#the whole ffxiv ost just.. means so much to me :<<< /div>
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 💀
#🌙.rambles#i got like 5 hours of sleep though i'll survive#i was gna wake up in a few minutes anyways so i'll just stay up!!!!#i think apollo's gna have complete hours of sleep though ehe#oh man rn i just thought of the ffxiv. eorza symphony 2022 concert or wtvr it was called#the field of elpis flowers 🥹#oh my god if ever infinally went to one of those orchestras or wtvr i'd seriously be crying sm#i hate hate crying in public but i wldn't be able to help myself anymore#a sea of stars..#but not rlly stars it's the glow of the flowers illuminating the. yeah#reading a thread again i like every single tweet from it last night but i didn't read everything properl#looking at the setlist i'm srs very sure i wld cry so much wtf#the whole ffxiv ost just.. means so much to me :<<#everywhere i have sm memories w different ppl in different points of my life n. same but rather different me throughout it all#everything abt ffxiv is just so dear to me#was it distant worlds..? i can't remember well if it that was also this year but#my aunt went to distant worlds before. so.. someday one day maybe i cld join too. i'd cry a lot too wtfq#ignore the q i'm on phone rn n i can't be bothered to retype that just to remove that accident 💀#but yeah! ff in general n then music. i still remember moments two years back when 'not alone' wld comfort me when i was crying or#not just ff but vg in general w like cyrus the scholar n yonah n weight of the world n hfksdkfhshf so much it's just so dear to me#i ended up rambling a lot but i think yesterday w all that happened rlly just. softened me n reminded me of my love for lifw#especially with.. the night before that oh man i'm never tdoing that to myself ever again#i'll go 'wake up' in a bit now! waking up early even though i'm lacking on sleep is really nice#i'm rather energetic rn this is so funny watch soon i'll be reclusive n anxious again but i'll make the most of this for now >:3#i'm gna. fix my life. yeah c:
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agent-cupcake · 4 years ago
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Cupcake!! Do you listen to music while writing? If yes what kind?
Yes! I absolutely do! I really love music, I’d say it’s secondary to literature as far as my choice of creative input so this is also just my personal recommendations regarding music as a whole with explanations and unwanted commentary because I’m dumb and this is one of my favorite things to talk about.
Firstly, my ongoing(ish) story Beastie and the Bard is musically driven so here are some songs I have on my playlist for that. I tend towards pieces that are melancholy but melodic. Entrancing, perhaps.
Lolita by Ennio Morricone - Contextually, I realize this is a bizarre (even tone deaf) pick given the source material, but... Whatever. This song, in general, just reminds me of Dimitri. Although a heavy, militaristic march might suit him better, the heart rending sound of this song just works for me when I think of him. The piano sets the tone immediately, lingering on some notes in a wistful, sad way. And it is sad, the cello and flute join in to make that clear. But, at a certain point, the instruments begin to dance around together, opening up and almost seeming like they want to resolve the song and create something happier, or at least something bittersweet, only to be drawn back into the uneasy tragedy of the main motif. I dunno, for me, it just absolutely aches like betrayal. 
Shallan’s Lullaby by treefin / Black Piper - This music box rendition of Shallan’s Lullaby from Stormlight was the melodic inspiration for my bootleg lullaby that reader writes for Dimitri (perhaps not the first part as much as the way it shifts around 1:07). It’s haunting.
Isabella’s Lullaby from The Promised Neverland - Pretty self explanatory, I think. This one hits the sweet spot of beautiful and sad, from the harp to the vocals it just fits. 
Howl’s Moving Castle Merry Go Round of Life original and the cover by the Grissini Project - Both versions are incredibly special pieces of music and I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard this theme before, very good for the more whimsical parts of the story (not that there’s gonna be any more of that).
Shadows of the Lowlands from Xenoblade 2 - While I’m about to recommend this entire soundtrack, this vocal piece is stunning. This guy’s vocals, no joke, sound like a Tolkien Elf. We Are the Chosen Ones is done by the same vocal group and soloist so it’s also making this list although the tone is def a bit different. 
Okay now I’m just gonna point out my favorite soundtracks. For all of these, I have COMPLETELY LEGALLY downloaded most of these from other sites, I’m linking youtube just based on superficial searches to hopefully give you a taste and maybe encourage you to NOT BREAK THE LAW and acquire these soundtracks on your own
Fire Emblem Three Houses - This is obvious and I’m sure you���ve all heard it, but go have a listen if you haven’t. but first, is anyone else disappointed about the Three Houses official release soundtrack? Considering the delay I guess I kinda expected more. Granted, the soundtrack IS phenomenal. Not so much in its entirety, which is emblematic of the game as a whole in some ways, but the set pieces? Unforgettable. This soundtrack is a case study in how powerful a small pool of musical motifs and set-up/pay-offs can be. The little promise of God Shattering Star at the very beginning of the game, Those Who Sow Darkness giving a taste of Shambhala, and then the use of the main melodies of Season of Warfare (Main Theme) and Song of the Nabateans. For the most part, both melodies are used in dramatic songs, creating this unbreakable musical connection between Edelgard and Byleth. Or, if you think about it, Edelgard and the Rhea. For example: the thunder version of Funeral of Flowers doesn’t have the game’s theme, but the rain version does (those two songs were WRITTEN to be layered I stg). And then there’s that somewhat bastardized version of the main theme in At What Cost, highlighting the intended twisting of the usual heroic take on that melody. I do have a potentially unpopular opinion, however. The Apex of the World is boring and tonally dissonant with the final battle in Azure Moon. A lot of people really like Edelgard-Dimitri likes Edelgard! There’s very little heroism in that mission, at least to me, and a song like At What Cost would have fit SO MUCH BETTER. I mean, that is also Edelgard’s theme so hearing that being twisted up into this decidedly more dark song would be thematically appropriate to her ultimate choice. The title also just seems like it suits her and Dimitri. Edelgard claims that she has weighed the cost of war, she believes she is capable of taking on the cost of victory without really knowing what it would be. Dimitri's whole story was him trying to find revenge no mater what the cost and now that he has it, he’s fully understanding what it will cost him. I understand why they would use the traditional hero song to cap the route, but it seems weird that they’d be willing to subvert so many other aspects of tradition while holding to that for a song that, in my opinion, is the least interesting of all the final battle songs. As you can probably tell, At What Cost is a song that is very tonally inspiring to me. I also love Funeral of Flowers (Thunder and Rain separately and layered together), The Long Road, and Roar of Dominion for getting hyped to write.
Final Fantasy VII Remake - Ever since I got this soundtrack, I’ve been addicted. I really don’t have much to say on this one other than just to recommend you give it a listen if you’re even passingly interested in orchestral video game music. There’s some misses for me (specifically the Wall Market stuff and anything that gets into the weird electric guitar/techno stuff) but it’s overwhelmingly fantastic and can work for active listening music and for background music while you write. I’d follow up recommend you get ahold of the Acoustic Arrangements soundtrack. I can’t link you on this one but it’s worth the extra legwork to procure it COMPLETELY LEGALLY. 
Final Fantasy Distant Worlds - I was actually able to see the Distant World’s tour when it swept through Houston and at that point I had no idea what the fuck a Final Fantasy was. At all. However, seeing One Winged Angel live is not something I will ever forget. Ever. This soundtrack is great for some background listening and although it is often too upbeat for my usual tastes, it’s good when I need something easier. Okay. Real talk. I was about to recommend to you a bunch of FFXIV music (the MMO), choice selections from FFXV, and try and dig up some songs that are only available in live recordings. If you like Final Fantasy music, I recommend all of these things. The games are a clusterfuck but the music is even moreso and it’s worth your time if you like this kind of thing.
Xenoblade 2 - See? Told you I was gonna recommend this. Actually, ranking wise, I would say that I like it more than Final Fantasy. This soundtrack is magical. I cannot stress that enough, there is a level of whimsy and beauty that went into this soundtrack that all at once draws upon the genre and being it’s own thing. Like, I get it, there’s a lot of misses. The electric guitar is jarring and annoying. Listen to Sea of Clouds, like, actually listen to it. Listen to Desolation. Pay attention to the motif used in connection with Elysium and then the other songs that its used in. The Power of Jin. This is a sometimes sad but mostly beautiful and whimsical soundtrack that is good for listening and for using as background music. 
Xenoblade 1 - I don’t have as much to say about this one, I don’t feel as if it’s as emotionally resonant as my other recommendations. BUT it is gorgeous. The area themes are wonderful and perfect for setting tone. 
Hollow Knight - Hollow Knight’s soundtrack takes one step back from the drama of the others and revels in its depressive simplicity. There are songs with a more cheerful tone, and the magical whimsy of Xenoblade 2 is very much brought to life in many of the pieces, but for the most part the soundtrack is as gorgeously melancholy as the game itself. One of my favorite things in music is when songs are given new life through new context and the White Palace --> Pale Court transition is haunting. 
Diabolik Lovers - OKAY I KNOW I KNOW hear me out. This soundtrack has no right to be as gorgeous, emotional, or quality as it is. This song, Lovers, is the younger sibling of Lolita’s theme, okay? Thematically, that’s kinda hilarious, but I mean it. If you like that song, give a few of the songs from this OST a chance.
BioShock, BioShock 2, and BioShock Infinite - BioShock 1&2 are different from Infinite. A lot more grungy, a lot more angry and discordant, the strings buzz and there’s a lot more horror to it all. Infinite, on the other hand, is very pretty. Infinite’s soundtrack is about the characters and their journey and feelings. The first two game’s soundtracks are about the ruined city of Rapture. It depends on what you’re in the mood for. I write using Infinite’s music more often, but there’s pieces in the first two that capture this empty, yearning feeling that is good for setting mood.
Pathologic - “Half Life’s soundtrack directed by Genghis Khan.” It’s bizarre. It’s grungy. 
Void (Typrop) - Basically the same deal. I dunno man, I like being inspired by horror.
Outlast - It’s an orchestral horror game soundtrack. Like the game itself, there’s a lot of horror movie inspiration. 
Dishonored 1 and Dishonored 2 - This is mostly background music. It’s a stealth game so it’s kinda uneasy, but I think there’s something really unique. Maybe the instruments? There’s a lot of weird sounds used. 
Higurashi - This is a compilation of horror themed songs from the anime soundtrack, but the VN soundtrack and the non-horror stuff is pretty good, too. Michishirube is my favorite.
Madoka Magica Rebellion - The main anime soundtrack is gorgeous. The bells, the strings, the drama... I’m recommending Rebellion specifically because it’s the more cohesive and story-driven soundtrack. This one is not as horror-ish and weird than the others, it is very beautiful and nice to listen to. Sad, in some parts, too. 
Code Geass and Resurrection - Brass? Got it. Dramatic strings? Got it. Bombastic set piece songs? Triple got it. This soundtrack oozes style. In some ways, that makes it not good for writing, but in others it can. Depends on what you’re writing. I think the melodrama can be incredibly useful for getting my mind in that frenzy state. 
Okay I’m done. Thank you for bearing with me. 
If we’re talking what songs inspire specific things, the Ferdinand piece was accompanied by a lot of the Diabolik Lovers soundtrack and Final Fantasy. When I wrote my sad Felix piece, it was all about Hollow Knight with a spot of Bloodborne and Dark Souls.  
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francel · 8 years ago
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rambling;
i have nothing good to post, so i thought it might be fun to compile some answers to various ffxiv- and rp-related memes and questionnaires i’ve done on my private accounts! please enjoy my screaming.
8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?
i wish i was handsome and suave like all my characters thanks
13. What’s something you’ve never thought about your character?
a certain someone recently decided to remind me that francel's house has no bathroom... and i had honestly never considered, in two whole years of playing him, where he goes to pee?
"do you mean poop" francel is a delicate maiden i will not consider this
(we figure there’s probably an outhouse... somewhere...)
3. What’s something that surprises you about your canon?
Wiltswys: You think me cold? Well, fie on what you think! I wanted something better than tilling salty fields and spilling small fry out the nets, and occasionally taking a passing sailor into my bed for more o' the same!
LISTEN THIS IS THE MOST VULGAR LINE IN THE GAME I SWEAR TO GOD
i have done this quest at least... 4 or 5 times now and it never fails to make me scream. and every time i do it i have to zoom in on her and look at her face because she is a really cute roe girl, so i wonder what her taste in sailors is...
19. Give me an appearance-related headcanon of your choice.
LAUGHS OK hmm what have i never said before...
i have definitely mentioned that i don’t think francel likes his appearance very much — he especially wishes he had lighter-colored eyes like stephanivien and aurvael...
i personally want to think that chlodebaimt looked very different from francel BUT, although i have never datamined the necrose knight (i really should), a friend of mine took screenshots and his eyes at least look like francel's eyes
...but they might very well have just used a generic house haillenarte knight model for that, so who knows what chlodebaimt looked like?
i also like to think that baurendouin (francel's father) persists in the belief that his youngest son will do great things because he at least superficially resembles driancoin de haillenarte (the haillenarte founder you see in the haldrath flashback scene). i mean, i doubt portraits of driancoin survived or anything, given the nondescript statues of thordan's knights, but i’m sure comments about him did?
"he was fair of face and fair of hair" idfk some shit like that
5. What do you hate about your canon?
i am always, ALWAYS so tired of hearing people complain about how “no one ever” treats the wol like they’re “a normal person” ah, yes no one no one ever has treated you nicely never mind the fact that people regularly apologize for turning to you in their hours of need, and for asking you to kill things, and you usually just dismiss their applogy no one!!! has ever!! been nice!! to the wol!! i know the entire arc of my francel writing career has been bitching about similar things but at least i find new ways to do it
ok wait i have to vent more about how people still persist in the NO ONE WAS NICE TO THE WOL BUT HAURCHEFAAANT!!!!! delusion like tataru fucking made you clothes recently IS THAT NOT THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE? YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN REWARDED WITH SOMETHING PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!
24. What’s a song that reminds you of your character?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B7VKiJhU_s “Dear Jack,” by Jack’s Mannequin.
lately, i’ve been listening to this... i don't like every part of this song, but lyrically, it is such a perfect francel song
dear jack, i write you as a friend dear jack, i write for fear the end is coming soon to you it's not so clear it's clear to me it's clear as glass
dear jack, wherever you are, hold tight wherever he is, shine light right there be strong i dare
i had songs for you i had all your music written out the words came when i heard you screaming i had plans for you until the plans fell through now there is no turning back, my dear jack
11. Something you like to look at.
i have complicated feelings about haurchefant these days, but sometimes i go and look at this mug and cry about his handwriting
like from a lore perspective i know he can't be writing in english because they write in eorzean but until then, my friend...
14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get in the specific mindset?
yes! but it depends on the character. for ramza... i either read shakespeare (for real — i have lifted quotes wholesale from hamlet and the tempest) and/or listen to "rather be" by clean bandit? seriously, that is my most strong ramza association... which is weird because the song and the game are like 20 years apart? or i listen to the FFT ost...
for francel i have a whole playlist, but most importantly i either go on twitter and look at wolchefant fanart or read bad wolchefant fanfic on ao3... (don’t judge me; it keeps the bitterness alive)
18. Is there anything you really wish you could do that you feel is outside your current ability? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?
UMMM... hmmmmmmm...
i dont know... i don’t really think any plots are outside of my current ability, but i admire my friends for being so consistent and on the ball with their dignified prose? i can be dignified too, but at some point i'll crash and start writing intensely silly tags
i would like to do more plots where francel is a badass for whatever reason, but that’s just wish fulfillment
17. Which character is the easiest to write? Why do you think that is?
francel is the easiest to write because he has the ugliest emotions
ramza is the hardest because he is always so virtuous
everyone else has varying levels of self control, but with francel i can usually succumb to base impulse reactions. i like his unguarded nature...
6. When writing a character, do you find it easier to work on their external or internal ticks first? oh, internal, definitely. i think my tags suffer from the fact that i often don’t describe what my characters are doing or what is around them? just... just assume on my behalf lmao.... so IF FRANCEL IS CAUGHT UP IN INTERNAL TL;DR there's a 90% chance he's doing that kicked-puppy stare at the floor
5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? XIV, hard mode: no Haurchefant/WoL.
LMAO THAT HARD MODE...
xiv's fandom has rarely "ruined" pairings for me, as in "i liked them before but i hate them now solely because of fandom"... that said, i think i kind of liked the idea of zephirin and aymeric as a rivalry ship, but i hate when fandom takes the "oMG ZEPH RAPED AYMERIC WHEN HE WAS HELD CAPTIVE" route...
i think this perception of zephirin as this horrible awful evil man comes from the fact that the information on the ward happened after the game was released, so... in the span of time between "zephirin killed haurchefant" and "wait actually zephirin is a virtuous man," people formed their opinions, you know?
but it's still really annoying, and to some degree the misconception persists...
i was also okay with guydelot and sanson at first, but i’m a little annoyed by them now, too... it’s not for any particular reason — i just think the fandom is annoying in the "THEY'RE SOOO MARRIED!! EVEN THE OTHER QUEST NPCS SAY THEY'RE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!! THEY’RE SO CANON!!!" way and i’m like Please Shut Up. that said, i guess it’s mostly jealousy because none of my pairings are ever canon, but whatever...
so i guess i'm going with zephirin/aymeric, guydelot/sanson... and oh btw like. urianger/moenbryda to a degree? i remember when the wind-up moenbryda item came out and the english item description was like "you don't want to know what urianger did to this" or something like that, like, i just took it as — like urianger probably dressed it up in a little maid outfit and had it serve him tea or something equally otaku-like?
but the entire fandom was like OMG HE JERKED OFF TO IT OR USED IT AS A SEX DOLL OR SOMETHING and i was like ... okay. like if that's how you're determined to see it, fine, but fandom always takes the worst possible interpretation of something i swear to god
13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?
LAUGHS WELL I GUESS MY USUAL TIRADE: i don't think of haurchefant as the perfect cinnamon roll angel and actually he annoys me a little...
my friend just finished running coerthas quests on her balmung alt and like... even she commented on how brusque and condescending he seems to francel? and she has no reason to be tainted by my perception of him, it's just... it’s just that he is brusque and condescending.
back when i liked haurchefant/francel, i told myself that it was just how he acted in the heat of the moment and i was sure he was gentler later... but now we’ve seen so much of haurchefant that from the way he treats francel it really feels more to me like francel was just a friend of convenience. i don’t know. i’m bitter. maybe i’m just bitter because it’s easier to cope that way.
14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?
um... well, i think everyone in the ffxiv fandom also agrees that the fandom is annoying...
something i sometimes worry about, but which is not exclusive to ffxiv, is like... people who rp wind up with such a different impression of things than people who just play the game? 
i'm not judging either side on this but... i have rp friends, and i observe the rp community on tumblr/balmung, and i also have friends that are just gamers? and you know, like. sometimes rpers get carried away and invent all these narratives, like i know some tumblr rpers had a bunch of "plots" where a murder mystery happened in ishgard and it was all full of like noble OCs and intrigue or something?
but my gamer friends will sometimes be like, “ishgard is so boring.” so they... see it differently? you wind up viewing the game differently based on what you do in it.
there's also the divide between the english version of the game and the rest of the world, which i bitch about a lot but
just as an example, in english the nobles of ishgard are kind of broadly characterized as being unintelligent and shallow and foppish, whereas the other versions of the game really take a much more neutral approach?
or well i can really only speak for the japanese, but in general the german and french versions of the game are loyal to the japanese, however, 2.0 content was often based on the english...
so, for example, 2.0 content was EN->FR, but ever since 3.0 most of the patches have been JP->EN/DE/FR
however, the EN version continues to make changes, whereas DE and FR don't really change many things!
so i worry a lot about the different perceptions people have of the game, and what that means, like, when i write fanfic...
does my interpretation of coerthas align with other peoples' interpretations of coerthas? probably not. that’s something that’s deeply distressing, as a writer and as someone who prefers to have control, but i don’t know...
17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...
STARES INTO THE VOID it's it's too late for any of this
2 years ago i would have told you without hesitation that i wanted haurchefant to be alive and for him and francel to have eloped together, but now i just...
i've learned to play with the cards i've been dealt
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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NO THOUGHTS ONLY SHADOWBRINGERS HFALKDSJFASLKD
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#sorry my head is like . ffxiv. yes. empty. just ffxiv.#i love love love love themes w like. apocalypses? the world ending wtvr yk. HDLFKAJDLFKS.. SHADOWBRINGERS. IS. SO.#okay i cld ramble on n on about each of the expansions n they're all equally special to me but i want to ramble about shb rn#i started ffxiv during shadowbringers so the expansion is. yeah. YEAH 🥹#emet-selch.. he's srs my favorite antag ever. maybe hermes too if he counts idk but they're not necessarily cruel 'villains'#they're so human they're so goddamn human n it touches me so much i love them they own my heart#listening to ffxiv ost just gets me like this thank you soken thank you to the ffxiv team i love you guys so much thank you thank you#eulmore ost w. pain in pleasure & indulgence & masquerade. THE DEVELOPMENT FROM THE START OF THE GAME TO ENDGAME#IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT. n then grr i love songs w yk the waltz yk or rlly just stuff like this so much it's just so pleasing to my ears#it sounds like heaven. n then. the scenarios it brings in my mind! i love fantasy worlds so much they mean so much to me#huh. realizing once more i rlly like a lot of charas that end up destroying the world one way or another. or wanted to or smth#sephiroth. lucilius. n yh emet-selch & hermes as i mentioned.#i cld ramble on so much abt emet-selch oh dear help me i'm still not over the 'angel of truth' thing n then. azemet T_T#azemet srs is like my otp. or uh. idk a lot of ff pairing r my otps#AZEMET. THE ANGST. hdfjasdlkf emet w azem n hyth hehe his friends r so. chaotic canonically. emet probably doesn't look the part w#idk bcs he looks so grumpy n old lol but he's rlly so kind at heart 🥺 i'm sorry i'm head over heels he's so ugly /lh i love him#ffxiv ost just has this. oh my god. it's so good. it fits so much w just every aspect in the whole game n i'm not exaggerating at all#when i say i know them all so well by heart. i could ramble for hours n days on each song in the whole game n what they mean to me#i love. ffxiv so much. the recurring themes n the way they tie stuff up together is just smth i've always loved nn#ffxiv's story was smth i looked for my whole life before finding out abt the game? idk the game rlly just means so much to me#one day. one day i'll create something of my own. smth like what ffxiv means to me but.. smth entirely my own.#goddamn i'm genuinely still very anxious n nervous abt the future. n like this year yh but. i'm even more excited.#i want to do a lot i. i want to reach out to tomorrow. i want to reach my dreams!!!! i'll reach. even further. forge ahead#help it's 1 am wnvr it's later into the night i usually end up rambling like this huh.#don't mine me i rlly just like writing n i talk to myself often 😭 i'm a bit tired for other stuff tonight but.#thinking of. stories or wtvr just refreshing my mind. i love ffxiv so much :<< all these stories mean so much to me..#yk what i'll just do more tmrrw i just want to take this time rn for myself#hdjfaklsdf i love music. n video games. n stories n idk just all of it just HDLFKAJSDLF.. i'm so in love w them all i just appreciate it sm
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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me when me when ffxiv orchestra.. hdfklasdjflskdfjasdflk
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#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#saved this pic from apollo LMFAO#okok that said though ><#my heart oh my god#like yk that twt account w yeah daily final fantasy music that's the one#i really love orchestra#from the heavens!!!!!!!!!!#i need someone to hold me that#that ost is so majestic n YEAH 😭😭#oh no#oh no flow orchestral arrangement#please please my poor heart the way the instruments just rise n#amanda i love your voice so much pls i'll cry#'sinking deeper and deeper in calm embrace'#THE INSTRUMENTS THE VOICE THE. HOPE. HOPE INCARNATE IT'S LITERALLY HOPE IT'S#'deep dark far away' AGHHHH MY HEART ILYSM#endwalker means so much to me :<< ffxiv as a whole really#flow.. this song is#'hush love close your eyes' FUCK the lyrics the song means so much to me :<<#i remember earlier this year when i was so stressed n struggling w wtvr n i wld just. listen to the song n it'd#warm my heart. comfort me. it brings back a lot of memories n really just comforts me a lot. it comforts me so much#i'm. very different now compared to who i was in the first half of 2022. she was.. a bit naive still i think after being so distant from#reality but. hehe. those blossoming months were so. i think. wait. my words r a mess but those were#really free months for me. i didn't overthink nearly as much as i do now#'but now i know i'm not alone. not the only one for whom the flowers weep' god i really love endwalker so much#i remember earlier this year my status in discord often used to be 🌼. can't really remember exactly why nymore#someday i really hope i can go to a final fantasy orchestra. distant worlds..#it's possible. my aunt has went before. several times i think? i'm not really sure but i do know she travelled just to watch n all#i hope. i really hope someday maybe apollo n i could join her. i know i'll definitely cry ehe that'd really make me so happy
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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🥺 footfalls lyrics hit different now bcs Sam Carter.
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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RETURN TO OBLIVION FFXIV HSDJFAJKSLDFDKSJL
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