#the way liv took care of kathy
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This episode is even better than I remember. A case that hits too close to home. An intense 12-minute scene after a car accident. Whew. My heart was in my throat the whole time. Wonderfully acted. Every micro expression perfectly encapsulating the characters' states of mind.
With the benefit of having watched chronologically since the pilot, I feel like I have more insight into their characters... and their relationships. I don't know if it's the choice of Mariska to play her this way, but Olivia is very clearly in love with Elliot. The way she looks at him throughout that hospital scene with tears in her eyes... especially her expression when he hugged her...
S9E9 "Paternity"
#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu#olivia benson#elliot stabler#benson and stabler#bensler#i love them so much#the hug#paternity#i love kathy too she's the best wife ever and elliot did not deserve her#the way liv took care of kathy#i feel sick#her love for him#my heart hurts
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Courage Under Fire | Pre War Part 2 | Band of Brothers
masterlist
part one
@ohnoitsthebat | @prettyinpayne | @marycorleone
word count 2,664
Two
August 1941
South Philly
Eve Jenkins ran her sweaty palms down the material of her skirt again before she crossed the street to the Stewart household, Bill had just left her house a few minutes prior having told him that Bobby and Olivia along with Marla were indeed back and that she should try and make her peace with them too. It hadn't gone well for him and it probably wasn't going to go well for her either. For almost 15 months, she had been reliving the moment that Olivia found out that she and Bill had been together and how quickly she went from the sweet caring Liv, that they both knew and loved to a hardened version of herself. Her answers were curt and straight to the point and when Eve had tried to touch her to help shake her out of the trance she seemed to be in, she got slapped for it. By the time she and Bill got over their shock, Olivia had returned home and Bobby was playing guard dog protecting her.
It just wasn’t her that got hurt, it was also him, Bobby and Eve had slowly started forming a relationship, and it was snuffed out as quick as it started. But Bobby rarely cared about his own feelings, and when he did, he handled them similarly to how Olivia did, keeping things to themselves until something made them explode. And right as they were leaving to go to the train station, Bobby lost his cool and said some things that really cut both her and Bill deeply, mostly because of their prior friendship.
"You have a lot of guts coming here." Olivia's voice came shaking her out of her thoughts, the blonde was standing in the front doorway barefooted. The bright smile that was on her face faded when she met her eyes. "Liv, I just want to talk."
"Talk? You could have talked to me 15 months ago! You could have talked to me before you slept with Bill and broke my heart!" The pace of her voice never changed but the volume did and it caused two of her older brothers to come into the hallway.
"Liv." Evelyn started again but was cut off by James grasping his sister's elbow and pulling her back into the house. Daniel, the second eldest brother, who had lucked out with a pass from the Marines, stood close by, an almost thunderous look on his face. And for the third time, Evelyn regretted everything.
The Stewarts had all but taken her, Bill, and several others into their family, no questions asked. And she and Bill burned them. All because they couldn’t keep their hands and ideas to themselves.
"I will get your stuff Liv, just stay with the kids." Olivia looked at her brother and then at her former friend before nodding her head and going back into the house to Daniel who was ready to tell her another story about his deployments and some of the boys he had met while in training.
"You know this isn't going to do any good, you trying to talk to her. She shut down on Bobby and Marla for days after they left. You two destroyed her. And just because she is back doesn't mean you can come in and destroy everything again."
Eve had the sense enough to look guilty.
"We never meant to hurt her, Jimmy. Or Bobby. Things just seemed to happen.”
James laughed bitterly and folded his arms, “But you did.” He glanced over her head at the man in a postal uniform. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, I have a package for Olivia Stewart.” With raised eyebrows, the older sibling took the package from him before laughing. Lewis Nixon, their aunt Helen’s cousin, favored the twins. He was sure if Lewis hadn’t been with Kathy, and Olivia wasn’t still a minor, they would have been together. But he learned early on that Olivia never did anything he expected her to. And Lewis knew that the twins and Marla were going back to Philly and knowing Lewis he probably sent Olivia, a bottle of Vat. 69, Hershey bars, and a piece of jewelry to add to her growing collection.
And honestly, if James had his way, she would be the one going down to Arizona in December to get married to him. "Who is that from?" Eve tried to peek at the label on it, but all she saw was the 17th Street address and Olivia's name and that was it. "Don't worry about it." He tucked the package under his arm and went down the steps to pull the carry all that Olivia was after down.
**
"There's our little bambina." Augusta Guarnere exclaimed later that afternoon, they had come over to Stewart's house for Sunday dinner, a tradition that was started when James Sr moved in with his 8 kids and Augusta realized that he was single and raising the kids by himself. Even though they didn't have much to share they still helped out until James got on his feet fully.
"Hey Mama G. '' Olivia smiled, letting the woman enfold her into a hug, she had been forced to come downstairs by her stepmom Andie. "It's good to see you," Augusta commented as she pulled back and patted her cheeks. She had hoped and prayed that Olivia and Bill would have gotten together again but he insisted that he wanted to be with Evie. To her, Olivia was perfect for her baby boy, and not even Bill’s repeated statements that it was over were going to change her mind.
"Too skinny though. Did you not eat out there?"
"She did." Bobby commented as he came into the kitchen and rescued his sister from Mrs. Guarnere's clutches, "She just ate less. Taking care of Grandfather took a lot of her time up."
There was one thing that Bobby Stewart was good at and that was lying and making them up on the spot. So much so that their uncle Finn told him he should become a politician. And he prided himself on that. In all reality for the first 6 months that they had been in Charleston, Olivia barely ate, she was so focused on Fredrick and Grace who passed in their third week there that she forgot about herself and her heartbreak. It wasn't until a visit from their Uncle Michael and Aunt Helen that they all realized that she was even smaller than before.
Augusta nodded her head and shooed them out of the kitchen, insisting that they didn't need to help with cooking because of their travels.
"I need to smoke," Liv muttered to her twin, she had started smoking after a violent showdown with their mother who had shown up and tried to weasel her way back into their lives and have Olivia marry a man that was old enough to be her father for the money that she would stand to see if she did.
It had been Lewis who had pulled her to safety and given her the first smoke and her second taste of whiskey, both things seemed to calm her nerves down and relax.
"I got you." He said pulling a pack of Lucky Strikes out of his front pocket. "You are the best." She laughed as she took it and slipped out of the front door. Andie, her stepmother insisted that all smoking was to be done outside to fill the house up with smoke and it wasn’t good for the littles that they constantly had around either.
"I didn't know you smoked doll," Bill commented as he came up the steps, he had run some mending down to a customer of his father's and had just made it back then.
"Yeah, I picked it up in Charleston." She returned before she held the pack out to him, her manners trumping her need to be rude, "Lewis, my Aunt Helen's cousin got me hooked on it." Bill took a smoke from the pack and then leaned against the railing next to her, "Calms my nerves a bit."
"How was it out there?" He figured that was a safe subject to talk about that wouldn't get him slapped or told off again by her brothers.
"Sad for the most part, Nana Grace died three weeks after we got there."
Grace had been Fredrick's third and favorite wife and a favorite of all the great-great grandkids.
"And PawPaw lost the rest of his marbles. He thought I was Lydia, he called me Lydia almost every single day, and he insisted that I move into her room and have all her belongings."
She pulled the small diamond cross necklace from behind the material of her dress, it had belonged to Lydia and had been taken from her dead body after Franklin, Lydia's own twin brother , found her and the bodies of their mother, two younger sisters, and baby brother. At first, it had freaked her out to wear it because of the story surrounding it but now she didn't go without it, it was a comfort to her to have it. It gave her extra silent strength.
"He insisted I had a debutante ball."
Not expecting that to come from her, Bill choked on the inhale of tobacco, "You? In a pretty white dress? And dancing? You hated formal dancing."
"Yes, me, it was actually a lot of fun. Lewis, came down from Yale to go with me." A flash of jealousy went through him and he clenched his jaw to keep it in.
"We were all expecting Bobby to be the one to go with me but he came in like a knight on a white horse with whiskey and lucky strikes to save the day.”
Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she smirked seeing the anger and jealousy coming from him, she knew the fact that she was with another man was going to bug him. From the first day that they became friends, he had been possessive of her.
"Are you together with him?" He asked through a billow of smoke. Olivia raised her eyes to look at the blue sky to bide time. "I am not going to answer that question Billy, it's not your business. Not anymore."
"Kids!" Andie called from the open window. "Dinner.' Sighing she put out the smoke and pushed away from the railing to go into the house. Before she went into the house he caught her wrist and pulled her into him like he wanted to.
“Bill, please don't. I would hate to have my brothers kick your butt and your mother will cry if you start senior year with a broken face.” She pulled her wrist away from him and went back into the house, he could hear her excusing herself from dinner claiming she was too tired from the car ride to be hungry.
He knew it was because of him and because of Eve, they broke her, and she had put herself back together again like Humpty Dumpty.
***
After eating his own dinner, James took a plate into Olivia and Marla’s bedroom for her to eat, knowing that she was probably starving but didn’t want to come out, her stubbornness and pride being the biggest factor of it. “Thought you would like this.” He held out the plate to her. “Yes, thank you.” Olivia stood up fully from where she was going through the hope chest that had been delivered a few days before.
“I am surprised the Navy let you out to be here.” She commented as she sat on the desk chair curling her leg underneath her, James had graduated from the Naval Academy the spring before last and had been stationed first in Virginia, and with the war picking up in Europe there had been talks of moving them out.
“I am leaving the day after tomorrow, they are shipping a bunch of us out to Pearl Harbor and the Pacific.” He answered lowering the lid down on the hope chest and sitting down on it.
“Is the threat really bad of the war reaching the Pacific?” Olivia pushed the noodles and sauce around her plate waiting for an answer. “We don’t know kiddo, I am just doing what I am told.” He turned to look at the opened box on the bed, he had been right, there was an unfolded letter from Lewis sitting on top of the bottle of whiskey and Hershey’s bars.
“He and Kathy are planning their wedding.” She informed him as she twirled the noodles around her fork, “She is dead set on marrying him in Arizona and he wants me to come with Aunt Helen. Said I will make it bearable. Said if I was older, he would marry me instead.”
“What is going on with you two?” He scanned the letter quickly before taking one of the bars and opening it, biting back his own comments about how he wished that too. She didn’t need that right then, she was 17 years old and deserved to have some sort of happiness.
“We are just friends, really. He came down to the ball with me and we talked all night.” She shrugged, causing her brother to put the chocolate bar down and look at her fully, he knew Lewis and he knew Olivia, there was just no way that they talked all night. “Liv.’ “What happened between him and I happened and that’s it. And if you want details ask your other nosy little sister, she knows the truth.”
“Get it, sis.” He teased, he wanted to tell her to be careful and that he and Bobby wouldn’t be around forever to fight her battles for her. But looking at her just then, he knew that she understood that and she was being a lot more careful than she had been before. She had had her heart broken once, she wasn’t going to let it happen again.
***
Start of school 1941
**
“Olivia! Come on, we got to go!’ Bobby called up the stairs annoyed, he and Marla had been waiting for the last 20 minutes for her to come downstairs. “She is nervous. She spent all of last year being homeschooled by Nanny.” Marla said as she shifted her books to her other arm, “And Evie and Bill being in most of the classes aren’t helping any.’ “I know.” He returned, “Liv!” “I am right here, stop your shoutin’,’ Olivia finally said as she came down the stairs, “What?” Her siblings and their youngest brother Steven who had gotten away from Andie were all staring at her. “Do I have something on my face?” “No,” Marla answered as Olivia scooped their brother up into her arms and pressed a kiss to his cheek leaving a red lipstick stain behind causing him to exclaim yuck! And wipe his cheek off.
“You just look like the old you. It's kind of nice to see.”
Olivia offered them a beaming smile before taking the piece of buttered toast from Andie who took Steven from her causing the little boy to whine and reach for her. “We will be back soon Stevie.” She promised kissing his cheek again and ruffling the curls before following her twin and Marla out of the door.
Bill was leaving his house at the same time and slowed his pace to walk next to them. He took Olivia’s books from her and placed an arm around her shoulders, an old habit that they had slipped into once things had started to get better between him and the twins.
Bobby didn't want to kill him on-site anymore and Olivia was slowly letting him back in. The only one who was still frozen out was Eve and it was making her angrier than before. If they could forgive Bill then they should be able to forgive her too.
But only time would tell.
#ash writes#series: courage under fire#band of brothers fan fiction#band of brothers imagines#band of brothers oc#oc: olivia stewart#oc: robert stewart#oc: marla stewart#bill guarnere#lewis nixon#though Lew is only mentioned in this chapter. he shows up in the chapter after next
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line without a hook | K.S
part three
“Kathy’s staying with you?” Elliot’s voice boomed behind you, making you flinch slightly which lead to you spilling the coffee you were pouring into your cup.
“Yeah she is.” You sighed, putting the coffee cup back on the pot. You grabbed some napkins, cleaning up the small spill.
“Why didn’t you tell me when she first came to you?” You huffed, turning to look at him. You noticed Olivia standing behind him and you figured she told him that Kathy was staying with you. Why wouldn’t she tell him?
“She asked me not to, Elliot. Now if you’ll excuse me..” You grabbed your styrofoam cup and began walking back to your desk, in front of Fin’s, when you heard him chuckle.
“So what? Your loyalty lies with her? You know that’s real-”
“The hell are you talking about loyalty for? This has absolutely nothing to do with loyalty. She needed a place to stay-”
”-You could’ve said no!”
“Why would I say no, Elliot? Kathy is one of my best friends.” He shook his head as he paced back and fourth, his hands clenching in anger. “Don’t go taking your anger out on me because I didn’t do shit.” Olivia grabbed Elliot, gently pulling him into the other room once she saw you getting angry too.
“Something I should know about?” Cragen’s voice came from behind you as you took a seat. Your jaw clenched tightly as you shook your head, not turning your head to look his way. “Alright well, we got a Jane doe at Mercy. You and Fin, go check it out.” You nodded, grabbing your jacket and to-go coffee cup, walking out the room before he could try and talk to you.
“What’s up with you and stabler?” Fin finally broke the silence between the two of you as you began to drive to the hospital. You glanced at him quickly before focusing your view onto the road.
“He’s got problems with Kathy. You know how he gets.” He nodded, completely understanding how heated Elliot could get over little things.
“Well if you need me to kick his ass, straighten him out a little bit, let me know.” You laughed, shaking your head at your partner. You sighed softly, stopping at the red light.
“Can I tell you something, Fin?” You looked over at him, “No one else can know and I mean absolutely no one.” He rose a brow, leaning back in the seat.
“Since when have I ever told someone something you told me in private, Y/n?” You shook your head, glancing at the light to make sure it was still red.
“Never but this,” you sighed, a knot in your stomach began forming just thinking about it. “This thing is bad. It’s so bad. I could lose people over this, Fin.”
“What? You kill someone or something?” Although it was a joke, there was some seriousness laced in his voice. You were usually never this serious with him.
“Kathy kissed me.” The light turned green and you slowly pressed your foot on the gas. “She had suspected Liv and Elliot having an affair, I was comforting her and she kissed me.” You paused for a second, taking in a breath as you felt the weight come off your shoulders. “I stopped it because she was hurting, she wasn’t in the right state of mind but I can’t...” You trailed off and he sighed softly.
“You can’t stop thinking about it?” He finished for you, you nodded and he chuckled. “And now she’s staying with you?”
“I couldn’t tell her no, Fin.” You made a left turn, sparing him a small glance. “I wouldn’t tell her no. She’s my best friend.”
“What about me?”
“Fin, shut up.” You smiled, running a hand through your head. “There’s no awkward tension between us, everything just flows but this is Elliot’s wife. Or ex wife when the papers get finalized. This is bad. Elliot is....” You trailed off for a split second, “he’s family. You guys are my family. But now I like Elliot’s wife.”
“Their marriage is over, Y/n. You didn’t end their marriage, you’re not sleeping with her while she’s married. You’re not doing anything wrong. You can’t control your feelings. It’s a crush, it’ll pass.”
“And if it doesn’t.” You pulled into a parking space across the street from the hospital, taking the key out of the ignition.
“If it doesn’t, then you act then.” He shrugged as if it were that simple. “Maybe it was just a one time thing, you know? You worry to much.” With that he got out of the car and you rolled your eyes.
“Some best friend you are.” You muttered before getting out of the car yourself.
“I’m home, Kathy.” You called out as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door behind you. You huffed lowly, pulling your jacket off and throwing it onto the sofa along with your bag.
“Hey, how was work?” She came from around the corner where the kitchen was.
“It was fine, we caught a case an...” You trailed off as you noticed what she was wearing. Your Harvard sweatshirt. “Is that my sweatshirt?” Kathy glanced down at herself and smiled as she nodded.
“Yeah it was cold...is that okay?” You nodded quickly, snapping out of your thoughts. You could feel your face heating up so you coughed slightly to cover it up.
“Yeah yeah, it’s fine.” You stumbled over your words for a moment before inhaling deeply. “I’m going to go take a shower and then we can order in? Unless you already ate?” She shook her head, leaning against the wall while crossing her legs as she observed you.
“I’ll order the food while you take a shower. Pizza, okay?” You nodded, not trusting your voice, as your feet began moving forward towards your bedroom.
20 minutes later you emerged from the bathroom, a pair of black and white plaid pajamas hung from your hips, clinging to your thighs paired with a white tank top that left little to the imagination. You hair was pulled back into a bun, not wanting it to get wet, although a few pieces that framed your face were curled slightly.
“Hey, food should be here soon.” Kathy rounded called out from living room and you nodded even though she couldn’t see you. Walking towards the kitchen, you went into the fridge.
“You want a beer or something?” She called out a yeah and you grabbed her a beer and yourself strawberry daiquiri seagrams before going into the living room with Kathy. You flopped onto the sofa next to her, handing her the beer before taking a long swig of your drink. Kathy’s eyes trailed your body, landing on your boobs. She mentally smacked herself for having the mind of a 13 year old boy. “You have a good day?”
Her eyes snapped back onto your face quickly as she nodded, a small smile going onto her lips. “Yeah, saw the kids today. They say hi, by the way.” You smiled widely, turning your head to look at her.
“They can come over anytime they want Kathy, you know I love those kids as if they were my own.” She nodded, playing with the top of the beer bottle. “You miss them?”
“Yeah.” She whispered, nodding and you reached out, grabbing her hand with hesitation.
“It’s gonna be okay.” You muttered softly and she squeezed your hand, letting her head rest there. Your head laid back against the cushion but never turned to look away from Kathy.
“You’re good to me, y/n.” She whispered, letting her head drop to the cushion too, never taking her eyes off you. Her hand had yet to move off of yours. You could slowly see her leaning in and in your head you were contemplating on whether or not to kiss her. Everything, and i mean everything, was screaming no. To not kiss her but you heart? You heart was saying to go for it. Her face was close to yours, so close that you could practically feel her breath on your face.
“Kathy, we can’t.” You whispered, her forehead came into contact with yours, resting against it.
“Why can’t we?” You breathing hitched as you began to think for answers to her questions. There were a million answers to her question but none of them seemed important.
“You’re in vulnerable pla-”
“I’m fine, now.”
“You’re Elliot’s-”
“Don’t think about him, think about me. Do you want me?”
“Kathy.” It was meant to sound like a protest but it was a small whisper, you wanted this. You could feel yourself leaning in and her lips hovered above yours. The loud knocked against your front door made you jump back, quite literally. You breathed out sharply, sparing a glance at the blonde. “Uh that’s pizza!” You quickly grabbed your wallet, walking to get the pizza.
“Just great.” Kathy muttered before taking a big gulp of her beer. She was going to need it to get through this night.
OKAY SO ITS NOT EDITED. ill edit or something in the morning. remember to take care of y’all self. oh and stay gay😌
#kathy stabler#kathy stabler x reader#law and order svu#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu x reader#law and order svu imagines#line without a hook
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The Wonder Years: Part 5
While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-4 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years
Thank you to everyone who reblogged the last chapter and an extra special thank you to @storiesofsvu @oliviaswifey @cabensons and my lovely anon for your kind words and encouragement to keep going with this.
...and a very happy day two of birthday week for @ghostwritingcabenson
Olivia wanted nothing but slow songs to play until it was time to go home. Even if she wasn’t a fan of them and thought they were too mushy, as long as she got to hold Alex, Olivia didn’t care what the songs were about, but after one more slow song she noticed her girlfriend was becoming antsy.
“Olivia, I’m cold.” Alex crossed her arms and started to fidget. “Let’s go somewhere else.”
“But it’s hot in here,” Olivia narrowed her eyes. “How are you cold?”
“Let’s go outside.”
Olivia was now more confused than ever. “But it’s colder outside so why do you want to go outside if you’re cold?”
“Olivia!” Alex’s eyes grew wide. She scanned the auditorium to see if anyone was looking at them before leaning in to whisper in Olivia’s ear. “I want to be alone with you.”
That single sentence made Olivia feel more discombobulated than ever before. The hair on her arms was standing up and she felt her heart start to race. “Why-why do you wanna be alone? Our friends are all here and we’re having fun.”
When Alex rolled her eyes, Olivia began to wonder if she had done something wrong until she felt Alex grab her by the hand. “Come on, Olivia. We’re going outside. We can see our friends on Monday.”
Alex led them to a bench in front of their school near the banner where they had taken pictures just a couple of hours before. Although only a short period of time had passed since she was twirling Alex for the sake of getting a good picture for Alex to post, Olivia felt as if the entire atmosphere of that area had changed. There were no more excited students being dropped off and showing their clothes and hairstyles to their friends and there were also no more parents coordinating where to meet and what time to pick up their kids. Instead it was just the two of them, sitting side by side on the bench in the almost eerie silence. It was the first time she had ever truly been alone with Alex. When they sat together at lunch, their friends were always around, and it was mostly other couples like Abbie and Serena or Kathy and Elliot, so there was never any awkward silence. But this time there were no other couples and no friends stopping them to say hi in the hallway as they walked to class. Instead, it was just the two of them and it was at that moment Olivia realized she had absolutely no idea what to say to her girlfriend.
When Alex scooted closer, Olivia felt her heart start to race again. She remembered what Jamie had said about following her lead and she thought back to last weekend when Jamie had come over to watch a movie with them. When they were sitting on the couch, Jamie had put her arm around her mom and Olivia remembered how happy her mom looked and how safe she must have felt with Jamie’s arm around her. I want Alex to feel that way, too. She didn’t know where she got the nerve, but Olivia soon put her arm around Alex. Alex responded by resting her head on her shoulder and Olivia could have sworn she heard her girlfriend sigh. For the first time, it wasn’t a sigh that meant ‘I’m done with you, Olivia.’ It was a sigh that Olivia figured must mean her girlfriend was content.
“Liv?”
“Yeah?”
Alex nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “Do you know when I realized I had a crush on you?”
“You have a crush on me?” Olivia asked jokingly. Alex sighed yet again and Olivia knew that one was different. That was definitely an ‘I’m done with you’ sigh.
“Even if I spend 50 percent of our relationship being 100 percent done with you, I’m still so glad you’re my girlfriend.”
“Me, too,” Olivia smiled. “Except I’m never done with you. You’re all I think about.”
“You’re all I think about, too.” Much to Olivia’s disappointment, Alex stopped resting her head on her shoulder and decided to sit up so she could look her in the eyes. She knew a follow up question was coming and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to answer it. “What do you think about?”
“I...don’t know,” Olivia hesitated. “All kinds of things, I guess. Sometimes I think about us going to Disneyland and riding the teacups and we make them spin faster than anyone else’s. After that, I will buy you a pair of sparkly Minnie Mouse ears and even if all the other girls have them, no one looks as pretty as you do. No other girl in this whole world is as pretty as you.” Olivia held both of Alex’s hands in hers. “What do you think about?”
Alex scanned the area to make sure they were alone just as she had in the auditorium. “I think about doing this.” She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to Olivia’s. Before Olivia could even decide if she should have her eyes open or closed, their first kiss was over, and Olivia was left feeling as if her heart was beating a million times a minute.
Olivia smacked her lips together, trying to decipher the new flavor on them. “Your lipgloss tastes like strawberry. My favorite!”
Alex’s cheeks were starting to turn pink, which in turn made Olivia feel shy. “I’ll keep that in mind and wear strawberry lipgloss whenever I plan on kissing you.”
“We can kiss again?” Olivia asked in disbelief.
Alex cupped Olivia’s face in her hands. “I’m your girlfriend, Olivia! Of course we can kiss again.”
“Right now?”
“Olivia!” Alex giggled. “That was our first kiss. We’ve just taken a very important step in our relationship and I think we should talk about it. How was it for you?”
“Kissing?”
“Yeah.”
Olivia scratched her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “I think our first kiss was better than baseball and almost as good as basketball.”
“Almost?” Alex asked, trying not to sound hurt.
“Yeah, almost.” Olivia shrugged. “I’ve been playing basketball since I was a little kid and I’ve only been kissed once so I can’t say kissing is better than basketball. Maybe if I get kissed all the time…”
“All the time?” Alex leaned in to kiss her again and when she felt Alex’s hand on the back of her neck and then playing with her newly cropped hair as they kissed, Olivia realized kissing was in fact better than basketball.
When Alex pulled away and Olivia opened her eyes, it took a moment to adjust to her surroundings and even try to remember her own name.
“Better than basketball?” Alex winked.
“Better than anything,” Olivia beamed. “Better than basketball, better than pizza. I can’t compare it to anything really because nothing can make me as happy as kissing you.”
Their moment was interrupted by the sound of a notification on her phone. It was now 8:45 and the text was from her mom telling her that she’d be there in fifteen minutes. The most romantic night of Olivia’s life was coming to an end. But there’s still fifteen minutes. I can kiss her a million more times in fifteen minutes.
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Also!!! I think Kathy definitely knew. I think it was just easier to not address it right then when Liv asks, they’ve got bigger concerns because he knows either way Liv is gonna question Kathy’s decision. Hell I think she would’ve questioned Kathy being /okay/ with putting the house up more than her not.
I think Kathy fully said “no she’s definitely innocent and her ass will get shived in rikers so go get her, but /I swear Elliot if she fucking jumps bail I’ll kill you/.”
Liv’s declaration of “we were close at the end” in ROTPS makes me think so as well. For Liv to say that makes me think s10-12 her and Kathy were actually friendly. I think her and Kathy became a lot closer after Eli’s birth. Maybe not quite friends, but definitely more comfortable and trusting of each other. (Also Kathy calling Olivia Liv on the phone numerous times in gray)
Olivia is Kathy's second husband, ok, Kathy fully would support Elliot doing whatever it took to get Liv out - especially in this case when Liv isn't out on bail for months and months and they're only gonna be out the filing fees and a few days' worth of interest like they're gonna be out some money but they're not gonna be out the full $250k and Kathy knows Olivia would do whatever it took to get Elliot out of prison if the roles were reversed.
I love the idea that Eli's birth was really opening for Kathy. That she gets to see Olivia in all her glory, Olivia the warrior, gets to see what it is about Liv that makes her such a good partner for Elliot after so long, gets to see how fucking much Liv cares and how willing she is to do anything for Kathy. Kathy lightly, teasingly calling Liv his "work wife" or w/e when she answers the phone in gray, and it isn't a jab, isn't a dig, bc Kathy knows what this is and she's comfortable with Liv and she trusts her.
I know it isn't necessarily a popular opinion but I tend to think Liv wasn't spending a lot of time with the Stablers, even towards the end. I don't think she's going over there for dinner and stuff. But they know, they all know, that Liv is part of the family, and that she would do anything for them and they would do anything for her.
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Peace In the Midst of the Storm By: Eowyn38
I have not written in a very long time and I didn’t have time to have someone review any mistakes. Its not my best, I am tired, so please forgive any kinks I didn’t work out. I couldn’t focus on homework so instead I wrote this. I guess its what I hope a real conversation will be between Elliot and Olivia on their journey towards healing. Hope you enjoy.
Elliot and Olivia Post Episode:
Its 3:35 on a Friday night. Olivia is staring at the white speckled ceiling as it changes shape and color before her eyes the longer she stared. The emotions and thoughts leaving her unable to do anything else but lay there still. There comes a point in life where the pain and emotions become too much and the human brain in its defense turns everything else to a numb gray haze. It took years perfecting and working to keep her emotions in appropriate tightly locked boxes. For the job, for her mother. Elliot was her partner and best friend, but somewhere down the line he became, well, everything. There was this sense of shame Liv felt every time she allowed a trickle of love and longing to spill over. Elliot and all he meant was something she had wrestled with for longer than she can even recall. Learning to live with the hole he left in her when he left, comparing every man to his shadow had become an everyday battle. But she had learned to live with it. Having him back, hearing his voice, holding him…. Had become a dream and a nightmare Liv was not prepared to deal with. Seeing him had been like a magnet snapping back to where it’s supposed to be, It was like feeling apart of herself breathe again, a part of herself she felt had long died.
Olivia rubbed her hands over her face to ease the dry ache of her eyes and turned on her side with a sigh. The range of emotions she didn’t want to feel came in waves, all she wanted was sot sleep, with each wave it left unending hopelessness in its wake as to how to navigate it all, wanting at times to sink into a numb haze instead. She spent her whole existence learning to live with these types of emotions. Seeing the look in her mother’s eyes knowing she was the product of rape. As one of very few females on the job seeing the male cops look at her with distrust and disrespect- having to constantly prove your worth. Coming home to an empty void of a home all thoughts of motherhood and family a far-away dream. Trauma from the job. Noah… had become the one touchstone, the one rock she could pour herself into. The one truly good thing in her life.
Elliot’s words rang in her head bringing with them questions she didn’t want to ask. He was in an emotional war desperately grasping onto any lifeline and madly pushing away at the same time. She knew and understood the signs. Watching him navigate this made her flip flop from anger, to frustration, to desperation, to love, to guilt, and then sinking into numbness. His letter was clear, there was something he needed to share but in the right moment. What could he share she didn’t know, or did she know? Could she trust his emotions, his words? Could she trust he would not push her away, walk away yet again, leaving her with less than she had before?
“I love you…. You mean the world to me….”
Rang over and over, threatening to undo the delicate balance she had created to manage the daily raging war of emotions and thoughts. She kept telling herself all the rationale reasons to keep the inappropriate emotions at bay. Inappropriate was the only word that could summarize the emotions she had shoved to the deepest part of herself, what other word was there for these emotions? Elliot was her partner, a man who had been married, had a family, a wife who just recently died, a woman she loved and respected. She repeated the words over and over willing her rationale mind to win over irrational emotions. Elliot had called 4 times today. She should answer, she should call him, she should talk over what he found in Kathy’s investigation, but she feared if she did the delicate balance she was struggling to hold together would collapse. Was she really that close to the edge, all because of one person?
Knock… knock…
She turned her head to the noise she heard in the other room. Again… Knock…. After determining it was not the neighbors, Noah, or an intruder… she collapsed into her pillow with a sigh…. Elliot. It took all she had left to walk to the door knowing who she would see on the other end of the peep hole. There he stood, head down, dejected, tired…. With a sigh, she batten-down the hatches within and opened the door.
“Elliot… its 3am…”
“I know…” he shook his head… she could see the motors working in his mind… but the words just fell to silence. For a few moments their eyes just did the talking and the reading.
With a sign she stepped aside and let him in. She pointed to Noah’s room letting Elliot know they needed to remain quiet. He nodded wordlessly. She stood watching as he paced… back and forth… back and forth… restless, rubbing his hands over his face and head. Olivia closed her eyes and walked over, placing a hand on his forearm, blocking his restless movements.
“Elliot… sit… please.”
He looked at her with wild red eyes, hooded in darkness. He nodded. Liv sat on the couch. He sat on the edge of a chair on the other side of the room. His leg moving uncontrollably. For an uncomfortable amount of time there was just silence.
“Look… I know the last thing you want right now is me here. I feel like I keep saying I am sorry, like they are these empty words that don’t mean anything anymore. I keep letting all of you down.” Elliot’s leg stops moving for a moment as she watched him try to find the words to articulate, trying to detangle the balled-up twine of emotions. She allowed the silence to stretch, allowing him the space and time.
“I don’t know what to do with all of this Liv, and I don’t even know where to start unpacking this. I keep wanting to do what I have always done, what has always worked.”
At that she spoke… “Has it worked Elliot?” Her voice has a twinge of hardness she didn’t intend, or had she?
Again, silence stretched.
He signed deeply…. “No… It hasn’t worked, but it’s what has been easier to manage.”
She spoke again… “Have you managed it, has it been easier for everyone else around you to manage?”
With that she watched his face drop… confused and deflated. His head fell.
In that moment she regretted her questions and tone. She waited for him to spring up red faced and leave.
“Well, I guess if I was better at this, I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
Olivia shook her head… “Look Elliot, I am sorry. I don’t want to fight with you. I am here if you need to talk. But you are pushing me away, your kids away, and right now more than anything they need you and you need them. You’re not the only one going through this right now.”
Elliot’s hands came up again, rugging his face, wishing… wishing this was easier.
“You’re right. I don’t know what that means or what I am going to do… but you’re right.”
At this Liv’s face and body poster changed, relaxed.
“You read the letter?”
Liv shook her head… “Elliot, we don’t have to do this right now. There’s….Its not the right…” But the words were just lost.
“Look Liv, your right. The time is off. It’s always been off. But I think it’s the only way we can move forward. Your right I need to make amends with my kids, to Kathy, but if I am to move on from all of this I need to make amends to you as well.”
At that Liv had no arguments left, 3am or not, right time or not.
“I don’t even know how to start this….. You know the job is the job. It comes with its battles. Talking over things that we saw with Kathy was just never anything I ever considered. I did my job and I came home and dealt with it. Over time the connection I had with you Liv, what we went through, was unlike any relationship I had had before.”
Liv shook her head, understanding without needing anything more…
“Let’s face it, it was me shutting down and the repercussions, that caused me to lose my family the first time and I almost lost you. And it’s the same mistake I am making now…”
There was silent reflection for a good minute before he continued.
“When Kathy and I divorced. I failed in my marriage, I failed in caring for my kids who were a wreck, and I was unraveling. My feelings… for you...”
Elliot shook his head, unsure how to fully articulate.
“They went deeper than I really know how to express. I felt it was a weakness. You took up so much of my thoughts, so much of my world. The worry, the care, wanting better for you…. I felt I was losing my ability to do the one thing I was good at and that was the job and having your back. I resented you for emotions I didn’t know what to do with. Those feelings then changed into something more, into something different…”
Elliot looked up, to scan Olivia’s brown eyes. She shook her head… the depth of her knowing… her brain a blank mess.
“Ok…. I loved you Liv. I love you. There was a part of me that wanted to reach out because I felt this shift. I felt like the same battle I was fighting; you were also fighting.”
He paused, letting the heaviness of that sink in. He watched as tears began to brim in those eyes he knew so well. His restlessness ceases, and he stood. He sat down gingerly in front of her on the coffee table.
“I knew the implications if we were honest with each other, and all the risks we would be taking. I was drowning, as I am now, and I went back to what was comfortable. What was easier. Kathy got pregnant. I knew in that moment what I had done was unfair to her and unfair to you. It was selfish. I went back to my family, but it didn’t stop what I was feeling… from getting harder, harder to compartmentalize, harder to ignore.”
The tears that had been pooling finally spilled in a steady stream onto Liv’s cheek. In an involuntary response he reached out, and stroked it away. Liv’s eyes widened. He pulled his hand away and lay them back in his lap, looking down at the damp of her tears on the tips of his fingers.
“The job had worn me down, I was scared of ruining… everything Liv… if I stayed. I knew there would be a time I would no longer be able to be who I should be to my wife and be who I wanted to be…. For you. So, instead of being honest, I was a coward Liv. I felt if I left it would give you the ability to move on and give me the ability to devote myself fully to my family…. And maybe make myself a better man.”
He ranched across the short divide to grab her hand, which were balled tightly together in her lap. She looked down at his outstretched hand, a peace offering. She undid her hands that had become white from the pressure, and rest her own in his. For a moment they just looked down, at the connection between them.
Without looking up she said, “If you had been honest with me, even if I had felt the same, I would have never have allowed you to, I would never….”
He looked up, “I know Liv. Unfortunately, I can’t say I would have been able to be as honorable. I knew seeing you, hearing your voice, would knock down any resolve I had left….”
She looked up, realization rolling over her in waves. He loved her, she had not been alone in her slow descending battle of emotions. She shook her head, tears falling this time without stopping. All she had done to survive, all the emotions and battles, they were being undone.
“Funny thing is, I went to the other side of the world. And The first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I went to bed…. Was you. I loved my wife Liv please hear that, but I also loved you. Both of those loves were so vastly different.”
With that Liv groaned and the tears came stronger, she grasped tightly to his hand. Something in her that felt lost and abandoned desperately needed to hear… every… word… of this.
“Should I reach out, how would you react, had I destroyed everything, would I cave and come home, what if you had been able to move on and I ruined that delicate balance? So, days just turned into years. But…. When I saw you that night Liv. I felt like a missing part of myself was found again. With all of this…. Seeing you again… Losing Kathy… I just don’t know what to do with…” He motioned with his hands… “all of this.”
With that silence filled the room once again. Liv had nothing… no words… nothing to give. The words hurt, they healed, they explained, they gave hope, they were the end of one journey and aa beginning of a new one. They sat there, both hands now intertwined in her lap. She lifted his hand to her face, nuzzling into their warmth, and looked deeply into his eyes. It’s all she had to give in that moment. He moved closer and stoked her cheek, trying to wipe dry every tear he may have caused, and shook his head. He understood. She had forgotten how easy it could be between them, this silent communication.
“Look, this is a lot.. too much… I don’t know how long this is going to take. I just hope…. We can maybe start over, start clean. I’d love to get to know Noah. I’d love to get my best friend back. I just need… time.”
In that moment Liv felt lighter than she had in a long time, she shook her ahead again wordlessly.
Elliot’s hand dropped back down to her lap… “Can I stay?” She looked at him unsure. “I’m… just so tired Liv… so tired…” Without hesitation Liv moved over and Elliot crossed to sit on the couch next to her. He laid down allowing his head to rest in her lap. He let out a sigh he didn’t even realize he had been holding. Her arms came up around him, cradling his head.
“You have my word I’ll be gone before Noah wakes up.” She stared down at him, smiling, grateful for his understand even in her need to protect her son, stroking the hair behind his neck.
“Thank you, now rest.”
In minutes, his beathing became long and even. His body relaxed and the restlessness ceased, the waging war stilled if only for a little while. She looked down taking in words she never thought she would hear. At some point she would have to unpack them, figure out what they meant, but for now, this was enough. She leaned her head back to rest on the cushion of the couch, staring again at the white speckled ceiling, looking with new eyes, and soon sleep took over. Silent, peaceful, still.
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Familiar Face (4)
SVU Fic
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SN: The whole adoption process never happened in my fics, it is simply the story Olivia told ppl to explain Noah. And the whole Brooke shields thing didn't either K, bye!
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Olivia gave her son a tight smile gesturing to his seat. Slowly, he walked to the stool beside Elliot, hopping up into the chair. Elliot stayed quiet, wanting to follow her lead.
"No, I didn't have a baby before you, Noah."
Noah frowned. "But I just heard you. You said you got pregnant. Did the baby die, Mom?"
"No, no," she responded quickly with a shake of her head, "The baby didn't die."
"Then where is it?"
"I'm looking at him," she said with a smile. "You are the baby I was referring to, Noah."
Noah sat quietly staring at his food in deep thought. "So that means Elliot is my dad? I have a dad?"
Olivia nodded, "Yes, that's what that means and yes you do."
"You hid him from me? You hid me from him?"
Elliot stepped in not wanting the child to get too upset and fluster Olivia even more. "There was a lot going on, Noah. When someone gets pregnant they don't know right away so by the time your mom found out, I had long retired and moved away. She didn't have a way of telling me about you."
Noah looked over at Elliot with an unreadable expression. "But she could've told me. She never told me."
"Sometimes parents don't tell their children things because they think they're protecting them," Elliot explained rubbing his back, "And sometimes that isn't always the right decision. Just because parents are adults doesn't mean they don't make mistakes. You understand that right?"
"Yeah," he nodded turning back to his food picking up his fork, "Yeah I understand. But I'm still upset."
"Nothing wrong with being upset, Noah," Olivia added. "If that's what you're feeling then we can't blame you. If you wanna talk at any point just let me know. Okay?"
"Okay but can I talk to Elliot too? He is my dad."
Olivia glanced momentarily at Elliot, who winked at her, then nodded. "Yes, you can. Either of us. As long as you're talking. Okay?"
"Okay. I think I deserve ice cream tonight. Three scoops," he laughed.
Elliot ruffled his hair playfully. "Just tonight. That's not gonna work any other time."
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"Since you're taking me home, you might as well stay the night. It's getting late, shouldn't be driving alone this late."
Carisi chuckled looking over at Peach from his dessert. "Its only 9:15 or so. Not that late."
"By the time we leave here is gonna be like ten, won't get to me and Kat's building until 10:30 or 1045 and you won't get home till 11 something. So yes it'll be late."
"Okay since you put it that way," he nodded wiping his mouth with his napkin, "It'll be a little late but I have some work to do at home. So since you're worried about me driving alone, how about you pack a bag when we get to your place and you come stay the night at my place?"
Peach smirked glancing at Amanda, "Your girlfriend won't mind me staying the night."
Carisi laughed a little louder than he intended then shook his head. "I don't have one unless that's your way of askin."
"Oh no, Sonny. I'm a lady from the south," she explained playfully, "If a man wants to date me he must court me and do the asking. A lady never asks, it'd be unsouthern of me."
"Oh yeah, how could I forget, Blanche? A true southern Belle." He joked throwing his arm around the back of her chair continuing their conversation.
Nick settled back in his chair texting his mom to check on his daughter. "If you stare any harder, your eyes might fall out."
"Not staring, I was thinking about something."
"Thinking about what?" Nick asked putting his phone on the table.
Amanda turned her gaze to him, a small smirk on her face. "Did you and her sleep together? Yall seem closer than friends. Like with her and Kat, I can tell but not with you two."
"For the first and last time, no we never slept together. We seem closer because we spent almost two years undercover together, protecting each other and only having each other to talk to. She's like a little sister to me, Amanda."
"Okay, okay, my bad. I was just wondering."
"No, you weren't wondering. You were being jealous as usual," he chuckled, "You can't bogaard someone or something that doesn't belong to you."
Amanda scoffed. "I am not jealous. Jealous of who?"
"You are. Jealous of Peach because you think her and I were or are sleeping together. And because you see her and Carisi getting closer and closer," he explained looking over briefly at the pair talking closely, "But you can't be jealous of that. You didn't want him, remember? You turned him down."
"I do not want him. I just want him to be careful, we don't know her."
"No," he smirked, "You don't know her. Me and Kat know her. Fin is getting to know her. And by the looks of it Carisi has gotten to know her as well. Loosen up."
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After getting Noah in the shower and into bed, Olivia settled on her sofa beside Elliot with a well deserved glass of wine. He was already watching a movie when she came in.
"Feel better now that you've said it?"
"I do," she sighed. "I didn't think I would but I do. Thank you for pushing me."
Elliot chuckled, "Oh you're thanking me for that now? Years ago, you would've been down my throat for doing it."
"Yeah, well things change," she laughed. "When are you gonna tell your kids? And Kathy?"
"They're all coming to visit again for my mom's birthday so after her party. I'm not in a rush to tell Kathy honestly, we barely talk unless it's something with Eli."
"Do you think your kids are gonna be upset?"
"I'm sure Kathleen is gonna be the wild card," he shrugged, "She always is, she's a lot like her mother. I'll probably tell the others before I tell her."
Olivia nodded taking a long sip of her wine. "Do you wanna spend the night? Or are you going home?"
"If you want me to stay, I'll stay, Liv."
"Okay well ... I want you to stay." She smiled.
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After a few long goodbyes, the group went their separate ways to enjoy the rest of their night. As promised Carisi took Kat and Peach to their building, after getting Kat settled in her apartment Peach went to hers to pack a bag then left to go to Carisi's. He gave her a tour that ended in his spare bedroom so she could change.
"I'll be in the living room working if you need me." He told her preparing to close the door.
She sat on the bed staring to take off her heels. "Alright, I'll be out once I'm done. You're only working for an hour."
"Right cause it's rude to work when you have company," he repeated with a smile.
"See, you're catching on."
Closing the door, Carisi went to his living room taking out all of the papers he needed to go through spreading them out on the coffee table. He untucked his shirt and undid a few buttons to get comfortable. He had gotten so deep into his work he'd almost forgotten about his guest. Fifteen minutes later, Peach was out of the bedroom wearing a tank top and shorts pajama set trying to walk as quietly as she could through the living room to the kitchen.
To keep herself busy while he worked, she started to load his dishes into the dishwasher and straighten a few things up. She knew she probably should have asked permission before touching his stuff but she couldn't help it. During the tour she noticed the disarray in the kitchen and it had been bothering her ever since. The sound of dishes and cabinets being closed made Carisi remember his guest.
"What're you doing in there?" He called out.
"Uuuh," she drug out, "Nothiiing!"
"Doesn't sound like nothing to me."
"Hey, who's the cop here? Me or you? What's with the interrogation?'
Carisi laughed, "Yeah, okay. Just be careful some of that stuff is high up."
There was a quick silence.
"Was that a short joke, Mr. Carisi?"
"I plead the fifth."
Peach stopped what she was doing, cut the lights off in the kitchen and went to the living room, standing in front of the coffee table squinting. "That sounds like an admission of guilt."
"Who's the ADA here? You or me? What's with the cross examination?"
She laughed going to sit beside him. "Don't steal my lines. I'm funnier than you."
"Funny lookin maybe but not funnier," he joked.
"You are not funny," she laughed hitting his chest playfully. "Just for that, you're done working. I'm ready to be entertained. It's rude not to entertain your guest."
"I'm just learnin all kinds of manners with you now." Carisi tossed his pen into the coffee table then grabbed his remote, sitting back on the sofa. He put an arm around her pulling his closer. "Am I supposed to ask you what kind of movie you wanna watch or just pick it?'
"Its polite to ask." She told him getting comfortable beside him. She put one hand on his abdomen and laid her head on his chest. "You're learning."
"In that case what kind of movie would you like to watch?" He asked turning the television on.
She hummed playfully. "Well, I think a mobster movie would do. Seems fitting doesn't it?"
"Is that an Italian joke?"
She shrugged glancing up at him, "I plead the fifth."
Chuckling, Carisi turned on Goodfellas, tossed the remote aside and clicked off the lamp beside him. He propped his feet up on his coffee table and moved the hand he had around Peach from her arm to her thigh getting comfortable.
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lost stars [AU. drake, camille, leo and olivia] [part ten: chanel]
Part Nine here if you want to catch up.
Penultimate chapter!
@jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @drakewalkerisreal @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @emceesynonymroll @dcbbw @notoriouscs @themingdynasty @iplaydrake @katedrakeohd @rainbowsinthestorm @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @burnsoslow
Olivia woke up feeling well rested. She stretched out and yawned gently, enjoying the plump pillows and the sounds of Paris outside her window.
The sound of water turning off in the bathroom broke her out of her reverie.
Oh god. She had forgotten.
The bathroom door opened and Olivia pulled the duvet over her, hiding herself from her big mistake.
‘Liv? Are you hiding from me?’
She felt herself blush. She kept the duvet over her, not caring that she couldn’t breathe well. She deserved punishment.
The duvet was dragged from her and she turned away, keeping her eyes tight shut.
‘Liv.’
Sighing, she opened her eyes and was greeted with Leo. He was wearing only a towel around his waist and his blonde hair was slicked back from the shower. Droplets of water trickled down his biceps and Olivia resisted the urge to pounce on him. She had done enough of that last night.
‘Hi, Leo,’ she said bluntly. Leo smirked. ‘Regretting last night?’
‘That’s one word to describe it. Currently re-assessing my life decisions.’
Leo chuckled, unfazed by her hostility. He dropped the towel and Olivia averted her eyes, staring at her hands as he padded around the bedroom picking up his clothes.
‘Liv, you know you want to look,’ he teased.
‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ she muttered.
‘What was it you said last night? That I was huge?’
‘Ha!’ she laughed bitterly, now looking at him. ‘I was drunk.’
‘Hardly. Plus, yeah you’re right. I am huge.’
Olivia rolled her eyes. She hated how he was just casually strolling around her suite naked, like it was his right. This was her abode. This was her space.
She tossed the duvet aside, determined, and slunk out of bed. Leo stared at her naked body as she walked to the bathroom, her hips swinging as she went. As she opened the bathroom door, she looked over her shoulder at him. His eyes were steady on her, turning dark. She gave him a smirk and slowly shut the door.
Standing under the shower head, she closed her eyes as the water cascaded down her body in sheets. She could just pretend that Leo wasn’t in the next room. She could pretend last night hadn’t happened.
They had gotten off the bus in the centre of the city and had gone their separate ways. It was only when Leo texted Olivia asking her to meet him for a drink that night that she thought it would be nice to have company. Why not?
Big mistake.
Huge.
Speaking of huge.. Olivia swallowed, trying to forget about everything he had done to her last night. But she couldn’t. She had felt like a lion let loose. He had encouraged her to just be wild and free and she had done it. She had taken control, riding him hard, and when she thought she was done, Leo had taken over. He was relentless.
‘Thinking of me, huh?’
Olivia’s eyes snapped open and she instantly stopped touching herself.
Leo had opened the shower door and was watching her, a smirk on his face as his eyes roamed her body before settling on the space between her thighs.
Olivia couldn’t think of an answer. He would know she was lying if she said no.
‘Let me help you,’ he murmured. Olivia stood back and watched as he let himself into the shower. The water poured down his golden skin and Olivia felt her body react. He looked like a Greek god come to life.
Leo’s hands slid down her chest, cupping her breasts, trailing down her stomach, getting lower and lower. Olivia held in a groan, not wanting to show she was enjoying this. She didn’t want to let him win.
But when his fingers slid into her, she knew she was beaten.
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'So shall we head to Maxims for breakfast? I tell you, they do a fantastic Bloody Mary if I do say so myself,' Leo said, opening the hotel door for Olivia.
Olivia turned and gave him a withering look. 'No. You are not becoming my little companion while I live my best life in Paris. No.'
'Ooh so this morning was part of your best life, huh?' Leo asked, his eyebrow raised. Olivia turned red, cursing herself silently.
'No. Everything when you leave me alone is my best life,' she protested. 'So, Leo, please leave me alone so I can worship the goddess that is Chanel.'
Leo's mouth quirked up in the corner. Gently, he pushed her up against the wall. Olivia took a sharp intake of breath.
'I believe you've been worshipped this morning all ready,' he murmured. 'No other worshipping is necessary.'
Olivia pushed him away. 'Good God, Leo! What a line! Seriously?'
Leo smirked. 'Ah fine, not my best work. Let me try again.'
'No.'
'Livvv..' He sighed. He looked at her with a brooding expression. His green eyes bore into hers. 'Let me treat you to Chanel. I want you to be dripping in jewels by the time I'm done with you.'
Olivia stared at him.
Leo smirked. 'Too much?'
'What gave that away?'
He threw his head back and let out a bellow of a laugh. His eyes crinkled at the corners and he looked genuinely happy. Olivia felt herself smile in spite of herself.
'Fine, Liv. That was cheesy. But hey, let me buy you a Chanel lipstick. It's the least I can do.'
Olivia groaned but she let him take her arm as he led her down the street. They stopped in front of a Vespa. Leo took out a key and turned on the ignition.
Olivia backed away. 'I am not getting on that death trap.'
'I've got a helmet for you, you'll be safe.'
'I don't care, sitting on that is a death wish!'
Leo leaned against the scooter. 'But Chanel calls your name..'
'I can get a fucking taxi,' she hissed. Leo looked down at the ground, hiding his smile.
'Liv, this is fast, you'll get there in no time. I promise I'm a safe driver. Also, you get to wrap your arms around me and I just know you're dying to do that.'
Olivia's eyes flashed. He continued to watch her until she gave an exasperated groan. 'Fine! But only because I want to get there quickly.'
She took the other helmet and got on the scooter. Leo slung himself over and got the scooter ready to move off.
'Now, Olivia, remember. I'm driving the vehicle so no sudden urges to jump my bones, okay?' he said, mock seriously. 'Safety first.'
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Camille snuggled up next to Drake as they drank their morning coffees. The past couple of days had been bliss, that was the only word to describe this. Mornings passed in a cloud of coffee, pancakes, sex and laughter. Nights welcomed secrets shared under the cover of darkness, hands constantly touching, bodies together, until they fell into an undisturbed slumber.
Camille was happy. Finally, it felt like everything had slotted into place.
Drake was playing absentmindedly with a lock of her hair, twirling it around his finger. 'Can I ask you something?' he said nervously.
'Sure, what is it?'
He cleared his throat and turned to properly face her. Camille's heart began to beat a little faster. He looked so serious.
'It's Wednesday,' he told her. 'I have my AA meeting today and it's kind of an important one. You see, I've hit six months sobriety and I have to make a speech.. Would you like to come with me? Friends and family are welcome so you don't need to feel awkward and it would mean a lot if you could be there, somehow your face makes everything a little brighter for me and I don't feel so ashamed of it..'
He was rambling now, scared she would say no.
Camille grabbed his hands, silencing him. 'Drake, I would love to see your speech. I want to support you.'
Of course she did. Why had he thought she would say no? She had been so understanding when he told her about his addiction in the first place.
She clapped her hands excitedly. 'That's amazing you've hit six months! Do I need to dress up? Is it like an awards ceremony? Can I cheer when you finish your speech?'
Drake chuckled. 'No need to dress up, honestly. But yeah, you can cheer! I like that!'
*************************************************
Camille had made an effort to dress up anyway. She had chosen a silk grey cami, black cigarette trousers and black Manolo heels. She wanted to look good for him.
She sat down with the other guests of the AA meeting, her eyes studying the room. Drake and the other AAs were sat in rows in front, side on so she could see his profile, and a small stage was set up. A table with sandwiches and orange juice was laid out to make the meeting feel less cold, more welcoming.
The AA leader, Kathy, stood up and began to speak but Camille could only focus on Drake. She felt an overwhelming sense of pride. How could she feel so strongly about him after only knowing him for a short time?
'Now, one of our members has been incredible and has reached the six month target,' Kathy said. 'He is always the one who encourages his peers to be honest and I think I speak for everyone here that it is a pleasure to see him every Wednesday. Please welcome on stage, Drake Walker!'
The room clapped, Camille more so. She let out a whoop and ignored the people who turned to stare at her.
Drake smiled as he took the microphone. 'Thank you, Kathy,' he began. Clearing his throat, he looked out to the audience but his eyes met Camille's. He focused on her as he began to speak.
'Before I began attending these meetings, I was a mess. An absolute mess. I was depressed, I felt worthless and felt like my life was going nowhere. I used whiskey as a crutch, to the point where it was the only liquid I drank. This went on for about four months and I entered a really dark place. '
He was quiet for a moment, considering his words. 'My girlfriend at the time was really supportive. Hell, she got rid of my secret stash which she found in my wardrobe and poured it down the sink. She told me she couldn't watch me kill myself. She kept me on the straight and narrow, but I always felt guilty. Yes, I still drink beer but I don't touch the hard stuff, but any time we were in social situations, I could just tell she was worried I would turn to whiskey. She couldn't relax and I constantly felt guilty. Like a burden. We're over now. '
The room was silent. Drake bit his lip but continued, his voice clear and steady.
'I've met someone new,' he said, smiling softly. The audience smiled with him. 'She's great, really great. When we started our.. relationship - we haven't defined it yet but let's just call it that, heh- it was messy. It was really messy and I began to feel tempted to reach for the whiskey.'
Camille blanched. He hadn't told her that before. Drake's eyes were trained on hers, begging her to stay with him for this. 'I felt like an asshole. So many times I wanted to buy a bottle but I'd stop myself because of Camille. That's her name, my girl. I didn't want to treat her the same way I treated my ex. I didnt want her to feel on edge and I didn't want her to see me at my worst. She already knew about my AA meetings and she never judged me for my problem and she never treated me like a child. She just accepted it. Honestly, she's incredible and I don't want to lose that. She helped me in so many ways to deal with the past few months, just by being there. She got me through a dark point and she isn't even aware of it. Seriously, I can see her face now, she looks shocked. '
The audience turned to follow Drake's eyes and they saw Camille, who's eyes were wide and fixed on Drake.
'So I've reached six months of not touching the hard stuff and honestly, I'm not touching it again. Why would I want to numb myself when everytime I see her face, I feel happy? I feel worthy. I feel calm. So, thank you Camille. You saw me for myself. I'm going to keep on this path and I can't promise it will be easy, hell it will be tough, but I'm finally feeling positive. I want to reach 12 months and just keep going from there. I have to keep at this. I will keep at this. I've only just gotten started.'
He was blushing now. He'd said too much. He had definitely freaked her out.
Camille gave him a wide smile and began to cheer, just as she said she would. Drake felt relief. Everyone in the room followed her lead and Drake gave an awkward wave. Camille stood up, her eyes shining as she clapped enthusiastically.
When the AAs went to join their families, Drake slowly walked up to Camille with a hesitant expression on his face.
'So..' He started.
Camille blushed and took his hand. She looked up into his eyes and gave him a smile that caused her eyes to crinkle up in the corners. 'You're amazing,' she whispered.
He shuffled on his feet awkwardly. 'Sorry I drew attention to you there. Got carried away.'
Camille shook her head and pressed a kiss to his lips. 'You said everything you needed to, Drake. I.. I really like this relationship we have too. You make me happy.'
Drake grinned at the word 'relationship'. There. It was defined.
******************************************
Leo bought Olivia a Chanel lipstick.
When they left the store, Leo suggested they hang out and have a Paris adventure. Olivia agreed - it was the least she could do after he bought her Chanel lipstick. His scooter was left parked, as Olivia refused to get back on it.
They went to Maxims for Bloody Mary's then ended up at the Tuileries where they sat by the fountain and made a game out of people watching.
They wandered to the Louvre but both announced 'Fuck that!' when they saw the line to get in so they walked aimlessly, ducking into boutiques and bars as they went. They drank Old Fashioned’s in Harry’s Bar, the haunt of Ernest Hemingway and Coco Chanel herself, and they stumbled outside when the sun was beginning to set, casting a rose glow over the buildings.
As they wandered back to Olivia’s hotel, she couldn’t help but think how.. nice this was. They were chatting easily, laughing. She had gradually opened up to him as the day had gone by, just accepting he was going to keep pushing her to let go.
They reached her hotel front door.
‘Today was actually not that bad,’ Olivia admitted. Leo grinned, looking genuinely pleased.
‘I’m a fun guy. Every day is good with me.’
She kicked the ground with her heel and looked at him, biting her lip. ‘Do you.. want to come in for a nightcap?’
He looked past her into the hotel then back to her. ‘I need to pick up my Vespa,’ he told her. ‘Since someone wouldn’t ride back on it.’
She reddened, embarrassed that she had even asked. Why had she even asked him to join her for a drink? He saw her flush and gave her a soft smile.
‘But I can always park up outside here..’
Olivia tried not to look pleased. ‘I’ll see you at the hotel bar in thirty minutes then.’
‘Get a bottle of champagne,’ he told her. Olivia nodded and turned to open the door but was stopped by Leo catching her by the arm.
‘And tell the bartender we’ll have it in your room.’
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1) Hey now, WL is definitely not a showrunner god. The Lowe storyline was triggering and unnecessary. Lowe should have ended up in prison and Olivia should have had a moment in court to stand up and remind him of how he took advantage of her. Whichever writer pitch that story (WL or either wise) should receive a demotion for even suggesting it.
2) I shipped Bensler in my early years and even stopped watching the show once Stabler left!! The pair were arguably my favorite ship ever at that point (aside from Booth & Brennan in Bones). The way he protected and looked out for her was everything I wanted to see from them. I wasn't happy with how it happened and hated how sad and angry it left Liv. Ten years later, I can see the good and the bad in their relationship and hope that others can see it too. The situation with Kathy, Elliot, and Olivia wasn't healthy at all, and as a someone who has been in Kathy's situation (relating to Elliot's conflicted emotions between two women), the writer's shouldn't have sacrificed her happiness at the expense of building up tension between the partners. If Bensler happens, as I'm sure it will, then the writers have some work to do to make sure that it ends in a way where the two help work to repair the damage that was done when Elliot completely cut Olivia out of his life and ghosted her. Mental health professionals always caution patients to be careful when entering a relationship with someone who treated you that way before and I hope that the two get to really hash things out in this upcoming season.
3) Per your hashtag, diversity IS needed, in cop shows. Whether it's diversity in characters' sexual orientation or their cultural diversity, it's needed. My trans friends and family loved the care that Kat showed to trans victims. It got them to start watching the show again. The departure of Kat and Garland were mentioned because both were abrupt decisions that neither actor had requested. It was only a comment as to whether something is going on behind closed NBC doors that we have yet to be made aware of.
nothing pisses me off more than people saying svu is “straight washing” barba bc they convinced himself he’s canonically gay and forget bisexuality exists when raùl esparza himself is bisexual.
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