#the way you talk about relationships/friendships is honestly so sad and kinda pathetic

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[possessionisamyth]

I mean, is it bad that i went through the entirety of RE4make and bought in the whole knight/princess fairytale schtick but didn't pick on any feelings from Leon's side? Kinda sad for Ashley but i think the devs were being sly

Of course, if i went in depth about that, some would deem me for judge jury execution lmfao

Anon, I am saying this very nicely, but everyone in the RE tags are not your friends. Shared interest doesn't equal friendship. This isn't a website you can make money on, so focusing on engagement and post numbers is a null point.

That said, this means you can post whatever you want! You're not stuck to a theme or a fandom or how personal you get or anything!

Dropping something different/argumentative in a fandom tag isn't like you're on the announcement speaker in high school telling people off. If someone tries to annoy you or harass you, you can choose to engage them honestly and elaborate, ignore them, or you can block them. I've found sometimes when I do engage people honestly, they don't like my tone and block me. These are good things. Everyone is able to curate their experience, and honestly, if they don't want to talk to me about this stuff, then I probably wouldn't want to talk to THEM either.

All that stuff about people receiving a ton of anon hate for ships and opinions and shit? I haven't seen any of it. Why? Because I've been pretty vocal and annoying since I first got here, and those 2-3 people sending that stuff definitely have me blocked by now. The 10+ hater asks people get are always, without fail, just a couple people being annoying and wanting to frame themselves as an army. As you can see, there's no limit to how many asks you can send in one sitting. It's very classic 2014 tumblr behavior.

That said, I strongly recommend you and everyone else to be posting your opinions/interpretations in the tags. It not only keeps the tag from being swamped with half xreader fic I keep having to find new ways to block, but it'll encourage others (including me) to look at scenes and dynamics differently as we read. Different interpretations, even read in passing, do fuel and influence fandom as much as fanart and fanfic. The more opinions in the water, the more art people end up creating. Making people think, giving varying viewpoints on the same scenes/relationships, and organizing your own thoughts by putting them down on paper also lets you have more enjoyment of the story.

If people don't agree with or like what you write, they will either ignore your post or block you, but you're not looking for "Yes Men"! You're not going to get bullied either since anons make themselves look dumb as hell on this website all the damn time. You have the power to post or block as much as anyone else. Abuse it like me. The people you want to talk to will meet you at the level you're speaking at.

Plus, every anon who sends something always desperately checks the blog over and over to see if it's been posted. If for some reason you do get hate asks and quietly delete them, imagine how desperate they'll start acting. It'll be so sad and pathetic lol.

[stickynotestoletters]

May I request some more about those threesomes with Sal and Larry mentioned in your last SF post, bestie? Because I'm living for it.

of course bestie 😫🖐

Keep in mind I do like SalLarry a lot so if I say that they don’t “match up” It’s 'cause you’re in this universe which changes the relationship dynamic a lot, think of the Butterfly effect

og hcs here

Warnings: NSFW, top larry, switch sal, kinda turns into a poly dynamic a bit I’ll probably write a poly dynamic like that officially later

SalLarry x GN (Masc Body) Reader

I’m gonna start this off with Sal and Larry before

they had a great friendship even with them being fuckbuddies sometimes 

it just wouldn’t have worked out with this dynamic preference

Sal was always bottoming and even if he likes it more than topping he still wants to top sometimes

so he tries to convince Larry to let him top and Larry’s like “k, I mean, I’ll try it”

And so they prepped him up and it was okay but then Sal put it in and Larry just started to laugh-cry because it felt so weird

So the dynamic stayed

Then you came along and so Larry and Sal stopped for a while

They were both chill with it

fast forward to after senior year in the college house once you moved in with Sal

Where one night Larry came over with Sal to the house really drunk

I mean they were absolutely pounded by the time they got there

And they were horny as fuck

So they asked if you’d be down to fuck them both

And obviously, you fucking agreed

I mean you and Sal talk about it later because how could you not, but if Sal is proposing the idea you’re not saying no

Sal is possessive about you sometimes but Larry’s his best friend

So they lay you down on the bed and prep you

Sal’s different from how he usually is and it is not just cause of the alcohol

you realize he’s in one of his dominant moods

And not only is this exciting just because he never really feels like this in general it’s exciting because Larry’s here and he’s just as dominant as Sal is

So they end up taking you to pound town and you don’t end up stopping until the sun rises that morning

Sal was so different that day you agree to more threesomes just to feel him go that hard

Sal is a gentleman in bed whenever he can be with you

but something just happened that night and you wanna see it again

not to say Larry was bad, if anything he was one of the best you’ve had, besides Sal of course

Sal is almost always topping whenever your threesomes do become a regular occurrence

But when he does bottom, he’s letting you ride him while he’s taking Larry’s cock

Whenever Larry is the one fucking you, he’s so rough with it

 just not caring about if you get pleasure or not but how could you not with how good he’s hitting your prostate???

He’s going so fucking hard it’s making you cry

They like to put you in the middle, getting fucked so hard by Larry and hearing Sal, so fucked out, moaning about your cock

Larry, you’ve found, really likes to leave hickies

especially on your shoulders

he likes thigh fucking Sal sometimes and leaving hickies on his thighs as well

Larry prefers Doggystyle as well, it’s just so easy to pull Sal’s and your hips back onto his 

Larry doesn’t have the strongest libido but he’s strong regardless

like really strong

he’s just a naturally buff guy! And when he starts working out to help around with Lisa more god is he buff

sometimes, if you’re tired you agree to let them fuck

and the first time they did that you were in the room, just cause it doesn’t really bother you to hear people fucking it out

Also, cause you enjoy looking at Sal getting the fucking of his life

And you glance over so casually just in enough time to see Larry slamming Sal up against the wall, holds his legs up all the way to his chest at the juncture of his knees, and fucks him so fucking fast and hard

Sal’s crying out so much

gasping so pathetically and holding Larry by the neck, pulling his hair

So pathetic and so pretty for him

Larry’s saying all this dirty shit to him and Larry’s probably the best dirty talker you’ve ever heard

“God, pathetic little puppy, so good taking my cock” 

“That’s all your pretty little hole’s good for huh? Fucking?” 

And Sal’s crying out and you’re sitting there watching Larry’s arms flex and so you put down your homework cause that can wait

right now all you’re thinking about is getting fucked like Sal

So Larry ends up fucking both of you so well that day

Although you were responsible enough to be able to finish your homework anyway it was a lot

When Sal brings up kinks, cause although the sex is amazing he just feels like it could be just that little push more

Larry’s really into seeing you and Sal dress up for him

Not roleplay per se but just you in a cute little maid outfit and Sal fucking you is just so hot to him

Larry also likes creampies 

It’s just really hot to him and honestly, anything with cum is hot

He enjoys ropes and gags and most of the other kinks you propose but Larry’s a simple man

He’s good with everything except hurting you guys

He can get into degradation and all that but actually hurting you guys would not be his thing

The mornings after used to be really sad

Larry would feel bad like he was imposing on you two or something

So he would leave once the two of you fell asleep to go sleep in his own bed

He’d tried to act like it didn’t happen cause he felt like you two would be weird about it or get freaked out

despite how he looks he’s a sensitive guy

So you and Sal talk about it

You’re both fine with including him in your dynamic, but it really depends

So the night after you two invite him for a threesome and when he gets up to leave you two pull him back into the bed

You talk about it there

Larry says he loves the threesomes ”Who wouldn’t? haha” He just feels like he’s imposing and doesn’t really wanna get involved with something romantic at the time because he’s not ready

He’s still figuring himself out with life in general and all that so he’s not ready for something romantic with anybody, especially with his two best friends

You all come to agree that it’s not going to be an official thing unless Larry feels like it should be, you already love each other so you don’t want to mess up your friendship with this

So you spoil Larry, make him feel welcomed and included

And he does the same in return

At one point Larry tells you two he just can’t have romantic feelings for you two and you’re both okay with that

So, once Larry feels ready, he ends up getting a cute s/o and moving out

Sometimes you still have threesomes/foursomes

but it’s all smooth sailing from there

Okay, so this did end up with really implied poly dynamics at the end so I think I’ll make a different one where you all do end up together. But for now, I’m gonna clarify, the whole time you guys were fucking none of you had romantic relationships with each other (except you and Sal) so Larry just felt like he was imposing or y’all were taking pity or whatever so you guys just tried to conveyed that he was welcome. It wasn’t because of some stupid anxiety he had it was because you two genuinely enjoyed having him there.

 Anyway just request and I’ll be happy to write!

-Laika

[generallypo]

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh. 

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anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding! 

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes.. 

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way. 

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ. 

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically. 

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that. 

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you. 

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him. 

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]] 

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself. 

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise. 

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines. 

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios  and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out.  i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah. 

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

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and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Ranking Brotherhood of Evil Mutant members (including all interations) from your, most to least favorite and please expound why. I do like asking for opinions.

Hmmm....there have been several iterations of the Brotherhood, and I’m not very familiar with some of the later versions, so I’m just gonna go with the earlier versions that I know.  Bear in mind, this is entirely subjective, and I like most of these characters, so a character being lower down doesn’t mean I hate them.  Going from favorite to least favorite:  

Pyro:

Anyone following this blog has probably noticed I love this dude.  I’m not exactly subtle about it.  I think he’s interesting and fun, as villains go.  He’s snarky and cocky, and actually rather friendly when he’s not trying to kill you - very Affable Evil.  He’s not necessarily a very good person - he’s self-interested, and can be rather vicious, but he’s a character that I thought could potentially come over to the good side.  He seemed, at times, to get into the whole “Freedom Force” thing, and clearly enjoyed saving people alongside Longshot.  He seems to bond a great deal with his team-mates - Mystique, Avalanche, even Stonewall (although he was a dick to him and Commando when they first joined).  He even pals around with Blob, even though he also snarks at him sometimes.  In AOA, Pyro was the only one helping and being protective of Phantazia.  And now in Marauders he refers to them as his “friends,” and is perfectly happy traveling around with people that used to kick his ass, even appearing impressed with them (especially Storm), and being a surprisingly good team player.  I don’t think Pyro would necessarily become a good guy for altruistic purposes, but I think he enjoys having “adventures” and getting attention and hanging out with his team-mates.  I think if Pyro was on an X-Team, and was made to feel welcome, he’d probably be content to fight alongside them and follow the rules (which is basically what he’s doing right now with the Marauders), and maybe some of his team-mates’ virtues would rub off on him a bit.  (There was apparently a version of X-Factor pitched to Marvel years ago that included Pyro on the team, and I’m disappointed that never happened, although I loved the X-Factor that we got.)  And of course, there was also Pyro’s somewhat redemptive death, where he came to regret his past actions with the Brotherhood and wound up sacrificing his life to save Senator Kelly (fat lot of good it did, since Kelly got assassinated shortly after, but hey, he tried!) 

Along with all of that, I am also really intrigued by Pyro’s back story of being a romance author and journalist.  There’s the whole dichotomy of a guy who callously burns people to death and also writes gothic romance novels in his spare time.  And honestly, it sounds like he’s lived a really interesting life before the Brotherhood - traveling all around South East Asia, working as a journalist covering Indonesia and Vietnam (I’d assume he speaks at least a little bit of Indonesian and Vietnamese to be able to live there and cover news).  His motives for joining the Brotherhood have never been established, and I’m dying to know more about how he met Mystique, and why he decided to leave what was apparently a successful career and probably fairly comfortable life to go be an international terrorist.  Was it money?  A promise of adventure?  Did he really believe in Magneto’s cause?  Was he already getting into criminal activity before he joined the Brotherhood?  There’s a lot of potential for development there, but unfortunately most writers (except Claremont) tend to completely ignore all of Pyro’s backstory.  I’m still hoping that Duggan at least makes some reference to it, even just a throwaway comment about how Pyro used to write novels.

TL,DR: I like Pyro because he’s fun and clever, he makes friends with his team-mates, and he’s a writer. 

Toad:

Toad is a really intriguing character, but mostly I like him because he’s actually got a lot of potential, but he’s had a shit life and can never seem to catch a break.  In the earliest issues, he was just Magneto’s abused lackey, and appeared quite sniveling and pathetic, but later on it was revealed that he’s actually quite intelligent (and good with machines), he just appeared “stupid” due to all the abuse he suffered during childhood.  Toad also has a lot of interesting powers - writers seem to give him a new one every other appearance.  His stamina, agility, and super-strong legs could actually make him a pretty good fighter if he got proper training.  Plus he’s got the prehensile tongue, pheromone secretion, acidic saliva, secretion of a paralytic resin, mind control over frogs - his Marvel bio is a long, long list of secondary powers.  Toad could be quite formidable if he actually got his shit together, and there are AU’s (like House of M and Age of Apocalypse) where we see a much more stable, competent, intelligent Toad who is living up to his potential.  But 616 Toad remains a joke,  He’s either a low-level bad guy (they tried to level him up in the 90′s by making him the leader of the Brotherhood, but it didn’t last) or a pathetic sad-sack used for humor, or both.  His attempt to “join” the X-Men led to him being the janitor and basically getting treated like shit (he literally had no bed?) then getting kicked out when he follow Husk to the Hellfire Academy, even though he did that largely out of concern for Husk, and actually helped her and Quentin escape.

Basically, Toad has been subjected to horrible abuse pretty much his entire life, he has a mutation that makes him appear “ugly”, and everyone treats him with, at best, pity, and at worst, hatred and disgust.  I’ll admit, he’s had a few chances to better his life that have fallen through because of his own bad choices (and he’s done some horrible things, especially when he was leading the Brotherhood in the 90′s), but most of the time he’s just getting continuously kicked while he’s down.  To a certain extent, it’s really a matter of comic writers not being willing to take Toad seriously - he’s considered a joke villain, and therefore gets written that way, because he’s there as an accessory in someone else’s story.  At least the Toad/Husk storyline seemed to focus some on Toad himself as a character, even if it ended badly for him.  Sometimes, I kinda think Toad is written as evil or pathetic so that writers can justify other characters being shitty towards him.  Like, Magneto’s early treatment of Toad was absolutely, inexcusably horrible.  Magneto treated everyone in the Brotherhood badly, including his own children, but it seemed like Toad caught the worst of it.  Pietro and Wanda were also disgusted by Toad, although they had good reason, since his affection towards Wanda was pretty creepy.  Later on, Magneto was revamped into more of a noble, morally grey character, and his past abuse of Toad was mostly forgotten.  I don’t think the writers are necessarily doing this on purpose, but it kind feels like Toad remaining a pathetic bad guy was partially a way to excuse Magneto’s poor treatment of him, since Magneto was being reinvented as a more likable character.  And not just Magneto, but just about everyone who finds Toad disgusting or cracks jokes about how gross he is – it’s okay, Toad is awful so it’s totally fine to have the physically attractive good guys mock him and treat him like garbage.  (Hell, the artists can’t even decide what Toad’s physical appearance should be.  Is he skinny?  Fat?  Does he have green skin?  Is his nose ridiculously long or closer to normal?  Who knows what we’ll get in each issue.  And God forbid he be drawn without his tongue lolling out of his mouth.)

Also, I think that a lot of Toad’s worst personality flaws are at least partially due to the abuse he suffered.  To be clear, I’m not justifying the things that Toad has done. He set up death traps for people who wronged him, murdered Sauron’s girlfriend, and stalked and attacked Wanda multiple times.  That’s pretty shitty of him!  But I also think the abuse had a huge effect on Toad and how he interacts with people. Like, his tendency to obsessively latch onto people, and act like a sniveling lackey – the dude has had pretty much no love his entire life, and he’s always been treated like garbage.  Of course he has no self-esteem, of course he’ll fawn over anyone that shows him affection.  He’s been raised to believe that he is garbage.  Even his tendency to gloat over others being punished, and his whole “I’ll tell Magneto, and you’ll get in trouble!” thing is an understandable survival mechanism – other people getting in trouble means that he’s not the target, for once.  Obviously I can’t condone Toad trying to murder people that wronged him, but his anger and resentment is also understandable after the poor treatment he’s suffered.  In fact, I think it’s actually healthier for him to be angry than to think that he deserves it.  And a lot of the shitty things he did as Brotherhood leader also felt like him desperately wanting to be taken seriously, to be respected – also not a bad thing to want, even if his actions were terrible.  Basically, Toad has a lot of personality flaws, and he’s also had a lot of experiences that created or exacerbated those personality flaws.  The guy needs serious, long-term therapy, and I think he could become a better (or at least more competent) person if he got the help that he so obviously needs.

TL, DR: Basically, Toad deserves better.

Avalanche:

I have to admit, a lot of my love for Avalanche is all about his relationship with Pyro, be it friendship or something more.  (It’s something more in my headcanons, I will forever ship them.)  But he’s also a character that we don’t know much about, in part because he tends to talk a lot less than a certain chatty Australian.  He seems, more than anything, to be a practical-minded punch-clock villain, who is mostly in it for the money.  He doesn’t seem to enjoy putting on a show and reveling in his powers like Pyro, and he doesn’t seem to have the same mean streak that can be seen in Blob (and Pyro, to be fair).  I’m sure there are probably instances of Avalanche being dickish and cruel, but in a lot of his appearances that I’ve read, he seems very practical.  Do the job, get paid.  He also seems fairly content to be a follower or a lackey – happy to take orders from Mystique, or even follow Pyro’s lead when Mystique isn’t around.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own ideas or opinions, but he doesn’t particularly feel the need to be a leader.  Like Pyro, we also don’t know much about his past before the Brotherhood, except that he was married at some point.  Where’s his wife now?  Why didn’t it work out?  Was it because of him being a mutant, or was it his activities with the Brotherhood that drove them apart?  Does he still love her?  Why did he join the Brotherhood in the first place?  

Avalanche also seems to care somewhat about his team-mates, although he’s not as openly friendly as Pyro.  During Freedom Force’s disastrous last mission, he made the difficult call to abandon Pyro and Blob to save Commando, something that he was clearly broken up about.  And of course, he was willing to go on a mission in the Savage Land with Pyro to get a Legacy Virus cure (that unfortunately didn’t actual exist).  Avalanche is selective about who he cares about, but he still shows that he cares through his actions.  I don’t want to make this all about Pyro, but I really love their relationship.  The stoic, quiet guy/chatty energetic guy dynamic is great.  They just love being bros and committing crimes together, and they are quick to work together and back each other up, even in their earliest appearances.  I would totally read a min-series focusing on the early days of Mystique’s brotherhood, especially if it gave us some good Avalanche, Pyro and Blob development, and didn’t just center around Rogue and Mystique (both fantastic characters, but they’ve both got a lot of attention directed at them already.)

Also, Avalanche likes to garden, which is nice. And at one point he just got fed-up with everything and tried to retire and become a bartender, which is very relatable.  Unfortunately Red Skull murdered him after that.  Sorry, Avalanche.  I hope you are resurrected on Krakoa, living your best life.

Blob:

Another character who is often not taken seriously. Blob is mean-spirited, crass, and often self-interested, much like the rest of the Brotherhood members.  He also was extremely close to Unus, and clearly devastated when Unus’s powers went out of control and killed him.  Blob is one of those characters where I think his physical appearance has led to him being designated as a bad guy by the writers – he’s big and gross, so, just like Toad, he’ll be portrayed as a bad person in order to justify the good guys being terrible to him.  (Yes, I know there are “ugly” good guys, but let’s face it, they are rare.  Most of the good guys look like models.)  Blob also, like Toad, gets a lot of crap for his physical appearance, something that is literally part of his mutation.  I think some of Blob’s nastiness is definitely a defense mechanism, lashing out at others because he is used to being attacked.  It also seems like Blob is really lacking in close friendships, like what Mystique and Destiny or Pyro and Avalanche have (“friendship”).  He was really the odd man out in Mystique’s brotherhood.  He’s willing to pal around with various Brotherhood members, including Avalanche and Pyro when they’re not picking fights with each other, but he doesn’t seem to have a best buddy after Unus’s death.  I kind of admire Blob’s toughness.  It would be easy for him to completely lose his self-esteem, like Toad, but he stands up for himself and never grovels to others.  He is frequently insulted for his mutation, but he also seems comfortable in his own skin, which is good.  He shouldn’t have to feel bad about his own body.    

There was an AU story that showed a softer, more thoughtful Blob who wound up in a relationship with Psylocke, so we know he’s capable of showing a better side of himself.  To some extent, I like Blob’s crass, take-no-shit personatliy, but I’d also like to see writers give him more depth.  I’d especially like to see him reunite with Unus on Krakoa, and the two of them hanging out enjoying each other’s company.  I’m also enjoying the cameos we get of bartender Blob on Krakoa, I hope he is also living his best life.  

Phantazia:

Honestly, I mostly just want to know more about her. All we really know is that she has a PhD (in some kind of scientific field, I think….she is reading a book on astrophysics in one comic), and she was willing to join Toad’s Brotherhood (and she was also the only Brotherhood member that received an invitation from Exodus to Asteroid M). Why?  What was her life before that?  Who knows? Most of the time, she seems rather cold, and a bit distant from her team-mates (but I can’t entirely blame her, the Brotherhood is a rough crowd.  It’s hard to be the new team-mate, and probably especially hard to be the only woman.)  She did seem concerned about Pyro when he was suffering from the Legacy Virus, but she kind of dropped out of sight when the Brotherhood disbanded.   She seems like she was mostly in it for personal gain, especially since Toad’s Brotherhood was more about petty crime than mutant rights.  Apparently she was deeply affected by Wanda’s reality alterations, which took a toll on her mental health, and was last seen in a SHIELD holding cell.  I hope she pops up again on Krakoa.  

Rogue:

The only reason Rogue is so low on the list is that I sometimes forget she was ever a Brotherhood member, and because I like to focus more on lesser known characters.  But I really like Rogue!  She’s tough but sweet, and an incredible badass.  Leaving the Brotherhood for the X-Men meant walking away from her team and foster-mother(s), but she still did it, and became one of the X-Men’s most dependable and valued members.  I love Rogue’s past, her relationship with Mystique, her relationship with Gambit.  I love how she doesn’t take shit, but she also doesn’t go around acting like a jerk, like some of the “tough” characters.  (Wolverine, basically.)  I like the complexity of her struggles with her powers, and her knowing that her strongest abilities, like strength and flight, were basically “stolen” from someone else. I feel like I should say more, but Rogue is very popular and has had loads written about her already.  Rogue is cool, and she deserves the best!  

Mystique:

A truly fascinating character.  She’s also lower on the list because she is fairly well-known and popular, and also because she can absolutely be a manipulative piece of shit, willing to throw everyone except Destiny under the bus.  Yet, at the same time, we see her appear to genuinely care about people, like Rogue, Nightcrawler (after the unfortunate “toss baby off a cliff” incident), Destiny, even Pyro occasionally (she has a nice moment with him on Muir Island, and also calls him “friend” in X-Factor).  She’s a character who can never be entirely trusted, which is a large part of what makes her interesting.  I think she truly does care about a few, select people.  Hell, there’s an early issue in which Mystique fights a bunch of robots programmed to look and act like the X-Men (courtesy of Arcade), and she completely breaks down after having to “kill” the Rogue robot, then hesitates to attack the Nightcrawler bot.  I think Mystique can also be extremely callous, cold and manipulative, but I don’t think she is completely evil, just very self-interested, like a lot of villains. Also, she’s probably seen and experienced a lot of shit over her long life that contributed to that callousness (I figure if I’m gonna cut Toad and Blob some slack, I should do the same for Mystique.)  I do wish she would stop committing rape by deception in stories (meaning sleeping with someone while disguised as someone else).  It’s something that gets glossed over, even though fandom generally despises rapist male villains (and rightfully so), but Mystique pretending to be Blink and sleeping with Mimic is barely a story blip.  

Mystique is also interesting just because she’s such a badass.  She’s cunning, a good leader, a good strategist, excellent spy, good at hand-to-hand combat (she only loses to Arcade’s X-Men robots because she hesitates). She is damn formidable!  She’s also lived a varied and interesting life. There’s a reason she’s gotten so much exposure in comics.  I can also understand her being short-tempered while leading the Brotherhood, as she has to deal with the three stooges of Pyro, Avalanche and Blob.  Then things get even more complicated during the Freedom Force days.  Mystique has a lot of shit to deal with keeping those idiots in line.  Her relationship with Destiny is probably my favorite thing about Mystique, they are beautiful wives, and I hope she gets Destiny resurrected so the two of them can live happily together on Krakoa.  (Unlikely.)  

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch:

I don’t have much to say about these two, even though I like them. I’m starting to run out of steam in terms of character analysis, and I tend to think of them more as Avengers than Brotherhood members.  They both deserve better.  Also, they are mutants and Magneto is their dad. Retcon?  What retcon?

Destiny:

I don’t have much to say about Destiny because she is very mysterious – always working according to some plan that only she knows. So it’s hard to really know her as a character.  She seems like a very intelligent and calm woman.  She’s always chilling while the Brotherhood guys are freaking out or picking fights with each other.  She also faced her own death bravely and willingly.  She seems to have a good sense of humor.  One of my favorite stories is Mystique disposing of Destiny’s ashes after her death.  She is throwing them off a boat at a specific time and place, according to Destiny’s instructions – and the wind blows them back into her face.  Obviously Destiny planned it as a last prank, and I have to like a character who sets that up.  Also, one time she let a rock wall collapse on Avalanche and Spiral because she knew they wouldn’t be seriously hurt, and she hated Spiral and wanted to enjoy her humiliation.  That’s some impressive pettiness.  Destiny is cool, and I hope she comes back.

Sauron:

I don’t really care about him at all.  

Mastermind:

Seems like a real creep, especially with his manipulation of Jean Grey/Phoenix in the Dark Phoenix saga.  At least he apologized to her at his death.  Also, he’s got three daughters, the dude gets around. Regan, Martinique, and Pixie (WTF?! I just read that in his bio.)  I am really confused by there being two Mastermind daughters with the same powers, but apparently it was actually a mix-up between two writers.  Oops!  

That’s all.  I know there have been later Brotherhood iterations with other members, including one or both Lady Masterminds, but that was during a time when I wasn’t reading much X-Men, so I’m not familiar with most of those characters. I might have more to say if I eventually read some of the later Brotherhood stories.  

[thatlittledandere]

hyperfixation ask: ✨💞

You didn't specify but I'm gonna assume you wanna hear about P4 so here goes lmao

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

Uhhghh... I honestly don't know? God that sounds bad, I mean I haven't really... rationalized it yet? Obviously the characters and their relationships are top notch. And the whole idea of a shadow is fascinating, the way P4 goes about it. But unlike with eg Boueibu, I can't name a clear single aspect that draws me to it;;

💕 Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

For the love of God I can't talk about Yosuke. Is this the time to struggle through the incredibly specific chain of events and emotions that lead to my weird relationship to Adachi in literary form? Yeah I guess it is. Warning for major Persona 4 spoilers.

So first of all you gotta know that 1. I'm a terrible judge of character, 2. I tend to think everyone is good until proven otherwise and desperately believe in the goodness of people, and 3. I have the capacity to forgive too easily and in wrong situations. I know this starts out terribly.

But like... I liked Adachi from the beginning. He seemed kinda pitiful and incompetent, but sympathetic. I can see the pessimism and indifference that was always there in retrospect, but referring back to point 1, I couldn’t the first time around. On surface, he was the softer and friendlier counterpart to Dojima's tough and untrusting attitude. A pleasant guy, fun to be around. Terrible at thinking his words through before speaking though, and constantly​ chastised for it, I felt bad for him. And I couldn't completely drop the feeling after being spoiled way too early on (shame on me for not staying away from fanfics). I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't trust him or think too highly of the guy I knew to be the murderer I was after, but... Referring back to points 2 and 3, the positive first impression was too strong and I couldn't just discard it at the drop of a hat.

But the Investigation Team could. And it baffled me. Big time. The way I understood it (I may be wrong), they had also more or less liked or trusted Adachi. Then they figured out he was behind everything, and all sympathy and attachment was out the window immediately. And I guess it made perfect sense and was even the right thing to do, but idk. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I wasn't able to let go that quickly.

I grinded through Adachi's dungeon and the True Ending right before leaving for the winter break and pondered Adachi on the bus on my way to my parents' place. And primarily... I was sad. I know it's weird, but I was just so very SAD over it all. Not the obvious things; I didn't feel betrayed by Adachi because I already knew, I obviously wasn't displeased that he got apprehended, I can't say I sympathized with his motivations much. But the fact that the IT jumped straight into the "he's an unforgivable killer" mindset from the "he's kinda pathetic but harmless" mindset SO EASILY... So seamlessly, so effortlessly, like they'd never had anything personal to do with him at all? Couldn't be me, good for them.

I already thought that Yosuke has a lot in common with Adachi. Boredom, wish to be Something, feeling of being under- or unappreciated, mistreatment, all of this leading to resentment. Yosuke could, and I believe WOULD, have turned out like Adachi if he hadn't gotten that support network and positive human connections when he did. Then I watched a video essay on Adachi and it dawned on me that huh, it does go both ways. It's a cliche but love and friendship ARE the strongest might in the world. It's something Adachi never really had, and combined with some of his pre-existing ideals and experiences it lead to where it did... So ok, now I felt bad for Adachi again :/ I hope nobody cancels me for murder apologism or something.

And ok. Now we've established I have an emotional investment in Adachi and whatever went down with or surrounding him. An emotion is an emotion, whichever emotion it is, and... That's all it takes for a character to make an impression. So that happened. I can't honestly say I like Adachi as a person and I'm not even sure if I like him as a character. But he is fascinating, and I did go through some strange mental hoops to get where I am today, wherever that is, and the only way I know how to deal with it is to go "hurr durr adachi second favorite".

media hyperfixation ask game

[chwetuan]

+ the one where you and yugyeom are kinda in love with each other, alternatively titled: 15 years

Yugyeom stands before you, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, hands shoved deep (well, as deep as they could go) into the pocket of his skintight jeans.

You’ve known him since you were 12, and each year since, he’s found a way to become a different pain in your ass.

“Well, we’re not not dating.”

“What the fuck does that mean?��

He shrugs, leaning over your shoulder and gesturing to a drink in the refrigerator.

The corner store is empty on weekdays. There’s no one else but the cashier and security guard, who sit together at the register sharing a bag of chips and watching cartoons.

An odd pairing, indeed.

If you were someplace bigger, some place less blackhole-y and boxed-in, maybe the security guard would stand outside the door, and the poor cashier wouldn’t look bored out of his mind. Perhaps the store would be buzzing with life, with people, with children and couples, teenagers and old people.

Instead, it’s just you and Yugyeom, like it is on most evening.

You’ve outgrown your little town.

Sighing, you grab the juice out of the fridge, handing it to him.

“We made a pact, remember?”

“Yugyeom. We were thirteen. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.”

“I’m just saying, our birthdays are right around the corner and last time I checked, neither of us have rings on our fingers or people in our beds.”

“You want me in your bed?”

“No, I would just like to reap the tax benefits you come with. And you’re honestly not that bad of a cook.”

“I hate you, a little.”

He sighs.

“Look, all I’m saying is that we should probably start dating.”

“Are you drunk?”

He rolls his eyes and takes the shopping basket from you.

“This is the most confusing conversation I’ve had with you throughout the course of our friendship.”

You don’t know what he’s on about, but you’re slowly piecing the puzzle together.

“It’s not that confusing, if you really think about it.”

You grunt in response, making your way to the register with him following behind you.

The cashier pauses the video in his phone while he scans your items.

“Hey, do we look like we’re dating?”

He’s caught off-guard, furrowing his eyebrows and nudging his glasses. He opens his mouth to answer, but before he can, the security guard is speaking.

“Yeah.”

The cashier sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “I mean, yeah, I thought you were.”

You groan and Yugyeom pays for the drinks and snacks.

Bidding goodnight to them, you begin your walk home, plastic bag in hand and music coming from Yugyeom’s phone.

“Just say you need a fake date and be done with it.”

He looks suspicious. “How do you know I need a fake date?”

“You’ve been my best friend since middle school and you think I can’t read you?” 

He scoffs but doesn’t respond.

“Well, do you need a fake date?”

Clearing his throat and pausing the music, he answers. “You’re not wrong.”

“For what?”

“My dad’s wedding.”

“He invited you?”

A sad smile appears on his lips. “You don’t need to act like you don’t know.”

“Sorry. Yerim told me.”

“I know she did.”

Silence falls upon you as you make your way to the steps of Yugyeom’s front porch, sitting down side by side and watching the stars twinkle in the sky.

“I know it’s stupid... To be this upset over something from so long ago. But none of it feels fair.”

He leans back on his palms, and in moments like these, you know it’s best to keep quiet.

“He tore the foundation from under our family, left my mom and I struggling with Yerim, left us with $10,000 and a pathetic excuse of an apology note. 15 years.” He scoffs, sipping from his soda and shaking his head. “And he builds this beautiful life for himself. Takes vacations every summer and mingles with his snobby friends. And he doesn’t think of us, not even once in those 15 years.”

His cheeks are flushed red, and you can feel the frustration seeping through his tone.

Because, it wasn’t just 15 years.

It was 15 years of hearing his mother cry. 15 years of hungry, sleepless nights. 15 christmases and 15 birthdays.

“And I don’t know, he calls me talking about how he wants this new beginning for our relationship. How he wants to see me and know all about me and you know? It stings. Because I feel like I haven’t done shit. I work at the airport and watch people like him fly out on private jets to places I’ll never get to see. And maybe, it’s still stupid, because besides my sister and my mom, you’re the only good thing in my life. I just want to shove it in his face, and tell him that yes, this is what happens when you stick around for 15 years. You meet beautiful people with beautiful hearts who fucking give a damn about you. And they don’t pick up and leave.”

“I’ll go with you. There’s no need for your angsty monologue.”

He rolls his eyes. But your heart beats in your chest, heavy and fast with the weight of his words.

You gesture him closer, turning to whisper.

“I’m only going to say this once.”

He nods.

“You’re the best thing in my life, period.”

He smiles — not the sad one from earlier, but a genuine one. The one that forces you to confront the butterflies in your stomach and the flutter of your heart.

“And your dad’s an asshole. And I know you don’t like it, but your airport job is kinda cool and you look hot in the uniform.”

“You think that catastrophe is hot?”

“I just think there’s a vibe to the whole thing,” You pause, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into your mouth. “You know?”

“You’re so incredibly graceful.”

You nod, and through a mouth full of hot Cheetos, you continue. “Anyways, I just think you’re kinda hot in the uniform. That’s all.”

“I hate you, a little.”

He doesn’t. Neither do you.

It’s quite the opposite, actually.

.

.

.

[shawnstoriesx]

Bear Pt 5

“What happened last night?” YN asked weakly, gripping the shirt in her hand. Her mind was racing and the fact that she couldn’t remember anything that happened after leaving the club was giving YN a massive headache.

Brad flashed her a confused look. “What do you mean? Some dude grabbed you at the clu-“

“No, after that. When you took me home. I can’t remember anything after leaving Valda.”

“Damn.” Brad was silent for a moment as he tried to remember the events of the night before. “So...I drove you home and Shawn was waiting outside your front door for us.”

What? How was that possible? YN definitely remembers seeing Shawn walk back towards Alexa as she was leaving the club.

Brad shared these same thoughts. “I don’t know how he got there before us though. I must have driven really slowly or he drove really fast and left right after we did.”

She slowly nodded, urging Brad to continue with the story.

“So I helped walk you inside and was gonna bring you to bed but then Shawn started yelling at me about how you had to do your bedtime routine or something like that and that you’d be upset if you skipped it. So he kinda just...did it for you.”

YN smiled to herself. It was true. She was very particular about her nighttime routine and always had to brush her teeth and had a whole skincare regimen that she liked to do. It was definitely not a simple routine but Shawn had memorized it after countless late nights together and it was bittersweet thinking of the times the two friends used to share...before Alexa.

Her fist clenched around the shirt as she thought of Alexa. O wait the shirt. “How did I wake up in his shirt though? YN blurted out.

Brad started blushing. “Well...we helped you to your room and when we got there you started to take off your dress and-“

YN let out a loud groan and hid her face in Shawn’s shirt.

Brad gave a slight chuckle before patting her on the back. “Don’t worry! Shawn noticed what you were doing right away and took off the shirt he was wearing to cover you up before you completely stripped down.”

She blushed in response, thankful that she didn’t embarrass herself too much. Everything was slowly clicking together now as the events from the night before were coming back to her.

“Wait, where was Alexa?” YN had completely forgotten about her roommate and Brad had yet to mention her once in his recalling.

Brad let out a frustrated sigh at the mention of Alexa’s name. “I don’t know. I think she fell asleep before we got to your place. Didn’t even come out to check on you.”

That bitch. Of course. Alexa didn’t really care about YN. “Well, I think I want to talk to her now.”

Brad dropped YN off in front of her apartment after she insisted that she confront Alexa by herself. She had just pushed in the door when she heard her roommate get off the phone with someone. “Yeah, see ya soon.”

Upon hearing the door open, Alexa peeked out of her room and saw YN. Smearing a dazzling smile over her face, she came up to hug YN. “Sweetie, I heard about what happened at the bar last night. That must’ve been so scary!” Alexa’s voice sounded sincere but YN could detect the sarcasm.

YN kept her arms at her side, not returning the hug. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she muttered coldly.

Alexa took a step back, shooting YN a weird look. “What?”

YN took a deep breath before responding. She wanted to stay cool. She was not about to lose her temper over someone as pathetic and manipulative as Alexa. “Cut the shit Alexa. I know about what you did to those other girls. I know that you lied to Shawn. I know that you’re trying to ruin my friendship with him. I-“

“I don’t know what you are talking about YN.” Alexa said nonchalantly as she looked at her manicured fingers.

YN was disgusted. Alexa did not seem bothered by her actions at all.

“I heard you on the phone this morning. What happens if I tell Shawn that you’ve been lying to him all this time? About yourself? About me?”

Alexa laughed. “Honey, I have no idea what you are talking about but even if I did, what makes you so sure Shawn would believe you? I just got off the phone with him. I know he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“And that’s YOUR fault!” YN yelled. She was having a hard time staying calm and in control. “You lied to him about me! You never invited me out! You told him I didn’t want to see him anymore!”

Her roommate scoffed. “Oh please that’s on you. If you two really cared about each other, what I said wouldn’t have gotten in the way of your friendship.”

YN was speechless because Alexa was somewhat correct. If Shawn had truly cared about her, he wouldn’t have let her slip away that easily. He would’ve tried to talk to her and work things out. And she should’ve done the same too. Instead, they’d just resorted to ignoring each other. But how dare Alexa try to pin the blame on her. “I care more about him than you ever will! At least my relationship with him was real. Yours was just built on lies!”

Alexa raised an eyebrow at YN. “Relationship? Honey, I’m the one he’s dating. The one he sleeps with. The one he loves. You’re just his childhood friend. You’re acting as if he’s more than a friend to you.” she chuckled.

YN stayed silent, eyes glaring at Alexa.

“O my gosh. You like him? You ACTUALLY like him? You’re such a sad piece of -“

“SO WHAT ? So what? Does that make you happier?” YN screamed. All she could see was red and the words were spilling out of her mouth. “Yeah I like your boyfriend. I bet that makes you so feel so great about yourself.”

YN quickly turned around. She had been holding back her tears but that wasn’t happening anymore. Her eyes were watering and she didn’t want Alexa to see how much of a toll this conversation was having on her.

“I need to get far far away from you. If it isn’t clear enough, I’ll be moving out. I’ll come back for my stuff.” YN blurted out before swinging the door open.

She stopped in her tracks, eyes widening as she stared back into the eyes of Shawn Mendes. He was standing right there. Right outside the door. He’d probably just heard what she said. That she liked him.

They just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes. YN opened her mouth to say something but her throat went dry. Shawn knew. There was no doubt about it.

She quickly ducked her head out of embarrassment and ran away. She’d just made it to the end of her street when she heard Shawn’s voice call out her name.

“YN! Wait up!”

She turned around to see Shawn jogging up towards her. She was really hoping that he wouldn’t try to talk to her. She didn’t want his pity.

“You heard what I told Alexa right?” YN asked him as she stared at her feet.

“I mean yeah. But why are you dating Brad?“

YN let out a frustrated sigh. How was he not getting it yet? “I’m NOT dating Brad. He has a girlfriend. We’re just friends. I like YOU, Shawn.”

Shawn just stood there, eyes widening again. His mouth opened to say something but he was cut off by YN

“Save it.” she said bitterly. “I know what you’re going to say. It’s fine. You don’t like me back. I’ve known that for the past 8 years. Let’s just not talk about this any-“

YN was suddenly being pulled into a big hug by Shawn. It was one of those tight, warm hugs that always made YN feel so loved and YN fell into it, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“I like you too Honey.”

YN couldn’t help but let out a gasp and Shawn chuckled.

“But...but Alexa. You and her are dating.” YN stuttered.

“We WERE dating. I just ended it. Already was planning on doing that.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just not getting this. What?” YN let out an exasperated sigh. This day was way too much for her.

Shawn laughed and YN smiled to herself. She missed being the reason he was laughing. “Yeah. I didn’t like Alexa as much as I thought I did. She just seemed so much like you and I didn’t realize that’s probably the reason I liked her. Because she reminded me of you.” he blushed. “But last night, seeing you with Brad...I don’t know I’ve never been so sad and mad and-“

“Aw, were you jealous?” YN teased.

Shawn broke the hug and frowned as he looked down at her. “I mean...you guys do know that you touch each other a little too much to be friendly.”

“We’re just friendly like that!” YN reassured, pulling him back into the hug.

“Well I don’t want you doing that anymore. Not if we’re dating.”

Dating. YN started to blush and Shawn quickly realized what he said.

“Sorry. I just thought...I mean...if you don’t want to date that’s cool too. We can just stay friends or something.” He scratched the back of his neck and looked up at the sky, trying to hide his embarrassment.

YN reached up and placed a hand at the back of his head, guiding his gaze back to her. “I do want to date you Shawn” she smiled. “But you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do with Brad.”

Shawn had on one of his goofy grins that marked that he was really, truly happy. The ones that made it seem as if his face was just radiating. The ones that made YN’s heart skip a beat.

“Okay...one condition though.” YN raised an eyebrow at him. “You can’t call Brad ‘Bear’ anymore.”

She laughed and hugged him even tighter. Her head was up against his chest and she could hear his heartbeat racing. “I never called him Bear yknow. You’re the only one.”

Shawn let out a contented sigh. “Good...because you’re the only one I call Honey. I never called Alexa that.” He paused a bit. “I really like you Honey.”

“I really like you too Bear.”

thank you so much for being patient 🤧 this part isn’t rlly good (i think I’m more of an angsty writer and this isn’t rlly THAT angsty) but I’m honestly SUPER HAPPY with how Bear was overall !

once again thank you for all the love and any feedback would be appreciated ! i love y’all to the moon and back

taglist: @alinashawn @my-sweet-escape-from-the-world @l-ivingformendes @negative-love @floodinginstars @mutuallynotmutual @the-futureis-yours-to-create @hista-girl @hollandhearts @beckyseavey15 @magcon7280 @miniaturenerdsaladprune

[trickormemes]

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie starter sentences

213 starters feel free to change gender pronouns ‘read-more’ added for length

“Underpantyworld was a peaceful planet where everybody wore only underwear.”

“And guess what? I’m rotten!”

“Now put on some clothes, you weirdo.”

“I didn’t know if it was the thing where it was, like, good weird or bad weird.”

“It’s okay. We got more ideas.”

“Oh, my goodness. Did that really happen?”

“I’m sorry. I’m still mad about the comic.”

“What is happening right now?”

“Do you think he fell asleep with his eyes open?”

“Let’s try and leave and see what happens.”

“Come see my hairy armpits.”

“How? How do you know?”

“Do you have any proof?”

“The proof is here. Inside my gut.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of pranks.”

“Some of those must’ve been really hard to pull off.”

“You see what we’re up against?”

“Time to have fun with history.”

“Our pranks and practical jokes are the last line of defense against the injustice of our terrible principal.”

“Well, well, well. I heard you both got into a bit of the old trouble today.”

“Did you tattle-tale on us?”

“No one has to stand up for the Man. That’s the whole point of the Man. He stands up for himself, _____.”

“This is where the magic happens. Not, like, actual magic. No, we’re not practicing the dark arts.”

“_____ and I aren’t friends yet. But we’re about to be.”

“I don’t get it. It’s just science, guys.”

“That one’s still a work-in-progress.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to draw this.”

“I love Saturday ‘cause I can wear my pajamas all day.”

“I love Saturday ‘cause I can watch TV all day. I can pee a little bit in my underwear and no one will mind.”

“Where are you going with that? Do you really do that?”

“Make it end!”

“This is the stuff of nightmares.”

“We have to do something about this.”

“Maybe we should just lay low for a while.”

“Look at our fellow children. Look at their sad, miserable, pathetic faces.”

“If you won’t do it for me and you won’t do it for you, do it for future generations.”

“Best. Prank. Ever!”

“Well, that brings our story to its happy conclusion.”

“What’s happening to his face?”

“I’m so cold. So, so cold.”

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“We’re so guilty.”

“Extra credit, it feels so good!”

“I told you I would get you one day. And that day I was talking about is this day. Today. This is the day.”

“Your parents are obviously total failures.”

“I’m going to annihilate your friendship.”

“_____, no. You can’t do this. Please.”

“This is too much. I mean, even for you.”

“Our friendship’s over. I’ll never see you again in my life!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. It’s not the end of the world.”

“We’ll still be best friends.”

“What am I talking about? This is bad.”

“Long distance relationships never work!”

“This is the future! The future always has robots.”

“I’m the artist, you’re the writer. That’s why we need each other.”

“I mean, if we get put in separate classes, it’s the end of the world as we know it.”

“Oh, is this a bad time?”

“What brings you around here?”

“I just made this tuna casserole and I noticed it had your name on it… in jalapeño peppers.”

“Eww. They like each other.”

“Oh, _____. Get your head out of the clouds.”

“I was kinda��� hoping we appealed to a slightly cooler demographic.”

“It’s really incredible. I can actually see the end of your friendship.”

“Why are we floating?”

“I honestly didn’t think that would happen.”

“Captain Underpants? Is that really you?”

“Underpants? Check. Captain? Also check. I’m pretty sure I’m Captain Underpants.”

“Well, that was invigorating.”

“We gotta stop him!”

“Get out of the road, bozo!”

“You poor soul. You’re trapped in some sort of invisible box-like prison.”

“Is it okay that I’m kinda’ loving this?”

“You think a guy like him would be easy to find.”

“Stand down, you giant ape monster!”

“You put up a good fight!”

“Never underestimate the power of underwear!”

“Come on, _____, let’s get you back into bed.”

“Well, don’t worry about that.”

“There’s no more evil villains around here.”

“What are we gonna do? He can’t just stay here.”

“But can’t we just take a moment to acknowledge what’s happening here, please?”

“Well, a hero’s work is never done. Now it is time to fly again!”

“Where are my pants?”

“Why am I soaking wet?”

“We should probably stop.”

“I didn’t know I could do this.”

“I wonder what horrors lie inside…”

“Why’d you scream?”

“I just assumed there’d be something scary, but… it’s actually a really nice place.”

“We probably shouldn’t snoop around.”

“Ahh, this guy’s bumming me out.”

“I gotta say, this has not been the funnest snoop.”

“I sure hope we don’t ever end up like him.”

“I actually can’t see a thing. These sunglasses are too dark.”

“Are you sure my secret identity requires these… restricting, uncomfortable clothes?”

“Ooh, flirt alert!”

“I totally got this. Don’t worry one bit.”

“I’m getting a really good vibe about you.”

“Children must never laugh!”

“Just sit there and look angry for no reason.”

“How did I get here? Why is my face wet?”

“It’s like we’re the same person, yet so, so different. I love it.”

“If I had to change one thing about the world, it would be to get rid of… laughter.”

“Oh, look at this. We got a grade-A suck up.”

“I don’t like this. I mean, I don’t really understand it, but the stuff I am understanding seems genuinely bad to me.”

“Medicine is the best medicine.”

“I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”

“Can you hear me? I’m sitting right here.”

“There’s a new super villain in town and we’re trying to discover his weakness.”

“What’s going on with your face? Are you choking? Do you need to sneeze?”

“Excuse me, could you explain to me why this is funny?”

“Oh, what’s happening? I’m hyperventilating.”

“Is that really your name? It’s not, like, some kind of joke?”

“Why are you laughing?”

“I should be famous! I should be dating models twice my size and doing the talk show circuit! I should be protecting baby seals as a cause that I say I care about, but not really!”

“Stop! Stop laughing!”

“How much of that was out loud?”

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Ever heard of the sidewalk?”

“Wow, that actually worked out for once.”

“Now, let me ask you something. If you could control your principal, what would you do?”

“Yeah, scam, okay? We’re closed for Ebola.”

“I’m sorry. Why are you showing me this?”

“You have no sense of humor like a chair or a supermodel.”

“Oh, this is gonna be epic.”

“This whole visual storytelling thing is hard.”

“Hey, _____, why are we doing this again?”

“Woah! Where did this even come from?”

“Oh, my goodness! Is that a ferris wheel?!”

“This cotton candy makes me feel powerful!”

“_____ would totally lose his mind if he saw this.”

“What is this, a carnival? I hate carnivals!”

“Oh, this looks fun! How do we play?”

“What are we gonna do? We can’t keep this up forever.”

“_____, I really want some sugar.”

“We made the wrong choice!”

“This did not solve anything!”

“Nothing’s more fun than fire!”

“What is happening?!”

“Free the children!”

“_____, come back!”

“_____, I’m right here! I’m right here!”

“Don’t leave me!”

“Where would a burgeoning villain find unlimited power?”

“True power comes from within.”

“No, it doesn’t, _____! That’s on stupid posters!”

“The world, as you know it, is about to go extinct.”

“Finally! You’re speaking my language!”

“Okay, we have to stop him.”

“Are you in there? Ohh… Maybe you’re hiding here.”

“I bet he thought that was going to be cooler.”

“Prepare to be vanquished, and justice to be served on a piping hot platter of freedom! With a side order of liberty and a super-sized cup filled with freedom also!”

“Ugh, you are just so annoying!”

“I’m not naked!”

“Any final words before this whole revenge thing goes down?”

“Wait, wait, listen. We apologize for making fun of your name. I mean, that was just wrong.”

“Listen, your problem isn’t that people laugh at you. Your problem is that you can’t laugh at yourself.”

“Oh, I hope you enjoyed your years of laughter and merriment, because they’re about to come to an end.”

“Do you find anything funny about me now?”

“_____, I can’t smile anymore…”

“_____, can you hear me?”

“Now, if we don’t laugh at something soon, we may never laugh again.”

“Don’t you say that, _____! Don’t you leave me!”

“It feels so good to laugh!”

“No, stop it! Stop laughing! You’re ruining everything!”

“Extra credit or survival? I choose survival!”

“No, how could this be happening?”

“Never underestimate the power of laughter, _____.”

“Ugh, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I think I bruised a rib… because I’ve never laughed so hard in my life!”

“Why does one person have so much lip balm?”

“No way! He has real super powers!”

“Ohh, that is an obvious twist I did not see coming despite my many years of comic book studies!”

“I have come to save the day!”

“Oh, there’s more where that came from.”

“Wow. He is super dumb.”

“Ow! Did you just slap me?”

“Give it back, it’s mine!”

“No fair! No backsies!”

“Would you just give me that?”

“Now look what you’ve done!”

“Yeah, that’s more like it!”

“There we go. Back to normal like it never happened.”

“Ah! A bee! Get it away from me!”

“What? What the… Why would you do that? You just let the bad guy get away!”

“What the heck happened here?”

“I can’t believe we made him.”

“And he’s even dumber in real life.”

“We have to get rid of him, don’t we?”

“I mean, he’s a way bigger problem than _____ ever was.”

“Just ‘cause we’re in separate classes doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“I mean, we’ll always be friends. Right?”

“Let’s do a blood oath. But minus the blood. I don’t wanna see the blood. No blood.”

“What? No! That’s not sanitary!”

“Can’t we just do, like, a verbal declaration of friendship or something?”

“I, _____, hereby declare _____ as my best friend, permanently, forever.”

“The truth is a slippery thing.”

“What am I doing in your tree house again?”

“Why does this keep happening?”

“Where are my clothes? Where are they?”

“Do you wanna go on a date?”

“Big plans tonight, _____?”

“You know, it feels good to do something nice for _____.”

“Oh, my, I’ve never been to such a fancy restaurant before.”

“Well, I had to go all out for m’lady.”

“Once again, that brings our story to its happy conclusion.”

“I think there’s valuable life lessons in there… somewhere.”

“Are you worried about impending doom?”

“Those evil villains got you filled with gloom.”

“But don’t you fear, there’s a hero in the sky.”

“It’s wedgie-power time!”

“Mac and cheese, PBs and jellies—some things are better together, and that’s you and me.”

“You are my favorite, I’m not ashamed to admit.”

[starsandnines]

So recently I promised that I would share my new brocdes “headcanon” with you all, so here it goes. I will try to express myself as best as I can but I won’t promise anything because I kinda have lots of feelings about this.

So this new headcanon/theory thing came after I closely analyzed Nico’s and Lewis’ behaviour this year. But before I start, I think it is for the best that I share what had been my originial theory about these two up until now.

First of all, looking back at the rivalry of these two, I always assumed Lewis was the one who was kind of an asshole towards Nico and that’s why they drifted apart. I thought this not because I think Lewis is an asshole or anyting but because let’s be honest he is the one who can be the more dramatic, and the one who is more likely to make a hurtful comment or the one dissing the other. It is just the way Lewis is. Nico is always, ALWAYS diplomatic or at least he tries to be, he tries to keep this composed, calm and collected facade up. That has always been his coping mechanism. So all this led me to believe that Lewis was at fault mostly. And let’s be honest I always had a soft spot for Nico so who knows I might have even been a little bit biased and automatically didn’t blame him. Anyway, on to the next point. After analyzing their personalities even more deeply, I think Lewis’ behaviour is immensly misunderstood in this fandom most of the time. And it makes me sad because Lewis is often treated like this arrogant asshole who always makes rude comments about other drivers. However, Lewis is more complex than that. I’m not saying his statements and comments about Nico are not hurtful because they are. But life and people are not black and white I’m afraid. 

Let’s go back to the time after Nico’s retirement. Nico said that he and Lewis didn’t get on after a while because they obviously wanted to be treated equally in the team. He said that as long as one of them didn’t accept to be the number two then they couldn’t maintan a friendship. Now obviously the one who was always forced into being the second best in the team was Nico. Nico obviously didn’t want to accept second place and honestly why would have he? Now, I’ve always assumed that Lewis, already having championship titles, didn’t take this behaviour from Nico smoothly and I can’t blame him either. He rightly thought that he is the better driver (proven by his titles) and of course there was his competitiveness which naturally every driver has. So when I looked at these facts I believed that Lewis was the one who pushed Nico away and treated him like shit because of his own massive ego. Now, from Nico’s point of view. He must have been furious many times regarding Lewis’s behaviour with the team orders and of course Mercedes (even tho they always said otherwise) kind of wanted Nico to be the second driver. And Nico due to being diplomatic and composed about his feelings in tense situations could easily give people the impression that even tho he wasn’t happy about the drama and the tense rivalry with Lewis and his comments he still seemed to accept it somehow and learnt to roll with it. What I didn’t take into consideration is how hurt Nico must have been all the time. He must have felt like shit being treated like that and honestly just beacause he didn’t show his feelings to the cameras he might have been absouletly cold towards Lewis. Just look at how Nico reacts here (x) to a question about being friends and rivals with Lewis at the same time  and how Lewis  was just trying to make Nico laugh about it almost as if he already knew that Nico didn’t like the situation. So what I’m trying to say is that Nico mght have been the one who started to drift apart from Lewis because he was hurt and couldn’t bare being treated in such way in the team. 

(I hope you can still follow me because I haven’t even started the main theory yet :D)

So now comes a little psychology lesson even tho I’m no expert. Nico has always been very consistent with what he said about his and Lewis’ relationship during his time in the team. If you look at press conferences, post race/quali interviews he used to say the same thing all over again, sharing very little with the media, rambling about the ‘base respect towards each other” etc… Right after his retirement however, he immediately started to open up. He emphasized many times how he wanted to make things right with Lewis because he was not in the team anymore so it should be easy right? At first I was like, sure that’s the right thing to do. As this year’s season went on, Nico somehow always talked about Lewis on twitter or in interviews. Bordering on being a little too pushy in my opinion. Now I get it that he is still connected to Mercedes as he is the ambassador of the team and I guess he still has to suppport them and that means not talking shit about Lewis. But I always thought that he could have tone it down a lil bit if he wanted to but he seemed honest and genuinely happy for Lewis’ succes and race wins this year. So we saw Nico’s behaviour and after this gifset (x) where Lewis didn’t even look at Nico’s direction even tho he touched his arm, and this post (x) where they have shown a picture of Lewis and Nico to Lewis and he simply didn’t want to do anything with it, he didn’t even want to say a word about it, almost like wanting to forget that he and Nico have ever been friends. Now these passive vibes coming from Lewis almost immediately, being hugely in contrast to Nico’s kind and open approach towards Lewis, had been criticized by many in this fandom, saying how petty Lewis behaves and how he “can’t let go of his rivalry with Nico”. But in my view, that is not how people work. Lewis had many rivals in the past before Nico, I don’t think I have to specify these drivers. Nonetheless he still moved on and still can be civil with those drivers. Which leads us to the conclusion that NO Lewis is not childish and not petty and not miserable. He is hurt. Which leads us to another conclusion which is that Nico might have been the one who was at fault in their relationship turning for the worse. Furthermore to support this idea, Nico can be easily open (like I’ve mentioned a few lines above) and forgiving towards Lewis because of this exact reason that he was the one who started it all. Rightly so he is the one who should initiate the making up. Speaking from experience, my mum when she argues with somebody, tends to forget it really quickly and she always thinks that after like 5 minutes everything is forgotten without her ever apologizing. If you read what Lewis has said recently here (x) you might start to see my point. Lewis basically said that he loved Nico and so he tolerated everything but he realized that it was unhealthy for him and so he distanced himslef from Nico. I find this really tragic. I know how hard it can be to do this, when you love someone but you know that your relationship with that person is not good for your mental well-being so you move on.

I think if Lewis was such a pathetic and petty driver who cannot move on from old arguments then he would be like this with everyone. However, Nico is the only person who Lewis “treats” this way and that’s why I’m basically writing this post because it made me think about how hurt Lewis must be from the fight with Nico. And that is because Lewis is not hurt by the championship title taken away from him last year or the previous years’ dramas. He is hurt because it was NICO who (might have) hurt him. And let’s just consider the fact that they have known each other since they were kids. SINCE THEY WERE KIDS. Like, can you imagine what that feels like? 

I am not saying that Nico is the one who is the asshole here. I love both of them with all my heart. I’m just saying that recently their behaviour has put things into different perspective for me. And I also think that Lewis might be waiting for Nico to truly discuss things and he doesn’t make do with twitter mentions and what not. Or he might be so hurt that he doesn’t want to do anyting with Nico for now. Who knows.  So this is it. I feel like I just poured everything that I think into this post and I’m not sure if this is comprehensible so let me know what you think or if you need me to explain some parts then write me and I’ll try my best :)

[bornasghosts7165]

All I Want: Part 7

Previous Part

You and Harry get back to the rehearsal venue in the nick of time, but that didn’t stop Maddie from lecturing you on the importance of being on time. You probably would have felt worse about it, but you were just too happy to care. Harry had made you the happiest person on the planet, and there wasn’t anything that could ruin this mood. Not Maddie and her ‘I am the tour manager, fear me’ mode, and certainly not Liam’s presence. Though apparently, he was willing to test you, because he took it upon himself to stand right next to you as you watched Harry’s interviews. 

 It was the closest you’d been to him in a couple days, and while you were still curious, you were trying not to engage. At the end of your relationship, Liam hadn’t made you as happy as Harry just had in months. He hadn’t really taken an interest at all really, yet somehow you were still so blindsided when the end came. By then you had been traveling a lot for about a year and Liam had never even tried to make the distance less of a problem the way Harry had. It spoke volumes to you that a guy you had been dating for just over a year was making more of an effort than someone you’d been with for your entire adolescent life ever had. It made you care just a little bit less about how things turned out with Liam, but apparently he still had it on his mind.

“So.” Liam said after standing next to you for a little while. 

You look at him, but say nothing. After he doesn’t continue you look away. 

“How are you?” He asks. 

“Fine.” You answer shortly. 

“That’s good.”

“Yep.”

“So…”

“Liam.” You stop him. “Do you need something? Are you standing next to me for any specific reason?”

  Once again, now that you were in his presence the curiosity was gone and replaced with anger. 

“I just don’t want this to be weird.” Liam finally says. 

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have come.” You reply. 

“Look, I know you hate me, and you have every right to hate me. But can we just talk?” Liam asks. “I just want to talk to you.”

You didn’t want the entire tour to be weird either, and Liam made it clear by his consistent, and unfortunate presence that he wasn’t going anywhere. You couldn’t keep turning into a ball of anger every time he was within a couple yards radius of you, and you couldn’t keep wondering about the past whenever he wasn’t around. Maybe the best thing to do was to just rip off the band aid. What’s the worst that could happen?

“Fine. Talk.” You say. “But first some ground rules.”

“Okay.” Liam agrees. 

“You don’t tell anyone about us. They know we were together but the information stops there. And ‘talking’ that’s going to happen is going to be on my terms.” You say firmly. “Got it?” 

You saw your opening and you were going to take it. You were fine with being quasi-friendly with Liam as long as you were getting something out of it. A fake smile here, some useless small talk there. As long as that’s all it was then everything would work out. You just had to make sure you didn’t get any closer than that to keep things safe. It was going to make the tour bearable, and that would go a long away. After that you would go your separate ways again and everything would go back to normal.

“Got it.” Liam agreed. “I wanted to talk to you at the bar before the tour was getting off the ground, but then you saw me and kinda freaked.”

“Well, yeah, wouldn’t you be slightly put off after seeing the person who broke your heart for the first time in over a year?” You say, not pulling any punches. 

Liam looked hurt by your bluntness. Your skin had grown thicker since he had last seen you. There was a lot about you that Liam didn’t know anymore. But as you were looking at him you could tell that he was different too. It would explain his look of uncertainty when you saw him in the bar parking lot that night. You weren’t the same people and he didn’t know how to approach you anymore. But even still, you could see that he was desperate to talk to you. The Liam you knew was always sure he was doing the right thing, but this Liam seemed like he was constantly thinking. Like he wasn’t sure what to say or do or even how to talk to the former love of his life. Was he even the same boy you used to know?

“Does that happen often?” Liam asked cautiously. 

“What?”

“It kind of seemed like a panic attack.”

He was right; it was a panic attack. You hadn’t had one in about a year but there was no mistaking it for anything else. It was still just as terrifying and just as stressful. The first one you had what right after you’d been jilted by Liam. You thought you were so pathetic to be freaking out over a boy, but here you were two years later, and still having the same problem. To say that your attacks and Liam were linked would be an understatement. Clearly, he still had some sort of affect on you whether you wanted to admit it or not. 

“Uh yeah. I guess it was. Um, no not really.” You say. “It hasn’t happened in a couple years.”

You hadn’t really stopped to think about that panic attack. That night was so crazy that you almost forgot that it had happened. Before it made sense. Something huge in your life was no longer there and that was scary. You were suddenly alone, and the one person you thought you would be with forever wasn’t there anymore. Panic attacks, no matter how embarrassing, made sense at that point in your life. But why now? You weren’t still sad about the break up. Mad, yes. Sad, no. You were happy. Perhaps you were worried Liam would ruin that happiness? Or you were afraid he would hurt you again? Or seeing him reminded you of how things were before he ruined them and it made you panic all over again. There were a million reasons, and you didn’t want to think about any of them. 

“Two years ago?” Liam asked, seeming to understand he was the reason for your freak outs. 

“Yeah.” You say and look away, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“I know this doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry.” Liam tells you.

Despite your determination to not let Liam ruin the good mood Harry had put you in, you could feel yourself getting more and more upset. You didn’t want to talk about how Liam hurt you, and you certainly didn’t want to talk about it with Liam. You didn’t want him to know how bad he had hurt you. You didn’t want him to take an interest in your life or feel sorry for you. This was all getting just a bit too deep, and way past the point of quasi-friendship. This, you weren’t ready for. 

“I, uh, I can’t talk to you about this.” You say.

You turn on your heels and start walking away from the interviews. You didn’t want to disturb anything or distract Harry. The conversation you were having with Liam was not one that should be had in public let alone in front of your current boyfriend. 

“(Y/N), come on. I just want to talk. We can’t just keep tip toeing around each other.” Liam says as he follows you back stage. “I know I fucked everything up, and I know I have no right to even be standing here talking to you right now-“

“Yeah, that’s right.” You interrupt without stopping. “So why should I give you the time of day?”  

“Because it’s been two years, and I can’t keep living like this.” Liam says.

“Living like what?” You ask as you stop walking. “Like you broke my heart? Can you not live with the guilt that you’re the reason I used to have panic attacks almost everyday? Or that I honestly thought I would never be happy again? Is that reality too much for you?”

“(Y/N)-“

“Because let me tell you what my reality was.” You say interrupting again. “I was in love with you, Liam. I would have loved you forever, but that wasn’t enough for you.”

“It was!” Liam exclaims. “You were enough! More than enough!”

“If I was enough than why did you do it? Why did you cheat on me?!” You yell back. “How could you do that to me if you loved me at all?”

“I don’t know!” He shouts. “All I know is that I have never regretted anything more. I never meant to hurt you. I know that since I lost you my life has been nothing. I have nothing!”

“Oh please, don’t be dramatic.” You tell him, not willing to hear his sob story. “Or at least don’t expect me to sit here and feel bad for you. Anything you lost was your own faults, you chose that.”

It felt weird being this cut throat to Liam. You weren’t the kind of person that didn’t care about other feels and the truth was you did feel bad that Liam seemed to be so lost even after two years. The words alone meant nothing, but you could see on Liam’s face that he truly was a mess. You could see that he was hurting. You wouldn’t want anyone to feel that way you did when you and Liam ended it, and you could see that what he was feeling was something similar to what you felt, but you couldn’t show him that side of you. You couldn’t let your guard down with him. 

“I know that.”

“So why are you here?” You ask. 

This was the third time you asked him this question since he’d reappeared, and you weren’t so sure you had gotten the real answer just yet. All this trouble just to apologize? Doubtful. Just because he missed you? Liam wasn’t dumb enough to think he could just come visit you like an old friend, not the way things ended. He would have to have a really good reason for showing his face around here again. You had intended to stay away from Liam for the sake of your relationship with Harry and your sanity, but that was seeming less and less possible. If he wasn’t going away you were eager to know what it was. 

You could feel the conversation was starting to weight on you. It was the first time you and Liam had had any real discussion about the topic. And why you were no where near a truce, it felt cathartic. Once you found out he was cheating on you, you were out. It was too much to forgive. You’d given him everything and in return you got this. You didn’t want to hear the story, or the reasons, all you knew was that the boy you loved had been with other people and that was all you needed. But now, two years away from it all, closure was looking pretty good, even if it did mean having a few arguments along the way. It seemed like it was something you both needed

“Why did you come here?” You ask again, trying to hide your shaky voice. “Are you here just to mess with me?”

Liam stepped forward, sensing the shakiness in your voice. He looks into your eyes, and places his hand on your shoulder. The hair on your arms stands up at his touch, and your heart beats faster. This was the closest you’d been in two years, and you weren’t sure how to feel about it. Liam gently ran the back of his hand down your arm and to your hand. You exhale slowly, and grip his hand slightly. He takes hold of it for just a second before you pull it away from him, not liking where it was going.

“I just want you to know that, from the bottom of my heart, that I’m so sorry. For everything. You didn’t deserve all the pain I caused you.” Liam says.  

You shrug, and take a step away from him. You cross your arms in front of your body and say, “What am I supposed to do with that, Liam? Do you want me to just forgive you? Am I supposed to just pretend that none of it happened?”

“No.” Liam answered. “I just thought you should know. Forgive me or don’t. You should know I’m not the same guy that hurt you.”

“Okay.” You nod. “Prove it.”

[hurtmeg00d]

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Im confused on this question

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes... but make sure that person is worth all the hardships..

3. Are you a virgin? No..

4. Are you in a relationship? No..wont be until my aching heart is healed

5. Are you in love? Yes but im in love with someone who no longer cares for me ..someone who’s moved on and i look pathetic for begging them to come back..aint ever did no shit like this before

6. Are you single this year? as of now and for years after now, yes.

7. Can you commit to one person? Of course, why date if you aren’t working towards that?

8. Describe your crush : Its more than a crush.. this man is strong-willed, stubborn, passionate, driven, and everything you could ever want in a man.

9. Describe your perfect mate : Id rather not

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? In a sense yes, vibes are real, but its unlikely

11. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, that’s a goal of mine

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Honestly....i only give chances to those willing to continue to fight for me ...there’s a point in which it can become insane tho.

13. Do you get jealous easily? Yes, as fuck, but i hide it.. i want you to show me who you really are ..

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? I think its obvious

15. Do you have any piercings? Duh

16. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, 2, on both arms

17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes, but not to the point where we’re making others uncomfortable.  

20. Do you shower every day? Shiiiiit twice sometimes three times a day, i could live in my shower.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Nope, I know for a fact.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Why would they lol.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course, longest relationship was 2 1/2 years and THEY cheated on me the whole time... thats a horrible feeling.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Ha... with the ways things are going rn in my non-existent love life, NO.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? If its not Jbaby then fuck no, everyone can fuck off for all i care, im stuck.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes but did they make the effort? No. Didn’t mean jack shit

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? No

28. Have you ever been cheated on? Almost every relationship, ALMOST.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Every woman has, but just workout.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Ha. Are you kidding? im the king of sorrows

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes numerous times.. i love too hard..

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yes..

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yes...

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? I prefer 21+ so yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Only once but we both didn’t want to ruin the friendship

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Ha yes 

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Oh wow, of course .. i never expect to because im so closed off

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Currently !!!!!!!!!

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? YES.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? eh yeh

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? I love foreplay, it just depends on my mood and how much im arousing the other person, i wait till i hear heavy breathing.

43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 1/2 years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? My whole life i have 6 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? One because thats when i had my first kiss

46. How many times did you have sex last year? What kinda question

47. How old are you? Nastyyyy Nineteeeen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Thats their choice, what can you say?

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Well i don’t but when i did, it was hard to pick a favorite thing when everything about him was perfect

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? FUCK NO HAHA

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? .....Yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Currently...i haven’t even tho i know i should.. he blocks me on all social media.. i uhh.. thats all i got for this question..

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Im not but if i was and there were, FUCK EM

54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yup....

55. Share a relationship story. I cant ...too sad....

56. State 8 facts about your body : nah

57. Things you want to say to an ex : He knows how i feel about him. I still love and adore you. You still have a home here with me. I pray for you everyday... need i say more???

58. What are five ways to win your heart? You can’t rn its out of service

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) nah

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 4 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? intellect 

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? For me? lol fight for me.. and to me? choke me the fuck out and call me his little princess

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? passionate rough love making

64. What is your definition of cheating? GIVING MF”S THE YOU THAT YOU GIVE ME

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Ayyyyy nah im not bout to say all that

66. What is your favourite roleplay? Never done that

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Anything could be a date if youre just spending time with that person

68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual

69. What turns you off? inconsistency 

70. What turns you on? a couple thangs

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? not telling

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? ooooooh theres alot, just whisper a bunch of shit about how pretty i am, how im yours, and what you gonna do to me

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? i dont want anything... i do the giving

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? i dont 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? uh cant recall

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? .....too much to write out

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? 5 years is the limit

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? hm

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? eh 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? last month..

81. Who are five people you find attractive? nahhhh only the one and only JBaby

82. Who is the last person you hugged? Mommmmmaaaa

83. Who was your first kiss with? Gio lmfao

84. Why did your last relationship fail? Because i suffer from PTSD and i wasnt mentally ready for such an amazing beautiful man to sweep me off my feet so i started trying to cope in ways that hurt him.. im a piece of shit for that but it was too late you know? I fell in love with him when i knew i wasnt ready and still gave it a chance and then ii fucked it all up...im getting a tattoo to remember it..

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? no