#then Inigo

[monster--mama]

In the Middle of the Night, in the Middle of the Woods

  The three of them make their way out of the tavern and into the warm, humid night in silence as they head towards Ravenna and Kaidan's bounty. Lucien stays quiet for about three miles before he starts asking questions.

"By the way, what are your names?"

"Ravenna."

"Kaidan."

"Ah, Kaidan. That's an unusual name. Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?" He asks.

"I wish I knew," says Kaidan, "But I'm trying to find out."

"Ah, wonderful. And where, exactly, are we going at the moment?"

"For a drink," Ravenna returns, glancing back at him and letting her ruby eyes show. The implication is enough to silence him for the rest of the journey.

                                                            ~~~

"Eugh. I don't think I'll ever get used to that," Lucien says as he watches Ravenna pulls her teeth out of the exsanguinated corpse.

"Ditto," she says.

"Well, what next? Do you two have a plan?" he asks as Kaidan returns from dealing with the other bandit upstairs. "Riften," he tells Lucien, "We discussed it earlier. The Thieves' Guild, if they're still around, will be a good option to help make sure our tracks are covered."

"I still want to check out the Evergreen Grove before we leave the area," Ravenna adds, "Just remember not to pick the flowers there, lest we agitate the Spriggans."

"Are you sure that's wise? We're running out of moonlight," Lucien points out.

"Won't take but a moment. I just want to look at the alchemist," she says.

"Wasn't he in the middle of the pool?" Kaidan points out.

"Yes, but I can walk on water," she explains.

"How though?" Lucien asks.

"Rare vampiric blessing," Ravenna shrugs. So they go and let her look at the alchemist, and while she doesn't find anything interesting on him, something interesting does find them. As Kaidan and Lucien (especially Lucien) stand stock-still among the wandering Spriggans, a new, feminine voice cheerfully greets them.

"Hello! Are you three lost?"

All eyes turn to the speaker, a small and round-faced Bosmer woman with vibrant orange auburn hair.

"Uhh … No," Ravenna replies as she walks back across the pool towards her companions, entirely forgetting that walking on the surface of the water isn't extraordinarily normal behavior, "We're just exploring off the beaten path a bit."

"Ooh! Are you adventurers?" The Bosmer asks.

"No."

"Not exactly-"

"Yes!"

Ravenna and Kaidan both shoot Lucien annoyed looks for that, but the Bosmer just giggles.

"Do you folks know Skyrim very well?" the Bosmer asks. Lucien shrugs and Kaidan shakes his head, but Ravenna affirms.

"Like the back of my hand, actually. I grew up here," she says.

"Is that so? I don't suppose your group has room for one more?" The Bosmer questions, "I could use someone to show me around this cold, unfamiliar place. I'm a good archer too, so I could help watch your backs in return. What do you say?"

"Weeeeeell..."

"Um, see-"

"About that," the three of them all start at once.

"Is there some sort of problem?" The Bosmer asks, "I can find others to travel with, if so."

"That might be for the best, Miss -" Ravenna begins.

"Auri," The bosmer supplies.

"Auri. Sorry but we are on a fairly particular schedule right now I'm afraid. I'd hate to inconvenience you," she finishes, but Auri just quirks one copper-orange brow at Ravenna.

"You mean wandering around in the woods after midnight?" Auri points out coyly.

"Er, yes?" Ravenna tries.

"But you're not doing anything suspicious. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the woods, right next to a corpse adrift in the pond?" Auri asks with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Lucien and Kaidan pale at this. Ravenna might be paling too, but she can't get any lighter than her regular skin tone. Auri blinks her large brown eyes at the trio like the cat that got the canary.

"Oh, just come on," Lucien relents when Ravenna and Kaidan have run out of evasive replies

"Wonderful!" their apparent new ally declares all too cheerfully.

"We have got to stop getting in situations like this," Ravenna suggests.

"Agreed," Lucien and Kaidan declare unanimously.

[tossawary]

This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

[lackadaisycal-art]

I fell victim to one of the classic blunders (drawing a load of fan art when I should have been working)

[pigeon-princess]

This is true love. You think this happens every day?

[sleepy-bebby]

[petricorah]

i wanted to redraw the princess bride scene but it felt ooc for zuko. think i fixed it [id in alt]

[sophsun1]

The Princess Bride (1987)

[so-very-small]

genie: so, you have three wishes-

me: i want everyone in the world to be able to size shift between two inches tall and fifteen feet tall, at will, in a totally safe manner, EXCEPT for my ex and anyone within a 100 meter radius of them. everyone they see or meet will be the exact same height as them.

genie: that’s…. specific.

me: they’re into size. imagine knowing g/t is now real and exists, and you will NEVER get to experience it firsthand. i cannot think of a worse fate for any size fan.

genie: ….y’know what, fuck yeah. let’s do this

me: YAY. so for my second wish, i’m thinking bigass sword

genie: NICE

[strongerpotions]

average transmasc friend group

[ssavaart]

Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoya.

You killed my father.

Prepare to die!

A little portrait of Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride I did back in 2014

Done on 6x6 inch Aquabord with Winsor & Newton Gouache Paints

Sending Big Hugs from the Hobbit Hole. ♥♥♥

Scott

[justawanderingfan]

Screw canon they’re all bisexual (to me)

[spinchling]

The two most romantic lines in cinema history are "As you wish" from the Princess Bride and "I can fix that" from Holes.

[lackadaisycal-art]

as you wish

[cool-frog-hours]

Princess Bride comic for class - sorry for reposting, this is the post-crit fixes version

[frownyalfred]

People who never really processed the death of their parent(s) and have thus made it everyone else’s problem:

Bruce Wayne

Boba Fett

Inigo Montoya

[lurrlonde]

inigo!