#their relationship irl is such an x file to me

[mulderiloveyou]

someone on reddit said david had gillian’s lipstick smeared all over his lips and now I can’t unsee it lmaooo

[notquitecanon]

Virtual Breadcrumbs || Poly!141 x hacker!reader

Summary: A kinda prologue to Search History, While you're having your menty b back on base, a little bit from the boys' perspective. Specifically Simon. Alexa, play Mastermind by Taylor Swift.  

All a continuation of this idea

CW: NSFW MDNI 18+ female pronouns , porn, porn, lots of porn allusion, the boys are all handsy with each other, Simon's lowkey manipulating the situation, again irl this is harassment, stalking warning to be safe? mentions of oral and vaginal sex, really just me being nasty from Simon's point of view

It took a long time to gain access to Simon’s inner circle. Simon Riley had a habit of being intense, all or nothing, especially for those he’s decided to care about. His captain and his sergeants were in that inner circle, and he cared deeply, implicitly, about them. Health, safety, happiness, and something Simon was especially attuned to was keeping them sated. A man of action and acts of service. 

Simon was neither a poet nor a psychologist, so he didn’t spend much time or energy putting definitive terms and conditions on whatever relationship the 141 shared. He cared and he was cared for, it was intimate on all levels, and that’s all that mattered to him. 

A bond forged in bombs, bloodshed, and loyalty above all else.  Four soldiers at the top of their game, literally battle-hardened (double entendre completely intended). He was content with his little circle. 

However, he couldn’t fault the boys for missing something a little softer. Something a little sweeter, something a little more pliant. Hell, Simon wouldn’t mind burying his nose in a neck that didn’t smell like sweat, blood, and gunpowder.  

That’s where you came in. Simon’s sharp eyes didn’t miss anything. 

He saw how Price’s signature little smile rested on you whenever your explanations turned a little rambling, the look of pride in his eyes when you cracked a hard encryption- he’d called in a favor from Laswell to recruit you after all. How the Captain didn’t scold you when your work outfits were outside the civilian regulations (which was often), not that Price minded the view when you’d drop something and bend over to pick it up in your pretty skirts and heels. 

He saw how Gaz would lean over your shoulder, just a hair too close to be friendly, and watch in a little bit of awe as you worked, how the two of you spoke in code (literally) to each other. He would watch Gaz get a little hot in the face with your flirty little quips over comms, voice a little tight as he returned them. How the sergeant would bring you little pastries or coffees on days they were on base, how prided he seemed when your face lit up, and when you’d unexpectedly touch him- grab his hand or bicep with your pretty painted nails? Simon would notice how Kyle would excuse himself to go do something else, sometimes dragging Soap off with him.

And Johnny. He tried not to show it, the Scot was as loyal as they came. A dog, Simon called him often, a mutt when he was being obnoxious. Simon’d noticed Johnny literally sniffing around you, his head following the lingering scent of perfume and shampoo when you passed. He was touchy with you, passing it off as being friendly, hugging you just a bit too tight to feel the squish of your body against his- a kind of softness Simon, Price, and Gaz just couldn’t replicate. It was a sport for him, to get you to blush or stutter. 

And, fucking hell, the banter. Your voice, slightly crackly through their headsets, leading and chiding them through missions. Something about the distance or facelessness of it made you bold and teasing. Soap would egg you on over comms, sending you both down teasing explicit rabbit holes, until Price would remind both of you that the brass had access to these audio files, and you’d get shy and go quiet, but not for long.  Gaz was fairly smooth with it, not often getting out of hand until you clicked off and he’d adjust his pants and collar mid-op. Something about Price’s authority kept you a bit tamer on him, but sometimes you would slip, and the way you got all shy and apologetic, Price’s chest would puff up a bit, beard twitching with a smirk as he’d ’scold’ you. 

Simon’s men wanted you, bad. But none of them were going to be the first to admit it, none of them wanting to be the first to want more. Their loyalty to each other was their greatest value, but it was holding them back this time. But Simon had a plan, all he had to do was plant the seed. 

__

The 141 had holed up in a grungy safehouse to rest and recoup before moving on to the next portion of this assignment. ‘House’ was a bit generous- there was no central heating and it was little more than a kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom, the living room was basically just the foyer with a pull-out couch that took up the entire floorspace when pulled out.  The mission hadn’t gone to shit, but it was proving tedious, and stretching into a longer commitment than they’d planned for. Price was miffed about the time commitment, but it wasn’t anything new, it happened all the time. 

Waiting for transpo from Nik and information that you were working on. Even Simon felt the sting of disappointment when you’d told them you’d need them to quit calling, that the data Price requested from you was proving to be a challenge that needed undivided attention. They were bored. Price and Gaz had slipped off somewhere so the Captain could work out some of his irritation, which in turn got Soap huffy and touchy. 

Which was why the Scot was sitting, spine curled into Simon’s side, laid across the sofa still in full gear, long legs over the side while Simon simply sat up straight ( "s’too fuckin’ cold f’ this shite", he’d muttered after they’d found the wood for the old fashioned wood stove was both wet and molding, "Body heat it is, fucks sake." ), military-issue tablet using the secure network you and Gaz had set up. Too tired to do much of anything, too mission-wired to truly relax, restless and a little homesick.

Simon wasn’t surprised that it only took two rounds of solitaire before the Scot switched to the browser and started to look through the homepage of a porn website he didn’t recognize. They both knew this strategy, get yourself off a few times and your brain releases enough ‘good’ chemicals that you might be able to get some sleep. Johnny did seem uncharacteristically indecisive, getting quickly squirmy and irritated, as he continuously clicked ’next page’ waiting for something to catch his eyes.

A sniper always sees a good shot when it lines itself up, time to plant the seed. 

"Give it ‘ere." Simon gruffed, plucking the tablet out of Johnny’s hands, only smirking at the coarse language Johnny offered in return, though he didn’t attempt to get the tablet back. Waiting curiously and not so patiently for whatever Simon was going to produce, what a good dog.  The lieutenant took a couple minutes to find the right seed to plant, using key phrases that produced the results he was looking for. 

He let Soap peruse his yieldings. The actresses had some things in common, familiar hair and eye colors, familiar because they shared them with you. And the actors doing such filthy things to them? Well, that was the seed (double entendre not intended) Simon was planting, the bone he was throwing to Johnny, all the actors were Scottish.  The sniper knew his shot landed when Soap muttered under his breath, taking the tablet back, hips shifting a bit subconsciously as he scrolled, watching the thumbnails give little snippet previews, "Steamin’ Jesus, Lt…" 

"Seen you sniffin’ around our analyst. Pretty bird." Simon shrugged but his eyes were just as fixed on all the thumbnails, girls that looked vaguely like you in all sorts of positions getting rammed on Johnny’s- sorry, the actor’s cock. He saw the look of (Catholic) guilt on the sergeant’s face, swirling with lust and a pretty flush under his stubble, so Simon swooped in with another seed, motioning to a thumbnail where an actress with the same hair as you was moaning, "Bet our bird'd look better, bet she’d sound better." 

The guilt was gone, the seed planted and flourishing in the Scot’s brain, Johnny’s lips growing into a wicked grin as he settled on a video, not bothering with headphones or squirreling away in the bathroom.  One video turned to three, the two men taking turns chiding and teasing the other, and when his sergeant finally burst, it was your name he called out. 

Yes, his plan was going to work beautifully. 

___

For a quick two-minute search with the sole purpose of quickly getting Soap off, Simon hadn’t been displeased with his results. Neither had Johnny if the spring in his step and uptick in screen time was any indication. The actresses shared features with you, but he was positive there was a closer match out there. And since he couldn’t exactly ask you, their lass in the chair as Soap called you, he turned to their other tech guru and the next part of his plan. Kyle. 

He was a bit more straight-laced than either Simon or Johnny, he’d be harder to convince. Simon didn’t know if he had it in him to debate the morality of purposely seeking out a porn star that was as close as physically possible to you… Or how that might affect the relationship amongst the 141… Ghost wasn’t known for being the moral backbone of the task force, and this wasn’t an issue that could exactly be bullied to be won.  

So, when first met with some resistance even if Garrick’s face was flushed and he was shifting in his seat, ("Simon, that’s… I don’t know what but it’s not right. What if she finds out-") he delegated some orders to Johnny. 

Simon didn’t know what the Sergeants got up to- that’s a lie, he had a pretty good idea, and he expected a repeat performance later- but when they came back, Kyle’s eyes were still a little glazed and his shoes were on the wrong feet. 

"Well?" Simon raised an eyebrow looking up from the rifle he was meticulously cleaning. Johnny was smirking smugly, belt still undone, nudging the other sergeant to remind him to answer their lieutenant. Gaz was nodding wordlessly for a moment, running a hand over his hair, slumping back in front of his military-issue computer, and opening a private browser. 

"Yeah… Yeah, mate, I’m on it." Kyle was practically still panting from whatever Johnny had done to/for him. Simon smirked, going back to his rifle, until after a moment when Kyle’s voice was more level, he added his requirement, "If I find her-" 

He paused, cheeks heating a bit as he reworded himself a bit, "A look-a-like, I mean, I get to taste her first." 

Simon could work with that. 2 down, 1 to go. 

____

Lastly, John Price. Saved him for last for a reason, but he was also the easiest. Simon waited until the assignment was on the up and up again. Summit fever to push through and go home had its claws in all of them. He knew it was a good time because, after the last firefight and subsequent march through the woods to a safe zone, all the boys were too tired to fool with each other... much. Price was sitting against a tree, that ridiculous hat of his resting on his propped-up knee, face illuminated by his cigar and the light of his phone.

Wordlessly, Simon crouched beside the captain and held his hand out expectantly for the phone. Price blew his smoke with a quirked brow but was curious to what the sniper had in mind, placing the device in the waiting gloved hand. 

"What’re you up to, Simon?"  Price inquired suspiciously, lowering his eyes to the light of the screen as it was handed back to him. His blue eyes, older looking than the captain really was, widened for a second before darkening in the low light of the forest, "So this is what the Sergeants’ve been on about, uncanny…" 

Price watched the very short prelude, a woman who looked so much like you, wearing something a little racier than you’d wear to the office but as blood rushed elsewhere, Price found the realism didn’t matter much when if he squinted… it was you stripping off a cardigan and letting some sort of authority figure pop the buttons of your blouse before shoving you under a desk with your pretty painted lips wrapping around his- sorry, the actor’s throbbing cock… 

Seeing the way John’s expression shifted, Simon smirked under his mask, raising back to his full height and returning to where he’d stashed his gear. His plan was almost complete, they were in the final stretch.

___

Simon was watching over Johnny’s shoulder, his hips occasionally rutting through his clothes into the scot’s back, a video that the sniper had chosen. Soap thought it was really funny that it happened to be from your doppelganger's Halloween playlist, but now was just as entranced watching the tall domineering figure clad in all black and mask absolutely ruin you her. The bed was a perk of finally making it to an actual base, with officer’s barracks, waiting for the official expo back to you home.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Simon groaned, biting Johnny’s shoulder through his mask and the sergeant’s t-shirt, as gloved hands twisted into hair just like yours. It was hard not to insert himself into the fantasy. A knock on the door made him growl, pulling him away from the delicious video and friction that Soap’s weight against him was providing. With more force than really necessary, Simon whipped the door open, only relaxing a little bit when Price was standing there with Gaz, both of them with their strategizing faces on. So, he wasn’t the only one making plans lately.

“See the new video that got posted?” Gaz questioned, looking down to unlock his tablet undoubtedly sharing it over to Johnny’s laptop still playing on Ghost’s bed. Both Lieutenant and Sergeant shook their head no. Johnny clicked on the share notification, releasing a breath that puffed his cheeks and raised his eyebrows as he read the title alone, the video still loading in the base’s less than ideal wifi (the 141’s latest habit undoubtedly eating up most of the bandwidth). 

It was your doppelganger’s stage name accompanied by the words Barrack’s Bunny Gets Gang Banged! 

“Fuckin’ Hell.” Simon repeated, words almost snarling his jeans chafing him as his cock twitched in his still buttoned jeans. 

“We’re having a dinner at mine.” John decided cooly, seemingly unrelated, leaning in the doorframe. His demeanor was its usual casual confidence, but his eyes were dark with the kind of want that spelled disaster for anything that stood between him and his goal. The seeds Simon had planted were growing like invasive weeds, wild and quick, “She’s invited.” 

“How’re we playin’ this?” Simon questioned relinquishing the reins to his captain, he was just as much of a soldier as the rest of them, he took orders well, watching as Gaz joined Johnny at the foot of the bed, both Sergeants watching the video together, hands already starting to wander, gear being unbuckled and unsnapped. Price smirked at the sight, adjusting himself through his camo cargos. 

“Cooly. Don’t wanna spook th’ sweet thing.” He smiled, mostly to himself making himself comfortable on the tiny futon that had been cramped in Simon’s room as an ‘officer’s luxury’. The captain dwarfed it, and patted the limited space beside him for his lieutenant to join him, “We’ll have ‘er eating out of our hands. And then we’ll have her.”

Price said this with the same easy decisiveness as he’d have busting a terrorist cell, but the curl of his lip, how his legs spread to accommodate the growing erection in pants noted the difference for Simon, his captain nodding towards the Sergeant’s watching the video, their breaths already getting heavy. Kyle’s hands fisting the bed's blankets like he might slip away and Johnny’s hips were already rocking a bit. Price’s smirk grew, eyes flicking to Simon before looking back forward, “You’ve been busy, Simon. Never miss anything, do you?” 

It was a mix of praise and teasing that, from his Captain, made Simon’s affirmative grunt a bit lower, something twisting in his gut, like a pet that wanted to be stroked more. Price chuckled deeply, nodding, “Bet that thick head’a yours hasn’t considered why you noticed alluv our infatuations with our little analyst, ‘ave you?” 

Simon didn’t respond, watching how Johnny’s eyes lit up much in the same way they did when he was presented a puzzle (bomb) that caught his interest, how he moved Kyle’s hands aside and rewinded the video, once, twice, three times at something your lookalike did that scratched his brain just right. Mutt, Simon thought, waiting for Price to continue, knowing that the captain couldn’t resist teasing him just a bit. He’d expected as much, maybe a vulgar comment or two. He was not expecting a truth bomb that turned him both introspective and horny. 

“Only reason you noticed how much we liked ‘er, cause you’re always watching her. You watch her just as much as y'watch any of us, wonder what that might mean?” Price shrugged, one hand working at his belt buckle before motioning for Gaz to turn the volume. The Captain actually laughed at the look in Simon’s eyes that most would miss before nodding back to the video and the Sergeants, “Now, watch the show."

Fucking hell. 

__

Maybe it was that little bite of introspection or the flight home where they fleshed out every last detail of their plan to get you, the real you. (“Gaz and Johnny’ll do the leg work, play up the charm, and Ghost and I’ll work the opposite angle, strong and silent.”). Maybe it was how eagerly excited Soap was or how Ghost spent his extra time scrolling through your Instagram. Maybe it was the two brief interactions with you upon returning to base- how pretty your eyes were looking up at him through your lashes, how good you smelled, the movement of your skirt as Johnny spun you around, how you got jittery under his slightest touch in the briefing room… 

By the time he found himself on Price’s couch, he was impatient. Knee bouncing, checking his watch, making Gaz track your location. When you’d been sitting out in your car for more than fifteen minutes, he all but growled, snapping at Soap, “Go get ‘er.” 

And when Soap guided you inside, pulling one of those bright smiles out of you with his own jokes, and Gaz was helping you out of your coat like unwrapping a present, your cheeks already flushed all pretty from the Sergeants’ tag team flirting routine… He didn’t think he could wait for Price to put the steaks on the grill, he needed something to sink his teeth into, sooner rather than later. He was sure if he bit the curve of your neck, it’d be a lot like biting into a ripe peach… supple and sweet. Just like you. 

Oh, his plan had worked, the seeds were planted and growing and overtaking every other thought in his mind other than making sure him and his boys were sated at dinner tonight, and you were on the menu. 

____

To quote Sir Mix-A-Lot, "Little Does she know I'm a nasty DAWG."

Y’all are getting this because my writing app deleted what I had done on Search History pt 2. Reminder- the reader is loosely based on Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds. The physical description is pretty vague, but lots of skirts and heels and makeup are mentioned, and I might have gotten carried away and implied

Once again: thanks to any and all tags and comments, i collect them and they will be buried in my pyramid when I die. seriously, they inspire me to keep going and I screen shot them to show to my friends :))))

Also so sorry if you got tagged twice im bad at taglists!!

Tags: @fruitymoonbeams-blog @viviennevianna @savas-q1 @cringeycookies @lainey-laines @buttercup337 @acosmisted @carqueensworld @tmartin0918 @dreamland08 @sheepdogchick @hidden-wildflowers @lilynotdilly @astrxsee @joopyjup @originalsoulcollector @henhouse-horrors @ohdrey89 @red5tars @cod-z @balletbiscuit @spacecrawllerr @scrumptioussportstoadgarden-blog @blues-of-neptune @monster-effer @yunho-leeknow @ungodlydilf @pluviofleur @jandthecrow @fangtoothgod @coquetterie-dancer @sapphires-and-silver-things @ghost-is-my-bbg @loveergirll @silly-starfish @popkle @honestlymassivetrash @not-mentally-sane @devoetee @beloveds-embrace @jellyamour @simon141price @divinecat @blckchrryy @coqwuette @abigail209 @spacecrawllerr @toomuchfluffs @blackhawkfanatic @eyeless-kun @eternallyelvish @8venusflytrap8 @yukisdelusional @nijiru @happythingtiger @lveegsoi @lilpothoscuttings @hazza3000 @aphinthestars @thisisew @firesgod @mishaglass @pievex @voguiing @supernova2205 @whisperwispxx @rejectedbytheempty @Bryan-writes @crypticlxrsh @mklovesbagels @midnightgrimoire @madzzz0797 @foxface013 @dreamland08 @ironzinc @misscaller06 @sevvygirl1995 @jenniferpendragon @silentscream2022 @ungodlydilf @sillylittlereader @gazsluckyhat @thychuvaluswife @emo-kitty-love @iloveoutlinesiswear @thriving-n-jiving @viviennevianna @corvid007 @an-ever-angry-bi @merpancake @echo9821 @yunho-leeknow @astrxsee @aira1995 @lostintransit @uraeus56 @sirbonesly @monster-effer @fangtoothgod @ohdrey89 @katheriner1999 @a-sentimental-lapse-in-time @wonderlandfandomkingdom @almostdecadentstarfish @openup-yourmind @thirdtimesthecharm @supernova2205 @starlightmoon2020 @ayyisasra @certainlygay @smuttydegenerate

[moxanji-real]

💖Introduction 💖

To my non sharing Sanji doubles..

*non shares harder* >;)💞

No, but seriously block me. Please and thank you 😭

StrawPage is a wip!

Banner art below is made by grubcakes

💖Hello I’m Moxie. You can also refer to me as Fork. (I use the name as my self insert cause I kin her) I’m an 18 year old bisexual lady thingy. I have a slight personality disorder so if you see me texting in a tone that is different or acting in a way that is different, it’s NORMAL. I just can’t really decide on my personality somedays XD.

💖This entire blog is a self ship blog. I kin my one piece self insert and will often “pretend” to be her and talk like I am her. I ship Moxie with Sanji from One Piece and consider myself a yumejoshi, selfshipper, oc x canoner and fictosexual. I’m in LOVE with Sanji and consider him my soulmate to put it simply. And yes, I am caught up on One Piece in case you’re asking.

💖My blog is 100% SFW! I don’t do NSFW! I’m too shy to post that stuff. Also I won’t be reblogging nsfw too! Minors of all ages you’re free to interact! Just don’t make any… sexual comments/jokes please and thank you. That’s my only rule! I prefer wholesome shit on my blog! 😤💞

💖Asks are open. I have a lot of lore of Sanji and my One Piece self insert. Keep in mind my One Piece self insert isn’t me irl but I do kin her. That's why I’m called Moxie.

💖 I’ll only follow back if you have a solid introduction posted. I need to see your f/o list first! I’d prefer to only have self shippers follow me but if you like my content hell idc what you are. I’m just grateful.🤣

💖Sanji is my only f/o and I’m madly in love with him. I’ve shipped with him since I was 8 with my self insert and as years passed I still did. (Obviously I had done a lot of work on my self insert over the years but shhhh) I loved him for more than half my life and I still love him too. I’ve loved him before One Piece became super popular in other countries so I consider myself a true One Piece fan and Sanji lover. Without Sanji I don’t think I’d still be alive, he saved my life, my little hero. :’D💞

💖 I’m autistic as absolute fuck and I LOVEEEEEEE giving people my love and support. I NEED to make others happy- y'all don’t realize! 😤💞

💖If you have a One Piece f/o or if you are just a casual self shipper or do oc x canon please interact with me! Seriously, it would make me so happy!!! I’d love to be your friend! And don’t worry about me not responding, I’ll fucking respond and I’ll respond amazingly too 😩💞. I’m an extrovert! I know… spooky… we don’t see these a lot online lmao.

💖My current hyper fixations are One Piece, The Golden Girls, the Sims 4, Bleach, LPS, Sanders Sides and the X files

💖 I’m an artist, (not a really good one) and I do art trades and draw my self ship. Yes you can ask for a art trade and no I’m not picky on skill.

💖DNI: If you’re a Proshipper who supports incest or pedofillia or beastility. NSFW BLOGS or NSFT ALTS (if you are a sfw account but post nsfw content sometimes that’s fine! I just need tags!) If you’re a Minor who self ships with Sanji or simps for Sanji and posts nsfw content about him etc (Minors themselves can interact but not ones who lust after Sanji.) If you write sanji x reader fanfiction. If you constantly reblog Sanji x oc/self insert content or Sanji x Zoro, Sanji x Pudding and Sanji x Ace.

💖Policy on Doubles: Doubles? Yeah you can interact. Might not support your relationship but you can interact! If you’re comfortable with it give me a Sanji tag to block from your account if he’s not your main f/o. I am NON SHARING with Sanji. Oc x Canon with Sanji? Don’t wanna see it and will block on the spot if I come in contact with Oc x canon art of Sanji if I don’t know you. But if you want to support me you can because I do appreciate the support! (And hell, I’ll be willing to support your other ships. Just not the sanji one.) I just think I need Sanji more than anyone here. Literally he is the only thing keeping me going 😭

💖 Sanji and Moxies self ship tag name is Moxanji

[training4theapocalypse]

PLEASE do what Scots actually say I’m so curious

Soap x Reader Scottish Dialogue Inspo

To celebrate Burns Night, here are some realistic smutty Scottish terms and some general stuff to do with relationships. Feel free to use this if you find it helpful 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Disclaimer: my tiny country is made up of countless accents and Soap is canonically from Kilmarnock but his voice actor is from Elgin so who TF knows what he’d actually say.

I also don’t think you need to write in Scots either - I’m Scottish and I don’t (unless am absolutely ragin aboot somethin’) but I can see why you’d want to for Soap’s dialogue. 

Behave yersel’

This is easy - it’s just ‘behave yourself’ but it can be used as a smutty admonishment.

“I’ll sleep on the couch - you take the bed.”

“Behave yersel’,” says Soap, unfastening his belt.

Bonny / Bonnie

Spell it whichever way you like. This is primarily an adjective but I see it used as a noun in fic. All. The. Time. It was used a long time ago as a noun - and maybe it still is further north - but where I / Soap are from it's really only used as an adjective these days.

“What do you think of the new recruit, Captain?”

“Aye, she’s bonny, awryt.”

But use this sparingly - and only to describe a person as a whole and not individual body parts. (e.g. you wouldn’t say “Your tits are so bonny.”) 

Darlin’ / Doll

The two most common pet names I hear from men here. It is ROUGH as anything and makes me melt. Ughhhh. 🥵

“D’ye like whit ye see, doll?”

Fuckin’ hell

An exclamation that’s pretty ubiquitous across the UK. Soap would 100% say this after sex or if he was surprised by something that made him horny. From clips of Soap I’ve seen I know he says “Steamin’ hell” too but I’ve never heard this IRL.

You sit in Soap’s office, perched on his desk wearing your new lingerie.

He opens the door and freezes, jaw on the floor.

“… Fuckin’ hell.”

Gads 

This is a very specific Kilmarnock / Ayrshire thing (which is where Soap’s file says he’s from). And it comes from a very old-timey phrase ‘egads!’ which is hilarious to me.

Gads can be used as an exclamation for something shocking (OR something cringe depending on the context).

“You honestly think that I snuck into your room because my bed was uncomfortable? I want you to fuck me, Soap.”

He swallows. “... Gads.” 

Gantin’ for it

AKA Gagging for it. Juvenile way to describe being horny. Soap would probably say this about himself in a jokey way. 

“You alright, Soap?”

“Aye, aye. I’ve just been gantin’ for it ever since that new lassie joined.”

Lassie / Lass

Girl. Younger. (Pop off age difference fics)

Missus

Literally “Mrs” but surprisingly not just used to refer to your wife. Really commonly used to refer to a girlfriend.

“Look, whatever the missus wants she gets. Awryt?”

Wee (insert expletive)

Literally call me whatever you want as long as you put ‘wee’ in front of it. Wee bitch, wee slag, wee slut (omggggggg). 

Soap tuts, as you writhe against his thigh. “Yer an impatient wee thing, aren’t ye?”

Anyway, that's all I've got for now- if I think of any more, I'll add to this. You don't need to credit me if you actually use this - I like to think of it as service to my country 🫡

P.S. This made me realise I've only ever had sex with Scottish people so maybe some of this is just normal sex stuff and not Scotland specific???? HAHAHAHA

P.P.S. I was getting really into the dialogue so I've written a short fic about Reader x Soap.

[mulloey]

treatment plan • seonghwa

seonghwa’s not your average therapist. neither are his methods.

warnings: dom!seonghwa, sub!reader, psychologist au, doctor x patient, unethical psychologist park seonghwa, like i can’t stress how fired he’d be if this happened irl, pretty iffy abuse of power but verbal consent (though irl that doesn’t make it ok ofc), fingering, talks of reward and punishment, part 2 may come eventually. don’t like, don’t read. i’m not responsible for your triggers and hate will be blocked.

word count: 3.1k

—————

When your old therapist had told you she would be moving to another hospital, it seemed like the end of the world, especially given that one of your main reasons for being there was your fear of abandonment. But laying eyes on her replacement for the first time has part of you wishing she’d abandoned you even sooner.

There’s no denying, the man is gorgeous — tall with dark eyes and perfect, flawless skin that you ache to feel on yours — and he seems to know it, too, by the way he sits in his chair like a throne, legs spread comfortably, back slouched. But as attractive as he is, he’s your therapist, and a good one at that; though you as the client would have less at stake than him when it comes to unprofessional relationships, your first session reveals to you that he’s actually very good, maybe even better than the woman you had before, and you get the sense he could actually help you. He’s attentive and calm and right from the start seems genuinely interested in your well-being. You feel at ease with him, and though focused and professional, he seems at ease with you too. Maybe that’s how he is with all his patients, but it hurts no one to do a bit of wishful thinking about the way he looked at you when you introduced yourself for the first time.

Even now, as he rattles on about your issues and problems and all the other reasons you’re here, he has you hanging on his every word. Maybe it’s his voice, deep but with a lightness that makes him sound perpetually amused, or the way he holds eye contact with you when he speaks. But whatever it is, you know you’re going to work very well together indeed.

“With Dr. Campbell, you mainly focused on your fear of abandonment, childhood trauma and…” he pauses, staring blankly at the thick file and you stifle a laugh because you know exactly what he’s looking at. “Well, she called it Daddy issues,” he says. “Can I assume that was your… phraseology?”

“You can,” you grin and you think you almost catch him smiling too. “I like to use simpler terms for things. Make it less clinical.”

He frowns slightly, staring up at you through his glasses before scribbling something down in his notebook. “You don’t like things clinical?”

“I don’t,” you say. “I just can’t open up properly if I feel like a patient, like I’m sick. That’s why I chose this place.” You gesture vaguely at your surroundings — wall-to-wall bookcases, dark oak tables and leather armchairs set against dark green walls. “And it’s why Dr. Campbell had me call her Mabel. If she felt more like a friend I could speak freely with her.”

He nods, writes something else then turns his gaze back to her. “In that case, maybe you should call me Seonghwa,” he says.

“Seonghwa,” you repeat. “Dr. S Park,” you say, referring to the bronze sign hammered into the door of his office.

He laughs a little and it makes you laugh, too. He looks nice when he laughs. “You can forget about that now. Just call me by my name, and I’ll call you by yours if you like.”

“Yes please,” you nod. “I hate being called Miss.”

“Yes, it’s quite sobering, isn’t it?” He says, laughing again. “Too formal. Makes you feel like a real adult.”

You shrug. “Kind of.”

“Well, not to worry, we’ll use first names in here.” He pauses, turning his head and your eyes follow his to the clock, which delivers the news that your time with him is up about as delicately as a blow to the head. You wonder how the hour you’d paid for had possibly gone by so quickly; you allow yourself to think he looks a bit disappointed, too.

“Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you,” he says, standing up and stretching out his hand to shake. “I believe I’ve got you booked in at the same time next week, if you’re interested in continuing this.”

“I am,” you confirm.

He smiles. “Good. Get in touch if you need anything until then and try to think about what you’d like to talk about next time.”

You whisper a thank you and he nods, smiling. “I think we’re going to make a very good team,” he says.

Oh Seonghwa, you think. We most certainly will.

——————

Surprisingly, the next week goes by in a flash; you’d expected it to drag out as you sat in waiting for the next time you’d see Seonghwa, but work has, perhaps mercifully, kept you too busy to even think about him until the day arrives. When it does, in your excitement you even endeavour to put on some light makeup and your ‘good’ pair of jeans. Trying to keep it professional, you have to whisper ‘he’s your therapist’ to yourself a few times on the drive over there, but while you’ve no intention of jeopardising your professional arrangement, you still hope he sees and notices the effort you’ve made. Maybe even likes it.

As soon as he calls your name he seems to notice your getup, pausing in his greeting to look you up and down. His eyes meet yours; questioning, curious. “Big night?” He asks, amused.

You laugh, shaking your head. “I just felt like it. I wanted to look nice.”

“Well, you do,” he smiles. You blush. “To my office, then.”

You follow him down the by-now familiar hall, watching as he unlocks the door and gestures for you to go in first. You take a seat in your respective chairs and he wastes little time on small talk before diving into your issues. The first fifteen-odd minutes pass by uneventfully before you slowly, subtly feel the conversation shift. Seonghwa almost clams up listening to your descriptions of your coping mechanisms (sex, mostly), face focused and pupils dilated as you relay all the gory details of how you like to be treated. When you’re done and blushing furiously, he stares at you for a second for leaning back.

“Well,” he says. “I have a few thoughts on that.”

“What are they?”

He shifts in his seat but doesn’t look uncomfortable. “You do these things because lack self-discipline,” he says. “Your ‘daddy issues’—” he pauses, clearing his throat and you see the ends of his ears are pinkish “— and the coping mechanisms you employ for them, have made it hard for you to keep yourself in line, so you rely on outside sources to do it for you. But you have none.”

You stare silently at him, mouth slightly agape. It’s his job, of course, and he’s been highly trained for it, but you’re still shocked at how easily he can read and understand you, can identify a problem you thought unexplainable. Maybe he sees a lot of girls like you. He’s probably told them the exact same thing, looked at them with the same dark eyes and knowing smile. You don’t know why the thought makes you so annoyed — and if you do, you’re choosing to ignore it.

“You’re right,” you say quietly, finally, and he nods. “What do I do about it?”

“It’s hard to alter thought processes and needs we’ve developed in childhood, but it can be done over time.”

“How?”

He leans forward, face stoic and there’s a tangible shift in the air. You swallow. “If your need is met during your therapy,” he starts, “it could give you the mental space to begin to reduce its presence.” He leans back against the chair, eyes on you as he gauges your reaction.

“Which need is this?” You ask quietly, both afraid of and excited for the answer.

“Discipline,” he answers shortly. “Being kept in line. Everyone needs it to function properly but by adulthood most can do this for themselves. You cannot.”

You frown, a bit embarrassed and he sees it, smiling softly before speaking again. “It’s not a bad thing, and nothing to be ashamed of, but it does need to be addressed. I would like to help you with that.”

“How?”

He says nothing, just stares at you, face blank. He wants you to realise the answer alone, and he wants you to say it.

“You?” You whisper and he smiles.

“Me,” he says. You shift uncomfortably in your chair and he watches you, unmoving.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admit.

“You don’t need to say anything else. I just wanted you to say it and acknowledge it aloud.”

You nod, still unsure of what exactly he’s talking about but you think you have a good, dizzying idea of it.

“It’s an unconventional practice,” he continues, “but you would really benefit.”

“By you… keeping me in line? Disciplining me?”

He nods, humming softly. “Exactly. At least until you’re able to do it yourself.”

“Is this ethical?” You mutter. You don’t know if you want him to hear you or not, but he does.

“It’s therapeutic,” he says quickly. He frowns and you feel the need to apologise, take back everything you’d said and all the questions you’d raised so that he’ll stop. But he’s quickly smiling again and you relax, slumping back against the chair. He regards you with amusement, almost like he’s toying at you, but at the same time he’s deadly, intimidatingly serious.

“I…” you trail off and he smiles, talking again.

“I understand it’s a lot to take in, but nothing would be beyond the boundaries we’d set together and anything we did would be strictly professional and for your benefit. This is to help you, and it will help you,” he stresses.

You feel his suggestion begin to take shape in your mind — him guiding and disciplining you, you following his lead in the exact way you’re starting to think you’ve always craved. But there’s gaps, important gaps in the image in your head and you frown.

“So you’d set rules?” You ask, blushing.

“I would call them goals,” he says. “But yes, they’re essentially rules, and I’m happy to call them that.”

You nod. “Right. And if I broke them…”

“There’d be consequences.”

You bite your lip, daring to look up at his intense gaze. “What kind of consequences?”

He smiles. “Guess.”

It hits you immediately. Fuck, you think. “Dr. Park…”

“Seonghwa, I believe,” he corrects, smiling almost smugly.

You nod, flushing slightly. “Seonghwa,” you say. “I don’t know if I, uh. I don’t know how I’d feel about being… punished, by you.”

He nods understandingly. “I know it’s frightening,” he says softly, “but you’ll be surprised by how much it helps, and how quickly. In the emails prior to our first session you stressed the urgency of your situation, did you not?”

“I did.”

“Then I strongly believe this is your best option. And nothing will happen without your consent, and understanding of why it is happening. Plus,” he pauses, staring you down again with a slight smile. You’re starting to think he likes to see you squirm. “Where there are punishments, there are also rewards.”

Your breath hitches. You’re sure your eyes are comically wide, mouth agape like an idiot but the thoughts that fill your head are making you go dumb. His expression is pleased as he leans forward, slowly closing the distance between you. “Would you like one?”

“A reward?” You ask, confused. He nods. “Have I earned one?”

“If you agree to this arrangement, you will have. It’s a big step. What do you think?”

You know you should take some time to think about it, and you’re sure he’d allow you to if you ask, but almost as soon as you start to consider it you reach your conclusion. It doesn’t take as long as you’d like it to; you have about 30 seconds of doubt before your thoughts shift to the images of Seonghwa you’d been seeing since you met; to images of him rewarding and punishing you and you know you want this. You want him to reward you — to touch and feel and pleasure you in ways you’d never dreamed of; to praise you and tell you what a good girl you are, what a good patient you are for him. You realise also that you want him to punish you just as much — maybe even more. You want to be draped over his lap, or bent over his chair or desk while those strong looking hands come down on you. You bite your lip, flustered at the image; would he make you strip to receive the punishment, so he can see and feel the blooming reds on your skin? Or would he strip you himself, slowly exposing you one centimetre at a time to prolong the tension and expectation? You feel yourself squirming at the thought and look up to him. The expression on his face tells you he knows exactly the image that’s racing through your mind.

“Okay,” you say quietly. “I’ll do it.”

He smiles widely, looking proud and, dare you say it, excited. Wordlessly he curls a finger at you and, understanding him, your legs hurry over to him almost of their own accord. You stop in front of him and he quickly pulls you down to his lap, hands on you instantly. His hands are rough but soft on your skin, and you feel the held back strength in his touches. He could easily overpower you, take you and treat you as he pleases and yet he handles you like you’re precious, something delicate. Something to be protected — and punished.

“You’re such a good girl already,” he breathes. “I knew it from the moment I saw you. It comes naturally to you.”

You smile and he taps your cheek before his gaze falls lower. Gently he starts to run his hand up your thigh until it’s almost touching your heat. He frowns, pinching the denim that separates it. “Stand up and take these off,” he says.

You nod and obey, heart already racing as you step out of your jeans. Before you can ask where to put them he grabs you again, pulling you back into his hold. “Much better,” he says.

His hand quickly finds your heat again, this time only separated from it by your thin cotton panties. “Cute,” he mutters as he runs a finger across them. You gasp at the sensation and he chuckles. “I’m going to put my finger inside you,” he says. “But not until you ask me to.”

You groan and he lands a light slap on your ass. It doesn’t hurt, certainly no more than a slight sting, but you feel and sense the restraint in the hit; the strength behind it. Strength that may soon be inflicted on you in full force. “You won’t complain about what I give you,” he says sternly. “And if you want more, you’ll ask me explicitly. So ask me.”

“Seonghwa, please,” you whisper.

“Hm?” He whispers, cocking an eyebrow. “Please what?”

You want to cry, embarrassed and pent up and desperate for him but you want to be good and make him proud the first time you do this. And you will make him proud. “Put your finger in me,” you whimper. “Please, Seonghwa.”

He shushes you, stroking your head with an awestruck look in his eyes. “Good girl,” he says. “God, you adapt quickly, don’t you?”

“I guess,” you whisper.

“Good,” he says. “That will come very handy. Are you ready for my finger?”

You nod, pushing your hips out towards him silently and he chuckles, slapping your thigh a little harder than last time. “Patience,” he says.

With the hand wrapped around your waist grabs your panties, pulling them to the side so the other hand can press a long, thick finger inside. You gasp, rutting against his hand slightly and he hums. “This is tight,” he notes. “Very tight. And pretty.”

You blush, squirming and he lifts his gaze from where it was focused on your pussy to look at you sternly, brows furrowed. “I didn’t tell you to move, did I?”

You shake your head and he sighs. “No discipline at all,” he says, tutting you slightly. “I’ll keep going because this is your first reward. But from now on, if you fail to control yourself when I’m rewarding you, you’ll be punished instead, alright?”

You nod apologetically. You bow your head, eyes on the ground in shame and he presses his finger under your chin, lifting your head to look at him. The sternness is almost gone now, replaced with a pent-up kind of tenderness. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he whispers. “Never be embarrassed around me, okay? It’s natural to slip up when you’re still learning. If you didn’t I’d have nothing to teach you, would I?”

You nod, guessing he’s right. He smiles, cupping your cheek with one hand before the finger you’d almost forgotten was inside you starts to move. You try to stay still, biting your lip to not make any noise that makes him think you’re losing control. You close your eyes, squeezing them shut but he doesn’t like that either. “Open,” he says and you do. He doesn’t meet your gaze; his eyes are back on your pussy, on the sopping wet hole that’s practically leaking from just one finger. But if he finds it weird or embarrassing, he says nothing.

“Are you ready for the second one?” He asks.

“Yes,” you whisper.

He smiles and slowly pushes in his middle finger. The tightness of your pussy clamps both fingers against each other but he quickly works you open with expert efficiency until he can fit in a third. “I’m going to rub your clit now,” he tells you and you nod meekly.

The sensations come together like fireworks exploding in your stomach and your whines and whimpers quickly turn to louder and more desperate moans. With his other hand he pulls you to lay your head on his chest and you feel his heart racing as you get closer and closer to the limit.

“Are you able to cum?” He asks.

You nod, whining against his shirt and surely covering in drool but he doesn’t care. He keeps going, faster and harder until with one command — “cum for me.” — he has you letting go completely. You sob, shaking and crying in his hold as you finish. He strokes your head, whispering to you while it happens until you’re done. He lets you stay in his hold for a while, whispering words you don’t understand until you finally start to come back to earth. You look up at his face, worried and awe-struck. He smiles, relieved to see you back and fully present again.

“How was that?” He asks.

“So good,” you whisper. “I think— this is going to be really helpful for me.”

He chuckles, rocking you back and forth and running his hand up and down your back.

“I’m certain it will.”

—————

um yeah sorry about this… this is obviously not professional and an irl therapist would lose every license they ever had if this happened. but in fiction, it’s pretty cool lol. reblog and comment if you enjoyed or if you’d like to see more of this arrangement (i.e. if you’re horny enough that you wanna see urself get punished…) all requests are being worked on rn but they are still OPEN!! love🖤🖤🖤

[randomfoggytiger]

Hello Tiger,

I've never spoken out on this subject and I'm not going to again, but seeing Sunday's discussion, I can't remain silent. We have different concepts of what it means for a young woman to “thrive” and what it means for a man to assume a relationship openly, without looking like a deer in the headlights every time he is seen with his partner. So far, so good. As for the glaring age difference, it's controversial, but it's not the end of the world either. But what about the fact that a 55-year-old rich man goes after a 22-year-old girl, enters into a sexual relationship and brings her to live with him? 22 years! Do we have a different concept of that too? Is a 55-year-old man with a 22-year-old girl acceptable to you? For me, there's no justification - I'm still a fan of Mulder, but only of the character. For now. Please don't be offended: I'm a long-time reader of your site and even though I don't agree with your position on this subject, I enjoy reading it very much and I appreciate your willingness to write about the series. I wish you a happy 2025!! 🙏

I'm not offended, don't worry. :DDDD Age gaps relationships boil down to whether an individual can stomach that sort of dynamic or not; and no amount of logic or reasoning is going to dissuade a gut reaction. So, I get it when others can't stand it.

And thank you for the compliments! I try to keep church and state (my irl opinions and the series' meta) separate. ;)))

My Thoughts

I don't mind age gaps because I've seen/heard them done successfully-- however, those successes are incredibly rare. Stereotypically, it involves someone younger with someone older, and there's usually money to some degree. Exploitation is a huge risk to watch out for; and I've found the toxic relationships have two prominent factors in common: A. they quickly lock down a younger individual by knocking her up, thus making it harder for said individual to leave; and B. they dangle and lie and push off the type of commitment the younger individual expected, dragging on the process as long as possible while demeaning and belittling the younger person's sense of identity.

Why am I okay with David and Monique?

First off, we don't know how old Monique was when she and David began dating. She first appeared publicly at The X-Files premiere (with her friends and boss from the smoothie shop) in 2016. The two didn't appear publicly together until 2017; and I'm pretty sure she was on set a time or two while S11 of the Revival was filming. She would have been 24 or 25 then.

However, let's assume they began dating in 2015 when she was 22 (after she followed Brad on Twitter or Instagram, I can't remember which): I would immediately raise my eyebrows and go on the defensive. That would lead me down a long rabbit hole of questioning and double questioning; and I would have to arrive at a final conclusion with some sort of evidence to indicate if this was a predatory, creepy, weird, neutral, positive, or healthy relationship-- part of that process would include looking at relationships outside of the two primary "targets": kids, family members, exes, etc. Which I did, because there was a lot of ruckus (on Tumblr, sometimes Twitter) about the nature of their relationship. Next, I would look at the individuality of the people involved: was there an improper balance between the two-- was one beholden to the other? Speaking of which--

Secondly, I long suspected Monique had independence of some form apart from him-- her Instagram posts didn't change substantially after they moved in together except to now include him; she hangs out regularly with her friends; she has hobbies and interests outside of the relationship; etc., etc.-- and confirmed my suspicions yesterday with an old interview. Her parents, per the interview, were well-off enough to give her horse riding lessons... and ice skating lessons... and tennis lessons... and violin lessons... and soccer lessons, all at once (?) She traveled the world for tournaments before meeting DD.

Regardless, I just don't see David as the type to leave an ex high and dry after they part ways-- he went above and beyond to pay alimony and his kids's expenses post divorce (at apparently higher rates than is usual for his $$ bracket in NY, if I recall), and he brings all his past associates, exes, and family forward in his projects. Even if one wanted to write off their relationship as a sugar baby transaction, MP would still have the ability to network as DD's ex after taking the assets both would split post- (potential) separation.

Now, for the moral/ethical aspect: while many are against and few for the idea of age gaps, I-- personally-- weigh each case individually. Most celebrity age gaps are based on transaction, but knowingly. Leonardo DiCaprio, for example, dates only women younger than 25; but his girlfriends seem aware of that fact, and he markets them and their careers pretty generously (comparatively) so that they're established as models or socialites or etc. etc. etc. by the time the relationship comes to a close. (I've never heard one speak badly of him, but there's always that possibility.) If there is exploitation there, it's at least propagated by both parties.

In David and Monique's case, she hasn't used her relationship with DD to market this or that venture-- despite speculation that she would-- but doesn't hide it, either. He, meanwhile, brought her everywhere with him; introduced her to friends, acquaintances, and professionals along the way; and snapped countless photos of her and let her snap countless photos of him. They seem-- on a surface level-- to be attached, in love, and secure in each other. Not to the same degree that he and Tea had, but he's not the same man post- public "sex scandal" and (especially) divorce. And having gone through countless paparazzi pics of the two of them over the years, I've noted that he doesn't treat her differently than any previous "private citizen" ex, and initiates more physical contact in public than she does.

Swinging back around to the moral/ethical argument, is it right that a man thirty years MP's senior should date her-- one with kids, no less? It depends, to me. What is the health of the relationship? What is the health of their relationships outside of that relationship? Are they growing and changing or stagnating and regressing? I've seen both seem to progress rather than regress-- he and his directorial and podcast efforts, she and her arts and crafts and flower business. He and his kids seem to have a solid, loving, loyal relationship even after she joined his life; he and Tea have a cordial, publicly supportive, even loving relationship after their divorce; and he never seemed to abandon his responsibilities to his mom in her last years on earth. As for Monique, she and her friends and family seem (don't have too much information to glean from here) to still have a solid, loving, loyal relationship; she seems to keep out of business that doesn't concern her (DD and Tea's co-parenting); and she seems to not push his kids into compromising or uncomfortable situations.

As far as age gap relationships go, this appears pretty drama free, even-keel, and seemingly positive and healthy-- 'healthy' as in there are numerous signs of personal growth from both parties.

Personally, I think people settle into relationships where they feel most at home, or ones that reflect where they are in their personal lives. Those dynamics could be healthy or wickedly unhealthy; but they're where the person wants to be. (It's up to family and loved ones to rescue an abuse victim, of course, but that person picked someone who reflects how they feel about themselves in their minds, for example.) I don't know what initially drew Monique and David to each other-- maybe she makes a mean green smoothie. Maybe he has a ton of money she likes to spend (though their rather unglamorous lives, factored in with her parents' more-than stable finances, leads me to take this with a grain of salt.) All I know is what I've seen written up on the internet-- that Monique "saved him, in a way" (said a close friend-- who was not a bootlicker, because she also had biting criticisms of David to share)-- or leaked online-- that DD is MP's world and she loves him.

So, in conclusion: I'm very skeptical of any relationship-- age gap or otherwise-- and need to see proof before I believe that two people are actually in love or thriving. Furthermore, it's their business; and as long as his kids aren't feeling neglected, abandoned, or "less than", and as long as there isn't abuse, manipulation, or control, then I figure let the two in the relationship sort themselves out. ;))))

[aro-culture-is]

I've been questioning if I am aro or not for the past year, previously I identified myself as a lesbian because I dont have an interest in men, and I usually feel more comfortable on women. However when I try to imaginr myself in the future I dont see myself being in a relationship in the future, like I am wondeeng "how the hell does one manage a relationship"

But I dont know if I am really aro because when I was in middle school I had a sort of "crush" on a person but I was mostly thinking "Hey this girl is really nice and the only person that understands me maybe I have a crush on her" and I really love the idea of romance and shipping characters and seeing other aromantic people being repulsed by the idea made me question even more.

hi! thanks for reaching out. since it's been a while since I've answered stuff like this, reminder that all asks of this nature are filed under the tag 'am i aro'

Your first paragraph is such a common experience in a-spec communities - initially, most folks start from "well, i'm not attracted to x gender, so I must be attracted to y?" or "well, I'm equally attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan?" when the problem is, 0 attraction to one gender is not related at all to how you feel about others, and 0 = 0. You're in very, very good company among a-spec folks, including yours truly - who rotated through the whole of LGBTQ before realizing aromanticism was an option that actually fit very well.

With regards to the second paragraph - first of all, mood! Personally, that "crush" was something we'd later identify as a squish, or friendship crush. Hilariously, we no longer like this particular person at all, as becoming friends led to us discovering our specific neurodivergent flavors interacted to constantly frustrate us. Enjoying - or not enjoying - romance and shipping is not at all something inherent to your attraction.

Plenty of outwardly aro folks talk more about our experiences with romantic repulsion and frustrations with shipping culture because we are in aromantic spaces and talking about the sociological implications, but - personally? I adore shipping, dislike seeing irl romance, and think it's mostly interesting to talk about how romance interacts with expectations and laws in society. I don't like to call myself romance repulsed, romance favorable, any of that - I think those are personally limiting to my identity and how I interact with those subjects. Other folks find it useful as a shorthand to explain how they feel, and that's great too!

I can't tell you what your identity is, but I think it's useful to say this: you've described to me a very, very common story to many a-spec folks. You're seeking advice from me, which tells me it probably matters a lot to you, and I wouldn't be surprised if, in some ways, you feel like you need permission, or verification, or any of those sorts of things.

I think, rather than relying on that - what would happen if, privately, you give yourself permission to explore what it feels like to say "I am aromantic", or "I think I'm aromantic"? How do you feel? Nervous, anxious, bubbly, weighed down, vulnerable - those are all common. But the thing is, if I think of an identity I am 100% sure I do not belong to in that way - I certainly don't feel a little flutter of hope. I don't feel like I might be onto a scary new journey. I just feel like I've said that the world is shaped like a rabbit - nonsensical and wrong. If you feel like there's a possibility - does it hurt you to say, "I might be, and what does that change?" The worst that happens is, quite literally, you learned something about yourself.

-- mod axel

[12december2017]

Tagged by @catgirltitties thank you!! <3

Last song i listened to: American teenager by ethel cain

Favorite color: hard to pick but i think burnt orange, or makes me so happy in the fall when the leaves turn to that

Close seconds would red, coral, and burgundy :3

Last book i read: Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, it was a pretty good gothic horror story and i enjoyed it. The writing was awkward sometimes but the story itself more than made up for that

Last movie i watched: i think i was high when i watched it so im not sure? The last movie i remember watching was smile 2 which i saw in theaters, it was a pretty good psychological horror/thriller sort of movie that im still thinking about like a month or two later

Last show i watched: Arcane, its like half of everything i think about rn i love jinx and ekko to death

Im also in the middle of season 1 of the x files which i also love!!

Sweet/spicy/savory: all 3?? If i have to pick one id go with savory but i love my sweets (i keep 3 candy jars by my desk at home) and spicy enhances savory in like every dish theyre combined in

Relationship status: single as fuck but kinda enjoying it

Last thing i looked up: dead cells map (im so fucking addicted to this game)

Current obsession: arcane and timebomb specifically, i dont usually do ships but i love them way too much not to

Looking forward to: finally getting my loans paid off (over halfway there!!!) and being able to move in with my two closest irl friends :3

Tags!!

@sandyca5tle @kanithecatdemon @pacificglovebox @tha--dude @coldgoldlazarus i hope its okay that i tagged yall!!

[olomaya]

Religion Mod: Banisteria Expansion

This is a small update for my Religion mod specifically for the Omiscan religion.

So you probably don't think of bongs when you think of religion but the use of psychedelic substances was a very common practice in ancient religions as people used to use them to commune with spirits and higher powers. As the Omiscan religion is based on ancient MesoAmerican and West African animist religions, it fits right in and makes for some fun gameplay.

If you play as an Omiscan, then you know that there's a special unlock you get for maxing out the religion which is a psychedelic herb called Banisteria. It's based on ayahuasca. Sims eat it and gain temporary "enlightenment" or they may have a negative reaction to it.

It's always been the plan to make a drinkable tea version (which is how you normally take ayahuasca) but while I was doing the vape pen, I added the option to smoke banisteria as well for my freewheeling free-lovin Omiscans.

Since the Omiscan religion is all about communing with others and the spirits, I wanted the smoking (and eventually drinking) to be a shared experience but the idea of sharing a vape seemed gross to me (do people do that IRL?). So I created a bong which is, in theory, just as gross, but at least that's what you normally do with bongs so I can let that slide.

Requirements: You need the updated banisteria and Peteran (that's where the buff effects are) files and my Smoking mod here to use this and University for the herb effects. If you are downloading the religion mod for the first time, please read through the documents and the original post first.

Credits: The bong is an edited conversion from Chisami's Highlife set. Sadly their blog is no longer active but you can still find their stuff on a graveyard site. You may be able to use other bongs but I shorted this one to fit the animation so you'll have to trial and error to see which other cc bongs will work.

Download after instructions after the cut

Banisteria is a sacred herb to the followers of the Omiscan religion so it's only available to those who have mastered the religion. It cannot be bought or acquired any other way (unless you use a cheat).

However globalization ruins everything and turns it into a commodity so now it's become cool to smoke Banisteria even if you're not Omiscan.

Still only Omiscans have a good understanding of how to handle the herb and so they have a lower chance of having a bad trip. Chance of a bad trip is 40% (tunable) if you don't have an Omiscan skill level 3 or higher.

Sims can sell banisteria at the smoke shop which yields a higher price than if you were to sell it through your inventory. (How much more you get is based on the quality of the herb.)

I've also updated the herb effects for banisteria so having a bad trip is bit more "psychedelic". Sims that are tripping will hear and see things only they can hear and see.

Because banisteria is a mind altering substance, pregnant Sims should not smoke it but no one's stopping you from doing so. It will cause harm to the pregnancy though.

Other Features:

This adds two additional features to the vape pen

Add Banisteria: You will need at least 4 banisteria herbs in your inventory to fill the vape pen. Note: this amount is tunable in Retuner

Smoke Banisteria: self explanatory

Bongs/Waterpipes

You can purchase from the smoke shop at the grocery store where you get cigarettes, vapes, etc.

Bongs cost 350 and require 6 banisteria herbs to fill. Also tunable.

Sims with a bong in their inventory can also smoke with a friend. Just select someone you have 40+ relationship with and select "Smoke with X". They may accept or refuse based on their traits or current buffs.

Omiscan teens won't get in trouble for smoking banisteria because it's part of their culture.

Download here

Download updated banisteria here and religion base file here (required)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 11 thoughts

okay!!!! i've kept you waiting long enough. now let's get into the things i liked about this episode while ignoring the stuff i didn't.

first. mulder walking into his office. and scully sitting there in the dark, watching a tape.

this had me HOWLING. how did she get in there? she keeps a key to his house and his office on hand at all times? the level of casualness with which he turned on the lights only for dana scully to be sitting in his office chair, as if it were the most natural of things in the world, floored me. she made herself welcome. she looks up and says hello.

then we get a little lore break to learn about the case and yeah yeah case stuff hold on. did she just say she got there at 6 am?

yes, you heard me correctly, she made her way into his office at 6 in the morning to watch the video and go through all of the related x files. i think i had tears in my eyes at this point and i definitely do now as i recount it. dana scully you are such a little weirdo and i love you so bad. i hope you enjoyed your time rummaging through his stuff. glad his space has really become yours as well.

and his entire lack of reaction to her being there pushed me even further over the edge. like, sure. at this point in their relationship, why not walk in to see her sitting at your desk and going through all your shit? the level of casual intimacy is at once so fucking funny and so heartwarming.

(a few weeks ago i was chatting with a friend about our top five favorite fictional characters, and i made the argument that scully and mulder ought to count as just one character for the sake of the ranking, because of how entirely they blend into one person. and her just being there when he opens the door- and having been there for hours at that point- really solidifies my reasoning. and i had made that argument BEFORE seeing any of s2, let alone this moment)

the next moment that had me laughing was when they went to the convalescent home (which wasn't a word i was familiar with before all of this) and our poor agents get stuck questioning a 74 year old man during his bath time. i already had a "oh noooo" feeling of dread about the whole situation- for how could the academy prepare them for this? and sure enough, he flashed them.

now, this was, like i mentioned in an earlier post, part of an attempt at social commentary that i could and might write an essay on- but let's set that aside here, and just deal with the fact that our poor agents have been put into such an awkward position, while understanding that the scene is being played for comedic value despite how awful that would be irl. because mulder smiles and says "thanks for sharing", while scully also bites back laughter. their faces at this moment had me laughing. it was such a "fuck my entire life" moment for both of them and i felt that extreme case of tv show-induced secondhand embarrassment.

and i think they handled it quite well!!! have we considered giving them a raise? for having to deal with all the haunted children and now creepy old men? god. their poor eyes. "thanks for sharing" stfu mulder... he cannot act seriously for ONE minute!!!!!!

there was another big ass coats moment when they walked outside and spoke with someone involved in running the program. and you know by now that's catnip to me!!!

one of the old men starts choking to death (he was taking mushroom pills he wasn't supposed to) and scully slips into Doctor Mode and it was deeply satisfying to watch. she starts saying fancy words and calling out for certain medications- "this man's in ventricular fibrillation, i need 75 milligrams of lidocaine and one amp of amphinephrine" and i'm sat there like yes. exactly right!!! she's doing serious doctor business!!!!

(i need to edit this image to make it appropriate for when her doctor mode takes over. because this is what i'm always referencing when i say someone is "shifting into ____ mode" and i don't think i've ever spelled that out before so i should here. have not seen seinfeld just saw this image one day and it permanently altered my vocabulary)

there's another moment where she's having a doctor-off with the dude who worked at the place and she said the line "the clinical benefits are marginal at best" and idk man i just like to see her doing her doctorly thing.

(she also gets very doctorly excited about the idea of there being improvements for incurable conditions such as alzheimer's and it's good to see some joy on her)

next thing that had me laughing:

"are you saying that the building's haunted? because if you are, i think you've been working with me for too long, scully" <- said in a flirtatious manner

don't remember what was going on at this point beyond someone had just fallen to death, but i wrote "another scully serving looks moment in the midst of tragedy" and i stand by it. this is really an epidemic. scully stop working angles in front of the dead... or don't because i'm not actually complaining <3

we also see mulder prowling down a dark and damp hall and cracking open a lock to break into a room. which seemed like a typical activity for a guy like him. literally just a tuesday in his life. he found a bunch of mushrooms and i made a frantic note reading along the lines of DO NOT TOUCH THEM because famously mushrooms WILL kill you but he seemed unharmed. thank god.

he's all, what if the mushrooms are what is helping the patients, and scully delivers this banger line: "mulder, mushrooms aren't medicine. they taste good on hamburgers, but they can't raise the dead"

which is 1. a hilarious fucking line just for its sheer ridiculousness, and 2. a critical insight into how scully orders her burgers... which i WILL be adding to my list of useless character facts

the episode winds down with mulder getting trapped in a room with rapidly rising water and we see the door SLAM right before scully can witness the ghosts tossing things about. and the commitment to that gag of her never actually seeing the paranormal stuff really got me there.

then, the door breaks due to the water, and everyone is soaking wet, which is always a good look.

overall, highlight of this episode to me was by far scully breaking into his office at 6 am. nothing will top that for me in terms of comedic value. it has become Her space now. she has claimed you mulder, there is no going back, you are in far too deep and thank god for that because you freaks deserve each other.

[mswyrr]

in defense of "multishipping"

Texts are inherently multiple; the evidence within them can be read more than one way. All stories are multiverses of possibilities - directions things might have gone and still been plausibly in keeping with the rules of the worldbuilding and characterization.

And that is why I multiship. If there's good canon evidence for A/B and A/C and I find both dynamics enjoyable, I can explore and enjoy them without there being an issue. I see no reason to deny myself enjoyment in fictional dynamics that move me and/or make my brain and heart happy.

A/B and A/C canon divergence fic from key canon moments when they might have gone off and had a life together or gotten together in ways that changed the story are just as valid. As long as I maintain that connection to the textual evidence (characterization, worldbuilding, etc) then it's fine. I don't have to choose. Both can coexist simultaneously - that's part of the fun of fiction.

(And AUs can be even more distant from canon, but I prefer mine pretty close - I like to make a divergence at a certain point, but keep to the "rules" of the world and characters otherwise).

I consider it multishipping when I have a two person and three person poly ship for the same character, btw, even if A & B characters are in both ships - because a poly relationship (as with poly relationships irl!) is its own, distinct dynamic, not merely two dynamics (A/B and A/C) squished together. IRL poly relationships require a lot of communication and work for a *reason*.

Sometimes I have an OTP and no interest in any other dynamics (my only ship for The X Files is Mulder and Scully - this has been true my entire life since childhood!). But for many characters, I'll have multiple dynamics I like - A/B, A/C, and/or A/B/C. It's literature so I can enjoy "mutually contradictory" dynamics because… texts are inherently multiple and there's good textual evidence that I like which supports all three of these. I can analyze the text in different ways, spin off canon divergence and au scenarios etc.

If there's canon support for it and it makes your brain happy, it's valid to ship. There is no requirement for "monogamous shipping." None of the characters are real - they only exist inside a text with multiple valid readings.

This is especially true of storyverses where a "multiverse" or multiple timelines are literally canon! A can be with B in one universe/timeline and C in another and A/B/C in another etc.

And "noncanon" ships are just as valid as canon ones btw - in fact, sometimes I will invest the most effort in drawing out and developing the textual evidence for a ship I suspect won't be canon (or, if canon, not "end game") precisely because the show/movie cannot possibly do every viable, textually grounded option. And I want to articulate the one that we aren't likely to see explored.

[writingwell]

20 13 fanfic questions

Thanks to @randomfoggytiger for the tag. I didn’t do all of them, just the pertinent ones, and I modified those just to include ffnet as well. 

1. How many works do you have? 26 on AO3 (for my mature rated Spy Castle stuff); fanfiction.net has 278 Castle fics;and about 300ish archived at Gossamer for X-Files.

4. What are your top fics by kudos/reviews? The Return of Vulcan Simmons, Tempest (not a spy work!) on AO3; ffnet would be One Hundred Days of Summer (co-authored with SandianeCarter) and Dash It All.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I think if you take the time to contact me, you deserve the respect of hearing from me. It might not be a full-blown conversation, but I’ll do what I can with a full-time profession and a writing one as well. Also, suuuuper sorry, just discovered AO3 has an inbox. 300 days ago, some of you messaged me and I am just now seeing those. Lol. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have a spy fic where the two of them are just so at odds, so grieving with and over each other… okay that’s most of them. But I try not to end on angst, as it’s supposed to be the journey not the destination. (Angst is a twisting of the heart, not a place where you stay. According to me.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dash series has the ‘happiest’ endings. Not because life is happy, but because they figured out how to create contentment within what they’d been given/dealt in life. And in ways other versions of the Castle characters hadn’t accomplished. They did the work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh definitely. A while back, I turned off comments on tumblr for about a year as I processed and healed from some targeted attacks, and I can say that I came out more certain of myself and my writing. But I was also an adult who had not been forced to weather these attacks as a vulnerable 13 y-o on social media (as so many of you are unfortunately dealing with). I was able to detach, center myself once more, and rise above because I’d grown up IRL, so to speak. I have a faith in something bigger than me which, while it doesn’t look like what it did, has sustained me and given me the confidence to know my worth even as it spurs me to be/do better. 

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Oh definitely, lol. It’s on AO3. Usually I like to explore M/F with a third in there for kicks, as the concept of generosity and giving within the sexual relationship/experience is intriguing to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I objected to the term ‘stolen.’ I’ve had my fics, without my knowledge, posted elsewhere, translated without my knowledge, and changed to other fandom characters to be posted elsewhere. However! I’ve had loads of people ask me too, and I really appreciate being able to go visit them. (Stolen would indicate I somehow own these fanfictions, and I do not, as that would be a legally difficult hill to stand on. I also do not perceive collective fan art in this manner, because the world is all of ours.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Oh there’s a co-written story that me, carto, and muppet47 started and have NEVER finished. We all know Castle has to go to jail, but we can’t write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing it the first time. Correctly. As in, it comes out the way it should or ought to or how I am seeing it in the moment. I have the right rhythm, I can spell and I have the grammar skills. My first draft is fast and good enough for submission. Of course, I go back and edit, and I have to, but I’m very blessed in not ever going through anything like writer’s block.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Secondary characters. I have a tendency for tunnel vision, where all I want to do is talk about and to and for the main characters. If they have friends or family, I barely include them. I can’t manage to care that they exist. But all of us live in a complex web of relationships and community; no one is alone. My last novel, Taste of Salt, was an concentrated effort to include as many other perspectives as possible, so it was told through the POVs of the two main characters and interspersed with flashback chapters from the POVs of their friends, family, coworkers, chance encounters, medical personnel, kids, support networks… there you go.You have to do the thing that’s hard. Write it out, over and over, keep practicing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yeah, sometimes it becomes necessary for the character. But please keep it to a minimum (imo) as it detracts from the reader’s understanding and experience of reading. It ought to be rather easy to understand what the person is saying due to context or just the flow of the scene. If you’re writing in English, and you have a character visiting France, then obviously some of that ought to be in French, but after a while, you can indicate that the language is being used while writing it in English. I say this because most of you are fandom writers who are not writing for literary audiences; therefore, don’t ruin everyone’s fun my making it incomprehensible or inaccessible. Please.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Don’t ask me to choose between my children! I can tell you that Dash holds a special place in my heart due to the amount of readers who said it gave them understanding of their own sensory issues or their child’s autism, etc. Spy gave me one of my greatest friends, carto, who continues to love and support me and my writing. 

I won't tag anyone, because I deleted so many of these questions, but feel free to answer or share or talk with me about them!

[thedeluluverse]

POSTING IT EARLY!!

Author’s Note: So happy to finally get this out there! BIGGEST thanks to my bestie @starfire21, as this is mainly her baby; I just wrote it down, hehe. I hope y’all like it, and please let me know what y’all think! Until next time, lovelies! <3 Also here is the link for Part 1 so you can get additional info :)

Summary: A talented saber smith’s life changes forever when the Sith crosses her path as she attempts to reform the corrupt government she serves. Will they be a help or a hindrance?

Pairing:  Sith!Wooyoung x femjedi/sabersmith!Y/N. Other kpop idols in the story, but the main relationship is between Woo and Y/N.

Rating: 18+

Genre:  angst, fantasy, kpop, smut, fluff

Word Count: 5,703

Warnings:  verbal abuse/bullying kind of all around, mentions of attempted suicide, abandonment and self-worth issues, HJ kinda bipolar and entitled/creepy, bisexual suffering, oral (m. receiving), tit play, clit play, p in v raw sex (don’t do this irl y’all), slight mentions of kink

While Wooyoung is busy trying to decide whether to go out of his way to a farther shop or enlist the help of Y/N to fix his saber, Y/N is eating breakfast and informing Huyang of the previous night’s events.

They both agree that Winter’s attack seems quite random, as they have no personal strife with the Sith and have only met her once.

Huyang suggests they both lie low and not make any far treks unless absolutely necessary for at least a few days in case their lives are in jeopardy.

Still sore from the fight, you don’t disagree, for once. There is plenty of work to be done in the shop, and there is no rush, so lying low sounds nice.

Meanwhile, in Coruscant, the Council discusses the growing threat that the Sith are becoming to the galaxy.

After a long while of brainstorming, Master Choi Minho has an idea, “Why don’t we collect more taxes from the people and place military personnel around our headquarters?”.

There is a wave of silent, approving nods until Chaewon says, “That isn’t much of a plan. What about protection for our people? If their livelihoods are getting strained, they deserve to reap some of the benefits as well!”.

Resounding chuckles fill the air as her cheeks turn pink and her eyes start to well up with tears, feeling embarrassed. However, before she can speak up, Master Chungha smirks. “Oh, you know what, that would be a lovely alteration to the plan! If we were still younglings. Grow up, Chaewon; that isn’t how the world works. We maintain order, and our subjects will be at peace if we are safe. Imagine we are in danger, then they panic; how dangerous that could rapidly become!”.

Most of the Council is clapping for the Master's use of logic when the youngest female Jedi to ever be on the Council, Rei, speaks up, "Yeah, even I know better, and you surpass me by 3 years. You’ll never make it onto the Council if you stay so naïve”.

At this point, Chaewon’s knuckles are white, and she is about to burst with fury at the disrespect.

Luckily, Master Jaeyun diffuses the impending explosion just in time. "All right then, this has been a great start in figuring out how to counteract the Sith issue, but we should dismiss for the day. When we gather next time, let's be more respectful and open-minded. Until next time, stay safe, everyone. Meeting adjourned.”.

Waiting until everyone else leaves to discuss the new developments with Somin and Jihyo, Chaewon remains seated while the rest of the Council files out of the room. Adding insult to injury, Chungha and Rei pat her head as if she were a child as they leave.

As soon as the door shuts, the floods can no longer be contained in her eyes, and Chaewon breaks down. Thankfully, she isn’t alone for long as her allies rush to her side quickly.

Somin reassures her gently while gently rubbing her back, "Let it out, dear; I am so proud of you for standing up for the people and keeping your emotions in check with everything else that happened. While you do need to fine-tune the execution, it was better than staying silent."

Meanwhile, Jihyo kneeled in front of Chaewon with a fierce look in her eyes, “Say the word, and I’ll use my strength training on that prick Minho and his ‘secret’ lover. I’ve been dying to slap them both for so long!” Somin scolds, "Now, why are you listening to those rumors? Whether true or false, it doesn’t concern us or our cause. We need to stay focused, Hyo."

Amongst sniffles, Chaewon chuckles, "I appreciate the offer, but it's okay; we need to make them think we are still aligned with them for the time being.”

At this, Somin looks down at Chaewon with a motherly, proud smile as she kisses the top of her head, and they all head out before curfew is enacted.

Back at Y/N's home shop, she is just finishing her morning routine, getting dressed, and trying to make a game plan for the current list of orders when she hears the bell ring that someone has entered.

Huffing in annoyance, she heads to the front. "I thought I told Huyang to leave the sign off today. Oh well, maybe someone is just lost, and I can get them out quickly,” she mutters.

When she sees who entered the shop, she turns on her heel to walk away, saying, "Look, I have had enough run-ins with you and your gang for a lifetime, so please let me work in peace. Between your elevator ambush, your slightly creepy leader randomly dropping in to apologize for the prior event and slightly offering to work together, then that Winter chick tracking me down, burning my shop, and trying to kill me, I’m all Sithed out, sorry.”

His eyes widen as he pieces together what he has just been told with the argument he heard before leaving. Immediately, he is filled with rage and is concerned for you more than he should be.

Sadly, he doesn’t have time to waste with silly ponderings right now. “Look, I can only speak on my actions, and I apologize if I annoyed you; I was just trying to have a little fun,” he says as his signature shit-eating grin spreads across his face.

He switches modes when he realizes the extent to which you are in no mood for his usual antics. "Okay, look, seriously, I need your help."

You cackle for 2 minutes straight, "Wait, so your crew pesters and threatens me for the last 24 hours, including your insults yesterday, and you think I’ll help you? Get lost.”

Your foot is almost across the threshold of the next room when he says, “You’re right. You can refuse service to anyone. I would, too, if I were you, but I have an offer. I need you to check out and possibly replace my kyber crystal. In exchange, I will pay double your normal service charge to help show you that I am serious about my apology and for information about what happened last night. Do we have a deal?”.

Shocked doesn’t cover how you feel now, “Hold on a minute. Why do you want information about your buddy’s attack? Wouldn’t you just ask them?”

Woo sighs, “ I would, but she is quite emotional right now, and I want the truth. She acted outside of Honjoong’s permission and wounded the integrity of our organization, which, as you know, is already being threatened. She will not know that I know anything or that I got the details from you. The intel will go straight from you to me, then to Hongjoong, who can concoct a story of how he learned about the specifics.”

For once, you can see genuine sincerity in his eyes and give a nod of approval, showing that you understand everything and agree to his terms.

Moving into the connected workshop structure, he sits and watches as you run diagnostic tests on his saber.

After about 15 minutes of this, you start dismantling it in silence so you can replace the crystal that looks like it got jostled by falling off his bedside table or something.

Suddenly, you break the silence. “Wanna know why what you said in the elevator hit such a nerve? Well, even if you don’t too bad. If you can just speak your mind whenever so can I."

Looking taken aback yet endeared at your spunk, he extends his hand in a go-ahead motion.

You continue explaining, "I built this business with my mentor's help after not being taken seriously for 5 years. Just having moved into the city, having no official training, and being a human woman made for an extremely steep uphill climb to where I am now. It was nothing new after a lifetime of having no parents and fending for myself, but there is only so much a person can take. One day, Huyang found me in an alley, about to inject myself with an instant death serum I bought from this shady tent because there was no more hope in my soul. He didn’t realize what it was until he fed me, and I broke down and told him my whole life story.”

Finishing up the saber, you drank some water and proceeded, “I won’t bore you with that, don’t worry. The main point is that after being abandoned and abused multiple times by so-called friends and family alike, I learned I can only depend on myself and, eventually, Huyang. I then put these silver streaks in my hair to remind myself that there is always light in the darkness; the same is true with most people, even those on the Sith side. The way I look at it, they are just misunderstood, and if their methods changed, they would be more respected and less feared.”

Laughing, you realize, “As far as core values go, the Sith is less corrupt than the Council at this point. Your leaders apologize and are protective; you all seem roughly the same rank. On the other hand, the Council likes to pretend to be more open-minded because it has a diverse membership and cares about the people. Yeah right. They overtax and overwork their citizens, who are practically slaves just so they can live posh, secure lives while the rest of us are dying from a myriad of terrible factors. A few secret friends and I in the Council are trying to gather support to overthrow those who have let greed poison them, but who knows if success will happen in my lifetime...”

Realizing you have been rambling for a while now, you feel self-conscious and hurriedly recount the run-in with Winter and tell him which shop was damaged. Thanking him for his time, you rush him out as questions bombard you.

Why did you open up so much to him? That isn’t like you... must still be off from yesterday. That must be it. Yeah. By busying yourself with other orders, you try to forget about your lapse in fortress status.

As Wooyoung stands outside your shop with a newly repaired saber and the old crystal in his pouch, which is special as it was his first, he has much to think about on the way home, more like the burned shop.

Too much is on his mind, and he can use the longer time away as evidence that he didn’t go to your shop so Winter doesn’t get suspicious when Joong has more details about the event later.

Woo is confused on several fronts as he talks to himself throughout his trek, “Why would anyone hurt her? Wait, why do I care? Why would she tell me about her past? It must be a trick to try to protect herself. Is she that type, though? Whatever, I don’t care.”

The last point is immediately disproven upon seeing the damage that Winter caused to the shop. Instinctively, he starts cleaning up the area and making mental notes of supplies to bring next time to fix up the place.

After about 2 hours, he starts heading back, and his inner turmoil has only heightened. He shouldn’t care, so why does he? I mean, you made some excellent points. But he is also under orders to kill you...decisions must be made.

Once dusk hits, you start tidying up the shop, content with the work you got done today (and yes, still repressing the swirl of thoughts from earlier).

Huyang enters with fresh meals he bought from the market nearby. You can both rest and enjoy easy food after the stressful last couple of days.

During the meal, you confide in Huyang about what happened earlier, and he is eerily silent. Not able to take it, after about 5 minutes, you shout, "What?! Just talk, damn... it’s weird when you’re quiet.”

 Clearing his throat, he says, “Apologies, ma’am, I just don’t think you want to hear my notes on this situation as they are similar to the last run-in you had with this Wooyoung. It is admirable that he repented and was able to be sincere with you. As for you, you already know the truth deep down and don’t want to admit it. That is all I shall say”.

Rolling your eyes, you just get up and go to your bedroom as Huyang chuckles to himself.

Unable to sleep due to the mixed emotions, countless questions, and thoughts, you decide to check out your shop at dawn to assess the damage.

 It is evident that someone else has been there as soon as you arrive. All of the lesser damaged items are in one corner, and it looks.... swept. You shrug and are happy that good people exist; they could have easily robbed you, but everything is accounted for despite its state.

Wooyoung, on the other hand, had a restful night’s sleep. Being physically exhausted and pleased that Winter got scolded more due to the intel he gave Hongjoong made him pass out as soon as he lay down.

Unfortunately, he was awoken in the middle of the night. Winter was knelt by his bed, blocking his saber, shaking him awake, “Woo, I cannot sleep. Can I sleep with you instead?.”

Smiling, he rolls onto his side, facing her, and says, “Sure, c’mon in, babe.”

As soon as she is settled in, he opens his eyes and pushes her onto the floor. Yelping with tears in her eyes, she says, “Why did you say sure and call me babe just to do that?!”

Startled fully awake by her screams, Wooyoung realizes what he has done.

In truth, he was dreaming about you too domestically, and in dreamland, her request was presented as yours.

So, when he was met with Winter in reality, he was appalled not only by her presence so close to him but also anxious about the contents of the dream.

He cannot tell her that, though, so he crafts a half lie; “Oh, um, sorry, I was having a dream about this babe I met at the cantina today while I was getting my saber fixed. Go back to your own room, petulant child.”

Whimpering, she refuses, “NO! I am not a child, and I will not be treated like one anymore, not by you especially. Can’t you see how perfect we would be together? Much better than Joong and Y/N; it is so pathetic.”

At the mention of you, Woo bolts upright, “What do you mean?” Winter is confused by his sudden interest. Nevertheless, she explains, “Well, Joong went to Y/N yesterday and plans to go alone tomorrow, too. It seems like he likes her, but, knowing him, he is probably just toying with her.”

Pondering her words, Wooyoung says, “That is his business, and we should not pay any attention to anything he does not discuss with us. Now go to your own room and sleep or not, I do not care, but goodbye.”

As he turns towards the wall, he cannot help but feel a stab of jealousy at this latest information.

Winter goes to her room, kicking herself for being vulnerable yet again, but damnit, she needed a win. Multiple scoldings by Hongjoong lately, along with neither of her crushes giving her the time of day, has her dejected.

She decides to go into an intense isolation period, claiming it is “that time of the month” to ward off Joong and Woo and to get out of doing fieldwork.

The following day, Wooyoung broaches what Winter told him with his leader. "Sir, I have a question: is what she said true? I told her to keep her nose out of your business, but as your second in command, I feel I should know what is going on to aid however I can if needed.”

Shocked at the initiative, Hongjoong smiles, “Thank you for putting her in her place, and I agree. For Bibi's will to be done, there must be nothing but honesty between us. While I admire Miss Y/N’s tenacity, and she is fairly easy on the eyes, I would not be so foolish as to let animal instinct take over. She is merely a pawn in this game, nothing else. Both you and Winter tend to lack professionalism, so I meet up alone to speed up the process.”

Satisfied with his answer, Hongjoong excuses himself from the table and prepares to meet up with Y/N.

Wooyoung waits until Hongjoong is gone to leave for the burned shop and continue making repairs, feeling thankful yet insulted.

Huyang let you sleep in as you caught up on most of the orders yesterday. You awoke with lunch by your bed with a note that he would hang flyers and for you to take it easy today.

Naturally, you ate and paid no mind to the resting part as you wanted to fix your shop more.

About 2 miles from your shop, you see a familiar figure approaching you, but it can't be... it is Wooyoung!

Sadly, there is nowhere to hide from him, so you continue strutting in his direction, acting like his presence is unnoticed.

The moment he gets close to you, anxiety radiates off of him as he tries to make small talk and turns around to walk with you. “What are you doing in the middle of nowhere alone? That is dangerous.” He says.

You scoff, “Since when does the Sith care about the life of a lowly sabersmith? And I can handle myself, thank you very much. The better question is, what are you doing out here? Miss me already?.”

Silence and a heated smirk are all you are met with until you trip him and hold your lilac-hued saber to his throat, “Did you fuck with my shop more? I swear I will slit your throat right now, and you will not like it..”

Attempting to scooch away on his back, he pleads with you, “NO, no, I swear, I did not mess up your shop. I was just.. uh... scouting the area to make sure no defectors from the Sith were in hiding.”

Mainly convinced by his story, you sheath your saber and help him to his feet. He nods and says he has to be on his way but decides not to tell you that Hongjoong is on his way to meet up with you.

It is childish, he admits, but something in him likes that he got to see you today, and Joong did not.

You feel played as soon as you step into your shop; he most definitely fucked with your shop but in a positive way.

It is even cleaner than last time, and repairs are obviously underway. You pin that for the next time you see him and try to focus on the work ahead.

Wooyoung returns to headquarters to hear the sound of things being thrown and screaming; he rushes inside, worried they are under attack, only to find Hongjoong as the source of the cacophony.

Hearing the door close, Joong pauses and half turns around with a crazed look while grinning like a rabid dog. Seeing it is Wooyoung, he starts venting, "Can you believe it? She has the nerve to not respond to my attempts at communication and then stand me up at her own shop?! Does she not realize how much I could fuck up or enhance her life depending on how she plays my game? How could she not want to see me? I am charming, handsome, mysterious; everything a spunky bitch like her would want. That is fine. I will show her what happens when you reject the mighty Hongjoong!”

Before Woo can react, Joong storms into his chambers to plot against Y/N. Just a pawn...sure, Wooyoung thinks to himself.

Wanting to test his newly fixed saber, he heads to the practice room to self-spar. Engrossed in the improvements you made and the scenarios played by the holograms for practice, he only notices Winter watching from the doorway when he trips over his foot and falls.

For once, she is calm as he asks, “H-how long have you been standing there?!” “Oh, only a few minutes, but that’s all I needed to bring you down,” she replies.

Confusion colors his features, “What in the galaxy are you talking about now? How and why would you want to bring me down?”.

She saunters over and stands over him, displaying a newfound dominant aura. “Oh, now you are the naïve one, it seems. Firstly, a girl can only take so much rejection before she snaps and turns on those she once wanted most. Secondly, there is only one smith around here whose trademark is white kyber crystals. You are as good as dead once Joong finds out you lied to him about where you got it fixed.”

Panic evident in his eyes, Woo quickly defends, "Okay, true, that trademark is well known amongst the customers of Y/N, but that does not mean she has a monopoly on them; plenty of other shops have them in stock from time to time. Also, how are you still so childish? Oh noooo, I don’t return your crush, so you are going to vaguely threaten me? Geez, go to counseling or get laid, shit.”

Winter is semi-convinced, so she stays to practice for a bit. Meanwhile, Wooyoung exits to wash off the near-death experience and plans a trip to warn you about a potential second attack from Winter.

After Wooyoung bathes, he heads to your shop, praying Joong does not cross his path. He arrives about the same time as you, and being too tired to argue, you let him in while you hydrate and catch your breath from all the manual labor you just did.

As you rest, he warns you, “Look, Winter saw me sparring with my saber. Great work, by the way! Anyway, now it is seen as betraying the Sith by going to you. You could be in a lot of danger, and while I can’t directly protect you, I can give you a heads up at least."

Furrowing your brows, your only response is, “Why would you, though?” He deeply exhales, “ I don't even know, okay, but there is your warning. Have a good day.”

Confused and amused by his awkwardness, you say, “I will, actually. It has been productive so far, plus my efforts have finally shut down a gambling center where the money goes to the Council, so I am happy! Plus, I have even more followers of my cause!”

Turning away, he grins, happy to see you reach your goals, but that smile fades rapidly as you say, “By the way, I know you were the one who has been helping with my damaged shop. Thanks.”

He leaves since he does not know how to respond or why his motivation has been pro-you and anti-mission lately, but not without quipping, “I mean, why would I help you? But if you want to reward me for this supposed aid, you can give my biological saber lip service next time, doll.”

As he leaves with a wink, you are annoyed, not by him for once, but with yourself. That kind of remark usually elicits nausea and a desire to kill every man.

This time, you just giggle once he leaves and feel your entire body heat up at the thought. Yep, you are screwed.

The next day, after you both have very intense sexual dreams about each other, you decide to go to Tatooine. His reason is simply to attempt to distract his brain, while yours is to check on your small shop.

It is a request-only shop as it is the least trafficked area for you, but with recent events, you might as well check in while you collect more kyber crystals.

As you are about to leave, you get a surprise visit from Hongjoong; shocked and perturbed, you politely excuse yourself; "Terribly sorry, but I was just on my way out; you can come back tomorrow, though, if you'd like.” He does not like that at all and backs you into your workbench.

Displaying a devilish, darkened gaze of determination, he states, “Oh, you foolish girl. I do not want to make the trip tomorrow. I am here now, and I want you. Do you know how much business I could get you? I would even share what I collect from the Sith citizens from ‘taxes,’ aka my fun fund. Stop fighting this attraction. It’s just me, not like I am the big bad wolf darling, though I would love to eat you,” he states, smirking a couple of inches from your lips.

With his eyes closed, you take the opportunity to hit him in the head with one of your tools and run out, hopping on your speeder and quickly zooming away with tears in your eyes.

You are reeling from the encounter and frustrated that your heart wants to flee to Woo for comfort.

With Hongjoong yelling at you that nobody is ever going to love you if you do not let them in or just be grateful that a god like him designed to give you his attention, you decide against walking into the lion’s den; you stay the course to Tatooine ignoring your yearning for comfort.

After a while, you head to the local cantina to grab something refreshing to drink since you have been in the sun crystal mining for 3 hours now.

En route, you notice people fighting and pay no mind, believing it to just be a couple of drunkards squabbling over the bill. Until you get closer, that is, and find that the fighters are Wooyoung and Hongjoong!

Staying a safe distance away yet being able to hear every word of their conversation makes you worried. Yet, you know it would be foolish to get in the middle, so you stand there paralyzed.

It seems that your rejection led Joong to the desert looking for a hook-up at the bar, where he ran into Woo and immediately went on the offensive.

Hongjoong is slurring at Woo, “Why did you go to that bitch for your saber? You know she is mine! Now, you ruin my attempts to get rid of the blue balls she gave me earlier? You are dead, apprentice.”

Wooyoung retorts between defending Joong’s strikes. “First off, she is not a bitch, and she was the closest sabersmith. Secondly, blue balls are not a thing, and you would not be looking for a drunken desperate cunt to sink into if she had initiated it, so stop lying to yourself and to me.”

Hongjoong looks victorious, “HA, so you admit going to her! For once, Winter was the good pupil. Maybe I will send the signal for her to attack Y/N while you are busy here..since you cannot even kill her like you were ordered."

Too worried about you, Woo freezes for a split second, which is enough for Joong to pull out his dagger and slice Wooyoung’s right cheek and left shoulder.

Right after, Joong hears a speeder and does not want witnesses, so he runs away; thank goodness your idea worked.

Helping Wooyoung onto your speeder, you head to your shop. It is not an ideal reason to head over there, but you were already planning on checking on it, so oh well.

Upon arrival, you help support him off the bike as he got beat up quite a beat; laying him on the bed in the back of the shop, you start taking off his robe to assess the wound.

Always a smartass, he smirks, and then he is screeching for dear life. He stares at your attempt at stifling a laugh, "Hey, don’t look so pleased.” You snort, “Sorry, just nice to see you are human sometimes.”

He pouts and turns away, forgetting his cheek is sliced too, so he turns back, defeated, towards you while you tend to his wounds and wrap up his shoulder.

You hate to admit it, but damn, his body looks even better than you thought; no, you scold yourself, not the place or time.

You change the subject, "So why can't you kill me? Or was he drunk?". Still on edge, he barks, "I don't even know, okay?! I warn you; I fix your shop secretly; I duel my master to defend your honor. It is all worth it, but-“

You interrupt. “You don't need to get hurt for me, though, idiot.” He grins. “I know I don’t have to, but I do, and I’m not sure why, but I want to help your cause and think it’s a great thing you’re doing and-“

This time, you interrupt him with a kiss that immediately gets returned. Pulling away, you apologize, “Sorry, but I had to stop your nonsense. I think I know why you do the things you do. It’s the same reason I helped you today, and don’t mind your drop-ins as much as I let on.”

He raises an eyebrow, asking why, to which you lean in close to him again and whisper in his ear, “Because we want each other badly but are scared of being that close and getting hurt.”

Sitting up, you blush. “I mean, maybe it’s just me, but it feels like we are very similar and fated in a way; just tell me if I –“

He stops you with a hungry kiss, supporting himself with his good arm, cradling the back of your head with his left hand as his tongue explores your mouth.

Your boldness peeks through as you lightly suck his tongue and let your hands gently trail down his abs and palm his covered, very strained bulge.

He groans into your mouth as he snakes his hand under your tunic and palms your voluptuous breasts in response, rolling your hardening nipples between his fingers.

This does not last long before his skilled tongue is swirling the buds and sucking on your tits, bringing you to ecstasy quicker than expected.

Sitting up as much as he can, you remove the rest of both of your clothes and straddle him, both of your sweat mixing in an intoxicating concoction of desire and safety in each other as your hands roam all over each other, passionately making out and making up for lost time.

You feel him grow beneath you, and with remarkable quickness, you shimmy down and lick the slit of his leaking tip for a moment or two before engulfing his thickness down your throat with ease earning you a nonverbal good job on the cheek with his veiny hands.

As he approaches his climax, he pulls you up by your hair, your lips releasing him with a pop and gestures for you to kiss him.

He gazes hungrily into your eyes, “I need to be inside of you, Y/N god, like right now.” You look sideways and reveal, “I want that too, but I, um, well... you would be my first. Can we go slow?"

His energy softens as he caresses your face, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Of course, baby, I simply want to be closer to you.”

Nodding, you line yourself up and sink onto him slowly. It hurts a bit at first, but you quickly adjust to the sting, and it feels sinfully good to have your aching cunt being filled by him finally.

The shop is consumed with the sound of your delicious moans and skin coming together more and more rapidly until you are about to reach your high.

Wooyoung can tell you are close to your release and reaches down to play with your clit, “C'mon love, make a mess on me, princess” At his words, your body reacts by cumming so many times you lose count.

With his help, you ride out your high for about 10 minutes as you feel his heat fill you up three times before you both slump over in exhaustive bliss.

Over the next few days, you stay in that shop talking about everything, and he officially decides to join your cause and recant his Sith ways.

You reveal that you chose his kyber crystal on purpose because you saw the light in him. He tears up and hugs you tightly, "I know it's soon, but I love you, my moth."

You kiss him, saying you love him as well, and have for a while through light sobs.

You both return to Coruscant after going to a nearby hair studio for a change of pace.

He adds blonde streaks to his black hair to remind himself of the light inside and has his old crystal fashioned into a necklace to remind him of where he has been and that he has changed.

 You, however, exchange your silver-streaked hair for more of a rust color to match the sentiment of his crystal, promising to keep each other in check and make sure no corruption enters your hearts.

Back at the Council, you, along with Somin, Jihyo, Chaewon, and Wooyoung, expose the corrupt members despite Masters Moonbyul and Jongseob trying to rationalize their actions but failing as they all get carted away to the highest security prison.

Later that day, the secretly good trio became the new faces of the Council and immediately threw a celebration for the city's people, returning all the money that had been wrongly collected.

You and Wooyoung, of course, attend in support. As you are about to steal a kiss, you notice a familiar pair of beady eyes peek behind a pillar.

But now, they are filled with pride and wonder instead of obsession. “What did you see?” Wooyoung asks; you smile and say, “Oh, an old friend, they are shy now but are doing better, I can tell, and I’m happy for them.”

He kisses you, and you lean your head on his shoulder, relishing in this beautiful life you have built for yourself and glad Huyang was right. It is true what they say: if you allow it, change will happen for the better.

[extasiswings]

As someone who never watched bones, the bones blueprint???

What is the Bones blueprint? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. So Bones is the show with one of, if not THE hetero slow burn ship of classic Fox procedural shows in the mid-2000s-early 2010s. (Pretty much every main network had at least one major procedural slow burn at a time. Fox had X-files, then Bones. ABC had Castle. CBS had NCIS and The Mentalist…you get it). So, let me set the stage with our characters:

Seeley Booth, played by David Boreanaz. Booth is an FBI Agent and former Army Ranger (with a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart and a certain amount of PTSD that he doesn’t like to discuss). Catholic. Complicated relationship with his family. More than a little repressed. Definitely needs therapy (and gets it eventually—at first when he’s required to go, and voluntarily in later seasons). Good at and devoted to his job. Single Dad who feels like he missed out on a lot of the early years of his son’s life and worries about being a good father (he asked his ex to marry him when she got pregnant, but she turned him down even though she loved him—at least early on in the series even though they aren’t together it’s discussed that they have a tendency to fall into bed not infrequently) [I swear I’m not making this up]. Anyway, you get the picture.

And behind Curtain No. 2, we have:

Temperance Brennan (Bones), played by Emily Deschanel. Brennan is a forensic anthropologist. Super smart, super scientific, doesn’t have great social skills, but definitely has the whole “perceived as cold but actually feels things very deeply” thing going on. Tragic backstory. She’s also a novelist.

So! Booth and Brennan. They work together, they’re partners, they solve murders. And, naturally, they have the whole opposites thing that works for them—she’s very book smart, he’s very street smart, she believes in facts and science and logic, he believes in intuition and gut feelings and faith, etc. etc. As is often the case with the aesthetic of the crime procedural slowburn ship, they start out sort of reluctantly working together, but eventually develop a real partnership built on trust and friendship (and love!).

Early on, she has some things in her past with her family that she asks for his help investigating so that she can get answers. There’s also a time in the second season where Brennan gets kidnapped by a serial killer and buried alive while Booth is stuck trying to find her, which in addition to still being just An Episode(™) remains one of the great, classic, early-in-the-slowburn “I almost lost you and it made me feel Some Kinda Way, but no no we’re just friends really, nothing to see here” defining arcs, especially since Brennan starts dating someone not too long after. The same serial killer returns in season four and snatches Booth that time, and then it’s Brennan’s turn to find him (with the help of Booth’s younger brother). Anyway, classic slow burn—there’s a lot of Implication that you could read into if you wanted throughout the first several seasons, but not necessarily super concrete (although they get caught under the mistletoe once), and there are several rounds of saving each other in various ways as over the years they just become closer and closer until they’re Partners(™) in every way (even when they’re dating other people).

What’s making me yell and scream today though, is: the S4 finale and S5. In the S4 finale, Booth is in a coma after having brain surgery. He has a wild coma dream where he and Brennan are married and they run a nightclub, but there still ends up being a murder—ANYWAY, irl Brennan basically spends the whole time he’s in a coma at his bedside, but then he wakes up and he has no memory of who she is. Pivot to S5, Booth remembers her again, and also feels like he might have romantic feelings for her, but (in part because of some third party commentary) questions whether they’re real or just a side-effect of the surgery. He sort of tells her anyway, but flubs it massively. Later in the season, we get Booth’s son being concerned that his dad doesn’t have a girlfriend, both Booth and Brennan separately getting relationship advice from third parties, and Brennan getting asked out by a new guy. And then! The 100th episode.

The 100th episode, which reveals the start of the series wasn’t their first case, they worked together once before and kissed and almost slept together, but hadn’t ended up going all the way. And after they’re done telling their story, Booth finally stops and kisses her and gets to give his big damn love confession, lays it all on the line, tells her he’s always known she was the one and wants to really try…and she freaks out and cries and turns him down, and he accepts it but says he has to move on. And then they both date other people before fully running away from each other for many months (Brennan on an anthropological dig, Booth back to Afghanistan for the military). (And then, when they come back, she’s ready to put on her big girl pants and give it a shot, except that he went and got a girlfriend who he seems happy with so we all get to suffer through a season of angst and pining while he proposes to someone who isn’t Brennan etc while everyone else is like “you’re still in love with her though” but they do sleep together by the end of S6 and ultimately get married and have two more kids (not in that order)).

So, yeah—the blueprint! Making me especially crazy because here we are with Buddie on a Fox procedural, 4 seasons since they really started trying it seems to make Buddie something potentially real, and Buck is heading into a coma where he's about to hallucinate another life, and the 100th episode is coming up near the beginning of next season (and I really hope Fox learned from Bones that there's such a thing as dragging out the slow burn too much and just lets them be happy after the big damn feelings reveal but XD).

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

tagged by @orc-apologist 🥰 thank u lovely lars.. i put it under a cut because I <3 Talking

three ships - i am not really actively into shipping culture but i do enjoy well written relationships :) i think there will always be a part of me that goes crazy over kyosaya in puella magi madoka magica because their relationship is just very sweet and comforting to me! bayojeanne goes without saying for me but ill say it anyway. they're INCREDIBLY funny together as well as just being an insanely good pairing in like every way you would want a fictional relationship to be 💁 and my last one would probably be shaskill. because like i said i am not really actively into shipping but they do in fact ban you on here for saying what sheogorath did to that old man

first ever ship - it was actually minto aizawa and zakuro fujiwara from tokyo mew mew LOL.. i didnt know what shipping was at the time but i used to watch bad 4kidz dubbed episodes of mew mew power and was always like omggg. if two girls could be together then Renee and Corina (ya. i know) would be soo cute together.. <- they didnt know 😂. my first actual ship when i got into ship culture as a kid was fireheart and greystripe from warrior cats!

last song - groove is in the heart by deee-lite :)

last movie - renfield 2023! i watched it with my IRL friend, it was incredible ^_^

currently reading - the dragonfly will be the messiah by masanobu fukuoka, its about ecology 💁

currently watching - DA X FILES.. i'm so bad with tv shows lol

currently consuming - diet coke mm so yummy tasty it rot my teeth 🤤🤤🤤

currently craving - to be really truthfully honest with you. nasi goreng and also a stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. FUCKKKKKKKKKKK. & also an edible and a nice fruity tea and a good cocktail and a hug that lasts longer than 5 seconds and **** *** **** * **** and a back massage and uhhhhh. Thats everything right now smiles

i will taggg.. @aheathenconceivably @globalfear @notebook-enthusiast @mozzu @emoticonal @stenchoftheunburied @luckdevil @1cassis @irlromanroy :) you dont have to do this! but if you would like to then have funn

[tunemyart]

I was tagged by @wistfulwatcher in 20 Questions for Fic Writers - thank you!! <33

How many works do you have on AO3?

47

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

408,521

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively, right now? It's Cabenson all the time. I have a crossover with Elementary in the works, if it counts? Historically: Xena: Warrior Princess, Olivia (1951), Star Trek(s touching on Voyager, Picard, and Discovery), Wicked, Once Upon a Time, Rizzoli & Isles. Waaaaay back in the day historically: A TON of Wicked, smattering of The X-Files, Battlestar: Galactica, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Stargates SG-1 and Atlantis, Doctor Who, Bones.

Oh. Also Star Wars EU as a wee child.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Presque Vu (R&I)

all the sacred boundaries we've overgrown (OUAT)

The Nature of Work Wives (R&I)

the undoing and the reweaving (XWP)

The Thing Called Future (OUAT)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah!! Posting fic is all about the positive human interaction for me! Obviously comments are life, we all know this; but also I have irl friendships that started in the comments of my fic because I responded. You never know who you're going to meet or in what capacity.

tl;dr if someone feels compelled enough by something that came directly out of my brain and my soul to engage tangibly with it - you bet I'm going to respond, barring irl complications.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm so I have been accused of being something of an angst queen, but I also like a happy ending after the angst. I think the angstiest contenders are more ambiguous, and are probably:

no one else can break my heart like you (Wicked) - because we all know what's coming in Act II

Chrysopylae (Voyager/Picard) - because I really don't think many things about Seven and Janeway's relationship can ever truly be resolved

do borg dream of individuality? (Voyager) - see above, where Janeway is starting to intuit this

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think The Thing Called Future (OUAT) is a pretty classic happy ending! So is all the sacred boundaries we've overgrown (OUAT). Both are in the right fandom for it!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been very fortunate to get very nice, genuine folks and exactly one person I'm choosing to believe was having a bad day and taking it out on me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Y-yes? I guess it depends on your definition of smut. There's sex for sure, but the focus is more on the emotions while it's happening than on graphic descriptions of what's happening or how it feels. Most of the time it's baked into the narrative and telling the story. I think I've really only written one or two PWP, and they're in XWP fandom.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really! As mentioned I've got the SVU/Elementary crossover in the works, but for the reason that time and location align so incredibly perfectly. I also had a XWP/Wonder Woman crossover I wrote on a prompt (an amazon matter) and that was a lot of fun, but probably also not crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not word for word or reposted.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but @90stvqueen and I have talked about cowriting prompts before!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oof. I feel like I should say Xena/Gabrielle here, but Gelphie is my OG (shoutout gateway lesbians!)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hahahahaha pass

16. What are your writing strengths?

This is a very reflective question! I guess I'd say emotional reflection + revision/distillation. Give me an inch I'll write you a mile, and then realize I need to revise it to something closer the inch you'll actually read or the conversation the characters would actually have.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action, movement, and description of setting. Wait, no, are they sitting/standing in some nebulous, blurry-edged space having a conversation again???? nooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm working on it, and I'm proud of what my efforts are yielding, but also: ughh

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's a nice idea, but imo it distracts so hard from the flow of reading. One or two words where the reader can figure it out in context, or where the reader probably knows what it means, is great! Adds color and flavor! Entire lines that require footnotes… personally, I'm never going to look those up.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars EU! Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade OTP!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I don't know if/when my answer is going to change from The Wide Orbit (SVU) - genuinely I think it's the best thing I've ever written. A lot of work and revision went into it and I think the final product shows it. It is precisely the story I wanted to tell in precisely the way I wanted to tell it. I just reread it and am still so delighted with it.

tagging in a no-pressure way: @chthonic-cassandra @chainofclovers @90stvqueen @cargopantsprentiss @butchcraftmacncheese @neornithes @dadrielle