#their relationship reminds me of one of my ex's in highschool

[warcats-cat]

Ooh okay for that ship or not ask game! Let's do a twofer, Remus/Virgil aaaand Roman/Patton?

Mmmmmmmok gonna start with the popular:

Royality: Ship It!

I mostly ship Royality because I ship LAMP. Roman and Patton work well together as the more emotionally driven and outgoing of the core four. It's not a ship I actively seek out but it's a ship I enjoy content for when it crosses my dash.

I think they would be the obnoxious couple that has a couples Instagram and tiktok and talk all the time about the dumb things they do together and gush endlessly about XYZ cute/thoughtful thing the other did for them. They're very close and their relationship is very strong.

Unpopular Opinion: not sure if it's "unpopular" but these two are an emotional time bomb waiting to happen. Roman's intense self esteem issues and Patton's self-sacrificing tendencies plus pushing down his own feelings in favor of others would go into overdrive in this relationship. I can see it turning unhealthy into codependency if they're not careful. And if a fight we're to happen, it *happens* and is loud wailing and yelling and crying and lots of self loathing and regret afterwords for both parties.

Inrtuxiety: Don't Ship It

What is their actual ship name? Why am I just now realizing I don't know this?

Starting with Unpopular Opinion - I just don't like canon Remus. He squicks me out pretty bad, even setting aside his "character" and what he supposedly represents being kinda all over the place. This isn't one of the four that I actively block, but I tend to skip over it if I see it in a fic.

To be brutally honest I don't think there's anything currently in canon that would make me ship them together, and I doubt I would find much of any in fanon/fics. I can see them as friends and/or estranged family, but not in a romantic sense. (Also idk if it's just association with the color green but I tend to see/headcanon Remus as Aro anyway...)

I think it's cute when it's a familial relationship! It's fun to wonder about how they were in the past, both based on canon references to their shared history and in fanon interpretations. I tend to generally like Remus in fanon interpretations a lot better anyway, so that also helps.

[stsgooo]

Look at Him.

✩࿐ summary: your attempts at reentering the dating scene is foiled by your ex-husband.

warning(s): past relationship, clingy!gojo, ex-husband!gojo, co-parenting situation, crack fic. wc; 1.6k

pairing(s): gojo satoru x fem!reader

a/n: this is purely just a goof fic because i've put nothing but angst out there so far sooo have a laugh. hope yall enjoy :3

“So, what do you do for a living?”

"A teacher."

"Oh, wow! What grade, subject?"

"Uh, highschoolers and the subject kinda varies on the day."

"Like a substitute teacher?"

"Um....sure, yeah! Substitute teacher."

"That's awesome. Mad respect, kids can be demons."

You were quickly discovering that the dating field had changed in the five years that you had been married. An endless back and forth about what someone did, what's their favorite color, what's their hobbies. Boring questions that you would ask your students on the first day was used in over the table date conversation. Until, until, they got to that question they so desperately wanted to ask.

Would you want to take this back to my—

There was a vibration against your thigh as your date started to go onto a monologue about how much he disliked kids. In all honesty, you couldn't really remember his name. The introductions had been awkward and a little nerve wracking— you were almost sure he had no idea who you were either.

You tugged your phone out of your pocket and resisted the audible sigh that threatened to leave you when you saw the notification.

Satoru please tell me why my beautiful, radiant, amazing, intelligent daughter just said her mommy is on a date. feeling sick to my stomach, don't tell me this is true.

You rolled your eyes. Your ex-husband had always been so overdramatic. His main focus was always on the bit that could come from a situation. However, this was a quality you do used to admire about him. His ability to make any situation seem like it was a funny happenstance that you'd never encounter again.

Now, it was nothing more than a nuisance.

Satoru oh my god, you left me on read. it's true. it's true. i hope you know i just threw up. i threw up everywhere. i might die. at least, tell me he's ugly. please god let him to be ugly.

A sigh, you typed out the quickest message you could without your date asking what's wrong.

You I hope you're not ignoring said daughter to ask me about some date. I'll be home later, please refrain from texting me.

You were about to set your phone down when another text came through. This one appeared to more distraught than the last.

Satoru o h your tone. it's over. it's really over. i might just kill myself this is the worst night of my life. y/n, i'm genuinely feeling sick. please, is he ugly? he must be boring because you're texting back.

You were almost inclined to remind Satoru you both had been divorced for a year already. That this was bound to happen and you two had, in fact, spoken about it months into the divorce. You had played with some 'what if's and there was a mutual agreement that the other wouldn't get jealous and be dramatic about the other getting in a relationship whenever the time comes. It was a surprisingly adult conversation.

You should've known better when Satoru proudly proclaimed he didn't care who you got involved with.

You Satoru, we talked about this. We're adults and we're divorced. Please bother someone else, like Suguru.

Satoru i don't wanna talk to suguru. i wanna talk to youuu (;﹏;) i can't believe you've done this. ten years. ten years of loyalty. im sick to my stomach.

You You asked for the divorce.

"Is everything okay?"

You eyes snapped up from your phone and towards your date. He had the good grace to be wearing a relatively concerned expression, eyeing you wearily.

You quickly tucked your phone back into your pocket, ignoring the insistent vibrations it gave to smile apologetically. "I'm sorry, my daughter had an accident and I had to, you know, send a quick text to her babysitter." It was easier to explain away a daughter than it was a clingy ex-husband who was well in his dissent into insanity. Really, you were doing this guy a favor keeping him in the dark.

However, his face still paled and he straightened. "You have a kidI'm so, so sorry. I just went on a two minute rant about how much kids are equivalent to demons." He seemed to spiral as he pressed his hands against his face, uttering curses to himself. "I get so nervous with these dates. I truly meant nothing by it."

You smiled in amusement, "It's no problem, really. I'm not exactly disagreeing." He peeked from between his fingers and blinked at you dumbly. "Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I don't agree. I mean, my kid can be a bit much sometimes. I love her, but she's a lot like her dad in that way."

It always made your chest blossom. The way Saori was a carbon copy of Satoru. From the rambunctious personality, to the piercing blue eyes, and white hair. Your genes hadn't won in the battle, but you were almost grateful. Satoru tried to tell you that she had your smile and your wit, but you weren't entirely convinced. She was Satoru and Satoru was her.

You were extremely lucky that he was a good dad.

"Oh? Do you mind me asking if her dad's still around?" His tone was indication enough: a daughter and an ex of some kind was pushing it for him.

You tensed up, feeling deep regret already. "Uh, yeah." His eyes shifted away and you reached forward, taking his hand. "But, he's not, like, crazy or anything! He's just a good dad."

Your date chuckled nervously. "I-I just don't want to get involved in some, um, some family dynamic."

You thought it was a little presumptuous of him to think this would go that far, or he'd get in the way. But you were too focused on defusing the situation.

"Oh, no, it's not like that! We've got a healthy balance, y'know? He does his piece, I do mine— that's it!"

He scrunched his face. "So... an open relationship?"

"No!" You press your hands against your face with a huff. "No, we're not together anymore. We just co-parent."

He opened his mouth to further question you when your phone vibrated very audibly. His eyebrows raising. "Your daughter?"

You sighed. "Please give me one moment."

With jerky movements, you pull your phone from your pocket. The assortment of messages that came where spread over the ten minutes you decided to ignore him.

Satoru okay, you've got me there. but my big heart is breaking. i hope he's ugly and he smells. okay, i spoke with suguru and he said i'm an idiot who should apologize. in my defense, i'm a little itty bitty drunk. and no, saori is not awake. papa put her to bed before bringing out the whiskey. im so sorry my beautiful deity. that not ugly, not smelly man is so lucky to be in your presence and i hope you have a good date. also i hope he gets hit my a car. (＾▽＾)

You I'm going to kill you with my bare hands. Genuinely, count your days, Gojo Satoru.

Satoru hot, hot, hot!!! (●´□`)♡ did he actually get hit by a car?

You Is there something you want?

Satoru him dead. and you home :((((

You You don't want me home. I swear to god, if you're on my couch, drinking when I get home, I will ruin your life.

Satoru promise??? ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡ but, actually, i wanted to ask your opinion on something

You For real?

Satoru for realsies. [Image Attachment]

Completely blinded by your irritation, you don't even hesitate to open the picture as it loads. Although you regret it the moment it does.

It's a picture of Satoru. He's at what seems to be the beach (must've been the fun activity him and Saori were going to join Suguru for), his sunglasses were on the top of his head, and he was grinning at the picture. One hand was resting against his pectoral and the veins in his hand was prominent. An obvious attempt at being charming and flirtatious. It was working too.

If it weren't for the fact that you knew him and were his ex, you might've just swooned.

"Oh, my god, is that him?" Your date was staring at your phone with wide eyes. His face even more pale than before. He started to shake his head as he stood, snatching his jacket from the back of his chair. "No way. I am not getting involved! I'm sorry, you're a nice woman, but I know when I'm not winning. And I'm definitely not winning against that."

Your eyes widened considerably, "What? No! Please don't leave. He's an idiot, I swear there's nothing—"

"He is... a hunk. I am not. In no shape or form am I at all comparable to that. Look—" He reached forward, grabbing your phone and holding the picture up to be beside his face. "Look at the difference! Model who has won Japan's hottest man at least eight times before he's 30 to me— Look at him!"

"It's not even like that!" You snatched your phone back and stared at him in frustration. "He's my ex, I do not want him!"

He waved his hands in front of your face. "I know how this will go. You think you like me and then your super hot and super sexy ex-whatever makes you realize the familiarity is good. Then I get dumped." He straightened, latching his hands onto the lapels of his jacket. "I just realized I am a side character. In my own life. Goddammit."

He barely glanced at you as he paid for the dinner, then left as quickly as he could. Still, you didn't even know his name.

Satoru oooo taking you awhile to respondddd still in love with me? (人◕ω◕)

[gluion]

the book of us — masterlist

non-idol!zerobaseone x reader

wc — projected to be 10-15k words per story under side a, 5-10k words per story under side b general genre/warnings — fluff, angst, crack, band au, a mix of college, fresh graduates, and highschool aus, crazy case of loserism from the zb1 guys (as it should be), music is the connecting factor <3 make sure to read every story's respective genre/warnings important notes — stories can be read as standalones but it's highly encouraged to read through all! all previous and upcoming y/ns will be referred to as __!y/n titles and synopsis are subject to change but plots/genres are pretty set author's note — happy 500 followers! you cannot separate me from my zb1 guys and day6... i'm excited for this series so please send strength my way <3 i hope you guys stay seated for this series :D thank u again to @vernyangel and @shegotthewoobies for the support and helping me create this universe! always remember that reblogging helps a ton and will help me gain traction :3

want to be part of the series taglist? fill out the form! masterlist

synopsis — listen closely to the stories of zb1 as they find themselves entangled in lives filled with friendships, passions, hardships, love, and of course, music!

SIDE A

kim gyuvin’s track: missing home // teaser

when kim gyuvin is forced to volunteer at an animal shelter, the last thing he expects is to be compared to a rescued dog. (and to fall in love with you.) — strangers to lovers to exes to lovers, small town au, summer au, fluff, angst, based on “i smile” by day6

seok matthew’s track: the ballad of a lovestruck friend

while everyone seems to know who seok matthew’s crush is, he refuses to reveal the identity to you. (now, why’s everyone calling you dense?) — friends to lovers, university au, fluff, based on “i like you” by day6

kim taerae’s track: the plotted invisible string

if kim taerae had any regrets, it would be not asking out his first love. luckily for him, he’s got another shot now. (how’s he going to mastermind it this time?) — strangers to friends to lovers, highschool & university au, fluff, crack, based on “wanna go back” & “chocolate” by day6

zhang hao’s track: on (your) strings

if there’s anything zhang hao hated, it’s double harmonics, paganini’s caprice no. 24, and the annoying viola player in orchestra. (so why can’t he stop thinking about you?) — enemies to lovers, university (master’s) au, fluff, angst, based on “i wait” by day6

kim jiwoong’s track: first day(s) on the job

although kim jiwoong is set to impress his boss, he’s unlucky to be assigned with the clueless intern who seems to always cause a mess. (maybe you two wouldn’t be staying in your jobs for that long.) — strangers to lovers, workplace au, crack, fluff, angst, based on “man in a move” by day6

SIDE B

shen quanrui/ricky’s track: eye for talent

as ricky plans to invest in the next big band, his eyes are set on the university crowd’s favorite bar for their breakthrough. (and the owner who always says no to him.) — strangers to lovers, university au, fluff, angst, based on “emergency” by day6

park gunwook’s track: lost in translation

although park gunwook wants to make his name in underground hiphop scene, he’s set on meeting the respected, masked rapper that took the community by a storm. (it just so happens that he didn’t know he fucked up his first meeting with you.) — strangers to lovers, university au, crack, fluff, based on “what can i do?” by day6

sung hanbin’s track: 8,000 kilometers worth

if there’s one thing sung hanbin wasn’t expecting, it’s being kept far away from you. (did you two have what it takes to sustain it?) — established relationship, angst, based on “about now” by day6

han yujin’s track: slowly bruising but healing

han yujin’s biggest enemy is himself, but you’re here to remind him of his worth amidst a sea of criticism. (all you can hope is that he’ll listen to your voice as he hopes the same for you.) — platonic, highschool au, angst, coming-of-age, based on “marathon” by day6

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

More tag rants!!!!!!

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[lionhanie]

lee riwoo ; everything i didn’t say

VERY angsty (be warned i cried), ex boyfriend! riwoo, first love gone wrong :(, i refer to riwoo by his birth name (sanghyeok), did not really proofread :P

word count: 1.4k

warnings: cursing, relationship issues (yikes), angst

this work is part of my boynextdoor as old 5sos songs series! ↳ if you want to listen to the song, link is here

a/n: i can't lie i think i wrote riwoo out to be kind of a douche in this but it was For The Angst ok. and also he's remorseful about it so... it's fine i guess loooool

likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!

sanghyeok is stuck in a loop. photobooth pictures of the two of you, the (now) dead bouquet you got him after his first performance, the hoodie that you’d always wear when you came over. he can’t look around his apartment without being reminded of your relationship, but he’d rather die than get rid of the remaining traces of you in his life. the two of you were highschool sweethearts; becoming dance partners at random in a club after school and the rest was history.

your chemistry was unmatched, not just while you were dancing together, but even when the music stopped, it was just you two in your own world. really, it was perfect-- everyone around you two was convinced you guys were going to be together forever with the way you looked at each other with literal hearts in your eyes. 

that is, until it was time for the two of you to part following your graduation. sanghyeok was moving a 3-hour train ride away from your hometown, making it much harder to see each other frequently. it worked for a while, he likes to think. every other saturday, you’d always wake up early in the morning to catch the first train over to your boyfriend-- but even then, you’d only get to spend less than a full twenty four hours together before you needed to go home for class on monday. there wasn’t any… bad blood between you two per se, but rather life seemed to get in the way of your relationship. 

“the way you held me / i wish that i’d put you first / i was wrong i admit, numb from your kiss / while you were slipping through my finger tips” 

sanghyeok was heavily involved in the dance club at his university, oftentimes running to practice immediately after class. practice /alone/ would eat up a couple hours of his limited free time, and the rest of the time he would spend trying to catch up with coursework that was slowly creeping up on him.

his texts become less frequent, and when he does finally send you a message, he’d never be active long enough to actually have a meaningful conversation. the two of you pinky promised that you’d try to call every night to keep in touch, but sanghyeok would often miss your designated calling time, explaining that he was still in the studio, or was stuck trying to learn the material from this week’s classes, or that he was simply too tired to call that night. 

“all the wrongs that i hoped would erase from your memories / holding onto a broken and empty heart / flowers i should’ve bought / all the hours i lost / wish i could take it back to the start”

maybe he was too naive to think that the distance would be fine-- that your relationship would be exactly how it was in high school, where the two of you had butterflies in your stomach each time you saw each other. he didn’t realize how neglectful he’d been until you called him in tears one day, a little past one am (and long past your usual 9pm call time, that he missed, again), when he was on his way back to his apartment after practice. huh? that’s odd. you aren’t usually up this late.

“do you even care anymore? i want you to be honest, sanghyeok, please.” your voice is coarse, it’s obvious that you’ve been crying, especially with the small hiccups you can’t seem to hide as you speak. “if you aren’t going to try anymore, we should just break up.” 

“y/n? baby, what are you saying right now? what do you mean we should break up?” 

you almost scoff at his words, in complete disbelief that /he/ doesn’t even know what he’s doing wrong. “this is the fourth time this week you’ve avoided our calls. jesus, have you even read any of the past texts i’ve sent you?” your voice breaks, filled with both frustration and utter heartbreak. 

“to be honest, i really needed you tonight. you know, you’re not the only one who’s busy. life has been kicking me in the ass lately and the only thing that keeps me going recently is the thought of hearing your voice at the end of the day, but now i can’t even get that! shit, i’ve been so patient with you, sanghyeok-- with us.” 

“hey, i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i didn’t read your texts earlier, and sorry for missing our call earlier..” he takes the phone away from his ear, checking the time and putting you on speaker. 1:15 AM. he hasn’t even started studying for the test he has in the morning. “but can we talk about this tomorrow? i just left the studio, and i really need to get to studying once i get to the apartment. and there’s no rehearsal tomorrow, so i’ll be able to call-”

“you don’t get it, don’t you? it doesn’t matter that tomorrow you’ll finally be able to call, it’s the fact that i’m always your last priority these days. it fucking hurts, sanghyeok. you’re my number one, and yet i can’t even get a text back from you anymore.” he stops in his tracks, listening to you on the other end of the phone. surely he hasn’t missed that many of your calls. he was almost certain he texted you good morning the second he woke up. he curses under his breath at himself when he looks at his notifications. 2 missed calls. over 10 texts from both yesterday and today, unopened. he must’ve forgotten. 

“we aren’t in high school anymore, okay? it shouldn’t be a burden to put in a little bit more effort for someone you love, even if you’re further away now… you always used to send me flowers whenever you missed me, or call me in the middle of the day just to hear my voice. what happened to us?” your sniffles stopped by now, instead being replaced with all of the emotions from the past couple weeks finally being aired out. 

“why am i always the one who wakes up at four in the morning every weekend just to spend some time with you? why do i have to be the one to sit and wait for your calls, only to see that you’re busy again? damnit, i just wish i knew you still loved me, sanghyeok.” he can feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. 

“with all of the mistakes i’ve made / from all the letters that i’ve saved / this is everything i didn’t say / i wish i could’ve made you stay / and i’m the only one to blame / i know that it’s a little too late” 

fuck. he’s crying again. he can’t recall how many times he’s reread the love letters you once exchanged in high school. they used to sit in a pretty decorated cardboard box on his desk, but his bedside drawer is their new home; it’s much easier to read them every night when they’re right next to him. he’s extra careful not to get any of his tears on your writing, just in case those are the last letters you’ll ever write for him.

if he had just noticed sooner… if he wasn’t so focused on himself, maybe he would’ve seen how much the person he loved most was hurting, all because of him. sanghyeok almost feels sick thinking about how you kept in your feelings for so long; enduring all the pain in hopes that he would turn things around eventually. 

“i hope you know / for you i’d sacrifice / to make this right / some day i’m sure / we’ll pass each other by / until that time…” 

and at the end of the night, when sanghyeok’s head hurts from crying for too long, and another tissue box is empty beside him, he goes for a walk. it’s his routine, after all. he’ll walk down the same dim path he walked on the night you two broke up, and he will sit on a bench and look up at the sky through the clearing between the trees. he’s waiting for a shooting star.

...by the time that star comes, he’s already prepared with his wish. he doesn’t even need to think about what he wants most in this world, because he knows the only thing he would wish for is one more chance to make things right with you.

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[tomsvouge]

Because I Liked a Boy

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺↣ -𝘠/𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 "𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘴" 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 "𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦" 𝘑𝘰𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭.

(𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘰: 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘉𝘰𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘚𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳)

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦:𝘩𝘪𝘪𝘪 𝘪𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳! 𝘐𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦💕𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 ♡

𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 lahjay10_,teehiggins,yourinsta, and others

Joeyb_9 #1 Fan❤️

User1- ummm where is Alex??

User2-obviously not here

Lahjay10_ -Nah she more like top 3… and not 2 or 1

Teehiggins- who 1 then cause it certainly not u

Lahjay10_ -I’m uno for a reason

Yourinsta- always and forever 🩷

Joeyb_9-🩷

User13- Alex was better

User4-yea better at using his fame and money y/n has been there since HIGHSCHOOL😂

User5- HOME WRECKER🤮🤮🤮

User17-Money hungry asf

User13-all the toxic joey fan girls mad at her for taking a picture with a friend MISERABLE

User18- SLUTTTTT🤮🤮

User20- She’s only a rebound for Joe 🙄he will be back with Alex in a week tops

Sitting in the studio overthinking… as always. Scrolling through Instagram when I see that Joe posted us. I should have just liked and scrolled. But no.. my curiosity got the best of me. Once again I was getting hated on.

I knew this would happen, I wasn’t dumb. Once you start dating a top quarterback all you receive is hate and death threats. Especially when his ex girlfriend is a favorite by some of his fans. Some fans are nice and supportive of the relationship but other are just unnecessarily hateful and comparing me to Alex.Joe’s ex girlfriend.

Alex was not good for Joe at all. All she did was judge him and use him. People only liked her because she was pretty and put on a act for the public when cameras came on. When paparazzi comes she’s the first one to answer all questions and sometimes even calls them to spy on Joe.

As I write on the paper all that comes to mind is all the hate I’ve been receiving. People telling me to kill myself. People telling me that I’m a slut and that I’m only with Joe because of his money. It doesn’t help that Alex is making shady post trying to get my attention. I can’t say I haven’t seen it but I also can’t respond. It seems like anything I do now causes an uproar between the fans.

Some time goes by as I hear a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

“Hey lovie” Joe said with a smile.

“So I was just driving and wondering if u would want to come to my first game of the season before you start getting busy with performances?” Joe asked

“Umm I would love too for sure but don’t you think with all the stuff that’s going on in the media would just make it a bad time?”

Of course I wanted to go to Joe’s game. I always go to his games. This started all the way back in high school. Guess some people that say I’m using him forget I knew him before the fame and fortune.

“I mean this has happened before but that doesn’t mean it’s right. But you also shouldn’t let it affect your day to day life..” Joe said

You sigh as you think about it “ I don’t know Joe, it’s still might be too much to handle right now..”

“Ok how about this. I’ll just get you a suite that way you’ll be in the comfort of people you know” Joe suggested as he strokes hair out of your face.

“I guess that would make it a little better than being in the crowd” I said looking at the paper in front of me.

Joe knew that you had been getting hate. And he knew that this wasn’t the first time. He hated seeing you like this. Seeing you insecure and depressed all the time. You constantly reminded Joe that the hate was not his fault but he couldn’t help but feel like it was. Joe does his best to try to get you out of the house and it doesn’t help that the house has your studio in it. He’s been taking you on walks, having movie nights,and going star gazing with you. Even after all that and more it was never enough to bring you out of your slump.

Getting up in the morning was always the toughest part of the morning. I look to the side of me to see an out line of Joe’s body. A sudden sound catches my attention only for it to be joe coming out of our closet with his jersey.

“Morning baby. I got you one of my jerseys to wear to the game.” Joe said with a smile on his face.

Uhhh sure I’ll wear it but what if people see me wearing it?”

“So? Fuck em. Only thing that matters is us and our love. Who cares if somebody doesn’t like us together. As long as we’re happy that’s all that matters.” He says in a soft tone while sitting at the edge of the bed.

I sit and think about what Joe says and he’s right. I shouldn’t let people from the outside looking in dictate how I live my life or how my relationship is. I’m happy and he’s happy. And that’s all that matters.

“Alright now enough sad shit we have a game to will and people to prove wrong” He said while smiling and yanking the blanket off of me.

I get up and head downstairs to eat breakfast only to see that Joe already made it for me.

I grab the plate of food and see that there is a note next to it. I pick it up and read it.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴!-𝘫𝘰𝘦𝘺

All I could do was smile at him. He always finds a way to make me laugh even when I’m in the darkest of times or at the lowest of lows.

As we’re getting closer to the stadium my mind starts racing. My heart starts going 2x it’s speed and my breathing quickens. Seeing all these people makes thoughts come to my head.

"𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴"

"𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦"

"𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵"

I’m separated from my thoughts when I feel Joe squeezing my hand. I turn to look at him after taking a breath.

“You ok? We’re here” joe says with concern on his face.

“I’m fine just thinking..” I say while looking down at my anxiety filled leg.

“Look at me”I look at him

“Nothing that anyone says is true, you know what she did and you know you are infinitely times better than she will ever be. Don’t let these people control you. You control you.” He said in a way that sounded stern but comforting at the same time. I don’t say anything I just smile and nod this time. Sometimes you don’t need to speak, all you need is to comprehend the words being said.

Once Joe and I got out of the car I start to feel better about the situation I’m put in. I’m just going to meet up with the other girls and I’ll be fine. Everything’s going to be fine..

It’s halftime in the game and the boys are not looking so good in the game. I look at Joe and it looks like he’s looking at the suite I wave and surprisingly he waves back. Didn’t think he could even see up here tbh. I stop waving at him when all of a sudden a drink and food is thrown at the glass. It startles me so I back up a little bit. Looking in the crowd I see her. Alex with a malicious smile on her face. Fans around her yelling hurtful words at me like “slut” “whore” “snake” “home wrecker” and “gold digger”. It was another thing for this to be said online, but something about me hearing and seeing the faces in person made it so mischievous more real. Not just a mind game. A nightmare. It was reality.

As Joe is looking over plays he hears an uproar in the crowd. He looks behind him only to see the suite glass covered in food. So much that he couldn’t even see you. He wanted to go up there so badly but he couldn’t. Halftime was over at it was back on to work.

The car ride back home was quiet. The only sound being made coming from the radio in the car. Joe knew you didn’t want to talk about it. You knew that Joe wasn’t the type to talk after losing a game. But that’s not the reason he didn’t talk. He didn’t talk because he was pissed at those people throwing things at the glass and yelling things at you. He was pissed because you didn’t even get to watch the rest of the game and enjoy yourself. You went back to the car and cried your eyes out in the back seat. All Joe did the whole ride was put his hand on yours.

Once Joe put the car in the garage you walked into the house and immediately went upstairs. You got in to the shower and just cried. You cried your heart out because you knew the sound of the water would drown your sounds of sorrows.

Once getting out of the shower you put on shorts and a hoodie. You looked at the hoodie and realized it was the one Joe gave you on your very first date with him. You two were cuddling and watching the stars on his trampoline in the backyard in high school. The memory made you smile a little. You looked into the mirror and did not recognize the woman in front of you. The sad drained and depressed woman.

Walking into the room was like walking into a room with people you don’t know. Quiet and tense. I got in the bed with joe and turned with my back facing him. I was drifting off the sleep when he spoke up.

“I’m sorry” he said in almost a whisper.

“ it’s not your fault. You didn’t know what would happen today.” I say turning around to face him

“ I know but I’m the one who persuaded you to come out..” Joe said. You couldn’t see his face but you know you wouldn’t like the saddening sight.

“Even if you didn’t convince me, it was probably going to happen sooner or later.” I say reaching up to touch his hair.

“The media asked about it today. I didn’t respond how I truly felt but I got my point across.” Joe said leaning into my touch.

“What did you say?”

“I told them that what has been happening and what happened today was very disturbing and disrespectful towards you and our relationship. And that any fan that has said hurtful things to you and did what what happened today is no fan of mine.”

“That’s very sweet Joey thank you” I say with a yawn.

“Hey, how about we go on a trip during the bye week? Just you and me. No social media” He says pulling me closer.

“Sound perfect” I say drifting off to sleep.

𝘛𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘥: @nolagriddy @ohlookitsasinglepoeceofpopcorn

[luvhhannie]

in every universe | y. jeonghan x reader

𓇢𓆸 synopsis: in every universe, judgement, betrayal and love seem to lead you and jeonghan to be destined to drift away. would there be any universe where destiny finally leads you two together?

𓇢𓆸 genre: romance, angst, mutual pining

𓇢𓆸 cw: major character death, cheating, self harm, suicide, references to nothing new, unrequited love, just angst man (not proof read)

𓇢𓆸 wc: 2.70k

𓇢𓆸 a/n: is this fic kinda related to my break up? who knowsss, get what you get from this fanfic. anyways, reblogs and hearts are very much appreciated! thank you for the support! 🤍

“let’s break up” you said as you stand firmly in front of your boyfriend, now ex, jeonghan. he looked at you sternly and sighed.

“okay.” he simply said. you gulped as tears suddenly fill up your eyes. you never wanted to break up with him, yet you knew that if he was the one breaking up with you right now, you would go insane. he suddenly opened his mouth.

“i’m sorry, really, i just don’t love you romantically anymore. we’ll still stay best friends, right?” he said. this is a healthy break up. you reminded yourself. you smiled softly at him.

“of course.” that was exactly a week ago before you found out he has been cheating on you behind your back. you were curious to see how he was doing so you looked through his socials when you saw he already had matching icons and bios with another person. you also saw that he has been commenting on the third party’s posts months even before your breakup.

“i just want you to be honest with me, jeonghan. was the reason for the breakup was because you didn’t love me anymore, or because you’ve been going behind my back MONTHS back into our past relationship?” you texted him. you only wanted the truth, you even dmed the other girl as you wanted to make sure that your assumptions weren’t real. yet her ignorant replies just proved your point that he knew what he was doing.

jeonghan denied everything you have said. you always trusted your gut feeling, so you cut him off completely, telling him that you were done with his friendship and lies.

“don’t ever contact me again, starting tonight. whatever happened to us in the past is nothing now. you betrayed my trust and i could never look into your eyes ever again.” you texted him, paragraphs by paragraphs, only for him to reply with two measly sentences.

“i don’t judge you for that but i don’t want to argue with you, proving that i am not a cheater. goodbye, yn.” that was the last thing you have ever heard of your ex. you always wondered if you did the right thing by cutting him off. but then again, he betrayed your trust and lied to you. you would’ve been okay if he said the real reason why he wanted to break up. this is the universe where your soul suffered the most. meeting him, talking to him and developing feelings for him over the years, finally loving him and having him as yours and you as his, then suddenly, ending as strangers all over again, but now with memories.

though, your soul might also think that the universe where you had passed away is the most miserable. in this universe, you had met jeonghan through your brother. you slowly developed a crush on jeonghan and began falling in love with him. from his sweet antics to his playful gestures. you were in love with him, so you decided to confess. the answer you got only got you in your worst state yet. you unfortunately caught a disease where unrequited love could kill you. either you lose the memories of the person you love to survive, or die loving the person you are infatuated with. your love for jeonghan was so strong you wanted to carry the sickness till your death, as long as you don’t forget yoon jeonghan.

in every universe, your love for yoon jeonghan is as powerful as the universal force. in every universe, you have found home in jeonghan, and so did he. in this universe, you and jeonghan were highschool classmates. you both had crushes on each other, yet no one made a move to one another, afraid of the other’s response. you two pined on each other, crushes slowly turning into love. however, on one faithful day, jeonghan finally decided that he will confess to you. unbeknownst to him, that was also the last day of you attending your highschool.

“i like you, yn. i like you a lot.” he confessed. you smiled sadly at him as you hold his hands.

“i’m so glad you do. i like you too. ever since we met.” you confessed back. you and jeonghan started crying and finally held each other’s body.

“i’m sorry, i’m moving away. i should’ve said something earlier.” you cried in his comforting arms. he sniffled and looked into your eyes.

“it’s okay, yn. let’s live this moment for now, okay? let’s love each other one last time here. promise me we’ll still keep in contact?” he asked you as he wipes your tears away. you smiled sadly.

“of course.” in this universe, no one cheated. but a promise was broken again. you and jeonghan never kept contact with each other, even during and after graduation. as time flies by, he already graduated college, and so did you. during one evening, one of his coworkers asked him if he wanted to go to one of his friends’ wedding. jeonghan being a good friend, he agreed.

finally at the wedding, jeonghan and his friend, seungcheol, waited for the bride to walk the aisle. seungcheol told jeonghan that his friend, and also coworker, joshua, was crying before the wedding started. joshua had told seungcheol that he was going to marry the most perfect person on earth and that he would die for her. jeonghan laughed at his story, thinking how silly the statements joshua had made when they finally heard the piano keys playing, indicating that the bride will soon start walking.

hearing the church door open, the guests started standing up and looking at the bride. jeonghan finally realized that joshua’s statement weren’t silly. the bride that joshua is going to marry really is perfect. the bride that joshua is going to marry is the same girl he dreamed of marrying back in highschool. he watched as yn walk down the aisle, trying to stop the tears coming out of his eyes. he silently watch the girl he has always loved smile to the guests, when both of them made eye contact. jeonghan thought that the world stopped spinning and everything was in stop motion. she took a deep breath and smiled sadly at jeonghan, continuing to walk towards her fiancé. jeonghan could only watch the two joyous couple in the background. finally hearing them both say their vows, jeonghan closed his eyes, letting the tears he has been putting up fall down to his cheeks. cheers and shouts erupted from the chapel as the newly wed couple share their first kiss. he knew at that moment, you have never loved him as much as he had loved you. he knew that you were never his. he knew that even if you deserve the love you have right now, he will never, ever, win it.

jeonghan’s soul might say that was the universe he had suffered the most. however, the universe where your mental health took over your body says otherwise. in this universe, you searched for treatments and help from professionals in the mental health field because of depression, and that is where you met yoon jeonghan, a psychotherapist. you were in your early twenties while jeonghan was in his late twenties. he has been your therapist for a couple of months now and has helped you a lot. despite his aid, you were still suffering from depression. the thoughts of you not having a purpose in the world and being a failure took a toll of your mental health. your therapist would always tell you that he’s always going to be there for you whenever you need help. there wasn’t any romantic intentions in his words, but platonic, a hint of wanted friendship. knowing you for a long time, jeonghan has taken a liking to you and thought of becoming friends with you. but of course, he still has to be professional.

“so, how have you been, yn? are there any thoughts that have been lingering in your mind?” he asks you as he usually does.

“i’ve been…alright. i’ve just been thinking of how i’m going to celebrate my birthday these days, since it’s next week.” you said to him. he wrote on his notepad as he listened to you.

“hm, that’s good. i hope you have a wonderful birthday, yn. how does your body feel right now? weak? good?” he asks you. you sit upright and blinked your eyes.

“my body feels okay. it’s just that sometimes i feel nauseous and tired.” you admitted. he suddenly stopped writing on his notepad and looked at you.

“have you been eating?” he asks. you nodded.

“yeah, i usually skip dinner though.” you said. he smiled softly and went back to his notepad.

“you should still try getting three meals a day. doesn’t matter how big or small the portion is, you need to eat.” he said. you looked up at him and smiled.

“yeah, i’ll try.” your check up went on for more minutes. as he finishes up the session, he suddenly looked at you.

“hey, yn?” he called out for you. you were already grabbing your handbag when he called you.

“yes?”

“i…i’m always here for you, you know that right? i’m your therapist, i’m here to help you. don’t be afraid to say everything to me. remember i’m always one call away.” is what jeonghan has said. but what he actually wanted to say was:

“i’m always here for you, yn. even if you only see me as your therapist, i’m also your friend. i’ll always help you no matter what.”

you and jeonghan always have a weekly therapy session, but the week after your last session, you never showed up. jeonghan thought it was probably because you were getting ready for your birthday. he even prepared a gift for you, a necklace with a clover pendant. he called you just in case you have forgotten your therapy session. it was unusual for you to miss a session. it was already 5 pm and you still haven’t answered him, even once. finally going past his “professionalism” agenda, jeonghan decided to go to your home. he drove to your apartment safely and knocked on your door several times.

“yn-ssi?” he asked through the front door. silence. jeonghan’s heartbeat started rattling through his chest. he suddenly twisted the door knob and unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t locked. he went inside your home and looked through every room. you weren’t in the kitchen, bathroom nor living room. finally reaching the last room, he opened the door to your bedroom. he widened his eyes as his mouth gaped open.

“yn?”

there you were, hanging from your ceiling fan. jeonghan could only stare in shock. dropping to his knees, he started breathing heavily.

did he not help you at all?

were all the check ups not helping you?

did he drive you to kill yourself?

was he not worth to be an aid to people?

he called 911 to report the incident and soon the authorities came, interviewing jeonghan.

he wasn’t even able to tell you that he wanted to be friends with you. he knew so much about you yet know so little about how you are. he was too late to tell you that he loved your company. that he loved you as a friend.

in every universe your soul has lived, you and jeonghan are destined to meet, destined to love each other, destined to leave each other. your soul always wondered, if there were such things as soulmates, were you and jeonghan one? destiny has always brought you two together, but also brought you two to fall apart on each other’s arms. were there any universe where you two meet, fall in love, and live your lives together? your soul always question this. in every death your soul has lived, it passes on to another lifetime.

in this lifetime, you’re just living your life as a choreographer. you have worked with countless artists and other dancers in your career. in this new chapter of your life, you were called to choreograph a dance for a kpop group you haven’t worked with yet. you have worked with countless kpop artists, from twice to nct. you were familiar with kpop and the industry of course, but you were excited to meet the group you’re going to work with.

“here’s their practice room, i’ll leave you to it. i’ll have my assistant to come with you in there. again, thank you for accepting our request.” one of the higher ups in hybe ent told you as you bowed to them. you entered the practice room, feeling a sense of familiarity, and saw several guys already stretching, blasting their song in the room. you were given a couple of weeks to create choreography for their new song, but you told them that meeting the group should be done first as creating a bond between the artist and choreographer is as important as creating an amazing piece. one of the males went up to you and bowed.

“oh, hello! are you ln yn-ssi? i’m scoups. i’m the leader of the group. it’s nice to finally meet you.” he introduced himself as you bowed back.

“yeah, it’s nice to meet you too, scoups-ssi. i already listened to the song a couple of times and have ideas for it already, but i really do want to create a bond with the team first, since i’ll be working with you guys for a couple of months.” you smiled at him. he smiled back nodded.

“yeah, for sure. i get what you mean. here, i’ll introduce you to the members.” he said as he gathered the group together. he did a small introduction of you to the group and they instantly welcomed you with warm smiles. you thought that dk, dino and vernon had the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen. meeting them one by one, you learned that they had units and you instantly clicked with the performance team.

“i’ve been a huge fan ever since i saw you compete with a contemporary piece at swf!” dino geeked over you. you chuckled at him and thanked him. you and hoshi were already familiar with each other, considering that you two were fans of each other. still talking to the performance team, you felt a gaze behind you. you looked back and saw the angel faced male. you smiled softly to him and bid your goodbyes to the performance team. you walked up to jeonghan and watched him stretch his arms. he looked back at you.

“hey”

“hey”

you both say at the same time. you two chuckled as you sit down next to him. you nodded your head, telling him to go first.

“oh, well, i was just wondering if we’ve met before? i feel like i’ve known you but i just can’t seem to remember” he asked you. he was thinking the same thing as you. you smiled softly and hummed.

“i don’t think so…but i do feel like we’ve known each other for a long time already.”

“i think so too, do you think we’re soulmates?” he joked. you laughed at his statement and walked away.

“if we were soulmates, i think your fans would go crazy to think that their idol is soulmates with a person like me.”

“hmm, better than a sasaeng!”

in this universe, your soul knew jeonghan’s soul, and so did his. your soul hopes that this universe will be the universe where you and jeonghan finally live your lives together in love. little did your soul know, another soul has been thinking the same thing ever since he has met a familiar warmth in this universe.

[aspenwritesstuff]

REPLAY: Connected

REPLAY Masterlist | w/c: 4.8k | Bang Chan x Reader

warnings: exes to lovers, angst, food, anxiety, breakup (recollection), reconciliation, use of petnames (it's Chan, of course there's gonna be some "babygirl" sprinkled in), a lil swearing

synopsis: The boy next door had been your first everything. First love, first kiss, first time making love.

And your first heartbreak.

Visiting home for the holidays and seeing his house next door never failed to stir up memories of your relationship. Whether by luck or sheer happenstance, he hadn't made it home since the two of you set off for your respective universities.

So why, for the first time in nearly four years, had he shown up now?

permanent taglist: @svintsandghosts

“All that I want is you, even if I’m a fool.”

It was Christmas Eve, and being back in your hometown for the holidays never failed to remind you of how much you missed two things.

Your mother’s baking and your highschool sweetheart - Christopher Bang. 

It was impossible to ignore either of them as you approached the bright red door of the house you grew up in, having to walk through the shadow cast by the Bang family home to knock on your own as the comforting scent of sweets wafted out through a barely-open window.

It was that smell alone that kept the incessant ache thoughts of Chris always put in your heart from becoming unbearable.

Your hand hadn’t even reached the doorbell before the door swung open, revealing your mother’s shining grin. Eyes that matched your own sparkled with joy as she grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. You laughed softly at her excitement, feeling your entire body relax as you were welcomed home.

“It’s good to see you, too, mom,” you teased as you were pulled into a ridiculously tight hug. 

“Hush, I’m allowed to miss my own child,” she tutted before releasing you with a smile, pulling the door shut to keep out the chill. 

“I missed you, too,” you admitted, slipping out of your jacket and hanging it over one of the many hooks protruding from the wall.

“Come, now, help me with the cookies and tell me about your classes,” You barely registered your mother’s words before hand was once again grabbed, your body being pulled behind her own, bringing you to laugh once more as she led you to the kitchen.

As per usual for this time of year, the kitchen was cluttered with different containers - all filled to the brim with various candies and cookies. As you crossed the threshold, you wished you could bottle up the fragrance in the air. This was what home smelled like.

You washed your hands before reaching into a bowl of rich-smelling dough, following your mother’s patient instructions as you rolled it into spheres and set them neatly on a baking sheet. As per her request, you launched into the highlights of your most recent semester of college. 

You spared her the more mundane details, though you knew she’d just as happily listen if you hadn’t, continuing to space the balls of dough evenly on the tray. Save for a few hums to confirm she was in fact listening, your mother stood quietly - hands busy in a bowl filled with ingredients, presumably to give you more to do.

You were in the midst of recounting a particularly amusing moment you’d shared with your roommate when the doorbell rang, pulling you from your thoughts and your mother from her task. She flipped on the faucet and rinsed her hands clean, drying them against her apron before giving you an apologetic smile.

“Be right back, just keep rolling!” she chirped, heading for the front door. 

You simply nodded, unbothered by the interruption. After your mother had brought her cookies to a community potluck your first year here, it had become something of a tradition for your neighbors to swing by on Christmas Eve for a few treats. 

You heard two sets of footsteps making their way towards you and readied yourself to greet whichever neighbor had stopped in, looking up at the doorway just in time to catch your mother guiding none other than Mrs. Bang towards you.

You locked eyes with Chris’ mother and smiled. Despite the unresolved feelings you had for her son, Mrs. Bang had always been nothing short of kind towards you. She radiated the same warmth as your own mother, approaching you with a fond twinkle in her eye.

“Hey, Mrs. Bang,” you greeted her first, only serving to brighten her expression further. She beamed as she arrived at your side, putting her arm around your shoulders and squeezing so as not to pull you from the job your mother had assigned you.

“It’s good to see you, dear,” she sweetly hummed, releasing you to grab a box of goodies from your mother. The two women were exchanging small talk, most of which you tuned out until Mrs. Bang called your name. 

You placed the last piece of dough onto the sheet before looking up, brows raised as you waited for her to continue.

“Your mother was telling me you’re graduating this spring,” she began, a look of pride on her face as she addressed you, “Do you have any plans?”

You nodded, before walking over to the sink and washing your hands, drying them while you spoke, “Yeah, I’ve actually got a position waiting for me after I get my degree, I’m actually–” you stifled a smirk at your mother’s boastful grin behind Mrs. Bang before she interrupted you.

“My baby is moving back to town in just four short months!” You couldn’t even be mad at her for stealing your announcement as she bounced on her toes excitedly. You hadn’t seen your mother so happy since you’d gotten your acceptance letter for your first choice university.

Mrs. Bang’s brows shot up, “Really? How wonderful!” she crooned, a genuine smile blossoming across her face, “You’ll have to come over for dinner sometime, then,” she continued, “Just like the good old days!”

You nodded, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat, “Of course,” you agreed, keeping your expression neutral in front of the maternal pair despite the painful realization of the main difference between a dinner with the Bangs then versus now.

Christopher was your boyfriend back then.

Your mother was completely oblivious to the spontaneous heaviness you felt in the air around you, continuing to speak with Mrs. Bang animatedly.

“Speaking of dinner, were you still planning on joining us tomorrow?”

This was normal between your two families, hosting the other for the holidays. Especially after you and Chris had both gone off to your respective schools - sometimes unable to make it back. It was actually pretty cute, the two mothers commiserating over the lack of their children being home for Christmas. 

You tried not to worry like you had during previous years. Despite your anxiety over the possibility, Christopher hadn’t made it home for any of these dinners so far, his work ethic somehow managing to beat out the considerable love you knew he held for his family. 

His final year at school would be a strange time to choose to change that, wouldn’t it?

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it!” Mrs. Bang responded kindly, “Though I should probably get home to prepare the dishes I’ll be bringing. Thank you for the sweets, as always.” She gave a polite bow to your mother, who simply waved her hand as if her thanks were absolutely unnecessary - walking her to the door and shouting pleasant goodbyes after her.

You spent the rest of the afternoon assisting your mother with the baking, grateful that she’d taken over most of the talking whilst your mind was brimming with thoughts of Christopher. She seemed to be more than content with your silence, likely figuring you were simply being attentive, as she filled you in on what you’d missed around town.

Before long, evening had come. The conversations with your mother all seemed to blur together, even throughout the meal you’d shared, due to the overdrive your brain had been thrust into following the reminder of Christmas dinner. 

You found yourself sitting on the edge of your bed in your childhood room, staring at the walls that your younger self had insisted be painted pink. Everything was just as you’d left it, from the patchwork comforter atop your mattress to the now-dust ridden yearbook on your nightstand. 

You wished you didn’t remember why it wasn’t amongst the other keepsakes - in a box on the top shelf of your closet. You wished you’d put it away on one of your prior visits, rather than leaving it untouched on the nightstand for nearly four years. 

You weren’t sure why you hadn’t put it away before leaving for college in the first place, nor why you hadn’t during any of your subsequent visits. All you really knew was that the mere thought of hiding it away felt wrong - felt final.

Considering the events that led you to seek solace in its pages, you supposed the way you felt was perfectly reasonable.

You had been so excited to meet up with your then-boyfriend that night. You’d just returned from touring campus and couldn’t wait to tell him all about it. Christopher had seemed a little off ever since you’d told him about your acceptance letter, but - at the time - you’d just assumed it was nerves as he waited for his own.

It wasn’t until you finally met up in his backyard, running to plant a kiss that he didn’t fully give back, that you realized it was much, much deeper than that.

“What’s wrong?” you’d immediately asked, though a gnawing sensation in the depths of your gut made you feel certain you already knew.

Sometimes you hated being right.

“Babygirl,” he’d started, running a hand through his curls before looking into your eyes - his own holding a look that could only be described as heartfelt sorrow. He chewed on his lip rather than saying anything more, averting his gaze to an undefined spot in the grass.

Your heart sank. Chris only ever messed with his hair when he was tense. You knew instantly - this was serious.

“Chris, what is it?” you urged, the smile you’d worn upon first seeing him instantly dropping, “You’re scaring me.”

“I got in.”

It was a simple sentence, though there wasn’t a single tinge of celebratory joy involved. He said it like it was a death sentence, still refusing to meet your increasingly intense stare.

“What? Chris, that’s amazing! Why are you –” you’d been midway through congratulating him when his head shot back up, his now-watery eyes locking onto yours.

“I got into Yonsei.”

“I thought you were going to apply for–” he’d cut you off again, then - the initial sadness you’d seen in his eyes only intensifying.

“Baby, I did. I didn’t make it,” his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, tonguing his cheek.

Your heart froze then at the dots connected themselves in your mind. You scrambled for something - anything - that could convince him that this was okay. That the two of you could handle being apart. That this could just be a roadblock, not the end.

Regardless of how hard you tried to come up with the words you’d needed to comfort him, to assure him that it was all going to be okay, there was nothing.

You sat there with him, dumbfounded and quiet for a while. Neither of you wanted to break the tension, but your lips still parted to make way for the hardest question you’d ever had to ask.

“Chris, are you leaving me?”

He didn’t say a word, his eyes simply welling with tears.

Sometimes, it seemed, silence was very, very loud.

Your throat began to tighten, breaths coming in shorter and shorter gasps as you stared at him - looking for any sign that this was all some shitty, cruel joke that he somehow found amusing. His stone-faced demeanor, however, did not change.

Of course, he wasn’t kidding.

Chris had never been the type to joke like that. To hurt you for amusement.

“Don’t you love me?” you stammered out, stifling a sob.

He finally looked up then, pooling tears in his eyes only serving to make his shocked expression look completely terrified.

“Of course I do,” he breathed, his voice breaking as he ran his hand through his messy curls.

“Then don’t do this,” you begged, barely audible after being blindsided - by his news, by the possibility of losing him.

He didn’t speak then - nor did he have to. Lower lip trembling, eyes still fixated on you as he stood from his spot. You could see all you needed to written on his face - this was it. It was over.

Wordlessly, he’d leaned down and pressed a prolonged kiss to the top of your head. As he pulled back, eyes downcast as he simply stood at your side, you fought to maintain any semblance of composure. It wasn’t until he finally turned around, retreating back inside of his home, that your legs moved on your behalf to bring your shell-shocked frame through your front door.

Mother wasn’t home - which, now that you thought about it, was probably for the best - leaving you to your own devices as grief threatened to swallow you whole. You cried for a long while, clutching your pillow against your chest as though it could somehow soften the hammering of your heart.

Now, glancing at the neglected cover of that yearbook, you felt just as small and broken as you did that night - when you’d finally stopped crying and flipped through its pages last. You were sure there were tearstains on the page you’d stopped on, despite not having revisited it throughout these years. 

The page where the two of you, clad in your prom attire, were dancing behind the perfectly posed King and Queen. Despite not being the subject matter, it had quickly become your favorite photo - bright smiles as you swayed clumsily in each other’s arms radiating joy.

Radiating love.

You forcefully shook yourself from these recollections, pushing them back in the name of keeping your sanity as you laid flat on the bed. Turning your back to the yearbook, you pulled the blanket over your body and shut your eyes to get a good night’s rest for Christmas.

You were going to need it.

The air smelled of honeyed ham and spiced fruits when you'd opened your eyes the next morning. 

You were watching your mother scuttle about the kitchen, humming her favorite carols whilst juggling three separate dishes, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from twitching upwards. Cocoa in hand, tree sparkling with multicolored lights, you finally felt it. 

This was Christmas. This was home.

Your mood couldn’t be dampened by anything, not even the painful memories you’d recalled the night prior. So, of course, you readily agreed when your mother asked you to run to the grocery store - just as was typical of her during the holiday fuss, there were a few things she’d forgotten to grab.

After bundling up, the walk itself was a quick trip, save for a brief conversation after the cashier recognized you from your youth. The chilled breeze didn’t bother you as it nipped at your cheeks. It, alongside a few stray snowflakes dancing around in the air, simply served to bring you peace.

Because this was Christmas. This was home.

You arrived back home, kicking the door with the toe of your boot in lieu of knocking. You tightened your grip on the handles of the bags, exhaling a held breath in a puff of steam whilst waiting for that bright red door to open. 

As it did, warmth and the aromas of dinner tickled your senses, “They were out of–,” you were cut off by what felt like a punch in the gut. You forgot the remainder of your sentence, jaw dropping as your words caught in your throat - an ineloquent squeak leaving your parted lips as you stared ahead.

There wasn’t much point in continuing what you were going to say, had the thought not been shocked out of you, considering that the face you were met with wasn’t your mother.

Christopher Bang - though looking much more grown up and mature than he had upon your last meeting - was standing in the entryway of your family home, staring at you as if he’d seen a ghost.

Much like your last encounter, neither of you spoke, opting instead to gawk at the other - blinking rapidly. You’d considered what you’d say to him, had the chance ever arisen. Much like the sentence you’d begun, however, it too had been erased from your mind the moment your eyes met his.

Once again, silence was very, very loud.

Based upon the unsteady tremble you could see interrupting the rise and fall of his shoulders - far broader than they’d been before - as he breathed, perhaps Chris was feeling precisely the same way.

He looked very much the same, Chris…yet somehow completely different. 

His messy curls had been cut shorter, pushed back out of his face in a much sleeker look than you’d remembered. He’d learned to take care of them, you noticed, as he ran his hand through now-defined ringlets - just as he’d always done whilst nervous. His eyes, though wide with astonishment, were still warm and trustworthy. Perhaps even more than they had been before, with the beginnings of smile lines at their sides he’d earned throughout the years.

His clenched jaw was stronger, more defined, as he parted his lips in an attempt to speak. Those lips, the very same ones you’d felt against your own countless times, were still just as perfect as they had been. Rounded and pink, open just enough for you to see the tips of his teeth behind them. 

“Get in here, honey! You’re letting in the chill!” your mother scolded from the kitchen, peering through the doorway. She seemed completely ignorant to the palpable tension between the two of you, acting just as she would had your world not been flipped upside-down.

God, how you wished you could be as clueless as she was right now - staring into the chocolatey pools of Christopher’s eyes, catching the very moment he came back down to earth. He stepped aside then, turning his attention to the floor as you crossed the threshold.

The delicious scents in the air no longer felt comforting, smothering you as your throat tightened. Despite speeding past Chris, you still managed to catch a whiff of the same cologne he’d worn while you were together.

The same one you’d bought him, though certainly a new bottle.

You swallowed hard as you beelined for the kitchen, setting the bags on the counter before mumbling something akin to, “No problem,” as your mother broke her conversation with Mrs. Bang to thank you. 

There wasn’t a single thought in your mind that wasn’t screaming at you to run away. Screaming at you to distance yourself as much as possible. Screaming at you to go and collect yourself before dinner, to collect yourself enough to plaster on a smile until the Bang’s went home.

It was impossible to ignore. It was so very loud.

Following your instincts, you darted up the stairs. A breath you didn’t know you were holding shuddered out as you stepped into your bedroom - closing the door just as an uncomfortable heat pricked at your eyes. 

You cursed under your breath as you swiped furiously at the sudden onslaught of tears, hoping that it wouldn’t be too noticeable to the matriarchs when you’d eventually have to show yourself. 

Why was he here? Why couldn’t he have just not made it like he hadn’t for three years? Why now, after all of this time, had he made it home?

It felt unfair, like some sort of cosmic joke. It felt surreal, like a horrible dream. It felt sharp, like a brand being seared into your chest.

And damn, did it hurt.

For the second time in your life you found yourself with your back against your headboard, pillow clutched to your chest, crying over Christopher.

A knock on your door pulled you from your wallowing, rushing you into wiping your eyes.

“Yeah?” you called, praying you didn’t sound as pathetic as you felt. 

Considering you hadn’t been keeping track of time during the outpouring of emotion, you figured it was your mother, letting you know dinner was ready.

So, when you heard your name called in a silky, baritone voice, you instantly froze.

“Can I come in?” Chris sounded so gentle when he asked, so warm. You could sense a certain caution in his tone, as though he’d break you if he spoke too loudly. Your prolonged silence didn’t go unnoticed, as an even smaller, “Please?” met your ears.

You considered saying nothing - God, did you want to just sit there quietly and hope he gave up.

But something about how the word had left his lips felt sacrilegious to ignore.

You shuffled to the door, pulling it open slowly. You could feel his eyes boring into you, certain he was wearing that same look of wistful sadness from that day - the day it ended - without even looking. You met his eyes as you stepped aside, proving your suspicions true. 

Chris gave you a nod of thanks as he joined you in the room, still watching you with concern as you slowly shut the door before sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn’t follow you, remaining standing by the closed door. 

Once it became obvious that you weren’t going to fill the quiet first, he tentatively spoke. It was laughable how casual his choice of words were - or, it would’ve been had you not felt so overwhelmed.

“Hey.”

You simply looked at him, chewing on your lower lip. Words, even had you wanted any, wouldn’t have come to you in this moment. Not even the deepest corners of your imagination could’ve prepared you for seeing Christopher again.

“So,” he started again, sighing deeply, “Your mom says you’re moving back?” 

Small talk had never really been his forte. He sounded awkward, almost forced behind the calm exterior.

You nodded in response, leading him to continue. “So am I,” he started, running slender fingers through his dark hair. Something was on his mind, it was obvious in the way his eyes were clouded. He wasn’t saying everything he wanted to. Even after all this time, you could tell. 

You could always tell.

You found your voice, though it was shaky and roughened with emotion, “What is it Chris?” You hadn’t meant to sound as short with him as you had, noticing his shoulders stiffen a bit at your tone.

“We’ll be seeing each other around, y’know?” he started, still messing about with his curls, “We’ll have to be able to handle that.” 

He was right. You might not want to admit it - especially right now, to his face - but he was right. You looked away, taking a deep and unsteady breath.

“I know you don’t want to see me,” Chris carried on, sounding smaller and smaller the longer he spoke, “And I get that, I really do. I mean, I’d hate me, too if –”

“I don’t hate you,” you cut him off, looking back up to meet his eyes. He looked perplexed, brows furrowing together at your sudden proclamation. 

“You don’t?” 

“I wanted to, trust me,” a humorless laugh accompanied your words, “It would be so much easier to hate you, Christopher.”

Your name fell from his lips in a stunned whisper, laced with pain as he slowly made his way towards you. He gave you every opportunity to tell him to get back, precise and patient steps approaching your bedside. You felt the bed sink next to you as he joined you, a softness in his eyes as they met yours.

“Then…why didn’t you ever reach out?” he murmured, visibly confused, “I tried to call you a few times. I stopped when you never answered.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, you left me, Chris,” you reminded him, frowning, “I was hurt.” The guilt eating away at you brought anger to your tone. 

You were right, he’d been the one to break things off. Why should you feel bad for not answering his calls?

Christopher’s features fell as he hung his head - it seemed that he knew you were right, too. He wore his shame plainly, from his hunched shoulders to the remorse in his eyes when he finally looked back at you.

“I didn’t forget,” he whispered thickly, his stare feeling like it made it’s way completely through to your soul, “How could I? It’s my biggest regret.”

You were speechless. Had you heard him correctly? The whooshing of your quickened pulse echoing in your ears was making you feel dizzy as you gaped at him, trying to process the gravity of what he’d just said.

“I was scared,” he admitted to you, still looking at you just as tenderly despite what must’ve been a wild expression on your face, “I was a scared and stupid kid, who’d just found out he couldn’t go to college with his girlfriend.”

“Scared of what?” you breathed out, brows knitting together as you tried to process all of this new information about your breakup. He hadn’t told you why, before. You hadn’t asked, either, though.

“Of the distance being too much,” Chris took a deep breath, “and you leaving me first,” he admitted earnestly, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes became glassy.

“Chris…”

“You were the best thing in my life,” he continued, despite your attempt to cut him off, “Since we’ve been apart, nothing has felt right. Even good moments are just–”

“Incomplete?” You finished for him, knowing the feeling he was describing perfectly. 

He nodded, a dimple appearing in his cheek as he gave you a half-smile, “Exactly, yeah,” he ran his slender digits through his ringlets again, biting his lip as he looked away. 

“What is it?” you prompted, immediately recognizing his mannerisms once more.

“I miss you,” he blurted, his cheeks suddenly matching the pink of his lips. He had his eyes squeezed shut tight, as if he were completely terrified. Your heart melted at the sight, though you held your tongue to allow him time to continue. 

“I miss you, and I know it’s my own fault,” he sniffled between his words, finally looking at you - eyes brimming with tears, “but God that doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about you for four years.”

“Chris–” you began, only to be spoken over.

“I know it’s not fair to you that I’m saying this, and I know that it’s absolutely crazy of me to think you’d even consider me an option anymore,” he continued to ramble, breezing straight past your attempt to cut him off.

“Christopher–” despite your attempt, the words just kept bubbling forth from his lips.

“I mean, how could I expect you to want anything at all to do with me? That’s stupid, I’m–”

“Chris!” He stopped then, flushing an even darker shade at the realization that he’d been monologuing. 

“If missing you back is stupid, then I guess I’m an idiot.”

Christopher’s eyes widened as your words registered, his lips parting in surprise before blooming into a full, beautiful smile. 

Your expression mirrored his, slowly morphing into a hopeful grin as he leaned in closer, placing a gentle hand against your flushed cheek.

“Wanna be idiots together, then, babygirl?” he breathed, warm breath delightfully tickling your skin as he drew even nearer.

In lieu of an answer, you closed the minute distance between your faces, crashing your lips desperately onto his. 

It was as if you’d never been apart, lips instinctually moving against each other in a beautiful and familiar dance. There was nothing but Chris at that moment - the scent of dinner gone, replaced simply by his cologne. His presence that you’d once dreaded had led you into contentment - his fingers trailing through your hair this time.

This was home. This was Christmas.

You’d have been content to never break that kiss, to perpetuate that moment for the rest of your life, had a soft knock at the door not interrupted.

“Dinner’s ready!” your mother sang from outside, the sound of her footsteps slowly trailing away. 

You smiled gently at Chris’ hand suddenly engulfing yours, standing first to help you to your feet. He didn’t let go, his fingers still able to lace so naturally with yours, as the two of you made your way to the dining room. 

Christopher sat at your side, casting you fond looks through the meal’s entirety. You stole glances at him whenever you could, as if trying to re-memorize his age-refined features. He’d catch you on occasion, smirking before shooting you a wink. Your face would flush, sudden shyness forcing you to look away - though you couldn’t help but keep studying him as soon as your cheeks cooled off.

You were so enraptured in each other that you didn’t notice the pair of satisfied smirks your mothers shared from across the table - so enamored that you didn’t notice their purposeful exclusion of the two of you from conversation, allowing you to continue your nonverbal exchange of affection uninterrupted.

You helped Christopher gather up the dishes, unable to contain your own smile as Chris graced you with a bright, dimpled one of his own - following your mother to the kitchen to help her clean up.

From the moment you’d left your bedroom, the two of you hadn’t exchanged a single word. 

You didn’t need to, though.

Sometimes silence is very, very loud.

Sometimes, silence screams I love you.

[kaiswifeblog]

SWEATER STEALER

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Kim Jin-woo (yeonjuns character in live on!) X gn!reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff! angst! Established relationship! this is set in episode 8 of Live on! Hurt/comfort

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: y/n always wears jin-woo's clothes. jin-woo ends up saying 'keep it' cause y/n looks so cute. But jin-woo is steadily running out of clothes.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: might be ooc because yeonjuns character was there only for some minutes (┳◇┳) pet names: baby, angel

It was early in the morning when you heard some shifting that woke you up.

You turn around and it's your boyfriend, Jin-woo preparing to go to class. You and Jin-woo met the first year of highschool and you started dating a few months after.

"Jin-woo...come back to bed please.." you said well more like yawned "i can't baby i have class and have you seen my white sweater? I swear i put it in here".

You froze at the sudden question because let's just say you were wearing it right now

"well promise you won't get mad if i tell you!" You whisper-shouted as you sat up in bed "i won't, i promise baby!" "well I'm wearing it right now.."

He suddenly turned, eyeing you up and down and seeing you wearing his sweater

"it's okay angel, keep it! I'm just gonna wear my other one!" And as Jin-woo opened the closet again he saw that it was nearly empty and in that moment he knew he needed to get some back from you.

After getting ready he kissed you goodbye and went off, and you wouldn't see him until late afternoon and his sweater didn't help, you tried with sleeping hugging his pillow sniffing his scent but it didn't help.

You just missed him too much and you were bored too you tried watching some series on Netflix but everything reminded you of Jin-woo so when you knew that he was working in the library you went there to 1.if he needed help you could have helped him 2.you wanted to hug him and you needed to buy somethings.

So now here you were, in front of the library with a bag full of snacks wearing Jin-woo's sweatshirt.

Entering the shop you saw some of Jin-woo coworkers you tried asking them where he was and they said that he was talking with some co-workers near the fiction section.

As you approach the fiction section you see Jin-woo talking with a girl and a guy watching them, and as you approach more and more you can hear the conversation they're having.

"So-hyun do you remember when we worked at the library?" "Really i don't remember" Jin-woo chuckled "So-hyun do you remember when we dated?" This girl that now you know was So-hyun was speechless and so were you.

Not because he was talking with his ex but because he never told you about it and you were together for a year.

"Jin-woo..?" said boy turned around, his eyes wide open "angel why are you here?" "well i came here to stay a bit with you but i think you're a bit busy right now, ah! Before i forget here some snacks I'll wait for you at home then.." you were nearly tearing up before you turned around and making your way to the exit.

"wait baby!" Jin-woo tried to run after you but since he was still at work he needed to stay until his shift was over.

After his shift was over he ran home to talk to you.

"baby I'm home!" he couldn't find you in the living room where everyday you waited for him and you weren't even in the kitchen heating up his dinner.

Instead entering his room he found you sulking and his hoodie now on the floor.

"angel..why are you sad?" "why didn't you tell me about you ex? When i asked you if you had any you even had the courage to tell me no, but now i see you with a girl that you were with and asking if she remembers you!" "listen I'm sorry but at the time i didn't want to remember her and i lied to you but you can understand me right?" "Maybe if you give me the sweater you're wearing i might" "okay, okay but only if you give me back my other ones because I'm running out of sweaters"

© 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐛𝐲 @𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭

[rankirakira]

WARNING SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF SPOILERS

U have been warned so...

Aaaa I binged watch the Scott Pilgrim Takes Off anime in one day instead of doing college homework lol. I have no one to talk to about the Scott Pilgrim anime 😭 so here i info dumping and ranting it.

I read comics and watched the movie in highschool and i also played the game on my Switch. Gosh it's an amazing adaptation and it reference all of them in the anime. Also, the anime feels like a what if or alternate universe imo. I feel like it's better to watch the live action or read the graphic novel or played the video game first imo to understand the easter eggs and references.

Bcs I am so happy that Anamanaguchi came back from the Scott Pigrim game and aaaa there was the game soundtrack in the anime.

Also the ending and the plotline of Ramona being more responsible and facing her exes reminds me of Ramona's ending in the Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World video game. So I'm happy the anime took this route

Things I love in Scott Pilgrim Takes Off ❤️:

The animation and music ❤️❤️❤️

Scott and Ramona realize their mistakes in their past love relationships

Scott and Ramona dynamic is more cuter imo

Scene of Ramona dying her hair

League of Evil Exes interactions aka Gordon and Luke being besties

The unexpected character dynamics, for example, I didn't expect one sided Todd x Wallace 👀

Gayer scenes ( More Wallace and More Roxie)

So many Lucas Lee (He's my fav also I am a Chris Evans so I am bias)

Love how meta and self referential the anime is bcs they reference the original source and other adaptations

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost cameo

The Director Edgar Wright aka Edgar Wrong spoof

Epilogue and Side character developments basically the exes having good endings like Matthew Patel's musical career and Buff barista Lucas

Is the Musical a sign that we might get a Scott Pilgrim musical???

Sparks✨️✨️✨️

Things I wish was in the Scott Pilgrim Takes Off aka me being nitpicking sorry 😭

Hoping that Todd moves on from Wallace bcs the Wallace Heart tattoo is a red flag

Surprised there was no Wallace and Lucas interactions or Wallace's crush on Lucas scenes like the original

No Stephen's boyfriend, Joseph 😭 orStephen Stills being gay scene

Was hoping for a timeskip that Kim and Knives (as a college student) became a couple. Love the duet they had tho❤️

Hopefully there is a season 2 or spin-off perhaps. Overall, I am very satisfied and I would love to rewatch Scott Pilgrim Takes Off over and over again. I love it❤️❤️❤️ Sorry for the long rant. I have no one to talk to about it

[yourdeadcutie]

Some random rant about my ex because I have no life

I now realize that he never loved me. It's surprising it took me so long to get it through my head. When I got into that relationship with him,I knew it wouldn't end well. Who was I kidding,a long distance relationship in highschool. It practically writes itself. Yet I let myself believe that it'd be okay and maybe I wouldn't be like all of the other sob stories online. I did though. People are right to say we "love" or whatever sick obsession I had changes your mindset. And even after we broke up, I still thought about him day and night. I never wanted to break up but he wasn't treating me like a girlfriend and more like a girl that he just talked to when he was horny. I guess I can't expect much from a teenage boy. As gross as he was I feel that he was the first person to understand me and I could understand him in some sort of sense. I was perfect. I let myself believe that since I was perfect for him, he'd be perfect for me. I guess when I reached out to him a month or two after the breakup, I finally realized how insignificant I really was. Perspective is a nightmare if you think about it. Someone could play such a huge role in your life and you'll just be a weird phase or a random Tuesday. Anyways when I went back,we started talking. I had to remind him who I was. It took him a while to remember me,not even by name but by what state I lived in. Then he proceeded to talk about much he thought of me and some other stuff now that I could now see was his way of trying to weasel his way back our relationship. It worked and that night we talked. We talked about a lot. For me talking to someone without the usual filters I hold myself to is the equivalent of ripping my heart out and giving it to them. After a whole night of talking we said our goodnights and went to bed. When I woke up I was greeted by a sweet little text along the line of "I can't do this, I'm a sex/porn addict and some other stuff" it's funny now that I look back but at the time I was just so heartbroken and distraught. I mean how peculiar, I had made it very clear that I had absolutely no problems with him and his issues. I let him play out every fantasy with me even the ones I wasn't too fond of but I still did my part. Now he suddenly grows a conscious and says "this is wrong and I'm not ready for a relationship" you don't just have this realization overnight. Sadly,back then I was desperate for him and I wanted him to stay with me because now and then I have no one. I couldn't relate to anyone else. I had him and I didn't wanna lose him again. He didn't even read my pleas before blocking me on everything.

Looking back now,I learned that he was probably just horny and liked what I told him. He did say I always knew what to say. It's just so strange to me now, looking and thinking about him. So much conflicting emotions. I'm mad at him and I know if he came back I'd play him or tell him off. Then I feel upset because deep down I want him back more than anything. Then I want to move on.

I'm better now. I know he won't come back. It's just so lonely now. The only person I've felt connected to is gone and out of my life. It makes me sick that he gets to live,get a new girlfriend and gets to be happy with her and not me. I wanted that to be me.

I wanna be happy to. Not even with him specifically but just with someone I can bond my soul with. It's a stupid thing to say I know but I wouldn't want a relationship if it wasn't that way.

Anyways if you read this far thank you.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Even though she doesn't write for Anakin, there's a writer for Bill Skarsgard named @dreamtherapy and just about everything she writes pulls you in. Her axel and kitten stuff is toxic. Not as toxic as one of the classic Roman Godfrey writers that wrote this one series that haunts me to this day but it's heavily triggering with abuse and suicide and seems real. Fucked up so if you like to cry let me know and I'll tell you who writes the stuff to scar you. Lol.

Anyways I love how hot and unhinged Anakin is, and even though he reminds me of my ex who was the love of my life, so I hope they make it through, I'm realistic. My ex was murdered by the bitch he swore our whole relationship was stalking him, but he died naked in her house and she told the cops she killed him cuz "bitch had it coming." She said that in the report and never spent a day behind bars.

Life fucks you so it'll fuck Anakin too, no matter how much we hope it wont

Okay damn that was a wild read from start to finish.

1) I love to read things that scar me mentally

2) axel and kitten? I’m sorry do-huh? Silly goofy

3) I appreciate the love for my hot unhinged man-boy

4) I’m not surprised she didn’t spend time in jail, for some reason the police really, really are awful (more so than usual) when it comes to stalking. I had a stalker in highschool and I never even told the cops bc no one in my personal life believed me. His name was Jeffrey. He was weird and really liked dirt bikes. I know that because he covered my math notebook in dirt bike stickers after writing his phone number and address in sharpie on my homework👍

5) I’m sorry for your loss, my condolences

6) life def fucks you. So true

[garrettandoscargirlsblog]

Benny The Rookie Cop Ch4

Summary: Has been awhile since my last post. Had soo many ideas for this one! At long last its done! This chapter has some drama, Benny being a big baby. Finally ! the mystery women in Sant's room!

Santi's POV: 

That voice. Sounded familiar to me,but for the life of me I couldn't place it! Turned around to see her! Can't it be?! Thought.. oh fuck! Am I dreaming? Lilly? After all of these years? Here!? Taking a step forward,” Sure you can. What are you doing here?” Sat down to tell me why she is in rehab. Same reason why I'm here. Not saying too much about it. Heard my voice earlier this evening when she first arrived. Seeing her reminds me of our childhood. Going off on our own,and looking after Gracie while ma was working. After highschool we lost touch. Till we met up again at basic training. Then we parted again. She went to the med core. Then things went to shit after endless relationships ended badly. Okay, we have something to share in that department. Took her hand,” We will lick this together. Hopefully this time we can overcome this addiction. Gracie would love to see you when I tell her “ When she heard me mention Gracie made her tear up. Always wondered what happened to her. Told her about being married to Benny. Also her being a nurse. Hearing that made her tear up again. We chatted till both of us fell asleep. Forgot about the rule about no patients in the room after a certain hour. Helped her to her room. Till I heard her whispering,” Just like old times Tang.” 

Yeah like old times. Times when we walked home from a party because my truck ran out of gas. Oh those highschool days. Followed by that time during basic when we got kp duty because of a prank gone wrong. Sorry Redfly! Took her hand,” Get some rest now lily pills. Another day in rehab land. Especially with Dr. Relationship wrecker.” Lilly looked at me all confused,” Why is that who’s” Whispers the answer in her ear as I walked towards my room. Not till I see another familiar face . Fish’s wife, Redfly 's ex,” What are you doing on this floor? Thought you were in labor and delivery?” Molly practically slugs me on the shoulder. While rolling her eyes,” I'm on my rehab rotation you jackass! Did your sister tell you anything? Oh right her mind is on her husband right now. Poor guy being shot in the ass.” Rubbing my shoulder as I opened my room door,” Yeah , that smarts . Wanna say congrats to your marriage. Glad you are happy. I mean it. Both of you need some happiness. Also wanna ..” Molly knew what I was gonna say. Took her a while to process the information about Tom. Glad the trust fund has helped to continue with her nursing school. Want to work not to live off the trust all that much. Saved portion of it for the girls’ education. Frankie finally got his pilot license,and now flies for the fire department. Proud of you man. Molly leans against the doorframe telling me that she has faith in me. Also she has my back on the doctor issue. Since she is gonna be helping her. More importantly to give her two cents. Love her spunk! 

Gracie’s POV: 

Forgot how much sleep one loses in the hospital Nurses come in to check on his vitals and such. Now they know about his lower back tattoo! Beautiful rose bud. His way to have me near him. So sweet! Have one same location, boxing glove. Which he loves so much. My thoughts were dashed when Benny moaned for me. Poor baby boy having a bad dream. Calmed him down by touching him ever so gently and slowly. Followed by me singing softly to him. He opened his eyes ever so slowly,” Hmm … such a sweet little voice ya have. Perfect thang to hear right now. Wished …” Kisses him slowly,” I know baby. Wished we were in our bed. Hopefully that will happen. Hope I can convince the docs for me to tend to you rather than someone else. Can't have that.” 

No he doesn't want that. Have another nurse to take care of him. Lay next to him facing him while touching his face ever so gently till a nurse from the ER comes in to tell me that I'm needed! Hello! My shift is over! 

Benny's POV:

Nurse’s work is never done! Poor rose bud. Tired rose bud. Heard her out in the hallway,but quietly telling a nurse that she needs to be with me! In her tired state won't be a good idea! Darn tooting it isn't! You tell her darlin. Hate the fact I can't  lay on my ass. Not complainin . Okay! I am! Ass fucking hurts. Need more meds! See, my iv bag looks like a prune! Heard Gracie mumbling as she pressed the call button. Good girl! Give me more of that stuff. Sound of the same nurse comes in with an IV bag. Closed my eyes since the light was bright as fuck! Hurry the fuck up! Turn that light off! Moments later the room is dark again. Moonlight shines through the window. God she looks beautiful. Kiss her soft lips,” Rest my wife. Gonna need some strength to give the ER a what for,and see if I'll be sprung out of this joint. “ 

Morning finally comes. Oh fucking great! 7am my doc ,and a few med students are at attention as he checks my ass wound. Sayin it has healed up pretty good. Yeah yeah! Get to the part when I can get out of here already sheech! Heard him sayin that I'll be gettin out of here sometime this morning! Finally! Seeing my wife smile. Till two familiar voices fills the room! Frankie and Will! Gracie closes the door as she and the doctor,and students chit chat out in the hall. 

Both of them try not to tease me all too much about my wound. That's fine! I'm a big boy! Can take it! Will begins to ease my pain by tellin funny, childhood stories till Gracie comes in,” Looks like I'm gonna be someone's private nurse, handsome husband of mine.” Hell fucking yeah baby! 

Note: I'll be doing a mini chapter. I know y'all wanna know what happens when Benny gets home. As for the next chapter? Flashforward few weeks when Benny picks Santi up from rehab. Spend time together. Meanwhile Gracie is in danger all because of Lucy's stupidity.

@dameronscopilot @rhoorl @romanarose @musings-of-a-rose @crookedbreadtimemachine

[ahundredtimesover]

hey mimi woaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh This chapter was mind blowing i cant, i had to reread a few parts to process wat was going on. oh my oh my ,the flashback, the story depth, I cant digest the fact that all this relationship they built till now became nothing but a huge mess due to their lack of confrontation, I mean it went all downhill and complicated. it literally brought me to tears, it reminded me of my highschool best friend that I told u about, it reminded me of how we crossed lines just to shatter each other's hearts, ughhh my heart stings ukwwwwwwwwww I texted him after I read this chapter coz I missed him, which lead to me rewinding everything that happened and getting stung at that feeling. The way we texted each other as if nothing happened other than us being friends ( it was a really bad idea tbh, tho I felt happy, now I'm spiraling back to square 1 of being heartbroken) was similar to oc and jk avoiding talking abt that night where they almost kissed. u r such a wonderful writer mimi, I wish I could learn to put feelings into words like that. my hearty wishes sending love as always.

HMM crossing lines and breaking hearts... sounds familiar 🤭🤭 but ALSO OMG HELLO??? This chapter prompted you to message him?? Ur brave! But I'm also sorry that you now feel like you're back to square one. I hope you feel better now though! 🥹 A little cry might help and at least this story allowed you to feel all those emotions. So thank you for suffering through this chapter haha and dropping by to update me about your ex best friend! 😊

And thank you for your kind words. I try! I know sometimes it could be hard to express the things we feel. I feel that sometimes, too, and there are fanfic writers I turn to for that. So this means a lot. I appreciate you and I'm sending you hugs! 💕💕

[goat-shoe]

ok, i Rant time

ive been reading this fic Knowing itd be a mess and im just... ive had it with this characterization! aimless rant below ^^;;;

tw for bullying, harassment, abuse, homophobia

so a lot of highschool AUs are just..... Bad? like LOL sorry :x but. youre taking away everything interesting about the miraculous holders, And youre trying to make Fully Grown Adults into children. ??????

n e ways, i found this highschool dropout au,,, im Sure you can guess how i feel abt dugout and tiderdrop together, but personal biases aside (its Icky to me and someday ill figure out why)..... lets read this fic.

(to prove i am Not taking things out of context, heres the whole fic)

FIRST of all, youre ognna notice that the prose is Boring, written in long and uninspired runon sentences. i dont wanna just bash on an inexperienced writer, but if youre gonna be this lazy about it.. who is it for :x

second, headcanoning mariquitas name as the Only spanish name you can think of that starts with "mari"? is just uninspired. mariquita wouldnt Choose a hero name so obviously close to her Real Name.. again im not an unmasker, but this headcanon is ridiculous....

finally, and most importantly.... "he sighs wearily". umm, No actually. he Doesnt. you dont even get an insight into dugouts thoughts other than "im nervous about school >m<"

Needless to say, this and his whiny, whimpering demeanor is incredibly infantilizing,. Furthermore in this context, all it does is plays into the ""yaoi"" trope of a big buff bad big boy x boy who says uwaaah! (i hope it goes without saying, this is Not a condemnation of boys who say uwahh, yall are doing gods work and ily)

cramming tigerdrop and dugout into this trope comes off as (and actually is) incredibly homophobic and harmful. need i remind you, these are real people. i wouldnt be surprised if this author was a fujoshi or something too :x

anyways.

im a dugout fan Because hes reserved, but in this fic, thats being watered down to him just being sad and whiny.

its just so insulting to be written shrugging every 3 sentences. dugout im so sorry theyre doing this to you ;;;

guhh. ill give them points for this cute relationship with mariquita...

but again, the prose is just.. clumsy. and again, all dugout does is whine about change. its not even a realistic portrayal of adjustment disorder :x

speaking of disorders Lol,

we Know how i feel abt tigerdrop, but i tend to actually like fanfic portrayals of him.

but this one is just... Confusing...

(also we have mandatory "describe their entire outfit in vapid detail" LOL i should have made this a bingo)

i havent really been talking about the plot, but heres what it took the author two chapters to get through:

dugout it new in town, hes nervous about the changes. (we dont even know why he misses home??? just, make it up i guess, god forbid a fanfiction Make That part up!!!!!!)

tigerdrop has lived in new york all his life, and he appears to be pretty bored with life (ex: pushes pipsqueak over just because he thought itd be funny, no doubt an allusion to the canal street incident last july)

his characterization is actually really confusing and i think its supposed to be like, Alluring??? but its just disconcerting :x

thats It. Two established characters and empty conversations with others (the mariquita mischaracterization especially drives me up the wall ever since i confirmed my kin with her)

they meet in math class when dugout unknowingly sits in tigerdrops seat..... girl, Literally no one in high school acts like this.

at this point, this fic is no better than glee and the millions of other incorrect and careless portrayals of highschoolers. tigerdrop has some weird banter with the faceless teacher (yet Another reason i hate most highschool fics)

:/ i Kinda saw it coming, but....

tigerdrop apologizing and not meaning it? In character. But, hes just acting like a greaser, and its Weird

dugout wouldnt care! he would not look like "a deer in the Headphones."

i Realize the author doesnt have a beta reader but :x that doesnt excuse pawning off lazy work btw, in case anyone was wondering....

last but probably Most important: this is setting up such a toxic dynamic. tigerdrop is actively pushing the message that dugout is taking up too much space and he doesnt belong. its alienating and shitty. and this is a fic Shipping Them :x

but i Clicked on a dropout fic, so.... should i be surprised :/

like i said. dugout is Already afraid of him.. his body is reacting just to the sound of his voice, not unlike trauma in PTSD victims!

like. guh. this is literally so toxic. also..

take a shot every time you see the word "smirks"

lips ghosting his nose And ear? Lol.....

likely The Worst way to incorporate their miraculous personas :x reading this literally made me nauseous.

anyways.... thats all of the fic thats been posted so far. so to summarize: this is just Icky. its even worse, setting this kind of relationship in their high school years :x imagine if someone treated you this way! youre Not gonna grow up and marry them.

i Cant even.

~ ty for reading <3 ~

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Hi friend, Its been a while.

I hope you're doing well, its been a while since i wrote to you. Whatcha say? Its been since 2014? Damn it really has been a while. i guess if im being completely honest....its because i got off of tumblr and forgot about this page until i logged back into it to get my writing from highschool. Wow its been since highschool hasnt it? Well for a while there i did  get alot better. i found a groupf of friends i absolutely loved and some of them have even lasted to my mid 20s. But right now i feel like im losing myslef again. and i hate to be the person to only send in a letter to you when i am not feeling myself and when i am getting bad agian. But i am actually reading the perks of being a wallflower which reminded me about tumblr and then when i saw this page i couldnt help myself but to send in a letter. Being an adult is hard friend. harder then i thought at 16-19 when i thought i was becoming an adult by the age of 20 bc it didnt have the teen in it. truthfully i dont know what im doing in life as an adult. I am a kindergarten special ed teacher aid and its been fantastic learning how the other side of it works...But it also been HARD. Its such a hard career and i never picture myself as a specail ed teacher rather then a gen ed teacher but here i am.I been winging it daily because even when i ask for training no one helps.im stress as all fucks becasue i knew teachers didnt make alot BUT I AM MAKING SO LITTLE AT THIS JOB, i was part time at my preschool i was working at before this and was making more each check, my therapist asked me if i regretted leaving and honestly i dont know.but its been stuck in my head since. I do have this amazing boyfriend who supports me in every decsion and loves me to death and i love him we known each other for 10 years just about and we started dating 5 months ago. but sometimes i think my ex bf before this relationship really fucked me up with relationships. I love him and i know he loves me but i question alot like if he actually does love me. which sucks because i wish my brain could realize he does. im exhausted physically and mentally I have a support system and theyve been helping me...but its not enough to feel like i was before i dated him. my ex. and its not enough to help with the constant panic attacks i have again..I been doing so well too.....I got a psych doctor so i can possibly get on medication something i thought i never needed. im just lost at this point and dont know what to do but this is long enough so friend thank you for listening to my rant. i think i might start writing to you again, youve helped me at the worst of times in highschool and i thank you for that and thank you for being there for ppl so they can get things off there chest. btw im going to my dads 3rd wedding next month and thats wild.

Love your friend,

erindinosaur16