#their beef with the crows gives me life

[proffbon]

Based Governor Ivenci moment

[crowandmousewritingco]

If You're Reading This

Pairing: Joel Miller x nb!reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Rating: PG-13, there's no spice. It's all angst bay-beeeeeee

Summary: You met Joel while out on a 'hunting run', you startle him and in return he almost shoots you. After everything settles the two of you get to talking and decide to stay in contact one of the only ways, via letters. Over the time writing each other, you grow feelings for him, and learn things about yourself that you don't know how he'll handle. Telling him, he goes silent, but you refuse to give up hope. Will your hope be enough to keep you going?

Author: Mod Crow (Got a new job so life has been ahhhhh)

Author's Note: The reader says their age. This was for @burntheedges' Roll-A-Trope! I was very back and forth on how I wanted this to play out, in the end I'm pretty happy with it.

Masterlist

Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide, and mentions of raiders and guns.

Dear Joel,

Thanks for not shooting me today, I wasn’t even in my best attire to die. I’m kidding. Not about the not shooting me thing. 

It was nice really meeting someone who didn’t want to kill me or rob me. It was also nice having the help dragging a deer all the way back to this place. I only hope my butchering and fileting skills aren’t getting rusty. But hey, if they are, you said something about you showing me “the way it’s done in the big beauty of Texas” or however you worded it. I know you aren’t here, but I need you to know that I’m currently laughing. I made myself laugh. Gods, I’m losing it aren’t I?

 Anyways, I should probably start cooking myself something to eat before the sun goes down. If you ever head this way and stop at this place, you should leave me a little letter or something. Obviously, I left this one for you in an obvious spot -and that’s what you should do as well- then after that we can start putting them in more well-hidden places, we can’t have someone finding them before we have a chance to. But that’s for the next letter.

-Y.F.

P.S. Y.F. means your favorite, I know what I am, you don’t have to tell me.

Hey Smartass,

Now that I like the sound of. Oh, and drop the formality, I’m not your pen pal or some shit like that. Ellie wanted me to tell you that “if you try to replace her as my favorite, she will stab you”. I don’t pick favorites. Just so you know. I haven’t had a favorite person in a while now…

God let’s stop talking about the sad shit anymore. I saw a baby squirrel on the porch as I was walking up. I thought maybe he had lost his mama or daddy; I’m thinking that’s what he also thought because when one of his -what I can only assume- parents came back they had scared that poor little thing so bad that he damn near jumped three feet high. I was kind of wishing you could have seen it, I remember you telling me how much you loved nature and all that stuff. Don’t read into that.

Anyways, I don’t know what it’s like heading up from the southwest, but Ellie and I ran into more raiders than we normally do. I don’t know why there’s more, but I’m not liking how things are looking.  

I left you some ammo and rations hidden in the fireplace. Ellie left you something, she wouldn’t tell me, besides that it was hidden in the bathroom. That’s all she told me, so I’m guessing that means good luck. 

-Joel 

I’m not calling you my favorite, I don’t have a favorite between you two nuisances 

Dear party-pooper,

Yes, that’s what I’m calling you from now on, you fucking party-pooper. ANYWAYS, I found your stash, thanks. The ammo was a life saver…literally…the rations could have at least been a good one. You left me some beef jerky (the only good thing in that damn ration), some stale ass cracker, and some unidentifiable fruit-like substance. 

The raiders though, they’ve actually been better. Based on my guess, I think they might have migrated up your way. If you think it’s getting too bad for a bit, I get that, don’t feel pressured to write me back whenever you’re here next. 

On a lighter note, Ellie hid a book that she’d think I’d like. So far, her shot in the dark has struck bull’s-eye. Tell her I said thank you. As for where she hid it -you’re gonna love this- she pulled the medicine cabinet off the upstairs bathroom’s wall, knocked out a small bit of drywall, and hid it in the wall before replacing the cabinet. It took me far longer than it should have, but who the fuck would look behind the cabinet on the wall? The cabinet, mind you, looked like it had never been pulled off the wall. Fuck, I really gotta give her credit for how creative she is with hiding places. You should take notes. Your hiding spots in the past have been…kinda in plain sight. Love you old man, but you suck at hiding. Expect, I give you credit to this last drop, up the chimney fluke. Maybe you still have it in you after all, old man.

Anyways…I left some things for you in the door of the fridge. It’s not much this time, things have been rough at this place. We let in this new couple, and they’ve been super suspicious. The first night they were here, the woman -Gabrielle- was found snooping around in the owner of the farm’s wife’s dresser. Gabrielle couldn’t give us a straight answer as to why she was snooping. That wasn’t even the weirdest bit, that same night the man -Kenneth- was snooping around in ALL of our shit. I woke up at gods only know, probably 3 or 4 in the morning. I didn’t think he got any of shit. I didn’t look though, and that’s on me. He got away with most of the things I was going to give you, what he didn’t take is hidden for you. I left Ellie some magazines I found about alternative bands from before the pandemic. I don’t even know if she knows what alternative music is, gods you probably don’t know what alternative music is. I’ll explain that to you in person one of these days. 

-Your favorite nuisance 

You fucking child, 

You and Ellie act like the exact same person sometimes I swear. Sometimes I feel like it’s just Ellie leaving me these notes. 

Forget all that, you said that the ammo I stashed for you came in handy? What happened? Are you okay? Were you injured? What happened to the other guy? That’s something I would have paid to see. If half of what the shit you’ve said in the past were true, then you’re a pretty good aim. 

What you left me enough, the granola was honestly a god sent. You have no idea how boring coffee was getting. Ellie also said -and I quote- “Hell yeah these bitches look sick.” I have no idea where she’s heard that, because it sure as hell wasn’t me. 

Backtracking -kind of- I know we’ve talked raiders, how have those fucking clickers been? I think because of that “migration” or whatever the hell you called it, they’ve been out there killing those fuckers while they snuck through the shadows. Our raider problem went up, but the clicker problem. It’s been too quiet recently. But following that thought, your raider problem went down, so that means your clicker problem got worse. Didn’t it? Fuck… You’re a pain in my ass, but I like this banter I get to have. You should come with Ellie and I back to our little place. It isn’t much, but Ellie’s been complaining that where we are isn’t “comfortable”. I swear she says what she says just to test my patience. But, yeah, Ellie would love it. She’d never shut up and it wouldn’t be me for once. Just give us the when and we’ll meet you here.

-Joel M.

Hey grumpy,

I think I like this nickname the best so far. I do swear one thing to you grumps, I am 100% NOT Ellie. I’m your…something. I’ve been kinda held up in my room at the farm this past week. I’ve been thinking about some things after the raiders. That’s not something I lied about; I am a pretty good shot. So was the leader of the little gang. He was 100% aiming for my head, I’m only alive because I got lucky. He drew his gun quicker than I did, he aimed quicker than I could, and he pulled that fucking trigger before I could…His gun jammed. It took me a minute to even register that I was still alive. When I realized though, gods, was I ready. Almost dying makes you really think about how you want to be remembered by people. 

I don’t even know if what I’m thinking would make sense to you. Ellie might, but all she’s ever known is…well whatever it is she grew up knowing. These are things that I haven’t thought about since…fuck, well before the outbreak. Bare with me as I try to figure out to explain this in writing that isn’t going to be a fucking novel. 

Actually, before I do that, I want to get this out there first. if you aren’t sure you want to be a part of this emotional blah, I got lucky. Ken left his bag open in Gabrielle’s room right next to her bag in her room! What’s even better? Neither of them were anywhere near the bags, Gabrielle was helping with dinner and Ken was helping with fence repair. I left you just under half of the ammo they had -hey, gotta keep myself safe- and Ken’s utility hatchet like thing (you’ll see what I mean). I also snatched you some more granola. I have no idea how this old couple is doing it, but they have so many oats. They also have a fucking bee house! You know what that means? Fresh honey! And just for you grumps, I snatched a mason jar for the two of you. Honey’s also good for a sore throat. I know it’s getting cold out there. I’ve actually been knitting (I know, I must be lying about my age. I’m not, I swear. I learned how to knit because of my grandma. When I was probably six or seven, I made a huge deal out of wanting to learn to do what my grandma was doing. So, she taught me. After the outbreak, I needed something to do with my hands, otherwise things…things would be incredibly different right now. Gods, sorry about the ramble.) some scarves for the two of you. You have no idea how much yarn got left behind in the stores. If after you read this, you decide you still want me to go with you I will. We can do it the weekend after next. Next week is my birthday and Marieann and George (the old couple of the farm) told me that it was “my day to relax and rest up after the hard year.” Who am I to go against what a sweet old lady tells me to do? That being said, I don’t like not knowing what’s going on and how the two of you are doing. At this point, what’s even the point of keeping track of birthdays anymore? Like, “Yay I lived another horrid year on this dying hunk of space rock, can’t wait to suffer through another one! Anyways, I'm sneaking out past curfew to leave you a note if the plan has changed. Anywho…I found more magazines for Ellie. I’ve hid them in the pantry. She’s smart. Your is hidden in the basement behind that dresser, it’s the same idea as what the kid did in the upstairs bathroom cabinet.

Back to the emotional blah…If anything I write doesn’t make sense, you can try asking Ellie. She may know. Gods, I thought it would be easier to write this out, not having to see your weathered (ignore that) expression change. To what? I don’t know. Anything? Fuck it…Joel when we meet, I thought I had figured myself out. When I met you, I was sure I was a woman. I don’t think that I am…I’m not a man either though. I’m neither? I don’t know how to explain this. Okay, so I was she/her when we met, you were -and still are- he/him. Well, if I’m neither of them I have to have a way to refer to myself, right? I do, instead of she or he, I’m…them. Or they! Well, it’s more like both, they/them. Gods I’m shaking so bad right now haha, I’m just really scared of losing you two…You two have been the first good thing since this shitstorm started. I know I can’t make you write me back, but I can ask you to at least leave me something saying you’ll either come back and write a new note or some kind of…I don’t know sign? That doesn’t feel like the right word, but note isn’t the word I want to use…I don’t know Joel, just please leave something. I don’t care how long it takes; I’ll keep coming back till I get another note from you. Even if that means I die doing this because you chose to leave, and I wouldn’t hate you for it. 

That’s all I’ve to say. I really do…like you Joel, when thinking, remember I am the person from all of those letters and the few times we met.

-Your Raven no    Magpie also no Crow now that’s one I like

Joel, 

Hey, I came back this weekend, I’m 26 now! Yay! I’m not going to lie; I’m terrified right now. The clickers are getting worse around the farm, they aren’t too bad on the way here yet, but I know they will be.

I checked to see if you took the stuff, and you did. I saw that Ellie left me a comic book and a band shirt from one of those mags I gave her. I can’t believe she was able to find one, let alone one in my size. I also saw that you left me some ammo and another ration. I know it isn’t much, but it’s something. It gives me hope, and that’s all most of us have nowadays. Along with that hope, I also hope that you'll come back again. If that’s the case, I’ve left you both some things, same places as last. 

Joel, for you, more granola (enough for the both of you), a scarf for you, some peach preserves (Marieann opened up some preserves she had made to be opened about this time), and some bread I baked. I warn the bread isn’t pretty, but with the chill, it should last a bit longer.

For Ellie, her scarf, a couple of mangas I found (this will be fun to hear how that goes), a Swiss army knife I found on a dead raider (I know it’s gruesome, but it’s the world we live in now), and a slightly used deck of cards. I felt like she could find a way to entertain herself why you do whatever it is you do when you want to be alone.

-Your hope filled Crow

Hey again,

You took the things again, and you left some more for me. It’s still something. No matter how little. It just hit me, these letters are going to be getting shorter and shorter until I hear from you huh?

Should I even keep writing to you? Maybe don’t answer that. Or do. You take all the time you need. I’m leaving you guys some more things, the same place as before.

-Your Crow

Hey, 

I’m sorry about how long it took, I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand at all, and it freaked me out a bit. I asked Ellie if she they understood it and they did. They also came to realize that about themselves too. No, I don't fully understand it, but I’m willing to learn.

Thanks for the scarves, they’ve really helped with the chill at night. Ellie was so intrigued by that one that I’m guessing was the manga. I have no idea if they figured it out, but they’re having a blast trying. 

The clickers have been a bit more active around us too. I wonder where they’re all coming from though. 

Ellie and I are ready to head out, just tell us when. We’ve gathered all we could, the rest of the stuff we’re leaving is replaceable. Thanks to your scarf we’ve managed to carry a bit more stuff, not the way you meant for them to be used but they’re multifaceted. 

I don’t know if Ellie has anything to leave, but I’m assuming it’s in the bathroom. I don’t have much to leave, I found some yarn. I just happened upon it when looting some cars on the main road. I also found a broken bow. I don’t know if you can fix it, but maybe that old man, George(?) could fix it, or maybe someone else in the house. They’re in the basement, it’s the only place they’d fit. 

I want to help you keep that hope alive. I have one of my own, I hope we can get somewhere warm and safe together.

Joel, with…

Holy fuck,

Joel, you came back?! Thank you fuck…thank you. If you could see me, I am a mess right now. Gods you’d get a kick. 

I wasn’t able to fix the bow, but George was! I guess he used to bow hunt back in the day. He said it may take him a bit; he has to dig out his tools. I’ll leave a letter the night before with an update. If you find a letter then there’s kink in the plans, if you don’t find a letter then it’s because I was there waiting, or I died. Or some other third thing, I like being dramatic sometimes. 

With this plan may be happening, I’m not leaving much. This time it’s a kindle of firewood. Dry firewood hidden in the sugar in a mason jar. I remember you saying you drank coffee, and you were growing tired of the taste. So have some sugar, make it sweeter. Maybe add honey too. 

-Your Crow

Dear Joel,

I know you hate the formality of these kinds of letters, but for once, just let it be. See the thing is I’m writing this as a “worst case scenario” kinda thing… I started writing about an hour ago for me, gods only know how long it’s been for you. To put in perspective the time difference, I’m writing this the same day I read your letter you had left, the letter about the plans about me coming with the two of you to find somewhere else. 

I don’t know what has happened to me to force my hand in leaving this letter, but if I had to take a shot in the dark, I’ve probably been shot by other survivors. I’ve been bitten. If I remember, I’ll try to come back and write what really happened. Anyways, I know we had a plan, I also know that you’re a strong man. You don’t need me; I would have just slowed you down. So now you have to promise me you’ll keep that kid safe. Oh, and if you happen to find yourself in Omaha -I know we’re several hundred miles away, but you never know- stop by 1004 Cicada drive. It’s where I was living when all of the shit hit the fan. Now, I won’t be there to give you the tour, so you better not go tracking mud or anything inside. 

Look, there are some things in that house that I think could be beneficial to you, I know you’ll find what you need. I have some things out in the garage, there’s some other things in the attic, and then there’s some things down in the basement’s crawl space. Now, it’s going to be dusty and dirty down there, but back before all of this, it was a beautiful basement. I had just finished painting it that beautiful blue color that has since been destroyed by some fucking raiders. Fuck, look at me gushing over my old basement. I must really sound like some weird fucker, huh? 

Anyways, if I’m dead and that’s why you’re reading this, I just wanted to tell you some things…Where do I even start? I guess I’ll start light, that’s what you do right? I don’t know why I keep asking questions, I don’t know your answers to them. Gods do I wish I did know your answers, writing this with the unknown has been killing me. If you could see me right now, you’d have a pretty good laugh, I’m shaking like the last fall leaf in a big dying tree in the middle of a tornado. Fuck, I’m rambling…Look I’m really happy we ran into each other when we did, that day you almost shot me in the forest -behind this decrepit house- I lied to you. You asked me why I was out there, I told you I was looking for some animals to catch. I wasn’t…I couldn’t take any more of this bullshit. So, I was gonna beat the zombies to my death, and I wasn’t giving them the satisfaction of bringing me back to be some brainless creature monster. I was going to paint a bit of the forest with gray matter. When you insisted on helping me because you also needed food, I was honestly kinda pissed. But now? Now I’m happy you stuck around. Joel, I don’t wanna make you feel any type of way but…You are the only reason I’m still here on this shithole of a planet. Also…you sticking around had affected me in ways I wasn’t expecting…Joel thanks to you Joel, spending all of that time with you, getting to actually know you, exchanging stories, all of that shit. All of that meant means far more than you could understand, and in that time, I grew to fell in love with you Joel. 

I should have told you in person not through a piece of paper. I know there isn’t much I can say now…. but I am sorry. I wish I could have told you in person, I really do, I wish I could have heard your lips say it back. I can only imagine how your raspy, yet honeysuckle sweet voice would say those three words “I. Love. You.” Gods the thought of it…

Anyways, if I keep going, I might accidently write you a book. For whatever reason it is that made me tell you where to find this, I’m happy I got to meet you when I did. Make sure to tell Ellie I said hi. You make sure you keep that girl safe or so Gods help you, Joel Miller. 

-Your Crow, with love

P.S. Joel I don’t know how much longer I have till I turn, but I just wanted to say before I die, I love you Joel, tell Ellie I love her too. I left you my remaining ammo and handgun. I left Ellie my lucky bullet casing -we both know she’ll love it- and my bracelet, the one with that little metal rabbit foot charm. You have no idea how excited I was to leave that lonely farm. I would finally be with people I cared about and who cared about me. Like who actually cared about me. 

I had a weird feeling that this is how things would go, so I planned. I know I’m leaving you my handgun and ammo. The handgun only has one bullet right now. You can fill it the rest of the way and leave, or you can do what I was too scared to do in the end…Kill me. Right now, I’m in the kitchen writing this. I don’t feel good, I feel like someone beat me with a lead pipe. My head is throbbing, and I can’t tell if I’m sweating because I’m hot with a fever, or if because of a cold chill. 

I thought I’d have a bit of time, you know, write you some more, pour my heart out on paper for you, but I don’t. It wasn’t a deep bite, but it was a bite, nonetheless. I tried to sneak past this clicker, I was doing so well until I lost my balance and stumbled, twisting my ankle. I didn’t try to fight it, I thought I’d have better luck running back here. I didn’t…  

I love you Joel, I really really ….

*Joel’s POV*

Your writing at the end was practically ineligible, trailed off almost. Joel wasn’t quite sure, what he was sure of, was the feeling of his heart break. An all too familiar break, one he hadn’t felt since Sarah’s mom…

Joel quickly and silently tore his path through the house, he was certain that you were playing some kind of sick cruel joke. 

“Joel. Joel! Come on man,” Joel could hear Ellie, but for some reason his legs wouldn’t stop. He had to prove Ellie wrong, that’s why. Yeah, that makes sense. “Joel, Jesus fucking Christ. STOP!” Hearing Ellie’s loud voice had pulled him to a halt. 

“Joel, I know you loved them man, I did too. I don’t know what hell-bent path you’re on, but you aren’t going to find them okay. I know,” Joel looked to Ellie, his unfocused eyes taking a moment. When his eyes finally focused, he could see it, he could see the tears that were pouring from Ellie’s face. That’s when he realized he too was crying. “I looked for them after I found their rabbit’s foot bracelet. I think they’re in the basement, the door is locked or jammed. I can’t get it open.” Joel swallowed the pained howls that wanted to rip through his tired body. Clearing his throat, Joel quickly wiped his face on his jacket sleeve. 

“You stay up here; I’ll get it figured out. No matter what, I don’t care if you're curious or something else, don’t under any circumstances come down there am I clear?” Joel clenched his jaw, he needed something to focus on something, so why not something he can do. 

Ellie never responded verbally, but Joel saw the stiff nod. Turning from Ellie Joel tried to make quick work of finding the things you left. It took him far less time than he expected. Joel also found a key; one he could only assume you left. It wasn’t particularly noteworthy or showy, but if he had to guess, it would unlock that basement door. Was that even something he wanted to do? Kill you? Or rather, kill the already dead you? 

Heading back to the dining room, Joel looked at the things he had found in the house. The one catching his attention first? Your handgun. The one with only one bullet loaded in it. Picking up the gun, Joel examined it in his hand, the handle was worn, faint groves noticeable to the touch. The metal on it had definitely seen better days, days when the metal was clean and before it was used in all of this shit. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat down, Joel took the key -along with the gun- to the basement door. Standing there, Joel simply stared at the handle. God only knows how long he stood there, but hearing Ellie walk into the dining room, pulled him back to the doorknob in hand. Gripping the gun tighter, Joel carefully put the key into the knob. Giving it a trying twist, Joel felt it resist for a second, before a soft ‘click’ could be heard. Gripping the knob, Joel twisted it slowly and carefully pulled the door open. There wasn’t a single sound coming from the basement, maybe you had found a way to do this. Something he was now dreading. Readying the gun, Joel carefully made his way down the stairs, trying to be as light as possible on his feet. 

Once his feet hit the basement floor, Joel clicked on his flashlight. The basement wasn’t huge by any means, but it did have a smaller room off the back wall. Walking towards the doorway, Joel practically held his breath to listen for the all too well known cl-

The sound of clicking slowly filling the air as he grew closer. The sound put him to a stop. Can he really do this? Yes, because you shouldn’t have to be one of them. Clenching his jaw Joel continued on. 

In the doorway, Joel could barely make out the shadow of you, or at least what used to be you. It was kind of hard to tell for certain where the bite was for certain, but it seemed as if it was your shoulder. As he stood there, Joel was silent, he wanted to remember what you were like, this wasn’t you and he knew that. You were gone by now, long gone and he knew that. Raising the gun, Joel closed his eyes for a moment. Opening his eyes, Joel cocked the handgun, the click of the hammer grabbing your attention. Staring at what used to be your face, Joel could feel the tears run down his face. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t quicker my Crow.” His last word punched through the silence, with the loud echo of a spent shell.

'''''''

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[mohntilyet]

I want you to know you’ve indoctrinated both my friend and I into your path of thinking when it comes to Illario and the Envy demon.

I raise you this, since Illario isn’t even a mage before the Ossuary, consider the fact that Zara convinces Illario into also harboring Envy (like Spite, since Lucanis says he just ate something and he was stuck with Spite after that. Like she tells Illario he needs that dawg in him to become first talon, a double edged knife there (you aren’t good enough on your own you need that dawg in you aahhhh)). That would add a level onto why he kills her, Lucanis taking a crack at Illario and asking if he’s is good enough (I would’ve crashed out too tbh), and the lines in at the party with a romanced Rook (since that man also doesn’t have a healthy love life)

Envy is also twisted form of admiration/generosity/contentment, like how Spite was a spirit of determination, and the freak out Lucanis would have over his little brother’s admiration for him (an admiration he would NEVER admit to his big brothers face) becoming so twisted (by the same person!) that it’s also destroying him from the inside out.

Also Spite and Envy shenanigans would’ve been so fucking funny

YEAH!!!!!! i have been rotating this around in my mind and had the idea of that admiration v. envy thing for illario, especially if we're thinking about wigmaker's job where they cover for each others weaknesses. like a week ago i googled what the corresponding virtue for envy was and it was kindness and i was like yeahhhhh illario does not have that. we're going to have to go with something else. and i was thinking of admiration so this ask kind of made me cheer <3 thank god i am making some sense and someone else agrees because at any point i'm checking myself going 'actually would he do that'

i think they both have some level of 'i wish i could do that like them' but illario's is negatively tinged because their fuck ass grandma is right there saying all that too . like regardless of how great i think my brother is, there is no fucking way his accomplishments don't start looking twisted and unfair if my only parental figure obviously likes him more than me

i also like the idea of in some world where illario is less of a traitor and didn't set lucanis up (i have a rewrite powerpoint going on for my friends. so this part makes perfect sense to me but maybe not as much to you. i'm so sorry), and they both get kidnapped and possessed, spite-envy are the ones with serious beef vs. their unwitting hosts, who would actually prefer not to kill each other.

this messy au i have assumes a very fraught house dellamorte, trying to defend treviso while the crows splinter and follow either son. caterina refuses to let lucanis give up power and names him first talon, while illario has consolidated power in the year lucanis was gone and has several other loyal houses pledging to him instead. spite and envy exacerbate this situation, spite refusing to give up power + envy coveting it. this hypothetical plotline ends with uniting the crows under a single first talon (welcome back bhelen v harrowmont), and reaching an agreement with the others to work together. crow-on-crow violence you cannot be solved but you CAN reach a momentary tense agreement to protect antiva and the world <3

[rhiaarrow]

Hello, hello! The Ghostie with the penchant for long rambling walls of text here to give her unwarranted two cents on the current disagreement between the Tubblings and the Crows!

I'm offering my take as a purely unbiased outsider

(Yes, us Ghosties may be married to the Tubblings but when I first joined the Qsmp Fandom I was a Crow and a Crow only, before I died and became a Ghostie. Thus, while I like both qTubbo and qPhil I don't watch either of them often, ergo unbiased :D )

who has no real reason to attempt to villainise or place either character on a pedestal because to put it bluntly, they are not my cubito.

Without further ado I will begin my ramble.

Today's ramble of course comes with the disclaimer that with me not being a qTubbo or qPhil main there may be areas of their character that I'm not aware of since I don't watch every single one of their streams! Feel free to correct me on literally anything you think I've mischaracterized about your main just please be understanding that nothing is done with malicious intent! :)

I'm not attempting to paint either character as a villain in this ramble, I'm just publishing this in hopes to allow each community to understand that neither cubito is perfect and that's okay!

Okay! For anyone missing context; the current disagreement began when Tubblings expressed feeling happy that Chay was able to be a kid around qTubbo as opposed to being serious with qPhil then the Crows reminded the Tubblings that qTubbo is also attributing to Chay's hero complex through him acting as Chay's egg and asking Chay to protect him. Which has caused both sides to instinctively protect their cubito and is causing arguments within their communities.

As a Ghostie who is more than willing to write 1000 words to raise awareness, and is frankly sick of infighting within the QSMP fandom (it's why I left twitter, please don't bring it here 🫠) I figured I'd try to help 'squash the beef' if you will.

Polite discussions about cubito conflict is fine, going for each other's throats over character takes...yeah let's not do that! :D

Firstly, everyone has to recognize that Chayanne has an almost toxic hero complex. He's had it since the beginning of the server and while neither qPhil or qTubbo is doing it on purpose they are BOTH feeding into it!

He has an overwhelming urge to protect others with no regard for his own safety or wellbeing at times. In the beginning it only extended to eggs. As the older sibling he had a sense of responsibility over them, which was cute! But now it's borderline toxic although it's become so normalized as such a core part of Chayanne's character that no one recognizes it's no longer a healthy mindset.

Now Tubblings can make the defense that qTubbo isn't being entirely serious or that he doesn't truly expect Chay to put his life on the line for him but I watched him look Chayanne in the eyes and BLAME HIM FOR NOT PROTECTING 'HIS EGG'.

Even if that was immediately reincarnated qTubbo who was a little fucked up in the head, even if he no longer fully blames him, even if qTubbo was joking at the time, he looked that kid dead in the eyes and told him it was his fault. Tell me again how qTubbo isn't unintentionally feeding his complex?

Yes qTubbo allows Chay a more carefree space away from his overwhelming need to protect his younger sister and a space to be more relaxed.

Yes qTubbo is joking about a lot of things and a lot of the out of pocket shit he says isn't intended to be taken completely seriously.

BUT you cannot fully disagree with the Crows when they say that qTubbo feeds the complex too. BECAUSE HE DOES, JUST NOT ON PURPOSE THE SAME AS qPHIL!

qPhil is so used to his son being the strong warrior that he doesn't realize that that character trait is actively damaging his son's mental state. His attention is divided between Chay and Tallulah and since Tallulah is more open to talking about her issues he often isn't as attentive to Chay.

Is that a bad thing? Yes!

Is it intentional on qPhil's part? No!

Is it something the Crows need to recognize that qPhil does which unintentionally allows his son to continue to struggle with his hero complex? Yes!

qPhil loves his son unconditionally AND qPhil feeds Chayanne's hero complex are two statements that can and do coexist

qTubbo let's Chay be more of a child AND qTubbo feeds Chayanne's hero complex are two statements that can and do coexist

And as long as both the Crows and Tubblings are willing to understand that neither cubito is perfect and THERE'S NO USE FIGHTING OVER PIXELS then we're good!

- Sincerely a Ghostie who just wants to try to bring understanding between the two fandoms by utilizing her rambling skills!

AGAIN, any severe mischaracterization you feel I may have included is unintentional and feel free to correct anything you feel like I'm misconstruing, they're not my main cubitos so there may be somethings that qTubbo or qPhil mains find to be untrue to the source

HOWEVER if you're gonna call me out for mischaracterizing a character simply because I'm bringing up their flaws and you can't accept a character has flaws, kindly fuck right off :D

[radiomurdeer]

starter for @voxiiferous

Hell was never completely quiet. There was the near-perpetual sound of fighting somewhere in the distance, yelling, car alarms going off - the list of non-stop sounds was near endless. And among it all was the sound of radios being brought to life, the brief flashes of various channels as each and every radio was tuned to a specific station. 

The Radio Demon was broadcasting, and he was making it everyone’s problem. Anyone with common sense headed indoors, as if a sturdy lock was all that was needed to stop Alastor when he had his sights set on something. This was one of his more regular shows – no overlords on the menu tonight. Instead he was procuring supplies for one of his favorite little cafes, one that appealed to a more discerning palate. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s broadcast!” he crowed into his microphone, showman’s persona on in full force. “Coming straight to you from the Pride Ring, we’re out on the streets tonight, hunting down some special guests to star in our show!”

He continued to chatter on as he ambled down the street, his mostly human form giving way to something else. With each step his human skin disappeared, leaving something that may only be called a deer just for lack of a better descriptor. His rack grew, weighing down his head and with it so too did his shadow, rushing ahead and seeking prey, each point darting down darkened alleyways. Ears twitched atop its head, taking in all the sounds and sights of the rapidly abandoned street.

It hardly took any skill at all to find and listen for what he was looking for, some stupid soul still out and about. More than one if he heard right, and he stalked down the street on all fours, keen on finding the source. Alastor had a tendency to be a discerning hunter, picking his targets carefully. The weak and cowering were ignored, like the one who thought he couldn’t see them hiding under a car. At least it wasn’t difficult to find those who preyed on others, not in Hell. He was a gentleman, after all. No need to kick those that were already down.

Away from an alley and ignoring their impending destruction, a pair of what seemed to be minotaurs had cornered a smaller sinner. Large and imposing, taller than any human but only half as high as the hungry monstrosity that was Alastor. “And it looks like beef is on the menu tonight, folks,” this was punctuated by a great claw grabbing one of them. How nice, a snack for now and one for later. There was no way out for them - they’d picked the location specifically because it was a dead end. The only way out was through Alastor, and he wasn’t about to let either escape. He didn’t much pay attention to the smaller figure as he brought one up to his starving maw. A loud crunch, broadcast for the whole Ring to hear, filled the air, sharp teeth breaking through flesh and bone. Alastor was a messy eater, using his free hand to press the other bovine into the ground, keeping him pinned while his little treat sprayed and dripped. Maybe a bit too much pressure was put on the second one, because there was more cracking and screaming that suddenly cut out abruptly.

“Some people say that big game hunting is cruel, but I think that’s a load of bull!” he chuckled to himself. People didn’t just listen to him for the screams, no! They listened because he was entertaining, combined with a strong sense of better them than me. Licking his fingers as the screams from the first died out, his eyes finally fell on the small Sinner. Great radio dial eyes blinked, a moment of silence before he was chattering again, ending the show as abruptly as it had begun. As he spoke, bones cracked and reset as the Radio Demon painstakingly put his regular meat-suit back into place, slipping into it with the same familiarity of a well-worn glove. 

“--and remember folks, stay tuned,” with that he released his power, allowing the radios to turn off and the great speakers throughout the Ring to finally fall silent. He leaned forward, practically bowing at the waist, leaning on a microphone cane that appeared with a flourish of his hand. “And what do we have here? A new wayward soul recently departed from the land of the living? Oh, what fortune for you to get front row tickets to the show, eh?”

Patiently Alastor waited for a response. The poor thing was likely overwhelmed, best to give him some time to realize that he was not also on the menu. They couldn’t be anything else but a new sinner - they carried the imperceptible scent of the Living World about them, clinging to their clothes and hair, woven into their skin. Maybe not completely obvious to the average sinner, but an apex predator like Alastor could read the signs. Though they seemed oddly human. No horns, no inhuman features. What a curious thing!

[caffeinetheif]

Farm Chores 

@drunk-on-lemonade​ you are so right and you need to say it louder. This idea is so funny and I had so much fun writing it!! Thank you for indulging me in my desire of going back home to my family farm lol.

Pairing: Lucifer x GN!Farmer!MC

Warnings: None, other than Luci beefing with a chicken lol

Lucifer had become curious about your homelife when you mentioned that you missed seeing your livestock. He had asked you questions about it and you revealed that your family owns a farm with beef cattle, chickens, and even a few acres of corn and soy bean fields.

On a whim, you invited him to come along with you up to the human world when your parents needed you to keep an eye on the farm. Much to your surprise, he agreed. He never seemed like one that would be interested in learning about rural living.

Which is how you got into the current situation of making Lucifer dress in grubby farm clothes.

“MC, why exactly are you having me put on... what did you call them?”

“They’re called muck boots, Lucifer,” you grin, “you’re coming to do chores with me, after all!”

“And what are these ‘chores’ that we’ll be doing?”

“We need to feed the cattle and give them hay, check for calves, and feed the chickens. We’ll also need to collect eggs. Since it isn’t planting or harvest time yet, we don’t need to worry about going to check on the crops.”

You slip on your own muck boots and tuck your pants into them to keep them clean. Lucifer follows your lead and tucks his own pants into his boots. You grab two pairs of leather working gloves and hand one to Lucifer before walking towards the chicken coop.

Lucifer admires the land that your family’s farm sits on. The wire fence that stretches over each wooden post that surprisingly contains the 50 head of cattle. The free-range chickens that carelessly wander the land without a worry. Lucifer can understand why you miss this aspect of your life so much.

His train of thought is broken when one of the beef cows bellows at the two of you. With her is a little black calf, practically a carbon copy of the mother, nursing and occasionally headbutting its mother.

“Lucifer?”

“What is it, MC?”

“Would you mind getting the eggs while I start putting hay out for the cows? There should be a wire basket outside the coop for the eggs.”

As much as his pride hates to be told what to do, he nods. He supposes it isn’t so bad if its you. He finds the basket you mentioned and opens the door to the coop. 

Lucifer is greeted by a cacophany of squaks, warbles, and clucking from the chickens in their nesting boxes. Several chickens flee from the coop, sending wood shavings and feathers flying through the air. Once the shavings and dust settle, Lucifer squats in front of the nesting boxes. He empties each nest one by one and gently places the eggs in the wire basket. As he reaches the last box, there is a hen stubbornly sitting in it. She glares daggers at him, feathers fluffed up and emmiting a bizarre croaking noise. 

He reaches towards her so he can move her out of the box, but yanks his hand back as she crows loudly and pecks at his hand.

“Pesky bird,” the demon grumbles, “I need to grab your eggs, now move.”

Again, his hand reaches for the eggs below her, but is met with a sharp beak once more. This happens for a few more attempts before he decides to take one of the leather gloves and use it as a blinder for the hen. Ever so slowly, he slips the open end of the glove over her head. She pecks at the glove a couple times, but her grumbling quiets down.

For the final time, Lucifer reaches under her and succesfully retrieves all the eggs that she was sitting on. He has never been so relieved that you weren’t next to him. He snatches back his glove and glares at the hen. If chickens could talk, he is sure she would be hurling curses at him.

When he finally exits the coop with the eggs in tow, you’re finishing up setting out hay for the herd of cows surrounding you. You turn to look at him when you hear the door shut.

Cheekily, you call out to him, “That took you a while! What happened?”

Crossing his arms, Lucifer grumbles, “A chicken wouldn’t move. She was in a rather sour mood, as well.”

You laugh, “Ha, that must’ve been Roberta! She’s probably broody.”

A fierce flush crawls up his cheeks as you laugh at him. Next time, you’re going to collect eggs.

[currymanganese]

Psst! Hey kids, wanna read a fluffy 'early days of an established relationship' Sydcarmy fic? I wrote a prequel/continuation of my first fic.

AO3 Link here:

Carmy hovered above Syd, gingerly resting on his forearms, his hands flat on the bed and bracketing her face on both sides. He hummed in satisfaction while they kissed, and came up for air after gently releasing her bottom lip from between his lips with a soft popping sound.

He leaned his head in close to hers and whispered right beside her ear, "Syd, when were you gonna tell me you taste so good?"

Syd cringed, looked halfway between deeply happy and deeply disturbed at his comment, half-heartedly swatted at his chest, and squeaked out between giggles, "Shut the fuck up! Get off of me, get off of me right now!"

"No."

Carmy smiled and ducked his head down and noisily kissed her left clavicle three times as he gently trailed the skin over her ribcage with his fingers. Eyes aglow with love and lust, he looked up at her and almost crowed in a voice thick with emotion, "Syd you are so fucking pretty, how do you do it?"

"What like, do you want skin care tips? 'Cause I think giving up cigarettes would be like winning half the battle for you...." Carmy and Syd held each other's gaze for a moment as he shook his head slightly, before Carmy sighed wistfully and murmured softly, "You know I really love it when you call me a dumbass, I'm almost there again, so keep going please."

Syd's eyebrows leapt up towards her hairline and she could no longer smother back her laughter, "Naw, Carmy you need to get up off of me, I'm serious! I can't take this, it's too much!" They both fell into a loud fit of wheezing, tittering laughter and Carmy reluctantly obeyed, easing off of her and moving to the side.

"But seriously though," he continued, "that first week you were staging was one of the longest weeks of my life. Uh, I kept telling myself Carmen, you're already broke as fuck, you can't get a C rating and risk HR violations at the same time."

Sydney smiled and wiggled her eyebrows at him suggestively and baited him, "HR violations you say, do tell!"

He groaned, "Sydney..."

"Car-men," she replied in a sing-song voice, "I wanna know. I'm serious, tell me what was happening with you that week. If you do I'll tell you what it was like for me, I promise."

Carmy glanced at her shyly and drew up his memories of that terrible, awesome, week at The Original Beef of Chicagoland.

"You know when you first walked in...It took me a sec before I caught what you were actually saying, I just couldn't stop staring at you. You looked like a fucking angel."

"Okay, wow....." Sydney interjected.

Syd smirked at him, "So that's why you forgot about UPS? Or is it that you're more of a FedEx type o' guy?"

"Fuck! Syd, you have to let me live that down please, like just rib me for it for at least like a decade max..."

"No can do, my guy. My ego is soaring over this; it's doing wonders for my mental health, now continue your story." Syd grinned.

Carmy groaned and laughed, whispered, "Fuck!" under his breath, and kept on going.

“Between the way you look, the way you called Richie out for being a fucking asshole...The business assessment and COGS breakdown you did and everything else...I had such a hard time not reaching out and-and, I dunno, holding your hand..Or telling you I liked your scarves, and that I loved your eyes...Or could I get to lick them sometime, they look sweet, you know?"

Syd's jaw hung open widely, a look of shock and terror on her face. Carmy bit back a smile and said, "Oh shit I said that last part out loud didn't I?" Syd tittered nervously in a frantic staccato, "Uh you know what Carm? I, uh, think-it's a time to for me go home, catchyoutomorrowm'kay?" and then she made as if to bolt from the bed before Carmy clutched at her wrist.

His laughter sounded just as nervous as hers, such a frank admission of his own horniness towards her threw him almost as off-kilter as it did Syd. "Shit, Syd, I'm sorry, I don't wanna scare you. I'll dial back the TMI okay?"

Syd paused and apologized, "Um, I'm sorry..You don't need to do that..You just.....Had my fight or flight response hella confused for a sec.....Uh, I can still feel the adrenaline surging through my veins actually."

They looked at each other as they valiantly tried to stifle back their laughter, to no avail. They probably had the neighbours incensed with the racket they made as their cackling ricocheted off the walls.

Syd eased herself back into bed and laid beside Carmy again. After a moment of contented silence, she held his hand and sighed. "I dunno about fiending to lick your eyes and shit, but I was crushing on you too back then actually.."

"Awwww, baby!" Carmy clasped his hand to his chest and somehow managed to flush a deeper shade of scarlet than all the laughing and lasciviousness already had him.

"I know right?" Syd shook her head, "You know I looked up to you even before we met, I read magazine write-ups on you when you won an award etc. To me you were a role model, how I wanted to be seen in this industry. You know, young, brilliant- like a fucking prodigy."

"Syd.."

"Okay, I know I'm laying it on thick, I'll stop. Relax!" As Syd smiled at him shyly, Carmy wondered to himself, "How is she so fucking beautiful and how the fuck do I keep her?"

"Uh, Carmy? You there?"

"Um, I'm sorry what did you say?"

"Nothing...Nothing, I dunno you just looked lost in the sauce for a bit there. Not that anything's wrong with that, given the context. I know this is a lot for you to take in, you've successfully snagged the eyeballs of your dreams after all-"

Carmy facepalmed himself and chuckled, "Syd, no! Fuck! I have got to stop giving you ammo!"

"You won't though. You can't help yourself around me. Keep it up though, I kinda dig all these unsolicited tidbits, they kinda make me feel more normal about myself."

Carmy's head darted up from his hand, "Syd, what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. So, um, anyways-"

“SYD!”

"Carmy! Let me finish talking about that week!"

"Syd, how can you just let something like that slip and move on? After giving me so much grief?"

"Uh, I dunno, watch me!"

"I hate you so much." Carmy grumbled.

"No you do not. You fucking liar." Syd punctuated her remark with an open and wet kiss sloppily applied to Carmy's lips. Carmy was mollified instantly and sagged against her, blushing and laying his cheek against hers.

"I'm sorry. Um. I don't hate you.."

Syd nuzzled her cheek against his and gloated, "Um, You think? Well, no shit Sherlock. Welcome to the club."

Syd cleared her throat awkwardly at the silent mutual admission of love and continued, "So yeah, I was already stoked at the possibility of working with you and then when I actually came in...Let me just say, you look better in person.."

"Awww, Syd! Is that a compliment?"

"Shut-up! I mean, don't get me wrong, you looked good in those magazine features, wearing your chef whites. But I dunno, something about you that week just did it for me." Syd's voice fell lower and lower until it was almost a whisper, and Carmy felt as if he could hear his brain frying away in a shallow pan-

"Your hair was all mussed," Syd continued softly. "You looked like sleep was a long lost relative to you, but you were fucking hot, you know what I mean? I don't know how you do it, but you really made the depression/bankruptcy/stress-glam work for you. I'm saying you're a fucking 10, and I'm not just saying that because I wanna fuck you a lot, again..."

There was a pregnant pause.

Carmy blushed and struggled to make eye contact with Syd, he could feel the weight of her stare and her affections, and frissions of wonder danced along his scalp and down his neck.

"Uh...thanks Syd." He finally choked the words out, no one had heaped so much praise on him in a given moment in his entire life, much less for his appearance – with a body which still made him feel as self-conscious in his 30s as he felt as a scrawny teenager who got shoved against lockers in school. He was at serious risk of crying there and then, he assayed to joke his way out of the tenderness of feeling instead.

"Uh..I'm glad you like what you see," he peered at her, "but, uh, if you need to see an ophthalmologist there's this guy that comes in regularly, we might get a nice discount-"

"Carmy shut up and let me kiss you."

"Okay..Alright.."

They did not get to sleep much that night. And in the morning, they split a slightly jazzed up pack of instant ramen for breakfast before they headed in to work.

___________________________

They had agreed to keep things professional at work and to not tip off the staff about their relationship too soon, not that they minded them knowing..They were like family after all, but they foresaw the way that the team would mercilessly clown them for leaping into a romantic relationship together. Before they came clean with each other and started dating, they kept up a diaphanous 'she's/he's just a friend' song and dance routine concerning each other for 2 years after they started The Bear, trotting that answer out anytime a team member commented that they'd make a nice couple, or that they'd be good for each other. They weren't dumb, none of them were, they all knew there was something unspoken between them eagerly waiting to flare up and out, blazing like the sun.

And so it was, that the promise that Syd and Carmy made to each other to keep their relationship status a secret at work died on the shift following their relationship's consummation. They just did not have the composure, the chill, to do what needed to be done when sworn to secrecy. When they passed each other something in the kitchen and their hands brushed against each other they grinned idiotically with their eyes shining. Carmy was blushing and blinking when Syd spoke to him, more than usual anyways...And Syd, gorgeous Sydney Eleanora Adamu was unbelievably relaxed and smug, so smug that Drake after the Toronto Raptors won the 2019 NBA championship had nothing on her.

She caught Carmy's eye during a lull and winked at him and Carmy hissed out, "Syd! Fuck!" before he waddled away seeking refuge in the walk-in. Marcus looked up at her and said, "Wait a minute..Did you two??" He motioned with his index finger between Syd and the direction of the walk-in. Everyone paused and listened at rapt attention to hear her reply...Carmy was quietly counting down from 100 in the walk-in, and hoping he'd look a little less red than veal, and felt a lot less aroused by the time he went back out.

And Sydney, Sydney, Sydney, smiled and said, "Wellllllllll." in a musical tone, she might have been imitating Brandy fucking Norwood, as she shrugged her shoulders. Chaos erupted, exclamations of, "I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!" broke out across the kitchen before Syd shushed them. "Shut the fuck up, there's a few people still out front."

Carmy glided back out of the walk-in and stood a little aways from her, looking happily defeated. He heard the shouts of 'I knew it!' and knew that they could've only been talking about them. He was glad in a way, he had precious little guile in him anyways, not enough to keep up any pretence of acting like Syd wanting him back wasn't the best thing to happen to him in his life. Marcus shook his head smiling and said, "Aww congrats you two, I know how down bad your were for each other.." The kitchen team broke into sputtering laughter and buzzed with excitement. Tina went off to the office to summon Nat. Ebra had already fetched Richie.

Syd rolled her eyes and said, "Man, shut up!" while Carmy simultaneously thanked him. Syd looked at Carmy and said, "We are not on the same page right now, huh?"

"Well..He wasn't exactly lying you know." Carmy was starting to look a little smug himself. Syd shook her head at him and walked away. Sweeps congratulated her and dapped her up. Richie piped up, "It was about fucking time cousin! Too bad we didn't have a bet going."

"Richie! Ew, shut up!" Nat elbowed him aside as she breezed into the kitchen with Tina. Ebra asked how long they were together for, Tina and Nat gave Syd two crushing hugs, while Manny and Angel gave Carmy mock military salutes. The rest of the team smiled and nodded at Syd and Carmy. Nat gently squeezed Carmy in a hug and softly said, "I'm really happy for you Bear.." Carmy could only reply, "Me too, Nat. Me too."

All in all, things were not wildly upset by the rest of the staff being aware of their relationship. However, they did make hash out of cracking jokes at their expense for the next few weeks. Ebra spotted them eyeing each other with a particularly tender look once during service and said, to their mortification, "Remember, children, this is still a kitchen so no bodily fluids on the counters eh?" Carmy forgot himself once and told Syd, "Angel, can you pass that verbena for me?" Tina pounced on them during family later that day and slung her arms over their shoulders as they sat next to each other. She then played a snippet of Jon Secada's "Angel" on her phone whilst she sang along, dipping back and forth between the English lyrics and the Spanish version. Syd groaned and hid her face in her hands, "T! Please leave us alone!" as raucous laughter broke out along the table.

Carmy smiled and looked thoughtful though, he interrupted Tina, "T, you have an amazing voice, can we get you to sing at the wedding?" Tina shut up abruptly, paused the music and looked excitedly between Syd and Carmy, "Sure! When's it gonna be!?" Syd narrowed her eyes at Carmy and said, "Carm, you and me in the office, now." Wolf whistles and laughter trailed Syd as she stalked out of the room and Carmy told Tina, "I'll let you know as soon as I find out, if she doesn't kill me first."

When he entered the office Syd swung around to face him. She'd been leaning over his desk glancing at his phone that he'd left behind. A notification came in on it and had temporarily lit up the screen, Syd saw that he'd changed his lockscreen/wallpaper to a candid photo he'd snapped of her on their second date. She had an unguarded expression on in the image, her fork was raised to her mouth, her mouth hovered open mid-bite as she enjoyed a massive slice of cake they'd split for dessert. Facing Carmy, she crouched down slightly and feinted as if she was going to jab him in the side as he stepped up to her. Since she couldn't stay mad at him for long though, she clasped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. "You're really serious about this, huh?"

"Yes, I wanna marry you if that's alright." Syd sighed and hummed contentedly before looking up at him. "Well we might as well figure this out now, kids or nah?" A smile started to twitch on Carmy's lips, "Well, I always thought-"

At Carmy's clear enthusiasm on the subject Syd felt her entire body flush with heat and pushed away from him. "Um you know what, maybe this isn't the best time to talk about this, I'm sorry for bringing it up now-"

Carmy's face started to fall a bit before she rattled out a, "No! Carmy, I just mean let's talk about it when we get home tonight, okay?" Carmy nodded at her reassurance, "Good point, will do Chef." Syd swatted him on the arm and giggled and paused in alarm, as if she was seeing her lovey-dovey behaviour with Carm from a third party perspective. "Oh my God..I think I'm gonna make myself sick!"

Carmy folded Syd into his arms and mumbled into her shoulder, "No you're not, Chef. Don't get squeamish on me now, that ship has already sailed."

Pre-relationship prequel here:

[gothsuguru]

Time to drop question on her. So tell me what are ur ideas for slice of life trope🎤

Like yk the gist, trope, dynamic praying u get what I mean 😔

OOOOOH SLICE OF LIFE TROPES??? :O that’s a good question omg…

one of my Fav tropes is dumbass!reader x morosexual!geto i think it’s so funny and silly i have a fic idea for this too 😭 it’s just sad tired suguru being cutely annoyed/endlessly fond of an extroverted!reader! i think suguru enjoys his counterparts to be more extroverted + silly + they allow him to be silly too/but also give him a way to take care of them (playing into his MotherHen mode) i also think suguru loves dumbasses like he just Loves hilarious people so much he likes them a lil goofy & dumb

i haven’t done one for this but i do plan on it Eventually… but a roommates!geto fic! he’s toru’s roomie and satoru befriends reader who he hangs out with a bunch! i think suguru feels a bit jealous of reader bc he thinks they’re trying to steal his bestie since birth but meanwhile reader outright Flirts and Hits On suguru every chance they get 😭 reader is like ‘hey satoru how come you didn’t tell me you’re roommates w adonis?’ and suguru is like ‘i hope you die’ and reader winks & is like ‘i hope you’ll kill me’ and suguru is both annoyed and slightly turned on by the turn of events & essentially this would be one of MY fav tropes which is “one-sided enemy to lovers” 😭😭😭 suguru having beef w reader and reader is just like :3 happy to be here :3 (i may wip this soon actually…)

i also think neighbor!reader x dilf!suguru is something i wanna write too… this is just self-indulgent bc i am a Lover of DILFs and the vision of suguru w reading glasses, crows feet due to smiling, & slight salt & pepper hair lining his temples is just so delicious… i’m pouncing on this sexy ass dilf as we SPEAK btw

[uinen-harth-estraven]

Daydream (Joseph Quinn x Reader)

Title: Daydream

Chapter no./Oneshot: Oneshot

Notes: Sooooo after years I came here again to give you this..It was actually a dream I had last night, and it felt so real that I wanted to write it down as a fanfic.I wish to have the same dream again soon,because apparently I have no life and I need fanfics and dreams to keep me going… Also if you watched 1899,I kinda had a little crush on the depressed captain,just to warn you for what’s this.

Ratings/Warnings: 18+ content,fem!reader,smut-ish,blood kink guys,fluff,angst if you squint but not so much really.NSFW in general.You’ve been warned..!

Songs/Soundtrack: “You and I” and “Only You” by Pavlov’s Dog 

Summary: You always had a place to hide when you’re feeling down and nothing could lift your spirits.One day after a misunderstanding that led to a fight,you ran to that place not knowing that Joseph followed you. 

Word Count: 2.2 k

It was Christmas week,and as usual you and Joseph came to your family home in the countryside.A perfect scenery that combines mountain and sea,in a small town,with mostly older people,a small school,a few vintage family shops,a church and an abandoned movie theater.This old movie theater had become a safe space for you,the owner passed away years ago and he didn’t have a family so it was left to rot.Not on your watch though,a few years after his death,you were just curious to explore the building,with flashlights and a small pocket knife just to be safe,you never know what can happen.That was when you found the owner’s office,there was dust everywhere,the window broken,papers upon papers scattered across the floor,movie films on the shelves,most of them ripped off.It was intriguing to say the least,so you kept going,until one day you managed to clean it up,get a small battery operated CRT tv in there and a couch that turns into a bed from your grandparents.Anytime you feel just a bit melancholic you escape there,as many hours as you need,and no one knows.

This year you decided to invite Joseph’s friends,just to get to know them better and perhaps make a friend yourself,because as of right now you didn’t have many.Your parents had already cleaned and made the basement floor more welcoming and homey,besides your bedrooms,where Joseph sleeps with you, and the basic rooms there’s not so much space.At least the court yard was big enough to contain plants,flowers,a lemon tree and a purple leaf plum tree.In the summer you and your parents will always spend time in the garden,sometimes even sleeping there.Every winter tho’ it’s magical,fresh snow covers the entire town,the plum tree flowering with snowflakes around the purple and red leaves,and the only sounds you can hear is the song of the goldfinches,while the gangs of crows always find a way to wake you up in the mornings.At night if you listen closely and silently, you can hear the owls celebrating their hunt,combined with the faraway bells from the church in town.

When everyone arrived at your home in the evening,you and your mother helped them with their bags,showed them around the house and helped them settle until dinner.While you all were sitting in the living room watching television with your father,who surprisingly liked them from the moment he met them,Joseph suggested a walk at the snowwhite beach.You wanted to help your mother with the dinner,so you stayed behind and told them that you’ll find them there later.After some time that you helped your mother with her famous beef ragu,and cheese ‘n’ garlic bread,she gave you the ‘okay’ to go meet Joseph and the guys.Getting your coat and scarf from the hanger,you jog your way to the beach,and as you arrive and waved at Joseph,getting closer you heard them arguing with your name on their mouths.So here you are now,watching them blaming you that one of their girl friends didn’t come,with Joseph obviously on your side.A few more seconds passed until you had enough and spoke your mind. 

"I don't understand why should I have known that she doesn't like me, when she acted all kind and sweet with me?" 

One of them started to say something but you cut him off. 

"I tried to be as polite as possible because you're Joseph's friends, and he loves you guys a lot.." you try to take calm breaths at this point, seeing red. "..that was the only reason, and I still don't get how the sweetest person I've ever met.. Is-is hanging out with such assholes."

"Darling.." Joseph touched your face with his hands, you didn't realize how close to you he came "it's okay.." 

He was talking, he was talking to you but you couldn't hear him, the sadness overtook you by storm..telling you that it was your fault, they were unhappy and it was your fault, they were fighting and it was your fault, she didn't come and it was your fault..Tears start peaking from your eyes, and your lips trembled. You need to go to your safe space,your nest,and quickly. But not before you say your final words. 

"You know what..?" 

All of their eyes are on you again, waiting. 

"If you were so heartbroken from her absence, and you didn't like me for it..then why are you here..hmm?"

They don't answer..but at least they look a bit ashamed. 

"Why did you accept my invitation, and my parents' hospitality?" 

You waited for any of them to say something, anything.. Joseph was looking even more furious at them. No answer came, as their silence became unbearable and the sea was singing a lonely melody.

You couldn't stop your tears of frustration any longer, but you didn't want any of them to see, so you did what you wanted to do and ran your way to the old movie theater.Passing by your house,your mother was outside cleaning the ice from the stairs,of course she saw you and she probably called your name but all you’ve got in your mind is to get the hell away from there.While you were taking a turn,you didn’t quite look where you were stepping,your feet slipped on a frosty mud and fell down scratching your knees and palms trying to break the fall.That didn’t stop you from getting back up,after some minutes steadying your feet,not knowing that a few meters away someone was following you.

Finally you’re in the old movie theater,your tears almost frozen on your face as you try to wipe them with your coat’s sleeve.Your mind was tired from playing the same scene over and over..his angry look,those beautiful puppy eyes looking like a storm,it felt like it was meant for you..your fault..it was all your fault.You walked up the stairs with your flashlight in hand,slowly,as if someone would come attack you any minute.At last you’re in your safe haven,you open the tv in low volume to have some white noise in the background and make the bed to lie down.Your eyes feel more and more heavy,but it doesn’t feel like a good time to sleep right here,so you just close them for a little bit to calm down.

The sadness started to go away,your breathing slowing down and all of a sudden you weren’t in your bed.The sound of the sea was right beside you as you opened your eyes and looked around.Grey clouds surrounding the sky,mixing with the dark calming sea in the horizon,and feeling the wind through your hair softly whispering.The ship dancing on the waves,accompanied by seagulls and dolphins that lost their way.You played with your hands as you stared at the landscape.

“Did you get lost?”

You gasp as you turn around to see the owner of the voice.Big brown eyes looking back at you.

“I apologize..I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s quite alright..” you chuckle.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I was just enjoying the view..you’re the captain?”

“And what if I am?” 

“Well..I could ask you the same question.”

“I’m enjoying the view..” he smirks,using your words back to you.

“I didn’t catch your name,miss..” he steps closer to you,stretching his hand towards you.

“I didn’t give it to you.” you also stepped closer to him,just close enough but not giving your hand yet.

“Of course..” he stares at your eyes for a bit,before continuing “Who are you?Your name?”

“(Y/N)..how about you,captain?”

“Joseph.”

“Pleasure to meet you,captain Joseph.” you finally give him your hand,and he holds it like it’s fragile,close to his lips to kiss it softly.

“The pleasure is all mine,miss (Y/N)..”

Just like that your daydream is interrupted by the silence of the tv and the same voice calling your name.You see Joseph as you open your eyes to your surroundings.He was sitting on your bed softly caressing your calf.

“Is everything okay love..?” his eyes trail around the room for a bit “and how did you do this..?!” 

“With patience and savings..” you whisper back to him,but you couldn’t take out of your mind the picture of him as a ship captain,your pupils getting wider by the minute and your breath heavier..so much for calming down.

“Darling..are you alright?You seem off.” he lies down beside you as he sees your grabby hands.

“Just a fantasy..”

This seemed to intrigue him,and he took hold of your body,turning you in a way so that you lay on top of him.

“What kind of fantasy?” he whispers,his eyes lingering on your lips.You sigh through your nose,bringing your hand to play with his wool sweater your mother made for him.

“Oh..nothing special just..a ship captain..” 

“Hmm? What about him?” he asked, playing with your hair,almost purring.

It was just the two of you,nothing mattered at the moment,just you and him,there were no friends,no worrying parents.Just you and him.

“He had the most beautiful eyes..like a puppy..” you rub your noses together.

“Hmm…” he smiles,biting his lips “what else?”

“Big veiny hands..mm” you groan,squirm and spread your legs so that you can place your thigh on his crotch.Already feeling him getting hard.

“Woah…w-what else,babe..?” his hand stopped playing with your hair,and it holds the back of your neck instead.His breathing is getting heavier.

“I don’t know..you interrupted me..” you chuckle,and start to get off of him.He stops you before you even move,holding your thigh over his growing dick.Pushing your lips together in a soft kiss,his tongue licking at your lower lip and you open your mouth for him to explore.

“Just think..what did you want him to do?” he whispers between kisses.

“To touch me..”

“Where?”

“Eh- mm -everywhere..” you start grinding at him,flexing your thigh.

“Be specific,babygirl..” you whimper at the nickname..grasping at his sweater. “Go on..”

“I uh..I wanted him to lift my dress..” you inhale through your mouth,breathing him in “get my panties to the side-” you moaned as he grabbed both of your thighs,making you sit on top of him,on top of his rock hard cock,his eyes darker than ever.You start dry humping him,as he growls,squeezing your waist. “..and uh-use your-uh..his..his fingers inside me..” 

He snickered at your word slip,but didn’t say anything.He knows that your daydreaming is about him in different time periods,you’ve told him many times.As you go quicker he starts moaning louder,feeling you soaking him through your pants.

“Yeah..keep going,baby.” 

“Then ha- lift me,push me to a wall and spread my legs..Ah!” you felt him piston his hips hard enough up to your aching cunt,that made you cry out his name,your pants and panties forever ruined.Your hands grabbed at his chest,feeling his muscles flex under them.Sweat dripping down both of your faces,red cheeks and half lidded eyes.

“Yeah…come on,keep going,you’re almost there..”

“Spread my legs and..huh..fuck me hard until I fucking bleed..” you feel your composure fading,your orgasm slowly and strongly hitting you like a thunderstorm,as you feel Joseph holding you down on his cock,rubbing you in quick small circles.

“Is he bleeding you,babe,like the whore you are for him? Hmm?”

“Ah- YES!”

“Uh..yes,don’t test him or he’ll punish you,darling..” the way he said ‘darling’ made your eyes roll to the back of your head,groaning at the picture of you on his knees getting spanked raw,his hands red from your bleeding backside.

“Ahh..come on,baby,let go..”

“Joseph I..I w-want..”

Before you even finish your sentence,his hand flys to your throat,squeezing tight.

“Come on,love..” he moans “Come for your captain.”

“AH CA-...HAACAPTAIN-…!” 

With a silent scream,your orgasm finally hit its peak.It got you trembling,and squeezing your thighs around Joseph.His orgasm coming a second later,with his growls echoing in the room,along with your panting and soft whimpers..

It feels like time has stopped,you’re looking at each other with soft smiles,as you drop beside him.His arms instinctively coming around you,to hold you close to him,with a satisfying sigh.You stay like this for a while.Looking at the ceiling,playing with your hands..just existing together.

You would worry about the ‘friends’ situation later,together as always.Your only worry is that you have to find an excuse about your pants,for your parents’ sake.

Hope you liked it!!

[sergeantcowboy]

What does Crow think of the Main Three and each of the clique leaders?

Oh boy this is gonna be a long one. Buckle up.

Jimmy: Crow likes Jimmy. He'd probably still sell him stuff even after he loses all the cliques respect. (That's the neat part about him being non-clique, he doesn't let the clique drama influence him as much) He'd also give Jimmy some quests mostly relating to his side business and split the paycheck with him. He doesn't take Jimmy's tough guy attitude that seriously and he doesn't think he's especially smart but he still respects him. Also he would encourage Jimmy to ask for more payment when it comes to doing stuff for the preps. He'd say something like "come on, there's no harm in leeching a bit more cash off of rich people. I mean they're the real parasites." And then go off on a tangent about why rich people should pay more taxes and Jimmy's there like "uhuh can you give me my money now?" (Also he calls him Jimothy 90% of the time)

Gary: He doesn't like Gary much but has no real beef with him. He will still sell him stuff unless he has a real reason to suspect Gary's going to do something that's against Crow's own morals. While Crow is by no means a manipulator like Gary he's still a good liar and recognizes Gary as one too. He's not 100% immune to his manipulation but he's wary of him and always takes everything he says with a grain of salt. On the other hand he also feels bad for him because he clearly has a shitty home life and antisocial behavior and no one around to really support him or be a positive influence. Of course that doesn't excuse his behavior but Crow can still pity him about it. He would still give him some harsh words for his choice of halloween costume though.

Pete: He's not exactly friends with Pete but he's friendly with him. He acknowledges him when he's in the room, gladly sells him stuff for cheap (although I doubt Pete uses his services much) and will stand up for him if he sees him getting bullied. But when that happens and Pete thanks him he just goes "don't mention it" before leaving. You can have your own interpertation of Pete's orientation but he gets teased for "liking boys" too much for it to not be at least somewhat true (whether that's gay or bi or pan) and since Crow is open about liking boys he's kinda looking out for Pete in that sense despite them not being friends. Though he wouldn't say that part out loud. He's not interested in Pete like that but he feels a certain responsibilty to look our for him as one of Bullworths few out and proud guys.

Now for the clique leaders.

Earnest: Crow thinks Earnest is weird and pervy and doesn't like him. He used to deal him some dirty magazines before he started asking him to do a panty raid. Crow kept refusing until he had enough and told Earnest he's no longer doing any business with him. Other nerds are still welcome though. Crow might just be a bit suspicious whenever one of the nerds approaches him, just in case Earnest sent them in his place. In general he tends to avoid Earnest. It's kind of a shame because I think Crow would like to play some Grottos and Gremlins.

Russell: If Russell wasn't the leader of the bullies I think Crow would like to have him as a body guard. He'd like having some big dumb guy as the muscle for those moments where brains can't help you out. Crow can fight but he's still better at talking his way out of stuff. He tends to like Russell and gladly does business with the bullies. However, if the bullies are planning on something that he finds unethical he will politely try to negotiate or simply tell them he doesn't want to be involved in that. He would never admit it out loud but he is a little afraid of Russell and the other bullies.

Derby: Scum of the earth. Spoiled, snobby, inbred brat. Privileged egomaniac. Crow thinks his family is destroying the earth for pure financial gain and that makes him angry (you know, Harrington oil). Crow will usually maintain his chill persona around Derby just to not give him the satisfaction of getting under his skin. He likes to pretend to be unbothered and often gets annoyingly smug about it whenever Derby needs his services, but if there's one person who can get the rise out of him the fastest, it's Derby. He's the one person in school Crow's most likely to get into a random fist fight with. If they're outside it's also pretty common that Crow spits on the ground whenever Derby and the preppies walk past him. If he gets called out for it he usually maintains innocence and claims he just "happened to spit on the ground at that time" and "god you think everything is about you"

Johnny: Johnny and Crow are basically friends. Not the worlds closest friends but still friends. Crow often hangs out with the greasers and he very gladly does business with them as well. He is very confused by Lola though and doesn't think her and Johnny's relationship is good for them, but he doesn't see it as his place to comment on it. Lola has probably tried to hit on Crow which Crow rejected and later told Johnny about like "hey your gf is cheating on you again". Instead Johnny got mad at him and that was probably their only actual argument. Now they're chill though. Lola's still a bit mad at him but they still hang together with the rest of the group.

Ted: Crow does business with Ted and the other jocks, but he doesn't have much respect for them. Not only does he dislike authority and the jocks are at the top of the school's food chain, but he also dislikes the way they put brawn over brians. He has no personal beef with the jocks, unlike the preps, but he might often refer to Ted as "the missing link" and the other jocks as "neanderthals". He doesn't like them, but he doesn't bother to mess with them. He also dislikes Ted's womanizing behavior.

Idk enough about Edgar to give you Crows opinion on him. He doesn't have that much screen time but being a townie Crow probably has him as a contact for any of his smuggling.

[streamdotpng]

First date!

"Find the crows, find the crows, find. The. Crows..." Enid's been wondering around for 3 days, trying to think of something to do for a date. She said that to summon her, Enid would need to find a crow and request her. She almost wishes Lady Death just killed her then and there- she'd deserve it after that line.

'"I'll consensually kiss you'? Who the fuck says that to Lady Death? Who says that at all? Why didn't she just stab me? She's cruel...'

It took a day and a half to think of a date idea (Yoko just responded "eat 'er out?" Which wasn't at all helpful.) Then, it took another full day to earn up the money needed for her supplies.

(Turns out when you're 6'10 people will pay you to pick apples. She even got to eat a couple!)

"A crow! Finally!" She spots the dark bird in the tree above her, picnic basket on her arm. "Hey! Hey! Can you summon Lady Death? We have a date!" The crow blinks at her with an empty head, then squawks. Turning it's head to the sky. It again squawks.

Enid hears a burst of magic behind her and turns around.

She sees a fuckton of crows and ravens flying around Lady Death, she faces Enid.

"Did you just use fucking birds to teleport?"

"Maybe." Smug. "Now, what's this? I half-expected this to be an ambush on me. Going to slit my throat?" Her wings give an amused little twitch.

"Oh!" She turns and digs into the basket, pulling out the blanket she brought. "No; a picnic!" She takes the ends of the blanket and unfolds it, spreading it out on the forest floor, careful to not drop it into the running river next to them.

Lady Death stares at her.

"This... isn't an attempt on my life? You... truly just wish to date?"

"Well," she sets the basket on the blanket, open it up so she can bring out their dishes. "I'm still technically doing this for our deal, but I'll let you in on a secret." She gets close even to whisper in Lady Death's ear, putting a hand behind it to hide her words from the crow perched on a branch behind them. "I think you're cute."

"Oh." Lady Death turns her head town to their food. "You brought beef and fish."

"Is that bad? I can get something else if you like?" She can't but she wants to leave a good impression, damn it.

"No, it's quite alright. I am just. Uh."

"Oh my stars- you're embarrassed!" Lady Death swipes a grilled fish and eats half of it in one bite.

"Am not."

"Are so!"

Lady Death sets her jaw, almost pouting.

Enid grabs a chunk of beef, tearing it with her teeth.

"So, did the crows give you any problems?" She's changing the topic.

"Awww, you worried about lil' ol' me?" She places her hands under her chin, fake preening.

"I'd watch the teasing; I am still Death."

"You won't kill me, not until I've fulfilled our dates. You couldn't live knowing you never got to smooch this face!"

"Hm." Lady Death dips her into the bowl of figs, taking one out and crushing it under her teeth. The juice spills down her chin.

"Damn." She takes a rag from the basket and dips it in the running stream next to them. Before she can think, she pushes a thumb under her chin with one hand and brushes the damp cloth against Lady Death's chin, cleaning it of the sticky fig juice.

It's only once she's done, dipping the rag back into the river to clean it and wringing it out, placing it into the basket, does it hit her. The sheer affection in the action that she just did.

Lady Death's mouth is open just barely in shock. Her eyes are huge, unblinking.

"Oh, fuck that wasn't- I." Enid goes just as silent as the woman across from her. She stares at the basket. Most of the food is gone.

There's a fig left.

She doesn't take it.

"Well, I have business to attend to, so if you don't mind, I shall take my leave." Lady Death stands up, barely tall than Enid now, and does a curtsy.

"Farewell, Enid."

Lady Death calls for a "Hel" before a crow perches on her shoulder. What has to be a hundred crows and ravens each encircle her.

When they disperse, Lady Death is gone.

The fig is still in the basket.

-Writer Anon.

Not a bad date Enid, not a bad date at all!

Pulled some rizz with that wipe and even flustered death for a moment, that's great!

Now eat the fig.

(bet it's cursed or smth, like hades pomegranate)

Eat it Enid.. Eat it.

Anyways ignoring that, its amazing work as always writer anon!! Can't wait for the next two dates :))

[angelslilcubby]

Hello, you can call me Angel or Mac.

If we are friends or become friends you may call me by the names I have listed or nonbinary Nicknames. I act as a babysitter/platonic caregiver to some agere friends to help them cope with trauma in a healthy manner.

I'm a nonbinary, queer writer and artist. I go by she/her and they/them pronouns. I'm 25 years old and taken by my boyfriend/partner/caregiver. I'm wiccan but tend to lean towards being spiritual in general and take from many religions and am open to learning about other religions. I will post sfw content, might occasionally post about ways to cope with certain traumas and things I've learned through therapy and what not. This is a safe space and will be treated as such. It's a safe space to talk and express yourself in a healthy manner. If you are here to bully or are a map you can get the heck off my page. This is a safe space for everyone, regardless if you are agere or not. I support lgbtq+ among many other things. We are inclusive and accepting on this blog and all walks of life are welcome. If you are kink please don't interact, I do not want that on this blog as it would be triggering to age regressors and their trauma. Be appropriate and respectful of my safe space. Any posts that have trauma that is triggering I will put a tw on it. If you see a tw keep scrolling if you can't handle the subjects of various traumas.

Mom to @sleepypuppycozy give them a follow, and please be appropriate when interacting with anyone online. We are human and have feelings. If you harass or are inappropriate to me, my daughter, or any of my friends, you will be reported and blocked.

Sign: Taurus ♉️🐂🐮

Bday: 4/20

Big age: 25

Lil age: 2-12

Fav Season: Fall 🍂🍄

Fav holiday: Halloween🎃🕷🦇

Fav foods: Sushi, pizza, ramen, beef stroganoff, Dino nuggies, Mac n cheese. Asian food and Hispanic food. I love Indian fry bread.

Fav desserts/candy: pocky, gummy sharks, dark chocolate, oreos, pie, cookies, circus peanuts

Fave drinks: apple juice, chocolate milk, and strawberry lemonade Arizona.

Fav shows: Supernatural, bluey, my little pony

Fav movies: Underworld, jurassic park, deadpool, Indiana Jones

Fav colors: purple, pink, red, black, blue

My aesthetics: goth, grunge, pastel goth, cottage core, hippie and renaissance era dress style.

Fav animals: Horses, rabbits, rats, frogs, red panda, cows, crows

Fav things to do: hiking, kayaking, biking, swimming, reading, watching anime/movies/k-dramas/TV shows, gaming, baking desserts, gardening

Fav bugs: isopod, moth, butterflies, preying mantis, dragonfly

Fav games: the last of us, animal crossing, Pokémon violet, smash bros, 7 days to die

Fav toys/plushies/fidgets: tangles, chewlery, calico critters, my littlest pet shop, monster high dolls, squishmallows, squishable, bluey, Bratz dolls, anything sanrio

Fav lil things: pacifiers, sippy cups, onesie, crinkle/sensory toys, baby blankets, coloring books, stickers

I'll update this post more as time goes on and if I see things that need to be addressed or talked about.

[talking-tarantula]

Hi! God I missed you so much!) Welcome back!

Thanks! And sorry for getting to answering this late!

Lots have been going on actually in the life outside of Tumblr. I was in Sweden for two and a half month without any Wi-fi and got my hip placed back in place properly.

It was out of place, due to a hiking accident seven years ago and the doctors (of course 🙄) didn't find a thing and didn't know what's wrong with me, when even I could feel a the bone of my hip sticking up against my skin and against my right groin bone.

Due to always only laying around and pumping myself full of strong painkillers (that didn't even help and were very bad for my heart) to at least cope with the daily pain a little better, I got scoliosis and my muscles in legs and back went pretty much bye-bye, which is why I'm still quite unstable and have to wear a corset (which is annoying).

I've also had water in my thighs. In fact, so much that I couldn't even bend my knees properly anymore. And I was pigion-toeing very heavily to the point where my toes would almost touch each other or I would stumble over them often, while I was only walking on the outer space of my feet because of the hip misplacement.

Thanks to the treatment though I can finally walk properly and I'm not in pain anymore. I also lost a lot of weight during treatment with luke-warm lemon water to manage to discharge the trabbed water in my thighs and around my stomach. So now I'm about half my former weight! I lost 18 inches around the stomach.

Since I hope to go to Sweden again someday, I'm currently trying to learn Swedish and it's going quite good so far!

Recent events also had it that I got to care for a carrion crow! I suspect that it's a female and called her Elischeba, or Elli for short. My Mom found her in the morning when she went out for work barely three weeks ago.

Right now Elli is undergoing a worm treatment. These worms are living and multiplying in her lungs and giving her trouble breating, so they got to go.

However, when I made my way to the vet the first time to deliver a poop sample to the vet with my E-scooter, I've spontanously decided to pick beef with the pavement and it went out 1:0 for the pavement (According to a friend of mine the scooter said aveda kedavra 😂). After my tumble to the ground I felt very dizzy, disoriented and very nausous. And my hearing went woosh for a few minutes.

Though the X-ray didn't show a thing and I suspect it's just simply heavily sprained. I still can't move or bend my wrist and it started bruising pretty badly. But I think that it'll be fine in the end.

That was the update so far :)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Tsumikis plot going down the drain actually one of the beginnings to my villain arc I remember being so hyped for it watching season 1 only for it to ??????? Whatever but anyways you fr have prophet abilities or something im actually convinced (manifest us episode Karasu/ Karasu light novel please)

CHIGIRIS FACE JN THE LATEST ONE HAD ME CRYING LIKE BRO WAS WEIRDED OUT it’s giving “mom come pick me up im scared” but YEAHH chigiri getting to let loose and be like a raging teen boy with nagi and Barou and zantetsu and do the “let’s go” pose and accompanied man roar (ykwim) sigh but HEAVY ON THAT yeah the whole girlboss counterpart idea is er interesting to say that least but on brand for fanon activities…..

AMERICASONA I SCREAMEEED THATS too funny but EXACTLY MY VISION like Bachira would be like “make her paper heart” or something and otoya would be like damn ok and when it actually works otoyas like bro you’re the rizz master mentor me Bachira LMAO banned from mcs building real for that

wait I lowk forgot about that game I had it downloaded for awhile but didn’t do anything with it oops but YEAH from what I’ve seen I bet there’s some nice interaction content there that the series desperately needed ugh

LMAOAOA THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING like imagine y/n being nagi and having to interact with reo and the soccer team and reo is fr like wtf happened to you (the possessed line is genius though omg)

LMAOO TRUE also wait YUKITULLI TIME?? also yeahhhh it was insane because the wording was so distinct too…I’m pretty certain a couple writers were like “yeah I saw this copy paste floating around so I’m

Not gonna write it!!” And good for them honestly also with your wc I don’t think you could ever be accused of plagiarism LMAOOOOOOO when the characters get unpacked instead of reverse haremed >>>>

SJHSSJ no because it’s technically still functioning and doing the basic things I bought it for so I can’t justify upgrading it yet….theres also a lot of backup prep work id need to get done before I get rid of that and I’m afraid now is most definitely not the time for that (speaking of now it’s my tablet that’s crashing out (literally) and I’m losing my mind everytime I try to open an app it CRASHES like LOAD PLEASE I BEG I literally came SO. CLOSE like the loading progress bar made it so far and then nope. SIGH)

LAMOAOA REAL NGL I watched it because my friend wanted me to and it was a good like no brain light hearted watch but the art style is not my type between the flat hair and face shape and eyes SORRY yeah no I’ll stick to my crow man…but yeah it’s interesting because hq is like the opposite extreme of the sports spectrum where it’s friendship is magic not I’ll climb your corpse and become number one

TIME FOR YOU TO START DRAFTIMG EPIKARASU that’s crazy fr though the chick still has me laughing it’s also like prime pfp material

Every time we circle back to this I have to take a deep breath because seriously get a life was it ever that serious…like people beefing it out fighting between two ships involving one character and I’m like……please….touch some grass….or even look at some pictures of grass….remind yourself of the existence of the outside…..

Nah fr shipped logic is honestly so hypocritical most of the time that I can’t even get myself to read their arguments because it makes me like rage quit equivalent of reading like you just contradicted yourself get out…..

Also isagi pedestalling nagi will never be not funny to me he’s fr like “he’s a monster/genius/god” and I’m like chill bro we get it

BAROUUUUU can’t wait to see him on the field also wait I think it’s really funny that the recent promo has basically spoiled the three subs because they include them in official art specifically for the u20 match team and I’m like imagine getting spoiled by the official accounts themselves LOL

LMAAOA literally me I will not be stepping out of the closet with this one guess this is my sign pay more attention to notes now you’ve got me intrigued LMFAOO STAY IN SCHOOL

IM CRYING TRUE for me I don’t think any experience will beat being sick it’s actually the worst like why am I being put out of commission for like a week and a half but anyways yes manifesting bacteria be gone…

LMAOAOA in classic Mira fashion indeed this is actually really funny but I’m sure it’s actually cooking so hard based off of the previews you showed honestly the MLP fan in me almost wants to expand this into a separate bllk universe and give every character their own Pegasus just imagine but anyways the angel take in the Kaiser fic too was a really refreshing fantasy au take too your brain is so big

Ok time to pull out the big brain mode and ponder the themes again lowk….but SHSHSH I would say NOOO but also so real for that I’ve definitely felt that with other platforms too like but OK we’re safe then although I’m ngl I don’t even use all that many things anymore and actually don’t use discord oops (I have trauma from that one friend telling me i have off discord user vibes like WHAT GOODBYE tbf it was also a friend who’s also into like anime and whatever so wasn’t closeted but still I did NOT ENJOY THAT EXPERIENCE) but should the time ever come we’ll figure something out I’m sure LOL

Ok first off from a purely pokemon standpoint Charizard and hiori is a crazy matchup even though I know that’s not what the event is doing LMAO this is truly a unique experience there’s another thing I didn’t think id hear bringing yuki into this is crazy work wait I’m crying yuki is fr just getting the short end of the stick in every miraverse au getting one sided beef from Karasu being the villain in hollyhock this is too funny justice will never come to him LMFAOOOO also I’m crying the “KENYU MF YUKIMIYA IS INTO ME” is SOOOO FUNNY LMFOAOAOAAOAAOAOA ok but now that they mention bm dorm i kinda get it although bm Yukimiya is NOT my favorite but anyways

HE WHAT??????? DAMN I lowk thought you just meant yeah i like him now so im adding

Him to the bottom of my list of characters I like but REPLACING REO I was not expecting that but considering what you wrote for sae i can see if seabird has me on the edge of swerving too wait ok i know that’s a sae tiktok but Isagis ghost white face in the beginning made me laugh oh wait that edit kinda goes hard especially with the music….oh…LMFAOO SAE THEME imagine sae theme before Karasu theme that’d be wild anyways maybe the carnivorous pegasi will make me swerve who knows

Your memes are actually way too funny i lost my mind at the Oliver one fr i need that framed on my wall the otoya yuki one is also hilarious sorry yuki but i find the blind jokes really funny THE YOU JUST TALK TO THEM IS TOO OFOYA CODED actually hilarious peak comedy right here STOP THE KAISER ONE IS SO FUNNY TOO ITS LOTERALLY THEM???

Ok the panel of nagis ego disappearing after he shoots the five shot revolver volley thing is actually so majestic one of my fav panels of him fr

CHEISTMAS NAGI wait the way they edited the Santa hat onto him is some crazy work talk about editing skills

I’ll never get over Nanamis goofy ass color palette and his goggles like wtf and the tie pattern is atrocious but I’m dying I read your comment about needing it to make its way into a Karasu edit and my fingers automatically saved the tiktok to my bllk folder LMAOOO BUT REAL PMG THE AUDIO wait it’s so Karasu someone edit this RIGHT NOW ugh I miss Karasu wtf

NAGI MOMENT so real honestly he gets the best quality scenes too like they’re pulling all the stops for him

LAMAOA IM CRYING THE WAY YOU ACTUALLY TJOIGHT OF NESS BUT YES I SEE THE VISION!!! I never willingly think of ness though ngl you just work overtime on the opps too but the audio does makes sense with him I’ll admit LMAO

RAGHHHHH KARASU SHIDOU BESTIES unironically love the spiky hair duo

CHIGIRI COMING IN CLUTCH FR!! I actually love that scene omg but also Isagi has NO survival instinct bro wasn’t going to duck or dodge or anything like hello

KM CRYINF IVE SEEN THIS OTOYA KARASU ONE LMFOAOOOO AIKU IN THE BACK LMFOAOOOOO REAL

IVE SEEN THIS ONE TOO AND SO REAL

When I tell you I almost passed out when they showed us that scene of Karasu doing pre match analysis like HE LOOKS SO FINE IOSKNDKDJSJS and the second to last scene in that tiktok GOODBYE I NEED MY MAN BACK NOWWAS

- Karasu anon

no literally like she was set up to be so cool and honestly even the yorozu thing wasn’t. HORRIBLE. per se. but it was just executed in a weird way and it just felt like another case of gege lowkey being unable/unwilling to write female characters and so just shelving them and giving them shitty conclusions instead of proper story arcs and development the way their male counterparts got…LMAOOO PLEASE i fr can just predict the future #praying for a karasu and otoya light novel release soon SDFHK the third person can be kiyora (provided he’s staying in the manga) ngl they might wait until nel is over so as to not spoil who’s staying since a lot of characters (kiyora, nanase, etc) are hanging in the balance and might not pass this arc so they might just not want to release until we know for sure they’ll be continuing onwards?? because a karasu - kiyora - otoya release would make a lot of sense given epinagi and their backstories all coming out at relatively the same time

CHIGIRI WAS SUFFERING BROOOO he was just trying to be nice and show concern for reo but he was NOT prepared for THAT…i know for a fact bro went straight to bachira and isagi to let them know what was going on because that was a DIABOLICAL interaction 😭 and agreed we really get to see a diff side of chigiri in epinagi which is really fun…he’s so silly with nagi barou and zantetsu (that one panel of him jumping on nagi’s shoulders while nagi’s like :x is SO FUNNY and it’s so cuteee too plus the one of him and zantetsu flexing at one another) it feels like epinagi also treats him like a guy more?? idk if that makes sense it makes sense to me 😓 but yeah pretty much just fandom doing its thing there with regards to that relationship SDKHF they’re honestly not even shown interacting THAT much if you think about it i think people just have their headcanons and run with them or smth because we see chigiri and like bachira interacting way more but i hardly ever see people talking about THEIR friendship

I LOVEE COMING UP WITH AMERICASONAS LMAOAOAO like yukimiya’s is bradley, chigiri is jesse, uhhh who else, i think isagi would be kyle?? KARASU’S IS TYLER SDKFH anyways imagine otoya is just indulging bachira because he and bachira are the only ones doing anything on their team so he’s like “ok sure i’ll make her a card and tell her she has a beautiful smile” and then it works and otoya’s like hold on bro…you cooked…and bachira’s just like 😄 LMAOAOA imagine lavinho gets involved too but his advice is HORRIBLE so it’s like otoya alternating between doing sweet stuff like drawing us holding hands in crayon and then like a day later he pulls up and is like “hey girl 😉 you remind me of my little toe 🙂‍↕️ because i’m probably going to bang you on the coffee table later when i’m drunk 😘” HAHAHA omg wait a new wingman has entered the villa…aiku shidou and now bachira…miraverse blue lock wingmen agenda is too strong

PLEASE omg wait i have a nagi request that’s just “can you write for nagi” dare i say freaky friday nagi version may be incoming…the only thing is like how would they end up switching bodies 🧐 because with y/n and karasu it was that they were beefing and then karasu yelled at the witch so she switched their bodies but i a) don’t see nagi beefing with anyone and b) don’t see nagi yelling at a witch LMAOO something to ponder when i’m at that point ig 😭 omg wait speaking of freaky friday somebody reblogged it a while back saying it was a “peak fic but should’ve been yaoiful” i was like what 😭 very confusing comment i’m still not sure how to take it

yukitullia would be insane…but tullirin…ngl i think it’s just going to come down to what plot idea i have first and whether nagi or karasu fits it better LMAOO and then tullia can be with yukimiya or rin based on that actually wait ykw would be another hilarious pairing is tullisae i feel like they would be very seabird sae and reader coded ☝🏻 but if she’s with sae who would reader be with…hmm…sae is even more friendless than rin and he also doesn’t have the benefit of having any really interesting pairings that i would want to look at (like rin with nagi) sooo actually wait i wouldn’t write it but imagine tullisae and then reader with AIKU SKDJHFSDLK

yeah i def respect them for saying no!! i don’t think i’ve ever said no to a request i just let them rot in my inbox for ages 😭 actually wait someone requested a sequel to seabird for my 1k event and i was like okay i don’t want to waste an event spot for something that everyone and their mother has been asking for so i’m going to veto that idea because if i do write a sequel to it it’ll just be because everyone wants one?? although ngl idt i will just because i think part of the fun and magic of seabird is the fact that we don’t really know what happens next (except we kinda do because rin mentions in the cherry tree sequel that sae and seabird reader are getting married) tbh i don’t think i’d be able to do their relationship justice if i did a sequel 🧐 so that will probably remain sequel-less ANYWAYS back to the original discussion HAHA yess i think tropes like reverse harem/love triangles only work if they are being used to reveal something about the character like if it’s just “i want a hot guy to like the mc” it feels shallow but if the love triangle is being used as an exploration of the characters or furthering the themes i think they can be really cool to include

HELPPP you need to like do an exorcism for your electronics or smth omg why are they all tweaking at the same time 😭

two of my best friends and i watched the first couple of episodes of hq together in my basement and halfway through i went upstairs for like fifteen minutes and threw up and then i came back downstairs and we continued watching and the next day i tested positive for covid LMAOOO so that’s my hq experience in a nutshell 😭 it’s like a meme for us now…we’ll bring it up like “remember when we were watching hq and you got covid???” yeah the artstyle really does not do it for me i could not imagine myself finding any of them attractive

EPIKARASU TIME FR omg i love the chick though it would be such a funny pfp actually

i miss when people used to ship literally anyone and everyone i think there’s so much discourse about it now that it’s like. CRAZY. not that there weren’t ship wars back in the day but i feel like the vibes were different…anyways i accidentally ended up reading a fem karasu x fem kaiser fic last night so that’s where MY opinions are re:shipping (it was kinda hilarious actually i was like how am i here…but then i was like wtvr for karasu ig i’ll do it…)

ISAGI GLAZES NAGI SM IT CRACKS ME UP like damn bro we get it you think he’s cool (ngl me too) in second selection especially it’s SO funny because he cannot stop like nagi will literally breathe on the field and isagi will be like holy shit…he’s unreal…the god of breathing…LMAOAOA honestly most unrealistic thing about blue lock is that isagi didn’t choose nagi’s team in third selection like i know for plot reasons he had to choose rin or else he wouldn’t even have made the bllk11 but like who in their right mind wouldn’t choose “guaranteed chemical reactions” when you have ONE game to prove yourself 😭 also let’s be real i think nagi would’ve been way more willing to pass to isagi and let him shine and whatnot than rin was…obviously that’s against the mentality of bllk and shit but still

wait i didn’t even think about that tbh i forget that there are anime onlies for bllk because the manga is sm better that if anything people are mostly manga onlies if anything ☝🏻 but YESSS AHHH I AM SO HYPE FOR BAROU just gotta get through an itoshi fest before we can see him shine

HELPP i really do think it’s a product of how small the fandom is so like the groups are very overt/in your face which makes it easier to identify them 😭 it’s like a game for me honestly like it’s very unserious

ANGEL KAISER WAS SO FUN okay your inner mlp fan will be pleased to hear that there will be quite a few characters featuring with pegasi of their own!! well not their OWN because they’re just jockeys but ykwim…off the top of my head sae, kaiser, leonardo luna, bachira, maybe isagi, noel noa, ego, hiori so far all have a named pegasus they are or will be mentioned riding 😛 they’re not all as relevant (some are literally just there to fill out the races so it’s not just two pegasi that we know of racing LMAO) but they all have names and colors…i won’t spoil them yet EXCEPT leonardo luna’s just because it is cracking me UP i think i’m going to name his pegasus “lunar eclipse” because is that not the funniest shit ever 😭😭😭 anyways yeah this is another one that’s going to end up being LONG i think however a surprising amt of people seem excited for it?? one of the sae reqs actually got changed to kaiser with dark/ghost (supernatural au/reincarnation) because the person said they thought my fantasy au ideas were so cool and they thought i could really cook with a more unique prompt (as opposed to normal/rock with sae which iirc is just fluff/modern au)

LMAOOO HELP I FORGOT YOU ENDURED THAT 😭 i’m the opposite people are always shocked that i watch anime and use discord and whatnot (IF they even find out) so i literally use it in public FJDJS my mindset is that my face card lets me get away w being weird…is that realistic NO but whatever i am #cringebutfree anyways if anything we can always just be tik tok mutuals or something…or we can exchange emails and email each other when new bllk episodes drop LMAOAAO IMAGINE 😭😭😭 jokes aside yes trust it will all work out and besides i don’t plan on deactivating atm so it’s a concern for later

PLSSS JUSTICE FOR YUKIMIYA 😭 at least he bagged yayoi in bfb??? but otherwise yeah bro is struggling omg and agreed everything about it is kind of blowing my mind but i think it will be fun!! ngl both love triangle requests i’ve gotten have been kinda random like kunigami and karasu is no less random tbh the difference is that i actually would pick karasu over kuni 😩 agreed though bm yuki is fr a diff character or smth tbh…bring back third selection u20 rough and tumble yuki 🙏🏻 wait ngl going back to earlier parts of the convo imagine ROUGH AND TUMBLE yukimiya with tullia (or even reader) that would actually be soooo fun orrr speaking of character backstory adjusting aus i was talking to jeirin abt what blue lock would be like if (somehow) nagi was discovered by aiku and became the u20 team’s ace instead of being discovered by reo and that would also be really fun to write at some point i think…people would hate me because i would make it so blue lock is dissolved but let’s be real blue lock 11 without nagi ever being in bllk is cooked — isagi and probably barou would never awaken, reo would also never really awaken or even be involved, and nagi also scored their first goal?? but him + sae is a lethal combo i fear they would in fact win (also i’m a nagi glazer plus it would be cool to write that i think) tbh that’s actually one where i would write it as just a character study on nagi instead of a reader insert story but idk i’m scared of opps and i’ve never written something from the pov of a canon character (except aiku ig) so it would be a little out of my comfort zone…hm…many thoughts atm

LMAAOAO RIP REO i feel like i haven’t cared much abt reo in a while he’s kind of in the chigiri bucket where his fanon version is so annoying i stopped liking him except with reo his additional times are also kinda giving his fanon self so i’m like oh…now FIRST SELECTION reo?? UNBEATABLE but him ever since then has been slightly meh i fear 😭 ngl sae is one who i do like but specifically and only my version of him FJDJSJ like seabird sae/carnivorous pegasi racer sae my BELOVEDS but i could never read him written by anyone else because i only like a very exact characterization of him and most people don’t really do that LMAOAO so he’s like a conditional top five for me 🧐 ngl of my top favs i can only occasionally read about karasu because everyone else is constantly mischaracterized to the point that i’m just like eugh this isn’t even my glorious bf this is just some white haired mf who hates women 😢

THE SAE EDIT IS SOOO HEAT ISN’T IT like the combo with the music and the scenes they used are soooo good 😭 shocked isagi is so funny though agreed he is FLABBERGASTED

LMAOOO I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE MEMES I HAD SM FUN MAKING THEM 😭😭😭 they are sooo silly bro i need more yuki and otoya interactions ik for a fact that yuki thinks he’s dumb asf wait lowkey it would be hilarious if otoya thinks he and yuki are chill and yukimiya is just rude to him in the way karasu is but then he sees yuki w nagi and he’s like wait am i the problem…yukimiya can’t escape one sided beef HAHA at least this time he’s the one hating not being hated

THE PANEL OF NAGI’S EGO DISAPPEARING AND THE ONE OF HIM CELEBRATING HIS GOAL ARE SOOOO COLD call me isagi the way i’m abt to glaze him so horrendously 🤤

christmas nagi is so precious princess pookie like imagine him drinking hot chocolate wearing a santa hat 🥹 actually ngl shidou would jump him because he hates santa but it would be so cute

NANAMI IS SOOO GOOFY i fear i will always hate…the fanon shidou friend was obsessed with nanami also so extra reason to find him an opp 😭 but RIGHT it’s SOSOSO karasu coded like him in the third selection especially ughhh #needthat

been saying from the start nagi is the fav and it’s not a close contest 🤩 even in third selection w the worst animation yet he still looked cute

LMAOOO THE INNER EDITOR IN ME COMES OUT REGARDLESS i too usually forget abt ness but i heard the audio and i was like holy SHIT it’s perfect i just need someone who actually likes him to get on it (although he doesn’t have the panels/moments for it yet…most of his scenes are him crying and being emo over kaiser he needs to have his glow up to be edited like that)

KARASU AND SHIDOU BESTIES FOR THE RESTIES (karasu does NOT approve of this message) I LOVE THEM SM TBH PEAK DUO

THE WAY ISAGI JUST STANDS THERE LIKE 🧍 IS SO FUNNY bro was fr just going to let shidou rock his shit 😭 god bless chigiri fr (or not…that would’ve been one less opp to think abt 😒 maybe we should be manifesting shidou absolutely taking out isagi next chapter)

AIKU IN THE BACK AND THE WAY HE ZOOMS INTO THE FRAME CRACK ME UP it’s sooooo oaeu coded like this is actually what happens in the otoya chapter when otoya reforms himself and aiku gives reader “rizz advice”

HFSKSJ i love every single video that uses one of those genre of audios…like the “naw 😨 that’s CRAZY” or the “jit TRIPPING” audios idek where they’re from but they’re all hilarious and so out of pocket it makes me laugh every time

KARASU IN THAT EP WAS SOOOOO GLORIOUS OMFG that episode doing the MOST for us karasu fans and then the episode right after being nagi’s goal genuinely healed smth in me LMAOOO now we wait because next ep will probably be rin’s goal + aryu’s block but then. BUT THEN. BAROUUUUUUUUUU (i mean technically shidou first but shidou is in this weird spot where he’s not an opp but also not a fav…admittedly his goals are really really hype though so it’ll be fun to see them playing out)

[musingsofabookworm1]

My Last 10 Reads

Here are my last 10!

Black Sheep by Rachel Harrison - 3 stars - This one was... a lot. It wasn't what I expected, and things really went off the rails, in my opinion, as the plot progressed. Vesper Wright, protagonist, left home at 18 and has tried to remove herself from her mother (famous actress) and everything else from her formative years. Then a wedding invitation from her cousin arrives causing Vesper to head home. The secrets she unburies make for quite a wild ride. Well written: good mix of prose and dialog.

Let Us Descend by Jesmyn Ward - 4 stars - I'd been waiting for this one! Protagonist Annis is a slave in the Civil-War-era South who has been sold. She endures a march, with other female slaves, to her new owner. This march leads her on a journey within herself thanks to the earth and water and spirits. Descended from an African warrior, Annis has been bred to survive the toughest of conditions. And this march is the toughest condition of them all. Beautifully written.

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy - 5 stars - You could've asked me prior to reading this to pick McCurdy out of a lineup or tell you why she was famous, and I'd be unable to on both accounts. But this came from the hands of a trusted co-worker and fellow reader, so I had to give it a shot. And wow! I was immediately engaged. Short chapters showing bits and pieces of a relationship with her toxic mother kept me engaged throughout. I’m not sure who exactly I’d recommend this to, but I recommend it highly!

Lights Out by Elise Hart Kipness - 2 stars - This is a pretty generic murder mystery that had nothing that brought it above average for me. Former-Olympian-turned-sports-reporter finds herself in the middle of a career “scandal” when her best friend’s NBA-star husband is found dead. Said best friend is the main suspect. A simple read at best, and if you want a good mystery, you can find something better than this. 

The Last Girls Standing by Jennifer Dugan - 4 stars - I got this YA horror confused with another YA horror I read last month: You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight. Similar covers, plots, and character similarities. Sloan and her girlfriend, Cherry, are the sole survivors of a ritual killing at a summer camp. Sloan trying to uncover said ritual makes this one a solid effort. Solid YA!

The Witch of Maracoor by Gergory Maguire - 4 stars - This marks the third and last installment of the Another Day series. The title character is Rainary Ko - the granddaughter of the infamous Elphaba Thropp of Maguire’s Wicked series. As this is book three, no details. I wasn’t satisfied enough to give it five stars, but I was rapidly turning pages to get to the end. And consequently sad to get to the end as it was over. It’s always hard to say goodbye to a good series. But I thought that Out of Oz (Wicked #4) was then end, and then this trilogy arrived. Maybe Maguire will miss Oz enough to bring it back once again!

The Reformatory by Tananarive Due - 4 stars - My only beef with this one was that it was too long at nearly 600 pages. This book was getting a lot of hype in the literary podcasts and social media pages I follow, so I was excited to read it. It is a historical horror. Robert Stephens, 12, is sent to Gracetown School for Boys (the more formal name of the title place) in 1950 Jim Crow Florida after kicking a white man to defend his older sister. While his sister does everything in her power to get him out, Robbie quickly starts enduring the trials of life at Gracetown. The upper level staff there soon learn Robbie can see haints, or ghosts, and want to use this to their advantage. Based on a real reformatory in the South where a relative of the author spent time, this is a difficult read knowing that the real horrors of Gracetown were not the ghosts but the things that the residents endured in real life.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger - 3 stars - I don’t quite know what to write about this one. I couldn’t get into it. I maybe should have saved it for another time. But here’s what the plot summary on the flap said: Imagine an America very similar to our own. It's got homework, best friends, and pistachio ice cream.There are some differences. This America has been shaped dramatically by the magic, monsters, knowledge, and legends of its peoples, those Indigenous and those not. Some of these forces are charmingly everyday, like the ability to make an orb of light appear or travel across the world through rings of fungi. But other forces are less charming and should never see the light of day. Elatsoe lives in this slightly stranger America. She can raise the ghosts of dead animals, a skill passed down through generations of her Lipan Apache family. Her beloved cousin has just been murdered in a town that wants no prying eyes. But she is going to do more than pry. The picture-perfect facade of Willowbee masks gruesome secrets, and she will rely on her wits, skills, and friends to tear off the mask and protect her family.

Good Girls Don’t Die by Christina Henry - 4 stars - I’m not sure when I pre-ordered this as Henry is an auto-buy for me. For some reason, our library doesn’t carry her books. I like that her books are so different from one another. You never know what you’ll get, but you can assure it’ll be good. This one has four parts. The first is about Celia who wakes up one day and does not remember at all the life she is living. She doesn’t recognize her daughter or husband despite seeing family pictures on the wall. She gathers what her job is and heads there to live a day in the life of whomever she seems to be. Next, Allie’s birthday trip turns into a disaster when her best friend’s boyfriend bring their group to a secluded cabin and finds the utmost trouble. Finally, Maggie finds herself in a most dangerous situation trying to get home to her daughter. Part four brings the four women together in a most unpredictable way!

The Princess by Wendy Holden - 4 stars - I’m not a know-it-all when it comes to the British royals. I didn’t know much about Diana before her life as the Princess of Wales. This fictionalization of Diana is told through different third-person perspectives of Diana and those she came in frequent contact with from when she went to college up until she married Charles. Though fiction, it is based on fact, and I learned some sad details about her pre-royal existence.

[cherryblossomsandhydrangeas]

The Cultivation of the Hydrangea - Prologue

Read the Prompt [Here]

You can also read this on my Wordpress.

Tags: Single Father Kaoru, Trans Sakurayashiki Kaoru, Canon Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Full Swing Kiss Aftermath, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma, Panic Attacks, Adam Canon Characteristics, Familial Reconciliation, Food as a love language, Gift giving as a love language, Original Characters, Slow Romance, Accidental Pregnancy

Relationships: Endgame MatchaBlossom, Past LoveBlossom, Platonic Nanako & Kaoru, Platonic Hiromi & Kojiro & Kaoru, Platonic Kaoru & OCs

Trigger Warnings: Physical & Mental Child Abuse, Transphobia, Misgendering, Child Neglect, Pedophilia, Ableism Note: (The beginning of all scenes with triggers will be marked with a -X-)

Word Count: 11,544

Time to Read: 64 Minutes

Chapter Summary: The infamous beef between Adam and Cherry Blossom draws near, along with the end of life as Joe knows it.

“I think I'll take the Osso Buco tonight. And a glass of Lafite if you will.”

“Oh, feeling fancy tonight, aren't we four eyes?” Kojiro huffed as he wrote down the order, a small wisp of a smile dancing on his lips as he passed it through the window to the kitchen for one of the line cooks, Tagawa Rioto, to take. The chef rested his forearms across the bar and whispered, “Early celebration before your beef with Adam?”

Kaoru scoffed, leaning back in his chair, “No. Just wanted to try something different, that's all.”

It was a night just like many other nights. Sakurayashiki Kaoru had found himself drifting through the luscio vetro doors of Sia La Luce as the last of the dinner rush's customers filtered out the establishment, bellies full from delicious meals and tongues stained from decadent wines. He's seated in his usual seat, twiddling with his fan while the busboys cleaned the dining tables and the manager and sous chef counted down the registers.

“Still. Didn't even settle for the Tomato Risotto, the Crab Ravioli, or hell, even the Pasta Puttanesca." The smile dropped from Kojiro's face. “Are you worried about Saturday?”

Worried, or perhaps the man's anxiety was beginning to overwhelm him? The previous weekend, everyone at S was bursting at the seams for the titular beef between the gallantly Matador of Love and the ice demeanored AI Skater, but a singular phone call had destroyed the tense yet exciting atmosphere of the tournament.

“What?!" Kojiro remembered Adam snarling into his phone, his grip on the device near-shattering. The god of the mountain had been disgruntled ever since he pulled Cherry Blossom's card from the selection box, his reluctance to race the pink-haired ninja ever evident as his normal pre-battle peacocking was nowhere to be found.

Adam's brows had pinched; his lips fell into a repulsed frown. Whoever was on the other end of the line was obviously delivering some very unwelcome information.

“Ugh," Adam sighed before picking up his board and flipping it over his shoulder. “God help me. Fine, doggy, I'm coming. Be a dear and have my suit ready, will you?”

The little beep as he hung up seemed to echo around the now silent starting line. Adam turned to Cherry Blossom.

“Sorry, Cherry darling, looks like our little rendezvous will have to wait. You know just as well as I do that we can't just ignore when duty calls," the matador said and shrugged in response to the rosy haired man's raised brow.

The S Gallery started to moan in disappointment, “No way!s”, “Come on!s”, and “Are you fucking kidding me?s” coming out from all around.

“You could just forfeit here and now," Cherry Blossom had said cooly, crossing his arms as Adam took a small step towards him. “It would save you the embarrassment of losing later.”

Some of the gallery gasped. Some even whistled and crowed at the audacity.

Adam had grinned, “Hah, cute, but no. You're not going to ruin this for me, Cherry. Besides, you've been vying to beef with me for so long, it'd be so horribly pathetic if I didn't finally grant your wish.”

“Tch," Cherry had glared as the man walked past him.

As two capmen opened up the gates for their boss to pass through, Adam suddenly turned around and held his arms out wide.

“Fear not, everyone~" a lilt had made it back into his voice. “While I sadly must depart, I assure you the tournament will resume as soon I deal with a couple annoyances.”

Adam clicked his heels. “Oh yes, I can see it now, can't you? Sparks to fire, fire to ash, enmity running through our very bones, through our very flesh. Oh, the tracks will be flush and full with our passion!”

As it was whenever Adam showered the mountain's occupants with his baritone voice, the S Gallery was enraptured and triggered into a vigorous furor. Cheers, screams, and chants were abound. Boards were held aloft, high over skater's heads like flags waving in the wind. The fan groups came to life, injecting the mountain air with bolts of fanatical energy.

“Hell yeah, Adam!”

“You got this, Cherry!”

“Cherry-sama, don't lose!”

“Can't wait, Adam!”

“Adam!”

“Cherry!”

“Adam!”

“Cherry!”

“Adam!”

“Cherry!”

As the crowd's rowdy screams grew louder, the matador's grin grew wider, his fangs on full display for all to see. He clicked his heels again, and the wind slid in to pick up his cape as he twirled round. As he walked out of the iron gates- a black sedan waiting for him on the other side- he gave a few final, foreboding words of departure. They still echoed in Kojiro's mind even now.

“Next Saturday. The Parable of Sakura!”

“It's not Saturday I'm worried about," Kaoru muttered as he set his fan down on the bar. “I've had a rough week.”

“What happened? Difficult client?" Kojiro asked.

“It's nothing I can't handle," Kaoru replied, pausing as a server, Oshiro-san, came bearing two wine glasses and a 1996 vintage.

“Thanks, Hirohito," Kojiro smiled as he accepted the glasses. “Don't worry about the rest of those dishes, I'll get them. And tell Jona that after she plates the polenta she can leave as well. I'll take care of this freeloader," he continued with a smirk in Kaoru's direction.

The calligrapher rolled his eyes. “Oshiro-san, I must thank you for constantly putting up with this bumbling oaf of a man. Though, perhaps the paycheck is why you tolerate him?”

Hirohito smiled, having grown used to the two's banter a long time ago. “It's nothing, sensei. Chef's always been good to me, so I like to stand by him as much as I can.”

Kojiro laughed, “See, now that's what we call loyalty, four eyes. I'd imagine you'd kill to see an employee show you that.”

The server chuckled, “But the pay's good too," and headed back into the kitchen to finish the night's duties with his coworkers.

As a betrayed look fell upon his friend's face, Kaoru snickered, “Aww, gonna cry?”

The restaurant owner flipped him the bird as his sous chef and manager shut the drawers on the registers and walked over to him.

“Deposit bag's in the safe," the manager, Uehara-san, said as she slid the night's paperwork into the pocket of Kojiro's apron. “I'm gonna head out early tonight, see you Chef, sensei.”

“Goodnight, Uehara-san." Kaoru nodded at her while Kojiro said, “Night Sayuri.”

As the manager hurried out the door, the head chef slapped a hand on his sous chef's shoulder.

“Thanks again for coming tonight, Miyoko," Kojiro said earnestly. “I got a text from Teijo a couple hours ago; his plane is still delayed. Possibly going to be stuck in Osaka for a couple more days until the storm clears.”

“I needed a few extra hours anyway," Miyoko shrugged as the rest of their coworkers filtered out the back.

“Polenta's plated, Chef!“ Jona smiled. “Nice to see you again, sensei.”

“Likewise," Kaoru waved in their direction. “I hope all of you have a good night.”

“Thanks, sensei!" many replied in unison. “See you tomorrow, Chef!" the employees of Sia La Luce called as they left the two alone.

Kojiro waved them off as he spoke, “Now, what exactly is making you so tired?“ and popped open the bottle of Lafite to fill the pink-haired man's glass.

“I told you it's nothing I couldn't handle." Kaoru reached over and swirled the glass in his hands. “Just the usual.”

“Which usual? Client who doesn't know what they really want usual or client who wants to get inside your yukata usual?”

“Both wrapped in one," Kaoru grunted before taking a sip from his glass.

“Oh geez, “Kojiro shook his head, his curly, forest green locks threatening to come loose from their tie. “Let me go check on dinner while you get into it.”

The calligrapher sighed, “It's not much to talk about. He has a party coming up so he wants me to make a banner, but he doesn't know what he wants the banner to say, so I've been spitballing ideas waiting for him to say yea when he's constantly saying nay." He took another sip of wine. “It'd go a bit faster if he didn't get distracted trying to look down my collar.”

“He's not gonna see much other than your binder.”

“They think if they keep trying they'll get me on a day when I'm not wearing it.”

“He's gonna have to see you on an off day for that. And honestly, he's kinda sounding like the type of client you reject after the first time.” Kojiro pondered for a second. “Unless this one happens to be your type. Maybe after his commission he can make up for some of the stress he's caused you.”

“You know I don't do one night stands, you pig.”

“Hey, I'm just saying, maybe you'll get a full night's sleep for once.”

“I sleep well enough, thank you,“ Kaoru retorted.

“We both know that's not true," Kojiro countered through the window. “Seriously, you're trying to hide it, but I can see you've used concealer under your eyes.”

Kaoru's fingers hovered over his face, inches above his tired eyelids. “Fine, so I was up late a couple nights, but it wasn't because of this client. It's nothing too serious.”

Kojiro's voice sounded a bit off from the other side of the kitchen. “You sure?”

“Positive,“ Kaoru responded.

“Really positive? Cause if something's bothering you right now I think it's fair to use the same excuse Adam did. If he tries to make you forfeit I'll just call him out on his bullshit.”

“Thanks, but I intend to settle everything this Saturday. Besides, I don't think the Gallery would tolerate another abrupt ending to the tournament like that.”

Kojiro huffed, well aware of just how close the S Gallery got to city destroying ball sports fans when something ruined the electrifying energy of the mountain. He was about to give a word of assent, when suddenly, Kaoru's phone started to sing like a morning dove.

Kaoru retrieved his phone from his bag, eyes narrowing at the ID as he stood from his seat. “I have to take this. Be right back.”

“Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Hello?“ The calligrapher's voice drifted away as he walked to the front of the restaurant, the door letting off a little chime as he walked out.

Alone, Kojiro began to whistle, eyes utterly focused on the meal in front of him. Using a fork, he pierced one of the veal shanks, humming in approval as the tender meat easily gave way and broze broth trickled down into the simmering pot. Reaching over, he pulled the plates of plated polenta closer to him before reaching up and grabbing a ladle.

“I'm back, sorry about that,“ Kaoru said as he returned to his seat.

“What happened? Client cancel on you or something?”

“Not a client. It was just a friend calling, nothing serious.”

“Oh, a friend you say?“ the chef jested and smirked. “And here I thought you didn't do one-night stands.”

“I will fucking stab you in your own restaurant.”

Kojiro snickered. It wasn't every night that the calligrapher got a random call, but Kojiro never gave up the chance to tease his rosy-haired friend whenever a misdial or a telemarketer interrupted their nightly rituals.

“So, when you win, who do you think you'll go up against next?“ the chef asked, switching the conversation back.

“Don't know. It could be Shadow, it could be Snow, it could be this Snake, it's all chance anyway,“ Kaoru replied with a a shrug.

“You don't think Miya can beat Snake?”

“Miya's good.“ Kaoru frowned as he took another sip from his glass. “But, I don't think he's that good. Snake's experience will triumph over Miya's skill.”

“Yeah, well, I'm living proof that that's not exactly true.”

“Just because your technique's so sloppy that you could lose to a rookie doesn't mean everyone else will.”

“You of all people know that's no normal rookie!”

The two argued back and forth about their skating techniques as Kojiro plated the braised veal shanks and vegetables atop the polenta. Their conversation broke as he slide the plates onto a serving tray along with a basket full of the last of the day's fresh bread. He walked out of the kitchen, throwing open the door with a flourish and winked at his best friend.

Kaoru huffed, smiling into his glass.

As Kojiro set his plate down in front of him, the calligrapher suddenly jumped, eyes a bit wide. “Oh, I almost forgot, did you remember to give your okaasan the herbs I gave you?”

“Yeah, she made pesto pasta for herself and chichi one night, used the thyme for some cornish hens, think she said she was going to turn the lavender into syrup,“ Kojiro said as he sat down and picked up a fork to stab at his veal. “Can't believe my haha got you of all people to start an herb garden.”

“Perhaps I've learned the pleasure of nursing plants.”

“You can feel pleasure?”

“I could break this bottle of wine and ruin these counters, you do know that right?”

“Oh, and what are you gonna do when I have to replace them? Sit at the tables where people probably stick gum under?”

“I'm gonna throw veal on your chef whites.”

“I'll send you the receipts for the dry-cleaners.”

“You are insufferable,“ Kaoru pouted and shoved a forkful of veal, carrot, and polenta it into his mouth.

Kojiro chuckled, reaching over for the Lafite to fill his own wine glass.

“So, you prepared to wipe the track with him?”

“Everything is going to be fine, Kouki. You don't have to worry so much.”

“I know, Raki. It's just...it's him you know.”

“You don't have to remind me again.”

Kojiro reached for a piece of bread, and Kaoru reached for his glass once more.

“Hey, Kouki?“ Kaoru called as he drained the last of his Lafite.

“Yeah?”

“After this beef with Adam. I...I have something I need to tell you.”

“Why can't you just tell me right now?”

“Because you-because...it just has to be after.”

“Is it something bad?”

“No, not bad per se, but it may be a bit shocking.”

“Hmm, are you secretly planning to elope to Canada with that Kurihara guy?”

“What?! Kojiro, that man was older than my sofu!”

“Really? Cause with the way he was coming onto you, you'd think he was at least in his fifties.”

“He was not coming onto me; he's just really passionate about the history of calligraphy. He was complementing my stroke work.”

“Oh yeah, I'm sure those were the “long lines and lustrous curves” he was talking about.”

“Oh my god, shut up!”

“Make me!”

--

As the last of the lights to Sia La Luce blinked off, the engine of his panel van came to life with a dissonant hum.

“Carla, please play Car Soundtrack 7.”

“Okay, Master. Playing Car Soundtrack 7.”

He started off. Darkened buildings waved him down the road; bakeries with dead ovens, other restaurants, flashy clothing stores, and the like drifted by as they were enveloped by the shadows trailing behind the vehicle.

It didn't take long before he was driving by his temp studio and storage as well. The cherry blossom tree out front was dancing, twirling this way and that like a stout ballerina, her hair fanning out against the brisk winds of the night, the street lamps her spotlights and the moon and stars her ever captive audience.

“Incoming message from “Mongoose”," Carla interrupted the soft tunes of the radio. “Don't stay up all night making out with Carla. It would be a shame if Sleeping Beauty lost the only two traits he was known for.”

“Carla, reply with a middle finger emoji.”

“Replying.”

For a few minutes, there was a back and forth of chimes between the two departed friends. Kojiro eventually sent his last goodbye and the song on the radio returned, the combined forces of Lafite and light piano chords lulling Kaoru into a meditative state.

Perhaps it was the calm night, perhaps it was the wine, perhaps it was the songs trilling through his mind, nevertheless, inadvertently, his mind wandered to the past.

"Are you going to break up with me?" the nineteen year old Kaoru asked.

His childhood room was both clean and messy in its own right, his own little haven of programming and engineering textbooks stacked up on the shelf closest to his desk, canvases and scrolls piled up in his closet, nearly spewing out the door, paints and inks and their smells clung heavily to the tatami mats and anything else that was laid out during the long sleepless nights of fights against anxiety attacks. That night, he'd laid in bed next to his second closest companion, the only light offered to them from his moon-shaped lamp on the left nightstand.

"Now, why would I do that?" Adam- no, Ainosuke- asked as he lazily flipped through the latest edition of his astronomy magazine. The blue-haired skater had always been somewhat interested in his little hobbies; it made him wonder if he didn't have his own stash of magazines at home.

Kaoru pursed his lips, his fingers curling around an errant string from his pillowcase. "You haven't wanted to come over like this in a while, and you haven't wanted to beef lately either; I was starting to think you'd gotten bored of me..." and immediately flushed when he looked up and caught a scarlet eye peeking over the edge of the magazine straight at his legs. He'd only been out of the bath for about five minutes when the signature tap tap tapping against his window meant that either his boyfriend or his best friend wanted entry and was in severe danger of falling from the cherry blossom tree's high branch that raked its fingers against the glass, so he'd hurriedly slipped on his bra, boxers, and a t-shirt to go let them in.

"My obasans have had me practicing for a violin recital," Ainosuke muttered as he set the magazine down next to the lamp. "I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry, darling."

"No, no!" Kaoru waved him off. "Family matters suck, I understand. For the past couple weeks my otoosan has been making me take tea with with a few of his business partners."

"Why?" Ainosuke raised a brow.

A sour looked came upon Kaoru's face. "He and my sofu have been "concerned" about my marriage prospects."

"Oh," the blue haired teen gave him an amused smirk. "And what are they like?"

"If you added yours, mine, and Kojiro's ages they still wouldn't be the same age as some of my "prospects"."

Ainosuke let out a loud, sharp laugh that filled the room and echoed down the hall. It was fine; Kaoru'd been the only resident in the house for the last couple of days anyway.

"Are you going to be the topic of those talk shows where people make fun of old men with young brides?" His eyes twinkled with mirth. "Or will you be on the front cover of a tabloid in a wedding dress?"

Kaoru snorted. "I'll jump off a bridge before I let anyone force me into a wedding dress."

Ainosuke huffed. "I think there's a better way to ruin your marriage prospects."

"How?"

In a flash of white, the other had thrown himself on top of him, his hands cradling either side of his head and a knee pressed between his legs. Kaoru's eyes widened a bit as he sunk down into freshly laundered cotten sheets.

"One thing I know all men hate," One hand had trailed inside his shirt to fiddle with the clasp of his bra. "is when they see something they want claimed by another man."

His bra was undone, and he gasped as that same hand slipped into his boxers. He reached up and started tugging on the other's jacket and turtleneck.

"You better not bite me too hard," "Kaoru grunted as his boyfriend leaned down to kiss his neck. "Kojiro called you a vampire last time he saw the mark you left."

"Maybe I am a vampire, and I'm claiming you as my mate."

"Oh, a creature of the night? And here I thought you were heaven-sent," Kaoru joked as he finally got the other's tops off and froze.

Both of Ainosuke's forearms were like a canvas, streaked with vibrant red strokes all the way up to his elbow. The last time he had seen them, they were a powdery pink, but these had been irritated, prodded, and scratched. Kaoru gently trailed his fingers along one of his forearms, and Ainosuke grew still.

The rosy-haired teen reached up to cradle his cheek. "One day, you have to promise to tell me about these, okay?"

In the dim lamplight of his bedroom, Ainosuke's eyes had always seemed brighter, like an ardent sun, fuller, like polished rubies. He stared down at him unblinking, and Kaoru stared back, unafraid and amorous.

"Fine."

Pulling him down, Kaoru pressed a gentle kiss against Ainosuke's lips. "Go on. Claim me."

The rest of their clothes were discarded on the floor as his boyfriend reached a hand under his mattress to retrieve a condom. Once more, they came together, hot and rough like asteroids, murmurs cool like comets sprang from their lips, with each thrust they became closer and closer.

"Ainosuke~"

"Look at me, darling. Don't focus on anything else. Not your family, not those old perverts, not even Joey. Just me. Keep all your attention on me."

After, they'd laid in his bed for a couple more hours, Ainosuke's head rested against his breasts, his breath even against his warm, sweat covered skin.

It'd be a sweet memory if he hadn't seen the man lead someone he'd called his Eve off a cliff just a week later.

It was a long thirty-five minute drive before he was moving by the larger atelier and driving into his garage. The radio shut down with a small chut; the engine shuttered before dying. He grabbed his bag, and when he climbed out of the driver's seat the estate greeted him as an old friend.

“Carla, what's the temperature for tomorrow?" Kaoru asked as he unlocked the door, the lights from the living room receiving him from the genkan.

“The temperature is estimated to be high 32*C (89*F) low 22*C (72*F) with a estimated 7% chance of rain. It is recommended to wear sunscreen along with your parasol.”

“And my schedule?" he said as he slipped off his zori, the sound of the television playing Akatsuki No Danuja went through his ears.

“You have a meeting at Kaede Cafe at 9:30am, you then slotted time between 10:45am and 12:45pm to grade your students' trimester projects, at 1:30pm you scheduled to meet with Yamamura Hayate to discuss payment on the march exhibition piece, and you then slotted time between 6:00pm and 8:00pm to work on commissions.”

“Thank you, Carla.”

“You're welcome, Master. Have a goodnight's rest. I will begin playing Melody 1.”

--

“Thank you for meeting with me here today, Yamamura-san.”

“No, please, the pleasure is all mine, sensei.”

Lunch time at Sia La Luce was a venue of golden rays, the evening sun shining through the windows to bask diners in its soft light. The air was filled with the sounds of guitars as waiters and waitresses danced and weaved through tables, their hands filled with streaming trays and cold drinks.

Two bowls of steaming cioppino sat on the table between the calligrapher and his client along with a basket of breadsticks. The smell of crab, scallops, shrimps, and other delicacies from the sea wafted up to their noses and made their mouths water.

“I was elated when you agreed to meet with me in person about the exhibition piece instead of doing an auction, “Hayate said as he spread a napkin across his lap. “You see, my wife just loved it and wanted to have it sent to our vacation home in Spain, and I couldn't say no to her.”

“It's truly no problem," Kaoru replied as he folded his hands atop one another, his fan buried beneath them. “Believe it or not I prefer to talk with buyers one on one rather than auction off my pieces. It means that someone loved my work enough that they were willing to take time out of their day for it, and it gives me a chance to speak with others who respect the art of calligraphy as much as I do.”

The two let off hearty chuckles.

“Well, I won't waste your time, sensei, and I wouldn't want to let this delectable meal grow cold, so I'll get straight to the point. I'm offering ¥1,500,000 for this piece with an additional ¥5,000 to have it shipped directly to the port for my men to receive." Hayate smiled.

“¥1,500,000? Oh my; that's certainly the highest offer someone's ever started with," Kaoru said with faux surprise. “Most people usually start at ¥10,000.”

“Those people don't usually frequent art museums," the business man countered. “I've been to enough to discern whether or not something is pure garbage with too many zeros behind it or a work of art such as yours.”

“You flatter me," Kaoru tapped his upper lip with his fan and fluttered his lashes.

“You flatter yourself, sensei. Honestly, Kida-sama was a genius to leave his legacy in your hands.“

At the sound of his master's name, Kaoru's smile became a bit real.

Hayate reached inside his blazer to retrieve his checkbook. “Now, sensei, do we have a deal?”

“Indeed we do. ¥1,505,000 is a very generous payment. Thank you, Yamamura-san," Kaoru beamed as the man scratched the numbers down.

“Honestly this amount almost feels paltry." Hayate smiled as he tore the check out and handed it across the table.

“Such a man with words, Yamamura-san," Kaoru chuckled. “Carla, please put a notice on my website that the march exhibition piece has been sold, and send a receipt for the amount of ¥1,505,000 to Yamamura-san's email.”

“Okay, Master," the purple bracelet responded.

“I've always been envious of your assistant," Hayate marveled at the slender device. ���Dutiful and only speaks when she needs to.”

“Sometimes I feel like I'd be lost without Carla," Kaoru said with a smile towards his wrist.

Payment secured, the two dug into their meal, fish and scallops melting on their tongues along with the garlic and parsley of the bread. With their business concluded, the two shared a light conversation, of course, about the calligrapher's business.

“Have you ever thought about starting a museum, sensei?" Hayate asked as he dabbed at his mouth with a napkin.

“Museum? Why, no, I can't say that I have," Kaoru set down his spoon. “While I have visited and donated to a few, I can't ever say I've had the thought to put my works in one or create my own.”

“You should," the man's voice took on a conspiratorial tone. “AI Calligraphy after all is a way to bring the art and history of the skill to the modern age, into the minds of lower class children and other everyday people. You could start your own museum, mix together your technical know how and calligraphy to your heart's content.”

Kaoru giggled into his hand. “Are you sure you just don't want a chance to see my pieces whenever you wish, Yamamura-san?”

“Ahaha, I won't say no.” The business man grinned. “A museum would give more like minded people a chance to meet and chat.”

“Oh, have you ever met someone at my exhibitions that you wish to speak to again?”

“Plenty! Why, at the march exhibition I ran not only into a friend, but a few more people who I ended up business partners with.”

“Oh, what luck. I'm happy that you could meet them.”

“Yes, yes. Oh, and thinking of that exhibition, I have another question, sensei.”

“Ask away, Yamamura-san.”

“Right, well, for context, it was right as a friend and I were leaving the exhibition. It was the oddest coincidence; just as we were about reach my car, we ran into another man with the last name Sakurayashiki!”

Kaoru froze, his hands frozen in mid-air. “Is...that," he took a breath, dropping his limbs. “Is that so?”

“Yes, indeed," Hayate nodded. “He was a rather astute man. We ended up taking lunch with him and talking for a while about your works. He happened to know alot about you, almost intimately, and I couldn't help but wonder if you two were related in some way. Tell me, do you have a relative with the name Daishi?”

Under the table, Kaoru's hand gripped his thigh tightly. His heart, that had been relatively calm throughout this entire interaction, was starting to beat a bit faster.

'Damn it,' he thought. 'I didn't even see him that time around.'

“I do have a relative with that name," Kaoru painted a tight smile on his face. “Though I haven't spoken with him in almost a decade. If it was him, I'd honestly be surprised that he remembered much about me.”

Hayate nodded. “Understandable, I was just so curious since he seemed to know so much about your work. He has, it seems, been to every one of your exhibitions, and to every auction, and to every charity fundraiser you attended. I couldn't help but think he was a close relative.”

“What dedication!" Kaoru said through nearly gritted teeth. “Perhaps it is him, and he's trying to reconnect. Perhaps I should look up his number and give him a call.”

Hayate chuckled. “Indeed. Now sensei-, “the man was interrupted by a loud buzzing sound from his back pocket.

“Excuse me, sensei, that must be my son with this quarter's report. I will be right back.”

“There' s no problem. Take your time, Yamamura-san.”

As Hayate stepped out of the restaurant, Kaoru took his chance to remove his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off a headache.

'Fuck, 'he thought. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Giving up, Kaoru covered his face with his hands, taking a deep breath, but not allowing himself to let out the load groan he wanted to. The chatter of other tables in the vicinity and his reputation well on the forfront of his mind even now.

A tiny clink caused Kaoru to remove his hands. In front of him on a cute, little, flower-shaped serving dish laid a serving of vanilla panna cotta with a mixed berry coulis.

“You okay?" Kojiro asked as he handed him a dessert spoon. “Do you need to take a step in the back to breathe?”

Kaoru shook his head. “I...I'm fine. It's just....it's my otoosan.”

The chef's eyes narrowed. “He's still stalking you?”

“Apparently," Kaoru looked back to see if Hayate was still occupied. “I hadn't seen him in a few months. I thought he finally stopped.”

Ever since Kaoru had started living on his own, he'd made an effort not to think about his father. However, he quickly learned that his father was not so keen on forgetting or letting go of his child. Sakurayashiki Daishi was like a blot of stray ink on the well crafted art-piece that was Kaoru's career and adult life. It was small and hard to notice, but if he were to slip up even once it would smudge and reveal the imperfections not only in his work but in himself.

“You really need to consider getting a restraining order," Kojiro ran a hand through his forest green locks. “He can't keep harassing you like this.”

“He won't comply with a restraining order, and I can't risk him retaliating by outing me to some of my clients." The calligrapher grimaced. “You know he would.”

Kojiro rested his hands on the table, “Have you thought about hiring a security guard? They could be with you when you do your exhibitions.”

“Once or twice, but it seems like a waste of money to have a security guard just to have him looking out for one person." Kaoru placed a hand on his chest, breathing slowly to ease his heart.

'"'In two, three four,' Kaoru thought and exhaled, 'Out, two, three, four.'

“Your safety is always the most important thing. I can even get a uniform and be with you on those days if it would make you more comfortable.”

“My exhibitions are always during your work days, and you never take days off," Kaoru denied. “Plus, it would be during the lunch rush, and you need all hands on deck for that.”

“I can hire another line cook," Kojiro replied flippantly.

“Can you even afford another line cook?" Kaoru let out a deep breath.

“I'm back- Oh, hello," at the sound of Hayate's voice both men straightened up.

“Welcome back, Yamamura-san," Kaoru said easily. “This is Sia La Luce's owner, Nanjo Kojiro.”

“Hello, Yamamura-san," Kojiro grinned and took the man's hand to shake it. “I hope you've had an enjoyable time.”

“Hello, Nanjo-san, I have indeed. A fine establishment you have here." Hayate nodded. “Wonderful food, wonderful music, and just the right company." He smiled at Kaoru.

“Still with the flattery, Yamamura-san," Kaoru opened his fan to hide and fix his deteriorating smile.

“Well, I'm happy you've enjoyed yourself. I'll leave you two to your dessert," Kojiro easily shifted the man's attention to the dining table. “Please, let me know if you need anything else," he said while staring directly at Kaoru.

“Thank you, Nanjo-san, “Hayate eagerly sat down for the treat.

“Have you ever had panna cotta before, Yamamura-san?" Kaoru asked as he scooped a bit of the gelatinous cream.

“I have not. This surely looks delectable!”

“Well let's not dawdle, we wouldn't want this to get warm would we?”

“No indeed. Let's dig in, sensei.”

--

“You got this, Papaya!”

“Keep it up, Hawk! You're almost there!”

The air was thick with the salty taste of sweat, the cloying smoke of nicotine, and the burning tinge of rust. Leaves from the surrounding woods rustled off their branches, raining down on unsuspecting persons, giving them a very brief respite of cool nighttime air. Lane lights flickered and the swarming moths, nats, and other insects bzzzzed around the warmth of the yellow bulbs.

Not for the first time, and not even for the hundredth time, the mountain space had become a congregation of painted, flashy, dressed up, dripped out bodies. Longboards, streetboards, and cruisers filled nearly every hand, knocking against one another as their owners whooped and raved.

And everyone in attendance wouldn't have it any other way.

“Bzzzt!”

“Fuck yeah, Papaya!”

“No way; Hawk lost!?”

“I can't believe it!”

“Believe it, baby!”

A bit of a ways away from the megatron, along the jagged rocks of the mountain's sides, the top skaters of S watched languidly as the current beef came to its end. They had been there for a while now, and, having somewhat had their full of the ramps and bowls for the night, rested while the lower ranked skaters had their fun.

“Joe!" A blonde haired woman chirped excitedly as she ran up and grabbed a hold of one of the man's arms, resting her chin on his shoulder as she asked, “Joe, are you gonna skate tonight?”

“Yeah!" Another fan grinned as she took a hold of his other bicep. “Please, Joe, you haven't skated a beef since last week!”

These two women were a normal sight to see in the Muscle-Bound God of Skateboarding's arms. They were prominent members of the man's fan group, The Sunflowers, bearing his signature tattoo along their neck and right arm respectively. One was undoubtedly a skater, her orange sneakers dirty, soles caked with dirt, laces stained brown, and the lip bent, while other wore classy white heels with an embroidered sunflower on the sides.

“Sorry, ladies." The Six-Pack Skater smirked, wrapping a hand around both of their waists to pull them close. They sighed dreamily, pressing their breasts against him as he continued, “Cherry-sama has been so scared about his beef with Adam Saturday, I've been keeping him company so he doesn't chicken out.”

The women giggled, while, beside him, the AI Skater scoffed, crossing his arms. “Scared?”

Joe winked at the man, “It's okay cinnamon stick boy. Everybody here already knows you're as skinny as a twig, so it's no surprise that your scared Adam could throw you around with one arm.”

Cherry Blossom glared. “Throw me around? You wish. It's unlikely that he could even lift me.”

To be honest, it wasn't. Both of the skaters had a very distinct memory of their adolescence, of when their former friend picked up the pink haired man- albeit with both hands- and carried him in his arms all the way to the underpass where they frequented after the AI Skater's ankle had swollen up from a particularly nasty bail.

“Cherry-sama isn't afraid of Adam!" another voice chimed in.

“Yeah! There's no way he's gonna lose!" shouted one more.

Not too far away from the main group rested both Cherry Blossom's fan group, The Yozakuras, and the rest of The Sunflowers. Like the men they cheered and fawned over, the two groups had their own rivalry. It was somewhat for show; it wouldn't make much sense for two rival groups to be buddy buddy with one another while their star attractions were snarling in each other's faces, and their revelry often caused the S Gallery to stir, igniting beefs between lower ranked skaters who wanted to be up at the top with the three greats.

“You know, Cherry, it's fine to admit that Adam could lift you like a newborn baby.”

“You know, Joe, it's fine to admit that your brain is smaller than a fly's.”

The two went at each other, this particular row more for the pageantry than one of their genuine tiffs. Their fans chimed in every so often with their own color commentary, turning a few heads from the screens to the habitual verbal face off between the infamous AI and Six-Pack Skater.

“I'm telling you it's not possible. He can't lift me.”

“Nah, it's definitely possible. Let's ask your robot girlfriend. What do you think, Carla?" Joe looked down to the purple and black board.

The skateboard's LEDs flashed. “While Master weighs the same amount of pounds as Snow, who Adam threw around with ease, Master also has more experience in skating with Adam, therefore there is a 69% chance that Adam would not even be able to lay a hand on Master, let alone pick him up.”

“Carla, don't humor him," Cherry chided.

“My apologies, Master,“ Carla went dark.

“You should listen to your machine, Cherry. It only wants to keep you safe.”

“Carla is not a machine!”

Sitting on a small boulder just a couple feet away, Shadow watched as the two older men got louder and closer with one another, having abandoned their boards at their feet while fire sparked in their eyes.

“So, how much longer do you think they're gonna go at it?" he murmured to Miya.

“Until Cherry leaves for the night," Miya muttered back.

“You weigh as much as a bag of feathers!”

“And you weigh as much as a bag of rocks!”

“Grasshopper!”

“Imbecile!”

Rolling his eyes at their antics, Shadow looked back to the current beef. Tabby was losing horribly to the Red Helens, their tornado carousel technique having disoriented the other to the point of vomiting on their board in the middle of the race, slipping and falling flat on their face, and losing a lot of headway right in the beginning of the match. He didn't really feel sorry for them, seeing as not only did Tabby owe him money from their own beef, but they'd been antagonizing the Helens for a while now. They were getting their just desserts.

“So, still no Reki and Langa tonight?“ Looking up, Shadow watched as Joe waved away his fans and walked towards him and Miya, his routine argument with Cherry Blossom already over.

“No," Miya frowned from his spot crouched on the ground as he set down his switch. “Langa was busy, and Reki just said no,“ he grunted as he pulled out his phone to show the men.

“I tried calling him and he didn't pick up," Miya gave Joe a concerned look. “Do you know what's wrong with him?”

“I can't say I do," Joe shook his head before sighing, “I tried talking to him last week, but I haven't seen or heard from him since.”

“Langa's been really depressed lately too. He hasn't skated once since your beef," the thirteen year old replied.

“I haven't talked to Reki since before the tournament," Cherry sighed as he strode over. “Neither he nor Langa have ridden by my studio either. Troublesome children.”

“I'm sure they'll work it out," Joe gave Miya a reassuring smile, leaning back on the rocks, “All we have to do is be there when they need us.”

Cherry looked at Miya's phone, squinting, “As much as I would love to continue this conversation, it's about time I head out,“ only for his fans to moan in disappointment.

“Cherry-sama, please don't go!”

“Yeah, stay a little longer, please.”

“You never stay all night, Cherry-sama. At least run a beef before you leave!”

“Sorry, but no." The pink-haired ninja ran a hand through his ponytail to untangle a knot. “Goodnight," he said to his companions before strolling off.

Joe watched as the lithe man walked off, his board tightly grasped in one hand while he tapped away at his phone with the other. He stepped through a hole in the fencing and slipped into the woods. It wasn't long before he was disappearing into the foliage; not even the stark white of his hakama was able to be seen.

“Aww.” One of the AI Skater's fangirls stomped her foot. “I wish Cherry-sama wouldn't leave so early! He always goes around this time.”

“I know," another pouted. “It's not fair.”

“He's so mysterious the way he goes into the woods, like prince from a fantasy novel!" One squished her cheeks, a blush dusting her pale cheeks.

“I tried following him once and got lost," a third cried. “I had to message the capmen on the forums to come save me.”

“Oh no! Did you get in trouble?”

“No, but I did get them a carton of cigarettes, some tea, and dango as a thank you.”

“Oh, that's great!”

As The Yozakuras pondered on the destination of their resident heartthob, the Six-Pack Skater couldn't help but smile. When he and Cherry arrived at S that night, they had parked their motorcycles near one of the abandoned security offices they had found hidden amongst the overgrowth and trees in their youth. It was mostly a hideout that the AI Skater snuck away to when he would be hit with a sudden panic and didn't want to lose face in front of the Gallery, but it was also a space for them to have a bit of peace and quiet, even inside their mountain paradise. Even after nine years, it was still a well hidden secret; the only ones to know of its exact location were Cherry, Joe, and Adam, though that didn't mean that their fans didn't try their hardest to find it.

“It's so hard to believe that they used to be the watch dogs of this place," Shadow deadpanned as the men and women continued to wail to one another.

“Watchdogs?" Miya raised a brow at him.

Shadow shrugged. “It's more of a rumor, but I've heard more than a few of the older skaters say that The Yozakuras were the capmen before capmen were actually a thing.”

Miya shoved his switch and his phone is his pockets. “That doesn't make any sense, old man.”

Shadow gritted his teeth. “I'm twenty-four! And it's not like I came up with it, just something I hear every now and again.“ He turned to Joe. “Is it true?”

It was Joe's turn to shrug. “No idea. If it's true you'd have to ask Cherry next time you talk to him. He took charge of S after Adam left, and I was all the way on another continent. By the time I came back, the megatron was up and the capmen were tending to the track.”

“Huh," Miya immediately whipped his phone back out. “Gimme a minute.”

Shadow and Joe watched the teen type away. “I doubt he's gonna respond while he's driving home.”

“Yes he can; he has Carla," Miya shot back.

“True enough.”

After a while of tapping keys and notification bings, all of a sudden, Miya groaned, throwing his head back as he jumped to his feet.

“He's no help," he nearly pouted as he lifted his phone for the two to see.

“No help at all," Shadow shook his head. “I'm gonna go get a drink and a snack, be back.”

Shadow stalked off. Miya huffed as he put his phone away yet again, a small glower forming on his face.

“Meh, it's not that big of a deal," Joe said, patting his back. “Besides, it's not like the capmen are all that interesting.”

“Lies," Miya denied. “You don't think about how mysterious they are?”

“How so?" the Six-Pack Skater rested his hands on his hips,

“Maintaining the tracks is a full time job, so it would be hard for them to have a day job. Adam has to pay them, so that means they do taxes, but what do they put their job down as? If they have families, then what do they tell them they're going to work for?" the boy talked on.

Joe snickered. “Who knows? You can barely see their faces half the time. Maybe the capmen are all secretly androids that Adam paid Cherry to create.”

Miya sighed heavily. “You're no help either.”

Seeing the boy's dejected face, it was pretty obvious to the twenty-six-year-old that Miya wasn't all that beat up about S's mysterious maintenance workers. Instead, as he shoved his hands in his pockets, palming at his phone like he wanted to whip it out again, Joe guessed that his thoughts were focused on the absent redhead of their group.

Well, there was one thing that could cheer him up, if only a little.

“Say, Miya, how about you and I have a beef?" he kicked up his board as a show of challenge.

“You want to lose to a kid in front of everyone again?" Miya immediately mocked.

“Hey!”

--

-X-

As soon as his mother's room went dark and the sound of light snores echoed in the hall, he tip-toed his way out of his room and through the house, stopping to press two fingers to his father's picture, before slipping out into the night. There were still a few lights on within the apartment block, so he dipped and weaved to avoid being seen by the nosy neighbors who would certainly question his mother if they saw him sneaking out. Flies and other chittering insects greeted him as he made it to the street, throwing his board down to get on his way.

At this time of night, the path to Sia La Luce was a mostly quiet one, though it was sometimes disturbed by the screeching tires of motorists on their way home. All of the businesses down that way were either closed or closing, owners and employees readily awaiting the sweet embrace of their beds and pillows after a hard day's work.

On regular nights, he wouldn't be making this trek alone. No, normally, he'd be making ride with-

“Reki," Langa said to himself, his eyes downcast.

Even with the tournament having been put on pause for a week, Reki still hadn't made an appearance at S. He'd taken a longer leave from work, and none of his texts had received even a single reply.

Without his notice, Langa slowed down to a crawl, the force of his kicks not nearly as strong as they could be. It took him a quarter of an hour to reach his destination. The imminent sounds of an argument between the Six-Pack and AI Skater was the first thing Langa heard as he skated around the corner towards the Italian restaurant.

“Tell me again why you needed a soccer mom van for work?”

“I told you that I needed a large space to transfer my canvases and supplies.”

“I feel like you could've just bought a pick-up truck.”

“I will leave you on the side of the road.”

Sitting in the front seats of his panel van with the windows down, Joe and Cherry narrowed their eyes at one another.

“It's just canvases, brushes, and ink; it can't take up this much space. Seriously, this is just like when you got all those LEDs for that Carlacycle of yours.”

“Are you forgetting that I also used my purchases to tune up the rustbucket you call a motorcycle?”

“Hey, slime," Miya chimed in as the door to his right slid open and Langa jumped in to sit beside him, “What took you so long?”

“Sorry," Langa mumbled. “I lost track of time.”

“Lost track of time, aren't you excited?" Shadow called from the back. “We got a downright legendary beef in like an hour.”

Langa pondered Shadow's words for a moment. He once thought racing Adam- experiencing the heart pounding exhilaration that was the King of S- was what he wanted all along. However, the thought of just being at S as it was didn't even cause a flutter in his heart.

“I guess I'm a bit excited," he muttered, looking up at the front seats. “Good luck, Cherry.”

“Thank you," Cherry turned away from Joe. “Reki's still a no show?”

Hearing the other high schooler's name, Langa's heart felt gripped by a hand made of ice.

“I can try texting him again," he replied and swiftly pulled out his phone.

“We won't be able to wait for him, unfortunately," Cherry said as he twisted the keys in the ignition. “If we don't leave now, we'll be late.”

As the group headed down the road, a bit of chatter started between the three adults while Miya flipped up his hood, somewhat immersed in his game, though his eyes flickered to Langa's phone every so often. Langa himself was just as focused on the device, blocking everyone out.

“So, Cherry," Shadow said. “When was the last time you beefed Adam?”

“My last time? Hmm, I think it was almost eight years ago, a little while after the first ever tournament at S. He challenged me to race him down one of the now defunct tracks.”

“Really? You never told me about that." Joe raised a brow at his friend.

“You were at work that night, and he asked me to keep it a secret between us," Cherry replied, gripping the steering wheel tightly for a second.

“There are secret tracks at S?" Shadow questioned.

“There are a lot more tracks that aren't really used anymore," Joe replied. “Some were too dangerous. Others would take a lot more upkeep than the we ones we use now.”

The van came to a stop at one of the traffic lights.

“Huh," the Anti-hero of S leaned forward in his seat. “So, who won?”

“Adam won, but not by much, “Cherry said.

As Cherry talked about his prior loss, Joe looked to the back seat. Usually, the teens were especially nosy when it came to matters prior to their arrival to the mountain, so not hearing them talk once was a major surprise.

Miya was still playing his dungeon crawler, the sprite of a red-haired knight hacking away at a vampire feasting on the heart of an innocent maiden. Langa was still staring at his phone; his eyes were glistening just the slightest bit.

“Hey, Langa, you good?" looking up, the young Canadian's clear blue eyes crossed with Joe's burgundy ones.

“I'm...fine," Langa muttered.

“Reki?" Joe asked knowingly.

“...Yeah," the teen answered, a solemnly slid his phone into his shirt pocket.

“Is he coming tonight?" Miya looked up, pausing his game. “He's pretty much missed the whole tournament.”

“I don't think so," Langa shook his head. “The last time I talked to him about it, he said he didn't care. I thought I saw him when I raced Joe, but I couldn't find him.”

“Hmm, that so?" the Six-Pack Skater pondered. “I talked to Reki before our beef, told him to come by, but I never actually saw him. After Kaoru's beef, how about we ask the capmen at the gates whether they remember seeing him or not?”

“I doubt the capmen would remember a random red headed child," Cherry disagreed. “I'll have Carla scrape the video records tonight and text you all later.”

“Sounds good to me," Shadow shrugged. “Besides, even if he doesn't show up, we can give him the good news later that you knocked Adam off his high horse.”

“Oh, Carla could keep a video and we can show him later," Miya smiled. “Reki might come back if he sees Adam lose.”

“I don't know," Langa looked down at his chest. “I just want to talk to him.”

The rest of the ride to S was filled with minimal chatter and a few quips between Joe and Cherry. Every once in a while, Langa would pull out his phone and look at his screen as if the final message would change on its own.

It didn't take long before they were driving through the gates of paradise. Cherry got out early, throwing the van keys at Joe to hurry to the starting line while they found a place to park. With just five minutes until the beef, the four of them flagged down a capman to race them to the top.

“Langa-kun!" The Matador of Love waved excitedly from his spot at the starting line. “Have you come to cheer me on? Oh, I can feel your yearning for our union even from here!”

Everyone watched as the Matador emitted large flashing hearts of rose gold. He was so utterly focused on the boy before him it was entirely possible that someone could sneak up and steal his case of cigarettes from him, and he wouldn't even notice. Langa himself simply blinked at the man, wholely uninterested in his usual mannerisms and mind preoccupied on something more import.t.

“Don't you worry, my Eve. We'll have our chance to race again very soon! I pro-

“Are you ready or not?" Cherry interrupted, his lips downturned behind his mask. "Or do we all have to wait another week while you stand there and fawn?”

Adam abruptly paused, and then suddenly, all the energeticness he was exuding seemed to fade away.

He turned and gave Cherry a lackadaisical smile. "Oh, I forgot you were here.”

“You!" Clenching his fists, Cherry almost threw Carla to the ground.

“Let's get this over with," Adam said brusquely.

A blaring horn silenced everyone on the mountain. Both skaters leaned forward, eyes focused on the starting line.

Three...Two...One...

“Bzzzt!”

--

“Tell us again, Nanjo-san, what exactly is your relationship with Sakurayashiki-sensei?”

“He's my best friend. We...we grew up together.”

The bright, fluorescent lights were pulling on the ends of his nerves and kicking at the front of his skull. His legs felt like jelly, barely holding him up as he swayed back and forth on his aching feet. Kojiro braced himself against the cold wall of the waiting room; he could very clearly feel the continuous thump thump thumping of his heart against his ribcage.

“And you can confirm that you're his emergency contact?" the officer asked as he jotted down notes in his PDA.

“In his medical records, yeah. In his phone, maybe.”

The heavy cough of a nearby elderly man in a wheelchair made Kojiro jump a bit. He rubbed at his arm, nerves already frazzled beyond belief. He took a wary glace across the room, watching as one of the receptionists inputted information on the newest patient.

The chef had never hated hospitals as much as Kaoru did, but he was willing to come around to his way of thinking just this once.

“And remind us, how did he end up in his condition?" the second officer prodded.

Kojiro's breath almost hitched as the events of just a few hours ago waded through his mind. First astonishment, then pride, then the loss of hope, shock, a moment of pure anger and fear, racing down the track as fast as he could, dust flying into his eyes, gravel cracking under the wheels of his board. Ad- that man- standing over Kaoru as he bled out onto the ground.

He didn't remember much after getting into Shadow's car. Not leaving out of S's gates. Not the high-speed drive down the road. Not reentering the city. Not even making it into the hospital parking lot.

He did remember running in. “Somebody please help me!" he had screamed.

He remembered putting Kaoru down on a stretcher, the entire right half of his face covered in blood. His left leg was twisted, his foot flopping as a nurse tried to rest it in the middle of the bed.

“Oh god," he had said as a sudden body shift had Kaoru spitting blood onto the blue sheets of the gurney.

“Let's get him to imaging!" one of them shouted.

Hee tried following the entourage of health care workers in to the backrooms, but one of the receptionists started pushing against his chest.

“You can't go back there, sir!”

“But...Kaoru...he-he's”

A scream from the back, “Code Blue!”

Code Blue. What the hell did that even mean?

He vaguely remembered the security guard and Hiromi grabbing him by the shoulders.

“He's safe now, Kojiro." The Anti-hero of S held him tight. “He's safe; the doctors will take care of him. Come over here with me. Let's take a breather, okay?”

It was only through Hiromi's coaxings that he was able to answer the triage nurse's questions, as jumbled and stunted as they were. It wasn't too long after they were left to wait that law enforcement showed up.

“We were just on our way back from a costume party," Kojiro replied. “We were walking back to the car when a truck swerved around the corner and hit him.”

“And you didn't think to call 119?" the officer raised a brow, trying to catch him in a lie, while the first added, “The car didn't stop?”

“He was unconscious and bleeding so much. I just...I wanted to get him help alright. Get him to the hospital instead of just sitting there and waiting." His fists clenched and he took in a deep breath. “I wasn't thinking clearly at the time, alright? I just....I needed to get him some help. And no the car didn't stop.”

He didn't know exactly which of the hospital populous called the police. Maybe it was the triage nurse at check-in who recognized Kaoru immediately from his hair and was currently whispering into the landline to someone. Perhaps it was the security guard who saw the blood spread across Kojiro's chest, pants, and hands and assumed he was the cause of Kaoru's state. Maybe it was the father of three who was sitting in the waiting area with his children, his wife's condition currently unknown. It could've been anyone really, but it didn't really matter now did it?

What did matter was that Kaoru was a very well-off and acclaimed artist. He had enough money to pay every single bill of whoever was unfortunate enough to end up there that night, and then buy the hospital just for the hell of it. His name held enough prestige that businesses in the West tapped his talent for signs, cards, and other stationery no matter the shipping cost just to have the bragging right of “I did business with Sakurayashiki Kaoru.”

People like that usually had an array of doctors and healthcare providers at their beck and call. If those people couldn't be reached, then they went to a more affluent facility; one that didn't have chipped tiled floors, dingy white partitions, and fading blue waiting room chairs.

It was more than a little suspicious when someone of Kaoru's social standing ended up in an everyday man's hospital.

“Can you tell us what this car looked like?”

“It was red; I don't remember much else. Sorry, but I wasn't too focused on the car at the time. Maybe it was a Hyundai, maybe it was an Altima. And before you ask, no I didn't get the license plate.”

The officer gave him a suspicious glance, orange eyes sweeping over his tattoo for the longest of seconds, before he sighed, sliding his PDA into his pants pocket.

“We may have some more questions at a later date, Nanjo-san. Please make sure that we are able to reach you." The officer said before walking off, his partner not far behind him.

Kojiro simply waved his phone in their direction, eyeing them both relieved and embittered as he finally moved over to fall down into one of the waiting room chairs. He ran a hand through his wind-wrecked hair, uncaring if chips of dried blood got stuck in between the threads.

“You sure you don't want to wash up, might make you feel a bit better," the sound of Hiromi's boots clacked against the tiled floors.

“I'll wash up when they finally tell me how Kaoru's doing," Kojiro replied. “It's been hours, yet nobody's talked to us yet.”

“That's good in a way." Hiromi sat down beside him. “Means he's still alive and kicking.”

The smell of coffee wafted up Kojiro's nostrils. “I got you something to drink," Hiromi said, pressing the cup into Kojiro's still trembling hands. “Thought they'd never leave.”

“They didn't question you as long as they did me," Kojiro grunted, swirling the cup in his hands, the warmth doing little to calm his nerves.

“I'm not covered in blood. Nor do I have a visible tattoo. And I don't look like I could defeat Mike Tyson and The Rock in a 2 v.1," Hiromi joked as he stretched out.

Kojiro let out a weak chuckle. “No, but you do look like you could take a cinnamon stick boy." Then paused. “At least in appearance. Back in the day, Kaoru would take on eight guys at a time with just a baseball bat.”

“That sounds terrifying," Hiromi shuddered, his mouth gaping at just the thought.

“It was...for the people who pissed him off.”

“I can imagine. They did check the car. I managed to hide our boards under the boot, and they didn't ask too many questions about the blood in the backseat. They were a bit suspicious of the dirt on the tires though.”

“Did they take a sample?”

“No.”

“Then they'll live. Soon as the day starts good, go to a car wash.”

A silence encompassed them then. Kojiro's attention flipping back and forth between the black double doors of the emergency wing and the slowly cooling coffee in his hands. Hiromi sipped at his drink, tapping away at his phone.

“I got a hold of Langa; he took Miya home then went back to his place. Tried getting a hold of Reki, still no answer," Hiromi said after a while.

“That's good," Kojiro nodded. “I'm glad they're both safe. Least Reki didn't have to see tonight.”

“Wish none of them did," Hiromi grimaced. “I was gonna bring Miya with us, but the kid ran off. I didn't want to waste time going after him so I-”

“You don't have to explain it to me," Kojiro patted the other man on the leg. “Thank you, by the way.”

“No problem.”

Kojiro finally took a drink from his lukewarm coffee. The call of “Hashimoto-san” from the receptionist was one of the only little sounds in the waiting area aside from the ever-ticking clock and the barely above a whisper voices from the corner televisions.

“You know, Kaoru started skating a year after I did?" Kojiro started as he set his cup of coffee down near his feet.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. His family...they were the strict sort of people and had pretty much planned Kaoru's entire life out for him, and it goes little to say that skateboarding wasn't a part of it. Between calligraphy and everything else he had going on the only time he got to even look at a board is when we had sleepovers.”

“Wow, would have thought you two started at the same time or something.”

“Yeah, I was so pissed when he learned how to rail grind quicker than I did. Held it over my head for weeks, the dick.”

“Like you probably didn't hold it over him when you learned to Madonna or something.”

Kojiro grinned. “It was actually a Grosman Grab.”

Hiromi was quick to lead Kojiro into a conversation of beginner and freestyle moves, a welcome distraction. While the constant talk of Ghetto Birds, Darkslides, and Rocket Airs could never take Kaoru off the twenty-six year old's mind, it did do the trick in getting his nerves to settle just the littlest bit.

“Wait, a Roastbeef Grab!" Hiromi exclaimed. “Isn't that more your style?”

“Kaoru would try anything back in the day," Kojiro snorted. “You should have seen him when he did a Benihana then went straight into a Daydream Flip. He even had Adam cheer.... “Kojiro grew quiet before he could finish his sentence.

His eyes found the doors once more. They were still, and not a bit of movement could be seen behind the opaque glass.

Kojiro bit his lip. Skateboarding had been such an important part of the duo's lives for almost two decades, and now there was a big possibility that Kaoru may never walk again, let alone skate.

“I'm going to kill him," Kojiro whispered, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. “I'm going to kill that son of a bitch.”

Hiromi squeezed the man's shoulder. “Gonna have to get in line after Cherry's fans," he said. “Some of those girls looked like they wanted blood.”

“They're the ones who are going to have to get in line.”

Adam had had a punch waiting for him for a very long time. Seven years of longing, hope, and anger all wrapped up into a gloved fist. When before it would have been on the shoulder or perhaps in the gut, now Kojiro could only imagine white, red, and gold mask fragments digging into alabaster skin.

Or perhaps, he could use another method? Adam was so very clever, coming up with new techniques on the fly. Maybe Kojiro should take his skateboard and give Adam a secondhand demonstration of just how effective his new move-

“Ahem, excuse me?" a hesitant voice broke through the man's seething thoughts.

Turning, Hiromi and Kojiro took note as a young woman stepped up to them.

“You are Nanjo Kojiro, right?" The woman stepped a bit closer. “Here for Sakurayashiki Kaoru?”

She was a woman of around average height. Her brown locks framed her oval-shaped face, her grey eyes a bit cautious. She was dressed in a white tee, a black and gold Mami Band jacket, blue jeans, and matching sneakers.

Kojiro found himself raising a brow. She'd used their real names, so she couldn't have been from S. And she obviously wasn't a doctor or nurse, dressed like that. Was she an undercover cop? Maybe they sent a pretty face to try and get a confession out of him.

“Uh, yeah," Kojiro did his best to put on his signature smile as he got up from his chair. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The woman took a deep breath. “I'm Takahashi Kioko, Sakurayashiki-san's babysitter." The woman gave him a small bow. “I was instructed to find you or Nanjo Chiyoko in case of an emergency.”

Kojiro stood shocked still, confusion overcoming his buzzing nerves.

“Um," Hiromi stared at the woman, incredulous. “I'm sorry? Come again?”

“I'm Sakurayashiki-san's babysitter," Kioko repeated, as if it was the most normal sentence one could speak in this situation.

“A...a babysitter?!" Kojiro exclaimed. “Why in the world would he need a babysitter?”

“That's-

“Kioko-oneesan," a sleep-ridden voice grabbed the men's attention, drawing their eyes down from the woman's face to behind her.

Holding tight to her left leg and jacket was a little boy. He wasn't well put together, like his white t-shirt and denim overalls had been shuffled on in a hurry. His shoelaces were still untied, tripping hazard trailing behind his blue power ranger sneakers. His rose colored locks were mushed together like he'd just been woken up from a deep sleep. His scarlet eyes were brimming with tears.

The child stared at Kojiro and Hiromi, his wide eyes as he tugged hard against his caretaker's pants as if he was trying to drag her away. The boy whimpered, his bottom lip wobbling as he asked,

“Where's chichi?”

---

For Kaoru's and Kojiro's nicknames I decided on names that I think would fit the child versions of them. Kaoru = Raki with the characters meaning “comfort” and “rare”, and Kojiro = Kouki meaning “light” and “hope”. The nicknames were given to them by their mothers.

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haha = mama okaasan = mother chichi = papa otoosan = father sofu = grandpa oneesan = elder sister/big sister obasan = aunt

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Original Character List (so far, good god just what have I gotten myself into?)

Sakuaryashiki [Redacted]– Kaoru's son Takahashi Kioko – Kaoru's Babysitter Uehara Sayuri – Manager of Sia La Luce Fujimori Teijo – Sous Chef of Sia La Luce Miyamoto Miyoko – Sous Chef of Sia La Luce Kawasaki Jona – Cook at Sia La Luce Tagawa Rioto– Cook at Sia La Luce Oshiro Hirohito – Server at Sia La Luce Kurihara - A client of Kaoru's Hashimoto – Random Hospital Occupant Yamamura Hayate – A client of Kaoru's Kida [Redacted] – Kaoru's master/calligraphy teacher Nanjo Chiyoko - Kojiro's mother

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