#their relationship is the best it's ever been now that he's 3 star systems away and talks to them maybe twice a year

[mikansei]

and some days i come up with a whole ass plot, an entire OC family for a character complete with personalities, motivations & conflicts, how they navigate said conflicts now that they're ostensibly adults (but they never really talked through it in the first place so it's still looming) and how to make such mundane drama compelling & believable when this character's partner is mr. my-entire-family-was-horribly-murdered and like excuse me but what the fuck. where did this come from. where was this energy during yesterday's Em Dash Incident

some days i write 1k words in a sitting. some days i open the document, move the em dash in 1 (one) sentence and close the document

[sayosdreams]

Thanksvember 2022

Shoutouts to some amazing fics and fic writers! Thank you so much for all the time and energy you put into your work!! Your fics mean the world to me and have gotten me through the past year. I can’t thank you enough <3 This year’s list is definitely going to contain a lot of Regulus stuff bc that’s my current fixation! So, here's a list of some of my favorite fics that I've read over the past year:

November 1 - As Soon As He Can by Trex_Patronus (ao3). This beautiful fic is what sent me down the Regulus Black rabbit hole bc it was so good that I wanted more. The Black brothers angst? The trauma? The healing? It’s all *chefs kiss*. Everything I could want and more ✨ oh, and it’s now completed with 62 chapters ✨

November 2 - I see how this all ends (poorly) by @quillium . I think that Seer!Regulus is one of my favorite kinds of Regulus characterizations, and this fic is the reason. The balance of angst and fluff in this fic is absolute perfection. The characterizations? The relationships? The evolutions of every character? Absolutely amazing✨ (I've reread the Sirius-meets-sleepy-Reg-and-gang-in-the kitchen scene at least 20 times bc its so ajsfbfsk!!! <3)

November 3 - Follow in her paw prints by @scottish-purple-shrubbery . I adore this fic, because what more could I want from this world than McGonagall taking Regulus in and giving him a path that doesn’t lead to an early death? 10/10, would recommend, we stan having healthy adult figures who actually care abt children as more than pawns✨ ♥️

November 4 - A Thing Like Stars in the Dark by toliveinthesky (ao3). Who doesn’t love a good “what if Reg survived the cave” story? Sprinkled with Black brothers interaction, Reg playing with baby Harry, being in love with a muggleborn 😍 I’m not usually a huge fan of OCs, but Reg/Maggie ��� I love this fic so much

November 5 - Live Fast, Die Young, Leave a Pretty Corpse by atta_boy (ao3). This fic is so underrated. I LOVE IT SO MUCH (I mean, Sirius thinking Reg is dead, only to hear about a muggle model named “Aster An” who looks just like him? *chefs kiss*) The irony of a disguise being the truest version of yourself is beautifully written in this fic. I need more ppl to read it (and join the discord 👀) so y’all can fangirl over it w me

November 6 - He Can’t Hurt You if You’re Already Dead by @unspeakable3 . So, yeah, I think I’m obsessed with the Ghost!Regulus concept?? I love everything about this fic — the chracterization, the internality, the mix of fluff and angst ♥️ You have no idea how many times I just randomly think of Reg folding Sirius’ clothes to “haunt” him or hiding inside a vase or being scared Dumbledore will exorcise him 💀

November 7 - In the fires of our youth (oh, brother of mine) by @quynhorlose . The writing! The art! I'm obsessed with everything about it, from the format that includes articles & poster style chapters, to the content of Regulus-and-Remus friendship and the Padfoot & Prongs band.

November 8 - We are all stardust by @rrosie08 . I have mentioned that I love Seer!Regulus, right? That, combined with Ravenclaw!Regulus, Black brothers angst, Reg having an awesome friend group, and Jegulus and Wolfstar drama is just *chefs kiss*. The scene where Reg just broke up with his bf and is crying and gets his first detention bc of Sirius on his birthday has been on constant replay in my brain. <3

November 9 - There is another sky (--Ever serene and fair) by llamallamaduck (ao3). This fic is everything I could ever want and more out of a "black brothers run away together" story. They travel the world, and I LOVE all the different magical systems & cities. All of the concepts in this story, along with all the emotions (angst! fluff! everything!), make this one of the best black brothers fics. I still haven't read the last chapter (I'm sad it'll be over!) but I'm so excited to read it too. Definitely recommend!

November 10 - Kill Your Darlings by MesserMoon (ao3). Marauders era meets college ice hockey in this amazing fic. I love all the tension, like the complexities of Evan and Peter's characters, Regulus working through his internalized homophobia, and ofc the extreme gayness <3 Deaf Remus! Jegulus! Rosekiller! Evan and Reg being roommates and becoming besties!

November 11 - Best Friend's Brother by @zeppazariel . This is one of the first Jegulus fics I read, and it dragged me down the Jegulus rabbit hole that I will stay in forever. This fic was amazing. It made me laugh and cry, and I felt like I also went through the raw emotional rollercoaster of a journey that Regulus and Sirius and Remus and James experienced. It's so beautifully written, and it felt healing? Like I have a lot of crappy childhood trauma, and it felt like this fic was me working through it Definitely recommend if you haven't read it yet (or if you're thinking about maybe trying your first Jegulus fic). Be warned: Angst! Feels! Drama! Working through trauma! Aka everything I adore <3

November 12 - I Didn't Catch Your Name by @kachwoww . This fic!! OK so basically, James & Reg hook up, but in the morning James asks Reg his name and Reg leaves without telling him. James, ofc, is obsessed and is searching for Reg. Meanwhile, Reg left the paper that Sirius (his estranged brother) gave him with his phone number at James' house, and panics about how he lost it. Basically they're all freaking out, Reg and Remus are librarian flatmates, Pandora and Lily are dating, Sirius and Remus are dating, and... yeah! It's #Drama and I'm hooked.

November 13 - The Marauders read 'Harry Potter' by SilverShadow1 (ao3). It's been a while since I read this types of fics, but this one!! Basically James, Regulus, Sirius, Remus, Peter, & Lily read the books & react, but it's set in a Jegulus & Wolfstar world and the fic dives into their pasts (through flashbacks and their reactions to different events) and their relationships with each other evolve throughout. The series is currently on PoA (so I have a lot of hope that it'll continue)! I've been hooked since the beginning and love seeing it update.

November 14 - i got wasted (like all my potential) by ascxlla (ao3). I love the Slytherin skittle shenanigans in this fic! Regulus interacting with Sirius-as-a-dog without knowing it's Sirius 🥹 It's a "I'm doomed so fuck it" fic and I love that. Want to explore the forbidden forest at night to get a cat? Do it! Want to kiss your friend for funsies? Do it!

November 15 - Hush Hush by @crippledgoddess . This fic was one of my main obsessions this summer. There are so many iconic moments, like drunk Reg flirting with James, or Reg just saying stuff like "You know what James looks good in? Me" to make everyone uncomfortable, that I ADORE. There's a lot of angst and feels, but I'm hoping for a happy ending (please!!) and I really enjoy the writing!

November 16 - Your Stars are True by Penelope_Muir (ao3). Sirius and Regulus haven't been close in years, so Sirius checks up on his brother by coming to him as Padfoot (though Reg thinks he might be a Grim). It's so cute and sad at the same time 😭 The scene where James tries to follow Sirius to see where he goes every night, only to have to transform into Prongs and Reg is like "oh you brought a friend?" to the dog is ingrained in my mind forever!

November 17 - with my back to the shoreline, i dreamed that he drowned by onceuponalazy (ao3). My favorite "James gets amnesia and can't recall the life he built with Regulus" fic. The pain Regulus is in, knowing that he loves a man who no longer knows him and doesn't even know that their son (Harry) exists 😭 It's beautifully written, and I love how James and Reg's relationship evolves and heals ♥️

November 18 - Confessions Under a Pride Flag by 55_cents_in_nickels (ao3). Supportive coming out black brothers fluff + asexual biromantic Regulus Black (which I read during my "questioning if I'm on the aroace spectrum" crisis period) = amazing fic that I love so so much. Yes, I am capable of loving something besides angst It's a comfort read that's close to my heart <3

November 19 - Burden of Duty by Grey_Kenaz (ao3). Aroace sex-repulsed Regulus Black meets Sirius in St Mungos after trying to figure out how to conceive with his (arranged marriage) fiancée. Sirius helps Reg figure out that there's nothing wrong with him and accept himself 🫶 We love supportive Black brothers!

November 20 - i can feel you slipping away (like the sunlight at the end of the day) by @casualmaraudering. This fic is so good! It's fluffy and angsty in all the right ways. Contains: Dumbledore critique bc fuck him, Black brothers have a strong bond, Reg grieving, aroace Regulus, a baby, and Sirius giving Regulus a hug. The writing is so good and the rollercoaster of emotions this fic takes you on is incredible ❤

[luxeavenger]

Thank You For The Tragedy. I Need It For My Art [Kurt Cobain]

Part 1: Aqua Sea Foam Shame

| Part 2 |

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x female!reader

Summary: You discover something that makes you wonder if your time is at its end.

Warnings: Implied/referenced cheating, drug use (marijuana/cocaine), angst, emotional hurt/comfort, polyamorous relationship, threats of violence, pet names (little mama/mama, sweetie, honey), and even more angst (I am SO sorry)

A/N: I can't answer questions about this chapter. You can definitely send asks about it, but if it's a question specific to this chapter, I'll answer it after part 2 is published. Sorry <3

18+ ONLY PLEASE! MINORS DNI. If you hit Keep Reading you agree that you're 18 or older.

I do not consent to having my work copied, translated, or posted on any other site. The ONLY places my work should appear are@luxeavenger on Tumblr and Ao3

Backstage Pass Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-fi

Please reblog if you enjoy!

Tonight is the last of three shows in Cali, and the crowd is absolutely feral. The Howling Commandos stop at four encores, even though the sweaty masses are rabid for a fifth.

You thread through the throbbing crowd and head to the restroom to freshen up. You check yourself in the mirror, fingers plucking at your purple fishnets and the hole in the thigh that Steve tore in them earlier when one of his big rings caught on them in his haste to get his fingers on your clit. You’re wearing Bucky’s favorite Runaways t-shirt, Cherry Bomb plastered on the front in retro letters. It’s feather-soft with age, and the neck had torn off ages ago, so it hangs off one shoulder, showing off the still-healing tattoo of Bucky’s name on your collarbone, and the shield inked on your sternum. Your hair is a sweaty mess, and you do your best to finger-comb it into looking presentable.

Lastly you swipe some pretty pink lip gloss over your lips. You’d been chewing on them throughout the show, and now they’re heartbreaker plump and pouty, so you can’t resist making those dick-sucking lips all shiny and pink for your men.

Now that the floor is clear of most of the crowd, you make your way backstage. You see Steve and Bucky, and skid to a halt. Their backs are to you, and their arms are around a woman who is decidedly not you.

Your heart gives a painful lurch in your rib cage, miles beneath the names tattooed on your chest, the ink still fresh enough to itch without lotion.

They’re out of your sight now, and though every cell in your body wants you to turn tail and run, to not follow where you fear this will inevitably lead, you finally lurch forward, hollowly asking Scott where the green room is, and heading off in the direction he points.

Just outside of the green room is where your aching heart finally ruptures, and you bleed out alone, right there on the concrete floor. Because there sits Steve, with this new woman next to him, and Bucky sitting across from them. This woman—some rockabilly pinup girl, complete with a wiggle skirt, shiny red fuck-me pumps, and victory rolls in her chestnut hair—is curled up against Steve’s side, looking up at him like he hung the sun. Her tattoo-covered hand rubs delicately over his thigh when her MAC Give-Me-Fever-red lips kiss Steve’s scruffy cheek.

“Oh no, little mama,” comes Clint's voice from beside you. You’re paralyzed, still dying the slow death of an insect swept up in amber when his calloused hand catches yours, and pulls you away.

He takes you back to the tour bus while you try to remember if you were ever able to feel your organs before this moment, because you definitely feel them now. Your heart is like lead in your chest, a weight bearing down its tender companions, and poisoning your systems with each sickening beat. You’re a walking corpse. A ghost, who hasn’t quite figured out she’s dead yet, lost forever under bright California stars.

You frantically keep replaying the past few days in your head. Wondering what you’d done. Why this is happening. It seemed like everyone had fun hanging out with Thor and Loki. It didn’t seem like anything that happened with the two bikers upset Steve or Bucky. The sex with your partners had been phenomenal, as it always was. Hell, you and Steve had fucked Bucky so good this morning he couldn’t get his legs underneath him for almost an hour afterwards.

Clint gently shakes you alert again. “Hey,” he keeps repeating himself until your eyes focus on him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I know that’s what you’re thinking, mama. I can see it on your face. This isn’t about you, or anything you did. Okay?”

Nat’s bunk is below his, so for simplicity’s sake, he guides you to it. He crawls in behind you, and grabs a tin off of Nat’s shelf and sets to work rolling a joint. When he’s done he lights it, then flips it around so it’s between his lips with the cherry in his mouth. He takes your face in his hands, tugging your jaw open with his thumb, and shotguns smoke into your mouth.

You wonder why he doesn’t just pass you the joint, then you notice that your hands are shaking. Your whole body is. Your bones are rife with earthquakes that have taken hold in your marrow, and spread their shaky little tendrils through their calcium prisons and into your flesh.

He gives you a few more hits like that until the shaking subsides. The air in the bunk is hazy and blue with smoke when Nat opens the curtain. Clint quietly explains to her what’s going on, and you finally give in to the tears that have been teasing your eyes since Clint found you.

Nat looks at you and immediately climbs into the bunk, and wraps you in a warm hug—Nat always runs hot after a show—and rocks you while you sob. “Oh honey. It’s okay. Get it out. It’s okay.”

Clint leaves you with Nat so he can shower and change out of his sweaty clothes, and Nat does the same once he returns. Clint starts rubbing calming circles on your back, and you surprise him by throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. His smell is crisp and clean: amber, freshly cut grass, and mint. Comforting because there’s nothing about it that reminds you of Bucky or Steve. He gathers you into his lap so he can hold you tight.

It’s been two hours since you saw them with her, and they still haven’t come back to the bus. This seems to confirm your worst fears. Clint asks quietly, “Do you know who she is?”

“No. Am I supposed to?” you sniffle.

Clint sighs, “It’s their ex, Peggy.”

“Their? Like both of them?”

“Yeah, little mama,” he nods against the top of your head, “but they called it quits with her a year before they even met you.”

“Why did they break up?” you ask, still trying to do the math and figure out why this pain had come knocking at your door.

Clint shakes his head, “That I can’t say. It’s their story to tell, not mine.”

“Why have they been gone so long?” you ask mournfully.

“I don’t know, mama” he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “I really don’t know.”

You’d fall asleep in Clint’s lap at some point, and you wake to heavy boots stomping up the RV steps. You see Nat is back in the bunk, wearing Clint’s boxer briefs and a sports bra, her short hair still damp, and combed away from her face. She’s playing a game on her phone. Clint has laid you down on the mattress next to him, still rubbing a soothing hand over your back occasionally. Alpine is curled against your chest, making biscuits against your arm, and purring up a storm.

Steve and Bucky head to their bunk first, looking for you. They’re talking too loudly, and their speech is slurred, so they must have had a hell of a lot of alcohol for their turbo-charged metabolisms to have held onto it long enough for them to sound drunk.

When they don’t find you waiting for them, they knock on the wood between Nat and Clint’s bunk. She opens the curtain just enough to climb out, and squares up with both of them. They’re taken aback when suddenly confronted with a furious redhead.

“Have you seen Y/N?” Bucky asks.

“You assholes have a lot of fucking nerve to come in here asking for her now. Like this.”

“What?” Steve asks, sounding confused.

“Don’t fucking ‘what’ me, Rogers, you’ve still got her fucking lipstick on your cheek.”

From inside of the bunk you count five whole Mississippi’s where neither of them speak.

Steve reaches for the curtain. Then there’s a quiet snick, and Nat’s snarling, “Steve, if you touch that fucking curtain I will cut your dick off and feed it to the fucking cat.”

Bucky sounds dead sober now, and frantic as fuck when he pleads with Nat, “Is she in there? Please, just let us explain.” He reaches out to swipe the curtain aside.

“Bucky, I fucking mean it. Don’t touch that curtain. The next person who reaches for it is going to be pissing out of a rubber tube for the rest of his life.”

“Goddamnit, Steve,” Bucky hisses, “I fucking told you something bad would happen.”

They must retreat to their bunk because Nat’s back, flipping her switchblade back into its handle. She takes one look at the fresh tears sliding down your face and pulls you against her. Your head pillowed on her chest, she holds you tight and repeats, “It’s okay, honey. It’s okay,” like it’s a spell, and maybe it is, because it’s the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

You wake the next afternoon in another state, with Alpine curled around your head like a hat. You’re disoriented at first because the smells are strange and you aren’t flanked by two muscular walls of heat. Then it all comes crashing back to you in an instant.

Nat’s against the wall at your feet eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. She passes you a lukewarm cup of coffee. “Sorry it’s cold. I didn’t want to wake you.” She pauses, then, “They’re still here,” she tells you softly. “If you don’t want to see them I can bring you some food.” You forlornly shake your head. She kisses your cheek and tells you she’ll be back in ten, and Clint is up top in his bunk if you need him. She has a quiet conversation with him before she leaves.

You check your phone. It’s nearly dead, and there’s eighty-two missed texts from Steve and Bucky, just from the past six hours.

You scan through, but it’s a lot of the same:

“It’s not what you think.”

“Please let us explain.”

“She doesn’t mean anything to us.”

“Can we just talk?”

“I love you.”

“We’re sorry.”

You sign and turn your phone off. You’re afraid of complete ruin, too broken right now to risk them stomping the shattered pieces of you into powder under their feet.

You hear a rustle, and the thump of Clint hitting the ground. “She doesn’t want to talk to you guys.”

“Goddamnit, Clint,” Steve gripes, “we just want to explain.”

“We want to apologize,” Bucky amends, sounding tired and angry.

“That’s all fine and good, but she’s our family too, and if she doesn’t want to talk to you, we’re going to make goddamn sure she doesn’t have to,” Clint says. Then he pokes his head in the bunk, “What about it, mama? You want to talk to either of them?” You shake your head, feeling the prickly heat of tears collecting in your eyes again. A sob tears out of your chest unbidden, and Bucky barks a desperate curse. Clint wipes a tear from your cheek, “It’s okay, sweetie,” he says soothingly before standing again.

“Fuck off, guys,” Clint says simply. He crosses his arms over his chest.

Steve bristles, “You know, Clint,” he says flatly, “we could make you move.”

Nat’s voice comes from behind them, “You could fucking try.” She sounds cold and detached. Dangerous. You remember what Steve and Bucky told you about their time in the service with Clint and Nat. And at this exact moment there’s not a doubt in your mind that she and Clint could give Steve a run for his money.

The tension on the bus is sky high, and for a moment—for everyone else’s sake—you’re ready to give in and parade your wounded heart out in front of the men who’d shredded it in the first place.

“Steve, stop being an asshole,” Bucky chides, “forcing her to talk to us isn’t going to make anything better. Neither is beating up our family.”

Steve stomps away, brushing by Nat on the way out. “Prick,” she growls after him.

Bucky has a quiet conversation with Clint and Nat before sighing heavily and exiting the bus alone.

Clint pokes his head back in, “They’re gone now. I don’t know about Steve, but Bucky said he’d stay gone until it was time to get ready for the show. Why don’t you come on out, stretch your legs, and eat something. Can you believe we’re parked next to a Waffle House? Nat brought pancakes! And bacon!” His animated face warms your heart, when he offers you his hand you gladly accept. Alpine follows after you, weaving between your legs and chirping at you happily.

That’s how you live for the next week. The first couple days you stay with Clint or Nat. They take good care of you. Holding you when you’re sad, getting you stoned when you feel too fragile, telling you stories about each other when you just need the company. But after Steve stops trying to make you talk to him, you move your stuff into the mostly vacant bunk so you don’t keep crowding Clint and Nat. It’s actually Scott’s bunk, but he got a fancy new reclining seat for the RV, and he’s slept in that more often than not ever since.

When Steve and Bucky are in the RV you stay holed up in the bunk. You only venture out when they’re gone. Clint and Nat bring you food, and hang out with you when Bucky and Steve are home. You pass whole days doing nothing but watching movies, snuggling Alpine, and playing Uno or Cards Against Humanity with Nat and Clint.

Once you’re in Seattle it feels a bit safer to leave the bunk, so you start going to the Howlies shows again. But you leave early so you can avoid seeing them afterwards. They’ve added a cover of Nirvana’s All Apologies to the end of their set. They dedicate it to you.

| Part 2 |

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 8 - 5+1 / 3+1

You're in my sickbay again...

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x GN!Reader

Fandom: Star Trek (I was writing it as AOS but pretty sure it works for TOS as well if that's your jam)

Rating: Teen and up

TW: Mentions of torture, mention of injuries

AN: Day 8 of @tropetember. Not a massively in depth fic, more like snapshots of situations that occur through the relationship.

3 times Dr McCoy didn't want to see you in his medbay and 1 time he did

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.3k

1

While you hadn’t been expecting to be beamed directly into the quarantine suite in the Medbay of the USS Enterprise, after three months working with Captain James T for Trouble Kirk, it wasn’t totally surprising either.

Kirk had been invited to a celebration feast in a system you were exploring, but had only been allowed to bring one guest. As Chief Security Officer or CSO, you had been volunteered for the position.

You had done everything you could to keep the Captain away from anything questionable. Sadly, conversations with him usually went something along the lines of:

“Jim, no”

“Jim, yes”.

It was something you regularly discussed in your sessions with the ship's newly appointed counsellor.

Since quarantine procedures were only instigated when the transporter detected an anomaly in the crew members being transported, and assuming it was due to Jim, you just sigh to yourself and shake your head.

“I told you to watch him closely!”

The southern drawl didn’t soften the accusation, even deadened as it was by the plexiglass divider that separated Quarantine from the rest of the medbay.

“I did! I don’t understa…”

You trail off as you have a sudden realisation and groan.

“I found him with his tongue down the Princess’s throat.”

Dr McCoy gives a long suffering sigh.

“I’ll have to run tests on both of you. The transporter team couldn’t definitively tell if you both have it.” He pauses and looks you up and down. “I expected better of you Lieutenant Commander”

“Yeah, cos you’re so much better at this than I am. It was Orion herpes last time, wasn’t it?”

The CMO just smirks and tells you to stop pointing fingers before sauntering off towards the storage cupboard. You respond by flipping him off. And you maybe watch his ass a little.

Turning to the Captain, who has been uncharacteristically silent until this point, you channel your inner McCoy.

“Goddamnit Jim!”

Jim decides that you and Bones are spending too much time together.

2

When Scotty had called to warn Dr McCoy of an incoming victim of an explosion in engineering, he had not expected it to be you.

“You’re in my sickbay again sweetheart.”

He uses a sing-song tone that he doesn’t employ with the rest of the crew. Nurse Chapel, who is at the other side of the bed, takes note to check in with the Captain as to the state of the betting pool. She believes she may have lost.

You nod in response to the doctor’s enquiry. You’re in far too much pain to think of anything more complex than that in response.

“What were you even doing in Engineering?” he grumbles to himself, moving around in the space to grab hypos, bandages, burn salve and a dermal regenerator. “You’re almost as bad as Jim and Spock.”

You try to focus on him but you’re struggling to stay conscious. It’s not aided by the painkillers he dumps into your system.

McCoy gently moves you to be laying on the bed. He’s concerned at the extent of the damage done and the nerve trauma to your arm. To ease your pain, he hits you with a sedative and you’re out like a light.

-------

You groan as you come back to consciousness, the light of the medbay hurting your eyes.

“Welcome back darlin’” you hear.

Smiling despite yourself, you squint in Leonard’s direction.

“I was helping with the repairs on the lower decks. I assumed it was safer than an away mission. Apparently I was wrong.”

Surprised laughter bubbles from the grumpy doctor as he agrees.

“Well, get yourself rested up. I’m serious this time. I don’t want to see you back in my medbay.”

“Sure” you agree, both of you knowing it won’t last for long. Occupational hazard. “Dinner and a movie on Saturday if the mean Doctor lets me go?”

3

It made a change for a mission to go wrong due to something Spock did but in a culture that valued feelings as much more important than logic, it was not that surprising.

Most of the crew had made a successful escape but yourself and Dr McCoy had been taken hostage during the initial skirmish. You’d been thrown in a cell together and that had been that.

Or at least, so you’d thought.

You’d been dragged from the cell, questioned and beaten in front of McCoy in an attempt to find out details of the Enterprise and it’s crew. You hadn’t broken, but by the time you’d been rescued, you definitely had at least a couple of broken ribs, a black eye and various assorted cuts and bruises.

Len was quiet as he helped to repair your injuries. Where you were black and blue, his torture had been psychological. He couldn’t get your screams out of your head.

Noticing his distracted state you grasps his jaw gently, disguising the wince it bring when it pulls a little, and raise his eyes to yours.

“This isn’t your fault.”

His eyes dart away but you stay firm.

“I am trained for this, Len. I’d do it again to protect you. But you’re going to need to let the guilt go.”

He sighs heavily.

“I’ll try.” He pauses to run the regen unit over your upper arm. “You’ll need to do me a favour though.”

“Anything.”

“Go on a date with me?”

Mr Spock had been on his way to apologise for the consequences of his actions but is distracted by the fact that he has won the betting pool. He better inform the Captain and come back later.

1

You’re still not sure how it happened. As CSO, your main responsibility was the Captain and when things went wrong, his safety was paramount. You couldn’t check on everyone else. You just had to trust that your team was doing their job.

You hadn’t even realised Len had been hit until you landed on the transporter pad.

There had been so much blood.

Now, you were pacing outside the OR. It had been hours since the beam out when finally M’Benga pops his head out.

“He’ll be ok. He won’t be working for a few weeks but he’ll be ok.”

Your knees give out from under you and you land heavily on the chair behind you. Tears of relief escape without your permission and you drop your head into your hands.

M’Benga gives your shoulder a squeeze, letting you know where Len is being moved to and giving you permission to stay with him, before heading off to finish cleaning himself up.

You take a deep breath and approach Len’s bed. His larger than life presence is softened in sleep and you can’t help but notice how fragile he looks.

Taking his hand, you place a kiss on his knuckles and then rest your head against the mattress. After nearly 36hrs awake, you’re out like a light

-----

You wake to the feeling of fingers running through your hair which you automatically nuzzle into. It’s nice. Comforting.

It takes longer than you’d ever admit to orient yourself, but when you do, you raise yourself and meet Len’s eyes. He has a soft smile on his face that you can’t help but mirror.

“Sorry for dropping in, I know you didn’t want to see me in your medbay.” It’s a cheeky comment but it widens his smile into a grin. You pat yourself on the back for lightening the atmosphere.

“I’ll let you off this time.” His voice is a bit scratchy from lack of use but it sounds like the finest music to your ears. How could you have been so close to never hearing it again? He continues, “care to join me for dinner? I’m afraid there’s only jello.”

You laugh at the silly grump of a man in the hospital bed. Your best friend. Your favourite person. The love of your life.

“I’d love to.”

[andro-dino]

(shakign) kyoya

yk I totally thought I did him the first time around but I didn’t

anyways KYOYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! MY OG FAV!!!!!!!!!! He was my favorite in second grade bro I’ve always been mentally ill abt him. He was my favorite for a while before Zeo beat him out but he is still my 2nd fav <3 (I’m sure he would hate to hear that lmao)

I will say, I think Kyoya was the best character of fusion but afterwards, his writing went downhill imma be real with you. Masters he felt a little one dimensional at times (though I do love him and wild fang) but then fury,,,,, I wanted to punch him the whole time FURY COMPLETELY MASSACRED HIM I STAND BY THAT. HE WAS WAY MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAT WHOLE SEASON THAN HE HAD ANY RIGHT BEING AND IT MAKES ME SO UPSET. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THERE WAS LIKE,,, VERY LITTLE REACTION FROM OTHER CHARACTERS AND ARGRGRGGGRGR IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING. I wanted Nile to go apeshit on him so badly you have no idea. He deserved to.

Ok I just needed to get that out of my system NOW TO WHAT I ACTUALLY LIKE ABOUT HIM

First of all, his development in Fusion was just chefs kiss. SO GOOD. I think about it constantly. I cant even put it into words but like. Seeing him at the start of fusion, then to be manipulated by doji and seeing him hit rock bottom, lashing out at everyone was just,,,, hrrrnendnrn. His early development especially tied in with benkei was so good because like, even though he was still a bad guy, we see that he wasn’t like, horrible. Like in Benkeis flashback to when they first met, Kyoya isn’t completely one sided at the start. He’s a strong, determined character, and he has a great respect for the people who earn it and I love that. But after doji, seeing the way he completely breaks and goes off the walls, and specifically how he abandons and hurts benkei is so heartbreaking. I feel like you can tell where his character is at any given moment based on how he treats benkei and that really peaks there. His development though, his realization that he is worthy of forgiveness after everything and is allowed to be friends with others and build those friendly bonds is just so good. He’s such a passionate person and even though he still is snappy and standoffish, he still has that softness that he’s willing to show. He really does just feel like an angsty teen most of the time. He wants to be aggressive and hate everything and everyone but his genuine passion and care for others comes out too much for him to be able to fully put that front on. I love how much characters help him and how he helps them in turn. He’s flawed and aggressive but at his core, hes an extremely passionate and honorable person and many of the other characters can see that. I’ve been mentioning this a lot lately, but I specifically love his dynamic with Tsubasa in fusion and battle bladers specifically. It frustrates him to see someone like Tsubasa not put his whole heart into beyblade and goddammit he tells him that straight up. He ignites that passion in Tsubasa and clearly enjoys seeing it and oh my goshshshhsbdndbdbcnfjd I love them so much

AND THATS ONLY TALKING ABOUT FUSION. I don’t have as much to say about him in masters because as I said, I think his character started falling a little flat here, but he still shined a lot. I think this more than ever showed how passionate he truly is and that really comes forward when he puts his all into everything, especially his eventual fight with Gingka. Him coming back at the end was really nice and I forever appreciate that one line he has about the incompetence of adults lmao.

And of course, the real star of the show here for me, HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH NILE. MY GOD I AM SO ILL ABOUT THEM. They’re bond is immediately built on a strong mutual respect for each other and honestly it is incredible how instantly they click. With so many other characters, there was at least a little bit of animosity at first between them, but besides a brief moment where he thinks Nile is going to run away from battles, they get along INSTANTLY. Nile matches Kyoya’s energy so perfectly and they just go together so well. I also love how much pride Kyoya holds in Nile. Like, when Nile battles Masamune, Kyoya absolutely lights up. He’s so riled up to see someone who he knows is incredible and strong really get to put that on display and every time in that battle it cuts back to him, he just has the biggest, proudest smile and I think that’s just beautiful. I love how well these two mesh together and that is why it gets especially frustrating in fury when Kyoya says he doesn’t work with anyone and blah blah blah RIGHT IN FRONT OF NILE AND NILE DOESNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I just want more of them dude they’re so good together.

[iamwhelmed]

I’d kill for a fanfiction where Helga and Curly get stuck over summer, between elementary and middle school, together and unintentionally become, like, best friends. They bond over being a little eccentric, and over art, and over unrequited love (assuming, of course, Jungle Movie doesn’t happen-- or at least doesn’t happen until, like, way later).

They’re both so obnoxious together, they enable each other like nobody else. They’re making loud, unintelligible, annoying noises whenever somebody (likely Arnold, Lila, Sid...) starts getting preachy or annoying: “MAWP. MAWP. MAWP. See? That’s what you sound like”.

Curly starts completing Helga’s sentences-- but purposely at inopportune moments because she hates it when he does that. He always gives her this little shit-eating grin.

Curly starts getting manic and Helga just grabs him by the shoulders and goes: “Look at me. Look at me. Look at me! Does that sound sane? Does that sound like a thing normal people would do?” And she gets him to maybe back off of letting all the animals in the zoo loose, but she’ll help him sneak into the chimpanzee pen after dark so he can fight one.

Helga starts panicking about her secret love for Arnold getting out and Curly walks her through five different plans of execution to make the Scary Feeling™ go away. Phoebe is the one who tries (sometimes fails) to shut these mission ideas down.

He and Helga have a pact to get platonically married if they hit 30 and are still single. Curly has picked out the suit for this occasion and has a catalogue of possible dresses for Helga, who he knows will be picky. Helga has booked the venue just in case, because she’s nothing if not pragmatic.

Boys will walk up to hit on Helga, and Curly leans back and rates their courting tactics on a scale of 1 to 10, and nobody ever gets more than a 4. Curly will cup his hands over his mouth and audibly mock them after they inevitably get shut down because Helga is a one-man girl: “Your approach was commonplace, your appeal was substandard, and you should feel bad!” Phoebe will smack him after this.

Helga has adopted this rating system for just about anything-- his mental state, hotness of girls, comfort level-- almost like a secret language akin to Ice Cream, but she mainly uses it to ask Curly about his opinions in cinema. Phoebe is the only one who can keep up with what is being communicated, because they cut out so many words that are, to them, superfluous (Phoebe’s verbiage.)

Helga: Backgrounds, eh, 3.

Curly: 4. Script?

Helga: 5.

Curly: Modest.

Helga: Themes?

Curly: 3.

Helga: Also modest.

Curly is involuntarily good with girls when they come back from break. The kicker is that he is totally, incomprehensibly oblivious to it. He’s simply just a charismatic, romantic, suave guy. Years of pining after Rhonda made that a part of him. Him getting hit on and ogled is just a part of Helga’s life, now. She’s the guard dog who pinches hands when they try to touch the unaware pretty boy.

Now, this definitely causes some jealousy in Arnold, because he’s been trying to be friends with Helga for so long, and Curly just... does it without trying??? Also, he is subconsciously aware FiT was not heat-of-the-moment and this feels oddly like Curly is stealing from him-- not that he acknowledges that or recognizes it on any level. Rhonda is also very, very jealous. Not only did Curly get hot over the summer, now Helga is too??? M’am, there is only room for one beauty in Curly’s life and that has always been her.

Phoebe is put off by the possibility of being replaced at first, and almost certainly gets defensive, offensive with Curly over it. But that’s, like, for one episode arc. Now, they’re a trio and she’s the exasperated Mom that keeps her two chaotic, self-destructive children in check.

People think they’re dating (Arnold and Rhonda will disavow this to anybody who will listen), and come up to them asking about how they met, how they got together. Helga and Curly will go out of their way to fuck with these kids.

Random girl fifth grader, stars in her eyes: What is the key to a stable relationship?

Curly: *Undisguised snorting* Live. Laugh. Love?

Helga: I have no idea! You tell me! I’ve never been in one.

Curly: *unrestrained side-holding laughter*

Some other sixth grader who didn’t go to elementary with them: If your relationship had a theme song what would it be?

Curly, turning to Helga, who is muffling herself: Don’t laugh this is serious. *Turns to sixth grader* Crawling In My Skin.

Helga brings out the artist in Curly, the real man who loves deeply and the cute, handsome dork he is, and reigns in his “crazy”. Curly brings out Helga’s wild side and makes her live a little, and inspires her to hide her true self less. They’re like platonic Morticia and Gomez Adams. In this hypothetical, I’m 90% sure this was a Halloween costume they did together at some point. Phoebe was Wednesday.

[headheartbellarke]

I Wish You Would | CHARLIE GILLESPIE

Requested by anon: “hello🌼 could u please write a charlie x reader imagine when he posts a picture on his instagram story with a girl to makes his crush jealous, but she end up distancing herself from him bc she's hurt and respect what she thinks is his relationship” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 2,445 WARNING(s): angst w a happy ending, some language SUMMARY: “I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live."

A/N: hi, everyone!! really, really sorry that this took so long. haven’t had the best march tbh, and writer’s block is a bitch. && this isn’t very good, either, but i had to get something done. love u <3

TEN HOURS EARLIER

“And… post!” Charlie taps his phone, grinning brightly.

Owen cheers from behind him, his voice meshing into the humdrum of the bar they’re currently at. “I’m so proud of you!”

His friend laughs, spinning around in the bar stool to face him. “She’ll finally understand what it feels like!”

Owen nods frantically, taking another sip of the drink in his hand.

Charlie copies his movement – a part of him knows that he is absolutely hammered, but the bigger part of him doesn’t care. He’s had a long day, and he deserves this.

Besides, how else would he and his best friend have thought of this wonderful plan if they didn’t have a billion drinks in their system?

PRESENT

A knock on the door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. “Come in!” She yells, but her voice comes out feeble and hoarse, probably from all the crying she’s been doing for the past hour.

As the door swings open, her best friend, Savannah, pokes her head in. “Hey, babe. You all right?”

Y/N sniffs. “M’fine.”

Savannah enters the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walks to the window, opening the curtains, and Y/N groans when light floods into the previously dark room.

She sits on the bed beside Y/N, and Y/N rests her head on her shoulder as she pulls the covers up to cover their bodies.

“I’m sure that they’re not dating.” Savannah says, wrapping an arm around her best friend.

Y/N chuckles sadly. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Sav. I mean, in the photo, he was kissing her cheek. Literally. And he put a heart between them.”

Savannah sighs. “That’s so not Charlie, you know… kissing random girls in bars and posting pictures with them.”

“Yeah, that’s so not Charlie, because she’s not a random girl. Her name’s Francesca and she went to high school with him, so, technically, she’s known him longer, and probably better than me.”

“I – I had no idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Y/N, babe, just tell him about how you feel. I’m sure that he likes you too.”

“If he liked me, then he wouldn’t be kissing Francesca!”

Y/N exhales, as Savannah gulps, not knowing what to respond. “Y/N, I – I swear, he’s crazy about you. I don’t know what happened between last Friday and today, but I swear – the Charlie that I know – has eyes for no one but you.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart at Savannah’s words. “Savannah, we kissed and then he ghosted me for a day and now he’s posting pictures of him kissing another girl! I think he has eyes for everyone!”

Savannah bites her lower lip, not knowing what to respond, again. Her best friend feels tears prick at the back of her eyes when she says, “Maybe I’m a bad kisser.”

Savannah’s eyes widen, and she sits up, straight. “No. No. Babe, no. Don’t say that, ever. You’re a great kisser, okay! You’re an amazing kisser. Your lips are fine as hell, believe me. He’s the one with crusty ass lips. They’re not even lips, they look like… like… peanuts.”

Y/N stares at her best friend for a moment, before saying, “Peanuts, Sav? Really?”

“It’s the first thing that came into my mind!” She says defensively, before the girls break into a fit of laughter.

“I’m never talking to him again, ever.” Y/N says after they’ve calmed down. “I’m never even gonna look in his direction. Fucking asshole.”

*

Charlie sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. It’s eight in the morning, and he’s normally a morning person – he loves the mornings, the peace, the quiet, and the feeling that comes along with it more than anything, but right now, he just feels… sad.

On regular days, he would be talking to his best friend, Y/N, about everything that’s on his mind. But today’s different.

Last Friday, Y/N kissed him, and long story sort, it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. After work that day, they went to get some food at a drive through, like they usually do. All throughout the ride, they made plans to go hiking once the production for season two finishes. She drove the car to a lookout, and oh, god, it was so pretty. The midnight sky was littered with stars, and since they were at the edge of town, there was less pollution, and they could see bits of the galaxy, too.

But, for some reason, the girl next to him seemed more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen, and after they finished eating, he just sat and stared at her talk about the last book that she’d read, for a while. He knows that it was terrible that he wasn’t listening – but how could he pay attention to anything when she looked like that, especially with passion illuminating her face like times square on New Year’s Eve?

She had looked at him as if he’d just grown a third head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Li – like what?” He’d asked, embarrassed to be blatantly caught.

“Like that…” She’d said and kissed him, and it felt like he was seeing colour for the first time. Although, the next day, everything turned to shit.

Now, it’s Monday, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He desperately wants to know if his and Owen’s plan actually worked (no reason that it wouldn’t), and he feels so impatient right now, and he misses her. Also, his massive hangover isn’t helping, either.

He hears his name being called, and sees Kenny smiling at him.

“Hey, so we’re gonna do a different scene today, since Y/N and Savannah are out, is that okay with you?”

His heart races. “What happened to them?”

“Y/N’s sick, and Savannah’s taking care of her.”

“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay with me.” He says, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

*

“This is the last time I’m asking you this…” Y/N sings, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Put my name at the top of your list!” Savannah sings, using Y/N’s straightener as a mic.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why!” Madison joins.

“You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye!” Jadah sings, jumping on the bed.

As the second verse comes on, the girls sit on Y/N’s bed, huddled close to each other.

“You know, I’m feeling better now than I did when I woke up.” Y/N says, resting her chin on her knees.

“Taylor Swift can fix anything.” Madison says, leaning her head on Y/N’s shoulder.

She nods. “And y’all. Thanks for being here.”

Jadah grins, wrapping an arm around her. “We couldn’t let you have a pity party all alone!”

Savannah laughs. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear.”

“As relieving as that would be, don’t. I’ve decided what I should do.”

Madison quirks a brow. “You’re gonna kill him yourself?”

“Madi! No. I’m gonna distance myself.”

Savannah tilts her head. “I think that maybe you two should talk it out.”

“I don’t think so. I need space, time to figure it out. My head feels like a mess. And I respect him and Francesca, and I’m not gonna dip my toes between them.”

The other girls solemnly nod their head.

“You do realize that that’s not actually the saying?” Jadah says, after a while.

“Don’t embarrass me, kid.”

*

Charlie exhales, watching his breath crystallize to tiny ice particles in front of him. Even though, he’s a Canadian, he still feels cold. Although maybe it’s not due to the weather, but due to the coldness in Y/N’s eyes.

He watches her chat with Jeremy a few feet away, both of them discussing something that is out of bounds to him. He knows that it’s probably decisions regarding their characters, considering Y/N’s character is Jeremy’s character, Reggie’s love interest, but a part of him feels like it’s shit about him.

He has no reason to feel that way, of course. He hasn’t spoken to Y/N in four days, and this morning, when he saw her after for what feels to be eternity, he was blatantly ignored. He had only watched helplessly as Y/N exited the room the moment he entered and had sunk into his chair feeling like absolute shit, especially with everyone’s pitiful stares.

Charlie’s mind keeps replaying each moment, torturing over every tiny detail, wondering what he did wrong.

And that’s when it hits him: she really doesn’t want him anymore.

Last Saturday, he had hopelessly watched her with her long-term boyfriend of god-knows-how-long – he had come to surprise her on set, and it was Charlie that was more surprised. Because he thought that they were over, for good. And it wasn’t like they seemed like they weren’t dating. They were acting just like they used to when they were dating, and he was too close to her for his comfort. They still laughed the same, joked around the same, and were just as inseparable as they used to be.

A question kept rising in Charlie’s mind, like an icicle to his heart: why would she kiss him when she already had someone else? Why would she give him hope, and then take it all away? Why would she dangle his hurt in front of him?

So, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, and posted a picture with Francesca, his high school friend, who he had run into that night.

Owen sinks into the chair beside Charlie. “You okay?”

“I’m starting to believe that our plan didn’t work.”

*

“Hey, uh, Y/N?”

The girl in question hears Charlie’s voice, and turns around, avoiding looking into his eyes.

“Can we talk?” He says, and for a moment, her defences are down again. He looks so… tired, almost like he’s going through the same things that she is. Almost like there’s an explanation as to why he broke her heart, why he ruined something that had the potential to be extraordinary, why he made her feel so bad about herself.

And she almost believes it, too. Like the fool she is.

She presses her lips into a thin line, and says, “Nothing to talk about.”

As Charlie opens his mouth to protest, she smiles and walks away.

*

“Okay, Charlie, you two need to talk it out. This is too much. Both of you are obviously hurting, and there’s obviously some serious miscommunication here.”

Charlie shakes his head at Savannah’s words. “She hates me.”

“No. She could never hate you.” She says, thrusting her phone in Charlie’s face. His eyes squint to read the text on the screen – from Y/N.

Sorry – forgot to leave a note. Drove down to Dad’s, gonna stay here for a while. It’s too painful – honestly, you know what? I’m still very, very, very mad at him. But I’m also missing him very, very, very much. So, I need to flush it out. Flush him out. He might be a jerk, but he’s still one of the best people that I’ve ever met. Love you, okay? Will return when the time is right.

Charlie’s eyes widen, and he stares at Savannah’s face for a while. “There – there is still hope!”

She nods frantically. “You should call her –”

“I’m gonna drive down to her dad’s house, too!”

“That works, too.”

*

A frantic knock on the front door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. She stops typing on her keyboard, and flips the lid shut, keeping it on the dining table in front of her.

She runs to her dad’s door, knowing that it’s him, back from his shopping. She opens the door, saying, “Let me take those for – Charlie?!”

Y/N’s heart swells at his sight as he grins sheepishly.

“So, there’s been some misunderstandings… can I come in?” He asks, and Y/N pauses, considering.

He sighs, and adds, “Please?”

She stares at him.

He juts his bottom lip out. “Pretty please?”

“Fine, come in.”

He closes the door behind him, wordlessly following Y/N, who feels like she might hurl right now. They sit on the couch, and it’s really, really awkward for a few seconds.

Y/N sighs. “You said you –”

“Yes. Yes, yeah. OK, so – I, uh, I –”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Why would you do that to me? Do I really mean that little to you?”

“I could say the same about you!”

“Really?”

“Yes! I saw you with Shahid that day, I know that you two are back together –”

“Shahid?!”

“Yes!”

She stares at him, baffled.

“So…so… Francesca….”

“I only posted the picture to make you jealous! She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and the rest of my high school friends, and of course I went, and she saw that I was being a little… unsocial. So, I told her about how the girl that I’m completely crazy about has a boyfriend! And a long term one at that, too! And then Owen came up with a brilliant plan, and I guess you know what it was. Now, I’m realizing that it might not have worked.”

She stares at him for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. Charlie throws her a confused look.

“You – you thought that Shahid – Shahid, my best friend since we were in nappies, Shahid who is married to this amazing man, and at whose wedding I was the maid of honour – you thought that I was dating him?”

“He’s gay?!”

“Bisexual. Oh my god, I have to tell him. This is hilarious.”

Charlie bites the corner of his lower lip, feeling his cheeks heat up. “This is really embarrassing. But you two act like you’re dating!”

“No, we don’t. You’re just being insecure and jealous. I’ve known him forever, and yes, I am the most comfortable around him. Because he’s my family. He’s my brother. Oh, god, I can’t believe that you were jealous of him – wait, have you thought that we were dating this whole time?”

“Kind of. I thought you guys broke up when he didn’t visit you on set during the first two months of production.”

“He was helping feed kids in Somali.”

“Oh. Oh. God, I feel so –”

“Dumb? That’s because you are.”

He grins sheepishly, his cheeks crimson.

Y/N smiles. “But I forgive you. And I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a proper date this time.”

“Deal. Also, promise that we’ll always talk it out before… you know… doing anything?”

She laughs, and nods. He wraps his pinkie finger around hers.

“Well, Owen’s plan did kind of work, though.”

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

[cafedanslanuit]

Legend

♡   —   personal favourites

☆   —   fan favourites

♠   —   nsfw

♫   —   includes songs

Headcanons

RFA + Saeran - Dirty Dancing  ♫ ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC wants to have her own business

RFA - MC is ten years older than them ♡

RFA - What goes through their mind when they’re cuddling? ☆

RFA + Vanderwood - Having a rebellious kid ♡

RFA - MC can’t sleep unless with them

RFA - A bubbly MC makes self-deprecating jokes as a coping mechanism ♡

RFA - MC that is bubbly, confident and never afraid to stand up for someone

Yoosung dragging MC back to bed because it’s raining

RFA + V - MC blasts music when she’s upset ♫

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a passion for anime and drawing

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a major in fashion

RFA + Saeran - Quarantine edition ♡

RFA + V + Saeran + Obey Me! brothers on a trip to the beach ♡ ☆

RFA - MC with a hand fetish

MC has Jumin trying commoner food

Zen + Jumin + Saeyoung - MC is selfconscious about being chubby and they make her feel better  ♠ ♡

Jumin comforts MC about a guy who is texting her constantly and making her upset

RFA reacts to a MC that is called Elizabeth

RFA + V + Saeran - As Les Misérables songs  ♫ ♡

Saeyoung messes with Yoosung’s phone to help him out

Saeyoung x MC - MC makes her own music

Latina!MC and Jumin get stuck with MC’s latino parents during quarantine ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC gets her wisdom teeth out ♡ ☆

RFA + V + Saeran - MC has a bad coping mechanism of punching her thighs (tw!)

Domestic Texts Series: Zen & MC || Saeran & MC ♡

RFA - MC is obsessed with Elizabeth the 3rd

RFA + V + Saeran with a MC that likes going to protests

RFA - MC grew up in really bad poverty

RFA + V + Saeran - They find out MC is only eighteen after everything that happened during their routes ☆

RFA - How do they calm MC when she’s anxious?

RFA - MC has dyslexia

RFA - MC with chronic pain

Royal AUs with Jumin, Zen and Yoosung

Love Language Event with Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Saeyoung, Saeran and V

Happy New Year Event with Saeyoung, Saeran, Zen, V and Yoosung

Thirst Asks [+18]

[All Asks]

[Jumin] [Jihyun] [Yoosung]

Fanfiction

Mystic Messenger as failed love stories  ♡

reminiscing about the characters and your failed love stories in an alternate universe

You get me ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

Bet you can’t leave me

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. “The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt like I was dying.”

Who are you?

Drabble prompt - Zen always sought recognition for his work. Lately, he’s been using other resource to achieve his goals.

Dance with me

Latina!MC tries to teach Zen to dance bachata.

Jealousy [Kinktober 2020 - Day 2] ♠

When Zen agreed to be MC's plus one at a fancy party, he never expected she would lock them both inside a bathroom in a fit of jealousy. The hunger in her eyes could only indicate she was about to remind him who he was with.

A plan gone wrong [Mysme Angst Week - Day 1]

You convinced Zen to stage a fake coffee date in order to give Jumin, your fiancé, a wake up call about how much he had been ignoring you lately. However, things don't go as planned.

i could buy you anything but i cannot buy you  ♠ ♡

[kinktober 2021 - day fifteen: body worship] Zen had always had the need to be in control for a lot of years. (...) His guard may not be up as much as it did back then, but to this day Zen still takes a second look at any situation he’s in. He can’t let anything drive him away from his acting career so he always has to give his best and not take anything for granted.

You get me  ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

I always wanted to marry rich

Jumin Han stood with his hand holding the doorknob, not believing what he had just heard. There was no way this was happening. Not days before his wedding. Not only that, days before he married who he thought was the love of his life. The one who he thought he could trust, the one that didn’t ask for anything but his love and attention.

Home

You are staying at Jaehee’s after Jumin did something that made you really angry. While staying there, you start feeling sick and end up at the hospital. What you first thought was nothing to worry about, quickly turns into a nightmare that could change your relationship.

Sweet Creature  ♫ ♡

Jumin gets stuck in another country away from his wife due to the pandemic. He’s been having trouble falling asleep, so MC decides to tell him a bedtime story. A simple request ends up making Jumin open up about a small insecurity he had over his wife and his best friend.

If I could tell him  ♫

Request: “can i request a jumin fic where MC has a crush on jumin but is very shy and so ends up talking with the other members more and then jumin confronts her about it and she accidentally confesses/he confesses.”

Animal I Have Become  ♫

500 followers event. “So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it’s not the real me.”

Young God ♫  ♠

500 followers event. “He says: “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges. I’m the king of everything, you know my tongue is a weapon. There’s a line on the clock that’s separating your thighs, if you wanna go to Heaven you should fuck me tonight.”

Crowded Room  ♫ ♡ ☆

500 followers event. “Baby, it’s just me and you, just us two, even in a crowded room, baby it’s just me and you” - [SMAU Epilogue]

Dear Jumin ♡ ☆

What if after all the events that happened during Jumin’s route, he didn’t fall in love with MC?

A new life

When MC gets into a car accident, Jumin ends up with her medical records. He never thought he would find out about what happened to his wife six years ago.

You see me in my room, wish you were here right now [Kinktober 2020 - Day 12] ♠ ☆

Jumin Han clicks on a pop-up ad and gets stuck into a cam girl website. As he waits for someone to come to his penthouse and fix his laptop, he can't help but notice a young woman giggling as she read through he comment section. From that moment on, he's hooked. And he can't wait to see more of her.

Sometimes I think about Elizabeth [Mysme Angst Week - Day 3]

Jumin tries to deal with the grief of losing Elizabeth the 3rd.

A late night conversation

A late night conversation with Jumin takes another turn into a much better scenario. [Fix-it fic for Jumin's DLC. Set on Episode 3]

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition  ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

A day off

For @/mysme-rbb event! You convince Jumin to take a small trip to the theme park. Taking into consideration it was the first time either of you had stepped foot in a place like that, it went exactly like expected.

you know i’m just a flight away (if you wanted you could take a private plane) ♠ ♡ ☆

[kinktober 2021 - day five: sex tape] Knowing Jumin is about to leave on yet another work trip, you suggest recording something for him to see while away. A little souvenir so he doesn't miss you too much- but now he's not sure he wants to leave at all.

Superstar  ♫

500 followers event. “Before I met you, I pushed them all away / Soon as I kissed you, I wanted you to stay.”

What you always wanted

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. As MC’s anniversary with Saeyoung is approaching, she asks her friends of the RFA for advice on what present is the best one. After several recommendations, she decides on what she should give him. Her only hope is that he’ll be happy with her choice.

The Ghost Of You   ♡   [ Vietnamese translation ]

A love story between a man with a mysterious job and a nurse during the Second World War. “And all the things that you never ever told me and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me. Never coming home, never coming home.”

Loving You ☆

Drabble Prompt. “I am profoundly enchanted by the flowing complexity in you.” - John Keats

Discoveries [Kinktober 2020 - Day 27] ♠

After you find a transparent light blue dildo hidden in Saeyoung's room, the question hangs in the air. Why not trying it out together?

Lost on you [Mysme Angst Week - Day 2]

A discussion about how to handle Saeran's recovery turns into the worst fight Saeyoung and MC have ever had. Both of them bring back past memories that should have never been talked about, in a desperate try to prove their point, not noticing how much they're tearing their relationship apart.

Just like him [Mysme Angst Week - Day 7]

No one teaches you how to grief. Sometimes you just do whatever it helps the pain go away.

give me the stars

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeyoung’s birthday. A late-night escapade for two young lovers.

Wildest Dreams  ♫ ♡

500 followers event. Slightly NSFW. “He says no one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.”

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

Beautiful  ♡

Jihyun has a couple of burn scars on his torso after the fire that took his mother’s life. You make sure you know he loves every part of him.

Wait for me

When the pandemic starts, MC gets stuck in another country, away from Saeran who was just starting his recovery. She tries to work a system with him so they can feel close even when they’re kilometres apart.

How ♫

500 followers event. “I’m asking for your help, I am going through hell, afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice.”

Vanilla ♠ ♡ ☆

NSFW. Saeran’s favourite place was between MC’s legs.

Apricity

Drabble Prompt. He never understood the reason behind this change (...). All he knew was that when winter came, he would start feeling tired out of nowhere and he would lose his appetite.

Gardening

Drabble Prompt. In which Saeyoung and MC break one of Saeran’s pot and they try to cover it up before he gets home.

All I’ve Ever Known  ♡ ☆

Drabble Prompt. Saeran has some doubts before his wedding. Thankfully, you’re there to send all his worries away.

Not to be able to love

Drabble Prompt. He wants to love her, he does. But when you’ve been through that much, it gets hard to love and not need.

Four Seasons (15 chapters)  ♠ ♡

Saeran’s After Ending. Saeran has finally found MC and is ectasic to finally be able to enjoy the good ending his tumultous life has reached. But with Saeyoung still missing and Mint Eye around, his happiness may have to wait a little more. Was love really capable to win against his inner demons or will he have to learn to fight for himself?

In another life [Mysme Angst Week - Day 4]

When MC knows her time is coming, she promises Saeran she will do whatever it takes to find him in another life. The only mistake was that she didn't expect to find him like that.

Our time

Saeran is saying his goodbyes but this time, you decide not to let him go. || Fix-it fic for Saeran's After Ending

even in the dark

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeran’s birthday. Some days are better than others. But the people who love us stay through it all.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Yandere alien Bucky x astronaut darling

I find this request very unique! I’ve never actually thought about this before, so thank you for bringing this creative idea <3

P.S. The action takes place in the future.

The Reason

Pairing: alien!Bucky Barnes x astronaut!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, death of minor characters, allusion to breeding and non-con.

Words: 2985.

_____________________

When you finally managed to open your eyes, everything was pitch black for a couple of minutes. Your body hurt so much as if someone threw you into a well, then pulled your dead body out, and threw it back in. The oxygen mask on your face felt heavy as hell.

You easily recognized the monotonous sounds of life support system since it wasn’t your first space mission. Damn, what had happened? Did you finally get that significant brain damage Dr. Strange was so concerned about? You didn’t remember blacking out so violently after your last spaceflights. This one wasn’t even your longest.

When you saw the room, you stared at the unnaturally high ceiling that you couldn’t blame on your blurry vision. It just didn’t look the same. Did they move the Adaptation Center to a new building or something? Did Dr. Strange mentioned it before? You couldn’t remember, really. You didn’t think he did.

Despite the fact that you felt weightless, moving your body seemed nearly impossible as you struggled to move your legs. Shit, and there you thought those magic drugs NASA offered you last time were way better than their usual treatments. 

Wait. You didn’t finish your mission. You weren’t returning to Earth yet as you had around 6 more months to spend in space. Had something happened? Did Dr. Str-

Oh yes. Dr. Strange was dead. You still remembered his face when Sergeant Barnes, an extraterrestrial from Theseus-17, had shot him right in front of you.

When you saved them from their greatly damaged spacecraft, it was five of them: Steve Rogers, the Captain, their leader; Tony Stark, the Pilot; Bruce Banner, the Doctor; Vision, the Pastor, and James Buchanan Barnes, the Soldier. All of them simply used human analogues of their true names, but the members of your crew didn't protest: since Theseus-17 was incredibly far even for your highly technologically advanced spaceships, you knew very little of its inhabitants. Apparently, they attempted to establish a good relationship between your races - especially since you had so much biological similarities. In fact, they might be the closest to humans among other species you had ever encountered before, you thought.

Well, it was true, but you failed to see they would use it to their advantage to the fullest.

They were a militaristic alien race with predominantly male population controlled by stratocratic government. Their planet was three times smaller than Earth, but their technological advancement was unbelievable, especially compared to human's: it allowed them to invade several other small planets and colonize them in the past. However, due to some extreme DNA mutations, their female population was declining decade after decade resulting in zero births over the last five years. The Hydrarirans, as they called themselves, were rapidly facing extinction, Steve told you while explaining the reasons why they were so far from their home.

You had a pretty long talk after Bucky had shot Dr. Strange, and Tony strangled Wong. You barely remembered what had happened next, though you could guess you ended up being drugged by Hydrarians. Fuck. Did you send a signal back to Earth? You couldn't tell. Well, you certainly remembered Dr. Strange sending a message about saving the crew of Theseus-17 spacecraft. If you went missing, it would be a clear sign of something going very wrong.

But you still were God knew where. Gradually becoming extremely nervous with each passing second, you looked at the countless wires attached to your body and started to pull, forcefully taking them out of your skin and silently crying - you didn't remember feeling so much pain since the times of your first space mission. Violently throwing away the oxygen mask, you crawled on the bed until you fell to the floor with a loud thud. Shit.

You stayed there for a couple of minutes, afraid Hydrarians would quickly discover what you were doing, but since you heard nothing, you crawled further from bed to a wide glass wall, your vision still blurry. Where were you? It didn't feel like a spacecraft. It felt like you were brought to an unknown planet, and when you saw two red suns shining in the black sky, you realized it was exactly like Steve described his planet to you.

No, no, it couldn't be. Theseus-17 was God knew how many light years away. Their ship wasn't in the condition to fly you there so fast, yours even less so, and you certainly hadn't been put in a cryostasis. However, how well did you know what technology these alien freaks possessed? What if they could be using some teleport able to cover enormous distances? It could easily be an option.

Crawling further to the window, you had finally reached it and touched its cold surface. It certainly looked and felt like a glass beneath your palm.

The black meadows you stared upon were nothing like the ones you saw from a window of the little house where you spent your childhood. This place was wicked, evil. You could feel it in the air as you inhaled that strange, sickly sweet oxygen or whatever it was. No wonder their women couldn't handle living here, and you wouldn't last here either. It was clear what you were brought here for, and even the thought of it was repulsive to you. How dare they? How barbaric were these freaks, intending to use human women as some breeding machinery? If their military experiments made them facing extinction, then let it be, you thought, horrified and disgusted at the same time.

You rubbed your droopy eyes, feeling the wetness on the back of your palm as you tried not to cry, thinking what were your options except to submit silently to your abductors. How were you going to navigate a ship back home? How were you going to steal a ship? Actually, how were you going to leave this damn room, considering that your body was almost unable to move because of the time you spent in space? Recovery would take quite some time, unless Hydrarians had advanced medical support for cosmonauts. You hoped they did, because spending months to recover while staying with these savages wasn't an option.

Huh, it was better to listen to your mom and become a doctor. Now you'd be sitting in your cabinet and listening to concerns of elderly ladies, not being locked away on a planet with no female population. You had hard times imagining what they would do to you if you end up being thrown in a crowd of mad men yearning for intimacy for years.

Rubbing your eyes again, you exhaled loudly. You were in deep, deep shit.

When the white wall beside you suddenly moved to the side, allowing a tall, menacing man in a black military suit to enter, you held your breath, watching Sergeant Barnes walking into the room. You thought of his metal hand with a red star engraved on it - he could snap your neck with one swift motion if he wanted to, though he could probably do it with his flesh hand, too. Certainly, he was both skilled in combat and cybernetically enhanced, so escaping with him guarding you would be extremely problematic. You'd prefer to meet Vision instead of the grim Soldier.

"What are you doing, woman?" Barnes asked as he saw you on the floor with your back pressed to the glass wall, your arms bleeding from violently tearing the wires of the life support system out of your body. Apparently, you didn't look as good as he expected you to.

"A woman has a name." You said sternly, watching one of your abductors marched through the room and trying your best not to tremble. If he was raised in a stratocratic society, he valued power and strong will more than anything else, probably, so you had to pull yourself together.

“I am sorry.” He suddenly said, bowing his head as he stood right in front of you. “If it pleases you, I will refer to you by your name only, Y/N.”

You blinked, your vision still unfocused and blurry - a part of you was thankful for that since you couldn’t see Soldier’s face clearly. You doubted he looked very friendly, despite talking to you with some respect.

“Don’t touch me.” You commanded as he leaned closer to take you back to bed, his shiny combat boots touching your bare leg just slightly, making you shiver involuntarily.

“We have medication to nurse you back to health, but you still need the life support system. Please, do not resist.” Sergeant Barnes once again tried to pick you up, but you grabbed him by the wrist instead, silently staring at his pale face half-covered by that black mask he wore.

The man got silent and froze on the spot, looking at you with a strange glint in his eyes. He certainly didn’t seem menacing or angry, but there was something in him you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Why wasn’t he upset by your behavior? Soldier didn’t try grabbing you forcefully, nevertheless.

Could it be your contact, then? You might be the first woman to touch him in years. Thinking of it, the very next moment you recoiled, crawling away to increase the distance between you two.

Maybe the man was disappointed, but you couldn’t see it with that blank expression he wore as he suddenly sat down on the floor close to you, and then took his mask away, showing you his rather handsome, yet gloomy face. He looked... human, and it truly scared you. 

“I know you think we are a threat to you, but we are not.” He said calmly, watching you. “I will not hurt you. I promise.”

You were ready to laugh at that. “You’ve killed my crew, people who I’d been working with for years.”

“Yes, and I am sorry for that. It was necessary.”

Necessary. What an interesting word he found to describe what he and his comrades had done.

“Don’t you understand what will happen once people from Earth learn about you and things you did?” As he cocked his head to the side, his dark uneven hair falling on his shoulder, you realized he wasn’t scared at all. “We can wipe you out of existence. Even if all of your kind are soldiers, there are billions of us, humans. You aren’t a threat.”

“We are not trying to be one.”

He extended his hand in attempt to touch you, but you recoiled and crawled away a bit further, narrowing your eyes at Sergeant. Whatever he was doing, it couldn’t be good for you.

“Please, do not be afraid. Right now you are the most precious being on our planet, and anyone trying to hurt you will be beheaded at the very least.” 

Of course, you were. If Captain told you the truth, you were the one and only young woman on Hydra. You would be treasured, but you dreaded what they would do to you. Even thinking of it made you face twist in revulsion.

“What makes you think using me like a cattle won’t hurt me?”

“A cattle?”

For a few seconds Soldier got silent, and you realized he was searching the meaning of this word - now you managed to see a strange device on his ear that looked like an old Bluetooth garniture or something. Then the man looked at you with a surprised expression on his face, and you felt an urge to bite your tongue to stop thinking how human he appeared now.

“I assure you, you will never be degraded to such an inferior being. On the contrary, we can give you anything you wish for. I know the status of women on Earth is still far from being equal to men’s, but you are godlike to us.”

Carefully lifting his hand again, Barnes had took a shiny black glove from his flesh arm and showed you his hand with five fingers, spreading them for you to see he was as human as you. For the first time you felt like you wanted to cry, and bit down on your lower lip. God, why? Why did he look just like any other man? Why was he trying to seem kind to you? It would be so much easier if he was hurting you, pressing your face into the floor and binding your arms.

“I swear to you on the name of my mother, I will do anything in my power to make you happy.” 

Apparently, it was some sacred oath, judging by the way his cold blue eyes gleamed, but you weren’t buying it. Make you happy? The one and only thing he could do was letting you go back home, to your own kind, and allow you to forget what had happened above your ship, the image of Dr. Strange with a wide hole in his chest still making you clench your fists.

“Why are you so sure we are a good substitute? If your own women weren’t able to survive here, what makes you think human females can?”

“Because our extensive research proves it. Moreover, a couple of human females have already been living here for several years.” Your face became distorted with horror at his words. “Captain’s wife was even able to give birth to two healthy children this year. They are the first children to be born on our planet in the last five years.”

“Humans will destroy your planet. They will kill all of you when they learn you’re kidnapping our women!”

“We are already in contact with your kind.” Dropping the glove to the floor, Barnes attempted to smile at you, confirming your suspicions he barely knew how to do it. “It is true, you are much greater in number than we are. But all of us are warriors with far more advanced technology and abundant resources. We will be able to damage your planet heavily before you eradicate each and every of us.”

The more he talked, the harder it was to follow - without the life support system, the lack of oxygen was making it harder for you to breathe, impossible to focus as you started breathing heavier, louder than before, but still refused to come back to bed, staring at the man in front of you with disgust and fear. God, it was better to suffocate than stay here with him.

“Do you know we possess twenty times more the amount of Vibranium you humans do?” Crawling closer to you like a spider, Soldier was watching you with both great interest and concern written all over his face. “We also have tritium and plutonium, too, as well as minerals you do not have on Earth at all. We are ready to trade them for something humans have in abundance.”

You were close to vomit, your eyes tearing up as you rubbed them furiously. You tried convincing yourself no one knew you were going to be captured by ruthless aliens. Of course, no one on Earth knew anything about that. There was no agreement between Theseus-17 and Earth to trade women for Vibranium and other resources. It would be direct violations of human rights and...

And it was very likely of humans to do, considering the lack of resources you had been facing over the last couple of decades.

When you started weeping, horrified of the things awaiting you in the nearest future, Sergeant finally reached you, wiping away your tears with his flesh hand. His touch was very subtle, gentle even, as he tenderly pressed his finger to your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin. His hand was warm, too.

“It’s not true.” You cried, turning your face to the glass wall and leaving wet marks on it. “They’ll come for me... I won’t become s-some shared property.”

“Of course you will not,” he shushed you gently, enveloping you in what seemed like a hug, lowering your head to his shoulder. “You will be a queen to me. I will treat you right, I swear.”

“You?”

Stilling, you bit down on your tongue, feeling the metallic taste filling your mouth as you drew some blood. Concentrating when your brain was lacking oxygen wasn’t easy, but you could still breathe, inhaling deeply, trying to calm yourself. He said something about Captain’s wife, didn’t he? He said she gave him two children. He said you wouldn’t become a shared property.

Dear Lord.

“I won’t be yours.” You whispered through tears, pushing the man’s chest in desperate attempt to keep him away from you. “I’m not your possession. I won’t be yours!”

You saw him frowning at you, his expression growing darker, more impatient, enraged even as you crawled away from him, your legs too weak to hold you. Oh, he didn’t like you looking at him like that when you realized you were given to him like some prize he won in an amusement park.

But Soldier wasn’t having it. Had you ever thought what it cost him to spend years in combat to earn his privileges, his right to travel among the best of the best? Did you know how much time he travelled across multiple universes to find exactly what he was searching for? Huh, you couldn’t even imagine what he felt when the team got coordinates of your ship, when he saw you for the first time on hologram, smiling and laughing at jokes of Dr. Strange.

Grabbing you forcefully and lifting you off the floor, he raised you in the air above his head, making you silent in fear of being smashed against the floor.

“I have fought for you.” He let out a guttural growl like an animal. “I have killed for you. I have earned my privilege to have you, and no one can challenge my right. You are my woman, and you will stay here with me.”

________________________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @soleil-dor @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @iheartsebastianstan ​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @ninefuckingoneone

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 1

photo credit: @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, drinking, brief mention of drugs.

summary - You finally meet the BAU, little progress is made in terms of the case. 

a/n - early update yay! i take a lot of liberties with movies that reader has starred in, pls dont take irl movie release dates into consideration here lol. more notes at the end 

blog rules 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here 

prologue // next chapter 

-----

Chapter 1 

Flights to California always took an extra toll on the team. Reid had explained it once, in a too long ramble, how the wind worked against the plane lengthening the flight at least an hour longer than the trip back home. 

Hotch was finding it difficult to focus on the files in front of him. The first photo he opened was of victim #3, with her eyes closed and face turned to the side, even Hotch could’ve been fooled that it was you lying there dead. While the rest of the team was mulling over the facts of the case, he was debating whether or not to tell the team about your history. The Unit Chief in him knew this was important information that had the potential to hinder the case; his relationship to you was too personal and his withholding of information could even turn him into a suspect. If the roles had been reversed with another member of the team, he’d have concerns over their ability to even be on the case. For now, Hotch forced himself to tune into the conversation the rest of the team was having; promising himself he’d figure out what to do later. 

“Garcia, what do we know about L/N,” Emily asked, turning ever so slightly towards the screen Garcia had just popped up on. 

“I’m glad you asked my dear Emily. Y/N L/N is totally Hollywood’s It Girl right now, it’s rumored you can’t even get a meeting with her without forking over at least twenty big ones. She’s never had a bad role in her career. Personally, my favorite movie she starred in was Mamma Mia, but like I said never a bad role,” Garcia paused for a moment, the sound of her typing filling the silence, “is it inappropriate for me to ask one of you to get her signature for-”

“Garcia,” Rossi interjected, “anything else we need to know about her right now?” 

“Sorry sir, I promise to be on my best professional behavior. But come on, remember when she swept the Oscars three years-”

Hotch felt himself detach from the conversation yet again, staring out the window as memories of the two of you flooded his brain. 

Three Years Ago 

The team had just finished a grueling case in Georgia. It was long, taking nearly two weeks to catch the unsub, in which he had managed to murder three additional couples right under their noses. Inclement weather forced them to stay another night until the storm passed, leaving them all stranded by the airport. In a turnaround way, being stuck gave them the rare opportunity to relax and bond as a team. Rather than all disappear to their own rooms for the night, they all packed into one small hotel room. Boxes of Chinese takeout were littered around the room, along with various bottles of alcohol. The Oscars were on that night and Hotch knew you’d be on the screen at some point, not wanting to miss it he proposed watching it to the team and they all happily agreed. While it was difficult with their schedules to be avid movie goers, they all were relatively familiar with the contenders for big awards such as Best Picture and Best Actor. 

You were nominated for two separate awards that night, along with starring in a film nominated for Best Picture. It had been a monumental year for you, with three separate feature films hitting theaters and all becoming major successes both financially and socially. You had spent so much time jet setting for press conferences and movie tours that you rivaled Aaron in terms of suitcase living. 

“Everyone shut up! They’re about to do Best Supporting Actress, oh I just know it’s going to be Y/N. Emily agree with me! We saw her in Little Women together, I cried. Oh don’t give me that look Emily, you cried too and you know it!” Penelope said enthusiastically, waving her chopsticks around. It was rare that Garcia ever came with on a case, but the location had been in a remote part of the state and they wanted to avoid being unable to reach her and her technical wizardry; a fact she was particularly grateful for, had this watch party been happening without her, she would’ve been so jealous.  

To anyone else, the grin on Hotch’s face would have been easily equated to the bickering going on between his friends and the effects of the few drinks he had thrown back. It was all for you though, he had caught glimpses of you on screen throughout the night and had snuck more than one glance at his phone to see the pictures of your outfit you’d sent him yourself. When the presenters walked on stage, Hotch sat up a bit straighter, his body naturally inching closer to the edge of his seat. The screen set up so the faces of all nominees and their reactions could be seen, Hotch’s eyes glued to the box you were in. 

“And the winner of Best Supporting Actress goes to…,” the first presenter started, slowly opening the envelope they held, “Y/N L/N!” The crowd roared and the camera focused in on you sitting stunned in your seat, surrounded by coworkers and friends. The team was cheering too, the liquor in their system loosening everyone up. Hotch clapping uncharacteristically loud and long even went unnoticed by the others. 

“I was right, I knew it!! I should start betting on this, you know what I bet I could hack into the system-” Garcia’s voice barely even registered in Hotch’s brain as he watched you. With one hand clasped over your mouth and the other holding your dress you made your way up the stairs and to the center of the stage. 

“Wow,” you started, eyes wide as you stared down at the award in your hands, slowly you looked back up into the crowd and continued, “I really mean it when I say I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t even prepare a speech, I’m so sorry,” you paused again, the biggest smile plastered on your face as you quickly wiped a few tears threatening to fall, “thank you all so much, for supporting me and letting me do what I love. Thank you to my fellow coworkers who pushed me in this project and thank you so much to the fans who give me the strength to do this every day. Thank you! Thank you so much!” You ended, making your way back towards your seat. Hotch grinned as you flashed a wide smile to the camera following you, throwing a flirty winky that he knew was just for him.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. When you won again for Best Actress, you were barely able to contain yourself on stage, tears flowing freely down your face as you gave your thanks. The joy you felt in that moment was unlike anything you’d ever experienced in your life. At just 24, you had become the first person ever to win both awards in the same night. Hotch had actually jumped out of his seat at your second win, a motion that confused the rest of the team, but the liquor in everyone’s system forced them to ignore it; more glad than anything to see Hotch loosening up for once. 

After the team finally retreated into their own rooms for the night, Hotch wasted no time in texting you, asking if you were free to talk on the phone. His excitement palpable when not even a minute later your contact came up on the screen. 

“Aaron,” your excited voice came through the phone, just being able to hear you eased tension he wasn’t even aware he had been carrying, “can you believe it!” 

“Congratulations, Miss Double Oscar winner.” Even after a year of being together, his voice made you giddy. “Where are you?” He asked, unable to ignore the pounding sound of music and people in the background. 

“After party, top secret location Mr. Agent. I’m in the bathroom! Am I allowed to tell you I definitely see some residue of a line on the counter,” your voice was slurred and rushed, the energy of the moment combined with the liquor in your system causing your mouth to move faster than your brain, “probably not, ignore that. Where are you?” 

Aaron relayed various info about closing the case and what the team had gotten up to that night. When you began telling him about your night, he couldn’t help but feel insecure. Where he told you about $8 takeout meals and rural Georgia, you were talking about some of the biggest names in Hollywood and the luxury treatment you’d been subject to all night. He forced himself to focus on your voice anyway; not wanting to take this time ‘with’ you for granted. The two of you could’ve talked for hours, had it not been for Hotch pushing you to go enjoy the celebrations. 

“I’m so proud of you angel,” he said softly, voice swelling with adoration, “I’ll see you soon, I promise.” 

“I love you Aaron.” 

“I love you too Y/N.” 

When he finally hung up, he leaned against the wall with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. Relationship wise, it had been a tough year for the two of you. With your schedule busier than you’d ever expected, it meant seeing each other in person was nearly impossible. In good conscience you refused to take him away from Jack on the rare weekends he had off. Instead you’d fly in whenever possible, the two of you spending low profile nights together in fancy hotels or his house if Jack was away with friends. It was excruciating maintaining a relationship like this, but something about the success of the night made the sacrifices feel worth it. 

Present Day

“Look into her dating history, any exes that would want to hurt her?” JJ asked, her question pulling Hotch back into the present. Adjusting to the constant publicity you were subject to had been a learning curve for Hotch, the first time the tabloids ran a story of you photographed with some Hollywood Hunk his bad mood had the entire team walking on eggshells for a week. 

“According to my search she hasn’t dated anyone in years, or at least not publicly. I have a theory she’s secretly dating Henry Ca-.” Hotch zoned back out before Garcia could finish, having no interest in hearing or seeing whoever the media was speculating to be involved with you this time. Willing the plane to land faster, he ignored the faint voice in the back of his head that was telling him you were free to be with whoever you wanted. 

----

“If you’d follow me Miss L/N, the BAU has set up in the back conference room, they’ve been waiting for you.” Officer Reynolds said, her back to you as you followed her down the hallway. It was nearly 9am and you had spent the better half of the morning hyping yourself up to see Aaron for the first time in nearly two years. You made last second adjustments to your outfit; an outfit you definitely hadn’t spent all of last night picking out because you definitely did not want to look good for Aaron Hotchner. As Officer Reynolds moved to open the door you held your breath, thanking the years of experience in manipulating your outward expressions. When four heads turned in unison to look at you, you let out a sigh of relief. Aaron wasn’t in the room. 

“This is Y/N L/N. Miss L/N, meet the BAU,” Officer Reynolds said, extending her arm outwards towards the rest of the room, “I’ll leave you guys to do introductions, if you need anything, find me,” and with that she exited the room. A blonde woman stepped forward first, extending her hand out to you. You knew who she was before she even said her name. 

“My name is Jennifer Jareau, I’m the media liaison with the BAU.” She said, she gave you the same smile all the other officers had been giving you, but unlike theirs that reeked of pity, something in Jennifer’s felt authentic to you. After shaking hands with her, the rest of the room took a moment to introduce themselves. You never thought you’d meet Aaron’s team like this. Over the years, he had shown you countless photos of the team, along with hundreds of stories and tidbits concerning their lives. Even though you knew they had probably spent the entire flight to LA looking at your life, it still felt as if you had some creepy advantage over the situation. 

“The rest of our team, Agents Hotchner and Morgan, are currently doing some research in the field, but until they return we’d love to brief you and ask you a few questions, is that alright?” JJ asked, stepping backwards and motioning for you to take a seat at the round table. 

“Of course,” you quickly replied, moving to take a seat; internally you were laughing at the irony of her asking if it was alright, what would you do, say no? Looking up at the other three members still standing you motioned for them to sit as well, “I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose, but I’d prefer if you all sat down too,” you paused, before adding, “kinda makes me feel like I’m back at school.” They seemed to smile at that, everyone else moving to find a seat at the table. Before the silence could turn uncomfortable, JJ spoke up again. 

“Does anyone else in your life know about the murders?” 

You shook your head no before replying, “my agent knows just in case I have to go underground and my security guard is aware, but besides them and the police, I haven’t told anyone.” 

“Go underground?” 

“Uh yea, a few years ago I had a stalker. I went ‘underground’ for about three months and the guy seemed to give up. The police have already cleared him, he hasn’t been to LA in over a year,” you explained. 

“That’s good to know. We want to keep your involvement in the case completely out of the media. I can only imagine you want that too,” JJ started, angling her body towards you, “I know you’re probably more than well versed in dealing with the press, but if anyone comes up to you asking about the murders we want you to completely disengage. And of course, don’t tell anyone else about what’s going on.” 

“Alright, now that that’s settled, we just have a couple questions for you,” Emily asked as she stood up, opening up a file from the table, “so what can you tell us about-” 

----

The dump site wasn’t showing any promise. Situated near a highway, the field was hidden from the road, yet still accessible by car. The constant stir caused by the speeding cars meant any leftover DNA or footprints were effectively blown away. 

“Our guy’s gotta be fit. The drop into the field is just steep enough he would’ve had to carry the body at least fifty feet to get it here from the road. He could’ve rolled it, but the bodies were too pristine to have been dropped on the ground like that.” Derek said, looking over at Hotch. The two of them were standing at the edge of the road, looking down at the now empty field. “Not only that, but this is a nice spot. Normally places like this so close to a highway are filled with trash, do you think he might’ve cleaned up?” 

Hotch was silent as he considered this, before slowly nodding, “it’d make sense if he did. Everything we have concerning his treatment to the victims post mortem has been nothing but affectionate.” 

“Do you think there could be two unsubs?” Derek asked, when Hotch looked at him with mild confusion he continued, “All the victims were strangled to death, ME report assumes it was by hand. It takes a lot of strength and persistence to kill someone by hand like that, not only that but it’s intimate, he’s staring them in the face as he kills them. The level of care displayed here seems way more than just remorse.” 

Hotch took another moment to consider Derek’s proposition before shaking his head, “we’ll keep it in mind, but it’s clear whatever connection he has to L/N is personal, at least to him. These women could be failing to replicate some part of her personality and in his rage he kills them. But when they’re silent and unmoving, their likeness to L/N lets him fall back into the fantasy, hence the care.” 

“We should start heading back, Reid just texted me they’re almost done with the initial briefing with L/N, and we should meet her before she takes off for the day.” Derek said, putting his phone back in his pocket before turning on his heel to head back to the car. Hotch’s shoulders tensed at the idea of seeing you, looking back at the field once more. Giving the field one last look, he felt a shiver run up his spine at the idea of finding you in a field like this. Shaking the idea out of his, he turned to join Derek in the car. 

Hotch took the driver's seat, glad to be able to use the road as a needed distraction from the impending face to face. The drive was only twenty minutes, but Hotch didn’t think any time would truly be long enough to prepare himself to see you again. He found himself wondering if anything would be different from the last time he saw you. Did you still smell the same? You had always been quite adamant about your preference for scented lotion, rather than perfumes. What if you completely changed your hair? Were you worrying about seeing him as much as he was? 

“You think she’s gonna be easy to work with?” Derek asked, breaking Hotch out of his mental spiral. 

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, you know, “Hollywood’s It Girl”,” Derek explained, “if she’s as in demand as Garcia said she was-”

“While we work this case Morgan, I expect you to conduct yourself appropriately,” Hotch interjected, his voice tight, “we treat Y/N the way we would anyone else, do I make myself clear?” His eyes not leaving the road at all, knuckles tight around the steering wheel. 

“Crystal,” Derek responded, raising his hands up in mock surrender. 

As they turned into the parking lot, Hotch scanned the parking lot before finally noticing your car parked in the back of the lot. You used to always park as far as you could, constantly complaining about how people in parking lots stressed you out and you wanted to be able to drive in and out as easy as possible. The corners of his lips turned up, ever so slightly, thinking maybe nothing had really changed for you, at least in that regard. 

“You go ahead, I’m just going to send a message to Jack real quick,” Hotch lied, pulling his phone from his pocket. Derek nodded and got out of the car, quickly entering the building. Hotch put his phone down in his lap and gripped the steering wheel once more. You were one of the few people to ever wind him up this way; it had been like that from the first day he met you, as if you managed to make him melt under your gaze. Five minutes, he would give himself five minutes to pull himself together before letting the Unit Chief in him take over. 

----

“I’m sorry, I just, can I take a break,” you asked, looking up at the agents who were still grilling you about facets of your life you never would’ve considered relevant, “I just need to get some air.” Without really waiting for permission, you were pushing back on your chair to stand up. Slinging on your thin jacket you exited the room, heading for the entrance of the building. The agents had been kind, but you were starting to feel a bit useless. Each time they had a new theory, you came up short in terms of material for them to actually use. They kept reassuring you that what you were able to come up with was helpful, but you weren't convinced. 

You had been in and out of this office so many times, your body went into autopilot as you made your way to the entrance, not even pausing to look up as you started to push open the door. What you missed was the distinct outline of a body pulling the door open at the same time. The added force made you stumble, nearly crashing straight into the man on the other side. Brown eyes met yours and you both froze, uncertain of what to say before speaking at the same time. 

“Y/N.”

“Agent.”

-----

a/n - wow wow! things are gonna start moving in the next chapter, i promise. the response to ‘in the stars’ so far has been so heartwarming. ive said it before, but this is my first fic and i cant even fathom that people are actually interested in what im writing. your support means the world! im trying to get stuff written before university starts up again, but i dont want to nix quality for faster updates so if updates slow down im sorry! comments always appreciated. leave a reply or ask if youd like to be added to the taglist! if you requested before but arent added, just ask again i mustve missed it on accident 

Taglist: @mac99martin​ @iwaizumiee​ @kylorendrip​ @hqtchner​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @ssahoodrathotchner​ @midsummernightdream​ @weasleylovers​ @evans-dejong​

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

[hatake-no-sharingan]

A Well Loved Copy (PART 1: Magical Places) 

Kakashi x Reader

Story Summary: Your cozy life as a bookseller is disturbed when a box of the worst books you could ever imagine arrives at your store, and with them a certain silver haired ninja to whom you are definitely not attracted.  

Relationship: Kakashi x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: I wrote this first part a few days ago, but it still had a few things missing and I finally finished it today. I’m thinking it’s going to be at least 3 parts long (depending on how much my brain allows me to write) and that it’s going to be mostly fluff and romance, but I also want to add some angst. Hopefully you’ll all like it <3 Be kind and enjoy.

Magical Places

“God who even reads this crap” you tell yourself as you arrange the 20th copy of the latest Icha Icha Special Holiday Edition on the hot new arrivals shelf in the bookstore. “It’s unbelievable how they keep making new editions of the same trash and people actually buy them”

Last night, your boss had explicitly told you that he wanted the books in the most visible part of the store, because they were always a massive hit, unlike the beautiful short story books you had been forced to stash in a less noticeable shelf almost at the back of the store.

You spent hours admiring the graceful prose and the magical places they took you to, wishing your own writing was half as good. You knew most of those books by heart, and every time one of your favorite authors published one, you read it so many times until you could almost recite it word by word. That’s why your personal collection of books was small, but very well loved. Whenever you got the chance, you recommended them to customers, though almost none listened to you. However, those who did, always came back to thank you for it.

“It’s better to know one book intimately, than a thousand superficially” your mother told you when you were little, and to this day, the phrase stuck with you.

When your boss, the shop owner, told you to remove your favorite stories, the ones you knew intimately, from the best shelves to make space for what was basically porn disguised as a romantic thriller, it felt personal.

“I’m sorry, I know they’re good, but we need to give up the space for the best selling authors” your boss had told you yesterday night when he saw your frown as you removed them from sight. You ignored him for the rest of the time you were there while going through the new inventory together, and left the new arrivals unopened

“I’ll arrange them in the morning. If you don’t need anything else I’m leaving” you slipped your very worn book in your pocket, grabbed your keys and left.

That’s why people don’t read real literature, because it keeps getting hidden from sight and replaced with trash, you sigh.

Now you look towards the remaining boxes, the publisher sent way too many for your judgement, and decide to put them away in storage until more copies are needed, so you can still keep a few other not so crappy books on the star shelf.

When you’re returning from the storage room, you hear the door chime, signaling that a new customer is here. You check the time, barely 8:00am.

God, who’s here this early?

“IT’S HERE!” A silver haired man acting like a 6 year old in a candy store rushes in, and grabs 3, no, 4 copies of Icha Icha Special Holiday Edition without noticing he’s messing up your perfectly arranged shelf. “I literally waited a month for it! I need to read it now, it’s gonna be so good”

Is he talking to himself? Or to me?

The guy is bubbling with excitement, running his long fingers across the cover of the book on top. You don’t know why, but seeing the motion sends shivers down your very tired spine. You shrug, and start the computer to enter the day log into the system.

He walks to the counter, feeling giddy with the books and you get tense at the realization of who the guy you’ve been gaping at is.

The signature mask, the covered left eye and the nonchalant but confident walk give it all away.

He’s kinda hot in person, but his awful taste in books ruins it, you think.

“Would you like me to wrap those for you?” you manage to ask, pointing to the four copies he dropped on the counter. “Or would you rather do it yourself at home?” If I were his friend I’d kill him if he gave me that as a gift.

“Huh?”

“We offer a gift wrapping service.”

“Oh no, thank you, they’re not gifts. All four of them are mine”

“All four?” You ask, confused.

“Yeah, one’s my mission copy, another is my house copy, then the back up one, and the last goes on my shelves untouched”

“You must really like the series.” You say sarcastically, emphasizing on the word really.

“They are really good, contrary to popular belief. I know a lot of people judge them, but I swear if they actually read the series, they’d know it’s not just porn” he says with a chuckle, clearly aware you’re judging him.

“Ummm I don’t know” you say scratching the back of your head “I’d rather stick to real literature”

“Wait, you’ve never read them?”

“Nope”

“Not even one?”

“No no, wouldn’t want to waste my time”

“No wonder you’re staring at me like that” he says under his breath, and you pretend not to hear him. “What do you read, then? If you’re only into real literature”

You nod towards the last shelves in the room and then gesture to your own battered copy of The Cursed Beauties and Other Stories.

“They made me hide them away so I could make space for your special edition.”

“I’m sorry about that, maybe they can share a shelf next time.” Did he just smirk? Is he hitting on me? No, it must be me reading too much into things. “I’m Kakashi, anyway”

“I know, you’re kinda notorious amongst us booksellers, as the guy who buys too many copies of Icha Icha”

“Really?”

“No”

“Oh”

“You’re an important ninja okay?” He’s barely aware of it apparently “I have a few modern leaf history books here that mention you. And I think there might be a biography on you too, you’re definitely in the Yondaime’s. I had to read it for school, though I’m not very sure of how much truth is in it. Non ninja writers tend to exaggerate things huh? Not because I’m a ninja myself, becau-well, ummm I’m not, but I have read a lot, on ninjas I mean.” You get flustered when you catch yourself speaking a lot. He makes you nervous, alright? Even though he has bad taste in books and is a bit of an asshole, you can’t help but feel attracted overwhelmed by him.

You get an embarrassed smile from him too.

“I can’t imagine what in my life would be interesting enough to write about” he says, gently tapping his fingers to his temple “but I’ll tell you something, Icha Icha is interesting, way more fun to read than my life. I’d leave one of these copies here for you, but this isn’t the first book in the series, so you really wouldn’t understand it. But you should give the first one a shot, if you don’t like it, you’re allowed to hate me forever and judge my poor taste in books.” He heads for the door and makes his departure, but not before turning around and flashing you a big smile that you swore his whole face was glowing beneath all those coverings.

Something about him lingers with you for the rest of the day, as if he’d never really left the store.

The next morning when you come in, you notice there’s something inside the mailbox which catches your attention, only for the simple fact that you never get mailed anything small enough to fit in the mailbox. It’s always boxes upon boxes of books and gadgets related to literature.

You open it and take out a well worn copy that has definitely seen better days, of Icha Icha Paradise. There’s a small post it note stuck on the back cover scribbled with messy handwriting

Give it a shot, I promise you’ll like it. 

-K

P.S. Take care of it, it’s my favorite copy. Hopefully by entrusting you with it, you’ll decide to entrust me later with your own book ;)

Despite all your judgements and aversions to the series and the author, you make yourself a strong cup of coffee, sit back on your familiar spot, and open the book to the first page.

[unwishablestars]

amongst the waiting stars

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x f!reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

Tags: Mutual Pining, SFW, Drunk Confessions, i tried my best

TWs: Mentions of alcohol intake

Summary: When Levi’s visits get more and more frequent how long until he’d have to admit he didn’t come for the coffee

A/N: this is the first fic I actually finished/properly wrote and I actually dont hate it, hopefully y’all don’t too :)

Wiping off the spilled coffee, restocking the pastries and cakes, it was a calm day for you and your co-workers. You felt a cool autumn breeze enter the room as you hear the door open and were greeted with a rather short man with a bored expression.

"Hello! Welcome to xxx, how may I help you?"

Greeting back with a simple hello, he proceeds to scan the pastries inside the case before he walks up to the counter to order tea and brownies.

With that slight intimidating atmosphere you found around him you didn't expect him to have such a sweet and simple order, emphasis on sweet, he didn't seem the type to order something as sweet as a brownie. Though, that being said, he did order a tea that was rather bitter.

"Can I have your name?" Holding the cup with a pen in hand.

"Levi"

"Alright thank you, Levi. Would you like your brownie reheated?" Asking with a soft and friendly smile "Yes, please."

After asking him to sit down you start to prepare his tea and brownie, approaching him with a black tray in your hand and his food on top of it.

"Please enjoy, Levi!" Setting the tray down and flashing him a little smile before leaving him be.

And that was it, you thought this was as close as you strangers could get.

--------------------

A week to 4 days to 3, he started coming by regularly. Nothing special really, he wasn't the only regular, but you sure as hell didn't expect to be able to talk to him as if you've been friends for ages.

You've memorized the way he likes his tea, you know he has a sweet tooth that he wouldn't admit he has and you know that type of coffee he likes when he needs to get through a lecture.

Every 3 days became 2 then daily, he was back again. You didn't know why but it seemed to excite you to see a familiar face, his familiar face, what didn't make sense was why him? Why was he so special?

Was it the way he openly admired your focused and quick work attitude, the way he would pleasantly chat to you about his life outside this café or those sweet little banters you two have when he enters and leaves the store.

For a man that didn't smile much, he sure was a treasure to have around.

Often enough for you to notice though, he always seemed to sit alone. Asking about it, he's never really responded with anything other than a:

"I'm waiting for someone."

You've never seen this someone. A friend perhaps? A date? Whoever it may be, they seem pretty rude to never show up even once.

Leaning on your arms over the counter to ask him "Waiting again?" Levi started sitting closer and closer to the counter just to make your conversations easier.

A slight pause was present before his answer "Yeah." "Is it the same someone as last time?" Thinking for a moment, "No, it's a different friend."

"Not that is any of my business, but it seems pretty rude for your friends to just never show up like this. You could wait for an hour or so and still not be pissed, gotta say that's pretty admirable."

"It's not a big deal. I mean, I'm stuck here waiting with you aren't I? It's not so bad."

He's right, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if you waited with him too.

"How smooth, Prince Charming." Despite your snarky remark you can't deny, it was nice hear that you made his wait bearable for him.

To the untrained eye, someone could see him as a stoic and quiet man, maybe even intimidating. But with trust and patience, he was sweet and compassionate, it could make your heart melt.

Taking as sip from his tea, presumably ignoring your little banter, you could've sworn you saw the softest smile accompanied with a little blush.

I wouldn't mind waiting with you.

--------------------

Nearing the end of the year, a cool breeze can now be present everywhere. Malls, stores and homes turning on their heaters to help with the growing cold.

Leaving his building wearing a stylish grey coat, already on his way to his personal sanctuary, his thoughts were interrupted with a loud and high:

"LEEEEVIIII"

Turning around he was met with a very much energetic Hange Zoe, stopping in his tracks to see what they have to say. "On your way already? Excited to see your sweetheart?" They said, smirking with a deeper intent than to tease.

Levi's friends were more attentive than he had thought, it didn't take a while for them to realize that he'd been leaving the campus in a slight rush. It also didn't take them long to start guessing what else he could possibly have better to do other than sit in the library or go home immediately.

"She's not my sweetheart." He absolutely wishes though, liar. With Hange and his friends bombarding him with questions like "What's she like?" "Is she pretty?" "Are you going to make the 1st move?" It left butterflies in his stomach. The thought of a confession made his stomach twirl, even if it didn't show on his face.

He often thinks about when that perfect opportunity would arise or even if something like that exists, he'd love to win your heart over and have you in his arms. The thought of you spending your days together, official, made his heart swell, yours too. But how could he possibly ask you out? Who the hell was he to you?

"Right, of course she's not.." Hange responding quickly, stretching out the 'right' to emphasis her suspicion. "Then in that case, you should invite your 'friend' to our little gathering before we leave!" They said with a smug yet genuinely joyful expression on their face, nudging his arm to the suggestion.

"Why would I want to do that?" Levi said plainly. His friends had decided to eat out and drink together at a spot not too far from the campus.

This way they could somewhat spend their holidays together before they actually have to leave for the holidays to see their families. Including Levi, who had planned to spend it with his mother (and uncle).

"Aww c'mon, don't be like that! One of you have got to make a move sooner or later. Plus, wouldn't it be sweet for her to know that you'd been thinking about her?" They argue, thinking about it, he decides to comply.

Already walking off "Fine. Just don't follow me." "Aw but I wanna see her!" "Too bad." They follow him anyway "I'll just wait outside then! Then I'll leave once I know you've asked her!"

Clicking his tongue in agreement, they both head their way to the little café he was ever so familiar with.

-------------------

It was a busier day than usual. Though, it's to be expected due to the cold weather. It just makes people want to sit down and drink their coffee or hot cocoa, warming up their systems.

As you give the last customer in line their coffee, you hear the door open. Looking up to welcome them in, seeing who it was, a brighter smile was presented, almost as if it was an instinct.

Walking up to the counter Levi was understandably nervous, he even considered bailing on the idea now that he's here. But seeing your bright excited smile as he entered the door kept him in motion.

"Levi! Having a nice evening?" A tug at the corner of his lips made your heart pound, "Yeah." Cutting his answer short, his mind too busy to think on how he should pop the question.

"What is today?" "My usual coffee, take out, please." Nodding and grabbing a cup, you start making his usual. Looking back at Hange, they gesture him to stop stalling. You catch him looking out the door to see a tall individual with glasses.

"Is that the friend you've been waiting for all these days?" Your smile lightly calming down "O-oh no.. they're actually.." stopping himself in his tracks, air getting caught in his throat.

"I actually wanted to ask you something." "Oh? What is it?" Your attention shifting to him. "My friend.. And I wanted to ask you- if you'd like to join us for a gathering we're having. W-we'll be eating out together before we leave for the holidays." Not knowing where his eyes should look, he didn't look up until he finished his question.

Seeing your face, visibly shocked but not displeased, a bit flushed. Your eyes soften at that thought, he wanted you to come with? To spend time with you? You couldn't hold back your soft and sweet smile at his offer, what would be the point? Hiding your joy would be pointless.

Taking a look at your face, your initial reaction to the soft look you gave him. He was growing confident, maybe this wouldn't end up blowing up in his face and ruining his relationship with you.

Until your facial expression showed a bit of annoyance, a customer had fallen in line behind Levi with her kid. While the kid seemed rather patient, taking a look at the cakes in the display the mother look impatient and annoyed. "Uh- I'm sorry, Levi. Could you stand over there for a moment" gesturing to the end of the counter "I'll get your coffee ready in a minute."

With that, worry immediately washed over him. Did he say something wrong? Was he too straightforward? Did he mess up? He does as you ask and step aside, too occupied with his thoughts to realize that small flash of annoyance was in no way meant for him.

After dealing with the lady and her daughter, you walk over to Levi, his freshly made cup of coffee. "Sorry about that.. here, your coffee." Seeing his worried expression you give him a reassuring smile, your hand lingering on his as you hand him his coffee.

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Levi. That's very sweet of you." Your face showed a light flush. "It's a really busy day so- don't throw away the cardboard cup sleeve, I don't want to stop this here.." still a small bit stuck in his thoughts, he replies, "A-alright.. Thanks." Giving him another reassuring smile he heads his way to the door meeting up with the friend still outside.

"Looked like it went well!" Hange said joyfully as Levi left the café. "I don't know.. maybe it wasn't the best day to ask her, she seemed occupied." He doubtfully thought, "Huh? She seemed pleased! What are you talking about? Plus, she wrote something on your cup didn't she?" They noted in a curious tone, pointing at his cup.

Catching his attention, he takes a look at his cup and they were right, there was something written on the cup sleeve:

"I'd love to ♡ text me the details!"

was written in black marker followed by your number.

A visible yet faint blush was spread across Levi's face. He hadn't mess up, you don't hate him, you wanted to spend time with him. "Aha! See! Isn't this great?" Hange said enthusiastically, interrupting Levi's train of thought.

"..Yeah"

I'd love to♡

Yeah, this is great.

--------------------

Standing outside by the entrance of your building you stood there waiting for Levi. Having talked about it beforehand you both had decided he would just pick you up and walk with you to a small KBBQ place, just a few minutes away from the campus.

Levi wasn't the biggest fan of smelling smoke as he ate but compared to the rest of the 'cook-it-yourself' places around, this place had better ventilation, a cleaner surrounding and a decent price.

[6:03pm] Levi: Just stay by the entrance inside your building. I'm almost there.

Y/n: Alright! :)

[6:04pm] Levi: Be safe.

He's so sweet.

The weather was nice this evening. It was calm, and the wind wasn't unbearably cold, it was nice. Seeing a familiar figure across the street turning the corner, you face showed excitement as Levi lightly waved seeing you by the door.

Exiting your building you meet with Levi outside the doors, greeting him with a smile "Lead the way!" softly smiling back at you he starts to walk, making sure you're close to him. "It's not far, stay close.. okay?"

Matching his pace to stay close to him, you walk together in tranquility, engaging in peaceful conversations, asking about how they'll spend their break. It all felt natural, makes you wish that KBBQ place wasn't just 20 minutes away.

--------------------

Nearing the restaurant you see the silhouette of a tall, blonde man standing by the entrance. As both of you walk up to him, he greets you with a friendly smile and wave.

"Hello, you must be Y/n, right? I'm Erwin, It's nice to finally meet you." He greets to which to you reply "It's nice to meet you too!" he must be one of Levi's friends who would join us- stopping your thoughts you think back to what he said:

"..nice to finally meet you."

Finally? Has Levi been talking about you? You felt a light blush at the thought, thinking about me?  It was nice to think that he'd be thinking about you, after all, you'd been thinking of him too.

"Follow me, we already have a table." Walking inside gesturing for both of you to join, Erwin leads you to a reserved table. Seated at the table were 4 people, one of which you've seen outside the café, the day Levi invited you to eat out with his friends.

As you approach the table you were quickly greeted with hello's and nice to meet you's. Sitting down next to next to the familiar face, they introduced themselves.

"It's nice to see you again! I'm Hange!" "Oh yeah, you were standing outside the café that day, why didn't you come in?" you asked out of curiosity, "Oh I promised Levi I'd wait for him outside while he asked you out!" They gladly explained, lowering their volume to just about a whisper to continue "Y'know.. I was the one who suggested to invite you, Levi can be quite a shy one." They smirked which followed a chuckle.

Looking over at Levi to see some sort of confirmation. All you saw cute pink blush that ran across his face, him looking forward to either avoid eye contact or pretend like he didn't hear, either way, it was adorable.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you! I'm Nanaba, this is Miche and that's Moblit." Nanaba had introduced going down the line.

"It's nice to meet you all." you simply said, "though.. I can't help but notice, it doesn't seem like you guys extended the invitation to anyone else. Why extend it to me?" as much as you enjoyed sitting here with Levi and his friends you couldn't help but wonder why, couldn't help but want to know it straight, said to your face.

"Because we want to get to know you." Levi admittedly explains, though he feels he wants to get to know you more than anyone else here. His friends nodding in agreement, some smirking at both yours and Levi's oblivious interactions.

Clinking your glasses filled with alcohol the night went on filled with laughter and nonsense. You kept your alcohol intake low knowing you'd obviously still need to go home and you'd rather go home walking than slumping on some poor person's shoulder.

As minutes to hours pass by, sharing stories that brought out laughter which rang around the room. Soon enough it was nearing midnight and some of you were a bit tipsy, some more than others, though you kept yourself your little promise of not going home a blackout drunk.

You weren't drunk but you were tipsy enough to be not be embarrassed if you were to spill some truth about your feelings. After the bill was paid, stuff gathered, and as they walk their way to the door Hange proposes an idea to Levi.

"Y'knowww.. Y/n would really appreciate it if you walked her home.. can't let anything happen to her ya'know.." Clicking his tongue at the smell of alcohol in their breath "What? Did you think I was just gonna let her walk home alone? It's almost 11."

Miche budges in abruptly "Is that why you barely drank?" clearly to tease the man. Overhearing the conversation without really thinking you cling onto his arm "I'm not that tipsy.. but I'd love the company.." a light pink was present across your cheeks, you couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the blatant confession.

"Even if you were completely sober, I'd still walk you home." He'd love to.

--------------------

There were lots of stars out, nice view. The cool breeze, the bright moon, it was all so beautiful. "When are you gonna leave..?" Catching his attention, "Hm?" "to visit your mom?" you weren't exactly sure why you wanted to know, he did say he was coming back, maybe you just didn't want the night to end yet.

"Tomorrow. I'll be leaving in the morning, why?" he asked back, "Nothing.. just curious." Looking up you see the moon in that navy blue sky, it gave you an idea. Walking into your building you were still gripping his arm, not as tight as when you were out on the street but you didn't exactly plan on letting go just yet.

"Do you mind staying for a bit?" Embarrassed to ask but you did anyway. Taken aback "What? Why? Are you not feeling well?" he asks with a flustered and concerned tone. "No it's not.. you don't have to- I just.." you could feel the alcohol help you speak the truth "..wanna spend more time with you."

It felt like his brain stopped for a moment, did she just..?, but in reality it was racing with thoughts to the point where he didn't even notice. Scared of his silence you ditch the idea just as quick as you proposed it, practically interrupting yourself. "Sorry- sorry, I didn't mean to be- I didn't mean it like that-" apologies and explanations start to leave your mouth all at the same time.

"No, it's alright. I-I know what you meant.. I don't mind." holding back his stutters fairly well the blush spreading towards his ears were as evident as ever. "What? Really?" thank god he didn't take it the wrong way, "Tch," avoiding eye contact and walking toward the elevators "you want my company or not?" "Very much.."

On your way up to your room there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, even though the signs of success were there, you weren't exactly sure what you were so nervous about. Maybe you were sobering up quicker than you thought, it's not all bad though.. You didn't exactly want him to just deal with you drunk, you didn't want him to see you that way.

--------------------

Taking out your keys, opening the door and letting both of you in, you turn on the light and offer him a drink as you open your fridge "Sit down, do you want anything to drink?" "How the hell would I know what's in your fridge?" He says dryly

"Heh- that's fair, hot cocoa then?" Giving a simple nod at your offer you take out two mugs and start to warm up some milk. "Sorry it's just hot cocoa mix and milk." You apologize for no apparent reason other than to avoid the awkward silence.

"That's fine, how do you think I make my hot cocoa?" he asks sarcastically, "with fresh cocoa beans fresh from the tree" you retort jokingly, laughing a little. Surprisingly, he giggles along, making your heart flutter.

Looking at the clock as you pour the milk into the powder, 11:27pm, you interrupt the silence once again with an apology "Sorry.. I know you have you leave in the morning.." you remind yourself as you add a few marshmallows to your cups, walking up to him to give him his drink, "Why do you keep apologizing? I meant it when I said I wanted to be here." He reminds you as he takes the cup out of your hands, unable to hold back a smile the tension on your shoulders loosen, relaxing at his remark.

"If it doesn't bother you.." grabbing the blankets off the couch and opening the window "the nights beautiful.. and the view is better on the roof.." seeing the confusion on his face, you explain in a simple manner "don't worry, it'll be quick and the roof's actually pretty clean. Stargazing on the roof is actually pretty calming."

Trusting your rather odd offer you set your mugs on the counter next to the window to easily step out onto the fire escape. Once both of you had exited you grab both your mugs through the window and head up the steps leading to the roof

"Y'know I didn't expect having to climb out a window today." "Honestly I didn't expect to be stargazing with you, but it's not so bad is it?" "No, no it's not."

--------------------

Reaching the roof you set 1 of the blankets down to avoid sitting directly on the roof.

Sitting down you pat the spot next to you asking him to sit down, doing as you request, he settles beside you holding onto his hot cocoa for warmth "The second blanket is for us, no secret that it's gonna get chilly." You explained, casually wrapping it around both of you, what a bold move.

You smile at him, showing fulfillment and joy. The smiled you both see around each other always show honesty, such a simple gesture can convey so much. Now under the moonlight, snuggled together close, his heart couldn't handle how lovely it felt. You could've sworn you saw his eye water a little, that or the light of the moon glistened brighter than usual.

Looking up at the stars, admiring their light and formations, sipping on your warm drink, the air in your lungs start to lock up. Exhaling a breath you didn't know you were keeping in, the comfortable silence was broken with emotions put into words.

"Other than a ball of fire a huge distance away, do you think they can be anything else?"

"I don't know." he answered with simplicity and honesty.

"You ever wonder how long the stars have been here?"

"Not really, I don't look up at the sky that often. But I'm sure they've been here for a while."

Say it.

"I'd happily wait a billion years to see you."

Taken by surprise, he swings his head to take a look at you.

"..whether it be coming to the café, picking me up, coming home from a trip or seeing you in another life. I'll be here, waiting for you to come home. You wouldn't ever have to second guess it, because I'll be here, loving every second of it."

Looking up at him, to pour your heart out. "Because every second of it, I'll be loving you."

Letting out a shaky breath, holding you closer, softly yet firmly holding onto your hand, letting out the simple truth.

"That and so much more is the reason why I can say: I love you too."

[join-the-joywrite]

We play pretend

Based off an idea from @lydias--stiles list of alternate universes in which Julie and Luke meet

@jatp-week day 2: write an AU

Julie Molina loved her school. She loved her friends. She loved being in the music program and the drama club. She loved performing on stage, be it in a musical, a dance recital or simply singing her heart out with her best friend. Julie Molina loved a lot of things.

But boy, did she hate Luke Patterson. It started in their first year of drama club together. Luke was just so arrogant about how he knew he was going to get the lead role. Furious, Julie fought for the lead role. Both of them were so engrossed in being such a good performer that they were the one picked, neither of them stopped to think about the fact that they were auditioning for Romeo and Juliet -- a play with two lead roles.

They were cast opposite each other and it infuriated both of them to no end.

They were going at it for five years now and their hatred only grew stronger. Julie's best friend, Flynn, and Luke's best friend, Reggie, clicked as soon as they met and they had a bet going on whether or not Julie and Luke would graduate still hating each other or not. They added five dollars to the bet each year. Julie's other best friend, Carrie, and Luke's other best friend, Alex, were best friends and while both were in the music program, neither was in the drama club, and so they always made sure to get front row seats together so they could make fun of their friends and try to get them to break character on stage.

Julie had been furious to discover Flynn and Carrie's friendships with Luke's friends, and vice versa. It only made everything funnier to everyone but Julie and Luke.

Simply watching Julie and Luke interact was more entertainment than the actual school plays they starred in. They dominated Carrie's live posts and Flynn's fame had actually bounced off the fame Julie and Luke's rivalry had. As for Reggie and Alex, well, they were just thrilled to meet someone who fried Luke's brain the way he fried theirs.

Julie knew for a fact that she hated Luke Patterson. He was loud and arrogant and rowdy and abrupt and all sorts of things.

Luke Patterson knew without a doubt that he hated Julie Molina. She was bossy and childish and nasty and cheeky and all sorts of things.

And yet, they were always cast opposite each other. Ms Darbus said it was because they simply had a fire for the scene that no other acting duo could even hope to compare to. Ms Harison, who made the mistake of partnering them on a music assignment exactly once, vehemently agreed despite having never put them in the same group again.

Julie and Luke often fought for other parts. Julie tried to play Tree #3 once. Ms Darbus had only laughed and said even her tree audition was too good for a background and persuadedJulie to submit an audition for the lead role. Luke had once simply not signed up. It seemed like it was working until he forgot to hand in an assignment and was told he'd get it waived if, and only if, he auditioned for the play -- he knew it was a trap, but he needed the marks.

Needless to say, Julie and Luke were absolutely fed up with each other and the school musical. Both wanted out but neither were willing to give up drama -- especially not for the sake of the other.

So when their senior year rolled around and the sign up sheet was pinned to the board, they both put their names down and again, crossing their fingers and hoping for a complex part.

And complex, did they receive. But they were still cast opposite each other. (Flynn has a video of Julie threatening to burn, bury, rip up, throw from a moving car and even eat her script if it meant not performing with Luke).

Their final play together was a lovely tale called The Ghost of Isobel. Julie loved the story. She thought it was the most romantic story in the world. She had tried and tried and tried to fight for one of the secondary roles -- perhaps Ludovica, the lead role's best friend. Luke had knelt in front of Ms Darbus and nearly cried as he begged for anything but the lead role. But alas, Julie was set to play the enchanting reborn princess, Bella Morte, and Luke was casted as the charming ghostly prince, Romeo Leannán.

Julie was just glad she wouldn't have to pretend to enjoy being in Luke's arms for the three nights they would perform the play and for the several months they would spend rehearsing, seeing as his character was a very intangible ghost.

For the first two months, rehearsals were the absolute best.

Bella wasn't at all comfortable around Romeo and Romeo, despite being a huge flirt, didn't trust a single thing Bella said. It was perfect for Julie and Luke. They barely even acted. Julie enjoyed yelling at Luke and throwing strategically placed 'random' objects at him. Luke enjoyed every opportunity to mess with Julie, either by -- lightly -- pulling her hair or 'tripping' her up. They were lost in the euphoria of finally playing characters that simply did not want to be around one another.

But then Bella began to yearn for the feel of Romeo's arms and Julie had to emulate those feelings. It would have been easy, given thag she didn't have to say Luke's name. She could easily picture anyone else being the person she wanted but for some unholy reason, she couldn't get Luke's face out of her head. Bella lamented to Dove about wanting nothing more than to hold Romeo's hand, just once, but beneath it all, Julie was trying to wrap her head around his natural it felt to think about Luke and deliver her lines.

It wasn't as if Luke was doing any better than Julie. It was the first time in five years that their rehearsals did not call for them to be in any kind of contact -- in fact, it was the first time in five years that the script said to make sure the lack of contact was explicit. He'd been thrilled about it. He'd excitedly yelled about it to Reggie and Alex. For him too, rehearsals started off great. But then Romeo was falling in love with Bella again and Luke was incredibly disturbed by the ease with which he could think about Julie and deliver all Romeo's poetic lines to empty rooms and to the letters he wrote that Julie -- no, that Bella would never see.

Still, their shared scenes were much easier to rehearse when their characters wanted as much distance as possible. Well, they used to be much easier.

The distance was beginning to weigh on them both. For all their burning hatred and loud rivalry, they had found a strange sense of comfort in sharing the stage and the same spotlight. It was almost tradition. It was unnerving, to say the least, to be far enough from each other that there wasn't a single chance any contact at all would be made.

As the year crawled by, they nailed their scenes and moved further to the end of the play. Bella and Romeo shared an unspoken relationship. He followed her wherever she went. She was the only person in the world who could see and hear him but he would follow her even if she lost those abilities. He was too in love with her to leave.

By this point, Julie and Luke also shared an unspoken relationship. They sat too close when they read their lines to each other. They paused a moment when passing things to one another. They walked together to and from the hall, close enough that they would very likely trip over each other's feet. When they memorised the lines correctly, they cheered and shared a high five. The high fives became secret handshakes. The secret handshakes became lingering touches. They'd started sharing the same script. No one said anything of the closeness, least of all them.

For every moment Bella and Romeo forced them to stand on opposite ends of the stage, Julie and Luke would spend equal time offstage in close proximity.

Julie couldn't remember a time when she was on stage and unable to feel Luke in some way or another. Luke couldn't remember ever being on stage without holding on to Julie, be it her wrist, her hand, her waist or her face.

Even standing right in front of each other, the distance between them was far too much. Bella yearned to be able to touch Romeo just once, but Julie ached for Luke's arms around her. Romeo pined away the knowledge that he would never be able to hold Bella, but Luke's fingers itched to feel Julie's skin beneath his fingertips.

Being on stage had turned into their own personal hell and still, neither of then picked up on what their friends had known for ages. During an unofficial rehearsal between the two, Luke had mistakenly delivered a line with "Julie, my love" instead of Bella's name and the lack of a correction had stunned two stage hands nearby that they nearly fried the sound system.

And then they were rehearsing the final scenes. For the first time, they read the end of the script.

Bella hesitates at first, then doesn't think. She simply reaches out and trusts that she will fall into Romeo's arms.

Julie and Luke stare at the words for what feels like hours. It bounces around in their heads for a while. Bella hugs Romeo. Bella hugs Romeo. Bella hugs Romeo.

Julie doesn't have to think about it. Without waiting a single moment more after Luke delivers his lines, she flies from her stage marker and into Luke's waiting arms. Luke doesn't have to think about it either. He wraps both arms around Julie as tight as he can without hurting her. He hides his face in her shoulder and realizes he doesn't want to be anywhere else. Julie's fingers find Luke's hair and as she sighs in the most blissful feeling of contentment, it strikes her with incredible force just how much she wants to stay like this forever.

Ms Darbus almost forgets to yell cut.

The first night is easy. It's just a school play. The distance is okay because they know at the end of it all, they'll end up sharing the spotlight.

The second night is tedious. They've spent too long apart and the final scenes can't come early enough. If they both weren't so good at what they did, they would have broken character halfway through.

The third night is torture. In between scenes, they refuse to be apart, to the point where Julie had to be dragged into the small dressing room to switch costumes. Luke almost missed his cue once because he was sitting with Julie, using the excuse that he was going over his lines with her.

Bella and Romeo dramatically and poetically pined away for the arms of their lovers and truthfully, both Julie and Luke were only slightly concerned that they weren't acting at all.

"I don't care," Luke said, "let this be my last moments on earth and I shall never know peace. But should they be spent in your arms, then I shall know nothing but."

The script said Bella hesitated for a second but Julie couldn't. Luke nearly broke character when Julie crashed into him with enough force to make him stumble back a few steps.

To the audience, it was the sweetest display of affection and their portrayal of the characters stabbed knives into the hearts of anyone who already knew what was coming next.

As it had done the previous two nights, the spotlights flashed hard, white light on the stage.

Julie didn't want to let go of Luke. Perhaps she couldn't. But the show must go on and before the lights readjusted, Luke vanished off the stage.

The audience watched a lonely Bella on stage wrap her arms around herself, head bowed, before slowly sinking to the floor.

Luke watched from the wings as Julie made this her most painful performance yet, displaying Bella's grief at having lost Romeo in a way that tore at his heart. When the curtains shut on Julie still seated on the floor, Luke didn't hesitate for a second and he was there by her side within an instant.

The night had gone on too long and being able to hold Julie again gave him a rush he couldn't hope to describe. Julie mutely eased into his embrace. She always liked to become her characters. It made them more fun to play.

But oh, how she hated becoming Bella. Because Bella lost her love and Julie never wanted to lose Luke. No matter how arrogant and obnoxious and rowdy and cocky he was, he belonged to her and she wouldn't have it any other way. They were still sitting together in the dark when 'Dove' stepped through to the front and delivered the final lines to the play.

Something about how, when time had passed and Bella had lived a full life, she was eventually reunited with her Romeo, where they would spend eternity together as they were meant to in the time of Bella's first life, when Romeo had been a prince and he had accidentally married his best friend.

And when it was time for the curtain call, Ms Darbus was only mildly surprised to discover that Julie and Luke were still on the floor together. The audience was none the wiser, taking the sight as proof that Bella did eventually reunite with Romeo.

In truth, Julie was afraid that if she let go of Luke, he was going to vanish for good and she absolutely could not have that.

All through the after party, Julie and Luke would stick by each other, absolutely refusing to be separated by anything other than a trip to the bathroom.

Flynn was not happy about having to give Reggie twenty-five dollars, while Carrie was just happy Alex graciously carried extra film for her camera in his fanny pack -- she was on a roll with it.

When everything had calmed and they were mostly alone, Julie turned to Luke. "I've been thinking, UCLA isn't a bad idea."

Luke's eyebrows lifted slightly. "You said you were applying out of state because I was going there."

"I know. But maybe sticking around isn't going to be that bad."

"I see."

Julie Molina hated very few things in life, most of them small, annoying, trivial things. She hated the smell of gas. She hated missing classes. She hated it when her brother ate the leftovers she'd saved for herself. Julie Molina hated a few things.

But oh, how she loved Luke Patterson.

Mara's masterlist

[sushiburritonoms]

I've been having terrible writer's block lately, not enjoying anything I've written, not getting anywhere with WIPs. Poor @darkisrising and @bronze-lorica have had to talk me off edges lately (thanks guys you're the best!). I think I finally have a chapter 3 for Sacred Texts but I'm sitting on it for a while to see if that's the direction I really want to go. I'm soooo sorry for the delay.

In the meantime I was looking through my notes for The Father the Son and the Exile and I found a bunch of scenes I wrote and abandoned as the fic moved in different directions. I figured I'd post some of them because they'll never see the light of day otherwise and because I have nothing else to offer right now.

Originally in Exile, Din and Luke were supposed to make it to Tython. I had them meeting up with Han AND Leia on the planet Ajan Kloss (its the planet Luke and Leia train on in TROS). Its interesting looking back at this, Din and Luke have a different dynamic since I wrote this a long time ago back in March when the story was going in a different direction (I also wrote an homage to one of Writer Owl's fics in the dialogue). I enjoy playful Luke, I don't really write him that often and that's a real shame. Anyways here's wonder wall, enjoy!

Ajan Kloss  was a swampy humid hellhole of a planet that no rational, sentient being should visit, let alone enjoy. Of course that meant that Grogu and Luke were comfortable in the sticky humid environment. In fact there was a rare smile stretched across Luke's face and he sounded almost nostalgic as he talked around their campfire.

“There’s a certain type of moss that grows on the trees here that’s edible.”

Din refused to look up at Luke from where he was cleaning their meal.  “I’m not drinking any tea you make out of it.”

“It’s more of a garnish?”

Din sighed. “Don’t touch my fish.” He forcefully stuck a stick lengthwise through the fish as an emphasis.

“Grogu should really have more vegetation in his diet. Master Yoda used to eat plants.”

Din snorted. “You’re welcome to try.” It wasn’t like the kid never ate vegetables but they were always fried and covered in spices. That probably wasn’t what Luke was getting at.

“Maybe later. He did eat two whole frogs.”  Luke edged himself closer to the fire. “Maybe after this we could swing by Dagobah. You know, assuming we’re not about to trigger some sort of sneak attack or trap. There are tubers I could dig up for him that Master Yoda ate, plus I could pick up more gnarltree bark.”

Din blinked and raised his head up to properly look at Luke. He knew what Luke was doing. He was trying to distract himself with thoughts of the future. It was a tactic Din often used himself--strategize every possible outcome in the hopes the future won’t be as terrifying as it feels.

On the one hand, he was amused and touched by Luke’s continued fixation on Grogu’s eating habits, even if it was hypocritical of Luke given his own poor diet.  It reminded Din of some of the older members of the Covert that used to watch Din when he was little. They always used to harass him to eat everything offered to him and gave him sharp nudges when he tried to skip directly to the occasional sweet treat left out for all the foundlings to share. It was very Mandalorian of Skywalker and it felt good. Familiar.

On the other hand, Din really, really didn’t want any more tree bark in the Wayfinder. So Din didn’t really know what to say.

“Hold this.” Din shoved a fish skewer into Luke’s hand. Yeah that worked.

Luke took the skewer with a hint of a smile.  “Master Yoda used to eat certain mushrooms too, I think I can safely identify them. Or maybe I could put together an aquarium in the Wayfinder and we could take more frogs with us. I bet I can repurpose one of the smaller cloning cylinders I have in the back and add a filtration system...”

Din shuddered at the thought  of living with a cloning vat filled with frogs and the likelihood of frogs, moss and tree bark for dinner several nights a week.  Just no. “This is why our people are ancient enemies,” he shuddered. “You live like animals.”

There was silence. Too long of a silence. Din looked up.

Luke was staring at him with a shocked look on his face. “Our people are ancient enemies?” He whispered.

Ah kriff. Din winced. “So I’ve heard.”

“....Oh.”  Luke looked crushed.  “Nobody told--well. There’s a lot nobody told me,” he sighed. “About being a Jedi.”

Damn damn damn. Din wanted to throw his hands up in the sky.

“I guess that makes sense,” Luke mumbled. He was fiddling with the fish skewer in his hands. “All the other Mandalorians I’ve ever met have tried to capture or kill me. I thought it was just the Bounty…”

“I’m not like other Mandalorians.”  Din interrupted, desperate to turn the conversation. It was technically true, probably just not in a way that helped their relationship. Er--their partnership?  Their--whatever this was.

“I mean I like you…”

Din froze. What.

“You’re really good at fishing and Grogu loves you.  I’d hate to have to kill you.”

Din’s heart restarted in his chest again.  Was Luke...messing with him?   “You wouldn’t leave a mark.”

Luke blinked up at him innocently and fluttered his damn eyelashes.  “I could totally kill you in your sleep.”

The little shit!  “I’ll poison your tea.”

“It’s pretty much already poison. I’m immune.”

Heh, true.  “Your fish then.”

“I’ll just go grab a frog.”

“You’re staying here and eating my damn fish!”

Luke burst out into sudden loud laughter.  It was like a sudden fierce rainstorm in the way it showered over the camp. It startled Grogu, who had been ignoring both of them in favor of playing with some shiny rocks nearby.  He tilted his head and then matched Luke’s laughter with a baby chuckle of his own.

“Sorry! I think it's just my nerves talking but that just sounded wrong and so funny--”

Din just shook his head. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what had set Luke off but he didn’t care. “Crazy Jedi.”

“Trigger happy Mandalorian.”  Luke gave him a giant smile.  “Hurry up and finish this.” He gave Din back the fish skewer and chuckled again.  Despite his comment about his nerves, Luke’s shoulders were relaxed and his legs were spread out comfortably by the fire. Din could stare at his lopsided smile all evening, especially as the sun set and the fire highlighted the delight in his eyes. The sun shone through the lighter parts of Luke’s shaggy long hair. It was now untied from the neat bun it had started in and looked soft and golden in the light.

Stars above help him.  Luke was beautiful.  Din was tired of denying the thought. He wanted to touch Luke’s face with his bare hands, run his fingers through his hair and that was terrifying. He hadn’t wanted to take off his armor for anyone, besides Grogu, in ages. Maybe with Omera...but this was much different. The feelings he’d had for her were a momentary weakness compared to the colossally bad idea this was to develop an attraction for this damaged Jedi.  Din had no idea what tomorrow was going to bring.  Even if nothing happened, there was the uncertainty of the next day and the next to worry about. Luke was a marked man and every day there was a chance something could take him out. Take him away. The thought burned in him like a chemical fire inside a reactor.  Caged deep inside of him, destructive it released, and burning with an intensity greater than Din could stand.

This was why he never got involved with people before he found Grogu. He didn’t know what to do with the intensity of his feelings and how to fit them into his unpredictable life.

“Din?” Luke’s smile fell slightly. “You ok?”

“..Yeah.”  Din did what he always did. He pushed his feelings away and tried to focus on the present.  What had they been talking about? Food. He sat and thought for a moment. Maybe...

“I have a contact on Tatooine, from a rural town few people have heard of. Mos Epsa.”

“Mos Eps--I thought that was wiped from the planet years ago.” Luke looked impressed.

“It’s still there.”  Din handed Luke a cooked fish skewer and settled back with his own. “We could go there, for a while. We’d be safe. I’m assuming we can both eat Tatooine food.”

Luke picked at his fish. “I do miss blue milk.”

Good.  “I’ll add it to the list.”

Luke chuckled. “You have a list?”

“Of safe planets we can stop at. We should have alternatives to the drop pods and not be reliant on the New Republic. My list is probably different from yours so we have more options.” Din stabbed his fish a little harder with his skewer to make his opinion of Luke’s employers known.

The smile on Luke’s face got impossibly wider. “That makes sense...Thank you.”

Din grunted. The smile on Luke’s face was too distracting.  Instead he looked down at his food. Oh. Right. Damn.

Luke made the exact realization at the same time. “Sorry! I forgot, I can go back to the ship--”

“Shut up and sit down, Jetti.” Din shook his head. He only hesitated for a half second before he reached up to his helmet and unlatched it. He opened it wide enough to take a bite.

“Or you could do that. Of course.” Luke babbled.  He turned his head so he wasn’t looking at Din.  Which was sweet. But also meant he wasn’t looking at his food.

“Eat.” Din growled. “All of it.” How was it this hard to feed a grown adult? Grogu gave him less trouble. Gods help Skywalker, Din was about to channel some of the fiercest warriors he knew to get him to eat more.

Luke gave him a mock solute. “Yes sir.”

Din began to reach for his sidearm.

Luke responded with a rather unnecessarily dainty bite of fish.

Din began to unhook his blaster.

Luke nibbled at one edge of a fin.

The blaster powered up.

Luke kriffing licked his fish.

“That’s disgusting.” Din gave up. He couldn’t help it--he chuckled as he powered down his blaster.

“Yeah it is,” Luke stuck his tongue out. “Fish is gross.”

“I thought you said you’d eat anything.”

“I do. I don’t have to like it.  I didn’t grow up eating fish, it’s both slimy and spikey at the same time.”

“You eat frogs.”

“You can eat a small frog in one bite! I’ve gotten fish bones stuck in my throat.”

“You’re not supposed to eat the bones.”

“Nobody told me that the first time. What part of ‘raised on a desert planet’ does no one understand?”

“You’re an idiot.”

Luke sat back. “I’m done now, mom. May I go now?”

Din sighed. “No.” He held out another fish skewer.

“You got to be kidding me.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“How hard is the har--YIKES! NO! LETGO! ARGHHH!!!!!”

‘Yup’, Din thought to himself as he held the struggling, still too skinny, Jedi in a headlock.  He had it bad and he was going to regret this.

Tomorrow. He’ll regret it tomorrow.

“DJARIN LET ME GO NOW OR YOU’RE GOING IN THE SWAMP!”

Here’s hoping the desert boy could swim.

[heyitslanesl]

Hi I've come to feed the tandrone nation I've got one more in the works before I retire to write angstober again <33

-

The Tenth Harbinger had long been considered virtually void; a shell of a man living to serve the Tsaritsa. He was an immovable force. "Lord Harbinger, you have a letter." "Who." "The Eleventh Harbinger, sir." Sandrone turned around, and the trembling recruit dropped the pale blue envelope into his outstretched palm. "Dismissed." "Yes sir." Sandrone waited until the recruit had left his office before he slit the letter, pouring the contents out. A waterfall of flowers fluttered out, along with a folded note with Childe's handwriting on it. Sandrone picked up the letter first. Sandrone, Hi! Recently, I got the chance to go to Mondstadt, and I remembered you said something about wanting to see the plants at Mondstadt. So I brought you some! There's dandelions, cecilias, a few windwheel asters and an orange flower (it reminded me of you <3) Unfortunately I couldn't figure out how to give you valberries, so I took a picture instead :( But on a brighter note, I managed to get my hands on a bottle of dandelion wine from Master Diluc :D Had to pay the "Fatui price" for it but I still feel it's worth it~ See you soon! Childe :DD Sandrone put the letter aside and sifted through the pile of dried flowers. They were all carefully pressed and in pristine condition. Dandelions, windwheel asters, cecilias, all smelling like the wind and the sun. A photo of wrinkled valberries was there as well, along with a scribbled note behind telling Sandrone of Childe's disastrous attempts to dry the berries. He picked up the orange flower. It was the head of an orange daisy, carefully cut off the stem and preserved so it still looked as fresh as if it was just picked from the stalk. "Honestly, Childe..." But when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force, it would shift, even if it was a paltry millimeter.

Tandrone nation is fed bless you. I love the immovable object vs unstoppable force dynamic, its so good. Here's a gift back from my masterlist. Buckle up (,:

Sulien Ambros, a man of very little feeling, a man of very little anything, really. He had no substance, he wasn’t solid, he slipped through his days like water between one's fingers. Due to this he equated himself more to the automatons that Dottore studied than to the flesh coil he was actually tied to. He could not begin to understand the small things he occasionally felt, the tugs inside of this robotic system of a human body.

He read the books, he studied the material, he analyzed the relationships of real people around him. And yet Sulien could not begin to understand them. There was once a time that perhaps he could. But not now. Not anymore. He could slip on masks like clothing, happy, sad, angry, fear. They were all so easy to wear, but inside, he didn’t understand them. He knew how to react, knew what cues to pick up on and which mask to put on as a reaction.

But internally, he was nothing more than a machine. Or perhaps he was like those ceramic puppets? Sulien wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything. His own mind a fragmented maze closing in on itself, opened in odd areas that made no sense, and closed off in directions that may be the exit. He traveled between spaces like a ghost within his own body, he knew he was there, tied to this mortal plane. But he didn’t quite feel there.

When had he ever felt ‘there’? Desiderium. A grief for something lost. But Sulien was unsure what he lost. So the marionette did what he did best and he put on a new mask and cracked the other one, throwing it away. But nobody can really destroy themselves in that sense, can they? He merely pretends that he can. He is good at pretending. There is no loss here when he is loss itself. A machine, a ghost, a walking mirage, a puppet. Was nothing grounding enough for him? Was nothing enough for him to remember that he is ‘there’?

“Morning, comrade!”

Sulien blinked, realising he was staring at a book. He set the mug he had apparently been holding back onto the small kitchen table. It was cold now. How long had he been sitting there? “I’ll be going to see Lumine today, so I’ll probably be back late.” Ajax sounded particularly chipper today. Lumine.. Lumine.. Right! The outlander from another world. What was this feeling in his chest? “Teyvat to Sulien?” Right. He should reply. Analyse the situation, filter what is appropriate, narrow the results, speak.

“Alright, be careful. I’ll be working at Northland for most of today should you need me.” Satisfactory. Ajax hummed as he got to work on his coffee making. When did Ajax ever need him? Perhaps his response was not satisfactory. He would need to reprogram, perhaps a stop to Wanwen Bookhouse would do him some good. He needed new material anyways.. Oh, Ajax was speaking. He hadn’t been listening. Sulien set his book down to tune into whatever it was the ginger was talking about. Lumine. It was about Lumine.

Sulien stood slowly, casually closing the cover of his book, losing his place. He’d just find it later. He picked up the cold cup of coffee, he stopped listening again. The man dumped the remaining coffee into the drain, setting the mug into the wash bin. Ajax had stopped speaking again, was he watching? What was this feeling in his gut? “I’ll see you at a later time.” Sulien removed himself from the kitchen.

Sulien would soon forget the encounter in the kitchen, too much work to do, too many people to watch over and direct. The stifling feel in his torso would go away soon, perhaps a cog was stuck. Perhaps he needed more oil or rest or whatever it is normal people did. At least it went away when he arrived at Northland Bank and focused on his work. A diligent little machine, indeed. And throughout the hours of the day, the feeling seemed to go away.

“Could I get all three volumes of Customs of Liyue, please? Oh, and volume three of Heart’s Desire.” Sulien pulled his mora pouch out as Jifang got the requested books. He paid her the money, and extra, for always having the books he needed. She placed the books in the paper bag and slid it across to him with a smile. “Thank you, miss.” Sulien took the bag and bowed his head, face masked anyways.

Sulien headed for the stairs, briskly walking down them. The sun was setting now, bathing the harbour in a beautiful golden glow. If the masked man understood the concept of pretty, perhaps he could liken it to that. But he was unsure what pretty meant outside of the things he read described as such. Maybe a gaze at the ponds would clear his foggy mind. He turned towards the large archway that separated the path around the ponds and him.

He heard a familiar laugh and he furrowed his brow beneath his mask. Plenty of people were familiar, how many lives was he intertwined with in Liyue now anyways? He continued to the pond, moving to the small bridge at the left that was currently unoccupied. Sulien leaned against the banister, looking into the water and observing the fish. Fish were so much easier to understand than people, he decided.

“Oh, Sandrone!” A voice called and Sulien sighed softly, lifting his head, what now? A small floating erm, elf? Fairy? Something was waving at him. Beside her was the blonde girl from the other world and.. Ajax. His heart squeezed in his chest and he inhaled sharply at the sudden pain. Hide it, pretend it isn’t there, Sandrone does not feel pain, he feels nothing, he chanted words he had heard long ago like a mantra in his head. Why in the world did his chest hurt?

“Comrade! Fancy seeing you here. We were headed to Liuli Pavilion for dinner. Do you want to come?” Why did Ajax’s words make him so annoyed? Sulien was so hopelessly confused, he was frustrated, annoyed, and the more emotions that swirled within him the angrier he got because he didn’t understand them. His cheeks were wet and he was thankful his mask covered his face. Analyse the situation, filter what is appropriate, narrow the results, speak.

“No, thank you. I’ve already eaten.” Still emotionless, void, good. He couldn’t let how he felt sink into his words. Ajax narrowed his eyes, he knew Sulien better than that. Sulien didn’t eat during the day because it made him sick. But he didn’t press the topic. Another stabbing feeling in his heart and he instinctively brought a gloved hand to his chest, delusion glinting in the fading sun. “Apologies. I seem to be ill. Excuse me.” Sulien stepped around them, hurrying beyond the archway and leaving them standing there. Lumine seemed concerned as she turned to watch him leave the area.

Sulien unlocked the apartment door with shaky hands, pushing the door open and stumbling into the apartment. He gasped for air as the pain in his chest grew, why did it hurt so much? What was this feeling? He set his bag down on the entrance table and quickly removed his mask, setting it down too. He reached up, wiping his wet cheeks on his sleeve. Another stab and he leaned against the wall, hand on his chest. He had never felt pain like this.

“Sulien, are you alright?” The door opened and closed quickly, Ajax’s voice filtering through the apartment. Ajax immediately closed the distance when he saw the man against the wall, tears on his cheeks and hand splayed against his chest. It had been a very long time since Ajax had seen the man show any sort of reaction to pain, let alone mere sickness. “Lumine and I are worried-”

Why did it happen every time Lumine got brought up? Sulien was utterly confused, he slid down the wall, sitting on the ground. He was lost in his own head again, trying to navigate the maze, trying, desperately, to analyse the situation. Ajax, presumably, knelt in front of him, but Sulien couldn’t focus on him, he couldn’t focus on anything but trying to read a cue he was not practised in. “Where does it hurt? Should we go see Baizhu?”

“I suspect I have been cursed.” Yes! A curse. He was a harbinger after all, a curse makes sense. Otherwise, scientifically, logically, he’d be able to explain this feeling. Ajax furrowed his brows, he was confused. “I feel..” Sulien started, another stab and he gripped at the front of his coat, internally cursing this pain, this pain that somehow managed to get through all of his defenses. Everything he’s put up, all of the walls, he rarely felt pain. But this? This brought him to his knees.

“I’ll be fine..”

But was he fine? Sulien asked himself the next week as the pain came back, even worse than before. He gripped the railing of the staircase, dropping his bag of books on the ground. His research. He needed to research, the pain was unbearable, it needed to go now. “Are you alright Mr.Sandrone?” Jifang questioned, leaving her station to help him straighten out. He was her best customer after all.

There it was, that familiar laugh again. Sandrone lifted his head, Ajax and Lumine were walking past, the blonde entirely too close to the ginger who didn’t seem to mind. Sulien grimaced, fingers digging into the red railing so hard it began to splinter under his grip. “Do you-” he gasped for air. “Have any books on curses?” He turned his head to look at Jifang, the soulless eyes of his mask boring into hers.

“Curses? Let me check.” She slowly released his arm once she knew he wouldn’t keel over. Then she headed back up to her bookstore. Sulien tilted his head, eyeing the two in the crowd once more. Lumine grabbed Ajax’s hand to drag him somewhere and Sulien scowled under his mask. A hand on his shoulder and he pulled away violently, a dagger made of ice appearing in his hand.

“I’ve heard from Childe that you’re injured, do you need assistance going home?” Zhongli. Why was Zhongli here? “Ah, thank you.” Zhongli took the book from Jifang who nodded her head and headed up the stairs without asking for mora. “Curses and Afflictions of the Human Mind? I didn’t take you as one to read this.” Zhongli bent down, picking up the dropped bag of books and slipping this one in with them.

“I have been cursed, I need to find a cure.” Sulien spoke through gritted teeth, he looked back to the crowds. No ginger hair to be found. Sulien pulled his hand back when the broken wood of the banister breached his glove and pricked his skin. “I do not need assistance, either.” The man turned, taking the bag of books from Zhongli who hummed.

But despite saying no, Zhongli was determined. The God followed in step with Sulien once he finally began to move again. They walked in silence for a while, Zhongli examining him out of the corner of his eye. Sulien did not understand, he could not understand, why the God who pretended to not be a God was staring. “You do not have the mark of a curse.” Zhongli broke the silence. Sulien’s step stuttered but didn’t stop as he kept moving.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Tell me, how long has the pain been happening?”

Sulien furrowed his brow beneath his mask, his days always blurring together, they were so hard to separate, so hard to differentiate. Analyse the situation, filter what is appropriate, narrow the results, speak. “A month now I believe. It’s been getting progressively worse. I feel as if I am being stabbed. This heaviness in my chest… I wanted to give this ache a name, and if not a curse, then what?” Sulien rambled quietly, his pain sank into his words and he tightened his grip, free hand balling into a fist.

He needed to be careful now, he couldn’t let it show that he still felt pain and so he took a deep breath, kept his head held high and he did not falter. “Sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing.” Zhongli’s words confused him. Longing? What is longing? Sulien did not know what that meant. Zhongli laughed, it was quiet and slightly breathless as the realisation dawned on him. Sulien Ambros did not know what it meant to long.

“If I may.. You spend so much time considering what it must be like to be someone else that you forgot to consider what it must be like to be someone at all. Have you forgotten what it means to long for somebody? To love them? It is a very human thing to love, you know.” Zhongli spoke and Sulien listened, the harbinger trying to sort his feelings, his pitiful fragmented feelings. They got to the apartment where Sulien and Ajax stayed.

Sulien stilled when he heard voices inside, hand hesitating on the key in his pocket. He heard a giggle and that damn familiar laugh. Sulien was masked sure, but he stared at the door. His heart hurt, it hurt so much. He felt like somebody was reaching into his chest and trying to rip his heart from beneath his ribcage and it hurt like the fire of Teyvat. Sulien took a shaky step back from the door of his apartment, his home. But it wasn’t his home was it? No, ghosts don’t have homes.

“The thing about masks is someone always sees the string behind your head.” Zhongli didn’t miss this, he saw right through the harbinger. Perhaps the great Sandrone, Marionette of the Tsaritsa, had a weakness. And perhaps it was a ginger Snezhnayan with the prettiest blue eyes. The call of a name, a short name, a name that only Sulien was supposed to know.

Sulien’s hand went to his chest as the air was torn from his lungs, it was suffocating, like drowning in a dark ocean. He was supposed to be a machine made of flesh, a ceramic doll with the strings attached. Why did he hurt like he was human? Why did it hurt like he was human? It hurt so much. What is longing? What is love? He read about love, at least. But nothing he read described the things he felt. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt, was it? No this wasn’t love, it couldn’t be love. It hurt too much.

Hot tears slipped down his cheeks and he cursed himself for crying when he was frustrated. This was a weakness he could not afford to have. This weakness could get him killed. Zhongli put a hand on his shoulder, warm and comforting. But he was too far under the ocean waves. “Any love I find will be treason.” Sandrone, Marionette, the 10th Harbinger, Sulien Ambros. Whatever name, he did not feel love. “I will sooner rip out my own heart and eat it than deal with whatever you may describe as longing.” Sulien lifted his head, unlocking and pushing his front door open. He left Zhongli outside, and with him, he left his heart.

Desiderium. A grief for something lost. But Sulien could not know what he lost.