#the way she wasn't going post these pictures saying they look bad until I said something y'all should thank me smh

[fandomfucker]

Judgement Day x reader Where the reader is an absolute cuddle bug, but is afraid they might be too clingy. So Judgement Day assure them that they love how cuddly they are?

Word Count: 2,053

Reader's POV

Ever since I was a child, I was extremely touchy. I always felt the need to be not only emotionally close to all my friends and family but also physically close.

I would hug each of my friends at least twice a day, along with my teachers and parents and my usually unwilling siblings.

I was able to calm down a bit by the time I got to middle school, restraining myself from hugging just my family members and my friends who were used to it by now. High fives and wrapped arms around shoulders and waists became a norm for anyone interacting with me.

In high school, I had better learned to keep my hands to myself, only occasionally hugging my friends. But, my friend group was also a bunch of pretty touchy people so sitting next to each other with our legs touching, or laying down with our head in the lap of the other while they finger-brushed our hair was a norm for us within our friend group.

I had accepted long ago that my love language was touch but that it wasn't for everyone. One potential partner in high school even broke things off because of how touchy I am. They said it was suffocating and just 'way too much'.

Touchiness has never been an issue with my four wonderful partners now, though. Rhea, Dominik, Damian, and Finn all seemed to appreciate my touches and would even go out of their way to be closer to me sometimes.

And I love and appreciate them all for it.

My partners are all very aware of my need for touch. So, on days when I get home from work, both physically and mentally exhausted, they'll center me a a big group hug until I feel better.

When I wake up in the morning, Dominik smothers me in hugs and kisses, usually ending in hours-long cuddles until we're forced to move.

Damian often has me sit in his lap, no matter where we are. A party, backstage at a WWE show, or just hanging out in the living room of our house.

Whenever I had a particularly bad day Finn would shower me with affection, figuratively and literally. He would help me take a shower, giving me small kisses on my shoulders all the while, before giving my shoulders a massage in our bedroom.

Rhea was surprisingly the most touchy out of all my partners. She constantly had to have a hand on my waist, shoulder, arm, thigh, you name it she was touching it. She's very protective and always had to make sure that not only was she giving me what I needed, but also making sure everyone else knew I was hers as well.

The doubts didn't start until about six months into our five-way relationship when I had been at home on the couch scrolling through social media while the four of them were at Monday Night RAW.

My for you page had decided to randomly show me a video of someone who had compiled a bunch of videos and pictures of me with my partners. They had all zoomed in on my partners' faces whenever I specifically was touching them and not the other way around. The person who made the video was saying "Look at how uncomfortable the Judgment Day looks. Y/n needs to stop fucking touching them and leave them alone."

The video instilled a spark of fear in me as I read all the comments agreeing with the original poster and for the next three hours I went down a rabbit hole of TikTok videos through the search from the original video; "Y/n Y/l/n being clingy".

There were at least a hundred different TikTok videos talking about it, with tons of comments throughout. I found videos so long that they had to post them on YouTube in which what they said about me was even worse because guidelines are a bit more lax.

For those three hours until my partners got home, I watched all the mean videos, read all the mean comments, saw all the mean posts, tweets, edits, etc, and sobbed as I realized that my partners probably were just doing it all because I wanted to and that they actually just hated me.

A little after midnight I heard the garage door open and Rhea's truck as they pulled into the driveway. I threw my blanket off my lap and sprinted up the stairs to our master bath. I needed to make it look like I hadn't been crying the entire time so I threw myself into the shower, making the water as hot as possible.

3rd Person POV

The four members of the Judgment Day walked through the door, into the house doing their best to stay quiet as with all the lights off they figured their partner was probably already asleep.

Hearing a noise coming from the living room, Dominik curiously made his way towards the couch, beginning to move around blankets and pillows.

Y/n's phone fell out of a blanket and bounced onto the thick carpet floor, it's face glowing up at the ceiling as a TikTok video played on a loop.

Hearing the clunk from the phone hitting the floor, Dominik tossed the blanket he was holding back onto the couch before bending down to grab the phone.

Mention of The Judgment Day along with Y/n's name made Dominik pause, focusing on the video playing. 

"I mean, just look at their body language whenever Y/n touches them. They all always just look so uncomfortable."

Dominik watched in disbelief, as he beckoned the other Judgment Day members over to him. The group has always been pretty out about their relationship and some of them about their sexualities so haters were a norm but it was beginning to cross a line by hating their partner, who wasn't in the spotlight at all.

He beckoned the other three JD members over as the video began to play from the beginning again, holding the phone out for them all to watch.

They all watched the video in concern, Damian took the phone out of Dom's hands once it was over and began to backtrack, looking at what had previously been watched before that video.

There were several more videos about this particular topic at hand which the four of them scrolled through with growing disgust.

After several minutes of this, Rhea had a thought. "Where's Y/n?" She asked the group in a small panic.

They all looked at each other in concern before Rhea bolted up the stairs, yelling their partner's name, the boys quickly following suit.

Reader's POV

I was still in the shower about ten minutes after I had heard the garage door open and my partners come in when I began to hear Rhea screaming my name as four sets of footsteps thudded up the stairs, becoming louder as they got closer to the bathroom.

Banging soon began against the door as they all reached it. I heard each of my partners distressedly shouting my name, Rhea, however, being the loudest.

I turned the water off in a rush, wrapped my towel around myself, and got out of the shower. I fumbled with the lock, unlocking it before swinging the door open in a rush. I was met with the four panicky faces of my partners.

"What's going on, is everything okay?" I asked, genuinely confused.

Rhea rushed forward, pulling me into a tight hug. My face was squished into her chest (not that I'm complaining) and was squished even further when my other three partners came around to join the group hug.

"Guys?" I asked nervously, tilting my head up and resting my chin on Rhea's collarbone so that I could see all of their faces above me.

Finn spoke aloud for the group from my left, "Love, you left your phone open downstairs. We saw what you were looking at."

The blood would have drained from my face had it not all rushed there as the tears began to fall again.

I dropped my chin off of Rhea's chest and covered my face with my hands, the top of my head now resting against her chest instead. The four of them hugged me tighter in attempted comfort which only made me feel worse.

They hated me hugging them and just generally being all over them all the time and were now hugging me to make me feel better.

"I-I'm sorry. P-please don't be m-mad," I managed to get out through the massive sobs. I began trying to push away, out of the hug barricade they'd created around me but I wasn't able to turn around very well with how tight it was, and Rhea's way too strong to move when she doesn't want to be moved.

"We're not mad, Princesa," Damian spoke gently from behind me. That just made me cry even harder.

I was crying so hard that I was struggling to breathe. My four partners kept me close and I could feel someone stroking my hair before someone gripped my hips and turned my body to face them. 

I dropped my hands from my face to my partner's waist, realizing who it was.

Looking up, my wet, red-rimmed, eyes were met with Dominik's wide brown ones. "Hey, hey." He shushed me softly. "Those videos are fake, mi amore. Okay? We all love how touchy you are. We love your hugs and kisses and all your little touches. If we didn't we wouldn't reciprocate them."

My sobs turned to sniffles at his sweet words. He gave me a small smile as he brought a hand up to my cheek, wiping away any remaining tears from my face with his thumb. 

I closed my eyes in acceptance, another tear or two slipping out at the action which Dominik was quick to swipe away. "We mean it, Cariño," Damian spoke up again, now on my right. "We love you and your cuddliness," He reassured me, his lips kept close against my hair as he gently pried me away from Dominik and tucked me into him.

"Promise?" I questioned faintly. It was directed generally towards all four of them.

I felt Rhea's hands snake around my waist, gently swaying me towards her a bit, "We promise. We love you so much and nothing and nobody will ever change that." She gave my temple a lingering kiss, squeezing my waist before turning me towards Finn.

"Don't listen to those morons on social media, love. We're just constantly uncomfortable on camera, especially around you just because we're worried about you. There's a lot of people and a lot going on and it can get overwhelming so we're a bit on edge trying to protect ya'." He explained smoothly as he brushed a few stray hairs off of my forehead and back behind my ear.

With their protective natures, this explanation did make a lot of sense. I mean, one time Rhea actually almost fought a fan at the airport because of how close he was to me despite, me telling him to get away. I guess them being my own personal bodyguards would make them a bit tense.

"Come on, as much as I hate to say it, let's get some clothes on you and put you to bed," Rhea ordered, shoving the boys out of the way to lead me back into the bathroom. I giggled at her statement, flushing bright red as she winked at me before closing the door to the bathroom, leaving me alone again as I quickly dried off and threw on some of my partners' clothes I'd stolen.

Coming out of the bathroom I saw all four of my wonderful partners seated on the edges of our giant bed, waiting for me to get into the middle for cuddles.

I grinned and got a running start, jumping full force onto the bed. Dominik made an exaggerated 'oomph' sound as I landed, causing Damian to swat the back of his head.

Laughing at my partners' antics, I crawled under the covers before opening my arms, signaling that I was ready for the puppy pile of cuddles I was about to receive.

I made my own 'oomph' sound as Dominik flopped on top of my chest, grinning wickedly as he playfully glared at me before sticking his face into my neck.

With all four of my partners now lying on top of me or next to me to some degree, I'd never felt safer or more comfortable.

Drifting off to sleep I only had one more thought.

"I love you guys."

[auclairedetoru]

Hello!! Your aot fics are so adorable!! Especially that Eren one, I really loved it. Since you said you would expand on it in the future, I was wondering if you'd want to do something like they get into a fight or something? Maybe one of them gets too busy with work/classes and just ends up neglecting the other and it leads to some hurt but hey, they're soulmates. They find their way back. If not though, just some more college! Eren x best friend! Reader? I love it!!

This happened before they got together, a moment that made Eren realise he would rather chop an arm and a leg off than make his best friend upset again.

At the time, y/n had a falling out with her group of friends, a misunderstanding happened and one of them blamed her which made everyone else turn their backs on her and unfriend her.

Eren on the other hand was saving up money so he could spend the three months of summer break at a specific beach he wanted to surf at, so he was trying to balance long hours of school and work and whenever he had free time he was extremely tired and most likely sleeping. He didn't know what was going on with y/n, in fact, this was the longest they went without talking to each other. He's embarrassed to say this but he would've forgotten about her if it wasn't for the fact he was constantly getting notifications from her.

If he was honest, he did get annoyed, but he tried to ignore it all. She was bombarding him with calls and texts, asking him where he was and why he wasn't answering her. What he didn't know was that y/n was trying to seek comfort from the only person she knew wouldn't hurt her the way the people she used to call her friends did, and was panicking when he kept leaving her on read or delivered.

One evening, there was a frantic series of knocks on Eren's door which woke him up in a panic thinking something was wrong. He opened the door to find his best friend standing on the opposite side, a grin on her face, “Eren! I've been knocking for so long, why didn't you answer?”

He let out a shaky sigh when he realised nothing was wrong and let her in, “fuck, y/n... I thought something bad happened.”

“Probably has something to do with the fact you look like you haven't slept in a decade.” Y/n raised an eyebrow while taking off her shoes, “what's up with that ?”

She was trying her best to cover up the fact she was crying an hour ago. She stumbled across a picture that her ex best friend posted of all of her old friend group together with the caption that was clearly shady towards her. It made her have a full blown break down and she couldn't think about being with anyone after that other than her best friend.

Eren ignored what she said and tried to wipe the tiredness from his face. The day wasn't going well for him, he forgot to turn in his assignment, he messed up at work multiple times which made his boss scold him at the end of his shift, and many other things happened that ruined his day more and more. But he couldn't let her know, he didn't want to seem weak in front of her.

“Nothing, just... Long day.”

He sighed when she took a seat on his couch, he was hoping to finish his nap at least until dinnertime, but it seemed like she had other plans.

“Sooo, What have you been up to? other than ignoring my texts and calls.”

“You know I wouldn't ignore you on purpose, y/n.” he murmurs softly, a hint of frustration present in his tone.

She shrugs, arms folded tightly across her chest as though she was holding herself together. She thought after spending over an hour crying she would stop feeling so emotional, but clearly she thought wrong because a new wave of emotions hit her again. She can feel her throat tighten and the sting of tears pricking her eyes once more.

“I don't know, you've left me on read a lot for someone who's not doing it on purpose,” she mumbles and looks away from him, a slight tremble in her voice, “but why did I expect more, since that seems to be the treatment I'm getting from everyone.”

“alright listen,” The sudden shift in his tone made her head snap towards him, his voice was sharper now, she never heard him talk to her like that before, “I don't know what bullshit made you catch an attitude, but I'm not in the mood to tolerate it. You've got plenty of friends so go complain to them instead of bothering me, god!”

She watched him with wide eyes as he slumped back against the couch and threw an arm over his eyes followed by a long and frustrated sigh. She couldn't hold back anymore and silently let the tears go. She never expected such harsh words to come from Eren, someone who she trusted to never break her heart and hurt her She went to stand up, but he quickly put his other arm out to stop her,

“No, sit down, we have a lot of talking to do.”

“There's nothing else to say-” she tried to say while holding back her tears, but he cut her off.

“I need to apologise, so sit.”

She wiped the tears from her cheeks despite the fact she was still crying. He removed his arm from his face and sat up to face her. He could tell now that something happened that led to what she said, and he needed to get to the bottom of it, but he needed to address his actions first.

“I'm sorry I said that, I promise you I don't mean any word that came out of my mouth,” he gently took her hand in his, and she let him, too weak to fight him off, “I've just had a rough day, everything that could possibly go wrong did and it all pissed me off.”

She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but he lifted his free hand, stopping her gently. He held her gaze to make sure he had her full attention before he continued speaking.

“With that being said, I shouldn't have let it out on you and I am willing to apologise a million times to show how much I regret my actions.”

“No it's okay, once is enough,” her voice was strained as she tried to keep her emotions in control so she wouldn't burst out in sobs, "it's just-” she looked down at their interviewing hands and sniffed, “I've had a couple of bad days, so many things kept piling up and you weren't with me like usual,” her voice broke, unable to hold back anymore as the tears flew down, “I felt so alone.”

Eren's heart shattered at the sight of her breaking down and immediately wrapped his arms around her to pull her to his chest, “shh, it's okay, let it all out, I've got you now.”

He let her cry for as long as she needed, offering her comforting touches and words, and slipping an apology here and there because despite her telling him one was enough, he still felt very guilty over what he said and as she told him what happened with her friend group and all the horrible things she heard them say behind her back, his guilt grew so heavy it brought tears to his eyes.

His best friend, his sweet angel, his entire world, how could anyone think she would do anything to hurt others? One time she felt bad because she didn't turn on her TV for over a month and she didn't want it to feel useless, how would someone who thought that try to harm a close friend of hers? He felt so mad, so angry, how could he not? They hurt his most precious person.

He tried to comfort her in any way he could to make up for the days he wasn't there, and it seemed like being held and heard was all she wanted from him, so he did, the only time he separated from her was to pick up the food delivery. She ended up spending the night and fell asleep on his chest after venting her heart out to him.

As he held her sleeping body close to his, he started thinking about all their previous arguments, and how they always resolved them on the spot, never going to sleep mad at each other. That ended up being brought up in a conversation while he was out with friends and how he doesn't like making or seeing her upset because he could physically feel her pain, like he was the one hurting.

“damn bro, that's some soulmates shit,” Connie said before taking a huge bite of the fried chicken they were eating but kept his mouth open to cool it down while huffing "ah fuck, too hot" which made Eren laugh.

“he's right though,” Armin chimes in, a soft smile on his face, “remember when you got mad at each other and stormed off but ended up both going to the same spot? Or how you both caught the flu at the same time even though you were in two different cities? Or how she was out of town but knew something bad happened to you when you broke your leg? I don't think those are normal things that happen to everyone.”

Soulmates... Yeah, they're right. He couldn't describe them in any better way. They're meant for each other, whether they like it or not.

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Training Part 2

Prompt: Enemies to Lovers type. You and Gibbs never got along, and luckily you never really had to work with each other…until now.

Part 1

It was entirely too early in the morning when you walked through the NCIS squad room with Fornell in front of you.

"Woah. Rough night Agent L/N?" DiNozzo jabbed, instantly pressing all the wrong buttons. You decided to bite your tongue this time and ignore him before seeing an opportunity to get back at him. As he handed some papers to McGee, you swiftly stole his seat and leaned back in it exaggeratively, while sipping on your fresh cup of coffee.

"Ha ha Agent L/N. Now get out of my seat."

"Make me Agent DiNozzo." You stared him down as his colleagues and Fornell watched, wondering what was going to happen next. He chuckled to himself and turned around as Gibbs walked in.

"Gibbs. Tell her to get out of my seat," he practically whined, making you snicker.

"Daddy Gibbs isn't going to help you DiNozzo," you ridiculed, catching the eye of said Agent as he took a seat at his desk. Choosing to give up, DiNozzo went to sit on the edge of Agent Bishop's desk. She didn't look too thrilled about it but didn't say anything.

"So you two interrogated Ramos and got a name, right?" Fornell asked, bringing the conversation to work.

"He's not talking. As soon as we brought up our Petty Officer, he closed up tighter than a clam," McGee answered.

"Let me at him. I'll get him talking," you offered, causing DiNozzo to snort.

"Well if we need you to shoot him, you'll be the first to know," he quipped.

You were about to snap on him but Gibbs saved his ass again by inturrupting.

"Fine. Agent L/N, you're with me. Tobias, Abby will fill you in on evidence findings we collected from the crime scene."

You left DiNozzo's chair and waited as Gibbs grabbed his gun and badge from the desk drawer.

"What about us, boss?" DiNozzo bellyached.

"You keep doing what you were doing DiNozzo. We'll be back."

As you passed the tall Agent, you made sure to give him a small shoulder check, silently laughing to yourself as he made a face. Maybe working with NCIS wasn't so bad. It was definitely entertaining.

- - - -

The drive to the bar you knew Ramos to frequent was quiet as neither one of you had anything to say. You turned the radio on to a pop station but it was shut off by Gibbs, making you huff and send him a glare.

Both you and Gibbs walked into the musty smelling bar and you immediately spotted Ramos sitting at a booth, back to you, drinking a pint of beer.

"What is your plan?" Gibbs asked, stopping you.

"Too do the job that your agents failed to do."

He sighed in annoyance as you led the way, sliding in to take a seat right next to Ramos as Gibbs sat across from him. Before he had a chance to leave, you pulled out your badge and showed him discreetly.

"Hey Ramos. I'm with the FBI and I believe you already know Agent Gibbs."

"I don't know what you plan on asking me that you haven't already. I don't know anything, remember?" he spoke confidently while taking a sip of his drink.

You looked over at Gibbs who just sat there, stoic expression on his face. Scooting in closer to Ramos, you leaned in by his ear as he visibly became uncomfortable.

"Oh I haven't interrogated you yet Ramos. See, Gibbs and his lackeys do it all by the book. Bring you in, sit you down in a room and ask a bunch of questions, then let you go. I prefer the simpler way. You come to this bar every Friday around 5pm, after working at the gas station. You play in their little pool tournament every month, and even have your picture posted up on the wall as champion. No, I'm not going to interrogate you. I'm gonna ask one question and if you cant answer said question, I'm gonna let everyone in this bar know that you're an official informant for the FBI. I could probably bet that there are a few questionable individuals here that would hate to hear that information, don't you think?"

A couple second went by as you waited for him to break. He licked his lips nervously, confidence now completely gone and his eyes looked to Gibbs who just shrugged.

"She doesn't work for me. I can't tell her what to do."

Another few seconds went by and you moved to stand up, but Ramos' hand shot out to stop you.

"Alright, alright. What do you want to know?"

You smirked and gave Agent Gibbs an arrogant wink.

"Tell me everything you know about the death of Petty Officer Killbourne. And please, the more details the better."

- - - -

Once you left the bar and got into the car, Gibbs laid into you.

"That's not the way you should've handled it in there."

"Oh yeah? Because your way was getting us soo far."

"We don't threaten people for answers Agent L/N. You can't be so negligent."

If he thought that was being negligent, he was delusional. You didn't do anything wrong and you actually got a lead on your case, something Gibbs couldn't say the same for himself.

"Negligent?! First of all Gibbs, it wasn't a threat. Second of all, my "negligence" got us a very important lead that will now help us continue our investigation and bring down this asshole. You might not like the way I do things but you're just gonna have to suck it up because I'm here until this is done."

He didn't reply back, but just started the car and drove back to the Navy Yard, you practically jumping out of the car once he parked. In the squad room, you didn't bother waiting for him before debriefing the team on your findings and talking with Fornell about arranging a sting operation. The rest of the day, you stayed as far from the silver haired agent as you could, only giving him one worded answers, if any, when he asked you a question.

He seemed to have the same mindset, acting as if you weren't there, never looking you in the eye, just in your direction. The entire team, including Fornell were uneasy but you weren't backing down.

It wasn't until you found out that Gibbs had his team follow a lead without looping you in that you lost it. The next time you saw him, he was getting into the elevator and you made damn sure to get there before it closed.

He visibly made a face of annoyance once you joined him and the doors shut behind you.

"Why wasn't I or Fornell informed about your team finding another lead?"

"I told Fornell," he answered presumptuously, not looking at you.

"Yeah, after you had McGee and Torres meet with our suspects dealers. Listen, if this is some pissing match to you-

He leaned over, flicking the emergency stop switch, causing the elevator to abruptly stop and closed in on you.

"This is about a dead Marine, Agent L/N. I'm not here to impress anyone, especially the FBI. If you want in on our investigation and leads, than start acting like a Federal Agent and less like an immature probie."

As he had you cornered, you finally saw the look that everyone talked about. The stare that could get even the hardest of criminals spilling the beans. But in that moment, you weren't scared. No, you were turned on.

You glanced away from his burning blue eyes to his lips and back to his eyes.

"And stop doing that," he warned.

"Doing what?"

He took a step closer, successfully trapping you against the wall and leaned in to growl in your ear.

"You know what you're doing Agent. I could feel how needy you were for me in the training room just like how I can feel it now. Do you do this with every agency you work with?"

Your breath got caught in your throat at his words and couldn't help but egg it on. You looked up at him as you let your fingers trail along his beltline, dangerously close to where you really wanted to touch.

"No, just you, funny enough," you whispered.

He reached up and gently grabbed your chin, brushing his thumb across your slightly open bottom lip. Your heart was racing as the tension continued to build.

"This is completely unprofessional," he stated, making you smirk.

"Than do something about it, Agent Gibbs."

He leaned in closer as if to kiss you but stopped and dropped his hand, backing off and flipping the emergency switch back on. You stood up straighter and took a breath, trying not to look like you weren't about to just get fucked in the elevator as Gibbs shifted his stance.

It did nothing to hide the obvious bulge in his pants and you smiled to yourself. Once the elevator doors opened to the Lab floor, you watched as he made a hard left turn for the bathroom as you continued on to Abby.

"Hey Gibbs- Oh, you're not Gibbs," she said, surprised.

"No, but he's right behind me. A little too much coffee I think," you hinted, making her smile.

"Yeah, that makes sense. Well, until he joins us, I'll just go over the new information I gathered about the murder weapon."

You listened to Abby talk and Gibbs joined a few minutes later, standing a bit closer to you than usual.

[vivwritesfics]

Fake It Till You Make It

Chapter Seven - The Party Princess... Buys A Car?

The Princess of Monaco is wild and out of control. She needs to stop being in the tabloids for all the wrong reasons. Charles Leclerc has had a spot of bad press since his very public break up. He needs some good PR. What better way to fix their problems than to pair them up?

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Series Masterlist

The Party Princess... Buys A Car?

The Party Princess is back in Monaco, but it appears as though she has cleaned up her act. The Monaco Press has tried to keep up with her movements, but, truthfully, there hasn't been much to keep up with.

It appears as though she and Formula One driver Charles Leclerc have cleaned each other up for the better.

We are all aware of the princess's history with cars. It was assumed by many in Monaco that the royal family had put her on a ban after she'd crashed her 1963 Volkswagen Beetle.

That's why it came as a shock to us to see the Princess out, shopping for a new car. She was documented visiting Mercedes and Audi dealerships, but didn't appear to be having any luck.

The Princess took to social media to post about the purchase of a new car. It was no surprise that she went for another classic, a 1976 Lancia Scorpion, another movie car to add to her collection.

Charles Leclerc has not yet been seen acknowledging the Princess's new car. We wonder how long it will be until he finally gets her her first Ferrari.

"Cha, I did a thing."

It was a race weekend, one she couldn't attend. But she was still watching from the television in the apartment that she'd started to clean (and she was making progress, too. From the moment they'd gotten back from their little holiday, she began cleaning her apartment. Started with this dishes in the sink and made her way around the room).

"What did you do?" He asked, voice amused.

She practically squealed as she answered. "I bought a Lancia!"

There was a moment where Charles didn't answer, and the smile dropped from her face. "Charles," she said. "Answer me, I beg."

A breathy sort of laugh left his lips. "Chérie," he muttered, voice quiet, kind, and caring. "They rot."

"Shut up," she mumbled. He didn't know that she was currently sat in her Lancia, in the garage beneath her apartment building. "I can pay for someone to look after her for me." She leaned forward against the steering wheel, unable to stop herself from smiling. "I've given her a name.

"What's she called?" Asked Charles.

"Giselle?"

He repeated the name back to her. "Why Giselle?"

She leaned back in her seat. "It's from a movie," she answered and climbed out. "I can't wait for you to meet her."

Charles had to go not long after that. He asked for pictures of Giselle, ones he promised to look at after the race. She stayed sitting in her lovely new car for just a few moments longer, taking a moment to bask in her new purchase. This one she'd take care of, just like she'd tried to do with the rest of her cars. But, this time, she'd do it.

She started her up. Giselle rumbled to life and she drove her out of parking garage.

It wasn't unusual to see odd and extravagant cars around Monaco. But Giselle was something else. She drove around the streets, sunglasses covering her eyes. Cameras were on her, but, for the first time, she didn't much care.

She drove Giselle to the palace. It was a right job getting let in, her car not yet on the list. When she drove up the drive, a member of staff pulled open for door. She tossed him the keys. "Take good care of her," she said and ran up the steps.

It was easy to find Henri, hidden away in his office with his head in his hands. "Hen," she said and sat in the empty seat opposite him. "I think I did it, I think I finally cleaned up my act."

"Great," Henri said with little enthusiasm.

She grabbed her phone from her pocket, pulled up a picture of Giselle and placed it in front of her brother. "She's gorgeous, isn't she?" She began. "Charles says she rots, but I'm gonna take care of her."

Henri released a sigh. "Where the hell did you disappear to last week?" He asked suddenly. "Do you know who has to deal with everything when you disappear? Me! I have to do it. I have so many better things I could be doing with my time!"

"Jeez, Hen. I just got away for a little while. It's not that big a deal," she mumbled and checked her nails. "Besides, it not like you need me for anything."

And, suddenly, Henri was crying. His face was hidden in his hands, but his sobs were undeniable. "Fucking hell, Henri. I was with Charles. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Shut up," he spat between sobs. "You're a spoilt child and you haven't got a clue what's going on."

It was nothing Henri hadn't said to her before, but he'd never said it with such emotion before.

"You have no idea what the real world is like. Our family is already sick of dealing with you, so they dumped you on me. And, guess what, kid? I'm sick of you too!"

Tears sprang to her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. Clearing her throat she stood up. "I know, Henri. I know you're sick of me, you didn't need to tell me."

She stood and strode out of his office. Henri didn't call her back, didn't make any attempt to apologise. Fine, she didn't need her brother. Climbing into Giselle she held her phone to her ear. "C'mon," she mumbled, beginning her drive back to her apartment.

When had Charles become the person she tried to seek comfort from?

She didn't know that Charles had a bad race, didn't know that he was in no mood. He picked up the phone though, if only to tell her just that.

"Charlie," she began, but she didn't get a chance to say much else.

"I can't talk right now," he said quickly, voice low.

But she didn't much care, she needed him. "Charles, please."

But he couldn't hear the sadness in her voice, not past his own anger and annoyance. "Why are you being so needy?" He spat. "I can't fucking talk right now."

She ended the call and threw her phone onto the passenger seat. Pulling over, she buried her face in her hands and cried. Tears ran down her cheeks and she sobbed until her chest hurt.

This day couldn't get any worse, she decided as she drove back to her apartment. She didn't want to speak to anybody. Not Henri, not Charles, not her friends. Nobody.

The news of her father's sickness broke that afternoon.

lol i thought we'd be wrapping up with this story but i guess not lmao also, giselle for reference below

Permanent Taglist (CLOSED) @biancathecool

@rewmuslupin

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Taglist (OPEN): @charizznorizz

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[pookietv]

am i cool yet? | george clarke

thank you for all the love on my first post, appreciate it massively!!

have a little george clarke x singer because i love the thought of that loser (affectionate) with a very cool girl

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 7,390 others

arthurnfhill: guess who is going back on artour!! (please come and don't let the tour flop)

georgeclarkeey: it would be quite funny if it flopped though

↳ arthurnfhill: so funny i am laughing so hard rn

user1: cannot waiiiiiit when do tickets drop!!!

↳ arthurnfhill: 10am next friday!

yourusername: hm that sounds cringe. wonder who will even bother showing up to that stinker.

↳ arthurnfhill: literally so cringe, wait until you hear about the support act, they suck so much, gonna be the worst show ever

↳ yourusername: i don't doubt it x

liked by arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey and 3,904 others. tagged @/arthurnfhill

yourusername: good news, i am going on tour! bad news, it's with @/arthurnfhill (but on a serious note, tickets go on sale 10am friday, so if you wanna come by and hear us sing some little tunes please do!)

georgeclarkeey: jeez he said he had a stinker support act but i didn't know it was this bad (but of course i am kidding and you guys will smash it)

↳ yourusername: @/arthurnfhill is this the irrelevant flatmate you were telling me about??

↳ arthurnfhill: unfortunately, yes

↳ georgeclarkeey: @/yourusername ah, so my reputation proceeds me

liked by yourusername and 1,293 more tagged @/yourusername and @/arthurnfhill

arthurhillupdates: pictures that y/n put on her story from the first show of the tour tonight!!

userone: omg can't believe i missed the ticket drop, these two performing together ???

usertwo: they are literally both so hot i can't

userthree: i would kill to be backstage ngl

liked by georgeclarkeey, yourusername and 6,830 more tagged @/yourusername

arthurnfhill: artour night one in newcastle was very cool! a little disappointed that y/n looks cooler then me on stage but i will have to live with it

georgeclarkeey: to be fair i don't know what you were expecting, you don't look very cool anyway

↳ arthurnfhill: you can't be mean about things that are true

yourusername: if you need any stage coaching lmk

↳ arthurnfhill: rubbing a lot of salt into a fresh wound

↳ georgeclarkeey: @/yourusername i'd keep rubbing it if i were you

↳ yourusername: @/georgeclarkeey is that what you usually say to women?

↳ userone: she ate him up lmaooooo

arthurtv: can't wait for the london show so i can pester you live

↳ yourusername: couldn't have said it better myself, can't wait to pester you too

liked by arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey and 3,473 more

yourusername: half way through the (ar)tour, thank you for all the support so far!! (+plus a little throwback from when i was just a girl making silly youtube covers)

bambinobecky: to say you look hot is an understatement

↳ yourusername: you're gonna make me blush x

arthurnfhill: wow that photo is great wonder who you pestered until they took the photo

↳ yourusername: got absolutely no clue, some random guy with a pedostache took it for me backstage

↳ arthurnfhill: crying in the mens bathrooms rn

↳ yourusername: you're getting awfully upset about the photo credits

↳ arthurnfhill: want to be able to put 'y/n's photographer' on my cv thats all

↳ yourusername: would be the only thing on there to be fair

gkbarry: jesus you're gorgeous, where's arthur been hiding you?

↳ yourusername: in the basement, says he's too famous to be my friend anymore :,(

arthurtv: don't tell him i told you but clarkey said you looked pretty in this photo

↳ yourusername: clarkey being too scared to comment on a girls instagram seems on brand to be honest

↳ georgeclarkeey: arthur you're a snitch and y/n you're mean

↳ yourusername: @/georgeclarkeey maybe but i wasn't wrong

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill and 3,928 others

yourusername: london, you were amazing! the best night to end tour on, thank you all so much for coming to artour and supporting

arthurnfhill: thank you for supporting (even if you were very annoying)

↳ yourusername: is this seriously what you were typing when you were at the bar ??

↳ georgeclarkeey: can confirm, i saw him typing it

↳ user1: omg they're together?? clarkey and y/n meetup !!!

georgeclarkeey: was a very cool show, shame arthur had to come on and ruin it

↳ yourusername: for real, the audacity of this man to play at his own tour, smh

↳ georgeclarkeey: i couldn't agree more, should have just been the y/n show

liked by arthurtv, georgeclarkeey and 3,483 more tagged @/georgeclarkeey

yourusername: don't let george take you for a walk in london, he takes it as photoshoot opportunities and makes you take a million of him (proof referenced above)

arthurnfhill: you spend time with him once and complain, this is what i deal with all the time

↳ yourusername: i have never pitied you more

georgeclarkeey: who is that good looking man??

↳ yourusername: think you're mixed up, @/arthurtv isn't in this picture x

↳ georgeclarkeey: now thats just cruel, especially after i paid for dinner

↳ yourusername: poor you :(

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill and 4,192 others

yourusername: i forced the boys to take me to the local pub just to get aquainted

arthurnfhill: we will never let you have sambuca shots again, you just became mean

↳ georgeclarkeey: she actually became nicer to me the more drunk she got

↳ yourusername: @/georgeclarkeey that's just because i was relying on you to look after me x

arthurtv: you are abnormally shit at pool

↳ yourusername: hey you weren't much better, hill carried you so badly

↳ arthurtv: says you who teamed up with george just to make him help you with all your turns

↳ yourusername: don't hate the player hate the game, not my fault george felt like being nice to me

↳ arthurtv: wonder why he's so nice to you

liked by arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey and 5,289 more

yourusername: why not to leave men alone with your phone, a thread

georgeclarkeey: you have done us a little dirty with these photos

↳ yourusername: shouldn't have taken them on my phone then

↳ georgeclarkeey: don't lie you love it

chrismd10: third one is going in the wank bank

↳ yourusername: wish i could say the same

↳ georgeclarkeey: am i not wank bank worthy?

↳ yourusername: really think about what your life has come to commenting this on instagram

liked by yourusername, arthurnfhill and 7,839 others

georgeclarkeey: she tried to teach me how to play, am i cool yet?

yourusername: i think i speak for all of us when i say no x

↳ georgeclarkeey: at least i tried

↳ yourusername: tried being the operative word

arthurnfhill: can confirm, sounded like a cat dying

↳ georgeclarkeey: okay fine, you can stick to being my rockstar boyfriend

↳ arthurnfhill: okay pookie

maxbalegde: he came into the office and swore down he was a top ten artist

↳ yourusername: i mean if top ten is top ten worst he might actually be right x

liked by georgeclarkeey and 8,380 others

yourusername: my boyfriend is not very cool but he is hot and i love him all the same (turns out he has a thing for super cool awesome rock girls)

georgeclarkeey: i am not sure how to feel about this, you both violated me and complimented me

↳ yourusername: feel grateful i complimented you, was just going to violate you originally x

↳ georgeclarkeey: well when you put it that way, gosh i'm just so lucky

arthurnfhill: nice of george to wear a hat that labels all of his skills so quickly and easily

chrismd10: honestly thought world war three would come before george got a girlfriend

↳ yourusername: you and me both (he's holding me captive please help)

liked by yourusername, arthurtv and 8,296 more

georgeclarkeey: if i get a cool girlfriend, does that make me cool by proximity?

arthurtv: no

arthurfnhill: she is barely cool let alone you

chrismd10: in no universe are you cool

yourusername: good try george, but no x

↳ georgeclarkeey: i'll try again with my next girlfriend then x

↳ yourusername: took you this long to get one girlfriend i don't think that will be anytime soon x

↳ georgeclarkeey: kidding, i am not letting you leave (you are the only one who can tolerate me)

hope you enjoyed !! :)

[itsnotgray]

twins | mark estapa

…be nice. this is the first time i’m posting a fic.

thanks for the giving me the kick to write this @hischierhaze

and @thatintrovertedwriter here’s part one!

part two will come in a bit

now goodbye while i panic over peoples reactions

in which you and mark are two hotheads

it wasn’t like people didn’t know mark. he infamously had led the big10 in penalty minutes, was a good player to go along with said stat, and was incredibly easy on the eyes.

but it wasn't that people didn’t know you, either. “y/n” or rather “sunshine” as you were more commonly called, was a bit of a household name on campus. the irony in the name? you were anything but. known for not only leading the michigan women’s soccer team in yellow and red cards, but also the big10.

so safe to say, both of you were fairly known, and for quite similar reasons. yet, no one seemed to see your relationship coming.

you guys first met at a party during welcome week. the party wasn't exclusive, per say, but it was safe to say the majority of the crowd was athletes, looking for a safe place to party, ensuring no pictures would make their way back to their respective coaches.

you had been stumbling around the kitchen, drunkenly searching for the cooler your teammate had said she had hidden in the maze-like kitchen of whatever frat house you were in. but as you turned around, ready to settle for the bud light in the living room, you spotted your bottle of vodka in the grasp of a blonde boy.

and while this wouldn’t have pissed you off normally, the bottle had “property of sunshine” boldly printed on it in sharpie, so safe to say, you were a little more than pissed.

“who the fuck do you think you are?” you screamed, shoving your finger into his chest.“woah uh-” the blonde boy tried to get out, but you kept going. “drinking someone else's bottle of alcohol?! i mean i’d get it if it didn't have a name on it, but it quite literally says “property of sunshine” but apparently you just can’t fucking read, can you?”

the boy was silent for a moment, until he laughed. “you're- you’re sunshine? isn’t that ironic.”

“ha, ha. kind of like that’s the fucking point, dumbass,” and as his mouth drops from your comment, you take the opportunity to swipe the vodka bottle from his hands. “i’d say thanks for finding my vodka, but seeing as i found you drinking it, to that i say, fuck you,” and you staggered away, lifting the bottle to your lips, the boy staring longingly after you.

mark was completely and utterly fucked, to the point where it took him a moment to realize… he didn’t even get your name.

~ the morning after

now the day after the party, you weren’t doing too hot. safe to say, you definitely should’ve let the blonde boy keep your vodka.

as shitty as you felt, by the grace of everything holy, you managed to muster up enough strength to walk to the cafe, seeking a cure to the pounding headache and extreme nausea you were nursing after your bad decisions the night prior.

however, someone you didn’t expect to see in your place of solace? the blonde boy you had screamed at the night before, tucked into the corner booth of the cafe, seemingly in a state similar to yourself.

in a split second decision, you decided to apologize for your behavior the night before, regretting (only slightly, but regret nonetheless) how you had drunkenly handled the situation.

you quickly made your way to the bar to order. “can I get a venti iced caffe mocha, and a croissant?” and then shyly added on, “and another of whatever the blonde boy in the corner is having, please.”

“trying to shoot your shot?,” the barista asked teasingly. “trying to apologize,” you muttered back, backing up to wait for your order.

once they called your name, you quickly grabbed your order. you took a deep breath, turned around, and cautiously made your way to the boy.

once you got within a foot of his table, you accidentally made eye contact with him, before holding the drink out, and quietly saying, “here… this is for you.”

he apprehensively took the drink in his hands, but before taking a sip, he spun the drink, glancing at the name on the order. “just trying to make sure it doesn’t have your name on it y/n, wouldn’t want you to scream at me again,” he let out, words laced with an emotion impossible to detect.

“that’s actually what I came over here for. I wanted to apologize for acting like that. normally if that happened, i’d just move on with my night. it just pissed me off that someone decided to take the bottle, even though I had written “property of sunshine” on it,” you said, quickly word-vomiting your thoughts out.

“I get it, I shouldn't have taken alcohol that was clearly hidden. i promise to look before drinking next time, sunshine,” he stated with a matching teasing grin and tone.

“I know it’s probably a little late for introductions, but you wouldn’t mind telling me your name, seeing as you know mine,” you questioned. “mark, mark estapa,” he responded with a grin, teasing tone now absent, replaced with what you hoped to be a more genuine tone.

and with that simple utterance, you knew you were fucking screwed.

~ weeks later

in the weeks following your conversation with mark in the cafe, you got impossibly close. if you guys weren’t hanging out on “study not-date-dates”, or having movie nights cooped up in your room, you were constantly texting, constantly talking to one another. yet, you guys never spoke about the obvious feelings the two of you had for one another, both too nervous to actually broach the subject.

until after your first game of the season.

more specifically, it was on the way back from the first game of the season. a game in which, despite the team coming out on top, and you also managing to bag a goal, you also picked up your first yellow card of the season. a teammate had even declared as much, belting out a “sunshine is back in business everybody!” as the team left the field.

unknowingly, the social media admin had clipped the moment, even including a glimpse of your cocky, but tired grin.

mark was now a little confused. of course he knew you were on the soccer team. in fact, it was one of the first things he learned about you. but the fact that the team was where the nickname “sunshine” came from? now that- that was new.

he quickly shot you a text, waiting eagerly for a response.

miles away, your phone dinged with a text tone specifically reserved for your favorite blonde haired boy. at the sound, you quickly darted for your phone.

“sunshine’s lover booooy is texting her” a teammate teased, reaching over to ruffle your hair affectionately.

you groaned at the action, before opening mark’s text

“i never asked, but why do they call you sunshine?”

and at that, you froze, instantly hit with the brutal words of a past boyfriend, “you do realize how fucking unattractive that is, right? losing your shit like that isn’t as cool as you think- it just tells people that you have serious issues, you fucking psycho.”

while you almost considered lying for a moment, you knew the truth would be better in the long run.

“last season, i led both the team, and the big10 in yellow and red cards. because of that, they thought giving me a nickname completely opposite of my attitude on the field was the funniest shit ever. it doesn't help that my personality off the field isn't too different from me on it- only true difference is that im a hell of a lot less aggressive.”

and quickly followed it up with a message reading, “I'm sorry if you don’t want to associate with me anymore. I know losing your temper constantly isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, but I can't control it. I’ll leave you alone, if that’s how you end up feeling,” before shutting off your phone, prepared to lose the boy who had managed to weasel his way into your heart the past few weeks.

mark froze for a second. there’s no fucking way the universe led him to someone exactly like him. what was it that one tiktok ethan had sent him said- twinflames? there was no fucking way.

except there was. because she was on the other side of the phone, probably freshly showered after her game (which he had seen they had won 3-0), with her hair cutely braided to the side, like she often did during their movie nights.

once he came out of his daze, he glanced down at his phone again, seeing her most recent text- “I'm sorry if you don’t want to associate with me anymore. I know losing your temper constantly isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, but I can't control it. I’ll leave you alone.”

and he panicked, quickly hitting facetime.

you glanced down at your ringing phone, seemingly in disbelief, and a little scared, at hearing the custom tone.

“I THINK YOU'RE PERFECT! you losing your shit doesn't matter to me- in fact, im the same damn way. I dont know who the hell had the audacity to shame you for your attitude while playing, but fuck them. they do not matter. they're not the ones that play the game, so they don’t have a say in how you play. you are the most kind-hearted person i know, and your heart is one of the reasons i love you. if your in-game attitude really is that big of a problem-”

and then mark froze, seeing your stunned expression. “what’s wrong baby?” noticing the nickname slip, but not drawing attention to it.

“I-i, you- i- i love you too.”

“what?”

“you said you love me, and i love you too, unless you didn’t mean i them i totally didn't eit-”

“NO- i love you baby. I’d honestly go as far as to say I've loved you since I met you. something about your fiery attitude immediately had me hooked, and as i’ve gotten to know you, i've become downright infatuated.”

both of you were now grinning at each other ear to ear, a blush rising quickly to the both of your faces.

“wanna go on a date tomorrow?” you both blurted out at the same time. “let me plan it baby, promise i’ll impress you.” “okay- its a date.”

and if mark immediately texted ethan for date ideas after you hung up the call a few minutes later- well you didn’t need to know that.

[aniesvision]

𝟏𝟐- 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕

𓅷 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝚡 𝚏! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗����𝚜: 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒄, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒉𝒆𝒚! 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒃 𝒃𝒄 𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 ☹︎ 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 ☕︎

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝑴𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒃𝒇

-Girl, he was way too toxic, you deserve so much better.

I sigh, adjusting my skirt as I try not to overthink the topic.

-Yeah, I know, but... -I try to argue, but Nick's fast to shush me.

-No, he's an idiot and you're a hottie, it doesn't even make sense for you to be with him.

I smile, turning around to look at him.

-Yeah, you're right, fuck him.

🍂

We walked down the street to the back door of the theater where our friend was going to perform. We've been planning to hang out for such a long time, but she's so busy with her tour, Nick's schedule doesn't help either, so we decided the best we could do was put it all together and help everyone out. We're now waiting in the waiting room backstage after telling our names to the guard who checked the list twice to be sure we were the right ones.

Nick's been vlogging all the way, letting everyone know our struggle to find an Uber to the theater due to how many rides people were calling just to get here. In the meantime, I took some pictures and also posted a few things, but kept it casual as I didn't want to get attention from one specific person. Well, I did, but I wanted him to see that I was over him, so I was hoping he wouldn't say anything just yet about me going out when I said I wouldn't. It's not like I care anymore about anything he says, or like he can dictate what I do or not, we're completely over now whether he likes it or not. But it's not a bad thing wanting him to see that I was having fun without him, is it?

Tonight is about friendship and good vibes. I didn't want to bring anyone down by talking about my now ex or to think about how much of an idiot I was to let him do whatever and mess with my mind that much. I'm glad I have the best friends in the world with me to support me through this hard time.

I'm also here to support Madison on her tour, which is such a big step and an amazing thing for her, I couldn't be happier to be here and I just wish her the best.

Nick and I were guided by guards to the front line, in the area between the stage and the rail, and we waited until Madison showed up for a minute for us to talk before her show. She didn't have much time so we basically just hug and share a few compliments before she's back to the dressing room.

People start to fill the place, running to get a nice spot, a few girls talking to us. The show starts and I laugh at how loud people yelled when Madison got on stage. She starts singing and I let myself enjoy it.

It was so fun to be there, the energy was unreal, and her fans were so sweet, even when people wanted pictures or just to acknowledge they knew me or Nick, they were patient and lovely, and for the most part, no one said anything even when they wanted to because they wanted us to also enjoy the show.

When a familiar beat starts to play, Nick immediately looks at me.

-Girl, this one's definitely for you.

I roll my eyes with a smile, picking up my phone to record a bit of this moment. Obviously, I couldn't let it slide, he was right, it was just what I needed right now and it was for me. Not especially for me, of course, but it just matches the vibe.

Madison begins to sing the lyrics to Boyshit and I sing along, feeling a lot more confident with my feelings in this scenario. Of course, my breakup wasn't public, and my relationship wasn't something I posted a lot, I knew it wasn't healthy but I was trapped and blind. So, in some sort of way, I needed to be careful and not let it show that I was actually being serious about the lyrics.

I film myself singing to the chorus, Nick making his appearance by flipping the camera off behind me and I turn the camera with a laugh, showing a bit of Madison's performance before putting my phone down and singing the rest of it with Nick.

-I hope you follow Madison's steps and stop speaking boyshit. -He says, pointing at my face and making me laugh.

-Oh, trust me, I won't ever speak boyshit again. -I assure him, shaking my head in denial.

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 ✍︎

➪ @riowritesitall @mattsfavbigtitties @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @flow3rsturns13 @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @faithlia @katie-tibo @sturnioloblues @monroesturnns @mattnchrisworld @shaquilles-0atmeal @fratbrochrisgf @dayzeandhaze @sharkcat1928 @phimstarz @h3arts4harry @s1ut4chris @star-yawnznn @asherrisrandom @pip4444chris @jupiter1700 @sturniolo-fann @beansprout713 @conspiracy-ash @sophsturns

[gigidragonbbxxx]

working with limits, a story

disclaimer: we are limitless. anything can be achieved with the power of the mind. this is to help people who overthink.

if a limit of yours shows up somewhere along the journey of manifesting a certain goal:

acknowledge it. do not repress. use it to pivot into your new story.

eg. I used think ____, but I know that's not true anymore. I am now ____.

my own story

my desired body is typically obtained in the gym with years of hard work and a dedicated focus on nutrition. I'm currently in grad school so I don't have time to workout like an IG influencer but I want to look like one.

Ordinary people would WEEP and stay in the same story of "its not obtainable!" while master manifesters smirk and say "LOL, ITS MY BODY NOWWWW"

I know that waking up with your perfect body is 100% POSSIBLE. Overnight subs/aff tapes + living in the end state + saturation to the max = fast asf results

so why wasn't I achieving it?

why was I manifesting money, attention, material things, etc. but for some reason my body was not changing?

I was meditating and doing some inner work when I realized that I had a serious weird rooted limited belief that

I had bad genetics and every woman in my family (both sides) have never achieved a flat tummy or a super toned body. So I was unconsciously always affirming that I could "never" look like that.

I thought great bodies could ONLY be achieved with hard work - which we know is soooooo untrue!

Instead of forcing myself to do a method I realized - I could work with my limit.

I was never truly "athletic" but I did run cross country/track in high school for 3 years. I fell off once I went to college and mostly did weird sporadic workouts but was never consistent.

Now that I've discovered the law and am freed from my old way of thinking, I said - okay let me play a little psychology game with myself, a little placebo.

my new placebo has been:

No matter what workout I do, the moment I step into the gym, I am losing my belly fat and getting super fast results every day.

Why do you do this Gigi instead of just sitting at home and affirming for your body?

Because I realized it would be easier for me to stay saturated/in the wish fulfilled/end state of having my perfect body just by physically forcing myself to be in a gym.

Let me clarify: I mostly walk on the treadmill, lift very very light weights, minimal sets, etc.

aka: most people would say I'm not doing enough.

But I'm a master manifester so I know that just deciding is enough.

I realized it was easier to visualize people saying "Wow she changed her body, it's because she goes to the gym now! She must've done a lot of work cause she got those results fast!" instead of "Wow she changed her body, idk how!"

Ever since I started going consistently and doing very bare minimum workouts - my body has changed way more drastically than normal limits allow.

I basically look like I've been working out for 6 months versus just the 2 I've actually been going.

My personal goal was fast results but gradual. If you want instant, please be my guest I am not limiting, I'm just sharing what worked for me.

I robotically affirm that lil placebo and it's changed my entire approach to manifesting.

I will see if I can post pictures of myself that will ensure privacy. Until then, just my words and encouragement.

Let me finish this lil post by saying: you do not need to do what I do. You can go ahead and do everything instantly. Everyone is different. I'm just sharing what worked for me, what helped me ease into being firm with what I wanted the 3D to reflect to me.

xx, gigi

[majaloveschris]

Why nothing makes sense part 6.

Ghosted premiere edition 👻

When I woke up and read people talking about her being there, I definitely expected something much worse than it actually was. Don't misunderstand me; I obviously wasn't happy she was there, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be if she were there.

As always, there are things that just don't make any sense to me.

In the past few weeks, we've received no articles about them; the article about Chris didn't include her. However, on the day of the premiere, ET included pictures of the Valentine's Day video, and the Daily Mail also included her. It was like a reminder that, hey, he is supposed to be in a really loving and committed relationship with this Alba girl, remember? He was spotted alone, and we hadn't received any new content since Valentine's Day. The cheating rumor was also posted. I understand why many people think we are getting to the end of this shitshow, because it felt like it.

What's up with Tara and her family? So Tara and her family were in NYC yesterday, on the same day of the premiere, and Gully even met them before the event. Why wasn't she or they at the premiere? The fact that they were there on the same day and even met Gully would be too many coincidences if she or they weren't supposed to be there. But if both Tara and Alba's appearances were planned, then she couldn't have been the reason why she didn't go to the premiere? And they had time for it because, as it turned out, they went to the Broadway Museum before the premiere started. Or was she there? Because I know some people say she was, without any evidence, of course, but if she was there, why didn't we see her? And why wouldn't she arrive with Chris and Alba?

So the one and only time we say Alba was when they got out of the car with Chris, and then when we saw her going in with two people, who are supposedly Chris's friends or whatever. Where was everybody else? Tara was in town. Scott, Steve, Lisa, Shanna, or Carly? Where was everybody? They would've been better company for her, especially since they all adore her. Chris gave something to her; it wasn't his phone, that's for sure. They looked like some kind of tickets, I guess; maybe she got Tara's 😂 People also say they kissed in cars, but there is no evidence of that, and there is no way somebody can tell that from that video. I thought that if she were there, she would walk down the red carpet with him, which didn't happen. I'm not complaining, and I don't believe he was either. But what was the point of her being there? Why wasn't she on the red carpet with him, like his family members and friends usually are? I remember the Lightyear premiere, and I remember seeing Steve on the red carpet, behind Chris, while he was giving an interview. Why wasn't she there too? And please don't say that because of "backlash" or because "they didn't want to get bullied", because I have an easy solution for that: don't bring her to the premiere. He's never had a problem with not bringing his partners to premieres, but he didn't have a problem being at Jenny's premiere, for example, and he didn't seem to care about the backlash then. This whole premier thing was just as half-assed as everything else in this shitshow. You want to come to the premiere? Okay, I will do the bare minimum. You can get out of the same car as me, and we can have a fast chat, and then you can do whatever you want.

I hope those who said this will be the last thing he needs to do and then bye-bye PR contract and Alba are right.

That's my take on everything at this exact moment. Feel free to correct me if I made a mistake here and there 😊; I was trying to write down everything until this whole thing was fresh in my mind 😅

[nerdy-talks]

Warning : This post is going to be a very personal rage dump/rant.

There are heavy topics involved, including cancer and death. Also explicit language.

Out of consideration and respect to those of you who would prefer not to read it (since I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to), I will continue under the cut

Also pictures of my dogs, to break up the doom and gloom ^^"

-------------------------

I absolutely despise, loathe, hate toxic people.

Especially when those toxic people are the “wolf in sheep’s clothing” type.

Especially when those people don’t have the fucking balls to confront others directly and just choose to slink about behind the scenes like scummy little vermin.

So… my uncle Joe passed away a few days ago.

It was expected. He had been battling pancreatic cancer, which ended up spreading into his liver and lungs.

With that being said, even though he will be dearly missed, at least he no longer has to suffer.

I was close with my uncle.

In fact, it’s no exaggeration to say that I was much closer to him than I was with my own father (my Dad was a permanent presence in my life up until the day he died, but we had an extremely tumultuous, dysfunctional, volatile, abusive relationship.)

We visited my uncle Joe regularly ever since I was a baby, all the way up until somewhat recently. He spent countless hours at our place throughout the years. He was super close with my parents, doing tons of outdoorsy activities with them. I spent a good amount of my childhood with his family. When his wife passed away, my parents helped him and supported him. He helped us move twice. My Mom took his kids places when she was just dating my Dad. When my Dad passed away, my uncle Joe was there for me without me even having to ask.

Literally everything was good between us, and always has been.

It’s also thanks to my uncle Joe that we gained a new furry member of our family last year, who we named Dandy 💙 my uncle’s dog had puppies, he asked how many we wanted, so we took one lol

(I’ll include a few poor quality pictures because… well, I should probably break up this message with a little “positivity”, right?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was Dandy when he was still just a baby, 4 weeks and 3 days old.

Look at the cute little potato 🥹

We visited my uncle Joe every week to see him grow and develop, anxiously waiting until he was old enough to bring home.

And this was the day he finally joined our family ~

Look at how tiny he was compared to my one Black Lab (sorry for the terrible quality picture. Our carpets are old, but I swear they don't look that dingy ^^")

And here's Dandy today, one year and five months later ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway! Back to my rage-fueled rant :

My uncle Joe met someone about a year and a half ago, and she moved in with him pretty quickly.

Which certainly wasn't a bad thing. We were genuinely happy for him.

She seemed very nice, sweet, accepting, kind, receptive, and welcoming.

But for whatever reason, the dynamic changed the moment my uncle fell ill and the control landed in her hands.

Since my uncle Joe was sick, we all mutually decided that it would be best if communication was between my Mom/me and her (we would text her to check in to see how he was doing, as well as find out if/when it was a good time for us to visit)

This is where some inconsistencies started to appear.

For example :

She would tell us not to visit because my uncle was too sick (which was totally understandable!), but then would tell us a few days later how he was doing great and had fishing trips planned all week.

I 100% believed her at the time.

After all, everyone has both good and bad days.

But then when we would visit, my uncle Joe told us how he couldn’t fish anymore because the chemo was causing neuropathy in his hands, and he couldn’t hold his fishing pole or cast/reel the line in.

Though we just assumed he discovered those issues after she told us about those supposed fishing trips.

But the true eye-opener happened during our one visit. My uncle Joe welcomed us into his home, we talked, found out some updates about his health (which was declining), etc. He was open/transparent with us about everything.

When my uncle went to the bathroom during that visit, his girlfriend made the comment “I probably should have told you guys not to come here, since he’s in a lot of pain today.”

Knowing my uncle, I didn’t budge from my seat. I knew that if he wasn’t up for company, he wouldn't hesitate to tell us to leave.

And I’m glad we didn’t leave… because literally 10 minutes later, her granddaughter came waltzing in to visit her.

My uncle came out of the bathroom, sat on the sofa doubled over in pain as he was talking to me and my Mom (at this time, we asked him directly if we should leave, since we knew he was dealing with a lot and we didn't want to overstay our welcome. He told us not to leave, that we could stay because he felt like shit regardless).

But as he was sitting there, clearly in pain, his girlfriend and her granddaughter asked him to get up and carve a watermelon for them instead of doing it themselves.

What sense does that make?

'I should have told you guys to stay away, but I’m gonna make him strain himself and carve a watermelon for us even though he’s already suffering and struggling enough'

…. Okay. Fuck you too.

We obviously didn’t say anything. We just visited for a little while longer, then left with a friendly/cordial “goodbye, nice to see you again” to her and her granddaughter, told my uncle that we would be thinking about him and see him again, and wished them a good day.

Two and a half months passed before we heard from them again.

Why? Because she refused to answer our numerous calls and texts.

She deliberately ignored us, which actively prevented us from having an opportunity to see my uncle.

And she knew damn well that we wouldn’t just show up at my uncle’s house unannounced because we didn’t want to disturb him if he wasn’t feeling up for company.

We only got in contact with him again after he directly called our phone and left a message saying “hey, just checking in. I hope you’re both doing okay, since I haven’t heard from either of you in a while. Stop by when you can”.

So we went to his house.

When we explained the situation to my uncle Joe/passive aggressively confronted his girlfriend, her excuse was “oh, sorry. The reception here is bad so my phone was probably just acting up.”

For two and a half months?

Even though she was literally using her phone in front of us, which appeared to be working perfectly fine?

Even though she’s always on her phone every time we see her?

Even though she could have reached out to us, yet chose not to? Not even once in two and a half months??

I call bullshit.

My Mom even told her that she was on the verge of sending a text that said “okay, cunt.” since we thought she was ignoring us after not responding to our multiple texts/calls.

We all laughed it off as a joke, Joe's girlfriend even said “hahaha, I probably would have laughed if I got a text like that!” … but it most certainly was not a joke.

(My Mom is extremely outspoken and normally doesn’t hold back, especially when it counts. She’s the type of person you either love or hate, but she’s definitely one of a kind and the perfect example of a strong, independent woman who gives zero fucks lol)

Anyway, that visit went well. We behaved like usual, talked to both my uncle and his girlfriend normally, caught up on stuff, etc.

After that interaction, his girlfriend miraculously responded to every single call and text (bad reception, huh? Funny how she had zero service issues after we called her out in front of my uncle)

But basically every time we talked with her, she would say “it’s not a good time to come by, he’s really sick.”

And we would always respond with things like “we totally understand”, “thank you so much for letting us know”, “we wish there was something we could do to help”, “we’re here for you if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to since we know this also isn’t easy for you”, “we’ll check in next weekend”, “please take care of yourself”, “we’ll be thinking about you”, etc.

Then finally, my uncle Joe told us to stop up again two weeks ago. So we did.

He was extremely sick and remained in bed, but we said hello and he told us that we are more than welcome there and we could just visit with his girlfriend. So we did. The visit remained cordial and friendly.

The next day, my uncle called and apologized for not getting up when we were there.

We immediately told him that he has absolutely no reason to be sorry, that we completely and wholeheartedly understand, that we would understand even if he told us to leave the moment we arrived, and that we were keeping him in our thoughts.

The week after that, his girlfriend said he was too sick for company (which again, we obviously understood and thanked her for letting us know, wished them the best, etc).

We didn’t visit my uncle Joe after that. He passed away before we had another opportunity to see him.

Now, here’s where my anger starts to come into play :

His girlfriend didn’t let us know when he passed away.

We found out from my other uncle, Mike, two days later. (My Dad had 3 brothers. His eldest brother is my uncle Joe who just passed away. His youngest brother is my uncle Mike who let us know what happened.)

So my Mom called her and offered her condolences, asked how she was doing, told her that we’re here for her, and asked about the arrangements. My Mom also told her that Mike was the one who let us know about Joe.

She made the comment “there’s going to be a small ceremony, but only for immediate family.”

Which didn’t make sense to me or my Mom. We were both very close with my uncle Joe, we are family. So that comment seemed a bit… off?

But we dismissed it and instead talked to my uncle Mike.

We asked him to please keep us updated, since we wanted to pay our respects to my uncle Joe and our family.

Well… I don’t know what the Hell that lady said to my cousin (Joe’s son), but he told my uncle Mike not to tell us anything else.

That snake in the grass obviously ran back and told my cousin that we found out about Joe’s passing from Mike.

But uhh... We deserved to know.

Now, we literally just found out this morning that the ceremony was held yesterday. We weren't invited (the day/time wasn't publicly announced).

We were excluded. We were denied the opportunity to say our final goodbye.

I blame his girlfriend. Completely and entirely.

I especially find it super interesting that she didn’t attend the ceremony either… almost like she was afraid that we might possibly show up and confront her (which we would never do, purely out of respect for my uncle Joe)

When my uncle Mike told us, he apologized. But we told him that we don’t blame him, since we certainly didn’t want to put him in the middle of it.

It just pisses me the fuck off.

Bad enough she actively prevented us from seeing my uncle Joe, even on his “good” days. But then to keep us away from the ceremony too?

And she HAD to have fed my cousin a bunch of lies and bullshit to cause him to tell my uncle Mike not to inform us of anything. (Luckily for us, my uncle Mike loves to talk so he didn’t mind spilling the tea. He just felt guilty for not doing so sooner. But I understand why he waited, and I hold zero animosity towards him)

It’s especially confusing and upsetting since we always remained on good terms with all of my cousins.

We saw my cousins regularly, got along well with them, joked around with them.

Literally nothing that we did or didn’t do would warrant such a reaction from them.

If there was any fault on our end, I certainly wouldn’t be angry about this situation or waste my time typing this up. (I'm not the type of person who plays the victim, I admit when I'm wrong and own up to my faults/wrongdoings. That just isn't the case here.)

So it’s seriously a mystery to me… which is why I blame my uncle Joe’s girlfriend.

Absolutely nothing changed in the decades of knowing my uncle and his kids. Literally the only recent change was her coming into the picture.

(I also want blame my cousin, since he’s older than me and has a mind of his own… but I also know that he’s grieving the loss of his father, so I feel like that bitch took advantage of the situation to say whatever she wanted about us while my cousin is vulnerable and not thinking clearly/properly).

Regardless of the finer details…. I am absolutely livid.

It’s like a giant “fuck you” to us, like we aren’t good enough, like our feelings don’t matter.

And that pisses me off beyond belief.

I’m debating whether or not I should confront her.

On one hand, I probably should just let it go and move on.

But on the other hand… I want to play dumb, call her, and be like “How are you doing? Do you know when the ceremony is?“ just to see what she says.

And then tell her to go fuck herself.

Is that immature of me? Sure.

But I’m angry. Annoyed. Irritated. Fuming. My rage is boiling, my wrath is building. And I feel like exploding.

Needless to say… my Mom was right. That lady is a cunt. A toxic, festering, diabolical, oozing, gaping, pungent cunt.

If you’ve read up to this point, I genuinely apologize for dumping all of this off here.

I just needed to vent a bit.

I also owe everyone who has tagged me a HUGE thank you. You have all given me a much needed distraction from everything, plus I genuinely love being tagged.

So I will absolutely start posting/replying to those a little later (I've already started on them and have them saved in my drafts, I just want to finish them all and post everything at once lol)

[tonberry-yoda]

Betrayal - Ashe x Cassidy

notes: yeah... i ship them. SHUT UP THEY'RE CUTE! they hate each other with so much love, so yeah. I loved writing for this and have wanted to write it FORVER, so here you all go! Have a great day and stay extra hydrated <33333

word count: 1,140

"Ashe!!!" One of the members of the Deadlock gang ran into Ashe's office, the wooden door slamming against the wall. "Ashe I have some bad news."

Ashe picked up her viper, filling it with bullets. "Well this better be good then," she woke up BOB by slamming her fist on her chest and led the Omnic butler out of her office. "So what is it then?" She asked the shaking member of the gang.

He moved his bandana down from his mouth and followed after Ashe and Bob. "Uh... he's back, Ashe."

She scoffed and spit on the ground. "Is he alone?"

"We didn't see anyone else."

"Where is he?"

"Well," the boy stepped in front of Ashe, stopping her. "He was actually knocking on the front door, asking to come inside."

Ashe froze and tilted her head. "What do you mean he was asking to come inside?"

"He's just standing at the door. That's why I figured we'd get you."

"What about the guards?"

"They're fine and still at their posts."

"Fine then," Ashe stepped around the boy and led BOB and herself to the front door. "Leave me with him. I need to see what this pathetic son of a gun wants."

"Y-Yes ma'am!" The boy ran off, asking others to come with him, but stay on the lookout for their boss.

"BOB," Ashe looked at her butler with narrow eyes and pointed to a corner of the room. "Stay there and don't make a move until I signal for it, okay?"

BOB nodded and rushed to the corner. Ashe held her gun close, but she wasn't scared. Not of him.

She opened the door and found Cassidy standing like a sad puppy. He lit up when he saw Ashe though, a smile spreading across his face. "Liz, I-"

She slammed the door shut on his face and reopened the door. "Try again, boy," she told him, her gun at the ready, clicking it.

"A-Ashe, I just wanted to talk."

"Then talk." Her viper was still pointed at his face, her dynamite ready if need be. "And make it snappy."

"I'm sorry."

Ashe cackled and moved her gun down, taking a step forward. "Did you come all this way to tell me jokes, or were you really wantin' to talk?!"

"Ashe, I'm serious."

"Is that so?" She asked, mockingly. "Cuz I don't think you are. You made yer decision back then and you stuck with it, didn't you?!"

"I-"

"Blackwatch treatin' you well? You know, you still have one hell of a bounty on yer head that I wouldn't mind takin for myself."

"I'm not in Blackwatch anymore."

"Damn boy, you really desertin' everyone, aintcha?!"

"Ashe, I-"

"Nice arm you got there." She smiled slyly looking down at his prosthetic arm. BOB had taken that from him the day Cassidy decided to leave, now a traitor to the Deadlock Gang and Ashe herself.

"Am I allowed to speak now?" Cassidy lit a cigar and narrowed his eyes at Ashe.

"Fine. Go ahead."

"Can I come in?"

"What, you want some coffee too?! Maybe a bubble bath and a party? Hell no. You can stay in the desert sand where you belong."

"I didn't mean to break your heart, Ashe."

She laughed, but Cassidy didn't even smile.

"You didn't break shit, Cassidy. I feel fine."

"The picture on your bike doesn't say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ashe said through clenched teeth, anger forming in her red eyes.

"I've missed you, Ashe."

"Tell it to the canyon, Cassidy," she went to slam the door, but Cassidy caught it in his prosthetic hand.

"You still mad?"

"Am I still mad?! Whaddya think, boy?!"

Cassidy giggled and his eyes met Ashe's. He was one of her first real friends. She ran away from a rich family that didn't care and was seen as nothing but a failure and an outlaw who got into trouble. But when she found a partner who thought she was crazy and smart and more than she was ever told in her life, she felt free. But she hated being betrayed, hated the idea of being alone again, hated the idea of losing her found family. But there he was betraying her. And that's why he doesn't have an arm anymore. He doesn't deserve it.

"I didn't mean to make you mad. I just wanted to help other people out." Cassidy's voice was soft and he stepped close to Ashe.

"I hate you," Ashe whispered.

"I know." Cassidy opened his arms and Ashe fell right in, wrapping her arms around his big torso. He smelled like cheap cologne and sweat and she hated that she thought it was comforting.

"You're not allowed back in the deadlock gang, Cole, you know that, right?" Her voice was muffled in his chest and she pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

"I know. I didn't come to join your gang. I don't wanna make you all mad by joining again. I got other plans. I just wanted to apologize." Cassidy's hands found a place on Ashe's hips, resting peacefully as they embraced.

They stayed like that for a little while and Ashe got on her tippy toes to pull Cassidy closer, playing with the back of his soft brown locks.

Finally, Ashe pulled away from the hug, her eyes stuck on Cassidy. "I'll kill you next time I see you here, you know that, right, Cole?"

"I assumed," he stretched and spotted BOB in the back of the room. He winked at him and turned back to Ashe. "Well, in that case, I won't be back here for a while. It was good to see you, Elizabeth."

"Shut up, Cole." She couldn't help but let out a little giggle.

Cassidy leaned down, his nose inches away from hers. "It'll be a long time before we see each other."

"I sure hope so, I'd be pretty pissed if I saw you back here tomorrow cryin' at my door." She made the first move and pressed her lips to Cole's. He cupped her face in his big callused hands and pulled her closer. She smiled into the kiss, immediately regretting it when she heard a little giggle from Cassidy. It was a mocking giggle, but she didn't really care because for once, she was actually enjoying herself with Cassidy.

Cole pulled away and smiled at Ashe's flushed lips and cheeks. "You're cute."

"Get out." She pulled up her viper with a giggle and Cassidy started running, the spurs of his boots jingling.

"Catch you one day, Ashe!" He waved and she waved back, leaning on her gun.

She let out a little happy sigh and turned to BOB, who, if he could, would give her a little smirk.

"Quit it BOB, you have work to do."

~~~~~

overwatch masterlist | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[anexperimentallife]

So we had to report someone after they posted a picture of El and me along with a long, totally unhinged (and wildly inaccurate) rant, @'d @thesurestthing and me, and sent dms to both of us, both the post and dms being about what horrible people we all are, how disabled people are just lazy, how anyone who has to ask for help after being hit with too many unexpected emergencies in a row is a terrible lazy person, that interracial relationships are bad, how I'm going to die soon, etc...

Oh, and how they they HOPE Zoey and El suffer for the rest of their lives after I'm gone, and how Zoey will be begging for help forever because she's useless.

So... Monday here.

Also, they claim Zoey is just my girlfriend (she's my wife), they didn't know she's from the US, and opine that it's my fault my youngest son died in his twenties of pneumonia (which according to them he did to himself--while I was a thousand miles away--but it's somehow still my fault) and my fault that my older son shot himself after refusing attempt after attempt from myself and others to get him to accept help for his bipolar disorder. So yeah, thanks for using the deaths of my sons to attack me. Shows a lot of class.

Also, they claim Zoey is a terrible mother, has no drive, and no skills (despite her being an excellent mother, earning a college degree while she was still in high school, and despite ONE of the reasons we're going back--in addition to me needing medical treatment--being for her to work and get a higher degree), and apparently we should both be working here even though we're not legally allowed to (because, again, disabled people are just lazy and we should also risk imprisonment, because THAT would be responsible)?

Somehow, they're also very concerned for Zoey and El despite outright saying they HOPE El and Zoey suffer?

Just completely off the rails, unhinged ranting.

They didn't even get the timeline right. I was autistic with ADHD and head and spine injuries before we found out (during the Philippines STRICT lockdown) that we were having a baby, and at that point I'd just gotten contracted for the licensing fee, which we had every reason to believe (based on the longevity of the company's other properties) that it would gp on for basically as long as I was game m--so it LOOKED like smooth sailing ahead. (That contract was the only reason we stopped being so careful to avoid pregnancy, too.)

So yes, I was disabled when we got pregnant with El, but in a stable way at that point. It wasn't until AFTER we found out about the pregnancy that I got covid three times that my health started scarily declining. THAT was when all the scary stuff with my eye and heart and feet and face started. But apparently we're horrible for... not knowing that was going to happen?

Thing is, if the company that was paying me a licensing fee to turn my first-sold story into a game hadn't canceled the project one year in with zero notice (while we were still paying for El's birth), if El hadn't had a mistake on her birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years to resolve, and if I hadn't gotten COVID three times, we'd be okay financially. We wouldn't have had to ask for help with El's legal stuff or my medical bills, and we wouldn't have to be asking for help now.

Of course, we're the only people they follow, and that's their only post, so they obviously made the blog just for this purpose. I think I know who it is, but I can't prove it, so oh, well. Took screen shots in case receipts are needed later, but since it's obviously a throwaway account, it would be pointless to @ them here.

(Oh, apparently we're also bad people for being... liberals? LOL We're leftists, man. Liberals are more conservative than we are.)

Like I said, pretty sure I know who it is, and they probably hate-follow us from another account anyway, but, y'know, they're too cowardly to show themselves. So hi. Go to therapy.

Yeah. Fun stuff.

Anyway, if you'd like to help us all get back to the US so I can use my benefits to get the medical treatment I need (which, again, is needed as a result of me getting covid 3X AFTER we found out we were having El), please see my pinned post.

[destinyc1020]

Thank you! I think you worded it perfectly. Like there is kind of this lack of empathy for Zendaya because she is rich and she will be fine, as if law is not also very rich. But the fact he didn't tell her beforehand is really not right. I get it was impulsive but I can't imagine being Zendaya and sitting in London and going on IG at the end of the day and seeint that. She probably was panicking and thinking something really bad happened and was worried about him and also probably shocked and upset. And then after all that to see the viral hate train go against her on Twitter, ig TikTok etc, to have hate comments on her IG and law to do nothing until like two days later??? I get law is a dramatic dude but none of that was fair to her, when she has been so loyal to him and like he said protected her. But I really feel law was just in it for himself.

Like I said, we all love Law and have done so for so many years, so that's why this is so tough to say.... But sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I didn't feel like it was right at all for him to just totally blindside her (his biggest client and little sister) like that. 🥴 It wasn't right to do that to his other clients either, but at least with Z I thought they talked about everything. I guess not 🥴

Yea, like you said, I'm sure in the end she will be fine (she's Zendaya after all), and I'm sure PLENTY of stylists would be chomping at the bit just to get to be her next stylist (Personally, my first choice would be Jason Bolden since he's black and styles many high-profile celebrities), but that still doesn't negate the fact that the way Law handled this was just really kinda cruel. 🥴

What Law SHOULD have done (imo) was inform Zendaya and the rest of his clients beforehand that he was retiring, and THEN post it to his IG.

And in all honesty, what he really could have done was told Zendaya privately that he was THINKING of retiring. She could have given him some time off. Maybe he's still grieving his nephew's death.... that's all understandable. Grief comes in WAVES. Some days you're perfectly fine, and other days you're a hot mess and a bundle of emotions. 😔 Little things can trigger you (ie. a memory, a photograph, etc). Like, I totally get all of that.

But he could have taken a much-needed BREAK, maybe even taken MONTHS off (if he needed to), then he could have come back with a more clear head, and then made whatever life-changing decisions he needed to make (if still applicable). 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm also still kind of miffed that he didn't just WAIT to post that retirement post. 🥴 He had FULL control over what he posted, and WHEN. This isn't like some paps photographed you one day against your knowledge and consent, and you had absolutely no idea some scandalous pictures of you were gonna come out to the public, so you didn't have time to warn anybody close to you lol. 🤣 😂

Like NO.... he had FULL CONTROL over WHAT he posted, and WHEN. 🤨

Personally, if it had been me, I would have deliberately waited weeks, maybe even MONTHS after the whole LV "no seat" fiasco in Paris before posting my "retirement", because now it just looks like you're retiring cuz you were mad and salty that you couldn't sit next to your client Zendaya at the fashion show. 👀

It would have garnered way less hate for his client Zendaya as well if he had just waited to release that announcement a little later until AFTER ppl forgot about the whole Paris thing, or at least after you and your client are seen working together on another event.

Everything is all about image in this industry, because everyday fans take little crumbs and run with it, creating a full on narrative, no matter how false it may be. 🙄 You have to ask yourself: "How is this going to look to other people?" 🤔

I just can't believe he let Zendaya go to London totally blindsided. 😔

He just didn't think of her feelings and mental health at all as far as I'm concerned. And I'm sorry, but I'm really just SHOCKED because that just doesn't seem like his character at all, but now I guess I know better lol 😅👀

If I were Z I would tread REAL carefully with him. 👀 I know I don't have all the facts, and of course I have no clue what they've discussed since then, so my knowledge of the situation is clearly very miniscule, and I freely admit that. But for him to basically say out of his own mouth that he didn't tell her (like, we're not just ASSUMING things here.... like, he basically said it himself) is just.... wow. 😳

He just showed me that when stuff hits the fan, he's gonna think about himself and himself only 👀

Idk.... like I said, I were Z I'd keep both eyes open, that's all I'm saying. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 50

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Misunderstanding be damned. You and Billy have a heart to heart, you reveal something you've hid and maybe there's a chance to work towards a new start

One thing you'd loved about Curtis from the first time you met him. The man didn't ask questions if a friend told him they needed something. 

He showed up at your place and when you opened the door he handed you the keys to his car then proceeded to grab a drink out your fridge and sit on the couch "I'll be here however long you need me to stay with her Y/N. Go take care of whatever you have to" 

You leaned over the back of the couch and hugged him around the shoulders "You're one in a million Curt" he laughed and said "Can i get that in writing?" You grabbed your jacket and slipped it on before replying "Hell I'll even get Foggy to notarize it" "Be careful" he called as you headed out the door.

--------------------

You hadn't exactly planned what you were going to say to him as you parked in front of Billy's building. A sick thought occurred of the possibility of him having someone in his place with him but you pushed it off your mind. 

You had to know what was going on with him even if it was just to make sure it wouldn't mess up his schedule seeing Adi because normally that would've been his first stop.

You locked Curtis's car and slid the keys into pocket. You kept an eye on your surroundings until you got in the building then headed for the elevator.

--------------

When you finally got to the third floor you found your steps slowing the closer you got to his door and realized you were nervous. Every fear you'd ever had about Billy was popping up in your head. From him having someone in there all the way to him deciding family life wasn't for him. No he loved Adi. That much you'd bet everything on.

----------------

You stopped in front of his door and took a deep breath before knocking. You heard his muffled voice from the other side say something along the lines of "Hold on" before the door was swinging open to show Billy dressed in a dark blue t-shirt and black jeans. He'd taken his jacket off since you'd saw him but it was apparent he'd been wide awake.

His dark eyes scanned your face for a long moment worry showing plainly in them "Y/N? Are you ok? Is Adi ok?" You finally nodded after a moment spent just staring into his eyes "I'm fine and she's ok but I need to talk to you"

You saw him take a deep breath like he was bracing himself for something before he stepped back and motioned you inside "Come on in"

-----------------

You stood just inside Billy's door and let your eyes flicker around his apartment. You'd been there a couple times but it was such a contrast to how his last place had been it startled a part of you still. 

The only decoration in the place was a few pictures of Adi scattered around the room. 

Everything else was so blatantly bare it hurt some part of you to see. You finally turned to face him and realized he'd been staring at you so you decided to jump in head first "Billy you've acted weird towards me since Christmas. Now I don't know what I did but please tell me. At least for Adi's sake cause I don't know a lot about the whole co parenting thing but I know everything is easier when two people are on the same page"

"It's you and Matt" he finally said after a moment and you took a tentative step towards him before you found the words to ask "What about me and Matt?" 

------------

Billy couldn't look you in the eye as the memories flooded his head. Of all the things he'd worked to get back a large part of him wished those memories had been among the ones Frank had knocked permanently out of his head.

He could see you that night in Josie's. He'd found out about you seeing Matt from some mutual friends. He couldn't quite remember who but he'd seen you around with him and couldn't help but show up at the bar once he discovered Matt and Foggy frequented it.

He'd sat in the corner knowing how to lose himself in a crowd and waited. It wasn't long before he'd heard your voice. He followed the sound to see you sitting in a corner booth with Matt, Alice and Kenzie.

For longer than he'd ever care to admit he'd watched you and Matt. You were beautiful. The black jeans you wore hugged your body perfectly and the red top showed just enough cleavage to be sexy but not too showy. Matt was attentive to you. Never turning away when he spoke and leaning closer when the noise in the bar started to grow. 

He watched as you had leaned your head over on Matt's arm much like you had tonight. He had broken the beer bottle in his hand when you tilted Matt's face towards yours and left a lingering kiss on his lips. 

You had looked happy until you saw him then your whole demeanour had changed. You whispered something to Matt then when he'd purposely stepped in your path when the two of you started to leave. You'd grabbed Matt's arm and walked out, he hadn't even wanted to imagine what you'd done when you'd left the bar.

------------

The longer Billy remained quiet the more worried you got. When he started rubbing his hand roughly across his head, tugging slightly at the longer locks that'd grown out since he'd been out you knew you had to do something to break him out his own mind so you stepped closer to him and gently put your hands on both sides of his face. "Billy?" 

He blinked a few times before his eyes finally focused on yours. You smiled when you saw that he was actually looking at you "Talk to me. What is bothering you about me and Matt?" 

He closed his eyes and took a few slow breaths before he finally covered your hands with his own holding them to his face "I remember you being with him. I remember the two of you as a couple after I broke up with you. Every time I've been around you and him together it digs it in a little deeper. He's a good guy Y/N. A better guy than me"

"Billy open your eyes" when he did as you asked you pulled your hand free from his face but before his face could fall from the perceived rejection you grabbed one of his hands and placed it on your pulse point on your neck "My heart beat speeds up when I lie..no matter how hard I try for it not to so I want you to feel as I say this. I was with Matt yes. He treated me damn good and me and him are still close friends and hopefully will remain friends because by now I couldn't imagine my life without him in it but I do not want to be with him like that. Nothing with him ever came anywhere near you. When I think of my future these days I think about Adi and you"

----------------

His dark eyes never left yours as you spoke and you felt his hand shift to be cupping the side of your face instead of holding your neck "Do you mean that?" He asked in a low voice that made your stomach flip "Yes Billy I mean it"

Without thinking you surged forward catching his lips in a quick kiss. He looked as stunned as you felt when you pulled back. You studied each other for a moment before he was suddenly kissing you like he was trying to make up for the years you'd been apart.

Every part of your body felt like it was on fire as Billy advanced on you and you backed up until your back hit a wall never daring to pull your lips from his in fear of breaking the moment. His kiss had always been intoxicating and after this long you felt like an alcoholic that had allowed themselves a drink of the finest whiskey.

His hands smoothed down your sides pulling light noises from your lips as you moved your hands to his shoulders trying to pull him even closer. He let his hands move lower to grip your hips tightly which caused a gasp of surprise to leave you.

---------------

As suddenly as it had started it was over. Billy drew back from you and backed away like you were on fire. Your chest was heaving from his actions moments before but you were hurt. Did you do something wrong? Or did he really just not want you like that any more?

"I can't do this. Not now" he muttered and it felt like a slap in the face when it occurred to you he meant kissing you. "Why can't you kiss me Billy?" You asked, feeling very defensive until he spun around and the emotions in his eyes made your breath catch in your throat 

"Because I don't want to just kiss you. I want nothing more than to show you how much I've missed your touch, your taste..those sounds you make when you're under me and coming undone. But I can't. I love you and our daughter with everything I have but I'm not fucking up this second chance. I need to be the man you both deserve and being with you like that now wouldn't be right"

You threw up your hands in a mixture of frustration and pure embarrassment from initiating the kiss to start "Why does everyone else think they know what I deserve or not?" He stepped back closer to you and cupped your cheek once more "Sweetheart it's because of how much I love you that I want to do this right by waiting"

You froze staring into his eyes and knew he'd meant every word. It took you a second before you were able to say "I don't mind waiting" he smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. 

You closed your eyes when you felt his lips on your skin and grabbed his arm before he could step away "My couch is pretty comfortable so why don't you come over? Adi would love to wake up to daddy after a week without seeing you" he searched your face for any uncertainty about him staying at your place and when he didn't find any nodded "Let me grab some clothes"

The ride back to your place was in silence. You glanced at Billy whenever you got to a stop light and he'd simply smile at you. A part of you was worried what Curtis may say about Billy coming home with you as you parked in front of your building and both of you headed inside.

-----------------

When you walked into the door of your apartment Curtis glanced up from the tv and simply hitched an eyebrow when he saw Billy walk in the door behind you. "She's sleeping soundly mama" he said with a smile as he stood up and walked towards you.

You leaned up to hug him "Thanks Curt" he nodded when he pulled away and said "Anytime Y/N. Have a goodnight" then glanced at Billy and added "You too" and patted his shoulder on the way out too.

After Curtis walked out you realized you and Billy were still standing in the entryway of your apartment so you motioned to the couch "I'm gonna grab a quick shower then I'll get you a pillow and blanket. If you want we can watch a movie or something?" He nodded and said "Sounds good. Mind if I grab a shower after you?" "Yeah no problem. I'll be quick"

------------------

You went back and forth on what to wear to bed then finally just decided on your usual bed clothes consisting of an oversized shirt and some sleep shorts. Wasn't like Billy hadn't seen you in a lot less.

You grabbed the extra pillow off your bed and stepped into the closet to grab one of your spare blankets then walked back into the living room.

Billy was sitting on the edge of the couch and glanced up when you walked out. You walked over in front of him and held out the pillow and blanket "I'm gonna check on Adi while you're in the shower" he nodded and sat the pillow and blanket down next to him and said "I'll be quick" then stood to head to your bathroom.

----------------

When Billy got out the shower you were sitting in the recliner scrolling through the lists of movies you could watch. You were used to watching Disney ninety percent of the time so it felt weird to be looking at anything else. "So what you pick?" He asked and you glanced up to see him standing in the doorway in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. 

"Um thinking a western?" He nodded and dropped his dirty clothes into his overnight bag "Sounds good to me" he sat on the couch and his eyes flicked towards you a few times before he motioned next to him "Wanna sit over here with me?" 

You tried to ignore your heart beating in your throat when you stood and walked across to sit next to him. You were being ridiculous. This was Billy, the father of your child. You'd known him for so long it was hard to remember a time before him yet you felt like a teenager left alone with her boyfriend for the first time.

He stretched his arm over the couch behind you then leaned over and whispered in your ear "If you don't relax a little I'm gonna start feeling unwanted here" you smiled then let yourself sink back into the cushion and pulled your feet up under you. After it was clear you were comfortable he grabbed the remote and clicked play.

------------------

As you were watching the movie you felt your eyelids getting heavy but fought it. The longer you stayed up the longer you got to be around him without any pretenses having to be put forth but when your head dipped one time and you woke up a little while later with your head back against his shoulder you realized the fight was useless. You were fucking exhausted and needed to go to bed.

------------

When your head started dipping Billy tried to keep the smile off his face. He'd seen you try to stay awake past exhaustion more than once and knew what it looked like. When your head dipped the last time and he felt a pressure against his shoulder he smiled when he glanced down and saw you were leaning against him.

God it felt like heaven with you so close to him but he knew it was only temporary. You'd have to go to bed eventually then come morning you'd go to work and so would he and the moment would be over. Hell he didn't even know if you'd still feel the same way when morning found you.

When you sat up and stretched with a yawn he smiled when you said "Sorry Billy. I gotta head to bed" you stood up and was almost to your room when he said "Goodnight Y/N. I love you"

-------------

You froze with your hand on your door. You didn't know what to say. Hours before Billy had just told you he wanted to wait to try to be together again but now he was saying he loved you?

You didn't try to face him. You knew you couldn't look into his eyes and not say you loved him, not say you wanted to be with him so you simply said "If you need anything knock" and walked into your room shutting the door behind you.

Billy was asleep when he heard a scream and jumped straight up off the couch. Before his feet hit the floor good he was moving towards your room. He'd know your voice through any fog of sleep. You sounded in pain. 

He'd just touched the handle to open it when it opened to show you. Your eyes were wide with still unshed tears and he saw streaks of them down your cheeks. Your hands were shaking when you nearly collapsed against his chest, heavy sobs wracking your body.

He held you tight trying to comfort you enough you would be able to tell him what was wrong. "Sweetheart, talk to me. I'll do my best to fix whatever it is" you finally pulled away from him a bit and he felt his heart break at seeing you so upset "Rawlins had Adi. He hurt her Billy. I have to check on her" 

He had to force the knot in his throat back down to his stomach. Of course his sins were still haunting you "Rawlins is dead. I promise you. Adi is ok. She's safe" you shook your head, eyes still wide "No i have to check on her Billy. I have to make sure that she's safe. I have to" 

He nodded and said "Ok love. I'll go with you to check on her. I'll even double check the window" he started to step back so you could lead the way but your hand shot out and grabbed his arm "Please stay close to me. I don't want to be alone right now" he slid his arm around your shoulders without a word.

---------------

He could feel his jaw tensing as he stood watching you check Adi twice over then you moved to insure her wardrobe was in front of the window which was locked up tight. He hated seeing you like this. He hated not being able to fix it. He'd do anything for you and Adi but he couldn't kill someone who was already dead. 

He didn't want to disturb you but after a moment you reached back for his hand and pulled him up next to you. He ran a hand across your lower back and said "See? She's safe" 

Your voice was barely a whisper when you said "He hurt her Billy. It felt so real" he pulled you against his chest hoping to give you some sort of comfort "I'm so sorry" he hoped you knew he meant that for so much more than a nightmare.

You laid your head over on his chest so he wrapped you in a hug before you said "Thank you for being here. I haven't told anyone else about the dreams besides Alice and Karen. Alice only knows because I had a few at work before during a long shift. Karen because I've been sharing a bed with her and had one. They've happened since I was pregnant"

He closed his eyes against the flood of emotion that came along with knowing how long you'd been dealing with the horrors alone. "Y/N I promise you I will die before I let anyone lay a finger on you or her" you sniffled against his chest and nodded "I know you would Billy" 

You felt horrible to even ask but you knew normally after a nightmare you didn't see a lot of sleep so before you could stop your mouth the words had already escaped "Billy would you mind laying down with me? I don't want anything but for you to hold me. If I know you're there I'll know she's safe"

You wanted to take it back in fear but he just leaned down to gently touch Adi's back then grabbed your hand "Of course sweetheart"

-------------

You walked into your bedroom with Billy following you. Your nerves were still very much on edge and every noise made you jump. "Which side?" He asked and you pointed to your side of the bed so he went around and sat on the other side then looked back at you "Do you want me to hold you or do you want to lay on my chest like you always liked to do?" 

You swallowed twice before saying "chest" he climbed under the blanket then held it up "C'mon" you slowly climbed into the bed and scooted over until you were almost next to him "Are you sure? I mean I know we aren't back together I just I want you close after that. I still feel safe with you"

He reached out and pulled you onto his chest "It's fine. I'm glad to be here" you took a few seconds to get comfortable then glanced up to see he was watching you with that patent Russo smirk "Good now?" You nodded "I'm much better. Thanks for doing this"

He raised an eyebrow and his smirk deepened into a grin "No thanks needed for holding the woman I love when she needs me" you rolled your eyes then said "I mean it Billy. You said you weren't ready and this is more intimate than any amount of kissing" he leaned down and left a gentle kiss on your temple "You're welcome sweetheart. I would do anything for you and our babygirl"

"Is there anyway I can help you?" You asked letting your fingers lazily draw circles on his clothed chest "You already are. You let me in our daughter's life and back into yours. These last few weeks I hated pulling away from you but I had to know if you wanted Matt because I meant it when I said you only deserve the best yet you still want me. When you came to my place tonight, that meant more than anything. Even after everything. Even though we're not quite sure what the future holds you want me here comforting you. I never dreamed of getting this again"

You cut your eyes up at him "I want us to have another chance Billy" he brushed your hair back from your face before saying "I do too but we have to get there first. I know how much Frank means to you and I won't make you pick between us. I need to prove to him that I've changed. You and Adi..everything should be perfect for you two"

"What if it's not?" You asked lowering your eyes but he raised your chin up with one finger and smiled "When I have you and her? How could it not be perfect?"

He held your chin while he placed a gentle kiss to your lips. When he pulled away he said "Just know I love you. I have for years and I always will. You have always been the best thing in my life and now we have a perfect little girl. I wouldn't want a future without some hope for us. As for tonight lay your head down and get some sleep. You and her are safe"

You laid your head down on his chest and let the steady beat of his heart lull you to sleep.

Billy woke up a little while before you and started to pinch himself to make sure he was in fact not dreaming. You were really here cuddled up to him. 

Your hand twitching against his chest was the first sign you were waking up. When your eyelids fluttered open you looked up at him with a sleepy smile and let one finger trace the scar on the cheek that was closest to you "Good morning. Did you sleep good?" He nodded "How about you? No more bad dreams?" 

The way he felt when you smiled sweetly and said "Not a one" would've been enough to make him joke at his own expense at one time but now he relished the feeling.

Before anything else could be said he heard a noise that sounded very much like your front door opening and heard you curse yourself for forgetting the chain lock.

He was out the bed and to the door before you. He glanced back "Stay here just for a second please?" You nodded so he stepped out the room.

-----------

You were about to go out behind Billy when you heard Frank's voice even though it was lower than usual "What the fuck are you doing here?"

You quickly stepped out of the room to find the two of them staring each other down in your kitchen. Frank was clearly on the offense while Billy was just trying to gauge whether or not he was about to be forced to duck a punch.

You moved across the floor to be effectively between the two of them "Frank please calm down. This isn't what it looks like" "Oh sweetheart I am calm for the simple fact that I know Adi is asleep but are you really gonna try to tell me you and Bill both didn't just come out of your bedroom?"

"We slept as in actual sleep. That was it Frank" you kept your voice low but steady. "Yeah Bullshit. Tell someone else that" he nearly growled but you didn't shy away from him. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

He looked between you and Billy "It means the last time he was in your bed as far as I know anyways you had Adi or do you not remember crying to me because you didn't want to be alone when you found out you were pregnant?" you flinched at his tone and the memory.

Billy didn't want to get into it with Frank but he had to speak on your behalf "Frank you're overreacting man" Frank glared at him as he said "Funny I don't remember even talking to your ass?"

He turned back to you "Y/N i fucking love you and that little girl in there but are you forgetting the hell he's put all of us through? Hell you don't even trust him to go on a mission with me and Curt and not fuck Madani why would you want him in your bed?" You felt Billy freeze and glanced over to see he wasn't even looking at Frank but was staring at you "Yeah didn't think she'd told ya that Bill. She don't trust you either"

Billy felt like he'd been hit by a truck. Was that why you came to his place? You thought he'd been screwing Dinah? Hell the two of them didn't speak to each other outside of work or her asking about you and Adi. How fucked up was he that he couldn't show you that he only wanted to be with someone if that someone was you

"Y/N?" Billy asked Frank temporarily forgotten. You nodded "You threw it in my face that you were fucking her at one time Billy then you started acting weird" he shook his head "I never felt about her or any woman for that matter how I feel about you" he wanted to pull you into his arms but he knew when to leave well enough alone.

You wiped the hot angry tears from your face as you looked between them both. Fuck it hurt just looking at them. The two men that had always meant the most to you and they could barely be in a room when you were concerned.

"Frank he didn't pull the trigger. His crime in Maria and the kids dying is the fact that he should've let Rawlins kill me. Now me and Karen have talked about this and I know she's talked to you. You've seen how he's changed. He loves Adi. He's trying to be there for you and Curt again. Hell Sarah has even told us how he protected her and Zach when shit went down. I shouldn't be asked to pick between the men I love because one was a fucking idiot and should've let me die multiple times over"

You felt your hands shake and saw both Frank and Billy's faces fall when they both reached for you but you stepped away "No. I'm sick of this shit. I have been being pulled in two damn directions for too long. Frank you and Curt knew about his deal before I ever did so it could've been squashed long before I knew. Billy, whatever guilt you carry voice it now. This is coming to a head before Adi wakes up or I swear I will kick you both out"

They stared at each other for a long moment before Frank said "I want to hate you and I hate that I don't want you dead anymore" "Why?" Billy asked and Frank pointed to Adi's room "She lights up when she sees you. Y/N has been beating herself up for having feelings for you since she found out she was pregnant. I can't hurt them and you dying would. See, Adi is your daughter but I was there supporting Y/N when she had her. Not only that but Y/N has waded into shit neck deep for me. I ain't gonna lie I can see you've changed but I can't let myself not hate you. Not yet"

Billy nodded then said "I get it Frankie but there's nothing I can do to make it up to you" "Y/N and Adi are the only thing I have left of Maria and my kids. If you two didn't have sex why were you in her bed? I'm not standing by for you to use her"

You held up a hand and when Frank looked your way you sniffled before saying "I invited him to sleep on the couch so he could spend a little time with Adi. I woke him up when I had a nightmare about Rawlins hurting her. He comforted me and made sure I knew he'd keep her safe and I slept for longer than a few hours at a time for the first night in years. These nightmares haunt me because I know I shouldn't have this life. Frank I want for me and Billy to eventually have another real chance but I can't lose you"

Frank finally broke and pulled you into his arms shushing you quietly "You're not losing me. It'll take time but you're not losing me"  Billy stepped forward and when Frank looked up he said "Frankie no lines were crossed because I know I don't deserve her and Adi. She should put me through the wringer for another chance. I love her and Adi more than life itself. I want to be a brother to you and Curt again one day but I swear to you if I fuck up this chance I'll load the gun and hand it to you. Their happiness means more than my life"

Frank held out a hand and when Billy shook it he said "I'm holding you to that"

You laughed against Frank's chest and when they both looked at you like you'd grown a second head you shook your head "Why does everything with you two have to have some alpha male bullshit agreement?" Frank kissed your forehead with a chuckle and said "Let's talk about it over coffee"

You heard Adi call you from her room and a small smile found Billy's face "Can I?" You nodded so he headed for her room.

----------------

Frank watched him go then said "He is doing better and he does love her. I'll give him both of them cause he has my back in the field even though I've told him I don't think I'll ever fully trust him again"

"Frank I want a future with him but only if I can have you too. I've waded into shit neck deep to pull you out because I can't lose you and I just want to know if it's possible to have you both even in the future?" You could barely look at him but he put the coffee down then said "Y/N look at me"

When you did he took a breath then said "Honestly there isn't a lot that would make me walk away from you and Adi. Just take it slow and go in with your eyes open. As long as he treats you two like you're the best things he's ever even came near having a chance of having we won't have any trouble. He needs to keep you and her safe and happy but when you decide to give him another chance just don't hide anything from me please"

Without thinking you pulled him into a hug "I love you Frank" he chuckled and patted your back "Yeah kid I love you too"

@intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

[mygeekcorner]

mygeekcorner/757408949166342144

This post;

1, 2, 4, 5, 10 (FUCKING DUUHH?!), 14, 19, 22, 36, 37, 38 and 39

(enjoy bitch)

1, what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

how do you look at back at a whole life and pinpoint when it twisted this way or that? we're all made up of so many more impressions than could ever fit into a neat little map. but sure, i'll try. 3 things among thousands that shaped me into the floundering 30 something wine hag you all know now

school? that sounds way too broad but heck it. the way it shaped that sense of self and where you belonged both in and outside of classrooms. up to junior high I was Good At School but Bad At People and that gave me exactly that awful self importance that kids who are good at nothing but reading get to make up for how lonely we feel. oh fuck you, you all know exactly what kind of smugness I'm talking about here. thankfully I got into a high school class of people way smarter And more ambitious than me which gave me some much-needed reality checks when the fatigue set in senior year. yay?

being a horse girl was a strange balance looking back at it. you were taught to be ocd levels of careful when cleaning up and taking care of the horse and the equipment, but you're also knee-deep in literal shit in the pouring rain cause someone dropped their riding crop when hacking out and you can't go home until you have all your shit together. it definitely hits the need to be perfect always, but also makes you kind of immune to filth and grit?

the friends I had as a teen. I know it must come as a shock to you all but I've always been a very akward nerd who isn't always the best at knowing what's socially accepted or social suicide rip but in middle school somehow 4 nerdy girls found each other, and then others, and I will be forever grateful that I had that bunch of dorks to hang out with as we navigated puberty, school, fandom introductions, and all that other good shit. there is a certain kind of bond you make when 8 girls squeeze onto one 90cm bed for the slumber party and I love that we looked like a pile of pigs (according to one girls younger sister one such morning)

2, show us a picture of your handwriting?

4, what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

when we first got to know each other back in the day @magnusdidntwantablog was once kind enough to come pick me up from work when I was stationed at our store in the neighbouring town (about an hour away) and worked late enough that no buses would get me home. It was winter and his car was freezing but he wasn't wearing any gloves because he said he had the fans set on warmer air and it would warm up "any minute now". His hands were numb by the time we got to my place and the car was just turning into less of a fridge. Since then that delivery of "aaany minUTE now" has been our go to for when we think the other is being dumb and should just listen. Yes, I know you're sick of it, but that just makes it funnier to us.

5, what made you start your blog?

hubris? nah but my friends talked about it and it seemed fun, so I lurked for a bit and then decided I wanted in on it too

10, would you say you’re an emotional person? (FUCKING DUUHH?!)

HEY! that hurts my poor emotional feelings ;;_;;

but uh yeah, totally am. but I feel like I'm rarely UwU-soft emotional, more heart on sleeve and easily riled up-emotional rip lol

14, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

take up acting properly, but the older I get the less convinced I am that I have what it takes.. and also time commitment?

19, favourite thing about the day?

that's when I'm able to do the awake thing? also the eating thing.

22, say 3 things about someone you love

3 things I love about @jacquelinesrumbottle is how she is the most easily excitable person ever! she will hype anything and everyone she loves up to everyone she meets because did you know that her friends and fiance are the most talented, beautiful, amazing, generous people who ever walked the earth? also did you have a chance to read this breathtaking book or play that life changing game yet?

she is generous to a fault because spoiling people when she can brings her joy. but also we were supposed to send each other One Jar of Nutella, not a moving box filled with local sweets that took months to finish x'D

her imagination and sense of wonder is hard to find outside 3rd graders (affectionate), because everything really is possible! she carries a thousand stories in her cute little head at any given moment and also did you read the latest article on psychology or stray kids?

have I mentioned that I miss her?

36, are you an open book or do you have walls up?

both? if I care about people I don't have a lot of walls up around them, but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily the most forthcoming. I'll be dropping hints that I need to talk before I'll turn to someone outright and vent because heaven forbid that I bother someone with my small little life and its problems

37, share a secret

I have unread ao3 emails from 2017 (/o\)

if you think it's frustrating trying to get me to sit down and read or watch something you've recommended please know that in my inbox there are stories that I found myself, liked, subscribed to get updates when they posted new chapters, and then proceeded to Not read for 7 years? yeah, I hate myself a little a lot over it.

38, fave song at the moment?

who knows about fave, but this song has been playing on repeat in my brain for like a week so you can have that

39, youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

there's been a few over the years but I love watching Bernadette Banner for myself cause it's fascinating watching people who know things and she has such a calming presence.

but also we've been watching Ants Canada together to watch his homemade rainforest and the Special Interst(TM) is off the charts but it's so fucking earnest and something I really enjoy about our sundays lol

[babycatlix]

final invisalign update: retainers

okay, in my last post about my teeth, i was scheduled to get my attachments and buttons off. my mouth was SO DRY 😰 the only way to get the material off is to file/drill it off, which makes so much dust, more dust than you think. and i had to rinse my mouth like 4 times before it felt like we got all the dust out. but once that part was done, my teeth felt surprisingly, normal. when i mentioned this to the assistant she said, "it is surprising! it's because the attachment material isn't bulky, like brackets are." and that really made sense to me.

then my orthodontist came over, looked my teeth over to make sure all the material was off and then he did the final filing. evening out my teeth, it's called "hollywood" where they take off the sharp tips and such. yes, i could've said "no, leave them." but him filing the sharp tips off it actually fixed the incisor that was missing the corner. he filed them so they were even. it was really just on the top, and i think if i had asked, he could've also filed my incisors to be sharper, but i'm okay with them looking even and not sharp bc at this point, my incisors wouldn't be sharp anyway, they would be worn down anyway.

after that, i got scanned for my retainers, we did after pictures and x-rays. then it was time for the big reveal, i was shown my new teeth for the first time! i was very shocked at how they didn't look too different, since i got to see my teeth the whole time, BUT she showed me my before pictures and wow! i didn't think my bottom teeth were THAT bad and i didn't think my front tooth was sticking out that much, but the pictures don't lie. anyway, after that the staff came over to congratulate me 😁 i got a box of goodies that i wasn't allowed to eat when i had my invisalign.

at my wednesday appointment, i got my retainers! they were tight, which meant my teeth had started to shift and it wasn't that long from the time i didn't have a tray in, to when i got them (about 72 hours total), which motivates me more to wear them. for anyone who doesn't know, your teeth continue to shift and move throughout your life, even after braces. so when your orthodontist gives you a retainer, you wear that shit for the rest of your LIFE. my retainers are clear, like my invisalign trays, but a much sturdier material. my bottom retainer is currently different, made of a heavier material to make sure my bottom teeth don't move at all. the assistant explained that they've noticed when they don't use this material for patients that have a lot of initial crowding with invisalign that the teeth still shift back a little even with a retainer, so they use this heavier material for the first 8 weeks and then change to the standard material.

speaking of, i wear my retainers 24/7 for 8 weeks, except for when i'm eating and drinking anything that isn't water. i go back in july for a retainer check-in to make sure my retainers fit properly and if my bottom teeth are doing good, i'll get a new bottom retainer that's the same material as my top retainer. i'm not sure if i'll have another settlement period for my molars yet, but i'll find out in july! but if all goes well, i only have to wear my retainers at night after that. and i'll continue to wear them at night, every night until my orthodontist tells me otherwise.

for now, this is my final update and the end of my invisalign journey. it was fun, informative, and surprising! i also want to say, it's never too late in life to get braces or to get your teeth straightened if you want! i am so in love with my teeth now and i can't stop smiling. i was actually scrolling through my instagram and before getting my invisalign, i never smiled showing my teeth. my final pics of my teeth after these appointments are the first pictures on my instagram where i'm showing my teeth. and even when i send snaps now, i smile with my teeth showing. i wouldn't say that my straight teeth have boosted my confidence, but i am so happy with my teeth now, i can't help but show them off!

anyway, i hope you have a good week! make good choices, stay safe out there, and stay hydrated my friends! 🩵