#their fave past time other than working on the boat is literally just sitting on swings just to look at the sea

[nenoname]

seeing the art that likely inspired this ask and i gotta say, it'd be pretty hilarious to think that ford would give up on the stan o war just because of nausea after all the things he'd been through (and i'm pretty sure it was said that dimension hopping makes you feel super sick??? i sure hope my brain didn't just make that up outta nowhere....) and even if it did effect him a shitton, this is mr 'nutritional pills, metal plate in my head and huh maybe i should build myself bionic eyes' that really wouldn't stop him

but also it's funny to me that some assume that they're stuck on the boat only and won't go ashore (i think stan would complain more about camping than boat plumbing but we also know that stan likes camping cos they used to do it tons as kids if only that one ep idea wasnt cut huh)

I’ve been seeing a couple posts as of late where some people have been arguing that the stan twins wouldn’t spend the rest of their lives on the stan o war ll and that they’d do it for a little under a year. I’m honestly torn between the two because while one is more realistic and makes more sense, I’m also really sappy and I love the idea that they grew up by the sea and that they’d grow old by the sea.

Do you have any thoughts about it??

i really do lean towards them spending most of the rest of their lives on the boat (and even if they don't, under a year is wayyyyy too little imo) mostly because realism haunted their backstories and lives which made them miserable for so long that there's a sense of "you know what? fuck that! ford spent years being a freaking scifi hero dimensional traveller and stan punched a demon god to death! we get to choose how we live out the rest of our lives" ya know? something something ford's self written scifi greek tragedy being defied with the kids' help and that helping him be resolved in deciding how he wants to live now

there's also the comedy of stan's retirement being far chaotic than most of what he faced over the past 30 years of stubbornly avoiding most trouble and mysteries that came his way and i just want that shit to continue escalating

of course i dont think their life on the stan o war is going to be all sunshines and rainbows-- they both have extreme issues and being freed from the kids comedy coming of age genre means they're probably going to get into more grim trouble (not helped bill's "still on your mind" being directed at stan...)

but from what we see from the ending and that stan o war comic page they seem really happy and used to that life now

(but also i have a bias for a certain ending cos of this comic lmao)

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.

[evangclines-blog1]

what  if  we  ......  pretended  this  was  a  good  intro  .....  aha  just  kidding  .....  unless  ?  i  was  just  gonna  link  to  all  my  stuff  but  ...  ur  girl  wrote  a  lot  and  i  don’t  wanna  be  cruel  and  force  u  all  to  read  everything  JDBWBDJBWJ  so  here we  go  !!   <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.   

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3 

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY:  suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after 

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away 

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !! 

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3 

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced. 

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

 goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

 moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management. 

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense. 

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3 

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear. 

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number 

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3 

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions. 

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting 

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it 

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company 

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately 

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time... 

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

[blakegallo]

Is this shade about Kevin's love life? Please say yes because I cant believe bitches out here acting like Joaquin gonna show up and save Kevin from Moose.

at this point i’m not ruling joaquin showing up. if clifford had a long lost twin i’m not going to say that joaquin doesn’t have a brother named juan or jose or jeremiah or some other shit that could show up. riverdale loves to pull from soap operas for their plotlines. so far nothing has been too crazy for this show?

my real issue is this retroactive thinking that kevin/joaquin had this really epic love story? that was based on any kind of like… communication? 

but i think that my issue is i fundementally view kevin keller differently than the rest of the fandom? kevin is a fucking slut. like. even before the season 2 scene with him cruising in fox forest season 1 established him as a person that enjoys casual sex. and good for him. i’m all for conventionally attractive white boys out here living their best lives on television.

that said, let’s go back to kev + joaquin. the first night they meet kev only approaches joaquin because joaquin is giving him them “you dtf” eyes… like. that’s it. let’s continue with season one, casey isn’t a series regular so he doesn’t have a lot of play. after 1.04 the next big kev + joaquin scene is at jug’s birthday in 1.10, where again they’re seen making out and kev asking about hooking up. in this episode we also see that fp told joaquin to use kev to keep tabs on where tom was with the investigation.

all of that is fine, all of this development is perfectly normal for this kind of murder mystery plot. i don’t take any issue with this storytelling. like it is what it is. 

after this though in the next two episodes we see that kev is upset that joaquin was using him. it blows up and kev + the core four use this revelation to get joaquin to tell him what he knows about jason’s death and that eventually leads to joaquin leaving riverdale. so of the twelve episodes of season one that joaquin was around in, their relationship was not a large focus of either of their storylines, the bulk of their time spent together was them kissing and when they weren’t kissing joaquin was using kev. and kev + joaquin were obviously never given the time to develop anything past this, and in the two subsequent seasons when joaquin has made an appearance we never get to see him and kev work through what was obviously an issue for kevin.

i will also take this time to say that joaquin as a character has never been serviced by the plot. this isn’t the first time i’ve talked about any of this, and ever time i have i’ve said that joaquin desantos was ras favorite plot device. he was only ever inserted into the plot when it was convenient to the narrative.

we literally know nothing about jaoquin desantos other than he’s a southside serpent…. correct me if i’m wrong, but like, dude was never a character.

now let’s talk about kev + moose. yes, they started off highly sexual. and you know what if moose flashed his horse dick at me in the winter formal bathroom i would have taken his ass to sweet water river too? the fuck??? 

again we don’t really know much about moose other than he’s a closeted bisexual football player? so like, you could argue he’s a plot device too, i’m not gonna stop you from doing that.

i’m also not going to say that you shouldn’t be upset that ras decided to fridge midge to make this ship happen. and i’m not going to sit here as someone that loves moose + kevin that that was a good idea or plan. because obviously it wasn’t? like it doesn’t take a genius to see that. 

but this thing where people hold midge dying against moose and vilifying him because he’s with kevin now? like stop. midge dying is in no way moose’s fault, and given the fact that the last time midge was in danger he acted like a human shield and took all of the bullets like… maybe let’s stop acting like moose didn’t care about midge and has only ever wanted to fuck kevin? i’m not arguing that moose was faithful bc we know he wasn’t, but i think that the canon evidence of moose caring about her is there. and yeah he might have cared but that doesn’t mean he was a good boyfriend and if midge were still around i would want her to leave him and be with someone that was y’know actually a good boyfriend? but we don’t get to live in that world and so what we have is a dead midge that deserved better, and now that she is dead i think that soem people upset that moose would move on is so wild? the writing on this show is terrible, but that aside it’s not really your place to tell someone how long they should be grieving for the death of their partner?

even if moose were the most faithful and he wasn’t trying to fuck kev or make out with cheryl, it’s not your place to tell someone that they should still be broken up over the death of their girlfriend? i feel like that’s stepping over a line a little and just reeks of entitlement? you don’t have to agree with moose moving on, but to hold the fact that he has moved on against him is wild?  

we’ve known that moose and midge were dating literally since the pilot. i’m pretty sure kev name drops midge when he’s talking to veronica that first day at lunch. 

and i don’t say any of this to justify moose as a cheater. like. pass.

but moose being a cheater is literally just part of his of character at this point. like he was full on making out with cheryl at jug’s birthday party so excuse me if the cheater is equal opportunity. he’s not surprising anyone? 

all of that brings us to where we are currently. where i’m still here for kev + moose because i’ve been with them since the pilot and their journey to getting together has been a hot ass mess… but you know the gays on this show are all in that boat? only archie seems to get to have really nice and and lowkey carefully crafted love interests. grundy + farm lady aside.

my issue with all of the lgbt characters that riverdale has introduces is fundementally the same though, none of them seem to ever get to have a storyline that isn’t solely about their significant other. yes, the core four have had their share of relationship drama, but they also get moments that the other five don’t?

neither one of these relationships started in a good place and only one of them has ever been given the opportunity to talk. kev + moose had the hospital scene [ which is hands down my fave thing that riverdale has ever done ] and the diner w/ midge. none of these characters have ever really been made central enough to the main plot  [ again kev + joaquin were loosely important to the finale of season 1, but eh… ] let alone important enough to the writers to be given the development that they need. so comparing the ships to me really is apples and oranges because neither was given a solid foundation and even though kev + moose is “flourishing” is it tho? 

it really does do a disservice to both ships in my opinion to keep trying to compare them and act as though one of them is superior? 

at the end of the day people can ship whatever they want to ship and support what they want to support. but like, you’re not any better than someone who ships the other?????

but also leave my trash son moose alone. he’s already been shot repeatedly he doesn’t need you dragging him for being trash.

[universetwo]

My Experience at #BeautifulinNY + Tips

So let me start with the fact that this was my very first time to go on a k-pop concert and I was so nervous, hard to explain why. I tried to read people’s experiences from previous concerts, but that didn’t calm my nervousness. 

{long post ahead}

Unfortunately, I do not own a lightstick, so that made me a little bit sad. I could have pre-ordered it (to pick it up at the venue) or buy it there because they set up a table for merch. But I found it kinda expensive for $55 so for this time I gave up on it. One thing to note, it’s better if you order it before the concert (which I wanted to but was sold out on their site) because everything is more expensive at the venue. Like I legit bought a pack of stickers for $25 which was a lot, I know, but that was the only thing left by the end of the concert and I didn’t want to walk out without an official merch. (the fangirl was strong in me post concert)

Anyway, back to the beginning.

I left work at 1 pm and when I got home I got ready and waited for my mom to come home from work. I started to panic about not getting there on time so I decided to watch Monsta X Ray’s new ep while eating ramen, only for Wonho lol While I was watching them on my screen, it was still hard to process in my mind that I will see these guys in a few hours perform right in front of my own naked eyes. 

I saw on Twitter that people were already lining up by the venue and I was seriously freaking out. Although my ticket was for P3-P5 (somewhere in the back lol) and I knew I have an exact seat and everything, I was still worried that I’m going to miss something.

So it was almost 6 pm when we left the house and got on the D train (which I hate because it always fucks me up). We got off by Bryant Park/42nd st around 6:45-ish and went to Playstation Theatre at Times Square. There were so many people so I didn’t see at first where the line was for the venue. But then by the entrance, I saw some people standing there but the security came and put us in the right direction for the line. Good thing to know, Playstation Theatre is located on 44th st and 7th ave and the security told us to go to 45th street and 8th ave. So we followed the line and looked for the end. BUT WHERE WAS THE END??? like legit almost at the other side of the whole block, like I don’t even know how to explain it but it was damn long. And people were still lining up after us so it became even longer.

We had to wait for one and a half hour to get into the venue and by then it was way past 8 pm, which was supposedly the starting time of the show. I had no idea why it was delayed, why the line went so slowly, and I don’t think anyone around me knew it. But later on twitter, I read fans saying that a fan got injured in the line and that’s why. Which is actually a nice thing that they took care of the fan and didn’t ignore the injury. I didn’t mind standing in line for long because at least I got the chance to buy a fanmade cute Kihyun cut out that I could hang on my neck. I would have bought Jooheon’s too but it was all gone TT but I love that thingy so much like I hung it up on my neck even for breakfast the next day. And I also got a banner for free, which was handed out to everyone and it said “I’ll protect you, so you can bloom more beautifully” in English and in Korean (Beautiful lyrics) and I loved how the directions were on the back, like when do we need to hold it up and in English, Spanish, French, and Korean. We held up ours at 5:14 (Last Page), the very last song.

So fast forward to when we finally got into the venue, it wasn’t actually long after that they came out and boy the screams were so loud but of course I joined in. (I had no voice by the end and even now while writing this my throat still hurts). The setlist was pretty much the same as in Chicago so I won’t be going over that.

After Hero ended they greeted us and they had an “official” translator who was pretty quick with translating hopefully everything that they said. I have to just say I can’t get enough of Changkyun’s English, I really love it lol 

They interacted a lot with the crowd like they were always like ‘are you having fun’, ‘did you like what we just did?’ and I think those were really good for hyping up the crowd. They also did like small comedy bits like who is the most romantic and they showed, sang something to prove their romantic sides. They also sang snippets from songs that have New York in it like Kihyun sang a bit from Empire State of Mind. Hyunwoo from English Man in New York. Also Wonho mentioned that Hyunwoo is a romantic person because he buys his friends in Korea all different types of presents. I got to experience Jooheon’s and Kihyun’s beatboxing lol Jooheon also sang from GD’s Untitled. 

They talked SO much about Hyungwon and I really loved that. At the beginning and at the end they mentioned him too, and Wonho after they did their special stages and how he hoped he could fill in for Hyungwon. It made me feel really warm especially as I saw how many times they left a special space out for Hyungwon and sometimes acted as if he was there too.

The performances were SO L I T, they were dancing so well and so powerfully and the energy was no joke. But then they were also able to slow it down and make the crowd melt with songs like Ex Girl, Honestly, I’ll Be There, and Sweetheart. I like how one time Changkyun was like we gonna slow down to mid tempo and they literally sang their slowest song, Broken Heart. And then Kihyun’s iconic mom moment to Changkyun with ‘There is something on your face’ and started to get something off from his face. And Kihyun wiped the sweat off from Wonho (K I H O) They also mentioned like twice for the pit to take a few steps back for safety. That’s how Hyunwoo’s ‘please safety’ was born. (did I mention how much I started to love Hyunwoo after the show? Like literally he was one of the highlights of the concert.)

I also loved their outfits, especially when they went for this mint theme. And then for the rocker versions of songs, like there is nothing better than rocker!kihyun and his leather jacket. 

Their special stages were no joke. When Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, and Changkyun performed 24k Magic, the whole crowd was excited because it’s everyone’s fave song don’t lie. Wonho performing From 0 with their dancer was great, but I missed Hyungwon. Especially that ionic movement in the dance was weird with the dancer and not with Hyungwon lol but it was still great and Wonho put his heart into fully. 

But my favorite was definitely Mirror by Jooheon and Kihyun. When Jooheon was having sort of his highest point in the rap parts, I legit got goosebumps. He is such an amazing rapper, I was truly speechless. But then Kihyun’s powerful voice added even more to it, and that performance really left me amazed. I knew I have the right biases. THESE TWO LOVES OF MY LIFE DESTROYED ME. 

They also had some problem with moving the chair like lol one problem was that they were sitting on it (during the slower songs) so no surprise but I think it also got stuck in something. Which reminds me of… WHY STUCK WASN'T ON THE SETLIST? It’s like legit one of my biggest faves from them, but they performed Blind and it was sexy and I was close to passing out. 

Their vcrs were cute and creative. First they had one before the unit performances where they talked about what they prepared. I couldn’t see the screen well but there were English subtitles and I could kind of read it, so that was helpful. They were being dorky and I love nothing more than that haha. The other one was a bit more emotional because they were showing a mature side of them and a whole story. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down, I definitely have to watch it again. But it was emotional, that’s for sure, and it showed how important it is for them to be together and stick with each other.  

Also Wonho the dear clumsy one accidentally spilled his candies from the basket to the stage and he was throwing them to fans from the floor. Jooheon was also there picking all up probably until the very last one was thrown to a fan, and he even bent down for them while singing his part in Sweetheart. One thing is that his voice was stable lol but even my mom mentioned it that how considerate of him was to not let them go to waste and make sure fans can have them. (side note, after Hyunwoo and Wonho, my mom’s new fave, she even said almost #1, became Jooheon lol we are in the same boat now)  

It also took them forever to come back for the encore. I thought they are going to leave us so we had to chant Monsta X two times and we even started to chant Hyungwon :’) but then they finally came back and it was better waiting for longer because it was more precious to see them again. It took them longer because they changed into another outfit. And then they performed Fighter (L I T) and 5:14 (Last Page) (S A D). It took them so long to say goodbye because they shared their thoughts again, we had a picture taken, and then they bowed like four times from four different directions (while dragging each other hand by hand from one side of the stage to the other) Even my mom said that it looked as it was hard for them to say goodbye. Trust me, I didn’t want to say goodbye either. 2 hours was enough and I was exhausted, yet it still feels like it went by so fast.

But I happened to fall in love with them once again. They are so humble, down to earth, but then SO SO SOOO talented and powerful and energetic and funny and know how to hype up the crowd. I’m so happy that they were my first group for my kpop concert experience because I wasn’t disappointed at all. And I love them so much pls give more love and appreciation to Monsta X, they deserve the world. 

Here are some concert tips:

it’s okay if you don’t own a lightstick and can’t afford to buy merch, you are still a true fan ^^

don’t worry if you can’t get to the venue early, if you are not in the pit then it doesn’t matter when you enter the venue, just try to be there at least around the time when the doors open and have time for yourself to use the bathroom, eat, and look through the merch they have

BUT if you are in a big city and you rely on public transportation then it’s good to get out of your house early because you never know when they will get into a problem, same with cars and traffic

if you have time, prepare with the fan chants because it always makes it better for the crowd and for the idols

try to know more info about fan projects and freebies or even fan made merch for a couple of dollars — it’s always good to be up to date and to support fellow fans, I told my mom I would rather buy from a fan a few handmade cutesy stuff while supporting that fan than buying a bunch of expensive merch at the venue, I mean it’s everyone’s different opinion but I always have the chance to support the boys, but not always have the chance to support fans

wear something comfortable on foot and prepare for standing up for the whole concert even if you have a seat (i was standing the whole time too)

bring a smaller bag, preferably not a big backpack, a small one is fine

prepare to be either very cold or very hot: like when I went to see 5SOS I was feeling cold in MSG but in Playstation Theatre there was legit no AC (idk how the boys could handle it TT) and I was burning up

if you have a shitty android like me and not an iPhone with a great camera, that’s okay if you record at least their voices are still good on the recording especially if you catch the ment part, otherwise songs with heavy bass and techno sound won’t be that good

a lot of people say this but it’s true: try to enjoy the concert and not record the whole thing — it won’t be that good anyway on your phone as if you see it with your own eyes, that’s why I decided for some of my fave songs to record maybe like 30 seconds or something and then I put my phone away and for the ment I really wanted to record their talk but even then I was just holding my phone but not really focusing on the stage through it

try to socialize (this is a big tip for myself too), concerts are great to befriend people with the same interest and likes as you, I did talk to some people but it’s not like I befriended them because I’m a social flopp and my mom was there with me too so I was just talking to her

if you have no idea about kpop concerts, like me, then know that hi-touch is after the show (at least that’s how it was) and the security makes everyone leave who doesn’t have a wrist band for the event, but they still let you take a few pics of the venue and of the stage, just hurry up because if it takes more time for them to push people out then the hi-touch is delayed and it’s bad for the fans and for the boys too

Specifically for Playstation Theatre:

The venue is small so be ready to feel a little crowded

but the good thing is that even if the stage is far (if you have a seat like in P5) it’s not as far as in a stadium

if you are in P5, don’t expect to see the screen, Playstation Theatre has a couple of small TVs hung up above people and they are just in the way to see the screen

I was legit so mad I wanted to tear all of them out from the ceiling like you think they might show them on those small TVs too but NOPE I guess they never thought about advanced technology and multi screening

There is a place for you to give your coats in

the restroom is pretty lol it kind of reminded me of Harry Potter because all the sinks are placed in the middle of the room and I felt like we can get down to the  Chamber of Secrets in New York, besides they also blasted Shine Forever (when they give you nice background music for peeing lmao)

So that’s it from my part, I hope I could cover everything important but even if I was there I couldn’t process everything because it was so fast and I was so happy and living in the moment. I’m definitely going to watch back some videos and be nostalgic about it lol I’m also waiting for the HQ version of THIS pic which was taken there by wonderful fansite-nim, I thank you with my life

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask ^^

btw, at the beginning of the concert while we were lining up on the street, a random old lady asked us if it’s worth lining up for this long for the concert and hell yeah it was so I think that once in your life you deserve to see your faves and to not care about how much it costs. It was great for not thinking about life’s problems for two hours and just to enjoy the moment. So please be kind to yourselves. 

[midyearflowers]

Not to be scary but I want to know everything abt ur cat

honestly ive done this to so many people it was only a matter of time before someone told me to answer every question so its cool lol

1. Name?: ive got 2 but ill use Smokey for this since i hand picked him as a kitten2. Fur color?: grey with a white patch on his chest, mouth, and feet like little socks. some patches actually turn brown in the sun and when he was a kitten he had stripes3. Any family you know (other than you)?: i met both his parents and he has two siblings however we only have him. and my other cat Princess is his reluctant roommate4. Age?: hes a grandpa now at like 13/145. Favorite toy?: we have these plastic cage balls with tiny bells in them and he absolutely loses his mind when he hears it6. Nicknames?: dumbass, weiner, goober, smoters, buddy, dumb butt, poop machine, my boi, the list goes on man7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: problematic fave for sure. hes a little shit. but i would also die for him8. Length of fluff?: i guess he would be a medium length9. Any funny habits?: literally everything he does. he makes this adorable little noise thats basically the “???” noise and when he drinks out of the toilet he stands on his hind legs and daintily dips his head down. he also looks like a galloping horse when he runs and his tail does this weird curve10. How old were they when you met?: i hand picked him as a kitten when i was like 1111. What does their food bowl look like?: a fuckin mess cause hes a slob. its shallow cause if we put too much food he eats until he throws up, thus the dumbass nickname12. Indoor or outdoor cat?: indoor for the same reason as Princess13. Recent picture?: boop and boop14. Old picture?: precious baby15. Cuddly?: oh hell yes he loves to snuggle up in your lap or on your chest. he would sleep hanging over my dads shoulder as a kitten and loves to be in contact with you16. Ever changed their name?: no i gave them the most stereotypical name since i was 11 and kept it18. Eye color?: a pretty emerald green with a tiny little brown speck in the right one19. How do they express love for you?: hes always licking me. every inch of skin. and he sounds like a motor boat when he snuggles up20. How do you express love for them?: i smother him with kisses and give him the chin scitchies he loves21. Any theories on what breed?: no idea. i honestly dont know much about cat breeds. they are just.. cats22. Do they ever wake you up?: GOD YES every single goddamn morning he is in my face licking me and pawing me cause he wants food23. How much do they meow?: he never used to be very vocal, only making that “???” noise but he meows more now. mostly when hes curious about something and not getting answers or when we come home24. Any hiding spots?: if he can get under it he will be there. the bed, the table, your chair, the china cabinet, you name it25. Do they enjoy guests?: yes and no. hes pretty friendly if theres only one person and theyre quiet but the moment my cousins step in he is gone26. Lofty objects to sit on?: loves to sit on desks and the backs of couches/chairs. we put the ottoman by the window so he can sit there too27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?): no collar cause they never leave the apartment28. How much shedding?: lots. not as much as Princess and ive managed to clean him up a bit but man for a while there i wanted to fucking shave him29. Do they enjoy brushing?: yes though he is always trying to rub his face on the brush and will not sit still30. Ever drink from the toilet?: yea and he looks so silly doing it31. How do they get your attention?: stares at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, sometimes he meows, most of the time he licks himself cause i hate when they do that right beside me32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?: i once saw him trip up the stairs cartoon style, back legs went up over his head and i could practically hear the sound effect33. Weirdest thing they try to eat?: cat eats his own fucking vomit man. he is a vile creature who will eat just about anything34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?: he is my boi, my son, my precious companion35. What time do they eat breakfast?: before we leave for work so usually 7:30-8ish36. Do you cut their nails?: yes tho he doesnt like it one bit37. Do you think they understand you?: hes done things in the past that suggest he can tell when i need comfort but other than that hes an idiot38. Ever make fun of them?: literally all the time. im doing it right now39. Do you take their picture often?: my computer is filled with cat pictures like you have no idea40. Ever hiss at you?: not that i recall41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?: he goes for the bite all the time but im so used to it i dont care42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?: pulls away or tries to lick my hand43. Do they ever eat bugs?: he has a few times if it ended up on the floor. but mostly he just likes to stare at it44. Canned or dry food?: dry food. god help me if he only wanted wet45. Weight?: we used to make fun of him for being fat but honestly he has always been lean and solid. hes mostly heavy cause of his size and build.46. Ever got lost?: not lost per se but there was one instance where he somehow got out  of the house without anyone noticing (back when he was with my dad) and suddenly he was just in the window panting from being out and about. im so glad he came back cause we never would have known otherwise47. Do you buy them presents?: not really. we have so many toys as it is48. Do they respond when you call?: most times. if hes hyper and i over the top call him over he comes bolting49. Do they ever see other cats?: he grew up with two cats, one old female and the other a male around his age. now he lives with Princess50. Declawed?: unfortunately yes. i was too young to have any say and it was a long time ago51. Funniest expression?: his wide eyed empty stare52. Favorite place to be pet?: he likes chin and butt scritchies and will always move his head to meet your hand53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed?: nothing really comes to mind but he has ruined some plants by eating them and then the carpet when he threw them back up54. Give them a head kiss.: absolutely55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?: i dont think he can tell the difference56. Are they good at hunting real prey?: i doubt it. hes a little too hyper for his own good57. Do they ever attack nothing?: sometimes yea58. What are they doing right now?: no idea cause hes in the other room. probably cuddling with my mom59. How long have you had them?: his whole life so about 13/14 years60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?: honestly he still acts like one so the only difference is the size. but i like him as an adult. more to cuddle61. Ever baby-talk to them?: all the time. certain nicknames i will say in a baby voice62. Favorite napping position?: he likes to curl into a ball and turn his head upside down63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?: yes :(64. Ever tripped you on stairs?: not on the stairs but just about everywhere else cause hes so damn fast65. Any ear hair?: i think? idk i dont really look in his ears66. Favorite view from a window?: he likes to watch birds and cars67. Describe why they are precious.: he has been my baby for so long and i picked him myself and i can tell he is happy with me68. Fit the cat stereotype?: practically to a T69. Chaotic neutral?: chaotic chaotic more like it70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?: yes he follows me around if im home alone and wandering from room to room thinking out loud71. Are you their favorite human?: i like to think so72. Do they like tv?: not so much recently but we used to leave the aquarium channel on for him73. Favorite noise to make?: his “???” noise makes my heart make a “!!!” noise74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?: a string with a bell on the end

thanks for the questions!

[dreadhaus-literature]

{A/N}

I~ truthfully don’t know why I came to write. I’ve just been kinda doing my own thing tonight, gave myself a manicure (would have done a pedicure too but it’s cold and I have sockies on) and otherwise was messing about in my closet. Having one of those rare restless moods where I don’t really want to do anything, but y’all know me. I can’t not do something.

So here I am. Doing something.

Uh, well first I suppose I oughta address I hyped up coming out of hiatus today and then, lmao, didn’t. I opened a document to write initially but I just wasn’t feeling FL was connected, so I went to talk to Monica about how things are going. No sense beating a dead horse, we all know what goes with FL and why stuff gets the way it does. So at this point, I’ve just set my pen down until I’m told to pick it up again. Not going to put the blog in hiatus, just don’t expect regular updates anymore, I guess? I’m finding I get discouraged trying to do this alone, so if I can’t do it with my partner, I won’t be doing it at all--and that’s coming from a place of support.

FL isn’t FL without Monica, nor should it be.

I’ll give it a few months and if things keep stagnating or I haven’t gotten a chance to write for FL anymore, I’ll take a look at other stuff to write. I don’t want to not write through 2019 like I did the past three years, I meant what I said at the start of the year.

My whole inspiration for what was going to be today’s prompt was Carol, actually--because I watched the red carpet premiere for Captain Marvel earlier tonight when it was live. Haha, I cried three fucking times. Three! First time was watching everyone SO hype for Carol, like the little girl in me could not handle seeing so many people so excited about someone I’ve loved since I was a kid. I’ve said it before, several times, but I never thought I’d get to see Carol on the big screen. Now, I get so excited I cry, lmao.

The second time I cried was when the youngest actress (who plays Carol as a little girl) was doing an interview and she said how important and special the movie was for her--again, the little girl in me could relate plus Mama Bear was all aflutter at seeing this little angel talk about how excited she was to see another female superhero get her own movie. I remember she said something, “Now every little girl in the world knows she’s special!”

Sweet Christ I’m about to get teary again remembering that. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOVIE. 😤

...And I cried when Brie came out, lmao. I was not ready. She wore a dress full of sunbursts/stars, for Carol’s insignia. 💖💖💖

I could not handle that, like one of Brie’s first lines during her red carpet interview was that Carol changed her life, and my heart about shattered. You can tell Brie is proud to play Carol, and she worked her ass off to be able to do so--and I have so much respect for actors who commit to these roles like that. These characters mean the world to me and I love when the actor who plays them takes that seriously. You can tell, listening to Brie, she does. It was genuine, and I have renewed respect for her and I sincerely hope she knows how much support she has for this movie, despite all the fuckhead trolls out there.

So yeah, I cried for like, an hour? Haha, no, that’s an exaggeration and even if it wasn’t, it was all happy tears. I’m just so excited about this movie and to be somewhere I never thought I’d be. It isn’t to diminish, like, Tony or Peter or Logan but I always knew there’d be Iron Man or Spider-Man or X-Men movies--but there are others, like Thor or T’Challa or Carol, who I never anticipated seeing on the big screen and it’s so huge to be here.

I’m so grateful that we are here.

I’ve kinda just been all over the comicverse today, actually, looking at stuff--well, haha, in the two biggest backyards, rather. I only really stray outside of Marvel and DC to visit Anung & Co, but y’all know me. I’ve got my faves and I stick to my familiars--which up until very recently just included Marvel, lmao. But DC’s in there now, obviously, so I do wander about there from time to time. I feel like I visit a new school or some shit every time I do this, because I recognize some folks now but I run into others and I’m just like, yeah, i have no fucking idea who you are, haha. My DC coloring book came and it was vastly different from flipping through my Marvel book; I could name every single person for my Marvel book but I think I can count on my fingers and toes the DC folks I know. BUT I AM TRYING. Haha, I am learning, and it’s fun for a lot of reasons. Say this all the time but I am grateful to Monica for getting me to stop staring down my nose at the lot of them. I was missing out.

But I uh, well I’m noticing that a lot of what I like...not a lot of other DC fans do, lmao. And I’m not going to be tooting my own horn over here--or Avery’s rather, because I gave that back to her--but I just mean, I was taken aback by how, uh, upset some DC fangirls are about things that I liked or enjoyed? And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, it happens on the Marvel side too. People are opinionated and I usually fall to the counter-culture side of arguments. I guess because I’m a wide-eyed newbie to the DCverse, I wasn’t thinking about it. Okay, like, for example--

My first unpopular opinion is that Arthur Curry looks better in the comics than the DCEU.

“Whaaaaaat?! BUT DOT, ARE YOU SAYING JASON MOMOA ISN’T HOT?!”

I’m not here to say Jason isn’t attractive or that he doesn’t do Arthur justice--but I’mma stand here and on the same hand say Tony Stark looks better in the comics than in the MCU. One, because I’m a huge gigantic lesbian, and two, because I always think the comics look better. Like, you will never hear me say otherwise, in terms of looks. Real life cannot compete with fantasy; characters can be drawn perfectly and try as we might to emulate that in real life, we never can.

It has nothing to do with the actors, nothing to do with Jason or RDJ, it’s all about the comic character they play--which a lot of fangirls seem to forget when it comes to these live-action portrayals, might I add.

And so uh, when I wanna look at Arthur, like everyone else in the comics, I’d rather see his comic iteration. And ain’t nobody here for comic Aquaman for some reason. I never see him around and it sucks. I guess I shouldn’t judge but I do a little. Like, y’all been sleepin’ on Arthur or mocking him for fucking years and even I knew that, from my DC-hating lawn chair. But now that Jason plays him, now he’s acceptable? Now he’s okay?

Arthur is literally in the same boat as Loki, like if you don’t love them at their comicverse then you don’t get to love them in the movies. Ya don’t love Arthur, you love Jason. And I just don’t get that. Jason’s a beefcake and y’all know I’m here for some bulk but if we’re comparing looks comic Arthur is who I’m diving into the briny deep for every single day of the year.

^ LIKE THIS GIF IS SAVED IN MY PHONE LIBRARY, I LOVE IT SO MUCH how do you not find this sexy, like I am a gay woman and he could part me like the Red Sea.

Anyway.

My 2nd apparent unpopular opinion is that Edward Nygma, Mr. Riddler, looks super scrumptious in the Batman, War of Jokes and Riddles arc. I went to look at him for...reasons, earlier tonight, and I was expecting others to agree with me and was pretty stunned that everyone in the tag was making fun of him. I felt like Peter, like I went, “Riddle me this, how hot is Edward in this arc, guys, amirite?” And I held up my hand for a high five and got left hanging by the entire rest of the fandom--Monica not included because she’s above the fandom on her lofty angel cloud.

And I don’t give a shit, y’all know I hate popular things and I’m not complaining about this, I’m talking about it because I’m still not over my surprise. I’m aware I don’t like conventionally attractive types, I have this thing with unique bone structure or just unique appearances to begin with but I didn’t think Edward fell into that. I just thought he was handsome, like...at the risk of embarrassing myself but I found myself staring at him a lot during the arc when Monica was reading it to me because it was the kind of attractive that kept catching my eye. And so to hear so many people saying how ugly he looked or how they hated that iteration of him and I was like...lmao, am I missing something?? There’s every chance I am, I am very new to this party.

But I’m not new to the general premise of finding someone attractive so to look me in my retinas and tell me this--

This is not an entire look? Y’all seriously gonna hit the pass button on this particular Nygma?

This--

This is ugly, to you?

??????????

I’M NOT JUST USING QUESTION MARKS BECAUSE IT’S EDWARD I’M BEING SERIOUS, I am seriously confused by this. I see people posting photo sets of him in this arc and I wanna reblog them but they’re being shitty/sarcastic/mean about his appearance and i can’t delete OP’s unnecessary commentary.

I just can’t believe people think he looks ugly here. 😗 I can’t believe this particular opinion is an unpopular one...but whatever it’s my opinion and I’ll just sit on this island with my giant cardboard cutout of him. I don’t need y’all.

Man, and I thoroughly enjoyed that arc and so many people hated it, lmao. It may be because I’m new--actually, no. I’m not giving the fandom the benefit of the doubt for that one. Monica and I read that arc and while I didn’t have a ton of Batman history to base it on, it was solid writing and it was enjoyable to read. I think it comes down to that everyone is so quick to shit all over anything, anymore. Everyone is so fucking miserable, lmao, like it’s so chic to hate everything that’s put in front of you. It reminds me of trying to serve a toddler lunch. I can still remember trying to appease my little sister’s picky ass tummy when she was a baby, even things I knew for a fact she oughta like or that she did like, she’d smack off her high chair and cry about wanting something else--so she could repeat it when I set something new down. It’s the same fucking thing. As someone who is pretty happy with pretty much anything, it makes me anxious, like I worry everyone hating everything is gonna make content creators stop doing things. Why should they keep on, all you wanna do is bitch about anything they do? I wouldn’t write if I got that many complaints about my perfectly good stories. It’s...aggravating, why people can’t just be happy.

Which~ brings me to my third unpopular opinion, that I know Monica shares with me--BatCat sucks. Like, it’s a crappy pairing. It’s in the same boat as Peter & MJ, or Matt & Karen, or Tony & Pepper--I am not writing their dumbass ship name. I only wrote BatCat because the ship name is cute and that’s 90% because it has cat in it and I love kitties.

Anyway.

I see...so much support for this pairing and I’m like...y’all know she left him at the altar, right? Broke his heart? I really don’t care why she did it, there’s not going to be a single reason she could give that would make it okay in my book. I don’t know Selina all that well and I don’t actually dislike her like I do MJ or Karen or Pepper but I do dislike that I’ve been told she does this to him all the time. Everyone knows I have trust issues and someone flaking or betraying me constantly would drive me...haha, batty.

It’s 8AM leave me alone.

In all seriousness, it really makes me question the sort of girlfriend some girls think they are. I’m a feminist through and fucking through but that doesn’t mean I have to support shit-ass behavior and I don’t tolerate foolishness. As I said above, she could show up in a few issues and say there was some reason why she did it, some noble reason to do with Bane (seriously what the hell is he doing, I know he’s up to some shit) but you let your man know. You let your partner know, you don’t leave them hurting. There’s no fucking excuse for that. I’m a sensitive bitch and I’m 100% fine to admit that and admit that is where I’m coming from but I get so tired of women being selfish in comics, like why do you think it’s acceptable to act like this? I don’t know the nuances of Bruce and Selina’s relationship very well but like I said, I know she betrays him or leaves him a lot and that flaky shit gonna turn me off just as fast as when I saw Joker uncaring about Harley’s love. There are some things I just can’t truck with and that’s one of them.

I shouldn’t be surprised there’s so much love for this pairing, so many people are pushing for them to be married and I shouldn’t be shocked--Tony/Pepper and Peter/MJ is super fucking popular but that doesn’t...make them good pairings. You don’t treat your partner the way these women do. You just...don’t. I used to hate Bruce, h-a-t-e him, but it’s polar opposite at this point. He about did me in, initiating all those “I love yous,” and she broke his heart and I just...fwah. The fastest way to make me love you is to give me a reason to take care of you, I have learned.

Shit like these unsupportive relationships for people who give and give until they literally bleed flares my Mama Bear up bad.

I went from hating Bruce to this--

AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT, WHAT’S DONE IS DONE. Bruce can protect Gotham, that’s fine, but I guess my black ass finna be there when he gets home to protect him.

THIS IS WHERE WE ARE NOW.

My poor future children are fin’ta be smothered.

So yeah, I kinda went off on a tangent there and I initially...didn’t mean to, lmao. I’m sure there’s other shit I’m missing in terms of my opinions on DC, and I could go on for sixteen years about my Marvel shit, but I’ve...rambled on long enough.

Good night, my loves~♥

[katierosefun]

alright babes, it’s that time of the month again! 

unwarranted and unasked for things that i’ve been watching/reading/listening to in the past month that aren’t 100% star wars related, but for the sake of............[gestures vaguely] idk bro it’s my blog i’m mentally sitting on my bed and giving everyone at the sleepover a ted talk okay? okay. let’s do this. also.....long post, i was watching/reading/listening to a lot of stuff this month as a reward for....post-finals and also pre-lsat stress:

kdrama: hymn of death

god look at they

so, this was a kdrama available on netflix! it’s split into 3 episodes, each ep. an hour long, so i finished it in two days. this kdrama follows the story of a singer and a writer living in 1920s korea, back when japan still occupied the country. apparently, this kdrama is based on the real story of yun sim-deok and kim u-jin, whose tragic love story is still really popular in korea today. essentially, their love story is an affair--kim u-jin is married when he meets yun sim-deok, and they fall in love and write letters to one another in secret. things escalate, and unable to bear their lives trying to separate them, they decide to jump off a boat together, essentially killing themselves. 

it’s a tragic story, and i honestly expected this to make my heart hurt--and it did. i’ll admit that i kind of wish there was more to the story--a lot of this kdrama is told in flash forwards and etc., and while i really did love the dialogue and the aesthetics and the acting (oh man, the acting), i really wish we had more narrative-wise to go on. despite that though, the actors really brought this story to life, and once again: just like...everything is beautiful in this kdrama. so if you’re looking for a korean drama to take your mind off things but don’t want to commit yourself to a 16-21 episode ride, this one is probably for you!

(also,,,so much poetry you guys. my heart.)

school 2013 

“caroline your crush on lee jong suk is jumping out again” yeah yeah yeah i KNOW, so what i’ve been watching this moron’s entire filmography leave me aloneeee...but anyways, this kdrama is honestly?? pretty good? i’ll admit that i def. felt like i was going through a time machine because you can so tell that this was filmed in the early 2010′s just because of the camera angles and just...a bit of a rougher cut, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a really wonderful story with super well-developed and interesting characters.

i’ve talked ad nauseum about this kdrama here on tumblr, and more of my thoughts can be found on my general kdrama rec post, but like...guys. it’s so good. i’m obsessed with all the characters, and this kdrama, while older, is so powerful. there’s so many heartwarming moments, not to mention the relationships between all of the students/the relationships between the teachers and the students/the relationships between the teachers (oh god......rivals to co-workers to co-parents of a class to lovers PLEASE)........it’s all just very beautiful. i think i just really appreciate how this kdrama hits ALL THE NOTES--from discussing how important it is to have a dream to demonstrating how the school system makes the lives of their at-risk students so much harder to like.......all the struggles that teenagers face because of school....bro. :’)) 

anyways, i really, really, really loved this kdrama. the whole cast was absolutely perfect, the soundtrack is perfect, the relationships are perfect. i recommend that everyone watch this kdrama at least once. get through the first 2 episodes--i promise things just pick up so much faster after those first two episodes, and suddenly you’ll be watching episode after episode just because you care about these kids. 

babyfaced beauty

so, like i said—choi daniel and jang na ra’s wonderful chemistry in school 2013 compelled me to watch babyfaced beauty right after. like school 2013, this kdrama is a little bit on the older side—i think it aired in 2011, so that explains some of the bizarre camera angles and some older tropes that i’m not particularly the biggest fan of. basically, this kdrama follows a 34 year old woman who has to fake her age to get a job in the fashion industry. because of some mix-up at a club, her life is now intertwined with one of her new co-workers, a brash young man who’s 7 years younger. so their romance kinda starts off how a lot of older kdramas’ romance start out—with some behavior that,,,frankly, i didn’t like. because of that, i think it took some time for me to actually like this drama—at around episode 3 though, i think i found myself caring enough about at least a handful of the characters, which was what kept me going. i loved the theme about deciding to persist and follow your dream, no matter your age.

however, even though i was a little turned off by some of the behavior at the start of the drama, i was pleasantly surprised by like...the character development? so when the romance officially started, i warmed up to it super fast, and i don’t think it’s just because i think choi daniel and jang na ra have good chemistry. choi daniel’s character definitely is brash and a bit clumsy with his words, but he grows and like...is a lot more gentlemanly than i gave him credit for at first? and also, he just...i think he’s very genuine, and his absolute adoration for jang nara’s character makes me :’)) and jang na ra’s character, whom i was scared going to be too much of a wide-eyed airhead, turned out to have a lot of strength and like...a good moral compass and a steady head on her shoulders. i genuinely rooted for her the whole drama through, and i rooted for her relationship with choi daniel’s character. 

so like...overall? i binge-watched this kdrama in the span of like...a week just because as soon as it gets going, it gets going. i honestly liked this kdrama a lot more than i thought i would, and i’m glad that i watched it, because it was honestly very bright and made me :’))

jugglers 

they’re so fucking cute i could cry also yes my crush on choi daniel is SHOWINGGGG

okay....so i swear i was watching while you were sleeping while also watching this....i didn’t actually watch three kdramas starring choi daniel in a row....i s-s-swear..........

but simply put: i loved this kdrama. literally one of the cutest and softest kdramas i’ve ever watched, and i’ve watched quite a few. it took everything in me to not re-watch it literally right after watching the final episode, and once again: that is saying a lot. this kdrama basically follows the story of a secretary being assigned to a man who’s notorious for not taking secretaries. 

not gonna lie, i kinda felt odd about watching a kdrama that included a love story between a boss and his secretary, and i of course would feel a little wary of it irl, but i think this kdrama shifts the playing ground between them so it feels a little less weird. also, it’s just impossible to not love them, just because...they’re really lovely? they’re so soft, and the cast is excellent, and the actors did a wonderful job in bringing out the genuine affection and respect between the two. :’)) 

but more than that though, this story is just about what happens when two people learn to trust each other. you have this story about people loving each other despite their own sad pasts and hardships. and it’s just. the softest. there’s other things that’s excellent about this kdrama too--and there’s even a storyline that i felt was a nod to choi daniel’s drama babyfaced beauty, and there’s another storyline about just...other young women who are involved in an office that often mistreats women. so i just. there’s a lot of good things about this kdrama, and i 1000/10 recommend this, especially if you just want a super soft love story featuring people who are so ridiculously in love that you feel like you’re third-wheeling constantly--

movie: the call 

bro this movie messed me up

based off the 2011 film the caller, the call (2020, dir. lee chung-kyeon) is about this young woman (park shin hye) who receives a series of troubling calls from a different woman who lives in the same house...but twenty years ago. this movie is def. a psychological thriller / horror film, and there’s blood, tragedy, and also...a super negative depiction of people with borderline personality disorder, which made me ://///

there’s some really beautiful scenes in this movie--there’s this one scene that absolutely broke my heart, and idk by the end i felt like i just appreciated my family a lot more, so there’s that. i also...weirdly felt for the antagonist of the film (played by jeon jong seo), although like...again, i really hated that having borderline personality disorder was like...one of the reasons / parts that contributed to her being...a flat-out killer. like. idk. i’m very tired of these tropes. 

that said though, i did enjoy the time-travel-esque element to the horror film, and the subplot was nice. park shin hye, who plays the protagonist, also really brought her a-game to this film, and she’s always been a fave actress of mine, but like...bro, i can honestly say as someone who’s seen a lot of her work, i think this is one of her best acting jobs ever. i also just...really love any horror film that’s super character-focused rather than horror-focused, and i think this was definitely one of those movies that made sure you were thinking a lot more about the characters and their pasts instead of like...the literal killing part (which, of course, def. occupies a lot of the movie, but in a different way from most, you know?). 

so like,,,idk. i watched this movie, i have some issues with it, i liked it, and it freaked me out. i think fans of psychological thrillers / horror might enjoy this, but like...again, be warned for some icky rep. on the borderline personality disorder side of things. :///

loving vincent

this movie was actually a lot shorter than i thought it would be, but that doesn’t make it any less powerful. in just the span of an hour and a half, this movie goes into how a young man delivers vincent van gogh’s final letter to his beloved brother theo. in the process, our protagonist learns of vincent’s last days. 

this movie is just...beautiful. you can tell the people who made this movie really love vincent van gogh, and that’s one of the best things about this film. each frame is painted too, which...just artistically wise? is nuts. the art blew me away, and again: you can just tell how much people really, really, really loved art and vincent van gogh and everything van gogh loved and stood for. 

i can’t really go that much more into the movie except my heart just hurt a lot thinking about this artist who didn’t know what else to do except just. paint. and at least he was living his own truth. i’m so. agh. the music is also beautiful (the final song playing during the credits makes me :’))) anyways, i fully recommend watching this movie for anyone who loves van gogh / art / wants to get into a creative field but feels kinda lost. because this movie. this movie makes you. feel things. 

podcast: greenhouse

this podcast is super cute. made by the same person who made the bright sessions, greenhouse is all about a writer recluse named rose who, in a bizarre final request from her late father, must write letters to a florist named abby. 

guys. after spotify recced me me & au, i’m genuinely starting to think that my mind is being fed into some computer algorithm, because first of all, writer character named rose, also lovely literature/movie references, also this is very gay. this podcast definitely leans into the trope of “seemingly suave but also kind of sarcastic protagonist falls in love with a literal ray of sunshine”, and i’m honestly here for it. each episode is pretty short (maybe 4-6 minutes long total!), and i’ll admit i kind of wish that there was a little more buildup between the two characters, but that could just be me. overall though, i really enjoyed the podcast, and like...there are cinnamon buns and emma and beloved references, and for a baking lit nerd like me, that’s...basically my kryptonite. also, the final episode made me smile really hard. also, the piano music for the intro and outros are very pretty, definitely a mimic of period dramas, i think. so. give this a listen if you too are a romantic lit nerd.

documentary: suicide forest in japan

 so...in an impulse decision, i decided to watch this 20-minute documentary after coming across this post. the aokigahara forest is infamous for the amount of people who have committed suicide there, usually by hanging or sleeping pills. sometimes people will just live in the forest for a day or two because they’re still deciding whether they want to die. 

this documentary was...quietly beautiful and also quietly sad. we follow geologist azusa hayano, who gives a brief history of this forest and also the things that happen here. first of all, he seems like a lovely man, and he sympathizes a lot with the people who have come here. he guides us through the whole of the forest: from the cars still parked outside that have never been restarted since their owners left, to the walking paths, to the part of the forest that’s corded off as a warning. we see bits and pieces of the things that people have left behind: a woman’s mirror, some notes, etc. it’s all very sad, but something i truly enjoyed about this documentary was just. mr. hayano’s commentary on the lives of those who stumble in here. how we need to take care of each other. how we should be able to co-exist and the like. 

there’s some more stuff that happens in this documentary, but i think i’m just glad to see something that was respectful and just. honest about the aokigahara forest. unfortunately, lots of horror movies have been made about this forest, not to mention that whole logan paul incident in 2017. i think mr. hayano said it best himself--about how like...there’s nothing scary about someone committing suicide / seeing a suicide corpse. it can’t attack you. it’s just sad. 

anyways, i’m glad i saw this documentary. it’s pretty short as far as documentaries go, and it’s very quiet, and idk. i think everyone kind of deserves to hear a mr. hayano say something about how we’re not all alone.

music: 

i can’t get through this rec list without mentioning olivia rodrigo’s debut album sour. i’ve been obsessed with everything she’s put out so far, but this album like...just blew me away. i’m so amazed by olivia’s powerful vocals and her wonderful song lyrics. i rambled on a bit about this album here, but i think my favorite tracks are traitor and good 4 u and hope ur ok and brutal and drivers license--honestly, they’re all very good, and i think something i just...appreciate how olivia rodrigo is able to so beautifully put words to all the difficult feelings that come with teenage angst. and, like?? i mean this in the best way possible, because like,,,olivia’s very self-aware, and there are plenty of lyrics in this whole album that nods to yeah, i know that i’m kind of being selfish / kind of petty / people probably think i’m overemotional and sensitive, but HERE ARE MY FEELINGS, DAMMIT, SO YOU BETTER LISTEN, and honestly? i’m here for it. i honestly think olivia’s going to go big and that she’s going to become a real big phenomenon, just because her lyrics are so powerful and also relatable, not to mention she has an absolutely stunning voice, and she’s only?? 18 years old?? bro. anyways, i absolutely loved this album, and i def. recommend that everyone gives it at least a listen. my only warning is that the whiplash from “YEAAAAAH I’M ANGRY AND I’M GONNA BURN SOMETHING DOWN” to “oh my god i’m so sad i’m going to lie down on the floor and cry quietly at 2 am” feelings are REAL.

i’ve also totally, absolutely caved and decided to listen to lizzy mcalpine’s album give me a minute. so, like...i’m a stubborn gal who for some reason built this wall around lizzy mcalpine just because spotify kept recommending her music to me, so i guess because of that i decided to be like “well, now i’m not gonna listen”, but then i listened to pancakes for dinner, promptly fell in love, and i’ve been mildly obsessed with her album. each song hits so hard and has so many beautiful lyrics, not to mention lizzy’s voice is just...very nice to listen to. highly recommend, because it just...good feelings, esp. if your heart’s kind of raw and you just. need music to help you put the words to your feelings.

some more music, because just...a lot of beautiful music came out this month for some reason, but:

funeral by maisie peters, feat. james bay. i’m really in love with maisie peters’ music, but i had this on repeat as soon as it came out. maisie peters has a wonderful streak for having songs about being a little uneasy about love, and this one is just def. a favorite in that genre. also, maisie and james’ voices are so lovely together. also “i want you to roll in your grave like you’re not dead / i want you to call off the whole damn funeral”...

astronomy by conan gray. this is a slower song of his, and as always, i’m absolutely taken away by his voice and his lyrics. there’s this one line about how distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder but apparently not for us and yeah i might have lost my mind a bit.

[survivorandalucia]

“Well Stone boy, let the games commence.”- Amanda

Too busy socializing and not sounding bad for once to make a long one but FUCKKKKK!

Welp.... there goes my plan, both of the people i could control the votes of are gone.

Jenna thought she could get me out? Ahaha, you're gonna have to try a little harder than THAT. Took me all of two hours to get an eight vote majority against you girl, maybe next time try and target somebody you can actually vote out. Catch ya later, little miss last place.

OMG BYE JENNA! You little snake ass bitch!! *booty drop* im so happy that snake is gone! BUT NOW A TRIBE SWAP OMFG! Already this game is so crazy! Amanda is safe so bless! Im gonna bring my social game in today and try to talk to the vets and then tmw for only a little bit I don't wanna be seen as a big social threat yet or overplay anything! I made an alliance with everyone that is left an good thing i was in an alliance with all of them! But the fact that i have previously made a doc with all the info from the past players should help my tribe out! Chris stoner is a big threat he won a season and got second out! I want him out but only if somone else brings up his name! I'm so anxious now oh my lordy!

I survived first tribal with no votes and I'm so excited. Though now we are switching tribes are im a little worried because I was in a good position and now I don't know where I stand

OKAY SO I made an alliance with Jacob Payton and Toph and we were ready to slay the game and stuff and then we have a tribe swap which meant we lost Jacob but we decided to do a newbies alliance so that's cute 

Payton is cute and it distracts me that is all

I am kinda alining myself with Madison just cause she won the thing at first and i think she's cute and i feel like that's gonna bite me in the butt. She's also though the only one i even remotely trust though atm.

So we swapped and there's some good things about this tribe, thankfully. They've got an inactive, and I screamed for joy when I saw that. The fans want Willa gone, we want Willa gone, so when it comes down to numbers the fans will be scrambling and that puts me in a neato position to work with either the newbs or the veterans, and I love that gig. As for the newbies, I'm really liking Toph, Payt, & Amanda so far. I haven't talked too much with Madison off-call but Amanda and I sent memes and did some good ol' Game of Thrones chatter, Toph is a fellow atheist (which there's less of us than I'd like rip) and Payt rocks his dino onesie and seems like a fun fella. But as for the returnees, I can't say I'm fond of many of 'em. I've barely spoken with LA and Jordan M., but I do like Adrian & Chris. Hopefully I'm on decent footing here, I just gotta stay chatty and stay sunny. I'm not going anywhere, bet on that.

JENNA WAS ROBBED also me socio-strategic icon not getting any votes except for the one i gave myself B) jk i was afk all day whoops, but this game is crazy already yikes cant wait to flop <3

The returners are some shady motherfuckers, like seriously the first fucking challenge they backstab us, like i trust that madison didn't and i'm pretty sure jordan lied to us and maybe poteet knows.

Surprise!

Tribal again, rip. I'm a little worried this round.

So, I planted the seed into the newbies alliance chat that we should get Chris out as soon as we can. I saw his games, he's a comp beast and has made FTC both times he's played. I feel like he's going to become a huge threat in the game if we don't take him out soon enough. I also feel really insecure with my newbies alliance, they haven't done anything shady, I just have a bad feeling. Thankfully, I can't get voted out this time! I love Jenna for giving me immunity. Payton wants Jordan out, but I kind of like him. He has been acting shady, but I think now is the best time to get Stone boy out. I don't think anyone will wind up listening to me, though. I told Poteet I'm debating between getting a threat out or someone annoying or someone shady and he was like "Well the other tribe isn't bad at challenges so I think we should stay strong for now." I get where he's coming from, but I have a feeling that Chris will be impossible to get out once merge hits. I'm having a (bean) dilemma right now and I just don't want to put a target on my back for mentioning Chris to any returnees. Payton told me he made an alliance with Poteet (and I think LA) and he told them to get Jordan out, so I guess we have to get him out now unless something (hopefully) changes. I'm happy though, I can remain a bit calm because in the end, I do have immunity. If something happens though and one of the newbies goes home, we're all royally fucked.

Omg we won immunity. It was close but we did it. Aah I'm just trying to make it a day at a time I personally didn't know what the heck I was doing during the challenge Out of all the vets, I have a pretty good relationship with Daniel And I have a good relationship with the newbies So hopefully I have a really good social game going

So, winning that challenge was AMAZING! I led Malaga to a big fat W, and I've made a group of friends doing it. I had a rocky start to this game, but I ain't going any where for a while yet, so I guess y'all are stuck with me.

guess who has no fucking clue what's happening? it's me it's been a busy couple days and my cat died and i died inside and there is this org going on that i'm probably losing and there are new people and old people who probably know each other and there's a shea and an angry tomato in our tribe chat for some reason i'm actually so confused about life i think there was a challenge

Hiiiii! Your fave floppy fan from the last FvF is here and is ready for his second shot at the virtual million bucks! I love everyone here, from the hosts to the people that actively tried to talk to me: Jordan Pines, Rhone, Poteet, Jake and Jordan M! But we're not on the island coming off the boats or whatever, and these twisted hosts say that we have to vote someone off from both tribes?!?! Also, noting the fact right now that I was completely oblivious that there were 22 people to begin with and not 20 AJNAJSND I HAVE BEEN A MESS SINCE THIS GAME STARTED AND I HATE IT ALREADY! So, I have been somewhat inactive in the first 24 hours of this game. Half of the returnee tribe has not responded to my add request, and I have only been talking to Jake, Rhone and Poteet a whole lot. Both Jordans are chill, but Pines is acting all fucking smug ever since it was announced that he found that immunity? Okay chill. We get that you're immune for the first tribal of the season, but most of this community knows your reputation of being a dick and asswipe, and I wasn't apart of that mindset until you demonstrated it with our short 15 minute talk. I pray we lose this first challenge so I can take you out. Day 2 and WHEWWWWW ALREADY A TRIBE SWAP? Amazing. Just amazing. Also there is a thing called "Trials of Terror" this season? But like, where is the trials part of this twist.... and how is it terrorizing? All we have for premergers is for them to hand immunity to some unsuspecting flop from either tribe, only for them to advance to the next round of gameplay? Again, terrorizing? No. Good idea to be buddy-buddy with the person who's name you are writing down tonight? ABSOLUTELY!

So this round is a god damn mess. Payton really is trying my patience right now. First you want me and poteet to target each other. Now you want to target me. Oh hunny no you gotta try harder than that. The best part is poteet helped me in the challenge to try and get the advantage so that was his first mistake. Also Madison I see you leaking information. That's noted and wont be forgotten. I'm so ready to get votes at every tribal I attend honestly. Shower me in votes daddy.

It is Day 4? Idk I lost count already that's so sad :( But, my new tribe lost the challenge and I'm not even too worried. The newbies are like digging their selves into a ditch and I'm just sitting back and watching the show unfold. Willa is an inactive mess. Thank god I got to see how he played in Athena ORG, cause then I would know to keep him on a leash. Amanda and Toph are like the only cool ones I had the pleasure of talking too. Madison is something. Girl, I personally think is oblivious to the fact that we swapped tribes and did not add me back until the challenge results went up, and there is Payton. Sweet lovable Payton. Dude you're  a mess, and you already fucked up saying that you have an alliance with someone by posting in the tribe chat "but don't tell anyone we're an F2"..... Typical newbies. Its hilarious to watch honestly. Literally, how people are like offering me these alliances offers is truly baffling. Because I am really at most a 6 on the activity scale at this point, and with us attending tribal tonight, they're really looking and scoping for a vote that they can use huh? But alright, I'll play dumb and go along with your plans. Just don't be shocked when its you tonight that goes home!

So after we lost immunity I started talking to Jordan who said that Payton kept beans for himself during the challenge so of course I immediately told Payton so then we got the anti Jordan train rolling BUT WAIT now Jordan wants to work with our newbie alliance so idk how I got out of this bean mess unscathed nobody even blamed for it which offends me deeply and I would just like to say that Jordan Means rhymes with beans so he was the one that held out that is all

I'm not agreeing with Amanda or Payton so that nobody can use my words against me but now everyone is turning against Payton who I trust so very much so I feel really torn about the vote and Ahhhh

Looks like I'm the only newbie here that grew a pair of balls today. Jordan told me that he knows Petra and I was like "Oh shit, I have to flip this vote on my own!" So, I suggested it to the newbies alliance. Turns out, I was right for having a bad feeling about them. Payton goes to Chris and tells him that I'm throwing his name out there. This little hoe is really testing my patience huh??? I rallied up myself, Jordan, Madison, Toph, Adrian, and Willa to get Chris out. Things should go smoothly because I highly doubt he has an idol. I heard that people were also trying to get Payton out, but I brought up the point that if Payton goes he will give Chris immunity. I thoroughly believe Chris is a very smart person so I think he would throw immunity just so he can take out one of our numbers, which could wind up being me. Also, this is how I know Payton is out to get me. [3:15:32 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: hmm [3:15:37 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: just be careful [3:15:58 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: watch your back [3:16:20 PM] Amanda Sledge: okay then [3:16:23 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: look [3:16:25 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: dont be fake [3:16:28 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: dont come at me w that fake shit [3:16:29 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: ill get u out [3:16:33 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: easily [3:16:35 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: trust me [3:16:38 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: im not some fool [3:16:46 PM] Amanda Sledge: okay [3:17:35 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: just done be fake thats all [3:17:38 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: otherwise im a great guy! [3:17:43 PM] Amanda Sledge: aight lol [3:17:45 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: if u wanna come after me have some balls [3:17:48 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: say yo ur a threat [3:17:50 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: boom game done lets go versus [3:17:56 PM] Amanda Sledge: aight then [3:18:00 PM] Amanda Sledge: game on pal [3:18:09 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: this is where the fun begins [3:18:11 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: gluck [3:18:16 PM] Amanda Sledge: thank you [3:18:20 PM] Amanda Sledge: good luck to you as well [3:18:34 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: ur safe tonight [3:18:42 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: but not next round [3:18:46 PM] Amanda Sledge: yep Well Stone boy, let the games commence.

God, I've been torn all day, but I decided to vote Payton out. Chris gave me a really good case, and I decided to listen to it. Let's hope that it will benefit me in the game! Fingers crossed. [5:24:29 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: well this is my pitch to you in regards to not voting me [5:24:33 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: I am loyal to those who help me [5:24:43 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: you came after me in a good attempt but without getting to know me [5:24:51 PM] Amanda Sledge: fair point [5:24:54 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: i don't judge that or hold it against you, I expected it coming into the game [5:25:08 PM] Amanda Sledge: my messages are gonna send later my wifi sucks sorry [5:25:10 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: im pretty loyal, I'm good at comps. i am the only winner in this game so there will be plenty of time to get me out [5:25:12 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: no worries youre good [5:25:18 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: no one will let me win twice [5:25:29 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: let alone make finals again [5:25:36 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: i got luky a second time cause i had 2 very very close friends who i knew for 6 years [5:25:46 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: this time im alone with a big red target on my back [5:26:31 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: thats the jist. im loyal to those who help me. my allies make it to the end with me. I'm strong in comps and I will always have a big target [5:26:37 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: this big move of yours will paint a target on your back [5:26:48 PM] Chris "Fabio" Stoner: and i think it benefits you to have me in the game to keep that target me and you in the shadows

After tonight Imma just shut up for a while XD

Dora the explorer becoming my best friend? more likely then you think 

[ayusaurus]

Welp I just slept for 8 hours

Traveling can be so exhausting and I just wasn’t in a good mood anyways yesterday =/

This past weekend was a lot of fun, but it just reaffirmed how I felt about the friends I have irl. I’ve come to realize that I only really have one close friend of the ones I have irl, and it sucks because we’re both busy so we don’t have time to see each other very much aside from once every few months or so. It would have been nice if he could have come, but he didn’t know the guy getting married so that would have been a little awkward if he came, but I think it would have helped my trip be a little more enjoyable than it was.

(Also vent incoming, but positive stuff after the next two paragraphs.)

The friends that met up with my boyfriend and I are nice, but it was just that feeling of knowing we’d all moved onto totally different interests and we couldn’t even carry a damn conversation to save our lives. Sure alcohol helped a bit, but even then it was awkward af and really highlighted just how much closer I am with my friends online who I’m able to be myself around rather than having to be all smiles and force a personality that isn’t my own. It was also mentally taxing due to the fact that I was mostly a tour guide on the trip, I also wound up having to be the navigator, which let me just say, was a bit frustrating when things would happen like getting stuck in traffic cause they’re asking questions, which I KNOW is meant to be vague, but dear lord it felt so much like I was at fault for not knowing that it would take x amount of time to get there. And then later on my friend was like “well it said to allot x amnt of time” at which point I just thought “WELL WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO IF YOU KNEW???” Like I’m sorry I’m being stressed out by the fact that I’ve had to look over every detail and then I happen to miss ONE thing. And then when we missed a turn on our way back to where we were staying from our wedding, my friend A had to literally say “Why didn’t we just turn there???” To which my other friend goes “Oh well Ayu didn’t say where to turn until the turn came” which one I, and the gps did say where to turn and she didn’t hear, and secondly, me apparently saying “hey, it was a mistake, please don’t say it like that” made them feel like it was an absurd thing to say when literally I just asked them not to say it in that way when I was already feeling blamed for the traffic and stuff even when I wasn’t trying to feel that way. It also didn’t help that when we were running late to other things, no one ever had the foresight to text our friend who lives in Seattle and it was up to me to look after that too. It didn’t help that my boyfriend got sick for two of the days so I was worried about him. Like one of the nights he got a fever too and so that was worrisome cause we’re in a different state and I’m just worried about “what if this gets bad and we have to take him to a hospital??” So that was worrisome. My boyfriend said he felt bad because generally he can help with conversation if things get slow, but then it was up to me to carry conversation, so that just also didn’t help and he wished that he could have been more active in convos, to which I told him it’s okay and that I was happy that he’s feeling better now.

I just was so mentally done by the time Monday came around from dealing with all of that stress of making sure we made it to places on time that I didn’t really want to talk at all and that also carried into Tuesday, which I felt bad for because I wasn’t much of a conversationalist with my boyfriend, so I’m thankful we had Thursday to ourselves in Seattle. Yesterday wasn’t as good of a day either cause it was a day I would have been visiting a friend, but wasn’t able to due to things that could have been fixed more easily if I had the hindsight and tools I’ve gained in therapy to realize and deal with things better. So that was just somewhat of a moodkill too sitting in the airport to head home instead of being on a flight to more fun adventures. So that was a bit =/, but it also was good to get home and just decompress a bit and pass tf out.

However, I don’t want this to be all negative/ vent because I did have a lot of fun as well! I was able to visit a couple beaches, so that was wonderful and I got seashells too!! There’s something about the beach that’s so nice and relaxing and I love the ocean smell and the breeze on my face and through my hair. It’s def calming.

The first day was also nice because over the last few years my boyfriend and I have drifted due to our interests and also due to me pulling away. But Thursday was the first day in a long time that I felt close with him again and we got to have conversations about things that we didn’t have to rehash over and over and over again. It was also the first time I could voice exactly how I’ve been feeling clearly and explain confidently and definitively why I’ve pulled away so much within all my relationships. It felt nice to be able to be honest because I finally had an answer rather than a guess. I apologized to my boyfriend, but this time I felt it held more weight because he could see how the last few months of therapy has helped me in my own understanding of myself and that he felt that my explanations weren’t just bandaids or temporary fixes. Of course I have a long ways to go in mending our relationship, but I feel like this trip has been a very good first step in that process and like a weight was taken off my shoulders.

And of course, the reason I went up there, was because my friend was getting married!!! It was a lovely ceremony and we had an absolutely amazing time at the reception! It was so nice to see my friend marry his best friend and now husband! =) they’re so cute together and made my heart swell to see them so happy!! We also got to visit their house and see that and talk with some of his family that I haven’t seen in a while, so that was lovely. Before seeing his new house we got to go to the space needle and then we took a duck boat tour which was cool cause I learned some things I didn’t previously know. Then afterwards we got to go to the Chihuly museum and garden. Which, let me tell you, was amazing. Chihuly is one of my fave artists, so it was nice to see his pieces in person and something I can cross off my bucket list. That felt absolutely amazing to say the least! I ALSO GOT TO SEE SEA OTTERS OMG!!! I ABSOLUTELY TOOK SO MABY PICS AND IT WAS THE BEST HOUR IVE SPENT OF MY LOFE GETTIG TO SEE THEM AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

And then too, I got to explore more of Seattle than I previously have before, so that was nice. My boyfriend and I are talking about coming back again as there really is just so much to see and do up there. So that was nice af. Also the plane rides were always fun because of clouds. Like let me tell you, I love clouds and flying above the Earth so much and it always makes me happy when I can do it. So it was lovely. ALSO, KIZUKI RAMEN!!! Like omg I always get so emotional when I eat ramen from there because it’s the most authentic Shoyu ramen I can have in the US. There’s a place here at home that kinda comes close, but it’s just not the same. Like, I will get teary when I eat at Kizuki ramen because every bite literally makes me feel like I’m eating in Japan and causes all those memories to come flooding back, so I just love and appreciate it since it makes me feel a little closer to my second home even if it only lasts momentarily. <3

Also the weather was lovely while we were there and it was so awesome to see the mountains and everything so clearly. I got a lot of lovely pics so I’ll get those hopefully posted up this weekend!

Anyways that’s all I’ve got and feel so much better now that I’m home and relax for the next few days before I go back to work on Friday. Gonna play some OW and work on the next update for my comic =)