#the whole doping scandal

[uniteds]

stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:

1. the whole ass world cup in the middle of the season. what was that

2. manchester united sacking ronaldo and announcing a sale of the club in the middle of the world cup

3. ronaldo getting dropped at the world cup and his replacement scoring a hattrick immediately after

4. keeping up with the belgians (world cup edition)

5. keeping up with the belgians (courtois saying he doesn’t respect kdb after stealing his missus)

6. ronaldo stans beefing with a little moroccan girl

7. the kingdom of saudi arabia buying newcastle united and then telling the premier league that they didn’t and the premier league going “oh okay if you say so”

8. megan thee stallion being romelu lukaku’s date to lautaro martinez’s wedding

9. pique cheating on shakira and then shakira releasing a diss track about it

10. shakira figuring out pique cheated on her because someone ate her strawberry jam and pique doesn’t eat strawberry jam

11. apparently the girl pique cheated on shakira with (clara) cheating on pique with pep

12. wagatha christie libel case

13. real madrid dropping a video accusing barcelona of fascism and the government of cataluyna getting involved

14. the pope coming out as a manchester united fan

15. the one napoli fan that basically made zielinski strip on the pitch

16. mount vesuvius park shutting down because napoli fans wanted to fake an eruption as a celebration

17. frank lampard taking everton into a relegation battle, getting sacked, and then taking chelsea into a relegation battle

18. on that note: chelsea were in a relegation scrap and finished 12th

19. mourinho lost his first ever european final to sevilla europa league black magic

20. whatever the fuck borussia dortmund did on the last day of the bundesliga season

21. anthony martial’s ex wife chasing his first wife down a french motorway with a baby in the passenger seat

22. psg suspending messi because he took an unsanctioned trip to saudi arabia and then unsuspending him two days later because they didn’t want people talking about geopolitics

23. the absolutely bizarre messi apology video released by psg

24. spurs refunding their fans’ tickets after being embarrassing

25. pep’s heartbreak over the fact julia roberts is a manchester united fan

26. chelsea scored one goal in the month of april

27. chelsea and spurs had six managers between them and won one match combined between march and april

28. mourinho fighting anthony taylor after the europa league final

29. milan derby in the ucl for the first time since 2005

30. luis enrique saying he’s cool with the spanish players having sex during the world cup as long as they’re not having orgies

31. luis enrique saying he doesn’t have sex anymore unless his wife wants to

32. man city charged with 115 counts of financial doping and trying to get the barrister in charge disqualified because he’s an arsenal fan

33. mourinho wire-taping himself to catch referees being corrupt

34. ryan reynolds and mac from it’s always sunny in philadelphia buying a football club and that football club getting promoted

35. pele died rip

36. women football awards sponsored by shein and klarna having a category for “male football ally of the year” and it’s just random men that went to one (1) women’s game

37. barcelona negreia case (how do you say calciopoli in catalan?)

38. infantino saying he feels gay, african, like a migrant worker, disabled, arab, and qatari

39. infantino saying he was oppressed as a child because he was ginger and italy is not safe for gingers

40. david alaba’s father in law getting arrested for being one the leaders of a far right group plotting to overthrow the german government

41. richarlison being tumblr’s it girl for a month and then not scoring a goal for the next four

42. juventus being in the middle of another corruption scandal and being docked points because of it

43. two teams getting investigated by the british government for playing football the weekend the queen died

44. gavi getting a yellow card in the first minute of a football match

45. pogba’s brother was arrested by french authorities for being part of a group-organized extortion attempt against pogba

46. richarlison getting a tattoo of neymar’s face and neymar paying him 30k to get it removed

47. iker casillas coming out, puyol implying they had a thing, and both of them retracting it in the most misha collins way possible.

48. sane and mane fight

49. zlatan retired from football

50. barca withholding about 50 million in wages from their players and somehow frenkie still didn’t want to join manchester united

[se-dissimuler]

My personal head cannon for the two is that while nothing happened at Davis cup ‘23, it sets the stage for everything. Picture a tired af Jannik in his hotel room after the celebration just wanting to go to sleep only to get a knock at the door. It’s Matteo, he’s a little more than tipsy and Jannik isn’t sure of it all. He’s so used to Matteo just seeing him as a little kid he’s no sure when it all changed( it was literally that night Matteo realized he could not live without the ginger man) Matteo is like desperate to make this big love declaration but Jannik just pushes it off to him being drunk. Neither of them talk about it the next day, and Jannik thinks that’s the case. They still stay close, and then the doping scandal happens. Jannik can’t say anything but Matteo obviously knows something is up. Their match up at wimby happens and Matteo, fully sober, realizes he can’t hold it in anymore. So round two electric boogaloo of Matteo’s big love declaration happens at wimby. He spills his guts. Tells Jannik he loves him, can’t live without him, and wants to be with him. Thinks he’s the best player in the world, and can win it all. The whole nine yards.

This then proceeds with Jannik bursting into tears. He’s been holding in so much, having to lie to everyone around him, and now Matteo’s here telling him everything he’s wanted to hear, but his life could literally fall apart at any moment. He tells Matteo everything (how could he not) Matteo while shocked, is standing by his man. Tells him that nothing has changed and everything will work out in the end. Anyways that ends with them fucking nasty in that hotel room, and Darren makes a reminder to not get hotel rooms next to each other next time, if Matteo is at the same tournament. Fast forward to Davis cup ‘24, and they’re an established couple, they win it all together, and Jannik is in the early stages of his pregnancy with baby giulietta 🫃. The two were notoriously bad with birth control, absolutely nobody is surprised it happened this early. Though Matteo did promise his mother they would get married before the baby came.

i wish i didn’t care about internet safety because my FACE while reading this. it went 🙂😏😔😭😦😍☺️ THAT MPREG HIT ME LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN

u really put me in a rollercoaster anon it had everything from angst fluff and male pregnancy thanks for this 🤝🤝🤝🤝

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Wait, what other controversial things happened at these Olympics besides the Drag Queens parody ?

THE CONVICTED P*do in the Netherlands playing volleyball. (Which alone is enough to make me not want to watch.)

Then that whole gender debacle with the boxing event. (This one has more nuance then people care to admit)

typical doping scandals.

The Olympics not accommodating the athletes by making them sleep and eat in below mediocre conditions.

And then there is the whole thing on which countries should or Should not be involved.

And of course, it’s in France.

[mousemannation]

Q for you and also other daniil fans ig:

Would you rather Daniil have Jannik’s year, his success in slams and all that, but you also have to take his doping charges and impending ban?

I thought it’s an interesting question because for Carlos and Novak the answer will obv be no. But as a Daniil fan I thought twice about it ngl. I decided on no btw

ooooooh okay first of all excellent question!!! second of all omg i am also second guessing myself....

I think honestly I would take the success... Like, I won't deny that the scandal has been hard for jannik, and is something that a lot of people are being very rude about; but like... he's also had a lot of good this year? Like the season has been FANTASTIC for him despite the horrors. Two slams, five masters, no.1 + year end. Would he give up his success if it meant no doping scandal?

But all that wouldn't mean anything if not paired with the fact that I think daniil could handle it.

Look, he's no stranger to being the villain- he's been the villian his whole career! I do think daniil and jannik are similar in a lot of ways, and I think the way jannik has managed it is much like how daniil would, and jannik didn't have near the same amount of experience being hated 😭😭

I guess like, I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but if it did happen I just think daniil comes off as self-assured and able to disregard what other people say enough that he'd make it through.

Final note... I know winning isn't everything but in the same vein neither is a doping scandal 🤷 maybe if i felt stronger about doping I'd care more but I so entirely don't sjiwkwkwkw

[mappawhereisyoi]

A Ramble about Ice Adolescence & the Franchise as a Whole

Myself and the team behind #MappaWhereisYOI and its petition do not believe that delays and silence on Ice Adolescence are because of the creators. I personally think it has everything to do with the studio and the distributor. If the creator and director are involved in any way, it’s probably because they refused to compromise their vision at one point or another.

As we all know, the intellectual property is dead. There is no new official art or merchandise has been released in years outside of collaborations with contracts sign forever ago. There are no advertisements for it. The most we get these days are tweets to celebrate character birthdays - likely pre-programmed bots.

Part of me believes that Mappa and Avex have let it fade away on purpose. If no one remembers Yuri!!! on Ice, no one will be knocking on their doors asking where the movie is and why they were unable to complete this project. No one will be doubting their abilities to see started projects through to the end. Did the doping scandal, COVID and war impact the movie? Probably, but the delays started before that.

The other part of me believes that, after everything, they don’t think it would be profitable to put the movie out anymore even if it was ready. It has been six years since it was announced, after all. Admittedly, the fandom is not as concentrated as it once was, but if they dropped the full movie trailer tomorrow it would be different. They’d break the internet. The love for YOI is still there in people’s hearts - I see it on every viral tweet and tiktok.

That second part, that’s what I’m fighting for. It’s what I’m holding onto. If that’s the reason, I want to give Mappa and Avex the message that we all still care. That’s why I’m pushing this petition. It feels like the only thing we can do at this point, but I know, if we get enough buzz going about Yuri!!! on Ice and enough signatures, that we could potentially make a difference and save our beloved show.

If this resonates with you, please consider signing and sharing our petition!

[sergeifyodorov]

is valieva actually terrible at skating? i'm a fake figure skating fan and only really pay attention during olympics seasons... i remember the doping scandal and her disappointing free skate but that's all i know...

ok i'm not some kind of Technical Expert and this is a question much better suited for @tofumilanesa than me (sorry for the tag!) but... yeah. and it's on purpose too

before we talk about Skating though we have to talk about Silly Little ISU Politics, which is always a dreadful chore and just a real slog. the ISU (international skating union)(figure skating governing/judging body) is the one that determines the rules for how fs is judged over the years. in essence there's 2 parts of a figure skater's score: the TES (technical score) and the PCS (program component score). the TES measures the value/quality of each individual element (jumps etc) and the PCS measures "skating skills, performance and composition, and transitions." see how little skating skills is part of that? less than half of half of the whole score.

if you've also noticed how little of this is objective, correct! shmoozing to the ISU can get you... generous judgments on your more borderline calls -- bad technique can get glossed over way more easily. especially by larger federations, and especially, in ladies' singles, by The big federation (Rusfed.)

All that to say is that the Russian girls are being judged. pretty kindly. So if you're coaching them, you don't really have to do things like "ensure they're good enough skaters not to get their asses torn to shreds by the PCS panel" and you can focus more on getting that fourth rotation out of that underfed teenager.

so all these girls (and it's not just Valieva -- Shcherbakova, Trusova, Kostornaya to some extent, and the newer generation of Petrosian and Usacheva and Tikhonova and the like, as well as the older girls like Medvedeva and Zagitova) come out of the same camp (all trained by Eteri Tutberidze, who you can immediately recognize at the edge of every rink by her bleach blond it's-gonna-be-may hair and sour expression) and they learn how to spin in the air and that's it. bad initial technique is not trained out of them, because dedicating the time to learning how to jump more safely (ex. EVERYONE has a flutz. except trusova but it's not like her tech is great either) is time you are taking away from getting that stable quad. this training is intensive enough that there's a phrase -- the "Eteri expiration date" where these girls retire at 17 sharp, from injury or anorexia or both.

(this is not necessarily an all-of-Russia problem -- Elizaveta Tuktamysheva is 25 and still going. That being said, no Russians who are competitive on the world stage besides her come out of anywhere except Eteri's camp, so it might as well be.)

anyway, back to skating technique and kamila: figure skating doesn't place nearly as much an emphasis on forward speed as hockey does, but it places a lot More emphasis on efficiency, depth of edges, and smoothness.

probably the best example of this is crossovers -- if you watch a program like, say, valieva's bolero (she skates it clean at GP Rostelecom), whenever she does crossovers, she's doing three or four and putting her whole back into it. You can watch her shoulders bob up and down as she's stroking -- meanwhile, watch bronze medalist Kaori Sakamoto go, and she needs barely two and all her power is coming from her legs.

actually, sakamoto vs valieva is a pretty easy comparison re skating skills: when sakamoto skates, she leans very hard into her inside or outside edges, while valieva doesn't really do that at all. sakamoto's crossovers are a lot more powerful, and she has a much easier and more fluid transition from forward to backwards skating. she's also a lot faster -- and i know we said there's less emphasis on that, but speed with little effort is a really good measure of technical ability, and valieva is basically crawling compared to sakamoto (for an even better example of effortless speed, go watch old yuna kim programs!)

but valieva is 6 years younger, didn't medal, and will have quads for the next year or two before she retires from hip or back injury, while kaori might even show up at the next olympic cycle, so who's to say who's winning that game

[gratisdiamanten]

hello! in your recent post about Max's accent you mention that you'd like to do an autopsy of Visma-Lease-a-Bike 'once the doping scandal drops'. i'm very intrigued as to what form this 'autopsy' would take, and also about the reasons why you believe that it's inevitable that a doping scandal will emerge.

i agree that there's definitely something happening (whether that's outright use of banned substances at a team-wide level or by individual riders, or so-called 'grey doping' – using PEDs that are not yet illegal) at Visma/in the modern peloton as a whole, and i'd love to hear your thoughts on to what extent this could be happening – and, if you'd like, continue discussions in DMs.

:)

I'd love once things come to light to do a comprehensive look at the development of the team(s) and also how people from the team have talked varyingly about its dynamics over time! I have kind of an academic outlook on sports. On a funnier level I want to know what Primi is going to sound like about it ten years from now if it's out by then, because I know he'll say the most insane cryptic equivocating shit.

I think it's moderately widespread. I think gray doping is team sponsored and straight up law-breaking is mostly individual athletes. For Visma I think it's mostly just. Highly regimented gray doping. I'd venture a guess that the cyclists don't even think hard about it whatsoever, dopers generally don't, and if it's not against the rules then what are they really doing wrong.

I have really bland takes on the reality of it, honestly, but I am more fascinated by narratives of doping and of the attempts to transcend the limits of human physiology:)

[moths-wc-aus]

ok ok thoughts on the hypoparents au!

so!!!!! the new prophecy happens, yada yada, we start settling in the new territories. squirrelflight and tawnypelt suddenly find, uh oh! we can't stop thinking about each other!

(side note, one of my issues with bramblesquirrel is the age gap and i'm pretty open about that, BUT the difference between that and tawnysquirrel is that tawnypelt likely never met squirrelpaw until the beginning of the new prophecy, and in this au, had absolutely zero romantic interest until a) they both got to know each other and b) squirrelflight was a fully grown adult warrior able to consent and make her own choices. it's not as Yikes to me because with bramblesquirrel, brambleclaw knew her from the time she was basically a newborn, and with tawnysquirrel, tawnypelt only met her when she was almost grown up)

so squirrelflight and tawnypelt start meeting in secret. at some point hawkfrost successfully kills firestar, and brambleclaw becomes leader. it is important to mark that brambleclaw did NOT help hawkfrost, nor is he aware of what hawkfrost has done! he's an ass in this au, but not a villain. squirrelflight is mourning the shit out of her dad and starts feeling all icky and bloated and sleeping all the time, but that's like. normal for grief, right? oh, she's pregnant? OH FUCK, SHE'S PREGGERS?????

so she tells tawnypelt all panicky n shit, and tawnypelt is also panicking but is better at thinking through things under pressure, and tawny's like "uhhh fuck you're gonna start showing at some point. uhhh i know that there's an unspoken rule about not asking queens who their baby makers are, we could use that??? i mean. our relationship is KINDA illegal so…." and squilf goes "FUCK that!!! i do NOT want people whispering about our kits and making all kinds of shitty assumptions about their sire!!" and tawnypelt has this moment where she's completely blown over with love and is like [heart eyes] "our kits"

so they talk a little more and decide hey, bramblestar is tawnypelt's brother, they could probably ask him to pretend that he sired squilf's kits??? bramblestar has an Unexpected Huge Reaction of "CODE BREAKERS??? IN MY CLAN????? HELL NAW" and kicks squilf tf out, spilling the beans to literally everyone. so basically everyone around the lake is scandalized as fuck, and tawny and squirrel are both MORTIFIED and wondering "hey wtf just happened" (wtf just happened is that bramble and crow have been in their own super toxic hatefuck illegal relationship, and bramble figured that if he starts cracking down on cats who have cross-clan relationships, then no one would suspect HIM of having one!)

leafpool then has a vision of firestar and goes to squilf like "hey uhhhh dad is really pissed about this whole thing and has given you permission to like. start a new clan. i'd be willing to join btw!!! i just gotta figure out how my job would work…" and squilf is like "dope! i don't… particularly want to be leader?" and tawnypelt is like "mmm neither do i… BUT if i become leader i could be the best damn leader ever and piss off my dad, so i'll do it ig!"

some windclan cats who'd been against onestar catch wind of this and join, as do other cats who were in their own secret relationships! tawnystar becomes leader of galeclan with squirrelflight as her deputy and leafpool and mothflight as her healers, and the two mates have a healthy litter of three kits, named flamekit, hollykit, and lionkit! (they later have another litter, alderkit and rowankit!)

crowfeather ends up having his own kit (breezepelt) and cursing bramblestar's name for knocking him up. he refuses to say who breeze's sire is and no one wants to ask because he WILL throw the fuck down. bramblestar knows he's breeze's other dad, though crowfeather hasn't confirmed it. it's sort of up in the air on whether breeze knows that bramble is his other dad? neither have said anything, but sometimes breezepelt looks at bramblestar in a way that makes crow and bramble wonder…

and no, bramblestar hasn't approached breezepelt. he feels pretty awkward about the whole thing, and he didn't even know breezepelt existed until… oh, man, his fourth or fifth gathering as an apprentice, maybe? the point is, bramble doesn't know the kid and isn't sure if he actually wants to be in his life, so just… doesn't reach out. there's always a part of him wondering what it might be like to be a dad, though…

[papirouge]

Hey papi, how are you doing? Hope you're having a good weekend 💕

I'm the tranwomen in videogames anon. Thanks for the answer! I really thought about what you siad and it made sense to me. I can see the whole videogame industry filled with more drama and degeneracy due to the types of people it attracts, so I shouldn't mope about there not being enough women. Honestly, sometimes I read stories about women getting messages like "I'll fucking rape you and cut your throat you cunt" when they dont hide their sex... Like who would want to be in such a space? Sometimes I do enjoy watching videos about videogames and there are some pretty dope things and events, so I do get this wanting of there being a place for women in vg without drama or issues. But you're right. I'm glad there are women in other IT departaments successing and being able to even work from home.

Plus there have been sexual scandals in certain scenes, and even the non sexual scandals can be pretty wild. Just last week I was watching this video about this gamer bro who commited suicide and he literally blamed two other gamer bros for "giving him the final push he needed" in his farewell suicide video, all because they called him out for defending his incel white supremacist friend. Like I feel really bad he commited suicide, but it's extremely shitty to partially blame this two dudes because they covered the drama.

But yeah, I guess I can forget sometimes how nasty and rancid the gamer scene can be. I mean, they even get a lot of negative stereotypes associated with them both with normies and between the community itself. The best thing for women would be to not show their faces and try to build a mostly female audience focusing on games popular with girls and women.

And btw, Ive actually stumbled upon some videos that have some transwomen gamers in tournaments and so on and the comments... men can truly be ruthless. I'm honestly not ok with making fun of their appearance or their voices, or how they dress, I think it's low hanging fruit and simply bullying.

Transwomen are men so you better let men deal with their own issues by themselves. There are more to life than gaming breadtube and all their drama. IDK how old you are anon, but I don't know whether all of this will truly matter when you're 30... lol

If you want to chose a career path where you have to publicly expose yourself, might as well chose one you won't age out of in a few years. A a very few are worth it, that's why it's not worth to show your face imo

[themostvindictivemind]

I saw this meme for the hundredth time today and instead of scrolling by like normal I actually thought about it for a second. How high could a human jump if given a suitcase full of cocaine? So I did what any reasonable person would do and I went down a 5 hour research rabbit hole. Here's what I found, minus things that don't really give insight into the effectiveness of drugs.

The first thing I learned was that "doping", as it's called in the business, is nowhere near a new thing. It dates back to the original Olympic Games of ancient Greece. Per Wikipedia, "Athletes were also known to drink "magic" potions and eat exotic meats in the hopes of giving them an athletic edge on their competition." And in the beginning of the modern era, things weren't much more sophisticated. The first documented case of doping in the modern Olympics was the winner of the 1904 Olympic Marathon, Tom Hicks, who was given strychnine and brandy to enhance his performance. And apparently, it worked! Hicks won gold that day, beating the second place runner by SIX (6) WHOLE MINUTES, which doesn't just mean that the first drugs used in the Olympics were rat poison and booze, but also that rat poison and booze actually worked.

Then athletes discovered they could improve their performance further by pumping a lot of testosterone and consuming a lot of amphetamines. Which makes sense; anabolic steroids are just synthetic testosterone and testosterone itself is a steroid so filling your body with even natural T is going to make a lad look roided. I don't think I need to explain how the amphetamines helped.

This led to the only drug-related Olympic death, where Knud Jensen fell off his bicycle and died during the road race at the 1960 Rome Olympics. Initially, it was thought he passed out from the heat. When it was discovered that he was actually on massive amounts of Ronicol (basically meth), a lot of sports organizations banned drugs and the ICO followed not long after, leading to the eventual formation of the WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) in 1999. Because of these new bans, we have the very comical first OFFICIAL CASE of doping, where Hans-Gunnar Liljenwall was disqualified for "[having] two beers, to steady his nerves". Alcohol is considered by the ICO and WADA to be doping; I just think it's funny that even though he was technically on performance-enhancing drugs he still only won bronze. So i guess the conclusion there is "booze works, but only strong booze", which all of us already knew.

Now we've made it to what most people likely think of when they think "Olympic doping scandals": The good ol' USSR (plus West Germany)

Both East and West Germany and Russia were notorious for doping their athletes, or at least for being accused of it. There is an 800-page dossier detailing West Germany's use of PED's in sporting events, both in and out of the Olympics. It was most prevalent during Munich 1972 and Montreal 1976, when apparently more than twelve hundred East German athletes were doped. In '72, East Germany scored 66 medals, and in '76 they scored 90, and interestingly enough the US and the Soviet Union were the only countries to score more in total. East Germany also won more Gold than the US in '76. In 1976, the original winner for the 110+ kilo category for weightlifting was Valentin Khristov, about whom I was able to find next to nothing, not evenhow much he lifted. But he was disqulified for testing positive for anabolic steroids, and even on the offifcial Olympics website his score has been replaced with "Disqualified". The medal went to the runner-up, Vasiley Alexseyev, who lifted 260 KILOS (572 POUNDS). Which means that whatever Khristov lifted, it was more. So the steroids definitely played a role there.

In the next summer Olympics in 1980, there were so many doped athletes that an Australian study from 1989 said "There is hardly a medal winner at the Moscow Games, certainly not a gold medal winner, who is not on one sort of drug or another: usually several kinds."

The 1954 and 1966 World Cups also had doped-up German athletes, and any FIFA fan can tell you Germany won in 1954 and would've won in 1966 if not for a Hat-Trick scored by England's Geoff Hurst. However, I feel I should add that the Hungarian team they were playing against in '54 scored more goals than them over the course of the tournament, if that added context matters, which I wouldn't know because the only football I watch is Gaelic Football.

But after all this research i started thinking about other ways performance could be enhanced, namely through cybernetics. Imagine an Olympics where the athletes aren't on drugs, but have cybernetic limbs/possibly even organs that are orders of magnitude more efficient and powerful than an ordinary human's. Eventually, if cybernetic enhancements become an actual thing made by private companies and not the military, one of those corporations is probably going to do something like that. An "Enhanced Olympics", if you will, or at least that's what I'd call it because it sounds badass. Something like the 1892 Chicago World Expo, except with more cyborgs and hopefully less H. H. Holmes. Just to showcase how much better people with their products can perform. Completely normal looking humans with god-like strength, reflexes, and flexibility. Could you imagine?

Right off the bat the athletes are breaking long-standing world records. A US Marine Corps Veteran, who has both of his legs but hasn't walked in years, absolutely shatters the triple jump record, seeming to almost fly through the air. His final distance is over 27 meters ( 88.5 feet).

Now there's no telling what the longest triple jump will be by the time this takes place, if ever. The current world record was set in 1995 and has yet to be broken, but I can guarantee that if a new record is set, and then ten new records thereafter, the new world record won't be 27 meters. In fact, I can guarantee that it won't even be 25, and I can also say with a great degree of certainty that it won't be 20. Because that 1995 record? It's only 18.29 meters. The previous 10 records are all within CENTIMETERS of each other, and the previous HUNDRED RECORDS aren't even shorter by a single meter. As a matter of fact, the world record hasn't even increased by 5 meters from the first ever Olympic triple jump of 13.71 meters (A litle less than 45 feet), which was done at the 1896 Olympics.

So an unenhanced human getting 20 meters in the triple jump is damn near an impossibility, and 25 is entirely out of the question. Sure, maybe if some unassisted athlete trained insanely hard for their entire life, and maybe if that athlete were geeked out of their fucking mind on some probably-fatal cocktail of drugs, it could be theoretically possible for a normal human to do. But 27 meters is insanity to even hope to achieve. Go out and try to jump even 10, and you'll still fall far short. To get to 27 you'd have to be bred to be an Olympic long jumper, and even then you'd still need an unholy metric fuck ton of performance enhancing drugs. And here's this paralytic 50-something, crushing it like it's nothing to him.

And as the other Olympians step forward for their sports, it becomes clear that it was nothing to him.

Because he wasn't even trying. But the next ones don't hold back.

The same kind of thing happens for the other events. One by one these enhanced olympians are annihilating the concept of possibility. Javelin throwers launch javelins out of the stadium; Gymnasts perform mindbending routines not on balance beams but on slackline suspended dozens of meters in the air; wrestlers dislocate and relocate their own bones painlessly to escape impossible choke holds and figure-fours.

Sure, it's a capitist cash grab, and the early testing phases for the technology would no doubt be painful. But somehow I feel like Hephaestus would look at what the sons of men are doing and smile.

[folkfleur]

some scattered, mixed headcanons for mila ♡

- figure skating was important to mila growing up, and she loved that it was a sport she could do by herself. mila is more of a loner, and dislikes being around other people. but skating brought her an adrenaline rush, she felt like she was flying on the ice. the competition wins and the news headlines made her feel beautiful, talented, incredible. then the competition became her world.

- it's important to know that while yes, mila was disqualified over a doping scandal, she never purposefully took performance enhancing drugs. mila took whatever her coach gave her, and did what she told her to do.

- she's not very emotionally expressive, and her accent is still thick, and mila struggles with speaking english, so she can be difficult to understand sometimes. it frustrates her a lot.

- mila felt trapped in russia after her scandal and hospitalization. she hurt herself too badly to ever skate again, and the whole world had seen the worst moments of her life. she was too embarrassed to stay, and so she moved to canada (this is flexible, she can move wherever is necessary for the rp!) where she had hoped to revisit her skating career. mila misses her family pretty often.

- her clothing style is mostly sweaters, jeans, and athleisure joggers. mila doesn't care much for fashion or makeup, and so she stays comfortable and natural. she doesn't hate 'girly' things or anything like that, but she doesn't see the point in it unless it was for competitions.

[quotesfrommyreading]

Don Catlin, the man who set up the United States' first performance-enhancing drug testing laboratory, the UCLA Olympic Analytical Laboratory in Los Angeles, had been studying the drug erythropoietin, called EPO, from the start. It appeared on the market in the United States in 1989 as a drug used for kidney patients and AIDS-related anemia, but athletes long before that had learned of its magic powers. EPO is a powerful hormone that boosts endurance by increasing red blood cell production. More red blood cells means more endurance. In the sport of road cycling, it turned out to be a miracle potion.

The drug comes in a vial less than an inch and a half tall. But it is filled with several doses. No longer would endurance athletes have to undergo the dangerous and logistically difficult process of receiving blood transfusions to boost their red blood cell count. Now enhancing one's endurance was as simple as pricking the skin with a needle. Athletes could receive what one unpublished Swedish study said was an average 8 percent boost in aerobic capacity. The study said the drug could cut 30 seconds from a 20-minute run. In cycling, using the drug could mean the difference between winning the Tour de France and not even qualifying for one's Tour team.

There was a frightening downside, though. EPO raised a rider's hematocrit level – the proportion of red blood cells in the blood and a measure of blood's thickness. A man's hematocrit is usually between 42 and 48 percent of his whole blood.

But with EPO, some cyclists were boosting their hematocrit into the 50s, or even higher. Bjarne Riis, the 1996 Tour champion, was even nicknamed “Mister 60 Percent” because EPO was rumored to have jacked up his hematocrit that high. The practice was inherently dangerous. If athletes overdosed on EPO, the drug would turn their blood to a viscous, sticky sludge that could cause a stroke or heart failure. Dehydration, which often occurs during long races, makes the blood even thicker. By the late 1980s, cyclists were buying the drug on the market. Then they started dropping dead.

In 1987, five Dutch cyclists died of heart problems. On August 17, 1998, Connie Meijer, a Dutch rider, passed out and died while competing in a criterium race. Diagnosis: heart attack. She was twenty-five. One day later, Bert Oosterbosch, another Dutch rider, died in his sleep, at thirty-two. Again, a heart attack.

Doctors and blood specialists said EPO abuse might have played a role in the deaths of at least eighteen professional European cyclists in the years from 1988 to 1992. Ten deaths were attributed to heart problems. The cycling magazine VeloNews declared that “an atomic bomb” had gone off in the sport. News of the deaths was picked up by mainstream media outlets. The New York Times carried a headline: “Stamina-Building Drug Linked to Athletes' Deaths.”

Catlin sounded an alarm within the International Olympic Committee. As a member of the IOC's medical commission, he pressed for an investigation. The athletes had taken a drug for which no test had yet been developed. Catlin believed the IOC should do something about it, and right away, because lives were at stake.

He went with an IOC team to Europe on a fact-finding mission. He found no one who would talk about EPO. Family members refused to cooperate. Riders said they'd never heard of it. Basically, they told Catlin to go away. Again and again, he told them, Don't be afraid to talk. We're trying to save the lives of other cyclists. Please help us.

In reply, he heard nothing. He believed that some people were protecting not only the memory of friends, family and teammates – they were also protecting the sport. Doping scandal followed doping scandal. Something had to be done.

Catlin made his pitch in 1988. But the code of silence that had served cycling for so long could not be broken. Seven years later, Lance Armstrong used EPO for the first time.

  —  Cycle of Lies: The Fall of Lance Armstrong (Juliet Macur)

[m4nga-stills]

So hannam is showing everyone photos of Vinny with jack

Im so glad vinny has jack 😩❤️❤️

Then when minu outruns them he runs into TJ (tj left sanghos)... Minu rips on tj for the whole doping scandal. But tj deserved it because he tried to make minu feel like shit, then tj pops off because that scandal ticks him off (rightfully so)

Minu's family's bodyguards are also still after him 😩 idk what's the big deal

TJ has a point, however thats not a justifiable reason to make minu feel like shit. Jay also uses biking to escape from reality. Being rich or poor has nothing to do with being involved in a bike crew. Like why is TJ so jealous of minu, i dont get it. The animosity tj has is clear as day.

I hope minu doesnt listen to that shit but he probably will because tj had like .2% of a point 😩

[schneeloewe]

I haven't watched figure skating since the pandemic started. Came back for Beijing 2022 and oh it's a whole circus here

[max1461]

TOP five people named magnus in the world

5. Magnus carlsen

magnis carlsen is the worlds most powerful chess player, having earned the rank of "grand master". this has made him an incredible figure in the chess world. however, recently his fame has been rocked by scandal. there are rumors that he cheated by using a vibrating buttplug to enhance his chess skills while playing the game. these shocking allegations call his grand master status into question. however, whether he used artifical "doping" to win his title or not, his extreme chess power earns him a spot on this list.

4. Magnus archives

Mangus archives, also known by the nickname "trans misogyny affected" by many of his fans, is one of the most popular podcasting stars in the world. although he retired from his podcasting career in 2021, his fans still think that he is one of the greatest podcasters who ever lived, along side the likes of joe rogan and el chapo. thanks to his incredible podcasting prowess, magnus archives earns a spot on this list.

3. Magnus herchfeld

Magnus hirschfeld was a german scientist who is largely credited with being the first man to discover how to have gay sex. while many other scientists had tried before, none could compete with doctor hirchfeld's revolutionary theories. he even started a school, called the institüte for sexualwitchencraft, for teaching his discoveries. however, his school was destroyed by adolf hitler when the nazis came to germany. for his revolutionary discovery of gay people everywhere, mangus hirschfeld earns a spot on my list.

2. Mangus Maximus

this guy was a roman emperor so powerful, he even got his face on a coin. he became the emporer of rome in 300 bc, and used his military skills to conquer wales. nobody has ever heard of this guys because he died thousands of years ago, but that doesn't change just how awesome of a magnus he was. so don't forget this old faithful! for that reason, he earns a spot on my list.

1. Magnus Von Grapple!!!!!!!!!!

that's right folks, the one youve all been waiting for. magnus von grapple is the most famous magnus of all time, because he's a giant and powerful robot. try to compete with THAT. ever since he made his appearance in "paper mario", his fans have been rooting for him above all else. there is a whole list of things which makes this magnus the best, but lets just say: if you disagree, he could smash you with his feet. the all time greatest magnus of all time, for that reason, he earns the number one spot on this list.

[enby-axels]

and she was right the whole time 😩 queen we dont deserve you

“Imagine being Gubanova, beautiful and talented young girl with a rotten soul.“