#the wind will never change on us
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optimistic-autistic · 8 months ago
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some days i'm fine but then i remember that orpheus did not keep a single one of his promises during the whole show. a liar and a player too huh
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margomadisons · 15 days ago
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uh oh just made the very big mistake of thinking about rook/emmrich while listening to "all I've ever known" from the hadestown london album
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hyolks · 2 years ago
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idiot who doesnt realize how much theyre gonna have to draw cowboy hats: uhmmmm scifi western fma au
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asavt · 9 months ago
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Into the confessionary a little spider walked
Mind not quite there
Quite lost
Memories scrambled around, confused
Pain flaring up, things that shouldn't have been said out
Siblings falling apart
Guilt over forgotten acts
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dxxtruction · 5 months ago
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Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.
He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.
That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).
Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.
50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"
Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.
They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.
This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.
Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.
#iwtv#iwtv character analysis#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#loumand#amc iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv season 2#don't be afraid just start the tape#Gotta feel bad for Louis for winding up falling in love again with someone ruled so much by their own undealt with shit#making him once again the victim of abuse for it#But at least I guess Lestat values his independence? And Louis to an extent.#Theres a lot less co-dependancy going on between them but it's still like ... there#I'm so serious tho when I say I really want IWTV to go in the direction of 'vampires all dealing with their shit and breaking generational#cycles of abuse' because THATS so IT too me. That's the juice tbh.#because a thing with immortality is that you can't partition away from dealing with shit through knowing you or someone is going to die#You have to confront it you're forced to or else its just FOREVER literally going to be there#Louis (or really Claudia) being the first to really confront that (chef kiss)#which is an interesting thing to depict because technically we all carry the burden of eternity w/in us. Our impact on the world lasts and#what violence we allow in the world without fighting or working against it will never change either.#We have to confront the truth and find reconciliation with all of it or it is just without end there is no bottom to it#theres a lot of discussion on it but I think Louis considers himself a survivor. He's lived to this point and will keep living.#He probably cares too much about the why he ends up a victim (the undealt with shit he can't blame them for) to admit otherwise that he is#Too an extent too he cares and loves the people he's been with to really view it that way. But also this survivor perspective is very#'immortality' accepting. Naming a victim sort of is like naming a kind of death that can't go on from there.#Might make these tags into their own post at some point
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waspgrave · 1 month ago
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now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal
#i think i've pinpointed what annoys me about the treviso vs minrathrous thing#it's not that neve or lucanis get mad at you but that you can't like. fix it. or talk about it.#you get 'punished' for picking one and it feels like it should be Worse#lucanis Especially winds up suffering in content bc of it and he's already hurting with content as it is#but apparently according to m kirby he never stops feeling betrayed which is valid#but why can't we fix it? or confront it? Why can't we have a rival situation? or see the effects of spite bc of it.#bc the Hardened thing is literally Nothing on both of them lmao oh no they wont heal me i guess#this man should be pissed at me and apparently he always was? despite us being friends? sort of? by the end?#like it's not even that Lucanis gets Mad at me (wish he'd show it) it's that this is a bioware game and i should be able to confront this#but no. just a choice where ultimately nothing happens but a map change and you don't get a mission/certain cutscenes#and lucanis or neve will go 'i'm doing this and you don't get a say' like ok that's fine and deserved#i just think spite should've potentially taken over lucanis more in a rival situation bc he's so hurt by the worst year of his life#and spite should be gnawing at the bit because this and the rest of the horrors pisses lucanis off#i also think neve should've tried blood magic for funsies esp if she becomes super determined to protect Dock Town but whateverr#i know these tags are slightly off topic but the point is SPITE SHOULDVE BEEN USED MOREEEE i'm so mad#honestly in my deluded hopes that this was going to be truly Bioware i thought Lucanis was going to have an anders situation#and spite would be more in control even if it's still Lucanis. just more volatile and sad.#and maybe it was going to be difficult but the idea that you could've potentially saved him by proving you were going to be there for him#ughhhh it's so annoying and depressing. I do like veilguard i do but this is the moment my love for it waned a bit#like sorry i think Lucanis/Spite should've turned Illario's head into wine if you didn't save Treviso. I think he should be that messed up#but i also thought this was going to be a thing that was going to happen with more companions lol cries for what should have been#prawn posts#veilguard critical
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swordheld · 1 year ago
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how do you think in poems? i really enjoy the tags under your posts i've always wanted to write down my own thoughts that way bc in my head they feel so thorough and magical but whenever i put it in words i feel it just gets so much flatter and i no longer see a point and give up
oh oh oh, but lovely, can't you see that you've already started? it's a perspective that you hone, over time, something that is specific to you and you alone – that's the piece of it that makes it so special! you've already begun, and it only goes forward, up, sideways from here, wherever you wish to go!
think of it like a skill, for a moment, or a kind of muscle, if you'd prefer. you have to work at it, with it, over time and differing experiences, in order to progress.
(a quick important note: not progression as in the kind of quality-check of a grading scale, but progression as in evolution. shifting change. think of the leaves and their colors across the months of autumn, or temperatures rising with the sun and cooling with the evening dark. change isn't intrinsically a qualifying thing, it can just be, sometimes. this is difficult to remember, especially in the midst of frustration, but it is worth it. you are always doing better than you think you are – harshest critic, and all that.)
which is not to say that it's a simple thing to do! compare this to the vibe of me picking up crochet recently, with my shaking hands and too-quickly dwindling adhd focus – my first attempts at making a lil headphone sprout have not been going as well as i once hoped. my stitches are either too big and sloppy bc i'm not holding the yarn tightly enough to get clean ones, or i feel frustrated due to it not looking like how i'd like it to look in my mind when i started it, or even as i begin my umpteenth attempt.
but!! i know that it won't ever look the way i want it do if i set it down and never keep trying. it'll take awhile, like everything does, even the seasons take their time, the moon and its phases; but what i do know, is that, eventually, it'll resemble something i want it to. vaguely, maybe, but it is something. it doesn't have to look exactly like the guide i'm following, or the examples i'm inspired by, because it's mine – something made by my own hands, my own time and experience with every mistake and thrilling joy along the way to learn by.
take it from me: i want to be good at things i want to be good at so badly. and that excitement makes me want to be at the skill level i need to be at in order to do so right then and there, no learning curves or building blocks allowed. which is never how it happens, unfortunately, but –
i think, gently, that we tend to overlook what a pleasure it is to learn. to see the slow progression of things, to begin and change and continue and get better. and even if it's different as we go along, in a way it's our own little kind of magic, maybe, to create and never be done if we don't want to be.
which is all to say: it's already yours. why does it have to be anything else, anything more? why can't it just be good as it is now, where it might never be again? what is there to lose by enjoying the moment of where you are?
like everything, it will grow and shift and evolve with time, maybe into something you'd hoped for, or maybe into something you don't even have the words to describe right now at all. but that's the fun of it: how even now, even then, there, across time and distance and skill, there is a common thread of things; it will always come from your heart, your experience, where you are right then and there and now.
and if you think of that like magic, well, it becomes a little like magic, doesn't it?
also, something to consider: sometimes things you feel or think can't be put into words at that moment, or even at all! something else you could try (that i certainly do) is making something else with whatever it makes you feel - whether that's another form of art, or any other kind of media. if it makes you want to go outside and take a walk or get cozy and read or play a video game? that counts too! that's still an experience, you're still feeling.
i think that counts a little more than anything else, you know?
and as a little ending fun side-note, can i share something cool? i've never thought of it that way before, as thinking in poems. in my mind it's always been a kind of perspective of personal wonder, but you're right – it's poetry, in it's own way. you gave me that – so thank you, from the heart of me. i hope your journey finds you with every bright joy.
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ratatatastic · 4 months ago
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do you know the absolute joy that consumes me to see adam and jesper in our dumb team travel tracksuits on their way to orlando for the sunshine state showdown together? do you know?
florida panthers @ tampa bay lightning | 9.25.24 (x)
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kiisuuumii · 7 months ago
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i hope you can come to believe that you can be happy in this life
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candycryptids · 1 year ago
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The extraordinary talent to fall asleep while your love reads to you and have such strong priorities you don’t drop the book
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imflyingfish · 10 months ago
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#i have no idea how to respond to the whole qsmp situation right now#i mean. i dont watch it or interact with qsmp ITSELF#only the fans around it#I have made fanart for it but not really because i have any particular attachment to specific characters but just because#its a very good springboard for character design and inspiration#Im very involved with the fanbase though as the QSMPnews discord is one of my main discords#and I mainly use the fandom space as a way of practicing/getting into foreign languages#although i dont watch qsmp it still has impacted my life massively in the last year#this clusterfuck of project management is difficult to unravel and know what to do with#and its difficult to know exactly where to turn your attention#or who to blame#since theres so many levels of miscommunication that hasnt been helped by the sharing of it online#i think. even if QSMP doesn't survive#it would be ludicrous to state it as an inherently harmful server#since there has been an evident change in the minecraft gaming space because of it in multiculturalism.#heck IM direct proof of that as someone who does not reguarly engage with the server itself via streams#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain#various concepts to me in my language while i respond in theirs is. insane#so do i think that the qsmp will survive?#um. look i dont see how it can.#I've never thought that it could#but i dont think that im going to demonise fans or avoid content relating to it#considering how integral the fanspaces around it are to me and my personal quest for language proficiency#however I will attempt to keep qsmp posts on my french/spanish blogs#well that was. long-winded#idk this is a very self-centred look into the qsmp and this whole situation#obviously I hope that the staff get paid but. I really have no idea where Quackity Studios might get that money from or how the#server should either end or continue
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darlingknave · 8 months ago
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If we get four more years of trump hell because of some stupid fuckin protest vote
god
not again
Please, his last term very nearly killed me
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is-this-tf · 1 year ago
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so out of curiosity. what ISNT tf
Unserious answer: Cisformation
Serious answer: Actually cisformation is kind of correct- the changing or rearranging of things or components of something or someone while the central core and identity of what it is or what it's for stays the same, is by definition not TF, or transformation.
Autistic answer: I've honestly been internally rationalizing so many little things as being TF in my everyday life that it took me a while to think of an answer for this question. I try to keep the more Out There rationalizations regarding this outside the blog when making judgments over what's TF, and keeping to things that can be more easily understood without reaching, but it's also just Fun for me to play with these ideas on my own time. Someone posting a weight loss or gain journey on instagram is TF, baking a cake from scratch is TF, even changing clothes being TF- there's arguments to be made and all, especially when factoring the psychological or emotional dimension to them, but thinking outside of that for a moment....
What really defines TF is the Change that occurs to someone or something, so even when accounting for the potential broader definitions regarding what kinds of change is or isn't TF, something that has no change to it in the First place would not be TF. So, static characters who stay the same and don't really change over the course of a given period of time, or tools that have a set function and are generally left alone until the next time they're used, and the like, are not TF.
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scrawnytreedemon · 1 year ago
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Part of me, after all this time of kinda feeling 'eh' about the prospect, wants to try dating. Issue is that I basically have no options in my area, and as many lovely people as there are online who I'm compatible with... Once we officially start dating, I just can't keep up?
It's a mixture of not having anything physical to do(not even talking that I mean like going out and shit) and also needing to be more active online when my track record is already very spotty, lol.
Plus, thinking about the future, y'kno? Not even in a marriage and kids kinda way, but like,,, how viable would it be to close the distance? What if I found someone more generally suited to me in my area, even if we don't share that soul-bond?
It ends up being easier to stay friends, even if in person I know I'd be all over them. Don't want to strain the lovely thing we already have.
#scrawny rambles#something's gotta change and that might be me#i just. man i don't know.#i'm curious and i think under the right circumstances it could be alot of fun#but alot of the times the other party gets caught up in the idea of romance that they kinda forget whatever issues we might be facing first#usually circumstancially#it's sucks because i don't get to have that head-over-heels dazzled by love throwing all caution to the wind mentality#because i end up having to carry concerns for both of us if you get what i mean???#like it's nice it's fun but i can never be truly carefree#i don't want to be a killjoy i want to explore i want to have a good time i want another person to open up to#but i guess i need that other person to be grounded at least somewhat. maybe then i could float too.#ahhhhuuuaaa...........#there's also the other horrible issue of my feelings usually being sparked *by* the fact it wouldn't be a good idea to get with them#and then bottling it up for months or even a year in the case of my ex-gf (amiable)#feeling horrid and guilty and wishing i didn't feel anything at all#i end up confessing not out of the hope to start something but to get the weight off my chest#if they don't like me back. then terror but also relief.#more often they DO and on one hand it's thrilling it's incredible it's top of the world#...and then the dread kicks in#the fear that my feelings will fade that i'm not feeling enough#and i think part of that is that i *do* need some form of physical contact in order to keep the *passion* alive#otherwise... it just ends up falling into friend territory again#maybe my sample-size is too small and i'm generalising#i don't know#it seems guilt and terror are massive motivators and get sublimated into intense longing#and then once that again... it inverts. which is so stupid like come on. come the fuck on.#anyhow there's your session of scrawny pouring her heart out. confess your love in the replies to me ig. lmaoo
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empathbled · 1 year ago
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tag drop.
↳ ooc ⸻ ❛ i can make myself look٬ but the thinking is shutting down. ❜ ↳ promo ⸻ ❛ everyone has thought about killing someone٬ one way or another. ❜ ↳ memes ⸻ ❛ you won't like me when i'm psychoanalyzed. ❜ ↳ starter call ⸻ ❛ wind him up and watch him go. ❜ ↳ crack ⸻ ❛ i feel crazy. ❜ ↳ queue ⸻ ❛ do you feel alive? ❜
↳ about ⸻ ❛ i felt terrified٬ and then i felt powerful. ❜ ↳ meta ⸻ ❛ i feel like i am spilling. ❜
↳ images ⸻ ❛ i'm not even sure if i'm awake now. ❜ ↳ music ⸻ ❛ i could use a good scream٬ i can feel one perched under my chin. ❜ ↳ desires ⸻ ❛ but it wasn't real٬ it wasn't real. ❜
↳ answers ⸻ ❛ it's not any easier. shake it off٬ keep on looking. ❜ ↳ speech ⸻ ❛ i know what kind of crazy i am٬ but this isn't that kind of crazy. ❜
↳ hannibal ⸻ ❛ do you believe you could change me the way i've changed you? ٬ i already did. ❜ ↳ abigail ⸻ ❛ never again. only in my memories sleepless in the dark shall i still tread the old paths. ❜ ↳ medicbled (gloria) ⸻ ❛ put me back together. fix my broken mind. ❜ ↳ survivorofhellskitchen (karen) ⸻ ❛ let me see you stripped down to your bone. ❜
↳ verse ⸻ ❛ special agent٬ this is my design. ❜ ↳ verse ⸻ ❛ after the fall٬ this is my legacy. ❜
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cowlovely · 2 years ago
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i feel like i’m gonna throw up over orpheus and eurydice right now
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