#the woman: oh baby no i meant in the bedroom / steve: did i stutter

[five-wow]

any woman steve is dating: baby, tell me what you like

steve, with zero hesitation: danny

[sebbies]

chances

a/n: i haven’t written anything in literally four months so i’m sorry if this is kind of jumbled.  word count: 2.826 masterlist

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Y/N and Jacob Greene At the Cathedral of Hope On December 7th, 2018

No. Bucky blinked at the words on the light pink coloured rectangle of paper until they no longer seemed to be real. You wouldn’t. You couldn’t. To him this was yet another dull and doomed relationship in your continuous string of poor choices. He still couldn’t understand how he was so oblivious to the best thing that ever happened to him and now since you’re no longer standing in front of him, he realises how dumb he was.

He plopped down on the stool next to the kitchen island, throwing the card haphazardly across the top. The groan that left him came from deep within and he couldn’t help but let a few curse words slip through his lips as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Bucky glanced back at the card and slid it towards him. Huh? He scoffed as he analysed the details of the invitation. There had been two large coneflowers intertwined with each other atop the wording. She hates coneflowers. The font was rather obnoxious, barely readable. Pretentious. He held the card up and wiggled it in the air, paper is thick but inexpensive, he deducted, couldn’t even splurge on the paper. The church name, he had seen it somewhere by the financial district which meant it was near his work. Minimal time off work needed, with a girl like that? Everything else about the invitation was generic and disdainfully common.

The lack of a name on the envelope would usually make it hard to discern who the invitation was for, but since he knew Steve and Peggy has sent in their RSVP a month before, it was quite clear it wasn’t for them. Bucky crumpled the card in his fist and threw the balled up paper across the kitchen and rested his warm forehead against the palms of his clammy hands. His stomach began to churn making him wonder if that sandwich he had earlier was a mistake as it felt like a rock in his gut.

Months, Bucky grumbled to himself, five literal months of dating. Why is she rushing things? It seemed that like everyone else deemed it okay for Y/N to get married to Jacob. Jacob Greene, Bucky muttered, does she know that he’s been previously married? Or that he lies about trying to quit smoking. Is she really fine with the long work hours that he has?

Bucky closed his eyes and banged his head against the counter, his left hand curling into a hard fist that the electronics in his arm begins to whir. He wished he hadn’t tossed the invitation out of reach. The thought of tearing the paper into confetti and returning it to sender gave him immense satisfaction.

Bucky was too lost in his thought to hear his roommate Steve open the apartment door. It was only when Steve placed a hand on his shoulder did his body stutter in shock.

“Jesus, Buck,” Steve said as he moved away from his friend to the other side of the counter, “what’s got you so-,” Steve had cut himself off when he saw a familiar crumpled up ball at the foot of the fridge. A sly smile appeared. Bucky threw Steve a dirty look and abruptly stood up from his place at the island before he tossed himself onto the sofa with crossed arms over his eyes.

“Your aim still sucks,” Steve chided.

“You still suck,” Bucky responded childishly and Steve couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh when he saw his friend roll over and hug the pillow tighter to chis chest.

“Oh, for fu..” Steve sighed as he scooped the paper off the floor. He smoothed it on the counter top and scanned over the card curiously. Steve carried the paper with him to his reclining chair by the sofa.

“Oh! Peggy’s been talking about this forever now. I think it’s gonna be a small ceremony, just a few friends and family or something.” There was a long pause, “not much notice though,” Steve continued, “but you know, good for Y/N. Jacob is a good guy.”

Bucky scoffed and rolled over furiously before he sat up. “Jacob is an idiot. Jacob couldn’t even understand the Sokovian Accords even after the press covered it last year! Jacob never goes to Y/N’s work, something about being nervous around Avengers. How is he going to stand being married to someone who works with them!”

“Maybe Y/N understands that talking about her work and superheroes isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Most people aren’t interested in the death and danger we face,” Steve explained with a smile. “But she is attractive,” that earns Steve a glare, “and Jacob says he doesn’t mind her having a weird job since she’s pretty. And she’ll be a good mom when they start a family; though I think she might stop working in the lab, you know the chemicals and everything aren’t safe for pregnancies.”

Bucky jumped of the couch and stormed toward his bedroom.

“Where ya going, Buck?” If Bucky wasn’t to angry he would have noticed that Steve’s voice was casual and he could hear his lips being curled upward. Steve placed the wrinkled invitation on the coffee table in front of him and followed Bucky.

“As if I don’t know everything there is fucking know about Y/N,” Bucky growled as he rushed around his room, dressing himself hurriedly. “Pretty,” Bucky scoffed, “that’s so fucking useful, but ‘don’t talk about your day at work, baby, or I may faint.’ Fuckin’ asshat. Doesn’t even know she hates coneflowers.” He stomped his feet into his shoes, ignoring how loose they felt without the laces being securely tied.

“Something wrong?” Steve asked as he leaned against Bucky’s doorframe.

“Nope. Just gonna run some errands. Shop for food, inform Stark about the upgrade, talk that woman out of marrying a fool who will take her from- the Avengers.”

“You gonna be out long?”

“Don’t wait up,” Bucky paused at his coat rack, “it’s Monday, she’ll be at Josie's.” He confirmed to himself before grabbing his coat and stepping past Steve.

“From the Avengers. Is that all?” Steve questioned as he followed his friend through the apartment, “oh by the way, she’s not at Josie’s”

“What?” Bucky stopped in his tracks and turned to face his friend, missing the smirk that left his face.

“It’s girls night. Like I said, not much notice for this wedding ordeal. I just dropped Peggy off at Olive or Twist. If you hurry you might-,”

Bucky was already out the door before Steve could finish his sentence.

“Right,” Steve murmured and jogged over to the window and watched Bucky with great amusement as he jumped into a cab. Steve pulled out his cellphone and quickly typed out a warning to his girlfriend, who was at the moment sitting on a stool besides a tipsy Y/N.

Bucky didn’t make small talk with the cab driver, instead he thought about when he first met Y/N almost a year ago. He quickly found out that the lab at the Stark tower was like her second home. She was able to be with the minds like Bruce Banner, Helen Cho and Tony Stark himself who allowed her to get lost in her thoughts.

Her lab was an extension of the Medbay and she was able to navigate the narrow hallways and sharp corners with ease. It was her lab, which was also his lab and his Medbay; seeing how he had the metal arm that needed fixing.

And sure, other people technically had access, but as far as he saw it, they were intruders. No one else belonged there.

Things can’t just change, Bucky thought to himself as he watched the lights of the city blur through the cab window.

Put everything on the line to help you. When everyone hated you, she saw something worth loving.

Bucky had the urge to scream but resorted to curling his hands into tight fists in his lap.

Some rock tune was playing through the bar’s speakers when Bucky arrived at Oliver or Twist. He scanned the crowd and almost immediately he found Y/N and Peggy sitting at the far end of the bar top, conversing over elaborate cocktail glasses that seemed to hold an abnormal amount of alcohol. For a hot second, Bucky could have sworn that Peggy’s eyes glanced at him but she continued chatting with Y/N without acknowledging him.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. Something was off. He looked around before looking back at the ladies but couldn’t pinpoint that strange feeling. He strutted through the crowd, pushing people aside, earning dark looks but he didn’t stop until her was behind Y/N.

He leaned in close, “I need to talk to you,” he practically whispered into her ear.

“Bucky!” Y/N turned around and beamed at him. Her eyes were shining in the light and her cheeks had a noticeable colour to them, telling him she was in this overly crowded bar for quite some time.

“What are you doing here?” She turned back to face her friend, “Pegs, look who it is!”

“Hello Bucky,” Peggy said ever so politely, finishing off with a sweet smile that held some kind of mischief behind them, “Surprised to see you here. Metal arm emergency, I suppose. Can’t it wait? We have quite the evening planned.”

Bucky ignored her and began the speech he had mapped out on the driver over. “You can’t marry Jacob.”

Y/N shot a confused look at Peggy, who just shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “Buck, I-,”

In hindsight, he should have let her finish her sentence, but he had too many emotions and thoughts that needed to be heard, so once he opened his mouth; the rush of words poured out and he couldn’t stop. “Look, I get it. He’s an attractive dude who lies about his smoking habits and his long working hours will leave little time for family and the development of your own personal goals. Also, your potential spouse should not feel intimated by your career and with the people you work with. And with the lack of intelligence on his part, he wouldn’t be able to help you further your career or help you emotionally. He’s boring and probably wouldn’t even notice that New York is being attacked even if he sees an alien with his own eyes.”

Y/N’s mouth dropped open and her eyes were wide in shock. Peggy had to hide her smile behind her glass, keeping the straw in her mouth.

“You have to stay with the Avengers. They need you because you’re the best of the best. Better than Banner and way better than Stark. They need you but most importantly, I need you. Not only because you’re the only one who can fix my arm, but you’re the only one who has really stood by my side through everything. All the highs and all the lows have one thing in common and that’s you. You were always there for me and I want to be always there for you. Forever.”

There was an overgrown silence between the three people at the bar. Bucky looked from Y/N to Peggy, who just shrugged her shoulders. He looked at Y/N who still wore the same shocked expression.

“Say something, please,” Bucky begged.

“Haven’t given her much of a chance, have you,” Peggy remarked, sipping her drink. She sucked on the orange slice that used to hang on the rim of her glass.

“Trying to convince a woman to dump her fiancé, is something I didn’t expect from you,” she smirked, “coming all the way down here to stop Y/N from getting married, one might think you’re jealous.”

“Wait, this is..,” Y/N laughed before coughing into her hands, “why do you care who I date or marry for that matter?”

Bucky ran his left hand through his hair before gently running the cool metal over his face.

“You can’t marry him because I know you love me and even though it took me some time, I love you.” There was a flash image of the future of just him and her, in their shared apartment living a shared life. “You saved me. You belong with him. Not someone who doesn’t value you or thinks you’re only pretty.”

“You-you think I’m pretty?” Y/N whispered. A dopey smile formed on Bucky’s face when he saw her face.

“Yes. I think you’re beyond beautiful. I’ve always thought that.” Bucky watched as her fingers began to play with the hem of her dress. Great, she’s nervous, Bucky thought. Y/N lifted her drink to her mouth before taking a rather large sip, making Bucky wince. Once she finished her sip, she put the glass down on the bar behind her.

“I know you don’t want to marry him.”

Y/N tilted her head as she faced Bucky, a smile creeping onto her face. Peggy shook her head.

“Care to explain?”

“You-you’re not wearing your ring,” Bucky stated before taking hold of Y/N’s hands, cradling her fingers in his grasp. He smoothed his thumbs over her knuckles.

“No ring,” he said as he lifted her left hand up, “engaged women always wear their rings. It’s like they want to show off the expensive piece of jewellery, but you, you haven’t been wearing it.”

Bucky ignored Peggy’s presence and he stepped closer to Y/N, letting go of her hands and instead cupped her cheeks, tipping her face up to him.

“Did you mean it? About me, belonging with you?” Y/N’s voice was soft and quite and filled with hope.

Part of Bucky wanted to build his walls up again and secure himself, but this was Y/N in front of him. He couldn’t bring himself to push her out anymore.

“Yes,” he said confidently, “I need you. You belong with me and I belong with you. Always.” In the dim light of the crowded bar, Bucky Barnes kissed Y/N senseless until he could feel not only Peggy but the bartender stare pointedly.

When he finally pulled his lips away from hers, a smug grin appeared on her face. “Bucky, I’m not engaged.”

“Not anymore I hope,” he said as he slid his hand around her neck and kissed the side of her face.

“No,” she laughed, pushing him away from her slightly, “I never was.” Bucky looked at her confused.

“I don’t know why you thought that. Pegs and I just came out for drinks for our regular girls night. We said we would meet Nat and Wanda here but I guess they bailed. Jacob and I broke up last week.”  Y/N looked at Peggy with a giant smile who just winked at Bucky.

“Wait, what?”

“Jacob got a job offer in DC and honestly,” Y/N shrugged, “I didn’t want to leave New York. My job is here, so are my friends and my life. I didn’t really see what the point was in me moving with him if I didn’t see the relationship going anywhere. Jacob’s a nice guy, but boring and a bit strange that he doesn’t find the Avengers interesting.”

Not engaged…But then..

Bucky’s mind went back to the wedding invitation he had looked at a little more than an hour ago. The details still so fresh in his mind.

Oh, that son of a…

“Hey!” Peggy yelled suddenly. She stood up and waved towards the door. A tuff of blonde hair could bee seen making its way through the cluster of people.

“Sorry I’m late. Apparently it’s hard to get a taxi in New York City, who knew?” Steve hugged his girlfriend and kissed her briefly.

“So, did I miss anything?” He smiled broadly at Bucky and Y/N’s joined hands.

“Didn’t realise your new hobby was playing with wedding stationery.” Bucky held onto her hand a little tighter.

“Well, you’ve been kind of an idiot when it comes to recognising your feelings for Y/N, and Peggy has quite a lot of sample invites left over,” Steve grinned.

“Seemed like a shame to let them all go to waste.”

“Left over?” Bucky questioned.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you,” Peggy exclaimed, straightening up in her stool, “We’re in engaged!” She extended her left hand. Y/N immediately grabbed it and pulled it closer to her.

“Is this the reason for girls night?”

“One of them,” Peggy smirked, melting into Steve’s side as he slung an arm around her shoulders.

“I should’ve known. Coneflowers on the invitations…disgusting,” Bucky teased.

Y/N cringed, “Ugh, I hate coneflowers.”

Bucky looked down at Y/N with a smile on his face, “I know,” he said a little too proudly.

tags: @bucky-plums-barnes (marriage monday?) @httpmcrvel @ashley-the-mermaid-unicorn @coal000 @sebashtiansatan @softhairbarnes

[officially-tonynat-shrine]

Your Idiot (Sam Wilson x Reader)

A/N: Hello, beautiful people and welcome to another episode of Pavi tries too hard. Guys, I've never been so proud of something but here we are, my second one shot and I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. Fkshja, if you are still reading this then tHaNK yOu for staying. This is for @writingcroissant Tori's challenge, which was due like 20 days ago!!!!!!

Pairing: Sam Wilson x reader

Words: 963 // Warnings: one swear, that's it. I swear.

Prompt: Don't get up! I'll do it. (Prompt will be in bold)

Summary: Sam is an adamant twat and he always wins.

•••••

The gentle sunlight streamed into the room through the open window just as Sam entered. He halted at the door, taking in the view in front of him. The bedroom looked quite ordinary. Nothing out of the blue. His eyes wandered around the room and decided to stop, as always, on you. Sleeping on the king sized bed just below the window, you looked at peace. Beautiful when at peace, is what everyone told you. Never had once Sam agreed. For him, you were always a goddess. Heavenly, he would argue.

A small smile graced his features as he leaned on the door, hands crossed. He did not move. Not even when you stirred in your sleep and unknowingly faced him.

Natasha said he was whipped. But Sam, being the romantic he was, would always correct her. He was in love.

His eyes sparkled as he traced your movements. The small smile turned into a smirk. He walked in and sat beside you, the bed dipping in. He closed his eyes and taking your hand in his, he kissed it softly. He opened his eyes and softly tucked some stray strands of hair behind your ear.

"Are you going to speak or are you going to stay like that?"

He squeaked as you raspily spoke.

"Woman, you're going to be the death of me." He mocks a gasp and places a hand over his heart. The other hand, you notice. One is still holding yours. You giggle sheepishly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Quite good, now. I'll be up and about in a few hours." You smirk at the thought of finally being able to run around the Tower wrecking havoc again. Bed-rest sucked.

Sam frowned a bit.

"Are you sure, darlin'?" He whispered sweetly.

You broke eye contact with him trying to focus. God, two years together and you still stuttered around him.

"Sweetheart?" His voice broke your reverie.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure. Why are you asking?"

"Your wounds, they're not yet fully healed are they?"

How can he even scrunch his eyebrows so much?! Moreover, how the fuck does he look so goddamn cute?!

You shook your head, trying to concentrate.

"They aren't, but they'll be soon. Don't worry, Sam."

"Baby, you of all people should know that I'm more of a mother-hen than Mr. Righteous Steven."

You snorted at his jab on Steve. Yawning a bit, you get up and stretch.

"It's okay, honey. I'll be fine." You smile at him and remove the blanket covering you.

Honey. He was your honey. You had always called him honey. And it always muddled his brain. He'd probably stop eating hot dogs if it meant that you'll call him honey while smiling that breathtaking smile.

"No. No, no, no, no. No. You're still not recovered properly. You ain't getting up from here." He placed a hand on your shoulder and another on your waist and pushed you gently back into the bed.

"But Sam," you whined, stretching the 'a', "Helen told me I'm okay to move."

"Absolutely not. I want my queen to be hundred percent healed."

"Sam," you hissed trying to hide your giddy smile. How the fuck were you supposed to argue with such a smooth talker?

"Alright, let's negotiate."

You stared at him. You knew the look on his face. He was certainly up to something.

"Sam, whatever tricks you have up your sleeves you better leave them there." You warned him.

He smirked. That little shit actually smirked.

"Don't tell me you are afraid to negotiate, princess."

"You damn well know that I don't back down from a challenge, Wilson." You growled.

He stared at you with that stupid shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

Sam knew that you'd do anything to wipe that grin off his face. Any minute now.

"Fine," you pouted. Crossing your arms you leaned further into your pillow. "What do you propose?"

"Well, I have two things in my mind but let's just go with the first one. It's easier."

You beckoned him to continue.

"Do twenty push ups."

"What?!"

"You heard me, honey."

"But babe, I am still recovering! I'll pull a muscle!"

He knew that your back and legs were badly hurt during the mission. If he made you do push ups it'll- Oh, that little twat.

Sam was outright grinning. You knew what was coming.

"Ah, see. You said it yourself. You are still recovering. So no getting up."

You grumbled. Poking your tongue out you looked away.

"Ah, come on, baby. You know I hate it when you're angry at me." Sam coaxed.

When he got no reply he climbed on the bed and moved closer to you.

Snaking his arms around your waist, he pulled you closer to him. He rested his head in the crook of your neck.

"Babygirl?" He whispered. "Come on, love. I just want to see you hurt again. Lord knows I almost had a heart attack during the mission."

You sighed as he peppered kisses on your neck. He snuggled closer (if that was possible at all) and kissed your cheek.

"Sunshine?"

You swore that at that moment you'd found your bliss. This was it. He had you surrendered to his charms just as much as you had him wrapped around your fingers.

"Okay, but!-" you stopped him from rejoicing, "only for today. Tomorrow, I am going to run around the Tower."

"As you wish, princess. If you want help in something, just call for me. Don't get up. I'll do it."

He gave you one last kiss before getting out of the bed.

"I'll be back with pancakes." He sang and strutted out of your room. You shook your head at his antics. You were so in love with your idiot.

••••

Edit: I'm tagging @irndad bc she had posted something abt wanting to write a Sam fic and my dumb ass thought that it was a Sam Wilson fic (it was actually abt a Sam Winchester fic, girl pls write it) but I'm a hoe so imma tag her. God I'm sweating rn. Thanks for reading the whole thing @irndad idk how you read it. I'm really nervous, god.

[howlingbarnes]

Falling Up - Part Ten

Characters - Bucky Barnes x Reader, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers, OFCs Tesla Banner and Kayla Meadows

Word Count - 2584

Warnings - TW; Depression, Language, Angst, Fluff, Cliffhanger

AU - Prof!Bucky

Song - Falling Up by Mike Dupree ft. Maddi Jane

A/N - We meet Bucky’s big ex. Steve explains himself…again. Can we reconcile with Bucky?

Falling Up Masterlist

“So much for ‘I’m yours, you’re mine. No matter what’ huh, Bucky?” That was the last thing you said, the last words lingering in the air before you gathered your things, slammed the door behind you and got into your car. You surprisingly managed to keep your composure until you pulled your car out of the parking lot.

Your face was in excruciating pain as you flew down the highway toward your home. The injury from the day before, the pressure from your stuffy sinuses and the tears covering your face, mixed with a throbbing migraine now making you blink with each pulse. With the mixture of pain and heartbreak threatening to shut you down, you sighed a heavy breath of relief as you pulled into your garage. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to find a text message, a missed call, and a voicemail.

The text was from Tesla, the missed call and voicemail were from Bucky. Your stomach did a flip at the thought that he had called you. Collecting your things, you pressed the phone to your ear.

‘Listen, I still meant what I said last night but I need time to really think about this. I’m not judging you. I’m not mad at you, I can’t be upset about something that happened before we met and I’m sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me. I need to process this, and I need you to give me some time.’

Fresh tears lined your eyes. Bucky sounded wounded and betrayed. The fact that you only got to live that happiness with Bucky for such a short window of time hurt your heart. You wanted to wake up with him by your side, a smile playing on his lips, his face glowing with love and his sparkling eyes staring back into yours as if neither of you had to leave the bed. You still weren’t sure what Steve had even said to him but you were damn sure going to find out. On your way up to your bedroom, your phone began to vibrate in your hand.

“Hello?” You answered immediately, not bothering to check who it was.

“Y/N?” A female voice hit your ear. You sighed and continued to your room to pick out your clothes for the day.

“Yes, Maria.” You replied, distracted as you prepared for a shower.

“Are you coming in today? It’s nearly noon.” She cleared her throat and waited while you started your shower and examined your face in the mirror. A bluish-purple bruise covered your nose and a bit of each cheek. Your eyes were red and swollen from crying, your hair was disheveled from the night.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” You grumbled. “And please, schedule a meeting for me with Mr. Rogers.” His name came out of your mouth dipped in venom. Maria stuttered an agreement and quickly filled you in on what you’d missed since yesterday. After hanging up, you took a quick shower and got dressed. You decided to skip bothering with makeup, knowing there was no real way to cover the massive bruise taking over your face.

“Oh my god!” Maria exclaimed as you walked through the door, worry covered her tone as she quickly scurried around her desk. You flinched as her hands raised though she didn’t actually touch you.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You cleared your throat and took a step back, a fake smile crept across your face.

“I’m just peachy. A minor incident, really.” You lied through your teeth, “When is my meeting with Mr. Rogers?” You wasted no time getting back into professional mode even with Maria staring at your nose as if you were a bird with a broken wing.

“He, uh, he actually cleared his schedule when I put in the request so you can see him anytime.” Maria’s voice began to trail off toward the end of her sentence as you walked away in the direction of the elevator.

You brushed past each person that got in your way as you made your way to Steve’s office. The large wooden door was the only thing in your sight. You knocked with a heavy force, waited a few seconds then invited yourself in.

“Y/N, holy shit. What happened to your face?” Concern laced his tone as he jumped from his chair and made his way over to you. His hand covered nearly the whole side of your face. “Wait this isn’t…Bucky didn’t..” He didn’t have to finish his thoughts for you to know what he meant. Your brows knitted together and you pulled aggressively out of his grip, brushing his thumb directly against the most tender part of your nose.

“Ah, fuck! Shit!” You hissed as tears filled your eyes and an intense stinging radiated through your face. “No, Bucky wouldn’t do this. I got in a fight.”

“A fight? With who?” As much as you didn’t want to relive most of the memories from the previous day, you quickly filled him in on what happened with Natasha. Steve sat on the edge of his desk and watched you as you paced back and forth with your fingers tangled in your hair.

“Clint’s always been bad news. That’s why I asked how you knew him, I was going to warn you to stay away from him.” Steve dragged his palm over his face, sighing heavily. “Y/N, what’s going on with Bucky? He hung up on me earlier and he’s not answering any of my calls.” You froze, a sting filled your nose as tears threatened to pool up in your eyes once again.

“Bucky?” You barely choked out his name in a whisper. Just thinking about him was painful at this point, you already missed him so much that it hurt. You took a deep, shaky breath to calm yourself before continuing, “Bucky is upset with me. Steve, I don’t know what you said this morning, but he doesn’t want to see me right now.” You voice failed you on the last word, raising an octave as you fought back tears. Steve leaned forward, his hands grabbed at your waist as he pulled you between his legs into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into your hair as soft sobs shook your body. “This is all my fault, I asked if he knew what happened between us back in September, and he hung up before I could explain. His mind must’ve brought him to the worse case scenario. Damnit, I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have said anything.”

You sniffled and pulled away from Steve. Genuine sympathy was written all over his face. You wanted to be angry with him but you couldn’t be, it was all a matter of a misunderstanding and there was no one to blame.

“It’s alright.” You looked down and quickly wiped your eyes. “He just needs some time. Steve? You’re wearing your ring again?” The shiny silver metal started back up at you and Steve gave it a twist out of habit.

“Yeah! Peggy and I worked things out. We’ve been building our relationship back up, finding the love again.” He beamed, looking almost like a kid on Christmas. “We’ve even been talking about having a baby lately.” Steve clearly loved his wife and his aura, the way he lit up just talking about her made your heart tighten. He seemed lost in thought, or at least happy memories for a moment before his expression went serious over again. His eyes connected with yours, his hand reached out toward you. Without moving closer, you dropped your hand into his.

“You’re an amazing woman, Y/N. Bucky’s lucky to have you and I have no doubt that he knows that.” His thumb rubbed in circles on the back of your hand as a stray tear trailed down your cheek. “Do me a favor? Take a couple days off, okay? You need to heal, inside and out. Work things out with him, come back when you’re feeling better.”

This was not a request, you knew that as soon as he was done talking. You nodded and thanked Steve before giving him a hug and congratulating him on his reconciliation with Peggy. The two of you wished each other luck and you left his office to let Maria know that she could take the rest of the week off before heading out to your car.

“Tes, I’m fine. You don’t have to come over.” You grumbled into the phone. Normally, you’d tell your sister every detail but not this time. You didn’t tell her anything. Not what happened with Bucky, not about Steve, you’d even lied and told her that you were only taking a few days off until your nose was better.

“Are you sure?” She asked. You sighed, hating how much she sounded like she had to take responsibly and mother you. You wanted her to not have to worry about you and the fact that your life was falling apart week after week. You wanted to be able to tell her that things were good, that you were happy and that her mind could finally be put at ease over her childish older sister.

“I’m sure, tell Bruce and the kids that I said hi.” With that, you said your goodbyes to your sister and pulled your covers back over your head.

Four days had gone by, and you were still a wreck. You hadn’t spoken to Bucky, you wanted to give him space. Figuring he’d call when he was ready, every time your phone buzzed, chimed or rang, your heart would stop only to find out that it was someone else each time. Tesla calling to tell you about her day or Steve checking on you, making sure you were at least alive.

You kept your room dark and rarely ever left your bed. You’d lost track of how many times you’d thought about drinking yourself into a coma but at this point, you couldn’t even remember the last time you’d eaten and the thought of alcohol made you sick. You felt weak, often so dizzy that you were afraid to try walking down the stairs, your migraines brought you to tears and your entire body ached. Your nose was just barely beginning to heal, though the actual bruise had lightened just a bit. Each day, you’d lay in bed and torture yourself with sad music while you cried violently and waited for him to call.

“Hello?” You answered the phone, not recognizing the rough and dry voice that left your mouth.

“H-Hi, is this Y/N?” Another voice you didn’t recognize.

“It is.” You cleared your throat, regaining your voice in the process. “Who’s this?”

“My name is Kayla Meadows.” Your ears instantly turned off. You were floored, why was the author of one of your favorite books calling you? A mixture of confusion and excitement flooded your mind. You sat up in your bed, attempting to focus your attentions back to her. “…talk?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Meadows I didn’t catch all of that.” Your tone suddenly proper and professional.

“Oh, it’s okay!” She chuckled, her warmth radiated through the phone. “I was saying that I’m a friend of Bucky Barnes, and I hope this isn’t too forward, but I’m in town and I would really love to meet up and talk with you if you have time.” You sat up in your bed, utterly shocked, trying desperately to process what she was saying to you.

“Kayla,” You gasped her name when the realization hit you. “Kayla. Holy shit, you’re Bucky’s Kayla.” Your words came out as a rushed, wispy whispered as you jumped out of bed and began to pace around your bedroom.

“Well,” Kayla laughed, it was a genuine and light laugh “I was once upon a time. I see he’s told you about me.”

“Briefly,” You admitted as your heart pounded hard in your chest, “You’ve spoken to Bucky? Is he okay?”

“I…I have…I would prefer to have this conversation in person though, Y/N.” She sounded as if there was something serious dancing on the tip of her tongue. As if she wanted so badly to blurt out what she needed to say but instead kept her composure.

“Okay.” The word came out more like a wounded whimper than anything. You bustled between your bedroom and bathroom frantically, gathering clothes, makeup, and shoes while picking a place and setting a time for three that afternoon to meet up with Kayla.

Once you hung up, you took a shower and got dressed. Despite the large blue mark in the middle of your face, you kept your makeup light and styled your hair for the first time in days.

The bar was small, dark and quiet. You scanned the room, your breath hitched at the back of your throat when your eyes landed on her. Kayla had a short black and pink bob hair that framed her face perfectly and her dark brown eyes were dancing with an unknown emotion. It was really no wonder that Bucky had fallen in love with her; you suddenly felt nervous and uncomfortable in your own skin. You took a deep breath to calm the adrenaline pulsing through your veins as you slowly made your way toward the bar where Kayla sat. She looked over at you just as you’d approached her, an inviting smile pulled at her lips.

“Y/N.” She hopped off of the barstool and extended a hand toward you. “It’s great to meet you.” Shaking her hand, you felt your worry start to melt away for some reason. You sat and spoke with Kayla about yourselves, your careers, even your families, and interests. I’d been a little over an hour before it dawned on you that neither of you brought up Bucky even once. Kayla must’ve been thinking the same thing because the air seemed to shift, the mood had gotten more serious.

“Y/N, when was the last time you’ve eaten something?” Her midnight brown eyes bore into yours as her question took you back.

“I don’t know.” You weren’t sure why, but for the first time in days, you told the truth. She sighed heavily and you felt heat rise to your cheeks, making you lower your head in shame.

“I asked Bucky the same question when I saw him, and he gave me the same answer.” Her hand landed gently on your forearm. “You two need to stop torturing yourselves over something that’s completely irrelevant. You need to stop punishing yourself. Bucky loves you and he misses you. I haven’t seen him this torn up since…” She paused, shaking her head. “It’s been a long time, and I can tell just by looking at you that you feel the same way.”

She was right and it was insane how quickly she was able to read you, it made you wonder how much Bucky had told her about you. You spent the next half hour thanking and saying goodbye to Kayla. Though you’d just met her, you were sad to hear that she would be headed back to California soon because you wanted to hang out with her again.

After leaving the bar, you went straight to Bucky’s apartment. With three sharp knocks, you spent all the confidence you’d built up on the way there. You felt each hair on your arm stand on end when you heard the door unlock. It swung open and Bucky’s expression faltered.

“What’re you doing here?”