#the whole fandom for me to discover
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❤️ HARRY STYLES, LOVE ON TOUR 2021-23 ❤️
#hlcreators#hljournal#hldaily#stylesedits#stylesnews#hstylesedit#tracksintheam#1dsource#the final show#harry styles#📷#my heart is so full oooffff#to think when lot first started in 2021 i had just discovered this thing called “fandom”#despite technically being a fan and listening to their music since 2018#and solo stuff since 2020#and lot was where i first discovered following an artist's tour#getting to up at insane times to watch it live on Instagram#it made me feel a part of something#and then it just snowballed from there#from me hopping from instagram to twitter#having my own fanpage#to finally landing here on Tumblr#through so many shows so many memories and 2 freaking albums#going from arenas in the US#to stadiums in the UK#to 15 fucking shows at MSG#to a whole stadium tour#god it has been A JOURNEY#i'm so happy and so thankful to have been there for it and so proud of harry oooffff#can't believe we're at the final show
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lonely-mans lazarus is ruining my life rn . how in the world do you recover from stumbling upon a brilliant story only to find out the very 1st rendition of it was retconned and you missed out on a huge chunk of lore + content + fandom fun so now as a stinky newbie you have to piece everything together yourself
#theres this massive rabbit hole of old lost content#there was a discord server and everything brah ☹☹☹☹#why wasnt i there to see it#deep sigh#you guys do Not know how autism i am abt this whole thing#all the information abt lml i have rn has been discovered via daisys social media#mostly instagram#i have literally every detail down in my notes app#i know everything there is to know abt this comic (for a newcomer)#dont even fucking play w me im crazy#so . uhm . feels a bit awkward but#hi lml fandom 😭#lonely man's lazarus#lonely-man's lazarus#lml#eeeuyhhhhhf#🍋 blah blah#anyway i love rosid more than anything
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that anon was so unnecessary. a year ago you were posting about running and adventure and now you can't even walk to get groceries. why is anyone trying to discredit your problems just because other people also have problems? wtf? illness isn't a competition, that anon was so out of line and hypocritical.
honestly im just too tired to deal with anons nonsense. if a friend actually has an issue with me they need to confront me with their name attached. if anon is not a friend then i literally do not have the energy to care.
also yeah i miss running like i miss air. i did thirty minutes of light (extremely light!) cardio today in the form of dance and even that set me back all afternoon :( but its better than last week where i couldnt even do cardio for longer than three minutes - i could only move in dance ish motions and try not to lose balance and tip over.
chronic illness is hard to talk about. its legitimately scary and most people who are healthy don't want to deal with it. im talking about it on my invisible little blog on the internet just to...have some place to put my own emotions about it. i invite anyone else to do the same. on their own blog.
#i think its weird that kind of like in fandom#where i can often feel like i am doing fandom and fangirl wrong#this whole time i feel like i am doing illness wrong#like im new to it and somehow fucking it up#as if that were possible#talking too much talking too little#i did discover tbat legit talking too little to your doctor is dangerous#lol found that out the hard way oops#its also HUGELY for real different for everybody#my two biggest life changing nervous system resets that actually work for me? not meditation not breath work#lol its mastur*bation and cold showers#god only knows why but those work#the singing and language learning also seems to help a little#but i feel like that is very specific to me and i discovered those by total accident#drawing something i enjoy helps but only by masking the symptoms#if im concentrating on genos face i am able to ignore whatever pain im going through#that concentration exhausts me quickly though
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Sometimes I wish I had more people interested in my creations, but then I get hit by thoughts like “Imagine the outrage you’d be faced with if your Avatar Suiren AU was more popular. This is the fandom that still cannot ‘forgive’ Korra for SOMETHING THAT WAS DONE TO HER, calling her the worst Avatar for losing the connection to her past lives (which came about because she HAD RAAVA LITERALLY RIPPED OUR OF HER) and acting like that is somehow a worse offence than, say, inaction leading to genocide. The hate you’d get for intentionally making Suiren the last Avatar would be IMMEASURABLE” and go “… actually, I’m glad that for the most part it’s just @katkastrofa and I–”
(Though then again… would it even be an AU by yours truly if it didn’t contain at least one cancellable offence? 😁)
#don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong#also Suiren is even less like Aang than Korra is. she wouldn’t stand a chance in this fandom#everyone knows most people in this fandom can’t handle angry brown girls#and Suiren is honestly on a whole different level#so yeah#I’m glad it’s not a well known thing#but her biggest offence would of course be letting go of Raava#and thus also losing the connection to her past lives and ending the Avatar cycle#her next incarnation will not be the Avatar. they’ll be just a normal EK kid#and that is the biggest crime an Avatar could ever commit#deciding to spare future generations of the burden#the Avatar should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one person#and every Avatar we know of was stuck in an endless cycle of fixing their predecessors’ mistakes#nobody deserves that. especially not a child. and the Avatars ARE discovered as children for the most part#even at 16 like Roku Kyoshi and Kuruk is still way too young for having the fate of the world on your shoulders#I’d argue any age is too young#the world can’t depend on one person to solve their problems#the avatar is ultimately human. they make mistakes. they’re biased. they can be corrupted#and not a single generation goes by without at least one world-scale threat. nothing any avatar does is every enough. it’s a thankless job#no era of peace has ever lasted long. that has to be something worked for by the world at large#ending the cycle is the correct move because then the world will not be looking to the Avatar for every issue#and will actually start sorting shit out themselves. that’s my (very correct) view of it. at least#but again. this fandom will not be able to handle that. because they care about a bunch of long dead ghosts more than living characters#I’m sorry but sparing at least one kid of the trauma that comes with being the Avatar makes losing the past lives connection worth it#to me at least. and it’s not like breaking the connection erases them from ever existing like Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. they’re remembered#just can’t be accessed anymore. and that’s okay. they deserve to rest#(forgive me for the Genshin Impact reference it was the only thing I could think of. it was a brief phase I don’t play it anymore)#anyway. idk where this rant/meta just came from. I apparently have A Lot of thoughts about this AU that aren’t limited to Kuviren smut lmao#Avatar Suiren AU#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness
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I think it should be clear by now that i have many, many problems with toh's writing, but i also think that both the strengths and the weaknesses of the show are present more or less evenly through out it. So i am always side eyeing the fandom when fans paint Hunter and the Whittebanes as something that elevated toh and made it special and more mature.
Like, yes, Belos's character is important, but he is important in the way his character contrasts Luz and Eda and others, and as the representation of a certain worldview and type of person. There are some interesting things about the way he is written as an individual too, but the way the fans prop him up and give him so much sympathy and care for his characterization and backstory - even when his actions are not excused - compared to characters of color who are dismissed or get simplified to suit narrow roles (even though they are also interesting in canon) is often pretty evident.
And Caleb's and Evelyn's roles are way overblown by the fandom. They could've been swapped with a different backstory for Belos, yet parts of fandom treat them as the most essential part of the series all the while saying terribly unkind things about fans who are unhappy about Gus's and Willow's treatment. (and i am an enjoyer of background characters myself, but i think it is one thing to say 'oh i love this guy with 0 lines, i am going to vote for him in a poll and invent a backstory for him' and the other thing to pretend the guy is the most special character in canon while treating major characters as if they are nothing).
Like, i obviously don't think there is anything wrong about liking the Whittebanes/Evelyn and writing meta about them or creating fanworks, but it really feels like some of the fans would've preferred to watch a show about these white characters rather than the actual Owl House. Even a white disabled woman like Eda seems too much for this type of fans.
And while Hunter's story is fairly well done, it is not the only important part of the series. Other characters also have interesting things about them, they are often just not given the same chances to shine - sometimes by the show itself, but sometimes fans just refuse to give them a deeper look.
And the show didn't even get more serious or deep just because of the addition of Hunter. Luz's depression and guilt are present from early on, there are some things about Eda and other adults, and education and society, that are relatively deep for what it is - just not in that specific 'wow so dark' way. And as the show adds more plot and lore in season 2 it gets more serious - which is nothing special but a usual development for this type of a kid show. And then the fans majorly overblow how serious and deep it became when it's still very much a fantasy-comedy aimed at tweens.
#toh rewatch numericalbridge#working title for this was 'shut up about the bone pit shut up about the bone pit'#adult(!) fans pretending the grimwalker stuff was so dark and unique for a kid show annoy me#I am not an atla fan (i think i watched it once) and it has many problems too#but as i remember it had a whole episode about the main character discovering the place where his people were slaughtered#that actually focused on his reaction and emotions#but i guess it was not about a sad white guy clones so it was not really scary for these types of fans#long post#fandom racism#toh rant
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Playing 3DS games after having seen the overall fandom response to release and long-term impact and the way it's looked back on and such is... bizarre, honestly? Like, maybe it's just because we got our introduction to gaming in the 3DS era, but it's incredibly strange to know that games we knew and loved and would have considered relatively mainstream just... didn't stick in people's minds.
Like, take the Gen 6 Pokemon games. Those were great games! One of the single things about X/Y/OR/AS that we don't see people talking about but that stuck in our mind was how the developers made an effort to make it so that every single Pokemon in the games prior was spread between just those four games! We remember that just the sheer variety of potential Pokemon available was enough to get us a start into challenge runs simply by virtue of how much variety could be added to a playthrough by the sheer amount of potential on offer!
We remember spending hours just... hunting around the region to figure out where those last Pokemon we needed to fill the 'dex were, wandering around to try and find Hidden Ability pokemon from Horde battles, getting to actually interact with our Pokemon in Pokemon Amie.
Yeah, there were more obscure games out there, and yeah, they impacted us as well - Pocket Card Jockey stands out in this regard, as an extremely fun game that we're pretty sure was played by maybe three people, maximum, but it's not quite the same. These were games that we played ourself! These were games we saw other people playing, that we played with people over the internet, that felt like they were well-known! We were under the impression that these were mainstream interests, not Niche! it feels... singularly bizarre to realize that, for the majority of people out there, this game was a forgettable disappointment.
#we speak#nintendo 3ds#obviously theres the nostalgia factor and such since the 3ds was the first gaming console we ever owned#as well as our ONLY gaming console for like. right up until ~2 years ago we think?#but like. youre telling us that x/y is less popular than sun/moon?#you mean there are real actual people who think that hgss's following mechanic was more notable than xy's entire bottom screen?#you don't like petting pokemon? pat pat?#we went into hacking our spare ds today and getting some games off of hshop#and like. gods. do you know how fucking bizarre it is to go into the games that shaped our...#well. maybe not childhood but certainly a substantial part of our teen life#and discover that all of the games that we remember loving the most are like. seen as Forgotten Entries or Black Sheep?#this doesn't just extend to x/y btw#we see a lot of people dunking on like. gates to infinity? and like yeah gti wasnt the most POLISHED entry out of em#but it was still an incredibly enjoyable game that had massive impact on later entries in the series#gates to infinity's core themes carried forward into super mystery dungeon to the point that psmd can read as a direct continuation of it!#its like. augh! youre telling me that when we say we loved gti we're expressing an opinion only shared by like three people?#what are we? the Random Black Sheep Unloved By The Fandom As A Whole Guy?#...well. we mean. we kind of are that guy judging by our taste in characters but STILL#you cant tell us that the games that made up most of our communication outside of our family for over a year are Forgotten#and just expect us to like. be okay with it#when we said we were going to get more weird we didn't mean learning people think the 3ds games are The Worst In The Series#what do u MEAN u genuinely think that xy is the worst in the series and have proof we are playing it right now and its very fun#how about our proof huh. we are using a mothim for our nuzlocke run and having a great time. if u think its too easy turn off the exp share#we are in your house and home#we are also mad that swsh doesnt let you turn off the exp share from when we played it in a totally legal and not piracy related way
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deep in my feelings today about everyone who has stuck around since my Hades days and everyone who's been along for the ride for even a little while
in a little over a month, it'll have been 4 years since I made the stygius account on ao3, which makes it one of my most long-lived accounts!
now and then I still get the itch to make a wholly new one, shed the snakeskin all over again, but... this one is getting homely...
#stygius textpost#part of the on-going quest to kill my perfectionism#is to resist the urge to make a whole new account for my newer writing#and pretend like I never went through the process of improvement#like i am athena emerging fully-formed from zeus' body#it's another weird double standard i have long had for myself vs others#I've always enjoyed seeing my favorite fan writers get into new stuff#and following them there and discovering new things#but then when it's me I'm like hmm maybe every fandom should be separate#no cooties!!#but that's just stupid and I need to stop getting fake passports to flee my fandoms#ie constantly making new accounts#and also more importantly#today I got a comment on my latest fic from a reader of my hades stuff#and it got me all emotional
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If I'm inactive it's bc Fantasy High has consumed me entirely
#when i discovered it i spent all the money i could scrounge up on 1 month of dropout and binged the whole entire thing in like#a week. averaging 5hrs sleep a night. it was summer and i didnt do ANYTHING else.#it was my fandom just before dsmp and so now that my brain has been rewired im viewing the characters with a fresh#perspective going whoaaaa.#liking a media that is roleplay but is also structured and reaches satisfying narrative conclusions is wild man (/lh)#i cannot recommend it enough to everyone. its silly its heartfelt it still makes me scream at how cool some of the moments are#it balances characters hitting lows and being beaten down with them getting genuine wins and being cool super well#ok done now sorry. love you all ❤️#doodle.txt
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feeling emotional abt like. art and writing and fandom and sharing creations and being affected and moved and changed by them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#listening to a song on my january playlist that's only on here bc i discovered it from the time has come today fic playlist#and now it's like one of my favorite songs ?? and that fic is one of my favorite fics??? that i'll think abt fondly my whole life ???#and whenever i hear this song for the rest of my life i'll think of that fic too?? which will just also make me think fondly of deancas#and this fandom and tumblr and and and !!!!#everything is connected we all inspire and influence and impact each other in so many ways !!!! and it's beautiful<3#vic.txt
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hear me out
#sorry guys i am so abnormal about gandrew rn#i'm not gonna tag the characters or the fandom because this is an absolute nothing post#but OH MY GOD#so like hear me out they discovered andrew living in the caves separately from them right#which is why he doesn't have the same punk rock end-of-the-world aesthetic as everyone else#my best friend said he should be dolomite and i agree#the whole thing is bare-bones atm but there will be more in the future#esp. considering that i had an idea that involved lily bc i can't talk abt this essence without talking about her and ganji being besties#gandrew in general just has such a funny dynamic to me mainly bc of personal hc's abt how ganji shows affection#they have the potential to be both really sweet and just fucking silly n i love it#rambling
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the writing fanfic to "huh? this doesn't seem like how romance is normally written" to "am i somewhere on the aro spectrum" to "oh god the reason i dont identify w the generic aro label is bc i need a microlabel" to "fuck i need to rewrite this whole fic" pipeline
#mimin trying to write#anyway i discovered the microlabel platoniromantic#which means you cant tell the difference between romantic and platonic love#genuinely never understood why and how people differentiated between romance and strong platonic love#wym you dont want to marry your close friends and kiss them and cuddle them and give them everything you have#no its not romance in the normal sense bc i feel the same way for multiple of my friends at once and if they hv other ppl im not jealous#unless it means they have less time for me#like??? marriage is still necessary bc you do not do this with normal friends. but its not romance?????????#anw tbh ive always headcanoned hestio as being on the aroace spectrum but wtv it is its not platoniromaticism#gg to throw that on him anw tho bc i want romance in this story somehow for The Themes#and its not like i know how to write romance any other way. or i wouldnt have gone down this rabbit hole to begin with#sorry bud!#anyway i guess ill be thinking about how to bring ephael into this#me writing tes/hes the whole time and being like scratches head where is ephael#does not seem right to write so much about hestio loving tesilid and vice versa but not exploring their bond w ephael at all#bc what is the difference...........#but ephael is so hard to write...... idk what goes on in his head...........#hestio is more straightforward his brain is not as twisty#sorry for the sudden personal crisis on my fandom blog#hestio's now a vehicle for me to explore myself i guess. sends him flying kisses youre my OC now#the good thing about small fandoms is that you dont have to care about mischaracterisation as much ig#also the bad thing abt small fandoms is that if you mischaracterise a char you actually will never find out. cries
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sometimes i think abt the fact that only a very select few of you know how unwell i truly am
#and by that i mean my boyfriend and my 2 qpps#though cress mainly out of those three even#and i dont mean in just like mental illnesses im diagnosed with part i have some shjt abt me that makes me seem -#- completely off my rocker im sure . though the funniest part is they used to be common place in some communities#like. theres very real reasons why i portray certain characters the ways i do for example. and if i talk abt those reasons-#- i will be shot on sight for having lost my absolute marbles#and i dont mean the ones who i draw to be like headmates of mine that stuffs pretty normal for systems in fandoms or so ive discovered#but like. the actual stuff that seems completely delusional that i wholeheartedly believe and shit.#im so scared to talk abt kin memories on here as if that whole community doesnt still exist lmao#anyway sorry for rambling. demons in my brain#dialogue
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lowkey obsessing over the line “I’m bleeding by myself and I’m okay” from Sell My Soul by Our Lady Peace and having intense Kaeya feels
#fandom#genshin impact#kaeya#tbh the whole song speaks to me on a Kaeya level#but that verse in particular and that specific line#send me borderline feral every time i hear them#can't believe i only discovered this band in my 30s because i married a canadian#truly my angsty teen self was robbed
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Idk how I used to read insanely long, like 50+ chapter fanfics, on my phone and laptop. Hello eyestrain, will you be staying long???
#there’s this absurdly long fic (literally a three parter and each part clocks in at a quarter of a million words or more & like 100 chapters#and i really want to read it but i’m like. how.#i read the first chapter on my phone but it took SO long. i don’t know how people read on these things#i feel like i’m going to have to copy-paste it all; format it into a kindle book and just read it on my kindle lmao#i was trying to discover whether someone’s done half the work for me and made it into a pdf but i can’t find one :/#is there some sort of button on ao3 that lets you copy a whole fic to save it maybe? i mean i feel like they wouldn’t do that#but equally i feel like they would. idk#i just want a .mobi file. i don’t care if it’s organised into chapters or anything. it just needs to be readable on a kindle#i will continue to look into it. i just can’t believe no one’s already made it into a pdf lol.. it’s one of the most popular fics#in that fandom. it has a goodreads page. it might as well be a novel!#personal#edit: oh my fucking GOD there’s a ‘download’ button on ao3. and one of the options is a mobi file. because of course it is#well if you need me i’ll be reading this absurdly long fic for a fandom i’ve been in for literally 15 years
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seething, blooming // jace x reader
your father has always been something of an opportunist, but trying to marry you off to the blacks while he courts the greens? this is taking playing the game to a whole new level.
the rose discovers she is an instrument of war. —victor hugo.
fandom; house of the dragon pairing; jacaerys velaryon x f!tyrell!reader (no use of y/n) warnings; canon au (set after aegon takes the crown but before luke's death bc luke will never die in my eyes), altered timeline (jace and reader are in their 20s), arranged marriage, mention parental death/death in childbed (reader's mother), love at first sight vibes, jace is a flirtatious little shit with his betrothed, tooth rotting fluff, love confessions. word count; 6k+ notes; one day i might write for another man. but that day is not today. jace velaryon u have my heart. i'm not majorly pleased w this fic but it's given me enough trouble and it's as good as it's gonna get! this was longer originally, and was meant to be a bit more political at first hence the blurb/quote choice, but i haaated some of the scenes so ended up scrapping 'em. she's not as long as predicted as a result but still an ok length i think. some of the scenes i scrapped were tragically the smut ones, so have this fairly pg one-shot with the promise of the smut-shot sitting in my drafts coming ur way soon. fair warning that the scrapping of scenes has fudged with the pacing a bit but honestly i can't take this fic sitting in my drafts any longer so here u go!! i have a taglist now, mostly cos eldrith keeps telling me i have to tag her in everything, so lmk if you'd like to be added to it! requests; are open !
the rising sun paints highgarden in shades of pink and gold.
you stand upon your balcony, finger curled loosely over the pale marble as you stare distantly out over the rolling green fields and blooming gardens. the faint bubbling of the river mander in the distance adds to the peaceful morning, the early wash of sunlight coaxing the sleeping world into life. a cool breeze carries the sweet smell of roses and you take a steadying breath, eyes fluttering shut as you tilt your face up to the sun.
it's a morning that starts like many others. you’ve always risen from bed early, the slow blooming of morning stirring you from slumber more often than not. birds chirp and bees buzz and the river flows and you rise with it, like part of you calls to the breaking dawn.
if not for the thick sheaf of parchment discarded on your father’s desk, it could be a morning like any other. but the parchment is there, and this day will be like no other before it.
today, a dragon is expected at highgarden.
a targaryen has not stepped foot in the reach since before you were born. you don’t think even the princess rhaenyra – queen, now, according to some – had come this far on her marriage tour years ago. but your father has taken it upon himself to invite a prince to your home.
you love your father deeply, but in this you think he must be a fool. as lord paramount of the reach he is, in theory, the power of this kingdom. but anyone with a lick of sense knows that it’s the hightowers that the people look to; oldtown is home to the starry sept, the citadel and, perhaps more importantly, the dowager queen’s family line.
the tyrells have only been in power for a few generations, and people’s memories are long. too many know the truth of how house tyrell had been only a steward when the gardener kings had ruled before the conquest. and so too many see tyrell as a house grasping for power that should be beyond their fingers, and your father is apparently determined to prove them all right.
he’s been careful about his neutrality as war threatens to break out between the targaryen kin, brother and sister both claiming their right to the throne and the realm splitting down the middle. your father has not officially allied with either side, walking a careful tightrope to appease both. up until now you had assumed he sided more with the greens, but he’d sent your assumptions crumbling with only a few sheets of parchment.
your father has always been too ambitious for his own good.
gods, how you miss your mother. when she’d been alive, she’d tempered the worst of your father’s foolishness. she’d been a stark before she’d married, steadfast and sensible in the face of your father’s folly. she’d been a woman unlike any other you’ve known; ferocious and a little wild, but with a good heart and a warm smile for any she’d met.
she’d taught you how to be a lady, but so much more than that – she’d taught you to know your own mind. to know when to mind your tongue and when to speak, how to grow your roots so deep you will always stand tall, flourishing and growing like the most determined of flowers. she’d taught you a little of that northern ice, too, reminding you oft that for as much as you were a rose of highgarden you were equally a wolf of the north, and the wolf’s blood has always run thick in your veins.
she’d called you her little winter rose; delicate and steely and a rare bloom, indeed. she had loved you so fiercely you’d flourished with her tender care, just as the patch of winter roses she’d brought from the glass gardens of winterfell had bloomed ‘neath her careful ministrations. a piece of the north she’d brought south with her, a tiny bit of her home that she’d cradled and cared for until the day you’d lost her to the birthing bed.
your little brother is nearing six, now, and many moons have passed since the sudden grief of your mother had overwhelmed you. but, in recent days you have ached with her loss more often, wondering what she would think of your father’s plans, what she would say to soothe your storm of anxiety. with your looming marriage you find yourself missing your mother acutely, the grief a reopened wound in your chest.
because you are a betrothed woman, now, to be married to a stranger, a prince who is sure to be fighting a war against his kin in the moons to come.
the velaryon prince arrives on dragon back as the sun reaches its peak in the sky.
he dismounts his winged steed in an empty stretch of land a distance from the keep itself, and your father greets him there with a host of staff to accompany him back to the entrance courtyard.
your brother leo bounces in place beside you where you stand with the rest of the household in the courtyard, fairly vibrating with energy at the prospect of seeing a real-life dragon. since the news of the prince’s arrival was announced a sennight ago, leo has done little else but babble about dragons and magic and targaryens. you wish you could share his excitement, his sheer uncomplicated joy, but this visit comes with too many conflicting emotions for you to enjoy it at all.
you’ve always known you would not marry for love. you are the eldest child and only daughter of the lord of the reach – love has never been a factor you could afford to consider. you would do your duty and marry for your house, to seal whatever alliance your father deemed important enough. you’d resigned yourself to this fate as a young girl when your mother had told you in slow, halting words the fear she had felt coming south to marry your father.
but you’d not expected to marry a total stranger. you’d thought your father would at least do you the courtesy of allowing you to meet a suitor before betrothing you to them, but in his feverish ambition to sit his blood on the iron throne he’d promised you to a man you’ve never laid eyes upon.
you don’t want to be queen.
frankly, you think yourself a touch unsuited for it. your father has many times bemoaned your wildness, the wolfs blood that drives you to stubborn recklessness. though you’ve mellowed a little with age and experience, you think you’re still a bit too prone to chaos to be queen of the seven kingdoms one day. never mind the complexities added by the fact that queen rhaenyra’s claim is so fiercely contested, and her half-brother is the one currently physically sitting the iron throne.
thinking about the mess you’re marrying into too much makes your head ache, and the blazing noon sun does little to ease it. leo beside you continues to whisper rapidly about everything he knows about dragons, which is actually quite a lot considering his young age. you think absently you might need to have a word with the maester’s again; leo has wrapped most of the household around his finger, and the elderly maester is prone to indulging your brother when he fixates on a new topic of interest instead of sticking to his lessons.
the sound of hooves on cobble stones startles you from your meandering thoughts, and you straighten your spine as your eyes take in the unfamiliar man riding into the courtyard beside your father while your brother finally falls silent.
he’s handsome, at least; a tumble of dark curls brushing his shoulders, a sharp jaw and a strong nose. though you like to think yourself more than superficial, it eases at least some of your worries to know the prince is attractive to you. your mother had done you the courtesy of explaining what was expected of you on your wedding night after your first moons blood, and in secret since you’d perused the library for books detailing more lustful acts in an effort to satiate your unending curiosity.
you’re worried enough about completing your wifely duties without having to worry about finding the man lying with you repulsive, and so you allow yourself a few moments of relief at his pretty face.
your father dismounts first, gesturing for you to step forward as the prince gets down from his own horse. leo moves forward with you, eyes wide and shining with something akin to hero worship as he gazes at jacaerys. you have a wry thought that perhaps he should marry him since he is so clearly already enamoured, but you brush that aside as your father and the prince approach.
“i am most pleased to introduce my daughter, your grace, as well as my son and heir, leo,” your father says as they reach you, his satisfaction in his successful planning clear as he smiles smugly.
you dip into a perfect curtsey as leo bows a touch clumsily at your side. as heir it would traditionally be leo’s job to greet the prince, but when you send him a sidelong glance you see he is too busy making moon eyes at the darkhaired man to say anything, and so you take it upon yourself to speak.
“welcome to highgarden, my prince. we are honoured to host you,” you greet, finally meeting jacaerys’s eyes. they’re a warm amber shade, the noon sun turning them to liquid honey as he looks at you, and you feel your cheeks flush with the appreciation you can see in his gaze as he drinks you in. it seems he does not find you repulsive either, at least.
he sketches a quick bow, eyes never leaving yours, and you feel your heart start to race in your chest at his attention. “it is an honour to be here, my lady, and to finally make your acquaintance.” he smiles at you then, small and a little crooked but there, and your flush deepens. “i look forward to getting to know you better in the coming days.”
you swallow, hoping your budding attraction is not as obvious as you fear it is. your father is looking increasingly smug as he watches the interaction, though it seems to war with some paternal annoyance as jacaerys lightly flirts with you.
“and i you,” you return softly, a smile quirking on your lips.
“—can i meet your dragon?” leo bursts out, seemingly unable to contain himself any longer, and jacaerys blinks down at him in surprise as you resist the urge to press your palm to your face.
“leo,” you scold immediately as your father chortles at his heir’s enthusiasm for dragons. “the prince has had a long journey. you should give him a chance to settle in before demanding anything of him.”
“right you are, my dear.” your father waves to the household steward before turning to the prince. “alyn will show you to your rooms, your grace, so that you might freshen up, and then we have a feast prepared for this evening to welcome you to highgarden.”
jacaerys nods easily as the greeting crowd begins to disperse, the maester corralling leo to take him for his lessons with fond exasperation even as the boy loudly protests. you mean to go walk the gardens, and so you stay standing in place as the prince trails after your father and steward alyn.
he pauses beside you, though, a slight smile on his face as you look up at him questioningly. your eyes catch on the smattering of freckles on his face, and it takes a moment for you to process his words. “i look forward to speaking to you further at the feast, my lady.”
you smile back at him, cheeks flushing once again as his eyes linger on your mouth for a breathless moment. “i shall save you a dance, my prince,” you return a touch coyly, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“only one dance?” he teases, eyebrow arching.
you hum, head tilting to the side in mock consideration as something like satisfaction gleams in jacaerys’s eyes. “i shall have to use the first dance to judge your dancing skills, your grace, before i risk promising you another.”
he laughs then, a little surprised but no doubt pleased as his eyes crinkle with his wide smile. “then i shall do my best to meet your standards, my lady.” he dips into a quick bow of farewell, then, as you finally take note of your father lingering on the steps to the keep with raised eyebrows.
“we shall see,” you return as you curtsey.
you allow yourself a moment to watch his retreating back, eyes dragging over the strong line of his shoulders before you internally shake yourself and head to the gardens, thoughts swimming with honey brown eyes and tanned, freckled skin and a slow dawning certainty that while this betrothal may be unexpected, you doubt it will leave you unsatisfied.
the feast is in full swing by the time the prince arrives at the hall.
the minstrels are playing a jaunty tune as couples twirl on the dance floor. you sit at the head table with leo and your father, watching with a careful eye as your brother cuts up his food. he’s only just mastered the art of eating his food without spilling half if it down his doublet, but as distracted as he is by the festivities and the prospect of seeing a dragon close up, you worry he’s at risk of making a mess of himself regardless.
so absorbed in your task you are, it takes a long moment for you to realise jacaerys has arrived. it’s only when your skin prickles with awareness that you look up from leo and catch sight of the prince winding his way across the floor to the head table, eyes fixed on you. your head tilts to the side slightly as you watch him move, graceful and controlled, through the crowd.
he’s in black and red again, just as he had been when he’d arrived. it seems your father had been right when he’d stated that jacaerys favours his mother’s house colours. you smooth your hand over the skirts of your dress, the deep wine-red of the material feeling less out of place now, before standing with your father to greet the prince.
you all exchange pleasantries quickly as the noise in the hall dims, people realising the prince has arrived. your father ushers jacaerys into the empty seat between you and your father as he raises his goblet to the hall before speaking in his booming voice.
you don’t pay attention to your father’s speech, too aware of the warmth radiating from jacaerys who stands only inches from you to focus. you risk a glance at him from the corner of your eyes only to find his dark honey eyes fixed on you, and you cannot help but smile to yourself even as you flush, turning your eyes back to the crowd.
rousing applause and cheers draw you back to the moment, and you catch yourself in time to raise your wine in toast with your father. you go to sit back down as the crowd returns to its revelries, but the soft brush of a hand on your arm halts your movement. you turn expectingly to the prince, a soft smile on your lips.
“yes, your grace?”
“would you do me the honour of a dance, my lady?”
your lips quirk into a sly smile even as you bob your head in a nod. “i suppose i did promise you one, did i not?”
“that you did, my lady, and i have thought of nothing else since.” dark honey eyes sparkle with mirth as he offers you his hand, and with a quiet giggle you take it and allow him to lead you to the dance floor.
you feel the heat of his hand on your waist like a brand even through the layers of your dress, and it makes your breath catch in your throat. you inhale deeply in an effort to steady yourself as you rest your palm on his strong shoulder, and are immediately overwhelmed by the woodsy scent of him as he claps your hand in his and begins to dance.
you start the dance in comfortable silence, both of you taking a few moments to get a feel for the other and settle into the steps, and when you feel comfortable enough you speak.
“how are you finding highgarden, prince jacaerys?”
“jace, please,” he entreats, and elaborates only when you blink at him in confusion. “my friends and family call me jace, not jacaerys. we are to be married, my lady. it would please me a great deal for my future wife to refer to me as such.”
you nod in acceptance, butterflies erupting in your stomach at his eager expression. “jace it is, then,” you say, and try not to feel the way your heart flutters at his radiant smile in response. “although you have not answered my question. how are you finding highgarden?”
he hums, twirling you as the dance requires and then pulling you closer before responding. “your father has been very hospitable, and it is certainly beautiful here. the grounds especially, though i’m afraid i’ve not had the opportunity to see much of them as yet.”
“a shame we shall have to rectify, i think.” you offer him a small smile as you press just an inch closer, finding yourself wanting to be nearer him. “perhaps i could show you the gardens on the morrow?”
“yes,” he agrees a touch too quickly, and you giggle as his cheeks turn pink. “that is to say— i should like that very much, my lady. very much indeed.”
you lapse into silence once more as the dance reaches its crescendo, and you find yourself reluctant to leave the comfort of his hands as the music pauses while the minstrels ready their next song.
jace seems to share the sentiment, it seems, as his eyes linger on your entwined hands for a long moment before returning to your face. “have i met your standards enough for another dance, then?”
you take a moment to pretend to consider it, eyes narrowing slightly as you hum. he shuffles on his feet as he waits for your response, and you find the nervous motion far too endearing.
“i suppose so,” you concede after a moment, grinning at his smugly pleased smile as he tugs you closer.
“and what about the dance after that?” he asks lightly, something cheeky in his eyes as the music starts up again and he sweeps you along the floor.
“you should not press your luck, jace,” you say imperiously, although the effect is rather ruined by the silly smile on your face as he laughs with you.
jacaerys smirks. “my lady, since meeting you, i have felt nothing but a lucky man.”
you smother a snort, shaking your head at his unrepentant expression. “you are incorrigible.” it comes out a touch exasperated and yet far too fond.
“yes,” the prince agrees readily, a sly twinkle in his eyes. “but i think you rather enjoy it.”
your startled laugh is loud, though thankfully not so loud as to be heard over the minstrels. “perhaps.”
after that, the night is lost to flirtatious banter and dance after dance in your betrothed’s arms as a seed of affection is planted deep in your heart. and when you wake in the morning after dreaming of nothing but jace’s lips and eyes and words, you can think only one thought;
gods, i am in so much trouble.
time passes in a slow trickle of syrupy summer heat.
as the days go by, you find yourself spending more and more time in jace’s company. you’re always chaperoned, of course, a household guard following at a respectful distance wherever the two of you choose to roam. you find the whole thing a touch ridiculous; jace is to be your husband. it’s hardly like spending time together alone would be a significant scandal in light of your impending marriage, but your father insists there will be no doubts about your honour before the marriage actually takes place and so ser dickon is assigned as your reluctant shadow.
the date of the wedding itself remains unset as you and jace start to know one another. your father wishes for the marriage to wait until the war is done – a last-ditch chance to keep his options open, perhaps. Or, if you are feeling generous, a way to try and keep you safe from the greens when war inevitably rages. jace’s mother wishes the marriage to happen as soon as can be arranged – a way to try and ensure further heirs with the uncertainty of war looming, you assume.
you find yourself hoping the queen’s will wins the day as time creeps on. jace becomes ever dearer to you the more you learn about him, and soon you think of your impending marriage with nothing but hope and warm desire.
because oh, how you want him. from the first moment you’d laid eyes upon him you’d been attracted to him, but the more you get to know him, the more your heart opens to him – the more you ache for him. for his mouth on yours, his fingertips on your skin, his voice in your ear. if you were a less reckless woman, a little less shameless, you’d be embarrassed of how easily you think of him in your moments apart.
but late at night when the candles burn low and you are alone in your bed, there is no shame to be found, only the wildness of your wolfs blood and liquid heat as your hand drifts between your legs and you find completion with your betrothed’s name on your lips.
beyond the desire, though, is a slow blooming affection. it feels like every time you learn something new about him or share a new experience together, another petal of tenderness unfurls in your chest. when your father had first told you about your betrothal, you’d not dared to hope for more than civility with your husband-to-be, but now you find yourself harbouring deep fondness on top of steadily burning desire, and you look to your future as his wife with little else but excitement.
you’re not sure if jace feels the same. you don’t doubt he desires you; his flirtation and the weight of his gaze on your form is too frequent a thing for you to think otherwise. but desire is not the same as affection, and though you hope desperately that the way he always seeks your presence whenever he steps into a room means what you want it to mean, you can’t be sure.
after a week passes, you both start to chafe at the relentless presence of ser dickon. it feels like every time you so much as think about inching closer to jacaerys, ser dickon is there with his stern glare of disapproval. and so, when one morning jace suggests taking you to meet his dragon, alone, you are quick to agree.
you leave your guard long behind at jace’s instruction; he doesn’t want vermax crowded with strangers, he explains, but you personally think he seems a little too gleeful at the idea of being alone with you for that to be sole reason behind his insistence ser dickon stays far away. you don’t say anything since you’re equally pleased to finally be spending some time with your betrothed without feeling others curious eyes on you.
your excitement starts to waver, however, as you and jace get closer to his dragon. you’ve only seen vermax from a distance before this, and though it perhaps shouldn’t the size of him startles you. he’s just so large and fierce looking, the sharp spines on his back catching your eye. the beast yawns as you slow to a stop, jace sending you a quick smile before he continues on to greet his dragon with fondness, and the glimpse into vermax’s open maw – gods, there as so many teeth – has your palms starting to sweat.
jace stands beside his dragon, murmuring soothing words in high valyrian that you don’t understand as his hand smooths along his snout. your heart races in your chest, nerves making your hands shake when faced with this great beast. you curse your reckless curiosity, your northern stubbornness that makes it impossible for you to refuse a challenge. you have no idea how jace can look so at ease, the line of his shoulders relaxed and the slightest smile on his face as he talks to his winged steed, but there he stands.
“you can come closer now.” he turns to you, brown eyes shining with excitement and, yes, a hint of challenge.
he expects you to back out, you think, and that realisation has you straightening your spine and pressing your lips together. you twist your fingers in your skirts to hide the way they tremble as you step cautiously forward, eyes darting from jace to vermax and back. when you’re within touching distance of the velaryon prince, he reaches for your hand. the shock of his bare skin against yours arrests you for a moment, the slide of calloused fingers around your wrist startling in how easily it sparks desire in you.
you’re so distracted by the feel of him that you don’t realise until it’s too late that jace has tugged you closer, guiding your hand until it’s pressed to vermax’s scales, and then you’re too busy being surprised by how soft they feel to be annoyed that he’s so easily coaxed you into this position.
you still as the dragon rumbles, swallowing thickly as your fingers twitch against green scales. he blinks lazily at you, an alien intellect gleaming there as he seems to consider you for a long moment, and as you blink back at him some of the fear in your chest shakes loose.
because this is not just some beast, you realise. this is fire and blood and magic made flesh. there is life and intelligence in vermax’s eyes, not one you recognise but one you immediately respect. being this close to the dragon is a heady rush of awe and adrenaline; the knowledge that vermax could so easily harm you at any moment but is choosing not to because he trusts his rider. it’s staggering and wonderful and beside you jace is beaming, eyes shining with happiness at seeing you greet his draconic companion, and you are helplessly, hopelessly, wholly overwhelmed by your affection, your desire, by jace.
you kiss him.
it’s barely a kiss, more a breathless press of your mouth against his, and he startles at the sensation even as his arm loops around your waist. you break apart for the barest moment, nose sliding against his as you tilt your head, and jacaerys sighs out your name with heavy relief before he captures your mouth once more.
you’ve been kissed before, so you know the mechanics of it, but it’s never been like this. his lips move smoothly against yours as his hand flexes on your waist, drawing you closer until your chest is pressed against his. your hand tangles in his hair, fingers twisting in the soft curls and he moans with it, hand dragging up your back to cradle the back of your head tenderly as his tongue sweeps over your lips.
the gentle pressure of it has you gasping and he takes the opportunity immediately, tongue sliding against yours as heat pools in your core. your thoughts tumble wildly, incoherent as you can think of nothing but of how desperately you want more. the taste – the smell – the feel of him is drowning everything out that isn’t jace and you cannot resist it, do not even want to.
you want to kiss him forever, want his hand in your hair and his tongue in your mouth for always. you think he might even let you with how relentless he is, barely giving you a moments pause to catch your breath before consuming you in another desperate kiss.
you finally part only when vermax grumbles, cheeks blazing with heat as you step out of jace’s arms. jace murmurs lowly to his dragon in valyrian, and he nudges his great snout against jace’s shoulder in response before stepping away and curling down into the long grass to sleep. you take the moment to properly catch your breath again, hand pressing to your heaving chest in an effort to soothe your racing heart.
when you peek up at jace from beneath your lashes, you flush deeply at the sight of him. his curls are a mess, his lips swollen and cheeks pink beneath his tan. he looks almost debauched, and it sends a rush of desire through you. you suddenly can think of nothing other than him looking like this only flusher and skin glistening with sweat and in your bed.
the thought startles you into dropping your gaze to your feet, and you shuffle uncertainly. you feel – unsettled. you don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing a kiss with your betrothed, and yet something like guilt curdles in your stomach as you worry at your bottom lip. you had kissed him. for all that he’d kissed you back, you worry that now he will think differently of you. think worse of you.
a knuckle tucks under your chin, then, lifting your face so that you meet jace’s eyes. you feel small and strangely vulnerable in the aftermath of your kiss, like you have somehow shown him something you never intended to, and the urge to shy away remains. but you are not a winter rose for nothing and so you tuck the doubt away as jace runs his thumb soothingly along the line of your jaw.
“i have been thinking of doing that since the moment you first smiled at me,” he confesses, a hint of shyness in the quirk of his lips even as he stares steadily into your eyes.
“oh.” you blink at him once in surprise, the uneasiness in you finally settling at the fondness in his gaze. “oh. that’s— good.” you curse yourself for your lack of wit in this moment as jace snickers. “i-i mean, i’m glad that it was not… unwelcome.”
your betrothed looks at you with deep affection, then, cupping your cheek and ducking down to press a fleeting, butterfly-soft kiss to your mouth before reluctantly parting from you. “it was most welcome, my lady. most welcome, indeed.” his eyes sparkle with mirth. “i find myself looking forward to the next time you greet vermax, if this is the kind of response such a thing garners.”
“jace!” you narrow your eyes at him in pretend annoyance, even as you smother a giggle with your fingers. “you should not expect me to indulge in such desires again, then, if you persist in being so smug about it.”
his laugh warms you as the two of you fall into easy banter, leaving vermax to his rest and returning to the ever-watchful ser dickon, and all the while all you can think of is how much you cannot wait to kiss him again.
as the air cools with the dying light of day, you lead jace to the gardens.
in the week since your first kiss, jace has oft tugged you into shadowy corners for more kisses any chance he’s had. his desire for you is matched only by your own for him, and as your confidence in your mutual attraction has grown, you have been equally as likely to pull him into a dark alcove to trade sweet words and sweet kisses in secret.
it’s thrilling and exciting and wonderful, but as the week passes you find a growing doubt whispering in the back of your mind.
while you cannot doubt jace desires you, not when he is so relentless in chasing after your smiling mouth, neither of you breathe a word of any feeling between you beyond attraction. perhaps it is reckless of you, foolhardy to fall for him so quickly – but then you are your parent’s daughter, all wolfs blood and deep roots, and you know no other way of being than this.
so you take him to the gardens as the moon rises in the sky, sneak past the night guards and out into the fresh air. you guide him through the blooming flowers and swaying trees, stopping along the while when the fancy takes one of you to stop and examine an interesting bloom or inhale a sweet scent. at least three times he stops you to slot his mouth against yours, to swallow your breathless giggling with feverish kisses, and each time he does it takes longer and longer for you to disentangle yourselves from each other.
eventually, with swollen lips and mussed hair, the two of you reach the winter roses. your effervescent mood becomes sombre as the moon shines on the blue flowers, turning the petals almost silver, and jace seems to recognise the change in atmosphere, a seriousness overtaking him as he watches you approach the flowers.
“my mother planted the first of these roses,” you tell jace as you kneel at the edge of the flowerbed, uncaring of the risk of dirt on your dress as you brush fingers over the pale blue petals tenderly. “winter roses, they are, from the north. from winterfell. she was born a stark, you see, and when she was betrothed to my father the only thing she asked was to be able to bring a few blooms from the glass gardens. she used to call me her little winter rose when i was a child, and she would bring me here and show me how to tend to them.”
jace kneels beside you, glancing at the side of your face before turning to look curiously at the blue flowers. “they’re beautiful,” he tells you sincerely.
“i’ve always thought so, too,” you agree almost absently, stroking the petals in an effort to calm your racing heart. “everyone told my mother she’d never be able to get them to grow so far south. they’re very rare, you see, and need very particular conditions.” your lips quirk up into a fond smile. “but my mother, for all that she became a tyrell, was always a stark at heart. stubborn, you know. and now look at them, thriving.”
you gesture out at the carefully tended rows of roses. “nobody else comes here, now, other than the gardeners and me. i think… i think my father finds it too hard, being here. it makes him miss her too much. so i come here when i need to be alone. or when i wish to be reminded of her. it's the one place in the world where i feel i can be wholly myself, without any pretence or worry.”
jace’s gaze is fixed on you, now, eyes almost black in the faint moonlight as understanding dawns on him. “thank you for bringing me here.”
you nod once, climbing back to your feet, and jace follows you. he watches you so intently, like he’s afraid that you might disappear if he dares to look away. you feel a little like you might, feel tenuous and vulnerable and a breath away from cracking your chest open.
“i’ve never brought anyone else here,” you confess quietly, flexing your fingers with nerves as jace’s lips part in surprise. “i wished… i wished to share this with you. to share who i am, myself, with you, i suppose.” you laugh a little self-deprecatingly. “however pretentious that sounds.”
“it doesn’t,” jace denies immediately. you sense he wants to say more, but he seems to understand that you’re building to saying something yourself, and so he stays quiet, expression earnest and open and fond as he gazes down at you.
“i know it’s perhaps too soon – we have only known each other a few weeks. but i… when i first found out we were betrothed, i was so scared. i worried you would be some arrogant princeling, and i dared not hope for anything more than civility between us. i’ve always known i would not marry for love, but i did not ever consider i would marry a man i had never met.”
you pause for long enough to suck in a breath, feeling a little like the floodgates have opened and you simply can’t stop speaking, can’t stop the feeling pouring freely from you. “and then i met you, and you were so unlike anything i’d expected. i know we still have so much more to learn about each other, and i know that things are— complicated, with the war, and that our marriage may be a ways off yet, but still— i find myself feeling for you, and i cannot hide it anymore. i don’t wish to hide it from you anymore.”
you let the open affection in his face buoy you as you steel yourself, pressing your shoulders back in a mimicry of confidence. “i wanted to show you this part of me, this place, because i….” you hesitate for a breathless moment, biting your lip, before gathering every scrap of courage you possess and diving in headfirst. “i am falling in love with you, jacaerys.”
you inhale the sweet scent of the pale blue petals deeply, let the familiar scent soothe you as jace stares at you with wide eyes. the winter roses are something that, until now, have been so uniquely yours. as you’d told jace, none other than you and the gardeners comes to this corner of the gardens now. the staff that tend so carefully to the flowers know to leave you well enough alone if they stumble across you, skirts splayed on the ground and fingers diligently caring for the roses. you’ve never even brought your sweet little brother, though you can admit that’s for practicality as much as anything else – his childish energy is a bit too boisterous for these delicate blooms.
bringing jace here, bringing him here to confess the deepening affection you harbour for him, feels raw. feels like you’re tearing your heart out of your chest and offering it up to him for perusal, hands bloody and soul bare. feels like saying ‘this is all that i am and all that i have been and all i will ever be and i hope, i hope, i hope it’s enough.’
jace finally, finally speaks, sighs your name, soft and sweet and tender, and hope blooms in your chest.
“oh, my sweet lady,” he murmurs, crowding into your space as he cups your cheek, and the smell of woodsmoke and dragon and jace floods your senses. “i am falling so unbelievably in love with you. only, it does not feel so much like falling as it is like choosing it, like walking into love with you with my eyes wide open and seeing nothing but you.”
it's almost unbearable, the blazing heat of his gaze as he presses his forehead against yours, and it makes you tremble as your hands clutch as his elbows in an effort to ground yourself to this moment, to him. “our betrothal was decided for us without care or consideration for our own desires,” he says, lips brushing against your own with every whispered word. “i know that as well as you, but i need you to know that if i had the choice i would choose this. i would choose you, your stubborn heart, your fierce spirit, your gracious soul.”
his hand slides from your cheek to your hair, holds you so tenderly like you are something precious, and it steals your breath from your lungs as you revel in his unbridled affection. “i care not when we marry, if we marry, in truth, because in my heart you are already mine just as i am already yours.”
he kisses you, then, a desperate and greedy thing, as if he can no longer restrain himself from devouring you whole. and you are just as needy, hands fisting in his doublet as you press yourself against him and somehow finding yourself wishing to be closer still. the world narrows down to him and him only; his mouth, his hands, his hair. you can think of nothing else, and do not wish to, because in this moment you are wholly yourself and he is wholly himself and it’s enough, it’s wonderful and delicate and it’s enough.
and, there beneath the moonlight and amongst the winter roses, deep and enduring affection, the kind of love the bards sing songs about, takes root.
taglist; @eldrith
#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys targaryen x reader#jace x reader#hotd fanfic#jacaerys velaryon imagine#jacaerys vaaryon fanfic#house of the dragon fanfic#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys targaryen fanfic#jacaerys targaryen imagine#my writing
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learning curve ↠ day 6 ; dry humping
↠ monkey d. luffy x reader
fandom: one piece word count: 1.1k warnings: nsfw 18+, dual virgins, luffy and reader are inexperienced, jealous!luffy if you squint, takes place a bit after opla season 1 so luffy is aged up
kinktober m.list || read on ao3
“Luffy?” You call for your captain, peeking your head into his quarters. “Is everything okay?”
You noticed that your cheery and optimistic captain had been unusually quiet the past few hours. He never had gone that long without some sort of exclamation or crazy action, and his odd behavior was worrying to you. So when he finally retreated to his room, you decided to follow to see what was up.
“Oh!” Luffy’s eyes widen, as he says your name, clearly surprised to see you. He sends you a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?” You shrug, going inside and closing the door behind you. You take a seat next to him on his bed. “I don’t know,” you start. “You just seem…distant. You can tell me what's bothering you.”
Luffy sighs, taking off his hat to run a hand through his curls. “I don’t know how to describe it. I feel just so frustrated. But no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of it!”
You were confused too, unsure why Luffy wasn’t able to brush this off like he always did. Until a lightbulb went off. You remember Sanji mentioning urges that men get sometimes, and how they need a woman to fix it.
“It sounds like you might have some tension, you know, down…there.”
Luffy pauses, taking in what you said, before his eyes brighten. “I think you’re right!” he exclaims. “Oh wow, that makes a lot of sense now.” He goes quiet again, a sheepish look spreading across his face. “I don’t know how to get rid of it, though.”
You bite your lip, heat rising to your cheeks. “I think I’m able to help you with it.”
Luffy jumps up and grasps your shoulders. “Alright!” he cheers. He sits back down next to you and looks up at the ceiling, seemingly in thought. “That actually makes a lot of sense. The feeling always gets worse whenever I’m around you. I guess you have to be the one to fix it then, huh?”
“O-oh.” You stutter. Not only did you just discover that your captain (who you may have had a tiny bit of a crush on) was sexually frustrated, but he was like that because of you. A wave of heat rushed down your body.
“Yeah.” You confirm to Luffy, hoping to not seem too excited about this whole situation. “I just have to get on top of you.”
Luffy nods, spreading his legs and leaning back on his forearms, inviting you in. You immediately notice the boner he’s sporting, which makes you heat up even more. You seat yourself right on top of it, causing the two of you to moan harmoniously.
You start to move yourself on top of Luffy, his clothed cock hitting your pussy in the perfect spot. The fabric of your underwear rubs against your clit, causing your wetness to begin to stain it.
You reach your hand down to palm him through his shorts, hoping that you're bringing him pleasure from at least one of two ways. Luffy looks up at you with curious eyes.
“How’d you know to do this?” he asks you.
“I heard Sanji talking about it. He says guys feel like that a lot. Pent up, ‘s what he called it.” He goes quiet for a moment. “Have you done this with him?”
“W-what? No!” Your hands scrunch up in his vest and you swallow hard. “This is actually my first time doing anything like this,” you admit sheepishly, eyes downcast.
Luffy grins. “Yeah, me too!” he says brazenly. “Guess we’ll figure out how to do this together!” He laughs.
You send a matching grin back as you continue to grind on top of him. You’re practically sopping now, an audible sound happening when you rock back and forth on Luffy. His cock throbs furiously, and you gasp when he grabs your hips.
He starts to rock back onto you, pumping his hips upwards into you. You lean forward as the sensation weakens you, and Luffy buries his face into your neck.
“Feels good…” he mumbles into you. You hum in agreement as you squeeze your eyes shut in pleasure.
You increase your pace, wrapping your arms around Luffy as you both press close against the other, grinding each other uncontrollably.
Luffy suddenly stills your hips and moves you onto the bed, face down and ass hanging off the edge. You gasp in surprise.
“Want to try this,” he breathes out as he hovers over you. You’re met with him thrusting against you from behind, hips moving wildly as he lets out low groans behind you. Luffy wraps his arms around your midsection, holding you in place.
You’re strung out and helpless as Luffy humps into you, his pulsing cock hitting against your clit. Your wetness has fully soaked your bottoms, and Luffy is able to thrust his cock between your clothed lips with ease.
Your captain moves with reckless abandon, hips jutting against your own. Neither of you can talk past groans and whines. This act feels primal, both of you desperately chasing your release.
His hands on your waist tightens as he humps into you and his groans are loud in your ear. You arch yourself into him, attempting your best to rub yourself against his cock.
He moans out your name into the crook of your neck as his body covers your own. “You feel really great,” he continues, his voice cracking. He moves faster and faster against you, seeking his peak.
Your hands fist the bedsheet as you bounce back and forth against his thrusts and grinds against your clothed pussy. “Luffy!” you cry out. You can feel his hips start to move out of rhythm and he lets out a final low moan before you feel the stickiness of his cum seep through his shorts and onto your own.
Both of you are panting furiously, tired from your romp. Luffy rolls off of you, collapsing next you on the bed. You turn yourself onto your back and lean towards him, basking in the pleasure you just received.
Luffy turns his head towards you. “I don’t want you to do that with anyone else on the crew.” He says, with more seriousness than you’ve heard from him all night.
“I wouldn’t think of it.” You hesitate to continue as you prepare for disappointment with your next statement. “But—if you want, we can do this again soon. If you’d like to.” You mentally hit yourself in the head for stumbling over your words so embarrassingly.
He sits up, seemingly recovered from his orgasm. “Are you kidding? You don’t even need to ask! ‘Course we are!”
You laugh, wrapping your arms around your captain and giggling into his chest.
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