#the way me and my whole generation still remember these choreographies omg

[lakemuse]

Axe Bahia was really my childhood i miss dancing their songs in every kids party 😭

[woahsehun]

stray kids ship

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for: @neverlandbooksies1

hello !!! thank you so much for requesting a ship <3 firstly, I wanna say I’m so so so sorry for how late this is like genuinely 😭 it��s been so long and I don’t have an excuse other than being busy, so I hope this still reaches you in good spirits!

now, into the ships :) you requested skz and/or nct, so I hope it’s okay that I just went with skz for this time around. I also couldn’t fully decide therefore I have a second member as an honorable mention

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✧ felix ✧ virgo

starting off with zodiac signs, scorpios and virgos are actually very compatible! water and earth signs are generally compatible, but virgos and scorpios are both very passionate and dedicated, so a long term bond can be formed pretty easily

side note: minho is also a scorpio :3 (proving my previous points since minho cat dad and felix catboy)

next I’m going to talk about work fields. considering felix is partially a professional dancer, I think he would be thrilled to have a partner in the same field as him! it would be a really great bonding activity whether it’s just being silly and doing tiktok dances or learning harder choreographies. he would happily dance with you or just as happily sit back and admire you dance as well :)

I’m not sure if felix is much of a reader, but he definitely loves traveling as much as you do. although he can be a homebody, I see him as a person who really appreciates the outside world as well. he would love to travel to different places and try all kinds of foods, but also doesn’t seem like the type to pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. I know a lot of people give others a hard time for being picky eaters, but I think as much as he likes to try new foods he wouldn’t pout or make fun of you for not wanting to try something or step out of your comfort zone :) felix respectful king. we also know he loves fried chicken so another lil thing you have in common for sure

fashion/style is a section where I think you’d be more of opposites, but I think that’s something felix would like! like if you came out of your room in an all black fit chains stompers the whole vibe he would either be like, “waaaaa my partner is so cool 😮‍💨”, OR, “o o o my baby is so cute guys look at how cute they are 😁🫶”. your #1 hype man

lastly, how he fits into your ideal type. I couldn’t find the clip so I may be totally wrong, but I thought I remembered the other members saying that felix is the type to want to clear the air when he feels like something is wrong. I see him as being honest about any disagreements (in the nicest way he can. he also is pretty direct and shameless with his affection towards the members, so I think being with his parter would be the same if not more bold lmaooo. although felix can be very clingy physically, I don’t see him having a problem with either of you going and doing your own things. he wouldn’t mind being with you 24/7, but he also has other hobbies and I’m sure likes alone time on his days off as well. and honestly every member of skz is funny to me so in my head they all check off the funny box haha

also omg okay I forgot I was going to write this part until I put the below picture in, but I think felix would also be a fan of matching clothes. he would think it’s really cute if you both got matching fits but if yours was black and his was white or a lighter color <3 the picture below made me think of it because for nicer/fancier events (if you guys go to any) he would probably try and convince you to get matching suits

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⋆ bang chan ⋆ honorable mention

I feel like I don’t have as much to say about bang chan for this just because I have felix at the forefront for this ship, but I still think y’all would be compatible!

some basic notes:

• chan is definitely a natural caregiver, so even if you’re older than him I think he would unintentionally take on a leadership role in the relationship. not in a bossy way, but more in a way related to feeling somewhat responsible for your wellbeing

• one of the biggest things that I think would be a positive for you is that he would be 100% fine with spending time apart in terms of daily tasks. yes, he wants to take care of you, but not so much that he doesn’t want you to go out and do things without him ya know?

• when you’re together is when he’d be more nagging like if you’re picky about vegetables or certain foods that are good for you he may occasionally get on you about taking care of yourself, but at the same time he knows you’re capable of making your own choices so if he found it bothered you then he would try and be more aware of his words

• we also know how much time he spends in the studio, so I think an important activity for him could be you both spending time in the studio but doing your own things so you can be together but not necessarily feel suffocated. other than occasionally asking your opinion on some back tracks, he’d probably just sit and vibe

• chan also seems to like all types of music, so you’d have that in common, and he literally makes noise music a lot of times so he definitely likes it loud too

• you definitely have a similar style, so I think sharing clothes here and there would be inevitable. it’d probably even be hard to tell some of you’re clothes apart bc that shit is ALL BLACK !!!

• sorry for yelling, anyways

• overall I think you and chan would be a very cool looking couple on the outside, but would be very chill and a little goofy (mostly him <3) on the inside

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once again, I’m so sorry this took so long! but I hope you still see this and I hope you’re happy with it :) thanks again for the request!

have a great day <3

[monotonous-minutia]

top 10 favorite new-to-you operas of 2020 and top 10 favorite overall opera productions (which can be ones you’ve watched before 2020) of 2020, as well as why! (take all the time and space you need to answer this one)

thanks!! :)

top 10 favorite new-to-me operas (tried to remember the order in which I first watched them, but I could be wrong): La fille du régiment Just a really fun, humorous, adorable opera with a great cast of lovable characters and some really slappy tunes. Les Huguenots This one went onto my list of top favorite operas almost immediately. Another cast of amazing characters (aside from the really despicable villain), especially some lovely leading ladies; adorable trouser role who gets two (preferably) arias; some really gorgeous music; and an absolutely devastating tragic ending that's so powerful and meaningful. Idomeneo The ladies are fighting over the mezzo; Idamante is one of the cutest and purest opera characters EVER; incorporates Greek Mythology which is one of my favorite things; great cast of characters (though Idomeneo himself still drives me crazy); very sapphic; lovely relationship between the main couple (kinda enemies-to-friends-to-lovers); and again some really great music La clemenza di Tito TWO mezzo bois; very VERY gay on all levels; angst with a happy ending (though depending on the production the ending can be more ambiguous than happy); entire cast of Disaster Bis; one of the smartest sopranos in the world (Servilia); lovely portrayals of loyalty and friendship; and, of course, some AMAZING music. Cendrillon Mezzo love. That's pretty much all I need to say. But also it's got a lot of my favorite things: the libretto is super poetic and beautiful; the music is absolutely fantastic at evoking the fairy tale feel, especially in the scene in the forest; wonderful lovable characters; and simply ethereal music and singing for the leading ladies. Chérubin it's the adventures of our dear Cherubino, what more could I want? How can I not love an opera that's all about this wonderful disaster child? It's so lighthearted and fun and sweet and also just really spot-on hilarious. I was laughing my head off the entire time. Plus it's Massenet so the music is gorge, especially the mezzo music :D Benvenuto Cellini Not least because it introduced me to one of my favorite trouser roles, but also because (as we've discussed) it has basically everything you need in a (not-tragic) opera: fantastic cast of lovable, wonderful characters; exciting and somewhat angsty plot; joyous happy ending; really cute and pure lead couple; adorable trouser role; Disaster Bi hilarious semi-villain you just can't help but love; some really fantastic music; and so much fun and hilarity in general. La Rondine I give this one props because it somehow made me bawl my eyes out even though no one dies. And of course it's the whole Puccini "let's pretend this thing is an operetta for an hour and a half :) and make everything all lighthearted and happy :) and have everyone just have a great time singing some wonderful music :) and then break everyone's heart in the last half hour and leave them obliterated." Also that ensemble in Act II just makes me CRY even though it's like the happiest bit of the opera?? it's just so freaking pretty omg. Alcina Props for being one of the frickin gayest operas on the planet. Also contains one of my favorite pieces of music ever in the history of ever. In general has a lot of opportunities for folks being gay as heck. Oronte can fall off the face of the earth, though. Also I am a sucker for Handel in general. Plus mezzos loving mezzos. Can't go wrong with mezzos loving mezzos. (Yeah, I know technically Rugierro can be played by a countertenor, but I don't watch those ones ;p ) The plot is still "WTF???" in my head, but does that really matter when it's basically one nonstop gay mess? Die Fledermaus Really don't understand how this took so long to get into my life (especially because German operetta was my Thing back in the day) but now that it's in my life I love it to pieces. One of the most iconic trouser roles ever, and an entire cast full of lovable buffoons, as well as just one bop after another. Plus a really slapstick plot. Basically laughed through the entire show.

10 favorite overall opera productions of 2020: It was so hard to narrow this one down! I've seen so many amazing opera productions this year. To make it a little easier for me, I tried to focus on productions of operas that weren't new to me this year (though I HAD to put the Pelly Cendrillon on here. I couldn't not) so I could focus more on the production itself. These ones aren’t in any particular order bc I’m lazy:

Sher Hoffmann (Met 2009/2015) Surprise, surprise. I simply adore the production, set, costumes, staging, etc.--all so wonderfully weird and delightfully eccentric, without distracting from the very odd and complicated story. Plus, I love the casts in both performances, esp. Kate Lindsey but you knew that already ;) Sher Barbiere (Met 2017) Three words: DiDonato. Flórez. Mattei. Plus Del Carlo and Relyea and it's Sher so really, where can it possibly go wrong?? It's an absolute delight from beginning to end that just takes all the comedic gold from the story and runs with it, and, as with his Hoffmann, provides a delightfully eccentric set and staging without being distracting. Salzburg 2013 Don Carlo Super gay, amazing cast, beautiful production, contains material not seen many other places, and introduced me to Maria Celeng's Tebaldo, which will undoubtably forever be my favorite. Did I mention how gay it is? Garsington 2017 Nozze A really fun, charming, heartwarming, and beautiful staging of one of my favorite operas. I love the cast and set and costumes and that people in general are pretty nice to Cherubino, and the Count isn't as creepy or mean as in some productions, and has some legit nice moments with Rosina during the opera so his apology at the end actually comes across as kinda genuine. In particular I love the really adorable Figaro and Susanna (individually adorable, as well as being a really adorable couple) and Cherubino. Pelly Cendrillon (Met 2018/ROH 2010) Super gorgeous production that does an amazing job evoking the fairy tale feel. Not thrilled with 100% of the choreography but I love pretty much everything else about it--the sets, the staging, the cast (especially the Met cast, though there is one little detail in the ROH one I like better) and even the lighting are super intricate and effective. Munich 2011 Hoffmann Just a really delightfully weird take on this opera, with a great cast, some fantastic singing, hilarious sets and costumes, and some quirky staging and edit choices that make it really unique and fun. Met 2017 (Sher) Roméo et Juliette I should basically just say everything by Sher is my favorite now huh? I legit want to write this guy some fan mail because his work (especially for Hoffmann) has in a lot of ways just been really meaningful to me. I didn't even like this opera until I saw this production. It's so GORGEOUS and timeless and yet simple and sweet, and the cast is to die for. Met 2017 Norma Flippin gay, that's really all I need to say, oh my lord. Plus the cast is amazing. Honeslty don't remember much about the sets or costumes, I just remember how amazingly gay it is. Met 2009 Orfeo ed Euridice The dancing in particular is what draws me to this one, but also the expansive moving sets and some really heartbreaking choreography and blocking. Side note, I know a lot of people are annoyed with Amor's outfit, but I love how ridiculous her sparkly pink ensemble is compared with the sombre outfits of the leading cast (and chorus representing all those famous dead people historical figures). I mean, she's basically Cupid, right? When has Cupid every been spiffy or dignified? Plus the whole thing is super gay and really underrated in my opinion. Bonus: Stephanie Blythe is now hands-down my favorite Orfeo. La Scala 1995 Hoffmann Set and costumes are okay, effective but not particularly memorable, but holy lord is this one GAY as hell. That's my favorite thing about it, plus much of the cast (Mentzer and Shicoff, obviously, as well as Natalie Dessay being my favorite Olympia and Denyce Graves being one of my top favorite Giuliettas). There are a few kind of weird things about the staging, and the edit is far from being my favorite, but I adore how fully it embraces every aspect of gay that this opera presents. Plus it's one of the few I've seen that actually has a legit nice ending (others being Munich and Sher).

Thanks for the ask, sorry it got kinda long!

[watchmegetobsessed]

Enchanted - Adam Sackler (pt. 3)

OMG it feels like it took me forever to write this part and im so sorry for that but i’ve been so busy with school and just life in general, i barely get time at the end of the day to even start my computer and do anything. but i finally finished this part and im so excited for the story to continue!! as always, feedback is welcomed!

ps: im so exhausted, i didn’t have time to revise it so it probably has a bunch of mistakes, pls forgive me!

series summary: You are casted as Giselle in the Broadway adaptation of Enchanted with Adam as Robert.

word count: 3.9k

Part 1 - Part 2

masterlist

Chapter title: Princess

First rehearsal on the stage is thrilling for you, because even without an audience, the place has a special energy that hits you right at the moment you walk out. There’s no real set just yet, only a few props to signal where things will be placed once the designers are done.

Today’s walkover is about the date scene with Clyde aka prince Edward and you are excited to put your dancing shoes aside for just a little while, even though you know once this rehearsal is over you’ll have one with Matt and Adam for the ball scene, your absolute favorite. Trevor explains how he envisioned the scene to go, with the moving and changing set to make the audience feel like the two of you are walking through the city.

Working with Clyde has been the easiest so far. He is a genuinely nice and caring person, who obviously tries to put one hundred percent into everything he does, making it a real pleasure to work together with him. He definitely has the looks to play a prince, tall, tanned with a charming smile and luscious curls that bounce with every movement he makes with his head. You keep thinking about how he is basically what you would say to be your type, inside and out and you are actually surprised you haven’t fallen for him the moment his hand touched your waist. You like to think you’ve grown enough to contain your emotions.

“Have you had any costume fitting?” he asks as the two of you stand on the stage, scripts in hands while Trevor is discussing something with his assistant.

“No, but Misha has sent me a few previews. Have you?”

“Yeah, I had one yesterday. Can’t wait to step on stage in tights,” he grins making you chuckle.

“There’s no prince without tights.”

“Definitely,” he nods. “Anyway, your vocals are extremely on point.”

“How do you know?” you ask narrowing your eyes at him. You haven’t had any vocal lessons together, just solo ones.

“Cynthia showed me a recording last time, I was trying to learn the harmonizing and it helped to hear you too.”

“Oh,” you nod. “Well thank you, I’m sure you sing just as well too.”

“I’m trying, but no doubt you’ll be the star,” he smirks and you feel a blush warming your cheeks.

Rehearsing with Clyde feels like when you and Lora used to hang out in high school, just goofing around while trying to get your homework done. It’s productive, because you do what you are supposed to do, but you also keep making each other laugh with the constant joking and messing around.

After rehearsals you decide to check out the canteen for a late lunch together and it’s a suitable choice since your dance rehearsal with Adam starts in an hour so you have to stay around to be there in time.

“You can’t be serious,” you gasp, watching him dip his pickle into mayo.

“It’s a delicacy,” he chuckles before taking a bite and you actually feel yourself shiver.

“Oh my God, you are a psychopath!” you laugh shaking your head at him.

“Nah, I just have a sister who ate some really weird shit when she was pregnant, and I tried some out. This one turned out to be pretty good.”

“My statement still stands. Psycho,” you joke.

When a familiar tall figure appears you spot him right away even from just the corner of your eyes. It doesn’t take long for Adam to spot the two of you since the canteen is not big enough to make it hard for anyone to see who’s really there.

“What a coincidence!” Adam cheerfully greets you standing at the table. Clyde hops to his feet as their palms meet and they do that typical half-hug thing men always do. Then his eyes wander over to you and you let a smile take over your lips.

“Hi Adam, ready to dance?” you ask as he snatches a chair from the table next to yours and he sits down.

“I was born ready! Hope your feet don’t break easily,” he jokes and you just shake your head chuckling.

“It’s not fair you two get the pretty dance while I’ll be in the background in tights,” Clyde sighs, but you know he is just furthering the joke.

“Clyde is not too excited about wearing tights, as you can see,” you explain to Adam who understandingly nods.

“I’m just saying, that out of the three of us,” he says gesturing around the table, “I’m definitely not the right one to wear tights on stage.”

“You’re right, I have nice thighs,” Adam nods and you can’t help but start laughing loudly. Somehow the image of him wearing tights is just so absurd you’d really love to see it.

Clyde sticks around for a little longer, the three of you having a nice conversation, a normal one which is surprising given the fact that Adam is present, but maybe this is the proof that he can be normal sometimes too. Then Clyde needs to leave and once he is out of the canteen Adam turns to you.

“Clyde wants to fuck you,” he simply says and you almost choke on your apple juice.

“Excuse me?” you manage to get out between coughs.

“What? Did you not notice how hard he was trying?”

“He wasn’t trying, he was just being a nice, normal person. You could try it,” you grimace at him. So much for being normal for once.

“Oh come on! I bet he’ll nut tonight thinking about you.”

“Would you stop unloading your dirty fantasies on me? Not everyone is as kinky as you. Most people don’t make a whole film about their relationship filled with all the sexual details.”

“Holy fuck, you watched the whole film!” he gasps happily and you immediately regret opening your mouth. You really should have thought about what you say. “How did you like it?”

“Honestly, I have no idea how you got away with making it, if I was your ex I wouldn’t have let you make it.”

“She saw it.”

“I bet she loved it.”

“She loved it when it happened in real life and I didn’t lie in the film,” he shrugs and the blush is back on your cheeks as you think about everything you saw in that film. The most intimate moments of a quite passionate relationship were revealed right in front of you and if you are being honest, you felt like part of it by the end, no matter how disturbing it was to see Adam in such scenes.

“I’m actually surprised you watched it.”

“Why? You were nonstop bugging me to watch it.”

“Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t.”

“Well, I did and the trauma can’t be undone now,” you give him a look and checking the time you see that if you don’t leave now you’ll be late and Matt will be furious at the both of you.

You manage to dodge any further questions about the film as the two of you head for rehearsal, though you can tell he is curious about what you really think. It was definitely not a good idea to bring it up right before rehearsal, because now you have to get through 90 minutes pressed up against him, dancing to an incredibly romantic song, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. Not ideal.

The song is critical. Not because it’s that bad, but because you are a real sucker for the kind of music in movies that could make you cry because they are so perfect for the scene. You’ve seen the movie way too many times and dreamed about dancing with that one person, but you never thought you’d actually dance to this song with someone and that person is now Adam.

It’s all fun and games when you are just learning the basics, not even touching, just standing in a line with Matt in front of the mirror and dancing like you have an imaginary partner. You keep peeking at Adam in the mirror and he is not that bad, in fact, he is doing great so far, you don’t know why he said he is not a good dancer.

“Okay, ready to combine?” Matt claps his hands, wiggling his eyebrows as he takes a step back, giving the two of you space to get close.

You hesitantly turn to Adam who closes the distance with one long step, standing right in front of you. Looking up at him you remember Lora’s comment on his height when it will be like to kiss him and you quickly furrow your eyebrows trying to get rid of the thought.

“What’s the look for?” Adam smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side gently.

“Nothing,” you purse your lips.

Matt helps you find the right position, Adam’s palm feels warm on your back and you suddenly wish your shirt was a bit thicker, covering you better. You feel his defined muscles under your palm on his shoulder and your eyes linger a little longer at the way your hand gets lost in his hold.

You first try it without the music, mostly both of you staring down at your feet to make sure you are doing the steps right and Matt gives you time to adjust, but you can’t keep your head down forever.

“Alright, let’s make a try and this time try to look into each other’s eyes at least half the time,” Matt requests and you bite into your bottom lip, trying to control your nerves. This is just dancing with Adam, the weird guy who made a kinky film about his past relationship, remember? He is weird!

But he is so tall and his eyes are so dreamy and his hands are…

“Okay, five, six, seven, eight!” Matt’s clapping interrupts your thoughts as you start the choreography again.

You have to watch your feet at first so you know you’re heading in the right direction, but a few steps later you force yourself to bring your gaze up and your eyes meet his.

It just hits different. Being so close to him, feeling his touch on your back and palm, you suddenly feel a strong urge to run your fingers through his hair and you almost do it before you tell yourself to behave. There is just something in him that makes your whole mind stop working properly even though you have a pretty strong opinion about him and the kind of man that he is.

For a spare second you even forget to breathe as you are staring into his eyes and there’s a feeling in your guts that you just can’t identify and before you could get further in this sensation Matt’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Amazing, this will look fantastic!”

You force a small smile to your face as you look at the choreographer and he brought you back to reality just in time.

You try to lock this feeling up in the remaining time so you don’t embarrass yourself with something. The last thing you need is to say something that gives away the conflict you are having in you.

“You’re always so fast to leave!”

Adam’s voice stops you when you are already out in the hallways, ready to leave and stay unnoticed, but that last part apparently did not work. Wrapping your hands around the strap of your bag you turn around and see him heading in your way with long steps, his hair flowing with him.

“Why should I be here without getting paid for my time?” you tilt your head with a half-smile and your comment makes him laugh.

“Good point. Do you have to be somewhere?” he asks catching up with you and now you are walking towards the exit side by side.

“Apart from my bed? Not really.”

“Great, then let’s get a beer or something.”

“It’s not a suggestion or an invitation, he states it like you’ve agreed on it weeks ago and you find yourself being quite okay with it.

Settling in a nearby place you order yourself the beer that’s been talked about, but Adam just sticks with iced tea and you give him a puzzled look for his choice.

“You said we are getting a beer.”

“Yeah, for you. I don’t drink.”

“What?”

“I’m a recovered alcoholic, I don’t drink,” he explains and now you have another piece of information about him that you put into your little Adam Sackler file in your head.

“So you are trying to get me drunk?”

“I’m not saying I don’t hope to have you spill something juicy about yourself, but I’m not forcing you to drink either.”

There’s a boyish smile playing on his lips and you roll your eyes at him as the drinks soon land on your table.

You find it amusing how fast he can make you forget about everything you’ve been thinking about when you thought about him, and make you see him just as this funny, carefree person who is sitting right across you at the table. He really is funny and it’s not just the beer that’s telling you this, he has a great sense of humor, he is especially talented in saying the funniest things with the straightest face, just staring at you like he is meaning every single word that leaves his mouth when you both know it’s all just bullshit.

“I’m honestly having a hard time figuring you out,” you sigh leaning back in your chair, fingers fidgeting with your second beer on the table. You’re definitely not drunk, just loose in the best kind of way.

“What’s so hard about it?” he tilts his head, genuinely interested in your answer.

“I don’t know, you are just… It’s like you have these different personalities and I can never know which is the real one.”

“What personalities?” he chuckles at your theory.

“One is this funny, normal guy,” you start gesturing towards him. “Then there is the kinky bastard who spanks girls and then there is this mysterious, serious side that I always see in rehearsals.”

“Kinky bastard?” he chuckles, clearly enjoying the discussion. “You’ll never let go of the spanking, right?”

“It just doesn’t fit into the picture,” you explain.

“That’s because we never had sex and we haven’t spent that much time together outside of rehearsals. I’m working there, of course I’m being serious! That’s just how adults act in serious scenarios. But the rest is just simply me, a mixture of the things you just said.

“So you are just a funny, normal guy with a hint of kinky?”

“Probably more than a hint, but yeah,” he nods smirking.

Spending time outside of rehearsal really helps you see Adam as a whole, the mixture of the sides you’ve experienced from him and you feel like it has brought him closer to you as a person, a colleague and maybe as a friend. You find him an amazing company actually, a great partner to discuss different kind of things. He has a somehow different view of the world than you, but you also agree on many things and this creates the perfect base for an actually interesting and enjoyable conversation.

“Stop!” You gasp laughing as you try to get Adam off a pole on your way home after he decided he is strong enough to hold himself up horizontally on it, but he is just probably getting close to knocking it straight out of the ground.

“They should make these more massive!” he grunts jumping back to the ground.

“You are massive,” you snort as the two of you leave the poor pole and continue walking towards your building.

“I am. In all means,” he smirks at you and you imitate gagging. His dirty comments stopped bothering you, he kept sneaking in something inappropriate into the conversation throughout the night and you just kind of got used to it. This is how he is, a kinky bastard, but at least a funny one.

“You know, we should hang out more often,” he suggests galloping ahead of you and turning to face you he does a funny dance move that makes you laugh.

“Oh yeah? So I should spend my little free time outside of rehearsals with the same person I’m with all day?”

“We are not together all day,” he protest and you just chuckle, knowing well he is right, you just felt like exaggerating. “You didn’t have fun tonight?” he asks as he returns next to you, walking side by side.

“I did.”

“Great. Then we will spend more time together,” he nods and it’s not a suggestion anymore, he is stating it like the most certain fact ever.

You don’t protest.

 Sometimes rehearsals are like one big chaos, especially when everyone is present on the stage, all dancers and actors with the production staff, but there’s no other way to rehears the big dancing scenes.

Today it’s the park scene again, you are wearing another flowy dress Misha gave you, that resembles to the one you’ll be actually wearing, Adam is dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt, nothing extra, and he seems to be enjoying that everyone around him is doing their absolute best while he has to do that one lifting and nothing else, just follow you around the stage.

Clyde is at the back, he has only a little stage time as the prince is looking for Giselle in the park, so beside Adam he is the other person who doesn’t have much to do.

“How do you know he loves you?” you sing with a bright smile and big gestures, grabbing Adam’s wrist as you pull from one place to another, dancers following around, the scene constantly changing around you to make it look like you are on the move. “How do you know he’s yours?”

You catch Adam smirking and you already know he is thinking about something dirty, as per usual. You do the lifting and you feel his hand smacking your ass when he puts you down, no one notices, but you shoot him a glare to which he just smirks again.

“Okay, amazing. Take ten, we’ll see the final part a few more times!” Trevor instructs when the music stops and people starts flowing off the stage.

“Stop touching my butt,” you tell Adam, the two of you walking towards the edge of the stage.

“I can’t, it’s just always in the way,” he holds up two hands innocently and you just roll your eyes at him.

“Hey, do you guys have any plans for tonight?” Clyde walks up with a bright smile as he joins the two of you, fingers fidgeting with the water bottle in his hands.

“I’m babysitting my niece,” Adam answers running a hand through his hair.

“You have a niece?” you turn to him surprised.

“I do,” he simply nods and it doesn’t seem like he is about to share any more details so you turn back to Clyde.

“I’m free.” “Wanna go for a drink maybe or something? I’m so done sitting at home when I’m not here.”

“Sure,” you nod and watch Clyde walk away smiling back at you.

“He is still trying hard to get into your pants,” Adam scoffs and you turn to him with a grimace.

“He is not.”

“Oh he surely is. I’m pretty sure he thinks this is a date or something like that.”

“It’s not a date.”

“Tell that to him, because the dude is keen on fucking you, princess.”

You eventually give up trying to convince Adam about your truth, and you also realize you don’t owe him a word. You know what this really is and that’s all that matters. Adam can think whatever he wants, that still doesn’t make it real.

“So you’re really going out with him, huh?” Adam comes up to you once rehearsal is over. You glance up at him nodding while you’re packing your stuff up.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m telling you, he thinks this is more than just casual drinking.”

“So then what?” you sigh, confused about why he is so worked up by the thought of you and Clyde having a few drinks. “I’m single, he is a nice guy, maybe I also think of it as more. Is that not an option?”

He genuinely seems surprised by your answer and it tells you he clearly didn’t think of this version. Frowning a bit he tilts his head.

“So that’s your type?”

“Stop using that tone, please,” you sigh zipping your bag and heading to the door, Adam following you right behind.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but still, that’s not how I imagined your type to be.”

“You often think about what my type is?”

“I did a few times, yes.”

“Then stop,” you sigh stopping and looking at him. “It’s not like you have a word in it or something. If you hate the idea of me and Clyde going out so much, just come. He invited you as well.”

“I told you, I’m babysitting my niece. My sister would lose her shit if I cancelled.”

“Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Just stop thinking about it,” you shrug, clearly over it, but Adam is not on the same page.

“Cancel on him.”

“Why would I do that?” you ask with a puzzled chuckle.

“Because…” he is searching eagerly for the right words, his hands anxiously tapping on his thighs. This is a waste of time, you think to yourself.

“See you at the next rehearsal, Adam,” you sigh walking away.

 Clyde is awesome. Clyde is exactly the person you imagined for yourself a little while ago, he is nice, funny and just overall a good person. You enjoy spending time with Clyde and you find him attractive, but…

But something is just off and you can’t tell what it is.

Sitting in a bar with him that evening you can’t stop thinking about that one thing that’s making you not fall for him even though you know you should be. Adam’s words keep repeating in your mind about how he is not what he thought your type would be.

Of course he is my type! You basically tell yourself defiantly, cursing Adam out for planting such thoughts into your mind. Stupid Adam!

By the time you and Clyde part your ways you are pretty sure this wasn’t a date which is a relief, but it still got you thinking why you are so against dating Clyde. On your way home you catch yourself pulling your phone out of your bag to text Adam and tell him you were right when you stop in your way in the middle of the street.

“Are you stupid?” some random guy growls at you who almost bumps into you. Looking up you mumble a short sorry before looking back down at your phone.

Adam was all you thought about all evening, you saw him in everything Clyde said and now he is your first thought and the person you want to talk to. He sneaked his way into all of your thoughts and this is starting to feel concerning.

Adam is not your type. He just can’t be.

Clyde should be.

Not Adam.

Right?

Right?!

-

general/forever taglist for Adam Driver

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!

@superdriver​ @siren-queen03​ @holacherrycola90​ @spencer-is-amazing​ @unusual-kindred-spirits @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars​ @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog​ @hurricanesunset​ @writerandee​ @luxury-0pps​ @prncess91​ @malefoygal​ @zaahidahhh​ @filternotincluded @fire-in-her-veinz​ @emily-strange @ktellmeastory​ @grouchosgirl​ @tapismyforte​ @unusual-driver-paterson​ @beeblisss​ @septicvic97​ @cackleifyou​ @gotiashley​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[wiinterrose]

          ( xavier serrano , male , he/him, 23 ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝟓 𝐀𝐌 : 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ?” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒 and 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 . but i’ve heard they’re also 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 and 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂 ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑 ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that ██████████████████, but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan ! ( ollie , they / them , 21 , est )

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think it’s funny when characters are from winnipeg. if you’re from winnipeg i’m so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )

— but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.

— random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because he’s canadian and i’m not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh 🤔🤔🤔 but anyway...

— also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.

— he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.

— his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i don’t want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what i’m talking about : i’m highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so don’t @ me for him having the same first name ).

— millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought he’d see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singer’s north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then he’s danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.

— he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.

— mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasn’t like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.

— he’d had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasn’t something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.

— it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).

— he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasn’t also drunk at times l o l.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— mikey is a... how do u say... im gunna write manwhore bc it’s accurate so pls don’t take offense. inch resting bc i’ve written smut like once in my eight year rping career but that’s what he decided he was gunna be and who am i to deny that.

— very bi. very much does not care. if the world didn’t know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasn’t come out in the sense he’s like posted a video about it and said “i’m bisexual” but it’s pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? i’m sorry he’s not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.

— hasn’t dated anyone since matt bc he’s highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, he’s very much the same : seemingly happy, but he’s a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything he’s become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.

— probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and i’m not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...

— straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.

— i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

— he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isn’t the case. but he’s found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he can’t understand but he hears and remembers everything. it’s helped him out of a few difficult situations before.

— i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolan’s personality & dumbass energy idk guys...

— live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life it’s been pretty crazy and that’s only solidified his outlook that like, you really can’t control too much. just let it go where it takes you.

— people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but he’s more slippery than he comes across. he’s a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

— extroverted. i think ??

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′1″. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive. 

— he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.

— needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless he’s in his apartment late at night.

— he’s not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, he’s probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldn’t know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas:

— the singer whose tour he danced on — singer whose music videos he’s been in — mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) — flirtationship 😔 — always ye ol good hookup l o l — we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??

TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

𝐎𝐎𝐂

          hey guys, i’m ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, i’m a slow plotter bc i’m easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance don’t @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc 😳 & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[momtemplative]

Summertime.

Summertime is fucking awesome for a kid.

I remember entire days—chunks of days— that were spent at the pool, with Will Smith’s SummaSummaSummaTime bumping through the loud speakers while we ate nachos with fake cheese for lunch with our wrinkly, chlorine-sodden fingers. For months, everything smelled with a hint of chlorine and freedom. Open expanses of time were glorious.

Then I had kids. 

With kids and summer, there is a lot to consider, a grand choreography to uphold. I always lose sleep before summer. It feels as if my role jumps from “parent” to “coordinator of peace and good times for three straight months,” (even typing all that was exhausting), where everyone is entertained, but not too entertained, happy, but not overly happy, everyone has a routine, but plenty of time for spontaneity, and so on! YAY!

Like all grand puppet-masters, I feel deeply anxious before the show even begins. Damn you, summer!

Summer is just the right length where we can get through it, at times gliding through mercifully, at times, hanging on to all the tow-ropes and oh-shit handles we can find along the way. The number of kid meltdowns and sibling fista-cuffs greatly increases as we near the finish line. The phrase, “We’ll try and get you some space,” is utilized daily. Then, when school starts again, we all heave a sigh of relief that is audible for blocks. 

I wasn’t fully aware of the amount of time and energy that went to keeping the machine-of-summer afloat. Until COVID and our involuntary exposure therapy. We were thrust into “summer” two-and-a-half months early, without warning and without any external supports. It felt like some bizarre test in endurance. Like our human capacity for resilience was being evaluated for future generations. There was no more just getting through. We were thrown in way too deep for that. We had to figure out how to function, how to grow and maintain sanity because, for this version of summer, there really is no finish line.

After the first two COVID-weeks of being at home with the kids, no work or school (or online school at that point), no activities or playdates, no outside world to depend on, I fell apart. As in, to pieces—the way one does when they are trying to hold everything together. The uptick in fights, tantrums and explosive emotions, with no end in sight, was too much to process.

After a few hours of wallowing, I picked myself up and pulled down a pile of books from the shelf that have added perspective in the past—Siblings without Rivalry, The Wisdom of No Escape, Care of the Soul. The words were nice, but nothing cut through the wall of despondency. So I pulled out my phone and searched “Siblings Fighting” on my Janet Lansbury podcast, smearing tears as I went.

(A note here on Janet Lansbury. As a parent of young kids, no one person has benefited my faculties, mental health and wit more than Janet. Her podcast is rich with real-life wisdom that changes the experience of parenthood for the better.)

In the random sibling-titled podcast that I discovered—from years ago, but still, obviously, totally current—Janet was replying to a woman who had three young kids and was losing her mind trying to maintain tranquility in her house. The woman said something to the effect of, it would have been so much easier if I’d only had one.

To this, Janet replied with what felt, to me, like a beautiful and classic snap-out-of-it moment. She said, No. I disagree. Followed by something to the order of this: When you have one child, you can still live under the illusion that you can keep everyone happy. When you have two kids, you start to see that it’s really tough, damn near impossible, to keep everyone happy and peaceful, but you may still try. With three kids, you have the gift of experiencing first hand that the jig is up! No matter what kind of tiny-statue-winning show you maintain, there is no way in hell you can keep three young kids peaceful all the time. So you are forced to stop trying. 

I came to the conclusion that COVID is my third child. 

And with that thought—like the scene in Mary Poppins where the messy room gets magically tidied as if from an internal intelligence all its own—my insides were completely fresh, organized, and updated. My energy quadrupled.

With the externals turned down, with nowhere to go, and all of us cohabiting the same tiny shoebox of a house, it’s not going to be business-as-usual for quite some time. And we’ll all fare better with adjusted expectations. We are all in a fishbowl and, while clocking in endless hours together, I saw right-quick the laundry lists of things I feigned having control of: my girls and their interactions, potty training for Ruth, the weather (which rules if we can or cannot get outside), my mood, Jesse’s mood. 

Janet says, wake up expecting turmoil—then you won't make it your job to live free of it, get rid of it, fix it, numb it. Discord is healthy. Emotions are healthier. Don’t dive in and ride the waves with your kids, stand back and watch, give them space, be there for them to come back to shore. The last thing they need is a mom who is also out of breath, scraped up and with sand in her ears. I don’t need to be Queen Empress of their journey as siblings. I don’t need to have a say in every nuance, every detail and pixel of this habitat. 

And, she says, give yourself permission to flounder, too. Always, but especially right now. Some moments just feel brutally claustrophobic—we can be ready for that. A few days ago, I started crying while Jesse was giving me a shoulder massage. No warning, just did. I had a major-headache and I couldn’t think straight. Opal said, “Mom, are you crying?” SO defensive, I said, “I feel like I’m under a magnifying glass!” and ran out of the room. And sometimes it just goes like that. (I apologized to Opal soon thereafter.) If my emotions are coming out sideways like this—at 42 and with thousands of dollars under my belt spent on therapy��imagine what our sweet kiddos are going through!

And sometimes things settle organically into their rightful place, without force or manipulation. Today, I was lying on the floor in the hallway—not an unusual sight in the middle of the day for me to have my legs up a wall for a short period of time. This time, Ruth was in the bathroom in the tub, the door open to my right. She was acting out a full drama with her Elsa and Anna barbies. Opal was behind her bedroom door, which was closed, reachable by raising my right arm. She was doing her singing lessons over Skype, crooning her gorgeous little heart out. Jesse was behind door number three, our closed bedroom door, easily reached by my left hand. He was talking on the phone in hushed tones to who-knows-who. Three completely separate worlds were happening peacefully, simultaneously, all within my arm’s reach. It was a tiny little subculture, and I was in the middle, observant and spacious, not expending even the slightest molecule of energy. 

If anything, I was bolstered as a part of this whole, the Grimes system, my family.  And there were a few cherished minutes to get lost inside of that settled feeling, which is becoming less and less rare, before Ruth hollered that she needed to pee and I snapped back to attention. 

So here we are, nearing the end of the first official week of summer. No public pool or Will Smith or finger-paint-yellow nacho cheese. I can’t quite fathom a summer without any of the norms—camps and playdates and travel. For now, no public places, parks, or our blessed little library.

Things are starting to slowly open again, though I suppose they have been for weeks now. We have taken two magnificent walks with our close friends—socially distanced and masked. It’s still strange, but a step forward, no doubt. Cultivating moments of connection like these, situations hinged in community—even if virtual—are key in maintaining some sense of equanimity as time moves forward. 

(PS: This is utterly different from the work of the puppet-master.)

Though time feels anything but linear. I flash-forward to the image of my daughters ten, twenty, years from now, reminiscing about the COVID era with their friends. (Six feet apart on walks, remember? The masks, OMG, the MASKS!) I think back to when I was a kid and scour the already-murky memories for some example of a comparable viewpoint, something I can offer to my girls, tell them I had been through something similar when I was their age. But I come up with nothing, nada. 

We are all writing this story as we go.

May 27, 2020

[ihearyourvoicecrying]

McKinnon visits recap

My four-day trip to the McKinnon Hotel has officially finished. It was four days of adventure, dream and fantasies. Also, it effectively prevents me from keeping on missing the McKittrick.

Are the two versions alike? Yes. But there exist some obvious differences as well. If you’re already a fan of McKittrick, McKinnon is the place you don’t wanna miss when you visit Shanghai.

I watched the show four days in a row, and still there are so many strange moments (to me) that I failed to catch up with. I’ll try my best to describe what I felt, but in a spoiler-free way. So don’t be afraid of spoilers in this post.

Warning: Recap is a very personal thing, so don’t feel astonished when you find out that I understand the show differently from you do. I also welcome friendly discussions

The Scenes & Settings

McKinnon is definitely much larger than the McKittrick, I felt that the moment I stepped into the dark hallway. It took me a century to finally get to the end. Then it’s the Manderley Bar, which is, still, bigger than that in the McKittrick. There are more seats for audience members, but unfortunately not enough space for MIB and WIB to dance (which is one of my favorite in-bar moments), so you probably won’t see bar characters dancing in McKinnon.

After getting out of the elevator, I immediately realized that the inner world was broader than I imagined. I spent four days exploring the scenes but still got lost sometimes. The McKinnon gave me a strong sense of being lost in a good way. I really enjoyed the feeling of seeing some familiar settings but still not knowing where I was exactly.

Despite the large inner world, the ballroom is somehow smaller than that in the McKittrick. Also, the ceiling was lower, which made me a little upset while watching the ball and the finale because of the comparatively less space.

In general, I believe that the overall space in the McKinnon was larger

The Audience

I don’t know if it’s just the week I visited or it’s the normality, but I got the feeling that SNM Shanghai is an easily sold out show. Plus, larger setting allows larger audience size, which made it much more crowded inside the hotel. I’ve met someone in the McKittrick who’s been annoying during the whole show by doing nearly everything not permitted. However, in the McKinnon, a single audience member bahaved better, but when everyone’s got some of my pet peeve, it could be an issue. I was glad to see few (or even no) phone players (probably because of the phone locking policy) and mask off-ers, but there were certainly more hand holding, murmuring and pushing. Families, friends, and lovers, people always don’t want to be separated from each other, so they choose to stick together all the time. And people became really aggressive sometimes when they wanna be in the first line of get some interaction. I’ve also heard enough of discussion about the story while the show was still going on, like they will leave each other forever after the show so they have to tell what was on their mind at once.

The Plot

I would like to describe the McKittrick’s Sleep No More as a story book with many blank pages. The show itself finished most of the pages for us, but we are always encouraged to imagine and complete the missing parts of the story. The McKinnon, on the other hand, somehow leaves less blank space in the storybook. It is very interesting that details in the story may change according to different performers’ interpretation and performance. I can’t say which version is better, because I enjoy creating my own speculations of the show, but I’m also dying to see how others, especially performers, understand it. It doesn’t matter whether their stories are like mine. I’m always amazed while someone led me view the story from another angle.

The Scent

McKinnon did an excellent job in leading its guests with scent: each place had its own unique scent that silently indicated people where they were. I’m not very good at describing smells but, when I enter a room the second time and smell something familiar, I would know that I’m in the place even if I didn’t remember how the room looked like.

The scent also effectively put each setting apart. Even when two totally unrelated places are just separated by a door, visitors could still have the feeling of entering a totally different world. It was like the story really took place in a forest, in a hospital, in a bar, or any other magical place somewhere in the world.

The Characters

Some relatively not-so-busy characters in the NY version definitely did more in SH! Also, the brand new characters added based on a traditional Chinese tale attracted me a lo! I spent most of my time following the new male character, and fell in love with his story. It was an attractive one.

The bar characters are very interesting to talk to. They are really sensitive to the time they’re in. I tried to talk about some modern things (like the phone) and they all looked confused. Of course, there are much more to explore. Like I said, it was so much fun talking to them. Also, I believe they are somehow part of the story, the story with witchcraft, schemes and violence.

The Choreography

Not too many things are changed, but some dancing movements may be slightly adjusted because of different settings. In my opinion, some of the changed were a little strange, but maybe I was just used to the McKittrick choreography. The overall choreography was as wonderful as the NY version.

And I have to mention: the newly added characters made amazing dancing scenes! I couldn’t get my eyes off them at all. The newly created choreography movements surprised me all the time.

The Costume

McKittrick familiars wouldn’t find it difficult to recognize characters, but their costumes are not exactly the same as those in NY. For example, Lady M’s ballgown had some elements of the Chinese traditional Qipao. Duncan and Malcolm’s suits killed me every time I saw them, they were fabulous.

The Residents

Just wanna cry out for the excellent performers! Also, I met some former residents of the McKittrick Hotel, and even former cast of The Drowned Man. It was like people who lived only in others’ description suddenly became alive in front of me. It was a dream coming true, and the dream was-with no doubt-a wonderful one.

(Steven Apicello and James Finnemore were perfect OMG!)

(Too bad that I didn’t get the chance to see Olly Hornsby-Sayer. I’ve always wanted to see him)

Oh, have I mentioned that McKinnon recently changed its outdoor decoration? Here are some pictures I took

And their posters

And my “I went to the McKinnon!” pictures

(Yes I was allowed to drink in China lol)

My McKinnon trip this year has ended but it’s never an end. I would like to visit it again whenever I have the chance, and I want to tell everyone who hasn’t seen SNM Shanghai: Go see it!

[asouthernprincessupnorth]

Sweetener Tour, 19 September 2019, Sheffield

Hi guys! You can guess from the title what this post is about: Ariana Grande’s Sweetener Tour! I went to her concert with a very dear friend, Nabil, and let me tell you that it was amazing.

So, we bought the tickets way back in December 2018, if I’m not mistaken. When I found out that Ariana was coming to the UK, I thought I just had to see her at least once. Me and Nabil looked at her schedule and when I found out she was coming to f-ing Sheffield, I just knew that there is no way I could possibly miss out on it. I mean, Sheffield, of all places!

I got up as early as I could on the day of the ticket sales and within a minute that the tickets were being sold, I couldn’t get any. I kept on refreshing the page until it showed I could get two tickets on the f-ing Gold Circle, which is basically the most expensive ticket category (but not as expensive as VIP-Meet & Greet). After hastily agreeing with Nabil, I clicked on the purchase. Yep, I bought a very, very expensive concert ticket.

Me and Nabil went to the venue as soon as queuing was allowed by the Arena and we spent at least three-and-a-half to four hours in the queue. Was it worth it? It was. We got into the Standing area but I just knew that our Gold Circle tickets should’ve gotten us closer to the stage so I basically ran to the edge of the Standing area, showed our Gold wristbands to the security guards, and got ourselves into the f-ing Gold Circle. I ran and managed to stand on the second-to-front row. Let me tell you this: it felt awesome. Me and Nabil got slightly separated because he went to buy us some water (which each cost f-ing £2.50) and when he returned, two girls and a mother already stood behind me. But it’s okay. He was still very close to me and we managed to chat a bit during the concert. Also, so many young girls (preteens and even a child barely five years old) going there with their mummies and daddies. Wow.

Social House and Ella Mai opened the concert. I honestly loved Social House! I’d never heard their music apart from their collaboration with Ariana on Boyfriend but they had such positive, great energy and were very engaging with the audience. I might’ve not known any of their songs but when they left the stage, I knew that they made me want to listen to their EP. Ella Mai had a very beautiful voice but, sadly, I felt she wasn’t very engaging. The stage was rather circular/oval-shaped, with the central void being filled with VIP audience and the outer parts of the circle surrounded by Gold Circle (yes, I’m terrible at describing visual stuff in English). However, Ella stayed only on the main stage with the musicians and did not go around on the circular part, which made things less engaging (at least in my opinion).

Warning: The part about Ariana is very much all over the place.

Now. Now. Ariana. The songstress herself. Good God. She opened with the intro raindrops (an angel cried), and the crowds just went mad, including yours truly. We basically screamed and sang along and I saw that the stage was still empty but the visuals were starting. Oh. The visuals were very much all about the sun and stars and moon. When she started raindrops, it looked as though there was an eclipse or something.

And then, she rose up from the ground with her dancers in a very, very familiar setting: God is a woman as seen on the MTV VMAs 2018. Spread across a dining table, as though it was a reinterpretation of The Last Supper. And she sang. She had a very beautiful, very clear voice. I noticed, however, that the mic might not have been super clear because whenever she said anything that wasn’t her song lyrics (like when she greeted the audience or said something about the song no tears left to cry several songs after God is a woman), I couldn’t really hear what she said. Either that or she wasn’t very good in her pronunciation (this is actually one of the quite valid critiques of her vocal/singing. Yes, I love and adore Ariana but I also agree that sometimes she doesn’t enunciate well).

Anyway. I had a very, very magical 90 minutes listening and watching Ariana’s performance. She was generally energetic, fun, and engaging. She was appreciative of her band and her backup dancers, whom I think she genuinely sees as her friends. Ariana’s vocals, though, are the star of the show. Of course, what else do you expect from her? Every time she hit a high note it made me feel like I was being choked because how did she do it???? And she killed it. I’m pretty sure at some point I heard a whistle note from her, though it wasn’t as flexible as Mariah Carey’s had been in her prime. This isn’t a bad thing, though. It’s great that Ariana can do whistle notes, doesn’t mean she has to do it in the most vocally-acrobatic style because God knows stretching it too far can affect your other vocal abilities.

I loved every part of it, of course, but I really loved her performance of NASA. I guess that’s because it’s my favourite song off thank u, next. To be honest, lots of the songs were kind of a blur to me but in a good way: I couldn’t remember exactly how she did it because I was just so happy with singing and screaming at the top of my lungs. I hope that’s a good sign, though. Anyway. NASA was such a great performance and I honestly remember not being able to properly record a video of it because my phone’s camera is absolute crap and Ariana’s position onstage wasn’t strategic to mine. Still, I was like, f it I’ll sing my lungs out because that is what I want to do. I screamed so loud when she sang: “I’mma need space, I’mma need space”.

And also needy. I loved, loved, loved that song. needy is such a mood and I know it was a song of vulnerability but damn, I sang and screamed. It felt like pouring my heart out. I guess that’s exactly why thank u, next is my favourite Ariana album: it speaks to me. And when she sang, I know that she was singing what my heart felt, too. And it’s an amazing feeling.

Of course, no Ariana show would be complete without some sexy choreography, like in Side to Side and Into You. I sang and screamed but... mostly it was a blur. Again. I feel like because those songs are, so sorry to say this, generic provocative songs, it did not make me feel super connected or anything. It was fun to sing them and dance to them but wasn’t the most wow this is amazing OMG feeling. I did, however, enjoy break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored. Her vocals in that are amazing, oddly enough for that kind of song.

I also fell so much in love with R.E.M. I later found out it was at first a Beyonce song but Ariana made it a very, very lovely song. It’s actually very much like a lullaby and it’s such a sweet, sweet love song that sways your heart.

This has gone way, way too long (just like the intro of in my head, which wasn’t sung at the concert but used during an interval). Now. The grande finale: thank u, next. I recorded the whole performance and it actually made me feel rather emotional. I can’t possibly imagine singing the names of my exes every night for a year of touring, one of whom died of drug overdose and the other you thought you were going to marry. But Ariana sang it well. And again, I felt very connected to how she sang it. It’s not about whether you have as many exes as she does or anything: it’s about connecting on the understanding that you could take a lesson from the people in your past. And she closed the show with dances of love and pride.

So. I loved every second of it. It was worth every penny that I spent on it (though I would’ve loved if she’d sung for an extra 30 minutes lolz). It’s definitely something that I’ll remember for as long as I live, and I’m just ever so grateful that of all the places, I chose Sheffield and so did she, both in 2018. She delivered a beautiful, fun, entertaining performance and it was such an amazing way to close my postgraduate studies (sort of). It’s incredibly strong of her to embrace her vulnerability and create something that connects with others.

[oracles]

"kindaaaa wanna do this but i don't have enough kpoppies following me .. sad" *rubs hands together* alright here we go, challenge time. EXO, NCT, BTS, Red Velvet

kendra omg … I APPRECIATE YOU 😤💖 thank you! most of these will be under the cut probably

▷EXO

my first bias: kai. he was the first one that stood out to me in call me baby

your current bias and why: honestly i don’t really know. i love their music but don’t really stan the group like that. chanyeol maybe? he’s really talented and i admire that. perhaps kyungsoo for the same reasons

favorite song: oh boy …. they actually have a TON of amazing songs, so it’s really hard to pick. ‘promise’ and ‘sweet lies’ are just two examples of faves

favorite mv: i’m gonna be biased and say ‘call me baby’ since that was my first song that i heard by them (back when it came out too actually)

otp: i don’t ship members in groups, and also i feel like i don’t know the members well enough to say who has my favorite dynamic. maybe baekhyun/sehun?

member you think has the best smile: generally, i love all smiles but if i had to pick one … maybe i’ll be biased and say chanyeol?

favourite choreography: part of me wants to say call me baby since i’m biased, but overdose and growl are also pretty iconic

favorite era: call me baby. im 100% biased and what about it?

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i haven’t

favorite voice/singer: chen and kyungsoo, probably, if i had to pick

favorite dancer: kai

SEND ME A KPOP GROUP!

▷ NCT

my first bias: different from the first members i knew, but lucas

your current bias and why: if i had to pick one person, still lucas. frankly, lucas was the reason i really started properly stanning nct in the first place. i watched the knowing brothers episode he was on and i kinda caught feelings since then. he’s so kind-hearted and hard working while also making me laugh and being just a general ray of sunshine, i love he ;-;

favorite song: this is IMPOSSIBLE to choose … considering the fact that there’s so many subunits to the group too omg … but here’s just a few per unit (and by no means a complete list of my faves). ummm a few include limitless, the 7th sense, 1 2 3, la la love, dream launch, no longer, back 2 u, and like a Ton more

favorite mv: i have to say cherry bomb because it was the song that got me into them (musically) in the first place. i saw the teaser pics for cherry bomb and that was what got me intrigued

otp fave dynamic: there’s a lot to name (considering there’s 21 members) but can i just say that overall wayv is my emotional support nct unit

member you think has the best smile: i wanna say ALL of them, but because i know answers like this can get exhausting i will give a special shoutout to mr nakamoto yuta . the healing smile king himself

favorite choreography: idk why cherry bomb keeps coming to mind again, but the way that they did that death drop and the leg splitting move? im shaking so hard just thinking about it dhdbjdg baby don’t stop and boss also get special shoutouts bc im biased

favorite era: this is hard …. this being such a huge group makes things infinitely harder but some of my faves include: go (nct dream), boss (nct u), cherry bomb (nct 127) but i pretty much love them all, even though firetruck was … a mess stylistically

do you own any merchandise?: i don’t, but i’ve been thinking of getting an album or two someday. idk which one though

have you seen them live?: no, but i hope to one day! hopefully with envi

favorite voice/singer: all of vocal line? hghghdfg but i will give a special shoutout to jaehyun for absolutely hurting my feelings with ‘try again’ and his cover of a whole new world 

favorite dancer: ten and jisung

▷ BTS

my first bias: yoongi! the first significant foray i made into bts was actually having agust d sent to me by envi

your current bias and why: haters envi will say it’s hoseok and i will deny those rumors. im ot7 biased ONLY. if i had to narrow it down a bit, MAYBE i will let bein rapline biased slide. but honestly, all of the bts members are not only so amazingly talented but also good people in general so it makes it hard for me to put one person over the others bc it makes me feel bad (though i know there’s no reason to be, since having a bias doesn’t mean you like the other members any less)

favorite song: i absolutely cannot and will not pick just one song. but i will put it out there, for the record, that baepsae was the first song of theirs i heard so it’ll always be special to me for that reason

favorite mv: if i had to pick, i have a soft spot for spring day and blood sweat & tears

otp fave dynamic: because they’re a group with so much good synergy, i could name any duo, but from the beginning, i’ve been especially partial for yoonseok

member you think has the best smile: ALL of them but in the spirit of being less indecisive, special shoutout to hoseok and taehyung

favorite choreography: again, this is hard. in part bc suddenly my brain decides to go proper blank. it’s not my favorite per se, but baepsae deserves a spot here because of how hype that song and its choreo is till this day, years later

favorite era: run era will have a special place in my heart bc of the Looks but the sheer power that bs&t had ….. can she ever even be topped truly?

do you own any merchandise?: i do! officially, i have all of the love yourself albums (two are from kendra) and i have a bt21 mang doll (from envi). unofficially, i also have a 2018 bts desk calendar (also from kendra)

have you seen them live?: no, but one day i really hope i can!

favorite voice/singer: ALL . but if i remember in my early stanning days, i had a special spot for taehyung’s voice. if you listen to singularity, then you know

favorite dancer: hoseok (give him more choreo in the center) & jimin

▷  RED VELVET

my first bias: joy

your current bias and why: still joy, but rotating through all of the other members now as well except for wendy. i honestly don’t even know why joy is a bias, but i guess she just chose me (also me gay)

favorite song: there’s quite a few honestly. i can never really pick just ONE song for any group, unless i barely listen to them. two of theirs that i’ve been listening to quite a bit is ‘cause it’s you’ and ‘kingdom come’ 

favorite mv: peek-a-boo. it was my first music video/comeback with them and the concept of it really changed my life and was what motivated me into stanning them in the first place

otp fave dynamic: i’m biased so i just wanna say joy/seulgi. but also, i feel like while i listen to them a lot, i also am not super knowledgeable in the group’s dynamics to definitively say

member you think has the best smile: im biased so i’m saying joy. irene too bc she’s just so beautiful so how could i not

favorite choreography: not necessarily THE favorite one for me, but be natural’s choreo? i kinda felt that

favorite era: peek-a-boo, bad boy or red flavor. honestly probably some of their best recently comebacks as well. the others have fallen kinda flat for me

do you own any merchandise?: nope

have you seen them live?: i have not

favorite voice/singer: sad to say it .. but wendy has some pretty great vocals. also i really love seulgi’s voice

favorite dancer: seulgi, by far. her stage presence outsold as well

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

BTS Members as the Sons of Feanor

OH MY GOSH WHAT THE HECK

so @thelonelybrilliance just showed up late to the Silmarillion and new to BTS and she decided to break my brain by tagging me and @abadpoetwithdreams asking us if we could match up the 7 members of BTS with the 7 sons of Feanor. May she never ask such a question again because I have spent about 6 hours total writing this rant essay that is somewhere of abouts 3500 words. I don’t have the self-control to stop myself from things like this, I love Tolkien and BTS too much

anyway here is a very long and rambling post that was partially composed in my head in the shower and is now just stream of consciousness

(Disclaimer: The members of BTS are beautiful souls and this post is in no way saying that they are as murderous as my problematic faves the sons of Feanor)

ok so the only thing I know for ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN is that Namjoon is Maedhros. if you know anything at all about BTS and the Feanorians, the reasons are obvious:

1. Namjoon is the tallest, and Maedhros is literally called Maedhros the Tall.

2. Maedhros has a lot of names but he was called Maitimo by his mom which means “beautiful” or “well-shaped one” and such an appellation is perfect for Namjoon (ok let’s be real the name could fit every single member of BTS but whatever)

3. (and most important!) never was there a more harried elf trying to keep his brothers in line and alive and not cut to pieces by some justifiably insulted cousin or Sindarin. Maedhros is the mom, the dad, the king, the leader, the eldest bro. “Guys, can we NOT be rude to the sons of Finarfin, can we NOT start a war among the Noldor when we still have Morgoth just across the way” I’m pretty sure he would also lose his passport multiple times if Middle-earth had such things, because his brothers are hard enough to keep track of. while Namjoon may not be the eldest in years, everything else matches up too perfectly. He is the leader of BTS, the spokesman, the one who encourages the other members to step up and speak, helps them with their English (even when he judges them for their dumb mistakes lol), is literally SO DONE with his bros all the time but loves them so freaking much. He is the planner, the peace-maker, yet also has fire in his veins and has seen a lot of darkness and suffering and survived to become even stronger. So too with Namjoon

(caveat: if BTS were Feanorians, and Namjoon captured by Morgoth himself, there is no freaking way they wouldn’t have done SOMETHING to rescue their fearless leader. Jin and Jungkook would storm Thangorodrim fists swinging, followed by Jimin and J-Hope, fierce like you’ve never seen them, and Taehyung would Luthien Tinuviel Morgoth centuries early, or Yoongi would simply glare at Morgoth till he shrank down into a puddle of trembling goo. Don’t laugh at me you know I’m right)

moving on

I have maybe two choices for Maglor? One is Jin, but that might partially be because everyone always talks about how Namjoon and Jin are the mom and dad or dad and mom of BTS. and Maglor is always paired in my head with Maedhros as the other parental figure of the Feanorian bros, though that might be because of how he and Maedhros look after Elrond and Elros. Of course, I love Jin’s singing and I will never ever ever be over “Epiphany”, so I am way cool with making Jin Maglor as far as the music thing goes

All this said, I am not sure if this is the best fit overall. Jin is the King of Chaos in BTS, and I wouldn’t name Maglor as such...also I think I might have another Feanorian for Jin, but I’ll get to that later (spoilers, it’s...Curufin??!) (oh no, I just realized I might have one other argument for Jin being Maglor: “I use other people to make myself happy. I make myself smile by making others smile.” Like, that could be a good quote for Maglor potentially, if you want to relate it to his music, or his care for Elrond and Elros……..but I’m still thinking Curufin for Jin. Stay tuned)

So anyway my other option for Maglor would be...oh heck no I have two other options. No wait THREE. What the HECK. ok let me figure this out. The options are J-Hope, Yoongi, and Jimin. I’m not even sure why yet so let’s find out. (sidenote: if Maedhros did not exist Namjoon the song-writer would be Maglor, as the greatest poet and bard)

1.  J-Hope as Maglor: I don’t know, I had reasons but they are escaping me. Maglor is said to have had a gentler temperament than his brothers and I would say J-Hope has a very soft sunshine heart. I guess one thing is that Maglor was left to hold everybody together when Maedhros was captured by Morgoth, and if Namjoon was ever hung on a cliff for an indeterminate amount of time or whatever equals that in our world, J-Hope would step up. I keep seeing things about how he supports the other members when they are having tough times, giving them encouragement and food and love. He leads them in practicing dance choreography all the time, and if I remember I am pretty sure Namjoon actually stated that Hoseok would make a good group leader. 

Also one time Namjoon was talking about Hobi (oh shoot, should J-Hope of the many names be Maedhros of the many names? Lol maybe in that one universe where Namjoon is Maglor, then Hobi could could be Maedhros) Namjoon says that J-Hope is like water (where did Maglor toss his Silmaril again hmm?) and puts people at ease. Well idk about other people but Maglor seems to have put Elrond and Elros at ease because even after that whole Kinslaying thing “love grew between them as little might be thought.” I too would probably come to love J-Hope no matter the past between us. He is just that sweet and soft-hearted

2.  Yoongi as Maglor: ok honestly I really really actually want Yoongi for Caranthir, more on that later. However I also like Yoongi as Maglor because it is unexpected, yet certain things just feel right. I keep thinking about Yoongi’s “First Love” where he raps about how his PIANO was his first love (GOSH ISN’T THAT THE SWEETEST THING EVER) also in Lee Sora’s “Song Request” he raps this: “I’m happiness to someone and the soul to another / A lullaby to someone and at times a noise / I’ll be with you at your birth and your end / Remember we’re always together anywhere / I’ll always console your life / So just lean on me and rest sometimes” and LOOK I JUST DIED TYPING THIS but what I am getting at is music is burnt into Yoongi’s soul as I think it is Maglor’s, and Yoongi really is very soft and loving and also one time Namjoon said that Yoongi “makes me ponder about what kind of person I am” and Maglor several times is a voice of reason and very much tries to dissuade Maedhros from going after the Silmarils one last time. Idk it could work (but also...CARANTHIR) (BUT ALSO OMG YOONGI’S VOICE MURDERS ME WHEN HE RAPS AND HIS PASSION WOW AND NOW I AM PICTURING MODERN DAY MAGLOR RAPPING  OBLIQUELY ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND PAST AND PAIN UGGGGGGGHHHH

3.  Who was my other choice? Right, Jimin. Why did I say Jimin?? ? i don’t remember, dang it

Ok I think it is definitely time to do Caranthir.

As previously stated, I love Yoongi as Caranthir. I have my reasons personally I think they are very good reasons :D Ok Caranthir is WOW ok I am OFFENDED because I just went to double-check something on wikipedia and I typed Caranthir into the Google search engine and the first three results were all about this Caranthir dude from the Witcher, and while that game seems very interesting I am UPSET for Yoongi’s I mean Caranthir the Dark’s sake.

AHEM

Caranthir the Dark. What a name. I mean it might just be a reference to his father-name of Morifinwe and to his hair, but he is also described as being the harshest and quickest to anger. Yoongi, bless his soul and his actually very soft and squishy heart, is well known for: being unbothered by BTS general antics, for being the one to sit back and watch everyone else do dumb stuff (like when they were all dancing to MIC drop and he just walks away from them, or when they are all acting like kids jumping in the pool and he just watches with a smile on his face while drinking a glass of wine and look to me Caranthir is the one Feanorian who doesn’t pair up with anyone in particular, like we have Maedhros and Maglor, Celegorm and Curufin, Amrod and Amras, but Caranthir is the one who goes off and lives separate from them and

GOSH now I sound so dumb because I am NOT trying to say that Caranthir doesn’t love his bros or that Yoongi is a loner that is NOT what I am saying, agh I mean Caranthir is great (minus, you know, the kin-slayings the Feanorians sadly fall into) and even befriends Haleth’s people and protects them, t’s just this weird categorizing thing in my head, that Caranthir is the crusty brother, and while he loves his bros to DEATH and they him, the majority of his bros are sliiiiightly afraid of him, in a brotherly way, like how the members are with Yoongi! Like just recently oh what was it, they were on a BTS Run episode and someone had to splash or otherwise give Yoongi a penalty and right away everyone was like NAMJOON YOU DO IT. turning to the leader hyung because they don’t want Yoongi to be mad at them

Of course now I am remembering that one post of gifs demonstrating how Jungkook is the only one who can bother Yoongi without dying lol except NOW I am picturing Amrod the youngest Feanorian* being the only one who can bother Caranthir and then the ensuing PAIN because Amrod Umbarto (thanks for THAT name, Mom) perishes (in certain canon) in flames at the Burning of the Ships and wowwww no I do not need any of this pain

*SIDENOTE: AMROD IS THE YOUNGEST IN CERTAIN CANON WHICH CONFUSES THINGS A HECK OF A LOT SEE THE AMROD AND AMRAS SECTION BELOW

I’m pretty sure I have never rambled so much in my life and also pretty sure I have way too many parentheses and not all of them are closed oops

Anyway, imagine Caranthir as the brother you are afraid of but would die for and who would die for you if anyone looks at you wrong, the brother with the wry acerbic wit, but who LITERALLY LIGHTS UP THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS SMILE AND ALSO DOESN’T EXPRESS HIS LOVE ALOUD AS OFTEN AS SOME OF YOUR BROTHERS DO BUT

HE SECRETLY LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT AT TIMES AND ALSO SECRETLY LOVES PIGGY-BACK RIDES EVEN THO HE PROFESSES TO HATE THEM AND GIVES OUT WISE LIFE ADVICE TO HIS BROS AND HIS PEOPLE AND IS SUCH A SOFTIE FOR HIS BROS AND OCCASIONALLY SENDS ONE OF HIS BABY BROS LONG LETTERS WITH A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” AT THE END THAT HAS CELEGORM OR AMROD CRYING FOR TEN MINUTES (HAHAHA GUESS WHO I THINK TAEHYUNG WOULD BE)

Also someone has to be the best cook of the Feanorians and it might as well be Caranthir

….apparently I’m not done with Caranthir, because “the Dark” also makes me think of a dark horse, or at least something happening that is unexpected, and that reminds me of that interview where dad/mom/interpreter Namjoon was like yeah none of the other members can speak English, and then Yoongi just out of NOWHERE speaks a line of great English and Namjoon was like ….guess I was wrong

OKAAAAY WHERE ARE WE

I do not have very clear thoughts about who the rest of the members are so let’s just go with my brain and hope it makes some good connections

Let’s do Celegorm since I just mentioned him

Celegorm could be either Taehyung or….Jin? :? Merrr idk. Let’s examine

I think the main reason why I jump at the option of Tae for Celegorm is because of Tae’s love for his dog Yeontan, or Tan, and of course Celegorm is the master of Huan, and they had a very special relationship for ages until Celegorm f---ed up. Seriously, you want to see something cute? Look up Tae’s Vlive that is entirely focused on his lil pupper (what am I saying look up ANYTHING about Tae and you will find something cute)

On the other hand Jin could be Celegorm because Celegorm is known as the Fair and if you don’t know by now that Jin is World Wide Handsome I don’t know how I can help you

OMG WAIT I JUST THOUGHT OF OTHER REASONS WHY JIN COULD BE CELEGORM! So Celegorm’s father-name is Turcafinwë, which basically means “strong in body” and Jin has got those broad shoulders (gosh they are so broad). Also, Celegorm’s mother-name is Tyelkormo, or “hasty riser,” referring to his quick temper and habit of leaping when angered. And this doesn’t perfectly relate but the amount of times I have seen Jin yelling or just being wild in general or even just pretending to be mad makes me think of this. Also there was one time idk what was even going on but Jin was struggling to pronounce Bangtansonyeon-dan (SAME) and saying it was too long and difficult and J-Hope was teasing him and Namjoon told him not to get mad since he had been calling himself a fairy and shouldn’t be mad as such, and Jin was like hey I can be a mad fairy if I want lol

See now I am just confused because now I am looking back at Jin as Maglor and I might like that better? WHY IS THIS SO HARD

Speaking of Jin, and Celegorm, why on EARTH was I thinking of Jin for Curufin? Ugggh see my problem is I ran out of time last night and so I am finishing the essay some 20 hours later and I kNOW that when I was saying Jin should be Curufin I had a better reason then their names rhyme. Heck, I could make that same argument for Jimin as Curufin.

Except I also have a second and better argument for Jimin as Curufin, at least under the circumstance where Taehyung is Celegorm. Look, all the BTS members are really close with each other, and you can literally argue all day about who is closer to who (a really pointless waste of time in my opinion I mean why argue when you can just melt over them all being sweet and funny and kind and teasing with each other) but anyway all that aside one thing I love in particular is how sweet Jimin and Taehyung often are with each other, holding hands and comforting each other and being on teams in competitions *starts laughing at the memory of them being complete disasters that one cooking show* and anyway Celegorm and Curufin seem pretty inseparable, running around causing all kinds of trouble (guys sTOP). Jimin and Taehyung have called themselves soulmates, so it makes sense to have them be part of a duo

Not that Taehyung would engage in a kidnapping stunt like Celegorm did, but the point is, Jimin, the precious bby, has Tae’s back

Jimin: “Taehyung is the happiest when he is with me” aww

This has nothing to do with the point of this post but I just need to stop here and say that Jimin is so freaking talented I was just looking up some gifsets of him and obviously his singing is angelic but also OMGGG his dancing!!!

Ok, jumping back slightly, I guess one way Jin could be Curufin is if Jungkook is Celegorm, because I could see those beautiful dorks running around causing all kinds of trouble, except I really have no reason to have Jungkook be Celegorm, especially since he is very much Amras in my head for reasons

OOOH NO I also thought of a way in which Jungkook could be--wait for it--cURUFIN. WHY AM I LIKE THIS

You see, Curufin was his dad’s favorite son and thus Feanor gave his favorite son the exact same father-name Feanor had, Curufinwë, and Curufin is the only son who chose to use his father-name over his mother-name if I recall, and anyway all meaning he probably loved his dad a lot and was proud of his name, and this makes me think of how Namjoon gave Jungkook the title of the Golden Maknae and of how freaking much Jungkook looks up to and respects Namjoon (look while Namjoon is a hyung, he is also a dad figure, so he may as well be Feanor and Maedhros both)

I guess if Jungkook were Curufin, Jin could go back to being Celegorm

Aaaaggggh you do not know how much hair I have pulled out this is taking a lot of brainwork

FINALLY AT THE LAST TWO

We now present my exceedingly confused ramblings regarding the twins Amrod and Amras. Before we begin, let me SHAKE MY FIST AT TOLKIEN FOR MAKING THIS ESSAY EVEN MORE CONFUSING TO WRITE

See, I had Jungkook all set up in my head as Amras, the youngest son according to the Silmarillion. Jungkook is the maknae, the baby, and all the members DOTE on him and he loves them and respects them and pesters them and it’s great, so yeah Jungkook has to be Amras the baby of the Feanorians. I would then put Taehyung as Amrod, the just barely older bby who the other members also adore and protect. Jungkook and Taehyung are SO FREAKING CUTE whenever they are doing stuff together, whether it is singing or hugging or holding each other on their backs while they singing. When they goof off together or pester each other, they are the most precious, must dorkiest dorks to ever be my faves. Hence why I pair them together in my head as Amrod and Amras, at least the times when I am not pairing Tae with Jimin or Jungkook with Jin. Amrad and Amras seem as inseparable as Celegorm and Curufin, and they go off and live in some beautiful wild part of the land and basically stick to hunting and staying out of everyone’s business until they get reminded they took a stupid oath

EXCEPT then Tolkien has one alternate writing where the youngest is actually AMROD and Amrod dies at the burning of the ships because Feanor doesn’t know how to count his kids I guess (Namjoon you lost something again) (sorry that is a terrible joke) (but is it made slightly better by the fact that while Namjoon is apparently Feanor he is much more Maedhros, who was against the burning of the ships and did not participate?) so like this is where I started to get my third headache (exacerbated by the fact that I haven’t eaten dinner yet and it is 9 pm what is wrong with me) because then I have to make Jungkook Amrod and Taehyung Amras. It’s such a trial having to write both their names next to both Feanorians

On the other hand, an interesting thing to think about is that in this alternate writing, Amras was so aggrieved by his brother’s death that he called out Feanor--Feanor!--for being so dumb as to A. call or let his wife call their youngest by the name of Umbarto (the Fated) and then to B. accidentally let him perish in a fire that FEANOR started because he had a grudge (and I think Tolkien wrote that that Amrod was possibly sleeping on the ships because he was upset with Feanor for the terrible deeds he was committing, so like, double way to go Feanor)

I am really tired and hungry my head hurts

What am I missing?

I like Taehyung and Jungkook best for Amrod and Amras a lot BUT if I were doing one of the other options above, I could see having the follow lineup:

Jin=Celegorm, Jungkook= Curufin, Jimin=Amrod, Taehyung=Amras

In this instance, I could see Jimin and Tae as either Amrod or Amras no matter which one is older. Taehyung could definitely be the bby and do his own thing but could also be the brother who mourns his brother and calls out Feanor. Actually though Jimin while being young and precious gives me more of an older brother vibe than Taehyung does, so I guess I would have Jimin be the elder of the twins. Yes, that makes more sense

UGH but wait if I put Jimin and Tae as Curufin and Celegorm, I could put Jungkook back as youngest bby Amrod or Amras, but would Jin fit into the older twin role? Maaaaybe, if you just think about Jungkook and Jin heading off by themselves and goofing off...I don’t like it as much though

Possibilities So Far

Maedhros: Namjoon, maybe J-Hope?

Maglor: Jin, J-Hope, Yoongi, maybe Namjoon

Caranthir: Yoongi

Celegorm: Taehyung, Jin

Curufin: Jimin, Jungkook

Amrod: Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin

Amras: Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin

……………………….

I have spent five minutes now trying to figure out possible final line-ups but it’s all a mess

I  LITERALLY CAN’T THINK ANYMORE

I DECLARE THIS ESSAY/RANT HAS COME TO AN END

PLEASE CHELSEA SEND HELP!

WHAT AM I MISSING/HAVE WRONG? IS THERE A BETTER SPOT FOR J-HOPE? SHOULD SOMEONE ELSE BE CARANTHIR? COULD JIN BE A CARANTHIR IN SOME WAY?? (I THINK I COULD HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT BUT I AM TOO TIRED TO THINK THEM)

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[thisvaryingexistence]

BE MORE CHILL EXPERIENCE

Alright so I was never gonna do this, but after seeing everyone else’s and wanting to remember every moment forever, I am going to rant for a bit!

For starters, I live literally 10 miles away from the theatre and I was excited to go of course, but I had no idea how good it was going to be. Before the show, I had only been obsessed with ‘Michael in the Bathroom’ for half a year and didn’t branch out to the other songs. I didn’t listen to any before the show.

I went with my sister and her friend. We got there an hour early and quickly bought shirts, took pictures in front of the Exit 82 sign, and got drinks. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY had the biggest smile on their face. I saw so many Michaels in the crowd and everybody just seemed so friendly!

Alright so we go into the theatre, which by the way, beautiful. We were in the mezzanine on the right side and the view was still amazing. No matter what seat you got, you were guaranteed to get an amazing show.

Now to the people sitting next to us...

So the three of us were in the middle of the row and my sister and I had open seats next to us. We prayed to get respectful people. :)

The lights dim. A lady and her friend sit next to me and I’m like alright this is fine she seems oka- *INSTANT SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS* and I was like of course. Also she had really curly hair that she would flip and I was like... but she wasn’t bad.

MY SISTER on the other hand.

A group of 4, 2 CHILDREN and their parents, stand up from their seats being told they were in our row. The drunken father proceeds to sit next to my sister and wow boy.

He got up about 40 minutes in and stepped on our friend’s foot. While remaining on said foot, he goes, “I’m sorry I stepped on your foot.” We all had to stand up and let his drunk ass stumble out. When he comes back, he proceeds to ask the friends to my right, myself, and my actual friend if he stepped on our feet as the show is still going on. We were like KEEP MOVING. It was actually pretty funny I wasn’t bothered just amused. Side note, his youngest kid had to have been like 10 and the mother must have not known what the play was about because she had this look :O on her face THE WHOLE TIME. (Especially when it opens with a masturbation scene)

ANYWAY THE ACTUAL PLAY!

I. I am trying to put it into words.

As I said in the beginning, I hadn’t listened to 99% of the songs I wanted to go in partially blind.

Song #1 More Than Survive: First off, the actor playing Jeremy looks like an actual high schooler. I cute, nerdy, guy I loved him. The vocals were amazing, and the other people on stage rocked too! *Also, when Michael and Jeremy showed their backpacks with “Boyf” “Riends” I thought the audience was having a stroke.

Song #2 I Love Play Rehearsal: Christine can sing AMAZINGLY. She is super super cute as well! At some point with her and Jeremy she kind of goes ADFKJASDFJASKFJASDFASF on him and the whole crowd was laughing so hard it was great!

Song #3 The Squip Song: It’s from Japaaaaaaaaaannnnn. I laughed to entire time!

Song #4 Two Player Game: CUTE CUTE CUTE OMG. One of my favorite scenes of the night. Michael in general is my fave and whenever he showed his face the crowd lost it. But the two of them playing the game and singing was incredible! Their song was better than the original cast version and now I am sad I can’t listen to theirs. “CAUSE GUYS LIKE US ARE COOL IN COLLEGE” I was swaying in my seat. *Michael went: “Favorite pwerson and dropped his head on Jeremy’s should and my heart felt so happy.

Song #5 Be More Chill: The Squip. I joke with this term but literally the second he showed up my friend and I were like: Daddy. He was hot. And his voice was BUTTER. Moving on, the song is another one of my favorites. I think it is partially due to the Squip’s voice in general again it just blew my mind! Again, better than the original cast.

Song #6 Do you Wanna Ride?: Pretty good, wasn’t my favorite. Actress was good tho.

Song #7 Be More Chill Part 2: (insert comment from #5 I love Squip)

Song #8 More Than Survive Reprise: I literally can’t say enough how good the singing is in this. I want a Soundtrack version for THIS CAST.

Song #9 A Guy That I’d Kind of Be Into: Beautiful. Christine, the choreography, Jeremy. Everything was just so beautiful. One of my favorites AGAIN. The girl who played Christine also has an amazing voice and I fell in love with it in this song. Also when she goes ....Jake the entire audience gasped.

Song #10 Upgrade: Michael: Don’t leave me alone once you have Squip! Jeremy: *does* Me: Sad

~Intermission with drunken dad and family getting up AGAIN~

Song #11 Halloween Party: The costumes were hilarious and kind of reminded me of a calmer party in “Mean Girls” “Everyone is a slutty kitty; so I am a slutty doggy! I’ll fetch!!”

Song #12 Do You Wanna Hang?: Ugh. The song and voices itself were fine, but I really just can’t stand that character. As you can see, I don’t even remember her name.

Song #13 Michael in the Bathroom: THE MOMENT I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR. When Jeremy pushes Michael and calls him a loser, everyone GASP and went silent. FOR THE WHOLE SONG. It was obvious it was the favorite and everyone wanted to listen to it perfectly. Everyone was the most silent for this. The actor was incredible. Voice was beautiful and he was cracking half way through, literally singing half sob. I could listen to him sing it for hours.

Song #14 The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set a Fire): Not one of my favorite songs, but nice costumes! And singing was good.

Song #15 The Pitiful Children: I LOVED THIS SONG. AGAIN, the Squip. That sexy voice I loved it. Also, it was pitch black and everyone had light up shoes?! AMAZING I WAS IN LOVE! And just the way he said “Let’s save the pitiful children!” I was floored. Another song I like better than the original. GET ME A CD OF THIS CAST GDI.

Song #16 The Pants Song: This was a sweet song. Jeremey’s dad made me sad. But it was amusing him going to Michael and talking about his pants and how much his son needs him.

Song #17 The Play: Amazing again. Christine was pure.

Song #18 Voices in my Head: Beautiful ending. When Jeremy and Christine kissed everyone was clapping. When he was in the hospital and his dad came in with his pants everyone gasped and cheered. I was thankful.

Taking Bows: I just screamed so loudly. People were standing from the start they deserved so much appreciation and praise.

The play was breathtaking. I immediately left wanting to come back tomorrow and buy a CD with these people. I was also so sad because now I can only listen to the music, and I just WANT TO KEEP SEEING IT HAPPEN LIVE!

Thank you New Jersey you produced a great thing!

Some lines that I loved:

Jeremy: *THROWING HIMSELF AROUND ON STAGE WHEN THE SQUIP WAS CONTROLLING HIM I WAS WORRIED FOR HIM BUT ALSO RIDICUOUSLY IMPRESSED*

Michael: “Am I really your favowite pwerson”

Drama teacher: “HOT POCKET BREAK!”

Jake: “I don’t want to do any circular activities! I just want to be with you!”

Christine: “NAHDHFAOSDFOASFOJADFOJADF”

Rich: “I am totally BI” (I thought I was gonna lose hearing people lost their shit)

Before the play on the big screen: Tweet: “Scream if you have no will to live” (INSTANT SCREAMING)

THE COSTUMES!! I LOVED THEM ALL! THE SQUIP WITH WIRES AND GLOW UP WAS !!! AND WHEN HE STOOD ABOVE THE FLOOR AND WALKED IN SYNCH WITH JEREMEY TO CONTROL HIM!! JEREMY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB ACTING LIKE HIS BODY WAS BEING CONTROLLED!

This goes for the stage sets too! The glowing ropes everyone had for the song and the wires coming from the roof. PERFECT!

Squid people: “All sales are final” (sinister feeling creeps up spine)

Rich: “It is from Japaaaaaaaan!”

Squip: “Jeremy did you knoichiwa? *Japanese* I don’t work when you drink alcohol Jere- *random Japanese*”

Christine: “My squip looked like Hillary Clinton”

IN ALL:

I LOVE IT. I WANT TO SEE IT EVERYDAY FOREVER. IT IS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL AND I LIKE THE VOICES/ACTORS BETTER TOO!

[jae-bummer]

Eyes on You

Request: Omg can you please do 20 with Mingyu?🙏🏽 btw your writing is amazing❤️

20) Your bias takes care of you as a trainee

Prompt list can be found HERE! 

Member: Seventeen’s Mingyu x Y/N

Type: fluff

You stifled a yawn as you continued to stare at the computer screen before you. Clicking halfheartedly at the mouse, you shot a side eye to the piano in the corner. Grumbling to yourself, you began to scoot your office chair in it’s direction, and placed your hands on the weathered keys. Maybe if you didn’t look at the song you were attempting to compose, it would give you enough inspiration to actually compose it. 

You flipped on the keyboard and began to plunk lazily at the ivories. You chewed on your lip, unsure of what time it was or if it was even worth going to sleep at this point. In general, when you sequestered yourself in a practice room, you felt forgotten anyhow, so the other trainees surely weren’t missing you. They were probably all trying to catch a few hours of sleep themselves. 

The feeling of restlessness surged across your skin and made you anxious. You didn’t want to leave the safety of your studio, but you also didn’t want to sit and stare at your work any longer. There was a tight feeling in your chest, something similar to hopelessness as you gazed at the items surrounding you. Maybe this wasn’t exactly what you had imagined when you decided to become an idol. 

Pledis wasn’t the most natural choice for you when you began your journey into music. You originally had set your sights on one of the big three, but after being turned away enough times, you would join anywhere that would have you. The company wasn’t necessarily known for their stunning treatment of trainees, but you hadn’t quite anticipated the hard road they would send you venturing down. 

Sometimes you wondered if it was even worth it. 

Your stomach gurgled with hopes of food in the future, but all you could do was sigh. You had eaten convenience store ramen so many times in the past few days that it had begun to taste like cardboard. You weren’t really sure if it was giving you enough energy to practice anyhow. 

You jumped as you heard a loud thud behind you, disturbing you from your thoughts, and causing you to swivel and nearly fall from your chair. 

“Ah, sorry,” a tall boy hummed, his body halfway into your studio space. “I...uh...thought this room was empty. I’m-”

“Mingyu,” you croaked, clutching your chest. “I think you’ve introduced yourself to me about thirty times since I’ve signed my contract.” 

“Have I?” he chuckled nervously. He attempted to lean suavely against the doorframe, but instead missed and nearly fell over. “Funny, I remember meeting you, but can’t remember if I had actually introduced myself.” 

“Oh yeah,” you nodded. “You have. You stepped on my foot the first time. During the third or fourth you almost head-butted me when you bowed. Then there was the time you almost spilled my ramen all of your crot-”

“Yeah, I can’t seem to remember any of those,” MIngyu said quickly, his face turning a bright red. “Actually, are you sure that was me? Sounds much more like Vernon or maybe uh...”

“Nope, fairly certain it was you,” you smirked. You couldn’t lie, the small crush Mingyu seemed to harbor toward you was adorable. You hadn’t really thought much on it as you were busy trying to sort out your other priorities, but it was definitely nice to have the attention of an attractive man. 

“I guess you can’t forget this handsome face, huh?” he winked, sliding his tongue across his bottom lip. 

“Or maybe it was the possible assault,” you laughed. 

“Assault is a heavy word,” he gasped. “Perhaps...uh...friendly mistakes?” 

“Friendly mistakes that could have ended in a broken nose or third degree burns,” you grinned. “But really that’s just aesthetics anyhow.” 

“Aesthetics,” Mingyu sighed. “Isn’t that how we make our money though? The moneymakers.” He pointed up to his face and grinned. 

“Maybe that’s how you make your money, but I’m banking on what little talent I have,” you grumbled, turning back around in your chair so you wouldn’t have to face him. You knew he was joking, but the thought still made you sad. You had wondered if your “look” was the reason why you hadn’t gotten into some companies and were placed in others. You hated how visually focused the entertainment industry could be. You just wanted to make music. 

“Little talent?” Mingyu coughed. You heard him shuffle into the small room and close the door behind him. You glanced over your shoulder to see he was now leaning against the door with his arms crossed. “What do you mean ‘with what little talent you have?’ I know you’re dancing in front of a mirror, so you have to see how good you are there. And you listen to playbacks of your performances, so you have to hear that too. And I mean...you’ve seen your face everyday for like however many years now, so you know you’re beauti-”

“You have to say that,” you muttered, turning around again. “You’re my sunbae. You have to give a speech about how we have to continue to keep the art alive, and how I should embrace my own strengths and talents, and-”

“As you’re sunbae, yes, I should probably tell you all of those things,” he sighed. “But will I? Probably not. I suck at inspirational stuff. So if that’s what you’re looking for, I can probably grab Joshua or something?” 

“While Jisoo being Jisoo is always appreciated,” you hummed. “It’s kind of nice to not have a conversation about how I’ll find myself as an artist.” 

“Why do you have to find yourself?” he asked, furrowing his brows. “Are you lost?” 

“Well, that’s a loaded question,” you mumbled. 

“I was talking about more in the physical sense, but I’m guessing you aren’t,” Mingyu chuckled. “Why are you lost?” 

“You don’t have to take pity on me,” you groaned, trying to ease your way out of the conversation. “It’s really nice that you’re sitting in here and talking to me, but I knew you were on your way to compose or practice or whatever. You don’t have to listen to me being an ungrateful trainee.” 

“I don’t have to do anything,” MIngyu smiled. “And it’s three in the morning. I had a purpose when I came down here, and practicing wasn’t one of them.” 

“Then what was it?” you asked, lifting your brows. 

“I’ll tell you,” he nodded. “If you tell me why you’re feeling lost. Deal?” 

You rolled your eyes and tried to keep a groan from escaping your mouth. The old, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours first, trick. You leaned forward and began to clear your coat and a few notebooks from the small piano bench sitting before the keyboard. 

“At least sit down if you’re going to pretend to be my therapist.” 

“Aigoo,” Mingyu whined. He crossed the room in a few short steps and plopped onto the bench. “You’re the worst.” 

“Great comment for my self esteem, sunbae,” you chuckled. “You should probably work on your pep talks.” 

“Hey, I told you I could bring Jisoo in,” he grinned. “Maybe Jeonghan if you want some backhanded compliments.” 

“I’m thoroughly convinced both aforementioned parties would skin you alive if you pulled them out of bed a three am,” you nodded. “Which brings us back around to the question at hand. Why are down here so late?” 

“Why do you feel lost?” he countered. 

“I’m sure,” you hummed. “When you were a trainee. You wondered if this whole thing was meant for you...didn’t you?” 

“I think everyone does,” Mingyu agreed. “But it’s not the experience of a trainee that stops us. Rather, the determination to be a musician moves us forward. One outweighs the other.” 

“I’m just...going through that struggle,” you grumbled. 

“Well have you been eating well?” he asked, instantly furrowing his brows. “A clear mind and a full stomach can make a difference.” 

“Food can be scarce at times,” you said quietly. “We all make due.” 

“I’m not hear to help you ‘make due,’“ Mingyu croaked. “You called me your sunbae multiple times. Let me treat you as one. Let me take you out for food.” 

“That’s not necessary,” you instantly countered, shaking your head. You sat in silence for a moment, just as perfect timing struck and sent your stomach growling. You winced at the noise and looked up at Mingyu through squinted eyes.

“Right,” he grumbled. “Not necessary. It doesn’t have to be now, but I want to take you out more. Let me help you with your choreographies, with your lyric writing. Let me take care of you.” 

“Is that why you’re down here?” you whispered. “To keep an eye on me?”

You felt soft for a moment, allowing the sentiment in Mingyu’s actions to touch your heart. But without skipping a beat, you felt your stomach begin to tie itself in knots. You weren’t sure if it was the hunger or the slight annoyance causing the feeling, but you were irked at the thought. You didn’t need anyone to keep an eye on you. You didn’t need anyone to take care of you. You had gotten this far on your own. 

“Keep an eye on you?” he croaked. “You have enough eyes on you. I have actually been watching you though.” 

“Mingyu,” you whispered, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Isn’t keeping an eye on me...the same thing as watching me?” 

“Nope,” he smiled. “Keeping an eye on you insinuates I’m having to babysit you. Watching you means...well besides it sounding pretty creepy, watching you means I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you. I haven’t been able to keep my mind off you, really.” 

“Oh...oh,” you whispered. Taken off guard, this was the last thing you expected him to admit. You thought you would continue on in shy exchanges for at least a few more months to come before he would say something like this. “Is...is that right?”

“I don’t like hearing that you feel lost,” Mingyu sighed. “I want you to feel like you belong...right here.” 

He leaned forward and placed his hand lightly on top of yours, gliding his thumb gently across your knuckles. The small gesture made your stomach nearly drop to your toes. 

Just as quickly as he had offered his touch, he had taken it away and grinned. “Now will you let me help you? Practice at least? And maybe the occasional dinner?” 

“Well...” you hummed, tapping your chin. “I guess if you have to...” 

“I have to,” he nodded. “And I will. I promise.” 

[igotbangtanvelvet]

Best K-Pop Comebacks of 2017 (January-June)

As a connoisseur of k-pop, I stan many-a-group, and am fond of countless other groups’ music as well in the k-pop industry. When thinking back over the last several months, it has come to my attentions that this year has been amazing as far as comebacks go (so far). Though I am excited to see what the year brings in it’s second half, I’m going to list my favorites of 2017 (January-June). 

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BTS - NOT TODAY 

These boys never fail to bring the heat. This dance performance was perfection and their live stages didn’t disappoint. My bias group never lets me down. The first time I saw this video, I don’t think I breathed the whole time. Jungkook, my bias, WHY ARE YOU SO STUNNING. And Hoseok. And Taehyung. And literally everyone. GAH. They need to stop being so perfect. Actually, please don’t. LOVE YOU UGHUEHBEHJTbaeRwhkejy

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iKON - BLING BLING 

It’s been a while since iKON has made a comeback, and I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISSED THEM UNTIL THIS HAPPENED. This song is fire. Such a jam. Definitely the most hype song of 2017 so far. Very Bang Bang Bang. YG just kills it when it comes to charisma on stage. All of them are so natural. P.S. Still not gonna call them their new stage names. They will always be Donghyuk, Jinhwan, Yunhyeong, and Chanwoo tbh ;) 

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NCT 127 - Limitless 

The performances by all of the NCT groups have impressed me from the beginning, but this one left me IN AWE. The choreography is some of the most complex I’ve seen in k-pop in a long time, and they all shine in different ways. Guys... JOHNNY DEBUTED!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY :) #SMRookiesStanFerLyfe 

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Rookie - Red Velvet 

Favorite girl group + catchy song + difficult choreo + killer vocals = HEAVEN. At first, I thought the song was a bit annoying/repetitive, but it definitely grew on me and has quickly become one of my favorite songs from their red concepts. To me, Seulgi stood out in this comeback (but I’m biased), but each of them look gorgeous and have improved SO MUCH (like YERI.... VOCALS WOW!) Can’t wait for their next comeback... Until then, I’ll just watch/listen to Rookie on repeat forever. 

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  TWICE - Knock Knock 

Cute dance. Cute clothes. Cute concept. I can’t help but love the girls of Twice! All of them look adorable in this comeback, particularly Chaeyoung and Mina. Their vocals are also improving a lot. I’m a proud ONCE and their hard work is paying off! 

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K.A.R.D - Don’t Recall 

I remember when I found out that a co-ed group was debuting last year, I was ecstatic! They definitely did not disappoint me. They are able to create such unique concepts and this comeback was so fun to watch and gets stuck in my head 24/7. Love. 

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Beautiful - Monsta X

The first time I watched a Monsta X video, I remember saying, “Oh my gosh, he’s so cute. Okay he is too. WHAAAAAT?!?! ARE THEY ALL VISUALS?!?!?!?” Now they have a song with a name that encompasses these boys as a group. ;) What can I say? Their dancing rocks, Jooheon and I.M slay as rappers, and everyone else kills in this performance vocally and visually. And my bias Wonho is lookin’ incredible. Much wow. A+ boys. 

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PRISTIN - WEE WOO 

Upon first listening to the song, I was not thoroughly impressed, but it quickly became one of those songs I just kept listening to, and before I knew it, I was hooked. I like Pristin. I can’t say I stan them yet, but I can see me getting to that point. At this point, my bias is Kyla, and she needs more love! They all slay. Yay Pristin! 

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   TWICE - Signal 

I know, Twice is back again. I already said some about them, but I had to mention this comeback because it is SO different from the rest of their songs... BUT I LOVE IT! Quickly fell in love with the upbeat and fun song and the dance (which has a lot of complicated parts compared to their other dances). LOVE LOVE LOVE TWICE! 

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Seventeen - Don’t Wanna Cry 

I became a fan of Seventeen last year, as I was immediately captivated by their stunning choreography and charming stage presence. As I joined late and was super behind in the fandom, I learned a lot later on. Though I knew Hoshi had done choreography for the group before, when I read the article about him choreographing all of their songs, including their newest song, I watched this video and legitimately started sobbing. This is some of the best choreography in k-pop currently, and HOSHI NEEDS MORE RECOGNITION FOR BEING PERFECT AND SO INCREDIBLY GIFTED. I can’t express more love for this song and choreo. Wow. Just wow. 

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Sistar - Lonely 

Sadly, this year, we are saying ‘farewell’ to the Queens of Summer, vocals, and visuals of k-pop. I will truly miss Sistar’s stunning performances and the amazing ride it has been being their fan. Truly legends. I don’t know how to express my thanks, but you mean so much to your fans, Hyolyn, Dasom, Bora, and Soyou. #SistarForever 

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GOT7 - Never Ever 

If you’ve been here before, you know I would never forget my babies GOT7. Aghases seem to be scarcer than they used to me, but GOT7 has been one of my favorite groups since the beginning. This year has been an amazing one for comebacks, but Never Ever left me in awe of this spectacular group. From the stunning improvement by the rappers, to the complex choreography, to their overwhelming charisma and stage presence, this comeback only reaffirmed my love for these boys. Honestly, every time I choose a bias, my list is completely destroyed. I don’t think I’ll ever keep a bias in GOT7, but I am strangely okay with that. Keep slaying, my boys. 

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Now, that’s all for now. But, we have SO MUCH MORE to look forward to in 2017.... New comebacks from NCT, Monsta X, BLACKPINK, MAMAMOO, U-KISS, Infinite, Girls’ Generation (10th anniversary!!!!), Super Junior (OMG!!!), PRISTIN, Taeyang (BIGBANG), EXO(!!!!!), and RED VELVET!!! 

Can’t wait. 

[abhordelano]

thoughts about tonights episode (the kardashian musical):

First of all, I’m going to say my predictions for the episode before it aired. I thought that Alexis, Cynthia, or Peppermint were either going to win or be top 3 because it was a musical (I didn't know it was a lip sync at first), and I figured Eureka would go home (or Farrah if she has to lip sync)

Wow I could tell Eureka was going home the moment they started talking about her injury because I remember reading a rumor on Reddit that someone leaves because of an injury (gagged because we all thought it was gonna be Charlie.......yall got me there bitch!). 

Also when she apologized to Val and Sasha: to me, I think the producers wanted Eureka to do that, but I hope she comes forward and says that she really meant it. But to me, that scene/edit made me think that the producers wanted her to tie up lose ends so that she could leave the show without being hated by the fanbase (its good that they're doing that though, btw)

Wow that musical concept was.........a Choice. However, even though the kardashians are the least talented ppl in showbiz right now, I honestly appreciate the campiness of the musical, like they kept it relatively on brand for the show and the clan, I think (I dont watch KUWTK, so i can't verify that for sure)

I thought Peppermint, Sasha, and Trinity were all kind of forgettable in the performance for me. Like they were just kinda meant to be thrown into the background for this episode in general (which I guess could be understandable because they were at the foreground of the previous challenge). I wonder if this is also because of the show’s structure (I can't make any valid suggestions on how to improve this, because theres a matter of time constraints both in filming and in airtime that I bet were very hard to navigate for the writers)

I’m happy Peppermint was in the top this episode, but now I’m worried that some of her basic fashion choices will cost her the chance at going even further in the competition. I’m certain that she will win at least one challenge, and that maybe she’ll turn out at least one lip sync before she goes.

Speaking of forgettable performances, I completely forgot about everyone when miss Shea Coulee came on as Blac Chyna and totally STOLE. THE SHOW. Bottom line, cut and dry, she killed it! I can see why Nina was so bitter about not being able to play that part.

The runway.....im still a little salty that they're cutting these runways short, but bless Logo for running the full runway reel on their website (I hope they do that for the rest of these shorter runway presentations). I wasn't totally impressed with the looks this runway, I think the only standouts in my opinions were Shea, Nina, and Sasha. The concept was cute though, I hope PETA is screaming ferociously somewhere in the distance.

I could’ve sworn Alexis was gonna be the clear winner, because of how spot-on her soccer mom Kris Jenner was (though I'm not gagging over “mom-ager”, I think Alexis is gonna try way too hard to make bad catchphrases happen #SubwayFish?). However, as soon as Michelle read her for having a basic ass outfit, I done knew that she was gonna be just safe (omg thats 5 episodes straight of being just safe, girl.....)

miss Shea (Slay) Coulee already won 2 challenges just before Snatch Game, I think that means she's pretty much guaranteed to be in the top 3 (though in my opinion, this means she's already gonna win the damn competition)! I really hope the producers dont fuck with her edit before the finale, but I wouldnt take it upon them to do so in order to make us think that someone else has a shot at winning.

Not surprised at who's on the bottom here (they're all bottoms). Cynthia didnt know the words and Farrah was boring and lacking in personality (though, in my opinion, she deserves credit for being very well in character....)

That lip sync......was not great, but I really believe that it was better than the editing made it out to be. If the camera work had maybe shown more of each queen getting into some of their best choreography and face-serving, it might have looked better to us (the viewers).

I was kind of shook when a producer went up to Ru and then Ru got up and came back. Thats when I knew that something was fucked up....my first thought was that someone was disqualified again, but then I remembered that Eureka was on crutches the whole episode, and I kind of knew that Ru was gonna send her home for it...

Im glad that they let Eureka down easy with this elimination, and Im sure her image is gonna be better off than it was the previous episode, but in all honestly I’m not gonna be super psyched to see her on Season 10. I mean, I’m not gonna object, but I’m just not sure thats gonna go well (hopefully, I’m wrong though, I love it when the show proves me wrong!)

I’m really excited for Snatch Game next week!!