#the weekenders 24th anniversary

[papimoore]

24 years since Disney has center a TV show on the weekend life of four 12-year-old 7th graders called The Weekenders.

[coldflashevents]

EVENT ANNOUNCEMENTS (2024)

LET'S GOOOOOO!

Hello, all! Thank you all for your patience, and for your responses for the interest check. I'm back to let you know the results, and with some exciting announcements for the year ahead.

First of all, I'd like to announce that we have another mod on board! Everyone please welcome @burdenedwithpointlesspurpose, who'll be helping myself (@coldflasher) and @moriavis run the events this year! We're very excited to be running these events for you :D You can reach out to any of us on this blog or on our main blogs with any questions.

And now, onto the events!

Most people wanted three events, and the most requested event types were prompt-based events, including both mini weekend events and longer week-long events. People also expressed interest in bingos and big bangs.

The majority of respondents had greater availability to participate in the summer months, between April and August.

That being said, I'm excited to announce that our first event will be a mini weekend event that will take place on the 27th and 28th April 2024. This will be a prompt-based event very similar to Cool for the Summer, an event we held in July 2022—we'll provide a list of prompts chosen by you, and then everyone can create works inspired by the prompts, or a combination of them. These types of events are very chill; there are no sign-ups and no commitments, just lots of Coldflash content!

You know what that means—we need prompts! Please drop your prompts in our askbox (you can do this anonymously, if you'd prefer) and once we've got a good number of prompts, we'll give everyone the chance to vote on their favourites.

If you're interested in a slightly more involved event format, I'll also be announcing zine sign-ups for our Coldflash 10-Year Anniversary zine very soon, so stay tuned! We're currently looking at a provisional publication date of March 24th, 2025, which will be the ten-year anniversary of 1x16: Rogue Time, the episode where Leonard learns Barry's identity, and an uneasy truce is struck between them...

I wanted to choose a date with significance to the ship whilst also ensuring that everyone has plenty of time to work on their submissions, and to give us time to put the zine together once we've received them all.

Right now, the aim is for everyone to have their final submissions in by the end of December 2024. Please note that these dates have not been finalized, and are still subject to change, so watch this space for more details.

More information on sign-ups will be released shortly!

If anybody has any questions, please let us know. Until then, happy coldflashing!

[tightjeansjavi]

Today is officially my 1 year anniversary of writing fic! (Insane honestly!) I wrote my very first Joel fic: Burning in a Hopeless Dream on February 22nd 2023 💗

To celebrate, I’m hosting a sleepover this weekend: Saturday, February 24th! - Saturday March 2nd

♡ Request List ♡

📝 - ask me about my writing (the process, what inspires me to write, etc)

🗒️ - ask me about a WIP I’m currently working on!

🎧 - I will make a Spotify playlist for your favorite Pedro character

🖼️ - I will make you a moodboard for your favorite Pedro character

🦋 - I will write you a ~500 word~ blurb/drabble of a Pedro boy from the list below: [please let me know if there’s anything in your request that you would not be interested in seeing! (smut,angst, violence, etc.) Feel free to be as detailed with your request as you would like!

♡ Joel Miller

♡ Dieter Bravo

♡ Javier Peña

♡ Frankie Morales

♡ Javi Gutierrez

Thank you to everyone who has read and supported my fics! I appreciate every single one of you so so much 💗

Big thank you to @gasolinerainbowpuddles for the header 🥺

[thebaffledcaptain]

Things that happened at the 250th anniversary of the British garrison at Fort Ticonderoga

as relayed by a humble fifer for His Majesty’s army, for his own records:

As if the unit needed any more musicians, we now have a fifth. We will not be sharing any with the rest of the British Brigade but you can bask in our glory and also our obnoxious fife practicing.

Speaking of which, we accidentally kind of adopted the 13-year-old drummer from the 24th. We joked about poaching from from his unit until we actually had to talk him out of it because he's not based in our area and, being 13, cannot drive himself to events that are fully in a different state.

At some point, however, he shows up in a bright yellow 26th regiment coat, having been temporarily poached to drum their musket demonstration anyway.

For some reason the Captain decided to entrust Music with kitchen duty this weekend, which seemed like a risky move at first given that we are essentially a bunch of overgrown teenagers who simultaneously overcooked the rice and undercooked the peas, but it ended up being pretty damn good apart from that. I cannot personally take credit for much as I was in the middle of Lake Champlain for the entirety of the time supper was being cooked.

We made a frankly ludicrous amount of boiled cabbage for dinner (lunch). No one was going to eat that much cabbage. The officers instructed us to dispose of it somehow.

Of course, we couldn't just let one person do it. All six of us had to go. Our 21-year-old acting fife major took this job very seriously.

"Cabbage Detail... to the front… march!”

The cabbage was rather inelegantly dumped into a pile on the edge of the woods. We gave it a soldier's funeral (saluted it and sang Roslin Castle badly).

Helped to load the bateau onto the cart to be put into the water. Little 24th drummer showed up in full regimental regalia because no one in his unit warned him the thing was covered in pine tar (which, I realized, has a rather pleasant smell that made the whole ordeal much more bearable). His white smallclothes did not make it out entirely unscathed.

Fellow Cheshire fifer and I immediately volunteered to be part of the boat crew. I had assumed the spots would go faster but perhaps most people don't want to spend half an hour bailing lake water out of a bateau.

Some guy at the marina was either high or drunk and heckled us for a solid 10 minutes as we loaded the thing into the water. I suppose it's not every day you see a bunch of 18th century soldiers get into a glorified canoe and start bailing within two minutes but still, you'd think that if something worked with consistent success for thousands of years even a guy with no sense of history would realize that's not going to change now.

Like, we were maybe 200 feet out and he was still going. He just could not fathom that we could get around the point and to the dock within the 25 minute estimate given to him by our boatmaster. But you know, in his defense, maybe it was 30 minutes and not 25...

Supper was quite good except that, with Music doing the cooking, we almost de-soldered a kettle by cooking a bunch of dill and potatoes in it without any water. Once again I was on the lake while this happened so this was not my fault.

I managed to lose my modern thumbpick for my mandolin at home somewhere along the line and didn’t realize until I got to the event. I used a horn button instead. I would not recommend it unless you have no other choice.

Small tavern night but nothing compared to the raving tavern we had at Dey Mansion. A bunch of boy scouts sleeping over with LED headlights were running around and kind of killing the vibe.

Next morning is rainy and dull. At least one fellow sleeps through reveille but in his defense he was feeling quite awful from a migraine, in period accurate style.

Also in period accurate style, the Captain shows up with two dozen Dunkin Donuts for the 22nd lads now that a fire isn't an option. That's how you know it's Sunday morning. Little 24 manages to snag two.

In his defense, I had two as well. The 13-year-old boy in me won. I figured I'd spent enough time on the two-person saw yesterday to earn it.

For some reason yesterday I decided to volunteer for gabion duty in the morning. Now it’s raining and I don’t know why I did that.

The gabion crew spends maybe 45 minutes complaining in the mud and the rain. There’s an assembly line going: a couple guys digging, a couple guys passing the buckets up, one guy dumping them and throwing them back down, and a Bucket Boy to catch them. Allegedly.

The banter is spectacular. Our only marine is nearly decapitated by a flying bucket. Little 24 shows up (in a DIFFERENT 26th coat) to be the Bucket Boy but our Bucket Boy sucks and keeps tossing the buckets in the wrong direction. The musicians threaten several people with the cat-o-nine. None of this is OSHA approved. There’s talk of unionizing. The cabbage is still in a pile at the edge of the woods.

At some point the artillery company marches out and we all collectively decide gabion duty is done despite being on duty for another hour or something. Ironically enough this was one of the more enjoyable and memorable parts of the event by virtue of it being so miserable. It was quite authentic.

Also really enjoyed the singular marine (with his head thankfully still intact after the gabions) at this event, who, when I asked if my brand new forage cap—rather large on my apparently rather small head—was still holding up after hauling mud around for 45 minutes, observed that the front was practically over my ear and very politely commented “it’s very rakish”

We all kind of shuffle around in the grass to get the mud off our shoes. In my own words, my ‘dashes are absolutely spattered. I am still repeating this phrase because it sounds like British slang for being really drunk or something.

I return to the barracks to hold some very warm hard boiled eggs in my very cold hands. Very effective, would recommend.

Not much going on apart from a few very dedicated visitors who braved the rain to make it to the event. We march out an hour early. My fellow fifer and I get to the car and make a beeline for the local Stewart’s for shakes to ease the post-reenactment depression.

All in all, a small but memorable event that, for me, really solidified the concept that Normal People don’t drive several hours to dress up in period clothing and do physical labor. I, however, am not Normal People, and had a great time.

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker. 

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat. 

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller. 

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo–” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?” 

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly. 

They must have been talking about her… But why? 

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him. 

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips... 

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!” 

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!” 

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!” 

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.” 

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said. 

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right. 

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. 

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled,  setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?” 

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question. 

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his… 

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl.  “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,”  Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room. 

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.” 

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her. 

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning. 

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention. 

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment. 

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships. 

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that. 

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing. 

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate. 

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature. 

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel. 

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.  

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience. 

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.” 

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation. 

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage. 

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve. 

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.” 

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her. 

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—”  tolerable, at the very least  “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely. 

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell. 

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them. 

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing. 

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last. 

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air. 

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin. 

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night. 

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.    

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark. 

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along. 

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…” 

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?” 

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.” 

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they? 

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?” 

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet. 

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something. 

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets. 

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

 “You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

[boonesfarmsangria]

Phil Sharp

All Points East 2025  will be welcoming The Maccabees for their first show in eight years on Sunday 24 August.

In 2017, The Maccabees said an emotional, euphoric goodbye with three sold-out nights at Alexandra Palace.

After a final performance of their breakout hit ‘Pelican’, they stood together on stage for the final time, waving back at a sea of adoring fans, all pouring their own goodbyes into the moment. It was an ending that has stayed with all who witnessed it, equal parts joyful and sad. At their creative, critical and commercial peak, they were leaving behind everything they had known in their adult lives. The end of crafting four increasingly accomplished and acclaimed albums, with each passing record reflecting the experiences of the fans who had grown up alongside them. The end of The Maccabees.

It was a farewell so resolutely final that each member threw themselves with full commitment into countless new endeavours: music, art, books, film scores, production, broadcasting and so much more. No matter how many times the question was asked in the years after, each member felt the same thing. It was the end. But not all goodbyes are necessarily forever. And so today comes the news that The Maccabees have reunited to headline All Points East in Victoria Park, London on August 24th 2025 – it also coincides with the 10-Year Anniversary of their final record together; the critically acclaimed, Number 1 album ‘Marks To Prove It’.

Not only will The Maccabees be Sunday night headliners – the bank holiday weekend being the perfect time for such a celebratory occasion – but they are also collaborating with All Points East to deliver an essential bill of artists that they love, both old and new.

The first small turning point on the road to All Points East can be charted back to guitarist and founding member Hugo White’s wedding in February 2020. He wanted to put together a covers band as part of the celebrations. Guest spots were divided out between an illustrious list of close friends and musical peers including Adele, Florence + The Machine and Jamie T. It was mooted that The Maccabees could maybe play ‘Pelican’ at the party to make it really special, but Hugo wasn’t entirely sure if singer Orlando Weeks would accept the invitation. They hadn’t all been together, on or off stage, since that last moment at Alexandra Palace.

For Orlando, it was about participating in a landmark life moment for his friend; as he puts it “I didn’t go because it was The Maccabees playing together again, but because it was a beautiful gesture to be invited and to contribute to the spirit of the day. What I wanted, band aside, was to find a way to be in each other’s lives in some way.’’

Having played almost every venue of every size in London as the band developed, the opportunity to headline the leading festival in the Capital in such good company, in the City they all grew up in, was eventually too good an opportunity to pass up.

Having immediately sold 30,000 tickets for their final Alexandra Palace shows shortly after its announcement, demand for tickets is expected to be huge. Fans who sign up to the mailing list at www.themaccabees.co.uk will gain access to a pre-sale which opens at 10am on Wednesday 30 October. Remaining tickets will then go on general sale from 10am on Thursday 31 October.

Felix White adds, on the pertinence of the show itself, “In the intervening years we’ve been to All Points East a lot, separately. It’s become a bit of a landmark festival for us, always checking who’s on the line-up. I’d go and have a great time throughout the day, but there was always this pinch of regret watching headliners that we could’ve done it ourselves one day too. I thought that moment had passed, and it was something I was prepared to come to terms with that I was always going to miss. I think we’re all kind of shocked and excited that we get to do it together again.”

Hugo White was inspired, in part, by watching The Strokes at last year’s All Points East: “I could see that they were enjoying it , realising how great what they had created together was. Being a band, you are usually in a mindset of, ‘We can do better’ and you’re always chasing something else. This is an opportunity to realise that whatever we had in that moment was pretty special and get to enjoy it again. It’s a chance to appreciate everything, and especially how it impacts other people and created a community.

[nice-bright-colors]

I’ve eaten dinner 3 nights in a row at BJ’s Brewhouse.

I’ve had their Tatonka Stout, PM Porter, Nutty Brewnette (bad spelling and all), their Jeremiah Red, and now tonight I finish off with…

BJ’s 24th Anniversary Grand Cru. A 10% Belgian Strong (so they say). It’s quite spicey and slightly fruity. Not exactly sour, but not far from it. I wouldn’t call it Belgian, but that’s just me.

I never realized that BJ’s has been around for 24 years.

Luckily, The Wife’s birthday is this weekend, and her friend from Chicago is coming in. So I get to go my favorite Belgian Ale place at home…and stay at The Westin a stones throw from my apartment.

Limited Edition glassware:

Sadly there isn’t enough room in my carry-on.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 24th September ✨

Happy Audio Drama Sunday, lovely listeners of audio drama. It must be coming in to spooky season because I’ve been getting my spook on this week! 👻

As always, spoilers!!!

🌲@hellofromthehallowoods (134) This episode has made me so excited for the hfth novels! If I’m not mistaken, there was reference to both Amaryllis and the LEM story! My heart felt so heavy listening to Friday try and save O’Connor, what an enigma that man is. I am ROOTING for Victoria, where is Yaretzi to help her shed this self-hate and embrace her sunlight?? 🥺 I also loved that Harrow and Victoria had a moment of power but let’s not forget that they are actual children, they left a friend behind in a burning building during that same moment … And OUGH Writing Desk! It’s so interesting to finally get a glimpse at his actual motives and how it may be too little too late!! 

📞 YAY @thespcpodcast is back!! I thought the premise of this episode was so interesting! Let the nice vampire do their good work! The exploration of how therapy needs has changed with time and how different age groups often seek different things was such an insightful bit of world-building. I’m so excited for more. 

🎞  Congratulations to Tiny Terrors on their release anniversary! I strongly suspect that it IS all connected and I can’t wait for more pieces of the puzzle! 

🤴 InCo (@itmeblog) Terraforming!! They’re terraforming!! And the late King said that the Galactic Union couldn’t have any tech they didn’t understand. Galaxy eyes = galaxy-brained. I didn’t think this story could get cooler!! 

🧛‍♂️ @re-dracula WHAT a week!!!! It’s SO good listening while knowing what happens next, it makes the mourning all the more bitter. This is what Van Helsing must have felt like. This week has also made me realise how much I’ve missed hearing Jonathan Sims absolutely killing a monologue. 

🥾@doyoucopypod (10) Mad respect to Frederick here, I would not have been as calm or as trusting if I stumbled into that situation. It seems like REDACTED is swimming in more guilt that was initially teased. WHO is SHE and why did redacted leave her behind???

🐬 @patterspod P Files #??? Man, this show is so funny. And SO weird. In the best way. Please listen to it. 

⛪️ I finished KILL FM! What a treat! I hope the teams involved in making this episode are really happy with what they’ve created - it’s so good!! 

🐟 New @kaneandfeels is always such a welcome delight!! Me: It’s Freaky Friday shit. Brutus: It’s Freaky Friday shit Me: 😲 The voice acting was so perfectly uncomfortable that when they were back in their own bodies, it almost felt like they were improvising - the chemistry was so immediately apparent. Also, the bit about the mars bars was so my brand of silly, it made me SO happy. 

I can’t wait for more Silt Verses and Moonbase Theta, Out next week! Hope you’ve all had a good weekend 🥰

[medleymisty]

Is anniversary yay!!!

Today is the 24th anniversary of our first date and Monday will be the 21st anniversary of getting married, so it's Anniversary Week!

We're getting packed and ready to go to Gatlinburg later today. We got married there in 2002, 21 years ago, when we were 21. So we're going back now 21 years later. :)

I hope you all have a great weekend, and remember that you are awesome and cool and good and of the most infinite worth!

[tgmsunmontue]

Bit of a quiet week from me due to real life kicking me around a bit.

Won't be doing a weekend 'what should I write' due to my 24th anniversary being tomorrow and also committing two months ago to tidying/cleaning/organising my craft room. I have a bit of a ridiculous to-do list this weekend, so writing is having to take a back seat.

(However my writing room is beautifully clean and tidy now and I am hanging out for next weekend and then my 5-day weekend at the end of the months to spend writing ALL FIVE DAYS!)

This weekend I do fully intend to post an update on the following two fics:

More than Movie Magic Once Upon a Time in 1996...

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend and gets to do something they want to do! (Like watching this GIF a few hundred times...)

[legends-expo]

Yesterday was the 24th release anniversary for the trade paperback of Mara Jade: By The Emperor's Hand! Are you bringing a copy to Legends Con next weekend for Michael Stackpole to sign?

Get your tickets now at: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/legends-consortium-2023-tickets-541786186067

[isolaradiale]

Hey everyone!

Just a reminder that tomorrow, July 21st, is the final day to claim your free anniversary unlock! As of 12:00:00AM on the 22nd, you won't be able to claim this unlock anymore!

We will be doing an inbox run tomorrow, so to be fair anyone accepted during tomorrow's run will have until 11:59:59PM on July 24th to claim this free unlock, however. Please just remember this extension is only for characters that will be accepted during tomorrow's inbox run!

Have a great weekend!

-- the island stars.

[misscammiedawn]

On trauma anniversaries

Personal (and a little oversharing) post but I thought I'd speak out, even if it's just an excuse to type to myself.

Original was written October 2023. It has been sitting in our drafts ever since then. 6/22/2024 Dawn edit - Given we eventually posted the suicidality draft, I thought I'd finally share this. Especially given how much my mind has been on the end of June 2022 this week, both the good and the bad.

12/26 Dawn edit- this was originally written just after our birthday and then left in drafts. It is posted now due to the December holiday passing with no attempted intrusion from our No Contact family.

Plus I am in the middle of creating a self-harm safety plan with my therapist and wanted to see what we typed last time we were fucked up to reference for this project.

This is all from my perspective and my advice may not be useful to all. My therapist always says "take what you need and leave what you don't" when reading mental health advice. I hope there are things that will help on your end.

I've been finding a lot of joy recently in trying to write educational resources when I'm feeling a certain way and I'm feeling a certain way right now.

To those who don't know a trauma anniversary is a recognized within PTSD treatment as a sensitivity to emotional reactions brought about by the annual reminder of a particularly traumatic memory. A widely understood one is 9/11 though birthdays, Thanksgiving and annual family holidays tend to come up in the conversations too.

I suppose there is a little "chicken or the egg" back and forth on if the anniversary reminds the individual, summoning the symptoms or the symptoms of the disorder provide the reminder. My reading has said that in traumatic situations our minds become keenly aware of the circumstances and build an aversion to the situation as a survival mechanism and even the smallest hints of familiarity can activate those defenses.

Either way it is commonly experienced enough to be considered a sensitivity when performing trauma therapy. It commonly manifests via nightmares, excessive moodiness or defensiveness, avoidant behavior, social withdrawal or to put more plainly an exacerbation of existing symptoms. Danger of relapse goes up during these periods.

I know that very well. I try really hard not to let my negative instincts take over when I get this way.

October 23rd and 24th are bad days for me. One is a birthday and the other is the anniversary of the day my marriage ended and subsequently started the chain reaction that made the family I built for myself in the USA outright tell me they do not consider me family any longer, something which I am still not even remotely over. Bio-Fam can reject me, that's fine... but when the Found Family reject you? How the fuck do you recover from that? How are you capable of rationalizing that in a way that does not hold all of the blame to your own throat?

Both days represent the act of willingly burning my entire life to the ground and letting the fires consume every relationship and piece of familiarity I had built in 2 previous lives.

A little hyperbolic but that's the impact and fuck I am devastated by guilt and regret for having done it and a terror that I will do it again someday.

Prior to this year's birthday I had even made a post where I joked about how I wasn't dreading it this year but as the weekend went on the emotions started to fade in and then The Reminders kicked in via emails and IMs saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY. The sources were as innocuous as companies with my details who email coupons or work colleagues or even loved ones and people who I do not want contact from.

I've learned one thing this year and that is "you can't ignore this shit". I was arrogant and thought my progress through therapy and my recent stability would usher me through without incident. I was wrong. Luckily my ability to communicate is better than it was so I was able to warn people and ask for reassurance and care from loved ones and have them tell me that I haven't hurt them and am not alienating them and they aren't upset with me.

So, here's my handy guide (from me and to me) for how to survive this shit for future.

Get Distracted

The best moments of my past 48 hours were when I was busy doing things. Work was useful for me. My girlfriend wanted to go on a shopping trip so I forced myself to get out of the house even when I was feeling like shit and wanted to scream and cry.

The shopping trip was more annoying than it was fun but the chore got me doing something and that got me out of my own head for a little. Sometimes having something to be annoyed about, even if it's a stress, is better than being left to fester.

Communicate

I fluctuated between "I don't want to be alone" and "I want to never speak to another human ever again" about 4 times a minute during the worst of it. I was upfront with everyone in my surroundings that my affect would be off and that it was temporary and fretting over me would stress me out more. Everyone was kind and sweet to me. Also everyone at home knows NEVER CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY and so getting full compliance from the people in my life helped a lot.

Limit Decision Making and Stress Intake

When work started piling on I started to get a pit in my stomach that created "we're going to get fired!" thoughts that spiraled rapidly. I almost lost my composure with the screen, with myself, with my girlfriend, with the cat over the stupidest things because no matter how much I wanted to admit it, my threshold was in the toilet and I couldn't control it or will myself out of it. This isn't just anger, it's any and all emotion in excess.

Likewise I felt completely incapable of making even minor decisions during this period. Ensuring I had meals planned in advance helped when I would rather starve myself than commit to even buying food.

Commune with the grief instead

We are all quilts patched from every person who has ever loved us. It's okay to accept that there are complicated emotions. Life cannot be as black and white as we force it to be in order to survive. Part of healing is communing with the pain in a way that neither outright rejects it nor fetishizes pain to the point of which you are intentionally triggering yourself. I found a lot of comfort in watching the shows/playing the games that people from before always wanted me to. It's like doing a little bit of finished business, getting to share something with the living memory. It doesn't change the past but it lets you feel a positive connection. It gives positive momentum when the old scars itch and you want to scratch them. Growth off of the scorched Earth without interacting with the past itself and allowing it to intrude on the present.

So whether I support my dad's football team, watch something with the knowledge that she would have loved it or finally see the inspiration for the character he tailor made to be your character's villain in TTRPG, see that game they always talked about liking; I like doing this as something I can DO with the emotional build-up that depends a reaction.

Be Grateful and Show Love To Those Who Stand By You

I have spoken to every partner today just thanking them for dealing with me while I'm like this. I'll talk to my therapist tomorrow. Guilt and paranoia are ruining me at the moment. Assuring people what I lucidly think and feel helps.

Be Open to the Idea That You May Be Wrong

Just... I can tell I'm off. I know I have warned people I am off. I may actually be off. Communicate and offer love and understanding and apologies if needed. It will pass.

It's healthy to understand that while you're compromised you may not be fully yourself. Tread with caution. Do not make impulsive decisions, ask for outside opinions when you need grounding. Allow yourself to not feel guilt when you act in ways you're not proud of.

Help Others

Gotta admit doing the shopping trip with local girlfriend and being love and care for long distance one helped get me out of my own head. I find this one is actually really useful for me and I should think about how I can do it more in the future.

It's extra energy and costs spoons when you're not doing great, but it's applying effort in a positive regard.

Forgive Yourself

If I know myself I will be reading this in a year's time. That's why this post exists after all.

Just... forgive yourself. For abandoning people. For running away. For being imperfect. For choosing to be a woman. For not fighting harder. For not being who everyone needed you to be.

Don't seek to rationalize, don't seek to minimize. Do not even seek to accept what you did.

Just forgive. We are okay. We hurt people and ourselves. We handled things poorly. We broke contracts of the heart and shatters dreams of the future.

But we're alive. We have a chance to be happy again. It's okay to be the villain in other stories. It's okay to not be a perfect victim.

Forgive yourself.

Find something to look forward to

There is always "the next event". Plan for it. Get out of the present and the past. The future is there and it is waiting for you.

It'll be okay. The danger has passed. This week will pass.

It will be okay.

[nade2308]

On Friday, we've had our third year anniversary of our Monte Walsh watch. This movie, that at first was just me needing to see Tom and George in something together, became something more as time went by. Something we are always going back to, at least once every month, a new tradition that has marked many milestones in our friendship, an no doubt will mark many more to come. A movie that has become a comfort movie, as well as an endless well of inspiration.

Saturday was National Day of the Cowboy, and this month's (and anniversary) watch fit perfectly into that.

And to think it all started as a talk on July 24th 2021. A thunderstorm and a weekend later, we had this. We still do.

@thethistlegirl

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I know I'm late but!! congrats on your engagement anniversary :D ✨

You're actually perfectly on time!!! My 2 week notice of the celebrations ended up being mistaken for a 1 week notice ^^' So it's next Wednesday the 24th when we have the engagement anniversary and my birthday (same day). We're on a weekend getaway this weekend to celebrate because a weekday is difficult for working people ^^'

Anyways! Thank you!! 🥰

[novaae]

actually feeling very guilty for having made content for only one day of bumi ii weekend bc my exams ended on the 22nd,,, 23rd was my grandparents anniversary and im busy on the 24th and 25th with birthday stuff,,, and the 26th is my actual birthday....

forgive me bumi ive failed you. actually i think nobodys made content for bumi ii weekend at all so yikes.