#their daughter will come next with her own download post!

[hedgehog-moss]

Summer fun with Poldine <3 We've come a long way since her first hike, back in June! We've been going to the torrent regularly all summer and she's now familiar with the place and a lot more confident in the water. She seemed to enjoy wading in ankle-deep water from the start, but places where the water starts to reach her belly were a different story! And waterfalls were yet another challenge.

She's so brave though. She'll need to snuggle very close to you and occasionally kiss your cheek to reassure herself (the above pic also features a nervous forehead-kiss) but she'll accept to go very near these thunderously-loud unknown entities if you stay with her.

(if some pics in this post look like they were taken in 1897 and then colorised it's because they are screenshots from videos that were sent to me in low quality so it wouldn't take 2 days for my weak wifi to download them)

Another important Poldine fact (besides her bravery) is that despite being 18 months-old she's still a bit of a toddler : she thinks Only She is cute enough to be allowed to be annoying. She'll happily stomp her little foot right next to you to splash you with cold water, but SHOCK and OUTRAGE if you do it to her. Here I am gently sprinkling her with 5 droplets of water and she's swerving away from me in the most dramatic and indignant way

She's looking at me in the exact same way she looked at Pyrgus in this post. The Pampoldine Death Glare.

There's an impenetrable jungle of blackberry bushes on the way home from the torrent (every year the first task of summer is to open a path through it all over again), and lately she got used to stopping there for a reward-snack after every swim.

You need good reflexes if you want to eat some blackberries yourself because by the time you've spotted a nice ripe one, Poldine will have spotted it too and she'll reach for it with her long neck over your shoulder swift as a rattlesnake.

Another cool Poldine fact is that if she overhears me telling my visiting friends or cousins "You'll see, we've made so much progress, she goes into the deep water now!" then it will be the day when she refuses to do so and pretends she has never seen this stream in her life.

(warning: nothing happens, I'm just like hey Poldinou you should come here where it's deeper, the water's so nice and safe and refreshing and she's like I don't believe you ://) (2 min after this video ended, she abandoned me and hurried back to the bank in a fit of panic for absolutely no reason.) (something touched her foot underwater) (allegedly)

On the other hand if she overhears me telling people "well I don't know if she'll go in the water with us, sometimes she's skittish about it" then it will be the day when she throws herself in like a delighted duck, taking everyone by surprise.

Just like Pampe when she was so polite with the shearer it was almost disturbing, right after I described her as a difficult llama. Pampérigouste has taught her daughter the benefits of being unlikely forever and Pampoldine took it to heart, in her own ethical way.

[luthsthings]

Sims 4 x 10 Years!

Ten years ago today, I booked the day off on my work schedule and played a lot of Sims 4.

I'd been a Simmer since 2000, after one of my kids asked for the game because they'd seen it at a friend's house. I played The Sims, and then Sims 2, and then Sims 3. Sims 3 and my computer didn't get on too well, and I fought it a lot, wanting to play rotationally as a micromanager! When the Sims 4 trailers started coming out, I felt like they'd finally made a version of the game that was really for me, as a micromanaging rotational player who doesn't want to restart for new packs and new worlds, and who likes some quirk and exaggeration.  

So on September 2, 2014, I installed Sims 4. (I'd preordered, of course!) I downloaded trailer Sims from the Gallery (I still have a soft spot for Amber -- in one of my saves, back around 2015, she married Elvis Presley). I giggled at Sims sticking their fingers in their ear while they cooked. I got annoyed by the push-ups. I completely failed at making a roof. A Sim read a book while on the toilet and I was delighted. I took my Willow Creek Sim to visit the bar in Oasis Springs and enjoyed the view there (I like the dinos).

I made a self-Sim and spent lots of time tweaking her face till my husband came into the room, glanced at my monitor, and said, "Hey, that's actually you!" She's still my self-Sim (over on my avatar there). I just update her look now and then as I update my own.

I had a lot of fun, and I found myself using Sims as a new creative outlet in ways I hadn't so much before. I felt creative.

Eventually I confessed to my daughter that I'd actually played with my self-Sim. Here she is as a scientist back in 2015. Once upon a time, in an earlier version of the game, we -- me and my kids -- were playing with "us" in game and I died in a model rocket accident. This was traumatic and I was not supposed to play with "us" anymore. This time I did not die.

And here I am still playing! (But my hair went white.) I've had three-day saves and seven-year saves (RIP that save!). I've played every pack, but there are still base game things I haven't done! Sometimes I get really caught up in too much micromanaging with the game (townies really do often need fixing), then a new pack comes out and I try new things and it's a lot of fun again. It makes me laugh.

I've also made new friends in Sims communities and helped lots of Simmers keep playing the game. I started doing that back in 2014. A lot of the Sims community back then was focusing on what was bad about Sims 4. I was having fun with it, though, and enjoyed helping other people on the Forums who just wanted to do that.

That just kind of... morphed. It turned into some Forums posts gathering scattered info about upcoming packs from the various places SimGurus were saying things (I stopped doing those a couple of years ago -- there are websites gathering that info now, and a lot less places it turns up too). It turned into threads gathering info about mods that got broken in big game patches... and that was way back in 2015! I'm delighted that it turned into a whole thing in the community, with different places providing the info different ways. Getting to know the modding community after starting that has been a lot of fun. I even brushed off my old programming knowledge from high school and took over some mods from a modder I'd gotten to know well. I do like the lack of punch cards in modern programming!

I'm also super thankful to EA and Maxis for inviting me some years ago to be a Game Changer (the program that morphed into the EA Creator Network). I love the connections I have with other creators and storytellers and support people in the EACN, even if I feel really tiny next to the big names with their thousands and thousands of followers (but a quick thank you to my little group of Patrons! I appreciate you a ton!). I am also very appreciative of the gifted packs from EA that I receive as part of the EACN. They've helped make it a little bit easier to volunteer my time to supporting other Simmers, even if I do now have to put disclaimers on gameplay content I post, which sometimes feels a bit silly.

tldr: Happy 10th Birthday, Sims 4! I hope it's a fabulous one.

And now I'm going to grab some lunch, do some chores, then dive back into my current save. Cassandra has two love interests to consider, and that jewel is charging up. Plus she really needs a cat. And some actual income. And some improvements in her spellcasting (my previous save's Cassandra was a Mermaid). And that's not to start on Alexander building some skills before he heads off to uni for Robotics...

Psst... 

Don't forget to mark on your calendar the next anniversary. The Sims franchise will be 25 on February 4, 2025! 

[emmastillsims]

Empyrean Series: Fourth Wing/Iron Flame

Hi all who are still here! My last post was in 2022, so I'm very impressed if you're still around :) I only make lookbooks nowadays if I'm truly inspired and the time has finally come. 

I read the first two available books (Fourth Wing and Iron Flame) in the Empyrean series by Rebecca Yarros so quickly and am still so obsessed.  If you are a fan of fantasy and steamy content, I wholeheartedly recommend this series. I used a lot of harnesses/buckles in place of knife sheaths and video game outfit conversions for this lookbook and I look forward to dedicated cc once the Amazon Prime show debuts :)

Plot of Fourth Wing from Goodreads:

Twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail was supposed to enter the Scribe Quadrant, living a quiet life among books and history. Now, the commanding general—also known as her tough-as-talons mother—has ordered Violet to join the hundreds of candidates striving to become the elite of Navarre: dragon riders. But when you’re smaller than everyone else and your body is brittle, death is only a heartbeat away...because dragons don’t bond to “fragile” humans. They incinerate them. With fewer dragons willing to bond than cadets, most would kill Violet to better their own chances of success. The rest would kill her just for being her mother’s daughter—like Xaden Riorson, the most powerful and ruthless wingleader in the Riders Quadrant. She’ll need every edge her wits can give her just to see the next sunrise. Yet, with every day that passes, the war outside grows more deadly, the kingdom's protective wards are failing, and the death toll continues to rise. Even worse, Violet begins to suspect leadership is hiding a terrible secret. Friends, enemies, lovers. Everyone at Basgiath War College has an agenda—because once you enter, there are only two ways out: graduate or die. 

DOWNLOAD:

You can find these sims on the gallery under Origin ID: eregister or you can download the tray files here (mediafire, no ads.) You will still need to download all the CC for your sims to look like mine.

Click here for CC links (AD-FREE) and enjoy! 🐲⚔️⚡

// thank you cc creators: @ceeproductions, @dangerouslyfreejellyfish, @greenllamas, @kijiko-sims, @lightdeficient, @lustrousims, @northernsiberiawinds, @peachyfaeire, @someone-elsa, @yakfarm, @angissi, @aveirasims, @ghostputty, @wistfulpoltergeist, @dansimsfantasy, @dallasgirl79, @darte77, @dbasiasimbr, @evellsims, @goamazons, @golyhawhaw, @ice-creamforbreakfast, @introsims, @johnnysimmer, @lamatisse, @lumysims, @luumia, @melonsloth, @mmsims, @annamsblue, @nolan-sims, @obscurus-sims, @peacemaker-ic, @plazasims, @remussirion, @sagittariahx, @sifix, @simmiev2, @simstrouble, @tamo-sim, @twisted-cat, and those not on tumblr //

[imomisoplays]

Brunch Plate

Sul sul, tombler!

I’m back with the last household in my gameplay rotation – the Ito-Landgraab family featuring Nanami Ito. My Nanami used to live with Kiyoshi and Aria, and grew up together with their daughters Stella and Vienna. She went to Foxbury University to study Computer Science, and later entered the tech guru career. Nanami was still living with Kiyoshi and Aria even after the twins graduated and moved out; matter fact it was a few years back when she met Malcolm Landgraab and agreed to be in a so-called traditional marriage and have kids. The twins, Kieran and Sean are born the following year.

Fast forward a few years later, the twins are well into their tenacious toddler phase, yet Nanami and Malcolm’s marriage is distant. Just when they both consider to come off clean to Malcolm’s parents, they are hit with two consecutively horrible news: when taking a respective vacation on Mt. Komorebi and Henford-on-Bagley, Geoffrey had died after falling off a cliff while climbing, while Nancy perished after a fierce attack by a rabid rabbit (pun intended). Just like that, the only people who forced Malcolm to “marry a nice girl and bear a heir for the family” is gone. Which brings us to today: Malcolm and Nanami is still married by the papers, but he spent half of his week with them and the other half in his other properties. Don’t get him wrong – Malcolm is a good father, it's just that he (and Nanami) is not a good spouse.

I did warn you Nanami’s family drama would be juicy, didn’t I? 🍵

Anyway, let’s just start with the cooking process. Life in the desert is good, and since the twins have their own nanny, Nanami’s mornings started off later than for other people. Hence, today’s menu brunch plate fits perfectly for Nanami’s lifestyle. Additional point for it being easy enough for the twins to feed themselves with. The cc recipe is made by @oni28 (click here to download it). Please be aware that you would need to install Oni’s Recipe Pack Mod which is updated regularly on their Patreon page.

Brunch is a portmanteau of breakfast and lunch, and is usually eaten during late mornings. It originated in England in the late 1800s, but gained popularity in the United States in the 1930s. Although the menu features a wide range of foods, some common brunch items include: eggs, either fried eggs, eggs Benedict, or omelets; bread, most popular being French toast or pancakes; fruit or vegetables for vibrancy; a sweet touch of pastry for sweetness; and alcohol… for emotional support, I guess.

I feel like I need to take 1,000 screenshots from this angle just because of how much I struggled to place all those items on the shelf. I don't know about you but placing clutters in Sims 4 will forever be my Achilles' heels 😔

Cutting the store-brought bread into slices. Another chance, we will make bread from scratch with Nanami, I promise!

Chopping the tomatoes, because girl have to stay healthy and eat enough fiber.

EGGS! It’s always sunny-side-up in Philadelphia Oasis Springs!

Really love how chonky everything looks. Might be biased but one could never go wrong with a plate of toast and egg.

Also, another close-up of my Nanami. She is always so fun to makeover in CAS! Growing up, she was very punk with her red and black attire (Wei WuXian incarnate -- toast of Emperor's Smile if you get that reference!) – dark eyeshadows, fishnets, and piercings! So much piercings. As she grew older she took most of them off, but keep one in her right brows for sentimental purposes. Nowadays she enjoys her comfy boho style.

I have yet to find the perfect photoshoot place for this house, but this will do for now!

And one more picture – a sneak-peek of the next member of the Ito-Landgraab household, if I may. This is Kieran! He just woke up from his morning nap, just in time for some brunch plate. Better leave some for your twin brother too! Until then, dag dag!

P.S. I realized later that I had ReShade off for this post, hence the colors look less dreamy and more... desert-y. You'll see what I mean when you compare this post with my other posts. P.S.S. Definition and detailed information of brunch is taken from this article, this article, and this Wiki page.

Imomiso's note: This post is originally posted on the now deleted blog.

[kohakurin8]

~ A Sticky Spider's Web ~

An Explained Post that Untangles Arachne's Web in My Own Words

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

This post contains spoilers beyond this point!

Although I do not personally believe that these spoilers will inhibit the gameplay experience, if you would like to play this short game before reading my post, please scroll to the bottom for a link to where it can be downloaded!

Bold of you to assume I'd stop playing spooky horror games just because it's November. After all, they're one of my favorite genres! And last night I had the pleasure of experiencing another one of @starwarspurgefan 's suggestions -- Spider's Web by Teamsin3

Full Disclosure -- Although I wasn't as completely impressed with this game as I was with Birthday Kid, I still found it adorable, intriguing, and charming. There isn't a lot of lore to unpack with this lil one, but I still want to share my thoughts about what the true story behind it all really is~

Yes, I will be loading this post with official Arachne art. Leave me alone, she's adorable!

So, a little synopsis to start. Spider's Web is less of a... horror game and more of a spooky mystery with horror elements. Which is fine too, I love those just as much! Throughout the game you play as Arachne, exploring your house and learning bits of information about your mother. Arachne is obviously very aware of all the lore you discover while exploring, but it's presented in a very mysterious way for you as a player, which helps make the game more intriguing.

Additionally, the game very subtly hints you in the right direction to discover everything necessary in the game. It even pushes you to experience all of the bad endings before unlocking the True Ending, which is a mechanic I really enjoyed.

Although you aren't aware of it when starting the game it becomes very quickly apparent, regardless of what ending you unlock first, that Arachne is a young Jorogumo (spider-woman yokai) living with her mother. Not only is her mother a widow, but it's heavily implied that their species of Jorogumo is specifically belonging to the "true widow" genus of spiders. More on that later.

Each ending divulges a little more detail about Arachne's situation with her mother as she struggles to find a way to leave the house. Unlocking these endings all involve an interesting series of puzzles revolving around blood splatters, hidden rooms, and thirsty spiderplants. However, those aren't the only important things about these endings; seeing as there are several bad endings and only one good ending, which is also the True Ending, it stands to reason that most of these endings are representative of poor decisions that Arachne could have made.

Because of this, I think the best way for me to explain my thoughts would be to elaborate on the symbolism of the bad endings first. Buckle up, kiddos!

The easiest ending to unlock is the Bloodlust Ending. Why? Because all you need to do is interact with all of the blood splatters in the house.

Relatively straightforward, this ending is what would happen if Arachne were to give in to her instinctual bloodlust and devour her first human. Of course, this would be a mistake on her part because she gives in to becoming a monster, which is a fate Arachne has the ability to change for the better.

The next easiest endings to achieve are the two where you use Special Scissors to cut the web covering the front door. At that point, Mother appears and chases you, prompting you to get a different ending depending on whether she catches you or not. If she does catch you, it's pretty likely that Mother kills Arachne out of anger and betrayal, and if you happen to escape then Arachne abandons her Mother on bad terms.

Both of these endings clearly represent Arachne's potential mistake of trying to run away without settling things at home, which could come with major consequences. For real, guys, you can't run away from your problems and expect them to disappear.

Another bad ending, Like Mother Like Daughter, is the only ending achieved by unlocking the Cellar. There you meet Mother and witness her several cocooned victims hanging from the ceiling. It's implied that Arachne gives in to her bloodlust in this ending as well, devouring the victims alongside hr Mother.

Moral of the story?

My best insinuation is Willpower. Arachne makes the mistake of giving up what she believes in (not eating men whom she doesn't love) and becomes exactly like her Mother. Which is something that we later on come to understand that Arachne really doesn't want to do.

The last bad ending is also particularly alarming. You achieve it if you do everything necessary for the True Ending but make the mistake of interacting with any of the blood splatters. Here, Arachne finds her mother's bedroom, looks in the mirror and has a massive panic attack as she realizes that she's all alone and will seemingly never find love. Arachne then cuts at herself several times with the Special Scissors until she dies...

This ending explains to us a few different things:

• Arachne apparently suffers from severe depression stemmed from a deep loneliness.

• Jorogumo instinct is so powerful that the only way for Arachne to retain her innocence is to avoid temptation altogether. Pretty insightful considering spiders represent temptation itself.

• This ending would most likely happen eventually if Arachne never manages to leave the house, even after the endings where she becomes a monster.

• This is actually a callback to the intro of the game, where Arachne muses that she's essentially suffocating. That is very clearly the beginnings of a panic attack (triggered by feeling trapped in some way) which implies that throughout the entire game Arachne is fighting off this growing sense of anxiety and pressure.

Now for the True Love Ending -- the good and canonical ending with the most details of the story.

Essentially the moral of the story here is that if Arachne can manage to resist her Jorogumo instincts, then she can achieve happiness by becoming a better person than her mother. But, this can only be achieved by remembering the True Love that Arachne's father taught the two of them.

Here, we learn that Arachne's Mother would date (and possibly marry) men time and again before devouring them. That is, until meeting a man who embraced her spider-side and appreciated her for it, rather than treating her like a monster.

That man became Arachne's father, and the two were very happy together. However, unfortunately when he began to shift his love from his wife to Arachne, Mother became so jealous that.... Well, it's implied that Mother devoured him out of jealousy, and then immediately regretted the action so badly that she refused to ever marry again.

Arachne grew up, but has been struggling and struggling to find a suitor for herself, and whenever she disapproves of one Mother will devour them instead of Arachne.

In the end, Arachne has come to the realization that she wants to go out into the world and find someone who loves her the way that her Father loved Mother. This is the only way that she'll be satisfied, but for pretty obvious reasons she's unsure how to break the news to Mother.

Still, Arachne succeeds because she finally understands that everything her mother has done...has been a show of her love. Despite possessing the Special Scissors, Arachne refuses to cut Mother's Web. Instead, when Mother appears Arachne tells her that she loves her, but it's time for her to find the True Love that her Father taught them both about. And finally... Mother understands Arachne's desires, and allows her to go out into the world.

Arachne untangles the web instead of cutting it, symbolic of preserving her connection to her mother instead of severing it as she had on all of the previous endings.

This ending was.... really sweet and beautiful. Definitely worth all of the tedious puzzles to unlock.

Although this game is very mature and leaves some to be desired, it's definitely a fun game worth experiencing!

I'm especially intrigued with the amount of research the creators seem to have done on widow spiders, since Mother only shows up when you touch her web, and in my own research I turned up...

It stands to reason that Mother shows up only when you touch her web because she can feel the vibrations through the silk!

Such a cool little detail...

Well, that's it for my analysis! If you have opinions or theories to add, please throw em in the comments!

‼️ DOWNLOAD LINK‼️

Please experience the game for yourself here!

[myucornerorg]

After reading a couple nonfiction books from the library (one being the "clean living" book seen in the first pic), I decided to read some of the mangas downloaded to my Kindle.

The first one I read was Magilumiere: Magical Girls Inc, which I already posted about. As for the others in the first pic, I actually finished The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash first after Magilumiere, but since I finished it and My Stepmother and Stepsisters Aren't Wicked on the same day, Goodreads listed them weird. Then yesterday I started the manga in the second pic, My [Repair] Skill Became a Versatile Cheat, So I Think I'll Open a Weapons Shop.

The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash is one of those "reincarnated with a past life's memories in a fantasy world" kind of fantasy stories, which I think is an Isekai subgenre?? Usually it's used with "reincarnated as a villainess" stories, though, and this doesn't seem to be that kind of story (unlike other similar stories, we're not told where the main character, Ivy, came from or how she got reincarnated into this world at the beginning - only that she has memories of a past life...so that already is different). Anyway, in this story Ivy gets ostracized when she's identified as a "starless," basically someone who has magic but at a zero-star level, which makes her magic so weak she's basically useless. Even her own family rejects her, and later the kind fortune-teller who helped her learn how to survive in the forest dies because the village chief heard she associated with a "starless" and refused to provide her with the healing potion she needed. After this, she takes off, using the survival skills and basic magic bags the fortune teller provided her with to get by. Having no money at first, she's forced to salvage through town dumps for resources, or eat whatever animals she can capture with traps (she does have a monster taming ability, as the title suggests, but hers is so weak she can only tame super weak monsters). She eventually manages to make some money from selling field mice she captured, and even snakes in one chapter (those she sells to the apothecary). A few chapters in, she encounters a super weak slime that even she, with her weak power, can tame. After naming her Sora, they set off together, and Sora ends up being more useful than Ivy expected, since it can absorb both organic and inorganic matter (most slimes in this world can only do one or the other). It may even be able to heal, if the ending of the volume is any indication. (According to the bonus short story, though, Sora is not very good with directions lol).

My Stepmother and Stepsisters Aren't Wicked is, as you might guess from the title, a take on the classic Cinderella story. Except in this case the Cinderella character, Miya, is the illegitimate child of a rich man, and that man's wife and daughters (the titular stepmother and stepsisters) take her in when her mother dies. But while she expects them to be really mean, they're actually really nice! But the mother is still stern and intimidating, and the daughters are spoiled and always trying to one-up each other, so their kindness kind of comes across in a comedic tsundere sort of way. Miya constantly worries that she's offended them, only for them to respond completely positively, no matter what happens. It is funny, but at the same time I feel like such a gag might get old after a while. Not sure though.

As for the last one, My [Repair] Skill Became a Versatile Cheat, So I Think I'll Open a Weapons Shop, like I said, I just started reading it. It's a fantasy about dungeon exploration, much like the Delicious in Dungeon series I've been watching on Netflix recently. But this one obviously has a different story. The main character, Luke, is a seasoned adventurer with 15 years of experience under his belt, but since his only skill is [Repair], a skill which has next to no usage in combat, he's still an E-rank adventurer (the lowest rank that is allowed to do dungeon raids). He finally got recruited by a powerful hero to join his dungeon raiding party, only to be treated as their pack mule and ultimately betrayed by the hero over a relatively minor issue (that doesn't even seem to be his fault). Left by his former party mates in the dungeon to die, he resolves to at least find a way out, even if all he has is his [Repair] skill and an old sword the hero gave him out of pity. Fortunately for him, he's able to make his [Repair] skill evolve seemingly subconsciously (hence the "cheat" part of the title, I guess), which, combined with finding a shortcut by punching a hole in a rock wall with his sword (something even the hero in his party couldn't do), allows him to finally escape after 2 weeks. He then helps save a samurai girl named Sakura who is cornered by a dragon by lending her his sword, and then using his [Repair] skill to heal her (he's not sure he can at first, since the skill doesn't usually work on living things, so when he succeeds he's as surprised as anyone - also doing so DOES make him pass out for half a day, so he's not crazy OP, like heroes in these stories often are). After making it to the settlement where Sakura and her friend Sylvia (daughter of the local innkeeper) are living, he decides to take a break from adventuring (at his level, he can't re-enter the dungeon he came from by himself anyway, as adventurers can only enter dungeons that are at their level or below, unless they're in a party with a leader of the right level, which Luke was before) and use his [Repair] skill to open a weapons shop, since the town doesn't have one currently (probably because the forest where Luke found Sakura and Sylvia just recently got classified as a dungeon). And, as far as I've read, this seems to go well (the fact that he helped kill a dragon certainly helps bring in customers). He does get into a bit of trouble with some local knights, though, because the members of his former party have gone missing, and since he got out alone, he's a prime suspect behind their disappearance. Also, he harvested mithril from the wall he broke, which only certain people are allowed to harvest (though to be fair he didn't know it was mithril, so he gets a pass there, though the knights still make him replicate how he broke the wall as proof of his story). And that's about where I'm at in the story.

Definitely enjoying my reads so far!

[prissybrittplays]

Elle & Kaiden Stephenson

Introducing Elle & Kaiden Stephenson! I recently opened their save file again (from February 2023!!!) and I was shook when I saw that Elle graduated high school and aged up to a young adult. They both attended Foxbury for about one semester but Kaiden received numerous calls about attending the NFL combine (Elle did too - we obvs declined) and he was drafted. I let him withdraw from university and then realized that Elle didn’t need a degree to be an Actress so I let her withdraw as well. Fast forward and they have both reached the top of their career fields! 

I play with the long life span on so fortunately/unfortunately they’re both like 74 days into the Young Adult age and have already accomplished so much. Now I'm looking for more mods and ways to play because they’re both pretty much set! 

A little background on Elle:

She is the daughter of Stella and Miles Kimbrough. I can’t remember since it’s been awhile, but I think I downloaded Miles from the gallery specifically for Stella because she needed a man. He was in a household with like four other male sims so I just let her take her pick. Stella is also a Silver Screen Icon and Miles is an Author and they have both recently aged up to Elder. I’m going to eventually go in and update that household so they can retire and enjoy their life in Brindleton Bay!

Traits - Art Lover, Active, Self-Assured, Insider, Creative, and Cheerful to name a few

Career - Silver Screen Icon (Actress)

Public Image - Pristine Reputation and Global Superstar

Elle is definitely one of my favorite sims after Harmony Harmon (i’ll get to her save file in a new post!). She is just so fabulous! She’s admired by almost everyone who comes in contact with her and is the real definition of #thatgirl. I’m excited to continue playing with her and her husband! 

A little background on Kaiden:

I initially created his household so that Elle could have a friend during her high school years. When I opened the file again, Elle was in a relationship with a guy named Tristian. I randomly saw Kaiden and well…Elle moved on tee hee (Her and Tristian are still cool though! And I set him up with a few ladies). Anywho, Kaiden is the son of Kason who is an Athlete and Camille who is in the Education career field. What’s interesting is that I somehow never added the relationship info while in CAS, so Kason and Camille are literally roommates who share a child. I guess I could go in and change it, but it’s been fun watching them sneak around and have their fun. As an only child, he is super close to both of his parents and they tend to join him and Elle on their vacations!  

Traits - Cheerful, Adventurous, Creative, Active, Romantic, and Outgoing to name a few

Career -NFL Legend (National Football League)

Public Image - Pristine Reputation and B-Lister

What's next for the lovebirds:

After a magical proposal in Sulani surrounded by close family, they were off to Tartosa for their wedding and have now settled in Oasis Springs (my favorite world!!!). Since Elle can pretty much get gigs at any time, we tend to travel on Kaiden’s off days and they recently returned from a quick little getaway in Henford-on-Bagley. 

For the most part I just play with full autonomy and let them do their own thing while I'm in the background trying to decorate their new home and figure out how to use poses!!!! So while I do that, enjoy some pics I took while trying to figure out the pose player.

[should-be-sleeping]

Today an official officer of the court showed up while I was with our neighbor and served her formal eviction papers. She could barely move at the time and had to summon the last of her strength to get out of her chair and move to the door so that the man could explain the process.

Even knowing I was not legally able to accept on her behalf (he asked if I was her daughter and as much as I would've liked to say yes, for her, I know legally I couldn't), he still spent most of the time talking to me, as she was in too much pain to understand the legal mumbo jumbo.

She has five days to contest the action (but no answer about what comes after that)? Which I've encouraged her to do. The reason listed for eviction is owed rent and she has money orders and witnesses who've seen her try to pay what she owed from when she was hospitalized. As well as documentation of being hospitalized, like I mentioned previously. So it's not just like she's been negligent.

I wish she'd let me help her deal with management here... but every time I tried she assured me another friend of hers was helping her with that and she didn't want to confuse it getting more people involved or waste anyone's time being redundant. This is why you should always be redundant anyway, I guess.

I had her immediately reach out to the other person who had been helping her navigate the social security process and then I helped her find and take her anxiety medication because she was really spiraling and I don't blame her. I used some post-its to clearly mark the forms she needs to fill out and submit before Friday and then I tried to just

Exist with her.

Get her mind off of it for a bit. It's freaking Sunday. Can't do anything until Monday anyway. I assured her that contesting was in her best interest, despite the hassle. I know the court can wave the fee to submit documents if you're below the poverty line (she is) and supply legal council. The hard part will be having to do all of that. Which is what these corporations that own all of our houses are counting on: you giving up without a fight.

It's barely even about her rent, it's more about her lease. If she's gone, they can bump rent for the next tenant to the "market rate" which is like an obscene amount more than what she currently pays. Or what they could raise it by when she renews her lease. Corporations should not be able to purchase residential property. You'll never change my mind on this.

She kept apologizing for how freaked out a strange man pounding on her door had made her, and for how upset she was now. I told her it was okay. It's understandable. I told her I was glad I was there to make her feel a little safer, I mean, what would've happened if he walked up on her while she was semi lucid, sitting outside alone? I just.

I sat with her until she started to relax a little. She told me some stories about her youthful misadventures, namely the worst flight she's ever been on (tiny jet during a violent thunderstorm, basically felt like riding a bike over speed bumps the entire time only you know, thousands of feet in the sky), and about how she used to decorate her whole place whenever the 49ers played. Inside and out.

She wanted so badly to watch today's game but without internet she had no way to do that. So, I used my phone as a hotspot and helped her re-download yahoo sports so she could at least follow the scores and highlights in real time. The amount of joy this brought her meant everything to me.

Speaking of apps. The other day she wore a beautiful dress and had me take her "last photo." I took dozens, really let her feel seen and beautiful, so she could pick her favorites.She told me she was bisexual and was worried I'd judge but she just wanted someone (still alive) to know. I told her about how I took a girl to prom. She wanted to put the photos on Instagram but couldn't without internet to re-download the app. So tonight I did that for her too. Next week we worry about eviction, for now we help in other ways.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I hope it at the very least contains a few small acts of kindness.

Tough day today... and friendly reminder that being human is easier when we help each other.

I saw one of our neighbors, an older woman we sometimes talk to in passing, sitting outside of her house. I don't know what exactly made me look twice, but on second glance as we drove by I realized her walker was in the grass. She was otherwise just sitting there, like she had a thousand times before, so it would have been easy to assume she was fine and go on with my life as normal but something told me to go check in on her anyway.

She was not fine. She was the polar opposite of fine. Just diagnosed with terminal cancer not fine. No next of kin not fine. A veteran facing eviction from her house for missing rent while in the hospital not fine. In constant debilitating pain not fine. Only semi-lucid not fine. She was extremely alone not fine.

I thought, at most, she might be bored while unable to pick up her walker not fine. A five minute detour from my day not fine. A help her back into her house and say "see you later!" not fine. Instead I spent the last three hours with her because she was so scared and alone and no one should be alone.

We talked a lot while I was there. She's actually two years younger than my mom (who also has cancer but slightly better luck, I guess). I helped her into her house and got her a drink and we talked about what all is going on with her. None of it was good. I was as reassuring as I could be, but there's only so much of this I can actually help her with.

"Why did you come?" she asked through tears.

"Because you looked like you might need some help."

She called me an angel. I told her I was just doing my best. I told her that kindness should never be rare. That we should all try to make the world just a little bit better than it was.

She offered to pay me but I told her I was just there as a friend. Before today we were basically strangers. No need to repay me with anything other than her company, I assured her. She cried, a lot. I managed not to somehow. Something tells me she had needed to cry long before this but in being Strong she never had the chance to.

She needed to get her mail, which is a long walk when you're disabled because it is not at all handicap accessible (across a parking lot, over a bridge, across a small field). So I helped her get her mail. We stopped every three feet because her pain was so bad, but she was determined to be able to go do this with me and not just send me on an errand. I patiently stayed with her and reminded her, through her apologies, it was fine to take our time: there was a nice breeze and birds were singing. She appreciated this. She loves nature.

Halfway back she said she wanted to go to the pool. To put her feet in the water. She loves water, and has not been able to even see the pool in a month. Neither of us were dressed for swimming, but I took her to the pool anyway. There is a stair leading down to it, meaning she couldn't bring her walker, so I offered her my arm.

We went to the pool. She put her feet in the water and then, with more energy and enthusiasm than I'd seen the whole time, she jumped in. In her fancy dress! She was instantly ten years younger at least, clear and happy, floating in the sun. Dress and all. She grew up with a pool and had been on a swim team.

I sat by the edge of the pool while she swam, keeping her company and also making sure she was okay. When she got tired I took her back home and then had to help her get undressed and redressed. I made sure she felt no shame. Getting out of wet clothes is hard for anyone, let alone someone with like twenty pounds of tumors racking them with constant pain.

She was so fucking happy to have gone swimming.

She is trying to "make everything right" before she goes. Trying to repay her debt to society and her debts in general. She couldn't understand why the corporation that owns our houses wouldn't take her money. She was genuinely distressed -- not to be homeless on her deathbed but to not leave this world with a clean slate. I told her intent matters. She can only do her best.

This company not letting her repay her debt was their fault, not hers.

When I finally needed to go, I told her to let me know any time she needed a hand or just wanted company. She told me she was going to die tonight. I told her I hoped not, so I could see her tomorrow. I offered her a hug, we hugged and she sobbed for a solid ten minutes into my shoulder. I told her she was okay. That it was okay.

When I got home I cried myself, because I could not believe she was going through all of that alone. I cannot even imagine how isolated she must have felt. Once I pulled myself back together I sent her a text reminding her to reach out any time and I'd do my best to come over. Like, any time at all.

I hope she is here tomorrow.

[arogaba]

artemis and her spouse toby arroyo from @abstractwithturkey

[leascorner]

j.b.b. | Marley

Summary: Eventually, Bucky gave his deepest secrets away and you let him know yours. Her name was Marley.

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x single mom!reader

Warnings: Mention of past and present relationships, parenting, mention of food

Word Count: 3.7k

a/n: This is my first story posted on here. I’ve been writting for +12 years now but for the last couple of years, I couldn't finish a single story. Turns out Bucky Barnes was all I needed to get over my massive writer’s block. Feedback is greatly appreciated. (Also, english is not my native language so if you spot any grammar mistake, please let me know!)

Masterlist

It all began with his friend, Sam.

On a night they were out for drinks, he had made it his mission to find someone for Bucky. Someone or anyone for the matter. He talked to everyone in the bar that night, while Bucky drank his beer, sitting at the counter. When it was clear enough that nobody there that night would keep grumpy Bucky company, Sam turned his attention on the dating app his friend had downloaded on his phone some weeks ago. He probably went through a dozen of profiles, sometimes showing the phone screen to Bucky, to what he would just respond by rolling his eyes and drinking some more beer.

That was until Sam showed him your profile. Bucky stared a second longer to the picture displayed on his phone screen than for the others. He couldn't tell what that was: the smile on your lips, the wrinkles at the side of your eyes or simply your eyes; but he couldn't get his eyes off it. Sam immediately started typing a message for you to what Bucky obviously protested. He did not need company because he was just fine on his own.

Despite his super-soldier abilities, he wasn't quick enough to take the phone from his friend's hands. The smile that appeared on Sam’s face annoyed Bucky even more. "What are you afraid of, though guy?" Sam had asked and Bucky eventually backed off, letting him do whatever he was planning on doing. There was no point in stopping Sam. He knew you wouldn't be interested anyway... To be honest, who would be? Bucky got his phone back along with a smirk from his friend. There was no answer after that, and Sam eventually found another topic to annoy the heck out of Bucky.

When he woke up the next morning, your reply notification was patiently waiting for him. For a second, he thought of deleting it, without having a look first. What did he have to lose? Gathering his courage, he opened it. Your words were as genuine as your smile and it made him grin like an idiot, though he made a mental note to later murder Sam for his poor choice of pick-up line. It took him the whole morning to be able to type an answer and another afternoon to press the ‘send’ button. It was the first text of many. Eventually, a lot of texts turned into calls; that turned into meeting up in your favorite French bakery; that turned into movies and restaurant dates.

    This was nearly one year and a half ago.

Your relationship with Bucky was cautious and steady. He liked how you would give him his space, but still being right there for him. He liked that you let him stare at you in total awe or that you always had small kind thoughts for him like when you made his eggs the way he preferred in the morning and that everything was so simple - obvious even - by your side. Eventually, Bucky gave his deepest secrets away and you let him know yours.

Her name was Marley.

If Bucky was being honest, finding out you had a two and a half years-old daughter was quite the shock. Not that he couldn't have seen that coming; you would always make plans, your handbag was always full of snacks and hand wipes and for some reason, you would never be available between five and eight p.m. That was also what he liked about you. The stability.

The idea of being involved in a relationship with somebody that already had a child did scare him off. If he decided to continue the relationship, it would not only be a matter of breaking your heart in the process – and well, maybe his too - but breaking a child's heart too. And that more than anything, he was refusing to assume the responsibility, but he owed you that much. You knew his deepest secrets and still, you didn't run away from him. Worse, you trusted him to be around your child.

You both had a lot of discussions about him meeting Marley - Bucky even seek advice to Sam. And as for the rest of your relationship, you took it slow. It started with Bucky showing up to your Sunday walk in Central Park, feeding up the ducks and sharing snacks. You also spent some time at the carnival where he would watch you two on the carousel – sometimes joining the ride too - and he would help Marley win at pick a duck or buy her popcorn. Eventually, he would spend more time with the two of you. It started with spending at least one evening per week at your place, making dinner while watching you playing with Marley in the living room. One evening turned into two, three, five evenings per week. He still could step out if he needed. You still could spend time with your daughter where he wasn't there. You still spent time just the two of you, when Marley was asleep at night or he would take you on date nights. The routine you three put in place was nice, but Bucky wasn't planning on taking Marley’s dad place. God, he would never see himself as a dad and Marley already had one - though in Bucky's opinion, he would not be awarded father-of-the-year.

    Today, Bucky was picking Marley up from daycare.

He had done it a million times already, but this time was a little bit different. He was doing it on his own. The babysitter stood you up and you were stuck in an endless one-day meeting. You had called in utter panic, asking him to pick Marley up from daycare and taking care of her until you would be home. He had assured you he would do it and it would be fine. Now that he was standing in front of the building, he was doubting himself. He didn't know if he could do it on his own.

Another shaky sigh and Bucky entered the building. The childcare workers greeted him when he showed up at Marley's room. She was sat at one of these tiny tables making some kind of collage crafts. He planned on waiting for her to finish, just staring like he always did, before announcing himself, but Marley spotted him the second his figure appeared at the door.

"Bucky!" Marley cried out, leaving everything behind and running towards him.

"Hey Mar-Mar," he smiled. She always seemed happy to see him and Bucky wondered if she would eventually grow tired of him being always around.

After they hugged each other, Marley was called to put away her crafts and Bucky encouraged her to go do it. In the meantime, he collected her stuff - her panda backpack, shoes, and coat - so he could get her ready to leave. And he did just that when she got back to him.

"We are taking the train home. I'mna carrying you, is that okay?"

She wrapped her little arms around his neck in response and he lifted her up from the floor. After sharing goodbye to the childcare workers, they were heading home.

    On their way to the station, Marley explained in every detail what she had done at daycare that day; Bucky was listening carefully, sometimes asking questions - Carol, she is the one with the curly hair, right? Was Mark mean to you again? - but mostly he was just nodding along. They made it to the station just in time to take the 5:17 p.m. train. It was rush hour and Bucky mindfully chose to hop on one of the cars at the end of the train - the ones he knew would be the less busy at this time of the day. He had only seven stops, so he didn't sit and stood against one of the train windows. By that time, Marley had finished reporting on her day, and she was just watching around, smiling at anyone she would make eye contact with.

After the second stop, her eyes caught the sight of the dog tag around Bucky's neck. She fiddled it through his T-shirt, probably wondering what that was, before taken it out to have a closer look. In her tiny hands, the metal tag seemed to be huge. She looked up at Bucky, with bright eyes and he swore, he would do anything for these eyes.

"What is that?"

"Uh- " Bucky wasn't sure how to explain it in a way a three-years old would understand. "-Every soldier has one. It uh- has my name on it and some other information."

"Is it if you get lost?" she asked, her little eyebrows raised high on her forehead. She did understand a lot of the world around her for her age. "Mommy put a card with her name and her phone number in my bag."

"Yeah, it's something like that."

Marley smiled at him and returned her attention on the letters’ reliefs on the metal. By the fourth stop, she was resting her head on his shoulder while he was still firmly (but not too much) holding her with his left arm. She kept holding his dog tag in her tiny fist and was patiently waiting.

"She is very sweet," the old lady sat on the seat in front of them said to him before leaving the train.

He nodded shyly and looked back at the little girl in his arms. Marley looked so much like you. Her face had still some baby features, she just turned three after all, but she had the same nose and her eyes had the same color as yours. They were the same piercing eyes that when they’d look at him, he felt like they could read his soul. And she did not just look like you. She had also some of your habits and personality traits. She would always be smiling to people she didn’t know. She was always saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’. She was obsessed with any kind of animal; the Sundays walks would last forever if she could pet all the dogs she encountered.

The rest of the ride was quiet, and Bucky got off the train on the seventh stop as planned. At the station, people turned on them as they passed. Maybe this was an odd sight: a man in combat boots, dark jeans, and a black leather jacket, carrying a small child in his arms. Especially knowing the kid in question was wearing white leggings, a red fluffy coat, and a stuffed panda backpack. Bucky didn't mind and continued his way to your place.

    Marley stayed quiet for the five minutes’ walk to your place, but once Bucky had turned on your street, she wriggled to be freed of his hold. Once her feet touched the ground, she directly ran towards a car parked not far away. She squatted down and started clicking her tongue. A ginger cat immediately came out from underneath the car.

"Careful," Bucky called out. He knew it was not recommended interacting with stray cat as they could be sick with all sorts of disease. And to be fair, it got him a little worried the cat was getting this close to Marley. He could already see her getting bitten by the cat, getting rabies, and losing her arm, or worse: dying.

"That's Gus, he lives at number 7," she said pointing at the building they stopped in front. It had the number written on it.

Gus started rubbing itself against Marley's shins and she gently petted his back. The cat then went to rub on Bucky's combat boots, also greeting him even though they never encountered before. And it continued his way to the building's porch, where it lazily lay down.

"Mommy said we could have a cat when we get a house."

"I've got a cat," Bucky stated and Marley cried out in excitement. She asked him about a hundred questions. What was its name? What was it looking like? Was it friendly? Was it sleeping in his bed with him at night? Bucky never failed to answer one of her questions and they talked about that until they made it in front of your apartment door.

    Marley was already on her way to her room when Bucky turned around after locking the door. She had removed her shoes and coat on her own and left them behind without putting them away like you would always request it.

"Uh-uh, we go wash your hands first, okay?"

After that was done, she ran to her room for good this time. Bucky went back to the living room and focused on what he could do to help you. He knew you would get home exhausted from your day at work and he did not want to have you do all the chores you usually did. It was the least he could do.

Somehow, your place was always tidier than his, and he lived on his own. In the kitchen, he found breakfast dishes in the sink and the dishwasher full of the dishes that had been cleaned the night before. That was where he would get started. He put away the dishes easily; he had been around your kitchen a lot those last months and he knew exactly where everything was. He even knew where you were hiding away the chocolate and candies; somewhere Marley didn't have access to.

"Hey Bucky, can I have snacks?"

A look at the watch sitting on his right wrist, she had still a good hour and a half before dinner and he replied positively. He wiped his hands on the dish towel resting on his shoulder and took one of these bamboo sectioned plates he just washed. He was reaching out to the first cupboards in front of him when it suddenly appeared to him, he had no idea what he could give her.

"What does your mom usually give you?" He asked Marley, turning back to her.

Marley shrugged. "Carrots and hummus." And Bucky swore this kid was eating healthier that he ever had.

He started by the fridge, looking for anything he could give to Marley. Thankfully, she wasn't a picky eater so it would be easy for him. Tonight's dinner was in it, along with some vegetables and fruits. He chose grapes because it was the only food, he could see himself eating at that time of the day.

"Grapes and uh-" he looked at the cupboards right next to the fridge "- crackers?"

Marley nodded. Bucky prepared it all on her plate, making sure there was just enough for her to be full but not too much so she would still eat dinner, and handed it to her. She carried it carefully to the living room, Bucky following behind. She had laid out all her crayons on the coffee table next to her Paw Patrol coloring book. He knew about this cartoon because it was the only one Marley ever wanted to watch, she was literally obsessed with it, and she did make him watch some episodes with her. He knew that, when she was playing alone in her room, she would usually pretend she was saving the world with them.

Bucky sat on the carpet, next to Marley, stealing one grape from her plate. She threw him a death glance but offered him some more if he would help with the coloring. He happily complied.

    Before dinner was normally bath time. Thankfully, you had said over the phone you would deal with that in the morning. For some reason, Marley did not like baths. A little bit of water in her eyes or ears was too much for her to handle and he wasn't sure he could deal with her being so upset on his own.

He still got her changed in her pajamas - she obviously chose the one with the dalmatian puppy from Paw Patrol you had agreed on buying a few weeks ago; washed her face with a cotton pad and some cleansing lotion, brushed her hair and tried the best he could to tie them in a low ponytail. You would normally braid them for the night, but this was not something Bucky mastered at all - he made a mental note to watch some tutorials on YouTube to learn though.

"Will you and mommy get married?" Marley asked out of nowhere while Bucky was carrying her back to the kitchen to have dinner.

"I don't know," he said, confused. "Why do you ask?"

"I prefer you over my real daddy," Marley admitted. And it broke his heart. Bucky knew how her dad forgot about her third birthday and missed most of his custody days lately. He didn't really understand how somebody could have a child and knowingly decide not take care of them anymore.

The child in his arm was so precious. It amazed him every day how much she could comprehend of the world around her. She was smart, creative, kind. She knew what she wanted, would be very stubborn about it and would do anything to get it – you always said you didn’t understand where she got her fierce mind and Bucky laughed every time because he knew exactly from whom she had gotten it: you. You did such a good job raising her on your own. He also knew you would always choose her over him, and he had to admit, it made him fall in love even more with you.

"Even if I'd marry your mom, I still wouldn't be your daddy officially."

"To me, you would," Marley concluded as if it was as simple as that.

Living with you two permanently. Marrying you. Bucky never thought of it. He liked how this relationship was working: the kindness, the trust, the love. He loved the movie dates with you, the Sundays walks, and the evening just the three of you. He loved how simple it all was and how it made him just happy. Happiest he had been in a long time. And he wondered if he wanted more. The way his heart was fluttering in his chest made him realized, he did. He didn't know if he was ready though.

    Back to the kitchen, he put her down on her seat before getting the casserole of potato gratin out of the oven. He put a small portion in her plate, next to some chopped carrots and apple sauce he already prepared. He put it down in front of her and sat next to her.

"Will you eat with mommy?"

"Yeah, is that alright?"

She nodded, rubbing her eyes. They had stayed coloring her books a little too long and it was nearly her bedtime. Smiling softly, he encouraged her to eat. She did while asking some more questions on his cat in between each mouthful. How old is it? Why did you name it Alpine? Has mummy already met it? Do you think she'll like me? Turned out this little one never run out of question.

After dinner, Bucky gave her a small portion of chocolate from the special cupboard and they agreed it would be their little secret. Then, he carried her to the bathroom to brush her tiny teeth. It was started to be late for her and she was clearly fighting against sleep, the lack of it upsetting her.

"I want to see mommy," she cried, lips trembling and eyes full of tears.

"I know Mar-Mar, she'll get there soon," Bucky tried to comfort her. You hadn't text yet, meaning you weren't on your way still. He knew Marley would be asleep before you got home. "We can read a book in your bed while we wait for her, yeah?"

Marley nodded and let Bucky carry her to her bed. She had her head rested on his right shoulder the whole time. She crawled under the covers the moment her body was dropped off on the bed. She let Bucky choose the bedtime story and he chose the one he knew she liked so much.

He laid beside her gently and she immediately reached out closer to him. He wrapped his right arm around her, and her hands somehow found his dog tag again. A small kiss on her forehead and Bucky started reading the book in his left hand. Marley was listening carefully, helping him by turning the page.

At the end of the story, she was fast asleep against him, his dog tag still in her tiny fist. Bucky did not dare moving, afraid he would wake her up if he did. He observed the small child against him and listened to her soft breathes. She looked so peaceful and it made him thought of the way she had welcomed him into her life. Just like you, she had taken him as a whole; with his trauma, his insecurities, his quietness, and his staring habits. And now, she had him wrapped around his little finger. He knew deep in his guts he wouldn't let anything happen to you or your daughter. He realized that now. That made him think some more: maybe he was ready after all. And this time, he would not let happiness slip away from him.

  Bucky stayed like that until twenty minutes later, when you showed up on your daughter’s room doorstep. You looked exhausted yet still radiant. A smile had formed on your lips at the sight in front of you. It made you melt right on the spot.

"Hey," Bucky greeted you softly.

You came closer, walking on your tiptoes, careful of not waking up your daughter. You laid besides them, kissing your daughter little fist, and tucked yet another strand of hair behind her ear. You looked back at Bucky, who was intensely staring at you. His left arm was already wrapped around your shoulders, bringing you close. You kissed his jaw, making him smile gently. "Thank you for taking care of her. Did it go okay?"

"More than okay." He kissed your forehead while you snuggled closer to him. His heart could burst of the feeling of having you two near him forever.

He wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

[atlafan]

The Real Him - One Shot

a/n: I’m not sure where this came from...a lot of this is sort of how I feel about writing, and reading, and how my brain works???? Hope you enjoy cause it’s fun! Book Writer!Harry x Y/N (not proofread) 

Words: 9.6K

Warnings: Fluff, wee bit of angst, and smut

Books weren’t things Y/N found interesting. She hated reading the assigned books in high school for whatever English classes she had to take. She often would just read what she needed on Sparknotes, and that was enough. Then, in college, even if she wanted to read for leisure, she didn’t have the time. She had to read articles and academic journals constantly. By the time she was done for the day, the last thing she wanted to do was read.

Now, as a young adult living in the city, she noticed her anxiety was always worse at night. She lived alone in a little studio apartment, it had a wonderful view. She would watch TV or scroll on her phone until she fell asleep, but the screens were too much for her eyes. She knew it wasn’t good for her. Much to her friends’ shock, she texted them asking them for book recommendations. Y/N didn’t want to think too hard, she didn’t like scary stories, but she also liked a little bit of world building and romance. Fuck, if there was anything she loved, it was a good romance. Her friends told her about this young author they discovered whose stories were enthralling.

She took their word for it, and ordered one of his books off his website. He was self-published, which she found to be interesting. How good could he be if a major publication didn’t want him? She trusted her friends’ opinions though, so she went with it. He had this series called, The Unicorn in the Farmer’s Pool, that they raved about. She told herself she’d start with the first one and see how it goes. Sometimes Y/N had a hard time concentrating to even read a book, so she didn’t want to buy too many.

The title of the book itself was odd, but when she read the description she understood. Apparently, it was about this young woman, new to town, who was going for a walk with her younger sister, and one day they come across this beautiful old home and large farm. There was a pool in the back with one of those big unicorn floats, which they both found odd. They see the farmer outside, and the woman inquires about it. He explains that it’s his daughter’s. He and his wife were divorced, and she moved out to the city. Unfortunately, she passed away, so his little girl came home to live with him.

It was a certified slow burn, so when it came in the mail, Y/N couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. There was only one picture of the author, Harry Styles, on his website. The book, however, had a lovely picture of him on it. He even named his publication company after himself, trademarking HES Books. He was handsome, there was no denying that.

“Alright, let’s see how well this guy knows how to write thing from the perspective of a woman.” She says as she settles into her bed with the book.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N found a book that she just couldn’t put down. Sure, she passed out with it on her chest, but she’d get right back to it the next night. She was ripping through it. Her heart would race anytime the farmer and the woman had a scene together. She cried when he spoke about his divorce, and how he never slept knowing his daughter was so far away. He’d never wish his ex-wife ill, but he felt like it was fate to have his daughter home. He’d give her anything she wanted, even a giant unicorn float for the pool. Something she couldn’t have in the city. His daughter would paint his nails glittery colors, and he didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought of it. Y/N could feel her heart pounding as the woman slowly fell for him. They became fast friends but it was clear they wanted more, but they were both so scared.

“Oh, you son of a bitch.” She says to herself when she gets to the end of the book, it was a cliffhanger. They hadn’t even gotten together yet. They were caught in a rain storm, about to kiss, but they were interrupted. “Goddammit.” She groans and grabs her laptop to buy the rest of the series. “Welp, Mr. Styles, you now own my ass, I hope you’re happy.” She sticks her tongue out at his picture on his website.

By the time she finished the third book, she was inconsolable. It thrilling, but she knew it couldn’t be the end for the two who were now so in love with each other. She also couldn’t believe how well written their love scenes were, a little shocked there was a small dash of smut. She looked on his website and saw he was set to release the fourth and final book of the series soon, and there would be a big release for it. He would do a reading and signing. Y/N texted her friends and they all agreed they needed to go. They still couldn’t believe how much Y/N liked the series. It consumed her soul, she couldn’t get enough. She even bought his other standalone novels to read until the release.

Eliza: hey! HES just released the first book on audio, and he narrates it! Should hold us over until the release ;)  

Y/N: holy fucking shit! Literally about to go download it, thanks!!!

Now this was a way to fall asleep, she thought. She plugged her earbuds into her phone, turned her light off, and hit play. She gasps the second she hears his voice.

“He’s British?!” She says to herself. “Dear god.”

His voice was deep and sultry, and sounded incredibly crisp through the audio. Each night for the rest of that week, she fell asleep to the sound of Harry’s voice; it was euphoric. She felt sort of weird for becoming as big of a fan of him that she was. It was like she was in high school again having a crush on some unattainable celebrity. She couldn’t even talk about him to anyone at work. It was like this big secret between her and her friends. Instead of listening to music in her office, she started listening to interviews or podcasts he was involved in. Anything to just get a better understanding for who he was or how his mind worked. She found that he was incredibly private, only tweeting or posting on Instagram from promotional purposes. A PR person most likely running the sites for him.

“Okay, I think I’m obsessed with him, like, it’s bad.” She tells her friends at brunch one Saturday morning. They would all try their best to get together a couple times a month.

“Welcome to the dark side.” Eliza says.

“I knew if we didn’t push you that you’d come around at some point to ask us for a book rec.” Melinda says.

“You could have just showed me his picture, he’s so handsome! I can’t wait to go to the signing. I wonder what type of suit he’ll wear. Maybe all black?”

“I heard he’s into florals lately.” Eliza says. “I’m glad we got our tickets when we did, it’s going to be packed.”

“Yeah, like, at least we’ll have seats for the reading.” Melinda says.

“I can’t believe we’re going to hear his voice in person. That audio book? Oh my god.” She pretends to fan herself. “I’ve been enjoying his other novels too. He has such a way with words, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a book this much. Maybe The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” She chuckles.

“Didn’t you read that in high school?!” Eliza laughs.

“Yeah!” Y/N laughs, and Melinda joins in. “I fucking hate reading. I wonder if he’ll ever sell the rights and have it turned into a movie or TV series.”

“People have been begging him. He said maybe once the fourth book has been out for a bit. He didn’t want to feel pressured, like, you know how with Game of Thrones the books didn’t come out fast enough for the series?” Melinda says.

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I think a TV show would be good. Then they could take their time with it. The only thing is I can’t picture someone playing the farmer other than him.” Y/N sighs.

“Agreed.” Eliza says. “I can really only see him.”

“So, how are we dressing for the signing? I don’t wanna look desperate by dressing up too much.” Melinda says.

“Melinda…” Y/N starts chuckling. “You have a girlfriend.”

“I’m aware.” She swats a hand at Y/N. “But damn, Harry is too fine.”

//

Y/N curls the ends of her hair on the day of the signing. It was finally here, and she couldn’t be more excited. She found a cute yellow top to wear with some high waist jeans. She does some simple makeup, but makes sure to have her eyes pop. The rules were that people could only bring one book with them, so she grabs the first in the Unicorn series. She fully intended to buy the new book as well, and they said he would sign all new purchases too.

She meets Melinda and Eliza outside the bookstore where it would all be happening. They get in line to buy their new books, and head to their seats. They were able to snag tickets for the second row. He would be reading the first few chapters of the first book, and then would spend the rest of the time signing books.

“I’m so excited.” Y/N whispers to both of her friends.

A man comes out shortly to check the crowd of people waiting, and soon it’s announced that Harry would be coming out. Everyone stands up and claps for him. He was wearing a sleek black suit, and his hair was pushed back off his face. He looked bashful as he smiled out to everyone, and stood at the podium provided. Everyone sits back down as he clears his throat.

“Thank you all so much for being here. Whether you’re a new fan or if you’ve been with me for years, I appreciate your support. It feels surreal for this series to be over. I’ve loved these characters so much, and when I finished the final edits, it felt weird saying goodbye. I also want to say thanks for all the support with the first audio book. I fully intend to do one for the rest, it just takes a lot of time and editing, so hold tight for me, alright?” The crowd giggles, and his dimple grows deeper. He takes a sip of the water provided, and opens the book. “Let’s get started shall we?” He looks up at the audience who was waiting patiently. He makes eye contact with Y/N. It’s brief, but he looked at her…or at least she told herself he did.

His voice was just as smooth in person as it was on the audio. Y/N was swooning, barely paying attention to the words, but more so watching the way his lips moved. The way he’d lick his lips after getting a sip of water, and watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. It all felt like a dream. He ended up reading five chapters instead of three, as a treat, until his manager came out to remind him to wrap it up.

“Right, well, I’ve been told I’m done speaking.” He chuckles. “I just need about ten minutes and I’ll be able to sign all your books. Thanks so much!”

He leaves as everyone claps for him again. Everyone gets in line and waits for him to return. There was a table waiting for him to sit at and a ton of markers.

“I wonder how long we’ll get with him. Like, a minute, right?” Eliza asks.

“Make every second count.” Y/N says.

“I’m gonna try to take a selfie.” Melinda says. “Then I’ll really remember it forever.”

As the girls got closer to the front of the line, Y/N felt herself getting nervous, and her palms were starting to sweat. She tries to wipe them on her jeans before she gets to him.

“Hello, love.” He smiles at her. “Whatcha bring f’me?”

“Huh?” She was so taken aback.

“Well, I know you didn’t come here to have me sign a body part…unless you did.” He shrugs. “Although, I don’t think my manager would appreciate that.” He winks at her and it makes her giggle.

“I have the first back, and the newest one.” She hands them both to him. “I have to say, I’m not really a big reader, but this really drew me in. I think I’ve fallen in love with reading for the first time in my life.”

“That’s like…I mean…wow, what a compliment, thanks.” He signs both of the books. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He repeats as he continues to leave a nice note in both of her books. “You know pictures aren’t allowed, but if you turn around and happen to take a selfie they can’t stop you.” He points to the few guards.

Y/N turns around and takes a selfie with Harry. She turns back around and chuckles as she takes her books back.

“Thank you so much. I can’t wait for the next audio books.”

“You liked the first one?”

“Loved it.”

“So, it wasn’t weird listening to me for that long?”

“Not at all…” She starts blushing. “Your voice is sort of, um, soothing…I have a lot of anxiety at night, and, well, reading, and evening listening has helped me sleep a lot better. So, thanks again.” She smiles at him and he smiles back.

He wished he could hug her. He looks back at his manager, who just sighs at him and nods. Harry stands up from the table and walks around. Before she knew it, his arms were being wrapped around her. She got a whiff of his cologne, and she swore it was her new favorite smell in the world. She barely got a chance to put her hands on him before his manager said it was enough and Harry needed to get back to it.

“Sorry, that was just so endearing.” He lets go of her and sits back down. “Thanks for your support.”

Y/N steps aside and looks at her friends who were waiting for her to finish up. She looks back at Harry who was already talking to the next person. She sighs, knowing she was long forgotten already.

“Oh my god, I took a picture of him hugging you.” Eliza says. “What was it like? All he did was shake my hand.”

“He smelled so good.” Y/N whines. “Girls, let’s go out for drinks tonight. I need to get some energy out.”

“Great idea! We can drink and then dance the night away.” Melinda says. “What did he write in your books?”

“I don’t wanna look yet, I wanna save it.” Y/N smiles and holds her books close to her.

//

After grabbing dinner and dropping their books off at Y/N’s place, they all head to their favorite dance bar. They all get their drinks and stand near the bar to drink them. Y/N was happily sucking on her straw, swaying along to the fast beat of the music.

“Look, they actually roped off the VIP section.” Eliza points out. Y/N and Melinda turn to look.

“I wonder who’s here. Once in a while someone cool shows up.” Melinda says.

The group in the VIP section erupts into laughter, and the girls’ eyes grow wide. Harry was standing up from the booth, looking much more casual. He still had his dress pants and button up on, but his sleeves were pushed up, revealing his tattoos. He strides up to the bar as he shakes his head back at his friends. He brushes right by the girls, bumping into Y/N, causing her to spill her drink.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, love.” He says to her, and then he looks her up and down. “Do I know you?” He slurs slightly.

“Um…we…we met earlier today. You signed my books.”

“I signed your what?!” The music was really loud, he must have thought she said something else.

“Books, books!” She really enunciates the k sound.

“Oh!” He bursts out laughing, and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I was gonna say, that sorta thing isn’t really my style. What are you drinking, I’ll get you a new one.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. There’s still plenty in here.”

“Don’t be silly, I feel terrible. In fact,” He looks at Melinda and Eliza, and then to the bar tender. “Their next round’s on me. I also need another bottle of Patron for my table.”

“Coming right up!”

“Lost a bet with ‘em.” He rolls his eyes. “So the next bottle’s on me.” He shrugs.

“We’ll bring it over to you.” The bar tender says as she puts up three new drinks for you and your friends.

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“S’the least I can do. Your support is the only reason why I can afford what I have. I should buy your drinks all night.” He smirks.

“Y/N.” Melinds grabs her shoulders and whispers in her ear. “Go for it, bitch, go for it. He’s hitting on you. We’ll be over there.”

She lets Y/N go and drags Eliza with her over to another part of the bar. Y/N grabs her drink and smiles at Harry.

“Your name’s Y/N, right?”

“You must have seen hundreds of people today, how’d you remember?”

“I’m really good with names.” He grins. “Do you want to join me and my friends?”

“What?!”

“Come on, seems like your friends are busy anyways.” He nods over to Melinda and Eliza where Melinda was working as a wing-man for Eliza. “They’re bringing over the Patron, you’ll love it.” He grabs her wrist and brings her over. One of the body guards raises his eyebrows. “I’m baacckk, let us in Mike.” Mike lifts the rope up and lets Harry and Y/N in. “Everyone this is Y/N, she’s got to be one of my biggest fans, so she’s joining us.” He pulls her down into the booth with him and puts his arm around her shoulders.

He was drunk, this was very clear. No one seemed bothered by her presence. Everyone was just happy to have refills for their drinks. Harry takes a shot of the Patron along with everyone else as Y/N sips on her drink. She felt bad, Eliza had to be a bigger fan of Harry, or at least she had been a fan longer…

“So, how’d you know he’d be here?” Harry’s manager, Jeff, asks.

“I didn’t.” She blushes. “My friends and I come here all the time.”

“Right, like we haven’t heard that one before.” Jeff smirks. “Some of you fangirls-“

“Oi! Don’t make fun, she’s cool.” Harry defends her.

“I can prove I’ve been here plenty of times.” Y/N takes her phone out and shows them her Facebook page. “There, you can see how many times I’ve checked in here. I only live a block away, so this tends to be the spot.”

“See, Jess, this is the spot.” Harry smirks, and knocks back another shot. “We’re being rude, here.” He slides a shot over to her. “Have as much as you like.”

“That’s okay, I have this.” She points to her glass.

“Oh, I knew I liked you, you’re so nice.” He pulls her a little closer to him. “But really, if you want any, you can have as much as you want, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Y/N sort of just sits there and tries to listen as each person talks, but the music was so loud, and she was itching to dance, especially now that she had a couple of drinks in her. She was drumming her fingers mindlessly on the table.

“Do you want to dance?” He whispers in her ear. A shiver goes up her spine. She looks up at him and nods. “Alright, let’s hit it then.”

She gets out of the booth and he quickly follows her out to the dance floor. At first it’s just light and playful, he keeps one hand in hers, but keeps a respectable distance. If Y/N was dancing with her friends right now she’d probably be popping her ass no problem. She sort of wished they were still around. She couldn’t remember the last time she danced with a guy. She looks at him and feels a little bold, so she hooks an arm around his neck and dances close to him. His hands move to her hips as she essentially grinds on his thigh. When the next song starts, she turns around to grind her ass against his pelvis. He presses forward against her and she can tell he’s very happy to be dancing with her.

“You said your place was only a block away?” He says into her ear, and she nods. “Wanna head there?”

She stops dancing and turns around to face him.

“Are you serious?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, too forward?”

“No…I just…um…yeah, let’s go back to mine.”

He smiles and throws his arm around her shoulders. He looks over at Jeff who was still sitting with their friends. He waves off to him, and heads out side with Y/N. Harry whistles for a cab, and one pulls up almost right away. They both get into the backseat, and Y/N gives the driver her address. Harry rubs circles into her shoulder. She rests her hand on his knee, as her leg shakes with nerves.

“You alright, love?”

“Mhm, yeah.” She doesn’t look at him.

“No need to be nervous, babe, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

She looks up at him now and smiles. She wanted to do everything with him. It was like every fantasy she had was coming to life. She had dreams about this, but never thought it would come true. The cab pulls up in front of Y/N’s building and they both get out of the cab. She keys into the front door and she leads him to the elevator.

“I’m surprised you’re not exhausted, must be draining to meet so many people.”

“Caught a second wind.” He winks at her. She giggles as they get off at her floor.

She leads him inside as she flips the lights on.

“It’s just a studio.”

“It’s nice, just enough space. You’ve got a great view.” He says as he walks over to the window.

“Yeah, I got really lucky.”

“Mind if I pull the curtains?”

“Not at all.”

She watches the muscles in his back flex as he reaches to pull the curtains closed. He turns to face her and walks over to where she is. He cups one of her cheeks and she leans into his touch.

“I have to be honest, I don’t usually do this.” He says.

“Do what? Hook up with a girl from a bar?” She smirks.

“No, hook up with a fan…” He sighs. “But what you said to me earlier about your anxiety and how my books have helped you, it stuck with me all day. I’m really glad I ran back into you. I got kinda nervous when you didn’t message me.”

“What? Why would I have?”

“I wrote my number in your book.” He lets go of her and steps back. “You didn’t read my notes?”

“No, I…I was saving them for when I was feeling down.” She admits, a little embarrassed. “Why did you put your number in it?”

“In case you ever needed someone to talk to…if you ever got sick of listening to the same story over and over. It was a little impulsive, but no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“I’m surprised by that.”

“Usually people just tell me that they enjoyed it, or they try to flirt or something. It’s usually pretty hollow.” He shrugs. “But you…” He takes her hands in his. “Well…if you noticed, I didn’t really hug anyone else.”

“I did notice. You made me feel really special, Harry.”

“I’d like to keep making you feel that way…”

He releases her hands, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Her hands slide up through his curls, and she gets up on her tip toes while his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close. His lips brush over hers, and she pulls his face closer to hers to deepen the kiss. She smiles against his lips which makes him smile and pull back.

“What is it?”

“I just…I can’t believe this is happening…” She presses her hips closer to his.

“You’ve thought about this before, with me?”

She nods her head yes and he smirks.

“Is that weird?” She asks, cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

“Who am I to judge what helps someone fall asleep at night?” His voice was low now, eyes darker than they were moments before.

Maybe this wasn’t something either of them should be doing while inebriated. But from lack of better judgement they start kissing again. His hands slide down to cup her ass, and his large hands give her a squeeze. She groans into his mouth, giving him the perfect excuse to lick into her. Her tongue molds to his, and she starts pushing him to walk back towards her bed. He happily lets her lead the way.

The back of his calves hit the bed, and he almost loses his balance. He sits down and brings her with him so she’s straddling his lap. Lips only breaking for a moment to get some air until they’re on each other again. Her hands lace through his hair and he groans when she tugs on him. His lips move to her jaw and then to just under her ear. She gasps when she feels him suck on the tender skin. Her hips roll down over his, and he smirks against her. He licks over the spot he was sucking on, and goes back for more. She grinds herself against him, feeling his bulge press up against where she needs it most. His lips move back to hers so he can nip at her bottom lip before looking at her.

“You want this?” He asks.

“Wouldn’t have said yes to coming back here if I didn’t.”

“You could have changed your mind between the bar and now.” He tucks some loose strands of hair behind her hair. “I meant what I said earlier, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to, do you?”

“I certainly didn’t change my mind.”

She smiles and leans in to kiss him again before getting off him. She reaches behind him quickly to snag one of her throw pillows to put on the floor. She sits up on her knees before him and reaches for his for the button on his dress pants. She looks up at him as he widens his legs for her. He wasn’t expecting a blow job, but he wasn’t one to turn it down. She pops the button and undoes his zipper. She reaches into his pants and palms him through his boxers first. His palms were flat on the bed, his arms keeping him up, but he can’t help but let his head fall back from her touch.

“Harry, look at me.”

He immediately does as she says so he can make eye contact with her.

“Is this okay? Can I take it out?”

“Yeah, please.”

She smiles and tugs his pants and boxers down slightly, he lifts his hips up to help her. He unbuttons his shirt while his dick slaps up against his lower stomach. She gazes up at him. Once his shirt is off, she can’t help but look over all his tattoos.

“You’re so…pretty.” She chuckles.

“Not as pretty as you.” He runs his hands through her hair, giving her a little encouragement to get started.

She blushes as her eyes fall to his hard cock, tip swollen and ready to go. She licks her right hand and gives him a few pumps first. He grunts as he watches her. She licks a stripe up from his base to his tip before she wraps her lips around him. His eyes flutter closed for a second, but he didn’t want to miss anything so he does his best to keep his eyes open to watch her work on him. She already had small droplets of spit rolling down her chin. Sloppy, he thinks to himself and he smirks. She sinks a little further down on him, testing herself to see how much she can take. He thrusts up slightly to meet her halfway and she gags on him, needing to pop off for a moment.

“Sorry, been a while.” She mumbles, and gets back on him.

“No worries, doing great, love.”

He helps keep her hair back as she starts to bob up and down on him. Her warm mouth felt so fucking good around him. She swallows around him before really hollowing her cheeks to suck on him. Her mouth moves up to his tip so she can lick away at his slit. She wraps a hand around him to pump him as she does this.

“Baby, baby, hold on.” He pants, and moves her face away from him. She looks up at him with big, innocent eyes that were slightly watery now. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.” He sounded almost out of the breath. She nods and stands up. His hands grips her hips and then slide to the button on her own jeans. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” She says, taking off her shirt. He looks up at her and kisses on her chest as he undoes her pants.

He yanks them down her legs. He smiles at her mismatched set of underwear. She had worn a white bra with her yellow shirt, and a simple pair of blue panties with her jeans.

“I didn’t think, um, I would be…it was a girl’s night, and-“

“Do you really think I care about your underwear not matching?” He raises an eyebrow at her as he smirks.

She smiles and rests her hands on his shoulders as he kisses on her lower tummy. He stands up to kick his pants away, and lets her get on the bed. She lays on her back, propping herself up with her elbows. He crawls onto the bed and settles between her legs. His lips find hers as he grinds himself against her covered center. She bites her bottom lip, just wanting her underwear gone. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra. After a few seconds of fumbling he gets it, and watches the bra loosen around her. She pushes it off her shoulders, and tosses it to the ground. His hands cup her full breasts immediately. He kneads them and tweaks her nipples. She grinds her hips up towards his as they continue to move against each other. He dips his head down to kiss on her chest, and he rolls a nipple between his teeth. He works his way down her body and slides her underwear down her legs, tossing them aside where he feels like. She parts her legs for him.

He dips his down and licks from her center to her clit. He does this slowly but with precision. Her hips buck up towards him, encouraging him to keep going, so he does. He licks all around her until his lips are around her throbbing clit. He nibbles and sucks and flicks his tongue while his fingers explore her folds. Her hands were in his hair. She kept thinking she was going to wake up. Any minute now she would snap out of her dream. She would pinch her eyes closed and expect to see the morning sun creeping through her windows, but not this time. When she opened her eyes there he was, head between her legs, lapping away at her. The clouds covering the moon and night sky. He had her whimpering and tugging at his hair. He wanted her to come, but not yet, just get her to the brink. She pouts at him when he lifts his head. He licks his lips and smiles at her.

“Got any rubbers?”

“Mhm, in the bathroom, I can-“

“I got it, just tell me where.”

“The box in the cabinet below the sink.”

He pecks her lips before going into her little bathroom. He smirked to himself wondering how he might shower the next morning. He was taller than the showerhead. He bends down to open up the cabinet and spots the box of condoms. It was opened, but not many were missing. Not the he was one to judge. Harry hooked up a lot. He grabs a couple, just in case they feel like getting frisky again later on, and heads back out. He rips the foil packet open and slides it on over his length. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation.

“Tell me something,” He starts as he gets back on the bed, between her legs, hovering over her body. “When you had me in your thoughts was it ever like this?”

He rubs his tip against her clit, getting her to moan out. He pushes into her entrance but doesn’t go much further until he gets his answer. His eyebrows were raised, looking at her.

“This is usually the part when I’d wake up.” She whispers. “Before anything good could really happen.” She cups his cheek and runs her thumb over his cheekbone. “Please.”

He kisses her as he pushes the rest of the way inside her. They both groan. She was so wet, even with the condom on, it still felt amazing. He was nice and snug inside her. He moves slowly at first to not hurt her. He hooks an arm under one of her legs to bring it up a little higher. He wanted to get in as deep as possible. She clutches at his shoulders as he drives it in.

“Oh my god.” She gasps as his tip brushes her g-spot. “Jesus Christ.” She grits her teeth.

“Ever had anyone like this before?” He says into her ear.

“Never this deep, shit.”

He sits up and puts both of her legs over his shoulders. His fingers press bruises into her thighs as he holds onto her. She looks up at him as her mouth falls open. He was ramming into her and it felt so good to fuck like this. She didn’t want to be treated delicately. What he was doing was amazing, but her clit was missing the friction, so her hand slides down to rub at it.

“Fuck.” He breathes as he watches her touch herself. He lets go of one of her thighs and moves her hand aside so he can rub it for her. Her head rolls back the second she feels his thumb on her.

“Just like that.” She pants. “Don’t stop.”

He grunts his response as he continues to fuck her. He could feel her tightening around his cock and he knew she was close. He rubs her a little faster, and watches as her body contorts under his.

“Let go, come on, show me how you do it, Y/N.”

That pushes her over the edge. She cries out as she comes around him. He rubs her still, but slows his pace to help her through it. She tightens around him again as she comes down from her bliss. He drops her legs and pulls out. He sits up against her headboard and pulls her into his lap. He doesn’t have her face him, though, he has her sit on him facing away. Her head rolls back against his shoulder once she sinks down on him. She uses her knees to push herself up and down on his cock. He bites down on her shoulder, licks up to just under her ear to suck on the tender skin again. His hands find her bouncing breasts, and he kneads them.

“Harry.” She groans.

“Feels good, love?”

“So good.” She turns her head and sticks her tongue out slightly so he’ll kiss her. His tongue meets hers and they practically slobber all over each other as her pace quickens on him.

His hands slide down to her hips to help her. He thrusts up into her to get into a rhythm. He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of his spine.

“Fuck, oh my god.” He moans, which makes her moan. She tightens around him. He wanted her to come again, to come with him, so he rubs her clit while she continues to bounce him.

“Shit, fuck, Harry!”

They come at the same time, both of them crying out form the intensity. He gives her a second to catch her breath before he lifts her off of him. She gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom to clean herself up. He goes in after her to rid himself of the condom. She was about to throw on a t-shirt when he comes back out.

“Don’t bother.” He smirks.

“What do you mean?”

“It’ll just come off again.”

“Oh.” She blushes and puts it back into her dresser.

He gets on the bed with her and pulls her close to his chest. His fingers run up and down her back lightly, causing goosebumps to raise on her skin. She rests one of her legs on top of his, and wraps her arm around his torso. She wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy to fuck him again so soon, especially when the rhythm of his heart beat was lulling her to sleep. Her eyes flutter closed. He looks down at her and smiles when he sees her lips parted. He kisses the top of her head, and slowly falls asleep himself.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up cozy, head stuffed into her pillow, blankets wrapped around her. It was darker than usual. Her eyes flutter open and see the rain falling down. She hears it tapping delicately against her windows. It was a normal Sunday morning, or it would have been if she hadn’t completely forgotten there was a warm body wrapped around her. She rolls over slowly not to disturb the stranger. She gasps to herself when she sees it really is Harry Styles, not just some guy that looked like him. She really took him home with her and she really fucked him. He pulls her closer to her and she sighs.

“Your bed’s comfy.” He mutters.

“Thanks, I’ve got one of those foam pads under the sheets. Makes a world of difference.”

She feels his chest rumble as he chuckles. She feels him press a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling away slightly.

“Mind if I grab a shower?”

“Not at all.” She smiles up at him. “If you don’t mind smelling like my fruity shampoo, that is.”

“You’re funny.” He chuckles again and stretches as he sits up. He rubs his eyes, and gets out of the bed. Y/N couldn’t help but ogle his naked body as he walks away. He pops his head out of the door frame to look at her. “Are you coming?”

“Oh…you wanted me to-“

“Obviously.” He scoffs. “Wouldn’t mind fucking you again, either.”

Normally she’d wrap herself in a blanket, but if he was going to be bold, then so was she. So she gets out of bed and struts over towards him. She brushes her teeth quickly as he uses some mouth wash. She gets the water in the shower going.

“Does that head detach? I don’t know if I can crouch for that long.” He laughs.

“Yeah, it comes right off, don’t worry.” She pulls back the curtain and they both get in.

She helps him wash up, scrubs her nails over his head as she washes out the shampoo, and once they’re both clean, he hoists her up against the wall, and kisses her. She was plenty wet for him, and he smiles against her as he slips a finger inside her.

“You were ready f’me, hm?”

“Guess so.” She nips at his bottom lip, which delights him.

“Mind if I just slip it in like this and pull out after?”

“That’s fine.” She smiles. “Wouldn’t mind actually being able to feel you.”

“Christ.” He groans, and then pushes his hard cock inside her. Her head rolls back against the tile as his lips attack to her throat.

It was a nice, passionate morning fuck. When they’re done she gets him a towel, and wraps one around herself. He watches as she runs around to make her bed back up. It was a small apartment, so any clutter just made it look even smaller. He grabs his phone out of his pants pocket, and sighs.

“Alright?” She asks, sitting on the edge of her bed. He comes to sit down next to her.

“Yeah, just a ton of missed calls and texts. Thought I made it pretty clear to Jeff I wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel last night.”

“Do you have a plane to catch or anything?”

“Not today, tomorrow though.”

She watches as he types away to respond to the dozen or so texts he had form various people.

“Would you like any coffee or anything? Juice?”

“Just a black coffee would be perfect if it’s not too much trouble, love.”

“Coming right up.”

His eyes flicker up to watch her bum and hips sway as she walks into the kitchen area. She fills up her Keurig to get his coffee going.

“No cream or sugar, just black?”

“Please.” He smiles. “Thanks.”

She nods and gets a mug down from her cabinet to place under the machine. She thinks he’s talking to her for a moment, but when she looks over she can see he’s on the phone.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’m well aware, thanks.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m allowed to go out and have some fun.” He crosses a leg over the other so he can rest his elbow on his thigh, propping his chin up with his palm. “She’s making me a cup of coffee, is that alright? No, I don’t just carry those in my back pocket…” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll take care of it. Alright, bye.”

She comes over to him with a mug for him, and one for herself. She added a bit of cream to hers. She just couldn’t do black coffee.

“Thank you so much, feel like I’m about to get a headache.” He says, taking the mug from her, smacking his lips after he takes a sip.

“I have some aspirin if you need some.”

“Caffeine should work just fine, but thank you.”

“So, uh, not that I was listening in or anything, just, small space and all, but what don’t you carry around in your back pocket?”

“Oh.” He chuckles. “An NDA, that’s all. Jeff’s gonna email one over to me any second I’m sure.”

“What do you need an NDA for?”

“It’s not for me, it’s for you.”  She looks at him deeply confused. “I’m a very private person, and not that I think you’re the type to go around spouting your business, it’s just, well, you’re a fan and…”

“You need me to sign an NDA so I won’t tell anyone we fucked?”

“Basically, yeah. Sorry if that makes things a little awkward. It’s just to keep my personal life personal, that’s all.” He takes another sip of the coffee. “This is really good, what brand is this?”

“Green Mountain Coffee…it comes from Vermont.”

“It’s delicious, I’ll have to look into it.” He smiles, although she can tell she’s starting to feel uneasy. She’s painfully aware that this was just a drunk hookup, a one night stand. “Are you alright?” He puts a hand on her knee.

“M’fine, just a bit groggy.” She sips her own coffee.

“Well, I’m starved, you’ve gotta be too, right? What a good place to grab some breakfast around here?” He stands up and starts looking for his clothes.

“Um…there’s a place right down the street.”

“We’ll have to take a cab unless you have a really big umbrella.” He smirks as he pulls his boxers on.

“Do I have to sign an agreement saying I won’t talk about breakfast too, or?”

Harry sighs as he pulls his pants on. She looks at him as she sips her coffee.

“Guess I’ll find out when I read the fine print.” She stands up and walks back over to her kitchen area. He follows her there with his mug and sticks it in the sink.

“Why is it such a big deal?”

“It’s not, I just…I mean…what do you think I’m going to do? Go onto a blog and spill every detail about last night? As if I could remember every little thing.” She scoffs and rinses out her mug.

“You easily could. You have to understand, sometimes when stories slip or people feel like they know things about you, it’s harder to get deals or make business decisions. I want to be taken seriously, so I don’t post personal things on social media, and I have the people I hook up with sign NDA’s.”

“Well, maybe I should have you sign one for me then.” She says, crossing her arms. He raises an eyebrow at her. “How do I know our night together won’t be inspiration for your next love scenes? You’re quite descriptive in your works. You must take from real life when you’re writing those things.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll text Jeff and have him email me two, one for each of us. I won’t talk about you and you won’t talk about me. Now, can we please go get some breakfast?”

“Why do you even want to go anywhere with me if you’re so scared of people finding out?” She walks over to her dresser to pick out an outfit she wouldn’t mind getting wet in the rain.

“It’s one thing to be seen with someone at a diner, it’s another to have what you’re like in the bedroom aired out to millions of people.”

“It’ll be obvious we slept together. My neck is littered with kiss marks.” She taps over one of the spots. He watches as she wriggles a pair of panties up her legs, and then a pair of jeans. “You’re also wearing your clothes from last night.” She tosses him his button up.

“I don’t suppose you have a large t-shirt I could throw on?”

“I’m sure I could find one.” She find a bra and t-shirt of her own, and then rummages through her pajama drawer for one of her larger bed shirts. “Here.” She hands him the shirt. He puts it on and looks down at it.

“Cute.” He smiles. “You can keep mine, and I’ll keep this one, how’s that sound?”

“Guess I’m just glad that’s not my favorite one.” She grabs her raincoat and umbrella. She furrows her brows and then remembers where her rubber boots on. “Could you order an uber or something?”

“Sure.”

They get down to the street, and head into the car he ordered. The diner was busy when they got there, but since it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to wait long to be seated. Harry’s phone pings with the email from Jeff.

“So…I just need to digitally sign it?”

“Mhm.” He hands his phone over to her so she can read over everything. He rests his chin on his palm. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone read over it so diligently before.”

“I’m a lawyer.” She mumbles.

“No shit.” He sits up, suddenly even more intrigued with her. “Good for you.”

“Well, I’m in law school, and I work as a para at a law firm, but I’m getting there.” She says as she uses her finger to sign her life away. “I’d like to read the one he sent to you for me.”

“Just swipe to the next email.”

She nods and looks it over. It was the same as her. She hands him back his phone and watches him sign it.

“I’d like both copies emailed over to me.”

“Alright, what’s your email?”

“I’ll put it in.” She takes his phone back and puts her information in, sending herself the copies. “There.” She crosses her arms. “Happy?”

“Yes, actually.”

A waitress comes over to them, and they both order scrambled eggs with bacon, potatoes, and toast. It’s quiet between them for a few moments. She looks out the window to watch the rain fall, and then looks back at him. He was twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He looks up at her.

“What am I doing here with you? You could have easily slipped out this morning, even last night…”

“I’m not that kind of guy.”

“So…what is this, a consolation before we never see each other again?”

“No.”

“Then what is this?! I feel like I’m not even looking at a real person. I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, and I would have killed for the opportunity to sit down and have breakfast with you. I have so many questions about your work, and-“

“So, ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me all your questions. What can I answer that I haven’t already in an interview? You wanna know my thought process? Where and what I get inspired by? How long it takes me to write a book, a chapter even? I only have bullshit answers, to be honest. I keep notes on my phone for when I get inspired, and then when I’m able to be at my computer I’ll type for hours without stopping. It’s like I blackout or something. It feels like I didn’t even take a second to blink. I’ll work on multiple projects at the same time too. I have three other books I’m currently working, all with completely different topics and characters. I can’t shut my brain off, ever. I don’t know why I’m like this. Even when I go on a vacation to unplug, I have to keep a notebook with me to write things down. I started writing because I just needed to get everything out of my head. I feel a huge sense of relief when I’m done with a piece so I can just move on from it. I had to start my own publication because my content was going to be put in the same category as Fifty Shades, and I didn’t want that. Luckily, Jeff went to school for PR, and he helped me out, and now he’s my manager. He’s the best there is, but sometimes it would be nice to fuck a pretty girl and take her to breakfast without having to worry about every little thing.”

Before Y/N can respond their food is brought over. They both thank the waitress. She picks her for up and plays with her potatoes before looking at him.

“Not to mention, said pretty girl told me how much my work means to her, how it helps her sleep at night. Fuck, I mean, I thought I was going to melt into a fucking puddle right there. My anxiety gets bad at night too, I knew exactly where you were coming from, babe. I can’t tell you how many nights I try to go to sleep and can’t, so I just get up and go back to my computer until I pass out in my chair.” He blinks at her, as she still says nothing. “Are you…not going to say anything?”

“I’m not sure what to say, I’m trying to take in everything you said and match it to the person you were yesterday at that signing. It’s an act, right? Your cool demeanor?”

“I have a stage presence for sure.” He sighs, and takes a bite of his bacon. “What am I gonna do, get up there and tell everyone that the fourth book took so long because I had to have surgery for carpal tunnel?”

“For someone who likes to be so private, you’re sure telling me a lot of personal things.”

“You signed something saying you wouldn’t discuss any of this, so I feel a little freer to explain myself. Have I totally ruined your perception of me? Is this a never meet your hero sort of moment?”

“Not at all.” She smiles. “You seem comfortable with me, which is nice. I like that I’m seeing this side of you, you’re more than just the suave guy I’ve seen in interviews, or listening to on podcasts. You’re a person, just like me.”

“Exactly, so you understand why I might want some privacy.”

“I do.” She nods and finally takes a bite of her food. “I’m sorry if I got a little pissy about it.”

“Don’t be, it’s always an awkward conversation to have.”

“So, how many women do you hook up with exactly? You’re making yourself sound like a player.” She chuckles.

“I mean…I’m a guy who has needs. I’m not gonna lie, I probably do it a little too much, but I don’t usually spend this much time with the person, or if I do…well…it’s not usually like this.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to actually have a conversation with you.” He shrugs. “You peaked my interest.”

“Clearly.” She smirks.

“At least I’ve never rubbed one out to the thought of a famous person.” He smirks back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you consider yourself famous?” She grins at him. “And I haven’t rubbed one out, it’s usually just a dream. Don’t flatter yourself, Harry.” She shakes her head.

“My bad, so I’ll just assume you get that wet for every guy you hook up with?”

Where was this conversation going, and why was it happening in such a public place? Was he trying to rile her up?

“I don’t think this is appropriate to talk about right now.” She whispers harshly.

He smirks and continues eating. They look at each other occasionally as they eat. The waitress comes over with the bill, and Harry throws some cash down on the table.

“Let me pay the tip at least.” She says, reaching for her purse.

“Don’t be silly, I put plenty down for the tip. I’ve got it.” He puts his hand over hers. “Seems like the rain’s stopped, wanna walk back?”

“Do you not need to be anywhere?”

“Nope.” He smiles. “Today’s my free day, isn’t that nice? I’ve got a plane to catch tomorrow morning, and that’s all I have to worry about. So, I’m more than happy to walk you back home.”

She nods and follows him out of the diner.

“So, do I only get your email, or do I get your number too?”

“Why, so you can hit me up whenever you’re in the city?”

“Precisely.” He nudges her as she laughs. “Come on, I gave you mine.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t even look…I would have been so embarrassed, you would have forgotten all about me. I don’t even know if I would have even had the courage to message you.”

“I wouldn’t have forgotten you.”

“Did you manager know you just gave your number out like that?”

“God no, he’d murder me.” Harry chuckles. “Jeff’s great, but he’s way too serious.”

“So, maybe I’ll message you sometime.”

“I prefer chatting on the phone, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Anyone can send a text, but a phone is, like, I don’t know, it’s romantic.”

“Romantic?”

“Yeah, like, a phone is something you really need to make time for.”

She pouts at him and looks at him with big eyes. They stop once they’re in front of her building.

“I come back to the city in two weeks, I really would like to see you again.”

“What are you coming back for?”

“Another signing. This one sold out, and I felt bad. I think anyone who wants to see me should.” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have anything that I do if it weren’t for the people who supported me.”

“That’s sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, I guess we could see each other again.”

“Great, just make sure you call me, okay? Then I can call you, and we’ll just be two people calling each other sometimes.” He blushes.

“Why are you so romantic?” She laughs and wraps her arms around his waist.

“I wish I knew. It’s a blessing and a curse, I think.” He sighs and cups her cheeks. He leans in and kisses her, she happily kisses him back and pulls him closer.

“Do you, um, need to go back to your hotel now?”

“Not necessarily, what’d you have in mind?” He raises an eyebrow at her. She leans up and whispers in his ear, making his cheeks grow hotter. He looks at her, a little stunned. “I definitely have time for that.”

“I figured you would.” She winks at him and yanks him into her building.

She wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. Everything still felt like a dream, only better. Even when Harry had to go off to his next signing, she slept better than she ever had. She called him late one night, much to his surprise, and they spoke for hours. She didn’t have to listen to the same words over and over to fall asleep, she had him, the real him.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with tatooedlaura (Laura Sprys)

Laura has 28 fics at Gossamer, but the big treasure trove of her stories is at AO3, where she has 193 fics. Thank goodness for the richness of the X-Files and for talented, creative people like Laura who can find so many interesting ways to tell tales in the show’s universe. Big thanks to Laura for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Maybe reading mine but reading older fic in general is something I still do and something I still find entertaining. I do wish i could get into my old fics and post a warning that some of those were written before the author: ever had a drink, ever had sex, ever had a boyfriend, ever lived on her own, ever had a real job, or ever experienced much of anything in the real world.

Then again, fanfic is a perfect time capsule for the age and it’s always fun to see where the originals started and how they’ve grown.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Back in the day and up and through today, it has always been a fun experience. From it, I’ve learned to love writing. I’ve learned that fans are crazy, weird, wonderful, generous, talented, committed, passionate, and imaginative. In a fandom, you can think whatever you wish and write about anything you like and because I’ve been around so long, I’ve gotten to watch the storylines shift and the relationships change ...

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Originally, I never had much interaction with people other than ones who sent emails commenting on my fanfic … the internet at my parents house was dial-up and I had to access through the AOL free disks that arrived in the mail so, for the most part, I didn’t have the bandwidth or the connection speed to do more than upload stories and download episode guides.

Good lord, I remember submitting a story and having to wait upwards of two days to two weeks before the new batch of stories was posted ... then ephemeral came around and you could actually have your story up in under a day ... all ya'll who started on tumblr and ao3, you have it great, let me tell you :)

One thing that stands out in my mind still (and I’m still friends with her on Facebook) was a woman from western Canada who I stumbled across somewhere while looking for the blooper reels. She offered to send me her copies on VHS for my collection. I don’t think she asked for payment and one day, a package arrived from a lovely woman near Lethbridge, bloopers playable, tapes labeled in clear printing. I still appreciate that 20 some odd years later :)

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Fandoms are crazy places. Tread lightly at first but enjoy what you want, ignore what you don’t, rewrite what you hate, and write what you love. Don’t be an asshole when you don’t agree with someone … when you do, tell them …

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was on board from the first episode. It was a show about two people who you felt were destined to be together but weren’t, and wouldn’t be for years. It was a cop show about aliens and a monster show with cops. I was in the right place at the right time in the right frame of mind and there was just something that clicked and I never looked back. Friends were not allowed to call me on Friday night and once it switched to Sunday, I made sure that my parents got us on early evening bowling league so we’d be home in time to watch. Even my boyfriend (eventual husband) knew to shut the hell up from 9-10pm, even if he was sitting next to me on the couch (with my parents in their chairs watching as well)

Also, my 56-year-old dad had a crush on Scully from the start so that was entertaining as hell as well

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I have been writing stories in my head for literally as long as I can remember. Watching some episode, I honestly don’t remember which one, I suddenly had an idea for a story about Mulder and Scully. I had never written a story with pre-existing characters before and it was totally foreign to me. How do you write a character with a current storyline. It was weird, it was difficult, it was some of the most fun I’d had writing up to that point.

Suddenly, I didn’t have to explain or describe the characters, think of jobs and mundane things … they already had those … and it was great.

Honest-to-God, my first fic was written, in pencil, on a yellow legal pad by flashlight while lying with my head at the foot of my bed so I could see my parents coming down the hall if they happened to wake up at midnight to go to the bathroom. Later fics were written by the light of an 10” TV/VCR combo with me still lying with my head at the foot of the bed. I still have those old legal pads somewhere and I remember having to type them in secret, having to wait until the house was empty for 20 minutes to an hour at a time. Uploading them was always unnerving because of the slow dial-up and the fact that I didn’t have my own email address, but had to use my dad’s. I’d have to make sure to check it whenever I could, intercept the feedback I’d get off gossamer.

I was such a damn rebel.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Well, I now know how to interact with people given tumblr and AO3 but it hasn’t changed much. I contribute a little more now that I understand posting on social media but mostly, I still just write like a fiend and post, read voraciously and give kudos and likes often, comment some and reblog.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

And nothing, absolutely nothing, has ever caught me like the X-Files did in regards to the fandom experience.

I have shows I watch and re-watch and re-watch but no two characters have ever had me writing and thinking and planning like Mulder and Scully. No other combo has ever made me write upwards of 300,000 or more total and still have plenty of stories to tell.

I’m okay with this.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Aside from Mulder and Scully and the gentlemen three of Frohike, Langley, and Byers … I love all Scully’s nieces and nephews in my ‘Life’ series … I also love Corduroy (picture books), Harold (purple crayon fame), Neville Longbottom, the characters from my own novels, Katniss (book not movie), Anne Shirley, Elnora (from the Limberlost), Will Stanton/Merriman/Barney/Jane from ‘Dark is Rising’ and 10,459 others …

I’m a children’s librarian so most of my favorite books are those written for the younger and YA crowd. I like my job :)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I watch this show all the damn time. I will think about Mulder and Scully when I have nothing else to think about, normally writing and editing whatever story I may have in the hopper at the time about them.

My husband laughs when I have the show on. He knows all the episodes with me and it’s one of my comfort shows that I don’t have to pay attention to when it’s on. During it, I have edited books, decorated cookies, been sick, been recovering, simply wasted a perfectly good day because I could.

My 17-year-old daughter keeps it on while she does homework and works out.

It’s a staple at our house and no one is allowed to make fun of it, even though we all know that parts are completely ‘make fun-able’

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I read fic all the time … I have worked my way through AO3 starting from the beginning and if it was more easily readable on a phone, I’d work my way, once again, through gossamer.

Restated from above: I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I have all kinds of favorites on tumblr but right now, I honestly don’t remember most of the names … I pretty much read everything that comes through my dashboard and every few days, i read through the newest posts on AO3 … I love you all!!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Of X-Files fics, I love my newer stuff … I read “Life” and its sequels every few months … ‘Your Place or Mine’ is another one I will read … actually, I’ll just say it .... I read all my own fic over and over again …

With fic, you get to write the characters as you want to see them and write situations that you want to see … I write for myself most of all and I love to read what I wrote :)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I write them all the damn time. I have tons of snippets and half-finished that I occasionally glean things from but while sometimes, old stuff morphs into new, sometimes, it just needs to gather that dust and live a quiet little forgotten life in some backhand folder on my dropbox account ...

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

First question is answered above.

As for other creative work, I have published two YA novels, have the third in that series in editing … I have five other novels in the hopper in various stages of ‘good lord this needs an edit or twelve’ …

I am writing things constantly in my head or on my laptop … most is crap … stome sticks … some turns into fic and some turns into books …

But the point is, I am writing, in some form, at all time :)

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Some two sentence conversation will spark an idea … the line of a song will inspire an idea … a word will start a sentence which will turn into a paragraph which will tumble straight into a story … and sometimes, stuff just pops in my head for no damn reason at all ...

What's the story behind your pen name?

On gossamer, I am L. Sprys because that was my name at the time :)

On tumblr and AO3, I’m tatooedlaura because my name is Laura and I have, now, six tattoos (yes, I spelled it wrong in my handle but that’s life) … when I decided on the name, I think I only had two

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

They do now … it took me years to crack and tell them … my husband has never read them, nor have any of the people I have told (as far as I know)

Now, I don’t really care who knows … I’ll tell them I write smutty X-Files fanfiction and family-friendly X-Files fanfiction …

I am too old at this point to be embarrassed by what I like to do. If they laugh at me, I tell them they only get to laugh when they’ve published a book and I pull up my books on Amazon … I’ve only had to do that once and it shut them right the hell up …

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Gossamer: L. Sprys

Tumblr and AO3: tatooedlaura

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I love you! I see you! I appreciate you! I hope you enjoy! Don’t judge me for my grammar issues! I will never be able to spell the word ‘excersize’!

(Posted by Lilydale on April 27, 2021)

[shadlad24]

Tumblr Master Post

(Third Mensiversary)

Hey, guys! So, instead of the usual monthly post, I decided to consolidate everything. From now on, I will update the following list and reblog it every 22nd. Enjoy!

Please note that Tumblr either cannot or will not preserve my formatting. So, I have used Google Docs as well. Please click on this link if you’d prefer that. It’s open to all. Thanks!

My posts are almost XWP-related and can be categorized into eight main categories (The pic below is merely for record-keeping and visualization purposes; scroll down for the actual links):

Questions

Curious— Why does everyone think Gabrielle/Renée O’Connor has green eyes?

A Favor to the God of War?— What in the world was the favor Ares wanted from Gabrielle during “Sacrifice”?

Smoking Gun?— Why did Hope knowing Solan’s name give her away as his killer?

Good Luck, Kid!— Why was security so bad in “Maternal Instincts”?

The Love of Your Love— Wasn’t the second verse of this song frustrating and hurtful to Gabrielle?

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares— Why does so little about Ares’s character make sense?

Hard Ask— Can I PLEASE get a willing, able, AND reliable beta-reader for my Xena fanfic???

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares [Reblog]— Three more questions about the god of war

No Way— Is the titular image of “Xena: Warrior Princess” what it seems?

Episode Reflections

Random Thoughts While Watching XWP— funny moments from “A Family Affair,” “Them Bones, Them Bones,” “Married with Fishsticks,” and “Coming Home”

Observations from “Sins of the Past”— fifteen things I noticed while watching the episode for the second time (first after completing the series)

Running Commentary on “A Family Affair”— just what it sounds like XD

Concluding Thoughts on “A Family Affair”— a defense of Hope and Gabrielle

Echoes Across the Years— how Solan’s last conversation with his mother echoed Gabrielle’s first with the warrior princess

Redeeming “Fishsticks,” Part 1— how the adults and themes in Gabrielle’s dreamworld held great significance

Redeeming “Fishsticks,” Part 2— how Crustacea’s monstrous children were re-imaginations of Hope and The Destroyer

Fault— my thoughts on the series finale

Good Luck, Kid! [Reblog]— a fun little extension of the original post showing the impression Gabrielle made on Hope

Original Fanfic Excerpts

The Mother of Hope, a collection of one-shots exploring Gabrielle’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences with/about her daughter

Disparity— Hope’s and Gabrielle’s conversation during the final commercial break of “A Family Affair”

Somewhere— Gabrielle searching Tartarus for Hope while Ares was harassing Xena and Solan in “God Fearing Child”

Super Challenge— the entire Rift Arc summed up in a single conversation, the lines of dialogue coming from each of the twelve Rift episodes of season three

Aperture— Gabrielle’s thoughts the night of her wedding

The Daughter of Duality, Hope’s life story from her perspective

My Great Hope— Seraphin prepares her goddess for childbirth

Hope Rising— Baby Hope makes a terrible mistake

“Tears of a Goddess: Blood Rain,” a one-shot exploring “Motherhood” from the goddess of love’s perspective

Useless— Aphrodite agonizes over what to do when alone with Gabrielle and Eve

Tears of a Goddess, a story in which Aphrodite comes clean about the large part she played in Gabrielle’s life behind the scenes

Gabrielle Rages against Xena— the bard finds herself at Aphrodite’s temple, heartbroken and lost after the series finale

Aphrodite Ribs Gabrielle— Aphrodite complains about Gabrielle’s mishaps throughout the show

Rapprochement, a story about Xena and Gabrielle hashing out The Rift Arc before finally coming together as a couple

The Answer— Xena reminds Gabrielle of who she is

Divine Intervention— Aphrodite blesses Xena and Gabrielle’s union

Adventures in Moving Forward, a chronicle of Aphrodite’s and Gabrielle’s adventures together post-AFIN and all my other XWP stories

Stranger— Aphrodite protects Gabrielle from a mob in Brittania

The Betrayer, Gabrielle's untold experience during “The Deliverer.”

Disturbance— Xena makes an unexpected suggestion on how to stop Gabrielle’s recurring nightmare

Deception— Khrafstar fills multiple voids in Gabrielle’s heart

Defilement— Reality slips away from Gabrielle with the loss of her blood innocence

Desecration— Gabrielle becomes one with darkness

Dissolution— The return of Gabrielle’s hero brings about only more tragedy

Fan Theories

Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes— how Xena and Gabrielle got their children through equal and opposite people and circumstances

Shazam!— how Xena might be able to come back after the series finale

Man-Killer— what really happened to Toris

An Unsung Hero— Aphrodite being Gabrielle’s guardian angel throughout the Rift Arc

Infamous, Infuriated— why Xena engaged in the GabDrag (and BardBraining)

Solving Some Problems with Ares— answering two of my own questions about the god of war

Odd, Sort of Beautiful Symmetry— how we ended up with Annie and Harry

Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes [Reblog]— an extension of the original theory that focuses more on Solan and Hope themselves

Solving More Problems with Ares— answering my next questions about the god of war

Episode Cracksubs

The Comedy of Amphipolis— “The Haunting of Amphipolis”

What in the Gurkhan?— “Who’s Gurkhan?”

Them Bones and Boneheads— “Them Bones, Them Bones”

TL;DRs— cliff-notes version of longer posts

TL;DR #1: Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes

TL;DR #2: Infamous, Infuriated

TL;DR #3: The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares

Funny Little Moments— (Five:) a series highlighting overlooked silly things from each episode, illustrated in pictures and cracksubs / (More:) summation posts showcasing additional funny moments from each episode, in half-season chunks

Five Funny Little Moments #1: “Sins of the Past”

Five Funny Little Moments #2: Chariots of War

Five Funny Little Moments #3: Dreamworker

Five Funny Little Moments #4: Cradle of Hope

Five Funny Little Moments #5: The Path Not Taken

Five Funny Little Moments #6: The Reckoning

Five Funny Little Moments #7: The Titans

Five Funny Little Moments #8: Prometheus 

Five Funny Little Moments #9: Death in Chains 

Five Funny Little Moments #10: Hooves and Harlots

Five Funny Little Moments #11: The Black Wolf

Five Funny Little Moments #12: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

Miscellaneous

Golden Ticket— Renee O’Connor’s initial responses to me on Instagram

Bath Time— a fun self-challenge involving making a story from recently downloaded/screenshot images in just a few minutes

Mensiversary— review of my first month on Tumblr

Confirmation/Affirmation— Steven L. Sears’s essay of support for my Furies theory

K.O.— Renée O’Connor liking my comment about ^

Hooray!— The Mother of Hope is finished (kinda)

Aww…— a quick picture post to try something new while I was bummed about the deadly tech bug that obliterated my posts for weeks

Second Mensiversary— review of my second month on Tumblr

NOOO!— a lamentation related to The Mother of Hope

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares [Reblog/Response]— answering a reader

More Funny Little Moments #1: Season 1, Episodes 1-12

*Other

Black Hole— a poem about depression

It’s Nothing— a poem on invalidation

What the?— the beginning of the bug :(

[samkat10423]

Moving in Sims

For the past few days, I’ve been moving in Sims and setting up relationships. Among them was that Riddle Sim, from Twinbrook. Because I wanted to move in her niece – along with the niece’s yappy dog – I needed to make a sibling for Anna-Liza. Since I’d already saved that Racket Sim to my bin, I decided to just make him into her brother – after changing his name.  Then I gave him a daughter. This was a win-win for me, since this world comes with a generic graveyard. And I hate no-name graves. Not only did he help establish a relationship, but I got to kill him and add his tombstone to my cemetery! Go me!

Anyway, Anna-Liza is one of the town’s Censorious Triad and the editor of the town newspaper. One of the other two, card-carrying members is Madame Blanche Robichaux (shown here with her son, Marshal and his “no-good, floozy-of-a-wife,” Trixie. And Trixie’s “nasty, little flea-bitten cat.”). Trixie and Marshal were created by Webbymom of the 3 Musketeers, as part of the Sims Daily’s population thread. (She even made political pictures of him, when I whined, so he’s the mayor in this town. His “sainted” mum is CEO of the local business, while his” tart of a wife,” is a renown painter. As you can tell, by her comments, Madame Blanche is NOT a fan of her daughter-in-law or her cat, who are both actually, nice little Sims). The old lady is a Sim I found about 11 years ago, over on TSR. I liked her, because she was so ugly. I also created 2 more Sims for this family – the patriarch and a younger son. But they’re dead and fighting over in my graveyard. Prior to their deaths, the son got himself engaged to an “unacceptable” young lady, and was immediately booted out of the family. But they did bury him in the family plot – have to keep up appearances, don’t you know! - so he and his dad get to continue their feud for all eternity. (BTW, the 2 Sims suspected in their deaths are buried nearby, and all 4 of them HATE each other. So the cemetery is pretty lively at night!)

Then I moved in these Sims – Frederic D’Aimelefric and Fannie Bellefleur. These 2 were created by nengi65 for that hot pink apartment I showed you a while back. I have always liked them, because they’re not your typical “pretty” Sims. Anyway, she had them in the acting career track, but since I replaced the studio with my festival lot, I put them into Showtime careers. He’s a magician now, while she’s an acrobat. And to help them with their careers, I made him clumsy and forgetful, and her clumsy and a couch potato. I would have opted for chronic stage fright, but EA “forgot” to offer that as a trait. Stupid EA. Nengi described him as having rather grandiose visions of his own, non-existent talent, while Fannie was the stereotypical, dumb blonde. I liked that, so I kept it.

Then, replacing Amy Bull as the town fashionista, I made Felicity Plum. Cameranutz II had made a generic Sim by this name for this world, but I wanted someone with a tad more character. So here she is. She has absolutely no artistic ability at all, which will definitely help her career – or not. But since I’m not stupid enough to let her give me a make-over, it’s not my problem.

These Sims all originally came from Bridgeport – they were that Cook family. They are now known as the Thibodeaux family. The creators of this world did make a family for this world with that name, but again, they were typical do-gooder, pudding Sims. Unlike me, those ladies were not into conflict amongst their Sims. So I didn’t bother saving them. Anyway, believe it or not, other than giving these Sims some CC skins (Buckley-Ephemera Fresh skins) and those default replacement hairs that @maryjanesims3 has been so graciously sharing, and nicer make-up, these are EA Sims. (Well, I did give them some decent clothes). The first time I saw the two ladies, with just the new hair, I was shocked at how pretty they really are. So, there is hope for game Sims. The old fart is now known as Judge Roy. He’s still I the political track, and on the take. And his wife – now named Lacey – is still hoping for his early death.

This is a tiny house between the bistro lot and that Chocolate Restaurant. It was made by susieb, but I don’t think she made a family for it. Not that I would have downloaded them. Anyway, I did change out the exterior siding and the porch railing for CC that I have. And inside, I got rid of all the basegame crap and gave them some nicer stuff.

It now belongs to the 3rd member of the Censorious Triad – Muriel P. Finster. She was created by my friend, Alex – aka: Hellfrozeover – back when she was still playing TS3. While I was doing the other 2, I knew they needed a pal, and this Sim came to mind. I left her pretty much the way Alex created her, although I did change some of her traits. Since I made her the principle of my school, I decided to help her with her career, by giving her the “I despise you little rugrats!” trait.

Then, because the house has lots of room despite being on an itsy-bitsy lot, I decided she should have an adult son who’s moved back home. With his cat. To whom Muriel is allergic. Anyway, he’s a genetic resequencer working on a top-secret project. His mother has been frantically snooping through his notes, trying to figure out what he’s working on, but he’s up to her ways and has been leaving a bunch of nonsense laying around for her to find.

Next family I do, will be those Bagley’s from Riverview. I already made Ma Bagley’s husband and oldest son – who now reside in the graveyard. They’re the Sims suspected of killing the 2 Robichaux Sims. Anyway, the living ones will live out in my swamp and be moonshiners. Their houses are done, and I even gave them a still – aka: nectar-making thingie. But that will be another post.

[tetrakys]

Forbidden - Act 1 and 2

So you guys might have seen one of my previous posts where I said I was going to play this game this weekend, and I did. I have been waiting for it for a while because I love @saku-chann​‘s art and I’d seen a few posts on the official tumblr page @forbiddenvn​ so I was super excited and, I have to say, it didn’t disappoint. The game is not perfect, there are a few problems here and there, but I think this is essentially a demo so the authors can easily make improvements, and there are also lots of very good things. But let’s talk about everything in order, starting with the main plot.

The plot

Forbidden is a romance mystery visual novel, the premise is simple: MC’s parents are rich, very rich, but too caught up in their own problems to deal with their rebelling daughter, so they send her to what is essentially a reformatory disguised as a fancy all-girls college. There we meet three charming teachers, the geek nephew of the director and a few classmates secondary characters. MC is also in contact with her childhood friend who didn’t show up yet but he should be another LI, I am curious about how the story is going to evolve to include him as he is a guy and he is back home (MC is Irish but I think the setting is England). The first two acts serve as an introduction to setting and characters, it’s very much dialogue heavy with little plot except for the last scene in act 2 which was a real shock and sets the tone of the whole game.

Cons

Now, you know I’m always very balanced with my reviews, giving pros and cons. This time I’m going to talk first about what I think doesn’t work because I have lots of trust in this project and I don’t want to focus too much on the negatives. I think the main problems are essentially three:

1. First of all, the game needs a beta, more than one actually, and they have to be english mother tongue. There are typos and grammar mistakes in almost every line and it’s a real shame because it takes away from fully diving into the story. I know that the two authors are french (I think) so it’s really amazing that they made a game in english and I congratulate them for that, they just need help, a few pairs of fresh eyes. I know very well that when you read and look at something a thousand times at some point you stop seeing any mistakes. And not only in the writing, there are some issues and small bugs here and there, like some scenes being cut abruptly at the beginning, some characters called with the wrong name, the wrong answers to some dialogues etc (if the authors want to contact me in private I can point to whatever I remember, it’s not the goal of this review to make a list.)

2. The second point, and this is probably very personal, is that I don’t like much the secondary characters because I find them very stereotyped. Basically the chubby girl only talks about food, drinks and lazying around

and also there is the usual clique of mean girls. I hate games that put women against each other, especially when there is no particular reason. In this case more than ever, these girls had basically said nothing yet and MC reacted in a pretty spiteful way. 

(I don’t trust women? Seriously??)

Granted, I do like that we have a strong-minded MC that doesn’t let anyone mistreat her, but she acted as the mean girl first. The one character I liked was Claire 

hehe funny... but well... 

I hope the game will give these characters more depth as the story moves forward and we won’t have too many cat-fights.

3. The final point, and probably the main one, is that I don’t buy the premise. MC is sent to this jail/school to complete her thesis, she is 23 and has to go along with whatever her parents want because she financially depends on them. I have to say, this doesn’t work with a 23 years old MC. I understand that she grew up rich and is not used to provide for herself, but the MC has to also represent the player a bit, this is too far fetched to believe. Also, everything in the setting looks like a high school, from the fact that MC has to study different subjects that have nothing to do with her thesis, the students having to wear a uniform, the all-girls boarding school environment... also the duration of the studies doesn’t make sense, in UK university lasts 3 years, then students can do a one year master. By the time they are 23 they are done unless they have lost one or more years, which I don’t think it’s MC’s case. My impression is that the game was aiming for a rich boarding high school atmosphere but that, since the romance part of the game involves teachers, the authors decided to make it the less controversial they could and upped MC’s age as much as possible. I understand that having a minor MC romancing a teacher could have been problematic for them, but to make the story work it would be enough to say that this is MC’s last year of college, she is 20-21, it would also explain her having to get some credits in other subjects and it’s enough to believe her acting out like a rebellious teenager.

So, these are my cons, as you can see they are all very easy to solve if they wish so, I think it would be great if they did because they would make the game perfect as the pros really really good.

Pros

1. Let’s start with the easiest: the art. This is in fact the reason I was interested in the game in the first place. I love the art style and how expressive all the characters are, how everything is very detailed and the backgrounds are soooo beautiful too.

And the CGs! I’m only going to post a couple without context just to illustrate how beautiful they are

2. The setting. I said that I don’t believe in the premise in relation to MC’s age and if this has to pass as a university, but other than that the setting is really intriguing, I’m a sucker for boarding-school based stories, especially when there is more than meets the eyes

Also the school has a sort of house-system, I didn’t fully understand how it works but I think that it is based on the year of study, MC is a stag which is the last one.

3. I really liked that we could chose the subject of our thesis among history, literature and math. Usually in these games the MC always studies art because this is what the creators know and it’s smart to stick to your guns, but I really appreciated so much that math was a choice and I didn’t have to suffer through the usual stereotype of “math is hard, I hate math, it’s just numbers blah blah blah”, this is personal but it made me very happy.

(Honestly a good chunk of my excitement is now working on our thesis 🤭)

4. The romance. So... I came into this game completely blind, I knew nothing about the plot except for one thing: we are going to romance sexy teachers 👀 I had seen the guys’ sprites and, while all three are good-looking

there was only one guy who had immediately got my attention, the one in the middle. How lucky it is that it turns out he is Mr Alexander Holmes the math teacher?? And how lucky it is that it turns out he is the cold asshole of the group? (i.e. my type?)

Do I hear wedding bells already?

(talking to the class)

Be still my beating heart! 😻

(and you know babe I would take you more seriously if it weren’t for the fact that the math you wrote on the blackboard is complete nonsense, thankfully you’re pretty and brooding)

The other guys are nice and apparently sweet but they haven’t seduced me yet. Only the geek a bit because I have a weakness for geeks

(look at that background! saku you have so much talent!)

5. I find the writing style quite intriguing. MC describes everything first person present tense, but then at some point there are some philosophical monologues from MC from the future narrating in the past tense. While this could be unnerving, I think it adds to the mysterious and intriguing atmosphere of the game. (My only suggestion is to use a different font when these come up to make the reading easier.)

6. The mystery. This is probably the most important factor, this isn’t just a romantic visual novel, it’s a murder mystery! And they hint at something supernatural going on because a girl was killed a while ago and they say her spirit is still around. But this isn’t the only crime, apparently there is someone going around killing people and I’m all in for this, love me a good murder mystery.

So, this is it from me, let me know if you end up playing, you’ll find the link to download the game on the official tumblr @forbiddenvn​ (it’s itch.io so it’s free and you can pay only if you want, whatever you want). I really hope there’s going to be more soon, but I can see it may take some time, it’s clear that a humongous amount of work went into this demo for just two people, but I’m looking forward to see what comes next!

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A visit to Coral Beach

What a fun time at the beach! Coral Beach is such a lovely place - from the clear blue waters and colorful mosaics scattered throughout the boardwalk, it's one of those places ideal for vacationing based on appearance alone. No photoshopping necessary when it comes to taking pictures here!

I'm surprised that I haven't visited the beach sooner since it's about an hour away from the camp. In fact, there's still so many places nearby that I haven't been to yet. The trip was kinda a spur of the moment kind of thing Pancetti, Audie, Snooty, Lyman, and I planned at the last minute. By chance I ran into an old friend who's vacationing there too and now she's coming back with us.

So we spent a couple days at Coral Beach exploring the sights and enjoying the resort and then tomorrow we're heading back to the camp. Of course, I also spent the time catching up with Desi, who's been enjoying the seaside scenery.

Desi Rivera's an aspiring singer-songwriter who hopes to make it big one day. Right now though, she's jumping off the ladder and starting from scratch. It's a risky move, but I think it's a necessary one. Given her talent and ambition, I know that Desi will come out stronger than ever.

I met Desi at summer camp years ago. Even though we only spent one summer together, we kept in touch for a while after that. The summer camp thing was something our parents made us do and to be honest it wasn't really our thing so they didn't push us when we told them that there wasn't going to be a next summer. The experience wasn't terrible - I did make a friend after all - but summer camp and I just didn't click at all. Now that I think about it, it's kinda interesting that as an adult I'm running a camp right now - though this and summer camp are totally different.

Since Desi lived in the town nearby we often ran into each other. As we got older contact became sporadic but we occasionally said hi to each other when our paths crossed. Then as adults we regained contact on social media and have been keeping up with each other since then. Desi often posts covers and original songs, which is how she got her online following. She could've easily made it big if it weren't for certain people.

Desi's journey as a singer-songwriter is sure to become an interesting one. Ever since she could talk, Desi knew she wanted to be a singer. She always had a nice voice, one that became more refined as she got older. Talented songwriter too, with an honest and poetic way with words. And it's a damn shame that her talent has been consistently overshadowed and sidelined for white mediocrity.

Yup, I said it - mediocrity. No disrespect to Meghan Tyler and Too Cool - I mean I can see their commercial appeal, but for the most part, their music is bland and forgettable. Music tastes aside, it is pretty impressive that Desi was in the same circles as people like Meghan and Joe of the Shayne Brothers.

Desi first met the two at a camp for aspiring musicians, the well known Camp Music. She was one of many talented nobodies who wanted a glimpse at stardom. Meghan Tyler is the daughter of pop star Ann Tyler, and it was her who ran the camp, the typical queen bee. I happened to cross paths with Meghan and her friends online (unrelated reasons) and they always gave me a vibe of a high school clique. I interacted with her indirectly a couple times but then actively avoided her when her friends stirred up drama. It's one thing to vagueblog about an ex-friend who screwed you over, it's another to ruin someone's reputation by claiming that they faked their trauma just because you had a petty falling out with them.

Then there's Joe Shayne, best known as the lead singer for the Shayne Brothers. He was amazed by Desi's voice and took an interest in her. The two started off kinda rough with Joe pushing his boundaries and Desi rightfully calling him out on his entitled behavior. The whole thing was kinda like a Cinderella story with Joe trying to figure out who was the singer he overheard while passing by while Desi tried too hard to impress him after realizing who he was. By the end of the summer, they began dating, becoming regulars at Camp Music for the next several years.

Despite what the others were saying, Desi and Joe were going strong for eight years. Desi was associated with the Shayne Brothers, which was a blessing and a curse. As much as she liked Joe and his brothers, she didn't want to be known solely because of her connection to them. They were going to get engaged until last year when Desi broke things off. According to her, things had been kinda rough for a while but they tried - probably a bit too hard, in her words - to stay together. They're still friends but Desi thinks in a year or two they'll drift away, which I think is what she wants.

On one hand it's kinda sad since they've been together for so long. And from what I've heard about Joe, being with Desi helped him a lot as before he met her he was on his way to becoming a short tempered almost has-been. Basically, she made him shape up and consider his future seriously. But aside from their love of music, Desi and Joe were from completely different worlds. In the years since they got together, they've grown into two different people. The two have spoken openly about their breakup and it seems like it's for the best. Sometimes things just don't work out in the end and that's okay.

As for Meghan, Desi always had a complicated relationship with her. Being the fish out of water, Desi tried to impress Meghan, even if it meant dumbing down herself to please Meghan's ego. There was always some sort of competition between them with Desi constantly feeling like she has to prove herself. While Meghan did help Desi out with her connections and fame, Desi never felt she earned her recognition, another reason why she wanted to start from the ground up.

For years Desi was part of Meghan's band, Too Cool. While Desi occasionally had some solos that charted, she and the other members were always overshadowed by Meghan. She considers the whole experience a mixed bag, one that started out exciting but in the end the bad outweighed the good.

A few months ago, not too long after leaving Too Cool, Desi did an insightful interview for a magazine where she spoke honestly about her ups and downs with the band as well as her breakup with Joe. I always felt that she deserved better than Too Cool, especially after reading the interview. From being constantly referred to as "the Mexican one" even though she stated multiple times she's Cuban, to being told to sing slightly off key in order to make Meghan sound better - no wonder she wanted out. It's an eye opening read on the ugly side of the music industry, particularly on how WOC artists are treated.

Following her departure, another member and longtime friend of Meghan, Maria Silva, also left the band for similar reasons. She too had also spoken out about the racism she experienced, having been constantly referred to as "the Chinese one" despite being Filipino. I don't know Maria too well but she comes across as genuine and I wish her well on her solo endeavors.

Right now Desi's taking a break on music, though not entirely. She's been writing songs and making demos but it'll be a while before she releases something. For now Desi wants to celebrate her freedom, starting with a long, well deserved vacation. Then once she's had enough rest and relaxation, she plans to jump back into the music scene with a bang, this time on her own terms with her calling all the shots.

Desi's been teasing me and the campers with what she has in store. In light of the racism she experienced with Too Cool, Desi wants to embrace her Cuban culture more than ever, starting with the music. Mainstream pop radio hits aren't her thing anymore, so she's going for a new sound inspired by her Cuban roots along with her usual pop rock style she's got going on since she began writing songs. She's also considering the idea of doing an album in Spanish, though that'll depend on a lot of factors.

It's nice to see her so excited and passionate about her music - that's one of the things I love about her! Like I said, Desi's got talent and ambition, and I know that she'll successfully make a name for herself without Meghan or Joe's shadows. I mean, the demos I've heard already sound a million times better than pretty much everything Too Cool has done - imagine how the final product will be! Once the album comes out, I'll be one of the first in line to buy and download a copy.

We met up with Desi by chance at the hotel, her room being upstairs. She's been traveling around, crossing off places where she always wanted to visit. So far she's crossed off four places from her list. After Coral Beach she was debating on Hero's Tunnel and Swan Park since they're right next to each other. Since the camp's along the way, I invited her over and hopefully during her time there, she can make up her mind on where to visit first. I know she'll enjoy the camp, especially Saltwater Shores since she's a beach gal.

Coral Beach is such a beautiful place. One of the first things we did when we got there was to pose in front of the fountain and toss a bell in for a wish. Then we checked into the Coral Beach Hotel, where we got a lovely view of the ocean and fountain.

The architecture of the hotel is so pretty, it reminds me of an old village on a tropical island. Along the boardwalk are charming little shops and cafes where we got to enjoy shaved ice and fine handmade souvenirs. I got a set of cute floral teacups, a dot grid notebook with a pretty mosaic cover, a gorgeous seashell necklace, and a painted ukulele.

We went swimming and snorkeling in the ocean, where we got to see the pretty coral the place is known for. Nature can be so fascinating sometimes - the coral really does look like fancy lace! I also collected a bunch of pretty seashells like pearl oysters, which are pretty rare, as well as pink oyster shells and obsidian shells, something I've never seen before. Desi suggested that we go parasailing - her new favorite activity as of recently - so that's what we did and it was a lot of fun! We also went surfing, watched a performance at the theater, shared cocktails during happy hour, and explored the gardens.

Today we went to a mosaic workshop and made some cool decor. Then we went to a ceramics shop where we watched how bowls were made, which was pretty cool. After that we had a late lunch at Sash, where we had poke and butter mochi. Next door was a bookstore where we browsed for a while and then we spent a couple hours at the beach before heading to the hotel for dinner.

Since we aren't leaving until tomorrow afternoon, we had some time to kill so we spent it at the pool, lounging around. Desi says she's looking forward to seeing the camp and meeting up with Daisy Jane. It's so good seeing Desi relaxed and having a great time, especially after what she had to put up with during her time with Too Cool.

It's getting late now and I still have a little bit of packing left to do. The ocean's so pretty at this time of night, the way the light of the stars reflect on the water like sparkles. I can't wait to come back in the near future.