#theatre gays THERES THIS ONE FUCKING THEATRE KID AT MY FUCKING SCHOOL WHOS SO FUCKING RUDE
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being gay doesnt give you the right to be a fucking asshole
#gay#so many gay men are just awful and its time we accept the fact that they too can be misogynistic jerks#white skinny cis gay people to be exact#god theyre fucking insufferable sometimes i wanna punch them in the balls#theatre gays THERES THIS ONE FUCKING THEATRE KID AT MY FUCKING SCHOOL WHOS SO FUCKING RUDE#AND ALL THE KIDS HE HANGS OUT WITH ARE ALL FUCKING ASSHOLES#THEYRE TERRIBLE#I HATE THEM#btw not saying all gay guys are horrible defintiely NOT saying that#i just think sometimes they get a little too cocky for their own good and need to check themselves sometimes#lgbtq#queer
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ok but like, here me out,,,,, avatar high school au but its just me projecting my personality and trauma
my instagram
Aang
Freshman
He's trying his gosh darn hardest
The group baby
Appa is a therapy dog so he spends the day with gyatso in his classroom :)
Hes a saint bernard
The best man
Despite katara being the ‘mom friend’ he runs the god damn show
Momo is a shit head sphinx cat
The gang dropped movie nights for “knitting nights” so they could all learn to knit him sweaters
Hes very fashionable
he hates it
sokkas best friend
Aang makes costumes so when halloween comes around momo is very scary as dorothy
Track and field babey
Does not curse
He has a hard time keeping up with world events
Straight (i'm not wrong)
he and toph have an ongoing tradition of going in full dress to waffle house before school dances.
it got to the point where now all the workers know them by name
they also accidentally crashed a white lotus meeting and just kept going
Azula
Band kid
Sophomore
Rich girl with 2 friends
Pre eng
i know most schools dont have this program, but mine did and holy shit. those were some overachievers
The most annoying mf on the planet
Not a single teacher likes her
The know it all that will fight if you don't agree with the facts
She was the ww2 kid
Capitalist in the worst fucking way
Closeted lesbian, when she figures that shit out she gets a lil better
The one who can drive
Mai
Bisexual
She's really good at math?? Like shes the gay who can do math
But cannot drive, bitch failed her permit more times than she can count
She nearly went to an all girls boarding school at one point
Sophomore
Colorguard!!
She has beat the shit out of people she's walked in on making out in the bathroom
Genuine friends with the faculty??
She takes programming/coding as a filler class but she's pretty good and continues to pursue it.
Her tumblr looks sick as hell
has caused a teacher to cry
Ty lee
Bisexual
Lesbian earings actin mf
Sophomore
Cheerleader
She is the nicest mother fucker and everyone loves her
Despite acting like an airhead she's really science orientated
When she takes biology she passes with flying colors
Very invested in social justice
She would never hurt a fly but she will fuck you up
The one with a healthy relationship with her father
has comforted a teacher she found crying in the parking lot
Iroh
Now runs the jasmine dragon where zuko works after school w/ katara
Knows every single kid who comes in and tries his hardest to make sure everyone feels appreciated
Former war criminal
In a book club
The white lotus? Yeah this is the white lotus
Idk if it would be the same as the show, or if its just an old person shit talking group
Zuko
Junior
His dad got full custody of him and his sister when he divorced their mom
But at 13 he got kicked out for another bullshit reason and ever since Iroh has had custody of both of the siblings
But bitch boy ozai has visitation rights but only wants to see azula
Theatre kid!!
I mean he was gonna join jrotc to appease his dad but he figured his shit out before he really joined
A republican turned leftist
Hes queer he just doesnt know which label to use
Himbo rights
He and katara are best friends idgaf about ships but they are bros
orchestra kid! (yes this is me self projecting bc we have similar trauma)
Violist
Teachers have no idea what to do with him bc on one hand he's very reclusive and on the other his sister has the worst opinions so they don't know
Katara
Sophomore
Still the mom friend but this time she goes to therapy
Bc she literally raised her brother after her mother died?? And then became a parental figure to her FRIENDS???
Biggest political activist, genuinely does her best at educating herself and others about civil injustices
Also really obsessed with cults and true crime
Choir kid
She takes AP history, english, and second language classes
Is trying her hardest in math and sciences
Huge stuffed animal collection
Student council vice president
she originally ran for president but jets gang voted him in as a joke
The teachers pet
Swim team bitches
Best friends with the school janitors
This is my au so fuck off she and zuko are chaotic friendgroup parents and annoying best friends i love them
and maybe something more???
who fucking knows theres a betting pool in the white lotus and so far aang is winning
Sokka
Junior
Bisexual
Gym and History teachers LOVE him
On the swim team and the fishing team
Started crying when he took his drivers test
Goes to gsa w/ toph and loses his fucking mind
He's the reason suki’s car is disgusting
In all advanced/ap classes in math and science
Was the kid who carries a portable speaker around until suki put him in his place
Still has to use his hands to figure out left and right
Yue
Technically she doesn't go to school with them she goes to a nearby private school
She met the gang at a football game and has been invited to every group outing since
Junior!!
Very invested in world politics
When she joins the group at school events she ends up making friends with all the staff
Debate team kid!!!
She's not a rule breaker she just knows their limitations ;)
at one point missed school for like 2 months and everyone thought she died
turns out it was just fucking pneumonia and sokka is one dirty liar
Suki
oh? you mean yue’s best friend bc we dont respect pitting women against each other in this household?
Junior
Bisexual icon!!!
Oh god what sport would she do??
Probably basketball??
Or she would just do martial arts outside of school
And have a ‘female empowerment’ club or somethin
100% believes in self government in society and that the current gov exists purely on the theory that all humans are inherently evil
Bitch for bernie
Her car is DISGUSTING
She asks if she can hit peoples juul and then throws it in the trash
The gym coaches really like her but she fucking hates them
Is very close with her school counselor??
She never wants to run but she keeps getting elected to homecoming court
Toph
Freshman
Former homeschool bitch
Joined the wrestling team and the fishing team??
She doesn't even like fishing she just thinks it's hilarious
Very good a pottery and that's her arts credit
She and iroh have lunch together every thursday
If she catches wind of you putting gum on desks they will find your body in a ditch
She makes sokka and suki take her to prom
She hates it she just likes to fuck with people at prom
Sometimes she just tells people she doesn't believe in something bc she cant see it
has been wearing the same sandles for the past 3 years bc “they’re reliable”
Cryptid hunter
Goes to gsa bc its better than any fucking reality tv show
Has nearly burnt the house down making ramen
#do i find myself so fucking funny? yeah....#might fuck around and do something w/ this who knows#guess which of these are things ive actually done#aang#azula#tylee#mai#tyzula#mailee#iroh#zuko#zutara#taang#katara#jasmine dragon#sokka#yue#suki#sukka#toph#toph beifong#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#fan art#avatar the last airbender#atla#momo#appa
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Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.
So without further ado:
DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.
the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.
*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*
In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)
Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*
Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something
Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*
Connor: your cast. no one���s signed it.
Evan: uh no. no one has.
Connor: gotta sharpie?
Evan: huh?
Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.
Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?
Connor: *shrugs* feels right.
Evan: i wish i could do that
Connor: what?
Evan: UH, IMEAN—
Connor: no wait- dude.
Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.
Connor: Why Cant you be?
Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.
Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.
*the bell rings*
Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—
Connor: i’ll give you a ride.
Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-
Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.
——
they meet Zoe in the parking lot
Zoe: I have Late practice today
Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.
Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?
Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?
Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?
Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.
Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?
Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.
Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.
Connor: i wont Princess
Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.
Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—
Evan: Panic Attack.
Connor: Right, uh
Connor: can you get in the car?
Evan: yeah
*car nonsense*
Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait
Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?
Connor: What stuff!??
Evan: any Stuff!
Connor: Is Zoe okay??
Evan: Sure?!
Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?
we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*
i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)
Evan: Connor
Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah
Evan: thanks
Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?
Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.
Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.
Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.
Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.
Evan: About stuff?
Connor: Yeah, Stuff.
*the convo lulls*
Connor: do you have a laptop?
Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?
Connor: give me a second
Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat
Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set
Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.
Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.
Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself
Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,
Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—
Connor: thats perfect.
Connor starts to sing for forever,
eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.
the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.
Evan: its- its pretty late.
Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.
Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.
Connor: what are you talking about?
Evan: being spontaneous?
Connor: o-okay.
and it cuts to black.
theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms
sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.
(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.
but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.
its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)
after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.
requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.
school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.
Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.
Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.
Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?
Evan: yeah, sure.
this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.
Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.
she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.
Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.
jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.
Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.
Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly
Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?
Connor: Kleinman Did!
Zoe: what?
Connor: Why Do you care?
Zoe: because! you look happy around him!
Connor: i, i do?
Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.
Connor: oh.
Zoe: Come back inside?
Connor: y, Yeah.
they all perform You Will Be Found together.
end act 1.
(no more dialogue from here i got tired)
to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.
Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.
good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.
Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.
Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.
Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).
#dear evan hansen#deh#connor murphy#evan hansen#zoe murphy#musicals#broadway#deh rewrite i guess?#this is more like the outline of a fic i’ll never write#kd.txt#i was posessed to write this#tree bros
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Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 3
Person: it’s to early for me to be alive right now
Teacher: who invented math? Student: Lincoln.
Teacher: You feel as if you get low marks on this 5 paragraph essay you’ll end up poor and homeless and addicted to drugs. Student 1: Yes. Student 2: That’s exactly how it works. Student 3: I mean… you’re not wrong.
Student: It’s called panic and I do it well. I do it very well.
Student 1: I need to get glasses. Student 2: I need to get a will to live.
Student: Physics eats brains for lunch and sucks ass for dinner.
Student: Fuck you Perry the platypus!!
Student: he’s an Asian white supremisist. How does that even happen.
Teacher: After treating him like dirt for 7 years what is he to me? Student 1: Friends? Student 2: Lovers?
Teachers: We can’t have poor people running the place, that’s stupid.
Teachers: It was illegal to be alone because when you are alone you commit a sin.
Student: They play with your intestines? Like jumprope???
Student 1: you make me want to kill myself Student 2: Bitch please! I’ve been making myself want to kill myself for years.
Teacher: If you’re in my class don’t be acting the fool
Student: that’s it! You’ve lost your titty privileges
Student: I have the bladder of an octopus please let me go to the bathroom
Teacher: America broke up with Britain through text and by telling all of their friends but not actually telling Britain.
Student: my peripheral vision up is about as good as a fucking snail’s.
Student: I am allergic to myself.
Student: she brought my coconut juice. I’m going to cry.
Student: my name is Bitch.
Student: my elevator is literally a vsco girl
Student 1: what do you think? Student 2: I think I’m a fucking slut.
Student 1: I look like a lightbulb Student 2: A cute lightbulb. 10/10 would screw you (in)
Teacher: No one likes Axe, but its your friend.
Student: I am a flaming homosexual and that is why I want to dye my hair pink in honor of the women that I love so much
Student: oh my god it’s Michael fucking Jackson! *screams*
Student: Im 16 but not even very much 16.
Teacher: Theres a reason my cousin Neil trades three shifts of paramedic work so he doesn’t have to work on the night of the full moon.
Student: I know it sounds scary running from the police but it’s actually just leisurely walking away from them.
Student: I was washing my hands after lunch and this guy just started bleeding out next to me.
Student: I’m just saying, I would wear a full out prom dress to school and no one could stop me.
Student: I have the strength of a roasted peanut.
Student 1: Avacodo’s are thicc though. If there was a sexiest food event then avocado would win hands down. Student 2: what about peaches Student1: I would 100% fuck an avocado.
Student: chicken nuggets re the dad bod of the food world.
Student: in conclusion: gay.
Student: Hey Mr (Teacher) can you please elaborate on your outfit choice today?
Teacher: Dueling? You know the 10 paces fire? The thing that Hamilton is known for but he was a lot better at?
Teacher: Dreams are kinda wack Student: But this is another level of wack.
Student 1: Im just saying you could totally suck a dick by mistake. Student 2: How? Student 1: Like if you’re watching a movie and he’s holding a soda bottle between his legs and you want a sip but it’s dark you could totally accidentally suck a dick.
Student 1: hurry the fuck up Student 2: that is not how you treat people, you need to have some respect. You say PLEASE hurry the fuck up.
Student: You know, Stockholm syndromes. Like when someone is kidnapped and then catches feelings for their master, daddy kinks, that kinda shit.
Student: IF I were to eat Donalt Trump’s ass it would be so white I’d get retinal cancer just from looking at it.
Student: You were texting her which made us loose the quizlet live game! She is a whore!
Teacher: you’re a dirty old man, you read the script
Student: you’re my hwb. Homies with benefits.
Student 1: I’m a shell 2: I’m a crab. 3: what do crabs do to shells 2: I’m going to go live and eat inside you then eventually leave you for another
Student: Ayyyy!! We’re getting mono!!
Student: Stop catching feelings you dumb emotionally suicidal bitch!!!!
Teacher: *Student’s name* you need to find friends who love you.
Student: Is that a kneecap? *fake cough* Slut. *fake cough*
Teacher: Yah Buccanan was our first gay president. Student: But he was a Democrat! Teacher:… you DO know that people can be gay and a democrat.
Student: This whole book was just a giant KFC commercial.
Student: he other day I tried to zoom in on a book.
Student: every time I head an Indian person talk it’s like they’re raping me but in a good way.
Student: You canned corn of a human.
Student: you look like a broken piano
Student: There’s no room for Jesus! I don’t want to see him!
Student 1: Tiger sharks are the goats of the ocean. Student 2: Wrong. I’m the goat of the ocean.
Student: Florida is the Bermuda Triangle of stupid shit.
Student: Jesus has a plan for me, and I don’t think it’s in his textbook of an agenda.
Student: did you talk to her? Because I’m pretty sure blowing up a school is frowned upon.
Student: and that’s on period no tampon.
Student 1: what would your stripper name be? Student 2: Ruby. Teacher who over heard: Excuse me. Teacher here, stripper conversation over there. Please move the inappropriate conversation somewhere where I can’t hear it. Vanilla Pudding. (the thing about this one, was she was telling us that in the past, her stripper name was Vanilla Pudding)
Student: (Different student’s name), if I told you that I was possessed last night would you believe me?
Student: (Teacher) I was possessed last night, is there, like, biology to support that?
Student: Could I theoretically live forever if I drank infinite 5 hour energies.
Teacher: I have more glue sticks I just don’t put them out because the freshman eat them.
Student: drinking chocolate milk isn’t good for you it just like tragic.
Student: who do people even get stds, I can’t even get dms
Student: Tell me you’re kidding. Tell me you did not find my house by looking at snap maps. YOU HAVE MY ADDRESS!!!
Student: Hey you lived in Africa right? Does that mean you can say the n word?
Student: Someone threatened to open up my chest, piss in it, and close it back up.
Student: For how good I am at catching feelings, you’d think I’d be better at sports.
Student 1: I’m a Taurus. Student 2: I thought you were gay.
Student: So if I ate a tide pod then ate a t-shirt what would happen?
Student: Buddhism is just a series of vibe checks until eventually one works.
Student: why does bugs bunny have so much cleavage??
Student: Don’t underestimate snoopy you fucking heathen.
Teacher: So what you’re saying is when the okay boomer generation dies we won’t be racist anymore?
Student: Venus is in retrograde and that’s why Im not dealing with your bullshit.
Student: What is wrong with you. No sincerely. What made you think that eating a green banana is okay.
Teacher: You know Up? In the movie there’s this dog and when he’s talking then he’ll turn and say squirrel. That’s like me. I think I have adhd.
Student: you absolute tea drinking taxes liberal.
Student 1: if you see my cat run. She’s psycho. Student 2: Can I run her over with my tires?
Student 1: I will drive us through the gates of Shaw and into the water. Student 2: I hope we blow up underwater.
Student 1: Juxpositioning my rain boots with my lingerie. Student 2: those rhyme. Wait no they don’t!
Student: when he says he has a tenor recorder, but really we all know he only has a soprano recorder.
Student 1: you’re shoelaces are untied Student 2: I know. I hope I trip on it and die. Student 3:I felt that
Student: Every time I see a 9/11 ad I always pretend to have a panic attack.
Students chanting: Eat the rich. Eat the rich. Student 2: Rich, more like Bitch.
Student 1: UWU I’m going to lock you in my gas chamber Student 2: Primes flame thrower UWU
Student: I’m not Like other girls. I die on command
Studrnt1: Turkey bitch Student 2: she just called you a turkey bitch Student 1: yes you specifically are a Turkey bitch
Student: I will eat a bitches dick. Gobble gobble motherfucker.
Student 1: he opens my snaps in 10 seconds Student 2: that’s love
Student 1: My for you page is almost exclusively gays, theatre, and Percy Jackson at this point. Student 2: Those are all the same thing basically.
Student: I would have kicked so much ass freshman year if I wasn’t depressed.
Student: Navy blue is the white kid who thinks he can say the n word of the color world. He thinks that he’s black.
Student: Your nose hairs look fragrant. Would you mind if I took a taste?
Student: Boxed water tastes like what I imagine trader joes to taste like as a water.
Student: The water from Moana would be a gentle lover.
Student: we feast tonight brother. I found this in the trash can.
Student: Okay, but I cry myself to sleep BETTER than you.
Student: Can you Venmo me some titties please?
Girl holding hands with another girl: It’s a good thing we’re dating otherwise this’d be pretty gay.
Student 1: I just wanted to know if you knew Lincoln personally. Teacher: What? Student 2: We think you’re a time traveler.
Student 1: Sweetie, you’re having a breakdown over rocks. Student 2: I really hate that class!!!
Student: I love being the joker when we play chess
Student: are you saying that you finger fuck your eurethra?
Student 1: Honestly sometimes I just go onto that lofi hip hop radio, beats to relax/study to thing and just get into a fight with someone in the comment section. It’s fantastic. Student 2: Sometimes they do give good advice though, once I asked if I should ask out this guy and they responded with “No, guys ain’t shit” and I was like “aight you right, you right” Student 3: Sometimes it gets weird though, like once I went on and everyone was talking about how sex and money have become the new gods of our time, and how someday a future generation will die without ever seeing the light of the sun. Student 1: Okay but are they wrong though?
Student: It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl or something in between or something else entirely. A bitch is a bitch, and you sir, are a bitch.
Student 1: so last night I killed and area few of your kids, I hope you don’t mind. Student 2: nah I don’t really care.
Student: what size pussy your phone got?
Student 1: I listen to songs about Greek gods and being polyamorous Student 2: I listen to songs about... smashing.
Student: Motzarella cheese is the pastel pink of the cheese world.
Student: Someone who can bench press 200 has nothing on someone that can just double fist eat Costco sized pound blocks of cheddar cheese.
Student: I will drag you down to hell and make the devil give you therapy so help me. Student: You see, we don’t conjugate words in English, much less math.
Students: well the thing about gamers is, you know they’re good with their hands.
Student: Oka first of all, we’re all on the same planet, so that’s already real small. Then, what are the chances that we were born the same species, like I could have been born a platypus. I could have been a mealworm. Then the chances that we’re in the same country then the same state then the same school like damn. Imma just vibe now.
Student 1: You’re built like a baked bean Student 2: IDK why that hurt me so much but it did.
Student: If I don’t get a hug in the next 10 minus, I’m going directly to the pentagon to tell Trump to suck my dick.
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modern au headcanons p2
hey guys, so after uhh everything crashed and burned as u can see from this post, i did not follow thru in good time with writing a modern au headcanon post… BUT!!! fortunately, i have returned from my semi hiatus to bring you… inspired by this OG post… httyd modern au headcanons part 2!!!
also sorry for the weird bullet points, i did this in microsoft word so the entire thing wouldnt fucKING DELETE AGAIN
· so like i said with the last one, cami is obviously internet famous for her ridiculously cool youtube channel
· shes also quite popular on insta but youtube is more her jam
· her fame started when a video of her pickpocketing stoick and them him finding out and absolutely Losing It went viral
· it was a vine
· you can hear hiccup laughing in the background
· her videos used to mainly feature pranks she did but since then shes branched out
· she still does a lot of pranks but now her videos also include: parkour, absolutely HORRIBLE karaoke (ft. hiccup and fishlegs), Q&A, playing with toothless for an hour and thirty minutes (yes, it did get a lot of views ((also toothless is a cat in this au))), roast battle vs snotlout (spoiler: snotlout cries), “a compilation of hiccup doing nerdy shit and me calling him a nerd (8 min, 30 sec)”, “reading yalls fanfiction abt me (fishlegs has an asthma attack)”, videos of her doing sports, & more
· like in the original hiccup and fishlegs have their own channel
· its literally shit
· they update it only on lethal amounts of caffeine
· its usually VERY active during finals week (hence their not great grades)
· it puts shane dawson to shame
· “NOT CLICKBATE: OBAMA IS FROM THE MOON????”
· “NEIL A IS ALIEN SPELLED BACKWARDS??? DID ARMSTRONG USE THE MOON AS A WAY TO FUEL UP BEFORE JUMPING BACK TO HIS COLONY ON MARS??”
· “MY CAT IS NOT FROM EARTH (VIDEO INCLUDED!!!!)”
· “got rejected again…. </3”
· “video of fishlegs on sugar high after i gave him a bunch of candy bc he wouldn’t stop crying”
· “kids from our school found us” (during the whole video theyre panicking while wearing wigs and fake mustaches)
· needless to say its very confusing when someone connects that those guys are also on cami’s channel
· shes pissed but comes around and they regularly star on her channel while she regularly stars on theirs
· hiccup also has his own side channel where he explains different animal species (natural history stuff) and also does various language tutorials
· fishlegs reads poetry and sings on his side channel
· cami has a video where she reacts to hiccup’s channel, he actually gained a lot of followers from it
· hiccup and fishlegs go to the same school while cami goes to an all girls school across town
· she actually doesn’t hate it
· hiccup and fishlegs are public school kids
· that public school vibe
· kids from their school are so confused how they know cami and rly jealous
· cami once stopped by after school (her school gets out a little earlier) and punched a bully for them
· it was iconic
· she smacked him right in the face and hauled hiccup’s ass up and dragged them both in the car
· cami is pretty popular at her school
· hiccup and fishlegs are NOT
· theyre honestly a bit like peter and ned from spiderman
· gotta love that lego deathstar
· cami does not like legos
· both hiccup and fishlegs are smart but don’t put in a lot of effort
· fishlegs excels at English and hiccup is good at science classes (esp bio) and history
· fishlegs is ok at history but finds some of it a little boring
· they HATE gym
· theyre both shocked to find that cami (a dumbassTM) is actually a straight A student
· shes super competitive so she actually does super well and gets rly rly good grades and all her teachers love her
· she didn’t for awhile bc she has ADHD for school was HARD but shes gotten a lot better and got tutors and study methods and also shes just super competitive
· she was on math team in middle school and hiccup wont SHUt Up about IT
· “hey theres my favorite student mathlete!!!!!”
· fishlegs doesn’t even try and help him anymore, he does this to himself
· fishlegs wins English awards every year
· he also got a 36 on his English ACT hes just SO GOOD
· hes also a theatre kid lmao
· he does shakespearean theatre on top of his school theatre too
· “to be or not To Be”
· Hiccups not a huge English fan and he doesn’t rly like Shakespeare but he does rly like Oscar wilde
· Dorian gray is the Shit
· Fishlegs was so happy when he read it bc they could finally talk about LiTeRaRy ClAsSiCs!!!
· the trio met bc hiccup and cami’s parents own rival business companies
· both stoick and bertha are very Rich and Important
· hiccup and cami sometimes have to go to business dinners
· they fuck around
· that’s how they met
· hiccup bumped into cami replacing the soap in the hand dispenser in the men’s room with silly string
· he thought she was the coolest person ever
· she tried to fight him at first but they quickly united against the Evil Boring Dinners With Stupid Old Men
· they locked this one old racist dude in a bathroom stall once and sent fishlegs a video
· truly forces of chaos
· the forces of chaos were unfortunately grounded for that tho
· stoick is very busy and valhallarama travels a lot so they hang out at hiccup’s bc its usually empty (cami’s house is also kinda far)
· cami’s parents are divorced but her dad stops by occasionally
· fishlegs has a foster family and that’s how he wound up meeting hiccup was when he moved to be with his new family when they were in second grade
· hes rly grateful that hes been able to stay with them for a long ass time
· theyre actually pretty nice
· hiccup gets to come over for dinner
· snotlout is hiccup’s bitchy cousin whos a grade ahead of hiccup and fishlegs
· he eventually becomes nicer to them at the beginning of sophomore year
· some bad stuff happens (might write an angst fanfic idk lemme know (itll prolly be hiccup centric))
· basically, snotlout kinda realizes hes been a bitch
· hes sorry
· things get better
· until yknow
· gotta keep things sad cant get rid of all the emo
· but anyway snotlout does wind up becoming a good friend to the trio!! <3
· oh lmao when valhallarama came home for Christmas she thought hiccup was either dating cami or fishlegs and she didn’t know which one bc hiccup was so shy she just figured he was dating one of them and just didn’t tell her (theyre all like super close yknow)
· after seeing hiccup and cami holding hands (a RARE moment, it was bc they thought it would annoy snotlout bc he hates cami (it did)) she assumed it was cami
· she brought it up
· LMFAOOOO hiccup laughed for like 10 minutes
· She then immediately was like oh ok ur gay and its fishlegs
· that was even funnier
· “mom fishlegs is weird lmao” (he and fishlegs probably friendly roast each other a lot tbh. they definitely call each other “weirdo” “freak” “nerd” other possibly explicit words, its chill)
· Valhallarama is so confused
· she didn’t say it but “child u literally told me that u thought ur little cat that’s missing teeth is prolly from area 51, ur the weird one son”
· she asks stoick
· hes just as confused
· she drops the whole topic
· it has yet to occur to bertha
· fishlegs’ family is good as long as hes good theyre chill like that
· oh and cami’s school has uniforms
· yes, she does have to wear a skirt
· yes, several of them were shredded freshman year
· bertha is So Tired
#httyd#httyd books#httyd headcanon#httyd book headcanon#modern au#httyd book au#httyd au#httyd modern au p2#hiccup#camicazi#fishlegs#toothless#stoick#big bertha#valhallarama
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Girlsies hcs i can think of and worked on at 11-12 AM last night
fun fact before we start: Kathrine (Joesph’s daughter) actually died in 1884. Who knew?
Kathrine Pulitzer
Lesbian
Her favorite show is The End of the Fxxxing World
“I’m so gay for alyssa like wtf?”
“We know kath”
She and Spot are saltmates
“Hey, madison? Who sings that song?”
“Bruno Mars”
“Please let him sing it”
Legit when he’s doing hw
“Kath, stfu. I’m trying to think”
“Yeah i know i can see steam”
After Spot finally gets a bf
“Gross”
“I mean at least i can get someone but yeah, me too”
“ BL OCK ED”
Jack and Kathrine have dated before
She was confused
He was helping
Chaotic Good™
She fucking loves her siblings and they all accept her
“What a lovely day to be-”
“Gay”
All six of them say it at once
Her mom’s chill with it
Dad not so much
He doesn’t shame her
But he isn’t gonna try and force her to be straight cause honey he knows she’s deep into the gay hell hole
She wears buns constantly
Also when she doesn’t wear makeup she looks like a goddess
“Wow you should stop wearing makeup more often. I may actually go straight for once”
“Fuck off spot”
Whenever she and sarah finally get together
“well my saltmate and my best friend are together who would’ve figured.”
“Spot leave my lesbian ass alone you gay irish boy”
Cuddles
Kathrine is very loveable and anyone who says otherwise gets beat by the guys
Doesn’t matter how they get beaten
Just know these boys cherish their girls to death
Even if they’ve known them for an hour
“Wow ily to death tf”
Specs and Kathrine and the bestest friends ever okay
They have a treat yo self day
Whether it’s small or big
They will legit have a blast
Specs came out to her as pan after watching Deadpool
“Wow can you believe me a Deadpool have something in common?”
“What?”
“Being pan”
When she figured out she was the first person he came out to she felt amazing
She went home and told her mom everything about it
Her mom was pumped up for her daughter
Specs and Kathrine went to homecoming as friends together and left with their own dates
Specs and romeo
Kathrine and some chick named caitlin
Kathlin didn’t last too long
Turns out caitlin was moving
Theyre still great friends
ANYWAY
Specs told her about his crush on romeo
“He’s just so sweet and funny and ughhhhhhhh”
“I feel ya babe”
Then at homecoming they hooked up
Still together to this day
Kath loves their relationship
She calls them goals
Then in eleventh she got with Sarah
Theyre actually the oldest of the group
Her favorite artist is Dua Lipa
Why?
She’s a queen
Why else?
Shes in debate team
Also the school news
She wishes they had a newspaper but they wanted to be more “Advanced”
Also she knows whether she’ll win an arguement
She can just tell by the way the other person holds themselves
If she knows she lost she’ll nod her head respectfully and go on
She doesn’t let that get to her though
Her favorite subject is ela
Only really big musical she likes is DEH she hates the others
“Why watch some musical of the Heathers when there’s the original movie right here?”
Sarah Jacobs
Her fave subject is math
“Why are gays supposed to hate math?”
She and spot are besties
“I wish stars were out in the day too”
“You’re doing a lousy job as a lesbian if you don’t know girls already exist”
“Are you sure you’re gay?”
These two dated
It was because spot was confused
“Well this was fun, but i like guys more you’re the best love youuuuu”
She also dated jack
“Isn’t that awkward? Dating one brother then six months later go out with the other?”
“No”
“Jack you dumb fuck, haven’t you learned she has no shame don’t question my lesbian best friend and her logic”
She’s not too sure what she’s into honestly
Like holy shit guys are caring and their hands feel great
But like,,, girls are amazing
Spot just calls her a lesbo as a joke
Her fave youtuber is Macdoesit
“We worship queens in this household”
The jacobs’ already knew their first two kids were gay
They don’t care how any turn out as long as they finish school and live happy, healthy lives
They don’t have the time of day to tell them they’ll “go to hell” for being in love with whoever they want since they should be happy
That’s all that matters
“Hey mom, dad, i think i’m bi”
“Cool when you gonna bring a boy or girl over so we can meet them?”
Also after Sarah and Jack broke up Jack started dating Davey after dating another dude after Sarah (it was like two years later)
“isNt tHAt AwkWARd?? dAtiNg ONe sIBlinG tHEn Two YEars lATer Go oUT wITh tHe oTHer????”
“shUT UUUP”
Sarah knows the whole Bee Movie
She also has a shirt of the script
Doesn’t actually like musicals
“They just aren’t for me”
Prefers movies
True Neutral™
don’t get me wrong though
she worships Rent
“I thought you didn’t like musicals”
“leave me alone, Mimi’s coming”
allergic to animal fur actually
so she went all kim possible
“I have a hairless mole-rat”
“WHAT THE FUCK”
“Be nice to Rufus”
Chowder is her childhood
so is kim possible tbh
Smalls
She’s Medda’s only daughter
Everyone will fight for this kid
She’s actually younger than everyone else
She’s tough for an eighth grader
“YOU WANNA GO”
“Smalls calm tf down”
Favorite color is mint green
“It’s just so pleasing to the eye”
“So are boys”
“Race i didn’t ask for your commentary”
She wants to be in band but like,,, she only wants to play drums
Not the other percussion instruments
“Who wants to play those other lame instruments when there’s the drums?”
“Actually-”
“I DONT CARE DAVEY”
She listens very well actually
Also she remembers too many small details
“No one knows my middle name”
“It’s Aaron, what you talking about????”
She’s smart mouthed Delanceys’ a lot
They don’t do shit cause 1. That’s a kid and 2. That’s a girl
Their parents taught them better
Her favorite movie is shrek
“soMEBODY-”
“Smalls, please, it’s four. I need sl e ep”
Chaotic Neutral™
She’s attacked someone with a broom before
It was Jack
He jump scared her while she was sweeping the kitchen
Spot couldn’t breathe while medda and crutchie laughed along and checked if he was okay
Smalls laugh is a snort
“Who sounds like a pig?”
“Don’t call my sister a pig tf dude”
She’s not allowed to be around coffee
It doesn’t do anything really
She’ll throw the cup with the coffee still in to attack people if she’s angry enough though
I said she was chaotic neutral but i’m making her ass sound evil
She shares a room with crutchie
They have bunk beds
She’s top bunk
She hates that bunk but she understands why he’s bottom
She’s actually the youngest Medda ever adopted
When she adopted jack he was 15
Crutchie: 13
Spot: 16
Smalls: 10
She’s 13 now
She goes to her family for different things
Stories: Medda
Nightmare: Jack
Can’t sleep: Spot
Just wants cuddles: Crutchie
Theres different reasons behind these
For Medda she tells her stories about her exprience in theatre and Smalls finds them really nice since Medda’s voice is really soothing and she ususally falls asleep listening to her voice
When she was freaked out over a horror movie he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close and well she found it really nice, eventually falling asleep since it was warm there and she was freezing and she relaxed a lot too
When she first moved in she couldn’t sleep that night and went downstairs to get water and then Spot came down cause he couldn’t sleep either (it was 3 am) and he helped her reach a glass and he just let her crash with him for the night (she fell asleep quick)
When Smalls felt sick one night she went down and cuddled with Crutchie since she couldn’t sleep and she ended up falling asleep quickly like that
When her brothers friends spend the night she always tries to avoid the mess
But fails
One of her brothers will always drag her in
OKAY BUT WHEN HER BROTHERS GO OFF TO COLLEGE SHE IS SO HAPPY FOR THEM
When she goes off to college she goes to NYU for nursing
she’s confused too
“Okay so... guys are cute but like wow girls are too”
“We finally have someone attracted to girls”
“Mama’s a lesbian what are you talking about?”
#girlsies#smalls newsies#kathrine plumber#kathrine pulitzer#sarah jacobs#jack x sarah#jack x davey#javid#Newsies#newsies broadway#newsies 1992#spot conlon#specs newsies#romeo newsies#spromeo#crutchie morris#sarah x Kathrine#newsbians#sarah x spot
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Things ive witnessed in a performing arts highschool
this is pretty much a post about everything ive experienced at my art school which consists only of theatre kids, band kids, choir kids, dance kids so it is quite an experience. enjoy
•theatre kids rehearsing their lines, musical numbers, and dance routines in every class (especially in Biology for some reason??)
•theres always that ONE KID singing loudly during the lesson and its ALWAYS he one kid who cant sing
•people playing trombones and shit in the hallways?
•on the first day i saw a senior carrying a whole ass pineapple through the hallway
•no one can actually throw anything. if you throw a peice of paper into the trashcan and make it everyone will jump up to celebrate, including the teachers.
•if you can draw semi-well the teachers consider you a Rare Specimen for some reason or expect you to know the one other physical arts kid three grades above you
•”oh wow you can draw really well!!! do you know *enter name here*? theyre a senior and they can draw really well!” “sir im a freshman”
•theres that one teacher in every grade that everyone calls dad and it honestly baffles me. he’s started addressing all the students as his sons. I Dont Understand.
•spontaneous concerts from Jazz Band???? one time i walked out into the court yard and someone was out there with a cello and keyboard
•the kids in ballet being LOUD AS FUCK
•everyone plays ukulele. everyone.
•i once witnessed a junior throw a juicebox at another junior and they responded by yelling “IM GAY”
•speaking of, 60% of the school population is some form of LGBT
•GSA is insane
•constant screaming
thats all i can think of now. will keep updating this in the future!
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Do all the musical asks!
...anna if this is u trying to kill me im suing (and if its not thank you so much omg???)
Long post ahead!
wicked: first musical you ever listened to
I loved the hairspray movie as a kid!! I’d watch it over and over, and I made my parents listen to it in the car too.
phantom of the opera: the first musical you ever saw live
I think it was Annie at a local amphitheater. However my first legit show was Wicked!! That was a really fun day :D
les miserables: do you like to act in plays or musicals
MU! SIC! ALS!!! We do three plays and a musical a year at my high school and I try to be in all of them
be more chill: favorite modern musical
Heathers. Heathers is my all-time favorite show, no question. Theres just...something there that I haven't found in any other musical. The melodies are incredible, the lyrics are witty and fantastic, and damn if I don’t crie everytiem
guys and dolls: favorite modern musical set in the past
I love Dogfight!! It’s Pasek & Paul’s off-Broadway musical before Dear Evan Hansen. It’s really neat and has a lot of the cool clashing melodies that DEH does. also Pretty Funny is my go to audition song bc it makes people cry and Rose is #relatable
hamilton: top five musicals
Heathers, The Last Five Years, Dear Evan Hansen, Newsies, Book of Mormon
come from away: favorite actor/actress and why
Oh god y'all know I love m’boi Ben Platt but my favorite actor is probably Jeremy Jordan? His voice is just so nice and he could cut glass w his jawline probably. My favorite actress is kind of a tie between Laura Osnes and Anna Kendrick bc I’m super gay for both but they’re fantastic in very different ways?? I’d Die For Them.
dear evan hansen: have you ever cried listening to the cast recording of any musical? which one and why
fuck man I cried in the middle of class listening to Heathers for the first time. I cried listening to On My Own from Les Mis while watching to bootleg (and never finished it bc if i was bawling while she was still alive i was gonna pass out or some shit when she died) and yeah I might have cried happy tears every time we sang You Will Be Found during my class a few weeks ago.
(oh yeah and catch me sobbing ugly tears during RENT smh)
the great comet: which character from a musical is your fav and why
Veronica is my fave but also Evan is my fave and I just wanna hug em
(jk jk veronica could and would kick my ass and thats awesome, evan is just like me and I relate to him a lot not only bc of his circumstances but bc of how he approaches and reacts to problems)
amélie: movie or actual musical
actual musical pls bc I'm a NERD and I wanna see all the cool technical shit like lights and sets
falsettos: favorite ships from any musical
I highly ship jdonica, mcpricely, and boyf riends and u can't stop me bINCH
heathers: which character were you most mad about dying in a musical
EPONINE. I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN FINISH THE BOOTLEG I WAS SO UPSET. Angel’s death made me have to pause and sob my eyes out for twenty minutes (I cry a lot if you haven't guessed lmao)
the book of mormon: fav song from any musical
This is one of those questions thats impossible to answer bc I literally can't pick just one, but I can't get Carrying the Banner out of my damn head lately
in the heights: are you an in depth theatre kid who is great at singing and always gets good parts or are you the one who will supports and loves their good theatre friend or the one who wants to audition but can't sing at all and gets stage fright
I’m probably the more in depth theatre kid!! I’ve only recently started getting good roles just bc of circumstance (I grew up in a small town w no community theatre, and I just moved and the seniors had priority). I just got to be the Witch in our production of Into The Woods which was an absolute blast and the first time I ever got to be the last person to bow!! I intend to do theatre for the rest of my life and I’m just really lucky to be able to sing and act pretty well (thanks to lessons, those are important) tho my dancing needs some (read: a lot) of work
Thank u for indulging my oversharing ass anon~~
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