#theives be hot tho

[harrykai-les]

I wanna have a great love affair with a master thief. We could do cons together and steal fancy and expensive shit, getting high on life.

Like some elaborate Ocean's 11, 13, & 8 type shit. Maybe throw in some Now You See Me style heists.

When the detective who's been chasing us for years finally catches us, it'll be because I wanted to fuck in some random risqué spot mid mission.

They'll barge in, gun raised, realise what they walked into and flustered look away or rush out. That would give us a small window to escape yet again, the rest of the team ready to hand off the stolen goods to us as we make our escape.

[chocoenvy]

okok so this might sound a little dumb

but

hot thief au

except the reader finds out about the gold blood thing before anyone else does and just kinda pieces everything together

but they also just so happen to be an enemies to lovers loving fiend

part of them is like "no you idiot show them and we can end this predicament now"

but the other side of them is like "hehe commit flirtatious blasphemy"

guess which side they listen to

Sexy villain theif au part one part two(? chronologically, it happens after this but it was written first)

I WAS SO CLOSE TO DOING THIS THO- BECAUUSE THEY'RE A HOT THEIF THEY'D PROBABLY NOTICE THAT THEIR BLOOD IS GOLDEN-

WARNINGS!!!: physical violence, mentions of imprisonment, angsty(?), cursing

Quite early on into your theiving adventures, you were getting petty revenge on Mondstadt. With your ever-growing sleath skills, you were in Mondstadt's city in the early hours of night. A cloak over your head and your pace casual. As though you weren't clenching your fists in your pocket to keep them from shaking.

You were better than what you were when you had first arrived to Mondstadt, bright-eyed and with a skip in your step. Then later when they had you in a cage, shivering and teary-eyed. No way to escape if you couldn't use the map to teleport away.

You still remember how you couldn't breath from how much you were crying. How it was the first time in your life where you were sure you were going to die or worse.

But you were better now, you could escape. You'd be okay.

You calmly - as calmly as you could - walked throughout the city. Since it was early night it wasn't too odd, but you'd still have to be careful. You were wearing a mask to hide your face but it was still suspicious. There was really no good way to go about this other than to be confident and act like you belong. And then steal a bunch of shit.

It started with the shops around Mondstat. Oddly enough, they were still open and you could browse their options and then with a slight of hand steal something from a shelf. Then, you went to the alcohol. Same slight of hand trick and what you thought was luck and you had safely smuggled a bottle of wine under your cloak.

Now, this was probably wine-induced as you did take a few swigs, but somehow you ended up in the church. Next thing you knew you were stealing the lyre der hymmel and teleporting outside the city gates.

You were stifling your giggles like a madman - which was more than likely wine induced- when a voice stopped you.

"You," He snarled, and you immediately knew who it was, "I saw you steal all of those items. Now explain to me your reason for it."

You turned around to look at him, stolen goods stuffed in your pockets and under your cloak. You grinned, "Diluc, it's very nice to see you Darknight Hero."

He unsheathed his weapon and you immediately opened up your map to get the hell outta there. But whether it was due to your slightly intoxiacted state, the fact you weren't completely used to your map abilities, or both, he struck you before you had the chance to get away.

You gasped, falling to the floor, however the map still remained in front of you. Quickly, you tapped on it and dissapeared just as his sword hit the dirt you were once on.

You were at the waypoint closest to Beth, the anemo hypostasis, cathing your breath leaning against the waypoint. You clutched your side where he had struck you, applying as much pressure as you could. You bit your lip at the pain, whimpering.

"Gah," You inhaled sharply as you carefully pulled your hands away to asses the damage just to see shiny golden blood twinkling back at you.

You blinked at the blood. You checked to make sure the golden liquid was indeed coming from yourself - which is was - before covering the wound back up.

"The fuck did they put in that wine?" You grumbled, laying down, "Is this why Venti is just a fucking idiot?" You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes. "Fuck, why can't they just leave me the fuck alone?" You bit your lip as you sobbed, stars falling down your cheeks.

You weren't sure when but you had passed out, waking up in the morning with your head feeling as though it was being split in two. The sun wasn't helping and you buried your face into the cloth surrounding you.

Wait- You hadn't had any cloth to lay on other than your own clothes in god knows how long. With that, you jolted awake, sitting up so fast your side pratically screamed in pain. Though it hurt like hell you ignored it and took in your surroundings.

A hilichurl camp. You were in the center, sleeping on the only makeshift bed they had.

"The fuc- wait." You quietly gasped and checked your side. It was bandaged up and didn't seem to be bleeding (even though you had just sat up so fast it felt like it had been torn open). But there was still dried blood on it. Dried golden blood on it.

Your head was really starting to feel like it was being sawn open but your silent panic was interrupted by a friendly slime gently bouncing onto your lap.

You blinked in mute wonder as your hands floated above it hesitantingly. The surprisingly soft anemo slime reached up and nuzzled into your hand, its eyes smiling.

"Shit," You grinned, though there was no amusement in your eyes, just fear, "I'm god now."

-----------

The hilichurls and slimes had sent you off with food and supplies you might need. You thanked them as much as you could and while they were sad to see you off, you told them it was dangerous for you to be in one place too long. You weren't sure if they had understood but they had let you leave with much reluctance after that.

You immedaiately went to the quiet mountains of Liyue. You needed out of Mondstadt.

"Fuck." you sighed, burying your head in your hands as you hid from the beautiful scenery.

You were god. Their god they've been screaming and hunting you down for impersonating. You could end all of your suffering right now, you could show them your golden blood and it'd all be over.

But... did you want it to be over?

Did you want them to be able to bow before your feet? Did you want them to know they were killing their god? Do you want to stop them by revealing your true nature? Or do you want them to continue to act like animals, to continue your game. So that finally, finally when you do reveal your true nature not out of fear but power, you can watch them grovel as they realize nothing can forgive what they've done. To you as a person and a god.

Your frustrated musings were interrupted by a spear whizzing past you, a section of your hair gone with it. You whirlled around to see Zhongli in all his archon glory. His hair, eyes, and arms were glowing an angry orange-golden hue.

Shit, not again. You groaned, standing up and donning your usual cocky smirk. Though, this time it was strained.

You can choose, you told yourself, clenching your fists, your smirk twitching, You could reveal it right now and end all of this. But did they deserve to know right now?

You scoffed and glared at Morax standing before you.

"How you been Morax?" You giggled.

"Silence imposter." He snarled, "I will not be hearing your nonsense today." He pointed his spear at you, "Die without struggle."

You laughed, opened your mouth and laughed as though it was the best joke ever told, "You wish Morax! If I die - and that's big if - I'm going down and taking all of Teyvat with me." You grinned, a mad giggle bubbling in your throat.

Zhongli's eyes glowed and he threw his spear at you again, to which you dodged, but a sword flew at you at well and next thing you knew a catalyst was throwing rocks at you.

Ah, right, this is Morax. Not the reitred Zhongli. You cursed, gritting your teeth as you dodged and a small rock grazed your cheek. It was nothing and hardly hurt, you merely breezed away. You seemed to disappear as you appeared behind Morax.

You reached to hit his throat in a non-lethal move but he swerved around, his sword swinging right into your face. You flinched and attempted to duck, but all of a sudden his sword moved and he had grabeed your face with his hand. You opened your eyes hesitantly to find Zhongli staring at your face, eyes wide, and his breath taken away.

You grit your teeth, "The hell's your proble-" Your breath died in your throat as he wiped the blood off of your face gently, and stared at it on his finger.

"It's-" Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and his voice shook, "Is- i-is i-it-?"

You pulled a switch-a-roo on him and grabbed his jaw, pulling him closer to you as your breaths intermingled, "Let's keep this a secret for now, okay?" You chuckled, a finger to your mouth, and you dissapeared.

Watatsumi Island was peacful as you panted heavily, leaning against the waypoint for support.

"Fucking hell Morax." You panted, sitting down to catch your breath.

You sighed, staring at the Watatsumi shrine, a place you were not welcome, "The hell do I do now?"

[puff-world]

I'm gonna rank every skylander and ripoff @jelloapocalypse

This will not be based in gameplay but design because fuck that noise any how les go

PART 1: MAGIC

Wrecking ball: [insert dead joke] -6

Voodood: dood you are like totally forgettable 3

Spyro: [insert joke about his face] 6

Double trouble: despite being forgettable, you survived -6

Pop fizz: he drinks mountain dew, truley a gamer 7

Ninjini: ok your fucking cool 8

Trap shadow: who 1

Star strike: yall remember those egg theives from spyro? 7

Hoot loop: CRAZY ASS -8

Dune bug: my apologies to trap shadow, who are you? -1

Enigma: you look like a wow boss 9

Deja vu: cute pigtails lazy name 5

Cobra cadabra: COBRA COBRAAA 7

Blastermind: kaos what are you doing here 4

Splat: dranie bob Ross 6

Pain-yatta: how are you magic dude: 7

Mysticat: eh 1

Buck shot: and eh 0

Over all score: 5

PART 2: UNDEAD

Hex: who's goth gf is this? 7

Ghost roaster: why did they scrap you? 7

Cynder: why are you here? 6

Chop chop: he has a bone to pick with you 7

Freight rider: you look like a common enemy 5

Eye brawl: ok ngl really fucking sick -9

Roller brawl: my bad this is the goth gf 5

Rattle snake: yall ever watch rango? 7

Night shift: I dont get it 7

Grim creeper: dopey but cute -6

Short cut: hesh gonna gecha! -7

Krypt king: chop chops top boyfriend 8

Funny bone: play dead! -6

Bat spin: bleh both literally and figuratively 4

Fiesta: drip 9

Wolf gang: London 8

Pit boss: this sssssucks 3

Chopscotch: your pun name is your saving grace or grave -1

Over all score: 8

PART 3: LIFE

Zook: [insert soldier tf2 quotes] -5

Stump smash: neat -7

Stealth elf: porn bait 6

Camo: you're not very camouflaged 4

Tree rex: man going hard 9

Shroom: mama mia -7

Zoo lou: uhm 3

Stink bomb: gross 5

Grilla drilla: isnt a drill counter active to the eco friendly drip 5

Bumble blast: [buck bumble theme] -7

Tuff luck: furry bait 4

High five: hesa pupper 7

Food fight: trigger happy rip off 5

Bushwhack: whack off! Wait? 3

DONKEY KONG: DONKEY KONG 9

Thrillipede: he gives a 1000% 8

Crash bandicoot: WOAH 9

Chompy mage: dr livesly walk 9

Boom bloom: coolio 7

Ambush: not expected 7

Over all score: -7

PART 4: FIRE

Sunburn: sqwaaaaa 6

Ignitor: kinda lit 7

Flame slinger: the writers were blind making him 4

Eruptor: I finna puke, in a good way 7

Hot head: kinda dopey but also really neat 6

Hot dog: stop drop and roll over: -5

Smolderdash: yall watch moana 8

Fryno: I'm kimda loving it -6

Fire kraken: he so dopey I love him -7

Blast zone: ignitors top boyfriend wait didnt I make this joke already 7

Wildfire: anduin if he liked fire 7

Trail blazer: my little arson 7

Torch: she hot literally 7

Ka boom: compensating much 7

Spitfire: lit but not in the good way 5

Bowser: look up @were-Ralph 9

Tae kwon crow: is this a fried chicken joke? 5

Flare wolf: furry bait 5

Ember: she was better in danny phantom 7

Over all: 7

PART 5: WATER

Zap: alotta spyro ripoffs 6

Wham shell: dont look at me with those big ol eyes 6

Slam bam: for being so chilled hes kinda hot 8

Gill grunt: this man goes hard 9

Thumpback: thumpback mountain 9

Chill: not really cool tho 7

Swash buckler: disney lawsuit 9

RIP tide: here comes the crimson chin -7

Punk shock: kinda cool kinda forgettable 5

Freeze blade: "I like your cut g" 7

Snap shot: yall play pokemon 7

Lob star: is mayonnaise an instrument 5

Flip wreck: [vulgar dolphin noises] 4

Echo: zap became a goth gf 6

Dive clops: scooby doo vibes 7

Tidepool: meh 5

King pen: 7

Grave clobber: excuse me what 0

Over all: 7

PART 6: EARTH

Terra fin: did he get fatter over time 8

Prism break: the pun was under utilized 8

Dino rang: picks up phone* "what's your favorite dinosaur" 7

Bash: awww rock pupper 8

Flash wing: theres the spyro rip off 5

Crusher: blag blag blah prism breaks top boyfriend 8

Slobber tooth: a pale imitation of bash 6

Scorp: sorry I'm a scorpio -6

Rubble rouser: uga uga -7

Doom stone: sorry but naw 4

Wallop: furry bait 5

Rocky roll: a lil guy 8

Head rush: I want her to kick my ass 9

Fist bump: hows it going bros its [insert n bomb] 4

Smash hit: yall watch ice age 3? 6

Tritip: pick up the phone a lil kid wants to talk dinosaurs 5

Golden queen: yasss queen 8

Barbella: once again hit me 8

Over all: 8

PART 7: AIR

Whirlwind: spyro ripoff again 4

Warnado: I like turtles 7

Sonic boom: good show 6

Lighting rod: move that cloud so I can see that lighting rod: 7

Swarm: buck bumble literally 8

Jetvac: kirby still better 7

Scratch: again 4

Pop thorn: oh hey it's that balloon I lost -7

Free range: I thought it was a piss joke

Boom jet: human??? 6

Thunder bolt: lighting rods less slutty brother

Gusto: oh my 6

Flip kong: MONKEY!!!! also Nintendo lawsuit

Storm blade: she so pretty 8

Wild storm: I dont get it 4

Bad juju: why are you here? 0

Air strike: bird shit every where -6

Over all: 6

PART 8: TECH

Trigger happy: he has a gun -8

Drobot: another one 4

Drill sergeant: show me your war face 7

Boomer: pfft 7

Sproket: kenzie from saints row 8

Bouncer: DR LIVESLY IS ALIVE AND HE IS AN IRON GINAT RIPOFF 10

Wind up: hit him so hell shut up -8

Spy rise: [sam Fisher voice] 8

Magna charge: yoooooooo 9

Countdown: soccer fans be like -6

Tread head: how do you drive that -5

Jawbreaker: he looks like an orc made him 9

Gear shift: robo waifu 7

Chopper: dinosaurs!!!! -7

High volt: he has a little blue line flag on his car 5

Robow: ok this goes hard 9

Dr neo cortex: jaundice 9

Dr krankcase: gangrene 9

Chain reaction: robo viking 10

Over all: 9

PART 9: LIGHT

Spotlight: must I say it 7

Knight light: palidins be like 6

Astroblaster: the only space themed skylander 8

Blaster tron: what's light about you? 0

Aurora: at this time of day in this part of the country 8

Over all: 7

PART 10: DARK

Knightmare: death knights be like 9

Black out: despite being a spyro clone hes really cool 9

Night fall: Lovecraftian ass 9

Starcast: slam bams emo cousin 7

Hoodsickle: you should be undead 0

Over all: 9

PART 11: KAOS & OTHERS

Kaos: DESTROY US ALL DESTROY US ALL DESTROY US ALL 10

Cyclops snail: theres a reason he was scrapped -10

Over all: 10

PART 12: RANKING TOP 10 AND WORST

10. Cyclops snail

9. Eye brawl

8. Head rush

7. Jaw breaker

6. Chompy mage

5. Fiesta

4. Black out

3. Kaos

2. Chain reaction

1. Bouncer

THE WORST: buckshot

PART 13: thoughts over all

So..after ranking every skylander, no I will not do enemies or trapped bosses, I can kinda get a method with them

Magic are based on religions and the arcane

Undead are often dead or malicious

Life are based on flora and fauna

Fire are based on fire, magma, and explosives

Water are based on ice and marine life

Earth are based on rocks and Crystal's with a few rough boys

Air is based on flight, avians or weather

Tech is based on machinery, metal and demolition and man made things

Light is based on holy and benevolent forces

Dark is based conversely on lovecraftian and malicious things

I originally intended on looking at all scrapped skylanders too but I realized there were too many so I only covered the one that was most well known scrapped skylanders

I also noticed some of the sensei's in imaginators were really independent of their element

And another thing was that some skylanders were dropped. In the original generation they had 4 skylanders and then replaced one for giants then again for swap force but the ones they keeped were given ultimate versions that sometimes looked wholly different and then in superchargers some where brought back again ang given new armor.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this look into skylanders history thank you and have a nice day

[raggydraws]

"Thank you! I promise I'll be useful. I can wake everyone up for dawn patrols, and check nests for thorns while you're out. There's no reason I can't have duties of my own now. I am a warrior, after all!"

—Briarlight

Brairlight baby I loooove yooouuu~~ Blossomfall why do you have the hardest designs in the Fandom?? Also I felt like drawing humans when I started this so y'all get human warriors too! It's, from left to right, Bumble Brair and Blossom.

Brairlight and her siblings never really seemed that close to me in canon, one part of me wants to change it so they're thick as theives but I also like angst and DoveBrair so imma go with that! In canon Blossomfall encourages Bumblestripe to pursue Dovewing and is usually there to comfort him and ridicule Dovewing after she rejects him. Meanwhile Brairlight, who also has a crush on Dovewing but respects her boundaries and privacy, is the one to tell Bumblestripe to lay off "She's obviously uncomfortable Bumble! Just her leave her alone for awhile ok?" I also like the idea that if Jayfeather ever let her in on the Dark Forest trainees and stuff she'd be really good at noticing odd behavior and signs. Imagine Ivypool or Thornclaw getting scratches and going to her to try and avoid Jay, she'd help them out and tell Jayfeather how many cats have come by with 'Bramblewall Scrapes'.

Jayfeather, if he has the time, tries to give Brairlight good dreams like running through the territory or hunting mice. He always listens to her excited rambles the next morning about her dreams. Sometime he'll tell her about his regular dreams and how odd they would be if he could see what was happening. Brairlight is definitely Pansexual and also on the Non-binary spectrum, not sure what exactly yet tho.

Whenever Blossomfall was a kitten she was shown sleeping a lot, so I imagine as an adult it's really easy for her fall asleep and stay asleep. However that also means it super hard to wake her up and keep her up as well, anyone who's had to get her for Dawn patrol can tell you it's not worth having her on it. She usually lags behind and complains the whole time. Also... I dunno if this is just me, but Blossomfall kind of mean to people? She was actually really mean to Ivypool and Dovewing, she's complained about Ivypaw feeling left out because of everyone only paying attention to Dovepaw (only to do something similar as an adult with her mother and Brairlight) and during her warrior assessment begged to not have her as partner calling her 'a bad and useless hunter'. Plus, literally anything with Dovewing and Bumblestripe, she always took her brothers side even if he was wrong.

I made Blossomfall a silver classic torbie to tie her to her older half-sister Feathertail, I like the idea that Blossom in particular looks the most like Greystripe but acts the least like him. Meanwhile Bumble and Brair look more like Mille and act more like Greystripe. I headcanon Blossomfall as demi-bisexual, and has only had crushes on 3 cats. (Toadstep, Ivypool for a hot second and, Rosepetal)

Honestly Blossomfall is on of those characters that has a completely personality in canon than in fanon, cause in fanon she's this soft, meek molly who never disliked Ivypool and is just her wife and nothing else. In canon she's rude and whiney, she and ivypaw/pool were rivals and she honestly didn't like her for half of OoTs, she was proud and felt so guilty about hating Brairlight for getting injured but couldn't bring herself to do anything about it! Like, if there were better writers Blossomfall could've been a really complex character! But she's not! She's just mean occasionally and I hate it!!

Plus...she got with Thornclaw...they killed off Toadstep whom she canonically had a crush on, and they put her with the patrol guy....Rosepetal would have been a better choice but the Erins are cowards.

[d3uteragonist]

Review of Queen Of Theives

I’ll give a short review of each route and give it over all first season a score of 1-7! This is about as spoiler free as I can make it! This is mostly personal opinion though so take this with a grain of salt

Overall: I REALLY like queen of thieves, it’s quickly climbing my list of favorites, much to my shock and delight. I was skeptical of a new series after the disappointment sweet enchantments turned out to be (I was SO excited u guys ;-;) and even more so when I found out the thief series had a Latina MC, but once I got to actually reading it, I didn’t mind so much. It was actually pretty nice being able to see myself in this MC despite my early suspicions and complaints. I really respect the lack of predictablity these routes have. They’re MUCH less inclined to stick to a status quo as Lovestruck loves to do, every character (havent read Leon yet) has a different pace of progression, some developing faster or slower than others and I really enjoy that. It’s less “it’s episode 10 so now we kiss” and more “the events leading up to this scenario lead to this specific level of intimacy to maybe we’ll kiss right now or maybe we’re not even close to that” which if you’ve read my post about Lovestruck’s element of surprise, you’ll KNOW how absolutely relieved I am about it. This series is a much needed breath of fresh air and I’m here for it.

Nikolai: ohhh Boy,,, my favorite one 😔 Nikolai Stirling is a pan criminal mastermind who stole my WHOLE HEART. If you’ve read or at least heard of Lucien’s route you’ll know he takes the “Cold unfeeling man” trope a little too far, being just plain direspectful and rude. Nikolai is the opposite. Yes he does cater to this trope but unlike Lucien he is given likable characteristics early on and has a very charming and intriguing character dynamic with MC, which is the highlight of the route. There’s also this constant level of sexual tension that’s very exciting 😳 The plot itself is pretty thrilling and fun, if a little surprisingly simple. 7/7

Vivienne: What a woman! Vivienne Tang is a striking lesbian falling under the “sultry seductress” trope. Before Zoe was revealed I was hesitant about a seductress character, since Vivienne was the first woman we knew about. However, when I started reading I found I didn’t mind one bit, although mostly for..... biased reasons. I personally really enjoyed the level of sexual tension Vivienne’s route had to offer, although I’ve heard from some that it feels one sided to them. Her strength tricking people using her sexuality (even though the actual heist has little to do with that) so I’d argue that it’s good writing if even the reader is left feeling flustered and confused. Personally I love the heist itself and it’s got some fun twists. 7/7

Remy: Geez! This route is just plain fun. Remy Chevalier, is a bisexual French conman. He’s flowery, dramatic and romantic which is always a good time. Although I won’t spoil anything, he does show surprising moments of possessiveness and if the MC wasn’t so quick to assert her own independence I’d be a little worried. Nonetheless his character is very intriguing and likable. The highlight of this route is actually the heist and developing MC’s skills. I loved the thrill and sense of accomplishment this season had to offer, although it has nothing to do with MC’s actual talents in art which left me feeling somewhat confused. I also didn’t feel like Remy felt particular feelings for MC until the end of the season which felt a little worrying watching MC fall head over heels in love with him. I still very much enjoyed this season tho 6/7

Zoe: Oof. This route is somewhat of an enigma in comparison to most of the entire app. Zoe Banks is a cool lesbian hacker. She has an aloof persona and MC’s personality sort of shifts to foil it. MC is much more hyper, borderline manic in this route. She almost feels like a different person, but that’s not what’s odd about this route. It’s the surprising lack of romance/romantic tension especially compared to everything else we’ve seen within the series. It’s pretty risky to have a route be THIS slowburn but Zoe and MC’s friendship is still definitely delevoped the most, but many readers might not find it satisfying enough. The plot and heist is still pretty enjoyable and I liked it a decent amount. I also found myself really liking getting to know Zoe, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed in the lack of romance. 5/7

Jett: Jesus christmas. This route is wild. You know how so many routes are advertised as hot and cold, adventurous and passionate, but turn out to be kinda normal??? Yea no this one’s for real. Jett Slater, a bisexual daredevil with an appreciation for art, would not disappoint if you’re looking for excitement. This is the sort of “Let’s blow something up and make out” kinda route.  Every route advances differently in terms of physical and romantic affection and if there was a scale, Zoe would be on one side with Jett on the other. There’s little romantic developments, which is made up for with physical development which doesn’t happen very often with Lovestruck. Jett also has the most upfront character flaws which, although add nuance to his character, can lead the reader to be a bit frustrated with him. A couple times he comes across as a jerk but at the very least, MC doesn’t let herself get pushed around.  He’s also got the best mini cg’s lol. In terms of personal taste I didn’t like this route that much, but I think that’s more of a Me thing than anything else. 5/7

Leon: ohh geez. Oh shit oh fuc my heart. Leon is the token het and normally I think making ANY character het for no reason is a little obnoxious, I’ll let this one slide bc he’s the driver he has to b straight. Anyways I LOVE Leon. He’s as sweet, gentle and as old fashioned as I expected. He’s a surprisingly very compelling character. The things that make him jaded and mysterious aren’t necessarily different or unique compared to some of Lovestruck’s other characters, but learning about him through MC’s eyes feels impactful. She’s not more naive or childish which is a big relief. I also really enjoyed the heist, it was equal parts exciting and romantic. And oof that ending!! That’s all I’m saying. 7/7

[chillybean5]

Tag Thingy

Thanks for tagging me @diemetzgermeisterin

Zodiac: Taurus Sun, Virgo Moon

Height: 5′7′’

Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs

Broken Machine- Nothing But Theives

Almost Sweet-Hozier

Dark Necessities- Red Hot Chili Peppers

LP- Lost on You

Grab the nearest book and turn to page 23 what does line 17 say:

“She’s not the type of woman to chuck out a cat. And if she never comes home, then I’ll look after myself. Either way, I don’t see any problem.” The Traveling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa 

Ever had a song or poem written about you?:

Not that I am aware of.

When’s the last time you played air guitar?:

Not sure!

What is a sound you hate and one you love?:

I can’t stand the sound of a metal spoon against a metal pot, it is similar to that of nails on a chalkboard and makes me nauseous. 

Do you believe in ghosts?:

Yes

Do you believe in aliens?:

Maybe? But space really kinda freaks me out.

Do you drive? And if so have you ever gotten yourself into an accident?:

Yes. And thankfully I haven’t.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?:

Yeah. Cigarettes smell better tho.

What’s the last movie you’ve seen?:

Into the Spiderverse.

Do you have an obsession right now?:

No not really. I really like listening to Hozier’s new album tho.

In a relationship?:

No, but I agree with @diemetzgermeisterin. If ya wanna cuddle feel free to summon me.

[pentacass]

imagine a khajiit do the little mhrrrp thing cats do if you wake them up

YEEEE I APPROVE

any pets?

Nope :(

dark brotherhood or theives guild?

Silly anon. Obviously the right answer is Morag Tong.

what order? aryenn x you, aryenn x trailer lady, trailer lady x you?

There can only be 1 order: ayrenn x me x trailer lady

naryu or queen aryenn? aryenn or trailer lady?

Ayrenn. and DO NOT MAKE ME CHOOSE

how would you feel if your lady from the trailers could only say the word Daddy, in the fashion of Groot?

w h y

if an argonian had 2 tongues, one of which was normal argonian tongue and one was human tongue, how would you feel if they licked you

I’d feel weird cos WHY DO YOU HAVE 2 TONGUES DO U TASTE MORE THAT WAY WHY IS UR BIOLOGY SO EXTRA

would you date a super hot khajiit if the only thing she wore was a condom on her tail

Obviously cos she practices good hygiene during sex

dragons or unicorns

DRAGONS

thoughts on spocks gf from the recentish movies?

Unnecessary...I’m assuming it’s Uhura, right. I only watched til Into Darkness (and I mean unnecessary as in the romance plot is fucking unnecessary Uhura does just fine on her own thank u)

How long does it take cheesy meatballs to roll down a hill 69feet high if Mary had a little lamb it fleece were white as snow and everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to not go because it was an independent lamb and no bitch tells it what to do?

..........p a s s

You know ur writing is awesome when it gets rationed/saved for bathroom poop sessions to slowly savour over. :>

As someone who reads while shitting too I take this aS A COMPLIMENT TENK

if u were dragon which color scales u would have? wat corlor dragon u most want to fukc? wings or no wigns???

Obsidian but shiny enough to have an iridescent rainbow sheen when it catches the light just right. Wings. Uh. Pass on the dragon fucking qn

whats the 'be happy' - doggies thing about

My blog’s link to all the dog posts I rebagled.

tako bell o kfc

Taco Bell died in Singapore years ago so the only thing I’ve ever had since and remember the taste of is KFC so KFC

if u had to ask a random person a question, what would it be

I’d ask Queen Ayrenn to be my wife

wait who is vera i cant rmbr

My OC and daughter who is Hana’s gf but I’ve abandoned her I’m sorry my dear little Italian meatball

what the hell kinda goose lay a century egg tho

A century goose duh

bitcoin or hoarding gold like a goblin???

Bitcoin-hoarding goblin

How many lizards have sacrificed themselves to you this month?

So far, only the one that crawled under my bags and died

how long is ur right pinkie toe? if u had to lose 1 liimb which would u prefer?

As long as it needs to be. If I had to go out on a limb.....HA UR RULES MEAN NOTHING TO ME I’M KEEPING ALL MY LIMBS TYVM

[casuallydeliciousphilosopher]

Tagged by @imke14 :3

name: Like...my real one or? My parents gave me a stripper name unfortunately lol :P all my close friends call me Dez.

star sign: Gemini

height: 5 feet 6 inches. Or 168 cm.

put your music on shuffle, what are the first 6 songs that popped up?:

1: Otherside - Red Hot Chili Peppers

2: American Dreams - Papa Roach

3: King - Niykee Heaton

4: Wolves - Down Like Silver

5: Thick as Theives - Shinedown

6: Take it All Back 2.0 - Judah and the Lion

grab the book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?: Umm it's a textbook and page 23 is just a chart of the price of a big Mac in US currency in July 2013. Thank you college for my Big Mac expertise, surely this is information I will use every day.

ever had a poem or song written about you?: Not that I know of.

when was the last time you played air guitar?: Umm....never? I played my real guitar last night tho so...does that count?

who is your celebrity crush?: Jesus...do you want a novel??? Umm, Lesley Ann-Brandt, Emma Watson, Halle Berry, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Ellis, Chris Pratt...let's call that good cause I could definitely keep going.

what’s a sound you hate? how about love?: Fussy children. I can hardly tolerate normal children, let alone fussy ones. When there's a kid crying in a store I get on fucking edge lol. I know, I'm the worst. Umm, I like the quiet and bird noises, yep that's about it.

do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed?: All the goddamn time. :P I've never crashed, but one time when I was driving a Humvee it caught on fire for no goddamn reason. That was fun.

last book you read?: The Merciless III by Danielle Vega

do you like the smell of petrol?: Nope, no, nada.

what was the last movie you saw?: Thor Ragnarok

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: I had to be discharged from the military after I got into a fight with a Marine who fucked my back up real good. Anyways, I get to see a chiropractor twice a week for the rest of my life now :P

do you have any obsessions right now?: I always have an obsession with something.

do you tend to hold grudges against anyone who’s done you wrong?: Hell yeah. I'm a grudge machine. But only for really serious stuff, IDGAF about little stuff.

in a relationship?: Yep

Tagging: @ships-sailing-in-the-night @ms-aqua-marvel and @coilingearth

[despacitotm-a]

Nonnichi : Good morning, Vati! Can I ask what your three favorite things are about Yusuke? I'd like to get to know him more since you added him!

Good morning Nonnichi! Thank you for initiating Yusuke loving hours lol

My three favorite things about Yusuke? Lesse. There’s a lot to pick from. Oh gosh.

Number 3 will have to be how dense he can be sometimes. He’s very socially dense, as if there’s is only one way of looking at, and seeing and experiencing things, but whoo boy he’s taken for quite a roller coaster after he’s pulled from under Madarame’s tutelage. His dense, yet very blunt nature causes a lot of very funny moments which has me cracking up half the time. I’m so glad that he’s also pretty open-minded to learning about the world around him.

Number 2 would be his artistic talent. And this is probably just a big bias of mine considering my bae is an artist himself, but I find artists to be hot af :3c. Aside from physical appearances, I just love how absolutely raw an artist can be, and Yusuke is really no exception. His whole Confidant route is all about Desire and Love, and Hope, which I believe he was missing while with Madarame. In his dorm room you can see all his different works and just.. the love for art is so real for this man he’ll put it before his own needs (which is worrying. pls feed him)

And Number 1... God I was hoping writing it all backwards would help me come up with what I like about him the most, but I’m still stumped on anything that’s not physical appearances. I suppose his extreme loyalty to the Phantom Theives is something I’m awfully drawn to? Loyalty in people is just so?? very warm and whatnot, you feel? Yusuke seems like the kind of person in which once you’re friends, you’re friends for life (not even including how that trait is very similar to a fox or a dog), and that’s just something that resonates very deeply with me cause I’m the same way too. Once I’ve deemed us friends it’s very, very hard for me to consider you otherwise, and I feel it’s the same as him unless you do something extreme.

There’s just so much to like about Yusuke as a character tho Nonnichi, but thanks a lot for this ask X3

[harrykai-les]

So I noticed no one has really made fanfiction about Danny Ocean, the character that's a master thief, not whoever that other guy is.

Which is kinda sad bc he's a badass thief character which is apparently a type I particularly love. Because I am SUPER into the thieves of Ocean's 8. Which is like a bisexual MOOD.

We stan a badass thief with a heart of gold. But OH! Debbie, Lou, and Tammy had me SWOONING! Don't even gEt me started on how much I lOvE listening to Danny lay out the plan.

[jimmymack788]

Amazing

I wanna have a great love affair with a master thief. We could do cons together and steal fancy and expensive shit, getting high on life.

Like some elaborate Ocean's 11, 13, & 8 type shit. Maybe throw in some Now You See Me style heists.

When the detective who's been chasing us for years finally catches us, it'll be because I wanted to fuck in some random risqué spot mid mission.

They'll barge in, gun raised, realise what they walked into and flustered look away or rush out. That would give us a small window to escape yet again, the rest of the team ready to hand off the stolen goods to us as we make our escape.