#the way my body suddenly became cold when I read the text and realized they really don't give a fuck about me

[notsooriginaltrash]

One of the most gut punching things that has happened in 2023 so far is my childhood best friend of maybe 15+years who knows very well that I self-harm coming to me for advice how to deal with it for some random girl, despite never asking how to help me

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Sweeter Than Revenge Part 3

Fandom: Twisters, Tyler Owens, f!reader, Scott's Sister!reader Summary: After your "date" with Tyler took an unexpected turn, you wake up to see Scott confronting the cowboy about your disappearance. Word Count: 2045 TW: Fluff, Angst, Family Conflict, Confrontation, Yelling, Language Notes: A massive thank you to @blue-aconite and @green-socks for reading this over for me and for all the constant support! And to @mayhem24-7forever for always answering my late-night panicked messages

Divider created by me (please ask/credit before using)

Series Masterlist

“Where the fuck is she, Owens!” 

As your eyes flickered open, you realized you were no longer lying on Tyler’s chest in the bed of his truck. Instead, you were curled in the back seat, one of his merch t-shirts balled up under your head and his jacket draped over your body as a makeshift blanket. Your head was positioned near the passenger side of the truck and, lifting it slightly, you noticed the driver’s door was open. Tyler was standing outside as if he had just climbed out, the little you could see of his surroundings revealing he had driven you back to the motel.

He turned towards whoever had just spoken—the voice was very familiar even though your sleep-hazed mind couldn’t place it—and held up his hands. “Why don’t we all just calm down an—”

“No!” Suddenly, Scott burst into view as he stormed up to Tyler, stopping only when he was practically chest-to-chest with him. Scott towered a good five or six inches over the other man, yet Tyler didn’t as much as flinch as Scott growled in his face. “I asked you a question. Where the fuck is she?”

Tyler stared calmly at Scott’s fuming face for a moment then chuckled. “Can’t say I’ve ever seen you lose your cool like this before, Scotty. In fact, can’t say I’ve seen much more than a sarcastic sneer from you before. Something must have riled you up real good for you to be in this state.” Tyler’s voice had slowed, his accent becoming twice as heavy as before as he milked every second in an attempt to push Scott’s buttons—and it was working.

Nostrils flaring, Scott yelled, “How about the fact you’ve been alone with my little sister for the past four hours? I’ve been trying to call and text her but she hasn’t answered.” 

You suddenly realized you had tucked your phone into your purse when you left the motel room. The purse that you had then placed on the passenger’s seat when Tyler helped you down after parking in the field so you could both go eat your food in the bed of his truck. The one you had completely forgotten about until just now. Oops.

But Tyler didn’t offer any such explanation. “We were busy,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. “Besides, are you really worried about her, or are you just worried she was having a good time with someone like me?”

“If you laid a single finger on her—”

“No. You don’t get to do that.” The smug grin that had been on Tyler’s face evaporated as he became stone-serious. Whatever game he had been playing was now over. He took a step forward, this sudden shift causing Scott to stumble back in surprise. “You don’t get to play caring, protective older brother when just a few hours ago you basically told her to fuck off because you didn’t want her here. I understand you two might have a complicated history, but family isn’t something you can pick and choose when it's convenient for you. You didn’t want anything to do with her after she traveled all this way just to see you, so you don’t get a say in what she does now.”

Scott recovered slightly, but though he tried to bite back with the same fury as before, it seemed dulled by the force of Tyler’s words. “And you do?”

“No, I don’t. Only she does.” Tyler started to turn towards his open door but then thought better of it and faced Scott again. Lowering his voice, he said, “You know, I used to think you were in the wrong truck. That you should be in Tin Man instead of Scarecrow considering how cold and uncaring you seemed. But I was wrong. You may have your fancy degree from a world-class university yet you are too brainless to see that all she’s looking for is just a little of your attention and love. And if you aren’t willing to give that to her, you can’t get mad when she finds someone else who will.”

Scott sneered at Tyler. “You’ve known her for a few hours and you think you know her better than someone who’s known her her entire life?”

“Yeah. I do.” 

The back door to the truck flung open and you blinked up at the bright lights shining in. Tyler stood in the door with a halo of neon light framing his silhouette, anger rolling off of him in waves. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes burned beneath his cowboy hat. However, when he saw you staring up at him, his expression softened. Giving you a small smile, he murmured, “Hey, sweetheart. You want me to carry you to your room or you think you’re awake enough to walk?”

Stretching to help wake up your limbs from where you had been curled, you sat up. “I can walk.” Ducking your head to hide the bashful smile fluttering on your lips, you added a soft, “Thanks though.” 

Grabbing your purse off the front seat, you started to crawl towards the door when Tyler offered you his hand. You took it and slid out, a small cloud of dust bursting up around your ankles as your boots hit the dirt. Tyler reached back into the truck, grabbed his jacket, and wrapped it around your shoulders before placing his arm on top of it, hugging you close to his body. The warmth radiating off of him and the smell of his skin made you want to snuggle deeper into him and drift back to sleep. 

Maybe you should have taken him up on his offer to carry you after all.

As he began to steer you towards the stairs leading to your room, you noticed Scott standing by the rear of the truck with his arms folded across his chest. The two of you made eye contact for just a moment, but you quickly looked away. You didn’t like the look in your brother’s eyes—the seething anger and blatant disappointment you were used to, but it was that hint of something else that made you turn away and lean your head against Tyler’s shoulder. If you didn’t know Scott better, you would almost say he looked hurt. But that couldn’t be possible because Scott would have to care about you for him to be hurt by Tyler’s words or by seeing you together.

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything else as Tyler helped you climb the stairs. Letting out a soft sigh of relief when your brother disappeared from view, you whispered, “Thank you. For standing up to Scott for me.”

“You heard that?” You nodded against Tyler’s shoulder and you felt him shift beneath you. “Yeah, well, he had the right to be worried about you, but he also needed to be reminded he wasn’t a saint in this situation. Besides, you’re an adult and can spend time with whoever you want.”

You hummed a soft agreement before, a few dozen steps later, reluctantly pulling yourself away from Tyler as you reached the correct door. “Well, this is me.” 

He watched as you unlocked the door and stepped inside. Turning to face him, you said, “I know I already said it, but thank you…for everything. I-I really needed that, out in the field. It helped. And while today did not go at all how I expected, I’m actually very happy with how it turned out.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” 

The two of you continued smiling at each other and you weren’t exactly sure what you were supposed to do next. But just as you started to close the door, Tyler leaned his shoulder against your door frame and said, “Hey, whether you’re done messing with Scott or not, I’d like to see you tomorrow.”

You blinked, butterflies blooming in your chest. “R-really?”

“Yeah. I had a really nice time tonight. It’s not every day I meet someone like you and I’d like to see more.”

Someone like me? You briefly flashed back to yourself sobbing into his chest in the bed of his truck and wondered what he could have possibly seen in you that he would want to see more of. However, you weren’t going to pass up this chance if he was offering. 

Fidgeting with the strap on your purse, you nodded, “I’d like to see more of you too. Maybe you could let me come on a chase with you or something?”

Tyler’s dimples made your breath catch in your throat as his smile widened. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more interesting…I would love to take you on a chase. Show you what it means to wrangle a tornado. How ‘bout I pick you up in the morning around 7:30?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Nodding, Tyler reached out and took your hand. For a moment, you were taken aback. You might not have known each other long, but after everything that had happened tonight, it felt weird for him to end it by shaking your hand. But then he lifted it, his face disappearing beneath the brim of his hat as he dipped his head, and his lips brushed the back of your hand. 

The kiss was brief and faint, just a soft caress on your skin contrasted by the rough scratch of his stubble, yet you felt a jolt of electricity surge up your arm before traveling throughout your entire body. You were so glad your other hand was still clinging to the door because, without it to steady you, you were sure your knees would have given out. 

Tyler didn’t seem to notice as he straightened up and gently lowered your hand to your side, giving it a light squeeze before releasing it. Then, with a tip of his hat and a wink, he said, “Good night,” and strolled back down the walkway towards the stairs.  

You watched him go until he disappeared. Only then did you close your door, leaning heavily on it with a sigh. Your head thudded back against the sturdy metal as you replayed every moment from the night in your head.

What were you doing? Had this really all started as a game, a way to pay Scott back for how he treated you? Now Tyler was planning on picking you up the next morning after you spent most of tonight crying into his chest? And why did you feel so giddy about seeing him again?

Tyler wasn’t at all what you had expected from his videos or from what Scott had said about him. Sure, he had a wild, playful side, but more than that, he was funny and kind and smart and, to top it all off, a perfect gentleman. You can’t remember the last time someone had treated you with so much respect or consideration. He never tried to make a move or insinuate you owed him for the fact that he was doing you a favor. And even when he pulled you into his arms where it would have been easy to take advantage of your emotional state, he had only sought to comfort you and make sure you were okay. 

Then he had to go and kiss your hand like some handsome cowboy prince charming! What the fuck.

Pushing yourself off the door, you went over and grabbed a towel off the edge of the sink before disappearing into the dingy bathroom. Tyler’s scent still clung to your skin and you almost didn’t want to wash it off. However, the desire to rinse away the remaining tears from your face and feel the hot water streaming down your exhausted, tense muscles won out. You would just have to find another excuse to cozy up to Tyler again tomorrow. Maybe another meal next to him in the back of the truck. Or resting on his shoulder as you both watched the storm clouds roll in. Or pressing yourself against him as you leaned in—

It was only then that the full weight of your situation hit you. This might have started out as an act of revenge on Scott, but the joke was now on you. After only one day, you were falling fast and hard for Tyler Owens.

Part 4 coming 9/2!

[pokelec]

It started with a broadcast during one of my days off. My partner and I were marathoning movies on the couch. We both laid down, their arms wrapped around my body as though to stop me from listing off painful historical inaccuracies. Then news footage of some city interrupted us with the tagline "New Villain Named Bane of Existence Causes Chaos".

"Oh, I remember that guy," I said, not really thinking about what I said.

"Huh? Wait, do you know this guy?!" my partner asked, pointing at the screen.

"No... I just remember this guy from a while back."

"Really? I've never heard of this guy."

"No way, surely-" I read the text again. 'New Villain Named Bane of Existence', it said.

I think my hands tensed up and began fidgeting because my partner then asked, "Are you okay? You don't look so hot."

I opened and closed my mouth repeatedly like a fish while deciding if I was finally going to be honest to them. Before I knew it, I said "Do you... remember how you got you powers?"

"Yeahhh?" At the mention of super powers, a bag of barbeque chips manifested in their hands. "It was some weird virus. Is this going to turn into a class session, O Great Historian?"

I love when my partner calls me that. Normally the silliness of it makes me smile, but not this time. "And when did that happen?"

They hummed. "A few years ago?"

I took in a sharp breath. ""A few years ago"... It's always a few years ago."

My partner opened the bag of chips. "Always?"

I sat up on the couch, out of my love's embrace. "Did I ever tell you why I became a historian?"

"It was because you like learning and digging up stuff and solving mysteries, right?"

"That's not wrong. But... There's another reason. ...If I asked you a few years ago - damn, I hate those words so much. If I asked you a while back where your powers came from, you would've said it was from a nuke fallout."

"...Okayyy." My partner decided to sit up as well. "But wasn't there a big thing about disarming the nukes a few ye- a long time ago?"

"And if I asked someone even further back in my life, they would've said it was from a comet that shed alien dust. And before that, it would've been when an earthquake opened up the ground and there were these holes..." I covered my face with my hands and rubbed my temples. I was getting a headache.

My partner suddenly had a bottle of water in their hand. "Here."

"Thank you." I grabbed the bottle from their hand. "...It's room temp."

"Hey, do you want it or not?" My partner's power let them teleport a food or drink from nearby into their hands, but things got tricky when there are multiple of the same item in the same place.

I opened the bottle and took a swig of lukewarm water. "...Here's the thing. I've had these moments since I was kid. For a handful of years, the world is one way and everyone knows that a bunch of people got superpowers from... Well, from my earliest memories, it was a meteorite that caused an ice age in addition to super powers. That's what I knew. That's what we all knew. Hell, my...!" I take another sip of water. "...My dad left. I remember my mom rocking me to sleep as she used her "magic" to keep me warm in that wet, cold cave. I fell asleep... and when I woke up, I was back at my house. It was bright outside, unlike anything I'd ever seen. My mom and dad were down stairs. I asked about where dad went and about the cave... they had no idea what I was talking about. They thought I was just really imaginative, but when they realized I truly believed that a meteor destroyed the world and made people get magic, they took me to a psychologist. After all, people really got powers from weird butterflies that bonded to them a few years ago. Everyone knew that."

My partner just sat next to me, not adding anything to the conversation yet. I didn't look at them, so I could only guess what their expression was. They continued to eat their chips, at least.

"And a couple years later, it happened again. It happens every... handful of years. Reality keeps changing, and the thing that caused a ton of people to get powers a few years ago is different. The reason I became a historian is so that I have access to as many pieces of history and documents as possible so that I can figure out what the hell changed every time this happens!"

I look to my partner. They finished the bag of chips and now had a box of oreos. "Okay... so. Um. Do you... know why this happens?"

"You don't have to pretend to believe me."

"What if I want to?"

"Then... uh, I don't really know for sure why it keeps happening, but I have a feeling. I like to keep tabs on the news with heroes and villains. Oh! Before I forget, I remember Bane of Existence from back when the cause of the powers was comet dust. That's how I knew him. Sometimes the same heroes and villains appear in each shift, sometimes they don't!"

"I see..."

"Anyway, I think... I think the shifts happen when either a villain is close to winning or we're close to world peace. It's only a theory, but I think someone goes back in time to try and stop the villain or hero from getting their powers. I think."

"That... makes sense. Oh!" Eager energy returned to my partner's demeanor. "Do you think you can find the guy who keeps doing this and make them stop?!"

"I'm... not sure if it's the same person each time. And truth be told..."

"Are you worried because you don't have powers? Maybe we could get a real hero to help you!"

"...My love, how can I prove any of this to anyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it! The reality is, all the thing I remember happening are just memories. I'm the only one that remembers any of this! The meteorite was destroyed before it hit Earth, the butterflies were destroyed, the earthquake was just a normal quake, the comet passed by peacefully, and the nukes were never used. How can you prove something that never happened?!"

"I'm... just trying to help." They held out a singular oreo as though a lone cookie could solve the mysteries of my life.

I sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling. It's just... it's not just history that changes. One time after a shift happened, I tried to contact someone and they act like they never knew me. Because they didn't. We never met in that reality. It's happened multiple times. One time I even lost my little sister. She was gone in one reality, and in the next, she was back."

"I don't think I met your little sister... Oh. Oh no, don't tell me. I'm so sorry."

I take another sip of water. "And now... I'm..." I feel tears well up in my ducts. I put down the bottle and lean on my partner's shoulder. "I'm so glad to have met you. You are a ray of sun peeking through the clouds. I... am so afraid. I'm so scared that one day, I'll wake up and you're not there."

My partner said nothing. They wrapped an arm around my shoulders and just let my tears drip onto their shoulder. The TV continued their story about the supervillain and his plan to destroy the world.

They broke the silence. "...Hey. Remember when we met and you said you didn't have powers?"

"Yeah...?"

"Are you totally sure you don't have any powers?"

"I'm pretty sure. In all these shifts, I've never once had powers."

My partner put down the box of cookies on the floor. They facepalm with both hands. "You are so smart, but you are such a dumbass."

"What?!"

"You have a master's degree and you didn't figure out that your superpower is your memory?!"

"...Huh?"

"Listen, my love. I'm going to believe you about the shifts because there's no way you'd make something like that up. So if you really are the only one who remembers all this, then it has to be a power you have, right?"

I could not form coherent sentences for a solid minute. "But... people... don't always have the same powers..." I remembered my mom, with how she could emit warmth in one reality and in the next, she could bend light instead.

"Then it's gotta be part of your power! You're immune to all the time travel reality shifts!"

My mouth hanged open. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

"And here's the thing. If another shift happens and we're not together, I want you to make sure that we are."

"And if that doesn't work out...?"

They hummed before answering. "Then I'm glad we met in at least one reality."

The reporter on TV changed her tune. The superhero Radman arrived to defeat Bane of Existence. I never saw that hero before.

"...I know this was my day off, but do you wanna go to a museum or something? I wanna talk to you about other events that I theorize happened because of time travel stuff?"

My partner jumped off the couch. "Hell yeah! Teach me, Professor! Let's learn about things from more than a few years ago!"

The phrase 'a few years ago' still makes me wince, but it stung much less from the mouth of my partner.

In a world of super heroes and villains, you are a historian. You are convinced that something is altering time, changing history so that super powered events only happened “a few years ago�� when they should be far older.

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

[jiminrings]

just wanna say: stemkoo + yoongs redemption arc. yoongi finally acknowledging jungkook as a love interest to oc and accepting it and jungkooks kinda confused because what now? is he safe alone with yoongi? are they brothers? and yoongis just "yeah kid you're here now and I see you but I'd still give you a knuckle sandwich anytime if u even breath wrong next to my baby soulmate"

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo has a breakdown over driving alone for the first time, and it just so happens that yoongi's the only one there for him. alternatively, it's koo and yoongs' redemption arc :-)

warnings: mention and descriptions of a panic attack

jungkook will not cry

not right here, in an emergency bay that's just five meters away from a bustling gas station where there's a convenience store and a couple of food chains and cafés he can go to in order to clear his head

not right now, in his brand-new car that his parents excitedly bought for him once they caught the news that he's already obtained his driver's license. he's admittedly already used to a lofty lifestyle, but somehow guilt settled in when he remembers telling his parents at night, and the next morning, his dad's calling him to come out of his dorm to see such a big purchase they didn't think twice in buying

jungkook already drove before. countless of times!!

tried it the first three times in his hometown with his dad on the front seat and his mom at the back, a little amused yet more frantic because this is perhaps the most frustrated state he's put his parents in

he's also took 30 hours in driving lessons during break and the happiest that he's been during the whole time is the part wherein he gets home by foot, relieved that he doesn't have to shared a confined space with his instructor that's far too chatty and intimidating at the same time

most importantly, jungkook drove endlessly and ultimately learned from you, jin, and yoongi!! he remembered mentioning in passing that he doesn't have a driver's license yet and he could distinctly remembering the three of you arguing about who'd teach him first

of course it was you whom he picked first, and it became a driving lesson that racked immense pressure and comfort from him

you taught him how to properly control his gas and brakes and then did jungkook only learn that he's a little too heavy-footed with the pedals, mistakenly thinking that he should press his wHOLE foot instead of just atleast a fourth of it

he learned how to accelerate without making the car jump and brake without making a god-awful screech!! also learned how to pull up the handbrake with ease because his wrist's too tensioned the first time around

seokjin taught him how to turn and park smoothly. how to actually command the wheel without his hands getting wrung and just nailing commando with like tHREE maneuvers max!!! max!!!

also jin taught him (reluctantly) how to reverse while looking back and holding headrest of the front seat bc jungkook read from somewhere that people apparently (read: you) find it attractive

and well... yoongi?

yoongi taught him everything

jungkook was a lil scared when he realized that it was yoongi's turn to teach him, but surprisingly, and uh well nO offense to his parents and instructor and girlfriend and girlfriend's friend,, but yoongi is the best teacher he's ever had

he taught him how to actually drive-drive if that's supposed to explain everything

he taught him how to not grip the steering wheel a little too tight and heavy. to be relaxed enough that he drives his car and not the other way around, but not too relaxed that the car feels too light in his command

yoongi taught him how to overtake and counterflow when necessary and how not to be a push-over and let every car pass even if it's him who has the right of way

jungkook was taught how to not squirm and be shy with honking because it's literally tHERE to be used!! yoongi taught him not to cower when there's a huge 4x4 with the truck horn that's aiming to squeeze in between lanes and just drive like normal

he learned how he shouldn't trust the mirrors at all times because it's not the accurate depiction of how far he is from backing into a tree and instead, open the window to see it for himself

yoongi taught him about the gearbox so eASILY that jungkook almost cried in realization that he finally managed to comprehend it fully without feeling the need to search in between stops

...

yes, jungkook did drive countless of times.

but this is the first time ever that jungkook drove alone and by himself; no company at all to tell him how he's going a little too fast or a little too near to the vehicle in front of him

he's alone. driving. in his own car. and now he's parked by himself near the gas station and the radio's playing a little too loud.

in second thought?

jungkook will cry

you're not there to console him as soon as you see his bottom lip tremble and his eyes freeze because you're someplace else

you're on a road trip with seokjin because it's his niece's first birthday and his whole extended family would be there and he doesn't know if he can actually handle that by himself ://

his family already knows you anyway and they're awarE of how their own relatives could be so now jin's immediate kim family is relying on you to be also their breather <3

the whole reason that jungkook decided to go onto this mini roadtrip by himself in the first place was to surprise you!!

he heard you over movie night once that you wanted to try these famous donuts from this shop that's an hour and a half drive away, and from your descriptions alone, yoongi and jin aND jungkook decided that they also wanted to try

and kook's just being a loving boyfriend and friend (?) that he made the collective decision that while you and jin were out, while yoongi's in the dorm — he's driving by himself for an hour and a half to get the donuts

but no, he hasn't even reached the donut place yet because he's an hour away still

he suddenly felt that his legs froze and he couldn't move at all because he realized that he's holding a wheel in his hands and the consciousness of it all makes his eyes widen, feeling the smooth leather go heavy within a blink

it was his sudden fear that the car's driving him and he doesn't have any control of it even if he has the means to do so, his mind too far in that he swerves to the right-most lane without his blinkers on and without checking his side mirrors

and even more concerningly, jungkook's still thinking about donuts even if he's in a state in which he's feeling a little dizzy and his chest is tight, having trouble breathing with his tummy aching that he feels he want to throw up

he can't think nor breathe straight and it physically pains him, the only thing registering in his hazy mind being his phone, the lockscreen that's set to you being the first thing that greets him

his fingers tremble as they move on their own and he doesn't realize it, only being jolted when his phone silently rings on his palm because even he doesn't know how nor whom he called

he's already removed his glasses to rub his eyes but they just blearily ache when he tries to see the name on his phone, his eyesight being blurred by the tears he's trying to keep at bay

jungkook's phone stops ringing until it finally connects, pressing his phone to his ear as confused as he is because he can't even remember who he called

"hello? why are you calling me, kid?"

it's yoongi.

jungkook breathes a sigh of relief that of all the people he's accidentally called — it's yoongi

he immediately welcomes the gruff voice, a sob racking through his entire body that he didn't even realize he was holding back

"y-yoongi! oh my god, yoongi! i-it's you!"

yoongi was merely napping when he felt his phone ring beside his pillow, an unfamiliar ringtone reaching his ears that he felt compelled to check it

his tone couldn't have been more abrupt but it's greeted nothing but warmly, the voice from the other side of the line making him focus concentratedly

jungkook greets him so eagerly and panickedly that it worries him, the large gulp of air convincing him that it's not just his airconditioner that's turned all the way up

"what happened to you? are you okay?"

jungkook whimpers at the question, stuttering over words that haven't even formed as he looks frantically left and right to see if his spot at the emergency bay is bothering anyone

there isn't anyone approaching him and-

"h-hazard! i-i need the hazard on."

all the red he's seeing reminds him of his hazard lights, remembering your words to keep them on if you're a potential hazard on the road

yoongi's remaining sleepiness dissipates as his eyebrows knot, overwhelmingly alert as he stands up from bed and find a shirt to put on before he even knows what's going on

"hazard?" he parrots, trying to see if he's slept through some urgent texts from any of you that could make him put the pieces together. "i need you to calm down for me, jungkook."

jungkook's busy eyes snap in one place at the mention of his name, blinking owlishly at the recognition of what yoongi's saying

"i-i forgot how to drive. the wheel — the wheel b-became too heavy on my hands," he stammers, looking at the circle that's in front of him that feels and now looks foreign to him. "i-i drove alone because-"

yoongi's heart pangs at the observation that jungkook's voice is breaking and desperate, turning off his fan before he scurries outside his bedroom and double-checks to turn off everything

"yeah, jungkook? come one, you can do it. you drove alone because?"

he once again affirms jungkook by reminding him of his own name to try and ground him, slipping on his shoes with a vague outline of a plan in his mind

"donuts. i-i heard — y-you all wanted these donuts and the uhm, t-the three of you had a bad day last week, right? i-i think. i'm not over there and you're the only who's home and i-i figured that-" his voice gives out at the end, unable to keep his tears from falling at this point. "help, hyung."

yoongi blinks once, twice, before he finds his voice

"i'm still proud of you, jungkook. good job," he rummages through the bowl of money the three of you drop your change into, dumping the entirety of it as he hopes it's enough to tip the cab driver he's gonna tell to drive as fast as he could. "now can you tell me what you see? can you tell me where you are? where you're parked? hyung will help you."

...

......

it takes yoongi a total of fifteen minutes to reach jungkook at the emergency bay by the side of the road.

his car's pristine and intact and it calms him to no end, immediately calling jungkook to tell him he's there so he wouldn't have to startle him with a knock

yoongi enters the driver's seat and his eyes immediately whip to jungkook who's already transferred to the passenger seat, his face teary and blotchy as he shakily grins at him through it all

"hyu — yoongi! h-hi!! oh my god, you're here."

he nods and softly smiles, adjusting the seat to accommodate his preferences that it makes kook put his seatbelt out of reflex

he's beyond happy to have another person in the car with him, enough to make him feel surrounded and reassured that he can't hear his breathing echoing in his vehicle

he's already mostly regained his breath but it picks up when yoongi doesn't drive straightly like what he thought he would — instead, yoongi drives five meters ahead and turns to the gas station, wordlessly finding a parking spot

"... b-but the donuts. y-you guys wanted the donuts, right?"

he purses his lips at the inquiry, shaking his head somberly

he can't even begin to gRASP why after all this, he's still focused on the donuts that he meant to get for the three of you — still beyond desperate to secure what was meant to cheer everyone up despite having gone through a new driver's version of hell

"how about we grab a bite first and then we could get the donuts after? my treat."

jungkook was about to politely say no and apologize for imposing, the words being caught on his mouth when yoongi reverses into a parking spot swiftly and gets out of the car before he can put a word in, already having him opening the door on his side

he looks up at him as if he's seen a ghost, a slow tick of a minute on his mind reminding him that yoongi's here for him

yoongi looks down to see the younger guy that still looks very much like what he's been through just minutes ago, making him spring into action

he wordlessly combs his hand through his hair like he does with you when you have a fever and cannot be bothered to keep up with appearances, pushing it back neatly

he grabs jungkook's glasses that are muddled with dried tears and fingerprints from the console, cleaning it with the end of his shirt before handing it back to him

"bite first, then we'll get donuts. i promise."

oh my god

is he having an out of body experience

jungkook can walk but he doesn't feel like it because now his steps are toO light, feeling as if he's gliding through air with ease

he follows yoongi's shadow and stares at the back of his head, the newly-dyed pink of it gleaming underneath the morning sun that he tries to focus on it instead of his raging thoughts

yoongi walks into a serene café that's only the calming kind of busy; people here and there in their own conversations, blenders humming and silverware clinking

it's not until yoongi tells jungkook to pick a spot as he lines up to order that it trulY hits him what's happening, picking the comfiest spot his eyes laid on

there's no build-up to the moment because unlike their previous interactions where it's only the two of them, there's no score in the background.

there's no tension nor ill intent and the only thing that's there between them is a comfortable silence, one that jungkook's insistent to break this one time

"i-i'm sorry i called you. you were probably busy. i didn't know what i was doing and-"

"no," he cuts him off, sheepishly putting a hand on his nape. "i called you, jungkook."

"huh?" he couldn't hold back the audible surprise that left him, making him backtrack instead of continuing his sentence

yoongi thinks that the truth wouldn't hurt, leaning to his chair as he relaxed to put the guy across him at ease somehow

"you did call me, but you dropped it in less than two seconds," he admits, drumming his fingers on the armrest. "i called you back."

jungkook visibly awes at that, head tilting as the confusion he has in his head doubles over and starts crawling on four limbs

"w-why did you that?"

was that it?

was that why he felt so confused when he could barely see a caller ID? it was ringing out for him to answer and not the other way around

yoongi's the one perplexed this time but he doesn't blame him, answering sincerely

"because i look out for you too."

there's a pregnant pause between them and yoongi could clearly see the way jungkook's shoulders slump, making him lean forward out of instinct because he thought he was gonna break down again

"i'm sorry," he looks up at him with glassy eyes, wide but not threatening to cry out of despair. "i'm sorry, yoongi."

he knows by that tone that jungkook's not talking about the call anymore, making him raise his hand to wave it off lightly

"we don't have to do this right now, kook. the both of us probably haven't even had breakfast yet."

the much-awaited talk between them has been set far enough for the perfect timing but the bulk of everything just points to now, only getting more strengthened when jungkook breaks the silence again. "but i mean it."

"i was so stupid back then and i didn't know how much i hurt you through y/n," he reflects back to how distraught and angry yoongi looked at him, not to mention the fact that seokjin told him how yoongi didn't sleep at all for a week because of how he was kept up just thinking and trying to protect you. "i-i know it must've hurt to see your soulmate hurt because of me and that she forgave me still. a-and made me her boyfriend, even."

his mouth dries because the younger boy recites his previous heartaches almost word per word, taking his time to digest each one

"i did hurt, jungkook."

there's no denying that. no cover-up of jin as he tries to boost everyone up can ever hide that. no lies to how tae, who barely even knows yoongi, felt his chest tighten when he came over one morning to deliver the cookies and see yoongi sitting outside your door with his ear pressed to it — trying to hear if you were crying while holds his own.

there's no denying either the truth that reflects why exactly yoongi made a cab driver break almost every traffic law to man just to get to jungkook faster.

"but y/n's not hurting anymore — i'm not hurting anymore," he enunciates. "i'm not mad at you anymore, jungkook."

the guy in question looks alarmed, sheepish even at the words he's been wanting to hear but couldn't believe now that they're being uttered

"you should be."

yoongi snorts because jungkook reminds him of you so so much, an uncanny resemblance between the guilt you've always tried to live with before trying to acquit

"i'll hold it over your head if it makes you sleep at night or remind you when you decide to act up again," he chuckles but he's met with jungkook's frantic no's, waving him off when he realizes that his egging's truly working. "but i don't have it in me to be mad at you for any longer."

it's the truth. it's the truth that yoongi always tried to refute because for the past weeks, all he's done is try to find the most miniscule flaw to try and make him hate jungkook

he's only thought once in his lifetime that he'd ever forgive jungkook, but now did it become crystal clear

"you've proved yourself enough, even jin said so," he admits humbly. "but i know you're not doing all of this to prove yourself to us or to me, kook."

he looks up at from his hands to train his gaze on his girlfriend's soulmate, listening attentively

"i know you do it from the heart."

he feels like crying but only this time is it for an entirely different and positive reason, a leap on his chest heightening tenfold

"as much as you rely on y/n — you can also rely on me too, jungkook."

the two of them hold eye contact and neither of them shy away from it, a silent fact in the air as they know that it's not only you who's linking them at this point, but rather because they're somewhat brothers at this point

"i forgive you."

"y-you forgive me?"

he feels his ears ringing in happiness as he tries to dodge the waiter who's blocking his view of yoongi with the way he's putting down the meals, frantically looking for confirmation

yoongi finds it cute, laughing as he throws his head back

"you're the one who does the quizbees. why are you making me spell it out?"

then he knows.

"you forgive me," he parrots, repeating it once more to himself

the two of them eat throughout thoughtful conversation, stemming from the inquiry of how yoongi made a thirty-minute drive into only half of it, until it bloomed to how kook claims to be forgetful but remembers a whisper about bread from a week ago

"tell me if you want to try and drive to the donut place," yoongi turns to him as he settles the bill, watching jungkook finish the last of his food as he throws him a sheepish smile — much like how you do

"i'll be watching over you, koo. don't worry."

.

.

.

how r we feeling bffs </3 i'll have to speak into the mic and say that this is perhaps the drabble i hurted the most while writing :O

as always, lmk what you think!! i love answering asks :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3

[pawsitivelymiraculous]

Damian, the little brother, Dupain-Cheng (Part 1)

I'm backkkk! I explained why this series went on hiatus on this post but yeahhh the Damian Dupain-Cheng series is back and will be posted on it's old schedule (which is every other week) Anyway I really appreciate you guys,, sorry for taking so long and let me know what you think! Comments really motivate me to keep writing.

(I promise I'll add a read more thing and the links tomorrow but I need sleep. for now I'll add the masterlist you can find everything there)

<<Previous   Next>>

Ao3 Masterlist

~♡~ Recap ~♡~

Marinette kidnapped/adopted Damian after seeing him with Talia in the Miraculous Café. She gives him the choice between staying with her or a non assassin relative. He chooses to stay in hopes of stealing the miracle box, but since that didn't work he lashed out and tried to kill Marinette and her friends repeatedly. This makes Marinette doubt in herself because she feels guilty about the whole situation. After hearing Marinette cry, Damian runs away confused at the whole situation, but he didn't get far before realizing that he was actually okay with the idea of Marinette becoming his mother. Marinette finds him and they go home. Time passes, they get a dog, Damian grows closer to Marinette and Marinette legally adopts him.

This takes place some time after all of this, like a couple of months.

~♡~♡~♡~

Why am I still in Paris?  

Jason asked himself this every day, and yet he could never find the answer.

Maybe it was because he really had nothing else to do. Well besides killing a Bat.

Or maybe it was because being in Paris somehow cleared some of the madness leftover from the Lazarus Pit that clouded his brain.

In either case it seemed like every time he tried to leave, he would convince himself to stay with the lie that Marinette Dupain-cheng was just as dangerous as Talia had claimed she was.

And that his "brother" really was in danger.

Which only led to him tailing after the pair like a complete creep while feeling miserable because who was he kidding? The woman who had taken Damian in was just as dangerous  as a basket of golden retriever puppies and Damian would have a way better life living with her rather than with Bruce.

And still he could not f*cking leave.

So he continued to observe from the shadows. Trying to remain invisible.

Which had worked out perfectly fine until that day it seemed, because Jason soon found himself pressed against the cold concrete after being flipped by a woman half his size.

Jason tried to look up, but he felt the heel of a shoe pressed against his head.

"Ow"

"Oh, I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Jason heard a familiar voice say. The only difference was that she was speaking in English with a slight accent rather than French.

How the h*ll did she know that he spoke English?

Jason tried to get a better look at his attacker, but she just pressed down her heel deeper making it very clear that she was not sorry at all.

Marinette leaned down to talk to him. "Look kid, I just want to know why you keep following me. Now we can talk like normal people, or I'll have to be a little… unconventional. So what do you say?" 

Kid? Jason couldn't remember the last time he had been called. It was especially surreal coming from such a petite woman who couldn't be older than thirty.

"Now I'm going to let you stand up just… don't do anything stupid."

Stupid seemed to follow Jason because as soon as he felt the pressure on his head lessen, he stood up and ran. The only thing in his mind was getting away from the woman. 

He wasn't able to go far though. As soon as he got to the end of the ally they were in, Jason suddenly felt all the muscles in his body grow weak. Everything around him became blurry and for the second time that day, Jason fell down and hit the gravel.

~♡~♡~♡~

Marinette hadn't meant to use a tranquilizer she made from the bee's miraculous venom on the guy. Honest.

But she needed answers, and he didn't seem in the mood to be the one providing them, so she had to do something before he got away.

Marinette did find it strange how he seemed more interested in running rather than harming her in any way. But she could think about that later. For now, she had to do something about the unconscious body on the ground.

First, Marinette tried to drag him back into the ally because she didn't want to risk anyone seeing her. It was ridiculous how difficult it was to move the guy a couple of inches. Even with all the strength she got from being ladybug, Marinette found herself incredibly tired when she finally managed to get to the end of the alley.

There was no way that Marinette could drag the guy to a safe location. Unless… she had the horse miraculous.

Marinette swiftly grabbed her phone and called Adrien while still holding down the guy in case he regained consciousness. "Hey kitty! Are you busy right now?"

"Um no?" He replied cautiously. "Unless you need me to bury a body, then I'm really busy." He would gladly lie to the police and give marinette suggestions on how to get rid of the body, but actually digging a hole sounded like too much of a hassle in Adrien's opinion.

Marinette laughed nervously. "Don't worry it's not a body." She paused "Not a dead one at least" she added under her breath. 

Adrien heard her anyway "Marinette."

"I just need you to get the horse miraculous and come here." Marinette added quickly when she heard Adrien's disapproving tone. 

"Do I even want to know why you need it?"

Marinette hesitated. Adrien still acted weird around Damian, and she wasn't sure that he would want to get involved with this. "Well I found the guy that was following me" she explained  "and accidentally knocked him out" Marinette stopped when she saw a portal open. "And you’re already here, was there no traffic?"

Adrien laughed as he walked out of the portal. "I was already getting the miraculous while you talked." He explained with a shrug then he looked at the unconscious guy on the floor. "Sooo… do you need help with that?" 

~♡~♡~♡~

Kagami was already at the café's storage area by the time Adrien and Marinette passed through the portal.

Adrien did a double take when he saw her. "Woah, I literally just texted you."

"You said you found the stalker, and I was nearby, and I figured that you would need help interrogating him." she explained. 

"With a sword?" Marinette asked, eyeing Kagami's left hand. "Where did you even get that?"

Kagami smiled. "Yes, and your son has an excellent taste."

Marinette looked at kagami, with a very confused and slightly worried expression. "Wha- when did you go sword shopping?"

Adrien replied instead. "When you asked me to babysit, your little gremlin scares me and gami wanted a sword, so I let him go with her." Then he grabbed a nearby chair and sat the guy in it, and also tied him to one of the stands that held coffee supplies using zip ties.

"You have broken my trust Agreste." Marinette said trying to sound as serious as possible but failing at it. "No, but seriously, let me know next time okay?"

"Yes ma'am"

It took a couple of minutes for the guy to regain consciousness. And as soon as he did, he thrashed around trying to break free from his restraints. Looking around him wildly until his gaze landed on Marinette.

His eyes narrowed. "You" he lunged towards her but was held back.

His attitude was completely different from their first meeting. Before he seemed conflicted and confused. But while he still seemed very confused that confusion was now mixed with rage. Which Marinette could understand, she had just knocked him out and brought him to a strange place.

But Marinette needed answers, the guy was very clearly part of the league, his aura reeked of their darkness, and she was not about to feel sympathy for anyone connected to the league of assassins.

So Marinette held no remorse when she allowed kagami to approach him with her sword after he calmed down a bit. 

"Who are you?" Kagami asked threateningly, then raised the blade dangerously close to his neck. "And why have you been following Marinette?"

The guy didn't even flinch. "Name's Jason" then he turned slightly to look Marinette in the eye. "I am Damian's brother," he continued. 

Marinette's eyes widened. The room fell silent for a moment. 

Jason smirked at his captors' shocked faces as he gave the final blow.  "And I'm here to take him to his father."

~♡~♡~♡~ TAG LIST ~♡~♡~♡~

(If you want to be added please let me know)

@elmokingkong @anjuschiffer , @ii-fox-demon , @justcourttee , @tazanna-blythe , @lozzybowe , @idontfuking, @wannajointhecrabcult , @bakergirl13 , @rosalineandrosemary , @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry , @our-preciousss , @consumeconstantly , @jiso-lee , @allthegooddaimenettenamesaregone, @justcourteesuportline , @finallyaniguana , @user00000003 , @whydoexamsexist , @justafanwarrior , @violetfandomaddict, @smolplantmum @fidget-eep ,@cadenceh2o , @justarandomtumblerblog , @ramos123 @iwantasecretidentity @t1dwarrior-of-earth @thesunniestdays @alice-hazelwood

~♡~♡~♡~ PERMANENT TAG LIST ~♡~♡~♡~

@charme-de-malchan , @theatreandcomicfreak , @m3owww, @elliebelliegirl , @genevieve-the-demonologist, @vixen-uchiha , @t1dwarrior-of-earth , @waffleyunsure , @technicallyburninggarden , @azuremayscarlet , @vroomtaka , @emistar0 , @ichigorose , @maskedpainter , @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry , @alysrose-starchild , @jayjayspixiepop , @abrx2002 ,  @nathleigh , @icerosecrystal , @jumpingjoy82

[cursedwriter]

Promise me - Fushiguro Megumi

Synopsis: After being attacked by a cursed spirit, Megumi comes to a realization that will change everything

Words: 3.8k

Author’s Note: My requests are open, so feel free to send me short prompts or headcanons if you want to! (For Jujutsu Kaisen characters) 

You turned and tossed in your bed, trying to finally get comfortable, but no matter what you tried, nothing felt right.  For the umpteenth time you reached for your bedside table, searching for your phone in the dark. When your fingers brushed against a sleek surface, you grabbed your phone and the screen illuminated, making you wince and squint your eyes. The artificial light bathed your room in a cold blue color, causing the shadows at the foot of your bed to dance. They looked a lot more frightening than usual.

You sighed, turning to your side and trying not to look too closely at them before your imagination could run wild. Besides, you had other things to worry about.

You tapped your screen, watching as the image changed to your recent chat with your boyfriend. He still hasn’t read any of your messages and that had you worried.

[5.56pm] Megumi: Hey, are you home?

[6.02pm] Y/N: Yeah, I’m here!

[6.06pm] Megumi: Is it okay if I come over later?

[6.07pm] Y/N: Of course!

[6.47pm] Y/N: Hey, I know you didn’t specify when you’d come, but will you be long? I could cook dinner if you haven’t eaten yet. What do you feel like having tonight?

[7.25pm] Y/N: Megumi? Is everything alright?

[7.55pm] Y/N: Why aren’t you reading my texts? I tried to call but you’re not picking up… I’m worried. Pls just tell me you’re okay

[8.32pm] Y/N: Megumi?

[9.45pm] Y/N: Hello?

[10.39pm] Y/N: It’s getting really late… I take it you’re not gonna make it…

[11.16pm] Y/N: I’m going to bed now… I placed the spare key underneath the mat out front just in case you’re still coming. I hope you’re safe… call me anytime and I’ll pick up

You reread your texts over and over, gnawing on your bottom lip. Could something have happened? Did he get into an accident? Or maybe he was back doing whatever shady things he did at night. Megumi wasn’t the most upfront about his feelings or things that were on his mind. But it wasn’t just that… it wasn’t necessarily that you thought he was lying to you, but he wasn’t telling you the whole truth either. A few white lies you could excuse and you hoped that eventually he’d be comfortable enough to open up about the things that were gnawing on him. Time passed, your relationship moved forward but still… he never seemed to be fully honest with you.

The familiar sound of a key being turned in its lock brought you back to reality. Immediately, you jumped out of bed, wobbling through the darkness with your phone as a flashlight. The door creaked open as you peered around the corner. Logically, it could only mean that Megumi had decided to come after all, but you wanted to make sure that it wasn’t in fact a burglar or creep that had seen you put the key under the mat earlier in the day.

The person coming through the door grunted, toeing their shoes off by the entrance and moving forward sluggishly. The light your phone had provided earlier was off now and you couldn’t see the intruders face. Another low grunt left his lips and he cursed under his breath, telling you everything you needed to know. It was definitely Megumi.

“What the hell took you so long?” You questioned, turning the light on. Megumi flinched at the sudden brightness… or your voice, you couldn’t tell. Another curse word left his lips and upon finally being able to see his face you couldn’t help the gasp that was caught in your throat. There was blood all over his face. His right eye had a dark purple bruise beneath it and his clothes were dirty and torn. One arm was slung across his torso as he stood with a slight slouch as if standing up straight would tear him apart.

“I’m sorry…” He croaked, face contorting in pain, though, you could tell he was trying to hold it back. Hesitantly he took another step forward while you rushed to his side. “I’m sorry,” he repeated as he tried to hold onto the wall, but before he could even reach out, he stumbled forward and collapsed on the floor.

“Megumi!”

***

“This one’s for you,” she smiled at him while placing a cup of tea and a tasty looking pastry in front of him.

“I haven’t ordered anything yet,” Megumi told her, but her smile didn’t falter.

“I know,” she said and he looked at her confused. “It’s my treat. You look like you could use a little something to cheer you up.” Megumi still looked at her in confusion, which she mistook for dislike. “Uh, I’m sorry… Maybe I should’ve asked first if this was okay… Maybe you don’t even like tea. I can get you something else too, no problem. Or the pastry… I mean maybe you’re allergic or something… I really didn’t think that through, did I? Oh, I’m so sorry!” She stumbled over her words as she hurriedly tried to place the tea and pastry back on her tray. Gently, Megumi placed one hand above her own to halt her hectic movements.

“It’s fine, thank you!” He tried to offer her a smile, but the way the corners of his mouth pulled up felt foreign on his face. It felt like a puppet master was pulling the strings and he didn’t like it. “I appreciate it. I was just surprised, that’s all,” Megumi reassured her and he could instantly see her relax.

“Okay, good,” she sighed in relief. “Well, then enjoy it. If you want to order something else, just wave for me and I’ll be sure to get it.” Her smile on the other hand didn’t look forced or that it held any malice behind it. Instead, it offered warmth and Megumi found himself craving more of that strange feeling that was starting to spread through his whole body. It was stupid, really. All she did was smile and offer him some tea and a pastry, but yet… he couldn’t help but notice that the small smile on his face no longer felt so foreign to him.

***

Megumi winced as he opened his eyes. He was met with a dark room. The only illumination coming from a creak in the blinds where the light of the street lamps from outside caused shadows to dance on the opposite wall. His head was pounding and it took him some time to recollect everything that had happened.

Right… He had been on his way over to your place when he suddenly felt an immense presence of cursed energy fast approaching. Without thinking, his legs took him where the energy felt the most concentrated. It didn’t take him long to find what he was searching looking for. The curse seemed especially heinous, but it couldn’t have been more than a semi-1 grade. He was sure, he could take it. So without further ado, he summoned his shikigami and attacked the cursed creature without mercy. He had been fine at first. It hadn’t been that difficult to hold his own against the curse, but not long after a few successful strikes, the situation turned on him and he was thrown across the space like a rag doll. He was able to recover quickly, but the hit had definitely caused some damage. Nonetheless, he was able to exorcise the curse, but collapsed soon after. When he came to, his whole body hurt, but he was sure that he wasn’t bleeding internally and the worst thing he had were probably a few fractions along his ribs. He should be fine. And then he remembered that he was supposed to meet you. His phone had been completely demolished and he didn’t know how late it was. At first he debated if he should just go to Jujutsu Tech right away, but when he looked around himself, he noticed how close he was to your apartment complex. Why had that cursed spirit been this close to a normal residential area anyways? Without thinking about it, he willed his beaten body to move forward. He had to make sure you were okay, not matter what.  He would just check and see if you were okay and then he could leave again and seek treatment for his wounds. But you had to be his priority right now.

When he reached your apartment, though, he noticed the black spots that were already clouding his vision. Maybe the hit to the head had been worse than he anticipated… That’s where his memory gave out. He must’ve passed out again shortly after that.

Megumi heard a light whimper from somewhere beside him and his head immediately snapped in the direction of the sound. Form the looks of it, you had fallen asleep sitting by the bed. Your head was resting on your arms and your hair had fallen in your face.

Megumi dragged one hand over his face, feeling that his face had apparently been plastered with gauze. You must’ve cleaned his wounds. He sighed. He shouldn’t have come here. He didn’t even mean for you to see him like this. All he wanted was to check if you were okay and then leave again. Now, he had you worried and how in the hell was he supposed to explain what happened anyway? Getting you mixed up in his business was the last thing he wanted. Someone like you should remain in the light, oblivious to the things that lurked in the dark. Megumi was not part of that light. He belonged in the shadows. And while he always thought that light had the power to cast away shadows and expel the darkness, he realized now that that thought had been foolish. The darkness also had the power to swallow the light. A sudden image of his sister flashed before his inner eye. Megumi was cursed in more than one way, but he’d be damned if he dragged you down with him.

Suddenly, everything became clear to him and he knew what he had to do, though, the thought made him sick. Couldn’t he be selfish just this once? No, not if that meant forcing you to go through the same hell he went through every day. He couldn’t ever be selfish if it came to you.

Megumi sat up, low grunts leaving his throat as a surge of pain traveled up his spine.

“Huh?” Your voice rang through the darkened room. Shit, he didn’t mean to wake you up. “Megumi? Are you awake?”

Shit, shit, shit… No, he couldn’t face you. He didn’t know what to say. “Uh, yeah.” His own voice sounded foreign to his ears. It felt like he was underwater. Everything was muffled and sounded miles away. The throbbing in his head didn’t make things any better.

“How are you feeling? Do you need some pain killers? Water?” You immediately jumped to your feet, frantic at the thought of him being in any pain whatsoever. It made his heart ache for you. Even though, he told himself that he could never be selfish when it came to you, he knew that was a lie. He had been selfish all this time. Getting involved with you, spending time with you and getting to know you… falling in love and making you fall for him. That was probably the most selfish thing he had ever done in his life. And now he was paying the price for it…

“Don’t worry so much, I’m fine.” He swatted away your hand that was holding out a glass of water for him. Reluctantly, you sat it back down on the nightstand.  

It was silent for a little while. Neither one of you sure what to say, but when Megumi heard your quiet sobs he was sure that the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces bounced off your apartment walls. “Of course I worry, Megumi… How could I not worry?! I mean, look at you!” He could tell that you tried your best to muffle your cries, but the pain in your voice was still very much evident. He hated this…. He hated himself for this… How could he have been this stupid?! “What happened to you? Please, tell me what happened… I know you like to keep things bottled up and I don’t ever want to pressure you into telling me things you don’t want to, but Megumi, please… I – I just don’t know what to do anymore… I feel so helpless seeing you like this. I just – I…” It was hard finding the right words to express what you were feeling. Because suddenly no word in the world felt close enough to be able to describe the pain you were feeling right this moment.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about,” he brushed you off. What could he say anyway? On my way here, I fought a cursed spirit and while I was able to exorcise it, I sure got my ass handed to me? Right, there was no way he could tell you the truth. Nor did he want to. Another image of his sister reminded him of what he had to do… Why didn’t he see it sooner? He couldn’t drag you into this.

“Why can’t you just be honest with me?? Why?!” The tears were streaming down your face freely now. There was no longer any strength left in you to hold them back. What was the point? “I mean, how is this supposed to work if you can’t trust me? If you can’t talk to me?” You asked him, tone desperate, almost sounding like a plea. “How is this going to end, huh?” With your sleeve you dried your cheeks, blinking rapidly to clear up your vision. Everything was a blur, but you had to see his face. A gut-wrenching feeling overpowering you, telling you that this might be the last time you’d see it.

Megumi didn’t say a word, but the pain in his eyes reflected your own. There was a slight tremble to his lips, but he collected himself and went back to his usual stoic expression before you could confirm it soundly. Silently he got up from the bed, averting your eyes as he stood up. At first you thought he was going to take you in his arms, cooing into your ear that everything would be alright. That he just needed a little more time, but surely, he would open up eventually. You wanted his arms around your shaking body. You wanted to feel safe, you wanted to feel loved… by him. And only him. But you should’ve known better. This just wasn’t Megumi. Instead of taking you in his arms, he brushed past you, leaving you trembling as shaky and shallow breaths threatened to suffocate you. For just a split second, you couldn’t move. Your mind twisting and turning in every direction, making it feel like you were glued to the ground for an eternity. Your vision started to blur again and you desperately looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away. Everything felt suffocating. The ceiling. The walls. It made you feel like you were trapped inside a tiny box with no way to escape. Were you having a panic attack? In an attempt to control your breathing, you clutched your heart, feeling it hammering inside your rib cage at an abnormally accelerated speed. Were you going to pass out?

The sound of shoes being put on, broke you out of your frenzy, though, it put your nerves on edge even more… if that was possible. Was he leaving? He couldn’t be… Not now, not at a time like this… Not when you needed him so desperately.

Your feet moved before your mind registered it. Megumi had one hand on the door handle and when he finally spoke, he didn’t even look at you. “I’m sorry for causing you so much pain, Y/N. I really am… but I think it’s better that way.”

He turned the knob of the handle while your mind tried to keep up with what he was trying to say. It didn’t take you long to piece everything together.

“No! Megumi, please! Wait!” You rushed forward, one hand on the door, keeping him from opening it. “Please, don’t do this. Please.” Your voice was barely above a whisper at this point. “Please, you can’t leave me. Please.” Uncontrollable sobs were leaving your mouth. Under different circumstances you’d probably be embarrassed by the way you were acting, pathetically, sobbing like a child.

Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Megumi’s lip tremble again. This time, though, he wasn’t as quick to cover it up. Was he crying too? Was this why he wouldn’t look at you? But you needed to see his face. You needed to see his face so desperately. What if it was the last time you’d see it? The last chance to see his beautiful ocean eyes framed by his long lashes? What if this was it? Forever?

“I’m sorry…” Megumi spoke again. His voice was collected, but you could tell, it took him a lot of strength to uphold the façade. “I can’t do it anymore, Y/N. We don’t work… this,” he gestured between the two of you, “doesn’t work.”

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Why now?” He still wasn’t looking at you. Anger welled up inside of you, enhancing your utter frustration.  “Look at me! Why can’t you even look at me?!” Your voice rose an octave, visibly catching Megumi off guard. He flinched slightly, but remained as rigid as before. Until finally, he turned around.

Salty streaks painted his cheek and his eyes were more bloodshot than before. So he was crying after all.

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself, Megumi!”

“Would you just stop?!” He snapped. He ran one hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. “Just shut up, okay?” Though, he lowered his tone a little, the words still cut you all the same. It felt like he was plunging a dagger in hurt chest, twisting and turning the handle and ripping you open from the inside out. “I should’ve never gotten involved with you in the first place.  It was a mistake… Us, we’re… we’re –,“ he stuttered, words caught in his throat that were painful to utter out loud, but Megumi knew he had to say them. He had to, although, he didn’t mean them. You needed to hear these words and you needed to hear them from him. He had to hurt you like that or else you might never let him go. But you had to if you wanted to live the happy life he imagined for you. With him in the picture there was no bright future. All you would get and all he had to offer was pain and despair. This was his life. This was his burden to bear. Not yours. He wouldn’t condemn you to a life of misery. A life in darkness. It was a shame that it took him so long to realize this. “You and I, we don’t work. This has been a mistake from the start. I don’t think I ever really loved you, Y/N. I’m sorry…”

Your eyes widened in shock. If his previous words had hurt, these words were giving you the final blow, death already lurking behind the corner. This had to be a joke, right? How could he say that? How could he say that to your face like that? And why was he looking at you with pity in his eyes? Were you that pathetic?

“You don’t mean that,” you croaked out. Your throat felt like the Sahara with no water in sight.

“I do,” he confirmed dryly. Suddenly, every emotion seemed to have left his body. All that remained was his natural stoic expression. Maybe he really didn’t care about you at all.

“No, you don’t.” Your voice cracked.

Megumi sighed. Was he annoyed? Probably… But you couldn’t just let him go, right? You just couldn’t… “Don’t make this harder than it was to be. We’re done, Y/N, okay? Just get over it!” He said it as if it were that easy. Just get over it… Right!

“I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you….,” you repeated the phrase over and over again, shaking your head as if you could shake the hurtful words out of your mind with the action.

I don’t think I ever really loved you.

I don’t think I ever loved you.

I don’t think I loved you.

I don’t love you.

“No, no! You don’t mean that! You don’t!”

Megumi hated seeing you like this and he hated it even more that he was the one causing you to hurt so much. But deep down he knew this was for the better. Eventually you would get over it. It might take you a while, but time healed all wounds, right? Someday you’d find someone who could give you the life you wanted. A happy one, a safe one. And that’s all he could ask for. So, he had to make it as easy for you as he possibly could. A clean cut was better than a messy one. Better to just rip the band aid clean off and let the wound heal. “Would you stop it already?!” He yelled. “Look at you! Why would I ever want to be with you?!”  You gasped at his words, tears pooling in your eyes once more.

“What?” The sound was barely audible, shock sitting deep in your bones.

“I don’t want you anymore, you get it?! It was fun while it lasted… but you were just convenient to me, so don’t get the wrong idea, alright?” Megumi’s hand was still resting atop the door handle. He twisted it once more and this time, you didn’t hold him back.

“Convenient?” You asked more to yourself than you meant for him to hear.

Megumi sighed as he turned around to look over his shoulder. You were trembling like a leaf in the wind, arms wrapped around your tiny frame as if you could fall apart at any second. “This was never meant to last…,” Megumi started, his throat oddly constricted as he noticed that you couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore. Instead your eyes were glued to the ground as if there was a hidden message carved inside that only you could see. “So, please, Y/N, for your sake… just forget about me all together. Forget I ever existed, forget this ever happened. Just promises me to move on, okay? I don’t deserve your tears anyway…”

Before you could even respond, he was already gone. The cold wind from outside lashing at your face mercilessly while all you could do was stand there, unmoving… and you just knew that you couldn’t make that promise.

How could you ever forget him?

***

Part Two

[dumbikawa]

Being Stressed About Exams & HQ Boys Comforting You

GN!Reader | Comfort/Fluff | Warnings: stressed reader

Characters: Atsumu, Oikawa

A/n: This is extremely self-indulgent as school has been kicking my butt and the future post-graduation is very terrifying lol

ATSUMU

You stare at the computer in front of you, the text you’re supposed to read for class beginning to swim together as your eyes fill with tears. Everything is happening too fast and you feel completely unprepared to take any of it on. What if you spent all of this time and money on schooling only to fail so close to the end? What if you finally do finish, but then can’t find a job in your field? Should you have studied something else? The questions become more exhausting and constant the closer it gets to exams. 

Small droplets roll off your cheeks and begin to pool on your keyboard. You haphazardly wipe them away before powering off the computer and tucking it back in your bag. Out of sight, out of mind, you figure. It’s not like there’s any use in trying to finish it tonight when you can already feel another wave of stress induced tears coming on. Those have also become a regular thing.

You click the volume button on your phone so that the sounds of music fill the room before leaning back in the desk chair, testing the limits of how far you can recline before gravity takes over. Atsumu had made this study playlist for you when he first noticed how stressed you were. It contained a mixture of your favorite songs, his favorite songs, and a few ‘motivational’ songs he pulled from his work-out playlists. It was a bit of a weird Frankenstein mash up with the large variety of genres, but it quickly became one of your studying must haves.

Over the sound of the music, you couldn’t hear the shower click off and the door to the bathroom swinging open. When Atsumu steps out, he sees you sitting where he’d left you, although, in a more dangerous position than you’d been in before as he notices the way the desk char teeters back and forth. His attention is quickly caught by the music choice, though, recognizing one of the songs playing as a favorite of his he added to the playlist he made for you a couple weeks ago. A smile breaks through his face as he hurriedly jumps into a pair of sweatpants before approaching your quiet figure.

As he comes up behind you, though, he notices a slight glisten upon your cheeks and a few fresh tears that tumble from your closed eyes. His upturned lips quickly sink as worry floods through him. Exams had been taking a toll on you, it wasn’t hard to tell, but he would never get used to seeing you cry.

“Baby,” he whispers, gently wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “What can I do for ya? Food? Cuddles? Cry it out?” You nod, resting the chair back on the ground and practically launching yourself into his arms.

Atsumu catches you with ease, his strong arms holding you against his chest. His hand rubs up and down your spine, sending shivers racing down you back, but there's no ulterior motive to his gentle touches. He continues the soft touches as he guides you to the bed, only letting you go for a second before allowing you to bury yourself in his side again.

“What if I can’t do it?” you whisper, trailing your fingers across Atsumu's toned chest. “I’ve studied for so long, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if--What if I don’t actually know anything and I crash and burn and--”

Atsumu shushes you gently, placing a few comforting kisses to your forehead. He notices your breathing beginning to grow heavier as your anxiety takes over. There's a few moments of silence as you try to match your breathing to his, the two of you taking slow, deep breaths in sync.

“The future might be unsure and stressful, but I know you’re going to do your best and make it work. All you can do is continue to work towards your goals and handle everything as it comes. Not to mention, I’m always going to be here to remind you of how strong you are even if you don’t see it.”

A new wave of tears begins as his words echo through your ears. You bury your face in his chest as your arms wrap around his waist in an attempt to pull yourself as close to him as you physically can be. Somehow he knew exactly what you needed to hear and a part of you wonders if he’s ever repeated those sentiments to himself when things felt unsure.

He continues to whisper reassurances as you fully relax against him, your tears finally beginning to dry up. You lift your head and offer him a weak smile.

“Thanks for letting me cry on your abs,” you sniffle, allowing yourself to truly laugh.

Atsumu feels lighter as he watches you smile and joke, hopefully being able to forget about the more stressful parts of life for a while as he holds you close. There’s been countless times where you eased his worries about the future, so he’s just happy that he can return the favor and create a safe space where you’re allowed to simply be.

OIKAWA

The cup in your hand is warm and comforting as you trudge towards your bedroom, a sense of dread washing over you as soon as your eyes land upon the laptop you left sitting open on the bed. With finals coming up, you thought it would be a good idea to transfer the notes you had written down during lectures onto your computer, figuring it would make them easier to access and that the process of going back through the information would be a good way to ensure you remember the material.

What you didn’t realize, however, is how absolutely time consuming and exhausting it was going to be. Your neck hurts from constantly looking back and forth between the paper and computer screen, your back hurts because somewhere along the way you abandoned any semblance of healthy posture and decided to go full cave gremlin in the way you hunched over your work, and instead of absorbing the information for a second time it seemed as if your brain had completely abandoned you and gone on autopilot. Shoving the computer off the bed and taking a nap feels like the best course of action right now, but you know if you stop now there’s no way you’re going to want to finish later.

Begrudgingly, you settle back onto the bed and take a large swig of coffee before stretching your fingers and placing them back on the keyboard. It couldn’t take that much longer right? All you have to do is push through and get it done.

And, for the next few hours, that’s what you do. You jump back in where you left off and race through the next few, gruelingly long chapters. The daylight outside quickly dwindles away until you’re forced to turn on the bedside lamp when you realize the sun has sunk far below the horizon and is beginning to cast bizarre shadows around the room. It was no bother, though, because you’re so close to being done. The issue is that neither your brain nor your body could keep up anymore.

Your fingers keep hitting the wrong keys, typing made up words that have you constantly backspacing and starting sentences over again for a third of even a fourth time. The breaking point comes when you go to take a sip of your now cold coffee and look back at the screen after attempting to type an entire paragraph from your notes in one go. Little did you know your finger placement was off, yet again, and the entire paragraph is an unreadable mess that even spell check doesn’t want to touch.

The tears that sting your eyes make you feel stupid. It was entirely too dumb to cry over something as superficial as misspellings that could be easily fixed and cold coffee. But once the tears start they won’t stop. Suddenly, you’re not crying over the notes or even school work in general. You’re crying about the crushing weight of change that's soon to come once you finish with classes and how impossible everything has begun to feel.

You’re too exhausted to focus on anything anymore, letting the hot tears run down your cheeks freely, which is why you don’t hear the rushed footsteps of your boyfriend who could hear your hiccuping breaths from down the hall. 

He doesn’t say anything when he sees you curled up on the bed, your face buried in your arms. Oikawa sits on the ground closest to you and lays his head near yours as he begins to run his slender fingers through your hair. It doesn't take a psychic to tell you've been stressed with the quickly approaching exams, and from the collection of notes littered all around to the half closed computer the dots practically connect themselves.

The slight dip on the bed near your head alerts you to his presence, but you don't move. His hands guiding themselves over your scalp is quick to relax your body, but your mind feels like it's about to burst any moment as the thoughts continue to race.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispers against your temple, planting soft kisses after every word, “and you deserve to take a break. Remember when you used to have to tell me that all the time?" The feeling of his quiet laughter against your skin makes you smile, along with the memories of simpler times before either of you had barely begun to grasp how harsh the world could be.

"I picked up dinner for us, it was an apology for coming home late," he admits, kissing the top of your head. "But let's go heat it up and you can either tell me everything you're worried about or we can try to forget all about it for now and watch a movie. I'd really like it if you talked about it eventually, though. I know I'm not going to be able to fix it all, but that doesn't mean I can't try."

You turn your head to the side, exposing your tear stained cheeks that are quickly wiped away by Oikawa's calloused thumbs.

"I will," you say, voice heavy. "For now could you just hold me?" There isn't a second of hesitation as Oikawa slips his arms beneath your figure and presses you tightly against him.

"Movie it is," he announces, laying you on the couch with the remotes so that you could put on whatever you want. Your brain would never stop the constant anxious thoughts, but losing yourself in those chocolate brown eyes made it easy to imagine a future where it all works out somehow. Little do you know, Oikawa sees the same thing reflected in your eyes as he wonders about the right time, perhaps a couple years from now when you've both settled down in your careers, when he can finally buy that ring he's been looking at.

[sukiglycerin]

birds (not) of a feather || keigo takami.

* pairing: hawks x fem pro-hero!reader

* genre: canonverse(???), terribly indulgent smut, pwp, enemies w benefits

* words: 3,111

* warnings: i just packed a shitload of kinks into this, dom!hawks, sub!reader, daddy kink, dirty talk, semi-public sex (a bathroom), quirk play aka feather play (not tickling), reader is kiNda a brat, fingering, orgasm denial, cum eating, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (pls.,., wrap it before you tap it irl), degradation, breeding kink, humiliation, dumbification, creampie, aftercare (duh), i’m so sorry for this i’ll finish my sfw angst thing now

* a/n: inspired by this text post... oh god, this is filthy. apologies for the slightly late update, but here it finally is!! @toishi is an absolute angel for proofreading this at like 1 in the morning. i hope you enjoy this! if you liked this, feel free to request anything you’d like to see from me <3

there was something about hawks that was infuriating. you couldn't tell exactly what was the breaking point; his messy hair, his plush smirk, or his eyes. his eyes, typically glazed over with a mixture of cockiness and devil-may-care hawtiness, were perhaps the most charming part to him, if you asked any fangirl. the markings around them only made him prettier, but infuriatingly so; and when you put together the entire package of 'hawks,' you got an extremely punchable person. 

yet sometimes, during extremely rare instances - perhaps when the light hits him just right or when one of his feathers is placed just perfectly - the word 'punchable' is replaced with 'fuckable.' and when you say fuckable, you mean him fucking you. it only aggravates you more.

you can't recall exactly when you started hating him or exactly when you became fuckbuddies (well, more like fuckenemies), but what you can recall is that the closets at hawks' agency are unreasonably large. not that they can't be used to your advantage, on multiple occasions (especially when hawks ruts). you're sitting next to hawks as some entrepreneur attempts to sell his ideas to market heroes and gain more profit. none of the pro-heroes sitting in the room seem particularly engaged. you're practically falling asleep; hawks' doodles on your notepad keeping you awake. you can't exactly complain, though the doodles take up space on an otherwise blank page, it's entertaining. you're far past gone being alert, however; your eyelids droop one last time before you see an oddly phallic shaped doodle behind your eyelashes. goddamn hawks.

"really?" you hiss at him, pushing his hand away.

he shrugged, lazily smiling. "you like it."

"like what? lewd imagery in my work notepad?"

"no." his voice drops an octave, fatally gravelly, "my cock."

you flush at his obscene language. "don't-" you whisper, but you're cut off by hawks' muffled giggles as he points to another one of his doodles. a rooster. you purse your lips. ever-so immature, hawks.

"yeah, but i bet you like the first one a lot more, don'tcha, chickadee?" his pet name has your brain stuttering. "you like my cock so much, hm?"

"fuck you, hawks," you breathe.

"you can try, feather." his voice is dripping with cockiness. "i bet, even in professional times like these, you think about my cock. in business meetings, you look so professional, so serious, but little does everyone know - you're dreaming about my cock stretching your tight little cunt out, making you scream my goddamn name. i bet you salivate just thinking about my cock fucking you good, hm? isn't that right, chickadee?"

you huff, not meeting his eyes as you search for a witty comeback. your silence gives hawks' ego a boost; he smirks wider.

"you know it's true, huh?" he purrs. "you think of me wherever you go. in public, filing paperwork, when you touch yourself in bed... you just like it so much, you're my slut. who knew the nation's favorite pro-hero would drop to her knees to the sight of anyone's cock?"

"yeah, i touch myself whenever i think of you," you mutter saltily under your breath. you ignore the growing arousal in your panties at his provocative words. hawks goes quiet, eyes wide.

"more specifically, i rub my temples because i get a headache because you're so damn awful."

"well fuck, dove," he chuckles. he leans in close to your ear. "maybe i'll give you something to think about."

a shiver curls itself down your spine. "hawks-"

he hushes you, jotting something in your notepad. he excuses himself from the room, leaving a feather laying on his seat in place of him. you read the note. "women's bathroom, down the hall to the left. no one uses it."

a pump of adrenaline fills you; your heart skips a beat.

once you slip out, your heart plays a game of jump rope, the rhythm filling your ears. down the hall, to the left... you wonder what hawks has in store for you. your brain recreates images of past escapades you engaged in with the man; a quickie in his office, another in an alley, and once, him fucking you just before a meeting. your panties grow damper, unable to mask the anticipation you feel within yourself.

"hi, sweetpea," hawks cooes as soon as you enter the restroom. "fancy seeing you here."

"you invited-"

"hush, i didn't give you permission to speak, did i?" he snaps. "good girls who behave are rewarded."

a whimper slips out of you, and you nod.

"safeword, birdie?"

"sunflower."

"good girl." he hums. "so obedient, once disciplined... maybe i should do this more. i bet you'd like that... being such a slut when anyone could walk in." "hawks..." you start, but he doesn't have it.

the hero stalks toward you. if eyes could kill, you'd be murdered within seconds; his irises are dark, pupils blown, and a shadow has fallen over his face. he looks predatory like this - truly living up to his name. it's graceful, the self-control he assumes whence walking toward you. 

said self-control is completely abandoned as soon as your bodies meet. you're completely enraptured in his shadow as the man loomed over you, his wings contributing greatly to the effect. he's the predator, and you're the prey. 

his arm separates your neck from the wall, his hand clutching the back of your head. the free hand moves itself to caress your jaw in a strangely gentle manner, while his knee pushes its way in between your legs, making your upper thighs into a home. his hand nudges your head forward towards his, and then you're kissing him with such ferocity it's animalistic. tongues clash and you're no longer sure whose spit is whose; it dribbles down your chin the way blood drips from the thirsty lips of a vampire.

hawks growls - he actually growls - while he hastily unbuttons your top and slips his tongue into your mouth. you shamelessly grind down against his clothed pant leg, careless that your wetness will leave a stain. 

he pulls away, a string of saliva snapping between you and leaving you two gasping for breath. 

"fuck, fuck, baby bird," hawks wipes his mouth with his sleeve. his lips are swollen, their colour resembling a cherry lollipop with a sheen of gloss. damn, he's pretty. you never realized how good-looking a guy in a suit could be. his eyes are darker than a raven's, and it looks as though he'll devour you whole. 

"come." hawks gestures for you, walking towards the sinks and large mirror above them. as soon as you near a foot from hawks, he grabs you, one hand on your waist and the other on your throat. 

"look at you..." he tsks, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror. you're completely disheveled, hair a mess and eyes blown dark. your top is wrinkled slightly, your breasts peaking out through the unbuttoned gap and your skirt pushed up.

"so messy already..." the hand on your waist moves up and squeezes your breast, tweaking a nipple through your bra.

"you just fucking melt for me, like a good whore," he says.

oh, how you hate how easily hawks can win you over.

"fuck you," you scoff half-heartedly. "are you gonna fuck me, or not? we don't have all day."

"won't be a problem, lovebird," he says breezily. "judging by how much you fucking soaked my pant leg, i could have you coming undone without my cock even touching your dirty cunt.

you glance at his thigh, which has a blatant dark spot on it, and feel your heart race in humiliation. you can only stay silent, knowing he's right. the sensation in your core is painfully obvious to you, as if taunting you more.

"obeying now?" he teases, a wicked smile gracing his face. "bend over the counter, sweetpea."

you huff, obliging. hawks deftly moves his fingers, unbuttoning your shirt. you shiver, your hot skin colliding with the cold, unforgiving marble. 

"spread your legs - good, good, like that..." his breath tickles your ear, "you like how the air touches your sopping pussy? how exposed you fucking feel, all spread out for me when anyone could walk in? me, the number 2 pro-hero..." god, he was so cocky it was infuriating.

"shut up," you grumble.

"what?" his voice is sharp, cutting clean through the air. "is that anyway to treat your daddy?"

you fucking hate the title. you hate how hawks harnesses it as his own, how he so personifies the word - how good it fits him, sounding like sugar off his lips.

two of his fingers meet your clothed folds. "answer me, birdie."

"n-no," you squeak out. 

"no, who?" he spits.

"no, daddy." 

you inch your head up to look in the mirror, and hawks is smiling. 

"what to do with you, what to do with you..." he sounds gleeful, sadistic undertones tinting his words with a faded rose red. so pretty, yet so painful. your head goes back down onto the counter, your cheek pressed against it.

"naughty birds deserve punishment, don'tcha think?" 

you can't find it in yourself to form a coherent word; instead, a clumsy moan falls from your lips. hawks' fingers press harder against your cunt; you're sure they've gotten at least a little damp.

compromised in such a position, your senses make you suddenly aware of your surroundings; the way the counter digs into your hips, how the coolness is starting to fade under your body. you're aware of your every breath, the fluttering in your stomach every time hawks presses your clit. you're aware of the inherent eroticism of your acts, and how you don't really hate hawks; no, no, no - how he just infuriates you.

he's the ideal hero, in your eyes - laidback, charming, and yet so skilled at his work. it amazes you. one can only strive to be so multifaceted, and it explains his status as number 2 hero. you work so hard, yet he can achieve all the things you dream in half a heartbeat.

"let's get these out of the way." hawks, hooking a digit into the band of your panties, forces them down in an instant. you instinctively clench at the air which meets your nether lips, your juices leaking out of them like a honeyed nectar.

"so messy," hawks comments. "can't even control yourself without your panties. you like being such a slut for daddy, huh?"

you grumble in protest.

"huh?" his index and ring finger plunge into your pussy, making a loud squelching sound.

"d-daddy," you blurt a moan out, falling apart on his fingers.

"that's more like it, feather." hawks sets a moderate pace on your pussy, curling to hit your sweet spot. the noises from your cunt and mouth fail to cease, and you throw a hand over the latter to muffle your whimpers.

you start to feel a burning sensation rise in your stomach; a toe-curling, warm feeling like sunlight shining in the morning.

"daddy, daddy, hngg- i'm so close."

you're so close to the sunlight, to being showered in the blissful heat. just one more stroke and-

you're suddenly empty, and the light starts to slowly recede.

"daddy!" you complain, shifting your legs and rubbing your thighs together. "bad birds get punishment," he shrugs. "though i must say... you like it when i bend you over the counter, huh? your little pussy is dripping all over it for me, and i've barely touched you... i bet you're getting off to this right now; when anyone could walk in, huh? filthy slut. you're already begging for more... hm, maybe i should make you lick up the mess you've made..."

"d-addy, no, i've taken my punishment, please let me cum..."

hawks sounded indifferent, as if he were merely studying his nails. "beg for it."

"wh-" you clench your hands in your skirt. you do not particularly enjoy begging - for anything or anyone. despite the pulsing in your cunt, and how hard it is not to give in, you don't want to give hawks the satisfaction of winning. "p-psh, didn't really need your cock anyway..." you grumble. you exhale quietly, calming the adrenaline pumping in your blood from the loss of your orgasm.

something in him changes, and a scarlet feather tickles your lips. you're confused; what does hawks want you to do?

"suck."

you exhale in confusion, blowing the feather away. "suck?"

you crane your neck up at the mirror to catch a glimpse of hawks. he looks deadly - there's no other way to put it. his eyes are sharply trained on you, his wings buff and towering over him. you think you see a bulge in his pants, straining for freedom.

"well?" the feather dusts your lips once again, teasing you to trap it in between your lips. your head drops, falling against the counter. you open your mouth, and the tip of the feather rests on your tongue. your lips close around it, and you hesitantly suck. you're not sure what you were expecting; it's a feather, soft and flimsy in your mouth.

you jolt at an indistinct tickling feeling against your clit. you look back, feather hanging out of your mouth, to see hawks leaning back on a stall. he's not within reach to touch you, so...

"hng!" the foreign object presses your clit. the pressure strengthens against your tight bundle of nerves, and you can feel your slick drip out of you even more. a feather; though hawks made the consistency a bit more solid. the feather pushes against your pussy like a seesaw, making you reach for your high. you shut your eyes tight, lost in the feeling and desperate for release. the feather drags up and down your cunt, eliciting lewd noises, while your lips are clamped shut around the feather in your mouth. saliva pools in your mouth the more the feather teases your wet sex, and the familiar build of tension starts in your stomach. you yearn for the heat returned in full, to be so fulfilled in pleasure, and you rut against the feather in an attempt to reach your climax faster. the stimulation is suddenly gone, leaving you crying out.

"look at this," hawks sneers. a single, wet feather, dripping in a substance far thicker than water hovers in front of you. "open your mouth."

the feather slips out, and is replaced with a salty tasting one.

the taste of your arousal fills your tongue, and before you're given time to dwell on it, you feel warmth pressing against the back of your thighs. there's a clanking of metal, a shuffle of fabric, and you feel the tip of hawks' cock pressing against you.

"look at you, baby, so desperate for a fuckin' feather," he rasps in your ear. "should i show you how much better my cock is? hmm?"

you nod dumbly, the feather bobbing with you. 

"fuck," he groans, pushing himself into your depths. "so wet, so- slick- goddamn baby bird, you like it when i stuff you full of this cock?"

you hum a noise against the feather in your mouth, agreeing. he slipped into your pussy smoothly, lubricated by the abundance of your slick. once in, snuggled in deep, something in the man's composure snaps; he thrusts mercilessly, pounding deep in you. his fingers hold your hips, bruising them, you're sure - and the pain is sweet, a sick lolly against your tongue. 

"fuck, fuck, daddy's gonna fuck his babies into you, betcha'd like that, huh?"  you can't articulate your words properly with the feather in your mouth, but you attempt to agree. he doesn't care, continuing with his degradation.

"you're gonna give me my chicks, huh? be my bitch," he pants heavily. god, you can just imagine how he looks; hair falling onto his sweat-matted forehead, his eyes completely lascivious. a wanton moan spills from your mouth, and the feather falls, but hawks doesn't make notice of this. he continues to slam into you, pace unforgiving, burying himself to the hilt inside of you. squelching noises fill the bathroom, echoing off the walls.

you can only moan and clench around him unintelligently. 

"look at you... all fuckin' stupid and obedient, all for daddy, hm? so willing to let daddy use you as a cumdump, daddy's personal- fucking- cumslut- but you like that, huh? your pretty pussy's clenching around me. you like being talked down to, don'tcha? such a dirty slut. look at that, you're drooling."

two of hawks' fingers shove themselves into your mouth, and you salivate around them. it's messy, you know, and spit trails down your chin.

"look at me, chickadee," he commands. you crane your neck to look at him, eyes wide. "fuck, so slutty," he grunts. "you really like this, don't you? fuck- exposing your fucking cunt to every guy, huh? being used as nothing but a filthy fucktoy?"

you shake your head rapidly in disagreement, cheeks heating up. 

"no?" he chuckles darkly. "just my fucktoy, then?"

you reluctantly nod. 

"my stupid lil baby... so pretty with daddy's fingers shoved in her mouth..." he coos, and a surprising, fuzzy feeling emerges from the praise.

his unoccupied hand reaches down in between your thighs to stimulate your clit, rubbing fast circles against the bud. warmth pools and ties a knot in your stomach. the sugared indulgence of release that you'd so craved comes into view; the knot tightening and tightening and you feel fit to burst.

"c-cum for me, baby bird, cum for me, y/n," he stutters, making a guttural sound in the back of his throat. the fingers in your mouth pull out, falling onto your hips. the tight knot bursts into violent fireworks of ecstasy; your cunt gushes around hawks' cock, convulsing madly. the pleasure shatters you, and everything becomes a haze. you go limp against the counter, thighs shaking. you're not sure how much time has passed - hawks had been fucking you through orgasm, and, at one point, came as well.

"hey, feather," he whispers gently to you. "you did so well for me..." he strokes your back, making a plethora of calming coos and humming sounds

"did so well," you mumble. 

"don't worry about anything, dove, i've got it all handled."

your thoughts are all fog, and you allow yourself to lean into hawks. this is one of the rare times you're vulnerable completely to him; at his mercy, after a particularly hard session. rather, it's one of the rare moments that your true feelings are revealed; how your hatred is baseless, built on jealousy and attraction you deny.

not that you'll admit it.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

no grave can hold my body down – 1/2

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: It took time to get Jason Todd away from the darkness. Sometimes it felt like he was always standing at a tipping point, at risk of completely losing himself. But not when he was with her. She made him better and she would continue to make him better. 

Word Count: 5,500 

A/N: I am very new to this fandom and extremely nervous to write something for it. To clarify, I have not read any of the comics. But I’ve watched a lot of the TV and movie adaptations, and have done a lot of research. Jason is much older in this – like 30? – and therefore the rest of the BatFam is older, as well. But this takes place after Jason Todd is resurrected, but is still on rocky territory with his family. 

Jason dropped down to the fire escape of his apartment with a quietness that seemed impossible for how large he was. 

On the other side of the small fire escape, Y/N sat with a blanket over her lap, a book in her hand, and a mug of coffee balanced perfectly on the metal grates. 

“Thought I told you not to wait up for me,” Jason greeted, knowing she noticed his arrival, but just kept reading her book. His book, to be precise. 

It was almost 4AM and Jason had called it a night after taking out an entire drug cartel. It had been a lot of waiting, until it finally led up to 20 minutes of utter chaos. He left them on a silver platter for the police to arrest them and actually clean up the mess.

Y/N finally looked up at him and he saw how tired her eyes seemed. But she gave him a soft smile, clearly happy to see him home and...alive. 

A pang of guilt went through him. He did that to her. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she told him with a shrug. 

Jason slowly nodded. Then he nudged his head towards the book, “Jane Eyre again?”

She smirked. “It’s a comfort read.” 

He smiled back at her – which she couldn’t even see, because he was still wearing the red helmet that covered his entire head. 

“You shouldn’t stay out here so long. It’s too cold.”

“I was waiting for you,” she countered. 

“I thought you couldn’t sleep.”

“I couldn’t…because I was worried about you,” she finally admitted. 

There it was. 

“You have a voicemail on your cellphone. Alfred called,” she quickly added to change the subject.  

Jason left his personal cellphone at home when he was on patrol, not wanting any sort of pointless distractions. Y/N had a direct line to his comms if there was an emergency, which was the only thing he cared about. His old family could figure out ways to contact him if they really wanted to. But he didn’t go out of his way to give them that info. 

“Get inside before you catch a cold,” he told her as he nodded toward the open window. 

She chuckled at his attempt to sound stern. It was hard for her to take it seriously. But she listened to him anyway, knowing that if she tried to ignore him, it would end in him dragging her inside. And that was not a physical battle she ever had a chance at winning. 

30 minutes later, Y/N was laying in bed and still reading her book as Jason tried to erase the night. 

He always took long, scolding showers after patrol. Even if there was no blood to be washed away, there was always a need to cleanse himself of…something. 

Y/N had asked him if he was hurt as she crawled through the window back inside their apartment.

“I’m fine,” he’d insisted. 

But she knew “fine” just meant he didn’t need stitches, or bones reset, or the need to call the actual doctor he had a certain under-the-table deal with. She also knew she shouldn’t be surprised when he took off his clothes and she would see new bruises and shallow cuts covering his skin. 

Jason finally crawled into bed with nothing but his black briefs. His hair still wet from the burning shower he just took. 

He let out a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. 

It was always a battle for Y/N, trying to figure out when to leave Jason to his thoughts and when to force him to talk. She knew he couldn’t drown himself in his own mind. But she also knew she couldn’t pretend to be his therapist. 

“J?” She asked him softly as she put her book down. 

“Hmm?” He asked, looking at her. 

“You OK?”

He nodded. 

She let it be. 

Jason turned his gaze back to the ceiling. “Alfred has a foundation to raise money for under-funded schools in Gotham. It’s all him, but it has Bruce’s name all over it so all the rich assholes will want to save face with the Wayne family by donating.”

“I can support that type of manipulation,” Y/N said with a smirk. 

“He holds a gala at Wayne Manor for it every year. Gets them at least a mil every time.”

She listened closely. 

Then Jason looked at her again. “He asked me to come this year.”

“Oh,” her face fell. 

Jason had told Y/N about his tumultuous relationship with his family. While he mended most of the damage with his brothers, he wasn’t quite willing to do so with Bruce. Y/N didn’t try to push Jason to reconcile with his adoptive father. She understood his heartbreak and frustrations there. She wasn’t a huge fan of Bruce herself after learning the damage he’d done to her boyfriend. 

But it was because of the past traumas that Y/N hadn’t met any of Jason’s hodgepodge, vigilante family. 

She also guessed that it was his overprotectiveness of her that stopped him from wanting to fully submerge her in that part of his life. To Jason, the less she knew about the Bat Family, the safer she was. 

“He asked me to bring you, too.” Jason suddenly added. 

Y/N blinked. “I…I didn’t realize they knew about me.”

He smirked at that. “Of course they do.”

“Even Bruce?” 

His smirk disappeared. “Well, I didn’t tell him. But he’s a nosey son of a bitch. And even if he didn’t figure it out for himself, one of my brothers probably ran their mouth.”

Y/N didn’t think Jason and Bruce had a conversation out of uniform since he became the Red Hood. Probably hadn’t even addressed each other by their actual names in years. 

Y/N fully turned on her side to face her boyfriend and scooted closer. “What do you want to do?” She asked carefully. 

Jason sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Then he too turned on his side and stole a look at her. She looked so tired, but still beautiful. He knew he put her through too much. He didn’t deserve her. And she deserved a better man than he could ever be. He had guilt on his conscience, blood on his hands. He was the poster child for the harshness that was Gotham. She was a normal woman who would’ve never gotten mixed up in this world if it weren’t for him. 

But Y/N insisted that she wanted to be here. Told him so by just staying each and every day, and never questioning her decision. Even left New York City to slum it in Gotham with him. 

Jason brushed some hair away from her face. 

“You’d come with me?”

Her face scrunched from him even feeling the need to ask. “Of course.” Then she gave him a sad look, “I’ve been wanting to meet your family for awhile.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked. 

Her eyes darkened. “You know why, J.” 

He stayed silent. 

“Listen, I know things haven’t been…good with your family. But I also know that they raised you. Whether you want to admit it or not, a lot of the man you are today is because of them. And I happen to love that man. So, yeah, I’ve wanted to meet them.” 

Jason had a look full of love that he was trying to contain. “Come here,” he demanded with a grin. 

Y/N giggled and moved into his arms. 

Jason immediately pivoted her body so she was hovering over him. Without any hesitation, he pulled her down for a kiss. 

“It’s gonna be filled with rich snobs and ass kissers. Don’t go hoping for a fun time,” he warned her as he narrowed his gaze playfully. 

“Then you’re really gonna need me there. Who else is gonna make fun of them with you?” She teased. 

Then a thought suddenly occurred to her. “Will this be a fancy affair?”

“Unfortunately.”

Her gaze darkened. “So, I’m gonna see you in a suit, huh?”

Jason pinched her sides. 

Y/N yelped before laughing, “Do you even own a suit? I’ve never seen it in your closet.”

Suddenly he flipped her body so he was now the one hovering over her. Y/N couldn’t ignore Jason’s massive size when she was caged below him like that.  “You’re on thin ice, kid.” 

“Oooh. I’m so scared,” she mocked. 

Jason almost looked offended.

But he sighed, getting back to the previous subject. “If I have to wear a suit, that means you have to wear a dress.”

“Or I could wear a suit, too.” She countered and raised a brow at him. 

He smirked at her challenge. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one either.” 

That seemed to please her. 

“I promise I’ll look real pretty. Ya know, really play the part of the arm candy for the famous Jason Todd.” 

Jason scoffed. “You’re always beautiful.” Then his gaze darkened. “And the arm candy was always Bruce and Dick’s thing. Not mine.”

“OK. So what should I be?” 

“My accomplice,” Jason confirmed. 

——————————————————

Y/N fidgeted in the back seat of the car as the black car drove to the outskirts of Gotham and to the Wayne Estate. 

Jason had sent her a text from his patrol comms about something coming up. Vague, as always. He did it to keep her in the dark as much as possible. 

Apparently he’d tried to tell Alfred they couldn’t make it. But the old man wouldn’t let him off the hook that easily. He told Jason he’d send a car for Y/N and that he better show up too. 

Y/N had worn her fanciest dress, curled her hair, and done her makeup to perfection. She knew she could dress the part, but it was the acting bit that had her stressed out. 

Despite Jason’s relationship with his family, she still dreaded the thought that they wouldn’t like her and that they wouldn’t approve. Yeah, they were secretly vigilantes, but they were also the richest people in Gotham. 

Y/N swallowed as the car parked right outside the front entrance of Wayne Manor. There seemed to already be hundreds of people there. Everyone looked rich and fancier than Y/N could ever even pretend to be. 

‘You’re here for Jason. You’re here for Jason.’ She repeated in her mind as the driver opened the door for her and offered his hand.

Y/N told herself to become a character as she held her head high and made her way into the mansion. 

“Mansion” didn’t even seem to cover it. Y/N felt like she was in a Jane Austen novel or Downton Abbey. 

Guests eyed her as soon as she made her way inside. She was much younger than the general demographic of the party. It seemed that old money also meant literally old. 

She did a once over to see if she could find Jason. But he was nowhere to be found. Y/N decided she needed a drink to face a gala full of unwelcoming strangers alone. 

She ignored the curious and judgmental gazes as she made her way to one of the many bars set up through the home. 

‘Maybe red was too much,’ her imposter syndrome was telling her. Clearly it was making her stick out. But she knew Jason loved seeing her in red. 

Y/N quickly ordered a strong drink from the bartender, who was kind enough to sense that this young woman needed liquid courage and she needed it fast. 

“Are you sure you meant to use that bottle?” A male voice came up beside her, speaking to the bartender on her behalf. 

Y/N turned to see a very boyishly handsome man with blue eyes and brown hair so dark that it was almost black. 

He gave that bartender a look and Y/N watched as he nervously grabbed the much more expensive brand – the one Y/N would never in her life buy for herself. 

“Thank you,” Y/N said as politely as possible when the bartender slid the drink towards her. 

Then she turned her attention to the young man. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

He gave her a crooked smirk. “You deserve the very best.”

Y/N might not have ever met Jason’s brothers. But they were famous enough to make frequent appearances in the media. Everyone in Gotham knew what the Wayne kids looked like. Especially Dick Grayson, who seemed to thrive in the spotlight in a similar manner to his father. 

“Oh? And how do you know what I deserve? You don’t know me at all,” Y/N challenged with a tilt of her head. 

Her sass seemed to excite him. 

“Well, I was hoping, since I saved you from the cheap stuff, that you’d give me a chance to.” 

Y/N shook her head with an almost baffled smile. This faux charm and air of confidence was so unlike Jason’s. While Jason was quietly confident and sure of himself. It came almost from a place of nihilism. But Dick…Dick had an edge of haughtiness and self importance. 

“Your reputation precedes you, Dick Grayson,” Y/N cooed, with mischievous glint in her gaze, before taking a sip of her drink. He was right: this was the good stuff. 

Dick’s amusement seemed to falter now that she confessed to knowing exactly who he was. “And what reputation is that exactly?”

“Cocky, charming…flirtatious.”

Dick didn’t seem to mind these adjectives at all. In fact, he seemed rather proud of himself. He stepped a little closer to her. “It feels a little unfair that you seem to know me, but I haven’t even gotten your name.” 

Y/N tried to suppress her smile. She was really starting to enjoy this little game. “You’ll realize soon enough.” 

“Well, until then…” He stepped even closer and somehow managed to put his hand on her back without it feeling creepy. “Would you like to dance?” 

“Move that hand any lower, Dick, and I’ll fuckin’ break it,” Jason said from behind Y/N. 

Dick barely moved away from Y/N, but looked at his brother with confusion. 

Y/N turned and maneuvered her body away from Dick’s grasp. 

Then she smiled at Jason as she took in the sight of her boyfriend wearing a suit. Like, a real suit, not one made for a vigilante. He managed to tame his hair without using too much product. And his face had its signature scruff but cleaned up a bit. 

“How long has this one been annoying you?” Jason asked her. 

“Not long,” she replied before giving him a sweet kiss. 

Y/N turned to face Dick again, but remained close to Jason’s side. On instinct alone, Jason placed his hand on her back and pulled her even closer. It wasn’t possessive, but a habit he formed to comfort himself.

Dick blinked as his mind clearly figured out the change in situation. 

“You’re Y/N?” He asked her. 

She smirked. “Told you that you’d realize it soon enough.” 

“Dick, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is, Dick Grayson.”

Y/N didn’t miss how Jason didn’t refer to Dick as his brother. 

To his credit, Dick recovered rather quickly and politely offered his hand. Y/N didn’t hesitate to shake it. After all, she still wanted to make a good impression on his family. And the flirting was harmless. 

“I apologize for…” Dick’s words died out. 

“Hitting on me?” Y/N offered with a laugh. “I would say I’m flattered, but I’m sure I’m one of many women you will be making moves on tonight.” 

“Do it again, and I’ll swap out the rubber bullets in my guns, Dick.” Jason half warned and half joked. 

Dick seemed unfazed by the threat. “Why don’t you say it a little louder so more people can hear?”

Jason ignored his brother’s warning. 

He turned his gaze down to Y/N. “Let’s go introduce you to Alfred.”

Jason held her hand as he made his way through the crowd. It wasn’t hard to do. Y/N assumed it had to do with him technically being a Wayne or perhaps it was his large and imposing frame that told people to get the hell out of his way. 

Then Y/N was standing in front of an elderly man who had perfect posture and mischievous edge to his welcoming smile. 

“Master Jason, I see that you have finally brought Ms. Y/L/N for me to meet,” Alfred said with a smile. 

Out of all his siblings and father, Alfred seemed to be the only family member that Jason didn’t hold any sort of grudge against. Though Y/N wasn’t really sure what anyone would have against him. From everything she heard, he sounded absolutely lovely. 

He held out his hand, which Y/N instantly went to shake. But instead, Alfred brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. There was something about this family that made everything they do seem charming rather than creepy and uncomfortable.

Y/N laughed at the gesture. “It’s so nice to meet you, Alfred. I’ve heard so much about you.” 

He patted her hand before letting it go gently. “I wish I could say the same for you, dear. But it would appear Master Jason prefers to keep you entirely to himself.” 

She just gave him a polite – yet controlled – smile. Another side effect of Jason being overprotective of her. 

“Thank you for sending the car for me. You didn’t have to do that,” she told him. 

“Oh, nonsense. I would not allow this one to use any excuse for missing tonight.”

Y/N asked him about his foundation with genuine interest. Alfred answered all of her questions with enthusiasm. She wondered how often Alfred got to talk about normal things with the Wayne family. She could only imagine the manor was entirely consumed with matters of vigilantism. 

Alfred also asked Y/N far more questions about herself than she was prepared for. It made her realize that Jason really did keep her quite the secret. Y/N knew she shouldn’t be offended by it, but it made her sad that Jason’s family had clearly shown such an interest in her. Had she known, she may have put more pressure on Jason to introduce her. 

There was a lull in conversation when Alfred’s gaze turned to Jason. 

“Have you spoken with him yet?” He asked evenly. 

They all know who ‘him’ was. 

“I’m here for you, Alfred.” Jason quickly answered. “And we’ve kept you selfishly to ourselves for far too long. I’m sure everyone here wants to talk with you.”

Nice save.

Alfred dipped his head and lowered his voice, “Oh, you are two of the few people here whom I actually wish to converse with…” He finished with a wink before leaving them. 

“And here I thought you got all your charm from Bruce Wayne,” Y/N teased her boyfriend. 

But when she looked up at Jason, he had a dazed looked in his eyes. 

“Hey,” she squeezed his hand in comfort. “You don’t need to talk to him if you don’t want to. In fact, we can go now if you want.”

Jason snapped out of it then. “And leave without destroying this open bar? Absolutely not.” Then he seemed to take her in for the first time that night. “Plus, you deserve to be shown off.”

He leaned down to her ear. “I was so distracted with saving you from Dick that I didn’t get the chance to tell you how beautiful you looked tonight.” 

No matter how many times he said things like that to her or made her feel this way, she still managed to blush at such compliments. 

And for good measure, Jason sealed the praise with a kiss, lightly gripping her chin to make sure she didn’t escape too soon for his liking. 

He barely pulled away from her lips when he smiled and muttered, “Come on. Let’s go steal ourselves a bottle of Dom Pérignon.” 

“Jason,” she scolded in a whisper, “Those cost like $2,000!”

“Exactly.” 

The next hour or so was filled with Jason and Y/N drinking champagne while standing in a corner that protected them from being interrupted. And Y/N did exactly as she promised: joking with Jason about all the stuck up rich people that just came to kiss ass and social climb. 

They were laughing about an old man that was desperately trying to hit on a young woman half his age when someone politely cleared their throat beside them.

But Jason smiled at the interruption. 

A young man, who couldn’t be older than his early 20s, was giving Y/N a delighted smile. However, the first thing she noticed were the shadows under his eyes and how tired he looked. But that didn’t stop his excitement from showing. 

“Y/N, this is my younger brother, Tim Drake. Tim, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

With a dorky enthusiasm, he shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. We’ve all been annoying Jason about bringing you around for quite some time.”

She smiled, “So I’ve heard…” Then she gave Jason a subtle accusatory look.

Tim’s face turned serious, as if he just remembered why he came over in the first place. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Jason would you mind…umm…looking at something for me real quick?”

Jason’s back straightened. 

Tim was trying to be polite to the two’s relationship by keeping out any and all details pertaining to their night life. 

But it was clear to Y/N that was what Tim was referring to. 

Jason looked down at her. 

“You don’t have to babysit me,” she teased him. “Go. I can entertain myself.”

He kissed her cheek and whispered, “If I’m not back in 30 minutes, please come rescue me.” 

She chuckled. “I would, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to find you...” 

“I’ll bring him back in no time, Y/N. Promise.” Tim told her with a beaming smile. 

Y/N watched them go and Jason gave her one last reluctant look over his shoulder before he disappeared around a corner. 

Y/N sighed and poured another glass of champagne and told herself it was time to mingle. But when she looked up, there wasn’t a single person that looked like they had any interest in making new friends. 

‘Some party this is,’ she thought to herself before abandoning her post and deciding to take herself on a tour of Wayne Manor. 

Y/N decided she wanted to escape the curious and judgmental gazes of the party, and found herself in a darker hallway. Candles were lit everywhere, giving it a gothic semblance. 

Y/N’s heartbeat quickened when she realized she’d discovered a hallway filled with artwork. Millions upon millions of dollars worth of artwork, to be precise. 

She was glad no one else seemed to have wandered this far, for she could take her time to look at all of it. 

“I think you might be the only guest of the manor who has ever taken the time to look at the artwork.”

Y/N jumped at the voice and turned to see the infamous Bruce Wayne watching her with what seemed to be amusement. 

He was nearly as tall as Jason – nowhere near as stout, though. But that didn’t seem to matter because he had an intimidating presence that had Y/N realizing it made perfect sense that this man was also Batman.  

She had no idea how long she’d been staring at the paintings. It was easy for her to get lost in art. It tended to consume her.

“Well, not everyone has a Caravaggio casually hanging in their home.”

Bruce chuckled at that. 

“Sorry,” she quickly told him. “I didn’t mean to snoop. I feel like I’m at the Louvre.”

“Please,” he declined such an apology. “No one in that party could tell the difference between an oil and acrylic painting. It’s refreshing to meet someone who can appreciate art.” He paused. “Have you been?”

“Have I been where?”

“To the Louvre.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “Umm...no, sadly. It’s been my dream to go to Paris in general. I don’t speak French, though. So I don’t know how that would work out.”

Bruce Wayne seemed to be listening closely and had genuine interest in what she was saying. Which felt strange to her for some reason. 

Suddenly, Y/N felt like she shouldn’t be talking to him. Jason made it clear he had no intention of making peace tonight. So Y/N figured she was meant to keep her distance as well. 

“I’m…” she began. 

“Y/F/N Y/L/N,” Bruce finished for her. 

She raised a brow, unimpressed. 

Of course Batman would know every single person coming into his home. He probably caught her lingering in this hallway from multiple hidden security cameras. 

He reached out his hand. “Bruce Wayne.”

She hesitated, her eyes flickering between his fixed stare and his offered hand. 

But it ended with her shaking it, nonetheless. 

“Thank you for bringing Jason tonight. I have a feeling he would’ve never shown had it not been for you.”

Y/N’s jaw clenched in an attempt to stop herself from lashing out at Bruce. 

Yes, Jason was protective of her. But Y/N was also protective of Jason. 

It wasn’t the Wayne family that talked Jason out of the darkness. They weren’t the one who comforted him after his nightmares. They weren’t the one who kissed and touched the autopsy scars that he was ashamed of. They weren’t the one who made him realize he wasn’t a failure or a monster, that he was worth something.  

That was Y/N. 

And she wasn’t going to let any of them cause him to relapse.

“Did he tell you not to talk to me?” Bruce questioned.

He wasn’t one to beat around the bush. 

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Jason doesn’t tell me what to do.” 

Bruce smirked at how she didn’t back down and met his confrontation with confidence. “You’re not too fond of me, are you?”

Y/N shifted her weight a bit, but kept quiet, not wanting to confirm or deny his suspicions. 

“I’m not sure what Jason told–”

“He told me everything,” Y/N cut him off sharply. 

Bruce tilted his head. “Surely not everything.” Proving that he knew Jason completely kept Y/N away from his vigilante and crime life. 

Then Y/N lost her composure and took a step toward Bruce. “You call him your greatest failure,” she accused him. 

“Because I let him down.” 

“But it doesn’t matter how you meant it. How do you think that makes him feel?”

Bruce’s body tensed and his jaw tightened. 

Suddenly a dog came running out of nowhere and nearly tackled Y/N. She managed to stay on her feet, but her glass of champagne was knocked from her grasp and shattered on the floor. 

“Titus!” Bruce growled at the dog. 

A second later, a boy came running. 

“Damian, what did I tell you about keeping pets away from parties,” Bruce scolded.

“I apologize,” Damian told Y/N in a voice that should’ve belonged to an adult, rather than a pre-teen boy. But he seemed rather annoyed that he had to apologize to a stranger. 

Y/N chuckled at the black Great Dane. She barely had to bend down to pet the giant dog. “It’s fine. Dogs are always my favorite people I meet at parties.”

Damian looked between his father and Y/N, immediately getting the sense that she was not the average party guest. 

“Who’s she?” He asked bluntly. 

“Damian, this is Y/F/N Y/L/N.” Bruce gestured with an upturned palm. 

“Todd’s companion?” Damian stated, clearly sounding unimpressed. 

Jesus. They really did all know about her.

“Damian…” was all Bruce said to warn his son. 

“I don’t know what you see in him.”

“That’s enough, Damian.” Bruce snapped. 

That finally got the boy to shut his mouth. 

Y/N was about to tell both of them that it was fine. She had expected such greetings from Jason’s youngest brother. 

But her attention was diverted when she noticed Jason standing at the edge of the hallway. 

Bruce followed her gaze. 

There was a stare down between the two men that felt like an hour to Y/N. 

“Jason,” Bruce greeted steadily. 

Jason looked at his family coldly. “Bruce,” he replied with even less emotion. Then he looked down at his youngest brother, “Demon Spawn.”

“Todd,” Damian spat back. 

Jason’s gaze softened when it landed on Y/N. Ignoring the tension, he reached out a hand in her direction. “We should say our goodbyes to Alfred.” 

Y/N nodded and walked to her boyfriend, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. 

He quickly guided them back to the party without a second glance to Bruce and Damian. 

As soon as they were in a mass of people again, Y/N turned to Jason to ask him if he was OK. A part of her felt guilty, like she’d been caught doing something bad by being alone with Bruce Wayne. 

But Jason seemed to sense her concern and spoke before she could. “I’m stealing another bottle of champagne before we go,” and quickly went to the bar. 

“He lasted longer than I expected,” Dick’s voice came up beside her. 

Y/N barely glanced at him. “I’m proud of him,” was all she replied, as they both watched him. 

“I apologize for my behavior earlier. I’m afraid I didn’t give you the best first impression.”

Y/N fully turned to face him and laughed lightly. “I promise I won’t hold it against you.”

“I’m sure you think we’re all just being polite…but all of us really were looking forward to meeting you, Y/N.” 

“Even Damian?” She teased. 

Dick laughed. “Well, rumor is that Titus took an immediate liking to you. And Damian trusts his pets’ judgement of character more than any of ours.”

News really did travel fast in this family. 

Y/N smiled at that. “I’ve wanted to meet all of you for so long. I’m glad we finally made it happen.” She went back to their original topic. 

Dick winced. “I’d rather not think about what Jason’s said about us…”

“I think you might be pleasantly surprised,” she countered. 

“Ready to go?” Jason interrupted, ignoring Dick. 

For good measure, he dipped down to kiss Y/N’s bare shoulder. 

“Yeah, let’s go say bye to Alfred.” 

But she turned back to Dick. And to everyone’s surprise, she wrapped him into a hug. Dick was surprised, but welcomed the gesture. 

“Please keep an eye on him out there,” she whispered to him quietly enough so Jason didn’t have a chance of overhearing.

“Of course,” he told her. 

————————

Bruce pretended to be listening to a conversation with old family friends as he watched Y/N and Jason hug Alfred goodbye. 

He noticed Y/N say something to Alfred that made the butler’s face go serious. Then she handed him a business card. 

Bruce wanted to talk with Jason. He’d been both dreading and looking forward to tonight, hoping a miracle would occur and he could finally mend things with his son. 

But the way Jason had looked at him, Bruce knew everything he was feeling and it was clear Jason wasn’t going to let things go between them any time soon. 

Bruce politely excused himself and went to Alfred’s side. 

“What was that last bit about?” Bruce asked, indirectly telling Alfred that he’d been observing their conversation. 

Now the two men both watched Jason and Y/N from a window that gave a view of the front drive. 

Y/N threw her head back and laughed loudly at something Jason had whispered in her ear. 

“She asked if I could teach her first aid.”

They both know it went much deeper than first aid. Y/N was asking Alfred to show her how to stitch wounds, how to extract bullets, when to know Jason was too hurt to be fixed up by his inexperienced girlfriend. 

“She’s good for him,” Bruce thought aloud. 

“That she is, Master Bruce.” 

“I forgot what his laugh sounded like.” Bruce paused for a moment before adding, “I’ve never seen him smile like this. Not even before…” His words died. They both knew what ‘before’ was referring to. 

Suddenly Y/N pointed to Jason as she walked backwards, clearly giving him a warning of some sort. 

But Jason ignored her as he grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. One of his hands was wrapped tightly around her thighs, securing her body to his chest, while the other hand held a bottle of champagne. 

They could hear Y/N’s laughter, even from inside the mansion. 

Alfred observed how Bruce watched his second son. “You must give him more time, Master Bruce.” 

However, Bruce said nothing in return. 

--------------------

Part 2

Please, please, please let me know what you think. I will take constructive criticism on my characterization of Jason Todd, as long as it’s done nicely😅 

[Also, I finally stopped being lazy and made my own header. 😂]

[alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94]

Work You Out (M)

Authors: @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94 and @nomunamuinmybrain​ 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader 

Rating: M 

Disclaimer: Everything marked as M includes explicit content. Do not read if you are under 18 years of age.

Genre: Slice of Life/ Idol AU/ Smut 

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook's manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawine and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Notes: Hello!! That's another installment of the imaginary scenarios myself and my best friend @nomunamuinmybrain​ come up with while driving by the coast line. This oneshot is going to be cross-posted on her profile too. Enjoy!!

Word Count: 2.4K

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.

[dollslayer]

Pull

Sam Wilson x f!Reader

Summary: A brief interaction in the hallway with Sam leads to a mischievous moment between friends with benefits.

W/C: 1,693

Warnings: Smut, deepthroating, face fucking, hair pulling

A/N: In honor of Sam's birthday and @whisperlullaby 's 700 challenge (Congratulations!! I'm so soft for you Sam fics so I thought I'd roll with it!) I present you this!! This is my first Sam fic so I hope you guys like it! I know that descriptors of hair can make fics not always the most inclusive but I tried really hard to make this so that anyone could read it. If you feel like there's anything I can do better to make my fics more inclusive please please just message me and tell me! I want my fics to feel like they're made for everyone! p.s. - If you haven't already feel free to check out my other fics! If you liked this fic let me know! Cheers!

Main Masterlist

____

You’d always kept your hair short, it was just easier. When you were young you didn’t want to deal with the trouble of caring for it and now it would just get in the way when you’re out in the field. The last thing you need is hair in your eyes messing up your shot or it getting caught in the various straps on your uniform.

You’d missed two hair appointments before leaving on a month-long mission and came back to a mountain of paperwork. Before you knew it another month had passed and then you spent another two just catching up on the rest of your life. Getting another appointment crossed your mind but you kept pushing it off and you didn’t trust yourself enough to take clippers to your own hair. I’ll call tomorrow became a regular note to yourself, just not one that ever got addressed.

It wasn’t until you were getting ready to head to the gym that you looked at yourself in the mirror and realized how much your hair had grown even in just that short time. Sighing, you searched for something to hold it back with so it’d stay out of your face. After wrestling with it for a minute, you had enough to make a small ponytail. Okay, for real I’ll call tomorrow. You set off towards the gym.

Making your way down the hallway with your headphones on you hadn’t heard Sam calling your name. He jogged to catch up to you and pulled you back by the ponytail to get you to stop walking. You felt your stomach drop a little bit as a jolt of surprise went straight to your core. Your hair had always been too short to put up, let alone to grab.

The look of surprise must have made it to your face because Sam immediately let go. He took a step back and moved to apologize after he let out a nervous laugh.

“I-I uh, sorry I don’t know why I grabbed your hair. It looks good though!” Sam said reassuringly, “Have you been growing it out? Um, sorry, anyways, I just wanted to make sure you were still down for later.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Yeah, yeah I’m game for that. Just text me the details.” You replied slowly.

With a lop-sided grin and a nod Sam turned on his heel and walked the other way. As you pulled open the door to the gym you replayed the moment when he grabbed your ponytail in your head. Images of him holding your hair tightly in his hand while you went down on him flashed through your mind. What if he just pulled a little harder? Quit it, just get through the workout. You needed a cold shower.

___________

You did end up taking a cold shower after your workout, unable to stop thinking of the feeling of Sam’s hands in your hair. You two had been maintaining a friends with benefits relationship for a few months and tonight you were going to hang out.

You really enjoyed Sam in bed and as a friend, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to blur the lines. He was on the month long mission with you and you had gotten to know him so much better. You’d found that underneath his cocky and joking attitude was a good man that cared deeply for the people in his life. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want what you and Sam had to be more.

As you got ready for the night in you tried to decide what to do with your hair. Even though you hated it getting in your eyes you couldn’t deny it looked kinda cute when it was down. You set your hair free from the ponytail and let it fall around your face. You admired it in the mirror and set to work on your makeup.

__________

It had apparently been a rough day of training recruits for Sam, which meant it was likely going to be a rough night in store for you too. Not that you minded, Sam always pushed your boundaries but he also respected them so you never worried when he was a little bit more rowdy with you.

Much to your surprise and slight annoyance Sam was soft tonight. Normally this would make you swoon but if you were being real, you just wanted him to rail you and grab your hair again. Before you realized your feelings for him you were able to be a little more demanding in bed. Now that you were aware you were slowly falling for him you had become suddenly shy when it came to vocalizing your wants, almost afraid that you might let it slip that you wanted him in total.

As he kissed your collar bone you thought of ways to get him to do what you wanted without coming out and saying it. You suddenly pushed on his shoulders and flipped him so you were the one on top. You made your way down his body leaving trails of bites and kisses that had soft gasps escaping him. You took off his boxers slowly and maintained eye contact.

Finally his cock was free from its confines and it was hard as a rock. You smirked and took it in your hands, feeling the veins throb under your touch. You started pumping your hand up and down his length and let out a moan that gave you all the encouragement you needed.

You looked up at him and smirked. Showtime. You stuck your tongue out to taste the dab of precum that gathered at his tip while you dipped your tongue into his slit. He jolted upwards in momentary shock and gasped again. You could see he was trying to hold his hands at his sides, let you take your time. You could also see he was hanging by a thread already.

You took the tip of his cock into your mouth and let your tongue set his nerves ablaze. Slowly inching more of him into your mouth and using your hand on what you didn’t take. Until you didn’t. You took a breath and removed your hand, swallowing his length in one go. Sam let out the low groan that had you moaning in return. The vibrations of your voice caused him to involuntarily buck his hips upwards.

“Baby… oh my god, what on Earth are you doing to me?”

You just smiled to yourself and kept going. Sam gave into his instincts and brought one of his hands to your head, fingers tugging on what he could gather of your hair. He didn’t grab it like you’d hoped he would, just rooted himself in it and guided you gently. You looked up to find his other hand grasping desperately at the sheets with his spare hand. Okay, now do that to me You thought desperately.

You decided to double your efforts to see where it got you. You gagged as you tried to breathe through your nose while you bobbed up and down on his cock. His hips were bucking even more and you could tell he was getting close.

With no warning both his hands latched onto your hair to hold your head in place while he started to fuck your face. You were taken by surprise, even when Sam was at his roughest he’d never done this. You had to admit it was hot to see him lose control like this. You shuddered as he gripped your hair even tighter, reliving that feeling from earlier in the day. You clenched your thighs together and felt wetness stick to them as you kept your focus on breathing and getting him to cum.

Your plans were interrupted abruptly when his hands pulled you up by the hair off of his cock. You tensed in pleasure at the feeling, the tension pulling at your roots and the intense eye contact you made when he brought your head up to meet his eye. His chest was heaving, his cock pulsing and tensing from the near-orgasm.

“That was, Oh my god. I don’t even know what that was” He said as he exhaled. “Sorry I’m pullin’ on your hair again”

He untangled himself from your locks and pulled them just a little bit more in the process. You clenched your thighs again at the feeling and bit your lip to keep from moaning. Sam noticed this and his signature smirk graced his face.

“Unless… you like that?” He questioned knowingly “Does that turn you on? When I pull your hair?”

You felt heat come to your cheeks and you held back a coy smile as you looked away. You were almost too dazed and cock-drunk to feel humiliation but it still crept its way into your brain. Why am I embarrassed? He already knows. What the hell is this man doing to me?

Apparently you took too long to answer because one of his hands caught the hair at the back of your neck and forced you to look at him.

“Answer me, baby. Does it make you wet when I pull your hair?” His hand crept down your body and he swiped your folds. Bringing his hand up in front of his face so you both could see the way your slick dripped down his fingers. He smacked his lips and then sucked his fingers clean.

You could only whimper and nod when his grip tightened. His grin only grew wider watching you squirm.

“Is that why you took me so well just now? You wanted me to grab you? Wanted me to fuck your face?”

Good lord, the mouth on this man. He moved around you so that he was on top of you, lips almost brushing with yours.

“Bad girl, keeping things from me. Think you need to be punished?” he teased. His cock was still hard and you could feel it between your thighs rubbing between the mess you’d made.

“Yes, please”, You moaned a little at the feeling and nodded. This is going to be a long night.

[karlajoyner]

Tease (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so this was requested. I hope you guys enjoy it! And send in your own request!

Requested by: @universefangirl (Tumblr)

Warnings: Smut (18+)

————

I sighed typing away frustratedly at my computer attempting to get my work done for the night. Taking another sip of my wine I looked over to the couch to see my boyfriend scrolling through his phone.

"You know? It must be nice being a paid actor during a pandemic" I spoke catching his attention. A grin began to form on his face as he stood up making his way over to me in the kitchen.

"It has its perks. Can't say the same about you baby" He teased rubbing my shoulders. I rolled my eyes continuing to type away.

"You know you could take a break" He whispered getting near my ear.

"I can't. If I don't get this is by tonight I'm so fired"

"Fine. I'm just gonna go live for a bit. And relax afterwards. I'm pretty busy tomorrow"

"Yes Charles getting to sleep in and doing a live interview late afternoon sounds so exhausting. Meanwhile I have a term paper for English due and on top of that I have to do two more sets of these for work" I spoke holding up my papers.

"For your information I'm going on a hike tomorrow morning. Then I'm going live" He said another deep breath leaving my mouth.

"Aww baby. It's okay"

"Is it though?" I asked frustrated at his lack of sympathy. I love him and all but he seems to forget that his totally normal girlfriend works a 9 to 5 and still goes to college. And as much as I appreciate the times he said he could put in a good word for me with Kenny. I refused to be exposed in the spotlight more than I already was for being his girlfriend.

"I'm sure you can do it. You always do"

"Your right. I'm amazing. I don't know what you'd do without me" I joked trying to lighten up my own mood more than his.

"I don't either. I'd miss you too much" He said placing kisses just below my ear.

"Hmm really? Care to find out Gillespie?" I asked biting my lip. This was my opportunity to get him back where it hurt.

"What do you mean?" I smirked continuing to do my work. Without another word leaving my mouth.

“Baby. What do you mean?" He asked again standing up.

I stayed quiet as he repeated the question a few more times finishing up what I was doing. I had to get through all my stuff for school and work tonight if I wanted tomorrow to go as planned.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Glancing over at the clock I smiled. On schedule. I moved over to the empty spot beside me with a grin. Charlie was really in for it today.

I quickly got up making the bed when my phone suddenly dinged. I smiled seeing it was a good miring text from Charlie himself.

“Good morning my love. Just finished my hike. On my way home with coffee.

“I'll see you in a bit baby" I read aloud. I smiled at the cute detail before continuing on with my plan.

Changing into yoga pants and a sports bra I made my way to the living room setting up for a morning workout. Something I rarely got to do since my second term started and I became ambushed with work. It'd been nearly half an hour before I heard the front door open. The smell of coffee carrying itself through the small apartment.

"Baby your awake" He stated taking in my appearance. No doubt the sweat droplets on my body making me look shiny as hell.

"Yeah. I finished all my work last night so I figured I'd have a day to myself. I did a morning work out and I'm gonna do more things I haven't done in a while" I smiled innocently.

"Mmm am I one of those things by any chance?" He smirked pulling me close. Placing a kiss to my sweaty forehead.

"You wish. Actually I invited y/b/n over. We were thinking of painting to clear our minds"

"Oh but you can't paint looking like this. So sweaty. So wet" He whispered rubbing circles on my hips.

"Yeah I'll probably hop in the shower in a bit" I grinned before pulling away to go finish my workout.

“You know I need to shower too. What if we hop in together? To save water"

"Um I don't know. Can you keep your hands to yourself Gillespie?" I asked bending down in front of him to stretch.

"I can't answer that" He growled coming to stand behind me. As soon I felt his hands on my waist I stood up turning around to face him.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk" I whispered pulling back.

“What baby? Why won't you let me touch you?" He whined.

"Because it's my only free day and I'm going to enjoy it babe" I said placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips before walking away.

"Where are you going?" He called.

"To shower"

"Can I join?"

"If you can keep your hands away" I heard him groan as I shut the bathroom door behind me. Giggling to myself I entered the shower washing myself down.

Purposely forgetting to bring in an outfit. Knowing Charlie didn't enter for a reason I called out for him after I was clean.

"Charlie!" I shouted waiting for him to come in.

"Yes baby?"

"Can you bring me some clothes please?”I asked peeking my head out the curtain.

"Can I touch you?" He asked.

"Uh how about no"

"Then no" He said hoping that would get a reaction out of me. It didn't.

"Fine. If you insist" I spoke shutting the water off. Within a matter of seconds I exited the shower. Feeling his eyes piercing through me.

"Close your mouth. Your gonna catch flies" I said wrapping my towel around my body.

"Mm baby you don't know what your doing to me" He moaned out.

"I don't? Or do I?" I asked opening the door further so I could slip past him. Heading to the bedroom I smiled to myself knowing it was working.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rushing over I peeked through the hole to see y/b/n standing there. Thankful both of our COVID tests came out negative I smiled welcoming her inside.

"Hey y/n/n"

"Y/b/n!" I shouted happy to see her after so long.

"So how's he doing?" She asked knowing all about my plan.

"Not good. I love him I really do but paybacks a bitch. I can't wait til his interview" I smirked walking her to my room.

I was quick to change into a cute matching set with only one of his band shirts layering on top.

"Wow. He's gonna be drooling"

"That's the plan. Thanks for doing this again"

"Its no problem. What are best friends for? Just promise me you'll give me every detail tomorrow. You know after he breaks"

"I promise" I said as we both giggled exiting the room. We made our way towards the living room pulling out the supplies she had brought over for our eventful day.

Y/b/n and I enjoyed each other's company for a while. Catching up on our new quarantine rituals. It wasn't long before Charlie came out of the restroom completely shirtless with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I bit my lip coming back to reality when y/b/n bumped my shoulder.

"Y/b/n. You're here" Charlie said running his fingers through his hair. He knew what he was doing.

"Yeah. I came to spend time with my best friend. Did you see her today by the way?" Y/b/n said taking my hand and playfully spinning me around. I chuckled at her antics realizing she'd done it on purpose to give him a full view of what I was wearing. If something drove Charlie Gillespie crazy. It was me wearing his band tees.

"I didn't. Thank you for that" Charlie spoke sending daggers through me.

"I hope you don't mind. I barrowed your shirt to paint. I can change if you wa-"

"No! No no baby keep it on. It looks amazing on you" He said a small smile playing at his lips.

"Thanks baby. When's your interview?"

"In like 20 minutes. I'm gonna go get ready"

"Sounds good. We'll be on the balcony painting. That good?"

"Of course baby" I smiled walking out on the hard cemented area placing down our stuff.

We specifically chatted those 20 minutes waiting for Charlie to come out of the bedroom.

"I'm going live" Charlie called through the screen door.

"Okay good luck" I called back. I saw him send me a wink before setting up his phone where the sun was hitting him perfectly.

"This is perfect" I whispered to y/b/n as we pulled out our paints.

"I know. I can't believe he set himself up right there" She whispered back. I giggled pulling out the pastel pink from the bag.

"Charlie!" I heard the interviewer shout. My boyfriend clearly estatic.

"Hey man what's up?"

"What's up with me? What's up with you? Your our first cast member of the day. So for starters we wanna know what's up with you?"

"Nothing much man. I mean I've been writing a lot recently"

"Oh yeah can we be expecting any music coming out soon away from the Julie and the Phantoms band?"

"Uh no. That's kind of where I'm at right now which is amazing you know? Working with such great cast and bandmates it's great"

"Sounds like it. So where do you get inspiration from during this whole new situation we're in? It must get boring"

"Uh it does at times when I'm alone. Which is rare since I've been quarantining with my girlfriend. She's amazing company and overall my biggest inspiration"

"Girlfriend? Are you guys at her place or yours?"

"Hers man. I didn't wanna disturb her peace but she insisted and it's just been amazing. I love her" He said my heart fluttering at his words. I looked over at y/b/n to see her smirking at me.

"What about your cast? Do they know her?"

"Oh yeah. Like my family, they absolutely love her which is great. You know their approval means a lot to me so it's nice that everyone gets along with her just fine"

"That's good to hear so moving back to your music" The interviewer continued changing subjects. With his wholesome answers I almost felt bad denying him my touch today. And almost felt bad what I'd be doing next.

Almost.

After about 15 minutes I began to laugh at nothing signalling it was go time. I glanced back see Charlie staring up at us. Clearly trying to focus on the interviewer speaking. Clearly.

"Stop!" I whisper shouted at my best friend who splattered pain on me. I repeated her actions earning a giggle from the girl.

Suddenly I felt a cold sensation hit me. She had thrown our water cup at me in return I splattered more paint towards her. Trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"No yeah thanks man. I had fun" I heard Charlie say. Signifying the interview was nearly over.

"No thank you. Charlie Gillespie everyone. Up next Owen Patrick Joyner!" The man shouted before the living room went silent.

"Done?" I asked turning back to look indoors. The door screen being the only thing between us and the indoors.

"Yeah. What happened?"

"I don't know y/b/n what did happened?" I asked the girl in a teasing voice. Moving back slowly letting the sun hit my body. The white shirt on my body becoming see through.

"Cover up baby"

"Y/b/n doesn't mind right babe?" I asked her.

"Nope. We've been best friends forever Charles. I know her inside out. I also know you should probably get changed out of that"

"Or I could just do this" I replied removing the shirt from my body altogether. I watched as Charlie's jaw dropped in surprised.

"Cute set. Victoria secret?"

"Pink" I answered walking into the living room.

"Huh. I would've never guessed. Oh shoot it's already 5:00 o'clock? I should get going. I have to get to Dylan's house. Do you need help cleaning up?"

"No!" Charlie shouted before I could answer.

"No. We've got it y/b/n. No worries"

"Thanks guys" She smiled pulling me into a hug then Charlie. I watched as he walked her towards the door.

Not knowing which one was rushing more him or her.

"Thanks for coming!" I called out grabbing some paper towels to wipe off the water still on my body.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Charlie asked once the door shut.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You've been such a bad girl"

“Me?" I asked looking behind me jokingly knowing I was the only one here.

"Teasing me all damn day. Having y/b/n come over to be a cock block. And then pulling that little stunk during my interview"

"I don't know what your going on about Charles. I didn't know y/b/n name was gonna- Ahhh" I squealed feeling his strong arms wrap around me from behind lifting me up.

"Charlie!" I shouted as he carried me towards the bedroom.

"Yes?" He questioned when he put me down on the bed gently.

"Seriously?" I asked ask he removed his shirt.

"Seriously" He confirmed moving in to kiss me. It was gentle at first but that gentleness soon became hunger. From both ends we fought for dominance. Tired of fighting I gave in as he pushed me further up the bed.

"Charlie please" I pleaded beginning to palm him through his jeans. Feeling him get harder by the second.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Not yet" He whispered making me whine. He chuckled before speaking once more in a hushed tone.

"Now are you gonna tell daddy exactly why you teased him all day?" I groaned knowing there was no way of getting out of this one.

"Nope" I said hoping to move on.

"Mm I don't like the sound of that" He said removing his jeans. I moaned seeing his full body. He was too hot for his own good.

"Now are you gonna tell me or should I return the punishment" I internally groaned not in the mood to be teased.

"I-I just feel like you forget sometimes that I have so much on my plate. And maybe sometimes you could be insensitive about it" I muttered the last part hoping he wouldn't hear. But judging by his features softening he had heard every word.

"I make you feel that way?" he asked caressing my cheek.

"Not all the time but yeah sometimes"

"Baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" He mumbled placing soft kisses on my lips.

"I guess I just forget sometimes that you have so much to do. I just wanna spend all my time with you since that's all I have. I also guess offering to pay for things like your college doesn't help either when your girlfriends independent"

"And capable of doing everything on her own. Including paying for her school and home necessities. I mean it's a nice gesture baby but I'd just appreciate it if maybe you could take a step back and realize I'm only human. And not everyone wants to become an actor. I'm studying really hard to get to where I wanna be. And even if I'm working a boring desk job right now I won't be in the future"

"I know baby and I'm so proud of you for that you know that right?"

"Of course Charlie. And I know your my number one supporter just like I'm your number one fan" I said as he placed small kisses on my nose.

"Good....So you did all this today to get back at me?"

"Well yeah I wanted to have fun. But it's no fun when I too need to resist the urge to jump on you when you come out of the shower shirtless"

"Yeah about that I didn't know y/b/n was here or I wouldn't have walked out like that"

"I know baby. But now that we're alone so can we please just-" My words were cut off by his lips once more.

Giggling at his eagerness I began to palm him through his boxers once more.

"You don't know the things you do to me baby" He whispered pulling my bra down letting my breast fall free. I moaned as he began to suck on the left one and toying with the right one.

"God I missed these"

"Charlie please hurry up" I spoke. He didn't hesitate to remove my panties and his boxers immediately lining himself up at my entrance.

"You've been taking your birth control right?"

"Of course you idiot"

"Ooo aggressive much"

"Charlie if you don-" My words were cut off by a moan as he entered me. Not hesitating to start moving at a steady pace.

"Charlie" I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Faster"

"I'm so close baby"

"Me too" I panted as he sped up. His thrust becoming sloppier by the second.

"I'm gonna-" He groaned being the first to release. My climax coming not long after. I sighed as we rode our our highs together.

"I love you baby" Charlie said standing up and cleaning me off with a t-shirt of his.

"I love you too" I said as he finally came to lay next to me. Pulling the covers over us.

"You do know I really am proud of you right?"

"I don't know I think you need to prove it to me" I halfheartedly joked.

"If you insists" He whispered pulling me in for a sweet tender kiss.

Time slowing down as we spent the night tangled in each other's arms. Enjoying each other's company. Each other's love.

[formidxble]

Happy 900, lovey! Onwards to 1000 ❤️ i had a request for you--- Jisung, as angsty as possible, prompt #5 ( “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.” )

Thank you so much and congratulations yet again!!!🤩🤭

elliana !! thank you for the kind words and the request! 🧡 i hope i did it justice and that you enjoy reading it! <333

𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 - H.J.

part of the drabble event !

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: absolute angst || best friend au

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 1.3k 

the sound of keys rattling echoes in the empty apartment hallway, alongside the soft groans of your best friend, who’s clinging onto your side. the stench of alcohol reeks off of his clothes and you wonder what pushed jisung to this brink—getting drunk off of his face every single night of the week. it’s become a problem, his other friends have stated, but none have made any steps to stop him from going down that hole any further.

the thought forms a knot in your chest.

it makes you realize how much you’ve been absent in your friendship with him. no more calls, no more text messages, just the occasional small talk the both of you force yourselves to do for the sake of keeping the relationship.

you just never really noticed how bad it has gotten, how bad jisung has gotten.

it’s the soft mumble of your name that gets you out of your thoughts and you finally get the apartment door open. you pull jisung inside the room with a grunt. you make a few steps in before he’s pulling away from your arms to plop himself on his couch. he sighs when his head makes contact with the cushion.

“you need to get your shit together,” you state, gently closing the front door behind you. on the couch, you hear jisung chuckle dryly. he responds with a slew of words, all jumbled and muffled.

“i didn’t get any of that.”

he raises his head from the cushion, “i have my shit together.”

your eyes meet and it’s then that you see the true state of your best friend tonight—eyes as red as the entirety of his face with disheveled hair and dried vomit on the side of his mouth. your shoulders drop and the knot in your chest tightens even further. a lump forms in your throat, but you swallow it away. you weren’t here to baby him anymore. this is a problem that needed to be addressed and crying in front of him won’t help. he tries to give you a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“you’re drunk every night, jisung,” you sigh. “what do you mea—“

“it doesn’t hurt to live a little, y/n,” jisung interjects. “you should try it sometimes.”

a thick silence surrounds the room and it’s enough to suffocate the two of you. he coughs awkwardly and you shift in your position as you straighten your back. maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but isn’t it that alcohol brings out the parts of yourself that you’ve hidden? you clear your throat softly, your heart ringing in your ear as you cross your arms in front of your chest and you wonder when and where it went downhill between the two of you. just yesterday, the both of you were talking about meeting up again.

this wasn’t what you had in mind.

“i’m just concerned,” you mumble after the silence. jisung chuckles dryly again. “jisung,” you step forward, “i’m your best friend.”

“and that’s all you’ll ever be, right?”

the sentence stops you in your tracks, your eyes widening. “jis—“

“why do you think i’m doing this?” jisung questions. he opens his eyes, locking them with yours for the second time tonight. “i know you aren’t that stupid. i know you’ll figure it out.”

when it finally hits you, it starts on your chest, then it travels to the entirety of your body, wrapping itself around you enough to make you feel lightheaded. you absentmindedly take a step back, using the darkness of the apartment to shield you. meanwhile, jisung’s eyes don’t leave you and for the first time in your whole relationship, the gaze burns.

the friendship went to shit weeks ago. jisung became cold just hours after you introduced your new partner to him. days after, the drinking started and the conversations stopped. the phone calls became non-existent. suddenly, the both of you don’t have time for each other anymore. he faded away from your life as quickly as he entered it years ago and you were stupid enough to ignore it and brush it off as him being busy.

“jisung, you don’t have to—“

“i need to,” he sighs exasperatedly, standing up from the couch, though a little wobbly.

“it’s just going to hurt you, jisung. it’s not the rig—“

“do you think i don’t know that?” jisung scoffs. “do you think i’m happy doing this shit?”

you stay silent.

“because i’m not. i’m not happy. i haven’t been happy,” jisung huffs, voice breaking towards the end. “i fill the void you left with bottles of alcohol, with girls who have names i can barely remember, in apartments i’ll never go back to.”

the lump that has formed earlier has found its way back to your throat and you clench your fist as you take another step back, a sob threatening to leave your lips.

“i get so black out drunk that i don’t remember anything and…and i think that’s the fucking point, right?” jisung laughs bitterly, looking up at the ceiling as he puts his hands behind his head.

when your eyes meet again, jisung exclaims, “but why is it that when i drink to forget, i always remember you?” you hear your own heart crack and you wonder if jisung hears it too.

“your face, your lips, your eyes, your voice, your scent. fuck,” he sobs. “do you know how fucking hard it is to convince myself that i’m okay, that what i’m doing will help me forget about everything, but y/n,” he pauses as tears start falling down his eyes. “i can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

the silence that comes after is heavier and louder than the one that came before it. you don’t notice immediately, but your cheeks are now wet with the tears you’ve desperately tried to stop earlier. you unintentionally take a step toward his direction and it’s what breaks the silence, unfortunately.

“don’t,” jisung pleads softly. “just…”

“jisung, i’m not…” you sigh. “why’d you only tell me now? now that i have someo—“

“because you never listened to me!” he cries out. “you never took me seriously and it’s always the ‘jisung, you’re so funny’ shit! you never saw me as a man, someone you could love—“jisung runs a hand down his face”—instead, i’m just a best friend in the sidelines. just someone you can run to when you’re upset because that’s all i’ll ever be.”

“but you could say that i played the part well, right?” he continues. “because you never tried it with me. never. you shot me down every time.”

as you roughly wipe your tears away, you mutter shakily, “how could you say that?”

he doesn’t respond as he turns his back to you, crying softly to himself. the sound breaks you down even further and your hands ache to reach out for jisung, to take him into your arms and tell him that everything will be okay. but you knew, deep down, things won’t be okay. not after tonight, not after the words that have been exchanged. instead, you return to your previous position, hiding yourself in the darkness as you allow yourself to untie the knot that has formed in your chest earlier. you bite down on your lip to stop a sob from leaving it.

“you should leave,” jisung mumbles after some silence. you look up, hoping to catch his eyes again, but you’re only met with the sight of his back. the sentence rings in your mind and you badly wanted to say no, but maybe it’s in the best of both of your interests if you did.

so, without saying goodbye, you start to leave, retreating from the shadows of his apartment to grab the door handle of his front door and pushing it down. however, when the front door opens and the light from the hallway seeps through, you turn to look back at your best friend, only to find that there’s no one there anymore.

somewhere in the apartment, you hear a door close.

[taetaespeaches]

“You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.”

yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: angst word count: 2.2K

a/n: Here it is, lovelies. I feel like this is way too hyped but I hope you all get HEARTBROKEN... kidding, loves. This is the “illicit affairs” inspired fic off of Taylor Swift’s folklore. This takes place after “I thought you left” after Yoongi returns from Japan. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading! :))

MINDLESSLY cleaning up your apartment, you almost didn’t register the ding of your phone, notifying you of a text. It wasn’t until the second ding, that you realized.

Reaching for the device, you could have swore your heart stopped upon reading his name on the screen.

Honey boy: We’re back. Can I see you?

You wanted to say no. You wanted to tell him to leave you alone. You wanted to stand up for yourself and tell him that he’s not allowed to treat you the way he did the past five days. You wanted to leave him in silence like he did you.

But you couldn’t.

You: You can come over tonight. Honey boy: 9 pm? You: That’s fine.

You were beginning to pity yourself even, holding onto this thing that never was. How pathetic.

As the next couple of hours passed before he was supposed to stop by, you nearly sent multiple texts telling him to stay away. Thirty minutes to nine, you started preparing yourself for the conversation you convinced yourself needed to happen. You would tell him if this is ever going to be something, he’s not allowed to promise communication while he’s away and then not follow through. You needed commitment.

Your anxiety was through the roof, your heart racing as 9 pm approached, and then, at 8:48 pm, there was a knock on your door. He was early?

Opening the door, you revealed a sorry looking Yoongi, dark circles under his eyes and his skin pale. His lips curved into a small smile as he greeted you, “Hey, Kid.”

That was all it took for you to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug, his arms easily wrapping around your waist. And it wasn’t that the anger disappeared, but rather just didn’t matter in that moment.

You pulled him inside your apartment, Yoongi kicking the door closed before you kissed him with need. Yoongi slowed your actions by pulling away for a moment, holding your face in his hands as his eyes scanned your features.

“I missed you, you jerk,” you pouted, Yoongi giving you a sorrowful look.

“I’m sorry, Kid,” he whispered, casting his gaze to your feet. He didn’t look like himself. He looked like he was lost within himself. Compassion is a strong emotion. Strong enough to grant forgiveness sometimes, even if only temporary.

Gently, you took his hand and led him to your bedroom, letting go of his hand when you entered the room, walking to your dresser to grab a condom out of the box before making your way to your bed alone. You sat on the mattress and looked to Yoongi as he stood still in your doorframe.

“Come here,” you told him. He stared at you for a moment longer. He opened his mouth to speak, what you took as a protest, choosing to cut him off before he could begin. “Please.”

Yoongi took a deep breath before slowly starting toward you, you pulling your shirt over your head as he made his way across the room. He stood in front of you, allowing you to pull his pants off his body before he crawled on top of you, kissing you with passion. He stayed on top the whole time, holding your hand as he placed gentle kisses to your face.

It felt like an apology. And it was one you were willing to take. That is until it ended.

He rested beside you for a few minutes, running his fingertips over your arm and the side of your body, feeling the dips in your curves. It was nice. Comfortable. And you felt a sense of relief inside your stomach, easing the anxiety of the past few days. But then, he moved to get up.

“Where are you going?” Your tone laced in panic.

He didn’t look back at you as he pulled his bottoms onto his legs, his back facing you. You noted the expanse of it again, appreciating his smooth skin and toned muscles in contrast to the outline of his spine. And then the realization hit you that you were always seeing his back. You were always watching him leave, and you never knew when he’d return.

“I have to get back to the dorm, I told the guys I’d be home in a bit,” he told you. And something snapped inside you.

“They still don’t know about us?” You asked pointedly, Yoongi stalling his movements for moment before he stood to pull his underwear and jeans over his ass. Turning around, he looked at you as he zipped and buttoned his pants.

“I haven’t told them, no,” he started, glancing around the room for a moment to find his shirt. Spotting it, he looked back to you. “Hobi knows of you.”

“Is that why you didn’t contact me while you were in Japan? The boys being around?” You asked. There was the anger again.

“Between that and the busy schedule, yeah,” he confirmed, looking slightly guilty but mostly on the defense.  

You hummed, nodding. Yoongi walked the few feet to his shirt, scooping it up and looking at you as he held it in his grasp. “Hobi knows?” You asked.

“He knows I’ve been seeing you a bit,” he told you just before pulling the shirt over his head. With him fully dressed and you still naked in bed, you suddenly became aware of how vulnerable you felt. You pulled the comforter up around you, curling your legs against your chest.

“I told my coworker about you a couple days ago,” you told him, Yoongi looking at you curiously.

“Yeah?” The words were spoken out of genuine curiosity, as if he wanted to hear what you would have told your coworker about him.

“Yeah. She asked what we are, and I didn’t know how to answer,” you told him. You were preparing to fight, and you didn’t care anymore if it would ruin everything you’ve been clinging so tightly to.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Well you’ve never given any indication of us being in a relationship, so I couldn’t call you my boyfriend, but it felt crude to call you a fuck buddy,” you told him, holding some venom in the final two words.

“You thought about calling me a fuck buddy?” He asked, anger now seeping into his usually gentle features.

“The thought crossed my mind.” Your tone was cold, and you knew it was. It was supposed to be.

“What the fuck?” He questioned angrily. “That’s what you think this is?” Any intention of leaving was now gone as he planted his feet, staring daggers at you from a few feet from the bed.

“I don’t know what this is, that’s the problem,” you informed him, standing up to find something to wear. You kept the blanket draped over you, your back to him as you spotted your clothes. “Sometimes I feel like you’re the one, and I didn’t even think that was a thing before I met you,” you admitted, pulling your underwear on. “But other times, I feel like I’m being used,” you said as you pulled your shirt over your head, “or that I’m just here for when you need-”

“Used?” He questioned, the word drenched in hurt.

“Ever since we started having sex, you started pulling away,” you told him, turning to look at him.

“That’s not true,” he shook his head, a mixture of disappointment and anger on his face.

“It is true,” you insisted. “Look at you right now,” you gestured to him, pointing out his fully dressed form as he prepared to leave after coming over for an hour to have sex. “What am I supposed to think?”

He looked down at himself before looking up at you again, desperately searching for words. “I didn’t come over here for sex, I came over because I missed you,” he told you, his face scrunched up. “You initiated this,” he gestured to the bed.

“Right, well excuse me for trying to feel close to you,” you pointedly retorted.

“You think we have to be having sex to feel close to me?” He asked. You could tell he was feeling a whirlwind of emotions but so were you.

You shrugged, staring at him. “You left me in complete silence.” You spoke the words in a quieter voice than you’d been using, and you watched as they penetrated his fragile shield of thick skin.

“I told you when we started this whole thing that it would be complicated,” he reminded you, you shaking your head. “I told you so many times, I warned you that I wouldn’t be able to give you a normal relationship.”

“I’m not looking for a normal relationship, Yoongi, I’m just looking for some consistency and some sort of” you searched for the word, “label, so I don’t feel like I’m making all this shit up,” you told him, tears forming in your eyes.

“Making what up?” He questioned, his voice quiet as he stared at you intently.

“How I feel about you, and how I thought you felt about me,” you admitted, a tear falling down your cheek before wiping it away quickly. You could have sworn Yoongi took a step toward you before deciding against it. “I feel fucking insane when I get so much affection and care from you one morning and then you’re gone for five days without a word. And then when you come back, I’m just supposed to act like your silence didn’t hurt?”

He stared at you for a moment, waiting for you to continue, and his continued silence made the whole fight hurt so much more.

“Just tell me what we are so I can at least put my guard up, because you have the power to completely break my heart,” you said as more tears fell, you groaning in frustration at the evidence of your pain, wiping them away aggressively.

“I warned you of all of this. You said you were capable of making your own decisions. You kept me around. You asked for this,” he said, regret immediately taking over his features.

“I asked for this?” You questioned angrily.

“That’s not what I meant,” he interjected.

“I didn’t ask to be treated like a convenient play-thing for when you need to get off, or like a fucking ego boost for when you’re feeling insecure or lonely,” you spat, knowing fully well that the words would hurt him.

“That’s not what this is though,” he told you sadly, the anger leaving him.  

“I guess I was wrong when I said I could handle the terms of this relation-whatever the fuck this is,” you corrected. “Because this is not working for me,” you told him, Yoongi’s eyes widening in what appeared to be panic. “I feel pathetic and taken advantage of, Yoongi, do you not see that?”

“I’m not taking advantage of you, Kid, jesus christ,” he defended, his tone defeated.

“Don’t call me that,” you sobbed. “Don’t call me that right now.” You visibly saw Yoongi take a sharp breath of air in. “Do you see me?” You asked, both of you staring at each other for a moment. “I’m a mess for you. And you know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you. And you’re just letting me do it,” you cried, wrapping your arms around your body.

Yoongi stared at you speechless, his eyes raking over every inch of you as he realized what you were saying. He was breaking you down, intentional or not.  

“I’m sorry,” he told you sincerely, backing away from you. “I-fuck I’m sorry.” Without another word, he turned around and made his way through your apartment, you following after him angrily.

“So that’s it? You’re walking away?” You asked through your tears, watching him as he grabbed your door knob.

“What do you want me to do?” He turned around to look at you, tears in his eyes. “I’m ruining you right?” You stared at each other, hopeless and directionless, both of you running through your history, trying to figure out where things could have been changed to avoid this exact moment from ever happening. “I just- I can’t give you more than this, baby.” You flinched at the term of affection, and he sighed. “As much as I want to give you more, I fucking can’t,” he told you, his voice shaking with emotion as the words left his lips.

The man in front of you was lost and confused, regret and heartbreak evident in his expression, his eyes tired and dark, his skin lack luster compared to its usual glow. You had all but told him to leave, but halfway out the door you felt betrayed that he was actually leaving.

It was a flaw of yours to use anger in times of hurt; to throw mean remarks instead of what you really wanted to say. And you put that on display with your next words.

“Make sure no one sees you leave. And heaven forbid your members see you come back flushed, better tell them you were out for a run,” you told him viciously. “We can act like we never happened,” you added quietly. Yoongi nodded slowly before exiting your apartment, closing the door quietly behind him, his clothed back being the last you saw of him.

[kaitycole]

Love Two: the hard love

Summary: Miya Atsumu is an adventure and a half which is exciting for you after a mundane high school relationship. But what price has to be paid in order for you to be in his world?

Parings: Atsumu x Reader

Word Count: 7187 (my apologies)

Warnings: Angst. Toxic relationship tropes. Toxic behaviors. Slight physical violence (towards the end - it’s a wrist grab and a slap). Adult language.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

Golden yellow hair.

Chocolate brown eyes.

Burnt cinnamon cologne.

These images burn into your mind as tears sting your dry eyes. You swallow hard, trying to get the lump in your throat to dislodge but it only reminds you of how dry your throat is, how sore it is from screaming. Your head lays heavy on your pillow, a dull ache wraps around your head and you aren’t sure if it’s from the alcohol or the crying you’ve done over the last three days.

You two had a fight, another fight, the same old fight. You screamed, he brushed it off, leaving in a rush and slamming the door while you slid down the doorframe, sobbing. You thought that you’d be used to this, the constant up and downs that came with loving Miya Atsumu, the rollercoaster of emotions that came with the cycle of being together, breaking up and then getting back together. You’d been doing it for three years now, on and off again, but never being off for long before he dragged you back into his arms, not that you ever refused.

Your head hangs to the side as you slowly push yourself off the floor, your body too tired after fighting to climb into your bed the night before. For a moment you consider crawling down the hall before your pride takes over as you stand up, legs stiff but wobbly at the same time as your feet drag you to the couch in the living room. You aren’t sure what time it is, your eyes slowly adjusting to the large amount of sunlight coming into the apartment, the apartment he surprised you with and you had loved, now it felt like a prison.

Your phone starts buzzing and when you look, there’s several notifications from your two best friends Kaneko Yua and Higashi Naoki. You shuffle to the kitchen, grabbing a cup as you perch your phone between your shoulder and cheek, filling you cup with tap water.

“Y/N! Where are you?” Yua’s voice is too loud for the linger ache in your head, you jerk the phone from your ear to turn the volume down.

You chug down the ice-cold water that does nothing to remove the dryness from your mouth or throat, it’s as if it’s been coated in a thick layer of cotton. “Apartment.”

She’s silent for a minute, you can hear her mumbling to someone next to her. There’s a muffled sound coming from her end before a new voice comes through the line, fresh tears prick your eyes when you recognize it’s Naoki.

“We’re coming over, don’t leave.”

*                      * Three years ago

Your high school days had been filled with volleyball matches, practices, tournaments and while you have no ill feelings towards the sport or the boy who brought it into your life, you just hoped university would broaden your horizons.

Yet here you stood at a MSBY Fan Greet, your younger brother all but vibrating with excitement as he waited to get his overprice photograph signed by his favorite team. You previously made plans to hang-out with Yua over the spring break, but since your parents both couldn’t take him, your brother guilted you with the  “but I miss hanging out with you” card and puppy dog eyes.

“For you.” His accent coats his words, passing you small folded piece of paper before your brother makes his way down the line to the next player for an autograph, tugging at your pants for you to follow his lead.

** “Wanna get something from the vending machine before the next class?” Yua asks. Kaneko Yua became your friend when you both started university last year, the two of you quickly became the best of friends even though the only interests you share is in your shared Art History major.

“I’m done for the day.” You tilt your head, smiling right before you stick your tongue out at her.

She throws her head back, groaning as you continue to walk, “how’d you get such a good schedule.”

“Told you to take those early morning classes.” You wink before running into her as she suddenly stops. “Yua-ch—”

Golden yellow hair and a cocky smile catch your attention as he leans against a flash sports car in the library parking lot. Yua looks at you, her eyes wide, you had mentioned that you got his number a few weeks ago to her, but that nothing but short conversation came from the exchange which only lasted a few days.

“Y/N!” He calls out to you, obnoxiously waving one arm up in the air to catch your attention, it does, along with the rest of the student body that’s outside.

He starts walking over to you and Yua, pulling off his sunglasses you see that dark chocolate eyes that captured your (e/c) ones just weeks ago. Your heart is thumping against your chest as he quickly closes that gap that has been between you, a short arm’s distance away from him. You can smell his cologne, it’s a strong smell, something similar to burnt cinnamon being carried by the wind the circles around you.

Yua looks at you for answers but you couldn’t give her any if you even tried. You find yourself swallowed whole by his dark eyes, feeling like you’re about to sink. “M-Miya-san?”

“Atsumu.” He smirks, “sorry for just showing up. I was in the neighborhood and thought we could go get something to eat. You aren’t busy, are you?”

“No, she’s not.” Yua nudges your arm, bringing you back to reality, “she’s actually all finished for the day.”

“What do you say? Will you come with me?” He reaches out his hand and you almost immediately take it and maybe you should’ve been more cautious, after all this wasn’t like it was in high school.

** The first few months with Atsumu are blissful, perfect and you start to wonder if this is what you were missing back with Ushijima. Every day with Atsumu is an adventure, you never know what to expect which is a sharp contrast to that same day everyday feeling you had back in high school. He keeps you on your toes and you love it, you eat it up, spending all your free time with him and it shows when you get back a test with a failing mark.

“Budding romances aren’t the most important thing in life, Y/N.” Your professor speaks low when he places the paper on the desk, he doesn’t have to tell you how he feels about it, disappointment drips from his words.

Atsumu didn’t offer much help on the subject either, simply shrugging at it and telling you that there’s always the next test. “Let’s go out.” “I really should study, ‘Tsumu.” You tilt your head back to look up at him, he’s sitting on the couch behind you.

He says your name, dragging out each syllable, “it’s the last night I can. I have an away game that I leave for on Friday.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” “Must have forgot.” He looks down at his phone, “coming or not?”

You know that you shouldn’t have gone, that studying is more important, but him leaving meant that you’d be apart for the first time and he had that lopsided pout on his face, so you agree. Grabbing your jacket and following him out the door as he drapes an arm around you, “I can always count on you.”

*                      * Two years and four months ago

“I’m gonna kill him!” Yua shouts as she walks into your dorm room. She practically ran from her part-time job in the library to your dorm when you called her, unable to talk from crying so loudly. While she took the elevator up to your room, she managed to see the text explaining the cause of your distress and is fuming.

“You’ll…go…to jail.” You finally manage to spit out, the sobs and hiccups breaking up your words as you wipe your running nose on your sweatshirt sleeve. Usually Yua would scold you, telling you just how disgusting that it, but tonight she just sits next to you, letting you lean on her shoulder.

She gently rubs your arm as she wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to her side, “maybe I’ll key that fancy car of his.”

“I think it’s his brother’s.”

“Deflate his balls!”

“Yua!”

“Volleyballs, get your head out of the gutter.” She smiles when you let out a small laugh. She leans her head down on yours and you are thankful that you’re close enough for the silence to be comfortable, for certain things to be left unsaid.

*                      * Two years and two months ago

The next few weeks seem to drag by, each day seemingly longer than the last. Yua has all but moved into your dorm, refusing to leave your side for more than the duration of classes. With her there, you realize even more that your phone hasn’t gone off, there’s no surge of messages coming through from a certain setter. Things take a bit of a turn when you hear a nearby conversation, two girls gushing about some famous model getting into a relationship to a volleyball player.

But it’s that said volleyball player’s name that anchors your feet to the ground, that name that echoes in your ears while your lungs struggle to take in the air you want to force into them.

Miya Atsumu

Yua essentially banned the use of his name or anything related to him into your life and for better or worse you’ve both manage to uphold it, especially seeing how with his newest brand deal, his face is everywhere just like Michael Jordan’s was in the U.S. during the 90’s. Somehow, you manage to avoid it, until now when your body seems to act on its own and you’re sudden reading several headlines confirming the match.

*                      * Two years ago

“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?” Yua looks at you, worry etched on her expression, “I don’t have to go to this guest speaking event.”

“Yua, you’ve been talking about this for weeks, you’re going.”

“Promise to call if you need me to come back? I’m only going to Tokyo, so I can get back within three hours.”

“Yes, yes, I promise.” You make a “shoo” gesture with your hand, walking towards her as she picks up her back to leave. You pull her into a quick hug, reassuring her that everything will be fine for one weekend.

** You let out a dramatic sigh, towel drying your hair as you walk out of the bathroom and towards your bed.

8PM on a Friday and I’m getting ready for bed, lame.

You’re slipping on a pair of fuzzy socks when the music you’ve been playing gets interrupted by a phone call. Within much thought, assuming it’s Yua, you answer, only to stop in your tracks when a familiar and husky voice calls your name.

“Y/N!” Each syllable of your name is drawn out with a slight lag, a telltale sign that he’s intoxicated.

If Yua was there, she would tell you to just hang up and block the number, that you had been doing better lately and should just let someone else deal with it, but Yua isn’t there and you feel that it must mean something if you had been the one he called.  Drunken words are sober thoughts, right?

His drunken voice and repeated plea of your name is enough to melt you, enough to make you throw all rational thought out the window, quickly throwing on a hoodie, rushing to the address he barely slurred out.

Fortunately, the restaurant he is at isn’t too far from your dorm, however it is embarrassing when you walk in and could hear him across the room, shouting for you.

“Atsumu.”

He quickly turns to you, that sloppy grin of his piercing you in the heart as he stumbles over to throw his arms around you. The scent of alcohol hits you before he does, leaving you to wonder just how much he’s had as you stagger backwards a bit before steadying the both of you. You just barely get the both of you to a cab, his constant swaying challenging you until you’re able to shove him in the vehicle, hesitating when asked where they were taking you. You didn’t know where he was staying these days, you still weren’t sure what he was doing in Kyoko, so you settle for the only address you know to go.

** “Are you serious?” Yua shouts, all but pulling out her hair.

Three weeks. That’s how long Atsumu had been back in your life and how long your best friend had been in the dark about it. You wanted to tell her about the night Atsumu called drunk, but felt it was best to do it in person since it was such a touchy subject, but when she got back, she was still so excited about the speaker and to tell you about it, you lost your nerve.

Then as the days continued to go by, you kept coming up with a reason not to tell her. What you weren’t expecting was her for to just show up out of the blue or for a fresh out of the shower Atsumu to answer the door. You felt confrontation coming and that was something you weren’t a huge fan of.

“I know it looks bad, but I can explain.”

Yua shakes her head, her lips in a straight line, foot tapping on the tile flooring. “This is why you’ve been cutting classes and missing assignments.”

“I don’t see how this is your business at all.” Atsumu glances over at Yua, an amused smirk on his lips, “jealousy doesn’t suit you, sweetheart.”

Yua turns abruptly on her heel, storming out of the dorm room and when you grab her arm, there’s tears in her eyes when she turns to face you.

“He’s changed, Yua.” There’s such a hopeful look on your face, an expression that screams that you actually believe him.

She drags her arm across her eyes, wiping away the tears, “why can’t you see he’s not good for you!”

*                      * 1 year and 10 months ago

The shuffling of your peers is lost on you, motionlessly staying in your seat as all of those around you practically bolt out after the 55 minutes long public speaking class. Your eyes are trained on the board in front of you but the notebook on your desk is unopened, your pen still capped.

It takes a few moments for you to notice the weight of the hand on your shoulder and the back and forth motion it's pushing you in. Shaking your head, you snap out of whatever daze you’ve been in and look over to see Naoki with a concerned expression on his face.

“Do you need to see the nurse?”

You shake your head, “oh, no. I was just thinking.”

He raises an eyebrow at the quick smile you throw his way before he sighs, giving into your excuse, even after only knowing each other a few months, Naoki knew when to just let things go.

“Good morn—You aren’t Yua.” You stopped your greeting when you noticed the shuffling at the chair next to you wasn’t Yua but someone you’d never seen before.

“Oh no, sorry. I’m Higashi Naoki, I just transferred here.” He gave you a big bright smile, extending his hand out.

“Uh, oh, hello.” You felt embarrassment creep up the back of your neck as you awkwardly shook his hand. Luckily your phone vibrated, allowing you to focus your attention to something else other than the rather attractive brunette sitting next to you.

You read the words on the screen, somewhat understood the meaning of them but your mind kept going back to the warm orange brown eyes that looked at you with such kindness. They reminded you of the way you felt back in high school, the way that Ushijima made sure you always felt: safe.

To your surprise, Yua had already met Naoki, they shared the glass before this one and Yua was actually excited that you two had ended up meeting. After that, the three of you were fast friends, almost as if you had all been friends for years rather than just several weeks. But not everyone was excited for your new friendship and he had no problem being very vocal about it.

Atsumu wasn’t keen on the friendship when he randomly showed up to the campus one day, seeing the two of you sitting outside, laughing. You had to run after him, he took off without letting you even introduce Naoki, trying to tell him that he was just a friend, but Atsumu seemed to already have his mind made up on what was what.

A week later, after not hearing from Atsumu you got a message from him telling you that he needed to dedicate himself more to his team, his career and being in a relationship with you just wasn’t it.

“You can copy my notes during lunch, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Nao-chan!” You smile up at him while shoving your things into your backpack. He clears his throat, blush spreading across his cheeks as he turns away from you.

** Professor A: Missing Assignments

Professor B: Make-up Test Notice

Professor C: Mandatory Advisor Meeting

XMail: Unread Messages (12)

You feel a pit in your stomach, not wanting to read the emails, already knowing the disappointed messages they held. You hadn’t been your best self lately especially when it came to your studies and had several unfinished assignments and 0’s in the gradebook. It wasn’t like this was the first time you and Atsumu had been broken up but for some reason, each time felt worse than the previous time.

Leaning back, you let out a deep sigh as you glance around at the boxes that liter the room. After you and Atsumu broke up the most recent time, Yua managed to convince you to move into her off-campus apartment. At first you didn’t like the idea, not wanting to be a burden to her or cause anyone to think anything of her with you living with her, but she wouldn’t heard anything but yes. She told you that she had the space (her parents insisted on getting her a two bedroom even though it was just her) and it was easier for her to keep an eye on you.

There are still some things that are in boxes, mostly things from Atsumu that you didn’t want to toss out, but didn’t think should be on display either. Plus, with all the catching up you had to do, there wasn’t much time for anything else especially with the schedule that Yua had made for you. The two of you shared most classes, so she had all the notes and study guides you needed and to be honest, it helped keep your mind off a certain MSBY setter.

BZZT!

Nao-chan: I’m heading up, let me in! (1:42PM)

A smile spreads across your face, pushing yourself from the desk and quickly slipping out of your room and towards the door. By the time you open it, you see him walking up the hallway and he flashes you his signature smile when his eyes meet yours.

“Nao-chan!” You crash into him, wrapping him into a hug, one that he returns effortlessly.

“What have I done to get such a warm welcome?”

“I can’t just miss you?” You tilt your head when you look up at him, stepping away from him to look him in the eye. You hold back a laugh when you see his face turn red, turning his face away from you before mumbling something along the lines of “yeah, no, that’s fine.”

You bring back two cups of juice (Yua refused to let soda into the apartment) and notice that Naoki seems to be nervous, wringing his hands together and looking down at the ground which is different that he usually acts.

“Nao-chan, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, uhm, well I wanted to ask you something.” He makes eye contact with you and you nod for him to continue, “I bought these and thought we could go together.”

He pulls something out of the inside pocket of his jacket, passing it to you and for a second your blood runs cold, eyes scanning over the item picking up the word ‘volleyball’. By the warmth suddenly on your arm, you could tell that Naoki sensed your discomfort.

“Forget it, it was a dumb idea.”

“No! It’s not, it’s just…uhm…”

“I just thought that it might be a good way to get out of the apartment and it’s an Adlers’ game so maybe you’d seen your friend.”

You scrunch your brows together before looking back at the tickets. It was for a game between the Schweiden Adlers and Tachibana Red Falcons, a smile spread across your face, a mix of excitement to see Ushijima play again (his play style is still one of your favorites) but also that Naoki remembered these little facts about you.

“I’d love to go. I’ll call Ushijima and tell him we’ll be there!” You give him a quick hug, rushing to your room to get your phone, leaving a smiling Naoki behind.

** Naoki smiles watching you all but vibrate as you wait in line to go into the gym. The game had been all you talked about for the last two weeks, eager to get out of the apartment for anything other than classes or your on-campus job. You spent most of your free time telling Naoki just how amazing Ushijima is on the court and how he had already asked to meet Naoki, who seemed a bit nervous when you mentioned that.

“I didn’t know you liked watching volleyball, Nao-chan. Did you play in school?”

“Oh, uh no. The person I’m interested in likes it, so I thought I’d learn more about it.” He hands over the tickets, the two of you being ushered into to the building. His shoulder brushes yours due to the large amount of people all in the crowed hallway.

“I didn’t know you had your eye on someone! I’ll teach you all I know about volleyball so you can impress them!” You beam a huge smile at Naoki before your attention is pulled to the other side of the hallway. “Nao-chan! Let’s get t-shirts!”

He follows you as you drag him towards a table set up with shirts to memorialize the game. You intended to get matching ones, but due to size differences, you had a settle with a white shirt for you and a black on for Naoki. After you reluctantly let him pay, the two of you make your way to the gym, Ushijima had seats held for the two of you.

Once the whistle blew, you were back in your element, a huge smile on your face watching Ushijima command the court just like he had been for as long as you could remember. For the first time in years, you feel light and free, happier than you can remember being. Ushijima catches your eye at some point during the second set and you eagerly wave to him, giving him that same toothy grin you did as kids.

** “Toshi!” You barely give him time to turn around, running straight into him as you throw your arms around him, both Toshi and Naoki chuckle at the fact you managed to knock Toshi off balance for a few seconds.

“Y/N.” He pulls you into his broad chest and if you hadn’t known him for years, you wouldn’t believe that this tall and muscular man was the same boy who ran around with a watering can that was almost as big as him. “I’m glad you came today, it’s been a while.”

“Since high school.” You bite your lower lip and notice that Toshi squeezes your arm, a gesture he’d do to comfort you. He gives you a reassuring wink, letting you know that there’s no hard feelings about the past before he looks over at Naoki, “are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?”

“Oh no! No, no, no.” You stumble over your words, frantically waving your hands around.

“I’m Higashi Naoki, nice to meet you.”

“Nao-chan is just a friend.”

Linking your arm with his, you look back at him and see his smile drop for a split second before it reappears while shaking hands with Ushijima but that quickly leaves your mind when you see a familiar poof of orange hair. But before you can take the time to figure out who he is, you hear an accent that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget.

“Just friends, huh?”

Your eyes widen in horror, immediately turning and seeing the familiar sight of golden yellow hair walking away from you.

“Y/N—” Naoki reaches out to grab your arm, but you’ve already started running after Atsumu, calling out his name as you rushed to catch up to him, weaving through the crowded hallways.

“Tsumu!” You finally grab ahold of his wrist, trying to pull him back but instead he just yanks you forward as he tries to get his arm away from you.

“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy with an expression that matches, “why are you even here?”

“I came to see Tos—Ushijima.”

“I mean why are you here talking to me, you are clearly on a date with what’s his face.”

“Nao-chan? We’re just friends, it was just to get out of the apartment and have fun.” Your voice is trembling, bottom lip quivering listening to the harsh tone of his voice.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you were all over him, just stop lying.”

“No! I wasn’t.” The tears you’ve been trying to hold back now slip down your cheeks, you couldn’t figure out why he was acting like this especially when you were broken up.

“I never thought you’d end up like all those other girls, just another pig wanting to date me for status.”

Your heart is pounding loudly in your ears that you don’t hear whatever else he mumbled before turning and walking away, your arm weakly reaches out to him before your knees hit the vinyl flooring. After several moments pass, you feel someone pull you up and wrap their arms around you, the familiar scent of men’s body wash washes over you.

“Thank you.” You choke out, the comforting embrace causing more tears to fall.

“Best friends forever, right?”

*                      * 1 year and 3 months ago

“Are people looking at me?”

“Huh?” Yua raises an eyebrow as she looks over at you.

“There’s a psychology term for that feeling, it’s called spotlight effect.” Naoki says, trying to reassure you that no one’s looking.

“No, I think she’s right.” Yua stretches an arm out in front of him, causing him to stop walking before you drop your backpack on the ground, shocked.

Atsumu is standing on campus, wearing a suit, carrying a stupidly large bouquet of flowers, going around asking where you are, all but shouting your name to the sky. Part of you wants to disappear, of course he’d choose to stand in the middle of campus, catching everyone’s attention.

You trip slightly over your bag, marching towards him, barely hearing Naoki calling after you before Atsumu’s attention snaps to you, his eyes locking in on yours.

“Y/N!” Gleefully, he scurries towards you, handing the bouquet to you, it’s heavier than you thought it’d be.

“Atsumu, what are you doing?”

“I want, no, I need to talk to you.” He drops down to his knees and you can hear the increase of hushed tones, you glance back to see a very confused Yua and Naoki wears a horrified expression. “I’d like to try again, please.”

“Atsumu…”

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

“Okay, okay, just…please get up. People are staring.” You try to hide your face behind the flowers, the pure embarrassment causing your face to burn.

He pushes himself off the ground, grabbing your hand as he pulls you towards the faculty parking lot. It doesn’t feel like you are in your own body, your legs moving to keep up with him before he stops.

Once again, he drops down to his knees, grabbing your hands with his, pleading with you to listen to him, to believe that he really means it when he tells you that he’s changed, asking you for just one more shot. For most of his speech, you look at the top of his head, seeing that the golden yellow is being overtaken by his natural dark brown roots, your fingers twitch, wanting to run through his hair. It’s when you finally lock eyes with him that you see the tears that line them, a single one slipping down his cheek from the corner of his right eye.

“I shouldn’t have come.” He wipes his eyes, sniffling a bit. He squeezes your hands before he stands up, letting you go. “I’m sorry for doing this you.”

There’s no way to explain it, but he seems different and suddenly you want to see this new him, to be the one that gets to be part of this new and mature Atsumu. Throwing all your sense out the window, pushing the rational and logical voices of Yua and Naoki to the back of your head, you wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his back and you can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“Don’t go.”

*                      * 9 months ago

“Y/N! Door!”

Still in the process of buttoning your shirt, you poke your head out of your room, “I’m almost done, can you get it, please?”

Yua and Naoki share a look, when you had told them you decided to get back with Atsumu they weren’t shy about telling you how they were against it, that as your friend they hated seeing you so hurt, but they also told you that they weren’t just going to leave you either. It had been an unspoken rule that when it came to all things Atsumu (including opening the door) that they didn’t want to be part of it, for you to keep that part of your life away, unless he did something to hurt you.

Naoki reluctantly gets up, you can tell by the way he sluggishly walks his way towards the door. Dipping back into your room, you finish getting ready, grabbing your phone and sweater before pulling the door shut behind you.

You hear the door slam shut and look to see an irritated Naoki, “where’s Tsumu?” Naoki goes to speak, but you don’t give him a chance, instead just rush out of the apartment.

“Tsumu! Tsumu!” You shout out to him, barely catching his attention as he presses the button for the elevator. “Where are you going?”

He clenches his fist; the gesture catches your eye. “Home. I didn’t sign up to be humiliated tonight.” He looks at you, a type of rage in his eyes that you’ve never seen before and you aren’t sure what could’ve happened to make him so upset. Since he showed up on campus, begging for another chance eh always made sure to be open about his feelings.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have to tell me, Tsumu.”

“I just don’t like him being in your apartment.”

The elevator dings, doors opening and just as he goes to step into it, you pull back on his arm, pleading with him to stay, tears filling your eyes. He jerks his arm from your grip, not that you were holding on that tightly, and he steps into the elevator.

You aren’t sure why your relationship is like this, why it has so many ups and downs, why it hurts this much. You aren’t sure why being with Atsumu is so hard, why it feels like all you see is his back while he walks away from you, leaving you broken each time. In high school, you hated the almost boring way each day with Ushijima felt, but in this moment, you’d give anything for that because at least back then you felt safe and knew where you stood.

*                      * 5 months ago

For the last four months, Atsumu spoiled you rotten with daily gifts and elaborate dates. You received a flower a day, it was the flower of your birth month, boxes of your favorite candies, along with cards that had some romantic quote in them.

For dates, he takes you to the best restaurants, buys out move theatres, flies you to various parts of Japan to not only watch his games, but to show you around. When you’re together, he actually listens to you, takes his time to finally get to ask you about your upbringing, family, and where you see yourself in five years. He shows you how he’s remembered things you don’t like and even the things that you do and for the first time in the two plus years you’ve known him, it feels like things are starting to even out, that all the turmoil might just be over.

** “Do you like it?” His accent drips from his words, you’ve noticed the accent gets thicker when he’s either nervous or excited.

You glance around the empty apartment, a bit confused as why you’re standing in the middle of it. You thought that Yua apartment was big, considering it had two bedrooms, but this seems to be even bigger than hers. The large windows allow an abundance of natural light and you really do like that.

“It’s a really nice apartment.” You smile as he walks over to you, pulling you into his toned chest, his chin on your forehead.

“I’m glad, it’s yours.”

You pull back, shock written all over your expression, too many thoughts racing through your mind for you to form a sentence. Atsumu did a lot of crazy things, did a lot of spur of the moment things, but this, this really did top them all. “What?”

He shrugs, digging in his pocket before placing a key in your hand, he looks a bit scared to you. “It’s just…my lease was up and I know it’s a bit further from campus than Yua’s, but I was thinking you’d like to live here…with me.”

Without any hesitation, you throw your arms around Atsumu, repeatedly saying “yes” as you awkwardly bounced up and down. When you pull back, he cups your face in his hands, bringing you closer for a kiss.

You can’t stop smiling, eagerly nodding your head as Atsumu talks about furniture and getting your things boxed to be moved, not really hearing anything because all you can think of is that things are finally going to work out between the two of you and that’s why your heart is thumping against your chest.

*                      * 3 months ago

Two months.

8 weeks.

60.8 days.

That’s how long your relationship of bliss lasted, how long you saw the caring and loving version of Atsumu, the side of him that stole your heart even after months and years of back and forth, ups and down, on and off.

You hate it because things were going so well, everything was perfect, even better than how great things had been with Ushijima back in high school. What you hate even more is the fact that while you had been packing up your things, you said some not so nice things to Yua, telling her that she was wrong about him, that this time things were going to work out. You had all but bragged and even hit below the belt with saying she was just jealous that she didn’t have someone that loved her the way Atsumu loves you.

Nine times out of ten you’re alone in this apartment, your music on the highest volume isn’t loud enough to fill the silence that creeps through the rooms and wraps around you and when the silence gets to you, you’re forced to think about things you’d rather not. Like how right Yua had been, how Naoki was only looking out for you, how every time you got back together with Atsumu, it just seemed to hurt worse than the time before.

During that one time of ten that Atsumu is home, the two of you just fight, you fight about everything really; your classes, his games, your friends, his friends and now that you’re all but isolated from your friends, it just makes things worse. You’ve always hated comparing the two, Ushijima to Atsumu, knowing both relationships are/were different, but recently, you’ve wondered if repeating the same day over and over, if that almost suffocating comfort, you wonder if that would be easier to live with now when looked at next to the way your current relationship has been.

*                      * Atsumu flips his phone face down, muting it after it had begun to ring, turning his attention back to the movie the two of you were watching.

You scoff, pushing yourself off his side to lean against the other side of the sofa.

“Don’t start.”

“Start what? I was just getting more comfortable.”

“Cut the shit. You always do this.”

You roll your eyes, already irritated. “Did you want me to leave the room so you could call her back?”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” He pushes himself off the couch, shaking his head as he storms into the kitchen.

You reach across the couch, swiping his phone from the armrest, trying to get into it, but no surprise he’s once against changed the passcode. You’re fuming at this point, shoving yourself off the couch before you start to walk to your room. You were done, have been done with all of this.

His hand tightly wraps around your wrist and jerks you backwards towards him. He starts yelling, demanding that you give him back his phone and the anger in you takes over and you throw it across the room. You start to scream about how you’re done, you’re tired and don’t deserve to feel this miserable. He yells back telling you that he’s giving you things anyone would be thankful to have and you smack him with your free hand.

He freezes, dropping your wrist as he runs his fingers through his hair, the expression on his face is something you’ve never seen and without another word, he storms out of the apartment.

You didn’t see him for three weeks, if it hadn’t been for his teammates Hinata and Bokuto stopping by, you wouldn’t have known that he’s okay and has been staying with them. When he does come back, he has a long-winded apology and a large bouquet of flowers. He falls to his knees in the door way, telling you that he’s sorry, that he can’t believe his actions and that he swears that he’ll do better.

*                      * Present Day

When you open the door, Yua throws her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace and you feel yourself start to sob again. She holds you up as your knees get weak, letting the exhaustion take over you as you inhale her familiar perfume.

Naoki slightly pushes by the two of you, angrily making his way through the apartment, brows scrunched into a scowl. You watch as he flings open every door, stomping through each room before he walks back to you, rage radiating off of him. “Where the fuck is he?”

You’re startled, panicking you look up at Yua who wraps her arm around your neck and pulls you back into her, your face pressing just below the top of her shoulder.

“Obviously not here, so chill out.”

She ushers you over to the couch, Naoki handing you the throw blanket to wrap around yourself as you finally catch your breath. You lean your head on the back of the couch, it just adds pressure to your headache, but you’re having a hard time opening up to your friends.

“How’d you know something was wrong?” You slowly lift your head up, looking between the two of them, your face turning red when you hear that you called Naoki repeatedly around 2AM, leaving incoherent voicemails where they only picked up on the words: fight, Atsumu and leave.

“I really think you should move back in with me.” Yua speaks with caution, knowing how sensitive the topic is.

You just nod, defeatedly. You’re more upset about failing to maintain the relationship than you are that the relationship is over. Part of you wants to know why you put yourself through so much to prove you could stay with him, was it because you didn’t want your previous break-up to mean nothing? That if you could make this one work then you weren’t an awful person for ending things with Ushijima for an almost comical reason?

“Just pack what you have to have and we’ll replace whatever you don’t bring and need, okay?” Naoki gives you a small smile before Yua stands up telling you that she’ll grab your things from the bathroom and Naoki can get the things throughout the living room.

Roughly half an hour later, you have most of the things you brought, minus any gifts that Atsumu gave you, but you can’t seem to step through the threshold. Yua and Naoki are standing in the hallway waiting, but you’re afraid to make the step because all of a sudden it symbolizing a bigger commitment that you intended. Once you step out of the apartment, once you shut the door and drop the key in the box, you’re officially shutting the Miya Atsumu chapter of your life and that shakes you to the core.

“Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re right here. I’m right here.” Naoki reaches out his hand and you decide to take that leap, grabbing on to his hand like a lifeline. Your knees are wobbly as you place one foot into the hallway, straddling the threshold. “C’mon, just one more step. I got you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, frantically taking that last step before throwing your arms around Naoki, repeatedly saying “I did it!” He puts his hand on the back of your head, pressing you into him, telling you that he’s proud of you.

You take one last look into the apartment that for some reason now fills small, it feels different, like you no longer belong there and while you’re still terrified of letting go of the rope that ties you and Atsumu together, there’s something exhilarating about starting over. Your eyes are closed as you pull the door shut and when you turn and open them, you see proud smiles on both Yua and Naoki’s faces and you couldn’t help but be excited for this next chapter.

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