#the worst part about this fic is that it ends💔

[bitchkay]

This whole fic series altered my brain chemistry.

🎸 out of my mind ! 💿 track five: the battle of the bands

guitarist!ino x drummer!reader

summary: it's the annual battle of the bands at the fix, your college campus's iconic live music bar, and this year you're taking the stage as the drummer for indie rock group cursed technique. you know the competition is strong, but no part of you is ready for lead singer and guitarist takuma ino. you lock eyes at the edge of the stage, and something starts—something that might make you feel alive even more than the beat of the drums.

warnings: language, alcohol, DOGGOS, yuji literally is just a ray of sunshine 24/7, mentions of drunk driving, so much fluff, ridiculous amount of kissing tbh, short time skip at the end, FINAL CHAPTER! || sfw. 8.8k words.

FOR THE FIRST time in a long stretch of busy days, you wake up not to the chirp of your alarm but to soft rays of Saturday morning sunlight seeping through the cracks in the blinds, painting your eyelids orange-gold. You crack an eye open and find Takuma stirring beside you. Right.

“Morning,” you whisper. For a moment, when Takuma opens his eyes, he looks surprised, and then he seems to remember why and how you got here and his expression melts into a soft smile.

“Morning, Skip.” He yawns. “Time’s it?”

You shrug. You’re pretty sure your phone is dead.

“Eh, it’s Saturday,” he mumbles. “S’fine.” You chuckle, daring to reach out and ruffle his hair. You don’t know what this is, the unspoken thing in the thin slice of air between you. You know what you want it to be, though.

For a while you both lie in comfortable silence, letting the sounds of the awakening house float up the stairs toward you. Murmuring, clattering around in the kitchen, the front door opening and closing, cars outside.

“Hey,” you say eventually, making eye contact. His eyes are a very deep shade of brown, dark but warm in a way that reminds you of old bookshelves or tree bark after the rain.

“Hey back.”

He’s relaxed, every part of him unhurried, and you take the image of it and stamp it into your mind over the memory of the night prior. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Takuma smiles. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Maybe it should be more awkward, the fact that you’re here in his bed in his clothes and you haven’t named whatever it is that stretches out in the silence. But it’s not. It’s just… easy.

“Skipper?”

“Hm?”

“I really, really like you,” Takuma whispers. The words wrap themselves around you, warm when you didn’t know you were cold.

“Yeah?” You bring a hand up to his face, trace the line of his jaw. His cheeks are a little colored in the mix of light slipping through the window and the cracked door. “I really, really like you too, Takuma.”

He cups your face in both hands, pulls your lips to his, and your whole body responds, pressing up against him in the too-small twin bed. Your hand goes to hold the back of his neck, deepening the kiss, and this is what people write love songs about, you fucking get it now, all the metaphors and cliché words you thought were exaggerations but no, they’re not, because you’re feeling all of them all at once and you don’t ever want to leave this moment in time.

“Like” doesn’t feel strong enough, not for this. You’ve only known him for a month. Is it really possible he’s already become so integral to the structure of your heart?

You’re kissing in the early morning light and it’s hungrier than you thought your next kiss would be, because even though all the rest of your days are rolling out before you, you don’t know how many there are. He twists so he’s above you on his knees, one of them between your legs, and it’s like a reversal of that night on the roof, like you can feel the night air even in the golden midmorning hours.

“Kuma,” you murmur between kisses, and he grins against your mouth, takes your next breath and makes it his.

At some point you’re interrupted by the startled growl of your stomach, and you break apart, unable to stifle the giggles rising up in your throat. “Well.”

“Well,” Takuma echoes, grinning. He stands and offers you a hand. “Breakfast?”

Downstairs, the house is alive with idle chatter and the clinking of silverware. Kirara is seated atop the counter, legs swinging as she eats a plate of eggs, and Hakari stands beside her leaning against the cabinets. Megumi scrolls absently through his phone at the table, the dogs looking up at him expectantly from either side, and Yuji is digging through a bunch of take-out boxes. When he sees you, his whole face lights up.

“Morning!” he practically sings. “Here, eat food.”

“Where’d this come from?” Takuma asks.

“My friend dropped off breakfast,” Yuji chirps, pushing a Tupperware container of pancakes toward you. If it weren’t for the brace wrapped around his wrist, you’d have no idea anything happened. He’s his usual golden retriever self.

You smile, forking one of the pancakes onto a plate. “That’s sweet.”

Your phone buzzes, and it’s Tsumiki sending you the link to the news brief. You frown at the headline, not out of any disrespect for the writer who stepped up to cover it, but more at the fact that it’s unfortunately true.

JU senior issued DUI after crash on 34th and Olson Blvd Friday night

“What’s up?” Takuma asks, immediately noting your expression. You slide the phone across the counter, watching its screen catch the light from the kitchen window. Kirara leans over it as well and starts reading off Junpei’s story halfway through.

“Zenin, who according to a campus police report was driving under the influence of alcohol, was on the phone with an ex-girlfriend when he swerved into the opposite lane.” Her dark brows knit together in some combination of anger and disbelief. “Jesus.”

“That’s fucked,” you murmur.

Someone’s phone rings, and Megumi glances at his screen and blinks, seems to hesitate. Then he gets up and disappears down the hall. You glance at Takuma, but he just shrugs. It’s probably Gojo.

The rest of you eat and eventually make your way to the living room, scattering yourselves across the couch and carpet and chairs.

“That single last night,” Takuma says, letting Kuro jump up beside him on the couch. “Concept. Make it the title track of an EP.”

You blink for a second, startled. “Wait, for real?”

“Yes!” Takuma says, sitting up straighter. “Think about it. Cover art is one of those name tag stickers, you all sign it, wrinkle it up and crease it and take a grainy film photo. And you put the song on it with Next Fix and a couple of your older singles you and blow up.”

“Or you print one off that says hello, our name is,” Kirara pipes up, seeming excited by the idea. “Ooh, you can have an intro track like that.”

“All caps. Just to match the energy,” you say, picturing the EP cover in your mind. “HELLO MY NAME IS. No punctuation either.”

“I like it,” Kirara nods. Takuma’s got that excited shine to his eyes, and you realize he’s very in his element in this conceptual space—he really will be a good producer. He has the mind for it.

Megumi slips back into the room looking a little haphazard, disgruntled, looking anywhere but into anyone else’s eyes, and Yuji cocks his head in question. Not Gojo, then. “Who was that?”

“No one,” Megumi lies, waving him off and turning back toward the kitchen to avoid everyone’s questioning gaze. Hm.You know better than to ask, and it seems that’s the consensus, because nobody pushes it—Megumi will open up in his own time. You hope he figures it out soon.

For your part, it’s a lazy Saturday, hanging out with Takuma, Yuji, Megumi, Kirara, and Hakari, gaming and talking and generally just existing in each other’s presence. After the chaos of last night, it seems to be exactly what all of you needed.

It’s not until late afternoon that Kirara broaches the topic of the band.

She gestures at Yuji, a flapping motion that misses the mark a little because Kirara is sprawled upside-down in the beanbag in the corner. “Itadori, can you, like… drum with that?”

He shrugs, looking down at his injured wrist. “Yeah, probably!” You frown. So much of drumming is in the wrist, and you kind of figured Kirara’s question was rhetorical. You realize abruptly that Shibuya Incident is still going up against Black Flash in the finals on Friday, and if they don’t have Yuji, they’re fucked.

“Psh, don’t look like that, it’s fine,” Yuji insists, grabbing two Wii remotes and wielding them like drumsticks. He goes to bang them around, mimicking a rock beat, and you watch as his face twists into a grimace and he drops one of them. “Okay, so, update: never mind!” He grins sheepishly.

Kirara is the first one to look at you, and by the time you’ve processed what exactly it is she’s trying to say, everyone else has their eyes locked on you—including Yuji.

Oh, shit.

“Whaddaya say, girl drummer?” Kirara asks, pointing a finger gun at you.

“Oh, guys, I don’t… I don’t know, it’s your band. Yuji—”

But Yuji is the one who seems the most excited about it. He’s abandoned both Wii remotes on the floor and is now looking up at you with bright eyes and his eternal grin. “No, Skipper, please? It would be so fun! I can still do aux and stuff. But we could play together! It would be so awesome!”

“Is that even allowed?” you ask, glancing at Takuma, who’s trying and failing to hide a boyishly excited smile. “I mean, I already got eliminated.”

“Hang on,” Hakari says, pulling out his phone. It takes you a minute to realize who he’s asking. “Yeah, no, Panda says it’s whatever. Better that than not have a battle at all.”

Takuma nudges you with a knee, looking at you with steady eyes. It’s your choice, he seems to say.

“I think,” you say slowly, “I should talk to my band first. But… I’m not opposed.”

Yuji whoops so loudly you flinch a little and Takuma grins, putting his arm around you and squeezing your shoulder.

“I probably should head out,” you say, a little reluctantly. “Kinda left the roommates high and dry last night.”

Kirara salutes you, her face red from the blood rush of still being upside down, and Yuji chirps out a happy see ya!

“I’ll walk you out,” Takuma says, standing when you do. You say bye to the band and the dogs and he follows you to the front door, going as far as to step just outside with you. The door stays open just a crack as you linger, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back. He pulls you in and kisses you right there on the front step, and you smile against his lips.

“Are we, like…?” Takuma murmurs when he pulls away, cheeks flushed from the question or the cold, you can’t tell.

“Are we what?” you tease, shoving lightly at his chest.

“You know.”

“Well, if you don’t say it I’m gonna beat you to asking—”

This seems to zap whatever hesitation Takuma had right out of him, and he cuts in, “Willyoubemygirlfriend?”

“Sorry, what was that?” You know you’ve got a shit-eating grin on your face, but you can’t stop it. “Couldn’t really hear you—”

“Oh my god. Will,” he says slowly, drawing out the word, “You. Be. My. Girlfriend?”

You can see your laugh fanning out before you in a puff of warm air, and you tip your head forward into his chest, grinning. “Yes, Takuma, I would love to be your girlfriend.” You pull back and look up at him, lacing your fingers together. “I was kind of trying to get you alone all week so we could figure out what the fuck was going on. But it worked out, huh?”

“Yeah,” he grins. “It worked out.” He reaches up and ruffles your hair, laughing when you go to swat his hand away. “I was trying to get you alone, too,” he admits. “I like spending time with you, Skip. I’m pretty sure you’re the coolest person I’ve met, like, ever.”

“Ever,” you echo. “Those are some pretty lofty expectations to live up to.”

He shrugs. “You meet them all.”

Despite yourself, heat creeps up to your cheeks again.

“That was less scary than I thought it was gonna be,” Takuma confesses. Your phone rings in your pocket, and you glance at it and see Maki’s name sliding across the screen.

“Think that’s my cue.” You plant one last kiss on Takuma’s lips and turn around, throwing a “bye, boyfriend” over your shoulder. You glance back and catch him mid fist-pump, and he sheepishly shoves his hands into his pockets when he realizes you saw.

You’re still wearing his clothes, you realize as you answer your phone. Guess it doesn’t really matter, since they’re your boyfriend’s.

“Hey,” Maki says in your ear. “You comin’ home anytime soon? No rush, but we’re making lunch so we figured we’d ask.” In the background, you can hear Toge singing what you think is a dramatic rendition of Kristoff’s song from Frozen II, but you aren’t entirely certain because none of the words are right.

“Yeah, I’m literally walking through the door in thirty seconds,” you say, and Nobara’s face appears in the kitchen window. She waves excitedly and you raise a hand in return.

“Oh, sick.” The line goes dead as you open the front door. “Hey!” Maki shouts when she hears it click, and you slam it closed against the rush of cool air trying to sneak inside with you.

“Hi!” you call back.

Yuta pokes his head around the corner and grins at you. “Welcome home, our favorite breaking news reporter.”

“I didn’t actually report on anything,” you admit, kicking your shoes off and padding into the kitchen. Toge is somehow balancing cross-legged on one of the high stools, and Maki is making tacos. “Conflict of interest once I realized who it was.”

“Yeah, I saw the article,” Nobara chimes in, glancing up from her phone. “Yikes. Frickin’ Naoya Zenin. What an asshat.”

You snort. What an understatement.

“Hope he rots in jail,” Maki says in a sing-song voice, not even looking up.

“I love family,” Toge says.

You fill your friends in on the crash and the aftermath and Yuji’s wrist, leaving out some of the details about Takuma, because that feels a little invasive. And then Yuta asks the big question: “What about the band?”

“About that,” you say, taking a deep breath. You’re not exactly sure why this makes you so nervous. Maybe it’s just that these are your people, your band, and you all worked so hard and then went down together. It doesn’t seem fair that you get to go back on stage and try again and the rest of them don’t. “So. They asked me to fill in—“

“Yes!” Nobara shouts, pumping a fist in the air. “Oh, that’s so awesome!”

“Well, I didn’t say yes yet—”

“What? Why?” Toge asks incredulously. You laugh, feeling the weight lift off your shoulders. Of course they’re okay with it. These are your best friends. They’ll always have your back.

“I wanted to check with you guys,” you say, feeling silly about it now. “Just—I don’t know, to make sure. Since it’s not our band, and I didn’t want you guys to feel like I was, I don’t know, like…”

“Musically cheating?” Maki chuckles. “Skipper, this is great. You should say yes.”

Yuta solemnly puts a hand over his heart. “Avenge us.”

“Thanks, guys.” You grin as you hop up on the counter next to Nobara, pressing your shoulder to hers. “I love y’all.”

“Sap,” Maki says, which means love you too.

—

Using a drum set that isn’t yours is always a weird experience. You feel like everything is just ever so slightly off, and Yuji’s kit is an absolute patchwork of different brands of heads and shells and cymbals. You have to lower the stool because he’s taller than you. But it’s just for rehearsal, at least—you can use your own kit at The Fix.

It’s your first time in the shabby basement of Takuma’s house, and it looks distinctly different than your own. They’ve pinned old rugs to the walls as a type of sound deadener, not dissimilar to your own setup, but their lighting is a collection of Facebook marketplace floor lamps and a little disco ball that’s apparently Yuji’s. Your basement has string lights and a bunch of stools and beanbags, and this one has extra blankets all over the floor where Yuji and Kirara have made themselves at home.

Learning Shibuya Incident’s songs isn’t difficult—you’ve heard enough of their music to anticipate what’s coming, and Yuji’s there to give you pointers. Their three-song set for the final performance isn’t actually done, because they don’t feel like they have a good enough finisher, and after you’ve run the first two songs several times you mess around with potential chorus lines.

“What about that?” Kirara says after plucking out a new melody. “It’s hype enough, I think. Or it will be, once we add the rest of you.”

“I like that.” You tap out the rhythm on the snare rim, humming. “You have lyrics?” You look at Takuma, who’s staring at the ceiling like it might have all the answers if he just squints hard enough.

“Somethin’ about, like… losing your head a little bit because you caught feels,” he says. “Like, you’re down so bad you can’t function, to be dramatic about it. That triplet at the beginning of the chorus, Kirara—”

She plucks it out again, down-up-down. “On my own,” Takuma echoes, down-up-down. “Every little move I can’t pin down…”

The words tumble past your lips before you can stop them, because they’ve been circling your head for a week now. “Friends with all the dead in my ghost town.”

He spins around to look at you, a grin spreading across his face. “Yes! It’s like I’m going…”

“Going,” Kirara echoes, and they go back and forth—going, going, “out of my mind!”

“Whoo!” Yuji cheers, pumping a fist in the air. “Holy shit. That was crazy.” Takuma grabs the nearest beat-to-hell spiral notebook and starts scribbling.

Megumi starts laying out a bassline, subtly driving the beat forward a little, and you clamp the hat down on two and four to keep time. Kirara comes in with something that must be the verse, and Takuma reads off, “You left in the morning after eight, I got into work two hours late, I can’t see the sun without your face.” Bass, bass, bass. Megumi nods along and Yuji is practically dancing from his spot on the floor.

“One day and I run fresh out of light…”

Hm. You add, “Twelve hours without your hand in mine.”

“I’m dizzy and overworked and tired,” Kirara sings lowly. All three of you sing the chorus again, and you feel just like you’re at home in your own basement, writing a song in real time with Nobara and Maki and the boys.

“Oh, that slaps,” Takuma practically shouts. “Jesus. We’re gonna win.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Megumi warns, a wry quirk to his lips.

Kirara glances at her phone. “Food’s here. Break time, freaks.” She bounds up the stairs and Megumi follows to help her grab the bags—you DoorDashed Taco Bell, since Yuji never got his beloved crunch wrap on Friday.

You leave your sticks on the snare and move around the drum set, flopping down on the ground beside Takuma. “You’re good at that,” you tell him honestly, pulling the notebook away to read what he’s writing down. I met you across the darkened stage, you shook up my life, you got me made, you’re drivin’ me crazy night and day.

You can’t help thinking of the night you met him, locking eyes while he sang from the edge of the low stage at The Fix, lit up by purple-red stage lights and putting you in a trance. You scribble a few more lines after his and hand the pen back.

“You’re a poet,” he tells you, and you laugh.

“I’m a journalist.”

“Woman of many talents,” he says, echoing Maki’s words from that first night you met.

“Itadori!” Kirara shouts down the stairs.

“Coming!” Yuji leaps up and disappears up the rickety basement staircase, leaving you and Takuma alone.

“Hey,” he says, tapping the pen on the page. You glance up at him, nodding for him to keep going. “Can I take you out? Like, on an actual date?”

Something light and quick kicks around in your chest, a hummingbird loose in your ribcage. “I would not be opposed,” you say, as if the idea doesn’t make you want to kick your feet like a little kid. “When are you thinking?”

“Mm, you’re in night class prison tomorrow,” he says, tapping the pen against his lip now. “Tuesday?”

It shouldn’t make you so irrationally happy that he remembers your schedule, but logic seems to go out the window where Takuma Ino is concerned. “Tuesday’s good. Where do you wanna go?”

He shakes his head adamantly, tapping you on the nose with his pen. “Leave it to me.”

—

The only things Takuma’s told you about your date tonight are dress warm and bring your board. He meets you outside your place at four, his bag definitely bulkier than usual, his own skateboard under one foot.

You’re wearing a denim jacket over a hoodie and your favorite cargo pants with your boots, and you tucked a beanie and gloves into your bag just in case, but it’s surprisingly balmy out for late October. The wind is the worst of it.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Takuma says when you coast down the driveway and come to a stop beside him. The greeting makes you blush as much as his smile does, and he chuckles as he pushes off. “This way.”

“Where are we going?”

“Crazy,” he says. You roll your eyes. Sounds like the kind of dad joke Yuta would make.

“Well, then.” The two of you make your way down the street and around the bend, and you realize he’s taking you to the skate park. But at the entrance he keeps going, around the pit and a few of the ramps and to the largest one, back in the corner—not the one Sukuna deals under, but the one opposite. And you stop in your tracks, your longboard making a protesting schkk under your feet, when you see it.

Battery-powered string lights loop around the posts and down the underside of the ramp, and blankets and pillows are spread out across the ground. The area is sheltered from the worst of the wind, and you know your jaw is hanging open a little as you watch Takuma unload his bag—JBL speaker, two thermoses, and a bunch of food.

“Takuma,” you say, not knowing what other words suffice. “I—oh my god.” You did not peg him as being this romantic.

Then you think about his song lyrics and think maybe you should have.

He grins at you from where he’s sat down on the blankets, holding out one of the thermoses. You leave your board by one of the poles and sit down beside him, taking it and letting the warmth seep into your hands. “What is it?”

“Hot chocolate.”

“Mm.” You scoot closer to him, staring up at the layers and layers of graffiti and marker art covering the underside of the ramp. “This is maybe the sweetest thing ever.”

“I’m glad,” he says. “I had no idea what I was doing.”

“I wouldn’t know.” You take a sip of the hot chocolate—still warm. “It’s romantic. Big fan.”

“Really?” He points to where somebody drew a dick on the far side of the ramp.

“Okay, well, you didn’t have to point it out,” you smirk. “You ever done graffiti?” Looking at his mischievous smile and the beanie tugged over his head, the skateboard abandoned a few feet away, he does look like the type.

“Tagging?” He shrugs. “No. I would, though. Maybe we should.”

You hum, staring up at the arcing bubble letters and jagged black lines all over the ramp. You think you’d be horrible at graffiti, but you’ve always appreciated it, the way it sends a message and doesn’t ask for anything in return.

“This is like… alternative aesthetic stargazing,” you muse, lifting a finger and tracing the sharp lines of one of the illegible words in the air. You could stare at all this art for hours and never find all the intricacies of it.

Takuma digs around in his bag and produces a Sharpie with an “aha!”

“You’re gonna graffiti with a Sharpie?”

He throws it at you and you catch it in one hand, instinctively twirling it like a drumstick. “We’re gonna graffiti with a Sharpie,” he corrects.

And so you do.

The nearest part of the wall is covered in bright pink paint outlined in black, and it takes you a moment of squinting and tilting your head to realize it says LEAVEYOURMARK. Seems as clear of an instruction as any. So you do—scooting forward, you start to draw flowers into the thick bands of pink lettering, and soon they’re shifting to music notes, percussion notation, aimless squiggles. Takuma queues up a laid-back playlist with a few artists you recognize and many more you don’t, and you pass the pen back and forth, adding tiny notes to messages around the ramp, doodling in the empty space.

You’ve been on dates before, but this feels wholly different. With Takuma, you’re not stressing over conversation starters, worrying about commitment, wondering if you picked the right outfit, trying to gauge your shared interests with carefully planned questions. It’s just easy, existing with him like this.

After a while, you’re on your back in the mess of pillows and blankets, staring directly up at the massive painting of a skateboard with a face. Takuma is drawing something on the wall behind you.

Squinting, the green streaks under the skateboard look like that loss meme Toge sends you at least twice a week. You take a photo with the intention of showing it to him later, though maybe you shouldn’t—he gets way too proud of himself for versing you in what he calls Reddit culture.

You crane your neck to see what Takuma’s drawing and find the thick, dark strokes of a city skyline, towers and domes and boxy apartment buildings.

“Artsy,” you tell him, smiling when he appears in your line of vision upside-down. “You sure about this computer science thing? You’re too creative.”

“That’s what my mom said,” he chuckles, capping the Sharpie and sitting down beside you. As you sit up, he leans back on his hands and glances over at you. “I told her about you. She’d love you. I mean, I’m pretty sure she already does.” He hesitates. “Is that weird? Too soon?”

“No,” you grin. “I—that’s really sweet, actually. I would love to meet your mom.” Your gaze softens at the relieved smile that crosses his face. “Gotta thank her for raising a guy like you, anyway.”

You realize you want Takuma to meet your family too—you want to show him all the corners of your too-small town, show him the place you grew up. It made you who you are—it led you here, to him, after all.

“So,” you say, tilting your head. “When you say you wanna be a producer. Where do you mean? Like, LA?”

He shrugs. “Probably. But I’m sure it’s more competitive there than anywhere else. I feel like the major hubs are there and New York, but I wouldn’t mind somewhere quieter, either.” He loops an arm around you, and your head finds its way to his shoulder. “What about you, world-class journalist?”

You grin, thinking of all the places you haven’t been, all the places you want to go. “Anywhere and everywhere. I just wanna see it all. I wanna travel.”

“You should!” He sounds genuinely excited about the concept, and you lift your head, taking in the expression on his face—he looks the way he did when he was talking about making an EP, like the world is full of possibilities and he wants to see them all play out. “You’d be so good at it. Being a travel writer or international correspondent or whatever.” He clears his throat. “I read some of your stuff, y’know.”

“What?” Suddenly you’re racking your brain for every piece you’ve published in the JU Journal, overly critical of your own work in hindsight. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s good. Really good, Skip, seriously.” He reaches out and tugs a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, and you find yourself leaning into the contact.

You aren’t sure what to say, so you settle on a soft, “Thank you.” Somehow, the idea of Takuma going out of his way to read your work feels personal on the same level that writing a song together does. Taking in your words, your ideas, internalizing them. What is intimacy if not that intellectual exchange?

“I think you’re going to be a really good producer.” It’s his turn to blush. “I mean it. Not everyone has the perspective for it, or the ear. But you do.”

“Ah, well, I—”

“Am not good at taking compliments?” you cut him off, raising a brow. “Mm, we’ll fix that.” He laughs, and you’re leaning in to kiss him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it is the most natural thing in the world.

It’s late October, and you are not the least bit cold.

—

Your hands need to stop sweating before you lose a drumstick or something.

Shibuya Incident has about twenty minutes before you’re all due on stage for the finals, and The Fix is alive with students and lights and drinks and music and chatter. You’re out on the floor tonight, off to the side for easy access to the stage once Black Flash clears out.

“We’re kicking off with the reigning champions of the Battle of the Bands,” Panda booms, throwing an arm out as the band takes the stage. “You know ‘em, you love ‘em, they’re every genre and no genre, covers and originals, brass and wind. Give it up for Black Flash!”

You whoop just as loud as anyone else here, grinning at Nobara’s animated cheering from closer to the center of the floor. Miwa walks right up to the mic and takes it off the stand, the neck of her white electric in her other hand. “Hey, folks!” She brushes her bright blue hair out of her face and shouts, “Y’all ready to hear some good music?”

She has the sort of infectious enthusiasm that could work on pretty much anyone, and before you know it you and Kirara are spinning each other around to the beat of a synth-heavy pop song that sounds like it came straight out of the 80s. The instrumentals are simple but tight, and Miwa jumps around, engaging the crowd, belting like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

“They’re good,” you catch Megumi saying lowly, probably to Yuji, but Takuma’s the one who answers.

“If I tell you the power of friendship will lead us to victory—”

“No.”

“Well, okay, you’re no fun.”

Kirara turns around and plants a hand on her hip, looking at Megumi. “Fushiguro, we’re fine. We’re going out with a badass new single and not one but two percussionists. We’ve never sounded this good.”

“Just being the token pessimist,” he sighs, cracking a reluctant half-smile. “I know we’re good.”

Yuji elbows him playfully. “Mr. Realist.”

Black Flash segues into a second track, an ABBA cover that has you dancing without thinking, and Takuma catches your eye and grins, moving along with you. And all too soon it’s over, a third song come and gone, and Panda’s back up on stage and the five of you are hopping up over the side to make your way to your places. Hakari and another tech have already swapped out the kits, and you settle yourself in the comfort of your own throne, your own pedals, flipping on the snare and pounding the kick a few times.

Yuji’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, grinning at you. “You got this,” he mouths, shaking his tambourine at you.

You truly have no idea where he got a tambourine.

“What happened in Shibuya? Who the hell knows?” Panda shouts, riling up the crowd. “Give it up for Shibuya Incident!”

That’s your cue. You look at Kirara, who nods with a conspiratorial smile, and then Megumi, who plucks out a few notes in answer. Yuji’s already giving you a grin and a thumbs-up. And Takuma… he’s already stepped into his on-stage confidence, all relaxed, easygoing performer, and the look he gives you has energy coursing through your fingertips like an electric shock.

You hold your sticks above your head, clicking them loud on the lower end of the shaft, and shout, “One, two, three, four!”

You are alive.

The first track is another pulled from their EP, and you’ve listened to it probably an embarrassing number of times—you know Yuji’s part down to the sixteenth note, the roll, the rest, but you don’t hesitate to put your own spin on it, and he’s alight with the same energy beside you, messing around with a tambourine and a few other aux instruments near a mic of his own, since he’s also doing backup vocals tonight.

Your hands are moving fast, your feet pumping the pedals of their own accord, an instinct, and it’s over before you know it, a sheen of sweat already forming under the stage lights. You grin, catching your breath, wiping your hands on your jeans as Takuma introduces the band.

From your place near the back of the stage, you get more of the low feedback than anything else, but you definitely hear when he says Shibuya Incident and the crowd responds raucously in kind.

“That’s Kirara Hoshi on guitar and vocals,” he says, pointing to her as she does her little riff.

“Yeah, Kira!” You have no idea where Hakari’s voice is coming from, but it’s unmistakable.

“We got Fushiguro back there on the bass,” Takuma continues, and Megumi gives the crowd an unbothered nod, showing off his own instrument for a moment. “Itadori’s back here on aux and vocals.” He pauses to let the crowd shout for Yuji and then adds, “And filling in for him on kit, we’ve got the legendary drummer from Cursed Technique. Everyone give it up for Skipper!”

You do a quick roll, laughing as your own band goes crazy—you can’t see them in the glare of the lights, but you (and everyone else) can definitely hear them.

“I’m Ino, we’re Shibuya Incident, and this next one’s gonna slow things down a little.”

This one starts with Megumi, a laid-back track with a similar vibe to the first song you ever heard Shibuya Incident perform, but a little smoother. It’s over before you know it, and then you and Kirara are launching into the new single. Even Yuji looks like he’s having the time of life on backup vocals.

“On my own,” he and Kirara harmonize, Takuma taking the lead, and you nail the next two lines with punchy cymbal-tom hits, “all the shadows look like a death threat, everybody’s waitin’ to get hit, it’s like I’m going (going) going (going) out of my mind!”

All your worries melt away as the beat drives your movements. You’re not thinking about dropping a drumstick, missing a measure, losing the competition. You’re doing what you love with people you love, and that’s all you’ve ever wanted to do.

“Think I’m seein’ double in one eye, startin’ to think this air is spiked, no one told me that’s what love is like.” Takuma lets the guitar hang and grips the mic in one hand and the stand in the other, leaning with it as he engages the crowd, and you definitely hear Nobara screaming. “You got me going (going) going (going) out of my mind, yeah, yeah.”

It’s over so fast you can barely breathe, and you’re laughing before you know what’s happening, Yuji throwing his arm around you and shouting, “You killed it!”

Takuma turns around and locks eyes with you, and you see that same adrenaline high in his gaze that you know is in yours, and when the band stumbles off stage in Panda’s wake, he grabs your hand and pulls you into a hug. “That was crazy!” he practically shouts, which is probably good, because your ears are ringing so much you probably wouldn’t have heard him otherwise.

“Guys,” Megumi says, deadpan as always, but you can see the effects of the performance even on him, his usually stoic expression unable to mask his own excitement. “I think… we might have a shot.”

“Holy shit,” Kirara says. “Skip, write the story. Resident pessimist breaks vow of negativity—”

“Oh, shut up.” Megumi elbows her as she dissolves into laughter. In the wings, you can hear the indistinct sounds of Panda’s instructions as he starts voting, and music kicks up over the speakers. Ten minutes. Ten minutes.

It’s the longest and shortest wait of your life, and then you’re back on stage with Black Flash and Panda, and it’s fucking time.

You wonder if everyone else can hear your blood roaring, too.

“Once again, an insanely tight vote,” Panda says, a hush falling over the crowd as they wait for the verdict. “Phenomenal performances from both of our final bands, but someone’s gotta win. Give it up for the champions of this year’s Battle of the Bands…”

You imagine Maki hissing under her breath for Panda to hurry it up, Nobara’s hands clasped together as she anxiously bounces on the balls of her feet, Yuta biting his lip and trying to get Toge to shut up.

Takuma’s hand is on your shoulder, Yuji on your other side, Megumi and Kirara behind you. You glance at Miwa, and she gives you a knowing look that you can’t interpret.

You almost don’t hear it.

“SHIBUYA INCIDENT!”

You don’t know which screams belong to who—maybe one of them’s yours—but you’re swept into a massive pile of musicians drunk off victory, and you’re laughing, and Miwa’s jumping up and down and saying how that was insane, guys, you were amazing, and even Mai nods at you in congratulations, and Yuji is abruptly on Todo’s shoulders, and as the stage lights turn down a bit you finally catch sight of your own band, losing their minds on the floor.

“That’s our girl!” Maki hollers, and Yuta whoops as Toge pumps a fist in the air. You realize you can’t see Nobara, and two seconds later your questions are answered when she somehow materializes on the stage, launching herself at you with a massive grin on her face.

“You did it!” she shouts. “Holy shit, Skipper!”

Everything around you is chaos and laughter and noise, but something in the center of your being is incredibly still, and you think maybe it’s contentment. In this moment, you would ask for nothing else. It is perfect.

Nobara detaches herself from you after more profuse congratulations, turning to Miwa, and the bands make their way gradually off stage. Takuma’s hand is in yours—you don’t know when that happened—and he pulls you past the band, past the wings, all the way into the drum storage room backstage.

“That was fucking amazing,” he says. “You’re fucking amazing.” His beanie is off, tucked into his pocket, his hair as wild as his eyes as wild as your heart.

You close the door.

It’s a pulse. That’s the only way you can describe it, the rush of living energy that comes with kissing Takuma Ino behind the stage of a shitty campus bar, the heat shooting through your veins in time with the throb of the bass from distant speakers. Breath on your teeth and hands in your hair, the warmth in your gut from skin-on-skin proximity, ears ringing with the sound of your name on his lips and love-blind eyes, you’re alive and addicted to a feeling you know you’ll chase forever.

—

TWO MONTHS LATER. DECEMBER 19.

The house is alive with laughter and chatter and Michael Bublé’s Christmas album spinning from the record player. The semester is over, and tomorrow you’ll scatter for winter break, home for the holidays. Nobara insisted on throwing a party before all the inevitable road trips and flights, and the main floor is strung with multicolored lights and tinsel—Yuta’s plant, Rika, even has a tiny Santa hat on.

In addition to the actual residents of the house, Takuma and the band are here, as well as Hakari, Panda, Tsumiki, Miwa, and a handful of other friends. Megumi’s even brought the dogs, who have both taken a liking to the loveseat by the window and claimed it as their own. You’ve informed Megumi that they’re going to stay here with you forever (he said no, but you don’t take orders from him).

“Okay, I’m dropping you off at ten, right?” Yuta quadruple-checks. You’re huddled in the kitchen with him and Maki—Toge was here a minute ago, but he heard someone in the living room mention Just Dance and ran off to assert his dominance or whatever.

“Oh my god, yes,” Maki answers for you. “Yuta. You wrote it down. It’s in your calendar. You live in the same house as Skip, you’re not gonna forget.” She bumps her shoulder with his and he sighs in admission.

“I know.” He smiles at you. “Just gotta make sure she gets home for the holidays. Can’t have you turning into a sad Christmas cliché on us, Skip.”

You salute him with half a gingerbread cookie. “Appreciate it.” He’s taking you to the airport tomorrow for your flight home and refuses to take your gas money, so you’re already planning on beating him to paying for the first grocery run when you get back.

“Things with Mai are good?” you ask, glancing at Maki. She shrugs noncommittally but doesn’t correct you, which is a good sign. She and her sister met up the week after the Battle of the Bands for coffee, which you genuinely thought was a joke when she told you about it. They’re both going home for Christmas and have apparently decided to try and like each other a little more openly. And she actually showed up tonight, which you have to admit you weren’t entirely expecting.

“Yuta!” Toge hollers from the other room. “You have to come do Rasputin with me!”

Yuta groans, looking pleadingly at Maki like she can get him out of this, but she just grins. “You heard him.”

“You hate me.”

“Yeah,” Maki says fondly. Yuta, defeated, goes to join Toge in the dance of death. Maki whispers to you that she’s going to record it for blackmail and slips out after him.

Tsumiki appears beside you, drink in hand, and leans against the wall. She tilts her phone screen toward you and you see it’s the Journal website analytics.

The top story right now is yours. You grin. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize.”

“I expected it,” she admits, tucking her phone back in her pocket and gazing out across the room. “Look, I’ve been meaning to tell you. We won’t start the application process until spring sem, but, if you want it,” she glances at you, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, ���I really think you should apply for editor-in-chief, Skip.”

Your mouth opens and closes without anything of use coming out, and Tsumiki laughs. “You don’t have to, but—”

“No!” you blurt, grinning. “I—I want to. I would love to. I was planning on it. I just didn’t know you… wanted me to.” Kusakabe’s just the advisor—when it comes to actually hiring the next editor, Tsumiki has the final say. Her endorsement is as good as a job offer. “I… thank you, Tsumiki.” You look down, suddenly overwhelmed by the words. “Big shoes to fill.”

“Aw, none of that,” she says, stealing a cookie from the tray on the counter next to you. “I literally can’t think of anyone better.” With a wink, she disappears through the doorway, where Kirara and Nobara are talking animatedly. Nobara gestures to you when she catches your eye.

“Dude, our listens are shooting up!” she says, shoving her phone into your hands. Your EP dropped mid-November, six tracks recorded in the studio with Takuma and Hakari, and you’ve performed better than you ever expected. The analytics show a sharp uptick that’s probably in large part due to Panda playing your stuff on the radio station.

You whistle, leaning on Nobara’s shoulder. “Awesome.”

Kirara leans against the wall, considering. “You guys thought about what you’re gonna do next year?”

Truthfully, you’ve really tried not to. The idea of Maki and Yuta graduating is so bittersweet. But graduation means Shibuya Incident will have a hole in their band, too. Kirara will be gone.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Nobara muses. “We could join forces. If we lose Maki and Yuta and Kirara, the only thing we’re doubled up on is drums and lead.”

It’s not a bad idea. And if Yuji is track captain next year and you get that editor job, neither of you will have as much time for the band—switching off could actually be very helpful. You hum, considering. You’ll have to talk to the others.

“Oi,” Kirara says, reaching out to poke you with a socked foot. “Your boyfriend’s in lost puppy mode over there.” You glance into the living room to see Takuma scanning the room next to Megumi and the dogs, probably looking for you.

“Dumbass,” you say fondly, and nod goodbye to Nobara and Kirara before making your way over to him. The boys are halfway through Rasputin and Yuta is, much to Toge’s chagrin, kicking ass. Toge looks like he’s just run a half marathon.

Takuma lights up when he sees you, a mischievous smile appearing on his face as he intercepts you by the hall entrance.

“Oh, wow, what is that?” he asks cheekily, and tilts your chin up to see a piece of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. That was definitely Nobara’s doing. “Crazy that we just happened to—”

You cut him off, dragging him in by the shirt and kissing him, and makes a surprised sound that has you smiling against his lips.

“Crazy,” you repeat after you pull back, relishing the flush on his cheeks. Even after dating him for two months (as of today), every reaction you get out of Takuma makes your heart rate bump up a few beats. “Oh!” he says, suddenly remembering something. “Wait, c’mere, I have something for you.”

“Takuma!” You swat at him. “I told you not to—”

“Boo hoo,” he says, sticking his tongue out and dragging you toward your room, where he dumped his stuff earlier. You quietly close the door behind you as Takuma digs around his bag, standing up with his hands behind his back. “It’s Christmas and it’s been two months. You have no defense. Close your eyes.”

You do, giggling a little as he grabs your hand and presses something into it—something soft. “Okay,” he says, and you open your eyes to see a little stuffed penguin perched in the palm of your hand. It’s fucking adorable.

“Oh my god!” you cry. “Oh, he’s so cute! Takuma.” You cradle the penguin to your chest with both hands, grinning.

“It’s you!” he says, laughing. “Not official Madagascar merch, but I thought it was pretty cute. Your own lil’ Skipper.”

“I love it,” you say, making the penguin do a little dance in the air. You grab its tiny wing and poke Takuma on the nose with it. “Thank you.”

“Merry early Christmas.” His nose scrunches up a little in thought. “Early Merry Christmas? What’s the right way to say that?”

“Happy early nondenominational holiday of your choice,” you say teasingly, because the public university won’t actually say Christmas despite the decorations all around campus.

It’s a running joke among the entirety of the student body that the massive tree in the arts lobby is not a Christmas tree but a secular modern art installation. There are variations of insane alternate tree names on the school meme accounts. The knockoff JU Barstool page even got in on it, and the student groups hosting the Hanukkah and Kwanzaa celebrations.

Takuma’s answering laugh is bright and it follows you as you cross the room to your desk, pulling a box out of the second drawer. “Your turn.”

“What?” He has the audacity to look confused. “Skip—”

You hold up the penguin. “Objection denied!” The box is light and square, and you watch excitedly as he opens it.

“Oh my god,” he says when he realizes what’s inside. “No way. These are the exact ones—how did you even—?”

You had to do some investigating to figure out the precise guitar strings he uses, but what's your journalism degree for if not this?

“Who knows?” You shrug playfully. “Maybe it’s the psychic powers, maybe it’s the housemate I begged to sneak into your room and find out.”

Kirara was more than willing. “Good thing you came to me and not Itadori,” she laughed. “That kid can’t be subtle to save his life.” Takuma’s strings have been on the brink for a while, and you’re honestly shocked none of them have given out yet.

“They’re perfect,” Takuma laughs, setting the box back on your desk. “I love them. I love you.”

He says it so easily it takes you a moment to realize what just happened. He freezes, mouth opening and closing like he doesn’t know what words he’s looking for.

“I—uh,” he says eloquently. “It’s—I mean. I didn’t mean to—I mean, I didn’t mean to say it like that but I did mean it, you don’t have to say it back, if it’s too soon or you—”

Instead of cutting him off verbally, you grab him by the shoulders and press your lips to his. His eyes are wide when you pull back, despite the way he relaxed into the kiss on instinct.

“Hey,” you laugh, one hand trailing up to the back of his neck. “I love you, too.”

The excited smile that spreads across his face is slow and hesitant, like he can’t believe you reciprocate. You pull him back in and feel his grin against your lips, his hands coming to rest at your waist, warm.

“Thank god,” he murmurs between breaths. “Because I keep almost accidentally saying it, and it was gonna happen sooner or later.”

“Least it didn’t happen over the phone,” you grin, your hand skating down his arm and coming to rest in his.

Sheepishly, he admits, “Almost did. Yesterday.” Your laugh is bright and so is his answering one, and you perch your little stuffed penguin atop the guitar strings and tug Takuma toward the door.

“Okay, lover boy. Back to the outside world.”

“Lover boy, huh?” he teases. “Kay, pretty girl.”

“Couple of cheesy ass romantics we are.”

“Mm.” He presses a kiss to your temple, the action so casual and unthinking you want to melt. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The second you step back into the living room, Yuta grabs you by the elbow and presses a Wii remote into your hand.

“Oh, no. Yuta—”

The song’s been chosen for you, and Toge has passed the remote to Maki, who looks like she’d rather die than give a rousing performance of TiK ToK by Ke$ha.

“Well, at least it’s you,” she says. Toge tries to discreetly pull his phone out, but Maki gives him a death glare that could send a grown man to his grave. He nearly drops it in his hurry to shove it back into his pocket.

You snort, patting Maki sympathetically on the shoulder. “Let’s kick ass.”

Three hours later, everyone has somewhat settled down, sprawled across furniture and countertops and the carpeted floor. Yuta’s grabbed an acoustic from the basement and it’s being passed around, goofy Christmas songs overlapping with the still-spinning record player.

You enrolled here with the intention of building a new life, finding a new purpose—new faces, new music, a new place to call home. And you feel like you’ve found it. This is the point of college. You’re surrounded by the best people you’ve ever known, and your heart is practically overflowing with how much you fucking love them all.

After all, your heart is not a finite thing. You’ve just got an endless supply of affection, and you’re not scared of it.

Love is the right word, you think, letting your head fall onto Takuma’s shoulders, legs tucked up beneath you on the couch.

“I love you,” you whisper, just to say it. When he whispers your name, your real name, in the shell of your ear, something in your chest sparks a little. He makes it sound like a song.

“I love you, too.”

directory | prev.

jjk taglist open: just send me a message!

@shutuppeter @mikikkoo @reactwithjan @theclassbookworm @lilactaro @bisforbuse @risararelywrites @idkidk32 @gojodickbig @stargazing-with-choso @anonymity-222 @honeyyhuggs

a/n: that’s a wrap on out of my mind! ahh! i loved this one a lot, and it has so much spinoff potential i’m going a little crazy with it—keep an eye out for the megumi spinoff dropping soon. if you want to be alerted when it drops, lmk and i’ll put you on the jjk taglist. also, greta wrote a sukuna spinoff here—go read!

@bitchkay i need you to know your reblog tags give me life and you were fucking RIGHT ON THE MONEY with these developments

i’m not sure if i’ll start writing other fandoms or not—if y’all would want to see attack on titan or blue lock do let me know!

[vraisetzen]

Ooo I see! Glad to be the one who asked then 🤭 how about Kokupuffs reaction to reader getting hurt/wounded by another demon whilst she was away on a mission as a hashira (more-so if thought to be followed in the same storyline of one of your written work ‘Notte stellata”; when Koku’s twisted need and lust for the reader just began, like in the early chapters, seeking her out at night, only now finding her returned with wounds from an earlier encounter, the other demon’s scent reeking off of her, almost replacing his own markings upon her body..? (As if it’s some pest messing with HIS ‘prey’, if it makes sense)

Or, perhaps, any smutty, yandere type short fic of Michi in a modern au setting and reader? (TBH, would love to see more yandere Kokushibo or Michikatsu x reader fics/hcs💔 love to see just how they’d depict he’d act..)

𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑺𝒌𝒊𝒏 — 𝑨 𝑲𝒐𝒌𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒃𝒐 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕

Authors's Note: Thank you for the request! I recently completed a Yandere!Kokushibo fic (that you can find here, if you have not seen it!), but I also wanted to go back to your first prompt, which was too good to pass up — writing Kokushibo in the early parts of Notte Stellata was such a throwback!

Tags: NSFW, 18+, Mature content (steamy, but no smut), Mentions of blood and wounds, No use of (Y/N), Early Notte Stellata interlude — but it can definitely be read as a standalone!

Summary: Kokushibo is a little more possessive than he would let on.

One of the things you dreaded the most after a mission was tending to your wounds; even though you were a Hashira and therefore escaped the worst of any demon attacks, especially those on the lower end of the hierarchy, it was inevitable that you returned home, some way or another, with a scratch or two — nicks on your arms from snagging your sleeve against a thorned bush, scrapes on your knee from dodging a Blood Demon Art.

It was part and parcel of your creed, and you had long become accustomed to sitting in the darkness of your kitchen, lit by the flame from the stove, as you dabbed these small wounds with a soaked linen cloth of carbolic acid before wrapping them up in bandages. Unlike Sanemi, you took no pride in the scars that littered your body; as a young woman, they invited too many unwanted stares and questions from older women in town, and thus you took extra care for them to heal properly.

The back doors to your kitchen swung open with a bang, shaking the windows and rattling the pots in a frazzled din. Startled, you turned your hear around in fright, eyes wide as you beheld the silhouette that stood in the whipping wind and the light of the moon, hands hovered between tucking the bandage around your arm and throwing the bottle at the intruder.

Kokushibo crossed from the moonlight into the threshold of your house, his grand stature partly aglow by the same flickering balefire that cast your wounds into clarity. Gathering yourself, you returned to your bandages, slipping the knot beneath the layers as you kept your eyes on him. Though Kokushibo never extended you the courtesy of a greeting on his visits, his silence, coupled with his wandering gaze as he took in your presence, seemed to precede something withheld on his end.

There was a sizzling tension in the air not unlike the running currents you felt when standing beneath an electric lamp — a trepidating heatwave that lingered closer to your skin than static. The layered strands of Kokushibo's hair stood in a dark halo around his fearsome countenance, the all-seeing look of his eyes depthless and revealing not a single word. Your gaze studied his dark expression, breath hitching as you cleared your throat, breaking the spell of silence that fell over the two of you.

"It's alright; nothing more than a scratch," you assured to nobody in particular; you had no idea why you chose these words — only that you felt the need to shatter the frost that had glazed over the both of you.

Kokushibo took a step forward, the hem of his hakama brushing against your bare calves as he glared down at you; typically you would have caved under the intensity of his overwhelming presence, your knees folding beneath the weight of his unnatural gaze, but you kept your feet planted firmly on the floor, your hands curling into fists.

"Would you like to wait inside?" you added — another redundant statement. "I'll be re-"

A squeak escaped you when Kokushibo suddenly lunged for the juncture between your neck and shoulder, burying his nose into your collar and taking a seething breath. His exhalations fanned hotly over your skin, and at once you clung onto the front of his kimono to stop yourself from being knocked off your feet.

"Wha-?" you eeked out, but your words were cut off by him once more as he gritted into your ear:

"Who was it?" he demanded, arms wrapping around your back as he tugged you close against his broad chest, the heat of his body seeping through both your clothes. A trickle of sweat rolled down your neck as you released a shuddering breath, words failing to come forth.

"Who?" Kokushibo pressed, the thrum of his baritone sending a shiver down your spine.

Then, without warning, he placed his lips over a nick on the side of your neck, drawing a hiss from you as the sting of his tongue painted over the salty tang of broken skin. The groan that escaped his lips was one of displeasure as Kokushibo tightened his grip on your shoulder.

You knew instantly what he was referring to — the demon who had drew these nicks and grazes on you. In truth, it was no more than a lowly creature, dispensible with a few draw of Breaths and the quick slash of your blade; but he had been rather troublesome, his Blood Demon Art being some small, seed-like bullets that he expelled from his clawed nails. You had managed to dodge most of them, but the ones that had caught on your uniform had dug into your skin, stinging as much as an ant's bite.

Could the lower demon have left his scent on you? An Art, perhaps, for him to mark his victims and trace them in the event they tried to escape? As far as you were concerned, you could not smell a single offensive note on you. Kokushibo's response, however, suggested otherwise. His scarlet irises glowered at you as he expected your answer.

You took a deep breath, hands loosening from the front of his kimono. "Just a demon. A weak one."

"And you killed him," Kokushibo said, more as a confirmation of fact than a question.

Despite your flustered state, you were rather affronted by the insinuation of his words. "Of course I did — I am a Hashira, you know."

"Good," Kokushibo groused, angling his face to bestow a line of kisses across your jaw, each more insistent than the last. His hair tickled your chin, while yours on the nape of your neck prickled in anticipation when he finally landed on the corner of your lips. "Because I would have killed him myself had you not."

With those words, he sealed his lips over yours, stealing any words of protest from you. His fingers brushed up your arm to where you had tucked the knot beneath the coil of bandages, unfastening it with a dismissive flick of his wrist. The strips of cloth fluttered down between your feet.

Kokushibo took a step forward, and then another — cajoling you back until your tailbone hit the wooden counter. His hands were impatient, but sturdy, as they undid the silver buttons of your uniform and revealed your pallor beneath: smooth, though marked by small flecks of red from where the tiny cuts had already dried. Conscious of how he was looking unflinchingly at you, you hovered your hand over your front, uncertain of how to proceed as your ear suffused a deep pink.

It's not as bad as it looks, you wanted to say, although you know that your wellbeing was the least of his concerns. The darkness of Kokushibo's gaze deepened as he edged forward, placing his parted lips on your neck once more; this time, you felt the scrape of his canines on your skin, and you tensed in anticipation.

Yet, the sting of his bite — so familiar when he decided to be rough with you — did not come. Instead, Kokushibo suckled over the small marks peppered over your skin, breaking them again with his lips as if drawing poison from a wound; he lavished wet kisses over them as he drifted over your front, ripping your underclothes with the ease of running his fingers through a field of silvergrass.

One by one, he pored through each mark no matter how small, leaving no patch of your skin unturned as he tasted the fresh scars and replaced them with his own. On your thigh, you felt the twitch of his cock as it stirred with arousal — and once more Kokushibo growled, this time rich with hunger and lust. The bare salt of your skin, together with the tang of your blood, was an alchemical potion of desire, turning his irritation into shadowed passion with each bite and lick.

You released a shuddering breath as he coaxed you backward still, his hands slipping from your perked nipples and the tense planes of your belly to the back of your thighs. In one heave, Kokushibo guided you onto the table; keeling backward like a cornered lamb as he encroached forth, you spread your legs for him to stand between them.

You dared not cast your eyes down to your front despite the cloud of desire that shadowed your bodies for fear of glimpsing the bruises he left over in place of marks you gained. Instead, you met your gaze with his and licked your lips, your pants coming in sharp bursts.

Tipping your chip with his index, Kokushibo kissed you fiercely on this mouth — the table creaked beneath your weight and his sudden movement, and you clung onto him for fear of tipping over. But he remained steadfast as you seized the opportunity to divest him of his kimono, shrugging them inelegantly over his shoulder and tugging them down his arms.

With a careless toss, you threw his clothes to the side, and instantly hear glass crashing.

Pulling away sharply, you looked over to find that, in your haste and clumsiness, you had brought both the bottle of carbolic acid and Kokushibo's clothes to the floor. The air reeked of antiseptic, and you pushed yourself up with your hands.

"I need to clean this up," you muttered as Kokushibo leaned forward, nonchalant to the mess you made.

"That can wait," he beckoned, a hand firm on the small of your back to hold your frame against his. As if to reiterate, you felt the pulse of his erection along your inner thigh, in tandem with the first twinge of arousal in your sex. "Come."

His offer was almost impossible to resist, and you felt your arms slacken for a hair's breadth before clearing your addled thoughts with a few forceful blinks. Palms on his chest, you said: "No, I have to — there's glass all over the floor. What if we hurt ourselves?

"I won't."

"But I could."

The kitchen was stark silent as Kokushibo took in your words, and you wondered if you might have taken a step too far; his eyes, amber with dilated irises, seemed more frightening than ever, though you could now read beyond the words carved on them. He was not angry, no; he had not been when he had seen those marks on your body, and while he might have been bristled by this unexpected interlude, you remained silent and firm.

Eventually, Kokushibo took a step back; he shirked himself of his underclothes, and retreated further until you could slide off the table. Briefly, you looked up at him through your lashes, and caught a clandestine second where his eyes dropped for a split second to your body, the language behind his gaze unchanged, a tome's worth of words that you have only begun to decode. But with a flutter of his lashes, you found it indecipherable once more, their definitions slipping from your outstretched fingers.

You contented instead with grabbing a rag from the counter to sop up the spill.

"Don't keep me waiting," he said, with hardly a glance back at you, slipping past the kitchen doors to where your bedroom awaited.

Thank you for reading! For my longer writings, visit my AO3 here.

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED NCT FICS OF AUGUST 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my nct recs of august! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Drunk In You || @hyuckiefluff💕✅

↳ was Mark Lee’s new haircut really the drop that would tip the glass over and make you spill how you really feel about him?… Well, the haircut and also the alcohol.

Flustered || @daydreamingyuta💕✅💯

↳ Prompt: 17 “Please help me pick out an outfit.”

Listen To Me || @daydreamingyuta💕✅

↳ Prompts: #1 “I couldn’t be more in love with you.” and #11 “It’s two in the morning, why are you here?”

Live A Little || @writemekpop💕✅

↳ You knew that a holiday with your best friend Ten would be wild… you just didn’t expect to fall in love with him.

It's Raining, It's Pouring || @elix8r🔞💔✅💯

↳ Hating Mark could almost be considered your part-time job ever since Taeyong adopted him. But on one fateful night, a raging storm strikes, and with Taeyong nowhere to be found, you find yourself seeking an unlikely source of comfort - your annoying cheetah roommate.

Sorry, Who Is Mark Lee? || @dropsofletters💕💔✅

↳ she swore up and down on the night of her graduation as a doctor that she would never work with dr. mark lee. not under any setting. after all, she’s not here for people who get everything served on a silver platter just for being…nice? however, years after their graduation, mark comes back into her life not brushing his hair and talking about a new project that they are supposedly going to be working on for the next three weeks, and all hopes of not working with him die down when she realizes…maybe, she had not truly known who he was. sorry, but who the hell is mark lee?

Anon Request || @yeow6n💕✅💯💯

↳ Anon Req: have you seen the tiktok of a girl who made her boyfriend a little sprout to put on his gaming headset ??? its so cute and reminded me of hyuck 🤏🏻

Concert Tickets || @onyourhyuck💕✅💯

↳ Your boyfriend Donghyuck is a massive Bruno Mar’s fan, so you bought two concert tickets.

I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You || @martiniblues💕✅

↳ while mark is away on tour, you find yourself looking back at old memories of you two. you have grown used to spending these moments alone while mark is gone, but little do you know he is doing the same thing miles and miles away.

Love On Me || @neocitybooty🔞✅

↳ You have to choose between fulfilling the needs of your lovable boyfriend or finishing your work for the day. 

Stolen Kisses || @writemekpop🔞💕✅

↳ Sneaking off to have sex is tough with a kid in the house.

Surprise Visit || @mingyuonthemoon🔞💕✅

↳ mark pays you a surprise visit after not seeing each other for awhile

Taking Care Of My Baby || @onyourhyuck💕✅

↳ Your boyfriend Jaemin takes care of you while you’re bed ridden with a fever flu.

Two Makes A Team || @sxcret-garden🔞💕✅

↳ When both your boyfriends distract you by asking you for kisses, one thing leads to another and what you had planned to be some alone time with a good book turns into something even better…

Where Were You || @onyourhyuck🔞💕💔✅

↳ Your sweet loving boyfriend is always by your side during your bad days. What if one day, he can't be there for one of your worst?

Your Red Lipstick || @ihaechans💕✅

↳ Kisses, kisses, kisses. That’s all your boyfriend wants. When you refuse to give him the one thing he craves, he won’t leave you alone, begging and begging until you give in.

Worth A Lie || @ruwriteshour💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Always wallowing yourself in self-pity, you start to doubt yourself and you think it's time to end your relationship with Mark with a lie. He'll have no choice but to move on from you. It will work... right?

His Karma || @onyourhyuck🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (no summary, but really do give this one a read!)

Adult Time || @nctsplug02🔞💕✅

↳ Anon Req: hihi i'm not sure if requests are open but can you write more of milf reader with jaemin + sungchan as the kids? ♡

Bruises and Ballet Shoes || @luvyeni🔞💕✅💯

↳ jeno gets into a fight and almost misses your preformance

Close The Door Behind You || @jadeobvi🔞✅

↳ Jeno is your strict older brother who has banded Jaemin from dating you, let alone looking at you. But one night you both can’t take it anymore. All the tension has finally exploded, but you have to be careful. God forbid Jeno hears.

Fever Pitch || @nctsworld🔞💕✅💯💯💯

↳ your world is shaken up (literally) when you meet the handsome man guilty of the accidental baseball smack to your head. after a comforting meet-cute and realization that he’s the city’s ace pitcher, you two go on a date. and by the end of the night, mark thinks he’s falling for you faster than any pitch he’s thrown before.

Forget Me Too || @yutaholic🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Back home after years away, you just want to fulfill your obligations as your best friend’s maid of honor and split. You don’t want to see Johnny, though you are guaranteed to run into him at some point. You broke his heart not too long ago and the last thing he ever said to you was that he hated you. And you don’t blame him.

New Religion || @suhnnyupsidedown🔞✅💯💯

↳ something along the lines of Taeyong being a married professor and him ending up sleeping with one of his students? who also happens to be sleeping with Johnny?

Racer || @smileysuh🔞💕✅💯

↳ You feel like a chew toy caught between two rottweilers, and it kills you to give Jaehyun one last look before turning your back on him, following your brother to his car. Jaehyun is watching you as you get in, and when you close the door, you let out a deep breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “I know, what a killer race,” Johnny grins, starting his engine. “Could have been better though, he could have actually died.”

Sin & Obsession || @onyourhyuck🔞✅💯 (pt 2)

↳ You’re a faithful good girl. You attend church and you stay out of trouble. Mark is a guy that attends your church and what you don’t know is that he’s been obsessed with you for a while…

Two For One || @goldyeokki🔞💕✅

↳ you come home after a long day to your two boyfriends in skimpy maid outfits. while they fussed over you, you had completely forgotten that it was your birthday. good thing that they had something special prepared for you on your day.

Volleyball For Dummies (In Love Edition) || @jaeminvore💕✅

↳ Mark Lee has been called many things. Dedicated was one of them and that dedication lead him into joining NeoTech College's well coveted Women's Volleyball team, the NeoTech Tigers, as their manager in hopes of winning the infamous setter, Y/N's heart. But there was one problem, being academically inclined did not come with the extensive knowledge of anything related to the sport and to put it simply, Mark Lee doesn't know shit about Volleyball.

Boyfriend Material || @mochidoie💕💔✅

↳ Although you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other before this class project, he asks you to be in a fake relationship in order to prove to his longtime crush that he is boyfriend material.

Getting Even || @ofjunemoment🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Haechan is notorious for his pranks. Who can forget about the one time the campus fountain was bleeding red? You were weary of never getting on his wrong side, but when you get to know him better, it seems like behind all that front he's a sweet and caring guy. That is until you get a bucket of water dunked on you straight after he promised he wouldn't pull something on you. You're not only pissed that he had fooled you like this, but that he chose such a simple prank.

Just Friends || @lonelyharmonies💕✅

↳ what happens when you wake up in someone else’s bed after getting drunk in a party?

What The Puck || @choerrypuffs💕💔✅

↳ you hit the university’s star hockey player with your car. shenanigans (and maybe even a little romance) ensue. 

Mark Texts || @justalildumbpling💕✅

↳ (just some cute ol mark texts)

NCT 127 Texts || @12926💕✅💯

↳ sending a nude & saying "it wasn't for u"

NCT Dream Texts || @ohmygs-blog💕✅💯

↳ “last night was amazing. oops wrong person”

NCT Dream Texts || @ohmygs-blog💕✅

↳ “sorry can’t hangout w you this month, haven’t gotten paid yet!!!”

NCT Dream Texts || @hugs2doie💕✅

↳ nct dream when you hit them up with a “we need to talk”

NCT Dream Texts || @hugs2doie💕✅

↳ “i was talking to my other boyfriend” prank on the dreamies

Do check out all of the other NCT Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[rahleeyah]

How do you handle it when you get comments on your stories that are hurtful/upsetting? I just started posting and I'm having a hard time handling this! I don't know how you do it 😥

Oh friend I'm sorry you're dealing with hurtful comments that's the worst 💔

If it's genuinely mean, delete it. If they're a registered user you can block them and they can't leave any more comments. If they're really trying to hurt you, the worst thing you can do is respond; don't feed the trolls. When they realize you won't rise to the bait, they'll get bored and move on.

I find i don't get a lot of intentionally hurtful comments, but I do pretty regularly get comments that I think are meant to be encouraging but come off hurtful instead, and that's harder to deal with. Like for example I get "this chapter was too short!" pretty regularly. And I think what people mean, in the context of the rest of the comment, is that they enjoyed what they got so much they didn't want it to stop, but it comes off accusatory instead. My long fic chapters are always, always, always, for the last seven years, 2000-2500 words. Always have been. That is how much I can write in an hour after work and that is how much time I have to post in a day. I've got one hour from 430-530 in which to post and I do it as often as I can, and being told it's not enough starts to weigh on me. Especially bc it's the same amount it's always been! It's tempting when something like that comes up to point out how hurtful it is. Most of the time I don't; if I keep getting it from the same person over and over, though, sometimes I snap and say something about it. I always regret it; the person (usually) didn't mean any harm, and after I point out that it's hurtful, usually either they end up hurt, or I do, and it doesn't do any good.

We've talked about this before; I don't respond to every comment because I get overwhelmed and anxious and overthink it. I am grateful for each and every one, and I desperately need those comments in order to find the motivation to keep going, but I get too scared to respond. Sometimes I think if people see too much of me they won't like the work any more. So I don't put the me into the work. I let it speak for itself.

Hold on I've gotten off track the point is

Don't assume malice on the part of the commenter. It's very human, especially in this day and age, to be defensive, to be on the look out for people trying to attack us, but they often aren't. If there's any chance the comment was meant in good faith, take it as such, and leave it alone. If you're unsure about it you don't have to respond; you can let it lie, and time will pass and you'll forget about it. 99% of the time, this is how I handle comments that I find hurtful but are not overtly mean. Sometimes I slip up (this is especially likely if it's first thing in the morning, 6 am Leah is a terror) and I can say, from experience, you'll be happier if you let it go.

A thing my dad always says: be the duck. Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back, and keep moving. Don't let it weigh you down 💜

[hermesserpent-stuff]

Posting here to not forget. Just snippets of ideas and their order. Spoilers ahead

Killing the red queen and then Hiccup's out and down

Clelia sails towards the Acumens home island at Ryker's request, they are going to talk to the soothsayer about their futures and if they are a good match

Harsh winter (forgot what I called it in fic) comes early and she gets wrecked on sweet swarmer island

Ryker is : 💔💔💔💀

Hiccup is out cold till mid harsh winter

Clelia makes friend with dragons after murderizing a threat dragon- she still plans to go back yo Ryker (building her as a foil to worst mom of the year award winner 20 years in a row valka)

Harsh winter ends and hiccup is a bit better.

Hiccup and Dagur shot down but only hiccup and toothless are capture by the grumborns

Clelia flies from the island she's been stuck on with a sweet swarmer scout which is a sub part of the species interested in starting a new hives.

Clelia lands on the bloodwrath island and ends up looking after Dagur for a tiny bit before convincing him to let her go talk on his behalf to the Grimborns + " if Ryker was knowingly trying to kill you, despite having looked so hard for you, he is not the man I thought had won my affections."

????

????

Profit.

And gods

[devilagent]

💔Least favorite ship for the muse?

i think out of all the pairings with him, i'll say the most least favorite that came to mind which is Nicholas/Angelique

i got a separate ask regarding the both of them so i will save a lot of my ramblings for when i reply to that one! but i'll keep this one a bit more brief for now.

i have expressed this privately already, but i view nicholas and angeliques relationship as disastrous siblings. i am aware that nicholas being her brother is merely a ruse ( which i will also discuss more in the other reply ) - but even with that being said i enjoy viewing their dynamic from a #worst sibling ever lens

i may been influenced by not so lovely fics i have read on this pairing as well, most often ending up abusive on nicholas' part toward angelique ... which doesn't really sell the ship for me. i do understand the appeal that people have towards them in a romantic sense, as for me i view their relationship in a more nuanced way than that!

my secondary choice - which may come as a surprise to some people maybe considering how passionate i am about them - is Maggie/Nicholas

don't get me wrong, there is no doubt in my mind that nicholas would treat her like a queen and she could do no wrong in his eyes, it is already canonly established that he treats her with upmost love, tenderness and devotion. and his feelings for her are sincere, the closest he has ever been to sincerity. but even with that being said, i cannot see them together as an actual couple. for multiple reasons, none of which has to do with nicholas feelings or how he'd act in a relationship with her. nope! his devotion to maggie is unquestionable.

a very glaring reason would be the fact, simply put, that nicholas butted into maggie & joes pre-existing relationship together and sabotaged the both of them. he inflicted a lot of suffering onto joe in particular, not only to get him out of the picture but to appear like a compassionate shoulder to cry on for maggie. it is very much on purpose, because joe is a good man, and nicholas wanted to appear the same way to attempt to win over maggie.

another reason, which is probably the biggest factor of all, is that maggies heart belongs to joe. that is not to say that she doesn't have any feelings for nicholas, i do believe she does even in spite of the fact nicholas set it up that way, however her feelings for him really pale in comparison to her absolute love of joe haskall. he is truly the love of her life! and he was with her long before nicholas entered into the picture.

maybe in an AU scenario it'd be interesting, although i don't really have much interest to explore that personally. i have said this many times privately, but i think nicholas as a character would benefit greater by accepting he cannot be with her.

i do feel that he will always love her though, no matter whether he can be with her or not. it'll be difficult for him. but for the sake of progressing his character forward and allowing character growth, he needs it. his character circles around maggie whereas i think she was a good catalyst for his character vs revolving around her.

[porkcutletbowl44]

Took me a while to finish reading chapter 15 and 16 since I literally forgot I had tumblr or any social media this week, but I finally read them and I'm crying so much now-

The way you mix aganst with comfort in chapter 15 made me cry a whole sea. I'm currently on my period so whenever mama was upset I was sobbing even louder than her😭 and I fucking loved the chapter. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate even more Simon on this fic but you proved me wrong, AND HE MAKES ME FEEL SO CONFUSED TOO. I mean, dude why the fuck are you acting like that??? It makes me so mad when he's saying "Oh, I was just playing with you like we used to-" you divorced her without even giving an proper explanation to her and engaged with another woman. I'm really frustrated that he only notices he's making things worse when they're already bad💔 but Keegan's a sweetheart compared to him.

Honestly I love whenever he's in scene, he's just better than Simon in many ways and it makes me so emotional when there's comfort/agnst with him involved. A great thing about chapter 15 in my opinion it's when mama says she misses Simon, even when he's being a huge asshole, because it makes her seem even more relatable to. Had a very shitty partner in the past, and as someone who has attachment issues, it's hard to forget and move on even when they did some traumatizing stuff (I better now btw), and the fact that's noticeble that she's still struggling to move on makes her so more real than most of MC in fanfictions. I'm very excited to see her moving on from her past relationship and fully giving a chance to have a new one with Keegan, they deserve a happy ending😞💔. I also liked the fact that mama's slowly knowing a bit more about him, and I hope in the future we see a bit more of these "silly" and calm interactions between them.

About chapter 16, it make me feel so many mixed feelings. It made me sad, frustrated, happy and so many other things I can't quite tell. The first part(when mama and Keegan are with the Ghosts) made me so happy, mostly because Hesh is my favorite character in CoD Ghosts and I was itching to see more of mama's interactions with them since the last time they showed up in the fic. I was so mad when Ghost showed up after that, he only appears in the WORST moments😭. I was shocked when Simon implied that Keegan would do anything with her without her consent, I even had to reread it because I was in pure disbelief on what I had just read. It also made me even more confused and curious about his behaviour towards mama. He acts like they're still married sometimes, and in chaptee 15 he even showed that Collen makes him annoyed, like if he was going to replace his ex-wife with another woman, couldn't he at least pick a more tolerable one??? His behaviour makes me even more furious and confused, and I really wish we see some of his reassons to have a divorce soon because it's making me so gsjdhskshsihxs(idk what else can describe what this man makes me feel besides of that😞)

And talking about words, I'm fucking obssessed with your writing and the variety of words you use to portray feelings, places and EVERYTHING. Don't think I mentioned it before but it's amazing to see different words being used to talk about the same things, helps me a lot to increase my vocabulary. And btw I'm the annon who made you cry after sending a gigant text about chapter 14 and Far From Perfect as a whole, sent a annonymous ask first because I was lowkey worried I would get ignored because my ask was ridiculously big(already happened once with another writers💔) so I decided to send a annon ask first. But going back to the fanfic, the flashback we had with Price made me start to inquire if Simon had ever commented about anything related to the divorce, engaging with another woman to him or anything related to it, even if in a rhetorical manner. I think that's the first flashback that made me truly curious about Simon's past and what made him decide to have the divorce, before that mostly they only made me feel melancholy about it, and probably it's my favorite flashback so far.

Anyways, I hope you can continue with this wonderful fanfiction since it makes me insane(in a good way) to see whatever happens next, and I also hope you can fully recover from your ear infection soon💞💞💞

Okay first off, I love you. JUST TAKE IT, I DONT NEED IT 🤲🏻🩷🥹

I do promise there will be lots of interactions with Keegan and mama just chilling, hanging out and relaxing, the fluffy stuff, there will most definitely be more GHOSTS and 141 stuff.

And I feel as though I should say that I probably won't ever delete a ask, I haven't received any negative feedback in my inbox or double questions that I'd have to answer twice AND I ABSOLUTELY WILL NEVER DELETE A ANON RANT BECAUSE THEY MAKE MY WHOLE DAY 😍

I'm sorry for your sadness (there will be a lot of angst) BUT THERES COMFORT AND FLUFF TO EVEN IT OUT

I'm low-key just obsessed writing the interactions, Fawn and Keegan is TOO CUTE TO NOT WRITE, And soft Johnny EUGHHH💖 (I also can't help but write the confusing stuff for Simon just to hear the theories 👀)

Simon's just a little silly, don't mind him 🫢😅

PLEASE TAKE CARE! AND THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL SUBMISSION! 🫶🏻

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I had to look up that "The House Rules" song (I've never heard that before lol), it's such a cool bop 🔥🔥

It is absolutely disheartening when the character tags are so saturated with shipping that it's like those two characters can only come in ~romantic~ package deal. Just refreshing the newly updated fics on the "Doctor Strange (movies)" tag on Ao3 is enough to see what's the preference...

Yeah I've always preferred to go for platonic stuff 😂 for quite some time I managed to put up with shipping long enough to enjoy some fics on that side, but now I'm going through a period of complete romance repulsion. In times of desperation I've even sifted through "not Steve friendly" things, but never managed it for long :P

I want to shake your hand for managing to survive as a fan of Doctor Strange, Steve Rogers and Loki while being anti Tony Stark 🤝 That must be even more rough than just not enjoying shipping 💔

At this point I should probably sign myself. Hm. Perhaps an emoji. (goes through the food emojis) I effing love nigiri. Here, have some nigiri XD

- 🍣

I'm glad you liked the song, it's a classic!

I don't use Ao3 but I can assume all his tags are with Clea. It's very tempting, not gonna lie, given that it's Charlize playing her and she's such a fantastic actress, can't really blame the fans there 😜 But from what I remember when I used to browse the site, it was kind of difficult to find something that wasn't Stephen with Christine or Stark or someone else. It's not easy to navigate when you're in the middle of a "romance repulsion" as you put it but all you see is ships everywhere. I think that's one of the reasons I stopped reading fanfic altogether.

And the worst part about this is that every time I've seen someone try to discuss the overabundance of ships, things get heated so freaking quickly. It shouldn't be so hard to try and understand each other, I'm sure shipping is great for those who do it but there's nothing wrong with someone saying they don't like romance or they would like something else or they prefer their characters to stay as friends and nothing more. It almost feels like for some people it's part of their identity and they see it as a personal attack whenever we express we prefer platonic stuff to romantic, which is a shame because at the end of the day we all want the same thing: for those characters to have a connection of some sort.

I commend you for browsing the 'not Steve friendly' part of fic though, I could never do that myself! I've tried... but I'm so biased when it comes to Steve and it would just make me mad 🤷‍♀️😂

It is rough to be a fan of those 3 and not like Stark, I can assure you. The IronStrange ship shocked me the first time I saw it and it still does, I just don't see how people can think Stephen would like Stark or worse, they claim they're the same? I don't get it, they're nothing alike. They say the same about Steve even though he spent most of the movies looking at him like he was a pest or something, but since he was never allowed to call him out in later movies (especially in IW/EG where he went from trying to stop him from murdering his best friend to calling him "Earth's best defender") it is assumed he realized his mistake and started to like him. Um... I don't think so!

Oh, and thank you for the nigiri! You're my nigiri anon now 😂👌

[gojonanami]

Sab, my dearest, my beloved, the light of my life,

I know I'm two weeks late (and that a certain professor would be on my ass for it) but I had the wonderful idea of re-reading the whole Prof Geto series before reading part 6, thinking it would make for the best emotional impact and after doing just that I have to say... my hypothesis was correct. There wasn't a single second where I regretted my decision (except, maybe when I had to read the breakup scene again 😭), not a single dull word in the +90k masterpiece you wrote (isn't that the length of a novel!?), the flow of your writing is just so good, the dialogue, the internal conflict of the characters... I loved all of it, Sab. This series holds a special place in my heart and I'll probably read it time and time again in the future ❤️❤️❤️

And this chapter– god. I really have no words, it was just a whirlwind of emotions. I was giggling and kicking my feet in the hair like a teenager and I even cried at some point. I loved the beginning, the raw emotion of seeing each other again after what happened, the longing... the way Suguru and Yuta felt so conflicted about their feelings for the reader, and her getting jealous over Mei Mei... omg.

I also loved how Geto helped her with the citations of her dissertation (they were my worst nightmare during undergrad) and hated how Yuta broke up with her right after she presented it. How could he ruin such and special day like that!!! (Ofc I know it made sense to have it happen right then, but gosh 😭💔) but anyway, regarding Yuta... I love how you've set up his part. I'll love to read it when the time comes ❤️❤️

Oh! And the way Yaga *knew*. Now I can't believe that the whole reader assigned as a T.A thing wasn't tampered by him in some way– he had to play a part in that, and I bet he wasn't too fussed with them sharing a hotel room, as long as Suguru was happy hahah.

And then, the passion in his office, the reconciliation and the ending... I had to stop reading a couple of times because I was getting way too emotional, Sab. It was beautiful. I can't wait to see more of them in the extra credit fics (!!) I really hope you make a proposal one <3

I wanted to thank you for writing this series, I've loved it more than I could ever expect to and I believe it came to me in a point of my life where it just... made sense. I was stressed and unsure about continuing in academia and I believe I told you a few months back that I was applying to grad school... well, I got accepted and then hired as a research assistant at the same university!! This is as close as it gets to me living reader's life though I'll keep living vicariously through her for a while longer, I think.

Anyway– I believe I'm babbling now. I just want to thank you again for writing this wonderful series. I'm so excited for Prof Gojo and all the wonderful things you'll write in the future, Sab ❤️

baby, love of my life, the sun to my earth

haha I think prof geto would more than forgive you — especially after the diligent work you did rereading — dare I say he would be very impressed—and I am too omg

I cannot believe you read all 90K+ that’s insane and it means so much to me 😭🥹 thank you so much — it truly means the world to me because I had so much fun writing it!! it was really a special series to me and will continue to be as I write more extra credit fics :).

ahhh I can’t believe you cried 😭 I’m sorry but also thank you haha. it’s the biggest compliment 😭🥹 I really wanted to convey both yuta and suguru’s conflicted emotions — and I’m glad they came across 😭 writing mei mei was so fun because it was very spur of the moment — and I love jealous reader 🥹🫣

citations are truly a nightmare and when I thought of the idea to have that be reader’s crisis, it was so perfect because I think so many of us in academics can relate to that 😭 we all deserve a suguru. I can’t wait to write yuta!!! it’s def gonna have stuff from prof Geto like the repercussions of his relationship with reader and it will be fun :)

hahah yaga knowing was also spur of the moment — it just felt full circle since so many times he’s also pulled them apart in some way 😭😭😭

thank you 🥹💕 I’m glad you enjoyed the reconciliation scene — it was so important to me to get that so right. and I really took my time and I’m glad you think I got it right 🥹💕💕I’m def writing the proposal!!! Don’t worry :)

aww baby thank you for reading 😭🥹 I’m so glad this series could help you in any small way that it did. omg I do remember and that’s amazing!!!! Congratulations I’m so so proud of you (and professor geto is too)!!!

writing this series also came at the perfect time for me because it just was such a wonderful thing to post a new part and see everyone’s reactions — it truly made my day. I especially loved your asks as well 🥹💕

thank you for being here and sticking around. I can’t wait to start writing more of professor gojo — I think you guys will really like it 🫶🥹💕

[uglypastels]

the yearning in the escort fic is gonna make me vomit from sadness. i know they probably would never see each other again and that’s the worst part like damn imagine thinking about someone every day and you’re never gonna see them again. OH MY GOD YK WHAT lemme just make it even more tragic, so yk the inspiration behind before sunrise right? how the writer met some girl and they hung out for a day and he wrote the film and tried to find her only to find out she ended up dying💔what if eddie or reader tried to find each other years later on and it turns out something tragic happened to one of them WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF IM SICK😭

Ngl it took me a bit of a readthrough to realise what you meant with the reference because i actually never saw before sunrise, but ive heard of it so i kiiind of get it. Also, oh i fucking love this. The more angst the better imo gimme all of it.

For this scenario- my bet is- years down the line, she gets married but its not a very happy marriage, so those thoughts bring back the memories of eddie. Obviously no idea of how she could ever find him. Maybe, luck would have it, she stumbles into steve. Doesnt recognise him immediately, until she remembers thats the guy she was supposed to hook up with all those years ago. She dares to ask him about eddie- would he even know him? Remember him? But oh yeah, Steve knew eddie. They got into the business together. They bonded as 2 young guys in a city that was actually too big for them. Especially too big for eddie. He got completely lost. So lost until he couldnt be saved anymore.

[viovio]

10, 16, 18, 22 dinoverse?

10. worst part of fanon

You cannot belieeeeeve how much misogyny there is about Vanora that they'd make shit up about her.

You'd think reading her thoughts and input as the player character would make people's insight about her line up with canon but the whole thing is that she grows more and more out of player control and into her own choices as the chapters progress. Do not go into the vtsom fic tag worst mistake of my life but also someone had to be at the devil's sacrament.

Like yea she did. in fact. kill Vincent (deserved but also wooooooo my god... it was bound to happen to either of them and at the rate she's going she's gonna keep climbing bodies to get kicked down by Myers.) and manipulate Draco at the end to do the same but calling her abusive WHILE referring to their relationship before is insane I mean neurodivergent. His fixation and disillusionment of her isn't healthy💔

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Chaser Victor and happy family dads vinvic + son Draco for many reasons.

Mira's said this before but because I like Victor to an unhealthy degree (just like him fr) I'm kinda bummed he doesn't have any character outside of Vincent.

Which sort of makes sense within the context of his character and their til-the-end partnership but he's been having problems ingrained into him before RMU for sure. I'd like to see that it's insane I mean neurodivergent how they know each other better than anyone and are still stuck in the past. They're back at square 1 with never moving forward. (What's he gonna do when revenge goes through? Look at himself? no.)

Anyways I'm getting off-topic it creates conflict for sure which I love. If integrated into canon which is the direction it seems to be getting I'm sure dino will write in more for him but the way people write a chaser Victor just feels very ooc. You mean to tell me he would not tell Vincent?

That parts already gotten long so I'll summarize this stupid family shit + my kind little fucked up homonculi weapon who's also my brother and I make into my butler. I don't think they would make good parents so its so sucks when they turn Draco into a baby in fanart stop this madness

18. there should be more of this type of fic/art

ZALMONAAAAAAA ZALMONAS JOURNEY IN PROVING HER INNOCENCE. PLEASE PLEASE YOU'RE NOTHING SHE TALKS ABOUT A COUPLE OF AMUSING INCIDENTS IMAGINE G4S MOST WANTED CRIMINAL TELEPORTS INTO YOUR BATHHOUSE WITH YOUR COCK OUT PLEASEEEEE.

Honestly like who give a shit about the other districts that's something Dino should be writing about can we PLEASE get speculation on how the watch works. Is there a catch? does she get dizzy? What was her detective work like. I wanna replay chapter 3 because she's only had surface level info about Myers from the news so she had to do a lot of digging pleaseeeeee a parallel of her investigation and Vanora at Myers trying to cover stuff up would be so sweet.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Being in the tranches it's same as above where is.where the fuck is Zalmona where is her meanness her brashness. Where is that that never contradicts her kindness, if you reduce her to the strong dumbass trope I'll kill you. I miss my wife Nini.

I wanna say in that same vein would be Vanora but I'm pleasantly surprised by the amount of art she gets, maybe it's bcoz of my mutuals but it's nice. Zalmona gets that too but it's not to the same degree tbh. I dontlike most dinoverse fans honestly

[nimata-beroya]

MY THOUGHTS ON TBB 2×07 "The Clone Conspiracy" & 2×08 "Truth and Consequences"

Let me start by saying that these episodes didn't go as I expected. I had a whole (not very clear) plot in my head that did not happen. At all. But I love them! It had me on the edge of my seat the entire time!

My thoughts and reactions are below the cut

2×07 "The Clone Conspiracy"

I gasped when I saw 79's. In a weird way, I was surprised that was still functioning, which is stupid. Of course, it's still open. The Empire is trying to rid of the Clones, but they're not gone yet, so they still need a place to get hammered. Now, more than ever, I think.

As these 2 clones talk (Cade and Slip, my beloveds), it hit me that that bar played a part in another conspiracy. Argh! 😩 The feels!! Why?! 😭

And I'm now headcanoning that this guy here is either Cade or Slip (probably, Cade since he was the one who had second thoughts first)

*sighs*

Anyway, let's continue…

It hurts so much watching the clones deal with all the crap the Empire makes them do. I just want to hug them and protect them at all cost.

As much as it hurts, I knew Cade wasn't going to live much longer. And my thought at that moment about the assassin was, "please, don't be Crosshair. Don't be you. PLEASE!!" And the scope didn't look like his but I was not sure until they showed the helmet. Of course, then the question was who the hell is that?

Wait! They're saying that Kamino fell because of a massive storm?!?!! that's the worst excuse ever! like, how not everybody automatically knows that it's a big fat lie?! Kamino? A planet used to horrible storms, so their building were made for resisting those. That Kamino?! Honestly, Rampart has absolutely no imagination or logical thought.

Of Course! It's about that recruitment bill 🙄

BAIL!!! Bail is here!

RIYO!!! WOOHOO!! THAT'S MY GIRL, FIGHTING FOR THE CLONES!! I'm so ecstatic to see her (I knew she would, since I saw that leaked pic of her with Rex and the boys) and it's so good to watch her doing what she does best.

(My Foxiyo shipping heart is wishing to see Fox too, or at least that she mentions him or something. Just a tiny hint. I know it won't happen but dreaming cost nothing)

Hmm… Rampart, I see trouble coming your way. The Emperor has no patience for failure, and you are on very thin ice. And how apparent is that you know absolutely nothing about Riyo if you think she'll be appeased so easily. Oh boy! Your end is near, I think… Unless you have a card up your sleeve, which I doubt. Oh, I'm going to enjoy watching you fall so much 😈

Harsh words from Riyo, but true. You're not getting any younger, my dears. You're getting older twice as fast, in fact. I think not only the clones are guilty of ignoring that fact. In real life and when you're young, you think that it won't happen to you, until one day you get up and say "oh Fuck" and you're old. The sad thing is that as things are going, the clones won't have enough time to enjoy life before that happens 😣

Slip, what are you doing? Oh calling Rex? Yes, yes, yes!!!

Be careful Riyo, Rampart is a snake. Actually, that's an insult to snakes. But the sentiment applies. Good thing you're not stupid and didn't believe a word he said.

Ooooooh! Bail, nice! The King of clandestine meetings. This reminds me of the fic I need to finish writing. Opps! 😅 I'm all for Organa-Riyo secret rebel meetings.

Oh fuck! Riyo move!!! No no no no no, Slip come back! No! 😖😭😭 I knew it! RIP Slip 💔

Now, Riyo, RUN!!! Run like hell! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

YES!!!! REX IS HERE!!!!! Just in time. Phew!! Now let's see who this guy is.

Wait! Oh my goodness! 😳 he killed himself. Who's this guy and what happened to him, because this seems a little too extreme for a normal trooper. Even if as a "believer". Could've he been reconditioned? Is he one of the cadets of Kamino that went through a harsher brainwashing? What??!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! They can't leave it there!!! How dare they!! Thank God they released the next episode, too, or it'd have been a hell of a week waiting.

2×08 "Truth and Consequences"

Hey!! The boys! Finally! (Well, actually the previous ep was too good, and I missed them much less than I should have)

Oh, My boy Wrecker is taking a nap. But baby, in that position you'll get a kink on your neck. Mine hurts just by watching you.

GONKY!!!!!! Thank goodness you're all right! I was afraid that he was fried for good.

Oh, Omega is meditating. Nice (hmm, I can imagine what everyone fond of the idea of her being force-sensitive will say about this. I'm not on that wagon, tho) There! From her own mouth! She's not force sensitive.

Oh, Echo!! 🥺🥺 Can I hug you?

Ok, here we go.

Well, I'm just saying that Hunter have a point. The last place they should put a foot on IS Coruscant. He's not wrong about that. BUT... also with Rex's expertise of going in and out of it without raising alarms should reduce the risks. And it's for a very good cause, so, go, go, go.

That's how it's pronounced?! I've been saying Riyo wrong all along 😕

LOL! Omega always being cute with her little wave 😊

I love that Echo is ready to testify but, yep, that wouldn't go well. Deserters don't have much of credibility. Sorry Echo.

awwwww my girls together, yes! (and that's why Omega will see Palpatine. It makes sense now)

Riyo and Omega in the Senate reminds me of Padme and Ahsoka doing the same thing.

Wait! Shouldn't have Rampart recognize Omega? Sure, he can't even imagine CF99 is in Coruscant and Omega could be any girl, but like didn't he read the reports of every incident involving them? I'm sure in one of those says there's a girl, with Omega's description, among them. Or watched a surveillance footage, something, I don't know. Right? I mean, great that he doesn't recognize her, but it's weird.

Oh, yes! The ice under your feet is getting thinner and thinner, Rampart. I can hear it cracking 😈 Oh, your arrogance is your downfall. Nothing that Riyo can do? HA!! You won't know what hit you

Ugh! Omega, my poor innocent baby. Still so naive to the unfair reality of being a clone. My heart weeps for you

Hehe, Omega tailing along to the meeting with Bail. Such a confidence in her brothers.

UGH!! That old, obnoxious hag?! I hate Burtoni. Altho, I admit that she's caving in more easily than I expected, all thanks to Omega

Ok, Rex, who are those contacts? Wolffe? Cody? Or even Crosshair? Anyone we know? Tell me!! I wanna know!!!

Oh, poor my boy!! He's not having a good day. First, zapped when he bumped that machine and now dealing with his fear of heights. I must say that Wrecker is braver than anyone. He doesn't let his fear stop him.

Hurry up boys!! Ooooh!! More plans. And combined?!

Oh my gosh, Tech!! 😆😆 "I was off by 6.4 meters. Not my best."

Definitely not the best day for Wrecker. He deserves a hug from me 😊

Get him, Riyo!! You're so done, Rampart!

Oh, fuck! Palpatine 🤬

Told you Rampart! You're done (Altho, I thought he'd be around a bit longer, but his fall fits nicely with what I think it might be the rest of Crosshair's arc, so I'm ok with this. Of course, I wouldn't have complained if they had dragged Rampart's misery for a bit longer)

Ah, of course! I'm not even surprised that Palps spinned this to his favor anyway. I know clones are doomed no matter what they do. *Long-suffering sigh*

Wait, what? Echo? what? No!!! you can't leave 😭😭 I'm with Omega here 😭😭

😭😭😭 They're hugging!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Noooooooooooooo!!! Omega looks so sad 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I did not expect this to happen and, even if I don't like it, I get it. It's something Echo needs to do for himself. My only solace is that, happening now by mid-season, it almost certain that Echo will be back sooner than we think.

And I have very important questions after these episodes...

Crosshair, is he safe? Is he all right? Where is he?!!!

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED NCT FICS OF OCTOBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my nct recs of october! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Late night Company || @daegall💕💔✅

↳ in which the Gods give you a shit day, and Aphrodite makes up for it.

Safety Net || @fadedncity🔞💕✅

↳ (theres no summary but short description from me - friends to lovers + clowns)

Between Us || @neowinestainedress🔞💕✅

↳ you find yourself tangled in the life of the Suhs after Mr. Suh starts working as an English professor at your father’s university. You don’t understand why they float around you so much, but soon enough, you can’t get enough of that secret, dirty game anymore.

Birthday Boy || @writemekpop💕✅

↳ It's Renjun's birthday and all you want is a moment alone, but other people keep getting in the way...

Homebody || @daydreamingyuta💕✅

↳ bf!Jeno spending a relaxing day at home with you instead of going out.

Mine || @milliewrtes💕✅

↳ in which your boyfriend saves you from unwanted, horrible flirting

My Exception || @armysantiny💕✅

↳ Renjun’s reading time is sacred; a dedicated few hours every weekend spent with him, his wax melts, a book, and a hot drink. Though he can make an exception for y/n. He can always make an  exception for them.

Spidey Boy || @martiniblues💕💔✅💯💯

↳ mark has tried to hide his secret identity from you for as long as possible, to keep you safe, of course. little does he know that you’ve untangled his web of lies long ago and will do anything in your power to get him to admit it. just when you've had enough of him lying to you, he ends up getting caught in the act trying to save your life.

Sweet Like Pumpkin Pie || @potatocitytechnology🔞✅

↳ One fall day, you decide it's time to let go of your worries. Turns out you're a natural freak in the sheets and Johnny loves it.

Target Run || @kyufessions💕💔✅💯

↳ shopping with chenle can be exhausting, especially for your first apartment together

Don't Test Me || @peanutpinet💕💔✅💯

↳ Haechan was always known as the funny, sunshine one of the whole of NCT. But that doesn’t mean that can’t go serious. Especially when it comes to his lover who is actually the opposite of him. Quiet, reserved but anxious.

Protection || @peanutpinet💕💔✅💯

↳ NCT was developing a new technology to help them expand more and help them to always be one step ahead of their enemy

12-7 Room || @zh-lele💕🔄

↳ Surviving a week to Donghyuck's charms and jokes can't be so hard... Worst case scenario, you end up completely falling for your brother's best friend.

Ghostie || @smileysuh🔞✅💯💯

↳ As one am rolls around, you start to realize that maybe tonight you won’t get a call. He is a frat boy, and this is Halloween weekend.  You’re disappointed as you get into bed, frowning as you scroll on your phone, hoping that if you wait another five minutes, maybe he’ll catch you. Five minutes turns into ten, turns into fifteen, and you find your eyes beginning to shut. You’re starting to understand how much you truly have come to depend on Ghostie as part of your nightly ritual. It hurts not to get a call from your favourite voice-modulated anonymous frat boy.

I Saw Her First || @astayinwonderland🔞✅

↳ you are tired after a long day of meetings but you step into an elevator with jaehyun-- however, you don't know mark has his eyes on you too

Send In The Clowns || @smileysuh🔞✅💯

↳ “She’s not the reason we’re dressed as clowns,” Hyuck is quick to insist. He’s such a good liar. Jungwoo would almost believe it, if you hadn’t told him your Halloween clown plan. It’s no secret to you that your three frat friends all have crushes on you, so you’d decided to tell Jaehyun about wanting to fuck a clown, just to see who would actually follow through with the costume. You’d expected one, maybe two- but here are all three men, dressed as exactly what they are: clowns. And it’s obvious to Jungwoo that they think this is their own idea. As if you’re not the puppeteer behind this all. God, Jungwoo loves having you as a best friend, even if your bucket list includes a frat clown Halloween orgy with three of his best friends.

Somebody's Watching Me || @neocentral🔞✅💯

↳ (no summary, but somnophilia)

The Only Exception || @jaylaxies🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ mark was overprotective and he didn’t fail to show it, warning all the guys to stay away from you, his best friends were no exception. so, how will you make it work when you return back after graduating school, only to find that your crush is paying more attention to you than ever? it most certainly doesn’t help that it’s lee donghyuck, to whom, you are strictly off limits.

Treat You Better || @luvyeni🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ renjun hates your boyfriend, he certain he can treat you better

ASAP || @yeonjunszn💕✅💯💯

↳ you’re not exactly the best barista at zhong coffee, but for some unknown reason (his massive crush on you), mark thinks you can do no wrong. sick and tired of his favoritism and your lack thereof due to absolute obliviousness, your coworkers are determined to fix this problem. asap.

Enchanted To Meet You || @liliansun💕💔✅💯

↳ college was enough to deal with, barely passing classes and struggling to keep up with what was going on in each was a daily struggle. not having time to catch someone’s eye was fine with you, that was until you met him. there was something about him that was enchanting, so you went out to find him, hoping you kept him up the same way he did you.

The Deal || @xrenjunniesx💕✅💯

↳ when a boy you didn’t know all too well asks for your number, you decide to make him work for it. when he asks for the second time, you make a deal with him.

NCT 127 Texts || @kumoseiza💕✅💯

↳ Couple Costumes

10:04AM || @gyeomsweetgyeom💕✅

↳ (soft renjun is superior)

16:47 || @lovesuhng💕✅

↳ "Don't be afraid to cry in front of me, I've got you."

9:35PM || @gyeomsweetgyeom💕✅

↳ (hyuck is a menace but hes their child)

Do check out all of the other NCT Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[floodonthefloor]

corlys retiring….”I’m making space for something else. For my family. For my life.” He pauses. “I won’t be so naive as to suggest it may be time for you to consider doing the same.” RHAENYRA PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM WHO CAREEES ABOUT CAPITALISM AND YOUR DADS STUPID FIRM

THEY GOT A ONE EYED CAT? i love you balerion who i literally only just now met and who’s probably long dead i would do anything for you….alicent bribing him with treats and omg thank you for him loving alicent (who wouldn’t) and them napping together☹️

“I’m failing you. But clinging onto your crumbling empire means failing myself” CLAPPING AND CHEERING

“Maybe the worst part is is that Rhaenyra agrees with the reasons her wife has done this for. Maybe that’s why Rhaenyra’s angry in the wrong direction.” 😁😁😁😁 i love them..i love this fic…..it cannot be said enough❤️ AND ALICENT SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF (i understand rhaenyra i get it i promise i’m also considering her perspective but i Am. an alicent girl)

“I’m not walking away”I’m not leaving you” “I’m coming home” / “Come home.”…..see i had an odysseus parallel written here as a joke but aegon literally ended up being like one of his shipmates,, i sure hope he survives this (not his party girl behavior catching up with him😔💔)

have i mentioned how much i love the way you write rhaenyra she’s a fully fledged character and not just there to prop up alicent and i love her so much :( “I’ve made my choice. It’s you.”🥹

“I don’t know if I’ll be here for when you do,” Alicent whispers. “I don’t know if I can wait anymore.” i’ll be diving headfirst into the nearest lake if she’s not and i don’t know how to swim so consider that before making your choice @ alicent…..

reading your writing i put my heart in your hands and you’re squeezing the life out of it :( sure i’m doing it willingly and i’m also enjoying it so i shouldn’t even complain but i still like to bring it up :(

anyway uhm. yeah. sorry for just regurgitating your words back to you and for doing it in such a verbose way too ik you declined but the offer to fall on my own sword still stands

(i’m both of them)

regurgitate all u want im EATING IT UP (sorry)

[amberswilddreams]

you look(ed) happier💔🫶

pairing : nicky byrne x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of ed sheeran's "happier" we find out the love story/breakup/re-get-together of nicky byrne and valencia callahan 

warnings : kinda sad, mentions/actions of domestic relationship abuse, but it does get better, single x nicky, georgina ahern byrne is mentioned but she is not with nicky in this fic

a/n : i have done this one-shot a couple of times before but i was listening to the song again and i wanted to do it again. i contemplated doing it for all four boys but i decided to do it as a young 90s/00s nicky byrne so like before social media existed but still, with my version of what a 90s/00s instagram post would look like at the end if that makes sense. 

walking down 29th and park, i saw you in another's arms. 

nicky byrne couldn't help but feel his heart slightly sinking low into his chest as he noticed his now ex-girlfriend from back home in ireland, valencia callahan, in america in another man's arms as nicky went outside for some fresh air just before he and his bandmates of westlife were about to perform a showcase in new york. the worst part of this whole thing for nicky, now that his ex had left him, was that she seemed to be following westlife's career into their venture to cracking america but not just that, she was doing it with her apparent new boyfriend. this meant that it wasn't just valencia coming to watch the showcase, her new boyfriend was also going to be there and was going to have to be introduced to nicky since he and valencia were still close friends, not having the heart or the hate in them to drop contact with each other. nicky never hated valencia after the two of them broke up, no way, he couldn't ever hate his childhood best friend, he was honestly grateful that valencia had still travelled all this way to support westlife even though she was no longer with nicky except, the thing that threw him off was the fact he had never imagined or prepared himself to see her do that with another guy. 

only a month we've been apart, you look happier. 

the thing though, that hurt nicky over anything else was that this new boyfriend made valencia look so much happier, happier than she ever seemed to be when she was with nicky. shane, one of nicky's bandmates and closest friend had suddenly noticed why nicky was looking off into the distance, the sligonian trying to get the dubliner man to go inside the hotel - the dubliner whacking shane's hand away, nicky couldn't help but notice something else that he so desperately missed about valencia - her laugh. 

once again, nicky's heart almost closed in on his chest as he watched and heard her laugh. he didn't know what to do, i mean, who would know what to do in this situation? shane certainly didn't know, he felt inexplicably guilty and devastated for his best friend, shane was still dating his high school sweetheart, gillian walsh whereas, nicky had his heart broken because unfortunately, valencia and nicky broke up for reasons that, at the time, seemed appropriate and it seemed like the both of them were on the same page at the time. and, all of a sudden, shane watched as his best friend was devastated over the thought of seeing his ex and his best friend cosying up to another man only after what seemed to be a month after nicky and she had broken up.

saw you walk inside a bar, he said something to make you laugh.  

there was still an hour before westlife's showcase in the new york hotel they were performing in so, nicky watched as valencia and her new beau strolled into a bar but, not before the guy made a truly horrendous joke, nicky knew that if he had said it, valencia would have given him a disappointed face as though she was the embarrassed kid of nicky, but because it was this new man that had said it, it had made valencia laugh out loud. so loud that nicky and shane heard it from across the street and so did everyone else that was walking past them and everyone else on nicky and shane's side of the road. both of them, nicky and shane, saw how happy valencia was and it truly devastated both of them, their shoulders sinking to their regular positions as nicky tried to look away. 

"...val, i have a joke for you..." the still unidentified new beau of valencia's asked, valencia smiled, nodding her head as the man continued 

"...what would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the rear end?" he asked, his voice already cracking with laughter and he hadn't even finished the joke - nicky almost puking because he hated how close the guy was to valencia 

"i dunno, what do you get?" valencia sort of laughed, not like an excited or happy laugh but, the laugh nicky would usually hear when he'd try to tell her a joke so, for a second, nicky did have hope that she wouldn't laugh at the guys joke but, that was until he said the punchline of the joke 

"you get a megasoreass!" and just as nicky and shane didn't laugh at the joke, they hoped and prayed valencia wouldn't laugh but, she did, she laughed at the utterly horrendous joke that her date had made 

and she laughed wholeheartedly, with her whole body, her head flying backward as her hand rested on the man's chest and her head then moved to lean on it so she could control herself. 

"oh, that was a kicker! that was actually really funny!" valencia's voice went high-pitched as her voice broke from her laughing fit, wiping away a tear from her eye as the two then walked into the bar

and it was at that moment that nicky knew he really couldn't stand watching those two anymore, even though he still absolutely adored valencia, he knew it wouldn't do him any good if he continued to focus on her when it was clear she had moved on completely whilst he still was hung up on her. 

i saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours yeah, you look happier, you do. 

it wasn't rocket science for anyone to see that nicky knew that valencia's smile was twice as wide as the ones she smiled when she was with nicky and it made him feel sick to his stomach. it hurt the dubliner terribly to know that possibly, this new boyfriend of valencia's was everything that nicky wasn't and that he couldn't make her happier as this new man did in comparison. nicky's heart felt like it was being crushed and this pain wasn't just a metaphorical pain, oh no, it was such a physical pain that nicky's face started to scrunch up in pain as he would wince occasionally. 

thankfully, it didn't take shane that long to convince nicky that they needed to return back to the stage and away from the doors so that nicky wasn't putting himself through more pain, especially due to the fun that they would be having during their show that was still to occur in the next hour. however, nicky couldn't help but wait until valencia and this new boyfriend had gone further away into the bar before he moved so that he could have one last look at her before the slight possibility of him catching eyes with her tonight during the showcase. 

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like i do. 

despite the slight privacy that nicky and valencia both had about their lives, not really the type to overshare whilst being in the public eye of the westlife fans and the west end fans since valencia was an actress in the west end, it had become pop star gossip basically the moment that the slight possibility that nicky and valencia had broken up being true was announced. and then, their breakup was announced and like the rumours, it was on the front page of nearly every single teen magazine that nicky and valencia had broken up and that it was "messy" and that there was apparently a cheating scandal involved or something completely dramatic. however, that was the furthest from the actual reality of what actually went down and the reason why the two popular young adult stars broke up. they decided, nicky and valencia, because it had gotten so bad that they were going to put out a statement explaining the full truth as to why they were breaking up and decided that what was best was a video interview since, of course, having an interview with a magazine can mean being misinterpreted or misworded to make one person sound better or worse than the other. so, with louis walsh, westlife's manager and valencia's west-end talent manager, nicky and valencia sat down together for a break-up video interview to clear the air about why they decided to break up. 

they hated that everything else that was being spread across the newspapers and magazines was false and decided that it was best for the words to come from the two of them themselves. because, in actuality, the breakup was mutual between the two and it was made clear from the very beginning that if they were going to find someone new, it was okay and that the two of them would and are always the best of friends, no matter what. they both meant the world to each other and there was no way they could remove the other from their life. to them, what they said in their own words was that they were each other's right person but it was the wrong time and, it broke nicky and valencia's hearts to break up with each other despite how mutual it was because of how much they loved and still love each other. the only reason why valencia and nicky broke up was that it seemed like it was the case of they were the right person for each other but, it wasn't the right time and that was why it was so painful for the both of them. 

"...hey, nico, you know that it wasn't either you or valencia's fault as to the reason why you two broke up?" shane spoke softly as he watched, keeping an eye on his still heartbroken friend sulk over watching his ex who was still his best friend, who he still loved dearly, look way happier with the new guy than she ever did with him 

"i...i know shay, it just, hurts seeing her look so much happier with someone else..." nicky sniffled solemnly, resting his hands on his chin as shane rubbed his best friend's back 

"...it does hurt, nico, i know that but, don't forget that, sure val has a new man but, she still loves you so much and only wants the best for you. and i think that's why she's flown all the way over here, to new york from dublin, to support her best friends as they...we...try to crack america's pop market. of course, though, it is really sucky for me, kian, mark and bryan to see she's moved on with someone else but, we all have to just look past that and be glad that she's still here. trust me, from someone who's with the girl who i've loved since i was twelve, it'll get better and, who knows, maybe one day, she'll realise that this happy with this guy isn't the happy she wants and, she'll find her way back to you..." shane smiled softly, trying to convince nicky who just nods his head in response although, it was still quite difficult to believe his best friend 

promise that i will not take it personal, baby if you're moving on with someone new. 

nicky promised, basically pinky promised, the day that he and valencia broke up, that he wouldn't take it personally and be that arsehole ex-boyfriend if valencia was to find someone new and move on. he knew that valencia was bound to move on quickly anyway so, he made a promise not to take it personally (as did she) and that just because she's moved on quickly, it doesn't mean that she wasn't grateful or faking any of her feelings towards nicky or acting as though it was nothing. because, honestly, valencia was on cloud nine throughout her whole relationship with nicky, it was just honest to god the timing for the both of them always seemed to get in the way of their schedules as a member of westlife and a west-end actress, not their chemistry. 

"...if there is anything you two would like to say to the other, what is the one thing you'd tell them? valencia, i'll ask you first..." a smash hits reporter asked as valencia smiled softly and nodded her head, holding nicky's hand tight 

"...nicky, do you promise me something?" valencia spoke up small, feeling lowkey embarrassed that she would be repeating the very same thing she had told nicky in private when they originally broke up as nicky lifted his head up from the floor and he nodded his head 

the two twenty-somethings had already broken up with each other privately but, now, they were asked to basically do it all over again in a video interview and it was now getting emotional and both of them were crying whilst being filmed for an interview and it just felt really awkward. the reason why they broke up wasn't that they weren't in love with each other anymore or because they were never best friends, that's absolutely wrong, they were breaking up because they were young and they were celebrities who were right for each other but started their relationship at the wrong time. that's all it was, they still love each other but, that was the reason why nicky and valencia had broken up, if breaking up now was the thing that could save their special thing and then find it later on then that's what they were going to do because they didn't want to ruin it by continuing to pursue their relationship during this time. 

"always, val, what is it?" nicky sniffled softly as valencia's hand ghosts over nicky's as the smash hits reporter felt sick to her stomach, she hated that she had been picked to do this but, she couldn't run now, she had to stay and continue this video interview 

"promise me that if i do move on with someone new, you won't take it personally and hate me for it?" valencia only gulped as she kept her eyes looking at nicky, ignoring the camera and the smash hits reporter as nicky nodded his head

"yes, i promise. i love you too much to hate you," nicky choked out in a whisper, more tears building in his eyes as he breathed in, asking valencia a question 

"can you promise me something?" nicky whispered back, clearing his throat as valencia nodded her head, her hand touching nicky's as they kept eye contact with each other 

"of course, always, what is it?" valencia questioned softly, only wishing she and nicky didn't have to do this video interview and the magazines and newspapers didn't try to twist their words and the truth just for clicks and reads 

"am...well, are we still best friends? even if you may date someone else after me?" it was this question that broke nicky's heart to say as finally, a tear rolls down his cheek as he closes his eyes, valencia breathing deeply so she wouldn't cry her tears as she wipes nicky's tear away, the smash hits reporter almost crying herself for the two 

smiling softly with a head nod, valencia responded, "of course, we're still gonna be best friends, nico! i've known you my whole life, i could never throw away our entire relationship and friendship just because we dated the right people but at the wrong time. i couldn't ever remove you from my life, you're way too special to me, i can't do that and i will never do that..." valencia paused as she wiped away more of nicky's silent tears as he nodded his head, understanding valencia which made her feel better 

"...even if i do end up dating someone else and if you end up dating someone else, i am always a phone call away or a short drive away if you ever need anything and, i know if i was in a similar situation, you'd be there waiting for me too," valencia smiled and nicky nodded his head as his lip trembled, another single tear slipping down his cheek as he giggled in embarrassment, wiping it away himself 

thankfully, the smash hits reporter only had a few last questions to ask and then, the interview was to be published and hopefully, after that, only the truth about nicky and valencia's relationship and their breakup was going to be talked about. 

'cause baby you look happier, you do, my friends told me one day, i'll feel it too. 

it still seemed impossible for nicky to get it out of his head that valencia seemed to look happier with her new boyfriend after the break-up and honestly, whilst he was proud of her, it still hurt and was a hard thing to just shake off. it honestly did sort of scare nicky that he thought that he was maybe getting replaced and that maybe, he was actually losing his best friend when it was considered that he still didn't know what this new boyfriend was like in relation to knowing about boy-best friends for his girlfriends. 

"oi, nico, we need to get ready, hair and makeup are asking for us so, when we see valencia stay calm, okay?" shane announces to nicky, patting his shoulder as the dubliner nods his head 

"yes, shane, i understand, i'm not a five-year-old!" nicky, with a sassy attitude, rolls his eyes as he chuckles, making shane smile at the attitude and eye-roll 

"i know, nicky, forgive me but, i just don't want you getting hurt, that's all!" shane suddenly went serious as nicky smiled and pulled his best friend in for a hug 

"thanks, shay, i do appreciate it," nicky smiled into his best friend's shoulder and shane smiled too, exhaling slightly as he pats his best friend on the back 

"no worries, buddy. i know how much you and valencia loved and still love each other. it is hard when a couple like you two, that are the right couple, break up due to it being the wrong time," shane smiles softly, the two men pulling out of the hug as they started to hear the commotion of the audience from their dressing rooms 

and until then i'll smile to hide the truth, but i know i was happier with you. 

all that was left for nicky to do in regards to getting ready for the showcase was his jacket, however, it seemed as if from the knock at the door, that wasn't going to be happening just yet. with a small sound of acknowledgement that nicky was fully dressed, the door opened to reveal bryan with a sly smile on his face. confusing nicky, he smiled confusedly at them before hearing what two of his bandmates had to tell him.

"nico, just to let you know, a special someone has decided to come backstage and she's got someone with her..." bryan smiled in the excitement that his two best friends were going to reunite but, was not so happy that another man was going to be in that equation 

"...valencia has come backstage?" nicky questions, his voice suddenly small and timid, exactly opposite to the usual loud, boisterous and confident voice that he always had as bryan smiled empathetically, nodding his head - only knowing what shane had told him from earlier on 

"yes, she has and she's honestly so excited to see you so, can i?" bryan questioned, his head slightly tilted at the door, asking his bandmate for permission and nicky smiled as his fingers found their way to his pockets 

bryan nearly jumped in excitement as he rushed over to open nicky's dressing room door to let valencia and her new boyfriend in to visit nicky before rushing out himself after one last hug to his old friend. the former boyfriend and girlfriend are now just staring at each other in awe. it had felt like nearly years ago that valencia had seen the dressing room for westlife's american showcase when really it was maybe a couple of months, not even? pretty much as soon as they broke up, valencia's west-end contract started which meant that she had to part ways with nicky not just in their relationship but also because she was needed back at her show, that was until she remembered she had vacation days. and, it was during this west-end show that valencia and her new boyfriend had met, he had come on as a swing replacement for the leading role in the show and honestly, it still felt strange to her that when she introduced her boyfriend to people, she wasn't saying nicky or nicholas. 

"nicky!" valencia finally opened her mouth, nicky's name falling off her tongue effortlessly as if she never stopped saying it, nicky's face lighting up at seeing his best friend, her new boyfriend giving the best friends a strange look that nicky managed to catch from the corner of his eye 

"hey, val! how are you, i've missed you so much!" nicky spoke excitedly, the excitement of valencia finally visiting again starting to soak into the pop star as he pulls his best friend in for a hug 

placing her softly back to the ground, valencia responded, "i'm fantastic thanks nicky, how have you been? it's been like, what, a month since we last saw each other and since i left for my west-end gig?" the girl asked with a slight laugh in her breath as nicky nodded his head, a small giggle leaving his mouth as well 

"yeah...wow, it has been a month, that's crazy," nicky spoke with a small whisper as he noticed the way valencia tried to grab her boyfriend but wasn't able to as he had suddenly and quietly left nicky's dressing room without a word of acknowledgement of where it was he had left off to 

"...oh and, by...by the way, that was my boyfriend, matteo..." valencia tried to smile but, it was obvious that nicky could see through it but decided against the questions for now 

"...well, that's nice, val. how...how long have you two been together for, if you don't mind me asking?" nicky spoke softly, with hesitation as valencia tilted her head in confusion - was it three weeks or four weeks as it surely hadn't been a month 

"uhh...i...i think three weeks? so, not that long..." valencia shyly smiles as nicky nodded his head, he felt slightly calm knowing that she hadn't moved on straight away otherwise that really would have broken nicky and wrecked him tenfold more 

"oh, okay, that's nice, val. he treats you well i'm assuming?" nicky questioned as the two of them moved from the door to the couch that resided in the dressing room where the two of them used to have sex, sleep on together upon other things when valencia suddenly became nervous 

"uh...well, yeah i guess he does. i mean, he makes me laugh a lot, i guess..." valencia stammered, her voice shaky and sounding unsure which confused nicky as earlier, nothing looked as though it was wrong or out of sorts 

"...you guess? val...is matteo hurt--" 

"--hey sweetcheeks, who's-oh, you're nic-nathan? val's friend, right? hello, i'm matteo, her boyfriend," matteo suddenly introduced himself out of nowhere, cutting off nicky and calling him by the wrong name 

although it annoyed him, nicky still smiled curtly with a head nod, noticing basically straight away how uncomfortable valencia was getting but tried to hide it, "hey matteo, yeah, i'm nicky, valencia's best friend. so anyway, are you excited about the showcase tonight considering you guys flew all the way over here from ireland?" nicky questioned, also getting an uncomfortable feeling from matteo as valencia enthusiastically nodded her head whilst matteo just hits her with a dirty look and rolled his eyes at the correction of nicky's name 

"very excited, nico, you guys always put on amazing performances and, i just couldn't resist flying back over to watch you guys crack america, especially since you're back in new york," valencia gushed as she smiled, making nicky smile as he bit his lip at his best friend's excitement to return to a westlife show after breaking up with one of their members only a month ago - showing that there was genuinely no bad blood between the band and the exes 

"aw, thanks valencia, i knew you'd say that, but matteo, are you looking forward to it?" nicky smiles at valencia as he then pointed the same question to matteo who just gave a half-hearted nod 

"i mean, this was the concert that valencia couldn't stop talking about and it makes her happy seeing westlife so, might as well enjoy it for myself as well, right?" matteo lazily shrugs as valencia and nicky awkwardly laugh as he then leaves again, valencia and nicky both letting out breaths they hadn't even realised they'd been holding onto 

this made valencia feel embarrassed, matteo had promised her he wouldn't act like this at all, "i...i am so sorry about matteo, nico, he promised me he wouldn't act like this at all. he actually said to me that he was super excited to see you guys live so, i don't know what's gotten into him, i'm sorry..." valencia trailed off in a dejected voice, rubbing her arms together, a signal that nicky knew all too well that meant valencia was anxious

"...don't worry, valencia, it's totally okay. how about we go to mark's dressing room? i'm sure the other three are in there with him and they'll be so excited to see you again. besides, i think matteo's got himself preoccupied with the tour he's just decided to give to himself and another girl..." nicky spoke as they turned to see matteo talking to a girl that had seemingly found her way out of the actual arena and into the backstage area and valencia nods her head in agreement 

grabbing her hand, nicky and valencia ran over to mark's dressing room where they had found mark, kian, shane and bryan all just relaxing in the sligonian's dressing room before it was time for the concert. nicky and valencia had reached the dressing room and everyone's eyes lit up in excitement as they had come to realise valencia's presence. 

"val!" they all screamed at the same time, the girl laughing as they had a group hug, forcing nicky into the hug as well as he reluctantly joined in with a small chuckle at his best friends and bandmates 

"hey, lads! it's so nice to see you all again! i've missed you so much!" valencia said in excitement even though it had only been a month, the month felt longer as she then couldn't help but think that, maybe, nicky's energy about matteo has some truth to it

"we've missed you too, val! anyway, where's your new boyfriend?" shane questions, pulling out of the group hug as valencia shrugged her shoulders when out of nowhere, matteo popped out from behind valencia 

and, obviously, it scared her instead of making her happy and the westlife lads notice and it worries them. matteo, once again, ignores their reactions and introduces himself to the guys. all of the boys shared a displeased look after matteo seemed to just insert himself into the group after scaring his girlfriend. 

"hi guys, i'm matteo, valencia's boyfriend, nice to meet you all," it was clear the smile was fake and he hated this, but at the same token, he was smiling because of the way he was forcefully holding valencia down, fear starting to build in her eyes 

"hi, matteo," they all responded, slightly shocking matteo, whose expression doesn't change as everyone then comes forward to shake his hand, though none of them even wanted to associate themselves with the guy 

since gillian, shane's girlfriend and kerry, bryan's girlfriend weren't in the room, the only people that needed to introduce themselves were the other four westlife lads since matteo and nicky had already met prior. 

"i'm kian," 

"i'm mark," 

"i'm shane," 

"and i'm bryan," they all introduced themselves and matteo just shook his head, pushing valencia forward out of nowhere as he once again departed the room, on his way to find the girl he was speaking to earlier during their little tour 

and, matteo didn't even stop to give his girlfriend a single kiss or not even i love you val and that really made nicky and the other four guys raise their eyebrows. 

and it obviously rattled valencia but, she tried to hide it, "umm, anyway...how have you guys all been since it has been a month since i last saw you all?" valencia spoke up with a meek smile, trying to defuse the awkward tension 

"we've been great thanks, val. kerry and gillian have joined us for our new york showcase so, it's not just been the five of us which has been fun. but, the girls have missed you dearly, and truthfully, so have we so, it's nice to see you again, val but what about you? how have you been?"  kian spoke up as valencia laughed, her eyes lighting up hearing that gillian and kerry had travelled with them when she started to play with a strand of hair that nicky then placed behind her ear, making her nervous again as the former couple smiled at each other 

"that's so great to hear, kino! i'll make sure to look for them in the crowd. and, i've uh, i've been good thanks, i...uh met matteo around four weeks ago in person but we'd been talking for a week before we met but we started dating three weeks ago so, umm, yeah, still quite new and it's been interesting as matteo is quite the guy but umm, it's fun," valencia really wasn't making her new boyfriend sound amazing just like she could do so easily with nicky, especially considering the relationship was so new but it was maybe for that reason as well that valencia was kind of selling her new boyfriend so short 

"okay, okay, not that long but, have you guys said the l word to each other yet?" shane then asked as valencia awkwardly laughed again, her eyeline focused on her shoes for a second - nicky recognising that maybe something wasn't right but, like before, didn't push it further  

"well, i...i have said it but, matteo, i think is just waiting for the right moment, ya know? maybe he just isn't ready yet as he did have a bad breakup before meeting me so, yeah..." valencia nodded her head with a smile, hoping to convince herself that she had nothing to worry about as the boys also nodded their heads, with some scepticism about matteo

valencia and the boys continued to catch up with one another for a little bit longer before it was signalled that it was five minutes before the concert was meant to start, meaning that valencia had to find matteo to take the two of them to their seats. 

"...it was so lovely catching up with you before the show val, but, we do have to go as we're about to get our five but, chat after the show, yeah? remember where we always meet?" nicky asked as valencia nodded her head, her first real big smile covering her face 

"ditto, nicky, it was lovely seeing you and the lads again. and, of course, i remember where we always meet, your bloody dressing room! it hasn't been years nicky!" valencia giggles as the both of them hug and go their separate ways - valencia back over to matteo and the arena and nicky back over to his dressing room to finish the last few pieces of his outfit before going to places 

nicky couldn't help but remember how happy he was with valencia. valencia made nicky so much happier which was what made it tricky for him to understand how someone like matteo made valencia happier than nicky did. to nicky and his bandmates who had heard, it seemed as if matteo was trouble and it worried them sick. worried them to the point where they thought that he might be an abusive boyfriend or if not now, will eventually get to that point. 

ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you, but ain't nobody need you like i do. 

throughout the entire concert, nicky made sure to keep his eyes on valencia and matteo. valencia mainly as he wanted to make sure she was safe and that matteo wouldn't try anything sneaky to hurt her. but, it was also because nicky still needs her. nicky still felt like he had so much more to give to valencia, way more than matteo would be able to. especially considering how matte just looked like he was bad news when you first make eye contact with the guy. 

it was coming towards the end of the first half of the concert when the song what makes a man instrumental started and straight away, valencia was ready for what was to come next. 

nicky, as he sang the chorus, made eye contact with valencia from the barricade that she was standing in front of next to gillian and kerry, shane and bryan's girlfriends as the girls had invited both valencia and matteo to join them. nicky directed this very song towards valencia, who he was still head over heels in love with, valencia, who still remembered every single lyric, mouthed alongside him. 

as it got to the last few verses and choruses of the song, it looked as though nicky was on the verge of tears if valencia looked closely enough. and it broke her heart, she hated the amount of pain she and nicky's breakup had on nicky, even though it was a mutual breakup, that didn't take away the pain that the both of them felt over it ending. valencia just wished she never gave it up with nicky, even though a part of her did love matteo and was glad she was dating him. 

suddenly, out of complete nowhere, valencia started crying when she and nicky made eye contact for what was maybe the tenth time during the song. nicky wished he didn't make valencia cry but, at the same token, he was glad it wasn't him that was crying otherwise, he knew how bad that would have made valencia feel. she had then gone to turn around to matteo to ask him for a tissue from her bag that he had offered to hold for her but, when she went to ask, he was nowhere to be seen. 

it freaked her out, not knowing where her boyfriend had gone but thankfully, gillian was right there to hand her a tissue that was from valencia's bag, valencia took notice that gillian was now keeping her bag safe, not matteo. valencia was now back to thinking about whether or not it was a smart idea to bring matteo and maybe thinking whether or not she really did love him or if he actually loved her. or, if he was like nicky and possibly the rest of westlife and gillian and kerry thought, was just an abuser and a troublemaker. 

i know there's others that deserve you but darling i am still in love with you. 

it didn't take rocket science to figure out that during the entire concert that nicky knew he was focusing too much on valencia whilst still knowing he was still head over heels in love with her. whilst it was obvious to valencia and his bandmates, it was shockingly something that every other westlife fan was just skimming over their heads, just assuming that nicky was just getting really emotional for unknown, personal reasons and that was why he was constantly paying more attention to one specific person rather than the whole crowd like he usually would be. even though nicky knew that there were others that deserved valencia as he promised her, he still found it difficult to comprehend that she did move on because at the time they made that promise, they were both unaware of how quickly valencia would move on after the breakup. 

it wasn't until flying without wings as valencia watched nicky keep eye contact with her throughout the whole song that it became clear to her that maybe, falling in with matteo was dangerous. however, she still desperately tried hard to hide the newfound fear that arose in her as matteo then rejoined her, kerry and gillian in front of the barricade and become suddenly possessive of her during the last few songs and then the encore. especially considering nicky and the other four could see her super easily and keep track of what was going on even though they were on stage. 

*

but i guess you look happier, you do. my friends told me one day i'll feel it too. 

the encore for westlife's concert was now over which meant that the show was finished and fans were now leaving the arena or attempting to get photos of the screen behind the stage that said westlife in white bold text when valencia and matteo rushed backstage, gillian and kerry leaving moments earlier after getting recognised by literally every single security guard to find their way over to nicky's dressing room. seeing that her best friend's dressing room door was wide open, valencia saw her chance, running straight over to nicky in excitement, adrenaline soaring through her blood. however, whilst valencia was rushing over to nicky's dressing room, matteo was running after her trying to get her attention. 

"...val, can i please...have a second just to speak to you? it's serious and it can't really wait--" 

skidding to a halt, valencia turned around to face her boyfriend, her face red as heavy breaths left her mouth, "--oh, sorry matteo but, i promised nicky i'd see him after the concert. i'll be very quick, i promise, can i please just catch up with him and his bandmates and their partners? we can talk later, i promise!" valencia quickly interjected as, to be honest, she was wanting to speak to nicky and his bandmates to get away from matteo who rolled his eyes before quickly noticing the security guard and smiled, nodding his head 

"oh, darling, of course, you can! go, have fun with your friends, i'll just be over at the bar across the street to get us some drinks before the end of the night, okay? oh, also, tell nicky and everyone else that they did amazing! i love you, princess!" matteo smiled, giving valencia a kiss making her squeal that he finally told her he loved her - okay, maybe he wasn't so bad after all and she ran like a little kid as she and nicky locked eyes 

"thanks, matteo! i love youuu!" valencia squeals out as she then runs over and sees nicky outside of his dressing room, the two of them locking eyes 

as some music started playing through the speakers of the arena, nicky and valencia ran over to each other in excitement. valencia jumps as nicky catches her and he spins the both of them around in a circle, something they hadn't done since their split. 

"hey..." valencia trailed off as she giggled as nicky held her tightly, the both of them slipping back into nicky's dressing room, closing the door so no one, especially matteo would suspect the best friends 

"...hi," nicky whispered back before in another short breath, whispered again, "you know, i've missed doing that with you," he whispered again, softly placing valencia back on the ground as she giggled softly, lifting her head up, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear 

"i have as well...and, oh my god, you did amazing during the show! what makes a man was the best it's ever sounded, you made me cry actually! oh, also, matteo told me as well that he thought you guys did amazing so, um, yeah, well done!" valencia spoke enthusiastically but then hesitated when she mentioned matteo, something she had started to realise that she would do anytime in regards to mentioning him since they met and started dating 

and, all of this hesitation from valencia made nicky suspicious and think that maybe it was because valencia's scared of matteo but was at the same time so blinded by her love and infatuation for him that she finds her hesitation when she's around him or speaking about him to be normal. seeing this and now after being around, this was also now scaring nicky as much as it was potentially scaring valencia.

"oh, thank you, valencia! i'm so glad that both you and matteo enjoyed yourselves, which reminds me, where is he? i would've thought he would be with you..." nicky asked in confusion but nevertheless was still excited that they were finally alone as valencia just smiled - sort of nervous to go back over knowing that she and matteo were going to have a hard chat because of the way she was acting around nicky and the rest of the lads 

"...oh, umm, i think he left the arena to go to the bar across the street to get us some drinks so, he said i was allowed to come and hang out with you guys for a little bit," valencia smiled with excitement that she did get to hang out with her best friends 

"oh, umm, okay, cool! let's go back to mark's dressing room as kerry and gillian are there right now with the others then if matteo's allowed it," saying that made nicky's skin crawl and stomach churn in an undelightful way - was matteo suddenly becoming possessive over valencia?

"please, let's do that!" valencia spoke with what sounded like a hushed-out voice but nicky tried not to think too deeply about it as once again, just like this friends said, one day, nicky would feel the same joy that valencia's found with matteo and that one day soon, nicky is also going to move on

i could smile to hide the truth but i know i was happier with you. 

the night of the arena being open was nearly coming towards its end and since meeting up with nicky, shane, bryan, mark, kian, gillian and kerry, matteo had now returned with a couple of alcoholic drinks that he seemed to sneak into the arena with and had now started to become very touchy with valencia in the most uncomfortable way possible. but, just like nicky had been doing the entire time, valencia was smiling to hide away the truth of how she truly felt. obviously, because he was there, matteo had now joined the group and valencia as they were having their catch up and it was very uncomfortable. not just for nicky and the rest of the westlife group but for valencia as well. mainly because matteo was being blunt, rude and possessive but he was also trying to cover it up and justifying it by saying he was just being protective of his girlfriend. 

"...so, nathan, you dated valencia for a brief period of time, how long was it?" matteo, once again, called nicky by the wrong name as he asked in a rude tone of voice which noticeably scared valencia, she had never seen matteo be so rude but assumed it was due to the alcohol and because he was curious?

fighting the urge to roll his eyes, nicky sighed, "it's nicky and yes, i did, valencia and i dated for three years..." the dubliner corrected the inebriated man as he smiled a small smile, hoping that his feelings were being hidden away and not so obvious 

"...hmm...three years? is...is that what i have to beat baby doll?" matteo slurred as he started to nonconsensually kiss valencia's neck as she nervously gulped, trying to grab his face to get him to stop as everyone watched on with anger and worry 

"yes matteo, three years and, i won't lie when i say those three years were bloody fucking fantastic. it was just the timing that killed us so it was the right person wrong time so i have no idea, maybe you and i could get to three years or beat it, matteo. however, we are still yet to get to a month so, be patient darling okay, be patient!" valencia spoke with a slight tone in her voice as she smiled, trying her hardest to act all lovey-dovey around him when she was uncomfortable, especially with the few drinks he was influenced by 

"mmmkay babyy..." matteo slurred out again as he started to feel his hands around valencia yet again, the girl laughing uncomfortably, trying to hide the very noticeable fear in her eyes and body language even though she was in love with matteo - nonconsensual touching was still not okay if you were dating the person 

"i love you, matteo, i really do but, we don't touch me in this way when we're in public, okay? that's for our bedroom, got it?" the girl spoke through gritted teeth again, slapping matteo's hand away as the man started to sober up and he nodded his head 

"okay baby, let's leave then, we can catch up with your friends and ex-boyfriend tomorrow! i still have something i need to tell you, remember?" matteo whispered as valencia nodded her head, whispering back to him asking if she could say just one final goodbye to everyone, nodding his head, matteo released his arms from valencia's waist 

matteo then made it out of the dressing room and out of the arena to wait by the car. valencia smiled again as she went over to nicky and the rest of the group to say her goodbyes. they all smiled as they hugged and chatted a little more. valencia and nicky were finally in front of each other again and valencia just smiled and went on her tippy toes as she pulled him in for a hug. 

"thank you for the great night tonight, nicky. i truly think it was good for matteo and me to fly over here and see one of the shows and for him to meet you guys. it seems as if he truly and thoroughly enjoyed it which was nice to hear and, yeah, see you again soon and if not soon, whenever it is you guys return back to ireland..." valencia was about to leave when she paused and turned back around 

"...i...umm, i know how hard it was for you to see me with matteo and the fact that i have moved on but, i'll always and i mean always love you nicky. those three years we were together were truthfully and honestly the best fucking time ever but, i'm with matteo now and, i am glad you're okay with it..." valencia paused again as nicky nodded his head with a small smile on his face, he truthfully was glad she was happy again even though he did have some slight suspicions about the guy 

"...okay, i really have to go now but, i love you loads nicky and, i'll see you around new york but, if not soon, i'll see you back home in ireland i'm sure..." valencia blabbed out as she smiled and kissed nicky's cheek, his cheeks flushing a bright pink as he smiled back, his hand slightly grazing his cheek as valencia walked away 

"...not a problem, valencia, it was nice seeing you too...i love you more..." nicky trailed off as he grazed his cheek that valencia kissed as he sighed - valencia really was in love with matteo, she really was happy with him 

baby, you look happier you do, i knew one day you'd fall for someone new. 

one month later, it seemed as if valencia and matteo were still dating... that is, what people who read smash hits and all those other magazines thought that is.

SMASH HITS

KENDRA BECKNER | EDITOR JANUARY, 2000

west-end performer, valencia callahan, the ex-girlfriend of westlife superstar nicky byrne seen out with a mystery man at her older sister's wedding! it seemed like it was only yesterday that our smash hits reporter lyndsy ramos did a video interview with callahan and byrne to stop rumours about the reason why the power couple broke up. however, nearly two months later, valencia is already seen out with a new beau. 

valencia's older sister, west-end performer kayleene callahan got married yesterday (read that article here!) and kayleene's younger sister, valencia was the maid of honour. but, it wasn't that that had reporters and fans alike taken aback. it was the fact that valencia was seen kissing and sitting rather close to another man. and, who is this new man valencia is dating, may you ask? well, take today as your lucky day because we've got all the gossip. 

valencia's new boyfriend is west-end performer matteo de la costa. de la costa is well known for playing marius in les miserables, link in hairspray and many others but, how did he gain the attention of valencia callahan? well, it was said the moment that valencia and nicky broke up that callahan had to return back to england for her west-end show, grease, after she had spent time with nicky and westlife in america during their showcase to break america. and it was where she played the lead role of sandy when she met de la costa who was joining the show as a swing ensemble member with his first debut on stage as danny. and then, it was said from that moment that valencia and matteo fell in love. 

however, we can't lie and say we don't miss seeing valencia and nicky together because we absolutely do. so, in this article, you can read our list of fifteen things we loved about valencia callahan and nicky byrne's relationship. although we do miss val and nicky, we also do love val and matteo, here is a gallery of photos of the new couple at kayleene callahan's wedding: 

gallery 60+ photos: click here

however though, as most people are aware, not everything that you see in the newspapers and magazines is real and picture-perfect. recently, matteo and valencia were arguing and fighting like crazy. but it wasn't like valencia had done anything wrong, it was just something that had spiralled out of control after matteo started all the arguments. unfortunately, as nicky and his bandmates, unfortunately, thought and suspected would happen, matteo was now dangerous and abusive. matteo was so abusive that he would punch walls, merely inches from missing valencia's face each time. 

"...matt...matteo, babe, please...please stop! what...what did i do wrong? just...just tell me and i...i can fix it!" valencia squeals out, curling up against the wall and mere inches from where matteo's hand was close to punching her 

"stop talking with and seeing that nathan guy! it's him that is causing this trouble! DO YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER?!" matteo suddenly raises his voice which makes valencia mad - how dare he say shit about nicky when nicky hadn't done anything wrong 

"matteo cruz de la costa! his name is nicky and he has done nothing wrong. the two of us have been friends since we were children. yes, he's going to look at me in a certain way because we dated for three bloody years and we're best friends but, it means anything but what you think it means because i'm with you and because i love you...not...not him..." valencia hesitates towards the end as fear surges through her but, it was too late, matteo was mad 

"NO VALENCIA, YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER HAVE AND YOU NEVER WILL! YOU HAVE LOVED NICKY THIS ENTIRE TIME, YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE YOU'D RATHER BE WITH HIM THAN ME!" matteo screams, throwing another punch at the wall, again merely missing valencia by an inch and valencia smiles at the fact he finally got nicky's name right 

"FINE! YOU GOT ME MATTEO! I DO LOVE NICKY AND I STILL DO, I NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIM BECAUSE THE TIMING FOR US WAS NEVER RIGHT AND WAS ALWAYS IN THE WAY. WHICH WAS THE REASON WE BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE, NOT BECAUSE WE STOPPED LOVING EACH OTHER! YES, I ADMIT, I TALK ABOUT NICKY LIKE I'D RATHER SPEND TIME WITH HIM BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER SPEND MY TIME DOING ANYTHING BUT BE SEEN WITH YOU! HE ALWAYS TREATED ME RIGHT WHEN WE WERE BEST FRIENDS AND WHEN WE DATED! HE'S THE BEST MAN EVER AND I--"just before valencia could continue or pause to defend herself, matteo went crazy and picked up a glass vase 

because, the moment valencia realised that matteo had picked up the glass vase, it was too late. matteo had thrown the glass vase and it had struck valencia in the head, causing her to wobble back, smashing into the wall behind her. 

she fell unconscious as she slid from the wall to the ground almost lifelessly, blood pouring from the back of her head, the glass that was on the ground now cutting into her skin, causing even more blood to trickle its way down the unconscious valencia's paling body. matteo didn't even stop to realise what he did wrong and sprinted out of the house just as nicky was walking in for a catch-up between he and valencia that matteo had allowed for the sake of keeping his girlfriend happy - not because he liked nicky. 

matteo didn't even react that he had injured his girlfriend until he heard the dublin accent that he had so very familiarised from nicky and his eyes widened as the west-end performer sprinted from the house. 

"...matteo? are you alright ma...oh my god, valencia!" nicky jolted back slightly as matteo ran past him, kicking the dubliner on his shoulder, his eyes widening the moment he noticed the scene in front of him 

grabbing his phone from his pocket, nicky wasted no second in dialling 999 for an ambulance and the police, "...no, no, val, valencia! ahh, crap....come on, pick up, pick up! please help me!" nicky was hysterical within seconds of the 999 operator picking up his phone call 

with all the possible information that was obvious from just the scene in front of him, nicky gave it all to the dispatcher who then sent out the ambulance and police vehicle with lights and sirens flashing. thanking the female dispatcher, ending the call since he could hear the sirens coming down the street, nicky threw his phone to the ground, the phone just stopping before it fell into one of the few puddles of blood as he then leant his back against the wall where valencia was and picked her up, cradling her in his lap. 

swaying the both of them lightly from side to side, nicky tried to keep the both of them calm and valencia as awake as possible as the sirens halted sound as did the flashing lights, meaning the paramedics and police had arrived. 

"...cmon val, it's okay darling. just keep your pretty eyes open, it's nicky, you're safe..." nicky whispered in a soft, surprisingly calm tone of voice as valencia suddenly squirmed before calming down from the pain of her injury and the fact that she was safe and it was nicky holding her, matteo nowhere to be found 

"what..what happened? did...did matteo hit me?" groggy, valencia attempted to ask what had happened, well wanting to know if what happened did happen and she wasn't dreaming as nicky gave a small smile 

"yeah babe, matteo hit you. that and he threw a glass vase at your head which caused you to fall back into the wall...but it's okay, matteo's gone and i'm here and the paramedics and police are just walking in now, okay, you're safe," nicky stayed calm as valencia nodded her head as best as she could which made nicky relax a little better 

immediately, the paramedics went over to check on valencia as nicky stood up and slipped behind them so as not to be in the way. he felt tears well in his eyes as he watched his best friend get prodded and poked and asked so many questions that the poor thing could barely keep up with their questions. 

"...valencia, darling, can you please let us help you? my name is sammy and this is angel, we're paramedics and we are here to help you and to treat your injuries..." sammy, the male paramedic repeated for a second time to valencia who was slipping between awake and sleep 

"...am i okay? where...where's nicky?" valencia panicked, no longer about to see nicky as sammy and angel decided that they needed to work quickly and to keep valencia as responsive or as long as they possibly could 

"valencia, nicky is still here, he's just talking to the police, and yes, you are okay, you've just got a head injury and small non-fatal lacerations scattered across your upper body, arms and legs. your head injury is our biggest concern so, could you please tell us your name, even though we already know it?" angel then asks as valencia blinks, thinking for a moment but it seemed as if nothing was registering in her mind other than nicky 

"uh...umm.i..my..." the first and second try she doesn't get it but, by the third try, she manages to mumble her name out 

"...val..valencia...my name is valencia, i'm...i'm 20 and my...my boyfriend matteo cruz de la costa and i got into an argument and he...he hit me a couple of times after threatening too and then he...he picked up the glass vase and hit my over the head with it as i then fell back, hitting my head again on the wall..." valencia wangles out as the paramedics and nicky, who was teary-eyed, smiled in shock with widened eyes as they listened to valencia remember every single detail of the accident 

nicky could barely deal with anyone treating valencia with that much disrespect but, it shocked him so much more that it was matteo because he was supposedly in love with her and he trusted matteo to take care of her and he didn't. 

"...well done, valencia. thank you for the information..." sammy thanked as valencia smiled in return when sammy's attention went back to angel 

"...angel, i think the only thing we can do is just get valencia into the ambulance and to the hospital, she is back and forth from consciousness even though she does remember her name and what happened, there's still a chance that something bad could happen..." sammy concluded as angel agreed straight away, sammy moving forward and picking up valencia in his arms, carrying her bridal style towards to stretcher as they then proceed to wheel her out to the ambulance 

nicky then quickly followed after them into the ambulance, obviously his last thought on the glass shards on the floor and the fact he was covered in his ex-girlfriend/best friend's blood, sammy closed the back of the ambulance before jumping onto the front seat, flooring down the street to the nearest hospital as angel and nicky sat in the back with valencia. 

"...nicky, if there is anyone, could you possibly get into contact with them about valencia's condition and tell them to meet us at the st vincent's university hospital, it's the closest one?" angel spoke up as she continued to monitor valencia's vitals, nicky nodding his head as he immediately grabs his phone and messages the first person he thinks of; kian egan from westlife 

kiano 

hey, kian, could you and the guys meet valencia and me at st vincents university hospital, please? 

why, what happened? 

nicholas, what the fuck happened? 

you were only supposed to go and visit valencia and matteo, what did that cock sucker do? 

no, valencia isn't okay. and yes, i was only supposed to visit them but, the moment i got there, matteo basically legged it when i then noticed what had happened. i walked in further to see that matteo had hit valencia over the head with a glass vase, she couldn't move out of the way quickly enough. now, i don't exactly know what they were fighting about since i didn't hear it but, the police did take statements from neighbours. all i can say is that they were definitely fighting again. 

again? jesus christ, how many more times are they going to fight and she's going to keep on going back to him? i feel so awful for her, she doesn't deserve this! 

how far away are you guys from the hospital in the ambulance? thankfully, shane, mark and i haven't let for sligo yet so we won't take too long and obviously, bryan will bring gill and kerry with him 

the ambulance is like three minutes away, meet me in waiting room three! the hospital will place her in the icu considering it's a head injury 

oh, you best be there we'll be there in two! stay safe and, nicky, stay calm, valencia is a strong girl and matteo, the fucker, is going to pay for this!

thank you kian, i'll see you and the lads in waiting room three! 

kiano has read nicky's message 

nicky now felt less agitated knowing that when he got to the hospital, his bandmates and friends were also going to be there as well. knowing he wasn't going to be alone really gave nicky some comfort as he now just had to deal with the thought that the person that he thought loved his best friend and ex-girlfriend would even think to do this to her, not just this once but all the countless other times. 

from what nicky saw of matteo and heard of him, he was really kind, funny, enthusiastic, sarcastic, a talented actor, a bit of a jerk and petty when he purposefully would either mispronounce or call someone by the wrong name and pretty possessive when drunk but overall, he was a great guy. sure, as mentioned, he did make some uncomfortable and inexcusable comments when drunk but, maybe valencia got uncomfortable due to never seeing it before that night when she returned back to new york for westlife's american showcase. matteo isn't a bad guy, right...right?`from what nicky saw of matteo and heard of him, he was really kind, funny, enthusiastic, sarcastic, a talented actor, a bit of a jerk and petty when he purposefully would either mispronounce or call someone by the wrong name and pretty possessive when drunk but overall, he was a great guy. sure, as mentioned, he did make some uncomfortable and inexcusable comments when drunk but, maybe valencia got uncomfortable due to never seeing it before that night when she returned back to new york for westlife's american showcase. matteo isn't a bad guy, right...right?

~

a couple of weeks go by since valencia was first brought into the hospital by ambulance when she was starting to regain full consciousness again. after many ct scans and x-rays, it had been ruled out that valencia's memory or head injury was not a serious concern anymore, she was moved out from the icu and into a different room on the first floor. all she needed was regular pain medication to stop any internal and external swelling. 

the entire time that valencia was confined to her icu room in the hospital, nicky and the rest of the westlife family were there also. they never actually wanted to leave due to the heavy risk of matteo coming in and attempting to apologise for what he did so, they never left and the hospital staff allowed it. for a while, especially at the beginning of valencia's time at the hospital, just the mention of matteo's name would make valencia stress out which would then cause trauma to her head injury which was something they were heavily trying to avoid. 

valencia was beyond grateful to nicky, kian, shane, mark, bryan, kerry and gillian for never leaving her bedside and staying in her room with her. she was grateful because it made her feel safe in knowing that her best friends weren't ever leaving her side, no matter who she chose to fall in love with or out of love with. even if she only started to realise it now, in a hospital bed out of the icu that it was the wrong person. 

"...nicky..." valencia mumbled, filling out the silence as she had just finished some testing which caused her to be a little drugged and groggy, nicky smiled at hearing his name 

"...yeah, what's up, valencia?" nicky responded softly, quickly turning to face her again as he grabbed her hand to hold, making the drowsy girl smile at the connection 

"was...were the police actually able to find out what happened? what did matteo and i actually fight about?" valencia questioned, shocking nicky as since the accident, nicky and the entire group had been quite apprehensive about telling the full story of what matteo did since for some reason, maybe due to a trauma response, valencia could remember everything else about what happened but the actual fight that led up to her injuries 

and the reason being was that, a couple of days after being transferred to the hospital, nicky received a phone call from the police that had been dispatched out on his 999 call and told him that they not only had found and apprehended matteo. but his statement of events lined up basically identically to every single one of the witness statements from the surrounding neighbours who had heard the two of them fighting. and, now, valencia wanted to be told? this worried everyone but no one was more worried than nicky himself was. 

"val...valencia, are you sure you want me to tell you? what he did was horrific..." nicky trailed off, fighting back his own tears as valencia slowly nodded her head yes 

seeing the head nod, nicky breathed in as the others braced themselves as nicky was the only one to be given that phone call with the information from the police. 

"...please, nicky. i...i wanna know and i'm ready, besides, i deserve to know, don't i?" valencia was certain that she wanted to know and she made it clear, nicky nodded his head as he then held his hand out for his best friend to hold, which she reciprocated straight away 

"...okay, umm, just to preface this, this is what i was told by the police and what they were told by him and the witnesses that heard it..." however, it seemed as though nicky no longer needed to tell the story since whatever trauma response was stopping valencia from remembering before was gone and she remembered 

her eyes widened as she squeezed nicky's hand tighter, "...i...oh my god...i remember what we were fighting over!" she called out, making nicky turn his head up again, in a bit of shock but a little bit glad since that was the one thing the police were a bit iffy about telling him 

"what was the fight over?" nicky hummed quietly as the rest of the group all nervously awaited to hear it, not expecting to be told what valencia was about to tell them 

valencia never imagined she'd be embarrassed saying this but she was, making eye contact with nicky, "it...the fight was over you, nico..." the injured girl then turned her head back down to her hands that rested in the hospital sheets as nicky sat in shock, the fight was over him? 

"...it...the fight was over me?" nicky could feel his breathing pick up as valencia nodded her head slowly as she continued the story further, remembering other things that nicky had already been told by the police that the rest were hearing for the first time

"mhm, it was because i couldn't stop talking about you to matteo. he...he must have thought i was cheating on him and that we were dating behind his back or something and, he...he told me to stop talking about you as he then started to talk crap about you..." valencia paused as nicky's jaw tensed up as he gulped down some saliva that he was almost about to choke on 

the others were listening in pure shock, "...i, of course, defended you, saying you look at me the way you do because you did date me for three years and that we are still best friends, so i didn't take any care at how you looked at me as that's how you have always looked at me, even before we dated. i told matteo i loved him, though it was with hesitation and i think that's what made him even madder as that was when he started to yell, saying that i didn't love him and that i...that i still loved you, nicky..." the drowsy girl trailed off again as she licked her lips as she continued, nicky lightly caressing her hand in comfort with his thumb 

"...and, that...what was when i said it. i shouted it actually, telling him that he was correct...i...i do still love you, nicky. i...*sigh* i never stopped loving you, nicky, i seriously didn't. i then explained to matteo that the reason why we broke up was because of the timing of us always being so busy with westlife and the west end and that was what was getting in the way of our relationship. not that we didn't love each other and that i talk about you so much because you are incredible nicky, you truly are!" once again, valencia paused so she could catch her breath and take a swig of water before continuing, nicky remaining engaged and listening, everyone else in silent shock 

"i then continued on saying how you always treated me right, not just when we dated but as best friends and, i know i shouldn't have but, it was all i could think to say. and that was what drove him over the edge but i just kept on going and kept on pushing him by saying how much of an amazing person you are when he just couldn't handle it anymore and...and then he picked up the glass vase and he threw it at me...and i didn't realise he had thrown it before it was too late and bam, it hit me right in the back of the head and i just, fell and slid down the wall, the shards of glass underneath me cutting into me..." valencia trailed off, most especially after mentioning that she was still in love with nicky, even after she had convinced herself that she had moved on from her best friend even when she hadn't ever really planned to do that 

this had obviously caught nicky breathless as he tried to form a coherent sentence, "...val...valencia, you...still love me?" he stammered out as the drowsy, medically drugged-up girl nodded her head as her lip quivered 

"oh my gosh, nicholas, yes! matteo broke my heart, maybe even more than my heart actually! nico, this wasn't the first fight matteo and i had had! it was maybe at least the tenth or something crazy stupid like that. those photos included in that smash hits magazine cover were taken ages ago and before kayleene's wedding which was before we flew over to visit you guys in new york when i first introduced you to matteo. as soon as kayleene's wedding finished and you and i started hanging out more frequently when you returned from america, we had just hit breaking point, matteo and i. it was always, always matteo accusing me of something, never me accusing him because i trusted and loved him enough to think that he wouldn't hurt me or break my heart. but, i've ended up in the hospital which is just as worse. i...i am so sorry i never told you or confirmed your guys' suspicions, i...i was just scared, so scared that matteo would hurt me if he found out i was trying to ask you guys for help or for a way out," valencia trailed off, a small single tear escaping from the corner of her eye to her cheek, nicky wiping it away 

nicky was also silently crying, he couldn't believe that anyone would ever think of putting someone as sweet and loving as valencia through so much pain and heartache. and in all honesty, he never stopped loving valencia either. of course, the break-up at the time was for the best and maybe this is what was supposed to come out of the breakup but, they both wished that it wasn't having to happen in a hospital room. 

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you

nicky and valencia sat in silence with one another just staring at each other, consoling each other and wiping away each other's tears. everyone watching on saw the love and infatuation, the same one they always had for each other, spark all over again as if it never faded. valencia never stopped loving nicky, she was just waiting for the right time so she and nicky could meet back up again at the perfect roadblock and start from where they had left off. 

and that's actually what they ended up doing and, it was like love at first sight again for the two of them. 

"...i love you, valencia, i never stopped loving you..." 

"...i love you too, nicky, i never stopped loving you either!" 

six months later

SMASH HITS

NICKY BYRNE, WESTLIFE POP STAR AND VALENCIA CALLAHAN ARE BACK IN LOVE AGAIN! SPOTTED DANCING, KISSING AND LOVING ON EACH OTHER AT ELDEST SISTER'S WEDDING! 

KENDRA BECKNER | EDITOR  AUGUST, 2000

do we hear wedding bells? yes, we do but, it wasn't for our favourite power couple but for another sister of one-half of our favourite power couple! okay, we've all been screaming and crying at the news that nicky byrne of westlife and valencia callahan of west end's grease has gotten back together and dating again. however, these new and exclusive photos and interviews have come from those in attendance at katerina callahan's, valencia's eldest sister's wedding to her new beau, west-end star noah vasquez. 

katerina is the eldest sister of the callahan clan with kayleene, the second sister that got married earlier in the year as the second oldest with valencia being the youngest sister of the three girls. and, katerina was the first person our smash hits reporters talked to in regard to the rekindling of nicky and valencia's romance and, we're here for the way in which mrs vasquez talks about her littlest sister and byrne. 

"nicky is fantastic...he is such a sweetheart, such a charmer but he's also such a gentleman and the way he treats valencia, my little angel, is the only way in which she deserves to be treated. so, knowing that they're back in their new and improved but still old relationship at my wedding is definitely a dream coming true..."  quote by katerina callahan vasquez, valencia's older sister 

kayleene callahan-rhodes, who was also at her older sister's wedding with her husband, bailey callahan-rhodes, also had a super sweet thing to say about her little sister valencia and nicky and, honestly, get those tissues out because it is a tearjerker. 

"honestly, there's no one else in the world that i'd want to see my sister with other than nicky byrne! they are the best couple in the entire world, nicky doesn't hurt her, make her uncomfortable or do things to or with her that she is unsure of. he is patient and knows when he's crossed a line. what a lad, i mean, i truthfully think, and this isn't me bashing me or katerina's husbands but, i genuinely think that nicky is the best partner out of the three of them and both bailey and noah agree. and, also, our parents and younger siblings all love nicky so, i mean, we all i think cried when we were told they first broke up but rejoiced when they got back together after valencia was discharged from the hospital and fully recovered. i just hope that the next wedding i'm a bridesmaid in that it's valencia and nicky's!" quote by kayleene callahan, valencia's other older sister 

katerina and her husband noah vasquez | pic: photography by ellie jameson 

for those who didn't know, before breaking up, valencia and nicky had dated for three years before that, starting their relationship in the year 1997 to when it ended in january of this year in 2000. however, the two little lovebirds have known each other since they were young cherubs back home in their lovely hometown of baldoyle, dublin. valencia was of course famous before nicky was known in not just the football world but then the pop world with westlife but when westlife was formed, when they were first known as westside, valencia was said to be the first west-girlfriend. which, she now shares with shane filan's girlfriend, cousin of bandmate kian egan, business graduate, gillian walsh and bryan mcfadden's girlfriend, atomic kitten's, kerry katona. 

talking with our smash hits reporters at katerina's wedding reception during cocktail hour, both valencia and nicky shared with us their joy of getting back together after valencia's last relationship that was abusive and caused her a hospital trip. thankfully, both were happy and elated to talk with us so, here is what they had to say. 

"...oh, i am absolutely overjoyed to be with nicky in a relationship again. he is truly the best partner in the entire world. he is sweet, he is cheeky, he is loving, he is caring, but most importantly, he is so patient and he understands that i'm still mentally and still in someway physically, recovering from the last relationship that i was in for a couple of months. and it was that relationship that ended with me being in the hospital that i was just discharged from not too long ago. and nicky's been brilliant the entire time of my recovery, actually, so has his entire family but, yeah, with nicky, getting back into the swing of our relationship was so easy and it just felt like i was going back home again," quote by valencia callahan, nicky byrne's girlfriend 

"...being back with valencia is like she said, going back home again and as cheesy as it sounds, it's seriously the most truthful thing ever! valencia is the best girlfriend in the whole entire world and, i'm just so glad that whilst we did fix some things in our relationship with one of them being that we were the priority, not our jobs, it was still the same relationship that we had had for three years before we split up. valencia is genuinely the funniest, sexiest, most talented person i have ever met and honestly, i could cry over her because of how much i love her and how much i am truly happier being with her again," quote by nicky byrne, valencia callahan's boyfriend 

even though we do love valencia and nicky, we also love the newly married couple, mr and mrs noah and katerina vasquez, here is a gallery of photos of the newly married couple and of nicky and valencia at the vasquez's wedding: 

gallery 60+ photos: click here

and if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that i'll be waiting here, for you and he was waiting there for her and, nicky finally got his girl back safe and sound.

fin

i said this the first time i wrote it but if ed sheeran was a little bit older in the early 2000s when happier was written, i am certain that westlife would have done an amazing cover version!

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