#then I met with one of my students about a fandom related project and we discussed how she would cast Rebecca if it were a 1D fanfic

[rott1ngbra1n]

Sorry for being sudo inactive!! I’ve been on a trip, where I got to see Sweeney Todd on Broadway!! Genuinely such a good show. If I went on about how amazing it was, we’d be here all day

But on the note of me being gone for a bit, ya boi has been crafting! Along with some more ramblings as usual-

More art below the cut (under my ramble-)

The chapter one outline of the Alley Cat AU has been completed! Now it’s on to drawing some panels out and finalizing the draft! Of course I will probably post more concept work before then, as some details still need to be worked out. But we are making headway!

I’m going to also work on making a masterpost here soon, so that way everything is in one neat spot. But the story will be hosted here! Here’s some more smaller concept work to tide you guys over until the next post! I obviously want to finish a couple chapters but I’ve also started work on a chapter explaining how Morro met his cat! Originally the cat was unnamed but I think Wisp works well for them, I will try to finish the reference sheets for all of the characters before I post any chapters.

I’m also going to finish up my work on chapter one, before posting any of it. So that way the wait between isn’t as awful (fun fact that’s been my New Year’s resolution- to try and post more-) but please be patient with me, I’ve never really worked on a project this big before and I am a full time college student with a job. So I will do my best!

I want to let you guys know as well, the ninja and their dynamic with Lloyd will stay pretty similar to that of the show. With them obviously being suspicious of Lloyd and his “cat”, but because they find him and Lloyd doesn’t try to do anything regarding the Serpentine (because Morro shook some sense into him-) there’s no residual “you unleashed the snakes on us-“ vibes. Instead right off the bat Kai takes one look at Lloyd and says “You are now my little brother. You cannot deny this.”, adding more fluff.

That also means we have to find another person who unleashes the serpentine. Because plot reasons and all that jazz, I’m working on it but I think it would be funny if Jay did it by accident or one of the other darkly boys did it. I’ll toy with both ideas and some other ones before I settle on it, I have time. I hope.

I’ve got some other things I’m cooking up, some Ninjago related, others pertaining to other fandoms I’m in.

Aside from that, I also have a Redbubble! There’s some stuff in there I’m reworking, so a minder and apology for that, but I’m going to try to get some more Ninjago works posted up there. Along with some original works! Here’s the link if you’d like to check it out!

I also have a KoFi that I am also redoing and working on! If you’d like to commission me, that would be the spot! I’m still trying to figure it out so if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask! KoFi link here!

I really appreciate all of your kind words and reblog tags (I do see them, they make me laugh and smile), it means a lot and I hope you all enjoy what else I’ve got in the oven!! Thank you so much!!

[wellofhavoc]

i'll never understand people who say tumblr posts about teens who wrote essays on ships and fandoms are fake posts automatically because i can assure you that autistic hyperfixation combined with plucky-teen ingenuity can create many excuses to write about fandom related topics in class

examples below

ALL of my creative writing projects i ever did were "secretly" fanfiction- all of them, i think maybe one wasn't but even that, i'm sure was a reskin of some anime characters i can't remember now. my main muses were star trek characters.

there was one english teacher who actually encouraged open topic papers on things relating to the subject in any way you want (she gave the example of cookies being at a party in one scene so a student a previous year had written a paper on cookies and the history of cookies) so OBVIOUSLY i wrote an essay on shipping after reading romeo and juliet and i only got points knocked off because i didn't clarify why one of my sources (andrew hussie/homestuck) qualified as a good source on shipping quadrants. i also once wrote a star trek fanfic where they visited a planet where the events of animal farm had taken place and the enterprise crew just sort of how to deal with that (i might have this one on a flashdrive somewhere???)

i actually made a board game based on the oregon trail for a class.... and used the torchwood cast as the "pieces" and some of the chance/community chest equivalents would effect you differently depending on the character you were playing (was destroyed by some assholes, but we did get to play it in class, which was fun!)

my US history teacher actually banned me from using star trek characters because i used them as analogies for EVERYTHING (branches of government, representations of different historical figures in power points- we made a fake newspaper once and i called it the "Enterprise Daily" and filled some other areas to make it look more legit like an obituary full of names that mean "red" and of course a spirk marriage announcement) and i actually got sent to the principal's office because OBVIOUSLY i pushed the envelope too far by putting a transparent picture of william shatner over EVERY slide of an otherwise pristine power point presentation but the principal didn't do anything and sent me outside while he talked to the teacher. (i wasn't in TROUBLE, but i was still heavily discouraged from doing that again)

i was on a speech and debate team and literally acted out the sherlock reichenbach fall in a duos category- we never placed, but it was a lot of fun

none of these were an "and everyone clapped!" moment for me and were VERY cringe, but they were still super fun and... honestly a lot of them helped me engage with the material way better than i would have in any other setting. most teachers (save that US history teacher) didn't really care as long as i met the other parameters of the project (see homestuck shipping source not being sufficient) as that's the goal at the end of the day: to meet the standards of the rubric. i only totally bombed on one project, but the teacher let me redo it and the fandom stuff wasn't the problem. teachers don't want to see you fail most of the time. if you ever got a low grade on a project because it had fandom stuff in it, i guarantee you just didn't link it believably enough.

i would be surprised if anyone on this site hadn't snuck their fursona into an art project or an anime gif into a powerpoint or a pokemon into a diorama about the animal kingdom or some fanart into a brochure or- oh- well, you get it

[amstories]

Newsletter #11: December 2022

If I'll describe my entire 2022, I'd probably go with WOW. I may have plans prepared for this year but it's still surprising how God surprises me spontaneously with unexpected things.

This year's highlights weren't really expected but I'm glad they happened. Join me as I wrap my 2022 in writing!

YEARLY WRAP-UP

For me, 2022 is an unforgettable year because this is the year when I first released a story related to my profession—Medical Technology. Publishing 576 Hours With You was the best way to start the year because little did I know, I would be known by most of my readers for medical romance stories.

One of the projects I had this year was to bring back my old stories namely, Brownout (Lights Off), OFF LIMITS, and April Fools Day. The unrevised version of these stories made me cringe but it was actually a great learning experience as a writer. Revising and rewriting these stories made me realize that there is still room for improvement for me.

This is also the year when I tried to enter Wattpad Romance PH's writing contest. I was able to write entries for the January and October writing contests namely, Three, Two, One, and Baby Boo, respectively. Despite not winning the contest, writing these one-shots down was still an achievement for me. Besides, it was really a great writing exercise as well.

Last but not the least, and probably my greatest highlight among all of my 2022 stories... You Make Me Sick is my first story within a collaboration series. This is probably one of the most unexpected things to happen to me this year because this wasn't really part of the plan. Nevertheless, I'm not regretting it because this brought me talented collaborators turned to friends, milestones I never imagined for my stories, and a community of readers (despite being small).

2022 HIGHLIGHTS

This year is the first time I collaborated with some writers. First, Tales From The Closet was released by several participating authors for our Write For A Cause project, in order to extend help to victims of the typhoon Odette. It's a privilege and honor for me to use my writing as an avenue to help other people. Through this project, I also discovered underrated gems and gained new writer friends. WFAC writers, I'm glad I met you all!

That wasn't the lone collaboration project I joined this year. Last February, I stumbled upon Gwayne's tweet wherein she wanted to start a collaboration series featuring Medical Technology. Since I love my degree program so much, I took the chance to do so. Few months later, we were able to release our collaboration project entitled, "MedTech Love Stories." Because of this collaboration project, I was able to craft one of my best works I've written so far which is You Make Me Sick. Aside from this, I was also able to connect with my fellow medtech student writers. Despite our busy schedules, I'm glad I have found new friends who I can rant on about my studies and understand it as well.

You Make Me Sick did not only bring me new writer friends but an actual community of readers. More than the reads, votes, and comments, I believe that the actual people who I can talk to is the best gift that my stories could give me. It brought me friends who I can treat like a family, and I'll forever be grateful for that.

NEW NAME FOR READERS

Someone asked me what do I call my readers and I just answered, "readers." Just because I don't really have a name to collectively call them. (I'm so sorry, you guys! Hahaha.) One of the reasons why I didn't want to give a collective name for my readers is that it could easily be mistaken as a fandom. I feel uneasy about that term because I don't want to be idolized by anybody. Besides, I've always wanted to treat my readers as my friends.

Another reason why I haven't established a name for my readers was because I don't really have any good ideas for a name. But since someone already asked for it, I've really thought about it seriously. So if you're a reader of my stories, I welcome you to my community of readers, RNAs, which stands for Readers Ni AM!

In medicine, RNAs carry genetic information and have various functions such as translation of genetic information, regulation of gene activity, and so on. This is a reminder to myself and to my readers to treat each other like family. Since you've read at least one of my stories, I'm hoping that you already have a piece of me, just like a single strand of genetic information. At the same time, you are also a part of me already.

I wouldn't be able to reach this far without you. Thank you for 377 followers on Wattpad! 🧬

WRITING MILESTONES

Last year, I made sure to document my numbers to see my growth statistically. Numbers are undeniably great indicators of growth, thus, this yearly statistics. Looking at my statistics last year, I can conclude that there's also growth in numbers from the number of reads, to the number of stories I've published, and to the number of followers I have in Wattpad.

This was also the year I braved myself enough to apply for Wattpad's Ambassador Program, which I successfully graduated to last July. My job as a Content Ambassador is fulfilling and enjoyable even though it's tiring but it's all for the love of the Wattpad community.

And so another time, here I present my yearly statistics for 2022.

Once again, if you reach this, thank you so much for being a part of my 2022. I hope to see you again next year. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

nagsusulat, AM

[mt-lowercase-m-derogatory]

Some people's gender is just "Henchman", and I met a lot of those people.

This will be a long, self-centered, self-mythologizimg, rambling narrative about my youth where nobody comes off well. There is no moral to this, and there is no real story either. Insert the "This is not a place of Honor" copypasta here.

During my childhood/adolescence, I did not know I was really fucking chronically ill. I just thought that everything people do while not lying down just sort of sucked somewhat and people are ok with it. If an assignment required lots of handwriting, which took me significant effort and pain for very ugly results, I interpreted that to imply a view of us as so filled with respect for authority and desire to please that we would studiously do our work.

There is a lot of genuine callousness to the way children and teenagers are treated, and that naturally builds some frustration. Now imagine being able to vicariously release that frustration through one incredible asshole of a fellow child, someone locked in an endless battle against the teaching staff to be left alone about not doing homework, but also someone who shows up surprised to every exam before acing it.

A mythical figure simultaneously at odds with and one with the world. A transcendent Bodhisattva moonlighting as Cú Chulainn. Someone achieving what you are told are the goals of school, while being maligned for a lacking work ethic nonstop.

That is why I had friends as a child. There is no other explanation - I certainly didn't take initiative. I was too busy dissociating from my aching form by consuming an endless stream of books from the massive free library near me. At all times. Especially during classes. I would carry around separate novels in English and German to justify my actions to my English or German language professors. The amount of nonsense that happened to ensure my divine right to be uninterrupted in my pursuit of literature is difficult to describe. One of the persistent holdouts was my mathematics professor - despite the fact I'd annihilated the entire rest of the school and most of the country in every national mathematics competition, despite eventually making it to the god damn internationals, I was not allowed my printed opium.

... Ok it's midnight and I've spent way too long talking about books. Let's try to remember people. Ow ow ow ow pain pain bad idea.

I had some very close friends, overwhelmingly the kind of kids who could not yet quite figure out how to socially weaponize their intellectual interests. To them, I was Napoleon, and I don't have a complex, I think it's quite simple.

For so long, since kindergarten, I'd been told I just "thought I was better than everyone else/too good to put in effort"... That I started to believe it. I like to think it's a kind of humility - they wouldn't be wrong, right? I'm not special enough to be the one they all get wrong.

That's where the trouble started. I still believe I had a kind heart, but I had a black belt in the rhetoric of intellectual superiority and many eager students.

It's hard to describe what it was like to attract people (platonically and otherwise) based solely off being a smug asshole who knew too much. Fandom culture sometimes feels way too close to home, I feel like one of those people who misguidedly relate to Tyler Durden, except it's Gregory House and Wholock. I'm pretty sure that the few and unfortunate summer-camp-for-gifted-teens girls who tried to approach me before I realized I was unique in being aro/ace- they projected some hateable tumblr sexyman on me. and that's-that's harrowing.

I don't feel like any of the changes in my life have truly come from anything except realizing the things that were wrong with my body the whole time, except that one thing. The thought of someone wanting to be "the Watson" or "Wilson" to my dysfunctional bitch witticisms IRL has grown kind of horrifying.

[whentherewerebicycles]

today was an ELEVEN HOUR DAY god I just got home but it was so fulfilling and full of so many good human interactions!!!!

[mouse-fantoms]

Why You Shouldn’t Sleep on I Got The Music

I know that when we heard that Jatp got an Emmy nomination (one of seven) for Best Original Song and the three that were up for that title was Unsaid Emily, Other Side Of Hollywood and I Got The Music. I saw a few people being confused as to how I Got The Music got a nomination. I know that as the fandom goes that is known as everyone’s least favorite. As the title of this suggests, I just wanna bring another perceptive into that conversation.

At a first look, I do understand why it’s not everyone’s favorite because it’s not a Julie and the Phantoms (the band) song and those (we are a tadddd bias) tend to be our favs. But, I Got The Music means something.

As we know, when she walks into the building she’s boppin’. She’s dancing, drumming along, signing along (probably doesn’t actually sing out in reality that might be part of her daydreaming taking over but she’s probably lip syncs to whatever she’s listening to) and her classmates see that.

Granted we didn’t see what Julie was like before her mom passed but because Ray says “They brought my little niña back” we can assume that how we see her now is similar or what she was like before Rose passed. Since it’s been a year since her mom passed, it was likely her classmates would have seen the change in Julie. Even if you don’t know the person, you’re still going to notice a change in your classmate compared to how they usually are.

The way all her classmates react in the beginning of the song (we know it’s reality bc Julie has her earbuds in) is they’re happy! They’re dancing and going along with her! This is the first time they’re seeing Julie back to the self they remember her as (there could have been new students that transferred into the new school year and they would just know Julie as how she was before she met the guys). Like they’re all smiling and stuff bc they haven’t seen her like this in a year, she’s back to the old Julie Molina they knew and saw her as and I don’t know it’s just very heartwarming to see her classmates react like that. 🥰

This is where her daydreaming takes over as you can probably guess. Very High School Musical-y (lol we can tell Kenny is apart of this project). She’s got a jacket, her hair is different, bestie is living her best day dream. Along with her hair, there’s something else about it,

In her hair, is the braided pink, blue and red strands. Alex, Luke and Reggie’s colors (as we know).

(The same strands that she did in reality braid into her hair for the Stand Tall performance)

Julie actively added the braided strands into her daydream to represent the guys because she probably feels like without them, she wouldn’t be at the point she is now. The point where she can sing a full song about how happy she is that music is back in her life.

This is a girl who for a year of her life was not able to do anything music related when previously that was a huge part of her life. She hasn’t set foot in the garage where music constantly was. The piano has a sheet over it because of how long it’s gone untouched. She apologizes that she hasn’t been in there more often because she deep down wants to, but hasn’t been able to because of the pain it would cause to her. Even when she was in class earlier, she hovers her hands over the keys wanting to play but can’t bring herself to. But then, three guys who’s entire lives are music, come into hers. Not to mention she’s also able to write songs with someone other than her mom for the first time with spending the whole weekend before this writing them with Luke.

She’s singing to everyone, involving everyone in her daydream about how happy she is music is in her life again!!! (I know I’m a broken record but... IT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SONG 🥺😭 This girl who wasn’t able to do ANYTHING music related can now do music related things)

She wants to involve her classmates:

She wants to involve the music department who’s whole entire thing is music:

Involves her best friend:

Even gives classmates their own lil solos so no one misses out on the dancing and being involved!!!

Everyone is involved:

Of course even the lyrics show how happy she is!!!

Ain't gonna fight it cause it's useless

I can't get this music out of my head

It's like the beat is taking over

Weight off of my shoulders, dancing instead

And something's feeling different in the hallways

Somethings looking, looking like it's changed

I've been moving to the rhythm for the whole day

A million lyrics running through my brain

Talking about the start of music being back. Weight off of my shoulders as in her life isn’t all about her grief anymore. Dancing instead as in for the first time, she’s focused on something else and her grief isn’t the top priority because music is again. Somethings looking, looking like it’s changed I mean pretty obvious there, she knows that there’s a change in her now that she has it back.

Everybody here we go, this thing is unstoppable

Haven't felt this in a minute, it's incredible

I got the music back inside of me

Every melody and chord

Can't stop the music, back inside my soul

And it's stronger than beforе

Haven’t felt this in a minute, it’s incredible it’s an incredible feeling for her. And it’s stronger than before when you got three guys in your life who’s entire soul is music, you’re gonna get it back stronger and more intense than ever. She’s just so happy music is in her life again and it’s so wonderful to see Julie Molina sing about it 🥺

[ssuckitlosers]

as a uni student i shouldnt encourage u not to do work but like relatable so do you have ships that you have a particular dynamic you love the most? Like the ship is good anyway, but certain AUs or dynamics just HIT?

Thank youuuu, I am so bored of reading academic literature 😭😭

Honestly, I love reading long multichapter fics, which may influence my favourite AU’s and dynamics… but if we will see.

In general, all of my favourite ships fall under the classic extrovert x introvert dynamic. (acts first x think first; upfront x secretive, ect.)

Specific ships… I probably have the most thoughts on PrUK and USUK. Though I’ll keep it brief cause ironically, I could write an essay on them.

For USUK, a Cardverse AU is top tier. They are the King and Queen of Spades, it practically writes itself. Honestly Cardverse fics hit different, and rarely misses imo.

And I love a magic/fantasy AU anyway, especially for USUK. The wizard x hero dynamic is great for them and I also enjoy the classic werewolf x vampire pairing. Magical Strike AU is also amazing.

USUK’s dynamic… I am going to struggle to keep this brief lmao; I genuinely could write a whole separate post about it. Basically, they are best friends; they know each other better than anyone else in the world.

Feeling realisation fic’s are top tier imo; gimme the confused jealousy when one of them starts dating someone else. Add in some mutual pining, miscommunication and hurt/comfort and it’s a winner. I also love a good slow burn fic but they’re usually pretty rare.

Currently, PrUK is my favourite ship out of any fandom, but I’ve already wrote too much so I will keep it brief 😭💀

Ironically, a PrUK College/University AU, hits different. As does a coworkers/office AU. I could go on… (honestly I think far too much about potential PrUK AU’s/ideas.)

Oh, and historical nationverse fic’s.

For AU’s, I love the tropes that force them to get to know each other. Like, they have to work on a project together or are fake dating, are probably my top two. Friends with Benefits is also one of my favourite tropes for them. (It’s killing me to keep this brief, and it’s still long lmao.)

My favourite PrUK dynamic is when they are both hated individually but surprisingly get along with each other. /They disliked each other before they even met, which resulted in some unspoken competition to rile the other up and see if the stories are true. Now there’s palpable tension because neither of them have ever exercised this much self-restraint, but they’re not going to lose.

It’s brief for me okay? I could have made this significantly longer 😂😂😂 also I prefer nyo!fruk over canon fruk, and 2p1p USUK hits different.

Anyone else got any favourite dynamics/AU’s for specific ships?

[playing-with-research]

Immature vs Mature Fandoms

I met with one of my Fans and Fan Communities students yesterday to talk about her research project on Taylor Swift and Swifties. The student is interested in what leads Swifities to remain or leave the fandom given all the changes in Swift's discography, as well as more recently her political activism.

One thing we discussed is how a fandom can grow and change over time just like people do. I've been thinking about the developmental trajectory of a fandom as related to identity formation, so here are some ideas to that end.

Fandoms can start like children, where we become emotionally attached to something we love. Then, over time, as we learn that others are fans of the same thing, we may develop the affirmational and/or transformational aspects of our fandom as we negotiate how others are emotionally attached to the same thing. It's almost like when children have siblings, and there's the process of working out how to share the love of parents. Well, fans who engage with other fans need to work out how sharing the fandom will impact them -- and perhaps attachment anxieties play a role here...

Additionally, as fandom becomes more integrated into one's identity and sense of self -- especially in relationship to other fans, non-fans, and anti-fans -- then the fans may act out and jockey to curry their love's and fan community's attention and favors. Perhaps those most insecure about their relationship with the fandom may be more likely to act out in such adolescent frustration, anxiety, and rebellion.

If not handled well, this adolescence can result in long-term issues with the fandom -- the idea of "falling in with the wrong crowd" as it were that begets the worst types of online trolls and other forms of anonymous harassers.

If not handled well, when that fandom is confronted with information that challenges it -- say, oh, that Joss Whedon is an asshole -- then a fandom stuck in an immature adolescence could become extremely defensive and toxic, preferring to only be around other fans experiencing the same pain and not learning how to renegotiate their relationship with the fandom.

A mature fandom emerges through such renegotiation in recognition of the pain the fandom may be causing oneself and others. A mature fandom accepts differences of interpretation and opinion, new additions to that which they love, and conflicts of belief and cognitive dissonance rationally.

A mature fandom can lead to a lifelong fandom. An immature fandom may sputter and die faster, hurting people from its toxicity.

[laerrynseelie]

shadowgast in "cowboy like me"

hello and welcome to another episode of Coco projects all of her issues onto Caleb Widogast and also cries about the Other Gay Purple Wizard™. this episode is sponsored by severe sleep deprivation and being in the airport at 6am, which is where I wrote most of this. but this is also something I've been yelling about for weeks, primarily at @theravenkingscourt and @dinah-lance, sponsored by taylor swift and emotions.

I will begin this dissertation with the song "cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift, from the album "evermore." those overlapping in the taylor swift and critical role fandoms have spent a long while yelling about how cowboy like me was MADE for shadowgast, and it is. here is my most recent annotation of the song lyrics (spoilers, obvs):

cowboy like me has many lines that have a direct, literal line to shadowgast, such as "the old men that I've swindled" == Ikithon, etc. but the things I want to highlight here are the themes it presents, and why I hold these boys so near and dear to my heart, and maybe why you do too. (also cc: @shadowgastweek)

many lines repeat but can have various, literal and metaphorical meanings. "eyes full of stars" can be about Rosohna, the dumancy floor of the tower, or ambition and power and desire. the fun thing about this is that they all connect together into a wonderful constellation of pain :) without Essek's ambition, the beacons wouldn't have gotten to the Cerberus Assembly, and they may have never met. without Caleb's ambition, he may have never been at the Solstryce Academy, ended up with a beacon, in Rosohna, or met Essek, or learned dunamancy, or have the floor of endless possibility. and much of this is put aside for the Nein and each other. "never thought I'd meet you here" indeed.

the bridge and third stanza of this song go SO. HARD. I have spent MONTHS yelling about the hanging gardens of babylon and no I will not stop. first of all, it's just a great fucking line. "now you hang from my lips / like the gardens of babylon" bitch are you FUCKING kidding me. the story of the gardens is that the queen missed her homeland, which had sprawling greenery, and so the king made her a garden that went around the palace and over roofs. (hey hey hey, gravity, xhorhaus, tower, you get it.) and I want to focus on the question on if the gardens actually exist. there are no surviving babylonian texts that mention the gardens, and no archaeological evidence that it ever existed. so it is a story that no one can confirm, or something completely obliterated by time and society. (or misattributed and was actually a different garden but shh it doesn't fit as well) for me, that's a strong allegory for the queer experience, and looking back at history and relationships. moreover, let's think about Caleb and Essek's interactions, and the fear of showing affection == being outed. studying together, talking close, forehead kisses. something that is not confirmed, or will be obliterated by their circumstances.

a theme that stands out from "cowboy like me" is this idea of wanting love. as a queer asian immigrant kid and a sociology student, the conditions of unconditional love is a concept that fascinates me. societally, unconditional love is talked about a lot, especially in relation to families, which we know if not always the case, and we fear it constantly. it’s hiding bad grades from your parents, or feeling like you need to prove yourself to earn love. it’s going to a pride parade and removing the stickers and face paint on the train home. it’s the fear of abandonment, of what if this is what makes it too much to love me. there was a post floating around (hehe, floating) about how both caleb and essek skirted around the ACTUAL worst things that they've done when asked about it. throughout the campaign, something that Caleb and Essek have gone through, not just with each other but the rest of the Nein, is hiding the unforgiveable things they’ve done because they think that will make them leave. and they take every unforgiveable thing, and they love them anyway. these things still happened, and that’s not okay, and they don’t dismiss it, and maybe, just maybe, if people can love them despite every unforgiveable thing, maybe they can let themselves be loved. maybe they can love themselves. and maybe, they can love, too.

the fear of love not being enough is also threaded through the song. in the case of shadowgast, it's the question of country, of war, political positions, familial desires, friends, location. (it's the question of if matthew mercer will let shadowgast be endgame goddammit.) in caleb's words, it's complicated. the Nein have defeated a lot "with the power of friendship," but what if it's not enough? what if they don't get Molly back, or they're corrupted by the eyes, or they can't get Veth back to her family? what if Trent gets Essek, or Caleb, or the Dynasty finds out, or Astrid and Eadwulf betray them, or they find their way back to old paths of power and ambition. what if love isn't enough?

"and the skeletons in both our closets / plotted hard to fuck this up" hurts me. taylor swift's bridges never miss. first of all, in closets, gay, obligatory pun, yada yada yada. it's also all the unforgiveable things they've done, war and Caleb's family, "important" but "not good" intentions, and all the people who threaten them now, ex. cerberus assembly, bisexual maelstrom, and the fact that Essek worked with the very people who abused and manipulated Caleb. all these previous fears are present in this line.

and when we see someone who is healing, who is loved, doesn't that give us hope? and isn't that present throughout critical role's history? we get to see full grown adults still enjoy a hobby, with a solid group of friends, tell us stories about growth. tell us healing is possible. Liam is Caleb and the Nein, showing this to us, Essek.

I will leave you with this. there is a theory that every relationship we have is a reflection of our relationship with our parents. every relationship is us trying to get that first relationship right, this time. this is fascinating to look at for each of the M9 (Beau and her aggression and strength and standing up against authority; Jester and her positivity and kindness and acceptance; Fjord needing to be strong and taking control), but of course I'm going to talk about Caleb. think of Caleb and Ikithon. think of Caleb and Veth. think of Caleb's need to prove he is good enough, not just in power and intelligence and ambition, but that he is good. that he is good enough. think of how his intelligence is his armor and his weapons, both literally and figuratively. at making sure Veth gets back to her family. of showing off for Essek, believing in Essek and in Essek's goodness. Essek being Caleb's foil is beautiful, but what if this is Caleb, making sure that this time, they survive.

[cami-chats]

College Boyfriend

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV)

Pairing: Five Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves

Summary: Five was a condescending know-it-all, made all the worse to his project partners by the fact that he did know all of the material already. The university wifi crashing ends with them at Five's apartment, and they leave with more questions about his personal life than before.

Read below or on AO3

Five liked his life. It was strange to think after so many years of not being content let alone happy, but he was. All of his siblings were a phone call away. Allison was on the other side of the country, but she was still reachable. The Academy had gotten a makeover, so Vanya and Klaus had moved back in with Luther.

And then of course there was Diego, but Five saw Diego every single day in the apartment they shared. Convincing Diego to move out of his back room at the gym hadn't been as easy as Five had imagined, but in the end, he'd been triumphant. Diego still worked at the gym in the evenings, but now he stayed at their apartment in the day or visited the Academy instead of wasting away in that dank hole-- Five's words, not Diego's.

Five spent his days at college, attending classes and doing his homework, and he spent his nights kissing Diego. It was a nice little arrangement, if he did say so. He could've stood to look a little older, though. Diego looked the thirty-five years old that he was, but Five looked to be, at most, twenty-five. He'd like to be forty, maybe forty-five. Forty-five was a nice age. Comfortable in your own skin, but not so old that you were falling apart. He couldn't deny that there was still a bit of an itch under his skin from being so young, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as being a teenager had been.

Looking like he was twenty let him do what he wanted, without any of the aches and pains that age brought. Still. He could've done without his professors talking down, like they knew more than him. Like Doctor Davis, who taught his Shakespeare class. She said that she'd been studying Shakespeare for ten years, and Five wanted to tell her that that wasn't shit because he'd spent a full fifteen years arguing with Delores about Lady Macbeth's motivation-- and they'd disagreed to the very end. But he couldn't say that, which meant he and Doctor Davis spent a lot of time glaring at each other when they talked. He was pretty sure he was the sole reason she'd decided to give them a fucking group project, but she wouldn't admit as much. Diego thought it was funny the way he thought everything was funny when it didn't concern him. What an ass.

*

Five was a pretty weird guy. He was condescending-- which wasn't that weird-- but he actually already knew all the material. There was no reason for him to be in the class other than the degree requirement. It was really easy to be condescending when you were right, they guessed. 'They' being Five's unfortunate partners for the group project that they had in Shakespeare. Five had protested loudly at a group project, but Doctor Davis had only shrugged and said it was part of the curriculum.

They met up at the campus library two times before, and this was the third time so they could finish. Things were going pretty well-- or at least, they started going well once they figured out that Five's insults weren't personal and he didn't really care. It was more like he had no brain to mouth filter, so that every little thought came out where most people would've stopped before saying it-- even with that being said, he was still annoying. They didn't like him, and he didn't like them. For the most part, they ignored that to get the work done.

They were so close to finishing. Another two hours, and they'd be set.

That was when the internet went out. For all of them. They were in the middle of restarting their laptops and reconnecting to the wifi when an announcement went over the PA. "Attention to all occupants. The campus internet is out, and we've been told that it won't be fixed until tomorrow morning at the earliest. We apologize for the inconvenience."

"Shit," Allen breathed. "Does anyone live off campus? I'm in the dorms."

"Me too," Aisha said with a worried frown.

"I live in the sorority house, but it's the same wifi as the campus," Judy said.

None of them really wanted to ask Five, but after clenching his jaw for a moment, he answered on his own. "I guess we can go to my apartment."

"Okay, cool," Allen said, trying not to sound as thrown as he was, and they all started packing up now that they knew what the plan was. "Thanks."

"How long does it take to get to your place on the bus?" Judy asked.

Then, looking even more uncomfortable than before, Five said, "I'll just drive us."

"You have a car?" Judy said, surprised. Five didn't bother to answer, but after seeing the car, it became clear that Five was loaded. What other college kid had a Rolls Royce? She half expected for him to pull up to a swanky condo, but he went to an ordinary looking apartment building and parked.

Every inch of his posture screamed that he didn't want to be inviting them to where he lived, but they were sort of out of options for other places to go. There were coffee shops and shit, but with the campus wifi out, every student that lived in the dorms would be filling those places and there wouldn’t be room for all of them.

Five unlocked the door, and they all filed in, not knowing what to expect from his place. Walls of books would've fit right in with his know-it-all aura, but an empty living room with no decoration also wouldn't have been out of place. The way his living room actually looked was almost too normal. There was a tv set up on a stand that probably hadn't been made for it. There was a small bookshelf stuffed more books than it could easily hold. One couch and a banged up coffee table in front of it with various items on it. There was a poster for an Allison Hargreeves movie on the wall, and what looked like an oil painting.

The thing that really got to them was that Five didn't live alone. It was obvious in the way the living room was built to accommodate two people-- the two hooks for coats and the indent of where two pairs of shoes usually sat at the door, not to mention the set of dishes by the sink that couldn't only be accounted for with only one person. His roommate was either as weird as him, or a normal person trying to ignore his eccentricities, and his project partners hoped that they'd never have the chance to figure it out.

Five grabbed an index card from the tv stand and put it on the coffee table while he worked on clearing the rest of it off. Aisha glanced at the card and realized it was the wifi network information. She pulled out her laptop and tapped impatiently as she waited for it to boot up. She got her internet set up, then passed the index card to Allen since he was next to her. She took a glance around but didn't see an outlet. Her laptop's battery was shit; she wouldn't be able to make it through the evening without plugging it in.

"Hey Five?" Aisha said, the end of her charger in one hand.

He glanced over at her, then nodded to the right of her. "It's at the edge of the couch."

"Thanks."

None of them made themselves comfortable, knowing that this wasn't a social visit. It was an awkward hour as they hurriedly worked, but they didn't get a chance to finish before they were interrupted. And when the interruption came, it came in a big way. Like a fucking superstar walking into the room, because that's exactly what happened. It was Allison Hargreeves! Allison fucking Hargreeves walked into the place holding a massive picture frame.

There was no way Allison Hargreeves was the one who lived here. Simply no way. She had a kid and shit, didn't she? And she wouldn't settle for living in a place like this-- it wasn't a dump or anything, but it wasn't where a famous movie star would live. What the hell was she doing here? Come to think of it, Five's last name was Hargreeves, wasn't it? Maybe they were related somehow. It would certainly explain the expensive car and the better-than-you attitude. Hell, if Aisha had Allison Hargreeves for a sister, she'd think that she was better than everyone else, too.

Another woman walked up behind her, looking like a housewife straight out of a fifties advertisement, from the smile on her face to her perfectly coiffed hair to the short heels on her feet that matched her skirt.

"Oh hey Five," Allison fucking Hargreeves said, like she saw him everyday.

He glanced over at her. "Did you seriously fly over from LA to go shopping with Grace?" Then his eyes flickered over to the other woman. "Hi Grace."

"Hello Five, darling," she said. It was kind of unimaginable that Five let anyone call him darling, but he didn't seem bothered by it.

"Actually," Allison Hargreeves said, "I came over to hang out with Diego, and he wanted to go shopping with Mom. I didn't have anything better to do, so I tagged along. He said you were busy tonight." She glanced over at them and smiled, then gave a little wave with her free hand.

They all waved back numbly. "We're working on a group project together," Judy managed to say.

"Are you going to introduce us?" Grace-- Mom??-- asked.

"No," Five said bluntly. "We're not friends."

"You really should make some friends," Grace said, her smile still in place. "They're important for your social development." All he had to do was look at her, and she said, "Sorry dear. It's instinct."

"I can be out of your hair soon, if you want," Allison Hargreeves said.

"Whose hair are we getting out of?" a man asked, kicking the door closed. You ever look at a guy and think 'I don't want to fuck with him'? Yeah, that was this guy. The paper bags he was holding from shopping weren't intimidating, but his clothes barely hid a strong physique, and the scar on his head only added to the badass factor he had going on. Allen was pretty sure the only people that owned boots like that were familiar with breaking people's bones, and he shrank in on himself slightly without thinking about it. Then he saw Five and said, "Hey babe." He said it to Five. Was... was he Five's boyfriend?! Was Five living here with his boyfriend?? "Something wrong with the library?"

"The internet decided to die," he said wryly. "We're almost done."

"Cool." Five's boyfriend (probably boyfriend??) walked towards the bedroom, and Allison Hargreeves and that Grace woman followed him. The door stayed open, but it was far enough away that when they spoke, the group could only hear the murmurs of their voices and not the words that were being said.

They were distracted for a little while by the fact that they'd just met Allison Hargreeves, the most famous and talented actress in Hollywood, but they managed to get the rest of the work done without wasting too much time.

If it were anyone other than Five, they probably would've been able to get an official introduction to her-- maybe a picture or two-- but they finished the project, gave it a quick read-through to make sure there was nothing obvious missing, and then they were being ushered out. Aisha got out her phone and ordered an Uber as they packed up.

Five turned his head and called, "We're done!" down the hallway.

As they left, Judy saw Five kiss the man that had walked in with Allison Hargreeves and Grace. Definitely his boyfriend, then, though personally, she thought that he was too old for Five. She knew better than to say that aloud, so she just said goodbye and that she'd see him in class.

They were all glad that they only had the one class with Five.

[onf-headcanons]

ONF UNIVERSITY AU

A/n : ok this is just the first (?) elaboration of the au. This is also meshed with senpai au. I actually already had a few moodboards (Yuto and Minseok ones) and a senpai AU of Seungjoon that opened up the idea, its just i did not have the time and luxury to expand the au. Another reason was that timing i am still learning about ONF so I don't want to go too OOC on things I am not familiar with.

To keep it short, the boys actually formed a dance club and they named themselves ONF

I do said dance club but if you wanna utilise it like F4 from meteor garden, it totally flexible

Also totally doable if you wanna use the university au as the main worldbuilding for other AU, examples, Sibling AU, or any BF headcanons I have mentioned like the MTL for PDA. MTL to confess and MTL to leave hickies, so do check out masterlist (that is constantly updating )

Also, even though it might retcon some setting I have already done, but it is totally doable for University AU to be the prequel for Office AU.

OH HEADS UP, FOR THIS AU I AM ALTERING THEIR AGE. Their real life age difference are about 4-5 years which is unrealistic to fit for the au, so shrink age difference to 1-2 years. 

One of the project they did as a dance club, which they uploaded

Let see the members headcanons below

Hyojin : Probably musical student but if we were to jump out from stereotype,I do feel him studying marketing (analysts side)

OK if this boy does not finish his assignments in the cafeteria, then he is not Kim Hyojin lol. Constantly munching something while he trying to finish assignment or solve a problematic question

Even if Seungjoon drags him to library to do assignments . HYOJIN DEFO GONNA MAKE EXCUSE TO BUY BEVERAGE FOR THE 2 OF THEM AND SNEAKS OUT FOR A SHORT WHILE.

The type that try his best on getting good results on every class. But he never brags about it.

Should we give him a senpai au plot, I would write him as the senpai you have a crush on since high school and you did not know he attend the same university as you.

Changyoon : Design student for sure😉 Interior design, graphic design or even fashion design. Oh! Film Director also not bad? (I mean he has loads of ideas and thoughts also let's not forget about Incomplete MV)

Ppl which are not in their circles would be like, "how did you even get along with the others?" Because his majors are very different compared to the other 6

Hmm I do feel it is more like Changyoon did not make the first move to join the group. Probably the Capricorns/ENFPS (Seungjoon or Jaeyoung)

So maybe he kinda drop by to a short marketing class so that he can gain insight on how advertisements film can grasp audience heart. There he either met Hyojin or Seungjoon (maybe both) ,then only the bond gets deeper

After knowing each other he finally comfortable to be himself and does not feel awkward anymore...

Also including this hc here because I only thought of it when writing. HYOJIN,CHANGYOON, SEUNGJOON AND MINKYUN teaming up to sing something? Like them 4 have a YouTube channel that upload their covers, without showing their faces, using illustrations drawn by Changyoon

Seungjoon : Could go for science genre or maybe business administration? Also anything related with mathematics(that need flexible solving) might suit him too

Might occasionally appear in the library. Not really searching for books to read,more on giving himself the environment to complete assignments. But visits bookstore too

Maybe, the most social-able being in the group. Constantly waving or say hi to acquaintance/classmates passing by. Even though that, there are never rumours or scandals of Seungjoon being playboy. (But totally the first one in the group to get a GF, hint established in his senpai au)

Like people only notices the group because of him because of his social skills. Its kind of like the fairy who brings/enlarge the fandom lol

You can read his Senpai au here

Might doing part time job at a cafe nearby university because of distance+ time convenience purposes. The other members of the group might occasionally hang out at the place, waiting for him to finish his shift or Yuto to finish his lessons and then they go eat dinner

Jaeyoung : High chance of choosing communication related genre or/also social science/sociology related genre. I won't be surprised if he will choose psychology or behavioural science

Easily to find him in library searching for books to read/expand his pov. Sitting beside windows

One of the hyungs that will explains Korean to Yuto. Especially idioms.

First impression would be the quiet good looking one that definitely gonna stay back to ask lecturer more questions

The second on in the group to get a GF. But very very low key.

Linking to the tutor AU I posted recently, he might be teaching online to gain extra income because he does not want to do part time job to exhaust himself as he want to reserve energy to dance. Which also the main factor he suggested Yuto to do online teaching later

Minkyun : Musical student but focusing on composing. To jump from stereotypes, he could be going to broadcast communications, to become professional radio DJ

He might also join another club which is established by uni it self to make radio broadcast that plays at the cafeteria.

Cues in other members all recognise his voice immediately. Lol if he qccidentally messed up on some wordings, the next time they meet they are gonna tease him for sure haha

OK this applies to all of them but I only remembered to include this during writing for Minkyun, the boys are totally banned from playing any games at the cafeteria lol (not a strict ban but they are loud lol.) So they changed plans to play game and hangout at home, with Yuto coming over to sleep over.

Yuto : the exchange student / the foreign student who is majoring in Korean language. High chance going for Korean language teaching later.

Once they knew Yuto's Korean Proficiency level are above average, the boys are supportive and proud of him af. Lol also his devilish hyungs teasing him that he should get a girlfriend, it is a way to master language lol

Cues in his hyungs helping him out by giving him small tests of Korean grammar

Could be the only one who lives in university dorms. But he gets to have sleepovers with his hyungs at their house during weekends (rent or family residence,up to you)

Even encourages him to try out online teaching beginners first to gain experiences

Probably feeling sadden the most when found out Minseok had to quit university. Also could not help feeling lonely when his hyungs graduated. (Some did extend studies but some did not. My hunch, Minkyun and Chang Yoon could be the first two to graduated first. Jaeyoung and Yuto being the last two to graduate)

Minseok : a junior who studies history and choosing Japanese + Chinese as sub majors. Who knows, he might choose translating/interpreting as major later (I mean have you seen some interviews where he used Japanese and Chinese, damn his pronunciation is good, trust me cos i speak both language)

Did not get to stay long, maybe just 1 year and a half then he had to quit university because his whole family are moving out from the country (no worries they contact each other online frequently). His hyungs defo doing a farewell party for him.

Even though short time, but he gained the title of university sweetheart by the first day he starts uni. 

Same as Seungjoon and Jaeyoung, the type to find him in library alot.

Of course gonna ask Yuto a lot of Japanese grammar questions

BTW if link to Sibling AU, should we link it to the double Kim household, Minseok did not drop out. He could have participated an exchange program and had to leave for overseas to complete a course at a better institute

A/N : Ok I am gonna stop here before it gets even messier (slaps forehead I changdolled while writing this)

[studiesof-fandom-primaryblog]

My Life as an Acafan: an autoethnography but not really

When I started this text, I thought of the different ways I could do it. I even wrote three paragraphs talking about how the pandemic affected my life and how I had to find ways to deal with the losses I went through during the quarantine (the loss of my plans, of my steady income, of my emotional stability, of the balance between my depression and anxiety). However, I couldn’t evoke the feelings I wanted to. So, I decided to start talking about how everything started. 

Last year, I started going to Clube Coréia (Korea Club), which is the study group to learn korean at the university (UFRJ) I attend, and that’s how I met @sunshvness (Gyu). We started speaking to each other because she saw a fanart on my phone case that featured our favorite Thai actors, so it was fairly easy for us to become friends. 

I don’t really remember how I ended up mentioning my research project, but I know we eventually talked about my love for fanfiction. I told her I’ve decided to study my passion during my undergrad, with plans to expand and deepen my research in a master’s and doctorate programs. She confessed her desire of studying fandom too and, being the good fangirl I am, I offered my support. Because that’s what we always want! We want people studying what we study, especially if they are already part of the fan culture. I sent her my “small” library of fan studies on the chance that she really wanted to invest in research. A few months later, she took my invitation because she had the idea of creating an extension course about LGBT representativity in fanfic (quick explanation: in our university it’s possible for undergrad students to manage an extension course as part of their professional training under the supervision of a professor). I was pretty excited with the project, but I ended up forgetting about it thanks to the end of semester distress followed by our really lengthy Summer vacations.

At the end of February, my work spouse Marcelo (don’t forget this name, he’ll be mentioned several times as this project progresses) let me know there was a new extension course that seemed to be made for me! So, he sent me the poster of the course ‘Representativity LGBTQ+: dialogues between mainstream production versus fanfiction’ and what surprise! It dawned on me it was the project Gyu had mentioned to me the previous year. Obviously, I enrolled in the course and I was extremely excited to finally be part of something that really enthralls me. And then COVID-19 happened, the university stopped… So you get what happened. Or, in this case, didn’t happen.  

Well, due to my excitement about the course, Gyu and I started texting each other and talking a lot more. That’s when she invited me to give a lecture about fanfiction in her course. Not only did I accept, but also I got really into the idea of teaching about fanfiction, its history and relevance to our culture. I confess that I started lowkey daydreaming about my future, about having my own course that I could teach not only fanfics, but other fan practices and explore even more the field of fan studies. And that’s when I had my eureka moment. 

Why would I leave this idea to the future, when I could do it now? So, I quickly outlined the kind of course I wanted to teach and presented the idea to Gyu , inviting her to become my partner in this crazy venture and she said yes. And that’s why I’m writing this text now.

Before I go further, let me explain one thing: we are from Brazil and we don’t have anything consolidated about Fan Studies here, so we would be the first in our country to do something like that - at least that we are aware of. In Brazilian academic world, we do have a few researches about fandom, but nothing related to Fan Studies as a field. Just to everyone understand the situation of studying fandom in my country: we have around five books in Portuguese directly related to it. What we want to do is to bring Fan Studies to Brazil as a consolidated field and make it accessible to people that don’t speak English - but to make it happen we need people interested in it, so the course would help us with that. 

My Life as an Acafan is going to be a kind of diary to register the process of creating the course and, at the same time, a place to write down my feelings and thoughts related to the work I’m doing. The plan is to keep a register from the planning to the conclusion of the course (which means it will include my thoughts regarding the course once I’ve taught it), so there isn’t a real deadline to finish this project. My proposal here is to develop something close to an autoethnography where I’ll write about the progression of my role as an academic fangirl, even if I don’t have any intention of doing a serious study based on this particular experience. I don’t know if this will be actual useful in the future, but this is the kind of meaningful register I want to keep for future me. I want to be able, when I’m older, to look at my past and see how much I evolved and matured since I’ve started my lifetime research. And, if you are still confused about the title of the text, the term acafan is the combination of the expression academic fan - which is how researchers who are also part of fan culture call themselves.

So, keep an eye here because in a few days I’ll be back with some thoughts related to fandom, especially related to academic research from a fangirl point of view. This text here is much more an introduction of what I’m going to do during this project and the reason it exists.

So, see you all soon and have a good week ♥

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Wife’s Hilda Rewatch - The Midnight Giant

I hereby declare this session of my rewatch open. And I’d like to begin it with a matter of utmost importance

Woff migration. How does it work? Do they go to warmer places in winter? Or maybe they have such warm fur that they go to colder places in summer? More at seven.

“Wouldn’t you like to have some other kids to talk to?” “I have myself to talk to! And Twig!” Like. Wow, Hilda is really out there being a whole mood during the quarantine. Me too, Hilda. Me too.

Can we talk about how this girl literally jumped out of her window, climbed the darn roof and jumped onto a flying woff? The heck kind of military training did Johanna give her child?! I don’t think you learn those things simply from living in the wilderness. I don’t think you should, at least. But maybe that’s just me.

Also, the Midnight Giant was so unbothered by her, it’s kind of hilarious. Like, yeah, this human just jumped from a woff onto my head, and now she’s literally whispering inside my ear, but no prob, I’ll just politely answer her questions like one does. What an icon.

And today’s bi characters of the day is: the sky. The colours are bad in my picture but I swear the sky is the bi flag in this scene, which is very cool and I wanted to point it out.

Knowing Hilda I shouldn’t be surprised, but I still can’t believe that she actually fell asleep in the giant’s ear. I mean, he is an enormous creature that she has just met, and she feels safe enough to fall asleep in his ear. How many heart attacks per week do you guys think Johanna has?

Very sweet of the giant to drop Hilda off at her house, btw. He is a cool dude. A valid guy.

It will never not be funny to me how judgy Hilda is of the school’s playground. She’s so suspicious about it look at her

You promised your mother you’d keep an open mind, Hilda. Don’t be like that.

Also also also, I’d like to point out Frida and David in this scene

Frida is so excited about the book she’s showing David!! This is so pure!!! I wonder what it is about

The whole- the whole scene with Woodman when they arrive back at their home is gold, okay? I can’t even pick a favorite line. It’s all amazing. Johanna complaining about him, him saying he’s not part of the family, all of it. Woodman, don’t ever change.

Hey y’all, where did Woodman buy his disks? Where did he buy his books? It can’t all be from gambling with elves. Does he just go for a shopping day in Trollberg? I can’t imagine being a retail worker and then one day this little dude made of wood with a floating head and no eyes shows up wanting to buy, idk, a new couch or something.

...did he steal those things? Until I know all the facts, I will think this is a possibility.

Did anyone else think that this summoning young giants to watch over the Earth for millennia is kind of... dictatorial? Not a very nice move to order someone to sit on the top of a mountain for so long. Besides, humankind is perfectly capable of causing problems to itself without threats coming from above, thank you very much.

Top ten pictures taken before disaster lol

Is it just me or Alfur freaking out when Hilda flies the woff (“what are you doing? Woffs are unpredictable! They migrate willy-nilly!” “This is why one should never fly without a permit!”) is not only super relatable, but kind of... reminds me... of someone...

*General Grievous voice* General Kenobi!

Ahem. Anyway.

Are we gonna talk about the implications of a whole darn mountain just downright disappearing? I mean, people study mountains and their formations and stuff. Can you imagine a group of, idk, geology or geography students going to that valley to do a project and when they get there there’s a whole mountain that has gone missing? It would be wild, man. College students don’t have that much sanity to spare.

—————————————————-

STOP for a few seconds. This is the “let’s appreciate the Hilda colour pallete” time

Thank you for your attention. Now back to the episode.

—————————————————-

Oh man, that moment when Hilda and Johanna are watching the giants leave after destroying the house? And Johanna says “they haven’t even noticed what they’ve done”? And then Hilda looks down and Johanna is stepping on an elf house? Poetic cinema. Though I felt very bad for them losing literally everything like omg that sucks.

Woodman gifting them some logs looked so sweet! I really love those characters that act all tough but actually care a lot. But then I remembered that this would be the same as you and I giving someone human flesh, and suddenly I remembered why he appears in the fandom’s sleep paralysis.

So, huh, has anyone noticed that when Woodman answers “For you” after Hilda says “that’s very comforting” he turns his head around 180 degrees? No? We’re ignoring it? Okay.

Y’all, Twig helps them find the things that can be salvaged from the house. Don’t touch me, I’m weak :(

And *that*, my friends, is how you do a climatic ending! I mean, “they built a wall to keep out anything interesting” followed by this scene? That’s just good writing and I won’t be taking arguments on this.

Now it’s the time foooor

Wife’s episode score!

+10 for Hilda putting herself on life threatening situations

+5 for “you’re very observant. It’s unnerving.”

+2 for Alfur tapping his little feet while he waits for Hilda at the door

+2 for that pretty elf pottery we saw in the King’s castle

+5 for Hilda being judgy of everything in Trollberg

Yep that sums up to 24! That’s what we have for today, folks!

[ficclique]

Fic Clique hosts choices for our top fics of the decade - as featured in our Minisode from Jan 3rd. 

Brenna’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter (BTS) 

2018, 39k, Yoongi/Jin 

The biggest gut-punch I’ve ever felt from a character confession. The Jin of this fic has stuck with me every day since reading it. This fic examines sexuality in a way that made me feel seen & I love that.

Timeshare by Astolat (HP) 

2016, 14k, Draco/Harry 

This is sort of a stand-in for all of astolat’s drarry fic, which as a bundle are one of my top fics for the decade. They are fics that feel like instant-classics and the variety of characterizations, stories and tropes helped establish astolat as perhaps my all time favorite fic author. Timeshare won out above the others because it’s one of the fics that helped us decide to do this podcast! Thank you Timeshare! 

Top 5 picks: 

The Student Prince, by Fayjay (Merlin)

2010, 145k, Merlin/Arthur

A fic that has defined fanfiction for me. Perhaps the fic that first convinced me to love fanfiction. Something I keep coming back to and have reread numerous times. Funny, heartfelt, just different enough from the canon versions of characters. Perhaps the only University AU I will ever fully love. 

The Love Song of the North American Douchebag, by Gyzym (Star Trek RPF)

2013, 25k, Chris/Zach

If you want to hear me (and my lovely co-hosts) discuss this fic in depth, then I recommend listening to Episode 6! However, one of our listeners also submitted this as a top fic of the decade, so I’m going to add what the lovely Scout said: 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!”

Not Easily Conquered (series), by dropdeaddream & whatarefears (MCU)

2015, 117k, Steve/Bucky 

An incredibly, precise, gut-wrenching trilogy. Each part is astounding both together and apart. A devastating exploration of love and dedication. One of those fics that created a Fandom Moment. I sobbed through the entirety of part 2 when I first read it. Womb to tomb, sweetheart. 

Azoth by zeitgeistic (HP)

2013, 88k, Draco/Harry 

A stunning exploration of magic beyond JKR’s universe. A timeless coming together of two characters. A frankly genius use of a plot device (and something as simple as a school project) to foster an incredibly touching and meaningful relationship, one in which they are not able to find what they need to complete their task until they find what they need in each other.  ALCHEMY BABY! 

Honeysuckle Arch by junkshopdisco (1d) 

2015, 46k, Niall/Harry 

Perhaps the most I’ve ever related to a character in fic. The Niall of this fic lives in my heart, and I feel like reading him helps me understand myself, and everytime I come back to it I understand him better too. It’s a touching portrayal of a character coming to terms with their sexuality in a way that feels completely grounded and who is surrounded by characters who love them, even if they don’t always know how to show it. 

Nicole’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Protostellar by ninamondays 

bts, 64k, pub 2019, Namjoon/Jungkook & Taehyung/Jimin

Space, cryogenics, fate, reincarnation, class struggles, revolution, climate change, character death. Having hope is punk rock. Processing grief is a slow and ugly process. [deep breath] Have I ever felt so profoundly touched by a fic while I was reading it?

the other thing by cornfields 

hockey rpf, 16k, pub 2015, Jamie/Tyler

An absolutely unflinching look at personal accountability and internalized homophobia. What happens when your self-hatred has collateral damage? It’s about healing but it’ll fucking hurt first. Bleached out vibes. Makes texas feel very big, and the world feel very, very small. A story I’d only trust a fic author to tell.

Top 5 picks: 

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick) 

bts, 167k, pub 2018, Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung

Film noir/murder mystery meets gritty sci fi and superpowers. Everyone is morally gray. You Will sob about Kim Taehyung. A masterclass in plot. Felt like a trilogy all wrapped tightly into one fic. A kaleidoscope. An unfurling. This fic mesmerizes.

The River and the Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure 

1d, 70k, pub 2016, Harry/Niall

Dark tower au, but only technically. Makes me want to believe in the multiverse. An arid western, a sideways coming of age story, an elegy. The first time I’ve ever cried because an ending was perfect.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit

hamlet, 56k, pub 2014, Hamlet/Horatio

What else can I say about this fic. What else can I Fucking say.

(note: we discuss this fic at length during episode 5) 

All Things Shining by Askance and standbyme

spn, 142k, pub 2013, Dean/Castiel & Sam/ofc

A story about miracles. Literary as hell, with long luxuriant scenes that never drag. Masterful characterization. The thing I wanted from spn fic—connection, plot, and a fic that not only can handle the lore of the show, but is willing to expand upon it.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

1d, 95k, pub 2013, Louis/Harry

Hunger games crossover. Doesn’t just use the other fandom for setting, but entirely inhabits it. I had to stop partway through my reread because I knew I’d have nightmares, but this fic never stops hoping. Trauma is not an ending. This fic is certain of that the whole way through.

Reid’s Choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

songs from the ash, by explosivesky, 2017

Critical Role, Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, 54k, WIP (sort of)

rockstar/movie star AU 

A fantastic example of how fic can just standalone as really good original fiction. A lovingly rendered, devastating and beautifully crafted portrait of four broken people doing their best to navigate through their lives and around one another. 

delta, by sharpa, 2019

BTS, rapline ot3, 60k

What happens when you’re a public figure who gets unwillingly outed, and two people you used to love reach out to offer you sanctuary? You make Reid cry, that’s what. 

Top 5 picks: 

Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl, 2013

Harry Potter, drarry, 60k

Immediately post war, bond

It represents a lot of what I was looking for when I started really getting into Drarry fic, which was an exploration of what canon wouldn’t give me. My favorite Drarry fics have always been the ones that let them dig into their shared trauma, and while this fic isn’t the heaviest one I’ve read, I think the fact that it’s set literally hours after the Battle of Hogwarts ends lends itself well to that concept. I couldn’t have a list of the decade without a Drarry fic, tbh.

The Great Sealand Takeover, by whalehuntingboyfriends, 2015

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, ot6 (gavin, michael, ray, geoff, ryan, jack), 365k

FAHC

When I think about fics that set the standard for a fandom, this is one of the first ones that comes to mind. This fic means a lot to me because it was my introduction to RPF, and in addition to its intricate plot and fandom-constructed lore, also was a take on poly relationships and found families in a way I had never experienced before, with themes of belonging and a love that transcends typical convention.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia, 2012

Marvel, steve/tony, 15k

This fic hits a sweet spot for me where it does have some of that 2012 tower-fic nostalgia, but I also think it holds up well in terms of what I (and fandom) find so fascinating about Tony, which is all this grief and trauma that he struggles so hard to process, and the way puts himself at the center of attention to obfuscate the fact that he keeps everyone at a long arm’s length.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, by Shoshanah-ben-hohim, 2015

Hockey, Sid/Geno, Canon Divergent, 77k

& the whole series, including There is a Field, I’ll Meet You There, Alex Galchenyuk/Olli Maata, 131k

When I think about this fic I want to scream from every rooftop I’ve ever been on “please read this fic”. The way it weaves together details to provide a level of grounding and realism in what sounds like the most absurd concept for a fic just floors me. The empathy and compassion and fear in this fic just gets at the most tender parts of my heart, and the fact that it’s ostensibly a ship fic, and yet Sid and Geno spend nearly the entire fic with no communication, but instead are just holding on to the innate truth that they know about one another to get them through this crazy endeavour they’re on elevates the entire fic for me.

what comes after, by poppyseedheart, 2018

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavinseg (gavin, meg, michael, lindsay), 36k

Dystopia/Spy AU

When I first read this fic, I finished it and I put it down and then I spent a few days feeling like I was just sort of wandering around in a haze because every single thought was consumed by this fic. In addition to its impeccable worldbuilding and the tone work that it does with its setting, I don’t know that I had ever resonated so deeply with fic characters before. Reading this felt like someone had pried my ribcage open one by one and revealed the softest, most tender parts of me and then went “I’m going to write something that targets this.” This fic is an ode to loss and love, to mourning something that you once had and then hesitantly and clumsily opening yourself up to building something new, and recognizing that, impossibly, that new thing you built can somehow be better than what you had before. 

And I felt all of these things, I felt like my world had just been shattered by this new author I discovered… and then, somehow, I became her friend. Then through Nic I met Brenna, and now when I think about this fic I not only love it for being a work of art, but also for being representative of the thing that brought me to two of the most important people in my life, and that to me will always make it my favorite fic I’ve ever read.

[nekokoaa]

May I get a deaf! reader x Present Mic? I just love the idea of him slowing down his speech so she can read his lips, or him going out of his way to learn sign language? (I need more than one author to do this because he's a sweet bean, and this idea should be spread like a plague.) -Perhaps when they meet he gets offended cuz she's 'ignoring' him?-

Fandom: bnha

Character: Present Mic (Hizashi Yamada)

No warnings.

I really feel for this request because recently I watched a documentary on deaf children in Japan and it was the most empowering thing I ever watched. Those children are so inspiring. It honestly made me want to try and learn sign language, so I was really happy to write this request and I hope it represented the deaf community well. It’s in three short parts.

**Signing or other means of communication is in italics. If it’s hard to see for some of you guys, I can change it and make it Bold or just add the quotations instead.

Also, sorry that this request took so long to get out! I hope you enjoy, love!

————————————————————

I.

Hizashi’s life had always revolved around sound for as long as he could remember. From an energetic child to a raging teenager and even now, as an adult, he couldn’t imagine his life without it. It became a part of him, literally, his quirk was the embodiment of sound and his reason for being the hero he is. Silence was never an option.

Until now.

Hizashi wouldn’t call himself a flirt as he was always a respecter of women and was aware that most women hated to be randomly flirted on, so he didn’t understand what came over him when he saw you treading down the halls of U.A. It was the first time he ever saw you and it was probably the first time a woman ever made him freeze up like that. He couldn’t recall when was the last time he became shaken up because of a woman, but once you were about to pass him, he had called out to you on impulse and to his surprise, you brushed past him without a glance in his direction. Questions emerged within his brain as to why you ignored him, all he did was simply sent a greeting your way, he didn’t comment on your looks or sounded flirtatious in his speech. It was just a simple good morning.

Hizashi pondered about this moment for the rest of the day. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with his approach and later realized how rude you were for not greeting him back, especially a teacher of U.A. He didn’t know what profession you were in or your reason for being at the school, but he at least knew a simple greeting wouldn’t have hurt you.

And once again, to his surprise, he found out the very reason why you ignored him that morning. He stumbled upon it the next day while he interrupted Aizawa’s abnormally large class to inform him about a sudden schedule change for the teachers and the reason for Aizawa’s class being abnormally large was because it was being combined with another class, specifically, your class. Hizashi found out that day that you were actually a teacher for the hearing-impaired middle school not too far from U.A. You had brought your students to U.A on a field trip to inspire and learn from their students and that they can, despite their differences, become a hero too. Each of Aizawa’s students were paired with yours and was engaging in a simple activity together. Aizawa took this as a chance to introduce you to Hizashi and Hizashi, needless to say, almost froze again when you approached him. Just a glimpse of you in the hallway was enough to know that you were a beautiful woman but seeing you in front of his eyes had him wondering if this was reality.

“Nice to meet you, Present Mic. I’ve heard such great things about your work as a hero.” Those words didn’t form from your voice but from your hands in a series of symbols and the woman next to you brought them to life with her voice. He assumed she was your translator.

“Uhh…” For the first time in his life, Hizashi was speechless and Aizawa raised an eyebrow at that. But Hizashi knew he had to get the cog in his brain to work somehow, he couldn’t physically slap himself in your presence (and he sure wanted to) instead he managed to hold his hand out for a shake and his brain started to lag behind slowly. “G-Great to meet you too!” He said, rather loudly, fast even.

Although, you didn’t need your translator to understand what was said. You smiled gently, and it almost made him melt. The next, your hand met with his in a firm grip for a shake and this time, he melted. For such a firm grip, you had the softest hands in the world, smaller than his yet it didn’t falter in strength. You held a steady stare towards him and even though Hizashi’s shades covered his eyes, it was like you penetrated the material. You struck through his soul, his heart, all from a simple shake of hands. Is this what they call ‘love at first sight’? He didn’t believe in such a thing before but seeing you within his sights made it feel all the more real.

II.

Since that fated day, Hizashi had made it his mission get closer to you. He managed to get your number to “continue to plan out events with U.A and your students” but in reality, he just wanted to talk to you more. It started out as simple brainstorming session through text before it took off into casual talk. He learned that you were born deaf but had a quirk that allowed you to physically feel all types of sound waves—even the ones that average human ears couldn’t pick up—absorbed them and reflect them back onto an object.

                                        Today 1:30 PM

2:15 PM: Even though, I can’t hear it. I can feel it. It’s like a vibration. Sometimes they’re small, other times they’re large. And if I wanted to, I can use those vibrations to break something—like glass, I guess.

Hizashi’s eyes widened when he read your text, he was at his desk in the teacher’s office, spinning around mindlessly in his chair. He really should’ve been looking over some documents, but he became lost within his phone, eagerly waiting for your replies.

2:17 PM: Seriously!? That’s one hell of a quirk! You could’ve become a hero if you wanted to!

He sent the text and set his phone down only to pick it back up a minute later when he saw it lit up.

2:18 PM: I wanted to.

Was what he received and nothing else. His eyebrows furrowed at it. His fingers dashed wildly upon the screen and his thumb hovered over the send button.

2:18 PM: I came up with a new activity my students can do with your students. We should inform Aizawa.

But your message came faster, and the message he wanted to send, ‘what stopped you?’, was replaced. You changed the subject for a reason, so he wasn’t going to pry.

2:20 PM: We should talk it over a drink then! I’m free after 5!

Hizashi taut his lips. Was that too friendly? Flirtatious? Damn, he never had to think of his words this much before. He was always a smooth talker, it came to him easy, so why was it so hard to talk to you? He knew his suggestion was a shot in the dark. There was a high chance that you would reject him, but that was the key word, right? Chance. As long as there was a chance of rejection, there was also a chance of acceptance.

2:25 PM: Sure! There’s this bar in the city I like to go to. I’ll send you the address.

“Yeaaah hoooooo!!” Hizashi suddenly jumped to his feet as he howled, thrusting his fists towards the ceiling when he read your text. You said yes! You actually said yes! Is this considered a date? Maybe not, but who cares, you said yes!

Around 5 pm, Hizashi already met up with you at a relatively chilled bar in the southside of the city. He definitely wasn’t planning to get drunk, so he just ordered a beer while you ordered a pina colada. The conversation was simple between you, it started as completely work related. You relayed your ideas to Hizashi by small notebook and pen and he intently read whatever you wanted to say. You read his lips whenever he spoke, at times he had to slow down because you would miss what he said. And Hizashi, at that moment, realized how annoying it was to communicate this way. He somewhat wished he knew sign language to make the conversation smoother between you two.

The conversation shifted from work to personal as the atmosphere of the bar couldn’t help but make it so.

“So, about your quirk…” Hizashi started. He saw your eyes flicker away for a moment before they returned. “Isn’t it annoying being around all these sounds?”

You quickly turned to your notebook and wrote your answer down.

I’m used to it already. When I was little, it was the scariest thing. I remember crying to my parents about it all the time, but I came to terms with it.

“And you’re telling me, you can absorb those sonic waves and reflect them back onto objects?” You didn’t need your notebook for this. A simple smile and a nod were all Hizashi needed. “That’s pretty damn powerful, it’s kind of like my quirk!”

Well… Not really. You project your voice to a certain frequency to where it could cause someone’s ears to bleed! You started to laugh which was the most adorable thing to Hizashi. It was a silent laugh, but your shaking form and your hand that covered your large smile gave it away. Besides… I can take your quirk’s power and use it against you. The louder it is, the stronger I get! Was what you wrote, and it earned a very loud laugh from Hizashi, so loud that the other patrons of the bar glanced at you two. Hizashi didn’t care and neither did you.

“You know, we’re still accepting applications for U.A! Feel free to fill them out!!” Hizashi was expecting to see you laugh again but something about his joke struck a chord with you. Your smile dropped, and you suddenly looked away from him. You reached for your pina colada and stirred it with the straw hanging off the curvy glass.

“W-Was it something I said?” You didn’t know what he said but you felt the sound waves of his voice when he spoke. It was very distinguishable from all the other voices in the bar. There was just something about it that made you know it was coming from Hizashi. “Miss ____?” A nervous laugh after was all he could do to make the mood seem less tense. You started to write in your notebook, your knuckles protruded as your gripped your pen tightly.

Earlier today, I told you I wanted to be hero. Well, I did try back in middle school, I applied for U.A but I was denied.

“Denied…?” You avoided looking at Hizashi and kept your eyes on your notebook. You began to tap your pen against the paper like you were trying to decide your next words.

The reason why they denied me was because of my disability. They didn’t have the resources to accommodate me, so they couldn’t accept me.

Hizashi knew that U.A was harder to get accepted to back when he applied, but he didn’t think they were rejecting students they couldn’t accommodate for.

Till this day, U.A has not accepted anyone who is deaf. Which is why I’m working together with Aizawa to ensure that will change in the future. My students, some of them have amazing quirks… and It’s hard for me to believe that they can’t become heroes because of something they were born with.

“That’s… very heroic of you.” Hizashi lowered his eyes, somewhat ashamed to hear of U.A’s past faults.

Someone has to pave the way for these kids.

Silence had fallen between the two of you, something Hizashi wasn’t used to. You continued to stare at him, waiting for him to say something about the current subject, but he suddenly changed it, his eyes met yours as he spoke. For some reason, it felt as if time had stopped, seeing Hizashi so serious had thrown you off. “If there was a chance to be reborn with hearing, would you take it?”

Your eyes had widened slightly to his question, but it didn’t delay your answer. You began to furiously write in your notebook and Hizashi hovered over slightly to see your words.

I don’t regret being born deaf. It’s not my fault. It’s not a fault. It’s part of who I am… and I’m content with that. So, no.

“I can’t imagine my life without sound.” He grumbled, but you were still able to make out his words from his lips.

Most people can’t. You scribbled.

“I guess that’s what makes you strong.” You were taken aback when you saw Hizashi’s lips slowly changed into a warm smile after he spoke. His eyes behind his shades softened as they gazed upon your face and his arm propped up his head as he leaned his head against his knuckles. He might not have noticed the dreamy expression he was making at you, but you surely did.

You blushed profusely, your eyes started fidgeting between Hizashi and your notebook. You weren’t sure what to do as it looked like he completely lost himself within his head and wasn’t talking anymore. You quickly snatched your notebook off the counter and started to write with your shaky hands and when you were done, you pushed your notebook towards him and leaned your head upon your hand that covered your mouth as you shyly looked in the opposite direction.

Thank you.

III.

Hizashi didn’t know how hard it was going to be to communicate with just his hands and subtle movements of lips, but he practiced for months for this day, the day he would finally ask you out on a date. You and Hizashi talked and nearly saw each other every day, it was only a matter of time until you two start going out, right? At least that’s what Hizashi believed. He hoped he didn’t imagine all those intimate moments you shared with him for these past months. It couldn’t have been all in his head, right?

He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. He nearly knocked his shades off his head in doing so and he straightened them when they became crooked. He was practicing his sign language in front of his bathroom’s mirror for the last time until he leaves for your school.

Even though it was Saturday, you invited Hizashi to a poetry event that your students were taking part in and you really wanted him to come. How could he have said no when you looked so sweet when you asked him? Of course, he was going to go. He might’ve overdressed a bit for the occasion though, he was wearing a white suit jacket which was opened and showed his black collared shirt under. His shirt was without a tie and was unbuttoned at the top until his collar flared out slightly. He made sure to gel his hair to perfection where not even a single strand was out of place. This day had to be perfect. It had to be.

Hizashi left his apartment with renewed vigor and he made it to your school just an hour before the event started. You greeted Hizashi with a hug at the entrance of your classroom. He melted in your arms, he honestly wished the hug didn’t last seconds but hours, days even. You guided him to a chair in the front row before you left him to greet more parents that piled into the classroom. Excited smiles were on their faces when they spotted their children all sitting together at the front of the class. The children, however, looked a little nervous until you came to talk to them. You signed a bit at them and their nerves were quickly replaced with soft smiles.

Hizashi was honored to come to this event. It was definitely his first time attending a poetry session in sign language. As like anyone learning a new language, it was still hard to interpret what was being said but you helped him by giving him the written translation of the poems. He still tried to interpret it on his own, only using the translation if he had no idea what was being signed. He also had to make sure you didn’t find out that he’s been learning sign, he wanted to surprise you when he asks you out.

Poems of simple messages like nature or family were the majority but there was one poem that stuck with Hizashi. A loud voice in a silent world, was the title and by just that, he was captured by it. It was a story about the struggles of being deaf in the hearing world, a voice so loud yet silent to the world. He couldn’t help but give the poem a standing ovation once it ended. He clapped loudly and cheered, and your student bowed happily to the audience. You showed him how to cheer in sign after, raising your hands in the air and shaking them with excitement. Once he learned, it was all he did for every student, cheering with his hands rather than his voice.

“That was amazing! Your students have so much talent!” Hizashi had said once you escorted all the parents and students out of the classroom. It was only you two that remained in it. He immediately thought it was his chance. You had a permanent smile on your face and looked absolutely delighted while you were writing your response in your notebook.

Yes, they do! Thank you so much for coming! I’m so happy you came.

“You know I would!”

You smiled with flushed cheeks and looked away shyly before you moved to straighten some desks. You felt Hizashi’s eyes linger on you after you had walked away from him, you had a feeling he wanted to tell you something, but you were still feeling shy from before and continued to avoid his eyes.

“____.”

The vibration you felt against your skin was all too familiar. Straightaway you knew it was coming from Hizashi. No longer could you avoid his gaze, his hands moved swiftly and shakily but you understood every symbol that was made out by his fingers. Language wasn’t coming from his voice but from his hands through sign. You nearly dropped your notebook in surprise, bringing a hand to cover on your lips as you watched his hands.

Do you want to go on a date with me?

He had such a handsome, wide smile on his face once he was done like he was proud to be able to communicate to you with your language. He knew your answer already once he saw that warm smile he loved spread your lips from ear to ear.

Of course, I will!

[kimmysfandomblog]

Oooookay so 3, 10, 11, 12, 17, 32, 38, 39, 42 and that should be enough lol

Oh man XD Thanks so much, Chloe! I think I quite agree, it’s enough :P

I answered 3, 17, and 32 here! And 39 here!

10. Which was your favorite trial from THH?

I think that the 5/6th trial is an obvious one!It was something built up throughout the game (and it gets a bit ridiculoushow many times we hear about “MukuroIkusaba, the 16th student, hidden somewhere in this school. The one theycall the "ultimate despair."” It put’s Naegi’s and Kirigiri’slives on the line, with Naegi ultimately getting chopped off because he got soclose to the truth that the trial was a farce. And then saved, because of luck?He did a good deed and Alter Ego saved him for it? I guess Kirigiri’s optionwas more of a dream ending than anything canon, anyways, so it doesn’t matter.I remember how hyped I was, because for once no one was actually technicallyblackened… no one actually killed anyone since Sakura’s dying wish moved themthat much. I’m still not really fond of some things, like Hagakure thinkingKirigiri was a ghost in the 5th trial? And I have a few otherthings, like how they all decide Naegi was guilty in the first place. Kirigiriwas pushing them to that conclusion so she could show the trial was a farce inthe first place, and she wasn’t expecting the mastermind to cut the trial shortand lie about who killed Mukuro. I still kind of feel pretty bad about thatpart in particular, although she’s clearly super angry it turned out that way,she really didn’t want Naegi to be voted the blackened. The 6thtrial, though, I really liked the reveal of Junko, not even being the “Junko”they met, and how her face was covered in every picture… As a person whostarted off with the anime, I didn’t exactly have time to catch that particulardetail (I should rewatch it sometime honestly, see how much info was reallyleft out). The world being in an apocalypse… a little bit less exciting I guessthan the Junko reveal. And Naegi being proclaimed the Ultimate Hope was cheesy,but kind of expected and in that moment, it was empowering!

(Although it was hard not to say Sakura’s trial for thisquestion, simply because gosh I LOVE Sakura)

11. Which was your favorite trial from SDR2?

I flipflop between trials five and six, honestly XD I’llchoose the 5th Trial though for now! Trial 5 had my top threecharacters playing really important roles, and it made me appreciate Komaedaand Nanami. I was touched Nanami wasn’t really fighting the fact she wasblackened and there was a mystery to her and Komaeda that is unresolved, andeverything about the trial was a rollercoaster of emotions XD This is great forHinata’s character, as well, as he actually is able to understand Komaeda’splan. The trial breaks my heart in how cruel it was to all of the characters,Komaeda dying horrifically through a plan he made himself, and Nanami, a personso against the killing game, ended up killing someone unknowingly… and Hinatahad been so close to Nanami, and probably the closest person to Komaeda on theisland, that it’s hard not to feel bad for him, too, for his losses. Not to saythe others who died were less, just that they weren’t as close to him. And thenof ourse, the actual plan was chaoticgenius. That was a really wild ride of a trial!

12. Which was your favorite trial from V3?

The only one that really held my interest in a more positiveway was probably the fourth one! Because the rules of the virtual world meantthe creators didn’t have to defy actual laws of physics and, well, commonsense, it actually makes sense.Mostly. The one thing that I guess doesn’t is where Kokichi got the flashbacklight? Anything to do with Kokichi leads to plotholes in the story, I swear… Thatand Miu’s partnership with him is ??? Still, I found it to be an emotionaltrial because… it was really not Gonta’s fault even when it was… I really likedhim, he was really sweet.

But yeah, this trial is the only one that I’d say was a goodmurder case in V3, with the others kind of just working through chance? Pureluck? Idk, they were just so weird…

38. Which character doyou feel is too popular amongst the fans, in your opinion?

Ouma… and look, I really don’t hate him at all, but thereasons people say they like him don’tmatch up. “He’s a complex character!” No, he really isn’t… the creators of thegame explained next to nothing about him and his past. Any bit of complexity isprojected thoughts on his character. My prime example is when someone who knowsJapanese had said that Spike Chunsoft had gave a hint that Ouma hatesmurder/killing, which the translators of the game “removed,” when it waseventually proven by native Japanese speakers that there was no suchcomplicated connotation. So everyone to this day keeps spreading this rumoraround that Ouma hates murder/killing as if it was an integral part of his character.

And my honest thoughts on why people like Ouma is… becausehe likes guys and is dismissed by his classmates. He has a crush on Saihara,clearly, and might have had crushes on Rantarou and Momota. His continueddismissal by Saihara and the others serve as the base for people to project their story on Ouma, with them addingmeaning to him to make him out to be a more complex character. They willed him to be important. They ignoredthe plotholes he creates by having knowledge of things we don’t know why heknows, or having a flashback light from a room a keycard opened, which we nevergo to see where that was, or writing a complete script for Momota for the trialin the three hours he had left to live… This isn’t a complex character- this isthe creators of the game making a decision not to explain important details becausethey can get away with it, as he is a liar. The problem with a liar is that younever really know him at all. You canonly guess.

What I dislike about Ouma is the fact that people arepolicing that he is a complex character based on, well, not that much. He doesn’tgive that much, so they make up things to make him seem more complex than heis. The reasons to like him should be his personality, how silly he is, thefact that he’s a great actor… and it can be that you think you can relate tohim. But just in general, I just don’t like the hype around Ouma and peopleputting their noses up at others who have differentinterpretations of Ouma.

42.  How do you feel about the Danganronpafandom as a whole?

The Danganronpa fandom as a whole… it’s done me a lot ofgood, even with all the bad it’s done, too. Through this fandom, I came out ofmy shell. I’ve never been confident enough to write for a fandom and post it. Ihad, once, when I was in middle school, but with a fandom as large as Naruto,the work got drowned out and it wasn’t all that good, honestly, so I nevertried again XD I absolutely would never have created fanart for the fandom,either XD It was rough in the beginning, but I found my artstyle!

But most importantly of all, I’ve met some really incrediblepeople! It’s because of these friendships I’ve made that I got the courage todo more. I could write, I could draw, I could create pixel art, I couldanimate, I could run events and participate in them, I could become a part of azine, and I could mod a zine… All ofthese things I never would have had the courage to do alone. And even outsideof fandom, they would support me, validate my frustrations, congratulate me onmy victories, listen to me, laugh with me…

I met some important people who I’ll never forget. I havefriends who I hope will stick around for long past the fandom. And well, I foundsomeone I actually really love through this fandom as well ^^ (he runs eventswith me on the Hinaegi blog

I’ll admit, my active participationin the fandom is pretty weak these days with me getting sucked into playingPokemon in my free time instead… but Danganronpa’s left its mark. Even with allthe bad of fandom “discourse,” fandom drama, and some really rude people onsome rare occasions, it was worth it to have found the confidence and supportthat I did!

The fandom is far from dead, rude people may still exist,but at least at the moment, I’m pretty comfortable where I am in it with the otherpeople that have made my stay a welcome one!