Hesina Willshaper AU
Step one canon divergence: Amaram's army doesn't do the kind thing. Kaladin's listed next of kin are sent a letter stiffly informing them that their son is a deserter and, thanks to the highmarshall's mercy, has been sold into slavery.
Step two canon divergence: a light spren has started following Hesina around.
The letter reaches hearthstone.
Hesina cries the bones of the first ideal through labor pangs. Their wretched diamond lamp grows slightly dimmer during childbirth.
Hesina and Lirin discuss if there's anyway they could possibly find their son and pay his slave debt. They're not optimistic.
Hesina talks with her lightspren.
Lirin and Hesina talk again about trying to find their son, now that Oroden is starting to be weaned.
Hesina appears to have grown taller. No one but the two of them seem to be aware but they're worried other future changes might be more noticeable.
Hesina and Lirin realize that she can mold rock as if it was clay with stormlight. A spark of hope for freeing their son emerges.
The two leave town.
They find a slave market in the nearest city. They see other parent's sons, but not their own.
Hesina swears to free those in bondage. Stormlight starts coming easier.
They make a tunnel. Rebellion follows. Lirin is horrified by the violence (the violence is not actually that bad all things considered. a couple guards dead. some bystanders frightened. Fair amount of property damage as they rob the military barracks food supply, steal every sphere that's not nailed down. and also steal the spheres that are nailed down. (Lirin won't admit it but the stealing from lamps part is kindof fun.)).
Many of those they freed flee. Some return to slavery willingly, scared of retribution. Many decide to follow the Radiant woman who has vowed to see others like them freed.
The group proceed to the next town. They find another slave market. They make a tunnel. There is more resistance than last time, clearly they were warned something might happened. Hesina kills a man.
Lirin is terrified by what his wife is becoming.
Hesina swears to shelter those without homes. The lightspren forms an unbreakable hammer, perfect for knocking crem free from buildings. And for knocking down men.
A now larger motley group seeks shelter in a mountain town razed in one of Alethkar's many skirmishes over the last decades. Hesina builds homes. Lirin begs her to stay here, to stop fighting before she goes to far down this path, not to go to war. The slaves they've freed are split, many wanting to stay, hide, some wanting to fight and free more, with a radiant at their head, there's a real chance to change things. Hesina lingers, practicing, spends some time falling in and out of shadesmar.
Lirin and Hesina separate.
Lirin stays with Oroden and the noncombatants. Hesina leads those who want to fight to another city, still trying to find their son, still trying to free everyone's children.
The town settles into a routine. Hesina and Lirin miss one another. This is the first time they've gone longer than two days without seeing each other in the last 25 years, and the two days was only when Lirin had to travel to where someone had overturned a cart on the road nearby and Hesina had to stay and watch the children, too young to travel. besides that, it had been every day. they keep turning to talk to each other.
While the army is gone, the free town is attacked by those trying to reclaim her property.
Hesina swims deliberately through shadesmar for the first time. reaches lirin just in time.
Lirin accepts that not fighting won't stop the violence. (It breaks him just a little bit)
Hesina shouts that one person's freedom ends where another's begins. She vows to fight against powers which would rather see their people in cages then homes. A thousand light spren rise up to grant her strength.
(yes I know she's moving fast through the oaths. but she's always been a thoughtful woman and she raised two children who asked difficult questions and now shes mother to another several hundred. honestly she had already worked through some of these concepts before they became actionable on such a grand scale.)
Lirin vows to support his wife through whatever trials the Almighty seems inclined to put her through.
The lightspren, who has started to get some memories back, remembers Oathgate Spren not terribly far from here by physical realm measurements, guarding a hidden human city
the stone remembers the way the radiants once traveled.
The path to a kingdom in the sky is slow — there are many cages to break on the way.
Kaladin doesn't know it right away, because people weren't exactly telling slaves about the freedom riots, but slave wagons start having harder and harder times reaching the shattered planes after him.
Someone mocks Lirin for having a wife so determined to pursue the masculine art of war. Lirin gets pissy and decides to show them by learning to read and write to help support the administrative side of his wife's kingdom wide asskicking.
The highprinces lead a fairly successful misinformation campaign about the slave riots, lots of accusations of rampant violence, the dregs of society lashing out, you can probably imagine
The ongoing rebellion is large enough that word trickles to the bridge crews, encouraging bridge four's hope for escaping, while also making it substantially more daunting, as the crews are even better guarded than canon.
Rumors of a female radiant swirl around. Most people assume it's a woman in shardplate with some sort of tunneling fabrial, which is still pretty crazy, but several major players Take Note
A very large and tired huddled mass of people reach Urithiru. there's just enough squires, and two new willshapers with their own oaths, to make tunnels through the shattered planes and reach the oathgate without being seen by the alethi armies
the parshendi army is another story, but some are willing to take a chance listening to the neshua kadal, and come with them.
The political implications of Dalinar freeing 1000 slaves is slightly more complex, especially considering the rebellions have been impacting Sadeas the hardest
About a week after being freed, Kaladin hires a spanreed intermediary to write home and find out if his hometown is alright (again, a lot of misinformation and rumors about the violence of the riots)
Is informed by Laral that his family left town looking for him shortly before the riots started, were presumed dead
Kaladin is under the impression that 1) his parents are dead because of him 2) the Rebellion is not the righteous fallback plan that he and the men were hoping it was.
Hesina has many reasons to go to the shattered planes. Nearest part of the trade network for food and necessary goods. Many slaves to be freed from there, and a part of her still hopes to find her son, even thought its been so long. Home of Alethkar's political leaders, the source of Alethkar's slavery.
I have spent. A LOT of time imagining many possible reunions between kaladin and his mom in my highly specific high oath hesenia au. She has a couple faces she could wear when visiting the planes. Brightlady. Radiant. Cagebreaker. Queen of Urithiru (not her real title, they're tentatively trying the Listener council model, but they know what the Alethi will understand). Even darkeyed mother, if she and Lirin approach slowly from a different direction. Honestly, pleased as I am with all of the above, a lot is flexible, the key here is kaladin going "MOM??" In some fashion
One possible Reunion Here
Thank you @sorchasolas for conversation and the urithiru ideas and for leading me to actually write all this down <3
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just gonna say that Colin's exclusion from all things release date announcement (and the lack of pushback about it) is just another instance in a long line of actions that demonstrate that no one gives a fuck about his character. he is constantly sidelined, constantly denied scenes, constantly denied perspective, talked down on, denied characterization and complexity in writing, basically only ever existing as Penelope's prize. The show began this trend, foisted it to the fandom, but the fandom has exacerbated Colin's mistreatment as a character beyond even the show's lack of care toward him
EVERYONE has just. . idk, decided it's better for Colin to exist as Penelope's HEA reward for her shitty family / being ignored or some shit when he's supposed to be HALF THE FUCKING PAIRING. Where is HIS depth? HIS motives? HIS struggles and celebrations? Where are all the meta analysis of his character? The character study stories that don't just make his entire existence Penelope? Where are the stories where his family defends him, where he can demonstrate and forge strong bonds with people who love him? Where are the explorations of his past and motives?
Nowhere.
This fandom has proven time and time again he's secondary to us. Colin isn't a character, Colin is a punching bag. Or a projection of the guy who rejected us. Or an empty minded sexy lamp. Or a flat cardboard cutout for people to dump whatever they want on him. BUT HE'S MEANT TO BE A CHARACTER. A character with desires and experiences and connections that deserve the fucking spotlight for ONCE
when is someone other than Luke Newton (and like 5 of my fellow Colin peeps) going to give Colin the credit he deserves? like who is in his corner? when is he finally going to get to be a character? when will he finally get explored? when will he get the time to shine? no one seems to think it needs a priority
not the showrunners, not Shonda (who once said she didn't even think he was 'clever enough' for Penelope, fuck you very much for that one), not the Bton fandom, certainly not Polin, not anyone
forget the two parter and the date release and the wait or whatever. my favorite fucking character is being sidelined in his own season and no one gives a damn
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
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you know what anon, go fuck yourself. my askbox has anon turned off so if you wanna come at me, do it with your name attached to your pathetic whining
i'm a trans man. do you wanna know how cap'nfart69 treats being a trans man, narratively? he says ingrid is a trans man because of gender stereotypes, and has her complain about being called "dame" exactly once. but he doesn't refer to her as a man even once, he narratively treats her like a woman because he doesn't actually give a shit about a trans man ingrid headcanon. and why? because he loves edelgrid
he loves edelgrid in part because it's a f/f ship that - according to him - is defiant against heteronormative patriarchical oppression. and this is reinforced by the fact that all the men in cap'nfart's fic (especially the ones that aren't a part of the shit-n-piss force) are treated like demons. he likes ingrid, so why would he actually commit to making her a man? when men are inferior to him?
you know how fucking hurtful that is? according to cap'nfart and his idiot little friends, i'm a cis woman because i don't like stereotypical guy things. i like art, fashion, makeup - things he deems girl things, things he says are part of why ingrid is a trans man in canon, supposedly, because she hates them
and let's NOT start on the whole "kronya taking on monica's appearance and name is totally a transgender allegory, tee hee!" is downright transphobic
so tell me, you fucking coward, should i take this lying down? i think the fuck not. maybe shut the fuck up about calling someone rightfully criticising a bigoted shitfic being just as bad as the fucking bigots
Door's open nonnie
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A future fic carcass I'll write when I write (after I finish 9 ungoing fics)
King Viserys dies at the wedding celebration of his daughter, Crown Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.
No one else does.
I am a firm believer Otto and Viserys are the rot on the face of the House of the Dragon and without these two everything would be fine-ish.
Unfortunately, we need Vissy T for his kids to be born, so Viserys dies soon after Aemond is conceived. Sorry, Daeron, not this time.
Joffrey doesn't die because he doesn't manage to provoke Criston before the king dies.
Rhaenyra overrules his father's decision and marries Harwin Strong.
Their son Jacaerys Targaryen is the heir to the throne, Lucerys Targaryen is the heir to Harrenhal.
Daemon marries Laena and lives at Dragonstone (Rhaenyra grants him that), their firstborn is the heir of Driftmark.
Laenor joins the Queensguard and is sent to Dragonstone to protect Prince Daemon (ha) and his future heirs.
Criston Cole becomes the Commander of City Watch while still retaining his white cloak (what? He did it in canon, can do it here).
Rhaenyra removes Tyland Lannister as the master of ships and appoints Corlys Velaryon (back).
When Baela and Rhaena are born, it is decided to betroth Prince Aegon and Lady Baela, making him future lord-consort of Driftmark (and successfully removing him out of succession of the iron throne).
When Jace is born, his and Helaena's betrothal is announced.
Baelon is born without an issue and the royal family meets at the celebration on Dragonstone, where Aemond claims Cannibal and loses an eye in the process.
(Kinslayer, everyone. It fits).
Afterwards Luke is sent as a ward to Harrenhal with his father. A huge ass scene ensures there Luke clings to Aemond and refuses to go.
Aegon makes a greasy comment and gets punched.
Both Aegon and Baela are sent as wards to Driftmark.
Lucerys still leaves.
Harrenhal doesn't burn bc even if Larys kills Harwin and Luke, there's still Lyonel and Joffrey in the equation. Lyonel keeps serving Queen Rhaenyra as her Hand.
Years later the royal family meets at the wedding celebration of Baela and Aegon, where Luke and Aemond behave very much like Rhaenyra and Daemon at Rhaenyra's not happened wedding.
Rhaenyra and Alicent clutch at their pearls, Rhaenyra suggests father died because of seeing something like that.
Daemon asks if she implies they killed Viserys, then asks where is Baelon.
Laena replies Baelon is playing knights with Joffrey.
Rhaenyra and Harwin Strong (no) have three more children, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya, all silver-haired like their mother (her uncle).
Laena is fine with it, they have a poly. Laena doesn't have more children because Baelon's birth was a ghasty one.
Baelon claims the Grey Ghost.
Otto is never called back to the capital because (suprise!) Rhaenyra didn't rush to kill her 3 y.o brother or the other one who was born after Viserys' death. Instead she marries Aegon off so he's no threat.
Aemond eventually joins the Queensguard and is appointed to the future lord of Harenhall.
Lucerys refuses to marry and appoints his brother Viserys as his heir, who marries Visenya. They have a very good life in Harrenhal.
The reason Luke skips over Joffrey is because Joffrey is always at the sea (with Baelon), and Aegon the Younger is bethrothed to Baela and Aegon the Elder' firstborn, Laena.
Everyone lives happily ever after, Otto gets to be the head of the house Hightower after he successfully plots against his own kin, since his blood is secured on the throne, if in unconventional for him way.
He once tried to manipulate Aegon, but was cut off sharply by Rhaenys and Corlys, who kind of adopted the boy as theirs.
Aegon enjoys wandering about Essos very much, he, of course, whores around, but he and Baela have an agreement. One of Baela's children is born from Alyn of Hull, but no one is any wiser, since everyone just thinks the child looks like her.
Jacaerys and Helaena have three kids, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and then Maelor.
Jaehaera is oldest and so is the heir.
Oh, and Rhaena is happily married to Corwyn Cobray. They have a daughter, Rhaenys.
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