#them to my house while they were there. so they drove me home

[whytheylosttheirminds]

Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 8 (part two)

(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 6.2k words)

series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.

tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder

series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues

⇢ series masterlist

A blood curdling shriek rang through the house, jolting Carter from her restless dreams.

She sat straight up in bed, heart racing as she looked around the dark room, head so heavy she could barely remember where she was or how she got there.

In her hungover mental fog, she pieced it together slowly. She was at the beach house, in her room, it was early, she drank so much last night and Topper said -

“OH MY GOD!” 

Another sharp scream came from downstairs, and her heart rate spiked all over again. She pulled the fluffy comforter around her shoulders and hurried out of the room, quiet on the stairs as she nervously approached the source of all the commotion.

When she saw what was inducing Sabrina’s shock, she doubled back, hiding around the corner so they couldn’t see her. Her stomach churned with bitter loathing, and something else even more nauseating…

She dropped the blanket and rushed to the half-bath off the house’s entryway, doubled over the toilet bowl as last night’s poor choices continued to haunt her.

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Rafe drove faster than he had before your interrupted rendezvous, seeming not to want to drag this adventure out anymore. You eyed him nervously from the passenger seat, searching for words that weren’t coming to you. 

Tongue tied and exhausted was not how you wanted to begin this…whatever this was between you. Rafe had given you words, so many of them, back on the beach and all he asked in return was a simple yes or no.

Are you my girl?

No four words had ever felt so heavy. The shitty part was, you wanted to say yes. At the sound of his breathless question every cell in your body was screaming yes! I’m your girl! I’ve always been your girl! 

But then there was that pesky piece of self preservation that cemented itself in your heart all those years ago and didn’t plan to give up any time soon. 

He looked so disappointed when you couldn’t give him a quick and easy answer, his chest now deflated and shoulders sunken as he drove the rest of the route home. Despite your lingering hesitation, you felt like you needed to give him something, needed to lift the frown that was settled on the lips you had tasted so many times this morning.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“For what?” He asked.

“I’m…slow,” you began, “it takes me a while, y’know? To find the words. I’m not like you, I don’t know how you came up with that speech in less than a minute.”

Rafe laughed, confusing you.

“What?”

“You think I came up with that speech in a minute?” He chuckled, “I’ve been practicing it every day since senior year of high school.”

Your heart clenched at the endearing thought of him in front of the mirror, driving to class, taking a shower all while rehearsing what he’d say if you ever gave him the chance.

“Oh,” you tucked your hair behind your ear.

It was infuriating, your complete inability to get a grip on your own thoughts and feelings around him. It had always been this way. You were well-spoken and sound-minded, until this one person was in your atmosphere, his presence your own personal kryptonite.

To be fair to yourself, it wasn’t just your own weakness for him that had caused you to build such high walls. When you were kids, he sometimes made you feel this way on purpose. He used to have fun watching you get flustered, just the right amount of flirting to send you into a tizzy, only to leave you spinning like a top with no one to stop you.

You truly tried to leave the past behind, burying it somewhere back in the sand on the beach. You reminded yourself that the Rafe of your memories was not the one sitting next to you right now. But that might just be the problem, because at least you knew that Rafe, you knew exactly what he would do next.

If he grabbed your hand, you knew he was about to drop it. If he said something sweet, you knew he was about to say something passive aggressive. If he acted like he loved you, you knew he was about to act like he’d never met you a day in his life.

But this Rafe, this new one, was completely unpredictable. Wild and dangerous in his apparent affection for you. How were you supposed to know what he did next wasn’t going to hurt? He was right about what he said on the jet ski - you won’t know until you give him the chance. Easier said than done.

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” he offered after you’d been quiet for a long time.

“This week has just been…” trying to come up with one word to describe it felt like a futile task.

“Overwhelming?” Rafe tried to help.

“Surprising,” you countered. “I’ve never been good with surprises.”

“You like to know what’s coming next,” he nodded, once again displaying a deep knowledge of you that you never knew he possessed.

Like he could read your mind, his arm stretched across the small divide and his palm, warm and soft, settled on your thigh, a single soothing stroke to let you know he’s still here, he’s still yours. The feeling of his skin touching yours was like aloe vera directly on the burn.

With a grateful smile, you leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath as he steered you home.

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Carter padded down the hall, stopping three separate times, trying to decide if she should just go back to her own room. But the sight of her frantic texts to you still saying “delivered” and not “read” was too concerning to ignore.

She opened Topper’s door without knocking.

He was sitting up against his headboard, typing feverishly on his phone. At the sight of her, he clutched his duvet cover, pulling it up higher over his nearly naked body.

“Have you ever heard of knocking?” 

“Please, like I haven’t seen it all before. Like I didn’t see it yesterday,” she rolled her eyes.

“Oh okay, so you do remember. Based on the way you were acting last night I thought maybe you’d forgotten we’d ever been together,” he snipped at her.

“I don’t want to talk about last night,” she waved him off, dismissing his complaints flippantly, “are you aware of what’s happening downstairs right now? Of who is happening downstairs right now?”

“Yes, I saw her pull up,” he returned his attention to his phone and his frenzied typing.

Outside his cracked open door, Carter heard Kelce, Tom, and a few others come barreling up the stairs, chatting about the recent arrival.

“Be so fucking for real, did you invite her?” Carter said, attempting to lower her voice.

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this but you do this thing where you think you’re whispering and you’re actually not,” Topper informed her.

“Topper…”

“No, I didn’t invite her.,” he answered. “Actually I was about to ask if you did.”

“Why the fuck would I do that? I hate her.”

“Wow alright, hate's a strong word, Carter, maybe calm down a little.”

Ever since their knock-down-drag-out at the club last night, the arguing that was usually playful and lighthearted had an edge of actual bitterness to it.

“First of all, if you ever tell me to ‘calm down’ again, I’m going full Lorena Bobbitt on your ass. Second of all, you need to go down there and tell her to leave,” she flicked her hair behind her shoulder and held her chin up as she bossed him around. He hated that despite how mad at her he was, he fucking loved it.

“How does that job possibly fall on me?” He scoffed.

“Aren’t you Mr. Team Rafe-and-my-sister? Don’t you want to get rid of the reason they stopped talking in the first place?” She reasoned.

“I’m not gonna tell her she can’t be here,” he shut her down. “It’s not my house, and it’s really none of my business. Or yours.”

Her eyes narrowed at him, “oh yeah? Then who are you texting so much over there?”

“I’m just giving him a head’s up,” he shrugged. “She should probably know too.”

“And you’re just assuming they’re together?” She snarled.

“Puh-lease,” he rolled his eyes, “did you see them at the club last night? There’s no way they didn’t hook up.”

She wouldn’t accept it, couldn’t, even though she knew somewhere deep in her gut that he was probably right. 

When Rafe still didn’t answer any of his texts, Topper sighed heavily, “fuck it, I don’t care if I’m cockblocking, I’m calling him.”

Before he could dial, the house shook with the slam of the front door. Carter and Topper hurried out to the hall and hesitated at the top of the steps. Your lone voice carried up to them, talking to no one in particular as you muttered, “un-fucking-belivable.”

Carter actually did whisper this time, “I think it might be too late for that…”

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The feeling of Rafe’s hand, warm and steady on your thigh, as he drove the rest of the route home was so nice and comforting, you let yourself slip into the possibility that this could actually be it. Maybe you really could just leave the past behind you, maybe you really had finally found each other and it could just be simple like this.

But your fantasy didn’t last long.

Rafe parked in the spot across the street that you had taken Carter’s car from a few hours ago. Even when he turned the key and cut the engine, he didn’t remove his hand from your leg. 

“You ready?” He sighed.

“For what?” You questioned, eyeing him curiously, his face serious as he looked down at the site of his hand on your skin.

He shook his head like he didn’t know the answer himself, “reality, I guess.”

You placed your hand over his, smirking at the sight of your fingers encompassing each other’s, wanting so much more from these hands and truly believing you’d have all the time in the world to enjoy them. 

“Bring it on,” you gave him a small smile.

“He leaned across the center console and dropped a deep kiss to your lips, causing you to sigh into his mouth. All the times you imagined kissing him, you never thought such a rough-around-the-edges guy would have such soft lips. You felt like you might be able to spend forever with them on your skin.

When he finally pulled away, you reached for the handle of your door, beginning to open it, but Rafe reached across your body and pulled it shut again.

“What are you doing?” You asked in surprise.

He smiled that perfect, dimpled grin of his, “extra credit.”

You giggled as he hurried to climb out of the driver’s side, hurrying around to your door and opening it with a chivalrous flair.

“Wow,” you beamed, accepting his hand as he helped you down from the tall vehicle. “You weren’t kidding about trying to be a gentleman.”

“For you, I’ll be anything,” he flirted.

Despite your best efforts not to, you blushed, the red hue on your cheeks deepening when Rafe kept your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours as you walked back to the house. It was the first time he’d held your hand out in the open like this, where anyone could look out from the windows of the beach house and see the two of you together. It was foreign to you, his public display of affection, and yet it felt so right. You couldn’t help but wish it hadn’t taken this long.

“Can I ask you something?” You said quietly.

“Anything,” he squeezed your hand assuringly. 

“Why didn’t we do this a long time ago?” 

Rafe’s face fell slightly, watching his feet as they made less and less forward progress on the sidewalk, until he came to a full stop. The question was mostly meant to be lighthearted, a tease really, but his solemn reaction made your stomach twist with concern.

“I…” he started, voice unsteady, not meeting your eyeline, “I don’t know if I should tell you this but -”

You never knew what he wasn’t supposed to tell you, because before he could, a sickeningly familiar voice called out from the front porch.

“Hey guys!”

Head snapping toward the sound, you looked up, and there she was, as stunning as ever in that same signature everything-you’re-not-ness. 

Cassie Bryant.

Her face was adorned with a glistening smile, yours was noticeably not. Everything in you sunk, including the corners of your lips, completely unable to hide the way your heart dropped six feet under the ground at the sight of her.

She was somehow even more golden and glowing now than she was back then. Glossy blonde hair flowing down her back like a waterfall of silk. Her perfect, blemish free skin glowed in the early morning light. Her big, round Disney Princess eyes quickly found Rafe and flicked over your joined hands, clocking the way they were folded together in unmistakable intimacy.

It happened so quickly, and yet it felt like years worth of hurt and heartache compacted into one small moment. 

At the sight of Cassie on the porch, Rafe dropped your hand.

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Surely, any minute now, a camera crew would pop out from the bushes and announce that you were being Punk’d.

Or maybe it’d be the Mythbusters:

The myth? That you can actually heal from your childhood trauma with just four years of painstaking hard work. Well, we’re about to prove that all of that can be unraveled in the span of 72 hours! Also, we will be using your heart as our crash test dummy. Myth busted!

You didn’t look over at Rafe, couldn’t bear to watch the way he pulled his body away from yours, ever-so-slightly, almost imperceptibly. But you could feel it all the same, and you were sure she could too. 

Before Cassie could say anything else, the front door opened behind her, Sabrina stepping out of the house and taking in the unfolding scene on the lawn.

“Oh shit,” she laughed, “this is awkward!”

It’s like her main goal in life was to find new and creative ways to make your bad moments worse.

“Is it?” Cassie asked, seemingly unaware of the cause of Sabrina’s laughter. “We were just saying hi.”

She caught your eye as she said it, a polite but knowing smile on her lips. You realized with shock that she absolutely knew what was happening and was trying to make you feel better about it. You should just be grateful for the unexpected kindness, but something in you was suspicious. The Cassie you knew would’ve jumped at the chance to embarrass you, and she would’ve loved the way Rafe was treating you like you had the plague.

Plus, her taking pity on you, acknowledging the way Rafe had just hurt you, was somehow worse than her just being mean to you. You’d rather she go back to that.

“Y’all having a good trip?” She asked you and Rafe when the silence had lasted just a little too long.

You looked to Rafe, waiting for him to answer, begging him silently to say something that indicated that you were in fact having a good trip…together.

But he just said, “it’s been cool. Weather’s shit, though.”

“Yeah that’s what Sab told me, but I got a few days off my internship so I thought I’d come hang with y’all,” she said, eyes on you as she spoke, like she owed you an explanation.

“Well, welcome, then,” you smiled a polite smile that didn’t meet your eyes.

“You ready?” Sabrina asked, linking arms with Cassie, thick as thieves. 

“We’re going into town for some brunch if you guys want to join,” Cassie offered.

“That’s okay, I need to check on Carter,” you declined, all eyes turning to Rafe for his response.

“Uh yeah, I’m good here, th-thanks,” he stuttered, so awkward and shaky, a completely different person from the guy who was delivering monologues and sweeping you off your feet just a few hours ago.

Cassie just smiled politely once more as Sabrina pulled her into the car. As they drove off, you stood wordlessly with Rafe on the front walk, your chest completely hollow. You mustered some nerve and finally looked at him, head tilted, a completely unamused smile tugging your lips.

“Weather’s shit?” You repeated his words back to him.

“Look…” he began but didn’t finish the thought.

You just laughed humorlessly, shaking your head at him as you stormed off toward the house. Rafe stood frozen for a moment, kicking himself mentally and begging his brain to catch up with the moment, finally rushing off after you, but not able to before you slammed the door in his face.

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Carter and Topper exchanged nervous glances at the sound of you stomping into the house. 

They slowly and quietly settled on the top step, sitting forward to listen in as the front door opened and closed again, Rafe’s voice echoing through the house.

“Wait…” he said, following after you as you marched further into the house toward the kitchen.

You didn’t stop, “No, go ahead, you should go to brunch with her. Don’t let me keep you from a good time.”

“Wait, let’s just talk,” he pleaded.

“I’m too tired, Rafe,” you rejected him. “I can’t do this right now.”

“So you’re not even gonna let me explain?”

At the top of the steps, Carter and Topper simultaneously held their breath as they listened, both jumping as Kelce’s voice startled them, “what are we listening to?”

“Shhh,” Carter waved her hand at him, motioning for him to shut up.

Kelce plopped himself between them on the top step, shuffling a bit so they’d make room for him. He listened in, picking up your and Rafe’s raised voices quickly.

“Oh shit,” he barely whispered, “trouble in paradise already?”

“Dude shut up,” Topper cut him off.

Soon, Maddie, Tom and Jack joined the little huddle on the top step, each cluing in on the source of the entertainment in their own disruptive way before being shushed by the group and eventually sitting. You continued your argument with Rafe, completely unaware you were performing in front of a live studio audience.

“You don’t need to explain,” you told him, trudging down the front hall toward the kitchen. “I know exactly what just happened because it’s happened a thousand times before. What I don’t know is why I’m even surprised.”

“Come on,” he caught up to you, stopping you in your tracks as his large frame rounded you. “It is not the same as it used to be.”

“It’s exactly the same,” you side-stepped him, walking into the kitchen and dropping Carter’s keys on the counter. “I mean jesus Rafe, it’s the same fucking person! I can’t believe I’m here again, it’s like I’m having a nightmare where I’m back in high school. Next thing you know I’m gonna walk into homeroom and I realize I’m completely naked.”

“Sounds more like a dream to me,” he smirked, trying to flirt.

You just blinked back at him, your sharp eyes cutting straight through his head.

“Do you think this is funny?”

His smirk dropped, snatched right off his lips by your ice cold tone. Good. You’d been waiting years to wipe that shit eating grin off his face. 

Something new was rising in your chest, knocking out the embarrassment and sadness with a closed fist, a fury long buried coming back with a vengeance.

“I thought all that shit was behind us, over and done.” Rafe reached out towards you but you stopped him with your own rough grip, lowering his hand away from you and dropping it like he’d dropped yours.

“Oh, it’s fucking done alright, so fucking done,” you spat.

 “You’re really gonna let ten stupid seconds ruin everything that’s happened between us? You’re not even gonna give me the benefit of the doubt. You really think that little of me?”

“It’s literally only been two hours, and you’ve already lied to me once and pushed me away the second someone saw us. And you wonder why I'm having a hard time saying yes to being with you? It’s because I fucking can’t trust you, Rafe!”

“I don’t know what else I can do to show you I’m different,” he threw his hands up in exasperation. “This is so fucking unfair.”

“Are you being fucking serious right now?” You stepped towards him as you snapped at him. “You’re actually pissed at me?”

“Yeah, I am!” 

“Why?”

“Because I lost my best friend!”

Everyone on the top of the stairs winced, air sucked from the room when Rafe raised his voice at you. For all his flaws and mistreatment, he had never raised his voice at you before.

“Oh shit,” Kelce whispered.

“Shhh!” Carter and Maddie hushed him in unison, everyone leaning in a little closer to hear how you’d react. But you said nothing. They couldn’t see the widening of your eyes, jaw locked tight as you gave him space to follow up on his outburst.

“Do you really think it didn’t hurt me when you just up and stopped talking to me back then?” He took the space you gave him and slowly unpacked the hurt feelings he’d buried for years. “I know I was a dick, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of how you felt about me, I shouldn’t have strung you along. But when that shit went down senior year and you just ghosted me, I wanted to talk to you and make it right. I tried, but you blocked me out, you went from talking to me every day to radio silence without giving me a single explanation. That fucking hurt. And you’re doing the exact same thing now, not even giving me a chance to explain things. So yeah, I am a little pissed. I’m pissed that you’re just gonna throw it all away again over nothing.”

He waited for your response with baited breath, prepared for you to yell, or cry, or do something. But you gave him nothing, mouth closed in a tight line as you turned on your heel and walked further into the kitchen, lifting the coffee pot from its home and filling it in the sink.

He watched your back as you scooped the grounds into the filter and turned on the machine. Minutes passed and you remained silent, hands on the counter, looking out the big window towards the ocean while the coffee brewed one drop at a time.

Finally, after eight cups had dripped into the pot, you spoke.

“How was prom, by the way?” You turned to face him, the edge of the marble countertop digging into your waist as you leaned back against it, hands crossed in hostility over your chest. “I never asked.”

Rafe’s gaze fell from you almost instantly. He didn’t have to ask why you were bringing this up, the ‘hell hath no fury’ look on your face dragging the memory forth from its carefully hidden spot in the back of his brain. Nothing made him feel like a jackass quite like that memory, and based on the mocking curve at the corner of your lips, you knew it.

The memory used to keep you up at night. 

For a full year after it happened, it was like a fire poker bent into the shape of regret and shame was branding your heart over and over. 

Now, the burn was healed over, still calloused and red at the edges, but you’d done your best to cover the scar tissue in the healing balms of self-love and lots and lots of therapy. Still, it was the moment in your life you were the least proud of.

You’d thought it was gonna be you. Really, earnestly, completely delusionally, you believed when he asked for your help with his grand prom-posal that it was all a playful ruse to ask you to be his date. You stayed up all night, decorating three different poster boards with glitter glue so he could pick the one he liked best. You bought out all the battery-powered candles at Michael’s - he said he’d pay you back, he never did. You waited with him in the park until the sun set, giddy with the hope that he’d drop the ruse and pop the question any minute.

“What will you do if ‘she’ says no?” You attempted to flirt.

“I guess I’d just have to take you.”

Every muscle in his body flinched at the memory and the white hot regret he felt every time it replayed in his head.

The kid who said those words was such an asshole. Standing here in the kitchen, looking down at you, the love of his goddamn life, and facing the possibility that he might lose you for good, he wanted to ring the idiot’s neck.

Because he hadn’t asked you. He made you watch while he asked her. And he didn’t even give you a ride home from the park.

Fuck, he wouldn’t forgive himself if he was you, either.

Rafe felt about two feet tall, looking back at you with absolutely nothing to say. He was relieved for a second when you opened your mouth to speak first, until he heard the words.

“You don’t understand. The voice in the back of my head, the one I’ve spent years trying to silence, the one that tells me I’m not enough, that I’ll never be enough…it’s your voice, Rafe.”

He grasped desperately for a reply, but there were no words in the English language that made that statement any less devastating.

“Maybe that’s not fair,” you continued before he could come up with anything, “but I don’t think I have control over that. I don’t know how to undo it, if it can be undone. So those ten seconds that just happened out there? They’re  not nothing to me. When you dropped my hand at the sight of her, I felt like I was that stupid teenage girl again, giving my whole heart to the one person who knows how to break it. Blind and foolish and desperate for you to notice her. I don’t like that girl.”

You made it through the whole speech with a steady voice, up until the last sentence. Your voice cracked on those words, your heart doing the same as you pictured your younger self. The one who would sit on her bed for hours, rereading the texts she sent him and praying he’d reply.

Thinking about that version of yourself, you weren’t sure if you wanted to hug her or slap her. Surely, she’d hit you right back if she saw what you were doing now, potentially pushing away the boy she loved more than anything, finally having him within your grasp and letting him slip right through.

At the top of the stairs, unbeknownst to you, Carter was picturing that girl, too. She would roll her eyes at you back then, using sarcastic comments like “are you sure Rafe even knows how to read?” to mask her truer concern; that he could but he wouldn’t, and the heart you wore on your sleeve would end up crushed again. Even now, she couldn’t protect it, couldn’t save it from reaching out to this boy who did nothing but break it.

Frustration welled inside her, the absolute powerlessness to put an end to this cycle that hurts you feeling like a dark cloud over her head. The anger manifested into hot, watery tears gathering on her lash line. Without permission, one slipped through, rolling down her cheek slowly.

Topper caught the whole thing, and despite their fight and his resolve to freeze her out until she apologized, he couldn’t stop his hand from reaching out and stroking her cheek softly, wiping the tear away with a gentle swipe of his thumb.

They shared a look so full of unspoken words and tender emotions that they almost forgot about the conversation in the kitchen, until Rafe’s voice cut through the moment and pulled them from their silent reconciliation.

“Are you okay?” He asked you after you’d been silent for nearly a minute, trying desperately to compose yourself.

“Yes, that's all just a lot. I’m processing,” you sniffled.

“Take your time,” he said, pulling out one of the high back stools from the counter and motioning for you to sit in it.

Your body was so exhausted, even your stubborn anger at him couldn’t stop you from accepting the offer. You slumped on the plush stool, folding your arms on the counter and resting your chin on them.

“How do you like your eggs?” Rafe asked.

“Is that a pick-up line?” 

“Nope, just a question,” he said as he opened the high cupboard and pulled out a frying pan.

You tried to remind yourself you should reject his offer to feed you, you should storm out, you should tell him where he can put his frying pan…but you were hungry. And so tired.

“Sunny side up,” you answered.

He nodded and got to work cooking you breakfast, eggs and bacon sizzling on the stove, Rafe close by with a spatula in hand, silent as he stirred and flipped. You rested your head on your folded arms, eyes half-closed and brain sleepy, watching him. 

If you blocked out the last twenty minutes, you could pretend this morning was your real life, could let yourself imagine it really was all this simple and pleasant and sweet; he’d cook you breakfast, you’d make him coffee, and you’d kiss until the sun rose.

At the top of the stairs, Kelce stood and started descending, before Carter reached up and grabbed his arm.

“What are you doing?” She whispered.

“I’m hungry!” He whined.

“You can’t go down there,” Maddie scolded him, “give them some space.”

“Are we just gonna stay up here all day?” Tom complained as he and Jack stood to join Kelce’s crusade into the kitchen.

“Everybody sit down!” Topper whisper-yelled. “Give them five fucking minutes, you’ll all survive. You can fuck off back to your rooms if you want but no one’s going down there.”

Carter couldn’t help the heart eyes she made at him, surprised and delighted by his show of aggression in your defense.

Kelce groaned as he backed back down, Tom rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up as he trudged down the hall back to his room, Jack following with a huff.

“Kelce, I have a granola bar in my purse, c’mon,” Maddie offered, leading him towards her own door.

Alone again, Topper and Carter looked at each other for a long, quiet moment.

“I’m sorry,” she mouthed.

“I know,” he mouthed back.

She scooted towards him, nuzzling into his side as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple.

Downstairs, Rafe was done with your meal, scooping it onto a plate and sliding it to you across the counter.

“Thank you,” you sat up and began nibbling at a slice of bacon.

Rafe took the stool next to you with his own plate of food. You sat in silence for a while, only the sound of forks scraping against porcelain and the occasional “can you pass the salt?” between you.

Between bites, you rested your head on your arm again, nearly falling asleep.

“I’m so tired,” you mumbled sleepily.

“It’s been a long twenty-four hours,” Rafe agreed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“That’s an understatement,” you snorted, sitting up again and finishing the last bite of your eggs.

“What about…the next twenty-four hours?” He asked quietly.

You took a deep breath, the smile falling from your face as you considered the question underneath his question. You didn’t answer him right away, hopping down from the stool and collecting your plate and his, carrying them to the sink. Rafe was quick behind you, arm reaching around and pulling the dishes from your hands to lay them in the sink. His hand rested on your waist, turning you to face him, pulling you in. Reluctantly, and without returned tenderness, you let him.

“Rafe, I can’t…” you said sadly.

“Please just talk to me,” he pleaded, hands running up your arms and resting on your shoulders. You shook your head, blinking away fresh tears as you pulled away from him.

“It hurts too much, Rafe,” your voice cracked. “As great as the last few days have been, you can’t see that being close to you hurts me. I worked so hard to get over you. So this isn’t me throwing it all away, this is me protecting myself. Protecting what I’ve spent years rebuilding.”

“So what, that's it then? You’re just gonna go back to school and pretend this never happened?” The pain in his voice was palpable, and you cursed the part of you that wanted to reach out and make him feel better.

“I don’t know, Rafe,” a small tear slipped through, gliding slowly down your cheek.

“You’re just gonna stop talking to me, stop thinking about me?” He continued desperately.

You looked up at him finally, searching his face, nodding sadly.

“I’ve done it before.”

Hurt flashed in his crystal blue eyes, flinching like your words had burned him. “You didn’t…you don’t…think about me?”

“No,” you told him honestly, another tear joining the one before it. “Never. Because if I let myself think about you, I would’ve fallen apart. I’m not strong enough, I would’ve run to you, and every time I did that before, you’d let me down.”

“What about yesterday? What about this morning? Just think about the beach, everything was so good, it can be that way now…”

He reached out and cupped the side of your face, thumb brushing over the tears as he pulled you in toward him, kissing you out of sheer desperation. Like maybe if you tasted his lips, it’d transport you both back in time, back to the beach, back when he’d done and said everything right. 

You allowed him to take you there for just a second, before the incident on the front walk flashed in your mind again, the pain of rejection like a knife to your gut. You pulled away from him quickly, side stepping him and moving to the other side of the kitchen, creating as much distance between you as possible.

“No, no, you can’t just kiss me and act like what just happened with Cassie didn’t happen,” you shook your head rapidly, wiping your tear stained streaks with the backs of your hands. “I can’t do this right now, I need some time to think.”

It required fighting every impulse he had, but he didn’t push, didn’t close the space between you, didn’t try to regain the control he was so used to having. He just sighed deeply and nodded, eyes low.

“Okay, well let me know when you’re done…thinking.”

With one last longing look at you, he stepped away to the basement steps, stopping at the top and turning halfway toward you.

“Oh and that girl? The one who gave me her heart? For what it’s worth, I like her. Always have.”

With that, he was gone, the door clicking softly behind him.

Carter and Topper could hear you approach the bottom of the steps. Carter stood first, fully ready to greet you and grill you on everything that had happened since you last spoke. Topper could see all her questions and comments written on her face. He grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, stopping her before she marched down the stairs towards you. She looked at him in surprise but understood quickly as he gave her a slight shake of his head, whispering, “give her some space.”

Reluctantly, she nodded, allowing him to lead her quietly down the hall and into his room.

Your footsteps were heavy on the stairs, body aching. Your brain was so fried you couldn’t even pick one thing from the morning to focus on, like the part of your brain that processes events was temporarily out of order. So you stopped trying to think and just let your feet carry you to your bed, crawling under the covers in your clothes, falling quickly into a restless slumber.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄

In your dreams, you were back in the kitchen with him, shoulder to shoulder in comfortable silence as you did the dishes together. Rafe washed and you dried. 

Only, it wasn’t the beach house kitchen, it was one you’d never been in before. And in that dream-state way of knowing something you don’t actually know, you were sure it was a kitchen the two of you shared, sometime in the distant, unwritten future.

(to be continued)

a/n: I'm so sorry, I had to do it.......also the prom thing may or may not be based on a true story and I may or may not have cried writing it....

also I’m sick and tired so I didn’t edit much sorry for typos!

please note: the taglist for this series is closed. For updates when I post, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs <3

friendly reminder that writers live off of reblogs, don’t forget to feed your faves! 💘

[tired-salty-vampire]

This hit way too hard. I came out to my mom late last year for similar fears. My parents aren't bad people, per say, and they love all of their kids - myself tentatively still included - very much. But it has always felt like there were strings attached. I told her that I'd been with my partner now for over a year and we plan to get married eventually. She said that while she and my dad would not shun me from the family, they would not be celebrating my relationship. Most of my family are very religious so I was amazed that I wasn't cut off on the spot because my parents had shunned my older sisters (who have since been welcomed back into family functions) for years on end for far less. I was proud of them for that and it showed growth and while I wasn't expecting them to be elated and jumping off the walls in excitement for me, I am sad that they will never be happy for me and that I've found someone I love, loves me in return, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

We spent our last Christmas with our respective families before moving out of state and neither my partner nor I were able to spend it together at each other's famiy homes because they are both incredibly pious and have forbidden the other from being at their house. So we are allowed to still be with our families on the condition that our partner is not with us. This just drove home even more the "loved with strings attached" aspect of family who isn't awful, but definitely not great.

"It's just so sad." This something my mom has always said about people who are LGBTQ+. Especially about my uncle, who has been married to his husband for three decades at this point, but I didn't find out by that he was gay until I was fifteen. He'd been a part of my life with his "roommate" who'd occasionally come to Christmas or other holidays. It just wasn't talked about because of the homophobia and essentially the homoerasur from my parents and their parents.

Whenever she would say things like that, I'd always think, "No, what's sad is that you think it's sad for people to love someone of the same sex. Or to realize that they identify as someone that they weren't originally assigned at birth. It is sad that you can't accept or respect people who have different beliefs than you and don't adhere to the rigid system you do, and you reject them on principal."

My only hope is that after my partner and I are married, my parents at least will allow me to bring my wife to family gatherings. Because I have every right to do that just as much as a heterosexual family member would.

To come back to what OP said, most parents of queer people usually aren't just straight forward good or bad, kind or abusive. It's very often some confusing and emotionally trying combination of "We still love you, but with conditions" and because of that you never know where the line is or what is safe to mention or talk about before they go off on you about "life choices".

Overall, having parents or family members who are passive aggressively "accepting" of your being queer is likely more far common than media shows and that aspect, as much as it sucks and is complicated, is still worth sharing.

I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel.  At least in media or in the most popular stories.  But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea?  And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point.  Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you.  Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?

I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area.  I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.

[yanderestarangel]

★ ! hidden desires — stalker!bruce wayne x male reader

a/n: This is a repost! The first post has been taken down ( by tumblr itself lol); sorry and thanks for letting me know.

♡⁠┊tw: stalking, suggestive behavior, fingering, casual sex, v! sex, ftm reader, sex with a condom, afab anatomy, blowjob.

Each time he remembered what he had done—stalking you for weeks from the shadows like the nocturnal creature he was—a strange sense of shame settled in his chest. He used his shadowy vigilante persona to justify his unhealthy obsession, but even that excuse felt hollow.

He kept insisting to himself, "It's just for his safety." However, the heat in his groin wouldn't let him pretend otherwise — standing in the rain and cold nights by the window in the building above your house... But lying and manipulating to get into your life and home was not something he usually did.

That night, you'd gone out to the club. People were whispering about a new drug called "Bliss" and some underworld drama involving Sofia Falcone, while the red lights of the club mixed with your carefree expression, oblivious to Gotham's lurking dangers.

Wayne, however, was watching you as always—from afar, waiting for the right moment to act.

He wasn’t oblivious; his glances at a few attractive men at the party hadn’t escaped the dark gaze of the guard’s blue irises. He knew his obsession with you had gone too far, yet he ignored the rational alarms ringing in his mind—and started toward you.

It hadn’t been very difficult for him to get into his pants and into his home, and, to be honest, he didn’t know whether to feel angry or surprised. Perhaps it was a bittersweet mixture he’d reflect on only after leaving the apartment, since, after all, his blood wasn’t exactly rushing to his head.

You whispered a question, asking his name, but his hands were too focused on exploring your body.

"Bruce," he growled, finally breaking the silence. "My name is Bruce." The words came out more tense than he’d anticipated, and he silently prayed you wouldn’t ask anything else—or recognize him as one of Gotham’s elusive big shots.

Bruce’s fingers pressed deeper into your warm, slick heat, curling just right against that sensitive spot that made you see stars. He felt you tighten around him, your body responding to every stroke. With an added finger, he stretched you gently, preparing you for more. His thumb found your clit, drawing tight, deliberate circles as he drove you closer to the edge with relentless precision.

Bruce murmured, "So tight. I can’t wait to feel you wrapped around me," his voice thick with desire. His mouth latched onto your nipple, sucking hard, while his fingers continued their steady rhythm inside you. He felt the tremors in your body, heard your breathy moans, each sound and movement pushing you closer to the edge.

"Come for me," he demanded, his teeth grazing your flesh. "Come on my fingers like a good boy."

And you did, your walls clenching around him as you cried out in pleasure. Bruce guided you through it, prolonging your orgasm and drawing every last drop of ecstasy from your quivering form.

When you finally collapsed back onto the bed, spent and panting, Wayne withdrew his fingers and brought them to his lips. He licked them clean, savoring your taste and scent. It was so sweet and erotic that he felt his cock throb, and all the rationality and chivalry that defined his persona went out the window.

Quickly, the rest of your clothes were removed, and the man with black eye shadow sat on your bed, spreading his thighs and inviting you to suck his cock — a command you immediately obeyed. The sight of you on your knees, your plump lips stretched around his shaft, was almost too much for him.

He tangled his fingers in your hair, guiding your head as you moved up and down, taking him deeper and deeper into your throat, his hips rocking forward to meet your eager tongue. "Just like that, atta boy... Take it all."

He could feel you gagging around him, could hear the wet, obscene sounds of your slurping and sucking. It was music to his ears—a symphony of pleasure that nearly undid him. His other hand found your ass, squeezing the supple flesh as he pulled you closer, pressing his cock deeper down your throat. He could feel you struggling to breathe, could see the tears streaming down your cheeks, but he didn't relent.

"Look at me... I want to see your eyes when you choke on my cock."

He commanded, holding your gaze as you struggled to comply, your eyes watering as you fought for air. But you didn’t pull away or tap out; instead, you leaned in, taking him even deeper until your nose pressed against his pelvis. He was so close to climax, but he held back, wanting to savor this intense connection, feeling your body fully aligned with his.

"No fuck... not yet..." He grunted hoarsely taking his mouth off his cock as he shook trying to hold back his orgasm. "On your hands and knees, now." He ran his hands over your smooth skin, caressing your curves, your softness, a stark contrast to his own hard planes. He was prepared that night, carrying a condom in his jacket pocket, even though he thought the chances of him touching you were zero... Well, apparently not. He positioned himself behind you, the head of his cock nudging against your entrance.

With a slow thrust, he pushed forward, breaking your tight heat. He groaned at the sensation, at the way your walls clenched around him, trying to draw him deeper. He watched his cock disappear inside you, your tight heat enveloping him completely. He could feel every twitch, every pulse of your walls around him, could see the way your body yielded to his, taking him deeper and deeper.

But despite the overwhelming sensations, he remained silent, unsure of how to express the depth of his desire, the intensity of his need. He'd never been good with words, had always been better with actions, with his fists, with his body. You tried to talk to him, however Bruce's hand came down hard on your ass, the sharp sting of the slap echoing in the room. He watched as you jolted forward, your back arching, your head thrown back in ecstasy.

"Shh... Don't talk. Just feel." He punctuated his command with another slap, his fingers digging into the reddening flesh of your ass, holding you in place as he drove into you with renewed vigor. Wayne watched as you came undone beneath him, your body shaking, your walls clenching around his cock. He could feel your release coating his shaft, could hear your sweet whimpers filling the room.

And then he was coming too, his orgasm ripping through him like a tidal wave. He buried himself deep inside you, his hips grinding against your ass as he filled the condom with his seed. He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, his breath hot against your neck. For a long moment, he simply held you, savoring the feeling of your body against his, the warmth of your skin, the racing of your heart.

He wasn't used to this, to the intimacy, to the vulnerability. He was better at fighting, at brooding, at being alone... Stalking you was a different thing than finally having you, and he felt no shame in having lied. So he pulled out of you, quickly disposing of the condom before rolling off the bed. He stood there for a moment, his back to you, his hands clenched at his sides.

"I...I should go," he mumbled, not quite meeting your eyes. "I have work to do... It was cool..."

He grabbed his clothes, dressing quickly, efficiently. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to bridge the gap between what had just happened and what came next... He was used to being your stalker, but now his brain couldn't function after finally getting what he wanted: you.

But he was sure of something, the feeling became more fixed in his chest... He was more addicted in you.

★ ! yanderestarangel©

[baocean]

starting over - rafe cameron [four]

smau! rafecameron x youtuber!reader

summary: you’ve moved back to the obx after 4 years of growing your career in california. your friendships stayed afloat during your time away, you can’t say the same about your relationship. but rafe hears your back in town, and it set on not letting you go this time.

masterlist | three | four | five |

rafecam: 👶🏼🐕‍🦺🍾🏎️

kelcee: So aesthetic king!

↳ ruthieslife: so sassy

sarahcam: awww the pic of the three of us 🥹🥹

tthorton: Loving this sign of life bro!

↳ kelcee: Gets left on read ONCE and immediately goes MIA

↳ rafecam: That’s enough thank you! 🤗

barryrusso: We get it u drive a Porsche and go to parties

↳ rafecam: Did you not see that I also hang out with dogs?

wheeziecameron: THE PIC OF US THATS SO CUTE

↳ wheeziecameron: I didn’t know you liked me 🥹

↳ rafecam: I don’t ❤️

sighing, you looked over at jj. he turned to look back at you, giving you a questioning glance.

“rafe.” that was all you had to say, he nodded knowingly.

“as your friend, i say give it some time. you just got here.” jj shrugged his shoulders and you smiled.

jj had been your friend for a few years now. he’d been the #1 person for boy advice for, like, 5 years.

“yea, you’re probably right. alright, i’ve got to go edit some videos.” you sat up from the bean back chair, placed in the corner of jj’s room.

“what videos did you film?” he asked you, standing up with you.

“a get ready with me, and i talked about weird things my family did growing up. and i did a baking video with cleo that i’ll probably put out tomorrow morning.”

“that sounds fun, can’t wait to watch them,” jj smiled at you, “whatever you end up doing with rafe, we’ll be there for you. it might hurt for a while, but you will be okay.”

“thanks j.” you pulled him into a hug, letting yourself relax into your friend.

you said your goodbyes, drove the ten minute distance back to your house. everyone was home, all five of your siblings and your parents.

you found talking about your childhood with your siblings so easy, that’s why you had made a video about them a few days ago.

it was loud in your house, just the way you liked it. ethan and mikey playing video games in the living room, willa was coloring at the table, humming her own little tune, liv and asa were off in the workout room, asa’s rap playlist blasting in the distance.

it was completely calming, in all its chaos. something comforting and familiar, exactly what you needed right now.

[martiandmichelle]

Here's little Kaatje holding my left tit out for others to play with. I love when someone holds my tit like this while others play with it - even better is one person holding one tit like this an another person holding the other the same way. But more on this below.

It's official: I'm keeping the extra pounds on and will even let my weight go as high as 175 pounds. Roxy quickly polled the people working here their of opinion of my body at either 165 pounds or 135, showing them photos. With the significantly bigger boobs at 165 I was surprised that 90% of the guys want me at the heavier weight. But even the ladies came in at 80% for the bigger size. I spent some time with Shannan, our site physician, yesterday and she gave me a clean bill of health for 167 pounds, with one exception: my blood sugar and A1C have crept up to prediabetic range. She gave me a blood sugar monitor and told me if I began to consistently go over 125 blood sugar (fasting) then it's time to lose the weight. Gail has designed a special diet for me to help me gain weight in a healthy manner and I'll have to keep up with my walks and exercises.

I'm determined to hit that Z cup!!!!!!!!!!!

Now back to the position above. The drive back Sunday to our house and Mountain Media was scary or I would have slept the 90 minutes we drove. Kaatje doesn't pay much attention to speed limits! Anyway, we got home safely and, me having been up all Saturday night/Sunday morning enjoying my tits, I was ready for a long nap, but a surprise waiting me when I walked into my bedroom suite in the house: all four of our new porn studs were there waiting for me! Each wore a tuxedo and held a dozen roses! I was stunned. They all looked very handsome and here I was in jeans, a jacket, and a sweater underneath which the bottom fourth of my boobs hung out. I didn't have much makeup on and my hair, though washed that morning, was a mess.

But the guys were soon on me and I forgot everything else. There were kisses with hands going up my sweater. Soon the jacket and sweater were on the floor and the jeans and undies weren't far behind. I was nude: they were fully clothed. Then two of them got in the position Kaatje held in the photo above; the other two began enjoying my tits and nipples. I couldn't see a thing but the backs of the two guys hold my two girls. The shortest guy was 5'11." I felt small - all of me except my boobs which felt gigantic.

The guys were thrilled with my newly grown boobs at my increased weight. They had interviewed back in August and I had put on 3 extra cup sizes with my weight. They would play and suck on them and talk about them as if it were just my tits and them in the room.

There was no video in the room, but audio was broadcast across the studio complex and into the main house. I think everyone listened in even as the four of them enjoyed my tits from 12:30 in the afternoon when I arrived until dark. Then the fucking began. As a wrote in an earlier post, our board of directors insisted all new male stars be at least 11" long - so these four guys were: two Americans (one white, one black); one Canadian; and one guy from New Zealand of all places!

It was 1:00 am when they left me, thoroughly exhausted. I finally got my sleep.

[onyxandemerald]

We are anti-lawn so we don't mow our yard. I'll whack paths for us to where we walk and I rip aggressive growers and seeders periodically so they don't get out of hand but for the most part our yard is wild and pollinators have flocked to us in droves. I also water somewhat regularly during dry spells so there's usually water on our property for them too.

There is a ginormous, and I mean absolutely humongous wasp nest, probably hundreds strong on the porch lamp directly above our back door. Its a covered porch and it is right next to our compost bin, so I understand why they like it here. They are important pollinators, and our yard is full of food. It's the back door so we aren't out there super frequently but its close enough to home that it's made all my roommates super anxious.

Only one has made it inside ever. Our guest got scared and hid in my room while I carefully rescued the bugger cup-and-paper style and returned her to her nest. Another wasp has never made it indoors, and I barely even catch them flying around when I'm out there taking the trash out. I pause if I see one in my path and let her land, and then I say excuse me and mind my business. Its super freaky when they see me coming and they all look at me with their wasp eyes and they wave their funny little antennae at me but I have never ever, not once felt threatened by them. I might almost describe us as friends.

It's an ongoing debate in the house on what to do about them. My first intention was to relocate them somewhere gently so at least we don't have to look them in the eye every day, but now the nest is so large I'm not sure that's an option without professional help. One vote was to murder them all with chemicals and I have made it very clear that if that were to happen, it would be immediate friendship over, and I am not ashamed to admit that on the internet.

OP is right because bugs are part of our community too. They are vital to the ecosystem, and that makes this a community building exercise. Even if you are afraid, even if you are uncomfortable, having to be in the same space as a bug will not kill you, and most definitively will not be the most gruesome thing you will experience in you whole life. If it is, I am so sorry, please touch grass.

Been working in pest control for 3 months now and i can confidently say that nobody on earth seems to understand that sometimes You Will See A Bugs and that’s Normal if you live literally anywhere with oxygen

[chussy]

just realized that my dad actually basically attempted to kidnap me the summer before 7th grade and I didn't even interpret it as such until now because it was so in line with his general shittiness that it didn't even stand out

[howdoyousleep3]

never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

had quite the night drive earlier this evening.

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Y’all, I’m exhausted.

My uncle passed away over the weekend, very early on Saturday morning, after a very brief but aggressive battle with cancer. From diagnosis to death was less than a week. 

My mom and I have done everything in our power to be with my family as much as possible, and I am so thankful that I got to say my goodbyes and to be with them when he passed, and some portion of most every day since. 

But between work, therapy, previously scheduled appointments, funeral arrangements, choir, etc. and just general grief, I feel like I haven’t slept in days. I’ve barely been eating (or had time to eat) let alone manage anything else in my life, and every time I think I might have a moment to lie down or do some laundry, something else comes up. 

I am so ready and willing to do whatever is needed for my family right now, but I think I am reaching a bit of a personal breaking point. 

[bunnyb34r]

🎵 turn those fucking lights back on, or so help me. So help me! 🎵

[inbabylontheywept]

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home. 

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

[lizardho]

I was like 11-12 years old when I figured out at a boring-ass church activity that you could put rocks into little plastic spoons and then pelt people who annoyed me with them. I did this for the rest of the activity, and at Sunday dinner the next night was bragging about my victory (cornering the mean kid who picked on my youngest brother and pelting him with rocks). One of my cousins was like “no way, that sounds SO fun! Let’s do that RIGHT NOW!” So we grabbed spoons and went and got pebbles from the back yard and launched them at each other.

The problem was my grandma sold her soul for the world’s most resilient plastic spoons so we could launch those fuckers HARD. I gave out welts like candy on Halloween, and I got them back in kind.

So we resorted to taking cover and giggling until we got whacked, then yelping, then returning fire.

My cousin hid in my grandpa’s little fishing boat. It was a good boat, but simple and honestly underused. We didn’t know the little windows on it, meant to keep the wind out of my grandpa’s face while he drove, were cracking. However, they were definitely cracking. Eventually it became obvious and we realized we had been being dumb.

This was NOT the first time in my life I’d been dumb roughhousing and broken something, and I had developed a reputation in my family as being “suicidally honest” so I was the one to deliver the bad news. My grandpa let out a pretty good chuckle and said it was OK, tousled my hair, and asked my grandma to bring me cake. I am not kidding. I learned later he hated his boat and only bought it for his kids’ sakes, since he thought everyone needed to know how to fish. At the time though I was just bewildered and pleased at my good fortune. FINALLY, at long last, being honest and telling the truth about breaking something expensive was getting me cake. I knew if I kept trying it would eventually serve me, and now so had CAKE. I was pleased as could be.

My dad, on the other hand, was livid. He LOVED that boat. He spent several weeks each summer recovering from breaking ribs in that boat every year for about 7 years prior to this incident. He had great memories and memories that boat. So he told my Grandma NO cake for me AND that I’d be coming by this weekend to fix stuff around the house and pay for the broken window with my babysitting/lawn mowing money.

Obviously I was devastated, but that felt more in-line with the way things normally went when I broke something expensive so I just figured it was OK. My grandpa gave my grandma a look and sadly said “Ok, have her here on Saturday to help me with some yard work.”

That Saturday my dad woke me up at 6:00 sharp and drove me, sleepy and bewildered, to my grandpa’s house. He was mumbling under his breath the whole time but he thought he was teaching me consequences for my actions so he was ultimately OK with it.

We get to my grandpa’s house at 6:15. My grandpa is outside with a ladder hanging Christmas lights. The lawn is freshly mowed, the trees and garden are weeded and well-tended to, the carnations in the front yard look immaculate, and my grandpa has this giddy mischievous look on his face. He tells me he was so excited that I was coming over that he couldn’t sleep, so he did all the yard work himself. He asked me to help him put up Christmas lights and decorate the Christmas tree, which I did, then said that because I was such a good helper I could have some pancakes for breakfast. I was sent home with the slice of cake I had been denied the week before, wrapped to keep it as fresh as possible.

The whole way home my dad looked a little miffed, but told me that he was glad I had been honest and was proud of me for helping grandpa. I know he wanted me to Learn a Lesson™️the cowboy way, like he had as a kid, but didn’t have much room to complain since I’d still been Put To Work.

I think that was a lesson for both of us, although I’m not totally sure what it was supposed to show me. I think it was my grandpa’s way of showing my dad that discipline without tenderness doesn’t count as much. He died last year and I miss him terribly, as does my dad. I hope that my story of victory, drama, punishment, and ultimately a secret second victory is meaningful to someone else out there, but if not it still means a lot to me ❤️

[inkskinned]

hello. you left a neon pink post-it with pgs 194-359 due 9/12 in the book, by the way. it is now May 23rd and the library's printer is running out of ink. it jammed and tore my passport application. one of the librarians dutifully blacked out all my information (front and back!) before proceeding to use every unmarred inch as scrap paper.

i think maybe our (plural, inclusive) lives are connected. all of them. i have been thinking a lot about borrowing. about how people move through the world in waves, filling in the same spaces. i have probably stood on the same subway platform as you. we held the same book. all of us stand in the same line at the grocery, at the gas station. how many feet have stood washing dishes in my kitchen?

i hope you are doing well. the pen you used was a nice red, maybe a glitter pen? you have loopy, curling handwriting. i sometimes wonder if it is true that you can tell a personality by the shape of our letters. i'm borrowing my brother's car. he's got scrangly engineer handwriting (you know the one). it's a yellow-orange ford mustang boss. when i got out of the building, some kids were posing with it for a selfie. i felt a little bird grow in me and had to pause and pretend to be busy with my phone to give them more time for their laughing.

i have a habit of asking people what's the last good book you read? the librarian's handwriting on the back of my smeared-and-chewed passport application says the glass house in small undercase. i usually go for fantasy/sci fi, but she was glowing when she suggested it. i found your post-it on page 26, so i really hope you didn't have to read up to 359 in that particular book. i hope you're like me and just have a weird "random piece of trash" "bookmark" that somehow makes it through like, 58 books.

i wish the concept of soul mates was bigger. i wish it was about how my soul and your soul are reading the same work. how i actually put down that book at the same time you did - page 26 was like, all exposition. i wish we were soul mates with every person on the same train. how magical to exist and borrow the same space together. i like the idea that somewhere, someone is using the shirts i donated. i like the idea that every time i see a nice view and say oh gosh look at the view, you (plural, inclusive) said that too.

the kids hollered when i beeped the car. oh dude you set off the alarm, oh shit is she - dude that's her car!! one was extremely polite. "i like your car, Miss. i'm sorry we touched it." i said i wasn't busy, finish up the pictures. i folded your post-it into a paper crane while i waited. i thought about how my brother's a kind person but his handwriting looks angry. i thought about how for an entire year i drove someone to work every day - and i didn't even think to ask for gas money. my handwriting is straight capital letters.

i thought about how i can make a paper crane because i was taught by someone who was taught by someone else.

the kids asked me to rev the engine and you know i did. the way they reacted? you would have thought i brought the sun from the sky and poured it into a waterglass. i went home smiling about it. i later gave your post it-turned-bird to a tiny child on the bus. she put it in her mouth immediately.

how easy, standing in your shadow, casting my own. how our hands pass over each other in the same minor folds. i wonder how many of the same books you and i have read. i wonder how many people have the same favorite six songs or have been in the same restaurant or have attended the same movie premier. the other day i mentioned the Book Mill from a small town in western massachusetts - a lot of people knew of it. i wonder if i've ever passed you - and didn't even notice it.

i hope whatever i leave behind makes you happy. i hope my hands only leave gentle prints. i hope you and i get the same feeling when the sun comes out. soulmates across all of it.

[jwonsite]

bed chem - sim jaeyun

(part of the short n' sweet series)

pairing - collegestudent!jake x fem!reader

word count - 7.6k

warnings - drinking, unprotected sex (wrap it up,,), they don't rly know each other whoops, uhm lmk anything i missed

you looked in the mirror one last time as your best friend rambled on about how fun this party was going to be, and how you could finally “put yourself out there” after your last boyfriend. 

“i am going to get so wasted tonight, apparently they hired like, an actual dj, and i heard somebody say that they were going to do a lip sync battle between the boys,” yunjin explained as she bounced on her heels, waving her hands around in excitement as she told you all the things she heard about the party already.

you ran your hands over the fabric of the dress again, silently questioning whether you were ready for this. it had been a few months since your last relationship, but the idea of putting yourself out there felt… a bit overwhelming.

“alright yes i get it yunjin, i promise i will not silently sit in the corner the whole time,” you said to her as you turned to walk out of your room

“okay okay, i’m sorry i just want you to have a little bit of fun for once. you’re always cooped up in this room doing god knows what,” she said as she grabbed her stuff and followed you out of your apartment

“how did you even find out about this again?” you asked her, sitting down in the drivers seat of your car as she settled into the seat next to you

“well i have a class with heeseung, and the other day he was talking about this ‘big party’ that his best friend was throwing for his birthday, and he asked me to come, and told me to ‘bring my friend too’,” she explained, applying another layer of lip liner and gloss in the small mirror above her

“wait pause, lee heeseung asked about me?” you asked, making a face of disbelief, considering you have never talked to him in your life

“well no, it was one of his friends, i dont remember which one of them it was they all kind of blur together in my mind,” she said as she closed the mirror and opened her phone, rambling about something she saw on her phone as you’re left to wonder which one of lee heeseung’s friends would’ve requested you at this party.

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as the street filled with parked cars and the music thumped louder, a knot started forming in your stomach. you can’t believe you let her talk you into this, much rather being at home in your pajamas binge watching a new series. you glanced at yunjin, who was already checking her lipstick in the mirror, completely unfazed. of course, she was used to this; you, on the other hand… it had been a while.

you find a parking spot relatively close to the house after a boy helped his very obviously drunk girlfriend into the car and drove away. parking the car you grabbed your bag and looked at your best friend,

“yunjin do not leave me alone here like last time. and if you are going home with somebody please tell me before you’re already halfway to his house so i dont go insane looking for you,” you said a bit sternly

“i promise i will tell you if i leave,” she said, extending her pinky out to you as you guys have done for all the years you’ve been friends, interlocking your pinkies before touching your thumbs together and smiling.

as you stepped out of the car, the crisp night air hit your skin, contrasting with the heavy thrum of bass in the distance. the smell of alcohol already lingered, though you hadn’t even reached the front door.

yunjin let out a small squeal, excited to have finally been able to convince you to come to a party with her again. she grabbed your hand as you both walked to the front door, watching as a group of people are huddled on the porch, holding red cups as they laughed at the boy in the middle badly attempted to show off a dance move to the rest of the group.

inside, the bass vibrated through the floor, almost drowning out the sound of slurred conversations and wild laughter. the room was dimly lit, only flashing neon lights from the dj booth cutting through the haze. the air was thick with the scent of alcohol and the heat of too many bodies crowded into one space.

your grip on yunjin’s hand tightened as the crowd pressed in, laughter and music swirling around you like a chaotic blur. part of you wanted to turn around, walk right back out into the quiet night. but another part, the part that hadn’t let go of your last relationship, wondered if maybe, just maybe, yunjin was right. maybe tonight was the night to try and put yourself out there again.

as you and yunjin made it through the large crowd and to a less crowded area of the party, she let go of your hand before yelling over the music, “i’m gonna go say hi to heeseung,” she said with a wink, “ill be back!”

you shook your head a bit as you let out a small laugh, the small crush your friend had on the boy never letting up. you sat down on one of the couches in front of you, and your mind briefly wandered to heeseung’s friends, trying to remember their faces. which one of them had asked for you? the thought lingered for a moment, but you quickly shook it off. it didn’t matter, right?

as yunjin disappeared into the crowd, the thrum of excitement that she had brought with her quickly faded, leaving you alone with the deafening music and unfamiliar faces. you looked around, suddenly aware of how out of place you felt without her by your side.

you pulled out your phone, scrolling through it for a bit before you felt somebody sit down next to you, looking to your left and seeing a boy wearing a white jacket. his long brown hair fell nicely to the sides of his head, highlighting his big brown eyes and plump lips, seeing them curl up as he smiled at you. 

“you here by yourself?” he asked you, the words rolling off his lips coated in a thick australian accent.

“oh no, i’m here with my best friend but she disappeared a bit ago to find someone,” you said looking down shyly, smiling as you looked back up at him as you finished your sentence.

you recognized him, but you weren’t sure from where. you probably had seen him around campus, pushing it out of your head as he spoke up again.

“ah well, you could hang with me for a bit til she gets back,” he said, smiling at you with his eyes wide. you let out a small laugh as you nodded, but your heart raced a little faster than you’d expected. It had been a long time since you’d felt the nerves of sitting close to a boy, especially one who looked at you like that. was this how flirting was supposed to go? you could barely remember.

"i’m jake, by the way," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. 

"nice to meet you, jake," you replied, still feeling a little off-kilter but warming up to the conversation, "i’m y/n" 

he let out a small chuckle, "you looked like you needed a rescue back there, these kinds of parties not your scene?" 

you laughed, feeling yourself relax just a bit, "is it that obvious?"

he looked up as he pretending to think about your question, “hm, just a bit,” he said, feeling his knee brush lightly against yours as he leaned in, his smile growing wider. you noticed the faint scent of his cologne, warm and slightly sweet, mixing with the alcohol-laced air.

“you want something to drink?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder at the drink table behind him.

“sure,” you said, going to get up before he stopped you, putting a hand out in front of you

“no no its okay i got it, what do you want?” he asked you, looking down at you as you sat back down on the couch.

“surprise me,” you replied cheekily, smiling up at him as he walked away.

as you watched jake weave through the crowd toward the drink table, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement, or was it nervousness? you couldn’t tell.

jake returned with a grin, making eye contact with you. you stifled a laugh as he tripped over the carpet beneath the couch, catching himself just before falling.

“that carpet definitely wasn’t there before,” he said, laughing as he sat down next to you. he handed you a red cup filled with a vibrant orange liquid. you took the cup, peered inside, and sniffed. the strong aroma of alcohol mixed with a fruity scent made you scrunch your nose.

“i’m not going to wake up in an unknown place tomorrow with no memory of tonight if i drink this, am i?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

jake let out a small laugh, grabbing the cup from your hand. he poured the contents into another cup, mixing them together before handing it back. “there, promise I’m not trying to kill you,” he said with a wink, taking a big swig from his own drink.

you took a cautious sip, then looked at jake with a mock-serious expression. 

“well, i guess if i wake up in a strange place i’m blaming you,” you said with a grin.

jake chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “fair enough. but I’ll do my best to keep you safe,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

you two continued to talk, the conversation flowing effortlessly between playful banter and discussions about your future plans. jake shared what he does for fun, his major in school, and his aspirations for after graduation. you found yourselves bonding over shared interests and ambitions, discovering more common ground as the night went on.

as you spoke, jake’s proximity made it hard to concentrate. his cologne, warm and slightly sweet, mixed with the scent of the party, creating a dizzying effect. he inched closer, your knees touching as he placed a hand on your thigh. the simple touch, combined with his intense gaze, made your heart race and your thoughts scatter.

his fingers rested lightly on your leg, and you could feel the warmth of his hand even through the fabric of your dress. you tried to focus on the conversation, but the closeness and the lingering effect of the alcohol made it increasingly difficult to think straight. jake’s voice, warm and smooth, seemed to envelop you, making everything else fade into the background.

you glanced at him, catching his gaze as he spoke, his eyes reflecting a genuine interest and a hint of something deeper. you were so focused on the boy in front of you that you had completely forgotten about waiting for your best friend to come back.

a hand on your shoulder made you turn around, and you saw yunjin standing there, with heeseung right behind her.

“i’m leaving. you good?” she asked, her eyes flicking to jake before turning back to you.

“yeah, i’m fine. keep me updated on where you are, i’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, pulling her in for a hug. she bent down, wrapping her arms around you, and whispered in your ear.

“that’s him,” she said quickly, a hint of excitement in her voice, “he’s the one who asked about you.”

your cheeks heated at the thought that jake had actively looked for you during the party. as yunjin pulled away and smiled at you, raising her eyebrows, you felt a rush of warmth.

“well, anyway, bye,” she said, drawing out the word as she grabbed heeseung’s hand and practically dragged him out of the house.

you watched them leave, feeling a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. turning back to jake, you found him still smiling at you, his interest palpable.

“was she your ride?” he asked, his face showing a hint of concern.

“no, no, i was actually her ride,” you explained. “i just like for her to let me know when she’s leaving so i don’t go crazy looking for her when i want to leave.”

“makes sense,” he said, nodding. the conversation fell into a brief silence, and you could sense the shift in the air.

“well, i should probably head home,” you said, standing up. you stumbled slightly to the side as you straightened up. jake quickly stood, his hands reaching out to steady you, resting gently on your waist.

“woah, are you sure you’re okay to drive home?” he asked, his hands still on your waist, holding you upright. your faces were inches apart, and the warmth of his touch sent a rush of feelings through you. his close proximity made your mind fuzzy, and you found it hard to focus on anything other than the way his hands felt on you. at your lack of response, jake gently removed his hands and grabbed your bag from the couch.

“i’ll drive you home,” he said, taking one of your hands in his and leading you out of the house. he fished your car keys out of your purse and pressed the lock button to find your car, spotting it parked at a nearby house.

as you walked together, your thoughts were consumed by the lingering sensation of his hand on yours. the warmth and security of his grip made your heart race and your mind swirl with a mix of excitement and anticipation. you let him lead you to your car, watching him as he opened the passenger door for you and helped you get in. he walked around the front of the car and got into the driver's seat, turning on the car before adjusting the seat and mirrors for his height. he put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking spot.

as jake pulled up in front of your apartment building, the soft glow of the streetlights bathed the street in a muted orange hue. the ride had been quiet, with a comfortable silence lingering between you two. as he cut the engine, the quiet felt heavier, almost like neither of you wanted to break it.

jake glanced over at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “you okay?” he asked, voice soft but tinged with concern.

you nodded, trying to push down the nervous flutter in your stomach. “yeah, i’m good. thanks for driving me.”

he gave a small shrug, his eyes never leaving yours. “i wasn’t about to let you drive home after everything tonight. no way.”

you smiled in return, the warmth in his gaze doing more to settle you than you’d care to admit. after a moment of hesitation, you reached for the door handle, but the thought of saying goodbye so soon felt wrong, unfinished. you turned back to Jake, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.

“do you… wanna come inside for a bit?”

jake blinked, his eyebrows rising slightly in surprise, “inside? i mean, sure, if that’s okay with you.”

“yeah,” you said quickly, the sudden rush of confidence surprising even you, “i just thought it might be better than you waiting out here or calling an uber.”

jake grinned, his eyes softening in that easy, charming way he had, “i’m not gonna say no to that.”

you both got out of the car, the cool night air nipping at your skin. as you led him to the door, the sound of his footsteps behind you felt grounding, reassuring. once inside, you clicked on a small lamp, the warm light spilling over your cozy apartment. you turned to see jake taking it all in, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.

“it’s nice,” he said, his voice quieter now that you were in a more intimate space. “feels like you.”

you blinked at him, caught off guard, 

“like me?”

“yeah,” he nodded, offering you a soft smile. “warm, inviting.”

heat crept up your neck at his words. you quickly moved toward the closet, pulling out a blanket and some pillows. “you can, uh, take the couch. it’s really comfortable. i have extra blankets if you need more.”

jake chuckled softly as he watched you fuss around, “thanks, y/n. i appreciate it.”

you placed the pillows on the couch and turned back to him, feeling a bit self-conscious now that you were standing in the soft glow of the living room together. the energy between you two felt different here, softer, closer.

“so… do you want something to drink?” you offered, “water, soda, tea?”

“water’s fine,” jake said, following you with his eyes as you made your way to the kitchen. 

“you’re being really sweet about this, you know that?”

you laughed quietly, grabbing a glass. “i just don’t want you to think i invited you in and then abandoned you on the couch.”

jake smiled, his gaze lingering on you as you handed him the glass of water.

“i definitely don’t feel abandoned.”

his words hung in the air for a moment longer than necessary, and you found yourself nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“so, um, you’re okay with crashing here? i mean, i don’t want it to feel awkward or anything.”

jake shook his head. 

“not awkward at all. actually… it’s kind of nice. i wasn’t ready to head home yet anyway.”

you bit your lip, contemplating your next move. 

“well… if you’re not tired, we could, i don’t know, watch a movie or something? just to wind down?”

jake’s eyes lit up, “a movie sounds perfect. wyou got?”

You walked over to the couch and gestured toward your small but growing collection of dvds and streaming options on the tv. 

“pick your poison. i’m pretty easygoing when it comes to movies.”

jake grinned, kneeling down in front of your collection, his fingers brushing over a few titles before he looked back at you with a playful gleam in his eye. 

“rom-com or action?”

you rolled your eyes playfully. “you really think I’m the rom-com type?”

he chuckled, shaking his head, “i don’t know, i could see you enjoying a cheesy romance now and then.”

“alright, fine,” you said with a smirk, “pick whatever you want. i’m just going to change into something more comfortable.”

jake nodded as you disappeared into your bedroom, your heart racing a little faster than it should have been. the realization that jake was in your living room, picking out a movie for the two of you to watch together, was almost surreal.

when you emerged a few minutes later, now dressed in comfy sweatpants and a hoodie, jake had settled on the couch, the movie queued up, and now changed into a pair of sweats and oversized t shirt that you had left out for him. he looked up at you with a grin.

“i went with action. hope that’s cool,” he said, patting the seat next to him.

“totally fine,” you laughed, sitting down beside him, leaving just enough space to feel the comfortable tension between you.

the movie started, and for the first few minutes, you both stayed focused on the screen, the low hum of action scenes filling the room. but as time passed, you found yourself sneaking glances at jake. his profile, illuminated by the soft glow of the tv, was calm and relaxed.

eventually, you leaned back into the couch, letting the comfort of the moment settle over you. “thanks for tonight,” you said softly.

jake turned his head, his gaze finding yours in the dim light. “i should be the one thanking you.”

you smiled, feeling the weight of his words. “for what?”

“for letting me in,” he said quietly, his voice sincere.

for a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet hanging in the air between you. then, without really thinking, you nudged him with your elbow, breaking the tension with a smile. “well, if you get popcorn crumbs on my couch, i might take it back.”

jake laughed, the sound low and warm, and suddenly everything felt easy again. you leaned into the movie, the space between you shrinking ever so slightly as the night went on, the quiet intimacy of it all wrapping around you both like a soft, shared secret.

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you woke up early the next morning, the soft rays of sunlight filtering through the curtains, painting the room in golden hues. it had to be around 6 or 7 a.m. the apartment was quiet, the only sound being the rhythmic breathing from the boy underneath you. you went to move, instinctively reaching for your phone, but stopped as you became fully aware of where you were—and who you were with.

your face warmed as you realized you were lying completely on top of jake, his arms wrapped snugly around your waist, his chest rising and falling beneath you. you didn’t even remember how you ended up like this, barely recalling falling asleep in the first place. all you could focus on was the heat of his hands resting against your back, their warmth burning through the thin fabric of your t-shirt, as though they belonged there.

jake stirred slightly, his body reacting to your small movements. his eyes opened slowly, still heavy with sleep, and as he looked down at you, his messy hair and sleepy expression only made your heart race more. his grip on your waist tightened slightly, pulling you just a little closer, as if to confirm that you were real.

“hi,” you said softly, a smile tugging at your lips.

“hey,” he replied, his voice raspy from sleep, one hand lazily leaving your waist to rub the sleep from his eyes. even in his groggy state, his gaze was soft, lingering on you with that same intensity from last night.

he shifted, propping himself up slightly against the arm of the couch. his hands moved to your waist again, gently guiding you so that you were now straddling his lap. the movement felt effortless, as if the two of you had done this a hundred times before. your heart was beating out of your chest, but something about this felt... right.

you instinctively rested your hands behind his neck, fingers playing with the soft strands of hair at his nape. the closeness was intoxicating, neither of you speaking as you exchanged quiet smiles. in this early morning haze, with sleep still clinging to your senses, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you. it was domestic, almost intimate in a way that left you breathless.

jake’s eyes searched yours, his expression thoughtful before he spoke. “i really want to kiss you right now,” he admitted softly, his voice low and sincere, never breaking eye contact.

his words caught you off guard, your heart skipping a beat. you blinked at him, your mouth slightly open in surprise, trying to process what he’d just said. before you could respond, jake’s face shifted, a flicker of uncertainty passing through his eyes.

“i’m sorry, was that too far—”

but his words were cut short as you leaned in, closing the gap between you. your lips met his in a rush of heat and urgency, the feel of his lips against yours instantly sending sparks through your body. for a second, jake’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly melted into the kiss, his grip on your waist tightening. his hands moved up and down your sides, fingers tracing the fabric of your shirt as if memorizing the feel of you.

the kiss was far from perfect, messy, a tangle of teeth and tongues, but that only made it better. there was no hesitation, no holding back. you pressed yourself closer to him, your arms tightening around his neck, and jake responded in kind, pulling you against him with a kind of desperation, as though he had wanted this for as long as you had.

time seemed to blur as the kiss deepened, the air between you thick with longing. you could feel the pounding of his heart beneath your hands, mirroring the wild rhythm of your own. the world outside faded, leaving only the heat between you, the sound of your shared breath, and the lingering taste of his lips on yours.

he pulled away to catch his breath before moving his lips down your neck, kissing and sucking on it and leaving red marks along his path. you threw your head back as you let out small moans, gripping the hair along the nape of his neck tightly. after taking his time on your neck, he pulls away and looks at you with a certain desperation in his eyes.

“i want you so bad, please.” he says, looking at you with pleading eyes, waiting for you to give him the okay. you nodded at him quickly before he let out a small groan and picked you up to lay you down on the couch, hovering over you before continuing to kiss you, kissing down your neck again before grabbing the hem of your t shirt and pulling it over your head. you let out a small moan as kissed your exposed chest, his hands wrapping around your back to unclasp your bra, slipping it off your arms and discarding it somewhere on the floor in your living room. 

“so pretty…” he muttered to himself as he continued to kiss down your body. your hands tangled into his hair, grabbing at the roots of his brown locks and tugging slightly. you let out a small whine of impatience, pushing his head down towards your core softly.

“jake please,” you said breathily, not even sure what you were asking for. 

“please what baby?” he asked you, coming up from his spot over your lower stomach to kiss your jawline

“want you so bad don’t tease,” you said with a pout, looking up at him with pleading eyes as he had done to you before.

“shh be patient princess, i promise i’m gonna take good care of you,” he said to you before kissing your lips softly and returning back to where he was on your lower stomach. he moved down a bit more to kiss your core over the sweats you were wearing, watching as you grabbed onto the cushions next to you in frustration.

he chuckled to himself before hooking his fingers on the waistband of your pants and pulling them down, exposing the black lacy pair of underwear you had on. he swears he practically salivated at the sight, wanting to feel you on his tongue right now, but also wanting to prolong this moment forever. you bucked your hips up towards his mouth, trying to get more friction against your core. he kissed the insides of your thighs before pulling your underwear to the side and licking a stripe right up your folds. you let out a loud whine at the sensation of him where you’ve wanted him this entire time.

“mm you taste so sweet princess,” he said, dipping his head down for another taste of you. he suckled on your clit as his hands were wrapped around your thighs, holding you down onto his face so you couldn’t move off of him. he was devouring your core like he was a starved man, licking and sucking your clit while also putting his tongue inside your hole ever so often. you grasped at the couch cushions next to you before one of you hands flew to his head, grabbing at his hair and the other moved to grab your boob, playing with and pinching your nipple.

he moved one of his hands up to play with your other boob, using his other hand to finger you, sticking two of his fingers inside you while still sucking on your clit and playing with your boob, the sensation of everything hes doing making your mind practically break, barely even able to think about anything other than his mouth on you. you felt your high approaching, the familiar knot in your stomach tightening as he continued his ministrations on your body. as your orgasm hit, he continued eat you out through it, slowing his finger and bit but keeping his mouth on your clit. once you had stopped shaking and calmed down, he pulled away, licking his lips and sucking your juices off his fingers.

“did so good for me baby, taste so good,” he said as he finished cleaning your essence off his fingers. you pushed yourself off the couch and onto your still weak legs, standing at the edge of the couch about to sink down onto your knees before jake stopped you, grabbing your forearm and pulling you onto his lap.

“as much as i would love to feel your mouth around me, i need to be inside you. we can save that for next time,” he tells you with a wink, lifting you up for a moment so he can pull his pants and underwear down, his hard on slapping against his stomach as he lets you settle back down on his lap, leaning forward to suck on one of your nipples and taking your other boob in his hand. your hand tugged at the hem of his t shirt, signaling to him that you wanted it off. he chuckled before leaning back and tugging his shirt off, letting you ogle at his chiseled abs and chest. you ran a finger down his abs, tracing the lines as he watched you, hands moving to your ass and massaging it. he pulled your underwear to the side and let you sink down onto his dick.

you both let out small moans and whines, leaning forward to bury your head in his neck, moaning into it and sucking small hickies onto it. you bottomed out on him, sitting there for a second to let yourself adjust to his size. he throws his head back on the couch, closing his eyes and letting out a small ‘fuck’ as you sit on him, he looks back at your face, lip slightly bit and eyes squeezed shut.

“please move princess, i can’t do this,” he asks you, rubbing one of his hands up and down your back soothingly. you opened your eyes and obliged to his request, slowly lifting off him so you can sink back down, repeating this until you have a steady pace, your legs burning a bit as you fight to lift off him. your pace quickens as you rest your hands on his shoulders, grabbing onto them to ground yourself.

“fuck jakey i cant ‘s too much need help,” you say to him with a pout, tears pricking at your eyes in frustration.

“aw baby need my help? its okay i got you,” he says as he picks you up off of him and puts you face down ass up on the couch, settling behind you before pushing himself into you again, his pace quick and deep, not giving you a moment to breathe. you fisted at the blanket still lying on the couch from last night, grabbing it and burying your face into it to stifle your moans. you could feel his hips being to stutter, his pace faltering a bit as you guessed he was close to finishing. you were close again too, reaching a hand down to play with your clit to help you finish at the same time as him. jake watched as your hand went down to your core and he swears it pushed him over the edge, shooting his cum deep inside you right as your second orgasm hit you, your legs shaking as you clenched around him, milking his cock. 

he pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to overstimulate you anymore, before picking you up to lay you back against him.

“mm, go to my room ‘m sleepy,” you said to him before he could settle down, letting him pick you up and walk to the bedroom he had seen you exit the night before. the bed was still freshly made from not being slept in, but before he placed you in bed he took you to the bathroom, placing you on the toilet so you could pee, and then grabbing a few wipes to clean you up. he picked you up again, walking out to your bedroom and placing you on the bed, tucking you into the freshly made sheets and getting in bed next to you. you pull him against you, throwing one of your legs over him as you bury your face into his chest as he wraps his arms around you, letting his smell intoxicate your senses. you felt him kiss the top of your head before drifting off to sleep, feeling secure in his arms as he holds you.

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you woke up again later that morning, the bed next to you noticeably empty. groggily, you reached for your phone on the nightstand to check the time. 11:24 a.m. blinked back at you in soft, digital numbers. as you shifted to sit up, a dull ache spread through your legs and core, reminding you of the ministrations of the morning. you winced slightly, muscles protesting at the movement. but your mind quickly shifted to the more pressing question—where was jake?

slowly, you got out of bed, walking with a slight limp as you made your way toward the living room. the sounds of activity in the kitchen caught your attention, and when you peeked in, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front of you.

jake stood there, a mess of pancake batter smeared across his arms and face, frantically attempting to balance cooking pancakes, bacon, and eggs all at once. from the look of it, it wasn’t going very well. the pancakes were sticking to the pan, some slightly burnt around the edges, while the bacon seemed dangerously close to being overcooked. he was muttering something under his breath, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

you bit back a giggle, finding his distressed state both endearing and hilarious. you stayed back for a moment, just watching him as he tried to flip a pancake, only for it to fall apart mid-air, half of it splatting onto the stove.

“this is a lot harder than they make it seem,” he muttered to himself, his frustration growing. “how am I supposed to tell when one side is cooked? every time I try to flip them, they just fall apart. then when I focus on the pancakes, the bacon burns... and oh my gosh, i forgot about the eggs…” he scrambled to pull the bacon off the burner before it became any more charred than it already was.

you couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer, a soft giggle escaping your lips. jake froze, turning toward you with a sheepish grin, as if just now realizing how ridiculous the scene must look. his hair was tousled, and the smear of pancake batter on his face made him look like a kid caught in the middle of a food fight.

without a word, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his back, resting your cheek against the broad expanse of his shoulder. the warmth of his body was comforting, familiar. you pressed a small kiss against his shoulder blade, smiling to yourself as you felt him relax under your touch.

he turned his head to look at you, his eyes soft but amused. “i’m trying,” he said with a sigh, “but i think i’m in over my head here.”

you glanced at the stove, seeing the evidence of his valiant but slightly chaotic efforts. with a soft chuckle, you gave him a playful nudge. “i can see that. but don't worry, i’ve got this. go sit down before you burn the kitchen down.”

jake laughed, his shoulders sagging in relief as you motioned for him to sit at the counter’s barstools. he wiped at the pancake batter smeared on his forearms, then gave you a grateful smile. “you sure? because I’m about two seconds away from calling for takeout.”

you shook your head with a grin. “i’ll save breakfast. just sit tight,” you said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before moving back to the stove

jake took a seat, watching as you moved effortlessly around the kitchen, turning down the heat on the stove and rescuing the pancakes from total disaster. as you whisked together a fresh batch of eggs, you could feel his eyes on you, but instead of the tension from earlier, it was a warm, lingering gaze that made your heart flutter.

“not gonna lie, I’m a little impressed,” jake admitted, resting his chin on his hand as he watched you in awe. “i thought i could handle breakfast, but clearly i was wrong.”

“you had the right idea,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder with a smirk. “execution could use a little work though.”

he chuckled, leaning back in the chair. “i’ll leave the culinary stuff to you then. i’ll handle... well, anything that doesn’t involve flipping pancakes.”

“deal.”

within a few minutes, you had managed to salvage the meal, serving up perfectly golden pancakes, crisp bacon, and fluffy scrambled eggs. you slid a plate in front of jake, who gave you an exaggerated look of gratitude.

“this looks amazing,” he said, eyeing the food with genuine appreciation. “you’re a lifesaver.”

you joined him at the counter, sitting down next to him with your own plate. “well, it’s the least I could do after you tried so hard. but next time? maybe stick to something simpler, like toast.”

he laughed, taking a bite of his food. “yeah, noted.”

the two of you ate in comfortable silence, the clinking of cutlery the only sound in the air. you glanced up at him every now and then, noticing the subtle bounce of his leg under the counter. his hands fiddled with the edge of his plate, eyes occasionally darting to you as if he was trying to work up the courage to say something. you leaned forward slightly, concern softening your features.

“you okay?” you asked, your voice gentle but curious.

"hm? oh yeah, i’m fine,” he replied with a small chuckle, though his tone was a bit too casual, unconvincing. his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

you raised an eyebrow, sensing there was something more on his mind. jake inhaled deeply, his chest rising with a nervous breath before he finally spoke, the words tumbling out quickly, almost all at once.

“i was just wondering if, maybe, you wanted to go on a date with me? a real one, like at a restaurant or something fancy like that,” he asked, his voice tinged with nervous excitement. he kept his gaze on you, but you could see the flicker of doubt in his eyes.

a soft giggle escaped your lips at how flustered he sounded. you turned to face him fully, your heart warming at how endearing his awkwardness was. reaching out, you gently took one of his hands in yours, threading your fingers through his. his hand felt warm and solid in your grasp, a reassuring touch as you smiled up at him.

“jake,” you said, giving his hand a light squeeze. "you really think after everything that happened last night and this morning i would say no to going on a date with you?”

his eyes widened for a moment, like he hadn’t even thought of that possibility. you grinned, enjoying the way his nervous energy shifted into something more relaxed as you continued.

“of course i’ll go on a date with you. to a restaurant, somewhere fancy... whatever you want,” you teased, repeating his words back to him with a playful tone and a soft smile.

jake let out a long sigh of relief, a smile breaking across his face as he dramatically placed his free hand over his heart. "oh thank god. i was so worried you were going to say no. that would’ve been really embarrassing, especially after... well, everything.”

he glanced at you, his expression a mix of humor and sincerity, like he still couldn’t quite believe his luck. you leaned closer, pressing a light kiss to the back of his hand before pulling away.

“well, you don’t have to worry about that," you reassured him. "i’m looking forward to it.”

the tension between you melted, replaced by the easy warmth that had been there since the night before. jake’s eyes lingered on yours for a moment longer, his leg finally still as the nervous energy dissipated. you could feel the shift in the air between you, something that felt more real, more grounded, like the beginning of something truly special.

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months had passed, and your new apartment was still half-filled with unpacked boxes, yet it already felt like home. the sunlight streamed through the window as you stood in the living room, trying to make sense of where to hang the last picture frame. jake was on the floor, fumbling with the assembly of a coffee table, muttering curses under his breath.

“you sure you don’t need help?” you teased, leaning against the doorway with a smile.

he glanced up, flashing you a sheepish grin. “i’ve got it. i think.” then, after another failed attempt to fit the legs together, he sighed dramatically. “okay, maybe not. wanna come rescue me?”

you laughed, walking over to him. kneeling beside him, you grabbed the instruction manual, skimming over it quickly. “you’re hopeless,” you teased, nudging him gently with your shoulder.

“hopeless?” he echoed, pretending to be offended. “i got us this far, didn’t i?”

“barely,” you retorted with a smirk, handing him a screwdriver.

as you worked together on the table, the soft hum of music from your phone filled the background. the moment was calm, but it felt familiar, like it always had when you were with jake. comfortable, easy.

“i was thinking about something earlier,” jake said after a quiet pause.

“oh yeah?” you glanced up at him as you tightened one of the screws.

“the night we met. at that party. you remember it?” He leaned back slightly, reminiscing with a small smile tugging at his lips.

you rolled your eyes playfully. “how could I forget? you were the only guy there not trying to impress people.”

jake laughed, shaking his head. “i was definitely trying to impress you. i just didn’t know how.”

you grinned at the memory, sitting back on your heels. “really? because i distinctly remember you spilling your drink all over your shoes when you tried to come over and talk to me.”

he winced. “okay, yeah, that was not my smoothest moment. but hey, you laughed. that was a win in my book.”

“i laughed because you were adorable. completely flustered,” you said, nudging him again.

he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “i had no idea what to say. you looked so cool, like you had everything figured out. i was just the guy trying not to trip over his own feet.”

“you were cute,” you admitted with a soft smile. “i remember thinking you were different from everyone else there. you weren’t trying too hard, and you weren’t putting on an act. that’s what i liked.”

jake’s smile softened as he met your gaze. “and now look at us. from that messy party to... this.”

he gestured around the apartment, the boxes, the half-assembled furniture, and the growing life you two were creating together.

“it’s crazy, isn’t it?” you said, leaning against him. “If someone told me that night we’d be living together, I would’ve never believed them.”

“i had a feeling,” he said softly. “i mean, i didn’t know it then, but there was something about you. even from that first awkward conversation, i knew i didn’t want it to be the last.”

you looked at him, your heart swelling with affection. “i’m glad you didn’t give up after the drink spill.”

“hey, it was part of my charm,” jake teased with a grin, squeezing your hand.

“sure, let’s call it that,” you joked, resting your head on his shoulder.

jake wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as you both sat back, admiring the space that was slowly becoming your shared home. the silence between you was comfortable, like a warm blanket of memories.

“i still can’t believe how nervous I was to ask you out that morning,” jake said after a while, his voice filled with amusement. “i was convinced you’d say no.”

you laughed. “how could i? after all that... there was no way I was letting you get away.”

he leaned in, kissing the top of your head gently. “well, good thing you didn’t. because this... all of this feels right.”

you smiled, closing your eyes as you sank into the moment. “yeah. it does.”

as you sat there together, the apartment around you still in progress, you realized that it didn’t matter if things were perfect. the only thing that mattered was that you were building it together. from that party where you first met to this shared life, every step along the way had brought you closer, turning small moments into something lasting and real.

and as jake pulled you even closer, you knew that this was just the beginning of everything you both still had to look forward to.

[parkerluvsu]

Boyfriend Art going to a boys night out and getting drunk and Patrick calling you to go get your boyfriend because he's been talking about you the whole time and talking about how much he is in love with you and all and when you go back home things lead to a hot makeout session while he's telling how much he's so lucky to be your boyfriend and how he is so obsessed with you

this is so cute omg.. i need bf art in my life so bad!!!

all you wanted was a chill night in, no parties, no loud neighbors, and no hangovers. when art said that patrick invited him to a frat party on the other side of campus, sitting at the foot of your bed with puppy dog eyes, you couldn't say no. but, you made him promise not to come back too drunk or too late. art agreed, letting patrick drag him to the party around 10.

it was almost 1 now, and you were cuddled up in your blankets binge watching your favorite show when you felt your phone vibrate from under the mountain of fuzzy fabric. patricks caller id flashed on the screen as you accepted the call.

"patrick? what's up, are you guys okay?"

"hey um.. art got pretty wasted tonight.. he got a hold of some pink whitney and you know how he gets so.."

you sigh, shaking your head, before you hear some rustling on the other end of the line.

"'s this her?" you hear a little hiccup from the voice you now recognize as arts. "'m sorry baby i didn't know it was g'nna get m' drunk.." another hiccup "feels like the room is spinning.." another rustle.

"yeah well.. you heard him.. can you come pick him up? ill send you our location"

you agree to drive over, pulling on one of arts old hoodies and driving over as quick as you can. pulling up at the frat house, you see a scattering of red solo cups on the lawn, along with some beer cans. you wait in your car for a minute before you see patrick helping art down the front steps, and you open your door when patrick helps strap art in. patrick pokes his head through the window, "again, sorry about this, he just kept asking for you.." patrick sighs, looking at art, whose gaze is fixed only on you. arts watery blue eyes look at you like you've hung the stars themselves, and it isn't even only because he's drunk, he looks at you that way always.

the drive home is quiet, with arts occasional hiccups disrupting the silence. art leans over when you're at a stoplight, the red lights illuminating his face, "'m really sorry.. i didn't wan' you to be angry at me" he says, pouting at you as you continue the drive home. you shake your head, "im not mad at you art, i just always want you to be safe okay? i don't want to have to worry about you so much.." art hangs his head and nods, falling quiet again.

by the time you arrive at your dorm, arts still hiccuping, stumbling over his own feet as you usher him into your room, not keen of waking anyone up at the early hour of the morning. art flops onto your bed, his head bouncing on your pillow, the movement causing a groan to erupt from his lips.

you root around in your drawers, trying to find an old pair of his boxers and a shirt. suddenly, you feel a pair of hands wrap around your waist, a head presses against your neck and you feel a sigh of warm air against you. "art.. go sit on the bed" you sigh, pulling some clothes out for him. art presses wet kisses along your shoulder, nuzzling his nose into your skin. "'m sorry.. please f'give me.. didn't mean to make you angry" he whines, squeezing your waist. you shake you head, turning around in his arms, "im not angry art.. please go sit down so you can change.." you sigh, breaking away from his arms and leading him to the bed. art sits on the edge of the bed, his alcohol-muddled brain causing him to stare off into space. you tap art's arms, silently asking him to raise them, pulling his stained shirt off of his body with ease.

you can't deny it.. any anger that was in your body when you drove art home is gone now, seeing his slightly messy hair and pale skin glowing in the moonlight only makes you want to take care of him more. once his shirt is off you hand him an older t-shirt he left at your place, watching him put it on before handing him some pajama pants. you get art situated in bed, walking to the kitchen and filling up a glass of water and walking back.

art looks up at you blearily, tucked into the corner of your bed and where it meets the wall. you slide into bed next to him, feeling his body slump into yours once again, his face smushed into your shoulder. his hiccups have gone now, just soft breaths against your skin. it's completely silent, until art takes a sharp breath in. "i- i don' think patrick told you but everyone at the party was so annoyed with me.. couldn't stop talking about you.." that catches your attention, making your heart thump in your chest. "i swear patrick wanted to kill me, i know he's just jealous though.." you can't help but fall for the bait, "whys he jealous?" you ask. art presses closer to you, his nose almost touching yours, "cuz you're perfect.. 'n sweet 'n amazing.." he presses a small peck on your lips for each word, a tipsy smile emerging on his face. his smile is infectious, and you can't help but kiss him back, smiling against his lips, "is that so?" you add. he huffs against you, letting you take the lead against his clumsy lips. you can still taste the sweet liquor on his lips, almost making you feel intoxicated yourself. art leans into you more, placing his hands on your knees and moving further. "'s true.. 'm fuckin' obsessed with you.." he groans out, now growing more confident in his movements.

you let the kiss grow more heated until you feel arts hands starting to creep under your shirt, and you pull away slowly, letting a string of drool connect you. art blinks at you, confused. "why'd you stop?" he practically pouts. "you're drunk art, you know i love you but you gotta sleep this off" you say, sweeping a thumb on his cheek. as if on cue, art yawns, only proving your point. he slumps into bed, pulling up a blanket from the foot of your bed. "fine.. but we continue this tomorrow, yeah?" he asks, one last request before falling asleep. "sure, sure art" you reply, running your fingers through his soft blond hair. you're sure art won't remember all of this in the morning, but you sure as hell won't let him forget it <3