#themselves and trying to emulate that is a pretty natural impulse

[frereamour]

the thing is i need an explanation for lochy's fixation on sax because the man is not only hideous he's lame as hell too. so there needs to be something there. i would settle for sax having humiliated him when they were younger and not even remembering it, but lochy holding on to the grudge and this is all a calculated plan to fuck with him.

[nblenasabrewing]

Hi. Recently, I decided to start writing my own fan fiction, and since your one of my favorite fan fiction authors, would you mind answering a few questions.How do you keep your attention on your work? How much time do you spend editing? How do you know when a story is finished? How do you write authentic relationships? How do you create the best emotions you can from your viewers? How do you really wrap it all together?

Hoo boy, okay! Let’s see if I can answer these in a good way...

How do you keep your attention on your work?

That is the hardest thing for every writer. Ask anyone when the last time they touched one of their WIPs was and it could be anywhere from last week to six months ago. There isn’t a one-size-fits all answer, unfortunately. You have to find what’s best for you. When I really want to focus on my writing, I try to emulate what I always did in school -- turned on music or some kind of background noise, closed out everything else, and just... tried to focus. I also have multiple stories with different ideas, genres, universes, etc., so if I go to open one thing and I find I’m not interested in it, I try for something else.

Some people aren’t wired that way, though. Some people need to turn off everything and basically shut themselves in a silent room to focus. And that’s okay! It really depends on what kind of environment you work best in.

Being invested in the story is also good. Don’t force yourself to write something you don’t have any interest in. If nothing’s coming, step back and take a break. Also, motivation! Hype yourself for writing. I’ll usually talk to someone about it and my ideas and get excited before I go in to write. That’s helped stir up long-dead ideas as well.

If you listen to music while you work, have a writing playlist! Something soft that you enjoy, won’t distract you with sudden outbursts of singing, but also you won’t be stopping every other song to skip. That kind of thing really takes you out of the flow.

And mostly, don’t be mad at yourself if you don’t write “enough.” I’ve had days where I wrote 50 words and days where I wrote 3,000. Be kind to yourself. Every word is good.

How much time do you spend editing?

This is a tricky one, because I constantly go back and read what I’ve written before I finish (which isn’t something I recommend). So I kind of passively edit while I’m re-reading, which is one time through. Then when I finish I’ll leave it for a day or two, then go back and change up the doc somehow (background color or font type or font color) to make it different, and the change tricks your brain into paying more attention. Anyway, that’s a second pass-through. Then I’ll one more focused reading, and skim it as I’m uploading it to AO3. So I guess that’s 3-4 times, probably a couple hours all together. And I still miss typos, because I’m not exactly a professional editor, and also it’s hard to work with your own stuff. Some people get Betas (volunteer proofreaders) to help, but I’m very much of the opinion that it’s fanfiction, and it’s meant to be fun. Nothing is fun if you’re too worried about “what if someone judges me for missing commas?”

How do you know when a story is finished?

9 times out of 10, I start a story with a certain scene in mind that I want to write toward -- for example, when I started writing Pieces, it was with the goal of getting Lena’s memory back and her facing Magica. So I wrote with that in mind, and I knew once I hit it, I was going to lose momentum on it.

The times when I write with just an idea and no scenes in mind are... interesting. Those are usually the ideas I lose steam on pretty fast, and I’ll try to revisit later to see if I can find more inspiration.

tl;dr, have a loose guideline or certain points you want to hit, etc. Even if you just start with “I want to write to this one scene”, it’ll keep you going.

How do you write authentic relationships?

This is... a little harder. I don’t do anything special, I just write and try to imitate canon. Webby is a fluffy death machine, Lena is a wanna-cool-disaster-gay teenager, the triplets are basically the Three Scrooges, etc. Not... to brag or anything, but I’ve been told I have a pretty good ability to capture characters’ voices. It’s something that comes from a lot of practice and writing a lot of different characters over the years. Writing their relationships just goes from there. 

Understanding the relationships also helps -- HDL and Webby have a very sibling dynamic, for example, so you’ll want to try and write them as siblings (one of the reasons shipping HDL/Webby just doesn’t work IMO, but anyway), or most of Lena’s relationships are lowkey antagonistic in some kind of way by nature of her personality -- she’s very sarcastic and likes to challenge things. One of my fave dynamics to write is her and Beakley because Lena is sarcastic, and Beakley is dead-ass Britishly dry, so writing the two of them seems like they should clash, but they actually fit together really well as long as you don’t make Lena too mean or Beakley too stiff. Understanding the characters and how they connect with each other really helps with writing their relationships with another.

Then, of course, there are the interactions that haven’t happened and most people wouldn’t think of like Lena and Della, and you can just do whatever the hell you want because there’s zero canon base to work off of. And again, it’s a matter of looking at the characters and understanding how they’ll react. Della is impulsive and a disaster, but she’s also extremely motherly and would probably take one look at Lena and go “this one’s mine now.” Lena, of course, has no interest in having someone “parent” her, but Della is a wildcard in that Lena has no history with her, and Della has no preconceived notions. 

Does any of this make any sense?

How do you create the best emotions you can from your viewers? 

Any emotions I invoke are completely accidental XD Word choice is always helpful, though - words and descriptions can really make a difference. I guess the best way to show that is with an example:

1) “I don’t understand you!” Webby yelled, frustrated. “Why can’t you just talk to me?!”

It’s okay, but not particularly IC -- Webby isn’t really the yelling type, and there isn’t much description. Compared to:

2) “I don’t understand you,” Webby said quietly. Her eyes were on the floor, fingers fiddling with her skirt. She almost sounded disappointed -- far worse than anything else Lena could have imagined. “Did I do something wrong? Why won’t you talk to me?”

More IC -- Webby is boisterous and happy, but she also has some deep insecurities, and Lena’s inability to talk about her feelings probably hits her hard because it seems like Lena doesn’t trust her. She wouldn’t be mad at Lena for that, though -- she’d blame herself.

Also, more scene. Show don’t tell and all that. You see Webby’s insecurities through the way she fidgets, and the way she’s looking at the floor. And you get Lena’s silent reaction -- she’s upset Webby, and she’s lowkey mad at herself for it because she never wants to upset Webby.

How do you really wrap it all together?

I definitely get ten million different ideas when I’m writing something -- like seeing ten million different futures and outcomes. One of my original ideas with Pieces, for example, was to hold off on Webby and Lena meeting and have Magica attack several times before they met. But it wasn’t a sustainable idea, and at the end of the day, it wasn’t what I wanted for the story. I was more going for the idea that Lena would always care for Webby no matter who or what she was -- semi-soulmate-ish except it’s more “Lena’s feelings are always there no matter how messed up her mind is.” So having them meet under more natural circumstances was better.

Basically, know the tone you’re going for with your story, and follow that idea path (instead of veering off and going into the waters of “well what if I did this or this or this or this”). And you can totally change ideas halfway through! Lord knows I have. Just find a way to tie your concepts together

I really hope this helps, and good luck with the writing!

[leahazel]

7KPP MBTI - over-long and completely unedited meta

I’m just copy/pasting this from my notes software with no editing. If you’re brave enough to read the whole thing, more power to you. It’s about 3K words all in all.

I was in a doctor's waiting room this morning (I have the flu and I was waiting for a chest x-ray) and while I waited, I was thinking about some recent thoughts I had about D&F, and how they've changed my mind on some MBTI typings I've had for the 7KPP NPCs. I've been musing on the MBTI subject on and off for as long as I've been playing the game (first post here: https://leahazel.tumblr.com/post/126655090075/congratulations-on-the-kickstarter-also-if), and I've typed most of my own MCs and other OCs. In fact, for some of them, their MBTI and enneagram types are pretty central to their character arc.

But some characters are more well-developed than others, and some are quite difficult to type. And, of course, impressions are subjective. Since I'm fluish and too tired to actually write any fanfic (I have several unfinished), I might as well do a proper post of all my typings.

If I were at full strength, I'd so a whole resources section with links about what MBTI is and how it works. Since I'm not, I'll give the bare minimum background. MBTI is a personality typing system based on Jungian cognitive function theory. You can find everything from official descriptions written by professionals, to jokey quizzes and Tumblr memes, all over the internet. My favorite fannish MBTI account is @funkymbtifiction. I love their character typings and I rely on them for nuanced takes on the different types.

Without getting too much into my typing philosophy, here are the 7KPP NPCs, grouped somewhat arbitrarily.

Introverted sensing types

The four types marked SJ use the introverted sensing function as either their primary or auxiliary cognitive function. Stereotypically, Si-using types are hidebound, dutiful and traditional, reliable but also stubborn and rigid. Certainly unhealthy SJ types act like this a lot of the time. More mature, healthier people of the same types have access to all of Si's strengths -- an eye for detail, conscientious work ethic, a strong sense of honor -- while being aware of their weaknesses, and compensating for them.

ISTJ - Cordelia and Jasper are both ISTJ types. They share some of the same strengths and vulnerabilities. Both are very emotionally contained, but have difficulty expressing affection openly. At the same time, they have a strong moral compass and inner sense of right and wrong. This is typical of the Te/Fi function pair in the secondary/tertiary positions. Both of them have personal dilemmas and character journeys revolving around the tension between tradition and novelty. When frustrated or at a loss, they're prone to retreating into loops of rumination (Si-Fi loop), or spiraling into anxiety about future possibilities and everything that can possibly go wrong (inferior Ne). Cordelia is the more stable of the two. When we meet Jasper, he's already in the midst of a personal crisis. I suspect Sayra is also an ISTJ and generally write her with this type in mind, but not enough is known of her to pin her type down.

ISFJ - Penelope and Ria are both ISFJ types. Both of them are kind, gentle and helpful as ISFJs often (stereotypically) are, and are prone to putting other people's needs ahead of their own, as Fe-users often are. ISFJs thrive on the power of friendship and community, and excel at promoting harmony for the benefit of all. Disharmony, cruelty and rudeness make them anxious and upset, but they also possess hidden reservoirs of both fortitude and courage, especially in defense of others. As Si-users, they have a keen appreciation for the aesthetics of small, everyday details, and as Fe-users, they feel a strong need to put up a persona that reflects what others expect of them. When their desires are at odds with group harmony, they can struggle to assert themselves. Both Penelope and Ria have character arcs that show them to be strongly motivated by a sense of justice and fairness, being stronger than they initially appear to be, and willing to come into conflict with established mores when necessary.

ESTJ - General Falon is an ESTJ, and I believe he's the only one out of the characters I've named here (there are some characters that I don't feel I know enough about to type). As Falon is a minor character and not very well-developed, he adheres closely to ESTJ stereotypes and doesn't provide much nuance. He's driven by duty and honor and values tradition, hierarchy and efficiency. When driven out of his comfort zone he becomes easily flustered. He has a hard time seeing things from other people's point of view, is weak at diplomacy, and his discourse style lacks tact. Many traits that are typical of the extroverted thinking function.

ESFJ - Emmett and Lisle are both ESFJ types, and both pretty typical, although in slightly different ways. Here's the controversial part: I now think Jarrod is also an ESFJ, and I'll explain why, but I want to start with the simpler, more linear characterization.

ESFJ types use extroverted feeling as their leading cognitive function. It's a powerful emotional function that excels at both reading people's behavior and intentions, and reflecting that behavior back at them. Fe-dom types, when healthy, switch handily between personas appropriate to their surroundings, they know how to read the room's mood, and when they want to influence people, they know how to form an argument that's tailored to their conversation partner. On the downside, Fe-users can get lost in their masks or lose sight of their own goals, because they read other people's desires so readily. When supported by Si, introverted sensing, their desire for stability and continuity can hinder them from considering the possibilities of positive change. They can be cautious to a fault. Lisle is a typical ESFJ and his difficulty in opening up about negative emotions can be attributed his the Fe-driven desire to promote social harmony above all. Emmett does not initially seem like an SJ type or a J type at all, because judging types are not usually perceived as being as open-minded and easy-going as he is. This however is more of an adaptation to the circumstances his family life thrust him into, not by his own decision, and Emmett several times expresses a desire for a more stable home and family life.

Now, about Jarrod. On the face of it, his behavior is more consistent with a thinking type than a feeling type. He has no patience for anything soft or tender, he's quite aggressive and demanding, comfortable handing out orders. These are behaviors associated especially with extroverted thinking, which would make one think he should be an ESTJ or ENTJ. Likely ESTJ, since he shows a clear preference for a stable subjective sensory environment, typical of an Si-user. In fact, I'd initially typed him as ESTJ and I was comfortable with that typing until recently. However! You can't type a character based only on a type's weaknesses. If he's really an ESTJ, he should have an ESTJ's strengths, too. Looking at General Falon, he might be hidebound and inflexible, but he's also hard-working, efficient, and has the kind of natural air of authority that's so useful to a general. Jarrod yells at servants, but struggles to get them to obey his orders. He's not very organized or efficient, and can't manage to wake up on time even with a battery of servants at his disposal. The only sphere he shows any discipline in at all is his physical training. He's... not very smart, and his week one dialogue shows a lack of basic strategic understanding, quite aside from being tragically ill-informed. Jarrod doesn't act like an ESTJ, he acts like someone trying to be an ESTJ and failing, badly.

In MBTI circles, a lot is made of statistics that show that thinking types are disproportionately men, and feeling types are disproportionately female. This affects a lot of people's self-typing, because it introduces bias. Gender norms in the 7KPP universe are based on our own, and while we haven't seen a lot of direct evidence of the idea that men are inherently more logical and less emotional than women... it's not implausible that this belief is just as common in the Seven Kingdoms as it is in reality. Jarrod's particular flavor of "rationality" looks a lot more like the rationalization of a feeling type, in the grip of his inferior thinking function. The Si/Ne function pair still fits, and so ESFJ is my conclusion. I would elaborate and say that the mimicking abilities  of extroverted feeling as a dominant function are especially suited to a young person attempting to emulate a stronger personality in order to gain acceptance and social cachet.

...Wow. That was long.

Extroverted sensing types:

SPs, sensing perceiving types, are very different from sensing judging types. The sensory cognitive function they use is extroverted, less subjective and personal than Si, more grounded in external reality. This makes them more flexible but also more disorganized. Part of the reason why so many cast members are Si-users is because the Summit itself is such a socially rigid environment, where perceiving types in general are less likely to fit in. Se-users especially are more impulsive and that's reflected well in the two main SP types in the cast, Hamin and Anaele. Both of them struggle with the strictures of the Summit's schedule and rigid behavioral codes, and are constantly seeking outlets for their enormous physical and social energy.

Aly has said explicitly that Hamin is an ESFP, and that tracks. His superficial behavior is driven overwhelmingly by the demands of the energetic Se function, which demands a lot of attention and forms most of his public persona, his reputation. His quieter, more hidden side is emotionally driven and has a strong moral core looking for an outlet, both in terms of his desire to do right in the world, and in terms of his strong interpersonal relationships. Subtler still, you can see the signs of his tertiary function, Te, in his leadership ability and his efficiency in accomplishing tasks -- as long as he deems them important enough to be worth his attention (Fi-Te). Thinking about the future makes him anxious, because his future-oriented inferior Ni function is weak and under-developed. That's the main thrust of his personal character arc.

I went back and forth on Anaele, but eventually typed her as an ESTP. ESTP and ESFP types can appear similar some of the time, simply because the leading function is so extroverted it can overwhelm the expression of the auxiliary function, especially in public. Ana's Ti function isn't always super obvious, but her tertiary Fe is evident in her constantly struggling with the idea of social consensus and social responsibility. Her reputation and the reputation of her warriors is important to her, as is Skalt's standing among the kingdoms and her standing with her mother. At the same time, she resents the need to fit in and to conform herself to other people's ideas about who she is and how she should behave. She also has some of the positive aspects of tertiary Fe, she can be charming and reassuring and supportive, and generally has a good grasp of how to influence the mood of the room, when she's willing to put in the effort. Her insistence on speaking with Skaltic cadences even though she knows they sound wrong to the speakers of the common language is exactly the kind of stubborn oppositional behavior typical of ESTPs who like to provoke a reaction, without necessarily thinking through what they're provoking.

Jaslen and Blain are also probably ESP types, but I'm not confident about their typing, at least not enough to pin a specific type.

Introverted intuition types:

NJ types are targets for all sorts of stereotypes and mystification in MBTI communities. In fiction, they often appear as extraordinary characters, world-changing types, great heroes or villains or even mentors. The Ni function is described as being big picture oriented, very abstract, intuitive and futuristic. Judging intuitives sometimes seem to be reaching for "a target no one else can see", which is probably why they're often seen as being intellectual or artistic geniuses. Or, at least, really good at faking it. NJ types in the 7KPP universe are usually characters who are hiding important secrets, mostly about things bigger than themselves. They're driven by great conviction and not easily derailed from their plans.

ENFJ: Aly has stated that this is her type and also Clarmont's type, and in fact a significant part of his characterization seems to revolve around it. Feeling types are more ethically-driven than thinking types, at least stereotypically, and Clarmont is not an exception. He has a vision for the future that he's willing to sacrifice for. He has deep convictions, but he's also able to dine and dance with his mortal enemies, without betraying his true thoughts or feelings. In fact, he so excels at hiding his intentions that the Matchmaker makes a point of remarking on it.

INFJ: Look, I know I just said that feeling types are ethical, but the prototypical INFJ in the 7KPP verse is Gisette. It's easiest to explain by contrasting her with Avalie. Both Gisette and Avalie show certain common traits: they are contained, composed, ambitious, manipulative, and unscrupulous. They both know how to pull people's strings and like peeking inside people's heads to see through to their true intentions. The difference is, the way they do it is different. Avalie is a thinking type, and she operates like a chess player. She sets people in scenarios that cause them to reveal themselves. Gisette is an INFJ, and her auxiliary function is extroverted feeling. To execute her grand vision (Ni), she manipulates people through social convention, using gossip to tear down reputations and carefully curating her own public image. Gisette's weak one event is absolutely typical of an amoral FE-user. She doesn't hesitate to use the power of social convention to position people according to her needs. He tertiary Ti function shines through in her tactical thinking skills, and her inferior Se function is apparent in her love of fashion, as well as her ability to pounce on opportunities when her carefully laid plans go awry.

As a side note, I believe that Countess Yvette is also an INFJ, but it's harder to gather evidence for it, since she has a fairly minor role, all in all.

INTJ: Avalie and Woodly are both INTJs. INTJ is often touted as the chessmaster type, and it makes perfect sense as a type for people who prefer pulling strings in the background, as opposed to openly passing out orders, like General Falon. Not much more to be said about that, except that the manifestation of INTJ functions can be affected by social convention. Avalie is an attractive young woman and Woodly is an older man who is much more socially established, and naturally this affects how agreeably they interact with others. Thinking types are not stereotypically known as being particularly polite or graceful, in the social sense. But, the introverted intuition function is very calculating, and the extroverted thinking function is results-driven. With time, a woman with a TJ type can learn to mimic behaviors that create the illusion of the feminine softness that's expected of her. Avalie in particular does this very well.

ENTJ: My second controversial typing, I insist that Zarad is an ENTJ. The persona he puts up is that of an ESFP, like Hamin, but as his opening narration says, no one whose reputation is that consistent can be exactly what he seems. Zarad's public persona, that of the careless flirt and black sheep, is a bit too much of a textbook description of an ESFP. It lacks the depth and nuance of Hamin's internal conflict. Putting up an elaborate facade for years on end is not something that an Fi-user, like an ESFP, is typically proficient in. A judging type is more likely to succeed at this, specifically either an Fe-dom or a Te-dom. The reason why I zeroed in on ENTJ for his true type, is that ENTJs and ESFPs have the same cognitive functions, but in a different stacking. This commonality would allow Zarad to more effectively access the thought process that would be typical of the type he's assuming -- it's all there under the surface, it's just not his natural, instinctual behavior. I also think part of the reason that he and Hamin collaborate so well is that they're not the same type, but rather they complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. The confounding factor is that the difference between Hamin and Zarad is not just in type, but in environment. Hamin definitely couldn't maintain the type of long-term deceit that Zarad engages in, but maybe an ESFP who was raised in the secretive and backstabbing Corvali imperial court could.

Extroverted intuitive function:

The only NP type in the cast, as far as I can tell, is Lyon. He is canonically an INTP, which Aly has confirmed is based on several of her family members. His introverted thinking function fixates on the idea of an internal, consistent and logical inner world, at the cost of interacting with the messy and subjective outer world. This causes him to rationalize emotional behavior patterns and close himself off. As part of his character arc, the auxiliary function of extroverted intuition opens up possibilities for him, because what Ne excels at most is offering up lots of alternative explanations based on existing parameters. For example, "what if not everyone hates me?" or, "what if sometimes things actually go right?" I'm being sarcastic about this because I'm an Ne-user myself, so I'm allowed.

Odds and ends:

Minor characters like Imogen and Mrs. White don't have types, because we don't know them well enough. Specifically, we don't get to contrast their typical, healthy behavior with their behavior under stress. Kade, Leala and Greer don't yet have types or enough characterization for typing, but based on my intuition and what I've learned about Aly's writing, I have preliminary predictions. Leala is probably an ESFP like Hamin. Greer is most likely an INTP, or else possibly an ISTJ or even ESTJ. I would guess that she's an introvert, but as her leading function is definitely a thinking one (as her blunt speaking style reveals), Te-dom is also a possibility. Kade is a bit of a wild card, but I'm placing bets on either ISTP or ENTP, just for the sake of novelty.

Among my own problem princesses, I have an assortment of at least three quarters of the types. Least represented are the FP types, excepting Princess Felicity, who's an ENFP, and widow Selene, who's an ISFP. If you add in the supporting OCs, they really run the gamut.

[borntorun75-blog]

Top 30 Underrated Springsteen Songs: #28. Meeting Across The River

Born to Run (1975)

“Tonight’s gonna be everything that I said! She’ll see this time I wasn’t just talking...”

Nestled in between Born to Run’s grander and more famous epics hides the beautiful, cinematic “Meeting Across the River”, one of Springsteen’s most tragic songs and finest sketches. More thoughts below the cut.

As I say up above, if there’s one Bruce song that can most be described as cinematic (maybe alongside Jungleland), it’s this somber, noir-esque portrayal of a man as overconfident as he is desperate, his buddy Eddie, and his massive gamble to try and make enough money to win back his girlfriend Cherry. (Is there any more perfect name to put in a song like this than “Cherry”?) From the very first seconds of the song, the absolutely beautiful piano and trumpet set the perfect atmosphere for this tale. The music of this song creates a world of its own, a movie begins to play out every time I hear it - I wish I knew how to do it justice. It truly feels like watching a movie: part of me wishes someone would make a film based on this song... but part of me knows that it’s unnecessary, because the lyrics tell a complete story on their own; I get as much out of this song in three minutes as I could get out of nearly any movie in an hour and a half.

I really struggled with what line to put at the top, because nearly every single one feels essential to the song being what it is, to giving a perfect depiction of what’s going on in these lives in just a couple of minutes. “Meeting” finds an unnamed narrator talking to his friend Eddie, preparing for some kind of deal with a criminal on the other side of town... but as the song goes on, it becomes increasingly painfully clear that these guys are way, way out of their league. We’re shown pretty quickly that they haven’t dealt with criminals like this before (”Hey Eddie, this guy, he’s the real thing...”) - and we’re then shown that they’re incredibly poorly-equipped to: Eddie needs to be reminded what a dangerous situation they’re going into, with the narrator reminding him to “stay cool” and above all else not smile; they’re not even dressed right for the deal; the narrator tells Eddie to stuff something in his pocket so it looks like he’s carrying a gun. These guys are dealing with a dangerous criminal on the other side of town and don’t even have guns. With all of these details, the somber music, and the fact that this is a Bruce Springsteen song, there’s... really not much question about these two inexperienced would-be criminals’ fates. And the narrator’s motivation is nothing more than trying to scrape together a couple thousand bucks for his girlfriend.

What makes the song truly tragic, though, is that they don’t even realize what mortal danger they’re putting themselves into. The narrator is walking straight into his own death with nothing but confidence. In the closing lines of the song, we hear him tell this time, he’s not just talking - and it’s that “this time, I wasn’t just talking” that adds the most depth: if there have been other times where he promised Cherry a bunch of cash - and he recognizes it - that paints him as an excitable, maybe impulsive, but fundamentally harmless and ultimately self-aware guy who’s prone to talking a big game and not delivering, who attaches to whatever big ideas he can, but who realizes he does so and does it with good intentions. His flaws of getting a little too cocky or promising more than he can follow up on seem almost charming (especially in conjunction with the rest of what we can glean about his personality - but more on that in a sec), and his awareness of those flaws show us that he really is a good guy. And he plans on the titular meeting being his big break, being the one hare-brained scheme that’s going to finally redeem him for all the others and win over Cherry... when we know that it’s absolutely, absolutely not, that he has no idea how serious his situation is.

He believes he’s taking proper precautions, he’s aware of some level of danger - but he doesn’t fully appreciate the extent of it. He may recognize that Eddie needs to change his shirt... but he thinks that a simple change in outfit will be enough to effectively make him and his buddy hardened criminals, and that they’re just one appropriate shirt away from “style.” And even the way he describes the danger still has the same overconfidence - there’s an awe to all of this, from the beauty of the guy’s opening “Got a meeting with a man on the other side...”. When he says “This guy don’t dance...”, I see it being delivered almost with a smile, or holding one back - I feel like it shows that, as aware of the danger as he may be, he’s still naive enough to find something romantic and appealing about it.

At times the way he talks dips almost into cliches - but I think that’s because he’s so inexperienced (again, no guns) that he doesn’t even know the difference between those and reality. Hearing him say “This guy don’t dance... Here, stuff this in your pocket: It’ll look like you’re carrying a friend...” - the delivery of those lines just makes me highly doubt that this guy has ever spent much time around people who were actually carrying guns. So ultimately, the image I have is of a guy who thinks he’s properly accounting for the danger, but who at the end of the day is still cocky and/or naive enough to think the whole thing is like some cool action movie, a movie where he’ll escape without a hitch and toss the money onto the bed without a word, cool as any star from the silver screen. The cinematic sound of the song fits perfectly with the ~slick~ nature of the lyrics - which in turn fits perfectly with the guy’s delusions, with the idea of him as a man who basically sees this actual criminal act as equivalent to a movie in which he’s the perpetually unharmed protagonist and who’s just emulating how he thinks things like this work.

Another sad layer is the way this guy, who’s clearly kind of awestruck by the ~romantic danger~ of the whole thing, sees himself as the cool, composed one. He’s the one telling Eddie “stay cool”, “don’t smile”, “change your shirt” - giving all this info as if he’s been around this block countless times before... when we can tell perfectly well that he can’t and that in terms of actual experience, there’s absolutely no disparity between him and Eddie. Neither one of them are prepared for what’s going to happen.

There’s so many little ways in which this guy is set up as overconfident, as oblivious about the danger he’s getting himself and his friend into. The clearest and biggest display of overconfidence, though, is the direct “Tonight’s gonna be everything that I said!”, immediately preceding his image of the night ending like the final scene in a movie.

So overall, Meeting is a really interesting song that sets the stage for a tragic, explosive conclusion - but doesn’t actually provide it. It’s a song that simply portrays a man’s romantic delusions about the nature of the criminal world he’s jumping way over his head into - cutting off before those delusions are shattered and he’s brought down to Earth in the most crushing fashion imaginable with no opportunity to learn from his fatal mistake, leaving us to fill in those gaps and picture the story’s obvious ending ourselves. If you just listen to what the guy’s telling you, you’d have no reason to think he’s out of his element - but if you pay attention to what he’s showing you, you know exactly where this is headed.

This is one of my favorite songs on the list, easily. The reason it does rank higher is because I know some diehard fans do love this song and many get excited when it’s played live, there’s definitely a decent amount of respect for this song among people who know it well... but basically, I think there should be even more - and I think it should be less of a deep cut to begin with. For a song on Born to Run, this should be way better-known than it is! And it doesn’t get enough credit for its incredibly powerful contribution to that album. When people do talk about this song, they often (not always, but often) talk about it in conjunction with Jungleland - but it’s more than just “a precursor to Jungleland”. Even if Jungleland had never been written, Meeting would stand as some of Bruce’s most convincing songwriting with some beautiful instrumentation that makes it feel truly unlike just about any other Springsteen song you could find. I think this song, in itself, belongs right up there with The River and nearly on the level of Racing in the Street as one of Bruce’s most respected character songs. I mean just listen to the intro, to how the trumpet and piano play together, to the power in Bruce’s voice on “Got a meeting with a man on the other side...” But in spite of being a beautiful and well-told song - on the album typically hailed as his magnum opus, no less - it’s not nearly as well-known as those two and, while respected, doesn’t get as much respect as it could or should. So while it’s too popular a cult favorite to rank any higher, it’s still obscure enough and focused on little enough by fans that I think it definitely belongs on this list.

[williamsjoan]

Congratulations Gamers, Your Childhood Nostalgia is Now a Commodity

Welcome to the nostalgia loop; a hellish, real-life version of GameMasterAnthony’s birthday party where we celebrate things solely because we remember them. Like Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of Ready Player One, the last two years have revived every imaginable piece of classic gaming hardware and shoe-horned them back into the present. Whether or not we want to experience those original PlayStation games without the DualShock controller doesn’t matter– they’re here and people are going to buy them.

Video game manufacturers have learned from Don Draper that nostalgia isn’t the wheel, it’s the carousel. The end result of this is a market filled to the brim with aged nostalgic novelties, a treasure trove of small boxes to fit under your television and relive any part of the past. Your past experiences are no longer cherished memories: they’re commodities, and they’ll be sold to the highest bidder.

It’s not just the PlayStation Classic, either. The whole gang is here: NES Classic, SNES Classic, C64 Mini, SEGA Genesis Flashback, Atari Flashback, NEOGEO Mini, Mega Drive Mini, and more. Of course, that laundry list doesn’t include the Atari VCS (Atari’s latest attempt to rebrand itself) nor does it include the Intellivision Amico, Tommy Tallarico’s attempt to bring the Intellivision brand back into the console market. By all accounts, the creators of these nostalgic set-pieces have looked into the future by channeling the past.

In a sense, it feels that every attempt to bring classic games back into the cultural marketplace is some bizarre, masochistic penance for the way that older games were treated in the late 1990s and early 2000s. After all: as soon as the N64 and PlayStation were able to bring three-dimensional games into consumer’s homes, the combined critical and cultural milieu of the era soured on the previous generation of pixel-art, two-dimensional games.

While allegations that Sony Computer Entertainment America (SCEA) had a secret anti-2D bias are often overwrought and exaggerated, it’s no secret that there was a quiet consensus that 2D games were seen a vestigial part of the entire video game medium. According to some twenty-one-year-old reporting from IGN, SCEA originally refused to release Mega Man X4 on the PlayStation, with rumors speculating that SCEA disliked the game’s 2D nature. These assertions are echoed in a fourteen-year-old interview with Spong when (then) SNK Director Yoshihito Koyama stated, “Sony just isn’t interested in 2D games anymore – whatever it might be…and yet many games, as long as they are in 3D, trickle through all the time.”

Of course, monolithic publishers like Sony and Nintendo weren’t the only ones to view two-dimensional games like soon-to-be-forgotten relics. Gamers themselves and those in the critical sphere often talked about classic-style, 2D games like they were some holdover from a forgotten era. When reviewing 1997’s Mischief Makers, the first 2D release on the Nintendo 64, IGN’s Matt Casamassina wrote, “2D fans find a lot to like, but most people will want to rent this game only,” and, “The 2D graphics are fast and colorful, but look dated most of the time.” In fact, Casamassina uses the term “2D” eight times in his less-than six-hundred-word review and also stops to call the Nintendo 64 “king of 3D game machines.” While Casamassina (rightfully) never knocks Mischief Makers for being 2D, he still writes about the game like it’s a something of an oddity, the same way that a modern critic might write about a silent movie.

“Those in the critical sphere often talked about classic-style, 2D games like they were some holdover from a forgotten era.”

That being said, not every critic was as diplomatic as Casamassina. While Casamassina’s review of Mischief Makers was able to parse through the game’s art style, other reviewers found less to enjoy about classic, 2D graphics. IGN’s review of 1998’s Skullmonkeys (written by Adam Douglas) claims that developers making games in 2D were simply “lazy,” writing:

“Now it’s the late ’90s (man, time goes fast) and we’re squarely ensconced in 3D games. Yeah, I know there are some of you out there who just love 2D games. ‘Eh, 2D games are better because they focus on gameplay, eh, whine, whine.’ Whatever. My whole deal is if a game is going to be lazy and be 2D, it better have some pretty damn amazing gameplay.”

Later on, in the review, Douglas ponders whether or not Skullmonkeys has “brilliantly amazing gameplay that makes up for the fact that it’s 2D” coming to the succinct conclusion, “no.”

In hindsight, the critical impulse to look down upon 2D games in the late 1990s was simultaneously understandable and puzzling. On one hand, a brief glimpse at the freedom and wonder of Super Mario 64 could convince anyone that 3D gaming was the future. Considering the sheer stopping power of Super Mario 64’s presentation and gameplay, it’s entirely understandable that people played that game in 1996 and thought it was the apogee of gaming—a lodestar that would guide all 2D games into a new, polygonal promised land.

However, at the same time, how were folks able to see look at the graphics of Yoshi’s Island on the Super Nintendo and Goldeneye 007 on Nintendo 64 and prefer the latter? It’s important to remember that these art styles coexisted—3D gaming is older than the PlayStation, which was only released a few months after Earthbound came out for the Super Nintendo (in North America). While it’s easy to get pulled into the hype and momentum of emerging technologies, I didn’t go to see Avatar in 2009 and immediately condemn 2D movies. In fact, I walked away from that experience thinking that 3D movies were kind of annoying to watch.

“How were folks able to see look at the graphics of Yoshi’s Island on the Super Nintendo and Goldeneye 007 on Nintendo 64 and prefer the latter?”

The keyword in all of this is hindsight— while I wouldn’t dare criticize Casamassina or Douglas from the comfort of 2018, that doesn’t take away from the fact that the early 3D visuals from a lot of N64 and PlayStation games simply haven’t aged well. Of course, this doesn’t really matter: the nostalgia wheel will keep turning and eventually (if not already) consumers will have a soft spot for low-resolution textures, blocky polygons, and MIDI soundtracks. Contemporary pixel-art adventures with vintage sensibilities will soon be joined by indie spiritual successors to the era of the N64, PlayStation, and Dreamcast.

Through this, a pressing question remains: if consumers truly love all of these “classics,” why did gaming try to exorcize its two-dimensional past as soon as hardware advancements brought 3D gaming to market? Why did critics, publishers, and gamers alike turn their backs on classic games only to romanticize them years later? Gaming, as a medium, has a literal love/hate relationship with its past, as old games are either scoffed at for their inadequacies or romanticized when commodified. It’s a terrific balancing act; developers and publishers are constantly channeling the nostalgia of yesteryear while simultaneously pushing the needle forward.

If anything, the launch of the PlayStation Classic should teach us that commodification is not the same as preservation. Fraught with integral emulation errors, an easily accessible debug menu, and a genuinely strange collection of games, the PlayStation Classic makes no attempt to actually, you know, preserve the classics.

Every day we move further down the nostalgia loop, closer to being nostalgic about things that were initially created to palliate someone else’s nostalgia. While gaming still has to figure out its looming preservation problem, the solution probably isn’t a slew of different set-top novelties.

The post Congratulations Gamers, Your Childhood Nostalgia is Now a Commodity by Travis Verbil appeared first on DualShockers.

Congratulations Gamers, Your Childhood Nostalgia is Now a Commodity published first on https://timloewe.tumblr.com/

[prosperopedia]

Beginners Guide to Raising a Family for Father’s

Let me start out this simple guide by giving some of my background. That seems like a good starting point. I’m going to share with you some of the things I’ve learned over the past 15-plus years of being married. I’ll also go beyond that time in history and share what I’ve learned about what it takes to build a solid family over the 40-plus years I’ve been part of a family. Neither the family I grew up in, nor the family I’m in charge of now have ever been close to perfect. That’s why I titled this the “Beginner’s Guide.”

In reality, we are all beginners. Wherever we are on life’s continuum – whether sons learning to be men, newlyweds, young dads, old dads (I think that’s where I am now), grandpas, and those who are preparing to fade off into history – there is always much more to learn than we currently know. Thank goodness, for those of faith, we understand that there will be many more years to continue working toward perfection after we’ve returned to the dust from which we were taken.

I have been blessed to the husband of an amazing wife, and the father of six children. I have one daughter and six rowdy boys. We love to travel together. We’ve lived in China and Costa Rica. We’ve traveled together all throughout the United States, some parts of Canada and Mexico, and in a few other places in Latin America. We enjoy doing music, competitive sports, and lots of other fun things. Although it’s fun to get a break from the crowd once in awhile, we generally love being together.

I think that as a family we’d score pretty well if we took one of those sophisticated tests that assess your overall happiness level, although there are too many times in my mind when I’m frustrated and yell at my kids, when I swear for no good reason, when I spend too much time watching college football instead of catching up on my list of house chores, and when I have to tell my wife sorry for doing dumb things.

We’ve been referred to by a neighbor of ours as “the family that walks between the raindrops”, but that just means he doesn’t know us well enough to observe that, like most families and people generally, we endure some significant storms, and that there are lots of moments when we have to ask ourselves, “What in the heck are we doing?” We likely have failed more than we’ve succeeded, but we are certainly in the business of trying…again and again.

In my beginner’s guide to raising a family, I’m going to point out some principles, share some stories, and hopefully provide some advice and context that might help you raise your family.

The Proclamation on the Family

I’m going to start my list of tips for raising a good family by sharing a document that has been read by tens if not hundreds of millions of people throughout the world. It was published by the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or LDS Church, the religion to which I adhere) in 1995, read over the pulpit to a worldwide audience of women by Gordon B. Hinckley, the president of the church. When he read it, President Hinckley stated that the proclamation was for not just the membership of the church, but for the entire world. In his introduction, he stated that the proclamation was issued to “warn and forewarn” the world against leaving “standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family.” He then read what has become known as “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” I will embed the video below, but I will first summarize some of its key points. Among other important assertions, The Family Proclamation states:

Gender is an eternal characteristic; boys have always been boys, and girls have always been girls, even before this life began and after it ends.

Marriage between a man and a woman is critical, even essential for raising a family.

Sexual relations should only take place between a married man and wife.

Married men and women are encouraged to have children and to conscientiously teach them to do good.

Children are entitled to be born to married parents who are faithful to each other.

Happiness comes from following the teachings of Jesus and by

God ultimately holds people accountable for not fulfilling their roles as fathers and mothers.

It doesn’t take long going through that list to get the impression that it may be slightly idealistic. However, the ideals represented in the document are ones that the most successful families, be they members of the LDS Church, other Christians, or people of other religious convictions, strive to uphold.

As I look at my own family and our commitment to living the principles found in that document, I can see clear benefits of both studying that document and living by what it teaches, regardless of what religion you are or how religious you are.

The Challenge of Raising a Family

Raising a solid, functional family may be one of the most difficult things a man can do in this life. It’s more difficult than obtaining a college degree. It’s often harder than setting sports records or achieving lofty business goals. Many times it can compete with those other ambitions. But it’s certainly worthwhile.

I’ve set and achieved educational goals. Before I got old, I sought after athletic achievement in baseball, football, and other sports. I’ve become a serial entrepreneur, and I’ve built and sold successful businesses several times. I’ve even developed somewhat of an amateur music career. All of those things are fulfilling, fun, and give flavor to life, but I would not take any of those things over my role as a husband and father.

The Perfect Family

The concept of a perfect family has changed significantly over the past several decades, especially since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, when the widespread pursuit of pleasure started eroding the traditional Judeo-Christian concept of what constitutes a family.

For those who are still committed to the traditional concept of family, the perfect family consists of a husband, a wife, and some children existing in a household where love rules and contention is overcome by bonds that are strong enough to create a unique unit of relationships that are special. The parents in a perfect family don’t get divorced. They communicate well. They adore each other. Their children are disciplined, grateful, well adjusted, not bratty.

To my knowledge, the perfect family simply doesn’t exist. I have observed families who are certainly closer to perfection than my own, but even those have weaknesses.

So while we fathers from time to time have these moments when we feel like things couldn’t get any better, we understand that we have a lot of work to do.

Here are some things I’ve seen work very well as I’ve led my own family. I hope they’ll work for yours.

What a Husband and Father Should Be

The standard for men in modern society has deteriorated quickly, leading to a time in history when expectations for adult males have settled for simply requesting that we not be too drunk too often, and that we not sexually assault women, although it permits every other sort of debauchery. It’s hard to think of a lower bar than what modern society has set for men. Our roles as providers, leaders, and heroes for our wives and children have given way to indulgence, addiction to selfishness, to pornography. A #MeToo social media hashtag is passed around millions of times daily, underscoring the failures that have surfaced in the collective characters of men in the 21st Century.

Society’s pathetic expectations for men are far too low for a man who wants to raise a decent family. Instead, we have to be better. We often have to separate ourselves from that influence. We’d be better served to turn off the television and disconnect sufficiently from that influence.

To raise a good family, a husband and father can’t get bogged down in what a depraved society has put forward as the model of a man.

Instead, a family man has to be unselfish, giving, patient, a hard worker, worthy of emulation.

The essence of raising a good family is to become, as much as is in your power, a good man.

Developing Self-Discipline

I remember several years ago when the news broke that Tiger Woods had taken a tire iron to the head from his soon to be ex-wife. She had found out about his sexual exploits, and her response was at least not surprising, if not entirely justified. In the months following the downfall of the world’s best golfer, it was broadcast that Tiger “suffered” from a thing called “sex addiction,” which apparently made it impossible for him to be faithful to his wife. His so-called affliction sounded concocted to me. The idea that a man cannot having control of his sexual urges came from fraudulent studies like those of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsley, and have been blithely accepted by and built upon by those who have come after them, until we have created a situation where our moral agency has given way to impulses and pleasure seeking. That mentality does the opposite of helping men be capable of raising functional families. When a generation of men have been conditioned to believe that they shouldn’t, in fact they can’t, control their sexual appetites, it is impossible for them to be good husbands, good fathers. Their mistakes not only destroy themselves, but they affect heavily the next generation and beyond.

The best advice a guy could take to prepare himself to get married or to reinforce his current marriage is this: discipline your sexual habits. In my religion, similar to many other Christian religions, we are strict about observing a chastity law that prohibits any sexual relationships before marriage, and that restricts sexual interactions to only the person to whom you are married. No exceptions.

Statistics and experience show that without this kind of discipline over natural instincts, there cannot be successful marriages, which also means there cannot be functioning families.

Another form of discipline seems to always come in a close second to the important quality of being chaste.The habits you develop with regard to finances can either make or break your marriage. Data relating to causes of divorce shows a high financial correlation between lack of financial discipline and divorce rates. The less financially responsible you are, the more likely your marriage is not going to last.

The takeaway: learn to be a solid earner and get on the path to financial discipline. If you need help making your way toward a financially disciplined lifestyle, I recommend the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps approach to personal and family finances.

Marry the Right Woman

I’m not a person who believes in the idea of a Utopian soul mate. For many reasons, I don’t believe that any man has been matched up by the universe with one particular person they are destined to meet and to whom they must be married to avoid living a life that always falls short of the ideal. Based on my strong belief that we all have been given our respective abilities to choose, it would be impossible to think that the one true love theory could have merit.

However, I do think that it is a highly appropriate decision for any man who’s in the market for finding and courting a potential marriage partner to focus his attention on women with whom he has similar interests and high compatibility.

Despite the popular notion that opposites attract in relationships, I have read that the best marriages tend to exist among couples who have lots of things in common. I’ve found that to be true in my own marriage. After dating hundreds of different girls at the college marriage mecca of America, Brigham Young University, I finally found one (during my third senior year) who was as committed to my religion as I am, who loved dancing and music like I do, whose family wasn’t wealthy but not too poor (economically similar to mine), who was from a culture (Texas) that used the word “y’all” like I did growing up and still do today, and who, very importantly for me, loved sports, especially football.

While I was in the dating field, until I got engaged at age 27, I often referred to Proverbs 31:10-31 in the Bible, which starts out, “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies?” I learned from those verses of scripture a lot about the Biblical perspective of what a woman should be: kind, unselfish, hard working, supportive of her husband, dedicated to her children. When I met my future wife, I matched her up against what I had decided to look for. It turns out that process worked very well.

Despite some significant differences in our families (my in-laws are Texas A&M fans, and I come from an FSU Seminoles background) our similarities have allowed us to bond successfully over more than 15 years, with many more together expected in our future.

Marrying the right person and being the right person to attract that person was obviously a critical step for me in raising a good family.

Be Fiercely Loyal to Your Wife

Once you’ve found and married a good woman, it becomes your opportunity and obligation to be unwaveringly loyal to her.

Before I was married, when I was dating around looking for someone I could fall in love with, I was like most single adults. I was flirty. I intentionally struck up conversations with girls often as a way to get to know them, often with the purpose of asking them out on a date.

To a large extent, that “playing the field” approach was backed off whenever I had a steady girlfriend, someone I had committed to in a way that meant excluding other girls. Then, whenever a dating relationship was broken off, I would usually intentionally go back to the mindset that would allow me to find another girlfriend.

When I was engaged, I was more vigilant about shutting down flirting or other attempts to attract other girls. Then, when I got married, I knew it was time to become fully committed to the girl I was now fully committed.

Too often, men will get married without conscientiously making this transition to full exclusion to their new bride. Women often make the same mistake. For a marriage to be fully functional, a man has to determine that, although he will have professional, social, and other interactions with women, his interactions with all other women will always be of an nature that is free of reproach, that never can be called into question. The Bible explains that a man “shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Attaining that kind of unity with your spouse naturally expects a high degree of loyalty.

In our personal application of this principle, this is how my wife and I demonstrate our loyalty to each other and avoid any hint of straying. We never ride in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex. In our business and other dealings, we would never go to lunch with someone of the opposite sex. We don’t go into a home alone with a member of the opposite sex. In general, we do everything practical to avoid any appearance of showing romantic interest in anyone else.

That approach has given the two of us an added layer of trust between us and has established a clear boundary that helps us to reinforce our relationship.

Many of the stories you hear about infidelity start with one of both members of a married couple not setting those boundaries of total loyalty. A man will go to lunch with a co-worker “innocently” a few times, then he finds himself involved in an affair that destroys his marriage and turns his kids’ lives upside down. Set those boundaries and commit to complete loyalty, and you’ll spare yourself and your family the pain and heartache that can never be compensated for no matter what pleasure or ego boost might come from getting attention from a woman who’s not your wife.

One of my favorite quotes about fatherhood, one from Theodore Hesburgh, captures this commitment to loyalty and the value it provides in strengthening a family: “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Whether it’s the temptation to indulge in pornography or the difficulty in turning down social opportunities, developing a fierce loyalty to your wife becomes a source of resilience in a marriage.

Learn to Be Unselfish and Deferential

A funny experience I had shortly before I got met my wife provided an epiphany and a lesson that I’ve referred back to often. While I was at a gathering of couples, most of them newly married, at my brother’s home, I walked in and asked if anyone wanted to play basketball. Being a single guy, I was surprised at their natural responses. They each immediately looked over at their respective wife, their body language asking for permission.

From that experience it was clear to me that these guys had learned that their options weren’t entirely their own now that they were married. They had to sacrifice some of their own independence for the sake of a higher cause, their marriage relationships.

I’ve found out over the decade and a half since I got married and began having kids that I have to give up whatever selfishness I had as a single guy (everything from always controlling my own time to getting a good night’s sleep whenever I wanted) and instead replace it with a commitment to doing what’s best for my marriage relationship and for the health and well-being of the entire family. Sometimes when I find myself tired and sick, I have to get out of bed in the middle of the night and take care of a child who needs help. My wife does the same for me.

I’ve heard several times with regards to marriage, it’s not 50/50. Each partner has to give 100%. That principle should be taught to kids as well, making the whole family operational as a unit instead of each of the individuals trying to figure out how to get away with giving the least that they can get away with, or to break even with the relationship. That attitude cannot last long for any one particular member of the family to be at

Selfishness kills marriage and family relationships. Selflessness causes them to thrive.

Weekly Date Night

Having a weekly date night is recommended by most marriage experts. I’ve found that scheduling a regular night with my wife each week and being committed to make that happen is very valuable for a making the family run smoothly. It allows us a chance to have a conversation without being interrupted by children or other distractions, and it reminds us to one degree of another of the time we were dating. We usually go out to eat at a restaurant, sometimes followed by shopping. Sometimes we’ll go see a movie or do something else entertaining.

During our weekly date night, we occasionally take one of our six kids with us, which gives us a chance to chance to catch up with that child individually. We normally rotate the date night schedule through all of our kids so that each has a chance to feel special and to develop their relationship with their parents.

Weekly and Daily Planning Meetings

One of the most valuable skills I learned while serving for two years as a missionary volunteer was to set aside at least an hour each week to plan and coordinate with my wife. We normally hold our weekly planning meeting Sunday nights, which seems most appropriate because it’s on the eve of when we kick off our week and implement our plans.

Besides holding a regular weekly planning meeting, we also try to catch up each night with our plans for the next day and make adjustments wherever necessary.

During our weekly planning meetings, we set and review our family goals, do calendaring for the upcoming week and beyond, create to-do lists, and essentially spiritually create what’s going to happen in the coming week.

During our quick nightly planning sprints, we check over what’s coming up the next day and make whatever plans we need to.

To make our planning more efficient, we use an online calendar. We prefer Google Calendar because of how it allows us to share calendars between our various Google accounts.

Weekly Family Night

In our family, we set aside one night each week during which we hold a family night. That activity normally is scheduled for Monday night, but it can change depending upon plans that involve sports, music events, and other activities.

Although it takes effort and can sometimes be frustrating, holding weekly family night ultimately builds unity among family members. It also creates a more formal setting for your wife and you to assess how your kids are doing, make plans together, and to teach and instruct your family.

During our weekly family night meetings, we normally sing church hymns, recite our family motto (I’ll include it below), have a religious and/or academic lesson, visit friends, do service for the needy, go out for entertainment, or take part in some other activity together.

During one of our family night meetings several years ago, we decided to create a family motto, which we recite together during our weekly  Our kids participated in creating the motto, so they feel ownership of it. This is what we came up with.

We are the Robbins family.

We strive to be like Jesus, and treat others with kindness.

We are honest and true. We are loyal to each other.

We have fun together. We are helpful and hard-working.

We never give up, or take the easy way out.

We earnestly seek after knowledge and wisdom.

We work together as a family to build our faith.

We are the Robbins family.

Consciously, Assertively Spend One-on-One Time with Your Kids

In addition to our weekly family night and our less frequent inclusion of them into our date nights, my wife and I spend conscious quality time with each of our kids. With each additional child we’ve had we’ve come to understand that there is no extra allotment of additional hours in a day, so we have to be more assertive to make sure each gets attention from us.

To spend the time with my kids that they need, I’ve had to give up other things and make adjustments. Years ago as a BSA leader, I found myself taking them on camping trips with me even though they weren’t old enough. My wife and I have taught each of my kids (including my daughter) to appreciate watching college football, so we can enjoy that activity together instead of having to give it up entirely.

Some of the major ills I see among today’s kids is a result of what I sometimes refer to as “Fortnite Parenting”, named after the highly popular, but (in my strong opinion) entirely valueless video game. Raising children doesn’t mean simply keeping them out of the way, occupied with something that is destructive. Perhaps the most effective way to develop your children’s respective abilities to become good people and to have a solid relationship with their parents is to replace their screen time (pretty much of it, except what they’re using for educational purposes) with valuable, scheduled interaction with one or both parents.

Raising A Family is Worth the Effort

I hope my little beginner’s guide to raising a family has been helpful to you. The things I listed here have worked very well for me, my wife, and our kids.

Being the head of a family has certainly been hard work, in some ways harder than I ever imagined. However, the returns are immeasurable. For those who put in the effort to create and maintain a healthy, functioning family, the effort is always worth it.

The post Beginners Guide to Raising a Family for Father’s appeared first on The Handbook for Happiness, and Success, and Prosperity Prosperopedia.

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[kayteadee]

17.) Write About Your Zodiac Sign and Whether or Not it Fits You

Cusp of Aries (April 16-22)

“Aries is a sign of initiative; a leader, with bravery, and the autonomy required to commence. Uncomfortable with inaction, Aries is the Cardinal sign of Fire, and thus is the zodiac of drive. Ruled by Mars, Aries is strongly autonomous, and can be headstrong and crass, sometimes showing an impulsive or reckless approach to issues. With the Ram as their standard, Aries tends toward obstinate and self-seeking. Jaunty and self-supporting, Aries is capable of independence. This quality may encourage others to emulate—but Aries is unlikely to pause for supporters. When Aries is found in a chart, there is enthusiasm and decisiveness”

(found here)

I have to agree that I am impulsive when it comes to decision making. But otherwise, I am pretty much the opposite. I’m a big follower though I try as best I can to go outside the lines when I notice I am not being myself. I am a coward when it comes to some things. I’m a redhead so I guess I am firey in that sense, but I just don't see myself as the “Cardinal sign of Fire” though these are all things I aspire to be. Being that I am the cusp of Aries, that makes me also the “Cusp of Power.”

“Authoritative and bold, people born on the Aries-Taurus cusp are natural born leaders. They'll take charge at work or at home, and the two signs' energies mix well for success -- impulsive Aries lends energy and pushes forward toward goals, while practical Taurus takes care of all the details.

One area to watch is that of being too forceful, and barreling right over the opinions and desires of others. Those born on the Aries-Taurus cusp can't stand to watch others do things the know darn right they could do better themselves.

How do they know that? Because they're quite opinionated! This isn't always a bad thing, it's just important to find balance, tone down all those aggressive winning instincts and learn to better respect the feelings of others.

Then the funny, helpful, strong and dependable side to the Aries-Taurus cusp will shine in its own powerful light.” (Found here)