#the world needs more affection so can we please stop being weird about it

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Men just being themselves, being comfortable and secure enough to just be themselves, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUALITY, is not queerbaiting!!!!!!!

Just because our society has been so deeply steeped in toxic masculinity does not mean it's queer if a heterosexual man shows affection for another man.

Men can be gay and be affectionate with other men. Men can be pan, bi, etc. and be affectionate with other men. Men can be het and be affectionate with other men.

Stop playing into fucking heteronormative binary gender role bullshit and just let men be affectionate without reading into it.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hi! I really like your writing, and I was wondering if I could request a Yandere!Platonic 1st Years (+Grim) with an Eri!Reader?

How would they feel learning of her abused, trauma, and her unfamiliarity with general society and social norms? (Who’s looking murderous when they see just the scars littered around her arms and legs when her bandages are removed?)

Though it’s a whole different story when she says she sees her power as nothing but a ‘curse’, and her existence a ‘burden’ that only makes others suffer? All because of the man named ‘Overhaul’, the one who did this so her? (Who’s about to go feral when she admits she doesn’t remember how to smile?)

But she starts to become more positive thanks to Grim and slowly the others (She likes Grim and is very sparkly eyed because he talks, breaths fire and thinks he’s amazing)

Imagine when she says she made a friend all on her very own who’s ‘like her’, though they lightly chastise her that she shouldn’t talk with strangers (It’s Malleus, they’re both lonely, have horns she has 1, while Malleus has 2, have an incredible power that’s very dangerous, and they’re unfamiliar/slow with society)

Eri Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

You’ve been through so much….so you’ve been told. The pain, the heartbreak, the constant voice in your head that has guilt weighing on your little heart. Your transportation to Twisted Wonderland couldn’t come at a better time. They’re going to welcome you cage you to this new world more than willing to spoil you to your hearts content:

Grim 

“Oi oi servant they all think we’re monsters!”

“...yeah?”

“Yeah! So we gotta show them we’re gonna be the greatest mages in here!”

“Oh….okay!”

He’s the perfect chaotic companion

He teaches you to allow yourself to do what you want

Granted his guidance isn’t all knowing

No matter how tasty Heartslabyul’s tarts are you shouldn’t eat them everytime you visit — especially without permission

Either way you’re learning to forgive yourself and allow you to have fun

And leave it to Grim to say whatever snarky thing you’d like to say when your big-brothers get in the way

“Nyeh! You won’t be able to do anything against my flames, nyah!”

Ace Trappola

“Hey if I catch you moping about that plague doctor guy, I’ll sock ya in the head!”

“Ace?!”

“I-i-i won’t!”

In a weird way you’re so used to being bullied (by kai) that you tend to take his bully-affection to heart

You know he cares, he just won’t tell you often

He reminds you of a certain blonde…

It also makes you more privy to his very willing desire to steamroll over anyone he deems a problem for you

“I think he meant that as a joke, Ace…”

“Joke schmoke, I warned you, you stain! I’m putting you in the medical wing.”

“Ace, please!” 

Deuce Spade

“(Y/n), did you eat today? Are you feeling well? Do you need me to carry you!”

Mother hen of the group

He’s hovering close behind even when you don’t see him

Always making sure you’re safe and happy as can be

He’s teeming with anxiety if he’s not watching you himself

Even worse if you get hurt accidentally or on purpose

Now he’s Mama bear totally bearing the claws to protect you

He’s not going to leave you to defend yourself

Especially when your abilities hinge on your mental state

He’s trying his best

“Are you doing the breathing techniques Crewel recommended? Where’s your paper bag?”

Jack Howl

“Hello little one.”

“Hi.”

“Would you…like to sit on my shoulders?”

“Yes!”

Your #1 guard dog

Doesn’t have to worry considering Deuce is freaking out for him

He’ll be the sane voice of reason because Ace isn’t anywhere close to reliable in his eyes

Naturally he entrances you with his tail and overall dog-like personality

But don’t forget he’s got the bite force of a wolf that he’s not afraid to use if he deems fit

“Pup, don’t stop yourself from having fun or being…young. I–we will keep you safe.”

Epel Felmier

“You’re so pretty.”

“...Thanks.”

You’re the only one who can get away with calling him that

And he loves nothing more than escaping Vil to find out what other sweet makes you smile sweetly 

He’s also one of the first to join Ace as part of the self-proclaimed protection committee

He’s also one of the first to suggest taking it further than a mere beatdown

Anything for his new little sibling

“If there’s no body…there’ll be no problems.”

Sebek Zigvolt

“TINY HORNED HUMAN! WHERE IS YOUR DIASOMNIA PIN!” 

“Uhm…Ace took it from me…said it was unfair.”

“THAT FOOL. COME CHILD I SHALL BESTOW UPON YOU THE PIN AGAIN.”

Is definitely apart of a brainwash committee of his own and is insistent you become Diasomnia’s new mascot…under Malleus of course

His loudness sometimes scares you off but he means well

And will no doubt join the others if a few heads need to roll

“Rest easy, child. On my watch, no one will harm you.”

[floweiralx]

"My heart will always yearn for you, my love"

------------------------------------

note: this was HEAVILY inspired by another Tumblr post I saw. I cant remember who made it but it was also a muichiro x reader fic so if you know the user who made it please tell me so I can credit them

The bright flowers adorned the maintained garden, accenting and giving life to the lush greenery around. It was almost afternoon, yet you had not seen your boyfriend at all today.

You thought it was weird, he hadn't mentioned getting a mission, usually you two would be eating together right now. Deciding to go look for him, you left the garden and entered into your shared estate. You had called him multiple times, he hadn't responded. Weird. He must be with Tanjiro then, they usually hang out a lot so it would make sense for him to be there, right? You opened the door to head outside, going to Tanjiro's place to ask for where he was, you took a turn on a corner and saw a familiar long-haired man with teal tips, you couldnt ever miss it. Immediately, you ran up and gave him a hug from behind with a beaming smile, although he didn't return the embrace which was odd to say the least. He always did, even tighter. It made you worry was an understatement, you hadn't seen him at all today and now he wasnt returning your affection.

Nonetheless you decided to sit down with him underneath the tree, you found his eyes being drawn to the bright blue sky, filled with soft fluffy clouds. Cloudgazing was one of the things you loved to do together, you two would usually snuggle up and point out what clouds looked like. You lean your head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth he brings you as you smile to yourself.

The other hashiras watch from the corner. All of their eyes holding sympathy, they knew they couldnt keep lying to you any longer, but none of them wanted to bring you back to reality. They knew you didn't want to accept it, but you had to. "Do you think we should tell her? It breaks my heart to see her like this!" the love hashira exclaims, breaking the silence. She looks like she's about to cry, you and Muichiro were the youngest hashiras in the corp, prodigies for sure. Yet this world is so cruel, having the youngest people who still have a lot to live for, suffer the most.

"We should, this has been happening for a while. Im afraid she might keep drowning herself in her hallucinations" Shinobu speaks up, she was the most worried for you. Afterall, she was the one who had watched your entire love story unfold. From the moment you two locked eyes, and fell inlove. In the end, the hashiras had a hard time deciding who was gonna tell you, all of them were concerned of course but they didnt want to be the reason you would find out. Ultimately, all of them collectively agreed the insect hashira would do it.

You felt someone tug your haori from behind. You quickly turned your head to see a short-haired purpled eyed lady, she looks at you sympathetically almost hesitating to do so. She knows its best to tell you, but she can't stand whenever you look hopeless or down. "Kocho? Did you need something?" You ask her, tilting your head to the side slightly, it was a habit you picked up from Muichiro.

Shinobu takes a deep breath before crouching down and meeting your eye level. "[Name], stop. You're hallucinating again." "Hallucinating?". Her eyes soften, her voice becoming more gentle, she didn't want to hurt you. " [Name]. He's gone. Tokito is gone.". You stifle up a laugh, thinking it's a joke, "What do you mean? He's right here-" You turn your head around to find no one but a breeze, you turn to look at the butterfly lady, Shinobu wasnt there anymore.

Your eyes widened as you came to realization. You were hallucinating again.

Oh right, all of them are dead.

----------------------------------

[ftmdilfmode]

They invade my dreams every night...

Part 1

Tw: ftmpreg, alien abduction, forced impregnation, egg insertion, egg laying, egg birth, alien birth, cervical dilation, tentacle rape, accelerated pregnancy, rapid pregnancy, belly inflation, body inflation, anal tentacle, drugging, double penetration

POV: you are a trans man or nonbinary person with a uterus who goes to sleep and has a weird alien dream that feels too real.

This is not intended to be about cis women, don't tag it as such. Do not share this on blogs with d*trans related content.

I woke up in an office space full of sterile looking couches and a presentation screen. I looked around, not sure how I got to be sitting here, before it occurred to me that I was naked. I immediately crossed my arms over my chest, crossed my legs, and looked around the room in a panic.

I last remembered falling asleep in my bed, how did I end up here?

Two tall men in dress shirts and slacks entered the room. Both had unnaturally straight posture, and moved almost robotically. They stopped on either side of the screen in front of me as it lit up with a logo that resembled Saturn with a DNA strand as the ring.

"hello, human subject!" The one spoke, calmly but with little inflection. "I'm sure you must be confused, but as far as your physical body is concerned, you're dreaming! This is all happening in a metaphysical dimension your physical body can't exist in, but you are one of the few lucky humans who are able to interact with our dimension through the subconscious, which is why you're here!"

I opened my mouth to ask a question when the other man spoke. "We are part of an endangered species of interdimensional beings that your species often call "aliens" or "the fae", and our race is dying out. But you are the key to our survival!"

"why me? What do you need me to do?" I blurted out.

The first man spoke as an infographic popped on the screen. "As you see here, our species is able to reproduce through the human subconscious, primarily in individuals with specific hormonal and chemical levels such as your own. This won't affect your physical body, but while you sleep, you'll experience pregnancy and birth of different subspecies of our race. We're purely energy based beings, so our physical forms in this realm are malleable and our offspring have several default physical forms: eggs, egg pods, life offspring, and interspecies hybrids. You may experience the equivalent of a few days to a year here during each experience, but you'll wake up with your physical body the exact same in your world."

I paused. "So you want me to go through these pregnancies... In my dreams... To save your species of interdimensional light and energy beings...? This is a weird dream..."

The second man faked a laugh. "Yes, yes. This is a weird dream. May we start the first procedure?"

I sat up and looked around. "You're serious? Can I at least be somewhere more comfortable, with guys I find attractive?"

The room suddenly morphed into a large Edwardian bedroom with a giant canopy bed, surrounded by hardwood and carpets, with a fireplace in the corner. The men suddenly turned into model-like 6'2" Adonises, one blonde and one brunette, shirtless and wearing only boxers.

"we can make this comfortable for you, just lay down." The now blonde man suggested.

I laid back on the soft velvet comforter and spread my legs. "Please at least let me enjoy it." I begged as they both crawled onto the bed beside me. The blonde began kissing me and playing with my nipples as the brunette started playing with my tdick and slit, using my slick to lube my asshole.

"We need to test for capacity, but don't worry, we have something to make it more manageable," the brunette barely finished speaking when a series of long tentacles emerged from under the bed and hovered near my ass and boycunt. Before I could move, the men held me down as a thick wet tentacle slid inside my asshole and began slowly pumping me full of liquid, pulsating and writhing deep inside me.

I suddenly felt aroused and calm, compliant and wanting something big inside me. I wanted to have something breed me. I needed it.

I fell limp as tentacles grabbed my legs and spread them wide, the two men turning their attention to stroking my tdick and playing with my tits. I watched as another tentacle reared up before penetrating my boycunt, diving deep and thrusting hard against my cervix, seemingly seeing it as an obstacle. I felt a warm, cum like liquid flow into my cunt, pooling at my cervix as it continued to thrust until I felt a long pain and...

*pop*

It dilated and pentrated through my cervix, stretching it and making my body throb, but I couldn't help but moan in pleasure. I felt it push farther, reaching deep into my guts in a pulsating tangle, seeming to explore my entire uterus, tubes, and ovaries.

I felt it pulse and throb inside me as a bulge roughly the size of a chicken's egg, like the buldge of a snake's last meal in its belly, appeared to be pushed up it and inside of my boycunt, further stretching me. My cervix gave resistance before finally accepting the egg inside my womb.

The tentacle retracted and seemed to seal my cervix shut behind it, leaving me with a bump in my belly that looked like a 3 month pregnancy. I tried to relax into the pleasure, but the tentacle in my ass swelled larger and throbbed, stretching me to attention as it pumped more drugged liquid inside my body.

I look down at my swollen belly, feeling drunk. "Is that it? Or do you want me to push it out?"

The brunette smiles. "This was just phase one of the test. Soon we'll enter phase two, but don't worry, it's bio reactive. It won't get stuck or be fatal."

I try to sit up, but the weight of the men on top of me and my dizziness keeps me reclined. "Please don't hurt me," I beg.

The blonde gave a fake smile. "It's already inside you, and we have to know your body's limits before we do more tests. We'll increase the drugs and make this as painless as possible."

I feel a series of smaller egg-like capsules pump into my ass through the tentacle before bursting into a cream, and I felt an intense pressure on my lower stomach. I hazily looked down as my stomach grew, both of the men rubbing my belly and playing with my tdick and nipples as they watched me swell.

I writhed and fought as I watched my stomach quickly grow to the size of a midterm pregnancy, then full term, and within the hour I was as large as octomom, unable to move. I struggled to breathe as I was forced to orgasm repeatedly during the process, but soon I felt a shift and the swelling stopped.

I wearily lifted my arm and rubbed my enormous stomach, confused with a rush of emotions. Pain, pleasure, sickness, violation, pride, but... So, so horny....

I felt the egg shift from completely round to pointed and oblong towards my pelvis, realizing that both of the men and I had been staring at and rubbing my belly for several minutes, feeling the subtle movements. It was like a spell, and it finally broke with a strong contraction and the feeling of my cervix rapidly dilating again.

"what's happening?" I screamed breathlessly as the back to back contractions rocked my body.

"it needs to come out somehow. You should be so proud, this is the first birth of our species in several years." The blonde emotionlessly replied as he rubbed my tummy and tits.

I fell in and out of shock and drug induced haze as my body stretched and contracted, pushing down as hard as I could against the tentacles and men holding me down. My cunt burned and it felt like I was being split in half as the egg finally ejected itself from my aching, ruined cunt.

The blonde man took the egg out of the room as the brunette stroked my face. "You're the savior of our species. You have no idea how much this means to us. I'll fix you up, okay?"

A series of tentacles wrapped around my damaged body, instantly healing me to how I was before the ordeal. When I looked up, I saw the tentacle from my ass retreat as the ones holding me in place released me. I curled up in a ball and covered myself with the blankets around me.

"This was just the first test, it won't be that bad next time." The brunette attempted to put a hand on my shoulder.

"next time?" I almost scream, terrified. "I'm not doing that again!"

"oh, you don't have a choice. Your DNA, the testosterone you're on, your brainwaves as a result of being trans... You're one of the only people we can reach. And you can't stop us from reaching you. After all, it's just a dream."

You wake up in a sweat and check your body. Your tdick is hard and you're wet as hell, but otherwise nothing is different. You grab a vibrator to deal with yourself and can't help but remember it as you jack off, the image of your swollen body in your mind.

[nachofuck3r]

ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄᴀɢᴇ x ɢɴ!ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ/ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

After a high I flood of demand we are gonna have some of Johnny Cage x Player headcanons!! Because everyone is loved by him, shut up! He loves the player?!!!

CW: meantions of you having a dick (it could also be a strap), lotta dirty talk, mentions of breeding, daddykink, slight degradation. the nsfw section is devided into 4 different categories, Johnny being dom/sub Bottom/Top, so everyone is provided for.

SFW:

First of all I do really hope you are looking for needy, because in game Johnny is so very needy and desperate for you and your attention. He'll do absolutely anything to grab it and impress you. He's already an attention whore when he's not trying to rizz you up. But with you he doubles down, tries legit everything from sweet to sultry.

No touching, means double the verbal affection, so so much flirting. There is not one taunt he doesn't do for you.

"I'm packing more than a punch, baby" "How do I look from behind?'' "Your smile, is my fatality" "What if, next time, you finish me?"

At first you are freaked out and taken aback, when it comes to your attention, that Johnny shouldn't be doing marriage proposals, in the middle of a match. You're game must be bugged in some very weird and fanservice providing way.

If you indulge his advances, by flirting back or taunting him. He's freak! There is no way the sexy person controlling him is also flirting with him?! Over the moon, that's him right then.

But if you don't or actively reject his flirting, he will suspect you are playing hard to get. So he'll most likely double down and get more risque with his propositions.

"You're like, super tiny, man" "I'm not tiny, I'm in a game, but I can, 100% guaranteed, still rock your world"

Banter becomes a regular occurrence, with you all the while, improving your gaming skills and him mostly just longingly staring at you and trying to impress you with taunts, brutalities and special attacks.

"Why didn't you do the fatality?!" "Because you already performed one this round" "what- "On my heart"

Groan

If you get easily flustered and don't like the flirting, DONT change this mans skin/clothes. The teasing will be endless.

"You like dressing me up, baby?" "Stop calling me that I'm a grown person..." "You're right I should be calling you my spouse"

"Are you looking at my ass?" "No, I'm just checking- uhh" "Just admit you want me, it'll make everything so much easier."

Also don't stop maining him. He'll survive if you play other characters but if you do it long term and the come back to him, he'll be twice as needy, a little pissy and a lot more desperate.

"Is it something I did?" "No, I just wanted to play someone else" "So it was something I did?" "What does that farm boy have that I don't?" "A hat" "Not if you dress me up as Illinois"

At first his very obvious, overly flirty self annoyed you incredibly.

Yes he's sexy and he's also technically single.

But he's also in a game so?? What is a guy gonna do.

This is what a guy is gonna do.

NSFW:

Subby Top:

If you like your men whiny but also want them to wreck you, talk about convenient. Johnny is 100% the provider for your needs. Will not stop whimpering and whining outside of sex but when it gets heated. He cannot stop.

"Please, I need to be inside you so bad" "Fuck I just wanna breed you, want to see you so full, please" "I wish you could ride my face, I need you so badly"

Since he's kinda well INGAME, you two find other ways to be intimate, if its just masturbating, you playing with toys mostly.

SUCK HIM OFF! Or well pretend to, seeing you suck on a toy. Boom man is combusted and on the floor. There is nothing he would love more than paint your face with his fuck-juice.

Seeing you ride a dildo will absolutely kill this man, he'll be a needy mess through out every other match he has the same day.

"Sorry, I couldn't stop thinking about you riding my dic-" "Johnny I swear to every god available"

Subby Bottom:

If the thought, of Johnny being inside you isn't your speed, that's fine! He's a flexible and very versatile man. Plus let's be real, he does this stuff anyway. No way, this man hasn't fucked his own ass.

Subspace Johnny is a fucking mess, just picture him endlessly fingering his own hole, very sloppily.

"If only these fingers were your dick!" "I wish you could spurt inside me, I need you so much baby" "Gods, I need that cock in me or else I'll die"

Dramatic as fuck, but these sentences are just scares throughout the fingering. He'll mostly just be a whimpering mess. So it's very likely you'll have to provide the teasing and dirty talk this time around.

The sound of your voice, taunting him, while fucking his own ass, will make him squirt. Makes a mess of his own mansion floor.

"We should do this before every match!" "Be real- ugh as real as can be, you wouldn't win a single match after something like this..."

Dom Bottom:

This is essentielly the cocky and less whiny version of sub bottom.

You can expect so much taunting from this man, especially when he's pounding his own hole. Will not stop god damned talking.

"If there's a way for me to get out of here, the first thing I'll do if ride your fat dick." "Just thinking about your dick makes me cum" "That's a good boy/girl, stroke that dick thinking about my tight ass"

My guy prays every night, that he can become real and actually just absolutely destroy himself on your dick.

"Are you okay? That's the second match you lost today?" "Sorry, I did not get much rest"

Dom Top:

This is kinda the end boss of Johnny Cages sex life, this is just a part of him. This'll happen eventually, of course only if you want to. But being a dominant top is probably something he'll have to do every once in a while.

"I'm gonna fill this tight litte hole with my seed" "You're such a needy whore for me, for your Daddy" "I'm gonna paint your insides so fucking white, flooding you full of me" "You look so good sucking my dick baby, it's like this is what you were made to do"

Of course it's all pretend, it's just you needily fucking yourself in front of a screen. But both you and a man can dream that he is absolutely destroying your hole with his fat dick.

If you have a pussy he'll ask you to slap it, 100% wants to slap your cunt to get it sensitive. It's also like his favorite thing if you can squirt, he wants that all over him, making you squirt is like his main goal (if it's possible). So he'll often have you fingering yourself into an absolute mess.

"One more baby I feel like this is the one"

If you have a dick, he'll want it super sensitive. Will make you fuck your own fist for hours on end, even if you're spent. Bro wants to see you massage your own balls. He gets so excited thinking about you spurting all over your own stomach. Looking so needy and desperate for him.

"Come on, baby. Make a mess of yourself for daddy"

Little plus here for my T-Dick people.

He adores your dick. He'll ask you to show it to him every time you two get intimate. Wants to see you stroke it and finger yourself (only if you're comfortable), he loves how stiff it can get. Wants to get his mouth on it so bad.

"I want to suck you off so bad. Wish I could frot our dicks together, baby"

[3lle-l-black]

Season of love event @george-weasleys-girl

"— I can't imagine a world where I don't have you two with me..."

Girassol (Part 1)

Fred Weasley x reader

Warnings: More than one pronoun for R , long fic, twins call reader their Girassol 🌻, George x reader platonic, fluff and a little angst, Grumpy and Sunshine, English isn't my first language

Versão Português Inspired by Girassol - IVYSON

— Ginny, can you please stop talking about this for a second? – I stop in the middle of the burrow stairs, turning to Hermione and Ginny who are behind me.

— I'm just saying..

— Okay, an idea: stop saying

For those of you who have arrived now, I will explain the situation. I had the brilliant idea of dating one of Ginny's older brothers, Fred Weasley, after being friends with the twins for my first four years at Hogwarts. Don't get me wrong, was amazing, but after they left school and opened WWW, war became a real possibility and Hermione, Ron and I were worried about helping Harry.

In short, things got more complicated, we became distant and broke up. I didn't want but I didn't have the courage to insist. Anyway, we became 'friends' again.

Last night, while talking to Hermione I mentioned that I missed him and our conversations. The problem was that Ginny overheard, what brought us to this situation.

— I don't wanna talk about it, Ginny. I'll ask just one more time. Please. – I go down the stairs and head towards the living room with the girls right behind me.

— Ginny, drop it. Stop before you hear something you don't want. – Hermione says, noticing my irritation. They sit together on a couch, and I sit across from them.

— Everyone can see that my brother made an idiotic choice. I just think she could go talk to him, try to resolve the situation," Gina says, head down.

The night after the Seven Potters event.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were already asleep, I've been looking at the sky through the bedroom window for some time now, the stress of fighting the death eaters and the worry haven't let me sleep. I get up and go downstairs, maybe I can clear my mind by changing the environment and checking if the twins are okay.

George had fallen asleep on the couch and Fred would never leave his brother alone, so they slept in the living room. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I noticed that one of the boys was awake.

— Hey – I called him in a low tone so as not to wake the others

— Hey, can't sleep? – is George. He made to sit down, but I stopped him first.

— You don't need to get up, you have to rest and no, I couldn't. – I take out my wand and clean the bandages around his head. — Still hurts?

George looks at me with a teasing smile. — Have you forgotten who I am, woman? A scratch like that can't knock me down.

I roll my eyes and perform a healing spell to help with the injury. I sit next to George on the floor after placing my wand on the table. We talked like that for a while, maybe more than an hour, a sleepy George making jokes even in a bad moment, me leaning on the sofa and we trying to keep the laughter down so as not to wake anyone else up.

...

— Hey... I'm sorry our friendship got weird, it's just... I don't know, I didn't know how to act after your breakup.

— That's okay, I didn't know how to act either. I missed our conversations. – In the last few weeks, whenever the twins and I were in the same room, an uncomfortable silence would settle in, so it was good to talk to George, even in those conditions.

— I missed you too idiot, and you know... – I see him nod to the other redhead — I wasn't the only one

— Yes? Did he tell you that? – I ask skeptically, looking down at the floor. George got up and sat next to me with a playful smile.

— Yes, just don't tell him I told you that.

— Oh shut up, I think the spell affected your brain and made you more of an idiot than you already were. – My heart races at the thought of Fred admitting to missing me, but it doesn't change anything if he hasn't admitted it to me.

George was stifling a laugh when he curled up and let out a groan of pain.

— Are you ok Georgie? – I take out my wand and whisper a "Lumos" to brighten the room.

— Yeah, just a bit of pain, don't worry – Some noises can be heard behind us. George looks over my head and breaks into a smile. I follow his gaze to find a confused, recently awakened Fred. — Did we wake you, sleeping beauty? – George teases as Fred sits on the couch, letting the blanket fall to the floor and mumbles a confused "What time is it?"

— Are you the ones making the noise? Why are you awake at this time? – He blinks a few times, getting used to the light in the room. Suddenly, Fred's eyes widen, and I can tell that any trace of sleep he had is gone. — Did something happen? George is ok?

— Yes, don't worry, I couldn't sleep so we were talking. Sorry for the noise – Fred visibly relaxes, if I was worried about George, imagine him.

— It's okay, I got plenty of sleep – He stoops to pick up the blanket from the floor and covers himself again. Sleep... I didn't realize how sleepy I was until now.

— It will be dawn soon... What were you doing? I mean, were you here together a long time?

The look on Fred's face amuses George and we can see a gleam of mischief in his eyes. — The little girassol here was taking care of me, they're a great doctor, you know?!

I can't really follow the conversation, apparently Fred frowned at George's comment. Now they are teasing each other and laughing louder than they should. I always loved how chaotic they were together; I also always loved being in that chaos.

Fred's POV

A mischievous glint flashed across George's eyes — Ah, the little girassol here was looking after me! She's a great doctor.

I unintentionally frown, 'taking care of me'?

— You're a grown man, can't you look after yourself? – His laughter echoed around the room.

— Don't be like that, I let you play nurse too.

I let out a 'hole', starting to laugh too. George gets up and lies back on the couch. My eyes wander around the room, and I see the 'little girassol' is unusually quiet. A smile lights up my face when I realize she's sleeping, leaning on the couch in an uncomfortable position.

I stand up and put one arm around her back and the other under her legs, trying not to disturb her peaceful sleep. I carefully lift her into my arms, and she snuggles up against me, her face resting in the crook of my neck. Her soft breathing stopped my own for a moment. I freeze, realizing how close we are now.

I turn around and put her on the couch. Once I'm sure she's in a comfortable position, I sit down in front of the couch. Can't help but keep my eyes on her. She shifts a bit, and without thinking twice, my hand reaches out to sweep away a couple of strands of hair falling over their face. She's just so darn lovely.

— I can't imagine a world where I don't have you two with me – Before I can finish my train of thought, a scream echoed behind us. George and I quickly stood up, frantically searching for the source of the sound...

Remembering that English is not my first language. please read with your heart

[astrojulia]

Why big post about Aries in Aquarius season 😫 do one for Aquarius please

Hello dear,

It's because I need order.. if I don't have it I end up doing nothing, LOL. But I stopped to think and did something else... (okay, the Pisces Season just started, but whatever 😆). There's an old post of mine that I gave a good rework, I hope you like the new version.

They have free and unitary thinking - Even though they are the sign of the community, we cannot forget that Aquarius is the FIXED air sign, in addition to having been ruled by Saturn for many (MANY) years, so it understands that the community exists , but that there must be space between the self and the world. In this, in this space that Aquarians create between themselves and each other, what is most affected is their mind and consequently their worldview, this means that everything that passes through this person's mind first passes through their Aquarian lens, which changes all the information they receive by sharing their experiences and learning. Got confused? So let's go. The Aquarius man (or woman... or others) is that person who will listen to something and say something completely different, not because he is crazy, but because that said “something” triggers a series of experiences that these people have already had making A equals B for them… even if only in the mind, that's why weird dots get connect and it's not possible to control the Aquarian's reasoning.

They like the different - Wow, that's obvious Julia (← that's my name, okay), but it's true when we say that they are attracted to the different for simply being different, whether in fashion or in ideas, they will look for different plastic artists , clothing brands… Aquarians, however, will settle for something some time in their life. Once they are older,they have a more specific taste and that will accompany them for the rest of their lives, this could be a color, a band, a haircut… And this taste of theirs can even become a trend for a while, but when it doesn't, they'll still like it.

They are stylish - It is in my humble experience, women mostly. First, let's remember what the word style really means :“set of trends, tastes, characteristic ways of behavior of an individual or group”, that is, it is not what is in fashion. Having an Aquarius friend is seeing a piece of clothing and knowing it's going to like it because it's just like them. As I said before, they have a specific taste, even more so when they get older (young aquarius are still testing everything). At the beginning of their lives they do things to really shock, combining adolescence with Aquarian rebelliousness reminds me, and a lot, of the cyberpunk style, but after a while, they can continue wearing their Mohawks until they are 70 years old or simply, being in love with a cardigan, but you know THAT cardigan from your aquarius friend.

They have a creative mind - A creative mind in my view is one that will find a way to express their feelings, their soul in some way, so it's not surprising to see an Aquarius working in the arts or in more everyday jobs such as hairdresser and makeup artist. Aquarius have a taste for creativity, they have an artist's soul and the need for creation, you won't see every Aquarius with a watermelon around their neck, but maybe, when you go to see the character customization of one of their games, the character has hair green, purple mustache and orange vest (yes dad I'm talking about you)

They have a hidden side - They have something very similar to their former ruler partner Capricorn, which is separating the personal from the professional. They are one thing inside the house, another thing outside... but now this goes on to all other areas of their life, the emotional and personal of an Aquarius is hidden by their rational and social, the Aquarius will say what it believe to be the best for that moment, what it believe people need to hear and often leave their opinion aside, they do what they think will be more harmonious or what will bring more progress to their social bond. I've heard and read from several people (non-Aquarians)who see Aquarians as someone who likes to cause chaos and seek to "cause problem", but being honest, one of the greatest desires of Aquarians is to be accepted in society... do you think that they do this “by chance”? Or just to piss you off? You have a great ego, congratulations.

They give their best version - Out in the world, they always give their best, their brightest and most humanitarian side, but when they don't feel willing to be positive that day, they isolate themselves until they “return to normality”, soIt's super normal if your Aquarius friend doesn't see their cell phone for a while, they'll only answer you when they feel ready, not everything is ghosting ok.

They are selective - When you just meet an Aquarius it will talk deeply and a lot with you, but it's a test to know your commonalities and your character, if after that they don't have an affinity with you, you'll just be a colleague to greet, but you will not be their friend. Knowing this, yes, they are very annoying sometimes, even more so in societies where being extroverted is seen as a quality and being introverted is almost like a disease (I'm talking about you Brazil…), but they are there selecting what and who they will spend their energy on and many people will be left off the list.

“The Aquarius energy” - I see this energy as the energy of humanitarianism. When you went through the selection of the previous topic, you see that the Aquarius person likes to raise the mood of any situation, I see this through two methods, being them being logical with the solutions to problems or being able to see the positive side of everything that happens, no matter the way the have choose, they want to see their small group well and mostly together. I see a lot of aquarius people going to events and places they are not a fan of, but doing it because their group likes it a lot and they are happy about it.

They always want that person who doesn't care about them... - For some reason, they always fall in love with that person who isn't giving them the slightest bit of attention, that they need to put up a sign saying "I like you" to their crush knowing they exist.. Aquarians are romantic people, especially women, and they like a challenge, so for some reason the idea of earning their own lover and going against all negative possibilities is something that excites them.

They are connected to sounds - Remember when I said that they have different taste, are stylish and selective… This happens a lot with music. That person who lives with headphones listening to music, who doesn't drive without it radio... Probably Aquarius. I see many having a favorite band, others who like only one style of music, but Aquarians are people who have a soundtrack to their life and their senses are very involved in the sounds they hear.

They are terrible liars - You probably don't know this part, but one of the symbols of Aquarius is the titan Prometheus who, even if he got screwed afterwards, brought fire to humanity. One of the representations of fire is truth, it is stepping out of the darkness and knowing what is real and that spark runs through all Aquarians. And well... the lie is the opposite of the truth, so people who are always looking for the truth don't end up becoming a good liar. I'm not going to say they don't lie, I do (and I'm an Aquarius) but they tend to blurt out what they really think rather than blurt out a lie that they end up screwing themselves over it. The biggest part of not being able to lie is not being able to lie to themselves, they can't deceive themselves to do something they don't like for example, because their nature does not allow them to do what they don't think is right. Also, they are good at detecting lies too..

They joke about everything - You know that person who makes an uncomfortable joke in the middle of a tense situation?…Nice to meet you, Aquarius. Many will be surprised and even irritated with them, and yes, over the years many Aquarians learn not to make jokes with people they don't know... but they are the kings of sarcasm, that's why they always put a joke in the middle of a tense situation.

They love to question - They are very curious and can't see an opportunity to learn more passing in front of them, so if they have the openness to ask and delve into the subject... they will ask and delve further into the subject... it is also a great strategy for them to strike up conversations and get closer.. so pay attention to this if you're into an Aquarius person.

They love change - Aquarius is a free spirit and air sign, so they don't like to put down roots and always change a little behavior to have a new routine, a new job or even go to a new country…. But we also cannot forget its fixed nature and its regencies. Being from Uranus, they always want to see new things quickly, for the world to change as quickly as possible, after all, chaos is the spark of creation, and with Saturn… they love change, but mostly in others, when others change to do something, because many times the Aquarius wants to continue doing the same and the make the other moves the gears of transformation.

They are liberal - Are they judgmental of others' behavior and beliefs? Yes. But for them. “Is this person's belief good for me?”, it turned out, what the other does (which is not illegal) is the other's problem. You'll see them in many different social groups, not wanting to change anyone's opinion if no one asked and will let you have your way... just don't forget that the Aquarius won't change them for you either.

They seek positivism - Aquarius always seeks to make the best of the situation and people, so they will always see the reason for what happened from the other's point of view and will place less blame on the shoulders of others, things happen because they have to happen, they don't always have a culprit.

They know how to take criticism - If you got a "no" from an Aquarius when criticizing them it was for two reasons, either you haven't known them for a long time or they don't see you as an authority on the subject, Aquarius knows that others will be able to see details they don't understand and seek help from those they trust for advice, especially in the field of love. Yes, we know that sometimes it is necessary to be more humble and accept the opinion of people that we see as laymen... but it is difficult LOL

They are magical beings - They have a different energy, they try to connect with the spiritual and with nature in some way because they feel the need to clean themselves from human connections from time to time, they are very affected by other people's energy, that's why they resort to various spiritual practices and alone time.

Magic hands - This is certainly the most curious one, Aquarians are tactile and touch sensitive people, so they have a lot of energy in their hands and can develop techniques like reiki and massage very easily and they are nice about it. Now can you understand a little why they hate agglomerations and hugging and kissing people?

Sources: Astro Elias - The 19 secrets inspiration Template by sorberts on tumblr PSD by wildfireresources on deviantart

[doomed-era]

also. i was going to ask this before but i didnt know how to word it: any zelda tropes you like/dislike? stuff like fairies being guides for link or the concept of sages/Legendary Sword or how link and zelda are always depicted or reoccurring characters like impa or beedle or epona. though theres probably not. a lot of tropes considering most games are vastly different from each other. uhh yeah if youve got nothing . things that were done from a zelda game that you liked?

OOH. tbh I had to think about this a bit (my gripes are usually with the fandom and how they depict the tropes as a Strict Narrative Rule) but! I do have some

UH ONES I HATE. this is gonna be long no matter what so it's going under a cut

Number one has got to be making link into a super special boy for basically no reason!!! being from a special type of knights is. so irrelevant to everything else about alttp link that I think a lot of people legitimately forget this. it barely ever comes up and it's honestly not that important to the story except as an excuse for why link's the only one that can grab the pendants and pull the master sword, which. why not just have him be the one to do this because he's just really determined? Ocarina of Time...tried this, sort of? almost completely irrelevant AGAIN. in twilight princess and wind waker they are just some guy basically and this is the best direction they could have gone with his character. except they ruined it in botw and ss and I will neverrrr forgive them for this. botw link beats up grown men at five years old he's like superbaby instant knight and I HATE it. it's just stupid. I don't even care that it applies pressure to him as a character and seems to affect him; they could have just made it an in-universe lie and it would have had the exact same effect so genuinely screw that trope

number two is calling random soldiers knights stop fucking doing this. i dont care that its fictional fantasyland it annoys me

number three! the 3D games' great fairies! I hate almost all of them the oot/mm great fairies are freaks, botw ones are so pretty but they're creepy as hell, and twilight princess is just a naked lady and it's stupid I hate her. wind waker minish cap and alttp fairies are gongeous though

number four. everyone thinking link is cool and or hot. I hate this in universe and in the fandom. I don't care that the devs wanted to make him """"cool"""" he's 100% always a LOSER!!!!

number five I hate the hijacked by ganon trope in zelda games so much. STOP ffs please let ganon/ganondorf take the spotlight we all love him. or let another villain be the main baddie

ok now for ones I like :)

nunberone...SENTIENT MONSTERS SENTIENT MONSTERS BABEY SENTIENT MOSNTERS ILVOE SRENTIERHSDJKFHSFHAAAAA

GRRAAA ITS A SECRET TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOE THE MOBLIN!!! KING BULBLIN SAYING HE FOLLOWS THE STRONGEST SIDE!!! THE ENTIRE DARK WORLD ITS SO

two. npc companions...rips off my shirt to reveal another shirt that says I LOVE MIDNA AND TATL AND EZLO AND KING OF RED LIONS AND GHOSTIE ZELDA AND MEDLI AND MAKAR AND TETRA AND SIDON AND YUNOBO AND

number three...I love random gods and spirits that are just hanging out because. keaton malanya zephos satori light spirits what have you. theyre great I need more of that.

number four incredibly weird npcs. need i say more

number five soldiers being extremely incompetent and dumb or getting possessed. soldiers as enemies or easily corruptible people

number six that one character that doesn't like link. you know what i mean (revali. groose. mido. iirc ralph? maybe? I haven't played much of the oracle games)

number seven hyrule with a dark and bloody past. and not only that but a fairly simple presentation of it that's clearly hiding a more complex underbelly. its just neat to see simple, clear-cut writing tell you so much with so little. it's a big reason I love alttp; it's simple but there's so much grief in it

number eight uh. clawshot/hookshot :] good stuff

[ryuichirou]

You’re probably tired of so much KaliJami but headcanons for RSA!Kalim x NRC!Jamil?

Also, how do you feel about genderbent? Like one of them is female or both are female? I’m sorry if you answered this before.

Not at all! We’re not tired of KaliJami, we actually like them very much, so please don’t worry and keep asking if you want to. It just takes a while to get to them with all the other ships, as you must’ve noticed...

Ohh, RSA!Kalim and NRC!Jamil!.. Sounds fun, we’ve actually discussed a little bit the fact that before Kalim was transferred to NRC, he could’ve been in RSA – because where else would he be? I mean, we just don’t really know other schools, and RSA is known for its over the top goody two shoes. But before I list a couple of headcanons, I’ll answer your other question.

In general, we love genderswap, I draw genderbent characters from shows we’re into from time to time. But it doesn’t work as well for us with twst for some reason? It’s hard to explain, and we’re not opposed to it: there is some really pretty art out there with genderbent characters from twst. But I guess it’s just unlikely that we’ll draw or post anything, although you can never know for certain with us lol

We also tend to genderbend both characters because this world needs more girl+girl couples with interesting and messed up dynamics. A lot of times this is our main motivation.

 Alright, so headcanons…

Kalim misses Jamil a lot. For the first time in their lives they’re separated like this, and it affects Kalim on a much deeper level than he anticipated. He has a lot of friends in RSA, he has a bunch of servants that went to live with him since Jamil isn’t around, but it’s not the same without Jamil. Simply because of that Kalim is actually having a hard time at RSA, even though he spends his days laughing and hanging out with Che’nya, the gnomes, Neige and pretty much any other RSA guy.

Kalim messages Jamil every day, writes him letters, calls him, he is actually quite obnoxious about it. Jamil is very annoyed by it and doesn’t always reply, but if Kalim were to stop texting him for like 5 hours, Jamil would probably get concerned about his well-being and call him. The codependence is strong.

Jamil visits Kalim at RSA more often that he would like to admit; sometimes Kalim asks him to help, sometimes Jamil feels that he needs to check on Kalim because something was weird about him the last time they talked. He also sends him food regularly and even helps with his homework… he does a lot of things he does in canon, but now he also has to travel back and forth for it. Jamil really hates it, and it’s not like he absolutely has to do it, Kalim isn’t forcing him to, but he just can’t help it. When he thinks about Kalim being there alone (even with a team of servants), he starts feeling anxious and loses his sleep over this. Which kinda makes him hate Kalim even more… because Jamil really thought that he would be free from all of this for once in his life.

Jamil asked Kalim not to come to NRC several times, but Kalim is very stubborn and excited about the idea of visiting Jamil, checking out his dorm, meeting his new friends, etc. Deep inside, Kalim feels this unusual (to him) and strong jealousy and frustration, because he doesn’t get to hang out with Jamil as much as people from Scarabia do. His first instinct is to befriend them, to get to know them better, in hope that it will make him less jealous and hurt, but this probably won’t work. Although he’ll definitely become a star at NRC rather quickly, because he is loud, charismatic, sweet, and people love him. Jamil, on the other hand, feels absolutely exhausted every time Kalim visits him…

One day Kalim decided to completely ignore Jamil’s pleads not to visit him at NRC (at least because it’s dangerous for Kalim to travel alone) and arrived on his magic carpet. His excuse? “But I really wanted to see you, Jamil! And no one got hurt, so it’s good, it’s good!” I’m sure they unintentionally recreated the balcony scene from Aladdin, granted Jamil was much more tired and done than Jasmin. But they still went on a magic carpet ride, because the alternative option was to let Kalim stay in Scarabia until morning.

[buckybarnesss]

Okay I was sitting at work very innocently when I had a thought: theoretically, after Peter resurrects himself, do you think Derek would have let him live if Derek didn't need him against the kanima?

I'm torn. Derek is a sentimental person, but he didn't really have any visible hesitation in cutting Peter's throat the first time. Do you think Derek would just keep him at arms length, or take him out again?

this is a fantastic thought.

peter's death at the end of the first season was a perfect storm. derek was put in a no-win scenario by peter. he had to kill him.

it was personal because peter had killed laura for power but derek was willing to work with peter even though he murdered his sister. not happy about it but willing. but peter had proven himself dangerous to more than just the people involved with kate's conspiracy. he bit scott. attacked lydia and was generally terrorizing the community. as if peter wouldn't have come back for adrian harris at some point.

his shift had taken on a monstrous form showing what he was on the inside like we are later told in abomination.

i know when we talk about the episode title code breaker we are generally talking about kate. she broke the hunting code by killing innocent people but it's also peter. peter broke the code of the hales. they are supposed to protect beacon hills.

peter and kate in season 1 are different sides of the same coin. just as kate couldn't stop neither could peter no matter what either of them said. it was only going to keep escalating. their madness had to be stopped.

there's also derek knowing if scott killed peter he'd become an alpha. in no way is scott prepared for that level of power at that time. he struggles even when he does become an alpha when he has more experience and support.

also derek just didn't want scott to have to kill someone. he wanted to shield scott from that reality.

it's also so, so complicated between derek and peter. i think peter was pleased and proud it was derek that killed him in a perverse way. derek finally being pushed into what peter always wanted from him and it also preserved the alpha spark staying in the hale line.

now after his resurrection? peter isn't so lost in madness. he's more even keel in temperament. he is still manipulative and scheming but he's something derek recognizes and knows how to deal with. from derek's perspective it's almost normal and so long as peter behaves and makes himself useful than derek doesn't feel it's necessary to kill him. besides if he's close than derek can keep an eye on him at least.

peter knows all that though. he counts on it even. he knows as long as he fulfills the role of beloathed uncle and is just helpful enough, gives enough of his knowledge than derek will keep him close and that's protection.

there is no one left in the world with any semblance of sentimentality towards peter hale and he needs that.

he just doesn't want to acknowledge his own sentimentality. before cora's return and malia's entrance they are all that's left of their family.

peter grieved his family. still grieves them. their loss drove him mad. he helps derek retrieve talia's claws, he is happy cora's alive and is distressed and upset when she's ill and near death and he's greatly affected by learning about malia's existence. he tries in his own weird way to be a part of malia's life. i stand by that he regrets killing laura but felt it was necessary.

he could simply walk away and abandon derek but he doesn't to go do whatever it is peter does when he's not on screen. i think everything peter feels about derek can be summed up in his reaction to derek dying in smoke and mirrors. he has places to be, people to kill, schemes to wrap up and a large part of it is his fault but he's not unaffected.

after smoke and mirrors peter gets put in eichen. they don't kill him. which is the more cruel fate?

i think derek has already mourned peter more times than he cares to think about. he's mourned so many versions of peter already. lost and found peter so many times. would peter dying permanently be more than a gentle letting go? or would it hurt knowing that peter wouldn't come back even to haunt him one last time? i think if derek felt peter needed to be put down again he'd do it otherwise he lets it be. his beloathed uncle, the devil he knows, and the ghost he thinks he deserves.

[taegularities]

i mean this in the nicest way possible because i truly love you, but i wish writers in general wouldnt try to force reader engagement. i often reply with feedback, but at the end of the day, you should be writing because you want to, not because you want validation. i dont know if its just me who feels this way, but when writers constantly mention needing feedback or they wont write/will stop writing a popular series, it feels like a threat. i dont want reading to feel like a chore, where i need to constantly be validating my favorites so they dont get taken away from me. i love you and your writing and i wish my likes were enough. sometimes i, as a reader, dont feel like engaging/leaving notes. sometimes i just want to read and move forward. i feel like many writers have turned appreciative comments from readers into an obligation.

again in no way is this meant to be hateful towards you, i feel like this can apply to many of my favs. i just needed to get it off my chest and hopefully assure you that we like your writing, even if there's less engagement. if you disagree with any of my points, please tell me/ask me to clarify. i dont want to hurt your feelings and i would love to hear from the writer's side!

hiii! no worries, thank you so much for being respectful and wanting to hear my opinion, as well. i know some people let these things out in the rudest manner possible, so i appreciate that <3

so, the reason i haven't been writing atm is because i lack the time and energy to write :') this year has been crazyyyy busy, so i just don't get to it anymore – and since i've been away/less present for a while, i guess i also drifted away from tumblr, too, and then felt like people might've forgotten about taegularities, and then i wasn't sure if the effort would still be worth it (i get insecure at times, but that's a me-problem). now, the reason i (and many other writers) have this worry is bc writing requires an insane amount of energy and brainpower – when i tell you that so many of us actually slave over just a scene or even a paragraph for ages 😭 (example: the last cmi update was far shorter than what i usually drop, but it took me days to just edit one scene). we ache to write all the time, but life also gets in our way – i barely get time to sit down and work on my fics these days… so when i do get time, i want to put it out there into the world and then see the reactions, too… i write for myself, ofc, but for you guys, too, so i can share that joy; or else i'd keep the fics in my docs, right?

and in that sense, when we write something in the rare free time that we get and that we hope others will love just as much as we do, we do seek some sense of validation, even if that sounds odd. it's like – imagine you studied for a test for like 2 weeks, but then don't get the results you hoped for (which might be a weird example, but effort-wise, it's similar, even if fics don't affect writers' lives in that sense). i know there are many who just write and don't care for feedback (even tho i've seen even those who say this be sad about reader engagement which – very valid), but i think that most who expose their soul and heart like this, do want to see people enjoying it/speaking about it/hyping it up. every creator, be it in the movie, music or art industry, loves to see reactions! and think about it – most writers get so genuinely excited when someone sends an ask that doesn't say more than "i loved this so much!! you're such a good writer!!" which is insane?! like, i know that i do – i get so happy and remember these comments 5ever, and it's a 2 sentence review as opposed to thousands of words. the effort here is unbalanced, but we still love it so much. and you don't need to write an essay, you never never do!! i swear, it's always enough to even get a few words or sentences <3 which, in the end, isn't a lot to ask for, you know?

i'm not saying i will stop writing my series. i would stop if it got 0 reactions OR if my life stood in its way too much; i'll keep loving what i write and write out of joy, no doubt. and tbh, i don't care about notes either. like, i remember "ruin you" getting way less notes than cmi but GOSH we had so much fun back then bc of the interaction and the craze made me so happy hahaha and yeah that's what it's essentially about – community. does that make sense? it's tumblr where likes don't make a post circulate – reblogs do, so yeah, unfortunately, likes are not enough :( i wish they were. i totally get what you mean, though. even feedback shouldn't be an obligation, but if you truly like somebody's work, it never hurts to send a tiny message. it really means the world to us when something we adore and are so proud of – creating art, sharing our heart, wanting everybody to see this love – is met with so much joy. and it's fics, you know – we love love love writing, but it's something that can be read. and we want people to read it and we're legit sitting there like "👀 and?? aaaand?" lol it's so nice to know when someone truly appreciates something… ofc you don't have to comment on my stuff, but i promise feedback makes a difference. it's why so many do leave :/ i hope that made sense!! once again, thank you for being respectful!! i love you, too, and am truly grateful that you're here and enjoying my stuff!! <3

[fluideli123]

Watching the Paw Patrol movies is actually a really interesting phenomenon between looking at cute puppies experience found family and seeing dog camps and eugenics just casually thrown into the plot so well that you have to spot and point while your jaw drops.

Like, what do you mean Chase was abandoned by his original owners in Adventure City? Shows Megalophobia and even Agoraphobia because of it? What do you mean this CHILD was nearly ran over? Near death? Like did we truly just brush past that?

And not to mention Skye? Girl was born different from everyone else and faced dog ableism for being "small and weak." She faced worth issues because of how she was born and so it caused her to believe she needed to "fix" or "enhance" herself in order to be worth a damn? Also she ALSO nearly died in a blizzard?

I need more movies, because what the fuck happened to the rest of the pups? Like jesus christ how can the lore get even darker????

Also I can and WILL analyze Ryder for HOURS! That boy obviously went through some shit to always be pulling his lil dog children away from danger and thinking completely side lining them in okay without a proper discussion. Like! Sure! I get you, but, sir you could do so much better what held you back??? What happened in your life that you would know how to get your hands on high tech and merchandise like it's your passion?

Also, my live reactions to the movie so ya'll understand how far the illness goes:

[IMAGE ID: The following images are messages between myself (A), dakota (D), and pyro (P). I start the conversation:

A: ...I'm sorry dog camps? Chase can you stop being relatable

D: Dog camps?

A: Humdinger literally is rounding up all the dogs in the ity and putting them into a "reformed" obedience school and it's- it's giving dog camps

D: Oh. /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: PLEASE! Okay but humdinger is the embodiment of capitalism and ecological terrorist

P: oh he is /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: GIGGLES! Also I think Ryder is a blunt guy but his intentions aren't ever mean. He also is so one to explain after an event is over [why] he chose a decision but it's not what the pups agree with because they're impatient and because Ryder has a flaw in it

P: Amen

A: Headcanon that Ryder grew up in a strict household so his pup parenting is affected. Not that it excuses it but it just explains his tone and such

P: Truth

A: I am so invested in Paw Patrol lore I regret nothing /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Me when- me when Chase is believed in, told he is brave and deadass jumps an entire broken off building just to get to his dad Ryder

P sends a crying cat emoji

A: I am so not okay, something about the second movie makes me think [Ryder] learned from Chase about "we do it together" and "giving second changes and not putting people on the side lines easily"

P sends mant crying cat emojis along with: The silly dog movie made me feel so much /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: P: Rocky I love you so much oh my GOD. Diagnosing him with the 'tism

A: Please do PLEASE! Chase is giving MacKenzie from Bluey about abandonment

D: God why do you inflict this damage upon us-

A: Because it's the truth and I only speak the truth /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Something about the scene with Rocky and Chase sleeping and her shaking her head [and in the second movie wanting to] constantly prove her abilities gives me Trans Vibes I don't know /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: I agree!! Plus, it fits into the eugenic themes in the second movie and [Skye's] story. Still hung up on doggy camps gotta be honest. That shit was a weird click in my brain

D: Well, camps do have a certain history for the world so, makes sense

A: Yeah, no I agree, which is why I keep thinking about it. Like collecting mass groups of beings you despise and think are lowly into a confined and horrible area to be dealt with?? Yeah, man, I don't know

P: That sure was something

A: For real, like, I don't know, it's definitely Chase lore and if we're gonna connect that to something than that's a can to spill /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Mhm mhm!! Also something about Rumble knowing science is my favorite thing ever. Boom!Knuckles and Movie!Rumble need an entire series dedicated to them being them(tm) /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A series of images on the same topic read:

A: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I also believe Zuma gives biracial vibes, don't ask me why

P: YOURE RIGHT! Zuma keeps being forgotten i think that should be fixed

A sends a gif of Zuma dancing while stating: I agree I could never forget that sweet pea. I headcanon him as afro-latino Asian, the pup gods told me so

P: I'm the pup gods

A sends a gif of Marshall filling a kiddie pool with Chase, Skye, Rumble and Zuma, stating: WHEEZE! Chase gets to be white passing Latino. Skye gives Cajuns decent. Marshall is the only white boy. Rumble is only half white and I don't know what the other half is

D: Filipino, why? Because you couldn't decided and I'm a whore for Filipino representation

A: YES! I AGREE WITH THIS! Chase is Latino, Skye is Cajun, Zuma is Asian Afro-Latino, Rumble is White and Filipino, Marshall is White! "Why are you giving dogs race and ancestory" BECAUSE I CAN AND I WILL

D: Because it feels right /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Something Something Liberty trying to define herself by others around her and not herself. ALSO! "Amplify things about us" and it's about Skye flying and being strong, something something, she was always strong and deserving of her title and position she was just the only one who thought she had to be more /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: Two images on the same topic that state:

A: Also Liberty always enhancing or being a double example of the main lesson and theme and even plot is something that is important to me

P: Liberty is very important to me. She's also the oldest trust, I'm the dog nerd

A: In the first [movie Liberty] wanted to join something she admired and wanted to serve something bigger than herself which enhanced Chase's story about worth, that fear is something to overcome and not stop you, to get back up again and fight for what you want.

A: Also Liberty pushing Lil kids to get their potential reflecting and enhancing the theme of how much Skye pushes herself because she has something she wants and always thinks she has to prove it by pushing and doing things on her own [when she] shouldn't have to /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Also to add into the eugenics themes, Skye believing she has to be "enhanced" (made better) to have her full worth and power to display just because she was born differently than everyone else

D sends a deeply concerned emoji

A: Chase's story being about bravery and Skye's about Bodily Worth /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: P: Ryder actually makes me so mad. I'm sorry I try hard to love him but he makes me SO MAD

A: Ryder when he took Chase to when he nearly got ran over, Ryder not letting Chase or Liberty or Skye join when they're having a hard time, always putting even pups he doesn't know very well first about their will being by ending a program and it makes me think so AGGRESSIVELY that he's afraid of losing them and so he keeps thinking leaving them in safe places is what is best when it's NOT

A: NO SAME! Ryder "to ensure everyone's safety I have to leave people behind" Papa. I need to analyze him so bad. What happened to you to make you like this bro

P: I see where he's coming from but oh my god he makes me so mad /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: No, I agree, in the next movie I need [Ryder] to learn, man. [Skye is taking all [the crystals] SKYE DON'T! Don't over compensate for something you don't even need to :(((. The eugenics hit her hard. Also they're so found family coded, Ryder saw all these kids and adopted them and helped them find themselves and their purpose and supports them so heavily and I need to bash my head in about how much they mean to me /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Skye's movie is also about how accessibility and community is important but putting her worth in your "incapabilities" because you were born different. Also ableism [from Victoria saying] "need me to slow down Lil pup" /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Also Victoria's parallel to Skye using her "madness" aka mental instability and personality disorder and Skye's physical disabilities. I am right give me my Paw Patrol award /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Token girl [Skye] becomes an actual fucking character I adore and love and need more of

P: Token girl proves she's not just a diversity hire

A: With her own movie too! Oh, this scene, this scene makes me GO INSANE. Ryder "I need you safe my daughter please come back to me." No pups too small go girl go! Skye against ableism- Ryder thinking he lost his daughter and her brothers thinking the same thing! Trans girl power! "How can a puppy be trans" Because I said so!

P: And you are right!

A: Doesn't she have trans vibes?! Like I cannot explain it [she is] Trans because she was Born That Way(tm)

P: She does! She does! /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: "Protect all those who need our help!" Skye against ableism! I love her so much! She's healing! 10/10 movies, man. Also something something the pups cars and armor being symbolism for disability accessibility

D: Okay now make an essay about it right now/j

P: /srs /END ID]

All in all, if there's one thing to take away from this post it's the following screenshots

[IMAGE ID: A: I need to start making Paw Patrol fics now

A: I am about to feed the paw patrol fandom /END ID]

[thepowerisyouth]

Eh mental health is annoying. Buying & cooking cheap low-FODMAP diet is annoying. My best top note for now is I'm using this blog to practice writing. I need more practice in it. I only know business, accounting & economics stuff. Its stupid stuff. Theres too much actual fraud everywhere that its annoying

Also I use mobile so formatting sucks cause Nvidia GPUs, or Arch dont like tumblr site. Or tumblr site dont like tumbkr site

Also also I 100,000% support all my fellow ones-and-zeros and their identity. Everyone is welcome here.

Except transphobes/zionist/long list of others but you get it. I'll help harrass any of those types endlessly if someone wants to tag me, and bring me in on an argument like that friend you call for backup with fights

Im unhinged so who's to say exactly what will end up here but this is also a completely public blog to me friends, family, hell, even acquaintances i dont give a fuc.

Blog should be expected to be roughly as child-friendly as simpsons or bobs burgers. But also boring like a civics/economics lesson sometimes. Yay

--------

I (and my husband) am ex mormon. Its a weird thing. Look into it if you havent recently. Realllllyyyy look into. Takes time to figure it all out in this fuckin fucked up world.

I just moved a year ago. Didnt watch the US stock market as much as I normally do. Had my first snowstorm 10 weeks ago, that was.. fun to handle while ill prepared. About 6 weeks ago I was hopping back on the market and notice its a huge tech bubble about to pop and all the conditions Ive been warned about my whole career imply this is not good. Just took a little more thinking & digging and I'm a little too confident to stop talking about it now.

(Oh I'm also care-free as fuc so I dont really read or desire to change past posts more than lil-nitpicks. More informative for the reader & myself-in-the-future-reading that way)

And I'm not kidding I do love feedback & questions. Its a very public blog tho so I get that part for sure.

If you search "life story" in my tags I had that pinned for a min Im just moving shit around rn

Being poor sucks. Will write more on that later.

---------------

First of all-- the exact timeline of an "economic shock" is literal insanity. Dont worry about the exact timing of any of this-- just know its doomed to happen soon.

Here are some effects I predict of this upcoming economic downturn

If anyone comes across any sources for these events that support my arguments please feel free to add in comments, reblogs, etc.

This concise list is mainly for my own reference, but it would be great to add to it if any one has something to add!

0.5. US Stock market collapse-- I have no desire to try and predict this one exactly. Too many conspiracies are actually correct about this big guy. Lets just say 7 US Tech stocks are worth 25% of the entire worlds market, roughly. "Too big to fail"-- I believe is the phrase

1. Corporate (slightly later will be residential by extension) real estate crisis: currently way too overvalued. Most of the houses, land, & urban corporate property we see could stand to decrease by about 60-90% from its current price.

2. Bankruptcy crisis: similar to the after-effects of the 70s inflation-- we can expect to see a huge wave of bankruptcies affecting a variety of business: from the micro-self employed; to the small business with leased buildings; to the largest corporations who commit massive accounting fraud & hope to escape accountability in time

3. Bank runs-- there is an extremely high overreliance on the Federal Reserve, who does not have good control over this situation. Once it becomes clear that there is a crisis (we call this a catalyst event)-- bank runs for physical cash are a surety. Hard to say how long a crisis like this might last. I should ask my siblings who lived near the SVB bank crisis hotspot (but those were rich fucks they do their "bank runs" over the phone)

3.5. Global currency collapse, which takes effect in every single local, state, & national economy at slightly different times. This means prices lower. Much lower. But takes time

4. Whatever the fuck the geopolitics is gonna do???. Its weird. You got Russia wanting to invade Europe? (Look at global economic forum 2024) Trump wants to let them. Biden wants to be an establishment corporate ass. North Korea has changed its #1 public enemy to South Korea (dont remember my source but it was a couple months ago). USA is stationing more troops in Taiwan, but probably only because of semiconductor technology?

The scope of our global financial woes are larger than can be explained in any of our lifetimes. Its much, much closer to pre-revolution France or the late 1920s. Big change is coming. Itll be soon

5. More to come

[nosferattusx2]

I suppose, we need more Knock/Orlok stuff!

You suppose? You suppose?

Not a single person on the internet has ever drawn Knock nor Knorlok, at least I could not find anything.

I keep pioneering in these weird rareships, I was the first one to ever make a HolPol fanfic on Ficbook and now this. Maybe it's because it should have never been made.

The past 2 days have been a constant battle of whether I should respect the legacy or indulge into my obsession. And you know what?

Fuck it, we ballin. I am the beholder and this is the beauty. Michelangelo, Leonardo, Davinci - they're all dead. I REMAIN as an artist. And ART is what I DO and what I WILL DO. I don't care (that I care) what anyone thinks.

Murnau would go insane if he saw this.

I might not be that good. Their faces look a bit bad if you don't zoom into them, plus they aren't recognizable. However, I have a certain theory: with enough attention to detail and stuff to keep your eyes&brain occupied, even the ugliest pieces can be nice to look at. So please, look at the rats and the walls of art, I put all my souls into them. There's a lot of stuff. I really did have fun with this.

You know, since this is a longpost already, I had a realization at some point - fiction is fiction. All fiction is equally nonexistent. So the canon version and this are not inferior to each other objectively. Subjectively - maybe, but subjective perspective will be gone and it can change. The truth of it all being not real will remain forever.

Do you realize how much power humans hold? We can create whatever we want, but we hold back because of "cringe", I say - stop it. The best way to battle anxiety is to do whatever you want. Show it who really can affect the world.

I remember holding back, I remember being afraid of someone judging me, even though in the end it was only my self who really cared. Now, I will not repeat my old mistakes.

I will post old evil men being involved in a relationship.

That's it. I'm making an AU where Knock and Orlok "live" happily, and I don't give a single shit about anything. They will be gay (gay as in happy).

And nobody can stop me.

Except Death, probably.

(That's a lie he will cry and delete this account in like 6 months)

At this point it is impossible for anyone to know whether I'm a really dedicated shitposter or just unhinged. I would like to keep it that way.

Thanks a lot for this request. Please, please keep leaving them. I will do every single one.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Voice Through the Nothingness Part 6

Series Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Contains: Angst, fluff, death of a child, hurt/comfort, still a slow burn but I'm teasing you with flirting.

4.5 K words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #a voice through the nothingness.

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.”- Isaac Asimov.

"These fucking stitches won't stop itching." Thomas had recovered in leaps and bounds since Billy started working with him. He was in online school four days a week, making strides in rehab and his videos had drawn in five high paying clients after their kids saw his videos online.

"Well don't itch them unless you want Hazel to appear from nowhere and yell at you." Billy loved his daily rehab session, not just because he got to work on getting better but because he got to watch Hazel in action.

"Dude just ask her out, you're clearly into each other." Billy hoped it wasn't that obvious, he was doing his best to hide it.

"We're just friends, plus, she's basically my nurse, it would be weird." Dr Charles had brought it up in passing that sometimes patients develop feelings for their caretakers but Billy dismissed it, giving him some line about only dating models.

"I have some news." Thomas sounded conflicted.

"Your parents told me, you'll still have your job once you're discharged." The one thing that was getting hard was watching people leave, sure Billy could do the basics but he couldn't live on his own yet and living in the hospital was getting old.

"I'm going to apply for college classes through the online school, I was wondering if I could use an office at Anvil to study while the house is being built?" The job had paid so well that Thomas' parents had been able to buy a derelict lot where they were going to build a house.

"Hell yeah. I'll get it set up for when so it's ready when you leave." As the disappointment at his limitations came over him Billy put all his energy into his next goal. In truth, he didn't have to do much more before he could finally go home, it was just that those few more steps felt like he was walking across the world.

****

"That place was so fancy. Shit if we had that at the VA life would be easy." Curtis had come to Billy's rehab session that day and had spent his whole time swapping stories with the staff.

"Why doesn't someone bring it up to one of those congressmen you guys protect? I'm sure there'll be something in it for them." Billy had to give it to Hazel, she was always coming up with solutions.

"Why not? Politicians love a good comeback story." Billy was ready to get back out there and all this talk about Anvil was making him itch but right now, Hazel and Lizzy were enjoying their break while he and Curt waited for the football game to come on.

"Can you pass me more fries please?" Billy reached across the table and passed her a handful before she dipped them in sauce and tucked in.

"Real classy, Hazel. You know it's rude to eat so fast?" Billy felt she chest swell with affection for Lizzy, he could tell how close her and Hazel were.

Hazel gasped in mock offence, "Hey, I'm super classy."

Lizzy huffed, "I once watched you eat a jumbo burrito in six bites while hunched over a sink."

Hasel tossed a balled up napkin at her "hey, what happens on a double stays on a double."

Curtis chuckled, "Don't worry Hazel, we've all been there."

Billy smiled and stole a fry off her plate, "yeah, Frank once opened an MRE pouched and down it in one swallow."

Hazel's eyes went wide and she laughed as the vision took over her brain, "wow, I don't know how he managed that but I'm impressed."

Before Billy could reply, a beeping pulled Hazel's attention away, "well looks like I'm needed back on the ward. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

Billy nodded, "yep, I can't wait."

Hazel huffed and gave him that half smile he had learned meant something unpleasant was coming, "you say that now but you have another capacity test tomorrow and I'm not letting the doc go easy on you."

Billy was hit with a mix of emotions, anxiety, apprehension and excitement. "Well then, I better prepare myself."

"Yeah, you better."

****

Billy was awash with nerves as he slowly walked to the occupational therapist's office for his capacity test. It was only four days ago that Thomas was talking about getting ready to leave and now it seemed Billy was in the same place.

"Where's Hazel?" She told Billy she would be there and she was nowhere to be seen.

Lizzy swallowed, "something's happened with one of her patients, I don't think she'll be coming but I'm sure she'll do her best."

Billy rubbed his face as his anger grew, logical he knew she couldn't always be there and there were plenty of times in the past when she was busy working and couldn't spend time with him but as he was leaning in therapy, emotions weren't logical.

"Then were's the fucking doctor?" Billy just wanted this over so he could go back to his room and work on his program.

Lizzy pointed down the hall with a sigh, "just there. Try not to Hulk out, please. If you get through this you've got six more tests to go and then you can go home but if you take a step back emotionally they won't let you leave."

Billy took a deep breath, remembered what Dr Charles had taught him and centred himself as the doctor approached, "alright, we better get this over and done with."

"That's just what I like to hear Mr Russo. Step into my office and we'll start." The doctor opened the door and Billy stepped through, the room was filled with household furniture and exercise equipment. There was a bathtub, steps of various sizes, short balance beams and a handful of things that Billy didn't recognise.

"We'll start over there at the steps, I'll get you to place the ball of your left foot of the edge and try and balance without holding onto the rails." Billy focused on what he had been learning in rehab and tensed his core as he followed the doctor's instructions. It took some doing but he managed to balance without wobbling and the doctor smiled, "good, swap feet please."

The right foot was easier and Billy felt his confidence grow, "good job, now you're going to walk up the steps backwards, do your best to not hold on." Billy turned on his heel and focused on the wall in front of him as he took the first step, then the next, and the next.

"A little bit faster please." Billy felt the frustration rear its head again, he was trying his best but he still did what he was told, "good. See that bathtub over there?" Billy nodded, "You're going to stand next to it and we're going to practice stepping over the edge and getting inside. Once you have that down, I'm going to spread some water on the inside and we'll see how you do on slippery surfaces."

Billy was done, he couldn't stop the rage he felt come over him, "Fucking hell, I'm not some old fuck in my nineties with a broken hip. I've been showering alone for months if you'd taken any time to look at my chart. And who the fuck walks upstairs backwards anyway?" He wanted this over so he could go back to his room, if he thought he was going to waste his time doing this shit, he wouldn't have bothered.

Billy wasn't going to hit the doctor but he wanted to, "Where's Hazel? You can't explain anything for shit and I'm getting sick of it." The look on Lizabeth's face only spurred Billy on, "how the fuck is anyone meant to get better when you don't tell them anything. You clearly don't…"

Lizabeth stepped closer with her hands raised, "Billy, you're right, the doctor should be explaining everything but what's done is done. How about we all sit down and go through what you have left to do and the doctor can explain why, how does that sound?"

Billy took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down, "yeah that sounds good."

Lizzy glared at the doctor one last time before waving towards the desk, "you ask him any questions you have and I'm sure we'll be back to the ward before you can blink."

****

Billy couldn't stop looking at the clock, Hazel was late for her visit and she was never late, "where is she?" His fingers tapped like he was trying to drill a hole in the bed.

"I don't know man, maybe she's busy. There was a huge pile up yesterday, she might have extra kids to take care of." Frank was worried, Billy should be happy he passed his test and was one step closer to going home but all he could focus on was that Hazel wasn't there to celebrate with him.

"Her shift it over, she should be here." A part of Billy's mind knew he was being stupid, she might have had to pick up another shift but she always dropped by to let him know when she had done that before.

"Dude, calm down. Hazel doesn't need to be here every time you do something, being without her isn't going to kill you." Frank understood why Billy was acting this way but it didn't make him worry any less. "I'll go see with Liz knows what's going on, maybe she'll tell you why Hazel isn't here."

Frank left Billy the stew in his feelings, the realisation of their absurdity coming over him as he sat in the quiet. At least Dr Charles was coming later so he could talk to him about how he was feeling.

When Lizzy walked in, he knew something was wrong, "I'm sorry Billy, I really thought Hazel would be here. I shouldn't be telling you this but maybe you can offer her a shoulder once she comes. A kid was hurt badly in the pile up yesterday, it's been touch and go all night but he took a turn this morning. She's sitting with him until he passes."

Billy was hit with a wave of shame, he had no reason to complain, "where's his family?"

Liz shook her head, "he's a foster kid, he doesn't have anyone. She paged me about half an hour ago to let me know it won't be long. She should be here in a little bit."

Billy swallowed, "maybe she should go home a rest, it's not like I have to see her today."

Liz gave Billy a soft smile, "nah, I'm sure she wants to stop in and say hello. Dr Charles will be here in ten anyway so you'll have something to occupy you before she arrives."

"Thanks Lizzy, I'm sorry I was an asshole today." Billy knew he shouldn't have yelled at the doctor but he couldn't help it.

"It's fine, but I expect you to talk to your shrink about it." She didn't sound upset at him but she did sound sad.

"I will, don't worry."

****

Dr Charles arrived right on time and Billy was grateful he could read people so well because he looked sad too, "Have you seen Hazel today?"

Dr Charles nodded, "I did. I'm sure Lizzy let you know why she hasn't stopped by."

Billy nodded, "yeah, is she ok? I know you can't me a lot but doing that can't be easy."

He gave Billy a soft smile as he sat down, "No I can't tell you much but she's how you would expect. It is the healer's paradox, to be good at your job you have to get attached, but if you get too attached, then you can't do your job effectivity. I hear you passed another test today, you must be proud of yourself?"

"I don't know doc, I thought I would be but I'm just pissed off." Billy knew this was normal, he had good days and bad days.

"Well has something upset you or are you just upset?" This was a common question in their session, the answer was always mixed.

"I want to go home and I'm sick of being treated like I can't do anything for myself. There's no point in talking about what I was before the explosion I know that but I want to move on." Billy didn't know what he was trying to say but he learned that's ok too.

"You're allowed to be angry that you feel stuck, most people would in your situation. How have the nightmares been?" Billy had been coming off the meds slowly, Hazel was right, the dreams are weird.

"Not terrible, I'm still sleeping at least five hours and I can remember them when I wake up. I've been dreaming about my mother a lot more." He took a breath, "I hate her sometimes."

"Who wouldn't, she left you all alone in the world. What happens in these dreams?" Dr Charles was always so kind, it was easy for Billy to answer.

"I dream about how I found her but this time she's dead and her eyes shoot open and she's screaming at me, blaming me for everything. I would have given her the world, I would have given her everything she ever wanted if she had just wanted me." His breath caught in his throat.

Dr Charles paused so Billy could compose himself, "But you still took her in. You got her to one of the best care homes in the city and you visited her every week before you got hurt so you do care for her. If she could answer your questions, what would be the first thing you would ask?"

"Why she didn't love me enough to keep me? I've seen the parents in rehab, they would do anything for their kids but my mother abandoned me. I want to ask her if she ever thought of me, I know she never checked on me, she could have taken me out of that group home but she didn't." Deep down, Billy knew why, she was a drug addict most of her life, the only time she was sober was when she was carrying him and the moment he was out, she was using again, she couldn't be a mother.

Dr Charles nodded, "I think her giving you up was a sign that she loved you and I'm sure that if she could have kept you she would have. You're very likely leaving here in the next month, how do you feel about being able to see her again?"

"I don't know. Frank's been keeping an eye on her so I know she's doing ok. It would have been nice to have her here." Billy was feeling better by the moment but he always felt that was during his therapy sessions.

"You're allowed to not know, that's what we're here to sort out. We have some more time, how about we pick up where we left of yesterday and walk through the explosion again?" Billy could remember most of it now, he could even remember parts of the ambulance ride but there were still blanks and he hated it.

"Sure doc, I'd like that."

****

Knock knock

Billy was expecting the dinner cart but when he looked up he was greeted by Hazel with a little while box in her hand, "hello." 

Billy smiled, "hello, what do you have there?" 

"I made some cupcakes yesterday, I brought you one to celebrate your success in your assessment today." Despite her smile, she sounded so sad. 

"Wow, cupcakes from home. You must have a lot of faith in me if you brought it in without knowing it I'd pass." Frank had gone on and on about how great her food was, he only wished he could try for food under happier circumstances. 

She sat next to him at the table and slid the box across, "I do. The cupcake is triple chocolate with chocolate icing." 

Billy opened the box, the icing was beautifully piped, and little chocolate shavings were dotted around the icing peaks, "shit this looks good." 

Hazel smiled, "please wait till you have dinner, I don't want to ruin your meal." 

Billy chuckled, "sure." She still seemed sad, even if she was doing her best to hide it, "Liz told me what happened today, are you doing alright?" 

Hazel shrugged, "no but I'll be fine. It's not the first time I've had to do something like that and it won't be the last. I'm sure you've been there before too, comforting someone in their last moments is easier than you think it's going to be." 

Billy nodded, "I've been there more times that I like to count, but you're right, it's strange how easy it is." 

"His name was Harry, I didn't get to talk to him but he was wearing truck socks. The end was peaceful." Hazel's eyes were stuck on a stain on the table. 

"You did the right thing staying with him, it happened a few times when I was a kid. The nurses always made things better." He reached across the table and took her hand in his, it feel like too long since he had touched her. 

"No one should be alone at the end, I don't understand why he didn't matter like everyone else." Hazel's effort to take a deep breath and compose herself failed and her chest heaved. Billy slid around and wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her head in his neck as she started to cry. 

Something about it felt right, like this was what Billy was supposed to be doing. He could see himself being there for Hazel after a long day at work, sitting with her on the couch while she talked about her day. Her arms slid around his body and he hugged her tighter as she calmed down, "You're getting so strong." 

Billy chuckled, "yeah, like you said, you're kinda mean. I'm worried if I don't lift enough weights, you'll hit me with them." Her laugh filled his chest with warmth. 

Hazel pulled away and wiped her face with a sniff, "I'm sorry, that wasn't really appropriate." 

Billy waved his hand, "no, it's fine, we all need a hug sometimes. Maybe you should stay here for a while? You can get dinner from the cafe and we can watch some MMA reruns, you know, end the day on a good note." 

Hazel smiled, "that actually sounds really good." They shifted around and Hazel settled next to him while Billy turned on the TV, "you wanna get something from the cafe too? We can use my discount." 

Billy smiled, "sure, what's good?" 

Hazel thought for a moment, "only four things, the fries, the cheese melt, the greek salad and the ice cream sundaes." 

"The cheese melt sounds good, maybe we can get two of those and two salads?" Billy was happy that Hazel didn't sound sad anymore. 

"Good idea, we can order when the meal cart comes along." Hazel shifted closer and their knees touched but she made move to shift away. 

"Can I share my cupcake with you?" I'll feel bad if I'm the only one enjoying it." Billy wasn't going to lie, he was trying to charm her. 

"I'm not going to say no to that." The way she looked at him made Billy think it was working, "I have some good news, Thomas' last day is on Friday, we're going to have a little party for him and it would make everyone really happy if you were there." 

Billy smiled, "I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

****

Friday came in a rush of more time with the occupational therapist and Billy running himself ragged to make his next milestone so he could leave. He was happy to go to Thomas' party, he even got Frank to bring him a nice pair of jeans and a dress shirt.

When he walked into rehab, Hazel was already there in a set of light blue scrubs covered in sunflowers and a party hat. The smile she gave Billy when she saw him lit up the room and she waved him over with a flurry. He smiled at her as he took in the details of her scrubs, "you look nice."

"So do you, I love the shirt." For the first time in his adult life, a compliment from a beautiful woman had him feeling shy.

"Are these your party clothes?" Billy wondered what Hazel looked like in a dress, he imagined she could look good in anything.

"Yep, I only own scrubs so I have this set when I have to go somewhere fancy. I have a lacy set for dates." Billy took a deep breath, she was flirting with him and he was going to give it right back.

"Ooo, red or black?" He had no idea what had changed but he liked it.

"Green, it suits me." He could see she was holding back a giggle but she didn't do a very good job and with a smile from him her face was breaking out into a grin.

"When you two are done with the foreplay, you wanna come and celebrate?" Lizabeth had been looking at Billy strangely since the night Hazel showed up in his room and he wondered if Hazel had told her something.

"Sorry Lizzy, we'll be right there." Hazel turned back to Billy with a smile, "no funny business now, we got to keep room for Jesus when we dance."

Billy shook his head, "I wouldn't dream of it."

****

This was the most fun party Billy had been to in a long time, over the course of his stay, Hazel had taught him that children had much richer lives than he thought and he found himself listening to them go on and on with genuine interest.

Right now, he was chatting with one of Thomas' friends from the ward about how New York had the best Pizza because of its water. Hazel was looking at him every now and then with a smile on her face and Billy found himself wondering what it would be his life would be like if she was in it in different circumstances.

Hazel came wandering over with two cups in her hand, handing Billy one and giving the other one to the boy he was sitting with, "are you telling Billy all about the superiority of New York water?"

Billy smiled, "yeah, I'm mean, now that I have all this information, I'm definitely going to win the debate every time this comes at up work."

"New York Pizza is the best miss, there's no question." Billy could see how comfortable her patients felt with her, it was like magic.

"Well, Mr Doran, maybe Hannah would like to hear your theory." The boy followed her eye line then popped up with a smile, gave Billy a quick goodbye and raced off.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Billy could see clear as day that the boy had a crush on the girl Hazel had just pointed to.

Hazel nodded, "Of course, they've talked every day since she checked in. I'm just helping him out, her favourite food is Pizza."

Billy chuckled, "is there anything you can't do? You're the best nurse on the ward, killer in rehab, an amazing cook, a matchmaker, hell, you're even a good shoot. What's your secret?"

Hazel smiled and reached out her hand as the music grew overhead, "I don't know, maybe I'll tell you after a dance."

Billy took her hand with a smile as everyone moved to the middle of the room and placed the other hand on her waist. They kept a respectful distance but that didn't stop Billy from trying to take in every detail of her face, the realisation that she was a foot shorter than him hitting him like a ton of bricks, "you're kinda short, you know that?"

She giggled, "I work with kids so it doesn't matter. You got something against short people?"

Billy's chest filled with lightness, "no, I'm just making an observation."

"Ahh, an observation. You make a lot of those." Billy wasn't going to lie, he enjoyed flirting with the nurses and doctors on the ward but Hazel was something different.

"Are you telling me I have a reputation?" He couldn't if she was boosting his ego or giving him shit but he liked it either way.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure if you weren't a patient you'd a very busy man." Something about the nurses talking about him behind his back emboldened him even more.

"Hey, I'm a romantic, who says I wouldn't find a winner and settle down?" Hazel knew that was bullshit, Frank saw to that every time he had the chance.

"I'll believe that when I see it Russo." There was a pause and he got caught in her gaze, he couldn't remember the last time a woman looked at him the way Hazel was. His eyes drifted to her lips but before he collapsed under the overwhelming urge to kiss her, Thomas' parents called everyone over.

She blinked like she was yanked out of a trace and smiled at him, "are you ready to day goodbye?"

Billy smiled back, "it's not really goodbye, he's going to be working for me."

Hazel let out a single laugh, "yeah, you're right. Come on, we better go get us some cake."

Billy's fingers itched to pull her back in but he stopped himself, "good idea."

****

"You know he's not technically your patient?" With the party over and everyone back in their rooms, it fell the Hazel and Lizzy to start the clean up.

"Yes he is, I was instrumental in his recovery. I don't know what you're getting at Liz but you need to drop it." Liz could see Hazel's feelings from a mile off.

"But he wasn't, other than helping in rehab, you gave him no medical care and need I remind you, his friends helped him in that area too." Lizabeth knew that it wasn't unusual for patients to devolvement feelings for their careers but she could see this went deeper than that.

"And you know that no matter what, there's no way to tell what feelings are real and what's been caused by him being hurt. He was there for me at one of the worst times in my life for half an hour and then I didn't see him for two years. Nothing good can come from pursuing that." Hazel might have had feelings for Billy, but there was no way she was going to act on them.

"So give it a few months and then try again. You know the hospital won't care. I know you might be blinder than a bat when it comes to this stuff but this isn't what you think it is." Liz knew her friend, she knew Hazel would never take advantage of a patient.

"I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't treat Billy like a child by thinking that his feelings are only transference. He might have a head injury but he's not stupid." Liz knew that was a low blow but she knew that's where Hazel was going to go.

Hazel sighed and put the broom down before turning to her friend, "please don't. Just let this go. In a few months he will forget about me, he needs to leave all this behind him."

Liz huffed, "you don't know him very well at all."

Part 7

[isca-rambles]

5x22 Oh god I'm anxious already before I even press play. I know what happens in this episode for the most part, but good lord I'm still nervous. How people can watch tv shows/films without spoilers beforehand is beyond me. It never takes away my enjoyment, it just makes me slightly less likely to have a full blown anxiety attack during. Ah, brains. So fun when they work like shit. Okay...here we go. Pressing play. Now. Now. Oh god don't hurt my babies. I do love the fake D&D talk though. It's so cute when shows try to pretend they know what the fuck they're talking about. Hexes don't affect saving throws, ahem, only ability checks. Unless they're using a different edition, I guess. Or homebrew. Oh god no my babies. Do not go down that dark alley at 4am in the fog don't do it please for the love of god. AND DON'T SPLIT THE PARTY. Jesus. WHY. Oh god why. To quote Lucy (and break my heart again), why are you doing this?! Celina, my baby. Aaron, my baby. God I hate this episode but I also love it because it's such a good episode and it has such a terrifying vibe. But good god. Tim and Lucy turning up together. The only respite I'm getting from this episode is them being next to each other. And yes, that jacket is so his. God the 'one of our own is in peril' episodes are always so good and always so bad for my anxiety. The angst is delicious but it hurts so much. Boyd there in the background behind Nolan. Bastard. But also why did they drop the ball so much on this big bad in S6? The strike, I guess. But they had such a good build-up and arc and it just fizzles out. Weird they don't have Lucy working on the riddle, honestly. She did so well on the last one. Is Celina still not getting a hug from anyone? Give this woman a Lucy hug, she is in need! Oh god. Grey. Don't or I'll cry. Oh god Lucy and Tim. She doesn't need to ask for a hug this time, he knows. He doesn't ask her what she needs, he knows. She folds so easily into him and there's no hesitation this time, there's no distance, no longing or lingering and then separation. They just fold into each other. Her hand on his heart, his hand on her head. Cradling each other. God the callbacks are killing me. And no doubt what's going through her mind is how they never even got a chance for this with Jackson. Never got to get him to hospital, the doctors never got to try and save him. Aaron had Celina. Jackson was alone. I'M NOT OKAY. I do wonder why they didn't go after Tim and Lucy in her apartment. Maybe because it wasn't remote enough compared to Nolan and Harper, who have houses. Maybe because they knew there'd be two cops there, two guns, whereas Harper and Nolan's partners might be less well prepared for defense. Maybe Nolan's call got to them in time? I know they get their own ambush at the end with Luke, which is equal parts terrifying and badass to see our power couple hold their own. And also I don't want more trauma for Lucy in her own home. But that is a fic idea, I guess. What if they'd gone after Lucy and Tim, instead of Nolan or Harper? God, poor Harper and James. Jesus that must be the worst feeling in the world. Oh my god this episode is still so tense and I know everything that happens. Or another fic idea, Tim and Lucy acting as bait in her home? And I know there's been a good few, but I need more hotel fics of everyone hiding out there or going there at the end of 5x22. I need more comfort fics after the ambush, or in the build-up before it. Fic prompt idea, what if they didn't abort before that door was opened and the trap triggered? Obviously no MCD, just think of the Chenford angst of being caught in a bomb or trapped in that building. Lucy's little glances with Tim. Wopez baby, my heart. Tim's smile. Give this man a baby, please. Just to hold. Damn right Lucy's not going on her own. I know you can handle yourself, Lucy, but no way you're going on your own during this crisis. Also guys stop flirting as you're entering this hell building. I mean don't stop.

Oh god this scene gives me heart troubles every time. It's such a good scene, aside from the fact they're not shooting at their legs. But otherwise it's such a brilliant scene. Our power couple just being so badass, protecting each other. Tim saying he'll hold them off, which is certain death, and Lucy instantly giving him a look of 'screw that'. And the way Tim doesn't fight back. He knows she's right and he knows she won't leave him. How in sync they are during this whole fight but especially at the start. Lucy and that shield! Tim practically dragging her up the stairs and then pushing her. He has to keep her safe. He knows she's capable but he cannot lose her. And god how small Lucy looks when that attacker has his hands around her throat. How terrified she looks. Because she can't die here and she can't leave Tim on his own to face them all. How desperate Tim is to get to her. How he just grabs her entirely and pushes her ahead of him, supporting her and guarding her. And he of course forgets all of his cop instincts and rules because he has to keep her safe. There was a gorgeous fic I read and again, I can't remember by who, but saying she was his hands and he was her eyes. Tim looks so terrified when that door opens, because he knows he can't do anything to protect them. He hasn't got any ammo and he can't reach a weapon because he has her. And Lucy holding that gun up in desperation, trying to protect them both.

And Tim still doens't let go of her. He guides her in and onto the stairs. He can't let go of her because holding onto her, even just her vest, is reassuring him that she's still alive. I just adore the power couple protecting each other so much. It's not saying she's weak, we know she's more than capable. But that doesn't mean he won't do everything in his power to keep her safe. You protect the people you love, regardless of how well they can protect themselves.

I know it was too fast paced but god I would've killed to see them just have a moment together on the stairway. Reassuring each other they'd okay. Touching faces, hands. Forehead touches. Head kisses. Anything. We still have that contact between them, but no way Tim is not holding onto her for more than a second. She's not leaving his sight and he's not leaving hers, so they're both going after Moran. The little look between Lucy and Tim. I need so much more comfort fic set after this episode.

God this really is such a brilliantly done episode. The music, the shots. It's all done so well. It's just a shame it didn't really lead anywhere much in S6.