#the writers’ room really forgot half of the conflict of season 1

[seph-on-an-irrational-planet]

It’s actually kind of galling to have Jayce say Viktor’s ultimate problem was his own ableism rather than a genuine concern for workplace safety standards and environmental racism. Like are we seriously never going to address the toxic waste pumped into Zaun’s water and air from Piltoven factories and mines and how that caused worse health outcomes for the population for generations including Viktor’s own? Are we really saying that in a universe that diverged when Vi and Powder stole the crystals and never developed hextech, Zaun would’ve had clean, clear air and never would’ve pushed for nationhood?

Very silly but tbh what did I expect lmao

[thegreatestchange]

as soon as i finished s2 of arcane i knew i wanted to hear your takes on it. any opinions as to how they handled caitlyn’s arc, vi’s story, and the development of s2? i would love to hear anything you have to say about this season!!

also - the end of this season has me scouring Ao3 for some fics to fill the void. have you had any recent one shot or fic ideas now that the show has ended? i’ve been dying for a hurt/comfort and really soft sex type of story for cait and vi. maybe something where cait is taking care of vi after the events of 206? lord knows they could both use the comfort and vi deserves to be loved and taken care of. i know you would write that beautifully.

or if you have any recs for fics along those lines? 👀

as always, thanks for your incredible work both inside and outside of fandoms! love hearing from you! <3

Omg hiii! I appreciate that you care what I think haha!

Let me preface this by saying that the criticisms I have for the writing of s2 does not take away the love I have for this show and what it's done for animation as a medium.

Now, with that said...

S2 was a mess.

I said this on twitter, but I think the writers had a lot of ambition — too much ambition — for the amount of episodes they had to wrap this story up cohesively. This AMAZING show suffered because of corporate greed and not having enough time to flesh out character arcs and plots from s1. I think it started off promising. I was really excited to see how they would handle the Zaun/Piltover conflict, Vi's journey toward healing and forgiving herself for her past mistakes, Jinx's descent and then return as a hero, as well as Caitlyn's descent and redemption arc.

Instead we got... that.

There's one word that keeps twirling around in my head: commitment.

The writers lacked commitment (and a diverse writing room) to properly handle the Piltover/Zaun conflict. S1 had such a good starting point, whereas in S2 it's like they diverged from the path and forgot the finish line existed. Sitting Sevika at a table with her oppressors who will most likely tune her out and outvote her on everything is NOT a solution. Why not a complete overhaul of the council? Make it an even split? Instead it's the same people who never gave a fuck in the first place, and Sevika, who helped get half of the population of Zaun hooked on shimmer in the first place. Like what???

They failed to commit to Caitlyn's villain/dictator era. When episode 3 happened, I was skeptical about how they would handle it. And after watching the entire season, I had every right to feel that way. They make her so unapologetic and blasé about gassing Zaunites and letting Ambessa unlawfully arrest people. That's not my Cait from season 1. Does grief change people? Absolutely! But once it settles, you should be able to look back on what you've done and feel remorseful. Cait's lack of remorse was jarring. Her inability to apologize or outwardly own up to everything she did was OOC. You know what could've been the perfect moment for that? When Jayce gathered Piltover and Zaun in that room and she was standing right across from them. Why not have Sevika or Scar call her ass out and hold her feet to the fire? Lay out the facts of what her grief looked like to the innocent people of Zaun who had nothing to do with it? That would've been the perfect time for her to say something.

They failed to commit to Jinx and her story as a whole. At its core, this show was centered around two sisters growing up impoverished and oppressed, constantly separated, but always finding their way back to each other. Jinx is such a heartbreaking character used for trauma porn. Episode 6 fucked me up so badly but I THOUGHT it would lead to something big for her character. Like her stepping into this unwilling hero role and working with Ekko to lead Zaun into a better future like the one Ekko saw in episode 7. BUT LOL NOPE. Instead she's suicidal and self harming while her sister is fucking the oppressor in a prison cell. DA FUCK?

And lastly they failed Vi's character in every possible way. From putting on the badge in the first place to not exploring the depth of her character. She's basically a passenger in s2. Has no agency. Used as a punching bag (literally). And treated as an afterthought. I'm so pissed. There should've been a lot of conflict in act 1 between her and Cait. You mean to tell me Vi, who HATES enforcers. would willingly let her situationship gas her people? Fuck no. Absolutely not. It does not make sense, narratively speaking. Her ending did not make me hopeful. Even if Jinx is alive and moving on from Vi to "break the cycle" that does nothing for Vi's character. She is without family once again, and I fear it would lead to an unhealthy codependent relationship with Cait. Like she'll never be able to voice opposing thoughts or feelings without fear of Cait leaving her AGAIN.

As for the Caitvi relationship. This is tough. On one hand, I was happy to see a lesbian s*x scene in animation for an awarded television show. But on a heavier hand, it rings hollow after everything I've said. Much like the Piltover/Zaun story, Caitvi had a good starting point in season 1. I did have my issues with it because, as a Black woman, seeing someone oppressed get with a cop does nothing for me. But I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt because I believed the writers knew what they were doing. But I was wrong again. CaitVi is unfortunately one of the weakest points of S2. The writers did not COMMIT to their conflict. It's barely glossed over and then Caitlyn gets rewarded with s*x. And this is why I could never commit to them as a couple. At least not in canon. I liked them in s1 and the idea of what they could've been to each other in s2. And it looks like I'm going to have to find that elsewhere, unfortunately.

Overall, it all comes back to what I said in the beginning: lack of time, a diverse writing room, and corporate greed. I'm disappointed, but unfortunately not surprised. I hope the writers can learn from their mistakes moving forward.

As for fanfiction, I have actually not read any yet! So I don't have any recommendations for you. I need some for myself! I'll get back to you if I find any good ones.

Sorry for the lengthy post! I really just needed to get this all out and I feel so much better.

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Love, Victor Season 1

PSA: If you think that you might be gay, don’t get a girl emotionally invested! Please!

Ya know, at first when I thought about what I was going to write about this show, I thought that I should split the writings into the first half/last half of the show. Now I’m thinking “screw it”, if only because if I was going to go that route I should have stopped, parsed through my feelings about the first 5 episodes, and written those thoughts before proceeding with the next half. That, of course, did not happen, so to prevent the back half of the season’s events from miring the first half, I’ll just write about the whole shebang. There’s probably a joke about that word somewhere, I’ll try not to make it.

Anyways, let’s start by saying that on the whole, I really liked this show. It was not as good as Sex Education season 1, yet in my opinion waaaay better than HSMTMTS season 1. Most of the characters were likable and felt developed enough, it moved at a nice pace, and you can tell that a lot of heart went into this. Perhaps because we all watched this in a day, it felt like a 5 hour movie rather than a 10 episode tv show.

Additionally, I of course like the Latinx representation. The intersectionality of the Latinx community and the LGBTQ+ community has been presented on at least five TV shows to my knowledge: Ugly Betty, One Day at a Time, Diary of a Future President, The Baker and the Beauty, and now Love, Victor. Let’s keep it up!

As for the premise of the show itself, I *love* that this show acknowledges that Simon’s journey, at least at his house, was leaps and bounds easier than many other people’s. Victor’s parents are more conservative and religious, and they don’t have their shit together, so this is not the best environment to drop that bombshell in (which is why it was so incredible when Victor decides to do it anyway). Simon and Victor’s DM’s being a framing device for the show was a great way to tie the universe together.

The hook of Love, Simon was that you know all those cheesy and cliche rom-coms that straight people have gotten since the dawn of time? Well LGBT people deserve those stories too! Love, Victor is sort of presented with that same thesis in mind, which is why watching these episodes felt like different things I’ve seen before all over. The whole season ironically feels like Alex Strangelove: The TV Show, right down to the often cringy relationship with the girl, the openly gay love interest who conflicts our protagonist, and the goofball friend who chases after a girl who is seemingly out of his league.

Mia’s character felt a lot like Laila from All-American, being a black girl who is ordained as the hottest girl at school (which I feel like is a title only given in fictional schools), who also has a missing mother and problems with her rich dad. Pilar, on the other hand, feels like Casey from Atypical, in that she is openly rebellious in large part because of her mother’s infidelity.

Victor’s story this season sure was something to watch. The biggest question for me was, just how much sympathy should he be given? The world is inherently unfair to Victor. None of us should have to go through the agony and anxiety that so often comes with being in the closet and coming out. But for Victor to have visited those problems on Mia, who is going through things herself? That makes him pretty morally gray.

But he was still finding himself! But he loves Mia, just not like that! I get it, which is why he should have cut things off as soon as he got back from New York, no he should have cut things off when she asked him if there was “anything else” in her bedroom, no he should have cut things off when he literally felt like he and Benji were the only two people in the room at the concert, no he really shouldn’t have done this to begin with.

The line between Victor finding himself and him deceiving Mia is the conflict of the show, but the moment for me when I was like “Damn, Victor” was after he intentionally derailed Mia’s shebang-ing that she planned, he found the gall to lie to Benji and plan a seduction! That is why the season finale was so glorious. Because yes, while the world is unfair to Victor, he’s being unfair to the people around him.

I have made it a point not to read other people’s opinions extensively so as not to bias my own thoughts, but is Felix everybody else’s favorite? Felix’s character and arc was great. He was a supportive friend yet still felt like he had a story and stakes of his own, something which some TV shows get right (Sex Ed) and some TV shows get various shades of wrong (Jamie Johnson, Andi Mack). I like that he knew his worth and cut things off with Lake, and I like that she realized that her happiness with him should take priority over what others think of her.

I was soooo sympathetic to Mia. Her world is being turned upside down at home. Clearly, she has not even processed her mother being out of her life, and now her Dad is “replacing” her Mom while the baby is also “replacing” her! In Mia’s eyes, at least. Mia just needs to know that she is loved and appreciated. Which she *thought* of all people she’d be able to get from her boyfriend. Shucks.

As for the rest of Victor’s family, I also thought the parents’ storyline was pretty interesting yet unfortunate. Armando just can’t come around to trusting Isabel, which I actually kind of understand. Isabel, meanwhile, is being prevented from doing the thing she loves to do, which sucks especially because she’s in a radically new environment. Adrian is of course great, protect him at all costs. Pilar’s seemingly permanent mode of “angsty” is completely justified, as her friends back in TX are moving on just fine without her, she’s having trouble opening up and fitting in, and her family is WYLIN.

Some things that didn’t go so well for me was Andrew’s character, who feels like he’s just there to obstruct at any given moment. Y'all knew that when Victor and Benji were having that convo in the bathroom, someone was in the stall and someone was Andrew. Also, my guy, how are you not even somewhat aware that you are a total douchecanoe? I liked Benji, but Venji didn’t quite work for me because of all of the cheatation that it took to get there. Benji was pissed and ready to stay away from Victor permanently after the [attempted seduction], but once his relationship was over he was completely fine with putting his tongue down Mia’s boyfriend’s throat.

Overall, I really enjoyed this show. Some of these teen dramas I’m admittedly only watching for the LGBT content, so to have that be at the forefront of a show for once was amazing. The conflict was realistic if frustrating, and to me most of the characters seemed fully realized. Thankfully, the show didn’t even feel too “spin-offy” even with Nick Robinson being all over it.

In any given multi-season serialized show, the trajectory of the show goes one of two ways: the first season puts your feet on the ground of the series, and then later seasons go above and beyond with the storytelling (The Office, Breaking Bad, Bojack Horseman, Jamie Johnson) OR the first season is pretty great TV, and the following seasons fail to live up to its glory (The Good Place, Dear White People, really most every Netflix show ever). Which category Love, Victor ends up in is something to look forward to. Where do we go from here now that Victor is taking his first steps out of the closet?

Stray thoughts from the episodes:

The soundtrack on the whole, was not my cup of tea. I still liked a couple of songs, so that means somebody out there liked more of them.

I completely forgot Natasha Rothwell was in Love, Simon. More of her! More of Ali Wong! More of Beth Littleford! They were all great.

So Roger got his ass beat by Armando, and he still wants to get back with her?? Roger is reckless, man.

Speaking of reckless, Victor’s closet skills completely fell apart towards the end there. Assume somebody’s always watching!

Lake’s mother is a trip.

Good for the family for standing up to the grandparents.

Oh my god, Simon and Bram. Those guys are mine, and now they’re growing up and moving to the Big Gay City. They’ve come a long way.

Speaking of the Big Gay City, we were in Atlanta for a season and got *0* acknowledgement of the vibrant gay community there. More things to look forward to.

Was anybody else singing Selena along with Isabel? That is my favorite Selena song!

By rule of Felix being a male and Pilar being a female close in age, I immediately thought they were going to be a thing. The writers didn’t pull that thread too much...

That moment at the end there when we all thought Victor was going to hold off on his announcement only for him to go “fuck it” and say it anyways? And then he got to exhale? Perfect. chef’s kiss

What with June being Pride month, the SCOTUS ruling a couple of days ago, this entire show premiering today, and Delliot things going down in less than 24 hours, this will likely be the gayest week of the year. I suggest we all enjoy it.

Stay Peachy!

[blodreina-noumou]

question: how sexist do you think the show is? I used to think it used to be the height of feminism (I was a dumbass) but I want your opinion on what it does wrong, etc because as time goes on the way the narrative treats female characters is disturbing to say the least, at least to me

Be kind to yourself, anon - at one point, I do think this show was pretty good in terms of representing women in a diverse, positive way. While not “the height of feminism” (which is a tricky thing to pin down anyway,) the early seasons featured a range of women of all ages, abilities, races, and most sexual orientations. 

Back in 2014, when it premiered, I think it was actually doing pretty good work at not only featuring these female characters, but making sure that their storylines included agency and motivations that went beyond what the men in their lives wanted/needed.

But the show has slipped a lot since then. Not only have our standards lifted, but the writing itself has taken a serious dive, and season six was the lowest point so far, for me. If we look at the way the female characters’ motivations have changed from season to season, it’s clear that, at some point, the writers kind of forgot that these women have agency and conflicting motivations, and don’t just exist to prop up the missions of the men or children in their lives.

In s1 and s2, Clarke was all about making firm choices and sticking with them. She was motivated by the safety of her friends and the rest of The Hundred, and a general impulse to “do the right thing.” No one single person or role compelled her - she was flexible and realistically able to fit into leadership positions, rebellion stoking, and squad commander. Although she was backed into a corner, it still felt as though her choices were hers.

In s5 and s6, Clarke is a “mama bear” driven into a illogical frenzy at the thought of her adoptive daughter being put into any sort of danger whatsoever, despite that being a reality of the world when one actually has to interact with people. Her decisiveness becomes impulsiveness, and her motivations are drained of all their complexity. It just becomes “Madi, Madi, Madi,” with no room for anyone else, and even less room for flexibility. She’s one-note, now. By giving her exactly one motivation in her life, one singular person to focus all of her affection and need to protect on, she’s been stripped of all of her complexity and agency. This is made even worse by the fact that she spent half the season on ice, essentially dead to the world, while her body was inhabited by the most charming lil sociopath this show has ever seen - one Josephine Lightbourne. A character who should have been a refreshing return to that kind of complexity, but falls flat for her own reasons. 

In s6 we’re introduced to one of the most interesting characters in The 100 universe. A cunning, cutthroat, cold young woman with a cheery disposition and enough cleverness to kill a cat with a smile. Josie has been alive, on some level, for hundreds of years. She’s seen untold violence, and has become a greedy, selfish, cruel woman because of it. You would think that this kind of person’s return to life in this universe would’ve been earth-shattering - that she would’ve had some sort of epic, evil plan, motivated by the need to grab more and more power for herself. But what did Josie really, truly want in the end, more than anything? To reunite with her ex-boyfriend and body-snatch until the end of time, so she could stay with him, forever and ever. She was motivated, at the end of the day, purely by her romantic feelings for a man.

That’s disappointing to me. Especially because, in the latter half of the series, everyone’s motivations, but especially the women’s, end up coming down to one person - a person who is dependant on them for affection/comfort/softness/love, etc. Basically, everyone has now been hamstrung by their inability to focus on anything other than one person. And for each of the women, that’s often meant taking on the role of supportive girlfriend/mother, rather than having agency and goals of her own.

Other examples - Emori was a background character for most of season six, basically Harper Mcintyre’d, right up until her necessary betrayal of Josephine and Murphy becomes relevant to the plot. Echo was sidelined by her longterm romantic partner, ending up in serious danger, while he gallivanted off making googly eyes at his (old??) best friend, and this was treated as perfectly acceptable. Raven has been reduced to nagging shrew, and was also more or less set dressing until she become plot relevant to Madi’s story. Madi herself was the literal meat puppet of a creepy dude controlling her brain. Abby lived just long enough to make a meaningful sacrifice as a grandmother and then died. And so on.

I think that, as the series went on, and more and more characters and set dressings and crazy scenarios were added, the writers had to simplify character motivations and story arcs. If you just compare everything Raven went through and had to do in s2 (losing use of her leg; learning to use a brace; her romance with Wick; cracking the Mt Weather radios; figuring out how to stop the acid fog; watching her first love die; dealing with her grief; getting seriously wounded again at the end of the season, etc,) with what she had to do in s6 (work on a motorcycle; chastise Ryker for being a body-snatcher; watch Abby die; save Madi from Sheidheda) - it’s clear that the writers have shelved certain characters for the sake of others.

And what ate up the most time this season? The story of the Lightbournes, which is ultimately, yet again, a story about how a small group of people are solely motivated by protecting only each other, even if at the cost of everyone else. Specifically, Josephine is motivated by wanting to protect Gabriel from death forever, and her parents (particularly Russell) are motivated by making her happy, whatever the cost.

A cautionary tale for our OG heroes? Maybe, but it sure didn’t feel that way during the season.

The weird flipside of this is the way Bellamy and Russell existed purely for women in this season. Bellamy wanted nothing but to save Clarke, Russell wanted nothing but to save Josephine. But the difference is that, even within their singularly-focused motivations, Bellamy and Russell still had agency, and they both ended up making more decisions for the women in their lives than those women made for themselves. They moved the plot around the women, who simply had no choice but to react accordingly.

I think the show is trying to not be sexist, but in its current bloated state, it’s gotten really lazy, and the writers have lost sight of the complexity and characterization that made s1-s3 more impactful. I think JRoth and Co are probably bored with this universe - that’s why s6 was such an insane leap in tone, setting, and world-building.

And I think, like most human beings, they’ve allowed themselves to get comfortable with what they’ve already achieved. Unfortunately, the “good representation” aspect of this show has suffered a lot for it.

The short answer is: on a “how sexist” scale from 1-10, with 1 being “super sexist” and 10 being “not sexist at all” - we started at an 8, now we’re at about a 4. The show has done better. It will probably never do better again.

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x22 watching notes

I already miss Bobo

(sometimes I can still hear his voice)

It's 7:15 and I have yoga in a bit and the sun is shining directly on my screen where my cheap ass curtains don't meet but I am gonna start watching because what is flow and continuity in tone to these writers anyways. This is a "may as well rip the plaster off" sort of start.

Regular readers of my notes will know exactly how thrilled I was to have BL handling the big character driven everyone in the same room clusterfuck this episode promises to be and lil update: since then the promos have reassured me that nope they don't have tone or nuance and we're in for some quality characterisation.

This is a damage control set of notes, I assume.

-

Blah blah plot recap. They cut the conversation from 13x20 to just Sam n Dean talking about going into the apocalypse world, then "we'll die together" which I can't work out in this context (I'm hoping against hope the recap isn't dictated by BL and TJW is cobbling it together) is irony that Sam then went and died, alone, or a yet-to-come omen of the end of the season. At least BL are handing us over to Dabb for the end of season nonsense so I have to rely on him having a wacky emu war of 1932 hits the present day through Shenanigans sort of season 14 premise to build up and fling at us to make us forget all this.

-

I love Sam's "we're gonna drain you" speech layered over everyone dramatically walking into apocalypse world.

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Christ for half a sec I thought they were gonna recap Gabriel in Cas's crotch

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Did Lucifer only start calling Rowena "Red" when he was Vince or is that something I missed from season 11? Because hearing boring ass Lucifer say it just makes me miss when he was Vince.

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this is such a full recap of 13x21 I'm basically just writing fresh episode notes for it

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I don't think I saw anyone talk about how cool it was when Dean shot a vampire and exploded its head off. Like, understandably Sam was dead and it was a high-pressure situation but

-

ALSO Cas says "he's gone" and he sure as hell didn't mean "I can't find him" he meant "Sam's dead" but that euphemism landed Cas so much fandom flak for not looking for Sam I am starting to feel like he should have just said "I saw eight vampires chowing down on every part of him they could reach" and traded Dean's feelings for clarity.

...

I love that Cas has evolved as a character to the point he uses a gentle euphemism to spare Dean's feelings because there was once a harsher version of Cas that would have said that.

-

Are they going to recap the whole Lucifer conversation

-

I mean it means we can't judge Sam at all for what he did

-

HUGS

-

Mary's like holy shit he's really here, all shaky hands and scared to touch him. Good. She was criticised so much from the promo for not caring, I'm gonna gif that in extreme slow mo close up if I get even one (1) pissy anon about her

-

Dean hangs back, knowing that Sam walking in with Lucifer can NOT be good news, and asking "what happened" is basically already knowing what happened

Oh good we already have "I didn't watch the last episode despite the 40 minute recap" syndrome.

Just quickly to get us up to that point - Lucifer is playing all benevolent when Sam says "he brought me back" with the due horror of the situation. Cas, with Jack at his side, also glaring father-like-son, says "that's not what you do" in defiance of what Lucifer has done - good to call him out for his personality traits not matching his actions, e.g. there's always a catch and we know it, but to Jack if there is to be conflict, is in the face of Lucifer's actions and we're manufacturing that TFW judge Lucifer harsher than he deserves. Even when we know Lucifer said that he'd take Jack by force and Sam is pretty much protecting Jack to take this bargain.

Anyway. Cas asks "how did you get in here" perhaps in the assumption a: they're in a walled compound rather than open woodland with perimeter guards and b: that Gabriel didn't melt all the warding last episode meaning it's not even open woodland with perimeter guards and anti-angel warding, it's just a big ass open space that they strolled into. The implication in Cas's words is that it should have been much harder for Lucifer to show up, that this place is better defended, to the point of bafflement about that. It's a smaller thing, but it's irksome because I know BL don't read the other episodes because they've literally said it in interviews, which makes stray details stand out like a sore thumb, especially when characters sound stupider than they should - rephrasing this "why are you here" or "what's going on" would be a neutral way of asking without mis-characterising the situation or having it come across just... slightly odd. Just seems to be an implication that Lucifer didn't just stroll between the trees and through an open gate as his arrival and more specifically, that there were wards or barriers that could have done anything to stop him, and Cas is talking like it's inconcievable he got past them all - what all? :P

-

Lucifer says "VIP pass - I'm with the band!" which is extra hilarious that I was missing Vincifer a minute ago, because it's downgraded him from that rock god status he wanted, and now he's acting like the whiny groupie and Sam is the rockstar, TFW and family the band, and Lucifer is desperate to get in with them. Of course the Vincifer arc revealed that Lucifer never was a rock god, a year before he fails at actually being God for the exact same personality flaws, but at this point the acknowledgement is pretty much just for kicks and giggles because seeing him mocked amuses me. Seeing him have to admit there's a higher order he wants in with and TFW etc are more important than him and this is like, backhanded grovelling... yeah.

-

As soon as Lucifer redirects his attention to Jack, Dean comes storming in. Of course Sam is excluding himself from this conversation in raw shame and I can't even look at his face because it is the Worst(TM) but now we have Cas, Dean and Uncle Gabe defending Jack (BL politely not writing any Gabriel dialogue yet and every minute they don't is a minute I don't have a migraine so thanks guys, appreciate it.) and Dean sounds extremely protectively fatherly and Cas is also then weighing in with parental authority... Yeah, last episode Rowena said all 3 of them were Jack's fathers and it's a different dynamic from Claire but I like seeing Cas and Dean as a parent team and I won't apologise for that :P

But, again, Jack is only 7-8 months old with a still tuning moral compass, a teenager disposition, and Cas and Dean are making parental decrees about who he can talk to, and catching him in the middle of a fight over the right to have access to him without asking his opinion. It could possibly be more frustration over that than genuine desire to meet Lucifer that upsets Jack.

Because he's still like *SCOWL* at Lucifer, still being framed with Cas. Cas says he's "kelly kline's son" and I love that Cas continually reminds Lucifer that Jack had a mother too, and that for all her terrible writing in season 12 at the very least we established "human" and "generically nice and loving towards her baby" as traits to call on :P I like that Cas is determined to emphasise where Jack gets his personality from, and that Cas doesn't define Jack by his powers. But that is ignoring that Jack HAS powers and that does factor into his life in a... rather major way... especially as the way he's been flung around so far he's had so little time to develop a personality outside of having powers, except for Sam encouraging him to watch movies and TV to foster a shared taste before Dean could think to twist Jack to his cruel purpose and have another vote on movie night in his favour, so now it's Sam n Jack vs Dean n Cas and -

Anyway. I'm procrastinating.

Lucifer emphasising that he has powers, even if he gets carried away describing how ruthlessly he uses them, is a way of connecting with Jack that no one else dared, when in 13x06 all of TFW are just like, shit, when I had magic powers I unleashed Lucifer/went on a megalomaniac God rampage/hooked up with Crowley, and immediately all get too ashamed of themselves to sit Jack down and have The Talk so he freaked out and left and tl;dr that's how we're here.

Just, like, shit, show him all 3 Spiderman films where Uncle Ben tells Peter "with great power comes great responsibility", and you're set, guys. Sheesh.

-

"No. Kill him."

*Gabriel side-eye reaction shot with no dialogue but a fascinated amusehorror about what's going on*

I'm starting to get the feeling BL just plain forgot Gabriel was in this episode, but the rest of the peeps involved were like, uh, he's in this episode because where else would he be, so Speight just came to set like he was supposed to, and hung out in all the scenes as appropriate.

I will now watch and interpret this episode based on that fact.

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Sorry, Jack's going through a lot of conflict because Dean just point blank ordered him to melt his biological father on the spot, and I'm bitching about how someone forgot to add any pointers for Gabriel's existence into the script, not even in a character stan way, just in a sheer disbelief way, because of my horror of this being an episode with double digit named important characters in it and all in one location and being handled by the writers who can't even deal with Sam and Dean having distinct personalities in a scene with 3 characters half the time.

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Okay, Gabriel ad libbed a "Dean" in there. I'm assuming after like 3 minutes of contact he's quite chuffed to have a nephew and knows Dean can be too harsh so he was being protective.

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But yeah, of course it was Dean getting too angry about Lucifer (rightfully too angry, but still, emotionally mis-handling it) and making Jack disappear that sets this off, because Lucifer can just be a hub of chaos based on his reputation and act chill in the knowledge it will infuriate everyone around him into acting irrationally. Dean's been especially anxious and angry this recent year - and is building up to something awful perhaps if he is possessed by the end of the season - so it makes sense with his history of acting irrationally and being harsh on Jack from the start of the season that at the end he causes this.

Look, I'm complimenting character choices as much as being baffled by them, but what is clear is I need to be this in depth to have a chance in hell of grappling this episode >.>

-

Long shot where everyone just stands there in mute horror and Cas is the only one who looks around like he might see Jack hiding in a tree.

Remember back in 9x11 where I was like... did they just confirm he can see through walls... and literally no one ever replied to me about this hypothesis because it was too batshit? Well I am gonna have to assume that Cas looking around like that would only make sense if he can X-ray vision Jack hiding nearby >.>

-

Dean's like "He does that when he's scared. Way to go, dad!" despite the fact he was the one responsible for scaring Jack - I mean, Jack is probably FREAKED OUT about Lucifer showing up in general, but Dean's reaction is upsetting as well, especially when he's already emotionally in a bad place and now Dean is asking too much of him.

This episode is where all the stuff about fatherhood lands, and Jack is playing Dean and possibly Sam, while Sam, Dean, Cas and Lucifer are probably all playing shades of John Winchester.

It's a shame Lucifer changed his clothes because the Nick vessel was wearing up to a point always the same clothes that John had been wearing last time we saw JDM on screen, and that was a subtextual "brrr" about Lucifer in season 5 - that he was mirroring John in some ways.

We got enough parents here that they could literally all play, like, a seven deadly sin or something of John's.

Dean, of course, playing explosive anger. Sam seeming at the moment to play the part that shut down in horror and wasn't there for his boys and made all the bad choices for good reasons that exposed them to the bad stuff. Lucifer playing the abusive side that manipulates, uses as bait, and was in general dangerous - the John that Dean thinks of in 5x16 when not saying what he did when Sam ran away. Cas is playing the side that truly loved his boys, but saw their mother in them and there has been plenty of analysis of how this messed up the dynamic in any way from John withdrawing from Dean for reminding him too much to the parentification thing.

-

Gabriel is like, I'm not meant to be in this episode, so I'll just... go look for Jack... to explain why I was not in the following conversation.......

-

Lucifer drops the parent thing as soon as Jack is gone and switches to saying they "need" him to use against Michael, while bragging he "beat" him (good to know his ego and lying remains intact - the same boasting that got him in trouble with Heaven when he said he could make new angels and give them their wings back).

Cas immediately does the most #married thing I've ever seen him do to Dean - the "we're on a hike together and I want the trail mix in your bag honey so i'm just gonna open it up and get it out while we stand here" thing.

But with handcuffs.

Look, Dean n Cas are special and perfect in a way no one else can get on their level and sometimes it's because this is their dynamic.

-

Anyway Cas is being a BAMF to Lucifer and that is a good and important part of his characterisation this season.

Not Taking Shit!Castiel

or

as I call him

Party!Cas

-

I can literally see a manifestation of Jared that has left his body in distress, wrapped around Sam in a hug, as he's forced to casually ask Lucifer a question on screen that he didn't ask at any point on their hike down here but now the scene is about everyone else who was standing around watching (except Gabriel, who was never in this scene) so Sam gets to butt in with a question that literally anyone else would have been better suited to ask for both character and mechanical reasons.

-

Oh that "31 hours" thing was a total lie because of course Lucifer did no such thing. He knows the rift will probably close in either 24 from when it was opened or 24 from when he was punted through it, but that telling them a number that seems to add up that it's from then but plus an extra dose of grace, means they will let it close and they'll all be stuck here, and that's a tomorrow!Lucifer problem and in the mean time he can utterly fuck them over by thinking that they have a comfortable window to operate in. The countdown is meaningless, however. It all depends on if Rowena can strengthen and stabilise the portal on her end, and nothing else.

-

I love how the contracts are set up in such a way we got all the main stars, "And" Misha, and then we get all the guest stars, "And" Felicia Day. Also this episode is an over-stuffed mess.

-

RO RO

I didn't think she'd be in this episode, but we see her hard at work with... bagpipe music playing in her head/the Bunker's sound system? *shrugs, moves on* - anyway, either dramatic irony or Buckleming literally are working on the 31 hours thing depending on how much they read about other episodes. I hope dramatic irony. This is a dialogue-less insert so it's very possible TJW stuck it in to help.

-

"Are you good?" "I'm alive, yeah."

guys, you fuckers know "alive" ain't the same as "good" but in this case Sam's consequences for being alive are the chaos playing out with Lucifer and Jack so that's like... whatever, we can deal with it, so yeah he IS good, and no he doesn't have anything to apologise for, and in a way this is all fairly straightforward so yay!

Now hug

Oh shit, that never normally works

HUGS

\o/

-

"What are we gonna do about Lucifer?" "I'll handle it. I will, Dean. Let me handle it."

THE POWER OF HUGS. YOU RIDE THAT DOPAMINE RELEASE, YOU BRAVE BEAUTIFUL MOOSE

-

I feel like I spoke this episode into being by complaining "not enough hugs" as my tagline for last episode.

-

Anyway Sam is doing WELL because sure he is a guilt ridden bloodstained mess but he has inner strength and outer beauty so he can do this.

-

And Dean says "okay"

Which holy hell is a character growth of utter, sincere trust in Sam. Not that he wouldn't trust him because, you know, in some ways every moment of character growth is "we already covered this in the opening scene of 5x22 where we sat on the car and had a huge BM" because Kripke spitefully wrapped up the entire story pretty much to piss off every future showrunner when it came to deciding how to write Sam and Dean going forwards. But in the sense that Dean is trusting Sam not to turn this into a ridiculous tragedy again, perhaps. Since that BM was about Dean allowing Sam to die for the cause - as I've been following with Gabriel, I think there's a probable theme of learning to LIVE for the cause now, through a character whose main trait is to die to solve the cause and then run away and not deal with consequences, over and over. And Sam would embody it well to confront Lucifer with a desire to live and not to self-sacrifice, but to fix this so that their family can go home and have a belated pizza birthday party for Sam. FOR SAM.

You aspire to that pizza party, you magnificent moose. Get selfish. YOU DESERVE PIZZA. YOU'RE ALL INVITED

(Except Gabriel)

-

Nougat!

"Hi Jack, I'm your mom!" At the end of the season we're getting back to all the stuff that has been shoved down since the start. Jack has accumulated more parental figures than he knows what to do with and now he has to sort out how he feels about them, and how much each influences him.

Cas, his father who was supposed to be his guiding figure, the person he was searching for from the moment he stumbled naked and Bambi-like into our world (oh shit he's Bambi, shit. Stay away from Bobby!!) insists that he is most like Kelly, who only Cas can vouch for as a fellow person with a, like, personality, because hell knows if we or any of the other characters spent any time with her :P Cas is supposedly Jack's trustworthy rock, and his insistence that Jack is most influenced by Kelly rings true to the sympathetic audience who sees Jack as a nougat-centred boy. Named by his mother, of course.

"No one would blame you if one day you went looking for your dad" have they been holding this back since 13x23? I feel like this was all recorded then and they set up Jack's arc based around it. Because now he is flashing back to memories of Lucifer bound circa 12x13 or 12x15 when he was calling out to Jack in the womb (while dressed in those John Winchester duds). And in 13x09 they used this in a recap before the episode, and I was like this ain't the last we heard of it, and sure enough all the pressures that have been on Jack since before he was born are finally being addressed one way or another. Having held back the lines from Kelly - his Cas-approved moral beacon - telling him that there's nothing wrong with at least looking for your bio father no matter how much of a prick he may turn out to be - means that this is a pressure that's been on him since 13x03 and despite the fears in 13x09 that he was looking for Lucifer with this in the recap to remind us that Lucifer had been exerting his will on Jack since the womb... Now that Lucifer has found Jack, it's KELLY telling him that it's okay to at least be curious about him in a way that presumably resonates a lot with adopted kids who may have always known they had a terrible bio father but still felt curious/that pressure internally or externally to investigate their roots if only to find out who they themselves are...

I feel like this is an all the cards on the table moment, in any case - something Dabb set up about Jack which has been the secret behind the season, something only Jack knew up to this point, even from us the viewer, and we have been the most active participants in the story this season.

"Jack, don't let anyone tell you who you're supposed to be. You are who you choose to be."

Kelly has all the best words.

But yeah, this may not work well in the context that Lucifer has come seemingly in peace, Sam is hanging his head in shame, knowing the terms of Lucifer's non-violence are that Sam doesn't reveal that Lucifer was gonna storm in and steal Jack, and only making it easy for Lucifer to have access maintains his peace - that same peace in turn which sows the conflict simply by Lucifer existing there.

It plays into Lucifer's game that everyone who he has abused and or killed is there acting with justified rage at his presence, and telling Jack how to react to it based on their past experience. But Nougat is 7 months old and can not make these calls. Which means Kelly's words are now ones of conflict instead of the comfort that he's been choosing to be good and heroic like the real and fictional characters he wished to emulate.

-

Now we move on to Sam, the first living voice of comfort. "Maybe I'm not worth all this." "Your mom thought you were," Sam says, using her as a bridge from the parental authority (and he's also the one who brought her words to Jack). "So did Cas, so do I." It's building these steps of people Jack knows love him, the moral authorities he looks to, to Sam next. Sam's death worked so well last episode not just because of what it did to Dean, or even how the Lucifer thing was so wonderfully tuned both in Sam's personal arc to be in that room with him and the vampires, but also that Sam is the most hurt by and connected to Lucifer but he's the one walking him into the camp. But also that Sam was the one who reached out to Jack first of the living parents he encountered in life, and therefore caring for Sam and being upset by his death was such a horrible thing for Jack to experience, where we see his anger with Dean, Cas and Gabriel for not bringing Sam to him alive.

We get the montage where Jack's powers were in their early stage, harming people at random, and Sam empathised because of all he'd been through with his own powers. A connection that was so hugely imporant to both of them, that Sam could even start to guide Jack through who he was and how he was related to his powers, and feeling that he didn't belong.

Now we get Jack's mess up where they rushed in to Michael's place, and Kevin self-destructed everyone but him and Mary, and his connection to her - the grandmother sacred object to save and protect because she is Loved and Good and this is how all the men he knows relate to her. (I have talked about how Jack's represented accidentally ingrained toxic masculinity before >.>)

-

And the scene changes at this point, leaving us with Jack's reflection on not just his powers, but his own personality, and who he is supposed to be, whether it's his choice, his genetics, or just who he is in some intangible cursed way where he hurts people and all around him his choices lead to pain. And how much could Sam's guidance and trust help when even up to last week he was still getting people killed... Bleh.

-

Since it keeps on working... Someone hug that nougat child by the end of this ep?

-

Promo scene, now with context!

"Hey momma," Lucifer says, also defining Mary only by her relationship to her sons, and his own creepy interest in her.

She punches him because she is more than just momma

Cas continues to be a BAMF Party!Cas in the background but very in the background, hauling Lucifer away with a sharp word.

-

(Incidentally that means everyone from the opening was in this scene, except Gabriel, who they forgot to write into this episode.)

-

So this is post-shower Sam, and I'm gonna assume that he's either dressed in Bobby's clothes or dressed alike to Bobby, and either way it continues the Lazarus Rising parallels to Lucifer's creepy resurrection of Sam after he was dragged away underground after being torn apart in front of his brother - when Dean got back he wore Bobby's clothes for the first part of the episode. Finding Sam new clothes from AU!Bobby's wardrobe both puts him into this military camo jacket which almost certainly has some symbolic relevance at some point but at the very least is important for now that Sam's resolved to deal with Lucifer, and also just has the connection to Bobby.

-

Anyway now Mary has to break the news that she's planning to stay, after spending months defending and fighting for these people and very much getting embedded in the fight.

Dean looks on blankly, Sam shifts like he's realised what she's going to say as soon as she says "about that..."

-

And now we have that "need" thing again. Lucifer just said these people needed him to fight. Mary now says they need her too, for the same reason. One of them is probably a LIL MORE SINCERE than the other.

but Dean turns that into "we need you, mom. *WE* do." because she's the thing he needed the most, and this entire process is playing out now about how that even affects them.

And that "we" is sincere because the thing is, Dean might have learned a few times over that is sucks not to have Mary but as horrible as it is, he CAN cope without her but still hasn't been given a chance to fully actualise that in a healthy environment where Mary is not wildly endangered and dangled out of his reach for true character development (in much the same way his shit with Cas has been hovering on the edge since, like, season 8), but Sam - Sam needs her. Every time they lost a chance to find her, he slumped into utter despair. He only kept going as long as he did at the start of the season on the belief she could be retrieved and was alive, and his depression has been a strongly flagged thing since the midseason where he struggled with it bad enough he was having depression sleeps in 13x11, and 13x14 showed how bad it was, and his despair and desperation have been oozing off him.

Dean knows how much they need to bring Mary and Jack back, for SAM.

(Which is why I think there's something horribly disingenous about thinking Mary can just be written off to stay in the AU... Which is fine if you don't like Mary and don't think to look at it through the POV of how her being alive-ness has been wrecking Sam for TWO SEASONS now and taking her away again to teach Dean a lesson he's been through three times already (one of them being the entire run of the show 1-11) about how to lose his mother, just hurts Sam an incredible amount. He deserves that fucking pizza party, and he wants his mother to be more than a mirage that an alarm clock can shatter. And sure the story may not grant this wish instantly, but it's dreadful to want her gone for good because that will harm Sam on a MOLECULAR LEVEL to have an alive and well Mary teased in front of him but never to have her. We need to hold on to her returning in some solid way so that she can throw him a damn birthday party)

-

Ew, Lucifer calls Cas "old sport" fuck off with that, Gatsby.

"I am not your sport" he may misinterpret the reference (come the fuck on, Metatron must have read that book) but he does it in a way that at least gets in a sharp statement of party!Cas's new line of taking no shit.

But before he can decree for certain that he will not let Lucifer near Jack, refusing to accept Sam's deal without even really knowing that this WAS the deal, Jack shows up because he's at the very least taking some agency in all this.

And at this point, my nervous eyeballing of the clock suggests it is time I go to yoga. D:

-

I hope Gabriel shows up at some point again. The fact that he was gone looking for Jack but Jack has now been "found" by turning up voluntarily means that Gabriel vanished completely pointlessly unless they were just moving him out of the way because he's not in this episode :P

-

"Speak of the not-Devil" - in 13x09 they played on this with a "speak of the devil" preceding Jack's entrance. As usual, Buckleming taking a clever line someone else used, and turning it around in a way that's just a bit too silly and contrived >.>

-

"Son." "it's Jack."

Good. Please keep Lucifer at that arms' length. Regret will only come if you let him in >.>

-

"It's not a good idea to talk to him." "i'm not going to talk, I'm going to listen"

Sweetie, that's even worse. I know you're curious but oh boy Lucifer is evil, unredeemable and a master manipulator. I know what Jack means - he's not opening a dialogue, he just wants to hear what Lucifer would say to him, and not talking indicates hearing him out without weighing his words with any critical weight, but on the other hand, it can come across that he's going to sit and let Lucifer fill his head with whatever, without arguing or reasoning what he says, and it depends on how much you think Jack can resist being taken in by it

And in this scenario Lucifer's smugness and everyone else's horror of the situation already has a strong weight. We can HOPE that Jack prevails but I'm nervous that Lucifer might exert some magical influence over him as much as I feel like a season worth of Jack nearly is enough to make me feel like we are supposed to trust his instinct to be good, unaltered. If there is to be tension about it, that has to be affected.

-

Oh dear, now Dean's ranting to Mary about what he and Sam have been through, saying "we" about every statement, including "we've been possessed" but isn't it true that almost nothing has ever possessed Dean except a few small MotW moments of control? We statements possibly creating a dramatic irony gap to fill with Dean being possessed, if he is.

He says they never walk away ever, even when they should have, which is acknowledging at least that there were times when with hindsight they should have left each other well enough alone. Thing is he's talking about how he and Sam clung to each other when it was just them, but for Mary it's not about walking away from family here, it's about walking away from this war where people are being killed and she has been helping them to save people and to fight back against the angels. To her, leaving now just because there's a door back to her old universe - which she has felt adrift in ever since she was resurrected - is walking away. And this is a cause she can believe in far more than the bad cause she got in with the BMoL. There's a very very clear right and wrong here.

Dean is trying to argue that this isn't a fight that they can win, that Apocalypse World is doomed, and they're just going to have to leave it to its fate.

-

Sam is inclined to listen to Mary more often anyways, went with her on the BMoL thing, and this time reads it as her making up her mind, rather than her being right - he is telling Dean the argument is not worth it, rather than immediately that he understands where Mary is coming from. More than he has seen how Mary feels. I hope he says they should stay and help.

"Mom doesn't to leave these people."

...

"So let's take them with us."

-

I mean. I guess it works???

You just going to empty all the survivors of this war into another universe???

This feels... unsustainable.

-

Oh okay he wants to get them out the way long enough to work out how to fight Michael, then to come back and fight the fight. More like, the portal is the time pressure here, and on the other side of it is safety and resources and time to think.

Except for everyone who they can't take with them in the first place.

This episode is titled "Exodus" so I mean it COULD end up being about this exact thing, or that's referring to some other thing and this is just a concept they're floating but not what ends up happening. If they set off with the entire camp, they're going to be very vulnerable.

-

Anyway seems Mary likes the plan?

And she looks proud of Sam so that's something.

-

Dean says they've got 9 busting out. Uh, were they planning on taking AU Charlie and Bobby back with them? I am genuinely confused because the core team is 6, and they should PROBABLY not litter the AU and take Lucifer back with them so 7... Maybe Ketch if they take back everyone from their world who shouldn't be there? But who is 9??

-

Mary says 25 people which is not like... a whole army at least. I'm legit confused about the numbers, especially as it seems like more than 25 people at the camp, never mind that Mary was talking in 13x20 about how many people they had to look after now. I don't know, maybe it's just how many extras they could convince to come/plausibly film. But it's weird to me that this whole thing is... well, a thing.

-

Okay so Jack is all resolutely glaring at Lucifer, and Cas is allowed to hang out and stand there watching, so I guess this is ... something at least between them.

-

Mrghhh I hate Buckleming dialogue so much especially when Lucifer is saying it. Starting with "I don't know what to say" is admitting writing weakness, that they didn't have a hook or enough sense of the characters for them to come up with any declaration or question or comment that would have been more meaningful. Even just a sense of drama to have Lucifer introduce himself and Jack to immediately ask his first question.

"Why does everyone hate you?"

Because you SUCK

Also: apparently no one wants to tell Jack in graphic detail all the pain and suffering that Lucifer has inflicted to them personally >.>

And then, Lucifer said, yeah we've been waiting for this moment all season in a way, but not only is his blathering on but then when asked a hard question, it turns into an excuse to make him say "fake news" and sure the comparing him to Trump thing is funny a few times (I mean he was literally possessing a president when Jack was conceived) but it's taking tension out of this moment entirely. This should be for Jack, and he doesn't deserve this awful writing where nothing Lucifer says matters, because he's just rambling on in generalities and answers which sound like all the moaning he's ever moaned about.

Like, yeah, sorry kiddo, your bio dad is a whining whiner who has had the same line about how misunderstood he is as long as we've known him, which he usually says when standing on a literal pile of corpses he made while complaining no one gets him and everyone typecasts him as evil.

But yeah, Jack's question is just met with rubbish being spewed, instead of Lucifer even trying to explain the misunderstandings he's had personally with TFW

-

He's just talking about how humans suck and are easily led into temptation instead of focussing on why he feels the need to do that.

-

Oh him talking about Kelly to Jack is absolutely revolting. I'm confiscating the nougat child and BL can have him back when they earn him.

Thank goodness Cas is here to scowl at Lucifer for us.

"That's a vast over-simplification" thanks buddy.

But yeah he's right, the point is that Lucifer is talking in ways where he can rabbit on about ethics and shit without falling into real human pain. He doesn't talk about how his betrayed Kelly's trust, tried to kill her, or sent a minion to harass her while calling her the container. He talks about how awesome it was to kiss her. (And not even getting into him cheerfully talking about losing his virginity to Kelly like it was some sweet first love thing rather than rape by deception and some new gross evil he had discovered was a horrible thing to do to people.)

-

Also, fuck Buckleming for pretending they can stump Cas with "I was locked up for eternity so how did I do all this evil?" we literally have seen how. It's called the plot of the fucking show.

It's ethics as angels would learn it 101.

WE FUCKING MET GADREEL A FEW YEARS AGO, MAYBE ASK HIM

-

Cain who?

-

AZAZEL? You fuckers killed the last YED like 4 weeks ago

-

Fuck you entirely

-

That is in ratio of intelligence and easy answer on hand to presented moment, the biggest stupidity drop they've ever made. And that's saying something.

-

Somewhere Edlund is clutching his head and he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel so good.

-

ABBADON?

-

So, there's this place called "hell"...

-

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmrgghghhghghgfghfgghfhaskjfhaskjghfsjlasdjaghfs paskfh;asdgkflsdjg sgkjhlfk gha

-

Well, the zen from yoga lasted all of like 4 minutes of episode

-

Anyway now we have to deal with Lucifer's hurr blurr about waaah God locked me up because I stood up for myself and told the truth, which, again. One note character. He met Chuck and didn't even change. Rowena got more character development out of meeting Chuck than Lucifer did. Heck, I think even Cas got a little personal satisfaction just from ignoring him and finding a clearer sense that his path doesn't lie with God's validation.

And then he starts talking about how garbage humans are and we get Cas's reaction because Cas loves humanity, and Lucifer is like "he loved humans so much he couldn't see their flaws" and Cas is like excuse you I tell Dean to get his muddy boots off the chairs in the Bunker like six times a day but I still fucking married him."

-

But telling Jack how humans suck is not, like, the best path, because Jack has spent a lot of time bonding with humans.

-

"I had my reasons, I just want the opportunity to get better" dude, you are so the abusive fuckwad of a drunk father who comes stumbling in late to the kid's life, promising to do better while in no way capable of it because mean and selfish person...

-

Jack's micro nod to wanting to do better shows that despite every indication that this was one of the worst written conversations ever, Lucifer has somehow manipulated him with this nugget that Jack feels like he wants to be a good person and Lucifer's promise he wants to be a better person is affecting him, and A: Alex is a great actor to try and sell this and B: honestly Jack falling for that garbage rant is like... the second biggest stupidity drop ever >.>

-

Cas is like, fuck this entire concept you fucking fuckers, I'm out of here to go sit with Gabriel wherever he is. We're gonna... go skip rocks.

-

Nope, Cas went for emotional back up, seeing that Jack was starting to be suckered in by this and decided he needed Sam, Dean and Mary to come Winchester some sense into Jack

-

Uncle Gabriel is having a great side adventure

He is probably doing the equivalent of End!Cas in this camp.

-

Ew they're sitting together, just chilling ew ew ew ew ew

Lucifer going on about how Jack's grandfather is literally God, trying to stir a little egomania in Jack.

Remember in 13x07 when he was so excited to know if Jack killed anyone? If he had a killer instinct?

-

Yay Dean comes to shout at Jack and Lucifer, I have never been happier to tick the Everyone Is Irrationally Angry BL Bingo Square.

-

"Dean, he's in chains." "His mouth isn't."

That's the good side of Buckleming banter. Have we swapped writers?

-

"I need to know about my powers. My family." "Jack, we are your family."

Oh no, Cas is starting to sound a bit desperate. Pleading with Jack to remember he's their family. I don't wike it *hands Cas a blanket*

-

Sam showing up like, "You have no idea who Lucifer really is"

Like, I know it's horrible but could you go into graphic detail right about now?

Or... is he still bound by the promise to let Lucifer see Jack?

-

"Jack..." "Dean! He's my father!"

Aaaaack, so there's the slip from 13x01 where we thought he meant Lucifer but it was actually Cas, and 13x09 where he disowns Lucifer casually and talks about how they're his real family instead...

Oh ew I paused the screen on Lucifer looking all smug, hang on

Anyway, yeah. This is the first time Jack has proclaimed that, and I think this is revealing the greatest miscommunication this season - something we picked out a while back, in the first few episodes, about how everyone was so unwilling to tell Jack just how horrible Lucifer even was. I mean. I don't think he even knows for sure that he's the reason why Cas was dead? And does he know how Sam was destroyed by having powers BECAUSE he was raised to be Lucifer's vessel? And - even basic info like this, if not the murder and torture in his wake...

Without telling Jack the harsh truth, he's vulnerable to falling prey to Lucifer's manipulations, because for him, new to the world, it's just not a given that Lucifer is evil. Even "speak of the devil" is ironic, because they DON'T speak about him, and so that phrase is meaningless to Jack because it doesn't describe anything about evilness.

And I think this goes back in a way to the theme of confronting trauma, that TFW just do not talk about what has hurt them, aren't open when they ARE hurting, at least until it's too late, and so the damage that Lucifer has done to them, even when he can taunt he's in a room full of all his favourites to kill and torture, when he's killed Rowena twice, tried to kill Gabriel and Dean, and caused the worst suffering to Sam, they just aren't a Lucifer damage support group >.> And all season they never told Jack a full story about who they were, what they've done, and what has happened to them along the way...

-

Anyway I guess Edoras is moving to Helm's Deep now?

-

Ew Jack and Lucifer are walking together

I can't even see Cas in shot so I'm gonna assume he's bringing up the rear with Uncle Gabriel

-

I mean

I hope someone friggin told Gabriel they were leaving. He's gonna pop back to camp in half an hour like, so I looked everywhere and I could not find - waaait a minute. Where is everyone? Are we playing hide and seek? Sexy hide and seek? .... Nope, I've just been forgotten.

I'm not in this episode, am I?

-

Anyway Dean sends Sam back to lurk on the Jack and Lucifer conversation

Which leaves Mary and Dean free to chat!

Dean is like, I am listening but I am also sulking. About everything. Mary starts explaining that Nougat is getting hardened by war, having been fighting and losing people. Turning into one of them, a scarred, miserable Winchester.

I love that Mary is defending Jack, that she has spent so much time with him - more than anyone else - that she is the sympathetic character towards Jack. He's not an object to obtain to her, he's very much a kid who has landed in it and is doing his best.

And, of course, a surrogate for the sons she never got to know growing up, when they were being fucked up in the exact same way Jack is currently being fucked up, which means, hopefully, she will learn to relate to them better through seeing what Jack goes through??

And cut to Jack telling Sam that he was telling his father that together they can take down Michael. Which... Isn't super reassuring tbh, if you flip it to season 5 where Lucifer getting a surefire powerful boost like a Nougat to help him take out Michael would have been dooooooom and that is why they sent Jesse on a surfing holiday in Australia.

-

This also means Sam has to walk alongside Lucifer and Jack all chill and like... we're on a walk together

-

Ooops and Sam is like, but that's not the plan, and Jack is like, hi, while you were gone I fixated on killing my AU!Uncle Mikey.

-

Again, Mary reasons that Jack's interest in Lucifer is not unexpected, based on curiosity, and Dean complains about the threat that Lucifer corrupts him. Mary sounds both confident in Jack not being evil that it seems a little laughable to her, and also that Jack will soon see Lucifer's true nature.

And honestly, this is the longest Lucifer has held it together possibly EVER without doing something petty. Maybe just because with the handcuffs on he can't get irritated and melt people who are annoying him. I'm not sure how much restraint he has left not to say something wildly wrong. Like a homophobic relative at a family dinner with all your nice gay family, and you know Some Shit will leave their mouth sooner or later, even though they're playing it nice and got a pride pin before they knocked on the door.

-

Mary is proud of her big gay family

-

sorry that metaphor wandered off

-

not sorry.

-

Hi Cas, love it when you *gestures him walking innocuously around a corner*

"Hey, did you find him?"

"No, Gabriel isn't in this episode for some reason. I think BL have a restraining order?"

-

LOL here he is! RUN LIL GUY RUN!

"ANGELS!"

-

Aw no, the handcuffs. They were Dean n Cas's personal ones.

-

blah blah joke about impotence, Lucifer got to melt some things so he might be able to stay chill for a while longer having scratched the itch to murder...

-

I just took a lil break to complain to Mittens about the geography, she assured me Singer Salvage Yard isn't in South Dakota in the AU, and I'm just like... debating whether I think this is better or worse. it's a headache, for sure

-

Hi AU!Bobby! They immediately discuss how Bobby decided not to put his salvage yard in Sioux Falls because the weather sucks, and I am sitting here wondering if TJW looked at the script and was like... there's no Gabriel... they WALKED from Ohio to Bobby's on the way to Kentucky... I -

-

Why do they always give me their scripts to un-fuck?

-

AU Bobby makes me miss Bobby while simultaneously filling the void not having Bobby puts in me and I feel weird

He's telling them their idea sucks in colourful language and it's like oh I am home, but at the same time... it's not in Sioux Falls

-

Dean automatically protective of Charlie when Ketch is around and again, the weirdest feeling that Ketch killed Charlie hits me, but he still didn't and it's still just because BL like him so much they've made him their new toy.

-

Bleh more Jack and Lucifer

He's now explaining the archangels to Jack. Mansplaining, in fact, since Jack already knows.

it seems this was just a way to say they were both tortured by Michael in order to bond some more

Lucifer forces Jack to do a high five and Jack is baffled

-

"That's your Uncle Gabe" *points at him throwing rocks at a car* Jesus christ he's literally... off throwing rocks... I was kidding when I said he was off doing it earlier... I was kidding... holy shit they literally forgot to write Gabriel into this episode.... in the script it was "then there's your uncle gabe" without pointing, just, in the abstract, like, yeah, he exists, and Jack is like yeah I sort of noticed him existing. And then they both pause. Funny, that. Gabriel existing. Anyway - and they move on?

-

Woah, no, they're actually going to talk to him.

Hey, Gabriel, did you know you're in this episode?

His expression says, wow, no I did not. But now I hear them coming over, I need to Deal With This Shit

-

Lucifer describes him as "class clown" which is automatically reducing him back down to the Trickster, and of course he's said tricks are for kids and is trying to be all mature and the new version of Gabriel.

-

I hope new and improved Uncle Gabriel tells Jack what's what, even if it's just with eyebrows and pointed looks

-

"And you're an ass clown"

That works.

-

Oh ew, Lucifer immediately pulls Gabriel's torture on him as a hey how are you lol that was funny when you were tortured and metaphorically raped for 7 years huh?

Jack, again, seems to lack the context of what happened to Gabriel, the state they found him in, all the stuff we've seen on screen, so the dramatic irony of what we know vs what Jack knows...

Also how does Lucifer even know?

-

Oh whatever.

-

Gabriel has no time for this, and turns to walk off, like, fine, I didn't even want to be in your stupid episode anyway. Lucifer follows, Jack walking along beside him, eyebrows furrowed.

-

Gabriel has a headache at Lucifer rambling on (and they've literally just forgotten about Raphael. Wonderful.) Anyway, super relatable.

Here he goes. "You think Dad was a bad guy and you were a victim?" Well Scout will be happy, Gabriel standing up for the ole God n Gabe relationship. I mean, much as it sucks, Gabriel still has a connection with Chuck that no one else does, just in personality.

"That was just your excuse." "For what?" "For it all, Lucifer! For it all!"

Thank fucking God for Gabriel. He wasn't even meant to be here so he's like the one person who can call Lucifer out, from outside the narrative, fed up of this whole stupid charade.

Gabriel is not a Buckleming character, he's here because he deigned to be, and he will leave on his terms too.

-

(I've legit been having issues that I keep thinking Speight-directed episodes are Gabriel episodes, and at this point he's such a meta character to me I literally think he's transcended the story)

-

Nice of him to walk off screen with both middle fingers raised.

-

Oh my GOD how stupid was that trap that Charlie just fell for?

My unspoken comment from earlier that the dumbest drop in intelligence Buckleming ever inflicted on a character was Charlie's death feels like I should have said it, because making her fall for that dumbass trap was just... wow.

-

Wow.

-

Blah blah manufactued drama, Ketch has stubble now, apparently a conscience about not letting Charlie get killed because Dean was once attached to his world's version of her

-

Goddd I am with Andy the sceptic about their fairytale world where everything is pretty. They don't want to abandon the fight, and like, there's a sizeable chance Dean and Sam just wanna shove Mary through a portal with them and call it a day.

Why are we getting this when we could be getting Sam and Dean learning from Mary how they need to fight for this cause against Michael? Whyyyyyyy. This whole plan is so stupid.

I mean, it wouldn't be wholly stupid for Sam to pop back through the rift, grab all the weapons he's promising, and come back to arm them, in their world, on their turf, somewhere defensible from angels.

Like, even the odds a bit so they can finish this fight so they can take Mary and Jack home and stop stressing about this

-

Now Sam's making his Inspiring Speech of the season, about how even if they aren't people from the AU and were never born there, all these masses of people fighting back are still like them and represent what they do. Like, how all the random hikers you might meet know vampire lore these days. Everyone's a hunter in these times.

-

Andy narrows his eyes

-

cut to: Ketch being tortured and using American monopoly references to fuck with the angels.

he is presumably secretly American, because there's no way he'd casually think of American locations on the board unless he coincidentally grew up with an American monopoly board for some reason

-

While complaining about this Mittens reminded me that Metatron made a reference to always winning by building hotels on the expensive square and that gives us an indirect connection between the two of them for some reason.

-

Ooooooooh the exterior reveals they're being tortured in the creepy Gas n Sip.

Well. I wonder who is about to show up

-

Twitchy!Castiel

-

Who inexplicably looks 10 years younger than our Cas.

Dean really did a fucking number on him.

-

Anyways of course Castiel is the expert... He's terrifying when he gets going, and this one hasn't been Dean'd.

-

Our Cas seems to be doing some scary manhandling on this guy

-

And some really scary looming

-

Uhoh

-

And that was with one lil look from Dean, like, go on, babe, read his mind and do what you do

-

No, apparently he wasn't even reading the guy's mind, he was just hurting him

-

Lucifer's whining, in the least breaking news to ever break.

Gabriel's like, Dean told us to stay behind, because I'm not in this episode, so I have to babysit your dumb ass before you say anything else stupid to my nephew.

-

"Do you see any version of this where he sticks by you?"

I mean that's probably what's stressing Lucifer out, knowing he has nothing to offer as a father. Gabriel is kind of enjoying it. And sitting watching Lucifer from a distance, where he can mock him. Again, he seems weirdly out of the story, the one person who isn't affected by all the bullshit and somehow has this glossy shine on him, un-Buckleming'd even as the empire crumbles around him.

It's like... he doesn't feel a part of all this because he's seeing clearly and calling out Lucifer in real time instead of standing dumbly while Lucifer poses questions to prove he's good that only a 7 month old babyman would fall for.

-

"He's a kid.  He likes shiny objects and magic tricks."

:')

"But he's not like you. You can see it in his eyes." YUPPERS. He has Cas's eyes.

his father's eyes

-

(Thinking of which, I had to go back because my video went a bit wonky... am I right in thinking AU!Castiel has a bad eye? That's not meta interesting at aaall)

-

Gabriel mentions his mother's bloodline, the Winchesters' influence... is Cas included in that?

-

"He'll see who - what - you are."

"I've changed."

"Dude. It's me. I've known you since the stars were made. You can't change. You're incapable of empathy, love. You live to be worshipped! Or feared! Or both!"

And now Gabriel is calling out that Lucifer says that God made up all the lies about him, which has been his fallback for literally ever about how woe is me misunderstood God was so meeeean

It's like Gabriel and Lucifer were having that argument back in 5x19 and then Lucifer killed Gabriel and then 7 years passed and now they're alone together again and they just pick up where they left off.

Gabriel praising how humans are innocent and beautiful has weird overtones of how protective Dean was of the Scooby Gang and I think that is adorable.

-

Gabriel is officially tearing Lucifer a new one after dropping by to be in the episode and I am gonna stan this fucker forever.

-

LOL he made Lucifer cry

-

God, I mean I am never ever going to feel sympathetic to Lucifer, but if Gabriel helps him like, sacrifice himself for Jack later at some point, I'm cool with that.

-

AAAH AU CASTIEL IS THE WORST. I HATE IT. MISHA, NO

-

Nice coat though.

In a horrifying way.

They did, however, find a coat that actually makes Misha's shoulders look huge in a sexy way

-

you can hear the Cas voice in there, but it's so messed up.

-

This guy is BFFs with Bartholomew I bet.

-

okay I'm rewinding and actually trying to pay attention to wtf he's saying.

-

It's so messed up that he's in a Gas n Sip. It's like showing how broken his soul is. And the fact his soul is a Gas n Sip absolutely murders me

-

Also AU Castiel doesn't have a soul, probably, unlike our Cas

-

He's mirroring Dick Frigging Roman while eyeing up Charlie and telling her there aren't many like her.

-

Castiel mirroring Dick in a Gas n Sip is how to cram in the most awfulness you possibly could to show a ruined version of Cas.

-

He's parting his hair on the other side.

-

It seems Castiel pretty much has destroyed himself by psychically harming humans.

Can we rewind so our Cas stops torturing that other guy so that he doesn't remotely turn into this guy?

-

OH NO, I was gonna ask where Jack was back in the previous scene but it seems he's flapped off to deal with this before I could ask him where he was.

Now he's gonna meet Worst!Castiel

-

Meanwhile: stabby stabby, the rest of the Winchesters are here. Never mind, Cas got the intel from that other guy. Jack isn't going rogue :P

-

I hope party!Cas doesn't meet worst!Castiel

-

Party!Cas is beating up Worst!Castiel

-

"More than one of us. Fascinating." "I've gotten used to it."

Party!Cas is basically just a bundle of one-liners in a trenchcoat.

-

LOL Dean freeing Ketch but will we ever be free of Dean x Ketch nonsense?

-

Sam randomly hugs AU Charlie because he hasn't got over the guilt of getting our Charlie killed, and can't separate the two on instint of seeing her face again and this is awful.

When I said more hugs I meant more NICE hugs

"Sorry"

She punches him in a hey it's cool we all freak out sometimes

-

Oh jesus christ after the saving hanging Ketch by getting all up in his space, now I turn out to have had the screen paused on Ketch and Dean getting all cosy and looking at each other in alarming proximity

"oooh... hello. You saving me? It's about bloody time."

Dean looks furious

good.

-

"You aligned yourself to humans?" "I *vastly* prefer them to angels"

Love you too, babe

"Don't think you are better than me. We are the same." "Yes. We are." *STAB*

Bye bye worst!Castiel

Man, I never thought I'd be glad to see Cas die, but that was satisfying watching Cas kill this awful version of him who had been utterly destroyed by being an angel while affirming to himself that humans are the best. And being an angel sucks and is destructive to his very sense of self.

I like that a lot.

-

Long live Party!Cas

-

And we begin and end the season with a dead Cas

-

I mean we're not quite at the end but we're close enough that this counts as bookending symmetry.

-

"For whatever reason, I have a good feeling about you two"

it seems a little worrying that apparently the entire lot unanimously voted to go to the pretty AU. I think they're making a joke that Bobby feels some sort of cosmic fatherly vibe towards them but in truth Bobby complained they were idjits with terrible plans quite often, as he did earlier... I'm not sure it's going to be good that everyone Exoduses with them and I feel like them celebrating a win with 10 minutes to go before whatever leads into the finale is a terrible thing. All in all we've got a last 10 minutes of a Buckleming episode vibe going on and I do not like it.

-

Okay Lucifer helping Dean revive the bus is the weirdest cooperation I've ever seen on this show.

-

Making Lucifer drive so they can keep an eye on him is the worst idea ever and I don't care what Dean justifies it with, Gabriel came rushing in from left field to say hey hey hey this is a dumbass idea and Dean's like shut up you're not in this episode but Gabriel is the one voice of reason here because he's the guy who's not in the episode so can see it for what it is.

Dean's supposed to always want to drive.

-

Where is Nougat going?

Why are you even upset?

-

Oh, he's realised they're all fleeing to plan to kill Michael later and even though this plan was all worked out a while back he is reacting now - is it just that they didn't include him in the planning and he buckleminged between the cracks of an episode ABOUT HIM and only found out now...

He's like but I wanna kill Michael NOW

Okay, no, he's got a cool heroic mindset

but you know what, after hanging with Lucifer, there is something about how they've put Jack in a position where he is driven to Kill Michael just like Lucifer was originally driven to Kill Michael. Of course everything around them and the utter horror of worst!Cas proves that killing Michael is necessary for this world to even have a sliver of a chance of survival, but at the same time, Jack is now irrationally stuck on a mission purpose identical to the one that once powered Lucifer to start the entire apocalypse. And having Jack mirroring that need, to the point of irrationally leaving the party bus when the plan IS to regroup, arm up and return to kill Michael, shows that he has -

At least this one brewed up fast, because the longer you leave the apocalypse to stew, the more complicated it is to start a fight with Michael??

-

Sam goes after Jack because he cares and then Lucifer saunters over because he wants to latch onto Jack, and once again we get Jack caught between two parent figures - in his flashes of choosing who he wants to be after thinking about Kelly's message he had flashes of both Lucifer and Sam - not Cas and Dean.

Look

I'm just sayin' as a random aside

which I should not be saying but I mean I hope I earned some sam!girl cred earlier so let me ruin this

because they're framing it as Lucifer vs Sam

it sets aside Cas n Dean

and they're like

A different set of parents on like, a different level. If Jack has 4 dads, Cas and Dean are one pair and Sam and Lucifer are the other... Thematically... but like... also Cas and Dean are weirdly in a different sort of world when it comes to relating to Jack apparently.

-

Sam is all concern about Jack, Lucifer tries to talk Jack out of it with seeming concern which is really just about how he isn't very good at fighting Michael. Lol.

-

UUUGHHHH Sam having to hear Jack say "my father makes a valid point" and then Lucifer claps Jack on the shoulder and walks off with him in front of Sam and it feels like Lucifer somehow retroactively has kicked off this whole nonsense JUST to spite Sam.

-

Oh my GOD Dean isn't even ON the party Bus with Lucifer what the heck who PLANNED this plan

-

I like Gabriel just chilling with like, an RPG launcher or something.

nice callback to last episode re: lol penis

-

Also Jack is sitting with Uncle Gabriel in the jeep! Good! I hope he is saying lots of good sensible Nice Uncle Who Gives You Candy things to Jack, and then makes a coin appear out of his ear.

-

Portal's closing

Run run run

-

Amazingly, Lucifer's maths about the portal were not wrong?

I mean... do we just assume that that was a lucky guess?

-

Rowena has been reading the entire time, and I can tell why we haven't seen her since the start of the episode but it's still a total waste of her.

Maybe Gabriel was slipping off and hooking up with her whenever he wasn't in the episode.

-

You know I am not 100% Rowena was in this episode either. I do appreciate her and Ketch making eye contact like, oh, you.

-

With 6 minutes to go you know some serious shit is about to go down

-

JACK IS BACK

-

Lol Sam is like no you stay here, Lucifer. Fuck you being in the same universe as Jack for any length of time.

-

Okay we got a Mary and an AU Bobby here, good, good. And a Charlie! Wonderful!

The last 6 minutes of the episode might be all like, 30 people coming through the rift one by one to dramatic music.

If the Winchesters don't make it back then there's going to be one hell of a kegger thrown here by all the gnarly post-apocalypse peeps suddenly filling the Bunker unsupervised.

-

CAS!

-

He does not count as a responsible adult. Party!Cas is in the Bunker, currently unsupervised, with Rowena.

That is going to be a fucking wild kegger.

-

Oh good they sped up the dramatic entering the portal bit when it was randos we've never met who are now all filling the Bunker

-

Guys, you do realise if you leave BOTH archangels on the other side of the rift... you don't have any grace on YOUR side of the rift?

-

I mean

that... did occur to you?

-

Oh great the angels just crashed down on top of them and of all the people on screen, we get a close up of Andy the doubter dead. Nice going, BL

-

Michael! Badass wings in the dust!

-

Oh that's why Asmodeus did the ridiculous grace hurling. They wanted Lucifer to do it to Michael.

-

Now Michael is doing it to Lucifer

Just... like... kill him for us... put us out of our misery...

-

Gabriel, no, don't do this... D: If I have to watch you die again I'm suing.

-

Like, worst time to suddenly show up in the episode.

-

Dude you can not die,  you have to come back and run Heaven and bang Rowena on the weekends.

-

Sam and Dean are like... just not running away.

-

I'm suing.

-

Gabriel better be behind Michael and stab him now

-

I mean I'm just assuming he's standing behind a tree like, wow, it's amazing how often people fall for that

-

"How did you think this was gonna end?"

I love you Sammy

You get the no.1 dad mug

-

Oh good, Michael is alone with a weakened miserable Lucifer. Can you just stomp him out of rage now?

-

Cut to: Bunker kegger.

I immediately spot Cas and Dean standing together not in the main party, with AU Charlie. AU Bobby and Mary together, Rowena sitting down needing a rest, and Sam wearing just a t-shirt and chilling with her. Ketch and the girl from the vampire mine sitting either side of the stairs, probably both like ???? about events, from completely opposite directions.

-

AU Charlie and Ketch are weirdly friends. I am so conflicted.

-

FINALLY FOUND JACK

he doesn't look very happy. He's a corner child. Sitting in the corner. With a beer he is like 20 and a bit years too young to drink.

-

Anyway guess Samwitch is still on the cards even if we can be really miserable about Gabwena or whatever you call it ending too soon.

-

Cas and Dean are talking about I guess a toast to Gabriel, presumably prompted by Cas being really sad about Gabriel, probably because now there's no one to teach him magic tricks to amuse Jack.

-

Cas really isn't much fun at parties, now I think about it

I'm not backing down from my stance. He just needs to get BETTER at parties.

-

"Been here 5 minutes and he's taken over the joint"

I've wanted to see Bobby in the Bunker a million years and while I am miserable it's not the real thing, it does still feel at least kinda right.

*sighs forever*

-

What is Jack going to do

-

Why are people toasting Sam and Dean but not Cas

-

Cas isn't toasting them either, he's standing there with his hands in his pockets like yeah I always knew these two idiots were the best, thanks for catching up.

-

Jack continues staring into the void

Cas continues standing there

-

Awww no why did you give us a closeup of Gabriel lying there? Also his eyes were wide open. What does that mean? I mean is it because no one's bothered to close them, or is it a symbolic thing?

anyway Michael you are not stabbing Lucifer fast enough. Don't bargain with him. He just wants to go be a pest in the main world.

-

What the hell was that last look about? UGH. Do not want.

-

tl;dr Gabriel is probably fine. He sneaked through the portal when no one was looking and flapped off. 

Rowena will probably get a series of bizarre sexy presents delivered to whatever hotel room she's in

Cas needs to work at parties

Jack is contemplating what the hell fathers' day even is.

[whattheklance]

The rest of my season 6 thoughts

OHMYGOSH

what a season

WHAT a season

the next chunk of writing, right below here, was from when i was on the episodes I was talking about before I finished them all

KEITH IS TALLER THAN LANCE after two years

ALSO that means Keith is 21 now, even if no time has passed for everyone else.

man. i think the only reason Lance was "oh look keith's back" was mostly his bitterness over lotor and allura. it's like that bitterness revived his original behavior around Keith from the beginning. even if keith is acting different.

I wouldn't have even thought or noticed Keith was bigger or had grown if fucking LANCE hadn't pointed it out. of course lance is the first and only one to notice. not even in person but via a screen

i also forgot about the cliffhanger already that keith and krolia had found an altean. that d&d episode kinda wiped it from my brain.

and lotor had me fooled too.

though before i started watching i had read someone's post who pointed out how much lotor always told the truth but would lie through omission. not sharing any details that would paint him in a negative light.

is the tenderness he's expressed with allura also part of the lie?? cuz that seemed so genuine.

OHHHHH MYGOSH OHMYGOSH

one of my theories was RIGHT. that the shiro who returned to earth was ALSO a clone!!!

when keith first walked into that room with pods, my FIRST thought was "are all of those Shiros????"

AND OHMYGOSH they were.

when i saw the title of this episode was "the black paladins" my first thought was "does this mean not only keith and shiro, but MULTIPLE shiros will be in this episode???" AND YES. ugh yes.

i don't care that i was right. cuz this was like one of HALF A DOZEN theories i came up with.

i think original shiro NEVER returned to earth

which possibly means that haggar let the blades release A shiro because 1) it wasn't the real one and 2)she might have always intended him to be a paladin.

but i am REALLY attached to the clone shiro we got to know and love and I PRAY that we get to see him again.

and i jumped to a conclusion too quick up there. though a theory of mine was STILL RIGHT, a slight variation on what i just said. I know I have an old post where I theorized that Shiro disappeared because he BECAME ONE WITH THE BLACK LION

AND OHMYGOSH THATS WHAT HAPPENED

it's funny. there was a huge theory going around that something like that could happen to lance and the blue lion, even though there weren't really any solid grounds to think that would happen. But that's what happened to Shiro.

After Keith talked to Shiro and truly bonded with the Black Lion thanks to him. I thought we'd have to say goodbye to Shiro it REALLY felt like he wouldn't be coming back. Like we'd lost him already back in season 2.

and then them having to sacrifice the castle of lions, their home away from home. was even more loss on top of that.

so when we got Allura putting Shiro's spirit from the Black Lion into the clone's body. My heart was swelling. I was so relieved. And I like that it turned his hair all the way white. kinda like when Gandalf the Grey "came back from the dead" as Gandalf the White.

There were SO MANY wonderful beats in this season. Lots of signs of REALLY great storytelling

But I can't help but feel like someone took the great story the team wanted to tell and condensed it way too much. You can still see the elements of what they planned, but lots of important parts felt too rushed

We already know that netflix or dreamworks mandate forced them to bring shiro back a whole season sooner than the creators wanted to. I can't help but wonder what other mandates happened that limited their plans.

The WHOLE Shiro story was a thrilling concept and had some good beats in it. But it also happened a little too fast. Like, Lance's interactions with Shiro in season 5, I felt like that should have led somewhere instead of being dismissed. Even if they wanted the betrayal to seemingly come out of nowhere and surprise the team the way it did, they could've had Lance travel a little ways towards the truth, but have something happen that causes him to dismiss it. It also would’ve amplified his grief upon the betrayal happening, like he could’ve prevented it.

hell even clone shiro. Gonna call him Kuro from now on. He suspected something was wrong. That’s why I thought we were going to get SOME kind of investigation/test, even if it was limited to one episode ANYTHING. i would’ve taken ANYTHING of that nature.

I really wanted Kuro to have some sort of agency beyond his programming. For him to possibly get redeemed or something. I mean, he resisted. He wanted to resist before Haggar forced control. But in the end he was just a device for conflict, and a deus ex machina to resurrect real Shiro. kinda bummed we didn’t get any other clone shiros beyond the sleeping ones in the pods. I liked the idea of a shiro army, good or evil. But maybe they were just empty husks to be used by haggar when one breaks.

It'd be awesome if this wasn't the end of their story, and Shiro in the new body actually had Kuro's voice in his head or something, kinda like 80's Rogue in the x-men with Ms.Marvel's voice in her head. But sadly, it kinda of feels like this is the end of the Shiro Clone Saga.

More on the whole rushing good plot points. The whole reveal of Lotor's true nature with Keith returning. It felt very abrupt, and it didn't help having the D&D episode separating the cliffhanger of Keith and Krolia finding an Altean and the reveal.

Still, even though it all happened faster than I wished, all the beats with the Keith vs Shiro, and Keith discovering real Shiro and unlocking the Black Lion, and even his two year time gap, experience with the Blade and with his mother, crafted him into a confidant fighter who could finally take the lead in voltron, vastly opposite of his pre-blade self. I feel like this character arc, even though it was still too brief init of itself, makes up for some of the lost development from when Shiro should've been gone longer. We wanted to see the new team develop more than we got to. So it was really satisfying seeing them come together now, and feeling like we really saw Keith transform since he last piloted the Black Lion. Even though we had a long keith shortage with seasons 4 and 5, they still managed to have key episodes that developed his arc that led him to who he became in the finale.

though i'm relieved we got original shiro back, i feel like his being brought back was rushed too. Like, I get how that type of scene feels right for a season finale, especially with the fight and losing the castle of lions, but I wish there was more time and development between Keith's discovery of him and his actual return at the end.

KEITH GOT THE GALRA mark from his straining to hold onto his life and Kuro's. I almost was expecting him to fully transform into a galra form of his own. Maybe that's in his future, cuz I think everyone wants to see something like that. I hope the gang comments on his mark in the next episode (did anybody get Star Trek (2009) reboot vibes in that scene?? i feel like there was a scene with Kirk and Sulu that was very similar action-wise with the whole collapsing planet-to-space structure)

Man, so this season Lance had to deal with his Allura feelings and losing her to Lotor. Then Allura had to deal with having her heart broken from falling for Lotor then learning how she was used. Ever since Lance faced his feelings he hasn't been the flirt towards Allura anymore. I hope it stays that way. I love Lance and I love Allura, but I really hope the writers don't take us a romantic route. Like if they did start to do something like that, I'd keep my fingers crossed that its purpose would be to show one or both of them that they aren't right for each other. Like, try to get together only to hilariously fail and decide against it. like Rachel and Joey in friends.

They didn't do anything with Allura presumably learning Lance's feelings from the mice. i’m surprised. i was a little worried when that happened. again, i feel like that not becoming anything could also be a sign of omitted story points.

THEY'RE FUCKING GOING HOME

and i can't help but think how we have seen neither hide nor hair of Sendak's coalition since the episode they fought and ran. They're fully functioning. a huge danger. And I remember reading a meta post after last season talking about how sendak understands better than anyone that to beat voltron is to threaten innocents lives, and to ultimately defeat voltron he'd threaten their home planet. A planet incapable of defending itself against galra tech. He even re-demonstrated those tactics AGAIN this season with the galra shield base. As if to remind us he does that...for next season. where the gang goes home only to find sendak's taken earth or something. or at least has a blockade to threaten it.

this season seriously delivered. Razor's Edge, I stand by as being the best episode of the series thus far. But man The Black Paladins episode was on par with Keith's Blade of Marmora reveal episode in season 2, which I put in the top 5.

Good season, despite the fact that possible executive mandates possibly limiting the writing all around felt VERY visible. Even if it's never confirmed for the things I felt were rushed. I feel like I can see that it’s there. I feel like I can see the story they want to tell, and then everywhere I feel was rushed was like an artificial constraint that forced them to cut something out of the story they want to tell.

Cuz it feels like, from the sheer quality of beats within the characters' arcs, anyone, who could craft what we've already seen, would understand the appropriate amount of story needed to properly depict it, and do it justice, but it's like someone who doesn't have the same understanding has told them to make it shorter, cuz reasons. And that’s how we got the end result

PS. i wonder if Kuro’s sheer blandness as Shiro playing D&D was a reflection of his programming. He couldn’t be inventive or imaginative, and his sole purpose was to be a paladin, to infiltrate, so that’s what he chose every time, constantly the same character. Cuz I feel like real Shiro wouldn’t play the same way. Of course it was funnier having that kind of character, but I really think that might’ve been for that purpose.

[rantsaboutponies]

Season 7 Retrospective

Well, we’re between highly anticipated movie releases this weekend (for me, anyway), so it’s time for our annual look back over the season!

Good lord, the beginning of Season 7 seemed like so long ago. I could have sworn the Flurry Heart episode was last season. Maybe this has just been a really long year. Well...okay, yeah, I can certainly see why it would feel that way, given the year this has been.

With a rating of 4-9-13 (W-L-T), this season must have been better than the last one, even if it didn’t feel like it. Season 8 is forthcoming, so how long before Hasbro gives up and reboots the series again? Only time will tell.

So, here we are. From best to worst:

#1. “Secrets and Pies”: This episode was...good? Like, really, really good? Why? I don’t get it! I wouldn't be so confused if you guys did this more often! I swear, the next time this happens, I'm going to get whiplash!

#2. “Rock Solid Friendship”: To complement the really good Pinkie Pie episode, here’s an episode that was really good in every way except Pinkie Pie! They’re at exact opposite ends of the season, too. Maybe it’s an equivalent exchange thing.

#3. “Triple Threat”: I thought this episode did a pretty good job of avoiding the “why don’t you just tell them?” problem that virtually every episode of every sitcom runs into. We’ve already established that Thorax is a whiny little milquetoast weenie and that Ember is a heinous prick who doesn’t listen to anybody but herself. Hell, that was the entire reason for the conflict in the first place! Honestly, why would Spike try to reason with either of them?

#4. “To Change a Changeling”: If the monster hadn’t turned out to be a giant mole, the ending battle might have seemed a little more life-threatening. That, Starlight’s very, very stupid plan, and Pharynx’s abusive ass made this episode a little worse than it should have been. Apart from that, though, I liked it!

And now here’s the hardest part of the list: trying to figure out which “tie” episodes were slightly better or worse than all the others.

#5. “Once Upon a Zeppelin”: Yeah, Twilight’s parents were annoying (and idiots), but not to the point that I’m going to dread them ever showing up in any future episodes (unlikely as that is at this point). Plus, bringing back Iron Will actually seemed to have a point, and it helped that he didn’t have to “unlearn” his lesson from his first appearance just to make the current episode make sense.

#6. “Uncommon Bond”: This episode went out of its way to prove that yes, Starlight and Sunburst really do have only one thing in common. I would have expected the resolution to be the realization that the two of them liked more things than just that board game, but nope! Giant version! That’s it!

#7. “Daring Done?”: I was so distracted this episode that I forgot to mention that Pinkie Pie was actually acting like Pinkie Pie and not an annoying little shitbag! It was refreshing! But anyway, you’d think Daring-Do would have written enough books by this point to realize the obvious tropes this episode followed. The real challenge for her is going to be stretching this adventure out to novel-length.

#8. “Discordant Harmony”: I’m still not sure what made Discord think he needed to change a bunch of shit about his house to make Fluttershy happy. It looked the same way he made her house look every time he visited her. What did he think she was expecting?

#9. “A Health of Information”: This is the second episode in a row on this list where Fluttershy acted kind of like a doofus throughout the episode for no discernible reason. It also proved that unicorns are the solution to everything. Need to grab some moss from a swamp without falling in? Unicorn! Need to collect honey from the flash bees without going anywhere near them? Unicorn! Need to destroy an entire planet without breaking a sweat? Unicron!

#10 & #11. “Shadow Play (Parts 1 and 2)”: The first half fools you into thinking this isn’t just going to be a run-of-the-mill finale episode by promising you a halfway interesting quest before immediately giving you all the artifacts within a few minutes. Ha! Gotcha!

#12. “Hard to Say Anything”: I’d kind of hoped we were past the whole “two men competing for the trophy that is the personality-deprived female character” cliché, especially in a show designed for children, but I guess not. I mean, at least Big Mac and Feather do realize that’s what they’re doing by the end, but that doesn’t fix Sugar Belle’s “sexy lamp” issue.

#13. “A Royal Problem”: Has Twilight been of help to any friendship-related issues since she stopped being the main character? I think these episodes must be based on Twilight's memoirs, i.e. this isn't how things actually happened; this is how she remembers them happening. Here's what really happened during "Magical Mystery Cure":

Twilight Sparkle: So...I accidentally totally and completely fucked up my friends’ lives, but then I fixed it! That means I'm good at having friends, right?

Princess Celestia (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, you're a regular princess of friendship.

Twilight Sparkle: *gasp* Really?!

Princess Celestia: Oh, no, I didn't mean– Ah, crap, the music's already started. ♫ You've come such a long, long way... ♫

Princess Celestia (mentally): I've really got to stop using the word “princess” as an insult. This is the third one this week. I'm running out of castles! She'll just have to stay in the library until I can find another one.

#14. “All Bottled Up”: This episode is a perfect example of why the writers typically just don’t include characters in an episode if they have nothing to do in said episode. That escape room nonsense was just stupid. The six of you might be best friends, but you have never gotten along that well!

#15. “Celestial Advice”: Ugh, this one. “As a teacher, I have to send my student away. I don’t know exactly why I have to do that, but I’m sure I’ll figure the reason out later. Oh, wait, you don’t want to leave? Well, that changes everything! You can stay!” I think they were making this one up as they went along.

#16. “The Perfect Pear”: One of the emptiest “love” stories I’ve ever seen. This was an “attraction story”, if you can even call it that. This is another case where I’m positive that at least a hundred better fanfics had been written about this exact story before the episode was released. I get why people have headcanons about things now. Why wouldn’t you have a fanon when the canon is so...weak?

#17. “Honest Apple”: Once again, we have a brand-new writer for this episode. Kevin Lappin was very likely just given a slip of paper with “APPLEJACK = HONEST” written on it, which constituted the entire material he had to work with. That might explain why Applejack was such an unlikable prick for the entire episode.

Whoo... All right. Here we go.

#18. “A Flurry of Emotions”: If you don’t want to watch your kid (because, seriously, you’ve got better things to do), just show up at one of your relatives’ houses one day and dump it on them. They’ll have such a guilt trip that they’ll be glad to accept! But make sure it’s someone who’s completely unqualified for the job and has a mountain of other responsibilities first. That’s the best way!

#19. “Campfire Tales”: The fact that this episode was actually just a clunky setup for the finale might explain why all three stories sucked so hard. It’s this season’s The Mummy!

#20. “Not Asking for Trouble”: Now we’re going to get into the part of the list where I have to figure out which episodes are worse by balancing how much the episode irritated me in general with how toxic the moral is. Trust me, if your children’s show has a moral of “Do what you want to do for other people, regardless of what those people have explicitly told you not to do, because you’ll end up being right in the end. After all, people don’t know what they want!”, you’ve fucked up something awful.

#21. “Fluttershy Leans In”: I said in this review that this felt like the MLP version of The Fountainhead, but I only just recently realized that I also said the same thing about Season 5's "Canterlot Boutique". Given that the episodes were written by different people, this must be a storyline that creative types really like (even if it’s nothing more than a power fantasy).

#22. “It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You”: All right, you actually had a good idea with this one. Despite being the Element of Generosity, one of Rarity's main problems has always been her vanity. That means you pulled off the rare feat of making the moral both 1. something the character hasn't already learned in a previous episode and 2. something that a normal functioning member of society might not automatically possess. (There has been a distressing number of lessons in the past five seasons or so that don't fit one or both of these qualifications.) It's just a shame you crashed and burned so spectacularly by 1. turning the moral from “don't be vain” to “have confidence” (something Rarity has never struggled with AND which you have already had as the moral in MULTIPLE previous episodes) and 2. went about it in the most nonsensical way possible!

#23. “Parental Glideance”: This one was a little sickening. The “my parents are so embarrassing!” trope is bad enough, but you’re an adult, Rainbow Dash! Grow up! If the things your parents are doing embarrass you (or if they’re legitimately dangerous, like SHOOTING FIREWORKS OFF AT AN AIRSHOW), talk to them! You can do that without snapping and acting like a dick!

#24. “Forever Filly”: Holy crap, I have never wanted to punch a fictional cartoon character in the face as badly as I did in this episode. I don’t know what made Sweetie Belle act like such a little shit or why Rarity is so out of touch with her (seeing as Sweetie Belle would have had to have been about four to be into the stuff she was trying to do), but I hated this. Shove your black box experimental theater up your ass.

#25. “Marks and Recreation”: I got the sense from the beginning of the series that cutie marks were originally supposed to be something really deep and meaningful. I mean, they’re your passion. They represent that thing that you love so much and are so good at that you can spend the rest of your life doing it and wearing a permanent symbol of it on your body. Well, not anymore! Now it’s just some obligatory shit that you get because you have to and that doesn’t have any real meaning at all! Fuck you! Just...fuck you!

#26. “Fame and Misfortune”: Yeah, no surprise there. Holy shit, this was a painful experience. Like “Stranger Than Fan Fiction”, this was just embarrassing to watch. To quote somebody else, “...you don't get back at critics by attacking them, you do it by ignoring them and continuing to be awesome.” Hell, this episode's moral is contradicted by its own existence. “You shouldn't be affected by criticism of your work. That’s why I wrote this episode where all my critics are painted as raving lunatics and I am totally the victim!” The fact that this is the SECOND such episode is just pathetic. This one actually manages to be worse, though, because, unlike the earlier episode when it was just Quibble Pants being a dick, this one paints the ENTIRE fandom as either complaining whiners who hate everything or creepy stalkers who follow everywhere you go. Nothing says “we want you to keep watching” like insulting the few fans you have left right to their face!

Remember, next week is the review of the remaining six Equestria Girls: Summertime Shorts. Be there!

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: K-On!

I haven’t over-talked about an anime for a while, have I? At least, not since October. Life’s been busy. Let’s fix that.

Lately, I’ve had contact with the greatest library system in the world,[1] and through it I have managed to watch one of the Essential Anime Series.

And, as always, I watched K-On![2] dubbed. Take that, anime elitists! Ha-ha!

It took me awhile to get through K-On!, longer than I would’ve liked, since I ended up watching it between two trips, months apart, where other commitments and activities forced me away from the television as I desperately tried to get through it, and maybe onto others shows I checked out (Spoilers: between the two trips, I only really managed to watch K-On!)

Luckily, its overarching narrative isn’t very important to follow closely, as it is the flagship of the ‘Cute Girls doing Cute Things’ anime set that evolved from Azumanga Daioh. It was often quipped, whenever someone tried to come in partway through, that there was no plot.

It’s not even Seinfeldian, since even that had actual stakes. K-On! really is a show about a small rock band of girls where nothing really happens. It’s very cute, endearingly so, but… well, I wouldn’t say you need to go out of your way to watch the show if you’re unsure. If you’re into anime and exploring the various genres, then yes, give K-On! a try, just to see if this sort of show appeals to you.

Actually, going back to my earlier snark, this is a show I’m really glad I could watch dubbed. I’ve previously outlined my reasons for only watching dubs, but in this case my penchant for multitasking was key for sitting through the series, while keeping an ear on the actual show. If I were forced to keep rapt attention, reading every line as it came on screen, there is no way the show would’ve won the effort versus reward balance.

K-On! is a good white noise show, which isn’t an insult. It’s just something that’s very easy to come in and out of as you do other things, or want to watch something without committing to depth. There is value to fluff and escapism, which you can find here.

The entire series is built to be disposable, with no drama. There are no romantic relationships, no major fights or tedious fall-outs. In fact, I almost want to say there’s zero conflict at all. Yet, despite what your writing and English teachers may tell you, the series works.

It’s a story carried by its cast of characters. They aren’t even particularly outlandish characters, compared to other shows. They have quirks and traits, but they’re low key, and I’m not even sure how well I can describe the main cast, as they tend to overlap with character traits.  The most obvious differences between them are whether they are extroverts or introverts. Still, it’s my style to talk about characters, so here’s my attempt.

Main Five:

Yui: The supposed protagonist of the series, or at least the focal character during the establishing phase of it. Her endearing characteristics are that she’s immature and physically affectionate! She’s also the second most extroverted character. At the start of the series, she’s directionless and unsure what to do with herself now that she’s a High School student, so she decides to join a club. Except she doesn’t really want to put much effort into it, so she joins the light music club, believing she’ll breeze by only playing simple percussion. But, she ends up having to learn the guitar. She also seems to be the main vocalist, at least for the opening sequences.

Mio: She’s the bass player and is left handed, but is also very shy and relatively serious. Thus, of course, she gets played up for the most fan service and put in uncomfortable situations, though she mellows out as the show progresses. She also gains a fan club, because why not? She sings the closing credits songs.

Ritsu: The club president and drum player. She’s tomboyish, loud, and impulsive, thus the primary driving force whenever she’s actually on board with something, and the one who first really wanted to form a band. Childhood friend of Mio.

Mugi: She plays the keyboard! She’s a little of the quiet, subtle type, but also has a rather wide enabler streak, as she uses her family money to buy her friends nice things, and is the person brewing (very fancy) teas and bringing treats for the club meetings. As such, she might be the one most to blame for how little the club members practice as opposed to just hanging out.

Azusa (Azu-nyan): Joins half-way through the first season as a second guitar player. She then quickly rises to become, if not the viewpoint character, then at least sharing the position with Yui. Unlike the rest of the band, she actually starts with a lot of musical knowledge, and really would like to practice from time to time. However, she lacks confidence to stand up to her “Senpais” (it’s actually interesting to hear the dub casually use the terms), so she gets swept into their usual tea times and Yui’s overabundance of physical affection. Also, she’s almost only addressed as Azu-nyan by the club members.

The  five live the expected high schooler lives, studying, hanging out, making jokes, visiting the beach, and in general growing to become a rather adorable group of friends. You know, slice of life stuff.

Though, I’d also be remiss not to discuss the secondary characters:

Sawako: A teacher of… something I forgot? But eventually the homeroom teacher of the senior band members. She’s the wackiest character, despite her efforts to appear professional outside the club room. She’s pretty casual with the Light Music Club, and makes cute costumes to try and force onto the band. She’s also probably my favorite character.

Nodoka: Yui’s childhood friend. She’s a member of the student council, and thus the one forced to try and get the band to actually do paperwork.

Ui: Yui’s younger sister, who is miles more responsible than her older sister. She also becomes Azu-nyan’s classroom friend.

Jun: Azu-nyan’s third friend. She’s a member of the Jazz club, and exists to make the kouhais a trio.

There are, of course, other bit players that pop up now and again for the sake of the plot, but none really matter outside these nine.

So the episodes go: the four (later five) band members interact, get to know one another, and grow as friends and possibly people, but not by a lot.

Honestly, the lack of in-depth and overarching plot makes talking about K-On! difficult because it’s not a show you watch to find out “Will these girls become a successful band?” or “Will the power of music defeat the evil aliens?” It’s just something you sort turn on so you have an excuse to melt into the couch, maybe browse social media, and listen to characters have a nice time.

Like Yotsubaa, though a little less goofy, and actually animated.[3]

So what is there actually to describe? It’s a pleasant experience, watch it if you're interested, don’t if it doesn’t appeal.

There’s the actual music. They are a band, and we do get to watch and listen to music being performed, though usually abstracted into some sort of music video. It’s nice music, and the Dub makes the excellent decision to leave the vocals in Japanese and subtitle it. I may be a staunch Dub advocate, but even I can admit it’s usually best to leave music as is.

It’s all very fun music that I wish I could listen to, but copyright bots have done an astounding job of keeping the songs off Youtube, and I can’t even find the music on any American music service.[5] The lyrics are a little silly, but in a fun way.

Fair warning, though, you will here the ending line of Fuwa Fuwa Time constantly. It’s their go-to ‘and the girls are done playing’ snippet. I found it amusing, quipping it’s the only song they play, but I can see how it might get tedious to hear.

So let’s go a little meta with it. What can I, as a creator, take from this anime?

The girls are very similar from a distance, both in appearance and personality. Yes, they differ in some of the details (hair and major personality traits), but they mostly can fill any role needed for the typical K-On scene. Ritsu is rambunctious, sure, but she’s as susceptible to ‘cute’ antics and sentimentality as the others.

They are very flat characters, who all grow very little over the course of the series. Yui is as much of a childish airhead at the end of the series as she was at the start, if not more. Ritsu never learns to be responsible about club forms or her own actions. Mio is as reserved and nervous. Mugi still is content to sit back and watch. No one learns anything.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t need to tell a sweeping epic or carefully plotted drama to tell a continuing narrative. It’s nice to have, yes, but it’s also acceptable to keep the stakes low and just enjoy the moment.

It’s also a great example of how to make very similar characters still have little unique traits, and how little differences can make a world of difference. The main characters all fall at different points of outgoingness, ranging from Ritsu’s energetic tomfoolery, to Mio’s desire to not be noticed. It affects how the five will approach a given situation, and gives space for potential conflicts.

And honestly, though I love the concept, the scenes built to show how two characters interacting when it’s only them aren’t the strongest of the show. Like the band itself, it’s an ensemble piece that’s at it’s best when everyone’s there, with the occasional guest performer.

To take another meta direction, it is a show about artists. Musicians, yes, which is an inexplicable magic I have no way to enter,[6] but artists nevertheless. So it’s a peek into the life of young artists, if perhaps slightly improved. Because these girls do have a following amongst their classmates, and thus are successful in that way. And they have, between the television episodes, OVAs, and movie, gotten a few outside gigs, which I never managed as a High Schooler.

Though I’m a writer, so that might explain it.[7]

Still, the world doesn’t just give them success. Though it’s mostly offscreen, they all do practice. They show the importance of networking, which is how they get their scant few outside gigs. With Sawako, we also see artists learning from an experienced artist, as well as an experienced artist helping and nurturing new talent, even if she keeps putting them in silly outfits. Most importantly, the band members support one another and working together to make Afternoon Tea Time (Ho-kago Tea Time) better, show casing the important role friends and colleagues have in an artist’s life.

Because, more than anything, Artists require support and encouragement. It’s difficult to create something and then not have anyone to turn to to evaluate and enjoy it. I’ve never had many people I felt I could hand writing to and expect them to actually want to read it, least of all my high school friends. Or most of my family, really. I’ve tried, in my youth, but always got such an indifferent response that I learned not to try.

So, I guess those are the important messages of K-On!: support your artists, not just financially, but also emotionally. Find what you love, and others will come to you. And sometimes it’s nice to just sit around with teas and snacks and good company.

Thanks for reading, and speaking of support, I have a Patreon.[8]

Kataal kataal.

[1] Could I legally sell merchandise naming the Santa Clara County Library? Seems like an obvious choice for Canvas merch. [2] I know the second season has two exclaimation points, but since animes are always a little odd with naming seasons, I’ll just use season 1’s pattern, like I usually do with Anime. [3] Which actually might just be Azumanga Daioh…[4] [4] Also, c’mon Kiyohiko Azuma! Even a one season anime of Yotsubaa would be amazing. It’d be so cute, and I could get at least two of my family members to watch anime with it! [5] Well, I haven’t tried iTunes, but I never want that on my computer again. It’s so needy. [6] Seriously, I have no rhythm or concept for how to compose original music. Or even words to describe what I want from people who do! [7] If there were a High School anime about artist friends, the writer would be the gloomy one who feels the others get more recognition and opportunities than them. [8] Ha! Smooth transition.

[thefantastickatinator]

Bitch and Fix: Hunk Edition

I just want to start out by saying that I am PISSED about the way that Voltron treated Hunk this season. And I am absolutely going to complain about that, but then I’m actually gonna offer a few solutions that fix some of the issues the show created by basically forgetting half of Hunk’s character. WARNING: I will be bashing the fuck out of season 2 and the voltron writers. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the season as a whole.

Problems Throughout the Whole Season

Bitch

WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO HAVE HUNK MAKE A FOOD RELATED COMMENT EVERY FUCKING EPISODE? WAS IT? NO! NO IT WAS NOT! Hunk likes food, sure, but not that much. He certainly didn’t make that many comments about it in season 1. Just- no. It’s not that funny, and it’s pretty insulting to imply that all he cares about is how hungry he is. Sidenote: I’m not going to mention the jokes on a episode by episode basis because there are so many of them that it would be a gigantic waste of my time.

Both scenes where Hunk gets stuck in a hole. Like the first one was bad enough, but the second one was too much. Just- that’s so tacky. It’s a terrible and insulting fat joke that nobody finds very funny.

All the sleeping jokes- thanks for making him look like a lazy slob. NOT

The fact that he was sidelined the whole time to make room for other people’s development. It you have to completely erase a character’s personality in order for your other characters to have development, you aren’t a very good writer.

NO CENTRIC EPISODE!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! EVERY SINGLE PALADIN GOT ONE BUT NOT HUNK???? (Shiro and Keith got multiple ones)

Fix

Get rid of every single food joke. All of them. None of them add anything to the episodes. The only two food related things I would keep for the season would be the Hunk cooking scenes (both in the mall and when he made the lens cookies), because they’re both somewhat relevant to plot and they emphasize Hunk’s cooking ability rather than emphasizing how obsessed with food he is.

Either have some other reason why he gets stuck (his head, or his bayard ejects, or his foot gets caught on a seaweed piece or something) or don’t have him get stuck at all. I’ll talk more about Hunk getting stuck in “The Depths” when I start going episode by episode. I honestly see no real reason for him to get stuck in “The Belly of the Weblum” at all.

Just replace these sleeping scenes with Hunk focusing on some engineering thing, like super focused, and then snap out of it. Same effect, but makes him look smart, not lazy.

I will discuss this on an episode by episode basis.

The best episode to make a centric, in my opinion, is “The Belly of the Weblum”- I’ll discuss this more when I get to this episode.

“Across the Universe”

N/A. Hunk’s not even really in this episode.

“The Depths”

Bitch

It all really centers around the fact of the way Hunk was sidelined so Lance could be the savior. Which, fine. Lance needs his time to shine. But there was a way to do that without the fat jokes. HE GOT LEFT BEHIND BECAUSE HE WAS TOO FAT TO FIT THROUGH THE HOLE? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO FAT SHAME YOUR AUDIENCE? Honestly I have seen the “too fat to fit through a whole” as a trope in the past, but I have reached peak tolerance with this bullshit. Honestly the next time I see this stupid trope I’m gonna scream.

Fix

Ok, there are a lot of different ways to fix this so you still end up with Hunk left behind. He could get stuck for some other reason that has nothing to do with him being fat. Or, Lance could sleepwalk and stumble upon the rebels. Or, they see Lance first, but don’t have enough time to grab Hunk. Or, Hunk sleep punches them out, or literally a hundred different ways to do this without making a fat joke.

“Shiro’s Escape”

Bitch

Not enough Hunk. We always need more.

Fix

More Hunk. Offering suggestions, being his smart self.

“Greening the Cube”

There is no episode that pisses me off as much as this one does.

Bitch

The whole thing with the fixing of the shield. You’re telling me that HUNK, THE ACTUAL ENGINEER OF THE GARRISON TRIO, DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ENGINEERING TERMS FROM CORAN? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT CRAP? OHHH MANNN I A SOOOO PISSED.

HUNK, ENGINEER, HAS NO INTEREST IN THE PLANET OF ENGINEERS? NO INTEREST MY ASS!!!!! OHHHH MANNN IT’S LIKE THEY FORGOT ONE OF HIS CORE PERSONALITY TRAITS. He has like four main ones: food, anxiety, engineer, friend. Like, how hard is it to remember? Look, I get that Pidge needed her time to shine, but this is honestly insulting to Hunk’s character.

Hunk doesn’t understand the engineering tree thing. He should have been able to light one of those trees up as well as Pidge. He’s clearly brilliant, if the first season is anything to go by.

Fix

The easiest way to fix this is to have Hunk fixing some other part of the shield. He can’t be over there to deal with what the other paladins are dealing with, so Pidge fixes the problem. He tries to offer an explanation that’s just as unintelligible as Allura’s and Coran’s, and there you go, Hunk looks smart and we still have the same scene. Easy peasy.

Ok, the way to deal with this is to have him have a reaction similar to Pidge’s when she meets the robot (i.e. silently freaking in the background). Or, have him be equally involved as Pidge, with him offering a supporting role to her freakouts.

Just have him do the tree thing. Maybe in the background or something.

“Eye of the Storm”

Bitch

Hunk not giving two fucks about what weirdo chemicals he baked in is a little weird. 

Hunk is the engineer- why isn’t he the one helping Coran? Sigh

Fix

Have him be a little concerned over it. Possibly, have him and Pidge learn Altean together- good Hidge bonding moment!

More Pidge and him- have them figure out the thing with the cookies! Tech buddies! Bonding! Excellent stuff!!

“Ark of Taujeer”

Not much to complain about here! Hunk discovering a new lion power! Very good stuff! Him single-handedly holding up the ship to save it from certain death? There’s my boy. The only improvement- make this the Hunk-centric! More Hunk! (Repeating thing of Hunk helping out an alien people- like the Balmerans)

“Space Mall”

Bitch

Hunk getting in trouble for eating all those free samples- yet another fat joke- could have found a different way to get to this scenario.

Fix

A couple of different ways to get to this situation. Hunk could intervene in a conflict between the manager/owner and a customer. He could either a) Be roped into dishes along with the customer or take their place or b) Challenge the owner and have a possible cook off. Or, Hunk could try one food thing, find it disgusting, and insist on taking over the kitchen.

“The Blade of Marmora”

Bitch

Yet again, barely any Hunk. Man, they really sidelined the other characters for Shiro’s and Keith’s development.

No reunion post Galra!Keith revelation. Where were our reaction!faces

Fix

More Hunk. My response to nearly everything this season. Maybe more of him worrying over what’s going on down there?

Hunk reaction face- we know how he feels in “The Belly of the Weblum”, but I would have loved to see his first thought at finding out the news.

”The Belly of the Weblum”

Bitch

This really should have been a Hunk-centric episode. This episode had more time for Hunk than any episode other than “The Depths” which was established as Lance-centric. Keith should have been given less screen time with ‘mystery Galra’ give Hunk more screen time. He’s a little too goofy in this one (especially him getting stuck-again), but this is a better episode than most for Hunk.

Fix

The only other episode that could have been a centric was “Ark of Taujeer”, but that’s also got a lot of Allura and Keith stuff. In this episode the only people that Hunk has to fight for screen time are Keith and ‘mystery Galra’. Keith had his own centric and was featured heavily in several episodes, so it wouldn’t matter to much if he was sidelined for this episode. Have Hunk be responsible for the majority of the smart stuff regarding the Weblum, and just spend more time on him figuring it out. Also remove some of the “bumbling” crap. Hunk’s not an idiot.

“Escape from Beta Traz”

N/A. Hunk’s not in this episode and it doesn’t really make sense for him to be.

“Stayin’ Alive”

Sad about Hunk and Shay not getting to see each other again, but it doesn’t really fit within the context of the plot. Also, would love to have seen Hunk and Pidge helping Slav with the teludav.

”Best Laid Plans” and “Blackout”

Since these are basically one big finale, I’m gonna talk about them together.

Bitch

Like many times throughout this season, and like anyone who wasn’t Keith or Shiro this season, Hunk is sidelined once again. He doesn’t have much going on beyond fighting in his lion and as Voltron.

Fix

One big standout moment for Hunk- that really emphasizes his awesomeness as a paladin.

Final Thoughts

They better give him a fucking arc in Season 3 or I will blow a gasket. Hunk deserved better this season.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1151

Monday, February 13, 2017

 Ottawa got about 20 centimetres of snow in the last 24 hours. I heard the grader go by at about 2 AM and I was out there before 5 AM clearing the near meter high snow bank plugging our driveway so that Penny could leave. I should have been more careful. Forgot that it's the thirteenth. Went to throw a big shovelful of snow and my back seized so bad the pain put me on my knees. I was a little over half done then. Did the rest very slowly in a lot of pain and managed to get it all cleared away. Stupid back.

 Kingpin #1 - Matthew Rosenberg (writer) Ben Torres (art) Jordan Boyd (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I almost didn't take this book off the rack to read because the Civil War II: Kingpin mini didn't thrill me. I'm glad I had a change of heart and read this. Here is a Wilson Fisk trying to change the public's perception of him as a brutal crime lord. Matthew makes him more like the sympathetic character that was on the first season of Netflix's Daredevil TV show. That portrayal by Vincent D'Onofrio was very convincing. There is a scene next to a town car in this issue that flashed me back to the show where the Kingpin kills someone with a car door. The other main character is a beautiful writer who Wilson wants to hire to write his biography. Ben's art is really good, and he drew Sarah in a red haute couture gown that made me weak in the knees. This is being added to my "must read" list.

 Justice League of America #1 - Steve Orlando (writer) Ivan Reis (pencils) Joe Prado & Oclair Albert (inks) Marcelo Maiolo (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). I almost didn't take this book off the rack to read because Steve did not impress me with the Monsters story in Batman and Detective recently. I gave him another chance and I'm sorry I did. I don't like this team that Batman is putting together. His reason for gathering these characters is to show that a team of super humans can protect the Earth just as well as the other League that has a couple of gods on it. I get that but Steve belabours the point. Some fans might think it's cool to have Killer Frost, Black Canary, Lobo, the Asian Atom, the Ray and Vixen on a team but I think it's a stunt to create conflict within this team for drama. I'm taking a pass on this for now.

 Death Be Damned #1 - Ben Acker, Ben Blacker & Andrew Miller (writers) Hannah Christenson (art) Juan Useche (colours) Colin Bell (letters). The title should give you a clue to what this 4-issue mini is about. We're looking at some frontier folks what can't die. It's 1873 in Wyoming and a farmer's wife is looking for the men who killed her and her family. She doesn't realize that she can't be killed, but the undertaker finds out soon enough. This isn't simply a story of revenge however. There is some Native American Indian lore and rituals involved that makes for some spooky goings on. I found the art to be crude but serviceable so if you like old west ghost stories this may raise the hairs on your arms.

 Ms. Marvel #15 - G. Willow Wilson (writer) Takeshi Miyazawa (art) Ian Herring (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This Troll villain just got a lot more interesting. Kamala thought she found the hacker that could expose her secret identity but she was wrong. I can't wait for the next issue.

 Wonder Woman #16 - Greg Rucka (writer) Bilquis Evely (pencils) Bilquis Evely, Mark Morales, Andrew Hennessy & Raul Fernandez (inks) Romulo Fajardo Jr. (colours) Jodi Wynne (letters). A new story starts this issue. "Godwatch" starts six months after Diana left Themyscira with a corporate C.E.O. being blackmailed by Gemini twins Phobos and Deimos. The C.E.O. Veronica Cale reminds me of the old Lex Luthor. Some high tech mind melding machine goes haywire and off we go.

 Moonshine #5 - Brian Azzarello (writer) Eduardo Risso (art & colours) Cristian Rossi (colour assistant) Jared K. Fletcher (letters). There's a full moon. Let the werewolves out.

 Black Widow # 11 - Chris Samnee & Mark Waid (writers) Chris Samnee (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). A S.H.I.E.L.D. facility is under attack by the Red Room Runts and Natasha makes it her mission to stop them and try to save the girls at the same time. There are some cool fights scenes in here.

 Detective Comics #950 - James Tynion IV (writer) Marcio Takara (art) Dean White (colours) Marilyn Patrizio (letters). This giant sized anniversary issue starts off with the prologue to "League of Shadows" which features Cassandra Cain, my favourite Batgirl, who is now called Orphan. The last page made me happy we only have to wait two weeks before the next issue hits the racks. In "Higher Powers" by James Tynion IV (writer) Alvaro Martinez (pencils) Raul Fernandez (inks) Brad Anderson (colours) Marilyn Patrizio (letters), Azrael and Batwing have a discussion about the power of faith and Jean-Paul's connection to the Order of Dumas. It ends with the activation of Ascalon and I'm itching to find out more about this new character. The final short by James Tynion IV (writer) Eddy Barrows (pencils) Eber Ferreira (inks) Adriano Lucas (colours) Marilyn Patrizio (letters), flashes back a few months ago to show Red Robin asking Batman what he's gearing everyone up for. This ties into what Batman is up to with his Justice League of America as well as his Detective Comics team. The big DC event of 2017 will be "Dark Days" so don't miss it.

 Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #4 - Kieron Gillen (writer) Kev Walker (pencils) Marc Deering (inks) Antonio Fabela (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). That was a quick read. Lots of explosions and storm troopers shooting and missing.

 Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps #14 - Robert Venditti (writer) Rafa Sandoval (pencils) Jordi Tarragona (inks) Tomeu Morey (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). This issue has one of my pet peeves about comic books. One of the covers has Hal yelling at a Blue Lantern "You crazy fool. Your abuse of blue power destroyed every person on Earth". So a fan would see that and think "I want to read that comic book", only to find that the story inside is totally different. I hate that. Plus it's Kevin Nowlan swiping a Gil Kane cover. It's not even original. This issue is still worth reading though. The Green Lantern Corps and the Sinestro Corps are joining forces so that's new. Kyle and Hal are sent on a mission by Ganthet and that's where the Blue Lantern comes in. Just ignore the hype.

 Totally Awesome Hulk #16 - Greg Pak (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Nolan Woodward (colours) Cory Petit (letters). I like this impromptu team that Amadeus has found himself in. The alien invasion takes a turn for the worse as they are whisked away into space along with some civilians. If you know what Soylent Green is you'll know what the threat is.

 Action Comics #973 - Dan Jurgens (writer) Patch Zircher & Stephen Segovia (pencils) Patch Zircher & Art Thibert (inks) Arif Prianto (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). I love a good mystery and now they are going to solve the one about the human Clark Kent. Part 1 of "Mild Mannered" has Lois Lane on the case. Meanwhile, Superman and Steel try to save Superwoman/Lana Lang's life. There's plenty going on to keep this book interesting.

 Jessica Jones #5 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Michael Gaydos (art) Matt Hollingsworth (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Whoa, what an existential issue. I'm glad to see us getting back to the Alison Greene mystery woman storyline though.

 Guardians of the Galaxy #17 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Valerio Schiti (art) Richard Isanove (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Gamora grounded is an opportunity to show what she's got. Here she tries to break into the Triskelion to get at Thanos. She's sort of successful. I love the way Valerio draws Sasquatch.

 Inhumans vs. X-Men #4 - Jeff Lemire & Charles Soule (writers) Javier Garron (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). So Gorgon isn't in a wheelchair anymore? One of the things I love about reading these massive crossover events is learning about characters that I don't read about all the time. This issue made me appreciate how Jeff and Charles take the time to use the names of each character and show their super powers. They also gave the unfamiliar characters (at least to me) personalities that made them more interesting. This came close to making me want to read Inhumans and X-Men comic books again. We know that both teams survive this was because they are already promoting new books for them so now I just want to find out how they all get along or don't.

 All New Wolverine #17 - Tom Taylor (writer) Djibril Morissette-Phan (art) Michael Garland (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Did you see who's going to be in Hugh Jackman's last Wolverine movie? It's Laura Kinney/X-23, our girl right here. I'm actually excited right now. This issue tackles the problem of Laura's uncontrollable killing sprees brought on by a special pheromone. It's used when her enemies want her to eliminate their rivals. Kimura used it recently but Laura's friends arrived to save her from killing. I would have benched this book because of the art but Tom's writing made it possible for me to enjoy this issue anyways.

 Unworthy Thor #4 - Jason Aaron (writer) Olivier Coipel with Kim Jacinto (present day art) Frazer Irving (Young Thor art) Esad Ribic (Worthy Thor art) Russell Dauterman (Unworthy Thor art) Matthew Wilson, Matt Milla &  Frazer Irving (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). I loved the flashbacks showing the Odinson's history with Mjolnir as he struggles to retrieve Jarnbjorn from the Collector's collection. I can't wait to see if Jason makes the Odinson worthy of wielding a hammer again.