#theconsciousparent

[jenteranyala]

Seperti kita, anak adalah jiwa yang berdenyut dengan ciri khasnya sendiri

Pertama membaca buku ini beberapa bulan yang lalu, saya merasa ini buku yang ringan. Hahahaha, sombongnya. Awalnya karena saya membaca buku ini berbarengan dengan beberapa buku lain yang rasanya lebih susah dipahaminya, tapi buku ini sangat mudah dipahami, membuat saya tercerahkan tanpa perlu pusing apa maksud penulisnya. Wkwkwk

Karena buku ini akan bercerita (baca: membicarakan) tentang kesadaran, tentunya dimulai dengan menceritakan terlebih dahulu kisah yang menggugah kesadaran kita. Pikiran kita, seperti monyet yang senantiasa melompat-lompat dari satu dahan ke dahan yang lain. Karenanya kita perlu belajar untuk mengendalikan pikiran, tapi mengendalikan pikiran dengan cara kamu harus selalu memikirkan A dan hanya A, kadang tidak langsung berhasil. Kita perlu berusaha memahami terlebih dahulu arah “perginya” pikiran kita dan pola perpindahan pikiran kita dari satu hal ke hal lain. Dengan rutin belajar “melihat/ memperhatikan” pikiran, kita akan belajar bagaimana pola gerakan pikiran kita.

Diawali dengan cerita tentang uang yang dibagi dua sama besar, karena di era modern uang menjadi satu hal yang sangat sentral dalam kehidupan banyak orang. Ungkapan, “Uang memang bukan segalanya tapi segalanya butuh uang” menjadi tren yang diulang-ulang di sosial media selama beberapa tahun belakangan, dan tentunya ungkapan dari dunia maya itu kemudian berpengaruh pada dunia nyata.

Memilih contoh tentang uang sungguh menyadarkan saya bahwa memang di kehidupan modern ini, meskipun kita merasa kita tidak menghamba uang, pada kenyataannya uang menjadi alat tukar yang tidak terelakkan fungsinya. Tenaga kita dihitung dengan uang, waktu kita pun dihitung dengan uang. Cita-cita manusia pun kini diukur dengan uang. Jadi, ketika Ibu Shefali menggunakan uang sebagai contoh, ini sungguh dekat dengan kehidupan kita sehari-hari.

* * *

Saya suka judul sub bāb pertama, Kita membesarkan sebuah spirit yang berdenyut dengan ciri khasnya sendiri. Anak bukan sekadar anak, tetapi adalah rūh Tuhan, sebagaimana kita semua manusia juga ditiupkan Rūh Ilahi dalam diri kita. Tapi apakah Tuhan berada dalam pusat kesadaran kita? Bahkan kesadaran kita pun seringkali terombang-ambing dalam kegiatan dunia yang tidak putus-putus dan ditambah dengan ego yang tidak juga terpuaskan. Saya juga sangat menyukai pembahasan Ibu Shefali tentang ego yang nanti saya ceritakan juga.

Saya lebih suka menggunakan kata bercerita daripada berbicara, karena bercerita membuat saya merasa lebih bersemangat. Walaupun kenyataannya terkadang kata-kata yang saya gunakan tetap membingungkan. Oke skip.

Membicarakan tentang spirit ini Ibu Shefali menceritakan tentang anak adalah pribadi yang berbeda dengan kita, orang tuanya. Bagaimana pun kita berusaha membuat mereka menjadi kembaran mini kita, anak tetaplah pribadi yang mandiri, ia memiliki jiwanya sendiri, kesukaannya sendiri, dan tentunya kehidupannya sendiri. Ada banyak orang tua yang membuat anaknya menjalankan kehidupan orang tuanya, anaknya menjadi pemenuhan keinginan yang dahulu tidak pernah dirasakan oleh orang tuanya. Dan ini terkadang bukan menyenangkan anak kita, malah meracuni mereka.

Dan kenapa ini bisa terjadi? Karena kita melakukan segala sesuatunya dengan otomatis dan tanpa pikir panjang. Misalnya ketika menghadapi anak menangis, hal otomatis yang kita lakukan adalah mencari cara untuk membuat anak berhenti menangis. Kita tidak terlebih dahulu mencari tahu mengapa anak menangis, tetapi kita malah mencari cara membuatnya berhenti; karena tangisan itu mengganggu, karena kita takut tangisan anak mengganggu orang lain seperti tetangga, atau bahkan (alasan yang mungkin kebanyakan tidak kita sadari adalah) karena tangisan anak mengingatkan kita pada puluhan atau bahkan ratusan tangisan kita di masa kecil yang tidak bertemu dengan jawabannya—yang sama seperti kita sebagai orang tua saat ini, orang tua kita pun terburu-buru mencari cara menghentikan tangisan kita dulu. Kita lupa bahwa tangisan adalah media komunikasi bagi anak, kita lupa bahwa ketika anak menangis ada yang berusaha dia ungkapkan tetapi tidak bisa, belum mampu, tidak paham bagaimana caranya atau apa kata yang tepat, atau dorongan emosinya terlalu kuat hingga ia tidak bisa berkata-kata. Ada banyak sekali alasan menangis, dan tiap kali menangis bisa jadi dengan alasan yang berbeda pula, tetapi kita lupa bahwa kita pernah menjadi anak-anak dan pernah menangis untuk membuat dunia bisa mendengar apa yang kita harapkan.

Saya menggunakan kata lupa untuk menggantikan kata tidak sadar. Dan Ibu Shefali menggunakan kata kesadaran untuk mengingatkan kita. Kita berangkat dari tidak sadar, kita berangkat dari lupa. Melupakan masa kecil kita menjadi jalan keluar terbaik untuk melepaskan kita dari luka-luka masa lalu. Saya pun demikian, melarikan diri dari masa kecil yang tidak menyenangkan dengan melupakannya. Kita lupa karena mungkin kita tidak siap menanggung lukanya yang hadir kembali dalam kehidupan kita.

Ibu Shefali mengingatkan kita bahwa kita sebagai orang tua, sebagai orang dewasa kita kehilangan kompas kehidupan kita. Seperti yang saya bilang tadi, kita tidak lagi menjadikan Tuhan sebagai pusat kesadaran kita. Sehingga kita kehilangan arah, kita terbiasa melakukan sesuatu tanpa menyadarinya, otomatis dan tanpa banyak berpikir. Padahal mungkin kalau kita mau meluangkan sedikit waktu untuk memikirkannya, kita bisa mengambil keputusan yang lebih bijak.

* * *

Narasi I buku The Conscious Parent Chapt 1. 

[alyssazander]

Let’s Meet the Shadow

I hope you are all doing well over there, experiencing joy and likely the opposite of that from time to time as well. Remember, it's perfectly ok and VITAL to experience all the things- they all play a role in the healing that is necessary at this time. So, be gentle with yourself and know that I am hugging you all hard Here are some little conversation starters for you, you and your higher self, you and your partner.. Whatever you are called to.  

Here are some take aways for me in the first couple of chapters, I hope you enjoy!

To Connect with Your Children, First Connect with Yourself  (Chapter 1, pg.6)

"If you want to enter into a state of pure connection with your child, you can achieve this by setting aside any sense of superiority. By not hiding behind an egoic image, you will be able to engage your child as a real person like yourself."

-Where in our relationships with our children are we projecting a superior demeanor? 

-Where can we establish more of a partnership with our children and equalize the playing field in our families? 

-Where can we allow ourselves to step off our pedestals of dominance? 

How Can a Child Awaken an Adult? (Chapter 2, pg.15)

"A certain child enters our life with its individual troubles, difficulties, stubbornness, and temperamental challenges in order to help us become aware of how much we have yet to grow." Dr. Shefali shares the story of Jessica and her mother Anya on page 16: "The only way we could unlock the unconsciousness that Anya's daughter triggered in her was by revisiting her past, in particular her family of origin...How can we guide, protect, and provide for our children in the physical world, yet rigorously relinquish all sense of domination of their spirit, unless we have nurtured a free spirit within ourselves?"

This is our work as the adults in your children's lives. This can be a difficult and painful experience for us to reflect on. Please know that you are held and it is safe to explore and be curious about your past. 

-What are some of your own wounds from your childhood?

-When was the first time you felt that wound or shadow side of yourself? 

-Sit with each one (list below) for a moment and observe what emotions arise when you say them to yourself. Where do you feel it in your body? 

Remember that no emotions are bad, our bodies reaction to these are our invitation and portal into determining our wounds and fears, ultimately opening the door to our healing.... 

Abandonment, Rejection, Shame, Guilt, Jealousy, Envy, Rage, Worthiness, I am not good enough, I am unlovable, My feelings are not valid, I must take care of everyone around me

-Go back to a time in our life when we felt most vulnerable. Who was there? What did you feel? Sit with this for a moment and take in any messages that come through...

-Where can we nurture ourselves more, cultivating more of a free spirit within us?

"Unless we consciously integrate the unintegrated aspects of our childhood, they never leave us but repeatedly reincarnate themselves in our present, then show up all over again in our children." 

I am with you all, you are not alone. I am grateful and truly honored to do this work with you at this time!  

With so much love,

Alyssa

[thethingssheread]

August 2021

[eatclean-bewhole]

My all-time favorite “parenting” book is The Conscious Parent, but The Awakened Family is a close runner-up.

Focus on self-growth when having academic discussions:

“I know you want to succeed and do your best, so let’s work on this together.”

“Let’s try to figure out what your strengths are, and the areas you need help in.”

When your child brings up body image or weight:

“I see you’re upset with your weight and feel pressure to look different. Can we talk about this?”

“Let’s look at our relationship to food, and ways we can engage with greater mindfulness and balance.”

When your child is being disrespectful (after giving both of you space to cool off):

“Are you operating out of your highest self right now?”

“Is there another way you could express yourself so that your needs can be met?

Observe and highlight their good behavior:

“I love how peaceful you are right now.”

“I feel so connected to you when we simply enjoy each other’s company like this.”

#consciousparenting #consciousness #theconsciousparent

[neuromamablog]

Esta frase fue la favorita de mi amiga Nath de @soymamaynomecompadezcas cuando conversamos sobre la maternidad en consciencia. La dije mientras hablabamos sobre el significado de ser una mamá consciente que, entre otras cosas, signifca estar presente, vivir en el presente conectada con lo que sucede ahora. La #maternidadenconsciencia es un viaje, un camino en el que decides no estar pensando en lo que pasó ayer, las fallas o puntos de mejora del pasado ni tampoco estar preocupada por lo que vendrá. Decides conectar con el alma de tus hijos, con sus necesidades en el hoy. En el momento presente. La frase la dije así y se me quedó pegada pues a Nath le gustó tanto que me hizo volver a reflexionar al respecto. Así que siguiendo su consejo la comparto pues, realmente contruyedo un buen hoy, estando presentes hoy tendremos un ayer lleno de buenos recuerdos y un mañana lleno de esperanza al que mirar. #maternidadconsciente #theconsciousparent #neuromamá #neurotips #neuromamáblog #mamádetres (en Lima, Peru) https://www.instagram.com/p/CF-Pg6njlXp/?igshid=6rypb7e0ofn7

[responsiveparenting]

Posted @withregram • @chelsea.macphail I used to be very insecure.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Actually I am still battling my insecurities and finding my way into feeling confident to stand up for myself in a way that honors who I am. Which means without reacting and yelling and being rude in defense. There used to be a lot of that.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I spent years becoming a therapist, working with children and trying to build my confidence with knowledge, hoping it would protect me from making mistakes and make me a good mom whenever that time came.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What I have learned on this journey in motherhood is that I still have so much more to do in the journey of growing myself up into the human I want to be.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I have also learned that when I let go of the facts, the “shoulds”, the drive to be perfect, and the fear of others' opinions - and just be with my daughter, engaging with her and enjoying her for exactly who she is - that I am in that moment being the best mom possible.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I still get sucked into thinking that there is something more I could know, or do, or buy that will offer Taylor the best childhood. And then I breathe, and I remember my favorite new mantra which comes from Gordon Neufeld.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am my child’s best bet. I don’t have to know all of the answers, I just need to be the answer for her.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And reflecting on that, I realize that I feel most empowered as a mother, because I know Taylor, I can read her cues, respond to her needs and step into that caregiving role with love, empathy, respect and confidence.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It is safe to trust my intuition. I am her best bet.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And mama, so are you. You are the best mother to your little one. And I hope you can keep that in your heart always.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #babyledsleep #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #responsiveparenting #mindfulmama #letthembelittle #raisingthefuture #reparenting #babysleepconsultant #lifeasamama #toddlermomlife #raisinglittles #raisethemkind #joyfulmamas #simplymamahood #honestmotherhood #anxiousmama #mamastrong #theconsciousparent https://www.instagram.com/p/CDQ7uobH9PT/?igshid=mrm24yg724fp

[theconcept-blog]

Bought these 2 amazing books to read, cant wait for it #vlogger #vlogging #unleashurtruepotential #book #learn #theconsciousparent #12rulesforlife https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn51W9KHKg2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=oe303gjdsej3

[narcichondriac]

Emmeline Jane’s work. 2.5 and already flows . . . #EmmelineJane #childhoodunplugged #fiercelittleones #gratefulmama #ittakesavillage #letthembelittle #littleandbrave #loveyourself #motherhoodbliss #motherhoodrising #mamayogi #oureverydaymoments #postpartum #theartofbeingamother #theartofmotherhood #theartofslowliving #theconsciousparent #thecontinuumconcept #wildandfree #wildwomanrising #wisewomanrising #StrongBack #SoftFront #WildHeart #FairfieldIowa #midwest #iowa #fairfieldia #iowababy #midwestbaby (at Fairfield, Iowa)

[mindfullyeverything]

Currently reading: The Conscious Parent.

[sim0nechristine]

There are many ways to declutter and these past five days have certainly been dedicated to decluttering in many shapes and forms. Now that I am on the last two days of my course, I have but one assignment left and I am very much looking forward to starting this one. 💜 #drshefali #theconsciousparent #4weekstoanawakenedfamily #declutteringmylife #weekfouriscomingtoanend #lemonwateralldaylong #lastassignment #awesome 🌺 @drshefalitsabary

[pixieandthebull]

Fathers day gift for the conscious man! A stunning and powerful Sri yantra that is ready and available. $98.88 plus tax and shipping where applicable. . . The SRI yantra is a 12000 year old symbol and is considered the mother of all yantras. Yantras are geometrically designed based on the principles of sacred geometry and are used for meditation. Traditionally, such symbols are used to balance the left and right aspects of the brain, focus our minds or to focus on spiritual concepts to obtain spiritual benefit. The SRI yantra is considered to be the tool for obtaining and fulfilling all worldly desires and for material manifestation through increasing our focus and by clearing our minds so that we may see our goals clearly. Clarity is the underlying energy! . . Crystals are blue Jasper, Angel Aura quartz, Aqua Aura quartz, selenite, rose quartz, and copper. . . #sriyantra #yantra #sacredgeometry #manifest #manifesting #meditation #manifestation #crystalart #crystalgrid #artwithapurpose #thepixieandthebull #crystalgrids #framedcrystalgrid #framedcrystalart #healingcrystalart #artwithapurpose #crystals #fathersdaygifts #fathersday #fathersdaygiftideas #consciousman #consciousmen #theconsciousparent #theconsciouscommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNfb6en1sC/?igshid=er97hpscr1zr

[alyssazander]

The Conscious Parent

My invitation to self-transformation and growth began years go, perhaps after the shock of finishing undergrad and not having a clue what to do next However, in the past few years it has been thrown into overdrive, never ceasing to stop, and always propelling me into deeper awareness and most profoundly, healing of my own childhood traumas. Do I wake up some times and say "Universe, please don't teach me anything new today!”... why yes, I do. And yet, the lessons pour in, and I am humbled by it all. The past several years I have turned towards my family to heal deep generational wounds, and although it has been difficult, emotional, intense, and painful, it has brought my family peace, unconditional love, and has liberated us all from the years of pain we harbor within. We know it doesn't end here and that there will always be work, but we are committed to the vision of healing for all and all to come after us. We are committed to shifting family dynamics that no longer work, and be it messy as hell, we trek through the shit.

Why am I sharing this extremely personal story... you are likely asking yourself at this point, haha. Because I woke up this morning extremely emotional, and I honor the tears because they are a release and an expression of mourning what no longer serves us. Then I began to fill my cup with some reading that I know would speak to my soul, The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary. The children I have walked this journey with have given me the ability to go within and heal my own childhood traumas (which we all have to certain extents), and this book is depicting the exact ways that I have been able to do this, while honoring and seeing the light in each child. They are all so unique and beautiful, and the most forgiving and loving humans - I'm sure you've noticed! 

My invitation to you all, if you feel called to embark on this journey of self-healing and going in deep through the sacred relationship between you and your children is reflection through some curated text and questions from The Conscious Parent. This is an invitation for self-reflection really, and continued cultivation of the powerful and profound relationship that is between you and your children. Since many of you are spending more (a lot more, haha) time with your children at this time, it is a beautiful and special opportunity to explore this. Being quarantined with your loved ones will bring up a lot of stuff, and if I can extend an invitation to you all to look at those "triggers" with curiosity and playfulness. My hope is that it will become a healing period for you all as well. 

I will post some questions and practices that you could either respond privately to me, comment for the collective to see, or just have it be a discussion between you and your higher self, you and your partner.. whatever you feel called to. Remember this is for you, so if this is not the time for YOU, there is nothing wrong, nothing to feel guilty of, nothing to be ashamed of. You are whole, you are worthy, and are completely held from any and all judgement so please don't feel pressured at all. I love you all unconditionally.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you all. If you know someone who might also be interested please feel free to forward this to anyone. You are not alone, we are in this together!

With all my love,

Alyssa

[narcichondriac]

Dance, baby dance. . . . #EmmelineJane #childhoodunplugged #fiercelittleones #gratefulmama #ittakesavillage #letthembelittle #littleandbrave #loveyourself #motherhoodbliss #motherhoodrising #mamayogi #oureverydaymoments #postpartum #theartofbeingamother #theartofmotherhood #theartofslowliving #theconsciousparent #thecontinuumconcept #wildandfree #wildwomanrising #wisewomanrising #StrongBack #SoftFront #WildHeart #FairfieldIowa #midwest #iowa #fairfieldia #iowababy #midwestbaby (at Fairfield, Iowa)

[mindfullyeverything]

February's reading.

[sim0nechristine]

Decluttering possessions now and then is a must and even though I don't have much to begin with, I still found a few things and some clothes that just take up space in the closet. Even though I had two days for this assignment, I may just take one more day at a later time. Just because it feels so good! 💜 #drshefali #theconsciousparent #4weekstoanawakenedfamily #weekfourdayoneandtwo #ialsostackedfirewoodtoday #itjustfeelsgood #declutteringpossesions #lemonwater 🌺 @drshefalitsabary