#the way they IGNORE buck and his feelings but not even intentionally just out of sheer nonchalance

[vanmarkus]

currently rewatching 4x04 and I wanna throw myself off of a cliff... right after I threw the Buckley parents off of it

[bekolxeram]

During this hiatus, other than rewatching S7 for cute moments that we missed and coming up with headconons and new fic ideas, may I suggest going back to actually read/watch/listen to interviews with the cast?

Certain more dedicated members of the fandom tend to overfixate on one single sentence or even word the cast uttered and ignore all context around it. Sure, some of them might came into it with an agenda (like many journalists did sadly) and confirmation bias took care of the rest of it, but at the same time, who has time to read pages of disjointed chat with actors improvising answers without full knowledge of the production side of the show?

I've seen people proving Eddie's queerness by this quote from Lou's interview with the Hollywood Reporter in April:

This alone has been interpreted all sorts of ways, from Ryan not accepting this storyline (which doesn't make him homophobic btw, he could've simply not seen Eddie's story going this way, or he thought he wasn't equipped to do this storyline justice), to Buck's LIs not agreeing to come back because of scheduling conflict, to the writers just thought it was more appropriate for Buck to be queer.

I'm not here to speculate anything, I'm just going to point out earlier in the same interview, Lou also said he always knew this storyline would be with Oliver:

I don't know what's going on here, Lou might have insider information, but it also could be him just speculating over Tommy and Eddie's quickly formed friendship. To my knowledge, Tim has never confirmed that Tommy's queer storyline would be with Eddie before it supposedly fell through. In fact, Tim did say once it felt like Buck's story:

And then there's Lou's supposed dislike of filming make out scenes:

I do agree with him that gratuitous scenes on TV are unnecessary. I can't even count how many times I'm watching TV with my family when a graphic sex scene comes on unprompted, and my family members and I have to try our best to pretend we don't see it. But he also said that he didn't like it only when it didn't add to the story. Like we saw in 7x06, Lou gladly rubbed his face into Oliver's because this is how Buck came out.

There's also the part most people skipped through when Lou talked about the 7x04 kiss:

Lou (and everyone involved in the storyline) doesn't want Tommy to seem predatory. I have no idea if it's a reference to a possible earlier version of the script with an Eddie bi awakening instead of a Buck one. What I'm getting is that Lou and Tim tried to avoid playing into the stereotype of gay men hanging around knowingly straight men just to get into their pants.

And boy was Lou right. If they went for a full make out scene, the fandom discourse would've been so different. Naysayers wouldn't have been latching onto bachelor party costume or daddy issue joke. It would've led to much more serious allegations.

I'm happy it all worked out in universe as well. As we've seen from the past 7 seasons, Buck has no problem getting sexual partners. In the past he tried having physical relationships with women in hopes that it would lead to an emotional one, he also tried intentionally holding off intimacy just because he thought it would get in the way of boding with someone on a humanly level. This is the first time someone picked up Buck's (unintentional?) flirting, decided to break the ambiguity (landing it like a good pilot), gave him a brief peck to test the water, and then left to give Buck time to process his feelings.

Not only was it okay for Buck, it left him wanting more.

And lastly there's the allegedly "Tommy is just Buck's gay mentor to test thing out with" thing:

But earlier in the interview, it was established that Lou said it as a response to why the other shippers should still embrace Buck and Tommy's relationship. He didn't actually know what would happen in the future:

[im-ovulating]

(A/n: More Bucky Brainrot™)

(Once again, I'm posting these to get them out of my brain, I do/will not write for Marvel as part of my blog's major content; every now and then I will post something Marvel though...)

Word Count: 397

Summary: Bucky can't help the way his mind wanders when he looks at you.

Warnings: Explicit thoughts- mouth fucking, lipstick ring/mark kink

Age Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader: Sometimes I Fuck You in My Head

------------------------

It's not his fault.

You just look too good when you speak so passionately.

Not that he's hearing a single word leaving you -he's not intentionally ignoring you, he just can't shake the thought that your glossy lips would look so good wrapping around something other than your words.

The soft, sheer pink creating a ring around the base of his cock as precum and spit dribble down your chin, sliding down the column of your neck and disappearing between the valley of your breasts. How shiny his cock becomes as it gets painted with your saliva.

His hand in your hair guides you to take him faster as his head gets thrown back, a guttural groan leaving his parted lips as you hollow your cheeks.

"That's it, Doll." He rasps. "Look at you, takin' me so well."

You gag a bit when he bucks his hips at a particularly sharp suck, eyes rolling back as you feel his flared tip slip to the back of your throat.

"Fuck-"

It's when he tilts his head back down, meeting your half-lidded gaze that he comes undone.

He can't help it when you're looking at him so fucked out. Cheeks wet with tears and mascara runs and lips swollen as you eagerly suck him off.

His hot cum shoots into your mouth, filling it until it spills out the corners to join the mess of your face. You swallow as much as you can before licking him clean of the salty release. Looking up at him, your lips part to mutter his name.

"Bucky?"

"What?" Confused by the tone of your voice, he can't help but furrow his brows.

"Bucky?? Are you even listening to me?"

Bucky shakes his head as your voice brings him back to reality.

Your hands are on your hips as you level him with a lifted brow.

The light of the kitchen making the lines of your face all the more intimidating.

"Uh- Yes?" Please don't ask him to repeat anything...

"Okay, then what color do you think I should paint my nails for the party tonight? Red or Black?"

Thank fuck.

"Definitely red.

"I was talking about a Karen I had to deal with at the store earlier, not nail polish." You grab your drink and go to leave, pausing in the doorway as you turn back to him.

"And there's no party."

[lemotmo]

I'm curious what your thoughts are regarding the pacing of things as well? I know you said you enjoyed the episode so I hope it doesn't offend you that I sent this, even though she wasn't explicitly bashing the episode, but I would love to hear your thoughts as well.

Q. I have no idea what is happening at all. What is pacing? And the callbacks turned out to be pointless.

A. The pacing has been an issue off and on throughout the series in general so that's nothing new. Look guys it just wasn't a good episode. And that happens. It was made worse by the fact that it followed one of the best episodes they've had in a while, and the fact that it was the second to last episode before the break. The Brad and Hotshots thing has been too much, for me at least, at this point. We're now sacrificing main cast scenes so they can work in Brad scenes (and even more nauseating Gerard scenes). No one is watching for Brad. I don't care how many ex-wives he has or how many kids he has that don't speak to him. I care about one kid that won't speak to one dad and we can't even get a conversation about that. It sounds like Eddie might talk to Brad about it in this coming episode, but again I don't want or need that to be with Brad. I feel like they're going for Eddie not wanting to talk about things with people who actually know him, so to that extent using Brad makes sense. But we've barely seen Chimney. We haven't seen Hen outside of Masks. There's not enough screentime to go around and spending so much time working Brad in is making it even harder to work in the main cast. The main cast is who your audience cares about. I understand the cast has enjoyed Callum, and he's been really lovely to watch behind the scenes but his storyline needs not to be extended into 8b. They have to get that done.

I think the callbacks have actually been for the audience. The audience has made the connections but Buck and Eddie haven't. The universe is indeed screaming at them but neither one of them are ready to hear it. And if that's the case that's actually a really clever way to do things. I think the synopsis for 8x8 is intentionally bad. They never spoil big things in the synopsis, but I also think everyone needs to adjust their idea of a 'big' thing. I was speaking with a mutual earlier and said I think maybe at the end of the episode Buck decides to go out and explore his new found freedom in his newly expanded pond. A win for Oliver Stark's let Buck f**k movement, which would happen off screen over the break, because I think the show learned its lesson there. And maybe Eddie has a video chat with Chris and we get him having some kind of self confessional regarding his feelings or who he is which would be kind of a metaphorical cliffhanger because Eddie would be ready to at least acknowledge while Buck is still ignoring the universe. That works for where we are story wise but is, again, dependent on how much screentime they use up on Brad.

😆 No Nonny, don't worry! I'm not offended at all! Ali and I already discussed the episode.

I didn't lie when I said I liked the episode. It wasn't their best by a long shot, but it was okay for a filler episode. It made me laugh out loud many times. I said before that I didn't like the Gerrard redemption arc, but it is what it is at this point. They're doing it, whether we like it or not.

I saw some continuity of the main characters like Buck and Eddie happening, for eddie mostly in the background.

But Ali does have a point about the pacing. It was a good filler episode, but it didn't belong in the 7th spot of the season. Next to that, we have seen more than enough of HotShots by now. We aren't interested in the show within the show. We are interested in the actual real show called 911. I'm not sure what Brad is still doing there to be honest. I hope he will have some purpose in the story in episode 8. I don't want him to take away too much time that could be spent on the main characters, such as Eddie.

I like the spec Ali added in the end. It makes sense that the callbacks are there to remind the audience about Buddie's greatest NDE hits. I still believe that something Buddie-related is going down in 8x08, but it might be focused more on Eddie, since I do expect his storyline to take some precedence. 🤞🤞🤞

But that's all I've got. I don't want to speculate too much at this point, because everything's still up in the air. But I imagine that a midseason finale will have some shock-factor to it. Without that? It will be a boring hiatus for sure. 🤷‍♀️

So I'm remaining positive and optimistic here. Something has to go down in that last episode. A synopsis never gives away too much. Remember when Eddie got shot? Buck nor Eddie were even mentioned in the synopsis back then. So anything can still happen.

Let's just wait and give the show the chance to (hopefully) blow us away with a welcoming and surprising twist. 🤞🤞🤞

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[chevelleneech]

It’s weird you claim to know the mind of a 32 year old man doing his job. Based off social media? He can’t even keep the same photos on his feed for a month. He’s been liking buddie stuff for years now so he will continue to do it. Isn’t this the same ship that pushed him off Twitter?

Also he mentioned in several interviews he couldn’t wait to get know Lou on and off screen. So take that as will 🤷‍♂️

Anon, what are you here for, if not to prove yourself as the Lou/Tommy defense team captain? For no reason, at that, because I never said Oliver dislikes Lou or Tommy. I said I think my earlier assumption that he prefers/ships Buddie, was correct, and I stand by it.

Y’all can try as hard as you want to play the “You don’t know them!” or “He’s doing his jobs!” cards, but 1) the same applies to BuckTommy, and Lou making folks pay for headcanons, and 2) is intentionally dismissive.

Of course we don’t know Oliver. Anyone who thinks they do is crazy, but that doesn’t mean Oliver saying for years that he’s open to Buddie, saying this season he was prepared to play Buck as queer, and consistently liking or reposting Buddie fan art is all a lie. Oliver is allowed to have a preferred ship the same way Lou is, but I have yet to see a BT shipper say what’s he’s doing is weird.

Y’all need that validation because Oliver is not giving it, but is also not damning y’all in interviews. He doesn’t appear to be that kind of person, aka he is doing his job properly. He’s neutral or positive about the storylines he likes, and is seemingly neutral to silent on the ones he doesn’t. Pointing that out has nothing to do with Lou or Tommy, tbh. It’s about Oliver’s apparent preference.

Lastly, Buddie didn’t run him off Twitter, as he’s already said. It was people who shipped Buddie and wanted him to confirm them becoming canon, and would say he was queerbaiting if he posted Buddie despite Buck dating a woman in canon. Oliver literally said this year, he left Twitter because he wanted to discuss the ship and Buck’s queerness yet couldn’t. Now he can, because Buck is bi and the relationship is technically more possible. So what is your point in bringing this up, beyond trying to act like he dislikes the ship yet has to talk about it? He don’t talk about shit he don’t want to, as is established by his constant behavior.

I know y’all higher than thou types love to pretend celebrities aren’t actual people and can never be authentic without exposing their entire lives to social media, but it’s not true. Who knows how he really and truly feels about a single thing, but I mean… he’s been consistent for years. Oliver is famous and appeasing fans is part of his job, but that doesn’t make him a walking empty shell. If that’s how you prefer to see him, go ahead. If ignoring his posts and words unless they’re in praise to Lou and Tommy works best for you to continue shipping what you ship, go ahead. But slithering up your pedestal to talk down on Buddie shippers who do pay attention to his socials, is a waste of your time.

We all sipping from the same parasocial tea, you just don’t think your cup got cracks in it too.

[theres-a-body-here]

Scumtober- Day 4 (Distractions)

Reader x Polar Patroller

You let out a sigh as you went through your inventory, rearranging your things over and over for no real reason. You felt a bit nauseous at the thought of being so high up, even if you were far away from the windows. Your squadmate was posted at the window, peering through his DMR's scope.

You hated heights, and you knew he knew that. Which is why you suspected Polar intentionally dragged you along to the tallest skyscraper at Tilted Towers. And the top floor, no less. "Vantage point" he called it.

Asshole.

With nothing better to do, you watch as Polar scans for any other duos. He has such a serious and determined look on his face as he holds the grip tightly. You decide to pay him back for bringing you here. You stand up and walk over to him before kneeling beside him. Without hesitating, you lazily hug him from behind.

At first, he's startled by your unexpected move, but Polar quickly relaxes into the embrace. His heart rate slows down as he leans back against you, enjoying the contact despite wanting to stay focused.

"What's gotten into you?" he mutters under his breath. "Trying to distract me from our mission?"

Despite his playful grumble, there's a hint of fondness in his voice.

"Just stay on the lookout, big guy" You mutter back in a mischievous tone that doesn't go unnoticed by him. Your hands begin to wander south. You smile when you hear his breath hitch in his throat as the grip on his gun becomes even tighter.

"Hey!" Polar patroller exclaims in surprise as your hands wander towards his crotch. Despite being caught off guard, he doesn't push you away immediately. Instead, he lets out a low growl deep within his chest.

"Focus," he warns sternly. "Or I swear I'll make you regret it later."

"You always say that," You say as you chuckle softly.

There's a long, comfortable silence as you rub his thighs soothingly from behind as he continues scoping the streets. After a few minutes pass you decide to up the ante. Your hand goes for his zipper and you pull it down. You feel Polar stiffen as you play with his bulge.

"You see anything," You whisper in an almost innocent way as you feel him start to shake a bit.

"Don't... don't do that," he manages to whisper hoarsely. "Not now..."

His words are shaky with desire, betraying how much he's enjoying the touch. As his erection grows harder, he struggles to concentrate on the surroundings through his scope. You shift a bit as you move to lie down in front of him as he tries to keep focused.

A sudden surge of heat fills Polar Patroller's body as you scoot closer to his groin, positioning yourself perfectly in front of his throbbing erection.

Without further ado, you take his cock into your mouth. Polar groans as he realizes he's wasting his breath asking you to stay focused on winning. Polar decides to let things play out and he takes your advice to multitask.

As your lips encircle his thick shaft, Polar Patroller grits his teeth, trying to suppress any loud sounds that may attract unwanted attention from other players. Despite his best efforts, moans escape his throat involuntarily.

"Fuck!" he curses under his breath, fighting the urge to buck his hips against your eager mouth.

Through it all, he continues to survey their surroundings, his gaze never wavering from the scope.

A low growl rumbles in Polar Patroller's chest as you deepen the blowjob, taking him as far down your throat as possible. His fingers clench tighter around the DMR, knuckles turning white from the force. Though he tries desperately to ignore the pleasure as he scans the streets below, the effort begins to show in his strained features.

Before he could say anything, Polar finally spots a player running through the streets. It looks like they don't have their squadmate. Polar makes a grunt and tries to push you gently off of him. But you don't care right now. You're busy with bear dick.

Without breaking the rhythm of your blowjob, Polar Patroller slowly follows the lone player with his aim. His other hand remains firmly planted on the windowsill for support as he lines up the shot. With a steady aim, he takes careful aim at the distant figure below and fires.

The sound of the gunshot echoes through the air, drawing instant attention from both parties involved. Through the scope, Polar watches as the bullet hits its target squarely in the head, causing their items to "explode" out of them as they become light and data.

As the aftermath fades away, he feels your sucking intensify once more, drawing another groan from his throat. Reluctantly, he removes his hand from the trigger and returns it to steady himself against your head movements.

As he watches you work his cock out like a champ, he begins to think. Maybe if he cums you'll take the game seriously again? He really wants the dub.

He puts his DMR down to the floor as he gently holds your head. You make a confused sound but before you can get off his dick to speak, Polar begins to fuck your face.

Your eyes roll back in your head as Polar Patroller loses control, thrusting deeper into your willing mouth with each passing second. The musky scent of sex fills the small space between you two.

Polar's mind goes blank; all he can think about is getting off and forgetting everything else around him.

"That's it…" he whispers gravelly, grasping at your hair for purchase. "Just take it all…"

After several minutes of nonstop thrusting, Polar finally reaches his climax. With a long groan, he erupts inside your mouth, filling it with hot cum. Shaking violently, he forces himself to withdraw from your throat and collapses onto the ground beside you. You swallow his cum nonchalantly as you scoot closer and lay your head on his shoulder. You watch as he stuffs his dick back inside his zipper. He turns his head to look at you

Feeling guilty for being a bit rough with you, Polar Patroller hesitates before pulling you into a gentle embrace. He buries his face in your neck, inhaling deeply as if to calm down.

"I'm sorry..." he murmurs softly against your skin.

"It's fine," You say softly as you stand up. Your GPS makes a ding sound, notifying you the storm is approaching. "we should head out, big guy".

Nodding slowly, Polar Patroller stands up, grabbing his DMR and holstering it across his body. He gives you a sheepish smile as he brushes past you towards the exit. "Let's hope our little detour doesn't draw unnecessary attention," he mutters under his breath, glancing nervously outside. You laugh as you follow him

Scumtober 2023 Masterlist

[abowlofpetuniasandawhale]

Something about Abby never mentioning that her ex Tommy worked at the same station made my brain go brrr bc of course (doyalist reading) we know it’s because this was a complete afterthought but (watsonian) in universe? Theres no way she didn’t realize, she had to have intentionally withheld information. So:

Abby seeing another hot young firefighter on TV and it’s not the same, he’s not Tommy. But he’s Tommy shaped and she’s lonely, she’s burnt out, and the familiarity of it all helps draw her in. Gives her a chance to do it over even if she can’t let it go.

Abby, who never mentions that Tommy’s gay because she only found out a year after he imploded their relationship when she saw him on instagram with a new job, a new house, and a new boyfriend—the hits keep coming (the fact that only two of those work out for him is barely a consolation).

Abby hearing 118 and deciding again not to bring it up because why reopen the old wound? Buck doesn’t know him (she sussed that out early on) and the turnover (and the everything else) at the station the past few years means she was never close with Tommy’s coworkers anyway, but they have enough overlap in their circles that Buck would ask questions and it would hurt and why bother? Why put herself in a position where her fun fling that’s supposed to be distracting her from her problems is going to rub salt into them? She already can’t put any distance because her mom keeps bringing Tommy up, if she has to have Buck asking about him too that’s just the last straw.

Abby, who doesn’t tell her friends what her new himbo boyfriend does for a living because she knows they’ll give her that knowing look (and even if she had the time with everything else going on, she’s never introducing Buck to them anyway).

Abby, who was never bothered by Tommy being a few years younger than her —he was an old soul, he had to grow up so much before they ever met just to get out of his dad’s house, she forgets how many years are actually between them for most of their time together— but she can’t ignore how much younger-than-him Buck feels and how much older that makes her feel in turn.

Abby whose time with Buck starts to feel more and more like the time she wasted with Tommy in those months after she’d started to see the writing on the wall, even as he insisted everything was fine. The time before, spent staring at the ring and asking herself when they would talk about picking a date, a venue. The time after, spent asking herself if she should have up and left sooner, found herself before the months slipped away and he had the chance to do it first.

Abby who is so haunted by Tommy that she gives his ghost to someone else without ever letting either of them know

[canonicallyobserving911]

Anti Bucktommy

Eddie deserves better than that raggedy storyline he was handed.

Don't read below the cut if you ship bucktommy because this is an ANTI-BUCKTOMMY ZONE!

Full Disclosure: Eddie is my favorite character and IMO the way he was charcterized in 7x4 was horrifically horrible.

It's been a few hours since the episode aired and I believe I'm finally at a place where I can articulate how damn angry I am about the way EDDIE DIAZ was treated throughout the episode.

Before it aired, I was still on the fence regarding if I should watch live because I didn't want Buck and Eddie to argue/fight but I sure as hell didn't want either of them to get injured. I really tried to keep an open mind about Buck’s storyline but I'm not sure how to process the fact that they made Eddie out to be the villain for the third time. First it was the lawsuit, then it was Buck's coma dream where he was charcterized as "Angry" and now this. He was the one injured but Tommy had to tell Buck to call Eddie and he was just like "ok" when pre-Tommy Buck would have taken Eddie to the hospital and stayed with him until he was better. But it appears everyone forgot how Buck dropped everything to take care of Eddie and Chris after Eddie’s breakdown since Buck finally kissed a guy.

Eddie

So... first things first. Eddie FINALLY ADMITTED HE'S TAKEN but when did that happen because Marisol has been on screen for like 5.098 seconds in 4 episodes. Second, why didn't Eddie ask her to babysit Chris? I mean if they're in a committed relationship or whatever, then shouldn't he have asked her? That would have made more sense but if he had then he wouldn't have been able to ask Buck to do it. And finally, why was his actions towards Buck made to seem like he was intentionally being mean? The pre-7x4 Eddie Diaz wouldn't have done that because he knows how self-deprecating Buck can be. Reminder he called Buck Evan first and it wasn't like he was trying to put him in his place like Tommy was and will do. Tommy's actions towards Buck didn't show that he even liked him since he was dismissive but this isn't about that, it's about Eddie.

Now, I still can't tell if Eddie's actions were supposed to be funny or WTF but the way they had him acting like he was inconsiderate towards Buck’s feelings was just WRONG! Furthermore making it seem like he was using him and rubbing his nose in it since he had a new friend was NOT OK! FYI, the way everything played out validated some of those Facebook moms' thoughts because they've already posted that they believe Eddie uses Buck to babysit for him so he can go out and have fun 👀.

Additionally, Eddie was shown to be the one Buck’s affection... no fuck that, LOVE was directed towards only for Buck to literally injure him and ACT like he did it because he wanted to be with fucking Tommy Kinard? I call BULLSHIT and at this point I don't like Buck very much right now because of the way he acted in this episode.

Showing Eddie using Buck to babysit Chris and talking at him and ignoring him while he was hanging out with the guy who basically called Buck stupid and unbelievable to his face was just bad writing. Of course there will be those who say, "Let the story play out because it was just one episode" but the audience has been here before waiting for Buck to finally get it and nothing changed except he's dating a man now. None of this was ok and even though Maddie told him don't do it again, that was fine I guess but what in the actual fuck was this raggedy ass storyline? There was a better way to handle this without making Eddie the villian.

If all Tim Minear wanted to do was set Buck up with someone other than Eddie, then he could have picked a better character than Tommy. Also, there's an article that indicates he was planning to bring Lucy back for this storyline and it's ridiculous. She already put her lips on Buck without his permission and Tommy did the same thing and so did Taylor.

At this point, I don't know how to feel about Buck. But I do care about Eddie who was called "Angry" in Buck’s coma dream and who Buck actually fucking physically injured during a basketball game because he's jealous that Eddie was hanging out with Tommy.

I can't support a toxic relationship and that's what I saw happening between Buck and Tommy in 7x4.

IMO, The math ain't mathing and this is... not good storytelling.

#EddieDeservesBetter

[bipolarediaz]

hello! I'd love to know more about specific moments that convinced you that eddie is bipolar

so if you don't mind me asking, what are three moments that really stand out to you?

hi hello I love this so much, I've been thinking about this all morning, thank you!!

a lot of it isn't specific moments but more the combination of things that build up over time, but if I had to pick three specific things (not necessarily in order)...

eddie begins--a lot of the flashbacks we see definitely give me hints of it. specifically, we have a very clearly depressed eddie after he comes back to el paso, with him struggling to connect with his loved ones, withdrawing into himself even more than usual. he doesn't smile much in the flashbacks, at least not other than when chris is born. but then, we come to the present during that episode, and we see eddie making impulsive decisions (insisting that he go down in the first place, then cutting his line, naming buck as guardian the next day without thinking about it or talking to buck first, etc) it's not as bad as the impulsive decisions from earlier in s3, but I do think that he was at the tail end of his manic episode at that point in the season, and was still making impulsive decisions because of it. the contrast between depressed past eddie and somewhat manic/hypomanic present-day eddie is a good example of both sides.

also from s3, we have not just the fact that eddie joined a cage fighting ring, but also specifically the way that it ends. he is, once again, not thinking through his actions in the slightest. he has all this pent up energy and all these feelings he doesn't know how to manage, and he literally doesn't know how to stop himself. he's like an impending train crash. in the dsm, this particular symptom is described specifically as "Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences." and that's exactly what's happening. it's excessive, it's something he can't control, and it's causing him actual serious pain and negatively impacting his life. but even though it's negatively impacting it, he doesn't stop. you see this kind of thing a lot in bipolar in excessive spending or gambling, hypersexuality, etc, but it's no different in this situation. he goes completely over the top with it, completely uncaring about the impending consequences. it also leans a bit into grandiosity, with him thinking, at least a little bit, that he is untouchable during this time. and everyone in his life notices it, even if he brushes them off when they try to bring it up. he's noticeably different from normal, in so many ways, that it's impossible to ignore.

and, of course, I've talked before about just how much 5x11 and 5x13 in particular give me those vibes. he's displaying almost every sign of a major depressive episode with mixed features throughout those tow episodes. he's irritable, he's restless, he makes impulsive decisions without thinking about the consequences, all things that we see during his fight with bobby in particular and during the opening montage. but he's also depressed--he's fatigued, he's feeling completely hopeless and worthless, he isn't finding joy in his life anymore, he's isolating himself just like he did back after his tours, and we see hints of suicidal thoughts as well. we've seen all these symptoms from him before, between flashbacks and s3 (and 5a honestly), it's just that now he's got symptoms of both sides of it at the same time, and that's why it hits him so hard when he breaks down. his depression in particular is just so noticeable during 5b, with everyone in his life commenting on it, and there's just no way of denying that he was severely depressed.

bonus reason because I'm never going to be over how much of a missed opportunity it was: in fear-o-phobia, we have that woman through the whole episode who is set up as a clear parallel to eddie, to the point that he intentionally listens in on the call and notices it himself. and the way they do it... is by basically going through every single symptom of bipolar disorder like it's a goddamn checklist, with her sister even saying how much she's "changed" with her acting the way that she was. and then they just... didn't do it. I'm still annoyed by it and I will be forever, thank you.

even with this I feel like I went beyond just "specific moments" lmao, but honestly that's just how it is--if it's just one or two specific moments, that doesn't really indicate anything when it comes to bipolar disorder. it's about persistent mood changes that are noticeably different from your normal, and about sustained changes. it's the long-term arc and the ups and downs eddie's gone through since s2, and the way that things piled up and changed over time, the clear differences we see in how he acts at various points in his life that indicate there's a lot more going on than just normal level mood fluctuations that everyone experiences.

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Champagne & Sunshine - Bucky Barnes x Reader

18+

Summary: Since the day that you and Bucky confessed your feelings for one another. You both can’t keep your hands to yourselves.

Word Count: 3875

Warnings: Right off the bat smut, things occur in the hot hub, unprotected sex, [nicknames: good girl, bunny] cream pie, teasing, nipple play, uuhhh let me know if I'm missing anything.

Author’s Note: It's been a hot minute that I've written any sort of smut, but gosh it feels good to be back after a while.

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! But please, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

Bucky groaned quietly into your ear as he rocked his hips against yours in a slow head motion that made your entire body get filled with chills from head to toe. You hooked your legs over his hips, pulling him closer to your body every chance you could. With every thrust he would make, you would dig your nails dipper onto his back, leaving scratches on him.

His lips pressed against yours, tongue slipping past your lips, dominating each of your senses. You whine into his kiss, letting him that you are nearly close to your peak.

Both of you were now close. A small smirk formed on Bucky’s face as his lips were against yours. He found it fascinating the way you trembled underneath him. You both hit your peak at the same time. Shockwaves were going all over your bodies as you moaned each other’s names repeatedly.

He gets off of you and lays right next to you. You both were heavy breathing and trying to get your composer together.

“Wow,” you both said at the same time. Making you both chuckle as well.

Bucky grabs the duvet and pulls them up over your body. You turn to your side placing your head onto Bucky’s chest. “Round Two, Bunny?” Bucky said quietly as his hand traced the curves from your thigh to your stomach.

You rapidly get on top of him. You began to kiss his neck slowly, cooing against his skin.

As you were rocking your hips against his friction, The phone started to ring. You two completely ignored it the first time.

“Fuck” Bucky groaned. It rang a couple of more times. He got rapidly irritated with the number of times they called him. He was annoyed that people were interrupting him and you. But he knew if he ignored it, they would be rushing to his apartment.

Bucky places his hands on your hips, and as much as he wanted you to continue, he shifted your body off him. You laid right next to him. He gets up and hands you his shirt and your lacey panties so you can put them on. He sits down and grabs his phone. He grunts to see that he had seven missed calls from Steve and Tony.

Bucky answers Steve’s call, “what is i-?“ As his back faces towards you, you run your fingers on his back, tracing his skin and his spine.

“Do you know what time it is?” Steve interrupted him. Even though Steve wasn’t on speakerphone, he was loud enough for you to hear him.

“It’s 7 am. What’s wrong with that?” Bucky rolled his eyes and tried not to sound annoyed. He grabs your hand and places your palm facing upwards, and starts to trace the lines of your hands with his metal hand.

“It’s Peter’s Birthday Trip to the cabin today. We are supposed to leave right now.” Steve took a big breath, and he didn’t want to raise his voice anymore if Peter was around. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

Bucky’s eyes widen as he checks the date on his phone. He looks at you and notices that you have the same reaction he had. “We will be there in a couple of minutes. We are still packing.” Lucky enough, most of your stuff was at Bucky’s apartment so that packing wouldn’t be so difficult. Either way, we were only going to be staying for a couple of days.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Tell her I said hi.” Steve proceeds to hang up the call.

As Bucky was getting up, you notice the scratches that you left on his back. His backfilled with red marks and some of them were deep enough. A little bit of blood was coming out. “oops,” you whispered to yourself.

You were loud enough that Bucky could hear. “You should see your thighs, Doll,” he chuckled as he licks his lips, and his eyes were digesting how beautifully you looked without clothes.

Walking into the bathroom, you notice all the hickey’s that Bucky left on your inner thigh “Bucky! How am I going to swim with these?” you yelled at him as you smirked a little. You didn’t want him to know that. In reality, you didn’t care that you had them on you. It just showed who you belonged to, even though it had been clear to everyone.

“Damn, looks like you won’t be going swimming.” You could hear laughter come from the bedroom. “Either way, I don’t want anyone to look at what’s mine.” He said louder as he walked back and forth to the bedroom, grabbing things that he believed you both would need.

You walk out of the bathroom with a small bag full of items such as your and Bucky’s toothbrush, shampoo, anything from the bathroom you thought would be important.

Walking into the bedroom, Bucky already had your bags and his bags already prepared. He dressed up, and all you needed was to grab a pair of pants and shoes.

Walking towards Bucky’s direction, you intentionally bump into him. He grabs your wrist and rapidly turns you towards him. He places his hand on your chin tilting your head a bit upwards. “Bunny, Don’t forget who you belong to. You are mine, as I am yours.” He leaned in and whispered into your ear.

Moving your hair to the other side. Bucky kisses the back of your ear towards your neck. “Bucky, we have to go.” Trying not to lose focus. Every kiss that he gave you made you want to melt in his arms. He made you feel like no other. He gave you those stupid butterflies in your stomach that was in the children’s book.

----------------

For the first half of the drive, you were wide awake, observing how beautiful the view was outside of the car window. This wasn’t your first time going to Tony’s Cabin, but you had to go there every time. You didn’t have the chance to look around and view how amazedly it was.

Whenever you would go on road trips with Bucky, he would let you connect your phone to his stereo to blast your favorite songs. He didn’t care what music was planning in the background. No matter what, he was going to end up enjoying it.

You both were only a couple more miles to getting to the Cabin. Bucky wanted to make sure that other people were there, not only you and him being their firsts. He points to his backpack that was on the back of your seat. Bucky turns down the music “Doll, can you grab my phone? It’s my backpack in the front pocket.”

Unbuckling your seat belt, you get up and shift your body in between your seat and Bucky’s seat. You start to look into Bucky’s bag, and you can’t find it. It wasn’t in the front pocket nor the other ones. “I can’t find it.”

“check again it should be in there somewhere.”

“Bucky, I still can’t find it.” You wanted to dump his backpack on the backseats and pick up the mess later. You were getting frustrated that you couldn’t find his phone. While your legs were still on the console. The instant the light turned red, you could feel Bucky reach in between your legs and starts to shuffle around his backpack. Pulling his phone out, he also removes his hand from in between your legs.

What he just did left you startled. At the moment, you wanted to freeze, but you couldn’t. You went back to sitting down. He hands you his phone “call Steve and tell him we are on our way.”

The last couple of miles you had left to drive, you decided to nap, even if it was two more hours. You wanted to take advantage of it.

When you woke up from your nap and noticed that a lake and beautiful trees surrounded it, the grass was green. Everything was so bright and beautiful. If you could pick anywhere to live, it would be right here.

You were still trying to wake up when you notice that Bucky got out of the car and started to walk towards your side to open the door. He grabs your hand as you get out.

Walking towards the porch, you notice Sam and Steve talking. You were unsure what they were talking about, but you probably knew since Peter wasn’t on the lot just yet.

Sam and Steve get up and walk towards you and Bucky. Sam offers a bottle of water to Bucky; meanwhile, Steve hugs you.

“So Buck, can you keep it in your pants for a couple of days?” Steve raises his eyebrow and has a serious look on his face as he crosses his arms. Bucky chokes on the water that he was drinking. Bucky placed his hand over his mouth, trying to cover the smirk he had on his face. He knew damn well that he wasn’t going to and didn’t plan to.

Sam looks over at Steve with a mischievous smile “he does have a point. Peter doesn’t need a live demonstration of Sex Ed.”

That grin Bucky had disappeared instantly and just glared at Steve and Sam. Meanwhile, on the other hand, you could feel your cheeks turn into a rosy color, and you were pulling on the sleeves of your shirt. “weren’t you in Peter’s school teaching videos, 'so your body is changing, believe me, I know how that feels' ” Bucky said in his Steve impression voice.

“You are always going to hold that over my head, aren’t you, Bucky.” Steve rolled his eyes and started to walk into the Cabin. “Stop corrupting her. She was an innocent person before you came into her life.”

Bucky chuckled when he heard him say that you were innocent. Nothing about you was innocent, and that’s something that Bucky liked about you. To him, you were a book full of secrets, and he wanted to know everything about you, from your darkest secrets to your sweetest ones. “I mean, you could hear her when she-“ you hit his lower stomach, making him groan a little at how hard you hit him, “never mind.”

You started to move your bags onto the room that you and Bucky were staying in. But every time that you went for your suitcases, Bucky would grab them out of your hand. He insisted that he would take care of grabbing your things and taking them to the room. He didn’t want you to lift any of your fingers.

It didn’t take long for everyone else to come to the Cabin. Luckily, you and Natasha had an hour to decorate before Peter came. The guys oversaw taking care of the outside decorations. Meanwhile, the girls are in charge of the inside décor.

“How is it dating, Capsicle over there?” you were way too focused on writing a poster for Peter saying ‘happy birthday Pete’ when your focus is disturbed by Natasha going in front of you. She had a smirk on her face and motions her head towards the window, where Bucky and Sam were tackling each other, and Steve had his hand placed on his face and shaking his head.

Looking out of the window, you had a smile on your face. “It’s not so bad. I’m happy with him.” You turn your head facing Nat now. Ever since you got with Bucky, you seemed so much happier, and you glowed on your face.

“We always knew you two were going to end up together. I mean the way you both look at each other. There was always something.” Nat teased you as she grabbed the pen on the table to help you finish the poster.

What she said made you think of all the memories you had shared with Bucky. Looking back at the memories, there were hints that you both liked each other. From the way he would always go above and beyond to make sure you were okay to when he would make you laugh over something dumb. “Yeah. I guess there was.” You chuckled at the statement she said.

The moment that you finished the poster, you were starving. You went to the kitchen to grab yourself something to eat and drink. Going near the cabinet, you stood on your tiptoes, reaching over your head to grab a glass “of course, Stark would keep his cup this high.” You whispered to yourself. You couldn’t help but let out a little gasp as you felt someone place their hand on your waist.

“It’s me, don’t worry,” Bucky said in a deep raspy voice as he reaches over you to grab the cup for you. When he set down the cup, he kissed you on the top of your head. Bucky moved away from you as he walked towards the fridge to pull out the filtered water pitcher. Placing it next to the cup he just got out. “Did Nat give you any trouble?” he asked as he was pouring water into your cup.

You shook your head and rolled your eyes “no, she didn’t, Bucky. I promise you.” You chuckled as you took a sip from the glass of water.

He leans in forward to you. “I have something in surprise for you.” He whispered into your ear as he grabs your hair, putting it on to the side. Tilting your head to the side, you slowly closed your eyes, and a smirk formed on your face. “Before you ask, Doll.” With his metal hand, he places the back of his index finger against your skin, moving it from your shoulder to your neck to tracing your jaw until it got to the other side of your face. With his index finger, he tilts your face towards his direction, making eye contact with you. “I’m not telling you what it is.” He licks his lips as his eyes move up and down your face.

The moment that Peter got there, everyone celebrated his birthday. You and Bucky didn’t spend much time together. That didn’t matter. You knew once the sun was down, your hands were going to be all over him.

Later that day, you receive a text message from Bucky

5:38 pm Meet me by the Lake at 1 am, wear the suit that I packed for you, and don't be late.

When the night arrived, everyone was asleep. You found it odd because everyone would usually stay up late when it came to parties like this. But you knew that tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

Looking inside of your bag, you find the swimsuit that Bucky got for you. It was a two-piece baby blue bikini. Putting it on you, you looked at yourself in the mirror, and you noticed how well it fitted you. You placed your hair in a messy bun and proceeded to grab Bucky's jacket and wrapped yourself in it. It was getting chilly and going outside in a bikini. You knew you were going to be cold.

As you started to walk to the Lake, you feel arms wrap around you. This made you instantly turn around and face Bucky. He leans in and gives you a brief kiss. "Let's go somewhere else." He grabs your hand and starts to pull you towards the cabin once again. But he went around it where there was a hot tub.

The many times you were in that cabin, you never knew that it had a hot tub. So, it took you by surprise when Bucky took you there. He first gets in the hot tub and helps you get in by handing you his hand so you had somewhere to lean on.

Getting into the water, it felt nice feeling the warm hot water against your skin. The first thing you did was splash water at him. Bucky raises his left eyebrow and has a sly smirk on his face as he splashed water towards you. This made you chuckle a little bit. "Doll, be quiet. You don't want us to get caught, do you?" Bucky told you as he moved across the water so he can get closer to you. He was resting his knees at the bottom of the hot tub so he would be at eye level with you.

You shooked your head as you matched the same look Bucky was giving you. "you are going to be the reason why we get caught," you mimicked his voice as you scrunched your nose.

Bucky said nothing. Instead, he grabbed your waist and brought you closer until he was sitting on the other side and you were on his lap. He started at you with a smile on his face as he looked into your eyes. The blue lights of the water made you even glow more than before. After being away from him for hours, craving him all day, now you were able to wrap yourself around him.

You couldn't help yourself but giggle. You felt safe now being in his arms. You wrap your arms around his neck, moving in closer to him, your forehead almost touching his. Bucky tilts his head upwards and moves in closer to you. His lips were pressed against yours, his hands moving from your waist to your ass. He pulls you in closer against him. His tongue was slipping into your mouth, more desperate than usual because it had been all day since he hasn't felt your touch.

You let out a small noise. Your eyebrows were knitted together as you feel him growing hard underneath you. "you know how badly I've been craving to do this to you." He says in a deep raspy voice. His metal hand travels through your body until he goes and finds the hook of your bikini, playfully tugging it. "All fucking day, Bunny." He muttered, his lips moving from towards your neck.

Bucky teased you, licking you from your collarbone to the back of your ear. You nodded at the statement he said. You were craving him as much as he was craving you. You let out a small little noise of pleasure at the way he was holding you, talking to you, and kissing you.

"Then shown me, Bunny. How badly have you been craving this? Cause. I. Don't. Believe. You," he whispered into your ear. Bucky moved the sides of your bikini top, his metal hand going inside the material, exposing your breasts. Your nipples hardened from being exposed to the cold hair. Bucky took this as an opportunity to places his lips around it, tongue running along your skin.

You placed one of your hands on the ledge of the hot tub. Bucky hummed against your skin, sucking your nipple before pulling away. Meanwhile, your other hand went to his neck, gently digging your fingers onto his skin. His hand cupped your breast, and his metal thumb replaced his mouth, running along with the sensitive nipple as his lips move towards your neck "can you be a good girl and stay quiet for me?" You nodded briefly as quietly moaned as he gently pinched your nipple.

Bucky's hand travels from your breast to the material of your bikini. Ripping them on one of the sides. Meanwhile, one of your hands was removing his swim shorts. You could feel his cock against your ass, teasing himself with the feeling. He wanted you to take control of what can happen next. He moves both of his hands onto your hips.

Your heart was pounding. Something about being secretive and not getting caught made you want to get caught. You cautiously raised yourself from his lap, wrapping yourself around Bucky. You moved a couple of times, making it easier to line up along the head of his cock.

Bucky watched you closely, staring at the way you were taking control over him, especially as you sat down on his lap. "fuuuuuc-" he whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, placing his mouth against your shoulder to keep him from moaning out loud. Bucky's hand went up to your mouth, covering it in case if you were going to make any sounds. "You are so perfect for me, Bunny." He rambled in your ear, trying his best not to moan at the feelings the way that you were clenching around him.

He then began carefully guiding you up and down on top of him, so he could appreciate how incredible it felt. But he couldn't help himself as he felt your thighs quiver and heard a whine. Bucky began by grabbing your hips and pushing you so that you were bouncing on top of him, absorbing all of him as he stretched you out, hitting all the walls you needed him to strike, especially from his perspective.

Bucky brought his free hand down between your legs as he stated this, effortlessly finding your clit. He started rubbing in slow but rapid circles, his jaw clenching as he noticed how quickly you clenched around him.

His fingers on your clit sent shockwaves through your entire body. With the climax nearing, you let out a muffled whimper against his palm, your rhythm of riding him becoming sloppier.

He stared down at how beautiful you were, your ass bouncing against his legs, and he inadvertently squeezed the grasp on your face, making you gasp in delight. "I'd like for you to cum for me," Bucky asked, his fingers speeding up on your clit, in a trembling voice.

You didn't need to be reminded; you wouldn't have been able to hold it in for much longer regardless. You paid close attention to every aspect. The way he squeezed your face, the feel of his fingers on your clit.

Bucky's brows wrinkled, his lips pursed in concentration as he tried not to gasp out loud at the sensation. Your pulsating muscles were working his cock in the nicest way possible since you were so tight around him. He had no idea what was going on until it was too late. Bucky came inside of you, his free hand pushing your hips down on top of him, keeping you there as he stuffed you with himself. He bit down on your shoulder, muffling to himself.

"Fuck." He muttered, shifting his head away from your shoulder and tilting his head back. His moist chest heaved up and down frantically, attempting to catch his breath. When he took his hand away from your mouth, it instantly went to your waist, bringing you close to him.

You leaned against his chest, your hands on his wrapped-around-you arms. You wanted to stay like this forever.

It was already getting late, and you two needed to wake up early. Walking inside of the cabin, you and Bucky were carefully trying to make any noise. Luckily the room you both were staying in was on the first floor.

The instant that you and Bucky got into the room, you went straight to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day for the both of you.

[babyboibucky]

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

-

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ᴄᴀᴛ’s ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ?

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ᴄᴀᴍ ʙᴏʏ/ʀᴏᴏᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ! ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You have always been more modest not really ever having time to explore what could have been some sort of sensual alter ego and when Bucky finds out hes determined to bring the sex goddess in you out.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: slight fluff if you count flirty bucky, smut ofc (minors dni) [cam boy bucky (slight tipsy bucky and reader in the beginning); brief male masterbation (bucky has his door open during a session); fem!rec oral; hair pulling; spanking; real dirty talking; strong language, degradation; loss of virginity/ virgin reader but not innocent, touch starved reader, and overstim, overall pretty rough but aftercareeee]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: sorry in advanced if you don’t like iced coffee lol

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“There’s no way; you’re such a fucking liar,” Bucky threw his head back with laughter.

“I knew I shouldn’t have fucking said anything,” you scoff, rolling your eyes before standing up with annoyance.

“No! Don’t go, come on. I didn’t mean it like that,” he chuckled.

“Yeah right,” you scoffed.

“Can I ask why?”

“I mean, honestly. I just never really had time. Although, I did avoid sweaty football players all of high school, but being in uni I just want to grind and grind, you know? Finish school and get my degree. I don’t really have much time going out and getting laid,” you explained.

“Shit, does my… ‘side job’ make you uncomfortable? I didn’t realize how you would feel about it being a vir-”

“Buck, I’m a virgin, not innocent,” you chuckled.

“Damn straight,” Bucky laughed.

“Let me help you,” he said, making you laugh out loud.

"With what?" you asked in disbelief.

"Let me take your virginity. 'S better than fucking some random drunkard in a one night stand, and let's face it, you're not getting a boyfriend anytime soon."

You couldn't help but keep laughing at what he was saying.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“You’re so full of shit, Barnes,” you snorted, too drunk to notice that Bucky wasn’t laughing.

“Offer stands whenever, pretty girl.”

That was four weeks ago.

Since then, you feel like the tension between you and your roommate was especially thick since your tipsy confession. You couldn’t tell whether the things Bucky would say now were intentionally inappropriate or you just had a dirty mind. He seemed to always be shirtless; always.

“Did all your shirts catch fire? No, they got stolen, huh?” you joked.

“Har, har. Don’t be such a prude, pretty girl.”

“I’m not a prude,” you mumbled; at least he had the muscles to flaunt.

One quiet Friday evening, you sat in your room working away at your desk. You had been at it for a couple hours and as much as you wanted to throw in the towel you were so close to finishing everything you needed to finish this weekend. You went to the kitchen to grab a snack, maybe make a coffee, before drilling for the last hour to get everything done.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky said, standing with a glass of whiskey in hand. He always drinks before filming.

“Gettin’ ready for your… stuff?” you asked.

“What stuff?” he asked cheekily, making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I haven’t posted anything in a couple weeks and my subscribers are thirsty,” he told you.

“I can only imagine,” you joked.

“Well, baby, I’m in the next room if you wanna stop imagining,” he said flirtatiously

“Fuck off. I’m just here to get coffee,” you smirked, grabbing the things you’ll need from the fridge.

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” Bucky said, smacking your ass hard before leaving for his room; you scoffed rolling your eyes at his antics.

You turned around making the coffee itself mindlessly before you grew slight concern when you had yet to hear the door of Bucky’s bedroom to shut. He always kept his door shut whilst you wore headphones blasting music so you wouldn’t have to listen to his unnecessary moaning and cursing. You silently begged the machine to hurry it’s brewing as Bucky began talking and moaning to his audience.

You gritted your teeth hearing him so clearly. Your breathing quickened and you felt your cheeks heat up. You hated how you wondered if he really was as vocal in bed as he portrayed online. You hated the way your stomach flipped and the tingle between your thighs. You’ve never felt so aroused before, you didn’t know what to do.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, and you swallowed the dry lum in your throat.

You don’t even know how long you stood in the kitchen listening to Bucky. You were incredibly aroused, wetness pooling between your thighs. Your hands gripped at the counter desperate to not let your knees buckle as he got closer to his release.

“God, fuck you James,” you mumbled to yourself.

You couldn’t take it the groans he practically was screaming from his room. You stomped your way to his room to yell at him to close the door. You were enraged but you don’t really know why. Bucky’s side job never bothered so much until now and truthfully he wasn’t really to blame for how turned on you felt hearing him.

“Can you close the goddamn door?” you yelled approaching his bedroom.

“I hate to interrupt but I can fucking hear you- in the… kitchen,” you trailed off.

Bucky sat on his bed completely nude. His cheeks were red and his forehead had a layer of sweat as did his very smooth and very toned chest. Your body completely froze. It’s not that you hadn’t seen a man naked before. You’ve watched porn during the more stressful and lonelier nights, but Bucky was beautiful.

“Care to join?” Bucky breathed with a stupid smile.

“Jesus,” you gasped.

“I ain’t forget about that offer, pretty girl,” Bucky stood, chuckling when you visibly trembled.

“Whatcha say? You ready to finally deflower?” Bucky walked closer to you with a devilish smirk plastered on his handsome face.

“I’m sorry-” you stumbled over your words.

Your stomach fluttered from nervousness and arousal, your skin bursted into chills despite how hot and sweaty you were beginning to feel. You kept your eyes trained to anywhere but Bucky’s assets.

"What's wrong, pretty girl? Cat's got your tongue?" he teased.

"James," you said sternly.

"Baby, I can make you feel so good. All you have to do is say the word," he whispered in your ear, making you shudder.

You know deep inside you that this wasn't a good idea in the long run. It sounds so tempting now but what would happen afterwards? What would happen to your friendship?

"Stop thinking so hard. Just let me make you feel good, please," he begged.

His hands caressed your sides and you couldn't resist squirming; he hasn't even touched you.

"I can tell you're starving. Itching to be touched by someone. Those lonely nights with a laptop and your fingers isn't enough. I can help you, pretty girl. Give you so much and more; give you nirvana. Just say the word," he spoke slowly, sensually; you were damn near shaking just from his words.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what?" he teased; Bucky was drunk off the power he had over you.

"Fuck me. Use me. Ruin me," you begged.

"As you wish."

Bucky grabbed the back of your neck smashing his lips to yours. He grinded his hips into you and you feel his hard on digging into you. Your fingers dug into the soft skin of his chest leaving small red marks and scratches littered.

Bucky moved his hand up behind your head, curling his fingers in your hair pulling harshly. his lips instantly attached to your neck biting and sucking to mark you, so you remember he was the one who made you feel euphoric in the coming days. He wants you to remember this night.

"Shit, that feels so good," you sighed.

"That's just the beginning, pretty girl. Get on the bed," he demanded.

You scurried to bed tearing your shirt and shorts off leaving you in your dark lacey undergarments.

"It's like you were ready for me to fuck you," he chuckled darkly.

He crawled up the bed to you like an animal hunting and taunting its prey. You couldn't help but nibble on your bottom lip, anxious for what was to come from Bucky.

His hands gripped your waist firmly pulling impossibly close to his body. He kissed you again and you swore you could stay like that forever. His lips felt so soft again yours, you melted against his body from pleasure.

His hands circled your back and pulled at the bra clasp before swiftly undoing it and letting free. You shrugged your shoulders to your ears allowing the straps of the bra fall gracefully down your upper arm before Bucky curled his finger over the front and tossed it aside to admire your chest.

Your shoulders subconsciously caved in, embarrassed to be so unclothed in front of someone for the first time. Again, you weren't innocent but anyone would still be nervous for their first time. Bucky smiled softly at your timidness; his hands rubbing your sides slowly and comforting to help ease your nerves a bit.

"You are so gorgeous, baby."

"Don't get sappy, Barnes," you joked; but in reality you don't need another reason to fall deeper for him. Not that you're falling to begin with.

"Yes ma'am," he grinned.

He flipped the both of you over so you laid on your back. His hands gently kneaded your breasts pulling moans from you with every squeeze. He leaned down, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting your perked buds, circling his tongue around. Your back arched into him and you think you can handle the pleasure but you find yourself involuntarily getting higher and higher. Moaning and gasping louder every time Bucky would bite down hard on your nipple. The last straw was when Bucky brought his fingers between your thighs and barely pressed against your aching clit that you fell suddenly over the edge crying Bucky's name.

"Did you just-"

"Fuck, I'm sorry! I don't know what happened. I- Everything just-"

Bucky cut you off with a deep kiss.

"Don't be sorry," he chuckled.

"It's really hot that I was able to make you cum by just playing with these beauties," he flicked your nipples and squeezed your breats making you tremble.

“Shit, too much,” you whined.

Bucky ignored you once again, dipping his head back down, flicking his tongue over your overly sensitive buds. The squeal you made made Bucky chuckle darkly but he didn’t want to torture you so his lips trailed slowly down the valley of your breasts to you belly and hip bones. His fingers curled over your panties dragging them slowly down your legs.

“Fucking hell, pretty girl. You’re dripping. You’ve just been aching for me to get my hands on you for a while, huh?” Bucky taunted.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Absolutely gorgeous.”

Bucky’s hands rested against your knees pushing them as far as they could go before diving in you like a starved man. Truthfully, Bucky had dreamed of this moment since he met you for the first time moving in. As the days, weeks, and years went by, the urge to resist kissing and fucking you stupid was getting all to much. But now he finally has you under him, at his mercy and he was determined to pleasure as much as he could before getting his cock anywhere near you.

Bucky brought his fingers to circle your entrance, waiting until your legs were nearly shaking from the teasing. As he pushed his fingers past your folds, he brought his mouth down again kissing right above your clit. You gasped and sighed in pleasure as he pumped his fingers in and out of you heavenly.

“Shit, feels so good. So, so good,” you moaned.

Bucky’s tongue brushed over your clit and you couldn’t resist bucking your hips, pushing his fingers deeper inside you. Your back arched off the bed and your hands shot to his head tugging on his dark locks harshly. Bucky’s moans from your tugs vibrated against you and you knew you weren’t going to last any longer.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Bucky! Shit!” you shrieked.

“Come on, pretty girl. Be a good girl and come all over my fingers,” he said.

Seconds later, you reached your high, crying Bucky’s names again as if it was the only word you knew how to say. Your head practically dangled off the bed, scooting closer and closer to edge desperate to pull away from Bucky’s talented mouth.

“God, you’re beautiful when you fall apart like that,” Bucky mumbled against your heated skin.

Sweat lined your forehead and your chest, your hair was scattered across the sheets like a maniac, and your skin along your neck down to your inner thighs was littered with little bruises and bite marks from Bucky. You looked ethereal.

“One more. Can you give me one more?” Bucky asked softly.

“Fuck,” you whimpered.

“Such a good girl. I know you can, come on.”

Bucky gently flipped your body over, laying you on your stomach. He kissed down your spine, whispering sweet and kind things to you. You can’t even register what he’s saying because his godly erection is poking your ass and you're practically aching again to be railed by him.

“So eager for my cock, aren’t ya? Already being such a greedy little whore.”

“Please, Bucky,” you begged, wiggling your ass against his crotch.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good; gonna ruin you for anyone else,” he whispered in your ear before biting on your earlobe.

He stood tall on his knees behind you gripping your hips, roughly pulling them flush against his pelvis; you pushed yourself up on your hands. He grabbed his aching cock, the tip red and leaking with precum. Bucky doesn’t even know how he was able to last so long without cumming but he did and now all he wants to do is cum deep inside you.

“Ready, pretty girl?” he teased, rubbing your cheeks softly with his hands.

“Fuck me good, James,” you moaned.

Bucky lined his dick with your entrance slowly pushing the tip past your folds. The burning sensation caused you to hiss and tense around Bucky, who instantly stopped his movements.

“No, it’s ok; you’re just bigger than I was anticipating,” you fussed.

“It’s ok. If it’s too much you tell me to stop,” Bucky told you.

“No, don’t stop, please!” you whined.

“Don’t get greedy,” Bucky warned.

“Think you can handle all of me?”

“Fuck,” you muttered.

He pushed his hips further in you slowly, careful to not hurt you. His hands ran slowly up your body before curling his fingers through your hair and pulling your head up. Once he bottomed out, he rested for a minute until you were ready for him to move.

“Holy fucking hell, baby. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, shit,” Bucky groaned above you.

“I feel so- full.”

“‘S like you were made for me, pretty girl.”

Bucky’s hips began to move faster and faster pulling moans from you that was music to his ears. Bucky relished in your sex. He used every ounce of willpower in him to keep control but you felt so heavenly, so sublime. He couldn’t hold back any longer. You could tell that Bucky was holding back and you didn’t want him to. He pleasured you twice already, it was his turn to feel good and if letting go would do that for him you would let him.

“Come on, Bucky. Fuckin’ ruin me!”

“Don’t say shit like that,” he grunted, still thrusting his hips.

“I can take it, baby. Use me,” you told him.

Bucky’s hips stilled only for a second before you felt a sharp stinging on your right ass cheek.

“You want me to fuck you like a whore? Fine, I will,” Bucky growled before pulling out and flipping you over.

Bucky rammed his hips into you fast and rough. His hand went to wrap around your throat squeezing the sides and your eyes rolled back. Tears brimmed your eyes and you cried out over and over again. You felt used, corrupted, violated. You love it.

“Fuck, yes!”

“Shit, I’m gonna fucking come,” Bucky groaned.

Bucky released your throat before dipping his head in the crook of your neck. His groans and moans were muffled by your skin. Your hands wrapped around his neck and your legs too wrapped around his torso pulling his body flushed against yours. Your nails ran down Bucky’s back; he breathed in sharply through gritted teeth before moaning loudly in your ear from the pleasurable sting.

Chasing his release along with yours, Bucky’s thrusts became relentless. Animalistic. Feral, even. Everything felt overwhelming. It didn’t take much longer until you felt Bucky’s stuttering thrusts and the spurts of warm cum coating your velvety walls. Bucky completely relaxed on top of you, his breath heavily hitting your sweaty skin. You scratched his back softly coming down from your own high breathing equally as heavily.

“You feeling ok, pretty girl?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Yeah,” you whispered with a stupid grin on your face.

“You did amazing, you know?” Bucky kissed you softly; your stomach fluttering at the action.

“What now?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Now, I’m going to take care of you,” Bucky said, hopping off you and the bed.

You laid there breathing slowly now. You didn’t have the energy to move at this point. Your inner thighs burned deliciously and the soreness began to be more apparent all over your body. Bucky came back with a warm towel and bottle of water from the kitchen. He cleaned you up with the towel and you could help the soft moans and whimpers that escaped from you. Once you were cleaned, Bucky helped you sit up and held the now open water bottle for you to hydrate yourself. You couldn’t shake the butterflies and chills you got from Bucky’s stare. He couldn’t take his eyes off you anymore; like you hung the moon and stars for him.

“What?” you asked shyly.

“Nothing,” he grinned.

“Come on. You’ve gotta go pee,” he said carrying you in his arms towards his bathroom.

“No, I just want to go to sleep already,” you whined, voice muffled in the crook of his neck.

Bucky sat on you on the toilet and waited for you to… do your business. You just sat there squirming, and shaking from the cold that hit your body.

“Come on. You have to,” Bucky explained.

“I know, but I can’t pee in front of you. I’m shy,” you mumbled.

“Seriously, I just fucked-”

“Bucky, please,” you cut him off.

“Oh alright. Come back to bed when you’re finished, pretty girl,” Bucky said before leaving you.

You couldn’t shake the smile off your face. He was being so caring and nice to you, it warmed your heart. You felt a bit of heartbreak however wondering if this was just a one time thing. You cleaned yourself again and washed your hands before snatching one of Bucky's t-shirts that laid on the floor. When you came out Bucky was fiddling with his camera that was still set-up and your heart dropped.

Had he recorded the whole thing?

“I was gonna delete all the footage, but in all honesty you look so fucking sexy. Might keep it for myself,” he said winking.

“You recorded the whole thing without telling me?” you asked, tearing up.

“I didn’t mean to. I’m not gonna post it anywhere. You sorta screamed my name a few times so footage ain’t good anyway,” he said, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“Hey, hey. I’m kidding. I’ll delete all of it, I promise,” he cupped your face.

“Come here; I gotta do one more thing for you,” he said, laying you down on the bed once again.

“What are you doing?” Bucky grabbed another towel and some scented lotion placing it on his bedside table.

“I’m gonna give you a massage. You’ll be less sore tomorrow morning. I’ll admit I was a bit rough,” he said, kissing your belly as he lifted his shirt off your body.

“You do this to all the girls you sleep with?” you teased, not really wanting an answer but you’ll play a part if it keeps from being humiliated because of feelings.

“Only the pretty girls,” he says, fully referencing his nickname he gave you a while ago.

“And how many pretty girls might you have?”

“There’s only one,” he whispered; his hands massaging along your back slowly, sensually.

“She must be really lucky,” you whispered too, afraid of speaking too loud.

“If anything, I’d say I’m the lucky one.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, she’s… she’s perfect. Beautiful. Smart. I could go on about her.”

“She sounds like a prude,” you joked.

“She was,” he chuckled.

“But trust me, now she’s a real feisty and sexy woman,” Bucky said before biting down hard on one of your ass cheeks.

“Ow! Bucky!” you squealed, making Bucky laugh.

Bucky tossed the towel away and placed the lotion back on the bedside table before grabbing the blankets and crawling under them with you. He held you close, entangling his legs with yours, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You mean all that?” you asked barely audibly.

“Yeah. I do, pretty girl.”

“You don’t have to delete the video,” you smirked, making Bucky laugh out loud.

He kissed your forehead snuggling closer to you, letting peaceful sleep envelop you both.

=============================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101-blog​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@povsmarvel0720

@missroro

Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@stolenxkissess

@bucknastayyy38

[modx-reborn]

intentionally getting ghostbur addicted to you. Keeping him on the edge of arousal whenever ur around with teasing, telling him filthy things and then carrying on with casual conversation, getting him to cockwarm you until he feels empty without you, all this until his thoughts are vaguely clouded with lust 'n' he just wants to be full of you. Bonus points if you don't ever make him cum (not necessarily edging, just not getting him there) or rail him like he deserves until he comes to you head completely hazy 'n' he's not entirely sure why he feels so strange, all he knows is there's a heat pooling in his stomach 'n' a deep emptiness inside him that can only be filled by your cock. eeeextra bonus points for size kink.

Oooo anon comen through with those phat assed ideas!

HE was a common visitor to your home, in love with the flower fields you had grown for dye's and even more infatuated with the flock multicoloured sheep that lived in your fields, all dyed and ready for steering, a perfect place for his own sheep to stay as he lingered in your home, lounging and indulging in your company whenever he saw fit or remembered that you were also there with him.

But the forgetting you would soon come to an end.

As all it took was a bad day in the city to have him running back out to your farm, to spend a few days forgetting whatever had happened before he was curious about something you were making, wanting to understand why you had been diluting slime with water into a strange oily substance, only to fluster at your explanation and offer of experiencing it first hand.

Having him seated in your lap, able to feel how your cock pressed against his ass, ignoring how he squirms and questions it, only to shudder at your words when you answer him, cooing and whispering at him before moving him off and carrying on with what you were doing. Luring the ghost in as he begins to fluster at even the bare minimum of contact from you, making him yearn for what you can do to him.

Wide white eyes and deeply flushed grey cheeks can be seen in the mirror as you work the ghost open, undead he may be but in pain is not something you want from this, no you want him to remember this and yearn for it, to want and want and want for this when you're not there to give it to him.

Finally getting him to be prepped enough to have him slowly sink down on your length, mouth falling open as you bottom out, wrapping your arms around the cold man and pressing your chin to his shoulder, cooing at the ghost once again, making him sit still and take you, whispering promises of more if he is good for you.

"Shhh pretty boy, keep still and I'll make it even better, give you more hmm? Let you understand what I meant when I said mind-numbing, so be a good boy and sit still, I've still got work to do and can't have you distracting me right now."

Not only did you deliver on the mind-numbing, but you had most certainly left the ghost needing more, as throughout your work with him wrapped around your cock you had bounced and bucked your hips, all in the name of getting comfortable of course, working him up and listing to him whine when you pulled out leaving him empty and wanting something he couldn't name.

And oh how that wanting had consumed him.

Not soon after he was back, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, hands pressed to his stomach, twisting the yellow sweater under his hands as he waits for you, mind even more frazzled and off as you call his name. Hiding a smirk is hard as he stumbles over his words trying to find a way to describe the feeling that had come over him, pouting and whining when all he can give you is 'empty, feels so empty' beckoning him inside is so easy now, as is getting him to pull off all the layers he normally wore.

"Now Ghostbur honey, need you to say it for me again. Tell me exactly what is wrong with you so I can help, otherwise, I may just have to leave you feeling all fuzzy and empty, and oh how I would hate to leave you like that. So be a good little ghost for me and tell me just what you need..."

[emeren]

soft touches - eren jaeger

🍓 anon request 

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader 

word count: 1.7k 

content warnings: 18+, smut, vanilla sex 

notes: i tried a new, more descriptive approach to this oneshot! as usual im unconfident in my writing capabilities however i hope you all enjoy it! i was definitely not expecting to start AND finish it today!! love you all, enjoy! <3

SUMMARY: eren shares a tender moment with the reader after an innocent cuddle session. 

the warm, fresh air seeped into the room as your eyes drowsily watched the leaves dance in the wind. it was an entirely peaceful moment; born of love and content. you could clearly see a small bumblebee bump carelessly into the window screen, the muscles in your face too lazy to produce a smile. 

there was a comforting weight on your stomach; that of your boyfriend’s head. his breathing would have you believe he was asleep, but he was far too preoccupied in memorizing the way your fingers lightly combed through his soft hair to let rest overcome him. 

in the distance, someone started up a lawnmower. you loved peaceful june afternoons, fresh out of the school year and ready for recuperation. eren seemed to feel the same; the way his arms tightened around your waist at the sound indicating so. 

“such a nice day,” you sighed, eyes half-lidded. eren hummed against your abdomen, the vibration eliciting a quirk in your lips. he was rarely so relaxed, normally on some kick to create chaos. it was this duality only you were so fortunate to experience that made you love him so. “we should probably go outside to make the most of it.” 

eren groaned in disapproval. “mmm, too comfortable.” 

his head shifted on your stomach, the fabric of your shirt lifting slightly. it was hot today, eren clad in just a pair of shorts. the heat had you incapacitated, unable to protest his nagging need to maintain physical contact. 

your fingers lifted from his hair, teal eyes snapping open in annoyed response. “it’s too hot in here, i feel like i’m suffocating.” 

eren propped himself up, one arm on either side of your waist with his legs off to the side. “i don’t think so.” he pouted. 

“you’re hardly clothed!” you groaned out, gesturing to his lack of a shirt. eren smiled childishly, collapsing down onto you whilst burying his face in your neck. you could feel his lips ghost a kiss on the flesh. 

“y’know,” he mumbled against you. “that’s an option for you, too.” 

“please,” you chuckled lightly, trying to ignore the feeling of his lips moving up the crook of your neck. “not all of us like walking around practically naked.” 

your boyfriend rested his head down again, fingers tracing circles on the skin of your bare arm. “more freeing that way. and, not as hot.” 

“you’re impossible,” you heaved out in a feigned annoyance, a gust of warm wind rattling through the leaves outside. eren said nothing more, subtly rubbing his cheek against your neck. 

moments passed; possibly minutes, or maybe even an hour. either way, the two of you basked in your silence together, the feeling of an inescapable heat beginning to settle on your brow. as if sensing your discomfort, eren lifted himself above you. 

a soft breeze blew through the window, ruffling his slightly wavy hair. he was looking down at you, eyelids half closed and gaze sleep ridden. 

“eren, if you’re tired you should sl-” he cut you off by swiftly leaning down, pressing his lightly chapped lips against your own.

you realized quickly that eren was the heat; he was the way your stomach bottomed out and your heart swelled. it wasn’t the burning of summer but rather the passion and intense emotion of a deeply flawed yet beautiful human being. you were sure the kiss was meant to be a simple gesture, but it quickly became more as his fingers caressed your jawline.

you found yourself inviting the heat in, parting your lips slightly as his tongue swiped hungrily against your own. he was a dominating presence, shifting his hold against your body so that his hips could straddle above yours. you brought your hand up to his broad shoulder, eren deepening the kiss at the feeling of fingers against his bare skin. 

surely eren knew the way your body ached for him, desperate for his touch. his sharp nose pressed into the soft flesh of your cheek, mouth glued to your own as he intrusively invited more of himself within you. 

your mouth was completely occupied with his tongue at this point, the smell of freshly mowed grass heavily overpowered by the scent of his cologne. eren was intoxicating like that, your brain becoming heavy with the overwhelming power of him. by the time you were able to acknowledge the burning desire within you, he’d already consumed the rational part of your mind. 

your lips wrapped delicately around his tongue, head bobbing gently as you sucked on the exposed muscle. this was the one action you knew drove eren especially crazy, a deep rumble rising from the bottom of his chest. he groaned out, the erotic sound only egging you on. the burning heat of summer and his exposed body was too much - it was too much to bear. you pulled back, resting your head against the pillow. 

there was without a doubt a sheen of sweat against your forehead, eren wordlessly continuing his assault on your inner temperature. his lips were hot, placing wet, open mouthed kisses down your neck till he reached your collarbone. you suddenly understood why he favored walking around shirtless, the thin layer of cotton feeling like a wool sweater as he sucked generously on the skin above your bones. 

he didn’t say anything as he lifted himself up, burning fingertips lifting the hem of your shirt. you raised enough for him to peel the article of clothing from your warm body, the newfound coolness swiftly being bombarded by eren’s heat. 

his lips once again found your own, but the action was sloppier this time. his mouth was slick with saliva, fingers tracing the place where your waist dipped towards your hips. it felt as though he left his imprint wherever he touched.

speaking of imprints, as you whimpered into the kiss you could feel pressure beginning to make itself known against the apex of your thigh. eren shamelessly ground his hips into yours, the well known heat spreading itself between your legs. 

“eren,” you moaned into his mouth. he pulled back at the sound, lips parted as he panted in your face. eren had always been a sucker for eye contact, his gaze steely as he pressed his hard cock against your clothed center. 

“fuck,” he hissed, glancing down to the spot where your bodies melded together. his biceps were flexed on either side of your head, eyes catching on the way they were beginning to glisten with sweat. look who’s hot now. “do you want it, baby?” 

the heat was intrusive, your clit throbbing unceremoniously as you looked up at your boyfriend. the way his hair swayed in the summer air, pupils dilated with something of lust. the words were out of your mouth without question. “yes, now please.” 

eren chuckled lightly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “so needy.” 

as he propped himself up to yank his shorts down, you quickly slipped your own down your hips. 

being with eren was a normally extensive and emotional affair. it involved build up, tension, and often times, some sort of repressed aggression. and you loved every second of it. 

but it was the times like these; the times where eren looked at you with love as he slid the tip of his cock against your entrance. times where he leaned down to press a tender kiss to your lips as he slid into you, his size a comfortable stretch within your walls. it was times where eren really showed you just how much you meant to him. 

you bent your knees upwards as eren pressed his sticky chest against yours, the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of your tight cunt only making the room feel insufferably hotter. his hips were moving tantalizingly slow; each thrust a deliberate brush against your cervix. there was a buildup in your stomach, eren’s breath fanning across your shoulder as he watched his dick stretch you out so nicely. 

“taking it so good,” he grunted out, his eyes coming up to trace along the frame of your face. something about you pressed beneath him, face shiny in the swelter of summer as you scrunched your nose up to keep from making too much noise sent him into a frenzy. he couldn’t help himself, the way you clenched around him nearly too good to be true. 

he dug his hips into yours, the rhythmic thrusts forcing you to fist the sheets beneath you. each stroke of his dick had you falling closer into yourself, his large hand coming to squeeze your breast as he lost control of himself. 

there was sweat trickling down his furrowed brow, the normally disgusting bodily function only serving to shove you further into your arousal. the way he was fucking you so intentionally making your toes curl. 

“gonna cum,” eren growled, clenching his jaw as he bucked his pelvis against yours. you could feel yourself approaching your high, inching ever more closer as his hand left your breast to rub feverishly against your clit. 

the heat reached its high as you pulsated around eren’s cock, the wave of dopamine crashing over your body as your limbs grew cold in ecstasy. your breathing was labored as he pulled himself from you, giving his dick a couple of desperate pumps before he was cumming against your stomach, painting you as his canvas. 

“that’s hot,” eren grinned, his chest heaving as he pressed a steamy kiss to your lips. you smiled, swiping your forehead dry with your hand as he pulled away. 

“well, when i said i wanted to make the most of the afternoon, that’s not exactly what i had in mind,” you sighed as eren grabbed a rag to wipe at your stomach. he looked content, hair messy against his shoulders. 

“let’s go take a cold shower,” he suggested, standing to offer you a hand. you graciously accepted, interlocking your fingers. the heat he’d so intently placed inside of you beginning to fade. eren gave you one last kiss to the forehead, that hazy look back in his eyes. “i love you.” 

“i love you, too.” 

<3 <3 <3 

[l-strawberry-lawliet]

Sniffle

L. Lawliet x S/I//Reader

Rating: Was General, now Mature

Type: Fluff and Smut all mixed together, oddly enough

Summary: Reader//S/I starts to get sick and L refuses to care about germs as he cuddles them and takes care of them. Technically gender neutral but with a DFAB SI in mind.

“No, don’t touch me, I’m sick,” I whined in protest as L crawled into bed with me. Not only did I not want him to see me when I felt so gross, I didn’t want him getting too close and making it easier for me to spread my germs.

“I’m quite aware that you’re sick,” he murmured, his arms sliding around me as he tugged me into his chest and nestled his face into my neck. “That’s why I’m here, to comfort you and take care of you.”

“But I’ll get you sick,” I protested weakly, my resolve already fading as I relaxed into his hold. Being around L always made me soft and weak. He held my heart in the palms of his hands.

“Mm, the likelihood exceeds sixty percent, but still, how could I leave my love to suffer?”

He kissed my pulse-point as he spooned me and I thought I might melt. “You don’t deserve to suffer with me, and you have a case, don’t you?”

His lips ghosting over the shell of my ear followed by the puff of his breath made me shudder. “Do you mean the case I just solved within five hours?”

One of his hands gently squeezed my breast, fingers lightly flicking my nipple through my thin nightgown.

“You already closed it?” Before he could answer, a vicious cough wracked by body, ripping itself free of my throat as I wheezed and sputtered.

“And I won’t be taking another for at least a week. My contacts know through Watari that I am taking care of a personal matter.”

“That’s one way to put taking care of your sick partner and intentionally getting sick with them.”

I could practically feel that small, self-satisfied twitch of his lips as he smirked, even without seeing his face. Another cough erupted, making me gasp as I scrabbled desperately for breath. The tickling itch in my throat intensified as the stream of coughing continued, lungs spasming helplessly with every breath I managed between gasps. L held me through it all, not flinching in the slightest.

When I finally regained control of my body, he eased me into an upright position. He allowed my tired body to slump against him, bearing most of my weight as he reached for one of the thermoses sitting on the nightstand. He unscrewed the cap and passed it to me, kissing my temple. “Drink. I made it for you.”

I unscrewed the lid, immediately hit by a combined sweet and herbal scent. Taking a small sip, I tasted honey, lemon, and ginger. The steam wafting from the mixture licked against my cheeks as I drank small mouthfuls in order to avoid scalding my tongue. It did an excellent job soothing my throat, some of the soreness abating almost instantly. I inhaled its fragrance again before replacing the lid, sighing as I handed the thermos back to L. “Thanks babe.”

He smiled, something soft, fond, and genuine, reaching out to caress my jawline with the knuckle of his index finger. “I do so adore seeing your cheeks flushed, just not like this.”

He kissed the side of my nose and I flinched back, still not wanting to drag him down with me. L, however, was having none of it as he cupped my cheek and leaned in for a kiss, thumb pressing on my bottom lip. His own lips were as soft as ever, his mouth just as inviting. My will to push him away faded, even when he slipped his tongue between my slightly parted lips. My breath quickened and I hoped to whatever gods were listening that I wouldn’t suddenly cough into his mouth. I hated making him sick. I wanted to push him off of me and demand he keep his distance when he guided me onto my back without breaking the kiss, but when one of his hands trailed up my inner thigh, my traitorous body parted my legs for him. Even sick I wanted him, wanted him to touch me. I craved it and he knew it.

“My my,” L purred. “No underwear, love? Were you secretly hoping all along that I would ignore your no-sick contact policy?”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. “No, of course not. I really don’t want to get you sick.”

“Too late, love.” He held my gaze as he penetrated me with three of his tantalizingly long fingers. I involuntarily clamped down on them with a soft moan. “Being that I have already been exposed, however, I think we should make the most of it.”

“Make the most of it?”

“Thoroughly.”

He lifted my nightgown with his free hand, meticulously placing a kiss on every inch of my breasts as his fingers worked, twisting and pressing and curling until my fists clenched in the blankets by my side, the muscles of my lower stomach and thighs tensing. “L,” I whimpered.

“It’s okay to let go,” he whispered, nose trailing along my collarbone. “I wanted you to come so you could get some proper rest and sleep well. After all, orgasm triggers the release of so many helpful substances: oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, endorphins...”

The smooth current of his voice, so calm, so steady, so sure, washed over me as an orgasm hit, so intense that it obliterated the cough that wanted to form, my breath coming out in a ragged exhale. L’s fingers kept working as if trying to physically pluck the pleasure into the light. I was floating, mind clouded with a rush of bliss, but I still noticed when L’s weight shifted on the bed, his fingers receding from slick warmth. He curled up next to me again, drawing me into the circle of his arms with his fingers gently rubbing my clit. His nuzzled his cheek lovingly against my own. “Try to go to sleep now, love. When you wake up you can have some more soup.”

My hips bucked toward his hand, clit swollen and sensitive with stimulation even as my eyes drooped tiredly. “I love you.”

“As I love you.”

Already sleepy from my first orgasm, I went limp with euphoria from the second, fading from consciousness in L’s embrace as he peppered chaste kisses onto the side of my neck and stroked my embarrassingly sweaty hair away from my face. Maybe sharing my germs was worth it if it meant I could still fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat or his soft murmurs as he started to recite the details of his last case.

[lilevixen]

heyyy, idk if u write bertholdt or are even taking requests, but if u are can i request giving bertholdt an orgasm denial from a f!reader and it’s been like 3 hours that he’s had to hold it? thanks if u can :)

sweet boy

Characters: sub!Bertholdt Hoover x dom!female bodied reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Reader teaches Bertholdt a lesson after he gets a bit too touchy with them in front of their friends

•WARNING- 18+ CONTENT: orgasm denial, no-contact orgasm, descriptions of oral sex (male receiving), dacryphilia(ish?)•

“Baby, please, I said I was s-sorry!” Bertholdt whined from across the room for what felt like the millionth time that evening. You casted a look of faux boredom over your shoulder from your small wooden desk, trying your best to remain blasé at the mouth-watering sight of your boyfriend still sat criss-cross applesauce completely bare on the bed. He was so good for you, so obedient; his arms never once left from behind his back for entirety of the time you had him there. How long did you have him there? After you two got back from the dining hall, minutes easily spilled into hours in the smudgy haze of repressed lust you had established. The only indicator of how long Berthodlt had been sitting there for, cock upright and twitching for attention, was how absolutely worn out he looked. Every inch of his deep, tan skin was glittering with sweat, cords of muscle in his thighs and abdomen strained beneath his flesh so severely they looked like they could snap any second, his chest heaved erratically as if he had just run a marathon- this was absolute torture for him, you could tell. You would’ve felt bad, if he hadn’t disobeyed you in the first place.

“Huh? I was reading, sweetie. I didn’t hear you,” a bald-faced lie on your part. Your eyes kept tracking over the same paragraph over and over again without absorbing any of the information in your brain, the sweet pleas of your boyfriend claiming all the space in your mind instead. His lip quivered at your persistence in feigning ignorance of his situation and tears quickly filled his dark eyes.

“P-Please! Can you please t-touch me? I need you so bad I think I might e-explode,” he stammered out, his voice meek but desperate, shameless, so needy and you felt it throb between your legs, adding to the arousal already collecting along your inner thighs. Despite how incredibly turned on you were, you let out a slow sigh hiss past your lips as if you were getting irritated.

“Well, you got to touch me plenty, sweets. In front of everyone, just like I asked you not to,” excitement overtook your annoyance some time ago, but what you brought up was a genuine point of contention. From the very beginning you made it clear you wanted your relationship to be private. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him or anything, you just hated all the unnecessary attention couples garnered, all the mindless gossip and speculation of who plays what role, the whispers, the stares. And once Bertholdt had gotten comfortable with you, always seeking your touch like a love sick little puppy, you knew this was something that needed to be discussed. He agreed at the time, ‘if it means I get to be with you, I guess it’s okay,’ he said, but as things progressed he would give away your relationship in little ways. At first it was just the way he would look at you (which was only natural given your feeling for each other, you supposed), staring at your lips for a little too long when you spoke, a little twinkle of fondness in his warm eyes. You let this slide, because it was minimal and no one seemed to notice. But slowly, he started doing more and more things that you had to call him out on, resting his head on your shoulder, using his thumb to tenderly swipe crumbs of food off your face, nearly calling you baby- until finally, tonight in the dining hall while having supper with your friends, he practically announced you two were together by kissing your hand when you burnt it on a scalding bowl of soup. Porco was too involved with his food to notice, but you could feel Reiner and Annie’s eyes hovering over you as if you were an alien. Too embarrassed to handle their reactions, you excused yourself to your room and quickly left before they even had a chance to say anything, Bertholdt obviously right on your heels. He tried to embrace you and kiss you and apologize to make it all better, but his penchant for physical affection was what got you in this situation in the first place. So that’s when you decided to give him a little time-out. Even though, your edge was starting to wear down after hearing him whine out for you for so long.

“I know! I-I just don’t like seeing you get hurt! I didn’t think they were looking at us, I’m sorry Y/N!” he choked out, squirming against the air as if that would provide some sort of relief. “I’m s-so hard for you it feels like ‘m gonna pass out.”

“Oh really? And what do you want me to do about that?” You asked in a snarky tone to mask the unadulterated lust pulsing through you, going back to fake-reading your text book.

“I want you to touch me! I want to feel you, any part of you, until I cum over and over…” you could hear the thought in his voice as he got lost in what he was describing, and you didn’t need to turn around to know he was biting his lip with his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut and brows knitted. Another hot rush of arousal swirled in deep in your stomach.

“You know I can’t do that, baby,” you said against your own body’s command.

“Y-Yes you can! I promise I’ll be good from now on, I w-won’t hold your hand or kiss you or hug you in front of anyone again! Just please, I need you Y/N,” maybe it was your own excitement, or how fucking good he sounded begging for you like a pitiful little boy, but this finally broke your resolve. It would be cruel to let him stay there like that all night, anyway. You pushed yourself out of your seat and made your way to Berthdolt’s trembling form on the bed. Even you just getting closer to him caused his heavy breathing to pick up pace.

“How do you want me, my sweet boy?” you purred, laying down flat on your stomach before his lanky body so that his dick towered above you like a skyscraper.

“A-Any way,” he looked down at you beneath his dark, fluttering lashes, swiveling his hips in anticipation of your touch. You let out a soft scoff.

“Be specific or I can’t help you~,” you said with a sweet lilt in your voice, harsh words laced with honey. His eyes blew open wide at your threat to leave him a writhing, unfulfilled mess for even longer than you already had.

“Can you take me in your mouth? Please?” A new wave of blush spread across his cheeks as he said this, and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was.

“There you go, baby,” you giggled. You guided your featherlight fingertips along the slick muscle of his thighs, causing him to tense up immediately, and you could actually see the thrum of his heartbeat racing beneath his skin in faint flits. He was so sensitive by now you didn’t doubt he would explode just like he said before. Your fingers playfully walked along the slope of his legs, working their way inwards, and you teased them to a gradual stop mere inches from where he needed you most. He was panting like a dog at this point, chest rising and falling violently as he looked down at you, jaw slack and eyes cloudy with frustrated tears.

“You’ve been waiting for this, huh?” You dragged your tongue along your lower lip and leaned in close to his pulsating cock so that your breath fanned across his shaft, digging your fingers into the tendons of his inner thigh. He gasped, the shock of you finally gracing him with some sort of stimulation overwhelming his worked-up body, and a throb of pleasure shot through his dick with such alarming intensity that you could see it expand in his veins and swell at the tip. You blinked up at him, a bit startled yourself. He was so close already and you barely even touched him… Maybe you didn’t even need to touch him.

“U-Uhuh!” He nodded frantically, tears now spilling down his flushed face and drool dribbling down his chin; the sight would’ve been sad if it wasn’t so fucking hot. You massaged your fingertips into the thin, sweat-slicked skin on either side of his balls and slowly moved your lips upwards so that they were ghosting the hot, leaking head of his penis. His whole body shuddered underneath you, hips eagerly twitching to meet your lips, but only mildly, timidly, making it clear he was still completely under your control.

“I bet you’ve been imagining this for so long, my lips around your cock, feeling me squeeze you in my throat,” you hummed, your lips just barely brushing his dickhead as you spoke, and to him the vibration of your voice and the warm flutters of your breath against him felt just as sensational as the euphoric grip of your walls after hours of waiting for any kind of attention. This was exactly what you suspected, what you were hoping. He was such a desperate mess that he could get off to just your words and proximity. “Can you feel it? My pretty little mouth drooling around you?”

“A-Ah! Yes!” He cried out, and his stiff cock slapped against his belly eagerly as if he was truly feeling every bit of what you were describing, hell, even you were starting to feel it from his reactions alone, the ache between your legs growing almost painful.

“Does my sweet boy want to cum down my throat?” You kept steady eye contact with him, savoring every bit of watching him crumble before you, intentionally letting your breath pour past your lips in heavy pants, and he bucked into the air with each puff, his abdomen flexed tight and his thighs shuddering.

“Ahaha y-yes please!” He whimpered, the rhythm of his hips gently rising to meet your breath becoming twitchy and unstable, a clear sign that he was on the brink of long-awaited release. A coy smile played at the ends of your lips as you batted your lashed up at him.

“Then cum for me,” and on command, his whole body convulsed under the weight of sweet, sweet climax, at long last, the hugest load you’d ever seen erupting out of him in thick, hot torrents that sprayed right in his face. You were so proud of him, your poor baby, putting up with your little act for hours on end despite yearning for you so immensely that you didn’t even need to touch his cock for him to bust. He just loved you that much and why exactly? You quite honestly didn’t know. You almost felt the need to apologize for treating him so cruelly, but at the end of the day you were trying to teach him a lesson, and based on how he was looking at you, right eye squeezed shut to prevent cum from getting in his eye, body rattling with exhaustion, it was safe to say he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. The least you could do was help him clean up. You got up on your knees and took his clammy face in your hands, gliding your tongue along his salty skin to get rid of all the cum, saliva, tears- whatever fluids were coating his face. When you were done, you pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, my sweet boy.”

||

A/N:

HEYYY LOVELIESSS💓💓 here’s my first official completed request (woohoo)!!! Bertholdt is not usually a character I would accept writing but this request kinda had me GRRRR ya know (thank you for that anon, I truly hope you’ll enjoy this! This was my first time writing orgasm denial too so idk if i did it right NAKWKA)? BUTTT yeah here ya go, bloop ilyyyy

~Bunny