#the way they can convey so much in the written word that you can’t pick up watching on screen

[girl4music]

“It's quick and effortless and beautiful and you know this is more desperation and continuation than a whole thing, a new position for a new overwhelming emotion, but there's poetry in that too. She’s pulling you into her, pulling you away from the darkness, loving you and moving with you with a ferocity that smooths and fills and repairs the cracks in your distressed soul.”

[ariundercovers]

Homeward Bound (When Paths Cross Pt. V, Javier Peña x Reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x Afab!Reader (No use of y/n!)

Length: ~3k words

Series Summary: Chucho's been like a father figure to you since he helped you out of a sticky situation on your second day in Laredo. What happens when you finally meet his son, the former-DEA agent, who just happens to ignite you in a way that you haven't felt before?

Chapter Summary: After three weeks away on work trips, you finally come 'home.'

Chapter Warnings: good mix of porn and plot in this one. p in v, Javi being a needy demon, spanish nicknames, safe sex, pushy javi (but never in a sexual way!), javi lacks impulse control. another brief moment of angst but it resolves quickly.

If you're so inclined, please drop a like and a reply/reblog! I live for your feeback, and it keeps me going and keeps me writing. Did you like it? love it? hate it? I want to hear all of your thoughts!

PREVIOUS PART (IV) HERE

It’s been three weeks since you’ve been able to stay over on a Sunday night. 

As you prep for a new installation of an exhibition with additional courier responsibilities, terse mornings in the office have taken you out of state and out of town for continuous weekends. You’re miserable - you miss your Peña boys, very much so. You miss Chucho’s company and you miss Javi’s… everything. 

You call as often as you can which is, admittedly, not all that often. 

By the end of the third week, you’re starting to worry that Javi might have forgotten about you or written you off entirely. You know that’s just your own worry and self-consciousness showing through, but you can’t help it, regardless.

At the end of those three long, exhausting weeks, you finally trudge home on a Friday night, your cab dropping you off just outside your apartment. You haul your suitcase up the steps and into your small loft, the added exertion only serving to exhaust you even further. You wheel your suitcase inside and close the door behind you, moving so you can lean backward against it, eyes closing as you take a few deep breaths. 

It’s good to be home, really, but all you want to do is throw yourself in bed and sleep for the next twelve or fourteen hours. Sighing, you open your eyes and pick yourself up off of the wall, dragging your suitcase back to your bedroom. You drop it on the floor next to the door and kick off your boots, flinging yourself into the bed. It’s comfortable, and you don’t want to move, but you force yourself to roll to your side and grab your phone off the end table, dialing the only person, as it turns out, that you want anything to do with when you’re this tired and miserable. The phone only rings twice.

“Muñeca?” Javi’s warm baritone trembles through the speaker, lighting up your body with its warmth.

“Hey, Javi. I just got back.” You can practically hear the smile through the other end of the speaker as he chuckles on the other end of the line.

“Good. I was starting to think you ran away from me. How are you? It’s been a long few weeks, feeling okay now at the end of it?” You nod and then answer with a hum.

“Yeah. I’m okay. Exhausted, but all in one piece. I’m just happy to be home. Did you stay out of trouble while I’ve been gone?”

He chuckles again and sighs. “A perfect angel. Nothing to report. Just don’t ask Pops what he thinks.” You giggle at the joke as he pauses for a beat. After a heavy breath on his end he asks, “Can I come to see you?” 

You sigh, a bit exasperated by the thought of it, but you consider it, anyway. You really do want to see him. 

“It’s late, and I’m exhausted. I’m sure I won’t be very good company at all.”

“Have you eaten?”

You pause, not wanting to answer. You can’t lie to him. 

“No. I’ll eat in the morning.”

Javi sighs through his teeth - it’s a sharp sound that conveys to you his disappointment. “Absolutely not. I’ll pick something up on the way over. You need to eat, cariño. Even if you kick me out right after, let me bring you something to eat.”

“But Javiii…” You whine, annoyed at your own voice. When did you get so whiny?

“No, cariño. Food. What do you want? Anything. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

You give in, offering him a suggestion for something you’re in the mood for, and you curl up on the bed, planning on just resting your eyes for a long while. After falling asleep accidentally, you’re awoken by the loud sound of persistent knocking at your front door. You jump slightly, standing and stretching your limbs before you trudge to the door and open it up, greeted by one beautifully bronzed and mustached Tejano.

“Javi-” You smile, just his presence alone lifting your spirits, and he lifts the food in his right hand with a smirk as he pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind you. He sets the food down on the couch for a moment, turning and gathering you up in his arms. His grip is tight, warm, and comforting.

This, it turns out, feels far more like coming home than walking into your apartment did. 

The scent of his cologne and his leather jacket permeate your senses, settling you with ease as you allow yourself to melt into his arms like putty. “Muñeca… I missed you. Pops has been unbearable without you around.” You smile into his jacket and sigh, pressing yourself against him fully.

“Oh? You just miss me keeping him at bay, huh?” He laughs - a few short breaths through his nose - and then leans down to nuzzle against your hair, nosing at the spot just behind your ear. Your hands wrap tightly around his waist, clinging firmly to him.

“Among… other things.” He chuckles again and trails a hand up to your chin, ticking it upwards with his index finger so he can lean in and kiss you properly. It’s a slow kiss - maybe the slowest you’ve shared so far - and it feels like it sets your skin completely alight. When he pulls away, he smooths a hand down your cheek before he offers you a lopsided smile and a slow breath.  “Food has been delivered. Want me to go now? Let you relax?” 

You shake your head frantically and tighten your grip, unwilling to let go.

“Absolutely not. You’re not going anywhere, Mr. DEA.”

He laughs and of course, obliges you. You have a seat together on the couch, wrapped up in his arms as he sits and eats with you, taking turns sharing a recollection of your missing weeks for a long while. He cleans up the living room before you sleepily tumble into bed together, barely bothering to strip yourselves of your clothing. 

He wraps you up in his arms, hands stroking whatever strips of exposed skin he can reach until you find yourself falling into the most glorious dreamless sleep. He follows shortly thereafter, body cradling yours and keeping you safe and warm under the sheets.

~~~

Javi wakes before you do, stirring you from your dreamless slumber with the scent of fresh coffee and a bag of donuts. Groggily, you sit up as he rubs your back, urging you awake.

“What time is it?” You ask.

“Quarter to nine. Thought you could use the extra sleep.”  He holds up the bag to you as if it’s an offering. “Breakfast? Made it myself.”

“Oh I’d bet you did. Krispy Kreme bag label and all, huh?” He shrugs nonchalantly, that distinctive smirk pulling up at the corner of his lips once again. You share a quiet breakfast in bed together, with Javi’s side pressed up against yours against the headboard as you pick at each other’s donuts. It’s comfortable in a way that you haven’t felt with someone else before - at least not for a very long time, you think.

You take your time finishing, chatting easily all the while, before you announce your intentions to take a shower - alone. Javi’s look is one of severe disappointment, immediately offering you the saddest puppy dog eyes as he begs you to let him join you. Ultimately, the pleading face he gives you cracks your resolve in an instant. You let him join anyway with the promise of keeping his hands to himself.

And, Javi does, in fact, behave in the shower. You’re truly surprised but, save a few brief wandering hands, he largely keeps them to himself and lets you bathe quickly and efficiently. You feel remarkably better and refreshed not that you’ve washed the feeling of airline travel off of your body completely. 

When you get out, however, all hell breaks loose. No promises were made for how he’d behave after the shower, so in no time at all he has you pressed up against the countertop, leaning over you as his lips attach themselves to that tender junction between your neck and collarbone. He has you caged in, unable to move anywhere but exactly where he wants you to be. One hand reaches down for your thigh, hitching it up over his own hip as your core brushes against his rigid length. You gasp at the contact, his searing heat sending sparks down your spine.

“I’ve missed you, Muñeca…” You giggle and roll your hips forward slightly as one of his hands slides between your legs, thumb brushing lightly over your clit. Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes fall shut as he leans forward, lips finding spots all over your cheeks and neck to kiss and nibble at. You’re putty in his hands, like always. 

He works you quickly to the edge on his fingers, pulling a powerful orgasm out of you that leaves you breathless and shaking. Then you drop to your knees and take him into your mouth, hands massaging circles into his hips as his body tights and cums deep down your throat. Neither of you are sated, and you both know it.

You drag him into the bedroom and throw him down onto the sheets. Well, he assists - he’s a big boy - but you definitely urge him into position. Throwing one leg overtop of him, you straddle his waist, grinding against his deliciously hard cock as you lean down and kiss him furiously.

“It was like hell not being able to see you, not being able to talk to you, Javi… and not being able to touch you, either? I thought I was going crazy.” He chuckles and returns your affections, kissing you back with just as much feverishness as you’re feeling right now.

“So did I, cariño. I can’t tell you how many night I had to suffer… laying in bed thinking about you over and over again. It was torture.” You nuzzle your forehead against his cheek, pressing a kiss to his lower jaw before biting at it lightly. Hips rolling against him, you can practically feel the blood rushing back to his cock as you work him over.

“I need you, Javi. Please- fuck, I need to feel you so badly.” You whine into his ear, body mercilessly rolling along his as your slick starts to coat his shaft. If you move your hips just right, you can feel the tip of his cock notch at your entrance and then slip back out, begging you to just sink down onto him already. He groans, head dropping back in frustration as he tugs your hips upwards and off of him.

“Hold on, baby… I need to go get a condom-” Whining, you fall forward, throwing your bodyweight across his chest. 

“Javiiii… I’m on birth control. You don’t have to.” He sighs and laces one hand into your hair, softly tugging as he lifts you up just enough to press a kiss to your cheek.

“Can’t be too careful though, bonita.” You groan but roll off of him, not willing to push it any further, however much you really don’t want to wait for him to go find one. He comes back quickly, rolls it on, and lays down, pulling you back ontop of him as he enters you in what feels like the blink of an eye. Immediately, he has you whimpering on his cock, whining and moaning as you bounce up and down with ease. With your eyes closed, every movement and feeling is intensified - the way he fills you so fully and completely, his greedy hands gripping into your hips, the way he has his thighs propped up for you like you’re sitting in your own personal throne.

You’re lost to it. Lost to him, really.

It’s not long before the two of you are tumbling over the edge together, a melted mess of moans and ‘so perfect’s and ‘missed you’s and ‘so good’s. You praise each other endlessly, a cacophonous chorus of each other’s moans and syllables as you come down from your respective highs. Somewhere in the post-coital haze, you register Javi wiping you down with a cloth and then curling into you on the bed. It feels safe, warm, and perfect. It’s everything you didn’t have while you were away, and everything you didn’t realize exactly how much you missed, either.

The rest of the morning goes by in a repeat fashion. You nap for a few moments, wake up, ravage each other once more, and inevitably fall back asleep. Over and over again, you find a calmness and an equilibrium in each other's bodies that both of you were severely missing while you were away.

Eventually, you both get hungry. The donuts could only do so much to satisfy you long-term. After getting out of bed - finally - and cleaning up, you set out for something to eat. Javi drives the two of you, keeping the windows wide open as you listen to Santana the entire drive. The tex-mex place he picked out wasn’t too far, only a fifteen-minute drive or so, but it feels like a lifetime with the way your stomach is gurgling at every turn. Once you’re finally seated and have ordered, he reaches across the table to grasp your hands, pulling them up to his mouth as he kisses your knuckles with a smile.

You settle into easy conversation together, recounting your past few weeks to one another. It feels natural, like second nature. Everything just feels right. 

You really, really did miss this.

When you finally finish up, Javi helps you out of your seat with a chivalrous and well-placed arm, walking you outside and to the car with his fingers laced in yours. He drives you back to the Peña farm, where Chucho embraces you with the warmth and strength of a real father figure, making you feel so comfortable and loved that you don’t ever want to let go.

“Chiquita,” He addresses you. “You’ve been well missed, here. Javi has been insufferable.” You giggle at the comment and squeeze him a little tighter until he lets you go finally, holding your shoulders as he looks you up and down. “You look exhausted.”

“Yeah. Long couple of weeks. I’m just glad I’m finally home.”

Home. You think about that concept again for a moment, trying to consider it. It seems to keep coming up these past few days.

Home was starting to get pretty complicated for you. It wasn’t the northeast anymore, but it wasn’t your apartment, either. It was starting to feel more like the Peña house, really, but you know it hasn’t been long enough for that to really be viable. You shake off the thought and reassure Chucho, instead.

“And it’s good to see you. I missed you, too, Chucho.” He smiles and offers a curt nod.

“Stay for dinner. We’ll do a Saturday meal instead, keep you here a little longer, hm?” He heads off to the kitchen with a smile and Javi steps up to you, squeezing your shoulder.

“Care to take a walk with me, cariño?” You agree, of course, and he leads you outside, starting to lead you down one of the many footpaths across the large acreage of the farm. You settle into an easy conversation, then, talking about any and everything. It was carefree again, until you asked about his work.

“Why’d you decide to come back to Laredo, after all that time in the DEA? Chucho always talks about how into it you were.” He sighs. It’s a long, suffering one that makes you instantly regret asking in the first place.

“It’s a long story I’d rather not get into.”

“Oh. Sorry… I didn’t mean to overstep, Javi.” He shakes his head and looks over at you with a stern expression.

“‘S alright. Just, uh… change of topic? Why don’t you tell me about back home?”

There’s that word again.

Home.

You’re not so sure what to do with it. Where even is ‘back home?’ You’re certain he means back up North, but it doesn’t feel right to call it that, not anymore.

“Oh, you mean where I’m from? Back up North?”

“Yeah. What’s it like? I spent some time in D.C., training, but haven’t been further than that, really.”

“Well… it’s a lot of cities. Every two hours that you drive there’s a big city, pretty much. Washington D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, New York, Boston…  And you can keep going. Life gets oriented around them. Things here are… simpler, I think. Less hustle and bustle. I like it.”

“Yeah? You like sleepy Laredo?”

“You don’t?” You’re surprised, to say the least. Why bother coming back if he didn’t like it in the first place? Javi shrugs it off with a grunt, shoulders raising with a grimace.

“Never did so much. Spent a long time just wanting to get away. Go somewhere else. Anywhere but here.”

“Then why’d you come back?”

“When I left the DEA, I was lost. Didn’t have anywhere else to turn to. So I came home. Figured I’d retire, settle down and help Pops out. You know just as well as I do that he does way too much around here without asking for help.” You laugh sarcastically for a moment.

“Yeah that is true, absolutely.”

“Don’t think I even knew what else to do. This is all I know. Laredo, and DEA.” The conversation lulls as the two of you continue to walk until you finally speak up, an unasked question hovering at the tip of your tongue.

“Think you’re gonna stick around?” He slows and stops in his tracks, turning to face you as one hand reaches up to brush his thumb across your cheekbone. You can feel a heat rise to your cheeks slightly and he smiles at your reaction to him. The tone in his voice is playful, teasing, even, when he answers. You know what he’s implying, even if he won’t say it out loud just yet.

“I don’t know. Are you?”

~ ~ ~

a/n: Lil' bit of a cliffhanger on this one. Trying to set up some things to happen later on. I love all of you who are following along! Your interactions and comments and criticisms and all of it are so appreciated! xoxoxo

Taglist: @amyispxnk @picketniffler (lmk if you'd like to be added!)

NEXT PART (VI) HERE

[thrawns-babygirl]

hello! same anon as before, i just saw prompt #50 and i am LOSING IT?? the thought of him mumbling it between kisses against your skin is making me *short circuit noises* i need it immortalised in writing

anon you are so right. I think this is the fluffiest smut I've ever written lmao I hope you enjoy it :)

Rating: E (18+) Warnings: Unprotected PiV, creampie, very soft!cross Word Count: 800+ Prompt: #50 "You're so beautiful... so so beautiful"

Masterlist

a/n: I was listening to Hot Tea by Half Alive while writing this, I absolutely recommend checking the song out because omg its so emotional i love it so much

The Coruscant lights spill in through your windows, illuminating you like a goddess in front of him. You had just gotten out of the shower, wet hair still sticking to you as small droplets of water slide down your skin. He was the luckiest man in the galaxy, no scratch that, the known universe.

You turn to face Crosshair, smiling softly, he’s leaning against the doorway to your bedroom, arms crossed, clad only in soft sleep pants as he watches you.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you ask as you dry your hair and let the towel fall from around your body as you search for something comfortable to wear to bed.

“You” he answers simply. The marks he left on your neck not even an our ago stand out on your skin like a brand. Like his brand.

“Alright what about me?” you chuckle before throwing a large shirt over your body. You attempt to move past him back into the bathroom to put your towel away, but his arms wrap around your waist.

“Your smile… your laugh… everything about you” it’s almost a whisper, like he’s sharing a secret no one else should be hearing. He leans his head down and presses his lips to yours, it’s soft and tender, a stark contrast to the way your tongues were fighting for dominance earlier. You melt into him, dropping the towel as you wrap your arms around his neck. He places his hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him as he continues to deepen the kiss.

“You’re so beautiful… so so beautiful…” he mumbles against your lips as his thumbs soothe small circles against your hips. You reluctantly part to catch your breath as he stares intently down at you, like he’s searing the sight of you into his memory.

“Cross-” you’re interrupted by Crosshair picking you up, hands placed firmly on your behind as he carries you over to the bed before throwing you down onto the plush covers and connecting his lips with yours again.

“You’re irresistible princess… I just can’t control myself when I’m around you” he’s pulling your shirt up and kissing along the dip between your breasts, moving his mouth over one of your nipples and sucking before giving the other the same treatment. His touch sends shocks of electricity down your spine, pooling at the apex of your thighs. You let out a soft moan as he begins kissing down your body, lower and lower before his mouth connects with your still sensitive clit.

He groans against you, tongue licking a stripe up your entrance before he’s moving up the bed towards you again. You can feel the blunt head of his hard length against your folds as he kisses you again. He swallows every sound you make as he slowly slides himself into your waiting heat. This is nothing like the fiery sex you had earlier in the night, this time it’s charged with emotion, with a passion you never knew he was capable of. Instead of fucking you into the mattress, he was making love to you.

He sets a slow pace, dragging his length in and out of your walls slowly, resting his forehead against yours as you rake your nails down his back. Your labored breaths mingling together as you stare into each other’s eyes, conveying more emotion than words ever could. In his mind he’s not sure he could ever find the words to convey just how he feels about you, the word ‘love’ doesn’t even feel like it could encompass every emotion you make him feel. So instead of talking, he speaks with his actions, he runs the pads of his fingers down your body towards your clit, keeping himself propped up on one elbow as he begins rubbing soft circles against the bundle of nerves.

You writhe, balling your hands in the sheets beneath you as his thrusts begin to increase their tempo. He wants to drag this out, but the look of pure adoration in your eyes as you look at him makes him feel like he’s burning up. You are his sanctuary, his small piece of paradise and this is his way of showing you how you make him feel. You could ask him to leave the army, desert and risk decommission and in this moment he would.

He can feel your walls fluttering around him and he knows you’re close. He picks up the pace and the sound of his flesh connecting with yours and your soft whimpers fill the room as you cum around him. It only takes a few moments before he’s following you over the edge, spilling inside you for the second time that night. He’s panting, still staring into your eyes as you move a hand up to cup his face and bring his lips back down to yours for another emotionally charged kiss.

“I love you… so much” he mutters against your lips.

@where-is-my-mind-tho@starborncyare@antishadow2021

[moderndaylestat]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you my darling @riley-beautrelle for the tag 🩷

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 25

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 509,392 but some fics are co-written so they’re not ALL my words

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently only IWTV but i used to write for Hannibal

4. Top 5 fics by kudos: my top 5 are all Hannibal fics but for IWTV the ones with most kudos are Let the flesh instruct the mind, Against all odds, Sum of our worst moments, Works like love, and New horizons

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always. If someone’s taking the time out of their day to let me know that they enjoyed my work, then the least I can do is to take the time to respond and say thank you. Comments are SO important to me, perhaps the most important metric even. Reader feedback motivates me to keep writing (so if you’ve ever commented on anything of mine, thank you so much 🥺🩵)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I pretty much only write happy endings so none of them are angsty. But if i had to pick the angstiest it would be Sum of our worst moments. It’s pretty hopeful but the circumstances Loustat are in are pretty grim sooooo

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them, but Works like love is very fluffy and happy, Loustat’s honeymoon era

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope, thankfully. Occasionally people express their disagreement with my choices about which character tops and which bottoms but it’s hardly hate

9. Do you write smut? Of course. All my fics are Explicit rated 😏

10. Craziest crossover: I haven’t written any tbh

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, and it was the biggest honour 🥺

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and i love it! I co-wrote a Hannibal fic series with my love @memequeen1127 and miiiiiight write something for IWTV with my other love @sightetsound. Stay tuned!!

14. All time favourite ship? Loustat at the moment but I also love Hannigram

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? My most popular Hannigram fic. I love the AU setting and plot but i just can’t find the motivation to continue :(

16. What are your writing strengths? I think i can do a pretty good job at conveying deep emotions with my words. I like using clever figurative language and metaphors to add colour to my writing. And i’m good at foreshadowing 👀

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I think i sometimes over-explain things to readers in my writing because i want to make sure that things come across the desired way. Maybe that can be jarring and readers want to interpret things and arrive at conclusions on their own.

I don’t tend to describe the physical appearance of my characters (or things and places) unless it’s directly relevant to the story. A visually oriented reader may prefer more descriptions in order to be able to visualise things.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I always love seeing some French in IWTV fics. Im learning French currently so it’s a nice way to practice. But i think that sometimes too much foreign dialogue can distract from the story if the reader isn’t familiar with the language and has to go find translations.

19. First fandom you wrote in? First ever was Harry Potter but first on ao3 was Hannibal

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This is a very hard question! Currently the college fic (Against all odds) is my baby, i think about it every day.

As for tags - all my fav authors have already been tagged so this is an open invitation for anyone and everyone who wants to answer these questions ☺️

[imabillyami]

Ten Questions for Writers 

Tagged by my ride or die @shanie 💙 Thank you, love!

(1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Officially, 12. Unofficially, 76.

(2) What's your total AO3 word count?

Officially 48k. Unofficially around 440k.

(3) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently WWE & professional wrestling. Other fandoms (911, Skam, Merlin etc.) in private these days.

(4) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to reply to every comment, but I have Swiss cheese for a brain, so more often than not I’ll forget if I don’t reply right away. So I either reply right away or 6 months later usually. I appreciate and cherish every single comment though! If I don’t reply, it’s really nothing personal and just my memory being botchy.

(5) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah. 2 longfics in one of my old fandoms. It’s why I have longstanding beef with wattpad. Cause someone posted my fics over there and when I reported it, wattpad did absolutely nothing about it. I was able to resolve the issue eventually thanks to some help from my lovely readers.

I post to AO3 and tumblr exclusively these days and don’t want to see my work shared anywhere else. 

(6) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several, yeah. In this fandom I’ve collaborated with @mahi-wayy previously. I’m always open to collabs if the opportunity arises. 

(7) What's your all-time favourite ship?

Can’t pick just one tbh. I’ve been (writing) in plenty of fandoms since I was 13, I’m 29 now, so you do the math. My current favs are Samijey & Ambreigns though. 

(8) What are your writing strengths?

Writing the inner worlds/voices of my characters and conveying their feelings. That, and I think I have a knack for writing lines that just hit you outta nowhere. (I'd maybe add trauma awareness to that.)

(9) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a couple. The biggest one is probably that whenever I write, I pretty much forget and neglect everything else (food, sleep, human interaction). When I’m in the tunnel, there’s no good way of getting me out of it. If I can’t get into the writing tunnel, I don’t write at all usually, due to my really short attention span. A lot of things really have to line up for me to be able to sit down for a lengthy writing session. 

The other one is my writing speed. I’m a rather slow writer, cause I’m constantly second guessing myself and every sentence I write. 

I’m rather harsh with my own writing and probably my own worst critic. I’m huge on rewriting and editing stuff and taking time to try and make everything I write the best version it possibly can be. 

(10) First fandom you wrote for?

Either High School Musical or Queer as Folk US. Both back when I was 13. I dunno which one came first tbh. They were closely back-to-back lol. 😂 

Tagging: @mahi-wayy 💛 Pretty much everyone else I know and love, I've seen tagged already, I think (apologies if I'm forgetting about anyone, please consider yourself tagged by me!)

[bechloeislegit]

20 Questions Game

This seemed like it might be fun to do. So, here’s my responses. I was tagged by @ridiculously-over-obsessed

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

AO3 says I have 113 Works (many of which I migrated over from FanFiction.net since that was the first site I posted on).

2. Total AO3 word count

1,866,264 (Can this be right?)

3. Fandoms you write for

I write solely for Pitch Perfect 

4. Top 5 fics by kudos -

Love at First Bite: A Pitch Perfect Story - A vampire AU fic; cowritten with RJRMovieFan.

Pitch Perfect 3: BeChloe Is Legit! - Pitch Perfect 3, written as we believe it should have been and could have been if the filmmakers were a little more visionary; cowritten with RJRMovieFan.

Skyping While Sleeping - Summary: A one-shot based on a post/prompt from Tumblr User @ladygaybeale. Beca is on tour and Skypes Chloe. Chloe thinks Beca is asleep and tells Beca her deepest regret.

Stronger - Summary: Beca and Chloe meet before Beca starts at Barden University and become fast friends. Chloe is a Senior and had a terrifying experience when she was home for the summer. The two are drawn to each other, but is Beca biting off more than she can chew in wanting to be more than just a friend to Chloe? Rated M for language. Warning: Mentions of anxiety attacks and assault (not sexual).)

BeChloe Week 2019 - Summary: 8 BeChloe One-shots based on prompts submitted by Tumblr users.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I’m sure I’ve missed some, but I do try to respond to them all.

6. Fic w/Angstiest Ending.

I think I’d have to say, “Chloe Effed Up.” It’s the only fic I’ve written where Beca and Chloe do not end up together.

7. Happiest ending? 

I am known for happy, fluffy stories, so I can’t pick which of my fics would have the happiest ending. (I do love writing an Epilogue and will (almost) always find a way to have a happy ending.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None that I can recall.

9. Do you write smut/what kind?

Not usually; I have written some light smut when I felt it added something to the story (or I got badgered enough and added some to keep readers happy; giving into peer pressure is not usually my forte, but I can be persuaded every once in a while).

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven’t, but I have used characters from Grey’s Anatomy more than once. 

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Yes.

12. Ever had a fic translated?

Not that I’m aware of.

13. Ever cowritten a fic?

Yes, several, actually.

14. Favorite ship?

For writing, all Bechloe, all the time. Also, Staubrey. And, I don’t write them, but I have grown a bit fond of Junksen (and I did write a Christmas one-shot where Aubrey and Emily were together).

15. A WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Nothing that’s been posted. (I do have a couple of fics in a Drafts folder that I started because I got an idea and didn’t want to lose it. I may have to revisit that folder and see if there’s anything there worth working on.)

16. Writing strengths?

I finish every fic I start; nothing is left incomplete. I also feel I’m stronger at writing one-shots than multi-chapter fics.

17. Writing weaknesses?

I use dialog to convey the story because I’m not as good at imagery or descriptive narratives.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in a different language?

I haven’t written too much in a different language, only small parts of conversations, and Google Translate may or may not have been involved. If I actually spoke a different language, I would definitely write something in that language.

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

Pitch Perfect. Also, it's the only fandom I’ve written for.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Wow! That’s a loaded question. I don’t really have a favorite, but I do have a few that I really am proud to have written. My top five are (in no particular order):

Beca and Chloe’s Summer Fling My Name is Beca Mitchell What if the World Ended Tomorrow? Chloe Goes On Strike Stronger

There are also a number of one-shots that I would consider faves (I admit I have too many to list).

Tagging: Anyone who reads this and wants to do it.

[fickleminder]

In response to your post about your writing...

Forgive the essay, but you're one of the best writers I've seen on this platform. My favorite is probably "the years start coming and they don't stop coming"; it never gets old. I also LOVE "The Sphynx" and "Dirty Pop(sicles)" (but that last one... lmao).

I think the way you write is typically clear, concise, and interesting. You do a good job at varying sentence length and structure, and you use a wide range of vocab to avoid repetition. These things also give the MC a relatable personality and convey their emotions in a subtle way (not to mention the fact that they can be downright hilarious). "Actions speak louder than words" is always a hallmark of good writing, and I'd say you nail that most of the time.

One thing about fanfiction is that you don't have many opportunities to describe things without relaying something your reader already knows. But this is arguably good practice; in general you don't want to stop time to give a full description of an environment unless the character is in awe and observing it all in detail themselves (even then, keep it brief).

Personally, I like your character- and plot-centric approach; truthfully, the details of the setting and what someone's wearing aren't important to the reader... unless, of course, they are.

Some might disapprove of your "abrupt" transitions, but I think it works really well for you. The way you introduce the next part usually makes it easy to pick up and avoids being repetitive, so I don't see it as a problem (quite the opposite, actually).

In short, you do a great job! Do you write/plan on writing formally at all, or is it just a hobby for you?

I had to lie down and reboot my brain a few times before even thinking about how to reply this. This is such a motivating thing to read first thing in the morning, holy shit.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m going to print this essay and hang it on my wall.

I feel like I struggle with “show don’t tell” a lot, which leads to the balancing act between elaborating/describing and not over-explaining/stating the obvious. I’ve written plots too vaguely before, and I always have to remind myself that plot twists readers can see coming (or at least don’t come completely out of nowhere) are actually a good thing 😅

I’ll keep your encouragement in mind Anon! And to answer your question, writing’s just a hobby for me. It’s something I want to keep absolutely stress-free, so I don’t do those “write x words a day” stuff or monthly challenges. Kudos to the writers who do though, I have mad respect for them 🫡

I can’t say this enough, but thank you again. I’ll let you in on something: I’m actually in the middle of commissioning an artist for an illustration of a scene in The Sphinx. Since you enjoyed that piece (I had a lot of fun writing it too even though xOC fics generally aren’t popular), I hope you’ll look forward to it when it’s finally done.

Have a great rest of the week Anon 💕💕💕💕

[peppertaemint]

Regarding your post in response to the question about ARMYs being chart-obsessed, I think the day artists stop making music with the sole purpose of charting, K-pop or otherwise, is the day that we get back to great, meaningful music. I think disregarding how anyone personally feels about Beyoncé, her artistry is something to be commended and if she were to focus so much on charts like other artists, I don’t think her music would have escalated the way that it has. I’m not the biggest fan of Renaissance in terms of music, but I can certainly appreciate the artistry of such an album (the composition, visuals on her tour, etc.), and she said it herself in one of her songs (I can’t remember which one), that if she cared about charts and numbers, she’d put all her music on Spotify. Idk, I’m sort of rambling at this point, but hopefully I was somewhat able to get my point across.

Hello Anon,

Yes, I understand your point well. I’m no Bey aficionado, but Renaissance has some absolute banger dance tracks on it. And I agree with you whole heartedly; when a song is specifically crafted for mass appeal and not to convey a certain artistic message, it can lose something.

Beyoncé’s costumes for the Renaissance tour are just outstanding. No one beats her or comes close.

Beyoncé makes music on her terms with unique artistic vision and oodles of creativity and distinct perspective - and people pick up on that. It’s what drives her hardcore fandom and keeps people like me, who are more on the periphery, in awe. The distinct perspective and having something to say (whatever that something is) are two things that set exceptional artists from the rest. Yes, it’s possible to be chart hungry and have something to say (Drake, I think, is a good example of that; man always has too much to say he’s so Toronto, sigh), but a lot of time artists, their management and labels are so focused on the achievement and money that the song becomes secondary.

When we connect with art in an intimate way, it’s usually because it’s showing us a dimension of our experience here on planet Earth. In the case of a song, it’s capturing ideas and feelings that can’t fully be capture by written or spoken word, nor by music in isolation. Songs are poetry that we can move to; we can feel them and express our selves through them. It makes me think of the advice that Taemin gave the NCT trainees on the NCT Universe: Lastart show. The trainees showed him their perfectly synchronised rendition of “Lucifer”, and he said that although the dance is synchronised, it’s missing something. The trainees needed to find a way to express themselves through the performance and make the performance theirs, even if the song isn’t.

Now I’m the one rambling, but the point I’m trying to make is that a lot of people can sing and dance and put on a good performance. They can put on a performance designed to appeal to as many people as possible and thus rake up as many dollars as possible. Or, they can take a risk and show something of themselves/their artistry that is genuine, even if that speaks to fewer people (at first, at least). The question remains as to what category an artist would rather be in: make the most money or make the most satisfying art? When you’re Beyoncé, though, you get to do both because you’re quite simply that outstanding.

[maryelizagreg]

Gonna lock in some studio hours, writing ✍️ with my bestie in Spanish why not? She’ll help me write the lyrics in Spanish.

Who wants a Spanish album from yours truly I do eh

Gonna do… some very simple jazzier chords and eh, richer vocals. I’m going for eh, a different sound than I’ve done before that’s much more jazz r&b

Something to soothe the soul with like morphine… this is how it will sound, so comforting and, wrapping you up like a hug. I want to convey that feeling, while also you know, speaking a truth in the lyrics that will be, something… that really, striking and, just true. To myself, and what however I felt at the time

I, do like the performance value as well so they’ll be written purposefully to be very musically flexible eh, across several different styles. So yes each song will have, dozens of versions of itself

But the bones will be bare and soothing, alone, and the rest you layer on top later for a different style or spin on it

But as long as the bones are really good, it’s, it can be written purposefully so… they can be dressed up or down any way you like the music so.

Eh, it’s a very intentional vision, I’m going to bring in a New Orleans flare to it because this is a beautiful heart of jazz,

I…. Sigh. Lol, I’m working myself to the bone with this music, and on, vocal lessons, and, just throwing everything I’ve got at it because

I really want to record, albums I want to create the physical music, I want the product to be completed and then, you know, keep working on more and more… and never stop…

And not necessarily always, my own personal recordings but, produce music in general, for anyone. For any purpose, you know. Eh

I’ve been studying the music theory behind the jazz style on guitar, guitar and piano in general… learning blues, learning r&b but, these are my original roots and my passion… though I do like genre bending a bit

When it comes to jazz I don’t, think you need to mess it up really but just leave it like it is and it’s best that way. Whole and pure.

And yes you know what I’m obsessed with music and not a lot of people will understand but there’s people who do, who I’m fortunate to know. And I’m very excited to continue working with them, and supporting them, and the community around, anywhere, everywhere, as much as I can.

I love, music, I love my fellow musicians, you are all such wonderful people and. I’m just glad to be a part of it all. It’s a wonderful life to live, or, a wonderful part of my life, anyway.

People are multi-faceted because they have to be now a days… but yeah. If I could pick one thing, it would be music.

I don’t care if I’m horrible, no talent, can’t write for shit, sound like a dying cat- and everyone despises me and the music I create- throws tomatoes at me for it

I… love it that much that I will do it anyway even if it’s terrible. The end result isn’t always going to be perfect eh, not everyone’s born with talent. But that doesn’t mean anything like,

If you like to play- play. If you love it. Love it. If singing brings you solace, and uplifts your soul- sing.

If you can be lucky enough to, bring peace or, happiness, belonging, to raise the vibration of, others around you- that is a gift you know and you can do that a lot of ways not just with music but

If you do this with music, I would say if you are a performer type musician (which we aren’t all that type) then you have done your job.

I’m co sidering calling this studio album “ugly” haha, and letting that kind of be my thing. Because I always feel ugly, and I don’t know.

I want to… I never had any ideas for an album title really that resonated with me that much before till I thought of the word ugly, I like it because. It’s just the truth, of how I feel and, owning that mixing and mastering it into a cd or whatever.

I think is an interesting concept? To… rather than embrace the status quo of femininity but kind of recognize there is beauty in imperfection.

It’s ugly on purpose. It’s not unheard of there’s lots of artists and people in music history, entire genres created around this concept eh- niche parts of the internet, embracing the ugly on purpose aesthetic.

I like something about this, it’s alternative in its own way, eh… it’s true to the era I come from,

But I also love the glamor of the 60s and, Elvis and his fine suits and bow ties, and striking dark features, you know- and Amy winehouses glamour as well, is beautiful. I love the various styles she’d been inspired by musically and aesthetically as an artist over time, and the collection of fine fine albums and things she learned from musically, and otherwise. In combination with training massive talent and some support dedication etc it created something just absolutely beautiful, no one can deny.

It has always my goal to continue to eh, be a bit experimental and tread into uncharted territory create something unique

I feel really fortunate just for the people that have been on board with my nutty ideas and agreed to create alongside me or travel or do whatever weird thing I was doing and just going with it, and supporting me at times or at the very least not completely rejecting me

Eh, in my pursuits and studies, and performances… I realize you know this is where I like to be a lot of the time so.

I need the music like you need a drug you are severely addicted to, I know it sounds weird to say. It has a negative connatatjon. But what I’m saying is like…

There is a connection between artist and their art that is like a relationship.

I’d be really happy to continue to have the opportunity to write, more, and learn from, more people, hearing, new and different things, from all walks of life, everywhere, anywhere, past, present…

And thanks to the digital age I mean, music really can go on forever to evolve into a future form as well… so

It’s just very, very fun, the theory, the practice, the hours in the studio- getting everything just right- and then you know. Other people who request you to write something for a project for them, or, collaborating with other singer song writers and musicians, it’s, a never ending good, feeling, that

I love, I love to be a part of, so much so I’m

Willing to do the hard work, to make sacrifices eh, just to live my life that way, I am fulfilled in it simply in the act of being in that very present moment there with the song at hand and the creative process, as much as the end result-

Even if, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea it’s not, the reason I love it,

Music is just something I happen to love and, if others happen to like it too. That’s all fine and dandy, I’d be more than glad to share it. If they don’t like it? That’s okay too. Hahah,

I love music regardless so, I am happy in that- I am happy with myself as an artist, imperfect, you know and. Maybe you aren’t Phillip glass or Amy wine house for god Saks, maybe a record label never gives much of a shit, it’s just.

I just like it, I like it all.

[existentialmagazine]

Review: TAVVI’s new bright indie offering ‘Complicated’ layers in a pained narrative of heartbreak, feeling catchy but sincere

Starting to make music from his family home just last year, the Eastbourne based musician TAVVI finds his musical spark always starts best in the familiarity of his house before cleaning things up in a studio. Influenced by Lauv, Khalid and Quinn XCII, TAVVI’s bright indie sound is one known to the masses but still distinctly his own and his addictive flair shines through his latest offering ‘Complicated’, setting a new standard for his style and sound.

Led in by floaty beats and synth-soaked keyboard keys, ‘Complicated’ immediately flows into an upbeat tempo for the opening verse that you can’t help but get whisked away in, lost to the atmospheric highs of the sounds. Deeper beats switch things up for the first choruses introduction, adding a funkier intermission whilst falling into more of a bold styling that’s picked up by emphatic little electric guitar bursts, all-together simple but perfectly conveying both the catchiness of sound and heaviness of the message behind it. Despite the song’s constant cheery outlook, TAVVI’s vocals add a more emotional edge to every pulsating instrumental, capturing a saddened edge in his tone that you can’t help but ache along with in how every word so clearly seeps with an emptiness behind it. The bridge builds-up with each instrumental rising and tensely leaving you awaiting their peak, creating a moment of heightened emotion before one final chorus sees things out. Bearing a completely contrasting feel throughout, it’s hard to decide whether to dance or cry along to ‘Complicated’ and that’s what makes it so special, as TAVVI so effortlessly interweaves the two stylings so whatever you’re feeling, you can get in the mood for.

Penned straight from the heart, TAVVI found himself writing ‘Complicated’ amidst the lows of the same situation its lyrics drew inspiration from, expressing the difficulties that come with the ending of a relationship but finding yourself still deeply caring for them and having difficulty letting go of all the ways they changed your life. As he looks to progress forward but still finds his memories lingering, lines like ‘it’s not easy when you move on, ‘cause everything we’ve done, it never mattered’ encapsulate the woes of heartbreak, almost regretting the time spent that’s gone to waste and finding trouble in watching them from afar doing better. Still wanting the best for his ex partner while every word shows he’s evidently hurting, TAVVI sings ‘you moved on, I’m happy to hear… I know you’re leaving me behind, it’s complicated but I’m fine’ expressing the double-sided feelings at play all throughout, yearning for their happiness while still tinged in a heartache that they’re no longer a part of his life. Hinting towards his own struggles too, lyrics like ‘no one would like who I’ve become’ also offer a self-awareness of TAVVI’s own mental health issues, determined to be better and pull himself out of the rut he’s been feeling stuck in. As the title expresses best, ‘Complicated’ is very much a narrative and experience that has and always will be overtly complicated, with TAVVI wonderfully interweaving the conflicting emotions that fight between one another all throughout a period of such an immeasurable low.

Check out ‘Complicated’ for yourself here to unpack the sweet but saddened lyrical message and bouncy indie sound TAVVI has interwoven so beautifully!

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[writing-for-marvel]

Carly thank you so much for your kind words, you've got me bawling my eyes out here 🥹🥹😭😭

I’m always up for spreading the love! Here is a non exhaustive list of some amazing writers I admire so much 💜💜

@drabblewithfrannybarnes Carly's Lucky Charms Hockey AU is so extensive and intricate, each of the boys stories are so unique. I'm blown away by the level of detail in this AU and how attached I am to each pairing so far. I haven't made my way through all of them yet, but so far my favourite has been Coach B and his sweetheart! Another one of my absolute favourites from Carly is My Best Friend, Jensen. Adore the angst of will they, won't they!

@flordeamatista my dearest friend, the Queen of poetic writing, as well as of Andy & Ari fics! I’m always floored by your beautiful ideas and all the twists and turns you manage to always surprise me with! There are so many of your fics I’m in love with, and some of which I’m honoured to have helped beta, but some of my favourites are Under the Blue (Park Ranger!Ari) and I Am His And He Is Mine (Andy Barber)

@intrepidacious Nika I love you and your writing so much, I treasure your friendship beyond words! I know Time After Time is your baby, and I’m so proud of how much love and effort you’ve put into that series. I love what I’ve read of it so far and can’t wait for you to break my heart with all the angst and then stitch it back together! Another favourite of mine is A Million Summers, the amount of emotion you convey in this fic and all your writing is glorious!

@crazyunsexycool there are so many of Val’s stories that I’m so utterly in love with! There’s something so sweet and comforting about the way you write your characters in love, like they find their home in each other and it gets me emotional every time! My absolute favourite is A Loving Sacrifice, I will never get over just how much I adore that story! A close runner up is Is It A Crime?

@jadedvibes little miss doesn’t think you can write angst but masterfully crushed my heart into a million pieces with your series Always! Your writing feels so sophisticated and polished, it’s like I’ve picked up a published book that I cannot put down. You have so many wonderful stories I could choose from to shoutout, but another favourite of mine is Happy When It Rains

@jobean12-blog sweet Jo there’s so much to say about your beautiful writing, but I think the thing that always makes me come back to your stories is the warm, fuzzy feeling I get in my chest whenever I read any of your fluff! Your stories always just make me feel so incredibly happy. I could name so many fics of yours I love, but a couple of my favourites are Nook of Love (Joel Miller) and Protecting What’s His (Beefy!Bodyguard!Bucky)

@holacia3 Cia I love you! You’re always so supportive and kind, but then also bless us with the best Joel fics! If you didn’t know already, my favourite is your Roommate Joel Collection (when I was grabbing the link I noticed I’ve missed a few instalments so I’m now super excited to catch up!) Another of your fics that I think shows your beautiful versatility as a writer is Interrupted

@slyyywriting I’ve had such a wonderful time starting your In The Circuit F1 AU, I adore the variation in all the couples dynamics, as well the threads you weave in each story that show they’re all connected. I can’t wait to read even more of this AU! Another story I adored from you is Might Even Be

@real-jane Kate you genuinely have some of the most immaculate writing I think I’ve ever read. When I read the first part of Detectives In Love, I knew that there was something so special about your writing talent, and every fic I have read of yours has absolutely blown me away, including Poet Laureate

@targaryenvampireslayer Suz I look up to you so much as a writer and person, you’re so full of talent and have written so many gems (like On My Mind and Surprise, that Sam fic continues to be such a comforting favourite!), but always ensure you are supporting writers and lifting others up!

Let's spread some positivity! Tag some of your fellow content creators here and let them know why they are absolutely amazing!❤️

I love it. Let's do this! In no particular order (since I'm going to answer this before attempting writing for a while), we have:

@drabblewithfrannybarnes probably doesn't know how long I've been reading her hockey series, but she also cannot fathom my excitement that she read and reviewed a single thing I've written, much less dozens. I tear up every time, and the acceptance it makes me feel as a fic writer is...indescribable.

@navybrat817 and @darkficsyouneveraskedfor --Navy and Roo have been doing amazing things with their Sleepover efforts. The support and encouragement they've been providing to so many in our community is just fantastic, and while I'm sad I haven't been up to participating more, they deserve every shoutout and accolade. Trophies for you lovelies!

🏆🏆

@peyton--warren works so f--king hard on each and every posted work that I'm inspired to always rethink and be better. She considers so many facets of characters and plot that I know I'm getting a treat of a read!

@jamneuromain --where to start?? The RANGE on this lovely's writing is phenomenal. So many universes in one head; I don't know how to keep up! I could never imagine half of those scenarios, but I hope to one day come close. 💜

@darsynia is my personal convert to a Steve Rogers fan lol, and she's nipping at my heels to overtake me. I can hear her loving screams in comments now! But in all sincerity, everyone should know that I would not be here or writing today without her. She's my rock and her talent is off the charts. 🔥😘

@anika-ann feels like a long-lost sister. We love the same aspects of Steve (+other characters), and I know we both work tirelessly to bring that to the page in a bunch of different ways. She's PROLIFIC, too, and I bow down to how fast she whips out her quality fics. Again, a complete inspiration!

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork is a sweetheart who writes us as humans and I adore every word. Her Curtis series is my happy place, and I am forever grateful. It's a real-life boost of worth and encouragement.

Thank you for asking!

a/n: This is by no means an extensive and complete list of those who whose work I adore on this and other platforms. If you feel I missed you or someone else, I will happily add and correct!

[sunjakes]

cuddling with enha ♡

pairing: enhypen x gn!reader genre: established relationships, pure unadulterated fluff warnings: intended lowercase, mentions of food, jake is majorly whipped, not proofread so bare with me if there's any errors word count: 2k a/n: i haven't written proper fanfiction in forever so i am so sorry if this is bad LMAO i’ll get better i promise

↪︎ lee heeseung 이희승

peak boyfriend material, we already knew.

heeseung loves holding you so much :(

he swears he could die a happy man the second his arms meet your waist

and he makes sure you’re aware of that

you’re in the kitchen making ramen for the both of you?

heeseung has you in a back hug, pressing soft kisses to your hair

“hee, go sit down, it’s almost ready-” “why don’t we just stay in here?~”

so you did .

you both split the ramen and ate with him leaning against the countertop, still holding you as close to him as he could while still being able to eat

even when he’s playing games with another member

heeseung insists on having you in his lap, his chin resting on your shoulder as he plays

he covers your face in kisses whenever he wins a round

“y/n look, you’re like my lucky charm~”

he only laughs at your flustered reaction when he hears the other boy in the room fake gagging at his pda

and on the days where he’s just exhausted from work, he likes to be the little spoon

you thought it was impossible to love him more than you already did, but you seem to fall for him harder every time he asks you to hold him

he rests his head on your chest and you hold him just like he holds you every other day

and he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.

he 100% ends up falling asleep to the pace of your heartbeat sometimes

you can’t help but run your fingers through his hair and you probably pass out too

you keep him sane and grounded, so he makes sure to give you all the love in the world in return :)

↪︎ park jongseong 박종성

jay is such a romantic oh my god

whenever you’re in his vicinity, he has to have an arm around your waist

it’s completely subconscious for him too

he’ll just be having a conversation with jake in the living room

and as soon as you sit next to him on the couch, his arm snakes around you that same second

he’d be the kind of boyfriend to keep his hand in your back pocket while you’re walking in public

he doesn’t even mean it in a sexual or intimate way

it’s almost like he wants to be sure that you’re there next to him

if you two have a movie night at the dorms, he has an arm draped over your shoulders and holds your hand

he likes to play with your fingers too

he absolutely loves holding you close to him while you’re laying in bed

his hands gently run along your sides or your back and he ghosts little patterns along your shirt with his fingers

he’s always pressing the softest kisses to your temple or forehead and uses them to wordlessly get your attention

and when you look up at him he’s literally looking at you with the epitome of heart eyes

he is so deeply in love with you and doesn’t understand how he managed to have someone like you in his life

so all he can think to do is cup your face and pull you into the longest yet softest kiss to try and convey those thoughts to you

he pulls away with the softest “i love you~” and you swear your heart is about to implode

↪︎ sim jaeyun 심재윤

everyone and their mother knows that jake sim is the ultimate cuddle bug !!

i swear that boy wants to be next to you literally 24/7

he’s the type to send clingy texts with pouty selfies

“i miss you, love :(“ or “i can’t wait to see my baby again” when he has practices or schedules brb crying .

but when both of y’all are free …

oh boy he will immediately call to invite you over .

and as soon as he hears the door start to open, he is right there in front of you

he’s smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen

which to him, you absolutely are

in a matter of seconds you’re in his arms

and he’s definitely the type to pick up/spin his partner when he’s feeling extra clingy :(

instantly heads towards the couch or his bed if he’s super tired

covers you both with a blanket and wraps his arms around you, holding you as close to him as he can without suffocating you

this includes him burying his face into the crook of your neck and refusing to move even an inch

he loves to press the softest kisses to your shoulder and neck

you hear soft mumbles of “i missed you so much, angel” and “i love you” and he always means it

and if you respond with “i love you too, jakey~” or any pet name/variation on his name

he just becomes a puddle of love (and you can hear his little giggles coming from the crook of your neck)

he somehow manages to pull you even closer to him

↪︎ park sunghoon 박성훈

i swear everyone seems to picture hoon as this super shy “too scared to do anything around anyone” type of boyfriend

and i mean

do i think its cute?

yes, absolutely .

like yeah i know sunghoon’s an introvert

but i don’t think he’s that reserved when it comes to pda with his s/o

i can picture you in his lap as y’all watch movies in the dorms

one of his hands is in yours, gently rubbing and drawing patterns on your skin with his thumb

the other’s gently running through your hair as you rest your head on his shoulder

or he’s like heeseung and rests his chin on your shoulder while he wraps his arms around your waist

and like jay, he loves to press soft kisses to your temple or your shoulder

when you guys are alone though?

this boy lets out all his affection

i'm talking kisses all over your face

if he's in a super good mood, he'll just pick you up and head straight to go cuddle in bed

he more than likely pokes any spots where you're ticklish on the way to his bedroom

when you whine at him for tickling you he tries to hide his laugh by cupping your face and pressing more kisses to your nose and cheeks

after a while he stops and whispers a soft "sorry, baby~" and pulls you close to his chest as he lays down

you just roll your eyes and bury your face in his chest and his hand instantly moves to stroke your hair

he hears you mutter "you're lucky you're cute, park..." but he can tell by the way that you lean into his touch that you're not genuinely upset with him

sunghoon just smiles and presses a kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you

"i love you too~"

↪︎ kim sunoo 김선우

THIS BOY LOVES NOTHING MORE THAN TO HUG YOU

sunoo is just a big ball of love and sunshine

he gives you the tightest hugs whenever you visit him at the dorms

"wah, angel, you're here!!" he's absolutely beaming as you walk through the door, a similar smile easily making it's way to your face

very similar to jake and instantly pulls you to go cuddle

as soon as you both are laid down, he kisses your cheek before asking you every question under the sun about how your day was

he wants to know every single detail

and when you start to tell him, his only focus is on the words leaving your lips

makes direct eye contact with you, nodding and letting out quiet hums to let you know that he's genuinely listening

cups your cheek after you finish and presses a gentle kiss to your lips

depending on how your day went, it either is a short peck before he starts to relay details about his own day

or it lasts a little bit longer before he pulls away with a small pout, offering to give you advice for any gripes you may have had

you rest your head on his chest, quickly finding comfort in his heartbeat and the vibrations of his voice in his chest

he smiles as he hugs you closer, clearly realizing you were a few minutes from falling asleep

you hum as he starts to run his fingers through your hair, and the last thing you hear before falling into a content sleep is "nap well, my pretty baby~"

↪︎ yang jungwon 양정원

jungwon tries to stay chill and collected whenever you stop by the dorms when the members are still around

he knows how those boys will take any chance they get to poke fun at their beloved leader

so when he sees you walk through the door, he decides to give you a tight hug, pressing a discreet kiss to your forehead

typically the most pda he does around the other members is holding your hand, rubbing soft circles against your skin with his thumb

but if they had to record and he was the first one back to the dorms, you better believe he's inviting you over to watch movies and cuddle

as you both sit on the couch with popcorn and sweets, he instantly pulls you into his arms

he smiles as he presses a soft kiss to your lips, resting his head on your shoulder before starting the movie

"you're so cute, won~" you laugh quietly and press a quick kiss to his cheek, cuddling closer to him as he tightens his hold on you

he chuckles before covering you both with a blanket

"what, am i not allowed to enjoy some peace and quiet with my partner whom i love so dearly?~" he asks, praying that you both will have time to finish the movie before any other members return home

you roll your eyes and rest your head against his chest, fighting the urge to laugh as you catch a glimpse of niki opening the door in the reflection of the tv screen

"JAY HYUNG !! JUNGWON HYUNG IS BEING ALL LOVEY DOVEY WITH Y/N AGAIN"

jungwon just sighs loudly and buries his face in the crook of your neck, making you laugh uncontrollably as he hugs you closer to him

"i really thought we were safe this time..." your laughter starts to die down as you run your fingers through his hair, feeling him smile slightly against your neck

"it'll never be safe, mr. leader~" he laughs at your response, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead as the two of you go back to your movie

↪︎ nishimura riki 西村力

i feel like niki would either be similarly clingy to jake, or he wouldn't initiate a single thing

and once he sees you all pouty, he instantly hops on the opportunity to poke fun

"aww, is my y/nnie all clingy?~" he coos, cupping your cheeks and squishing them forward

you just huff and playfully glare at him, freeing yourself from his hold on your cheeks as you bury your face in his chest

"shut up and hug me, nishimura..." you mutter and he laughs, instantly wrapping his arms around your figure

"your wish is my command, needy~" he continues to tease you as he leads the two of you towards the couch

pulling you into his lap as he sits down, he smiles as he pets your hair, hearing you let out a content hum

you cuddle as close to him as you possibly can, his free arm wrapping itself around your waist

but when niki's the one feeling clingy, his personality completely swaps

you'd be sitting at your desk, working on schoolwork

and suddenly from across the room

"y/nnnnnnnn i wanna cuddleeeeeeeeeee" niki huffs, the pout evident in his tone

you bite back a quiet laugh, refusing to turn to look at him so you wont fall into his trap

"give me just a few minutes, riki, i'm almost done~" you respond

but that clearly wasn't what he wanted to hear

within thirty seconds, you feel niki rest his head on your shoulder

"y/n come onnnnnnn you've been working foreverrrr~"

you start to giggle as niki practically drags you away from your desk, crashing onto your bed and pulling you on top of him

"i missed you..." he mumbles, burying his face in your neck

you run your fingers through his hair, playfully rolling your eyes

"look who's the needy one now... i started my work ten minutes ago..."

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @blamebrampton

Anyone who’s been following me for a while knows I worship the ground BB walks on. She’s probably among my top 3 Drarry fic authors of all time and I can confidently say I’ve read her catalogue in its entirety but curiously enough, I still get the same thrill of joy and excitement revisiting her works once twice thrice a month. BB’s narrative is very unique with nuanced and refreshing characterization, and organic witty humour playing in an effective, effortlessly charming and clever way that feels magical. It creates immersive universes and atmospheres that invite you to lose yourself into, different from anything I’ve read before or since. Beyond the incredible world building, her dialogue is a thing of beauty in itself, delightful and brilliant, packing just enough emotional resonance to make you wanna scream after a particularly clever line. It makes my job to find a quote for my recs so much more challenging! The feeling of first exploring BB’s world is exquisite and her masterful characterization never fail to impress me, it’s truly genius.

It was almost impossible to make a short list of hidden gems and it hurt my soul to stray from so many personal faves since they’re a bit more popular. But I’m sticking to the rules and that means highlighting fics that could use more attention. Words usually fail me when I’m trying to convey how much I love certain fics so feel free to check the single recs I’ve linked below - if you’re willing to suffer through my rambling thoughts, that is! I’m sure I’ve recced most of her catalogue at this point. And please please go check it ASAP, if you haven’t yet. These fics have stayed with me for many years now, they helped me through dark days and still comfort my heart whenever I need solace in fandom, I can’t imagine letting go of them anytime soon. I think of them now, 10 years after they’ve been written, and I’ll be thinking of them for the next 10 years. If you’re having one of those days - or just looking for a new obsession a special, one-of-a-kind reading experience - you can’t pick a better author. Go check these right now then come into my DMs to scream about Little Red Courgette all of them! You’re welcome 😉

And Save Me From Bloody Men (2010, T, 10k) - the only war AU you’ll ever need to read, a true masterpiece of characterization and building tension with tender Drarry romance, badass redeemed Draco and a breathtaking open ending that will make you gasp out loud. A must read!

Draco Malfoy once watched others fighting to stop the world falling apart. This time, he's not just watching. Read my rec here.

Tidings of Comfort (2012, G, 10k) - this cathartic series is on my top 3 fave comfort fics, beautifully quiet and cathartic. Featuring a redeemed Draco and a gentle curious Harry, late night conversations and

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover. Read my rec here.

Of Hoof Picks, Centaurs and Flight (2012, G, 21k) - such a charming and fun adventure, I can’t get enough of it! Perfect Draco, lots of banter, centaurs, flying cars and the good old bed sharing trope 👌🏼

Harry has promised that he will not do anything to upset the new head of Magical Creatures. Even if it is Draco Malfoy. When three centaur foals appear in Cumbria, far from the Forbidden Forest and all too close to Muggles, Harry’s promise is thoroughly tested. To say nothing of his equestrian skills. Read my rec here.

For the Public Good (2008, T, 23k) - a brilliant satire of British politics and definitely a must-read if you’re into this genre. BB gets Draco’s snark just right and the banter is fabulous, not to mention the creative world building as per usual. Fun, smart, flirty, highly entertaining!

Harry is loaned to the Muggle government to assist relations between the two governments after the London bombings. When his counterpart in the Communications team comes to him with evidence of a plot to expose wizarding Britain, he is all ears. And only in part because the messenger has such a familiar voice.

Doing the Lambeth Walk (2012, T, 26k) - brilliant urban drama with fabulous world building, soft Draco and Harry doing good deeds and finding each other, slow burn, some family drama and non-graphic violence

There are only three traditional choices for the cashed-up hero after victory. Harry Potter is too young to settle down and provide the wizarding world with a happy ending, and has too acute a sense of humour to spiral downwards into a spectacular flame-out. That leaves a life of good works. Choosing to lead it in Muggle Brixton comes with its own set of challenges, including Malfoys in the biscuit aisle. Read my rec here.

Beneath Boundless Skies (2008, T, 29k) - imho this fic is a the testament to BB’s storytelling skills as it will make you laugh, cry and fall in love within minutes. What a rollercoaster of emotions! Set in the Australian landscape it delivers brilliant OCs, organic character dynamics, and the most touching, heart wrenching funeral scene. A gorgeous and poignant post-war recovery story.

Home is a world filled with funerals, a girlfriend who can't bear the sight of you, and people who are convinced you came back from the dead. Bugger it, even Australia sounds good.

The Consolations of a Summer's Day (2012, T, 32k) - this is such a delightful and well put together case fic, I adore Harry and Draco’s dynamics right from the start and how circumstances push them closer. Subtle romance, alternating POVs, a perfect Luna and a hilarious Kreacher as a treat! Cw: character death (Pansy)

Harry Potter is absolutely certain Draco Malfoy did not murder Pansy Parkinson. He’s almost absolutely certain he can prove this without sacrificing his career and having them both hauled up before the Wizengamot.

[ynscrazylife]

Can I please please request one where Natasha and Yelena have another younger sister (Y/N) and she gets badly injured and her older sisters are hysterical since they’re afraid to lose one they love the most

A Race Against Time | romanoff fam fic

Summary: Natasha and Yelena do their best to help their hurt younger sister.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting!

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/twitalents

“Everybody alright?” Natasha asked as Alexei and Melina approached her and Yelena. The redhead herself definitely hadn’t gotten out of the whole ordeal without injuries. In fact, from Dreykov punching her to the fight against the Widows, and the fight against Antonia (not to mention the injuries from the past few days that she hadn’t taken care of), she was in some pain. However she didn’t worry about herself, she knew she’d be fine. She always was.

Natasha glanced over and spotted Y/N making her way over to them, too. From the distance, Natasha couldn’t tell that she was limping and was very hurt.

“I am clearly injured,” Melina deadpanned, causing Natasha to look back over and send her adoptive mother a smile as an apology. With a quick glance, Natasha could tell that she’d be okay, she’d just need a cast on that ankle and-

Thump.

The sound, accompanied by Yelena’s loud gasp and yelp, broke through Natasha’s thoughts and caused her to whip around suddenly. The sight her eyes landed on instantly sent what felt like an ice shard plunging into her chest. No. No.

By the time she snapped out of it, Yelena was already by Y/N’s unconscious figure, which the thump must have been - her plummeting to the ground - and Alexei was helping Melina over as fast as he could. Natasha sped past them and dropped to her knees, her brain wired to already be processing the situation and formulating a plan, while she lightly stopped Yelena’s wrist to prevent her from going to shake Y/N.

“You don’t move someone who is unconscious unless necessary - it could injure them,” she breathed out. Yelena, who could see that her older sister was in autopilot mode, sat back and let her do her thing, opting to look up at her parents, instead.

Both their eyes were glued to Y/N. Alexei’s eyebrows crinkled and, after taking a big breath, muttered (just loud enough for them to hear), “There’s blood on you.”

Natasha’s eyes snapped down and sure enough, her knees were bloodied. She quickly looked up only to see blood beginning to come from Y/N’s stomach where she had fallen on her side. Closing her eyes for a moment to allow herself to think, Natasha carefully and gently pulled up Y/N’s shirt, only to see an open gash in the shape of the Widow hourglass.

“Wha-?” She said, barely forming a word, and Yelena leaned over to see.

She immediately began shaking her head and pushed Y/N onto her back. “I-I know what this is, I think. I remember hearing about a weapon that’d leave that mark,” she rambled out.

Melina peered over Natasha’s shoulder and when she saw it, her face went pale. “That-that weapon, it ejects a blast that makes that mark when it meets the skin. It was made as a precaution in case any of the Widows went rogue - it was made years ago. But only a few were made because they were so confident in themselves. It-it goes along with a process they constructed to re-brainwash the Widows. The blast gets under her skin, in her body, with a chemical that’s in it, and that chemical starts the brainwashing process,” she explained.

A park of hope entered Yelena’s eyes. “So she won’t be fully brainwashed?” She asked.

“Not without the rest of the procedure,” Melina began, but then her eyes widened when she remembered something and horror quickly flashed across her face. “But if the process isn’t completed within a certain time period, the chemical will wear off its brainwashing effects and instead will start hurting her . . . A lot . . . But I have an antidote-” her tone sped up now, “-It’s back at the house. We need to get her there.”

Natasha and Yelena nodded, both having gone through a great wave of emotions throughout Melina’s words. Yelena, while racked with worry, still remained hopeful, and Natasha did her best to be, too, but her tears were drying and she was sniffling.

“The jet is-” Alexei began to say, when the sound of the engines of cars rapidly approaching cut him off.

Natasha looked over. “Shit, Ross,” she said, regretting even tipping him off to their location in the first place.

Melina bit her lip. “You girls go. Take Y/N home. The antidote is labelled ‘Ant-Widow,’,” she told them firmly.

Yelena’s lips parted to protest, not wanting to split up, but catching Natasha picking up Y/N out of the corner of her eye stopped her. She nodded, rising to her feet.

“We’ll distract them. They won’t want anything to do with us when they realize you’re not here,” Melina insisted.

Natasha sent her a look that she could only hope was conveying everything she wanted it to. A million thoughts whizzed about in her mind, none making room for each other. She wondered, would they leave them alone? Or would they be taken into questioning? Shouldn’t she be the one facing Ross - since she called him there? Is Y/N going to be okay? Will they get there in time?

By the way Melina looked back at her, Natasha thought that her message had been received. There was no time to go over the plan any longer, if they stayed even a couple more seconds they’d get caught by Ross, whose army of cars headed to a halt.

Natasha bolted off in the jet’s direction, Yelena quick on her heels. They rushed inside and Natasha took her time to gently put Y/N down before going to the pilot seat. Yelena sat down in the back, wanting to watch over their little sister.

Neither of them said anything until Natasha had gotten them off the ground and away from the field. Yelena could hear the engine whirring and she knew that Natasha was going as fast as this aircraft could probably go.

“Natasha,” she said, her voice small and hesitant, reminding Natasha of her own self when she was younger. The redhead braced herself for her sister’s words. “Do you think we’ll get there in time?”

Natasha let out a slow yet steady breath, fighting back the urge to tell her not to say that. She wondered the same thing, and she hated it. She didn’t answer, though, because she didn’t want to lie. She didn’t know herself, and she also hated that.

Yelena looked down in defeat when she didn’t get an answer and continued watching Y/N. She couldn’t stop herself from worrying and when she spotted the other injuries — bruises, cuts, scrapes — littering her body, she got up and went to the back.

The blonde grabbed the med kit they had stored and went back, quickly opening it up and getting everything she needed. First, bandages. Yelena put pressure on the wound even though she knew it wouldn’t bleed out, and a twinge of guilt hit her when Y/N moved and groaned unconsciously.

She then wrapped up Y/N’s stomach and tended to her other injures, every so often glancing at Natasha, who she could see by the way she was sitting up straight that she was tense. Upset. Worried. Yelena had to admit she was feeling those same things but busied herself by taking care of Y/N.

This carried on and they were about ¾ there when everything shifted. Y/N, who had been mostly quiet throughout the journey, suddenly rolled onto her side, eyes opening with a startled gasp.

Natasha frantically looked up at Yelena and the latter jumped to resolve the situation. Gently, she put her hands on her younger sister’s shoulders and tried to turn her onto her back, but Y/N fought her off and scurried back, against the wall.

“Y/N,” Yelena said, slowly putting her hands up in a “surrender” gesture.

The younger one shook her head as tears began to flow down her cheeks. “It-it hurts,” she got out, wrapping her arms around herself.

Yelena sent Natasha a frightened, desperate look and the glint in Natasha’s eyes held tears in them. “I can’t go any faster!” She cried out in frustration, her anger at her helplessness beginning to grow.

Yelena turned back to Y/N. “Take deep breaths with me, okay?” She said, and took a couple deep breaths to show her. It took Y/N a second, but she followed along. However, the pain didn’t take a break for long, and quickly came crashing back to her, like a magnet.

She let out another cry, but this one filled with that much more anguish, desperation, a pure rage from wanting it to be over, a rage that nearly caused her to vomit. Y/N leaned forward, hoping that there was something - anything - that could relieve this pain for even just a second. The warmth she was soon filled with from her older sister’s arms wrapping around her and pulling her close did nothing to soothe pain, but she found someone to have a steady grip on, someone to hold.

This continued on. In every cry let out, Yelena could’ve sworn each one was louder than the last. She didn’t know what to do so she did the only thing she could and stayed there. After  a particularly loud cry from Y/N, Yelena couldn’t stop a “Natasha!” from escaping.

“I’m trying!” She shouted over the engine and over Y/N, doing her best to blink away the tears and focus, but everytime she was on the brink of it, something tore her away.

After what felt like what could only be described as eons, Natasha managed to touch down in the same spot she had just a day ago. The moment they made contact, she leapt out of her seat, nearly tumbling to the floor, and practically fell against the door.

“Stay with her,” was all she said to Yelena before pushing all her weight against the door and breaking off into a run towards the house.

Natasha had run fast before. To escape Antonia, on countless SHIELD missions, and even to beat Sam in a race, but none amounted to this. The mountains and trees whipped by so fast that she felt like she was in a race car and it made her head spin. Nonetheless (and she thanked her extensive training for that), Natasha’s stamina held out and she ran through the house, tripping over things and knocking others over, until she reached Melina’s office.

At first, everything looked like a normal office space for a normal business woman, but the underlying science and spy secrecy that she knew had to be inside was revealed. Cabinets upon cabinets filled with vials upon vilas and files upon files. She scoured the entire room and nearly dropped the green-filled file when she saw its label. This was it.

A moment of victory passed until Natasha remembered the weight of the situation and she got back on her feet, running like the wind, and leaving behind the office looking like some raccoons had gotten inside.

By the time she reached the top of the hill, Natasha could make out the outline of Yelena carrying Y/N (who was draped over her like a curtain, by the way) toward her.

They met in the middle and Yelena put Y/N down, the older sisters kneeling beside her. Y/N was half-conscious at this point and Natasha moved at the speed of light to get the vial lid off. “She was getting worse, I couldn’t wait!” Yelena yelled.

When she got it open, Natasha pushed it towards Y/N’s lips. “Y/N, honey, c’mon, you gotta drink,” she encouraged, hand trembling as Y/N attempted to fight her off. It was only Yelena running her hands through her hair that calmed her down, and she took a small sip of the vial’s contents at first before gulping it down.

When she stopped squirming and seemed to no longer be in pain, instead falling into a peaceful sleep, that’s when both Natasha and Yelena had calmed down. It had been a rollercoaster, but they did it, and she was okay. The two held each other, relieved.  

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[apparitionism]

Appreciation 4

“All the AUs”... I’ve written a few, and they always make me recall words from Elaine Scarry that I used in an essay about such things a while ago: “Beauty brings copies of itself into being.” An AU is a particular sort of copy, one that may be wildly inflectionary...  also I personally prefer AUs, much of the time, because I think Joanne Kelly and Jaime Murray would be well served by appearing together in non-Warehouse contexts that make use of their sparking magic.

This fourth stave of appreciation follows “Architecture,” “Bridge,” and “Worry.”

House

Elizabeth Bishop, “Sestina.” New Yorker 15 Sept. 1956: 46.

With crayons the child draws a rigid house / and a winding pathway.

****

Myka Bering is selling her house. She has lived in it for two years, but it is simply the wrong space, and its wrongness has become too much to bear.

When she conveys her decision to her friend (and real estate agent) Pete Lattimer, he says, with gloom, “And you blame me because I sold you the house in the first place. And because I sold you on the house. Because I said I had a feeling.”

Myka assures him this shouldn’t be his worry; the house just didn’t work out. On the other hand, she doesn’t tell him that she’s disappointed, even though she is. It isn’t that she really believes that any feeling Pete has is really some communication of real meaning, something from elsewhere... but he’s in the past had an uncanny ability to steer himself and his friends toward productive choices.

But, okay, not this time.

Pete concedes it’s a good time to sell: “Hot market,” he tells Myka.

“You just like saying ‘hot,’” she accuses, and he grins.

****

Barely seventy-two hours after he lists the house, he shows up at her door—but she’s trying to stop thinking of it as “her” door—and announces with glee, “You got a love letter.”

She can’t have heard him right. “I got a what?”

“From a buyer. Saying how much they love the house so you should pick their offer. Toldya the market was hot.”

“Is that a thing?” she asks. She certainty didn’t write a letter to the previous owner of this place; everything was very straightforward: offer, escrow, inspection, close.

“Huge thing in markets that are hot.” He repeats it, “Hot hot hot!”, and giggles. “Kind of a sliding scale of realness to ’em though—you get your flippers pretending they’re gonna take such good care of the place all the way to people so, like, heartfelt, you just want to hand over the keys on the spot. Normally I wouldn’t even show it to you.”

“But?”

He shrinks back a little from the threshold, like a cowed vampire. “You’ll hate me, but I got a feeling.”

Myka sighs. “Hand it over.”

“I gotta be up front about this,” he tells her, not quite apologetically. “You’ll get multiple offers. Some’ll be better than this one.”

“Don’t tease me with a feeling and then wimp out. Hand it over.”

“Promise not to blame me if you leave money on the table?”

She laughs. “Are you insane? No.”

“Fair,” he says. He places in her hand a creamy envelope addressed simply to “Myka Bering.” Then he waggles his fingers in goodbye and scoots away, as if the faster he moves, the lesser the consequences.

****

The letter is written in a precise, not-quite-cursive hand.

Dear Ms. Bering,

  A letter such as this may be viewed as manipulative, my Realtor tells me; she tells me also, however, that they can succeed in influencing a sale. I do want to influence you, for I would very much like to buy your house. No, I should be more specific: I feel that I need to buy your house, so that my child and I can live in it.

  Allow me to explain. My mother, with whom we have lived since Christina was born, passed away some months ago, and due to difficulties with the estate, her house had to be sold. We are thus both contending with loss, but Christina more so than I: not only of her grandmother, but also of her only home.

  We’re seeking a bridge—from our previous life to a new one, from grief to... I’d say “acceptance,” but neither of us is yet able to imagine that such a state exists.

  And yet in this house—your house—I feel a difference. It may not be the right difference; that, only time can reveal. But Christina asked me, upon walking in, “How does this one make you feel? Do you feel okay?” and I had to acknowledge that I did, while adding a caveat that I was unsure what “okay” meant in the present moment. I asked her the same question, and she answered, “It makes me feel like I know what okay means in the present moment.”

At that, Myka has to stop reading, because it is exactly what she’d hoped for, in this house, and exactly what had eluded her.

That may seem a bit koan-esque, but the fact of the matter is, Christina is seven years old and far wiser than I.

Apparently I needed a seven-year-old around to tell me what was what, Myka thinks.

  In conclusion, lest you think my feelings about your house are entirely metaphysical: the kitchen, to my eyes, is a marvel. The available information indicates it is your remodel, and I applaud your choices, as does Christina. She said, and I quote, “I like the stove. It looks new. The right kind of new. Like someday it will be old.”

  Forgive me for turning to her words again, but I find them more meaningful than my own, and I hope you will as well. Or is it evidence only of further attempted manipulation?

  If so, I hope it works.

  Sincerely (if that doesn’t, in context, seem too much of an oxymoron),

  Helena Wells

****

Myka calls Pete. “Is the offer reasonable?” she asks. “The one with the letter?”

“I guess. But like I said, you’ll get—”

“Still got your feeling?”

“Why are you making me say it? Yeah, I still got my feeling.”

“Feel anything about my Viking stove?”

“I feel like I was right to tell you to pay through the nose for it when you redid the kitchen, because it fits the architecture so pretty. Better than anything cheaped-out would’ve. I also feel like you used it that one time to cook—well, ‘cook’—that Thanksgiving turkey till we all could’ve used it to play touch football in the backyard and had to order pizza for dinner. And then I feel like you never used it again. I could be wrong, but I hope not.”

Myka would like to be able to be mad at him about the Thanksgiving description, but he’s entirely right. About all of it. “Take the offer,” she tells him. “I think I know why you had your feeling, first about me buying this place and then about the letter: they need this house.”

****

In addition to her little-used (but extremely aesthetically pleasing) Viking stove, Myka leaves for Helena Wells and her daughter another item she hopes will be of interest: the small almanac she discovered in the attic some months after moving in. It belongs to the house, not to her.

It’s a 1911 facsimile of Poor Robin’s almanac, published by Ben Franklin’s older brother James. (Myka of course researched its provenance.) It proclaims itself to be “The Rhode-Island almanack. For the year, 1728. Being bissextile, or leap-year.”

She determines she should leave a note in the homely little book: her own “love letter,” as it were, to the almanac itself, to the house, and to its new inhabitants. She’s not quite sure what to say, given that she doesn’t need to persuade anyone of anything... It’s just a document of existence, she tells herself, so she tries to write some things that are true.

Dear Helena and Christina Wells,

  It’s only fair that I answer your letter, given that it’s why you’re here. First, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m thankful that this house was here when you needed it, certainly at first, and if this letter finds you settled in the way you want to be, I’m of course even happier.

  I’m glad also that you’ve now come across this almanac, which has clearly lived in the attic here for some time. It captivated me from the moment I saw it, mostly because its title taught me a new word, and I love anything that can do that.

  You’ll notice that the pages are worn. That’s not my doing, but I did think it was a little strange that a reprint, not even the original useful thing, was so handled.

  Then again, once you fight through the colonial typography and spelling, there’s a lot of useful guidance. For example, here’s October’s instruction: “Now button your Garments close, for the Cold comes insensibly, and oft times begets a whole Winter’s Cold. Consult your Taylors as well as Physicians.” Which reminds me to warn you—or maybe you’ve already discovered—that even though I added more insulation, there’s some draftiness, so around October, the warmth of your Garments will come to seem pretty important.

  There are also some lovely natural-world auguries. Here’s my favorite: “When the Owl scrietcheth in foul weather, it is a Token of fair weather at Hand.” I have to admit I’ve never heard an owl around here, but ever since I read that, I’ve felt myself hoping, when storms come. As they do.

  Whatever would signify fair weather for you two, I hope you hear it in this house.

  Sincerely,

  Myka Bering

P.S. I’m envisioning you using the stove, insofar as I can envision people I’ve never seen, and I think it’s very happy to be used. I think it wants to grow old that way.

****

Some months later, Myka picks up a call from Pete. She lives in an apartment now, a generic space that isn’t right but at the very least isn’t wrong.

“I know you’re sick of hearing this,” he starts, then stops.

“What am I sick of hearing?”

“A feeling...”

Great. Just what she needs. But she’d better let him tell her, or he’ll keep bugging her... either that, or he’ll burst. “Fine. What’s it about?”

“Did you put a note in a place?”

“Did I what?”

“Note. Place. You. Putting.”

“I heard what you said. What are you talking about?”

What follows is a convoluted story of a Realtor who contacted him “because the lady who bought your house found a note that you left and now she wants to get in touch but she thinks that might be intrusive or aggressive or something so she wants to make sure you’re okay with it but anyway what note are we talking about and why do I have this feeling?”

Well. “I don’t know about your feeling,” Myka says. “But I did leave a note. In the almanac.”

“Is that some secret code? Is the note in code? What do you want me to say?”

Myka, who has a feeling of her own, tells him, “I want you to say yes.”

****

In retrospect, her feeling was justified, for when she and Helena Wells met, on the threshold of that house in which Myka felt wrong, they fell into what seemed to be a predestined exchange.

Helena Wells said, “It’s October.”

“Are you keeping your garments buttoned close?” Myka asked.

“On good advice, we are.”

That was all, for their first words, as time slowed... as they both stopped, as if in agreement to be conscious of that slowing, to ponder its meaning, to accept its novelty.

Then, a small voice from behind Helena said, “We made an apple pie.” Then Christina Wells emerged, positioning herself next to her mother, albeit a ghost-width behind.

All three of them in the doorway: waiting. Liminal.

“How’s the stove working out?” Myka asked at last.

“It didn’t burn the pie,” Christina said.

“It would have if I’d made it,” Myka said. “I guess it likes you.”

Christina considered. “Or pie.”

More silence, while two pairs of Wells eyes scrutinized Myka. Inspection. Due diligence. “Any owls yet?” she tried, after a time.

“Maybe,” Christina said.

And Helena said, “Come inside.”

So Myka did.

****

After they had shared apple pie in the kitchen next to the happier stove, after Myka’s time in the house had stretched such that taking her leave felt embarrassingly overdue, after she stood and made I-should-go noises, Helena asked, “Will you come back?”

And Myka once again said yes.

Not twenty-four hours later, she did go back, for Helena texted her: “I want to teach you a new word.”

When Myka arrived, Helena asked, “What were we to listen for the owl to do?”

“Screech,” Myka said.

“That’s the word,” Helena said.

“That isn’t new,” Myka told her. Was that the right thing to have said?

“It is for us.” And Helena took Myka’s hand—not their first touch, but their first to augur of more—and drew her in.

****

Pete’s feelings. How many tears of gratitude has Myka shed for them, for the way they have bestowed such beautiful contours upon her life? Many, but she’ll never tell him; he’d be embarrassed. But she has said the words “thank you” more times than either of them are comfortable with.

She’s said them to Helena too, of course, and even more often.

“It’ll appreciate,” Pete had originally said of the house’s value.

He was right.

END

[overthinkingfandom]

Is there a general description of the Strategist!Dream take? Any key traits that is a core part of the interpretation (other than strategy and ends-justify-the-means mindset)?

This ask has been surprisingly hard for me to answer, anon. There’s a lot to c!Dream’s character and consequently there’s a lot to the strategist interpretation that isn’t immediately obvious. At their core the strategist and trauma interpretation disagree on a few very fundamental traits for the character: how he processes the world, how he approaches things, how he reacts. Since those traits are so fundamental, they have a lot of implications that have a kind of cascade effect on the rest of his personality.

Honestly, the difference between the two interpretations is fascinating and I may just make a full post on that topic in the future. But the reason I bring this up here is to explain that I, uh… may or may not have written a full character analysis essay about the way I see c!Dream through the lens of the strategist interpretation.

Oops.

But first to answer your question, here are what I consider the core traits for the strategist interpretation in no particular order:

Logic based thought and decision-making process

A strong sense of who he is and what he stands for

Decisive

Self aware

Judges actions by how effective they are

Overblown sense of responsibility

Will do anything and everything to achieve his goal

Practical mindset

The actual essay is under the cut.

People don’t understand the word ruthless. They think it means ‘mean.’ It’s not about being mean. It’s about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It’s about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it.

~Katherine Applegate

If I had to sum up Strategist Dream with a few words, I would call him a ruthless rational player.

Mind you, that’s “rational player” in the game theory definition of the term. Someone who is capable of thinking through their options to the outcomes and picking the option which maximizes their benefit, whatever that might be. The way Dream interacts with the world is inherently logic based. His emotions more than anything affect his goals and priority setting.

It’s hard to convey just how much logic and specifically strategy influences his actions without going into his every action and analyzing it properly. He’s a strategist not only in the sense that he makes plans and acts according to them, but also in the sense that he’s very aware of power dynamics and talented at reading situations, something which lets him figure out the optimal way to act in more mundane ways as well. I’ve written a bit about how it affects his relationship with Techno or how it influenced the way he dealt with L’manburg’s declaration of independence, to give some examples, but you can even see it in the way he conducts negotiations, presents ultimatums or builds his reputation. Stuff that goes back even as far back as the original Disc War.

That awareness isn’t limited to his strategic understanding of situations either. In fact I would argue that clarity is just as central a trait to his character as strategy is. Clarity of self, clarity of priorities, clarity of purpose and clarity of means.

Dream has a strong sense of identity, one that can’t be shaken easily by outside influence. People can call him a “monster” or a “tyrant” and Dream would just shrug and let them think whatever they want to think. This also includes a clear sense of what he prioritizes and values or conversely, what he also values less. He values peace. He values effectiveness. He values Spirit, but does he value it more or less than he values his plan and his freedom? Less. As much as it hurts him, he values it less and so the optimal course of action is to sacrifice the thing he cares less about in order to preserve the things he cares more about if he can’t save them both.

Dream knows who he is and what he stands for, and his conviction about those things is so strong I doubt anyone but himself could shake it. Not that he would be quick to doubt himself. The dude is very self aware both about himself and his actions.

Most actions he takes are done purposefully, with a specific reason in mind and after having come to the decision that they’re the optimal way to act in this situation. As said before, Dream values effectiveness and so if he considers an action to be effective, he’ll consider it a good one to take, even if it causes harm.

He won’t regret it later on either, even when confronted with the harm he did. What is there to regret when he knew the consequences beforehand and deemed them acceptable? When the action he took did exactly what he wanted it to? And if the reason it didn’t work is because of something he had no way of anticipating or preparing for, then there’s nothing to regret there either. He made the best decision he could with the information he had at the time and there was no way short of omniscience or clairvoyance to have made a better choice.

The only time it’s worth regretting is when he made a mistake in his judgement. Or worse yet, didn’t think at all. When he’s just reacting and lashing out instead of stopping to think about his actions.

(It’s also worth regretting over actions that were ultimately useless, especially if they caused harm, because then that harm wouldn’t have been effective. It would’ve been for no reason, no more than simple cruelty. Despite everything, Dream isn’t cruel. He doesn’t enjoy inflicting harm. Some fun trolling, sure, but not serious harm. In fact, when there isn’t an incentive one way or the other, Dream seems to lean towards being generous and accommodating.

But his conviction wouldn’t let him give up so easily. Call it being stubborn or sunk cost fallacy or whatever. Giving up on his goal would make everything he did worse than useless. Therefore, he can’t allow himself to give up unless the benefits of stopping outweigh the costs of everything he did to reach this point.)

In general, he’s rather amoral, in the sense that he doesn’t think much about morality. “Evil is in the eye of the beholder”, so there’s not much use to bring questions of good and evil into his considerations when the answer will be subjective and won’t help him much in achieving his goal. The dude is much more concerned with practicality when deciding an acceptable course of action. In fact, it can be said he’s practical to a fault and even utilitarian in places.

Despite all that, Dream does have a code of conduct he adheres to, and rather strongly at that. He has a strong sense of fairness and by default would deal in good faith, only switching to dealing in bad faith as a response to the other side trying to do so. In that sense he can even be called overly forgiving as he would continue to offer good faith deals even after the other side has dealt in bad faith multiple times.

However, his overall leniency doesn’t stop him from calling out specific breaches of contracts. He’s very strict about agreements, formal or informal, and has a massive stick up his ass about them. He’ll respect them even if he disagrees with the people who made them or if there’ll be no consequences for breaking them, and when he does go against the spirit of the agreement he’ll do so via a loophole rather than outright break it.

This is actually an example of how strategy influences his overall behavior. Dream is very specifically establishing for himself a reputation as someone who keeps his word. When he offers a deal, people consider it as a valid option because they know he won’t scam them or offer empty words, opening the door to cooperation which otherwise wouldn’t come about. Not only with people who are on his side, but people he’s in conflict with as well. Something which is very important considering that generally cooperative strategies result in better outcomes.

And it doesn’t end there either, because Dream does it not only to his promises but to his threats as well. More than once he followed through on a threat that was so dramatic it seemed like hyperbole, something one says at the heat of the moment but doesn’t actually do once they calmed down. This is not the case with Dream. If he says he’ll do something you can damn well bet he’ll follow through on it. Which, ironically enough, means he doesn’t have to do it all that often.

His threats have weight because the people who hear them know they're real. His words alone serve as an effective deterrent against his enemies. And boy does he know how to take advantage of that for all it’s worth.

Dream has a habit of providing drastic ultimatums, escalating situations from 0 to 11 at the blink of an eye. At first glance it may seem like he’s overreacting for one reason or another, perpetuating the conflict because he’s a control freak or can’t stand losing or whatever, but this is actually a tactic for quick conflict resolution. Upping the stakes so much all at once to make the enemy think it’s not worth it rather than risk a slow escalation that can reach the same heights but would be more invisible because of the gradual nature of it. His reputation for following through on his promises only makes his ultimatums more effective by making his threats hard to dismiss.

Needless to say, it’s a rather extreme strategy but Dream is a man of extremes which can sometimes make him come across as volatile. He would go to any length in order to achieve his goal, but the flipside is that if he doesn’t think there’s a good chance he can win he would rather not fight at all and focus on minimizing his losses. He would be patient and lenient when dealing in good faith, but swift and absolute when against his adversaries. If he considers someone his friend he would give them the world, but if he considers someone his enemy he couldn’t care less for what kind of harm would befall them.

And there’s that clarity again, because Dream is someone who has sharp distinctions between friend or foe and pretty consistent ways to treat each. Even with those he considers neutral parties, who don’t fall into either category, he’s pretty consistent with his reactive approach of mirroring the attitude he’s faced with.

Interestingly enough, when dealing with neutral parties he generally starts out with a positive attitude towards them. Something which I’d argue is both because he defaults for dealing in good faith and because he has an overblown sense of responsibility.

This sense of responsibility, specifically his sense of responsibility over the server, is at the core of many of his actions. He wants the server to be at peace, for people to be a big happy family, and he takes it upon himself to make it come true.

This is also where his controlling tendencies come from. It’s often assumed that they stem from some sort of insecurity or an inability to bear vulnerability, giving Dream a compulsive need to feel in control at all times, but I feel it’s more accurate to say they come partly because he feels responsibility over fixing them and his first solution to anything is to do it himself.

He doesn’t necessarily want everything to go his specific way, it’s more that he wants things to not be stupid or harmful to himself and his interests. If someone else comes up with something Dream deems acceptable by his standards he would have no problem going with that. However, his standards are high and rarely met so most of the time he just insists on his own way. It’s also not helped by how he considers himself the most capable person around.

And he’s not exactly wrong. The man has a fairly realistic assessment of his skills and a good grasp on his limits. This is actually a big part of what makes him so dangerous. The awareness of knowing exactly what you can or can’t do, both on a skill level and as an assessment of a situation, is an integral aspect of winning in a power struggle.

It’s this understanding which makes Dream often use himself as a tool. After all, his own self is something he can be certain would be under his control, making it an invaluable weapon which can’t be stripped away from him no matter what. A weapon he learned how to hone and maximize the effectiveness of, both in a physical battle, but more importantly as a manipulation tool.

Dream’s manipulation style is distinct from the likes of Wilbur or Quackity, who use more classical manipulation techniques. In fact, with him it’s more akin to information warfare than anything. He rarely tries to change another’s mind in order to get his way. His preferred method is to abuse people’s existing beliefs and inclination by constructing scenarios in which people, just by being themselves, give him the outcome he wants.

He’ll often project some persona with his behavior and words in order to give a specific impression to shape his enemy’s assumptions about him and the situation. Assumptions which are skewed in ways which give Dream a critical information advantage. An advantage he uses to guarantee his victory.

By treating himself as a tool he also often ends up disregarding his feelings in order to achieve the goal. Dream is willing to put himself through a great deal of discomfort and pain if he thinks it’ll further his plans. When saying Dream’s mindset is that of means to an end, it’s important to remember he considers himself just as much of a mean as anything else, if not even more so.

However, he wouldn’t do so on a whim. While Dream is a risk taker, he isn’t eager to take stupid risks. If there’s a high chance he would lose or he knows he’s missing some important information, Dream would hesitate to follow through with such an action.

He’s very concerned with the success chance of his plans and goals in general. His practical mindset and tendency to go all in on whatever he’s doing results in almost all of his goals being specific, achievable and decisive. Which is another thing which makes him so scarily effective in his plans.

And that’s not limited to his plans either. By default he has a utilitarian approach to things, he’s inherently not a dramatic person. When left to his own devices he would often seek the most efficient way to do something, such as building a base. However, he has also shown he enjoys the dramatics of performing when he has an audience to watch him.

This can make him come across as someone who’s pretty open about his thoughts or intentions, but in truth he’s very reserved and keen on hiding the things which can be used against him. He keeps a lot of things close to his chest, from his emotions to his plans or intentions. Even with allies he doesn’t seem to share all the details openly, even when he otherwise places a great deal of trust on them.

Those two things, his seeming openness when performing and his reserved nature, can sometimes clash to a hilarious effect. Especially because Dream was shown to have some difficulty in improvising stuff on the spot.

Interestingly enough, he mostly shows that difficulty in social situations or when performing, an area he’s relatively weak in considering how socially awkward he can be. In areas he’s strong in, such as politics or strategy, he’s shown a great ability to adapt quickly to new information or opportunities. This is actually a good indicator of how skilled he is in this field that he manages to circumvent a weakness of his.

This is not the only way he circumvents his weakness either. Despite his social awkwardness he’s very good at deceit and intimidation. He makes up for his relative lack of charisma by using his understanding of topics such as psychological warfare and cognitive biases.

Of course, just because he’s very skilled doesn’t mean that he always succeeds or never gets cornered. Losing control over a situation seems to be something which affects him greatly. When such a thing happens, or he gets otherwise overwhelmed, Dream displays two kinds of responses.

His default response is to Fight. He gets angry, lashes out and comes down on the threat with a display of heavy handed aggression to display his dominance and attempt to wrench some control back. If there’s no clear threat around he can easily direct his focus to, he would lash inwards.

However, if such a response would put him in even more danger, Dream responds by Freezing instead. He gets quiet and less responsive, enduring whatever it is he has to suffer through until the threat has passed.

There’s more to say about him, from small stuff like how he takes things too seriously and is annoyed by people being wrong, to big stuff like in depth analysis of the playbook of tactics he continuously uses. Dream is a character I can write multiple literal essays about, all of which analyzing him from different lenses and touching on different topics. However this has already passed 2.5k words and that’s with me trying to be as concise as I can be, so it’s probably for the best I end here.