#their apex predator series makes me insane

[23fallencomets]

A love as sweet and gentle as yours

a liloscar ficlet for @quigzahhutt (this lowkey took forever because i kept jumping from plot to plot so for now, rip collared!liam and oscar, anyway i hope your day gets/got better 💕)

“We’re asking you out, if that wasn’t obvious.”

“Logan! Oh my god,” Oscar mumbles, covering his face with his hands. Logan looks smug, hands crossed against his chest while Oscar turns away, hands on his hips and contemplating his relationship with Logan.

“He wasn’t getting it!” Logan defends, turning back to a flustered Liam, “I’m being serious though.”

“I—yeah, I got that.” Liam says slowly, closing his books, “Just why?”

Oscar turns back around, cheeks permanently flushed, “Why not? You’re cute and funny, and can control Logan more than I can and we’ve been together for six years.”

“We don’t have to do anything big, you can just come over and we’ll have dinner or something.” Logan reassures, “It’s up to you, though.”

Liam’s gaze bounces between Oscar and Logan’s, confusion still swirling inside him as he nods, “Yeah, I’m down.”

Logan grins brightly at him, “Cool, I’ll text you the details.”

Meeting Logan and Oscar had been more of an accident. Liam, exhausted from school and work had collapsed at the nearest table in the library, determined to try and get through at least half of his homework. Unfortunately, running on a total of nine hours of sleep over four days finally caught up to him.

When he woke up, feeling less shitty and a pen stuck to his face, Logan and Oscar had been sitting at his table. Logan had a pair of headphones on, a ruler and some material Liam vaguely knew was from the architecture department while Oscar had a mechanical engineering book propped open, earbuds in and a notebook full of things Liam didn’t understand.

He also had a sweater draped over him, keeping him warm from the biting cold of the library.

When Logan realized Liam was awake, he offered him a bag of chips and a water bottle before letting him know he slept for a good four hours. Which—okay he missed his shift which, whatever actually, Yuki probably covered for him, hopefully.

“We’re gonna get something to eat, if you want to tag along.” Oscar says, “You probably haven’t eaten anything properly in a few days.”

And Liam was a mildly broke college student, who was he to say no to food?

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

They had clearly cleaned the apartment when Liam arrived, dressed in a pink pullover that Jack insisted brought out his eyes—whatever that meant.

Logan had opened the door, excitement clear on his face as he leads Liam further inside into the kitchen. Oscar smiles widely at him, his signature prince swoop falling perfectly. Logan had stayed close, hand fidgeting by his side before Oscar nods.

“Let’s eat.” Oscar says, and together they plate the food and sit down. There’s clear nervousness in the air as Liam forks some pasta, taking a bite and humming, nodding in approval. Oscar grins, clearly pleased with himself.

After that, wherever either one went, Liam was close behind, hovering around until they pulled him in, keeping him close and no longer letting him fall behind.

Even now, with his back to Logan’s chest and Oscar in some strange straddle, muscular thighs straddling his own, he feels their touch everywhere; Logan and his need to have his hands on his partners, one hand under Liam’s shirt and the other one on Oscar’s thigh.

Logan is pressing kisses to whatever stretch of skin he can reach, occasionally nipping the pale skin until it blooms a pretty red. It leaves Liam breathless, even more so with Oscar’s hands on his face, their lips moving against each other’s desperately. He can feel Logan’s hands traveling, covering whatever he can with his touch.

Liam pulls away, lips swollen red and tilts his head, catching Logan’s lips with his own. The American groans, deepening the kiss as Oscar descends on Liam, determined to assuage the possessive nature and leave his own marks on Liam to accompany those that Logan left.

Yeah, Liam doesn’t think he’ll ever find a love as sweet as theirs.

[gayregis]

Do you like Regis' design in tw3 ? Have any actor headcanons who could play him in twn ?

omg no i hate him 😭😭 im so glad you asked though

here’s a quick rundown of the specific things i hate about regis’s design by cdpr:

the biggest issues to me are the following: ( and @ everyone reading... don’t try and excuse any of these with “but he was recovering from regeneration / healing / he was tired / stressed / upset” because cdpr could have just written a better plotline then):

he doesn’t smile very much in b&w. like... very much at all. and in the books, every time he is mentioned, he smiles with pursed lips, as is his custom. he kind of has this air of being amused by geralt in bof, smiling with pursed lips and then proceeds to be a true friend to him in tos and lotl, smiling with teeth on occassion. i consider this to be part of his character design because for characters like dandelion and regis, their smile is just an essential part of their visual description as a character.

the hairline..... i hate this count olaf pennywise motherfucker. cdpr tries to make their main characters look insanely different from every npc and that, to me, is not good character design. they should design for how the character is described and how the character feels, what visual elements do they think embodies the character. 

regis should not stand out. the entire point of him is that he looks just like a regular normal human guy. for this reason, the claws and teeth annoy me (not to mention regis is described as having just regular fangs and not all pointed teeth, not to even breach the topic of his having all pointed teeth the same shape/length would be difficult for animals to live with, look at the skulls of mammalian apex predators and you will find variation in their teeth).

where is his apron. it’s almost akin to twn removing jaskier’s plum bonnet with an egret/heron feather. it not only symbolizes his profession as a surgeon, but also his domestic qualities and general approachableness. it makes him look kinder, imo. he may heal you or he may bake you bread... either works

where is his cloak. a nice black cape i think is ESSENTIAL for a powerful vampire to have.

he wears some fancy and expensive-looking items. doctors in medieval times were not treated like they are today, regis is not living on a $150,000K+ annual salary, and nor do i think he wants to... he is a humble and sincere man, he spends 1/3 of his year living in the wildnerness. he wouldn’t care so much about fancy clothes unless the occassion called for it, like in beauclair, and then he would wear a nice fancy black velvet jacket that makes him look like a vampire. i think just giving him a simple black coat would suffice, maybe a linen shirt instead of a highly embroidered and decorated one. one key element about regis is that even though he tends to lecture, he never intends to make others feel inferior to him, i feel his outfit in b&w represents someone who is formal and would use their status to demean others... 

fingerless gloves. i like the fingerless gloves but they are incredibly impractical for a medic to wear... i think just no gloves would suffice (in bof, regis asks geralt to hurriedly pour a solution over his hands so he can perform surgery immediately, i feel that having to take off your gloves would waste valuable time.

regis should look kind, humble, run-of-the-mill skinny guy chilling in a cemetery at midnight, approachable, yet also a little ... off? it’s in the way he smiles maybe, hiding something... 

also (god im so negative, anon i sincerely apologize because you came here just asking questions and im like NO >:( I HAVE HATE IN MY HEART, i want to reiterate that i really appreciate this question because i love talking about the subject of character designs, the books vs the games, and regis as well) but also, i do hate twn, and i hope they skip him entirely or bastardize him so hard that there will be no resemblance and that no one in the fandom will ever care about him, because his character in the books has so much nuance and twn could never. 

i don’t really... have fancasts... because i don’t watch very many movies or tv shows... (also because i don’t think live action is the way to adapt the witcher!! we need a 2D animated series in a very beautiful unique style that becomes a cult classic!!!!) but as a joke one time i proposed jeff goldblum bc of the way he speaks and acts and also since he’s tall, skinny, and salt-n-pepper-y, and i had a good laugh, and then i started to consider and was like hm ok actually yeah sure why not. but i don’t really know him as an individual, and i think he did some shit, or was involved in a scandal, as all actors in hollywood do... 

tbh im not horribly picky when it comes to casting because i feel like acting and writing is more important than casting. but they should you know also fit the description of the character. im still kinda bitter about jaskier and yennefer’s hair in twn, and twn also requiring cavill to beef up for the role of geralt even though geralt in the books literally starves nightly... ok lol... but yeah as long as the actor is some middle aged skinny (tall, thats my headcanon) guy with salt and pepper/greying hair, preferably a long haircut, no beard but maybe stubbly, and has dark eyes and kind of a pretty face, a little bit angular but not sharp features, and sincere kindness in the eyes, then i’m good i don’t really care much about casts... just act good please....

[1zashreena1]

Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary:  What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry. 

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ ​ @symbiont13​ ​ @nicke0115​ ​​ @bunnykjm​ ​ @rosee-sensuelle​ ​ @girlpornparadise​ ​ @mandoplease​ ​ @heresathreebee​ ​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ ​ @jetiikad​ ​ @joalsglasses​ ​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ ​ @demoncatstone​ ​ @squidlywiddly87​ ​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ ​ @poeedamerons​ ​

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently?  We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity. 

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him. 

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35. 

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports. 

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence. 

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems.  He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister. 

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him. 

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down. 

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball 

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that. 

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing. 

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting 

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that. 

Princess. 

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap. 

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?"  His knowing grin is infectious. 

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me." 

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly. 

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York. 

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is. 

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after. 

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff. 

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah.  You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics. 

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?" 

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together. 

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together. 

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little?? 

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners. 

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go." 

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location. 

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??"  He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed. 

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration. 

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder. 

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow. 

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly. 

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk. 

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+. 

Until his phone rings. 

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego,  sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or  angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface. 

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out.  Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix. 

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was. 

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal.  For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One. 

Grand Theft. 

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking. 

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together. 

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now. 

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking.  You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have. 

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected. 

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego. 

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood. 

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good. 

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches. 

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?"  You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation. 

"I…. grrrrrrrrr."  He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes. 

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly. 

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona. 

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background. 

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps. 

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point. 

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good. 

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin. 

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth. 

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice. 

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable. 

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom. 

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable. 

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk. 

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing." 

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars. 

Armored cars. 

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars. 

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns. 

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling. 

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love. 

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat. 

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

 "I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week. 

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home. 

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man. 

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing. 

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement. 

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust. 

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself. 

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck. 

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside. 

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you. 

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"  

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed. 

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs. 

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps. 

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

 "Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

 "Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed. 

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes. 

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you. 

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears. 

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?" 

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours." 

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar. 

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you. 

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds. 

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing. 

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically. 

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw. 

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!" 

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?" 

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace."  He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth. 

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly. 

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off. 

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK. 

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one. 

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal. 

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt.  Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez. 

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you. 

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded. 

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive. 

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?" 

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby."  His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly. 

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation. 

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it."  You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard. 

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain. 

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow. 

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances. 

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic. 

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

 "Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable. 

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly. 

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine." 

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?" 

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat. 

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand. 

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down. 

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding? 

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

[dipulb3]

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it to fly

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-ram-1500-trx-first-drive-review-yep-we-got-it-to-fly/

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it to fly

“Now, as you come around to the ramps, you’ll want to be doing about 55, 60 miles per hour,” my co-driver shouts over the roar of the engine while rocks and dirt blast the pickup’s undercarriage. “That’ll get you the best height and distance for the jumps and set you up to start braking for the next turn.”

Uh huh. Jumps. I’m behind the wheel of the 702-horsepower 2021 Ram 1500 TRX, one of the most extreme and overbuilt performance trucks Ram has ever produced. And as the wheels leave the ground and the cacophony is replaced with an eerie silence, I’m starting to understand just how insane this apex predator really is.

Heart of a Hellcat

Ram’s engineers followed a familiar formula: Take a popular Fiat-Chrysler product and dump the 6.2-liter supercharged Hemi V8 from the Dodge Challenger and Charger SRT Hellcats into the engine bay. Pat yourself on the back; you’ve earned a beer.

Of course, there’s so much more to it than that. In the Ram TRX, that engine breathes through a new dual-path induction system that mixes air drawn through its functional hood scoop and with intake from the grille at the underside of a massive 29-liter airbox. Ram tells me that this design helps to tumble the air inside the box, shaking out sand and water before it passes through twin 8×12-inch air filters. With a total of 198.4 square inches of filter surface area, Ram claims this is the “largest air filter in the segment.” The TRX also features a unique, high-flow exhaust with 5-inch resonators and exhaust tips.

The changes to the Hemi’s breathing mean the TRX makes just 702 horsepower (as opposed to the Hellcats’ 717-plus) with 650 pound-feet of torque, which it sends though an eight-speed automatic transmission to a four-wheel-drive system. That’s more than enough power to launch the 6,350-pound TRX from 0 to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds and onward to 100 mph in 10.5 seconds. The truck will even run the quarter-mile in just 12.9 ticks. The TRX launches quickly and powerfully, immediately finding traction, even on a dirt runway.

This wide boi is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Suspension upgrades

In many ways, the suspension and chassis upgrades to the Ram 1500 TRX are even more impressive than the powertrain because they’re so much more extensive. The TRX’s frame is based on that of a Ram 1500 Crew Cab, but is modified with over 70% new parts to improve strength and rigidity, and to completely change the truck’s suspension geometry. The pickup’s flared body is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500, accommodating a 6-inch increase in both the front and rear tracks.

The TRX sits 2 inches taller than the standard 1500, boosting its ground clearance to 11.8 inches and its water fording depth to 32 inches. The front wheels are moved forward by 0.6 inch, increasing the wheelbase slightly and freeing up room for beefier suspension components and 35-inch Goodyear Wrangler Territory all-terrain tires, mounted on 18×9-inch wheels (or optional beadlock-capable wheels of similar spec that allow ultra-low tire pressure for crawling).

The TRX’s suspension and chassis upgrades are perhaps more exciting than the 700-horsepower engine.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You’ll find an independent suspension up front and a solid rear axle with coil springs and forged aluminum components all around. At all four corners, you’ll also find 2.5-inch Bilstein Black Hawk E2 adaptive dampers with remote reservoirs controlling the movement of the suspension. Up front, the TRX has 13 inches of wheel travel, with 14 inches of travel at the rear axle. (You can check our spec comparison to read — and watch — how the Ram 1500 TRX stacks up against the Ford F-150 Raptor.)

On the road

On paved roads, the TRX feels confident with, of course, great acceleration off the line and surprisingly smooth shifts from its eight-speed automatic transmission. The rumble of the V8 exhaust is ever present, but never annoying. The ride is still body-on-frame truck-like, but it’s no more floaty than the standard 1500, which already has pretty controlled ride.

The TRX features a total of eight drive modes, plus a valet setting. Highway miles are best spent toggling between the default and nicely balanced Auto setting and Sport, which sharpens the steering, suspension, transmission and stability control. Ultimately, I found it best to create a Custom setting that blends the two. There are also modes for Snow, Mud/Sand, Towing, Rocks and Baja.

From the 12-inch touch display, drivers can customize their TRX’s performance for a wide range of conditions.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You interact with the drive modes using a combination of physical controls and the standard 12-inch Uconnect 4C infotainment system. Ram says that this is the first implementation of its Performance Pages software with the big 12-incher, which also features menus for monitoring off-road metrics like wheel articulation, steering angle and axle locker status. 

Of course, the infotainment software still boasts all of the tech features that I like in the standard 1500, including SiriusXM 360L integration, standard Android Auto and Apple CarPlay connectivity, Uconnect Apps and more. You’ll also find a ton of physical charging options for phones and tech, including a total of five USB-A ports and five USB-C ports split between the front and rear rows, as well as a wireless charging pad at the base of the dashboard.

The pickup can also be had with a modern suite of driver-assistance technologies, including blind-spot monitoring, adaptive cruise control, forward pre-collision warning with brake assist and lane-departure warning with lane-keeping assist. Keep checking boxes to add a full-color head-up display and a rear camera mirror.

Drive modes and 4WD settings can be quickly toggled with these controls. Notice that there are no 2WD modes.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Off-road performance

Playing around at Wild West Motorsports Park in Sparks, Nevada, I’m able to first test the Ram TRX’s crawling ability over a fairly steep rock hill climb overlooking the race course. Setting the drive mode to Rock, the transfer case to its 2.64:1 4WD Low range and locking the Dana 60 rear axle sets the truck up for high-torque, slow-speed climbing. With the aid of Ram’s spotters and the TRX’s generous approach (30.2), departure (23.5) and breakover (21.9) angles, the TRX makes short and relatively easy work of the climb.

While waiting for my turn on the track, I’m able to explore the rocky grounds surrounding the course, testing the Selec-Speed Control — a sort of off-road cruise control inherited from the Jeep Wrangler — on another low-speed climb up a loose grade. The TRX’s dampers do a fantastic job of soaking up some huge bumps at speed, jostling me around in the deeply bolstered driver’s seat quite a bit, but still feeling nigh unstoppable over a two-track trail. 

In the air

Setting the TRX’s drive mode to Baja lets the 4WD, gearbox, steering, and stability control systems know that it’s time for business. Meanwhile, Baja sets the suspension for maximum travel and control needed for high-speed dirt driving. 

I enter the course at the top of a huge hill. Then it’s a stomach-churning drop down to the front straight and immediately over a small hop. Then it’s into the whoops, a washboard series of bumps that test the Bilstein suspension and Ram’s Active Terrain Dynamics software, which can react every 20 milliseconds to keep the truck balanced and controlled.

I was encouraged to really test the limits of the TRX’s advanced suspension.

Ram Trucks

After a sweeping left-hander (that I was encouraged to drift), it’s time for the big jump. Lining up for another downhill approach, I point the pickup at the dirt ramp and mat the accelerator, reaching the recommended 55-mph speed before taking to the air.

The TRX absolutely flies, and lands with such grace that I wonder if Ram should have instead called this tyrannosaurus a pteranodon. Looking back at my photos, I estimate the big jump was a little over 60 feet (about three and a half truck lengths) from takeoff to landing, reaching a height of about 24 inches. All 13 inches of suspension travel are used when landing, the dampers allowing for full compression while progressively firming near the end of travel with up to one ton of damping force at each corner to prevent bottoming out.

Wheels back on the ground, I let out a whoop of my own before getting hard on the 15-inch, four-wheel disc brakes for a sharp left-hander. Kicking up a big rooster tail, I snake my way back up the hill to do it all again… five more times.

Ram’s Truckasaurus is not a practical choice, but it’s definitely a ton of fun.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Availability and pricing

Starting at $71,690 (including a $1,695 destination charge), the Ram 1500 TRX is significantly more expensive than the $58,135 Ford F-150 Raptor SuperCrew’s. Fully loaded, you’re looking at around $95K for the TR2 trim level with all the optional fixings. Plus, the T. rex’s 10 miles per gallon city and 14 mpg highway ratings are worse than the Raptor’s 15 city and 18 highway estimates, meaning you’ll also pay more at the pump.

That said, the TRX is a bigger, more powerful predator than the Raptor with just over 250 more ponies at its beck and call. It’s also got a more advanced suspension, particularly at the rear axle where the Raptor’s still rocking leaf springs. (Rumor has it that Ford could strike back with V8 power and a coil spring setup of its own for the next-generation Raptor.)

The 2021 Ram 1500 TRX is not a practical truck, but it is quite possibly the most fun and most insane pickup you can buy today.

[the-dorothinquisiton-blog]

The Ravaging Flames - Chapter XIV

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**Okay, okay, so pretty much, I’m really new to this site. I normally hate the idea of social media, but I guess I want to try some new things or something, I dunno. Anyway, I like to write in my free time, or whenever I feel bored outta’ my ever-loving mind. I thought maybe a good start for me on this site would be to share some of my work; or at least, I hope so. This is just a little excerpt from a story I’ve been writing based on the game ‘OFF’ made by Mortis Ghost. I’ve always wanted to publish my work, so I decided to start writing a ‘test-novel’ of sorts to see if I might be able to interest a few people before moving onto something completely original! I might’ve made a few grammatical errors,  and I know that already, so don’t be all that harsh. I’m not opposed to criticism by any means, but I’m just not really looking for any of it right now. I’m posting this manly to make someone’s day a little better, if I’m even capable of that in the first place! This is Chapter 14, and for another note, (if you’re familiar with OFF) some of the character’s personalities and motives have been changed; so just try to bare with me! Sorry if it’s a lot out of context; I just chose one of the chapters I liked best. If people like this one, I might post more, I dunno. So, anyway, here it is. Enjoy this copy-pasted mess from my word document. ;~; 

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The cool night breeze flooded through the doorway, meeting the Batter’s cold gaze immediately. He had emerged atop the apex of the Great Library. The summit was rather flat, about forty feet wide and long. An eerily placed barred fence walled off the steep edges, preventing anyone from falling to their untimely demise. The night sky was lit ablaze with stars; from which the Batter could barely avert his eyes. Even he had to admit, it was truly an astounding sight to witness. Dark purple clouds swirled slowly in the midnight breeze, casting a series of somber shadows down upon the library’s peak. However, no one appeared to be anywhere within sight. No signs of life shone at all; the only sounds to be heard were the delicate howling of the wind. The Batter walked calmly over to the barred fence that enclosed the summit of the Library, and looked down at the rest of the Zone far below. The sight was stunningly beautiful to say the least; especially the vibrant lights of the city, and the pale glimmer of moonlight off of the ocean’s waves. Hordes of phantoms still flew around below, tormenting the Elsen ruthlessly in the streets and atop buildings. Most of the Zone’s citizens appeared to have already fled to their homes for the night, but the unlucky few were torn to shreds by the vicious carnivores far below the Library’s summit. The sight was truly painful to watch, even for the likes of the Batter. In an effort to break the eerie silence, the Batter spoke aloud to himself. 

“Show yourself Japhet the Millennial Firebird, for I have arrived.” The Batter’s cold statement echoed heavily in the stale air, reverberating countless times before dying off. After a short yet antagonizing silence, the Batter’s words were finally met with a response.

“Beautiful… isn’t it?” The voice came across shy and nervous; as if anticipating what was to come. As the Batter turned in the cold night breeze, he laid his eyes upon the feline host of Japhet, starring down at the breathtaking view. She stood facing away from him on the opposite end of the summit. “A sight as beautiful as this used to bring me to tears… That was a long time ago, however… I cannot even seem to recall how to cry any longer, to be perfectly honest.” Japhet proclaimed from within the feline’s body, a small yet noticeable frown spreading across her face. The Batter however, had dealt with enough of these foolish back and forth verbal games, and was growing distain of Japhet’s careless banter.

“You have brought nothing but chaos and suffering to this land. You are the parasite that not only feeds off of Valerie’s body, but this Zone in its entirety. Stop hiding behind your host, coward. Show yourself to me.” The Batter’s hardened words echoing out into the night sky. Japhet suddenly turned to face the Batter, her eyes glowing a deep purple. The Batter’s impatience seemed to resonate sourly within her.

“It isn’t like I wished so desperately for the poor feline to devour me whole! Is that what you think?!” Japhet shouted aloud, her voice growing pained and weighed down by thoughts of regret. “As I lay, in a peaceful sleep, the foolish predator tried to devour me, as you must already know… However, the foolish beast didn’t chew, and I now reside inside her body controlling her like a puppet… She deserved a fate such as this…“ Japhet’s eyes lit ablaze with anger as she bared a toothy grin. The Batter stomped the ground impatiently, cracking the ground beneath his cleat.

”Enough chatter. I understand that the incident with Valerie wasn’t your fault entirely; thus I have already forgiven your sins regarding the matter. However, that still doesn’t justify your crimes against this land, whether you wanted this or not, tonight you will close your eyes for the final time. Show yourself to me now, and die an honorable death.” The Batter proclaimed sternly. The frightening cat only giggled quietly in response, her grin spreading wider than before. Her emotions were clouded and vivid, changing from one to another within mere moments. Insanity was slowly setting in.

“As you wish!” The small feline began hacking and coughing violently as she uttered those chilling words. A pool of fresh blood gathered on the floor below her mouth, as something began to push its way out through her throat. A small avian-like head emerged from the bleeding maw of the cat, one that resembled that of an elegant, white bird. The bird blinked several times, adjusting herself to the cold outside breeze before speaking out in a hatred fueled voice. 

“Valerie couldn’t even chew through a little bird, right until the very end!” The small yet oddly exquisite fowl screeched. The Batter took a somber step backwards, as if he wasn’t expecting her statements to hold any water. It truly was a horrifying sight to witness; a bird forcibly ripping its way out of the mouth of a feline who attempted to devour it.

”What’s the matter, purifier? Could it be that you too fear my true appearance? Well, in that case, allow me to grace you with an even worse sight!” Japhet maliciously cackled, her voice shrouded deep within insanity. Without much warning, Japhet’s host body erupted violently, blood spewing profusely in all directions. As the cat’s body convulsed, two stunningly huge wings, at least sixteen feet long, seemed to arise from Valerie’s now trembling carcass. The horrifying visage of a huge, crane-like bird arose from the weakened corpse of the dismembered feline. Japhet slowly staggered to her feet, still not fully accustomed to her true form. The elegant Phoenix stood at least fifteen feet tall, her wings fully outstretched to the sky. Her eyes gleamed a sickening white, stained with a demented craze. Her neck was long and slender, leading up to her crane-like head. The saddened carcass of Valerie adorned her neck in a rather morbid fashion. It appeared as though when she began to grow into her true appearance, Valerie’s corpse had gotten stuck around her neck; ripping her body open in the process. Blood dripped down from the corpse of the cat, staining Japhet’s magnificent form in fowl drops of crimson red. A long, smooth tail protruded from the phoenix’s rear, slamming fiercely against the tiled floors of the Library’s apex. Yet, her elegant voice remained soft and calm, truly not matching her monstrous crane-like form.

“The more I fight for my people, the more I work to keep them satisfied, only to be let down miserably in the end. They have forgotten me. Against all reason… they’ve become mortified of my very appearance. I’m trapped in an everlasting misery, as if damned by the Thousand Faced Queen herself… But now, I am finally free. Far below this very Library, the carnivores that I wrought into existence look up to where I soar, far above the clouds themselves, far above the storms that plague this tainted world. I can feel the pure power flowing through my veins… The phantoms have set me free of my everlasting burden! They’re all around me, circling like vultures to a rotting carcass! I can feel their sickening presence even now as we speak! Yes, it is true! It was I who summoned the phantoms from the depths! They are truly by my side, even now in my final moments! I’ve risen up beyond the sky that confines me, beyond the stars that withhold me!“ Japhet preached to the stars above, her stunningly beautiful voice echoing far into the sky. With a sudden and fierce flap of her mighty wings, Japhet lifted herself into the sky. The now brightening stars above shone on her massive wings, giving her body a stunningly divine appearance. 

“The energy of the galaxy’s divine expanse has given me power beyond the stars themselves. Now Batter, strike me down! End my sinful existence before the very beings of my creation destroy this crumbling Zone!” Japhet screeched down at the Batter, her voice heavily weighed down by fear and grief. Even while begging for death itself, she still feared what lied beyond life’s touch. The Batter pointed his blood soiled bat up at the huge phoenix, a menacing glare upon his stern face.

“Now, look upon yourself. Driven insane by the very power you were graced with in the beginning… how regrettable. You are truly a demented child of evil, Japhet. Your reign of fear and your rule over the phantoms ends here.” The Batter’s voice grew cold and dark, a gnarled hatred growing from within him. The towering phoenix raised her head upwards towards the stars without another word, and opened her gaping beak wide. Her silky white eyes glowed brightly in the darkness of the night. From deep within her throat erupted a vibrant plume of pale purple flames into the night sky. The deep purple blaze spread out in the sky before arching back down towards the Library’s summit. The sky was truly raining heavenly violent fire. As the plumes of fire rained down from the sky, the Batter leapt from place to place; desperately trying to avoid the scorching blaze. He tried to maintain his balance, seeing as though one wrong step would land him straight into the searing flames. From far above, he could hear the demented cackling of the colossal phoenix as he leapt from place to place.

“Try as you might, Batter… I hold within me the searing flames of creation! This Zone and everything in it is about to come to an untimely climax, whether you care for its people or not! What will you do?! Run and hide like the coward you truly are?! Or stay and fight?!” The Flaming Sovereign taunted, her voice soaring far above the flames. She began flapping her heavy wings at a great speed, attempting to blow the plentiful fire straight into the Batter. The sportive purifier stopped dead in his tracks, noticing the vibrant violent flames spiraling around him.

The dancing flames seemed to form a towering hurricane of hellfire, engulfing the entire summit of the library within a barrier of churning flames. The Batter could feel the immense heat harshly pressuring his body from all angles. Japhet was now nowhere in sight, hiding somewhere upon the other side of the scorching hurricane of flames. The crazed phoenix’s chaotic laughter rang out in the Batter’s ears, emanating in all directions. Such an elegant voice should never have to utter such guttural laughter. It simply isn’t natural. It was near to impossible for the Batter to locate the direction of the maddening laughter, seeing as though the roaring flames that surrounded him emanated with such an unknown fury. Without warning, large assortments of phantoms began shooting out from the scorching barrier of fire; all headed straight in the Batter’s direction. They all laughed hysterically as they charged at him from all conceivable angles. Japhet was putting her mastery of the phantoms to sparingly good use. The air was filled with maniacal snickering and violent hisses of anguish. The souls of the dammed were closing in. The Batter swung his mighty bat from phantom to phantom, ducking and dodging as many cackling specters as he could in the process. No matter how many phantoms the Batter seemed to banish, more and more spewed from the spiraling vortex of vibrant purple hellfire. The Batter’s reflexes were spot on, however. He began swinging his cast iron bat as hard and fast as he possibly could in a furious attempt to ward off the countless spirits. Finally, the phantoms seemed to begin to die down in frequency. He had totally lost count of the amount of vicious ghouls he had purified, but all that mattered to him at that moment was completing his sacred mission; and of course avenging the tragic loss of the Judge’s dear sister. He would not stand for such a cruel and heartless deity to get away with these unspeakable actions, no matter how kind and compassionate she may have been in the past.

The walls of vibrant, swirling fire began to close in around the Batter however, leaving him with only a few feet of space left in which to move. The emanating heat and bursts of volatile cinders from the walls of broiling fire seemed to dance about, lighting the night sky ablaze in vibrant color. As the Batter glanced overhead, he saw Japhet circling far above at the highest point of the spiraling vortex. Her voice rang out above the churning flames.

“Farewell, foolish purifier! To think I actually thought you’d be strong enough to snuff out my life like a dying cinder. Now there’s naught left to do but burn you to crisp ash!” As she spoke her hateful words, bright violet flames brewed between her gapping jaws. The mighty phoenix reeled back her head, only to thrust it downward towards the Batter, releasing a fierce burst of blistering purple flames. The plume of fire traveled swiftly down into the spiraling vortex, leaving the Batter with no place to run. He was hopelessly trapped; Blistering fire resonating from all directions. All he could do was prepare to block the oncoming breath of searing flames with his mighty cast-iron bat. As the twisting flare of vibrant purple came in contact with the unprepared Batter’s bat, a vicious explosion of intense force ensued; dissipating all of the surrounding fire. Plumes of smoke erupted bleakly from the explosion as the rising dust began to settle back to the ground. Japhet soared above the scene, observing her handiwork from far above the summit of the Library. As the dust settled, and the sounds of churning flames died down, Japhet gently lowered herself back to her roost upon the Library’s summit. Bowing her head slightly while closing her eyes, she spoke aloud to no one.

“Sleep well, young purifier. You tried your very best indeed… but in the end, no mortal can best an entity of pure divinity such as I.” Japhet proclaimed confidently, folding up her colossal wings around herself tightly. Small cinders still flickered on the now singed ground, as a deafening silence rose into the stale air. The wind could still be faintly heard blowing gently through the air; its soft breeze stirring up dust along the Library’s peak. Just when Japhet was positive her resilient adversary was no more, a deep voice pierced the eerie silence once again.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Japhet. Divinity is just a concept of delusion, rendering you just as mortal as I am. Not even the darkest flames of the devil himself could cast me down.” The Batter slowly emerged from within the thick cloud of smoke, a stern look plastered over his face. Even after such a devastating blow, the Batter was virtually unscathed by any stretch of the word. His batting uniform was miraculously unsigned, and his ghastly black ball cap still sat eerily upon his head. “If you still wish for death’s icy embrace, now would be a wonderful time to accept.” The Batter spoke, all remorse vanishing from his voice in that single instant. Japhet calmly ruffled her feathers in an expectant manner, not at all surprised at the Batter resilience.

“Ah, you are certainly full of surprises, Batter… And here I thought you’d be singed to a fine crisp. In another life… or maybe, in another reality… we could’ve been… good friends…” Japhet preached softly, somewhat relieved to know that her furious adversary might still be able to finish her off. All Japhet dreamed of now was death’s oh so sweet release. The sickening corpse of Valerie still clung lifelessly to the back of her neck, shaking moderately in the soft wind. Streams of blood trickled down from the putrid corpse, sending forth bright trails of crimson liquid down Japhet’s slender neck. Unfolding her massive wings once more, she gathered her thoughts as quickly as possible. “I would have been overjoyed to be your… friend. Yes… your friend…” Japhet meekly inquired, attempting in vain to hold back tears. All of her cruel wrong doings finally seemed to be weighing down on her conscience as she felt the warm streams of blood traveling down her tensed body. In a sudden moment of clarity that temporarily pushed aside the dreadful madness that plagued her mind, Japhet remembered what it was like to be a Holy Guardian once more. The happiness, the admiration, and the joy. The smiles of her closest friends, the tangled feelings of love she felt in her heart, and the one person who never left her side even in the darkest of times. The one girl she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Japhet knew there was no going back now, however. Her sins were unforgivable, and had driven even her closest friends and loved ones out of her life for good. She had pushed all of them away, except for the girl. The girl who she knew deep down would never look at her the same way if she was to learn of Japhet’s wrong doings. All Japhet wanted now was for it all to come to a close, an end to the pain. Glistening tears began to flow from her glimmering white eyes, staining the feathers lining her gentle face. The Batter starred up at mighty phoenix, who was seemingly falling apart mentally before his very eyes. He knew naught what to expect; Japhet was now on the verge of mental collapse. He understood her pain however, somehow he knew what it felt like to be in her position. The loss of everything she loved, the loss of everyone she loved. All that remained within her was the maddening power she possessed, and the only thing left to do with it. To destroy everything.

“Maybe we could’ve been friends in some other reality. You wish so desperately for me to destroy you, yet you have been the only Holy Guardian thus far to even consider for a brief moment the consequences of your actions. My previous offer still stands. We can compromise. Let us put an end to the fighting, Sovereign Phoenix.” The Batter proclaimed calmly, hoping to get through to the troubled Guardian. A long, agonizing silence ensued as the phoenix pondered the Batter’s words ever so carefully.

“You want… to be my friend…? Even after my countless attempts to take a stab at your life…? I have no one left to love… I’ve driven everyone away… I deserve this fate… Batter, forgive me… but I must respectfully decline your proposal of friendship… I must die tonight.” 

[dipulb3]

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it airborne

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-ram-1500-trx-first-drive-review-yep-we-got-it-airborne/

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it airborne

“Now as you come around to the ramps, you’ll want to be doing about 55, 60 miles per hour,” my co-driver shouts over the roar of the engine while rocks and dirt blast the pickup’s undercarriage. “That’ll get you the best height and distance for the jumps and set you up to start braking for the next turn.”

Yes, jumps. I’m behind the wheel of the 702-horsepower 2021 Ram 1500 TRX, one of the most extreme and overbuilt performance trucks Ram has ever produced. And as the wheels leave the ground and the cacophony is replaced with an eerie silence, I’m starting to understand just how insane this apex predator really is.

Heart of a Hellcat

Ram’s engineers followed a familiar formula: Take a popular Fiat-Chrysler product and dump the 6.2-liter supercharged Hemi V8 from the Dodge Challenger and Charger SRT Hellcats into the engine bay. Pat yourself on the back; you’ve earned a beer.

Of course, there’s so much more to it than that. In the Ram TRX, that engine breathes through a new dual-path induction system that mixes air drawn through its functional hood scoop and with intake from the grille at the underside of a massive 29-liter airbox. Ram tells me that this design helps to tumble the air inside the box, shaking out sand and water before it passes through twin 8×12-inch air filters. With a total of 198.4 square inches of filter surface area, Ram claims this is the “largest air filter in the segment.” The TRX also features a unique, high-flow exhaust with 5-inch resonators and exhaust tips.

The changes to the Hemi’s breathing mean the TRX makes just 702 horsepower (as opposed to the Hellcats’ 717-plus) with 650 pound-feet of torque, which it sends though an eight-speed automatic transmission to a four-wheel-drive system. That’s more than enough power to launch the 6,350-pound TRX from 0 to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds and onward to 100 mph in 10.5 seconds. The truck will even run the quarter-mile in just 12.9 ticks. The TRX launches quickly and powerfully, immediately finding traction, even on a dirt runway.

This wide boi is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Suspension upgrades

In many ways, the suspension and chassis upgrades to the Ram 1500 TRX are even more impressive than the powertrain because they’re so much more extensive. The TRX’s frame is based on that of a Ram 1500 Crew Cab, but is modified with over 70% new parts to improve strength and rigidity, and to completely change the truck’s suspension geometry. The pickup’s flared body is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500, accommodating a 6-inch increase in both the front and rear tracks.

The TRX sits 2 inches taller than the standard 1500, boosting its ground clearance to 11.8 inches and its water fording depth to 32 inches. The front wheels are moved forward by 0.6 inch, increasing the wheelbase slightly and freeing up room for beefier suspension components and 35-inch Goodyear Wrangler Territory all-terrain tires, mounted on 18×9-inch wheels (or optional beadlock-capable wheels of similar spec that allow ultra-low tire pressure for crawling).

The TRX’s suspension and chassis upgrades are perhaps more exciting than the 700-horsepower engine.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You’ll find an independent suspension up front and a solid rear axle with coil springs and forged aluminum components all around. At all four corners, you’ll also find 2.5-inch Bilstein Black Hawk E2 adaptive dampers with remote reservoirs controlling the movement of the suspension. Up front, the TRX has 13 inches of wheel travel, with 14 inches of travel at the rear axle. (You can check our spec comparison to read — and watch — how the Ram 1500 TRX stacks up against the Ford F-150 Raptor.)

On the road

On paved roads, the TRX feels confident with, of course, great acceleration off the line and surprisingly smooth shifts from its eight-speed automatic transmission. The rumble of the V8 exhaust is ever present, but never annoying. The ride is still body-on-frame truck-like, but it’s no more floaty than the standard 1500, which already has pretty controlled ride.

The TRX features a total of eight drive modes, plus a valet setting. Highway miles are best spent toggling between the default and nicely balanced Auto setting and Sport, which sharpens the steering, suspension, transmission and stability control. Ultimately, I found it best to create a Custom setting that blends the two. There are also modes for Snow, Mud/Sand, Towing, Rocks and Baja.

From the 12-inch touch display, drivers can customize their TRX’s performance for a wide range of conditions.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You interact with the drive modes using a combination of physical controls and the standard 12-inch Uconnect 4C infotainment system. Ram says that this is the first implementation of its Performance Pages software with the big 12-incher, which also features menus for monitoring off-road metrics like wheel articulation, steering angle and axle locker status. 

Of course, the infotainment software still boasts all of the tech features that I like in the standard 1500, including SiriusXM 360L integration, standard Android Auto and Apple CarPlay connectivity, Uconnect Apps and more. You’ll also find a ton of physical charging options for phones and tech, including a total of five USB-A ports and five USB-C ports split between the front and rear rows, as well as a wireless charging pad at the base of the dashboard.

The pickup can also be had with a modern suite of driver-assistance technologies, including blind-spot monitoring, adaptive cruise control, forward pre-collision warning with brake assist and lane-departure warning with lane-keeping assist. Keep checking boxes to add a full-color head-up display and a rear camera mirror.

Drive modes and 4WD settings can be quickly toggled with these controls. Notice that there are no 2WD modes.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Off-road performance

Playing around at Wild West Motorsports Park in Sparks, Nevada, I’m able to first test the Ram TRX’s crawling ability over a fairly steep rock hill climb overlooking the race course. Setting the drive mode to Rock, the transfer case to its 2.64:1 4WD Low range and locking the Dana 60 rear axle sets the truck up for high-torque, slow-speed climbing. With the aid of Ram’s spotters and the TRX’s generous approach (30.2), departure (23.5) and breakover (21.9) angles, the TRX makes short and relatively easy work of the climb.

While waiting for my turn on the track, I’m able to explore the rocky grounds surrounding the course, testing the Selec-Speed Control — a sort of off-road cruise control inherited from the Jeep Wrangler — on another low-speed climb up a loose grade. The TRX’s dampers do a fantastic job of soaking up some huge bumps at speed, jostling me around in the deeply bolstered driver’s seat quite a bit, but still feeling nigh unstoppable over a two-track trail. 

In the air

Setting the TRX’s drive mode to Baja lets the 4WD, gearbox, steering, and stability control systems know that it’s time for business. Meanwhile, Baja sets the suspension for maximum travel and control needed for high-speed dirt driving. 

I enter the course at the top of a huge hill. Then it’s a stomach-churning drop down to the front straight and immediately over a small hop. Then it’s into the whoops, a washboard series of bumps that test the Bilstein suspension and Ram’s Active Terrain Dynamics software, which can react every 20 milliseconds to keep the truck balanced and controlled.

I was encouraged to really test the limits of the TRX’s advanced suspension.

Ram Trucks

After a sweeping left-hander (that I was encouraged to drift), it’s time for the big jump. Lining up for another downhill approach, I point the pickup at the dirt ramp and mat the accelerator, reaching the recommended 55-mph speed before taking to the air.

The TRX absolutely flies, and lands with such grace that I wonder if Ram should have instead called this tyrannosaurus a pteranodon. Looking back at my photos, I estimate the big jump was a little over 60 feet (about three and a half truck lengths) from takeoff to landing, reaching a height of about 24 inches. All 13 inches of suspension travel are used when landing, the dampers allowing for full compression while progressively firming near the end of travel with up to one ton of damping force at each corner to prevent bottoming out.

Wheels back on the ground, I let out a whoop of my own before getting hard on the 15-inch, four-wheel disc brakes for a sharp left-hander. Kicking up a big rooster tail, I snake my way back up the hill to do it all again… five more times.

Ram’s Truckasaurus is not a practical choice, but it’s definitely a ton of fun.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Availability and pricing

Starting at $71,690 (including a $1,695 destination charge), the Ram 1500 TRX is significantly more expensive than the $58,135 Ford F-150 Raptor SuperCrew’s. Fully loaded, you’re looking at around $95K for the TR2 trim level with all the optional fixings. Plus, the T. rex’s 10 miles per gallon city and 14 mpg highway ratings are worse than the Raptor’s 15 city and 18 highway estimates, meaning you’ll also pay more at the pump.

That said, the TRX is a bigger, more powerful predator than the Raptor with just over 250 more ponies at its beck and call. It’s also got a more advanced suspension, particularly at the rear axle where the Raptor’s still rocking leaf springs. (Rumor has it that Ford could strike back with V8 power and a coil spring setup of its own for the next-generation Raptor.)

The 2021 Ram 1500 TRX is not a practical truck, but it is quite possibly the most fun and most insane pickup you can buy today.

[dipulb3]

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it airborne

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-ram-1500-trx-first-drive-review-yep-we-got-it-airborne-2/

2021 Ram 1500 TRX first drive review: Yep, we got it airborne

“Now as you come around to the ramps, you’ll want to be doing about 55, 60 miles per hour,” my co-driver shouts over the roar of the engine while rocks and dirt blast the pickup’s undercarriage. “That’ll get you the best height and distance for the jumps and set you up to start braking for the next turn.”

Yes, jumps. I’m behind the wheel of the 702-horsepower 2021 Ram 1500 TRX, one of the most extreme and overbuilt performance trucks Ram has ever produced. And as the wheels leave the ground and the cacophony is replaced with an eerie silence, I’m starting to understand just how insane this apex predator really is.

Heart of a Hellcat

Ram’s engineers followed a familiar formula: Take a popular Fiat-Chrysler product and dump the 6.2-liter supercharged Hemi V8 from the Dodge Challenger and Charger SRT Hellcats into the engine bay. Pat yourself on the back; you’ve earned a beer.

Of course, there’s so much more to it than that. In the Ram TRX, that engine breathes through a new dual-path induction system that mixes air drawn through its functional hood scoop and with intake from the grille at the underside of a massive 29-liter airbox. Ram tells me that this design helps to tumble the air inside the box, shaking out sand and water before it passes through twin 8×12-inch air filters. With a total of 198.4 square inches of filter surface area, Ram claims this is the “largest air filter in the segment.” The TRX also features a unique, high-flow exhaust with 5-inch resonators and exhaust tips.

The changes to the Hemi’s breathing mean the TRX makes just 702 horsepower (as opposed to the Hellcats’ 717-plus) with 650 pound-feet of torque, which it sends though an eight-speed automatic transmission to a four-wheel-drive system. That’s more than enough power to launch the 6,350-pound TRX from 0 to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds and onward to 100 mph in 10.5 seconds. The truck will even run the quarter-mile in just 12.9 ticks. The TRX launches quickly and powerfully, immediately finding traction, even on a dirt runway.

This wide boi is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Suspension upgrades

In many ways, the suspension and chassis upgrades to the Ram 1500 TRX are even more impressive than the powertrain because they’re so much more extensive. The TRX’s frame is based on that of a Ram 1500 Crew Cab, but is modified with over 70% new parts to improve strength and rigidity, and to completely change the truck’s suspension geometry. The pickup’s flared body is 8 inches wider than a standard Ram 1500, accommodating a 6-inch increase in both the front and rear tracks.

The TRX sits 2 inches taller than the standard 1500, boosting its ground clearance to 11.8 inches and its water fording depth to 32 inches. The front wheels are moved forward by 0.6 inch, increasing the wheelbase slightly and freeing up room for beefier suspension components and 35-inch Goodyear Wrangler Territory all-terrain tires, mounted on 18×9-inch wheels (or optional beadlock-capable wheels of similar spec that allow ultra-low tire pressure for crawling).

The TRX’s suspension and chassis upgrades are perhaps more exciting than the 700-horsepower engine.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You’ll find an independent suspension up front and a solid rear axle with coil springs and forged aluminum components all around. At all four corners, you’ll also find 2.5-inch Bilstein Black Hawk E2 adaptive dampers with remote reservoirs controlling the movement of the suspension. Up front, the TRX has 13 inches of wheel travel, with 14 inches of travel at the rear axle. (You can check our spec comparison to read — and watch — how the Ram 1500 TRX stacks up against the Ford F-150 Raptor.)

On the road

On paved roads, the TRX feels confident with, of course, great acceleration off the line and surprisingly smooth shifts from its eight-speed automatic transmission. The rumble of the V8 exhaust is ever present, but never annoying. The ride is still body-on-frame truck-like, but it’s no more floaty than the standard 1500, which already has pretty controlled ride.

The TRX features a total of eight drive modes, plus a valet setting. Highway miles are best spent toggling between the default and nicely balanced Auto setting and Sport, which sharpens the steering, suspension, transmission and stability control. Ultimately, I found it best to create a Custom setting that blends the two. There are also modes for Snow, Mud/Sand, Towing, Rocks and Baja.

From the 12-inch touch display, drivers can customize their TRX’s performance for a wide range of conditions.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

You interact with the drive modes using a combination of physical controls and the standard 12-inch Uconnect 4C infotainment system. Ram says that this is the first implementation of its Performance Pages software with the big 12-incher, which also features menus for monitoring off-road metrics like wheel articulation, steering angle and axle locker status. 

Of course, the infotainment software still boasts all of the tech features that I like in the standard 1500, including SiriusXM 360L integration, standard Android Auto and Apple CarPlay connectivity, Uconnect Apps and more. You’ll also find a ton of physical charging options for phones and tech, including a total of five USB-A ports and five USB-C ports split between the front and rear rows, as well as a wireless charging pad at the base of the dashboard.

The pickup can also be had with a modern suite of driver-assistance technologies, including blind-spot monitoring, adaptive cruise control, forward pre-collision warning with brake assist and lane-departure warning with lane-keeping assist. Keep checking boxes to add a full-color head-up display and a rear camera mirror.

Drive modes and 4WD settings can be quickly toggled with these controls. Notice that there are no 2WD modes.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Off-road performance

Playing around at Wild West Motorsports Park in Sparks, Nevada, I’m able to first test the Ram TRX’s crawling ability over a fairly steep rock hill climb overlooking the race course. Setting the drive mode to Rock, the transfer case to its 2.64:1 4WD Low range and locking the Dana 60 rear axle sets the truck up for high-torque, slow-speed climbing. With the aid of Ram’s spotters and the TRX’s generous approach (30.2), departure (23.5) and breakover (21.9) angles, the TRX makes short and relatively easy work of the climb.

While waiting for my turn on the track, I’m able to explore the rocky grounds surrounding the course, testing the Selec-Speed Control — a sort of off-road cruise control inherited from the Jeep Wrangler — on another low-speed climb up a loose grade. The TRX’s dampers do a fantastic job of soaking up some huge bumps at speed, jostling me around in the deeply bolstered driver’s seat quite a bit, but still feeling nigh unstoppable over a two-track trail. 

In the air

Setting the TRX’s drive mode to Baja lets the 4WD, gearbox, steering, and stability control systems know that it’s time for business. Meanwhile, Baja sets the suspension for maximum travel and control needed for high-speed dirt driving. 

I enter the course at the top of a huge hill. Then it’s a stomach-churning drop down to the front straight and immediately over a small hop. Then it’s into the whoops, a washboard series of bumps that test the Bilstein suspension and Ram’s Active Terrain Dynamics software, which can react every 20 milliseconds to keep the truck balanced and controlled.

I was encouraged to really test the limits of the TRX’s advanced suspension.

Ram Trucks

After a sweeping left-hander (that I was encouraged to drift), it’s time for the big jump. Lining up for another downhill approach, I point the pickup at the dirt ramp and mat the accelerator, reaching the recommended 55-mph speed before taking to the air.

The TRX absolutely flies, and lands with such grace that I wonder if Ram should have instead called this tyrannosaurus a pteranodon. Looking back at my photos, I estimate the big jump was a little over 60 feet (about three and a half truck lengths) from takeoff to landing, reaching a height of about 24 inches. All 13 inches of suspension travel are used when landing, the dampers allowing for full compression while progressively firming near the end of travel with up to one ton of damping force at each corner to prevent bottoming out.

Wheels back on the ground, I let out a whoop of my own before getting hard on the 15-inch, four-wheel disc brakes for a sharp left-hander. Kicking up a big rooster tail, I snake my way back up the hill to do it all again… five more times.

Ram’s Truckasaurus is not a practical choice, but it’s definitely a ton of fun.

Antuan Goodwin/Roadshow

Availability and pricing

Starting at $71,690 (including a $1,695 destination charge), the Ram 1500 TRX is significantly more expensive than the $58,135 Ford F-150 Raptor SuperCrew’s. Fully loaded, you’re looking at around $95K for the TR2 trim level with all the optional fixings. Plus, the T. rex’s 10 miles per gallon city and 14 mpg highway ratings are worse than the Raptor’s 15 city and 18 highway estimates, meaning you’ll also pay more at the pump.

That said, the TRX is a bigger, more powerful predator than the Raptor with just over 250 more ponies at its beck and call. It’s also got a more advanced suspension, particularly at the rear axle where the Raptor’s still rocking leaf springs. (Rumor has it that Ford could strike back with V8 power and a coil spring setup of its own for the next-generation Raptor.)

The 2021 Ram 1500 TRX is not a practical truck, but it is quite possibly the most fun and most insane pickup you can buy today.