#the way she rolled up to his house and is tearing his life apart YEAH!!!!! GET HIS ASS LEORA!!!!

[attanos]

raphael: me and yurgir are gonna kill you, you indolent rat!!!!

leora, rolling a nat 20 persusasion: hi yurgir :3

yurgir: :)

[vunblr]

The Weight of Choices

Pairing: Ex-husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ only. Smut. Unprotected sex, dirty talk, slight dom! Bucky. A little angst.

Summary: Torn between his instinct to protect his family and his desire to be a part of their lives, Bucky tries to deal with the reality of his ex-wife going on a date while he stays home caring for their son.

Word Count: About 8.9k.

He was late. If Y/n didn’t know better, she’d think he was doing it on purpose. Bucky had agreed to watch their son tonight so she could go on a date, the third one since their divorce two years ago. The last couple of times, she’d managed to find a friend to babysit, but Saturday nights were always tough. So in the end, she had no choice but to come clean and ask Bucky.

She could still hear his voice from that awkward phone call, his tone edged with surprise when she’d told him she had plans.

“A date?” he repeated, the edge of disbelief hard to miss.

"Yeah," she’d replied casually, but Bucky’s silence lingered longer than usual. He hated texting, so phone calls had become their norm, even for the smallest of things.

“With who?” His attempt to sound nonchalant fell flat, the tension threading through every word.

“Chris,” she said, keeping her tone light, “You know, the music teacher at the kindergarten where I work? Blonde, easy smile... we walked past him once when he was out with his dog, Dodger.”

Bucky scoffed, the bitterness in his voice unmistakable. “I knew it. I knew he had a thing for you.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Oh, please.”

“Every time I’d drop by the kindergarten, he’d just… linger. His eyes followed you the whole time like he couldn’t look away. People don’t stare like that unless they’re thinking something. And the way he’d smile, all soft and attentive, he was trying too hard to be just a ‘friendly co-worker.” His voice had dropped a notch, irritation creeping in.

“Are you serious?” she shot back, incredulous. But Bucky wasn’t done.

“How long’s this been going on?” The question came out more like an accusation.

“It’s our first date. You know I only recently started dating again,” she replied, her patience wearing thin.

He paused, clearly unsatisfied. “So what, he’s just been waiting for his chance, ready to pounce-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, James,” she interrupted, her tone firm. “You’re not entitled to know anything about my love life the moment you decided you wanted the divorce.”

There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. She could hear him breathing, the tension stretching between them, until finally, he sighed.

“You’re right,” he admitted quietly. “I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’ll take care of Benjamin on Saturday night.”

The recall of the conversation was interrupted by Ben, who wanted to show her what he did with his Legos.

Bucky had been sitting in front of the house for half an hour now. Sometimes, like tonight, he regretted what he’d done, but deep down, he knew it had been necessary. After the terrifying incident when Hydra agents attempted to kidnap their son, hoping to test if any of the serum’s powers had been passed down genetically, he realized that his past would eventually catch up with them. He had to make sure they were safe, even if it meant tearing apart everything they’d built.

He knew she wouldn’t understand if he told her the truth. If he had laid out his fears and his guilt and spiraled into a self-deprecating parade like he always did, she would have fought him and convinced him to stay. So he waited.

He knew the only way to make her believe it, was to weave in just enough truth to his argument, so, slowly he began pulling away, setting the stage for what would be his ultimate break. Late nights, distant conversations, an almost non-existent sexual life and missed moments with their son, all led to this. He needed her to see that the life they had wasn’t something he could carry anymore.

When the moment came, he didn’t hesitate. He told her he felt suffocated by their life together. That the roles of husband and father were more than he could bear after everything he had been through. She didn’t believe him at first, and he could see the determination in her eyes, the will to fight for what they had.

So, he played the card he knew would make her stop fighting him. He spoke of the years he’d spent as a puppet, how he had never truly known freedom, never had control over his life. He appreciated everything she had done for him, all the love and support she had given, but it wasn’t enough. He needed air, space to figure out who he was beyond the roles he had been forced into. He made it sound like staying with her, staying in the family they’d built, was just another form of captivity.

It crushed her. Bucky could see the moment her resistance faded. She believed him, not because she wanted to, but because he made it seem so real. So she stood there, heartbroken, but unable to argue against the logic he’d presented.

The first months after the divorce were hard on both parts. For her, that time was the hardest, filled with sleepless nights and the nagging feeling that Bucky had simply abandoned her, walked away from their life, their love, without a second thought. She wrestled with the confusion and the heartbreak, trying to piece together where things had gone wrong. For Bucky, it was a different kind of suffering. He bore the weight of his decision in silence, knowing he had walked away to protect them, but that didn’t ease the sting of loneliness or the guilt that gnawed at him.

Their lives moved on separately. They saw each other only in passing, and even that was rare. Bucky would pick up Benjamin directly from daycare once a week, dropping him off the next morning before heading back to his life, careful to avoid lingering long enough for awkward conversations. Sometimes he didn’t make it at all, missing his time with his son when missions pulled him away. Immersing himself in his work was easier than facing what he had left behind, the family he still wanted but couldn’t allow himself to have. Meanwhile, she did her best to create some normalcy for Benjamin, even as the space Bucky left behind echoed through their small home.

Even though their lives had drifted apart, Bucky never truly let go. He kept his distance, but never far enough to lose sight of them. Unbeknownst to her, he knew everything that went on in the household, the daily rhythms of their life, the way she struggled and adapted to her new normal without him. From the shadows, Bucky lurked unnoticed in the neighborhood, always keeping an eye on them. She never noticed, never had a clue that even when he was away on missions, he somehow knew when Benjamin caught a cold or when she had a rough day at work.

It was a secret vigil that gave him a twisted sense of comfort, knowing they were safe even if they no longer shared the same home. He would catch fleeting glimpses of her tucking their son into bed or hear his faint laughter playing in the yard. It was enough to remind him of what he’d lost, but not enough to bring him back to the life he believed he couldn’t have.

That was why Bucky was caught off guard when she mentioned her date with that guy, the music teacher. He never saw that coming. He had always known the man had a soft spot for her, could see it in the way he acted whenever she was around, how he lingered a little longer during pick-ups at the kindergarten, helping to manage the children even if it wasn’t his job, always with an excuse to retain her and talk. His body language was an open book. But back then, Bucky had dismissed him as harmless, barely giving him a second thought. To him, Chris had always been like a friendly Labrador: approachable, with no bite. A non-threat.

But now, that harmless Labrador had grown fangs. The guy wasn’t just hanging around the edges anymore; he was stepping in, taking her to dinner, moving into a space Bucky had once occupied. And he had no choice but to suck it up and watch it happen, watch her walk out the door with him. He could handle the distance, the brief moments of tension when they had to interact, but this? The idea of Chris sitting across from her at a candlelit table, making her laugh, holding her gaze... it twisted his guts.

And God knows what else would happen after dinner. Would Chris try to kiss her goodnight? Would she let him? Or worse, would they end up back at his place? His mind ran wild with the possibility of them taking things further, crossing a line he never wanted to imagine. Would she let him touch her in ways Bucky used to, let him see sides of her only he had known? He knew he had no right to feel this way, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from torturing him.

Eventually, he glanced at the clock and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. There was no point in torturing himself any further, he couldn’t postpone the inevitable any longer.

Reaching the front porch, Bucky hesitated for a moment. He straightened his posture adjusting his clothes, then knocked on the door. As he waited, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to shake off the tension.

When the door finally swung open, for a split second, neither of them spoke. Her eyes widened just a little, her lips parting as she took him in. It had been a long time since she’d seen him. His hair had grown back to shoulder length, a few strands falling loose across his forehead. A three-day stubble sharpened his jawline, in a way that made him look rugged and effortlessly handsome. And was he wearing that shirt? The red and black lumberjack one that used to drive her wild?

Bucky caught her reaction and hit him like a shot of adrenaline. When he exited the bathroom that night and picked what to wear, he told himself it was just practical, something comfortable to wear while watching and playing with Ben. The cologne? Just a habit. But deep down, a part of him knew the truth: he wanted her to notice, and that split-second when her eyes widened, scanning him from head to toe, told him everything. She noticed. She definitely noticed. And something about that felt like a victory, even though he wasn’t supposed to be playing that game anymore.

He stared at her longer than necessary, his blue gaze drifting over the black dress she wore. New, he realized. It hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating her curves in a way that was impossible to ignore. The hemline? Too short for his liking. He clenched his jaw slightly, knowing full well Chris would be thrilled to see her like this.

Forcing himself to snap out of it, Bucky cleared his throat and broke the silence. “Hey,” he said, his voice low and calm, though the tension still simmered beneath the surface. “You look... good.” He meant it, but the words tasted bitter.

"Thanks," she said, her tone polite but distant, deliberately choosing not to compliment him back. She lingered for a moment, then added, “You’re late.”

Bucky flinched inwardly at the remark, though he kept his expression neutral. "Traffic," he muttered, stepping inside as she moved aside to let him in. An awkward silence settled between them, the air thick with things left unsaid.

Her fingers toyed with the edge of her dress as she cleared her throat, trying to fill the silence. “Ben is in the bathroom,” she said, her voice casual, but there was a tension beneath it. “You can wait for him in the living room.”

“Right,” Bucky replied, nodding stiffly. He walked past her and into the living room, the space feeling both familiar and foreign at the same time. He took a seat, trying to shake off the strange energy between them, but his mind kept wandering back to the fact that she was dressed for someone else.

A moment later, the doorbell rang, and she turned toward the sound, visibly relieved. She opened the door, and Bucky heard Chris’s voice, a cheerful greeting that she surely responded to with a soft, warm smile. Bucky didn’t need to see it, her tone was different with him, softer, more open.

“Hey,” Chris said, his voice bright, though there was a subtle shift when he paused. There was a beat of silence before he added, “You look amazing.”

Bucky couldn’t help it. Something pulled him from the couch, and before he knew it, he was standing in the hall, watching the interaction from a few feet away. His eyes narrowed as he observed Chris, sizing him up instinctively. Chris was taller than he remembered, clean-cut in a casual but neat button-down shirt, his easy smile faltering just a fraction when his eyes darted past her, catching sight of Bucky standing there.

Chris’s brows furrowed, but he quickly masked his reaction, giving Bucky a curt nod. “Uh, hey,” he greeted awkwardly, glancing between them.

It was her turn to narrow her eyes. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw him. Bucky stood at the edge of the hallway, staring directly at Chris, his expression unreadable. His eyes locked onto the man without blinking. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t saying anything, just staring.

Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. Really? A display of male dominance, here and now? After everything he’d put her through, the mess he’d made of their lives, he suddenly decided he had the right to act territorial? What exactly did he think he was entitled to? The nerve of it sent a wave of irritation through her, tightening her grip on her coat.

But what frustrated her even more -what really troubled her- was that a part of her didn’t mind. Beneath her annoyance, something stirred, deep and undeniable, lurking just beneath the surface. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but his presence still had a hold on her. Maybe it didn’t bother her as much as she wanted to believe. Maybe, despite everything, there was still a part of her that reacted to him, to the way he watched her, the way he used to make her feel like the center of his world.

Before those feelings could rise any further, before she could let herself dwell on what they meant, she quickly turned back to Chris. She forced a bright smile, pushing away the conflicted thoughts swirling in her mind.

“We should get going,” she said, her voice light, pretending not to notice the tension still hanging in the air. She stepped closer to Chris, signaling it was time to leave, hoping to put some distance between her and the weight of Bucky’s gaze.

As the door clicked shut behind them, Bucky stood frozen in place for a moment, the tension that had gripped him not easing, even with their absence. The quiet of the house felt heavier now, pressing down on him. His chest tightened as he stared at the closed door, half-expecting her to walk back in. Of course, she didn’t.

His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he replayed the scene in his head: her standing there, beautiful and confident, and Chris… that guy was so normal, so easygoing. Exactly what she deserved. Exactly what Bucky could never be. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling to the surface. What was he even doing? He had no right, he was the one who walked away. He was the one who made her believe she wasn’t enough to keep him, that he wanted out. And now, here he was, silently raging because she was moving on, exactly like he supposedly wanted.

Stupid. That was the only word he could come up with to describe how he felt. Stupid for showing up looking the way he did, stupid for thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could still affect her. But what for? His job was to protect her and their son from the shadows, not to stand in the doorway, playing the part of some jealous lover. But God, it hurt more than he expected.

He crossed the living room, his steps heavy against the floor, and slumped into the couch. The house was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of the TV in the background. Ben was still in the bathroom, probably playing with the liquid soap and making a mess, unaware of the tangled web of emotions his father was caught in.

The hours slipped by, though Bucky barely noticed at first. Benjamin was beyond excited to have his dad all to himself for the evening. They played, joked, and built elaborate lego fortresses, the boy’s laughter filling the house with a warmth Bucky hadn’t realized he missed so much. For a little while, he was able to shove everything else to the back of his mind. Being a dad, just a dad, felt like a relief. But every now and then, his gaze would drift to the clock on the wall. He couldn’t help it. As much as he tried to stay in the moment with his son, there was a lingering pull, a constant, nagging thought of where she was.

After he’d put Ben to bed, Bucky’s mind wandered back to the date. The image of her in that black dress haunted him, the way Chris had looked at her, the possibility of what might have happened after dinner. His thoughts spiraled, even though he knew it was none of his business anymore. He poured himself a scotch, the amber liquid swirling in his glass as he tried -and failed- to push the thoughts aside.

Eventually, the sound of the front door opening cut through the quiet. The familiar click of her shoes against the entryway tile echoed through the house, sharp and distinct. She was home.

Bucky didn’t move. He stayed where he was, seated at the old teakwood table, nursing his scotch. The only light on in the house was the dim glow above the kitchen, so she’d find him.

The sound of her footsteps grew closer, and he listened intently, his heart beating just a little faster despite his best efforts to keep calm.

She entered the kitchen, her steps a little less steady than usual, mumbling a soft “Hi” as she made her way inside. Bucky glanced up, immediately sensing that she was a little tipsy. She didn’t meet his eyes, just plopped down in the chair next to him with a tired sigh. “God, my feet are killing me,” she muttered, kicking off her heels and wincing.

For a while, the silence stretched between them, broken only by the distant hum of the fridge. She sighed absentmindedly, then reached for his glass of scotch, taking a sip without asking. He was taken aback by the casual intimacy of the gesture, but he said nothing, just watched her as she leaned back in her chair.

Before he could stop himself, the words slipped out. “Want me to rub your feet?” He froze. He couldn’t believe he’d said it, half-expecting her to snap at him or give him one of her sharp retorts.

But instead, she surprised him. She looked over at him, her eyes tired but soft, and then shrugged. “Yeah...” she said, her voice a little more relaxed than he expected.

Bucky blinked, caught off guard by her response. His heart thudded against his ribcage as he moved toward her, kneeling down in front of her chair. His fingers hovered hesitantly over her ankle before gently wrapping around it, lifting her foot onto his knee.

As he began to knead his thumbs into her sore muscles, the tension that had been brewing in him all night seemed to ease, just a little. Her head lolled back against the chair, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this, touching her again in this way, after everything. He shouldn’t, but she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seemed to relax more as the seconds passed, letting her guard down in a way that felt dangerously familiar.

“So... how was the date?” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost too casual as he broke the silence.

Her eyes fluttered open at the question, and for a moment, he thought she might brush him off or remind him that it wasn’t his business. But instead, she gave a small shrug, her tone indifferent. “It was fine.”

Bucky frowned slightly, pressing his thumbs a little harder into the arch of her foot. He wasn’t sure if it was frustration or something else pushing his hands. “Fine?” he echoed, trying to keep his voice even.

“Yeah,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Her voice was soft, almost distracted. “Just... fine.”

He wasn’t satisfied with that. He couldn’t help himself, he pressed, his tone still light but with a thread of tension beneath it. “Only... fine?”

She sighed, her eyes still closed as if trying to keep the conversation from getting deeper. “What do you want me to say, Bucky?” Her voice wasn’t sharp, but there was a subtle edge in her words. “That it was amazing? That he swept me off my feet? Some dirty little details?”

Bucky’s fingers stilled for a moment, resting against her foot as he met her gaze. He didn’t respond right away, unsure if he even wanted to hear the truth, whatever it might be. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, his voice a little more vulnerable than he intended.

“It was just fine, nothing more, nothing less”

A silence settled between them, but he wasn’t ready to let it drop. “Are you going to see each other again outside work?” he ventured, his hands slowly moving up her shin, his touch hesitant but growing bolder. The fact that she didn’t push him away emboldened him further. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Bucky’s hands continued their slow ascent, fingers brushing over her calf and then her knee, his touch firm but careful. When she didn’t pull away, he felt his pulse quicken. The silence stretched between them, thick with the weight of things unsaid.

“In a way,” she finally answered, her voice elusive, a touch distant. She shifted slightly in her chair, subtly parting her thighs as his hands wandered higher. The movement was small, but enough for him to catch it. His breath hitched, and his gaze flicked down to her legs before rising back up to her face, darkening with lust.

"Care to... elaborate?" he pressed again, his voice lower now, rougher. His fingers slid up to her inner thigh, lingering there with a possessive grip as if testing her reaction. Her legs instinctively spread wider beneath his touch, and that simple motion sent a rush of heat through him.

She shifted slightly, as if searching for the right words. "He’s... nice," she finally said, her voice a bit breathless under his touch. "He’s thoughtful, considerate, makes me laugh…” Her lips twitched in a small smile, but it quickly faded as she looked down at his hand resting on her thigh. “He’s... good.”

Bucky’s thumb paused, pressing a little harder, as he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a murmur. “…And?”

She sighed, her eyes opening again to meet his intense gaze. “And… he’s not you.”

His grip on her thigh tightened involuntarily, his breath catching in his throat. He’d pushed her away, done everything he could to sever the ties between them, convinced himself it was for her protection. But now, hearing her admit that, it sent his head spinning.

“He’s not you.”

The room seemed smaller, the air heavier, as the tension between them crackled like electricity. His hand inched higher, dangerously close to where he could feel the heat radiating off her body. Every instinct in him screamed to close the distance, to take what he wanted, to forget everything that had led them to this point. But he forced himself to stop, his gaze locking onto hers, searching her face for any sign that she would tell him to stop.

She didn’t. Instead, she held his gaze, her breathing shallow as if waiting to see what he would do next.

Bucky’s grip tightened again. Fuck it. He leaned forward, pressing his face against her other inner thigh, his stubble grazing her skin as he inhaled her scent deeply, a growl rumbling in his chest. She tensed, feeling him nip gently at her sensitive flesh, and then a slow, deliberate lick followed, sending a shiver through her.

"Did he behave, or..." he paused, his tongue teasing the same spot before he looked up at her, his lips brushing her thigh as he continued, "...things got handsy?"

A gasp escaped her when she felt his mouth so dangerously close to where she wanted it most. Her head tilted back just slightly, her body betraying her as desire pooled in her belly. His eyes flicked up, meeting hers, their blue depths darkened with lust, and something more. His lips remained pressed against her skin, refusing to budge until he had his answer.

"You let him touch you?" His voice was a husky whisper, laced with jealousy.

She exhaled slowly, her breath shaky as the memory flickered through her mind. "Yes," she admitted, her voice low, reluctant. "But just briefly, when we ki—"

Before she could finish, Bucky’s hand shifted, moving up to cup her mound, his fingers pressing firmly against the damp fabric of her underwear. Her words died in her throat, a sharp intake of breath replacing them as his touch ignited a fire that spread through her veins. His hand was deliberate, unapologetic in the way it claimed her, the heel of his palm pressing against her pussy as if he had every right to be there.

"And then?" His question hung in the air, but she couldn’t find the words immediately.

Her lips parted as she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to feel something... but I didn’t. I just didn’t."

Her confession landed between them like a spark to dry wood, setting the tension ablaze. Bucky’s hand remained where it was, but his thumb stroked over the wet fabric, teasing her, testing her resolve as his gaze bore into hers. She had said what he needed to hear, what he craved to know, and now, there was no turning back.

Bucky’s thumb slid the fabric of her underwear aside, his fingers unhesitating as they slipped between her folds, finding her slick with need. He brushed upward, just barely grazing her clit, watching with dark, heavy-lidded eyes as she gasped at the contact. Her body arched involuntarily, but he didn’t relent, keeping his movements slow and deliberate, teasing her just enough to drive her crazy but not enough to give her what she craved.

“And…” his voice was low, rasping against the tension between them, “how long did it take you to realize you’d had enough? That it wasn’t going to work?”

His thumb circled lazily, making her hips shift forward, chasing the friction he barely offered. The question hung in the air, laced with his possessiveness, through every word. He didn’t wait for an answer, his fingers delving deeper inside her, coating themselves in her arousal before they moved back up, brushing over her clit again, this time with more pressure.

"One kiss?" His lips curled in a half-smirk as he watched her face contort with pleasure. He dipped his fingers inside her again, slow, dragging them out just as leisurely. "Two?"

She trembled, unable to form a coherent response, the sensation of his touch overwhelming her senses after so long. Her breath hitched as his fingers increased their pace, every stroke purposeful, designed to unravel her. Bucky leaned upward, his lips brushing the shell of her ear as he murmured, “How long, doll?” The way he said it, like a dare, made her heart race even faster.

Her head fell back, her body betraying any attempt at control as she whispered breathlessly, “One…”

A satisfied growl rumbled from him, his fingers rewarding her honesty with a firmer stroke, sending her spiraling closer to the edge.

It wasn’t fair. He had cast her aside, almost without looking back, tearing her world apart with his cold departure. And now here she was, grinding her pussy against his fingers like some desperate, needy whore, begging for more. A part of her wanted to slap him, to shove him away and scream at him for every sleepless night she spent wondering why she wasn’t enough, why he had thrown their life away so easily. She wanted to tell him how much she hated him for walking out on them.

But then, there was that traitorous side of her. The part that had never stopped hoping. The part that had always waited, held out some foolish, silent hope that he’d come back. That she’d see that flicker of warmth in his eyes again, the one that told her she was his entire world. And it wasn’t just her heart that longed for him, her body had missed him, too. She hated herself for it. For still thinking about him late at night when she touched herself, fingers slipping between her thighs as his name slipped from her lips in the darkness.

And that same traitorous side of her had ruined her date with Chris. She’d tried to be present, to laugh, to be charmed by his warm smile and thoughtful gestures. But all night, all she could think about was Bucky.

The way he’d looked at him, cold and assessing, as if he didn’t belong there, his presence filling the hallway like he still had some claim to it, to her. What was he trying to prove, anyway? That he was still the man of the house?

She hated how, even while Chris was talking, her mind drifted back to the feeling of Bucky’s fingers tracing his stupid shirt, her memory filling in the rough, familiar feel of his hands on her skin. And she knew, even if she couldn’t admit it aloud, that some part of her had wanted him to see her dressed up, to feel in some small way the longing and ache she’d carried in his absence.

And maybe that’s why she’d felt nothing when Chris had leaned in for a kiss, why his gentle smile and soft touches had felt hollow. Even his laugh, light and kind, hadn’t stirred her because it wasn't Bucky’s rough, rumbling chuckle or his stupidly confident grin. Bucky, in all his infuriating ways, still occupied every corner of her mind.

Her breath came in shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly as his fingers worked her closer to the edge. She wanted to be angry, to let that rage consume her, but every time she opened her mouth to say something hurtful, to lash out at him, her body betrayed her. Every roll of her hips against his hand, every needy whimper that slipped from her throat, reminded her of just how much she had missed this.

It wasn’t fair. But she couldn’t stop.

With a light pinch on her swollen clit, the tension snapped, and she came hard on his fingers. Her mouth fell open, a moan escaping as her body convulsed, riding the wave of pleasure that coursed through her. The world blurred around her as her climax took over, her hips grinding against his hand, chasing every last second of the release.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, a mix of the overwhelming pleasure and the emotional storm swirling inside her. A few finally escaped, rolling silently down her cheeks, but before she could turn away, Bucky was there, his lips brushing them away with surprising tenderness. His breath ghosted over her skin as he whispered soft, comforting words she could barely make out, something about how beautiful she was, how good she had been for him, as if they hadn’t been tangled up in all this pain and heartache.

His touch was almost reverent as he slowly withdrew his fingers, slick and glistening from her release. Their gazes met, and he didn’t break eye contact as he brought those same fingers to his mouth, licking them clean with deliberate, agonizing slowness. He stood up in one fluid motion, effortlessly lifting her from the chair by the waist as if she weighed nothing, and in a swift, controlled movement, he placed her on top of the table, positioning himself between her legs.

Before she could even process it, his arms were around her, pulling her into a bear hug that was both tight and needy. His face buried itself in the crook of her neck, his breath warm against her skin as he inhaled deeply, taking her in.

He held her as if letting go was not an option, his grip firm yet strangely vulnerable. The way he clung to her felt like both a claim and an apology, urgent -almost broken- like he was holding onto her not just physically, but emotionally, too.

“Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll leave,” he murmured against her skin, his voice rough and low, the words vibrating against her neck. He didn’t dare look at her, not yet, because if he did, if he saw doubt or rejection in her eyes, it would break him.

Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Each second felt like an eternity. His breath was uneven, ragged, as he waited for her to say something, anything. Another moment passed, tension coiling tighter in his chest until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted his head, his gaze searching hers, bracing himself for the worst. But instead of the words that would send him away, he saw her eyes flicker downward to his lips. It was brief, a split-second decision, but it was enough.

So he leaned in, cautiously at first, like he was testing the waters after years of distance. His lips brushed against hers softly, almost hesitant, as if afraid this fragile moment would break apart. But the second she responded, it was like a dam broke. His hands cradled her face, deepening the kiss with desperation. It was messy, all-consuming, there was no gentleness, no tenderness. This was not the careful, delicate dance of two people testing the waters. This was hunger, a ravenous need to reclaim what had been lost. His lips moved down to her jaw, her neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, and she moaned softly, her fingers tightening in his hair as he sucked on the sensitive skin below her ear.

His hands gripped her waist, strong and possessive, pulling her closer until her body was flush against his. The need to feel her, to claim her, was overwhelming. It was like two years of silence, longing, and frustration had ignited in an instant, everything that had been pushed down now surging forward, unstoppable.

“I’ll ask you again, babydoll. Are you sure you want this?” Bucky’s voice was thick with restraint, the tension in his muscles barely contained as he hovered over her, his breath hot against her neck. He was giving her one last chance to stop this, to pull away, even though every fiber of his being was screaming for her. But instead of words, her answer was a quiet, deliberate motion. Her hand slid between them, deftly unbuttoning his jeans, her fingers brushing against the outline of his erection.

A low growl escaped him, and his hand shot down to catch her wrist, halting her movements. His gaze met hers, dark and intense, his chest heaving with barely restrained desire. “I need you to say it,” he murmured, voice rough, on the edge of control.

“Yes,” she whispered.

That was all he needed.

Without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion, not bothering with the buttons, his muscles flexing as the fabric slid off. The moment his skin was free, he didn’t give himself time to think. His eyes locked on hers as he grabbed the neckline of her dress. With a sharp tug, the fabric tore easily under his grip, the sound of it ripping filling the air. The dress fell to her waist, exposing her bare breasts to his gaze.

“Hey! It was brand new, you know?” she protested.

“I noticed,” he replied, his fingers grazing the tattered edge of her dress. “But you didn’t buy it to wear it for me, did you?” His voice dropped, thick with jealousy as he alluded to her date with Chris. He dipped his head, his lips hovering just above her exposed skin, his breath warm against her chest. “I don’t want it on you”. He latched his lips onto her nipple, his tongue swirling with a hungry need, while his vibranium fingers pinched and teased her other breast. His breath was hot against her chest as he whispered between kisses, “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this... missed you.” His words came out rough, full of longing that he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Every night... thinking about touching you again. Tasting you. Making you come over my cock.”

Her body responded, arching into him. She bit her lip, trying to stifle a moan, afraid that maybe Ben could hear her, but it slipped out anyway.

His hands moved to her thighs, gripping them firmly as he let out a low growl. “I thought about this, over and over... how you’d feel under me, how you’d sound when I made you scream my name again.” His voice was thick, hoarse, as he tugged at her dress, tearing the fabric completely until it was nothing but rags on the floor. He didn’t stop there, his thumbs slipping under the waistband of her flimsy panties. With a swift tug, the seams gave way, tearing effortlessly in his hands. He brought the soaked cloth to his nose, inhaling deeply, groaning as if the scent alone was enough to drive him insane. “God, I’ve missed this,” he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers. He flicked his tongue against the ruined cloth, savoring the taste with a low, hungry growl.

Without warning, he tossed the panties aside. His hands moved quickly, unbuttoning what remained of his jeans and kicking off his shoes before sliding the denim and underwear down in one fluid motion. They hit the floor with a soft thud as he stepped toward her. “Tell me how much you missed me,” he demanded softly.

She stared at him, drinking him in. He looked leaner, his body sculpted in sharp lines of muscle. He’d lost weight, surely by going mission after mission mixed with his poor eating habits. He was never good at taking care of himself. She almost missed the small paunch he used to have these last years, the one he hated, but she’d loved to bite. There was something comforting about that softness, but now he was the embodiment of raw strength.

Her gaze drifted lower, lingering on the sight of his cock, standing at full attention. She swallowed. Apparently, her memories failed to measure up to reality. He was big, sure, she’d always known that, but this big? Her core tightened with need, clenching in raw anticipation.

"I missed you,” she breathed, her voice barely a whisper, laced with longing as her eyes lifted to meet his. “So much… you have no idea. God, you’ve ruined me.”

Her words shattered whatever restraint he had left. He’d imagined, countless times, that if this moment ever came, he’d take his time, savor her, and make it last. But now, faced with her beneath him, so close and so ready, patience was a luxury he no longer possessed.

Without a second thought, he gripped her thighs and spread her wide on the table, lining himself up as he dragged the head of his cock along her entrance, coating himself in her slick heat. In a swift, desperate thrust, he drove into her, hard and deep, filling her completely as a ragged groan escaped his lips.

She cried out, her body responding immediately, arching into him as he slammed into her again. His hands gripped her hips with bruising force, and his own moved in a relentless rhythm, every thrust driving him deeper. He couldn’t stop. Her moans spurred him on, her words circling in his head like a drug.

“Ruined you, huh?” His breath was ragged as he pulled almost all the way out, teasing her with the loss, before slamming back in. “Let me remind you how much.” With a raw hunger that had been bottled up far too long, Bucky's thrusts became brutal, each one driving her back along the table, her nails scraping against the wood as he took her over and over. The grip on her hips was iron-hard, pinning her down so she could do nothing but take everything he gave her. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear. “Think anyone else could ever do this?” he murmured, his voice dark and rough, each word punctuated by a powerful thrust. His lips ghosted along her jaw, and he pushed her to answer, knowing the effect he was having on her. “Tell me,” he demanded softly “Could anyone else make you feel like this?” He wanted her to say it, to make her admit that no one else would ever satisfy her the way he could.

She whimpered, clutching at his shoulders as he pounded into her, her nails digging into his skin as he pushed her higher and higher. “No… no one else.” Her words were broken, barely audible over her moans, but it was all he needed to hear.

“That’s right” he murmured against her lips, his voice low and rough, “No one else gets to touch you like this,” he breathed, each word laced with raw possession as he thrust deeper. “Only me,” he rasped. “Only I get to make you feel this way.”

He growled, one hand leaving her hip to slide between them, his fingers pressing down on her clit in quick, merciless circles. “This is mine,” he hissed, metal fingers working just enough to bring her close before pulling away, only to return just as she thought she couldn’t take any more.

She cried out, her body writhing beneath him as he drove her to the edge. His pace never faltered, his hips grinding against hers with a relentless rhythm, and his grip on her only tightened as she arched off the table, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.

"Say it," he demanded, his voice thick with lust and something darker, something possessive. His hands slid down the back of her thighs, pushing her legs up against her torso as he plunged deeper, she could barely breathe every time he bottomed out. The way he hit her, the pressure at her cervix, sent shockwaves of pleasure-pain coursing through her, each one making her mewl helplessly. Her thighs shook against his chest, her hands desperately clutching at his forearms, fingers digging into his skin.

He leaned in closer again, his face inches from hers, his lips brushing her ears as he growled, “Tell me you’re mine.”

"I’m yours… fuck, Bucky!" she complied, her voice breaking between her panting breaths.

"Again," he ordered, his hips slamming into hers, the table creaking under the force of his movements. He could feel her walls clenching around him, so tight, so wet, he almost lost control then and there.

“I’m yours,” she whimpered again, her voice shaky, breathless.

“Chris will be so disappointed to hear that” he growled. “Let’s make sure you stay ruined, just in case.” He was relentless now, fucking her hard, deep, his body pressing hers further into the table as he pushed her thighs harder against her body giving him even better access, hitting that sensitive spot that left her gasping, his grip and the relentless pace leaving no room for anything but the sensation of him filling her completely, over and over.

She whimpered in response, too overwhelmed to speak, her entire body tensing as the pleasure became almost unbearable. His thumb moved between them again pressing against her clit, rubbing circles that sent sparks of heat shooting through her. She gasped, her eyes squeezing shut as her orgasm built rapidly, her body teetering on the edge.

“Milk my cock.” he ordered, his voice harsh, primal. His words pushed her over the edge and then she was gone, her body shivering violently as she clenched around him, her thighs tightening around him as her hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer. The sound of his name fell from her lips, half-whisper, half-cry as the climax gripped her, intense and all-consuming, leaving her a trembling, breathless mess.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he growled through gritted teeth, his hips snapping into hers with bruising force. “And then some more,” he rasped, his voice thick with raw need. “You won’t even be able to keep it all in, babydoll.”

With a final thrust, Bucky’s head fell back, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as he reached his climax. His body trembled, muscles tensing as he spilled himself inside her, a heated wave of release filling her completely. He held her there, his cock kept pulsing until his release overflowed, warm and thick, beginning to trickle down, pooling beneath them.

Still buried inside her, Bucky loosened his grip on her thighs, hands sliding down to cradle her waist as he leaned forward, his forehead resting gently against her shoulder. He nuzzled into the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent, grounding himself as the heat of their union slowly ebbed, replaced by a quiet intimacy that neither of them seemed prepared for.

After a moment, he gently eased himself away, untangling their bodies but letting his hands linger at her hips, as though afraid to lose the connection. He took a step back, his gaze dropping for a moment before lifting to meet hers, hoping she’d break the silence but she didn’t look at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

Bucky’s chest tightened, a familiar pang surfacing as he watched her withdraw inward, her mind elsewhere despite the intimacy they’d just shared. Finally, she spoke, her voice low, tentative. “So… what now, Bucky?”

He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I don’t… I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he forced himself to hold her gaze. “I know I shouldn’t have done this. Not after…” He hesitated, but the truth slipped out anyway. “Not after what I put you through.”

Her eyes narrowed, suspicion clouding her expression, old wounds resurfacing. “Then why did you put me through this, Bucky?” she asked, her voice soft but laced with pain. “You said you couldn’t do this. That you needed space, that we were holding you back.” Her words hung heavy in the air, each one a quiet accusation tinged with vulnerability. “And now, you’re here, acting like…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “…acting like you never left.”

He hesitated, knowing this was his chance to finally tell her the truth or let her keep believing the lie he’d used to protect them. He rubbed a hand over his face, then lowered it, meeting her gaze with raw honesty. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “I left because I was afraid that my past... everything I tried to bury might come back to hurt you. Hurt him.” His voice softened. “I thought if you believed I didn’t want this life, it would keep you safe.”

He glanced down, his hand twitching at his side before he looked up again, his voice hushed but resolute. "But… I want to come back,” he admitted, the words raw, like they’d been buried deep for too long. “To the house. To you, and Benjamin.”

A chill lingered in the air, and she wrapped her arms around herself, gaze flicking over their scattered clothes still strewn across the kitchen floor. She looked away, her shoulders tense as she rubbed her temples. "So, what’s changed, Bucky? The risks are still there, the same threats, the same fears..."

Bucky’s gaze didn’t waver, his hand reaching out as though to touch her, but he stopped short, fingers brushing the edge of the table instead. "What’s different is me. I’ve had time to face what I couldn’t before. Stepping aside didn’t keep you safer; it just kept me away. I don’t want Ben growing up with a dad who keeps him and his mom at arm’s length. Almost a stranger.” His voice softened, the vulnerability seeping through. “Being apart from you doesn’t make things better. I miss you, doll. I miss us.”

“You can’t just leave and come back like nothing happened, Bucky.” Her voice was softer this time, almost breaking. “I wanted you here… every day, every night. Not just for me, but for Benjamin.” Her voice trembled with raw vulnerability.

He took a step closer, his hand hovering near hers, unsure if she’d pull away. “I know, and I hate that I ever thought leaving was the answer.” His tone was low, his gaze steady on her.

She looked down, her throat bobbing as she swallowed, emotions tightening her expression. “If you come back, I need to know you’re here to stay,” she whispered, the words more for herself than for him. “Because I don’t think I can go through this again… and I won’t let him either.” Her voice cracked on the last word, her hands gripping the table harder as if to keep herself grounded.

Her words shattered the last remnants of his restraint. Without another thought, Bucky dropped to his knees in front of her, the hard tile digging into him as he pressed his forehead against her thigh. She sucked in a breath, her hand instinctively moving to his hair, fingers trembling as they brushed against him. He could feel her hesitation, the walls she’d built so carefully to guard herself from the ache he’d left behind.

“Say yes,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with the vulnerability he could no longer hide. “Say yes, doll. I know I don’t deserve it.” His hands gripped her hips, anchoring him as if she were the only thing keeping him steady. “But I swear,” His voice cracked, raw and pleading. “I swear, I’ll never walk away again. Not from you, not from Benjamin.”

She looked down, a mix of shock and pain written on her face as she saw him there, broken, open, begging her for something she’d once offered so freely. Her hand gently settled on his cheek, and he leaned into the warmth of her touch, feeling the softness of her fingers against the rough stubble of his jaw. The ache in her eyes nearly undid him, but he stayed there, his forehead still pressed to her thigh, his breath heavy, waiting.

Her eyes searched his, and slowly, her resolve began to waver, the smallest flicker of trust finding its way back into her gaze. "Then prove it," she whispered, barely trusting herself as her hand lingered against his cheek, the warmth of her palm seeping into him. "Show me you’re here to stay."

After her words hung in the air, a fragile silence between them, Bucky’s gaze dropped. He swallowed, his hand reaching for something inside the scattered clothes on the floor.

From his back pocket, he drew out a small, well-worn leather charm, a little star-shaped pendant, its edges smoothened from years of handling. She recognized it immediately. It was something she’d passed on to him when he left for his first mission after they married, a symbol she hoped would keep him safe. She thought it had been lost long ago, like so many pieces of them.

He held it out to her, and the look on his face was raw, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t seen since the early days. “I never stopped carrying this,” he murmured, his voice rough and thick. “Even when I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing by staying away. I couldn’t let go of you…of us. I kept it close, hoping… hoping someday I could come back and give it back to you. I know it doesn’t make up for the time I lost, but…” His voice faltered, the sincerity there unmistakable.

She stared at the pendant, her hand shaking slightly as she reached out, fingers grazing the familiar leather. All the memories it held, the late-night goodbyes, the whispered promises, the hope she’d once tied to it, all of it rushed back, filling the space between them.

She looked down at him, seeing in his eyes the weight of the years, the regrets, but also the glimmer of the man she’d fallen in love with.

Taking a shaky breath, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “This… this was supposed to keep you safe, Bucky. Keep us safe.”

“And it did,” he replied softly, his hand covering hers over the charm. “It kept you here.” He paused, his voice barely a murmur. “And maybe now… it can bring me back home.”

The last of her defenses wavered, and she felt herself letting go of the anger, the hurt, all the pieces that had kept them apart. “Maybe… maybe it was always meant to guide you back here,” she said softly, her eyes meeting his with a warmth he hadn’t seen in years. “So if you’re really here to stay… then welcome home, Bucky.”

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

[jpnriikicore]

── jolene, jolene

paring colby brock x fem!musican!reader, word count 574, genre angst, ( masterlist )

your coming back from the dance studio after hours of choreographing a new choreography for the bands comeback. as you walks into the trap house sam and corey gave you a weird look. that’s odd. you knew prank wars was going on between the members of the house. so, you didn’t think too much into it. maybe one of them locked you out of colby’s room. hell, maybe they pranked colby.

once getting close enough to colby’s room you hears a female voice inside. you puts your ear on the door to listen better. the females voice is was very familiar, but you couldn’t understand what they was saying the voices were muffled. most likely he was just talking to one of his friends on speaker phone. you opened colby’s bedroom door to only see a fucking nightmare. the familiar redheaded was jolene meadows one of five members who is in the girl band your apart of. she is extremely too close to her boyfriend for your liking. his shirt and her yellow sundress tousled on the floor. both their hair is disheveled. flustered. both of them are flustered. your eyes dart back and forth between the two. your heart fucking drops in realization.

"i’ll be moved out by today." you spoke cold heartedly, shutting the door behind you.

you had to be in a nightmare. a very realistic nightmare. really, jolene? you should have saw it coming. they make a good couple really. you just wished he had the manners to tell you he doesn’t love you anymore and wanted to see other people. just spare you and not waste your time any longer. wasted years for absolutely nothing. jolene acted like a friend for years. who knows how long this has been on? was you mad? no. was you disappointed? yes, because you wasted so much on him. the person you believe you was going to end up with. you spent countless of nights talking about marriage and kids with him. apparently, words mean nothing.

you hope that it was worth it. you wished them the best of luck even if they wasn’t dating you hope that they continue to live their best lives.

you continued to walk out of the trap house. you heard them yelling, but you ignored them. your mind racing more than it ever has. tears slowly started to form, but you refused to let your feelings get the best of you. you unlock and start to open your car door, but he was quicker. he shut the door and blocked your way to get into the car.

"it’s a prank."

you roll your eyes and scoff in disbelief. how stupid did he think you was? "yeah, sure." you glance over at jolene, who was now fully dressed and holding a camera.

"y/n, it’s a prank." you look into his eyes. his eyes don’t lie. well, not to you anyways. you’ve spent way to many hours learning how to read him like a book. his blue eyes were sucking you back in.

"no bullshit?"

"no bullshit."

you bend down with a hand on your heart. "holy shit, i thought i was losing the love of my life and one of my bests friends all at once."

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry." he apologized, as he engulfed you in a hug. he pressed a kiss on the top of your head.

"you better be." you mumbled into his chest.

© JPNRIIKICORE, 2023

[chrispotatos]

quit - chris sturniolo

summary: you had a stressful day at work so chris suggested you quit.

warning: none unless you're allergic to having chris as your bf.

a/n: i may or may not be projecting

a/n 2: i might only be able to write quick little stories like these then write smut and angst on the weekends because it takes me longer to write those generes than cute little fluffy shit.

my whole week was bad and it consisted of the same cycle on repeat work, eat nap. i could hardly see my boyfriend and my friends because of my busy schedule and when i wasn't with at work i was in my apartment trying to recollect myself.

today was friday and i promised chris i would come over to their house and stay till monday rolls around.

don't get my wrong i was itching to get there but i wanted peace and quiet. after all my social battery was drained and it felt like any minute i could cry if someone asked 'what's wrong' the feeling of taking my anger out on my friends and boyfriend because of a stressful day made my emotions subside by a little so something like that doesn't happen

i arrived and didn't hear anything i walked up the stairs and still no talking, laughing, nothing.

i took that as a sign they weren't here at all maybe they were filming. i leave chris a text letting him know im there.

i go down to his room and pick out some clothes that got cleaned from the last time i was here. the tub in nicks room was the only one that was here so i used it, putting in epsom salt and a bath bomb with a lack of scent so my headache doesn't get even worse.

when my bath was done i went to the kitchen and got ice cold water then headed back to his room.

i tried picking a movie but my thoughts flooded with what happend today and how my manager was yelling at me even though i was confused and needed clear instructions.

the thought made tear unwillingly fill my eyes and fall, it stung remembering the harsh words the way she made me feel small and disrespected.

i heard the triplets voices, slight bickering the front door closing after, i knew chris was gonna be coming to his room shortly after so i went under the blankets.

my predictions being correct the door to his room opened and he called for my name. i hummed as a response, that not being enough he came over to my side of the bed peeling the blankets off of my body.

"y/n, baby are you okay?" he asked worry coating his expression i cover my face crying more.

that question always tipped me over the edge "no im not okay, my boss- megan no maya i mean-" a frustrated grunt is all i could get out from all the clouded confusion. "it's ok take your time" he rubbed my arm being patient with me and thats what i needed right now.

"-my manager is a bitch and she was yelling at me. im tired and i don't wanna be mean but im so stressed out" i explained, it was more of a ramble with some words getting mixed together cause of the speed i was talking in.

"im so sorry" his arms wrapped around me, pulling me towards him, and rubbed my back while whispering comforting words to me, reassuring that everything will be all right.

"you should quit" he suggested i shook my head no, i couldn't quit it wasn't gonna work if i did my life would only get worse.

"no one should get treated that way especially you, you don't deserve that and it shouldn't have a toll on you. it's fucked up"

i draw back from the hug by a bit to see the sympathetic look on his face, he really felt bad for me and i know he couldn't wrap his head around why i wouldn't just quit if im being treated in such ways.

"it's not in my cards to just quit" he smiled unbeknownst of what he was thinking i reciprocated an awkward smile "I'll take care of you, you can move in with us" he stated it wasn't an offer he wanted me to do it.

"im not letting you do that" a humorless chuckle left my lips. chris wiped the tears that were left and kissed my forehead "yeah you will" he muttered giving me a endearing smile taking the glass of water off the night stand pressing the glass to my lips, i took a few sips then he put the glass back down and tucking me in.

"I'll come back in a few, i just need to talk with matt and nick real quick then take a shower and I'll be all yours for the rest of the day"

i nodded from where i was, snuggling into the blankets "love you y/n" he said on his way out even if he couldn't hear me i said it back.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

Sirius ignored the sick, twisted feeling in his stomach as he knelt down, cupping James’ face gently, hooking his fingers around his glasses.

“You’ve lost these, mate,” He said bitterly, pushing the glasses up James’ nose, his eyes hollow and lifeless.

James had always been life. Bright and burning and beautifully so, he had a way to draw attention, to light up the room, wherever he went; a charming smile, a joke that made everyone laugh. A loveable person — Sirius would know best.

James had always been life. Yet now, he was lifeless.

A tear rolled down his cheek. Then another, then another, a part of his soul lost and to never be found again. He pushed James’ curls behind his ears, and ruffled his hair the way he himself always did.

He wondered if it had hurt. If James had died in pain; he needn’t have wondered if he had died a noble death. He did, Sirius knew it; James, always noble, always chivalrous, always loved.

He wondered if Lily and Harry had escaped. If they had gotten the chance to get away and leave, escape and never look, never come back.

Soft cries echoed along the music box, a melancholic, grieving melody. Yet to Sirius, that was a sign that in the ruins, in death, there was life, still.

The stairs creaked under his weight as he pushed past the debris, past the fallen, past the doors and stairs, stumbling in his desperation as he pushed the ajar door open.

Lily lied on the floor, eerily peaceful, almost as if she was sleeping. Her auburn hair a halo around her head, her skin pale, a girl who had been once so fierce and alive reduced to nothing but silence. Sirius remembered the many times she had been loud, vivacious, charming, cheeky, perfect in her imperfections and mistakes; an intelligent girl that had turned into a beautiful, determined woman.

A home that had been so full of life, the ruins of a house so silent.

Harry’s cries snapped Sirius out of his trance, and he rushed to his side, gribbing the cot’s bars with his hands, so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Hey,” He whispered, letting out a small, relieved chuckle, “hey. You’re safe with me.”

Instinctively, Harry’s small hands reached out for his godfather, who cradled him to his chest, kissing his split forehead, a lightning bolt-shaped scar etched on his forehead. Harry pressed his cheek to Sirius’ shoulder, who knelt, for the last time, and closed Lily’s emerald green eyes.

Once so full of life, then so lifeless.

Sirius slipped past the bedroom, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb against Harry’s back as he slipped outside of the house.

Where the alleyway started stood Hagrid, his face covered by his giant palms, sobs rippling through his chest.

“Sirius!” He croaked. “Oh, Sirius, such a tragedy! They ‘ere such good people! Brightest of yer age, they were!”

Hagrid engulfed him in a hug and, with Harry to his chest still, Sirius finally allowed himself to soften, tears rolling down his cheeks. He sniffed, breaking apart from Hagrid after a few moments.

“’m sorry for yer loss,” The taller man said, bowing his head. “Must be really hard fer yeh.”

Sirius swallowed. “Yeah. But Harry needs me.”

“‘Arry’s coming with me,” Hagrid said, looking slightly confused.

“What? No. I’m his godfather, Hagrid. Lily and James wanted me, if something happened to them, to take care of him.”

“‘S Dumbledore’s orders, mate.” He looked down at Sirius. “‘E said ‘Arry’s coming with, then he is.”

Sirius frowned, rage boiling in his veins. “No. Hagrid, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of him myself. That’s how things will go, that’s what James and Lily wanted. I’m not going to leave Harry; not now, not ever.”

Hagrid bit his lip, deep in thought. “Leave ‘im with me, and you can come with and talk to Dumbledore later. He’ll tell you what to do.”

A thousand thoughts raced through Sirius’ head, until something finally clicked.

“Alright.” He said, gently placing Harry in Hagrid’s arms. He looked at his motorcycle, then back at the man. “Take it. You need it more than I do, either way.”

He nodded. “Yer a good guy, Sirius. Don’t let anyone make you forget that.” He sat down on the motorcycle, Harry safe by his heart.

“Press that button,” Sirius added, “and then the one next to it. Makes you be able to fly, and makes you invisible. Should make it easier for you to get to where you’re supposed to be.”

Hagrid thanked him. Sirius watched them take off into the night sky, then shoved his hand into his pocket, finding the all-too-familiar wood of his wand. Then, wordlessly, he Disapparated.

Peter fucking Pettigrew.

[sequinsmile-x]

Better

Ordinary.

The way her mother says it makes it sound like poison, like something that was infiltrating her life and tearing it apart from the inside out. An awful, ugly thing instead of the beautiful thing that tied her life together like the finest gold thread.

-x-

Hi friends,

If you haven't seen it, I've been getting more anon hate than usual recently, almost entirely around the fact pregnancy/Emily having a family with Aaron is a common them in my fics and how they hate that I write about it. Instead of just...seeing the tags and moving on they've been sending me anons criticising me for it. This culminated in me getting a message yesterday that sent me into orbit saying I was making Emily 'mediocre' by making her a mother like other 'mediocre' women.

(you can read the anon here if you haven't and want to it is WILD)

Now, whatever your feelings are about fanfic or characterisation of Emily, calling someone mediocre for their choices, implying that wanting whatever they want is bad, is ridiculous behaviour.

I've had a lot of feelings about it all day, and ending up writing this to get it out because that is how I process things.

As always, let me know what you think.

-x-

Warnings: Lots and lots of mommy issues

Words: 3k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

From the moment her mother had suggested it, Emily had wanted to get out of going to lunch. Elizabeth insisted that she came over to the event she was hosting with some of her old friends, claiming the other women hadn’t seen Emily in years and that they wanted to catch up. She’d struggled to come up with a good reason to get out of it, even praying for a case that meant she’d be out of stage, something Aaron had raised an eyebrow at.

“You’re praying someone has killed enough people that the team needs to get involved?” 

She’d rolled her eyes at him and huffed, all too aware that he was right, and she’d kissed his cheek as she left the house just before midday, her gaze lingering on him and the kids as they settled down to play their favourite game. 

Lunch was, overall, boring. It was a reminder of a life she’d left behind, the one she’d been born into where every word was carefully chosen yet most the time people said absolutely nothing at all. Their words meaningless, full of fluff and inflexions that she hated. False interest in each other's lives as they desperately waited for someone to ask about them. 

She barely says anything, slowly eating her salad and humming intermittently so it seems like she’s listening, until one of her mother’s friends, Carol, gets her attention. 

“So, what are you up to these days, Emily? Your Mother says you’re still working for the FBI?” 

Emily nods, “Yeah, I work for the Behavioural Analysis Unit, the BAU. My husband used to as well but he retired when our daughter was born three years ago.” 

It had been Aaron’s decision, a solution he’d come up with when they found out she was pregnant with Hazel. He’d been keen to do it, unmoveable in his insistence, his eyes bright and almost overflowing with desperation, as if this was his second chance to make the right decision for his family. She’d agreed, after some back and forth, a voice in the back of her head telling her she’d be a bad mom if she went back to work when she didn’t strictly need to, something Aaron and her friends had slowly talked her out of over the long nine months of her pregnancy. 

Leaving the FBI herself was something she considered again when she had Oliver only 8 months ago, but once again she’d stayed. Happy with the balance she’d created, the life she’d built around herself that let her be Agent Prentiss, a member of one of the most well respected teams in the FBI, and Emily, a wife and mother. 

“Oh yes,” Carol says, picking up her cup of tea, “You have children.”

“Three,” Emily says, her back straightening at something she picks up in the other woman’s tone, a little too close to judgment for her liking, “Jack, Hazel and Oliver.” 

“Lovely names,” Carol says, “Although I must say I was surprised when Elizabeth told us you’d settled down and had children, it wasn’t that long ago it looked like you’d be following in her footsteps and trailblazing yourself a career.” 

Emily frowns, her teeth clenched as she takes a second to calm herself down, “I do still have a career, I just happen to have children too.” 

“Yes well,” Carol says, waving her hand, “You know what they say - a jack of all trades, a master of none.” 

She scoffs, looking to her mother for support, immediately wondering why she thought she’d find it when Elizabeth avoids eye contact with her, a fake smile painted across her face as she stands up from the dining table, “I’ll go check on dessert.” 

Emily stays behind after the others leave, barely even attempting to be polite as she exchanges goodbyes with them. As soon as it’s just her and her mother she can’t help herself, the question escaping before she can ask herself if she would even get an answer she’d want. 

“Why didn’t you stand up for me when she was saying all those things?” She asks, her arms crossed over her chest as Elizabeth freezes and sighs. 

“I wasn’t going to cause a scene,” she says, standing up to walk over to the small bar cart in the living room, pouring herself a scotch, “And besides, she didn’t say anything rude.” 

Emily laughs, “She didn’t say anything rude? She basically said because I’m working and I’m a mom I’m not doing well at either of those things,” she scoffs and shakes her head, “She may as well have called me mediocre and be done with it.” There’s a pause, a flash of something across her mother’s face that she’s sure she wouldn’t have seen if she wasn’t so good at her job. For a moment, she wishes she wasn’t, that she didn’t feel the drop of her heart into her stomach as her arms fall to her sides, “Wait….do you agree with her?” 

Elizabeth stares at her for a second, as if weighing up her options, and she takes a sip of her drink, “Well, you did love to travel when you were younger, Emily. I always assumed you’d do a job that took you all over the world. It wasn’t until you started dating Aaron I ever thought you’d settle down and have an ordinary life.” 

Ordinary.

The way her mother says it makes it sound like poison, like something that was infiltrating her life and tearing it apart from the inside out. An awful, ugly thing instead of the beautiful thing that tied her life together like the finest gold thread. It was something she never thought she’d have. The house and the husband and the children. The cat that never used the cat flap they had installed, happy to curl up at the end of one of the kid's beds instead of ever venturing outside. The school drop-offs and the PTA meetings and the last-minute rush to the grocery store for ingredients for cooking class when Jack told them about it at the last possible second. It was normal, and ordinary and hers. And it was everything she had fought for. 

It was everything she had died for. 

Emily had let a lot slide over the last few years, let countless comments go about herself and sometimes even Aaron because Elizabeth loved her grandchildren. What she’d lacked in being a mother she made up for as a grandmother. She bought them gifts that they actually liked, she listened to them. On Hazel’s first birthday, she’d crawled into the playhouse they’d bought the little girl, acting so unlike herself that Emily had thought she was seeing things. She was grateful her children had someone else in their lives who loved them, so she put up with the fact her mother had never loved her like that. 

All of that disappears as Elizabeth’s words wash over her. A quiet, almost dull, confession that hangs in the air around them a bitter pill that erases any good nature Emily had for her mother. 

She chuckles humourlessly and shakes her head, turning away to wipe angry tears from her cheeks, “I’ve got to ask, Mother,” she says, turning back to look at her, her hands thrown up in defeat, “Why did you even have me? If you think me having children is so…ordinary, why did you have a kid?” 

Elizabeth sighs, her hands on her hips, “Emily-”

“Was it because it was what was expected? You and Dad weren’t as careful as you should have been? What was it?” She demands, not sure she even wants the answer, the sadness and fury rolling in her gut in a way that makes nausea burn up her throat. The silence they fall into is suffocating. Thick and cloying as it settles in Emily’s lungs, making it hard to breathe. She looks down at the floor, her arms tight over her chest as she presses her lips together, desperately trying to hold herself together, “I have a good life.” 

“I never said you didn’t,” Elizabeth says, “I only said I’d thought you’d make different choices.”

“Do you mean better?” Emily asks, her glare unrelenting, and Elizabeth simply looks away, her silence the only answer Emily needs. 

It seems ridiculous. Absurd in a way that makes her laugh, because she can’t imagine how life could be better. She knows that if she’d made different choices, if she’d taken Clyde up on his offer of a job and a new life she would have enjoyed it. She would have been fulfilled and happy but it would have been different to what she had now. Another life she’d now never know, something she couldn’t compare to the life she did have because it didn’t exist and never had. She had no regrets, could never regret even for a second choosing this over anything else. It was her life. Her beautiful, ordinary, life. 

Anger and sadness and everything in between swell in her gut again, making her stomach roll as she clenches her fists at her sides. The burn of her short nails into her palm is familiar, and for a moment she’s 12 years old standing opposite her mother in her office, her nails digging into her palms as she’s told off for not acting as she should have, for getting grass stains on a skirt that cost more than most people made in a month. She shakes it off, an unsteady breath caught in her chest as she’s brought back to the present, to standing in a room just down the hall from her mother’s office over 30 years older and somehow just as silently crushed as she had been when she was a kid. 

It was a feeling she’d promised herself she’d never inflict on her own children. A mantra that had started years before she had them, when she was just a kid herself with her hand pressed into her lower belly as the medication she’d been given by the doctor started to work. She’d be better. She told herself again and again that one day, when it was right, she’d be a mother and she’d be better. It’s a promise she made Declan when he slept up against her on the nights when Ian wasn’t there, his fear of his father pressed against her neck as he asked her if he was in trouble again. She makes the same promise to Jack when she realises she’s stepped into a maternal role in his life, her relationship with him so tied up in her relationship with Aaron that it feels like it happens overnight. She’d be better. She says it again to Hazel just a few hours after she’s born, and again with Oliver when she holds him for the first time. She’d be better.

She was better. She knew that. Her children ran towards her, not away, when they were sad or hurt or sick. They sought her out, snuck into her embrace at any given moment, slipping under her arm as she sat on the couch and they should already have been in bed. Aaron often joked he could disappear and no one would notice, something she���d always quickly refute, the idea of him not being right by her side enough to make her shudder. 

“Better than what? A man who loves me the way Aaron does? Than my children?” Her voice cracks and she clenches her teeth to try to steady her lower lip, “For the first time my life is normal, Mom. I go to work, I come home. I spend my evenings helping my kids with homework and driving them to recitals. And then I share a glass of wine with my husband because I’m still breastfeeding Ollie and don’t want to risk a whole glass. Then we get into bed and do it all over again the next day. It’s so ordinary it makes me ache sometimes because it’s all I ever wanted when I was growing up,” she growls in frustration when tears slip onto her cheeks and she wipes them away immediately, “My life might be small to you, but to me it’s perfect and I am the happiest I have ever been,” she swallows thickly, pushing down the emotions she refuses to set free until she’s home. Until she’s with her husband - the only person she’d ever truly feel comfortable falling apart in front of. “I’m going home.”

“Emily, there’s no need to be so upset,” Elizabeth says as Emily turns away, an edge of panic in her voice she had only heard a handful of times, “We can talk about this.” 

“No,” she refuses, already turning and walking away, “We can’t. I’m going home.” 

She’s proud of herself for making it to the car before the tears come in earnest, burning hot with fury as they leave what feels like permanent tracks on her skin.

___ 

She can’t bring herself to get out of the car. 

She sits on the driveway, still buckled long after she’s switched off the engine, her hands still tightly gripping the steering wheel. Even though she’s staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on the porch that she loves, she doesn’t see the front door open and her husband wander outside. It’s only when he lightly raps on the window, making her jump and pulling her out of her trance, that she realises he’s there. She unlocks the door but makes no other effort to move. He pulls it open and crouches down, his face level with hers. 

“Where are the kids?” She asks, her voice tight even to her own ears, any chance she has of insisting she is fine dead and gone before she can even try. 

“Ollie is napping,” he says, waving the baby monitor he has held in his hand, “Good thing we get reception out here. And Jack is showing Hazel how to play MarioKart.” 

She nods, her tongue pressed against the back of her teeth as she tries to hold herself together, her eyes already burning with tears because of his proximity, “Good.” 

They lapse into silence and he watches her carefully, the tightness to her expression extreme even for an afternoon spent with her mother. He places his hand on her knee and squeezes, “I’m guessing because of your general demeanour, and the fact you’ve been sat out here for almost 20 minutes, that lunch went off without a hitch.”

She laughs. It’s wet and painful as it catches on her ribs, the force of it making tears splash down onto her cheeks and she nods, wiping them away, “Something like that.” 

“Want to talk about it?” He asks, always sure to give her the option, and she nods, “Okay, well let's go sit on the porch,” he says, reaching over her to unbuckle her belt, “I don’t think my knees could take crouching like this much longer.” 

She nods and lets him lead her out of the car, passing him the keys so he can lock it. They sit on the top step leading up to the porch, both of them looking out at the neighbourhood they loved, and he waits her out. Let her figure out what he was going to say, his shoulder pressed against hers as she tries to navigate the emotions swirling through her body, making her dizzy even though she was sitting down.

“She called me ordinary.” 

It’s so left of field, so out of nowhere, it takes him a second to react. His eyebrows furrowing as he turns to look at her, his gaze fixed on her side profile as she continues to look straight ahead, “What?” 

“Mother she…” she clears her throat, “Well one of her friends did first. Said she was surprised I’d settled down and had kids. After she left I made the stupid decision to ask Mom why she didn’t defend me,” she laughs mirthlessly at herself, “I don’t know what I was expecting,” she finally turns to look at him, her eyes briefly meeting his before she hugs her knees to her chest and rests her chin on them, “Anyway, turns out she agreed. She thought I’d do more with my life than get married and have kids I guess.”

Angry doesn’t even come close to explaining how he feels. Fury that had once burned the walls of his childhood home, leaving the wallpaper singed and smoke damaged, burning in his lungs. He closes his eyes for a moment, takes in a deep breath, and pushes the anger away for now, knowing it’s not what she needs. 

“She’s wrong.” 

She looks up at him and smiles, shifting so her head is on his shoulder, “I know she’s wrong,” she says, curling her arms around one of his, “I love our life. I love that it’s as normal as it can be with everything we’ve been through. It’s almost extraordinary in how ordinary it is” she sniffs, turning her head to kiss him through his shirt, “If anything, I think I feel bad for her.” 

He frowns, resting his cheek on top of her head, letting her melt into his side, “Oh yeah?”

She hums, “I’m sad she can’t see the beauty in it,” she says, tilting her head to look up at him, “And that she probably never will.” 

He cups her cheek and leans in to kiss her, his forehead against hers as he pulls back, “That’s her loss,” he says, kissing her again, “I’m sorry, baby. It can’t be nice having your own mother say that.” 

She chuckles and shakes her head, swallowing thickly, “No. It isn’t,” she says, blowing out a shaky breath, “But I’ll do better than her. I’ll always think our kids are amazing no matter what they do with their lives,” her lips shake and her eyes close, fresh tears spilling onto her cheeks that he wipes away immediately, “I’ll do better.” 

He’s heard her say it before. A whisper against Jack’s forehead after she’d read him a story until he fell asleep. A promise to a newborn Hazel and then Oliver a few years later. He wraps his arms around her, gathers her against his chest as she sinks into him, his lips against her hairline as he replies. 

“You already are, sweetheart,” he says, “You already are.” 

-x-

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[topguncortez]

Hii👋

Maybe some ❛ here we are, home sweet home. ❜ with Jake Seresin for 3 k

Thank u

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Shy!Reader (not wifey yet) warnings: it's so damn fluffy you might shed a tear. Opposites Attract Masterlist | Hangman Masterlist Main Masterlist | 3 fucking K celebration

Jake was ready to take the next step. It might've been a bit too soon- hell, it was a bit too soon. But four months was long enough to know when you met the right person, right? Jake knew it was absolutely insane that he was planning out how he was going to propose to Y/N in his head, but he didn't want to send another second apart from her.

The two of them had been spending almost every night at each others houses. The first time Y/N had stayed over at Jake's was completely by accident. They went out mini-golfing and ended the night at his place watching the Legally Blonde movies (which Y/N pointed out that Jake and Elle Woods were the same person). Sometime during the movie, Y/N fell asleep on Jake's chest and he didn't have the heart to wake her up and let her drive home. So instead, Jake asked Y/N if she wanted to stay, and he even offered up his room and he'd sleep on the couch. It took both of them by surprise when Y/N said that they can share the bed.

The night was a little over three months ago, and in that time each others belongings had been scattered among the two homes. Early mornings were spent driving home after spending the night wrapped in the warmth of each other. Jake didn't like watching you leave, knowing you were going home to your house alone. It wasn't that you couldn't handle your own, it was that Jake worried about you going home late or arriving home by yourself. There were too many weirdos in the world for Jake to sleep comfortably about.

"What has you all wired up, Bagman?" Javy asked, leaning on Jake's desk, "This about the girl?"

"Yeah," Jake sighed, running a hand down his face, "Do you think I'm moving too fast?"

"You wanted to tell her that you loved her on the third date. . ."

Jake rolled his eyes, "That's true," He sighed, "I'm thinking about asking her to move in."

"Shit, already?" Javy said, straightening up a bit, "You really care about her?"

"I would propose her tomorrow if I could," Jake said, "I've been looking at rings and everything."

"I don't think I have ever seen you this crazy about a girl, Seresin."

"She's the one for me. I see her and I see my whole future. I see a house in San Diego, near her parents, maybe get to be an instructor or some hotshot pilot, I see us having like four or five little ones. I can't see my life without her and I don't want to live one either."

Javy smiled, knowing that it was the exact way that he felt about his girlfriend Valerie. He clapped his friend on the back, "Ask her. And do it soon, before she figures out that you snore and talk in your sleep."

"I do not snore."

"Keep telling yourself that buddy," Javy patted his shoulder before walking back to his desk.

--- --- ---

Y/N looked through the curtains of the big bay window, waiting for Jake to arrive. She had been at work when Jake texted and asked if she was down for dinner, and she agreed. She had a mountain of second grade math homework to look through, but she wasn't going to miss a chance to get dinner with her favorite guy.

A smile rose to her face as Jake's familiar ford f-150 pulled up into the driveway. On the very first date, Y/N made a joke about how you can take the man out of Texas but not Texas out of the man. Y/N met Jake out on the front porch, giving her that megawatt smile and pink carnations in his hand.

"For you," He said, and kissed her hand, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Y/N blushed furiously.

Jake knew that she wasn't about to lean in and kiss him, not when Mrs. Lockheart next door was as nosy as she was. The small cottage house that Y/N rented was right next to a retirement community, and she had made friends with a lot of them. It made Jake smile seeing her spend so much time caring and talking to her elderly neighbors. He made mental note to take Y/N home to Texas to meet his nana someday.

"I'll go put these inside," Y/N said and Jake nodded. Quickly, Y/N put the carnations in the same vase as the other ones from the week before were. Anytime Jake took her on a date, he always showed up with pink carnations. Partly a nod to the first song that they had listened to on their first date.

"Ready?" Jake asked and Y/N nodded. He grabbed her hand and led her to the truck. He helped her in his lifted pick-up and made sure she was all buckled before shutting the door and jogging to the drivers side.

Jake made a reservation at their favorite seafood restaurant down by the pier. Y/N loved their fish and chips, and Jake always got some sushi that made Y/N crinkle her nose. They talked about each other’s days and how work went. Y/N hardly understood a word of what Jake was talking about but she was always so intrigued. It’s what made Jake love her so much, that she was actually interested in what he did and asked questions about it. They once again argued about who was going to pay for the meal (Jake had already slipped the waiter his card when Y/N was in the bathroom). After they ate, they decided to get ice cream from their favorite place and walk down the pier. 

That’s when Jake’s nerves really started setting in. 

He had a spare key made after his conversation with Javy, and it was currently burning a hole into his jeans. He was terrified of what she was going to say. Of course the worst she could say was “no” but Jake wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to handle that. Everything had been so perfect between the two of them so far and Jake was starting to think maybe he was reading this all wrong. Y/N had noticed him become distant, his hand not gripping hers as tightly anymore. 

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, looking up at him. Jake snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at her. 

‘Now or Never, Bagman’ 

Jake didn’t say anything as he set his ice cream dish on a nearby bench, and got down on one knee. Y/N sucked in a breath, her eyes going wide. 

‘Is he proposing? Oh my god! I didn’t even wear my good white shoes!’ 

“I’m not proposing,” Jake said. 

“Oh thank god,” Y/N sighed in relief, “I mean, not like that.” 

Jake chuckled, “I will one day. Just not today, but I want to ask you to move in.” He held up the brass key that was in his pocket, “I don’t like going to bed without you. And it doesn’t have to be everything. It can be like a drawer, or a toothbrush. But . . I can’t sleep another night without you in my house.” 

Y/N bit her lip, as a blush came across her cheeks. She set her own ice cream dish down, and reached into her purse, retrieving a very similar brass key out. 

“I had one made for you,” Y/N whispered, “I was going to ask you, but I was too scared.” 

Jake shook his head and stood up from his kneeling position, “Only us would do this.” Y/N giggled, and Jake pulled her in for a hug, “So you’ll move in? Like to my house?” 

“Unless you want to be woken up by Mrs. Stone’s bingo parties. They can get pretty rowdy.” 

“Damn, I’m not sure if I can move away knowing I’ll miss Thursday night bingo,” Jake frowned and Y/N giggled, burying her head into his chest. 

“But yes, I will move into your house with you, Jake.” 

Jake wrapped his arms tightly around her as he spun her in a circle. A shriek came from her lips followed by continuous laughter. Jake set her down, and kissed her quickly, knowing that she probably felt the eyes of onlookers on her. 

“Well, we better get going. I got packing to do!” 

— — — 

Three days later, Y/N was carrying a box in her hands up the sidewalk to her new home with Jake. He had a cute little two story house that was right between the base and the school. He walked a bit ahead of her, also carrying a box of her things. He set the box down, and reached into his pocket grabbing his keys to unlock the door. Y/N went to open the door but Jake stopped her. 

“Wait!” Jake said, and then covered her eyes with his hands, “Close your eyes.” 

“Jake, I have seen your house before.” 

“Yes, but it is no longer just my house, it's your house. . . Our house,” Jake said and Y/N broke out into a large smile, “So close your eyes for me.” 

“Only for you,” Y/N said and closed her eyes. Jake removed one hand to open the door, and then carefully guided her through the front door of his house. 

Her nose was filled with the familiar scent of his house; sage and the hint of jet fuel. She could feel the warmth of the home, and it felt so inviting. She never felt like a stranger in Jake’s house, and she felt even more at home than ever before. Jake kicked the door closed with his foot, and continued to guide her into the living room. 

“Alright, Here we are,” Jake said and took his hands off her eyes. Y/N opened her eyes slowly and looked around at the living room that was now partially her’s. Not a single thing physically had changed since the last time she was here two days ago, but everything had changed emotionally, “Home sweet home.” Jake kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. 

There was a moment of silence as the two of them just soaked up being in each others embrace in their home.

"What do you think, sweets?" Jake asked.

Y/N sucked in a breath before answering, "I think we need throw pillows." She looked up at Jake, who had a bright smile on his face.

"You're lucky I love you."

[dontaskmemybias]

Safe

Pairing: Non Idol!Han Jisung x afab reader

Request: No

Theme: Friends to Lovers

Contains: Family trauma, alcohol, Fingering, Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (don’t be stupid wrap it before you tap it), marking.

Word Count: 5,102 (Jeez I got carried away)

Note: MINORS DNI!!! This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. This is my first fic like this so I hope you like it 🥰

_

You knew today would be hard, visiting your family always is. Your mom is constantly worrying over you and your life decisions, asking about your dating life, your mental health, and just generally being as invasive as possible. That’s why when Jisung texted asking if you wanted to hang out you jumped at the opportunity to get some one-on-one time with your best friend.

You were driving to pick him up after leaving your moms house, blasting your favorite band and attempting to sing along to get your head back on your shoulders when you realized that you had forgotten your wallet at your moms. Cursing yourself, you shot a text to Jisung to let him know you’d be late and flipped around to head back to your moms apartment.

As soon as you walked in you saw her with a glass of red wine in hand and a look on her face that you know means she has more questions for you. You let out a sigh and prepared yourself for the words hanging on the tip of her tongue.

“What did you forget this time?”

“My wallet”

“I swear you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your body” she sighs into her wine glass, taking a long sip.

You try to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her statement and instead bunched your hands into fists at you sides while you looked around for your wallet. Once you found it you grabbed it and waved it above your head. “Found it”

She looks at you and shakes her head “You really need to get your shit together Y/N, one of these days you’re going to lose something important and it won’t be there when you go back to get it.” She takes another drink of her wine and looks at you with sadness and disappointment in her eyes.

You took in a shaky breath trying not to let her words get to you and thought for a moment before speaking. “You’re right, I’ll try to get better.” And without another word you left her apartment.

When you got into your car the tears started falling freely and you tried to catch your breath. You looked down at your phone and saw a text from Jisung.

- No worries! Just let me know when you are on your way. ☺️

If the tears were falling before they were positively pouring down your face now. You picked up your phone and called Jisung.

“Y/N! You on your way?”

You sat in silence for a moment and took in a shaky breath, Jisung heard and immediately got worried.

“Hey babe take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname and you pushed down the feeling deep inside of you so you could focus on just telling Jisung what happened.

“My mom…” you trailed off. Jisung had known you for years now and you had told him a bit about the love-hate relationship you had with your mother, so he needed no further words to understand what was going on.

“Do you still want to hang out? It’s okay if you need some alone time to process everything.”

“No,” you immediately replied. “No I really need to see you, get some good vibes back in my day you know?”

He let out a shaky breath and you couldn’t tell what he was feeling on the other side of the phone but he spoke out a soft “okay good. I’ll see you soon.”

The drive to Jisung place went by faster than usual and as soon as he saw your tear-soaked face he opens your door and leans in to give you a warm hug. He pulls away and brings his hand up to wipe a tear off your face. “Hey beautiful, you look tired, do you want to just stay here tonight?”

You smiled at his kindness and how gentle he was treating you, like a cat that might get spooked if he spoke too loud. “Yeah that sounds really nice.” You replied with a soft smile on your face.

When you got into Jisung apartment he wraps his arms around you again and sighs into your hair, rubbing small confronting circles on your back with his thumbs. You let yourself melt into him, his familiar scent comforting you. The tension in your shoulders lessened as he continued his comforting movements and after a few moments he was the first to break the silence “How does pizza sound? We can order in and watch your favorite show?” You looked up at him, still in his arms, and a genuine smile graced your face for the first time that day. “That sounds heavenly.”

Jisung ordered the pizza and now you two were cuddled up on his couch watching your favorite show. It felt like the stress of your day was washing off you with every low chuckle Jisung let out and you wondered how you possibly could deserve someone as wonderful as him in your life.

After a bit the pizza showed up and the two of you INHALED the delicious treat, not realizing how hungry you were until you smelled the cheesy delight. After the pizza was gone and you had cleaned up you looked to your phone and saw how late it was.

“Ji, it’s like 3am, I should probably head home”

Jisung looks at you with worry in his eyes. “Y/N, it’s like 3am, you should not be driving right now.”

You locked eyes with him and let out a small chuckle at his worried look. “Well how else am I supposed to get home?”

“You aren’t, you’re staying here tonight.” He said as if it was the most obvious fact and not something you had never done before.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be an inconvenience, plus I’m not sure I can fit on your couch.” You gestured at the small couch you were seated on, barely long enough to fit a child let alone someone of your height.

“Who said anything about the couch? My bed is big enough for two and if you aren’t comfortable with that I can always sleep on the floor!” He flashes you his heart shaped grin and crescent eyes and you swore you could feel your heart stop at the thought of sharing a bed with Jisung. You weren’t blind, your best friend was incredibly attractive and on certain days you found yourself daydreaming about what a relationship with Jisung would be like. But that was it, you made sure to never act on these dreams for a fear that you may lose him if you said anything. But now your beautiful best friend was offering his bed to you with a smile that made you feel at home and you would be a fool to turn down his offer.

“Okay I’ll stay with you tonight.” You tried to hide your nerves by flashing him a full faced smile but you couldn’t help the rapid increase of your heartbeat. You just hoped that the TV was loud enough that he couldn’t hear your labored breathing.

Jisung just smiles at your words and grabs your hand to lead you to his room as he turns off the TV. Your mind was racing as he pulls out a spare tee shirt and hand it to you. “I figured this would probably be more comfortable to sleep in, would you like some shorts too? I know you said before you can’t sleep in pants” he says, getting quieter as his sentence goes on and all you can think is how he remembers that even though you’ve only mentioned it once. You take the tee shirt and smile at him. “Shorts would be nice.” You shyly say, deciding to ignore the fact that he remembered something so small about you.

Jisung hands you a pair of shorts and gestures towards the bathroom so you can go in and change. When you walked in you closed the door behind you and began to undress and put on Jisung’s clothes, smiling to yourself when you notice they still smell like him. After you changed you knocked on the door to make sure Jisung was dressed before you walked into his room. If your heart wasn’t racing before it definitely was now that you saw Jisung in nothing but boxers and a tank top looking sheepishly at you from his bed. “I can put pants on if that would make you more comfortable but those are actually my only pair of clean shorts at the moment and I also can’t sleep in pants.” He says gesturing to the shorts you are currently wearing.

“No that’s okay!” You quickly say. “I want you to be comfortable too.” You smiled at him and began to walk towards the bed. Jisung opens the blankets for you and you slid underneath them. He smiles at you and gets under the covers as well, putting a decent amount of distance between the two of you.

“Get some good sleep sweetheart, I’ll see you in the morning.” And with that he turns out the light and you are left in the dark, mind racing thinking about the new nickname he used.

~✨~

You woke up feeling… trapped? You couldn’t really move your body but for some reason it didn’t scare you. When your eyes adjusted to the dark you realized that you were not experiencing sleep paralysis, rather sometime in the night Jisung had wrapped his whole body around you. His arms were holding your body flush to his and his leg was draped over your own, you could feel his steady breath on the nape of your neck indicating he was still fast asleep. You closed your eyes and took in the feeling of having him so close to you and your body relaxed into his. You smiled and let yourself drift back to sleep.

~✨~

When you woke up next the sun was up and Jisung was still clinging to your body like a second skin. You chuckled lightly and the movement must have been enough to pull Jisung from his sleep because you heard him let out a hum and you felt him shift a bit. Then after a second his eyes shot open and upon seeing the position you two were in he flings himself off the bed and starts rambling off apologies. You laughed and looked over at his wide worried eyes and smiled at him. “It’s okay Ji, it was kinda nice.” You turned your head away to hide the flush forming on your cheeks but if you had looked a bit longer you would’ve noticed the pink flush that appeared on Jisung’s face when you spoke.

The rest of the morning went by quickly, Jisung insisted on making you breakfast but after burning his third piece of toast you took over the cooking. You made your signature pancakes and the two of you laughed and ate and you felt lighter than you had all day yesterday. Finally around 3pm you decided to head home, giving Jisung a hug on your way out. As you walked out the door he grabs your wrist and clears his throat. “Hyunjin is throwing a party Friday, would you want to go?” Jisung sounded… nervous? But why would he be nervous? You always went to Hyunjin’s parties together.

“Of course I will! We always go together!” You smiled at him.

“Right, yeah, of course!” He let go of your wrist and smiled back at you. “See you then!”

~✨~

The week went by super fast with all the projects you had at work and before you knew it Friday was here. You were excited and nervous to go to the party but you didn’t really know why, you and Jisung went to all of Hyunjin’s parties, why did it feel different this time?

Maybe because every time you went to sleep you remembered how his arms felt around you, how his breath tickled your neck, how safe you felt in his embrace.

You shook the thoughts out of your head. This is just Jisung, the same Jisung who told you awful dad jokes, who didn’t know how to spell necessarily until he was 21, the same Jisung who once burped the ABC’s for you when you said he couldn’t do it. You could do this, so what if he was incredibly attractive and kind, he was just a friend.

You decided that you were probably just horny and Jisung is the only guy you had any kind of connection with, so with that in mind you set a goal for the night: to get laid. That way you could get it out of your system and Jisung would go back to being just a friend in your mind. You put on your favorite black dress (that Jisung had picked out at the store) and some sparkly makeup. Looking in the mirror you saw how hot you looked and smiled at the thought of catching someone’s eye tonight. After finishing your hair you put on your heels and headed out the door.

~✨~

You got out of the Uber at Hyunjin’s to find the party in full swing. Once you walked in you could practically feel the bass reverberating in your ribcage. You looked around and found the alcohol on the bar in the kitchen and walked over to grab a seltzer. Once you got there you felt someone’s eyes on you and smiled thinking you’d attracted a potential hookup, when you turned around your smile faltered when you saw who it was. Jisung’s eyes were glued to yours and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of his stare. Your heart started pounding as he walked over to you dressed in black ripped jeans, a white v-neck shirt, with a black jean jacket to complete the look. When he reaches you he eyes you up and down and leans in to whisper in your ear. “You look stunning tonight sweetheart.” You felt your face flush and you took a large swig of your drink before answering. “You don’t look so bad yourself handsome.” And you flashed him your most confident smirk thanking Hyunjin for keeping the lights low so he hopefully couldn’t see how flushed your face had gotten.

“TRUTH OR DARE LIVING ROOM COME JOIN IF YOU AREN’T A SQUAREEEEEE!!!” You heard Hyunjin scream from somewhere in the house. Jisung looks at you, extending a hand. “Let’s play?” You took it and let him lead you to the living room where your friends were already forming a circle.

“Alright here’s the rules, we spin the bottle and the person it lands on picks truth or dare, no mean dares and no fucking in my room but other than that everything goes. If you refuse the question or dare you drink. Everyone understand?” Hyunjin looks around to see if anyone’s got questions and when he sees they don’t he takes a seat and spins the bottle.

It lands on Felix first who picks truth and has to confess that he has never had sex in public before, no one is surprised.

The rounds keep going until Lee Know spins and it finally lands on Jisung.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Dare” Jisung’s reply is immediate and leads to your friends laughing and mumbling about how eager Jisung seems.

“I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in the room.” Lee Know locks eyes with Jisung and smirks like he already knows who Jisung will pick.

Jisung’s eyes flit to your own and you feel your breathing become erratic when he swallows hard on nothing and before you can react he brings his beer to his lips and takes a large drink while the whole room erupts in chaos of people shouting things like “It’s just a kiss!” And “Pussy!” Jisung chuckles and ignores them to spin the bottle. And to your horror it lands on you.

Jisung smirks the hottest smirk you’ve ever seen before leaning over to Chan, the two exchange some whispers before Jisung sits up and asks, “Truth or Dare?” The gleam in his eyes makes your heart speed up as you run through the options in your head. If you choose truth he could ask if you have a crush on someone and if you drink and don’t answer he will just ask you in private and you’ll have to say something or else it would be obvious, so before your mind can make the decision your mouth speaks “Dare.”

The “oooohhhs” that come from your friends mouths barely register as you best friend smirks again and all you can see is him. He opens his mouth and nothing could have prepared you for the words he spoke next.

“I dare you to leave this party with me right now.”

A hush falls over your friends, you look around and you see most of them displaying clear signs of excitement, others of confusion. Before your eyes land on Jisung once again and without speaking you say “Okay.”

If you thought it was chaos after Jisung’s turn it was nothing compared to the screams and cheers surrounding you now. You clearly hear Hyunjin mumble “Finally” and Chan screaming “YASSSSS!” At the top of his lungs but it all fades away when Jisung reaches his hand out to you and pulls you off of the floor. He puts his arm around your waist and walks you out the door.

Once you are outside you see Jisung has already ordered an Uber and it pulls up moments later. As the two of you got into the car you realize neither of you had spoken since you left the game. Jisung is the first to break the silence.

“I really just wanted to be alone with you for a bit, the party was getting to be a bit much.” He sheepishly says while running a hand through his hair. You look over at him and see a clear blush across his cheeks. “Yeah I agree, the party was a bit much.” You couldn’t help the flush that creeps up your own cheeks as he rests his head on your shoulder and puts his hand on your knee.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence and when the Uber drops you off at Jisung’s he thanks the driver and takes your hand in his own. Your heart is hammering out of your chest at the small gesture and you mentally curse yourself for reacting like that when it’s common for you two to hold hands, but something about this time feels different.

After you got into Jisung’s apartment you fiddled with your hands, not sure what to do. “So did you want to watch a movie or something?” You say, finally looking at Jisung. When your eyes land on him he is sheepishly smiling with a crimson blush painting his face, unable to meet your eyes. He reaches up to run his hand through his hair again and let’s out a little chuckle before looking as if he is in deep thought.

“Jisung?”

He finally meets your eyes and let’s out a long sigh before muttering “fuck it.” Before you can process what is happening he takes a step toward you and grabs both your hands in his own.

“I like you, as more than a friend, I have for a while. I didn’t say anything because you are my Best. Friend. And I cannot bear the thought of losing you but I can’t keep pretending like I don’t feel this way, I can’t keep acting like every time you touch me I don’t feel my heart stop and every time you dress up I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. I can’t keep acting like I don’t fall asleep thinking about what it was like when you were in my arms and it kills me to think I might be fucking this up right now but I can’t keep going on like this because I love you Y/N, I think I always have. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same but I don’t think I can keep going on like this, I love having you in my life but it is getting too hard to not take you into my arms every time I see you and kiss every inch of you to show you just how much I love every single part of you.”

When Jisung’s eyes find yours again he sees they are filled with tears and you can see the panic on his face as his eyes begin to dart around the room. Before he can jump to any conclusions you whisper. “Why didn’t you kiss anyone during the game?”

He looks at his feet and says “I didn’t want our first kiss to be meaningless and just because of a stupid game.”

“The games over.” You whisper.

He looks at you again and sees the smile on your face so he leans in and kisses you. It’s a soft kiss, hesitant at first, but when he pulls away you closed the gap once again and the two of you melted into one another.

Kissing Jisung felt right, it felt like the world around you stopped so you could just enjoy the feeling of his plush lips against your own. You were first to pull away this time to catch your breath and as you did you put your hand on his cheek. He nuzzles into your hand and looks at you like you just hung the stars in the sky.

“Bedroom?” You ask and see as his loving gaze turns lustful. Without another word he grabs your hand and leads you to his room.

When you got to his room he pushed you up against the door and kissed you more passionately than before, you whimpered into the kiss and he took the opportunity to deliver a filthy lick into your mouth. You moaned at the sensation and his hips bucked into yours. He pulled away for a second to look you in the eyes. “If we continue I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” You looked into his eyes and simply said

“Don’t stop.”

He growled and picked you up from under your thighs and pushed himself further into you. The sensation on your clothed core made you moan and throw your head back. He took the opportunity to attach to your neck biting and sucking so you knew there would be evidence for days to come. He walked you over to the bed, lips never leaving your neck as he threw you onto the bed and took a second to tear his jacket and shirt off his body. You took this as your cue to take your dress off as well. He groaned when he saw the lacy pink bra you had on and all but fell on top of you to latch onto your tits. You gasped at the sensation of his mouth on you even through the bra and through your head back into his pillows.

He looked up at you through hooded eyes and his hands moved from the bed to your waist and up your sides. When he came to your bra he stopped and when you nodded in confirmation he unclasped your bra and flung it somewhere in his room.

“Fuck I’ve wanted to play with these for so long.” He all but moaned as his hand came up to pinch your hard buds. You moaned at the sensation and when he latched onto your nipple with his mouth you gasped as his name fell from your lips. After what felt like hours but was realistically only a minute of him sucking your nipples his hands wandered down to the top of your underwear, playing with the hem. He suddenly stood up and you almost complained until you saw him undoing his belt. You sat up and placed your hands on his own and saw panic flood his face.

“Fuck am I going to fast? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, I was just s-”

“Ji!” You stopped his panic and smiled at him. “It’s okay, I just wanted to take them off.” His brain short-circuited at your forwardness but he slowly moved his hands so you could take over. You slowly unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper, all whilst maintaining eye contact, and pulled the offending material off him. Once he stood before you in just his boxers you noticed the very prominent tent that had been pitched. You smirked at him as you reached out to touch it. When your hand made contact he groaned and threw his head back.

“Fuck baby you’re gonna be the death of me.”

You smiled and continued to palm him through his boxers until he brought his hand to your wrist and looked at you. “If you keep doing that I’m gonna blow and I REFUSE to cum before you.” His words caused you to clench on nothing and you nodded at him.

He pushed you gently back down on the bed and looked at you with the hungriest eyes you’ve ever seen your best friend sport. Then he positioned his head between your thighs and looked up at you while playing with your panties again.

“Can I take these off?” He asked flashing you a smirk.

If looks could kill god damn you’d be dead by now.

“Yes please Ji, I need you.”

At your words he pulled your underwear off of you slowly at first, then at seeing how wet you were already he all but ripped them off your body and threw them across the room. He put his hands on your thighs and spread you legs open for him. Then he leaned his head down and latched onto your clit, giving it such a hard suck you just about screamed his name. Seeing how fucked out you already were he went to work and ate you out like a man starved. You gasped and moaned, sure the neighbors knew exactly what was happening as Jisung gave you hands down the best head you had ever received. You frantically pulled at the sheets until one of Jisung’s hands reached up and moved your hand to his hair, not saying a word then returning his hands to your thighs. You experimentally pulled at his hair and he let out a lewd moan at the feeling directly into your clit making you let out an equally lewd moan.

“Ji, please.” You pleaded for nothing in particular but Jisung must have known what you needed because then you felt one of his hands move from your thigh so his fingers circled your hole a few times before sinking in and moving in a vigorous come hither motion. The action had you a panting moaning mess.

“Ji, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You whimpered which only caused him to double down on his efforts and give you the most satisfying orgasm of your life. He fingered and sucked you through it until your legs stopped shaking and finally he pulled up from you and looked at you with your cum dripping down his chin. The sight of him like that made you let out a moan as you pulled him on top of you for and messy kiss.

He pulled away and looked down at you with hearts in his eyes. You looked at him with lust blown pupils and said the words he’d wanted to hear for years.

“Ji, I want you inside me right now.”

His adoration filled eyes darkened and he pulled down his boxers to finally reveal his rock-hard dick. You stared down with your jaw on the floor at the mere sight of him.

“Let me grab a condom.” He said turning away from you. You grabbed his wrist and looked him dead in the eyes.

“I want you to fuck me raw Ji and cum inside. I’ve got an IUD and I can take a plan b if you want, but I want to feel you inside me.”

“Fuck baby what did I do to deserve you?” He groaned and leaned over you.

He laid you on your back with your legs spread wide for him to lay between. When he finally lined himself up, put his hands on your waist, and pushed in the first inch he let out the most pornographic moan you could’ve cum from that alone. He slowly made his way in so he didn’t hurt you and once he bottomed out you both moaned out at the sensation.

“Fuck I’ve never done this without a condom, I-fuck- don’t know how long I’ll last you feel so f-fucking good around me.” He struggled to get out.

“Don’t worry b-baby we’ve got all the time in the wo-world, c-cum soon if y-you need to.” You breathed back.

At that he started moving. Slowly at first, then finally picking up speed until you could feel the knot beginning to tighten in your belly once again. As if he could tell he brought his hand down and started circling your clit.

“FUCK JISUNG fuckfuckshit right there baby!”

He pounded into you and you knew there would be bruises on your waist tomorrow from the death grip his one hand had on you. The thought of his marks on you brought you over the edge and you let your orgasm wash over you, clenching on his cock in the process.

“FUCK Y/N baby your clenching so hard fuck I’m gonna fucking cum!” And with that Jisung painted your insides white, thrusting a few more times while you milked his cock.

After his final thrust he fell on top of you, a panting sweaty mess. After a few minutes you both started giggling and he rolled over to lay next to you. He reached out and moved your hair from your face, the look of adoration back in his eyes.

“That was more incredible than I ever imagined.” He breathed out.

“Same here, you’re a fucking god with that mouth.” You giggled back at him

“Oh?” He cocked his head up “This mouth?” He leaned in and kissed you, this kiss was filled with nothing but love. When he pulled away you sighed.

“Yes, that one.”

He giggled and pulled you into him, cradling you in his arms.

“Hey, Ji?”

“Yes beautiful?”

“I love you too.”

[ughkat]

ifhy - c.t.h

" i fucking hate you , but i love you "

calum x fem!reader

requested: no, just wanted to write angsty calum smut

desc: since your early school days, you and calum have had an unexplained anger towards one another. you quickly learn that your pent up hatred may have been furious lust after all this time.

smut, hate sex, dom!cal, kissing, pet names, swearing, smoking, drinking, angst

not proofread

Hate. Fury. Rage. Frustration.

Nothing, no one I've encountered made me feel the passionate hatred I felt towards another human being than when I was in the presence of Calum Hood.

Since the 7th grade, Calum has inevitably found ways to make my life miserable. From intentionally ruining my grades and tripping me in the hallways when we were young, to simply being the stereotypical high school bully, name calling and under his breath comments when I walk by. I never understood why he chose me so specifically, being my best friend, Ella, never had any problems with him. No one did. I was his chosen victim. However, his behavior towards me only fueled Ella's own form of hatred and anger towards him.

Agonizing years of coming home from school in tears from embarrassment and shattered self esteem, Calum still remained a reoccurring character in my adult life. Ella's older brother, Ethan, ironically happened to be Calum's best friend. The two met during soccer tryouts our freshman year of high school, the rowdy duo had been inseparable ever since.

Wednesday

I sat criss cross on Ella's bedroom floor as we finished planning her upcoming 21st birthday. She expressed to me that she wanted this party to be bigger than she'd ever done previously.

"I want to invite, like, everyone." Ella exaggerated with her hands, scrolling through her phone's contacts. I giggled at her excitement for her big day, leaning over to watch her screen.

"El, this house is only so big." I chuckled, watching her take notes for the guest list.

"I told Ethan to invite whoever. Hoping that brings in more people." She shrugged. I let out a small groan, looking at Ella in frustration with a smack of my teeth.

"Ugh, you know he's gonna' invite Calum." I whined, rolling my head back dramatically. Ella looked at me apologetically, as if the thought of Calum being her brothers best friend completely slipped her mind.

"Oh, yeah." She muttered, "I can tell him not to invite him, don't worry.". I shook my head at her accommodation, not wanting her 21st birthday planning to be ruined by my own inconvenience.

"No, it's okay." I sighed, "I can ignore him. What's he gonna do or say in a house full of people?" I scoffed at the thought of Calum having the audacity to start something at Ella's party. She chuckled in response, raising her eyebrows in fairness.

"True.".

We continued scrolling through her phone, swiping "yes" and "no" to possible party goers as if we were on a dating app.

"What if Calum just likes you?" Ella chirped suddenly, making me jolt my head in her direction. I scoffed sarcastically at the impossible idea.

"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes.

"No, really." She shrugged, "You know how they say boys are mean to you because they like you?".

"Yeah, it's misogynistic." I dramatized half sarcastically, leaning into her face with an eye roll. She shrugged again in defense, putting her hands up slightly.

"If I'm right and you two get married with five kids in a few years, don't say I didn't tell you so." She giggled. I slapped her playfully on the arm with an open jaw.

"Gross! As if." I laughed. However, my mind couldn't help but wander into the idea of Calum's aggression being simple attraction. Sure, Calum was probably the most attractive boy I knew, but that didn't change my hate towards him. Did it?

"Friday, seven o'clock." Ella confirmed her party date as I stood at her front door, I nodded in confirmation, giving her a simple hug on my way out.

"I'll see you then, love you." I departed.

The car ride back to my apartment was mostly silent, my mind was loud enough to eat away the white noise filling the space. I couldn't get Ella's childish words out of my head. Calum couldn't like me. He hated me. I hated him. I hated the way he talked, the way he dressed. The way his hair dark curled so effortlessly perfect on his head. The way his toned muscles flexed during his fast paced soccer games. The way his pink lips moved as he spoke about the things he was passionate about. The way his dark brown doe eyes sparkled if you looked at them at just the right angle. The way his voice rasped deeply in our early morning classes. I hated him.

Friday

"Hey, I'm outside." I anxiously called Ella from the sidewalk outside her house, the rows of cars parked on the street halting my confidence to walk in unaccompanied. Loud thumping music and incoherent voices could be heard from the sidewalk.

I hung up my phone, placing it back in my small handbag as I waited outside for Ella. I ran my hands down my outfit, soothing the wrinkles on my tight leather pants and adjusting the straps on my black corset top. I loosely curled my hair, letting it fall down my back naturally. My foot bounced anxiously in my black boots as I finally watched my best friend emerge from her front door.

"Hey!" She elongated her words, seemingly already intoxicated and reaching her arms out for a hug.

"Happy birthday, sexy." I giggled, embracing her tightly after taking in her perfectly planned birthday outfit.

"Okay, before we go in, Calum is here." She began, her words slurring slightly. I sighed in defeat, looking down at my feet before back up at her, "But he's totally distracted and talking to like, five other girls and Ethan right now, so you're good." She finished. I caught myself jealously wincing at the thought of Calum's undivided attention on the unknown girls, brushing it off quickly.

"It's okay, don't even worry about me. It's your night! C'mon." I reached for Ella's hands, the two of us making our way inside her noisy house.

Within the first 5 seconds of entering the house, I spotted Calum from across the room on Ella's corner sofa. To each of his sides, three girls and Ethan. I snuck my glance before Ella took the lead.

"Come say hi to Ethan!" She drunkenly urged, dragging me by my wrists closer to the couch. I took a deep breath as I was ushered through various bodies to the couch containing Calum. He looked up from the girl beside him as he heard our approach.

"E!" Ella shouted at Ethan, making his head perk up with furrowed eyebrows. His expression immediately softened after noticing my presence.

"Hey, kid." He stood up slightly, leaning in for a side hug.

"Hey." I spoke, forcing a smile. Ella pulled me down, sitting us on the love seat across from Ethan and Calum.

"Happy birthday, El." Calum spoke up with a smile, his two arms stretched across the back of the couch around the girls beside him. His eyes met mine briefly after he spoke.

"Thank you." She dragged out with a grin, "Oh! Do you want a drink?" She turned to me quickly, motioning to the drink in her hand.

"That'd be great, thanks." I smiled warmly before realizing she would leave me alone momentarily with Calum. I locked my gaze on my fidgeting thumbs in my lap, avoiding as much contact with him as possible.

"Why so serious?" I hear Calum chirp smugly with a tilted head. I looked up to meet his narrow gaze, his face plastered with a smart-ass smirk.

"Why do you care?" I snapped back smugly, squinting my eyes sarcastically. He threw his hands up in defense, looking away with a chuckle.

"Someone's bitchy." He muttered, raising his eyebrows slightly as he took a swig from his beer.

"Are you physically incapable of going 5 minutes without tormenting me?" I shook my head in frustration. His smug face only fueling my anger more.

"Seems so." He replied bluntly. I sighed heavily as Ella returned with my drink. My hands flew to the tab, quickly snapping my beer open to take a needed swig. I heard Calum scoff from across the way, making my blood boil.

"How did you guys meet? School, or what?" A blond from beside Calum chimed in, her aggressive valley accent prominently stronger after her copious alcohol intake. She looked at me with vacant eyes. Calum's eyes flashed to me with a smirk before speaking.

"How did we meet, Y/n?" He teased, tilting his head. I took a shaky breath, my throat tight with anger.

"Well," I began, "El, Ethan, Calum and I went to school together." I forced a smile. The girls face lit up innocently, turning to look at Calum.

"Aw, how sweet! I bet you're all so close." She clasped her hands together adoringly. I glanced at Calum quickly as I spoke.

"Something like that.".

I spent the next hour babysitting Ella from over drinking and sharing stories with the unnamed blond across the couch before my social battery began to die out.

"Hey, I'm gonna go out back for a smoke." I alerted Ella over the thumping music. I felt Calum's gaze burning into me as I made my way to the back door, exiting the house slyly.

I sighed deeply as I took in the fresh air and quiet night, the muffled music and voices played softly through the air. My elbows leaned slightly on her patio fence as I light up a cigarette from my pack. As I exhaled, the sound of the back door opening caught my attention. I turned around to once again be greeted by Calum's smug face, his hands in his pockets slightly. I tossed my head back with a small groan, turning back around to ignore him.

His tall frame approached from behind me, his presence sending a small chill down my spine.

"What do you want, Calum?" I whined as he chose to stand in a spot directly beside me.

"Can't I get some fresh air?" He teased, shrugging. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, taking a large drag from my cigarette. He leaned against the fence, my peripheral catching his toned bicep so close to my arm.

"Got an extra?" He gestured with his head to my pack, asking for one. I scoffed at him, raising my eyebrows slightly.

"Really." I spoke in disbelief, "Oh I'm the biggest dick on the planet, can I have a cigarette? You're ridiculous." I mocked, reaching for the pack beside me on the fence. Calum chuckled, tilting his head slightly.

"Yet, here you are, reaching for the pack to give me one?" He spoke as I began to pull another stick from the back, making me give him a death stare. I tossed the cigarette at him angrily, the stick falling to the floor. He picked it up with a smirk, shaking his head.

"Ever think maybe, if you weren't such a bitch, I wouldn't fuck with you so much?" He spoke bluntly, looking down at the cigarette now in his mouth as he began to light it. My mouth dropped slightly, I squinted in offense.

"Are you fucking joking?" I scoffed with a half smile, "You started all of this! You've been a fucking asshole since I can remember." I turned to face him fully, speaking with my hands. He looked ahead as I rambled, nodding nonchalantly at my words.

"I don't know, Y/n," He began, licking his lips mischievously, "Your hatred towards me seems more like fear. Intimidation." He continued to look away as he spoke. His words made my heart stop for a moment, his audacity having me at a loss of words.

"Intimidation?" I exaggerated, "You think you intimidate me?" I half laughed. Calum turned to face me, looking me in the eyes deeply.

"Look at me." He ordered sternly, "In my eyes, look at me.". My eyes shot up to his, his gaze burned into mine fiercely, making me look away quickly as my stomach began to flutter. I scolded myself mentally for proving his point correct.

"Exactly. Intimidation." He nodded to himself, returning to his previous position. So what if he intimidated me. What was he trying to prove?

Calum tossed his half smoked cigarette to the ground, stomping it out gently.

"See you inside, sweetheart." He spoke deeply, looking me up and down before making his way back inside. My mind was scrambled, Calum's unusual yet continuous infuriating behavior made my stomach flutter and my hands clammy. How could I begin to feel so attracted to someone I couldn't stand being around?

Back inside, I took my seat on the couch again, Ella nowhere to be seen.

"Where's El?" I spoke up to Ethan.

"Her room. She's knocked." He laughed at his sisters intoxication. I sighed in relief, thankful that if she was going to be heavily inebriated, at least she's safe in her own home. I'd also noted Calum's empty seat, unaware of his location as well. Being too stubborn to ask, I brushed it off, though he was heavy on my mind.

Bored and tired, I found my way to Ella's bathroom downstairs, seemingly unoccupied. Upon opening the door, I let out a gasp. I was greeted by Calum, who seemed to be finishing up in relieving his bladder.

"Jesus, fuck. Don't you know how to lock a door?" I groaned, standing through a slightly opened door, looking down at my feet.

"Don't you know how to knock?" He spoke, zipping his jeans, "You're choosing to stay there and watch, so." He smirked. I looked up at him through the cracked open door, his hand reaching for the handle.

"Are you done?" I muttered as he pulled the door open more, looking down at me.

"No." He spoke deeply, his hand shot to my wrists quickly, pulling me into the bathroom unexpectedly.

"Calum what-" I was cut off by his heavy hands pushing me by my waist against the bathroom door to close it, his quick hand moving to lock the handle.

"How bad d'you hate me?" He growled, his words deep in my ear. My stomach fluttered as my breath hitched, his dominate energy overpowering me.

"I can't stand you." I spoke quietly, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He smirked briefly before leaning down to connect our lips for a rough kiss. I gasped, placing a quick hand on his arm in defense before I slowly melted into his lips. My mind raced with a million thoughts as our mouths danced in unison, his hands traveling up and down my waist.

"Awfully friendly for someone who can't stand me." He spoke smugly into my lips.

"Shut up." I breathed, pulling him by his shirt closer into my body, connecting our lips again for a heated make out. My hands wandered over Calum's toned torso, my lustful impulse overpowering my doubt. Calum smoothly moved me to the counter, my tailbone hitting the cold tile before he hoisted me up from under my thighs, not breaking our sloppy kiss.

He moved between my legs, his hands gripping my hips eagerly as our panting breaths mixed in with the sounds of banging music and party goers. The thought of my drunk friend in her bedroom upstairs slipped my mind.

"Off." Calum mumbled against my mouth, tugging at the hem of my top. My hands guided his to the clasps on my back, his talented fingers undoing my lace top effortlessly, letting it fall to the counter beside us.

He placed his callous hands on my bare breasts, squeezing and groping as his lips found their way down my neck and chest tenderly. My head rolled back lazily, hitting the mirror slightly at the feeling of his plump lips against my skin.

"Such a pretty little thing." He growled into my skin.

His hands trailed to my waistband, quickly undoing the button on my pants, the zipper following. Calum teasingly palmed my heat over my bottoms, smirking as squirmed impatiently.

"Someone's eager." He spoke deeply.

"Just take them off already." I muttered in a whine, my previous annoyance for Calum remaining though I so badly craved his touch.

Wasting no time, Calum swiftly pulled the tight pants from my legs, bringing my underwear down with and letting them pool on the floor beneath him. He bent down to his knees, face level with my already dripping folds.

"So wet already, sweetheart." He cooed, gliding a rough finger over my slit once, making me arch my back in return, "All this for me?" He tilted his head, placing his now cunt-slick middle finger in his mouth—his eyes meeting mine. I looked down at him in frustration, my hips wiggling and squirming with anticipation.

"Stop teasing." I whined, rolling my head to the side lazily. Calum chuckled lightly, scooting in closer between my legs. He placed two hands around my thighs, gripping the skin tightly before pressing his mouth against my heat abruptly. A hand flew to my mouth, trying to conceal the squeal emitting from my lips at his unexpected action. I watched him in awe as his eyes fluttered shut, working his lips and tongue on my folds with intense focus. My hand unconsciously moved to his hair, interlocking with his curls tightly as he performed his oral work.

With Calum working between my legs, I couldn't help but let a small giggle escape my lips at the unbelievable events I was letting unfold before me. I knew my hatred towards Calum remained the same, but I couldn't understand why I craved every bit of him so badly. Perhaps Ella was right, and perhaps our resentment and anger towards each other in our younger years had been slowly developing into furious lust all this time.

Calum stood back up with a swipe of his thumb across his bottom lip, looking at me through his eyebrows. He quickly tossed his slim fitting black t-shirt off, the clothing joining the rest in a pile on the cold tile floor. I impulsively reached out, pulling Calum in by his arms, my eyes glued to the toned "V" shape leading into his waist band. He smirked slightly, bringing his face in close to mine. Our foreheads connected gently while our heavy breaths heated the small space, my eager hands trailing to Calum's jeans button and zipper.

"So impatient." He chuckled deeply, placing two hands on each side of the counter beside my thighs.

"This changes nothing," I muttered, my eyes focused on removing the tight jeans from Calum's lower half, "I still don't like you." I half lied to him, myself as well. He let out a small laugh through his nose, shaking his head slightly with a smirk.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart." He spoke with in a deep tone, roughly pushing my wrists away from his almost exposed member. I gasped lightly at Calum's aggression, finding myself even more aroused at his dominance. He forcefully pushed my up my knees, holding my legs up with two hands under my thighs. I shivered at the cool air hitting my exposed heat, my eyes stuck in a gaze at Calum bringing a hand down to his boxers. My stomach fluttered as he revealed his erect shaft, bringing it gently against my slick folds.

"Still don't like me?" He tilted his head slightly, gliding his tip up and down my slit. My breathing shook, I watched, biting my cheek as Calum tauntingly ran his shaft against me.

"Just fuck me, please." I half whimpered in between breaths, continuing to watch his actions carefully. His continuation in taunting my hatred for him somehow only fueling my need foe him more.

"There's a good girl." He smiled slightly, lining himself up at my entrance. He replaced his hand at my thigh, holding my legs up as he pushed himself inside me sharply, emitting a sharp gasp from my lips. He wasted no time catching a quick pace, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on his cock thrusting deeply into my hole.

My head rolled back onto the cold glass mirror, the sensation on Calum hitting my walls taking over my body.

"Mm, Fuck, Cal." I moaned in between thrusts, my head rolling to my shoulder lazily as I watched Calum pound my vigorously.

"I've been waiting to fuck you for so fuckin' long, doll." He growled in my ear, leaning closer into my face, "You just wanted to get hate fucked, is that it?" He chuckled deeply, quickening his pace. I looked up at him through my lashes, trying my best to death stare him as his thrusting numbed my mind. His face was smug, Calum knew he was right—even if I never admitted it. But personally, I knew he was right too.

Calum shot a quick hand to cover my mouth as I squealed a loud whine, concealing my sounds from the party just outside the door.

"Don't wanna get caught, princess." He chuckled, looking down his nose at me in amusement. My eyes closed shut tightly as I began to feel my climax approaching quickly. I gripped the counter tightly, my knuckles turning white. My whines and moans muffled in Calum's palm. He noted my rising finish, pounding himself deeper inside of me.

"Gonna cum already, doll?" He teased, watching my twisted expression closely. I nodded frantically, my head rolling back in pleasure against the mirror once more.

"Cum for me, sweetheart. Cum around my cock for me." He growled, moving in closer to my ear and keeping a hand over my mouth. My eyes rolled back, I let myself tremble and release around Calum's continuously pounding shaft.

"Such a good girl." He praised deeply, keeping up his quick pace to bring himself to his finish.

"Fuck, Y/n." He groaned in between breaths as his cock twitched inside me. He pulled out quickly, releasing his warm load on my bare abdomen. Calum dropped his head, falling lazily onto his palms placed on each side of my thighs as he let my legs fall back down onto the counter with a small smack.

Our heavy breaths filled the room, my head rested heavily against the fogging mirror as the two of us sat in a moment of silence.

"Still hate me?" Calum spoke up with a smirk, reaching over to wad up toilet paper and clean his mess from my stomach. I let out a heavy sigh, looking at him with a half annoyed expression.

"Don't push it." I muttered, my lips cracking an uncontrollable smirk as Calum handed me my discarded clothing. I hopped off the counter, pulling my pants up as Calum spoke.

"Gonna tell Ella?" He asked genuinely, pulling his shirt over his head. I paused briefly, completely forgetting about my intoxicated best friend upstairs. I let out a small sigh before answering.

"I don't know yet." I chuckled softly, "Let me process what I just did first." I joked. Calum laughed.

"Fair. I'll go out first?" He motioned to the door, hinting at the obvious predicament of the both of us exiting the bathroom at the same time.

"Right." I nodded in agreement, standing by the wall as he began to make his exit. He looked at me briefly before making his way out.

"See you later, sweetheart." He flashed me a smirk before exiting the bathroom, leaving me and my thoughts to ourselves.

[jensengirl83]

You’ll Accompany Me- Chp 15

Jensen x reader

Word Count- 1737

Warnings- We’re still on the angst train, language, a tiny bit of fluff if you squint

Y/N sighed as she walked through the front door of Jensen’s house. He had broken her heart and left her in tears on the kitchen floor the last time she was there. Now, she had to stay there for the rest of her pregnancy. It was a better option than staying in the hospital for months, but she honestly wondered just how much better it would be. Could she stay in her ex-boyfriend’s home and not be tortured by the heartbreak she endured? Or could they manage to get along enough for her to have the baby and then move back out? Only time would tell.

She made her way over to the couch to sit down while Jensen, Jared, and Gen brought in what she had asked for from her apartment. Her eyes never left Jensen as he moved around the room, putting down the boxes of her things in the living room to be moved to their designated spot later. It wasn’t a question of if she was still in love with him. Of course, she was. But, he had truly destroyed her when he walked out on her that day, and she didn’t know if that could ever be forgiven. She wouldn’t keep him from being in their child’s life if that’s what he wanted, but she didn’t know if he could ever be a part of hers again. Not in the romantic sense.

“You okay, baby?” Jensen asked her when he noticed her staring off into space.

“I’m fine, Jensen, and I’m not your baby anymore. So, please stop with the pet names,” she murmured, her heart hurting with the use of his term of endearment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head and walking back out the door to his truck.

“Y/N, take it easy on him, okay? He still loves you and feels like shit about what he did,” Jared stated, making her a little angry.

“Really? And this isn’t hard on me? He doesn’t have to come back to the house that I left him in with his heart shattered on the floor. He did that to me! I get that he feels bad, but this isn’t a picnic for me, either,” she shouted, her temper getting the best of her.

“Hey, she doesn’t need this right now,” Gen chimed in, coming to sit by Y/N, “Let’s all calm down and take a deep breath. No one is saying this isn’t hard for you, Y/N. Jared just meant that Jay is letting this eat him up on the inside. You both have a lot of healing to do, and maybe it’s best to try and move past all this together.”

“I’m trying, Gen. I am, but I’m still hurt. When I look at him, I can still see his face when he left and went to Dee’s that day,” she whispered, wiping a tear away that escaped, “I promise I’ll try not to be so hard on him, but I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to take him back.”

“Hey, no one is asking that of you. We just want you guys to be able to live with each other in peace. You don’t need the stress of arguing with him all the time. Me and Jared are genuinely worried for you and the baby. He just doesn’t know how to express that appropriately,” Gen chuckled, giving Y/N a hug when she joined in.

“Yeah, what she said,” Jared huffed with faux annoyance.

“Thanks, guys. You’re right. We can’t possibly make it these next months at each other’s throats. I’ll be nicer,” Y/N rolled her eyes but a small smile on her face.

“Is everything okay?” Jensen asked, noticing Gen hugging Y/N on the couch. No matter how angry she was with him, he still loved her with everything he was and couldn’t stand the thought of her hurting.

“It’s fine. Gen was giving me advice on how to handle these months I have ahead of me,” she said, Jensen nodding and turning to walk away.

“Hey, Jay,” Jensen turned around to see what she needed, “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I want to get along.”

“No need to apologize. I want to get along too, Y/N,” he agreed with a smile, but his face fell as soon as he turned around.

He wanted to get along. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he wanted to have her back in his arms, in his bed, and not just sexually. He wanted all of her again, but he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had hurt her deeply, and he had to deal with the consequences. He could only hope that she would forgive him and they could try again one day. But, if not, he would still be there for her, always. She was the love of his life and now the mother of one of his children. Even if they never reconnected romantically, there would never be another woman for him. She was it for him, and he prayed that she would think of him like that again in the future.

Y/N was sitting in the bed in the guest room watching tv. She had insisted on not being in the master bedroom. It was hard enough being in the house for now. She couldn’t imagine sleeping in the same bed that she had shared with him. That was asking for it. So, there she was, in the guest bedroom of her ex-boyfriend’s house, her mind racing with all the memories of how she ended up there.

She knew that Jensen hadn’t wanted any more kids, but she still didn’t understand his reaction. Sure, she was terrified when she found out she was pregnant, but he had been irate. He had said that he had reacted that way because he was scared, but she had difficulty swallowing that explanation. She had been afraid, but she hadn’t exploded. She hadn’t been so upset that she ruined their entire relationship. She wiped at the tears slipping down her cheeks and took a deep breath. She had to quit thinking about all this if she was ever going to be able to live with him.

She looked around her room at all the things Jensen had put away. He had insisted that he unpack all her things for her so she didn’t have to and would be comfortable. She knew he was trying, but it just wasn’t enough. Not now, anyway. Maybe, one day, she could let it all go, but it wasn’t right now. A knock on her door made her jump, ending her reverie.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jensen asked, poking his head in the door.

“I’m good. Just watching some tv.”

“I- uh, I brought you something to eat,” he stuttered, opening the door and walking in with a tray,” I made you grilled cheese and soup. Chicken noodle, not tomato. I know you don’t like tomato soup.”

“Thank you, Jay,” she said with a genuine smile.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m doing my job. I’m here to take care of you both,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. His tell that he was nervous.

“Jay, you don’t have to be nervous around me. I know we aren’t a couple now, but we were friends for sixteen years. Am I still hurt? Yes, but I’m not going to yell or bite your head off,” she chuckled, patting the bed for him to come sit down.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he sighed, sitting beside her on the bed and giving her the food.

“I’ll let you know if I’m uncomfortable, Jay. Walking around me like you are on eggshells makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for everything, too,” she laughed.

“I’m so- Look, I should be apologizing to you all day, every day, Y/N. I fucked up,” he sighed.

“You did, but make it up to me by being my friend again. That’s what I want,” she smiled, making his heart flutter.

“I’ll try, I will, but it will be hard,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because I’m still in love with you. I don’t want to be just your friend anymore. I want us again.”

“Jensen,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I know you love me. I love you, but I can’t let it go. Not right now, maybe not ever. I know you said you’re sorry, and I appreciate that. But you don’t fully realize how you broke me that day. You left me to go stay with your ex-wife when I told you I was having your baby. How am I supposed to just let that go? How am I supposed to know you won’t leave me again when it’s something that scares you?” she sniffled, the hurt washing over again.

“Y/N, I don’t know how many times to say I’m sorry and that I royally fucked up! Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg? Grovel at your feet? I’ll do it! Just tell me what I have to do!” he pleaded, his eyes welling up with tears.

“Give me time, and don’t pressure me. I’m going to have to work through this on my own. And I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to be your girlfriend again. But you have to give me time to figure it out on my own, okay? Please?”

“Okay. I won’t bring it up again,” he groaned, standing to leave.

“Jay, don’t be like that. I’m sorry you didn’t get the answer you wanted right now, but please, don’t be like that with me. I’m asking as your friend, don’t make this harder on either of us.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll take you as my friend rather than nothing at all. Forgive me?”

“Of course, Jay,” she smiled.

He didn’t say another word. He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead and walked out the door, shutting softly behind him. She threw her head back on her pillow and groaned. She hated hurting him, but she just couldn’t move past her own hurt at that moment. She sat up, took a bite of her sandwich, and rolled her eyes. Living with him was going to be a lot harder than she had anticipated.

[eyes-of-rock]

Love Again

Bruce Kulick X Rockstar OC

Chapter One

Plot: Ren was once a guitar icon in the late 80s, but now it's 1992. Her heart and band broke, and now she's a shell of her former self. Her sister thinks Bruce might be the man to help her get her spark back, so with the help of her fiance, Eric, they devise a plan to get them together.

Bruce’s POV

“Thanks for letting me borrow your car, baby.” Alexandra, Eric’s girlfriend, thanks him by kissing him.

I looked over at the wrong moment. Of course, I'm happy for him; he has a less-than-great dating history and deserves it. She’s also his fiance, so of course they will do that. It's just that you don't want to see your buddy making out with someone.

She’s here with her teenage sister, who looks unimpressed to be in the room with an old rock band. She keeps rolling her eyes and pulling annoyed faces. I guess some things never change, and teenagers is one of them.

“Can we go now?” She asks once Alexandra stops kissing Eric.

“Yes, we're going,” Alexandra says, annoyed at her attitude, as they disappear out the door.

I turn my attention back to my guitar and the rehearsal at hand. The tour is in a couple of weeks, and we've been rehearsing like crazy to ensure everything is tight.

“You guys are coming to the party, right?” Eric asks me, Gene and Paul.

The party is his engagement party. It’s wild to think that soon, I’ll be the only one in KISS who's not married. Gene isn't legally married, but he might as well be. He has two kids with Shannon. Paul recently got married, and now Eric. That leaves me. I did almost get married once, but that never worked out.

“We’re all coming,” Paul speaks for all of us.

“Doesn’t she have like six sisters? Gene asks, looking at Eric.

“Yup,” Eric says, “and they all live together; for now, once we get married, Alexandra is going to live with me.”

“That house must be something else,” Paul comments.

“It’s a mansion. Her sister, who's three years older than her, is Ren Blix. She was the guitarist of the band Savage Seduction.” Eric informs us all.

Many years ago, on my first tour with KISS, we went on a tour with them. I remember thinking Ren was a very talented guitar player. They took off during that tour and went on to headline arenas worldwide, having a few hit songs that got to number one. Then they disappeared. I haven't heard anything about them since then.

“Oh yeah, I remember her.” Gene pipes up, “It’s a small world.”

“I wonder what ever happened to them?” Paul ponders, “I haven't heard anything about them in years.”

“I have no idea.” Eric shrugs, “The party is at the house, so you could always ask Ren.”

“I might.” Paul shrugs, “Now, let's get back to rehearsals.

——————————————————

Ren’s POV

It's wild to think my sister is getting married to a member of KISS. I remember back in 1984 when I toured with them as the opening act. That was the tour where Savage Seduction took off. The tour where we got our first number-one song and album. That tour holds a special place in my heart.

During the tour after that, we headed to the arenas with our opening act. The way it would be for the rest of our careers until the band's bitter end. I wish he hadn't ended how it ended.

It still hurts. Jayce was my first love and musical companion since we were thirteen. We built a whole life together, and I thought we'd never lose that. How stupid I was. We were kids in love who thought nothing would change that. Of course, time and fame change everything.

Hindsight is 50/50. You should never start a band with your boyfriend. I know that. I just thought, hey, it will be different for us. We’ve known each other since we were thirteen; nothing can tear us apart, but time and fame will find a way.

We drifted apart, but we kept holding on like idiots. We didn't want to ruin the band we worked so hard to create. We might have been able to save it if we just let go, but we didn't.

He cheated on me. He cheated on me a lot. Then, it was published in a tabloid magazine to rub salt into the wound. He published it. He fucking humiliated me like that. He exposed his unfaithfulness to the world and made me look like an idiot. The band ended because we couldn't be in the same room anymore.

I’m happy for my sister. I am. Eric seems like a good guy. Then again, so did Jace; we know how that turned out. I still want to stay optimistic about my sister even if I'm overly loved. That's why I'm throwing her this engagement party.

I look into the living room and spot my youngest sister, Cassidy, who’s thirteen, yapping someone's ear off. She loves to talk and will talk about anything with anyone. Tonight, her victim seems to be Bruce Kulick.

He's the guitar player of KISS. If I remember correctly, my tour with them was his first. I've met him before, but that tour was hectic, so we didn't interact much.

He's politely listening to her Yap. Which is nice of him, but I feel bad for the guy. He's getting yapped at by a thirteen-year-old girl about god knows what.

“Oh hey, Ren!” She greets me enthusiastically. “She’s also a guitarist.”

“I know; I've seen her play before,” Bruce replies politely with a small smile.

“We toured together before,” I tell Cassidy.

“Oh, cool!” She says excitedly.

“Cass, come here. I have got to show you something!” My sixteen-year-old sister, Jade, comes running into the room.

“Okay!” Cassidy says, “Nice talking to you! Bye!”

“Bye.” Bruce laughs as she disappears with our sister to see who knows what.

“I’m sorry about her.” I apologize, “She loves to talk.”

“It's fine; she's a nice kid,” Bruce says, waving it off.

“I was just admiring that guitar.”

He points to my Ibanez costume. The one with my matt dark purple finish and fuck off written on the back with sparkly black paint.

I have one on my living room wall as decoration and the other in my guitar room. The one on the wall has never actually been played. It's just a backup in case the other one gets stolen. The other guitar has seen many gigs, though. I played it almost exclusively for years.

It's displayed in the living room, face down the back is what's being shown to the world and the fuck off.

“Thanks.” I smile, “You had some nice ones, too; I love the radioactive one. Your guitar work on Crazy Nights is great.”

“Thanks, that means a lot is coming from you.” He smiles, “I still have that guitar.”

“I’m a guitar hoarder, so I still have all of mine.” I laugh, “I can show you more if you want.”

“I always love looking at guitars.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I laugh, “That’s just a guitarist thing, I think.”

“I think you’re right.” Bruce agrees as I lead him to my guitar room.

I must admit it's nice to talk guitars with someone again. I haven't done that in two years and never realized how much I miss it.

——————————————————

Alexandra’s POV

It’s been about two years since I've seen my sister engaged in conversation with anyone who isn't in our family ever since Jace broke her heart and destroyed her life in the process.

She’s pretty much been a shut-in. Which I hate seeing. She used to be much different. She lost her spark. For the first time in forever, I see that spark again in her eyes when she’s talking to Bruce.

Bruce has always been a nice guy. From the moment I met him, he's been nice to me. He's also a guitar player, just like her. Maybe he's precisely what Ren needs to get out of this slump.

The cheating is the straw that broke the camel's back, but in my opinion, Jace never treated her right. He was talking down to her, but she never saw that. It pissed all of us off.

She deserves better, and maybe Bruce is that better. How do I pull this off, though? I know Ren, and she's never going to take my suggestions.

“Eric?” I ask my lovely fiance.

“Yes?” He replies.

“Is Bruce single?”

“Yup, he almost got married once, but it didn't work out.” He tells me, “Why?”

“I was thinking of maybe getting Ren and him together,” I suggest.

“That's not a bad idea.” Eric agrees with me. “But how are we going to make that happen?”

“Leave it to me,” I tell him; I have just the plan.

[ask-codeearasure]

The Outer Realms - Chapter 1

Next Chapter ---->

Chapter One:

Sleep’s Claim

—

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before” - Edgar Allen Poe (The Raven)

—----------------

Dream couldn’t help but stare from a distance as a human child with a purple and pink outfit, and the ability to transform their arms into blades and summon a pink scythe. She was flailing around, trying to escape the world she was in, but couldn’t succeed. Everything was deteriorating, going surreal. The earth around her began to look like it was made by giant cotton balls. Suddenly, teal strings tied around her and she flailed and struggled, only to be pinned to the ground by the strings that were seemingly invincible. The air around them was becoming suffocating and crushing.

Eventually, her body also became corrupted, far beyond that of her surroundings. She looked like she was cut from crumpled paper. The world was tearing her apart.

“Do you wish to die as well?” asked a dark voice that sounded like it was coming from an ancient radio.

Dream found himself being wrapped in the same teal strings, but instead he was pulled through a portal and…

—-------------

Dream rolled off of the couch, hitting his head painfully on the coffee table. He groaned as he sat up. He looked around the rather humble living room he was in and remembered that he was still in Underswap with Ink. He clutched his chest as he panted heavily, slowly but surely calming himself.

“It was only a dream….”

–

Dream stared at the breakfast Indigo had made for them: Pancakes. They were perfect as always but, the dream he had gave him an odd feeling, and he couldn’t stop thinking over it. He took a deep breath and started eating, keeping his problems to himself—especially from Ink, who would just brush them off as per the new usual.

He did his best to not make eye contact with Carrot, who had been perplexed by his silence. He didn’t want to burden him or his brother, even though Indigo would be elated to talk to him whenever. But that idea just didn’t feel right to Dream. He considered Indigo a friend, sure, but not only did he not want any of them to worry about him, it’s just the resident Sans reminded him too much of someone he lost. Which was okay! It wasn’t Indigo’s fault.

It wasn't odd, though. Dream himself knew he was more than a bit on the hyperactively positive spectrum of a persona. He had no other choice in the matter, considering his situation. He couldn't give up hope. He had to hold on for dear life. Carrot always saw him be positive and hopeful. Always smiling. Even when he was coughing up blood, Dream remained hopeful.

But that dream he had that night…

Something about it made his soul hurt.

Something about it made him feel cold.

Dream found himself halfway through his pancakes, but he couldn't finish them. They were delicious but with the mindset he was in, he didn’t think he could stomach much more.

“I'm sorry… I guess I'm not that hungry…”

He felt like he had to run out of the house to try to get his emotions under control. He made his way deep into the Snowdin forest until he felt comfortable enough to just breathe. He paced back and forth trying to release the emotions but it wasn't enough. As he collapsed against a tree, he found the word that could describe what it was he was feeling.

Anxiety.

But why?

“You okay?”

Dream nearly jumped a foot in the air, finding Carrot was present, who was smoking a cigarette and staring at him.

“Um-”

“I know something's bothering you. You have the same look my brother had when he told me he was joining the guard.”

Shit. Of course Carrot would be able to read him. Dream rubbed his face and tried to calm himself. “I had a really bad dream and I don't know why it's bothering me so much.”

Carrot walked over and sat beside him, “Wanna tell me about it?”

Dream looked down at his gloved hands and shrugged. “Yeah… sure…”

Carrot didn't ask any questions as Dream described it which Dream appreciated. He just sat and listened. When Dream finished, Carrot exhaled a cloud of smoke and said “Sounds like hell.”

“What’s that?” Dream asked.

“Eh, this weird place that humans theorized their souls will go to if they commit too many bad things in their life, or are just plain evil. They say their souls will be tortured for all eternity.” Carrot shrugged.

“That's horrifying.” Dream frowned.

“Like that nightmare you had.” Carrot nodded.

“I don't know why I had it though…” Dream murmured.

There was a small moment of silence before Carrot got up, stretching his bones before taking a long drag to finish off his cigarette and using magic to dispose of the butt of it.

“Ya know, before you and Ink came here, I looked through the Royal Library a bit, and they have a lot of human books. Some humans have books on the symbolism of dreams and nightmares. Possible meanings and whether or not they can predict the future.” said Carrot, rotating his wrist.

“What's that supposed to mean?” asked Dream, his voice was a bit shaky.

“I mean, your nightmare could be your subconscious trying to tell you something. It could be that you're stressed out, but refusing to acknowledge it. Or something completely different, who knows. Your namesake isn't something anyone understands.” Carrot suddenly smiled. “It's best to not dwell on something that cryptic.”

Dream thought about it for a moment, nodded, and then got up.

“Come on, I want to go with you and Ink to that weird Doodlesphere-place that you two keep talking about. It sounds interesting.” Carrot smiled.

Dream smiled back a bit, still feeling a bit anxious but far more relaxed after talking to Carrot. He was such a good friend. When they both got back to Carrot’s house he and Blue talked a lot about what they were going to do for the day once Ink showed up. Dream ignored them and went through a small notebook he kept to himself. It listed the many things he wished to say to his own brother…

Nightmare.

That strange possession he went through. The destruction of their Alternate Universe (AU). All of it replayed in his head. He just wanted his brother back, but it always seemed impossible. He wanted to be able to reunite with his brother. He wanted to show his brother the many wondrous AUs he’s been to. He wanted to be able to just–

“Hey guys! I’m back!” Ink said, opening the door happily, his eyelights starry and bright.

Dream waved and Carrot gave a nod.

“You hungry?” Indigo asked, “I can–”

“Nope. Thanks, though!” Ink said, practically running over to Dream. “I found a really interesting Underfell timeline! It has no sign of human activity yet!”

Dream held back a grimace. “Great!”

“I know, right?” Ink exclaimed.

“Underfell?” Carrot asked.

“It’s an alternate universe where monsters are cartoonishly evil. They tend to kill each other and humans for even the most minor of reasons!” Ink explained. “It’s very cruel, but so different compared to most universes!” he looked back at Dream, “You have to come with me there. If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to find the human before any other monsters do! Wouldn’t that be interesting?”

“Or dangerous.” Dream mumbled. Charas tended to be genocidal depending on the AU. With it being an Underfell, the Chara there would be genocidal. But if they were a Frisk, they’d likely be sweet and kind, but it was always a fifty-fifty chance as to what he’d be walking into. He remembered the time Ink dragged him into a genocide run. The prospect of going to Underfell was not a good idea at all, and Ink wanting to interfere with its story, even on a small level, was a peculiar thing for Ink to make in general. Out of all his friend’s chaotic tendencies, that was the one decision Dream almost never saw Ink fall back on.

It piqued Carrot’s curiosity though. “Mind if I tag along?” Carrot asked.

Ink grinned, “Of course not!”

Ink went on and on about how interesting he found Underfell to be as he opened up a portal to the Doodlesphere.

“It just looks interesting to me! I mean an entire universe where everyone is cartoonishly evil villains is just… so weird and so funny to me!” Ink grinned as they walked through the bright void that was the Doodlesphere to find this AU.

Dream rolled his eyelights as he tried to tune it out. What Ink wasn’t saying was that this was the twelfth one they found in the past year, though this would be Carrot’s first interaction with one. Dream then paused as he heard in the distance a strange hissing sound. He turned around but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. He turned and saw that the others didn’t seem to hear it.

“I must be on edge…” he thought, “That dream really got to me.”

He caught up with them and followed Ink to this new timeline. Dream couldn’t help frown as he was annoyed with these ones, so the most he could say was that it gave him a strong dislike and discomfort. He couldn’t really function to his full capabilities because of the general and consistent lack of positivity available. He couldn’t make a portal out. He couldn’t be at top form there. The hate, the despair, it was overpowering. But he knew Nightmare loved those emotions. He loved it all. So Dream had no choice but to go there anyway. These AUs that give him a lack of access, solely locked away from him unless he followed Ink or anyone else capable of opening portals. He did his best to help out as much as he could regardless

He watched as Ink pointed at the page that was Underfell. “That one right there!” he used his brush to open a portal, and Dream sighed internally. This wasn’t going to be fun for him.

When they walked through the forest of the Snowdin of Underfell, Carrot looked around, amazed that it wasn’t that different from his own. It was when they were in the town that he found many differences. There were a lot of… destroyed and boarded-up buildings. It was sad to look at.

When a small Doggo Pup tripped and fell, he and Carrot helped them up, but they gave them a puzzled but confused and almost mortified look. But what became a new habit for him, Dream simply said, “You don’t owe us anything, just be careful next time. The snow can be so troublesome sometimes!”

The pup, still confused, just nodded their head and ran off as fast as they could in the opposite direction.

“What was that about?” Carrot asked.

“This universe doesn’t have a lot of kindness in any way. No sincerity or love. Just… hate, despair, and fear…” Dream grumbled, “They view acts of kindness as something that deserves payment with one’s own life- like selling your soul for food, or your autonomy for a shirt. That sort of thing. Not even one’s own family is an exception.” he shivered. The fact that these AUs existed made him feel a sense of disgust.

“That… is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” Carrot said, stunned.

It was when they walked to Waterfall that they were met with a terrifying sight. The cave walls were flickering in and out of reality, transforming from balls of cotton or sloshes of acrylic, pictures of the sea, or even many different clocks ticking down time as if counting down the minutes till… the sight was indescribable.

“Ink, what’s going on?” Dream asked, his voice trembling.

The resident Sans was blasting at the now clocks where the cave walls should be, but they turned into boulders, then crystals, then mirrors, then crayon scribbled on paper.

“I have no idea.” Ink said, looking around. The artist blinked multiple times, then shook his head, struggling to process the environmental scramble around them.

Carrot ran to Sans and quickly asked, “What’s going on?”

Sans flinched and turned to see Carrot, looking even more horrified. He tried to impale Carrot with a line of bones, but he teleported behind Sans and asked again, even grabbing him by the shoulders. “Look, I know I probably look like ya brother, but ya gotta calm down and tell me what’s happening. We’re here to help.”

Sans looked over at Dream and Ink who were in the process of investigation, even touching the cave wall. Dream even felt the shift in texture with each flicker.

“Y-... you can see it?”, Sans asked.

Carrot nodded.

“It’s been happening for weeks.” Sans said, “It’s been happening, but I’m the only one who can see it for some reason. No one believes me. They think that the Ruins and Hotlands are still there, but they’re not. They disappeared yesterday. But they can’t see that. Some just walk into the… nothingness and disappear!”

There was a loud bang and the reality cracked like glass. Ink summoned his paintbrush and made a new portal out. Dream ran over and said quickly as he pulled their hands, “We need to get out, now! ”

The entire universe was crumbling away into garbled code and dust. They jumped through the portal as everyone else seemed to not care. It was mayhem and maddening to witness. Reality didn’t look like reality. It was surreal and horrific, a corrupt infection. Dream would’ve thought he ate something contaminated or was sick – which was abnormal even for him, a rarity – but no, Carrot saw it too. Ink, who already had left the universe, saw something that he wasn’t at all expecting. The universe was falling apart, and there was no direct link to what caused it.

All the universes in the Doodlesphere looked like pieces of paper floating around, in this particular case, the piece of paper that personified Underfell burst into flames, soon blowing away in the form of ash.

The trio jumped through the portal and fell on top of Ink, who didn’t have time to dodge. His eyelights were rather large and fully a light violet, indicative of his worry.

“Are you all okay?” asked Ink.

Dream dusted himself off. He could feel his soul beating, magic racing, as though it wanted to jump right out of his ribcage and keep flying off.  It was just… terrifying.

Dream simply nodded, not wishing to speak for the other two.

“What the hell was that ?” asked Carrot, his tone harsh and a bit shaky.

“My universe…”, Sans couldn’t take his eyelights off of his reality, which was now reaching the final corner of the page and falling away into nothing, “It’s gone…”

He seemed to be in shock.

Ink shook his head, “I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Maybe Error figured out a way to—”

“Can’t be.” Carrot said, interrupting Ink. He lit a cigarette and put it between his teeth, took a long drag of it, and exhaled a long cloud of smoke as he took the cigarette with two fingers, “Error has never done anything like this from your stories or what I’ve seen. I doubt he’d even spend the time to figure it out.”

Dream nodded again, “It was… like I was dreaming, but it was real. How would he even…” he couldn’t continue.

“Nightmare, then?” Ink asked.

Dream shook his head. Ink must have forgotten. “No, Nightmare only wants to spread negativity, remember? And Killer has never displayed such… abilities? You know what I mean. Neither of them even have reality-destroying capabilities”

“Okay, can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”, Sans asked harshly. It took them a moment to remember… Sans had never encountered them until that day, let alone knew the concept of being an outcode.

They all glanced at each other, and in a silent agreement, they decided to go to their favorite hideout… Carrot’s timeline.

—---

It took almost three hours to explain what they could about their predicament.

"So… to simplify this bullshit," Sans grumbled as he pinched his brow bone. "You all are just running amok in this… Doodlesphere because your– " he pointed to Dream, "--brother is an insecure baby and decided to go around torturing people for his own benefit, and using a mentally broken version of us as his attack dog, and because you stupidly left him to his own devices before all of this, he turned out this way and you're actually genuinely surprised by this fact. And you –" he pointed at Ink, "are trying to stop another mentally broken version of us who has been completely transformed by the Anti-Void or gods or whatever and is trying to destroy universes because he views them as unnatural." He then looked at Carrot who was sitting with his older brother, Indigo, "And you two have been housing these two and are also basically if my universe wasn't bullshit and are mine and my brother's roles… just swapped."

"Basically," Carrot shrugged.

“I wouldn’t summarize it like that but yeah, pretty much!” Indigo replied.

Sans rolled his eyelights. "But you all seriously don't know what destroyed my world?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"I'm sorry, but we've never encountered anything like it." Carrot sighed.

"We'll figure it out though, I promise." Dream stated.

Sans didn't seem to believe him.

Indigo got up from his seat, and in an attempt to lighten the mood, stated he was going to get started on making dinner. Dream went off to help him.

He had offered to chop some tomatoes when Indigo spoke to him in a whisper. "Are you okay?"

Dream looked up from the cutting board, "Yeah, why?"

"Well this is the second time it's happened, isn't it?"

"Second time what happened?"

Indigo frowned, "That someone insulted your brother."

Dream paused. Now that he thought about it, he remembered when Carrot first encountered Nightmare.

The words rang out in his mind.

"Your brother is a demon."

Carrot did apologize for it. Hell, he even sensed that Carrot was still a bit apologetic over it. But why was Indigo asking about that?

"I thought you'd be angry about that… or at least a little upset," Indigo mumbled.

"Oh. No, I’m not.” Dream said simply.

Indigo looked at him with a confused expression. "...what do you mean by that?"

Dream paused his slicing again, "I can't blame them. I mean, they don't understand what's going on and even if they did, I still can't blame them. It does hurt a bit, but if anything, at some point, someday, I'll find a way to make it all stop. I won’t give up on my brother.”

Indigo gave him a very worried look but Dream returned it with a brave smile.

"I'm okay, I promise." Dream said.

The dinner was awkward, but Sans seemed to be adapting nicely. Dream had him take the couch while he himself worked with a sleeping bag in Indigo’s room. When he and Indigo were setting it up, they talked about how they could think of this like a sleepover. Come night, however, Dream couldn't sleep. He didn't know why. His mind was racing but never settling on a single thought or question. He looked over at the sleeping Indigo and frowned.

Yeah, he wasn't getting rest tonight.

He got up and got dressed as he tried to figure out something his mind could settle on. Perhaps he could focus on figuring out what happened to that Underfell timeline? Perhaps the whole universe as well, since the paper of it in the Doodlesphere vanished entirely. As he silently went down the stairs, he found that the light was on and that Sans was up, laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling.

Sans glanced over to Dream, "What's keeping you up?"

Dream gave a nervous laugh and went over, "Just can't stop thinking about what happened."

"You and me both." Sans grumbled, "It's so weird to see that Carrot guy… never thought I'd see a day where my little brother would be nice . Guess I was half right."

Dream shrugged and hummed, "I'll make us some hot chocolate."

Sans gave him an odd look, watching as Dream ran off to the kitchen.

He was even more put off by how the drinks looked. Whipped cream, a stick of cinnamon, chocolate shavings, sprinkles, and star shaped marshmallows.

He sat up and took the drink, mumbling a thanks. He didn't really know what else to say, but Dream didn't seem to care.

They sat in silence for a bit before Dream suddenly spoke up.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save your timeline, or your universe..."

Sans seemed a bit shocked by it but he shook his head, "It's fine. I mean, all that shit happened so suddenly and all of you did say you didn't know what was going on, so it makes sense you couldn't do much."

Dream could feel Sans was forcing his frustration down to try to be as understanding as possible.

"I know you're frustrated and confused about it all, and that’s okay." Dream said, "I just wish I could've done something to stop it. But I promise we'll find out who did it."

Fell finally gave a genuine smile.

"Thanks."

—--

The next day was rough, to say the least. They all decided to try and track down Error, much to Dream's confusion. Ink had insisted that no one else could be the culprit, he even thought of the perfect bait…

Chara.

Carrot, Dream, and Indigo were appalled, but couldn't argue with Ink properly when he was in one of his rare fixation modes. Sans was horrified when he saw Chara, even summoning a Gaster Blaster on the kid, but Carrot was able to get him to calm down.

Indigo couldn't help but call him Edge , because of how edgy Sans behaved. The nickname stuck.

Edge couldn't help it, and was annoyed but he was as unnerved by how the brothers were interacting with Chara. They were so cheery and calm, but the mere mention of Frisk sent them into a panic.

Edge then got the idea as to why they were going to use Chara as live bait, but at the same time, he was even more put off by it.

This had the possibility to fail, and real quickly at that. He and Dream tried to help Carrot and Indigo argue with Ink again, but the artist’s insistence persevered.

Going back to the Doodlesphere made Edge shiver. He hated how quiet it was.

He just hoped that everything went smoothly.

As they were wandering the blankness, Carrot holding tightly onto Chara's little hand, they saw something odd. Cobalt strings.

So many of them, tied around the pages that represented the other universes. All of them were strung up rather tightly and there were moments as though someone was lightly tugging on them, rippling the pages around the edges ever so slightly. Dream had paused, then summoned his bow, and attempted to shoot one of the universes free.

No success. If anything, the strings pulled tighter around their delicate hostages.

"What in the world?" Dream mumbled.

Ink seemed confused as well.

Carrot tried to blast them, but the strings remained. They continued walking a bit further, but the farther they went, the more strings they saw.

That's when Edge heard it. The sound of a piano playing a rather somber and lonely song, as though the piano itself was almost in mourning.

They followed the music, soon finding themselves before a rather unusual skeleton sitting alone at a classical piano, playing the gothic melody. Edge could just make out the name of the song on the pages that sat against the piano.

Lacrimosa D minor.

It was such a slow and methodical tune.

The odd skeleton paid them no mind. Edge noticed that the strings all tied to each other and led down to the stranger's fingers.

The odd skeleton's bones were all black minus for his phalanges, which were in an odd coloration. His hoodie was also black with golden fur. His glasses were red and greenish. The oddity of all oddities as Edge was concerned.

He looked up from his piano when he finished with the final notes and grinned with a mouth of golden teeth.

Edge couldn't help but get the feeling that something was beyond off here.

Dream could feel it too. That emotion… It was such an odd one. Why was Error satisfied with everything? Especially their presence. But it also felt malicious. Dark… so much darker than what Dream was used to sensing from the destroyer.

"What did you do to Edge's AU, Error?" Ink asked harshly.

Error clicked his tongue and got up from his seat, then snapped his fingers.

The pain was unbearable. It was so little but so much- like being burned from the inside out.

Strings went straight through everyone except Chara. They kept everyone still, but the decision to kill wasn’t made. Why?

That's when Error summoned Chara’s soul with blue magic and dragged them closer.

Error touched the tear-streak-like stripes on his skull, summoning more strings to appear but rather, they were on the tips of his fingers, as though they were claws. He reared back his hand.

There was a crack, then a scream, and blood sprayed from the wound.

Why was there so much blood?

Chara fell, but before they could hit the ground, Error kicked them over to Carrot just as the strings that were once holding everyone were retracted. Before anyone could react, Error pulled the last string, and the Doodlesphere erupted into an explosion of shredded paper.

Edge couldn't take his eyes off Chara, the horrified look on the child’s face burning into his memory. The hole in their chest where a heart should have been hardly seemed to matter in comparison.

Where did the piano go?

Dream shot an arrow at Error, but it was stopped by something. He couldn't see what it was until the arrow landed behind him.

A string?

What kind of magic was this? Since when could Error’s strings deflect projectiles?

Error fidgeted with the human’s heart, trailing a claw down the middle before stripping the flesh, revealing the soul inside. He wrapped it in the strange strings, where it disappeared in quick succession.

Then Error too disappeared, as though he was a computer program that was causing the mainframe to glitch uncontrollably.

Edge and Dream were jumped back to reality again. The first thing they registered was the despair of the Underswap brothers, and the confused murmurings of Ink.

Lacrimosa.

Edge put a hand on Carrot's shoulder.

"Let's.. go back to your world… we can't leave them here… ya know?"

Carrot gave a mournful nod as Dream opened up a portal to the Underswap universe.

Lacrimosa.

The burial was quick. The Queen, Toriel, made sure of that. She was distraught with the whole ordeal, but she made Carrot, Dream, and Indigo, and even Edge himself, promise to never allow Ink to drag a human out to the Doodlesphere ever again.

They agreed.

She was being lenient, Edge had noted.

Asgore would've had their heads for that…

Their Asgore couldn't stop crying.

Never had he'd seen him as such a softy…

Lacrimosa.

Days passed and they still hadn't heard from Ink. They were visited by Alphys – the buff head of the Royal Guard – and Undyne – the Royal Scientist and a total twig.

Undyne was fascinated with Edge but more concerned about her friends. When he got the chance to, he finally asked her a question he had been wondering for a while.

He had to grab her hand, causing her to jump a little, her scales barely hid the deep blush she had when she looked at him. “Um hey… uh I have a question for ya…”

Stars, if she blushed any more, her glasses would fog up. Can she calm down for a second? She stammered, “Sure! Sure. What’s the question?”

"What does Lacrimosa mean?"

"Oh? Uh…" Undyne cleaned her classes as she spoke, "It means weeping , or tearful . Why?"

Edge felt his soul run cold as he took his hand back.

Weeping or tearful?

It was a somber song.

Slow and uneasy.

There were so many strings.

The pain.

He had the piano there.

"He planned it out…" Edge said in a whisper. "That was the name of the song that Error guy was playing…"

How the hell was he going to explain it to the others? Fuck…. He wasn’t exactly the gentle type.

[newtonsheffield]

Till forever falls apart is becoming my favourite story you’ve ever written. The yearning, the hard times, the light moments and all while going through something traumatic. It just gets me every time. Brava Molly, you’ve truly outdone yourself. Any chance we can see post war Kathony being cute together 😍 I’ll take anything you’d give me

I'm so glad people are enjoying it. I know it has a bit of a different feel to my other fics but it's maybe my favourite current WiP so... yeah. I'm enjoying writing it.

Let's see a little bit of Anthony's bookshop

"Papa! A person!"

Anthony chuckled as the bell chimed over the door alerting him to the person anyway. Anthony put down the books he was reshelving, picked up his cane and made his way back through the store.

Anthony sighed as he look at his son, scrambling down from the counter to greet the customer, all enthusiasm at just two years old.

"I'm Neddy, you wanna book?

The man blinked down at him a little surprised, twirling his hat around, "I... Is there someone else...?"

"Hello, can I help you?"

The man seemed to relax but still he looked around a little awkwardly, "I'm looking for a book for my nephew, I'm not sure what he might like."

Anthony smiled, picking his son up and resting him on his hip, kissing his head quickly, "Well our children's books are over this way I'm sure we can find you something."

"This is my favourite one." Neddy said thrusting a book at the man, "It's about a rabbit named Peter."

Anthony smiled down at his son and his heart leapt into his throat. He couldn't believe it sometimes, even after so long. He couldn't believe he'd come through the war mostly unscathed when so many men hadn't. There were so many men that he'd known since childhood and gone to school with who would never get to do this. Better men, arguably, than he had been. And yet he was the one left here.

He might have been dragged to his lowest point, sure, he'd stood on the grass at Thriplow house and sweat had run down his forehead as he'd tried to take a single step. And inexplicably, Kate had been there every step of the way. Her hands had held his and her voice had been gentle in his ear when they laid side by side under the sunlight.

I'm falling in love with you

He'd promised himself he'd be someone who was worth the chance he'd been given. He would live his entire life, love his wife and their children and he'd be present for them. He'd stood in their bedroom, with Neddy in his arms for the very first time and he hadn't even bothered to stop the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Kate, I love him so much. I love you so much."

Anthony had promised himself he was going to spend as much time as possible with his children. Even here in this little store.

The man smiled at Edmund, taking the book from his hand. "I think I'll get this one then, excellent recommendation sir."

"Thank you." Neddy said, leading the man to the counter, "I help my Papa with the books."

"You do a great job."

"He does do a pretty good job."

Anthony started at the sound of his wife's voice, spinning towards where she'd snuck through the door while he was distracted. She was still dressed in her uniform, her coat pulled tight around herself, the swell of her stomach just becoming visible.

"Mama!" Neddy squeaked, abandoning the man who'd been trying to slide his money across the counter to him in favour of hugging his mother around the legs, bouncing with excitement.

Anthony smiled at the man and took his money, passing him his change before he wrapped the book in brown paper. "I hope your nephew enjoys it."

"You have a beautiful family."

"I know, I'm very lucky."

The bell rang above the door as the man left and finally, he turned his attention to Kate.

"Everything all right?"

Kate chuckled, leaning against him, tucking herself into his side, Neddy wrapping his arms around both of their legs. "Everything's fine I was just walking home and I thought why not check on my handsome boys?"

"We appreciate it." Anthony kissed her cheek, resting his hand on her stomach, "How're my girls?"

"Your wife's fine, and your son is doing well also."

"Say what you will, but this is a girl."

"It isn't." Kate clicked her tongue, "You look handsome today though, I like this sweater vest."

"Yes, a pretty girl made it for me."

"Charmer."

"I try my best."

[vergilthelibrarian]

YanSuperhero!JohnnyxGN!Reader

Warnings: mentions of death, yandere shenanigans.

You blinked, tears rolling down your face as you stared at your mother’s grave.

The cops couldn’t even call you when your mom was killed, seeing it as a victory as one less villain was gone.

You fell down to your knees, grabbing the tombstone, sobbing.

Your mother was a complicated woman but the love she gave you, the warmth and joy she had with you… knowing that this was how you get say goodbye to her tore your heart apart.

You cried harder knowing that the last time you talked to her, you both argued with one another.

Honestly, you can’t even remember what the fight was about now that she was gone.

“Hey…” you felt a gentle touch on your back.

“You know your mom wouldn’t want you crying like this.” Kun chuckled, his hand rubbing your back.

“I know- I just… I just can’t believe she’s gone.”

“I could bring her back you know?”

You turn your head to face Kun, his brown eyes filled with warmth and compassion.

“I know.” You sighed. “I don’t want her to come back. She should rest.” You turn your head back to the tombstone, your crying had subsided. “She never got to rest.”

Some few minutes passed and you and Kun looked up to see Jungwoo running towards you too.

“Guys! I got some news.”

“Not right now-“

“Word on the street is, a hero killed Lily.” He cut Kun off.

Your eyes widen in shocked.

“What?” You asked in disbelief.

Jungwoo nodded.

“That’s what I was told so you should take it with a grain of salt. But yeah, apparently, your mom was killed by a superhero. It seemed deliberate too.”

You turned to look back at Kun who was just as shocked as you.

Superheros don’t kill.

They don’t even kill villains.

It was against their code to kill.

“That… that’s not possible. Could it had been an anti-hero? A vigilante?”

Jungwoo shook his head sadly.

“No. I heard it was a superhero.”

Kun began getting up, gently bringing you along with him.

“Come on. You need to get some rest.”

~~

You couldn’t watch the news.

You didn’t like going outside.

Everyone was rejoicing the death of your mother and though you understandably knew why, it still hurt to see.

If there was one thing you wanted, it was to know who was the superhero the took your mother’s life.

It seemed as though the police were keeping it a secret as they wouldn’t even tell the public who so desperately wanted to know who their savior was.

Some days past and you were still in Kun’s house.

Your mother and him were… close friends to say the least, Kun being a mad scientist of sorts, helping your mother’s powers become stronger by make serums for her.

He was way older than he looked mostly because of him creating 2 serums. One was to stay young forever and the other was for immortality which kind of drove him a bit insane. But hey, insanity was a requirement to be a villain and even to be a hero for that matter.

You went downstairs, going to the kitchen for something to eat.

As you walked through the living room, you saw the TV was on.

Kun liked leaving on the TV for his cats whenever he was gone.

What had stopped you though was what was on the screen.

Words that read: The Hero that weeded out Lily of the Valley.

Your mother’s killer was on the screen giving an heroic speech.

You walked closer to the TV and gasped.

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

There was no way it was him…

“Johnny?”

Your childhood friend was standing in front of a podium a national television, smiling proudly as he talked about his heroic deed.

Childhood is a weird thing when you’re a kid with superpowers.

You either go to a private school were mostly all the superhero kids went to or went to an unknown school where all the villains kids went to, that is if your parent wasn’t too paranoid to even let their kid go to a somewhat public school.

Johnny and you had went to the same schools up until the 11th grade when you left the city to live in the countryside with your grandmother as she was ill.

Johnny, like you, came from a family of villains.

Nearly everyone in his family were villains.

Johnny, just like you, wasn’t interested in anything involving supes and villains. In fact, he vowed to never be apart of it.

When did that change?

You turned off the TV, sitting down on the floor as you begin to feel dizzy.

You wanted to vomit.

You felt so many emotions yet so numb.

You wanted to cry but you practically ran out of tears.

Being a child of a villain was quite possibly a cruel fate.

~~

You had began leaving Kun’s house to go into the city from time to time.

Luckily, no one knew that your mother was Lily of the Valley so you were able to walk around freely with no fear.

You had found a small cafe which was tucked in an alleyway on a street that was usually empty.

You began frequenting it as it was never crowded, nice, and the smell of caffeine in the air was simply inviting.

You decided to go today and the lights in the cafe was dim. Sweet Love by Anita Baker was playing softly and you were lost in your thoughts, staring at the cup of coffee in your hands.

These past few weeks felt like a dream. Nothing felt real to you. But everything was real and you hated it so.

Being so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the man who took a seat opposite of the booth you were in.

“You seem pretty upset.” You heard, causing you to look up only for your heart to drop.

You didn’t say anything, only stared at him, a scowl written onto your features.

Johnny laughed.

“Oh come on! You can’t say hi to me?” He grinned.

“Fuck you.” You spat.

Johnny leaned back, eyes closed, his hands going on his heart, mocking a pain expression.

He opened his eyes to look back at you, leaning close to the table.

“Ow! That’s so mean.” He pouted.

“Oh shut the fuck up Johnny!” You shouted, not caring for the few people in the cafe who gave you some concerned glances.

“How did you even find me anyway?”

“I followed you obviously.” His hand crept towards one of your hands that was holding your drink. “I’ve been following you since you finally came into the city… though I thought you would’ve stayed at a hotel or something.”

He sighed.

“You make it so hard to find you, you know that right?”

You frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

Johnny scoffed.

“You know what I’m talking about. I killed your mom for a reason.” His hand soon came on top of yours and when your tried to move it, he gripped your hand tight.

It wasn’t too painful but it had you whimpering slightly.

“I mean… how else was I suppose to get you back here hm?” He whispered, all the amusement gone from his eyes and voice.

“You killed my mom so I can come back to this city?” You looked at him in disgust.

“And it worked.”

Your jaw hurt from just how hard you was gritting your teeth.

“Why?” Was all you could ask.

“Because you left before I could say I love you.”

You snapped.

Before you knew it, you had use the plants in the cafe to go around Johnny’s neck, his grip on your hand being released.

Johnny was strong and you knew he would be able to tear the small plants wrapped around his neck off of him so you took this as a chance to run out of the cafe as fast as you could.

Nothing compared to Johnny’s strength.

He was just too damn strong.

You pushed the door of the cafe open, running down the alley as fast as you could only to feel strong arms squeeze around you so tight, you swore your spine was gonna break in half.

“You’re in the city baby. Your powers are weak here.”

“LET ME G-“ you felt his hand wrapped around your lips.

Johnny laughed as you desperately tried to leave his hold but you both knew it was no use.

“You left me before and I’m making sure you won’t leave me again. Ever.” He grin victoriously.

[zentraex]

Chapter 7 - It’s okay

Masterlist

After our "date", I never saw Tomura again. Meanwhile, more than a month passed and my apartment is as empty as before his show up.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's not a big deal. Just carry on like before! Keep your head up high! What's so bad about it anyway? Why so sad? It was clear from the beginning: he won't stay.

...

But why do I hope every time I walk into my apartment that he's sitting on the couch, watching the TV, like always?

Why does my heart ache so much when I think about his disappearance? He took everything with him, without saying a single word. Gone, with my keys.

Sighing, I slip out of my comfy clothes and change. Today is Sunday. The fresh air will make my head clear.

As I step out of the door, the sun greets me with its warm ray. Relieved, I take a deep breath. My feet guide me to a small coffee shop in the city center, then through the door and then I'm already sitting on a table next to the window.

Suddenly, my hair on the back of my neck stand up and a shiver runs down my spine. After my date with Tomura, this became a regular thing. I told myself, that this is just some kind of newfound paranoia and nothing to worry about.

I take three deep breaths and feel how my body relaxes. It doesn't take long until a waiter comes to take in my order. My gaze shifts to the city life outside of the coffee shop.

Too deep in thoughts, I don't even realize that somebody takes a seat before me.

"Oh? Do you want to order something too?" asks the waiter, who places my coffee in front of me. Totally shocked, my eyes widen as I analyze the person - black hoodie, sweatpants and white hair, too long to be covered by the hood.

"No," rings the rough voice. After I swallow the thick lump in my throat, I thank the waiter, who forms his hand to a telephone while giving me a note.

My cheeks are warming up, which doesn't last long.

Ahhh..right. The stranger.

Nervous, I play with my hands.  The men clicks his tongue as he grabs the note and turns it immediately to dust.

Wait..what?

"Unbelievable...I was gone for just a while and here you are, looking for another men already, Reader. I really thought you missed me."

Then the penny drops.

My eyes widen as I recognize the voice.

"Tomura?"

Immediately, anger flows through my veins and my hand clenches to a fist.

"What do you want?" I asks as calm as possible, but I am sure that he can sense my fury.

"What do you think? Talking of course."

"I don't want to talk with you. Give me my house key back!"

It stays quiet for a a while.

"Watch your mouth. Don't let this end up badly."

"You disappear without saying a word and show up like nothing happened. You have some nerve to expect me to stay kind!"

"I had things to do."

All I can do is roll my eyes. Is he kidding?

"Ohhh of course! Like stumping on my heart? I hope it was fun!"

Looking at the coffee I frown, my rage getting the better of me.

"Yeah, how stupid of me - always following the wrong people. I never learn, huh?"

Standing up and looking for the money, I say, "You know what? I also have things to do."

"Sit down, Reader", Tomura warns, but I ignore him and storm out. Tears are running down my face and an incredibly painful feeling spreads in chest.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Stop crying! He doesn't care at all! Be strong! Megan was so much worse!

...

Was she?

The pain feels so much more different. Even though I was so angry, a small part of me was still happy to see him.

Did I fell in love with him?

Is this the reason why everything hurts so much?

Sobbing, I walk home, to the stairwell and then to the door. My sight: blurred.

Shit. Why am I not able to open the door?

As i wipe away my tears, new ones are already blocking my view. Sighing, I lean my head against the door and take a moment. After calming down a bit, I manage to open it. It takes me a moment to realize everything.

Huh?

I rub my eyes and walk deeper into my apartment. Way too stunned by the sight, my tears stopped running entirely.

Gone. Everything is gone.

And then my eyes start to water again, as I kneel at the ground.

What am I supposed to do now? How can something even happen?

My house door opens and Tomura enters. With my hazy sight, I can barely make out his movement as he kneels to me and lays a hand on my cheek. His thumb wipes away my tears.

Speechless and aghast, I can only watch how he pulls the hood from his head and gazes at me with a huge smirk.

"Everything is gone, huh? What do we do now? There is now way that you can live here. Am I right, Reader?"

"Are you behind this?" I asks downhearted. My heart aches with disappointment.

"Do you remember our conversation in the coffee shop? That you should behave?"

I nod weakly.

"Well, you wanted the hard way. That's all your doing."

It's okay.

"Here is another decision..."

It's okay.

"You will come with me voluntarily or I'll force you."

It's okay.

Relax! Play smart! You lost all you posses, what's the big deal? Go with him! Don't make it harder than it has to be!

Sobbing, I grab his hand and his smirk goes only wider. How is this even possible?

"Good choice," he says and holds a cloth over my face.

Everything goes black.

It's okay. Everything will be okay...right?

----

@repostingmyfavs

[anonbutitsky]

It's been 2 weeks.

(im super bored so enjoy a post whizzer death marvin trina fic)

The Aftermath of His Death

It’s been 2 weeks since Whizzer’s funeral. Or has it? Time isn’t a thing Marvin understands right now. He’s not in the present. If you asked him what day it was he would simply not know. He’s not over him. How could he be? They were just getting better at being in a relationship.

Thoughts are a thing Marvin has and doesn’t. He feels so empty and full of it at the same time. He looks like he’s watching T.V. but in reality, his mind is wandering somewhere. Back to his passed lover.

*Knock Knock.*

He doesn’t realize it at first.

*Knock Knock.*

He wished he could’ve done more to help.

*Knock Knock Knock.* “Marvin are you there?”

His brain shocks back to life as he realizes someones been knocking.

“Shit, wait wait,” Marvin says as he rushes to open the door. It’s Trina. Trina, his ex-wife. Trina, the mother of his child. Trina, his best friend.

She looks well. Like the world didn’t crumble. Meanwhile, Marvin doesn’t look too great. He’s getting scruffy and the apartment doesn’t look well maintained.

“Trina.. What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Jason?”

“Jason’s fine Marv, I just wanted to check up on you.”

This isn’t the first time Trina has tried to check up on him. Trina offered Marvin to sleep at her house after the funeral but Marvin refused. Charlotte and Cordelia also tried to check up on Marvin a few days ago, but with no luck, he didn’t answer the door. Thats when they called Trina to help.

“Like I told you on the phone, I’m fine.”

“Your clearly not.”

Trina barges in through the door to see the absolute state of his apartment. It’s a mess.

“We’re worried about you.”

Marvin scoffs and laughs it off. “There’s no need to be worried. It’s already been what, a week or two?”

“Marvin, it’s only been 3 days,” Trina says in a serious and worried tone.

Marvin stares in shock. “Oh. I guess I have my dates wrong.” He lets out a forced chuckle.

A moment of awkward silence passes through.

“Um- how’s Jason?” Marvin says to break the silence.

“Not good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You remember Jason, he always thinks he can handle everything by himself.”

“Yeah.” Marvin chuckles at the thought.

“…Just like his father.”

Marvin rolls his eyes at that thought. “I told you I’m fine Trina.”

“Your not. And your son needs you. He needs his father to see that it isn’t the end of the world.”

“Yeah.…”

Another awkward silence passes.

Trina speaks up. “So are you fine?”

“……..No.”

“Okay, come here Marv.”

Trina opens her arms for him. He slowly goes in for a hug. He didn’t expect it, but tears start streaming out. He starts holding her so tightly, like he doesn’t want her to go the way Whizzer did. So she stays til it’s night and then brings Marvin home to sleep at her place.