#thedickandjanenetwork

[hurrems]

can you write a hot makeout scene when gansey first kiss after the whole gansey dying situation

warning: second base making out. they don’t do anything but they’re teenagers and they’re kinda horny so letting you know just in case anyone is uncomfortable with that.

As Blue takes her place in the passenger seat of the Pig, she thinks about the fact that she and Gansey are going to have their second kiss tonight and feels her stomach jump with nerves and anticipation. She’s jittery but it’s happening. She has decided so earlier. That’s why she called him to whisk her away to a place where only the two of them existed. They have waited long enough. Earlier, she talked to her mother about it and received the green light from her and the other psychics: now that her curse has fulfilled itself, there was no danger to her lips anymore and she could kiss Gansey to her heart’s desire. Blue took the news with relief but no surprise - she had an inkling they broke the curse, though it was better to be safe than sorry - and could only contain herself for an hour or so before giving in and calling Gansey up for a ride.

That’s as far as she thought ahead, and now, sitting next to Gansey, quietly admiring both him and the dimly lit trees they pass by, she wonders how to go about this. One option is to simply turn to him and kiss him and never stop. That sounds very tempting and very forward. Another is to tell him what her family told her which seems sensible but Blue could see how it could quickly turn awkward. He would be forced to kiss her whether that’s what he wanted or not - and that sounds wrong. Procedural. Blue cringes.  

Perhaps she’s thinking too hard about this. Overthinking has never been her forte, it’s Gansey’s, and yet. She’s dreamed about this for too long for it not to be perfect. Perfect is a naive fantasy, of course, but she needs to make up for that disastrous first kiss which shouldn’t even count as a first kiss. Blue can barely recall what it felt like to hold him then - perhaps she just doesn’t want to, perhaps it’s better not to remember. She knows he tasted like fear in her mouth, and that makes her cautious to think about anything else that happened that day.

This kiss will be their do over and they can pretend the first didn’t happen. She needs it to go well.

Gansey glances over at her. “Is everything okay?”

“Hmm? Yes.”

“You’re frowning.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

Blue sighs and reaches for his hand on the gear shift. She lets their fingers lace together, covering their hands with her free one, and says, “Sorry, my mind won’t shut down.”

Gansey gives her a playful smile. “I know the feeling. What are you thinking about?”

Blue hesitates, her eyes locked on their hands, before admitting, “Us.”

“Hmm.” His tone slightly changes - it would be imperceptible if she didn’t know him as well as she did. It’s still soft and calm but with an edge of curiosity and wariness. Nevertheless, he remains lighthearted when he says, “So there is an us.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“You told me once that there is no us, remember? Maybe not with those words but that was the point.“ He squints, perhaps trying to recall her exact words (Blue remembers, “It was never on”) but all he ends up saying is, “It wasn’t that long ago, actually.”

“I remember. Still, don’t be stupid.”

“Alright. I’ll bite. Is this good or bad kind of thinking?”

“Good, I suppose. No, it’s good, I’m just overanalyzing it.”

Gansey hums but says nothing for a long time and Blue thinks he dropped the subject. Moonlight embraces him in a soft glow, glinting off every sharp angle of his face. Blue’s eyes latch onto his jawline and she imagines herself reaching out to caress it. Gansey’s breath would hitch and she would smile smugly, a bit like a seductress who’s caught her prey and intends to play with it. She would then lean closer and press her lips to the spot where his neck meets his shoulder while her hand slides down his chest and curls into his shirt, tugging it up.   

Of course she can’t do any of that because Gansey might drive them off the road if she tried but it’s nice to imagine. He keeps his eyes on the road, unaware of the direction her thoughts have taken, so she’s safe to ogle him uninterrupted.

Gansey turns right to a dirt road leading to a grassy field and parks the Camaro. He turns to her.

“What is it?”

It takes a moment for Blue to realize that he’s picking up their conversation from earlier and then she sighs and looks away. She lets go of his hand to fiddle with her own, and watches, while she tries to come up with the appropriate words.

Then she looks back at him, and without warning or thought, she climbs across her seat into his lap and leans her forehead against his. Gansey silently stares at her, caught off-guard and in awe. Their lips are only inches away and it finally inspires the right words from her. 

“I want to kiss you,” she whispers. “And I want it to be perfect.”

Gansey swallows, his throat moving, and Blue is fascinated. “No pressure.”

She laughs quietly. “My mom told me it’s okay now. For us to kiss.”

“Mmmhm, so we gotta make this one good, right?”

“Right. Exactly what I was thinking.”

“Well then.” He inhales and straightens himself like he’s gathering his confidence. “May I beg one off you, Jane?”

Her smile is so big it hurts, and even though they’re sitting in the Pig, she counters, “Under all this?”

He smiles back at her and touches his hand to the dimple in her cheek. “You remember.”

“I remember all of it. But if you say we’ll never talk about it again, I’ll -” 

She’s cut off by his amused laugh and shake of his head and she laughs with him until she grows impatient and unexpectedly presses her lips against his.

It’s simple and sweet and over too quickly. She’s testing the waters, gathering his reaction. But he looks fine when she pulls back, healthy and alive, and the smile never leaves his lips or his eyes, so she’s reassured enough to lean in for another. This time she lingers longer, committing the taste and feel of him into memory. His lips are soft and tentative but willing to learn. They are both trying to figure each other out. Gansey winds his arms around her hips and slides one of his hands up her back until he reaches her neck, stirring the soft baby hairs there. Blue shivers in his arms.

The fact that she’s kissing Gansey - she’s kissing Gansey! - finally hits her and she sighs happily into his mouth. This is what a real kiss should feel like. Not tinged with fear or grief or desperation. This is what she always wanted it to feel like, what she’s been yearning for - and it was worth every agonizing second of wait.

She breaks away with a little giggle, their foreheads still touching. Her chest feels lighter than it has in months. She breathes in air that feels like happiness and revels in it. Her bones are all screaming, I’m alive I’m alive I’m alive.

“Wow.”

Gansey laughs with her, touching her hair senselessly, pushing it behind her ear only to pull it out immediately. Their gazes lock and something immediately changes in the air between them from light and innocent to thick with tension. She can practically see the gears in Gansey’s brain turning as it provides him with all the possibilities they could now do. His eyes darken as they zoom in on her mouth. Blue’s heart pounds fast with everything she wants to do to him.

They lean in at the same time, both sure of what they want. More passion, more tongue, more exploring hands. Blue pulls herself closer to him, acutely conscious of the fact that she’s straddling his lap, legs on each side of his hips. She can tell that Gansey is very aware of it too. His tongue slips into her mouth and Blue welcomes it with her own, holding back a moan. She burns hot in his arms. She imagined kissing a thousand times before but none of her fantasies could ever compare to the reality of it, and how intense and consuming it would feel.

Blue runs her hands down his chest, feeling his muscles through his shirt, but quickly deciding that it’s not enough. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thinks that she’d like to take his shirt off him. She’d like to kiss his bare chest. She’d like to make him squirm and tremble. She’d like to kiss his neck too but she doesn’t want to break away from his lips.

She settles for slipping her hand under his shirt and exploring the bare skin under her palm. The reaction from Gansey is immediate: he jerks at the contact and releases a muffled noise against her mouth that feels, rather than sounds, like a gasp. Blue is pleased to have gotten the first vocal reaction from him.

She moves her hand up, slightly digging her nails in until Gansey breaks away, inhaling sharply. Blue hides her smug smile; she feels powerful, dangerous, and unpredictable. A goddess. The queen to his king. 

“Gansey,” she scolds him, a laugh hiding somewhere in her voice. He looks dizzy and disoriented, panting heavily. She draws his face back to hers with a gentle touch, kissing him again, and taking all of the control for herself. It quickly becomes obvious that she likes to lead and he lets her.

Her hand still under his shirt, Blue finds his nipple, circling her thumb over it. Gansey’s harsh breathing reverberates in her ear. With her free hand, she captures one of his and places it on her leg, just below where her handmade dress ends. Where skin meets skin. He takes the hint and begins to tease her skin, drawing strange patterns and indistinguishable markings on her leg while she plays with his nipple and melts further into the bliss that is Gansey’s mouth. And they never stop kissing.

“This was worth dying for,” he says a while later. She’s not really sure how long they kissed and how long they have been sitting like this in the driver’s seat, with her head against his chest and his arms around her waist, but she feels like she could do it for a few hours more. 

Blue sighs and says nothing. This conversation is not a road she wants to go down yet.

Gansey is content with her silence. He plays with a strand of her hair, twisting it around his finger, back and forth, back and forth. He kisses the top of her head and she can feel the smile in his voice when he speaks.

“God, I’ll never get tired of this. Kissing you. I can kiss you now, Jane. Jane, can you believe it? I can actually kiss you!”

Blue laughs quietly. He said that in the same childlike wonder he tends to use when talking about Glendower.

Amused but touched at his awe, she says, “I know.”

Gansey sighs wistfully. “I’ll never stop kissing you. I’ll be kissing you so much you’ll grow sick of it.”

“You can try.” She turns and presses her lips to his cheek, sitting up in his lap. “Let’s go ho home. To Monmouth, I mean.”

“Are you sure? Your mom -”

“Won’t care,” Blue shrugs. “As long as we’re being careful. Her words, not mine, don’t misunderstand me.”

She shakes her head, thinking back to the awkward but thankfully brief sex talk she got from her mom right after receiving the good news that she could kiss Gansey. Luckily, Maura has never been a strict parent and Blue has always been known for her sensibleness so it wasn’t much of a problem. 

Gansey chuckles, nodding. “To Monmouth, it is.”

Blue stumbles in laughing at something Gansey said that wasn’t even that funny but she feels happy and high on life so she laughs. And he laughs too because he always seems to laugh with her when she does.

Monmouth is pleasantly empty. Blue throws her jacket on a chair and turns to Gansey, still smiling. She holds out her hands towards him and starts pulling him closer when he takes them. Her grin grows bigger, silly and wide and free.

“Here we are,” she singsongs. 

“Here we are,” he agrees. The fondness in his voice is unmistakable.

She’s wanted to kiss him again since the moment she moved back to the passenger seat so he could drive them home. She even stole some neck kisses here and there until Gansey warned her to stop (“Blue”) in a pained voice. She retreated, afraid that he really might drive them off the road if she continued but kept the knowledge that she could effortlessly make him so unstable close to her heart.

Now she steps forward, swinging their joined hands between them. Her movements are wobbly and uncharacteristically playful like she’s drunk - and maybe she is, drunk on Gansey and his lips. She leans in teasingly close to his mouth and flits away as soon as he tries to kiss her. She laughs delightedly at his temporary confusion but he quickly recovers, a devilish grin lighting up his face before he yanks her back to him. 

“You’re a mean one, Blue Sargent,” he states, so close he’s practically whispering the words against her lips.

She cocks her head at him, eyebrows raised in an unspoken challenge (‘What are you gonna do about it?’) and Gansey, in response, kisses her slowly. At first. 

Then he picks up the pace, kissing her deeper, hungrier, rougher. He leans down towards her but Blue, in this standing position, strains to keep up with the vehemency of the kiss while standing on her tiptoes. (She never imagined she would stand on her tiptoes for anyone but here she is and she doesn’t even mind.) Gansey, noticing her struggle, lifts her in his arms, and the next moment Blue finds herself squashed between him and the wall. 

His warm body presses up against her in all the right places and she gasps into his mouth. She didn’t expect Gansey to get so bold with her but she would be lying if she said she didn’t like it. Her legs are pleasantly wrapped around his hips, and she really likes that too. The heat, the pressure, the near dizziness. She can’t help arching back against him. It seems it is his turn to make her putty in his hands. 

And he’s good at it, really. Already very talented at this kissing thing. So much so that she has to hold back a whine when he breaks away from her mouth, not liking the absence of warmth and softness. He licks her lower lip then moves his mouth down, finding her throat, sucking on it the same way she did with him in the car. His teeth sinks into her neck and tugs at her skin, playful and experimenting. He runs his tongue over the bite, earning a quiet whimper from Blue. If she was on fire before, the fire has now turned into an inferno. 

Her body is sensitive to every small touch. She’s made aware of everything about him; his lips on her neck, his hands on her sides and legs, his warm breath against her skin, his hair tickling her shoulder. It’s too much and not enough. He’s doing things to her body that makes it very hard to keep still. She fidgets, pushing back against him, tugging on his hair and crumpling up his shirt until Gansey takes hold of her hands and puts them above her head.

She doesn’t even try to fight it. He kisses down her neck, between her breasts, and she automatically pushes her chest out to let him do whatever he wants. Her eyes flutter closed, her breathing accelerating and growing louder. Gansey ghosts his mouth over her nipple through her dress, one of his hands traveling down to cup her other one. His other hand keeps her wrists pinned above her head in a hold that she could escape from but doesn’t want to. It’s really really hot, she has to admit. She likes this side of Gansey.

She likes it even more when Gansey kisses her breast through the fabric then playfully bites down on her nipple and sucks it into his mouth. Blue trembles helplessly, murmuring his name. His mouth moves up again, towards her mouth but stopping to tease her collarbone, her neck, her jaw. He runs his hand up her thigh and hikes her dress up, not outrageously so but higher than she would normally wear it. She loves every moment of it. 

When his lips press against hers again, it’s softer and lighter than before, and a bit unsteady. His mouth barely touches her but she melts into it, welcoming the tenderness of the moment. 

“We should…” He clears his throat, his voice raspy. He lets go of her hand, their fire sizzling out. That doesn’t stop her from wanting more of his sweet and airy kisses though. “We should sleep.”

“We should,” she agrees huskily and kisses him again.

They do sleep, later. When they find it in themselves to move away from that wall and each other’s lips. She keeps close to him though, wrapping herself up in his arms and holding on tightly. She is never letting go.

[arabhamlet]

tagged by @celaystial to post selfies. im tagging anybody who wants to do this but especially @rietvld you ain't escaping

[chickencorbinblue]

this was a look from yesterday can u tell I haven't slept in weeks

[achxilles]

because I finally have like less than a minute to spare-

wow. I haven’t been on here in so long that my queue ran out. I’m not so sure how I can properly get updated now that tracking tags no longer works but I honestly doubt I’d even have the time to do so sighs

I actually want to apologize for not being online and also for not saying anything earlier. I guess I didn’t realize how busy I would be

Nonetheless, I am not giving up on this blog!!! I’ll try to add more things to my queue and to find time here and there to go on here, especially to catch up with people because I really miss you guys!!!!!

I really want to thank those of you who haven’t given up on me HAHA It really means so so so much! I hope I’ll be able to properly reciprocate it huhu

[thedickandjanenetwork]

Hi! To clear some confusion, here we go again.

What we need from you if accepted:

kik. if you don't have kik you could either make one or if you don't want to, that's okay, (although you're going to be missing out on our fun group chat) just let us know that you don't have/want one

an icon (you can sumbit this to the network)

we forgot to mention this in the last post but a name is also nice so we can add it to the members page along with your url and icon

an email address so we can invite you to the blog. this, your name and your kik you can send in an ask.

If we don’t reply to your ask (even if it’s just to say that we’ve received your info) it’s more than likely that we didn’t get it. Tumblr is whimsical, as we all know, so try asking again!

That's it guys, and remember the deadline is July 24 (by which you should've sent us at least an icon/kik/something)

[hurrems]

bluesey + favorite quotes

[arabhamlet]

1k song moodboards!

ok so i’ve been figuring out what to do for 1k for a while but here it is! first of all, thanks to all my followers for reblogging my posts and basically making me feel validated, you guys are the best and ily all :)

anyway

must be following this sentimental loser

reblog this post

send me a message with one (or more, if you want) song that you want me to make a moodboard of

please be patient if i take a while to get to yours, these take time haha

and once again, thank you all for following me! 

[chickencorbinblue]

I CUT MY HAIR and now look even younger but FRICK I look cute

[chickencorbinblue]

here is a picture from yesterday when it was sunny and I was wearing this rlly nice sweater

[hurrems]

the signs as bluesey moments

aries: "I am not a prostitute."

taurus: "What was Poland like?" "Prettier than you’re thinking. So pretty."

gemini: "I’ve learned a lot. I’m glad you misdialed." "Well. Easy mistake to make. Might do it again."

cancer: "Is that all?" "That's all there is."

leo: It had a grounding effect - the shocking slime of the blueberries, the sugar hitting his stomach, empty from school, the knowledge that her mouth had been the last thing to touch the spoon.

virgo: Richard C. Gansey III has a nice mouth. Now I know he has nice eyes when he laughs, too. This still isn’t love.

libra: "I wish you could be kissed, Jane. Because I would beg just one off you. Under all this. And then we’d never say anything about it again."

scorpio: Okay. I’m ready - Gansey’s voice caught, just a little. Blue, kiss me.

sagittarius: "I just want to pretend. I want to pretend that I could."

capricorn: Just the sound of her voice, the Henrietta lull to it, made him feel uneven and shattered.

aquarius: "You’re still not Congress, I see."

pisces: His heart hummed. Blue touched his fingertips. Just this - He pinched her fingers lightly, just for a moment, and then he withdrew his hand and put it back on the wheel. His chest felt warm. This was not allowed.

[hurrems]

Bluesey: "I'm not even sorry" and tbh me neither

i’m not even sorry either

“Would you like to go somewhere less crowded?”

Blue raises her eyebrows impassively. “Is this the part where you hold up a key to a hotel room you’ve booked just for this occasion?”

Gansey pulls away to look at her. Blue instantly misses the heat of his suit, his heartbeat against her ear, the way his hand fit perfectly against the small of her back as she rested her head against his chest, swaying to the music. So slowly they were barely moving at all. Now his hands are on her arms and he’s looking at her with an honest expression.

“No, no, that is not what I, - that came out wrong. Blue, I would never dream of being so insolent. You would smack me across the head, I’m sure.”

Blue smiles but says nothing. She was merely joking but Gansey didn’t realize that and he looks genuinely worried he’s offended her. She hopes her smile would ease him.

“I thought we could drive somewhere. Up that hill with the view under the stars. Nowhere at all.” He smiles too, a confession in the way his lips curl. “I’m selfish, I want you all to myself.”

He raises his hand to her chin and strokes her skin softly, quickly. It falls away almost immediately but her skin tingles with the memory of it.

“Would you like that?”

There’s only one answer that exists in her mind.

xxx

They are not trying to kiss. Blue promised herself to stay away from such treacherous moves as his death loomed closer and the risks got greater. She could not afford to get close to his lips anymore.

Instead, they’re watching the stars. Gansey has spread out a blanket on the grass and they’re lying on their backs, too close to each other. Her legs are drawn up, her dress falling lower on her thigh, and his hand has tentatively found her bare knee twenty minutes ago and has been resting there ever since. This is the most intimate they can get.

Two weeks. Two weeks is all he has left. They both know it. In two weeks, he would be dead. He might be dead tomorrow. It’s the only thing she’s been thinking about lately and she doesn’t want to ruin the moment but in the silence of the night, the intrusive thoughts push in. It’s all too easy to feel his closeness and remember it won’t last. Suddenly, she aches for the noise and loud music of prom where everything was near deafening and fast-paced; she didn’t have time then to agonize herself over this.

“Look, a shooting star,” Gansey says and points to where a bright yellow streak crosses the sky. Blue stares in quiet awe.

“Make a wish,” she whispers and she sees his eyes close before hers do too. “But don’t tell me what you wished for,” she reminds him as she tries to word her own. “It won’t come true.”

When Blue opens her eyes, she looks at Gansey and begins to shuffle closer to him. She can’t help thinking this is the last night they have together, the last night they’re allowed to look at the stars together. It’s a horrible feeling and full of certainty. There’s nothing psychic about it: it’s just sixth sense. Women’s intuition. She knows.

She rests her head in the crook of his neck and holds onto him tightly, pretending they can stay like this forever, pretending she can protect him from the world if she just never lets go. Gansey’s hand abandons her knee and winds around her shoulder, hugging her to him. Too close. Not close enough. Perfect.

She cries quietly against his collar.

Gansey sighs. “I should have taken you to a restaurant.”

“Shut up,” she sniffs, not regretting a thing. About tonight, about the last few months, about him and her boys.

Gansey angles his body in her direction and strokes her hair that frames her face, hiding her from view.

“This is not the end yet.”

Blue talks into his collar, her voice muffled and strained. “It could be. It might be. It could be the end for us. The last time -”

“Shh,” he says, his voice gentle in the quiet hiss of the grass and crickets. He sounds calm. Peaceful. Sad not for himself but her and his friends. The biggest injustice of the universe: he’s accepted his fate but no one else has. He’s okay with it and Blue wants to shake sense into him and also wants his last days to be happy.

“So let’s not talk about it,” he says and Blue might have been soothed by the softness of his voice if he weren’t the reason of her despair. “Let’s not ruin this.”

Blue pulls away, shakes her head to clear it, wipes away her tears.

“I’m sorry.” Before Gansey could cut in to tell her something reassuring and sweet, she goes on, “It’s just - everything comes down to this with us. Especially now.”

His tone is quiet, the opposite of her quivering voice. “Because my death is so close.”

He says it as a fact but Blue shakes her head. “Because I’m in love with you,” she breathes and doesn’t look at him, looks at the stars instead. “And I’m not even sorry.”

There’s a long pause but Blue doesn’t feel nervous. She feels calmer, somehow. She thinks about how grateful she is that she was allowed to have him in her life at all. She thinks about the friends she’s made along the way and the adventures she’ll never forget. It wasn’t all bad; she wants to believe it was worth it.

“You gave me something,” she whispers just as Gansey shifts, props himself up on his elbows. She can feel him staring at her but her eyes are still on the sky. She’s afraid to look at him: he could be watching her with pity, his eyes could swim with tears, the moon could illuminate his face in a beautiful soft glow, his skin could be gray and lifeless and already losing warmth. She doesn’t want to know.

“You gave me the best months of my life. And,” she reaches out and wraps her hand around his. It’s too warm to be dead, “you gave me true love. I’ll never forget that.”

She looks at him now as he lays his head back down on the blanket, their faces close. Soon, she could kiss him.

Gansey’s expression is torn between gratitude and fear. There’s shame too as he quietly admits, “I don’t want to be forgotten.”

Blue sucks in a sharp breath and immediately starts shaking her head, voice gasping. “Never.”

She squeezes his hand with a strength that might be painful but it makes him look at her and she holds his gaze. Her voice is clear, confident, and only trembles a little when she says, “You’ll never be forgotten.”

[chickencorbinblue]

breaking news: ya girl finally picked a college yet has not done her eyebrows in weeks

[hurrems]

Bluesey: "will you marry me?" *cough* sorry not sorry

Gansey doesn’t allow himself to think about how much he hates these parties. If he did, he couldn’t keep his face straight or remain cordial to his mother’s guests - Your guests too, Dick, her voice rings inside his head - and he couldn’t afford that. Not tonight; he heard the president is here and this is important to Mrs. Gansey. “Hate” is a very strong word, in any case.

And yet.

He keeps receiving the same innocent question from everyone, “Where are you planning to go to college?” It’s reasonable enough. What else would you ask a boy in his senior year of high school? His parents have had the same inquiry. He mentions Stanford to appease them. He mentions Harvard. He tells Helen, “Maybe I’ll travel.” He tells his parents, “I haven’t reached a decision yet. There are many factors to consider.” They tell him, “You’re running out of time, son.”

And doesn’t Gansey know that all too well? He doesn’t plan to be anywhere but six feet under by April, the latest. This entire weekend is designed to make him remember that and the knowledge stings even if he wants to pretend it doesn’t. “Hate” doesn’t seem like such a strong word anymore.

He’s not going to dwell on it, he tells himself, and reaches for another glass of champagne as a waiter passes him by with a tray. He takes a sip and uses it as an excuse to pause and gather his confidence before answering the eagerly awaiting crowd gathered around him. His answer is always the same, more or less a repeat of what he told his parents two days ago. He tells them what they want to hear - that he hasn’t picked yet only because of the many possibilities, each better than the other. That he’s taking his time because he wants to be sure of his decision. “It’s not an easy choice,” he tells them with a smile and they nod knowingly,  “Any school would be glad to have you, Richard.”

They all hang onto his every word and the deep unsettling feeling lurking inside his chest goes unnoticed. An elderly lady in pastel pink pats his arm and goes on to discuss the pros and cons of Princeton when an arm snakes around his and immediately begins to tug him away.

“Sorry to interrupt, everyone,” Blue says and Gansey’s surprised to see the charming smile she turns towards the same people she animatedly parodied only a few hours earlier. It would convince him of its sincerity if he didn’t know her. “His mother sent me to find him. She wants to introduce him to someone.”

Gansey issues a short apology and says nothing to refute her lie. It has to be a lie - he finds it difficult to believe his mother would stop to ask anything of Blue. They slip away quietly to an empty corridor and Blue lets go of his arm, turning to face him.

He lets out a deep relieved sigh and closes his eyes, leaning against the wall. He hasn’t realized how much he needed to get away from them all until now.

“You’re the best, Blue, will you marry me?”

Her only answer is an amused laugh.

He opens his eyes and conveys his gratefulness through a loving smile. “Really,” he says, more serious now, “thank you.” Thank you for helping me. Thank you for knowing I needed a break even when I didn’t.

She waves a hand. “Don’t mention it. You looked miserable.”

“Oh, I think I looked pretty convincing.”

Blue gives him a skeptical look and says, “To them, maybe. So what did they do? Did they try to convince you to join their baby-eating villainous republican cult?”

“If this cult also involved magical rituals, I might have been persuaded,” he jokes, putting his hands in his pockets. A strand of Blue’s short hair fell out of the bun Helen had made for her with great difficulties, and he itches to put it back in place just to touch her.

“Careful now. Initiations probably involve bathing in blood at midnight on a full moon.”

“That sounds more like a 300 Fox Way tradition,” he says and she gasps in mock outrage but his tone was lighthearted enough for her not to truly take offense.

Her mouth curves into a smile and she reaches out to fiddle with his tie, smoothing it gently. It’s red, like her dress and her deadly lips and all the thoughts in his head.

“Are you ready to go back?”

He raises his hand, covers hers with his own and keeps it there, right against his heart.

“Can we stay here for a bit more?”

Blue’s hand stills for a second but then curls around his with a gentle force, and she nods. “I’d like that.”

[hurrems]

It’ll be okay, Gansey told the other Blue. She could tell that he was afraid. It’ll be okay.

Impossibly, Blue realized that this other Blue was crying because she loved Gansey. And that the reason Gansey touched her like that, his fingers so careful with her, was because he knew that her kiss could kill him.

[hurrems]

we're a crooked love in a straight line down

happy valentine’s day everyone!

Blue was angry at everything, and then angry at herself for being angry.

The living room was slowly being suffocated with Valentine's Day presents from all of Orla's admirers - this included but was not limited to: bouquets of flowers, balloons, chocolate boxes, stuffed animals, and fancy red boxes with fancy red ribbons. ("I bet you Grandma's ring these are undergarments," Orla had said, then opened one of them without waiting for Blue's response - which was a mere eye roll. Grandma's sapphire ring had stayed on her finger as always.)

It was becoming hard to navigate in the overstuffed room. Orla, of course, could have very well taken her presents upstairs and kept them in her room. She didn't. Blue knew why she didn't - she wanted everyone to see, know, envy. And it was working on Blue which was the most infuriating part.

Blue should have been used to this kind of theatrics around Orla on Valentine's Day but come every year, her cousin's self-importance still managed to annoy her, and come this year, she was more than just annoyed. She was angry - angry because none of them were for her and all of them were for Orla.

Not that Blue wanted undergarments. Or those huge, over the top stuffed bears and flashy balloons. Not that Blue wanted anything.

She didn't even like Valentine's Day, for God's sake, and it was a mantra she kept repeating to herself angrily. It was a trite capitalist holiday; a ploy to rob people of their money in the name of love. Love shouldn't be celebrated out of obligation, she thought. She definitely didn't want gifts or flowers out of obligation.

But perhaps she wouldn't have minded a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolate if it truly came from the heart. What really mattered to her was the intention, the knowledge that someone did think of her today. She felt terribly contradictory.

She was sure of one thing at least, though she wasn't very happy about this truth either. She didn't want just someone to be thinking of her today. Her traitorous heart wanted one specific someone. But when she called him a few hours ago after being unable to listen to Orla's gloating anymore, he gently but not so subtly turned her down.

She didn't even know what happened. She just wanted to talk, wanted to feel the vibrations of his voice gently whispering into the phone against her ear, wanted to listen to him try and cheer her up with his useless trivia. And he granted her that, if a bit distractedly, but like every time, that desire to talk grew into the desire to see him and she hastily, quietly whispered, "Can I come over?" into the receiver. He was alone at Monmouth, she knew - Adam and Ronan celebrating on their own in their own way, and Noah spending the day out with Matthew, which was just as weird as it was right - and it was dangerous, but no more dangerous than all of those nightly conversations and the quiet peace she felt with him under the stars in an open field.

It was possible he thought it would be too intimate for them to hang out alone on Valentine's Day. They weren't dating - there's been no talk of that even after Ronan and Adam started holding hands and sucking each other's face in their spare time, and Blue thought that was okay. There were still a lot of things keeping them apart. She shouldn't be this upset that he was trying to be the sensible one between the two of them - God knows, somebody had to be, and Blue's sensibility was seriously impaired around Gansey. Yet, the way he stuttered and backtracked, the way he asked, "Now?" like he was genuinely uncomfortable with the idea, stung like a slap in the face. He made a quick excuse that he already had somewhere else to be, which was weak at best and clearly a lie at worst, then hang up.

Blue wanted to punch him and herself at the same time. Out of practical reasons, she could do neither so she settled on directing her anger towards Orla. Leaving harsh remarks and making disgusted noises here and there, but for all her efforts, Orla was undeterred from flaunting all she got. When there was another knock on the door, Blue couldn't take it anymore. If one more giant teddy bear was transported into the already overflowing living room, she would strangle Orla.

"Another one of your admirers are at the door," she told Orla in a tone that was too bitter even for herself, and stamped up the stairs.

She was only halfway up when Orla called after her, "Yoo-hoo, Blueeeeee! It's for you."

Blue, with narrowed eyes, feeling a bit suspicious, turned back. At the threshold was Gansey, wearing a bashful expression and holding a stuffed lion against his chest. In the lion's grip was a red pillow heart but Blue couldn't make out the words written on it from afar.

She bit the inside of her cheek in some semblance of an attempt at self-control - she was annoyed and glad to see him but she would not be appeased that easily.

Shooing Orla away from the door, - whose lips curved into a cheeky grin - Blue gave Gansey an unimpressed look, emphasized by her raised eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

Gansey's sheepishness grew. His voice was soft. "You didn't answer the phone."

It was true, she told her mother she didn't want to talk to him when he called ten minutes ago. It was childish but she couldn't possibly imagine what else he had to say, and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it now.

Blue sighed and crossed her arms in the universal sign of, "I'm losing my patience, you better talk quickly." But Gansey's gentle gaze didn't waver.

"Do you still want to come over?"

"I don't know, Gansey, do I? I thought you had somewhere else to be." She was angry at herself for the way she said this, the way she lost her composure and spat the words; it made it too obvious how much he offended and hurt her.

Gansey winced. "That might have been a tiny bit of evasion on my part. I don't actually have anywhere else to be." He was running his thumb along his bottom lip - a gesture of nerves that she normally found endearing. He looked sincere and Blue was inexplicably pissed about that too.

She glared at him. "So you admit to lying?"

Gansey exhaled a guilt-ridden sigh but didn't slouch beneath her scrutinizing gaze. He held himself as proud and kingly as ever. His eyes, however, were pleading with her. "Please just come over. There's something I'd like you to see. And," he held the lion up higher, shook it playfully, "this is for you."

Blue stubbornly didn't look at the lion. "Forget it. Valentine's Day is stupid anyway. I don't need you to think you're obligated to do anything just because -"

"I don't feel obligated to do anything," Gansey cut in, his expression open, sincere, his voice somehow incredulous. Like he couldn't even imagine where she got that idea from. Blue held back a snort. "I want to. If it makes you feel better," he added when Blue leveled him with a cold look, "we can pretend it's just another normal day."

Blue let out a sigh. Part of her wanted to give in, throw her principles out the window and try something new for once. Let him try to convince her that Valentine's Day wasn't so bad. There was a good chance she'd end up enjoying Gansey's company regardless of the occasion. Her wishes and desires still did not logically fit together.

Gansey waited patiently as her thoughts raced but Blue didn't have a clear answer yet. Instead, she examined the lion in his hand more closely and gave a skeptical snort.

"You make my heart roar?" she read aloud, raising her eyebrows again. When her eyes locked with his, she was momentarily taken aback by his effortless golden boy beauty. Her treacherous heart skipped a beat. His grin was easy and lighthearted but his eyes - his eyes were intense. Powerful. Saying everything and nothing at the same time.

There went her determination.

"You truly do."

xxx

On the ride there, Blue tried to give her lion a name. She could have left it at home and it would have been more practical, but it ended up coming with them and Blue didn't really mind. It was soft, cuddly, kinda cute. She liked it.

"I think I got it," Blue said and gave Gansey a cocky smile. He glanced at her sideways, a gesture for her to go on. "Spot."

"Spot?"

"Mmmmhm. You know. Dick and Jane and their dog, Spot. Except this is a lion."

Gansey laughed lightly. He didn't take his eyes off the road but Blue could see the smile dancing in them. "Oh, Jane."

Oh, Jane. He said it in a way that left her heart racing. Fond, instinctive, affectionate. Like he never wanted to be saying any other name. Never wanted to be looking at anyone else. Blue had to play it self-involved to convince herself this was okay, this love was not life-changing, life would still go on after him.

"Yes, I'm funny and creative, I know," she said and tucked her lion under her chin. She was watching him from the corner of her eye and trying not to do it. But she couldn't stop - he looked content, serene, so startlingly alive and real, and his smile lingered on his lips long after his laughter had died.

xxx

"What is that smell?" Blue asked the minute they stepped inside Monmouth. She sniffed the air then scrunched up her nose and coughed, immediately regretting it. She couldn't be sure but she imagined this is what charred flesh would smell like. She turned to Gansey in horror. "Gansey, did something die in here?"

He grimaced and moved to stand on a chair which was put directly in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of Monmouth. He closed the top half of the window that had been left open, presumably to let the smell out, but Blue wasn't sure she wouldn't trade the stench for the chilly February air outside. Even so, she shivered and pulled her coat around herself tighter.

Gansey didn't answer until he jumped off the chair and removed his gloves and scarf. He kept his coat on. He looked indistinctly angry which was decidedly strange to see in contrast with the perfectly calm and focused face that she was used to. That face, however, was a lie. Blue greedily accepted any glimpse of a real Gansey behind the facade.

"I had a minor accident in the kitchen," he told her, somewhat pitifully.

"Oh-oh," Blue said, and her lips were pulling into an amused grin.

Gansey grunted noncommittally. "Let's just say there will be no sizzling moroccan prawns or baked chocolate pudding tonight. Jamie Oliver made it seem so easy." He sighed regretfully but forced himself to brighten up after a moment. "But there will be party sandwiches and egg salad, and perhaps you'll be impressed to learn that I've made them all myself without any further accidents. I dare say they turned out quite delicious. And there's a box of chocolate for dessert," he finished with a smile.

Blue appraised him curiously, absentmindedly twiddling with the belt of her quilted coat. The smell was becoming more bearable but she still didn't dare breathe too deeply.

"Why were you trying to cook in the first place?" She thought she might know, though.

Gansey thought the same. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought that was obvious. I, -" He was blushing now, a sight to see. There was a hidden side of Gansey that she could easily bring out in him, she noticed. It was a bolder yet self-conscious side. A wilder, longing one. A blushing mess at times. Always trying to impress her. She held back a smile.

"I was cooking for you." His lips curled into a sarcastic smile at his own words. "Trying to."

"For Valentine's Day?" she asked, and her voice was somehow smaller than it was before.

Gansey merely nodded. The moment felt too big for words and Blue slowly stepped forward, into the warmth of his chest, to be engulfed in him. Her head against his heart, - purely coincidental but not unwanted - her small hands clutching him tight, digging into his coat. His fingers on her waist, gentle and steadying, tentative and sure at the same time. The smell of mint felt like home. He was all she breathed, all she wanted.

She didn't think of kissing him, there was no need. Sometimes, just this was enough. The simplicity of a hug, the calm that his wildly beating heart against her ear brought, the knowledge that he felt the same as she did.

When they pulled away, Gansey messed with her hair then put it behind her ears in the same breath. Blue was too lighthearted to glare; she made a pathetically weak attempt at one anyway.

"When you called, I was in the middle of executing plan B. I wasn't ready for you to come over yet."

"That's... you could have just told me," Blue stuttered but she didn't really feel angry anymore.

"And ruin the surprise?" Gansey guided her towards a horde of blankets spread out on the floor. "I didn't mean to lie to you, I panicked. Sit down, wrap yourself in. I'll open the window a bit. Take your coat off." He hung her coat up and turned to her. "I'll be right back."

When he returned, he had all the food he'd promised with him, plus apple, orange, and blueberry juice, and two glasses. When they started eating, Blue would be lying to say she wasn't surprised to find out that the salad and sandwiches were actually great. Making them didn't require mad cooking skills, she supposed, but this was the boy who kept his fridge in the bathroom. She was almost wary to eat anything that came out of Monmouth.

But Gansey beamed wildly at her when she complimented his sandwiches and that mostly made up for the risk of food poisoning.

After returning from a bathroom break, Blue settled back inside the jungle of blankets to find a Valentine's Day card waiting for her where previously the food had been. It was white with a vine of delicate and refined hearts decorating the top and the words 'Happy Valentine's Day' written in red at the bottom.

Blue raised her eyes to Gansey's and he said, "I know I said we could pretend it's just another normal day, but -" He didn't continue, waving for her to open it. The gesture was almost shy.

Blue didn't mean to laugh when she did and it was probably somewhat cruel of her to do so but it was instinctive. She couldn't hold her giggles back. Gansey gave her an equally amused and wounded look and she pressed her lips together, cheeks flushed. She wasn't laughing at him and she didn't want him to think so. Well. In truth, she was, but not for the reasons he thought.

Her eyebrows lifted in amusement, her smile was gleeful. It was quite telling that despite being laughed at, he still softened at the sight of her smile.

She read aloud, "Will you be my Valentine? Check yes or no. Gansey," she chuckled, "we're not in middle school anymore."

"I," he trailed off, pursed his lips, and tried again. "I thought it would be charming."

Blue considered this for a moment. She considered it as seriously as she could but - she burst out laughing again, shaking her head. "It isn't. I appreciate the gesture though."

Gansey gave her a tight-lipped smile and reached over to refill their drinks. Blue suddenly wished he was wearing his glasses. She wished he would sit closer. She wished she was wrapped up in his scent and arms, and wished she wasn't so deeply involved with him at the same time. She didn't, however, wish he was less lame than he was.

She touched his hand as he poured blueberry juice into her glass and he started, spilling some of it on the blankets. Blue smirked.

"It's okay," she told him before he could scramble to get up to remove the stain, and he started feeling even more awkward. She didn't let go of his hand. "Do you have a pen?"

His distracted eyes met hers and she gave him an encouraging smile. He nodded. "Just a moment, Jane."

Blue ended up checking 'yes' despite herself, and it felt silly but right. She recognized the lightness of her heart as pure child-like giddiness and didn't even try to stop herself from feeling it. Just one time they could pretend even in daylight.

xxx

Blue looked at all the blankets they were sitting on, all the blankets wrapped around them. "We could make a blanket fort," she suggested, her voice low to adapt to the quiet.

Gansey's glasses were on, and a book about old legends was sitting on his left, her lion on her lap, an empty chocolate box between them. He had been reading stories aloud to her because she asked him to, and at one point, she, on a strange wild impulse, leaned over to feed him chocolate while he paused to take a breath.

Gansey had looked up from his book, stared at her for a while as he chewed and swallowed, then gave her a smile. Blue felt her face heating up, evidence of her mortification over what she just did, but she still reached for another and pressed it to his mouth. His lips brushed her fingers and Blue's heart skipped a beat, her breath hitched in her throat. Gansey's lips were kissable and soft, annoyingly desirable, and Blue didn't immediately pull away like she should have. He caught her gaze and held it, made sure she couldn't look away as he captured her wrist and pressed his mouth against her finger. He didn't move away for several seconds, and Blue thought it was almost too much. The way he was looking at her, the feel of his hand around her wrist, his lips against her skin, so damn forbidden. She wanted to pull away; she wanted to stay like this for eternity. She didn't move until he did. She couldn't stop herself from doing it again.

It had been quiet between them for a while now. The day was drawing to an end and Blue didn't yet want to go. She grasped at something to do, a reason to stay.

Gansey made an affirmative noise, blinked at her slowly through his glasses, but didn't move. Blue didn't either for a few minutes, too content to enjoy the comfortable peace between them for a bit more, but eventually she convinced her legs to function and stood up. Gansey immediately jumped to attention, grabbing at her hands, an edge of desperation in his movements.

"Don't go yet," he said. Pleaded.

She gave him a soft smile. "I'm not. Blanket fort, remember?"

xxx

The blanket fort was quickly thrown together and a product of generally lazy work but it did its job. Another day, when they weren't constantly racing against time, they could build a real, epic blanket fort and live in it for weeks. Maybe. That seemed like the kind of thing she'd want to do with her future partner. It also seemed like the kind of thing no one could ever afford.

It wasn't a spacious thing so they lay side by side, their bodies, from head to toe, pressed against each other's. All she heard in the quiet was his slow breathing and the thump-thump-thump of her heart. It was growing dark outside, and even darker in their blanket fort supported by a number of chairs and his bed. It would be too easy to fall asleep now, she thought, but didn't find a fault in that idea. She was so weak and so selfish and so magnificently in love.

She tried to be casual as her fingers first climbed up the back of his hand, stroked his skin, then slipped inside his waiting grip, but her heart was a fluttery, dancing, quivering thing. It was okay, she was almost used to it by now. His was palm in hers was warm, strong, and sure.

"Did you know," she began quietly, lips slowly forming the words, "that St. Valentine is not only the patron of love and relationships but also plagues and bee keepers?"

Gansey hummed. "No, I did not, Jane. Is that right?"

She chuckled. "Yeah. Bee keepers. Does that make you like this day less?"

Gansey shook his head in amusement. "Why do you know this?"

"What do you think public school is teaching me if not unnecessary trivia in a lazy attempt to prepare me for the real world outside?" she taunted but her jab was soft-edged and mellow. At Gansey's look, she conceded, "I read it on the internet." A pause. "Happy Valentine's Day, Gansey."

Stupidly, without even realizing, she let herself be won over. She didn't terribly mind it at the moment.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Jane."

Then she snuggled closer to him and lay her head on his shoulder. He patted her hair, threaded his fingers through the strands. His other hand was still in hers, and neither of them moved or made a sound. Blue closed her eyes. When she fell asleep, Gansey was still playing with her hair.

xxx

When she woke up, a door slammed shut and someone cursed, "Jesus H. Christ, what is that in our living room?"

Gansey stirred under her, his movements slow and sluggish, and Blue determinedly kept her eyes shut. Gansey spit her hair out of his mouth, groaned quietly, and made to get up. Blue's hand was latched onto his sweater and when he tried to move, she tightened her grip on him.

"No," she mumbled, only half-awake.

Someone was snickering but it sounded far away. The only real thing seemed to be Gansey's solid chest moving under her cheek with every breath and the clean minty scent that surrounded her. She was warm and comfortable and sleepy. All she knew was that she didn't want Gansey to move.

She lazily patted his chest, trying to say, "stay" without saying it. "No," she repeated quietly, hoping he would understand her.

Gansey stayed. In the blurry haze of her mind, she could still register his warm hand coming to rest on her waist, hugging her to his chest. He didn't move after that and they remained wrapped up in each other on the floor under an army of blankets for the whole night. Just for one night.

[chickencorbinblue]

I'm extremely sleepy and cold but look at these gr9 selfies I took the other day