hidan stated before deflating a bit as he came back to rest against the counter again, taking a leisurely sip of his drink. Atsuko huffed, crossing her arms under her chest as she considered what he’d said. Hidan was, arguably, her most vocal supporter in all of this. It was strange considering that they’d only been able to hurl thinly veiled insults and threats at each other since she’d met him. But she’d softened to him some at the party. He was an asshole… but he did seem to care at least a little bit. That was confusing in and of itself though. 

“Why do you care so much? I thought you hated me.”

Atsuko asked, moving to open an energy drink for herself, but before she could take a sip, Kakashi was tapping her hand. Without another word needing to be exchanged, she handed him the drink and grabbed another from the counter for herself. Hidan scoffed, narrowing his magenta eyes in her direction. 

“That’s stupid. I mean, you can be a major bitch sometimes. But at least you don’t think you’re better than everyone else. You’re cool.”

Hidan huffed, looking away from her at the admittance, the lightest dusting of a blush covering his cheeks. Atsuko barked out a laugh, lunging across the counter to pinch his cheek with her thumb and forefinger. 

“Aww! Does Hidan actually wike me? Do you wanna be best friends? Talk about our crushes?”

She teased, Hidan swatting at her hand and jumping away from her like she was carrying a contagious disease. He still blushed though as he pulled his finger up to point at her again. 

“See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! That was a major bitch move!”

He shouted, only serving to make Atsuko laugh harder as she returned to her side of the counter. Kakashi was chuckling softly next to her when Hidan rubbed the sore spot where she’d grabbed his cheek. 

“I’m just teasing Hidan. Thank you for sticking up for me in all of this. I was worried… well, that I would just be the next Rin.”

Atsuko stated, sighing as she settled back onto her stool. That situation had a different meaning now. The statement held more weight than she’d expected and she felt her shoulders slump forward before the wave of gross, confusing, emotions flooded through her. Hidan moved, dropping his hand from his cheek and allowing that cheeky grin to split his face in half again. 

“Ya know, if you want to get back at em, I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

He offered, leaning with his forearms pressed against the glass. Now, that caught her attention. She quirked an eyebrow, straightening her back and crossing her arms. Hidan’s tongue ran over his upper lip and he wiggled against the counter, moving the slightest bit closer. 

“Well, don’t you think it would really piss Obito off if you were to hook up with one of his friends?”

Hidan suggested, but Atsuko scoffed and rolled her eyes immediately. He shook his head leaning forward with his hands coming up in front of him, palms outward in defense. 

“Hear me out. It doesn’t have to be me… Even though I could definitely show you a good time. I just want to see the look on that idiot’s face when he realizes that his former piece is fucking one of his closest friends… Dei’s had a crush on you for a long time and I’m pretty sure he’s still a vir-.”

He added, and Atsuko shook her head again, holding up a hand in a motion for him to stop talking, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence. 

“Shut up, Hidan. I am not sleeping with you. Or Dei.”

Atsuko stated with finality, but Hidan was ready with his comeback. 

“What about Shisui?”

He questioned, and Atsuko’s face wrinkled in disgust. 

“Kisame?”

He fired off, and Atsuko rolled her eyes. 

“Konan? Oh, the money I would pay to see th-!”

Hidan continued, only for Atsuko to cut him off again with a groan. 

“For fucks sake, Hidan! I am not sleeping with any of his friends. Or his brother. Will you just cut the shit.”

She huffed, crossing her arms under her chest as she leaned back in her seat. Kakashi had gone ignored during their little back and forth, but she could feel the tension coming from his direction steadily growing. Anger. Jealousy. She wasn’t sure, but when Hidan finally stopped running his mouth she could feel the weight of his feelings on her chest. 

“Fine. Buzz kill…”

Hidan pouted, raising himself up from the counter with a sigh. His eyes filtered around the shop until they landed on where Kakashi was seated beside her behind the counter. Then, he grinned like the cheshire cat, his finger coming up to point at the silver haired man. 

“What about him?”

He practically purred, like the idea was so deliciously tantalizing he could hardly bare it. Atsuko’s eyes widened and she turned to look down at Kakashi. He looked just as stunned, his face one of pure shock and mortification. 

“Yeah, yeah! That would be a great idea! I mean, Kakashi is the one who stole Rin from him back in school. He still hates his guts.”

Hidan pointed out, and Kakashi felt it was finally necessary for him to intervene, his face falling serious in the blink of an eye.

“I didn’t steal Rin. She broke up with him first.”

He clarified, causing Hidan to wave his wrist loosely. 

“Details. Doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, he’s part of the reason you guys are on the outs anyway! It would be the perfect salt in the wound.”

Hidan continued, waxing on like some sadistic psycho as he imagine all of the ways Atsuko could hurt Obito. Eventually, she waved her hands to get his attention, shaking her head at the same time. As tempting as that prospect was, she didn’t want to start her relationship with Kakashi because she was trying to make Obito angry. 

“Hidan. Shut the fuck up! I’m really tired of hearing it. You keep running your mouth and I’ll kick you out. Seriously.”

She snapped, fixing him with the most non-sense expression in her arsenal. He stared at her for a moment before determining she was serious and snapping his mouth shut with a huff. 

“Fine. Have it your way. Just really pissed me off to see you crying and shit the other night. All snotty and gross.”

He responded, and Atsuko sighed. Maybe he meant well. But fuck, he came on strong and didn’t know how to take no for an answer. Or read a fucking room. 

“Thank you. Really. But I can handle it.”

She assured, watching as he turned his scowling face up to meet hers. Then, he was straightening his back out and nodding, snatching his coke can from the counter and leaving the room in favor of sitting in the comic shops lounge. Atsuko deflated when he was gone, dropping her head into her hands with a groan. 

“That was a fucking nightmare.”

She whined, and Kakashi was already moving to stand up beside her, a comforting hand on her back. He rubbed soothing circles and allowed her to process the conversation in silence for a bit. Sleeping with someone else to screw with Obito… it was something she would have seriously considered a few months ago. Hell, a few weeks ago. And no one would have been off limits. The closer she could hit to home, she would. But with Kakashi around… her head felt more level. This petty drama felt tiny and insignificant. She remembered what Jiraiya had told her the other night. 

He was the bigger picture. 

“Ya know… I wouldn’t mind doing what Hidan suggested.”

Kakashi suddenly said, his voice low and teasing. Atsuko jerked her head away from her hands, turning to look at him in shock, but Kakashi only smirked and shrugged. 

“I mean… only if you want to. I’m just letting you know that I’m a team player.”

He clarified. The simple sentence set her body on fire almost immediately. It was all so conflicting. Really, the idea of fucking someone just to piss Obito off felt petty and childish. But when Kakashi offered like that… it sounded sexy and taboo. Like they would be doing something they shouldn’t, and her mouth dried out at the implications. Still, she shook her head with a breathless chuckle, dropping her eyes away from his before he had a chance to hypnotize her. 

“If you’re seriously considering anything that asshole says… then you may need to have your head examined.”

Atsuko retorted, smiling softly when Kakashi let out an audible chuckle, dropping his hand away from her just as the bell on the front door rang out again.  

One by one, the rest of Obito’s D&D group piled into the shop. Kisame and Itachi had shown up after Hidan, and that interaction had been more awkward than she’d expected. Kisame stopped at the counter to talk to her about everything that had happened, but Itachi hadn’t even looked in her direction. Simply walking back to the private room where their sessions were held, making sure to keep his eyes fixed forward. So, he was on Obito’s side. Or, at the very least, on the side of events that Obito had told him. Kisame had empathized with her quietly, stating that he’d tried to have a heart to heart with Obito about the issue, but he’d been shut down quickly. Atsuko had thanked him as well, but had let him know that the intervention wasn’t necessary. After that, he’d left to join Itachi. 

The next pair to come in were Sasori and Kakazu. Despite his defense of her in the group chat, Atsuko hadn’t expect either of them to say anything to her upon entering. But, to her surprise, both quiet men had given her mild encouragement in the form of scathing remarks about their friends choices. Kakazu had called Obito an ‘idiotic child’ and Sasori had hummed in agreement. The ‘conversation’ was one sided and they’d left the counter as quickly as they’d approached it. 

Par for the course, Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato said nothing to her upon entering other than the standard, friendly, greeting. She didn’t think they were truly picking a side in the ordeal, though. Rather just keeping their heads down and trying to avoid conflict. It was understandable but Atsuko couldn’t help but feel a little slighted by Konan. She’d stated that she didn’t feel right about the way they’d treated Rin in high school after her break up with Obito… and here she was, doing the same thing to Atsuko. 

Deidara was last, rolling in by himself and apologizing to Atsuko profusely for not knowing more about what had occurred. He worked himself up at one point, calling Obito and Rin a number of rather hateful names in the process. Mostly, he was just upset by the situation in general though. He saw Obito’s decision as a catalyst for their friend group splitting apart and was disappointed that all of this had occurred on what was supposed to be a night of celebration. Atsuko had empathized with him, feeling more than a little guilty for the situation he was in now. But he had assured her that he wasn’t upset with her in the slightest and by the time he’d left to join the others in the back room, an air of melancholy followed him. 

Through all of this, Kakashi had been sitting behind the counter next to her and he’d been rarely acknowledged. Everyone who’d stopped to talk to her had been too consumed to even consider him. Atsuko figured he probably favored that outcome. Not being forced to speak on the subject or being dragged into it like Hidan had done. Simply being allowed to observe and offer her silent support. 

Then, the moment she’d been dreading came. 

Obito shuffled into the shop with his head dropped forward, his face and eyes obscured by the frayed ends of dark hair that poked out from under his beanie. At the sight of his tall, slumped, frame, all of the resolve Atsuko had built up in the days prior was sapped of her in an instant. Her throat nearly swelled shut and her chest tightened dangerously. All she could do was stare at him as he walked past the counter in slow motion. There would never be a way for her to describe this moment to someone else. The way all of their shared history lingered between them like an invisible monument to something once beautiful. Knowing that he felt that energy as well. Both of them hovering over the same casket, staring dead-eyed at the cold, lifeless, body of their relationship. It had ended so abruptly. The person she’d called her best friend just last week had hurt her so irreversibly that he couldn’t even look at her anymore. 

Something forced her to move before he exited the room and entered the hallway. When his face was fully out of view and all she could see was the back of his hoodie, she found it easier to call his name. 

“Obito.”

Atsuko said, the husk in her own voice sounding foreign to her ears. He stopped walking, his shoulders tensed, and she realized that she felt drunk. Acting and speaking on instinct without any forethought. Her head swimming violently as she regarded his back. She regretted the way his name fell from her lips. She could have said it better. Could have wrapped those three syllables in a different tone. One where she didn’t sound so fucking hurt. 

Then, he was turning around to face her. Slowly exposing inch by inch of his face until his dark eyes were boring into hers. Atsuko had looked into them a thousand times before, but she’d forgotten how sharp and scathing his gaze could be. His pointed brows fixed at a steep angle, the intensity reminiscent of razor blades dragging over her skin. The sensation of tapered steel sliding cleanly over sensitive flesh. Her teeth ached. 

“Did you want a drink?”

She asked, the words tumbling past her lips without consent. Like someone was using her as a puppet. Then, she lifted her suddenly heavy hand to gesture to the counter in front of her. Obito’s eyes sliced diagonally across her body to where her fingers lingered by the cans, then they crossed back over her again to peer at Kakashi. She held her breath when he started to walk back towards the counter, the sound of creaking floorboards like nails on a chalk board. Again, without the assistance of her brain, her hand grabbed a cold can of his soda of choice, handing it to him when he’d drawn close enough. An olive branch. Or handing over her valuables to a mugger. It felt more like the latter. Obito reached out to take the drink, his long fingers wrapping around her own for a moment. Atsuko’s hand went limp in his partial grip, and he finally turned his eyes up to meet hers again. Effectively gutting her. 

“It’s quiet. Will you put on some music?”

Obito asked, his voice a little lower than normal, but still causing her throat to clench in pain again. The effort of holding back tears or a scream or anything to break the tension was almost too much. But Atsuko simply nodded numbly. Obito took the can from her hand and left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it. 

When he was gone, she let out a shaky sigh, immediately turning around to snatch her phone from the counter behind her. With trembling fingers, she swiped and tapped until she landed ons something to fill the silence. Normally, she would draw a random genre or playlist title from the suggestion box. But now, she couldn’t even begin to think about such a menial task, just scrolling through her music until she landed on a personal playlist titled ‘new depression’. As soon as the song started, her face screwed in pain. All Girls Are The Same by Juice WRLD. 

The first sensation to hit her was the smell of weed and the second was the feeling of Obito’s worn passenger seat scratching against her legs. She could hear both of them, shouting the words to the song at the top of their lungs as they went on a late night drive. The windows were rolled down, humidity from the earlier summer storm filling the car with a thick steam. Her skin was sticky with it, but her body felt weightless. His forearm pressing against hers in random intervals sending a sharp shock through her system. Suddenly, her chest felt heavy, like she was still breathing in that overly dense air and feeling the way his energy pulled her towards him. Atsuko skipped the song quickly, only to be met with another familiar beat. 

Kill Yourself (Part III) by $uicideboy$ poured through the overhead speakers in the shop and, immediately, Atsuko could feel the phantom touches of Obito’s fingers running up either side of her torso. They’d pulled off the road at some point, Obito maneuvering his car into a little alcove between some trees on the curvy back road. All the lights were off save for the soft, green, glow of the radio behind where she was straddling his lap in the drivers seat. Her lips tingled at the memory of the kisses he’d pressed there, the cool metal of his tongue piercing the only refreshing part of the hot, sticky, make out session. Other sensations washed over her in the time that she allowed the song to play. Hot breath fanning over her chest. The ghost of his sweet moans fluttering past her ear. Obito’s sweaty forehead buried in the crook of her neck. The wonderful burn in the muscles of her thighs as she rode him. His fingers gently rolling against her cl-

Atsuko paused the song with a groan, dropping her phone into Kakashi’s lap as he stared up at her with a confused expression. 

“You pick something. Just… not that playlist.”

She stated, offering no further explanation as she grabbed her cigarettes and headed for the back of the shop. She burst through the back door into the alley with a gasp, trying her damndest to steady her rapidly unraveling nerves. The tears were flooding her vision at an alarming rate, her racing heart thudding against her ribcage caused her organs to tremble, and she drew in another pained breath as her shaking fingers struggled to produce a cigarette from the pack. When she’d finally positioned the filter between her lips, the tears began to roll down her cheeks, following the channels created by her bones and wrinkles until they were soaking the thin paper clenched under her nose. Still, she managed to light the cigarette, taking a long drag and allowing the smoke to fill her lungs. The first deep breath she’d taken since Obito had walked into the shop was rife with toxins.

With ever draw, the nicotine slowed her mind and calmed her nerves. Coming down from emotions that intense always felt like she was emptying herself. Like there was nothing left for her give. Her body was heavy and totally devoid of feeling. Atsuko dropped her head back against the brick wall, staring up at the blue sky as the remain waves raked through her. Her chest collapsing in on itself in random intervals and her skin twitching. 

Was it going to be like this every time she saw him? Every time she heard a song they used to listen to together? She hadn’t even had the energy to go through her phone yet. A small part of her hanging on to old photos and memories because she’d almost believed that she would be allowed to keep those mementos. But now she knew it would be too painful. She had to distance herself from him as much as possible… that was the only option. How the hell was she supposed to do that if she was still going to see him multiple times a week? 

There was an obvious answer. However, she didn’t have the strength to entertain it at the time. Simply crushing the last bit of her cigarette under the heel of her shoe and steeling her nerves to re-enter the shop. 

Wednesday

“Please just leave me alone.”

Atsuko sighed, her head turned downwards and eyes focused on her knees. She’d come outside to smoke and he’d taken it upon himself to follow her. It should have been obvious that something was up when Obito had shown up at the shop a whole hour before the D&D session was due to start. He’d lingered in the main room for a bit, walking around and looking at the new manga and comics. But she could feel the building tension in the air as he stole glances at her. The hairs on the back of her neck had stood at attention despite her attempts to avoid looking at him. Her eyes were fixed on the laptop screen in front of her, scrolling aimlessly past text posts that blurred together. Eventually, she hadn’t been able to stand the atmosphere anymore and had quickly retreated outside without a single word. 

But he’d followed her. Just like her subconscious knew he would. As soon as she’d sunk into a sitting position against the wall, the back door had swung open beside her. The creaking sound of the hinges under cut with a soft sigh of her name. 

“I want to talk about this.”

Obito stated, standing across from her, but he was only getting a view of the crown of her head. Atsuko cringed, hidden behind a curtain of her hair as she took a drag from her cigarette. Monday had been terrible, but she’d had Kakashi to distract her after the initial sighting. Tuesday had been bearable, but no one had been here to keep her company, so she’d spent the whole day in her head. Building up a bile in the base of throat that plagued her early into the next morning. Now, she was stuck. A captive audience to whatever Obito had to say. Every word that spilled from his mouth causing the acid in her stomach to rise higher. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Atsuko replied, flicking the ashes from the end of her cigarette between her shoes, focusing on the fluttering of white as it piled on the concrete. 

“Yes, there is. I hate the way you look at me now. Like you hate me or you’re scared of me.”

Obito said, catching her attention with that last line. Atsuko jerked her head up to look him in the eyes for the first time today. He was looking down at her with hurt in his gaze, but it didn’t effect her like it used to. 

“I’m not scared of you.”

She hissed out her defense, the fire in her chest only growing when he rolled his eyes and smacked his hands against his thighs. 

“Whatever! That was not my point here. I just… shit Atsuko, I miss my friend. It’s so weird not having you around anymore and when you look at me like that I feel like… like you really do hate me.”

Obito admitted, dropping his head forward with sad eyes. The sight of him, moping and regretful, only served to make her more angry. How could he come to her after what he’d done and mope like she’d been the one to hurt him? 

“Maybe you should have thought about that before getting back together with Rin.”

Atsuko huffed, inhaling from her cigarette again. 

“You don’t get it, Atsuko…”

Obito responded, but she was quick to cut him off, staring up at him with a pointed expression despite the weariness in his eyes. 

“I don’t get what, Obito? That she’s your fucking soulmate or whatever? I do get it. And it’s fitting considering that both of you have a history of fucking over the people you claim to care about.”

Atsuko spat out, and he picked his head up at that, glaring down at her for a moment. But she didn’t flinch from his gaze now. He could cut her to a thousand pieces for all she cared. 

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t do the exact same thing to me.”

Obito said, throwing her hypocrisy back in her face. Atsuko huffed, shaking her head in bewilderment. 

“And you were really tore up about that. I can definitely tell! Moving on so quick must have been really hard for you.”

Atsuko replied, drawing a groan from Obito. He scrubbed his hands down his face. 

“Will you stop being a bitch for one second and let me explain?”

Obito fired out, causing Atsuko to raise her eyebrows in surprise. Bitch, huh? He immediately caught what he said, face falling from one of anger to a more tired expression. 

“I didn’t mean that-”

He started to say, but Atsuko was pushing herself to her feet already, dropping her cigarette to the ground just to stomp on the remains with the tip of her shoe. 

“No, you did. And that’s fine. If I’m such a bitch you must be glad to be rid of me.”

Atsuko started, drawing a soft sigh of her name from Obito, but she didn’t want to listen to another word of what he had to say. 

“You know, I think it’s fucking hilarious that you had the nerve to say you cared about me the other night. That you were worried about my mental health. But you just sprang that confession on me Obito. Even though you knew how I would react. And that doesn’t excuse my reaction… but you could have at least given me the night. Tried to contact me the next day or something. You didn’t even try to talk to me until you came back from Suna. Until it was already done.”

Atsuko continued, locking eyes with him. She was angry and hurt and she would be for a long time, but she wasn’t scared and, god, she could never hate him. Obito dropped his defenses in the moment, the pain in his dark eyes evident as she pointed these things out. And suddenly, tears were gathering against her lash line. 

“Fuck, I’m so tired of crying.”

She huffed, pulling her gaze away from his as she turned around. She wiped at her eyes, drawing in a grounding breath as she fixed her eyes on the brick wall. 

“Atsuko… I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to end up like this. And I had no idea you really cared this much.”

Obito sighed behind her, and that stung in a way she hadn’t been prepared for. A surge of pain rocketing through her body like a cramp that took her breath away. She turned on her heel to face him again, but this time she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Well I did. I do. And even now, I don’t hate you. Because every time I look at you, I don’t think about how it ended. I just think about that morning Madara caught us in bed and afterwards, when we were getting dressed, I wanted to kiss you so badly. But I didn’t, because I couldn’t. I think about all of those late night drives and how terrible your singing voice is but how I’d give anything to go back and hear it again. We spent a year together. Every part of my life revolved around you… and I was too chicken shit to realize what that meant until it was too late.”

She finished, the anger leaving her body to make room for the sorrow. None of the things she said mattered anymore. It was the past, and she couldn’t keep living in it. She just needed him to leave her the hell alone so she could mourn and move on. 

“Is it too late?”

He asked, the words just barely audible and it took a second for her to process them. When they registered, Atsuko turned her eyes up to his, wide and confused. 

“What?”

Atsuko questioned, her eyebrows pinching together as she tried to determine his intentions. Just what the fuck he was talking about. Obito groaned again, dropping his head back. 

“Shit, Atsuko, I don’t know… this whole thing has been so fucking confusing. That night I was so sure of what I wanted but then when you said… what you said to me. I had been waiting so long to hear that and it felt wrong to just walk away. And now you saying that kind of stuff again it just… I don’t know what to do.”

He admitted, truly leaving her speechless. What the fuck was he saying? That he wanted to try and fix what had happened? That he didn’t want to be with Rin? Her head was spinning and she suddenly felt sick, dropping backwards to rest against the wall with a sharp exhale. Obito finally dropped his eyes back to hers, some of the pain and confusion on his features fading away to make room for something more tender. 

“I do care about you… And I miss you so much. It’s only been a couple weeks but… I just…”

With every word, Obito drew nearer. Closing the distance between them in slow, calculated, movements like he was trying to approach a feral cat. And Atsuko was stuck, too stunned to speak or move, she stared up at him with her mouth gaped and her eyes wide. The closer he got, the more her body moved of it’s own accord. Her chest pushing upwards in his direction, her neck stretching to meet him. 

Then, before she even really knew what was happening, he was leaning down and pressing his soft lips against hers. 

Her immediate reaction was to gasp, but he just used that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, one of his hands coming up to caress the back of her neck. Her eyes shut on instinct and she reached for him as well, fully prepared to say fuck it all and return to her rightful place in Obito’s arms. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach filled with butterflies.

But then… the feeling passed. 

Atsuko’s eyes opened as all of those wonderful sensations fizzled into nothing. She didn’t feel the same sparks in her lips that he’d inspired before. The hand on the back of her neck didn’t make her feel safe and secure anymore. And, in that single moment, her mind felt clearer than it ever had. 

Obito realized that she wasn’t reciprocating after a second, and his eyes slowly opened as well. They met gazes and he pulled away, the hand on the back of her neck moving to slide down her arm, gripping her hand as their lips separated. 

“Huh…”

Obito observed, breaking the silence. So, he’d felt it too… Atsuko nodded, swallowing thickly. And for a while, they stood just like that. Bathing in clarity and mourning the loss of something they’d both put so much importance on. Atsuko had thought, for a brief moment, that maybe they could work this out. Kick Rin to the curb and start over. But kissing him just now… she’d felt nothing. 

“Weird…”

She muttered and Obito grunted in agreement, his gaze dropping to the ground as he toed his shoe against the concrete. 

“It’s never gonna be the same, is it…”

He stated more than he asked, and Atsuko shook her head. 

“No. I don’t think so.”

Friday

Atsuko laughed with her entire chest as she stepped onto the platform positioned against the far end of the den and the audience in front of her erupted into a choir of cheers and applause. She made a conscious effort to lean away from the microphone in front of her as not to blow the speakers with the sound of her delight. She waved her hands, calming the crowd down until only a few stray claps remained. Then, she leaned towards the mic. 

“Thank you all for the warm welcome back.”

She greeted, only to be met with a loud but young voice shouting back at her. 

“Fuck yeah! Welcome back Atsuko!”

Naruto shouted from his position in the crowd, seated at an old card table with the rest of the Avengers team. There were a few more claps and cheers at that, but she narrowed her eyes in the direction of the boy, raising a pointer finger. 

“Language, Naruto.”

Atsuko scolded, drawing a round of laughter from the patrons. She ducked her head with a chuckle when Naruto blushed from the tip of his nose to the tips of his ears. Her eyes roamed across the crowd, all of the usual teams were here this evening. And their usual spectators lined the walls and piled up on the couches surrounding the cheap card tables positioned in the middle of the room. The young girls from the Academy, Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Temari, and Hinata, were all crammed onto a single love seat, sitting on top of one another. Temari’s brothers, Gaara and Kankuro, were there too. They were also part of Naruto’s little gang, but Gaara didn’t have a desire to be in the spotlight, so they just showed up for moral support. 

Most everyone else were friends of Obito’s group or local high school kids. A surprising amount of people came to Trivia Night just to enjoy the show and never actually participate. But she didn’t mind all of the eyes on her, though she was sure Tenzo had been sweating literal bullets when he’d had to take her place last weekend. 

Hidan’s table consisted of himself, Kakazu, Deidara, Kisame and Itachi. Behind him was Yahiko’s group. Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato were a package deal, but they were joined by Sasori and Obito. Then there was Gai, Shisui, Asuma, Kurnai, and Genma. All three teams would be competing for the honor of finally dethroning the Avengers squad. That table was Naruto, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Lee, Neji and Kiba. They had originally started off with more members, but Shino and Choji had shied away from the event when the pressure became too much and the atmosphere entirely too competitive. They were lingering in the back with Gaara and Kankuro as well. 

It was a tiny bit nerve wracking to be up here after everything that had happened. Especially after that awkward kiss she’d shared with Obito… but there were so many smiling faces staring back at her that she couldn’t bring herself to be upset. And she felt even more at ease when her eyes met Kakashi’s. He was seated against the wall to the left of the platform, and when he noticed her glance at him, he gave her a thumbs up. Atsuko grinned in response, turning her eyes back to the crowd just in time to see Jiraiya slink into the room. He’d never come to one of these before, mostly because he always happened to be out of town on Friday Nights and the tradition had only started when she’d taken over at the shop. But his presence made her feel more comfortable as well. Now it was time to show him what she’d spent the last year building. 

“Alright, I would like to officially welcome everyone to the Konoha Comic Book Shop’s weekly Trivia Night!”

She announced, another round of cheers and applause quickly following. 

“I’m sure Tenzo did a lovely job last weekend, but I have returned as your announcer for the evening. I’m sure you all know how this works by now, but in case there are any new faces in the crowd, allow me to go over the rules.”

Atsuko added, adjusting the binder in her arms. 

“Trivia Night is just like it sounds. I will be your esteemed host-“

She started to say, earning a callout from the audience, 

“Our hot host!”

Hidan shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. More laughter and claps erupted from the crowd, but she didn’t miss the way Obito glared at the back of his friends head from the other table. Atsuko chuckled, before continuing. 

“Shut up Hidan. Let me explain the rules. I will read off a question and there will be no multiple choice. The first team to raise their hand will be given the chance to provide me with an answer. If the answer is correct, that team gets a point. If the answer is incorrect, we will move on to the team who raised their hand second. If the second team cannot provide an accurate answer either, we will move on to the next question.”

She continued, turning to her side slightly and gesturing to Kakashi. 

“Kakashi has offered to be our point counter for the evening. He will also be my other set of eyes to make sure there is no cheating and to help determine who should get to answer first in the event that two or more teams raise their hand simultaneously.”

She stated, and Kakashi gave a quick wave to the crowd, scrunching his eyes shut with a smile. Atsuko turned back and continued. 

“If you have any issues with points or want to kick someones ass when you lose, I will kindly direct you to him.”

She added, more laughter erupting in the room as she glanced over to see Kakashi fixing her with a smirk. 

“Does anyone object to the rules?”

She asked, and there were several mumbled denials. Atsuko nodded, opening the black binder in her arms to thumb through the pages. Every Thursday she curated the questions for the week and updated the score sheet on the front, so everything was neatly organized and ready to go. 

“Good, because I wouldn’t care if you did! Tonight’s theme is Pop Culture and Media. So, I don’t have high hopes for the older people in the room.”

Atsuko added, just to fill the space as she located the score sheet. This earned her a few light hearted boos, but she smirked as she turned her head back up. 

“Before we get started I would like to remind everyone of what you are playing for. Our local champions are here again tonight. On a five week winning streak, we have a group of middle school aged boys. So, maybe think twice before you boo me again. Here to defend their title and add another week to their streak, the Avengers.”

She announced, gesturing to the table of young boys. There was a mixture of cheers and boos this time, but Naruto and Kiba were quick to stand up and flip the bird to multiple people in the room, laughing maniacally as Neji, Shikamaru, and Sasuke simply sat with amused smirks, their tiny arms crossed over their chests. 

“The next team on the roster is one that needs no introduction, because they have been fighting valiantly every week since Trivia Night began. Though, they do not have one win on their record. The Tunnel Snakes.”

She introduced, gesturing to Hidan’s table. Hidan flipped her off as laughter filled the room.

“Next up is our team of noble heroes. With three, non-consecutive, wins under their belt, the Knights of Konoha.”

Atsuko said, pointing to Gai and Shisui’s table far in the back. Shisui clapped his hands together in a victory clasp, shaking them over his shoulders as some light applause was offered to their team. 

“And finally, the team with the most wins behind the Avengers, clocking in at 4 wins, we have the Masters of Disguise.”

Atsuko finished, gesturing to Yahiko and Obito’s team with a smile. She passed her eyes over Obito without issue, deciding to fixate on the center of the room in the neutral space. 

“With all of the introductions out of the way, is everyone ready to begin?”

She finally asked, waiting for the resounding cheer before nodding her head and flipping to the first page of questions. 

“Then let’s start.”

————————————————

Atsuko and Kakashi were standing on the platform, huddled together over his track list of points as every one waited on bated breath for the final tally. 

“And your sure it’s right?”

She asked again, and he nodded, pointing out a couple different places and counting the total out loud in her ear. 

“Yeah. Gai and the others had seven, then Hidan’s team got seven too… that means Obito’s team and the kids have eight each. Thirty questions total and none were thrown out.”

He said, whispering as his breath puffed across her neck. She huffed, eyebrows raised in surprise. This was the closest the scores had been since the kids had started playing. Usually, they won with no contest by a range from three to four points. But now there was a tie for first and Atsuko nodded, sound in Kakashi’s math. 

“Alright. I trust you. It’s just never happened before.”

She confirmed, rising up from their huddled position to thumb through the binder. There she always printed out a few additional questions just in case, but she’d never had to use them before. Kakashi gave her a nod in the affirmative, turning to leave the platform before thinking better of it and turning around to whisper something else in her ear. 

“Also, you’re awesome up there. I’m having a great time.”

He said, and she pulled her eyes up from the papers to smile at him. He gave her a subtle wink before turning around and leaving the platform in favor of returning to his chair off to the side. Atsuko turned back to the mic with and surprised expression. 

“Okay. After convening with my score keeper, the results are as follows.” 

She stated, waiting for everyone to settle down from their idle chatter so she could make the announcement. 

“We have a tie for third place, and those results will remain final. With seven points each, we have the Tunnel Snakes and the Knights of Konoha.”

She said, watching as Gai and Shisui shrugged, chuckling and leaning back in their seats to continue their soft conversation with the other people at their table. Hidan was always a sore loser, dropping his forehead to the table with a groan, but the rest of his team simply shrugged it off. She often wondered why Itachi’s team never won, considering how brilliant the young boy was. But a part of her thought maybe he was sabotaging their answers to insure Sasuke’s team’s victory. 

Her eyes moved to the remaining teams. Naruto’s face was screwed up, staring down at his hands as he rapidly counted on his fingers, trying to make sure his math through out the night had been right. It probably wasn’t. Obito’s team was remarkably calm and measured, all of them wearing pleased smirks. Their math was probably right.

“As for first place… for the first time in Trivia Night history, we have a tie.”

Atsuko stated, drawing gasps and murmurs from the crowd. She couldn’t help but chuckle a little into the mic at the dramatics. 

“With eight points each, the fight for first place has narrowed down to two teams. Our reigning champs, the Avengers. And their biggest competition, the Masters of Disguise.”

Atsuko said, pointing to both teams. 

“Now, in the event of a tie, I always keep a few extra questions on hand. I will choose one question. The same rules apply. The first team to raise their hand will get to try to answer first. If they cannot answer the question correctly, then the opportunity will be given to their opponent. If no one answers correctly… fuck it, we’ll flip a coin.”

Atsuko ended, shrugging her shoulders and earning her a few more laughs from the crowd. She smiled, looking down at her paper again to find the question. To avoid any favoritism, she chose a random one before fully reading it, landing on number three on the sheet. 

“Okay. Here is the final question.”

She announced, and the room fell deadly quiet. The only sound in the space the idle noises of chairs groaning and floor boards creaking. Naruto’s entire team was sitting forward with the most intense, coordinated, concentration she’d ever seen from the kids. Even Neji, who was normally unfazed and collected, was on the edge of his seat, his eyebrows pulled down in a scrutinizing glare. Obito’s team on the other hand were still relaxed, several of them sitting back in their chairs. But all of their eyes were trained on her. They were just pretending like they didn’t care. Her eyes scanned the question, letting out a breathy chuckle at the corniness. But nonetheless, she continued. 

“In the age of social media and influencers, the veil between celebrities and average joes has never been thinner. And no one has capitalized on the world’s need for a peak inside the lives of the rich and famous quite like the Kardashian family. From social media, to television, to department stores worldwide, it is nearly impossible to escape their sphere of influence. So, this question shouldn’t be too difficult. What are the names of all of Kourtney Kardashian’s children, in order from oldest to youngest?”

Atsuko finished, watching intently. There was a split second of decision making before two hands flew up at the exact same time. Obito and Shikamaru. Atsuko’s eyes widened in surprise. Not only because of the people attempting to answer a question she was sure neither of them knew, but because she couldn’t tell who’d raised their hand first. Naruto and Kiba began shouting almost immediately, claiming that Shikamaru had been first. But on the other side of aisle, Yahiko and Sasori were saying the same thing about Obito. She glanced over at Kakashi, but he was already on his way up to the platform as the room slowly filled with shouts from different directions. 

“It was Obito. Just by a second.”

Kakashi whispered in her ear, and she glanced up at him to read his face. He simply nodded before turning around and heading back for his chair. Atsuko turned back to face the room. 

“Everyone, please be quiet. Kakashi has informed me that Obito raised his hand first. It was close, but he does get the chance to answer the question first.”

She stated, drawing a resounding groan from Naruto’s table. Still, she turned her eyes in Obito’s direction, nodding softly for him to speak. The first couple of questions he’d answered had been difficult, but she had slipped into her stage persona fairly easily once things started rolling. Now, she was playing impartial judge. Even if she could only feel sadness and disappointment when she looked at him now. 

“Mason, Penelope, and Saint.”

Obito answered, all of the confidence in the world in his voice. He fixed Naruto’s table with a smirk, but Atsuko’s eyes widened as the room filled with hushed murmurs. 

“That answer is… incorrect.”

She said, Obito’s head jerking back in her direction, eyes peeled open in shock as his mouth gaped. But she didn’t linger, the sounds of the unsettling crowd urging her to turn quickly to Shikamaru. This time, he smirked.

“Mason Dash, Penelope Scotland, and Reign Aston.”

He answered, even so confident as to include the children’s middle names. A hush fell over the room and Atsuko decided to let it simmer for a moment, turning her eyes down to the binder in her arms for dramatics. She glanced over at Kakashi, but he simply shrugged in his seat, having no clue if Shikamaru was right or not. With a grin, she lifted her head back to the mic. 

“That… is the correct answer! The Avengers can add another week to their winning streak!”

She announced, the room erupting into wild cheers and laughter. The boys all springing up from their seats and high-fiving over shouts of victory. And Atsuko could only chuckle, nodding as everyone stood from their seats and began mingling. 

“That’s it for Trivia Night. I hope to see everyone next week! The shop will be open for another hour, so feel free to buy drinks and snacks from the front counter and hang out.”

She finished, though she was sure it fell on deaf ears as people chatted incessantly and celebrated. She closed her binder with a smile, eyes scanning over the crowd one more time. And that’s when she caught sight of her. 

Making her way through the crowd in a beeline to Obito was Rin. Atsuko had only ever seen photo’s over her, and she hadn’t noticed the other girl was even in the room before now. But there she was, clear as day as she wiggled between people. Her pin straight brown hair fluttered a bit as she moved, the ends of her bob cut scraping against the sides of her neck. The lighting in the den was dimmer than everywhere else, so she couldn’t make out many details but she was… cute. Short with a tiny, trim, figure. Her eyes were large and round, matching the shape of her face. Almost like a doll, and Atsuko found her head tilting to the side as she observed her. Huh… didn’t seem like the evil bitch she’d assumed she was. When Rin approached Obito from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck, Atsuko didn’t feel as sick as she thought she would. Because Obito smiled when she did it. He grinned unabashedly when she pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek and Atsuko’s hear surged. 

As conflicting as everything had been… in this moment, coming down off the high of hosting Trivia Night and being surrounded by all of her friends, she was happy for him. That kiss they’d shared behind the shop Wednesday afternoon had been tragic for both of them as it saddled them both with the realization that they’d gone past the point of no return. Those memories of the time they’d spent together didn’t fill her with longing anymore. Things had unfolded quickly, but it almost felt like those things had happened to someone else. An episode of a TV Show she’d seen once. Disconnected and distant. Closing a book she loved after reading the final line and sitting in silence for a bit as she paid respect to the impact. She was content with that. Maybe not fully healed… but at the very least content. 

That was until Rin’s arms around Obito’s neck shifted and the light caught something on her wrist. It was just a flash and if she’d blinked, she would have missed it. But dangling there, clear as day, was one of the matching bracelets she’d bought for Obito after their argument about the Suna trip. The same one she’d left on the kitchen counter in the Uchiha household after she’d finished watching Sasuke. The tiny, silver, Moon pendant attached to a braided piece of black leather caused her throat to clench. And when Obito reached up to wrap his hands around her forearms, she noticed that he was still wearing the matching, golden, Sun. 

-----------------------------------------

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Taglist: @iamliacamila​ @actual-spawn-of-satan​ @baboombam 

[captnjacksparrow]

So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS? Because I can't help but think like that when I see them in Boruto. Like no way he wants them to be seen as happy or content. Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hey, after fifteen years of us chasing after the story and characters we invested in so much, at least give us some indication that they are least happy after sooo many sacrifices, like they deserve that happiness.

But no, if anything, they seem totally miserable. What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working. Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

Don't get me wrong, I think Boruto is trash. But I am still in interested in SNS in Boruto because that's still canon. Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

Good ask, Anon☺️☺️❤️❤️

Before answering this, I am going to tell you that I don’t watch Boruto. But I know what happened so far, vaguely. Like, Gaiden arc, Karma seal, Kawaki adoption, Kurama’s death, loss of Rinnegan, Time travel arc. Anyways, I might have missed many interactions between Sasuke & Sakura in the filler episodes or other canonical episodes. I would be happy If you send me an episode list or timestamps in where they interact, so that it saves my time instead of me, watching that entire shit show. 

So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS?

In this post, I dissected SS from a non-SNS perspective. It seems Kishi went all out of his way to make their interactions too insincere, blunt and toxic. I mean Sasuke’s absolute lack of interest in her was very evident even until chapter 693. That is right before, their final VoTE fight. And even after Sakura comes to heal their injuries, he just said ‘Ummmm..... I guess Sorry’... 

Kishi could have made Sasuke say some corny shit to Sakura like how he felt bad inside for hurting her, how he missed her, wiping her tears or whatever (Puke!!!! 🤮🤮🤮). Because in the previous chapter, Sasuke basically confessed to Naruto internally about how he felt about Naruto when he was a child. Kishi could have done the same for Sakura in just 4, 5 panels. But anyways, my point is, Kishi’s moment to salvage that ship is chapter 699. 

But he didn’t.

Did Kishi tried to build their bond after marriage?

He definitely could’ve. But he didn’t. 

This shows his clear distaste in SS.

As for NH, Kishi is indifferent. He neither hates them nor loves them. Kishi created Hinata as a pairing fodder and she still is. 

Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hmmm, I don’t know whether Sasuke hates her, anon. Again, maybe I’ve missed those parts. But when he looks at her, it’s always filled with regrets and an urge to avoid her (like Itachi avoided Sasuke, but for totally sad and genuine reasons). 

But this again begs the question, ‘Why feeling regret or hesitant even after 12 years?’. 

Believe me anon, Love/Bonds/Understanding can happen at anytime of your life. From where I come from, not everyone marries out of love. Arranged marriages are common. But still, many couples make effort and work out their difference, and find love. Kishi could’ve done the same for SS too. 

Is Sasuke that heartless? No.

He was once a boy who bear hugged his brother every time Itachi comes back from the Academy. Itachi’s presence itself made Sasuke so happy. 

Did he become heartless after the massacre? Also no.

Even after the trauma, Sasuke just became aloof and cold. But he always becomes a child who can pout, be silly, becomes animated, bicker around Naruto. So, he can be lovely, but only around the people he choose by himself. 

Still, Sakura is not that person. So, he looks like he is depressed and wants to escape from her at any given chance because of a certain guilt. 

What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working.

To answer, this goes way back, anon. 

Kishi is a person who prefers to write love through intense friendship, sensei-student dynamics and brotherhood. He can occasionally write cute and sweet romance but it can only be short like 2 or 3 pages... or a chapter, max. He can’t go on doing it for 70 chapters for romance. Which was evident from Minato & Kushina, Dan & Tsunade, Obito & Rin. 

But the real deal of Naruto manga is the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. The bond between Itachi and Sasuke also played a huge role in this series. And then comes Hashirama and Madara, Jiraiya and Naruto, Kakshi and Obito, Kakashi and Naruto and many more. So, Kishi pretty much gave an ending he wanted for a long time in chapter 699. He successively pulled off a great manga without corny and shitty romance but with just friendship and brotherhood alone. He didn’t give two shits about NH or SS before chapter 700.

Naruto series’ another success lies on it’s characters tragic backstories. I simply loved them all and most of them made me cry. 

Kishi wanted to move on from Naruto.

But then Money played a big part. Naruto series can be milked in a lot of ways. Editors wanted all the characters to become some baby making dolls. So you have to create pairings. Based on the popularity polls, they decided NH and SS.

In my opinion, Sasuke is a goal-oriented person. He is a wanderer who works on his own accords. Ever since he left Konoha when he was 13, that was his path, so you can’t make him stay in one place. At every stage of his life, he had different goals.

At age 8-15, he had one goal. To kill Itachi. Can he have a romance here? Nope.

At age 16, his goal is to destroy Konoha. No chance of romance in that dark path.

At age 17, he wanted to Revolutionize the shinobi system. Since he wanted to be alone for that goal, no possibility of romance.

At age 18, he adopted Naruto’s dream as his own. To make all shinobi cooperate and look out for Kaguya remains. Romance cannot happen here as he was constantly wandering around and he prefers to work alone.

This is how Kishi designed Sasuke’s character throughout.

Now all of a sudden, if you ask Kishi to go OOC by asking him to write corny romance for his favorite character Sasuke just for the sake of making him relevant to Boruto series, what will he do? 

Since Boruto is a series which is a sequel to Naruto, you pretty much know everyone’s backstory. Those 12 year old New Gen kids possibly can’t have tragic stories like Naruto or Sasuke. 

Kishi being a troller, used this opportunity to create a piss poor sob story for Sarada by making Sasuke as an absentee father and an unloving husband.

He created a sad story for Sarada and he gets to shit on SS ship. Two birds, One stone!!!! 

Now, Sasuke being an unloving husband is OOC ? Nope. He was never a marriage material in the first place. So he is perfectly in-character.

Sasuke being an absentee father is OOC? No and Yes. No, because it’s the effect of the cause I mentioned above. Yes, because unlike Naruto, Sasuke once had a father. He can try to reach her out now and often. but he prefers not to do instead he cares more about Boruto. LOL.

Sasuke being not family oriented is OOC? Nope. He is a goal oriented person. His goal is same as Naruto’s dream. He will go to any extent to fulfill it, even at the expense of his family’s happiness. Because that’s what he learnt from Itachi. What Itachi taught him was, even at the expense of his own happiness and Sasuke’s trauma, he preferred Konoha and Shinobi World’s peace. That’s what Sasuke is doing now. 

Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

As for Naruto, 

I think it’s very funny. And I guess, I know why.

Just like Sasuke, Naruto is also a goal oriented person. 

Remember, in that Boruto movie, Sasuke knocks Naruto’s door at the midnight?

Imagine if Naruto opened the door. 

Sasuke will be like, ‘Alright mothafucka!!! I wanted to die in the VoTE itself. You wanted me in your dream world. Am working my ass off for your stupid dreams and trying to reach you without even meeting my own family. And yet here you are, sleeping well and sound. Am just gonna Chidori you!!!’ LOL.

I think you get my point. 

If you make Sasuke to be an hardworker, then Naruto must work even hard to fulfill his dream. So you possibly can’t have Naruto playing duet with Himata or whatever trash. 

So kishi pulled his Two birds, One Stone for NH here!!!

In short, Kishi gets to make his New generation shine through this pathetic sob stories and at the same time, kept his favorite characters without going OOC. 

So, it’s a polite way of Kishi showing middlefinger to SS and NH for making him do this. He is saying, ‘Alright folks, you wanted this all along. But this is what you will get!!!’.

Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

I think about this all the time. How will they end?? How will they die??

Now, don’t think I am some sadist for wanting them to die. I am just being practical and honest here. This is a new generation series. Of course, at some point, Naruto and Sasuke has to die for the sake of character development. And I will be happy if they die because I don’t like their miserable portrayal in Boruto at all. 

Naruto series has a pattern when it comes to death portrayal. Meaningful characters (except Neji) always die protecting someone/something they cherish. Jiraiya died for Naruto, Yahiko died for Konan & Nagato, Itachi died for Sasuke & Konoha, Haku died for Zabuza, Obito (younger) died for Kakashi & Rin and so on.

Ever since Naruto became Hokage, his death is pretty much plastered on his head. He will die protecting Konoha just like all the Hokages from First to Fourth who sacrificed their life for Konoha. 

But Sasuke??? 

I am going to say he will die protecting Naruto or the village. But for Naruto mostly. Either way, Sasuke will die first. 

Dying for Naruto, the reasons are crystal clear. He already died protecting Naruto once in the Zabuza arc. He will never hesitate to do it again. Which was evident from the way he told Naruto in the Boruto movie while giving his Susanoo, ‘If they capture the real you, then everything is gone’. Somewhere in Boruto Manga chapter 38 (I don’t remember properly), Sasuke was yelling at Naruto, ‘If you are gone, it’s pretty hopeless’ and was praying ‘Naruto, don’t you die’. 

So it’s pretty much Sasuke saying to Naruto, ‘I’ll protect you, You protect everyone’

But why the village?? Why will Sasuke die for Konoha which caused him so much pain?? I know anti-konoha stans wont like this, but that’s the reality.

It seems many Sasuke fans never paid attention to his character. After hearing the story from all the Hokages, Sasuke said, ‘I will not let Itachi’s life and this village into nothing’. He really meant it. Because for Sasuke, Itachi was more precious. Itachi died saying, ‘I’ll have protected my village as Uchiha Itachi of Konoha once again. I have no more regrets’. Sasuke wanted to respect his brother’s wish finally and that’s why he openly claimed in the battlefield, ‘I am going to protect Konoha and become it’s Hokage’. Sasuke’s another precious person is Naruto. He is the Hokage now. 

Don’t you think Sasuke will die protecting something Itachi and Naruto values so much??

He even claimed it openly in Boruto Manga. ‘I would die anytime for Konoha, as has your dad (Naruto)’

Sasuke even said to Boruto, “I will stop you even if I have to kill you”. And do you think Sasuke is just pouring out some empty words??? Sasuke will not let Boruto to turn into an Otsutsuki monster and destroy the village.

Like I said, Sasuke will go out first. And eventually Naruto will follow him. Or they both die protecting the village together. I don’t see them dying for their wives or children. Because, their relationship with their family is not too strong and their ambitions are far beyond their own families.

Maybe for this reason, Kishi is trolling NH and SS in Boruto. LOL.

Naruto’s bond with Sasuke was formed even before his birth, when Kushina asked the 3 month old Baby Sasuke to be friends with Naruto.

However, One thing is for sure. One will not live very long without the Other or Both will die together. That’s how their bond should end. 

[yhwhsdaughter]

Wife material

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕁𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕪𝕒

Requested by @iwannabeacowboahbaybee: Would you be comfortable writing a Jiraiya x reader where the reader pretends to be his wife for a mission. Then during the mission he realizes he actually would not mind settling down on with someone? Maybe the reader 👀? Please let me know if you’re not comfortable with this idea! Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

so this will be younger Jiraiya before the snake thot defected and all that

“Haah? You want me to be your what?”

You were enjoying the day, lounging in a hammock, reading a book when you were approached by Jiraiya.

Apparently he needed to infiltrate a village under the guise of a feudal lord. He’d been comisioned to pose as said person and obtain information crucial to the ongoing war between the two lands. The only problem was that the feudal lord was married.

“So? Can’t you hire someone? What about Tsunade?”

Jiraiya didn’t think it would be this hard to reclute you. The two of you had been friends for the longest time, so why were you being so apprehensive? “We don’t have chemistry. She’d probably punch me if I touched her and ruin the mission.”

You continued reading, making a face of understanding when he mentioned that. It did sound like something Tsunade would do. “If I hired a woman, it would take too long to fill her in. Plus, they’re not shinobi.”

“Neither am I.”

Jiraiya was getting exasperated. While not a shinobi, you practiced taijutsu so you were capable of protecting yourself.

“What about Orochimaru?” He was a talented ninja, skilled enough to take another figure if he desired. At the mention of his teammate, Jiraya shuddered. “Don’t even mention it.”

He sighed. “Please (Name), I need you.”

Hearing his pleas, you put your book down. Your face felt hot. “Stop begging, it’s unlike you. I’ll do it.”

The white haired nin had to use a transformation jutsu but you didn’t. Unlike your usual attire, you had to do wear elegant robes fit for a feudal lord’s wife. You donned them well, bringing out your best features.

“They’re uncomfortable.”

You weren’t used to so many layers wrapped around your figure. Jiraiya looked you over, “Fits you really—” his words died in his mouth when you jabbed his side. Looking at Jiraiya, it was weird seeing him as someone else. He too, was dressed differently than his normal outfit.

“I like you better as yourself.”

“That so?” you looked away from his analyzing eyes, “Don’t let it get to your head.”

The ride was rather boring.

Since it was going to be a long journey, you stopped at place for the night. Seeing as the two of you were ‘married’ it meant sharing a bed. It wasn’t a new concept to the both of you, having had many sleepovers during your teenager years. However, this time it was different.

The annoying white haired kid you once knew had become a man that you deeply desired. Though you’d never voice it, you would do anything for him. But Jiraiya didn’t belong to anyone. He was a ladies man; he couldn’t be tied down.

Getting into bed, you prayed that Jiraiya wouldn’t sense your racing heart. Too late. You felt yourself being pulled into the arms of your companion. “Oh?? Are you nervous (Name)?”

His heart, too, couldn’t sit still so you retorted, “Shut up. Yours is also beating fast.”

Jiraiya fell silent but did not release you.

No, he longed to hold you this close since you first smiled at him. Jiraiya had gotten his ass beat in practice pulling him into a bad mood.

You found him sulking. “Stop pouting. What are you, a child?” He didn’t respond to your teasing as he normally would. You poked him with a stick. “Oi.”

“What can I do to cheer you up..” you wondered aloud.

Hearing this, Jiraiya got a devious look on his face. “I want you to smile for me.” Seemingly surprised by this, you moved backwards, eyes wide. Jiraiya thought you wouldn’t do it. He knew you to be a serious girl, after being orphaned, so it wasn’t often that you smiled freely like the rest.

Jiraiya didn’t realize this back then, but you were happy to smile for him. Despite you insisting that he was a dummy, Jiraiya always found a way to brighten your day. What kind of friend would you be if you didn’t return the favor?

Smiling for Jiraiya, he felt his little heart beat faster, almost stop, before settling down. The sun held nothing to the warmth of your smile. He decided then that he would always love you.

Arriving to the village, important political figures of the land met at the imperial garden for a picnic. They’d all brought their families to discuss and celebrate.

One of your hands held onto Jiraiya’s arms, linking hands together, bodies pressed together. The wedding bands brushed against each other. Though you felt blissful your eyes scanned the area without trying to look suspicious.

You figured Jiraiya would join the men. Instead, he led you downwards. The white haired nin placed his head on your lap, closing his eyes. Had it not been for those present, you would’ve thrown him off.

Feeling awkward, you began to play with his hair. If it was possible, Jiraiya snuggled closer, freezing you. “You’re enjoying this a little too much aren’t you?”

“Not my fault you’re comfortable.”

By now, most of the wives, husbands, and children had moved to the other side of the garden. Jiraiya nudged you, making you lean down to hear him better. He whispered in your ear, his breath tickling your skin.

“Everyone’s gone. We should use this chance to consummate our marria-ACK!”

Pushing him, Jiraiya landed face first onto the grass before you mounted him to slap his dirty thoughts away. “You’re—on a mission— stop it!”

The best he could do was grab at your hands. Some of the guests must have heard the commotion because they peaked in to see you straddling Jiraya.

Distracted, you lost your balance. Jiraiya’s hands gripped your hips tightly to help but it only looked worse. The position, your red face, Jiraiya’s smug smile was all they needed to know before leaving the area again.

“Pardon the interruption!” “We’ll leave you now!”

You couldn’t even explain. Shooting your partner a glare, Jiraiya quietly explained that he needed to make a distraction so one of his toads could steal a scroll. “It was the only way to rile you up!”

“My ass-!” He could’ve just asked and you would have gone along with the plan.

“Yeah it’s very nice 👍 ”

Jiraiya hurried to meet the other men before you actually strangled him. It was boring but he payed close attention to every word that came out of their old mouths.

One of the leaders glanced at something, causing the rest to follow. It was you comforting a crying child.

You never imagined having kids, but you had an innate talent for calming them down. The little girl stopped crying, giving you a smile which you returned. It was a sweet scene, kind of dazzling in its own way. Those around couldn’t help but be affected and attracted.

“You got a good one feudal lord.” “Yes. I’d take her if she wasn’t married to you.”

Jiraiya laughed amicably but on the inside he was fuming. It was one thing for him to tease you, his life long friend and another for these old farts to ogle at you.

Sensing their states, you turned. Your eyes instantly became colder, sending shivers down their spines as if you knew what they were saying.

As the mission was complete; Jiraiya had extracted all the information he could, he transformed back.

Everyone, including you, stared at him with saucer eyes. You were confused. He wasn’t supposed to reveal his identity at all?? A bodyguard, figuring it out, jumped to attack but you kicked him away.

A fight ensued.

Jiraiya got the chance to use his abilities freely. By the end, every threat was down. You looked exhausted, it was difficult to fight in a long ceremonial robe. Not to mention that Jiraiya’s toads had made a mess. “Did... did you have to go all out?”

He didn’t.

The reason why Jiraiya went through all this trouble was to get back at those men for speaking too intimately of you. But, you didn’t need to know that so he gave you a shameless grin.

“Ugh. You’re so troublesome you know that?”

“But you love me~”

Things went back to normal when you returned to Konoha. You kept the ring, not taking it off and staring at it from all kinds of angles. It was fitting. Jiraiya did the same, which caused some comments from Orochimaru. Oh boy.

At night, you both missed the warmth of each other.

It took a while for Jiraiya to realize that he wouldn’t mind settling with you. Even if you didn’t want marriage, he would be happy just to be at your side. To sleep next to you for as long as he lived. Deciding it was time to say this, he ran to your house.

You laid in bed, bored. Your thoughts eventually led you to reminisce on the mission. Wife. Jiraiya’s wife. Wife of Jiraiya? You voiced it aloud, trying to decided which one sounded better. “Aaagh! It’s no use!” It was best to take a walk to clear your head.

Opening the door, something hit your forehead a bit hard. You nearly stumbled back, “Ow!” Jiraiya blinked in surprise. “Oh! My bad.”

You opened one eye, “Jiraiya it’s you.. I was— come in.”

It was aaaaawkward.

Jiraiya sat in front of you, silent. You stated at him, wondering why he showed up. He merely toyed with the glass of water you’d offered. You bit your lip anxiously. It was your chance to confess.

“So about the mission—”

“I want you—“

Both of you stopped midsentence. Jiraiya cleared his throat. “I want to settle with you. Marriage, kids, living together.. whatever you want. As long as I can be with you.”

You could not help your excitement. “I want that too!!”

“I mean, it’s whatever. Yeah I could live with you and stuff...”

The white haired nin couldn’t help but laugh.

He loved you.

And you loved him.

[shikamarubae]

War of the heart pt3

Pairing:  Kakashi x reader, Itachi x reader

Summary: In Konoha they have already realized your kidnapping and they need a plan.

Warnings: Some swearing, some angst

A/N:  English isn´t my first languge, please keep that in mind, i hope you like it.(i appreciate comments and criticism).

The parts in italics are memories/dreams with memories.

Tags: @flowersgirl02​ , @affection-rabbit​ ,  @dumb-dork​

Part 1  Part 2 Part 4

Kakashi was angry, mainly at himself, you had not returned to Konoha and when his dogs tried to track you down they failed, the grove where he had last seen you was empty, your blood dried on the ground but the dogs found no trace, it was as if you vanished. The man was grateful that Naruto was traveling with Jiraiya, because otherwise he would be creating a scandal that would make him feel worse, because he saw how you looked at him when you fell to the ground, sad and disappointed, would you have left of your own free will?

-Let's go back-Genma was still determined to find a trace but they had to return to officially report their disappearance and decide what to do and it was raining, looking for more didn't make sense, the remaining trail would be about to be erased. The gray-haired man closed his eyes for a few seconds, feeling the rain, you liked it, you had told him many times, you liked the smell that storms brought and the one they left after.

"I can't believe you left her alone," the long-haired man murmured, Kakashi didn't say anything because he was right, he also couldn't believe that his irrational anger with her had caused all that -What were you thinking Kakashi?

Again there was no response from the gray-haired man and Gemma kept pressing -You know, (YN) said something to me a few weeks ago, that you didn't want to be serious with her and that's why you had discussed. Did you let that interfere up to this point ?

-Of course it´s like her to tell the world that kind of things - he replied tiredly, avoiding the rest of the question.

-It´s not something that only she does, we are friends and after finding her crying i forced her to tell me, I don't know how your relationship worked but it was destroying her.

Kakashi didn´t answer, the silence seemed to be his best answer and thus he kept it all the way back to Konoha, he had never wanted the type of relationship he had with the you to be discussed by the village, because he was not even sure what kind of relationship did he wanted , but of course with you things never worked as one wanted and that was one of the reasons why Kakashi despite loving you in some way, he couldn´t bear with you on certain occasions.

"If (YN) was her sweet-self all the time, i wouldn´t have those doubts"  that´s where Kakashi´s mind arrived, because after all, it was that side of you that had made him surrender to you.

You were going up and down in the small apartment, you were remarkably busy, so Kakashi decided to stay at the window watching what you were doing until you noticed or you were done.

-Kakashi-senpai, what are you doing there?

-Naruto forgot her things-he said entering the apartment-and you don't have to call me Senpai, we are no longer in ANBU.

You smiled at the comment and nodded.

-Of course he forgot, I think he hardly slept because of how excited he is -you said smiling as you finished packing food in various boxes.

-Do you think he will pass?- He asked, leaning on the kitchen counter, arms folded. You nodded again.

-If you have recommended them for the exam is because they, I trust your criteria.

-Do not trust my criteria, trust their abilities.

-Isn't that what your criteria is based on?-You asked finally finishing packing everything and giving it to him.

-What is this?- He asked confused.

-It is four food rations, three for the boys and one for you, I know that these exams are not easy for them or for you.

For some reason you had blushed while giving him the food and it was difficult for you to look at him in the eyes, with effort you raised your eyes and found his visible eye in the shape of a crescent moon, his free hand rested on your head -So sweet (YN)...

The comment made you blush even more and you looked at the floor, his hand still on your head, stroking your hair, you smiled nervously and pointed to one of the doors-Naruto's things are in his room.

Kakashi rubbed his face, why had he remembered that while waiting for Tsunade to receive them? His head kept spinning, "had i really treated (YN) so bad?"

-Kakashi have you heard?

-No, this ..... I was thinking-he apologized while Iruka continued talking, not only was Gemma angry with him, Iruka was also, although he didn't say it. If Naruto was like his son, (YN) was like his sister.

-ANBU returning from a mission found this-pointed the Hokage towards the table, on it a bloody sword and next to it a piece of cloth- the problem is that it was very far from the area where (YN) was supposed to be and there are other scents.

-Then ... she did not leave on her own-Iruka concluded what everyone thought-Are you going to create a search party?

The Hokage nodded-I'll send team 8.

-Not me?

-I'm sorry, Kakashi, but it's the best team to track a missing person.

-Add me to the team -he protested leaning on the table- it's my responsibility, I'm the one who left her there.

-Kakashi is right-said Iruka. Kurenai can't handle it, she has to deal with ...

-All right, you will leave tomorrow, in the found objects there is still a trace of the other people so I will find her , don't worry.

The man went straight to his apartment, he didn't want to meet anybody else, he didn't want any more questions or comments about what happened, he thought of going to the hospital to see how Yona was, but he didn't feel like it either. When he opened the door to the apartment, the darkness and the emptiness hit him, since Naruto was not in Konoha, the normal thing was that you would have stayed with him and when he opened the door you would turn on all the lights quickly to go to the kitchen, open the fridge and scold him for having it empty or if you had not arrived together, you would already be there, perched on the sofa, eating something and reading a book and then you would tell him the whole story several times and repeat yourself more than necessary because you always lost yourself in your own narration.

Kakashi didn't understand why he was starting to miss it at that moment, when he had had plenty of time to do it, it had been weeks or maybe even two months since your last discussion, which ended it all.

Maybe it was because he kept seeing you around the village and  knew you were safe, that he had not thought about the solitude of the apartment, because despite the endless discussions you had always come back and deep down, maybe he assumed that this time was the same.

Kakashi was disappointed, you knew, he always looked at you like that when something similar happened, his expression of boredom replaced by disgust and disappointment, not wanting to speak to you, but you continued.

-I don't want to see you near me again, you understand?- You almost shouted at the boy in the face, he looked at you trembling and nodded nervously before turning and leaving quickly, people around you looked and murmured by the scene they just witnessed  "WHAT?" You said loud, looking around and everyone continued with their things.

When the boy was out of your sight, Kakashi wasn't there either, you found him a few minutes later in his apartment.

-I thought we were going to eat together.

His usual bored expression back, you stood leaning against the door, his body language told you he didn't want you to come in, you clenched your fists ready to get mad at him, but he spoke first.

-Don't throw a tantrum on me (YN) I don't have time for that.

-You have nothing to do for two days or at least you said that three hours ago.

-I changed my mind-with the book in his hand he started to close the door but you stopped him with your foot, opening it and going inside, to the clear chagrin of the man who was pinching the bridge of his nose clearly reluctantly.

-Is this change in attitude because I rejected that guy a while ago?

-Aren't you able to see what you've done wrong?

-I'm not a kid, don't talk to me like you're educating me, besides, shouldn't you be jealous or something like that?

Kakashi's expression was unreadable at the time, he simply denied as if giving up and dropped onto the sofa reading his book-You can come back when you realize, until then, goodbye, close the door well when you leave.

Fed up with his attitude you threw your bag at his face, making him put the book aside -What's your fucking problem? -You yelled exasperated by the situation, all you wanted was a quiet date on your day off and in the end you finished like that.

-My problem is this, you can't be cruel to someone just because they ask for a date and then come and yell and throw things at me -he said getting up and filling the door to open it, standing aside, as a gesture for you to leave.

-It's the fifth time this week that this guy is chasing me to "ask me on a date", sometimes it´s necessary to be cruel with assholes who don't understand no, so fuck off Kakashi, I have every right to shout and get mad-you walked even the door facing him-you are the one who is being irrational and I don't understand it -you went out on the landing and he closed the door without saying anything else- sometimes I don't understand you-you murmured before leaving, confused, angry and sad.

That had been one of the infinite discussions you had, but you always fixed it, except for the last one, despite that Kakashi kept finding your things around his apartment, books, some glasses for the tea that you had brought, a kettle, the toothbrush , spare clothes...everything was as if at any moment you were going to walk through the door and hug him or complain about something and again Kakashi, while taking one of your books, wondered why he had taken so long to miss you and feel that nostalgia.

He took the bookmark inside, it was a craft that Naruto had given you many years ago, it was shrill as the boy but adorned with daisies, he removed it from the book and put it in his jacket - I'm going to find you.

[misharuu]

All You Had To Do Was Ask ; Part Four/Four (END)

part one. part two. part three.

Fandom: Naruto Shippuden (you only need basic knowledge of the fandom to enjoy this story; only the subplot mentions the canon!)

Pairing: Jiraiya x Naruto

Warnings/Tags: NSFW ; yaoi, previous suicide attempt, graphic self harm, sickfic, whump, emeto, alcohol poisoning, mental illness, hallucinations, insomnia, homophobic slurs by a villain (in italicized portion, bolded dialogue).

Summary: After Naruto’s suicide attempt Jiraiya is trying to keep him together. The Nine Tails’ seal is back intact, leaving it unable to torment Naruto anymore, but he’s still struggling with the aftermath; PTSD, nightmares, and flashbacks. This time Jiraiya is here to put back all the pieces, here to hold him through the night.

Word Count: 7,591

A/N: so jiraiya has saved naruto’s life and sealed the fox away, but there is still residual damage. naruto is plagued with flashbacks and nightmares and is struggling to cope. but don’t worry, jiraiya to the rescue!feedback is loved ^^

AO3. FF.

PART FOUR: COMFORT

A few hours had passed since Jiraiya returned to the onsen and found Naruto nearly bled dry in the bathtub. Jiraiya felt like his body was made of stone; so exhausted from his overuse of chakra trying to save Naruto’s life and stiff from falling asleep on the floor that he was surprised he could even move. As soon as he was fully awake he pulled himself to his feet and checked on Naruto. His skin was still much too pale and covered with a sickly sweat but he was warm again. Jiraiya let out a sigh of relief, heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower, still covered in Naruto’s blood. He tried to make it as fast as possible, barely even allowing himself to enjoy the hot water loosening his stiff muscles. He hopped out of the shower as soon as he turned off the water, quickly towel drying his hair, wrapping the towel around his hips and hastily heading back into the living room. He wanted to make sure he’d be there the second Naruto woke up.

Jiraiya threw his clothes on and stood over Naruto on the couch. He reached out a hand and let it linger over Naruto’s forehead; he was a bit too warm but nothing to worry about. The blood loss and inevitable alcohol poisoning was another story. That wasn’t such an easy fix without an extremely experienced medical ninja around. Jiraiya frowned as he raked his brain for some sort of way to help Naruto heal; there must be something he could do to help. He knew that he’d need to push as much fluids on Naruto as possible to restore the volume of his blood. The boy also needed food, but he knew it would probably be a while before he felt like he could eat again. Jiraiya made a clone of himself to go to the store to get some juice and food while he stayed by Naruto’s bedside, patiently waiting for him to wake up. The clone set out quickly, not wasting any time. Jiraiya sighed as he pulled up the desk chair to Naruto’s side, just staring at the boy as he waited for him to stir. “Take your time, I’ll be here.”

——————————

Jiraiya patiently sat by the couch, starting to get antsy. Just as he was starting to panic and about to send notice to Tsunade Naruto groaned, shifting just a bit below the covers. Jiraiya instantly leaned over and placed a hand on Naruto’s forehead. “You with me, kid?” he asked anxiously, frowning at how pale Naruto was. Naruto was too weak to open his eyes and sounds were slowly coming back to him, echoed and distorted, sounding like he was underwater. He groaned again as his stomach flip flopped, his arm subconsciously wrapping around his abdomen. He felt a hand on his face, gently touching his cheek, feeling for a fever. Naruto wanted to reach out for the hand but he could barely move, his limbs felt like they were weighed down, much too heavy for him to control. He was so dizzy and lightheaded that he was surprised he didn’t pass out, feeling like the room was spinning underneath him. Naruto whimpered sickly as he was finally able to blink his eyes open, assaulted with lights and colors, everything shifting and multiplying. “Naruto? Stay with me, I’m here,” Jiraiya whispered, pressing a hand down on the younger man’s forehead.

”Sssss-sen-sensei?” Naruto struggled to choke out, too dizzy and unsteady to even see Jiraiya’s face clearly, only able to make out a silver blob. “Dddd-don’ f-feel s’good,” Naruto drunkenly slurred, voice so unsteady and quivering that he was surprised he could even form a sentence.

”I’m here, don’t worry, I’ve gotcha,” Jiraiya promised, gripping the younger man’s upper arm. Naruto whined at the heavy sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, trying as hard as he could to focus his vision so he could see clearly but he failed, left feeling like he was on a boat in the middle of a storm, rocking and tipping uncontrollably, nowhere near stable land. His head was pounding, a severe, sharp pain that doubled whenever he moved even an inch, snaking it’s way down his neck. He furrowed his eyebrows and hissed as his stomach spasmed, rebelling as the room spun. Naruto felt tears welling in his eyes as he suffered through the pain, still hazy on the events of the previous night, unsure why he felt so sick. “Don’t worry, kiddo, it’ll be alright... I’m here, I’m not letting go...” Jiraiya placed his hand on top of Naruto’s. Naruto quickly moved his hand so that his fingers were laced between Jiraiya’s, finally feeling like he had something steady to grip on to, an anchor in this wild storm. He whimpered as an overwhelming nausea started to overcome him, a cold sweat breaking out on his neck, saliva pooling in his mouth. Jiraiya saw the boy start to turn green around the edges and quickly slid his arm under his neck, his other hand on his side as he pulled Naruto into a sitting position, trying to make sure he wouldn’t choke if he got sick. The sudden motion made Naruto’s already spinning vision tilt out of control, he groaned and gripped onto the couch, desperate for some amount of stability. He felt all of the blood drain from his head, becoming so light headed he felt like he was going to pass out. He felt the couch dip below him as Jiraiya sat on the cushion beside him, trying to keep Naruto upright as his head lolled back, too dizzy to keep himself up.

‘He has alcohol poisoning from downing that whole bottle. If he doesn’t puke it up before his body metabolizes it all this situation could become fatal,’ Jiraiya frowned as he reached for the garbage can on the floor. Jiraiya waited a moment to see if Naruto’s body would expel the alcohol on its own, but he was too weak, allowing his head to fall onto Jiraiya’s shoulder, heavy eyelids threatening to slide shut. “Shit,” Jiraiya cursed to himself as he got up off the couch and headed to the kitchen; this wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to handle alcohol poisoning and thankfully he knew what to do. He got Naruto a glass of cold water and grabbed the carton of juice from the fridge. This would work better if he could force some crackers or bread into Naruto’s stomach but he knew the kid wouldn’t be able to handle that right now, the blood loss making the situation even harder to deal with. He grabbed a washcloth and wet it with cold water, knowing that the cool water comforted Naruto when he was sick. Jiraiya held the glass of water in his hand as he placed the juice on the table, wiping the sweat off Naruto’s face with the washcloth. “Alright, kid, you’re not gonna like this,” he murmured softly as he held the water to Naruto’s lips, relieved when he started taking small sips. “Good, that’s it, drink it all,” he coached as Naruto struggled to drink the whole glass, rivulets of water snaking down to his chin, clearly having a hard time getting it all down but wanting to follow Jiraiya’s orders.

Jiraiya placed the empty glass down on the ground and picked up the garbage can, holding it in Naruto’s lap as the boy feebly tried to grip it. “I’m so sorry, kid, this is gonna suck,” he gently pushed Naruto’s hair off his forehead as he placed his hand on the younger man’s cheek, forcing his lips to part. Jiraiya winced as he shoved two fingers into Naruto’s mouth, pulling his hand away as soon as he felt his fingertips graze the back of his throat. Naruto’s eyes shot open as his gag reflex was forcefully activated, bending forward as his stomach clenched, violently burping up a wave of alcohol and water. Jiraiya rubbed Naruto’s back, placing the washcloth over the back of his neck, trying to soothe the boy as he held the can for him under his chin. Naruto whimpered as he got sick, dry heaving as his body tried to purge the sake from his system. “That’s it, get it all up,” Jiraiya soothed, grimacing as Naruto struggled to empty his stomach. He started to shake as he cramped up again, coughing harshly as he burped up more alcohol and bile. He had a few moments to pant and sniffle before starting to gag, coughing up the last dribble of liquid in his stomach. He lifted a shaky hand and wiped his tears on his sleeve, still feeling weak and useless but his senses felt sharper, more alert. Jiraiya placed the can on the ground, wincing at the fullness of it, audibly sloshing. Naruto sat frozen for a moment as memories of the previous night started to slip back in through the cracks. He slowly looked down at his arms, his eyebrows furrowing as he took in the smooth, unmarked skin. Naruto felt Jiraiya pulling the blanket up around his shoulders, realizing that he was being overcome with uncontrollable shakes, his teeth chattering.

Jiraiya took Naruto into his arms as the tears started, trying to steady his shivering frame. He cried pitifully, confused and angry that he was still alive, forcefully being dragged back to sobriety. “W-w-why?” Naruto slurred, his voice full of pain, “w-why didn’ you l-let me die?” Jiraiya had to hold his breath to stop himself from snapping, biting his tongue.

Jiraiya let out a shaky breath, “why did you do that? What were you thinking?” Jiraiya pried sadly, forcing Naruto to look him in his eyes. All he saw behind the boy’s tears was pain and confusion and it broke his heart, pulling the boy to his chest. The question snapped Naruto in two as he devolved into a fit of gasping sobs, afraid and hurt. “Naruto, what happened? Why did you think you had to do that?” he pressed him, pulling Naruto fully into his lap. Naruto threw his arms around Jiraiya’s neck, clinging on to him tightly.

”I-I-I didn’ know www-what else to do!” he wailed, burying his tear stained face into Jiraiya’s neck. “H-he was gonna t-take over and-a-and-and...” Naruto struggled to get the words out, clenching his teeth, “hhh-h-he was g-gonna kill you... h-he made me k-kill you... I-I-I sss-s-snapped your n-neck and -,” he shook his head desperately, trying to force away the memories, remembering the feeling of Jiraiya’s broken neck hanging off his shoulders as he held his corpse. “I-I couldn’t take it anymore... h-h-he was gonna b-break the seal... I h-had to ssss-s-stop him,” Naruto squeezed his eyes shut.

”Shh, it’s okay now. It’s over. The seal was weakened but I was able to fix it. I won’t let anything like that happen to you again. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into Naruto’s ear, holding him tightly as he cried. There wasn’t much he could say or do to make the situation easier for him to deal with so he decided to stay silent. Jiraiya pet Naruto’s hair and wiped away his tears as they fell, offering him soft encouragements. He just sounded so hurt; so broken and desperate that Jiraiya found himself tearing up. He rocked Naruto in his arms until he started to calm down, brushing his hands through his hair, holding him tenderly.

”Why do you stay... Why do you care about me? I-I don’t deserve it... I’m broken, useless... Just shattered pieces,” Naruto muttered with his face pressed against Jiraiya’s neck, voice muffled by his shoulder. Jiraiya shook his head sadly.

”You’re hurting and I’m not leaving until I put back all the pieces,” he promised gently, shifting Naruto’s weight in his lap so he could lay him back down on the couch. “Here, kid. I got you some juice. Pineapple, your favorite. You need to drink as much as you can... To make up for the blood loss,” he grabbed the carton and unscrewed the cap, handed it to Naruto, not even bothering with a cup. The younger man just nodded as he took a few sips, wincing as it filled his aching stomach. “Don’t rush; take your time. We don’t need you getting sick again.” Naruto still felt incredibly weak and dizzy, his head pounding loudly in his ears. Jiraiya tucked him back in and reclaimed his seat next to the couch, hoping to allow Naruto to rest.

”S-sensei?” Naruto squeaked.

Jiraiya glanced at him, concerned that something was wrong, but his lips turned up into a smile as he saw Naruto lifting his blanket, wanting him to lay next to him on the couch. “I don’t think we’ll both fit, kid, I’m a bit bigger than you,” Jiraiya chuckled as he watched Naruto’s crestfallen face. “C’mon,” he murmured, wrapping the blanket tighter around Naruto’s shoulders before carefully lifting him up into his arms. Naruto wrapped his arms around Jiraiya’s neck as he carried him into the bedroom and laid Naruto onto his mattress with great care, trying not to shake him up too much. Jiraiya used his feet to push his own mattress across the floor until the two were touching. He laid down with a deep sigh, pulling his blanket on top of Naruto to make sure he was warm enough, his body still lightly shaking. “T-thanks,” Naruto stuttered, curling up into his pillow, trying to ignore the pain in his head and stomach. He squeezed his eyes tight as the pain in his head ratcheted up a few notches, bile rising up the back of his throat. He tried to breathe through the pain but was having a hard time doing so, rolling onto his side away from Jiraiya, trying to choke down a groan but failing.

”You okay, kid?” Jiraiya asked, allowing his fingers to gently rest on the side of Naruto’s neck, feeling his pulse racing. Jiraiya pulled him close to his chest, his fingers grazing the boy’s temple before gently pressing down, massaging the pain away. He sighed with relief but was quickly interrupted by the ominous churning in his stomach, a whimper escaping his lips. He pulled his knees tight to his chest, breath coming out in quick pained gasps. “Do you want me to do the thing?” Jiraiya asked sleepily, already moving his hand down towards Naruto’s stomach as he nodded. Jiraiya rubbed his stomach in soft light circles, smiling slightly as he felt Naruto relax under his fingertips. “Doesn’t this feel familiar?” Jiraiya whispered and Naruto felt his face flush. They laid that way for a while, neither quite able to sleep, so much left unsaid. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I couldn’t bear to lose you,” Jiraiya said softly, nuzzling his face into Naruto’s hair.

”Why?” Naruto asked, heart fluttering in his chest.

”I just... can’t stand to be away from you. You’ve got this hold of me that I can’t explain. I’m sorry for being such an idiot, I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us and I never will. I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. It will never happen again. I’m going to take care of you from now on. I will make it up to you, every second that I’m with you I just want to see you smile,” Jiraiya vowed in a hushed voice, wishing he could live in this moment forever. Naruto turned onto his back and then rolled onto his side, facing Jiraiya, staring up at him sadly. Jiraiya let his hand linger over Naruto’s cheek, soft skin below his fingertips. Naruto couldn’t find the words to respond, afraid that if he tried to speak he’d just wind up crying, so instead he craned his neck and reached for Jiraiya’s cheek, kissing his lips so softly that it felt like he wasn’t even there.

Jiraiya let his hand wander in Naruto’s hair, gripping his side as he kissed him harder. Naruto pulled away and let out a shaky sigh as he felt his head spin. He laid his head on Jiraiya’s chest, listening to the steady sound of his breaths as they drifted to sleep in each others arms.

——————————

The next few days passed uneventfully. Naruto slowly but surely recovered from his physical injuries but Jiraiya couldn’t fight the nagging feeling that he still wasn’t 100%. Every now and then he’d catch Naruto wincing, a pained expression on his face. He’d ask what was wrong but Naruto would laugh it off, coming up with lame excuses. “Just a headache,” he’d say. He woke up in a pool of sweat every night, screaming himself awake. It would take hours for Jiraiya to calm him enough to get him back to sleep, and it was getting to the point that he could tell Naruto was afraid to go to sleep, afraid to face whatever lurked in his head, confronting him in his dreams.

He still struggled to eat but Jiraiya was able to put a few pounds on him, trying to help him regain his strength. For now training was on hold. Naruto wasn’t happy about that and voiced his complaints often, but Jiraiya didn’t want to push him again; he couldn’t handle the thought of breaking him. Naruto spent a long time in the bathroom when he’d shower and Jiraiya couldn’t ignore the bruises on his knuckles and the little crescent moon shaped cuts on his palms. Every night Jiraiya would offer to heal him, but Naruto wouldn’t allow him, ashamedly avoiding eye contact. It was getting to the point that Jiraiya couldn’t keep up the act; he needed to put a stop to this once and for all.

The Fox’s seal was back in place so Jiraiya knew that couldn’t be the issue. The trauma went deeper than that, something old and scarred over was opening up again, drawing fresh blood.

——————————

Naruto found himself laying in the middle of a sun baked field, wildflowers tickling his cheeks as a warm wind ruffled his hair. He sighed lazily as he folded his arms underneath his head, turning his gaze to the side to beam at Jiraiya. Jiraiya chuckled and reached over to touch Naruto’s whiskered cheek, gazing at him so tenderly that it made Naruto’s heart flutter. He reached up and placed his hand over Jiraiya’s, pure bliss. They sat silently, enjoying the sun on their skin, a sweet scent on the air.  Naruto turned over onto his stomach, propping his head up in his hands, elbows resting on the ground. He stared up at Jiraiya’s face thoughtfully before speaking carefully, “will it still be like this once my training’s over? After we try to bring Sasuke back... when we’re back at the village?”

”After we bring Sasuke back, you mean, not after we try,” he corrected with a light smile. “No matter where we are it will always be like this. As long as I’m with you... that’s all that matters.” Naruto blushed and grinned, flopping onto his back with his head in Jiraiya’s lap. He reached his fingers to Jiraiya’s lips, tracing them with a gentle touch before wrapping his arm around Jiraiya’s neck for leverage. He pulled himself up and kneeled next to Jiraiya, forcefully planting a kiss on his lips. Naruto parted his lips and took in Jiraiya’s taste, sliding into the older man’s lap, grinding their hips together. Jiraiya broke their kiss with a chuckle, “you’re gonna be the death of me, kid,” he said full of adoration. Naruto jumped back into the kiss with an aggressive growl, nipping his bottom lip. Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s hips, forcefully grinding him down on his hard cock. Naruto moaned as he dry humped Jiraiya, using his feet for leverage. His head fell into the crook of Jiraiya’s neck and the older man took advantage of the position, the tip of his tongue dancing across Naruto’s neck before he sucked down on his skin. “Ah!” Naruto gasped at the sensation, his cock throbbing uncomfortably in his pants as he rubbed against Jiraiya’s erection, desperately seeking friction. He felt Jiraiya’s warm breath on his skin, loving the way it felt when he marked him; claimed him as his.

Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s hips with both hands, grinding upwards as Naruto’s movements became frantic. “A-ah, fuck,” the blond gasped as he felt the familiar coiling in his stomach, “s-so fucking close.”

Jiraiya smirked, “gonna cum just from rubbing against me? So easy,” he teased, reaching his hand down between Naruto’s legs, stroking his length agonizingly slow through the fabric.

”F-fuck, don’t stop,” Naruto demanded, thrusting erratically in Jiraiya’s grasp. “G-gonna cum,” he panted, nuzzling into Jiraiya’s neck. As soon as he felt his release mounting he felt the air around him growing cold. He snapped his head up and froze as he realized the field they were in was slowly morphing; the grass gave way to shallow, warm water. The sky turned dark, sucking in the light like a void. Naruto grabbed onto Jiraiya frightfully, and as soon as he was starting to feel safe again Jiraiya disappeared in the blink of an eye. Naruto crashed into the water on his knees as he lost the purchase of Jiraiya’s lap, staring around in shock. He got to his feet and looked around, instantly recognizing where he was.

’You stupid boy. I knew you’d fail, and now all you’ve done is piss me off,’ the Fox’s ominous voice growled, sending shockwaves through the water.  ”N-no, Jiraiya-sensei sealed you away. You aren’t real,” Naruto snarled angrily, his hands balling into fists. He glared into the darkness as the Fox’s laughter floated to his ears. ‘I see, now that you’re his butt buddy you think he’ll protect you?’ the Fox mocked, ���where was he when you carved up your arms? Was he protecting you then?’ Naruto felt tears in his eyes, his lower lip quivering as he tried to fight them away. “Shut up. Just fucking leave me alone,” Naruto begged, indignantly sinking to his knees in the warm water. ‘Suddenly so protective of him now that you’re his favorite little faggot. What’s gonna happen when he trades up? You think he wants to deal with your baggage? He just wants something warm to bury his dick into.’ Naruto shook his head violently, pressing his hands over his ears, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU’RE WRONG!”

The Fox laughed hysterically at this, crimson eyes flashing through the all consuming darkness. ‘Don’t forget what I told you. I’ll still have you; I’ll still make you mine. I’m still going to snap his neck and make you watch. Make you drink his blood through a straw.’ Naruto felt sick as he tried with all his might to ignore the Fox’s words, struggling for air as he panicked. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain searing across his wrists, gasping as he held his arms out in front of him. He saw the Fox’s clawed hands gripping his wrists, cutting into his delicate skin, clean horizontal cuts. “S-stop!” Naruto begged, trying desperately to get out of the Fox’s grasp but not finding enough strength. He shook uncontrollably as he watched his blood spill, the Fox finally releasing his grasp. Naruto held his arms to his chest, trying to put pressure on his wounds. He was breathing hard, hyperventilating as the sound of the Nine Tails’ laughter roared in his ears. His vision went black as he passed out.

——————————

Naruto slowly blinked his eyes open, the harsh lights in the bathroom burning into his retinas. He took a seconds to take in his surroundings, sitting up slowly. He was on the cold marble floor, fear sinking in as he raked his brain trying to figure out how he’d gotten there. He reached up to rub his eyes as he realized there was something clutched in his hand. A kunai, blood dripping from the sharp tip. He fearfully looked down, his worst nightmares finding their way into reality; each of his wrists had a deep horizontal cut slicing his pale skin, blood pooling on the ground beneath him. He gasped, quickly losing control of his thoughts, staring at his bloody hands with wide eyes as he began hyperventilating.

There was a knock on the door but he was frozen; hands shaking as he stared at the blood dipping down his arms. He heard someone talking but it sounded so far away; all he could concentrate on was the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He heard the door being kicked open, wood splintering as it had to be forced, the lock not allowing the knob to turn. There was suddenly hands on him, white towels instantly turning crimson as they were wrapped around his arms. Someone was shaking him, hard, but he couldn’t move, completely paralyzed. He felt a hand lay a harsh slap across his face; that did it.

Naruto gasped as he dropped the kunai, his hands shaking. Jiraiya was kneeling in front of him, hands on his cheeks, a pleading look on his face. “Naruto, snap out of it!” Jiraiya was about to slap Naruto again but stopped as the boy finally focused.

”F-fuck, w-what the fuck...” Naruto stuttered, blinking repeatedly, his vision tinged black around the edges.

”What happened?!” Jiraiya demanded as he squeezed the towels to Naruto’s arms, causing him to wince in pain.

”I-I don’t know,” Naruto stammered, “I-I just... I just woke up here...”

Jiraiya ran a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do. “Fuck, okay, stay here. Keep pressure on that,” he demanded as he jumped up, hurriedly leaving the room. Naruto did as he was told, cradling his arms to his chest as he started panicking, devolving back into hyperventilation. Jiraiya was back in an instant, “hey!” He snapped his fingers in front of Naruto’s face, causing him to jump. “Stay with me!” Jiraiya pulled out rolls of gauze, lifting off the bloody towels. He harshly pulled Naruto to his feet, causing him to slip in the puddle of blood. He turned on the sink and forced Naruto’s wrists under the water. Naruto winced at the sharp pain but complied with Jiraiya’s every move. Jiraiya dried off his arms before quickly bandaging his cuts,  trying to be as delicate as possible. Naruto’s vision started to tunnel and he felt himself falling, unable to catch himself. Jiraiya grabbed him before he could crack his head on the marble, swiftly folding him up into his arms, the quick movements causing Naruto’s vision to swim.

”Hold on, kid. Not again. I’ve got you,” Jiraiya grunted, carrying Naruto to the couch. He placed him on the cushions, wrapping his hands around his bandaged wrists, trying to stop the bleeding. Naruto was still in shock; not fully processing what was happening. Jiraiya sighed deeply, exasperated, “what happened?”

Naruto could just shake his head. “I-I don’t know... I just woke up there...” he repeated, “I don’t know what happened.”

”What’s the last thing you remember?” Jiraiya took a seat on the couch, staring intently at Naruto as he tried to remember.

”I fell asleep... and I-I was having a normal dream, but... the Nine Tails was there and he... he grabbed me,” Naruto’s bottom lip quivered as he struggled not to break down, face flushing with embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry.”

”Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong,” Jiraiya stated, releasing his grab on Naruto’s arms once he was sure the bleeding had stopped. “This is just another thing we’ll have to deal with. We’ll figure it out together.”

”But I don’t want to be a ‘thing we have to deal with,’” Naruto cried, cradling his arms to his chest again. “I-I thought it was over... I thought he was sealed...”

”He is sealed. I don’t think it was really him, Naruto,” Jiraiya said softly, wrapping an arm around Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto nodded slowly; deep down he knew it couldn’t have been the Fox. Just some sort of residual trauma. This wouldn’t have been the first time he’s sleep walked either. It happened before, frequently after Sasuke left the Village. He’d find himself in the woods outside of the Village’s bounds, lost and confused. The cutting was a new issue, probably some sort of flashback from the night Jiraiya finally fixed his seal. Thankfully these cuts were much smaller; horizontal instead of vertical, and while deep they hadn’t severed any arteries, just a few minor veins. Jiraiya scrubbed a hand over his face before getting to his feet. “I’ll be right back, kiddo. Just rest for a minute,” he said as he made his way back into the bathroom. He frowned at the puddle of blood on the ground, instantly being brought back to the other night when Naruto almost died. Jiraiya tried to clean up as quickly as he could, not wanting to leave Naruto alone for too long.

As soon as he was done cleaning he threw out the soiled towels and slipped the kunai back in his pack. ”What do I do?” Naruto whispered from his spot on the couch, looking up at Jiraiya with teary eyes. He had curled into himself, looking so small and fragile among the cushions.

Jiraiya wrapped Naruto up in his arms, “I’m not sure, but we’ll figure it out, just like always. I’m not going anywhere.” He helped Naruto off the couch gently, “c’mon, let’s go back to sleep. It’s three o’clock in the morning,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes lazily. Naruto just nodded and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He followed Jiraiya back to their room and hesitantly laid down, feeling Jiraiya’s arm wrap around his waist.

When he closed his eyes all he could see was blood. Warm and slick in his hands. He shuddered, squeezing his eyes tight to try to ignore it but failing. He must have whimpered because he suddenly felt Jiraiya’s hands on him, rubbing his back, touching his cheek. “What’s wrong?” Jiraiya whispered gently into his ear and Naruto bit his bottom lip, trying to hold himself together.

”I... I don’t want to sleep,” he stated flatly. Jiraiya’s hand snaked around his waist and pulled him flat onto his back.

”Well I guess we’ll have to find a way to keep ourselves awake,” he muttered. Naruto blushed and reached up a hand, slowly tracing down Jiraiya’s lips, over his chin and to his neck. He grabbed Jiraiya’s neck and pulled him down, their lips meeting harshly. Jiraiya slid on top of Naruto’s small frame, one leg bent between his thighs. He moved up his knee so that his thigh was pressing against Naruto’s already hard cock, forcing a small moan from him. Naruto’s lips parted and he allowed Jiraiya access, his tongue taking in his taste, letting out a moan of his own at Naruto’s sweetness. Naruto grinded up against Jiraiya’s thigh, his fingers gripping Jiraiya’s shoulders as he dry humped his leg fervently. Jiraiya moved quickly, tearing off Naruto’s pants before removing his own. He took back his position above Naruto, panting at the way Naruto’s heat radiated against his upper thigh. He shifted so that their cocks were aligned, reveling in the way he fit so perfectly between Naruto’s legs.

Jiraiya bent his head down and started to kiss Naruto’s neck, so gentle and tender, sucking his soft skin into his mouth. “Mmh-“ Naruto wriggled beneath him, needing friction but being denied, Jiraiya’s hips pinning him down. Naruto reached out and grabbed Jiraiya’s waist while bending his knees up around his hips, trying to force him to start moving, do anything other than tortuously kiss his neck.

”Not so fast,” Jiraiya growled, warm breath puffing against his saliva slick neck sending a chill up Naruto’s spine. Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s wrists but instantly let go as the boy winced at the sudden pain, reminding Jiraiya of his wounds. “Shit, I’m so sorry!” Jiraiya apologized, attempting to sit up but finding himself locked in place by Naruto’s knees. Naruto wrapped his injured wrists to his chest, a sad expression on his face.

”You won’t break me, I’m not made of glass,” Naruto whispered, so quiet that Jiraiya could barely hear him. He held his arms up so Jiraiya could retake his grasp on them. Jiraiya hesitated, not wanting to hurt him, but he eventually carefully wrapped each small hand inside his own. He lifted both of Naruto’s wrists to his face, kissing his bandaged skin. Naruto felt his face flush, sniffling to try to fight away the tears threatening to fall. Jiraiya pinned both of Naruto’s wrists behind his head on top of the pillows using one hand before allowing his free fingertips to graze Naruto’s whiskered cheek.

”You’re beautiful,” Jiraiya muttered, replacing his fingertips with his lips, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his lips. Naruto bucked his hips forward, reminding Jiraiya of his task. Jiraiya chuckled, slowly rubbing their cocks together, their fluids mixing together and offering lubrication. Naruto panted as his eyes slid shut, quickening the pace as he thrusted against him, the feeling of Jiraiya’s cock pressed up to his almost enough to make him cum. “A-Ah!” Naruto moaned, leaking precome, arching his hips forward to force more pressure, rubbing against Jiraiya’s cock fervently. Jiraiya gently tapped Naruto’s lips with his finger and Naruto quickly sucked his finger in, twisting his tongue against around his fingertip, moaning at the overwhelming sensations. He sloppily sucked, teeth grazing his knuckle. Jiraiya pulled his finger away and tantalizingly lowered it between Naruto’s legs, sliding lower on the bed so he could get better leverage.

He swirled his spit slick finger around Naruto’s rim, eliciting a needy moan as Naruto arched his hips, desperate to be filled. He slowly dipped in his fingertip, working it in and out before slowly pushing his finger in to the knuckle, stunned at how tight Naruto was. He worked quickly, smirking as he hit Naruto’s prostate. “A-ah! Ffff-f-fuck,” Naruto cried, voice quivering, legs shaking. Naruto’s cock was leaking so much that it provided more lubrication for Jiraiya, making Jiraiya moan at the sight.

”So eager for me,” he praised as he slid in another finger, scissoring and bending his fingers to prepare Naruto’s entrance. Jiraiya paused for a moment to reach for something on the side of the bed, smirking as he retrieved a bottle of lube. He squirted some on his fingers before going back to his task, teasingly only hitting Naruto’s prostate every few strokes. Naruto’s hips bucked forward as he searched for friction, his cock throbbing, so close to his release. “Mmm, look at you, coming apart from just my fingers,” Jiraiya lowered his head and teasingly kissed Naruto’s thighs as his fingers kept up their steady motion. He kissed Naruto’s hips, rubbing his inner thigh with his free hand, before kissing the base of his cock.

“F-fuck, please,” Naruto begged, thrusting up into the air. “Want you in my mouth,” he moaned lewdly, suddenly sitting up and grabbing Jiraiya by the shoulders, forcing him back against the pillows. Naruto quickly slid to his knees on the bed, rubbing his hands up and down Jiraiya’s sides as he slid between his legs. Jiraiya’s breaths shook with anticipation, his hand resting in Naruto’s soft hair. Naruto straddled one of Jiraiya’s legs, making the older man grunt as he felt Naruto’s rock hard cock rub against him, slick with precome. Naruto gripped the base of Jiraiya’s erection, running his tongue slowly up the underside, making Jiraiya quiver below his grasp. He teasingly flicked his tongue over his slit, lapping up his fluids, swirling his tongue around the head before sucking it into his mouth. He bobbed his head up and down slowly, focusing his mouth on the head while his hand gripped the shaft, unsure if he’d be able to handle Jiraiya’s massive size. Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s hair and tried as hard as he could to not buck his hips into Naruto’s mouth, not wanting to choke him.

”Mmm, you’re so big,” Naruto moaned as he licked the head of Jiraiya’s cock, stroking his length with his hand. Naruto rubbed his erection against Jiraiya’s leg, hips stuttering, unable to control himself. Naruto took Jiraiya’s cock back into his mouth, his head bobbing up and down, slowly taking more and more of him into his mouth. Jiraiya gasped and squeezed his eyes closed as Naruto suddenly took down his entire length, gagging as it forced its way into his throat.

“You okay, kid?” Jiraiya asked all breathy, struggled to speak as he panted, his hand traveling from Naruto’s hair to his cheek. He craned his neck so he could check on Naruto, breath catching in his throat as he saw Naruto directly making eye contact, his cheeks flushed and lips cracked into a smirk around his cock. “Fuck,” Jiraiya choked out as his head fell back into the pillows, Naruto quickly getting back to his task, taking his entire length. As soon as Jiraiya was comfortable in the fact that Naruto could handle him he started fucking his mouth. Naruto greedily sucked him off, all sloppy and gagging whenever his cock was thrust into the back of his throat. “G-God, you’re amazing,” Jiraiya gasped as he felt himself getting close to the edge. Suddenly he gripped Naruto’s shoulder, forcing him to stop. Naruto whined, wanting to keep going, but Jiraiya chuckled, “I’m not done with you yet.”

He helped Naruto back up so his head rested on the pillows, pulling him in for a kiss, moaning as he tasted himself in Naruto’s mouth. He slid his fingers back down to Naruto’s entrance, grazing around his rim, loving the way he opened up for him so easily. “J-Jiraiya,” Naruto panted, “please.” Jiraiya’s breath hitched in his throat as the younger man breathily moaned his name, sending him into hyperdrive. He reached down with his free hand and stroked Naruto’s cock, forcing him right up to the edge before denying him his release. Naruto whimpered and wiggled his hips, his legs were shaking, cheeks flushed red, pupils totally blown. Suddenly Jiraiya pulled Naruto up, settling him in his lap as he leaned his back against the wall. Naruto instantly sprung into action, pulling Jiraiya into a sloppy heated kiss, moaning in his mouth.

Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s hip as he situated him in his lap. He broke the kiss and looked into Naruto’s glazed over eyes. “I want you to go at your own speed,” he panted as Naruto rested on his knees, hovering above Jiraiya’s cock expectantly. Just the thought that Jiraiya was finally going to fuck him made his heart skip a beat. He’d been begging Jiraiya to fuck him for days and was always rejected; he wanted it to be special, he said, wanted to make sure Naruto was really sure he wanted this. Jiraiya squeezed more lube into his hand grasping his shaft, moving his wrist in circles as he made sure to cover every inch; Naruto’s saliva was already making it slick but since Naruto was a virgin he needed to be sure. Once he was done he reached back between Naruto’s legs, spreading some lube between his cheeks, slowly dipping in two fingers to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt. “Are you ready?” Jiraiya asked gently.

“Y-yes,” Naruto tentatively started to lower himself, gasping as the head of Jiraiya’s cock pushed into his entrance. He felt an intense burning pain due to the sheer size spreading him wide but he pushed through it, his eyes tearing. He whimpered as he finally took his whole length in. Jiraiya held his waist and rocked his hips a bit.

”You okay?” Jiraiya asked him tenderly, not wanting to go too fast, determined to make his first time pleasurable. Naruto nodded, determined, as he started to glide back up, using his toes for leverage. He worked to adjust to the new sensations while trying to work up a rhythm. He panted and let his head drop into the crook of Jiraiya’s neck, warm breaths puffing across his skin, sending shivers up Jiraiya’s spine. Jiraiya gripped Naruto’s hips and helped hold him steady as he started to pick up the pace. “Fuck, so tight, so perfect,” Jiraiya praised, slowly thrusting into Naruto each time he lowered himself.

Naruto gasped as Jiraiya roughly hit his prostate, “Mmh- d-don’t stop,” he ordered, moving his hips in a circular motion as he quickly rode Jiraiya’s cock. He panted hard, his legs starting to burn from the repetitive motion. Jiraiya grabbed onto Naruto’s back before starting to move, laying Naruto out on the mattress as he positioned himself above the younger man, his cock never leaving his tight opening. Jiraiya started thrusting into him hard, forcefully hitting Naruto’s prostate on each pump, leaving him a lewd, cursing mess. “A-ah, ah, ah! G-God, ffff-f-fuck, right there!“ Naruto cried, his cock throbbing painfully, desperate for release. His nails dug into Jiraiya’s back as he plowed him, eliciting a groan from Jiraiya, the sensation sending him over the edge. Naruto was about to reach for his cock, becoming frantic from teetering at the edge for so long, but Jiraiya grabbed his arm, pinning it above his head.

”You’ll finish when I say you can,” he purred deviously, and animalistic glint in his eyes. Naruto whined as the pleasure overwhelmed him, needing some sort of release. He reached up and grabbed onto Jiraiya’s neck with his free hand, sinking his teeth down on his soft flesh before sucking on it hard. Jiraiya groaned, “ah - you’re gonna be the death of me,” he chuckled, the familiar words sending a chill up Naruto’s spine. Jiraiya reached his hand down and grabbed onto Naruto’s throbbing erection, pumping his hand in time with his thrusts.

“P-please!” Naruto begged desperately, moaning loudly just as he was about to finish, suddenly feeling Jiraiya’s tight grasp at the base of his cock, forcing him to have a dry orgasm. Naruto gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, biting his lip as his head fell back against the pillow, absolutely keening, shockwaves flashing through his body. Naruto whined at the tight coiling in the bottom of his stomach, rocking his hips against Jiraiya’s, needing more. “J-Jiraya, p-p-please,” he begged for his orgasm, tears starting to slide down his cheeks.

Jiraiya thrusted into Naruto’s tight ass a few more times before wrapping his hand around Naruto’s throbbing cock. ”Cum for me,” Jiraiya deviously growled in Naruto’s ear, stroking his length as Naruto wildly thrusted into his hand, crying out with pleasure as he was finally allowed his release. “A-AH!” Naruto whined breathily, legs quaking as an over stimulating orgasm shook him to his core. Jiraiya couldn’t help but stare down at Naruto’s face as he orgasmed, his eyebrows furrowed, all red cheeks and fuck drunk eyes. “G-God, so perfect,” he praised as he stroked Naruto through his orgasm, stripes of cum spurting onto his chest. He moaned as he felt Naruto’s entrance pulsating around his cock, pushing him over the edge. He kissed Naruto’s neck as he finished inside of him, burying himself deep in Naruto’s ass.

He collapsed upon Naruto’s chest as he panted hard, fighting to come to his senses. He took a deep breath as he pulled out, Naruto whimpering at the loss. Jiraiya pushed himself up on unsteady legs, “I’ll be right back,” he promised gently before planting a kiss on Naruto’s sweaty forehead. He staggered into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it with warm water before stopping in he kitchen to grab the juice in the fridge. Jiraiya couldn’t help but pause in the doorframe, taking in the view. Naruto laid spread out on the mattress, panting and sweaty. He was shaking lightly, skin flushed and pink, pupils blown, still too overwhelmed from sub drop to move. Jiraiya smiled lightly as he plopped back down next to Naruto, cleaning them both up before helping him get dressed. He wrapped Naruto up in the blankets to ease his shaking, cradling him in his arms, helping him through the rapid drop of endorphins after forcefully building them up for so long. “You’re beautiful,” Jiraiya soothed, petting back Naruto’s hair, kissing his whiskered cheek tenderly.

Naruto snuggled his face into Jiraiya’s neck, seeking warmth and comfort as he struggled to ground himself. Jiraiya rubbed his back for a few moments before presenting him with a glass of juice. “Here, drink this, it’ll help,” Jiraiya offered it to him, smiling as Naruto accepted it with shaky hands. He took a few sips before setting it down on the floor next to him, sighing contentedly as Jiraiya coddled him, showering him with praise and encouragement; you’re amazing, you did so well... I love you. Naruto’s eyes widened at that, momentarily stunned silent. He looked up into Jiraiya’s eyes, tearing up as he took in the tender, loving gaze he was receiving. “I-I love you, too...” he managed to choke out, flinging his arms around Jiraiya’s neck, forcing the older man down into the pillows. Jiraiya chuckled as he returned Naruto’s hug, kissing the top of his head.

“C’mon, lets get some sleep, kiddo.”

For the first time in weeks Naruto slept through the night, a small smile on his face.

((remember guys! aftercare is super important when you’re doing any edge play (or any sort of bdsm for that matter)! take care of each other ^^))

[spacecadetal]

New Blood (a Kakashi Hatake x OC fic) - Chapter Three

Warnings: Use of violence, violence, use of knives, swearing, drinking, death mention, death

Read on AO3 or below the line

Previous Chapter

The sun on Maia’s bare arms filled her with warmth as she made her way home, dawdling along.

“Hey! Hey, Maia!” Iruka chased after Maia on the streets of Konoha. Running in a sprint to catch up with her.

Turning around to see Iruka running up to her, Maia smiled. “What’s going on, Iruka?”

“I was hoping I’d bump into you. We’re having a Shinobi Night tonight, you should come!”

“Shinobi Night?” Maia questioned.

“Yeah! All the higher level shinobi and teachers go for dinner and drinks. It’s quite good fun”

“But Iruka… I’m not a shinobi…”

“That doesn’t even matter, the new guys are going too” Iruka said, “Did no one tell you?”

Maia felt a sudden pang of hurt, she wasn’t going to lie. It faded away quickly after the realisation that Maia was still yet to develop bonds or make friends with the other shinobi of the village. No wonder she hadn’t received an invite. It didn't matter, Iruka was telling her now and that counted for something.

“No… but it doesn’t matter. I’d love to come” Maia said, quickly shaking off the hurt, a smile on her face despite.

“Awesome. Come by Resutoran at eight alright?” And with that Iruka was running off in the other direction, giving Maia a wave before dedicating himself to his sprint.

__________________________________________________

Bordering on eight at night, Maia looked at herself in the mirror one last time. Smoothing out her shirt, checking all angles to see if she looked strange. She probably did.

Maia didn’t know how these Shinobi Nights’ worked. Did you come dressed up or was it casual? When she worked for her old family, the chefs would take the night off and get dressed up and go to a big village and let loose. Shooting drinks back, dancing on the street. Why did she have a feeling that this wasn’t going to be the same as that?

Just in case, she dressed herself to appear more casual with a hint of formal. A black tank with black flowing pants and her usual training boots, knives strapped to the inside of her leg. Small silver hoops gifted from her mother the day Maia left the village for good.

Maia debated whether or not she should turn up a little later. There were many advantages and disadvantages to both scenarios. She had weighed them heavily as she sat on her couch debating them in her head. Debating for so long that she had looked at the time and thought she might as well wait a few more moments when the clock turned half past eight. Maybe that way Iruka would be there when she turned up and she wouldn’t be alone.

Turning up to Resutoran was the biggest mistake Maia had ever made in her life. That’s what it had felt like in the moment anyway. The shinobi were there, so were the chunin. Iruka was there too and gave Maia a big friendly wave and a ‘over here Maia!’. None of this was the issue. The issue was that everyone was in their casual shinobi gear and she was way too overdressed. Now everyone was staring at her and she stood frozen in the doorway.

‘Just look at Iruka and move. Just keep looking at Iruka’ she thought as she began to move through the room, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with anyone else at all costs.

Sliding onto the stool next to Iruka, Maia had never wanted to walk out of a building more in her entire life.

“I feel completely overdressed” she murmured to Iruka.

“Don’t even worry about it, you're the nicest looking one out of all of us here”

That did kind of make her feel better.

“Here. This will take your mind off it” Iruka said as he slid the glass of sake in her direction.

He was right, it did, even for a second. Maia slammed it back. “Hey, Iruka...did everyone know I was coming tonight?”

“Ah…” Iruka laughed slightly nervously, “No...not really”.

In that moment, Maia really wished she knew the hand signs to send her spiraling down into the depths of earth.

Kakashi had seen Maia as soon as she walked into Resutoran, looking like a frightened possum. He was hidden in the corner booth, Gai next to him while Asuma and Kurenai sat across them both. One arm around the back of his wife’s chair and the other with a glass of the hard stuff. Kakashi watched as she approached the bar, stiff muscles and red cheeks, sitting down next to Iruka and slamming back a glass of sake. Basic body language said she was experiencing hell on earth.

He had no idea she was coming at all. No one had said anything all week, then again he had been busy. Gai dragged him along last minute with great reluctance on Kakashi’s part. It’s not that these events weren’t his thing, it was a good opportunity for team bonding, it’s just that he didn’t want to go.

“How are the kids?” Gai asked the group, always looking for a chance to praise his squad's abilities.

“Fantastic. Hinata is starting to really grow into her own” Kurenai said, nodding as she sipped from her glass.

“Ino and Choji are growing incredibly too. Really stepped it up. You should have seen how fast Choji got back to his normal weight after getting out of hospital. Oh boy, does the kid love to eat” Asuma said with pride, puffing away on his cigarette.

“Lee is doing absolutely phenomenal since his surgery, he’ll be back to shape in absolutely no time at all!”

“Kakashi? How about Naruto and Sakura?” Kurenai asked, noticing Kakashi's silence.

“Well, Jiraiya is looking after Naruto now and Sakura is being mentored by Maia Setsudan”

None of this bothered him. Having the squad part ways so Kakashi could focus on Sasuke was a good thing at the time, leaving Kakashi being able to be more attentive to the conflicted boy. That soon came to bite him in the ass. Despite that, he had no qualms about it, Naruto was in capable hands despite Jiraiya’s antics. Sakura on the other hand, he was to wait and see. Perhaps Maia could give Sakura a different type of mentoring that could help Sakura in the long run.

Maia was three drinks in already in the short amount of time she had been there. It was excessive but desperate times call for desperate measures. In this very moment, in this very restaurant, all Maia wanted to do was run back to her old family’s doorstep and beg for her old job back.

“So you have Moto on your squad right?” Iruka asked Maia, tearing a dumpling off of his stick.

“Yeah, Kira and Sakura too” Maia nodded, smiling at the mention of her squad.

Maia was proud of her squad. Sure it was early days but she knew with enough time, this squad could really grow into something strong. This was almost like a recipe that was in need of perfecting, maybe it needed a pinch of salt or a little more stock but eventually you’d get to a point of perfection.

“Oh Moto. You know he has some potential despite his reluctance to actually learn anything, good kid”

“Yeah, I’ll make a shinobi out of him yet” Maia hoped.

Throughout the night, Kakashi kept his eyes on Maia Setsudan. Watching as she drowned herself in sake and wine, finding it mildly amusing. He’d doubt she knew he was here yet or else he would have received a glare by now. She had stuck by Iruka closely at the bar and didn't dare to look around. He had tuned out the group's conversation, listening on little snippets of hers instead. Despite her distress coming into the place, the alcohol seemed to settle it an hour into her visit.

“I’m just going to the bathroom” Iruka told Maia, now she was alone at the bar.

Kakashi watched as she swiveled around, her feet tucked into the bar at the bottom of the stool innocently, oblivious to her surroundings. She took in every little detail in the room, slowly scanning each little inch until… until she finally noticed him.

He wanted to frown at the panic on her face. Why would she react like that? Did she dislike him that much? Her behaviour was just as cold and dismissive at the welcoming party.

Maia thought she was about to throw up, praying to anything listening out in the universe that she didn’t. Glancing around the room to see Kakashi gave her a fright. She hadn’t suspected him to be hiding in the corner like that. Now she felt slightly embarrassed in front of him, turning up over dressed and getting drunk enough to border on foolishness. Looking away quickly and pretending it never happened was the only way forward.

It was amazing what she could hear once it was silent. Iruka was easy to chat to and Maia sometimes couldn’t shut herself up once she got enough drinks in her.

“Look I just don’t trust her yet” Kurenai finished her drink, slamming the glass on the counter. As if she has been itching to say so.

Kakashi looked to his fellow comrade with his eyebrow raised. He trusted her opinion, after all she spoke more to Maia at the welcoming party than he had in total. Perhaps she heard something that has formed her opinion.

“Where is this coming from?” Kakashi asked, curious at the sudden outburst. “What happened to trusting Tsunade?”

“I’m just unsure about her that's all. I don’t know if she’s a capable shinobi and I don’t know if she’s going to be of help to these kids. Students come first always” she defended her stance.

The group understood her concern, they’d want to make sure their students were getting the best training possible.

“We need to talk to Tsunade about this and get some answers,” she urged the group.

“Woah, woah, woah there, Tsunade is Hokage for a reason and if she trusts her enough to bring her and every other chunin here then we need to extend that trust” Gai said, trying to get out of any confrontation in a passive manner.

Kakashi agreed with Gai for once. Hokage was Hokage for a reason, what she says, goes. If Tsunade thought this person was good enough to help the village, then she was good enough. Perhaps they were needing to extend a helping hand rather than a dismissive one.  

“I’m just don’t think Tsunade thought this through”

Oh...

Maia sat alone at the bar, her head tilted in the direction of the group in the corner of the restaurant. It was not her intention to eavesdrop but then again, if you don’t want someone to hear something you probably shouldn’t speak so loudly.

Kakashi gathered that she had probably overheard their conversation. Especially when she ordered one last glass, slamming it back before fleeing the scene. The mission of welcoming the new people was going splendidly.

Iruka had come back well after Maia had left, standing at the bar looking around to see any sign of her at any of the other tables.

“Hey, guys. Have you seen Maia?” He had asked Kakashi’s group but was met with shrugs and ‘I have no idea, sorry’ .

Maia felt as if she was a jigsaw piece that kept trying to ram herself into places she just didn’t belong and that was becoming clear. She wasn’t going to fight for her honour or in her defence. Simply she would not stay where she was not wanted.

Walking away from the bar and out of the restaurant into the streets, grateful for the cold air hitting her hot skin, for the first time in the whole night Maia finally felt like she could breathe.

Maia was upset. Of course she was, she had just wanted to be accepted by her peers. She had left her whole life behind to do this favour and now she was treated like a pariah over it. It felt completely stupid and pointless. Standing up to it by leaving felt somewhat brave, not allowing herself to hang around a group of people she wasn’t welcome around.

As she walked down the dark Konoha streets her sadness began to boil over to anger. Angry that she left a job she loved for this, angry that everyone couldn’t get over the fact that she wasn’t trained in a damn academy, angry that she was letting it all get the better of her.

As Maia made it home after fiddling with her keys in the lock, She sloppily removed her shoes as she walked up stairs, flopping onto her bed the moment she saw it. As she drifted off, all Maia could think about how she was going to prove every single one of them wrong.

[cityofblurbs]

Favorite Sakura Fics

Gaara x Sakura

Best Present Ever by paws-bells

GaaSaku. The cliched method of locking two quarrelsome lovers together in a room works after all, as Sakura and Gaara are about to discover. How could it not, when one is covered in only a towel and the other is not as apathetic as he appears to be?

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Walking Togetherby Zelha

Following the same themes as the other collections, it’s now up to Gaara to figure out how to handle an arranged marriage with a pink-haired medic that somehow, he doesn’t mind to have around, bad temper and all. His siblings are all too amused by this.

Rated: M - Chapters: 15 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Kakashi x Sakura

25 KakaSaku Moments by hikomokushi

25 drabble prompts, written using the prompts from the kakasakudrabble community on livejournal. Various themes, ratings and situations. KakashixSakura Disclaimer: Written strictly for entertainment. I do not own Naruto, nor the characters.

Rated: M - Chapters: 25 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

A Series of Firsts by leafygirl

A series of moments that happen between Sakura and Kakashi on a rotation at an ANBU camp as they discover their dynamic has changed over the years. One Shot. Mature content.

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Chidori no Jutsu by Lucibell

Kakashi Hatake had never known that coming home could feel so good. KakaSaku. Oneshot.

Rated: K+ - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Closest Thing to Family by Silberias

As Hatake Kakashi, General of the 3rd Division, looks around the battlefield after their victory he only wants to see the faces of his family. Crossposted on Ao3.

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Double Edged by nimblnymph

Seduction is like a double edged sword. You never know when you'll go from being the seducer to being the seduced. KakaSaku.

Rated: M - Chapters: 27 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Even a Blind Pig by rabid behemoth

It can be tough to keep secrets from a village full of ninjas. Particularly when Ino's on the prowl. [Set post-4th Shinobi War] [KakaSaku]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Fated by leafygirl

Sakura runs from her past as Kakashi wants to run from life. Naruto and Genma witness the painful trials their friends must go through. Kakasaku Sasusaku - Please be aware there are multiple serious main character deaths. You will probably cry. This story has angst/tragedy/romance and maybe not in that order.

Rated: M - Chapters: 23 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Fated – Alternate Ending by leafygirl

This is an alternate ending to the story "Fated". Read the original first. These three chapters are an alternative ending to the last three chapters of the original story.

Rated: T - Chapters: 3 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Feeling Youby cutecrazyice

It started with a kiss...a touch...a stroke. Now the lines are blurred, and the borders are being crossed - and nothing has ever been more delicious. KakaSaku

Rated: M - Chapters: 23 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Flaming Heart by Creidhe

An unexpected incident, sends Sakura into the past. She has a chance at saving everything, but as the wise say 'Playing with the hands of times brings you the most deadly consequences,' However, Sakura was not one to be intimidated ...

Rated: T - Chapters: 26 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Flow of Life by Ebil Chameleon

He didn't love her. He couldn't love her. He couldn't get attached. But his heart was betraying him. Building bonds that were irreversible. It was love. SasuSaku Chapter 46: Our Finale.

Rated: M - Chapters: 46 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

To Grow a Garden by Wolfy Tales

"So what do you think about having a kid with me, Sakura?" - A family focused one-shot [KakaSaku]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Heart of Patience by alifestylechoice

Kurenai grinned, a small laugh escaping. "Hatake Kakashi, in love. Who'd've thought." Kakasaku, Kakashi x Sakura

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

House Calls by Spoiled Sweet

Always the Team Mom, Sakura opens up her home as a clinic for the hospital-phobic ninja of Konoha. At the same time, her relationship with Kakashi begins to evolve in a way she never expected. M for swearing and later content.

Rated: M - Chapters: 40 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

I Found You Missing by Wolfy Tales

'They're asking us because these soldiers have absolutely no one left to write home to,' Sakura thought with a frown. So she signs up for the Shinobi Letter Exchange, not realizing how large the consequences would be. - AUish one-shot [KakaSaku]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

In Case of Blue Scroll by Leola Majora

In Case of Blue Scroll the Hokage must lock himself in his office and pull his hair out as what he thought were memories of a long lost love turn out to be the memories of a mission he was about to assign his former student, Sakura Haruno.

Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Just Try by Erika Hearken

The struggles we all face are sometimes almost too much to bear. In those times, everyone needs someone to lean on. Sakura finds that someone wasn't quite to far away after all. In fact, he's been right there all along. And he's ever ready to be that someone she can lean on. Warning: there is a character death.

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Left Behind by Trinnerti

They first stopped training with her, then slowly she was pushed out of the missions before she vanished from their lives. Now seeing her stronger than ever they couldn't stop but feeling guilty. Will their friendship blow up again or will this be the end?

Rated: T - Chapters: 28 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Life Informs Life by Silberias

When Kakashi was 5 years old his father defended him, and when Kakashi was 20 years old he defended his father. And then a fiery woman named Sakura bashed her way into his life and when Kakashi was 50 years old he was glad of it. Parallel views of a life. Crossposted to Ao3

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Packmate by Aria Illusine

Pakkun finally gets tired of Kakashi doing nothing about his attraction to Sakura, and takes matters into his own hands...er...paws. With the rest of Kakashi's summons pack to help! KakaSaku Complete

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Paths by Spoiled Sweet

No one said it would be easy to be a Hatake. One-shots centering on Sakura, Kakashi, and their offspring.

Rated: T - Chapters: 11 - Complete or Incomplete: Incomplete

Point of Grace by Shadow.of.Illusion

“Why can’t you just leave me be?” A muffled sigh answered her question, and she found her gaze suddenly riveted to Kakashi’s cloth-covered mouth. “That’s a very good question, Sakura.” KakaSaku

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Puppies and Babies by Gentlewatersoul

A holiday one shot. Happy Holidays.

Rated: K - Chapters: 1- Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Respect and Understanding by ronny-of-yore

[Complete] 24yr. old Sakura tries to join Anbu. She must seek the help of two old teammates to do so. Will she find love while in the ranks of the elite? A story on how respect can slowly change to love. Kakasaku

Rated: M - Chapters: 17 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Samadhi by Zelha

As the New Year is around the corner, our favorite kunoichi wonders what to do with a suddenly elusive lover of hers. And, of course, she has all the answers she needs ... in some well-known books. KakaSaku, of course!

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Sequential by Winter Ashby

Sometimes, the only way to understand how everything went wrong is to go back to the beginning. [Kakashi & Sakura]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Seven Flowers by bluefurcape

Love doesn’t need words.

Rated: K+ - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Sinch in Time by Blade Redwind

Six years pass. Jiraiya & Naruto left Leaf. Sasuke & Kakashi left too. Sakura's been working with Tsunade. Paths cross as the men return. And somehow the three ninja find themselves hurled twenty years in the past. Summary inside.

Rated: M - Chapters: 68 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Some Light Reading by J-Pop Princess

Sakura's curiosity gets the best of her and she finds herself reading one of Kakashi's Icha Icha books. Little does she know that reading it will result in a world of experimentation on both their parts.

Rated: M - Chapters: 6 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Something Worth fighting For by Spindelhona

Homage to Wolfy Tales I found you missing. This is my version of Kakashi Hatakes' side of the story: War's ugly. But so is Life. You have to remind yourself there's still things worth fighting for. Assuming there is. Unless they're all dead and you're practically homeless. And yet, you have to carry on. You're needed. Is that enough?

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Star of Silver, Heart of Tinby J-Pop Princess

Written for the Kaka/Saku Fairytale contest! Kakashi had never seen the pink haired nurse before that day, but the fact that she wore an eye patch just like him gave them something in common. Or at least that's what he thought.

Rated: T - Chapters: 3 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

The Window by SilverShine

Kakasaku Sakura always wanted to see Kakashi unmasked. This was a bit much though...

Rated: M - Chapters: 21 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Three Blossoms by SilverShine

[KakaSaku] Two and a half years is a long time. Time enough for a blossom tree to bloom three times. Time enough for a child to become a girl, but not enough to become an adult. Time for a heart to crack in loneliness, but not enough time for it to heal.

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Torn by Blade Redwind

Kakashi's past comes back to haunt him when he finds himself facing the prospect of sponsoring Sakura for ANBU where seduction missions are not optional, but required. Now... Complete summary inside.

Rated: M - Chapters: 24 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Unbroken by princezsupastr

When Sakura finds herself facing a rogue ninja, she never dreamed that she would end up fourteen years in the past. Trapped in a Konoha where she must hide her true identity, she runs into a familiar face, except he doesn't seem familiar at all.

Rated: M - Chapters: 26 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Welcome Home by Wonderfoal

[KakaSaku] [oneshot] Sakura is having his baby. Too bad he doesn’t know it.

Rated: K+ - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Will of Fireby Cynchick

Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past. KakaSaku

Rated: M - Chapters: 26 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Winner Takes All by Clearheart

Heartbroken for the last time, Sakura swears off all relationships. But even as she makes this vow her team-mates take notice of her exceptional skill and beauty. It's not long before there's a fierce competition for her heart. Team 7, KakaSaku.

Rated: M - Chapters: 11 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Neji x Sakura

A Last Request by Mikami

NejiSaku. Uchiha Sasuke’s death, though unforeseen, was not in vain after the final mission of his life. His last words were taken in by the most unexpected comrade, Hyuga Neji.“ Don’t let her be unhappy, Hyuga...”

Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Affaire de Coeur by Lady Silvamord

Affaire de Coeur: affair of the heart. Not here, exactly, nor anywhere too far away, instances in the lives of two very different people. Drabble series. [30: the last chapter.]

Rated: T - Chapters: 30 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Brought Together by purple-peach

At war with Sound, Neji and Sakura unexpectedly begin to discover common ground and comfort within each other. COMPLETE. NejiSaku

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Cages by Winter Ashby

Neji examines the new cage he's managed to twist his wounded soul into and the pink and green that haunt him at every turn. He wonders what she would taste like. [Neji & Sakura]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Midnight Snack by Zelha

In which Sakura has a craving, Neji is pretty much uptight, and the rest of the Hyuuga Clan is holding back their laughter at their resident tensai. AU NejiSaku crackish smut.

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Promises by Winter Ashby

Neji and Sakura return from the resque Gaara arc, but it looks like they've been hiding something. [Neji & Sakura]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Revelation by paws-bells

NejiSaku Revelations are dangerous things, as Sakura was just starting to find out. They could turn turn your peaceful life upside down and inside out, even if it wasn't your revelation in the first place. Damn Neji.

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Secrets by Winter Ashby

Rough hands and green eyes meet in the dead of night. It was a mistake she never should have let happen, but now she dreams of him and all the dark secrets he holds for her. Someday this will all end, but not tonight… [Neji & Sakura]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Silver and Emerald Days by Zelha

Silver and Emerald Days is a drabble collection by Celtic Oak and Zelha. Neji now lives with Sakura, as their partnership has escalated to another level. Companionship and brilliant love among the two genii. Various ratings.

Rated: M - Chapters: 15 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Three Days Till Home by Winter Ashby

Three days can be a very long time to get home and out of the sun, especially now that Sakura holds a precious piece of information. But, in the presence of the right person, perhaps three days isn't quite long enough… [Neji & Sakura]

Rated: K+ - Chapters: 3 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Tis the Season by Zelha

Set after Silver and Emerald Days. Neji and Sakura, a bit of Christmas loving and some major fluff for this joyful season. Smut alert.

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Sasuke x Sakura

A Full Circle by Lady Momo

Years after his desertion, Haruno Sakura realizes that she and Uchiha Sasuke never did have an ending. But on a stormy, rainy night, as she hangs on the verge of death, she realizes that they never had a beginning either.

Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

A Highly Contested Topic by Annie Sparklecakes

SasuSaku. He's not lonely, he says, Because he has her. In which Sakura desperately tries to form a bond, and Sasuke grows more and more attached by the day. He won't admit it, but the truth doesn't lie.

Rated: T - Chapters: 3 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

A Twist in Time by wolf08

With Konoha on the verge of destruction, Sakura is sent on a last-resort mission to save her world by traveling to the past. Join her in coping with her old body's shortcomings, testing the natural laws of time, falling in love all over again, and rediscovering who she is. Time-travel. SasuSaku. REAL publication date: Jan 2015

Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

An Uchiha Christmas Carol by Blade Redwind

Visited by three Ghosts in a Narutoverse version of Dicken's classic tale, Sasuke must endure a front seat view of his life, past, present and future to ultimately decide if his actions, his goals, are really worth pursuing. 4 part one-shot.

Rated: T - Chapters: 4 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Contradicted by HauntedAngel

I was nineteen. I had just passed my Jonin exam. And then I met him..."You conceited, stuck-up, selfish, pathetic excuse of a man!" Unfortunately it took four years and a war for us to fall in love. SasuSaku. EDIT: First chapter now available in Vietnamese! Check out my profile for the link.

Rated: T - Chapters: 24 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Devotion by Annie Sparklecakes

No one ever expected their story to be perfect, because they were Sasuke and Sakura, and things could never be easy for them. But still Sakura hoped, Naruto lied, and Sasuke was sorry. [SasuSaku]

Rated: T - Chapters: 4 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Flow of Life by Ebil Cahmeleon

He didn't love her. He couldn't love her. He couldn't get attached. But his heart was betraying him. Building bonds that were irreversible. It was love. SasuSaku Chapter 46: Our Finale.

Rated: M - Chapters: 46 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Incomplete by letmeannoyyoutoday

AU. Sasu/Saku. When her father told her she would have to marry a guy she knew nothing about, just because that was the best for their family, she knew she couldn't say no, just like she knew she wouldn't be happy. She just never imagined it to be that bad.

Rated: M - Chapters: 39 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Next Contestant by Annie Sparklecakes

When she was 12, Sakura was always protected by her team. Now she's older and stronger, but they're still protective. [Team Seven oneshot][Implied SasuSaku]

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Shades of Grey by Lady Hanaka

Sakura knew that Sasuke would hate her when she brought him back to Konoha, but she was willing to let him do so, as long as he came back. She hoped she could save him from his darkness...but more than that, she hoped he could save her from her own.

Rated: M - Chapters: 26 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Sleepwalking Past Hope by dezmari

"I came back." He managed to speak. "Years too late. I stopped caring, I stopped trying, and by now I just don't care. You, Sasuke Uchiha, don't mean a thing to me anymore." -R&R-

Rated: T - Chapters: 11 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Stay by SouthSideStory

Sakura begs him not to go, so Sasuke stays. And year by year he falls a little more in love with the girl he couldn't leave behind. (AU in which Sasuke never abandons Konoha.)

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

The Perfect Dream by elle6778

When the dream to reunite Team 7 ends, it is surprisingly easy to bury the pain and carry on. But how long can one pretend? SasuSaku.

Rated: T - Chapters: 4 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Two Seconds Away from Home by rawrchelle

Sasuke/Sakura. Non-massacre. You don't need to be extraordinary to have an extraordinary story.

Rated: T - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Variance by dances.with.sunflowers

Life. Sasuke is back, her team is always gone, and the hospital is a grave. Sakuracentric. Updated weekly. COMPLETE!

Rated: T - Chapters: 25 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Shikamaru x Sakura

Hero by Winter Ashbury

Shikamaru reminds Sakura of someone she's tried to forget, because he's an avenger now. But he's also different, because he turns to Sakura in a moment of weakness and she sees him for the first time for what he really is. A Hero. [Shikamaru & Sakura]

Rated: K - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Shisui x Sakura

Training Grounds ThirtySevenby KatMaxKu

Oneshot. AU. Nonmass. Haruno Sakura would have done anything to get her favorite training spot back, but she didn't realize the gravity of her determination...The outtake "The Black Hawk" is up!

Rated: M - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Itachi x Sakura

Mendoususei by Naz-G

Sakura, an S Class Jounin and medic, one of the most powerful Konoha has ever had. Her legendary Team 7 are all part of ANBU. Life's good. Only 1 problem: she's steadily falling for her stoic, gorgeous sex god of a captain. *Sigh*, mendoukusei, ne?

Rated: M - Chapters: 35 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Mango Sorbet by Itaweasel-hime

She needed someone to lean on, and he really did not know what he wanted. All he knew was that they had been brought together by a carton of mango sorbet. Non-mass AU.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

A Continuous Circle by JUCHKO

Sakura accidentally stumbles upon the Akatsuki hideout and is forced to use a scroll that was for 'last resorts only'. The scroll takes her to the past, back before the massacre. Rated T just in case. ItachiXSakura Time travel. Sequel up: And the Circle Comes Round. Sister story to Kindred Spirits.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 41 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

And the Circle Comes Round by JUCHKO

Sakura returns, only to find that the old woman was telling the truth. Now she's been captured by the Akatsuki for reasons unknown. Her heart is torn between love, hate, and the mass confusion that comes of finding out things she never wanted to be true.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 60 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Crimson Genii by Zelha

Crimson Genii is a oneshot collection that follows the same themes as Silver and Emerald Days. This time, Itachi and Sakura show how they try to cope with life, duty... and their hidden relationship. Various ratings, Non-Massacre, AU.

Rated: M  - Chapters:15 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

This is my way as a ninja by paws-bells

ItaSaku Prequel to heart strings. To protect her most precious person, Sakura would willingly give her life. Itachi wasn't about to let her die, though.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Heart Strings by paws-bells

ItaSaku. Follow up to This is my way as a ninja. When all seems lost, hope comes in the most unexpected of ways. She was never going to be free of him, and for that he was never going to let her go.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Curtain call the final act by paws-bells

ItaSaku Sequel to heart strings. They were never meant to be together. Fate was doing everything possible to tear them apart, but one thing binds them closer than never before. As long as hope never dies, life continues to blossom.

Rated: M  - Chapters: 19 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

The Chance by elle6778

Sakura discovers just how different it is to go on a mission led by Uchiha Itachi. Non-massacre AU.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

The Course of True Love by Annie Sparklecakes

It never did run smooth, and it holds true for Itachi and Sakura. But maybe they'll get their happily-ever-after... eventually. Non-massacre AU. ItaSaku. Oneshot.

Rated: T  - Chapters: 1 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

The Way of the Wind by just enough

ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way. Non-massacre. Sakura/Itachi.

Rated: M  - Chapters: 25 - Complete or Incomplete: Complete

[shikastemari]

spy - n. u.

pairing naruto uzumaki x yamanaka!reader

request

word count 4,895

when it happens after Pain destroyed the Village

warnings THE ANGSTIEST SHIT I’VE WRITTEN IN MY LIFE

a/n this is actually one of the first stories i’ve ever thought about. i wrote it months ago but just now i decided to give it a chance and post it and yeah, i gor a little carried away while writing it.

btw i’m witnessing the biggest writer’s block i’ve been through and that’s why i haven’t posted anything lately. hopefully it’ll be gone soon enough and i’ll be back to write as easily as i used to.

masterlist on my profile bio

Naruto Uzumaki.

The first time you heard his name was in one of your missions. You were spying some old guy who was owing bad people money, and you had heard Naruto's story by accident. The guy who defeated the leader of the Akatsuki all by himself, even someone as the legendary Sannin Jiraiya couldn't. During the time, you have heard a lot of girls sigh in desire for the boy, as also heard a lot of man being inspired by him - to become even stronger than people said he was.

So, when you finished your mission, it was no surprise for you someone decided to hire you to dig some dirty on Naruto. You have never accepted a mission on Konoha before, keeping your boundaries up since you know your uncle and his family still lived there, and you would never do anything to hurt your blood. But the offer was too good to decline.

Last time you have seen your uncle and cousin, you were six. Your mother was a foreign and her pregnancy had so many complications. The day you were born, she made a promise, she would take you back to her country, to become a ninja there. Your father, the brother of the Yamanaka clan leader, was madly in love with her and never said a single no at her direction. When the time came, not only he didn't fight against your mother taking you away, as he decided to leave the village himself. Uncle Inoichi helped him, knowing it was the only thing he could do to help his brother achieve happiness, but in the process, your father ended up being labeled as a rogue ninja.

The Bamboo Village was a nice place to live, and your parents were always happy there, even though you missed your old life and family deeply. You had a cousin, who also had the same age as you, so you two had grown up together and she was basically a sister to you. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing you wish you had encountered in your life, but it wasn't.

Your mother died a year after you moved country. Her disease was unknown, the doctors said they couldn't do anything but to ease her pain until the time comes. That was what you and your father did. Took care of her, stood by her side, until she was gone. To these days, you still missed her deeply. As honoring your mother wishes, you and your father didn't go back to Konoha after her death. Instead, your father taught you everything he could about the family jutsus, and it made your heart melt every time he told you how good you could become. Maybe better than him. Or even Uncle Inoichi.

He passed away five years after that, on a battle against the Land of Lightning. Even though you wanted to stay in Bamboo Village, you knew you wouldn't survive there. So that when you started to use your jutsus in espionage. You went city from city, village from village, country from country, learning from the best. The requests came right after. In your line of work, you kept your name hidden. You didn't want to drag the Yamanaka name to the mud, or even give something to your enemy to use as an advantage against you, wishing you could always keep your reminiscent family safe.

So, when your feet took you back to Konoha's, you couldn't help but feel sick. Regret and worry filled your whole body, since you counted with your family accepting you with open arms, but you knew it was a shot in the dark. Since Pain's attack which destroyed the entire village, you didn't exactly know where the Yamanaka clan was staying, so you followed your plan and walked around the village, asking if someone knew where Ino Yamanaka was.

It didn't take long, actually. Apparently, she was a recognized and respected kunoichi and you couldn't stop feeling a little jealous. What would they think about me if I have stayed? The thought flooding your head as you walked towards the place a girl told you Ino would be.

She was sitting on a pile of wood, with seven ninjas surrounding her. They were laughing and talking about how stupid what someone named Rock Lee have done to an old lady. When your eyes laid on her, you felt your heart skipping a beat. She looked exactly like before, the only thing which was different was her hair, it was so long.

A guy with the Byakugan was the first to notice you, which didn't actually surprise you at all. You have heard about what those eyes could do. Looking around them, you could see there was also a girl who could use it. This group look like they would be a pain in your ass if you didn't pay close attention at them.

"Can we help you?" A pink haired girl asked, and your eyes widened for a second. That was Sakura? No way.

As your eyes passed through their faces, you started to recognize some of them. Shikamaru was standing next to Ino, with Choji by his side. You also recognized Kiba, who you remember having an innocent crush on, because of Akamaru, which was huge now. Your heart was literally shrinking inside you by that view, already pondering the pros and cons about ignoring the mission you had been given. But you could not give up now, there was too much involved.

"Staring is creepy, have your family never taught you that?" Ino questioned, her eyes narrowed at you.

You shook your head, smiling. "You would know, Ino-nee-chan, still a bitch, I see?"

Ino's eyes popped up as she gasped, taking her hands to cover her mouth. Everyone else were just shocked by the way you talked to her, but you were sure she recognized you. Once she got up from the wood she was sitting and ran in your direction, giving you one hell of a tight hug, you felt your body relax for the first time in a long time.

"Nee-chan!" she said between the tears, it took every strength in your body not to do the same. It was still a mission, the hardest one you have been to, but still a mission. "I thought I would never see you again!"

"Wait, is that y/n-chan?" Kiba asked out loud. "Holy shit, you got hot!"

Ino and you laughed as Sakura punched the poor guy, sending him meters away from where he originally was standing. So, Sakura had a monstrous strength, just like you heard Tsunade-sama having.

"Daddy will be so happy when he sees you! Where is y/f/n-ojisan? I've missed him so bad too!" she exclaimed.

You swallowed hard, knowing too well there was no way to dodge this moment. "Mhm," you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. "My dad died when I was 12, during a battle."

"Oh," she said, the air getting heavier around you. "And why you haven't contacted us after that, y/n-nee-chan?" she asked, her tone clearly hurt. "We could have helped you."

Another question you predicted. "I tried to honor my mother's wish for as long as I could but..." you trailed off, breathing deeply to keep going. "I just wanted to be with my family again."

She hugged you again, crying her eyes out. Shikamaru came closer and pushed the girl from you.

"Ino, what a drag, let her breathe for a second," Shikamaru eyed you, from head to toe. You remember him being very - very­ - smart when you were kids. His eyes stopped on your lips, and you noticed his cheek blushing. Pressing your lips together to repress a smile, you couldn't push away the memory of you accidentally kissing him while playing one of Ino's idiot games. It was your first kiss, and probably his too. "Eh, welcome back, y/n-chan," he scratched the back of his head.

"Thank you, Shikamaru-kun," you grinned back at him as you were wrapped in someone's arms.

"Y/N-CHAN, YOU WERE DEEPLY MISSED!" Choji screamed as he hugged you, a little stronger than you wish, the air escaping from your lungs.

"Choji, I can't breat-" you said, but it seemed more like a whisper. Happily, he understood and let you go, being embarrassed.

"Sorry, I jus-" you caught him off guard wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He smiled, hugging you back, but this time, not as strong as before.

"Ino-Shika-Cho," you said, looking at the three of them once Choji put you on the ground. "I certainly missed this formation."

"So, who is this girl?" A blond guy said from behind them. His blue eyes were locked on yours and you could see a little bit of distrust there.

"This is y/n, Naruto, Ino's cousin," Sakura answered, walking towards you to embrace you. "Getting on Ino's nerves were never the same after you left."

"Well, we did know how to do it, right?" you smiled at her, but your eyes were still locked on Naruto's. There was your target, right in front of you. You kept talking and catching up with your old friends, as well getting to know the others you didn't. The boy with the Byakugan was called Neji, and the girl Hinata. Apparently, they were cousins. There was also Rock Lee, Tenten and Shino - who you slightly remember running away from when you were little because of his insects.

Ino grabbed your hand, saying you two had to go. The first part of your plan was going good so far, but you couldn't stop feeling like shit the whole time. You knew you had to shake those feelings away, or you wouldn't be able to see your uncle Inoichi. He surely wouldn't trust you at first, and would search for something suspicious as talking. Your father always said he was by far the best Yamanaka shinobi that ever existed.

Well, you were about to prove him wrong.

As expected, Inoichi didn't recognized you. Once Ino said who you were, his eyes almost popped out from his face in shook, it was a good thing for you, strong emotions were used to prejudice the jutsu. He asked you a million questions, and you were honest in all of them, because you were sure he would enter in your head soon or later. Even that he seemed happy to see you, you could see he was holding himself back to ask you to see inside your head, and not because of you, but because of Ino.

So, once she was asleep on her bedroom, you went to find him on the kitchen. You knew he would be expecting the right moment to tell you, and what moment was better than late at night?

"Go ahead," you told him.

He pressed his palm gently against your head as he began to scour your mind. You made sure the first images he was going to see was you playing with Ino as children, you leaving the village with your parents. He also saw your mom dying, how miserable your dad was but his strength and love for you keeping him on track, your trainings - but not all of them -, the days he mentioned and talked about Inoichi and Ino, the times he wanted to give up everything to come back to them but he couldn't because he wanted to honor your mother memories.

Inoichi's jutsu on your head were getting more and more weak, you could literally feel it. Even though he was a master to find others people secret, he could still be manipulated to see what you wanted him to see. You knew all it would take was one more scene and he would be done with it.

So, you showed the day your dad put on his fighting clothes, saying he would be back soon enough and went to the war. You showed him the endless hours expecting for him to come home, as you stood there alone in the dark. The times you heard a noise outside and thought it was him but it was wind or some rotten bamboo which fell on the roof, and then, the time you decided to look for him, going straight to the war field. You showed him as you found your father's body in the middle of the others endless bodies there. How you cried over him, tried what you knew about medic ninjutsu - which it was so little. You literally showed Inoichi how your heart broke that day and he couldn't take it, breaking the jutsu so he could wipe away his own tears.

You remembered something you father told you long time ago.

"Inoichi is the best in searching for information in someone's head," he said during one practice. "But growing up with a brother like that, I had to find out some tricks so I could keep some things as secret from him. I didn't want my brother to know everything about my life."

And just like that you knew, Inoichi could be the best at searching for information, but your father was the best at hiding it. Your life goal was to become even better than your father, and you completely manage to do it.

After that day, Inoichi never tried to get inside your head again, you knew it was too painful for him. So, he took you under his wing, taking care of you just like he used to when you were little. Every day was getting harder to separate your feelings from the mission, as you trained with them, eat with them and everything else. Inoichi even wanted you to become a Konoha's ninja, and he was going to ask the Hokage - who apparently was in a coma - if it was possible.

"So, I heard you are making a huge success in the Village," Ino said one day, after practice. "Naruto and Kiba are fighting to see who is going to ask you out. Today I even caught Shikamaru staring at you a little too long, which by the way, it's kind of shocking. I have seen him showing interest in one girl in my life, and if I am correct, which I am, she really likes him. So, you should stay away from him a bit."

You laughed at her. "Naruto, huh?" you asked, happy because your mission would be easier than you thought. Going out with him would help you to extract information from him without being suspicious.

"So, he is a favorite. I will make sure to tell him that," Ino said, confusing your happiness like you actually wanted to go out with Naruto because you liked him. "He is so popular with girls now, it's kind of weird. Actually, the fact he wants to go out with you is weird too, because he used to like Sakura a lot."

You were grateful you had someone as chatty as Ino as your cousin. She herself had given you tons of infos, in Naruto and the rest of their friends. She was also making everything easier for you, but every time you thought about leaving after finishing your mission, your heart broke into two. She would never forgive you after finding out what you were about to do.

The hang out with Ino's friends were a good part of your day, because it was the only part of the day you let yourself to be the teenager you were supposed to be.

This time, you all went to eat barbecue. During the whole night, you guys laughed and told stories about life, trainings and missions. Stories were by far your favorite things to hear, and those guys have tons of them. But your favorite one by far was when Naruto defeated Nagato - the real Pain. Even you, after a short time, could see how big Naruto's heart was.

At the end of the evening, everyone said goodbye. When Ino said she had to do something with Choji, things got a little suspicious.

"But Naruto will walk you until my house, right, Naruto?" Ino asked him, directly.

"But your house is really far..." He trailed off as Sakura elbowed him, realization hitting him right away.

"I suppose I could go wit-" Kiba got interrupted by a screaming Naruto.

"No way, dattebayo! I will do it, I need to lose all the calories I got from this barbecue anyway. Y/n-chan, do you mind?" His smile was genuine, and you couldn't help but to smile back.

"Not at all, Naruto. I would really appreciate it," you answered in return, making his smile even bigger - if it was possible.

It didn’t take much until you realized Naruto was someone easy to be around. He always tried to mask his insecurities with cocky jokes and wide smiles, and you found to be strangely found of him. Walking side by side, it was almost shocking that the person next to you managed to defeat someone so strong as Pain. You crossed paths with Akatsuki once in a while on your missions, and you knew better than anyone how lucky you were for being alive.

“Y/n-chan, would you like to hang out sometime?” Naruto blurted out, his cheeks tinted with a light pink.

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” You smiled at him, poking his side with your elbow.

“Yes, but I mean, like a date.” He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes focused on the road ahead.

“I would love to.” You shrugged, but inside, your heart was flipping around. The worst part was when you realized it wasn’t because your mission was finally working, but because you wanted to go out with him.

“How about tomorrow?” He questioned, as soon as you arrived at the Yamanaka’s house.

“That would be perfect. Until then.”

Things followed. The first date, the connection between you two was undeniable, but you still tried to keep your mind on the prize. You analyzed every single word that came out of his mouth, but your heart couldn’t stop but beat faster every time he would smile or say something sweet about you.

You accepted his invitation for a second date, a third, a fourth, until Naruto became a constant on your routine.  There were days where you would see him more than you would see your own cousin Ino, and you lived with the girl.

For many times, you wanted badly to let it go of this mission and just live. A normal relationship with someone you were crazy about, a nice family who loved you and supported you, loyal friends, out of the chart teachers… It was everything so tempting, but something buried inside your head didn’t make you give up completely for it, so every night, you wrote down on a parchment the new discovers from Naruto and everyone around him.

The last drop of resistance on your body melted the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You choked on the ramen you were about to swallow, staring in disbelief at the blond guy sitting across the table, his cheeks tinted by a nice shade of red.

“I know I surprised you, but it would be nice if you said something.” Naruto pointed out, scratching the back of his head, nervously.

A movie played on your head, those ones that you would figure that they passed when you were about to die. Everything you could remember since you left Konoha marked you in a way you would never recover, that for sure, but did that mean you could never find happiness? For the first time, you felt what it was like. For the first time, sorrow and hurt wasn’t the feelings that you went to the whole day through, fighting them to the back of your mind.

Naruto was there, offering everything you have ever wanted, and you had the guts to say yes.

So, you did.

His face lightened as someone had just told him he had won a whole year of free ramen. His happiness was by far the favorite thing you had witnessed in your life, along with the kiss that followed after it. For once, you forgot about your former jobs, your former past and mostly, your former pain.

During months, everything was just fine. Both of you had to deal with some difficulties on your way, but nothing that would damage your relationship. You ended up finding out about Sasuke and how badly Naruto wanted to recover him back, how deep Naruto and Sakura relationship was, strong as a brotherhood. Ino also loved to have you around, and even though you didn’t have a team, InoShikaCho didn’t hesitate to take you under their wings.

One day before the big war, you and Naruto were packing the stuff you would need to take to reunite the Alliance force. He was going through your draws, as you were going through your closet, as you heard his breathing getting faster.

“y/n, what is this?”

You turned to face your boyfriend with your old parchments on his hands. By the looks of it, he had read a couple of them, and the confusion on his face broke your heart as you didn’t know what to say.

Every single day you told yourself you should get rid of those things, but you never remembered. The guy who hired you never went after you because he didn’t even pay you, at first, so he didn’t lose anything by you not doing it.

“Naruto, I can explain.”

“So do it, because from where I’m standing, it seems like a parchment with a lot of private information of mine.” Naruto threw the paper and it ended up in front of your feet.

“You have to understand, Naruto. There were a few things I have done to survive that I am not proud of.” You took a step forward, but Naruto raised his hand as signing for you to stop.

“What you were going to do with those, y/n?” He demanded, his eyes turning red for a second before coming back to the usual blue.

“I was hired to spy on you, that was the motive that made me come back to Konoha.” The tears started to pool on the corner of your eyes. “But that was before. I didn’t give them anything about you. I couldn’t, I love you too much to do it.”

“You came to Konoha decided to betray your own family?” His tone mirrored the despise on his eyes.

“I would never do anything to hurt them.”

“But me, it was okay?”

“You don’t understand, Naruto. Spying was everything I knew before I came to Konoha. I was hurt and alone, needing money to survive. I wanted to honor my mother wishes but I couldn’t.”

“Do you really think I don’t understand the concept of being alone?” He hissed, turning his gaze away from your face. “I’ve been alone for the most part of my life, y/n. I grew up with people running away from me out of fear and you came here to tell me that I simply don’t understand? What is there to understand now?”

“That I’m crazy about you. You changed me, made me see things in a point of view I didn’t even know it was possible. You were gentle, kind and I believe you can change the whole world just by being in it, Naruto. I am sorry that I didn’t come here with the best intentions, but I am a totally different person from before.”

“I think we should take a break.”

“A break? We are going to a war tomorrow!”

“It’ll be better for both of us if we are focused on the battle ahead. We’ll talk when we are back.”

“Except that you can’t be sure that both of us are coming back alive.”

That hit him, hard. You noticed how shallow his breath became, how he had to swallow hard before opening his mouth again. “Come back alive.” He said, for last, before leaving you on the empty room.

The next few days, you had barely seen Naruto. He didn’t tell anyone about your former plans, which just made harder to explain people why you two weren’t together anymore. You ended up being designed to the same battalion as your cousin and her team. Even though you knew it was a war to protect Naruto and the bijuu inside him, every second of your day was filled with worried by him, and the constant lack of news was even worse than the nonstop fighting.

After finishing the coast, your whole group were designed to assist Naruto on his battle. Of course, you were the one running as faster as you can, so you could reach him faster. No words were needed in this case, all you want were to lay your eyes on him to make sure he was alive.

The moment your heart skipped a beat was exactly when he entered on your sight. The blond guy that you loved with all your body cells was standing there, he seemed hurt and tired, but not even as near to give up. That being the trait which you loved the most on him.

The whole battle was a long one and the adrenaline never stopped running through people’s vein, yours mostly. When Naruto decided to divide his nine tail chakra with everyone, was the first time he realized you were there. He hesitated before touching your hand, and you pressed your lips into a thin line when he jerked back to keep a whine that threatened to escape from your lips inside.

Before moving to the next person, he shot you a sad grin. “I’m glad you alive.”

As fast as he came, he disappeared on the crowd. You didn’t even have the chance to check if it was a shadow clone, just his dust from the run near you now. Despite it, it seemed you couldn’t look away. Following Naruto and paying attention to his surroundings was basically your task. So, the moment you saw one of the ten tailed monsters going straight at his direction, you didn’t think twice before jumping in between them, avoiding Naruto to get a hit on his back.

But you got the hit right below your chest, taking away all the air from your lungs.

Naruto just was fast enough to end the creature as you fell against the cold ground. You fell the warm blood spreading through all your clothes, your conscience slightly fading away.

As soon as Naruto reached you, the tears were already pooling in the corner of his eyes. “No, no, no. Stay with me, y/n. I told you not to die, damn it.” He looked around, looking for someone. “SAKURA, HELP ME.” He screamed, his voice cracking at the end.

“Naruto, it’s okay. You’re okay. That’s what matters.” You managed to say and honestly, you wanted to speak even more, but the pain running through your body was unbearable, every breath feeling like someone was stabbing you.

“SAKURA! WHERE IS SHE?” Naruto yelled at someone near, you couldn’t see who it was. “Do you know anything about medic ninjutsu? Can you help me?”

Someone bent near to your body, sobbing. “You stupid! What did you do?”

A weak smile crossed your lips, in relief. “You should be used by now, cousin. I’ll always protect those I love.”

A green chakra was leaking from her hands, pressed on your wound. But it wouldn’t work. You could feel your organs shutting down, one at time.

“Ino, talk to me.” Naruto hissed.

“I can’t, the damage, I can’t.” The blond said, crying.

“It’s okay. Both pay attention at me. Ino, thank you for everything.” You managed to say, but she cut you off.

“I just lost my father, please. Please. I can’t lose you too!” She leaned in over your body, and you had to cough a little. A warm feeling appeared running down your cheek and you weren’t sure if it was blood or tears.

“Ino.” You said a little bit stronger. “Take care of yourself, and the boys too. They need you. I love you, sister.”

“I love you!” She yelled, before Shikamaru pulled her back from your body.

A small part of you still wanted to laugh, they were still on a battlefield on a fucking war and here they were, acting like they had all the time in the world.

“Naruto.” You used the last strength on your body to look at him. “Hi baby.”

He was crying silently; his hand was holding yours so strongly and you didn’t even feel it. “Please.”

“I am sorry for not staying alive. Don’t you ever forget how much I loved you. Thank you for teaching me what love really meant.” You swallowed hard. “Take care of Ino for me, and please, stay alive.”

“I will. I love you too. I love you so much.” He hugged your body and you noticed the pain was smaller, as almost not existent. You smiled to the sky and closed your eyes, just waiting. Far from there, the sound of a someone crying harder reached your ears, and then, everything went black.

[kakashisavakening]

Chapter 9 - Love Triangle

Dark clouds were gathering above Konoha, and Tsunade sent Kakashi on a mission with some Jonins. Sakura was once more alone, since Naruto went off with Jiraiya to gain some intel on the Akatsuki. Most of them were still in the wind.

"But master Tsunade, don't you think sending Naruto after his pursuers would be a bold and - quite frankly - a dumb move?" - Sakura asked as she gathered some papers the hokage has already reviewed. 

"Don't question my decisions, Sakura." - She growled after taking a deep drink from a cup of tea. Lately she has been seen drinking way more tea than sake. But Sakura was smart enough to know what she kept in the lower drawers of her desk. There were eyes on her constantly, waiting for her to slip up, so it was understandable that she kept her alcohol consumption literally under the table. The pink haired kunoichi sighed at the unnecessarily angry response from the sannin. - "I think you need to practice some more, I haven't given you a proper beating in a while."

Tsunade's voice indicated that she was kidding, but her eyes said she was dead serious. And to a certain extent she was serious. There was still the matter of Kakashi and her - it was never discussed between Tsunade and Sakura. Heck, it was never even discussed between Kakashi and Sakura... after they were released from the hospital, Kakashi left to complete mission after mission, never letting the hokage assign him anything shorter than a 3 week job. Tunade never wanted to pry, but she felt responsible for pushing her into the arms of the copy-ninja. Sakura waited patiently, for she let herself believe at every single occasion that after the current mission he would come and talk to her. 

But it has been literal hell for her. She would wake up in agony sometimes, feeling a kunai cut into her sides, or flames burn her skin... but eventually realise that it was not her experiencing these injuries, but her other half - Kakashi. 

On the other side, she has stopped telling the details to Ino after a couple months, since all she said was that she should tell Tsunade about these side effects and that she should talk to Kakashi about it as well.... which was pretty obvious, and she knew it was logical, but she still couldn't bring herself to do that. Why? 

Because Tsunade had warned her before all this began that going in for Kakashi came with great risks and that the jutsu, which she planned to use was not fully ready. She had also told them to let it burn out. Maybe that is what Kakashi was doing. Waiting for all this to disappear.  However she felt as if the bond was getting stronger. She would sometimes feel more than the extreme pain of being injured. She would sometimes feel hungry after just finishing a meal or feel sadness out of the blue.  The other reason was that she had walked by Kakashi's place on purpose so many times in hopes of running into the sensei that now she could not even bring herself to go near the neighbourhood anymore. The locals started to notice her, a lady in the small convenience store knew her by name and since she always pretended she was there to help someone, most people knew her for helping out wherever there was work to be done. It gained her a very positive reputation, but she was sure if the sensei wanted to notice her, he would have had plenty of opportunities. He never did, and because of that, she started going less and less until she gave up hope entirely. 

I wish I would know why men tend to avoid me like this... even the sensei... Her thought trailed back to their one night stand - if it can be called as such. Physically, they only almost kissed. Mentally, they knew every inch of each other. She looked at the corner where she would take a left turn to walk to Kakashi's neighbourhood... and instead, she took the right. Going into a small bar, she ordered a bottle of sake with the clear intention of drinking away her sorrow and moving on from all and every heartbreak she has ever had to experience. But as soon as she poured her first cup, a figure slipped into the booth with her.

"I wouldn't advise you to do that." - Shikamaru said as he lit a cigarette. Ever since Asuma's death, he'd been smoking nonstop. Understandably so. 

"I won't lecture you on the health risks of smoking, and you won't bug me for day-drinking... How does that sound, Nara?" - She said after throwing her first drink back. 

"Like a deal, Haruno... Like a deal." - Shikamaru sighed and waved at the waitress to bring him a cup too. He poured them both the next round and drank his before Sakura could object. 

"So what is the deal with you, why are you here?" - She inquired. Her pony tailed friend just shrugged his shoulders.

"You could say, life's being a drag." - He said, quickly drinking another round, catching up to her. 

"Oh, I can relate." - She sighed.

After four bottles of sake, they were both extremely intoxicated. She had told Shikamaru everything about how she was connected with Kakashi and how they had a moment but months had since passed them by. He told her about how Ino got weird after he told her about his relationship with Temari.

“She was super supportive at first, always helping me figure out what that damned woman wated or meant... then when I asked for advice on what is the right time to suggest some more... intimate relations, she just dropped me like I was just some annoying dude she had to put up with.” - Shikamaru sighed - “She even said that she was only hanging out with me because the history of our families... because it was mandatory. A day or so after that she started sleeping with Genma. She seems happy, so I am sure he treats her right, but it’s... it’s GENMA for fuck’s sake. That man is a pain in the butt when it comes to women. Leaving the rest of the team the pick up the pieces when he is done with her.”

Sakura chuckled a bit. - “Ino can be harsh when she feels vulnerable.. and she does stupid things to hide her pain.” - she waved at the waitress and ordered a glass of water. She was sure this topic required a bit more attention than her drunk brain could manage.

“Pain?” - Shikamaru scoffed - “What about the pain she inflicts on the rest of us?”

“Nara, you are the smartest man in Konoha. Hell, maybe the smartest ninja alive right now... yet you still manage to be dumb when it comes to women.” - Sakura chugged her water and poured another glass from the pitcher the waitress (very considerately) brought instead of one single glass.

Shikamaru looked confused for a second then burried his face in his hands - “Please don’t tell me Ino...” - he started massaging his temples - “No, that cannot be. You are just messing with me.”

“I am her best friend. I know Ino like the back of my hand..” - she said and reached across the table to put her hand on his shoulders - “She might have acted like she never cared for you like that, because she felt like she had to go for the coolest man possible.. but it is not news.” - Sakura shrugged her shoulders. Ino has never told her she liked Shikamaru per se, but she did told her things that made it clear as day. The blonde admired his wit and strenght openly, looked up to him and complained about Temari to Sakura nonstop. She had even went as far as to say that the sand ninja is not worthy of her teammate’s attention - let alone his love. Obviously, ‘I love Shikamaru Nara’ never left her lips... it was possible even she didn’t know how obvious it was.

“It is news.” - Shikamaru growled. He was trying to make sense of it all. They have known each other since they were born. Their families were so intertwined they might as well be in the same clan. He has been around Ino through thick and thin, saw her at her lowest and they helped each other through more than one difficult situation. It would be a lie to say he has never once looked at her and thought about her in a different way than a friend or a comrade. She was extremely beautiful - that was undeniable, but he found her hunger for attention and twisted image of beauty repulsive. He had brought Ino home after countless times after she had a couple more drinks than she should have and he recalled that each and every time Ino tried to get him to bring her to his apartment rather than hers, but he thought it was because of her father being a drag when she was drunk. She did flirt with him openly when she wanted something, but again, she WANTED something. It was her way of GETTING what she wanted from every member of the opposite sex.

Sakura watched with amusement as a storm of emotions stormed across the poor man’s face. Sure enough, Ino was a piece of work, and Shikamaru has always voiced his frustration with complicated women.

“But, if she wanted to get with me, what is the deal with her and Genma?” - He asked and poured himself another glass of sake. He was not going to stop just because his drinking buddy has. - “She should have known I won’t ever go for her like that. Genma is not just my elder and my superior. He is a friend.”

“Rebound.” - she said without looking up. He has realized that she has been playing with her fingers. The topic made her uncomfortable for some reason. Even she couldn’t explain why. - “Look, Ino is my best friend. I shouldn’t even tell any of this to you. She would squash me like a bug if she knew we talked about this. But I want her to be happy, and I guess I wanted you to see the whole picture. I’m sure you love Temari. You two have had chemistry since day one. But I would much rather see her with you than anyone else.”

“That’s not fair.” - Shikamaru said and lit another cigarette. - “Temari and I have had some sort of connection, sure. And dating her has been not awful either. But you know I would give anything up for my team.” - he blew out the smoke. That was true, he would have given up his life to protect Ino and Choji. But this was different. He was not obligated to chose. He could just go on and be with Temari, Ino would find a man easily. She would still live happily ever after. But blaming Sakura was easier. What he really blamed her for was giving him ideas rather than telling him the truth.

“Life’s not fair, Nara.” - She finished her drink, but despite her words, she did feel a bit guilty. It was not fair steering Shikamaru towards Ino when she was occupied with Genma. But her friend chose the biggest playboy in the village for a reason.

“So what about Kakashi?” - Shikamaru tried to turn the topic around.

“What about Kakashi?” - echoed a man standing by their table. He appeared there without them noticing. Kakashi. In the flesh. He wore baggy dark blue cargo pants and military boots and a sleeveless slik top that was in one with his mask. The top was thin and figure fitting. Every muscle visible underneath. Sakura felt her throat tighten as her eyes met his. She waited for so long. She longed for him to come to talk to her since he left. Now he was here, and she just wanted to run.

[myaekingheart]

78. A Farewell Fight

               A bittersweet smile touched Kakashi’s face as he looked upon the photo of him and his students from the day they made genin. It had only been a year since these kids entered his life, and yet so much had happened in such a short span of time. Sasuke had deflected from the village hellbent on revenge, Sakura was studying under Lady Tsunade to become a medic ninja, and in just two weeks Naruto would leave on a two and a half year training endeavor with Master Jiraiya. Kakashi never expected to have grown so attached to these kids, nor would he ever really admit it, but in a way he almost felt useless to them now. What more could he possibly give them that their new mentors couldn’t? He assumed this was the same feeling that parents had upon sending their children off to college or to live on their own or get married. There was only one thing left that he could manage and that was to give them a proper sendoff. According to the clock at his bedside, he had thirty minutes left. He zipped up his vest, fastened his headband, strapped on his shoes, and then disappeared. He would meet his students at the training ground soon, but there was one more thing that needed to be done.  

               Leaning in her dooway, Kakashi’s yearning was almost palpable. Had it not been a platonic yearning, the nature of the situation would’ve likely sent Rei into an internal breakdown. The more guarded she was, however, the more desperate Kakashi seemed to become. They weren’t her students and she was no longer his girlfriend. Logically there was really no point to this. But of course Kakashi refused to budge.

               “This is probably the last time I’ll be able to spend time with them before Naruto leaves” he explained. “I just want this to go well but I feel like at the current rate, I’m just not qualified.”

               “What do you mean not qualified?” Rei asked skeptically. This was blasphemous, he had to be embellishing. To think, Kakashi Hatake the Copy Ninja, sharingan user who copied over 1,000 jutsu, under-qualified.

               “Since Sakura started training with Lady Tsunade” he explained, “Her chakra infusing abilities are far surpassing my own. You, on the other hand…”

               “Oh, no! Don’t you start that!” Rei exclaimed, recoiling in defense. “I know exactly where you’re going with this! That flattery jutsu isn’t going to work on me!”

               Kakashi sighed and shook his head. “Alright” he admitted. “You’ve got me. I suppose I can’t fool you.” A proud grin flashed on Rei’s lips then as Kakashi turned on his heels to depart. As he did so, he peered at her over his shoulder, a twinkle in his eye, and added, “It really is a shame, though. I’m sure they’re going to be very disappointed to know you’re not coming. They seem to like you a lot, Rei. It would be a shame to let them down like this.” Dammit.

               Naruto fell back into the grass with a groan, staring up at the clouds overhead. “Why does Kakashi-sensei always have to be so late? I don’t have time for this!”

               Sakura rolled her eyes as she surveyed the area. She was admittedly disappointed but not surprised. “And what are you in such a hurry for?” she asked. “Are you really that desperate to get away from us all?”  She was truly happy for Naruto, receiving a once-in-a-lifetime chance like this, but a part of her also couldn’t help but feel slightly bitter and even betrayed. First Sasuke, now this. It was like everyone she cared about was leaving her. She couldn’t believe she was admitting to herself that she actually cared about Naruto in the first place.

               “I just have a lot of packing to do, okay?!” Naruto exclaimed defensively.

               “Let me guess” Sakura replied, “You haven’t even started.”

               Naruto pouted sheepishly, muttering something inaudible under his breath, then looked around again for any sign of Kakashi. “I give him five more minutes and then I’m walking!” he exclaimed. Sakura nodded in agreement. She had cleared her whole day for this, she was going to flip if it turned out to be a waste. To think, she could be back at the hospital perfecting her medical ninjutsu right now. The minute she thought that, however, she was overcome with remorse. Their little team was falling apart and deep down, she wanted to salvage whatever time they still had left together. Perhaps Kakash’s tardiness bothered her more because it challenged her perception of the day’s potential, this last hurrah, more than anything else. Either way, she gazed out across the training grounds and hoped their sensei would show up soon.

               And sure enough, right before his five minutes were up, Sakura and Naruto caught sight of Kakashi approaching. He smiled and waved at them, announcing, “Hey guys! Sorry I’m late. I had some errands that needed my immediate attention.” Naruto and Sakura looked at each other tiredly. It was always the same pool of excuses. This time, however, was different. Before they could rebuke, out from behind Kakashi popped none other than Rei.

               “What is she doing here?” Naruto asked in disbelief.

               Rei narrowed her eyes and pouted. “What? Do you not want me here? If you want me to go, then I’ll go.”

               “No, no, that’s not what we meant!” Sakura chimed in. “We just didn’t expect to see you, that’s all.”

               “Oh, really?” Rei asked, smirking at Kakashi with arms crossed. “And here I thought you said they were expecting me.”

               Kakashi chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes surprises can be good things” he replied.

               “Yeah, okay” Rei muttered under her breath. She really didn’t need to be here. She had plenty of other things she could be doing, like sleeping in or standing in front of the fridge eating chalky, expired chocolates in her underwear. If they didn’t want her here, then there was no reason for her to stay.

               She was about to turn on her heels and walk off when Sakura lurched forward, gripping her wrist, with a revelationary exclamation. “Wait a minute!” she shouted, and everyone froze, their curiosity piquing. “If you’re here with Kakashi-sensei, then does that mean you two are back together?!”

               Rei and Kakashi’s faces immediately went bright red, their entire bodies paralyzed. Rei cursed herself for waving off the possibility, whereas Kakashi was simply surprised that the topic arose so soon. If anything, he had expected (or maybe it was more that he hoped) his students would have questioned things in a much subtler way, the kind that would allow for him and Rei to perhaps have a private conversation about this later on. Now, the misunderstanding was so abrupt and blatant, there was no delicacy possible in it’s handling.

               After a few beats of silence, Kakashi cleared his throat and replied, “Not exactly, but that’s really not the main point of—”

               “So you’re not back together?” Naruto interrupted. And after all that hard work they put into sabotaging Rei’s blind date. How stupid were these two, anyway? They clearly still liked each other. Naruto may have had zero experience with relationships but even he could see that.

               Kakashi swung around and placed a hand on both of his student’s heads then, chuckling as he replied, “I don’t really think this is all that important right now! Besides, we came here to train and we wouldn’t want to waste our time, would we?” It was clear to Rei, at least, that he was trying his hardest to diffuse the situation before he lost his cool and shoved his fingers up both of their asses. He was not about to ruin their last training session together like this, nor was he going to let them ruin it for themselves.

               “So what exactly are we supposed to do?” Naruto asked, scratching his head.

               “The objective is simple, really” Kakashi replied. “You and Sakura are going to team up against Rei and myself. I want you both to come at us with the full intent to kill us. If you can knock us both down for at least ten seconds, you win the round. If you can’t, well…let’s just say your trip with Master Jiraiya might not be worth your time.” It was here that he turned and looked directly at Naruto, a condescending smile on his masked face. The young jinchuriki frowned at the insinuation, then reared up for battle.

               Round one went about as well as could be expected. Naruto and Sakura’s teamwork was still slightly unstable but they had made great progress. They had learned over the past few months to better interpret one another’s cues and predict their next movement. Naruto had grown stronger and Sakura more precise. Despite making great strides, though, the fight was far from easy.

               The difficult thing about fighting Rei was that Naruto and Sakura didn’t know her well enough to know her fighting style, her strengths, and her weaknesses. She was clever and stealthy, she could disappear in the blink of an eye, and she always knew wherever they were hiding. While she was a formidable opponent, there was, however, one thing that Naruto and Sakura knew they could use against her and the thought of it filled them both with so much bubbly energy, they could hardly contain themselves.

               Rei sunk into the grass chugging bottled water and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Kakashi had given them all a five minute respite before starting round two, and Rei was surprised to find she actually needed it. She watched Naruto and Sakura huddle up laughing and couldn’t help but smile. They weren’t even her students, but deep down Rei was proud. She could see the progress they had made and she knew it was thanks in part to Kakashi. She glanced at him as he crouched beside her with book propped open and for a moment, she naively thought he had not noticed. When he momentarily met her gaze, her entire body electrified.

               “Alright you two!” Kakashi called, setting his book aside. “Are you ready?” Naruto and Sakura immediately straightened up, suppressing laughter, as if they were kids nearly caught stealing from the cookie jar. And then they were off.

               Their movements were erratic and strange—they had definitely changed their tactics and quite frankly, it made Rei suspicious. They were usually sloppy and second-rate but now they flitted here and there with a grinning, carbonated purpose. As a result, Rei and Kakashi were especially cautious and guarded. They would have to be careful and look out for whatever unpredictable attack they faced next. The four of them went on like this for a while until eventually, somehow Rei and Kakashi had fallen into a particular rhythm. They raced across the battlefield like dancers performing pre-rehearsed choreography, their students shrinking the radius further and further. By the time the two of them realized what was happening, they were powerless to stop it.

               It was rather simple, really. A game of cat and mouse; lead the predator right into your trap. If executed well, it was foolproof. And now here they were, Kakashi racing toward Naruto while Sakura was summoning Rei all toward the epicenter of the battlefield. Right when they were close enough, Naruto grabbed Sakura’s wrist and together they bolted out of the fray. With their targets removed, Kakashi and Rei were barreling toward one another at full speed, guaranteed to collide. Rei’s heart pounded, the world suddenly shifting into slow motion, as she watched Kakashi inch nearer and nearer until finally their bodies connected with the ground. They tumbled through the dirt, tangled limbs and hot breath on exposed skin, until Kakashi’s entire body weight was firmly on top of her. Rei’s chest tightened and her hands went numb. With their foreheads nearly pressed together, she was completely incapable of breaking his gaze. For a fleeting moment, nothing else existed in the world but them.

               Naruto punched Sakura on the shoulder, giddy, and whispered, “I think it’s working!”

               Sakura nodded vigorously. “There’s no way they won’t get back together now! Look at the way they’re looking at each other!”

               She made a valid point—even from that distance, the passion in their gaze was unmistakable. Rei and Kakashi stayed there atop one another for a long, silent moment, paralyzed. She could feel her lips twitch and tingle, hungry to lean in and kiss him, but the desire only made her angry. Now was not the time for this. Not here. Not in this moment.

               Kakashi smiled sheepishly as he then lifted himself off of her, apologizing as he extended a hand to help her to her feet. She accepted then smoothed out her hair and brushed the dirt off her clothes. A strange anxiety was coursing through her body, leaving her uncharacteristically self-conscious as if she was twenty again and newly loved. The presence of this was, to say the least, jarring. How long had it been since she felt this way? Why did she really give up this feeling in the first place? She already knew why, but in the moment there seemed to be no valid explanation behind the act. She felt high, transcendant even. She felt in her a pulsating energy she had so long took for granted and since denied herself. This was a dangerous game she was playing. If she wasn’t careful, she would fall right back into that abyss.

               The moment Kakashi turned to his students across the field, he knew something was up. They straightened their backs, eyes wide, and shushed one another through restrained laughter. Kakashi strode forward and looked at them sharply. “Alright, you two, what’s so funny?” he asked.

               “Nothing, sensei!” Sakura replied, but her voice was high-pitched and shaky.

               Kakashi cocked a brow, unconvinced.

               “We were just thinking how it was kind of funny the way you and Rei fell on top of each other like that, you know?” Naruto chimed in. Sakura fed him a sharp side-glare, as if to say you really do suck at lying. Because of course that gave Kakashi all the confirmation he needed to know exactly what was going on.

               Sighing, he asked tiredly, “Didn’t I tell you before to stop meddling in other people’s love lives?”

               Rei approached the moment the question was posed, and even the mere utterance of love sent her heart haywire. She bit down on the inside of her cheek as a distraction, glancing from Naruto to Sakura and back in hopes of finding anything in their faces that might make her feel even mildly reassured. She was unfortunately defeated when she found none.

               The sun was just beginning to set when the four of them began the trek home. Their limbs were sore and their faces dewy with sweat, but Naruto and Sakura were still laughing and running rampant in the shifting streets. “Hey Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto then called, turning on his heel and walking backwards to face him. “We should go to Ichiraku Ramen! One last time before I leave!” Sakura nodded in agreement.

               As tempting as it was to say no for the sake of his wallet, Kakashi knew he couldn’t deny him. At least not this time. “Alright, Naruto” he sighed. “We can get some ramen.”

               Naruto plastered a cheerful grin on his face before exclaiming, “All four of us, right?”

               Rei paused, a rejection rising in her throat. Naruto looked at her expectantly, like a puppy begging for another treat, then Sakura followed suit, and then finally Kakashi. His expression was gentle but coaxing, hopeful. “Would you like to join us?” he asked, and his smooth voice only heightened her panic.

               It took her perhaps a few seconds too long to finally answer. “I, uh, I actually…I mean, I’d love to, don’t get me wrong, I just…I’m kind of tired, and my stomach is acting weird, so I think I might just…you know, head home. Try to get some rest.” God, I sound pathetic.

               “Okay” Kakashi replied, smiling, but she could tell he was disappointed. How did she get into this mess? Perhaps she could rescind her denial, say nevermind, I take it back, I will come along but it was too late now. She had already given a string of reasons justifying her departure. A slimy, uncomfortable feeling settled into her stomach as she bid them goodbye and turned around.

               Her apartment was dark and colder than usual when she returned. She shut the door quietly behind her, locked it, and then pressed her back against it with a sigh, fully prepared to let the loneliness consume her. Shut away, she was given perfect audience with her thoughts and fuck, were they loud. An overwhelming fear enveloped her, a nagging stream of questions and doubts. She suddenly felt as if her entire life was a checkbook register where somewhere she had fudged the math and was now pummeling through page after page of consequential miscalculations. All her life, all she had ever wanted was Kakashi’s love, attention, and approval. Now he was readily giving it to her in spades and yet she had backed away. She eyed the photo on her desk of her and her team in their youth, her heart breaking at the sight of Naru. That was what all of this really came down to: the loss of Naru. She would know what to do about this. She would make things right. She would sit cross-legged on the edge of Rei’s bed, starlight in her eyes, and tell her exactly what she needed to hear, but she would cover it in sprinkles and a large dollop of pink frosting. But if Naru were still here, none of the rest of this would be happening. Her and Kakashi never would’ve broken up, and she would never have had to feel the debilitating guilt and nausea of leading her best friend to death. She didn’t deserve to be happy. She didn’t deserve Kakashi’s love. She deserved nothing but pain and loneliness and suffering. Her line of sight drifted toward the kanzashi on her desk and for a moment, she considered—

               No. She squeezed her forearms in each opposite hand, arms crossed about her chest, and fell back onto the bed with an animalistic groan. Not tonight. She couldn’t afford the aftermath. She stared up at the ceiling, counting the seams between each slat of wood, and started to cry. She may have deserved to be alone, but it was another matter entirely of whether or not she wanted to be. Her body still ached from Kakashi’s proximity when he fell on top of her, the way that in that moment, for once everything seemed okay. For once the relentless thoughts of death and deserving were silenced and all that mattered was just him and her. Rei wrapped her arms tight around her stomach then, curling up into a fetal position, and gazed out at village skyline stretched out before her. Somewhere out there, there were answers. Somewhere out there, there was peace. Somewhere out there, there was bound to be a version of herself who knew what she wanted and never questioned whether she was worth it, a world in which nothing else mattered but her and him and in which everything was finally okay.